WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.160 All right, we're back. It kicked me off, but now I'm back. Hello. Hello. 2 00:00:05.160 --> 00:00:09.240 All right. That is not my Christmas tree that's still up. 3 00:00:09.240 --> 00:00:14.240 So don't pay attention to it because that's not what it is. 4 00:00:14.240 --> 00:00:18.360 And once again, if you can get on camera, get on camera tonight. 5 00:00:18.360 --> 00:00:21.880 We're going to get over the fear of being seen tonight. 6 00:00:21.880 --> 00:00:23.800 That is what tonight is all about. 7 00:00:23.800 --> 00:00:28.160 And so you have to be able to be willing to just show up however you are. 8 00:00:28.200 --> 00:00:33.280 I purposely just showed up with no eyelashes, you know, wet hair. 9 00:00:33.440 --> 00:00:34.960 My hair is wet right now. 10 00:00:34.960 --> 00:00:37.040 I don't know if you can tell, but it's wet. 11 00:00:38.680 --> 00:00:39.760 And so let's get on camera. 12 00:00:39.760 --> 00:00:40.800 This is a session. 13 00:00:40.800 --> 00:00:42.160 So, guys, that includes you. 14 00:00:42.160 --> 00:00:43.440 If there are any men on here, 15 00:00:46.520 --> 00:00:49.080 then get on here as well. 16 00:00:49.480 --> 00:00:50.720 And let's see your face. 17 00:00:50.720 --> 00:00:52.840 Now, if you're at work or you're someplace where you're, 18 00:00:53.200 --> 00:00:56.920 you know, secretly listening in, you're not allowed to be listening in. 19 00:00:56.920 --> 00:00:57.400 But you are. 20 00:00:57.400 --> 00:01:00.600 I got like one little earbud in and you're, you know, 21 00:01:00.600 --> 00:01:03.280 paying attention to your patient that is on life support. 22 00:01:03.680 --> 00:01:06.760 Please get off here and go pay attention to your patient instead. 23 00:01:08.280 --> 00:01:11.400 But just kidding, but not not kidding. 24 00:01:11.640 --> 00:01:15.480 So, yeah, you guys know. 25 00:01:15.600 --> 00:01:15.920 All right. 26 00:01:15.920 --> 00:01:17.560 Look at all these beautiful faces. 27 00:01:18.160 --> 00:01:19.520 Hello. Hello. 28 00:01:21.880 --> 00:01:22.360 All right. 29 00:01:22.360 --> 00:01:28.160 So, you guys, so many cool things are happening in 2024 for this community. 30 00:01:28.520 --> 00:01:33.840 So glad that you guys are with us for some of the the upgrades 31 00:01:33.840 --> 00:01:35.680 that we're headed towards. 32 00:01:35.680 --> 00:01:38.960 I know a lot of you have just really, really wanted us 33 00:01:38.960 --> 00:01:42.760 to have some kind of dating out. 34 00:01:44.040 --> 00:01:49.120 And we are so here in the next couple of months, 35 00:01:49.120 --> 00:01:53.920 we will have a community based matchmaking mechanism in which to, 36 00:01:54.360 --> 00:01:57.480 you know, think of it as your Airbnb review. 37 00:01:57.520 --> 00:02:00.720 If you don't like someplace that you stayed, you can let us know. 38 00:02:05.760 --> 00:02:09.240 So lots of really cool changes in person stuff as well. 39 00:02:09.240 --> 00:02:11.400 You guys, the past obviously have changed, too. 40 00:02:11.640 --> 00:02:14.640 If you feel like you really need to work on yourself 41 00:02:14.640 --> 00:02:17.800 and maybe it's just for one week, you just really had a hard week 42 00:02:17.800 --> 00:02:20.360 and you're not interested in hearing about how to date better. 43 00:02:21.320 --> 00:02:24.440 You're not interested in hearing about how to make your relationship better, 44 00:02:24.440 --> 00:02:25.680 even if you're talking to someone 45 00:02:25.680 --> 00:02:28.120 and you just want to show up to path one, just do some hard work. 46 00:02:29.400 --> 00:02:31.480 That's where you need to show up that week. 47 00:02:31.480 --> 00:02:34.240 We only have it by by monthly twice a month. 48 00:02:34.240 --> 00:02:36.640 We'll have pads show up to path one. 49 00:02:37.880 --> 00:02:41.120 OK, path two is always going to be about, 50 00:02:41.440 --> 00:02:45.360 you know, how to put yourself out there better, how to, you know, 51 00:02:45.400 --> 00:02:50.120 tweak what it is that you're doing in your dating life, how to date better, 52 00:02:50.120 --> 00:02:53.880 how to how to make this your dating for mating season. 53 00:02:54.160 --> 00:02:58.040 And then path three will always be empowerment for relationships. 54 00:02:58.040 --> 00:03:01.880 So whether you're just beginning a level two relationship 55 00:03:01.880 --> 00:03:03.320 and you really think it's going to go somewhere 56 00:03:03.320 --> 00:03:06.800 and you want to show up and get those skills or you're in a exclusive path, 57 00:03:07.200 --> 00:03:10.480 exclusive level three relationship or you're already engaged, 58 00:03:10.480 --> 00:03:13.240 whatever path three will always be there for you. 59 00:03:13.240 --> 00:03:15.240 And sometimes it's going to be an all path session. 60 00:03:15.720 --> 00:03:19.120 The second path session for January is going to be all about 61 00:03:19.120 --> 00:03:21.600 overcoming relationship anxiety. 62 00:03:22.120 --> 00:03:24.960 I've heard way too many stories of people really being worried 63 00:03:24.960 --> 00:03:27.760 that they're going to pick the wrong one or that God says no. 64 00:03:27.760 --> 00:03:31.040 And they're reading the signs wrong and they're freaking themselves out. 65 00:03:31.040 --> 00:03:34.760 And they're becoming avoidant, attached, meaning that they're getting picky 66 00:03:34.760 --> 00:03:36.520 and critical and paranoid. 67 00:03:36.520 --> 00:03:40.960 And we're going to unpack where that's coming from all together as a community, 68 00:03:40.960 --> 00:03:44.280 all three paths together for the next session this month. OK. 69 00:03:45.240 --> 00:03:47.880 All right. So that's a little housekeeping at the beginning here. 70 00:03:47.880 --> 00:03:53.120 Also for your community night, which is one 16, January 16th, 71 00:03:53.120 --> 00:03:55.600 which I know because that's my birthday. 72 00:03:55.600 --> 00:03:59.040 And you guys are going to be doing a great heart rehab session 73 00:03:59.040 --> 00:04:05.360 if you've never done our 12 step heart work based recovery model session. 74 00:04:05.360 --> 00:04:08.440 It's super fun. It's all about breakout sessions. 75 00:04:08.440 --> 00:04:13.400 It's all about talking and having people listen and in small group. 76 00:04:13.440 --> 00:04:15.080 And so you're going to want to come to that. 77 00:04:15.080 --> 00:04:17.560 And then, of course, we have a single spotlight at the end of the month. 78 00:04:17.560 --> 00:04:21.880 And that is going to be a really a good time 79 00:04:21.880 --> 00:04:23.920 of getting to meet some of our singles. 80 00:04:23.920 --> 00:04:27.640 And maybe that is going to be someone that, you know, you want to mingle with. 81 00:04:28.200 --> 00:04:31.000 Guys, we've had lots of people get married off of our he said, 82 00:04:31.000 --> 00:04:32.480 she says, and single spotlights. 83 00:04:32.480 --> 00:04:36.600 In fact, I heard from one of our success couples from single spotlight. 84 00:04:36.600 --> 00:04:39.960 And he said, she said today, everyone remember Ralph and Diana? 85 00:04:40.320 --> 00:04:41.400 They're doing well. 86 00:04:41.440 --> 00:04:45.640 I heard from them today and they're doing good and so exciting times. 87 00:04:47.400 --> 00:04:49.840 All right, let's talk about the grace being on your face. 88 00:04:51.000 --> 00:04:52.720 Let's talk about that. 89 00:04:52.720 --> 00:04:55.320 So let me take a look. I'm going to swipe. 90 00:04:55.320 --> 00:04:59.480 Pretty much everyone is on their camera is on. 91 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:08.000 And I really want to encourage you guys that this is the time where you have to come out of hiding. 92 00:05:08.000 --> 00:05:11.000 You got to come out of hiding. 93 00:05:11.000 --> 00:05:19.000 Now I know that we don't always look our best and we don't always feel our best and we don't always feel like you know we have something to offer. 94 00:05:19.000 --> 00:05:39.000 As far as the outside of us, or the inside of us that's shining on the outside of us, but we have to remember that God has highlighted us and spotlighted us in this season and he can't spotlight you if you're hiding out under your bed somewhere. 95 00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:44.000 And so the first thing that I want to say is it's called Facebook. 96 00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:50.000 Guys, it's called Facebook. And yeah, I know we hate it. 97 00:05:50.000 --> 00:06:00.000 I know we hate Facebook. We hate social media just in general, you know, I mean you guys if I didn't have to ever get on social media ever again I never would. 98 00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:09.000 I feel like the world was so much better without it. And yet, here we are, because of social media so it's a, it's a love hate thing, isn't it. 99 00:06:09.000 --> 00:06:12.000 But it is called Facebook. 100 00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:19.000 And I understand if you're in the witness protection program why your avatar is a cat on Facebook, I get it. 101 00:06:19.000 --> 00:06:29.000 And I give you a pass if you're hiding out under a fake name and you know the avatar of two monkeys dancing. I get it. 102 00:06:29.000 --> 00:06:40.000 But everybody else you should have your beautiful face as your avatar on Facebook, because that's why it's called that. 103 00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:47.000 It started out kind of like a dating app right Facebook, just in general for the college students. That's what it started out as. 104 00:06:47.000 --> 00:06:50.000 Yeah, right, that adds up. 105 00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:52.000 That makes sense. 106 00:06:52.000 --> 00:06:58.000 But we need to get our faces out there. We cannot be afraid to have our faces out there. 107 00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:14.000 And you guys not some over altered and over filtered face. 108 00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:28.000 I gotta be honest with you, I gotta tell you something. So I had this big photo shoot for my book, my book came out two years ago, and you know, and professional photos, especially if they're editorial like that, they're very photoshopped. 109 00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:38.000 And so I had those photos and I was like wow you know like it's like glamour shots remember glamour shots back in the day and then so I had these photos of myself. 110 00:07:38.000 --> 00:07:41.000 And so, you know, I've gained a lot of weight. 111 00:07:41.000 --> 00:07:55.000 So my face is a lot fuller than it normally would be and you guys, I think we should normal, I think we should normalize just saying I don't feel like coming today because I have the perimenopause, and nothing fits, and I'm unhappy. 112 00:07:55.000 --> 00:08:02.000 And I hate the way I look, and so I'm not coming I'm not showing up today, we need to normalize that because that's a real thing. 113 00:08:03.000 --> 00:08:22.000 I just started feeling like bad you know and then every picture you guys. Bottom line is this, I catfished myself. I catfished my own self. Why and how I saw very very photoshopped pictures of myself and then when I saw real pictures of myself I was like, 114 00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:35.000 I was super scared and I didn't understand. I was like, oh my god, it's like you forget what you really look like when you use those filters too much. If you use them too much, you will see a real picture of yourself. 115 00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:50.000 You will friends that someone else tags you in that they took when you weren't looking at some party or some event somewhere, and you will be scared, because you're so used to seeing these over altered versions of you. 116 00:08:50.000 --> 00:08:56.000 Now, I'm not opposed to every bar and getting a new coat of paint. 117 00:08:56.000 --> 00:08:59.000 Right, for sure. 118 00:08:59.000 --> 00:09:13.000 But please be careful. I know that everyone is armed with those little filter apps on your phone, please be careful with how much you filter those because, first of all, men are clueless. 119 00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:22.000 Every woman that sees that picture is going to know you filtered it. They're going to be like, oh, that's a cute picture. They're going to know in their mind that it's a filter, but they're still going to be like, girl, you look cute. 120 00:09:22.000 --> 00:09:26.000 The guys are going to think you really look like that. 121 00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:32.000 They're not going to look at it and say, oh, that's a filter. I mean, unless it obviously is a crazy filter. 122 00:09:32.000 --> 00:09:34.000 They're not. 123 00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:41.000 And I see we have a few gentlemen on here finally. Okay, good, because I'm going to talk to y'all as well. 124 00:09:41.000 --> 00:09:44.000 Don't, don't take pictures. 125 00:09:44.000 --> 00:09:48.000 Just look the way that you look. 126 00:09:48.000 --> 00:09:55.000 But that being said, I'm going to talk to you about how you can put your best face forward, who's ready to talk about that. 127 00:09:55.000 --> 00:10:00.000 You want some tips about putting your best face forward. So we live in this digital world. 128 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:01.720 where a lot of you are gonna meet people 129 00:10:01.720 --> 00:10:03.480 that have never met you in person 130 00:10:03.480 --> 00:10:05.280 before they've seen you online. 131 00:10:05.280 --> 00:10:08.700 Even here on Zoom, they've seen you online. 132 00:10:09.600 --> 00:10:12.840 They've seen you in some picture on a dating app. 133 00:10:12.840 --> 00:10:15.020 They've seen you in a picture on Facebook. 134 00:10:15.020 --> 00:10:18.600 Maybe they've seen you like on the portion 135 00:10:18.600 --> 00:10:22.040 of our community that we're gonna begin to have out there 136 00:10:22.040 --> 00:10:25.480 here in the next hopefully six to eight weeks. 137 00:10:25.480 --> 00:10:27.560 But they've never seen you in real life. 138 00:10:27.560 --> 00:10:29.400 You guys, we look different in real life than we do. 139 00:10:29.480 --> 00:10:34.040 Even on Zoom, you're taller, maybe you're shorter, 140 00:10:34.040 --> 00:10:38.760 maybe you're a little curvier than you look on the camera 141 00:10:38.760 --> 00:10:40.400 or on the picture. 142 00:10:40.400 --> 00:10:44.400 And so when you are specifically putting out pictures 143 00:10:44.400 --> 00:10:46.700 for the purpose of dating, 144 00:10:46.700 --> 00:10:48.900 you have to have a wide variety of pictures. 145 00:10:51.240 --> 00:10:54.920 That person might as well know what you look like, right? 146 00:10:54.920 --> 00:10:59.680 It doesn't make any sense for you to false advertise. 147 00:10:59.680 --> 00:11:01.200 And that's what I wanna say to you, 148 00:11:01.200 --> 00:11:03.080 is that it is an advertisement. 149 00:11:03.080 --> 00:11:05.360 Go ahead and write that down, it's an advertisement. 150 00:11:05.360 --> 00:11:06.960 For those of you, and you guys, 151 00:11:06.960 --> 00:11:09.760 70% of Christians are still meeting online. 152 00:11:09.760 --> 00:11:12.240 I know that we hate to hear that, we don't wanna hear that. 153 00:11:12.240 --> 00:11:14.560 70% of Christian couples that are getting married, 154 00:11:14.560 --> 00:11:18.480 even in our communities, are still meeting online. 155 00:11:18.480 --> 00:11:21.240 Remember, the kind of work that we do here is supernatural 156 00:11:21.240 --> 00:11:23.140 so that you can receive love and let it in 157 00:11:23.140 --> 00:11:24.180 when it shows up. 158 00:11:25.120 --> 00:11:27.680 But the way people are meeting is still very digital. 159 00:11:27.680 --> 00:11:29.100 We live in that digital world. 160 00:11:29.100 --> 00:11:31.320 And of course, we're gonna try to bring that old-fashioned 161 00:11:31.320 --> 00:11:33.260 back to community-based matchmaking. 162 00:11:33.260 --> 00:11:36.360 That's what we're working on right now with our own app. 163 00:11:36.360 --> 00:11:37.760 It's not gonna be like a regular app, y'all. 164 00:11:37.760 --> 00:11:40.960 It's all gonna be about community-based matchmaking. 165 00:11:40.960 --> 00:11:41.960 All right? 166 00:11:41.960 --> 00:11:45.060 But in the meantime, what you put out there, 167 00:11:45.060 --> 00:11:48.040 whether it's your Facebook page, your LinkedIn page, 168 00:11:48.040 --> 00:11:51.280 yeah, people are looking at LinkedIn for matches 169 00:11:51.280 --> 00:11:54.120 and for potential dates as well. 170 00:11:54.120 --> 00:11:55.640 Whether it's a dating app that you're on, 171 00:11:55.640 --> 00:11:58.600 whether it's paid or a free dating app that you're on, 172 00:11:58.600 --> 00:12:02.720 people, you're advertising to people. 173 00:12:02.720 --> 00:12:03.760 It's an advertisement. 174 00:12:03.760 --> 00:12:06.260 Some of you are really good at advertising yourself, 175 00:12:06.260 --> 00:12:07.640 you're really good at promoting yourself, 176 00:12:07.640 --> 00:12:09.360 you're really good at selling yourself, 177 00:12:09.360 --> 00:12:10.520 and some of you aren't. 178 00:12:10.520 --> 00:12:12.880 And this session is for those of you that aren't. 179 00:12:14.160 --> 00:12:18.960 You're not good at finding out what really makes you special, 180 00:12:18.960 --> 00:12:23.000 what is your unique selling position of yourself. 181 00:12:23.880 --> 00:12:26.400 Okay, so this is gonna be really, really good for you. 182 00:12:26.400 --> 00:12:27.800 Okay, all right. 183 00:12:27.800 --> 00:12:32.360 So let's talk about those bios first. 184 00:12:32.360 --> 00:12:34.680 You guys, and I'm talking about also, 185 00:12:34.680 --> 00:12:37.680 do you know that there's an About You page on your Facebook? 186 00:12:39.440 --> 00:12:42.160 So say someone sees you through one of my posts 187 00:12:42.160 --> 00:12:44.120 or through our community in some way, 188 00:12:44.120 --> 00:12:45.440 and they go to your Facebook 189 00:12:45.440 --> 00:12:46.800 and they're not friends with you, 190 00:12:46.800 --> 00:12:48.640 but they look at your About page. 191 00:12:48.640 --> 00:12:51.200 Guys, make that About page public. 192 00:12:51.200 --> 00:12:53.120 And then write a nice little bio there. 193 00:12:53.120 --> 00:12:55.600 Go ahead and use it as a dating app. 194 00:12:55.600 --> 00:12:58.760 Even, okay, Facebook does have a dating app attached to it, 195 00:12:58.760 --> 00:13:01.760 but I'm just talking about your regular Facebook page, 196 00:13:01.760 --> 00:13:06.000 your regular little blurb about you on Instagram. 197 00:13:07.400 --> 00:13:11.400 It doesn't have to be long, in fact, keep it simple. 198 00:13:11.400 --> 00:13:12.440 Keep it simple. 199 00:13:15.560 --> 00:13:17.040 Keep it simple, keep it short. 200 00:13:17.040 --> 00:13:18.840 Don't write a thesis about yourself 201 00:13:18.840 --> 00:13:20.440 on your Facebook About page. 202 00:13:21.600 --> 00:13:23.480 And this is where we go wrong with the dating apps too. 203 00:13:23.480 --> 00:13:25.200 You guys, keep it simple. 204 00:13:25.200 --> 00:13:26.880 Keep it interesting and simple 205 00:13:26.880 --> 00:13:30.840 so that somebody wants to know more about you, right? 206 00:13:30.840 --> 00:13:34.120 I've been looking through some people's thereabouts 207 00:13:34.120 --> 00:13:37.600 on their dating apps, like their little blurb, their bio, 208 00:13:37.600 --> 00:13:40.440 and it has way too much personal information 209 00:13:40.440 --> 00:13:42.800 that right away, that person's gonna make 210 00:13:42.800 --> 00:13:45.160 a pretty quick judgment about whether or not 211 00:13:45.160 --> 00:13:46.280 they wanna talk to you 212 00:13:46.280 --> 00:13:48.440 instead of just keeping it interesting. 213 00:13:48.440 --> 00:13:49.640 Guys, don't be too quirky. 214 00:13:49.640 --> 00:13:51.440 Even if you're super funny, 215 00:13:51.440 --> 00:13:52.960 be a little funny in the bio, 216 00:13:52.960 --> 00:13:54.440 but let them see the funniness 217 00:13:54.440 --> 00:13:57.440 when they actually begin a conversation with you. 218 00:13:57.440 --> 00:13:59.720 Because otherwise, if they're just scrolling past, 219 00:13:59.720 --> 00:14:01.920 it could come across a little weird, 220 00:14:01.920 --> 00:14:06.720 like you're a little weird, right? 221 00:14:10.120 --> 00:14:11.600 So don't be too quirky or too funny 222 00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:15.280 because that can get lost in translation, right? 223 00:14:15.280 --> 00:14:16.120 It's sales. 224 00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:17.200 We want to sell. 225 00:14:17.200 --> 00:14:19.320 We're selling ourselves. 226 00:14:19.320 --> 00:14:21.360 Think of some really fun things. 227 00:14:21.360 --> 00:14:22.960 And you guys, a lot of people don't know 228 00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:24.160 what's really great about them, 229 00:14:24.160 --> 00:14:26.600 and so have a good friend write it instead of you. 230 00:14:28.160 --> 00:14:30.160 Just have someone else write your blurb. 231 00:14:31.440 --> 00:14:32.520 Someone that loves you knows 232 00:14:32.520 --> 00:14:35.200 what makes you really cool and special. 233 00:14:35.200 --> 00:14:36.520 Someone else that you know 234 00:14:36.520 --> 00:14:38.800 knows why other people should get to know you. 235 00:14:40.080 --> 00:14:41.760 And keep that in mind when you're writing that. 236 00:14:41.760 --> 00:14:44.520 Why should anyone wanna get to know me? 237 00:14:44.520 --> 00:14:46.840 What's really great about me, okay? 238 00:14:47.880 --> 00:14:49.400 It's a humble brag. 239 00:14:49.400 --> 00:14:50.240 It's all right. 240 00:14:50.240 --> 00:14:51.080 You're allowed to do it. 241 00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:53.320 All right. 242 00:14:54.280 --> 00:14:56.080 All right, so then let's talk about those pictures 243 00:14:56.080 --> 00:14:58.920 because this is about grace being on your face. 244 00:14:58.920 --> 00:15:00.120 A lot of you, I just... 245 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:01.320 I love you, but I'm just going to tell you, 246 00:15:01.320 --> 00:15:02.440 you have terrible pictures. 247 00:15:02.440 --> 00:15:04.120 Your pictures are terrible. 248 00:15:04.120 --> 00:15:05.960 And it's a problem. 249 00:15:07.160 --> 00:15:09.080 It's a problem because people, 250 00:15:09.080 --> 00:15:10.600 and I know that you don't want to believe this, 251 00:15:10.600 --> 00:15:12.680 but people are going to judge you by your photo. 252 00:15:12.680 --> 00:15:14.000 So just get over it. 253 00:15:14.000 --> 00:15:15.320 They're going to judge you. 254 00:15:16.680 --> 00:15:18.520 They're going to judge you by your photos. 255 00:15:18.520 --> 00:15:20.240 Gentlemen, this goes for you as well. 256 00:15:20.240 --> 00:15:21.840 In fact, you guys are some of the worst. 257 00:15:21.840 --> 00:15:22.960 This is your picture. 258 00:15:22.960 --> 00:15:24.200 What is this? 259 00:15:24.200 --> 00:15:25.360 What are we doing? 260 00:15:25.360 --> 00:15:26.480 Huh? 261 00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:27.880 What are we doing here? 262 00:15:27.920 --> 00:15:30.080 All the men over 40, this is their picture. 263 00:15:31.320 --> 00:15:33.040 Or they're looking mean, 264 00:15:33.040 --> 00:15:36.360 or they got like this going on. 265 00:15:36.360 --> 00:15:38.240 I got to make it, y'all. 266 00:15:38.240 --> 00:15:39.080 I got to make it. 267 00:15:41.480 --> 00:15:45.720 My little tire is not up here, it's down here. 268 00:15:45.720 --> 00:15:48.000 Okay, but some of y'all got a little tire up here. 269 00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:48.840 And that, you know, 270 00:15:48.840 --> 00:15:51.200 haven't you seen my big fat Greek wedding? 271 00:15:51.200 --> 00:15:53.920 You got to put your chin down. 272 00:15:56.680 --> 00:15:57.600 Put it down. 273 00:15:58.840 --> 00:16:01.280 When I, and you guys, when I am a good friend, 274 00:16:01.280 --> 00:16:03.200 when I'm taking other people's pictures, 275 00:16:03.200 --> 00:16:05.080 single, married, doesn't matter who they are. 276 00:16:05.080 --> 00:16:06.480 When I'm taking their picture, 277 00:16:06.480 --> 00:16:08.760 I will tell them what they're doing wrong. 278 00:16:08.760 --> 00:16:10.520 I'm like, take a picture of me. 279 00:16:10.520 --> 00:16:11.480 Take a picture of us. 280 00:16:11.480 --> 00:16:12.800 Look at how cute we look, you know, 281 00:16:12.800 --> 00:16:15.600 in front of the, you know, fountain or whatever. 282 00:16:15.600 --> 00:16:16.880 And I'm taking the picture and I'm like, 283 00:16:16.880 --> 00:16:19.360 uh-uh, move your leg, put your arm out, 284 00:16:19.360 --> 00:16:20.720 put your chin down. 285 00:16:20.720 --> 00:16:21.960 You're not going to like this picture. 286 00:16:21.960 --> 00:16:23.760 Move your body, stand to the side. 287 00:16:23.760 --> 00:16:25.080 I tell them, 288 00:16:25.080 --> 00:16:26.440 because I know they're not going to like 289 00:16:26.440 --> 00:16:28.440 the outcome of the picture 290 00:16:28.440 --> 00:16:30.160 unless they get some direction. 291 00:16:30.160 --> 00:16:31.920 Get a friend like me. 292 00:16:31.920 --> 00:16:33.320 Do you have a friend like me 293 00:16:33.320 --> 00:16:35.680 that's going to tell you the truth about your picture? 294 00:16:35.680 --> 00:16:37.680 Because if not, you really need one. 295 00:16:37.680 --> 00:16:39.880 And I'd be happy to be that friend. 296 00:16:39.880 --> 00:16:40.720 All right. 297 00:16:40.720 --> 00:16:42.640 In all of our groups after this session, 298 00:16:42.640 --> 00:16:46.200 if you want to post your pictures in the group and say, 299 00:16:46.200 --> 00:16:49.160 hey, to all of your sisters and gentlemen, 300 00:16:49.160 --> 00:16:50.880 all of your brothers, including me, 301 00:16:50.880 --> 00:16:52.160 that's in there with y'all, 302 00:16:52.160 --> 00:16:54.160 and say, hey, what about this picture? 303 00:16:55.160 --> 00:16:56.680 What do you guys think of these pictures? 304 00:16:56.680 --> 00:16:58.040 We will tell you the truth. 305 00:16:59.680 --> 00:17:01.680 We will tell you that that color washes you out. 306 00:17:01.680 --> 00:17:02.520 It doesn't look good on you. 307 00:17:02.520 --> 00:17:03.360 It's doing nothing for you. 308 00:17:03.360 --> 00:17:05.720 You look like the Crypt Keeper in this color. 309 00:17:05.720 --> 00:17:06.560 And by the way, 310 00:17:06.560 --> 00:17:08.359 we are going to have a color specialist come on 311 00:17:08.359 --> 00:17:10.400 as one of our bonus sessions 312 00:17:10.400 --> 00:17:12.760 and help us make sure that we don't look all pallid 313 00:17:12.760 --> 00:17:14.599 in our pictures all the time. 314 00:17:14.599 --> 00:17:16.520 Like this gray right here, that's not my color, 315 00:17:16.520 --> 00:17:20.440 but my daughter bought me this sweatshirt from Bethel, 316 00:17:20.440 --> 00:17:23.400 says forever I will sing of the goodness of God. 317 00:17:23.400 --> 00:17:26.400 So I'm wearing it and it's comfy and I'm at home 318 00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:28.600 and I'm basically in my pajamas, so I don't care. 319 00:17:28.600 --> 00:17:33.600 So choose photos that flatter you and get a second opinion, 320 00:17:34.640 --> 00:17:37.440 get feedback from other people. 321 00:17:37.440 --> 00:17:39.400 Don't just slap stuff up on a dating site 322 00:17:39.400 --> 00:17:40.640 or slap it up on your Facebook. 323 00:17:40.640 --> 00:17:42.560 And you guys, I just gotta be honest with you. 324 00:17:42.560 --> 00:17:44.080 When I match some of y'all, 325 00:17:44.080 --> 00:17:44.920 cause you guys, you know, 326 00:17:44.920 --> 00:17:46.200 I'm always listening to the Lord. 327 00:17:46.200 --> 00:17:49.840 And if he tells me to match someone, you know, 328 00:17:49.840 --> 00:17:52.360 there's matchmakers that charge 20 to $50,000 329 00:17:52.360 --> 00:17:53.760 to make matches, I don't do that. 330 00:17:53.760 --> 00:17:54.600 I just do it. 331 00:17:54.600 --> 00:17:57.240 I just show up and I just with the Holy Spirit 332 00:17:57.240 --> 00:18:00.360 and just introduce people to people, you know? 333 00:18:00.360 --> 00:18:01.920 And hopefully one day that will be you 334 00:18:01.920 --> 00:18:03.040 that God highlights to me, 335 00:18:03.040 --> 00:18:04.720 but it doesn't have to come through me. 336 00:18:04.720 --> 00:18:07.080 Cause remember there's grace on your face 337 00:18:07.080 --> 00:18:09.480 and you're highlighted in the season and it's your time 338 00:18:09.480 --> 00:18:12.440 and you are in a supernatural movement of singles. 339 00:18:12.440 --> 00:18:16.440 All right, so it doesn't matter if it's Jackie or not. 340 00:18:16.440 --> 00:18:19.160 But I scroll through your pictures 341 00:18:19.160 --> 00:18:21.120 trying to find a picture to show somebody 342 00:18:21.120 --> 00:18:23.360 that I want to tell about you. 343 00:18:23.360 --> 00:18:25.760 And I can't find any good ones. 344 00:18:25.760 --> 00:18:27.600 They're all bad. 345 00:18:27.600 --> 00:18:29.400 And you have them on your Facebook. 346 00:18:31.600 --> 00:18:33.440 Take them off. 347 00:18:33.440 --> 00:18:35.240 Some of you guys, you don't know it 348 00:18:35.240 --> 00:18:37.440 because you don't obviously know how Facebook works 349 00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:38.280 and I love you. 350 00:18:38.280 --> 00:18:39.680 And that's why I'm telling you this. 351 00:18:39.680 --> 00:18:41.160 You have pictures. 352 00:18:41.160 --> 00:18:43.120 If I scroll deep enough in your pictures, 353 00:18:43.120 --> 00:18:45.840 I find pictures of you and your husbands. 354 00:18:45.840 --> 00:18:49.360 Gentlemen, I find you pictures with your former wives. 355 00:18:49.360 --> 00:18:51.840 It looks like you're still married. 356 00:18:51.840 --> 00:18:53.320 People can find those pictures. 357 00:18:53.320 --> 00:18:55.040 You gotta delete them. 358 00:18:55.040 --> 00:18:56.400 Take them down. 359 00:18:56.400 --> 00:18:57.440 Even if you're widowed. 360 00:18:57.440 --> 00:18:58.800 You know, I know those are special, 361 00:18:58.800 --> 00:19:01.760 but it makes you look like you're married still. 362 00:19:01.760 --> 00:19:05.440 Okay, let's keep those in family albums in our homes 363 00:19:05.440 --> 00:19:07.480 and in prominent places of remembrance. 364 00:19:07.480 --> 00:19:09.560 Let's not keep them on Facebook 365 00:19:09.560 --> 00:19:12.040 because if someone's interested in you 366 00:19:12.040 --> 00:19:14.760 and they start scrolling in your pictures to look, 367 00:19:14.760 --> 00:19:16.720 they might think you're married still. 368 00:19:16.720 --> 00:19:18.640 And then they just, oh, they're married. 369 00:19:19.040 --> 00:19:20.880 And then they just move on. 370 00:19:20.880 --> 00:19:22.920 So you don't need to have those special pictures. 371 00:19:22.920 --> 00:19:24.960 Even if it's someone who passed away, 372 00:19:24.960 --> 00:19:26.920 you can have those obviously in your life 373 00:19:26.920 --> 00:19:28.920 and whoever marries you needs to understand 374 00:19:28.920 --> 00:19:31.760 that this is a continuation of your love story. 375 00:19:31.760 --> 00:19:34.400 And we're gonna continue to honor 376 00:19:34.400 --> 00:19:36.040 those that have gone on before, 377 00:19:36.040 --> 00:19:38.680 but we don't want them on our Facebook, okay? 378 00:19:39.720 --> 00:19:42.160 Just in our random little photo album there. 379 00:19:42.160 --> 00:19:43.640 Put them somewhere else, 380 00:19:43.640 --> 00:19:45.640 maybe in a private photo album or somewhere else 381 00:19:45.640 --> 00:19:48.000 where people can't get at them. 382 00:19:48.240 --> 00:19:51.600 But then let's talk about just the other photos in general. 383 00:19:51.600 --> 00:19:54.560 Photos that are just not great. 384 00:19:54.560 --> 00:19:55.400 They're not great. 385 00:19:55.400 --> 00:20:00.400 So curate your photo albums on any public site that you're. 386 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:02.480 on with pictures that what? 387 00:20:02.480 --> 00:20:03.620 Doug, do you guys remember the saying, 388 00:20:03.620 --> 00:20:05.100 a picture says a thousand words, 389 00:20:05.100 --> 00:20:06.480 it tells a thousand, 390 00:20:06.480 --> 00:20:09.640 a picture is worth a thousand words is the saying. 391 00:20:11.560 --> 00:20:13.920 So your picture should tell a story about your life, 392 00:20:13.920 --> 00:20:14.760 shouldn't they? 393 00:20:15.720 --> 00:20:18.640 Should your pictures tell a story about your life? 394 00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:21.820 If you're athletic, your picture should tell that story. 395 00:20:21.820 --> 00:20:22.860 If you're an animal lover, 396 00:20:22.860 --> 00:20:24.640 your pictures should tell that story. 397 00:20:24.640 --> 00:20:28.420 If you're silly, your pictures should tell that story. 398 00:20:29.420 --> 00:20:31.080 If you're fun, if you're adventurous, 399 00:20:31.080 --> 00:20:32.220 if you're well-traveled, 400 00:20:32.220 --> 00:20:35.180 your pictures should tell a story about you. 401 00:20:35.180 --> 00:20:36.980 If you're a foodie, 402 00:20:36.980 --> 00:20:40.360 there should be a lot of pictures of food around you. 403 00:20:41.740 --> 00:20:43.500 If you're a foodie, if you're educated, 404 00:20:43.500 --> 00:20:45.900 if you're musical, the list goes on and on. 405 00:20:45.900 --> 00:20:47.540 So go ahead and put up in the chat right now, 406 00:20:47.540 --> 00:20:50.100 what story should pictures be telling about you? 407 00:20:50.100 --> 00:20:51.220 What should your pictures, 408 00:20:51.220 --> 00:20:52.500 what story should they be telling? 409 00:20:52.500 --> 00:20:54.400 Let's hear it, let's see it, go ahead. 410 00:20:55.280 --> 00:20:58.280 I had a fuzzy just fly up my nose, okay. 411 00:20:59.800 --> 00:21:02.720 You're artistic, yes. 412 00:21:02.720 --> 00:21:04.720 And you guys, we don't want to just see picture of your art. 413 00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:06.040 Remember the grace is on your face. 414 00:21:06.040 --> 00:21:09.000 So Gail, I want a picture of you painting 415 00:21:09.000 --> 00:21:11.080 or you drawing, okay? 416 00:21:11.080 --> 00:21:13.520 I don't want to just see the drawings or the paintings 417 00:21:13.520 --> 00:21:14.880 for those of you that are artists. 418 00:21:14.880 --> 00:21:17.320 I want to see you doing it. 419 00:21:18.840 --> 00:21:20.520 You have to be in the picture 420 00:21:21.120 --> 00:21:22.880 you have to be in the picture 421 00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:25.960 because the grace is on your face. 422 00:21:29.520 --> 00:21:32.040 If you love ministry, 423 00:21:32.040 --> 00:21:34.640 I want to see pictures of you on missions trip. 424 00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:35.960 So I want to see pictures of you 425 00:21:35.960 --> 00:21:37.560 behind the pulpit with a microphone. 426 00:21:37.560 --> 00:21:40.240 If that's what you do, I want to see those pictures. 427 00:21:40.240 --> 00:21:43.640 People should see who you are. 428 00:21:51.360 --> 00:21:54.160 All right, so obviously we're going to have 429 00:21:54.160 --> 00:21:56.560 some older pictures of us doing things that, 430 00:21:56.560 --> 00:21:58.560 maybe you're from a few years back, 431 00:21:58.560 --> 00:22:01.960 but when it comes to dating sites specifically, 432 00:22:01.960 --> 00:22:03.840 let's make sure that our pictures 433 00:22:03.840 --> 00:22:06.160 are as recent as we can get them. 434 00:22:07.160 --> 00:22:09.080 We know that you were hot when you're 20, 435 00:22:09.080 --> 00:22:11.360 but now you're 63 and you're still hot, 436 00:22:11.360 --> 00:22:12.440 but in a different way. 437 00:22:12.440 --> 00:22:13.960 And you got to make sure people know 438 00:22:13.960 --> 00:22:15.360 what you look like now. 439 00:22:15.360 --> 00:22:17.520 They're going to show up, okay. 440 00:22:18.520 --> 00:22:20.560 They're going to show up expecting 441 00:22:20.560 --> 00:22:22.520 a whole different era of you. 442 00:22:23.760 --> 00:22:25.360 And that's not okay. 443 00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:28.280 That's not going to be a happy day there. 444 00:22:28.280 --> 00:22:29.320 And sometimes these filters 445 00:22:29.320 --> 00:22:31.080 make us look like baby fetuses. 446 00:22:31.080 --> 00:22:32.920 Do not put the filters on your face 447 00:22:32.920 --> 00:22:34.240 that make you look like a baby. 448 00:22:34.240 --> 00:22:35.480 All right, that make you look really young 449 00:22:35.480 --> 00:22:36.760 like you're 12 years old still. 450 00:22:36.760 --> 00:22:39.680 And you're like 52, don't do that. 451 00:22:39.680 --> 00:22:41.880 Because if someone does show up and meet up with you, 452 00:22:41.880 --> 00:22:43.400 when you look like you're 12 years old, 453 00:22:43.400 --> 00:22:45.200 then they're probably not the person 454 00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:47.040 you want to date already. 455 00:22:48.160 --> 00:22:49.080 Am I wrong? 456 00:22:49.080 --> 00:22:50.840 I'm wrong, okay. 457 00:22:50.840 --> 00:22:53.640 So good quality photos, not pixelated, 458 00:22:53.640 --> 00:22:55.640 not like all blurry and weird. 459 00:22:55.640 --> 00:22:58.160 You guys, please try not to. 460 00:22:58.160 --> 00:22:59.000 And first of all, 461 00:22:59.000 --> 00:23:00.960 you can get someone to take new pictures of you. 462 00:23:00.960 --> 00:23:02.800 Some of you need to invest in a professional 463 00:23:02.800 --> 00:23:04.000 taking some pictures of you. 464 00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:06.480 You need to invest in some new pictures of yourself. 465 00:23:06.480 --> 00:23:07.440 But if you have a friend, 466 00:23:07.440 --> 00:23:10.440 everyone has a friend who is a photographer of some sort. 467 00:23:12.040 --> 00:23:14.280 Have them just go out, do a fun photo shoot, 468 00:23:14.280 --> 00:23:15.560 get some fun pictures. 469 00:23:15.560 --> 00:23:16.680 But not only that, you guys, 470 00:23:16.680 --> 00:23:19.400 because we don't want just professional looking pictures. 471 00:23:19.400 --> 00:23:21.640 We also want pictures of you doing things, 472 00:23:21.640 --> 00:23:23.800 your hobbies, athletic, animal lovers, 473 00:23:23.800 --> 00:23:25.680 silly, fun, adventurous, all that. 474 00:23:25.680 --> 00:23:28.000 But let's try not to put up too many pictures 475 00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:30.200 that you have to crop other people out of. 476 00:23:30.200 --> 00:23:31.040 Because I'm telling you, 477 00:23:31.040 --> 00:23:33.160 when people are scrolling and they're looking, 478 00:23:33.160 --> 00:23:35.640 they almost always think that you've cropped an X 479 00:23:35.640 --> 00:23:36.640 out of this picture. 480 00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:40.120 If they see a picture where you're clearly 481 00:23:40.120 --> 00:23:42.560 have had your arm around somebody, 482 00:23:42.560 --> 00:23:46.600 and now your arm is cut off and that person is gone, 483 00:23:47.400 --> 00:23:49.920 they're not gonna assume that it's your Aunt Betsy. 484 00:23:49.920 --> 00:23:51.920 They're gonna assume that it's your ex. 485 00:23:54.160 --> 00:23:55.840 And if you have too many of those pictures, 486 00:23:55.840 --> 00:23:57.360 then they assume that you were either 487 00:23:57.360 --> 00:23:59.960 in a deep, deep, deep, deep relationship with someone 488 00:23:59.960 --> 00:24:02.560 and took a lot of pictures, or you have a lot of exes. 489 00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:06.360 So let's try not to crop too many, okay? 490 00:24:07.240 --> 00:24:10.320 All right, because we can always get new photos, can't we? 491 00:24:10.320 --> 00:24:13.160 We can always get new ones, and we need to. 492 00:24:13.160 --> 00:24:15.720 Smile, gentlemen, this is mainly for you. 493 00:24:15.880 --> 00:24:17.800 Smile, it's not a mug shot, sir. 494 00:24:17.800 --> 00:24:19.240 It's not a mug shot. 495 00:24:19.240 --> 00:24:21.120 It's really not that bad. 496 00:24:21.120 --> 00:24:23.240 Life is better than you're making it seem. 497 00:24:23.240 --> 00:24:25.520 And contrary to popular belief, 498 00:24:25.520 --> 00:24:27.440 women are not looking for hard men. 499 00:24:28.640 --> 00:24:30.440 That actually scares us a little bit 500 00:24:31.560 --> 00:24:36.560 when you have a mean picture as your main profile picture. 501 00:24:36.840 --> 00:24:39.440 It's mean, and we're like, oh no. 502 00:24:41.960 --> 00:24:43.880 He looks like my abusive Uncle Tony. 503 00:24:43.960 --> 00:24:46.160 I'm not gonna date him, you know? 504 00:24:48.680 --> 00:24:50.960 My Aunt Gina is still like, you know, 505 00:24:50.960 --> 00:24:53.240 has a restraining order against Tony. 506 00:24:53.240 --> 00:24:54.840 That's what we think. 507 00:24:54.840 --> 00:24:56.960 Don't not smile. 508 00:24:56.960 --> 00:24:58.080 Don't not smile. 509 00:24:58.080 --> 00:24:59.400 Ladies, let me tell you what men. 510 00:24:59.400 --> 00:25:00.240 I polled men. 511 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.560 And I polled the men that I work with 512 00:25:02.560 --> 00:25:04.640 on what they noticed first about you. 513 00:25:04.640 --> 00:25:05.820 And this is what they said. 514 00:25:05.820 --> 00:25:08.080 They noticed whether your hair looks soft. 515 00:25:09.000 --> 00:25:12.120 It's not about what color your hair is, all right? 516 00:25:12.120 --> 00:25:13.980 It's not about how long it is. 517 00:25:13.980 --> 00:25:17.500 They noticed whether or not it looks like it's touchable. 518 00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:23.160 Like nice, nice hair, nice hair, okay? 519 00:25:23.160 --> 00:25:25.240 And then they noticed your eyes 520 00:25:26.560 --> 00:25:27.960 and they noticed your smile. 521 00:25:28.960 --> 00:25:32.000 I cannot say this enough, so I'm gonna say it again. 522 00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:35.060 And you've probably heard me, I'm like a broken record. 523 00:25:35.060 --> 00:25:38.840 Please find glasses, if you wear glasses like I do, 524 00:25:38.840 --> 00:25:42.560 please find glasses that look good on you. 525 00:25:45.280 --> 00:25:48.040 I can't tell you how many glasses makeover 526 00:25:48.040 --> 00:25:50.580 I have suggested and done 527 00:25:50.580 --> 00:25:53.020 and the people look totally different now. 528 00:25:54.560 --> 00:25:57.320 That's another thing that you can post in our groups. 529 00:25:57.320 --> 00:25:58.840 Try on a bunch of different glasses 530 00:25:58.840 --> 00:26:01.240 and post us a little like, you know, 531 00:26:01.240 --> 00:26:03.440 menagerie of your glasses 532 00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:05.540 and ask us which ones we like best. 533 00:26:08.640 --> 00:26:09.980 Ask us which ones we like. 534 00:26:09.980 --> 00:26:10.820 A lot of you don't know, 535 00:26:10.820 --> 00:26:12.800 but your glasses are making you look harsh. 536 00:26:12.800 --> 00:26:14.960 They're aging you, okay? 537 00:26:14.960 --> 00:26:18.720 They're making you look, ladies, masculine. 538 00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:20.400 Gentlemen, they can be making you look like 539 00:26:20.400 --> 00:26:21.460 a little old man. 540 00:26:24.600 --> 00:26:26.780 I don't know if there's anyone here from my OGs, 541 00:26:26.780 --> 00:26:28.300 but remember, granny glasses, 542 00:26:28.300 --> 00:26:30.100 make sure your glasses are pushed up. 543 00:26:30.100 --> 00:26:32.060 Y'all, don't be going around life like this. 544 00:26:32.060 --> 00:26:32.900 What are you? 545 00:26:32.900 --> 00:26:33.720 Are you a granny? 546 00:26:33.720 --> 00:26:34.560 Are you a librarian? 547 00:26:34.560 --> 00:26:35.980 What are we doing here? 548 00:26:35.980 --> 00:26:37.660 No granny glasses. 549 00:26:38.980 --> 00:26:40.620 I like, you guys, I don't even like the way 550 00:26:40.620 --> 00:26:42.500 I look without glasses anymore. 551 00:26:42.500 --> 00:26:44.520 I feel like a panda without its spots 552 00:26:44.520 --> 00:26:46.300 when I don't have my glasses on. 553 00:26:46.300 --> 00:26:51.020 So glasses can really become part of your whole vibe, 554 00:26:51.020 --> 00:26:52.780 but they gotta be good ones. 555 00:26:52.780 --> 00:26:56.000 So some of you, I wanna know, if you wear glasses, 556 00:26:56.000 --> 00:26:58.880 when was the last time, how many years ago, 557 00:26:58.880 --> 00:27:00.160 that you updated your frame? 558 00:27:00.160 --> 00:27:03.760 Like you went from a different frame to a different frame? 559 00:27:03.760 --> 00:27:04.600 Let's see. 560 00:27:04.600 --> 00:27:08.620 And also, okay, let's do this first, am I a comedian? 561 00:27:08.620 --> 00:27:11.020 Well, maybe. 562 00:27:13.120 --> 00:27:14.920 I've often thought standup sounded fun. 563 00:27:14.920 --> 00:27:16.360 I might try it sometime. 564 00:27:17.920 --> 00:27:20.000 Only wear for reading, this year, this year. 565 00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:20.920 Come on, let's see these. 566 00:27:20.920 --> 00:27:22.820 Last year, one year, one and a half years. 567 00:27:22.820 --> 00:27:24.520 Okay, so be honest and say, 568 00:27:24.520 --> 00:27:26.920 did you go to a completely different style 569 00:27:26.920 --> 00:27:29.320 or did you just get something very, very similar 570 00:27:29.320 --> 00:27:31.160 to what you got, okay? 571 00:27:31.160 --> 00:27:34.520 And then now I wanna see for everyone, 572 00:27:34.520 --> 00:27:36.680 I wanna see when was the last time 573 00:27:36.680 --> 00:27:39.000 you changed your hairstyle? 574 00:27:39.000 --> 00:27:41.400 Do you have the same hairstyle that you had in high school? 575 00:27:41.400 --> 00:27:42.520 Let's see. 576 00:27:42.520 --> 00:27:43.900 What's the hairstyle? 577 00:27:46.280 --> 00:27:48.140 Hair color, hairstyle. 578 00:27:51.600 --> 00:27:53.080 You guys, my birthday's next week 579 00:27:53.080 --> 00:27:58.040 and I notoriously always want to like have a makeover. 580 00:28:01.700 --> 00:28:04.440 So if I show up and I have flaming red hair, 581 00:28:04.440 --> 00:28:05.720 you know what happened. 582 00:28:05.720 --> 00:28:07.800 I just, I couldn't take it. 583 00:28:07.800 --> 00:28:09.280 I had to do something. 584 00:28:09.280 --> 00:28:10.120 Okay. 585 00:28:12.720 --> 00:28:14.800 So you see, some of you guys need a change. 586 00:28:14.800 --> 00:28:16.580 You need a shift. 587 00:28:16.580 --> 00:28:18.920 You need something different. 588 00:28:18.920 --> 00:28:20.680 Something, something different. 589 00:28:20.680 --> 00:28:22.360 And you guys, you don't have to go it alone. 590 00:28:22.360 --> 00:28:23.440 Remember, we're here. 591 00:28:23.440 --> 00:28:25.040 Your community is here for you. 592 00:28:25.040 --> 00:28:26.720 If you're thinking about doing something different 593 00:28:26.720 --> 00:28:29.680 to your hair, show up in the group and post the picture. 594 00:28:29.680 --> 00:28:31.440 Say, hey, I'm thinking about doing this to my hair. 595 00:28:31.440 --> 00:28:33.360 What do you guys honestly think? 596 00:28:33.360 --> 00:28:36.360 And all you, and all you little cheerleaders in the group, 597 00:28:36.360 --> 00:28:39.960 don't be like, oh yes, yes, honey. 598 00:28:39.960 --> 00:28:43.280 Get that pixie cut that's purple. 599 00:28:43.280 --> 00:28:45.520 No, no. 600 00:28:47.160 --> 00:28:50.200 Let's give each other honest feedback, okay? 601 00:28:50.200 --> 00:28:51.440 Honest feedback, important. 602 00:28:51.440 --> 00:28:52.280 Okay. 603 00:28:53.480 --> 00:28:54.960 All right. 604 00:28:54.960 --> 00:28:55.800 So. 605 00:29:04.200 --> 00:29:07.000 Okay, so those are, 606 00:29:07.000 --> 00:29:10.600 those are kind of the things that I wrote down 607 00:29:10.600 --> 00:29:12.120 that really stood out to me about 608 00:29:12.120 --> 00:29:15.440 how we need to be presenting ourselves in pictures. 609 00:29:15.440 --> 00:29:18.240 And you guys remember, people are gonna judge you. 610 00:29:18.240 --> 00:29:21.360 Guys, find something about yourself that you really like, 611 00:29:21.360 --> 00:29:23.560 okay, and highlight your best features. 612 00:29:23.560 --> 00:29:27.400 If you have beautiful eyes, then highlight that. 613 00:29:27.400 --> 00:29:30.000 Like those pictures should show how beautiful your eyes are, 614 00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:31.520 how beautiful your hair is. 615 00:29:31.520 --> 00:29:34.440 Gentlemen, if you've been in the gym, and ladies too, 616 00:29:34.440 --> 00:29:36.240 if you guys, if you have a hot bod, 617 00:29:37.280 --> 00:29:38.920 go ahead and rock it. 618 00:29:38.920 --> 00:29:40.320 Flaunt that bod. 619 00:29:40.320 --> 00:29:43.800 Just, gentlemen, not with your shirt off, okay? 620 00:29:44.640 --> 00:29:48.160 We don't want any thirsty, shirtless pics. 621 00:29:49.080 --> 00:29:51.680 And I don't think there's any guys in here that would do that 622 00:29:51.680 --> 00:29:56.680 but that is a definite swipe right or swipe left, 623 00:29:56.800 --> 00:29:59.360 whichever way you swipe that says no. 624 00:29:59.360 --> 00:30:00.200 That is. 625 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.960 It's right, right? Yeah, swipe right. So yes. So make sure that you don't do that 626 00:30:05.680 --> 00:30:08.480 because we don't want to see that. No one wants to see that. Okay. 627 00:30:10.240 --> 00:30:15.040 Wait for the beach. Well, yeah, but still that's, those are not, even if it's at the beach, 628 00:30:15.600 --> 00:30:21.760 don't put half naked pictures on any kind of your profiles. It's just not, it's not what 629 00:30:21.760 --> 00:30:27.920 you want to do. But so whatever, whatever it is that's your best feature, go ahead and flaunt it. 630 00:30:27.920 --> 00:30:32.160 And some of you don't even know how to dress too. You know, what you do is you get so depressed 631 00:30:32.160 --> 00:30:36.960 about the things about yourself that you don't like, that you don't know how to highlight the 632 00:30:36.960 --> 00:30:44.080 things you do like. All you can focus on, all you can focus on, I have my retainer in, 633 00:30:44.080 --> 00:30:47.760 all you can focus on is the things you don't like about yourself. 634 00:30:49.600 --> 00:30:53.600 Who's guilty of that? All you can focus on is the things that you think that you need 635 00:30:53.600 --> 00:30:59.600 to change or you need to work on, but there's something really amazingly beautiful about you. 636 00:30:59.600 --> 00:31:04.240 Everyone's beautiful. And if you don't know what it is, then you need to ask somebody to tell you 637 00:31:06.240 --> 00:31:10.880 ask people that you know, and trust people that love you, ask them and say, Hey, you know what, 638 00:31:12.480 --> 00:31:17.040 would you mind telling me, you know, like what, what you think is beautiful about me 639 00:31:17.520 --> 00:31:26.640 so that I can highlight that in my pictures? You don't, maybe you have beautiful hands or maybe you 640 00:31:26.640 --> 00:31:36.720 have gorgeous legs, ladies, right? Maybe you should, you know, rock that skirt a little shorter 641 00:31:36.720 --> 00:31:42.400 because you got, got them games. That's all right. Listen, there's nothing wrong with that. 642 00:31:43.120 --> 00:31:48.880 There's nothing wrong with that at all. Okay. Maybe you have beautiful hair, right? Maybe you 643 00:31:48.880 --> 00:31:53.280 just have really symmetrical face and you're just really beautiful. You have a beautiful face. You 644 00:31:53.280 --> 00:31:57.360 have a great collarbone, you know, whatever your beautiful skin, I don't care what it is. 645 00:31:59.200 --> 00:32:06.480 Find a way to lead with your strength, lead with your strength. Okay. Now let's talk about the 646 00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:13.280 actual words that we use to describe ourselves really quick. All right. So there's grace on 647 00:32:13.280 --> 00:32:17.280 our face. So we're going to put our faces out there. So everyone, you guys, here it is, 648 00:32:17.280 --> 00:32:22.320 you're being challenged right now. If you have some sort of avatar, that's not your face on 649 00:32:22.320 --> 00:32:27.440 Facebook or Instagram. And it's because you're like, Oh, I'm hyper-vigilant about my safety. 650 00:32:27.440 --> 00:32:31.600 I don't want people that don't know me. You guys get over that. You are God defended. 651 00:32:32.400 --> 00:32:37.280 You can't be hiding out unless of course you really are hiding out. Like I said, 652 00:32:37.280 --> 00:32:42.560 if you're in some sort of like restraining order situation or some messed up custody situation, 653 00:32:43.360 --> 00:32:47.600 if you have some kind of job or you're not allowed to be on social media for some reason, 654 00:32:47.600 --> 00:32:49.600 then you're the only people that have a pass. 655 00:32:52.640 --> 00:32:59.200 Cool. And you guys, if you think that you do not have good taste in your own photos, 656 00:32:59.200 --> 00:33:06.320 your own photos, then please let us weigh in on those. We want to weigh in on those. Okay. 657 00:33:06.320 --> 00:33:12.960 Let's talk about matching with people or talking to people over any kind of digital platform. So 658 00:33:12.960 --> 00:33:18.800 whether you're emailing with people or you're talking to someone on LinkedIn or Instagram or 659 00:33:18.800 --> 00:33:24.400 Facebook or a dating app, okay. Like matching on a dating app. For those of you that are on 660 00:33:24.400 --> 00:33:29.040 the apps and you're using the apps matches mean nothing. They mean nothing. 661 00:33:31.120 --> 00:33:34.960 Just because someone swiped on you and you swipe on them, that's just the beginning. 662 00:33:36.880 --> 00:33:44.080 And 95% of those go nowhere. They go nowhere. And the reason why is because yes, 663 00:33:44.080 --> 00:33:48.480 it's exhausting and nobody wants it. You guys, if I told you the statistics behind 664 00:33:49.360 --> 00:33:55.840 how, what you have to put into it to even get one, you know, one conversation, 665 00:33:55.840 --> 00:33:59.840 it would be very discouraging. So I'm not going to tell you that, but I am going to tell you this, 666 00:33:59.840 --> 00:34:04.960 is that you have to be able to move the matches to actual dates. 667 00:34:06.400 --> 00:34:12.000 And this includes texting with someone that someone introduced you to. You got introduced. 668 00:34:13.520 --> 00:34:16.080 Someone gave them your number and now they're texting you. 669 00:34:18.880 --> 00:34:23.440 Them getting your numbers, just the beginning, you guys, we've got to move that to an actual 670 00:34:23.440 --> 00:34:28.080 interest in you. And remember, it's all about, it's an advertisement. It's all about sales. 671 00:34:28.080 --> 00:34:35.280 And luckily your, your coach, me, Jackie D I'm good at sales. I am. I have a naturally persuasive 672 00:34:35.280 --> 00:34:43.760 personality. All right, guys, I was so good at being single just so you know, I was, I was really 673 00:34:43.760 --> 00:34:48.639 good at getting the dates. All right. So let me tell you, you want to move those matches to dates 674 00:34:48.639 --> 00:34:52.480 and the way that you do that. And I know that people are like, Oh, just the prettiest people 675 00:34:52.480 --> 00:34:56.800 and gentlemen, you're like the richest men, the most handsome men, the youngest men. 676 00:34:56.800 --> 00:34:59.840 I know that we think that those are the people that get. 677 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.480 You know success you guys that's just simply not true. Have you ever walked around the mall all those people met somewhere? 678 00:35:07.000 --> 00:35:12.920 All those couples of different ages shapes and sizes that you see laughing and talking and holding hands 679 00:35:12.920 --> 00:35:15.560 They all they all had a starting point 680 00:35:19.200 --> 00:35:22.860 They had a starting point somewhere so stop telling yourself stuff that's not true 681 00:35:23.080 --> 00:35:27.040 But a lot of you have no confidence and confidence is definitely sexy 682 00:35:27.040 --> 00:35:33.040 Confidence is definitely attractive. It is. Okay. All right. So remember people are gonna judge you 683 00:35:33.040 --> 00:35:36.040 They're gonna judge you and the people that judge you 684 00:35:36.040 --> 00:35:43.040 Harshly and don't want to meet you because it is it is no end of frustrating for me when I feel 685 00:35:43.040 --> 00:35:49.040 Supernaturally like two people should meet and one or the other of them looks at the picture that I show them and says no 686 00:35:49.040 --> 00:35:51.040 I'm not interested. I'm like 687 00:35:53.040 --> 00:35:55.040 Listen 688 00:35:56.040 --> 00:35:57.040 Listen 689 00:35:57.040 --> 00:36:01.040 How do you know you have not even met them yet? 690 00:36:01.040 --> 00:36:03.040 You cannot look at it 691 00:36:03.040 --> 00:36:10.040 Look, if you're willing to look at a 2d version of someone like a flat version a flat a flat version of someone 692 00:36:11.040 --> 00:36:16.040 And say nope, they're not for me then, you know, you're taking a pretty big risk in my book 693 00:36:18.040 --> 00:36:20.040 Because you have no idea what happens when you know 694 00:36:20.040 --> 00:36:26.040 That 2d version blows up into 3d and it look it and it it actually is right in front of you 695 00:36:26.040 --> 00:36:28.040 It's a completely different story, isn't it? 696 00:36:30.040 --> 00:36:35.040 How many of you be honest be honest how many of you either 697 00:36:36.040 --> 00:36:38.040 Saw someone throughout your life that you're like 698 00:36:39.040 --> 00:36:43.040 They worked with you. They went to school or whatever and they were just objectively good-looking 699 00:36:43.040 --> 00:36:47.040 Maybe they were even a celebrity and you were just like wow, they're so good-looking 700 00:36:47.040 --> 00:36:52.040 But then you got an opportunity to get to know that person or talk to that person and it was like watching paint dry 701 00:36:53.040 --> 00:36:57.040 Like it was the most boring experience of your life or they were rude or they were nasty or they smelled like 702 00:36:58.040 --> 00:37:01.040 Tuna fish whatever it was and you were totally turned off 703 00:37:02.040 --> 00:37:04.040 But just the look of them you're like, whoa 704 00:37:04.040 --> 00:37:07.040 But then when you got to like hear their voice or talk to them 705 00:37:07.040 --> 00:37:11.040 You're like, oh there was no attraction for you at all. And then look at all those hands 706 00:37:11.040 --> 00:37:13.040 That's a lot of hands put those hands down 707 00:37:13.040 --> 00:37:18.040 You saw a picture of someone or you you saw, you know solve somebody somewhere and they didn't look that attractive 708 00:37:18.040 --> 00:37:21.040 But upon acquaintance, they became very attractive to you 709 00:37:21.040 --> 00:37:25.040 Let's see those hands and I'd be curious to know if that's happened for men 710 00:37:25.040 --> 00:37:29.040 I know that happens for women a lot women, you know, we like the funny guys 711 00:37:30.040 --> 00:37:34.040 We like the fun guys. We like the kind guys. We like the guys that are confident 712 00:37:35.040 --> 00:37:37.040 We like the people that are kind 713 00:37:37.040 --> 00:37:39.040 We like the funny guys 714 00:37:39.040 --> 00:37:44.040 We like the fun guys. We like the kind guys. We like the guys that are confident, even though 715 00:37:44.040 --> 00:37:49.040 You know, they don't really look that great. They're super confident and we like that 716 00:37:49.040 --> 00:37:53.040 But gentlemen, does a woman ever grow on you? We want to know 717 00:37:55.040 --> 00:37:58.040 So any I know Nitin's here so Nitin you answer that 718 00:37:58.040 --> 00:38:02.040 Do you feel like a woman that you did not find objectively attractive at first? 719 00:38:02.040 --> 00:38:08.040 Do you has a woman ever grown on you to where the way she looks changes in your eyes as you get to know her 720 00:38:09.040 --> 00:38:10.040 Yes, Jackie 721 00:38:10.040 --> 00:38:14.040 Personality, kindness, compassion, understanding 722 00:38:16.040 --> 00:38:21.040 Physicality is just part of is this one part but that doesn't hold up for me too much 723 00:38:21.040 --> 00:38:23.040 If the other things are missing 724 00:38:24.040 --> 00:38:25.040 Oh for sure 725 00:38:25.040 --> 00:38:30.040 So you're saying that you have met a woman in your life that you did not find 726 00:38:30.040 --> 00:38:37.040 You know, particularly attractive at first sight or glance, but you found her attractive as you got to know her 727 00:38:37.040 --> 00:38:38.040 Yes, Jackie 728 00:38:38.040 --> 00:38:41.040 Okay, so guys see ladies it happens for men too 729 00:38:43.040 --> 00:38:47.040 Guys because unfortunately we all have a type we might say we don't 730 00:38:47.040 --> 00:38:53.040 But we do have a type of whatever it is that we think is good looking objectively from afar from a distance 731 00:38:54.040 --> 00:38:57.040 Or the kind of person that we might notice or that might turn our head 732 00:38:57.040 --> 00:39:01.040 But how's that type working out for you is a question that I have to ask 733 00:39:02.040 --> 00:39:03.040 How's that working out? 734 00:39:04.040 --> 00:39:05.040 Because you're here for a reason 735 00:39:08.040 --> 00:39:09.040 So, okay 736 00:39:10.040 --> 00:39:12.040 So we want to get those matches to turn into dates 737 00:39:12.040 --> 00:39:15.040 We have to get those matches to turn into dates, right? 738 00:39:15.040 --> 00:39:18.040 Whether it's someone texting you because you've got a private introduction somehow 739 00:39:19.040 --> 00:39:23.040 Whether it's someone dropping in your DMs on Facebook because they notice that you go to the same church 740 00:39:23.040 --> 00:39:26.040 You guys you know that Facebook suggests you to other people now, right? 741 00:39:26.040 --> 00:39:28.040 It's like, hey, do you know this person? 742 00:39:28.040 --> 00:39:29.040 You should be friends 743 00:39:32.040 --> 00:39:33.040 And what is it doing? 744 00:39:33.040 --> 00:39:36.040 It's based on the friends of friends and all the different things 745 00:39:36.040 --> 00:39:40.040 And so a lot of times just a couple people right now 746 00:39:41.040 --> 00:39:46.040 They friended me on Facebook because they became my client and immediately it started showing them my friends 747 00:39:46.040 --> 00:39:47.040 And some of you were my friends 748 00:39:48.040 --> 00:39:50.040 And it started showing them my friends 749 00:39:50.040 --> 00:39:51.040 And guess what? 750 00:39:51.040 --> 00:39:55.040 One of my friends, he clicked on because he thought she looked attractive 751 00:39:55.040 --> 00:39:58.040 And they started talking and now they're getting married 752 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:09.000 But that match had to turn into a conversation, okay? 753 00:40:09.000 --> 00:40:12.000 And so if you're on an app, it's not a conversation app, 754 00:40:12.000 --> 00:40:14.000 it is a dating app. 755 00:40:14.000 --> 00:40:17.000 And so we want to move that talking to dating. 756 00:40:17.000 --> 00:40:18.000 And if it's not going to move to dating, 757 00:40:18.000 --> 00:40:20.000 then you can't be bothered with it. 758 00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:22.000 It's a distraction. 759 00:40:22.000 --> 00:40:24.000 You guys, you cannot keep up 50 conversations. 760 00:40:24.000 --> 00:40:26.000 If I can't do it, you can't do it. 761 00:40:26.000 --> 00:40:33.000 And I'm very multi-talented at talking to a lot of people at one time. 762 00:40:33.000 --> 00:40:35.000 And I can't do it. 763 00:40:35.000 --> 00:40:36.000 And so you can't do it either. 764 00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:38.000 And so if it's not going to turn into a date, 765 00:40:38.000 --> 00:40:43.000 after a handful of conversations, just delete them and move on. 766 00:40:43.000 --> 00:40:48.000 Take it out of your space, delete it, and move on. 767 00:40:48.000 --> 00:40:51.000 If they circle back around and want a date, then cool. 768 00:40:51.000 --> 00:40:53.000 But otherwise, you're just moving on. 769 00:40:54.000 --> 00:40:56.000 Gentlemen, you're really guilty of this. 770 00:40:56.000 --> 00:40:59.000 So let me tell you, starting the conversation, 771 00:40:59.000 --> 00:41:04.000 do you know the average male intro on any type of electronics, 772 00:41:04.000 --> 00:41:07.000 whether it's texting, whether it's Facebook Messenger, 773 00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:13.000 whether it's a dating app, is 12, not words long, 12 characters long. 774 00:41:13.000 --> 00:41:15.000 A character is a letter. 775 00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:21.000 The average male introduction, when he starts talking to a girl, 776 00:41:21.000 --> 00:41:27.000 the average male woman is 12 characters long. 777 00:41:27.000 --> 00:41:29.000 It's probably like, hey, what's up? 778 00:41:29.000 --> 00:41:30.000 Let's count those. 779 00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:32.000 Hey, how are you doing? 780 00:41:32.000 --> 00:41:33.000 Hey, how was your day? 781 00:41:33.000 --> 00:41:38.000 Okay, that's it. 782 00:41:38.000 --> 00:41:43.000 The best chance that you guys have of getting someone's attention in this 783 00:41:43.000 --> 00:41:47.000 huge digital world is opening up with something. 784 00:41:47.000 --> 00:41:50.000 Go Google the internet, find a good opening line. 785 00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:53.000 Not something creepy, not something ultra personal, 786 00:41:53.000 --> 00:41:59.000 something that's just like, hey, pizza or burgers? 787 00:41:59.000 --> 00:42:00.000 You got to ask a question. 788 00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:01.000 You got to give something. 789 00:42:01.000 --> 00:42:05.000 It's got to be a response. 790 00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:08.000 In fact, I saw a really good one that I thought was so cute, 791 00:42:08.000 --> 00:42:11.000 and a guy said this to me on a dating app. 792 00:42:11.000 --> 00:42:14.000 I definitely would talk to him. 793 00:42:14.000 --> 00:42:16.000 It was like a reenactment of him, 794 00:42:17.000 --> 00:42:20.000 but it was a reenactment of his dating app experience right before he 795 00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:22.000 clicked on my picture. 796 00:42:22.000 --> 00:42:25.000 It was like, click, no. 797 00:42:25.000 --> 00:42:26.000 Click, uh. 798 00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:27.000 Click, hell no. 799 00:42:27.000 --> 00:42:30.000 Click, hmm, interesting. 800 00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:32.000 And then it said under it, 801 00:42:32.000 --> 00:42:36.000 this literally is a reenactment of my swiping today before I saw your 802 00:42:36.000 --> 00:42:37.000 picture. 803 00:42:37.000 --> 00:42:38.000 That was so cute. 804 00:42:38.000 --> 00:42:40.000 I would totally talk to that guy. 805 00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:42.000 Right? 806 00:42:43.000 --> 00:42:46.000 So, 807 00:42:46.000 --> 00:42:49.000 if you have a really cool, 808 00:42:49.000 --> 00:42:51.000 fun opening statement, 809 00:42:51.000 --> 00:42:55.000 make sure that you can sustain it. 810 00:42:55.000 --> 00:42:57.000 Don't go from something really cool and fun to, 811 00:42:57.000 --> 00:42:58.000 hey. 812 00:42:58.000 --> 00:43:02.000 Hey. 813 00:43:02.000 --> 00:43:06.000 All right, that's, no. 814 00:43:06.000 --> 00:43:08.000 They're going to know that you copy and pasted that. 815 00:43:08.000 --> 00:43:10.000 They're going to know that you're not that creative. 816 00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:12.000 They're going to know that you're not that funny. 817 00:43:12.000 --> 00:43:14.000 They're going to know that you're not that funny. 818 00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:16.000 So, make sure that we don't do that. 819 00:43:16.000 --> 00:43:17.000 All right. 820 00:43:17.000 --> 00:43:18.000 Let's not do that. 821 00:43:18.000 --> 00:43:20.000 Everyone hates the talking stage. 822 00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:22.000 Can we all agree that everyone hates the small talk, 823 00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:23.000 talking stage. 824 00:43:23.000 --> 00:43:24.000 They get to know you staged. 825 00:43:24.000 --> 00:43:25.000 Holy stinks. 826 00:43:25.000 --> 00:43:26.000 We all hate it. 827 00:43:26.000 --> 00:43:28.000 There isn't anybody who doesn't hate it. 828 00:43:28.000 --> 00:43:29.000 Right. 829 00:43:29.000 --> 00:43:36.000 Everybody hates the talking stage. 830 00:43:37.000 --> 00:43:39.000 We all hate it. 831 00:43:39.000 --> 00:43:42.000 We all hate the texting stage on an app or even on messenger, 832 00:43:42.000 --> 00:43:43.000 or even on the phone. 833 00:43:43.000 --> 00:43:44.000 Very fast. 834 00:43:44.000 --> 00:43:45.000 You guys, 835 00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:48.000 we have to make a decision very quickly about whether or not we're 836 00:43:48.000 --> 00:43:51.000 going to go ahead and give us a chance to see this person face to 837 00:43:51.000 --> 00:43:52.000 face. 838 00:43:52.000 --> 00:43:53.000 To get on the date. 839 00:43:53.000 --> 00:43:56.000 To get on the FaceTime. 840 00:43:56.000 --> 00:44:02.000 To get on the grace is on your face. 841 00:44:02.000 --> 00:44:03.000 To me, 842 00:44:03.000 --> 00:44:07.000 I think it's a little bit of a shame that we're going to have to 843 00:44:07.000 --> 00:44:11.000 wait three days or four days or even a week. 844 00:44:11.000 --> 00:44:15.000 Of just texting stupid crap back and forth on a dating app or on 845 00:44:15.000 --> 00:44:16.000 messenger. 846 00:44:16.000 --> 00:44:18.000 And gentlemen, listen, women hate this. 847 00:44:18.000 --> 00:44:20.000 If you're going to ask her out, ask her out. 848 00:44:20.000 --> 00:44:21.000 And ask her out pretty quick. 849 00:44:21.000 --> 00:44:22.000 Not in the very first conversation. 850 00:44:22.000 --> 00:44:23.000 Cause that's creepy. 851 00:44:23.000 --> 00:44:24.000 But. 852 00:44:24.000 --> 00:44:27.000 Within the first day. 853 00:44:27.000 --> 00:44:29.000 To two days of matching with her. 854 00:44:29.000 --> 00:44:30.000 Let's get it moving. 855 00:44:30.000 --> 00:44:32.000 Okay. 856 00:44:32.000 --> 00:44:33.000 So. 857 00:44:33.000 --> 00:44:35.000 I'm going to give you a little bit of a. 858 00:44:35.000 --> 00:44:36.000 A little bit of a. 859 00:44:36.000 --> 00:44:38.000 Equivalent of. 860 00:44:38.000 --> 00:44:39.000 You know, 861 00:44:39.000 --> 00:44:41.000 have you ever been on Amazon and you're just shopping, 862 00:44:41.000 --> 00:44:43.000 you're looking for something and you're just kind of window shopping. 863 00:44:43.000 --> 00:44:45.000 You don't really know what you want yet. 864 00:44:45.000 --> 00:44:46.000 And you click on something. 865 00:44:46.000 --> 00:44:48.000 And it says. 866 00:44:48.000 --> 00:44:53.000 350 other people have this in their cart. 867 00:44:53.000 --> 00:44:55.000 You're like those little hoarders. 868 00:44:55.000 --> 00:44:56.000 How dare they. 869 00:44:56.000 --> 00:44:59.000 Seriously. 870 00:44:59.000 --> 00:45:00.000 Especially when it says there's only two left. 871 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.000 I don't know how many people have it in their cart. 872 00:45:03.000 --> 00:45:11.000 And that is what you do to us, gentlemen, when you keep us hanging, wondering if you're going to ask us out on the freaking dating app. 873 00:45:11.000 --> 00:45:16.000 You put us in the cart, but you're not buying us. 874 00:45:16.000 --> 00:45:20.000 That's a problem. 875 00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:27.000 And you might be like, Jackie, why are you saying this to guys? Because we're waiting for you. 876 00:45:27.000 --> 00:45:33.000 And yeah, we're going to drop the hanky. And then if we drop the hanky, and then you put us in the cart, but then you still don't ask us out. 877 00:45:33.000 --> 00:45:36.000 That's not good. 878 00:45:36.000 --> 00:45:39.000 Because now we're like only paying attention to you. 879 00:45:39.000 --> 00:45:47.000 Because you've given us some kind of hope that this is going to turn into something besides a conversation. 880 00:45:47.000 --> 00:45:50.000 And so let's not put people in the cart. 881 00:45:50.000 --> 00:45:53.000 Ladies, you can do it too. You're putting people in the cart too. 882 00:45:53.000 --> 00:46:00.000 Let's not. The talking stage, especially the texting stage, does not have to last as long as it's lasting. 883 00:46:00.000 --> 00:46:04.000 Say some funny things. Ask some questions. 884 00:46:04.000 --> 00:46:07.000 There's all kinds of prompts all over the internet. 885 00:46:07.000 --> 00:46:12.000 If you're not a creative person and you can't come up with something, go Google it. 886 00:46:12.000 --> 00:46:14.000 Google it. 887 00:46:14.000 --> 00:46:17.000 Someone just said, what does that person just say? Oh, drop the hanky. 888 00:46:17.000 --> 00:46:22.000 Dropping the hanky just means letting a guy know that you're open to a face-to-face, you're open to a date. 889 00:46:22.000 --> 00:46:24.000 You're open. 890 00:46:24.000 --> 00:46:30.000 Nicole, you hear my voice in your head every time. I'm so sorry. 891 00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:32.000 I'm so sorry. 892 00:46:32.000 --> 00:46:43.000 You guys, there is nothing more annoying than going on Facebook Marketplace, because I'm not on the dating apps, although I do have a few catfish apps where I get people to come and let me work with them as their matchmaker. 893 00:46:43.000 --> 00:46:50.000 Yes, I do, on a few different dating apps, because I have to try them out and see how they are, because otherwise, how am I going to coach you? 894 00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:56.000 But Facebook Marketplace is like dating apps for your stuff. 895 00:46:56.000 --> 00:46:58.000 It's horrible. 896 00:46:58.000 --> 00:47:10.000 It looks like the stuff's available, and you go, and then there's a button that says, it's worse than a dating app, where you can literally send a prewritten message that says, is this available? 897 00:47:10.000 --> 00:47:13.000 Well, is it there? 898 00:47:13.000 --> 00:47:17.000 It's right there. 899 00:47:17.000 --> 00:47:18.000 It's right there. 900 00:47:18.000 --> 00:47:25.000 And so when I post things on Marketplace to sell them, I put in the bio, if it's here still, it's available. 901 00:47:25.000 --> 00:47:29.000 Don't ask me if it's available. 902 00:47:29.000 --> 00:47:30.000 Okay? 903 00:47:30.000 --> 00:47:32.000 It's only $35. 904 00:47:32.000 --> 00:47:34.000 Don't ask me to go measure it. 905 00:47:34.000 --> 00:47:36.000 Don't ask me anything else about it. 906 00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:37.000 I sent you pictures. 907 00:47:37.000 --> 00:47:38.000 This is what it looks like. 908 00:47:38.000 --> 00:47:39.000 Figure it out. 909 00:47:39.000 --> 00:47:40.000 And I'm going to send you a picture. 910 00:47:40.000 --> 00:47:42.000 And I'm going to send you a picture. 911 00:47:42.000 --> 00:47:45.000 And I'm going to send you a picture. 912 00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:48.000 And I'm going to send you a picture. 913 00:47:48.000 --> 00:47:51.000 And the person that comes to my house to pick it up, gets it. 914 00:47:51.000 --> 00:47:55.000 A lot of you need to approach your dating life like this. 915 00:47:55.000 --> 00:47:56.000 Okay? 916 00:47:56.000 --> 00:47:58.000 People are wasting your time. 917 00:47:58.000 --> 00:48:00.000 They have no intention of buying this thing. 918 00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:08.000 They're just trolling around Marketplace, seeing what they like and seeing what's still available. 919 00:48:09.000 --> 00:48:10.000 If you know, you know. 920 00:48:10.000 --> 00:48:14.000 So I tell them, whoever, and they're like, oh, hey, I'm interested in buying it. 921 00:48:14.000 --> 00:48:16.000 I'm like, don't tell me. 922 00:48:16.000 --> 00:48:19.000 Show me. 923 00:48:19.000 --> 00:48:21.000 Here's the address. 924 00:48:21.000 --> 00:48:25.000 If you come, then I'll know you're telling the truth. 925 00:48:25.000 --> 00:48:34.000 Otherwise, the very first person that shows up here with their Venmo in hand will be getting this product. 926 00:48:34.000 --> 00:48:37.000 Am I wrong? 927 00:48:37.000 --> 00:48:38.000 No. 928 00:48:38.000 --> 00:48:41.000 I'm not. 929 00:48:41.000 --> 00:48:42.000 All right. 930 00:48:42.000 --> 00:48:43.000 Okay. 931 00:48:43.000 --> 00:48:45.000 So we have some time for Q&A. 932 00:48:45.000 --> 00:48:48.000 Hopefully this has been very fun and enlightening tonight. 933 00:48:48.000 --> 00:49:00.000 And so we're only 15 minutes here at the end for any Q&A about these topics, about graces on your face, about accentuating your highlighting your best qualities, about finding out what your best qualities are. 934 00:49:00.000 --> 00:49:04.000 If you're really down on yourself and you need someone else to pump you up, you need a cheerleader. 935 00:49:04.000 --> 00:49:05.000 Okay? 936 00:49:05.000 --> 00:49:06.000 Right? 937 00:49:06.000 --> 00:49:12.000 If you're understanding that your socials are an advertisement. 938 00:49:12.000 --> 00:49:13.000 They are an advertisement. 939 00:49:13.000 --> 00:49:15.000 When you are single, your socials are an advertisement. 940 00:49:15.000 --> 00:49:29.000 That means if your socials are super political, if they're super, like, divisive and political and then they have a whole bunch of crazy, like, you know, end-time stuff about God's judgment and different things, well, guess what? 941 00:49:29.000 --> 00:49:32.000 You're only going to attract someone who's into that. 942 00:49:33.000 --> 00:49:42.000 And I guess if you're into that, then maybe that is what you should put out there because you need to attract someone who's into that too. 943 00:49:42.000 --> 00:49:48.000 But maybe we should have a theological conversation about that sometime. 944 00:49:48.000 --> 00:49:49.000 It definitely is. 945 00:49:49.000 --> 00:49:51.000 It's definitely pretty negative. 946 00:49:51.000 --> 00:50:00.000 And if you're angry about your politics all the time and who you're angry at, you guys, on your social media, that definitely can be very divisive and very, like... 947 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.840 just icky. It's very icky. Okay, so what questions do we have? 948 00:50:11.200 --> 00:50:14.960 You're going to have to unmute yourselves too, you guys. I'm on my iPad and I can't see anything. 949 00:50:14.960 --> 00:50:20.720 Hey Jackie, this is Lauren. I'd like to ask a question. Is there a nice and not, I guess, 950 00:50:20.720 --> 00:50:27.120 snarky way when you're messaging with guys early on and they ask you boring questions that show 951 00:50:27.120 --> 00:50:30.800 they haven't read your profile? You know, I don't want to be a jerk and be like, read my profile, 952 00:50:30.800 --> 00:50:36.960 but it just gets so ridiculous. And I don't want to like copy and paste. I mean, it's hard to not 953 00:50:36.960 --> 00:50:41.040 get impatient and be annoyed by that, you know, but I certainly don't want to come off as like 954 00:50:42.320 --> 00:50:46.960 condescending. So I mean, what do you recommend? Do you just pretend like you don't have that 955 00:50:46.960 --> 00:50:50.880 information in your profile and you just talk to them anyways? Well, there's a couple different 956 00:50:50.880 --> 00:50:54.480 camps here. So there's the camp of, some people don't know how to use technology. 957 00:50:55.440 --> 00:50:59.680 They just don't. They're swiping. They're looking at the pretty pictures, but they're not really 958 00:50:59.680 --> 00:51:03.280 paying attention to what else is there because maybe they don't even really realize what else 959 00:51:03.280 --> 00:51:07.440 is there because, you know, some apps, you got to scroll for the bio. It just shows the pictures. 960 00:51:07.440 --> 00:51:12.560 You have to actually scroll for the bio. And some people don't know that it's beyond, it's a, 961 00:51:12.560 --> 00:51:17.520 it's below the fold. Right. And so that could be one camps. We can give a little bit of benefit 962 00:51:17.520 --> 00:51:23.120 of the doubt there. And then secondly, a lot of people are just nervous. They're just nervous 963 00:51:23.120 --> 00:51:28.400 when they're talking to a stranger. And so if we do something to break the ice and kind of get the 964 00:51:28.400 --> 00:51:34.080 ball rolling and then they don't pick it up, they still stay as boring as they are. Then just move 965 00:51:34.080 --> 00:51:41.840 on. If they don't pick it, ladies, gentlemen, you too, if you're talking to someone and you know, 966 00:51:41.840 --> 00:51:47.200 you try to spice things up, you try to say some funny things like, Hey, you know, what do you love 967 00:51:47.200 --> 00:51:52.000 to do on Sundays? You know what, you know, little, little trivia, watch NFL, go brunching, 968 00:51:52.000 --> 00:51:57.680 go to church, you know, and they don't pick it up or they just answer C and then they don't ask you 969 00:51:57.680 --> 00:52:02.080 a question. I mean, what yours, what can you do with this? You can do nothing with this. 970 00:52:02.960 --> 00:52:09.680 And if you are a sapiosexual like me, and I I'm guessing a lot of you are, what does that mean? 971 00:52:09.680 --> 00:52:13.920 That means that you're not going to just be attracted the way someone looks. You're attracted 972 00:52:13.920 --> 00:52:20.160 to personality. You're attracted to intellect. You're attracted to conversational chemistry. 973 00:52:20.160 --> 00:52:23.600 Then you already know that you're not going to have, you know, any kind of conversational 974 00:52:23.600 --> 00:52:27.840 chemistry with this person. This person is literally going to be like burnt toast and 975 00:52:27.840 --> 00:52:34.960 that's not going to be great. Asked to just take that fish off the hook. Cause remember you caught 976 00:52:34.960 --> 00:52:39.520 them with your profile. Just take that little fish off the hook and throw them back. Don't put 977 00:52:39.520 --> 00:52:44.800 them in your cart. Don't put them in your cart. Throw them back in. Let someone else put them in 978 00:52:44.800 --> 00:52:54.640 the cart. What else we got? Hey, Jackie. So I kind of move quickly when it comes to being on the app 979 00:52:54.640 --> 00:53:00.160 and then getting off really quickly. I would say within three to five days. And typically I will 980 00:53:00.160 --> 00:53:03.840 send a message to the guy. If he hasn't asked for my number, ask for a zoom. I'll say, you know, 981 00:53:03.840 --> 00:53:08.960 your, your free trial conversation is over. Your five day free trial conversation is over. 982 00:53:08.960 --> 00:53:14.000 If you want to contact me via zoom or what else, here's how to get in contact with me. 983 00:53:14.000 --> 00:53:17.120 And the people were like, Tiffany, that's just too harsh. You know, you got to keep 984 00:53:17.120 --> 00:53:21.200 talking to him for, you know, at least, you know, a week or, or, you know, seven, eight days. And 985 00:53:21.200 --> 00:53:25.520 I'm like, no, either you want to, I don't do pen pal, so I don't really text. So I'm like, 986 00:53:25.520 --> 00:53:30.320 either you want to talk to me on a zoom or talk to me in person or meet somewhere. You don't, 987 00:53:30.960 --> 00:53:35.200 how many, this is what, before you even answer that question, I want to say this, 988 00:53:35.680 --> 00:53:40.240 you know, one thing about you, if we're, if we're highlighting, you know, 989 00:53:40.240 --> 00:53:44.160 our best features, get on the apps that let you do a little voice thing, 990 00:53:44.960 --> 00:53:49.840 because you got a sexy voice girl. And you need to be showcasing that. 991 00:53:51.200 --> 00:53:57.520 Got a little radio, a little radio voice going on there. So, okay, go ahead and ask your question. 992 00:53:57.520 --> 00:54:02.880 So how many, how many days before you say, Hey, you want to zoom or do you, and like I said, 993 00:54:02.880 --> 00:54:06.320 I'm talking about like three days max. And then I hit them with that. 994 00:54:06.320 --> 00:54:10.560 That's what I'm saying. What I'm saying is just, no, y'all just, you know, just, just a couple, 995 00:54:10.560 --> 00:54:15.120 just a couple conversations. Like if they match with you and the conversation starts from our 996 00:54:15.120 --> 00:54:20.400 matches mean nothing. It's all about conversation. And the conversation starts, you know, by the next 997 00:54:20.400 --> 00:54:26.960 day, y'all need to be FaceTiming or meeting up in person or it's bye. You don't have time to be 998 00:54:26.960 --> 00:54:30.960 waiting around. This person either wants to like, at least making a plan. I'm not saying you're 999 00:54:30.960 --> 00:54:35.600 meeting up the next day, but you're making a plan to meet up. You're dropping the Hank. 1000 00:54:35.600 --> 00:54:40.320 You're like, if you like, if you like the banter, if you don't like the banter, just move on. 1001 00:54:41.200 --> 00:54:44.400 If you do like the banter, then let's, let's, let's talk. 1002 00:54:45.440 --> 00:54:49.760 Come on. And you guys, you can say, ladies, you can say something flirty. You can say something 1003 00:54:49.760 --> 00:54:57.840 like, you know what's a girl got to do to get a date, you know, like something like that. And 1004 00:54:57.840 --> 00:55:00.240 then if he sends you a dick pic, you just delete them anyway. 1005 00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.600 And then we're gone. We're just, we're, we're over that. And we just went ahead and ripped 1006 00:55:03.600 --> 00:55:08.800 the bandaid off. And now we're, now we're going forward. Don't be shocked by that. 1007 00:55:08.800 --> 00:55:14.880 There's so many eggplant pictures on dating apps, not funny. And if you don't know what that means, 1008 00:55:14.880 --> 00:55:21.040 then ask your, you know, ask your teenage nieces and nephews. Okay. So, but seriously, 1009 00:55:21.040 --> 00:55:27.840 you can be flirty. I flirted with my husband. I would tease him. Ladies teasing is a sure sign 1010 00:55:27.840 --> 00:55:33.840 that you like someone. So don't, don't tease things that men are sensitive about. Like 1011 00:55:33.840 --> 00:55:38.720 they're receding hairline or their height. Don't do any of that kind of teasing. But like, for 1012 00:55:38.720 --> 00:55:42.800 instance, my husband was my next door neighbor and he was driving in front of me one day when 1013 00:55:42.800 --> 00:55:47.120 we were just neighbors. And I had his phone number because we were doing carpooling together. And I 1014 00:55:47.120 --> 00:55:52.080 texted him and I was like, you drive like a grandma. And then I literally saw him looking 1015 00:55:52.080 --> 00:55:57.760 in the rear view mirror. Like, like what, where is she? You know, like you drive like a grandma 1016 00:55:57.760 --> 00:56:01.680 and you guys, you can say things like that. As long as you use the appropriate emojis, 1017 00:56:03.360 --> 00:56:07.520 just like a little cute, like little smirk emoji, you know, or something. It's about the emojis. 1018 00:56:07.520 --> 00:56:11.440 If you're going to say something like that, you got to have a little, a little emoji there, 1019 00:56:11.440 --> 00:56:13.520 you know, I was just teasing him. Right. 1020 00:56:13.520 --> 00:56:22.560 And listen, pay attention to their profile. If they are local to you and it says that they 1021 00:56:22.560 --> 00:56:28.960 love to golf, be like, be like, um, you know, I, I, I'm not sure, you know, I'm not sure if you, 1022 00:56:28.960 --> 00:56:32.400 you know, if you're a good golfer or not, you know, why don't we meet up at, why don't we have 1023 00:56:32.400 --> 00:56:36.800 the driving range so I can see your swing? You know, maybe, you know, maybe you swing like a girl 1024 00:56:36.800 --> 00:56:41.680 and a little smirk face, you know, kind of thing, you know, it's okay for you not only to drop the 1025 00:56:41.680 --> 00:56:48.320 hanky, but to drop a specific hanky. There isn't any guy that loves to golf on his profile that 1026 00:56:48.320 --> 00:56:52.800 lives local to you that is not going to meet you at top golf or at a driving range to have some fun. 1027 00:56:55.920 --> 00:56:59.840 I was born, I, you guys, I came out of the womb flirting. My mom's, my mom used to have to travel 1028 00:56:59.840 --> 00:57:04.160 from Ohio to California and Ohio to California. Cause we moved, we lived both places. And she 1029 00:57:04.160 --> 00:57:08.320 said, when I was two years old, she said at the truck stops, she said, I used to dance for the 1030 00:57:08.400 --> 00:57:13.280 truck drivers so that they would give me change for the jukebox. Now you guys, that could have 1031 00:57:13.280 --> 00:57:19.520 completely turned into a different career, but it didn't, which is important. But you know, 1032 00:57:19.520 --> 00:57:23.760 I've just been, I was just born flirty. And I feel like, you know, a lot of you have lost 1033 00:57:23.760 --> 00:57:29.280 your flirtiness because of a lot of different reasons. You're shut down, you're scared, 1034 00:57:29.280 --> 00:57:35.600 you know, you're not sure of yourself. You're not confident. Maybe you're scared because, 1035 00:57:35.600 --> 00:57:38.560 you know, you're just, you might be scared of men. You might be scared of women because of 1036 00:57:38.560 --> 00:57:42.000 rejection and things that have happened in the past. And so we are going to have a whole session 1037 00:57:42.000 --> 00:57:46.640 on flirting. It's, I think it's on the calendar for next month, Valentine's month, a little 1038 00:57:46.640 --> 00:57:49.680 whole session on flirting. All right. What other questions do we have? 1039 00:57:52.320 --> 00:57:56.400 Um, so how do you get yourself out there period? Like I know it sounds, 1040 00:57:56.400 --> 00:58:00.960 if even if you, let's say for example, apps are not your thing, how do you get yourself out there? 1041 00:58:01.520 --> 00:58:06.960 I live in the Boston area. There's no single cities. It's very hard to meet people actually 1042 00:58:06.960 --> 00:58:12.560 at my church. Um, everybody's either married and if they're in my age group, which is mid to late 1043 00:58:12.560 --> 00:58:17.920 thirties, I'm going to be 36 next month. How long does it take you to get to New York city 1044 00:58:17.920 --> 00:58:23.520 on the train from there? To be honest, a lot. I'm currently in busy season. I do taxes. So I 1045 00:58:23.520 --> 00:58:29.040 work overtime. I was going to say, cause we are having just, you guys know, February 10th, 1046 00:58:29.040 --> 00:58:35.200 we are having, um, a singles conference in New York city. Um, that will be out on the calendar 1047 00:58:35.200 --> 00:58:42.160 soon. It just, it just popped up. But, um, you know, you guys are a lot of other places to meet 1048 00:58:42.160 --> 00:58:48.400 people besides just bars and restaurants and things, you know, all cities have pages and you 1049 00:58:48.400 --> 00:58:53.120 can find these on Facebook where there's events in that city. You can go to events on your Facebook 1050 00:58:53.120 --> 00:58:56.400 page and those are not church events. Some of them are church events, but those are the events 1051 00:58:56.400 --> 00:59:01.120 that are happening in your city. And you know, and you, you need to get some wing woman or wing 1052 00:59:01.120 --> 00:59:04.800 men. You need to go to events. You need to go out in public. You know, Christians don't just 1053 00:59:04.800 --> 00:59:10.560 live at churches. They live in society and they are everywhere. Right? And so it's important that 1054 00:59:10.560 --> 00:59:13.840 you understand that you need to go to events. You need to get out there. Remember there's grace on 1055 00:59:13.840 --> 00:59:17.840 your face. You guys, I know that we've really focused a lot on digital right here, but it's 1056 00:59:17.840 --> 00:59:21.840 also about getting out of the house. One of my success stories, that's getting married in a few 1057 00:59:21.840 --> 00:59:25.920 weeks. She told me when she first started coaching with me, that she would go from home to the gym. 1058 00:59:25.920 --> 00:59:30.240 She's kind of like a gym rat. She'd go from home to the gym and from the gym to the grocery and 1059 00:59:30.240 --> 00:59:34.080 from grocery to home. She only went those places. And if she wasn't going to meet someone or run 1060 00:59:34.080 --> 00:59:38.400 into someone, and she just said to me, she said, literally, if I don't meet someone at one of those 1061 00:59:38.400 --> 00:59:42.720 places, then I guess I'm not going to meet them. And I, you know, I pushed back hard with her. 1062 00:59:42.720 --> 00:59:46.480 This was back when I just had a handful of students. It was the very beginning in 2020, 1063 00:59:46.480 --> 00:59:53.040 when I started doing what I do and professionally. And she she got out there and guess what? She's 1064 00:59:53.040 --> 00:59:57.680 getting married. And so you got to get out there. You have to get out there. I've only 1065 00:59:57.680 --> 00:59:59.840 had one student that ever married their mailman. 1066 01:00:00.800 --> 01:00:02.760 Only one of my students married their mailman. 1067 01:00:02.760 --> 01:00:06.960 So if you're, if you're hoping that the guy or the woman's going to get Amazon 1068 01:00:06.960 --> 01:00:10.600 prime to you, it could happen because I stand corrected. 1069 01:00:10.760 --> 01:00:13.680 She married her mailman, but it's probably not going to happen. 1070 01:00:13.680 --> 01:00:15.760 And so look at the events in your city. 1071 01:00:16.880 --> 01:00:17.360 All right. 1072 01:00:17.560 --> 01:00:18.760 Be an event person. 1073 01:00:18.760 --> 01:00:22.360 You guys, there's lots of accounts on Instagram for your city about events. 1074 01:00:22.360 --> 01:00:24.680 Like right here, we have what, where, when Austin. 1075 01:00:25.200 --> 01:00:27.560 And there is an Instagram account and they post everything 1076 01:00:27.560 --> 01:00:28.680 that's going on in the city. 1077 01:00:29.080 --> 01:00:31.760 Obviously go to church events, church conferences, singles 1078 01:00:31.760 --> 01:00:35.000 conferences, different things, not at your church and other people's churches. 1079 01:00:35.040 --> 01:00:38.320 Other things like winter jam, that Christian concert tour. 1080 01:00:38.320 --> 01:00:39.120 It's super cheap. 1081 01:00:39.120 --> 01:00:40.560 It's like $12 a ticket. 1082 01:00:40.800 --> 01:00:45.640 Go to things where you have the best chance of meeting other Christian 1083 01:00:45.640 --> 01:00:50.880 singles, but there's such a thing as good, better, best go to places where 1084 01:00:50.880 --> 01:00:53.400 you have a good chance of just meeting other people in your age bracket. 1085 01:00:53.400 --> 01:00:54.040 No matter what it is. 1086 01:00:54.040 --> 01:00:55.480 Like I went to a YouTube concert. 1087 01:00:55.480 --> 01:00:56.840 Everyone there was over 40. 1088 01:00:57.560 --> 01:00:58.320 Everybody. 1089 01:00:58.680 --> 01:00:59.280 Okay. 1090 01:00:59.920 --> 01:01:02.840 So, you know, go to places where you have a good chance of meeting 1091 01:01:02.840 --> 01:01:04.920 people that are in your thing. 1092 01:01:05.280 --> 01:01:08.760 If you're, if you're CPA, I guarantee you that there's lunch and 1093 01:01:08.760 --> 01:01:12.200 learns for CPAs and people that are in that kind of, you know, that 1094 01:01:12.200 --> 01:01:13.480 kind of work and different things. 1095 01:01:13.480 --> 01:01:16.280 You guys incubators toastmasters. 1096 01:01:17.000 --> 01:01:20.440 There's all kinds of places where you can meet other people. 1097 01:01:20.640 --> 01:01:24.480 The problem is, is that Christians think that they can only meet people at church. 1098 01:01:25.440 --> 01:01:26.800 And there isn't anyone at your church. 1099 01:01:26.800 --> 01:01:28.120 And then that you get discouraged. 1100 01:01:28.120 --> 01:01:30.800 So there isn't any singles groups or single cities near you. 1101 01:01:30.800 --> 01:01:33.320 And then you get discouraged, get out there. 1102 01:01:34.080 --> 01:01:35.520 There's grace on your face. 1103 01:01:35.560 --> 01:01:36.920 God has you highlighted. 1104 01:01:37.280 --> 01:01:40.240 He's going to put you in the right place at the right time with the right people, 1105 01:01:40.440 --> 01:01:42.960 but you have got to move your feet. 1106 01:01:44.160 --> 01:01:47.200 And then after they meet you, you've got to make sure that they don't show up 1107 01:01:47.200 --> 01:01:49.640 and look at your social media because they were intrigued by you and see 1108 01:01:49.640 --> 01:01:50.760 a bunch of weird stuff there. 1109 01:01:51.000 --> 01:01:55.000 Because if you think that people don't go and troll your social media after 1110 01:01:55.000 --> 01:01:57.240 they meet you, if they're intrigued, you're wrong because they do. 1111 01:01:58.760 --> 01:02:00.600 So what did I do with my social media? 1112 01:02:00.600 --> 01:02:01.440 Like my Facebook? 1113 01:02:01.440 --> 01:02:05.960 I mean, I deleted my anything about my exes, like, like about four years ago. 1114 01:02:06.200 --> 01:02:09.240 I mean, maybe I have too much cat photos or food photos. 1115 01:02:10.200 --> 01:02:10.720 I don't know. 1116 01:02:14.680 --> 01:02:15.200 Yeah. 1117 01:02:15.240 --> 01:02:17.000 Let's not have a lot of cat photos. 1118 01:02:17.560 --> 01:02:18.080 Okay. 1119 01:02:18.080 --> 01:02:19.640 If you love your cat, great. 1120 01:02:19.680 --> 01:02:24.560 One photo maybe, but let's not like let 80% remember the pictures are telling 1121 01:02:24.560 --> 01:02:28.320 a story about us and if all the pictures are about our cat, it's telling 1122 01:02:28.320 --> 01:02:29.600 them that we're a cat lady. 1123 01:02:31.360 --> 01:02:31.880 Right. 1124 01:02:35.000 --> 01:02:38.360 And you guys, I love your fur babies the way you love your fur babies, but 1125 01:02:38.360 --> 01:02:39.920 you're not a dog or cat mom. 1126 01:02:39.960 --> 01:02:40.760 You're a human. 1127 01:02:40.800 --> 01:02:42.760 You didn't give birth to dogs or cats. 1128 01:02:43.040 --> 01:02:44.880 You're not a dog or cat mom. 1129 01:02:45.360 --> 01:02:45.640 Okay. 1130 01:02:45.640 --> 01:02:46.320 You're the human. 1131 01:02:46.320 --> 01:02:47.160 Mom. 1132 01:02:47.560 --> 01:02:47.840 Okay. 1133 01:02:47.840 --> 01:02:51.520 You're the owner of a dog or cat and you love them and that's wonderful. 1134 01:02:52.000 --> 01:02:52.320 Okay. 1135 01:02:52.320 --> 01:02:55.040 But I'm just going to tell you that creeps a lot of guys out. 1136 01:02:56.840 --> 01:02:58.160 So love your dog and cat. 1137 01:02:58.800 --> 01:03:00.640 But right now I have a success story right now. 1138 01:03:00.640 --> 01:03:03.200 And he's like, I'm pretty sure she loves the cat more than me. 1139 01:03:03.360 --> 01:03:05.960 Like it's like causing friction in the relationship. 1140 01:03:06.960 --> 01:03:09.600 And I'm like, well, the cat's been around a lot longer than you. 1141 01:03:09.600 --> 01:03:11.960 So let's see how many lives you have there, Edgar. 1142 01:03:12.280 --> 01:03:16.000 So, um, like I'm not afraid to tell people like it is, but then at the same 1143 01:03:16.000 --> 01:03:20.920 time, you know, let's understand that we need to make room for humans in our lives. 1144 01:03:21.080 --> 01:03:21.520 Yes. 1145 01:03:21.520 --> 01:03:27.200 Those fur angels in our lives have kept us and helped us through a lot of hard 1146 01:03:27.200 --> 01:03:30.920 times and we're connected and attached to them, but we need to also be able 1147 01:03:30.920 --> 01:03:33.720 to attach to humans and you guys, that is what we're going to be talking 1148 01:03:33.720 --> 01:03:36.520 about in the second path at the. 1149 01:03:36.960 --> 01:03:40.000 Uh, end of this month, the next path session is going to be all community. 1150 01:03:40.040 --> 01:03:43.400 We're going to be talking about overcoming relationship anxiety, and 1151 01:03:43.400 --> 01:03:46.080 we're going to be talking specifically about attachment styles. 1152 01:03:46.080 --> 01:03:49.520 So please come ready to talk about yours. 1153 01:03:50.280 --> 01:03:52.040 We're going to go into breakouts during that. 1154 01:03:52.320 --> 01:03:56.800 We're going to really get to the nitty gritty of why we have the relationship 1155 01:03:56.800 --> 01:03:59.320 patterns and anxieties and different things that we have. 1156 01:04:00.160 --> 01:04:00.440 All right. 1157 01:04:00.440 --> 01:04:04.160 Well, Simbas is on this channel, so we got to go ahead and give way to them. 1158 01:04:04.160 --> 01:04:05.600 I hope you guys learned something tonight. 1159 01:04:05.600 --> 01:04:08.240 This is available on replay and you guys people please are no 1160 01:04:08.760 --> 01:04:12.200 is available in replay communication skills available in replay. 1161 01:04:12.240 --> 01:04:15.640 So even you came here live, you can still go watch those replays as well. 1162 01:04:15.640 --> 01:04:16.040 Okay. 1163 01:04:16.360 --> 01:04:16.560 All right. 1164 01:04:16.560 --> 01:04:18.400 I'll see you guys on supernatural Saturday. 1165 01:04:18.400 --> 01:04:20.680 And we do have ask Jackie tomorrow in all groups. 1166 01:04:21.000 --> 01:04:23.400 Um, so, um, I will be showing up there too. 1167 01:04:23.520 --> 01:04:23.960 Love y'all.