WEBVTT

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Hello, how are you?

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Good to see you all.

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Welcome.

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If you're joining us for the first time,

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as in you just signed up in the last few days

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and you haven't already attended orientation earlier today,

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then we definitely want to get you connected

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to the orientation this evening.

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I'm gonna keep repeating this

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for those that have been here for a few weeks,

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just so you know,

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I wanna try to make sure we get them to the right place.

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So anybody joining tonight,

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if you've just signed up in the last few days,

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you have orientation tonight with Jackie,

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that's on the link that I just put in the comments there

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in the chat.

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So be sure to grab that and jump over to orientation

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and you can watch the replay of this later.

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If you joined the 1 p.m. orientation,

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you can totally stay and hang out here with us.

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Okay?

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All right.

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Welcome.

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Welcome to all of my ladies.

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I've been seeing you for a few weeks.

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Good to see everyone.

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I'm loving that your cameras are on.

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You guys are getting used to this now.

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For our new ladies, this is your challenge.

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When you show up as much as possible,

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if you're cooking or driving

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and you just can't turn your camera on,

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that's totally okay.

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No one's ever gonna get mad at you,

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but this is your challenge.

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This is about coming out of hiding

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and letting people see you.

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When you practice being seen by your sisters

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in your community,

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it's going to help you,

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after you finish your heart work,

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to be seen by men

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and be seen by the world.

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So it's good practice to be here, to be seen.

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And whether you have makeup done or not,

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just show up and we love to see you.

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Okay.

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I'm gonna repeat one more time

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just so we get all the new ladies.

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If you did not come to 1 o'clock orientation today,

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you're gonna wanna go to orientation with Jackie tonight.

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I'm putting the link in there.

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You can just click that Zoom link

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and that should take you over to where Jackie is at.

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Cause she's gonna wanna say some things to you

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to get you started in the program tonight

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on the right foot.

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All right.

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And we'll probably have to repeat this again

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just for some trickler people that'll trickle in

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and that's okay.

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Wanna say hello to all of our ladies

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joining us on Facebook,

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as well as those that are watching the replay.

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If you have not met me before,

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my name is Bethany Cooper.

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I'm one of the heart work coaches here in the program

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and you guys are gonna get really familiar with me,

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my team, Annette Winter, Jennifer Yankovich.

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They're gonna be commenting on your post

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and our weekly roll call and all the things as well.

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And then Jackie will be in the group as well at times.

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But we're so glad you're here

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and we're so excited for what God's gonna do tonight.

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I was kind of even leaning into some additional things

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that God brought up in my spirit this afternoon.

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So if you came earlier today,

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there is gonna be some different stuff,

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but I'm excited about just what God is doing

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in your hearts and your minds and in this group,

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all the breakthroughs that I'm reading.

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I love it.

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Those of you that are even struggling,

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you guys, even the struggle is good.

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I remember years ago, my young adult pastor said,

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pain is profitable.

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Y'all, it can be.

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It doesn't feel good, but it can be profitable.

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If we put it in the hands of the Lord,

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he can make purpose out of our pain.

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It is not God that puts us in pain,

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but he can definitely use it for good

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and work it all together

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to do something glorious in our lives.

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So I'm gonna pray

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and then I have a couple of housekeeping things

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for those that are brand new

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that already went to the orientation earlier today,

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because I wanna make sure you guys know

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some really important things as you get started.

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So Father, we just thank you as we open up tonight,

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God, that we come with expectant hearts.

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God, that you're gonna do something really amazing

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and wonderful in our hearts, our minds,

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our spirits, our souls.

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God, I thank you that you would help us

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to hear what your spirit is saying.

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God, help us to hear your voice, your heart.

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Help us to know, Lord,

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the areas where we need to come out of hiding,

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where there needs to be revealings for healing.

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God, I thank you that supernaturally

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you would bring things that are in darkness to the light.

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Lord, God, help us to lean into your presence,

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to understand what it looks like to really trust you

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in a place of rootedness of your love.

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God, that it's not that we have to live

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or move or have or being separate from you

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because you're always connected to us

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and you're always walking with us every step of the way.

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So Lord, I thank you that you would open ears

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tonight to hear, hearts to receive.

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God, I thank you that you would remove any fear, God,

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for anyone that's battling anxiety,

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fear of even engaging in the breakouts.

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God, I just thank you for peace that prevails tonight.

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And we just thank you for an upgrade

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that you're gonna give us in Jesus' name, amen.

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All right, so for those that have been here,

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yes, I can absolutely post that link again, Karen, yeah.

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If you all are joining brand new first time ever

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and you did not go to 1 p.m. orientation today,

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go ahead and click that link.

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to go over and join Jackie Dorman on the orientation tonight.

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If you did attend orientation earlier,

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I'm gonna go through these super quick

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for our ladies that have been here for a few weeks.

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And this is just a good reminder

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for everybody in general, actually,

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is that all of our helper hats come off in this group, okay?

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Except for mine and my other coaches.

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We gotta keep ours on.

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But you guys get to come here and just receive.

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You don't have to fix anybody.

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You don't have to try to help anybody.

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You can cheer your sisters on

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and you guys can say, hey, I'm praying for you.

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And you can interact, excuse me,

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and all of that kind of stuff.

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But no matter what your profession is,

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no matter if you're a counselor, minister, whatever,

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maybe you have the ministry of helps.

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We don't want you to necessarily do that in this group.

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You're here to receive healing from the Father

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and we will guide you in that process along the way.

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I won't be able to answer everyone's question

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as far as if you're supposed to go to orientation.

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The best way is if you did not go at one o'clock today,

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you're gonna wanna jump over there to orientation tonight

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if you're brand new.

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So just keep that in mind as you all are in

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and you're reading each other's posts.

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Sometimes you all, some people's posts are really raw

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and they're really struggling.

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You don't have to feel like you have to fix them

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or save them because that's what God's gonna do.

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And we're gonna coach them how to lean into the Lord

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for that comfort and that grace

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and that love that they need in that moment.

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For those that are new as well,

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and some of you that are even a couple of weeks in,

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you're still not sure where schedules

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and important links are.

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You're gonna go to the JackieDorman.com website.

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You're gonna log in and in the start here area,

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that's where the schedules and important links,

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you're gonna wanna get really comfortable with that.

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You also have downloads in that area.

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All of your links to join every prayer call ever

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in our community is in that important links area.

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Just remember prayer call,

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Monday through Thursday, just women only, that's in there.

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Faith Friday, that prayer link is in there.

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Supernatural Saturday, it's in there.

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Guess what?

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Sunday night activation, it's in there.

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So I'll keep repeating this because a lot of people just,

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they're not sure where to go.

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And so I kind of joke a little bit,

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but it's okay for you guys to ask.

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We wanna make sure that you're connected

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and get to where everyone is at the best that we can.

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Okay, pacing yourself.

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This is the best practice.

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Again, good reminder for those of you

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that are kind of about to finish up in the next few weeks,

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the best recommendation is one week of content per week.

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Here's why.

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Y'all need to process, you need to breathe,

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you need to kind of lean into

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what is the Holy Spirit saying to you

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when you're watching the videos,

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when you're doing the book reading

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and come in the group, in the Facebook group,

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and that is your community place.

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So that's where you're gonna ask questions,

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you're gonna post,

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hey, I'm struggling with what I'm reading

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and this is something God's bringing up from my past

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or whatever your post is,

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that's where you're gonna do that

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in that Facebook community group

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that you all have been given access to.

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Your book reading pages are mentioned

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at the beginning of every week in your instruction area.

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So make sure every single week,

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don't skip past the instruction area

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and just go right to the videos, y'all.

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You need to look at what the instructions say.

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That's gonna be your help and guide every week.

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All right, y'all, I did it.

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I did it in just a few minutes.

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So I hope you guys are excited.

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Tonight is gonna be a great night.

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I did go, for the new ladies,

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I did go through the Jesus Cares Board a little bit

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earlier today.

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I'm not gonna take time

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unless we have extra time at the end to do that tonight,

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but I'll make sure you guys know

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where to watch some of those videos from before

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so that you know what we mean.

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But you can also go into the media files

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and look at the Jesus Cares Board

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that other ladies have done.

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The big thing that I am gonna say

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is it's not a vision board.

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A lot of people immediately think it's vision board.

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This is about the cares and the worries

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and the concerns that weigh you down,

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or things that you're really struggling with

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that you need to say, okay,

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I'm choosing to cast this care on Jesus

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because he cares for me.

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And it sounds like such a simple thing,

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but that activation of literally getting those things

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off yourself and onto the board

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and praying over those things

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really does invite Holy Spirit to come in

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and work supernaturally.

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And a lot of ladies,

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can I get some of my ladies

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that have been in the group for a while

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where you're already experiencing,

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just start to put some stuff in the chat.

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What are some things God's been doing

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in your Jesus Cares Board

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where you can really encourage our new ladies?

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Why is it important?

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How has it blessed you?

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Whatever you wanna write.

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If I have anybody that applies to you,

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that would be great.

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So tonight I wanna talk a little bit

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about supernatural surrender.

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And we did talk about this earlier today.

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The sessions are typically the same,

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but I just felt a little bit of a shift this afternoon.

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So I'm keeping it.

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similar, but I have some additional stuff that I want to bring up tonight.

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So when we're talking about supernatural surrender, I want you guys to start

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thinking about it from the aspect of your unbecoming, all of the things that

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you're not, like the things that you were never intended to be.

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So what that means is like, for example, I'll use myself as an example.

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I was never intended to be with someone that was abusive.

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I was never intended when God originally created me to be in a relationship where

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someone, you know, cheated on me and I went through betrayal.

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I was never intended to have sex before marriage as a young kid, but there were

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a lot of things and trauma and wounds that come in and those lead us to make

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decisions that are not healthy for us, you all.

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And so when we come into this, this program, and even for those of you that

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have been in for a few weeks, don't check out, even if you've listened to

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the supernatural surrender video, because some of you are still struggling

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with how do I really surrender this thing to the Lord?

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How do I really let him come into this place of my heart that I'm struggling

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with, how do I trust that he really does have my best interests at heart?

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Especially because the people in my life that are supposed to love me

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haven't really done a good job at that.

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And so then you're struggling to trust the Lord to be that one that you can

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trust in, rely on, and he will show you that, but it's a process of surrendering

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that and letting go and letting God come in.

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So it's unbecoming all the things that we were never intended to become, but

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it's also us believing that God can do what he says he will do.

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So your belief is going to be key to your process.

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Okay.

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One of the things I talk about a lot is the scripture in the Bible.

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And I apologize.

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I don't have the reference right now, but it's in there.

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You can look for it.

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It says there's a man talking to Jesus and he says, I believe help my unbelief.

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And he's talking about Jesus healing.

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I think his daughter, if I'm not mistaken, I haven't, I should've

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looked at it earlier today.

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But when you guys are going into situations, even in your heartwork

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process, some of you guys have been around the same mountain over and over

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and over, and there's no shame in that.

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I just want to say right now, let's just get rid of the shame because we don't

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know what we don't know until we know it.

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So tonight, some of you might gain, thank you, Claudia.

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Some of you might gain some revelation on, Hey, this might be why I

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keep getting tripped up in this area.

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This might be why I go around this mountain so many times.

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And it's a lot of times it has to do with the healing that we haven't received

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or we don't have the revelation and insight to go into a higher level of

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understanding where we, we realize, Hey, you know what, I'm not, I'm not

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meant to play in the mud, so to speak.

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I'm actually meant to sit up at the King's table and my nice fancy dress.

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I'm kind of like playing fun here, but it doesn't even have to be a fancy dress.

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Some of y'all might check out as soon as I say that, cause you

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might not like fancy dresses, whatever your outfit is.

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But I'm, I'm trying to say like, God never intended for us to be down in

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the squandering places, if you will.

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Okay.

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So tonight I want to just really encourage you to ask the father, even

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right now, just where you're at.

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You don't have to unmute, but just Lord, I believe help my unbelief,

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whatever you need some belief for.

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Maybe your belief is that life can actually be different than what you've experienced.

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Maybe some of you, I don't, I don't know if you can relate to this,

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but my, uh, I have two spiritual daughters.

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I talk about them all the time.

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So if you're new, you're going to hear me talk about them.

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Um, but I don't overshare cause that's their stories, but I will say,

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um, both of their biological parents.

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It's just not good.

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You all, uh, their mom is just really broken.

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And so is their dad.

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Mom's a real bad alcoholic says all kinds of mean stuff to them,

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puts them down all the time.

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Um, and has been from one relationship to another, to another dad, very

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similar, um, very controlling and all of the kinds of things there's a lot there.

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But I say all that to say, you know, when you come into a space and

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that has been your experience and people are like, Hey, just trust the

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Lord or, Hey, just get over that.

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Why do you keep doing that?

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Like sometimes even in the church, let's just be real.

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People are like, Hey, clean, clean your act up.

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But.

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Behavior change isn't necessarily going to lead to lasting change.

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So we have to have the change on the inside of our hearts.

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Healing and transformation on the inside is what's going to cause all of us to

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choose differently on the outside.

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Right?

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So we're going to choose differently and.

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We're going to follow our heart as it heals in that way.

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So tonight, where do you need healing?

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Where do you need belief that your family line stuff can change, that your life

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doesn't have to look like your parents' life, your life doesn't have to feel

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small, and the dreams some of you have dreamt your entire lives that God placed

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in you, that those can actually happen.

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It wasn't God just playing a trick on you, planting dreams in you, but say,

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no, nope, that's never possible.

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If he put the dream in us, then it can be possible in any instance, if we will

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choose to believe and start walking towards that.

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So God is a gentleman.

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I did talk about this earlier today.

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I think it's super important to talk about tonight.

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What do I mean by that?

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I mean, he's never going to come and just shove his way into the door.

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What door?

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I'm talking about the door of your heart.

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You know, one of the things that if you guys can kind of imagine this, like if,

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if Jesus was standing right in front of you and he was just like knocking, like

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gently just knocking on the door of your heart and he was saying, can I, can I come

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in there?

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I'm talking about the heart in general, but I'm also talking about the heart in

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the vulnerable places, the places that we, we don't even want to go back into

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because they're so painful.

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But he's saying, if you'll just, if you'll just let me into those places, I want to

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come and make my home in your heart.

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I want to come and heal those places.

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I want to make them brand new.

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I want to bring the balm of Gilead in and in the balm of Gilead, y'all it's, it's

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an old Testament medicinal property that they used to use to bring complete healing

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to something.

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And so when we pray that, when we talk about that, it's a, it's a, it's a

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It's believing that there can be complete wholeness and healing in our hearts, but

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we first have to let him in.

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And so he will never force his way in.

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So some of you all in your process, in this heartwork journey, no matter what week

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you're in, some of you are still facing that, like, you know, do I really want to

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give this to the Lord?

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Do I want to go back through this?

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And some of you will have situations come up that you're like, man, I've already

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dealt with this.

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I've gone to counseling.

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I've done.

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I've done all the stuff that I needed to do.

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I don't want to talk about this anymore, but it's because there's another layer to

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that situation that you still need healing.

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And that is why the father is bringing up.

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He loves you enough to help you process that additional piece that maybe you just

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don't realize is, is the piece that's currently keeping you stuck where you're

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at. So will you, will you answer the knock on the door tonight?

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Some of you all, it's just like you've had a really rough few days and the enemy's

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been just kicking your butt left and right, and you're feeling discouraged, like,

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00:18:02.840 --> 00:18:04.280
yeah, I know this is working.

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It feels good.

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I know I'm changing, but I still mean, I still not sure if I'm buying into this

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yet. And so maybe that's where you're finding yourself tonight.

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But I just want to encourage you.

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If you'll just, if you'll just let him come into that place, that really vulnerable

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place, he wants to bring life and he wants to bring healing.

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Do you all know that most valleys, we always picture a valley.

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At least I did.

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Maybe I shouldn't speak for you all as very dark and very dead and no life there.

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But did you know, there's actually a ton of valleys that are full of grass and

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flowers and life.

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Not every valley is dead.

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And so that's what else I want to encourage you all with.

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As you lean into the supernatural, surrender, surrender areas of your life that

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you have felt like are completely dead.

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There's nothing there.

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There's no life.

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Nothing good can come from that area.

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The Holy Spirit saying tonight, tonight, like I'm about to reveal to you how alive

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and green and lush and fruitful this place can actually be.

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So that's where he's saying, Hey, let me, let me do this work.

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You can take your hands off.

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You can just follow my lead and I'm going to lead you into the abundant life.

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You don't have to dig for the answers.

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Ladies.

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We always encourage in this group.

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We don't dig.

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We lean into the Holy Spirit for revealing, for healing in every process, even in the

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day-to-day stuff, you all, um, so many things happen in our everyday life.

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And so many of us just kind of go about our way and we're like, man, I'll deal

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with that later, but then a week or two goes by and that's still down in there.

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And then you're like getting offended at somebody super quick and you don't

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even realize why you're doing it.

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But it's because that thing two weeks ago that we just kind of like too busy to

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talk about it and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

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to do. Right. And the Lord's going to show you some of those things. Some of you guys have

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and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

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things for many, many years ago that are percolating to the surface. Um, already some of you guys are

447
00:20:10.880 --> 00:20:15.040
weeks in and that stuff is just like, Whoa, like I didn't even know that was still in there. And

448
00:20:15.040 --> 00:20:19.440
you're wondering, it's like a percolator, you know, like a coffee. Do you guys know what I'm

449
00:20:19.440 --> 00:20:23.280
talking about? Like they just kind of percolates to the surface and then it goes back down

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percolate. So throughout your process, the Lord, that's kind of what he does. He just percolates

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the stuff to the surface at the time that is best for you. Okay. So we don't go dig. We don't need

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to, y'all don't need to feel like you need to go to your families and ask a ton of questions.

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You can some, if you want, but we really encourage you to trust the Holy spirit,

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to reveal the things that you need to know. All right. One of the main reasons we don't

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00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:56.800
want to depend on anyone else is we don't want to be disappointed. Some of you all don't want

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00:20:56.800 --> 00:21:03.120
to depend even on God because you don't want to be disappointed, but here's the thing. God's about

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00:21:03.120 --> 00:21:09.600
to flip your script. God's about to write a whole new story. Some of you guys have been saved very,

458
00:21:09.600 --> 00:21:13.200
very long time, but God's about to show you something new about himself. Some of you,

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00:21:13.200 --> 00:21:16.480
I know one of the ladies, I'm sorry, I can't remember who you are. If you're here tonight,

460
00:21:16.480 --> 00:21:22.720
I apologize. That just said, you know, I don't, I don't know how to do this thing with the Lord.

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And man, it's exciting, man. That excites me. I'm like, yes, come on in. And we're going to show you

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how much God loves you, man. It's going to be an amazing journey, no matter where you're at with

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00:21:35.120 --> 00:21:42.320
the Lord. If you will just allow yourself to hear and to be open. And even if you don't know how to

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hear yet that he will teach you and you'll learn in this loving environment and community control

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00:21:49.200 --> 00:21:54.320
is an illusion ladies and out of control can be a good and even healthy place to be.

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So we want to encourage you guys to, you know, that song, Jesus take the wheel, just literally

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that you would take your hands off the wheel and you would allow yourself to lose control.

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And what we mean by that is just completely say, whatever you want to do, Lord, have your way,

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show me what I need, because see, this is a thing. Some of y'all are, most of y'all have been drawn

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into this because you're, you're looking for that spirit mate, which is the same reason I came in

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00:22:23.840 --> 00:22:29.600
years ago. And along the way, what you're going to find is God's going to light up your whole life.

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He's going to light up your whole life in a good way. You're going to heal from the inside out.

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Some of you guys are going to walk into financial blessing that you've been praying for, for 10

474
00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:43.120
years, because God is healing your life. And all of a sudden you're, you're going to be in position

475
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to receive the blessing. He's always had it and he's not been withholding from you, but the

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00:22:48.240 --> 00:22:52.400
problem is, is that sometimes we think we're ready for something. And if he gives it to us,

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it'll actually destroy us. It'll actually destroy us and cripple us. So he waits until we're ready.

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And you all, some of that for you, for some of you that's marriage. It is. And even if you've

479
00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:10.240
been married before, I was married before too. And I was not ready, man. I thought I was ready and I

480
00:23:10.240 --> 00:23:17.040
was not ready. And I chose really bad. Praise God for grace and forgiveness and restoration. He's so

481
00:23:17.040 --> 00:23:22.160
good at what he does. If y'all don't know my story, I don't know if I even told some of the

482
00:23:22.160 --> 00:23:26.080
older ladies that have been in the group. They're not old in age, but they're, they've been here for

483
00:23:26.080 --> 00:23:32.320
a few weeks. Some of you know, I went through the program a couple of years ago. God really just,

484
00:23:32.960 --> 00:23:37.360
man, he did an amazing work in my heart. I was already doing some work before I came in here

485
00:23:37.360 --> 00:23:42.160
and I just started running. I started running as quick as I could with everything the Lord was

486
00:23:42.160 --> 00:23:51.680
showing me to do. And, um, let's see, that was back in January of 2021. And, uh, I met my husband

487
00:23:51.680 --> 00:23:59.280
in September of 21 and we got married in September of 22. So praise God. I'm a success story in this

488
00:23:59.280 --> 00:24:04.880
community and it's exciting. And, uh, I've been married about a year and a half now and God's

489
00:24:04.880 --> 00:24:09.040
doing some pretty amazing stuff. So the stuff I'm telling you all isn't just because like,

490
00:24:09.040 --> 00:24:14.480
I'm saying something to you, like God's done this stuff in my life and I know he's no respecter of

491
00:24:14.480 --> 00:24:19.520
persons, right? What he does for one, he will do for another. Okay. I'm going to circle back to

492
00:24:19.520 --> 00:24:25.120
this supernatural surrender. So just encourage some of y'all. Yeah. God's got some stuff for

493
00:24:25.120 --> 00:24:31.440
you. That's really, really awesome. Just wait and see. All right. The more hurt we are, the more we

494
00:24:31.440 --> 00:24:36.080
try to control our environment. We're going to talk about not controlling the aspect that some

495
00:24:36.080 --> 00:24:39.200
of you have already heard it a few weeks ago. We're going to talk about it a little different

496
00:24:39.200 --> 00:24:46.480
tonight. So we try to keep everybody where we want them so they can't hurt us. So tonight I want to

497
00:24:46.480 --> 00:24:52.240
encourage you all to just like, who is it? What situation is it that you need to, even if you've

498
00:24:52.240 --> 00:24:56.640
talked about supernatural surrender before in one of the previous sessions, every time we come,

499
00:24:56.640 --> 00:24:59.920
we're all at a different place than where we were before. Even if you came.

500
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.960
And the first time tonight, everybody, God has brought you here tonight at this

501
00:25:03.960 --> 00:25:08.000
appointed time for this appointed purpose to do something that's

502
00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:09.720
really miraculous in your life.

503
00:25:09.720 --> 00:25:12.200
So what is it that you need to surrender tonight?

504
00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:15.720
Where do you need to ask the Lord to help you trust him a little bit more?

505
00:25:16.120 --> 00:25:18.560
You know, some of y'all need to talk about the fact that you just

506
00:25:18.560 --> 00:25:22.600
struggled to trust God and, and why, like, where did that come from for you?

507
00:25:22.600 --> 00:25:25.040
And if you don't know that answer, that's one of the first things we'll

508
00:25:25.040 --> 00:25:29.680
say to you is, Hey, ask the Lord to reveal the first time you were

509
00:25:29.680 --> 00:25:31.520
struggling to trust him ever.

510
00:25:31.800 --> 00:25:34.880
When's the first time Lord, that I struggled to trust you father.

511
00:25:34.880 --> 00:25:38.120
When's the first time that I, I just felt like I had to have complete

512
00:25:38.120 --> 00:25:42.920
control because I was so afraid that if I didn't control, I would be hurt.

513
00:25:43.160 --> 00:25:47.840
I would be broken by somebody, something, whatever that situation is.

514
00:25:48.880 --> 00:25:51.920
So yielding is the form of surrender.

515
00:25:51.920 --> 00:25:56.920
So that's what we're talking about is giving up, giving in, letting go,

516
00:25:56.920 --> 00:26:01.440
waving the white flag, saying, God, God, I'm finally for real, God, I'm

517
00:26:01.440 --> 00:26:07.800
waving the white flag and I'm saying, I need you to do this work in my life

518
00:26:07.800 --> 00:26:10.480
because I can't do it by myself.

519
00:26:10.760 --> 00:26:15.200
So Lord, I need you to come in and show me, show me how to do this.

520
00:26:15.200 --> 00:26:16.960
Show me how to walk in your ways.

521
00:26:17.280 --> 00:26:22.000
It also means to fall back completely into God's arms.

522
00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:24.040
You all like a trust fall.

523
00:26:24.240 --> 00:26:27.280
So tonight I'm going to ask some of y'all to do a trust fall in a sense

524
00:26:27.280 --> 00:26:30.560
too, because some of you guys get into these groups and I'm going to put you

525
00:26:30.560 --> 00:26:31.960
in a breakout group here in a little bit.

526
00:26:31.960 --> 00:26:35.040
If you've never done that, what that means is I kind of set up the

527
00:26:35.040 --> 00:26:38.800
computer and I send you a thing, you click on it and it takes you into

528
00:26:38.800 --> 00:26:42.720
a room with two or yeah, if there'll be most likely three of you.

529
00:26:42.720 --> 00:26:46.280
So about two to three of you in each room, I'm going to ask you to share

530
00:26:46.280 --> 00:26:47.560
your life with a stranger.

531
00:26:47.640 --> 00:26:50.560
I am some of y'all will know each other maybe because you've

532
00:26:50.560 --> 00:26:51.520
been here for a few weeks.

533
00:26:51.960 --> 00:26:52.840
But here's the thing.

534
00:26:53.800 --> 00:26:58.400
If you'll take that risk, if you'll just take that leap and just allow

535
00:26:58.400 --> 00:27:02.320
yourself to be transparent, God's going to work in that in mighty ways.

536
00:27:02.320 --> 00:27:06.280
We have so many sisters that have grown to love each other through our

537
00:27:06.280 --> 00:27:10.640
community and it starts with letting each other in, letting each other

538
00:27:10.640 --> 00:27:13.040
in and letting God do the work.

539
00:27:13.480 --> 00:27:19.160
Um, before I do that, oh yeah, before I do that, I want to read over you guys

540
00:27:19.160 --> 00:27:21.640
and you guys have probably read it before, but again, I think it's

541
00:27:21.640 --> 00:27:25.000
important to do this over you tonight.

542
00:27:26.200 --> 00:27:28.200
You're going to talk about supernatural surrender.

543
00:27:28.200 --> 00:27:33.640
Well, part of surrender has to do with this word that some of us think is so

544
00:27:33.640 --> 00:27:35.480
ugly, we just don't understand it.

545
00:27:35.480 --> 00:27:37.720
That's why it's submission.

546
00:27:38.480 --> 00:27:39.360
I want you guys to go ahead.

547
00:27:39.360 --> 00:27:40.360
I'm going to activate you.

548
00:27:40.360 --> 00:27:42.000
I want you to put in the chat.

549
00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:45.960
What are some, some things you think of when you hear the word submission?

550
00:27:46.280 --> 00:27:47.680
What does that bring up in you?

551
00:27:47.720 --> 00:27:49.120
Go ahead and put that in the chat.

552
00:27:49.120 --> 00:27:50.400
I want to start to see that.

553
00:27:50.960 --> 00:27:51.320
Yep.

554
00:27:51.320 --> 00:27:53.000
That word, there it is.

555
00:27:53.120 --> 00:27:54.200
Submit.

556
00:27:55.160 --> 00:27:55.600
Yep.

557
00:27:55.960 --> 00:27:59.040
So many of us have learned the wrong things about submission.

558
00:27:59.040 --> 00:28:01.520
You all we've learned some bad stuff from church.

559
00:28:01.520 --> 00:28:05.040
We've learned some bad stuff from parents and people, maybe

560
00:28:05.160 --> 00:28:07.000
someone we were married to, whatever.

561
00:28:07.240 --> 00:28:07.600
All right.

562
00:28:07.600 --> 00:28:08.480
I see weakness.

563
00:28:08.480 --> 00:28:09.840
I see do what I say.

564
00:28:09.840 --> 00:28:10.280
Yep.

565
00:28:10.560 --> 00:28:14.400
Not my choice, mutual weakness, being under authority, give up your

566
00:28:14.400 --> 00:28:18.280
will, being controlled, abuse of power.

567
00:28:19.160 --> 00:28:21.040
Uh, let's see ladies on Facebook.

568
00:28:21.040 --> 00:28:24.200
If you're watching this or you're catching the replay, be sure to jump

569
00:28:24.200 --> 00:28:28.920
in and share as you hear these questions as well, because we want to hear from

570
00:28:28.920 --> 00:28:33.640
you too, and I'll try to read from the Facebook feed as much as I can also.

571
00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:34.360
All right.

572
00:28:34.360 --> 00:28:36.720
Yielding slave like attitude.

573
00:28:36.720 --> 00:28:37.160
Okay.

574
00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:38.400
Yeah.

575
00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:41.320
And these are real things that we think, but here's the thing.

576
00:28:41.720 --> 00:28:42.520
None of that's true.

577
00:28:42.520 --> 00:28:44.720
Y'all it's not.

578
00:28:45.160 --> 00:28:49.040
Um, so submission is really a mutual respect.

579
00:28:49.040 --> 00:28:53.920
It's, it's a place in a decision that we make out of love for the other person.

580
00:28:54.720 --> 00:28:58.000
And y'all, when, when a marriage is healthy, when you have two healthy

581
00:28:58.000 --> 00:29:03.080
people and you choose to submit to one another, there's no harm there.

582
00:29:03.600 --> 00:29:09.040
Because you're safe and you're, you're both husband and wife are choosing to

583
00:29:09.040 --> 00:29:15.040
respect and honor one another through submission, but rooted in that place of

584
00:29:15.040 --> 00:29:17.920
love, love, and just confidence in each other.

585
00:29:18.320 --> 00:29:19.360
Yeah, that's there too.

586
00:29:19.360 --> 00:29:23.560
But really it's the rooted and grounded being rooted and grounded in the love

587
00:29:23.560 --> 00:29:30.600
of the father and not of man when people control and they use submission and that

588
00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:32.560
word and they throw it around and toss it around.

589
00:29:32.560 --> 00:29:34.560
Like you got to do what I say or else.

590
00:29:35.160 --> 00:29:36.760
Now, here's the thing.

591
00:29:37.120 --> 00:29:40.840
Typically those are people that are not healed in their heart and they're not

592
00:29:40.840 --> 00:29:44.920
operating from a place of rootedness in the love of the father.

593
00:29:44.920 --> 00:29:47.400
So they're acting out of a sinful nature.

594
00:29:47.800 --> 00:29:48.840
That's what's happening there.

595
00:29:49.360 --> 00:29:55.800
So for those of you that have been abused and controlled, whether in church or not.

596
00:29:55.840 --> 00:30:00.200
However, yeah, a lot of, I had people that were abused.

597
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.720
say stuff like that too. And even that slave-like attitude, I would encourage you to ask the Lord,

598
00:30:06.720 --> 00:30:13.680
you know, when did you first, you know, when was the first time you learned it from a bad

599
00:30:13.680 --> 00:30:19.760
perspective, you know, as far as submission? Was it even with a parent and just, you do what I say,

600
00:30:19.760 --> 00:30:24.640
don't, don't, you know, don't ask questions, you know, that, that compliant, you have no opinion,

601
00:30:25.200 --> 00:30:30.800
you have no voice. Yeah, that's not the father. That isn't the father's view of submission ever.

602
00:30:31.760 --> 00:30:36.960
Okay. It's out of love in and out of a choice. That's why I said, God's a gentleman. He's not

603
00:30:36.960 --> 00:30:43.760
going to force his way in. And so he doesn't force you to submit either. He wants you to

604
00:30:43.760 --> 00:30:48.880
have a relationship with him. That's why he sent Jesus Christ. Yes, Jesus came to die on the cross

605
00:30:48.880 --> 00:30:52.480
for his blood to be shed for the forgiveness of our sins, for our healing, for our freedom,

606
00:30:52.480 --> 00:30:58.640
but also so that we can be in relationship with him as he is in relationship with the father.

607
00:30:58.640 --> 00:31:05.520
Y'all it's all about relationship. So it's a mutual giving, even in submission with the Lord

608
00:31:05.520 --> 00:31:11.520
that out of that place of love for him, not control, not because you have to. That's why

609
00:31:11.520 --> 00:31:19.440
everyone has free will because he wants us to choose and he won't force us. All right. So I

610
00:31:19.440 --> 00:31:22.960
want to encourage you all. We're going to do this real quick before I put you into breakout

611
00:31:24.640 --> 00:31:30.960
to close your eyes. And I want you to hold out your hands like this. Okay. There's a purpose.

612
00:31:31.520 --> 00:31:36.080
So when we hold out our hands like this, we can receive things and we can give.

613
00:31:36.080 --> 00:31:42.240
Okay. So this is a posture of like submission and openness and surrender tonight. I'm going to read

614
00:31:42.240 --> 00:31:46.640
this submission activation over you again. You might've heard this, read this, but I want to

615
00:31:46.640 --> 00:31:52.000
bless you with this tonight. Father God, I give you permission to search me and to reveal anything

616
00:31:52.000 --> 00:31:57.120
in my heart that does not belong to my true identity. And that is hindering me from living

617
00:31:57.120 --> 00:32:02.000
the life you created me to live. Holy spirit. I invite you into the darkest places in my heart.

618
00:32:03.120 --> 00:32:07.840
Show me the areas that are still wounded and are still hurting. When you reveal these broken

619
00:32:07.840 --> 00:32:12.720
places to me, I covenant with you to release them into your care and to respond with forgiveness and

620
00:32:12.720 --> 00:32:19.440
repentance. I set aside this season of my life for a time of healing and wholeness and ask holy

621
00:32:19.440 --> 00:32:27.120
spirit to take charge of this process. I ask that you dwell with me and in me, I need you. I cannot

622
00:32:27.120 --> 00:32:33.600
heal myself. I want to be free from the past free to be who I truly am. Help me to become who you

623
00:32:33.600 --> 00:32:40.880
created me to be. Show me the lies I've believed about myself, my life, my surroundings, even the

624
00:32:40.880 --> 00:32:47.600
lies I have believed about you. Teach me the greater truth. Teach me your ways. Teach me how

625
00:32:47.600 --> 00:32:57.360
to think and how to live abundantly. Teach me, show me, heal me, grow me. Amen. And amen. Yes,

626
00:32:57.360 --> 00:33:02.720
Lord. We just thank you for this. We seal this prayer and this submission activation tonight.

627
00:33:02.720 --> 00:33:06.800
God, I thank you that you'll just help them to come up a little bit higher into your,

628
00:33:06.800 --> 00:33:11.840
into your lap father, that some of them don't, you know, haven't even learned what a good father

629
00:33:11.840 --> 00:33:15.120
is on this earth. So Lord, I pray that you would just show them tonight, a glimpse

630
00:33:16.000 --> 00:33:20.800
of your heart as their good father in Jesus name. Amen. All right. I'm going to put you

631
00:33:20.800 --> 00:33:24.000
into your breakout. So when you go into your breakout, this is the question

632
00:33:24.960 --> 00:33:32.080
tonight. What ways do you struggle with the ideas of submission and, or trusting God or both? Okay.

633
00:33:32.720 --> 00:33:38.640
So what ways do you struggle with the ideas of submission or trusting God? And you're going to

634
00:33:38.640 --> 00:33:44.640
talk about that with each other. Okay. Give me one sec. I'll get these up set up here.

635
00:33:45.840 --> 00:33:50.400
Okay. And also for our new ladies, if you don't know, when I put you in these breakouts,

636
00:33:52.320 --> 00:33:56.880
wait for a minute, because if anybody has any internet service that lags, it takes them a

637
00:33:56.880 --> 00:34:01.200
little bit longer to get into the rooms. And if you guys pop back out, they might be going in

638
00:34:01.200 --> 00:34:06.320
there. So just kind of wait. If I see someone in a room by themselves, I will move you. I'll send

639
00:34:06.320 --> 00:34:10.880
you a new invite to a different room. Okay. All right. I'm going to give you guys nine minutes

640
00:34:10.880 --> 00:34:15.440
because you have three people in there again. What ways do you struggle with the ideas of

641
00:34:15.440 --> 00:34:20.719
submission or trusting God? All right. You guys can start clicking to go into those rooms.

642
00:34:20.719 --> 00:34:23.440
Yeah. I should see a notification there. Click to join.

643
00:34:23.440 --> 00:34:31.360
All right. How are my ladies doing on Facebook? I want to hear from you all. What do you want to

644
00:34:31.360 --> 00:34:35.840
say? Do you have any questions? I'm going to start reading some of your stuff here in just a sec.

645
00:34:37.600 --> 00:34:44.159
I just got to make sure everybody gets into these rooms. Just totally dropped my pen. All right.

646
00:34:44.639 --> 00:34:49.920
All right. So I'm going to go ahead and click to join, and then I'm going to go ahead and click

647
00:34:49.920 --> 00:35:02.880
to update. Alice, are you able to click to join?

648
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.680
Laura, did it kick you out?

649
00:35:07.800 --> 00:35:10.100
I'm going to send you another invite.

650
00:35:10.100 --> 00:35:11.520
I don't know if it popped you out of the room.

651
00:35:11.520 --> 00:35:13.680
Sometimes Zoom does that.

652
00:35:13.680 --> 00:35:16.680
Do you see that there for you?

653
00:35:19.000 --> 00:35:23.040
Awesome. I think everybody's good.

654
00:35:23.040 --> 00:35:29.240
Okay. All right.

655
00:35:29.240 --> 00:35:34.640
Cool. Father, thank you so much for just this amazing group of women.

656
00:35:34.640 --> 00:35:36.520
Thank you, God, for what you're doing in their lives.

657
00:35:36.520 --> 00:35:39.320
Thank you for just revealing things for healing,

658
00:35:39.320 --> 00:35:43.120
even as they're talking about submission and struggling to trust you, Lord.

659
00:35:43.120 --> 00:35:46.880
I pray that you would just bring truth where there's been death,

660
00:35:46.880 --> 00:35:48.960
where there's been destruction in their mindsets

661
00:35:48.960 --> 00:35:52.320
about just who you are as a good father.

662
00:35:52.440 --> 00:35:57.480
Lord, I pray that any areas where the enemy has lorded submission over them

663
00:35:57.480 --> 00:36:00.600
through other people, I ask you to heal those areas tonight,

664
00:36:00.600 --> 00:36:02.680
even as they're talking as well.

665
00:36:02.680 --> 00:36:05.280
God, we thank you that you would just lead us into greater truth.

666
00:36:05.280 --> 00:36:11.800
I thank you, Lord, that you hide us in the cleft of your rock

667
00:36:11.800 --> 00:36:13.840
when there's hardships that come.

668
00:36:13.840 --> 00:36:17.200
And I thank you that you give your angels command over us

669
00:36:17.200 --> 00:36:19.600
in the sense to protect us, to look out for us.

670
00:36:19.600 --> 00:36:23.760
And I thank you that your eyes go to and fro all about the earth.

671
00:36:23.760 --> 00:36:26.560
And I thank you, Lord, that your eyes are always upon us,

672
00:36:26.560 --> 00:36:29.000
that you never slumber, that you never sleep.

673
00:36:29.000 --> 00:36:31.480
And God, that you are working in our life.

674
00:36:31.480 --> 00:36:34.160
Even when we're sleeping, you're working and you're moving

675
00:36:34.160 --> 00:36:37.040
and you're moving all the pieces and the parts around

676
00:36:37.040 --> 00:36:41.840
that can lead us into the good will and plan that you have for our lives.

677
00:36:41.840 --> 00:36:43.440
And I just thank you for that.

678
00:36:43.440 --> 00:36:47.120
I'm going to start to say some things to the ladies here on Facebook.

679
00:36:47.120 --> 00:36:48.600
Let's see here.

680
00:36:48.600 --> 00:36:49.760
Oh, Dawn, that's totally fine.

681
00:36:49.760 --> 00:36:51.240
I'm so glad you're here on Facebook.

682
00:36:51.240 --> 00:36:54.600
Even if you couldn't be here on Zoom, it's so great to see you.

683
00:36:54.600 --> 00:36:58.040
Good evening, Karen, watching from Facebook as well.

684
00:36:58.040 --> 00:36:58.920
Love you.

685
00:36:58.920 --> 00:37:00.680
So glad you're here.

686
00:37:00.680 --> 00:37:02.520
Is this prayer activation written anywhere?

687
00:37:02.520 --> 00:37:03.080
Yes.

688
00:37:03.080 --> 00:37:07.000
Paula, the prayer activation is in your HeartWork e-book.

689
00:37:07.000 --> 00:37:11.840
If you haven't gotten to that part yet, it is in there.

690
00:37:11.840 --> 00:37:15.200
And you will see that very soon as you start reading.

691
00:37:15.200 --> 00:37:19.080
But yeah, some of those things, you all, I did that a lot.

692
00:37:19.080 --> 00:37:21.840
I printed the submission activation out.

693
00:37:21.840 --> 00:37:25.760
And then there's one later in the book that's a forgiveness prayer.

694
00:37:25.760 --> 00:37:28.080
I printed those out and I read those a lot.

695
00:37:28.080 --> 00:37:31.840
So that might be something you all would want to consider doing as well.

696
00:37:31.840 --> 00:37:37.200
Dawn says here, submission has been in my former marriages and relationships.

697
00:37:37.200 --> 00:37:39.120
I need to be the slave in the bedroom.

698
00:37:39.120 --> 00:37:41.480
And he is the master.

699
00:37:41.480 --> 00:37:42.080
Yeah, Ugg.

700
00:37:42.080 --> 00:37:43.680
I think that's Ugg too, Dawn.

701
00:37:43.680 --> 00:37:45.360
I'm so sorry that you went through that.

702
00:37:45.360 --> 00:37:48.680
These men were not Christians and I wasn't at the time.

703
00:37:48.680 --> 00:37:51.640
But it was a very big part and impacted my married life

704
00:37:51.640 --> 00:37:53.760
and into my Christian relationships.

705
00:37:53.760 --> 00:37:57.040
Yeah, I can imagine that would have been so hard to go through.

706
00:37:57.040 --> 00:38:00.400
I'm going to say something on this more here in just one second.

707
00:38:00.400 --> 00:38:02.240
I have someone logging in.

708
00:38:02.240 --> 00:38:04.320
So I'm going to hold that thought for a minute.

709
00:38:04.320 --> 00:38:09.840
As soon as she gets on here, I'll kind of get her connected to go.

710
00:38:09.840 --> 00:38:10.680
I think she.

711
00:38:10.680 --> 00:38:11.360
OK.

712
00:38:11.360 --> 00:38:11.840
Hi, Michelle.

713
00:38:11.880 --> 00:38:14.160
I'm going to go ahead and connect you to the breakout rooms.

714
00:38:14.160 --> 00:38:15.080
Everybody's in there.

715
00:38:15.080 --> 00:38:17.680
They're talking about what ways do you struggle

716
00:38:17.680 --> 00:38:21.840
with the idea of submission or trusting God?

717
00:38:21.840 --> 00:38:23.760
So I'm going to put you in a breakout and you'll

718
00:38:23.760 --> 00:38:25.840
be able to share with the other ladies.

719
00:38:25.840 --> 00:38:28.760
Go ahead and click to join that room.

720
00:38:28.760 --> 00:38:31.080
Oh, hi, Brittany.

721
00:38:31.080 --> 00:38:33.800
Got another person jumping on here.

722
00:38:33.800 --> 00:38:35.440
Hi, Brittany.

723
00:38:35.440 --> 00:38:37.320
We are doing breakout sessions right now.

724
00:38:37.320 --> 00:38:39.560
The ladies are talking about what ways do you

725
00:38:39.560 --> 00:38:43.840
struggle with the ideas of submission or trusting God?

726
00:38:43.840 --> 00:38:47.480
So I'm going to put you in a breakout here in just a second.

727
00:38:47.480 --> 00:38:48.320
OK, sorry.

728
00:38:48.320 --> 00:38:49.040
Hi.

729
00:38:49.040 --> 00:38:50.440
Oh, that's OK.

730
00:38:50.440 --> 00:38:52.080
I almost forgot.

731
00:38:52.080 --> 00:38:52.920
Oh, that's all right.

732
00:38:52.920 --> 00:38:54.600
Jasmine, I'm going to put you in the breakout room.

733
00:38:54.600 --> 00:38:57.280
The ladies will tell you what they're talking about, OK?

734
00:38:57.280 --> 00:38:58.080
I don't know what.

735
00:38:58.080 --> 00:38:58.880
There we go.

736
00:38:58.880 --> 00:39:01.000
The thing wasn't highlighting for you for a second there.

737
00:39:01.000 --> 00:39:02.920
All right, Brittany, you're good to go.

738
00:39:02.920 --> 00:39:03.920
Thank you.

739
00:39:03.920 --> 00:39:04.720
You're welcome.

740
00:39:04.720 --> 00:39:08.320
So Dawn, on this, I just want to comment about this.

741
00:39:08.320 --> 00:39:10.720
And in the sense of for anyone that

742
00:39:10.720 --> 00:39:14.360
is watching this that has gone through any level of abuse,

743
00:39:14.360 --> 00:39:18.320
sexually, intimately, whether it was with your spouse

744
00:39:18.320 --> 00:39:20.200
or someone else that took advantage of you

745
00:39:20.200 --> 00:39:23.080
and kind of did that whole you have to submit

746
00:39:23.080 --> 00:39:26.800
or else kind of stuff, I just want

747
00:39:26.800 --> 00:39:29.160
you to really lean into, like, what

748
00:39:29.160 --> 00:39:32.320
does the Lord want to say to you about those situations

749
00:39:32.320 --> 00:39:33.120
and those areas?

750
00:39:33.120 --> 00:39:36.640
And how does He want to come in and love the version of you

751
00:39:36.680 --> 00:39:40.000
that was going through those areas and that trauma?

752
00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:46.320
And just how can we learn to shift into the place

753
00:39:46.320 --> 00:39:48.360
where we don't attract those people anymore?

754
00:39:48.360 --> 00:39:51.160
And as we've kind of been saying for weeks for those

755
00:39:51.160 --> 00:39:53.960
that have been in the group, but for those that are brand new,

756
00:39:53.960 --> 00:39:55.800
this might be new information to you.

757
00:39:55.800 --> 00:39:59.280
But the more that you heal on the inside,

758
00:39:59.280 --> 00:40:01.080
the better.

759
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.880
chance you're going to attract someone healthy in the future.

760
00:40:02.880 --> 00:40:06.920
So that's why this heart work components and the things that we do here are so

761
00:40:06.920 --> 00:40:11.000
important because they're setting you guys up for success and acceleration in

762
00:40:11.000 --> 00:40:14.200
your, every relationship, including your love story.

763
00:40:14.440 --> 00:40:17.680
And so as you lean in, um, to.

764
00:40:18.240 --> 00:40:21.800
You know, Lord, why did I choose someone that abused me in that way?

765
00:40:21.860 --> 00:40:26.800
Was there things that I believed in my mind before I was, um, already in my, in

766
00:40:26.800 --> 00:40:30.680
those relationships that led me to feel like I had no voice?

767
00:40:31.000 --> 00:40:33.160
Was it just the way they lorded over us?

768
00:40:33.160 --> 00:40:36.800
Or was it also the way we postured ourselves in those relationships?

769
00:40:37.200 --> 00:40:40.840
You know, when we chose them now, I will say having gone through very abusive

770
00:40:41.160 --> 00:40:43.680
marriage, I can remember.

771
00:40:44.360 --> 00:40:48.000
One of my first dates with him, one of the first big dates.

772
00:40:48.000 --> 00:40:51.080
And we went to this, um, I wasn't saved at the time.

773
00:40:51.080 --> 00:40:54.360
And we went to this dance club and there were people that he knew there.

774
00:40:54.640 --> 00:40:59.000
And I can remember looking back now, things that he was saying or doing to try

775
00:40:59.000 --> 00:41:04.960
to cause me to be afraid, to be afraid of him and situations.

776
00:41:05.240 --> 00:41:08.480
And so I do know like there's a lot of mind games and control.

777
00:41:08.720 --> 00:41:13.240
And so we want to ask the Lord to unravel that stuff and that, that mind control

778
00:41:13.240 --> 00:41:16.280
and those games that we were under and that we went through.

779
00:41:16.560 --> 00:41:21.000
And again, asking God really great questions is one of the best ways to do

780
00:41:21.680 --> 00:41:25.760
and to trust that God will come in and love and heal and restore

781
00:41:25.760 --> 00:41:27.000
every one of those areas.

782
00:41:27.000 --> 00:41:27.800
Hi, Tanya.

783
00:41:28.160 --> 00:41:29.800
Did you get kicked out of your room?

784
00:41:33.720 --> 00:41:34.320
Not sure.

785
00:41:44.760 --> 00:41:45.200
All right.

786
00:41:45.200 --> 00:41:46.560
I'm just going to trust that.

787
00:41:46.640 --> 00:41:47.840
I don't know if you can hear me or not.

788
00:41:47.840 --> 00:41:51.880
It looks like you were in room six, but it shows not joined.

789
00:41:51.880 --> 00:41:56.360
So I'm not sure if you got kicked out or if you just had connection issues, but,

790
00:41:56.360 --> 00:42:00.920
um, that we would ask the Lord to come into those areas and, um, bring truth

791
00:42:00.920 --> 00:42:02.400
and bring, bring revelation.

792
00:42:02.640 --> 00:42:05.880
You know, are there any, um, what I'm hearing in my spirit is just like

793
00:42:05.880 --> 00:42:09.800
cobwebs that need cleaned up, you know, anything that the Lord wants to just

794
00:42:09.800 --> 00:42:15.600
come in and sweep and clean and make everything brand new and that we wouldn't,

795
00:42:15.640 --> 00:42:22.080
um, that we wouldn't walk in shame, you know, or condemnation or guilt from

796
00:42:22.080 --> 00:42:23.960
any of those things or situations.

797
00:42:23.960 --> 00:42:27.800
Again, we don't, we didn't know back then what we didn't know

798
00:42:27.800 --> 00:42:29.640
because we didn't know it.

799
00:42:29.640 --> 00:42:33.480
So right now we're coming in to new understanding and new revelations.

800
00:42:33.800 --> 00:42:38.320
And those can lead you guys into, um, just, just even who you

801
00:42:38.320 --> 00:42:39.640
consider and who you look at.

802
00:42:39.640 --> 00:42:42.520
And we don't look at people judgmentally, but we just say, yeah, you know what?

803
00:42:42.520 --> 00:42:43.960
That's not for me anymore.

804
00:42:44.200 --> 00:42:48.080
Or man, that guy is saying, you know, some hurtful and mean things to me.

805
00:42:48.400 --> 00:42:51.400
And, you know, maybe in the past I would have put up with that, but

806
00:42:51.400 --> 00:42:52.880
I know that I'm worth more now.

807
00:42:53.080 --> 00:42:54.440
Well, how do we know we're worth more?

808
00:42:54.440 --> 00:42:58.840
Well, we spend time with the Lord and we become more and more rooted and grounded

809
00:42:58.840 --> 00:43:04.440
in the love of Christ and who he says we are, and that's how we don't like shift

810
00:43:04.440 --> 00:43:08.560
and change so quickly when we go into relationships is because we know who we

811
00:43:08.560 --> 00:43:13.000
are, that's why a lot of ministers and, and leaders will talk about two whole

812
00:43:13.040 --> 00:43:18.160
people coming into a relationship is what can make it one, but, uh, two half

813
00:43:18.160 --> 00:43:22.520
people, uh, coming into a relationship does not make one.

814
00:43:22.760 --> 00:43:27.680
So you want to really lean into this time of preparation and healing and

815
00:43:27.680 --> 00:43:33.240
restoration and see what God wants to do in you and through you during this time.

816
00:43:34.480 --> 00:43:35.280
Hello.

817
00:43:35.320 --> 00:43:37.480
Hi, welcome back.

818
00:43:38.000 --> 00:43:38.360
Everybody.

819
00:43:38.360 --> 00:43:41.280
I'll start to come back here slowly in a little bit.

820
00:43:41.280 --> 00:43:42.600
I'll bring everybody back.

821
00:43:42.800 --> 00:43:46.240
So Don, I, uh, I was talking to Don on Facebook, Don, I hope that's helpful.

822
00:43:46.560 --> 00:43:49.840
Uh, and I hope that just encourages you that even in the ways that I went

823
00:43:49.840 --> 00:43:53.480
through some of that stuff, God has redeemed and restored, and I've

824
00:43:53.480 --> 00:43:56.000
definitely found somebody totally different.

825
00:43:56.240 --> 00:44:02.680
So caring, so amazing and respectful, even, uh, in intimacy.

826
00:44:02.680 --> 00:44:06.560
So you guys have that to look forward to when you choose someone that's healthy

827
00:44:06.960 --> 00:44:10.840
and being in community and letting us come alongside of you can be a huge

828
00:44:10.840 --> 00:44:15.440
part of, of finding that good, healthy spirit mate.

829
00:44:16.280 --> 00:44:17.080
All right.

830
00:44:17.240 --> 00:44:17.920
Welcome back.

831
00:44:17.920 --> 00:44:18.320
Welcome back.

832
00:44:18.320 --> 00:44:19.960
We have almost everybody here.

833
00:44:19.960 --> 00:44:21.560
Just a few more seconds.

834
00:44:24.080 --> 00:44:25.040
Just easier to wait.

835
00:44:25.040 --> 00:44:25.800
Yeah, there we go.

836
00:44:25.960 --> 00:44:27.040
Everybody's back.

837
00:44:27.480 --> 00:44:28.000
Awesome.

838
00:44:28.000 --> 00:44:28.760
Welcome back.

839
00:44:29.120 --> 00:44:29.640
All right.

840
00:44:30.160 --> 00:44:33.120
Some of y'all had some connection issues, I think, so hopefully it'll

841
00:44:33.120 --> 00:44:35.680
work better for you the next time around.

842
00:44:36.400 --> 00:44:40.000
If you are unmuted, if y'all can grab that real quick, I'll try to

843
00:44:40.120 --> 00:44:42.520
mute anybody that I see.

844
00:44:43.840 --> 00:44:44.320
All right.

845
00:44:44.560 --> 00:44:45.960
So this is how we do it.

846
00:44:45.960 --> 00:44:50.200
If this is your first time here, um, what we do when we come back together

847
00:44:50.200 --> 00:44:54.680
in the group is we give you an opportunity to share with the whole group.

848
00:44:55.240 --> 00:44:57.480
What you shared in your private breakout group.

849
00:44:57.920 --> 00:44:59.920
And typically, um, the.

850
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.880
First time around, we have people that are really nervous,

851
00:45:02.880 --> 00:45:04.920
but as soon as someone starts talking,

852
00:45:04.920 --> 00:45:06.880
it tends to flow really well.

853
00:45:06.880 --> 00:45:10.200
And then typically I also have where a bunch of people,

854
00:45:10.200 --> 00:45:11.500
we might have one or two share,

855
00:45:11.500 --> 00:45:14.360
and then when it's about time for me to move on,

856
00:45:14.360 --> 00:45:15.200
then a bunch more people.

857
00:45:15.200 --> 00:45:18.320
So it's just good to go ahead and jump in right now.

858
00:45:18.320 --> 00:45:20.060
Is there anyone that wants to share tonight

859
00:45:20.060 --> 00:45:22.740
or is willing to share with the group?

860
00:45:23.760 --> 00:45:25.520
All right, Lucy, awesome, go ahead.

861
00:45:26.520 --> 00:45:28.680
Thanks, Bethany.

862
00:45:28.680 --> 00:45:30.120
So what came up for me,

863
00:45:30.120 --> 00:45:32.400
and I can sense it doesn't feel good in my stomach,

864
00:45:32.400 --> 00:45:33.880
but I'm not sure quite where to take it.

865
00:45:33.880 --> 00:45:35.280
I was just telling the gals.

866
00:45:36.440 --> 00:45:38.220
I've never thought I had an issue with that word,

867
00:45:38.220 --> 00:45:40.160
but the last guy I was dating,

868
00:45:40.160 --> 00:45:42.860
when he talked to me about his former partner,

869
00:45:43.780 --> 00:45:47.480
he said, oh yeah, well, she was pretty good at submissing.

870
00:45:47.480 --> 00:45:50.440
And it just turned my stomach in that moment

871
00:45:50.440 --> 00:45:52.560
to think that she had been rated

872
00:45:52.560 --> 00:45:54.920
and I would be rated over how good I was

873
00:45:55.280 --> 00:45:59.080
at being mouse-like or quote, submissive.

874
00:45:59.080 --> 00:46:00.720
So it just turns my stomach

875
00:46:00.720 --> 00:46:04.600
and I'm not sure what to do with that.

876
00:46:04.600 --> 00:46:06.840
Yeah, so the first thing I'll say

877
00:46:06.840 --> 00:46:09.000
is just when you guys are,

878
00:46:09.000 --> 00:46:10.840
right now, for those of you that are in hard work,

879
00:46:10.840 --> 00:46:11.680
if you don't know this,

880
00:46:11.680 --> 00:46:15.280
we want you to take a dating sabbatical for five weeks.

881
00:46:15.280 --> 00:46:17.440
But for those of you that are getting ready

882
00:46:17.440 --> 00:46:20.580
to go into phase two, when that opens back up,

883
00:46:22.160 --> 00:46:23.960
if you're ever in that situation again,

884
00:46:24.000 --> 00:46:26.680
I would ask them, what is your view of submission?

885
00:46:26.680 --> 00:46:27.560
I think it's important.

886
00:46:27.560 --> 00:46:29.640
If they bring that up and they open the door,

887
00:46:29.640 --> 00:46:31.240
just see what they say.

888
00:46:31.240 --> 00:46:33.120
And then you're gonna know more.

889
00:46:33.120 --> 00:46:35.120
I mean, typically if they're coming out of the gate

890
00:46:35.120 --> 00:46:37.840
with that pretty soon, like early on,

891
00:46:37.840 --> 00:46:39.700
it's probably not from a healthy place,

892
00:46:39.700 --> 00:46:41.060
but we don't ever wanna assume.

893
00:46:41.060 --> 00:46:42.620
So let's get more information.

894
00:46:42.620 --> 00:46:45.180
Let's find out kind of what their vantage point

895
00:46:45.180 --> 00:46:46.640
and their viewpoint is.

896
00:46:46.640 --> 00:46:51.640
But yeah, I think I would encourage you to ask yourself,

897
00:46:51.720 --> 00:46:54.040
not only with that guy, like ask the Lord,

898
00:46:54.040 --> 00:46:55.560
like, Lord, why did that bother me

899
00:46:55.560 --> 00:46:57.600
that that guy said that to me?

900
00:46:57.600 --> 00:47:00.600
And number two, is it linked to anything else

901
00:47:00.600 --> 00:47:03.440
I've ever been through where I felt,

902
00:47:03.440 --> 00:47:05.960
cause what you said is mouse-like.

903
00:47:05.960 --> 00:47:07.880
And I thought that was so interesting

904
00:47:07.880 --> 00:47:10.520
because is that what he was conveying to you?

905
00:47:10.520 --> 00:47:13.080
Like he just wanted you to always listen

906
00:47:13.080 --> 00:47:15.240
and be mute and never speak?

907
00:47:15.240 --> 00:47:19.720
Or was that your interpretation of submission, right?

908
00:47:19.720 --> 00:47:22.320
And so that's where we can kind of listen to ourselves

909
00:47:22.320 --> 00:47:24.440
and listen to what's coming up in our spirits.

910
00:47:24.440 --> 00:47:26.120
Like, what do we think about submission?

911
00:47:26.120 --> 00:47:28.520
And then Lord, where did this come from?

912
00:47:29.440 --> 00:47:31.120
Again, it could be that situation,

913
00:47:31.120 --> 00:47:34.600
but my guess is that it's somewhere along the way,

914
00:47:34.600 --> 00:47:37.960
you were told, maybe this isn't the one,

915
00:47:37.960 --> 00:47:39.520
but this is what comes up in my spirit.

916
00:47:39.520 --> 00:47:41.080
Like a lot of people are told,

917
00:47:41.080 --> 00:47:42.840
just get over there and sit and be quiet.

918
00:47:42.840 --> 00:47:46.200
Like we don't wanna hear, like sometimes even parents,

919
00:47:46.200 --> 00:47:48.600
and they don't always mean bad.

920
00:47:48.600 --> 00:47:51.280
Sometimes people do because they're not healthy,

921
00:47:51.280 --> 00:47:53.480
but sometimes parents are trying to like,

922
00:47:53.480 --> 00:47:54.320
and they'll be like,

923
00:47:54.320 --> 00:47:55.560
just get over there and sit and be quiet.

924
00:47:55.560 --> 00:47:57.200
Like, I need you to just be quiet.

925
00:47:57.200 --> 00:48:00.720
And kids can interpret that all kinds of ways.

926
00:48:00.720 --> 00:48:04.600
Now, if that's done in a very abusive and neglectful way,

927
00:48:04.600 --> 00:48:09.160
man, that can cause that mindset of mouse-like.

928
00:48:09.160 --> 00:48:12.640
Like what is, and again, maybe I'll let you answer.

929
00:48:12.640 --> 00:48:14.120
I think this will be good for everyone.

930
00:48:14.120 --> 00:48:15.440
What is mouse-like?

931
00:48:15.440 --> 00:48:17.760
When you say that, what does that mean to you?

932
00:48:18.720 --> 00:48:22.320
Um, like not having a voice.

933
00:48:25.520 --> 00:48:29.040
I remember like my dad used to not like to hear

934
00:48:29.040 --> 00:48:33.720
whatever his girlfriend or wife would say.

935
00:48:33.720 --> 00:48:36.720
And I remember feeling kind of similar that, yeah,

936
00:48:39.920 --> 00:48:44.920
that it wasn't okay to talk back or have an opinion.

937
00:48:45.240 --> 00:48:47.840
Okay. So I think we're onto something here.

938
00:48:47.840 --> 00:48:49.280
The other thing that's coming up too,

939
00:48:49.280 --> 00:48:51.280
and I don't know if this would resonate with you.

940
00:48:51.280 --> 00:48:53.920
If you guys think about a mouse and I, you know,

941
00:48:53.920 --> 00:48:55.240
I don't even know if this is really real,

942
00:48:55.240 --> 00:48:57.080
but this is how the movies portray it, right?

943
00:48:57.080 --> 00:48:59.040
So this is what comes up in my spirit.

944
00:49:00.040 --> 00:49:03.800
Like they run and they hide in these little holes.

945
00:49:03.800 --> 00:49:06.120
They're like the unseen, right?

946
00:49:06.120 --> 00:49:09.360
They're there, but you don't see them

947
00:49:09.360 --> 00:49:11.720
until it's nighttime and it's safe to come out,

948
00:49:11.720 --> 00:49:13.120
so to speak, right?

949
00:49:13.120 --> 00:49:15.320
And so it just kind of leads me to also wonder

950
00:49:15.320 --> 00:49:18.240
if at times you felt like you just needed

951
00:49:18.240 --> 00:49:19.880
to be in the background

952
00:49:19.880 --> 00:49:22.400
and it wasn't always safe to come out.

953
00:49:25.000 --> 00:49:27.000
Yeah, I feel the Holy spirit on that one.

954
00:49:28.320 --> 00:49:30.640
And I'm so sorry that that's how you felt at times,

955
00:49:30.640 --> 00:49:31.920
but God wants you to, man,

956
00:49:31.920 --> 00:49:34.480
he's going to open wide open space to you, Lucy.

957
00:49:34.480 --> 00:49:37.280
And he's going to provide a space for you

958
00:49:37.280 --> 00:49:39.640
with a spirit mate where you can come out

959
00:49:39.640 --> 00:49:41.640
and you can be fully seen and fully heard

960
00:49:41.640 --> 00:49:43.560
and fully loved and appreciated.

961
00:49:43.560 --> 00:49:47.080
Even if your spirit mate doesn't like your opinion,

962
00:49:47.080 --> 00:49:48.480
y'all, this can really happen.

963
00:49:48.480 --> 00:49:50.760
You can learn how to be in relationship

964
00:49:50.760 --> 00:49:52.520
and not always agree.

965
00:49:52.520 --> 00:49:55.960
You can agree to disagree in a loving way, right?

966
00:49:55.960 --> 00:49:57.000
Man, God is so good.

967
00:49:57.000 --> 00:49:58.280
Thank you for sharing, Lucy.

968
00:49:58.280 --> 00:49:59.880
I think you're so good.

969
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.780
God wants to do some, some really important healing work this week in that area.

970
00:50:03.780 --> 00:50:07.760
So I encourage you to, I encourage you to invite him to come into that stuff with

971
00:50:07.760 --> 00:50:12.200
your dad and just the growing up and anything else that kind of might come up

972
00:50:12.200 --> 00:50:15.000
with this, uh, in the, in the next few days.

973
00:50:15.020 --> 00:50:15.400
Yeah.

974
00:50:16.560 --> 00:50:16.960
Yes.

975
00:50:16.960 --> 00:50:17.680
Yes.

976
00:50:18.200 --> 00:50:19.580
Father, thank you for healing Lucy.

977
00:50:19.580 --> 00:50:21.640
Thank you for healing these situations, Lord.

978
00:50:21.640 --> 00:50:25.040
I thank you that you're going to give her her voice back and you're going to

979
00:50:25.040 --> 00:50:28.920
tell her how important her voice actually is to your kingdom, because I believe

980
00:50:28.920 --> 00:50:33.320
Lord, you want to use her for some really big things in the future, using

981
00:50:33.320 --> 00:50:39.060
her voice and being seen and heard and known and loved fully, fully, fully,

982
00:50:39.060 --> 00:50:41.760
fully, Lord, we just thank you for it in advance.

983
00:50:43.320 --> 00:50:44.000
Yeah.

984
00:50:44.880 --> 00:50:45.120
Yeah.

985
00:50:45.120 --> 00:50:49.000
Anyone else feeling like your voice, like you were never, I want the three ladies.

986
00:50:49.000 --> 00:50:49.740
I see your hands.

987
00:50:49.740 --> 00:50:50.600
Don't go anywhere.

988
00:50:50.880 --> 00:50:53.220
You don't have to raise your digital hands, but I just want to start to see it

989
00:50:53.220 --> 00:50:57.600
in the chat, anyone else ever feel like you just didn't have a voice or that

990
00:50:57.600 --> 00:51:02.320
people try to squash your voice, your opinion, or we're just going to go here

991
00:51:02.320 --> 00:51:05.320
for a little bit, let me see you.

992
00:51:05.320 --> 00:51:06.040
Let me see you.

993
00:51:09.560 --> 00:51:10.080
Oh my goodness.

994
00:51:10.080 --> 00:51:11.760
Crystal church for speaking.

995
00:51:11.760 --> 00:51:12.400
Literally.

996
00:51:12.480 --> 00:51:15.120
Were you literally like the physically someone did that to you?

997
00:51:17.400 --> 00:51:17.900
Okay.

998
00:51:18.600 --> 00:51:22.720
Well, we just thank you for all of these ladies right now, Crystal and every

999
00:51:22.720 --> 00:51:24.640
other lady that I can't even read their names.

1000
00:51:24.640 --> 00:51:26.480
It's coming so quick and fast.

1001
00:51:26.840 --> 00:51:30.120
Lord, we just thank you for the voices of your daughters.

1002
00:51:31.800 --> 00:51:35.280
God, I pray tonight that you'll just show them how much their voice matters to you,

1003
00:51:35.280 --> 00:51:40.160
that you would just, um, even some of them literally that were, they were

1004
00:51:40.160 --> 00:51:43.080
literally choked for expressing their voice.

1005
00:51:43.080 --> 00:51:45.720
Lord, I pray that you would bring healing to those situations.

1006
00:51:46.280 --> 00:51:49.280
God, that you were released forgiveness and reconciliation

1007
00:51:49.280 --> 00:51:51.380
and peace to those places.

1008
00:51:51.380 --> 00:51:54.120
Lord, I thank you that you would just ignite their voice for you.

1009
00:51:54.120 --> 00:51:58.320
Not in a, an, an overbearing way, but God, that you would anoint their voice

1010
00:51:58.320 --> 00:52:03.080
with, with grace, with truth, with life, with hope, God, that they would be

1011
00:52:03.080 --> 00:52:06.360
bondage breakers, they would be kinsmen, redeemers in their families.

1012
00:52:06.360 --> 00:52:10.080
And that the things that they say, God would bring life and hope

1013
00:52:10.080 --> 00:52:12.320
and truth everywhere that they go.

1014
00:52:12.720 --> 00:52:16.960
And Lord, we thank you for your hand upon them in every one of these situations.

1015
00:52:16.960 --> 00:52:18.520
Lord, we thank you that you heal.

1016
00:52:18.520 --> 00:52:21.800
Even the things that we don't even know and can't think of right now that there

1017
00:52:21.800 --> 00:52:23.480
needs to be healing regarding our voices.

1018
00:52:23.480 --> 00:52:28.360
I also just thank you, Lord, for healing physical issues that are, that have

1019
00:52:28.360 --> 00:52:32.520
happened over the years and people's throats and we just thank you that you

1020
00:52:32.880 --> 00:52:38.000
just come in and bring physical healing to vocal cords, to anything related to

1021
00:52:38.000 --> 00:52:39.720
the neck, any neck injuries, God.

1022
00:52:39.720 --> 00:52:43.480
And we just thank you for healing and release in Jesus name.

1023
00:52:44.000 --> 00:52:44.880
All right.

1024
00:52:45.120 --> 00:52:47.180
God is doing something really cool tonight.

1025
00:52:47.180 --> 00:52:48.240
You all Leah.

1026
00:52:48.320 --> 00:52:49.440
Is that how you say your name?

1027
00:52:49.440 --> 00:52:49.920
Leah?

1028
00:52:50.120 --> 00:52:50.600
Is it Lee?

1029
00:52:51.200 --> 00:52:51.720
Yes.

1030
00:52:51.920 --> 00:52:52.520
Sorry.

1031
00:52:52.840 --> 00:52:53.720
That was right.

1032
00:52:54.480 --> 00:52:55.040
That's correct.

1033
00:52:55.040 --> 00:52:55.540
Sorry.

1034
00:52:55.840 --> 00:52:56.840
That was really powerful.

1035
00:52:56.840 --> 00:53:00.160
I just want to say comment really quick that really struck me.

1036
00:53:00.160 --> 00:53:05.000
I'm a singer and I've had like issues singing lately.

1037
00:53:05.840 --> 00:53:09.560
So as you were praying and Lucy, thank you for sharing.

1038
00:53:09.560 --> 00:53:10.600
That was really beautiful.

1039
00:53:11.240 --> 00:53:15.080
I just feel like there's something that I didn't expect for the Lord

1040
00:53:15.080 --> 00:53:16.680
to just minister to me then.

1041
00:53:16.800 --> 00:53:20.680
Um, but yeah, so I just wanted to share.

1042
00:53:20.960 --> 00:53:27.920
Um, mine was actually trusting God because I was raised in a big family,

1043
00:53:27.920 --> 00:53:33.280
oldest of a big family, um, in charge to run the ship essentially.

1044
00:53:33.280 --> 00:53:37.480
And I didn't have an opinion that was worth being said.

1045
00:53:37.480 --> 00:53:42.600
And so I just have always kind of lived under the guise of, well, if I don't

1046
00:53:42.600 --> 00:53:46.360
figure it out, no one else is going to, and I don't want to bother God.

1047
00:53:46.360 --> 00:53:49.560
And, or if I do bother him, sorry, it's a big ask.

1048
00:53:49.560 --> 00:53:52.680
And, um, Oh my goodness.

1049
00:53:52.680 --> 00:53:57.160
So for me, um, with the areas of my dreams and just where I'm gifted in.

1050
00:53:57.800 --> 00:54:02.160
And especially with romantic love, it's been like, well, a better hustle

1051
00:54:02.160 --> 00:54:03.600
and grind to figure it out.

1052
00:54:04.080 --> 00:54:08.880
And very much like, uh, get your armor on and get on that battlefield and not

1053
00:54:08.880 --> 00:54:13.320
like the way that I am designed, which is, I don't know, I'm way more

1054
00:54:13.320 --> 00:54:15.960
soft and feminine deep down.

1055
00:54:16.200 --> 00:54:20.440
And so anyway, I don't even know where this is turning into, but for me, I just

1056
00:54:20.440 --> 00:54:22.840
wanted to voice the trusting in God.

1057
00:54:22.840 --> 00:54:28.280
And I want to just put a stake in the ground tonight to really open up my

1058
00:54:28.280 --> 00:54:32.080
life to surrender my life to him.

1059
00:54:32.120 --> 00:54:38.040
Trust in him that he really does have the plan and he hasn't forgotten me.

1060
00:54:39.480 --> 00:54:42.000
So, yeah, that's what I wanted to share.

1061
00:54:42.400 --> 00:54:44.400
Thank you so much for sharing.

1062
00:54:44.400 --> 00:54:45.280
And we're going to be praying.

1063
00:54:45.280 --> 00:54:46.720
I see some ladies in the chat.

1064
00:54:46.720 --> 00:54:48.040
They're kind of encouraging you.

1065
00:54:48.040 --> 00:54:51.400
They're going to be praying for your, your singing and your throat.

1066
00:54:51.400 --> 00:54:53.200
And we're going to be praying as a community for that.

1067
00:54:53.200 --> 00:54:55.520
And for anyone else that needs us, I'll Tanya made a comment.

1068
00:54:56.280 --> 00:54:58.880
Y'all I've never stopped and prayed for people physically during

1069
00:54:58.880 --> 00:55:00.040
heartwork, hardly ever.

1070
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.740
just because I try to stay right in the lane,

1071
00:55:02.740 --> 00:55:05.480
but that was the Lord for sure.

1072
00:55:05.480 --> 00:55:07.960
When you said that you don't want to bother God,

1073
00:55:07.960 --> 00:55:09.900
that really stood out to me.

1074
00:55:09.900 --> 00:55:12.620
And so I want to just encourage you or anyone else

1075
00:55:12.620 --> 00:55:15.460
that if you ever have thoughts like this,

1076
00:55:15.460 --> 00:55:18.260
just from my experience, it tends to be when we think

1077
00:55:18.260 --> 00:55:21.100
or we're afraid that we're going to bother our parents

1078
00:55:21.100 --> 00:55:22.860
or some kind of like a teacher

1079
00:55:22.860 --> 00:55:27.060
or someone that has had authority over us in the past.

1080
00:55:27.060 --> 00:55:29.820
And we are afraid to then approach God

1081
00:55:29.820 --> 00:55:32.860
because we, whatever we experience in the physical

1082
00:55:32.860 --> 00:55:35.780
with people that are supposed to take care of us,

1083
00:55:35.780 --> 00:55:40.100
we then put onto God that he is the same as them.

1084
00:55:40.100 --> 00:55:43.100
But here's the thing,

1085
00:55:43.100 --> 00:55:48.020
God's like chair, if you will, is always open.

1086
00:55:48.020 --> 00:55:49.140
Like I always like to picture,

1087
00:55:49.140 --> 00:55:51.700
this is just my own, like the way that it helps me.

1088
00:55:51.700 --> 00:55:54.500
God is sitting there and he's got this chair pulled out

1089
00:55:54.500 --> 00:55:55.340
right next to them.

1090
00:55:55.340 --> 00:55:57.020
Some of the ladies have heard me talk about this.

1091
00:55:57.020 --> 00:55:58.820
It's just this beautiful picture.

1092
00:55:58.820 --> 00:56:01.340
I just imagine like, he just loves to talk to me

1093
00:56:01.340 --> 00:56:02.660
and he loves to talk to you.

1094
00:56:02.660 --> 00:56:04.180
And he's got this chair pulled out

1095
00:56:04.180 --> 00:56:06.300
where you can just come up and sit.

1096
00:56:06.300 --> 00:56:07.140
And for those of you,

1097
00:56:07.140 --> 00:56:10.260
the reason that that ministers to me a lot is way back,

1098
00:56:10.260 --> 00:56:13.140
I used to really struggle with the idea.

1099
00:56:13.140 --> 00:56:15.300
Now my grandpa, I felt safe to come,

1100
00:56:15.300 --> 00:56:16.620
like go and sit on his lap,

1101
00:56:16.620 --> 00:56:19.580
but I didn't necessarily feel safe to sit on guys' laps.

1102
00:56:19.580 --> 00:56:21.900
And in my head, I'm like, that might, you know,

1103
00:56:21.900 --> 00:56:26.900
until I learned that when there's genuine, true,

1104
00:56:27.020 --> 00:56:30.660
pure, innocent love from God, the father,

1105
00:56:30.660 --> 00:56:35.340
there's no, there's nothing creepy about it, you all.

1106
00:56:35.340 --> 00:56:37.060
There's nothing creepy about it.

1107
00:56:37.060 --> 00:56:39.700
So for whatever it's worth, that's what I thought.

1108
00:56:39.700 --> 00:56:41.980
And like the chair being pulled out for you, Leah,

1109
00:56:41.980 --> 00:56:44.140
like you're never a bother to him.

1110
00:56:44.140 --> 00:56:46.180
Anyone else that this is ministering to you,

1111
00:56:46.180 --> 00:56:49.820
like he literally looks forward to hearing from us, you all.

1112
00:56:49.820 --> 00:56:52.020
He wants to know what's on our hearts,

1113
00:56:52.020 --> 00:56:53.900
even though he might already know the thoughts

1114
00:56:53.900 --> 00:56:55.060
because the word says he does.

1115
00:56:55.060 --> 00:56:56.100
He already knows our thoughts.

1116
00:56:56.100 --> 00:56:57.300
He knows what we're going to do.

1117
00:56:57.300 --> 00:56:59.260
But the fact that again, we have free will

1118
00:56:59.260 --> 00:57:01.940
and we can choose to be in relationship with him,

1119
00:57:01.940 --> 00:57:04.220
man, he loves that time.

1120
00:57:04.220 --> 00:57:07.580
So he's never tired of hearing from you

1121
00:57:07.580 --> 00:57:10.220
and he wants to hear your heart and you're never a bother.

1122
00:57:10.220 --> 00:57:12.700
So I would encourage you to ask the Lord,

1123
00:57:12.700 --> 00:57:15.420
like when's the first time I felt like

1124
00:57:16.380 --> 00:57:18.460
I was a bother to somebody?

1125
00:57:19.900 --> 00:57:21.980
And who was that person?

1126
00:57:21.980 --> 00:57:23.700
And Lord, how do you want to bring truth

1127
00:57:23.700 --> 00:57:25.460
and healing to that situation?

1128
00:57:26.740 --> 00:57:28.020
You know, was it something they said?

1129
00:57:28.020 --> 00:57:29.380
Was it something they did?

1130
00:57:29.380 --> 00:57:32.420
And how does God want to heal that situation?

1131
00:57:32.420 --> 00:57:33.260
Okay.

1132
00:57:35.420 --> 00:57:36.260
Let's see here.

1133
00:57:36.260 --> 00:57:37.380
I'm going to see if I get it right.

1134
00:57:37.380 --> 00:57:39.940
Is it Kritika, am I right?

1135
00:57:39.940 --> 00:57:41.060
Did I do it?

1136
00:57:41.060 --> 00:57:42.780
Yes, it's Kritika.

1137
00:57:42.780 --> 00:57:44.540
That's so great.

1138
00:57:44.540 --> 00:57:48.620
Yeah, so in the group, I did mention that,

1139
00:57:49.500 --> 00:57:52.060
like I don't have any negative annotations

1140
00:57:52.060 --> 00:57:54.980
with the word surrender, but when Lucy talked,

1141
00:57:55.940 --> 00:57:58.580
I don't know, it just did something in my solar plexus.

1142
00:57:58.580 --> 00:58:01.020
It just started vibrating and got very heated

1143
00:58:01.020 --> 00:58:02.620
and it made me all teary.

1144
00:58:02.620 --> 00:58:04.180
So I don't know whether God is trying

1145
00:58:04.180 --> 00:58:05.220
to show me something there.

1146
00:58:05.220 --> 00:58:07.420
I'll try to focus on that.

1147
00:58:07.420 --> 00:58:10.580
But what else I shared is,

1148
00:58:10.580 --> 00:58:13.940
I know like God has shown over and over again

1149
00:58:13.940 --> 00:58:16.100
that he's there with me

1150
00:58:16.100 --> 00:58:18.180
and like so many things have happened,

1151
00:58:18.180 --> 00:58:21.580
but it still feels that sometimes I'm all in.

1152
00:58:22.420 --> 00:58:24.380
I am like, yes, it is working and everything,

1153
00:58:24.380 --> 00:58:28.860
but a lot of times I'm like, does God even exist?

1154
00:58:28.860 --> 00:58:32.220
Sometimes I have such a hard time believing that he exists,

1155
00:58:32.220 --> 00:58:34.620
like especially like where there are so many things

1156
00:58:34.620 --> 00:58:37.380
happening in the world and even around me,

1157
00:58:37.380 --> 00:58:41.460
even to me and like to my family and loved ones.

1158
00:58:41.460 --> 00:58:45.340
And I'm like, do you not even see like what is happening?

1159
00:58:45.340 --> 00:58:48.260
And sometimes even when I have faith in God,

1160
00:58:48.260 --> 00:58:51.020
I just feel like, okay, why have you gone silent

1161
00:58:51.020 --> 00:58:52.060
all of a sudden?

1162
00:58:52.060 --> 00:58:54.180
Like sometimes I receive so many messages

1163
00:58:54.980 --> 00:58:56.180
and sometimes like nothing, nothing at all.

1164
00:58:56.180 --> 00:58:57.620
And I'm screaming at God.

1165
00:58:57.620 --> 00:58:59.100
And sometimes I'm like,

1166
00:58:59.100 --> 00:59:00.460
if you could just come in front of me,

1167
00:59:00.460 --> 00:59:01.940
I would like shake you and ask you,

1168
00:59:01.940 --> 00:59:03.340
what do you want me to do?

1169
00:59:03.340 --> 00:59:05.620
Like say something.

1170
00:59:05.620 --> 00:59:07.380
So, yes.

1171
00:59:07.380 --> 00:59:10.380
And hey, I just wanna say first and foremost,

1172
00:59:10.380 --> 00:59:13.620
I think a lot of us struggle with like those kind of back

1173
00:59:13.620 --> 00:59:16.340
and forth, like, you know, God, you know,

1174
00:59:16.340 --> 00:59:19.180
the why gods and all of that.

1175
00:59:19.180 --> 00:59:21.540
So I just want you to know you're in good company.

1176
00:59:21.540 --> 00:59:23.620
I think a lot of people kind of go back and forth

1177
00:59:24.020 --> 00:59:24.860
and those things.

1178
00:59:24.860 --> 00:59:27.940
But what I can say is that even myself,

1179
00:59:27.940 --> 00:59:29.660
there are times where I'm praying

1180
00:59:29.660 --> 00:59:31.140
or I'm going through situations

1181
00:59:31.140 --> 00:59:36.140
and I don't feel like God is talking the same way.

1182
00:59:36.580 --> 00:59:37.700
And see, I think that's the thing.

1183
00:59:37.700 --> 00:59:40.500
Sometimes we get stuck that God has to speak back to us

1184
00:59:40.500 --> 00:59:42.060
in the same way all the time.

1185
00:59:42.060 --> 00:59:45.940
And sometimes he shifts and he's still talking,

1186
00:59:45.940 --> 00:59:49.420
but maybe we're not recognizing that it's him.

1187
00:59:49.420 --> 00:59:50.740
So for example, I'm just,

1188
00:59:50.780 --> 00:59:52.740
and I'm not saying this has to be what's happens

1189
00:59:52.740 --> 00:59:55.380
in your life, but I went through a season

1190
00:59:55.380 --> 00:59:57.500
where I felt like, you know, I wasn't hearing God a lot.

1191
00:59:57.500 --> 00:59:58.900
And then, and this is way back

1192
00:59:58.900 --> 01:00:00.900
at when I was living still in Lexington.

1193
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.840
And I was going for walks, I start going for walks every day, and I just started seeing

1194
01:00:06.840 --> 01:00:08.640
these numbers standing out to me.

1195
01:00:08.640 --> 01:00:13.040
And I mean, like, and not creepy numerology stuff, you all, but literally, like, it was

1196
01:00:13.040 --> 01:00:19.400
like, it was kind of like, Oh, that I noticed that number, but I don't know why that's I'm

1197
01:00:19.400 --> 01:00:20.520
noticing that.

1198
01:00:20.520 --> 01:00:23.800
And I just started praying and asking God to show me what he was trying to show me.

1199
01:00:23.800 --> 01:00:30.180
Y'all, he would use house numbers to lead me to a scripture to say something to me.

1200
01:00:30.180 --> 01:00:37.440
You know, and so sometimes it just, it just depends on like, do we, are we open to seeing

1201
01:00:37.440 --> 01:00:42.080
and hearing in a new way, you know, and it's not that God's trying to play a trick on us.

1202
01:00:42.080 --> 01:00:47.360
It's just that he's trying to teach us a new, a new way to hear him and, and to go deeper

1203
01:00:47.360 --> 01:00:48.360
in the relationship.

1204
01:00:48.360 --> 01:00:51.180
And sometimes he is silent.

1205
01:00:51.180 --> 01:00:55.920
He is, but it's not because he's trying to be mean to us or withhold from us.

1206
01:00:55.920 --> 01:00:58.320
Sometimes it's just, you know, that we're growing in faith.

1207
01:00:58.320 --> 01:00:59.520
We're growing in perseverance.

1208
01:00:59.520 --> 01:01:05.920
We're growing in, but I think a lot of times for me, when I feel like God is silent, it's

1209
01:01:05.920 --> 01:01:09.560
typically because I haven't unplugged enough.

1210
01:01:09.560 --> 01:01:13.320
You know, we're on our, our social media, we're on our phones, we're on our devices,

1211
01:01:13.320 --> 01:01:14.320
the TV's on.

1212
01:01:14.320 --> 01:01:17.000
I literally was just talking to my husband about this last night.

1213
01:01:17.000 --> 01:01:23.080
You know, we're not in nature as much or whatever way, like for you, I would, I would

1214
01:01:23.080 --> 01:01:29.320
encourage you, what is the way you connect with God the most and go do more of that?

1215
01:01:29.320 --> 01:01:33.920
Because sometimes literally, like I can feel like I'm not hearing God and I can go out

1216
01:01:33.920 --> 01:01:40.620
in nature and it's like, oh my God, I feel so connected because I, I feel like I am connected

1217
01:01:40.620 --> 01:01:42.880
and closer to God when I'm in nature.

1218
01:01:42.880 --> 01:01:45.440
That's that's one of mine.

1219
01:01:45.440 --> 01:01:46.960
God speaks to me a lot through music.

1220
01:01:46.960 --> 01:01:53.120
So it's like, what, what way does God speak to you and how does he want to talk to you

1221
01:01:53.120 --> 01:01:54.680
in the days ahead?

1222
01:01:54.680 --> 01:01:58.840
You know, on the, the things in the world, I wish I had time to go into that tonight,

1223
01:01:58.840 --> 01:02:00.560
but it is important.

1224
01:02:00.560 --> 01:02:06.960
I will say that man has free will always, man always has free will and man is given

1225
01:02:06.960 --> 01:02:07.960
all of us.

1226
01:02:07.960 --> 01:02:14.480
We're all given free will out of God's love for us because he doesn't force anything on

1227
01:02:14.520 --> 01:02:15.520
us.

1228
01:02:15.520 --> 01:02:21.840
And so unfortunately man in the world that's unhealthy, make bad decisions that lead to

1229
01:02:21.840 --> 01:02:23.720
destruction you all.

1230
01:02:23.720 --> 01:02:27.720
And some of it is, you know, you know, the stuff in the world, that's the hurricanes

1231
01:02:27.720 --> 01:02:32.720
and the floods and all that, but y'all that a lot of that is also happening because of

1232
01:02:32.720 --> 01:02:36.720
the things that man is doing, that's leading to destruction in the earth.

1233
01:02:36.720 --> 01:02:40.640
So we'll leave that there for tonight, but I just felt like it was important to at least

1234
01:02:40.640 --> 01:02:42.240
mention it.

1235
01:02:42.240 --> 01:02:50.480
But God is working and you know, maybe even soak in some scriptures on you know, who God

1236
01:02:50.480 --> 01:02:55.240
is, because the more that we know who God is, the more we don't feel like he leaves

1237
01:02:55.240 --> 01:02:57.520
us in the midst of things.

1238
01:02:57.520 --> 01:02:58.520
So no shame in any of that.

1239
01:02:58.520 --> 01:03:02.520
I'm so glad you shared it because seriously, a lot of people struggle with those kinds

1240
01:03:02.520 --> 01:03:07.680
of things and he knows you're all in and he's all in with you too.

1241
01:03:07.680 --> 01:03:08.680
I promise.

1242
01:03:08.680 --> 01:03:09.680
I promise.

1243
01:03:09.680 --> 01:03:12.720
And I think he's going to show you more of that in the days ahead.

1244
01:03:12.720 --> 01:03:14.760
He's all in with you too.

1245
01:03:14.760 --> 01:03:15.760
Yeah.

1246
01:03:15.760 --> 01:03:18.760
Chris, Crystal, go ahead.

1247
01:03:18.760 --> 01:03:20.760
Oh, sorry.

1248
01:03:20.760 --> 01:03:26.240
I don't hear you got to unmute.

1249
01:03:26.240 --> 01:03:27.240
That's all right.

1250
01:03:27.240 --> 01:03:28.240
That's all right.

1251
01:03:28.240 --> 01:03:29.240
My first time speaking.

1252
01:03:29.240 --> 01:03:35.640
So this is new, but mine was trusting God's timing.

1253
01:03:35.640 --> 01:03:42.160
I know, you know, everything happens in God's timing, but sometimes I feel like if I don't

1254
01:03:42.160 --> 01:03:50.400
hear from God, like I'll just take control and answer it myself, you know, whatever I'm

1255
01:03:50.400 --> 01:03:51.400
asking him.

1256
01:03:51.400 --> 01:03:56.240
So I'll reply to a text when I probably shouldn't have, and it's not always a bad thing that

1257
01:03:56.240 --> 01:03:58.920
I do, but sometimes it is, you know?

1258
01:03:58.920 --> 01:04:05.800
So it's like, I know it's always, especially if I'm like a spirit mate, you know, it's

1259
01:04:05.800 --> 01:04:11.120
like, I trust his timing, what he's, that he has a plan for me, but what is that time?

1260
01:04:11.120 --> 01:04:12.120
You know?

1261
01:04:12.120 --> 01:04:16.040
So that, and there was another member in my group that kind of felt the same way.

1262
01:04:16.040 --> 01:04:21.840
And like, I'm, I know I'm a controlling person, so it's hard releasing that control to God,

1263
01:04:21.840 --> 01:04:22.840
you know?

1264
01:04:22.840 --> 01:04:24.040
I'll give it to him and take it back.

1265
01:04:24.040 --> 01:04:28.880
And I think that's something that either you or Jackie talked about in the past as well.

1266
01:04:29.840 --> 01:04:30.840
Yes.

1267
01:04:30.840 --> 01:04:31.840
Yeah.

1268
01:04:31.840 --> 01:04:32.840
And we're going to talk about that here in a minute, actually.

1269
01:04:32.840 --> 01:04:34.560
So I'm glad you brought it up.

1270
01:04:34.560 --> 01:04:39.600
And I think this is the biggest thing, y'all, when we are struggling to trust God's timing,

1271
01:04:39.600 --> 01:04:43.240
ultimately it's that we don't trust God.

1272
01:04:43.240 --> 01:04:48.880
So if we kind of unpack it back further, you know, that God has our best interest and that

1273
01:04:48.880 --> 01:04:55.560
he isn't withholding from us and he is going to lead us into those things that are, you

1274
01:04:55.560 --> 01:04:58.520
know, that we're asking for, we're believing for.

1275
01:04:58.520 --> 01:04:59.960
The big thing is the...

1276
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.800
if you guys haven't heard it yet, there's the story that Jackie will tell about the baby gate.

1277
01:05:04.800 --> 01:05:10.960
And it's just like a toddler, right? When we want them to be safe and we don't want them to stick

1278
01:05:10.960 --> 01:05:15.200
fingers in outlets, we put outlet covers on it. When we don't want them to fall downstairs,

1279
01:05:15.200 --> 01:05:21.680
we put baby gates, you know, and we protect them. And so there are times where we think we're ready

1280
01:05:22.320 --> 01:05:25.760
for something. And I might've even said this earlier, but we're really not ready yet.

1281
01:05:26.480 --> 01:05:31.520
And if God gave it to us, it would actually potentially crush us, or it could go all,

1282
01:05:31.520 --> 01:05:35.200
you know, straight, like wrong and bad. Like I said, when I got married the first time,

1283
01:05:35.200 --> 01:05:42.400
I just wasn't ready. And, um, I went straight on into that and it ended up massively, you know,

1284
01:05:42.400 --> 01:05:49.040
destroying me a great deal for a very long time. Um, and so trusting God's timing, it's,

1285
01:05:49.040 --> 01:05:53.280
it's learning how to be more in step with him. It's also learning that, you know,

1286
01:05:54.000 --> 01:06:00.320
it's, uh, it's not about perfection. It's about progress. So sometimes it's about taking a step

1287
01:06:01.280 --> 01:06:05.600
and follow God's leading and seeing what he says to do next and just taking that next step.

1288
01:06:05.600 --> 01:06:09.920
And so many of us are waiting for God's perfect timing that we don't do anything at all.

1289
01:06:10.480 --> 01:06:15.120
Right. And so I think there's a, there's a balance there on waiting for God in his timing.

1290
01:06:15.680 --> 01:06:21.600
And also like, you feel like God is saying something and you take a step and you let

1291
01:06:21.600 --> 01:06:25.840
him speak to you in the midst of that. And then does he keep, is he continuing to lead you down

1292
01:06:25.840 --> 01:06:30.240
that path, you know, with that person, with that situation, with that thing, whatever,

1293
01:06:30.240 --> 01:06:36.160
and that he is big enough to help correct and get us back on the right path. Now, I'm not saying go

1294
01:06:36.160 --> 01:06:40.800
out and just date a bunch of people y'all when you come out of this heartwork that are not healthy

1295
01:06:40.800 --> 01:06:47.760
for you. But what I am saying is that, you know, he, it's not like he just is saying, like, if you

1296
01:06:47.760 --> 01:06:53.920
ever mess up or you get outside of my timing, you're like in trouble. Right. He is going to say,

1297
01:06:53.920 --> 01:06:59.600
Hey, that's not a good way. Go this way, daughter. That's not a good path, or that's not the healthiest

1298
01:06:59.600 --> 01:07:05.360
person for you. Go this way, daughter. But it's, it's just, it's walking. It's really walking.

1299
01:07:06.560 --> 01:07:11.600
It's walking it out and letting him guide and direct. You know, the scripture talks about that

1300
01:07:11.600 --> 01:07:16.800
he will be a lamp unto our feet and a light onto our path. That means he's literally going to show

1301
01:07:16.800 --> 01:07:25.840
us the way to go as we go, as we go, you all. So just something to ponder. I would encourage you

1302
01:07:25.840 --> 01:07:31.280
to ask the Lord if, if also the other thing that's coming up, Crystal, so often, not only do we

1303
01:07:31.280 --> 01:07:38.320
struggle to trust God, but we struggle to trust ourself. We struggle to trust ourselves and that

1304
01:07:38.320 --> 01:07:42.880
we're able to make healthy decisions because I don't know about you guys, but I made not good

1305
01:07:42.880 --> 01:07:48.480
decisions in the past. And so I was struggling to, uh, not be afraid that I wouldn't make bad

1306
01:07:48.480 --> 01:07:52.960
decisions again, you know, whether it was, you know, choosing someone unhealthy or, you know,

1307
01:07:52.960 --> 01:08:00.800
sometimes with finances or whatever, but, um, God had to teach me how to, um, trust him, but get

1308
01:08:00.800 --> 01:08:08.000
more rooted in who I am in him and trusting my ability to hear as I go. Um, so we're going to

1309
01:08:08.000 --> 01:08:14.880
switch Abby. I see you and I hate to, to not say go right now, but I need to shift us to the next

1310
01:08:14.880 --> 01:08:18.560
topic just cause I need to get you all into your next breakout session. It's going to be really

1311
01:08:18.560 --> 01:08:25.040
good. So I would encourage you, um, if you want do a post in the group so that I can still hear

1312
01:08:25.040 --> 01:08:28.319
and the ladies can hear what you were going to share tonight. Cause I still want you to know

1313
01:08:28.319 --> 01:08:33.920
how important it is, what you were going to say. Um, okay. So you all, I want to talk a little bit

1314
01:08:33.920 --> 01:08:40.160
about, um, this control stuff, but from the aspect, this is what God put on my heart earlier

1315
01:08:40.160 --> 01:08:47.840
today for you all. When we talk about control and the areas that we struggle to let go of control,

1316
01:08:47.840 --> 01:08:52.560
do you guys understand that a lot of times the reason we struggle with control is because we

1317
01:08:52.560 --> 01:08:59.279
have unhealed trauma that causes us to try to maintain control as a form of protection.

1318
01:08:59.840 --> 01:09:09.680
So for example, you know, you get hurt as a young kid in situations at home. And so you grow up

1319
01:09:09.680 --> 01:09:14.319
making promises to yourself. I'll, I'll give you a good example. My one, another one, my other

1320
01:09:14.319 --> 01:09:21.359
spiritual daughter, um, lover to death, young, the youngest of two. Um, she said to me, I took her out

1321
01:09:21.359 --> 01:09:26.560
this past weekend and she said to me, uh, I'm just at this place where I'm not going to rely on my

1322
01:09:26.720 --> 01:09:31.439
I'm just at this place where I'm not going to rely on anybody. And she wasn't saying it to me in a

1323
01:09:31.439 --> 01:09:34.720
mean way. She was more talking about her parents, but just in general, this is where she's at.

1324
01:09:35.600 --> 01:09:41.600
I will say it again for you, Claudia, hold on one sec. But, um, she said, I'm not going to rely on

1325
01:09:41.600 --> 01:09:46.160
anybody else. I'm going to make my own decisions. I'm going to do my own stuff. And I'm just not

1326
01:09:46.160 --> 01:09:52.160
even going to ask anybody's opinion. And that's her way of controlling and protecting herself

1327
01:09:52.160 --> 01:09:59.200
from being hurt. Um, it came from a situation, her biological mom, um, it was a car that her mom

1328
01:09:59.200 --> 01:09:59.760
was leasing.

1329
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.720
but she had allowed her to drive it. It was supposed to be her car. And one, uh, I guess

1330
01:10:04.720 --> 01:10:09.120
this has happened multiple times, but this time was kind of like the final straw, but

1331
01:10:09.840 --> 01:10:16.880
mom showed up at her work, took the car and never came back to get her, you all.

1332
01:10:16.880 --> 01:10:22.240
And then there was this whole fight over this car and mom said all kinds of stuff. So now

1333
01:10:22.240 --> 01:10:26.560
then she was left for a month without a way to even get to school. Mom doesn't come and take

1334
01:10:26.560 --> 01:10:30.560
her to school. Dad doesn't want to take her to school. It's like, you know, so here's this,

1335
01:10:30.560 --> 01:10:34.960
I mean, she's, she's about to graduate, but she's still, she's still a teenager.

1336
01:10:34.960 --> 01:10:41.200
She's still young. And, and, and now she's like, got this storyline of, I can't rely on anybody.

1337
01:10:42.080 --> 01:10:48.560
And so I'm just going to take care of me and myself, you know? So I know I could relate to

1338
01:10:48.560 --> 01:10:53.040
that. I did that when I was younger too. And that broke my heart hearing her say that cause like,

1339
01:10:53.040 --> 01:10:56.880
I know that she knows she can trust me. I know it. Cause she tells me,

1340
01:10:57.520 --> 01:11:03.440
but because the other people kind of like are bigger in this scenario is just really overwrought.

1341
01:11:03.440 --> 01:11:08.480
Like, it's not like it diminishes what I'm doing in her life, but man, she's just really in a tough

1342
01:11:08.480 --> 01:11:15.120
spot. So how many of you are now, maybe have been for a long time doing things in your life

1343
01:11:15.680 --> 01:11:19.840
because you're trying to protect yourself from being let down.

1344
01:11:21.680 --> 01:11:28.960
You're, you have these trauma wounds and here's what I said. Unhealed trauma can cause us to try

1345
01:11:28.960 --> 01:11:39.520
to maintain control as a form of protection. So I brought up a couple of examples earlier today,

1346
01:11:39.520 --> 01:11:43.840
too. Some of the ways it can show up is, and there's so many more, but these are the ones

1347
01:11:43.840 --> 01:11:50.320
that came to me as I was writing my notes for these sessions, OCD, whatever kind of OCD.

1348
01:11:51.360 --> 01:11:56.960
So maybe you're, you're really just struggling. You got to have your house. Perfect. Nothing.

1349
01:11:56.960 --> 01:12:02.240
Everything's got to be bleached and cleaned or your car or whatever your space is that is,

1350
01:12:02.240 --> 01:12:06.480
this is your space and nobody can come into it and mess it up or get it out of order.

1351
01:12:06.480 --> 01:12:10.400
And again, no shame in any of these things, y'all. I'm just, these are things that came up.

1352
01:12:10.400 --> 01:12:17.600
One of the other things was I mentioned about like the eating. Some of us struggle to eat and

1353
01:12:17.600 --> 01:12:24.160
eat and eat because that is the thing that we can control. People have taken all these other things

1354
01:12:24.160 --> 01:12:29.520
away from us, but they can't take the food away from us in that sense. We can control that.

1355
01:12:29.520 --> 01:12:34.960
Sometimes like my mom used to hide food. My sister did too. And there was this sense of

1356
01:12:34.960 --> 01:12:41.280
control, like, this is mine and no one else can have it. And so that was their way of kind of

1357
01:12:41.280 --> 01:12:46.560
protecting their food, protecting their stuff. I don't know why they did that. I really don't.

1358
01:12:47.120 --> 01:12:52.800
I never got a chance to ask my mom that. My sister, I think learned it from my mom. But

1359
01:12:52.800 --> 01:12:56.880
anyways, those are two things. Some of y'all, it's going to be finances. Some of y'all it's

1360
01:12:56.880 --> 01:13:01.680
going to be with men and you're just like, yeah, no, thanks. Thanks for trying to open my door,

1361
01:13:01.680 --> 01:13:08.000
but I got it. I don't need your help. Like, guy, I don't need you to open that door and hold

1362
01:13:08.000 --> 01:13:13.760
it for me. I don't need you to come and pick me up and take care of me, whatever that looks like.

1363
01:13:13.760 --> 01:13:20.000
Some of us, we're just like, we've got this and nobody can come in past that layer. So that's what

1364
01:13:20.000 --> 01:13:26.720
I want you guys to talk about. So do you have an unhealed wound or trauma that is leading you to

1365
01:13:26.720 --> 01:13:33.520
try to, uh, control to maintain, like try to maintain, excuse me, control as that form of

1366
01:13:33.520 --> 01:13:40.880
protection, putting a wall up to keep people out that you think might hurt you. Yeah. I don't need

1367
01:13:40.880 --> 01:13:48.720
your help. Ooh, so much good stuff. You all, it's going to be good. Uh, let's see here. I'm going

1368
01:13:48.720 --> 01:13:52.800
to recreate the rooms. Cause I want some of the new ladies, I want you to be able to meet some

1369
01:13:52.800 --> 01:14:02.880
new people. All right. I got to do eight minutes. So you guys will have to be quick this time,

1370
01:14:02.880 --> 01:14:06.160
just cause we're kind of, I can't even believe we're already cutting close on time. All right,

1371
01:14:06.160 --> 01:14:19.200
go ahead and click to join that praying for you all. So ladies on Facebook, let me hear,

1372
01:14:19.200 --> 01:14:23.920
let me hear about, you know, what trauma or wounds are unhealed that are leading you guys

1373
01:14:23.920 --> 01:14:29.680
to try to control as a form of protection. Susan, are you having a hard time connecting?

1374
01:14:29.680 --> 01:14:36.640
Oh, there she goes. Shannon. I think you're my last one.

1375
01:14:36.640 --> 01:14:51.280
I think that's just a bad connection there. All right. So I'm going to kind of catch up

1376
01:14:51.280 --> 01:14:56.000
with some of the things y'all have been saying on Facebook. Um, I guess I should pray over the

1377
01:14:56.000 --> 01:14:59.760
rooms as well as those that are watching here live. So father, we just thank you.

1378
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:06.000
now just for these areas where we struggle to shift into control to maintain some form of

1379
01:15:06.000 --> 01:15:10.960
protection. God, even though we aren't really, we aren't really protecting ourselves, we're

1380
01:15:10.960 --> 01:15:15.920
actually making it harder on ourselves. So Lord, I pray tonight that you'll just help us to

1381
01:15:17.760 --> 01:15:21.520
open up and share about these areas that we need you to come in and heal

1382
01:15:21.520 --> 01:15:25.840
so that we don't try to control and maintain some kind of idea of control

1383
01:15:26.640 --> 01:15:31.680
to tell ourselves that we're actually protecting ourselves. Help us to trust that you want to

1384
01:15:31.680 --> 01:15:36.400
protect us, that you want to defend us. Even as I was saying earlier, I read in the word this

1385
01:15:36.400 --> 01:15:41.280
morning in Psalm 91. I'm going to read this to you all. I feel like I should get this out.

1386
01:15:42.160 --> 01:15:49.200
Give me a minute. I'm going to turn to it. Psalm 91 is a great, I'm going to just read the whole

1387
01:15:49.200 --> 01:15:53.920
thing. I think this is really great, but I'm going to focus on verse 9 and 10.

1388
01:15:54.880 --> 01:15:58.960
Whoever dwells, this is verse 1, in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the

1389
01:15:58.960 --> 01:16:04.960
Almighty. I will say of the Lord, he is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust. Surely

1390
01:16:04.960 --> 01:16:09.120
he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his

1391
01:16:09.120 --> 01:16:16.000
feathers and under his wings you will find refuge. His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

1392
01:16:16.080 --> 01:16:22.240
You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that

1393
01:16:22.240 --> 01:16:29.920
stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your

1394
01:16:29.920 --> 01:16:37.360
side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your

1395
01:16:37.360 --> 01:16:42.800
eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. If you say, the Lord, here's verse 9, is my refuge,

1396
01:16:42.800 --> 01:16:48.640
and you make the Most High your dwelling. Verse 10, oh I'm sorry, 10 and 11 is actually,

1397
01:16:48.640 --> 01:16:55.200
no harm will ever take you, no disaster will come near your tent, for he will command his angels

1398
01:16:55.200 --> 01:17:02.000
concerning you to guard you in all of your ways. Man, that's powerful. They will lift you up in

1399
01:17:02.000 --> 01:17:06.080
their hands so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and

1400
01:17:06.080 --> 01:17:11.120
the cobra. You will trample the great lion and the serpent because he loves me, says the Lord.

1401
01:17:11.120 --> 01:17:16.000
I will rescue him. I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me,

1402
01:17:16.000 --> 01:17:21.200
and I will answer him, and I will be with him in trouble. I will deliver him and honor him

1403
01:17:21.200 --> 01:17:28.720
with long life. I will satisfy him and show my salvation. Lord, we thank you for this truth.

1404
01:17:28.720 --> 01:17:37.280
We thank you that you said, commanded your angels concerning us, that they lift us up,

1405
01:17:37.280 --> 01:17:42.000
they guard us in all of our ways, Lord God. I thank you that we can trust in your protection,

1406
01:17:42.000 --> 01:17:47.200
that we can dwell in the shelter of the Most High and rest in your shadow, in the shadow of

1407
01:17:47.200 --> 01:17:53.280
the Almighty, that we can lean into your presence and your power and know that you are working on

1408
01:17:53.280 --> 01:17:59.440
our behalf. Yes, Lord, we thank you for that. Okay, so I'm going to come here. I see Larissa.

1409
01:17:59.440 --> 01:18:04.640
Hi there. Yes, I see. I don't know what I was talking about, but yes, God knows best. He really

1410
01:18:04.640 --> 01:18:09.840
does. She says, my first relationship with my ex-husband, I wasn't ready at all. I didn't even

1411
01:18:09.840 --> 01:18:15.680
know what I wanted and didn't want in what I... I get it. Sorry, I read that wrong. I didn't even

1412
01:18:15.680 --> 01:18:22.320
know what I wanted and didn't want in a relationship. Neither did I... I can't read tonight.

1413
01:18:22.320 --> 01:18:29.120
Neither did I even know what to look out for in men. Yes. Okay, I'm following you. Yeah, it's so

1414
01:18:29.120 --> 01:18:35.600
tough when we go headstrong into things and we just want to make a decision on our own. Again,

1415
01:18:35.600 --> 01:18:41.200
I can't emphasize, this isn't about money or anything. It's about, man, community and what's

1416
01:18:41.200 --> 01:18:48.800
in this community. I cannot speak volume... I cannot speak enough about how that helps me in

1417
01:18:48.800 --> 01:18:54.720
my process to pick healthy because I was coming into community. I was sharing and I was saying,

1418
01:18:54.720 --> 01:18:58.400
hey, what do you think about this? What do you think about this thing that this guy said? Or

1419
01:18:58.400 --> 01:19:03.360
this is how I felt tonight when this guy, this one guy I went on a couple of dates with,

1420
01:19:03.360 --> 01:19:07.760
I had already told him multiple times, I didn't want to talk a lot about sex, but y'all know

1421
01:19:07.760 --> 01:19:13.680
we were trying to answer these fun question things on this app. And once you know, he goes right for

1422
01:19:13.680 --> 01:19:19.920
the sex ones after we did a couple. And so, yeah, sometimes it's hard to know, but in that moment,

1423
01:19:19.920 --> 01:19:25.760
I knew like, hey, this guy's not respecting the boundary that I've set. And he knows that

1424
01:19:25.760 --> 01:19:32.400
he's not doing it. So he was a nice guy, but I blessed him and I moved on. So that's what you

1425
01:19:32.400 --> 01:19:37.760
all can do too. But it takes learning. It takes walking in community. It takes also learning how

1426
01:19:37.760 --> 01:19:42.720
to set healthy boundaries with family. Some of us need to learn, even just, it's okay for us to say

1427
01:19:42.720 --> 01:19:50.720
no. Some of y'all need to practice like, no, thank you. And being okay, if your family member tries

1428
01:19:50.720 --> 01:19:55.200
to put a guilt trip on you because you're not doing what they want you to do. We don't have

1429
01:19:55.200 --> 01:20:00.000
to give into that all the time, right? We can walk in confidence that it's okay.

1430
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:01.560
Okay for us to have a life too.

1431
01:20:01.560 --> 01:20:04.680
And it's okay for us to, to do things and not always want to do

1432
01:20:04.680 --> 01:20:06.160
other things people want us to do.

1433
01:20:06.600 --> 01:20:06.920
Yep.

1434
01:20:06.920 --> 01:20:09.720
Some of us need to come out of people pleasing.

1435
01:20:10.280 --> 01:20:13.960
I've been there for a long time and God's teaching me how to come out of that.

1436
01:20:15.360 --> 01:20:17.280
Oh, Cassie might've gotten kicked out here.

1437
01:20:17.560 --> 01:20:18.960
Did you get kicked out of your room?

1438
01:20:18.960 --> 01:20:19.520
Cassie?

1439
01:20:25.640 --> 01:20:26.280
Can you hear me?

1440
01:20:26.640 --> 01:20:29.960
Yeah, I hear, you know, Hey, my internet is so unstable tonight

1441
01:20:29.960 --> 01:20:33.520
for some reason, and so I, yes, got kicked out.

1442
01:20:33.960 --> 01:20:34.360
That's okay.

1443
01:20:34.360 --> 01:20:35.520
Do you know what room you were in?

1444
01:20:37.040 --> 01:20:37.440
Okay.

1445
01:20:38.960 --> 01:20:39.280
All right.

1446
01:20:39.280 --> 01:20:40.520
Try to go back in there.

1447
01:20:40.520 --> 01:20:41.720
If not, you can just hang here with me.

1448
01:20:41.720 --> 01:20:42.320
It's no big deal.

1449
01:20:42.800 --> 01:20:43.320
Thank you.

1450
01:20:43.760 --> 01:20:44.240
You're welcome.

1451
01:20:44.640 --> 01:20:47.560
Um, Gabrielle says in Facebook, she says, I definitely have

1452
01:20:47.560 --> 01:20:49.320
control issues from past trauma.

1453
01:20:49.680 --> 01:20:53.000
What was brought to mind in my teenage years was eating disorders.

1454
01:20:53.040 --> 01:20:57.320
Lots of hiding, putting on a mask in order to cope people pleasing OCD.

1455
01:20:57.720 --> 01:20:58.200
Yeah.

1456
01:20:58.200 --> 01:21:01.000
Thank you for sharing, uh, Gabrielle.

1457
01:21:01.040 --> 01:21:02.840
I don't know if I said your name right the last time.

1458
01:21:03.440 --> 01:21:09.680
Um, and so I would encourage you just to ask the Lord, um, you know, when those

1459
01:21:09.680 --> 01:21:14.240
eating disorders started, when you were a teenager, like, was there something

1460
01:21:14.240 --> 01:21:17.880
that happened that triggered that, that led you to start doing that?

1461
01:21:18.360 --> 01:21:26.840
Um, because just from my experience, um, there's a lot of unhealed areas.

1462
01:21:26.920 --> 01:21:29.880
Um, I have a friend, I don't know if you would relate to this, but when I was in

1463
01:21:29.880 --> 01:21:32.680
high school, she just felt like a lot of pressure from her parents, she was

1464
01:21:32.680 --> 01:21:38.160
the oldest of two daughters, her dad worked in our school system and as a

1465
01:21:38.160 --> 01:21:42.600
principal, very high up, um, and so there was just this whole kind of.

1466
01:21:43.240 --> 01:21:45.480
A persona that they had to portray.

1467
01:21:45.520 --> 01:21:48.600
Um, always have it together, the best grades, the best athlete,

1468
01:21:48.840 --> 01:21:50.200
you know, all those kinds of things.

1469
01:21:50.200 --> 01:21:54.360
And so that was one of the things that really led her to feel a lot of

1470
01:21:54.360 --> 01:21:57.960
pressure and some of those things, even we interpret them differently

1471
01:21:57.960 --> 01:21:59.640
than they're actually intended, but.

1472
01:22:00.520 --> 01:22:05.080
Would just be, uh, good for you to ask the Lord to reveal those areas for

1473
01:22:05.080 --> 01:22:09.320
healing from when you were a teenager and just to lead you into truth and

1474
01:22:09.320 --> 01:22:11.720
healing and anywhere that's needed.

1475
01:22:11.720 --> 01:22:15.200
So that, because here's the thing, if you're not healed in that

1476
01:22:15.200 --> 01:22:19.840
teenage girl version of yourself, um, it can, that can show up even in

1477
01:22:19.840 --> 01:22:24.480
your relationships now and you're, even though you're older now, you're not

1478
01:22:24.480 --> 01:22:26.920
healed as the teenage version of yourself.

1479
01:22:27.160 --> 01:22:32.200
And so when people do or say things in life today, your teenage self is still

1480
01:22:32.200 --> 01:22:36.200
getting triggered versus like, if you were healed in those areas and then you

1481
01:22:36.200 --> 01:22:39.960
can show up differently in all of your relationships, um, so I'm just reading

1482
01:22:39.960 --> 01:22:43.040
some things on Facebook, y'all trying to catch up with those ladies while you're

1483
01:22:43.040 --> 01:22:46.560
here, you have a few seconds before people come back here and says after

1484
01:22:46.560 --> 01:22:50.360
being married four times to men who all cheated and walked away with no remorse.

1485
01:22:50.360 --> 01:22:53.480
I found myself not letting anyone in because I don't want to feel

1486
01:22:53.480 --> 01:22:55.720
that kind of pain ever again.

1487
01:22:55.720 --> 01:22:57.720
But deep down, I want someone in.

1488
01:22:58.360 --> 01:23:01.440
Um, but I, uh, I try to control everything.

1489
01:23:01.440 --> 01:23:05.080
They try to start because my mind goes back to the way I was hurt before.

1490
01:23:05.400 --> 01:23:05.680
Yeah.

1491
01:23:05.680 --> 01:23:10.120
So I would encourage you, Karen, to go back to the original source again,

1492
01:23:10.120 --> 01:23:14.320
it, even though it's the marriages is where it maybe got triggered.

1493
01:23:14.720 --> 01:23:16.120
I would encourage you to ask the Lord.

1494
01:23:16.120 --> 01:23:22.320
When is the first time you felt like, um, you know, maybe somebody walked

1495
01:23:22.320 --> 01:23:25.640
all over you and that your opinion and your heart did not matter.

1496
01:23:25.880 --> 01:23:28.320
And then let God heal those areas.

1497
01:23:28.760 --> 01:23:33.640
Um, Oh, I missed a question before I went into breakout.

1498
01:23:33.640 --> 01:23:35.440
Claudia said, do you think it's a form of pride?

1499
01:23:35.440 --> 01:23:37.240
Do I think control is a form of pride?

1500
01:23:37.240 --> 01:23:38.000
Is that what you mean?

1501
01:23:40.640 --> 01:23:41.680
I think that's what you're saying.

1502
01:23:42.280 --> 01:23:43.360
Um, all right.

1503
01:23:43.360 --> 01:23:46.480
So as a cloudy answers that for me, I'll come back to that.

1504
01:23:46.800 --> 01:23:49.840
Um, but who is willing to share with the whole group?

1505
01:23:51.640 --> 01:23:52.240
Awesome.

1506
01:23:52.440 --> 01:23:53.240
Crystal, go ahead.

1507
01:23:56.320 --> 01:23:58.160
Yeah, this is such a massive one for me.

1508
01:23:58.160 --> 01:24:00.680
Like I've literally been journaling through this stuff with the Lord.

1509
01:24:00.680 --> 01:24:02.480
And then that was the topic that was for today.

1510
01:24:02.480 --> 01:24:03.720
So I'm being brave.

1511
01:24:04.440 --> 01:24:08.520
Um, so the, the question was, is there unhealed trauma?

1512
01:24:08.520 --> 01:24:10.000
And I'm like, yeah, absolutely.

1513
01:24:10.120 --> 01:24:12.800
Um, for me, I think it's a couple of different things.

1514
01:24:13.120 --> 01:24:19.520
One being, um, just growing up, even from a small girl in our home, um,

1515
01:24:20.240 --> 01:24:24.280
discipline was always just do what I say.

1516
01:24:24.360 --> 01:24:28.560
There was no chance to kind of communicate my side of the story.

1517
01:24:28.560 --> 01:24:31.160
So if there was a fight with a sibling or anything like that, it

1518
01:24:31.160 --> 01:24:32.880
was always just sort of like shut down.

1519
01:24:32.880 --> 01:24:38.040
And I think even from a young age, I was called a kid, like a, my, I

1520
01:24:38.440 --> 01:24:42.800
remember feeling like my parents were saying to me that I was not a

1521
01:24:42.800 --> 01:24:46.760
submissive child, like I was a rebel or, you know, like, just do what you're told.

1522
01:24:46.760 --> 01:24:50.440
There seemed to always be like this anger in them that I wasn't compliant.

1523
01:24:51.240 --> 01:24:54.280
Um, and then the other component of that for me is probably what

1524
01:24:54.280 --> 01:24:55.680
I already shared in the chat.

1525
01:24:55.680 --> 01:24:59.520
So a little bit older when, um, my parents.

1526
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:08.720
were disciplining me, I would often be kind of held against the wall and choked and I had to

1527
01:25:08.720 --> 01:25:15.440
sort of maintain a calm exterior because any kind of emotion would then be punished harsher. And so

1528
01:25:15.440 --> 01:25:21.680
internally I was saying, I'm not going to listen to you because that was my way of protecting all

1529
01:25:21.680 --> 01:25:29.440
of the harsh words and stuff that was coming out. So yeah, I see even now as an adult, it's just so,

1530
01:25:29.440 --> 01:25:36.160
I'm so aware that if people speak to me with direct language, that's, you know, do this,

1531
01:25:36.160 --> 01:25:40.800
I get triggered because they're not asking, they're telling. And then that triggers that

1532
01:25:40.800 --> 01:25:49.360
sense of wanting to feel like I want to stay in control. Yes. Wow, man. So good. Thank you for

1533
01:25:49.360 --> 01:25:54.480
being vulnerable. Thank you for trusting us and sharing your story. I'm so sorry that you went

1534
01:25:54.480 --> 01:26:03.600
through that. Lord, we just ask for you to come in and heal these areas regarding parental abuse.

1535
01:26:05.040 --> 01:26:10.080
Y'all, that's what it is. That was not okay in the father's eyes. I'm a hundred percent

1536
01:26:10.080 --> 01:26:14.720
confident in that. And so Lord, we know there's grace for her parents, but Lord, we just ask for

1537
01:26:14.720 --> 01:26:20.480
healing in those places. But I want to encourage you too, Crystal, I think it's good that you're

1538
01:26:21.360 --> 01:26:27.920
you're recognizing when people aren't asking, they're just like kind of demanding. But we want

1539
01:26:27.920 --> 01:26:34.240
to, we want to ask the Lord to reveal the root, whether it is with your parents is the root place

1540
01:26:34.240 --> 01:26:41.600
that causes that trigger, or is there something even past, like before the situations happened

1541
01:26:41.600 --> 01:26:45.360
where, you know, just do what you're told. And maybe it's even when you were younger.

1542
01:26:46.240 --> 01:26:53.120
But I would also say to this thing that stood out to me is, you know, there, there is a side

1543
01:26:53.120 --> 01:26:58.960
of some of us where we just are very confident and we're, you know, have a very strong mind and

1544
01:26:58.960 --> 01:27:05.280
opinions. And if our parents aren't healed, they don't know how to, they don't know how to nurture

1545
01:27:05.280 --> 01:27:12.960
that in us. And instead it's, it threatens them. It threatens them. And that's not our fault.

1546
01:27:13.920 --> 01:27:20.400
Right. But they're responding out of this brokenness and this lack of understanding of how

1547
01:27:20.400 --> 01:27:26.720
to really enable their child to mature and grow and flourish as the leader that they are probably

1548
01:27:26.720 --> 01:27:33.200
called to be. And so I'm not saying that every rebellious thought we ever have is that you all,

1549
01:27:33.200 --> 01:27:39.680
but I'm just saying like, there are times where even, even I can think back to my, my stepson,

1550
01:27:39.840 --> 01:27:46.080
when he was young, man, I can remember reading this book about, I don't remember what it's called,

1551
01:27:46.080 --> 01:27:50.080
but it was about stubborn children. And like, how do you get, like, how do you break through with

1552
01:27:50.080 --> 01:27:56.080
them when they're just not willing to hear you? But here's the thing. My stepson also had a lot

1553
01:27:56.080 --> 01:28:01.760
of woundedness and brokenness, not only with his dad, but his mom and stuff that happened in trauma.

1554
01:28:02.720 --> 01:28:10.400
And so there is an aspect of us that we become stubborn and rebellious again, out of this.

1555
01:28:10.960 --> 01:28:15.520
I don't need anybody's help. I don't need to listen to anybody. Like I know what's best.

1556
01:28:16.160 --> 01:28:20.960
And it's not even because we even want that sometimes it's because that is again, what we're

1557
01:28:20.960 --> 01:28:27.360
projecting to protect. So I would encourage you guys, if any of you have that kind of heart posture,

1558
01:28:27.360 --> 01:28:34.400
just ask the Lord to come in and help, help you open that part of your heart to him and just see

1559
01:28:34.400 --> 01:28:43.200
what he wants to show you there. Because I feel like God wants to soften some of those areas.

1560
01:28:43.200 --> 01:28:47.440
And some of you, and even me saying that it's probably going to cause you guys to feel your

1561
01:28:47.440 --> 01:28:53.840
heart racing because it's going to mean you have to, well, not have to, you get to choose to

1562
01:28:54.720 --> 01:28:57.920
invite him in for healing and that stuff.

1563
01:29:00.400 --> 01:29:07.920
And you don't have to be tough all the time. You don't, the world tells you, you do, but God is

1564
01:29:07.920 --> 01:29:13.520
going to bring not only a spirit mate, as far as what we believe around you and into your life,

1565
01:29:13.520 --> 01:29:20.000
but he's bringing sisters and community and people that you can rely on. Are people imperfect? Yes,

1566
01:29:20.960 --> 01:29:26.400
we are. We all are. We're all going to make mistakes, y'all, but God can bring really

1567
01:29:26.400 --> 01:29:32.160
incredible, amazing people around us on the journey as well. So just a couple of things to

1568
01:29:32.160 --> 01:29:37.040
keep in mind. I will tell you guys it's at nine 30. So I'm going to be able to take one or two

1569
01:29:37.040 --> 01:29:42.000
more. I'm so sorry. I know it kind of, we get going and see, this is what happens. We get going and

1570
01:29:42.000 --> 01:29:48.160
then, and then we don't always have time. So be sure to post in the group. If you're not able to

1571
01:29:48.160 --> 01:29:53.280
go tonight, or you can even go on to the live feed it's it's projecting into the group right

1572
01:29:53.280 --> 01:29:57.200
now. So you guys will see it. And I have ladies commenting on here. So if you want to put your

1573
01:29:57.200 --> 01:29:59.760
comment there, I'll, I'll respond to you there.

1574
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:06.240
Uh, or my team will. Okay. Um, Rachel, go ahead. I saw, I see you at the top of my screen next.

1575
01:30:07.280 --> 01:30:15.360
Hey there. Can you hear me? Yep. Okay, perfect. Um, so I shared with the group, um, and I wasn't

1576
01:30:15.360 --> 01:30:18.640
nervous to share with them, but I'm very nervous and I don't ever get nervous talking in front of

1577
01:30:18.640 --> 01:30:29.520
people. So, um, so I've grown up in church my entire life. Um, I'm a pastor's kid and I think

1578
01:30:29.520 --> 01:30:32.640
I learned, and I don't know where I learned, but probably just being in the environment. Cause I

1579
01:30:32.640 --> 01:30:38.720
don't think it was from my parents to put a face on, to show up, to know how to act and how to

1580
01:30:38.720 --> 01:30:46.000
behave. And so as I started getting older, you know, teenage years, probably even probably more

1581
01:30:46.000 --> 01:30:53.680
into my twenties. Um, I would just stuff things because I would need to put the face on, right.

1582
01:30:53.680 --> 01:30:58.000
I was on staff at a church. I was a teacher and the town that I lived in at the time. And

1583
01:30:58.720 --> 01:31:02.400
I would just put the face on cause I had to show up. And so when I saw friends getting married or

1584
01:31:02.400 --> 01:31:09.280
saw them get having kids or all the things that I wanted and me not getting those, I just stuff,

1585
01:31:09.280 --> 01:31:14.320
stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff. And then I had some things happen in life that were pretty traumatic,

1586
01:31:14.320 --> 01:31:21.840
that turned my life kind of upside down. Um, and all of those emotions came bubbling out and

1587
01:31:21.840 --> 01:31:27.760
me following and just putting the face on and doing the act for so long turned into the other

1588
01:31:27.760 --> 01:31:34.320
end of me controlling, um, the other end of controlling, but like me not getting a relationship

1589
01:31:34.320 --> 01:31:40.320
for so long. I saw everybody else get it that I just went out and had very superficial surface

1590
01:31:40.960 --> 01:31:46.480
physical relationships with guys in my early thirties. I'm now 39. I was like, well, this

1591
01:31:46.480 --> 01:31:51.920
didn't work for so long. So basically she's my language as it I'm going to go do what I want to

1592
01:31:51.920 --> 01:32:00.160
do. Um, realizing the Lord showing me that all of that is like a sense of control. But even now,

1593
01:32:00.160 --> 01:32:06.640
like, like you mentioned earlier, like, I don't even know how to trust myself because I've made

1594
01:32:06.640 --> 01:32:12.560
all of these choices that I'm not proud of that I really don't think are me, but it's like you

1595
01:32:12.560 --> 01:32:15.760
stuck for so long cause you didn't get what you wanted. Then you tried to go get what you wanted.

1596
01:32:16.720 --> 01:32:20.480
And that didn't work out either. Like, you don't mean like you wanted to control it so much that

1597
01:32:20.480 --> 01:32:25.280
everything was, I didn't want to go deep with those people because I was protecting myself

1598
01:32:25.280 --> 01:32:30.400
because it would hurt too much to say that I even really wanted this now, if I didn't get it.

1599
01:32:31.600 --> 01:32:37.440
Yes. Yeah. Okay. We're going to pause on this cause this is super important. I want to hear

1600
01:32:37.440 --> 01:32:43.360
from you guys. How many of you all actually tell yourselves that you don't want a spirit made

1601
01:32:43.360 --> 01:32:51.840
because that's easier in your mind. Yeah. I see some people raising hands, put in the chat. That's

1602
01:32:51.840 --> 01:32:59.120
you. Yeah. Lord, we thank you that you're going to help every one of these ladies to

1603
01:32:59.920 --> 01:33:05.680
admit to themselves that they not only want, Jackie said this, I heard her say it recently

1604
01:33:05.680 --> 01:33:10.880
on the lab. They not only want a spirit mate, but they need a spirit mate because that's what

1605
01:33:10.880 --> 01:33:16.960
you've created them for. So what I thank you that they'll give themselves permission to, to trust

1606
01:33:16.960 --> 01:33:23.200
that you want to bring an amazing spirit mate into their life at your appointed time, Lord.

1607
01:33:23.200 --> 01:33:27.360
And I thank you that it's not about waiting forever for that appointed time, but God, I thank

1608
01:33:27.360 --> 01:33:34.640
you that, uh, the blessing is coming and we just thank you in advance for it. And we trust that

1609
01:33:34.640 --> 01:33:41.120
you're good in the process. Um, so when you were talking, Rachel, um, one of the things that I

1610
01:33:41.120 --> 01:33:47.680
wrote down is you said, when you start talking about, you know, the, the going kind of from one

1611
01:33:47.680 --> 01:33:53.440
side to the other side, you know, we over correct at times you all that's, you know, we do. Um,

1612
01:33:54.480 --> 01:33:59.840
and sometimes it can look like super religious, you know, and then kind of like what you said,

1613
01:33:59.840 --> 01:34:04.640
and even though yours was about relationships, some people go hyper religious church, you know,

1614
01:34:04.640 --> 01:34:08.800
scripture, all this stuff. And then they go and then they're out partying all the time,

1615
01:34:08.800 --> 01:34:14.080
you know, whatever, whatever that cycle is, it's this over correct. And what we need is we need to

1616
01:34:14.080 --> 01:34:20.160
ask God to bring us into balance right in the center. And what does that look like? Um, and so

1617
01:34:20.160 --> 01:34:24.000
that was one of the first things, and God will show us over time. He'll bring us into balance

1618
01:34:24.000 --> 01:34:29.040
and the balance comes you all from healing in our hearts. That's how it comes. It's not something you

1619
01:34:29.040 --> 01:34:34.960
can magically make happen. But the more you heal, the more centered and rooted you become in your

1620
01:34:34.960 --> 01:34:41.760
identity in Christ, the more that you will find yourself feeling peaceful and balanced and

1621
01:34:41.760 --> 01:34:46.000
centered. We're, we're going to close soon, but I do want to talk on this for a minute.

1622
01:34:46.000 --> 01:34:50.160
So you said about the part about trusting yourself and immediately,

1623
01:34:50.160 --> 01:34:53.520
because as you were talking, I immediately wrote down, forgive yourself.

1624
01:34:53.520 --> 01:35:00.160
Okay. Uh, I think like you forgiving yourself for those mistakes and the

1625
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:02.760
those over corrections, if you will, you know,

1626
01:35:02.760 --> 01:35:05.800
maybe go on the opposite side and really

1627
01:35:07.480 --> 01:35:10.720
releasing yourself from the bondage.

1628
01:35:10.720 --> 01:35:15.520
And like, just what I'm hearing in my spirit,

1629
01:35:15.520 --> 01:35:18.360
even during those times, it's almost like,

1630
01:35:18.360 --> 01:35:19.480
I don't know if this resonates,

1631
01:35:19.480 --> 01:35:22.160
but sometimes when we are making decisions

1632
01:35:22.160 --> 01:35:24.400
that we know are not even really what we want,

1633
01:35:24.400 --> 01:35:26.040
but we're doing it anyways,

1634
01:35:27.040 --> 01:35:30.360
we lose a little piece of ourselves in that process

1635
01:35:30.360 --> 01:35:32.560
because we're actually denying,

1636
01:35:32.560 --> 01:35:36.640
because what we really want is the spirit mate

1637
01:35:36.640 --> 01:35:38.400
in the healthy way, right?

1638
01:35:38.400 --> 01:35:41.080
And we want that spirit mate that chooses to wait

1639
01:35:41.080 --> 01:35:44.080
until they have sex or to wait until we're married

1640
01:35:44.080 --> 01:35:46.560
to have sex and all these things.

1641
01:35:47.480 --> 01:35:49.040
But when we feel like we can't get it,

1642
01:35:49.040 --> 01:35:52.040
the enemy deceives us and tricks us into thinking,

1643
01:35:52.040 --> 01:35:55.240
you know, we can go for this counterfeit thing, right?

1644
01:35:55.240 --> 01:35:58.960
But when we forgive ourselves, you all, man,

1645
01:35:58.960 --> 01:36:03.960
it really can release so much of that situation

1646
01:36:06.120 --> 01:36:11.120
and open us up to step further into what God has for us.

1647
01:36:11.200 --> 01:36:14.240
Sometimes we hold ourselves in bondage and hostage.

1648
01:36:14.240 --> 01:36:15.960
I talked about this a little bit for those

1649
01:36:15.960 --> 01:36:19.560
that were in our sessions last week or two weeks ago

1650
01:36:19.560 --> 01:36:22.600
when we talked about forgiveness, excuse me,

1651
01:36:22.840 --> 01:36:27.640
and you really wanna learn how to just continue to say,

1652
01:36:27.640 --> 01:36:31.320
father, like, I wanna trust myself more,

1653
01:36:31.320 --> 01:36:33.200
but I wanna trust you more.

1654
01:36:33.200 --> 01:36:34.040
Like, you know what I mean?

1655
01:36:34.040 --> 01:36:35.800
Like, it's like a combo.

1656
01:36:35.800 --> 01:36:39.200
So trusting him more is gonna help you trust yourself more.

1657
01:36:39.200 --> 01:36:41.240
Lord, help me to forgive myself.

1658
01:36:41.240 --> 01:36:43.000
You know, we can't change those things, you all.

1659
01:36:43.000 --> 01:36:44.560
We can't, we can't go back.

1660
01:36:44.560 --> 01:36:47.040
What's done is done, but you can go forward

1661
01:36:48.440 --> 01:36:51.840
and God by his grace will equip you to go forward

1662
01:36:51.840 --> 01:36:53.880
and make healthy choices.

1663
01:36:53.880 --> 01:36:55.480
You guys are making the best investment

1664
01:36:55.480 --> 01:36:58.320
you can ever make in yourself by doing this journey.

1665
01:36:58.320 --> 01:36:59.160
I hope you guys know that.

1666
01:36:59.160 --> 01:37:01.800
If you don't yet, you will, you will.

1667
01:37:01.800 --> 01:37:04.040
And even some of you, you might not even notice it.

1668
01:37:04.040 --> 01:37:05.920
In the five weeks you're here,

1669
01:37:05.920 --> 01:37:07.240
some of you all are gonna go on

1670
01:37:07.240 --> 01:37:09.000
and you're gonna look back and you'll be like, oh my gosh.

1671
01:37:09.000 --> 01:37:10.880
Like, you're gonna recognize the growth event.

1672
01:37:10.880 --> 01:37:12.360
It's different for everybody,

1673
01:37:13.320 --> 01:37:15.920
but God has a plan and a purpose for your life.

1674
01:37:15.920 --> 01:37:20.920
And he wants to lead you into a land flowing with milk

1675
01:37:21.880 --> 01:37:23.480
and honey, you all.

1676
01:37:24.600 --> 01:37:28.160
Milk and honey was a big thing back in that day.

1677
01:37:28.160 --> 01:37:30.320
It was a sign of prospering.

1678
01:37:30.320 --> 01:37:35.240
God wants you to prosper and to know him in every way.

1679
01:37:35.240 --> 01:37:37.160
So I'm so sorry, we have to close.

1680
01:37:37.160 --> 01:37:38.320
We're at 938.

1681
01:37:38.320 --> 01:37:39.920
I wish I could go all night.

1682
01:37:39.920 --> 01:37:41.640
I really would, I really do.

1683
01:37:41.640 --> 01:37:43.680
But we got to save some for in the group.

1684
01:37:43.680 --> 01:37:44.640
We'll talk in there.

1685
01:37:44.640 --> 01:37:46.160
You guys come in there, talk to us,

1686
01:37:46.160 --> 01:37:47.800
share what you're gonna share in here.

1687
01:37:47.800 --> 01:37:48.760
I still wanna hear.

1688
01:37:48.760 --> 01:37:53.760
I see, I know, isn't this terrible?

1689
01:37:54.480 --> 01:37:56.320
I do this every week, you all.

1690
01:37:58.280 --> 01:38:00.240
Bemi, am I allowed to call you Bemi?

1691
01:38:00.240 --> 01:38:01.400
Can I call you that?

1692
01:38:02.280 --> 01:38:03.920
Tell me how to say your name.

1693
01:38:03.920 --> 01:38:05.600
I need to call you by your name.

1694
01:38:06.520 --> 01:38:08.560
You can just call me Busola.

1695
01:38:08.560 --> 01:38:09.520
Busola.

1696
01:38:09.520 --> 01:38:11.200
You can pick any of us.

1697
01:38:11.200 --> 01:38:12.480
No, no, no, no, no, no.

1698
01:38:12.480 --> 01:38:13.800
We got to call you by your name.

1699
01:38:13.800 --> 01:38:15.400
Your name is so important.

1700
01:38:15.400 --> 01:38:16.760
Everything means something.

1701
01:38:16.760 --> 01:38:18.800
So if you call me Olu, it means something.

1702
01:38:18.800 --> 01:38:20.760
If you call me Ola, it means something.

1703
01:38:20.760 --> 01:38:22.920
If you call me Busola, it means something.

1704
01:38:22.920 --> 01:38:25.960
So whatever you call me, it's okay.

1705
01:38:25.960 --> 01:38:29.400
Well, I call you Busola because that is part of your name.

1706
01:38:29.400 --> 01:38:31.600
And I am gonna get this right, you all.

1707
01:38:31.600 --> 01:38:32.840
Our names are so important.

1708
01:38:32.840 --> 01:38:34.400
So I don't wanna just call her anything.

1709
01:38:34.400 --> 01:38:35.520
She's beautiful.

1710
01:38:35.520 --> 01:38:37.560
Thank you for your grace.

1711
01:38:37.560 --> 01:38:39.680
I butcher it every week, you all.

1712
01:38:39.680 --> 01:38:41.240
I really was trying.

1713
01:38:41.240 --> 01:38:43.400
All right, and then let's see.

1714
01:38:43.400 --> 01:38:45.680
Gosh, I got some hard names tonight, you all.

1715
01:38:46.840 --> 01:38:48.040
Sulakshani?

1716
01:38:48.920 --> 01:38:49.760
Is that close?

1717
01:38:49.760 --> 01:38:51.080
Pick it, Sulakshana.

1718
01:38:51.080 --> 01:38:52.600
Okay, Sulakshana.

1719
01:38:52.600 --> 01:38:53.440
I like that.

1720
01:38:53.440 --> 01:38:54.320
And Sandy.

1721
01:38:54.320 --> 01:38:55.760
So for sure, the three of you all,

1722
01:38:55.760 --> 01:38:57.680
I wanna see posts from you all in the group

1723
01:38:57.680 --> 01:38:59.640
so I can hear what you were gonna say.

1724
01:39:00.960 --> 01:39:02.720
Claudia, your name doesn't mean that.

1725
01:39:02.720 --> 01:39:05.200
We're gonna find out the different meaning for your name.

1726
01:39:05.200 --> 01:39:08.640
We're gonna find out what the Bible actually says.

1727
01:39:08.640 --> 01:39:10.200
I think there's something else to your name.

1728
01:39:10.200 --> 01:39:11.200
It's beautiful.

1729
01:39:11.200 --> 01:39:13.400
All right, whoever else wants to share in the group,

1730
01:39:13.400 --> 01:39:14.480
I wasn't excluding you,

1731
01:39:14.520 --> 01:39:16.880
but I saw those three ladies had their hands up

1732
01:39:16.880 --> 01:39:17.720
and I just wanna make sure

1733
01:39:17.720 --> 01:39:20.600
that they feel really heard tonight as well

1734
01:39:20.600 --> 01:39:22.440
because we got into an important topic here

1735
01:39:22.440 --> 01:39:23.560
and we have to close.

1736
01:39:23.560 --> 01:39:25.280
So I love you guys.

1737
01:39:25.280 --> 01:39:26.960
For those of you that are new,

1738
01:39:26.960 --> 01:39:28.240
I'm gonna tell you that all the time.

1739
01:39:28.240 --> 01:39:29.400
And I do, I mean it.

1740
01:39:29.400 --> 01:39:32.000
And you're like, how do you love me if you don't know me?

1741
01:39:32.000 --> 01:39:34.160
And I'm gonna say with the love of Jesus Christ

1742
01:39:34.160 --> 01:39:36.280
that he's given me for you.

1743
01:39:36.280 --> 01:39:39.560
I couldn't be more honored to be on this journey with you.

1744
01:39:39.560 --> 01:39:41.400
And I'm so excited to get to know you guys

1745
01:39:41.400 --> 01:39:42.960
better every week.

1746
01:39:42.960 --> 01:39:47.240
Father, we thank you for God, your abundance.

1747
01:39:47.240 --> 01:39:49.680
God, we know that you are good

1748
01:39:49.680 --> 01:39:52.000
because your word tells us that.

1749
01:39:52.000 --> 01:39:54.200
So Lord, even when we don't see it in the world,

1750
01:39:54.200 --> 01:39:56.440
even when we don't see it in our own lives,

1751
01:39:56.440 --> 01:39:58.920
God, I pray that you would just ignite our hearts

1752
01:39:58.920 --> 01:40:00.120
to trust you.

1753
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:05.400
trust your word. Lord, your word also declares that you are not a man that you should lie.

1754
01:40:05.400 --> 01:40:10.120
So Lord, when you say that you have plans and promises to prosper us, to give us a hope

1755
01:40:10.120 --> 01:40:15.000
in a future not to bring harm or not to bring evil, God, we know that we can trust that.

1756
01:40:15.000 --> 01:40:19.620
Lord, we thank you that you would just continue to fan the flames of hunger and thirst for

1757
01:40:19.620 --> 01:40:26.240
your righteousness, for your word, for understanding your character within us. Help us to just

1758
01:40:26.240 --> 01:40:32.200
experience Lord, even as we sleep, your sailor rest, your presence surrounding us, your peace

1759
01:40:32.200 --> 01:40:37.120
and grace flowing over us every day. God, we thank you that even in the night hour,

1760
01:40:37.120 --> 01:40:40.280
when we are struggling, God, when the enemy comes in like a flood, God, that you would

1761
01:40:40.280 --> 01:40:45.680
cause him to flee seven ways. And Lord God, that, that you are fighting on our behalf

1762
01:40:45.680 --> 01:40:50.520
and that you have dispatched angel armies tonight on behalf of every one of these ladies,

1763
01:40:50.520 --> 01:40:54.160
Lord, even in the tender places that were stirred up. God, we thank you that you would

1764
01:40:54.160 --> 01:40:58.960
send ministering angels to their aid tonight in every area. And we just thank you for it

1765
01:40:58.960 --> 01:41:03.880
in advance in Jesus name. We love you guys. Bless you. I'll see you guys in the phase

1766
01:41:03.880 --> 01:41:07.920
one Facebook group. Yep. That's where I'm talking about. So we'll see you guys there.

1767
01:41:07.920 --> 01:41:09.120
Have a great night, everyone.