All right, guys. I think we're in. I think we're on. I think we're live. Let me just
check here. Should be good to go. But good morning to you, if you're just joining us.
I think we should be all good. So we've got some people jumping on here, I'm sure. Awesome.
Okay, guys, good morning. Good morning and welcome to day three of the Raising Royalty
three-day Parenting Challenge. Wow, guys, this has been really special so far. This
has been really powerful. If you've been joining us, I hope you've been blessed. I hope you've
been encouraged. We've had some really positive feedback, some really powerful testimonies
already coming through, lots of messages, lots of, you know, stories of life change already,
and mindset shift, and yeah, people saying some really powerful encounters with God already,
you know, and that are already shifting things. So guys, again, this is the beginning of something
powerful. All right, this is the beginning of something that I believe is going to change the
world, and it's something I think that the Lord is revealing to you and I at this specific moment
in history, and that we get to be the ones to break this cycle of disconnection, and we get to
be the ones to partner with new operating systems in family and connection, and actually display
and reveal the expression of love of Jesus through family. All right, so it's a pretty big
deal. It's really special to be able to do this and journey alongside each one of you. If you're
jumping on with us now, just let us know where in the world you are. Just drop a little hi in the
comments, and we're going to jump in, guys. If you missed the last couple of days, we've been talking
about how to break the hidden cycle of disconnection and how to create a healthy culture of love and
acceptance in our families, right? So if you missed those, they're in the Parenting Guide in the Raising
Royalty page, so they're waiting for you there. If you missed them, feel free to catch up with us,
and today we're going to be talking about self-care and how to deal with our
own triggers and our own resentment. So put your hand up if you have ever felt triggered
as a parent. Mine's definitely up. If you're a parent,
you know what I'm talking about, right? So being triggered is actually pretty common
as a parent, and we're going to talk more about that today, but essentially what we're
going to be covering is how to move towards a place of healing and towards a place of
not being triggered, right? Is that even possible? Can we even do it? Yes, I believe it is possible,
right? There's a quote from Vienna Ferron that I really like, and she says,
healing happens when you're triggered and you're able to move through the pain and the pattern
and the story and walk your way to a different ending, okay? And I believe that that is
absolutely possible. I do, and we're going to talk about this this morning, but first I just want to
pause and we're just going to pray again and invite Holy Spirit into the space to lead us and open
our minds and our hearts, okay? So Holy Spirit, we just love you. God, we love you and we acknowledge
you and we thank you for what you're doing. God, we thank you that you are releasing something in
the earth at this strategic point in history that is going to change everything, God, and we thank
you that we get to be the ones to partner with it, Lord. We get to be the ones to say yes to family
and yes to connection and yes to wholeness in family. Yes, God. So, Lord, we just say, you know,
you are welcome. You're welcome to come in and change our minds and our hearts and do whatever
you want to do, right? So, God, we love you and we thank you and God, we just, yeah, we're just
excited for what you're going to do. Yeah, amen. Awesome, awesome. So, you know, so why are we
be talking about us this morning, right?
So, you know, I thought this was a parenting challenge.
Well, you know, it is a parenting challenge, right?
But it all starts with us because, you know,
we can only love someone as much as we love ourselves.
You know, well, that sounds selfish.
Well, you know, it's actually biblical, right?
So Mark 12 31 says,
love your neighbor as you love yourself.
In other words, you can't give something
that you don't have, right?
So like I could say, I'm gonna give you a million dollars,
but you know, as much as I would love to have
a million dollars, I don't have that to give away to you.
But you know, if you'd like to donate,
you're welcome to donate and then we'll see what happens.
But, you know, I can't give you something
that I don't have to give you, right?
So we're wanting to move towards a place
of offering unconditional love and acceptance to our kids.
But if we don't have unconditional love
and acceptance for ourselves,
it's gonna be really difficult to offer that to our kids
because we can't give something that we don't have, right?
So research has shown that who we are
is actually a much more accurate predictor
of who our kids will become
than our knowledge of parenting techniques, right?
So it all starts with us.
And the simple fact is that we all have emotional triggers
that cause us to disconnect, right?
And the reason for that is,
and we touched on this a little bit in the first session,
but you know, nobody had perfect parents.
So again, let's just take a deep breath.
It's okay not to be perfect.
Perfect parents don't exist, right?
You don't have to be a perfect parent to be a good parent.
Again, you just have to be willing to fight
for personal growth and emotional connection, okay?
So, but we also have to realize
that because our parents weren't perfect,
unfortunately it means that we didn't get everything
that we needed from them.
And because of that, you know, we all,
or at least the vast majority of us have wounds
and beliefs that are very deep inside
that are gonna sabotage our relationships with others
if we don't become aware of them and move towards healing.
You know?
So the last session, we're essentially talking
about how an inadequate relationship with God
and inadequate view of God
can sabotage our relationships with our kids.
But today we're talking about
how an inadequate relationship with ourselves
can sabotage our connections with our kids.
See, everything that we struggle with has a story to tell.
You know, the things that we struggle with in our adulthood
are symptoms of beliefs and emotional wounds
that were created inside of us in our childhood.
And there's something called attachment theory,
and this is a big deal,
but the psychologist who discovered attachment theories
named John Bowlby, and he described attachment theory
as a lasting psychological connectedness
between human beings.
And, you know, it's basically the process
in which kids learn how to adapt behaviorally
to stay connected to their parents.
See, you know, and this is key to the point
that we're gonna be making this morning.
A child's brain instinctually knows
that he or she cannot survive
apart from their caregivers, right?
So anything that threatens their connection
with their caregivers is the equivalent to their brain
as a lion that's about to eat them, you know?
And so you might be thinking,
oh, what does this have to do
with my emotional triggers and resentment?
Well, just stick with me.
We're gonna get to that.
It's all gonna make sense in the end.
We're going on a bit of a journey here together
this morning, okay?
And so the reason for that is because
our brains are wired for survival, okay?
So rooted in the lower limbic part of the brain,
it's that fight or flight primitive part of the brain.
There's a set of reflexes and instincts
that are there to keep us alive.
You know, it's the thing that causes us to duck
if something's flying at us,
or to jump if we're in a movie, you know?
Even though we know that nothing
is actually gonna jump out of the screen
and we know that we're safe,
it's the set of reflexes
that quite often are actually irrational, right?
And, you know, in the same way that our brains
are wired to automatically keep us alive physically,
our brains are also...
wired, you know, they also have a set of reflexes to keep us alive emotionally, so to speak.
And so scientific studies actually have proven that that lower limbic primitive part of the brain,
and this is, this is another key point, you know, it can't actually differentiate
between a real and a perceived threat. So just hang on to that, it's going to be key to what
we're talking about. You know, so basically, emotional disconnection from a caregiver is
literally terrifying to a child's inner psyche, research has shown. And so here's the thing.
Most of our parents were really good at shutting down any sign of defiance or persistence or anger
for most of us, right? And anger is basically the emotion that you feel when something is
getting in the way of what you want. So, you know, anger is an extremely important emotion,
because it's more related to our needs and desires than any other feeling.
Pretty interesting, right? So, you know, you might be, you know, it's, it's,
it just stick with me, we're on a journey, right? So kids are literally unable to process their
anger, and their deep wants and desires in a healthy and mature way, as most of us have
experienced. Right? You know, can you imagine one of your kids coming up to you and saying,
you know, mom or dad, I was really wanting to play with that toy. But Olivia took it off me.
And now, you know, I'm just feeling really dysregulated and upset and angry. And I'm
just wondering if we can strategize together on some possible solutions, you know, like,
no, you know, you're not, they're not going to say that they literally,
and they're literally a neurologically unable to communicate that way, because that part of
their brains has only just begun to develop. Right? So what happens when Olivia takes Jackson's toy
and has, you know, he has an outburst of anger. And I say to him, you know, what were you thinking?
You know, what kind of brother are you? What does this psyche learn? Right? It learns that
expressing what you want, is dangerous and bad, you know, do not do that. Because it equals
disconnection and disconnection equals danger. Right? And because our brains are wired for
survival, we learn from an early age, most of us, at least that asking for what we want
is bad and dangerous. So, you know, let's say that we're in the city, and Jackson starts having
a tantrum because he wants to go on the train. And this actually happened recently.
And I get angry with him, which luckily didn't happen. But you know, I get angry with him and
disconnect from him emotionally, what is his inner child, or his psyche learn? In that scenario,
it learns when I want things, it makes people upset. And so I'm only safe when I can want things
for other people, but not for me. Right? So what does this have to do with us this morning?
See, for most of us, our parents weren't taught this stuff. You know, so they did what they
thought was best. Right? Which was basically to meet anger with anger and put the fear of God
into you and squash any sign of defiance or rebellion. Right? And so now we have a lot of
us parents walking around with these wounds and triggers inside of us. And we don't know how to
ask for what we need or what we want, because we learned that it was our job to keep other people
happy and suppress what we want. Right? Which is actually just codependency, you know, which is a
dysfunctional form of relationship. So now, you know, I want you to pause for a moment. And I
want you to ask yourself, when do I get triggered the most as a parent, you know? And what I mean
by triggered is, you know, I'll just give you an example of something that that happens from time
to time with me and Jackson. Right? So I'll be talking to him, or I'll be asking him a question,
or I'll be asking him to do something. And he'll be doing something else, and he just won't respond
to me. Right? And he won't hear me. And when that has happened, I've just felt inside of me this like
intense
feeling of of anger you know and hurt and frustration and it's just really intense and um
you know and it's like you just take notice of that and you go oh my goodness wow that's a really
intense feeling that i'm feeling you know that that is probably a trigger okay so the things
that trigger us with our kids show us the parts of ourselves that were shut down in our childhood
you know see as i've processed my own wounds and triggers as an adult i've learned that my inner
child has a wound that feels ignored and unimportant and invisible right from my childhood
which is why when jackson is distracted and he doesn't respond to me right away i feel this
intense emotion being triggered inside of me um you know so when we feel these intense emotions
we just need to stop and realize that it's probably a trigger you know and it means that
there's a wound within our inner child that's saying hey i'm still here i'm still hurting
right um so our triggers are our teachers and um kids trigger us all day um so they're really
great teachers right and we love them and we wouldn't trade being parents for anything
but you know kids are an amazing tool that god uses to show us that we need healing aren't they
you know and where we need healing um you know so the you know the reason we get so triggered when
our kids disrespect us or they don't do what we ask them right away might be because it's triggering
a childhood wound inside of us that learned i'm not respected and i'm not important right um now
obviously we know with our conscious adult upstairs mature brain that that's not true
um but here's here's the thing kids kids are great at receiving information um but they're
really not great at interpreting that information and that's because the part of our brain that's
able to communicate and process information in a rational way has only just started to to develop
when we're little and in fact it doesn't actually fully develop until our mid-20s
right so it's the downstairs part of the brain that interprets information through the lens of
survival um you know so when our parents yelled at us or sent us away for expressing what we wanted
even though it wasn't communicated in a healthy way our brains didn't learn oh i should probably
communicate in a better way next time you know no it learned you need to stop that because if you
don't um you might be in danger um because disconnection is life-threatening to that
instinctual part of the brain um it's a pretty big deal right it's it's it's a lot to take in
um you know but here's the next thing to realize is is you know research shows that kids brains
will go to any length necessary to actually avoid making their caregivers or their parents
at fault for any wounding that's taking place even though it's all happening in a subconscious
level um you know because our caregivers are crucial to our survival so what do our brains do
our brains they actually make us the bad guy in a subconscious level because it's the only other
option right um so basically they go you know tyler you just you need to stop pretending
that you're important because when you express what you need or what you want
it pushes people away and that's not safe right um so that you know that's what most of our brains
at least learned is as kids because our brains are so plastic you know we talk about neuroplasticity
you know so those beliefs for most of us got stuck deep down in there and for a lot of us
are still operating underneath the surface um you know so all this is really just to raise awareness
to the fact that we probably have some things happening inside of us uh that we need to work
through in order to to be able to parent from a place of wholeness and overflow um you know so
how do we do that right okay so we're going to talk about some practical steps
to heal those places inside of us so we can stop disconnecting from our kids or our spouses
um you know when those inner wounds get triggered right um so the first step
to healing um is actually really simple and practical right so for the practical people
watching ah take a deep breath we've got some we've got some practical to do's coming all right
it's gonna be okay um so the first step to healing um is simple self-awareness right it's actually
really simple and practical.
We just need to become aware of it,
acknowledge our feelings and emotions
when we feel triggered, right?
To simply pause and go, okay, hold on.
This feeling that I'm feeling inside is actually bigger,
I think, than a normal negative emotion, right?
Like it's a really intense hurt, really intense anger.
You know, like when Jackson ignores me
and I feel this intense frustration, you know,
even though he's just playing with Play-Doh
and I can see that, I know that.
It's reasonable, right, for him to be distracted,
but I need to stop and acknowledge that feeling and go,
okay, there's something going on here.
I think this might be triggering something inside of me
that might need some healing, right?
The next step is actually just to name the emotion, right?
Ask yourself, what is this emotion that I'm feeling, right?
So for me, in that example with Jackson,
it's probably anger, it's frustration,
probably some hurt, right?
So, you know, what do I need to do?
Probably just to myself or my wife, Anna,
and just say, oh man,
that's really making me feel angry and frustrated, you know?
Research has actually proven their significant power
in simply naming the emotions that you're feeling, right?
Scientific studies of the brain have actually shown
that when we simply name the emotions that we're feeling,
that lower limbic part of the brain,
the amygdala that's firing when there's a threat,
fight or flight, is actually immediately calms down
and just goes, ah, right?
And, you know, we'll talk about this more in the future
about, you know, neuroscience and all that,
but it's really, really interesting
and it's really practical and it's really powerful, right?
So the next step is to give yourself permission
to feel the feeling, right?
And so that just simply looks like,
hey, you know what, I give myself permission
to feel what I'm feeling
to the full extent that I'm feeling it, right?
So, and there's nothing wrong with that
and there's nothing wrong with me, okay?
So, and that just removes any guilt or shame,
which is another part of being triggered, right?
So the next step is to be curious about the feeling, right?
So put your detective hat on, you know,
maybe it's Sherlock Holmes, you know,
the Sherlock Holmes hat, maybe, you know,
and maybe you need to do this in another moment
and go sit down with a journal, actually,
and just start to question the thing and the event
and just say, you know, what was it about that?
You know, so for me, I actually had to sit down
when I realized that this thing with Jackson
was really triggering me.
I actually had to sit down and go,
okay, what is going on here?
What part of this instance
might be triggering something from my childhood?
What do I know about my childhood
that this might be connected to?
And then, you know, and then I realized,
ah, you know, I actually felt invisible as a child, right?
As a big part of my wounding
as I've processed as an adult, right?
So I go, oh, of course that's making me frustrated.
And so what does that do, right?
It takes the anger and the frustration off of Jackson
and it redirects it to the actual problem, right?
And so the next step, and this is a big one,
is self-compassion, right?
So this is basically the process
of being the emotionally intelligent parent
to our own inner child that we needed our parents to be.
So when you identify the wound or the belief
that's making you feel triggered,
just ask yourself for a minute,
what did I need my parents to say to me
in that situation regarding the wound
or the event that's being triggered, right?
So what does that sound like, right?
Might sound like, hey, Tyler,
I'm really sorry you're feeling hurt about that, right?
That totally makes sense that you're feeling that way.
I'm here with you, we're gonna get through this.
Okay, so, you know, you might be thinking,
this is all a little bit fluffy and airy-fairy, you know,
but, you know, it's actually not at all.
This is, you know, if you've been a part
of any therapy or counseling training,
you'll know that this is actually a proven
and effective process to inner healing, okay?
So, you know, this is actually a big part
of how people actually get free
from depression and addiction.
And, you know, plus it's biblical as well, right?
Let the weak say, I am strong, Joel 310, right?
So, are you hurting?
Hey, it's gonna be okay, you know?
Self, you're gonna be okay.
Self-criticism or bad self-talk, you know?
Hey, you know what?
You're not stupid.
You're doing great.
doing your best, you're actually gonna figure this out.
And you're actually really smart, you're gonna be okay.
I've actually had to do a lot of that
in the process of preparing this, right?
And it's actually, you can ask my wife,
it's actually been really powerful, really effective for me.
And I've seen a lot of personal growth just even recently
as I've been applying these principles to myself, right?
And actually scientific research shows
that when we do this, we're actually rewiring
the neurological pathways in our brain, right?
We're creating new highways and paths in the brain
for positive thoughts to drive down, right?
It's really practical and powerful.
You know, and so I did a talk actually
on this earlier this week
on this topic of self-compassion
and the danger of self-criticism.
So, excuse me, that's in the parenting guide
in the Raising Royalty page as well.
So that's just go back, if you wanna catch up,
I dive deeper into this, it's really relevant.
So feel free to go back and catch up on that.
But, you know, also use the SOZO tools
that we learned in yesterday's session, right?
It's a really big deal as well.
Invite Jesus into those places of hurt when they come up
and let him speak to you.
You know, so basically we wanna acknowledge the feeling,
name the feeling, give yourself permission
to feel the feeling, and then get curious about the feeling.
And once you've figured out what could be getting triggered,
encourage yourself and invite Jesus into that space
to speak to you, right?
It's this process of healing.
The next step, and we're getting close here,
but this is a really big one, okay?
So the next step, and this is the practical part,
there's gonna be some homework on, okay?
It's boundaries.
Now, boundaries is basically the process
of communicating what you feel that you need, right?
And then sometimes being prepared to place an action
behind what you've communicated.
But put simply, boundaries is the process
of communicating what you feel that you need, right?
So when we feel resentment inside,
it's usually just a sign
that we haven't communicated a boundary early enough.
You know, and here's why boundaries are so important,
right, because the better we can get
into valuing our own needs,
the better we'll get at being able
to value other people's needs, right?
And because if you're good at boundaries,
when you feel unvalued or unloved or disrespected
by someone else, that inner child,
that part of you inside won't be able to say,
I'm not loved, I'm not important,
because it will know that you love you
and you respect you, right?
This is a really big point
that we're making this morning, right?
So, and it also makes it more difficult
for you to become triggered and disconnected
because of that, okay?
So now that's a lot to take in.
Stick with me, you're doing great.
We're almost there.
You know, there's a couple things
that are gonna be really important to realize
in order for this to happen, right?
So firstly, we have to realize
that there are wants and needs inside of us
that haven't been met, for most of us, at least.
And the only person as an adult
who's responsible for meeting those needs, right?
So in me, the only person who's responsible
for meeting those needs is me.
And for me to expect anyone else to meet those needs,
for me, is actually called codependency,
which is a dysfunctional form of relationships, right?
So going on a journey, it's gonna make sense in a minute,
so stick with me, right?
So obviously, we do need other people
to meet our needs from time to time.
But for me to expect someone else to meet my needs
instead of me doing it, right?
As opposed to me taking responsibility for me,
that's codependency, right?
And I'll give you an example of this.
And this is key, right?
So stick with me.
There was a topic of tension
between myself and my wife, Anna, for a lot of years, right?
And basically, I was wanting her
to ask me how I was feeling inside, right?
More often than she was.
And I was actually really hurt and kind of offended
by the fact that she didn't ask me how I was feeling
as much as I thought she should.
But I learned that what was actually happening
is that I was wanting,
and we kind of realized this recently, which is.
which is really cool. But I was wanting Anna to heal that inner
child part of me that felt like nobody cared about how I was
feeling inside. Right. So basically, I would just bottle
up my emotions and you know, hoping she'd asked me how I'm
doing. But at the end of the day, I was ultimately just
wanting Anna to fill that hole in my heart that wasn't filled
as a child. But here's the thing. It's actually not her
responsibility to heal that wound. It's my responsibility
now as an adult. Right? So what do I need to do to get that
thing healed? You know, well, in addition to the social tools
that we went over yesterday, I you know, what I need to do is I
actually just need to volunteer my emotions and tell her about
how I'm doing inside. And, you know, so that inner child inside
of me that felt invisible, can begin to feel seen and known and
valued, right. And so when I push through, this is this is a
key point, there's a few of them this morning. Um, you know,
when I push through the discomfort of volunteering, how
I'm feeling inside, what I'm actually doing is I'm healing
that part inside of me that gets triggered when Jackson's playing
with Plato, and doesn't respond to me right away, right. And
that's because my inner child is learning that I am seen. And I
am valued, right? It's all connected. It's crazy. It's
crazy stuff, right. So just another quick example, that Anna
recently got breakthrough in this area was, you know, she was
she was always wanting me to psychically know what she was
wanting me to do for her. You know, how many of you husbands
out there can relate to this? How many of you guys? You're
gonna be okay. Right. But it was really scary for her just to ask
me for what she felt she needed because she was wanting me to
heal that inner child part of her that felt like it couldn't
ask for what it needed. And it wasn't valuable. Right. But
here's the thing. The only way for her to get that thing healed
inside of her is for her to ask for what she feels that she
needs and wants. Otherwise, that that part of her inside will
never really feel healed and safe. Because it will always be
dependent on someone else to meet her needs, right. But if
she takes responsibility for what she feels she needs, then
her heart can begin to heal in the safety of knowing that it's
going to be taken care of. Right. So you know, when we were
little kids, we literally needed other people to meet our needs,
because we were helpless. But those strategies that we learned
as kids, that were key to our survival are no longer helpful
to us now as adults. Right. So we're going on a journey. It's
all going to start making sense here. Okay, so, you know, so
when we ask for what we feel that we need or want, or
actually doing, we're actually in the process of literally
healing that part of our inner child that needs to know that
we're valuable and important. And these are the reasons that
we walk around with this underlying resentment that
causes us to trigger right. And so here's the next point, and
we're almost done here. So if you're still with me, great job.
Thank you. We're doing good. The next key point is to realize
that it's going to be uncomfortable, right? Because
discomfort means that something's changing. So if you
want something to change, it's going to require some
discomfort. You know, we have this, this fairy tale kind of
fantasyland notion that getting our needs met is somehow not
going to inconvenience anybody. But you know, it just doesn't
require, it doesn't, it doesn't work that way, right? So love
requires sacrifice. And if it costs somebody something, you
know, even if they're inconvenienced, or even annoyed
about it, then actually receive that as love, right? Because
love requires sacrifice. And so, you know, if, if they're feeling
inconvenienced, and they do it anyway, well, that sacrifice,
isn't it? So, you know, Jesus was inconvenienced by the cross.
But he was inconvenienced because he loves us. Right. So
the next step is to realize, another key point is that we
don't make anyone feel any way, right? What they do with the
information that you give them is their choice, right? So can
you do something that provokes an emotion in someone else?
Absolutely, you can. But if you provoke something, it means that
something was already there to begin with, right? And sadly,
there's, there's a lot of unhealthy people out there,
right? And if we live our lives to try not to offend other
people with our desires and needs, we're going to end up
probably just
feeling very exhausted and resentful because at the end of the day you'll never be able to manage
the emotions and reactions of a world of people who haven't yet learned how to respond in a healthy
way and it was never your responsibility to do so anyway right um so we're wrapping up now
take a deep breath it's going to be okay all right so here's the challenge for you today
um your homework your challenge is to sit down with yourself um and make two lists
um and you can do this over the next few days if you like but make a list of three things that are
hard for you to ask for you know maybe it's asking your husband to help more around the house or
maybe it's asking for more back rubs or or maybe it's or it's asking for a time slot to go
work out right um and on that note um fitness is actually really big deal and a big um
hack for emotional health right because when we work out what actually happens is our bodies
purge themselves of the stress hormone cortisol which physically and emotionally and mentally
cause us to just feel on edge and it causes our heart rate to rise and anxiety to rise but
when we work out our bodies purge and cleanse themselves of cortisol and actually what happens
is our bodies put into our our brains and our systems um oxytocin and dopamine which are
which are peace hormones and and happy hormones so you know you can go into the gym that's why
sometimes you come out you know they say runner's high right it's because this all this stuff is
happening biologically it's affecting us emotionally so this actually has a really big
deal on our mental health working out right also physical obviously as well so maybe that's one of
the things that makes it on your list um and the second list um it's going to be two lists right
and the second list that um that you're going to make is as you're doing life in the coming days
um just just make a list of the times that you feel really triggered all right and ask jesus to
reveal to you what those instances are showing you about the parts of you that were shut down
in your childhood right so that you can start working your way through this process of healing
and here's the thing it's because the better that we can get evaluating our own hearts and
our own needs the better we'll be able to be evaluating other people's hearts and needs
right so um guys it's a lot to take in um but it's a big deal right and this stuff is all really
fresh a lot of this stuff i'm still in the middle of processing but i feel like it's really relevant
to us um and i didn't you know i could have i could have gone into a lot of practical you know
tools and hacks and skills but i really felt the lord showing me that if we didn't have the
foundation sorted all the other stuff wouldn't matter right because we would just keep falling
back into these cycles of disconnection otherwise so we wanted to start um this parenting challenge
as sort of a launch pad for the future and the foundation of healthy whole connected parenting
right so if you're with us this morning and you've been with us on this journey um you know thank you
and it's the beginning of something exciting and um we're actually going to be launching into
from here as a launch pad into another parenting challenge all right so this is going to be a five
week parenting challenge that's going to actually be taking place inside of a different page a
different group it's the online school of sonship page um and it's going to be happening um starting
next week wednesday new zealand time 7 a.m which will be tuesday if you're in most other places in
the world um and it's going to happen every wednesday for the next five weeks starting next
week 7 a.m inside the online school of sonship group now if you're not familiar with that group
there is literally hundreds of hours inside of there with discipleship material um with
you know with talks on training and equipping and healing and ministry um and you know it's it's
37 one-time fee to get access to the group where this is going to be taking place um it's normally
14.97 so um there are so many people who've actually paid well over a thousand dollars
to get into this group um and it's worth it guys i've been through the content
and it has had a dramatic, so much of this stuff, guys.
And one of the courses in this group
is actually called
The Seven Sacred Pathways to Intimacy,
and it's about marriage.
And that has had a tremendous impact
on my relationship with my wife, right?
It's some really good stuff
that I have not heard anywhere else.
And our connections with our spouses
are actually a really big deal
when it comes to this whole parenting thing, okay?
So highly recommend that, totally worth your time.
And I mean, basically giving it away at 37.
So we're gonna drop a link to that group
in the comments of this video,
as well as in the parenting guide.
And you'll see more on that coming.
So if you wanna jump into that, look out for that link,
jump in and be ready, all right?
Cause we're gonna actually go a lot deeper
into some of these topics,
as well as probably cover a lot more
of the practical side of things
now that we've got our foundation sorted.
So just before we wrap up this morning,
I wanted to leave you with a few resources.
There is a ministry out of Redding, California
called Connection Codes, and really powerful.
But one of the things they talk about
is something called the core emotion wheel.
And you can literally just Google this,
Connection Codes core emotion wheel.
And it's gonna show you the seven core emotions
that we have inside of us happening.
And what they say to do with this
is literally just to take every day a moment of the day
where you spend maybe 20 seconds on each emotion
and just share with each other what's happening, right?
I felt, today I felt angry when,
today I felt sad when, today I felt happy when, right?
And so it's only about,
you're looking at maybe four or five minutes
for the whole thing, right?
Usually it goes a bit longer,
but what you're doing is you're actually helping your heart
to process what's happening inside of us.
And as we've done this in our household,
it's actually been really powerful as a way
of causing our anxiety levels to go down,
our stress levels to go down,
our, the times that we get triggered
to become less and less.
So you can literally Google that
and print it off and just start doing it, right?
Connection Codes, Core Emotion,
we have a really powerful ministry.
They have some really good courses, highly recommend them.
Another one is actually an app called NeuroCycle
from someone named Dr. Carolyn Leaf.
And she talks all about this,
these neurological pathways rewiring the brain.
Highly recommend her material,
but this, the app is kind of just a walkthrough guide
to help us start processing our emotions.
And we're actually rewiring those neurological pathways.
Also the head of SOZO, Dale Wright,
who Renee mentioned yesterday, she's here in New Zealand.
Feel free to reach out to her.
A lot of this talk, I'm sure,
will be bringing stuff up for you
that's underneath the surface.
I know it did for me as I was going through this.
So it's absolutely okay to reach out to someone, right?
Actually, I recommend it.
So feel free to reach out.
If you're not in New Zealand,
there's SOZO ministries all over the place.
Also Elijah House is another really good ministry
that some great fruit that focuses on inner healing.
So reach out.
Also just any counseling and therapy,
really effective as well, right?
So the point is that we wanna get better at being whole
so that we can offer a love from a place of overflow.
So yeah, guys, that's it.
That's us for this morning.
If you've stuck with us through this,
there's a lot to take in,
but I might even recommend going through this
a couple of times because it was really packed full.
So if you followed all of that, well done.
Congratulations to you.
But again, guys, what we've covered
in these three days together,
I really believe is the foundation and the launch pad
for world change and for a revolution
of wholeness and connectedness
and the love of Jesus expressed through family.
So I'm excited for what's to come.
I'm excited to journey together alongside each one of you
as we seek to be empowered, whole and equipped
and connected parents and families
who express the unconditional love
and acceptance of Jesus, right?
Guys, we love you and we thank you
and we're excited to journey with you
and we'll catch you next time, all right?
All right, guys, good job.
Cheers.
See you later.