WEBVTT

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Hi.

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Hey, Wendy.

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How are you?

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I'm good.

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There you are.

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Yes.

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How have you been?

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I've been pretty good.

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How about you?

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Been good.

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I've been working on a lot of things and I've been working on a lot of things.

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I've been working on a lot of things.

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How about you?

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I'm good.

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How about you?

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Been good.

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I do not remember the last time that we connected.

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Do you?

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No.

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It's been a while.

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Probably been longer than a year.

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Oh, okay.

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Wow.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Oh.

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Well, it's good to connect again.

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Good to see you.

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Thank you.

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You too.

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We're wearing the same color.

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That's right.

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That's right.

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We are.

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It's a pretty color.

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It's cheerful in the wintertime.

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Yes.

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I just got back from some exercising and so I am still in short sleeves even though it's

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that, well, it's a warmer day today, but here in Texas, it's still not as warm as Hawaii.

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Are y'all temperate year round or do y'all ever have to wear jackets during a certain

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season?

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It's pretty warm all year round.

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I would say like a pleasant California springtime all year round.

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Okay.

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Oh, how nice.

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Wow.

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Where it will fluctuate.

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It typically between 70 degrees and mid 80s, but sometimes it will drop down into the 60s

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and sometimes it will be like in the high 80s or 90s, but typically all year it's pretty

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comfortable.

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That's wild.

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I haven't been to Hawaii yet, but my best friend and her husband are actually in Hawaii

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right now.

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I don't remember, I think, I don't remember what island that they're on, but yeah.

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So, and I told her, I said, when I talked to her earlier this week, I said, well, I

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have a call with Hawaii later on.

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You're here vicariously.

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That's right.

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Exactly.

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Exactly.

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By two different people.

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So what's going on?

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How are you?

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Well, I felt that I would really benefit from the most recent class that you did.

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Oh, okay.

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Yeah.

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I just really appreciate what you offer.

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It really supports me and strengthens me.

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I'm trying to like put my history in a nutshell, but I didn't grow up Christian, but my cousins

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did.

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And I always wanted to learn more.

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I've always felt a really strong, just personal connection to Jesus, or I felt his presence

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and his teachings.

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Like he's trying to speak to me directly, but I, and then it's been so beneficial to

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kind of have your coaching because then I go to the Bible and like, oh, that he's teaching

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me saying that's in the Bible.

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So that's very comforting.

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Let's see.

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Oh, and I found a really good minister here.

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So I'm starting to go to church a little bit here where he teaches about your identity

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in Christ.

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And my cousins grew up Christian, but it, unfortunately, my aunt was just really hard

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on them in that way.

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Like always kind of nitpicking them.

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They never believed enough for her.

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It's almost like they never followed her way of Christianity enough for her.

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And it had a pretty serious detrimental effect on some of the boys, but the girls just have

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kind of risen above it and found their own connection.

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But it's just on my mom's side, my family, I love my family on my mom's side, just very

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beautiful.

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But anyway, I mean, it's a continuous process for me.

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Yeah.

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I'm closer in my heart to who I am in relationship, like who I truly am.

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But I realized today one of, like I've been praying, like, what is my hangups?

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What are, like, it's, you know, and they come to me.

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But today I was really, and I've already known this, but it's a deeper level of understanding

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that I was taught very strictly to follow my dad's authority.

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And my dad was not in alignment with a higher power.

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You know, he was very much on this earth, disconnected from God.

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And he was also very harsh with me.

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And so because I got that from a really early age, there was a part of me that constricted

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myself.

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And I feel it like in...

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feel it in my body where I constrict my light. So that I'm

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under, like a, an imbalanced power and imbalanced rule rather

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than the pure love of our Father. So, I mean, I'm, I'm

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getting awarenesses every day, but I really I know this is

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however long this session is, and you did a month long or more

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training. But whatever you feel you could pull from that, that

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would help strengthen me would be wonderful.

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Okay, well, what, what are some of the things that have been

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coming up? Like, particularly the past few months, that caused

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you to reach out? You'll remember when I when I said, Oh,

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I have this breakthrough program, you know, and you're

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really what made you think, well, I'm interested in that,

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you know, I want that. And as opposed to at other times where

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it wasn't the right time, like, was there anything in particular

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or if you've been like really struggling with any particular

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events that have come up or a lot of stress and anxiety, we're

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talking about like stuff that has affected you like, well, I

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mean, just period, but I meant like affected you like

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spiritually, but and then I don't remember this situation

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with your husband, I remember it being stressful. I just don't

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remember why. What does your husband is your husband not a

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believer? Or does he just not believe in the same way that

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you do? Or was there something about that?

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Yeah, you're so you're right on with that. My primary challenge

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right now is actually overcome the pretty severe trauma that

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he's inflected upon myself and my daughter. He ended up filing

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for divorce about a year and a half ago. But three years prior,

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he would say he wants it to work out. But behind my back, he was

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organizing everything to his benefit. And then he and so I

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got hit pretty hard with pretty severe manipulation, deception.

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And when I found out what he had done, I mean, I would I would

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feel it. And so of course, I would feel it like any woman

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would feel that regardless of how intuitive you are, but I'm

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actually really sensitive. And I would tell him and he would have

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an extremely quick lie. And, and there was times when I would

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talk to him, and it would be him, you know, just like his

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innocence, and then I would see a shadow pass over him. So I was

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dealing with some pretty harsh things. And I think that's why,

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like, it came to my mind, like, why did I slip into that? It's

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like, well, I so basically, to overcome a pretty abusive hub

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has been the last three years of our marriage, and then a divorce

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that was very heartbreaking for me, because I did. And this is

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really in alignment with with what you taught, like what we

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tried to do, like, you try to be good enough for the person

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that's hurting. Like, I was trying to be good enough for the

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person that was actually really harming me, and really would

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made a choice to be hurtful. You know, like, there's nothing I

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could do to make him be a good husband and a good father. But I

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tried, because it was my belief system to make it work. And then

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I had hope that he would come back to his more kinder self for

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our daughter. And so I became very exhausted and very weakened

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by this. And and then also, you know, to be fully like authentic

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pain causes anger. And so then you're stuck in this like, angry

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at the person that hurt you when I need to fully release it and

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overcome it, and not even be triggered by it, not even be

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like, this was his choice, but it doesn't. That's not who I am.

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Like, I'm not. I'm not the pain that he inflicted. And I'm not

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like what he did. I'm, I have had many moments of feeling the

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freedom of who I am, in union, rather than being suppressed

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under somebody who is very deceptive towards me.

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Yeah, yeah. Okay. Is the divorce finalized?

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It has been finalized. For over a year. It went very quickly.

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Yeah. So he filed. And I just, I, what I was what was the most

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important to me was that I have my daughter most of the time

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because of his imbalances. Yeah, I didn't want her on like in his

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energy field. So I got things moving very quickly. And I think

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it was in four months where things like this can go on for

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years. Yeah, I was just like, we Yeah, so after four months after

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he filed, I was like, Okay, I, I like literally worked my ass off

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for years for this person to try to make things

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work. And, and then I saw everything where he where I just

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mistrusted myself for years, like he was not planning on

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having a workout. You know, I see. Yeah. So, yeah, I'm sorry,

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go ahead.

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No, I mean, definitely the experience of exhaustion. That's

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why like, rush, like over breakthrough or overthrow,

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even out of this energetically, where I still have to communicate

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with him for scheduling with my daughter. And every time I do,

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I'm just like, correct. I feel like, yeah, yeah.

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Yeah, yeah. Well, thank you for catching me up on all that. I

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couldn't remember exactly what the situation was. I just

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remember that there was that was a factor. And, and that was

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before he had filed for divorce, because back then you weren't

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talking about it. You weren't talking about like, the

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possibility of divorce, like when you and I first talked

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about first connected, you know, the last time that I remember

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you and I talking. And so anyway, so that's new news to

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me. And I'm sorry for what it is you've been through. But I am

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glad that that this is the path that that had to be taken that

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it's finalized. Because then it gives you an opportunity to have

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some, some disconnect, you know, from it, you know, spiritually,

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you know, etc. I mean, you can always you can always the Lord

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always protects. And so you can always disconnect in those ways,

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even if you are physically married, that it's always, it's

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always just more empowering and, and, and health, health and

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healing promoting for everything to be final. So that's what I

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was just why I was asking. And so some of the things that we

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talked about in, in the breakthrough program was, so

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what it was really about is when I had done the rest intensive,

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like the really you done a mini one, right? You don't one that

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was like just a month, or something like that. I've done a

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number of, of many classes with you. Yeah, you have. Okay. Okay.

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I'm sorry. I can't remember everybody and how many they did.

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So okay, all right. But you, I have one that's, that's longer

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and more intensive, not like the main one. But I have only done

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that ever, every so often, I think I've only done a total of

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four of those, maybe. And anyway, so my point is that in

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there, I noticed that there, the majority of people would majorly

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shift. But there were every now and then some people that were

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really struggling. So you'd have some people whose lives

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completely turned around, then you have the majority of people

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which were in the middle. And then they, they, they had, they

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had major breakthroughs, I mean, enough where they were just in

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I'm talking about the rest intensive program, you know, my

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original program, they would have major breakthroughs, and

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they would end in various areas of their lives. But then you had

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some other people who had some breakthrough enough where they

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could like, see, okay, I think this is legitimate, you know, I'm

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believing in this, you know, I think that this is the Lord and

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whatever. And, and they, and it, at the very least, it increased

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their hope. And the fact that he was kind, and the fact that God

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was love, and it began to relieve a lot of pressure. And

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they were able to help. They were able to get, like I said,

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just some relief. But there were things that those people that

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I'm talking about, like, these people here, they were really

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struggling to get. Even when they would take multiple rest

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intensives with me, they were struggling to ever get past that

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initial point of, oh, I this is this is brings a lot of hope.

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And this is nice. And that God apparently is nicer to me. And

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so it makes me that I thought and so it makes me feel better.

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But they were struggling to actually shift into rest to the

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point where it was like making these major life changes, that

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they were watching all of their, their classmates, you know,

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experience. And, and I thought, okay, so what's the difference

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here? You know, what's going on in these different with these

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different people groups? And why can some people what is the

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hindrance that these some of these people are experiencing

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that the majority of the people aren't? And I and even the

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majority of the people that are in the middle, why what is

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hindering them from experiencing the greater fullness? And

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because I wanted to be able to help people remove those

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hindrances. And one of the things that I realized is,

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there's some very foundational things that we have to change

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about

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our belief about the Lord and our approach to him that some people, these people over here,

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were working in their life with the Lord to make these hard, major shifts in how they approach the

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Lord. And so they were getting these major transformations. These people, the vast majority

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of them in the middle, they were making some of them to a particular degree, and they were reaping

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the benefits of the amount that they were able to believe to that particular degree. But these people

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just had so much, and it's a weird word to use, but if you remember me saying that, and

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if we're not in rest, we're in an active state of resistance. These people just, it was like they

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were in a chronic state of resistance. They didn't know how to live life without fight,

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without battle, without pushing, without, and it's how they had survived this far.

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It's how they kept the faith, despite all of the bad things that had happened to them, was to

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actually not be open and receptive to the Lord, but to be in constant resistance, which is what

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it, which is what you're experiencing when you say that you just feel, you know, that you're,

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that you shut down. There was a phrase that you used, though, when you're talking about your dad,

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and you said there, what did you say that you feel in your body? Like that there's actually,

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I actually feel like muscularly that I constrict, like I constrict who I am. So

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with the belief, if I do that, I won't be hurt by my dad or my mom enforcing my dad's abuse. So yeah.

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Yes, exactly. So that, that's it. The way that I refer to it is people are living in a straight

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jacket, in a self-inflicted straight jacket. And I noticed that that was the common denominator

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in all of these people. And it, and the way that I could recognize it is that is how I had lived.

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And, and, and it wasn't until I began to discover the freedom that the Lord offers and chose by

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faith to believe that it was true and that he was offering it and then step into it.

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And then finally, I lived life so different. It wasn't until then that I could recognize how this

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felt. This felt like I was always keeping myself small. And then whenever there was a potential

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threat, I would try to make myself smaller internally, not externally, everything in me

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just like gets tighter. And it's a form of self-restraint is what you're doing. Yeah. And

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here's the major, here's the really bad problem with that. For one thing, it's rooted in the

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belief that we're bad, that we're the problem. Yeah. That we're bad, that we're wrong. We're

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the problem. I always, I believed growing up that I was evil and not because I did all these bad

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things, but I thought that was the conclusion I came to because I thought, and I trust me, I was

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a very, I was a perfectionist. I was this like perfect little obedient church going little girl.

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I mean, to the extreme. I was very obedient to my parents. So like I didn't, they didn't take

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me to church, but what they taught me like, how can I be perfect enough for them so I'm not hurt

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and I'm loved? Yes. And, and then this morning when I was waking up, I thought it is okay for

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me to identify with me as being good because a part of me fragmented and was like, I had to

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put on that identity of I am bad because that's what they were doing to me. You know, they were

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like, you did this, so you're bad. And when I was doing the best I could. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

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And anyway, they, you know, we, we put this label on ourselves, like I'm bad, I'm evil,

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I'm whatever. And we self-identify and the, and the reason it's so detrimental to us again,

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for a variety of reasons. One thing is God says that that is not true, but the other about us,

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but also God gives us the power to identify things. He gives us including ourselves. Now,

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here's the way that it works. God is the one who creates everything. So, so it's not an initiation

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that mankind makes of like, aren't we all powerful, we get to identify things. It's not that. It's

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always step two. God always

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does step one. So here's how we can see it in the Bible is when God created the world

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and created all the animals but he told Adam to name them. So there was a and then he told Adam

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to have dominion over creation. We identify creation. We're the ones who after God creates

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something whether it be creation, it be the physical laws, it could be laws of finance,

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laws of business, anything that's under the umbrella of God created including yourself

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which is you know your soul and your body because spirit came from God but our soul and our body

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those are aspects of us that didn't exist before creation and then when creation came along well

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then our soul and our body is our the aspect of ourselves that is created but our spirit

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came out of the Lord and in a manner of speaking could say it's not created meaning like it's not

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part of like this earth created you know anyway point is because it's an aspect of creation

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it's also an aspect that you've been given dominion over to identify when you and the

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reason I keep using the word identify I just now realized that I'm not explaining that you're

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naming it when you name something you're giving it meaning and you're giving it and you're basically

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declaring a like the characteristics that that thing is now supposed to carry out

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characteristics you're basically giving an instruction you're telling it who it is and how

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it's supposed to act out and so big and anyway so that's what our role is here on earth is we're

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supposed to have dominion now again we're not creating all of these things we're always step

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two God is always step one God creates all of these things and he says I want you to identify

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these things I want you to tell it who I've made it to be again we're step two not step one so even

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though we're declaring it we're declaring God's words after him we actually because creation was

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put below us and it's looking to mankind for instruction and for what it's supposed to believe

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about God etc we're the middle man between God and creation so God always does everything first

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God's the one who basically makes something what it is but now he gives us the authority to pass

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that declaration and that identity of that thing onto it by repeating God by in other words by

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repeating what God said by repeating what God made it to be and by saying it and speaking it

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so that that thing who's now look who looks to man in a manner of speaking creation looks to man

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not God to know what it's supposed to do now yes God's sovereign over everything and yes God tells

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creation what to do and yes creation listens to him but what I'm I'm just trying to explain this

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in simplistic terms of we have a particular dominion a particular power and authority

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and creation as we mature a sense of God as God teaches us how to be more like him then he gives

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us more power more authority for creation to listen to us when and do what we tell it to do

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and and you know be what we tell it to be and what God holds us responsible for

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is to only tell creation what God has declared over it that it is so again we're always step two

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but my point is that step two is vital it's important it's not like oh well since God

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already said that I don't need to know God's like I want you're my son I want you to come

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into agreement with me about it and when you do that's when things happen sure can I get around

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you if I need to and do it without you Adam you know or humanity yes I can but we're I built you

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for a relationship and I'm now teaching you how to do what I do and I'm teaching you basically how

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to be a gatekeeper for creation so you have the authority to choose what gets let into and to

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allow to speak to creation and what isn't so that's what I'm saying so the point is when we

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self-identify with these things that well I'm evil I'm bad and we try to constrict ourselves

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it's like Adam naming the animals you are very powerfully injecting negativity into yourself

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because you are saying you're telling yourself that you're something you're believing that you

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were something and your body and your soul are listening and then they start falling

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following that instruction.

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So that's how we get things like sicknesses,

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you know, et cetera.

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People that are very stressed,

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chronically stressed, chronically anxious,

340
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have, think very badly about themselves,

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think that they're very small people.

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In other words, that they don't have any significance.

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They tend to have horrible, horrible health.

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I was gonna say journeys,

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but they tend to have horrible health.

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And there are certain types of illnesses

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that even non-believing doctors,

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so in other words, non-Christian doctors,

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secular doctors have identified patterns

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of certain types of illnesses typically are created

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in people that struggle in these particular ways,

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or have had these particular traumas in their lives

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or whatever, so they know that those things are connected.

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So anyway, it's the body carrying out certain instructions.

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So I know that that was a lot to give you,

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but the reason I wanted to go into all that detail

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is to give you not just some information

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that just like, oh, that's interesting,

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no, but to show you where it's biblically based

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and why changing what we believe about ourselves

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and tell ourselves is so important.

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We won't change, like we literally are,

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we won't change, our lives won't change,

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our bodies and our souls won't change

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until we come in and start telling it something different.

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Not in a hopeful way of, oh, I really hope this is true.

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No, we have to choose to believe

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that we are who God says that we are.

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And then we give that to our soul and our body.

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We're like, no, no, no, soul and body, this is who we are.

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And I can tell you that because God said it

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and I've chosen that that's reality

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and therefore this is now who you are,

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so now start carrying this out, start living like this.

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You're now identifying, you're now agreeing with God

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and identifying yourself now to be who God says that you are.

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You're now naming yourself who God says that you are

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and then you will start living out that new name.

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So what you're talking about,

380
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that self-restraint and whatever, it's self-inflicting

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and all you have to do is now start doing the opposite.

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I say all because it's a very simple thing

383
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but it doesn't mean that it's easy.

384
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It's not complicated, it's very simple.

385
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We've been telling it one thing,

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we need to now actually be choosing and believing in faith

387
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that it's something different

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and the results are life-changingly powerful.

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We're actually living out whatever it is that we told her,

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whatever, however it is that we've identified ourselves as.

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So if we want something to be different,

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we need to identify ourselves as the different thing.

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In other words, what God says that we are.

394
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Anyway, so before I go on, is all of that making sense?

395
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Yes, yes, every word was reaching me

396
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and I, yeah, very appreciated.

397
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I, yeah, no, this is perfect.

398
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And anywhere in scripture that supports that

399
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would be amazing and I, yeah, I'm just grateful.

400
00:28:33.440 --> 00:28:35.640
I'm grateful, it makes a lot of sense

401
00:28:35.640 --> 00:28:40.640
because it explains something in a different way

402
00:28:43.080 --> 00:28:44.280
at a much deeper level

403
00:28:44.280 --> 00:28:46.960
that I maybe understood at the surface.

404
00:28:47.000 --> 00:28:48.640
Okay, okay, well, good.

405
00:28:48.640 --> 00:28:52.360
And actually, before I go on, let me grab something

406
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because I think there might be some scripture verses

407
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in there, just a second.

408
00:28:55.960 --> 00:28:56.800
Okay.

409
00:29:09.880 --> 00:29:13.280
Okay, so also, go ahead.

410
00:29:13.280 --> 00:29:15.400
Is this recorded?

411
00:29:15.400 --> 00:29:16.240
Yeah.

412
00:29:16.240 --> 00:29:17.920
Yeah, you'll get a recording of it, yeah.

413
00:29:17.920 --> 00:29:18.760
Okay, yeah.

414
00:29:20.520 --> 00:29:22.480
Yeah, I do this so that people can,

415
00:29:23.760 --> 00:29:25.680
because otherwise it's a lot of information

416
00:29:25.680 --> 00:29:27.920
and people are like, I can't remember it all.

417
00:29:29.000 --> 00:29:30.920
Okay, I'm trying to see if there's anything else

418
00:29:30.920 --> 00:29:34.920
before I wanna get to this one verse that I found.

419
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So again, names are very important to the Lord

420
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and he changes people's name.

421
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He's changed people's names in the Bible

422
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as they needed to be identified differently.

423
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Like you think of Abram and Sarah,

424
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I was changed to Abraham and Sarah

425
00:29:50.560 --> 00:29:52.560
at the time of God's covenant with them.

426
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When God made a covenant with them,

427
00:29:54.120 --> 00:29:57.000
well, then he's like, I'm gonna change your names.

428
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That's a serious deal, my goodness.

429
00:29:59.320 --> 00:30:00.160
I think with the-

430
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:01.760
Two of them were in their nineties,

431
00:30:01.760 --> 00:30:02.960
or at least Abraham was.

432
00:30:02.960 --> 00:30:06.200
I think that Sarah was maybe in her eighties or something.

433
00:30:06.200 --> 00:30:08.240
But anyway, I mean, they were very old

434
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and then God changes, you know, their names.

435
00:30:10.880 --> 00:30:12.280
It's very significant,

436
00:30:13.360 --> 00:30:15.680
especially because back then,

437
00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:17.080
names were always important,

438
00:30:17.080 --> 00:30:19.200
but back then they didn't have last names.

439
00:30:19.200 --> 00:30:20.240
Remember they were always,

440
00:30:20.240 --> 00:30:22.680
so Abraham, son of so-and-so, son of so-and-so,

441
00:30:22.680 --> 00:30:24.200
and then that's how they identified themselves.

442
00:30:24.200 --> 00:30:27.160
So it was their only name, and it's very important.

443
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And because God knew that, you know,

444
00:30:29.440 --> 00:30:32.240
it carried in a name as someone's identity.

445
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So he says, your identity has changed

446
00:30:33.800 --> 00:30:35.960
now that you've got a covenant with me.

447
00:30:35.960 --> 00:30:37.320
And so I'm gonna change your name

448
00:30:37.320 --> 00:30:39.880
to reflect your new identity.

449
00:30:39.880 --> 00:30:41.720
He did the same thing with Jacob.

450
00:30:41.720 --> 00:30:44.440
When Jacob wrestled with the Lord

451
00:30:44.440 --> 00:30:46.840
and, you know, wrestled with an angel,

452
00:30:46.840 --> 00:30:51.360
and then it says in Genesis 32, 28,

453
00:30:51.360 --> 00:30:54.560
then the man, meaning the angel man,

454
00:30:54.600 --> 00:30:58.360
said, your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,

455
00:30:58.360 --> 00:31:00.400
because you have struggled with God

456
00:31:00.400 --> 00:31:03.160
and with humans and have overcome.

457
00:31:03.160 --> 00:31:07.240
So Israel, the name Israel means he who struggles with God.

458
00:31:07.240 --> 00:31:09.400
So what God was doing there is he's like,

459
00:31:09.400 --> 00:31:12.040
okay, this was a major threshold

460
00:31:12.040 --> 00:31:17.040
and a milestone in your relationship with me, Jacob.

461
00:31:17.520 --> 00:31:21.360
The major milestone, because you have wrestled with me

462
00:31:21.360 --> 00:31:23.680
and you've overcome.

463
00:31:23.720 --> 00:31:27.160
And your, and not only our relationship,

464
00:31:27.160 --> 00:31:30.280
but also your generations after you,

465
00:31:30.280 --> 00:31:34.280
there will be my firstborn son.

466
00:31:34.280 --> 00:31:37.400
And I could call that anything I want to.

467
00:31:37.400 --> 00:31:40.880
And I'm gonna call that he who struggles with God.

468
00:31:40.880 --> 00:31:42.680
And that's one of the things in the breakthrough,

469
00:31:42.680 --> 00:31:44.800
in the breakthrough program that I talked about,

470
00:31:44.800 --> 00:31:46.880
it's the very first session,

471
00:31:46.880 --> 00:31:50.960
about the importance of the struggling journey

472
00:31:50.960 --> 00:31:53.640
with the Lord and why it's not bad.

473
00:31:53.640 --> 00:31:55.840
It means that God's answering your prayers.

474
00:31:56.760 --> 00:31:58.720
But anyway, so that's a longer conversation

475
00:31:58.720 --> 00:32:00.080
that we might be able to get into,

476
00:32:00.080 --> 00:32:04.400
but I start out the program with this verse

477
00:32:04.400 --> 00:32:09.400
to emphasize the fact that God considers names

478
00:32:10.920 --> 00:32:15.080
to be very important because every time it's spoken,

479
00:32:15.080 --> 00:32:18.120
it's declaring that thing about the person.

480
00:32:19.120 --> 00:32:21.720
And like, say for instance, if somebody's name was Joy,

481
00:32:21.720 --> 00:32:23.280
because that's easy for us in English

482
00:32:23.280 --> 00:32:26.840
because we use that word in the English language,

483
00:32:26.840 --> 00:32:29.200
but we don't use the word Ashley in the English language,

484
00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:31.320
you know, for anything other than a name,

485
00:32:31.320 --> 00:32:32.640
but we use the word Joy.

486
00:32:32.640 --> 00:32:34.120
And in other cultures,

487
00:32:34.120 --> 00:32:37.320
like the culture that I grew up in overseas in Turkey,

488
00:32:37.320 --> 00:32:40.920
their names are all actually words in their language.

489
00:32:40.920 --> 00:32:42.720
And they, so my point is,

490
00:32:42.720 --> 00:32:45.840
they pick a word in their language that means something,

491
00:32:45.840 --> 00:32:47.600
that they like the meaning of that

492
00:32:48.040 --> 00:32:49.440
and that person's name.

493
00:32:49.440 --> 00:32:51.040
But in English, it's harder for us

494
00:32:51.040 --> 00:32:52.880
because we only, a lot of us don't even know

495
00:32:52.880 --> 00:32:54.480
what our names mean, right?

496
00:32:54.480 --> 00:32:57.120
So we all have to like look it up in a book, right?

497
00:32:57.120 --> 00:33:02.120
But back in Hebrew, they all knew what their names mean

498
00:33:03.040 --> 00:33:06.120
because of how the letters work together and all of that.

499
00:33:06.120 --> 00:33:10.040
But point is, your name is always carrying meaning.

500
00:33:10.040 --> 00:33:13.760
And every time that you say that, say that name,

501
00:33:13.760 --> 00:33:17.480
you are declaring that thing about over the person.

502
00:33:18.320 --> 00:33:19.160
And over and over and over.

503
00:33:19.160 --> 00:33:22.280
So for thousands of years,

504
00:33:22.280 --> 00:33:24.400
every time their enemy said their name,

505
00:33:24.400 --> 00:33:25.760
every time they said their name,

506
00:33:25.760 --> 00:33:29.840
every time somebody reads the name Israel in scripture,

507
00:33:29.840 --> 00:33:30.960
every time they talk about it,

508
00:33:30.960 --> 00:33:32.760
every time it's on the news,

509
00:33:32.760 --> 00:33:36.240
people are putting out the phrase,

510
00:33:36.240 --> 00:33:37.440
he who struggles with God,

511
00:33:37.440 --> 00:33:38.600
he who struggles with God,

512
00:33:38.600 --> 00:33:39.920
he who struggles with God.

513
00:33:39.920 --> 00:33:42.240
And so the more that you put it out there,

514
00:33:42.240 --> 00:33:43.720
remember what we just talked about,

515
00:33:43.720 --> 00:33:46.360
the more instruction it's giving to creation,

516
00:33:46.880 --> 00:33:48.840
the more information and truth

517
00:33:48.840 --> 00:33:50.040
that it's speaking to creation

518
00:33:50.040 --> 00:33:52.240
and then creation's therefore gonna respond to it.

519
00:33:52.240 --> 00:33:55.400
So the thing is that,

520
00:33:55.400 --> 00:33:56.360
that's another example,

521
00:33:56.360 --> 00:33:58.680
because you were asking examples in scripture

522
00:33:58.680 --> 00:34:01.720
of what it is that I'm talking about.

523
00:34:01.720 --> 00:34:04.000
Names are very, very important.

524
00:34:04.000 --> 00:34:07.440
And in other words, declare it because of their meaning.

525
00:34:07.440 --> 00:34:11.400
So you are declaring a meaning of everything

526
00:34:11.400 --> 00:34:13.199
over and over and over again.

527
00:34:13.199 --> 00:34:15.520
And then it will begin to,

528
00:34:15.520 --> 00:34:17.960
and basically you're giving it instruction.

529
00:34:18.920 --> 00:34:20.000
How do I explain that?

530
00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:25.000
You are reaffirming that as an actual truth.

531
00:34:25.360 --> 00:34:28.040
You're declaring that as a truth over the thing.

532
00:34:28.040 --> 00:34:30.239
Like if you call a child Joy,

533
00:34:30.239 --> 00:34:32.239
and that's the child's name,

534
00:34:32.239 --> 00:34:34.760
every time that child's name is spoken,

535
00:34:34.760 --> 00:34:37.880
Joy is being spoken over that person to be joyful.

536
00:34:37.880 --> 00:34:40.159
It's calling them basically to be joyful.

537
00:34:40.159 --> 00:34:41.760
It's declaring something about them

538
00:34:41.760 --> 00:34:44.920
and inviting them to step into the meaning of that name.

539
00:34:44.920 --> 00:34:47.960
So anyway, the same thing with Jacob there,

540
00:34:47.960 --> 00:34:49.520
where God was changing his name.

541
00:34:49.520 --> 00:34:52.520
And just so that I don't leave this as like a question mark,

542
00:34:52.520 --> 00:34:55.199
the reason that this name was so important

543
00:34:55.199 --> 00:34:59.720
is that the struggle with God is a very intimate

544
00:34:59.720 --> 00:35:00.560
and very human.

545
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.200
special place. It's not a bad place. So if you're struggling, for instance, you know,

546
00:35:05.200 --> 00:35:08.240
the Lord, if you're like, Oh, you know what? I really like to be closer to him.

547
00:35:09.040 --> 00:35:14.960
Haven't heard him in a while. Everything feels dry and dead or desert like, and I need breakthrough

548
00:35:14.960 --> 00:35:20.240
or whatever. But again, the name of the breakthrough program, it's usually, it was attracting people who

549
00:35:20.240 --> 00:35:25.840
feel stuck. At some point, all of these people who were going through the program and they couldn't

550
00:35:25.840 --> 00:35:31.200
get past a certain point, they feel stuck and they just feel not just left behind. They feel

551
00:35:31.200 --> 00:35:38.240
abandoned by the Lord or worse. Sometimes they feel martyred by God. They feel like they were

552
00:35:38.240 --> 00:35:42.800
brought into the desert to die. It's like, Lord, why would you do this horrible, awful, hurtful

553
00:35:42.800 --> 00:35:48.480
thing to me? When I've asked you for something good, you told me that if I asked you for bread,

554
00:35:48.480 --> 00:35:52.960
you wouldn't give me a stone. Why did you send me into the desert to die? This is what, you know,

555
00:35:52.960 --> 00:35:57.840
I said, I wanted to get closer to you. Why do I feel further from you? Anyway,

556
00:35:58.880 --> 00:36:04.480
that the struggle, the struggle is the desert place. The struggle, our struggle with God is

557
00:36:04.480 --> 00:36:08.640
the wilderness. And God has shown us over and over throughout scripture that the desert and

558
00:36:08.640 --> 00:36:14.160
the wilderness is the place where we meet God. So if we're wanting to meet God, God will bring

559
00:36:14.160 --> 00:36:19.040
us into the desert. He'll bring us into a place of struggle because he said that my intimate place,

560
00:36:19.680 --> 00:36:25.120
that's where his mountain is. And when he could name his child, you know, his first born,

561
00:36:25.120 --> 00:36:31.520
his favorite Israel, anything he said, me, he, who struggles with God. And here's why it's,

562
00:36:31.520 --> 00:36:38.800
it's an intimate place is because you're facing him and you're wrestling it out. When I was,

563
00:36:40.400 --> 00:36:45.920
I was really mad at God. Oh, when was this? I didn't know. It was probably about 15 years ago.

564
00:36:45.920 --> 00:36:51.760
I was really, really, really mad at God. And he told me, and I didn't know I was to the point

565
00:36:51.760 --> 00:36:56.960
where I finally was so mad at God that I was allowing myself to be mad. And I recognized it.

566
00:36:56.960 --> 00:37:03.280
So I went to the Lord and I, and, um, well, I say I went to the Lord. It was like, I could sense that

567
00:37:03.280 --> 00:37:09.840
he was just standing right there and it was just so mad. And how could he have hurt me like this?

568
00:37:09.840 --> 00:37:14.160
How could he have brought me to this point? I don't know what to do. I don't know what to believe

569
00:37:14.160 --> 00:37:20.240
anymore. And he, and he, and he spoke not audibly, but you know, I knew what he was saying.

570
00:37:20.240 --> 00:37:26.000
And he said, Ashley, he said, you can, you can be mad at me. He said, that's okay. I understand.

571
00:37:26.000 --> 00:37:30.640
You're just, you're, you're going through time. You're mad at me there. You've got questions.

572
00:37:30.640 --> 00:37:37.920
You've got, um, uh, you've got animosity towards me. You don't understand. You want it reconciled.

573
00:37:37.920 --> 00:37:42.800
You can't figure it out. He's like, I get that. He said, I'm fine with that.

574
00:37:43.600 --> 00:37:49.040
Here's what I'm asking you to not do. He said, whatever you do, he said, don't turn your back

575
00:37:49.040 --> 00:37:54.640
on me. When you're mad. He said, when you struggle, he said, I want you to struggle with me

576
00:37:55.440 --> 00:38:01.920
and struggling with God does not mean struggling against him in resistance as if he's the enemy

577
00:38:01.920 --> 00:38:07.600
and it's on in this opposition, but rather it's struggling with him as in you're in this

578
00:38:07.600 --> 00:38:16.240
wrestling match with him. You're both active, equal participants in what you're trying to resolve.

579
00:38:17.120 --> 00:38:23.040
And what that means is you're fighting for the relationship. You're fighting together

580
00:38:23.040 --> 00:38:27.760
for the relationship. That's what that means. That's what the wrestling, that's what the

581
00:38:27.760 --> 00:38:33.760
struggling, it's not, and you're bound and determined to do it together as opposed to

582
00:38:34.320 --> 00:38:40.080
turning your back on the one that you're struggling with and abandoning them and trying to think,

583
00:38:40.080 --> 00:38:45.120
and trying to think that somewhere out here, you're going to find a resolution to this struggle.

584
00:38:45.120 --> 00:38:52.800
You're not. So the way that you save relationship is you wrestle the, the, the problem

585
00:38:53.760 --> 00:38:59.920
out with the person, you know, including the Lord and you navigate it together and whatever.

586
00:38:59.920 --> 00:39:05.840
That's why the struggle is intimate. You are right there with him. And the two of you are

587
00:39:05.840 --> 00:39:11.600
wrestling the thing out together. Kind of think of it similar to the idea of a husband and wife,

588
00:39:11.600 --> 00:39:17.840
how they're always told that you're supposed to, um, that you're not supposed to consider each

589
00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:23.680
other, the enemy. You're supposed to consider this problem that, that, that what y'all are

590
00:39:23.680 --> 00:39:28.560
struggling with is a problem outside of you, that the two of you need to team up together

591
00:39:28.560 --> 00:39:33.920
and decide how you're going to handle this. And it could be that they have a certain character

592
00:39:33.920 --> 00:39:37.920
issue and, or they're handling things in a specific way in the home and you're handling,

593
00:39:37.920 --> 00:39:40.800
and when you think that things should be handled differently in the home or whatever,

594
00:39:40.800 --> 00:39:45.440
instead of thinking this person's the problem and how they're doing it, or, and they're thinking

595
00:39:45.440 --> 00:39:51.200
this person's the problem and this, and they're, and we just need to fix one or the other person.

596
00:39:51.760 --> 00:39:56.720
They say that you're supposed to think of it as a problem outside of the you,

597
00:39:56.720 --> 00:39:59.840
and that the two of you are trying to wrestle.

598
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.840
with and figure out together.

599
00:40:02.120 --> 00:40:05.400
And it's that same thing with that same idea with the Lord is we're not

600
00:40:05.400 --> 00:40:10.240
supposed to treat each other, you know, him as like the enemy, but it's like,

601
00:40:10.240 --> 00:40:12.720
no, God, I'm going to grab you.

602
00:40:13.360 --> 00:40:16.480
And I'm not going to let you go until we figure this thing out.

603
00:40:17.640 --> 00:40:21.040
But you insist on wrestling it with him.

604
00:40:21.040 --> 00:40:23.640
And he's like, Hey, I'm right there with you and we'll do it together.

605
00:40:24.240 --> 00:40:29.520
And even though you're mad at him, even though you're like, God, this is a

606
00:40:29.520 --> 00:40:31.560
part of your character, I do not understand.

607
00:40:32.480 --> 00:40:38.880
So what you're wrestling with is, is always some aspect of your relationship.

608
00:40:39.280 --> 00:40:44.120
Some aspect of how something that happened doesn't seem to reconcile

609
00:40:44.120 --> 00:40:47.640
with who you thought God was and what you thought he would do, you know,

610
00:40:47.640 --> 00:40:55.920
whatever that you choose him over the problem that you need him, that the two

611
00:40:55.920 --> 00:40:57.880
of you are going to wrestle through the problem.

612
00:40:58.840 --> 00:41:04.760
The, the reason that the struggle is so, is so important and vital and special

613
00:41:04.760 --> 00:41:09.240
is because what it means is you're choosing him over the problem.

614
00:41:09.480 --> 00:41:09.920
Now, sure.

615
00:41:09.920 --> 00:41:11.160
What are you doing with him?

616
00:41:11.400 --> 00:41:16.600
You are wrestling out the problem, but by not turning on him and abandon

617
00:41:16.600 --> 00:41:20.560
and abandoning him and whatever, you're actually choosing him over the problem.

618
00:41:21.080 --> 00:41:24.520
And the two of you together are going to figure it out as opposed to rejecting

619
00:41:24.520 --> 00:41:26.560
him in favor of figuring out the problem.

620
00:41:27.560 --> 00:41:33.800
So anyway, that's a lot of information, but that was what he was declaring over

621
00:41:33.840 --> 00:41:38.680
Jacob, and that was my introduction to that through the break to the breakthrough

622
00:41:38.680 --> 00:41:45.160
program was, Hey, what everybody is in right now, this struggle, this, this

623
00:41:45.160 --> 00:41:49.560
wilderness experience in this desert, where we feel abandoned by God, we feel

624
00:41:49.560 --> 00:41:53.480
stuck like, God, I have begged to get out of this for a very long time.

625
00:41:54.320 --> 00:41:55.360
Why have I not done it?

626
00:41:55.800 --> 00:41:56.880
You know, why hasn't it happened?

627
00:41:56.880 --> 00:41:57.760
Why haven't you saved me?

628
00:41:57.760 --> 00:41:59.600
Why haven't helped me figure this out?

629
00:42:00.200 --> 00:42:01.360
You know, why haven't you met me?

630
00:42:01.400 --> 00:42:02.360
Why aren't you talking to me?

631
00:42:02.360 --> 00:42:05.320
Why don't you, and everybody feels stuck for different reasons and whatever.

632
00:42:05.320 --> 00:42:08.840
So I'm just like mentioning lots of them or this thing of like what you're

633
00:42:08.840 --> 00:42:13.280
talking about, or you've lived in self-restraint so long, how do you break

634
00:42:13.280 --> 00:42:18.040
out, how do you break out from, because this is, this is, this leads to nothing

635
00:42:18.040 --> 00:42:22.400
but dryness and literally nothing, but death that is literally leading to death.

636
00:42:22.720 --> 00:42:25.240
So how do you actually get out of that?

637
00:42:25.240 --> 00:42:27.880
And, and you're, and you know, you're just asking the Lord about it.

638
00:42:28.280 --> 00:42:34.840
Well, um, this, this place is a very intimate and special place to the Lord

639
00:42:34.840 --> 00:42:37.440
because he's like, this is the closest that you get to me.

640
00:42:37.440 --> 00:42:42.120
This is where I offer you myself is in these places, because I want

641
00:42:42.120 --> 00:42:43.600
to show you that you don't.

642
00:42:43.760 --> 00:42:48.120
That's why the desert always feels like there's, there's nothing there

643
00:42:48.800 --> 00:42:52.240
because God's like, you're so reliant on all of these other things

644
00:42:52.280 --> 00:42:54.520
of the world to make you feel better.

645
00:42:55.200 --> 00:42:59.560
That when you feel all this dryness, because all he allows all of these

646
00:42:59.560 --> 00:43:01.240
things to be pulled out of your life.

647
00:43:02.320 --> 00:43:06.960
He means for you to then build, be fulfilled by him alone,

648
00:43:06.960 --> 00:43:08.280
because there's nothing else.

649
00:43:09.120 --> 00:43:12.520
So it's not that, Hey, I want you to now do without all of these, these

650
00:43:12.520 --> 00:43:17.600
things, um, and I just want you to choose me instead, God's just, God's like,

651
00:43:17.600 --> 00:43:21.560
no, I want you to, yeah, I want you to choose me, but you need to understand

652
00:43:21.560 --> 00:43:26.240
that you're, I will fill you and provide for the needs that you were

653
00:43:26.240 --> 00:43:27.960
choosing to be filled elsewhere.

654
00:43:28.280 --> 00:43:31.760
You'll so in other words, with all these things taken away, God's not

655
00:43:31.760 --> 00:43:35.000
trying to kill us and deny us of being a fulfilling our needs.

656
00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:38.000
He's like, yeah, I want to teach you how to get them somewhere else.

657
00:43:38.760 --> 00:43:40.560
It'll be much more fulfilling and whatever.

658
00:43:40.800 --> 00:43:45.200
So it feels hard because that transition of how do I stop relying

659
00:43:45.200 --> 00:43:47.120
on this and start relying on him?

660
00:43:47.520 --> 00:43:48.640
How do I get it from him?

661
00:43:48.840 --> 00:43:50.080
I've never even seen him.

662
00:43:50.880 --> 00:43:52.960
You know, how do I actually do that?

663
00:43:53.000 --> 00:43:54.560
Where do I go to get that?

664
00:43:54.560 --> 00:43:57.840
How do I, you know, I've asked the Lord and that still hasn't

665
00:43:57.840 --> 00:43:59.360
worked, it still hasn't come.

666
00:43:59.480 --> 00:44:00.480
So what am I missing?

667
00:44:00.480 --> 00:44:01.400
What am I supposed to do?

668
00:44:01.400 --> 00:44:04.320
And we feel very lost and whatever we can get very frustrated.

669
00:44:04.880 --> 00:44:08.280
But my, the point is God says that he'll provide it.

670
00:44:08.400 --> 00:44:12.840
So we have to choose that it's true and just continue to seek him of like how,

671
00:44:12.840 --> 00:44:19.200
how to do it, but my whole point is to just, to, is to help us treasure the

672
00:44:19.240 --> 00:44:21.280
struggle instead of villainize it.

673
00:44:21.840 --> 00:44:25.880
And the more that you treasure the time of the struggle, I don't

674
00:44:25.880 --> 00:44:27.880
mean that the pain that comes up.

675
00:44:28.480 --> 00:44:33.320
I just mean treasure this time and know that it means you're highly favored

676
00:44:33.320 --> 00:44:38.800
of the Lord will allow this time will allow you to more smoothly go through.

677
00:44:39.360 --> 00:44:44.160
Uh, this time and therefore the pain can sometimes not be as bad.

678
00:44:44.640 --> 00:44:48.640
And also you'll move through it faster because what we're really talking

679
00:44:48.640 --> 00:44:54.560
about is stopping the resistance is don't resist the wilderness.

680
00:44:54.600 --> 00:44:56.440
Don't resist the season.

681
00:44:56.520 --> 00:44:58.080
Don't resist the struggle.

682
00:44:58.120 --> 00:44:59.920
Just allow it to just be, and you'll.

683
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.920
go through it faster. And then if you treasure what God that this is a gift

684
00:45:04.920 --> 00:45:09.120
from God and you receive it from God, it's like, Oh God, wow, this is so sweet

685
00:45:09.120 --> 00:45:13.960
that you love me like this. So in other words, Lord, you're giving me love. It

686
00:45:13.960 --> 00:45:18.840
doesn't mean you love what's happening and how and all of the circumstances. I

687
00:45:18.840 --> 00:45:22.720
don't mean you have to do that. It means you're choosing to look past the

688
00:45:22.720 --> 00:45:29.040
circumstances and give it a different meaning than choosing that this that

689
00:45:29.040 --> 00:45:36.120
these things that are that happen in this struggle are and are like bad or

690
00:45:36.120 --> 00:45:40.840
evil and it mean God hate me. It means God hates me. Looking past all that and

691
00:45:40.840 --> 00:45:48.040
realizing no because I'm here, that means that God is loving me. Not that God is

692
00:45:48.040 --> 00:45:51.840
doing bad things to you. No, no, no. But that God is loving me and he's gonna

693
00:45:51.840 --> 00:45:55.560
help me through all of these bad experiences that I'm that I have right

694
00:45:55.560 --> 00:45:59.560
now. All of these struggle, all this pain and whatever. But the fact that I'm here

695
00:45:59.560 --> 00:46:05.200
means that God is answering my prayer so that they'll go away. Because remember,

696
00:46:05.200 --> 00:46:09.080
whenever we're going through struggle and all of the pain comes up and we're

697
00:46:09.080 --> 00:46:14.800
facing all of this stuff, you have to feel it and experience it in order for

698
00:46:14.800 --> 00:46:19.840
it to go away. I know we hate that. We absolutely hate it. But it's the way that it

699
00:46:19.840 --> 00:46:25.360
goes. And so what happens is, you know, we're used to it. Let me put it like this. Like you

700
00:46:25.360 --> 00:46:28.760
have an emotion that comes up. Like say for instance, anger. And you think, oh I'm

701
00:46:28.760 --> 00:46:35.080
not supposed to be angry. So we think that, so we try to cut it off and think

702
00:46:35.080 --> 00:46:40.240
good thoughts about the person and try to like change things or whatever. And I

703
00:46:40.240 --> 00:46:44.640
don't know, maybe or or stop thinking that way and then try to overcome it by

704
00:46:44.640 --> 00:46:47.840
doing something really nice for the person. But if we're not actually

705
00:46:47.840 --> 00:46:52.680
dealing with the anger, all we're doing is we're stifling it. Because we don't

706
00:46:52.720 --> 00:46:58.080
feel it anymore. We think, oh see, I overcame. I'm a good Christian. I made the

707
00:46:58.080 --> 00:47:02.840
good choice. No, we didn't. We stifled it. So not only is it still there, but it's

708
00:47:02.840 --> 00:47:09.120
now festering. And it's now creating poison in our soul and our body that

709
00:47:09.120 --> 00:47:13.400
eventually over time will manifest itself in something horrible. Right? And

710
00:47:13.400 --> 00:47:16.800
it's some kind of thing that is because but what we're doing is we're put it by

711
00:47:16.800 --> 00:47:21.200
putting keeping poison in us. We're self-destructing. We're literally like

712
00:47:21.200 --> 00:47:25.520
trying to like harm ourselves. Right? So in other words, in order for that anger,

713
00:47:25.520 --> 00:47:28.480
in order to deal with that anger, what we need to do is we need to allow that

714
00:47:28.480 --> 00:47:35.160
anger to come up and we need to feel it in its fullness in order for it to come

715
00:47:35.160 --> 00:47:39.520
out. Because it's kind of like horrible expression, a horrible way to think about

716
00:47:39.520 --> 00:47:45.080
it. But think of it kind of like having diarrhea or having or vomiting. It's in

717
00:47:45.080 --> 00:47:49.280
the let's look at vomiting because we'll talk about it coming up. It in order to

718
00:47:49.280 --> 00:47:54.520
feel better, it has to come up and out. So we none of us like throwing up. But

719
00:47:54.520 --> 00:47:57.560
when we do, we know we're eventually going to feel better. Right? Because the

720
00:47:57.560 --> 00:48:03.320
bad stuff that's in us is now out. It's the same thing with the emotion. We have

721
00:48:03.320 --> 00:48:10.040
to let that come up in order to be able to let it go. If we will let it come up

722
00:48:10.040 --> 00:48:15.800
and fester on it and feed and whatever, that's not good. That's good. But to let

723
00:48:15.800 --> 00:48:22.640
it come up and now face it fully and let it go, that gets it out. That is

724
00:48:22.640 --> 00:48:28.240
overcoming because it's choosing to not keep the thing. It's a no, that is not a

725
00:48:28.240 --> 00:48:32.000
part of me. That is not who God says that I am and that I'm not keeping that thing.

726
00:48:32.000 --> 00:48:37.160
That thing's going. And now we fully face it and deal with that. And I don't know

727
00:48:37.160 --> 00:48:42.320
how on earth I got on that subject. But anyway, maybe it was like the struggle

728
00:48:42.360 --> 00:48:46.200
and like experiencing pain. Oh, that's what it was. Experiencing the pain and

729
00:48:46.200 --> 00:48:51.240
the emotion, allowing fully facing what it is that you're going through instead

730
00:48:51.240 --> 00:48:56.120
of ignoring it and thinking, I shouldn't feel like this. I shouldn't. I shouldn't

731
00:48:56.120 --> 00:49:00.600
be thinking these things. And because I'm going through this horrible struggle

732
00:49:00.600 --> 00:49:03.720
that all this stuff is coming up, I should be a better person. I should get

733
00:49:03.720 --> 00:49:08.440
past this to show whatever. No, the struggle is to allow all those things to

734
00:49:08.440 --> 00:49:14.240
come up so that you now have the opportunity to let them out finally. But

735
00:49:14.240 --> 00:49:19.200
in the desert, that's why you feel all that pain. It's finally taking the lid

736
00:49:19.200 --> 00:49:23.480
off so that all of this stuff will come up and now you have the opportunity to

737
00:49:23.480 --> 00:49:28.200
let it go. Just because we don't feel something doesn't mean it's not there.

738
00:49:28.600 --> 00:49:31.600
And so when we're going through the desert, through the wilderness, through

739
00:49:31.600 --> 00:49:38.200
those struggles, God is saying, okay, let's get the poison out so that you

740
00:49:39.000 --> 00:49:49.200
you stop being in a toxic or a septic internal state. He's like, I know that

741
00:49:49.200 --> 00:49:53.840
it's damaging you, but because you don't let yourself feel the anger or feel the

742
00:49:53.840 --> 00:49:57.920
fear or feel the whatever, and you keep cycling it, it's just staying in there

743
00:49:57.920 --> 00:49:59.920
and it's doing horrible damage. So we need to

744
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.000
let that thing come up.

745
00:50:01.000 --> 00:50:04.160
And now, and so let the thing come up, fully face it,

746
00:50:04.160 --> 00:50:07.540
make a choice about whether or not that's staying

747
00:50:07.540 --> 00:50:08.960
and choose instead.

748
00:50:08.960 --> 00:50:11.200
No, it's not staying, I'm gonna let that thing go

749
00:50:11.200 --> 00:50:12.460
and then it's gone.

750
00:50:13.320 --> 00:50:15.720
And that is how we overcome.

751
00:50:15.720 --> 00:50:18.620
We don't overcome by just not feeling the thing.

752
00:50:19.900 --> 00:50:22.000
You overcome by fully feeling the thing

753
00:50:22.000 --> 00:50:23.960
and making a choice about it

754
00:50:23.960 --> 00:50:26.000
and choosing instead to let it go.

755
00:50:26.000 --> 00:50:28.360
Now, one of the ways that you can do that is,

756
00:50:28.360 --> 00:50:33.360
what I do is whenever I feel a very intense emotion

757
00:50:33.440 --> 00:50:35.600
and I don't wanna keep it,

758
00:50:35.600 --> 00:50:37.240
I'm like, okay, this is not healthy,

759
00:50:37.240 --> 00:50:38.400
I know this isn't right

760
00:50:38.400 --> 00:50:40.800
and I'll use anger as an example.

761
00:50:40.800 --> 00:50:42.560
What I'll do is I'll get alone with the Lord

762
00:50:42.560 --> 00:50:44.960
and allow myself to fully feel mad

763
00:50:44.960 --> 00:50:46.920
about whatever it is that I'm mad about.

764
00:50:46.920 --> 00:50:49.720
And I don't mean fully feel mad where I lose control

765
00:50:49.720 --> 00:50:52.400
or I wanna like hit something, I don't mean that.

766
00:50:52.400 --> 00:50:54.560
I mean, I just allow it to come up

767
00:50:55.440 --> 00:51:00.120
and then I go and I allow the Lord to bring his presence in.

768
00:51:00.120 --> 00:51:02.600
So I basically ask the Lord to bring his presence in

769
00:51:02.600 --> 00:51:05.680
so he's with me while I'm mad.

770
00:51:05.680 --> 00:51:09.000
And I feel like I'm literally sitting in a cloud

771
00:51:09.000 --> 00:51:11.440
of his presence while I'm mad.

772
00:51:11.440 --> 00:51:13.560
And I learned multiple things from that.

773
00:51:14.440 --> 00:51:16.480
I think at least two or three.

774
00:51:16.480 --> 00:51:20.680
One, I learned that God fully accepts me while I'm sinning

775
00:51:20.680 --> 00:51:23.320
and that I'm allowed to be in his presence while I'm sinning

776
00:51:23.320 --> 00:51:24.920
and he doesn't reject me.

777
00:51:24.920 --> 00:51:27.960
And that is not the God that I was ever taught about.

778
00:51:27.960 --> 00:51:30.400
But God is not threatened by us.

779
00:51:30.400 --> 00:51:31.720
He's not threatened by our choices

780
00:51:31.720 --> 00:51:32.960
and he's not threatened by our sin.

781
00:51:32.960 --> 00:51:34.800
He's much bigger than all of that.

782
00:51:34.800 --> 00:51:38.560
So he fully loves and accepts us unconditionally.

783
00:51:38.560 --> 00:51:40.640
So we just sit in it, in his presence

784
00:51:40.640 --> 00:51:42.920
and we learn, oh wow, God fully still loves

785
00:51:42.920 --> 00:51:44.400
and accepts me anyway.

786
00:51:44.400 --> 00:51:46.480
He doesn't love and accept the sin.

787
00:51:46.480 --> 00:51:49.400
He loves and accepts me regardless of what choice

788
00:51:49.400 --> 00:51:51.360
I'm making at the moment.

789
00:51:51.360 --> 00:51:52.760
So anyway, and regardless of the fact

790
00:51:53.200 --> 00:51:54.680
that I'm struggling to not believe the Lord,

791
00:51:54.680 --> 00:51:56.080
which is what sin is and all that,

792
00:51:56.080 --> 00:51:57.440
he still loves and accepts me.

793
00:51:57.440 --> 00:52:01.040
So I feel, I experienced that, like, oh my word.

794
00:52:01.040 --> 00:52:03.160
I'm experiencing what it says in the Bible

795
00:52:03.160 --> 00:52:05.400
is true about the Lord where he said,

796
00:52:05.400 --> 00:52:08.040
I am unconditionally loved and accepted.

797
00:52:08.040 --> 00:52:09.840
This is really wild.

798
00:52:09.840 --> 00:52:12.720
So anyway, I'm feeling the fullness of my emotion.

799
00:52:12.720 --> 00:52:15.680
I go to the Lord with it and fully sit in his presence

800
00:52:15.680 --> 00:52:17.520
while I'm feeling that emotion.

801
00:52:17.520 --> 00:52:21.560
And I then in his presence, he doesn't correct me.

802
00:52:22.560 --> 00:52:24.440
Nothing, he doesn't tell me, Ashley,

803
00:52:24.440 --> 00:52:25.720
these are the Bible verses.

804
00:52:25.720 --> 00:52:27.360
You know better than this.

805
00:52:27.360 --> 00:52:28.760
This is what you need to do instead.

806
00:52:28.760 --> 00:52:29.600
You need to forgive.

807
00:52:29.600 --> 00:52:30.440
You need to do that.

808
00:52:30.440 --> 00:52:31.360
He doesn't tell me to do anything.

809
00:52:31.360 --> 00:52:33.480
He just, he just lets me be.

810
00:52:33.480 --> 00:52:35.800
And his presence heals me.

811
00:52:35.800 --> 00:52:39.320
And suddenly in his presence, I have everything that I need.

812
00:52:39.320 --> 00:52:41.080
And the thing that I was mad about,

813
00:52:43.400 --> 00:52:45.880
because what we get mad about is the fact

814
00:52:45.880 --> 00:52:48.440
that we have this need that isn't being met.

815
00:52:48.440 --> 00:52:49.920
You know, whether it be, you know,

816
00:52:50.040 --> 00:52:53.360
just that we didn't feel loved or felt disrespected

817
00:52:53.360 --> 00:52:55.160
or felt, you know, just whatever the thing was,

818
00:52:55.160 --> 00:52:56.360
or it felt out of control.

819
00:52:56.360 --> 00:52:57.440
We felt insecure.

820
00:52:57.440 --> 00:52:59.520
We felt afraid, whatever it was.

821
00:52:59.520 --> 00:53:02.200
All of a sudden God, we're in the presence of God

822
00:53:02.200 --> 00:53:04.800
and he provides all of those things for us.

823
00:53:04.800 --> 00:53:07.640
So you suddenly feel like you have the thing

824
00:53:07.640 --> 00:53:10.440
that you got mad for not having.

825
00:53:10.440 --> 00:53:12.640
You suddenly feel that you have that from God

826
00:53:13.480 --> 00:53:15.120
and you no longer need to be mad.

827
00:53:16.120 --> 00:53:19.400
And so the madness goes away.

828
00:53:19.400 --> 00:53:22.800
And then God heals you, heals you internally.

829
00:53:23.840 --> 00:53:28.600
And so the reason, and he begins to heal that place in you

830
00:53:28.600 --> 00:53:32.600
that is triggered and gets you mad.

831
00:53:32.600 --> 00:53:34.120
It's the wildest thing.

832
00:53:34.120 --> 00:53:36.320
So it's like multiple things happen.

833
00:53:36.320 --> 00:53:38.840
You finally feel loved and accepted and fully identified

834
00:53:38.840 --> 00:53:42.080
like, oh my goodness, God, I really am okay with God.

835
00:53:42.080 --> 00:53:45.480
I really am this loved and this accepted and this,

836
00:53:45.480 --> 00:53:49.160
I don't know, just fully okay as I am

837
00:53:49.920 --> 00:53:50.760
with the Lord.

838
00:53:50.760 --> 00:53:53.440
And then, you know, because he's the all sufficient one,

839
00:53:53.440 --> 00:53:56.600
he being in his presence provides for the thing

840
00:53:56.600 --> 00:53:58.000
that had triggered your emotion.

841
00:53:58.000 --> 00:53:59.920
You no longer need the emotion anymore.

842
00:53:59.920 --> 00:54:01.400
So it goes away.

843
00:54:01.400 --> 00:54:05.000
And then you're, and then he begins to heal that place

844
00:54:05.000 --> 00:54:08.960
in you that gets, again, like I said,

845
00:54:08.960 --> 00:54:12.120
it gets triggered for, you know,

846
00:54:12.120 --> 00:54:15.200
and impromptu to start like getting mad or whatever.

847
00:54:15.200 --> 00:54:19.320
Anyway, that is how I safely deal

848
00:54:19.320 --> 00:54:22.440
with feeling the fullness of emotion.

849
00:54:22.440 --> 00:54:25.320
Because for one thing, we're always,

850
00:54:25.320 --> 00:54:27.200
we're afraid of emotions because we think

851
00:54:27.200 --> 00:54:28.760
I'm not supposed to feel this way.

852
00:54:28.760 --> 00:54:30.240
It's sinning.

853
00:54:30.240 --> 00:54:33.200
So me feeling this way means God's mad at me right now.

854
00:54:34.160 --> 00:54:36.680
And we have to go to God and write a different record.

855
00:54:36.680 --> 00:54:40.320
We have to go to God and experience something different

856
00:54:40.320 --> 00:54:42.000
because we're believing he's mad at me.

857
00:54:42.000 --> 00:54:44.320
Okay, well, let's go and see.

858
00:54:44.320 --> 00:54:45.760
And it's scary because we're like,

859
00:54:45.760 --> 00:54:47.160
oh no, I know what I'm gonna find out,

860
00:54:47.160 --> 00:54:49.480
but God says different.

861
00:54:49.480 --> 00:54:50.480
So what do we choose?

862
00:54:50.480 --> 00:54:51.960
What I've always believed about God,

863
00:54:51.960 --> 00:54:54.600
which has gotten me to life that I live this far,

864
00:54:54.600 --> 00:54:55.760
you know, meaning like, you know,

865
00:54:55.760 --> 00:54:57.160
any struggles that we have or whatever,

866
00:54:57.160 --> 00:54:59.560
that's what that's, that's the fruit of it

867
00:54:59.560 --> 00:55:00.400
is all these.

868
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.360
bad things I've been believing about God and I don't want my life like this.

869
00:55:03.360 --> 00:55:06.280
So if I want something different, I better start believing something

870
00:55:06.280 --> 00:55:07.000
different about God.

871
00:55:07.000 --> 00:55:07.840
So what does God say?

872
00:55:07.840 --> 00:55:10.880
God said, Ashley, actually, that's not true about me.

873
00:55:11.400 --> 00:55:12.840
So what is true?

874
00:55:13.240 --> 00:55:14.400
I fully love and accept you.

875
00:55:14.720 --> 00:55:17.080
And I've already, I've already paid for your sin.

876
00:55:17.200 --> 00:55:18.560
There's no more sin to pay.

877
00:55:18.560 --> 00:55:20.760
I mean, there's no more payment to be made for the sin.

878
00:55:21.120 --> 00:55:22.800
I'm very unthreatened by your sin.

879
00:55:23.160 --> 00:55:24.720
I'm very unthreatened by your choices.

880
00:55:25.400 --> 00:55:27.440
I'm way too big for that, though.

881
00:55:27.440 --> 00:55:29.040
I can handle it, you know?

882
00:55:29.440 --> 00:55:35.200
And so you just go to him and experience the different experience that he

883
00:55:35.200 --> 00:55:42.080
actually is and backs up what he says that he is experienced that he really

884
00:55:42.080 --> 00:55:45.920
does deal differently with you than what you'd always heard would happen.

885
00:55:45.920 --> 00:55:48.640
If you went to God, go to God and find out.

886
00:55:49.640 --> 00:55:51.960
And it's scary, but you have to choose that.

887
00:55:51.960 --> 00:55:54.800
If he says you'll get a different experience, you have to choose that.

888
00:55:55.480 --> 00:56:00.560
You have to risk, you know, all of your fears for the fact that God says he'll,

889
00:56:00.560 --> 00:56:02.880
he'll treat you differently and you go and you experience it.

890
00:56:02.880 --> 00:56:07.360
And once you experience it, it totally wipes out anything else you'd ever heard

891
00:56:07.360 --> 00:56:12.080
before, because God himself, you actually experienced God himself, as opposed to

892
00:56:12.080 --> 00:56:14.320
somebody telling you about him.

893
00:56:14.720 --> 00:56:16.960
And it just logically made sense to you.

894
00:56:17.840 --> 00:56:21.720
Which would you rather build your life on actually experiencing him?

895
00:56:21.760 --> 00:56:24.440
So anyway, I find that very, very important.

896
00:56:25.520 --> 00:56:29.040
And so that's that, that, like I said, that's how I safely deal with the

897
00:56:29.040 --> 00:56:37.000
emotions because, because I'm in his presence dealing with them as opposed to.

898
00:56:38.040 --> 00:56:42.040
As opposed to feeding on him or allowing temptation to come in and

899
00:56:42.040 --> 00:56:44.640
we act on the emotion or anything like that.

900
00:56:44.920 --> 00:56:49.240
The whole purpose of the emotion is to feel it, to let it come up.

901
00:56:49.240 --> 00:56:52.400
It's like throwing up to feel it in order to let it out.

902
00:56:53.080 --> 00:56:55.560
And you do that in God's presence.

903
00:56:56.600 --> 00:57:00.160
And anyway, that has made a huge difference for me.

904
00:57:00.480 --> 00:57:05.000
And and it's made it and talking about, you know, how did you start changing

905
00:57:05.000 --> 00:57:07.360
your sense of identity of who it is that you are?

906
00:57:07.360 --> 00:57:10.720
Another thing that's not only helped me, but helped other people that I've

907
00:57:10.720 --> 00:57:16.440
talked to about this and I'm giving them this like practice or exercise is.

908
00:57:17.160 --> 00:57:22.440
Um, is to, is while you're feeling any feeling, whether it be mad or you're

909
00:57:22.440 --> 00:57:26.360
sad or you're disappointed or, or you're not feeling good about yourself or

910
00:57:26.360 --> 00:57:32.640
whatever, just go to God and just sit with him and just see how he responds to you.

911
00:57:34.680 --> 00:57:38.480
What does God act like when you're feeling like you are and you'll

912
00:57:38.480 --> 00:57:40.040
find that he won't correct you.

913
00:57:40.880 --> 00:57:44.560
And if he does correct you, it doesn't feel like correction.

914
00:57:44.640 --> 00:57:45.640
It feels like.

915
00:57:46.680 --> 00:57:50.600
He's just, he's trying to affirm to, you know, I really do love you.

916
00:57:50.920 --> 00:57:54.320
This is, and this is who you are and whatever, as opposed to cut

917
00:57:54.320 --> 00:57:55.840
that out, you know, better.

918
00:57:56.480 --> 00:58:01.280
You know, I think of that as correction, but where he like speaks out these

919
00:58:01.280 --> 00:58:05.440
positive truths that technically I suppose it's correction, but it

920
00:58:05.440 --> 00:58:07.280
didn't, it didn't feel like that.

921
00:58:07.280 --> 00:58:09.200
He's just affirming to us over and over.

922
00:58:09.200 --> 00:58:14.040
No, no, this is who it is that you are, you know, and, and people and it'll

923
00:58:14.040 --> 00:58:18.560
make us it, and it's helped me and other people not be so afraid of God.

924
00:58:18.840 --> 00:58:22.520
Cause again, we're giving ourselves an experience of God and saying, okay,

925
00:58:22.840 --> 00:58:26.800
he says he's like this, so let me go put myself in that place and

926
00:58:26.800 --> 00:58:28.440
experience him and see what he does.

927
00:58:29.240 --> 00:58:36.120
See what he's really like and let him show up in my life as he wants to.

928
00:58:36.800 --> 00:58:38.000
Who does he want to be with me?

929
00:58:38.240 --> 00:58:39.440
Who does he want to be right now?

930
00:58:39.440 --> 00:58:43.000
And just let him be that thing as opposed to, well, I think God's this.

931
00:58:43.400 --> 00:58:46.840
And here's my standard and he better show up like that and whatever.

932
00:58:46.840 --> 00:58:50.800
No, just go to God, which is recklessly, you know, feels like

933
00:58:50.800 --> 00:58:52.520
reckless, abandoned, feels risky.

934
00:58:52.520 --> 00:58:58.040
Just go to God and see who does God show up as who does he want to be?

935
00:58:58.680 --> 00:59:05.000
And then, and, and you'll, it'll heal a lot about what you believe about God.

936
00:59:05.280 --> 00:59:09.560
It'll heal a lot about what you believe about yourself, because we're supposed

937
00:59:09.560 --> 00:59:11.920
to get our sense of identity from him.

938
00:59:12.320 --> 00:59:14.360
Who does he say that we are?

939
00:59:14.760 --> 00:59:18.720
And I don't mean whether or not you like Mexican food or what, what

940
00:59:18.720 --> 00:59:20.520
your personality is or whatever.

941
00:59:20.520 --> 00:59:21.200
I don't mean that.

942
00:59:21.240 --> 00:59:27.760
I mean, I mean, just like the, the essence of, of who you are, like that

943
00:59:27.760 --> 00:59:31.320
you're, that you're good and that there's nothing wrong with you and that you're

944
00:59:31.320 --> 00:59:36.960
creative and that you love beauty and that you, I don't know, you appreciate.

945
00:59:37.400 --> 00:59:42.600
Um, you appreciate things that the Lord created, including people that feel very

946
00:59:42.600 --> 00:59:48.080
unlovable, you know, or whatever, you'll discover things about yourself that are

947
00:59:48.080 --> 00:59:54.160
so deep that you don't even have words for, but you just allow yourself to sit

948
00:59:54.160 --> 00:59:56.480
with him and be perfectly okay.

949
00:59:57.160 --> 00:59:59.760
Even though you don't have words for why you're okay.

950
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.960
or what identifies you as being okay, or what your personality is, or what your characteristics

951
01:00:04.960 --> 01:00:09.280
are. You may not have words like righteous and holy, and you may not have any of those words.

952
01:00:09.280 --> 01:00:16.080
You're just like, I'm perfectly whole. I'm perfectly okay. There's nothing wrong with

953
01:00:16.080 --> 01:00:20.320
me deep down. It doesn't mean we don't have flesh to overcome, but who it is that we are,

954
01:00:20.320 --> 01:00:25.520
our identity is in our spirit. It's not in the part that's sinning. It's not in the soul or

955
01:00:25.520 --> 01:00:30.560
in the body that's not believing God sometimes, because that's what sin is. It's the not believing

956
01:00:30.560 --> 01:00:35.680
God, and that's what our soul and our body does, but our spirit that's one with Christ and no sin

957
01:00:35.680 --> 01:00:40.640
and nothing corrupted can be in Christ. Well, then it means that if our spirit is unified with Christ

958
01:00:40.640 --> 01:00:43.920
and nothing corrupted can be in Christ, it means that your spirit does not sin.

959
01:00:44.480 --> 01:00:48.880
So your spirit is perfect, and that's your seat of your identity. Nothing's wrong with you.

960
01:00:49.600 --> 01:00:56.080
Your soul and your body are looking to your spirit for instruction, to feel safe, to feel at peace,

961
01:00:56.080 --> 01:01:02.960
to feel okay, like they're always looking to the spirit. Are we okay? I'm scared. And the spirit

962
01:01:03.840 --> 01:01:09.760
is the parent. Your spirit that's one with Christ, which is perfectly fine, it's always

963
01:01:09.760 --> 01:01:17.520
giving stuff. It's always the one who gives the instruction that he's the king. He's the ruler

964
01:01:18.080 --> 01:01:23.600
over the soul and the body, letting them know what's going on and what God says and urging them

965
01:01:23.600 --> 01:01:32.800
to believe. But the soul and the body are not the ruling force of you. Who it is that you are,

966
01:01:32.800 --> 01:01:36.880
when you sit there with God, what you'll experience is your spirit. There's nothing wrong with you.

967
01:01:37.680 --> 01:01:41.200
There's nothing wrong with your soul and your body either. They're just making choices,

968
01:01:41.920 --> 01:01:49.920
and they just need to be redeemed. But remember that there's nothing wrong with them in the fact

969
01:01:49.920 --> 01:02:00.400
that you're going to have them for eternity. Jesus, when he died and rose again, he rose in

970
01:02:00.400 --> 01:02:05.680
the same body that he died in. And you know that because he had the wounds, right? But he can now

971
01:02:05.680 --> 01:02:11.600
walk through walls and he can now translate, you know, appear and disappear and all of that. But

972
01:02:11.600 --> 01:02:16.400
he could still eat. You know, he ate fish with him. He had breakfast. And he's like,

973
01:02:16.400 --> 01:02:21.520
I prove to prove to you, I'm not a ghost. Give me something to eat. Remember? And then he told

974
01:02:21.520 --> 01:02:25.600
Thomas, but stick your hand. If you don't believe me, stick that it's really me. Stick your hand in

975
01:02:25.600 --> 01:02:32.080
my side. Stick your fingers in my hands. He wanted to show them this is a real body, but I can now do

976
01:02:32.080 --> 01:02:39.120
different things. I'm the same person that was with you. And then when he ascended to heaven,

977
01:02:39.120 --> 01:02:45.600
he literally rose. So his body went to heaven. He didn't just like disappear or his body fell

978
01:02:45.600 --> 01:02:50.880
into the ground and he died. He literally kept his body. So there's nothing wrong with our bodies.

979
01:02:50.880 --> 01:02:56.880
They just need to be redeemed. They just need to be changed from flesh that can die into spirit that

980
01:02:56.880 --> 01:03:02.480
can ever die and isn't subject to physical loss, just like Jesus body. And it's the same thing with

981
01:03:02.480 --> 01:03:07.600
our soul. So my point is there's nothing wrong with your soul and your body. They just need to

982
01:03:07.600 --> 01:03:13.840
be redeemed. Just the parts of it that lead to death just need to be overcome. So, so I say all

983
01:03:13.840 --> 01:03:18.000
that as an encouragement, don't villainize yourself. There's nothing wrong with you. There's not even

984
01:03:18.000 --> 01:03:24.400
anything wrong with your body. It's afraid. It's very scared. That's all that's the only thing

985
01:03:24.400 --> 01:03:30.000
that's wrong with it. It's just very scared. And so it's acting out like a, like a rebellious

986
01:03:30.000 --> 01:03:35.120
teenager or a little two-year-old who's throwing a temper tantrum. It's just trying to do the,

987
01:03:35.120 --> 01:03:41.680
do the best it can, trying to survive, trying to keep up, trying to keep itself alive or keep you

988
01:03:41.680 --> 01:03:48.880
okay or battle diseases. It thinks it's, it's that it's threatened by, and then it thinks,

989
01:03:48.880 --> 01:03:53.520
oh my goodness, I couldn't overcome it. And now I have to be, or I couldn't, I couldn't battle the

990
01:03:53.520 --> 01:03:57.360
disease and now I've been overcome by it. And so it ends up taking on cancer. It ends up taking

991
01:03:57.360 --> 01:04:03.120
upon these things, right? It's just afraid. It doesn't know that it is who God says that it is.

992
01:04:03.120 --> 01:04:08.880
And that's our job. We have to tell it, no, this is who God says you are. And so, and it has to

993
01:04:08.880 --> 01:04:14.080
be an eternal choice that we make. This is who God says that I am. Therefore, this is what I'm

994
01:04:14.080 --> 01:04:17.600
going to declare. And this is what I, what I choose. This is what I'm going to live out.

995
01:04:18.400 --> 01:04:23.920
That is faith is choosing that whatever God says is reality really is our reality

996
01:04:24.480 --> 01:04:28.880
because hope won't get, won't get us there. We can't, it can't be, oh, well,

997
01:04:28.880 --> 01:04:35.760
if God says it's true, then I guess it'll happen. No, we have dominion. God says you have to come

998
01:04:35.760 --> 01:04:41.520
into agreement before it'll happen. I've said it, but you need step two. In other words, you need

999
01:04:41.520 --> 01:04:47.360
your agreement before it will actually happen. So come into agreement with me that it really is true.

1000
01:04:47.360 --> 01:04:52.240
And then you'll start seeing it, you know, in your soul or in your body or, or whatever. So

1001
01:04:53.120 --> 01:04:59.760
I say, is this helpful or yes, absolutely. Okay. Okay.

1002
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:07.760
No, absolutely. So even instructing your body that it is that it doesn't have to go through

1003
01:05:07.760 --> 01:05:11.920
a death process, because it's alive, like your spirit is.

1004
01:05:13.280 --> 01:05:22.720
Yeah, yeah, exactly. So and there's different schools of thought on that I immortality is

1005
01:05:22.720 --> 01:05:29.280
not something that I've like looked a lot into where or really pursued it's been because there's

1006
01:05:29.280 --> 01:05:33.360
so many different things that we can learn from the Lord. But I do believe personally,

1007
01:05:33.360 --> 01:05:38.400
that immortality is absolutely possible. I believe that that's what Jesus's resurrection

1008
01:05:38.400 --> 01:05:43.280
proved is that he was the last one that had to die. The reason that he had to die,

1009
01:05:43.280 --> 01:05:47.440
as opposed to him being quote, unquote, immortal, I mean, even if even though he was,

1010
01:05:47.440 --> 01:05:52.160
but he that he died, as opposed to being more immortal and never physically dying.

1011
01:05:52.160 --> 01:05:56.320
The reason that he had to do that is you have to go through the thing

1012
01:05:56.320 --> 01:06:01.360
in order to prove that it doesn't have a power over you. So we had to go through death,

1013
01:06:01.360 --> 01:06:05.920
and then rise up to prove that it wasn't final and to prove that it didn't have the final say

1014
01:06:05.920 --> 01:06:11.840
and to prove that it wasn't threatening. But simply avoiding it doesn't prove that it that

1015
01:06:11.840 --> 01:06:18.400
it doesn't have power. You have to go through it to prove that it doesn't have power of you.

1016
01:06:18.400 --> 01:06:23.120
So that's why Jesus had to go through it. And that's how he was, because that's how it had

1017
01:06:23.120 --> 01:06:27.440
to be conquered. It had to be proven that it didn't have the final say and that he could rise

1018
01:06:27.440 --> 01:06:32.320
from the dead, even after he died. But he was the last, but because of what he did,

1019
01:06:32.320 --> 01:06:37.760
that conquered death, we don't have to. Now, very few people, I say very few,

1020
01:06:38.560 --> 01:06:42.480
compared to the number of people that have lived on the earth. Very few people have ever

1021
01:06:42.480 --> 01:06:47.120
understood quite how to do that. I have friends that are looking into it and have studied it quite

1022
01:06:47.120 --> 01:06:55.040
a lot. And so they anyway, for me, it's I'm not a definitely not a subject matter expert on it.

1023
01:06:55.040 --> 01:07:00.880
I believe that it's possible, but it's not anything that I'm that the Lord and I are pursuing

1024
01:07:00.880 --> 01:07:07.120
together. So you know, God might, God might strike me differently, you know, later on,

1025
01:07:07.120 --> 01:07:10.160
he might just say, actually, I want you to look into this more. So but right now,

1026
01:07:10.160 --> 01:07:14.160
it's not an area that I'm focused on. But yeah, I do believe it's absolutely possible.

1027
01:07:14.880 --> 01:07:20.960
I do, too. I read a book over 20 years ago, that talked about that.

1028
01:07:21.920 --> 01:07:27.920
I really? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they say some people say that John has never died,

1029
01:07:27.920 --> 01:07:32.400
you know, and that John's still around, or, you know, obviously, Enoch, and didn't die.

1030
01:07:33.040 --> 01:07:37.680
Elijah didn't die. I mean, there's all kinds of people that didn't die. But and but I'm talking

1031
01:07:37.680 --> 01:07:42.240
about like people that aren't even in the in the Bible. And those people, you know,

1032
01:07:42.320 --> 01:07:50.080
claim to be 400 years old, or, you know, whatever. So anyway, I absolutely believe that it's possible.

1033
01:07:50.080 --> 01:07:55.920
And, and I believe that that's what Christ's death and resurrection bought for us and improved

1034
01:07:56.720 --> 01:08:01.360
was the fact and here's and again, the whole point is the fact that God creates good things,

1035
01:08:01.360 --> 01:08:05.520
he created the spirit, the soul and the body. And he means for those to stay around.

1036
01:08:06.480 --> 01:08:13.120
No, even though even when someone, even when someone dies and is buried, Paul talked about

1037
01:08:13.120 --> 01:08:18.720
the fact Yeah, but if even the ones who are dead first, they're going to rise first, and God's

1038
01:08:18.720 --> 01:08:21.760
going to redeem their bodies, they're going to either going to redeem them that he's going to

1039
01:08:21.760 --> 01:08:25.359
redeem them in the air and all of that says that they were going to be changed in the twinkling

1040
01:08:25.359 --> 01:08:29.840
of an eye. No, and it said they were, I don't know, receive new bodies in the air or something

1041
01:08:29.840 --> 01:08:34.240
like that. But the new bodies, I believe it's just simply the fact that it's their old body

1042
01:08:34.240 --> 01:08:41.840
translated into into spirit as opposed to flesh. Just like and the reason I think that is, again,

1043
01:08:41.840 --> 01:08:46.479
the example of Jesus, Jesus always goes before us and shows us what to expect and goes through it

1044
01:08:46.479 --> 01:08:52.560
so that we always have had someone who's gone through the experience first. And that's what

1045
01:08:52.560 --> 01:08:57.520
happened to him. It was his own body just translated into into into spirit. So I think

1046
01:08:57.520 --> 01:09:03.920
that that's what it means by getting a new body is it's not that as if this body is bad,

1047
01:09:04.720 --> 01:09:11.040
and God needs to replace it. I was like, No, it's fine. I don't create bad things. I just need to

1048
01:09:11.040 --> 01:09:16.800
train. I just need to, you know, remove the death from it and make it eternal. So anyway.

1049
01:09:18.160 --> 01:09:21.840
Yeah, no, I understand. I've come across those kind of teachings.

1050
01:09:23.120 --> 01:09:24.720
Yeah, it wasn't unfamiliar.

1051
01:09:25.359 --> 01:09:33.840
Oops. Well, and I know we're over time. And was there any last thing that you were wondering

1052
01:09:33.840 --> 01:09:38.880
about or had a question about before we get off? And I'll have this recording, I have to wait for

1053
01:09:38.880 --> 01:09:44.560
it to process and everything before I can download it and upload it. But when I get all that taken

1054
01:09:44.560 --> 01:09:50.160
care of, you know, I'll let you know. And that was there. Is there anything else before we jump off?

1055
01:09:50.160 --> 01:09:59.840
Um, just maybe anywhere in the Bible that affirms our goodness. And then yes, I have a few.

1056
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.840
questions. One, I remember a story when you were in a hotel room and you needed the funds to

1057
01:10:05.840 --> 01:10:10.480
purchase it. And you spoke about how the Lord came through, but I was wondering what happened

1058
01:10:11.040 --> 01:10:18.080
at that. Everyone wonders that. Yeah. Um, well, when I say the Lord came through meaning like,

1059
01:10:18.080 --> 01:10:25.120
um, it, the, it wasn't that, how do I explain this? I called a friend for help

1060
01:10:26.000 --> 01:10:29.280
and meaning like spiritual help and said, okay, here's the situation.

1061
01:10:30.320 --> 01:10:36.480
Um, I can't hear from the Lord when he wants me to do. Um, and, and I don't know now what to do.

1062
01:10:37.440 --> 01:10:41.520
And so the friend watched me through some spiritual aspects of it. Okay. Well, did you do

1063
01:10:41.520 --> 01:10:48.640
this? And what have you in the Lord been doing the past few weeks? And, um, when, uh, and I,

1064
01:10:48.640 --> 01:10:53.200
and I told them and they said, okay, well, here's what I want to do. They said, I want to,

1065
01:10:53.200 --> 01:10:59.040
I want to give you, um, they said, I want to send you money so that you can leave the hotel and you

1066
01:10:59.040 --> 01:11:04.960
can start your journey again. And then we'll just be what God does, you know, on your journey from

1067
01:11:04.960 --> 01:11:11.920
there, like does do things change and God starts, you know, providing you the physical means by

1068
01:11:11.920 --> 01:11:18.720
which in other words, in money to go from town to town, town or not. And, um, uh, because God's

1069
01:11:18.800 --> 01:11:24.080
not a genie, you know, we're just, uh, we just are wondering, so what is he doing? What does

1070
01:11:24.080 --> 01:11:28.480
he want to do now? Is it time for her to go back to the States? You know, that kind of thing.

1071
01:11:28.480 --> 01:11:36.160
Anyway, so he's the, so I had a friend who actually gifted me the money. Um, and I don't consider

1072
01:11:36.160 --> 01:11:41.920
that. I mean, sure. God works through a variety of things and yeah, I have my friend and I called

1073
01:11:41.920 --> 01:11:51.120
him. And so God works through stuff like that, but it's not the same thing as what I had been

1074
01:11:51.120 --> 01:11:59.040
doing thus far of what I refer to as like living by faith where I'm just like, okay, Lord, I don't

1075
01:11:59.040 --> 01:12:05.840
know where the money's coming from. And I'm just trusting you to provide it, you know, as it's

1076
01:12:05.840 --> 01:12:16.720
needed. This did not fit that same, um, uh, did not fit that same form or format. Um, and the

1077
01:12:16.720 --> 01:12:22.640
reason that I don't tell people the end of that story is because it's really hard for people to

1078
01:12:22.640 --> 01:12:29.120
hear and to understand, because we always like the stories of when God stays in the 11th hour

1079
01:12:29.840 --> 01:12:37.600
as God will is like, okay, well, no matter how bad it gets, you know, all of the stories that

1080
01:12:37.600 --> 01:12:47.280
I've heard from so-and-so they always, um, uh, they always, God always comes through for them

1081
01:12:47.280 --> 01:12:51.680
always, no matter how bad it gets, you know, eventually something will happen.

1082
01:12:52.640 --> 01:12:56.240
And what's hard to explain is that no, sometimes it doesn't.

1083
01:12:58.160 --> 01:13:05.040
Um, but to me, that was one of the most precious times, if not the most precious time of my whole

1084
01:13:05.040 --> 01:13:12.400
journey with him was that desert place, that wilderness, that struggle, because not only was

1085
01:13:12.400 --> 01:13:17.920
it hard then, but I then went to a city where I had to heal from the fact that I just gone through

1086
01:13:18.000 --> 01:13:24.160
that with the Lord and I didn't understand. And I was hurt by him and I, and I didn't know what to

1087
01:13:24.160 --> 01:13:29.280
do, but here's what I learned from it. And here's why it was so special is, and why again, wilderness

1088
01:13:29.280 --> 01:13:37.600
experience and a struggle is a place of tremendous intimacy with the Lord. And it's this, and it's

1089
01:13:37.600 --> 01:13:43.440
this wrestling because you're just this close. And it's that when that happened, I told the Lord,

1090
01:13:43.520 --> 01:13:50.320
I said, Lord, I choose you over you ever sending me money, ever you ever helping me out of the

1091
01:13:50.320 --> 01:13:58.160
situation, so to speak. Um, I choose Lord that you are provider, not that you give me money.

1092
01:13:59.520 --> 01:14:04.560
And I choose that that is who you are to me. You're not my genie. I'm not going to look to

1093
01:14:04.560 --> 01:14:08.960
you to be my genie. You're not going to look to you to give me money. I'm going to look to you

1094
01:14:08.960 --> 01:14:15.200
to always be my provider. Even if I don't never see it in a physical manifestation,

1095
01:14:16.400 --> 01:14:21.920
even if I have to walk through all the consequences of not seeing the physical manifestation,

1096
01:14:21.920 --> 01:14:28.720
like I get sick and die or I, and, and God doesn't heal me or I, um, you know, I don't get the money

1097
01:14:28.720 --> 01:14:36.240
and the deadline comes and goes and, and I never got what I, what I, what I needed.

1098
01:14:36.240 --> 01:14:41.360
God, I choose that you're not the fulfiller of all of my physical, all these physical

1099
01:14:41.360 --> 01:14:46.320
manifestations. I choose that you're deeper and more important to me. I choose that you're always

1100
01:14:46.320 --> 01:14:54.400
that you are my provider. And, um, and, and that began to, and so I made a choice and a deeper

1101
01:14:54.400 --> 01:14:59.120
choice with God than I ever had before that he was who he says that he was. And that that was

1102
01:14:59.120 --> 01:14:59.840
the most important.

1103
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.760
thing to me. And that I wanted him to be that regardless of

1104
01:15:03.760 --> 01:15:06.960
what it made my life look like, regardless of the hardships,

1105
01:15:06.960 --> 01:15:09.600
regardless of the physical manifestation, or the lack of

1106
01:15:09.600 --> 01:15:13.520
physical manifestation, you know, the lack of money, the

1107
01:15:13.520 --> 01:15:15.920
lack of funds, the lack of health, the lack of

1108
01:15:15.920 --> 01:15:20.160
relationship, the lack of whatever, that that did not

1109
01:15:20.160 --> 01:15:25.200
change or determine God's character, that God still was

1110
01:15:25.200 --> 01:15:29.120
the same God in the same way still doing the same things to

1111
01:15:29.120 --> 01:15:33.840
and with me that he'd always done. And that had that hadn't

1112
01:15:33.840 --> 01:15:37.680
changed and wasn't changing and wasn't different while all

1113
01:15:37.680 --> 01:15:40.400
these physicals a while I was in all these physical

1114
01:15:40.400 --> 01:15:49.200
situations. And so anyway, in a manner of speaking, God didn't

1115
01:15:49.200 --> 01:15:52.480
come through. And it's not that and that's a horrible way to

1116
01:15:52.480 --> 01:15:54.640
explain it because it sounds like God didn't really come

1117
01:15:54.640 --> 01:15:56.720
through. He came through and the fact that he was he still

1118
01:15:56.720 --> 01:16:00.800
was who he says he was. He didn't, I didn't see any

1119
01:16:00.800 --> 01:16:07.200
physical manifestation in the way that I wanted to. And so

1120
01:16:07.200 --> 01:16:10.800
anyway, but I, I'm perfectly fine with that. Did it hurt?

1121
01:16:10.800 --> 01:16:16.080
Yes. Did I struggle? Oh, my word. It was so hard. I mean,

1122
01:16:16.080 --> 01:16:19.280
you're a single woman alone and literally no one knew where I

1123
01:16:19.280 --> 01:16:24.160
was. No one in the world knew where I was. And I, and then

1124
01:16:24.160 --> 01:16:28.080
here I was, I couldn't get out of the city. And I couldn't

1125
01:16:28.080 --> 01:16:30.880
leave my hotel, but I couldn't stay at my hotel. So what, you

1126
01:16:30.880 --> 01:16:34.880
know, what are you going to do? And, and funny enough, all of

1127
01:16:34.880 --> 01:16:38.160
the hotels both before and after that, I always had to pay.

1128
01:16:40.480 --> 01:16:44.080
Or maybe all before that I always had to pay before. So I'd

1129
01:16:44.080 --> 01:16:47.920
never been in that problem before. And then when I but when

1130
01:16:47.920 --> 01:16:52.800
I was in Venice, they had me pay when I left. And all the

1131
01:16:52.800 --> 01:16:56.160
other hotels require me to pay before. And it was so

1132
01:16:56.160 --> 01:17:00.640
interesting that that was the one that I couldn't pay was

1133
01:17:00.640 --> 01:17:03.520
after I'd already racked up the expenses. In other words, I'd

1134
01:17:03.520 --> 01:17:06.000
already stayed. I thought it was fascinating. So anyway, that's

1135
01:17:06.000 --> 01:17:11.040
what happened is that, again, I chose no God, I choose that you

1136
01:17:11.040 --> 01:17:17.760
are good. And you are provider. Even though I don't, I, you

1137
01:17:17.760 --> 01:17:22.080
know, you didn't send money, or you didn't allow for this, or

1138
01:17:22.160 --> 01:17:26.080
you didn't, whatever, that that doesn't mean that you're not

1139
01:17:26.080 --> 01:17:28.960
good. It doesn't mean that you're not provider. And I

1140
01:17:28.960 --> 01:17:32.320
choose that that's who you are. And so Lord, you and I are okay.

1141
01:17:33.600 --> 01:17:38.080
We're not, there's not a problem, just because I have

1142
01:17:38.080 --> 01:17:40.880
this physical situation I'm trying to work through, you're

1143
01:17:40.880 --> 01:17:43.120
going to help me with this physical situation, you're going

1144
01:17:43.120 --> 01:17:46.400
to emotionally be my stability, you're going to spiritually be

1145
01:17:46.400 --> 01:17:50.160
there with me, you're going to give me ideas. I'm an active

1146
01:17:50.160 --> 01:17:55.200
participant in my life. God's, God's not the only adult in the

1147
01:17:55.200 --> 01:17:58.720
room. I'm an adult, I can do stuff. I'm an active

1148
01:17:58.720 --> 01:18:03.760
participant. And that's what is very important for us to do as

1149
01:18:03.760 --> 01:18:06.320
we mature in the Lord is we learn how to be an active

1150
01:18:06.320 --> 01:18:12.560
participant without controlling. That's really hard to do. Because

1151
01:18:12.560 --> 01:18:17.760
being an active participant means that risk is required. And

1152
01:18:17.760 --> 01:18:22.720
we also risk disappointment. And it means that we're

1153
01:18:22.720 --> 01:18:25.600
actively participating without getting to control the outcome.

1154
01:18:26.160 --> 01:18:30.480
That's really, really hard. And most people choose that if they

1155
01:18:30.480 --> 01:18:33.600
have to be active participants, they want to be in control. And

1156
01:18:33.600 --> 01:18:36.320
so they take the prodigal son route and say, okay, God, you

1157
01:18:36.320 --> 01:18:39.120
provided me all these means by which to do them, I'm going to

1158
01:18:39.120 --> 01:18:41.520
control my outcome, I want to control how much I make, I want

1159
01:18:41.520 --> 01:18:44.960
to control where I work, I want to control, you know, how many

1160
01:18:44.960 --> 01:18:49.120
kids I have, or who I marry, or whatever. And they want to

1161
01:18:49.120 --> 01:18:51.520
control it. And it's real. And then there, you've got the other

1162
01:18:51.520 --> 01:18:54.800
extreme of like, God, you know, I'm just a servant purist, I

1163
01:18:54.800 --> 01:18:59.920
just wanted to, you know, and so just just provide for me, and

1164
01:18:59.920 --> 01:19:02.960
they're not actively participating in their life. And

1165
01:19:02.960 --> 01:19:08.480
God wants the middle. This is no give all the control and

1166
01:19:08.480 --> 01:19:12.880
determination of the outcome to me, but actively participate.

1167
01:19:13.520 --> 01:19:16.400
That's really hard to do. Anyway, those are some of the

1168
01:19:16.400 --> 01:19:20.080
things you know, that I learned is, and God, and I grew closer

1169
01:19:20.080 --> 01:19:23.040
because of the Venice experience, even though all this

1170
01:19:23.040 --> 01:19:27.200
time later, like, why did God do that? I don't know. But I do

1171
01:19:27.200 --> 01:19:30.160
know that I didn't get this out of it. I got this out of the

1172
01:19:30.160 --> 01:19:35.760
fact I made a choice. I chose him over him getting me out of

1173
01:19:35.760 --> 01:19:40.480
my situation. And I stayed by that choice. And I said that

1174
01:19:40.560 --> 01:19:45.200
choice. So anyway, and that he wasn't respond, what didn't hold

1175
01:19:45.200 --> 01:19:50.160
him responsible for my situation, or I didn't like I

1176
01:19:50.160 --> 01:19:53.520
didn't hold his character responsible for my situation,

1177
01:19:53.520 --> 01:19:57.360
like, oh, it means God's bad. Or it means that, you know, I'm

1178
01:19:57.360 --> 01:19:59.920
bad. You know, like God says, neither of those things are

1179
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.840
are true. So I choose that that's true over understanding or ever having that situation

1180
01:20:06.720 --> 01:20:11.600
reconcile in my mind. So and that's what was important and that's what was powerful about

1181
01:20:11.600 --> 01:20:17.840
that situation. So yeah. That makes sense. Yes. Thank you for explaining that. You're welcome.

1182
01:20:18.640 --> 01:20:24.560
Well I will let you go and I hope this has been helpful and encouraging and I'm giving you some

1183
01:20:24.560 --> 01:20:30.880
stuff to start with. And also last thing I'll mention is remember everything always goes back

1184
01:20:30.880 --> 01:20:37.920
to two things. Remember that God is who he says that he is to the degree he says he's that and

1185
01:20:37.920 --> 01:20:43.200
that you are who he says that you are to the degree he says that you're that. So you can shift

1186
01:20:43.200 --> 01:20:48.800
into rest in a moment if you believe either of those two things. The reason why I have an entire

1187
01:20:48.800 --> 01:20:54.640
rest intensive if it's just those two things to remember is because we have struggled so much in

1188
01:20:54.640 --> 01:21:00.720
certain areas of our life to believe those. To believe that either he is who he says that he is

1189
01:21:00.720 --> 01:21:08.560
or that we are who he says that we are or that he is it to that degree. That he isn't that much

1190
01:21:08.560 --> 01:21:14.800
or that we are that much of what he says that we are. And so I give people like

1191
01:21:15.760 --> 01:21:22.880
like stair steps to learn it. I give people like you know like a like tool that kind of like

1192
01:21:22.880 --> 01:21:26.880
help them get a bit closer and help them get a bit closer. Help them get closer because there's

1193
01:21:26.880 --> 01:21:32.320
there's a reason why we're in so much unbelief against the Lord. We have reasons. We have things

1194
01:21:32.320 --> 01:21:37.760
like Venice. Yeah. You know all these things of oh well it means this and it means this and God

1195
01:21:37.760 --> 01:21:43.040
God abandoned me or God whatever and we gave meanings to things and those things have to

1196
01:21:43.040 --> 01:21:48.160
become out how we have to come out of agreement with all of those things that we were holding

1197
01:21:48.160 --> 01:21:53.920
against the Lord. And if we have a hard time coming out of agreement you know in one fell

1198
01:21:53.920 --> 01:21:58.480
swoop we have to take it a step at a time. And there's nothing wrong with that. God's the one

1199
01:21:58.480 --> 01:22:05.360
who built process. God's the one who built the idea that things take time and that they have

1200
01:22:05.360 --> 01:22:10.400
steps. And God doesn't create anything that's evil. So there's nothing wrong with being in a

1201
01:22:10.400 --> 01:22:16.240
journey where something has to take where you have to do it incrementally. So don't get upset

1202
01:22:16.240 --> 01:22:22.320
at yourself if you're like oh God I'm sorry that I don't have enough faith. God's pleased at what

1203
01:22:22.320 --> 01:22:27.760
faith you have. So give him what faith that you have. Stretch and believe him to the degree that

1204
01:22:27.760 --> 01:22:38.160
you can. And then he'll just and then you'll just build more and more. So yeah. All right.

1205
01:22:38.240 --> 01:22:46.640
Good. Let's see. And then how important it is to tell us tell ourselves the truth in alignment

1206
01:22:46.640 --> 01:22:53.200
with what he's saying who we are. Like to not say to ourself what's not true about ourselves.

1207
01:22:54.480 --> 01:23:03.760
Yeah. Yeah. Honestly and everyone's different. I don't talk to myself a lot and like tell my soul

1208
01:23:03.760 --> 01:23:08.160
and my body those things. You can. You probably remember from the rest intensive that you can

1209
01:23:08.160 --> 01:23:13.040
talk to your soul and your body. And even David did. David talked to his soul. He says rise up

1210
01:23:13.040 --> 01:23:17.120
on my soul and praise the Lord and whatever. So you talk to your soul and you talk to what you

1211
01:23:17.120 --> 01:23:20.720
tell them things and you can absolutely do that. But remember they're not going to believe you

1212
01:23:20.720 --> 01:23:27.040
unless you believe it. So what you have to do first is you have to choose. In other words you

1213
01:23:27.040 --> 01:23:31.920
have to have faith. What faith means is you have to choose that if God said it's true you have to

1214
01:23:31.920 --> 01:23:38.240
choose that that's your reality. That that is the reality that you live in. Remember that it won't be

1215
01:23:38.240 --> 01:23:45.760
a reality until you make it so. In other words you make it so in your head in your in your decision.

1216
01:23:45.760 --> 01:23:53.200
It has to be a free will decision that if that's what God's that and you that something is real

1217
01:23:53.200 --> 01:23:57.600
that something is true that that's the world that you live in that that is your kingdom.

1218
01:23:58.320 --> 01:24:06.000
You can't it won't you won't find proof of it. You won't see it in your past. You won't see it

1219
01:24:06.000 --> 01:24:09.360
in and sometimes you might have a hard time seeing it in the Bible. It doesn't mean it's

1220
01:24:09.360 --> 01:24:14.080
not there. It means that you know you're looking for it and you just haven't found it yet you know

1221
01:24:14.080 --> 01:24:18.320
or maybe you haven't even seen it in other people's lives. But God's telling you that

1222
01:24:18.320 --> 01:24:24.160
something is true. You're like okay if he says it I've got nothing but God's word which is what

1223
01:24:24.160 --> 01:24:31.600
faith is. Faith is belief in God's word what he said and then you make a choice for yourself

1224
01:24:32.320 --> 01:24:37.840
that is that is what is true. So think of it kind of like this what God does. We keep wanting to

1225
01:24:37.840 --> 01:24:42.480
think that okay if God tells us something that it's just going to happen and it's just and it's

1226
01:24:42.480 --> 01:24:47.440
just going to be true and that's not what happens. What happens is God says something's true and he

1227
01:24:47.440 --> 01:24:53.280
lets it go. He says this is truth. Actually this is a possession of mine. I created this. It's

1228
01:24:53.280 --> 01:24:59.840
important. Here it is. I'm telling you about it and now you have the choice to take it into your life.

1229
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.020
And so it's sitting there just because God created it and believes in it and

1230
01:25:05.020 --> 01:25:10.220
says it's true doesn't mean that you have taken it. So pretend this is not my

1231
01:25:10.220 --> 01:25:14.020
hand and it's just standing and it's just sitting out there. That doesn't get

1232
01:25:14.020 --> 01:25:18.740
to benefit my life. This truth is not operating in my life. It's not making

1233
01:25:18.740 --> 01:25:24.520
things happen in my life. So God can say he's good. This is an example. God can say

1234
01:25:24.520 --> 01:25:30.340
he's and that he's good to you. Is that I'm good to you and this is the truth

1235
01:25:30.340 --> 01:25:35.980
and it's how I've created life to be. This is reality. There you go. In order

1236
01:25:35.980 --> 01:25:40.140
for that to be reality in your life you have to decide of your own free will.

1237
01:25:40.140 --> 01:25:45.340
Okay God if you if you I could pick anything to be true or to believe

1238
01:25:45.340 --> 01:25:49.580
anything to be true but if that I want to choose only the things that you

1239
01:25:49.580 --> 01:25:55.580
choose. If you chose this one then God this is the one that I choose is

1240
01:25:55.580 --> 01:26:01.440
actually reality. You have to make a willful and intentional decision that

1241
01:26:01.440 --> 01:26:10.220
it's so. Not hope that it's so. Not choose to believe that it's so. Choose that it

1242
01:26:10.220 --> 01:26:16.340
is so. So kind of like and there's one other way that I thought I should

1243
01:26:16.340 --> 01:26:20.320
describe it and it just left me that and oh you will feel like you're making

1244
01:26:20.320 --> 01:26:24.860
it up. It'll feel like when you're a kid and you wish that life was different and

1245
01:26:24.860 --> 01:26:30.380
so you imagine for a while and pretend that it's different. That's what it's

1246
01:26:30.380 --> 01:26:36.940
like. That was educated out of us. Yeah that you're not supposed to act on your

1247
01:26:36.940 --> 01:26:41.720
imagination because it's not real right. That's what it's gonna feel like. You're

1248
01:26:41.720 --> 01:26:46.400
it's that the adult in you is gonna buck at it. You're gonna think I'm not

1249
01:26:46.400 --> 01:26:52.720
supposed to do that. I don't get to pick reality. You do. You do. If God said it, it

1250
01:26:52.720 --> 01:26:58.040
means it's a reality that can be chosen. Right. So you choose it. Now here's what

1251
01:26:58.040 --> 01:27:03.760
you can't choose. You can't choose how it manifests. So you choose that God's good.

1252
01:27:03.760 --> 01:27:07.560
What you don't get to choose is that he's gonna do specific things for you.

1253
01:27:07.560 --> 01:27:14.480
Yeah. That we don't get to choose that but you always choose okay no

1254
01:27:14.480 --> 01:27:17.880
God is good. So now that you choose that God is good and you choose it now you

1255
01:27:17.880 --> 01:27:21.400
turn your soul in your body. You live like it. You think okay now that I'm

1256
01:27:21.400 --> 01:27:25.560
choosing that this is reality. You always act off what you believe is really

1257
01:27:25.560 --> 01:27:30.840
reality. Okay so this is my choice now. Now what decisions do I make now that

1258
01:27:30.840 --> 01:27:36.840
this is true. Now that this is the way things work. Even though I haven't seen

1259
01:27:36.840 --> 01:27:40.600
it yet. This is the way things work and how do I know that? I know that because

1260
01:27:40.600 --> 01:27:45.360
God said so that's the way things work. What would I do? What decisions would I

1261
01:27:45.360 --> 01:27:50.240
make? How would I act in this particular situation? And then and then you start

1262
01:27:50.240 --> 01:27:55.200
and then that's what changes your actions. Your actions are always

1263
01:27:55.200 --> 01:28:00.040
determined by what you believe is reality. You will always always always

1264
01:28:00.040 --> 01:28:05.060
subconsciously without fail without exception always do what you really

1265
01:28:05.060 --> 01:28:12.540
believe is true. Always without fail. So if we are not acting like what we

1266
01:28:12.540 --> 01:28:17.620
believe is true we don't really believe it. We can say that God's good and that

1267
01:28:17.620 --> 01:28:20.620
he loves us and the unconditionally accepts us all he want but if we don't

1268
01:28:20.620 --> 01:28:24.300
act like it then we actually aren't believing it. And that's what James is

1269
01:28:24.300 --> 01:28:28.180
talking about. He said your faith without works is dead. In other words

1270
01:28:28.180 --> 01:28:35.020
faith without acting on it isn't really faith. You really don't believe it because

1271
01:28:35.020 --> 01:28:40.100
you'll always act on what it is you really do believe. So that's how you know

1272
01:28:40.100 --> 01:28:43.980
what you believe is what are you doing? What are you making? What decisions are

1273
01:28:43.980 --> 01:28:48.260
you making? That kind of a thing. So you choose that you are who God says that

1274
01:28:48.260 --> 01:28:52.620
you are. That you really are good. And you asked about scripture verses about

1275
01:28:52.620 --> 01:28:55.900
about good. I don't remember all the scripture verses but think about the

1276
01:28:55.900 --> 01:29:00.420
fact that you know for instance you no longer live but Christ lives in you. Yes.

1277
01:29:00.420 --> 01:29:04.940
And so things like that. He's perfectly good. And it says that in the Bible it

1278
01:29:04.940 --> 01:29:10.580
says God is good period. So things like that and then it says also that

1279
01:29:10.580 --> 01:29:14.620
goodness is a fruit of the Spirit. It's not something that you work for. It's a

1280
01:29:14.620 --> 01:29:19.540
fruit of the Spirit meaning that we're joined with his spirit. That's the fruit

1281
01:29:19.540 --> 01:29:22.860
we bear in our body. It means that you already have love. You already have joy.

1282
01:29:22.860 --> 01:29:26.460
You already have peace. You don't have you already have patience. You're not

1283
01:29:26.460 --> 01:29:30.300
supposed to have to work for those things and work on those things. That's

1284
01:29:30.340 --> 01:29:33.300
what the flesh has to do because the flesh doesn't have them. It has to work

1285
01:29:33.300 --> 01:29:37.460
for them. But we just receive it very naturally from the Spirit. The reason

1286
01:29:37.460 --> 01:29:40.500
you're not seeing all of the fruits of the Spirit to the degree that you want

1287
01:29:40.500 --> 01:29:45.620
to in your life is because of because you don't believe that you have them. So

1288
01:29:45.620 --> 01:29:48.340
if you don't believe that you have them then they're sitting there and you

1289
01:29:48.340 --> 01:29:51.140
haven't grabbed it yet because you haven't chosen that it's true. Once you

1290
01:29:51.140 --> 01:29:56.220
choose that it's true you start acting like it. You start you start feeling

1291
01:29:56.220 --> 01:30:00.100
peaceful. You start feeling joy. You start feeling

1292
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.800
loving and acting loving. And like, where did this come from? It's because it's who you are. And you

1293
01:30:04.800 --> 01:30:09.440
chose that you were the thing because God said, you were, God said, this is the reality. Your

1294
01:30:09.440 --> 01:30:14.880
reality is this is your identity. So there you go. Now, do you choose it or not? Cause you don't get

1295
01:30:14.880 --> 01:30:23.520
to have it, see it in your life until you take the risk of disappointment in yourself, in God.

1296
01:30:23.520 --> 01:30:28.400
And what if this doesn't work? What would this do to my life? If I like start acting like it

1297
01:30:28.400 --> 01:30:32.720
and reality proves to be very different, you know, it's all of this risk that goes on in our,

1298
01:30:32.720 --> 01:30:36.480
you know, ideas of risk that go on in your head of all the things that we could do that could

1299
01:30:36.480 --> 01:30:42.000
happen. We think, what if I choose that it's reality, but it's not really reality. So it

1300
01:30:42.000 --> 01:30:46.720
won't work out. Well, that's what you have to risk. It's why it's so hard. It's why faith is

1301
01:30:46.720 --> 01:30:52.080
so hard. So you choose it. And you're like, you know, if God said it's true, then I have to believe

1302
01:30:52.080 --> 01:30:58.640
that it's true. I'm going to choose what God said over all of this proof that I see in creation,

1303
01:30:58.640 --> 01:31:04.800
which is simply only manifesting the fact that we've been telling creation lies about God.

1304
01:31:05.760 --> 01:31:10.960
So that's the way it acts. It acts as if a God isn't true because that's what we've been telling

1305
01:31:10.960 --> 01:31:16.080
it is true. Tell it something different now so it can start acting like, but it's true,

1306
01:31:16.080 --> 01:31:20.880
you know? So anyway, that's what faith is and that's what you choose about yourself. So yes,

1307
01:31:20.880 --> 01:31:26.400
you can talk to your soul and your body, but before you do that, you have to shift into your

1308
01:31:26.400 --> 01:31:31.760
spirit. In other words, your spirit always believes God. So you have to choose that that really is

1309
01:31:31.760 --> 01:31:39.360
true about you, that that really is, that that really is reality, that identity that God says

1310
01:31:39.360 --> 01:31:45.040
that you are. And it'll feel risky because you won't feel like that to you. You won't feel like

1311
01:31:45.040 --> 01:31:50.240
in maternally anything's changed. Logically, it doesn't make sense. You want to find all the

1312
01:31:50.240 --> 01:31:55.600
scripture in the Bible. So finding scripture in the Bible in order to prove, you know, between

1313
01:31:55.600 --> 01:32:00.720
you and the Lord that what I'm saying really is true, that is fine. But where you can't find

1314
01:32:00.720 --> 01:32:08.160
enough, oh, I just need a little more. That's not faith because God's told you in certain parts of

1315
01:32:08.160 --> 01:32:11.840
scripture and you find in between you and the Lord, you listen to the Lord's spirit in you and

1316
01:32:11.840 --> 01:32:16.400
he'll tell you, you know, whether what you're reading is true or not and what it means and all

1317
01:32:16.400 --> 01:32:21.200
of that stuff. He's his own interpreter, you know, but if you're like, yeah, but it's not,

1318
01:32:21.200 --> 01:32:25.120
I need a little more. Yeah, it's not enough. I need a little more. Then what we're doing is we're

1319
01:32:25.120 --> 01:32:32.480
using the Bible as our proof to try to convince us. And God's saying, no, I want to be enough.

1320
01:32:33.280 --> 01:32:39.280
Did I tell you, did I tell you in your spirit? So looking for it in the Bible, that's fine.

1321
01:32:39.280 --> 01:32:45.760
Relying on it where to the point where God telling us isn't enough. And we keep throwing the Bible

1322
01:32:45.760 --> 01:32:50.960
back at God saying, yeah, but God, you, I don't have it enough in here. Yeah, but I don't have,

1323
01:32:50.960 --> 01:32:56.160
you know, I still don't have it enough. And then we start using God and we start putting the Bible

1324
01:32:56.160 --> 01:33:04.080
between us and God. That's the end we start and create. So that's the problem. But otherwise,

1325
01:33:04.080 --> 01:33:09.360
you know, just finding like the second scripture, that's fine. Absolutely. Okay.

1326
01:33:10.320 --> 01:33:17.680
Thank you so much. I so appreciate our time. You're welcome. I did too. It was good to see you

1327
01:33:17.680 --> 01:33:24.800
and I will, my husband and I are going to be leaving town. So we will have that. We'll have

1328
01:33:24.800 --> 01:33:30.720
spotty internet connection for a bit. So I might not get to uploading the video until next week,

1329
01:33:30.720 --> 01:33:35.280
but I'll try to upload it as soon as I can for you. And then I'll tell you how to access it.

1330
01:33:36.160 --> 01:33:41.040
So you'll have a login and everything. Yeah. Okay, perfect. And then

1331
01:33:43.200 --> 01:33:47.680
are you, you're planning on doing another breakthrough class sometime next year?

1332
01:33:49.200 --> 01:33:56.560
You know, I, I don't know. I honestly have no idea. I'm taking a, a, another sabbatical or

1333
01:33:56.560 --> 01:34:00.400
how you get through whatever from, from the ministry for a while, other than doing like

1334
01:34:00.400 --> 01:34:06.080
one-on-one consultation. Cause I feel like the Lord's wanting to teach me like some deeper things

1335
01:34:06.080 --> 01:34:10.080
and help me understand some things that I don't understand that I'm hoping will be helpful to

1336
01:34:10.080 --> 01:34:17.680
other people. But you remember that what I based my ministry off of is my life and what I've learned

1337
01:34:17.680 --> 01:34:22.640
from the Lord and what he and I live together. So there are some things that I feel like I'm

1338
01:34:22.640 --> 01:34:30.560
missing in my relationship with the Lord that I want to have and and to be deeper in. And I think

1339
01:34:30.560 --> 01:34:37.200
that he wants me to focus on that and then I'll have something to give. But so that's why I think

1340
01:34:37.200 --> 01:34:44.160
that he wants me to stop is just to focus on, on he and I for a while, but I'm doing the one-on-one

1341
01:34:44.160 --> 01:34:50.080
consultations. That's been fun. But so I, so the thing is, I don't know if I'll do another one or

1342
01:34:50.080 --> 01:34:59.840
not, but but in the meantime, I do have these. Yeah. Oh, perfect. Okay. All right.

1343
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:01.160
to see you, Wengie.

1344
01:35:01.480 --> 01:35:04.280
You too. Have a good vacation.

1345
01:35:04.760 --> 01:35:06.320
Thank you and Merry Christmas.

1346
01:35:06.800 --> 01:35:08.240
Oh, Merry Christmas to you too.

1347
01:35:09.520 --> 01:35:10.160
Bye.