WEBVTT

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Hi there, how are you? I am sorry am I rushing you? No, no, I'm fine. No, yeah, I had a work

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meeting and it was supposed to be an hour earlier but then he had to delay it by an

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hour so that meant that it ran right up to our hour and so anyway but he was very,

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you know, very kind and he was like, oh no, you know, let you off, you know,

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at the top of the hour so anyway. So how have you been?

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I've been, some of things have been really good. I've been

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about saying a lot of, I think, changing the way that I talk to my body and my brain

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and just becoming more aware of how much I compare myself to what I was able to do before

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and a lot of those things I wasn't even aware of how I talk to myself, to my brain and to my

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body every day. So I've caught myself several times doing it and also been a lot more gentle

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and understanding and just allowed myself to be tired at work or stressed out or okay, my mind

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is not working like it used to or I wanted to and that's okay, you're probably just a bit tired,

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just like, yeah, and so that's been really, really good.

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Good, yeah, that's great. That's wonderful to hear.

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So I was like, what am I, I was like, why do I want to talk to you again? Like, other than that,

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it's of course, it's very helpful and what am I going to share tonight? So I was like,

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maybe I just want to share a little bit of how I'm doing. I'm not really sure and then I've

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been asked in this spirit, like, what do you want for me? Like, how do you want to

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speak through Ashley? Like, and I've been like, I don't even, usually I'm like, oh,

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I have two things or two questions or three. Yeah, yeah. Then I thought I'll just like share

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a little bit of what's going on and you can, I don't know. Sure. Yeah. So I think,

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like, I feel quite a bit, I'm doing much better than I, when I started talking to you maybe a

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month ago. I feel like a lot has happened. I still feel like I'm in a, a lot of areas are more

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in rest or just like focused on God or good. I still feel a lot of,

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a lot of, quite a bit of pain. I don't know if it's life pain, like I'll,

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I struggle with sleep and I sometimes just wake up in the morning with anxiety and I don't know,

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I don't know what I dreamed or what happened at night, but yeah. I do struggle with anxiety

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sometimes in the morning and sometimes during the day and just like pain and I feel kind of

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restless, but when I go to God, I feel more like, like part of me is like, okay, I'm pretty

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driven usually. And let me just start a new project with God. I feel more like a scripture.

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I don't know what it is in English, but in Norwegian, it is Bible scriptures, like in

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silence and trust your strength will be that's like, like kind of more like be still and know

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that I'm God, like in silence, not take on yourself, a lot of new things, but I do feel

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more energy after we've started talking again, but then I am a lot overwhelmed. I am, I do have

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quite a bit of pain without really, there could be a hundred things, but in like deep things or

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old things, I don't know. What do you mean by pain? What kind of pain are you talking about?

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Anxiety? Are you talking about like, you think it is anxiety and sometimes I'm like, I'll feel

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this pain and then I'll think, oh, maybe it's because I stopped working out. Cause I used to

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work out a lot. And now I do seven minutes of workout stretching at night, but I don't work out

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like I run, like I used to do. Cause I, like I shared with you before, I kind of disciplined

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myself for so long that now when I try to discipline myself in working, in working out,

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I haven't been able to do it. I'm able to go for walks, but the thought of just forcing myself to

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run or do a lot of exercise, I don't know. So I haven't for a year and a half, and I used to do.

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it maybe three times a week for years. Yeah. So then I thought,

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Oh, maybe if I just start working out, then the anxiety

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will go away. But I don't know, I don't think it's that easy. So

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in a lot of it is. So then I tend to kind of like, get too

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much on my phone or into drama, like, like, I'm not a person

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that actually binge watch. But then lately, I've been just like,

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so quite a bit overwhelmed that I've been watching, I don't

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know, I think, like legal drama or on. And I've been kind of

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feeling like I'm just like escaping through it. And I'm

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usually not a person that binge watch series, even though I'm

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sure that also is helpful at times. But um, and just getting

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to and it's, I don't think that's like a healthy way of

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like, watching too much series or being too much on my phone, I

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can just tell, like, I'm trying to run away. Yeah. And then I

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think it is like, I, the good thing about things have been

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better the last month after I talked to you, is that I've had

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more energy and more, like, Oh, and then I've been more bored.

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And what am I going to do with my time, and I'm doing better.

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So I'm starting to think more about, oh, my gosh, I have a lot

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of time on my hands. And what should I do with my time? Should

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I apply for another job, that would be nice to have like an

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extra financial thing, and also socially and also something to

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do. So I think also part of it is loneliness that I because I

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used to have more, I used to now since I'm studying and

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working, I'm not very much at school where I have that my

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colleagues, I am quite a bit alone studying just in my own

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heads. And so I don't get as much social and I also lived

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moved to another city. So it's like two and a half years ago.

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So I don't have my family here or the net. Yeah. And like I have

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back in my old city where I have tons of friends built over many

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years. And so then, and then I think it is like, what am I

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going to do about China because I got called me here to study

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Chinese, but then now I'm a basic Chinese teacher, but I

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don't know, should I go to China? I used to have admissions

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calling, should I do something more about that? Like I

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mentioned last time about writing and singing, like I know

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God gifted me, why am I not using it? Why am I on my phone

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instead? And socially, like, and then I thought like, maybe I

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should, like people have been people quite often come to me

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for advice. And we've been talking about maybe I should

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start coaching. And then I mentioned to a couple that I

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would like I told you that I would show them some of the

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videos. And then out of that came like, oh, maybe someone

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would want me to coach them in life coaching or in whatever. So

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then that's been kind of on my mind, should I spend my time

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with that? I also have a deep desire to do more for eternity,

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just like, I don't know. Like, I'm really attracted to things

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going on outside the church. And then I've been trying to push

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doors with a lot of things and a lot of people lead them closer

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to God. And then some of it has kind of stopped up. So I'm kind

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of like, what's going on with that, like the Chinese crew, I

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was with a summer, some colleagues at work that I'm

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getting closer with. So there's all these things with like, I

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want to do something for eternity, like value, bring

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people to Christ somehow I want to be a missionary and go to

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China, or do I I don't know, did God call me to do that? Should I

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do coaching? Why do I feel lonely? Why this anxiety, music

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and writing? I don't know. So that's why am I stressed out so

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much and so overwhelmed? How do I get out of that? So yeah,

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yeah, that makes sense.

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Does it?

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Yeah, yeah. It's like, it's like, it's like from anything

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from like a vision, like, what am I meant to do with my life?

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And what is what does God want to create with me to like,

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you know, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

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oh, I feel lonely and anxious

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like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

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and what am I going to do with my social life

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or like go through Christmas?

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Like I'm stressed out about Christmas coming up

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and all the gifts I need to buy

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and all the exams and everything coming up.

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So it's like anything from like those things

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to the really big things in life.

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Yeah, yeah.

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And why am I in so much pain kind of?

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Like, why is there so much anxiety?

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Even though I'm better than a month ago.

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Correct.

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Sorry, I keep looking down because I'm writing notes.

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I promise.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

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Because while you're talking, I'm like,

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oh, you know, there's this

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and I just want to write myself notes so I don't forget.

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So the first thing that I would say,

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and this completely changed everything for me.

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Of course, I tell people that a lot.

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I'm like, oh, this completely changed everything for me

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because the impact and the shift was so major

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from just one thing.

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And then I would do something else with the Lord

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and then that would majorly shift everything.

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So in other words,

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my point is that these were high impact shifts

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and they were very simple.

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And the fact that it's just like,

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you're just doing this one thing,

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this is one shift of direction,

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just completely affected, made a major impact.

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And one of the things is to,

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you're, this is kind of like a theme that I'm, I think,

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that I'm seeing is that it seems like

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you're trying to escape now.

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You're always looking for and trying to do

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whatever it is that you're trying.

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You're trying to always invest in something that never comes

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and you're just tired because you're however old

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and how long have you been doing this?

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How long you've been looking for?

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Well, one day and I'm building for eventually

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being able to do this

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and I'm eventually being able to do this.

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And then you can get very overwhelmed

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by not receiving the benefits and the fruit

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because it's always, you're always pouring into the future.

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And that's good.

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And the fact that God wants us to,

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there's an aspect of that, that it's good.

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But the problem is if we, if that is our focus

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and we're not valuing and living in the present

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and it means we're always trying to escape it,

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well, then we're gonna have this thing.

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We're gonna have the pain of the, what'd you call it?

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Not the discrepancy, but that the pain of the fact

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that you're meant to live now,

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but you're not allowing yourself to live now,

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live in the present and enjoy the now.

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And it's always in anticipation of what might come

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and what you're trying to build towards and whatever.

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And so the whole building towards thing,

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that's good and healthy, but it's only good and healthy

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if you're enjoying and fully present in the now

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and enjoying who it is that you are,

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enjoying what it is that you currently do,

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being fully present in what it is that you do,

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enjoying the process, et cetera.

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But if it's always something that you're just trying

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to deal with and get through in order to get

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to the next thing, then it makes today always painful.

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It makes today and all the to-do lists

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always very overwhelming because it has to be gotten through

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as opposed to enjoyed for what it is.

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Like for instance, this will help me give you an example.

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Like for instance, we can see that with Christmas lists,

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you know, Christmas presents,

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like whether it's like all of the stuff that we have to do

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or if it's all this stuff that we have to like buy,

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whatever it is, it's this to-do,

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it's all of this stuff that requires effort,

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energy, thought, whatever of us.

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And we can just feel like we're a victim to it,

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that we're being driven by it, we're being enslaved by it,

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we're being like required,

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something is being obligated,

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we're obligated to do something as opposed to,

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in kind of like something we just have to get through,

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as opposed to enjoying the process of buying the gifts,

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the thought, thinking about them or whatever.

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We keep wanting to get through it

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just to have the gifts on Christmas day so we can give it.

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And we just try to get through this part.

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And this is one example of like other things,

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the other ways that you can approach

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other aspects of your life,

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like your exercise or your studying or whatever

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is enjoying and allowing yourself

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to fully experience the process of it,

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as opposed to simply trying to get through it

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in order to get something else.

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Then we end up resenting this, which makes us not fully be able to enjoy what we get

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out of it anyway.

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So because remember, think of it in light of something even larger, that the purpose

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of our relationship with God is the journey, not the destination.

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It's the doing of the thing.

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It's the developing of the relationship, not in the arriving somewhere.

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Sure, the arriving somewhere, sure, we get that, but we get that, you know, at some point.

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But the thing is that God enjoys the intermediate, enjoys the process, the Israelites going through

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the wilderness, which, you know, is what the Breakthrough Program was about or, you know,

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or whatever was, might be focusing on and helping people understand the phase of like

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where you're just struggling through the wilderness.

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And we just feel like, oh my word, this is just something I have to get through and I

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just have to buckle down and just do it.

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And what's going to help me get through it is what I'm getting is where I'm going.

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And so I'm just trying to endure so I can get this reward.

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God enjoys the journey through the desert.

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He's like, no, this is a precious time.

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You and I are interacting, we're doing stuff.

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And it's kind of like, this is the point.

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This isn't the point.

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This is the point.

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This is where we're going.

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But this is the point.

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And we keep skipping the point, trying to get to the end, trying to get to this final

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thing.

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And then we're going to end up spending the majority of our life in resentment of how

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we have to, of all of these things that we have to do, because our goal is just to get

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somewhere.

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It's to finally have the presents ready at Christmas.

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It's to finally be at the weight that we want.

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It's to finally be done with studying and know Chinese.

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It's to finally just, it's just, it's just the end.

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And that quite honestly is so often, it depends on what the situation is, but can quite honestly

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be very short lived.

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There can be, there's quite a bit of, well, I say that that's not necessarily true, but

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my point is like, there's so much of life that's spent in process.

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The majority of life is spent in process and, and so that is the part of life.

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That's the thing that life is made of and it needs to be enjoyed.

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And so if we're always trying to escape it, we're always trying to, if we get overwhelmed

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by it because we feel that this is something we're just trying to endure and get through,

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we feel obligated.

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We feel resentful of it.

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We're always trying to escape it.

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We can be disciplined enough to just put our nose to the grindstone and just get through

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it and we can do it, but we're not going to enjoy it.

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We're not going to enjoy our lives.

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We're going to always feel anxious because we're always going to feel chased.

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We're going to feel chased by our to-do list because we're not owning our to-do list.

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We feel that it is being put on us.

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Well, in order to get this, I have to do all of this as opposed to choosing, no, no, no.

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This is how I'm choosing to live life.

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I'm choosing that.

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I'm going to go through this process of like, I want, I want to have Christmas gifts with

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all these people.

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So I'm going to enjoy the process of thinking of what it is that they like and getting it

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for him and whatever.

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And you don't have to take a long time, but enjoy it.

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Enjoy the actual doing of the thing or, and when I say enjoy it by the, I don't mean that

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necessarily we like everything it is that we have to do.

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Like for instance, studying, studying isn't always fun, but appreciate it and don't, don't,

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don't internally reject it.

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Remember that if we're not in a state of rest, we're in an active state of resistance.

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Don't resist it.

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I'm just like, oh, I don't want to do this, you know, or I'm studying and I'm really not

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liking this, but I, Hey, I'm going to grip my teeth and bear it.

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It just makes, if you do that with studying and you do that with exercise and you do that

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with, I don't know, nutrition and you do that with your Christmas list and you do that with,

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I don't know, whatever else, then the majority of how you're spending your time and subconsciously

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your energy is an actively pushing things away.

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And then that just create it, but you feel like you're, but you know that you have to

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do it, but you don't want to do it.

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And so you're always in this state of, of, of not just animosity, but the best thing

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I could think of is just resistance where there's this, this pushing against of an energy

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as opposed to just being at rest, that takes a lot of effort.

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And then it's just exhausting when you compound it in multiple areas of your life at once,

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let alone just one is, is any of this making sense?

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I can get into more detail, but it's the idea of making sense.

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Okay.

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Like for another example, like say for instance, for the exercise.

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So I've not been someone who likes to exercise.

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I just, I'm just bored to tears.

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I'm like, why on earth does anybody like this?

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But what I did is, um, my husband loves to exercise and he sees the value in it.

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So after having, you know, been in a relationship with him for, you know, I guess two years,

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something like that, then I began to see, you know, the benefits that is, has not only

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on his health, but on his justice, wellbeing, and he looks good and in all kinds of stuff.

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And I just thought, well, you know, it's an area of my life that I felt intimidated by.

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I don't understand it.

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I don't understand it.

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I, I don't, I'm not interested, but other people have an appreciation for it.

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And I thought, well, God created it.

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And we all know, we all hear that it's good for your health and whatever, but it's an

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area just don't understand.

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So what I did is I decided, you know, um, I want to be able to shape my body in a particular

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way.

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That pre creates value for me and motivation for me is I want to be able to look a specific

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way.

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So I thought, okay, I'll use that as my driving motivation just to start to exercise.

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So, um, I invested in a, in a trainer.

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I've never done that before.

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Um, and so this is all very new and what I'm doing and my whole point in telling you all

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of this is this is not, this is something for me that normally I would just grip my

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teeth and bear it.

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I am a very disciplined person when I want to be, I mean like extremely, and I can do

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whatever the heck I have to do to like push through something.

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And that's how I was.

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Um, that's how I thought that that was the only way that I could exercise consistently

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and be healthy.

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It was just if I gritted my teeth and beard it and bore it because it was like other people

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like it.

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I don't, so I'm just going to have to make myself do it.

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So, but what I decided is I thought, well, that's never worked in the past.

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I can't keep it up.

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I always end up falling off the wagon, you know, so I thought, well, let's try something

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different.

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past few years with the Lord, that it's important to enjoy life.

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It's enjoy myself, enjoy my body instead of resisting things, instead of resisting and

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resenting the fact that I have to do this or that my body feels this way or my body's

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acting this way or whatever things that I want to come up with instead of, and I've

333
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learned that I got so much more, not only was like more effortless to, to live if I

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just shifted into rest and I received and enjoyed and appreciated things instead of

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resisting them.

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But I also learned that I got progress faster and easier, though I would lose weight more

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effortlessly by not resisting it and by not fighting it and working really, really hard

338
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on a diet.

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And by just loving my body, I noticed that I would drop weight and I'm like, okay, so

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this is a principle that I'm learning in the spiritual realm, as well as in like ways that

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I've physically interacted with my body or even emotional, emotional healing that I've

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done.

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I have, the more that I shifted into rest, the more that everything just effortlessly

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happened and things that I've been wanting to heal from, from year for years, we're finally

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healing by not working so hard on it and just by resting.

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And so I thought, okay, I now need to apply it to this area that I've never applied it

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to, which is exercise because exercise, I've always forced myself, you know, to do it.

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And it's always really hard and I just grit my teeth and bore it.

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And I thought, okay, if it's worked, if this principle has worked in so many other areas

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of my life, I need to try to apply it to this one.

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And so I have, and I'm telling you what, I have loved it.

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I look forward to going to work out at the gym because, and here's why, I really haven't

353
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lost, if I've lost any weight, I don't know it.

354
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If I've lost any like inches, I don't know it, but I feel so good.

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And here's my point.

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I chose, I want to enjoy my body instead of being unhappy with my body and forcing it

357
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into something and just being like mad at it until we get it in line, you know?

358
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And okay, I'm just going to push harder on my exercises.

359
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I'm going to run farther.

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I'm going to do whatever to try to get this goal.

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It's really hard to continue to not just get your goal, but then to maintain the goal over

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a long period of time because I'm always fighting me.

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I want to spend my life enjoying me.

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So I've chosen instead to approach this, to approach this exercise, including like diet,

365
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et cetera, by diet, I just mean like how I'm eating.

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I don't mean like I'm eating less calories.

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I just mean like how I'm eating, approaching it from, I want to enjoy, I want to enjoy

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living.

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I want to enjoy the experience that I'm having in my body, the experience that I have of

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eating.

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And by that, I don't.

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I mean, oh, I get to eat cookies.

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No, no.

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I mean, like, enjoy, enjoy eating without, um, you know, without, thank you.

375
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Without feeling like a particular goal that I have is forcing

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00:25:12.980 --> 00:25:14.740
me to eat a particular way.

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It's like, no, no, no, let's, let's just enjoy this whole thing.

378
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What do I want out of it?

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I want to be healthy.

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I want to be in control of how I, of, of my body, meaning like I want my muscles

381
00:25:25.380 --> 00:25:30.900
to be strong and to be healthy so that I feel like they're holding me up so that

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00:25:30.900 --> 00:25:37.440
I feel like if I want to shape it a specific way, then I, um, then I learn

383
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how to do that as opposed to, well, I don't know other people that are experts.

384
00:25:41.880 --> 00:25:43.080
They know how to do it, but I don't know.

385
00:25:43.360 --> 00:25:48.480
I want to gain a bit more, not just appreciation of, of what God created,

386
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but I want to be able to, um, I want to be able to take ownership of my own

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00:25:55.900 --> 00:25:57.960
body because God gave it to me.

388
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You know how we've been talking about ownership, you know, owning our

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spiritual relationship with the Lord, owning our own emotions, owning our

390
00:26:04.380 --> 00:26:09.660
decisions, owning our choices, knowing that they're not being forced on us.

391
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Knowing that God gave us a sacred free will to operate within, and we need to

392
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acknowledge and own that free will and, and submit it to the Lord, but we can't

393
00:26:22.780 --> 00:26:26.860
submit it unless we own it, unless we've chosen, no, this is mine and I can do

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00:26:26.860 --> 00:26:29.280
whatever I want to with it because God gave me that right.

395
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And what I choose out of my own free will is I choose to submit it.

396
00:26:34.060 --> 00:26:37.940
I still own it, but I submit it to him, meaning that it's always submitted to

397
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whatever it is that he ultimately wills, et cetera.

398
00:26:40.760 --> 00:26:44.880
Um, and that I'm going to ultimately choose whatever it is that he chooses.

399
00:26:45.360 --> 00:26:50.260
But my choice is to choose whatever he choose as opposed to it's forced on me,

400
00:26:50.260 --> 00:26:53.940
or I have to, because God won't be pleased with me unless I don't know.

401
00:26:53.940 --> 00:26:56.180
It's an active choice that I'm making.

402
00:26:56.460 --> 00:26:57.900
And it's the same thing with my body.

403
00:26:57.920 --> 00:27:04.480
I chose, you know, I want to, I want to, to own my body as a fill, as

404
00:27:04.480 --> 00:27:06.240
opposed to feeling subject to it.

405
00:27:06.760 --> 00:27:08.180
And I want to act like it.

406
00:27:08.380 --> 00:27:13.080
So I say that I believe that God has given me my body to rule over, but if I'm

407
00:27:13.080 --> 00:27:16.800
not ruling over my body, then apparently I don't believe God gave it to me to rule

408
00:27:16.800 --> 00:27:20.100
over because I'm not actually acting on my faith.

409
00:27:20.160 --> 00:27:23.460
So there, if we don't, because James says, if we don't act on your faith,

410
00:27:24.180 --> 00:27:26.100
if you know, faith without works is dead.

411
00:27:26.340 --> 00:27:30.320
If you don't act on what you believe, you actually don't believe it because you

412
00:27:30.320 --> 00:27:34.600
will always, always, always, always, always act on what it is you truly believe.

413
00:27:35.080 --> 00:27:39.740
So you can say all day long that you believe something, but if you don't act

414
00:27:39.740 --> 00:27:43.920
like it, then it means that you, that you don't believe that it's, that it's

415
00:27:43.920 --> 00:27:48.760
actually strong enough to bear you acting on it.

416
00:27:49.200 --> 00:27:53.000
So we choose to act on what it is we subconsciously really believe instead.

417
00:27:53.860 --> 00:27:58.780
So anyway, so I thought, okay, I need to actually put my money to work, put my

418
00:27:58.780 --> 00:28:01.260
actions where my mouth is.

419
00:28:01.800 --> 00:28:06.640
I need to, if God says that I have ownership of my body, I need to own it.

420
00:28:07.200 --> 00:28:08.200
I need to rule it.

421
00:28:08.200 --> 00:28:09.900
And part of that is in ruling.

422
00:28:09.940 --> 00:28:11.100
I need to be a good King.

423
00:28:11.380 --> 00:28:12.700
I need to be a kind King.

424
00:28:13.020 --> 00:28:17.140
I need to, I need to take care of, I need to protect, I need to give it the

425
00:28:17.140 --> 00:28:23.800
environment that my body needs to change and to shape and to be healthy and to

426
00:28:23.800 --> 00:28:26.060
heal in a way it knows how to do.

427
00:28:26.320 --> 00:28:29.760
I don't have to give it instructions that like micromanaged instructions

428
00:28:29.760 --> 00:28:30.980
of how to, of how to fix it.

429
00:28:31.240 --> 00:28:32.340
It knows what to do.

430
00:28:32.920 --> 00:28:36.880
But if I, if I X, like it knows how to build muscle, it knows how to shape it.

431
00:28:37.360 --> 00:28:41.160
All I have to do is I have to put it in an environment where I'm doing certain

432
00:28:41.160 --> 00:28:46.440
things that enables it to then respond, to choose how it wants to respond.

433
00:28:46.980 --> 00:28:51.600
But so that's what I'm doing right now is I'm, is I'm for the first time in my

434
00:28:51.600 --> 00:28:57.360
life, I'm actually enjoying the exercise, exercising, because in enjoying the

435
00:28:57.360 --> 00:29:03.360
process, even though it's taking up six hours of my week and for me to go from

436
00:29:03.360 --> 00:29:07.220
nothing to six hours of my week, being taken out by exercise is a lot.

437
00:29:07.520 --> 00:29:09.760
It's I'm not exercising for six hours.

438
00:29:09.800 --> 00:29:14.060
It's that I'm going three times a week and I exercise for about an hour and a

439
00:29:14.060 --> 00:29:19.720
half and then each time and each of those, I do like muscle weight training

440
00:29:19.720 --> 00:29:23.960
for an hour and then I do cardio for 20 or something like that, but then the

441
00:29:23.960 --> 00:29:29.920
driving back and forth each, each one way is 15 minutes, 15 to 20 minutes, about 15.

442
00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:34.460
I let's just say so anyway, when you add all that up in my mind, cause I value

443
00:29:34.460 --> 00:29:39.320
time so much, it's taking up six hours out of my week, but the reason that I'm

444
00:29:39.320 --> 00:29:45.180
okay with that is I'm not choosing to get a specific result out of that, out of it.

445
00:29:45.180 --> 00:29:49.660
Like, well, I have to look this way and I have to be smaller and it has to be.

446
00:29:49.660 --> 00:29:52.980
And my goal is by the end of the month, you know, I don't have that.

447
00:29:53.180 --> 00:29:58.500
I just have this general overall idea of like, I want to enjoy my body and I do

448
00:29:58.500 --> 00:30:00.000
have a goal, but I'm.

449
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.480
going to enjoy the process of getting there. I'm going to enjoy my body while we get there

450
00:30:06.480 --> 00:30:14.320
before it's a specific thing. So that gives you one before it looks a specific way, while it looks

451
00:30:14.320 --> 00:30:18.560
the way that it currently does, which is, you know, which is heavier than I want to look and

452
00:30:18.560 --> 00:30:24.080
heavier than I want to feel, but I'm going to enjoy what it is that I have, as opposed to

453
00:30:24.080 --> 00:30:30.800
rejecting it, you know, and I'm going to fully accept it. And then with that acceptance, me and

454
00:30:30.800 --> 00:30:35.760
my body, we're going to, it's going to change. And I know that will, because that's how God's

455
00:30:35.760 --> 00:30:41.520
created that. That's a principle that God's put into place that when we fully accept things and

456
00:30:41.520 --> 00:30:48.880
just rest in it and start, instead of resisting things, things naturally respond favorably to a

457
00:30:48.880 --> 00:30:53.040
son of God. Most of the time, every now and then, you know, something I'll have a free will and

458
00:30:53.040 --> 00:30:57.360
I'll decide not to like, for instance, Jesus cursing the fig tree because it didn't give it,

459
00:30:57.360 --> 00:31:01.600
give him fruit, you know, and he said, you didn't give fruit to the son of man, even though it was

460
00:31:01.600 --> 00:31:06.160
out of season. He said, you should have done it, but it made its choice. And so every now and then

461
00:31:06.160 --> 00:31:10.160
something won't like Judas, for instance, Judas had a free will choice and that was the choice

462
00:31:10.160 --> 00:31:14.800
that he made, but the other disciples had made a different choice. The majority of the time,

463
00:31:15.760 --> 00:31:22.480
the way that God created the world, majority of the time, things respond favorably to a son of God.

464
00:31:23.840 --> 00:31:29.040
The exception is every now and then something doesn't, but the majority of the time it does.

465
00:31:29.040 --> 00:31:33.360
And the only reason that sometimes it doesn't is because we can't control things. Everything is

466
00:31:33.360 --> 00:31:39.360
given a free will, just like we are, but they are made just like our body to naturally respond

467
00:31:39.360 --> 00:31:46.960
favorably and has a tendency to. So anyway, what are your thoughts about all of that?

468
00:31:47.760 --> 00:31:57.360
I think I get a bit stressed hearing it just because, just because I don't know, like,

469
00:31:57.360 --> 00:32:02.080
it just sounds to me like going back to my old ways, but I know you're talking about not going

470
00:32:02.080 --> 00:32:07.680
into my old ways, you know, dieting and disciplining myself. It's just like, I don't

471
00:32:08.640 --> 00:32:17.680
know how I can do it without going back to my old way of disciplining myself.

472
00:32:19.840 --> 00:32:25.680
And like right now, like I was in a good stream of eating more healthy and eating a lot of salads

473
00:32:25.680 --> 00:32:31.760
and cooking. And now I cook dinner every day, but not so much salad like I used to. So I think

474
00:32:32.720 --> 00:32:42.880
it's like, I think I, like, I don't know how to do it and enjoy myself and it not becoming

475
00:32:43.440 --> 00:32:51.840
such a burden and so much forcing myself to do it because I actually, I actually quite

476
00:32:52.800 --> 00:33:02.160
sometimes enjoy running and I enjoy dancing, but then I think I've ran so much that I've

477
00:33:02.160 --> 00:33:07.760
got it up my throat and especially on the treadmill and Norway is so bad weather that

478
00:33:07.760 --> 00:33:14.000
running outside, it's kind of hard when it's raining and it's very hot. So then you kind of

479
00:33:14.000 --> 00:33:21.360
have to go outside on a treadmill. Yeah. And with dancing, I don't know, maybe it is that

480
00:33:22.320 --> 00:33:28.560
I used to be skinnier and much more flexible. And of course, when I was doing it a lot,

481
00:33:29.280 --> 00:33:36.880
I was a lot better. So I think that's a lot. It's like to get into dancing now when I'm not

482
00:33:36.880 --> 00:33:42.320
where I'm at, want to be physically. And I don't, I'm not as good as I used to be

483
00:33:44.960 --> 00:33:50.240
that it will just feel like a failure, but, but I've been, I, but I did enjoy dancing. So.

484
00:33:52.240 --> 00:33:58.640
Yeah. I was giving the exercise as an example. So don't get stressed. If you're like, Oh my word,

485
00:33:58.640 --> 00:34:04.080
how did I do that with exercise? Do you, do you, that's one example that I'm trying to,

486
00:34:04.080 --> 00:34:09.360
that that's an example that I used to make a point about like any of these other areas,

487
00:34:09.360 --> 00:34:13.679
like studying or I don't know, what else did we talk about?

488
00:34:14.880 --> 00:34:22.000
But do you think, are you saying to me that like, for instance, when I'm studying or I'm doing all

489
00:34:22.000 --> 00:34:29.760
these things and then I'm like, for instance, when I'm studying, I will some days look at my phone

490
00:34:30.639 --> 00:34:38.239
50 times while studying. Yeah. Does that mean that you're kind of running from it? Like,

491
00:34:38.239 --> 00:34:42.159
it's like you're looking for escape and then you last 10 minutes and then you just have to check

492
00:34:42.159 --> 00:34:48.800
your phone or do something else. Correct. Because you're not really enjoying studying or just like

493
00:34:49.679 --> 00:34:54.960
now I'm concentrating on this. You're just trying to get through it. So you keep trying to look for

494
00:34:54.960 --> 00:34:59.760
an escape. I should start coaching. I should go to China. I should.

495
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.080
find more friends or more social life,

496
00:35:02.080 --> 00:35:03.520
that's like the same thing.

497
00:35:03.520 --> 00:35:05.160
That's what you're saying, right?

498
00:35:06.160 --> 00:35:09.520
Because I'm not really enjoying here and now.

499
00:35:09.520 --> 00:35:11.960
Yeah, a lot of times if we're not enjoying something,

500
00:35:11.960 --> 00:35:15.960
we look for an easier,

501
00:35:15.960 --> 00:35:20.600
we think that the way that we're doing it is wrong

502
00:35:20.600 --> 00:35:23.400
and it'll be easier or fun if we do it a different way.

503
00:35:23.400 --> 00:35:25.000
And sometimes it is true.

504
00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:26.640
You know, we do need to be aware of that.

505
00:35:26.640 --> 00:35:28.240
Oh, okay, well maybe a different method

506
00:35:28.240 --> 00:35:30.160
would make it more fun or enjoyable,

507
00:35:30.160 --> 00:35:35.160
but it doesn't mean that it's guaranteed

508
00:35:35.160 --> 00:35:37.400
or even likely to solve the problem.

509
00:35:37.400 --> 00:35:40.880
Usually the thing is we're just looking for an escape

510
00:35:40.880 --> 00:35:42.800
because we're not allowing ourselves

511
00:35:42.800 --> 00:35:46.160
to enjoy the principle of what we're doing.

512
00:35:46.160 --> 00:35:49.280
And it's a lot of it,

513
00:35:49.280 --> 00:35:51.320
and I've just been shocked to discover this,

514
00:35:51.320 --> 00:35:54.640
but a lot of it really is the choice that we have to make

515
00:35:54.640 --> 00:35:56.920
as opposed to things that happen to us

516
00:35:56.920 --> 00:36:00.600
or how we just kind of like, you know,

517
00:36:02.000 --> 00:36:07.000
just feel like, well, it's just how I feel

518
00:36:07.120 --> 00:36:08.680
and I can't help how I feel.

519
00:36:08.680 --> 00:36:10.280
I can't control this or whatever.

520
00:36:10.280 --> 00:36:12.920
It's really amazing how much our feelings

521
00:36:12.920 --> 00:36:14.280
will follow our choices.

522
00:36:14.280 --> 00:36:17.200
So we have to, we keep looking for a feeling to change

523
00:36:17.200 --> 00:36:19.480
in order to base our choice off of,

524
00:36:19.480 --> 00:36:21.840
and usually the way that things work,

525
00:36:21.840 --> 00:36:24.840
especially faster, but period,

526
00:36:24.840 --> 00:36:27.120
as I usually, you always make a choice

527
00:36:27.120 --> 00:36:28.840
before your feelings change, always.

528
00:36:28.840 --> 00:36:30.600
It's just that sometimes we're aware of it

529
00:36:30.600 --> 00:36:34.360
and sometimes we're not, but you just base.

530
00:36:34.360 --> 00:36:38.160
So my, what I, and this is why,

531
00:36:38.160 --> 00:36:40.360
this is what I coach people in

532
00:36:40.360 --> 00:36:45.360
is to change how they approach life,

533
00:36:45.960 --> 00:36:49.240
how they approach their value to life,

534
00:36:49.240 --> 00:36:51.560
what they're choosing to get out of life.

535
00:36:51.560 --> 00:36:54.440
And so what I began to do is I chose,

536
00:36:55.040 --> 00:36:58.320
instead of life and living a specific life

537
00:36:58.320 --> 00:36:59.880
that has specific milestones

538
00:36:59.880 --> 00:37:03.280
and going through specific experiences,

539
00:37:03.280 --> 00:37:08.280
I choose instead to develop my relationship with the Lord

540
00:37:09.000 --> 00:37:14.000
in intimacy, to develop and then to fully live out

541
00:37:15.240 --> 00:37:17.160
who I am.

542
00:37:17.160 --> 00:37:20.120
I don't mean who I am as a human being

543
00:37:20.120 --> 00:37:22.840
having an earthly experience.

544
00:37:22.840 --> 00:37:26.920
I mean, my spirit, what makes me very unique.

545
00:37:26.920 --> 00:37:30.040
And then I get to express that spirit

546
00:37:30.040 --> 00:37:33.040
in a specific way here in creation, sure,

547
00:37:33.040 --> 00:37:34.840
but I choose to develop that.

548
00:37:34.840 --> 00:37:37.600
And so part of that is God made me spirit,

549
00:37:37.600 --> 00:37:39.520
he made me soul, he made me body.

550
00:37:39.520 --> 00:37:42.040
I'm like, okay, well, one of the things about my spirit

551
00:37:42.040 --> 00:37:43.640
is the fact that it rules

552
00:37:43.640 --> 00:37:45.680
and it's supposed to create things.

553
00:37:45.680 --> 00:37:49.840
So how do I rule and as a good king

554
00:37:49.840 --> 00:37:53.560
and provide protection and provision and all of that,

555
00:37:53.560 --> 00:37:56.160
how do I provide that?

556
00:37:56.160 --> 00:37:58.440
In other words, how do I operate out of who I am,

557
00:37:58.440 --> 00:38:00.880
which is a king who provides and protects

558
00:38:00.880 --> 00:38:04.040
and safe and all that, how do I be who I am,

559
00:38:04.040 --> 00:38:07.120
which is protector and all of that for my soul?

560
00:38:07.120 --> 00:38:09.800
And then how do I do that for my body?

561
00:38:09.800 --> 00:38:14.600
And then when you do that, you will be living out,

562
00:38:14.600 --> 00:38:19.200
you'll be living out who you are into a life experience

563
00:38:19.240 --> 00:38:21.000
because like, think of the fact

564
00:38:21.000 --> 00:38:22.880
that I wanted to rule my body,

565
00:38:22.880 --> 00:38:26.120
what kind of an earthly experience did that give me?

566
00:38:26.120 --> 00:38:28.680
I chose to start exercising.

567
00:38:28.680 --> 00:38:31.480
But the reason that I chose to start exercising

568
00:38:31.480 --> 00:38:34.080
is because I wanted to be me.

569
00:38:34.080 --> 00:38:35.720
I wanted to be who God made me to be.

570
00:38:35.720 --> 00:38:38.800
And he said, Ashley, I want you to be a good king

571
00:38:38.800 --> 00:38:39.920
who looks like me.

572
00:38:39.920 --> 00:38:42.400
You're my son, so you carry my DNA.

573
00:38:42.400 --> 00:38:44.240
And just like I am a good king to my kingdom,

574
00:38:44.240 --> 00:38:46.760
I'm teaching you how to be who it is that you are,

575
00:38:46.760 --> 00:38:48.160
which is a good king.

576
00:38:48.200 --> 00:38:52.760
I'm teaching you how to operate out of that character

577
00:38:52.760 --> 00:38:54.880
into your soul and into your body,

578
00:38:54.880 --> 00:38:57.800
just like I do out of me into you.

579
00:38:57.800 --> 00:39:00.520
And so it's like, okay, well then how do I do that?

580
00:39:00.520 --> 00:39:04.360
And then so when I chose that as my higher value,

581
00:39:04.360 --> 00:39:09.360
what kind of decisions does that then cause me to make

582
00:39:10.200 --> 00:39:12.560
or choices cause me to make

583
00:39:12.560 --> 00:39:15.000
that gives me a different early experience

584
00:39:15.000 --> 00:39:17.840
as opposed to I wanna have,

585
00:39:18.520 --> 00:39:21.240
so see how that's a top-down motivation?

586
00:39:21.240 --> 00:39:23.400
I wanna be this, and so I'm gonna be this,

587
00:39:23.400 --> 00:39:24.640
how can I be this?

588
00:39:24.640 --> 00:39:27.000
And then it creates an early experience.

589
00:39:27.000 --> 00:39:29.360
It determines the choices that I make down here

590
00:39:29.360 --> 00:39:32.360
because this is what I'm focused on

591
00:39:32.360 --> 00:39:36.000
as opposed to I wanna have these type of life experiences.

592
00:39:36.000 --> 00:39:38.520
I want to fill out my early destiny.

593
00:39:38.520 --> 00:39:39.840
Does God want me to write me?

594
00:39:39.840 --> 00:39:41.080
Does God want me to write a book?

595
00:39:41.080 --> 00:39:42.360
Does he want me to have a ministry?

596
00:39:42.360 --> 00:39:47.360
Does he want me to be a missionary?

597
00:39:47.520 --> 00:39:49.360
Does he want me to be all of these things?

598
00:39:49.360 --> 00:39:51.560
Cause you talked about how desiring

599
00:39:51.560 --> 00:39:54.400
to have an eternal purpose and whatever.

600
00:39:54.400 --> 00:39:57.320
What kind of a life experience can I create

601
00:39:57.320 --> 00:40:00.040
that's Godly, that God will like?

602
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.940
Do you see how it's starting out down here and it's trying to create life experiences

603
00:40:05.940 --> 00:40:09.300
and trying to put a God label on it?

604
00:40:09.300 --> 00:40:13.980
These are things that God's approved said, these are Godly experiences.

605
00:40:13.980 --> 00:40:21.580
And that is a lot harder because then, and that also makes us very anxious, dissatisfied,

606
00:40:21.580 --> 00:40:25.820
feels like we're always driving towards some accomplishment and feels like we're always

607
00:40:25.820 --> 00:40:32.020
falling short of something else because our focus is on what life experiences am I having

608
00:40:32.020 --> 00:40:34.840
and what life experiences am I not having?

609
00:40:34.840 --> 00:40:36.620
What am I creating for myself?

610
00:40:36.620 --> 00:40:38.940
What has, what fruit am I bearing?

611
00:40:38.940 --> 00:40:42.580
Meaning like what rewards am I getting from my effort?

612
00:40:42.580 --> 00:40:49.200
It's all focused on here and we keep trying to use pull down from God to get what we want,

613
00:40:49.200 --> 00:40:53.380
to get what makes us feel good as opposed to just choosing, you know what, instead of

614
00:40:53.380 --> 00:41:00.320
focusing on having a life, life experiences, having particular life experiences and going

615
00:41:00.320 --> 00:41:06.560
through life, feeling a particular way, I'm going to choose instead to feel rest and peace

616
00:41:06.560 --> 00:41:10.920
in my spirit, have intimacy with the Lord for the Lord to reveal to me who it is that

617
00:41:10.920 --> 00:41:11.920
I am.

618
00:41:11.920 --> 00:41:13.520
And I don't mean like, am I an artist?

619
00:41:13.520 --> 00:41:14.520
Am I good at drawing?

620
00:41:14.520 --> 00:41:15.520
Am I good at singing?

621
00:41:15.520 --> 00:41:16.520
I don't mean that.

622
00:41:16.520 --> 00:41:20.000
I mean, you know who it is that you are, your spirit that, that touches the world and like

623
00:41:20.940 --> 00:41:27.160
because it's, it's connected to the Holy spirit, you know, getting to know that and then having

624
00:41:27.160 --> 00:41:29.940
that touch the earth.

625
00:41:29.940 --> 00:41:35.140
And then, and then when you, when you get to know who it is that you are like, oh, well,

626
00:41:35.140 --> 00:41:38.820
you find that you're kind, you find that you're, that you're fully loving.

627
00:41:38.820 --> 00:41:43.380
You find that you are full of joy and peace and all the other fruits of the spirit.

628
00:41:43.380 --> 00:41:48.100
You find that you already are those things and then you start living out of those things.

629
00:41:48.100 --> 00:41:55.480
Those then help you make the choices of what it life X and that give you life experiences

630
00:41:55.480 --> 00:41:59.400
as opposed to trying to create these life experiences and trying to figure out how do

631
00:41:59.400 --> 00:42:03.200
I get what I need from above to make these life experiences happen?

632
00:42:03.200 --> 00:42:09.600
It's pulling it down as opposed to being up here and, and bringing it down.

633
00:42:09.600 --> 00:42:10.800
Does that make a bit more sense?

634
00:42:10.800 --> 00:42:14.960
So that's where we live from this perspective and we're always looking up and we're always

635
00:42:14.960 --> 00:42:15.960
pulling down.

636
00:42:15.960 --> 00:42:17.760
We're very anxious.

637
00:42:18.420 --> 00:42:24.500
It gives us, it creates a sense of overwhelm because we're always looking at life experiences

638
00:42:24.500 --> 00:42:28.740
from the perspective of what do I need to do?

639
00:42:28.740 --> 00:42:30.820
What do I need to figure out?

640
00:42:30.820 --> 00:42:32.900
You know, I'm trying to fit it all in.

641
00:42:32.900 --> 00:42:37.040
Am I fitting enough in, am I fitting the right things in to get me that result?

642
00:42:37.040 --> 00:42:40.940
You know, it's, it creates a whole bunch of anxiety as opposed to just choosing, you know

643
00:42:40.940 --> 00:42:45.580
what, I'm going to give up the life experiences and I'm going to, in my value system in life

644
00:42:45.580 --> 00:42:48.120
is to choose God and who he made me to be.

645
00:42:48.120 --> 00:42:52.200
Now, I don't fully know who God is and I don't fully know who I am and I'm going to discover

646
00:42:52.200 --> 00:42:55.480
that, but I'm going to choose that those are my highest values and those are the things

647
00:42:55.480 --> 00:42:57.760
that I'm going to cling to.

648
00:42:57.760 --> 00:43:01.000
Then from that, the other step will be created.

649
00:43:01.000 --> 00:43:03.120
It's a lot more effortless.

650
00:43:03.120 --> 00:43:08.600
It's not only is it more effortless and more fun way to experience life, but you'll accomplish,

651
00:43:08.600 --> 00:43:10.520
you'll bring heaven to earth that way.

652
00:43:10.520 --> 00:43:15.360
You can't bring heaven to earth by focusing on this and trying to get certain things to

653
00:43:16.140 --> 00:43:17.140
happen.

654
00:43:17.140 --> 00:43:21.180
And then just asking that and then us making it all sound like a godly spiritual conversation

655
00:43:21.180 --> 00:43:23.340
by asking, well, God, what do you want me to do?

656
00:43:23.340 --> 00:43:26.460
God's like, I didn't create you for life experiences.

657
00:43:26.460 --> 00:43:31.340
I didn't create you to accomplish something on earth for me of like writing a book or

658
00:43:31.340 --> 00:43:33.060
being a missionary or whatever.

659
00:43:33.060 --> 00:43:34.940
That's just something we do.

660
00:43:34.940 --> 00:43:40.300
That's not who I created you to be or even why I created you to exist and said, let's

661
00:43:40.300 --> 00:43:41.340
focus on that.

662
00:43:41.340 --> 00:43:45.360
And then out of that will naturally come all of these things that you end up doing because

663
00:43:45.360 --> 00:43:47.440
of who you are.

664
00:43:47.440 --> 00:43:49.560
So it relieves the anxiety.

665
00:43:49.560 --> 00:43:51.440
It relieves the overwhelm.

666
00:43:51.440 --> 00:43:56.360
And then because to tie it in with what I'd said earlier, because you're focused on who

667
00:43:56.360 --> 00:44:09.360
it is that you are, you know, God made you to be, then you end up enjoying your purpose

668
00:44:09.360 --> 00:44:16.260
and not purpose, but kind of like a motivation or whatever in having particular life experiences

669
00:44:16.260 --> 00:44:23.580
like studying and learning Chinese or interacting with friends and having relationships or,

670
00:44:23.580 --> 00:44:29.460
you know, having special Christmases with your family or exercise and nutrition or whatever.

671
00:44:29.460 --> 00:44:35.180
Having those life experiences, those will all come from you having chosen that you are

672
00:44:35.180 --> 00:44:39.880
as special as God says that you are, and you're choosing to enjoy you.

673
00:44:39.880 --> 00:44:45.640
So if you live fully enjoying how much love that you have for people, if you live fully

674
00:44:45.640 --> 00:44:52.160
enjoying how much peace and enjoy, enjoy that you get that, if you allow yourself to experience

675
00:44:52.160 --> 00:44:57.560
the peace and the joy that God says is in you and is part of who it is that you are,

676
00:44:57.560 --> 00:44:58.880
what will you then do?

677
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.040
you start doing certain exercises, or you start eating a particular way, or you start enjoying,

678
00:45:05.040 --> 00:45:12.320
you know, buying Christmas gifts for people, you start enjoying the actual experiences themselves,

679
00:45:12.320 --> 00:45:17.760
instead of just trying to get through them to get a specific thing done. Because your whole point of

680
00:45:17.760 --> 00:45:25.040
life is enjoying you and God at any given moment. And bringing that love of you and God together,

681
00:45:25.040 --> 00:45:32.720
allowing that when you and the Lord are enjoying your co love together, it will, it will, it will

682
00:45:32.720 --> 00:45:40.320
be the active ingredient in doing your Christmas shopping, or in your setting or whatever, that

683
00:45:40.320 --> 00:45:46.000
will allow you to have a good experience that will allow you to admit when you have a good experience,

684
00:45:46.000 --> 00:45:50.640
you'll get through it faster, you'll learn faster, it won't be as much of a drudgery or whatever,

685
00:45:50.640 --> 00:45:55.680
because you're not choosing that, for instance, the studying is like something outside of you

686
00:45:55.680 --> 00:46:01.360
that you have to do. It's like, no, this is me learning something that I want to learn,

687
00:46:02.000 --> 00:46:06.880
as opposed to something that I have to conquer, or something outside of me, that's a threat,

688
00:46:07.680 --> 00:46:11.120
you know, and I've got a I've got a, I've got to master it, and I have to learn it,

689
00:46:11.120 --> 00:46:15.680
and it's stronger and more powerful and more learned than I am. No, you are,

690
00:46:15.680 --> 00:46:21.520
and you're giving yourself an experience of getting to learn all of this stuff, as opposed to,

691
00:46:22.080 --> 00:46:29.280
I have to get this thing done. You know, you end up being the focus of everything. And I don't mean

692
00:46:29.280 --> 00:46:34.720
you instead of God, I mean, like, you know, God, and then you, God, making you who God told you

693
00:46:34.720 --> 00:46:39.200
that you are, and you choosing that if God said that this is who I am, and this is who I choose

694
00:46:39.200 --> 00:46:45.200
that I am taking that and making that more important than studying that more important

695
00:46:45.280 --> 00:46:52.800
than the exercise, the studying is serving you, the exercise is serving you, man, with

696
00:46:53.600 --> 00:47:00.240
Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. All of these things are ways in which

697
00:47:00.240 --> 00:47:07.600
you are allowing creation, studying Christmas list, the exercise, nutrition, to serve you to

698
00:47:07.600 --> 00:47:14.160
give you an inch to allow you to enjoy you to allow you to rule you to get to give your body

699
00:47:14.160 --> 00:47:18.080
and your soul the type of experience and environment that it needs that kind of thing.

700
00:47:18.720 --> 00:47:27.360
That that makes sense. Yeah, it does. Then I it does make a lot of sense. And I think I live it

701
00:47:27.360 --> 00:47:34.560
at times. And then I don't, because I get so focused. But I was wondering, then, if you see

702
00:47:34.560 --> 00:47:41.120
that, because when I was watching a TV series, the other day, I felt God said that I have something

703
00:47:41.120 --> 00:47:47.920
better for you. But then, do you do things like if you see that, because it's a TV series,

704
00:47:47.920 --> 00:47:55.120
and your phone is distracting you. And it is actually causing more stress, like, what do you

705
00:47:55.120 --> 00:48:02.960
do? Do you cut it out completely, those things that you see are hindering you from actually

706
00:48:02.960 --> 00:48:12.640
being with God, or being at peace? Because I think I'm kind of escaping because of the stress,

707
00:48:13.440 --> 00:48:21.520
I'm escaping into my phone. Yeah. And if I hadn't, maybe I would have spent time

708
00:48:22.480 --> 00:48:27.680
with God listening to him. And then I would be creating with him or

709
00:48:28.000 --> 00:48:37.920
living more, like you're saying, like ruling myself as a king. Yeah, but, but because I'm so

710
00:48:37.920 --> 00:48:49.200
stressed, I run into Yeah, for instance, for instance, yeah, I Yeah, I am. Yes, you're right.

711
00:48:49.360 --> 00:48:58.080
Yes, you're right. Is that is is an escape? Now? That doesn't mean generally speaking, yes,

712
00:48:58.080 --> 00:49:05.040
we want to cut out any of any things that are that are causing major distractions. There's nothing

713
00:49:05.040 --> 00:49:08.880
wrong with watching television shows. There's even nothing wrong with binge watching television

714
00:49:08.880 --> 00:49:18.720
shows. But what are why are you doing it? That's something to like, be very aware of and to realize,

715
00:49:18.720 --> 00:49:24.480
okay, is this actually just distraction? And if so, and am I doing this because I'm trying to

716
00:49:24.480 --> 00:49:29.280
escape, then it lets you know, okay, something's wrong somewhere else. So say, for instance,

717
00:49:29.280 --> 00:49:37.280
if you spend 10 hours of your day working and studying, you know, and I don't know, maybe even

718
00:49:37.280 --> 00:49:40.640
doing something else. I don't know if it's exercise, or if it's cooking meals, or if it's

719
00:49:40.640 --> 00:49:45.040
whatever, you're spending the majority of your day doing something else. And then obviously,

720
00:49:45.600 --> 00:49:51.360
what are you going to do for the other four hours or two hours or however many hours that you have

721
00:49:51.360 --> 00:49:57.120
left? Well, if you're not enjoying the 10, and you're just getting through them,

722
00:49:57.680 --> 00:49:59.760
then you're not enjoying the majority of your life.

723
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.980
And you're getting through them in order to enjoy the two or the four, but then because

724
00:50:05.980 --> 00:50:14.000
you're so overwhelmed and anxious from all of these, then you just want to, you want,

725
00:50:14.000 --> 00:50:19.060
you want something that doesn't require anything of you.

726
00:50:19.060 --> 00:50:24.600
So you want to escape, you want to be fed, you want to be entertained so that you don't

727
00:50:24.600 --> 00:50:26.200
have to do anything.

728
00:50:26.200 --> 00:50:32.840
So one of the things that I've noticed is that I historically have loved to read, but

729
00:50:32.840 --> 00:50:37.200
I haven't been reading very much the past, I don't know, several years.

730
00:50:37.200 --> 00:50:41.120
And probably putting it mildly, it's probably been many, many, many years, but generally

731
00:50:41.120 --> 00:50:48.240
I love reading, but what I find myself doing is watching television shows instead.

732
00:50:48.240 --> 00:50:50.740
And what I really, and I thought, why?

733
00:50:50.740 --> 00:50:51.740
Because I enjoy reading.

734
00:50:51.740 --> 00:50:53.960
In fact, I probably enjoy reading more than I watched.

735
00:50:53.960 --> 00:50:58.240
I enjoy the quality of what I read more than I enjoy the television shows.

736
00:50:58.240 --> 00:50:59.600
Why am I doing this?

737
00:50:59.600 --> 00:51:06.440
And there's an aspect of how I'm approaching reading that I realized was detrimental to

738
00:51:06.440 --> 00:51:07.440
me.

739
00:51:07.440 --> 00:51:12.640
I was, I, the, the, the television shows are just, okay, I can just sit here and I'm just

740
00:51:12.640 --> 00:51:13.640
being spoonfed.

741
00:51:13.640 --> 00:51:19.360
I don't have to do anything or whatever, but the reading, even though I like reading more,

742
00:51:19.360 --> 00:51:21.920
in other words, I feel more enriched by it.

743
00:51:21.920 --> 00:51:25.520
I feel like I get stuff out of it or whatever.

744
00:51:25.520 --> 00:51:30.960
If I'm approaching it from this perspective of, I have to learn something, I have to get

745
00:51:30.960 --> 00:51:32.080
something out of it.

746
00:51:32.080 --> 00:51:37.080
I have to, whatever, then it feels like work that I'm, then it means that I don't allow

747
00:51:37.080 --> 00:51:40.840
myself to enjoy something that I actually truly enjoy.

748
00:51:40.840 --> 00:51:44.380
And it means that I'm approaching it from the wrong perspective and I need to change

749
00:51:44.380 --> 00:51:46.960
the perspective from which I approach it.

750
00:51:46.960 --> 00:51:52.400
So my point is that if you would want to replace the things that you feel you're being

751
00:51:52.400 --> 00:52:00.320
distracted by, but nothing else sounds good because it sounds like work.

752
00:52:00.320 --> 00:52:07.640
It means that it's probably means that you're approaching something that you nor that from

753
00:52:07.640 --> 00:52:15.760
a works strive based mentality instead of from effortlessly allowing yourself to be

754
00:52:15.760 --> 00:52:19.160
and enjoy the thing you're pushing.

755
00:52:19.160 --> 00:52:21.240
I don't want to say that you're pushing too hard in a thing.

756
00:52:21.240 --> 00:52:25.240
It just means that you're, you're adding strife to it when you interact with it.

757
00:52:25.240 --> 00:52:29.920
Like say for instance, you're singing, if singing, if you're really good at it and you

758
00:52:29.920 --> 00:52:33.760
really enjoy it and all of that, and the, well, even if you're not good at it, which

759
00:52:33.760 --> 00:52:37.360
I know you are, but I mean, like I'm trying to talk in principles here.

760
00:52:37.360 --> 00:52:45.960
If you enjoy something, but you find yourself not wanting to, um, but, but if you, if you

761
00:52:45.960 --> 00:52:52.720
keep trying, if you, if you interact with it by working hard for it, meaning like you're

762
00:52:52.720 --> 00:52:58.640
adding strife, I don't mean like all things require us to, you know, put a bit of, uh,

763
00:52:58.640 --> 00:52:59.640
you know, effort in.

764
00:52:59.640 --> 00:53:02.240
But what I'm talking about is striving versus resting.

765
00:53:02.240 --> 00:53:05.360
If you're striving in it, well, then it starts to kill the thing.

766
00:53:05.360 --> 00:53:06.960
It starts to put death in it.

767
00:53:06.960 --> 00:53:11.640
That's why a lot of people don't want to do their hobbies for living because they think

768
00:53:11.640 --> 00:53:15.840
they wouldn't enjoy it anymore in the whole point, but other people do their hobbies for

769
00:53:15.840 --> 00:53:17.800
living and love it.

770
00:53:17.800 --> 00:53:18.800
Why?

771
00:53:18.800 --> 00:53:22.140
Because they're approaching these people are approaching it from two different perspectives.

772
00:53:22.140 --> 00:53:28.080
The one who can do their hobby for a living and enjoy it is because they don't add strife

773
00:53:28.080 --> 00:53:29.080
to it.

774
00:53:29.080 --> 00:53:34.320
But the other person takes something that they can approach at rest in, in as a hobby.

775
00:53:34.320 --> 00:53:39.720
But when they make it work, well, then they, they, they can only interact with it by striving.

776
00:53:39.720 --> 00:53:43.640
So what I would recommend is, and that's what I realized, like for instance, with me reading

777
00:53:43.640 --> 00:53:47.040
books is just like, okay, the problem isn't the books.

778
00:53:47.040 --> 00:53:52.040
The problem is how I'm approaching the books and I need to change that.

779
00:53:52.040 --> 00:53:53.400
And so it's the same.

780
00:53:53.400 --> 00:53:58.840
And so anyway, there's that, but so I would recommend, you know, taking distraction, things

781
00:53:58.840 --> 00:54:02.960
that you think are currently distracting and exchanging them for other things that are

782
00:54:02.960 --> 00:54:09.320
more investing in you that you really enjoy that allow you in who it is that God created

783
00:54:09.320 --> 00:54:15.960
you to be, to actually get to express yourself, but make sure to do it, enjoying yourself

784
00:54:15.960 --> 00:54:23.480
in rest, not striving in it and trying to just, you know, not adding strife to it.

785
00:54:23.480 --> 00:54:24.480
So there's that.

786
00:54:24.480 --> 00:54:27.480
But the other thing I wanted to mention is, you know, what I talked about earlier, you're

787
00:54:27.480 --> 00:54:33.000
working for like, you're doing all of this stuff, but like 10 hours a day, just to be

788
00:54:33.000 --> 00:54:38.040
able to have this, if you're trying to escape, wouldn't you rather be able to change all

789
00:54:38.040 --> 00:54:43.800
of this into something you, into enjoying the 10 hours of your day, instead of hating

790
00:54:43.800 --> 00:54:46.960
the 10 hours of your day and just getting through it.

791
00:54:46.960 --> 00:54:51.640
So if you want to keep those particular things that you're doing in your life, learn to appreciate

792
00:54:51.640 --> 00:54:53.600
them, learn to enjoy them.

793
00:54:53.600 --> 00:54:58.280
And by doing that is the thing itself may not be very fun, but there's a reason why

794
00:54:58.280 --> 00:54:59.640
you're doing it.

795
00:54:59.640 --> 00:55:00.000
You're wanting.

796
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.320
you choose that it start taking it from the top down of like, no, who am I?

797
00:55:05.520 --> 00:55:07.400
Who does God, who has God made me to be?

798
00:55:07.600 --> 00:55:10.880
And how can I be that in studying?

799
00:55:11.080 --> 00:55:16.040
How can I be that in, you know, in in teaching?

800
00:55:16.240 --> 00:55:21.000
And again, you're choosing that you are more important than the studying.

801
00:55:21.200 --> 00:55:23.240
You are more important than your job.

802
00:55:23.440 --> 00:55:26.120
You are more important than your teaching,

803
00:55:26.120 --> 00:55:32.960
meaning like you are giving you and you are bringing you to the.

804
00:55:34.120 --> 00:55:38.320
To the event, like to the studying, you're bringing you to it, you're like, OK,

805
00:55:38.520 --> 00:55:41.360
this is not this book, it's not more important than me,

806
00:55:41.560 --> 00:55:46.400
this studying is not important than me, this this this test,

807
00:55:46.600 --> 00:55:50.240
this knowledge of like the Chinese language is not more important to me.

808
00:55:50.440 --> 00:55:51.800
I am more important.

809
00:55:52.000 --> 00:55:54.040
This is what I want to do for me.

810
00:55:54.040 --> 00:55:57.080
So enjoy it like, OK, this is fun.

811
00:55:57.080 --> 00:56:00.160
There's a reason why I picked it is because this is what I want.

812
00:56:00.360 --> 00:56:04.040
Focus on on the fact that this is your

813
00:56:04.240 --> 00:56:08.880
choice, that you're doing for you, not something you're forcing on yourself

814
00:56:09.080 --> 00:56:12.640
to get through. And the same thing with like with teaching.

815
00:56:12.840 --> 00:56:16.360
You are giving yourself to those students.

816
00:56:16.560 --> 00:56:18.720
You are putting yourself in a situation

817
00:56:18.720 --> 00:56:26.240
to affect and to influence and to pour life into them, as opposed to this is a job

818
00:56:26.440 --> 00:56:29.480
that I obligated myself to and I have to show up.

819
00:56:29.680 --> 00:56:32.120
You approach it from a totally different perspective.

820
00:56:32.320 --> 00:56:33.400
Like, no, this is my choice.

821
00:56:33.600 --> 00:56:37.880
This is what I chose to give my life, not was obligated to me.

822
00:56:38.080 --> 00:56:39.680
This is what I chose to give my life.

823
00:56:39.880 --> 00:56:41.200
Do I have to earn money?

824
00:56:41.400 --> 00:56:42.840
No.

825
00:56:43.040 --> 00:56:45.120
The reason I chose to do this is because I

826
00:56:45.120 --> 00:56:48.200
didn't want to, you know, not have have money.

827
00:56:48.400 --> 00:56:53.480
Well, OK, then it's your choice that this is money that you want to give to yourself.

828
00:56:53.680 --> 00:56:56.600
So this is the type of job that you chose

829
00:56:56.800 --> 00:57:01.760
for yourself that you are going to put yourself into so that you could give

830
00:57:01.960 --> 00:57:04.840
yourself something. This is all about you.

831
00:57:05.040 --> 00:57:06.720
I don't mean a selfish way.

832
00:57:06.920 --> 00:57:08.920
I mean, in a godly way, this is all about you.

833
00:57:09.120 --> 00:57:13.840
This is not all of these things in our life that are being forced on us.

834
00:57:14.000 --> 00:57:17.880
We just have to we just have to do, you know, oh, my word, why was I put into a

835
00:57:18.080 --> 00:57:22.200
world in which all the principles work like this, where in order to get anything

836
00:57:22.400 --> 00:57:25.000
done, you have to have money or in order to know.

837
00:57:25.200 --> 00:57:27.000
It's like, do you have to follow the rules?

838
00:57:27.200 --> 00:57:27.920
No.

839
00:57:28.120 --> 00:57:32.080
But if you want those benefits for your life, if you want to if you want to have

840
00:57:32.280 --> 00:57:34.680
that type of experience, then you make the choice.

841
00:57:34.680 --> 00:57:36.400
This is the experience I'm giving me.

842
00:57:36.600 --> 00:57:37.760
This is my choice.

843
00:57:37.760 --> 00:57:39.120
This is what I want for me.

844
00:57:39.320 --> 00:57:42.840
This is what I'm giving to me as opposed to this is what's being forced on me.

845
00:57:43.040 --> 00:57:44.960
Totally different approach and will help

846
00:57:45.160 --> 00:57:50.240
you enjoy the 10 hours of your day as opposed to enduring it or hating it or

847
00:57:50.440 --> 00:57:54.880
whatever. Anyway, what are your thoughts?

848
00:57:55.880 --> 00:57:59.000
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

849
00:57:59.200 --> 00:58:02.840
There's a big major life.

850
00:58:03.680 --> 00:58:07.800
Life approach shift of life.

851
00:58:07.800 --> 00:58:11.160
What do you choose is most important to you in your life and how are you going to

852
00:58:11.160 --> 00:58:14.120
approach it? Do you approach it from the fact that you and God are the most

853
00:58:14.320 --> 00:58:18.320
important thing and you're going to always live life in the perspective of you

854
00:58:18.520 --> 00:58:22.000
and God doing something, choosing things,

855
00:58:22.200 --> 00:58:26.320
you know, giving yourself particular experiences, pouring, you know,

856
00:58:26.520 --> 00:58:32.360
giving life to specific things, or is it always what do I want to happen

857
00:58:32.560 --> 00:58:37.520
and what levers and buttons do I need to pull and push to get that thing to happen?

858
00:58:37.720 --> 00:58:41.640
Then we feel driven by things outside of our

859
00:58:41.840 --> 00:58:43.080
outside of our choice.

860
00:58:43.280 --> 00:58:47.600
I think I have done this a lot and that's.

861
00:58:47.800 --> 00:58:55.720
Why this is helpful, and I like I more than a lot of other people have just.

862
00:58:55.920 --> 00:58:59.560
The end up with dead roads in so many

863
00:58:59.760 --> 00:59:07.200
areas, like I believe I am a gifted singer, but I I'm but I never say I sing

864
00:59:07.280 --> 00:59:11.400
very little just for I used to sing a lot when I was little just for fun.

865
00:59:11.600 --> 00:59:17.800
But then because I was trained as a singer and I used to perform a lot.

866
00:59:18.000 --> 00:59:22.320
It's just become performance driven, even I was going to say

867
00:59:22.520 --> 00:59:26.680
training, if we're not careful, can start to take the joy out of things.

868
00:59:26.880 --> 00:59:28.960
It's happened with writing also the same

869
00:59:29.160 --> 00:59:32.280
like I used to write poems, write for fun, write stories.

870
00:59:32.480 --> 00:59:34.720
Never. Now I just do it because I'm supposed

871
00:59:34.720 --> 00:59:39.240
to or if I'm blogging or it's an important theme or something, I want to feel like I

872
00:59:39.440 --> 00:59:45.480
should say the same with Chinese started with something fun, just a hobby.

873
00:59:45.680 --> 00:59:49.840
Then I did a bachelor in Chinese and then it became so.

874
00:59:50.040 --> 00:59:53.400
Stressful and memorizing all the characters,

875
00:59:53.600 --> 00:59:59.960
so and the workout like I used to enjoy running and now I used to enjoy dancing.

876
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.680
And now it's, excuse me.

877
01:00:04.680 --> 01:00:07.680
So in so many areas,

878
01:00:07.680 --> 01:00:10.240
I used to even enjoy buying gifts for people.

879
01:00:10.240 --> 01:00:14.280
And now I just see that thing I have to do.

880
01:00:14.280 --> 01:00:15.120
Correct.

881
01:00:15.120 --> 01:00:18.000
So I realized also when we're talking about it

882
01:00:18.000 --> 01:00:20.960
that I'm really deep into forcing myself

883
01:00:20.960 --> 01:00:24.320
and that's what I want to go through.

884
01:00:24.320 --> 01:00:26.680
Yeah, so it's important to make it,

885
01:00:26.680 --> 01:00:28.920
so these changes that I'm talking about,

886
01:00:28.920 --> 01:00:31.720
like changing from the experience

887
01:00:31.720 --> 01:00:33.960
that you're currently having in life

888
01:00:33.960 --> 01:00:36.080
and all these different areas,

889
01:00:36.080 --> 01:00:39.720
changing from that to what it is that I'm talking about

890
01:00:39.720 --> 01:00:41.680
won't just happen.

891
01:00:41.680 --> 01:00:44.480
It does have to be an intentional decision

892
01:00:44.480 --> 01:00:48.640
that you make of like, this is what I now value.

893
01:00:48.640 --> 01:00:53.160
And I'm choosing that this is what's important to me

894
01:00:53.160 --> 01:00:54.680
and this is now the approach

895
01:00:54.680 --> 01:00:56.960
that I'm gonna have to all of these things.

896
01:00:57.000 --> 01:01:01.320
So what that means though, is that we risk the outcome

897
01:01:01.320 --> 01:01:03.960
because the reason that you're pushing is you're like,

898
01:01:03.960 --> 01:01:05.680
I have a specific outcome

899
01:01:05.680 --> 01:01:06.880
and I think I've formulated

900
01:01:06.880 --> 01:01:08.560
how I can get that specific outcome

901
01:01:08.560 --> 01:01:10.400
either because my pastor told me that

902
01:01:10.400 --> 01:01:13.120
or the Chinese teacher told me that

903
01:01:13.120 --> 01:01:15.920
or my master's,

904
01:01:15.920 --> 01:01:17.920
because you're going through to get your master's, right?

905
01:01:17.920 --> 01:01:20.200
Your master's, whatever they call those people,

906
01:01:20.200 --> 01:01:22.680
advisor told me that, whatever.

907
01:01:22.680 --> 01:01:24.320
If you've got these specific outcomes,

908
01:01:24.360 --> 01:01:28.840
you have to choose, no, I am me

909
01:01:28.840 --> 01:01:33.200
and what God meant eternally for my existence

910
01:01:33.200 --> 01:01:35.360
is more important to me than this.

911
01:01:35.360 --> 01:01:38.320
And I'm going to risk the outcome of these.

912
01:01:38.320 --> 01:01:40.120
I don't know what's gonna happen with these.

913
01:01:40.120 --> 01:01:43.680
And I'm gonna choose to now approach all of these things,

914
01:01:43.680 --> 01:01:48.360
the master's in Chinese, the singing,

915
01:01:48.360 --> 01:01:51.480
the, I don't know, my health, whatever it is.

916
01:01:51.480 --> 01:01:55.800
I'm gonna now approach it from valuing me first,

917
01:01:55.800 --> 01:01:59.680
not what I accomplish and not what happens.

918
01:01:59.680 --> 01:02:04.240
And it has to be a willful and intentional decision

919
01:02:04.240 --> 01:02:07.520
that you make, that that's what you want.

920
01:02:07.520 --> 01:02:09.560
You have to choose that that's your new value.

921
01:02:09.560 --> 01:02:10.680
It won't just happen.

922
01:02:10.680 --> 01:02:11.520
You won't just suddenly

923
01:02:11.520 --> 01:02:14.080
just start wanting something different.

924
01:02:14.080 --> 01:02:17.640
We're too trained in wanting this other.

925
01:02:17.640 --> 01:02:19.680
We have to make an intentional choice

926
01:02:19.680 --> 01:02:21.520
to value something different

927
01:02:21.520 --> 01:02:24.320
and to risk these other things not happening

928
01:02:24.320 --> 01:02:27.440
by simply approaching how we do them,

929
01:02:27.440 --> 01:02:29.760
approaching from enjoying ourselves

930
01:02:29.760 --> 01:02:32.160
instead of accomplishing something.

931
01:02:32.160 --> 01:02:35.400
So then you go into all of this that you are.

932
01:02:35.400 --> 01:02:38.560
So then you go into all these different things.

933
01:02:38.560 --> 01:02:39.760
It could be my singing.

934
01:02:39.760 --> 01:02:41.280
It can be my studying.

935
01:02:41.280 --> 01:02:43.640
It's not a master's and not Chinese,

936
01:02:43.640 --> 01:02:46.160
but it's something else and my teaching.

937
01:02:46.160 --> 01:02:48.600
And then you just kind of like go

938
01:02:48.600 --> 01:02:50.240
into all these different areas

939
01:02:50.240 --> 01:02:55.240
and surrender your old ways of doing it and start.

940
01:02:55.520 --> 01:02:56.720
Yeah, the old approach.

941
01:02:56.720 --> 01:02:57.560
Yeah.

942
01:02:57.560 --> 01:02:58.400
Yeah.

943
01:02:58.400 --> 01:02:59.560
Choose that you're more important than any of these things.

944
01:02:59.560 --> 01:03:01.080
Could it be like deeper reasons

945
01:03:01.080 --> 01:03:03.280
why this happens in so many area?

946
01:03:04.560 --> 01:03:07.880
Or can you just start from where you're speaking right now,

947
01:03:07.880 --> 01:03:09.880
what you've been talking about?

948
01:03:09.880 --> 01:03:12.520
Do you have to do something about like the deeper issues

949
01:03:12.520 --> 01:03:14.680
of why you are driving yourself to death

950
01:03:14.680 --> 01:03:16.680
in all these kinds of areas?

951
01:03:16.680 --> 01:03:19.320
Or is it more like you can just start with,

952
01:03:19.320 --> 01:03:20.640
okay, let's handle Chinese.

953
01:03:20.640 --> 01:03:21.960
Let's handle singing.

954
01:03:21.960 --> 01:03:24.160
Let's handle the studying

955
01:03:24.160 --> 01:03:26.480
and surrender your old way of doing things.

956
01:03:26.480 --> 01:03:29.040
And like, how can I co-create with you

957
01:03:29.040 --> 01:03:32.840
in the areas of studying and enjoy life with you

958
01:03:32.840 --> 01:03:34.440
while studying?

959
01:03:34.440 --> 01:03:35.960
Can you just start there?

960
01:03:37.560 --> 01:03:39.760
Yeah, is that my question?

961
01:03:39.760 --> 01:03:40.680
I think so.

962
01:03:40.680 --> 01:03:43.040
In theory, yes, you can.

963
01:03:43.040 --> 01:03:46.480
Now, the reason I say in theory is just like everything,

964
01:03:47.280 --> 01:03:52.280
sometimes there's, you do things and,

965
01:03:52.720 --> 01:03:55.400
okay, like say, how do I fit this?

966
01:03:56.600 --> 01:04:00.080
There's reasons why we struggle to make the choice

967
01:04:00.080 --> 01:04:02.200
or to make the shift or whatever.

968
01:04:02.200 --> 01:04:06.200
So what I always recommend is that people try to,

969
01:04:06.200 --> 01:04:09.720
that people try to operate differently

970
01:04:09.720 --> 01:04:11.640
by making a different choice

971
01:04:11.640 --> 01:04:13.680
and making a different approach.

972
01:04:13.680 --> 01:04:17.880
If you find that you struggle with it,

973
01:04:17.880 --> 01:04:20.800
there might be steps that you need to take

974
01:04:20.800 --> 01:04:23.360
to gradually work up to that.

975
01:04:23.360 --> 01:04:25.640
That's why I do in certain areas.

976
01:04:25.640 --> 01:04:29.400
That's because it might be too big of a,

977
01:04:29.400 --> 01:04:34.040
there's probably so much background and baggage

978
01:04:34.040 --> 01:04:37.800
and emotional wounds or layers of beliefs

979
01:04:37.800 --> 01:04:39.840
or whatever in certain areas.

980
01:04:39.840 --> 01:04:42.600
So, but you don't know which areas those are in

981
01:04:42.600 --> 01:04:43.600
which areas that they're not.

982
01:04:43.600 --> 01:04:44.960
So I always recommend,

983
01:04:44.960 --> 01:04:47.360
hey, why don't you just do the shortcut first?

984
01:04:47.360 --> 01:04:49.360
Try that one first and whichever one,

985
01:04:49.360 --> 01:04:51.880
whichever areas that it's not working in,

986
01:04:51.880 --> 01:04:54.160
you and the Lord will just dig deeper on

987
01:04:54.160 --> 01:04:56.080
and you'll take you through some steps of like,

988
01:04:56.080 --> 01:04:58.120
okay, well then let's just start,

989
01:04:58.120 --> 01:04:59.960
instead of leaping, let's just take.

990
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.000
one rung of the ladder at a time, you know, and that's where, for instance, that's why I give

991
01:05:06.000 --> 01:05:11.280
people those tools for rest and shifting into rest. It's because I tell them, all you have to do is

992
01:05:11.280 --> 01:05:16.560
choose. All you have to do is choose and everything will change. But people have a very difficult time

993
01:05:16.560 --> 01:05:21.840
making that leap in specifically in certain areas. In certain areas, for instance, you were able to

994
01:05:21.840 --> 01:05:28.480
just make a choice and boom, you shifted. But in other areas, it didn't work, right? And it's not

995
01:05:28.480 --> 01:05:35.280
that it doesn't work. It's that you couldn't do it. You've got too many, you've got, we have a

996
01:05:35.280 --> 01:05:41.520
humanity, meaning like a flesh, the corrupted flesh, not, you know, good things that God created,

997
01:05:41.520 --> 01:05:47.200
but a flesh that's subject to corruption. We have things that have to be overcome.

998
01:05:47.920 --> 01:05:54.000
Even Jesus had to overcome it. And Jesus didn't overcome things overnight. He did live 33 years.

999
01:05:54.560 --> 01:06:01.360
So things were done during that time, especially from 12 to eight to 30 years old

1000
01:06:02.480 --> 01:06:08.880
is when God spiritually was putting him through a major pressure vice. And, and that was following

1001
01:06:08.880 --> 01:06:13.920
along. And we know that because that follows along with the, or we suspect that follow,

1002
01:06:13.920 --> 01:06:21.280
because that follows along with how the Jews physically did apprenticeships is when the son

1003
01:06:21.280 --> 01:06:25.760
is 12, but then he's apprenticed to his father and he works for his father for 18 years until

1004
01:06:25.760 --> 01:06:31.440
he's 30. And then his father at 30 will then present his son to his vendors and to his

1005
01:06:31.440 --> 01:06:36.560
clients and say, Hey, if you enter, this is my son in whom I'm well-pleased. If you interact

1006
01:06:36.560 --> 01:06:42.640
with my son in business is the same as if you've interacted with me, I'm tying our relationship to

1007
01:06:42.640 --> 01:06:47.440
him. But those 18 years were a solid apprenticeship. I mean, none of us have any

1008
01:06:47.440 --> 01:06:52.240
apprenticeships these days, but last 18 years, right. But the Jews did. And so that's why we

1009
01:06:52.240 --> 01:06:57.920
suspect that, that spiritually God's relationship with, with Jesus and in developing that father

1010
01:06:57.920 --> 01:07:04.640
son spiritual relationship was being developed between 12 and 18. Specifically also, I mean,

1011
01:07:04.640 --> 01:07:09.520
as opposed to like other years, we also know that from the fact that there's nothing said between

1012
01:07:09.520 --> 01:07:16.560
12 and eight and 30 years, except for that verse that said he grew in stature and in favor with

1013
01:07:16.560 --> 01:07:24.400
God and man. And so again, that it was almost like this hidden time where Jesus was in, in the

1014
01:07:24.400 --> 01:07:29.280
father, we're developing things, developing relationships and whatever. So even Jesus

1015
01:07:29.280 --> 01:07:35.440
learned things by the things he's learned obedience by the things he's suffered. It's,

1016
01:07:35.440 --> 01:07:41.280
it's a, it's a process, right? So there's nothing wrong with us taking a, taking a process. We don't

1017
01:07:41.280 --> 01:07:47.200
know why, again, why are some people healed immediately? And some people here are gradually

1018
01:07:47.200 --> 01:07:52.080
every time. Why are some people here have more healed miraculously and other people

1019
01:07:52.080 --> 01:07:58.720
are healed by the Lord that they, God uses, God uses doctors and he uses chemotherapy and he uses

1020
01:07:58.720 --> 01:08:03.120
all of this other stuff. Why does he use tools with some people and other people? He doesn't,

1021
01:08:03.120 --> 01:08:09.920
we don't know. So, but whatever it is, we don't want to judge God because he has a variety of ways

1022
01:08:09.920 --> 01:08:15.840
of accomplishing the same thing. So it's the same thing with this in theory. Absolutely. Boom.

1023
01:08:16.880 --> 01:08:22.640
All God says that, that we have to do is have faith in him. That is repeated multiple times

1024
01:08:22.640 --> 01:08:27.920
throughout scripture that that is all that we need. What we struggle with is if that's all

1025
01:08:27.920 --> 01:08:34.399
that we need, why, why does it not always work? Well, it always works, but there's so much of

1026
01:08:34.399 --> 01:08:40.640
our flesh that has to be overcome that not every area. Are we just able to do that? We need help.

1027
01:08:40.640 --> 01:08:45.840
Sometimes we have to go, we have to grow from one to two to three to four to five,

1028
01:08:45.840 --> 01:08:52.800
and there's nothing wrong with having a, having a process. There's nothing wrong with being one age

1029
01:08:52.800 --> 01:08:56.319
and then learning a bit more and then you're the next stage and then learning a little bit more

1030
01:08:56.319 --> 01:09:02.720
and you're in the next stage. God, God's baked process stages, seasons, phases into life. So

1031
01:09:02.720 --> 01:09:08.800
apparently they're not wrong. Um, but I recommend that you just try and, and, and just choose very

1032
01:09:08.800 --> 01:09:14.960
simplistic things. Um, like who does God say that he is? And to what degree does he say that he's

1033
01:09:14.960 --> 01:09:21.200
that? And then who does he say I am? And what degree does he say is that, and how, and to what

1034
01:09:21.200 --> 01:09:28.160
degree can I choose that that's true in reality? Like, not like just, Oh, well, I know I should.

1035
01:09:28.240 --> 01:09:34.080
No, no, no. How much of it to what degree can you choose? And to that degree, start acting like it,

1036
01:09:34.720 --> 01:09:41.120
making choices based off of your new choice of belief, your new choice of what you value. The

1037
01:09:41.120 --> 01:09:47.439
new thing that you've decided is your reality. And then act like that, but only do it to the

1038
01:09:47.439 --> 01:09:53.520
degree that you can. If you, if God says he's this, that he's protects you this much, but you

1039
01:09:53.520 --> 01:09:59.840
can only believe this much, but Hey, it's more than you believing in this much, take whatever you can and

1040
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.360
act on that. And then that creates another foundation for you to then increase it more

1041
01:10:04.360 --> 01:10:08.520
later and then for you to increase it more later. Right? So that's all that you're doing

1042
01:10:08.520 --> 01:10:12.600
in all of these areas where you're like, Hey, you know, is there, can you just, is it as

1043
01:10:12.600 --> 01:10:18.000
simple as just choosing versus like having stair steps? The stair steps are just, are,

1044
01:10:18.000 --> 01:10:22.440
are just like, okay, if you can't have all of the faith right now, to what degree can

1045
01:10:22.440 --> 01:10:26.440
you believe? And then God gets excited that that, about the fact that you've believed

1046
01:10:26.440 --> 01:10:31.120
in that match, he doesn't condemn you or judge you for the amount that you're not believing

1047
01:10:31.120 --> 01:10:36.960
him yet. He's just excited that you believe in this match. Because again, God doesn't

1048
01:10:36.960 --> 01:10:43.440
say that development and process is sinful. It's just part of it. He's like, it's okay.

1049
01:10:43.440 --> 01:10:48.000
He said, even my son went through process and I wouldn't put my son through sin. So,

1050
01:10:48.000 --> 01:10:51.960
you know, meaning like, you know, of course you just took our sins on us, but you know

1051
01:10:51.960 --> 01:11:00.120
what I mean? Jesus himself didn't sin. And so anyway, don't I, that that's what I would

1052
01:11:00.120 --> 01:11:05.240
recommend. That's what I do for me is whatever I can believe God and I do. And then the rest

1053
01:11:05.240 --> 01:11:09.120
of it, I'm just like, okay, Lord, I can't believe you that much in this particular area.

1054
01:11:09.120 --> 01:11:16.880
I know that I should. I know that you say it, that I can't quite grasp that that's reality.

1055
01:11:16.880 --> 01:11:21.520
I can't, I don't quite understand it. I can't, you know, or whatever my struggle is. So I

1056
01:11:22.080 --> 01:11:25.920
do whatever it is that I can. And I believe him to that degree. And I start acting like

1057
01:11:25.920 --> 01:11:31.760
it now make major. And just as that little bit, we'll, we'll start creating major changes. It'll

1058
01:11:31.760 --> 01:11:37.600
start driving and more opportunities to you that weren't currently available. It'll start

1059
01:11:37.600 --> 01:11:43.000
loosening things up because the more that we don't believe God, the more rigid our life is,

1060
01:11:43.000 --> 01:11:47.320
the more stifled that things are, the more overwhelmed that we are, the more everything

1061
01:11:47.320 --> 01:11:52.080
is just leading to death. It's just getting tighter and tighter. And there's less and less

1062
01:11:52.080 --> 01:11:58.280
movement, fewer and fewer opportunities, fewer and fewer things work out, et cetera. The more

1063
01:11:58.280 --> 01:12:05.000
that we allow things to move and we stop holding on to the fact that we have to have a specific

1064
01:12:05.000 --> 01:12:10.280
outcome or whatever, the more that God will move and bring in opportunities. We never even

1065
01:12:10.280 --> 01:12:14.760
thought were possible, but we have to be in rest in order for God to move. So that was something

1066
01:12:14.760 --> 01:12:20.200
that I wrote down. You were asking about you wanting eternal purpose and doing things that

1067
01:12:20.200 --> 01:12:25.600
like had a purpose for eternity. Understand that the, that the thing that brings an eternal

1068
01:12:25.600 --> 01:12:32.240
purpose into our early existence is by living by spirit, because your spirit is what is going to

1069
01:12:32.240 --> 01:12:39.040
bring heaven into earth. So you have to connect with and always be your spirit at any given

1070
01:12:39.040 --> 01:12:45.520
moment in order to be able to give life. So you can't be trying to have a specific earthly

1071
01:12:45.520 --> 01:12:52.400
existence, you know, and hope to have any kind of eternal purpose, because if we're just trying to

1072
01:12:52.400 --> 01:13:00.280
get an early experience, well, then our flesh will only can only ever bring death. It can't ever

1073
01:13:00.280 --> 01:13:06.600
bring life. The only thing that can bring life and anything that will affect eternity as to be

1074
01:13:06.600 --> 01:13:14.680
born first on the spirit. If it came from the spirit, it'll return back to spirit. And so that's

1075
01:13:14.680 --> 01:13:20.120
the way that we have eternal purpose on earth is life is basically we're not looking for you.

1076
01:13:21.160 --> 01:13:25.320
Your life is looking for your studying is looking for you, your body is looking for you.

1077
01:13:25.960 --> 01:13:33.000
And so you have to choose, you know what, instead of abandoning the throne of my spirit, I'm going

1078
01:13:33.000 --> 01:13:38.360
to be present on the throne of my spirit. So I'm not going to abandon myself, I'm not going to

1079
01:13:38.360 --> 01:13:43.960
abandon the parts of me that need me, I'm going to always be on the throne of my spirit. And so I'm

1080
01:13:43.960 --> 01:13:51.800
and, and that it and then if you live from that place, then anything that you do, will be of

1081
01:13:51.800 --> 01:13:57.320
eternal purpose. Anything that comes from your spirit will be of eternal purpose. You don't have

1082
01:13:57.320 --> 01:14:01.000
to be a missionary, you don't have to do anything spiritual, you don't have to life coach, you don't

1083
01:14:01.000 --> 01:14:07.640
have to help people. That's the only way that people in the world understand long-term impact

1084
01:14:08.680 --> 01:14:13.640
is, well, how many people, you know, have you life coached? Or, you know, have you, how many books

1085
01:14:13.640 --> 01:14:18.040
have you written to influence people's thoughts? Or maybe how many people's lives have you made

1086
01:14:18.040 --> 01:14:23.160
easier? I'm going to be whatever. That's the only thing they understand. That's a very worldly

1087
01:14:23.160 --> 01:14:29.640
perspective. God on the other hand is like, no, no, no, there's so much more that in so much more

1088
01:14:29.640 --> 01:14:36.360
fruit that needs to be seen in the world, then the world can even recognize and it can only come

1089
01:14:36.360 --> 01:14:41.720
if it's coming out of your spirit. That's why I talk about the fact that you needing to enjoy

1090
01:14:42.280 --> 01:14:47.000
all the things that you do. You enjoy your experiences, you enjoy doing your Christmas list,

1091
01:14:47.720 --> 01:14:52.120
going through your Christmas list, you enjoy whatever task it is that you have on your plate.

1092
01:14:52.120 --> 01:14:56.760
I do the same thing with dishes. And if I have to do dishes, I'm like, okay, let's enjoy this

1093
01:14:56.760 --> 01:14:59.880
experience, because I'm enjoying me. It's not a

1094
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.040
the dishes are just so much fun that I'm going to give myself over to it. It's that no, no, no,

1095
01:15:05.600 --> 01:15:11.120
this is me and something I am giving to me in my life. I am creating order. This is all about me.

1096
01:15:12.000 --> 01:15:17.440
It's not about the dishes. I mean, sure, there's an aspect of it in it that it's about the dishes

1097
01:15:17.440 --> 01:15:24.720
and the fact that I am offering life to creation, but it has to be sourced from me,

1098
01:15:25.600 --> 01:15:31.440
not me apart from God, me being connected to God's spirit, my spirit pouring life into

1099
01:15:31.440 --> 01:15:38.720
these things. But it's all, I have to be the starting point and the purpose of everything

1100
01:15:40.000 --> 01:15:46.320
that I'm doing, you know, the Christmas list, the dishes, cleaning, whatever it is that you

1101
01:15:46.320 --> 01:15:51.440
want to, or that whatever, whatever activities that you're doing, interacting with people,

1102
01:15:51.440 --> 01:15:57.200
et cetera. Um, and, um, so anyway, but when I say that you're the source of everything,

1103
01:15:57.200 --> 01:16:03.600
meaning like if the, your focus needs to be, um, that it's always, you're always from, um,

1104
01:16:06.240 --> 01:16:15.760
that you remember that you, that you have what is needed, that you are who God says that you are.

1105
01:16:15.760 --> 01:16:18.880
And you focus first on that and like, okay, if I am who God says that I am,

1106
01:16:19.520 --> 01:16:25.840
he said that I'm life giving, that I have life to give to others. They need, then I need to be me

1107
01:16:25.840 --> 01:16:31.040
in order to give them that life. If I abandoned me, I can't access me to give them that life.

1108
01:16:31.680 --> 01:16:37.040
I have to be in me fully present in me on the throne of my spirit in order to be able to give

1109
01:16:37.040 --> 01:16:43.600
it out. I can't abandon me in quote unquote, sacrifice selfless sacrifice for someone else.

1110
01:16:43.600 --> 01:16:47.200
You get, that's why one of the things, when I talk to moms about the fact that, you know,

1111
01:16:47.200 --> 01:16:50.880
that they keep abandoning themselves for their children, thinking that it's a good thing.

1112
01:16:50.880 --> 01:16:57.200
Their children need them. God gave them that woman's spirit to invest in them. But if the

1113
01:16:57.200 --> 01:17:02.720
woman keeps abandoning herself thinking that it's selfless, well, then they don't have what they

1114
01:17:02.720 --> 01:17:08.800
need. She has what they need. It's not something outside of her that she needs to find to give

1115
01:17:08.800 --> 01:17:13.840
them. It's herself. And it's very challenging for us to think in those terms because we're

1116
01:17:13.840 --> 01:17:19.360
so used to thinking that if we start any kind of a, of an approach from us that it's selfish

1117
01:17:19.920 --> 01:17:23.760
as if we think we're, we're all that we think that we're more important than anybody else.

1118
01:17:23.760 --> 01:17:29.520
No, no, no. That is the only way that you can actually sacrifice yourself for someone else

1119
01:17:29.520 --> 01:17:35.280
is if you have yourself to give, but if you've abandoned yourself, you don't, you don't have

1120
01:17:35.280 --> 01:17:40.640
access to yourself to give yourself anymore. So anyway, it's that towards like, not just

1121
01:17:40.640 --> 01:17:45.760
other people in relationships, but in your study or in the dishes and the cleaning it's,

1122
01:17:45.760 --> 01:17:50.560
you are important and you are, you are who God says that you are. You don't need to give anything

1123
01:17:50.560 --> 01:17:54.640
to yourself. You don't need anything. Cause God's doing all that for you. You already have it. So

1124
01:17:54.640 --> 01:18:01.360
now you're just pouring. You get to just enjoy the being of you. I'm I'm love. I'm joy. I'm peace.

1125
01:18:01.360 --> 01:18:06.880
I'm fully provided for I'm protected. I'm provided, you know, I'm safe. So from that place,

1126
01:18:06.880 --> 01:18:10.000
let's do dishes because this is the type of environment that I want to create.

1127
01:18:10.000 --> 01:18:15.840
Let's go to the grocery store. Let's get this accomplished. It's this is I'm doing these things

1128
01:18:15.840 --> 01:18:23.040
because I'm important. And, and because, and you're not bringing these things into submission,

1129
01:18:23.840 --> 01:18:28.480
you're pouring life into them so that they can, they get to be part of your, your home.

1130
01:18:28.480 --> 01:18:32.560
They get to be part of your life. They get to be part of your environment. They get to,

1131
01:18:32.560 --> 01:18:37.840
they get to, it's like having children get to participate with you. You know, like I say,

1132
01:18:37.840 --> 01:18:41.760
you're, you know, like your exercise or studying. It's like, it's like your child.

1133
01:18:42.560 --> 01:18:48.080
You're more, you're the parent. The studying is not your parent. This, this master's program or

1134
01:18:48.080 --> 01:18:54.480
whatever it is, that's not your parents. You are the parent. These things get to benefit you. You

1135
01:18:54.480 --> 01:18:59.680
get to decide now. Sure. You know, it, we, we feel very frustrated. Like I say, for instance,

1136
01:18:59.680 --> 01:19:04.720
if we interact with the system that it has to work a specific way. And like, say for instance,

1137
01:19:04.720 --> 01:19:07.440
you don't want to have to do all of the hours that it says you have to do.

1138
01:19:08.000 --> 01:19:14.480
And we don't like that. And we feel dictated to, we feel like, Oh, see, it's the system is the

1139
01:19:14.480 --> 01:19:20.320
parent. I have to do this. No, you don't. You are full control of whether or not you choose to do

1140
01:19:20.320 --> 01:19:27.120
that. You decide, okay, is this something that I want for me? If it is okay, then I will, I will

1141
01:19:27.120 --> 01:19:32.560
do those things. I am making an intentional choice that I will do all of those things.

1142
01:19:32.560 --> 01:19:37.440
That's what I'm being offered, but I don't have to do it. So if you always approach it from this

1143
01:19:37.440 --> 01:19:42.480
perspective, you own your life, you own your choices. This is something you're giving to you

1144
01:19:43.040 --> 01:19:48.880
as opposed to thinking that systems or like government or the way that the school system

1145
01:19:48.880 --> 01:19:54.000
works or your job or whatever, instead of thinking of it as the parent that is subjecting you.

1146
01:19:54.960 --> 01:19:59.920
To a specific way of life. Like, well, because my job is this way, it forces me to have.

1147
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.920
get up early. It forces me to, it's not doing any such thing. You're making the choice. No,

1148
01:20:05.920 --> 01:20:12.160
this is the, the, if I want my job to go a specific way, then I get up early. This is the

1149
01:20:12.160 --> 01:20:16.640
choice that I make for me, because this is the experience that I want to have. This is what I

1150
01:20:16.640 --> 01:20:21.520
want to do for me. Not I may need to do this because this is the system that I'm in. You know,

1151
01:20:22.640 --> 01:20:28.000
you are the parent, not the system. You are the parent, not physical principles. You are the

1152
01:20:28.000 --> 01:20:34.080
parent, not studying, not your body, nothing, everything else talking about a king and the

1153
01:20:34.080 --> 01:20:40.560
subjects, your spirit is always the parent. Everything else is looking to you and needs you.

1154
01:20:41.520 --> 01:20:46.000
So you're not subject to anything. You're not driven by anything. You're not, you're not being

1155
01:20:46.000 --> 01:20:57.520
mastered over by anything anyway. So good. Yeah. Okay. Well, before we go on and make sure that I

1156
01:20:57.520 --> 01:21:03.680
don't, um, I don't, I think I'll have to look back. I'll have to look at it again. Yeah. I think

1157
01:21:03.680 --> 01:21:10.080
I said everything though. I'll have to look at it again. Okay. Yeah. Well, good. Well, I'm glad it

1158
01:21:10.080 --> 01:21:18.480
was helpful before we jump off. Yes. Uh, one thing was more, uh, because I, I have been coaching

1159
01:21:18.480 --> 01:21:26.080
before and more like life coach, but more like hobby based, but now it was more like we talked

1160
01:21:26.080 --> 01:21:32.080
about it. I've been thinking about it. Maybe I can earn a bit of money on it. And then I know that

1161
01:21:32.080 --> 01:21:39.760
since the rest, uh, this thing teaching with you has transformed my life. I know that if I do,

1162
01:21:39.760 --> 01:21:46.480
I will be using a lot of the things that I learned from you. And then I, some of those,

1163
01:21:46.480 --> 01:21:50.400
and one of those that I might, I don't know if she'll, I'll be coaching her or not.

1164
01:21:50.960 --> 01:21:55.760
Then I, that's one of a couple of them. I said that maybe you could watch some of the videos

1165
01:21:55.840 --> 01:21:59.520
and I'll, I'll refer them to you. And I don't even know if I'll be their coach,

1166
01:21:59.520 --> 01:22:09.280
but I was kind of like wondering, is this right? Or is it okay by you? Uh, because like I'm stealing

1167
01:22:09.280 --> 01:22:14.240
it. You know what I mean? Oh, you know what I mean? Like, so, so I'll be coaching and I'll

1168
01:22:14.240 --> 01:22:19.520
earn a little bit of money and I'm actually teaching a lot of it. Like they might need

1169
01:22:19.520 --> 01:22:23.920
help with something else, but then if I show them a lot of the rest, they might want me to,

1170
01:22:24.720 --> 01:22:29.840
to coach me with that. And then I'm kind of like, well, is that okay? What do you think about it?

1171
01:22:29.840 --> 01:22:41.600
Is that like, um, uh, do you understand what I'm saying? Yes, I do. And I really appreciate asking.

1172
01:22:41.600 --> 01:22:50.640
It's very kind. Um, so in, in general, the idea is, you know, that this isn't my, um, uh, this

1173
01:22:50.640 --> 01:22:58.000
isn't my, the thing about the message about rest is from God, you know, it's, it's from our father

1174
01:22:58.000 --> 01:23:03.120
to all of us. It's just that we haven't been seeing it, you know, and the Lord seems to be

1175
01:23:03.120 --> 01:23:06.560
opening more and more people's eyes and spirits to understand, Oh my word, there's this whole

1176
01:23:06.560 --> 01:23:12.800
thing about rest that we do. And so that, that isn't, um, you know, that's not specific, you

1177
01:23:12.800 --> 01:23:17.200
know, to me, anybody can do that. That's just, it's like, it's the gospel, you know, it's free.

1178
01:23:17.200 --> 01:23:24.480
Right. And, um, the, the thing that I would appreciate is that there are certain things

1179
01:23:24.480 --> 01:23:31.360
like there are, um, it's not showing. So for instance, you asking about the teachings.

1180
01:23:31.360 --> 01:23:35.120
So I've already told you, you know, you're welcome to show, which I don't usually do,

1181
01:23:35.120 --> 01:23:38.240
but I would say, you know, you're welcome to show these specific people, you know,

1182
01:23:38.240 --> 01:23:44.160
those teachings and all of that. Um, I would, and so if these people, these people want to,

1183
01:23:44.160 --> 01:23:50.320
you know, hire you, you know, to teach them about stuff, then, um, then yeah, that, that would be,

1184
01:23:50.320 --> 01:23:53.840
that would be perfectly fine. I would ask that, you know, because I've already said, you know,

1185
01:23:53.840 --> 01:23:56.880
that that would be, that that would be funny if you showed him these, I would ask though,

1186
01:23:56.880 --> 01:24:05.200
that you not show future people, these videos, and then you basically using all of my teachings,

1187
01:24:06.240 --> 01:24:10.400
you know, but you know, your coaching. So, cause it's my teachings, you know, but you know,

1188
01:24:10.400 --> 01:24:13.760
for this, for this group of people, I've already told you that that was fine.

1189
01:24:13.760 --> 01:24:20.000
It's perfectly fine. And the one thing that I would, that I appreciate is, is if people,

1190
01:24:21.360 --> 01:24:25.200
okay, here's, here's what's bothered me. So I've had some people do what you're talking about,

1191
01:24:26.000 --> 01:24:33.680
where I don't think they should in my videos, but they, they teach what I teach and they use

1192
01:24:33.680 --> 01:24:38.080
the same examples. They use all the scripture versus like literally it's all the scripture

1193
01:24:38.080 --> 01:24:43.920
versus that I, they basically just did my teaching and they, and they sell it. And I'm like,

1194
01:24:44.800 --> 01:24:52.160
so I've had that happen. And where they use my examples, I've had them use my, like my activations,

1195
01:24:52.160 --> 01:24:59.680
like all of my, like, like, like practices, my tools, all of that. Those are things that.

1196
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:04.740
be honest. They, it hurt me because I was like, and I've

1197
01:25:04.740 --> 01:25:08.040
talked to my husband about it. I was like, you know, this thing

1198
01:25:08.040 --> 01:25:10.620
is the Lord's and it's not mine. And I don't want to seem

1199
01:25:10.620 --> 01:25:12.940
selfish with it. I said, but this hurts me. Why does this

1200
01:25:12.940 --> 01:25:17.140
hurt me? He said, Ashley, he said, it's because the things

1201
01:25:17.140 --> 01:25:20.640
that you taught them that were specifics, like really specific

1202
01:25:20.640 --> 01:25:23.820
things that help that are helpful for like practices or

1203
01:25:23.820 --> 01:25:29.700
whatever he said, and like the tools he said, and, and like, I

1204
01:25:29.700 --> 01:25:34.020
don't know, just the way that I teach or like stories that I

1205
01:25:34.020 --> 01:25:36.660
tell and all of that stuff. He said, I think that the reason it

1206
01:25:36.660 --> 01:25:42.300
hurts you is because that was your personal journey with the

1207
01:25:42.300 --> 01:25:46.460
Lord. And you're sharing all the personal things that you and God

1208
01:25:46.460 --> 01:25:49.940
walk through. And then other people are taking your personal

1209
01:25:49.940 --> 01:25:53.980
life and selling it. Yeah, well, that's probably why that hurt.

1210
01:25:54.780 --> 01:25:59.980
So anyway, so I am, if people own this between them and the

1211
01:25:59.980 --> 01:26:03.620
Lord, and this is their walk with the Lord that they are

1212
01:26:03.620 --> 01:26:07.540
sharing with other people, as opposed to, I've learned this

1213
01:26:07.540 --> 01:26:13.500
from someone else, I'm now repeating it to someone else and

1214
01:26:13.500 --> 01:26:18.940
getting money off of it. That is totally different. That's what

1215
01:26:18.940 --> 01:26:22.140
all of that other stuff was, if people are using all of my

1216
01:26:22.140 --> 01:26:25.500
stuff, as their way of teaching, it means they haven't

1217
01:26:25.500 --> 01:26:29.140
owned it. They can't think of their own words to use, they

1218
01:26:29.140 --> 01:26:31.820
can't think of their own, it's they don't have their own

1219
01:26:31.820 --> 01:26:36.140
experience with God to speak from their teaching, what worked

1220
01:26:36.180 --> 01:26:40.900
for what, what stuff they memorized, that I said, that

1221
01:26:40.900 --> 01:26:46.220
worked for me. So I would just I would say, I am perfectly fine

1222
01:26:46.220 --> 01:26:48.540
with you life coaching, you know, teaching about rest and

1223
01:26:48.540 --> 01:26:50.420
all that, that is something we're supposed to be sharing

1224
01:26:50.420 --> 01:26:54.020
with other people. But what I would ask is you speak out of

1225
01:26:54.020 --> 01:26:57.180
what it is you've owned, your personal relationship with the

1226
01:26:57.180 --> 01:27:01.300
Lord, what works, you know, with you, how the Lord talks to you,

1227
01:27:01.300 --> 01:27:04.980
how the Lord helped you, you know, your stories and, and, you

1228
01:27:04.980 --> 01:27:08.100
know, and all of that. So basically, it's teaching out as

1229
01:27:08.140 --> 01:27:10.900
because they've hired you as the life coach, they haven't hired

1230
01:27:10.900 --> 01:27:15.420
me. So there's something that you have that they want, you

1231
01:27:15.420 --> 01:27:20.820
can't give them me, you can't, they can't go to you, wanting

1232
01:27:20.820 --> 01:27:25.420
what you have, but you not feeling that it's enough. And

1233
01:27:25.420 --> 01:27:30.620
you, you giving them me instead. Yeah, you're the spirit, because

1234
01:27:30.620 --> 01:27:32.820
remember, it's all about the spirit. So that's what bothers

1235
01:27:32.820 --> 01:27:37.780
me is when people try to bypass their spirit, and try to use all

1236
01:27:37.780 --> 01:27:42.180
of the information that they got from me, and then try to like

1237
01:27:42.180 --> 01:27:46.020
sell that, because here's the thing, that was not information

1238
01:27:46.020 --> 01:27:50.260
to me. That was my spirit, all of those things that I speak all

1239
01:27:50.260 --> 01:27:53.820
of the the meaning, like all of those practices and the tools

1240
01:27:53.820 --> 01:27:58.540
and the whatever, that was literally what I lived out with

1241
01:27:58.540 --> 01:28:03.980
God alone. You know, that was revelation from the Lord to me

1242
01:28:04.100 --> 01:28:07.260
personally, individually, and I'm offering that to other

1243
01:28:07.260 --> 01:28:13.580
people. So but to other people, that's information, because they

1244
01:28:13.580 --> 01:28:17.380
didn't get that from God. They got that for me, I got it from

1245
01:28:17.380 --> 01:28:19.620
God, because that was just between me and God. That was how

1246
01:28:19.620 --> 01:28:23.900
he talked to me. And it helped other people get an idea. But

1247
01:28:23.940 --> 01:28:27.820
that doesn't help my stories and my practices and my tools that

1248
01:28:27.820 --> 01:28:31.780
helped me. Sure, if they operate in and it might help them as

1249
01:28:31.780 --> 01:28:34.700
well. But that's not what helped them connect with the Lord that

1250
01:28:34.700 --> 01:28:40.100
had to be specific between them and the Lord. Anyway, you just

1251
01:28:40.140 --> 01:28:46.180
know, anyway, and if you so I would say, you know, I greatly

1252
01:28:46.180 --> 01:28:48.940
appreciate you asking I am all for you life coaching and

1253
01:28:48.940 --> 01:28:51.500
teaching people for us. Like I said, we should be doing this,

1254
01:28:51.540 --> 01:28:54.620
we this should be something that we just do with each other. I

1255
01:28:54.620 --> 01:28:57.700
would just ask that you would teach it out of your spirit.

1256
01:28:57.860 --> 01:29:02.340
Yeah. And what your relationship with the Lord, your experience,

1257
01:29:02.500 --> 01:29:05.740
what he's walked you through what he's continually to walk

1258
01:29:05.740 --> 01:29:09.700
you through how you see it, what helps you understand it, how

1259
01:29:09.700 --> 01:29:12.820
you've connected with it. Because even when they get it

1260
01:29:12.820 --> 01:29:16.100
from you, they have to personalize it between them and

1261
01:29:16.100 --> 01:29:20.820
the Lord. They can't live off of your revelation. And that's what

1262
01:29:20.820 --> 01:29:24.020
people keep what some people have done, they've tried to pass

1263
01:29:24.020 --> 01:29:27.420
along my revelation. And thinking that that it's like

1264
01:29:27.420 --> 01:29:31.300
some magic that'll work. It's not it's spirit. It was meant to

1265
01:29:31.300 --> 01:29:35.380
come from me, you know, from the Lord to me. And then because

1266
01:29:35.380 --> 01:29:38.100
it's out of my spirit, it can impact the people that listen to

1267
01:29:38.100 --> 01:29:41.740
me, because you're listening to my spirit, that they now need to

1268
01:29:41.740 --> 01:29:45.300
listen to your spirit, or whatever. So does that does that

1269
01:29:45.300 --> 01:29:50.820
make sense? Yeah, it definitely does. Okay, yeah. The idea

1270
01:29:50.820 --> 01:29:55.500
itself, absolutely. But you have it has to be something not that

1271
01:29:55.500 --> 01:29:58.900
you believe is true, but that you live

1272
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.480
That's what I would recommend.

1273
01:30:03.480 --> 01:30:08.440
Teach what you live, not what you've learned.

1274
01:30:08.440 --> 01:30:10.440
Because if you've learned it, it's not spirit.

1275
01:30:10.440 --> 01:30:14.640
But if you live it, it's coming out of your spirit.

1276
01:30:14.640 --> 01:30:20.440
If you've learned it, it's still something that hasn't quite reached your spirit yet.

1277
01:30:20.440 --> 01:30:23.500
It's still something that you're trying to have faith in.

1278
01:30:23.500 --> 01:30:27.720
You and the Lord are building your faith in that area, but it's not personal between you

1279
01:30:27.720 --> 01:30:28.720
and the Lord yet.

1280
01:30:28.720 --> 01:30:34.720
It's just something you've heard about, but the things that you live, that's between you

1281
01:30:34.720 --> 01:30:35.720
and the Lord.

1282
01:30:35.720 --> 01:30:39.760
And that is for you to give.

1283
01:30:39.760 --> 01:30:41.160
Is all this making sense or not?

1284
01:30:41.160 --> 01:30:43.000
It makes a lot of sense.

1285
01:30:43.000 --> 01:30:44.000
Yeah.

1286
01:30:44.000 --> 01:30:45.000
Yeah.

1287
01:30:45.000 --> 01:30:46.000
Because, yeah.

1288
01:30:46.000 --> 01:30:50.440
Well, it took me a while to figure out how to explain it because I've been telling people

1289
01:30:50.440 --> 01:30:54.320
for years, oh, whatever I share, you can share with other people.

1290
01:30:54.320 --> 01:30:57.040
Well, it never occurred to me.

1291
01:30:57.040 --> 01:30:58.840
And I said, but you just need to own it.

1292
01:30:58.840 --> 01:31:06.200
But it never occurred to me that they, that these people would get so excited about something

1293
01:31:06.200 --> 01:31:11.680
new that they were discovering that, that they didn't own it enough for themselves to

1294
01:31:11.680 --> 01:31:15.600
be able to explain it to other people.

1295
01:31:15.600 --> 01:31:24.280
So all they had to go off of was just plagiarize, you know, or whatever it was like, oh, so

1296
01:31:25.240 --> 01:31:27.640
So anyway, I had some people who were like, oh, Ashley said, I can share this.

1297
01:31:27.640 --> 01:31:32.320
And so basically they just reteach my exact teaching.

1298
01:31:32.320 --> 01:31:34.400
I listened to one person's the other day, I was shocked.

1299
01:31:34.400 --> 01:31:39.480
I was like, wow, Ed, I said, those are, that was my teaching.

1300
01:31:39.480 --> 01:31:45.880
She just, she just like wrote all of these notes and then she said her words, but that

1301
01:31:45.880 --> 01:31:46.880
that's my order.

1302
01:31:46.880 --> 01:31:47.960
That's the order that I set it in.

1303
01:31:47.960 --> 01:31:50.880
That's the, that's all of the verses I use.

1304
01:31:50.880 --> 01:31:58.760
That's the, it's like, that's my teaching anyway, so, so I don't, so it's taken me a

1305
01:31:58.760 --> 01:32:01.960
while to figure out, well, so what's really going on here.

1306
01:32:01.960 --> 01:32:05.640
And if I feel that it's the Lord's and not mine, then why am I getting hurt?

1307
01:32:05.640 --> 01:32:12.160
And I realized it's because they're teaching my personal life with the Lord that what he

1308
01:32:12.160 --> 01:32:18.400
and I cried through and I got mad at him through, and I got hurt through and what I was healed

1309
01:32:18.400 --> 01:32:21.600
through and all of this stuff that was very personal.

1310
01:32:21.600 --> 01:32:27.120
And then they're trying to teach my life, not about rest.

1311
01:32:27.120 --> 01:32:28.120
Does that make sense?

1312
01:32:28.120 --> 01:32:29.120
Yeah.

1313
01:32:29.120 --> 01:32:30.120
Yeah.

1314
01:32:30.120 --> 01:32:31.120
Yeah.

1315
01:32:31.120 --> 01:32:32.120
Yeah.

1316
01:32:32.120 --> 01:32:33.120
They're kind of, yeah.

1317
01:32:33.120 --> 01:32:34.120
Yeah.

1318
01:32:34.120 --> 01:32:35.120
Teaching your story and your revelation.

1319
01:32:35.120 --> 01:32:36.120
Yeah.

1320
01:32:36.120 --> 01:32:37.120
Yeah.

1321
01:32:37.120 --> 01:32:40.560
So anyway, you just teach what you live with the Lord.

1322
01:32:40.560 --> 01:32:41.560
That's oh my word.

1323
01:32:41.560 --> 01:32:46.320
That's life changing what you have, you know, and we're all going deeper.

1324
01:32:46.320 --> 01:32:51.960
I'm going to burn, you know, learning more and whatever, so much more that I live out

1325
01:32:51.960 --> 01:32:55.600
now than I did three years ago when I started this so much more.

1326
01:32:55.600 --> 01:32:58.680
And so, but you just give what it is you have, you know?

1327
01:32:58.680 --> 01:33:05.400
And so, and it's enough that it is transforming for anybody who hears it though.

1328
01:33:05.400 --> 01:33:06.400
It's not a formula.

1329
01:33:06.400 --> 01:33:07.400
Correct.

1330
01:33:07.400 --> 01:33:08.400
It's not a formula.

1331
01:33:08.400 --> 01:33:09.400
Yeah.

1332
01:33:09.400 --> 01:33:10.400
Yeah.

1333
01:33:10.400 --> 01:33:11.400
Thanks for explaining.

1334
01:33:11.400 --> 01:33:12.400
Sure.

1335
01:33:12.400 --> 01:33:13.400
Sure.

1336
01:33:13.400 --> 01:33:14.400
And thanks for asking.

1337
01:33:14.400 --> 01:33:20.280
And like I said, this group of people though, I've already told you, you're welcome to watch

1338
01:33:20.280 --> 01:33:25.000
the, watch those sessions with them, you know, to introduce them to it.

1339
01:33:25.000 --> 01:33:27.840
And if they decide they want you to live kitchen, that it's perfectly fine.

1340
01:33:27.840 --> 01:33:30.120
So anyway, I hope that they enjoy it.

1341
01:33:30.120 --> 01:33:34.520
Let me know, by the way, you know, if, you know, if you want to, you know, what their,

1342
01:33:34.520 --> 01:33:37.560
what their thoughts were about everything, if they thought, oh my word, this is just

1343
01:33:37.560 --> 01:33:38.560
really cool.

1344
01:33:38.560 --> 01:33:39.560
Or if they're like, yeah.

1345
01:33:39.560 --> 01:33:40.560
And this is normal too.

1346
01:33:40.560 --> 01:33:41.560
So it's a different culture.

1347
01:33:41.560 --> 01:33:42.560
Correct.

1348
01:33:42.720 --> 01:33:43.720
Yeah.

1349
01:33:43.720 --> 01:33:44.720
Yeah.

1350
01:33:44.720 --> 01:33:51.240
And I, I don't know if I'll do it and I don't know if any one of them would want me to coach.

1351
01:33:51.240 --> 01:33:53.720
And I think they have lots of issues in their own life.

1352
01:33:53.720 --> 01:33:59.920
So I, so I'm wondering if they may be some of them or one of them, I think more wants

1353
01:33:59.920 --> 01:34:05.240
me to just like help her get more goals, like things that I've done before, you know, talk

1354
01:34:05.240 --> 01:34:09.520
about their life, how we're going to do with this, how do I reach a goal?

1355
01:34:09.520 --> 01:34:10.520
How do I think?

1356
01:34:10.520 --> 01:34:11.520
And yeah.

1357
01:34:11.760 --> 01:34:19.200
But then if I show her this, then maybe their questions, if I coach them will be a different.

1358
01:34:19.200 --> 01:34:20.200
Correct.

1359
01:34:20.200 --> 01:34:23.120
It would be answering the questions from a different approach.

1360
01:34:23.120 --> 01:34:28.400
And also I have already tried to tell them some of it in my own words, what God has done

1361
01:34:28.400 --> 01:34:31.280
in my life.

1362
01:34:31.280 --> 01:34:34.680
And I'm not sure I was just like, is it right to show the videos?

1363
01:34:34.680 --> 01:34:35.680
Is it not?

1364
01:34:35.680 --> 01:34:36.680
Like, and then, yeah.

1365
01:34:37.160 --> 01:34:43.880
But I also have pointed some of them to use to say, and told them that they can contact

1366
01:34:43.880 --> 01:34:44.880
you.

1367
01:34:44.880 --> 01:34:49.440
And I've told them some of them that you have various teaching on your site.

1368
01:34:49.440 --> 01:34:56.600
So yeah, I don't want to do anything that I don't have peace about, or that's not right.

1369
01:34:56.600 --> 01:34:57.600
Or yeah.

1370
01:34:57.600 --> 01:34:58.600
Yeah.

1371
01:34:58.600 --> 01:35:00.040
Well, that's really kind of you to answer that.

1372
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:05.840
I appreciate it. Other people haven't asked everyone. I've had like one or two other people

1373
01:35:05.840 --> 01:35:10.160
that I've asked before, but my point is like, some people haven't, it's like, Oh, but I mean,

1374
01:35:10.160 --> 01:35:14.720
I, I just don't know what people are understanding or even, you know, I don't know. It's just taken

1375
01:35:14.720 --> 01:35:18.080
me a while to kind of like figure all of it out. It's like, well, how does this work exactly? You

1376
01:35:18.080 --> 01:35:21.920
know, cause this is spiritual stuff. It's like, it's not that I own it, but I'm like, yeah,

1377
01:35:21.920 --> 01:35:27.280
but I don't want people to sell my story and my personal relationship with the Lord that was very,

1378
01:35:27.280 --> 01:35:34.080
very private. And then, and then they use that, that I feel it made me feel used a little bit,

1379
01:35:34.080 --> 01:35:38.080
though, like it wasn't like this thing that was very, very precious to me that happened to my

1380
01:35:38.080 --> 01:35:46.160
life is being sold. I was like, it's kind of made me feel kind of gross, but you're so thoughtful.

1381
01:35:46.160 --> 01:35:50.880
Thank you. So I hope that that made sense and that that was helpful and it was freeing. And yeah,

1382
01:35:50.960 --> 01:35:58.160
so yeah. Thank you so much. You're welcome. It's good to see you. And unless I hear from

1383
01:35:58.160 --> 01:36:02.800
you before Christmas, I feel really good Christmas. Yes. And we'll talk after Christmas,

1384
01:36:02.800 --> 01:36:09.840
like, or some in a few weeks or after Christmas. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That is. Yeah. That

1385
01:36:09.840 --> 01:36:15.920
sounds good. All right. Well, I hope you have a good night. Yes. You too. Bye.