All right. Hey everyone and welcome to our Valentine's Day all community event. Guys,
in my Facebook memories today popped up a memory from four years ago when I first started hosting
online singles events during COVID. And what I would do is I would take pink post-its and
blue post-its, I know super original, right? And I would organize them on the wall of my house
because that's literally how many people there were. So I take a blank wall of my house and I
would start putting the post-its up with the names of the people that were coming to the online event
because it was COVID, everyone was locked down, there was nothing but online. And then I would
rearrange the post-its into groups of who I thought should meet and how I wanted to match
make the people that were coming to the event as far as putting them into breakout rooms with
eligible people that I thought that they would have things in common with. And we had so many
connections through those years. And I think that I might do it again.
I think I might go back to the old post-its, although I will tell you that I want to be
obedient to Holy Spirit. And I do believe that God has said that 2024 is an in-person year.
And so we had an amazing in-person event in New York City. Some of you were there,
it was incredible. Huge turnout, you guys. Packed house. Packed house. Guys, girls, so much fun. We
talked about attachment style. I was the speaker. I talked about attachment style. And then we had
some other fun breakouts and Q&A. We had a dance party afterwards. That was super fun. For those
of you that like to dance, that was fun. And so we did all kinds of incredible things. And I do know
for sure that there were people that met last night, not last night, but at that event on
Saturday night that exchanged phone numbers and are talking now as a result of that event. So
in-person is fun. Definitely want to do more of that. And we are going to be doing a tour of the
single cities. So if you're in a single city area or you're close to one, a lot of people came in
for that New York City event from PA, from Connecticut, from Jersey, and so from DC. So if you
are in a single city area, we definitely want you guys to come in and do that. Y'all, I'm feeling
myself in this red. I should wear red more. What the heck? I found the only red thing that I own.
I'm like, it's Valentine's Day. I got to find something red. And it's a suit jacket. So I'm
dressed up, but don't care. Don't mind me. It's all right. All right, so we're going to do a
little scavenger hunt action after our Q&A with the guys. I'm just trying to entertain the troops
here until we get all of our guys here. Let me see if our last guy is here. Yes, he is. All right.
All right. Okay, so for those of you that know the he said, she said, you know the drill,
then we have all these great guys. Hold on. Did one of them get knocked out? Let me see.
All right. All the guys are spotlighted now. All right. So ladies, I want to introduce you and all
of you guys that are not in the spotlight. There's a lot of other guys here. Please answer the
questions in the chat. We want to hear from you guys as well. Everyone, please change your screen
names to your name and where you're from. We want people to see where each other are located in the
world. That it's really important in, you know, people reaching out. And a lot of times if someone
goes to try to find you in the group, they're going to find you based on that as well. So go
ahead and put your name up and where you're located. Give you guys a second to change your
Zoom windows. So we've done he said, she said over the years. It's always been a really great time.
In fact, we just had a couple engagements off of he said, she said here in the last few months.
So that's been super fun to see that happen. That's where they met. They met here, y'all,
right here in this forum, doing exactly what we're about to do tonight. But more than anything
else, what this is about is community. That is what we love to do here is we love to do community.
And so tonight it's about how can we have more community? Sorry, my computer's trying to share
on my screen right now. We don't want that. How can we have more community? How can we strengthen
community? Ladies, how can we get to know what it is that men are thinking, what they're feeling,
what they want? Men, same way. How are we going to get to know what are the women, the Christian
women, our sisters that are in community? What are they experiencing as single daughters of God?
What is it that they want? What is it they're looking for? That is why we do what we do.
So I have Renee on here with me. Renee, you're going to grab the questions.
from the chat, guys that are not in the spotlight,
please answer as well.
So go ahead and start putting your questions up
for Jonathan, Matt, David.
And I always, you know, guys, I'm so hooked on phonics,
but I say Benaiah, how do I actually say it?
Please tell me, Benaiah.
Yeah, you say it that way, yeah.
Benaiah, I did it?
You nailed it, you always nailed it every time.
I have?
Okay.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
Never got it wrong once.
Wow, I'm so impressed with myself right now.
And I'm impressed with your beard.
You didn't have a beard like that the last time I saw you.
And so here we are, I like it, it's good.
Thank you.
Okay, all right.
So you guys, so Jonathan is everywhere,
just so you know, Jonathan hails from,
you know, he can be anywhere.
He has let me know I can be anywhere that I need to be.
You're gonna hear more from him.
Benaiah is up in Dallas in the Fort Worth area.
Matt's right here in Austin,
just not that far from me over in Liberty Hill.
So not that far from me up in Cedar Park.
And then David is out, as you can see, in LA.
Also in Reading a lot.
Also gets around, right?
Gets around to a lot of different places as well.
And so we're gonna get started.
So for all of you that have questions for these guys,
put it up.
And the way tonight's gonna go is we're gonna do Q&A.
We're gonna do a little he said, she said here
for a little while.
And then we're gonna go into breakout rooms
and we're gonna do a little scavenger hunt action,
a little competition to see who has
the most love themed stuff in their houses
as a team, of course.
And whatever team can come up with all the crazy things
on this list, you guys will win the award,
the accolades as the most love infused homes in our group.
All right, okay.
So Matt disappeared, but I'm sure he'll be back.
All right, so let's get those questions going.
And we're gonna have some fun.
You guys really know holds barred,
but before we even start, I'm gonna let them go clockwise.
So it'll be Jonathan, Vinaya, David, and then Matt.
Go ahead and short, brief, powerful introduction
of yourself.
Jonathan, you go first.
I'm answering chats.
You put me on the spot.
What am I supposed to be doing?
You don't have to answer chats.
You're gonna answer the questions as I feed them to you.
The ladies are gonna put them in the chat,
but right now I just want you to introduce yourself.
Just give us the facts, sir.
The facts about you.
Okay, the facts.
Jonathan, 47 years old.
I do live many different places.
I spend winter months in the Florida
and you'll find me on my sailboat in the summertime.
I'm in the Middle East and overseas doing mission work
a lot of the time as well.
I travel the country speaking at churches.
Love the Lord and looking for a beautiful woman to marry.
All right, that's fair.
Vinaya, go ahead.
Yeah, I'm Vinaya.
I'm in Fort Worth, Texas.
I'm 33, about to be 34 in a couple months.
I'm a holistic practitioner.
I actually focus on emotional release
and spiritual dynamics.
I use muscle testing for those things.
And yeah, I'm happy to be here.
All right, you guys, that's awesome.
David, yeah, go ahead.
All right, David Kim here.
I am 45.
I have about a 20-year career
in intellectual property law and business.
And these days I'm a solo entrepreneur.
So I'm mixing a lot of things in some ministry.
I've been in Reading a whole lot.
I actually met Jackie supernaturally,
as you could say, in Reading.
That was quite an encounter.
That's such a fun story.
I think we should tell it.
Do you want us to tell the story?
For those of you that are kind of like,
eh, what does Jackie really mean she works supernaturally?
No, that is completely legit.
I was driving up my friend to Reading
to move up there from Texas, where he met Jackie.
And so I just drove up and he's like,
hey, have you heard of Jackie's program?
And I'm like, nah, okay, well, I'll sign up.
Sure, I'll do anything.
And then, so I'm messaging her
in the middle of the week while I'm in Reading.
And I'm about to text her.
And then she and her husband, David,
walk into the restaurant where we are.
And I said, what are you doing here?
Aren't you in the wrong state?
And she's like, and I'm like, yeah,
I'm here with my buddy that you know.
And she's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, the Lord's been telling me, call all my Davids.
And I'm like, okay, I'm one of those guys.
And then she's like, yeah, and you, you?
The Lord showed me your face this morning.
And I'm like, oh, okay, here's what, I'm here.
You guys, it was so fun.
I was actually texting his friend that he was with,
that he took, you know, that he moved to Reading,
helped move to Reading.
I was texting.
him as I'm walking down the street in Reading, I'm about to go into this restaurant and before
I can get the door open, the door flings open and it's the guy that I'm texting, who's his friend,
who saw me coming up as he was texting me. He's like, wait, there she is. She's right here. She's
coming into the restaurant. And so David and I were there and we, we walked in and you guys,
you can't make this stuff up. God is on the move. All right. So David Solopreneur, awesome,
awesome guy. Matt Miller. Matt, what do you got? And obviously you can see those cute littles
in the background there. Oh, you're, you're muted the entire time. So you have to, yeah,
go ahead and unmute. I know better than this. I'm on these calls all day long. So
yeah, I'm in Austin, Texas. I am a, a shameless girl, dad. I've got three girls that are,
that are seven, six and three and a half. I have them four days a week, every weekend. So it's my,
my life is very busy with them, but I wouldn't have any other way. So I've been a Christ follower
my whole life. My dad was a pastor for about 20 years. I was a worship leader myself for 20 years
before I've been on a seven-year hiatus and my girls are begging me to get back into it. So
been in construction 28 years, started off as a project engineer, project manager, superintendent,
foreman, got into quality control. Now I'm into environmental health and safety.
I'm trying to merge my way into, you know, construction management and doing,
doing more of the high level stuff, getting into doing consultant work, things like that. It's
kind of where I'm merging into. I want to be able to find more time with my girls and be able to do
a lot more stuff like that. I actually found Jackie kind of the, kind of in a similar way to David.
I had, I'd been divorced for, you know, divorced and separated for almost two and a half years and
no, no, no rush, but I felt the Lord pulling me back into dating. And then my best friend,
Mark, his dad found his wife through Jackie's program and he, he recommended me to his son.
And then that's how it happened. But for me, as the guys are looking for a woman who loves Christ
more than I do. I think the only way you can truly love your partner adequately, the way the
word of God says for us to is you can't love your partner more than anything else. You have to love
Christ first because he's got to prep your heart for that. You cannot have your heart empty. Those
holes just get filled up with idols. But if you have Christ first, your heart's overflowing,
you can receive that person. And that's how I'm trying to raise my girls and show them
the value in that. And they're, they're wanting to have daddy be happy with somebody
and have a bonus mom. So that's a big thing for them too. So.
Yeah. Awesome. All right. We just got like 15, 20 women already saying, can I marry him? Great.
Wonderful. All right. So you guys, for, for those of you that heard that his friend's father found
success through this program, it was Ralph. So if you know, you know, I know a lot of you ladies
were here from the Ralph era. So, you know, who Ralph is and you know, Ralph and Diana met on,
he said, she said, that's how they got married. And so come on. All right. So we have a lot of
great questions for you guys. And, um, not all of you have to answer the same question. We'll just
feed you the questions and we'll go from there. Um, let's keep those answers short, brief and
powerful because we don't have lots of time. And so we want to make sure we get as many questions
answered as we can guys. And so first and foremost, uh, the ladies want to know, what do you guys do
for fun? So we'll start, uh, we started clockwise. We'll start counterclockwise. We'll start with
you, Matt on that. We'll go to David, go to Benaiah and then Jonathan, what do you do for fun?
And don't say like worship the Lord. What do you do for fun? We want to know like outside of that,
all of you, what else do you do for fun? My, all three of my girls have varying, um,
like just demands of things they like to do. But for me personally, I mean, this may be a turnoff
for certain people, but I, I haven't hunted for about 10 years, but I love hunting. I love the
outdoors. I love camping, hiking. Um, but I also like to go to the shooting range every once in a
while. And my girls are into that too. Um, they, we also do a lot of like road trips. Sometimes
we'll drive up to Waco. We'll go down to San Antonio, go to the Riverwalk. I actually weird.
I enjoy antique shopping. My mom got me into it like 30 years ago. So my girls love to do that.
They've helped me pick out some of the stuff I've got in my house. Um, also going to playgrounds,
going to places to listen to music, you know, just doing all kinds of stuff for them.
You're in, you're in your dad era. You're in your dad. It's a lot of fun. So I'm just looking for
somebody to go along with that. I mean, they love it. And, uh, that's kind of, it's, it's a lot of
center around the girls, but for myself, I mean, I'm a foodie. I love to go out and eat. I,
the occasional something like that. So it's, it's, it's kind of really open for a lot of stuff.
up. So okay, yeah, it sounds like you like last up the
hunting things important, because I just had a I just had
a guy that matched with a woman that's one of my private
clients. And the whole hunting thing was a deal breaker for
like, legit a deal breaker. She doesn't eat meat. And she
doesn't want anyone, you know, killing the meat that she
doesn't eat. So there you have it. All right, David, what do
you got?
All right, so I'm pretty, pretty open to all sorts of things.
There's a generally I'll try most anything once. After that,
no guarantees. I've got no guarantees. Adventurous. But
there's a lot of I'll try a lot of things. I'll try a lot of
things. But yeah, so that does include me. So I'm the word
here. I'm more here. Matt, you're very inspiring. You know,
one day hope to have a hope to have dad my dad season. So
that'll be a lot of fun. But aside from that, I'm kind of
just raised a city guy. I do all sorts of nature things. But it's
not like, you know, get me out into get me out into a camper.
You know, I'll do camping, but most of the times, kind of a
indoor activities.
That's just how I love that, David. Yeah, my idea of camping
is in a cabin. So no 10. Yeah, nice, like maybe like a nice
Class A RV or something, you know, with a toilet, you know,
running water, all the things. Okay, I love that. That's super
honest. weirdest food you ever tried since you said, I'll try
anything. Tell us what the weirdest food is.
Okay, all right. So I have this thing here. I say that. So
someone brought something that was pretty strange. Someone
brought me a burlap bag. And inside there was a snake. It
does taste like chicken. It does taste it was like a cooked
snake. Well, so we're in China. We're in China. It was a gourmet
restaurant. It was a gourmet restaurant, but it's so
authentic. You know, some places have like, you know, live like
pretty authentic. I serve it. So you like? Yeah, our host was
like, yeah, let's do it. And we're like, and it came out. No,
it just it just looked like squares of meat. You couldn't
tell. Okay, yeah. Whoo. That's scary. And guys on here that are
not being spotlighted. Please feel free to put your answers in
the chat. The ladies want to hear from you as well. Not
everyone can be spotlighted all only actually lets me spotlight
for people at a time. So go ahead and put your answers in
the chat. Okay, but now you're up. What do you like to do for
fun?
I actually really do love meat. And I love coffee. I like
walking. I like animals a lot. Even though I love meat.
Actually, you know, I kind of have my cake and eat it to
there. Actually, yeah. Um, yeah, recently started volunteering at
this this animal shelter in town because I can't have a dog where
I live. And so like, I'm kind of trying to scratch the itch.
And it was just seemed like a fun idea. And so I do that. It's
kind of combining a couple of my favorite things.
I love that. That's so sweet. Okay, so you can't have a you
can't have an animal Do any of the rest of you have animals
just really quickly? Are you cat people? Are you dog people? Or
you know, animal people at all in the house people?
Um, I mean, I, I love animals. And I plan on one day having
animals. I just can't currently but like, okay. Yeah, I mean,
any anything with for generally, I'm gonna love it. It like I
like cats fine. I'm not crazy about cats like I am dogs, but
I'm not against them either. Um, they're honestly just kind of
gross. Like they're cool. They're interesting. They're
they're fun. They just Yeah, there's a whole bunch of hygiene
problems that come with cats. But
cats are dirty. Y'all. I know ladies that you love cats, but I
don't care. Fight me. Box and then they walk all over your
kitchen counters and stuff. Okay, Jonathan, what do you got?
Yes, I really enjoy cooking, especially in as a team and
partnership. I'm the meat guy and the sous chef. So if you've
got some recipes, I can make that happen. I really enjoy
getting out running walking. I'm an ambassador. So I really enjoy
breaking bread and building relationships with people. And
every summer I love to be sailing on my sailboat. I just
it's such a good time. And also dancing. I love a waltz. I love
the intimacy of dancing and getting good dance moves going.
Yeah, that's about it for now.
Right, people want to know your favorite worship song. Alright,
so we'll start we'll go this way around. But I what's your
favorite worship song put you on the spot. Like you guys, a lot of
worship music nowadays. Modern sounds alike. So you could even
just tell us
your favorite song, just in general?
If I had to pick an all-time favorite,
it'd probably be, Be Thou My Vision.
That is a beautiful song.
And there's a lot of people
who've done a pretty good rendition of it.
So I had to pick that one.
Yeah, I'm going to have to Google that one.
I don't know if I know that one.
All right, that's cool.
All right, David does.
David, what do you got?
That's a classic.
That's a good choice right there.
So I've been in a lot of Jesus Image lately.
And so this morning, I was just like,
there's a song called You Are Holy,
which is, I mean, that's gotta be like every praise song.
But their rendition of it, their rendition of it.
Don't know about all time,
but that's the one that's come into mind.
Love that.
Matt, Matt used to be a worship leader.
He is a worship leader, or he used to be.
So lots of music there.
I'm getting back into it.
So I have a couple.
So one of my all time oldies,
but goodies is Blessed Assurance.
That's a great one.
I know that one.
You can play very unplugged and low key,
or have a full on band behind it.
But then also there's a newer one.
Has anybody heard of Brandon Lake?
Oh yeah.
So my daughters will make me play
his rendition of Gratitude,
probably 20 times on a road trip.
It's like the only song I can do.
And I caught my three and a half year old in her car seat,
eyes closed, both hands up.
And I'm like, baby, you're doing a great job.
She goes, I love this song, dad.
I'm like, so yeah.
Blessed Assurance and then Gratitude.
But I also like,
there's anything by Phil Wickham.
I like that too.
And then I'm an old school third day guy too,
just because of the kind of classic rock style worship.
So much of that, but yeah.
I love that.
It's awesome.
Love it.
Sometimes I have to put my-
Guitar.
Anything with a guitar, right?
Some guitar in there.
All right.
Yeah.
All right, Jonathan.
I think it's called Reckless Love.
It's the overwhelming reckless love of God
chases me and fights me.
Yeah.
So I love playing that and singing it.
It's beautiful on the guitar.
Love it.
So good.
All right.
Okay.
So we want to keep going now.
What's the most beautiful place that you've ever seen,
that you've ever seen?
David, we're going to start with you
and we're going to go around this way.
So David, the most beautiful place
you've ever seen before, like in real life,
not in a picture, that you've ever visited,
that you've ever seen.
Man, with these days, Instagram coming into my feed,
I feel like I've been to so many places,
but it's like, no, you haven't.
I think probably,
man, I did backpacking in Europe years ago.
So it was just like all that scenery.
It just seems like Disney, all these castles.
That was pretty impressive.
Okay.
Yeah, that's great.
Okay.
Benaiah.
This is really hard.
I feel like there's a few places,
like I guess New Zealand was probably the place
where all things equal, just anywhere you looked,
it was pretty and beautiful in some way.
Costa Rica is like,
because if you go to the cities in Costa Rica,
it's still really cool.
But if you go anywhere out on the beaches of the country,
it's just unreal.
So I feel like it's probably between those two places
and it's kind of difficult to choose
because they're also pretty different looking.
Like one's tropical and rainforesty
and the other one's like all like idyllic pastures
and sheep and stuff.
And it's kind of depends on what you're into, yeah.
Benaiah, you broke up on my end.
What was the two?
Is Costa Rica one or the other?
You broke up on my end.
What was the two?
Is Costa Rica and what else?
New Zealand.
Costa Rica's phenomenal.
You got, you have,
I don't know if people have been to New Zealand,
but a lot of people are like saying amen to Costa Rica.
So look in the chat there, Benaiah,
you'll see a lot of, yeah, me too for Costa Rica.
Yeah, Costa Rica, have you ever been there?
Like the East, the Pacific coast of it
and the Caribbean coast are two totally different areas,
just the sand, the beaches and all that.
So it's like, it's such a different world
going to either side of such a small country,
but it's gorgeous there and it's super cheap.
So if you want to go there,
it's like, it doesn't cost a lot.
Yeah, let's do it.
You guys, single nation, his Costa Rica, let's go.
Come on.
All right, Jonathan, what do you got?
But Benaiah is going to lead the trip.
He's going to be the tour guide.
Here we go.
You know what?
Okay, I'm in.
I'll do it.
Thanks, where are we going?
Let's do it.
I'm not kidding.
I'm an Enneagram seven.
I'm all in, let's go.
All right.
Go ahead, Jonathan.
So for me, I have two places,
Northern Scotland, Inverness area,
the Emerald green of the region there,
the grass.
the mountains, the hillsides, it's beautiful.
And then there's a mountain range that divides
in the Northern part of Iraq and the Northern part of Iran
that divides Iran from Iraq.
There's a mountain range there
that's just unbelievably beautiful.
Wow.
We're gonna take your word for it there.
We're gonna take your, who wants to go?
You can go.
Who wants to go to Iran or Iraq or Iraq?
Who wants to go to those places with Jonathan?
Who wants to go?
Put it in the chat right now
because that is a prerequisite to winning that man's heart
because his heart is there.
He loves his Muslim brothers and sisters.
God has given him a mission there.
And so got a lot of people like, I'll go.
All right, Matt, where's the most beautiful place?
Did you say yet?
I mean, I would have to say Costa Rica when I went there.
So it's, yeah, I'm in the same, it's the same boat there.
So, and also I've been, I love the Caribbean when I can go.
I mean, some people hate cruises, some love them.
So I can either go destination or cruises
or things like that when you have lots of ports of call.
But St. John, St. Martin, you know,
pretty much all those areas in the Caribbean
are just so gorgeous, clear white beach sand.
You can see six to 10 feet down into the end of the,
through the water.
So anytime I go, I love to go to anywhere
where there's a combination of mountains and beaches
and coves and things like that.
So, yeah.
That sounds incredible.
I love that.
All right, guys, now we're gonna get serious.
Those were kind of the warmup questions, right?
All right, so now we're gonna get,
describe and remember short, brief and powerful,
your ideal woman, describe her.
As far as you know, right now, obviously God can,
you know, God can give us the best thing
we never knew we even wanted.
He's really good at that,
but describe some attributes that she has.
Maybe list like two or three attributes
that you know would be a compliment to your life
and something that you're looking for,
you know, in a spirit mate, all right?
And we're gonna go ahead and start with Jonathan
and we'll go back around clockwise.
Well, the first thing that hit me when you said that
was the word courageous.
My ideal person needs to be courageous
and not just courageous with how they engage with the world,
but how they understand themselves,
how they know their self
and how vulnerable they're willing to be
and intimate they're willing to be in relationship,
in intimate relationship with me.
So courage is the major requirement for intimacy
and going into the world and doing the work that I do.
Right, awesome, yeah, that's good, courageous.
All right, Anaya.
I mean, I'm really attracted to authenticity
and open-mindedness, a quirky sense of humor is always nice.
If you're just willing to laugh at yourself
and just laugh a lot, like we're probably gonna get along,
like, you know, just someone who kind of naturally
finds joy in things and is just able to relax
and be comfortable in their own skin.
I feel like it really says a lot about someone
and I really appreciate that.
And I second also the courage piece, like Jonathan said,
like it's living a purposeful life, it takes courage.
You have to take a lot of stands
and you have to really like contend for what you feel
God designed you to be and what he designed you to do.
And that's also, you know, anyone who is living like that,
I really admire that.
I mean, I think that's a really good point.
Is living like that, you know, I really admire that
and I feel like I really connect with people like that.
Awesome, yeah, David?
David and Matt had a little easier
because they got a little bit more time to think.
So what do you got?
But listening to these two guys, I'm just like,
oh, they took, I'm like, oh, there's, oh, okay.
Yeah, because I-
Listen, you're allowed to like this,
you're allowed to-
Going first has advantages.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I do, you know,
what's been coming on my radar a lot is authenticity.
It's true, not because like I personally thought of it,
but I've just heard of it a lot.
I've heard a lot about it.
And I think it just makes a lot of sense.
It's just where I am, it's just a lot of sense to me.
And so I think authenticity,
I don't mean like be up in my face, right?
And, you know, be like, this is who I am, accept me or not.
You know, just not exactly, I mean, you know,
self-confidence is good, right?
Self-confidence is good.
Right.
But I think what Benah is getting at
that I really resonate with is a sense of
there's some kind of self-awareness
and acceptance of who a person is, who they are,
and be willing to be like, courageously accept that.
Courageously be like, this is who I am,
and not in an offensive kind of way,
but in a presenting kind of way.
So I-
agree with that. I think the other thing that's coming to mind is loyal. I mean that's, I don't,
I think that can be something that's, that's, that's kind of more of a product of a couple,
but the loyalty comes to mind. Yeah, good answers. And Matt?
I would say for me, there's a combo of a few, but you know, being, being patient,
um, being selfless, um, being kind. I think all men can, all the men on this panel can speak to
the fact that we deal with a lot of crap in life outside and at work and trying to provide for our
family and stuff. And we just want to come home to peace. You know, we don't want to have to come
home and, and, and have arguments and battles when we get home and, but you can work through that
stuff. Nobody's perfect, but to be able to understand that there's a woman that understands
how, that they can rely on you to protect, to provide, to, you know, make them feel at peace.
And so, you know, and, and a woman, this is not on the spiritual side, but a woman who's feminine,
a woman that's okay being that, a woman that's okay with me being masculine with that. And I
believe in those traditional roles, but at the same time, it's not like a, a subservient versus
a dictator. It's, it's, it's, it's not a caveman, Matt. I mean, I can be, I mean, I don't know.
We're always supposed to embody what, what the word says that a marriage is supposed to exemplify
the relationship with Christ and the church. So, I mean, that's what I think all the guys
in this panel really want, but just a woman that can be patient too, and understand that,
you know, we're guys, I mean, we, we're very, very simple. We want only a handful of things
and our minds are so compartmentalized. We can just like turn stuff off. So just being
patient and understanding that, you know, we want to be there for you and we want to protect and
provide, but having those attributes are extremely important. And, you know, we specialize in that
divine masculine and feminine as part of, you know, that mandate that God has given us to
restore marriage and family and restoring our identities. And of course that's going to look
different on everybody, but at the same time, there are some things that are going to be similar.
Reminding everyone about Matt, he does have a shared parenting agreement, so he can't relocate.
And so Liberty Hill, Austin, Texas, Cedar park, this is where he is until those beautiful little
girls are grown. All right. So let's keep that in mind with the chat there. All right.
Let's talk about something difficult. Let's, let's, let's find out some more about, you know,
pressure, you know, grace under pressure type of thing. Can you describe to us,
you know, one of the most difficult things that you've been through and what you learned from it?
So just, you know, as men in this generation, there's a lot of difficulties. Everyone suffers,
everyone suffers differently. Talk to us about, you know, something difficult that you experienced,
whether it was a death of a parent or some other type of thing that happened,
loss of a job, the loss of a dream, the loss of a marriage, it doesn't matter what it is,
but what you learned from it, maybe what you learned about God in your life from it doesn't
matter, but let's just definitely make sure that we keep the answer short, brief and powerful.
And we're going to start with David for this question. Oh, sorry guys. Let me find out who's
unmuted. All right, go ahead. All right. So this is David. I'm pretty social. And for a long time,
I thought I was just a helpful person. And in my twenties and my thirties, I got into mercy ministry,
like helping low income, you know, just people who got into like substance abuse or mental illness,
you know, things like that. And it took a while, but what I had thought was a generous heart,
I had found out was mixed with a childhood trauma. So my mother died when I was around seven.
And then my father was, of course, you know, totally like devastated. And I remember the day
when he picked us up at school, and I saw his face, and that the horror on his face came to me,
and I kind of accepted it. And it was either a thought, a memory, a spirit, however you want to
call it. And then that ended up feeding my help addiction, if you want to call it like that. I
ended up just being super helpful to people, and I didn't know why. And then I realized, oh,
every time I see somebody in need, I see dad. Wow. And so I realized that I thought I was a
Sunday school raised kid. So I thought I'm just a nice Christian guy, help the poor, whatever,
you know, this is just good. And I was commended for it. But this
thing was under the surface. And it wasn't until I got to LA and
was doing some projects on like, you know, personal ministry with
Skid Row and this kind of thing that I'm like, this ain't
working. I don't know why it's not working. And then I had some
people come in, the Lord sent some people to kind of open this
up for me, I got counseling, and then like, boom, there it was,
I'm like, Oh, oh, oh, okay, me helping people. This was a daddy
issue. I didn't know that. So the Lord saved me out of that. So
for all you people, pleasers. Go get your healing, you know, go
get your healing.
It's so it's so good. And it's so true. Because you know, I
used to be a social worker. And I had the same thing, David. And
when I work with the homeless, you'll really get busted out of
that quick. Because if you are a giver, a toxic giver, you will
be surrounded by toxic takers. And you can lose your life like
that, you know, just like burnout and over, you know, over,
you know, a gift that's overextended by trauma becomes a
weakness, right? Which is what you're talking about right here.
And that's so good. And so now you have boundaries. That's that
little B word we always talk about, where you help people
when God's telling you to help them and the rest of the people
just God bless. And you know, you know that God has a
solution for them, but it's not you. And so love that. That's so
good. And it's so ladies, it's so refreshing to hear a man say
that they struggle with that, because usually toxic people
pleasing is more of a woman thing. Like I know a lot of
women that are toxic people pleasers, but we don't really
think of guys having that. But I know a lot of guys that actually
have, you know, had to overcome that. So David, thanks for
sharing that. And so we're gonna go around.
We're gonna go on that. For those that kind of what really
was a tip off for me was that my power source was not love. It
was fear. Oh, yeah. Well, that wasn't any good. Right? Fear of
disappointing people, letting them down. Fear of Yeah, so
good. So good. All right. So we're gonna go around this way
this time. So Matt, you're up. Something hard you went through
and what you learned. Matt Miller,
you feel and that's, um, basically, I would say it was my
my divorce. Because this is, you know, this is, it's tough to
talk about. But I believe in transparency. That's another
thing I didn't mention. But this is not my first divorces too. So
I was married when I was 25 to a 19 year old, didn't see a lot
of the red flags that I should have seen. And there was
unfaithfulness in that and the entire last year of our six year
marriage. And then I was single for for a few years and got back
into it. And then it was didn't see anything because it was I
was pretty much conned into it. And then I had three girls and
then there was massive infidelity. So I had to work
through a lot of trust. And I had to work through you know,
being literally being insulted in front of my girls by my
ex-wife and and the reputation destruction that I've tried to
have to wade through since then. But loving on my ex-wife,
despite not reciprocation. And that's been the toughest thing
that God's taught me is that I've learned very valuable
lessons that when we choose to have anger, in situations, it
turns into resentment, and then that can become very toxic,
which can bleed over into other areas of your life. And I found
the Lord really pointed me to love and forgiveness to love my
ex-wife, despite her hatred of me. And it's been amazing,
because even my small little daughters have noticed the
difference about observing mommy always says this about you, but
why don't you ever talk mean about mommy? And I said, well,
that's Christ calls us to love everybody, even if they don't
love you. And that's been one of the biggest things for me is
that when I took the high road that God pointed me to, my
daughters have seen that and the way I've reacted to their mom
has been the biggest example to my daughters of how they are
supposed to treat those people in their friend groups in soccer
at school, when they're mistreated, they literally say
daddy, I treated this person the way that you treat mommy when
when she's mad at you. I didn't I didn't get mad at them. I just
told them how it made me feel. And then I ignore them and I
don't let it doesn't bother me. So that was how God took a very
hurtful situation and used it as both a learning experience for
me. And a teachable moment for my daughters, which continue to
reap huge benefits in their movement beyond the divorce.
And so important because you do have daughters and if you had a
son showing him how to treat women and how to protect women,
even sometimes protecting women from themselves is so important.
at raising daughters as a father and, um, showing them, you know, how you're
treating their mother, that's so important and friends, I want to say
something that I think is, you know, I would never just say this like as a
Facebook post or an Instagram post, cause it would be a soundbite and
it needs further explanation.
But I think that we, we need to take divorce more seriously.
I know that we always say we need to take marriage seriously.
Sure.
We need to take marriage seriously.
You guys know, I'm a huge advocate of marriage.
Um, obviously I've dedicated my life to the revival of marriage and family, but
we need to take divorce more seriously, meaning that a lot more people
should be divorced than are.
There's a lot of people that are trapped in abusive situations and, you
know, and they're getting deeper and deeper trauma, deeper and
deeper and deeper trauma.
Okay.
And Ben and I, you understand you're in a helping field like I am.
And, you know, I have run into so many students and so many private
clients that stayed year after year, after year, after year, after year,
because of a misunderstanding about what divorce is for and why God
gave it in the first place.
Um, and you know, and how we can utilize it to remove ourselves from a place
where, you know, some people don't recover from the amount of abuse that
they, that they receive when they're in ongoing traumatic situations, it
takes years and years and years and years to come out of that complex PTSD.
And so I know a lot of you have that story.
And so shame off you for divorce.
I'm glad that you were finally able that those of you that had situations
like the one that Matt described to be able to come out of it, to go through
a full forgiveness cycle, to release people, to learn from it.
Um, it's so important.
And, and, you know, I'm, I'm glad that you're free from those situations
and on the road of healing.
It's so good.
All right.
So
in a second, you said Jackie too, is like, you know, I'm, I want
everybody to know is like, just like these other guys, even though I'm 45,
I'm open for more kids.
If that was God's has, whether or not they're my bonus kids or depending
because the range is out there.
I don't, I mean, I want to find the right woman, but like, yeah.
Open for more kids.
I always wanted a very large family.
So it's like, it's one of those things where I love having my daughters, but
to have someone who does not have a father in, in, in the, uh, in the
picture and be able to help raise up their son by being a God, the example
of what a man is supposed to be my girls, I'm using them to know how, what
to expect in a man and how to be ladies.
So yeah, that's
being able to Matt is open to kinsmen, redeemer role ladies, and then also
open to biological children.
I'm assuming as well.
I'm Jonathan is also open to having more children.
He has a, is it a 22 year old biological son, Jonathan?
Yes, 22.
Okay.
And then, um, and then Benaiah has never been married, doesn't have any kids.
And so definitely open to biological children.
Um, and, uh, and then David as well, never been married, no children,
definitely open to children as well.
So Jonathan, go ahead.
Hard.
I mean, the question is we're answering.
Okay.
Hard thing.
Um, uh, so I, so from 2003 to 2018, I was back and forth to Iraq and Afghanistan
and participating in armed conflict.
Exceptionally difficult.
Um, I have total of three and a half years in Iraq and one year in Afghanistan.
Um, lots of loss, uh, experienced during that time.
And during those times as well, I experienced, uh, my first divorce and
then my second divorce happened as well.
Um, so armed conflict has, has, has, um, created lots of trauma for me.
And not just, not just the conflict itself, but divorce.
Um, and then doing mission work.
Um, I had some losses, um, with some friends, uh, overseas as well.
So, but that wasn't the most difficult thing.
Well, the most difficult thing that I experienced was, was my human
reaction to those traumas, which was, um, I began to participate in the use
of alcohol, sex, drugs, and things to numb out the pain, things to just
disappear from the reality of my experience.
And, uh, the hardest part was, was doing the work, um, to work through all
that stuff and become, um, um, whole again.
Um, and, and, and the moment in which that happened, uh, you know, I've been
to seven different programs, seven different recovery programs, working
on myself, getting fit, losing weight.
You know, I ate my feelings, food.
I sexualized my feelings.
I alcoholed my feelings.
And, uh, what ultimately, um, healed me and saved me is when I finally had a
knockdown drag out with God, where I was basically just shaking my fist at him,
cussing at him saying you did me wrong.
Yeah.
And, uh, and all I felt back from him was love.
Wow.
So good.
And look at you now.
Wow.
God is so good.
You guys, God is so kind.
You know, and he's not afraid of our, you know, he's not afraid of our distrust or our
anger.
You know, he's not afraid of those things.
And you know, he's still with us in all of that.
I love that.
I mean, that's a lot of stuff.
You know, I have, I have a brother-in-law that did a few different tours in Afghanistan
and Iraq.
And, you know, those guys come back changed, you know, those that see, you know, active
conflict and battle and, you know, he was high up in his company in the Marines and
he saw, he lost a lot of friends and a lot of guys.
There's a lot.
So first of all, we obviously thank you for your service, especially us Americans.
We don't take that lightly, but also seeing, you know, what you've had to work through
to get back, you know, to get back what you lost through those years.
And so I think we can all say that we're glad you didn't give up and that obviously God
never gave up on you.
So, so good.
Thank you.
Thank you for your kind words.
Yeah.
Ben and Aya, you're up.
You guys are going to make me cry.
I got some tears ready to go here.
First of all, Jackie, I wish we could talk all night about what you said earlier about
the divorce issue and just want to give dignity to the people who've been through that.
Yeah.
Couldn't agree more with what you said.
And thank you guys for sharing everything you've been through.
I just really appreciate the grace with which you went through it and the grace with which
you just delivered that.
I had a logistics company and it was pretty large and it went under.
And in the midst of that, there were friendships who were involved in that.
People who I trusted to help me with the business, they were keeping things from me.
I found out about them too late.
Around the same time, both of my parents were diagnosed with cancer.
And the girl who I was dating at the time, which was the most serious relationship I'd
ever had.
And we were really close, but she ended up breaking up with me too.
And so, you know, when it rains, it pours.
And it was really freaking hard.
I think that probably one of the most encouraging things that I saw going through it was just
my reaction to it.
It was a testament to how much work God's done on me over the last several years in
the last few in particular.
And that I was even able to navigate all that, stay calm, keep it together, keep moving,
handle business, that kind of a thing.
And I just had to practice, I just had to continue practicing what I preach.
My life message is personal transformation and the importance of the holistic picture
about what it looks like.
The fact that we have a human spirit, our human spirit is meant to be in dominion over
our soul and our body and needs to be empowered and nurtured.
Our soul is complex altogether.
I mean, we think about 70,000 thoughts a day, probably, and we're driven by our subconscious.
And in the midst of all that, we're just driven by all this emotion.
And I had all this emotion, all this stress, and there was just nowhere to go.
There was nowhere to run from it.
And so I had to continue to just release stuff.
I had to release stuff that was coming up, that was old, that was still in there that
God wanted to heal.
There was stuff that was just surface level, that was just continual daily stressors.
And that's what you got to do when you're going through something hard.
You have to accept that God's trying to teach you things, trying to use a good crisis to
make you stronger, heal you more, teach you more things about him and his faithfulness.
And there's been a lot of really good intimacy with God in the seasons of my life where things
were really hard.
And there was a good opportunity to lean in on all that.
And I learned a lot, too, about just areas of weakness, even areas of well-intentioned
weakness.
You have to be balanced when you deal with people.
I wish I could talk more about all the business lessons I learned from that failure and the
personal lessons I learned and all that stuff.
I guess, but just to sum all of it up, at the end of the day, in a weird way, going
through all of that gave me a deeper appreciation both for just how faithful God is and how
much he loves you no matter what you accomplish or not.
He doesn't really care about what you accomplish for him as much as he cares about you being
who he made you to be.
And also just how, in a weird way, even though there was a lot of failure there, I gained
a lot of confidence and groundedness in who I am and my ability to deal with crisis.
So I'll stop there.
Yeah.
So good.
So good, guys.
I'll stop there.
I mean, we were going to do some like a game and stuff tonight,
but I think we're just going to stay here for Q and A because it's just getting
so deep.
And I think that most of the women are just blown away to, you know,
see men sharing so vulnerably and, you know, um, regardless of whether or not,
you know, you're their spirit mate, um, just learning to see, you know,
godly good men, um, and how they feel about things, not perfect men,
but godly and good men and,
and how willing they are to do the work and to show up, um,
and let God make them into their best selves. So that's really important.
Jack, I have a quick question for the ladies. Are you, cause I'm,
I'm hearing this, like hearing from Jonathan, Vinaya, David, myself.
Are you ladies not used to hearing guys be like this vulnerable and this
transparent? Because from the chat,
like I appreciate what these guys are doing. And this is,
this is how most men, I hope guys correct me if I'm wrong.
This is how most men want to be that are faithful followers of the Lord.
They want to be vulnerable,
but there's a lot of fear with being vulnerable because they're afraid of being
judged by their partner or the woman they're with on being vulnerable
because the world, these red pill guys talk about,
don't be vulnerable with your woman. She'll lose respect for you.
But in my perspective, when you have vulnerability as a couple,
that's what can galvanize you because your wife,
your partner needs to know how to pray for you, how to support you,
how to be there for you. And in the same regard, you need that for her.
That's what galvanizes a relationship to sinful,
imperfect people merging together for something that God created
to exemplify Him.
Which is why we hold space for that.
And so the ladies are used to seeing guys in our community do that,
but maybe not necessarily in other places in their lives.
And so we definitely hold space for that. And so let's talk about,
you were just talking about what it looks like to be married and, you know,
and that, you know,
that coming together and how that's going to benefit both people.
Let's have some fun and talk about what do you like,
what's your dream for you and your future wife? You know,
what do you see yourselves doing together?
What are some of your dreams that you would love a woman to partner with you in?
And then of course you would partner in things that she felt strongly about as
well. But do you, I mean,
we all spend time thinking about what our future marriage would look like when
we're single.
And so can you guys share some of those thoughts with us that you have about
what that might look like? Once again, ladies,
if you don't fit the criteria of that, but you do feel a connection,
it doesn't mean that you have to fit the criteria of that.
It's just a fun question to kind of see what these guys are dreaming
about as far as marriages for minister ministry,
because we're all ministers of reconciliation. So it's for something right.
It's for us to do something together.
And so what does that look like as far as you guys know it? And so, David,
we're going to start with you.
So there's this really fascinating perspective that was just
introduced recently. So I'm really focusing on this.
So I had a, I had a counselor talk to me about how,
how to approach a relationship. Fundamentally that these are friendships,
you know, ultimately, you know, it's,
it's being with somebody for a very long period of time and through thick and
thin. And the way he came at it that was kind of a new idea to me is,
is David, you know, maybe you have a, maybe me,
I have an opportunity to meet somebody and have
like no agenda, right?
No agenda other than like kind of discovering the other person for who they
are. I don't know if this is idealistic, right?
There's something about kind of the purity of,
of one person and another person and, you know,
try not to change each other, not to change each other the best we can,
you know, within, within about what the Bible teaches,
but in a sense kind of we find out about the other person to find out
about me. Cause otherwise, I mean, if I wanted to, I could foist,
you know, expectations, hopes, and dreams upon this other person that might crush
them, right? Cause they're like, I don't know about that, you know,
and I could get into all that, but I thought about that.
And so I'm kind of one thinking kind of right now is, is there,
do women think like that or do they, is it also hard for them? Like they have,
you know, wants and desires that might come on me and that, you know,
might be kind of difficult to, to, to carry. So I'm,
I'm thinking about, you know, it's in this way,
it kind of makes it like,
I don't even know what that's going to look like except a lot of,
a lot of mutual exploration. So that's kind of where I am these days.
Yeah. That's fair. All right. Then I already have.
You know,
I feel like as far as what I want to do with my life,
I want to do with my spouse.
Like I want our marriage to be a partnership.
Ideally I would like to be with someone who,
there's maybe some overlap of some kind
between what I do and they,
so that we have that point of intimacy and joy bonding
to talk about what we do together,
maybe even collaborate.
I think that'd be awesome if we could find that.
But at the end of the day,
I'm really passionate about trying to legitimize
and advance a lot of the spiritual healing
and spiritual dynamics, that spiritual health piece,
and get really specific with it,
find more about the principles about how things work,
why things, why some people seem like their lives work
and why some people don't.
And when we've exhausted everything
and we've tried everything that we know to try,
there's still these people who are stuck
and they're playing their hearts out.
And those are the people that I really want to help.
And that's a large part about,
that's a large component of what I want to do with my life.
And I would love to have a spouse who feels the same,
feels as passionate about that,
feels as passionate about trying to figure out
individual design and essence as I do.
I love the personality dynamic stuff
and trying to figure out what mold everybody is,
because I just firmly believe that,
like that's just so important
in connecting with God individually.
So I hope I'm answering this question.
No, yeah, no, you are.
The way I heard it was like,
yeah, what do you want to do with your life,
with your spouse?
And I just feel like I want to do kingdom work
with my spouse and that specific kind of kingdom work.
And then I just want to be able to like raise kids together
and have a lot of fun together
and like be able to like come home
and have a family that has a good, vibrant, spiritual life.
Because I feel like, and that's another thing,
is like our spiritual walks have been,
we've been taught to center them around church
and around an external institutional thing.
But I really think at the end of the day,
like it's the spiritual life is supposed to come
from the family more than that.
And I think that life is supposed to flow
to those things from the family.
And so develop, I don't claim to be an expert on it,
but I want a spouse who wants to collaborate, experiment,
what might that look like,
and really develops like a cool lifestyle together
in that respect that could form a family.
The kingdom, you guys, it's a family model.
So the kingdom is definitely a family model.
So love that answer.
And you guys, I know we've gotten serious here
and we're doing serious stuff.
We're going to do a little this and that
to end our Q&A tonight after Jonathan and Matt.
So guys get ready because you're going to have choices,
this or that here in just a few minutes.
Jonathan, what's kind of your dream for marriage?
Why get married if we don't like,
if it's not a two-person assignment,
we don't need a helpmate, right?
And so the desire to get married,
what does it look like for you?
Well, the word adventure and journey comes up for me.
And I think it's an adventure and a journey
for two to become one flesh.
So it's the journey of discovering each other emotionally,
discovering each other spiritually, psychologically,
discovering each other sexually.
And then the adventure part of it.
What are the practical things
that we're going to do with our life?
Right now, I spend winters in Florida.
I spend summers on my sailboat in the Puget Sound.
I travel all over the place.
And so if you're an adventurous person,
you like to travel, that might be interesting.
But if you want to have children and nest
and have a home base or several home bases,
that might be something that works out pretty good as well.
The key is for me,
somebody who's courageous enough to share
who they really are with me
and let me show grace and mercy in that space.
And I expect the same thing in return.
So let's become one flesh.
Love it, y'all.
Okay, listen, ladies,
I'm gonna lay down some ground rules here
because we are a community
and we are a community of honor, okay?
And in order to be a community of honor,
we don't do dating app kind of stuff here,
meaning we don't reach out and talk to people
and then people ghost you or they don't talk back to you
because you're not what they're looking for.
All of these men, I have relationship
as someone who is helping matchmake them
and bringing them into community
and know some of the criteria
that they're looking for in the match
that they're looking for.
Brought them on here because it adds value to our community
for us to hear from men and good men and godly men.
So you know they exist.
And you guys, there's so many more of them besides.
is these that are right here tonight.
There's so many more of them.
Of course, you guys know your brothers
that are in the men's mentorship group
that come a lot, come to prayer,
come to other co-ed stuff.
These are guys all outside of that group
that are guys that I'm working with
and spotlighting and trying to match up.
And so come through us if you want to meet one of them.
If you're already friends with them on Facebook,
that's great, but none of these four men
need a barrage of hundreds of friend requests
that they then have to sift through
and figure out who, without offending anyone
or without hurting their feelings.
Because remember, this is a singles group
and it's a marriage-minded singles group.
So if you're reaching out,
then it's obviously for mostly romantic reasons, right?
And so let's try to sift through that together.
Jonathan, Jonathan obviously has never been here before
because he put his phone number up in the chat.
I'm like, sir, that's probably not the best idea.
Probably don't want to do that.
Don't blow up my phone.
I'm like, sir, wait a minute.
Too late, you just got 85 DMs, Jonathan.
Light them up.
Don't be mad if I don't get right back.
Light them up, teach them a lesson.
But ladies, I want you to look at them realistically,
okay, about what you have in common with them.
You know, what connection that you have?
Are you, do you carry attributes
that they're looking for, you know, in a wife?
Remember, there's no scarcity mindset.
There's more where these guys came from.
And not only look at that realistically, okay,
and spiritually as well,
but also if you know someone
who's not part of our community,
a woman who's a friend of yours,
maybe she's your best friend, maybe she's your cousin,
and you know, and she keeps coming to your mind
while you're hearing these men talk,
please send us an email and tell us about her.
Because remember what you help make happen for someone else,
what God can make happen for you, right?
And so it's not just about us,
it's also about, you know,
paving the way for other people to have connections.
And so that's super important.
All right, so last but not least, Matt,
and I love that Jonathan went there.
He's like, you know, I want to,
we want to explore all these areas of life of my wife,
including sexually.
Y'all, we all want to have sex.
I was just getting ready to say that.
It's not, it's all right.
You're allowed that, you're allowed.
So you guys see, men want more than one thing.
They named all kinds of other things,
but they still want sex and that's all right,
because they're supposed to, right?
Because ladies are always like, men just want sex.
No, they want all these other things too,
but they still want sex.
All right, Matt, go ahead.
Yeah, I'm glad Jonathan broke the ice with that,
because I was going to say it if he didn't.
So.
There you go, come on.
I'm with Jonathan at being with somebody
that you're equally yoked with.
The side of me that doesn't have to do
with being spiritual is like,
if anybody wants to homestead eventually
and have chickens and goats and stuff like that,
I'm going that route.
So my girls want to.
So that's a part of just kind of,
I used to garden with my parents
and they taught me how to do all that stuff.
So kind of like not being off the grid,
but having some self-sustaining stuff and being like that.
But then when it comes to my marriage,
it's just having someone that I can just love on.
My love languages are physical touch
and quality time.
So I love having that time.
I also am someone that likes to do the little small,
not grandiose gifts.
I mean, there's time and place for that,
but just the small things like bringing flowers
or bringing lunch or doing a special date at home
or doing something.
It's like little small stuff like that.
I just want to have someone that I can love on.
But at the same time, like Jonathan said,
I also want somebody that I can relate to both emotionally
and yes, physically.
I want somebody that I can have a lot of sex with.
I'm sorry.
It's like, I want somebody that I can connect so much with
that it's more than just that.
It's something that's just a part of what our marriage is.
It's just a natural part of it.
And sex shouldn't be a faux pas thing.
It should be something that God created it to glorify him
and to have those two meet as one.
But yeah, and then also someone that can be,
it's a big responsibility to take on being
that bonus parent, being that step-mom,
but somebody that unfortunately, not talking badly,
but their mother's not the best example
with some of her behavior now,
but just not someone that replaces her
because they love their mama,
but someone that can be yoked with their dad
that they can see truly loves them
and can set a really godly example
of what it means to be a woman who loves Jesus.
So they can see that exemplification of Christ.
So it's not a bad thing.
Yeah, good stuff.
Guys, sex is only an issue in,
it's only an issue, obviously,
when you take it outside of covenant.
It's not common, it's holy,
and you wanna make sure that you're participating in it
within a-
holy place, which is covenant.
God didn't, he didn't make that rule to kill your buzz.
He made that rule because he loves you
and wants to keep you safe.
And so sexual attraction is only a problem
if that's all there is.
Sexual attraction is only a problem
when you let your body lead
and you don't let your spirit lead and your soul lead.
Right, your body should be getting on board
with the attraction as well,
but it doesn't need to be the first thing that's on board.
It never needs to be the first thing that's on board.
When you have a visceral, physical attraction,
but there isn't anything else to sustain it,
it's just, it's not gonna be a good situation.
All right, it really isn't.
So we're gonna have some fun with some this and that.
Guys, this is how it works.
I just say two things like popcorn.
This is a popcorn round, okay?
This is a speed round, y'all, all right?
And all you're gonna do is just say one or the other.
And some of them you might not have a preference
for either one, but just pick one anyway.
Just humor us, all right?
Just humor us.
All right, okay, ready?
Popcorn round.
So we're gonna go ahead and just go clockwise
the entire time and keep going clockwise.
So it's Jonathan, Vinaya, David, and Matt.
And so, all right?
Okay, ready?
Starting with Jonathan, hunting or fishing?
Fishing.
Hunting.
Fishing.
Okay, fishing, all right.
Beach or woods?
Woods.
Depends on the time of year.
I mean, beach in the spring and summer
and woods in the fall and winter.
No, it's not fair.
Beach or woods, which do you like better?
The woods.
Okay.
All right, water or land?
Water.
Land.
Okay, all right, city or nature?
City.
Nature.
City.
Bookstore or museum?
Museum.
Bookstore.
Museum.
All right, cooking or baking?
Cooking.
Grilling.
Cooking.
All right, going out or staying in?
Going out.
Staying in.
Going out.
Sunset or sunrise?
Sunset.
This is kind of like going out and staying in,
but not quite.
So when it comes to movies,
do you prefer Netflix or cinema?
Cozy on the couch, Netflix.
Big O.
Yes.
Netflix.
Just got to say it.
Netflix.
Guys, there's no chill in this.
You guys, there's no Netflix and chill.
Just know it's just Netflix.
Just straight up.
All right, just making sure.
All right.
You took it there, not us.
Holding hands or hugs?
Oof.
That's tough.
Jonathan literally went.
That hurts to choose between those.
I don't want to.
Can you be more specific of the situation?
Holding hands or hugs?
Like what?
Hugs, I'll just say it.
Hugs.
Hug, hug, hug.
Hugs.
I'm a good hugger.
Okay, and then we'll take it,
we'll just take it up a notch.
Kisses or hugs?
Kisses.
Kisses, come on.
Kisses.
Jeez, that's easy.
I figured, but it's on the list.
So it's just like, whatever.
You know?
The chat is blowing up right now.
Coffee?
Coffee or ice cream?
Coffee.
Everyone chose coffee.
Okay, all right.
So surprises or no?
Do you like surprises?
Yes.
Sure.
Yes.
All right.
Okay, I think I already know the answer to this,
but dogs or cats?
Dogs.
All right.
I'll go with cats.
Okay.
All right, planes or road trips?
Road trips.
Planes.
You're not being specific.
It's the distance that matters.
No, I just do, if you're going to go on a trip,
do you want to?
fly you know do you want to you know do you prefer to go places you can only get to by plane or do
you like a road trip i mean i'd say road trip for now i mean yeah i can go either one so road trip
it's a solid choice planes planes i knew that david okay so guys how romantic are you what do
you think is the most romantic thing that you've ever done or would do like are you a love letter
writer are you old-fashioned do you open car doors we want to know it's valentine's tomorrow
we want to know are you the kind of guy that would just buy the regular flowers and chocolates or are
you the kind of guy that would leave rose petal trails all around the house with a post-it note
scavenger hunt like we want to know we want to know okay i'd say who's starting you can start
i wrote i've the most romantic thing i've ever done is like writing a song for someone
oh there we go same yeah but the the the rose petals the hidden notes around the house but
i like valentine's day but i don't because i try to i want to do that stuff regularly so i don't
like to i don't like to pinpoint towards oh it's just valentine's day so it's a pretty i get my
my daughter you have to stop i'm not going to be able to handle how many women are going to
write in about you it's going to be too much i'm sorry put your phone number in the chat man no
matt don't do it i mean i mean for me for me like i like dates i like to do to do dates where i i
like going out but i prefer to stay in so if it's like you know me doing setting up the living room
for watching a movie and then you know making making dinner or ordering dinner in and having
it ready when she gets there and say nope you're not doing anything just relax sometimes doing that
stuff and and because of the personal touch and i am a carpenter by trade so i give good
massage as well so that kind of stuff just like being a very we like a massage but what can you
build for us you just said you're a carpenter women like men to build things you're gonna build
us a chicken coop what are you gonna do chicken coops admins built-in wall section there we go
farmhouse tables things like that what are you going to do
organize your closet organize your closet jonathan and david you better jump in here
what's some romanticism but so ben and i said that benaiah said that he um wrote a song but
what else what else is in your heart that you would like to do romantically do you have anything
else you want to share yes i i love to sing and play my guitar so writing a song is easy
um i like sitting by the campfire doing that um i like the horse and buggy deal when it's
cold out maybe a little drizzly and we put blankets over us um i like the uh i like the
rom-coms even the corny ones um i like cooking together what are we waiting on hold on y'all
we got somebody he's waiting on something because they're not muted
who's not muted we know all your personal business all right and my hope is my hope is
that my woman will share with me what speaks to her heart and we can make that happen too
absolutely yeah yeah yeah but you guys i will tell you women do like to kind of show you like
what they like but they also like to be surprised they do no pressure all right so david what do you
got oh boy these guys keep on saying solid things so yeah uh i i i like to i do like to write you
know i do like to write so writing notes running uh kind of my heart is uh something that's that
you know i enjoy doing um i i have picked up the guitar so i'm like budding in that area
and um i tell people that i'm like a dangerous karaoke singer because i like my voice but you
know we've all seen that contestant on american idol who likes their voice it could be good like
dedicate a song on karaoke to her and like put her name in it like sarah smile off sarah smile
by like holla notes you could like sing their name instead that's like carla smile like you
could do that that'd be great what else you got that's right so um i think i like to keep things
fun uh i i can i can i think uh get to a sensitive place um uh with somebody but i i've got this
strong streak of trying to keep things real and not not like not to like hallmark my life
uh but you know i i i can go there i i can i can get there i can get there with the right person
okay yeah no and you know what that's okay um you know not all women are super romantic either
like as far as you know they they they're more
practical minded, like romance is great.
But like Matt said, it's not about just one day of the year.
It's about really showing someone that you love them
and you care about them, that you honor them.
My husband's an access service guy.
And so like keeping my gas tank filled up,
I hate pumping gas.
You know, that's just such a sweet, kind thing, right?
And, you know, thinking of me, bringing me things,
being thought of you guys is really important,
like on an everyday basis.
And then of course there's the big birthdays and holidays
and Valentine's day and different things.
But those everyday love, like love, you know,
things are the most important things
in a relationship for sure.
All right, so what we're gonna do now is if you,
I don't think I'm gonna do that actually.
So we're about out of time.
So this is really fun tonight.
You guys, we're gonna do more of it.
I think I'm gonna have some more of those curated
Post-it Notes events as well,
where we kind of put people in groups, smaller groups,
where they can get to know each other better
based on things that they have in common.
Guys, when it comes to matchmaking,
let me just tell you a few things real quick.
You can't ever predict chemistry.
You know, obviously there's a supernatural element
to the kind of matchmaking that I do.
So if God highlights someone to me
and highlights someone that they should meet,
then I just go ahead and do it,
regardless of whether it makes sense.
A lot of times it doesn't make sense on paper.
And I might be like, ah, you know,
because you can take some, you know,
a list of attributes about someone,
their age and where they live and all their hobbies
and things, and you can try to match it that way.
But oftentimes God's matches don't look like that.
They look like something that's unseen,
that only God can see.
And then he's putting those people together.
And then the chemistry that happens as a result of that
is a God kind of chemistry.
You know, my husband and I were next door neighbors.
God put us in proximity.
We didn't really have a lot in common,
but he put us in proximity.
And, you know, and then there was a lot of chemistry there,
supernaturally, and a lot of camaraderie and, you know,
friendship and just enjoying each other's personalities
and enjoying each other.
And so that is something you guys need to know
about matchmaking.
So just because these guys expressed things
that you're like, hey, that's true of me too.
I lost my parents.
Benaiah, you never told us
if your parents passed away or not.
No, well, no, they're still here.
Praise God.
Yeah, and actually my mom had another surgery today
and I think it went pretty well.
So yeah, I appreciate you asking.
Yeah, yeah.
So yeah, as someone who's lost their mother
to cancer specifically.
So yeah, so praise God for that.
And we just declare that your mom will continue to heal
and that your parents will continue to live long lives
and glorify the Lord and get to see you married
and have children and all the fun things.
And so just because you have something in common
with these gentlemen doesn't necessarily make you a match.
And so I want you to leave this place
and I want you to pray about whether or not
you should kind of put your hat in the ring
to meet one of these guys.
Remember, we have no scarcity in here
and also pray about whether or not
you should introduce them to someone else
that you know that may be here tonight.
Maybe it's someone in our group that's not here
or maybe it's just someone that you know in your life
that while they were talking, you realized that,
hey, I keep thinking about this person a lot
and maybe that means that I should really
try to make an introduction here.
Because you guys, community-based matchmaking
is what we're all about here
and we're seeing lots of it happening
and I believe that God wants to do a lot of it in 2024.
And so it's about us not just being about ourselves
but also being about what is God speaking and saying to us
and how can we participate in helping God make matches.
All right, all right.
So we had so much fun tonight.
We wanted to thank you guys.
Jonathan, Mania, Matt, David, thanks for coming.
All the other guys that are on here.
Scott's new to our community.
Scott, we're so glad that you're here with us.
We'll have you spotlighted the next time.
The ladies that are a little bit older,
you guys are in that upper Gen X
to the baby boomer generation.
You're like, hey, where are the guys our age?
Next time, we'll have four guys in that age range.
All of these guys are in their 40s and 30s
but we'll go ahead and have all the guys next time
be in their early 50s and up.
For all of you ladies that are like,
hey, Jackie, I'm not a cougar.
I wanna come in here but that's not what I'm trying to do.
All right, so we will definitely have that next time.
So if you want to learn more about any of these guys,
any of them, don't go try to troll them
and find them on Facebook
unless you're already connected to them.
Several of them are in single nation.
I know that Benaiah is in single nation millennials.
Jonathan's in single nation.
David, I don't know if you are in that group or not.
Matt, I don't think that maybe you're there yet.
I'm on no social media at all.
Oh, that's right.
Okay.
No social media.
So you have to come to us to find that.
All right.
And so, and listen, if we tell you when you come to us, Hey, you know, I don't
think that's going to be a match, then you're not going to get offended by it.
All right.
But once again, we don't do it by what's on paper.
We do it by, you know, what God is saying.
And then based on the profiles, the guys have given us, um, for
what it is that they want to meet.
And ladies, um, we will have a panel of you as well.
So men can come and hear you guys talk and, and see what you guys, um, have
to say about all this stuff as well.
So if you guys had fun, yeah.
Thank you for creating safety.
Love you.
Yes.
You're welcome.
All right.
So I hope you guys had fun tonight and we'll go ahead and bless you
and we'll see you soon.
Bye everyone.