And welcome to Prosper TV, to be inspired, equipped, empowered to prosper in all things.
I'm your host, Brenda Byars.
If you're ready to prosper physically, financially, relationally, spiritually, come and join this
amazing community.
Let's prosper together.
And welcome.
I am so glad you are here.
You know, if you have struggled in a relationship, or maybe you just have a desire to bring back
love, to restore communication, to bring the relationship to what you first knew that it
could be, you are in for a treat.
Today, you are going to be meeting Yvonne Providence, a relationship coach.
And I just want to welcome you, Yvonne, to the show.
I love what you're doing.
What an important thing.
You know, without our relationships, I mean, what do we have?
So tell me a little bit.
Tell me a little bit about what you do and why you do it.
Well, thank you, Brenda.
Okay, well, I am a relationship coach.
And one thing that I like to do is to empower not just women, but people that are struggling
and feel like they're stuck in a rut.
And I like to not just empower them, but give them, I'll say like a hope in a future, put
them back on track.
Boy, we need hope.
We need future.
I know when I was visiting with you in advance, you talked about giving them like a new window
to look out of.
Tell me a little bit about that.
Yes.
Okay.
So usually people, they're just in a situation where it's just, you know, that old saying,
the hamster that gets the squeaky wheel, they're just constantly on the same grind
trying to figure things out.
Well, I just like to step into their world and just invite them to look into a different
window.
Just let's step out of your world.
Let's look through a different window and let's just see what is possible down the road.
See things differently.
Exactly.
Yes.
And they don't really break that stalemate of just repeating pattern after pattern.
They get a different perspective.
They get to see things a little bit differently.
Yes.
A lot of success with that.
Usually out of our first session, they're leaving with just excitement and really honing
in on purpose and knowing that they've gotten some insight to where they can start doing
some things to see some immediate change.
I love that.
And I know you've, you've shared with me that often, even in the very first session, they're
experiencing change.
Tell me what got you into this field?
What got you fascinated with this?
Yeah, that's a, that's a big topic, relationships, right?
Exactly.
Yes.
Now my, my passion and my, my hone in place is out of my marriage.
I've been married for 40 years.
Wow.
Yeah, I know.
And yes, and a lot of that comes from out of that experience.
Married young.
Also, I am a ordained minister for 20 years and I have education and background, but I
just wanted to have a space where people can actually come and there, we're not just looking
at the fruit of the issue.
We're looking at the root of the issue.
Oh, I like that.
Yeah.
So not just looking at the fruit.
So the symptoms, the, the arguing, the lack of communication, those are symptoms.
You help them dig way down to the core and the root.
So you got married very young.
I did.
Yes, I did.
Was it always roses and unicorns?
Oh gosh, I wouldn't be a relationship coach.
What I would say about, about that is you're young and you really are learning yourself
when you marry young and then you unite with your forever partner.
And you, we went through some things, we're young in ministry.
We had a bout of infidelity and that was a turning point for me because I actually led
the married women's group.
And there was a-
This happened while you're leading a married group?
Yeah.
Married, yeah.
Oh, that was, it was a very trying time.
I, when all things came to a head, I was shocked.
You go through a place of shame, depression,
hopelessness, mistrust.
There's a lot of feelings, rage.
I mean, there's a lot of things that go on
and really what saved me and allowed me
not to go into a pit and stay in a pit was the Lord.
You know, this is really, I think,
hope for the person listening.
You know, many of us have faced that.
And I think a lot of times out there,
it's just common belief that you can't recover from that.
And here you recovered and it's not that you didn't go
through a lot of pain, but you not only recovered,
here you are 40 years later.
Yeah.
Amazing.
What was the biggest lessons you learned in your marriage?
Well, one thing that I learned, first of all,
is you want to work on yourself.
You have to allow yourself to face,
if you want to call it the demons or whatever in your life,
to be able to, in my case,
I had to look at my husband at one point
as someone that needed the Lord,
or I had to look at him through the eyes of Christ
so we can actually start to unpeel the layers
of our past, our generational things
that were brought into our marriage.
And so that was a starting point for me to focus on self,
focus on wanting to see the best out of my husband,
and then us uniting
and coming against the generational curses.
Wow.
And one thing I'll add to it is I learned
that the battle is not in the natural first,
the battle is in the spiritual realm.
Wow.
And so when you link up with that,
then you're partnering with God
and you're gonna get the results that you're looking for.
So you can really probably feel the empathy, the compassion.
You have a deep understanding.
You're not just coming, you know, textbook coaching,
you know, what the textbook says to do.
Exactly.
You're coming from personal experience and...
Yes, personal experience and also insight.
The Lord has really given me a gift
to allow, to listen to people
and to see really what's going on
because sometimes you're so in it, you really don't know.
And so it's having a listening ear and a passion, empathy.
I call it truth in love, straight, no chaser.
And you know that we've talked about
kind of just telling it like it is,
but helping someone to realize
that their lives can be better
and realize that when you take the principles of God
and you learn how to forgive
and you learn how to stand on the word of God
and really practice the principles,
you will get the results.
Wow.
So these are some things that you really do
in the relationship.
Helps them to know themselves,
help them to walk through forgiveness.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
Yeah, forgiveness.
It's just, you know, I'll focus on relationships
in this setting here.
And a lot of times, you know that old saying,
they're pointing the finger, but three are back at you.
And so it's really helping that person
identify their pitfalls
because once you can start working on yourself,
the rest is easy.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's so easy, right?
The splinter and the log,
it's so easy to see what the,
if that person would just change,
if you go to the relationship counselor,
fix my husband, right?
Exactly, yeah.
And yet it's us.
It begins with us.
As we change, then the circumstances begin to change.
Yes, because how we look at a situation,
our energy can draw that type of situation.
We're actually attracting a situation.
Exactly.
Did you say we sometimes attract a situation
we need to grow through our own blind spots?
Yes, yes, I agree with that, yes.
Yeah, and the more you,
if you don't get to a place where you want to change,
you will constantly keep revisiting those old wounds.
You're 10 steps down the road
and you look up and you're 20 steps back
because you let go of your future.
You let go of looking forward and you look back.
Going around the same mountain in the desert.
Yeah, that's Egypt.
Different person, different relationship,
but we're still going around the same relationship issues
we haven't mastered yet.
Yes, yes, that's like putting a Band-Aid on something
and not really wanting to go into surgery
and take care of it.
Yeah, wow.
I know.
That one thing that makes you a little unique is that God really speaks to you. I mean,
I'm not unique. He speaks to all of us, but it's not just typical coaching. You're really
hearing from God and for that relationship so that it's personalized, it's individual.
What does God show you? Does He reveal how to coach them or what it is that's the story
they're stuck in or what do you find? How does God work with you in this process?
Yeah, that's a good question. To me, every person is unique in their own way. And so,
to me, I go before the Lord, I pray, and He shows me, He gives me the insight and the knowledge
and understanding of what they need to move forward. And it's not just telling them what
they need. It's actually walking with them and holding their hand until they're strong enough
to stand on their own. And God has just allowed me to be able to have that trusting type of
personality where they can come in and we can really take care of some issues that have kept
them from their destiny. Wow, what an important work. As this is being filmed, we're in a kind
of a world crisis. We're in a pandemic. Do you feel like this is taking a toll on relationships?
Now suddenly people are forced living together, dealing with issues that maybe they could run away
from. I mean, what are you seeing during the pandemic? Yeah, a lot of that's going on. And
again, you're going to always hear me, you start inward and then outward. So you make a decision,
you decide, do you want to live in panic or would you like to live in peace? And once you learn or
you decide to live in peace, then it takes away all the anxiety and the fear and the doubt. Yeah,
there's a lot going on, but there is a way to be able to master each day. Sometimes if you're
looking too far down the road, you're into next week and you just need to get through today.
But there's a way to get through that. And a lot of it, you're going to always hear me,
I'm very foundational based with Christ, but He always has a plan for each day. And we just have
to follow that plan. So you're pulling them back from worrying about the future and let's focus on
today with Jesus. And I hear you saying, choose, that there's choice involved here. There's our
free will. Is that, is that what I hear you saying? Yeah, in a sense. Yes. Because sometimes
depending on how fearful and anxiety you're watching the news, you're watching a lot of stuff
going on. You, you're in a panic. You don't know wear a mask, not wear a mask, you know, do I go
outside? And so sometimes depending on your personality, yeah, you just may be a day at a time,
you know, and again, um, with, with help and, you know, support, you can get past the now,
you know, so that you can be able to, to, to live out.
Tell me a story. Tell me a story, a couple that you've worked with, share, share something.
Okay. I'll show this is a, I'll, I'll show this one. This one's a more recent,
and this is just how God works with me. Um, the short version is I went to, uh, pick up,
uh, some jewelry from a lady and we were kind of service talking and she said,
the Lord told me, told, told you, she said, asked you to pray for me.
And the lady was just empty. I, I, there was nothing, there was nothing. But then the Lord
just had me start speaking into her dry situation, not knowing her situation. And, um,
it was, uh, she was in a, in a, in a marriage that she just didn't, didn't know if she should
walk away or try to hold on. And so we, we, we talked about it, went through some things and I
did a followup like the next day, told her just some certain things to do. And it was like, she
had a fresh of breath there. Like she had, she hadn't taken a breath in so long. She felt she
was able. Yes. She was just breathe. Yes. Yeah. And so, um, just giving her some insight, some
things to start with herself, um, and then, um, not kind of just browbeat the husband, um, into
wanting things to be done a certain way. Um, um, she was able to, you know, get the success and,
and, and about a week and a half later, uh, she was, her mind was clear. She had made some firm
decisions to stay in the relationship and they're doing well. It's been about probably about four
months now and they're doing well. He's, he's rededicated himself back to the Lord. And, uh,
yeah, I have tons of story, but that one's the most recent. Yeah. Do you, do you see.
love that has gone cold, relationships where they're just,
you know, so many people just live together
and they're married, they're living together,
but there's just, there's nothing.
They're going through the motions.
You know, did you take out the trash?
Did you feed the kid?
Whatever.
But do you see where love just gets rekindled?
And I mean-
Oh gosh.
Oh yes.
Yeah, yeah.
There's stories with that.
I'm kind of pausing because,
I mean, it must bring so much joy to see that, right?
Oh, it does.
Yes, it really does.
To look and see that where people were say a year ago
and they're all cuddle bugged up now and, you know,
and, oh, my husband's doing this and my husband,
so yes, it is great to see that.
Yes.
Just to see that.
And also I like to see that they've taken the tools
and they have not put the tools down
that have helped them in their success.
So when you're coaching,
it's not just right there when you're inspiring them
and guiding them and holding their hand,
but you're giving them tools
that they will continue to use maybe for a lifetime, yes?
Yes, yes, yes.
There's so many things that you can do
to keep your marriage, you know, alive.
And it does, you know, people say,
they'll say, oh, you do 50, I do 50.
No, it's 100%.
It's 100%.
Both people have to do the buy-in.
And, you know, for my marriage,
there was a time where we had to take the D word out,
divorce, the Q word out, quit, you know,
all those things that gave the enemy in the spirit realm
ammunition to just continue to separate our marriage.
So a lot of the tools that I've used in my own home
is a lot of the tools that are easily and confidently
and guaranteed to work if you apply them.
I love that.
It's just such an important work.
I read, I think it was just in this past week,
I read an interesting quote and it said,
what you're talking about being all in,
it said, 99% is hard, 100% is easy.
And it's like what you're saying,
as long as there's that back door,
as long as there's that option, you know,
that those are still in your vocabulary,
life is much harder, I think.
That is what I would say a society word is.
What we've learned in biblical is
nothing's impossible with God.
And when we do it with Him, it's easy because we want to.
When it's hard, it's because we haven't gotten the buy,
we don't have the buy-in, we haven't bought into it.
And think about it,
when there's something that you really enjoy doing,
you do it, you do it to the fullest.
So I'm finding out too with relationships,
when you learn to be friends first, that's half the battle.
That's half the battle.
And another big thing in relationships is
we can be so condemning and put to a standard,
you know, the spouse can be put to such a higher standard
when in the male role, when they come home,
they just wanna take their hat off,
they don't really wanna have to be this leader type person.
And where it's not taught is where women
may need to learn the best way in a home
to make that home their castle, their husband's castle,
and that husband learning to treat that woman as that queen.
So the biblical point is husbands love your wives
like Christ loved the church.
Well, if they never learned how to love the church,
how can they love their wives?
And the last point on that is that it says
women or wives respect your husbands
and it's pleasing to the Lord.
So we have a lot,
there's a lot of just the basic things like that.
We're not taught these things.
And many of us grew up without a model.
And it's definitely not on television.
It's not in our school system.
You know, where do we really learn?
I mean, male, female differences, like you said,
we're expecting the men to be like our girlfriends.
They're not, they're men, they're wired differently,
but we're never taught that, you know?
And so I can see where the role of coaching,
you're doing so much.
Like you said, you're helping them
have a different perspective.
You're praying with them.
You're giving them new possibilities, understanding, tools.
What would you say to someone in a relationship right now
that is just hanging on?
They don't know what to do.
What would you say to them?
I would say to that person that is really struggling
and don't even want to get out of bed, you know,
just really want to just escape from being wife,
mother, all of that.
I would say there's hope. I enjoy doing what I do. I enjoy taking your hand and showing you a way to laugh again, enjoy life again.
Your yesterday does not always have to be your story. You can write a new story, and together we can write a new story.
So powerful. What a powerful word. Your yesterday does not have to be today. And I love that. Write a new story.
Wow. You are a fascinating woman of God doing a really great work, Yvonne Providence. How can they reach you? How can they work with you?
Great. So you can reach me at my email. It's ProvidenceLifeCoaching at Yahoo.com. I also have a podcast. It's Y.Providence Heart, Mind, Body, Soul.
And you can also reach me on Facebook at Providence Life Coaching. I would love to get to know you.
Providence Life Coaching. I have always loved your last name. I think it's just an amazing last name because I think about the providence of God.
And I think that it would be the providence of God that brings you into a relationship to help restore hope and healing.
And I think so many relationships can be not only just saved, and it's not just about surviving, but I believe you're restoring hope and love and joy.
Like you said, they're cuddle bugs again. So they go to Providence Life Coaching at Yahoo.com.
All right. So they just reach out to you by email. And do you offer some kind of free consultation or what do you do?
Yeah. So if you're interested in a free consultation, well, if you're interested in contacting me, I offer for the first 30 minutes a free consultation.
You fill out a questionnaire and we get to the heart of your situation and we move forward.
So even in 30 minutes, something can start to have a breakthrough.
Oh, yes. Yes.
Wonderful.
Definitely.
What an important work. I am so blessed that you are here and getting to have people be able to know about what you're doing.
I think that's just divine timing. It's divine providence. And so I'm so blessed that you're here. Thanks for being on the show.
Thank you for inviting me. God bless you.
And you.
Thank you.