WEBVTT

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All right, so welcome to Love Story Accelerator.

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It is Tuesday, February 6th, and I've got some housekeeping items, whatever they feel

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like the Lord is telling me to tell you, and then really the show is yours.

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And so I'm super glad that you are here.

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Let me quickly open this up in prayer.

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Father God, we just thank you so much that you delight in your daughters, and I love

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that we have an opportunity and the space and the grace to partner together as we walk

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through our singleness.

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Father God, that you are not just bringing our spirit mates in this time, but you are

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bringing abundance and healing and restoration and redemption to all areas of our life.

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And so Father God, we just thank you for being a part of our love story, which is bigger

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because your love is so much bigger than the guy that we're going to marry.

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So we just thank you that you love us so deeply in Jesus name.

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Amen.

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Okay.

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So y'all, Jackie mentioned it, I think on Supernatural Saturday, but I also went to

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The Chosen.

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No one warned me.

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It was three and a half hours and three episodes, and I went to a 7.45 PM showing.

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So I was really, I think I might've fallen asleep for 10 minutes.

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I might've, I'm not going to lie.

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You know, but one of the scenes, which I'm not going to spoiler alert on it, but this

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is not the first time they've kind of portrayed this scene where Jesus has these moments with

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somebody and they're either wanting a physical healing and they're wanting to come through.

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And Jesus is like, it's not my time to do it.

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It's not my time.

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And so, you know, scripture is filled with so many times where Jesus healed many, but

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he didn't heal everybody.

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And there are so many parts of scripture and our story that we're not going to get

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a complete understanding of this side of the veil.

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And so we just have to trust and know in our knower that God is for his girls, that he

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sees the first and the last, he sees what goes before us and behind us.

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And we really do need to constantly look at our love story through the lens that Papa

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God loves us more than any guy we're going to find.

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That if he's got whoever he's got for us, we can't mess it up.

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He's God and God is bigger than any snafu.

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So I want you to like have that lens as you're working on your profile, as you start to match

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with guys, as you text with them online, as you talk to the guy at the grocery stores,

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you talk to some guy at church, like all in phase two and even in phase three, you guys,

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if we don't get this, if we don't trust who God says we are and whose we are, we're always

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going to be dating still through this lens of, I need this guy to validate my worth.

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And so, and I say that with a lot of love because I, you know, I'm not one of, I'm,

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I kind of help here and I kind of lay back and do some of the teachings, but I'm not

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one of the day-to-day coaches in phase three, but sometimes I can't help myself and I have

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to intervene because I'm like, y'all, you didn't listen to a dang thing.

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I told you in the online dating class, why are you talking to some stranger on Instagram

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who is in Nigeria for the next four months?

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Like, no, like, no, stop it.

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And so I really want to make sure that when you look at, so I'm going to kind of talk

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just a little bit about each of those four videos that you should be watching.

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Dating 101 for the love of Pete, if you are oversharing in text messages and your first

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video dates and your first dates, please go back to dating 101 because in there, Jackie

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talks about level one dating and level two dating.

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Dare I say, if you are talking to a stranger online or a stranger at the grocery store,

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you are level one dating.

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This is just random information.

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You don't care if the entire world knows.

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I call it your resume, but no, do I want you to whip out your resume and talk about your

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former jobs?

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No, I'm just saying it's the information.

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You will never feel like you had an emotional hangover telling that person.

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It's like now each of us is different.

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So what Laura and Maria might feel comfortable saying to a stranger might be different than

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me.

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I'm Italian.

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We kind of overshare.

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And so like, and my sister tells me all the time, Renee, like, I can't believe you post

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that stuff on social media.

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And I say that it's what I would call controlled vulnerability.

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Renee Brown kind of coined that phrase.

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It's called controlled vulnerability.

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It's part of my teaching and speaking style.

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I am only vulnerable on Instagram and social media and to you and to men in the places

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that it's a part of my story and I no longer have open wounds and scars and I don't need

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anybody to heal me.

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God has healed me and I'm good there.

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The stuff that I'm still raw and battling out,

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that is stuff I don't share online.

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It's not stuff I'm gonna share on the first date.

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So I really wanted to drive this home tonight

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because I just keep seeing women over-complicating

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those first conversations with men.

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So when you are only talking to somebody by text,

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keep it super simple.

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Kiss, keep it super simple.

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Like I literally just had a guy,

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I just texted and I was like, that's a great question,

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but you know what, it's too clunky.

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That's the word I use.

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I say it's too clunky for texting.

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I'm a visual learner.

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I like to hear tone and inflection, see body language.

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Can we just switch over to a video chat?

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I don't mind being the first to say it

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because nine out of 10 times they're like, oh, cool, okay.

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And they're like, do you wanna exchange phone numbers?

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No, I don't.

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Let me give you my Zoom account.

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Okay, you guys, here's why I don't give out

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a cell phone number.

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And it has little to do with, well, it's safe.

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It is, and you're like, well, but I can get a Google number.

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Here's why I don't like giving out Google numbers either.

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Because if you give out this number,

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one, you're not gonna stop him from just texting you.

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They're gonna just take that,

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they're just gonna take that texting crap

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over to the phone, right?

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And they now have access to you 24 seven.

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So they don't have any boundary on your day.

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I don't know about you guys,

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but I'm amazed at the amount of men who can text me

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all throughout the day on an app.

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Really, don't you people have a job?

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I would fire you if I knew you were on a social media app

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this much during the day

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while you're supposed to be doing your job.

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Because not all the guys I'm talking to are retired.

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So I don't like it because I can't control them

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from continuing the text.

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And that means that they have 24 hour access to me.

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Here's why I like switching to a video chat.

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You have to book it.

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If you video FaceTime now, if you've got an iPhone,

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you're like, oh, but we can just FaceTime.

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If you have Facebook Messenger,

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we can just Facebook Messenger.

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I know, but then they don't treat it like a date.

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They're like, they're gonna just video chat you,

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calling you whenever you want.

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And that's okay when it's your boyfriend.

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That's okay when you start dating.

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But when you're trying to get your best foot forward

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and his attention and your attention,

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you wanna know that you're getting his attention.

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And so the only way that you can do that

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is to get off the texting and to a video chat.

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And the only way you get off the texting

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is you only do the resume information.

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Because you're gonna run out of things to talk about.

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You only have so many interests and colors

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that are favored in movies that you like to go to

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and the music you like to go to, jobs that you've had,

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what kind of hiking you like to do.

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Everybody wants to go hiking, right?

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So you can only say that in so many text messages.

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At some point, they're gonna wanna ask you,

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have you been married?

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Do you have kids?

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What did you learn from the divorce?

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Wow, you're widowed, you're divorced?

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Has it been long enough?

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Did you heal yet?

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Did you go into therapy?

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Right, like those questions are not text questions.

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And so like, I'm just beating this home, you guys,

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because I'm reading your posts and I'm reading phase three.

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And I don't want you guys, this crop right here,

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I don't want you going into phase three

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and a year from now still doing this.

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I'm gonna save you of that.

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And this would be true if you met a guy at the gym

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or you met a guy at the grocery store

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and you guys like meet them,

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start to talk to strangers everywhere you go.

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Let men hold the door open for you.

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Let men, like you guys, I'm a short girl.

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And even if you're kind of not short,

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pretend you're short at the grocery store.

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Pretend like you can't reach something and ask a guy.

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Now you're like, well, but Renee, maybe he's married.

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I don't care.

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You're just getting in the habit of recognizing men,

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smiling at men and being courteous to men.

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You guys like, I love it.

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When I go get my Mini Cooper worked on

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at the BMW dealership in that service area,

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they're like, do you want us to go home?

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Heck no.

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I take my laptop and place it down.

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Do you know how many men go through the BMW service center?

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And I'm just talking to all of them.

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And some of them want nothing to do with me.

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That's fine.

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Some of them look like my grandfather,

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but you know what?

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Maybe they have a son that's perfect for me

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or younger brother that's perfect for me.

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Do you know how many, I would call,

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remember the holiday, the movie, the holiday

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and the old guy talks about the meet cute.

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We are missing so many meet cute moments.

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Like she talked to this old guy.

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And like, because of that relationship

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and her conversation with Miles,

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she ends up meeting the guy of her dreams.

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And it wasn't because she was like picking up a guy

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at the bar.

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And so that's my encouragement to you,

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especially for those of you that want nothing to do

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with online dating.

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And you're just like, Renee, there's just.

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So many scammers out there, I can't take it.

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Fine, then don't do it.

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But then your butt's gotta get out of your house.

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Like I am now full-time working from home,

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full-time college online.

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You guys, look at the size of my condo, that's it.

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I'm going stir crazy here.

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So do you know what I'm doing now?

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I am taking my laptop to, I alternate.

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There's a coffee shop

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and now we have this quaint little place.

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It's like a distillery, but they serve coffee

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up until 4 a.m., 4 a.m., 4 p.m.

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So I literally, studying for my seminary

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with my earbuds in, but I'm checking out everybody.

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I look cute and I'm like, hey, hey, you know,

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but like I'm getting my work done.

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Like, so get yourself out in a world

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where you're going to run into men.

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And you guys, if you're in it,

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if you're going to a hoity-toity gym, I get it.

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I was girly, I'm a certified bar instructor.

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I used to teach at a bar studio, love it.

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It's all feminine and oils and candles, but no men.

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Okay, and if you go to Lifetime,

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places like Lifetime in the Y, they're all married.

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So you know where all the single men are?

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They're at Planet Fitness.

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And I hate to say it, they're at 24 hour,

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anytime fitness, those men are coming in and getting it done.

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And so again, I've not met my boyfriend there,

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but I'm telling you, I've had people like hook things

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for me, lift things for me.

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And, you know, I'm just trying to practice the art

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of flirting and being feminine.

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And so if you're like, but we haven't dated in 20 years,

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this is why you need to do that.

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So I kind of just wanted to get that out there.

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And the other thing is, you guys, yes,

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there are scammers out there and there's fakers out there.

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I don't know why you're freaked out about it.

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Like, you know, they're out there.

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Like I'm telling you, they're out there.

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And guess what?

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If you move to a video date right away, nothing bad happens.

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You just expose them.

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And so you're like, but you don't understand,

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I didn't want to get scammed.

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You can't get scammed.

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If you get on video dates quickly,

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you don't vomit your personal life story.

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And the other thing, especially, you know,

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when it's somebody who's not just a scammer,

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like a scammer is usually somebody who isn't

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who they say they are,

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and they're just trying to get your money.

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There's also plenty of what I would call bad dudes

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out there.

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You know how you can tell who the bad dudes are?

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The bad dudes ask you things like, what are you looking for?

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What do you want in a guy?

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And so you just start describing the perfect guy,

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and then they're gonna morph into that guy.

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Like you've just given them the playbook,

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how to win you over.

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And so when a guy asks you that,

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like, it's kind of a weird question.

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Like, I always try to dovetail away from that.

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Well, what am I looking for?

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You know what, I'm really looking for somebody

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that I can have a lot of fun with,

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that I can be real with,

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and that who wants to keep growing with me.

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I keep that super simple.

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I don't say what color hair I like,

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if I want him to be like,

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I'm not gonna be like, well, Jackie told me

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I want somebody who's mature, masculine,

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and marriage-minded,

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and a believer who can quote scripture.

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Because, you know, and like, I don't do that

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because I wanna make sure that the real guy shows up.

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So you wanna kind of give that.

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So you guys really, and like,

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I'm also seeing people going like,

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all right, I just matched up with this guy on Sunday,

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and we talked for three days,

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and now I haven't heard from him.

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Is that love bombing?

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No, it's just been three days.

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Like, there's no love bombing in the first week.

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Like, it's just like, if you're not talking for,

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again, unless you are texting your whole life story,

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and you've talked about everything,

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or you've gotten on the phone,

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and you've not done a video chat with him,

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and you just talked for hours and hours and hours,

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yes, then that can turn into love bombing.

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But you're gonna be smart girls.

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You're gonna do level one dating on text.

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So that's it.

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Level one dating is just keep it simple, the facts.

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You can do level two,

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what I would call video and in-person dating,

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because at a video, there's a start and a stop.

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You're together, you're looking at each other.

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I would say that that's a video date,

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but I don't say, would you like to book a video date?

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I always say, would you like to book a quick video chat?

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We can just hop on for like 30 minutes the first time.

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You wanna have a start and a stop to it.

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How you make sure you have a start and a stop to it

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is you book something right afterwards.

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So even if he's hot and amazing,

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and you guys are like feeling all the things,

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you're like, gosh, I really love talking to you,

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but I've got this other thing I gotta go to.

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I really hope we get to connect again.

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00:14:31.680 --> 00:14:33.640
I really enjoy talking to you.

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This way, he knows you're interested, you'll like him,

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and if you never hear from him again, it is okay.

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Now, you guys, and I'm saying this

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as somebody who's like living it out with you.

326
00:14:44.920 --> 00:14:49.120
So like I had a video chat with a guy Saturday night.

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I found out he's widowed less than a year.

328
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He's like, lives right down the street from me.

329
00:14:53.400 --> 00:14:57.000
So I'm like, oh, and like, I found out he's from Connecticut.

330
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I'm from Connecticut.

331
00:14:58.240 --> 00:14:59.880
His daughter's in a sorority.

332
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:07.440
my sorority, like, we were like, jellin. And then I found out his, he's only been widowed

333
00:15:07.440 --> 00:15:13.440
less than a year. And all I said was, wow, like, so I'm like, so do you feel ready to

334
00:15:13.440 --> 00:15:18.680
be dating? He's like, yes, you know, she was sick for three years, you know, and she wanted

335
00:15:18.680 --> 00:15:22.360
me to, to move on. And I'm like, well, how do you feel like you got through that? Like,

336
00:15:22.360 --> 00:15:26.280
you know, how was that for you? See, again, you guys, I didn't even try, but I slipped

337
00:15:26.280 --> 00:15:31.680
right into that caretaking role without even thinking about it. And what I was really fishing

338
00:15:31.680 --> 00:15:36.360
for was faith, right? Because he didn't say a lot about his faith up until now. And I

339
00:15:36.360 --> 00:15:40.920
was fishing for, thank God for my church. Thank God for God. Like, you know, God really

340
00:15:40.920 --> 00:15:45.160
got me through it. I didn't need, I didn't, I was really hoping he would just say, I was,

341
00:15:45.160 --> 00:15:48.520
you know, I was, I had a real wrestle with God. Like I was really angry that he took

342
00:15:48.520 --> 00:15:52.840
my wife, even that I could have handled, but I really wasn't catching any God thing in

343
00:15:52.840 --> 00:15:56.880
there. So I finally just said, so I have to ask, do you have a faith? Like, did that

344
00:15:56.880 --> 00:16:01.280
play a role at all in it? And I wasn't asking it from a therapeutic point of view. I was

345
00:16:01.280 --> 00:16:05.360
really trying to fish. Is this man, how much of a believer is he? Cause he put Christian

346
00:16:05.360 --> 00:16:09.880
in his profile, but I'm hearing nothing. Him and his wife traveled the world the last three

347
00:16:09.880 --> 00:16:16.480
years, blah, blah. And then he made the comment that, um, yeah, we never had a fight in 23

348
00:16:16.480 --> 00:16:20.880
years. So I'm not going to marry anybody unless she's as good as she was and never fights

349
00:16:20.880 --> 00:16:26.680
with me. And I'm like thinking, okay, that's just cray. Like it's hard to compete with

350
00:16:26.680 --> 00:16:31.120
the dead person. I mean, you know who you've immortalized and you've said you've never

351
00:16:31.120 --> 00:16:36.440
have had a fight with in 23 years, which I call hogwash on that. And I just said, wow.

352
00:16:36.440 --> 00:16:40.360
I said, I'm a lot of fun and I'm really compassionate, but I can't promise you that we're not going

353
00:16:40.360 --> 00:16:45.200
to argue for the next 20 years. I don't know what to do with that. But you guys, we talked

354
00:16:45.200 --> 00:16:49.600
and laughed for like over an hour and then his phone dies. Like, oh my gosh, my phone's

355
00:16:49.600 --> 00:16:55.920
starting to die. And so I found a picture of my alpha gam sweatshirt. I sent it to him

356
00:16:55.920 --> 00:17:00.120
because we met on Facebook dating. So I figured out who he was to send it to him. He's like,

357
00:17:00.120 --> 00:17:03.320
oh my gosh, he texted me back and he wrote, oh my gosh, that's so cool. I can't wait to

358
00:17:03.320 --> 00:17:07.440
show my daughter. She's going to think it's so cool. And then he wrote, gosh, you would

359
00:17:07.440 --> 00:17:15.480
make a great therapist, kiss of death on the day. So as you know, if you've watched now,

360
00:17:15.480 --> 00:17:20.240
I'm going to segue into the divine feminine. If you've watched the divine feminine, one

361
00:17:20.240 --> 00:17:26.400
of the seven traits that Jackie talks about that women have is we are the nurturer. And

362
00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:33.040
for those of us that are empaths, social workers, therapists, pastoral people, maybe just mothers,

363
00:17:33.040 --> 00:17:40.240
we take nurturing little too far into caretaking and guys don't want a caretaker. And if they

364
00:17:40.240 --> 00:17:46.540
do, he's really not healthy. So if you feel like you're still getting the, why are guys

365
00:17:46.540 --> 00:17:50.840
only seeing me like this? Why do I feel like I'm turning into a therapist? Why do I feel

366
00:17:50.840 --> 00:17:56.820
like I'm still too much for a guy? If you're still feeling like you're not attracting peer

367
00:17:56.820 --> 00:18:01.080
level men, I'm going to encourage you to go back to the divine feminine video because

368
00:18:01.080 --> 00:18:07.480
she really unpacked some really good traits in there of what our gifts are. And I would

369
00:18:07.480 --> 00:18:13.720
say what they look like when they're either overused or used from an unhealed place. So

370
00:18:13.720 --> 00:18:20.840
that's the beauty of that. If you are having a hard time with physical boundaries, sexual

371
00:18:20.840 --> 00:18:28.000
boundaries, intellectual boundaries, and spiritual boundaries, and you keep picking the narcissist

372
00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:34.160
guy, I'm going to encourage you to step back into the boundaries video. I really unpack

373
00:18:34.160 --> 00:18:41.040
that. That is really going to help you because you're not going to attract that guy. Now,

374
00:18:41.040 --> 00:18:45.800
you might meet a bunch of guys, and it's not that you're never going to not get somebody

375
00:18:45.800 --> 00:18:50.080
with narcissistic traits, but if you're healthy, you're going to catch it really fast and you're

376
00:18:50.080 --> 00:18:54.760
going to drop them like a hot potato. But if you're getting to three, four dates and

377
00:18:54.760 --> 00:18:58.400
you're like, why am I dating the same guy? I really need you to go back to the boundary

378
00:18:58.400 --> 00:19:04.920
one because it's an attraction that's an unhealthy, familiar attraction, and you're

379
00:19:04.920 --> 00:19:11.040
still reeling that in. And so there's a part you could still be playing that's kind of

380
00:19:11.040 --> 00:19:17.440
wooing that guy in and potentially pushing away somebody that's healthy. Because as Jackie

381
00:19:17.440 --> 00:19:22.480
always reminds us, sometimes healthy can feel really boring. And I get it, you guys. Like

382
00:19:22.600 --> 00:19:29.620
my emotions kind of go like this, and I'm a high risk taker. And I also just had another

383
00:19:29.620 --> 00:19:34.120
video date with a guy from our community, really wonderful guy. If it doesn't work out,

384
00:19:34.120 --> 00:19:38.360
I highly recommend him to me. I can already tell two phone calls in though, he's super

385
00:19:38.360 --> 00:19:45.000
type B. And usually when a guy says to me, gosh, are you type A? That's also the kiss

386
00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:49.480
of death. Especially if they admit that they're type B, he's like, yeah, I just like doing

387
00:19:49.480 --> 00:19:55.200
my job and coming home and not thinking about it. So like there's nothing about his career

388
00:19:55.200 --> 00:19:59.880
that is ambitious and that's okay. Like I don't care, me, but it's

389
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:03.760
Hard for guys who have no career or life ambitions

390
00:20:03.760 --> 00:20:06.800
to be with somebody who has that kind of ambition.

391
00:20:06.800 --> 00:20:10.640
So here I am at 55 going back for my seminary degree.

392
00:20:10.640 --> 00:20:12.200
Like some people just don't even know what to do with that.

393
00:20:12.200 --> 00:20:14.680
Like, Renee, you should be like going,

394
00:20:14.680 --> 00:20:16.600
and you're thinking about going out into the world.

395
00:20:16.600 --> 00:20:17.880
Like Jackie has always said,

396
00:20:17.880 --> 00:20:20.600
the reason why Jackie and David do so well

397
00:20:20.600 --> 00:20:22.640
is they're both entrepreneurial spirits.

398
00:20:22.640 --> 00:20:24.720
You guys, they don't work a Monday through Friday

399
00:20:24.720 --> 00:20:25.960
nine to five job.

400
00:20:25.960 --> 00:20:27.680
Their marriage would never survive

401
00:20:27.680 --> 00:20:30.400
if one of them was super type B,

402
00:20:30.400 --> 00:20:32.400
Monday through Friday work eight to four

403
00:20:32.400 --> 00:20:34.320
and then have the nights and the weekends free.

404
00:20:34.320 --> 00:20:35.800
They're both kind of like fly

405
00:20:35.800 --> 00:20:37.960
by the seat of their pants people.

406
00:20:37.960 --> 00:20:40.920
And that's what makes it super exciting for them.

407
00:20:40.920 --> 00:20:43.280
And so it's, you really have to know

408
00:20:43.280 --> 00:20:46.200
and be looking for somebody in the same season of life

409
00:20:46.200 --> 00:20:48.480
as you, and she talks about that a lot,

410
00:20:48.480 --> 00:20:51.840
that it's less about age

411
00:20:51.840 --> 00:20:54.120
and it's more about season of life.

412
00:20:54.120 --> 00:20:55.760
So when you're matching up with people,

413
00:20:55.760 --> 00:20:57.680
make sure that you are doing that.

414
00:20:57.680 --> 00:20:58.960
Okay, that was a lot.

415
00:20:58.960 --> 00:21:00.240
I just vomited on you.

416
00:21:00.240 --> 00:21:01.600
The Lord told me to tell it to you.

417
00:21:01.600 --> 00:21:02.960
I don't even remember it all,

418
00:21:02.960 --> 00:21:05.840
but I feel like somebody needed to hear something with that.

419
00:21:05.840 --> 00:21:08.280
So some quick housekeeping ideas.

420
00:21:08.280 --> 00:21:11.000
So in this stage, there's, like I said,

421
00:21:11.000 --> 00:21:12.360
there's the original love story.

422
00:21:12.360 --> 00:21:13.920
So if you're just coming in, you're like, Renee,

423
00:21:13.920 --> 00:21:15.440
I don't even know what you're talking about.

424
00:21:15.440 --> 00:21:17.920
There's the welcome love story accelerator video

425
00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:19.520
that Jackie does.

426
00:21:19.520 --> 00:21:22.920
Then there's the dating 101, then the divine feminine,

427
00:21:22.920 --> 00:21:25.520
then I carry you through online dating.

428
00:21:26.280 --> 00:21:27.640
So all the questions you wanna know about that.

429
00:21:27.640 --> 00:21:29.800
And then the next one is boundaries.

430
00:21:29.800 --> 00:21:32.800
What we really want you guys to do a little bit more of

431
00:21:32.800 --> 00:21:35.360
is after you watch those videos,

432
00:21:35.360 --> 00:21:39.640
put your ahas, your wins, your questions,

433
00:21:39.640 --> 00:21:41.040
even if you don't like something

434
00:21:41.040 --> 00:21:42.640
or you wanna contradict it,

435
00:21:42.640 --> 00:21:45.580
put it in the chat, like after you do it,

436
00:21:45.580 --> 00:21:48.480
to get feedback either from the coaches or the team.

437
00:21:48.480 --> 00:21:50.740
Like you guys, I just watched the divine feminine.

438
00:21:50.740 --> 00:21:52.680
If anybody else watched it,

439
00:21:52.680 --> 00:21:54.960
I'm really struggling with peace.

440
00:21:55.400 --> 00:21:57.000
Like she mentioned peace.

441
00:21:57.000 --> 00:21:58.600
What do you guys think about that?

442
00:21:58.600 --> 00:22:02.140
And so that is a real good opportunity

443
00:22:02.140 --> 00:22:04.540
for Bethany and Carla to make sure

444
00:22:04.540 --> 00:22:07.080
that they're really coaching you in this.

445
00:22:07.080 --> 00:22:09.020
And so we wanna hear from you.

446
00:22:09.020 --> 00:22:10.640
When you watch the content,

447
00:22:10.640 --> 00:22:12.720
share what you've learned from the content,

448
00:22:12.720 --> 00:22:14.200
share where your doubts are,

449
00:22:14.200 --> 00:22:15.800
share where you're so confused.

450
00:22:15.800 --> 00:22:17.880
That's what the coaches are there for.

451
00:22:17.880 --> 00:22:20.480
If you go on dates, we wanna hear about them,

452
00:22:20.480 --> 00:22:21.720
good, bad, and ugly.

453
00:22:21.720 --> 00:22:24.200
I'm really proud of the brave people

454
00:22:24.200 --> 00:22:26.240
who share, and here's the thing, you guys,

455
00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:28.080
when other people share about a date

456
00:22:28.080 --> 00:22:29.800
and you're like, oh my gosh, he's such a scammer,

457
00:22:29.800 --> 00:22:30.800
you're being such an idiot,

458
00:22:30.800 --> 00:22:32.480
or oh my gosh, what are you doing, girl?

459
00:22:32.480 --> 00:22:36.600
Please watch how you reply in the comments to people

460
00:22:36.600 --> 00:22:38.760
because sometimes when you're in the thick of it,

461
00:22:38.760 --> 00:22:40.960
you don't see the forest through the trees

462
00:22:40.960 --> 00:22:43.000
and it's not till you see someone else's story,

463
00:22:43.000 --> 00:22:44.040
you're like, oh my gosh,

464
00:22:44.040 --> 00:22:45.240
I can't believe she believed that

465
00:22:45.240 --> 00:22:46.760
or I can't believe she's doing that.

466
00:22:46.760 --> 00:22:48.400
But you could be just as guilty

467
00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:50.400
of having your own blind spot.

468
00:22:50.400 --> 00:22:53.720
So just make sure when you are commenting on people's posts

469
00:22:54.240 --> 00:22:56.200
that you just are super kind and super gracious

470
00:22:56.200 --> 00:22:58.360
because we want all of you to feel like

471
00:22:58.360 --> 00:23:01.920
you can share the good, bad, and ugly with us.

472
00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:03.120
So here's the thing.

473
00:23:03.120 --> 00:23:07.440
There's the video content, which in of itself is amazing,

474
00:23:07.440 --> 00:23:09.200
but the people who grow the most

475
00:23:09.200 --> 00:23:11.360
and get the most out of this program,

476
00:23:11.360 --> 00:23:13.120
they're people who show up here,

477
00:23:13.120 --> 00:23:14.680
they're people who engage,

478
00:23:14.680 --> 00:23:16.800
they're people who tell us what's going on,

479
00:23:16.800 --> 00:23:18.720
and even if you meet a great guy,

480
00:23:18.720 --> 00:23:22.160
you're not letting us walk you through that.

481
00:23:22.200 --> 00:23:24.280
We have walked people through cancer.

482
00:23:24.280 --> 00:23:26.120
We have walked people through losing their mother,

483
00:23:26.120 --> 00:23:28.160
their father, their children.

484
00:23:28.160 --> 00:23:31.880
We've walked with people through losing their job,

485
00:23:31.880 --> 00:23:33.120
getting a job.

486
00:23:33.120 --> 00:23:35.080
Like you guys, we are here to pray for you

487
00:23:35.080 --> 00:23:37.120
and be with you and be in community.

488
00:23:37.120 --> 00:23:39.520
One of the biggest complaints that most women have,

489
00:23:39.520 --> 00:23:42.160
especially when they're single over the age of 30,

490
00:23:42.160 --> 00:23:46.080
is that they feel like they have no similar community

491
00:23:46.080 --> 00:23:47.160
who get them.

492
00:23:47.160 --> 00:23:48.000
Like my church,

493
00:23:48.000 --> 00:23:49.720
they don't do enough for single people my age

494
00:23:49.720 --> 00:23:51.520
and all my married friends don't get it.

495
00:23:51.520 --> 00:23:52.520
We get it.

496
00:23:52.520 --> 00:23:54.320
We're all here and we get it.

497
00:23:54.320 --> 00:23:57.800
So don't throw away this gift of this incredible community.

498
00:23:57.800 --> 00:23:58.880
Stay engaged.

499
00:24:00.040 --> 00:24:01.320
Okay.

500
00:24:01.320 --> 00:24:03.840
And again, don't rush, don't rush, don't rush.

501
00:24:03.840 --> 00:24:06.520
Like we get people like, I'm ready for phase three.

502
00:24:06.520 --> 00:24:09.360
And we're like, you've been in phase two for a week.

503
00:24:09.360 --> 00:24:10.680
Like, and I get it.

504
00:24:10.680 --> 00:24:11.560
They're short videos.

505
00:24:11.560 --> 00:24:13.360
They're easy to just fly through,

506
00:24:13.360 --> 00:24:15.360
but here's what we want you to do.

507
00:24:15.360 --> 00:24:18.720
We want you to watch Dating 101

508
00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:20.600
and practice that for a week.

509
00:24:20.600 --> 00:24:21.840
Practice it.

510
00:24:21.840 --> 00:24:26.000
We want you to watch the Divine Feminine and practice that.

511
00:24:26.000 --> 00:24:29.200
See what God calls up and asks you to rise up.

512
00:24:29.200 --> 00:24:30.840
How could I be more feminine?

513
00:24:30.840 --> 00:24:34.160
How could I sit in that pocket a little bit more?

514
00:24:34.160 --> 00:24:35.600
Watch the online dating one.

515
00:24:35.600 --> 00:24:37.600
And even if you're never gonna do online dating,

516
00:24:37.600 --> 00:24:38.880
there's some really good nuggets in there

517
00:24:38.880 --> 00:24:40.600
about dating in general.

518
00:24:40.600 --> 00:24:42.320
How can I flirt more at the store?

519
00:24:42.320 --> 00:24:44.040
How can I be friendly over here?

520
00:24:44.040 --> 00:24:45.680
And then the boundaries one,

521
00:24:45.680 --> 00:24:47.400
even if you're not dating,

522
00:24:47.400 --> 00:24:50.200
the boundaries one is great content.

523
00:24:50.800 --> 00:24:52.400
Even if you're just dealing with your family.

524
00:24:52.400 --> 00:24:53.980
You guys, I started,

525
00:24:53.980 --> 00:24:56.320
I've been teaching on boundaries for over 20 years.

526
00:24:56.320 --> 00:24:58.120
Yes, I started with Townsend Cloud,

527
00:24:58.120 --> 00:24:59.320
just like everybody else,

528
00:24:59.320 --> 00:25:00.520
but I've gotten through.

529
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.280
three different levels of certification.

530
00:25:03.440 --> 00:25:05.940
And all of it is more and more boundary work.

531
00:25:05.940 --> 00:25:08.080
So I'm just sharing with you guys,

532
00:25:08.080 --> 00:25:10.440
everything that I've paid a lot of money to learn

533
00:25:10.440 --> 00:25:12.120
and practice out.

534
00:25:12.120 --> 00:25:16.620
So, okay, so Laura, I'm gonna pick on you

535
00:25:16.620 --> 00:25:19.000
for just a little bit, in just a moment,

536
00:25:19.000 --> 00:25:20.840
cause you're honest and brave.

537
00:25:20.840 --> 00:25:24.660
So let me just finish making sure I've covered everything.

538
00:25:26.820 --> 00:25:28.360
Because maybe in your questions,

539
00:25:28.360 --> 00:25:30.340
we're gonna start to unpack that.

540
00:25:30.340 --> 00:25:33.000
So if you've not trying to date, you guys,

541
00:25:33.000 --> 00:25:34.240
and here's the thing.

542
00:25:34.240 --> 00:25:35.640
This is why I do want you to,

543
00:25:35.640 --> 00:25:38.880
if you have not been on dates in a very, very long time,

544
00:25:38.880 --> 00:25:42.120
I really need you, God forgive me for saying this.

545
00:25:42.120 --> 00:25:44.840
I need you to like, go be nice to all the sweet,

546
00:25:44.840 --> 00:25:46.600
do we be nerdy, ugly guys

547
00:25:46.600 --> 00:25:49.520
that you would normally not say yes to online

548
00:25:49.520 --> 00:25:51.700
and just practice with them.

549
00:25:51.700 --> 00:25:55.220
Just get to know them, learn how to flirt,

550
00:25:55.220 --> 00:25:57.800
practice a video date, go on a first date.

551
00:25:58.240 --> 00:25:59.200
You're like, well, I don't want them to have to pay

552
00:25:59.200 --> 00:26:01.200
for dinner if I don't really like them, then don't.

553
00:26:01.200 --> 00:26:03.960
Like me, like I've got this cute little town,

554
00:26:03.960 --> 00:26:06.240
meet at the coffee shop and go for a walk,

555
00:26:06.240 --> 00:26:08.560
buy your own dang coffee, I don't care.

556
00:26:08.560 --> 00:26:11.000
Like you don't need the date to be expensive,

557
00:26:11.000 --> 00:26:12.300
it can be free.

558
00:26:12.300 --> 00:26:14.880
The weather is starting to get better.

559
00:26:14.880 --> 00:26:17.840
Go walk through the mall, go do an art crawl.

560
00:26:17.840 --> 00:26:20.360
Like there's so much you can find to do.

561
00:26:20.360 --> 00:26:23.640
And you guys, if he is a do we be ugly dude

562
00:26:23.640 --> 00:26:25.600
and you just gave him a fun Friday night,

563
00:26:25.600 --> 00:26:27.080
even if you never see him again,

564
00:26:27.080 --> 00:26:28.480
you gave him a fun Friday night

565
00:26:28.480 --> 00:26:30.100
and you're a fabulous person.

566
00:26:30.100 --> 00:26:31.320
So there was nothing lost.

567
00:26:31.320 --> 00:26:32.960
Well, like, I don't wanna waste his time.

568
00:26:32.960 --> 00:26:34.740
If he got to know you,

569
00:26:34.740 --> 00:26:37.160
because you're an amazing woman of God,

570
00:26:37.160 --> 00:26:39.400
it was not a waste of time for him, right?

571
00:26:39.400 --> 00:26:41.040
Like you could have blessed him

572
00:26:41.040 --> 00:26:42.540
even if you don't fall in love with him.

573
00:26:42.540 --> 00:26:45.240
So I wanna make sure for those of you who are like,

574
00:26:45.240 --> 00:26:47.720
I don't know, I'm not getting anywhere.

575
00:26:47.720 --> 00:26:50.680
I suspect it's cause you're swiping, swiping, swiping.

576
00:26:50.680 --> 00:26:52.020
I get it.

577
00:26:52.020 --> 00:26:54.120
Like, I mean, there are times if I'm not in the mood,

578
00:26:54.120 --> 00:26:57.640
I'm like, no, I don't even read anything.

579
00:26:57.640 --> 00:26:58.680
We aren't gonna do that.

580
00:26:58.680 --> 00:26:59.520
Okay.

581
00:27:02.280 --> 00:27:05.680
I'm gonna pause cause it's at the bottom of the hour.

582
00:27:05.680 --> 00:27:07.880
So Laura, I'm gonna put you in the hot seat

583
00:27:07.880 --> 00:27:08.840
cause we love you girl.

584
00:27:08.840 --> 00:27:10.420
And it's a small crowd here.

585
00:27:10.420 --> 00:27:11.560
We're all cheering you on.

586
00:27:11.560 --> 00:27:13.120
We're your sisters.

587
00:27:13.120 --> 00:27:14.760
No one's gonna shame you.

588
00:27:14.760 --> 00:27:16.740
It's not even on Facebook live right now.

589
00:27:16.740 --> 00:27:19.520
So like the only people seeing it are the 12 of you

590
00:27:19.520 --> 00:27:20.760
and whoever watches it.

591
00:27:20.760 --> 00:27:23.980
So Laura, tell me when you say I have tried,

592
00:27:24.840 --> 00:27:25.680
I haven't gotten anywhere.

593
00:27:25.680 --> 00:27:27.300
So tell me what you have tried.

594
00:27:30.500 --> 00:27:35.500
Well, I was, I'm talking to somebody on Facebook dating

595
00:27:37.180 --> 00:27:42.180
and we've been talking for about a week.

596
00:27:45.140 --> 00:27:46.660
We started talking last week.

597
00:27:46.660 --> 00:27:51.660
So I'd say about a week and a half.

598
00:27:51.740 --> 00:27:56.740
And I mean, I think we're having good conversations.

599
00:27:57.260 --> 00:28:02.260
And I asked him if he wanted to do a video chat

600
00:28:02.540 --> 00:28:05.440
last or this past weekend.

601
00:28:05.440 --> 00:28:10.440
And he said that he was fine with it,

602
00:28:11.620 --> 00:28:15.420
but he said he looked gross and I'm like, okay.

603
00:28:15.420 --> 00:28:19.100
So I said, it doesn't have to be today.

604
00:28:19.100 --> 00:28:21.660
It could be tomorrow after,

605
00:28:21.660 --> 00:28:23.620
I didn't say after I get home from church

606
00:28:23.620 --> 00:28:27.580
because I haven't even mentioned church at all to him.

607
00:28:29.460 --> 00:28:32.080
And I don't know what his belief system is.

608
00:28:33.420 --> 00:28:36.880
So yeah, I said, I'll be home after three o'clock

609
00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:38.860
if you wanna try then.

610
00:28:38.860 --> 00:28:43.580
And didn't hear anything, didn't hear anything, no response.

611
00:28:43.580 --> 00:28:48.580
And so I just figured he didn't want to.

612
00:28:50.980 --> 00:28:55.180
So I will say this, has he gone AWOL now?

613
00:28:55.180 --> 00:28:58.180
No, I mean, he sent me a compliment

614
00:28:59.620 --> 00:29:03.100
or he posted a compliment on my Facebook

615
00:29:03.100 --> 00:29:05.180
or on the dating app.

616
00:29:05.180 --> 00:29:07.680
So I thanked him for the compliment.

617
00:29:07.680 --> 00:29:10.260
And then we started talking again

618
00:29:10.260 --> 00:29:15.260
and we were asking each other different random questions.

619
00:29:17.180 --> 00:29:20.100
So would you say you're staying at level one questions

620
00:29:20.100 --> 00:29:23.740
or would you say you're starting to tweak into level two?

621
00:29:23.740 --> 00:29:28.740
I guess level one, like what kinds of food do you like?

622
00:29:28.860 --> 00:29:31.260
Super easy step, super easy step.

623
00:29:31.260 --> 00:29:35.540
And I noticed he liked to play video games.

624
00:29:35.540 --> 00:29:38.100
So I said, what video games do you like to play

625
00:29:38.140 --> 00:29:40.780
and this and that and the other stuff.

626
00:29:40.780 --> 00:29:44.620
And I mean, I've talked about my family a little

627
00:29:44.620 --> 00:29:49.620
but not too much, like my, you know, not a lot.

628
00:29:49.620 --> 00:29:52.420
And I said, what's your favorite holiday?

629
00:29:52.420 --> 00:29:55.340
And I said, you know, he said, Thanksgiving.

630
00:29:55.340 --> 00:29:57.780
And I said, he said, what about you?

631
00:29:57.780 --> 00:29:59.780
And I said, Easter.

632
00:29:59.780 --> 00:30:00.620
But I didn't.

633
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.600
didn't say why. I just said Easter.

634
00:30:03.360 --> 00:30:07.760
Don't be afraid, Laura, don't hide your faith. Like there is

635
00:30:07.760 --> 00:30:11.700
I'm just gonna pause you for a second, you guys. I'm not asking

636
00:30:11.700 --> 00:30:14.440
you get super spiritual with them. But I also don't think you

637
00:30:14.440 --> 00:30:18.680
should hide who you are. I think if it's Sunday, and you came

638
00:30:18.680 --> 00:30:21.480
home from church, you can say someone says to me, Oh, what did

639
00:30:21.480 --> 00:30:24.760
you do today? Well, I just got home back home from church. I am

640
00:30:24.760 --> 00:30:28.200
not ashamed of that. And I think it is okay. Now here's the

641
00:30:28.200 --> 00:30:31.600
thing. You don't have to say, Did you go to church today?

642
00:30:31.640 --> 00:30:35.320
Don't have to say it. I toss it out there. And I see if it

643
00:30:35.320 --> 00:30:39.880
lands and I see how it lands. Do you know I'm saying so I actually

644
00:30:39.880 --> 00:30:45.320
think, you know, it is okay to say I went to church today. So

645
00:30:45.360 --> 00:30:48.120
I'm going to say it's okay to share about your faith a little

646
00:30:48.120 --> 00:30:50.000
bit like, you know, oh, well, what are the things that are

647
00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:52.240
really important to you, Laura, like, you know, where we know

648
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:54.880
what kind of activities do you do? You know what, I like to

649
00:30:54.880 --> 00:30:57.960
hike. I like to go to local theater. You know, I'm really

650
00:30:57.960 --> 00:31:02.760
involved at my church. I like to walk my dog like you just

651
00:31:02.760 --> 00:31:08.840
list it as one of the things that that you do. So you know,

652
00:31:08.840 --> 00:31:12.680
I'm saying that's different than saying I grew up Catholic. And

653
00:31:12.680 --> 00:31:15.080
this is how I feel about faith. Like I'm not asking you to start

654
00:31:15.080 --> 00:31:19.200
divulging your faith story. But I think it is okay in those

655
00:31:19.200 --> 00:31:23.600
texting conversations for it. And I've seen some women go,

656
00:31:23.680 --> 00:31:25.960
well, like I let them know right away, I'm not gonna have sex

657
00:31:25.960 --> 00:31:29.040
before marriage. And like, I'm a believer in Jesus, that's too

658
00:31:29.040 --> 00:31:32.560
much information for texting, I guess too much, like, it's not

659
00:31:32.560 --> 00:31:38.920
appropriate. And so a, I think you should not hide. And so this

660
00:31:38.920 --> 00:31:42.000
is for anybody, you should not hide your faith. I think it's

661
00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:45.480
okay to not go forward with it. But I don't want you to hide it.

662
00:31:45.720 --> 00:31:49.000
The other thing is, we have to be willing for the conversation

663
00:31:49.000 --> 00:31:52.640
to stop. So that has happened to me, Laura, when a guy said to

664
00:31:53.160 --> 00:31:56.360
me, well, here's my number, can't we just talk? I don't like

665
00:31:56.360 --> 00:32:01.280
the way I look. And I wrote, well, at some point, I here's my

666
00:32:01.280 --> 00:32:05.240
answer. Well, I'm not texting you for the heck of it. I

667
00:32:05.240 --> 00:32:08.720
actually am looking to date in real life, which means sooner

668
00:32:08.720 --> 00:32:13.360
or later, we're gonna see each other. And so you want a mat

669
00:32:13.360 --> 00:32:18.480
mature, masculine man who is okay with himself, and he's

670
00:32:18.480 --> 00:32:22.520
willing to let you see him. So I would say that's a big yellow

671
00:32:22.520 --> 00:32:26.160
flag, that he's not willing to let you see him. He could

672
00:32:26.160 --> 00:32:30.760
either be not who he says he is, or he could literally just be an

673
00:32:30.760 --> 00:32:35.360
insecure man, or 10 years older than the photo you're seeing, or

674
00:32:35.360 --> 00:32:38.440
100 pounds heavier than the photo you're seeing. It doesn't

675
00:32:38.440 --> 00:32:43.000
matter. Jackie always warns us it never serves us well, when we

676
00:32:43.000 --> 00:32:47.040
go out with somebody with very low self esteem. So for whatever

677
00:32:47.040 --> 00:32:50.280
the reason, so Laura, what you need to do so and this isn't

678
00:32:50.280 --> 00:32:54.840
about you. So when you say, I'm not getting anywhere, this is a

679
00:32:54.840 --> 00:32:59.360
him issue. It's not a you issue. You just say, Hey, Larry, I'm

680
00:32:59.360 --> 00:33:02.320
just making up a name. Hey, Larry, you know what, let me be

681
00:33:02.320 --> 00:33:05.680
clear. If I haven't been clear. I am doing this because I want

682
00:33:05.680 --> 00:33:08.440
to meet men in real life and date them in real life, which

683
00:33:08.440 --> 00:33:11.320
means sooner or later, we're going to have to do video chat

684
00:33:11.320 --> 00:33:14.960
or see each other in person for coffee. If you're not open to

685
00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:18.440
that. I'm not sure what we're doing here because I don't want

686
00:33:18.440 --> 00:33:22.600
to keep texting to you for the next few weeks. Because Oh,

687
00:33:23.600 --> 00:33:26.520
sorry. No, no, no, go ahead. How do you feel about doing

688
00:33:26.520 --> 00:33:28.760
something like that? Does that feel too big for you?

689
00:33:28.960 --> 00:33:35.280
I mean, I asked on Facebook what I should do, because I didn't

690
00:33:35.280 --> 00:33:41.680
hear back and Bethany suggested not to ask him again, let him

691
00:33:41.680 --> 00:33:49.040
ask, ask, ask for a video date. So I haven't really asked him if

692
00:33:49.080 --> 00:33:54.360
he wants to do a video date. And last night, we were talking,

693
00:33:54.360 --> 00:34:00.920
chatting back and forth. And he asked me a question. I wasn't. I

694
00:34:00.920 --> 00:34:02.200
was like, what?

695
00:34:03.600 --> 00:34:04.360
Did he ask you?

696
00:34:04.640 --> 00:34:10.239
He was like, if you could do anything with me for 24 hours,

697
00:34:10.239 --> 00:34:15.040
what would it be? And I'm just like, I don't know, just hang

698
00:34:15.040 --> 00:34:19.280
out. Like, I don't know. And I said, I'm just trying to take

699
00:34:19.280 --> 00:34:24.000
this thing slow and meet people. And you know, that kind of

700
00:34:24.000 --> 00:34:29.040
thing. And he said that, you know, that's not a bad thing.

701
00:34:29.520 --> 00:34:37.639
And I messaged him today, asking him, hi, said, Hi, how are you?

702
00:34:37.679 --> 00:34:38.800
No response.

703
00:34:39.679 --> 00:34:46.159
Yeah, so it see. I appreciate that. That's what Bethany said.

704
00:34:46.159 --> 00:34:48.960
And I understand what she's trying to say. She's trying to

705
00:34:48.960 --> 00:34:52.679
say, we don't want to be the pushy ones. And I guess here's

706
00:34:52.679 --> 00:34:55.600
the difference. I'm not saying you should ask for the video

707
00:34:55.600 --> 00:34:59.880
date again. I'm actually just saying I would take a stand.

708
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.080
Because I actually think most of us can't keep carrying on a text conversation

709
00:35:05.980 --> 00:35:10.540
Without it getting too intimate at some point. You're gonna run out of things to say and

710
00:35:11.460 --> 00:35:17.260
Lo and behold what a schmo decide to do he wants to he wanted a sexual answer out of you

711
00:35:17.260 --> 00:35:22.140
No guy asked that question. He like what am I? What would you do with me for 24 hours?

712
00:35:22.740 --> 00:35:26.860
and okay, so my recommendation on this guy I

713
00:35:27.900 --> 00:35:29.900
Would not reach out to him

714
00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:32.080
I would let him do all the reaching out

715
00:35:32.200 --> 00:35:36.480
But I really want you to lean and again because you've not shared your faith with him

716
00:35:36.480 --> 00:35:38.480
And you don't know if he has any faith at all

717
00:35:39.120 --> 00:35:41.120
You don't know if he's a good guy

718
00:35:41.240 --> 00:35:43.240
Like does he have a job?

719
00:35:44.400 --> 00:35:46.400
Yeah, what's he do?

720
00:35:47.320 --> 00:35:54.660
It says on his profile he works at a factory has he talked about his job at all no

721
00:35:55.620 --> 00:35:57.620
Okay, but I thought

722
00:35:58.140 --> 00:36:04.300
It would be fine or not fine, but I thought since he knows somebody that I know

723
00:36:05.900 --> 00:36:09.380
Should I ask that person that he claims to know about

724
00:36:10.140 --> 00:36:11.300
No

725
00:36:11.300 --> 00:36:13.300
No, I honestly

726
00:36:13.420 --> 00:36:14.980
My advice

727
00:36:14.980 --> 00:36:18.100
Somebody who's had to be out there a really long time. I mean, here's the thing

728
00:36:18.100 --> 00:36:23.740
I'm not I totally understand what Bethany is trying to say. She's trying to say don't force the video date

729
00:36:23.740 --> 00:36:27.060
I get that but for me for me

730
00:36:27.060 --> 00:36:32.180
I'm only gonna text so long, but if the texting is just BS

731
00:36:33.020 --> 00:36:38.060
What's your favorite color? Do you like fish? Do you like chicken? I got time for that like

732
00:36:39.060 --> 00:36:44.660
Because I'm also a strong well and maybe because you're sweeter than me. You seem way sweeter than me

733
00:36:44.660 --> 00:36:50.340
And so Bethany's probably gonna say a sweet guy is gonna be a best the best guy for Laura

734
00:36:50.420 --> 00:36:53.620
Like I'm a bull in a china shop, right and so like if

735
00:36:54.980 --> 00:36:57.740
That wouldn't like I would but I would just barrel over him

736
00:36:57.740 --> 00:37:01.500
So and again see look I'm working on my divine feminine bring it down a notch

737
00:37:01.940 --> 00:37:07.580
So it probably works for you. I would let him do all the leading now. Don't ask him questions

738
00:37:07.580 --> 00:37:15.300
Don't start the day reaching out to him. See what he does. Remember how Jackie talks about it's okay for us to drop the hanky

739
00:37:15.300 --> 00:37:19.100
But then we have to see what they do with it. You have to see what he does with this

740
00:37:19.100 --> 00:37:23.700
I kind of feel like that's an inappropriate question because

741
00:37:25.020 --> 00:37:29.140
It's a weird question to ask somebody. What would you do with me for 24 hours?

742
00:37:30.420 --> 00:37:33.060
Because 24 hours you guys includes bedtime

743
00:37:33.540 --> 00:37:34.860
Yeah

744
00:37:34.860 --> 00:37:38.060
That's what I've thought. I'm like so it's a me

745
00:37:38.060 --> 00:37:44.580
He's it's a very leading question and you probably gave a very sweet innocent answer and that kind of bummed him out

746
00:37:45.340 --> 00:37:49.580
So Laura no matter what you're gonna keep talking to other men

747
00:37:51.060 --> 00:37:55.740
I'm not earned solo status. So you're gonna talk to other men. I'm crying

748
00:37:56.900 --> 00:37:59.900
Yeah, so we're gonna be doing it in person

749
00:38:00.460 --> 00:38:05.860
Everywhere you go. You're gonna start smiling and saying hi and next week when you come back

750
00:38:05.860 --> 00:38:12.000
You're gonna tell us about some random stranger that you let hold the door open for you or you said

751
00:38:12.000 --> 00:38:15.180
Thank you to or he reached for the bag of flour for you

752
00:38:16.080 --> 00:38:19.480
so that's your homework assignment is you're gonna get a

753
00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:26.960
Gentleman to either open the door for you or reach for something for you because you smiled girl. You're so sweet. You're beautiful

754
00:38:27.360 --> 00:38:29.560
so just be super friendly and

755
00:38:30.560 --> 00:38:35.120
So especially if the online dating things not getting you anywhere and you're in a lull

756
00:38:35.760 --> 00:38:38.780
Then put your energy into in-person stuff

757
00:38:39.780 --> 00:38:41.740
That's my that's my challenge to you

758
00:38:41.740 --> 00:38:46.480
Okay, who else wants to go who else wants to come in the hot seat who is ready for me in the hot seat?

759
00:38:46.480 --> 00:38:50.400
I see Heather Maria Joanna. All right

760
00:38:51.440 --> 00:38:54.060
Parrish you got your camera on to who wants to go next?

761
00:38:56.300 --> 00:38:59.020
She's like heck no man after that I'm not going I

762
00:39:00.460 --> 00:39:03.920
Mean I can't go but I haven't been in on a day

763
00:39:04.700 --> 00:39:07.820
How long have you been in how long have you been in phase to catch me up?

764
00:39:08.820 --> 00:39:13.300
This is first week first week. Have you watched any of the videos yet?

765
00:39:13.300 --> 00:39:19.620
I watched the online dating and I started watching the divine feminine good

766
00:39:20.060 --> 00:39:24.060
Yeah, do you have any questions for me after watching those two?

767
00:39:26.260 --> 00:39:28.260
Anything jump out at you

768
00:39:28.260 --> 00:39:32.980
No, one thing that I comment, you know on Facebook and Bethany gave back to me

769
00:39:32.980 --> 00:39:36.520
It's about you know, sometimes I am you know like dating, right?

770
00:39:36.760 --> 00:39:42.640
But most of the guys that kind of put me like check like I don't like them

771
00:39:43.480 --> 00:39:48.240
And the one that I like then they don't they don't say nothing

772
00:39:48.680 --> 00:39:51.960
So you heard what I just said before if you've not been dating

773
00:39:52.040 --> 00:39:55.720
How long has it been since you were dating on the dating scene? Has it been a while?

774
00:39:56.240 --> 00:39:59.960
Yeah, like nine years. Okay, so it's been nine years

775
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.780
Here's girl, so you need to practice.

776
00:40:02.780 --> 00:40:05.460
So all those men you are swiping left on

777
00:40:05.460 --> 00:40:08.380
because they're not cute and they seem a little weird,

778
00:40:08.380 --> 00:40:11.780
you're gonna let a few of them, if they have a nice bio,

779
00:40:11.780 --> 00:40:14.420
they seem like, you know, you guys, here's the thing.

780
00:40:14.420 --> 00:40:17.940
If he looks like a normal guy, you know,

781
00:40:17.940 --> 00:40:20.460
maybe he looks like it's a little bit of a mug shot

782
00:40:20.460 --> 00:40:23.340
in one shot, or like he's in his car

783
00:40:23.340 --> 00:40:26.140
because he's got no friends to take the photo.

784
00:40:26.140 --> 00:40:29.020
And, or he even does the dreaded one in the bathroom,

785
00:40:29.020 --> 00:40:30.880
but he's got a nice suit on, you know,

786
00:40:30.880 --> 00:40:33.320
and he's not showing the toilet.

787
00:40:33.320 --> 00:40:35.080
You're gonna give that guy a chance

788
00:40:35.080 --> 00:40:39.520
so you can practice what we just talked about.

789
00:40:39.520 --> 00:40:41.540
Because you don't care, right?

790
00:40:41.540 --> 00:40:42.860
You don't care.

791
00:40:42.860 --> 00:40:45.440
And you're gonna be nice to a guy

792
00:40:45.440 --> 00:40:48.540
who normally is getting swiped left on all day.

793
00:40:48.540 --> 00:40:51.720
So he's gonna feel grateful that he got to meet you

794
00:40:51.720 --> 00:40:53.280
and chat with you.

795
00:40:53.280 --> 00:40:55.120
You're not offering to marry him,

796
00:40:55.120 --> 00:40:56.520
so you don't owe him anything.

797
00:40:56.520 --> 00:40:59.580
So that's what you're gonna do in the next couple of weeks.

798
00:40:59.580 --> 00:41:02.620
You're gonna give the dweeby dude a shot

799
00:41:02.620 --> 00:41:04.020
so you can practice in dating,

800
00:41:04.020 --> 00:41:06.100
cause it's been nine years.

801
00:41:06.100 --> 00:41:07.760
And so you gotta get some practice on

802
00:41:07.760 --> 00:41:10.060
because we wanna make sure you feel comfortable

803
00:41:10.060 --> 00:41:12.200
in your skin so that when the hot guy,

804
00:41:12.200 --> 00:41:15.820
or the guy you really like, reaches out to you,

805
00:41:15.820 --> 00:41:16.780
you're gonna be ready.

806
00:41:16.780 --> 00:41:18.760
You're not gonna ruin it.

807
00:41:18.760 --> 00:41:19.620
All right.

808
00:41:19.620 --> 00:41:20.640
Yeah, okay.

809
00:41:20.640 --> 00:41:21.480
You bet.

810
00:41:22.540 --> 00:41:23.440
Thank you.

811
00:41:23.440 --> 00:41:24.620
You bet.

812
00:41:24.620 --> 00:41:25.460
So, yeah.

813
00:41:25.460 --> 00:41:27.960
So thank you for all of this so far this evening.

814
00:41:27.960 --> 00:41:29.300
It's been very helpful.

815
00:41:29.300 --> 00:41:32.280
I had an opportunity to be on the afternoon session.

816
00:41:32.280 --> 00:41:35.720
And so I had two dates last weekend.

817
00:41:35.720 --> 00:41:38.400
So you had Jackie and me all in one day.

818
00:41:38.400 --> 00:41:39.240
That's awesome.

819
00:41:39.240 --> 00:41:41.640
I know, I'm taking full advantage.

820
00:41:43.880 --> 00:41:45.800
So I asked my question about,

821
00:41:45.800 --> 00:41:48.280
so this afternoon the question was about

822
00:41:48.280 --> 00:41:51.020
the one gentleman that I went on a date with.

823
00:41:51.020 --> 00:41:52.260
And she answered that question.

824
00:41:52.280 --> 00:41:56.440
And that had to do with how much to ask him about his faith

825
00:41:56.440 --> 00:41:58.080
because he hadn't been very open.

826
00:41:58.080 --> 00:42:00.880
So you've confirmed that again tonight.

827
00:42:00.880 --> 00:42:01.720
So my question is the other-

828
00:42:01.720 --> 00:42:03.440
Did she say like a little bit,

829
00:42:03.440 --> 00:42:07.280
you can kind of dance around it, but not like go...

830
00:42:07.280 --> 00:42:08.100
Yeah, she did.

831
00:42:08.100 --> 00:42:08.940
It's funny.

832
00:42:08.940 --> 00:42:11.360
I have my notes right in front of me.

833
00:42:11.360 --> 00:42:12.200
What did she say?

834
00:42:12.200 --> 00:42:13.020
I'm curious.

835
00:42:13.020 --> 00:42:15.800
She's just basically saying, you know,

836
00:42:15.800 --> 00:42:18.200
to share that, you know, hey, this is something that,

837
00:42:18.200 --> 00:42:19.640
I mean, I grew up in the faith.

838
00:42:19.640 --> 00:42:21.240
This is very important to me.

839
00:42:21.240 --> 00:42:24.380
It's, you know, it's integral to who I am.

840
00:42:24.380 --> 00:42:26.060
I'm just wondering, you know,

841
00:42:26.060 --> 00:42:29.020
I know that I want to share my faith with someone

842
00:42:29.020 --> 00:42:30.360
in a relationship.

843
00:42:30.360 --> 00:42:32.940
Is that, you know, what are your, you know,

844
00:42:32.940 --> 00:42:33.780
what do you think about that?

845
00:42:33.780 --> 00:42:36.180
See, I think the older we get ladies,

846
00:42:36.180 --> 00:42:37.580
I think it's okay to say that.

847
00:42:37.580 --> 00:42:40.180
Now that's different than like, hey,

848
00:42:40.180 --> 00:42:42.180
I have a faith and it's important to me.

849
00:42:42.180 --> 00:42:44.180
That's really different than going,

850
00:42:44.180 --> 00:42:46.300
I need to make sure that you've been baptized.

851
00:42:46.300 --> 00:42:47.260
You've done the dunk.

852
00:42:47.260 --> 00:42:49.220
You've been baptized in the Holy Spirit.

853
00:42:49.240 --> 00:42:51.360
I'm gonna check for your church attendance.

854
00:42:51.360 --> 00:42:53.000
Are you active in your church?

855
00:42:53.000 --> 00:42:54.480
What church do you go to?

856
00:42:54.480 --> 00:42:57.960
Those are much more specific in the practice.

857
00:42:57.960 --> 00:43:00.800
You're just trying to get this first level,

858
00:43:00.800 --> 00:43:03.640
which is what I was trying to do with the widowed guy.

859
00:43:03.640 --> 00:43:05.400
And clearly, and he finally admitted

860
00:43:05.400 --> 00:43:10.400
that he goes to a church, but I'm thinking, no.

861
00:43:10.760 --> 00:43:14.080
And so, and especially for some of you,

862
00:43:14.080 --> 00:43:15.660
depending on if you're not as far along

863
00:43:15.660 --> 00:43:17.040
in your faith journey,

864
00:43:17.040 --> 00:43:18.400
you might not ask that right up front

865
00:43:18.400 --> 00:43:20.300
like Heather would or I would.

866
00:43:20.300 --> 00:43:21.480
But I love how she said that,

867
00:43:21.480 --> 00:43:23.060
because you're just letting them know

868
00:43:23.060 --> 00:43:24.940
that it's really important to you.

869
00:43:24.940 --> 00:43:28.540
That would be no different than a guy says to me,

870
00:43:28.540 --> 00:43:30.980
and guys put this on their page all the time.

871
00:43:30.980 --> 00:43:33.420
Working out is really important to me.

872
00:43:33.420 --> 00:43:35.100
He wants a girl.

873
00:43:35.100 --> 00:43:37.740
He didn't say he wanted a skinny girl.

874
00:43:37.740 --> 00:43:38.940
He said he wanted a girl

875
00:43:38.940 --> 00:43:40.500
who's gonna go to the gym with him

876
00:43:40.500 --> 00:43:43.260
and who's gonna value eating healthy and working out.

877
00:43:43.260 --> 00:43:46.220
So to me, you saying what you did about the faith

878
00:43:46.240 --> 00:43:48.400
is no different than saying,

879
00:43:48.400 --> 00:43:49.920
and I would say, like, look,

880
00:43:49.920 --> 00:43:53.120
I've been really working on my nutrition

881
00:43:53.120 --> 00:43:57.080
and I work out very seriously, four days a week.

882
00:43:57.080 --> 00:43:58.800
And so I'm gonna wanna make sure

883
00:43:58.800 --> 00:44:01.600
that that's important for somebody that I'm partnering with

884
00:44:01.600 --> 00:44:02.760
who's gonna be able to share in that

885
00:44:02.760 --> 00:44:04.760
and kind of encourage me along.

886
00:44:04.760 --> 00:44:06.040
And it sounds like, perfect.

887
00:44:06.040 --> 00:44:07.940
So you had another date since this afternoon.

888
00:44:07.940 --> 00:44:09.280
Is that what we're saying?

889
00:44:09.280 --> 00:44:10.760
No, there's two different guys.

890
00:44:10.760 --> 00:44:15.760
And so I had the date,

891
00:44:16.320 --> 00:44:19.280
with the first gentleman,

892
00:44:19.280 --> 00:44:21.120
and I did post about this in the Facebook group,

893
00:44:21.120 --> 00:44:25.160
but he is someone very different that I normally,

894
00:44:25.160 --> 00:44:28.760
he's widowed, he was married for 33 years.

895
00:44:28.760 --> 00:44:33.760
She passed away in 2021 and he's not my usual.

896
00:44:33.960 --> 00:44:36.240
So I said, yes, and I keep saying, yes.

897
00:44:36.240 --> 00:44:40.040
He's asked me out to a concert on Friday

898
00:44:40.040 --> 00:44:42.160
and he's very nice.

899
00:44:42.160 --> 00:44:43.280
He's very sweet.

900
00:44:43.280 --> 00:44:44.960
That's just the area that I haven't gotten

901
00:44:44.980 --> 00:44:46.700
a really clear piece on.

902
00:44:46.700 --> 00:44:48.800
And so that's him.

903
00:44:48.800 --> 00:44:51.580
The question I have for you has to do

904
00:44:51.580 --> 00:44:54.900
with a little bit more of a long distance relationship.

905
00:44:54.900 --> 00:44:59.900
And after last week's coaching, I decided to give it a try.

906
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.080
with the second guy that I had the date with

907
00:45:04.080 --> 00:45:07.720
over the weekend, and he's only three hours away,

908
00:45:07.720 --> 00:45:10.560
which, I mean, that's still a chunk, right,

909
00:45:10.560 --> 00:45:13.200
if you're trying to get to know someone.

910
00:45:13.200 --> 00:45:15.420
But that date went really well.

911
00:45:16.720 --> 00:45:21.040
We, you know, we met for a town in between

912
00:45:22.480 --> 00:45:26.420
and had a walk in a very public park,

913
00:45:26.420 --> 00:45:28.340
but just the conversation flowed.

914
00:45:28.340 --> 00:45:31.160
He's very clearly, he shares my values

915
00:45:31.160 --> 00:45:32.840
and is a strong Christian.

916
00:45:32.840 --> 00:45:37.720
And so I've been, I've done a lot of hard work.

917
00:45:37.720 --> 00:45:40.000
I know I can see where I've gone in the back,

918
00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:42.040
you know, gone wrong in the past.

919
00:45:42.040 --> 00:45:44.180
And I love the, you know, I'm God defended,

920
00:45:44.180 --> 00:45:46.480
that I know, you know, it's gonna,

921
00:45:46.480 --> 00:45:47.440
things are gonna show up.

922
00:45:47.440 --> 00:45:49.780
And so I guess my question is,

923
00:45:49.780 --> 00:45:52.880
any advice or suggestions that you have?

924
00:45:52.880 --> 00:45:57.880
The way we left it is he did say he wants to see me again.

925
00:45:57.900 --> 00:46:01.780
We both mentioned that we have time Thursday evening.

926
00:46:01.780 --> 00:46:05.100
He has upped his game from texting before the date

927
00:46:05.100 --> 00:46:07.160
to texting after the date.

928
00:46:07.160 --> 00:46:11.060
And so, I mean, it seems to be going in the right direction,

929
00:46:11.060 --> 00:46:15.180
but obviously, I think what I'm asking for validation on

930
00:46:15.180 --> 00:46:16.620
is it seems to me at this point,

931
00:46:16.620 --> 00:46:18.700
and I think this is what I've heard in the teachings,

932
00:46:18.700 --> 00:46:21.860
right, is we can do a fair amount of dropping the hanky

933
00:46:21.860 --> 00:46:24.620
ahead of the first date, but after,

934
00:46:24.620 --> 00:46:26.460
and especially for long distance, right,

935
00:46:26.460 --> 00:46:28.960
after that, they have to,

936
00:46:28.960 --> 00:46:31.040
and Jackie said that, I think, earlier.

937
00:46:31.040 --> 00:46:33.540
Yeah, it's true, they need to start taking the lead.

938
00:46:33.540 --> 00:46:35.160
They need to start taking the lead.

939
00:46:35.160 --> 00:46:38.760
And that's, and you're looking for consistency

940
00:46:38.760 --> 00:46:40.840
in long distance.

941
00:46:40.840 --> 00:46:43.600
And so the goal would be,

942
00:46:43.600 --> 00:46:46.460
so you've done one video date and one live date?

943
00:46:46.460 --> 00:46:47.300
Yeah.

944
00:46:47.300 --> 00:46:48.140
Yeah. Perfect.

945
00:46:48.140 --> 00:46:51.320
And so your goal would be that you'd be seeing him

946
00:46:51.320 --> 00:46:53.080
at least once a week.

947
00:46:53.080 --> 00:46:54.280
That would be your goal.

948
00:46:54.340 --> 00:46:55.820
And it may not always be able,

949
00:46:55.820 --> 00:47:00.220
because it's three hours, and so it's enough distance

950
00:47:00.220 --> 00:47:02.420
that you could have a busy week,

951
00:47:02.420 --> 00:47:06.820
and I would argue your goal would be at least one in person

952
00:47:06.820 --> 00:47:09.620
every other week, and then a video date.

953
00:47:09.620 --> 00:47:12.140
And then make sure it's like a fun video date,

954
00:47:12.140 --> 00:47:15.100
and say like, hey, we can't make the schedule work

955
00:47:15.100 --> 00:47:18.700
this week, why don't we do like categories?

956
00:47:18.700 --> 00:47:21.020
Why don't we do like, let's cook a meal together?

957
00:47:21.020 --> 00:47:23.500
Like literally make it a date.

958
00:47:23.560 --> 00:47:25.920
Like I just coached a girl in the program.

959
00:47:25.920 --> 00:47:28.180
Y'all, she's about, she's just gotten to level three

960
00:47:28.180 --> 00:47:29.880
with this guy, like exclusive,

961
00:47:29.880 --> 00:47:33.160
and she's about to go to Kuwait for 13 months.

962
00:47:33.160 --> 00:47:37.480
And her and I came up with a whole week's pattern

963
00:47:37.480 --> 00:47:39.040
of different things that they do.

964
00:47:39.040 --> 00:47:41.320
Like on Mondays, they're gonna go walking together.

965
00:47:41.320 --> 00:47:43.680
On Tuesdays, they're gonna cook dinner together.

966
00:47:43.680 --> 00:47:45.880
On Wednesdays, they're gonna play a game together.

967
00:47:45.880 --> 00:47:49.200
Because I said, if you're gonna be video dating

968
00:47:49.200 --> 00:47:51.320
five nights a week for the next 13 months,

969
00:47:52.300 --> 00:47:53.860
it's gonna be really hard.

970
00:47:53.860 --> 00:47:55.420
So mix it up.

971
00:47:55.420 --> 00:47:57.180
And so that's my encouragement to you.

972
00:47:57.180 --> 00:47:58.540
And this is my encouragement to anybody

973
00:47:58.540 --> 00:48:00.620
with long distance dating,

974
00:48:00.620 --> 00:48:03.740
is when they can't get to you, make it a date.

975
00:48:03.740 --> 00:48:06.740
Like just say, hey, let's do Friday night six to eight.

976
00:48:06.740 --> 00:48:10.220
You dress up, I dress up, and you treat it like a date

977
00:48:10.220 --> 00:48:13.260
and not like pillow talk in the bedroom

978
00:48:13.260 --> 00:48:15.460
and you're in your T-shirt, you know, kind of thing.

979
00:48:15.460 --> 00:48:18.780
Cause it can get too much there.

980
00:48:18.800 --> 00:48:22.840
But always let him know, Heather, after every date,

981
00:48:22.840 --> 00:48:25.740
how much you loved it and you wanna see him again.

982
00:48:25.740 --> 00:48:28.120
And you guys, it's embarrassing, it's hard to do it.

983
00:48:28.120 --> 00:48:29.360
You're like, I don't want to,

984
00:48:29.360 --> 00:48:30.880
what if he doesn't wanna see me again?

985
00:48:30.880 --> 00:48:33.080
Fine, it's awkward for the moment,

986
00:48:33.080 --> 00:48:36.360
but you'll never worry that you weren't clear.

987
00:48:37.240 --> 00:48:39.800
And it is so much better to leave a date.

988
00:48:39.800 --> 00:48:41.760
So I always say to a guy at the end of the day,

989
00:48:41.760 --> 00:48:43.440
if I wanna see him again, oh my gosh,

990
00:48:43.440 --> 00:48:44.340
I had such a great time.

991
00:48:44.340 --> 00:48:46.040
Like the guy, the widowed guy, I said it.

992
00:48:46.040 --> 00:48:47.520
Like, oh my gosh, I love talking to you.

993
00:48:47.520 --> 00:48:48.820
I'd love to see you again.

994
00:48:50.300 --> 00:48:51.780
And I hear from him, you know what?

995
00:48:51.780 --> 00:48:52.840
It's okay.

996
00:48:52.840 --> 00:48:54.820
Like, did it bum me out?

997
00:48:54.820 --> 00:48:56.060
It bummed me out.

998
00:48:56.060 --> 00:48:58.180
But at least I'm not sitting here wondering,

999
00:48:58.180 --> 00:49:01.000
well, maybe I should have, maybe I should text him now.

1000
00:49:01.000 --> 00:49:02.540
Maybe I should message him.

1001
00:49:02.540 --> 00:49:04.920
No, in the moment, you're gonna say,

1002
00:49:04.920 --> 00:49:06.740
I had a great time, I'd love to see you again.

1003
00:49:06.740 --> 00:49:08.860
Now, if you don't wanna see him again, or you're not sure,

1004
00:49:08.860 --> 00:49:11.380
you just say, I had a lovely time, thank you so much.

1005
00:49:11.380 --> 00:49:12.980
And then you turn and walk away.

1006
00:49:15.060 --> 00:49:16.680
If you know, and then you can decide

1007
00:49:16.680 --> 00:49:18.300
if they ask you out right on that second date.

1008
00:49:18.300 --> 00:49:19.460
But the fact that he's already booked

1009
00:49:19.460 --> 00:49:21.220
another date with you is great.

1010
00:49:21.220 --> 00:49:24.340
So you're always gonna be encouraging.

1011
00:49:24.340 --> 00:49:25.500
Cause somebody asked that question,

1012
00:49:25.500 --> 00:49:27.060
I don't know if it was in phase two or phase three

1013
00:49:27.060 --> 00:49:28.580
about reciprocating.

1014
00:49:28.580 --> 00:49:31.300
And so that's, in my way, that's reciprocating.

1015
00:49:31.300 --> 00:49:32.680
Like you're saying, thank you so much.

1016
00:49:32.680 --> 00:49:34.500
I really appreciate you driving to come get me.

1017
00:49:34.500 --> 00:49:38.100
Or, but, so that's my advice to you

1018
00:49:38.100 --> 00:49:39.280
with long distance dating.

1019
00:49:39.280 --> 00:49:42.860
Try to at least have intentional time once a week with them.

1020
00:49:42.860 --> 00:49:45.100
If you start to spread it out longer than that,

1021
00:49:45.100 --> 00:49:48.000
and you start just texting, it's gonna either,

1022
00:49:48.000 --> 00:49:49.200
it's gonna fizzle out.

1023
00:49:49.200 --> 00:49:51.440
It just, cause it's hard.

1024
00:49:51.440 --> 00:49:55.640
But three hours is, and I would also encourage you,

1025
00:49:55.640 --> 00:49:58.380
like, did you guys meet halfway this first time?

1026
00:49:58.380 --> 00:49:59.220
We did.

1027
00:49:59.220 --> 00:50:00.060
Yeah.

1028
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.000
I also made it clear, it was almost like

1029
00:50:05.040 --> 00:50:07.680
some other voice came into my head when I said to him,

1030
00:50:07.680 --> 00:50:10.600
and just so you know where I'm at,

1031
00:50:10.600 --> 00:50:12.640
three hours is too far for anything

1032
00:50:12.640 --> 00:50:14.480
other than very serious commitment.

1033
00:50:14.480 --> 00:50:17.160
I mean, it was, and I know,

1034
00:50:17.160 --> 00:50:19.080
and I think that's the tricky part, right,

1035
00:50:19.080 --> 00:50:20.840
is that I've been hearing,

1036
00:50:20.840 --> 00:50:22.320
you have to accelerate a little bit

1037
00:50:22.320 --> 00:50:23.840
when you are only seeing each other.

1038
00:50:23.840 --> 00:50:24.880
And here's the thing, you guys,

1039
00:50:24.880 --> 00:50:28.860
the word that you guys can use is intentional.

1040
00:50:28.900 --> 00:50:31.620
That's a really safe word to use

1041
00:50:31.620 --> 00:50:34.900
because I only want a serious marriage-minded man

1042
00:50:34.900 --> 00:50:35.780
or something like that.

1043
00:50:35.780 --> 00:50:37.700
If we say serious or committed,

1044
00:50:37.700 --> 00:50:39.100
that might be too much too soon.

1045
00:50:39.100 --> 00:50:40.140
But if you just say, look,

1046
00:50:40.140 --> 00:50:43.200
I know long distance is a pain,

1047
00:50:43.200 --> 00:50:44.660
and usually for it to work,

1048
00:50:44.660 --> 00:50:46.740
both people have to be in it to win it.

1049
00:50:46.740 --> 00:50:49.980
That's the phrase that Jackie uses, in it to win it,

1050
00:50:49.980 --> 00:50:52.340
which means we're gonna have to be intentional

1051
00:50:52.340 --> 00:50:55.740
about booking time to see each other regularly

1052
00:50:55.740 --> 00:50:57.820
if we think this is gonna go anywhere.

1053
00:50:57.820 --> 00:51:01.460
Or for at least for us to give it a real shot.

1054
00:51:01.460 --> 00:51:04.140
If that's something you're willing to invest in,

1055
00:51:04.140 --> 00:51:06.340
I am, until we know better.

1056
00:51:06.340 --> 00:51:08.700
And we may decide no at some point,

1057
00:51:08.700 --> 00:51:11.120
but that's really the only way we're gonna do this

1058
00:51:11.120 --> 00:51:14.360
is if we make intentional face-to-face time.

1059
00:51:14.360 --> 00:51:15.980
Sometimes it's gonna be in person,

1060
00:51:15.980 --> 00:51:17.140
sometimes it's gonna be,

1061
00:51:17.140 --> 00:51:18.180
now when you meet on Thursday,

1062
00:51:18.180 --> 00:51:21.100
are you guys gonna meet live or on video?

1063
00:51:21.100 --> 00:51:23.780
So we've talked about, and he hasn't confirmed yet,

1064
00:51:23.780 --> 00:51:26.580
and I am waiting for him to do the confirmation, right?

1065
00:51:26.580 --> 00:51:29.260
But what we've talked about is to meet halfway again.

1066
00:51:29.260 --> 00:51:30.340
Because it was actually,

1067
00:51:30.340 --> 00:51:32.420
we both felt it was a pretty easy drive, so.

1068
00:51:32.420 --> 00:51:33.260
Perfect.

1069
00:51:33.260 --> 00:51:34.980
I would argue by your third date,

1070
00:51:34.980 --> 00:51:36.260
you want him to come to you.

1071
00:51:36.260 --> 00:51:37.620
All the way, yeah.

1072
00:51:37.620 --> 00:51:39.940
And you can just say, look, you know what,

1073
00:51:39.940 --> 00:51:42.920
by our third date, I would love for you to come all the way

1074
00:51:42.920 --> 00:51:46.420
to see me in my hometown, and just say, like, if you,

1075
00:51:46.420 --> 00:51:48.860
and then that's where it could be like a Saturday date

1076
00:51:48.860 --> 00:51:51.140
where he leaves at nine in the morning.

1077
00:51:51.140 --> 00:51:54.340
You book a lunch date, a picnic, a fun activity,

1078
00:51:54.340 --> 00:51:55.660
and you can just say, look,

1079
00:51:55.980 --> 00:51:58.460
you may need to get back on the road by six o'clock,

1080
00:51:58.460 --> 00:52:00.380
so you're home by nine.

1081
00:52:00.380 --> 00:52:01.300
I totally understand that.

1082
00:52:01.300 --> 00:52:02.900
So then you kind of, it's,

1083
00:52:02.900 --> 00:52:05.180
and I kind of feel like if it's your hometown,

1084
00:52:05.180 --> 00:52:07.860
it's your job to kind of book the activities.

1085
00:52:07.860 --> 00:52:09.780
He can help pay for it,

1086
00:52:09.780 --> 00:52:13.220
but I feel like it's hard to put them on the hook

1087
00:52:13.220 --> 00:52:14.580
for what to do in your town

1088
00:52:14.580 --> 00:52:15.820
when they've never been to your town.

1089
00:52:15.820 --> 00:52:18.460
It's like, and so if you can just say, hey,

1090
00:52:18.460 --> 00:52:21.100
this way can be, it is kind of an all-day commitment.

1091
00:52:21.100 --> 00:52:22.220
And you can just say, look,

1092
00:52:22.220 --> 00:52:24.820
we can plan this for three hours,

1093
00:52:24.820 --> 00:52:26.980
and if we're having a great time, we can do this,

1094
00:52:26.980 --> 00:52:29.780
or if you feel like you need to get back, that's okay too.

1095
00:52:29.780 --> 00:52:31.860
So this way he doesn't feel like he's on the hook

1096
00:52:31.860 --> 00:52:35.420
for a six-hour date, but the option's out there.

1097
00:52:35.420 --> 00:52:40.420
So it's okay if Thursday turns into a video date,

1098
00:52:40.500 --> 00:52:42.780
because it is Thursday, it's the middle of the week,

1099
00:52:42.780 --> 00:52:46.180
but I wouldn't let that happen twice in a row.

1100
00:52:46.180 --> 00:52:47.660
Okay, thank you.

1101
00:52:47.660 --> 00:52:48.500
Awesome.

1102
00:52:50.420 --> 00:52:51.780
I'm just looking at what's in the chat here.

1103
00:52:51.780 --> 00:52:53.140
I talked to, all right.

1104
00:52:53.180 --> 00:52:57.300
Anybody else, they've just started, they're freaked out,

1105
00:52:57.300 --> 00:53:02.300
they did Dating 101, they did Divine Feminine,

1106
00:53:02.300 --> 00:53:03.900
and again, you guys, boundaries.

1107
00:53:03.900 --> 00:53:05.740
If you've seen the boundaries video,

1108
00:53:05.740 --> 00:53:07.480
and I'm putting that out there,

1109
00:53:07.480 --> 00:53:12.060
if you have issues with family, friends, or coworkers

1110
00:53:12.060 --> 00:53:12.980
in the boundary video,

1111
00:53:12.980 --> 00:53:15.420
the boundary video is not just for dating.

1112
00:53:15.420 --> 00:53:18.020
Feel free to bring that stuff here,

1113
00:53:18.020 --> 00:53:20.300
and we can unpack that with you.

1114
00:53:20.300 --> 00:53:22.320
Who else wants to go?

1115
00:53:22.320 --> 00:53:23.880
We're almost at the top of the hour,

1116
00:53:23.880 --> 00:53:26.000
and I will keep you on if there's good questions,

1117
00:53:26.000 --> 00:53:27.520
but I'm not gonna force you to stay on

1118
00:53:27.520 --> 00:53:29.240
just for us to drag the night out.

1119
00:53:30.160 --> 00:53:32.880
Who else would like to share or ask a question?

1120
00:53:32.880 --> 00:53:34.680
Maria, are you coming on so I can see you?

1121
00:53:34.680 --> 00:53:37.960
Oh, but Parrish, did you wanna ask something?

1122
00:53:37.960 --> 00:53:42.960
Well, I just wanted to share that I listen

1123
00:53:42.960 --> 00:53:47.960
to online dating, but I've never done the Facebook dating,

1124
00:53:48.400 --> 00:53:50.280
so I need to try that.

1125
00:53:50.280 --> 00:53:52.920
I need to go back and listen to how you did that,

1126
00:53:52.920 --> 00:53:54.600
because I think you show it.

1127
00:53:54.600 --> 00:53:56.400
I think I showed mine, yeah.

1128
00:53:56.400 --> 00:53:59.880
Facebook dating is a really easy one to start with,

1129
00:53:59.880 --> 00:54:03.120
because it's free, and if you're already on Facebook,

1130
00:54:03.120 --> 00:54:06.120
you just have to look two over for the heart,

1131
00:54:06.120 --> 00:54:10.080
and it takes like 10 seconds to fill out a profile

1132
00:54:10.080 --> 00:54:11.520
for the Facebook.

1133
00:54:11.520 --> 00:54:13.820
You can only do the Facebook dating from your phone,

1134
00:54:13.820 --> 00:54:14.660
I think.

1135
00:54:14.660 --> 00:54:16.040
It might work from an iPad,

1136
00:54:16.040 --> 00:54:18.400
but it's not from the computer,

1137
00:54:18.400 --> 00:54:20.600
so it's only the mobile version of it.

1138
00:54:20.600 --> 00:54:22.640
And what I like about it is you can see

1139
00:54:22.640 --> 00:54:24.040
if you have mutual friends,

1140
00:54:25.000 --> 00:54:26.680
but they can't see your profile.

1141
00:54:27.960 --> 00:54:30.100
And just know with Facebook dating,

1142
00:54:30.100 --> 00:54:31.600
it's like feast or famine.

1143
00:54:32.520 --> 00:54:34.320
You're gonna see a lot of something,

1144
00:54:34.320 --> 00:54:37.480
or it's just gonna go for a bit.

1145
00:54:37.480 --> 00:54:39.880
It's okay, but it's a super easy one to start with.

1146
00:54:39.880 --> 00:54:40.720
Do you have a question?

1147
00:54:40.720 --> 00:54:41.540
Are you excited?

1148
00:54:41.540 --> 00:54:42.760
Are you nervous?

1149
00:54:42.760 --> 00:54:44.280
I just wanted to share,

1150
00:54:44.280 --> 00:54:49.280
and I'm a real caregiver, nurturer, all the things.

1151
00:54:50.520 --> 00:54:51.360
So that-

1152
00:54:51.360 --> 00:54:52.480
So you were really resonating

1153
00:54:52.480 --> 00:54:53.920
what I was saying at the beginning.

1154
00:54:53.920 --> 00:54:56.560
So that gets me in so much trouble.

1155
00:54:56.560 --> 00:55:00.280
And then in online dating, I always find...

1156
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:07.160
I always find the people, you know, and in the neighborhood, I take care of the puppies

1157
00:55:07.160 --> 00:55:12.360
and the kittens, and I just feel like that's who I find on Facebook dating, so.

1158
00:55:12.360 --> 00:55:15.320
Have you watched The Divine Feminine yet?

1159
00:55:15.320 --> 00:55:21.800
Yes, I did, so I guess I just need to go back and watch it, but yes, I feel like as you're

1160
00:55:21.800 --> 00:55:27.280
talking, I just feel this, I just, I don't know, the Lord needs to help me.

1161
00:55:27.280 --> 00:55:29.440
I don't know where to go with this, because I.

1162
00:55:29.440 --> 00:55:34.040
I will say, so the advice, Parrish, I give people, which apparently I'm still a victim

1163
00:55:34.040 --> 00:55:38.720
of it, because I had a dude tell me I should be a therapist, so I was like, okay, crap.

1164
00:55:38.720 --> 00:55:43.600
All I did was ask three, and sometimes it's just in our genealogy, right?

1165
00:55:43.600 --> 00:55:48.600
Like I literally only ask three questions connected to that, like at all, like I would

1166
00:55:48.600 --> 00:55:51.120
argue really range it in, but it still comes out.

1167
00:55:51.120 --> 00:55:56.120
So for people like you and I who just get into that personality, we can't even help

1168
00:55:56.120 --> 00:55:57.120
ourselves.

1169
00:55:57.120 --> 00:56:00.360
We have to pick fun dates fast.

1170
00:56:00.360 --> 00:56:05.200
We are not, we cannot be left alone with them for too long, and we're just going to be,

1171
00:56:05.200 --> 00:56:10.560
it's like we can get the stranger to tell us their life story on the side of the street,

1172
00:56:10.560 --> 00:56:17.480
and so you're going to have to go pay putt-putt, ax throwing, an escape game, like an obstacle

1173
00:56:17.480 --> 00:56:24.120
course, like you're going to have to pick dates that are fun, so you can't.

1174
00:56:25.120 --> 00:56:31.200
Okay, great, that would be so helpful, I've never even, okay, thank you.

1175
00:56:31.200 --> 00:56:38.440
Yeah, go to a flea market, go to an art crawl, like go to an antique show, any place that's

1176
00:56:38.440 --> 00:56:45.280
going to put you in public, walking around with him, so it's just, you just, you're going

1177
00:56:45.280 --> 00:56:47.320
to be less likely.

1178
00:56:47.320 --> 00:56:51.400
So that's why for you and I, we don't even want to hike with them, because that's just

1179
00:56:51.400 --> 00:56:56.320
like therapy walking, I mean, it's just, it's going to come out even more.

1180
00:56:56.320 --> 00:56:57.320
Okay.

1181
00:56:57.320 --> 00:57:03.640
Yeah, unless you're going to go hiking with a specific need to like, we both like to look

1182
00:57:03.640 --> 00:57:07.280
for birds, we're going to go take photos of birds, like, I don't know, I'm just making

1183
00:57:07.280 --> 00:57:08.320
that up.

1184
00:57:08.320 --> 00:57:14.280
So that's for my caregivers out there, if you can't help yourself, pick fun, silly dates

1185
00:57:14.280 --> 00:57:16.280
to go do.

1186
00:57:16.280 --> 00:57:17.280
Maria?

1187
00:57:17.280 --> 00:57:26.880
So I'm just a few days into phase two.

1188
00:57:26.880 --> 00:57:30.640
And I'm feeling, I don't know that I'm feeling overwhelmed, I think I'm just like trying

1189
00:57:30.640 --> 00:57:33.200
to figure out like, what is going on?

1190
00:57:33.200 --> 00:57:35.440
Like what I'm supposed to be doing?

1191
00:57:35.440 --> 00:57:38.560
And how to jump into perfect phase.

1192
00:57:38.560 --> 00:57:39.560
Perfect.

1193
00:57:39.560 --> 00:57:40.560
So let me help you out.

1194
00:57:40.560 --> 00:57:44.360
So have you watched the very first welcome love story accelerator video?

1195
00:57:44.360 --> 00:57:45.360
Yes.

1196
00:57:45.360 --> 00:57:46.360
And the dating 101.

1197
00:57:46.440 --> 00:57:47.440
Okay, perfect.

1198
00:57:47.440 --> 00:57:48.440
Okay.

1199
00:57:48.440 --> 00:57:54.880
So all this month you're doing is, it's kind of like what I said at the very front end,

1200
00:57:54.880 --> 00:57:59.320
you kind of do the dating 101 and go like, okay, and I feel like if you're not ready

1201
00:57:59.320 --> 00:58:05.200
to like, do any online dating yet, you're like, how can I think about the way I talk

1202
00:58:05.200 --> 00:58:06.240
to people?

1203
00:58:06.240 --> 00:58:11.000
Maybe start to like, so spend a week going, how do I relate to people?

1204
00:58:11.000 --> 00:58:16.080
Am I really good at having good conversations with people?

1205
00:58:16.080 --> 00:58:17.800
Kind of assess your friendships.

1206
00:58:17.800 --> 00:58:21.500
Or do I attach really quickly and start to overshare really quickly?

1207
00:58:21.500 --> 00:58:27.360
So in this dating 101 video, take a step back and look at how you build all your relationships,

1208
00:58:27.360 --> 00:58:29.600
family, friends, church.

1209
00:58:29.600 --> 00:58:31.960
Do you tend to like overshare too quickly?

1210
00:58:31.960 --> 00:58:34.760
Do you tend to take too long to relate to people?

1211
00:58:34.760 --> 00:58:36.320
Are you kind of nervous?

1212
00:58:36.320 --> 00:58:40.960
So kind of just notice your patterns, so to speak.

1213
00:58:41.920 --> 00:58:46.680
Now, as soon as you've clicked on the dating 101, it should open up and you should be able

1214
00:58:46.680 --> 00:58:47.960
to see the next one.

1215
00:58:47.960 --> 00:58:50.120
The next one is divine feminine.

1216
00:58:50.120 --> 00:58:56.560
And here's what I love you guys, dating 101, divine feminine and boundaries are all videos

1217
00:58:56.560 --> 00:59:00.920
that can apply to your entire life and not just your dating life.

1218
00:59:00.920 --> 00:59:05.160
And so when you watch the divine feminine one, you can watch and go, okay, Holy Spirit,

1219
00:59:05.160 --> 00:59:10.440
you know, this week, help me show up more feminine in everything that I do.

1220
00:59:10.440 --> 00:59:14.320
When I go to the grocery store, when I go to the church, where am I kind of being in

1221
00:59:14.320 --> 00:59:15.720
the masculine?

1222
00:59:15.720 --> 00:59:21.560
When do I reject a man helping like pay attention to, like you guys, I walked into the gym today

1223
00:59:21.560 --> 00:59:24.000
and I almost grabbed the door for the guy.

1224
00:59:24.000 --> 00:59:25.000
He was right behind me.

1225
00:59:25.000 --> 00:59:26.600
He goes, please let me get that.

1226
00:59:26.600 --> 00:59:28.840
And I'm like, yes, thank you.

1227
00:59:28.840 --> 00:59:33.640
And I stepped aside for him to get in front of me to open the door.

1228
00:59:33.640 --> 00:59:38.600
Cause I'm so in my head not to be feminine.

1229
00:59:38.640 --> 00:59:44.160
And so I would say when you get to that video practice for a few days, then when you get

1230
00:59:44.160 --> 00:59:50.160
to the online dating video, practice that, put maybe put your Facebook profile up and

1231
00:59:50.160 --> 00:59:55.080
kind of like what I said to Joanne, if you've not been on dates in a million years, you

1232
00:59:55.080 --> 00:59:57.160
maybe you only pick hinge.

1233
00:59:57.160 --> 01:00:00.040
You only pick like right now I'm only on Facebook dating and hinge.

1234
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.920
and they're both free and that paying for either one of them.

1235
01:00:02.920 --> 01:00:05.920
I'm just not, I started seminary two weeks ago.

1236
01:00:05.920 --> 01:00:09.680
My, I'm kind of taking like a, not backseating the dating thing,

1237
01:00:09.680 --> 01:00:14.680
but I'm like, and so dabble in the dating thing and then starting to do it.

1238
01:00:15.560 --> 01:00:18.440
And then the last video is in boundary.

1239
01:00:18.440 --> 01:00:23.440
So you basically have the next month to watch those videos as fast as you want

1240
01:00:23.520 --> 01:00:24.360
or not,

1241
01:00:24.880 --> 01:00:29.400
but really take the next few weeks to kind of unpack them and see how it can

1242
01:00:29.440 --> 01:00:32.120
help shape you in all of the areas of your life.

1243
01:00:32.440 --> 01:00:35.960
Share your ahas in the Facebook feed. Come here.

1244
01:00:36.200 --> 01:00:39.000
Usually I'm Maria every week, you know,

1245
01:00:39.240 --> 01:00:42.760
based on what you guys are saying in the roll call is what I talk about.

1246
01:00:42.760 --> 01:00:46.200
So you're like, how did Renee even know what to talk about tonight? Well,

1247
01:00:46.200 --> 01:00:50.200
I got notes from Bethany cause she summarized everything that you guys have been

1248
01:00:50.200 --> 01:00:51.560
putting in the Facebook feed.

1249
01:00:52.080 --> 01:00:55.880
And so we want to make sure the most common topics are coming up,

1250
01:00:56.280 --> 01:00:58.920
that people are still kind of having like, I'm confused here.

1251
01:00:58.920 --> 01:01:02.560
I don't know about this or this isn't feeling good. Then we're like, okay,

1252
01:01:02.560 --> 01:01:04.320
then we need to talk about that a little bit more.

1253
01:01:04.320 --> 01:01:07.800
So every weekly check-in is us kind of unpacking.

1254
01:01:08.200 --> 01:01:12.480
And so all of you are in here at different stages, but the beauty is Maria,

1255
01:01:12.480 --> 01:01:16.080
hopefully I just gave you lots of good nuggets. You're like, man,

1256
01:01:16.080 --> 01:01:20.280
I'm so glad I knew that now before I even put my profile together or before I

1257
01:01:20.280 --> 01:01:21.720
even think about going on a date.

1258
01:01:21.720 --> 01:01:26.720
So you get to camp out in phase two for about three or four weeks as you feel

1259
01:01:27.000 --> 01:01:30.840
comfortable, as you're getting your sea legs back on to date differently.

1260
01:01:31.000 --> 01:01:34.680
Remember you guys, you don't want to go back to dating the old way.

1261
01:01:34.800 --> 01:01:37.800
You don't want to go back to only talking to the guys that you used to be

1262
01:01:37.800 --> 01:01:40.640
attracted to. You're trying to do it differently.

1263
01:01:40.640 --> 01:01:43.440
And you're trying to do all of your relationships differently.

1264
01:01:44.200 --> 01:01:45.960
So does that help a little bit, Maria?

1265
01:01:46.800 --> 01:01:48.960
Yeah, I have two more questions. Um,

1266
01:01:50.240 --> 01:01:54.240
how do we know when we, what's the indicator to go to phase three?

1267
01:01:54.240 --> 01:01:56.040
Is it when you finish all the videos?

1268
01:01:57.520 --> 01:02:01.400
When you watch the boundary video. So this is a great question, Maria.

1269
01:02:01.400 --> 01:02:02.320
So thank you for asking.

1270
01:02:02.600 --> 01:02:05.160
It's almost the same thing that happened in the heart work.

1271
01:02:05.280 --> 01:02:09.600
So the system is set up when you finish the last video,

1272
01:02:09.600 --> 01:02:13.040
the fourth video, it's going to get it. It's going to, it should,

1273
01:02:13.040 --> 01:02:15.160
if you guys agree to get our emails,

1274
01:02:15.280 --> 01:02:18.920
which is why I put that post in the feature to make sure you get our emails,

1275
01:02:19.200 --> 01:02:21.680
you're going to get an email that says you're done with phase two.

1276
01:02:21.720 --> 01:02:23.880
All it means is you're done watching the videos.

1277
01:02:24.320 --> 01:02:27.320
Right. And it's going to say, you can go to phase three.

1278
01:02:27.480 --> 01:02:28.440
Now I will tell you,

1279
01:02:28.440 --> 01:02:33.360
if you binge all four videos in one week and you go to the Facebook

1280
01:02:33.360 --> 01:02:37.160
page for phase three, and you try to join,

1281
01:02:37.200 --> 01:02:39.800
Bethany's going to look at how long you hung out in phase two.

1282
01:02:39.800 --> 01:02:42.800
And if it's less than three weeks, she's going to say,

1283
01:02:43.280 --> 01:02:47.040
hang back for a couple more weeks, stay in that group,

1284
01:02:47.320 --> 01:02:49.080
get those weekly check-ins because you guys,

1285
01:02:49.080 --> 01:02:53.840
we don't have weekly check-ins in phase three. We have, um,

1286
01:02:54.440 --> 01:02:57.920
we do have events, live events, but we don't have these check-ins.

1287
01:02:58.320 --> 01:03:01.040
And so, especially when you're getting your sea legs on,

1288
01:03:01.040 --> 01:03:04.360
we want you to take advantage of these weekly check-ins because they're special.

1289
01:03:04.880 --> 01:03:08.560
And you know, you're in a room right now with 20 people.

1290
01:03:08.720 --> 01:03:12.240
When you go to phase three, you're going to be in sessions with a hundred people.

1291
01:03:12.720 --> 01:03:16.640
So you're not going to get as much attention so to speak.

1292
01:03:17.080 --> 01:03:21.480
So that's kind of how it happens when you hit the fourth video and email should

1293
01:03:21.480 --> 01:03:23.640
trigger and say, you're ready for phase three.

1294
01:03:23.640 --> 01:03:27.720
But if you go to the Facebook page, Bethany might go not yet.

1295
01:03:28.000 --> 01:03:32.640
And so you kind of camp back out here. So say you watched all four videos,

1296
01:03:32.640 --> 01:03:34.480
Maria, it tells you, you can go on.

1297
01:03:34.760 --> 01:03:36.960
Bethany tells you stay here for a few more weeks.

1298
01:03:36.960 --> 01:03:38.720
So you can stay here for a few more weeks.

1299
01:03:39.040 --> 01:03:42.000
Then when you're ready to go to phase three, you can,

1300
01:03:42.000 --> 01:03:46.240
you can even put it in the, um, since you don't, if you don't,

1301
01:03:46.240 --> 01:03:48.160
if you didn't save the email with the link anymore,

1302
01:03:48.160 --> 01:03:51.480
you literally put in last year, single phase three in the search bar,

1303
01:03:51.760 --> 01:03:52.600
and you'll find it.

1304
01:03:52.600 --> 01:03:55.200
And you're going to have to just answer those questions to join that page.

1305
01:03:55.520 --> 01:03:59.960
Phase three, doesn't use the portal the same way you guys have been used to

1306
01:04:00.200 --> 01:04:05.160
most everything right now in phase three is live and in the Facebook group.

1307
01:04:05.160 --> 01:04:10.040
So I would say, get comfortable on Facebook. We are moving over to an app.

1308
01:04:11.480 --> 01:04:14.400
I don't know how quickly that's going to happen. It's going to, I'm,

1309
01:04:14.440 --> 01:04:18.400
I'm always cautious when I promise how quickly data gets converted into app.

1310
01:04:18.400 --> 01:04:20.000
It's never a perfect transition.

1311
01:04:20.280 --> 01:04:24.400
So I would say be comfortable on Facebook for a couple more months. Um,

1312
01:04:24.440 --> 01:04:25.960
but we will soon be off of, um,

1313
01:04:25.960 --> 01:04:29.560
hopefully off of Facebook for all of our stuff. And, um,

1314
01:04:29.840 --> 01:04:33.360
we'll be working just with all everything, all within the map, um, the app,

1315
01:04:33.360 --> 01:04:37.480
the community and the content. So, but that's a great question, Maria.

1316
01:04:37.480 --> 01:04:42.200
So hopefully hang out here for a few weeks, as long as you feel comfortable. Um,

1317
01:04:42.240 --> 01:04:46.400
if you don't get that email after you watch the fourth video and you're ready to

1318
01:04:46.400 --> 01:04:47.600
go and you don't get that email,

1319
01:04:47.880 --> 01:04:51.440
please send the email to admin at Jackie doorman.com.

1320
01:04:51.680 --> 01:04:55.840
And we're going to help make sure that your emails are turned on and then get

1321
01:04:55.840 --> 01:04:59.760
you over into the Facebook page. So that's the other thing is if you're ever.

1322
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.440
confused, where do I go? Where is something? Email us at admin at JackieDorman.com. Cheryl

1323
01:05:05.440 --> 01:05:11.280
and I and Reagan are checking those emails seven days a week. Give us grace on Sundays.

1324
01:05:11.280 --> 01:05:20.520
That's all I'm going to say. Awesome. One more. You had one more. Yeah. So this one,

1325
01:05:20.520 --> 01:05:29.960
I'm kind of considering the different things that I've heard so far. I'm wondering how

1326
01:05:30.920 --> 01:05:39.080
like, if there's any, if you have any input on my career being a therapist, and I've had

1327
01:05:39.080 --> 01:05:44.680
instances in the past when I did online dating, that I've had guys kind of comment, like,

1328
01:05:45.480 --> 01:05:49.640
it seemed like they were drawn to me in some kind of weird way because my profession was a therapist.

1329
01:05:50.440 --> 01:05:58.040
And so, so don't like not have that. Yeah. So here's what I had to start doing. I started to

1330
01:05:58.040 --> 01:06:05.880
get more vague about what my job was. You can just say social services, or you could put

1331
01:06:06.440 --> 01:06:11.720
education. Like you can be more vague in your job title. Like I learned putting, when I was

1332
01:06:11.720 --> 01:06:16.920
running a nonprofit, I learned putting president and CEO of a nonprofit was like the kiss of death.

1333
01:06:16.920 --> 01:06:22.760
And so like, you know, and then I just used to say director at a nonprofit. Like that's all I

1334
01:06:22.840 --> 01:06:26.360
used to say director of nonprofit. So some people just put healthcare,

1335
01:06:27.640 --> 01:06:32.760
some people just put healthcare and healthcare could be anybody from a therapist, social worker

1336
01:06:32.760 --> 01:06:38.680
to a doctor or a nurse. So you might just want to put healthcare because it is, it's a form of

1337
01:06:38.680 --> 01:06:43.960
mental healthcare. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good idea. Yeah. And then also, I mean, I have my own

1338
01:06:43.960 --> 01:06:49.720
business and I would like for them to not just go Google me and find all my business information.

1339
01:06:49.720 --> 01:06:54.280
Yeah. I leave that because I have a whole website and everything. And I was, you know,

1340
01:06:54.280 --> 01:07:01.320
if like for my town, that's why I was super vague. I was really vague because I knew, and trust me,

1341
01:07:01.320 --> 01:07:06.280
a few would like they, it didn't take much for them to, if you Googled my name and my city,

1342
01:07:06.280 --> 01:07:12.120
you'd find me pretty dang fast. And so I would just be, just be as vague as you can on some

1343
01:07:12.120 --> 01:07:16.040
things. And don't, you don't have to mention everything you guys don't, you don't have to

1344
01:07:16.040 --> 01:07:20.680
disclose that you're an author that you're like, whatever. And all your accolades, like,

1345
01:07:20.680 --> 01:07:26.440
you're not trying to get a job. You're just trying to get a date. So be lean in that stuff.

1346
01:07:27.480 --> 01:07:32.680
And yeah, you got this Maria, you're going to be fabulous. And I can't wait to talk to you next

1347
01:07:32.680 --> 01:07:39.160
week after something else has come up. Okay. Another Maria, we have another Maria.

1348
01:07:39.160 --> 01:07:46.600
You're on mute still though, make sure you come off of mute.

1349
01:07:46.600 --> 01:07:59.480
Yeah. Hi. I really hate online dating, so I'm not doing that. I actually am a leader in a meetup

1350
01:07:59.480 --> 01:08:06.920
group. It's a Christian singles meetup group. And so I've actually been really apathetic the last

1351
01:08:06.920 --> 01:08:12.760
couple of months. So I haven't like watched like any of these like videos that I need to watch.

1352
01:08:13.960 --> 01:08:21.800
And I actually went out on Saturday to one of our meetup events to support like one of our

1353
01:08:21.800 --> 01:08:28.279
other leaders. And, and I actually ended up meeting a couple of guys at our meetup event.

1354
01:08:28.279 --> 01:08:35.800
Right. And, but they all know, like my name, they have like, they have access to my phone number.

1355
01:08:35.800 --> 01:08:43.319
They could look me up very easily. They could like, you know, so there's like no, you know,

1356
01:08:43.319 --> 01:08:51.880
anonymity there. So there was one very nice guy that I was talking to. He sent me a message on

1357
01:08:51.880 --> 01:08:58.439
meetup saying something to the effect of, you know, I'm sorry, we couldn't talk more. And so I

1358
01:08:58.439 --> 01:09:03.160
wrote back and said, oh, you know, it was really nice meeting you. Here's my number. Let's keep

1359
01:09:03.160 --> 01:09:10.840
in touch. Right. And I haven't heard back from him. However, I heard from a friend of ours,

1360
01:09:10.840 --> 01:09:17.640
another leader in the meetup that he was talking to him and that he was very interested in,

1361
01:09:19.080 --> 01:09:26.520
you know, doing an event. And so he thought it would be a good idea for me to lead the event

1362
01:09:26.520 --> 01:09:32.439
with him. Right. Which I, which I thought was a little strange because we let like new people

1363
01:09:32.439 --> 01:09:36.680
lead events all the time. So I felt like my friend was trying to do a little matchmaking for

1364
01:09:36.680 --> 01:09:43.080
me. And I said, sure, but I haven't heard anything from this guy. And this was Saturday, right?

1365
01:09:43.080 --> 01:09:50.439
This is why you need to watch all the videos, Maria. So those videos are golden because Jackie

1366
01:09:50.439 --> 01:09:58.040
gives you guys lots of ways to what she calls drop the hanky. So do not be turd. I will tell you

1367
01:09:58.040 --> 01:09:59.960
this. Watch all four videos.

1368
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:06.600
post because you will find so many tips and tricks in all of them, how to show up more

1369
01:10:06.600 --> 01:10:11.500
feminine, how to, how to date, how to know what kind of content I dare, I would dare

1370
01:10:11.500 --> 01:10:18.100
say at least 50% of what I even cover in the online dating applies to all dating.

1371
01:10:18.100 --> 01:10:22.100
It just, it's that again for the same thing, because here's the thing you got, you met

1372
01:10:22.100 --> 01:10:26.740
this guy to meet up, but he now has your phone number so you could still fall into the same

1373
01:10:26.740 --> 01:10:31.980
trap of this random texting thing and then not turning into a date.

1374
01:10:31.980 --> 01:10:34.320
So the same rules apply.

1375
01:10:34.320 --> 01:10:40.180
And so, um, so Jackie would tell you and what you could have done instead of just, here's

1376
01:10:40.180 --> 01:10:44.800
my number to call me, what you could have done is just, you could have in that moment

1377
01:10:44.800 --> 01:10:46.660
is a literal drop of the hanky.

1378
01:10:46.660 --> 01:10:48.420
It was so nice meeting you.

1379
01:10:48.420 --> 01:10:54.560
Um, I'd love to go out for coffee and get to know you better if you're ever up for that.

1380
01:10:54.560 --> 01:10:58.360
You could be, well, but he has your number.

1381
01:10:58.360 --> 01:10:59.360
Doesn't he have your number?

1382
01:10:59.360 --> 01:11:00.360
Cause you texted him.

1383
01:11:00.360 --> 01:11:01.360
Oh yeah.

1384
01:11:01.360 --> 01:11:02.360
No, no, no.

1385
01:11:02.360 --> 01:11:09.600
But should, I mean, should I have said the thing about coffee and not added my number

1386
01:11:09.600 --> 01:11:10.600
or.

1387
01:11:10.600 --> 01:11:14.640
Well, how did he, well, how did he reach out to you through an app?

1388
01:11:14.640 --> 01:11:15.640
Yeah.

1389
01:11:15.640 --> 01:11:18.760
Cause on meetup, there's like a message, the message board.

1390
01:11:18.760 --> 01:11:20.480
So he read up, mentioned board.

1391
01:11:20.480 --> 01:11:23.120
So you can be, it's like a direct message.

1392
01:11:23.120 --> 01:11:24.120
Is it?

1393
01:11:24.120 --> 01:11:25.120
Oh, and so it was private.

1394
01:11:25.120 --> 01:11:26.120
Right?

1395
01:11:26.120 --> 01:11:27.120
Yeah.

1396
01:11:27.120 --> 01:11:28.120
Yeah.

1397
01:11:28.120 --> 01:11:29.120
Yeah.

1398
01:11:29.120 --> 01:11:30.120
Um, you could have said, you know, no, what you could have just said.

1399
01:11:30.120 --> 01:11:31.120
Okay.

1400
01:11:31.120 --> 01:11:32.120
So it's a private direct message.

1401
01:11:32.120 --> 01:11:33.120
Oh my gosh.

1402
01:11:33.120 --> 01:11:34.120
It was really nice meeting you.

1403
01:11:34.120 --> 01:11:37.240
If you ever want to go out for coffee so we can get to know each other better, I'd, I'd

1404
01:11:37.240 --> 01:11:38.240
be totally up for it.

1405
01:11:38.240 --> 01:11:39.600
I would leave it at that.

1406
01:11:39.600 --> 01:11:44.680
And then if he says, gosh, I would really like that, um, then you can say, well, here's

1407
01:11:44.680 --> 01:11:45.680
my number.

1408
01:11:45.680 --> 01:11:46.960
Give me a call sometime.

1409
01:11:46.960 --> 01:11:49.600
And then you have to leave it be.

1410
01:11:49.600 --> 01:11:50.600
Okay.

1411
01:11:50.600 --> 01:11:56.720
So at that point, you've been clear because you're like the head of the meetup group and

1412
01:11:56.720 --> 01:11:58.400
you just said, oh, I would like it.

1413
01:11:58.400 --> 01:12:00.080
And you were kind of vague.

1414
01:12:00.080 --> 01:12:03.040
He may have not known if you were just being polite or not.

1415
01:12:03.040 --> 01:12:06.680
Well, I gave him my number.

1416
01:12:06.680 --> 01:12:10.280
I know, but like, it's not, I'm telling you men are stupid.

1417
01:12:10.280 --> 01:12:11.960
I mean, they're sweet.

1418
01:12:11.960 --> 01:12:13.160
They don't know.

1419
01:12:13.160 --> 01:12:18.400
They don't always know because I feel like he already initiated with you, but you still

1420
01:12:18.400 --> 01:12:19.400
don't know.

1421
01:12:19.400 --> 01:12:21.040
So you're on the same team again.

1422
01:12:21.040 --> 01:12:25.560
So at this point you could reach back out to him or you could let it ride and wait and

1423
01:12:25.560 --> 01:12:26.920
continue to do other things.

1424
01:12:26.920 --> 01:12:30.040
So I'm going to encourage you to watch other videos.

1425
01:12:30.040 --> 01:12:32.760
You're going to pick up some nuggets on how to do this.

1426
01:12:32.760 --> 01:12:37.000
So even if you run into him in person, you're going to feel a little bit more confident

1427
01:12:37.000 --> 01:12:41.000
on how to be divine feminine and flirt with him a little bit.

1428
01:12:41.000 --> 01:12:42.000
Okay.

1429
01:12:42.000 --> 01:12:45.360
And can I talk to you about the other guy that I met the night?

1430
01:12:45.360 --> 01:12:46.360
Okay.

1431
01:12:46.360 --> 01:12:52.960
There was this other guy that he was really big and scary looking and well, so much so

1432
01:12:52.960 --> 01:12:58.800
that someone from the meetup sat next to me and they were, they saw it because he was

1433
01:12:58.800 --> 01:13:04.640
like kind of staring at me and the guy said to me, he said, is he like a police officer

1434
01:13:04.640 --> 01:13:05.640
or something?

1435
01:13:05.640 --> 01:13:11.400
Cause I mean, cause he gives off like, you know, like state trooper vibes, you know what

1436
01:13:11.400 --> 01:13:12.400
I mean?

1437
01:13:12.400 --> 01:13:13.400
So

1438
01:13:13.400 --> 01:13:14.400
State troopers.

1439
01:13:14.400 --> 01:13:15.400
I know they have that vibe.

1440
01:13:15.440 --> 01:13:16.440
Yeah.

1441
01:13:16.440 --> 01:13:17.440
Okay.

1442
01:13:17.440 --> 01:13:18.440
Yeah.

1443
01:13:18.440 --> 01:13:24.840
So now I had introduced myself to like new people that hadn't been there before, cause

1444
01:13:24.840 --> 01:13:32.720
you know, I'm one of the leaders and I had told him about an event that I'm hosting at

1445
01:13:32.720 --> 01:13:35.280
this Christian retreat place.

1446
01:13:35.280 --> 01:13:42.280
And so I told him about it and you know, he ended up, he, he signed up and he sent me

1447
01:13:42.280 --> 01:13:48.360
a message about it, but you know, how do I move it past, you know, Oh great, you signed

1448
01:13:48.360 --> 01:13:51.000
up for my meetup like.

1449
01:13:51.000 --> 01:13:53.920
And you haven't watched any of the training videos yet.

1450
01:13:53.920 --> 01:13:57.920
So Maria girl, that's why you got to do it.

1451
01:13:57.920 --> 01:14:02.720
Here's the thing, you guys, what we're doing in the weekly check-in, like there is four

1452
01:14:02.720 --> 01:14:07.000
hours of solid content in those training videos.

1453
01:14:07.000 --> 01:14:11.560
So I can't use an entire check-in to teach all that stuff.

1454
01:14:11.840 --> 01:14:12.840
No, no, no.

1455
01:14:12.840 --> 01:14:18.920
But so just know that this is like where you take like the things, um, sometimes you just

1456
01:14:18.920 --> 01:14:25.560
have to be, I mean, sometimes you can just be direct, Hey, I'd love to, you know, like

1457
01:14:25.560 --> 01:14:30.680
you guys, like you'll, when you get to phase three, there's an event called single spotlight

1458
01:14:30.680 --> 01:14:35.960
and like five men are showcased and we ask a bunch of questions and women literally have

1459
01:14:35.960 --> 01:14:40.680
to drop a hanky by dropping a note in their DM saying, Hey, I saw you on the thing.

1460
01:14:40.680 --> 01:14:42.440
It sounds like we have a lot of things in common.

1461
01:14:42.440 --> 01:14:44.800
I'd like to get to know you better.

1462
01:14:44.800 --> 01:14:49.320
It sounds like, you know, I think we have a lot of things in common.

1463
01:14:49.320 --> 01:14:51.080
I'd like to get to know you better.

1464
01:14:51.080 --> 01:14:54.560
Would you be up for a video chat?

1465
01:14:54.560 --> 01:14:57.120
So in that case, I would go right to the video chat.

1466
01:14:57.120 --> 01:14:59.520
I wouldn't even say let's start texting, right?

1467
01:14:59.520 --> 01:15:00.520
You know what I mean?

1468
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:01.600
just go right in for that.

1469
01:15:00.520 --> 01:15:00.520


1470
01:15:01.600 --> 01:15:03.480
Cause that's somebody that's a real person

1471
01:15:03.480 --> 01:15:05.840
that you've met through your meetup group.

1472
01:15:05.840 --> 01:15:08.240
And so I would go right in for that and just say,

1473
01:15:08.240 --> 01:15:09.920
hey, would you like to do a quick video chat?

1474
01:15:09.920 --> 01:15:11.600
I'd like to get to know you better.

1475
01:15:11.600 --> 01:15:13.280
And you guys, I just reached out to somebody

1476
01:15:13.280 --> 01:15:14.780
in our community two weeks ago.

1477
01:15:14.780 --> 01:15:16.840
I said, hey, I don't know a lot about,

1478
01:15:16.840 --> 01:15:18.200
I see you've joined our community.

1479
01:15:18.200 --> 01:15:19.480
I don't know a lot about you.

1480
01:15:19.480 --> 01:15:21.880
You probably know me more cause I lead a lot of stuff,

1481
01:15:21.880 --> 01:15:26.000
but I'd love to book a video chat and just get to know you.

1482
01:15:26.000 --> 01:15:28.880
Now we could have both decided in the get to know you

1483
01:15:28.880 --> 01:15:31.800
that we were both like, meh, you know,

1484
01:15:31.800 --> 01:15:32.880
but we wouldn't know.

1485
01:15:32.880 --> 01:15:36.080
Now he could have, and I've had people respond back saying,

1486
01:15:36.080 --> 01:15:37.960
you seem really great Renee, but thank you.

1487
01:15:37.960 --> 01:15:38.800
But no, thank you.

1488
01:15:38.800 --> 01:15:39.620
I wish you the best.

1489
01:15:39.620 --> 01:15:40.760
And does that hurt in the moment?

1490
01:15:40.760 --> 01:15:45.760
You're like, oh, but at least I tried, whatever.

1491
01:15:46.360 --> 01:15:48.480
And he didn't really get to know me that well.

1492
01:15:48.480 --> 01:15:51.560
Like he saw me, you know, like it's cause you see me

1493
01:15:51.560 --> 01:15:52.820
for an hour doesn't mean you know me,

1494
01:15:52.820 --> 01:15:55.360
but like, but on the off chance,

1495
01:15:55.360 --> 01:15:58.440
cause so that's what Jackie was saying.

1496
01:15:58.960 --> 01:16:01.960
We can initiate, but when, if you're going to initiate,

1497
01:16:01.960 --> 01:16:03.680
you have to be clear.

1498
01:16:03.680 --> 01:16:05.720
Like you don't want to waste your initiation

1499
01:16:05.720 --> 01:16:08.800
on a half clear wussy safe comment.

1500
01:16:08.800 --> 01:16:09.640
You know what I mean?

1501
01:16:09.640 --> 01:16:13.840
If you're going to drop the hanky, drop it.

1502
01:16:13.840 --> 01:16:14.960
Like, cause here's the thing,

1503
01:16:14.960 --> 01:16:17.520
the whole phrase drop the hanky, cause you know back,

1504
01:16:17.520 --> 01:16:19.400
like if you've ever watched Bridgerton,

1505
01:16:19.400 --> 01:16:23.000
when they dropped the hanky, it's a very specific move.

1506
01:16:23.000 --> 01:16:25.140
So when the guy saw the hanky dropped,

1507
01:16:25.140 --> 01:16:28.540
he knew when he picked it up, what she was doing.

1508
01:16:28.540 --> 01:16:32.100
So the whole idea with the hanky is if you're dropping it,

1509
01:16:32.100 --> 01:16:35.140
it needs to be clear what you're dropping.

1510
01:16:35.140 --> 01:16:37.660
Otherwise you just seem polite,

1511
01:16:37.660 --> 01:16:40.160
especially if you're the meetup group leader.

1512
01:16:40.160 --> 01:16:42.500
Like they're just not going to know

1513
01:16:42.500 --> 01:16:45.140
if you're just doing the spiel.

1514
01:16:45.140 --> 01:16:46.700
Right, yeah.

1515
01:16:46.700 --> 01:16:49.660
I wouldn't know, like, is he being nice to me?

1516
01:16:49.660 --> 01:16:52.020
Like the guy at the behind the desk at Planet Fitness,

1517
01:16:52.020 --> 01:16:54.900
he calls me Riz every time I walk out, but you know,

1518
01:16:55.660 --> 01:16:58.260
he works there, so I'm assuming he's got to do that.

1519
01:16:58.260 --> 01:16:59.460
I can't tell.

1520
01:17:01.380 --> 01:17:04.000
And especially cause you're in the position of power,

1521
01:17:04.000 --> 01:17:06.660
the position in power always needs to be more clear.

1522
01:17:06.660 --> 01:17:09.340
So like guy at the gym, it would be like,

1523
01:17:09.340 --> 01:17:10.780
he would need to be clear with me.

1524
01:17:10.780 --> 01:17:12.340
Otherwise I'm just hitting on the staff

1525
01:17:12.340 --> 01:17:13.820
and that's inappropriate.

1526
01:17:13.820 --> 01:17:16.180
You know, you're like the leader in the meetup group.

1527
01:17:16.180 --> 01:17:19.820
So like, and you can be really clear,

1528
01:17:19.820 --> 01:17:22.540
like, hey, I don't do this with everybody.

1529
01:17:22.540 --> 01:17:25.540
And if your answer's no, that is okay.

1530
01:17:25.540 --> 01:17:27.620
And please do not be afraid to keep coming here.

1531
01:17:27.620 --> 01:17:28.540
I'm a big girl.

1532
01:17:28.540 --> 01:17:30.220
Like you could even say it like that.

1533
01:17:30.220 --> 01:17:32.140
Like, hey, I'd love, you seemed great.

1534
01:17:32.140 --> 01:17:33.940
I'd love to get to know you better,

1535
01:17:33.940 --> 01:17:36.500
but you know, I want you to not feel afraid

1536
01:17:36.500 --> 01:17:37.780
to have an answer of no,

1537
01:17:37.780 --> 01:17:40.140
or if we meet up and it's not a thing.

1538
01:17:40.140 --> 01:17:40.980
Cause you know what?

1539
01:17:40.980 --> 01:17:42.180
I want you to feel safe to come here

1540
01:17:42.180 --> 01:17:45.860
and enjoy getting to know all of the other people here too.

1541
01:17:45.860 --> 01:17:46.700
Okay.

1542
01:17:46.700 --> 01:17:48.740
You just have to sound super confident

1543
01:17:48.740 --> 01:17:50.860
even if you don't feel it at all.

1544
01:17:51.100 --> 01:17:53.180
You have to fake it till you make it.

1545
01:17:53.180 --> 01:17:54.340
Okay.

1546
01:17:54.340 --> 01:17:55.180
Awesome.

1547
01:17:56.060 --> 01:17:56.900
Awesome.

1548
01:17:56.900 --> 01:17:57.740
Anybody else?

1549
01:17:57.740 --> 01:17:58.580
This was fun tonight.

1550
01:17:58.580 --> 01:17:59.620
I never, I'm never, you know,

1551
01:17:59.620 --> 01:18:02.020
I'm always excited by what comes up.

1552
01:18:02.020 --> 01:18:04.020
Well, hopefully ladies,

1553
01:18:04.020 --> 01:18:06.780
you all got something out of it tonight.

1554
01:18:06.780 --> 01:18:08.460
It's 20 after the hour.

1555
01:18:08.460 --> 01:18:12.020
So I feel like we have covered some good ground.

1556
01:18:12.020 --> 01:18:13.140
I'm gonna close this out in prayer.

1557
01:18:13.140 --> 01:18:14.140
Father God, I just thank you

1558
01:18:14.140 --> 01:18:15.620
for each and every single woman on here

1559
01:18:15.620 --> 01:18:17.900
who is watching this live and in replay.

1560
01:18:17.900 --> 01:18:19.740
I ask that you just bless them.

1561
01:18:19.860 --> 01:18:22.580
Father God, bless them with beautiful sleep tonight.

1562
01:18:22.580 --> 01:18:24.500
I want you to give them dreams and visions

1563
01:18:24.500 --> 01:18:26.420
of all that you have for them in the future.

1564
01:18:26.420 --> 01:18:29.460
And Father God, I ask for holy boldness this week

1565
01:18:29.460 --> 01:18:31.340
that you just let your daughters know

1566
01:18:31.340 --> 01:18:33.420
that you are seen this week.

1567
01:18:33.420 --> 01:18:35.300
So I want them to all be dazzled

1568
01:18:35.300 --> 01:18:37.300
and like ready to tell us next week

1569
01:18:37.300 --> 01:18:39.140
about some random stranger that talked to them

1570
01:18:39.140 --> 01:18:40.980
and made them feel like a million bucks.

1571
01:18:40.980 --> 01:18:43.900
So we just thank you and praise you in Jesus name.

1572
01:18:43.900 --> 01:18:44.740
Amen.

1573
01:18:44.740 --> 01:18:46.980
All right, ladies, go and have a great, great night.

1574
01:18:46.980 --> 01:18:48.820
It was so fun being with you tonight.

1575
01:18:49.740 --> 01:18:50.580
Thank you.