And so I'm going to give you some challenges tonight.
I'm going to challenge you in a few ways as we kick off this next phase of the,
what we call the accelerator.
So we're going to help you accelerate the heartwork. Now,
the reason why we call it your last year single,
because if you do your heartwork, if you get that foundational piece, right,
then the rest of it doesn't have to really take forever.
A lot of times people have been walking in circles for years and years and years
and not really knowing what was wrong or what was holding them back or had them
stuck. And that's why we do that piece first.
You should have been getting some real revelation in different areas of your
life about, you know, understanding your heart,
understanding where your behaviors and patterns come from.
Identity is where behavior comes from.
So behavior follows identity. It's not the other way around.
We would love it if identity would follow behavior.
If we could just make a list of all the things we want to change about ourselves
and we could just take our little type a selves for those of you that are
getter done girls and just go out and do those things.
And then just change our lives. That would be amazing. Right?
And that's why the saying doesn't say change your behavior, change your life.
It says, change your thoughts and change your life. Right?
And thoughts don't come from here. They come from here.
And that's why positive mental attitude and just
affirmations and confessions and declarations. That's why they don't work.
They may make you feel good for a minute and you might feel a little bit
activated when you're saying them,
but if they're don't have their foundation here,
if they're not really coming from your heart space,
that soul space, if they are coming just from an intellectual, more of a,
you know, a thinking space,
then that is going to not really be sustainable long-term. Right.
And we've all done it. I want you to raise your hand.
If you have had New Year's resolutions,
right. And we just want to thank Bethany.
Bethany has been y'all's coach, uh,
mostly through the heart work portion of your, of your last year single.
And she will, you will see her again. You will see her very soon. Um,
but thanks Bethany for getting us started. And if you need to,
if you need to go, you can, you can stay if you want to,
but you can definitely, um,
go and do whatever you had planned on this nice Tuesday night.
So raise your hand if you ever made a New Year's resolution.
Raise your hand.
If you ever made a list of things that you want to change about yourself,
and then you, you know,
read a book or went to a seminar and made a decision that this is it.
This is the time I'm going to change.
And then a lot of times we might change for a few minutes,
but it's not a sustainable thing, right?
We go back to those old behavior patterns pretty soon.
You change your eating, you go back to the same way of eating.
As soon as you get off the diet, you get go, you go right back. Right.
Because as soon as they're over, and usually they are over that is when we go
back to whatever unhealthy patterns we had in that area of our lives.
And so the change has to come from here.
The Bible says, and you read about this in your heart work,
that out of the quality of your heart comes the quality of your life.
And also in Proverbs,
this is where we get the biblical law of attraction from that I always talk
about what you believe where here in your head, no, in your heart,
you're going to get the quality of your life.
Where here in your head, no, in your heart,
what you believe you will eventually become what you believe about yourself.
You will actualize that you will manifest that whatever words you love,
you know, you, you will, you will, you will begin to live out of that place.
So what you believe you will become, and then whatever you become,
you will attract back to yourself.
So whether you attract the opposite,
the polar opposite that back to yourself or something similar back to yourself,
you will attract back to yourself.
And so oftentimes you'll hear dating coaches and people say, you know,
don't look for the right person become the right person, right.
Or they'll say things like, don't look for someone, you know, that,
that fits your list, you become your list.
And then the person that you're looking for will be attracted to you kind of
ideas. And I don't disagree with that. On a,
on a high level, like on a surface level,
I think that that's true to a certain extent,
but I believe that life is an inner game.
And I think that we're always doing the inner game.
I don't think that we ever get done doing the hard work,
but the tools that you learn in the first five weeks of this program,
you can now carry in your tool belt and you can be self-aware self-awareness is
power. Ladies.
It's going to change your life when you realize not just what you're doing,
but why you're doing it to a higher level than you've ever realized before.
And I believe that that's part of the supernatural sauce that helps the people
that we have had success with get married, get married. By the way,
I had two engagements this week. I have one wedding tomorrow.
I had another wedding
last week.
So just constantly, you guys constantly.
success stories coming in of people getting engaged, people getting married.
And so you are in good company.
You are a place where if no one out there is cheering for your love story,
we're cheering for your love story. We believe in your love story.
I even got a tattoo. Was it yesterday or the day before?
It just says hope on it.
And then a heart on my marriage on my ring finger there and hope for,
you know, revival in marriage and family. And so, um,
because that is how I, that's, that's how all in I am to year,
to your success story and to what God has called me to do,
which is to be a prophet to the single nation.
And I believe that you guys all are here because God has called you to be part
of that revival and your spirit mates are looking for you.
So let's help them find you, right? It's the man's job to find the wife,
Proverbs 18 22. And that's what our men's group is called.
It's called the 18 22 challenge and the 18 22 men's mentorship group or the 18
22 last year single. Um, that's what our guys group is, is called.
And you guess what the guys are doing their heartwork right now.
We have guys in a heartwork module right now.
There's other guys that have already done their heartwork that are just in our
community.
There's guys that haven't done their heartwork yet that have come into
community. Um, but men do their heartwork too.
It's a little different than you guys, the same material,
different spin on it in some places, which it makes more sense to men,
but it is the man's job. It is his assignment.
Let's put it that way to seek out his wife.
That word fine means to seed and discover. All right.
Or for it to be revealed to him that this is not just some ordinary woman in
front of him. Because remember it says when a man finds a wife,
it doesn't say woman. It doesn't say when a man finds a woman,
he finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
It doesn't say when a husband finds a wife,
he finds favor, obtains favor, finds a good thing and obtains favor from Lord.
No, it says when a man, just an ordinary old man finds a wife,
that is when he has obtained favor from the Lord to be able to see,
discover for it to be revealed to him that this is not just a regular woman.
This is a helpmate. This is an easer. This is a spirit mate. This is a wife.
And so my assignment is to help you become that before you're ever married.
Cause that scripture tells us very specifically that you can become the wife
without before you have the husband, doesn't it? And then you're like, well,
well, wait, he's a man marrying a wife. Where, when do I get the husband,
the wife, the easer, the helpmate actually brings the husband out of the man.
And so when he takes you as his wife,
you will actually begin to bring out of him husband qualities.
You'll see some of those qualities in the courtship,
because you'll already started bringing out of him.
As soon as he starts pursuing you,
as soon as you start courting towards marriage and he's intentional,
he's falling in love with you. You'll start seeing him sacrificing.
These are the three M's. If you want to write these down,
because this is your onboarding into our next phase,
what you want to look for in a man is, is he, is he masculine?
Is he mature? And is he marriage minded?
Those are the three M's of a husband. He's masculine. He's mature.
And he's marriage minded.
And as he begins to get to know you more and more and gets more and more
excited about the relationship, he's going to want to be a better man for you.
You're not fixing him. He's not a project,
but just because you are showing up in your easer,
you are showing up in your warrior bride. That's what that word means.
It's used 21 times in the Bible is used 19 times for God
as our rescue or as our help,
as our warrior and then twice for wife, for a woman,
woman as wife. You're like, wow. Yeah. The feminine is not weak.
Y'all it's just different than the masculine it's strong in a different way.
And so it's important that we understand that let's let men be men in the way
that God's divinely designed them to be.
And we want to be women in the way that God's divinely designed us to be.
And there's going to be a whole module during this portion of your program,
where we're going to talk about the divine feminine.
We're going to lean into what does that look like to be divinely feminine?
Cause a lot of us are operating in a lot of counterfeit energy,
a lot of counterfeit masculine energy,
because we've been single and we can do it ourself and we don't need any help.
And you know, yeah, you might want to be married,
but you don't think you really need a man.
And I'm going to change your mind about that.
Because I do believe that you need a man.
I believe that we need each other because we're better together.
And if we are really together in the ways that God has created us to be
together, that culture that we're in might call it codependency.
And I want you to get rid of those ideas.
It's actually interdependency, but you have to understand we live in a,
a very toxically feminine or feminist culture.
And we live in a culture where we don't want to be dependent on each other.
which tells women that if we need a man for anything,
We want to be together.
And we want to be in harmony with each other.
then we have to basically give up our W card.
We can't be women anymore.
You know, we're ashamed of our sex.
If you need a man, you know, you might want a man
because you might like to, just like men have sex,
like casual sex.
You might want a man because, you know,
you like whatever he brings to the table for you
in the moment, but you don't really need a man.
Well, that's not what we're taught in the origin story,
in the original design story of our lives.
It says that he made them,
both male and female did he make them,
and he made them for each other
because they were better together.
In fact, when there was only one of them, the masculine,
and if you didn't know this,
the feminine was existing inside the masculine at that time,
but there was just one vessel, one component.
God said it wasn't good.
It wasn't finished.
It wasn't complete until he allowed mankind,
humankind to dwell separately and then come back together.
And so if that was the original design,
if that was, you know, God's original plan,
then it must be the best one, right?
We have things that we can bring to each other,
but only when we're operating in our original design.
And that's going to look different for all of you.
There's no cookie cutter called feminine.
And then each and every one of us have to be that thing,
fit that mold.
And that's where past generations have gone wrong.
And women have, you know, bucked up against that.
And that's where we've gotten some of the trouble
that we have now.
Because women are like, hey, wait, you know,
I don't want to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen,
baking cookies and raising kids.
You know, God's called me to do something different
than that.
You know, I have a different drum that I hear beating.
You know, maybe I want to, you know,
I want to be an engineer.
I want to do that.
I don't think that women have to choose
between career and family,
but I do think that you can have it all,
but not at the same time.
I think sometimes you have to put some things over here
and allow them to simmer a little bit,
allow them to marinate a little bit.
Like for me, for instance, my kids are all grown.
They're all grown and I'm doing amazing things.
And I did parts of these amazing things
while they were growing up,
but I never sacrificed my family on the altar of my career.
I never ran off after significance
without understanding that my greatest significance
and my greatest assignment
was to be the matriarch and mother of my family.
I was able to pour into my children
and simultaneously show them
that I was still a daughter of God and a woman
and also a mother.
So I feel like we do one or the other.
We just give our entire lives.
We sacrifice ourselves as tribute to our families.
We give up all of our dreams, all of our callings.
We're no longer a woman, we're a mom.
Okay, I get that.
We're no longer a daughter with dreams and desires.
We're a mom.
I get why people think that that is like
the noble thing to do.
But so often those women,
they're unhappy in just that role alone.
They're not allowing themselves to dream.
They're not allowing themselves
to put in a little bit of preparation here and there
for when those children grow up and go, and they will.
And if they don't, then you failed
because you want them to grow up and go
unless they have some sort of special needs
that would not allow them to.
You don't want them to live in your basement
playing Atari and eating cheese puffs.
You want them to grow up and go and be healthy enough
to be able to go after their dreams
and eventually, hopefully get married
and have families of their own, right?
Because grandbabies are great, y'all.
I love them.
I'm so glad that I have them.
If it's possible to love them more than your kids.
No, I'm just kidding.
I do love them though.
They're so squishy and they're my favorite.
Okay, so I showed my children by the grace of God
because I didn't know.
I do know that I read something
that some actress said one time,
and even though I'm sure she's not a believer,
what she said, I heard it through the Holy Spirit.
So whatever she meant by it and whatever it is that,
you know, she was doing with her life, it didn't matter.
Have you ever read something from someone,
you know, they're not a believer,
but God still speaks to you through it, right?
Because of the pure, all things are pure, right?
So when we have our eyes focused on Jesus, you know,
we can watch a movie and we can walk away
with a massive spiritual message from that movie
that was not created probably to give you
a spiritual message, but it doesn't matter.
And so anyway, this actress,
and I don't even remember who she is now,
but someone was questioning,
she had children, small children,
and they were questioning, you know, just her schedule
and how does she do it all and all the things.
And she said something that really resonated with me.
And she said this, she said,
the greatest gift that I can give my children
is for them to have a front row seat.
to watch me go after the dreams of my heart, right?
Because we're modeling for them
what they're going to do as well.
And as long as we're not sacrificing them
on a sacrificing them as logs on the fire of our passion,
then they are going to learn something from that.
If we show them, as long as we're not burning ourselves out
and burning the candle at both sides,
and I usually don't go this much into this kind of topic,
but apparently someone here needs to hear what I'm saying,
whether you're here in person or you're going to be watching
it's not either or, it can be both and
if you learn how to balance that.
And Holy Spirit is a great balancer.
He helps us to bring balance to our lives, okay?
I'm not into extremes and guess who isn't,
who else isn't into extremes?
God.
And so anytime you feel like God's talking to you
and it's in some sort of extremity,
some sort of extreme language,
it's not God talking to you, okay?
It's some sort of religious paradigm, religious voice,
where you have filtered, you know, the voice of the Lord,
because God does not drive us, he draws us, okay?
He doesn't pressure us.
A lot of times I would feel an urgency for something
and I don't mean like an urgency to pray or to,
I would feel an urgency, like I would feel pressured
and I would feel driven.
Anyone else feel like that?
And you feel like, you know, God's pressuring you,
something spiritual is pressuring you and driving you
and trying to get you to, you know, do, do, do, do, do.
That's not God.
It isn't.
God woos us and he draws us.
That's what he does.
He woos us and he draws us.
I heard a, I don't remember who said it,
but I heard a quote that said basically,
delayed obedience is disobedience.
And I don't agree with that.
I don't.
I believe that God is so kind and he's so good
that he tells us things oftentimes in advance
because he knows how long it's going to take us
to understand what it is that he wants us to do.
You know, and has anyone else ever experienced
where you felt like a tinge of something
that you felt like maybe God was leading you
and drawing you to do,
but you didn't really necessarily know how to do it
or when to do it or who to do it with.
And, you know, you didn't sit on it,
you didn't let go of it,
but it continued to kind of marinate inside of you.
And at times you could have made yourself feel ashamed
for not doing it yet,
but at the same time, you really didn't know how to do it.
And then pretty soon down the line,
you just did something towards it
and it ended up being perfect timing.
Anyone else ever experienced that?
Yeah, me too.
And it was just so great, right?
And that's when I realized that, hey, you know what?
God just really knows me.
He knows how long it's going to take me to kind of,
you know, it's a whole different thing.
Disobedience looks like this, ladies.
It looks like, no, you sit on your hands.
No, I'm not going to do it.
I refuse to do it.
I don't want to do it.
That's not God.
I don't believe it.
You know, just completely, you know, deciding,
and even worse, doing something completely opposite of it.
Totally opposite.
It's just like, no, I'm not going to do that.
I'm going to do this.
I remember once, before I met my husband,
before he moved in next door to me and became my neighbor,
and then eventually became, you know,
became my friend and became my husband.
Before that, there was another guy, y'all.
Isn't there always another guy?
There was another guy.
And I was just, I was beaten up and bruised
from my first marriage, you guys.
I had no business even entertaining the idea
of being with nobody, okay?
Because I definitely had not done the hard work.
And so this guy was a preschool dad.
My daughter was in preschool
and he was a preschool dad, right?
That sounds super sexy, doesn't it?
No, he's a preschool dad.
So in the line, I would have to,
this preschool was in a church, not my church,
just some church.
And I would go to pick my daughter up
and all the parents would line up in the hallway
because you have to go in the classroom
and, you know, get your child
because your child's a toddler, they're little.
And so we're all lined up in the hallway,
waiting for class to get over
so that we can go in the classrooms and get our kids.
And my daughter's classroom's over here
with her preschool teacher
and his son's classroom was over here.
Our kids were the exact same age.
And so every day, or at least three days a week,
Monday, Wednesday, and Friday,
him and I would be in this hallway on opposite sides,
kind of like facing each other,
just kind of lined up, waiting to go get our kids.
And, you know, I was like, you know, he wasn't a player.
He was very kind.
He was a very sweet, generous man,
very chivalrous, handsome.
You know, he wasn't like, you know, like, you know,
what are you?
doing kind of thing. That wasn't it. It wasn't him. Um, and so I really,
I was starving for that. And a lot of you can relate to this.
I was starving for that because I had only been around the other type of men,
the kind of men that they chase you hard. They love bomb you. You know,
they try to seduce you and get you romantically interested in them when the
whole time, you know, it's for their own pleasure,
their own nefarious purposes. And so this man was not like that. He was,
he was gentle. He was kind. He was respectful. He was honorable.
He was something I ain't never seen before.
And so I started thinking some kind of way about him. Anybody else?
Started having a little crush on him in the hallway of the preschool.
And then pretty soon, you know, we had a few play dates together. Come on,
y'all little play date action. And I was entertaining this idea of,
you know, Oh, this could, maybe this is my person. You know,
maybe this is my redemption story, you know,
just kind of entertaining those ideas.
And then my car was in the shop and I needed a ride to go get it.
And he took me, you guys, he volunteered, Hey, you know,
did you need a ride to go pick up your car? I would love to take you.
I would love to help you. It's like a man helping me. What is this?
And so I went with him and you guys in the car, I'm just being honest in the car,
you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. All right.
Like my hand is just resting right here. And like,
and I can imagine him just his hand is coming and I've known him for months at
this time, like coming over and did a little shoot and just holding my hand.
That's what I mean by sexual tension, like romantic excitement,
like kind of thing. And he did, he held my hand, you guys.
And I was like, Oh, cause I knew he liked me. And now I really know.
And so I'm like, this is good.
And so I'm like coasting on the beautiful wind of this,
maybe romance that's budding and beginning. And then God speaks to me.
And I know my Papa's voice pretty well. And he says, he's not the one.
It wasn't harsh. It wasn't mean, it wasn't rude.
He didn't say you better break up with him right now, you know, or blah, blah,
blah. It was just like, he's not the one. And then he said to me,
basically along the lines of something like, if you let him go,
you're going to find something so much better suited to where you're going in
the future. And y'all, I don't know what my future is.
I don't think I even have a future.
And so it took me a good month or maybe more to stop talking to this guy.
And little by little, as I let God invade my heart, I started to, you know,
feel more and more and more that this just was not the person that I was going
to date. Not because there was anything wrong with him. That's the hard part.
There was nothing wrong with this person.
At the same time,
I did not feel a peace about continuing in relationship with him.
I felt the tugging of Holy spirit.
I felt the tugging and the wooing and the drawing away of Holy spirit.
And I eventually just said, Hey, you know,
I'm not going to be able to date you. I don't, you know,
I don't think this is going to go anywhere. You know,
one thing I needed to do was heal, right? For sure.
But that isn't why God told me that because I didn't heal.
Just a few months later, my husband moved in next door to me.
And just a few months later for I was dating him.
And a month later I was engaged. And a couple of months later I was married.
And 16 years later, I can tell you the other guy, his name was Greg.
We wouldn't have been a match. We wouldn't have been a longterm match.
We definitely were a short-term match.
We both had gone through some similar things with divorce and had children the
same age. And he was very kind and Christian and good and all the things.
But you know what?
I'm pretty feisty and I don't think he could have handled me. I am.
I'm a feisty woman and my husband can handle me.
All right. My husband is a really, really, really good string on my kite.
And so God knows us better when we, than we know ourselves. And so, um,
for those of you that have been feeling driven or pressured by what you think is
God, I want you to let go of that.
And so when I talk to you tonight about what I want you to do,
as we go into this next phase, if you feel pressured or driven,
then just go ahead and just soak in the heartwork.
You don't have to do what I'm asking you to do. If you're not ready to do it,
God knows when you will be ready.
And he's having me ask you in advance for when you will be. Amen. All right.
If you need a good swift kick in the butt though, I'm your girl. All right.
I'm definitely your girl for that.
So here's what we're going to do going forward. We have,
let's look at our schedule real quick tonight. The kickoff and then.
Then on 8, 10, next Thursday, we have dating 101.
We're going to talk more about the masculine, mature, marriage minded,
what to look for.
We're going to talk about all things, dating a lot of stuff you may have
heard in a different way before through some other book you read or something.
Um, but a lot of things you probably have never heard before.
And I'll go over the different, the five levels.
Okay.
Of dating in our community, because we do have a coed community and you will start
to little by little by little, be exposed to the men in our community.
And so what are the five levels of relationship?
And you can use this for any community that you're in, whether it's your work,
your job, a church community, some kind of recreational community that you're
part of, and that will really be helpful to you.
So we'll cover all of that in dating 101.
Then for those of you that want to venture out to swimming with the
sharks into online dating, all right.
Because I I'm going to tell you right now, if you have a healed, healthy
and whole heart, you can find an amazing man anywhere, even on a dating app.
And so online dating, uh, we will have an entire.
So a segment of that specifically how to stay safe on online dating, what to look
for, what to avoid, you know, how to navigate what you're doing there, you
know, with the conversations, how do you get to first in-person dates?
What does that all look like?
Anything and everything you ever wanted to know, including what to put on your
what, what dating apps to use, depending on what you're looking for and how old
you are and where you live all in that online dating portion on the 15th.
And then on the 24th, we're going to talk about boundaries, talk about
boundaries with God, with ourselves, with others, with family boundaries and dating.
We're going to talk about a whole bunch of different things
that have to do with boundaries.
That's going to be what we do here in the month of August.
But tonight as the kickoff of this part of your program, I'm going to put you
into a couple different challenges.
So you've been on a dating sabbatical and if you haven't finished the
heartwork, go ahead and finish.
If you're in week two, go ahead and finish week three, finish week four,
finish five, finish before you start on these challenges, right?
Don't get the cart before the horse.
I promise you, this is not a race and God can help make happen for you in a
moment, what you could never do for yourself in a whole lifetime of trying.
So I really want to encourage you.
Let the main thing be the main thing.
Okay.
But if you, and, and, and for those of you that would be the opposite, you're
the kind of person who feels like you're never, ever done with the
heartwork you're never, ever done.
I want you to understand that the next layer of your healing
will happen within relationship.
I tell my ladies all the time, if you think that you're fully healed,
dating will show you differently.
It will bring out stuff that you didn't even know that was there.
And so that's why it's important that we get you going in that
direction of meeting people.
So you can see things about yourself that you've never seen before and get
you to a place where if you've been hurt in relationship, you can be healed in
relationship, hurting family, healed in family, hurt in marriage, healed in
marriage, hurting community, healing community, the whole, the whole nine yards.
So starting tonight, we're going to go into a seven date challenge.
You're like, how long do I have Jackie to get the seven dates?
Well, good question.
You have until the fall.
Okay.
You have until October 31st to get the seven dates.
So that's all of August, all of September, all of October to get the seven dates.
Okay.
That shouldn't be hard.
Right.
And a lot of you are going to what's the first day of fall.
What's the first day of fall.
September 23rd is when fall starts.
Okay.
So yes, October 31st.
Okay.
So you have that time and here's what qualifies as a date, a zoom, a FaceTime
and an in-person, because some of you might have a date with someone long
distance, so you might be on zoom.
You might be on a FaceTime.
All of that counts.
You might ask Jackie, can I go on more than one date with the same guy and do
those count as more than one date?
Yes.
So if you meet, you know, Henry and you like him and you go on three
dates with Henry, then you made three, three, three of your quota you got.
And why am I doing seven?
Because seven is God's perfect number.
It's a number of completion.
I think for a lot of people, it's enough to challenge them.
And for some people, it's, it's really, it's for people that have no problem
getting dates, it's enough of a challenge.
And for people that have never been on a date, they're not used to dating.
It seems like a lot, but it's not.
And you'll see, once you start applying some of the things that we're going to
teach you, you'll start being able to get to that, to that quota.
Okay.
Now I don't want you to turn and burn them.
Don't turn them and burn them ladies.
And in the dating one-on-one, we're going to talk about, you know,
Oh, should you go out with someone that you're not attracted to?
Should you even go on a first date with someone that you saw their picture?
They asked you out. You're just like, I don't want to talk about all that in
dating one-on-one. So if you have questions about that,
then you can ask all of those questions. Okay.
You can start your seven date challenge today. If you finish your heartwork,
if not the rest of you guys have this whole week up until next Thursday for our
dating one-on-one to catch up on your stuff. Okay. Important. Okay.
So zoom FaceTime in person, all counts. Another thing that I, okay.
So that's the first part of the challenge.
Here's the second part of the challenge.
You're going to come out of hiding starting today.
I'm going to give you two different versions of this.
The first version is tell all of your friends and family,
all the people that you trust, that you think are healthy,
that you know care about you, that you want to be married.
I want you to confess that you want to be married.
It doesn't matter how young you are, how old you are,
how many times you've been married before. I want you to admit to this.
God isn't going to give us what we won't even admit out loud or confess that we
even want. So it's important that we confess.
We want to partner with heaven believing that this is our time.
And so for those of you that want to be really brave,
you can even post that on your Facebook page.
You can post that on your social media. Hey, friends and family out there.
I want to let you know that, you know,
my single girl era is coming to an end.
And I can give you a little template of what you can say that other students have
written before you. I didn't write this for you.
This is what other people have put out on their Facebook and they have all
gotten. They've all gotten amazing feedback.
They've all been celebrated by their friends and family.
They've gotten set up on dates and some people have gotten married from that
post. And so if you're brave enough to do it,
then you can do it. All right. Just letting them know, Hey,
I'm open to meeting people that you might want to introduce me to just going to
let you know, you can set me up. All right.
Okay. So that's kind of a, that's the,
the basic thing is I want you to put yourself out there to people
privately, let people know, send a mass text, do whatever you want.
And the more advanced level of coming out of hiding would be for you to blast
that on your social media and let everyone know, Hey,
this is what, you know, I'm working with a dating coach.
She challenged me to do this. I really want to be married.
I believe God has a spouse for me. Do you, you know,
if you know anyone that you think, you know, I would, you know,
that I would mesh with there's there's a post I'll go get it from the other
group and I'll post it in your group. I don't remember what she said,
but whatever she said was great. And I think you guys will like it.
And then you can make it your own, however you want to. All right.
And then the third challenge and you guys, part of that challenge,
some of y'all you're not even out of hiding on your social media.
Your avatar on social media is like a cat. It's like a palm tree.
It's like a, you know,
some weird cartoon character or some AI version of yourself.
Put your picture on there. What are you afraid of?
Ain't no one stalking you unless they are. And if they are,
then we understand. But if they're not,
then you have no excuse to not have a picture of yourself on your
Facebook. Yeah. Your dog's cute,
but no one wants to marry your dog. Okay. So let's put it up.
How's your husband supposed to find you if you're hiding, stop it. All right.
And then the last part of this challenge is what I call the water walking real
food challenge.
So many women disqualify themselves from a spirit mate,
from a love story because they do not like what they look like in the mirror.
They don't, they feel like they're too heavy.
Mainly that's the main complaint that I get. You know, I know that I'm fat.
I know that no man's going to want me. And here's the thing.
It isn't that no man's going to want you because you're, you know,
overweight for your height. Okay.
You weigh more than you should for however tall you are and whatever your bone
mass is. Um, but if you don't love yourself,
I don't know how we expect other people to love us.
If we want to attract healthy people, then we need to be healthy too.
And the easiest way that I have ever found you guys,
and I've worked with trainers. I've,
I've had gym memberships that I never use just like all you,
I have all that stuff.
But then thing that I have found that works the most is to simply drink
water, walk and eat real food.
Walking is something for all of you that have auto-immune stuff.
Walking is not going to flare you. A lot of people are like, well, Jackie,
you know, I can't exercise at the gym because you know,
I have fibromyalgia or I have this and it's, you know,
then I spend three weeks in bed after just one workout. I get it, girl.
I understand. And that's why walking is your best exercise.
It is. And so if you go to the gym, set that.
mill and walk for at least two to four miles a day. Try to get that 10,000 steps in. If you can,
if you can't try to get at least half of it, try to get half. And I'm not talking about, well,
I set my watch today and I was busy at work and I was doing all the things. And it said that I took
10,000 steps. So I mean, intentional you time, put your little headphones on, listen to some worship,
listen to some, some, some podcasts, learn something new, do something as long as it's
positive stuff. As long as it's positive stuff. Okay. You want to make sure that you're building
yourself up, not tearing yourself down. The only number that I care about when it comes to your
weight is your BMI and not the one that you get by doing the little calculator on the internet,
because that doesn't know what your bones are like. But all of you, if you have a doctor,
you have an alternative nutritionist or healthcare place you can go to, or even some gyms have them
find out what your BMI is, get on the little thing. And then it scans your body and it does
all the stuff, find out what your BMI is and let that be your goal to have a healthy BMI.
Cause that's where the, that's what it's about when it's about disease, you know, diabetes,
you know, high blood pressure, heart disease, all the things try to go after a healthy BMI.
You deserve that. You deserve to be able to walk out this love story. You're not going to be able
to get any promise from God that your body cannot sustain. You know that, right? Your body has to be
able to go there. This is the only vehicle that you ride in. And so if you're not taking care of
it, yeah, you might get married, but you also might die prematurely. Let's let's walk it all
the way out. There's some things that we can't control, but there's some things that we can
control by what we're talking about. Now, when it comes to water, a lot of people say different
things, but I think 75 ounces for most people is going to be great. If you're taller, like me,
I'm five 10. Um, you could probably drink a little bit more, but you guys, it's not just about
drinking water. It's about hydration. So get some of those hydration powders and tablets, put them
in your water so that your body actually uses the hydration and you don't just pee it out.
If you're drinking water and you're going to the bathroom, like 50 times a day, then your body's
just whoosh. It's just going out. You're not getting hydrated, right? We want to make sure
that we're hydrating. And there's just so many things that you can do out there right at the
grocery store, buy an organic one, buy one with no fillers, no colors, all the things and put it
in your water. All right. So hydrate walk and eat real food. What does that mean? During this
four weeks, I want you to eat food that doesn't have more than five ingredients on it.
If you want to follow a plan like the whole 30 or the maker's diet by Jordan Rubin, if you want
to follow a plan like that, that causes you to have to eat real food and not packaged and processed
and fast food, um, then that's great. But this is not about going on a diet. This is about fueling
your body, taking care of yourself. And if you do what I'm talking about, you actually a by-product
of it will be that you lose weight. You definitely will lose weight. You'll lose inches, but the most
important by-product is you will feel dang good about yourself. You will feel so accomplished.
You're like Jackie. I'm so busy. I have kids, have your kids walk with you, take them with you.
They're little, put them in a stroller. You guys, we can make progress or excuses. Trust me. I know
as soon as I get off this, guess what I'm going to do? I'm going to go walk. I didn't get my walking
in today. I'm going to go do it. You could do it at the gym. You could do it outside. It's like
the devil's armpit where I live, but I'm still going to do it. I'm going to go.
You guys, I have a little thermometer, like a little thermostat. And, uh, if you look at it
one way, it's the indoor temperature. And then if you flip it around, it's the outdoor temperature.
And then I was looking at the indoor temperature. It was like 77 degrees in my house. I'm like,
Oh, it's really hot. Then I flipped it over and it literally spelled out hell H E L L for the
outdoor temperature. And I live in Austin, Texas, where it's triple digits for the next two months.
And I'm telling you, I was like, that's pretty accurate. Okay. So if I can do it, you can do it.
We can all do it. We can all do it. We're adding, we're adding years to our life when we do it.
Did you guys know that that sitting on your butt all day being sedentary is the new smoking.
It's the new smoking y'all. And here's the thing. It's not too late for any of us.
We can go after this. We can do it. And when you start loving yourself,
when you put on your clothes and you want to do a little dance, make a little love,
get down tonight, then that is going to be transferred out to the men that you're meeting.
They're gonna be like, this woman is feeling herself. She likes herself. That makes me like
her too. Cause the only men that are attracted to us when we don't love ourselves are men that
are also not going to.
love us or men that want to fix us. And actually we don't want either one of those. So we want
to love ourselves. So seven day challenge. You can put that on pause. If you're not done
with your heart work materials yet, because I want you to do that for sure. If you're
not ready, if you feel pressured and you feel frightened and scared, you don't have to start
that right now. You can wait till we do the dating one-on-one because I'm probably going
to make you feel a whole lot better when we do that session next week. All right. But
for those of you that are ready, you're ready, set, go, go ahead. Remember zoom, FaceTime
in person, all count. Um, and you're not competing against each other at all. This is just an
incentive to kind of get you going and get you excited. Come out of hiding. Let everyone
in your life that's healthy, that's healthy, that loves you know that you indeed want to
be married and that not only that, that you're working towards that and that you're in a
program where you're learning to, you know, that you're doing the stuff that we're doing
and that you, um, are open to people introducing you to healthy people. And then of course,
last but not least Walker water walking in real food. That's it. It's simple. And you
guys, you know why it's simple because that should be the rest of your life for your lifestyle.
Yeah. It's 90, 10. You're going to eat the cookie by the shoes. Sometimes you're definitely
going to do that. But if you do this for the majority of your life, you just move your
body, you hydrate it and you feed it real food. You are going to look whatever you were
created to look like, whatever your body is supposed to look like, it's going to, it's
going to look like that. No matter if you have diabetes, no matter if you have fibromyalgia,
no matter if you have thyroid condition, your body can lose the excess weight that does
not belong there.
If you live this kind of lifestyle, do not believe the hype. Well, I have a thyroid condition
and I can't lose weight lies, lies. I've seen too many women do it before you by keep
it simple, sweetheart, just what I'm talking about. Nothing more, nothing less. A lot of
people don't realize it, but when you start looking at the food that you're eating, you're
going to start realizing that there's all kinds of crazy stuff in it. That's keeping
you heavy and messing up your endocrine system. When you look at the food that you're eating,
you're going to realize you're eating lots of sugar, lots and lots and lots of it. Even
in that natural stuff. Yeah. Fruit is good, but keep it to the berries. Keep it to the
berry family. If it has the word berry in it, you can eat it. Strawberry, blueberry,
raspberry, boysenberry, blackberry. Say it with me. Berries. Those are very low in sugar.
You can eat those. If you're eating the melons, if you're eating the, the, um, the, uh, mangoes
and the, and the bananas and all that stuff, then yeah, that's not so good. That is nature's
candy for sure. And so we're not going to get into a whole food thing here, but if you
begin to just do this simple thing, you'll begin to see results. And when you begin to
see results, you'll want more results. That will be exactly what happens. You guys, I
went to Italy, uh, and I was there for two weeks, Italy and Portugal, and I lost weight
there, eating all the pasta, eating all the things. And you know why? Because their food's
not full of crap, not full of preservatives. They have like a lot of really strict rules
around their food. Their food is fresh and walking, walking and eating real food, even
if it was pasta. And that's, I mean, they feed, they feed, I feel like they feed you
pasta for every single meal, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Um, and I lost weight there. It's
crazy, right? That just goes to show you that it's about eating fresh food, real food. You
guys eat your food in season. If it doesn't grow in the season that you're buying it,
don't get it because it probably came from far, far, far away. And it probably has a
bunch of chemicals on it. Just use common sense. Use common sense. Say, Hey, you know,
summertime I'm going to eat summer food. And in the winter time I'm eat winter food. That's
what I'm going to do. Pasta sounds so good right now. All right, y'all. Okay. Does anyone
have any questions? It's seven 47 here in Austin. Are you guys excited? Yes, but really
I think have some anxiety about not dating, but I think it's the process because, um,
I feel like I have some PTSD from past online dating. Well, that's why we want to continue
to do the hard work. If you're not ready to get out there and do this yet, then wait until you
are some of the teaching that we're going to do this month. That's going to help you to lessen
that anxiety because ladies dating is not a romantic proposition. It's a discovery. It's
a discovery of yourself and others. And I'm going to teach you how to date that way. Okay. How to
new people and how to not, you know, not make it high stakes, low stakes, low anxiety. All right.
It's going to be great. It's going to be great. It's going to be exciting. And you're going to
have your sisters around you and they're going to be doing it too. That's the other thing you're
here and you're surrounded by people who are going to be cheering for you and helping you
and each other's stories. This is your sister squad. I just had a, um, a student get married.
She met her guy in our community. Um, and he was, you know, he was part of community too,
and they got married and so many people from our community don't want to not just at their
wedding, but in their wedding. So fun. So fun. And you're going to meet your sister squad here too.
Yes, you can do this. Find out where each other are. Now you're going to eventually,
after this portion of your last year, single program, you're going to be in the greater
population. We're going to keep you separate for this next four weeks. But after that,
you'll be in the greater population where everybody is. You'll see them on prayer calls
and stuff, but you'll be with them eventually. But this group, okay. The 50 or so of you that
are in this group, get to know each other, find out who lives by who get together, hang out together,
be each other's wing women, you know, get together at each other's houses on the, on the thing.
And if you decide to do online dating after we teach you how, unless you already know how
you can get on each other's apps and you can just hand the phone to your friend and let your friend
swipe for you. Wouldn't that be fun? Let your sister in here swipe. Cause she knows what we're
looking for. Cause she's being taught the same thing. And she might swipe on someone that you
wouldn't normally swipe on. And you might get a love connection that way, right? We got to get
out of our own way. And the way we get out of our own way is to allow other people who don't have
the same blind spots and filters as us help us. And that's why I'm here. And that's why the other
coaches are here because we're going to help you get out of God's way, get out of your own way.
And you are going to be successful. Yes, Michelle, we can do this. It's right. All right. Any other
questions? I have a question. Um, what do you say? Like, I feel like I could be like an eager
beaver and I get excited, but like asking people out versus like for the seven day challenge,
or do we need to just wait for them to ask us out and just kind of show interest?
So I'm going to get really deep into that and dating one-on-one. Can women ask men out?
You guys, it's unnatural to meet strangers on dating apps. And so the rules do not apply that
you would, that would apply to you, like being in school with someone or being in church with
someone that knows you in community. All right. I believe in dropping hankies. I believe it doesn't
matter who initiates the get together. What matters is that after there is a get together,
whether it's a face-to-face date or a zoom or a FaceTime date, once you have a face-to-face
one-on-one date, what happens after that needs to be initiated by him.
Because if he likes you, you'll know it. All right. So doesn't matter how the first,
the first time together happens. You can drop that hanky. You can hint, you can say, Hey,
let's get together. Would you like to get together? Hey, I'm going here. Would you like to go with me?
Or do you want to get coffee sometime? I don't, I'll tell you the kind of first dates that I like.
That's not my favorite first date. Cause there's nothing else to do besides sit there and just
stare at each other and be caffeinated and actually end up talking about a whole bunch of
stuff that you should have never told the stranger that you don't know. And so it's better to do
something different than that. And so I'll give you some hints on first dates, not hints. I'll
give you a whole list of first dates. I'll give you some hints on how to make them fun though.
But until then, since Hannah wants to be just right out of the gate, smart little race horse,
she wants to go. Yes, you can initiate unless God challenges you personally, not to initiate
because you're someone who always initiates. And then you have to, you know, you've been dragging
and driving guys that you've been with all your life. And you want to know what it's like to feel
pursued or for someone to come and initiate with you. If you're one of those people,
then go ahead and just let it happen. Just let it happen, babe. But if you want to initiate,
because as my husband says, men are clueless. If you want to initiate and let this guy know that
you would be open to hanging out with him in a low stakes kind of way, then go ahead and do that.
Let him know you can drop that hanky. But after that time together, you cannot drop any more
hankies. And I will tell you exactly how to end that date. If you had a good time, what to say,
what not to say, what to text him after you get home that night. And then if he does not
reciprocate after that, if he's not pursuing, if he's not the one driving it forward, then it's
boy, bye. And you're onto something else. All right. I will teach you all of that in dating
one Oh one. And I will be in Redding, California when I teach that. So if you're in Redding,
California, we're having a singles gathering on Friday, August 11th. And that will be put up.
Ladies, you can, in this portion of your program,
join a single city near you,
because mostly what's in those are women.
And so even though we're in the dating thing,
actually you can join now,
single nation, single nation millennials,
little bit on a wait list.
Like we don't let everyone in at one time
because we want to try to keep it male and female
in those groups, but you can join your single cities.
And if Amber has not put your single city links,
let me see.
Here's your group, let me look.
Is your single, okay.
Your single city links are not in,
they're not in your guides yet.
All right, I'll have her put those in tomorrow.
We have 19 single cities and Reading is one of them.
Sacramento, Reading, San Francisco,
that whole area is one of them.
And you can join that.
And that's where that event will live
if you're in that area.
So you can come see me in person.
I'd love to meet you.
All right.
Otherwise, that's it.
Any other questions?
All right, go team.
Ladies post as much as you like in this group
about your dates, weigh in on each other's situations.
Try not to give each other bad advice.
All right, because then we'll have to come after you
and say, oh, I don't really agree with that.
So if you don't really know
and you feel like you're talking out of a broken place,
then maybe just cheer each other on
without giving any advice that might be a little crazy.
We once had this girl post and say,
I went out with this guy and it went really great.
And then after the date, he texted me and said,
I had a really good time and I was super excited.
And then about 30 minutes later,
I got another text from him
where he was saying something completely random.
And I was like, did you mean to text this to me?
And he was like, oh no, I didn't mean to text it to you.
And she's like, so what do I do?
And everyone was like, oh, you know,
he has a girlfriend or this or that or, you know,
blah, blah, blah.
And one person, I promise you,
they chimed in and said,
I think he's trying to human traffic you.
He's a human trafficker.
And I was like, what?
That escalated quickly, you know?
What in the world?
So let's not bring all of our paranoia here
and put it on each other.
Let's just, let's let the coaches,
we have coaches in this group, let them weigh in,
but definitely support each other,
definitely cheer each other on, please do that.
Just off the top of my head,
I'm gonna miss some single cities,
but because you're asking,
we do have one in the Nashville area.
We do have one in the Raleigh, Charlotte area.
We do have one in the Ohio, Pennsylvania area.
We have one in the New York,
that whole area up there in the East.
We have one in Colorado.
Yes, do we?
I think so.
We have one in Florida.
We have two in Florida.
We have two in Texas.
I think we have three in Texas.
Texas is a big place.
We have Southern California.
Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
We have Vancouver.
Trying to think.
What am I missing?
What am I leaving out?
Atlanta.
And some others.
I'm trying to think of what they are,
but I'm not thinking of it right now.
So that, oh, Pacific Northwest.
We have some in the Pacific Northwest,
Seattle, Portland, all that stuff.
So yes, we have one in BC.
We do.
We have one in that area.
All right, cool.
And DC would probably just be the New York City one.
I know it's not that close,
but there's people spread out all in that kind of region.
Cool, excited.
I'm excited.
I'm excited for you guys.
All right, so the next four weeks,
you guys are gonna be by yourself.
You're gonna have our full attention,
and then you're gonna be in the greater population
where there's a lot of really fun, crazy,
amazing things that happen over there
as you go forward in this last year single.
It is your last year single.
You guys, I am starting a social experiment.
One second, because I forgot to bring it.
Okay, I'm back.
So I had these blue bracelets created.
Blue is the color of fidelity.
It's the color of partnership.
It's the color of honesty.
It's the color of trust.
And it's the color of self-esteem.
um, covenant. And so it also, you know, something borrowed, something new, something, wait,
And it's the color of love.
And it's the color of commitment.
something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. Right. And it just says it's
And it's the color of strength.
And it's the color of love.
etched in it. So unless you look really up close, you'll never see it. It just says last year,
single. And then inside it says, Jeremiah six 16, which is our community-based matchmaking banner
over what God's doing here, calling us as missionaries into marriage and family.
And they also glow in the dark. So I'm going to be passing these out at really big churches
so that if you wear this, it's signaling to other people that you are in not only just this
movement, but also that you are single Pringle ready to mingle, right? If you put it on,
then that's what you're signaling to all the guys that see it. And the guys will be wearing them
too. And so I'm going to start this in Reading. I'm going to be in Reading for an event. So I'm
going to start this at Bethel, um, this, this week, I'm excited about it. And, um, and, and
because, you know, worship services are so dark, they glow in the dark, y'all these glow in the
dark. So you can see them when the lights are out and, um, it's going to be super cool. So I'm
excited. And then if it catches on, then I will invest even more money into, um, making even
cooler versions of these right now, it's just kind of a prototype to see, Hey, can we get this to
catch on what will happen? It also, in my mind is a prophetic activation because of the scripture.
I'm going to pray over these y'all. And because of the scripture that is inside of this, um,
I just believe that it's like a, it's like a spotlight on you, right? It's like a honing
beacon, um, and a conversation starter. Cause if someone's close enough to you to see that
etched in this band, it says last year, single, they're going to ask you what the heck that means.
And, you know, you'll have an opportunity to either help them join the movement guys. I just
put up a, I just put up an engagement announcement where the girls engaged because another sister in
this group introduced her to her spirit mate. That's been happening. We've had that happen
several times now. It's super exciting and it's just catching on, you know? And so I just released
that matchmaking gift that God has given me over you to help each other find your spirit mates.
Because if we all work together, um, then we really can have massive major success and 450
plus engagements and marriages in 33 months tells us that supernatural things are happening here.
Right. And it can happen for you as well. So I will, I'll be getting these out there and I'm
going to, going to take them and, and, and give them to bigger, bigger places. And then if you
want to grab one and, um, I'll figure out how we get them all to you. We'll figure out that soon,
but this is what we're going to do. Right. Cool. All right. I think that's it.
All right. Have an amazing night, Tuesday night, and I will see you soon. Bye everyone.