WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.720 What I'm talking about is the pressure from our peer groups, whether it be our child's peer group 2 00:00:06.720 --> 00:00:11.520 or our own personal friend's peer group, and letting their kids go do something. 3 00:00:11.520 --> 00:00:17.280 If it is not something that you want your child exposed to, it is okay for you to say no, 4 00:00:17.840 --> 00:00:23.040 and it is okay for you to be the bad guy. It is just okay because one day, 5 00:00:23.600 --> 00:00:28.320 those children will have children, and they will understand why you said no. 6 00:00:28.400 --> 00:00:30.400 So 7 00:00:49.440 --> 00:00:53.280 Hi guys, and welcome to another episode of Truth Talk with Wendy. 8 00:00:53.920 --> 00:00:59.520 I am so excited today to talk to you about something that is very near and dear to my heart, 9 00:00:59.520 --> 00:01:05.519 and that is being a parent, being a mom. You might be a dad watching, you qualify, 10 00:01:05.519 --> 00:01:10.720 we're talking about one of the hardest jobs in the whole wide world, but also one of the 11 00:01:10.720 --> 00:01:20.480 most rewarding. Parenting in 2021 is not for the faint of heart though. There is so much going on 12 00:01:20.480 --> 00:01:26.720 in our world. I wonder sometimes if I had an opportunity to go back and knew what my kids 13 00:01:26.720 --> 00:01:32.800 would be growing up in, if I would have wanted to bring them into this craziness. You know, 14 00:01:33.760 --> 00:01:40.000 you wonder how in the world they're going to get through it, but we know from scripture 15 00:01:40.560 --> 00:01:47.200 that God numbers our days. He knows our birth date. He knows our death date, and so every single 16 00:01:47.200 --> 00:01:54.640 child that we have, God put them in this world at this time for a specific purpose. So I rest in 17 00:01:54.640 --> 00:02:03.360 that because there are so many hard things when you're parenting, and so many of us have a deep 18 00:02:03.920 --> 00:02:12.480 desire for our children to love us and like us, and unfortunately that is not always 19 00:02:13.440 --> 00:02:21.760 a thing that we can accomplish, nor is it optimal for them. Loving us is obviously something that 20 00:02:21.760 --> 00:02:27.600 if we teach them about true love, which comes from God, then they can love us even when they 21 00:02:27.600 --> 00:02:31.920 don't like us, just like when the roles are reversed. You know, there's a lot of times when I 22 00:02:32.640 --> 00:02:38.160 love my kids, but I'm like, I need you to remove yourself from my presence right now. Okay, they're 23 00:02:38.320 --> 00:02:42.960 just like, I don't want to be around them because they're being rebellious, disrespectful, you know, 24 00:02:42.960 --> 00:02:51.360 pick a word. So what I want to talk about today is how important it is in every single stage of 25 00:02:51.360 --> 00:03:01.440 their life to be their parent until such a time when that is no longer required, and unfortunately 26 00:03:01.440 --> 00:03:08.400 so many of us give up on that timeline too early, and I just want to talk about that for a little 27 00:03:08.400 --> 00:03:14.640 bit. Let's talk about when they're little. I have two littles still. When I say littles, I'm talking 28 00:03:14.640 --> 00:03:21.520 eight and ten, like they are little, and our goal when they are little seems to be just to protect 29 00:03:21.520 --> 00:03:26.480 them at all costs. We would never, you know, just send them out into the street to play with a ball. 30 00:03:26.480 --> 00:03:31.680 We would never just send them, you know, with strangers. There's so many things that you think 31 00:03:31.680 --> 00:03:37.680 about, but then when you really start also breaking down what does that mean, protect them at all 32 00:03:37.680 --> 00:03:44.880 costs, like what if it really did cost you something? For instance, in my own personal life, I had two 33 00:03:45.600 --> 00:03:54.800 father figures that molested me. Well, one of them, my stepfather, I did not realize to the degree 34 00:03:54.800 --> 00:04:02.560 that his sickness actually was until I had already allowed him to form a relationship 35 00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:09.440 with my children, and the reason is because what happened with him was so much less than what had 36 00:04:09.440 --> 00:04:15.920 happened before, and when I confronted him, actually when my mom confronted him, it stopped 37 00:04:15.920 --> 00:04:24.160 immediately. Well, other information came out many, many, many years later that brought grave 38 00:04:24.160 --> 00:04:32.720 concern to me, and not only that, but the Lord gave me a dream that, and I cannot normally even 39 00:04:32.720 --> 00:04:38.960 remember what I dreamed, so for me to remember this dream so vividly, and it actually even had a 40 00:04:38.960 --> 00:04:45.440 date in it of the upcoming Sunday, this was like on a Friday night, and it was so frightening that 41 00:04:45.440 --> 00:04:55.120 I immediately took action, and I had to remove him from their life because that was the warning dream 42 00:04:55.120 --> 00:04:59.840 that the Lord gave to me. Well, that cost me quite a bit. 43 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:07.200 What it cost me more than anything was a relationship with my mom because that 44 00:05:07.200 --> 00:05:14.160 was not something that she wanted to hear and that was very painful for her 45 00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:21.400 to hear after years of having a relationship with my kids. My exact 46 00:05:21.400 --> 00:05:27.160 words to her were, you can have a relationship with them but he is no 47 00:05:27.160 --> 00:05:32.640 longer welcome to be around them whether at your home or ours and that 48 00:05:32.640 --> 00:05:37.880 was hard for her. It was very difficult for me as well because my boys didn't 49 00:05:37.880 --> 00:05:47.400 understand it and my mom was very upset with me but here's what I told not just 50 00:05:47.400 --> 00:05:55.000 her but myself to allow myself the freedom to make this choice and have no 51 00:05:55.000 --> 00:06:02.200 regrets about it. I asked myself what if one day in the future fast-forward five 52 00:06:02.200 --> 00:06:06.280 years ten years whatever it would have been at that time what if one of my 53 00:06:06.280 --> 00:06:12.720 boys came to me with tears in his eyes trying to drum up the courage to tell me 54 00:06:12.720 --> 00:06:19.160 that that man did something to them scared to death that I wouldn't believe 55 00:06:19.160 --> 00:06:23.680 him or that I would be mad at them or whatever their fear would be whatever 56 00:06:23.800 --> 00:06:29.080 every child's fear is in finally telling someone what if that would have been 57 00:06:29.080 --> 00:06:33.880 something that I would have had to deal with and then I would have said to them 58 00:06:33.880 --> 00:06:38.800 ever so tenderly well sweetheart I totally believe you he did the same 59 00:06:38.800 --> 00:06:43.000 thing to me and they would have looked at me with those same teary eyes and 60 00:06:43.000 --> 00:06:48.720 said to me then mommy why did you ever let him be around us I couldn't come up 61 00:06:48.720 --> 00:06:53.760 with a good answer for that question I just I couldn't and no one that I have 62 00:06:53.760 --> 00:06:58.000 spoken to or presented that question to has come up with a good answer either so 63 00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:03.880 I knew right then and there that was the bottom line it was not worth the risk 64 00:07:03.880 --> 00:07:09.280 that my kids might get hurt now he may have never done anything I have no idea 65 00:07:09.280 --> 00:07:15.720 but I wasn't willing to risk their well-being their mental health their 66 00:07:15.720 --> 00:07:20.600 relationship with the Lord their relationships period for the rest of 67 00:07:20.600 --> 00:07:25.000 their lives because we have all talked about the effects of childhood sexual 68 00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:29.200 abuse and what comes with that as my husband calls it the gift that keeps on 69 00:07:29.200 --> 00:07:34.800 giving it's something that one time can completely change a child's life so are 70 00:07:34.800 --> 00:07:43.640 we really willing to protect them at any and all cost what are you not willing to 71 00:07:43.680 --> 00:07:49.760 do what relationship are you not willing to give up to protect your child that's 72 00:07:49.760 --> 00:07:54.400 something that every single parent needs to think long and hard about because if 73 00:07:54.400 --> 00:08:00.840 you put them in a situation that you had foreknowledge about knowing that that is 74 00:08:00.840 --> 00:08:07.520 a potentially dangerous situation then that is your responsibility and you will 75 00:08:07.520 --> 00:08:11.920 answer to the Lord for that because that child doesn't have a choice that is 76 00:08:12.120 --> 00:08:18.480 something that I personally I couldn't live with let's move on into adolescence 77 00:08:18.480 --> 00:08:24.280 saying no this is not a word that any child ever wants to hear it's not a word 78 00:08:24.280 --> 00:08:29.920 I want to hear but it is a necessary part of parenting if I had a dollar for 79 00:08:29.920 --> 00:08:34.880 every time I heard from one of my children but so-and-so's mom's letting 80 00:08:34.880 --> 00:08:42.120 them do it or so-and-so's friends got to do it I would have all the money to 81 00:08:42.120 --> 00:08:48.280 feed the entire African population I am telling you I got so tired of hearing 82 00:08:48.280 --> 00:08:53.120 that so much so that I went to the age old saying that my mom used to say if 83 00:08:53.120 --> 00:08:57.200 all the people jumped off the Empire State Building would you go to you know 84 00:08:57.200 --> 00:09:02.560 it's like okay I totally understand that now but just because everyone else is 85 00:09:02.560 --> 00:09:08.360 doing it doesn't make it right let me give you an example there are so many 86 00:09:08.360 --> 00:09:15.840 movies that are being you know attended at the theater or even watched at home 87 00:09:15.840 --> 00:09:24.960 by kids that even the world's system of rating a movie might say might say PG 13 88 00:09:24.960 --> 00:09:31.200 and these kids are 8 or 10 or you know 11 or whatever whatever the age is even 89 00:09:31.200 --> 00:09:34.840 the world says that they should probably be 13 or older before they 90 00:09:34.840 --> 00:09:39.200 watch it and parents aren't even paying attention or they're taking them with 91 00:09:39.200 --> 00:09:44.200 them to the movies whatever whatever it is there are other movies that are rated 92 00:09:44.200 --> 00:09:48.320 R that these kids are getting into somehow I don't really even know now let 93 00:09:48.320 --> 00:09:53.080 me say there are caveats to this rule for instance the movie The Passion of 94 00:09:53.080 --> 00:09:58.360 the Christ okay that is a rated R movie I think I mean the violence of that is 95 00:09:58.360 --> 00:10:01.800 so horrendous 96 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:03.000 is so, I can barely watch it myself, 97 00:10:03.000 --> 00:10:04.560 not just because of that, 98 00:10:04.560 --> 00:10:07.240 but because of what I am reminded of, 99 00:10:07.240 --> 00:10:09.720 that it cost the Lord because of my sin. 100 00:10:09.720 --> 00:10:11.600 It is so difficult to watch. 101 00:10:11.600 --> 00:10:14.200 But is that something I want to restrict my kids? 102 00:10:14.200 --> 00:10:15.920 No, not me personally. 103 00:10:15.920 --> 00:10:17.560 It might be your decision, 104 00:10:17.560 --> 00:10:20.680 and that's something that you have to decide as a parent. 105 00:10:20.680 --> 00:10:25.280 What I'm talking about is the pressure from our peer groups, 106 00:10:25.280 --> 00:10:27.360 whether it be our child's peer group 107 00:10:27.400 --> 00:10:30.120 or our own personal friend's peer group 108 00:10:30.120 --> 00:10:32.240 and letting their kids go do something. 109 00:10:32.240 --> 00:10:33.760 If it is not something 110 00:10:33.760 --> 00:10:35.880 that you want your child exposed to, 111 00:10:35.880 --> 00:10:38.600 it is okay for you to say no, 112 00:10:38.600 --> 00:10:40.880 and it is okay for you to be the bad guy. 113 00:10:40.880 --> 00:10:42.640 It is just okay, 114 00:10:42.640 --> 00:10:46.160 because one day those children will have children 115 00:10:46.160 --> 00:10:49.440 and they will understand why you said no. 116 00:10:49.440 --> 00:10:52.080 And another thing is sleepover, okay? 117 00:10:52.080 --> 00:10:54.480 I have friends who I think their kids 118 00:10:54.480 --> 00:10:57.080 stay at their friend's house, 119 00:10:57.080 --> 00:10:58.720 or all the other friends, 120 00:10:58.720 --> 00:11:00.640 more than they stay at their own house. 121 00:11:00.640 --> 00:11:01.880 Their parents just don't, 122 00:11:01.880 --> 00:11:04.320 they don't have a problem with them sleeping over. 123 00:11:04.320 --> 00:11:07.280 That is not something I've ever felt comfortable with. 124 00:11:07.280 --> 00:11:09.160 There's not enough days left in my life 125 00:11:09.160 --> 00:11:11.680 where I'm gonna be changed and convinced 126 00:11:11.680 --> 00:11:14.160 that is an okay thing to do. 127 00:11:14.160 --> 00:11:17.360 My house, growing up as a pastor's daughter, 128 00:11:17.360 --> 00:11:22.160 should have been the most safe house 129 00:11:22.200 --> 00:11:25.120 of anybody that anyone knew. 130 00:11:25.120 --> 00:11:27.480 And it's where I was hurt the most. 131 00:11:27.480 --> 00:11:30.920 There is no way that I am going to send my child 132 00:11:30.920 --> 00:11:32.440 to spend the night somewhere, 133 00:11:32.440 --> 00:11:35.240 especially in those earlier years 134 00:11:35.240 --> 00:11:38.040 and those very formative teenage years, 135 00:11:38.040 --> 00:11:43.040 when they are so impressionable 136 00:11:43.300 --> 00:11:47.800 and they are so drawn to fit in 137 00:11:47.800 --> 00:11:51.120 that they can be manipulated very easily. 138 00:11:51.120 --> 00:11:53.200 It's just, it's not worth. 139 00:11:53.200 --> 00:11:55.360 So we just have a rule in our house. 140 00:11:55.360 --> 00:11:56.880 There are no sleepovers. 141 00:11:56.880 --> 00:11:58.440 You can have people come here, 142 00:11:58.440 --> 00:12:00.000 you know, your friends can come here, 143 00:12:00.000 --> 00:12:03.320 but you will not go to anyone else's house for a sleepover. 144 00:12:03.320 --> 00:12:04.400 It's just the rule. 145 00:12:04.400 --> 00:12:06.940 They don't understand it, it's okay. 146 00:12:06.940 --> 00:12:08.240 They can be mad at me. 147 00:12:08.240 --> 00:12:09.700 They don't have to like me. 148 00:12:09.700 --> 00:12:12.880 Again, I'm going for the fact that I know they love me 149 00:12:12.880 --> 00:12:15.400 and they will understand this one day. 150 00:12:15.400 --> 00:12:16.840 Okay, now let's talk about, 151 00:12:16.840 --> 00:12:21.440 let's move on to their later teenage and college years. 152 00:12:21.440 --> 00:12:26.440 This is a stage where I am just entering. 153 00:12:27.800 --> 00:12:29.160 I have one that's been in college. 154 00:12:29.160 --> 00:12:30.720 He's in his third year of college 155 00:12:30.720 --> 00:12:32.680 and I have one that I literally just dropped off 156 00:12:32.680 --> 00:12:33.640 this weekend. 157 00:12:33.640 --> 00:12:37.440 I'm still in recovery from that whole experience. 158 00:12:37.440 --> 00:12:38.680 I don't think I've cried that hard 159 00:12:38.680 --> 00:12:40.160 since I dropped the last one off 160 00:12:40.160 --> 00:12:42.000 and thought this one might be easier 161 00:12:42.000 --> 00:12:43.260 and it just was not. 162 00:12:44.100 --> 00:12:48.220 But what I am finding is that, 163 00:12:48.220 --> 00:12:50.900 especially with the first one that left, 164 00:12:50.900 --> 00:12:55.740 you know, they're, I mean, that is like grieving. 165 00:12:55.740 --> 00:12:58.180 You know, that child was, you know, 166 00:12:58.180 --> 00:12:59.420 we homeschooled for eight years. 167 00:12:59.420 --> 00:13:02.380 That child was with me so much 168 00:13:02.380 --> 00:13:04.420 and then he's just not here anymore. 169 00:13:04.420 --> 00:13:06.900 And then now the other one has gone too. 170 00:13:06.900 --> 00:13:09.420 And I have a tendency to, you know, 171 00:13:09.420 --> 00:13:10.900 when I've talked to them, 172 00:13:10.900 --> 00:13:12.620 I want it to be a good conversation. 173 00:13:12.620 --> 00:13:14.580 I don't want them to not want to call me back. 174 00:13:14.580 --> 00:13:16.460 I don't, you know, I'm trying, you know, 175 00:13:16.460 --> 00:13:18.740 that's like a temptation, okay? 176 00:13:18.740 --> 00:13:22.900 But there are so many things 177 00:13:22.900 --> 00:13:25.540 that they are being bombarded with 178 00:13:25.540 --> 00:13:26.740 in their little world 179 00:13:26.740 --> 00:13:28.500 and trying to figure out who they are 180 00:13:28.500 --> 00:13:30.220 aside from mom and dad, 181 00:13:30.220 --> 00:13:34.140 aside from the safety of where they grew up, 182 00:13:34.140 --> 00:13:36.340 if they went off to college. 183 00:13:36.340 --> 00:13:39.540 And it's something that we can't afford 184 00:13:39.540 --> 00:13:41.780 to drop the ball at this point. 185 00:13:41.820 --> 00:13:46.340 This is where a lot of people get in trouble. 186 00:13:46.340 --> 00:13:48.380 They make some really dumb decisions 187 00:13:48.380 --> 00:13:52.060 that then shape their life as an adult forever. 188 00:13:52.060 --> 00:13:55.300 And so we have got to continue checking in. 189 00:13:55.300 --> 00:13:58.780 We have got to continue holding them accountable. 190 00:13:58.780 --> 00:14:00.900 Like for instance, 191 00:14:00.900 --> 00:14:05.820 one of the videos I just saw recently, 192 00:14:05.820 --> 00:14:08.660 some guy named Little Dicky, 193 00:14:08.660 --> 00:14:11.700 I have no idea who this person is. 194 00:14:13.100 --> 00:14:18.100 He did a live performance of himself on a cross, 195 00:14:20.140 --> 00:14:21.820 like he's Jesus. 196 00:14:21.820 --> 00:14:23.140 And then started, you know, 197 00:14:23.140 --> 00:14:25.100 then he pulled himself off the cross 198 00:14:25.100 --> 00:14:28.580 and started rapping and spewing all of this. 199 00:14:28.580 --> 00:14:30.820 I literally could not even watch it. 200 00:14:30.820 --> 00:14:35.820 It was so, so gross and so disgusting. 201 00:14:36.220 --> 00:14:39.340 And Kevin Hart, the actor, 202 00:14:39.340 --> 00:14:43.140 actually posted this on his Instagram who, 203 00:14:43.140 --> 00:14:45.220 I can barely find Instagram, 204 00:14:45.220 --> 00:14:48.100 but I heard that he had done this 205 00:14:48.100 --> 00:14:50.220 in this video that I watched. 206 00:14:50.220 --> 00:14:53.580 And it was so blasphemous 207 00:14:53.580 --> 00:14:57.140 that I literally could not even finish the video. 208 00:14:57.140 --> 00:14:57.980 It was so bad. 209 00:14:57.980 --> 00:15:00.180 So I texted my boys and I said, 210 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:06.520 Hey! Do either one of you guys know this artist Little Dicky? And of course, they 211 00:15:06.520 --> 00:15:12.280 do. So, now I am going to have to... I need to research some more. I literally found 212 00:15:12.280 --> 00:15:15.680 this out. I need to research some more. I need to find out some more about this 213 00:15:15.680 --> 00:15:19.880 guy and I need to educate my children because here's what happens. These 214 00:15:19.880 --> 00:15:26.080 artists find this cool you know beat and you have time can even understand the 215 00:15:26.080 --> 00:15:29.680 words and although unfortunately now you can just hit a little button if 216 00:15:29.680 --> 00:15:32.800 you're in Apple Music or whatever and it tells you all the lyrics look like 217 00:15:32.800 --> 00:15:37.160 regardless if they're cuss words or what it's saying and the lyrics are right 218 00:15:37.160 --> 00:15:40.280 there in front of you so our kids are memorizing this stuff and it's going 219 00:15:40.280 --> 00:15:46.440 into their mind and then we are just not saying anything or we are you know too 220 00:15:46.440 --> 00:15:49.720 old we don't listen to that kind of music or whatever and we are just 221 00:15:49.720 --> 00:15:57.680 uninformed. That is dangerous. That is very dangerous. We have got to stay up 222 00:15:57.680 --> 00:16:05.680 with what are the influences that my kids are taking in. I'm pretty sure that 223 00:16:05.680 --> 00:16:12.280 by now unless you live under a rock or you just don't want to watch anything 224 00:16:12.280 --> 00:16:19.360 news related you have probably heard of the Little Nas X. I think it's his name. 225 00:16:19.360 --> 00:16:23.960 I just call him Little Nasty because he's just disgusting that he did. He's the one 226 00:16:23.960 --> 00:16:27.400 that came out with Satan Shoes that Nike then you know said we had nothing to do 227 00:16:27.400 --> 00:16:32.040 with this and all this and it had like the real blood in the soul and you know 228 00:16:32.040 --> 00:16:36.600 you might have heard of that but he also at the same time came out with a song 229 00:16:36.600 --> 00:16:44.440 and the video was literally of him descending into hell on a stripper pole 230 00:16:44.440 --> 00:16:52.040 and simulating a sex scene with the devil like Satan like the horns like you 231 00:16:52.040 --> 00:16:56.840 know what people think of when they think of the devil okay and this kid 232 00:16:56.840 --> 00:17:04.200 this rapper had like song of the year or something last year and I heard my kids 233 00:17:04.200 --> 00:17:08.640 singing I didn't I didn't know it was that same person so I have a friend 234 00:17:08.640 --> 00:17:12.359 who's much more up on these things and I'm like you know who is this guy and 235 00:17:12.359 --> 00:17:15.680 she told me you know he's the one that came out with this other song I was like 236 00:17:15.680 --> 00:17:20.440 oh you've got to be kidding. Thankfully I was able to talk to my son about it my 237 00:17:20.440 --> 00:17:24.760 oldest son and I said you know what what are your friends saying about this 238 00:17:24.760 --> 00:17:28.440 guy and he he said well they're saying that we're not listening to him anymore 239 00:17:28.440 --> 00:17:33.880 I mean he was disgusted by it so I was very thankful at that reaction but at 240 00:17:33.880 --> 00:17:40.360 least he knows that I am concerned enough about him to check in and ask you 241 00:17:40.360 --> 00:17:48.720 know we want to be known we want to be seen and if we just leave our kids out 242 00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:55.800 there to try to figure it out on their own I know for me in this age of 243 00:17:55.800 --> 00:17:59.640 information and I think I said before like by three o'clock I'm exhausted 244 00:17:59.640 --> 00:18:03.080 there's so much information that my brain has absorbed imagine what these 245 00:18:03.080 --> 00:18:07.880 kids are going through and they don't even have the capacity to even process 246 00:18:07.880 --> 00:18:11.560 everything that they're seeing you know their brains are still developing and it 247 00:18:11.560 --> 00:18:15.600 is so sad to me that that is what they're having to deal with it is just 248 00:18:15.600 --> 00:18:21.480 it's it's it's a tragedy but it is not the time to take off your parenting hat 249 00:18:21.480 --> 00:18:27.880 and put on your friend cap it is still our role to pour into them until it's no 250 00:18:27.880 --> 00:18:33.080 longer time and the other thing that you have to really be careful about is like 251 00:18:33.080 --> 00:18:37.600 those examples I just gave you those are clearly you know worldly artists those 252 00:18:37.600 --> 00:18:41.200 aren't you know Christian artists that are you know like doing this in the dark 253 00:18:41.200 --> 00:18:48.440 but there are definitely Christian artists who have recently left the faith 254 00:18:48.440 --> 00:18:53.800 like celebrated leaving the faith like you know made a big announcement no 255 00:18:53.800 --> 00:19:00.320 longer believe in God and that is to me even more dangerous because these are 256 00:19:00.320 --> 00:19:07.920 groups or or artists that you know your kids have been allowed to listen to so 257 00:19:07.920 --> 00:19:11.600 those are also some things that as parents we just need to be diligent and 258 00:19:11.600 --> 00:19:16.000 we need to look into you know what what were some of those older songs you know 259 00:19:16.000 --> 00:19:21.200 was there anything in there you know I for one don't listen to I have playlists 260 00:19:21.200 --> 00:19:23.840 that you know I've heard some of the same songs you have like three or four 261 00:19:23.840 --> 00:19:28.160 years and then I'll add one new song to it and I'm very repetitive just because 262 00:19:28.160 --> 00:19:32.600 I like that but but on these like Spotify and things like that they have 263 00:19:32.600 --> 00:19:37.160 these playlists that they just come up and so they hear these songs and they 264 00:19:37.160 --> 00:19:42.040 have a good beat or they they sound good whatever and we just need to really 265 00:19:42.040 --> 00:19:46.480 engage and make sure that our kids are getting truth they have got to have 266 00:19:46.480 --> 00:19:52.560 truth or else they're gonna believe it even a little bit of twist makes that a 267 00:19:52.560 --> 00:20:02.320 lie and you know that Lucifer in heaven was the worship leader right so he is 268 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:05.000 It's all about being up in the worship music and all about music. 269 00:20:05.640 --> 00:20:09.420 You know, music is very addictive. If you hear a song from like, 270 00:20:09.420 --> 00:20:11.220 from your past, if you hear something, 271 00:20:11.420 --> 00:20:14.620 you immediately can think of where you were when that song was popular. 272 00:20:14.620 --> 00:20:18.900 You're like, I was a singer in high school or I was dating that guy or whatever. 273 00:20:18.900 --> 00:20:21.980 You know, that's the song that, you know, was my first dance at my wedding. 274 00:20:22.700 --> 00:20:24.140 Music is powerful. 275 00:20:24.380 --> 00:20:29.380 And so we just want to really make sure that we are on top of what is going 276 00:20:29.720 --> 00:20:33.380 into our kids' minds over and over and over again. You know, 277 00:20:33.380 --> 00:20:34.540 when I was homeschooling, 278 00:20:34.700 --> 00:20:38.780 one of the ways that we got our kids to learn stuff and to memorize is 279 00:20:38.980 --> 00:20:43.620 everything was a song. I mean, we made a song out of the timeline. 280 00:20:43.660 --> 00:20:45.460 Can I tell you like from, you know, 281 00:20:45.460 --> 00:20:49.740 when Noah came off the ark to at that time, like President Obama, like we, 282 00:20:49.940 --> 00:20:53.980 we had a song and tunes and stuff for the entire thing. 283 00:20:53.980 --> 00:20:56.700 And they knew all of history because they could sing it. 284 00:20:56.980 --> 00:21:00.900 So we have to really make sure that what it is that is, you know, 285 00:21:00.900 --> 00:21:04.740 going around and around and around in their brain, that it is actual truth. 286 00:21:05.260 --> 00:21:10.260 I just want to leave you with a couple of scriptures that the Bible tells us is 287 00:21:10.780 --> 00:21:15.380 so important as we are raising our kids and in every stage. 288 00:21:16.100 --> 00:21:19.660 A really easy one is Proverbs 22, 6. 289 00:21:19.660 --> 00:21:23.140 We've all heard this train up a child in the way he should go. 290 00:21:23.340 --> 00:21:26.180 And even when he is old, he will not depart from it. 291 00:21:26.580 --> 00:21:28.420 This is something for me that I really, 292 00:21:28.420 --> 00:21:33.420 really rest in because my kids are going to have moments that, 293 00:21:33.940 --> 00:21:37.980 you know, that they stray. We all do. You know, some of us, you know, 294 00:21:37.980 --> 00:21:41.860 like went way off the deep end and God rescued us and brought us back. 295 00:21:42.420 --> 00:21:46.620 There is a promise in God's word that his word does not return void. 296 00:21:46.620 --> 00:21:51.220 If we are pouring in God's word and his truth into our kids, 297 00:21:51.540 --> 00:21:53.820 when they are old, they will not depart from it. 298 00:21:53.820 --> 00:21:56.700 And I truly believe even if they stray, 299 00:21:56.940 --> 00:22:00.340 that God will bring them back because that is a promise for us. 300 00:22:00.380 --> 00:22:03.420 Another one is Ephesians 6, 4b, 301 00:22:03.820 --> 00:22:08.620 bring them up with discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. 302 00:22:08.860 --> 00:22:12.820 Okay. Those two words are actionable. Okay. 303 00:22:12.900 --> 00:22:17.860 Discipline, not something any of us like to do. And if you do, 304 00:22:17.940 --> 00:22:20.500 that's another problem because, um, 305 00:22:20.540 --> 00:22:23.860 that we should never like to discipline our children. 306 00:22:23.860 --> 00:22:27.820 We have to discipline them because that's something God calls us to do. Um, 307 00:22:27.820 --> 00:22:31.380 but it should never be something we enjoy, but instructing them, 308 00:22:31.380 --> 00:22:36.380 we have to instruct them. That is a, that is an action word. Okay. 309 00:22:36.500 --> 00:22:39.980 That means that you are constantly helping them, instructing them, 310 00:22:39.980 --> 00:22:43.820 teaching them, guiding them. And that comes from the Lord. 311 00:22:43.980 --> 00:22:48.340 So those are doing things God's way. 312 00:22:48.580 --> 00:22:52.220 So I just want to help you to see, 313 00:22:52.300 --> 00:22:57.300 even when it is not something that is popular or when it's not something that 314 00:22:57.700 --> 00:23:02.140 or it goes against the grain, even when it goes against the grain, 315 00:23:02.140 --> 00:23:04.340 you have got to still stand firm. 316 00:23:05.340 --> 00:23:10.140 Another thing is I want to read this and I love this part because this is where 317 00:23:10.140 --> 00:23:14.020 it starts with us. And then we pass that down to our children. 318 00:23:14.300 --> 00:23:17.500 Deuteronomy six verses five through nine say, 319 00:23:18.180 --> 00:23:20.780 and you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, 320 00:23:20.820 --> 00:23:22.980 all your soul and all your strength. 321 00:23:23.020 --> 00:23:26.220 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly. 322 00:23:26.260 --> 00:23:30.460 So that starts with us to these commands that I am giving you today. 323 00:23:30.660 --> 00:23:34.980 Then he tells us, repeat them again and again to your children. 324 00:23:35.420 --> 00:23:38.540 Talk about them when you're at home and when you're on the road, 325 00:23:38.540 --> 00:23:40.900 when you're going to bed and when you're getting up, 326 00:23:41.300 --> 00:23:46.180 tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 327 00:23:46.260 --> 00:23:51.260 And then finally write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. 328 00:23:51.660 --> 00:23:55.900 Now that is a lot of action words too. We got to repeat them to our kids, 329 00:23:56.140 --> 00:23:58.460 talk about them pretty much everywhere we go, 330 00:23:58.660 --> 00:24:01.860 wear them on our forehead as reminders. 331 00:24:02.020 --> 00:24:03.500 I choose to wear mine on my shirt, 332 00:24:03.540 --> 00:24:08.540 amazing grace and write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, 333 00:24:09.500 --> 00:24:12.060 which is basically, you know, just have this stuff around your house. 334 00:24:12.060 --> 00:24:14.620 Like let people know when they come to your house, 335 00:24:14.660 --> 00:24:16.460 who is the ruler of your house. 336 00:24:16.700 --> 00:24:21.700 And that way your kids also know that in this house we serve the Lord. 337 00:24:22.020 --> 00:24:27.020 So one thing that you can't do if you do not have a relationship with the Lord 338 00:24:28.700 --> 00:24:30.340 is teach your kids about him. 339 00:24:30.380 --> 00:24:35.380 So the first and foremost thing that must be done is if you are not walking with 340 00:24:36.340 --> 00:24:37.380 the Lord yourself, 341 00:24:37.460 --> 00:24:38.300 then it's very, 342 00:24:38.300 --> 00:24:42.580 very difficult for you to be able to do these things that I'm talking about. 343 00:24:42.700 --> 00:24:44.380 So I'm going to invite you today. 344 00:24:44.420 --> 00:24:48.060 If you don't already have a relationship with God, 345 00:24:48.060 --> 00:24:51.300 if you don't know Jesus as your personal savior, 346 00:24:51.460 --> 00:24:53.340 we're going to put our email in the show notes. 347 00:24:53.380 --> 00:24:55.140 I would invite you to reach out to us. 348 00:24:55.140 --> 00:24:59.660 We would love to talk to you about Jesus and everything that he can do for you 349 00:24:59.660 --> 00:25:00.100 in your life. 350 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:07.040 life and just the change that He makes, not just in your behavior, but in your desires. 351 00:25:07.040 --> 00:25:10.920 He gets inside your heart and He lines up our desires with His desires. 352 00:25:10.920 --> 00:25:13.640 It is an amazing transformation. 353 00:25:13.640 --> 00:25:18.360 But if you don't reach out to us, find somebody that is a Christian. 354 00:25:18.360 --> 00:25:22.640 Find somebody that you know walks with the Lord and just ask them if you can talk to 355 00:25:22.640 --> 00:25:23.640 them. 356 00:25:23.640 --> 00:25:27.040 People who know Jesus want to share Him with others. 357 00:25:27.040 --> 00:25:31.920 So I just invite you today to start your relationship with Jesus very soon so that 358 00:25:31.920 --> 00:25:37.240 you can then share Him, not just with others, but specifically with your children as well. 359 00:25:37.240 --> 00:25:42.560 So thank you guys so much for joining us today and we invite you to come back next week for 360 00:25:42.560 --> 00:25:44.920 another episode of Truth Talk with Wendy.