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Good evening, everyone. How are you? It's great to see everyone. Look at all your lovely faces. Hello. Yes, Jeanette. I see you smiling, girl. I like it. All right, let me see you all. For whoever can turn on your cameras. This is your challenge tonight right out of the gate. I want to see you. I want to see you. If you're driving, obviously I get it.

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Let us see your beautiful faces. Yes. Yes. This is going to be a part of the regular activation. When you join us on live, let us see you. And it's okay if you're eating and you want to turn your camera off. Don't feel like you can't. But it's just like, hey, here I am. And I'm showing up and I'm letting you see me.

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We come, like I have lipstick on tonight, but we come whether our makeup's done or not. We come if our hair is done or not. So we just show up, ladies. Okay. So it's so good to see you. If you have never met me before, I'm Bethany Cooper. I'm one of the hardware coaches in this group.

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I'm going to see if I can get a few of you to raise your hands if you're new. I'm going to see if I can get a few of you to raise your hand. We'll see if we can get a few of you to raise your hand. How many of you, you don't have to do digital hands. That's okay. How many are joining us for the first time tonight? Can I see a raise of hands if anyone's brand-new tonight? Anyone? Okay. Let's see. Guislene? Is that right? Guisline? You can tell me if I'm right or wrong in the chat. Give me a pronunciation. That will help me, too. All right. So if there's others of you, go ahead and just say hi to me in the chat and say, I'm new. I'm new. So I can see you even if I couldn't see you raising your hand.

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That's okay.

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I'm going to see if I can get a few of you to raise your hand.

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A couple things, super important.

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I'm going to do the housekeeping first as always.

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Let's see.

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A push record.

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Awesome.

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I didn't want to forget that.

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A couple things tonight.

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On this journey, it's not a race.

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I have several of you trying to get done with your heart work in two and a half to three weeks.

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You're going to be doing those three to four weeks.

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So, don't be shy.

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I don't want to say it's an easy process.

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I want you to take one week for every week of content.

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Here's why.

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When you're flying through there and you're binge-watching,

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you're not really giving yourself full time to process even what you're hearing,

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what you're reading.

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You're not really giving a lot of room to the Holy Spirit to come in and speak to you in those places.

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So, I want you to take a minute to do that.

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If you're at the door and you just started two weeks ago,

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that's too fast.

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So I want you to go back.

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And I want you to rewatch some of the videos and really take time with the

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questions in journal.

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And let the Lord speak to you.

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And really open up and slow down.

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Sometimes what I find is that when people,

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and this isn't the case for everyone,

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but sometimes when people are rushing through,

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they don't know when they're going to be in the right place.

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And I just want to say this,

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because I'm going to be talking about this a lot on this program here,

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but I can tell you if you guys will allow it.

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This program will literally transform things and things you thought you

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already knew about. You might just not know about yet.

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And the other thing is that sometimes people will do that to actually

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avoid.

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Feeling the pain of what they need to process.

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And I want you to let me know if you're struggling with that.

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I want you to let me know.

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I want you to let me know.

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I want you to let me know.

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I want you to let me know that you can do everything out of this process

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that you can, if you're struggling to face some of the pain or any of that

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kind of stuff. I want you to let me know.

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You can do that by creating a post, you know,

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and letting us kind of just know where you're at.

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And then we can come alongside of you there.

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The other thing is that I want you all to give yourself a lot of grace.

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I've noticed several people feeling like.

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They're not keeping up with everyone. I want you to know it's okay.

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If you need more time,

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some of you guys are going to have life that happens. Some of you guys,

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you're going to find that you need a week and a half or two weeks in some

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of these weeks.

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It's not that we, we say you can't take longer if you need it.

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Now,

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if we feel like you're just hanging out in hard work and you're going to

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wear yourself out, we'll tell you that too. Okay.

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Cause hard work's a forever journey.

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So you're never going to stop doing it,

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but this intensive process is different than doing it as a part of your

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life going forward.

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The last thing I wanted to mention the divorce and remarriage video.

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When you guys get to the week that that video is there,

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even if you've never been divorced,

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I strongly and highly recommend that you watch that video.

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Here's why for a couple of reasons.

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A lot of what Jackie teaches is very healthy,

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biblical support.

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And it also talks about like the church has taught some things wrong and

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it's really bound people and,

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and really shamed a lot of people that have gone through divorce.

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The other thing is that you might meet someone that's been divorced or

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will be divorced.

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You guys might meet your spirit mate and maybe they will be divorced.

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So having these kinds of understandings and thinking yeah,

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you should.

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Oh, you're driving.

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but engaged. Yes. Yes. I was like, wait, you shouldn't be engaged yet. If you're in here,

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I totally almost you all. I was like, wait, how did that happen? Okay. Supernatural you all.

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It's a supernatural work in here. All right. Oh, that was funny. That was funny. It's getting late

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here in the Eastern time zone. So, all right, let me pray for us. I'm excited to jump into our

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content. It's going to be so good. I hope you guys came expecting. Okay, Karen, thank you for

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letting me know that. If you all do have spotty Zoom, just know it's okay. Like sometimes I keep

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an eye on people. If I can tell you're lagging to get into the breakouts, I'll just keep an eye on

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that breakout and we'll kind of like wait for you to get in there and that kind of thing. All right,

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let me pray. Father, thank you so much for this night. God, thank you for more revealings for

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healing even happening. Even now as I pray, God, that you would help people to feel seen,

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heard, known, loved, accepted. God, people that fell discarded by parents, by authority figures,

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stepped on, pressed down. Lord, I pray that you would just open their spirits up tonight. Lord,

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that you would help them to come further out of hiding, that you come help them to come further

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into healing. God, that you would just bring redemption and restoration. But Lord, I pray that

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you would also just help them to be vulnerable, help them to open up every part of their heart,

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the areas where they may be in the past, have not let other people in. But God, tonight they

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would let you first and foremost in. And I pray that you would just bring revealing and insight,

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remove any filters or blind spots that we have. Help us hear what your spirit is saying to us,

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help us to see our lives through your lens, Father. Lord, I thank you that you look at us

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with eyes of love and your loving kindness leads us to repentance and transformation. Help us to

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choose that good path tonight. And we just thank you in advance, Holy Spirit, for coming and just

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weaving throughout our conversations and throughout tonight's session. And we just ask you to have

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your way in Jesus name. Amen. Amen. All right. So last week we talked a little bit about confession

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and repentance. We talked about lies and we're going to expand on that tonight. We're going to

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talk about more than that, but I just kind of wanted you guys to know where I'm basically using

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last week as a launch pad into tonight. So for that part of it, our broken heart, I want to kind

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of do a little bit of a quick review. I want to say hi to our ladies on Facebook too. I almost

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forgot to say hi to you. Welcome. We love you. We see you as well. Our broken heart is our biggest

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foe. A lot of times people don't understand, or we always blame the devil for everything.

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There are times that the devil, yes, 100% is the one at fault. He's the one trying to roam around

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and deceive us. He's tripping us up. He's tempting us, all these things, but our broken heart is

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actually our biggest foe. It's what deceives us the most. So that's why taking the time to allow

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your heart to heal, allowing God to reveal the traumas that have not been healed, bring things up

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out of the darkness into the light so that you can see things that you haven't even thought of.

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In 20 years, some of you all have things coming up. We have revealings for healing happening

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supernaturally in this group right now. If you guys aren't able, sometimes just take some time

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and read people in the group's posts, because here's the thing. Some of y'all are going to

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get breakthrough from reading someone else's post in the group. You are. God is doing a great work.

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The other thing is that when some of you guys struggle, like, how will I ever learn to trust

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again? I struggle with trust. What do I do with that? The more that your heart heals,

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the healthier you become, the healthier choices you will also make, which will enable you to trust

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more. That's how it works. So again, because also this is the sidebar here. The healthier we become,

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you all, and the more healed our hearts become, the more we see God, the Father, Jesus Christ,

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and the Holy Spirit as they truly are. Because we are leaning more into truth every single day.

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We're growing closer to the understanding of who He is, who they are as three in one, and what they

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mean to us personally. So I encourage you guys, if you're ever, like, really struggling to trust,

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I know I say a lot of different scriptures, but really, really leaning into who is God the Father?

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Who is Jesus Christ to you? Who is the Holy Spirit to you? What does that mean to you personally?

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For them to come into your life and live and move and have their being and work on your behalf.

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Not just other people's, but yours. Where they lovingly call you by name and speak to you with love.

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things into existence that don't currently exist in your life. God is a creator from the beginning

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of time. So some of you are struggling to believe that God can heal you. Some of you are struggling

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to believe that God can provide a spirit mate that he will lead you on that path. And there's

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no shame in that you all. That's where some of you are at. And it's recognizing and acknowledging it

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so that you can step further into healing. But here's the thing. Also, knowing who God is to

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you personally, and knowing that he literally can speak something into existence, can transform the

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whole way that you look at his provision in your life. And his capability, you know, just meditating

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on how powerful he is. And some of you might have right now even coming right up in your spirit,

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well then why hasn't he already done that for me? And here's the thing. Some of you all he's

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been trying, but your counterfeit identities are leading you away from the good things

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and you're choosing unhealthy things instead. So I want you guys to start putting in the chat

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some of the ways that the enemy, or excuse me, your heart, your unhealthy heart has been lying

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to you in the past. It can be anything. Anything that, what is the Lord revealing to you

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right now that in this last week, could be today, anytime. What is God showing you about your

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unhealthy heart? How it lies to you? I'm going to start to read some of these out. I see rejection.

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Michelle, thank you for putting that in the chat. Anyone else have any lies that have been surfacing

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your unhealthy heart? Things it says to you? I'm going to wait for those not deserving enough

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that I don't choose well. Wasting my time. Okay, Selena, that's legit.

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That's legit. They're all legit, but that one really stood out to me. All right, I'm going to

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try to keep up. These are going good. Said I deserve punishment. Also encourage those watching

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on Facebook to share as well, because people that watch the replay, it'll minister to them when they

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see it. That I have to control my circumstances. People to, I think you stay safe. I think you

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maybe stay safe there. My picker's off. So much fear and rejection. Good things are not for you.

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All right, who's iPhone there? Tell me who you are, so I know who's saying that.

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All right, I'm going to keep letting those go.

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I have to stay available to others at all times. Yeah, we're going to debunk that tonight, Joyce.

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We're going to talk about that towards the end. All right, these are so good. Thank you guys for

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sharing. So here are some other things that I started thinking about in the areas where our

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hearts lie to us. Number one, it's telling you that you want things that you don't actually want.

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So for example, some of you guys have old guys coming back in your life, out of nowhere,

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showing up, trying to slip into your DMs, texting you, and your unhealthy heart is like,

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oh, I miss that guy, even though he was super unhealthy and treated you horribly. Some of you

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have old friendships that are doing that, coming out of the woodwork, people you haven't

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talked to in years. Now, if they're healed and healthy, awesome. But if they're still unhealthy,

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then they're going to just come in and be a, sorry, pardon me, I think Jackie says this,

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I might sound like a drain slut, they're just going to suck you dry. Yeah, that's the stuff

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that we think, oh my gosh, that friendship, I was so much stronger and better when I had that friend.

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Some of us live in the shadows of our friends instead of fully living into our own selves.

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So we hide behind other friendships that are unhealthy, old behaviors. So what are some of

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your old behaviors that your unhealthy heart is saying, hey, go do this. Maybe it's, all right,

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this didn't come up earlier today, but it just came up in my spirit. Maybe it's reading those

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love novels, you all, maybe it's watching the stuff on TV that is borderline soft porn,

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because there's a lot of it out there now. I might step on some toes, but I'm going to,

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I'm going to go for it. The 50 shades of gray, you all, we don't want that stuff in this house.

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Okay. That totally like clutters up what is truth and what is holy and what is really healthy within

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the framework of a covenant marriage. And Jackie will talk more about that. And so there's no shame

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if you've watched it, read it, done all those things. I just want to encourage you all. Those

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are your unhealthy heart is leading you towards those things. Maybe some of you it's, you know,

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drinking a lot. Maybe some of it's, you know, we have had a lot of people confess to masturbation,

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all kinds of stuff. You all, we try to fill voids in our hearts and our souls and our lives

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with things that are not healthy for us. The only thing,

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the only thing that can come in and literally fill that void is God.

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God himself and your healing and your healed heart becoming whole and then it will lead

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you to choose other things.

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All right, the other thing here is your unhealthy heart is telling you that you need things

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that you don't actually need.

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So that's the flip side.

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So it might be saying to you, if you had this thing or this thing, then you would be happy.

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For some of you, it is the spirit mate.

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In your mind, you think the only way I can be happy is if I have the man.

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And of course, we believe that God has drawn you here.

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We believe he's preparing you for marriage.

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So I'm not saying don't want that thing, don't want that spirit mate.

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But what I am saying is God wants to heal you and restore you and rebuild you to a place

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that you're coming to that relationship whole.

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So I don't know if you guys have ever heard, you know, when you have two whole people,

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that's when you can become one.

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But no, like if I came in a half version of myself and the other person came in a half

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version that doesn't make one because both people are unhealthy and like it really causes

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there to be a struggle to actually come together.

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Okay.

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All right.

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So maybe your unhealthy heart is telling you things like this.

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Tell me if this, oh, I forgot.

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So some of the things I mentioned this earlier, that where this can show up.

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If I had this title, this job, I would be happy.

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If I had this car, I would be happy.

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If I had this, whatever house fill in the blank, love, love to see you guys.

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Are there things that the enemy is like telling you, if you had this thing, this would make

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you happy.

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You can put that in the chat.

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If you feel led to go ahead and chime in.

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All right.

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Some of the other lies you guys might be hearing, Melissa, good one.

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Yes.

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If you were skinnier, you'd be happy.

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If we have a baby, we'll be happy.

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These are real things too.

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It's okay that we want these things, but we just have to make sure that we don't get out

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of alignment and let that become an idol and our main focus.

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All right.

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Tamika put the actual title in there.

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I like it.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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More money, more money.

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I see that.

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All right.

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00:17:22.760 --> 00:17:25.119
Um, some of the other lies sound like this.

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I've got this.

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I'm okay.

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I'm happy being single because even though some people are here, we have, we have people

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that actually tell us as they go through heartwork and step back into phase two, where they're

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having to like, start talking to people again, they're like, you know what?

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It's just easier being single.

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I actually, we have people that go towards marriage, they get engaged and then they're

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like, wait a minute.

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I don't want this person to move in.

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I don't want, I don't want to have to get rid of my stuff.

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I don't want to have to compromise.

246
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It's just easier being single.

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I'm serious.

248
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You all, this is legit stuff that happens.

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We had a woman that would not let her husband move his stuff in the house.

250
00:18:07.400 --> 00:18:09.400
Yeah.

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We want to make sure we get prepared in our hearts now to make room for them.

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We say we want a spirit mate.

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We say we want babies.

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We say we want all kinds of stuff, but you all, it takes work, takes work and preparation.

255
00:18:22.600 --> 00:18:23.760
It's good thing.

256
00:18:23.760 --> 00:18:29.080
I can tell you, I, I do, I do not regret for one second desiring my spirit mate and walking

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into marriage.

258
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Is it hard some days?

259
00:18:31.680 --> 00:18:32.680
Yeah.

260
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You got to learn and you got to grow.

261
00:18:34.080 --> 00:18:38.520
And sometimes you're still revealing for healing happening, but praise God, it's good.

262
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So that's what God wants for you all.

263
00:18:39.640 --> 00:18:40.640
Okay.

264
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A couple more lies.

265
00:18:41.640 --> 00:18:45.760
Uh, I'm content just the way I am.

266
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This is how I didn't say this one earlier today, but this one comes up a lot.

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This is just who I am.

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This is just who I am.

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So people that kind of come in and they're like, yeah, I'm not changing my spirit mates

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going to have to like me just the way I am, just the size I am just the, whatever you

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all seriously.

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Those are the things that we hear too.

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And I'm not saying, yes, we want them to love you, to accept you for who you are, but let's,

274
00:19:14.600 --> 00:19:15.720
let's also be honest.

275
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We want the men to look good, but some of us don't want to take care of ourselves.

276
00:19:21.760 --> 00:19:22.920
And that happens too.

277
00:19:22.920 --> 00:19:27.680
So maybe, maybe it's not about the makeup or the certain way your hair is, but it's

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00:19:27.680 --> 00:19:33.200
about being a full version of yourself, a healthy healed version of you so that you

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show up fully because guess what?

280
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Healing on the inside transforms the outside.

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Y'all will start glowing.

282
00:19:39.960 --> 00:19:43.000
People will start to comment like what's going on with you.

283
00:19:43.000 --> 00:19:45.880
Like you look different in a good way.

284
00:19:45.880 --> 00:19:49.720
They're going to start to notice because healing and the glory of God is going to start to

285
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be revealed through you.

286
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That's what's going to happen.

287
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All right.

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Here's the last one.

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I don't need anyone's help.

290
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I don't need anyone's help.

291
00:20:02.760 --> 00:20:05.560
All right, Jeremiah 17, nine through 10

292
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in the message version says this,

293
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I treat them as they are, not as they should,

294
00:20:13.000 --> 00:20:14.800
I'm sorry, not as they pretend to be.

295
00:20:14.800 --> 00:20:15.640
I'm gonna read that again

296
00:20:15.640 --> 00:20:17.120
because I totally almost messed that up.

297
00:20:17.120 --> 00:20:21.520
I treat them as they are, not as they pretend to be.

298
00:20:21.520 --> 00:20:26.280
So what that's saying is God is going to treat you

299
00:20:26.280 --> 00:20:29.960
like the version of you that he created.

300
00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:34.320
Not the version of you that you're pretending to be.

301
00:20:34.320 --> 00:20:36.400
So we're gonna talk about this for a minute.

302
00:20:37.320 --> 00:20:39.880
Some of you all are hiding behind masks

303
00:20:41.400 --> 00:20:43.740
because you think it makes you look

304
00:20:43.740 --> 00:20:45.640
like you have it all together.

305
00:20:45.640 --> 00:20:48.080
Some of you have things that you don't really

306
00:20:48.080 --> 00:20:51.200
wanna reveal about yourself because you're afraid

307
00:20:51.200 --> 00:20:55.200
that if people actually knew you, they wouldn't love you.

308
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These are things that we heard today

309
00:20:56.920 --> 00:20:58.740
in the earlier breakout session.

310
00:20:58.740 --> 00:21:00.420
This is stuff I hear all the time.

311
00:21:00.420 --> 00:21:02.860
Some of you are afraid that if someone knows

312
00:21:02.860 --> 00:21:05.540
that you committed the sin that you committed,

313
00:21:05.540 --> 00:21:07.960
like they won't, they won't accept you.

314
00:21:09.180 --> 00:21:11.420
And there's all different kinds of masks.

315
00:21:11.420 --> 00:21:13.980
Again, the titles, the things.

316
00:21:13.980 --> 00:21:17.740
So today's first breakout session is on this topic.

317
00:21:17.740 --> 00:21:19.300
You're gonna go into the breakout session

318
00:21:19.300 --> 00:21:22.660
and yes, some of you guys have never met each other,

319
00:21:22.660 --> 00:21:27.100
but I'm encouraging you, even those of you that are scared,

320
00:21:27.100 --> 00:21:29.940
if you will give yourself three minutes

321
00:21:29.940 --> 00:21:32.740
of just the most courage you could have

322
00:21:32.740 --> 00:21:35.660
in each breakout session and let God,

323
00:21:35.660 --> 00:21:39.060
even if it's one word you all that you get out tonight

324
00:21:39.060 --> 00:21:42.460
on like, what's the mask that you hide behind?

325
00:21:42.460 --> 00:21:45.700
Where does the enemy try to get you to pretend?

326
00:21:45.700 --> 00:21:47.180
And what mask do you need to,

327
00:21:47.180 --> 00:21:49.380
like what needs to come off tonight

328
00:21:49.380 --> 00:21:51.420
so you can show up as the real you?

329
00:21:52.580 --> 00:21:54.660
I wanna encourage you to do that.

330
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And here's why.

331
00:21:56.940 --> 00:22:00.260
There is power in your voice.

332
00:22:00.260 --> 00:22:03.140
Some of you, the enemy has tried to destroy your voice

333
00:22:03.140 --> 00:22:04.780
your entire lives.

334
00:22:04.780 --> 00:22:07.420
And so you come onto the breakout and some of you are,

335
00:22:07.420 --> 00:22:09.540
you know, I get it, you don't know each other.

336
00:22:09.540 --> 00:22:11.140
It's like, I don't know if I can trust,

337
00:22:11.140 --> 00:22:12.780
but this is a safe place here.

338
00:22:12.780 --> 00:22:15.820
What you share here doesn't go outside of here.

339
00:22:15.820 --> 00:22:17.100
So I hope all of you know,

340
00:22:17.100 --> 00:22:19.060
like don't share it outside of here.

341
00:22:19.060 --> 00:22:21.640
I think everyone's on the same page there, right?

342
00:22:21.680 --> 00:22:24.960
So go into your breakout and be vulnerable.

343
00:22:24.960 --> 00:22:26.480
Take a risk.

344
00:22:26.480 --> 00:22:28.120
You know, love is a risk.

345
00:22:28.120 --> 00:22:30.080
Being vulnerable is a risk.

346
00:22:30.080 --> 00:22:31.640
You know, I get on here every week

347
00:22:31.640 --> 00:22:33.560
and I tell you all my dirty secrets.

348
00:22:34.680 --> 00:22:35.520
I do.

349
00:22:35.520 --> 00:22:37.080
Over time, you guys learn more and more

350
00:22:37.080 --> 00:22:38.280
about the things I've been through,

351
00:22:38.280 --> 00:22:40.320
the things I've struggled with, you know,

352
00:22:40.320 --> 00:22:42.240
whatever that looks like.

353
00:22:42.240 --> 00:22:43.960
And so I wanna encourage you like,

354
00:22:43.960 --> 00:22:46.920
borrow courage from me tonight if you need to,

355
00:22:46.920 --> 00:22:47.800
because I'll give it to you.

356
00:22:47.800 --> 00:22:49.520
I'm giving it to you right now.

357
00:22:49.520 --> 00:22:52.760
And I believe the Holy Spirit's giving you courage as well.

358
00:22:52.760 --> 00:22:55.280
So ask him to help you if you're afraid

359
00:22:55.280 --> 00:22:58.360
and let him work in you, all right?

360
00:22:58.360 --> 00:23:02.620
I'm gonna have three people in this first breakout together.

361
00:23:02.620 --> 00:23:04.780
We have 83 ladies on here tonight

362
00:23:04.780 --> 00:23:06.600
and we have 11 on Facebook.

363
00:23:06.600 --> 00:23:08.240
That's incredible.

364
00:23:08.240 --> 00:23:10.700
All right, I'm gonna give you guys nine minutes

365
00:23:10.700 --> 00:23:12.120
for this first breakout

366
00:23:12.120 --> 00:23:15.680
because I want each to have about three minutes to talk.

367
00:23:17.200 --> 00:23:18.500
Okay, some of you might have to

368
00:23:18.500 --> 00:23:21.540
just because of our numbers are a little bit off.

369
00:23:21.540 --> 00:23:22.380
Okay.

370
00:23:24.980 --> 00:23:27.600
And then I'll be talking to the ladies on Facebook.

371
00:23:27.600 --> 00:23:29.460
I would love to have you guys sharing.

372
00:23:29.460 --> 00:23:33.260
Okay, go ahead and click to join those breakout rooms.

373
00:23:33.260 --> 00:23:34.300
See you guys soon.

374
00:23:34.300 --> 00:23:35.540
I'll be praying.

375
00:23:35.540 --> 00:23:37.780
Ladies on Facebook, I wanna hear from you.

376
00:23:37.780 --> 00:23:39.780
How many of you guys have masks

377
00:23:39.780 --> 00:23:41.960
that you're gonna take off tonight?

378
00:23:41.960 --> 00:23:43.780
And what are those masks?

379
00:23:46.380 --> 00:23:48.420
Oh, well, Dawn, that's totally fine.

380
00:23:49.260 --> 00:23:50.100
You can watch on Facebook.

381
00:23:50.100 --> 00:23:52.460
I know sometimes it just doesn't work schedule-wise.

382
00:23:52.460 --> 00:23:55.100
Hi, Jennifer, so glad that you're here too.

383
00:23:55.100 --> 00:23:57.860
One of our coaches is here on Facebook.

384
00:23:57.860 --> 00:24:00.180
Oh, here she is too on Zoom, awesome.

385
00:24:00.180 --> 00:24:02.360
Hey, do you have anything that,

386
00:24:02.360 --> 00:24:04.040
I don't wanna put you on the spot, it's okay if not.

387
00:24:04.040 --> 00:24:05.980
Do you have anything kind of coming up in your spirit

388
00:24:05.980 --> 00:24:08.860
on the mask or anything God has shown you

389
00:24:08.860 --> 00:24:11.580
that you think could help the ladies as well?

390
00:24:11.580 --> 00:24:14.700
I have several ladies that aren't in rooms yet.

391
00:24:14.700 --> 00:24:17.020
Yeah, go ahead and get them in rooms.

392
00:24:17.660 --> 00:24:19.060
I'm very excited.

393
00:24:19.060 --> 00:24:20.260
There are so many people here.

394
00:24:20.260 --> 00:24:22.440
That's so awesome, it's so amazing.

395
00:24:23.920 --> 00:24:25.980
I think just kind of going into the heart work

396
00:24:25.980 --> 00:24:27.100
and how you were talking about,

397
00:24:27.100 --> 00:24:29.160
like you keep going through it.

398
00:24:29.160 --> 00:24:31.180
Yeah, I'm two years down the road

399
00:24:31.180 --> 00:24:32.420
and it's still coming up for me.

400
00:24:32.420 --> 00:24:34.940
And being in a relationship is still coming up

401
00:24:34.940 --> 00:24:36.180
and it's different.

402
00:24:36.180 --> 00:24:38.980
And I really encourage you all to like take that time

403
00:24:38.980 --> 00:24:41.460
because if you take the time,

404
00:24:41.460 --> 00:24:44.200
perhaps it'll be easier down the road

405
00:24:44.200 --> 00:24:46.500
where you won't have to go back and revisit and revisit

406
00:24:46.980 --> 00:24:48.460
but if you take that time and really focus in

407
00:24:48.460 --> 00:24:51.300
and just kind of slow yourself down and process

408
00:24:51.300 --> 00:24:53.020
and stuff's gonna come up anyways.

409
00:24:53.020 --> 00:24:54.940
But I just, I agree with you, Bethany,

410
00:24:54.940 --> 00:24:57.660
that that time and space to be able to heal

411
00:24:57.660 --> 00:24:59.860
and so important because it's gonna come up.

412
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.000
You can't. Oh, you can't avoid it.

413
00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:04.000
Yes, yes.

414
00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:06.000
So one of the things I was sharing

415
00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:08.000
with the ladies earlier

416
00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:10.000
today, I think I touched on

417
00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:12.000
a little bit, but I do think, oh, let's see.

418
00:25:12.000 --> 00:25:14.000
Carissa, I got to put you in one, girl.

419
00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:16.000
We almost missed you. Hold on. I might have just

420
00:25:16.000 --> 00:25:18.000
put you in the wrong room, though.

421
00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:20.000
I did. Hold

422
00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:22.000
on one sec. Let me put you in

423
00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:24.000
10. Okay. Carissa,

424
00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:26.000
you can go ahead and click to join room

425
00:25:26.000 --> 00:25:28.000
10.

426
00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:30.000
All right.

427
00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:32.000
Hi, Bethany. I am

428
00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:34.000
late. I just got on.

429
00:25:34.000 --> 00:25:36.000
Oh, that's okay.

430
00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:38.000
I'm sitting in a car.

431
00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:40.000
I'm not sure if you're able to even see

432
00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:42.000
me right here. I can see you, yeah.

433
00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:44.000
Yeah, I was

434
00:25:44.000 --> 00:25:46.000
just letting you know it's not your fault. I was late

435
00:25:46.000 --> 00:25:48.000
getting on. Oh, it's okay.

436
00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:50.000
Go ahead, and you can click to join

437
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:52.000
that breakout so you can join the ladies in there, okay?

438
00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:54.000
Okay, awesome. Thank you so much.

439
00:25:54.000 --> 00:25:56.000
You're welcome.

440
00:25:56.000 --> 00:25:58.000
All right.

441
00:25:58.000 --> 00:26:00.000
So I was just going to share some of the

442
00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:02.000
masks for me.

443
00:26:02.000 --> 00:26:04.000
We talked about this a little bit today,

444
00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:06.000
and it might come up in the group share.

445
00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:08.000
I'm not sure, but I think it's worth

446
00:26:08.000 --> 00:26:10.000
mentioning now. Hi,

447
00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:12.000
McCall. Let me put you in a breakout.

448
00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:16.000
Click to join that.

449
00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:18.000
Was the super

450
00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:20.000
woman. Super woman.

451
00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:22.000
Who doesn't want

452
00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:24.000
to be super woman, right? She's got it all together.

453
00:26:24.000 --> 00:26:26.000
She's going to conquer land, and

454
00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:28.000
she can kick butt and

455
00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:30.000
take names, right? Hi, Crystal.

456
00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:32.000
All right, putting you in breakouts.

457
00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:34.000
We're talking

458
00:26:34.000 --> 00:26:36.000
about masks that we need to remove

459
00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:38.000
and come out from

460
00:26:38.000 --> 00:26:40.000
under. So go ahead and click to join that.

461
00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:42.000
All right.

462
00:26:42.000 --> 00:26:44.000
And so I was

463
00:26:44.000 --> 00:26:46.000
talking about just how

464
00:26:46.000 --> 00:26:48.000
many times growing up

465
00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:50.000
because of things I went through,

466
00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:52.000
the enemy really, like,

467
00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:54.000
took care of me.

468
00:26:54.000 --> 00:26:56.000
And so I came almost like this,

469
00:26:56.000 --> 00:26:58.000
I won't say prideful

470
00:26:58.000 --> 00:27:00.000
in a bad way, but like prideful

471
00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:02.000
in the sense that I, like,

472
00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:04.000
took care of people, or that

473
00:27:04.000 --> 00:27:06.000
I could go in and accomplish

474
00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:08.000
something. And

475
00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:10.000
the Lord really had to work on me

476
00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:12.000
through things falling apart

477
00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:14.000
at times

478
00:27:14.000 --> 00:27:16.000
to not, it's okay

479
00:27:16.000 --> 00:27:18.000
for me to want to do well,

480
00:27:18.000 --> 00:27:20.000
right? It's okay for us to want to succeed.

481
00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:22.000
It's okay for us to want to

482
00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:24.000
have success. None of that is

483
00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:26.000
bad. But one of the things I emphasize

484
00:27:26.000 --> 00:27:28.000
to the ladies is that balance is

485
00:27:28.000 --> 00:27:30.000
key in everything. So Jackie

486
00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:32.000
talks a lot about,

487
00:27:32.000 --> 00:27:34.000
you know, anything when we come,

488
00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:36.000
it's overextended. That's when it

489
00:27:36.000 --> 00:27:38.000
becomes out of balance, right?

490
00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:40.000
And so allowing

491
00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:42.000
God to use my giftings

492
00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:44.000
and to help

493
00:27:44.000 --> 00:27:46.000
me,

494
00:27:46.000 --> 00:27:48.000
you know, really thrive

495
00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:50.000
you know, which is one of the things I

496
00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:52.000
love to do, develop other people

497
00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:54.000
to have them help me so

498
00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:56.000
that I don't have to do things by myself

499
00:27:56.000 --> 00:27:58.000
anymore. And really not

500
00:27:58.000 --> 00:28:00.000
being, like,

501
00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:02.000
the other kind of contrast

502
00:28:02.000 --> 00:28:04.000
here, this just came up in my spirit, is that Super

503
00:28:04.000 --> 00:28:06.000
Woman in the movie that came out a couple

504
00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:08.000
years ago, she had

505
00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:10.000
this team of guys around her, right?

506
00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:12.000
And in order to accomplish the mission,

507
00:28:12.000 --> 00:28:14.000
they all had

508
00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:16.000
to work together.

509
00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:18.000
And in the beginning,

510
00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:20.000
you know, she even kind of was like, what

511
00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:22.000
is this guy? What can this guy do, you know?

512
00:28:22.000 --> 00:28:24.000
But that's kind of the gift

513
00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:26.000
is that we don't always know or see

514
00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:28.000
the value in someone else, but God can show us

515
00:28:28.000 --> 00:28:30.000
the value in them and then we can learn how to

516
00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:32.000
be in community and function

517
00:28:32.000 --> 00:28:34.000
together and really

518
00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:36.000
thrive in ways that we couldn't

519
00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:38.000
have on our own. Even

520
00:28:38.000 --> 00:28:40.000
in the scene where they, you know,

521
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:42.000
hold the shield and she

522
00:28:42.000 --> 00:28:44.000
jumps on it and she goes up and, like,

523
00:28:44.000 --> 00:28:46.000
you know, she kind of

524
00:28:46.000 --> 00:28:48.000
demolishes the building. Well, there

525
00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:50.000
had to be someone there to kind of

526
00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:52.000
lift her up, if you will.

527
00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:54.000
So anyways, just food for thought

528
00:28:54.000 --> 00:28:56.000
as you guys are

529
00:28:56.000 --> 00:28:58.000
processing that it

530
00:28:58.000 --> 00:29:00.000
takes community

531
00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:02.000
for things to happen really well.

532
00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:04.000
All right. Cassandra

533
00:29:04.000 --> 00:29:06.000
says, the mask I've been wearing is that

534
00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:08.000
I am fine being alone.

535
00:29:08.000 --> 00:29:10.000
The lie comes from believing people

536
00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:12.000
won't want to be with me

537
00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:14.000
because they're not

538
00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:16.000
comfortable with me.

539
00:29:16.000 --> 00:29:18.000
I've been through

540
00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:20.000
I have healed through a lot

541
00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:22.000
and I'm worried the man I meet will

542
00:29:22.000 --> 00:29:24.000
think I don't value myself and leave

543
00:29:24.000 --> 00:29:26.000
me too. Thank you so much for sharing

544
00:29:26.000 --> 00:29:28.000
and being vulnerable with us.

545
00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:30.000
I'm going to read some of the others

546
00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:32.000
and then I'll come back and do a little bit of

547
00:29:32.000 --> 00:29:34.000
coaching on these. My mask is that

548
00:29:34.000 --> 00:29:36.000
I don't need help. Hyper

549
00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:38.000
independence. My mask, Don

550
00:29:38.000 --> 00:29:40.000
said, sorry, that last one was Sally.

551
00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:42.000
Self-sufficiency.

552
00:29:42.000 --> 00:29:44.000
And just like my mother, I don't need

553
00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:46.000
a man. I want a man, but I'm happy

554
00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:48.000
being single, just me.

555
00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:50.000
Emily says my mask that I wear is

556
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:52.000
I am okay being single

557
00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:54.000
and never having kids.

558
00:29:54.000 --> 00:29:56.000
Emily, that's huge.

559
00:29:56.000 --> 00:29:58.000
Lydia says my mask

560
00:29:58.000 --> 00:30:00.000
is that I don't want a man. I'm okay

561
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:07.200
by myself. All right, let's talk about a couple of these. I'm going to talk about Cassandra's

562
00:30:07.200 --> 00:30:13.040
here for a minute. I'm so sorry. I'm not a big fan of these water bottles. I just want

563
00:30:13.040 --> 00:30:18.760
to say I always think they're kind of weird. So I apologize that I'm using it on the thing

564
00:30:18.760 --> 00:30:24.440
tonight. We're traveling and so I'm making making do tonight. All right. So she says

565
00:30:24.440 --> 00:30:29.000
the mask I've been wearing is that I'm fine being alone. It comes from but believing people

566
00:30:29.000 --> 00:30:33.160
won't want to be with me if they find out the list of trauma. So let's let's just talk

567
00:30:33.160 --> 00:30:40.680
about this for a second. Here's the truth is that healthy healed and whole people are

568
00:30:40.680 --> 00:30:46.960
going to see you for the healthy healed version of who you are or who you're becoming. You

569
00:30:46.960 --> 00:30:51.120
know, that's the thing. Like it's not just who we were or what we've been through. We're

570
00:30:51.120 --> 00:30:56.560
not labeled by our traumas. We're not labeled by those things we've been through. We don't

571
00:30:56.560 --> 00:31:01.000
have to allow those to define us. The enemy wants us to do that, but we don't have to

572
00:31:01.000 --> 00:31:06.480
allow that. And so I would encourage you all if you're struggling with any of that kind

573
00:31:06.480 --> 00:31:13.360
of stuff, like asking the Lord to redefine your your view of even your trauma, because

574
00:31:13.360 --> 00:31:17.540
you might get a little bit mind blown on some of that when when God really starts showing

575
00:31:17.540 --> 00:31:24.360
you how much purpose there is in the pain that you've been through and really just changes

576
00:31:24.440 --> 00:31:31.440
the way that you view what you've been through through the lens of the father. Yes, it's

577
00:31:31.440 --> 00:31:36.160
painful. Yes, it can be a lot. And I can say just so you know, Cassandra, I used to think

578
00:31:36.160 --> 00:31:44.040
the same thing. No joke. I remember the one night I had to tell Brian something that

579
00:31:44.040 --> 00:31:48.920
happened in college. It's not something I talk about a lot, but I had been raped in

580
00:31:48.920 --> 00:31:53.400
college and I was terrified to tell him, especially after going through abuse, you would

581
00:31:53.400 --> 00:31:57.360
think I would catch on and not get in dangerous situations anymore. But it seemed like I could

582
00:31:57.360 --> 00:32:02.240
never get away from that stuff. The enemy just kept pursuing me with the same stuff,

583
00:32:02.240 --> 00:32:08.600
with the same stuff. And anyway, so I remember just being so nervous, like that was the abuse

584
00:32:08.600 --> 00:32:16.160
was easier to tell him than that for me. And man, he was so gracious and kind and loving

585
00:32:16.160 --> 00:32:21.680
and supportive. And I just want to encourage you, like your spirit mate, when you find

586
00:32:21.680 --> 00:32:27.280
the right guy, he's going to be like that too. He is. And he's going to accept you for

587
00:32:27.280 --> 00:32:34.040
yourself. Brian doesn't treat me like a broken person at all. And he has really genuinely,

588
00:32:34.040 --> 00:32:38.680
even with the abuse of like I went through with my brothers, like he sees it from just

589
00:32:38.680 --> 00:32:43.880
the reality that all hurt people, hurt people, broken people, break people, but praise God,

590
00:32:43.880 --> 00:32:48.720
heal people, heal people. And that's why we're getting healed so that we can help, you know,

591
00:32:48.720 --> 00:32:54.440
be a vessel for God to work through, to bring healing and redemption and all kinds of stuff.

592
00:32:54.440 --> 00:32:58.920
I had so many more I wanted to get through. I'll come back to some of y'all later. I won't

593
00:32:58.920 --> 00:33:05.240
forget. Even if I have to respond in text, I will respond to our Facebook ladies. Hello.

594
00:33:05.240 --> 00:33:09.760
Welcome back. All right. We have 30 seconds and then everyone will be back with us.

595
00:33:09.760 --> 00:33:21.800
All right. The seconds take forever when we get to this point, but they'll be here

596
00:33:21.800 --> 00:33:34.880
soon y'all. Okay. I want to encourage you guys to go and look at some of your sister's

597
00:33:34.880 --> 00:33:38.960
comments in the chat. Maybe when you jump off this live, we have some ladies that are

598
00:33:38.960 --> 00:33:44.240
sharing some of their mask in the Facebook feed. So it'd be awesome to see you guys cheering

599
00:33:44.240 --> 00:33:48.040
them on and commenting. If you have time, that's not a have to, you don't have to do

600
00:33:48.040 --> 00:33:51.680
it, but want to encourage you all. If you have time, that would be amazing. Okay. I'm

601
00:33:51.680 --> 00:33:56.120
going to encourage you all to mute for me just because that'll help reduce our feedback.

602
00:33:56.120 --> 00:34:02.840
Okay. So who is willing to share with the whole group what you shared in your private

603
00:34:02.840 --> 00:34:10.360
breakout group about a mask that you're going to remove tonight? Okay. Awesome. Who do we

604
00:34:10.360 --> 00:34:20.440
got here? Bridget, go ahead. Okay. So I was sharing that this week the Lord has been dealing

605
00:34:20.440 --> 00:34:27.320
with me about, I'm a very strong person, but I also have a very soft side where I'm really

606
00:34:27.400 --> 00:34:35.639
tender and sensitive and romantic. And that side, it's like I have it so well contained

607
00:34:35.639 --> 00:34:42.040
and kind of set to the side and I just deny that part of myself even really exists. And

608
00:34:42.040 --> 00:34:48.040
I'm very strong. And so the Lord's been dealing with me about removing obstacles to intimacy

609
00:34:48.040 --> 00:34:55.080
in my relationship with him and being safe in vulnerability and finding that way to take

610
00:34:55.080 --> 00:34:59.960
that armor off that I don't always have to be as strong. And part of me is very

611
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.280
very excited about getting married because I can't wait to relinquish control and take

612
00:35:04.280 --> 00:35:05.640
these pants off.

613
00:35:05.640 --> 00:35:10.440
You know, I'm tired of being the one that's always responsible for everything adulting

614
00:35:10.440 --> 00:35:14.360
in life and have a partner.

615
00:35:14.360 --> 00:35:19.240
But it's also very scary and intimidating and I recognize that there's very few people

616
00:35:19.240 --> 00:35:26.240
that I allow to see that very soft, sensitive, tender side of myself.

617
00:35:26.240 --> 00:35:27.720
Yeah.

618
00:35:27.720 --> 00:35:28.720
So good.

619
00:35:28.720 --> 00:35:29.720
Okay.

620
00:35:29.960 --> 00:35:33.120
You got to start practicing now to take those pants off.

621
00:35:33.120 --> 00:35:35.520
Don't wait for the spirit mate to come.

622
00:35:35.520 --> 00:35:40.240
And I believe God will provide you opportunities to let other people come in and help you because

623
00:35:40.240 --> 00:35:42.440
you don't have to do it all by yourself anymore.

624
00:35:42.440 --> 00:35:46.960
When y'all went in the breakout, I talked about Wonder Woman, Super Woman.

625
00:35:46.960 --> 00:35:47.960
Who did I talk about?

626
00:35:47.960 --> 00:35:48.960
Whatever her name is.

627
00:35:48.960 --> 00:35:51.840
She came up in the earlier session today at one o'clock.

628
00:35:51.840 --> 00:35:54.480
And so I brought her up when you all were in the breakout.

629
00:35:54.480 --> 00:35:57.520
You know, we don't have to be Wonder Woman, Super Woman.

630
00:35:58.320 --> 00:36:00.520
I can't remember what she's called, you all.

631
00:36:00.520 --> 00:36:01.520
What is her name?

632
00:36:01.520 --> 00:36:03.840
Is it Super Woman or Wonder Woman?

633
00:36:03.840 --> 00:36:04.840
Both.

634
00:36:04.840 --> 00:36:05.840
They both exist, don't they?

635
00:36:05.840 --> 00:36:06.840
All right.

636
00:36:06.840 --> 00:36:07.840
Whatever.

637
00:36:07.840 --> 00:36:10.520
The strong woman who does everything by herself.

638
00:36:10.520 --> 00:36:16.520
But what I said to debunk that, if y'all knew the movie, she's got a team, a team of

639
00:36:16.520 --> 00:36:19.960
guys who goes with her on the mission.

640
00:36:19.960 --> 00:36:25.560
And even some of the really big moments in the movie, the guys use the shield to help

641
00:36:25.600 --> 00:36:30.880
her jump off and have that kind of catapult moment.

642
00:36:30.880 --> 00:36:37.200
So y'all, it takes people, takes a tribe, takes community, takes allowing yourself to

643
00:36:37.200 --> 00:36:38.320
let people in.

644
00:36:38.320 --> 00:36:40.800
So practice now.

645
00:36:40.800 --> 00:36:42.520
Don't literally take the pants off.

646
00:36:42.520 --> 00:36:43.800
Y'all understand what I'm saying?

647
00:36:43.800 --> 00:36:48.800
You let people help you get out of the bossy, get out of the mindset that you got to do

648
00:36:48.800 --> 00:36:50.320
it all by yourself.

649
00:36:50.320 --> 00:36:58.880
You know, I'm going to encourage some of you all to let yourself feel weak for like

650
00:36:58.880 --> 00:36:59.960
a few days.

651
00:36:59.960 --> 00:37:08.600
What does it feel like to let yourself feel weak in the sense of it's okay if you don't

652
00:37:08.600 --> 00:37:10.080
have it all together?

653
00:37:10.080 --> 00:37:17.440
Some of y'all need to give yourself some permission that you don't have to have it all figured

654
00:37:17.440 --> 00:37:18.440
out.

655
00:37:18.440 --> 00:37:20.440
You don't have to have it all together.

656
00:37:20.440 --> 00:37:21.440
Yeah.

657
00:37:21.440 --> 00:37:28.200
Melissa, I mean, practicing that is literally inviting other people in to help you on a

658
00:37:28.200 --> 00:37:30.360
regular basis.

659
00:37:30.360 --> 00:37:33.440
Not trying to do everything all the time by yourself.

660
00:37:33.440 --> 00:37:36.720
So maybe it's asking someone to take your kid to school one day.

661
00:37:36.720 --> 00:37:37.720
I don't know.

662
00:37:37.720 --> 00:37:41.040
Like you're going to have to ask the Holy Spirit for you.

663
00:37:41.040 --> 00:37:42.040
What does that mean?

664
00:37:42.040 --> 00:37:47.120
If you don't have kids, maybe for you, it's not doing every project at work, which sometimes

665
00:37:47.120 --> 00:37:48.680
I'm guilty of y'all.

666
00:37:48.680 --> 00:37:51.120
I got to ask people for help and I'm learning.

667
00:37:51.120 --> 00:37:55.720
I love to train people up, but sometimes it's hard to train people up because it takes time.

668
00:37:55.720 --> 00:37:58.160
So sometimes I'm like, it's just easier to do it by myself.

669
00:37:58.160 --> 00:37:59.160
No, it's not.

670
00:37:59.160 --> 00:38:02.880
It's really not because there's only one of me and I can only accomplish so much.

671
00:38:02.880 --> 00:38:07.160
But if I build up a team, man, we can, we can accomplish so much together.

672
00:38:07.160 --> 00:38:08.760
So those are the kinds of things you got to invite people in.

673
00:38:08.760 --> 00:38:09.760
Okay.

674
00:38:09.760 --> 00:38:11.640
I don't want to go too far in that romantic.

675
00:38:11.640 --> 00:38:19.320
She said, I sometimes deny that that side of me exists.

676
00:38:19.320 --> 00:38:24.600
How many of you guys have a side of yourself that you deny that it exists?

677
00:38:24.600 --> 00:38:26.080
I'm curious.

678
00:38:26.080 --> 00:38:31.380
I want to hear in the chat, like I want to start to see what, what side do you pretend

679
00:38:31.380 --> 00:38:34.080
of yourself that it doesn't exist?

680
00:38:34.080 --> 00:38:36.960
I think this is a real like eye opener tonight.

681
00:38:36.960 --> 00:38:41.720
This did not come up in our session earlier today.

682
00:38:41.720 --> 00:38:47.640
So some of you guys, you know, that side that you don't want anyone to see, you don't want

683
00:38:47.640 --> 00:38:48.640
that to come out.

684
00:38:48.640 --> 00:38:53.640
I feel like there's something really on that tonight and this is how you take the pants

685
00:38:53.640 --> 00:38:54.640
off.

686
00:38:54.640 --> 00:38:58.040
You let that side come out.

687
00:38:58.040 --> 00:39:05.240
That's a huge thing for some of you to let yourself, you know, vulnerability, you know,

688
00:39:05.240 --> 00:39:09.640
it takes a lot of trust and a lot of you struggle with trust right now, but we've already

689
00:39:09.640 --> 00:39:15.280
established that the more you heal, the more you're going to be able to trust because you're

690
00:39:15.280 --> 00:39:21.240
going to learn that people that God they're trustworthy.

691
00:39:21.240 --> 00:39:26.680
Not everyone, obviously unhealthy people are not trustworthy at times, but when you have

692
00:39:26.680 --> 00:39:31.520
healthy people, they, they can be, do people make mistakes?

693
00:39:31.520 --> 00:39:32.520
Yes, absolutely.

694
00:39:32.520 --> 00:39:33.520
I make mistakes.

695
00:39:33.520 --> 00:39:34.520
Y'all.

696
00:39:34.520 --> 00:39:35.520
Okay.

697
00:39:35.520 --> 00:39:41.560
So we have to give room, but when you have a side of yourself, and then I'm going to

698
00:39:41.560 --> 00:39:46.120
go on to, is it Chris shell?

699
00:39:46.120 --> 00:39:47.120
Yeah.

700
00:39:47.120 --> 00:39:49.760
Chris L herself, herself.

701
00:39:49.760 --> 00:39:52.040
I'm going to come to you here in one second.

702
00:39:52.040 --> 00:39:58.080
So if you have a side of yourself that you actually deny exist, I want to encourage you

703
00:39:58.080 --> 00:39:59.320
this week to ask the Lord.

704
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.640
when was the first time I told that person

705
00:40:03.640 --> 00:40:04.920
they could not be here?

706
00:40:06.280 --> 00:40:08.200
Or that you got in trouble

707
00:40:08.200 --> 00:40:09.840
for showing that side of yourself,

708
00:40:09.840 --> 00:40:12.480
or you got made fun of for showing that side of yourself,

709
00:40:12.480 --> 00:40:14.880
whatever the scenario is for you,

710
00:40:14.880 --> 00:40:16.760
but literally some of you,

711
00:40:16.760 --> 00:40:20.680
like you actually, because something happened to you

712
00:40:20.680 --> 00:40:22.080
when you were showing that side,

713
00:40:22.080 --> 00:40:24.920
maybe you were, you know, trying to be romantic

714
00:40:24.920 --> 00:40:29.080
and the guy just totally crapped on it, I don't know.

715
00:40:29.120 --> 00:40:32.000
But like, whatever that thing is,

716
00:40:32.000 --> 00:40:36.400
it caused you to shrink back and literally tell yourself,

717
00:40:36.400 --> 00:40:39.080
yeah, you, you version of me,

718
00:40:39.080 --> 00:40:42.120
you are not coming back out if I can help it.

719
00:40:43.720 --> 00:40:47.420
Because when you come out to play, I get hurt every time.

720
00:40:49.160 --> 00:40:50.000
That's legit.

721
00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:53.080
Some of you guys are afraid to let the vulnerable side

722
00:40:53.080 --> 00:40:55.480
of you, some of you guys, you know,

723
00:40:55.480 --> 00:40:57.080
again, it's the tough woman,

724
00:40:57.680 --> 00:41:01.520
it's the, you know, the anger hurts bodyguard.

725
00:41:01.520 --> 00:41:03.760
Why does that anger come out?

726
00:41:03.760 --> 00:41:07.320
Because when we have hurt, something is there to protect it.

727
00:41:07.320 --> 00:41:09.600
That's where the anger shows up.

728
00:41:09.600 --> 00:41:12.940
Some of you guys have these really big ideas of,

729
00:41:12.940 --> 00:41:16.800
if I don't, if I'm not strong, if I don't act tough,

730
00:41:16.800 --> 00:41:19.340
if I don't act like I don't need a man,

731
00:41:19.340 --> 00:41:22.800
then, oh my gosh, what would people really know?

732
00:41:24.200 --> 00:41:25.520
That I need someone.

733
00:41:27.400 --> 00:41:28.640
Or that I want someone.

734
00:41:28.640 --> 00:41:30.960
Some of you guys, you're having even a hard time

735
00:41:30.960 --> 00:41:34.620
to admit that you want to be married.

736
00:41:35.640 --> 00:41:37.640
So maybe that's where you're at tonight.

737
00:41:37.640 --> 00:41:39.200
Okay, I'm gonna leave that there for a little bit.

738
00:41:39.200 --> 00:41:40.140
Okay, go ahead.

739
00:41:41.240 --> 00:41:43.240
You actually just said it.

740
00:41:43.240 --> 00:41:45.360
Oh. So admitting

741
00:41:46.320 --> 00:41:49.500
that I not just want a husband, I want to be a wife.

742
00:41:50.760 --> 00:41:53.920
And I've just been, no, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.

743
00:41:54.480 --> 00:41:57.480
This Miss Independent that the world's been selling me,

744
00:41:57.480 --> 00:42:00.120
I've been buying up and eating, and I'm like,

745
00:42:00.120 --> 00:42:01.680
you know what, I'm not.

746
00:42:01.680 --> 00:42:03.240
I'm not, I'm tired,

747
00:42:03.240 --> 00:42:04.960
and I don't want to do Miss Independent anymore.

748
00:42:04.960 --> 00:42:07.040
I was just telling the group, I don't want to do it anymore.

749
00:42:07.040 --> 00:42:12.040
I want to be the soft, caring, kind, compassionate,

750
00:42:13.960 --> 00:42:18.960
gentle, feminine side that God created me to be.

751
00:42:19.000 --> 00:42:23.520
But for too long, I've been doing this Miss Independent.

752
00:42:23.720 --> 00:42:25.920
And I've just come out of denial recently of like,

753
00:42:25.920 --> 00:42:30.920
no, I want to be a wife, and I want a husband.

754
00:42:31.160 --> 00:42:32.640
I can't be a wife without a husband,

755
00:42:32.640 --> 00:42:34.040
so I kind of need the husband.

756
00:42:34.040 --> 00:42:36.480
So it's just a reality check of,

757
00:42:36.480 --> 00:42:39.600
oh, yeah, I got to be honest with myself, so.

758
00:42:40.920 --> 00:42:41.920
That's so good.

759
00:42:41.920 --> 00:42:44.360
And when you were writing, or when you were sharing,

760
00:42:44.360 --> 00:42:46.320
I was writing down this.

761
00:42:47.580 --> 00:42:48.860
Some of you all, guys,

762
00:42:48.860 --> 00:42:51.360
I want you to do an activation on this.

763
00:42:51.360 --> 00:42:55.000
Y'all, I want you to make, even out of paper,

764
00:42:55.000 --> 00:42:57.720
I want you to make like a pretend door sign

765
00:42:57.720 --> 00:42:59.920
that says Miss Independent,

766
00:42:59.920 --> 00:43:01.200
and I want you to hang it up on your door.

767
00:43:01.200 --> 00:43:02.360
And this might sound funny,

768
00:43:02.360 --> 00:43:04.040
because it might sound backwards.

769
00:43:04.040 --> 00:43:07.400
But then I want you to actually take it back down.

770
00:43:09.000 --> 00:43:11.960
I want you to take it, literally, that door sign back down,

771
00:43:11.960 --> 00:43:15.880
and I want you to ask God what the name of you

772
00:43:15.880 --> 00:43:17.800
going forward is going to be,

773
00:43:17.800 --> 00:43:19.680
because I want you to write that name on

774
00:43:19.680 --> 00:43:20.840
whenever he shows it to you.

775
00:43:21.320 --> 00:43:23.040
It might not even be right away,

776
00:43:23.040 --> 00:43:25.920
but when God speaks that new name of who you are

777
00:43:25.920 --> 00:43:27.680
and who you're going to be,

778
00:43:27.680 --> 00:43:29.480
I want you to write that on the paper

779
00:43:29.480 --> 00:43:31.360
and hang that up on your door,

780
00:43:31.360 --> 00:43:34.520
because you need to see it often right now.

781
00:43:34.520 --> 00:43:35.640
And what that's going to do,

782
00:43:35.640 --> 00:43:36.760
even though it's an activation,

783
00:43:36.760 --> 00:43:38.600
you might find it to be very powerful

784
00:43:38.600 --> 00:43:43.000
when you remove Miss Independent from the door sign,

785
00:43:43.000 --> 00:43:44.320
because that's been your kind of title.

786
00:43:44.320 --> 00:43:46.040
It's been where you hang your hat.

787
00:43:47.560 --> 00:43:50.680
And God is saying, through the Holy Spirit tonight,

788
00:43:51.000 --> 00:43:56.000
it's time to let Miss Independent off duty.

789
00:43:58.040 --> 00:44:01.040
It's time to tell her she doesn't have to work here anymore.

790
00:44:01.920 --> 00:44:03.600
Okay, so I'm kind of paraphrasing.

791
00:44:03.600 --> 00:44:06.080
I want you guys to really visualize this.

792
00:44:06.080 --> 00:44:09.760
Yeah, like she needs, we won't kill her exactly,

793
00:44:09.760 --> 00:44:14.600
because there is some, we want to be interdependent.

794
00:44:14.600 --> 00:44:18.440
We want to depend on God, not be independent of him

795
00:44:18.440 --> 00:44:20.360
and not be so independent ourselves

796
00:44:21.120 --> 00:44:23.000
that we struggle to connect, right?

797
00:44:23.000 --> 00:44:25.240
But yes, she can be fired all day long.

798
00:44:26.120 --> 00:44:29.960
No, she can have a grave side too.

799
00:44:29.960 --> 00:44:31.680
I'm just teasing you all a little bit.

800
00:44:31.680 --> 00:44:34.160
All right, Lucy, go ahead.

801
00:44:37.360 --> 00:44:39.680
So actually, Bethany, I kind of struggled

802
00:44:39.680 --> 00:44:41.240
figuring out what my mask was.

803
00:44:41.240 --> 00:44:43.320
So I thought, oh, let me just pop in, just get your idea.

804
00:44:43.320 --> 00:44:44.840
So if we don't cover it or you're like,

805
00:44:44.840 --> 00:44:46.880
God will reveal it later, that's fine.

806
00:44:46.880 --> 00:44:47.840
We don't have to dawn it.

807
00:44:47.840 --> 00:44:50.360
But the thing that's been coming up for me all week

808
00:44:50.360 --> 00:44:52.840
is a fear of being rejected

809
00:44:52.840 --> 00:44:55.520
and like feeling that's so strong in my body.

810
00:44:56.880 --> 00:45:00.160
Some things that I did think about maybe could be masks is.

811
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.920
feeling doomed to fail. So maybe not fully trying or exerting or feeling doomed to fail. So like

812
00:45:05.920 --> 00:45:13.680
putting in way too much effort to try and mitigate that. Yeah. So those are some of the things and

813
00:45:13.680 --> 00:45:19.520
maybe a fear that I have to be joyful and I can't express that there's no space for negative

814
00:45:19.520 --> 00:45:26.080
emotions. Yeah. Okay. So thank you so much for sharing. First of all, thank you everyone else

815
00:45:26.080 --> 00:45:35.440
that shared too. So here's my thought when you said not fully trying. So to me, mask is that

816
00:45:35.440 --> 00:45:41.760
you're not successful, but you actually probably are. And what would it mean? Some of us are

817
00:45:41.760 --> 00:45:50.400
actually afraid of being successful. Some people are literally afraid to step in because there's

818
00:45:50.400 --> 00:45:56.400
a greater fear of failure. The more successful we have in our minds, we think the greater the fall.

819
00:45:57.360 --> 00:46:02.880
That's not always true. Failing can be failing forward. It can mean that a mistake doesn't have

820
00:46:02.880 --> 00:46:08.080
to mean we just stop or that we no longer can accomplish something. It can actually propel us

821
00:46:08.080 --> 00:46:13.360
forward if we let it. The mistakes I've made in the past, you all, even in dating and romantic

822
00:46:13.360 --> 00:46:20.160
relationships, they have led me here. I don't know if y'all have heard this song. I forget the name

823
00:46:20.160 --> 00:46:24.000
of the movie right now, but it came out a couple of years ago on Valentine's day with Jennifer

824
00:46:24.800 --> 00:46:31.040
Lopez. I'll have to look up the name of the song too, but one of her songs on the album,

825
00:46:31.040 --> 00:46:35.120
it's terrible. I don't remember, but I'm just drawing a blank. But that was the song I walked

826
00:46:35.120 --> 00:46:42.800
down the aisle to. And it was talking about all of the broken roads led us to each other.

827
00:46:44.480 --> 00:46:48.880
Essentially, that's kind of summing it up. It's so powerful. The way she sings

828
00:46:50.160 --> 00:46:57.120
the lyrics in that song. Do I think it would have been amazing to not have gone through divorce?

829
00:46:57.120 --> 00:47:03.920
Yes, absolutely. I do. But I am who I am today because of everything. Yes, on my way. Thank you.

830
00:47:05.840 --> 00:47:11.120
Because everything I've gone through has brought me here and God can use that stuff when I put it

831
00:47:11.120 --> 00:47:19.760
in his hands. So what does it mean to, if you struggle to not fully try and out of fear of being

832
00:47:19.760 --> 00:47:26.720
rejected, I would just continue to ask the Lord for clarity on what the mask actually is. But I

833
00:47:26.720 --> 00:47:34.880
think the mask is afraid of success. That's just what keeps coming up there for me. So we're going

834
00:47:34.880 --> 00:47:40.640
to start to shift because I want to do one more breakout session. It's already 847 and the time's

835
00:47:40.640 --> 00:47:48.400
going to fly you all. Yeah, it's a beautiful song. But I want you guys to be thinking, even if

836
00:47:48.400 --> 00:47:52.320
you didn't get to share out loud, I saw a couple people were putting their mask in the chat. Go

837
00:47:52.320 --> 00:47:57.520
ahead and put them in the chat. Feel free to share them with the group. There's no reason you can't

838
00:47:57.520 --> 00:48:05.840
still share with everyone. Yeah. And that does happen. I'm not sure again, who iPhone is,

839
00:48:05.840 --> 00:48:09.440
but I just want to kind of mention that she says my independence was out of necessity,

840
00:48:09.440 --> 00:48:15.040
but then became a super strength. Yeah. So some of us do feel like it came out of that necessity

841
00:48:15.040 --> 00:48:20.800
because we had to take care of everything. Right. But it's time to let God in because he's going to

842
00:48:20.800 --> 00:48:27.920
take care of things in the days ahead for you as you allow him to. OK. So I want to mention these

843
00:48:27.920 --> 00:48:34.880
couple of things. Some of us pretend so long that we forget these three things. We forget who we

844
00:48:34.880 --> 00:48:44.400
really are. We forget how we really feel. And we forget the things that we really want.

845
00:48:46.560 --> 00:48:51.200
I'm going to read those again for you. Sometimes we pretend so long that we forget

846
00:48:51.920 --> 00:48:58.560
who we really are, how we really feel and the things we really want.

847
00:49:00.960 --> 00:49:04.640
So I want to ask you guys a question. I want you to think about this this week. You don't

848
00:49:04.640 --> 00:49:09.520
have to answer it now, but make a note somewhere. I want you guys to pray and ask the Lord to show

849
00:49:09.520 --> 00:49:16.160
you this. What did your little girl you and you can ask your grown up version of yourself, too.

850
00:49:16.880 --> 00:49:22.000
And this is going to this is new to some of you all understand when I say things like ask Jesus

851
00:49:22.000 --> 00:49:27.680
to show up to the little girl version of you and tell her what he thinks about that situation.

852
00:49:27.680 --> 00:49:33.920
So maybe you guys have never connected with the little girl in you that was broken and didn't

853
00:49:33.920 --> 00:49:39.200
heal. And so one of the things I talked about earlier today, when you guys first started this

854
00:49:39.200 --> 00:49:42.480
journey, one of the things we talked about is convergence. Well, one of the things that

855
00:49:42.480 --> 00:49:49.520
happens in convergence is when the little girl us merges with the grown up version of us. And

856
00:49:49.520 --> 00:49:53.840
how can that happen while healing and we open, open, open, and then we start to merge back

857
00:49:53.840 --> 00:49:59.360
together. Brokenness, when we go through trauma, that's what creates these separate versions of us.

858
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.600
And the little girl gets separated

859
00:50:01.600 --> 00:50:04.360
from the version of us that continues to grow up.

860
00:50:04.360 --> 00:50:06.220
And if this little girl never heals,

861
00:50:06.220 --> 00:50:08.760
well, that's still inside of there.

862
00:50:08.760 --> 00:50:11.000
The broken little girl is still inside.

863
00:50:11.000 --> 00:50:12.840
And so what you're doing in this process

864
00:50:12.840 --> 00:50:14.000
is you're healing her,

865
00:50:14.000 --> 00:50:15.760
but you're also healing the other versions

866
00:50:15.760 --> 00:50:18.240
along the way that also got hurt.

867
00:50:18.240 --> 00:50:19.540
That's what's happening.

868
00:50:19.540 --> 00:50:23.160
And then it's all merging you together

869
00:50:23.160 --> 00:50:26.760
so that you can actually know in the beginning

870
00:50:26.800 --> 00:50:30.120
who did God create you to be?

871
00:50:30.120 --> 00:50:31.320
What were things you wanted?

872
00:50:31.320 --> 00:50:34.280
So I wanna encourage you to ask that little girl,

873
00:50:35.400 --> 00:50:37.680
what were some of the things that she liked

874
00:50:38.800 --> 00:50:42.280
that got stolen or squashed by other people?

875
00:50:45.740 --> 00:50:48.420
What I mean by that is sometimes people spoke words

876
00:50:48.420 --> 00:50:50.320
to some of you when you were little

877
00:50:50.320 --> 00:50:54.560
and they just really spoke against dreams or silly.

878
00:50:54.560 --> 00:50:58.680
Some of you guys struggle to be fun now

879
00:50:58.680 --> 00:51:01.180
because you weren't allowed to be silly as a kid.

880
00:51:02.280 --> 00:51:06.040
Kids are silly, but some of us were told,

881
00:51:06.040 --> 00:51:08.200
stop that, sit down.

882
00:51:08.200 --> 00:51:10.560
You know, we're never allowed to fidget.

883
00:51:10.560 --> 00:51:12.560
We're not allowed, you know, all these things.

884
00:51:12.560 --> 00:51:14.480
And I, again, I'm kind of chuckling about it,

885
00:51:14.480 --> 00:51:17.600
but these are real legit things that people struggle with.

886
00:51:17.600 --> 00:51:20.360
And they're still bound in their life today as a grownup

887
00:51:20.360 --> 00:51:24.320
because they were not allowed to sing and dance and play.

888
00:51:24.960 --> 00:51:26.920
And whatever that looks like for you,

889
00:51:26.920 --> 00:51:28.520
some of you, maybe that wasn't your thing.

890
00:51:28.520 --> 00:51:30.880
Maybe you wanted to climb a tree and you weren't allowed

891
00:51:30.880 --> 00:51:33.320
because you're a girl and girls don't climb trees.

892
00:51:33.320 --> 00:51:35.880
I don't know, I'm just trying to kind of stoke that

893
00:51:35.880 --> 00:51:38.600
for you all, because it's different for everybody.

894
00:51:39.980 --> 00:51:41.840
Yeah, being made fun of, anything.

895
00:51:41.840 --> 00:51:44.320
Anything where the enemy came in through the words

896
00:51:44.320 --> 00:51:46.200
or the behaviors of other people,

897
00:51:46.200 --> 00:51:49.640
and he tried to squash you and push you down

898
00:51:49.640 --> 00:51:50.840
and oppress you in some way.

899
00:51:50.840 --> 00:51:51.880
That's what I'm talking about.

900
00:51:51.920 --> 00:51:55.000
So that little girl, what did she like to do?

901
00:51:55.000 --> 00:51:58.040
Because in the days and weeks ahead,

902
00:51:58.040 --> 00:52:01.480
also, y'all, when you get to week five, don't check out.

903
00:52:02.400 --> 00:52:04.040
I have people that are going from week four,

904
00:52:04.040 --> 00:52:05.440
trying to go into phase two.

905
00:52:05.440 --> 00:52:09.040
Week five is like the culmination of everything.

906
00:52:09.040 --> 00:52:12.440
It's when you start to figure out who you really are

907
00:52:12.440 --> 00:52:14.840
after you've done all this hard work.

908
00:52:14.840 --> 00:52:16.680
It's so important.

909
00:52:16.680 --> 00:52:18.080
The stuff I'm talking about tonight,

910
00:52:18.080 --> 00:52:21.320
some of you guys haven't tapped into your little girl

911
00:52:21.320 --> 00:52:24.920
or your dreams or God's dreams for you in ages.

912
00:52:25.920 --> 00:52:28.440
I promise you, if you will do that,

913
00:52:28.440 --> 00:52:31.560
you are going to accelerate to find your spirit mate.

914
00:52:31.560 --> 00:52:34.200
If you will allow yourself to really,

915
00:52:34.200 --> 00:52:36.240
like, who do I wanna be?

916
00:52:36.240 --> 00:52:38.280
God, who did you create me to be?

917
00:52:38.280 --> 00:52:40.120
What are some things I can do?

918
00:52:40.120 --> 00:52:43.120
So tonight, what I'm doing is I'm activating you

919
00:52:43.120 --> 00:52:46.800
to start letting the little girl out to play.

920
00:52:46.800 --> 00:52:48.640
So one of the ways this came up,

921
00:52:49.360 --> 00:52:52.120
like I thought of it after the live session earlier today,

922
00:52:52.120 --> 00:52:53.880
where I talked about the little girl,

923
00:52:53.880 --> 00:52:56.280
but I'm expanding it tonight.

924
00:52:56.280 --> 00:52:59.240
God gave me a word for someone earlier today.

925
00:53:00.440 --> 00:53:02.560
And I'm just, this is my late brain.

926
00:53:02.560 --> 00:53:04.600
I'm drawing a blank on who I was writing to.

927
00:53:04.600 --> 00:53:07.680
But as I was writing my response to her,

928
00:53:07.680 --> 00:53:11.280
I saw this little girl and she was giggling

929
00:53:11.280 --> 00:53:12.920
and she was blowing bubbles.

930
00:53:14.040 --> 00:53:16.480
And I just, I couldn't get rid of it out of my spirit.

931
00:53:16.520 --> 00:53:17.760
And so I said to her,

932
00:53:17.760 --> 00:53:20.520
I think you're supposed to blow bubbles this week.

933
00:53:20.520 --> 00:53:23.000
I feel like there's something on this for you,

934
00:53:23.000 --> 00:53:24.640
having fun and blowing bubbles.

935
00:53:24.640 --> 00:53:26.520
So anyway, she's gonna do that.

936
00:53:26.520 --> 00:53:27.920
But as soon as she responded and said,

937
00:53:27.920 --> 00:53:29.040
I'm gonna, I love this.

938
00:53:29.040 --> 00:53:30.560
I'm gonna do this with my nephews.

939
00:53:30.560 --> 00:53:33.680
I heard the Holy Spirit say, you need to tell everyone.

940
00:53:33.680 --> 00:53:35.840
You don't all gotta blow bubbles this week.

941
00:53:36.920 --> 00:53:38.240
Yeah, I feel the Holy Spirit on this.

942
00:53:38.240 --> 00:53:41.040
I see some of you guys even getting emotional with this.

943
00:53:42.720 --> 00:53:45.000
Ah, yeah, just breathe that in a little bit.

944
00:53:45.000 --> 00:53:47.160
Some of you guys really need to let the Holy Spirit

945
00:53:47.160 --> 00:53:48.560
do what he's doing right now.

946
00:53:48.560 --> 00:53:51.320
Some of you guys need to like ask the Holy Spirit,

947
00:53:51.320 --> 00:53:56.320
what do I need to do to have fun and play

948
00:53:57.320 --> 00:53:59.720
and be a little, like be a little girl?

949
00:53:59.720 --> 00:54:02.320
Obviously within reason, some of you are older,

950
00:54:02.320 --> 00:54:03.880
there's certain things you won't be able to do,

951
00:54:03.880 --> 00:54:05.920
but like, you know, what is it?

952
00:54:05.920 --> 00:54:09.520
What is that simple, like innocent little thing

953
00:54:09.520 --> 00:54:13.160
that you could do to start to activate that reawakening

954
00:54:13.160 --> 00:54:15.720
and not worrying about what anybody thinks

955
00:54:15.720 --> 00:54:19.120
or what they, I, when Jackie did this with our group

956
00:54:19.120 --> 00:54:24.120
years ago, I felt led to go to a park and just swing.

957
00:54:24.600 --> 00:54:26.520
I used to love to swing.

958
00:54:26.520 --> 00:54:29.640
I used to love to swing with my friends and all that.

959
00:54:29.640 --> 00:54:31.400
So I started doing that and I just,

960
00:54:31.400 --> 00:54:33.040
anything that the Lord brought to mind,

961
00:54:33.040 --> 00:54:34.680
I just started doing it.

962
00:54:34.680 --> 00:54:36.360
And so whatever that looks like for you.

963
00:54:36.360 --> 00:54:37.600
And then what I want you guys to do,

964
00:54:37.600 --> 00:54:39.640
I want you to post in the group about it

965
00:54:39.640 --> 00:54:41.400
because we're talking about a lot of hard work

966
00:54:41.400 --> 00:54:42.520
and a lot of hard stuff.

967
00:54:42.960 --> 00:54:44.680
And I want you guys to have some fun this week too,

968
00:54:44.680 --> 00:54:47.080
because this week you're going to be doing forgiveness.

969
00:54:47.080 --> 00:54:48.720
If you're in week four, I forget,

970
00:54:48.720 --> 00:54:50.960
some of y'all are in week one, I'm sorry.

971
00:54:50.960 --> 00:54:52.680
You're all in different places,

972
00:54:52.680 --> 00:54:55.100
but either way, hard work can be hard.

973
00:54:55.100 --> 00:54:56.400
So let's have a little bit of fun.

974
00:54:56.400 --> 00:54:58.440
Don't get distracted from your hard work,

975
00:54:58.440 --> 00:55:00.240
but I want you to have some fun too.

976
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:07.200
The Holy Spirit's been telling me all day, this is so important to some of yours, like you all walking into freedom.

977
00:55:07.200 --> 00:55:12.800
Okay. All right. I'm going to move on to the next thing. Here is where we're going next.

978
00:55:12.800 --> 00:55:17.600
Forgiveness. Last week, we talked about confession and repentance.

979
00:55:17.600 --> 00:55:23.720
That is what is going to help us come out of hiding you all. Forgiveness is what's going to bring closure.

980
00:55:23.720 --> 00:55:30.080
And here's the struggle that a lot of us have. When we have the same thing coming up over and over and over again,

981
00:55:30.080 --> 00:55:36.040
it's like, well, wait a minute. If forgiveness brings closure, why is this thing coming up again?

982
00:55:36.040 --> 00:55:42.040
If you all remember, one of the things I said to you is that forgiveness is in layers. It happens in layers.

983
00:55:42.040 --> 00:55:49.720
So if you have already done a lot of work in one area, but you're in here and the Holy Spirit brings it up to you again,

984
00:55:49.720 --> 00:55:55.840
it's probably because he wants you to take a peek at something that you, maybe you saw this whole part of it,

985
00:55:55.840 --> 00:56:00.360
but now he's wanting to show you something over here that's connected to that same thing.

986
00:56:00.360 --> 00:56:06.680
And just be open. Doesn't mean you have to go all the way back into it, but God might want to show you something else.

987
00:56:06.680 --> 00:56:12.840
Unforgiveness is like slowly drinking poison more and more over time.

988
00:56:12.840 --> 00:56:17.480
So when we choose to like stay in unforgiveness and bitterness and resentment,

989
00:56:17.480 --> 00:56:24.240
it actually can be like we're just a little bit every day, just drinking a little bit of poison, a little bit of poison.

990
00:56:24.240 --> 00:56:30.520
And so tonight I want to encourage you all to break some of these tethers. A tether, I talk to people a lot.

991
00:56:30.520 --> 00:56:36.360
This is a way that I can help you visualize it. Did anybody ever have the tether ball game on your playground?

992
00:56:36.360 --> 00:56:42.360
Anyone know what tether ball is? It's this pole that has a rope connected to it and the rope has a ball connected to it.

993
00:56:42.360 --> 00:56:45.800
And you just, the kids would sit and, you know, hit the tether ball back and forth.

994
00:56:45.800 --> 00:56:52.920
It's kind of funny if you think about it, but how does the ball come off that pole?

995
00:56:52.920 --> 00:56:58.520
It comes unlocked, you undo it, and then it's no longer tethered. I love tether ball too.

996
00:57:00.840 --> 00:57:09.480
So unforgiveness, when we choose to forgive, we are untethering. We're severing that connection.

997
00:57:09.480 --> 00:57:15.080
We're releasing them and we're releasing ourselves. So let's think about the flip side of this.

998
00:57:15.080 --> 00:57:22.360
If you choose to walk in unforgiveness, guess what, y'all? You're tethering yourself to those people.

999
00:57:24.120 --> 00:57:30.920
We don't like to think about that, but that's the truth. We are tethered to them until we release them and let them go.

1000
00:57:32.280 --> 00:57:36.520
We don't want to get, we don't want to stay stuck to those people that hurt us and did things that

1001
00:57:36.520 --> 00:57:41.480
were mean and all that. So let's forgive so that we can fully move forward. I'm going to give you

1002
00:57:41.480 --> 00:57:49.080
some scriptures after I say one more thing. Forgiveness is not a feeling, it is a choice.

1003
00:57:49.080 --> 00:57:53.480
Yes, Jackie's soul tie video is so good. It talks about tethering in there too. So if you guys

1004
00:57:53.480 --> 00:57:58.440
haven't seen that yet, that's going to be really powerful for you. Forgiveness is not a feeling,

1005
00:57:58.440 --> 00:58:04.280
it's a choice. You guys, Ephesians 4.32 says, forgive one another just as God forgave you

1006
00:58:04.280 --> 00:58:12.040
because of what Christ has done. Colossians 3.13, remember the Lord forgave you, so you must also

1007
00:58:12.040 --> 00:58:17.880
forgive others. When you guys work on the forgiveness prayer, even if you're not in week

1008
00:58:17.880 --> 00:58:21.960
four, if you go into the downloads area, I'm not going to answer a bunch of tech questions right

1009
00:58:21.960 --> 00:58:27.880
now, but I'm just telling you where it's at. In your portal, in start here, the way at the beginning,

1010
00:58:27.880 --> 00:58:32.920
there's an area that says downloads. If you go in there, that forgiveness prayer sheet is in there.

1011
00:58:32.920 --> 00:58:38.680
So anybody in any single week can get that forgiveness prayer. When you guys work on

1012
00:58:38.680 --> 00:58:45.080
these forgiveness prayers, this is the thing you want to forgive all the characters, all the

1013
00:58:45.080 --> 00:58:52.600
characters that played a role. So what does that mean? That means like in my story, for example,

1014
00:58:52.600 --> 00:58:59.560
my brothers were my abusers. My sister also abused me. And so the people that played a role

1015
00:58:59.560 --> 00:59:05.160
were my two brothers and my sister. But then also there were other people that played a role that I

1016
00:59:05.160 --> 00:59:10.360
found out later, years later. So I had to end up going and forgiving them as well. Does that make

1017
00:59:10.360 --> 00:59:19.320
sense? Some of you all need to forgive yourselves. Legit, you want to know why you can't move forward?

1018
00:59:19.320 --> 00:59:26.200
It's because you are holding yourself hostage. You are freeing everybody else, but you're not

1019
00:59:26.200 --> 00:59:31.960
letting yourself go free. And the enemy is tricking you into thinking that you don't deserve

1020
00:59:31.960 --> 00:59:38.600
to be free because your sin is so terrible, like it can't be forgiven or something. But God forgives

1021
00:59:38.600 --> 00:59:46.840
all sin, all sin. He doesn't look at sin. One sin is worse than the other sin. It's just sin, you all.

1022
00:59:47.800 --> 00:59:54.200
It's just sin to him. So God isn't saying, you know, I'm just going to, I'll pick myself. God

1023
00:59:54.200 --> 00:59:59.880
isn't saying, Bethany, you know, what you've done is just unforgivable because you didn't.

1024
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:08.920
this thing. He's saying, I forgive your sins as far as the East is from the West. So why

1025
01:00:08.920 --> 01:00:17.240
can't we forgive ourselves? Okay. The last, I don't have the scripture reference for you,

1026
01:00:17.240 --> 01:00:22.000
but this came to me today to love your neighbors. You love yourself. So here's the key. You

1027
01:00:22.000 --> 01:00:28.640
got to first love yourself. So that means you got to come out of alignment with self-hatred.

1028
01:00:28.640 --> 01:00:33.320
Some of you, some of you all, it's you struggle to love or like yourself because you actually

1029
01:00:33.320 --> 01:00:39.520
internally hate yourself. And I know that's such a strong word and people don't like to

1030
01:00:39.520 --> 01:00:44.120
hear it or even think that they would, that that's how they feel about themselves. But

1031
01:00:44.120 --> 01:00:49.120
some of you have some of that stuff deep down in, and that will show up in a lot of self

1032
01:00:49.120 --> 01:00:54.160
deprecating thoughts. If you guys have a lot of negative thoughts about yourself, it could

1033
01:00:54.160 --> 01:00:58.120
be your body. It could be your spirit. It could be you're never good in any like that

1034
01:00:58.120 --> 01:01:06.280
self-deprecation. Okay. That is often rooted in self-hatred and self loathing. And that

1035
01:01:06.280 --> 01:01:12.960
happened because at some point you were broken, something happened and you started not liking

1036
01:01:12.960 --> 01:01:21.120
yourself. For me, I had self-hatred because I was abused and I thought I was dirty. That

1037
01:01:21.120 --> 01:01:27.480
wasn't truth. But that's what I believed at that time until God came into my story

1038
01:01:27.480 --> 01:01:33.360
and told me something different. Now he takes our, our crimson red that, that, okay, let

1039
01:01:33.360 --> 01:01:37.520
me also say this. Thank you, Lord. When we are abused by someone else, especially under

1040
01:01:37.520 --> 01:01:41.920
the age of accountability, a, if you're a kid, you all, you don't need to ask for forgiveness

1041
01:01:41.920 --> 01:01:47.600
for things people did to you. Number one, okay. We're not responsible for abuse that

1042
01:01:47.600 --> 01:01:52.080
is done to us. Same thing for older, older, above 18. If you have been abused, you don't

1043
01:01:52.080 --> 01:01:56.880
have to apologize for that. You don't have to seek forgiveness for that. The difference

1044
01:01:56.880 --> 01:02:01.880
is like for me, I was abused in that last relationship. He cheated on me multiple times.

1045
01:02:01.880 --> 01:02:07.560
It was terrible, but here's where I could take responsibility. I, I didn't listen to

1046
01:02:07.560 --> 01:02:12.440
the Holy spirit when he was showing me red flags and that's what I can take responsibility

1047
01:02:12.440 --> 01:02:17.560
for. And that's what I needed to forgive myself for because I, I wasted in my mind

1048
01:02:17.560 --> 01:02:25.640
six years, but see God redeems all of that. You all, I don't feel like I lost six years

1049
01:02:25.640 --> 01:02:34.960
anymore because I'm living my best life right now. And those years don't even, I mean, it

1050
01:02:34.960 --> 01:02:39.840
just doesn't even matter anymore. Things that used to matter like that. Don't God can heal

1051
01:02:39.840 --> 01:02:44.880
and God can restore and God redeems that time. Okay. All right. I'm going to send you

1052
01:02:44.880 --> 01:02:53.520
into breakouts here. Here's your question. Who do you need to forgive tonight and why?

1053
01:02:53.520 --> 01:03:01.520
Who do you need to forgive tonight and why? Okay. Yes. When the past is gone, you don't

1054
01:03:01.520 --> 01:03:06.480
have to keep rehashing that anymore. I'm going to recreate these rooms cause we had some

1055
01:03:06.640 --> 01:03:12.800
people join us. We're at nine Oh three. I'm going to bump us down to eight minutes. Y'all

1056
01:03:12.800 --> 01:03:20.320
will have to share kind of quick. All right, here we go. Praying for you all. Let me see

1057
01:03:20.320 --> 01:03:23.600
about my ladies over here. Click to join. I'm going to be watching to make sure y'all

1058
01:03:23.600 --> 01:03:30.160
get in there. All right, ladies, I'm going to try to catch up with you on Facebook here

1059
01:03:30.240 --> 01:03:33.120
in a second. I just got to make sure these ladies get in the breakouts.

1060
01:03:35.360 --> 01:03:39.840
Oh, Jane, I'm glad that minister to you. I'm not sure which part, but I'm glad.

1061
01:03:40.800 --> 01:03:43.600
All right. Let's see here. Make sure y'all click to join.

1062
01:03:44.720 --> 01:03:49.680
Keep, keep clicking to join some. I think maybe some of our connections are a little weak.

1063
01:03:50.480 --> 01:03:53.920
All right. You guys should have, Oh, here we go. Robin.

1064
01:03:59.040 --> 01:04:16.640
Okay. She's in a room. Sorry. Y'all just need to make sure these people are got people with them.

1065
01:04:17.600 --> 01:04:23.600
All right. You guys should have a thing there. If you want to click to join,

1066
01:04:23.600 --> 01:04:26.000
if not, that's fine. You can stay here. That's totally cool.

1067
01:04:27.840 --> 01:04:31.600
All right. Okay. So let's catch up with Facebook here for a minute.

1068
01:04:34.000 --> 01:04:41.600
Let's see. Sally says, I identify with a romantic comment. I feel like I don't know how to do that

1069
01:04:41.600 --> 01:04:47.280
anymore, or even just have fun. So this is where, again, just invite the Holy spirit into this

1070
01:04:47.280 --> 01:04:52.880
process with you and, um, renewing you even while you sleep. That's kind of what's coming up in my

1071
01:04:52.880 --> 01:04:58.080
spirit, just to start thanking God for giving you dreams while you sleep, but like fun things to go

1072
01:04:58.080 --> 01:04:59.680
do. Um,

1073
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.040
You know, what are some things that would awaken the little girl in you?

1074
01:05:04.040 --> 01:05:08.040
You know, you might start seeing things when you're out and about just by asking, asking

1075
01:05:08.040 --> 01:05:09.600
God to do that.

1076
01:05:09.600 --> 01:05:14.600
Let's see, Don says, yes, that's one of my biggest fears, fear of success and failure,

1077
01:05:14.600 --> 01:05:15.600
both equally.

1078
01:05:15.600 --> 01:05:17.200
And I'm a perfectionist as well.

1079
01:05:17.200 --> 01:05:21.920
Yeah, we talked about perfectionism a lot earlier in the earlier session.

1080
01:05:21.920 --> 01:05:28.920
One of the things I shared was that, you know, where did that perfectionism start?

1081
01:05:28.920 --> 01:05:37.600
For me, it started because there was a lot of pressure on me as a kid.

1082
01:05:37.600 --> 01:05:39.680
There were four of us kids.

1083
01:05:39.680 --> 01:05:41.860
My oldest brother got really great grades.

1084
01:05:41.860 --> 01:05:46.160
My two middle siblings, they had C's and D's, but they never really got in trouble a whole

1085
01:05:46.160 --> 01:05:47.160
lot for him.

1086
01:05:47.160 --> 01:05:50.620
But I, like, if I had a B, my mom got on to me.

1087
01:05:50.620 --> 01:05:55.920
And then other things that kind of like I saw, like how the enemy would put things together.

1088
01:05:55.920 --> 01:06:01.960
My brother, my middle brother, he wouldn't do his chores.

1089
01:06:01.960 --> 01:06:05.400
When my mom came home, I got in trouble if the chores weren't done.

1090
01:06:05.400 --> 01:06:08.880
Like even if they were my, well, my sister did too, we both did.

1091
01:06:08.880 --> 01:06:11.440
But even if they weren't our chores, we got in trouble for them.

1092
01:06:11.440 --> 01:06:14.100
And that you might think, well, what does that have to do with a perfectionist?

1093
01:06:14.100 --> 01:06:19.120
So what that taught me at a, at a young age, not only did I have to take on my load, but

1094
01:06:19.120 --> 01:06:22.880
I had to take on their load too, and I had to do it perfectly.

1095
01:06:22.880 --> 01:06:29.360
And there really wasn't room for not getting it done or struggling or whatever.

1096
01:06:29.360 --> 01:06:31.560
Okay.

1097
01:06:31.560 --> 01:06:36.200
So I had to look at what was the root of that perfectionism in me.

1098
01:06:36.200 --> 01:06:39.040
And there were other things, but those were two of the things that I shared earlier.

1099
01:06:39.040 --> 01:06:44.740
And that really resonated for me when I was putting this content together tonight.

1100
01:06:44.740 --> 01:06:50.800
And so I had to lean out of trying to be perfect, again, taking that mask off because I'm not

1101
01:06:50.800 --> 01:06:52.640
perfect.

1102
01:06:53.400 --> 01:06:58.480
And I don't always have it together, but praise God, the root of when did that start so that

1103
01:06:58.480 --> 01:07:01.840
I could ask for healing in that area.

1104
01:07:01.840 --> 01:07:06.640
And then that grace internally, then that peace starts to come so that I don't have

1105
01:07:06.640 --> 01:07:09.840
to feel like I have to be something that I'm not.

1106
01:07:09.840 --> 01:07:10.840
Okay.

1107
01:07:10.840 --> 01:07:12.880
So hopefully that'll, that'll help you too.

1108
01:07:12.880 --> 01:07:16.360
Raquel, if you don't know what your mask is yet, that's okay.

1109
01:07:16.360 --> 01:07:20.800
Just ask the Lord to show you and he will.

1110
01:07:20.800 --> 01:07:24.560
Jane says, yes, being successful is something I was afraid of, but then I was listening

1111
01:07:24.560 --> 01:07:31.560
to these lives and I'm like, yes, that was on my Jesus cares board was my finances.

1112
01:07:31.560 --> 01:07:33.080
And yes, this weekend, some big doors open.

1113
01:07:33.080 --> 01:07:34.080
I'm like, what?

1114
01:07:34.080 --> 01:07:35.360
This is a God thing.

1115
01:07:35.360 --> 01:07:36.360
Yeah.

1116
01:07:36.360 --> 01:07:37.440
That being successful is not wrong.

1117
01:07:37.440 --> 01:07:39.080
It's totally a good thing.

1118
01:07:39.080 --> 01:07:40.080
Don't live in poverty life.

1119
01:07:40.080 --> 01:07:41.080
Yes, yes, yes, yes.

1120
01:07:41.080 --> 01:07:44.640
Raquel says having fun is easy for her.

1121
01:07:44.640 --> 01:07:46.880
Y'all y'all get some tips from Raquel.

1122
01:07:46.880 --> 01:07:48.360
All right.

1123
01:07:48.360 --> 01:07:51.400
So when, when I was a child, my dreams were unrealistic.

1124
01:07:51.400 --> 01:07:56.680
I think sometimes all of us as kids have unrealistic dreams, but then there's also dreams that

1125
01:07:56.680 --> 01:08:01.840
could have been realized if someone did not tell us it wasn't possible.

1126
01:08:01.840 --> 01:08:02.920
There's this astronaut movie.

1127
01:08:02.920 --> 01:08:05.160
I wish again, I could remember what it's called.

1128
01:08:05.160 --> 01:08:09.960
It came out a few months back on, on Netflix, but it's a true story.

1129
01:08:09.960 --> 01:08:13.720
I think he was one of the first Mexican astronauts.

1130
01:08:13.720 --> 01:08:18.120
I think, I hope I didn't say that wrong, his ethnicity wrong, but I'm pretty sure

1131
01:08:18.880 --> 01:08:19.880
he was.

1132
01:08:19.880 --> 01:08:23.439
And, um, he had a lot of people that told him he couldn't do it, but he determined in

1133
01:08:23.439 --> 01:08:26.080
his heart that he was going to do that.

1134
01:08:26.080 --> 01:08:31.040
And he worked and he worked and he put in a lot of hard, hard work to make it there.

1135
01:08:31.040 --> 01:08:32.040
All right.

1136
01:08:32.040 --> 01:08:33.040
I'm going to keep reading.

1137
01:08:33.040 --> 01:08:40.120
Karen says, I don't feel we can forgive others, but God can help us with this.

1138
01:08:40.120 --> 01:08:42.680
Forgiveness doesn't mean you forget, but we are to forgive us.

1139
01:08:42.680 --> 01:08:43.680
Christ forgives us.

1140
01:08:43.680 --> 01:08:48.800
Um, yes, there are times where we're going to struggle to forgive people and we need

1141
01:08:48.800 --> 01:08:52.200
to ask God to give us the courage and give us the enablement.

1142
01:08:52.200 --> 01:08:54.760
Um, but it still is a choice.

1143
01:08:54.760 --> 01:08:56.200
The scripture tells us that.

1144
01:08:56.200 --> 01:09:01.000
So we have to choose forgiveness.

1145
01:09:01.000 --> 01:09:03.660
And then sometimes the feelings will follow.

1146
01:09:03.660 --> 01:09:07.479
And sometimes it's a really long time before those feelings follow, but we still make a

1147
01:09:07.479 --> 01:09:08.920
choice to forgive.

1148
01:09:08.920 --> 01:09:09.920
Okay.

1149
01:09:09.920 --> 01:09:14.160
Emily says, I am having trouble forgiving myself for not being home for my dog when

1150
01:09:14.160 --> 01:09:18.359
something happened and he ended up having heart failure all while I was away.

1151
01:09:18.359 --> 01:09:19.359
I couldn't save him.

1152
01:09:19.359 --> 01:09:21.399
Oh, my heart goes out to you, Emily.

1153
01:09:21.399 --> 01:09:22.880
I love dogs.

1154
01:09:22.880 --> 01:09:24.680
That would be so heartbreaking.

1155
01:09:24.680 --> 01:09:28.520
Um, but here's the thing.

1156
01:09:28.520 --> 01:09:30.680
It's okay for you to live your life.

1157
01:09:30.680 --> 01:09:33.479
You didn't know that was going to happen to your dog.

1158
01:09:33.479 --> 01:09:37.319
And so pray that God would just come in and heal that area.

1159
01:09:37.720 --> 01:09:39.200
Um, oh, come on.

1160
01:09:39.200 --> 01:09:40.200
You can come back.

1161
01:09:40.200 --> 01:09:47.479
I just saw you, um, and really that you would release yourself.

1162
01:09:47.479 --> 01:09:54.840
And I'm, I'm just even hearing the Lord say, tell her that her dog forgives her.

1163
01:09:54.840 --> 01:09:56.400
Your doggie's not mad at you.

1164
01:09:56.400 --> 01:09:58.160
He knew you loved him or her.

1165
01:09:58.160 --> 01:09:59.840
I don't know if it was a girl or boy.

1166
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.440
But your, your animal, I'm sure knew that you loved them.

1167
01:10:05.440 --> 01:10:06.720
And so just be at peace.

1168
01:10:06.720 --> 01:10:11.920
I know that's not easy, but ask the Lord to come into that area as well.

1169
01:10:11.920 --> 01:10:16.080
Karen also says, I never felt like I like myself at all, and was always trying to prove

1170
01:10:16.080 --> 01:10:20.200
to my mom who I was, but she never accepted anything I did as good.

1171
01:10:20.200 --> 01:10:24.120
So I would encourage you, Karen, to really lean into that with the Holy Spirit.

1172
01:10:24.120 --> 01:10:28.840
Like what are the areas that God wants to come in and heal those wounds with your mom

1173
01:10:28.880 --> 01:10:31.560
and speak a word of truth over you?

1174
01:10:31.560 --> 01:10:36.240
Because, you know, we can easily carry that into relationships with other women.

1175
01:10:36.240 --> 01:10:38.960
We can carry that into any romantic relationship.

1176
01:10:38.960 --> 01:10:44.040
Like even though it was our mom, like if those areas aren't healed, you know, we want we

1177
01:10:44.040 --> 01:10:45.960
don't want to take that baggage in with us.

1178
01:10:45.960 --> 01:10:48.960
So always trying to prove to my mom.

1179
01:10:48.960 --> 01:10:54.000
So do you ever struggle now in your life today trying to prove yourself to people?

1180
01:10:54.000 --> 01:10:55.800
Is that something you tend to struggle with?

1181
01:10:55.840 --> 01:10:58.400
I would love to hear you share more on that.

1182
01:10:59.800 --> 01:11:01.000
Yes, Charlotte, thank you.

1183
01:11:01.000 --> 01:11:02.120
It was a million miles away.

1184
01:11:02.120 --> 01:11:03.480
Yeah, I love that movie.

1185
01:11:03.800 --> 01:11:04.640
It's so good.

1186
01:11:06.080 --> 01:11:09.840
Cassandra says some of our ladies are starting to come back, I think maybe.

1187
01:11:11.760 --> 01:11:12.840
We have a little bit more time.

1188
01:11:13.880 --> 01:11:18.360
I need to forgive myself, I blame myself for a lot of the things I went through, if I was

1189
01:11:18.360 --> 01:11:21.400
healthy at the time, these things would have been avoided.

1190
01:11:22.920 --> 01:11:25.080
I am going to answer you here, Cassandra, on this.

1191
01:11:25.080 --> 01:11:25.800
Hold on one second.

1192
01:11:25.800 --> 01:11:27.040
I just got to let them back in.

1193
01:11:29.680 --> 01:11:33.240
I am not going to have time probably to read the rest of this right now, but right on that

1194
01:11:33.240 --> 01:11:36.000
one, I think this is important for some of the people that are even coming back to hear

1195
01:11:36.000 --> 01:11:38.880
Cassandra shared in the in the Facebook thread.

1196
01:11:39.280 --> 01:11:40.760
I need to forgive myself.

1197
01:11:40.760 --> 01:11:43.160
I blame myself for a lot of the things I went through.

1198
01:11:43.160 --> 01:11:46.320
If I was healthy at the time, these things would have been avoided.

1199
01:11:46.600 --> 01:11:48.000
Here's the truth, you all.

1200
01:11:48.560 --> 01:11:54.200
We don't know what we don't know until we know it.

1201
01:11:54.560 --> 01:11:59.280
So some of us are holding ourselves hostage and we're not forgiving ourselves because of

1202
01:11:59.280 --> 01:12:01.160
something we did not know.

1203
01:12:01.840 --> 01:12:03.280
And yes, sometimes.

1204
01:12:03.280 --> 01:12:03.800
Yes.

1205
01:12:03.800 --> 01:12:06.480
OK, this is how I broke it down for you earlier.

1206
01:12:06.480 --> 01:12:08.240
I'm so thankful that the Lord just reminded me.

1207
01:12:08.840 --> 01:12:13.520
I knew that I was seeing red flags and I did go past those.

1208
01:12:13.520 --> 01:12:14.680
But here's the thing.

1209
01:12:16.640 --> 01:12:22.000
What was not healed in my heart and the things that I didn't learn as a kid, so I never

1210
01:12:22.000 --> 01:12:23.880
saw a model of a healthy relationship.

1211
01:12:24.640 --> 01:12:32.240
Like ever. And so going into that relationship after a marriage that was already really

1212
01:12:32.240 --> 01:12:36.360
broken and there was a lot of abuse there, I had to like literally kind of flee the home.

1213
01:12:37.000 --> 01:12:39.400
And then I had this this next relationship.

1214
01:12:39.400 --> 01:12:46.640
Right. So I never really matured in the areas and got healing in the abuse and the things

1215
01:12:46.640 --> 01:12:50.280
that I actually fled my my home growing up.

1216
01:12:50.720 --> 01:12:57.920
And so. I didn't know how to stop going past the red flags, you know, like I didn't

1217
01:12:57.920 --> 01:13:00.880
because I was broken on the inside.

1218
01:13:01.120 --> 01:13:07.400
And so when that stuff healed, y'all better believe when I was dating this last time

1219
01:13:07.400 --> 01:13:09.640
around, I showed up so different.

1220
01:13:09.960 --> 01:13:11.320
I showed up so different.

1221
01:13:11.640 --> 01:13:17.280
And, you know, I saw green flags and people and there were times I saw people yellow

1222
01:13:17.280 --> 01:13:21.520
flags and then there were times I was like, OK, yeah, that's a red flag.

1223
01:13:21.880 --> 01:13:25.240
I'm not blowing past that past that guy this time, you know.

1224
01:13:25.480 --> 01:13:29.600
And so you just start to recognize it and not keep blowing past that.

1225
01:13:29.880 --> 01:13:36.480
But I knew stuff here that I didn't really know, like and I had a maturity about me and

1226
01:13:36.480 --> 01:13:41.760
a healing about me that equipped me to not do the same thing I did over here.

1227
01:13:42.080 --> 01:13:47.760
So I want to encourage you guys, I was I was commenting on Cassandra's, you know,

1228
01:13:48.000 --> 01:13:54.440
thing in there. To really just just say, you know what, I'm just going to pick a name.

1229
01:13:54.480 --> 01:13:57.400
Let's see here. I see stuff, stuff.

1230
01:13:57.400 --> 01:14:00.120
I see you. God sees you, too, stuff.

1231
01:14:00.440 --> 01:14:06.880
It's OK that you made that mistake with that person and God forgives you and stuff, you

1232
01:14:06.880 --> 01:14:11.280
know, like I'm pretending like I'm talking to myself and I'm stuff, but I'm doing it

1233
01:14:11.280 --> 01:14:13.240
with stuff because God told me to pick stuff.

1234
01:14:13.880 --> 01:14:15.640
But like stuff, I forgive you.

1235
01:14:17.240 --> 01:14:21.920
I forgive you for making that mistake, but today is a new day and you're learning,

1236
01:14:22.120 --> 01:14:25.360
you're learning new things and you're learning new skills and stuff, you know what

1237
01:14:25.360 --> 01:14:27.040
you're going to pick differently next time.

1238
01:14:28.160 --> 01:14:31.440
I feel the Holy Spirit on that, so God must have that for you tonight, stuff.

1239
01:14:32.160 --> 01:14:37.400
Yeah. You guys, literally, this is how we can talk kind to ourselves.

1240
01:14:38.400 --> 01:14:43.760
We forgive ourselves, we use our own name and we really gratify and build ourselves up

1241
01:14:43.760 --> 01:14:49.040
and and help us to know that, you know, tomorrow is is a different day.

1242
01:14:49.440 --> 01:14:55.640
Everything you all literally, no matter what what happened leading up to tonight, from

1243
01:14:55.640 --> 01:14:59.960
this day forward, you will be different and can be.

1244
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:06.120
different if you choose to believe it and align yourself with the truth and allow God

1245
01:15:06.120 --> 01:15:11.440
to heal and restore you and set you on an entirely different path.

1246
01:15:11.440 --> 01:15:16.080
Some of you all are about to step on a path that you thought was never possible for your

1247
01:15:16.080 --> 01:15:20.480
family and God is saying, yes, you will.

1248
01:15:20.480 --> 01:15:24.780
You are the kinsman redeemer in your family and I am walking by your side and I'm going

1249
01:15:24.780 --> 01:15:28.500
to help you do this thing.

1250
01:15:28.500 --> 01:15:29.500
He forgives you.

1251
01:15:29.500 --> 01:15:36.440
First of all, literally, as soon as we ask, God forgives us and he remembers it no more.

1252
01:15:36.440 --> 01:15:39.640
The enemy is the one who remembers it and tries to torment us.

1253
01:15:39.640 --> 01:15:44.720
So if you're being tormented, perfect love casts out all fear.

1254
01:15:44.720 --> 01:15:47.680
Fear is what has to do with torment.

1255
01:15:47.680 --> 01:15:48.680
Fears of the enemy.

1256
01:15:48.680 --> 01:15:49.680
Okay.

1257
01:15:49.680 --> 01:15:50.680
All right.

1258
01:15:50.680 --> 01:15:55.080
So who's willing to share with the whole group what you shared in your breakout about forgiveness?

1259
01:15:55.080 --> 01:16:02.020
Who are you forgiven tonight and why?

1260
01:16:02.020 --> 01:16:03.020
I can share.

1261
01:16:03.020 --> 01:16:04.020
Awesome.

1262
01:16:04.020 --> 01:16:05.020
Go ahead.

1263
01:16:05.020 --> 01:16:10.140
Um, so the first, well, people I said was, I said, I've had several people that I've

1264
01:16:10.140 --> 01:16:15.000
dated that have just ghosted and don't like end things.

1265
01:16:15.000 --> 01:16:18.180
And so I just shared how that's, I like to have closure.

1266
01:16:18.180 --> 01:16:21.820
Like was it something I did something I said, not that it matters cause it's already over,

1267
01:16:21.820 --> 01:16:23.740
but to have that closure.

1268
01:16:23.760 --> 01:16:27.920
And then the other person that I'm going to forgive is myself.

1269
01:16:27.920 --> 01:16:33.400
And I just shared that because of something that was said in elementary and in junior

1270
01:16:33.400 --> 01:16:38.760
high, um, I don't see myself as the Lord does.

1271
01:16:38.760 --> 01:16:41.320
And I'm just embarrassed and sad all at the same time.

1272
01:16:41.320 --> 01:16:47.880
I'm now 42 that I let something from that long ago, um, affect how I feel about myself.

1273
01:16:47.880 --> 01:16:49.760
And one of my words this year is believe.

1274
01:16:49.760 --> 01:16:53.400
And so I need to believe in myself and see myself as he does.

1275
01:16:54.060 --> 01:16:55.060
So good.

1276
01:16:55.060 --> 01:16:58.100
I'm going to go ahead and let a couple of people share, and then I'm going to jump in

1277
01:16:58.100 --> 01:17:01.460
and do some coaching just so we can get through a couple of people.

1278
01:17:01.460 --> 01:17:02.460
Okay.

1279
01:17:02.460 --> 01:17:08.100
I, I don't know how to say your name and I'm, I don't want to butcher it to craziness.

1280
01:17:08.100 --> 01:17:15.460
I'll begins with an O your name begins, tell me how to say your name.

1281
01:17:15.460 --> 01:17:16.460
Okay.

1282
01:17:16.460 --> 01:17:17.460
Oluwabunsalami.

1283
01:17:17.460 --> 01:17:18.460
You can just call me Busola.

1284
01:17:18.460 --> 01:17:19.460
Okay.

1285
01:17:19.460 --> 01:17:20.460
Busola.

1286
01:17:20.460 --> 01:17:21.460
I would love to hear what you have to say.

1287
01:17:21.520 --> 01:17:22.520
Okay.

1288
01:17:22.520 --> 01:17:32.320
Um, I shared, um, in my group that I, um, the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to forgiving

1289
01:17:32.320 --> 01:17:33.320
my parents.

1290
01:17:33.320 --> 01:17:39.800
I didn't know that I had, um, any heart against them, maybe with my dad, but like now with

1291
01:17:39.800 --> 01:17:46.000
my mom and the Holy Spirit just opened my eyes to seeing that I had, um, arts against

1292
01:17:46.000 --> 01:17:51.920
them and that I needed to forgive and, um, let them go.

1293
01:17:51.920 --> 01:17:56.040
And it didn't just like do it in a way to say forgive.

1294
01:17:56.040 --> 01:18:02.520
He also pointed out the fact that I needed to focus on the positive things that, um,

1295
01:18:02.520 --> 01:18:09.160
I gained from being their child, um, much more like, Oh, they might not be perfect,

1296
01:18:09.160 --> 01:18:16.040
but, um, you know, the brush up in the way of the Lord took you to church, but, um, taught

1297
01:18:16.040 --> 01:18:25.200
you the importance of prayer fasting and, you know, did their very best to, um, to give

1298
01:18:25.200 --> 01:18:30.680
you the world, you know, reminded me that, um, yeah, your parents probably might not

1299
01:18:30.680 --> 01:18:36.520
be the richest, but I had access to like everything I needed.

1300
01:18:36.520 --> 01:18:43.280
And, um, probably going, um, I grew up in Nigeria, so probably going, um, vacation abroad

1301
01:18:43.280 --> 01:18:50.680
and all that, you know, they made sure that I did have those things that I needed.

1302
01:18:50.680 --> 01:18:53.600
And those who just said, you know what, they might not be perfect.

1303
01:18:53.600 --> 01:18:54.960
They might not be this.

1304
01:18:54.960 --> 01:19:01.800
And you probably, um, feel that, Oh, this, they did this, they didn't do that.

1305
01:19:01.800 --> 01:19:05.840
Just let it go and be thankful for what you have.

1306
01:19:05.840 --> 01:19:06.840
And yeah.

1307
01:19:06.840 --> 01:19:09.240
And that has really helped me so much.

1308
01:19:09.240 --> 01:19:10.240
Thank you.

1309
01:19:10.240 --> 01:19:16.240
That was so good, Jeanette, go ahead.

1310
01:19:16.240 --> 01:19:23.240
Hey, Bethany, how are you?

1311
01:19:23.240 --> 01:19:24.240
Good.

1312
01:19:24.240 --> 01:19:25.240
Um, okay.

1313
01:19:25.240 --> 01:19:35.080
Um, what I shared in the group was I'm trying to forgive a, one of my kindergarten while

1314
01:19:35.320 --> 01:19:39.200
she was my main kindergarten teacher.

1315
01:19:39.200 --> 01:19:47.920
I only went to that Christian school for two years, but this teacher told me I was stupid

1316
01:19:47.920 --> 01:19:57.040
when I was only five and I almost lost my dad at five years old.

1317
01:19:57.040 --> 01:19:58.360
He had a massive heart attack.

1318
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:06.480
and it could have died but praise God he did it. He's still here.

1319
01:20:08.720 --> 01:20:14.160
But I have to forgive that teacher for what she told me because it's still there

1320
01:20:15.920 --> 01:20:18.160
and I have to keep telling myself I'm not stupid.

1321
01:20:20.480 --> 01:20:26.960
Yes. I know that I'm smart but still that just comes out.

1322
01:20:26.960 --> 01:20:35.200
Yes. I believe God's going to take care of that root in you. He is. He's going to help you get

1323
01:20:35.200 --> 01:20:39.760
through this and you're not going to keep questioning if you're smart or not anymore.

1324
01:20:39.760 --> 01:20:43.120
I think you're going to finally cross that hurdle in this time frame.

1325
01:20:44.160 --> 01:20:51.120
So just be open to just even times of ministry. Y'all when we have deep things like this where

1326
01:20:51.120 --> 01:20:57.600
they come up this word that was spoken to her and one of the ways you can tell that it's still

1327
01:20:57.600 --> 01:21:06.400
got a decent hold is that it still like deeply hurts us, right? And so there's no shame in that

1328
01:21:06.400 --> 01:21:11.600
Jeanette. I just want you to know like but I feel like it's important for people like when we

1329
01:21:12.640 --> 01:21:19.360
feel it that deep in our emotions still that's where you can see that you know that's still

1330
01:21:19.360 --> 01:21:24.880
kind of rooted in there in your belief system and it's probably infiltrated into some other areas

1331
01:21:24.880 --> 01:21:30.000
and it might even be connected to something else that you don't remember. Maybe you do. Maybe

1332
01:21:30.000 --> 01:21:36.480
someone else has said that to you along the way or even since then and it's built on it. And so

1333
01:21:36.480 --> 01:21:44.800
as you continue to as you as you choose to forgive her you know and maybe for you maybe your door

1334
01:21:44.800 --> 01:21:54.000
sign is Jeanette is smart. Jeanette is loved, accepted, whatever you need to say to yourself

1335
01:21:54.720 --> 01:22:02.080
so that you can start really loving you. You know sometimes I have a friend I think I maybe

1336
01:22:02.080 --> 01:22:08.480
mentioned her to you all before. She has some dyslexia and she says some things you know she

1337
01:22:08.480 --> 01:22:15.360
has a hard time reading and and when I first met her she was terrified to talk out loud

1338
01:22:16.400 --> 01:22:23.520
and and now she prays on calls and God is using her and she's taking all kinds of studies on

1339
01:22:23.520 --> 01:22:28.720
prophetic stuff and she went to school to become a nurse and and she had people Jeanette and this

1340
01:22:28.720 --> 01:22:36.160
is why I'm saying this that told her she was stupid and she could never do it and she did it.

1341
01:22:36.160 --> 01:22:40.080
She did it and I believe you're going to be able to do some things too. Maybe some things you've

1342
01:22:40.080 --> 01:22:44.960
wanted to do for a long time that you've been afraid to step out and do but God wants to

1343
01:22:44.960 --> 01:22:49.120
restore you and heal you in that area and help you excel. I believe you're going to excel in

1344
01:22:49.120 --> 01:22:54.720
the days ahead. All right thank you so much for sharing. Let's see Michaela go ahead.

1345
01:22:57.200 --> 01:23:03.840
I just appreciated you saying the piece about layers and everyone involved because

1346
01:23:04.800 --> 01:23:10.560
there has been something that has keeps coming up just my dad's alcoholism and the way I grew

1347
01:23:10.560 --> 01:23:17.120
up and some things around that and I felt like I forgave him a long time ago but I never

1348
01:23:18.160 --> 01:23:23.280
even thought about anybody else involved. I never thought about like my mom or having any

1349
01:23:23.280 --> 01:23:30.480
hardness of heart against her at all but for me that's what came up tonight is realizing that

1350
01:23:31.360 --> 01:23:36.960
I don't think I've ever thought about or even gone to that place of forgiving her

1351
01:23:39.120 --> 01:23:47.760
and for not taking us out of that situation or protecting us more or you know fill in the blank.

1352
01:23:49.120 --> 01:23:56.320
So I just really appreciated that because it's been driving me crazy why this has been coming up

1353
01:23:56.320 --> 01:24:02.880
because I'm like I felt like I really dealt with it but I never thought about any other

1354
01:24:02.880 --> 01:24:08.960
person involved or any other layer. Yes thank you so much for sharing. I feel the holy spirit all

1355
01:24:08.960 --> 01:24:14.240
over that. Anyone else having that come up for you? I have a couple digital hands up so please

1356
01:24:14.240 --> 01:24:18.960
don't do your digital hands just do your hand in general or put in the chat. Anyone else really

1357
01:24:18.960 --> 01:24:23.280
seeing like okay God showed me someone else connected to that scenario that I need to

1358
01:24:23.280 --> 01:24:29.040
forgive now. I really want to encourage you guys to step in to the water tonight. That's what I'm

1359
01:24:29.040 --> 01:24:35.040
hearing in the spirit so I'm just going to say it. Y'all the guy sat by the pool waiting for people

1360
01:24:35.040 --> 01:24:41.520
to carry him in for years and then in one moment Jesus encountered him and gave him the opportunity

1361
01:24:41.520 --> 01:24:47.840
to get up in the pool and be healed and some of you that's your night tonight. This is your night.

1362
01:24:48.240 --> 01:24:53.360
This is your night to get in the pool and let Jesus heal you completely in these areas. Some

1363
01:24:53.360 --> 01:24:56.800
of you all you know there might be additional layers down the road because you just don't

1364
01:24:56.800 --> 01:25:06.080
remember like our bodies are not the same. It's not the same. It's not the same. It's not the same.

1365
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.760
is built in such a way that it protects us from painful things. And so that's why some of you have

1366
01:25:05.760 --> 01:25:11.040
layers as well that happen, but you're not doing anything wrong. I feel like that's super important

1367
01:25:06.080 --> 01:25:12.320
It's not the same. It's not the same. It's not the same. It's not the same. It's not the same.

1368
01:25:11.040 --> 01:25:15.520
to some of y'all feel like, well, I feel like I'm screwing this up. Why can't I forgive what,

1369
01:25:15.520 --> 01:25:19.280
you know, you're blaming the enemy is trying to get you to blame yourself. And the Lord is saying

1370
01:25:19.280 --> 01:25:26.320
you're, you're not to blame. Okay. You're not to blame. Yeah. Some of you all just need to like,

1371
01:25:26.320 --> 01:25:32.160
kind of let that soak into like the little girl in you was not to blame. And the adult version

1372
01:25:32.160 --> 01:25:40.560
of you is not to blame. Hurt people, hurt people, you all and broken people, break people. But I

1373
01:25:40.560 --> 01:25:44.640
was saying when you all were in the breakouts, heal people, heal people. And that's why we're

1374
01:25:44.640 --> 01:25:50.480
here. That's why we're here. Thank you for sharing that. That's so good. Crystal, go ahead.

1375
01:25:50.480 --> 01:26:01.600
I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm pretty emotional about this one. So I think earlier when you were talking

1376
01:26:01.600 --> 01:26:07.440
about like faithfulness as a little girl, I just realized like how much, like I've done a lot of

1377
01:26:07.440 --> 01:26:16.640
work around forgiving my dad who is incredibly abusive. But what came up was just, I was the

1378
01:26:16.640 --> 01:26:24.160
youngest of four kids and I was always too much. So I was always too loud. I was, you know, my

1379
01:26:24.160 --> 01:26:31.680
dancing was stupid. My music was stupid. My, you know, um, just everything. Like I, my, I felt like

1380
01:26:31.680 --> 01:26:37.440
my siblings never like approved of me. And I kind of realized like, I, I need to forgive them

1381
01:26:37.440 --> 01:26:43.440
obviously, but I can see how that's also playing out in my life. Cause I'm always longing for love

1382
01:26:43.440 --> 01:26:54.160
and acceptance and I find myself like bending myself to fit, to try to fit in. Yeah.

1383
01:26:57.520 --> 01:27:04.320
Yeah. Thank you for sharing. I know it takes so much courage. You all, I know it does,

1384
01:27:05.440 --> 01:27:11.920
but I also know Crystal's courage right now is helping someone else too. Confident of that.

1385
01:27:14.400 --> 01:27:20.400
Crystal, I hope you dance. That's the song that's coming to my mind is I hope you dance. And I hope

1386
01:27:20.400 --> 01:27:26.560
you dance like you've never danced before. And some of y'all what's going to happen. Um, when

1387
01:27:26.560 --> 01:27:30.400
you do some of this stuff, some of you guys need to even just dance in your living rooms and just

1388
01:27:30.400 --> 01:27:38.320
have the best dance party of your life. And, you know, without anybody else, they're saying anything,

1389
01:27:38.320 --> 01:27:45.680
doing anything, but like you just learning how to be fully free, you know, and there's other

1390
01:27:45.680 --> 01:27:50.160
things. I think even some people, what comes to mind, some of y'all need to get on a motorcycle

1391
01:27:50.160 --> 01:27:55.840
and just go ride because someone told you like, that's, you know, that's not for girls. You don't

1392
01:27:55.840 --> 01:28:01.440
do that, whatever. And so, but like, some of you all are going to feel so free if you go do that.

1393
01:28:01.440 --> 01:28:07.920
So whatever your thing is, again, just let God lead you there. And I just want to say,

1394
01:28:07.920 --> 01:28:14.720
Crystal, I'm so sorry that you felt that way when you were a little, and I believe that God

1395
01:28:14.720 --> 01:28:21.280
is going to teach you how to create a different environment for your children and your family

1396
01:28:22.320 --> 01:28:27.440
one day. And then he's, he's doing that right now. He's starting it right now because he's

1397
01:28:27.440 --> 01:28:32.880
showing you the different areas where you felt minimized or left out or not included,

1398
01:28:32.880 --> 01:28:39.280
but God includes you. And he saw you all along and he worked all of these things. This is how

1399
01:28:39.280 --> 01:28:44.800
God is y'all. He brought all these things together tonight to lead her to that revelation. So she

1400
01:28:44.800 --> 01:28:52.080
could get freedom. Same thing for some of you all. Okay. Elizabeth, go ahead. I have a couple

1401
01:28:52.080 --> 01:28:55.920
more ladies and then I have two things I want to share before we close up tonight.

1402
01:28:58.880 --> 01:29:06.160
Me, Elizabeth. Yes. Elizabeth Bach. Okay. I don't know how to say your name. I'm so sorry.

1403
01:29:06.160 --> 01:29:14.160
It's okay. It's all good. Yeah. I think that, well, some things I thought I had

1404
01:29:14.160 --> 01:29:17.200
dealt with a long time ago and I thought I had done all the things, but

1405
01:29:18.000 --> 01:29:28.480
this week again, just thinking about forgiving my stepdad and his friend who,

1406
01:29:31.600 --> 01:29:38.800
who had broken into our home when I was young and raped my mom. And then it became like an ongoing

1407
01:29:38.880 --> 01:29:49.440
thing. And I didn't know at the time what was happening, but I had some, but I remember asking

1408
01:29:49.440 --> 01:29:55.600
my mom much later in life, like what happened that night? Because I've had, like, I've had

1409
01:29:55.600 --> 01:29:59.840
bad dreams around that night. I had, there was like a lot of things around that.

1410
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:07.000
So I think just forgiving them, because sure heck don't want to be tied to that anymore.

1411
01:30:07.000 --> 01:30:24.000
And, and I also know that when I was thinking about that, some of my anger was in my masks and even just trying to be the protector.

1412
01:30:24.000 --> 01:30:39.000
So much for my siblings that I wasn't able to, to have that soft side, like, or even the feel.

1413
01:30:40.000 --> 01:30:48.000
Like, I think there's like something there's been twisted in there with even being attractive about wanting that.

1414
01:30:48.000 --> 01:30:57.000
It's not wanting that type of attention, you know, or not that that's attention, but I didn't want that, you know.

1415
01:30:57.000 --> 01:31:00.000
Yeah.

1416
01:31:00.000 --> 01:31:02.000
Yes, so good.

1417
01:31:03.000 --> 01:31:09.000
So here's a couple things and then I'm going to come, we have time for the last two ladies, so I can't take any more hands up.

1418
01:31:09.000 --> 01:31:15.000
Just want to let you all know, because I don't want to leave anybody out because I know it's super important, but I do have to start to close this up.

1419
01:31:15.000 --> 01:31:21.000
Breaking soul ties, even if you've already watched it, I would encourage you to watch it again.

1420
01:31:21.000 --> 01:31:24.000
Anyone that's really struggling with some kind of deep trauma.

1421
01:31:25.000 --> 01:31:33.000
I don't know if you guys saw, a couple ladies were sharing like how that was a huge revelation for them, that you can actually have a soul tie with a trauma.

1422
01:31:33.000 --> 01:31:39.000
It's not just soul ties with people, we can actually have soul ties with trauma.

1423
01:31:39.000 --> 01:31:45.000
So much so that we don't know how to live apart from the state of that trauma.

1424
01:31:45.000 --> 01:31:47.000
Does that make sense?

1425
01:31:48.000 --> 01:31:50.000
So you may want to consider watching that again.

1426
01:31:50.000 --> 01:32:07.000
And then want to encourage you just to, you know, maybe ask the Lord Elizabeth to help you practice some feminine femininity this week as well in the little kind of having playful and really letting yourself, you know, be seen.

1427
01:32:07.000 --> 01:32:09.000
To be seen.

1428
01:32:10.000 --> 01:32:19.000
So whatever that means for you, because you were saying that in that mask of protector, sometimes even attention from men is kind of what I was interpreting.

1429
01:32:19.000 --> 01:32:22.000
I might have heard it incorrectly, but that's kind of what I heard coming through.

1430
01:32:22.000 --> 01:32:32.000
And to me, that makes total sense too, that your thing you're forgiving is something where your mom was attacked and you didn't feel safe and she wasn't safe.

1431
01:32:32.000 --> 01:32:36.000
So then that connects to not wanting attention from men.

1432
01:32:37.000 --> 01:32:40.000
So you see how this all, this guys, this is where, why it's so important.

1433
01:32:40.000 --> 01:32:45.000
It all weaves together into things and how we show up or don't show up in the world today.

1434
01:32:45.000 --> 01:32:47.000
All right, Corey, go ahead.

1435
01:32:51.000 --> 01:32:52.000
Hi, sorry.

1436
01:32:52.000 --> 01:32:53.000
Hi.

1437
01:32:53.000 --> 01:32:54.000
Hi.

1438
01:32:54.000 --> 01:32:55.000
Hi.

1439
01:32:55.000 --> 01:32:56.000
Okay.

1440
01:32:56.000 --> 01:33:04.000
So for me, I realized, you know, like they were saying, it's a lot of layers, but for me, I grew up overseas on the mission field.

1441
01:33:04.000 --> 01:33:15.000
And when I was one of those, like my parents wanted to be missionaries and oops, I came along and that wasn't going to change.

1442
01:33:15.000 --> 01:33:19.000
So they kept, you know, with their plan and stuff.

1443
01:33:20.000 --> 01:33:29.000
And so as a lack of attachment with my mom, my parents, when I was really, really little, because I stayed all day with the sitters.

1444
01:33:29.000 --> 01:33:33.000
And then when they picked me up, it was, I was already asleep.

1445
01:33:33.000 --> 01:33:35.000
So I didn't have that.

1446
01:33:35.000 --> 01:33:40.000
And then when I got older, we were in like war torn countries.

1447
01:33:40.000 --> 01:33:47.000
And so it was a lot of fear of like, even like survival of the night.

1448
01:33:47.000 --> 01:33:56.000
Like we had to have these walkie talkies with the embassy, the US embassy to like, they would give us a code with where we would stay.

1449
01:33:56.000 --> 01:34:01.000
And like the next morning they would check in to see if we made it through the night kind of thing.

1450
01:34:01.000 --> 01:34:06.000
And so that was a very fearful time of my life.

1451
01:34:06.000 --> 01:34:09.000
And I remember asking like my dad.

1452
01:34:09.000 --> 01:34:17.000
Now, I don't know if he even remembers this, but I asked my dad, well, like, what would happen if I died?

1453
01:34:17.000 --> 01:34:20.000
You know, you're on this mission field.

1454
01:34:20.000 --> 01:34:22.000
I was like 11 at the time.

1455
01:34:22.000 --> 01:34:23.000
And what would happen?

1456
01:34:23.000 --> 01:34:32.000
He was like, well, Abraham sacrifice, you know, Isaac for, you know, ministry or whatever.

1457
01:34:33.000 --> 01:34:36.000
And so that to me, I was like, oh, I'm a sacrifice.

1458
01:34:36.000 --> 01:34:41.000
And then like later on, like I would, life was just so hard.

1459
01:34:41.000 --> 01:34:44.000
And I'm like, well, why do I have to suffer?

1460
01:34:44.000 --> 01:34:51.000
My parents were like, well, you're suffering for someone else's, you know, whatever, a ministry to someone else.

1461
01:34:51.000 --> 01:34:58.000
And I'm like, I don't want to be like, I would love to help somebody, but I don't want to go through the pain.

1462
01:34:58.000 --> 01:35:00.000
You know, somebody else like.

1463
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:03.840
I just, it was horrible. And then like, they sent me off to

1464
01:35:03.840 --> 01:35:06.800
boarding school. And I went to boarding school for years, and

1465
01:35:06.800 --> 01:35:10.400
they came back here. And just there's just so many things with

1466
01:35:10.400 --> 01:35:15.800
my parents that have been a struggle. But like, even going

1467
01:35:15.800 --> 01:35:19.480
to boarding school, when I came home, I was like, clinging to my

1468
01:35:19.480 --> 01:35:22.640
mom, and she would like lock herself in the bathroom, it was

1469
01:35:22.640 --> 01:35:26.520
like, I was too much. And then I would go off for another three

1470
01:35:26.520 --> 01:35:30.320
months, you know, and then I just like, want somebody. And so

1471
01:35:30.320 --> 01:35:37.760
like, since little, little, I've always wanted somebody. And

1472
01:35:37.760 --> 01:35:40.960
I've always felt alone, you know, like, I've never had

1473
01:35:41.000 --> 01:35:46.240
anyone, like, I've never had siblings, or anyone. And so like,

1474
01:35:46.240 --> 01:35:51.080
I just realized over the years, and I've forgiven them. But it's

1475
01:35:51.080 --> 01:35:57.000
just like, layer upon layer, you know, even animals, pets

1476
01:35:57.000 --> 01:36:02.000
that I've had that they've had killed because of whatever

1477
01:36:02.000 --> 01:36:05.680
reason, like, it's just thing after thing. And it's trying to

1478
01:36:05.680 --> 01:36:10.280
forgive them all the name of Christian, you know, like, using

1479
01:36:11.440 --> 01:36:19.680
it distorted my view of God to, you know, yes. So I don't know.

1480
01:36:21.640 --> 01:36:24.920
Thank you so much for sharing that. I think the biggest thing

1481
01:36:24.920 --> 01:36:31.440
is that, because there's a lot, I think starting with one first

1482
01:36:31.480 --> 01:36:35.920
and asking the Lord to help you process that part of it, and

1483
01:36:35.920 --> 01:36:38.400
then move to the next part, because sometimes y'all when

1484
01:36:38.400 --> 01:36:42.120
we're trying to deal with it all at once, it can get very

1485
01:36:42.120 --> 01:36:45.800
overwhelming, and we feel like we're not making progress. And

1486
01:36:45.800 --> 01:36:49.720
so if you ask the Lord to help you, like, I would say,

1487
01:36:49.720 --> 01:36:55.400
honestly, the thing with the boarding school, you coming home

1488
01:36:56.080 --> 01:36:59.520
and trying to cling to your mom, and her going and shutting

1489
01:36:59.520 --> 01:37:02.880
yourself in there in the bathroom, that to me sounded

1490
01:37:02.880 --> 01:37:05.720
like a very like, it was all kind of emotional for you and

1491
01:37:05.720 --> 01:37:09.720
hard, but that when I could hear a lot more pain and emotion

1492
01:37:09.720 --> 01:37:13.040
rising to the surface. And so that's how I started to

1493
01:37:13.040 --> 01:37:17.280
recognize where there's what I call I this is my own label for

1494
01:37:17.320 --> 01:37:21.920
more heat to something. Okay, so more emotion, more, more energy,

1495
01:37:21.920 --> 01:37:25.600
more pain, kind of surrounding that. So I would encourage you

1496
01:37:25.600 --> 01:37:29.000
to start there. Because then that's what led you to to the

1497
01:37:29.000 --> 01:37:32.240
part where you felt like basically abandoned, like you

1498
01:37:32.240 --> 01:37:36.560
didn't have anybody. And so God coming in and healing that area

1499
01:37:36.800 --> 01:37:42.720
and showing you what does it mean to feel fully accepted,

1500
01:37:42.720 --> 01:37:46.880
fully loved, fully embraced is what I hear the Holy Spirit

1501
01:37:46.880 --> 01:37:50.240
saying, like, what does it mean? And I know God doesn't we

1502
01:37:50.240 --> 01:37:53.640
can't, like experience him in the sense of him reaching down

1503
01:37:53.640 --> 01:37:56.880
and hugging us right in the physical, but you know what he

1504
01:37:56.880 --> 01:38:02.400
sends, he sends his people. He sends his kids to come and hug

1505
01:38:02.400 --> 01:38:06.880
us and love us and, and show us what love looks like. So I would

1506
01:38:06.880 --> 01:38:09.760
encourage you even to ask the Lord. It's not like you're being

1507
01:38:09.760 --> 01:38:13.000
desperate. You're just saying, God, I really, I need to feel

1508
01:38:13.000 --> 01:38:17.400
your love with skin on. So can you send me someone to show me

1509
01:38:17.400 --> 01:38:22.600
what love looks like? And just keep allowing him to come in and

1510
01:38:22.600 --> 01:38:26.880
heal and layer by layer, this will this will pass, what you

1511
01:38:26.880 --> 01:38:30.360
feel now will pass. And I believe, um, here's the other

1512
01:38:30.360 --> 01:38:33.840
thing I want to encourage you. So I've never been close to my

1513
01:38:33.840 --> 01:38:37.640
sister. My entire life, we've never been close. And I was

1514
01:38:37.640 --> 01:38:41.320
always so sad because I have always wanted to be close to

1515
01:38:41.320 --> 01:38:44.840
her, but she, it just really has never been possible because

1516
01:38:44.840 --> 01:38:48.960
of where she's at health, like mentally, but she just carries a

1517
01:38:48.960 --> 01:38:52.840
lot of shame for mistakes she made anyways. So I prayed for

1518
01:38:52.840 --> 01:38:56.200
years, like, God, I want a sister. I want a sister. Y'all,

1519
01:38:56.240 --> 01:39:00.920
I like have two sisters now because I met my husband and the

1520
01:39:00.920 --> 01:39:05.880
one in particular, like, we're so similar in some ways. And it

1521
01:39:05.880 --> 01:39:09.640
just seems so like God to not just bring me my spirit mate,

1522
01:39:09.640 --> 01:39:13.400
but to bring me some sisters. And then I have amazing friends

1523
01:39:13.400 --> 01:39:17.320
that act like my sisters. And so I know it's not the same, you

1524
01:39:17.320 --> 01:39:19.920
know, when we want siblings, or we want certain things, but you

1525
01:39:19.920 --> 01:39:25.480
all God can again, it's like he can make it like that pain. It's

1526
01:39:25.480 --> 01:39:28.520
like, we know it was there, but we don't feel like it was there

1527
01:39:28.520 --> 01:39:33.480
anymore. So that makes sense. It starts to heal and meant. All

1528
01:39:33.480 --> 01:39:36.240
right, we're at 939. So I got to be careful here. I could go on

1529
01:39:36.240 --> 01:39:37.840
forever. Y'all Tanya, go ahead.

1530
01:39:38.400 --> 01:39:42.200
Yes, um, thank you so much. It's very difficult for me to

1531
01:39:42.200 --> 01:39:49.320
share. Um, last year, I'm having trouble forgiving my mother. Last

1532
01:39:49.320 --> 01:39:53.880
year. Last year, I found out through a DNA test that my

1533
01:39:53.880 --> 01:39:59.400
sister took that we are half sisters. Now I'm 61 years old,

1534
01:39:59.400 --> 01:40:00.000
and my mother

1535
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:02.080
Thank God, she's still alive.

1536
01:40:02.080 --> 01:40:04.640
She'll be 87 this year.

1537
01:40:04.640 --> 01:40:10.280
It has just took my breath away the whole year.

1538
01:40:10.280 --> 01:40:14.080
It even had an onset of asthma that I never had,

1539
01:40:14.080 --> 01:40:15.800
that I'm still struggling with,

1540
01:40:15.800 --> 01:40:19.680
and I believe it's rooted with that information

1541
01:40:19.680 --> 01:40:24.160
and the struggle that I'm having in forgiving her.

1542
01:40:24.160 --> 01:40:25.840
I confronted her.

1543
01:40:25.840 --> 01:40:27.720
I thought, nicely, Mom,

1544
01:40:27.720 --> 01:40:30.240
I know that how we were brought up,

1545
01:40:30.240 --> 01:40:33.600
I know we were abused, blah, blah, blah.

1546
01:40:33.600 --> 01:40:37.560
If Daddy is not my biological father,

1547
01:40:37.560 --> 01:40:40.900
and he passed away five years ago, it's okay.

1548
01:40:40.900 --> 01:40:42.280
I was trying to make it real,

1549
01:40:42.280 --> 01:40:44.240
and she said, he is.

1550
01:40:44.240 --> 01:40:47.040
She said that to me, he is.

1551
01:40:47.040 --> 01:40:49.440
But when I look at my sister,

1552
01:40:49.440 --> 01:40:52.200
she looks just like them.

1553
01:40:53.080 --> 01:40:57.440
And it has just disturbed everything,

1554
01:40:57.440 --> 01:41:00.920
uprooted everything in my life,

1555
01:41:00.920 --> 01:41:02.640
and I'm struggling with it.

1556
01:41:03.560 --> 01:41:06.000
So for me to even say it,

1557
01:41:06.000 --> 01:41:07.320
bringing it to light,

1558
01:41:07.320 --> 01:41:08.880
I know it's gonna be some healing.

1559
01:41:08.880 --> 01:41:11.400
So thank you for letting me be the last.

1560
01:41:11.400 --> 01:41:13.560
I was one that I got cut off,

1561
01:41:13.560 --> 01:41:15.520
and I was like, oh good, I'm cut off.

1562
01:41:15.520 --> 01:41:17.360
And I was like, listen, I'm not a novice.

1563
01:41:17.360 --> 01:41:18.920
I know this is the enemy,

1564
01:41:18.920 --> 01:41:20.440
so I gotta get back on.

1565
01:41:20.440 --> 01:41:21.840
But thank you, Bethany.

1566
01:41:22.480 --> 01:41:23.320
You're welcome.

1567
01:41:23.320 --> 01:41:25.440
So here's the thing I heard for you.

1568
01:41:26.720 --> 01:41:28.840
Sometimes you all, when we have things like this

1569
01:41:28.840 --> 01:41:29.920
that are revealed,

1570
01:41:29.920 --> 01:41:33.560
where it really feels like our root system is disrupted,

1571
01:41:33.560 --> 01:41:36.640
because who you thought was your full sister

1572
01:41:36.640 --> 01:41:37.880
is now your half sister,

1573
01:41:37.880 --> 01:41:39.940
and then there's other things that you're finding out

1574
01:41:39.940 --> 01:41:44.700
that is revealing maybe an untruth, if you will.

1575
01:41:44.700 --> 01:41:46.640
What I heard the Lord say is like,

1576
01:41:46.640 --> 01:41:48.840
to really encourage you to lean into

1577
01:41:48.840 --> 01:41:52.680
what it means to be rooted in the Lord.

1578
01:41:52.680 --> 01:41:54.760
Because you all, from the beginning of time,

1579
01:41:54.760 --> 01:41:57.440
when we were created, God formed us.

1580
01:41:57.440 --> 01:41:58.400
He chose us.

1581
01:41:58.400 --> 01:41:59.840
Some of you guys have even shared,

1582
01:41:59.840 --> 01:42:03.240
like some of your parents told you that you weren't wanted.

1583
01:42:03.240 --> 01:42:06.760
And even when Corey was sharing,

1584
01:42:06.760 --> 01:42:08.920
our parents may not have planned us, you all,

1585
01:42:08.920 --> 01:42:11.160
but God always had a plan for us.

1586
01:42:11.160 --> 01:42:12.000
He always did.

1587
01:42:12.000 --> 01:42:15.040
If we are here, God had a plan for us.

1588
01:42:15.160 --> 01:42:19.080
And so what does it mean to be rooted in the Lord

1589
01:42:19.080 --> 01:42:22.400
and to know what it's like to allow everything

1590
01:42:22.400 --> 01:42:25.840
to come from that place of safety and security?

1591
01:42:25.840 --> 01:42:30.280
To be rooted in Him and allow that to heal

1592
01:42:30.280 --> 01:42:32.280
and create waves, basically,

1593
01:42:32.280 --> 01:42:34.440
of healing into the other areas

1594
01:42:34.440 --> 01:42:36.960
where you feel uprooted right now.

1595
01:42:36.960 --> 01:42:38.920
Does that make sense?

1596
01:42:38.920 --> 01:42:40.200
It makes sense.

1597
01:42:40.200 --> 01:42:41.040
Okay.

1598
01:42:41.040 --> 01:42:43.760
And I've been trying to process that for a whole year.

1599
01:42:43.800 --> 01:42:44.640
Yeah.

1600
01:42:44.640 --> 01:42:47.880
And it doesn't mean that that is going to go away

1601
01:42:47.880 --> 01:42:50.160
or be like quickly easy.

1602
01:42:50.160 --> 01:42:52.800
But I do believe that as you meditate

1603
01:42:52.800 --> 01:42:55.720
on like who you're rooted in and that you're rooted in Him

1604
01:42:55.720 --> 01:42:57.400
and that He's never gonna leave.

1605
01:42:57.400 --> 01:42:59.680
He's never gonna say, I'm not your dad.

1606
01:42:59.680 --> 01:43:00.520
He formed you.

1607
01:43:00.520 --> 01:43:03.920
Like, He's always gonna be your father in heaven.

1608
01:43:03.920 --> 01:43:05.480
That's not gonna change.

1609
01:43:05.480 --> 01:43:08.360
And so that is something you can cling to

1610
01:43:08.360 --> 01:43:12.600
that's unchanging and is fortified and strong.

1611
01:43:12.600 --> 01:43:15.320
Ladies, we are at 943.

1612
01:43:15.320 --> 01:43:17.600
I'm so glad that you all have been here tonight.

1613
01:43:17.600 --> 01:43:21.080
I hope that God is ministering to you in mighty ways.

1614
01:43:21.080 --> 01:43:22.960
I'm gonna pray us out.

1615
01:43:22.960 --> 01:43:24.240
We don't typically go this long,

1616
01:43:24.240 --> 01:43:26.640
but I really felt like the Lord was on so much

1617
01:43:26.640 --> 01:43:28.840
of what was happening tonight.

1618
01:43:28.840 --> 01:43:30.800
Father, we thank you.

1619
01:43:30.800 --> 01:43:32.240
We thank you for your truth.

1620
01:43:32.240 --> 01:43:34.400
We thank you for your hope, for your healing.

1621
01:43:34.400 --> 01:43:37.160
God, we thank you that you would just,

1622
01:43:37.160 --> 01:43:39.840
would just cover every one of these tender areas

1623
01:43:39.840 --> 01:43:40.960
in the lady's hearts.

1624
01:43:40.960 --> 01:43:42.720
We know the enemy would love to come in

1625
01:43:42.720 --> 01:43:45.840
and just kill, steal, and destroy quickly

1626
01:43:45.840 --> 01:43:49.560
and or assault them in some way through just his words

1627
01:43:49.560 --> 01:43:51.120
and his slander and his lies.

1628
01:43:51.120 --> 01:43:53.240
But Lord, we thank you that you would protect them.

1629
01:43:53.240 --> 01:43:55.280
We thank you that you guard and keep watch over them

1630
01:43:55.280 --> 01:43:56.440
and their families.

1631
01:43:56.440 --> 01:43:58.200
Lord, help them to hear what your spirit is saying

1632
01:43:58.200 --> 01:43:59.840
louder than any voice of the enemy.

1633
01:43:59.840 --> 01:44:03.160
Help them to step further into healing tonight

1634
01:44:03.160 --> 01:44:04.080
and in the days ahead.

1635
01:44:04.080 --> 01:44:07.800
Help them to know you as a good father,

1636
01:44:07.800 --> 01:44:10.600
a father that is kind, a father that is faithful,

1637
01:44:11.240 --> 01:44:12.640
a father that never gives up on them.

1638
01:44:12.640 --> 01:44:14.400
God, I thank you that you never leave us.

1639
01:44:14.400 --> 01:44:16.120
You never forsake us.

1640
01:44:16.120 --> 01:44:19.200
God, you promised that you go before us into all things.

1641
01:44:19.200 --> 01:44:22.080
So Lord, when we are struggling to forgive,

1642
01:44:22.080 --> 01:44:24.840
God, thank you that you've already gone before us

1643
01:44:24.840 --> 01:44:26.440
and you've made a way for us to.

1644
01:44:41.600 --> 01:44:43.520
It looks like she froze.

1645
01:44:43.520 --> 01:44:44.360
Yes.

1646
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:28.640
Thank you so much for all the ladies that are here and all of the things that are heavy

1647
01:45:28.640 --> 01:45:29.640
on their hearts.

1648
01:45:29.640 --> 01:45:31.840
Lord, I know that you've got them.

1649
01:45:31.840 --> 01:45:32.840
Help them to believe.

1650
01:45:32.840 --> 01:45:34.400
Help them to rest in you.

1651
01:45:34.400 --> 01:45:39.080
Help them to know that you are their comforter and that they can just cozy up like a warm

1652
01:45:39.080 --> 01:45:43.720
blanket and just sit with you, Lord, and that you will take care of them and you are there

1653
01:45:43.720 --> 01:45:46.520
for them, Lord, and they can rest in that, Lord.

1654
01:45:46.520 --> 01:45:53.040
Let us not strive, strive, strive, Lord, but let us relax and sit in you and your wisdom

1655
01:45:53.040 --> 01:45:54.040
and your love, Lord.

1656
01:45:54.040 --> 01:45:55.720
Thank you for all you're doing for everybody.

1657
01:45:55.720 --> 01:45:56.720
Thank you, Lord, for this group.

1658
01:45:56.720 --> 01:45:59.280
Thank you for all the women.

1659
01:45:59.280 --> 01:46:00.280
Thank you, Jesus.

1660
01:46:00.280 --> 01:46:01.280
Amen.

1661
01:46:01.280 --> 01:46:02.280
Okay, ladies.

1662
01:46:02.280 --> 01:46:07.960
I don't know if she's coming back, so I think she was going to call it a night anyways.

1663
01:46:07.960 --> 01:46:08.960
So bye.

1664
01:46:08.960 --> 01:46:08.960