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Okay, everybody, welcome to Love Seats.

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It's a favorite episode.

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This is Renee Rizzo.

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Bethany will be joining us.

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She is just hopped on, so she's going to be here too tag teaming with me.

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Jackie and David are en route to, I can't remember if it's Northern Cal, I think it's

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Redding, California.

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They're back out there and going to be doing some cool stuff in the next number of days.

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And so we're excited to spend this time with you.

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And Bethany and I talked earlier with Jackie, there were just a few themes that we wanted

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to share with you.

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We're going to go quickly through that because this is really your time to hop in the love

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seat and be brave and be willing for us to unpack a story with you because you sharing

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your situation is probably similar to something that somebody else is thinking.

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So tonight's episode is as exciting and as fruitful as you all help make it to be.

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So here's what I realized in my journey here with this community.

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I did my five day, it was a five day challenge back then, three years ago, right after Valentine's

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Day.

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And I joined the program March 1st, 2021.

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So I'm just about to celebrate my three year anniversary here.

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Here's what I can tell you in those three years.

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I went from dating nobody, to hating the idea of online dating, to dating so much online

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that Jackie had me teach the course that we all still use.

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To then I met somebody within a year that I got all the way to Symbus with, and you

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know, Jackie always says she's a matchbreaker as much as she's a matchmaker.

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And so we successfully broke me in the Symbus class.

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But you know what, y'all, here's what I learned in that in that relationship.

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He was good in a lot of ways.

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He was not my person.

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But I was so feeling this pressure of getting married within a year, that I was willing

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to talk myself into a relationship.

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And in a way, I'm so glad some of his baggage came up, because it gave me the excuse to

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like call it quits.

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And I don't know what I would have done afterwards.

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So I was really ready to do that.

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Then I went into a dating desert.

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I call it the dating desert.

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I mean, it was like a ghost town and tumbleweeds, y'all.

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I dropped lots of hankies that just got blown in the wind and nothing happened.

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And then I've gotten to a season of a lot of long distance dating.

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And leading up to I can now officially announce for the first time in our community that I'm

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at a level three dating relationship with somebody I know Gail's so happy for me.

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Y'all, um, so some of what I'm going to teach you is the three, I'm going to cover three

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different things that I see a lot of you talking about in the chats and on the feed that I

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have personally had to walk through in the last three years.

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The first one is waiting and how to wait well, because y'all like some you're like, No, but

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I wait, I've been waiting for two and a half years, y'all, I've never been married.

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I definitely did my share of dumping in my twenties, but I have been on my health journey

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since 30 I'm 55 I have been on this search for my mate for 25 years.

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So get behind me.

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I'm just saying I get the waiting season.

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So here's what I feel like God had to teach me in the waiting season, and maybe he's teaching

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it to you.

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Obviously, the first thing that we need to look at is ourself.

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Now from a dating perspective, am I being all that I can be am I at the right height,

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the weight that I want?

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Am I being healthy to my body?

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Am I putting the right foods in my body?

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Am I getting enough rest?

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Am I getting enough sleep?

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Am I doing all I can to make my hair and makeup and clothing accentuate the best parts of

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me?

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You guys, I'm four foot 10.

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It's not like I'm ever going to look like a tall, exotic, skinny gal.

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So even in my best shape, I have to work with what I got.

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So mom taught me to work with what I got.

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So that's the first thing I really focused on.

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I focus on a lot of the exterior stuff, right?

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Because I thought, oh, I need to check that out.

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The second thing that the Lord needed me to work on was my worthiness.

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I had also just stepped down from running a nonprofit.

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And you guys, it was a ministry.

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It was a pregnancy center.

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We saved babies and all of the things.

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And so as my pastor said, you were like, you were kind of like Moses.

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You were second to Pharaoh, and then you've been in the desert.

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So I feel like most of my time in this community, I've been in the desert season.

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And so I had to make sure my worthiness wasn't based on my job title, how good I was doing

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in ministry, and how many accolades I was getting.

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So I really needed to work on that.

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The second thing that he will teach you in the waiting period is what is your relationship

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like with him?

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How are you?

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doing with God. Now, here's the thing, y'all. I'm not asking if you're going to church and doing a

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Bible study and memorizing verses and on the worship team, I'm asking how is your daily quiet

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time with the Lord? Because here's what I've had to realize, and I think I mentioned this on the

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prayer on Monday. Many times I run ahead of God. Like, He is just not working it fast enough for

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me. He's not doing it the way that I want Him to do it. And so I run ahead of Him. I'm either

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doing, and overall, I'm also doing things for Him. Like, I want to be obedient. I'm a missions

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girl. I've been in full-time ministry. So I've either been working for God or I've been working

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ahead of God instead of God. And God's like, no, no, no, no. I need to know that you like hanging

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out with me right here next to you without a man, without a title, without performing anything and

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accomplishing anything. Can you hang out with just me? And that's been the hardest one for me.

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And you guys, and I've been in ministry, and I've loved the Lord my whole life. And I realize

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I've served Him, but I didn't always hang out with Him. So that's one of the things I had to

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really work on. So again, had to do that. Maybe the waiting has nothing to do with me. Maybe the

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waiting has to do with the guy that God's preparing for me. Maybe his life is a hot mess,

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and God's still working on him. And if he came into my life too soon, it would have combusted.

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So maybe, and so for the men that are sitting here, maybe it's not about you. Maybe it's about

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the girl that God is preparing for you. So it's either about you. The time is either about your

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relationship with God, or sometimes the time is about that. And I think the final thing is in the

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waiting is God says, do you trust me? Do you trust me? I think I recently said in a phase two weekly

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check-in, I said, isn't it amazing that we trust God with our salvation? Y'all, we trust that He

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died on the cross, went to hell, conquered death, went to heaven, and when we die, we get to go home.

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And we will not have that seat of judgment because of that. And yet, we don't trust Him with our

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spirit mate because it's taking longer than we want it to. So that is what He has taught me in

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the waiting. The second thing I've had to really learn how to do is be willing to be willing and to

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be broken. There was a season I did a lot of long-distance dating because I was willing to

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leave my community that I built for 20 years. You guys, I have a very vibrant, full community here.

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I've been here for 20 years, and I was being willing to leave it, to go be with somebody who

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couldn't relocate. So I talked to men in like, I don't know, 12 of the 50 states that are around

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just to be considering where I could go. So I was willing to be willing. The other thing I had to

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learn, and I think that the Lord taught me, and this is true for some of you, like we've mastered,

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and this is true for the men too. So maybe we've mastered the physical boundaries. Like, okay,

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we've learned we're not going to have sex before we get married, but y'all, we're still emotionally

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sharing and oversharing, and we're binding with people. And so long-distance dating taught me how

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to rein in sharing too much of my personal story and getting too emotionally attached with somebody

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that's just on a computer before I met in person. So that's the thing I learned there. And then the

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final thing that I learned is really sitting into what does it mean to be in the divine feminine

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and the divine masculine? What does it mean for me to be the divine feminine, and how do I best

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attract the divine masculine? And so guys, this part's for you because I'm going to pick a few

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attributes that Jackie goes over in the divine feminine and in the divine masculine. The first

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one for the women is we are to be nurturers. Now, I will say for the codependents and the social

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workers and the medical people and the therapists in the world, we dip over into a caretaker way

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more often than nurturer. And you guys, that's been my hardest one to undo. And y'all, literally

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as recently as three weeks ago, I had a first video date. I teach this all the time. You know

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what he said at the end of the phone call? You'd make such a great therapist. That was the kiss of

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death. Like he was done with me after that because he just saw me as a therapist and not as somebody

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he could date. And I'm like, I've been teaching you guys on this for three years, and clearly up until

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a month ago, I still needed to work on it. The other one is the second one is counselor. We are

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supposed to bring out the counselor for the men, but here's the thing. Divine counsel is just

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offering a listening ear.

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and encouragement and giving sound wisdom.

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It doesn't mean we become their therapist

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or tell them what to do.

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Ladies, we like to tell people what to do.

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And then of course, comforter, peace and shalom.

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That was one that I really had to work on.

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I've got all this fiery Italian Yankee energy

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and how do I bring it into a peaceful place

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without making me small?

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I know Kelly Stotler is here on the call.

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She knows one of the guys I was talking to last summer,

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total type B personality.

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And I took this comforter, peace, shalom, meek, soft,

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gentle as I tried to make me really small.

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And Kelly knew I was miserable.

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She was like, Renee, you're not even you anymore.

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Like, who are you?

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And it was because that's what I thought feminine

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needed to be.

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And so I'm like, okay, I still gotta work on that.

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How can I be gentle and comforting and meek,

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but still be me?

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And so I've been constantly kind of working on that.

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And then the last two, you guys, receiver.

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I'm so good at giving.

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I was a horrible receiver.

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If men wanted to be chivalrous, I just wouldn't want,

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men would try to hold the door open for me.

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And like, I somehow just barreled past them.

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Like, I mean, I don't know how I did it, but I did.

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And of course men want women to be fun.

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And so I really had to sit in those pockets

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and really, really build that up.

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And you wanna know the thing that,

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and I was saying this to Bethany and Jackie today.

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I said, do you wanna know the number one thing

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that has attracted this guy to me?

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Is he said, Renee, I have never been around a woman

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who is so feminine.

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And I was like, yes, like I'm finally getting it.

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Like I finally found a pocket that looks feminine for me.

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And feminine for me is gonna look different

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than it does on Bethany, than it does on Aaron Joy.

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But if we are sitting in our own feminine,

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it's not gonna be fake.

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So feminine is not fake.

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And for the men, I wanna pick up a couple traits

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that has really endeared me to him.

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The first one is provider.

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Now I know you might be thinking, oh my goodness,

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that means I need to buy all the food

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and I need to buy all the meals.

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No, I mean, it can mean that, and it might mean that,

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but it also means like,

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maybe there is something wrong in her home

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and you can fix it.

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Maybe she needs a lift somewhere.

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Maybe she has something going on

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and you could provide help.

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Like maybe her cable isn't working.

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I don't know.

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Like there are many ways that you can provide for her

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that don't have to be a cost associated.

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One of the things that she also talks about

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is covering and loyal, covering and loyal.

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And I really love that you guys,

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like that has really endeared me to him.

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So if you are men on here and you are worried

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that all we care about is how much money is in your pocket,

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how tall you are, how good looking you are,

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and what your career is, nothing on this list is that.

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We are looking for, we want to feel like you've got us,

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you're protecting us, we're coming under your wing,

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you are loyal to us.

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And you guys, we both, this guy that I'm dating now,

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the thing that we've said we both love about each other

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is that we feel safe.

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And Jackie has always said that, that safe is sexy.

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And I'm like, oh, safe is boring.

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You guys, I like the thrill.

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I was anxious attachment girl.

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I'm like, I like the thrill.

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And so I just wanted to share those tidbits to you.

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I want to pass the baton real quick to Bethany

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because I also think she might have something to say

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about travel and trauma bonding.

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Because I also see a lot, we see a lot of women

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and men worried that you're trauma bonding.

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And then we really want to get some of you in the hot seat

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and answer some of your questions.

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I hope some of that helped y'all because I've been there,

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I'm walking it out with you guys and it matters.

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And so, Bethany, baton.

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Yeah, man, that was so good.

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I hope y'all are taking notes

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or you go back and watch this later

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because that is some jewels for lots of y'all

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posting about the guys you're dating.

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Man, I was just sitting here thinking,

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also Renee and I were talking today

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and one of the things that she said about this guy,

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and this isn't in the actual Divine Masculine list,

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but I don't think there's any coincidence

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that she was saying how kind he is.

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And I said to her, I was like,

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oh my gosh, that's exactly like when I was dating Brian.

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That was one of the things that stood out to me the most.

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And not just like kind to me,

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he was kind to everyone, everywhere we went.

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And in my former relationships, that was not the case.

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So for me, that was something...

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And men can be very masculine

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and walk in the fruit of the spirit of kindness,

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goodness, faithfulness, just saying.

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Women too, it goes both ways.

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But man, that...

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really the first night, he just really set himself apart by his goodness and his kindness,

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and that he also extended that goodness and kindness to me. On our first date, he not only

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chose to do this pay it forward thing, but he paid for me to be a blessing to someone else too.

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Y'all, chivalry looks a lot of different ways, and it doesn't always, like Rene said,

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you know, things don't always have to do with money. The fact that he was willing to drive

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four hours to have coffee with me right out of the gate, I was like, who is this guy?

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Is this real? You know, so just for the men, just be thinking about like, how can you show

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the woman that you are dating or trying to go on a date with that you care and that it's beyond

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the first date, you know, that you're going to not just open a door, but like live out chivalry

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as a part of your lifestyle. And ladies, that you'll receive it, that you'll receive it,

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even if it doesn't feel comfortable, that you'll practice receiving that stuff. Okay,

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so on what Rene was saying, that was just so good, I had to say something on that. But

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as far as when Brian and I met, I lived in Kentucky, he lived in Indiana, excuse me,

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for those of you that don't know our story, which was about four hours apart.

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So we were long distance. And, you know, we we learned how to pace really well, too. I will say

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that it was very good for me, because in relationships in the past, people were very

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clingy. And I think I relied on them too much. And so this gave us a really good time to build

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a solid foundation. We did video dates two nights a week if he couldn't come in town. But if he was

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coming in town, we did one video date night a week, and we would text. And it was great,

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because you know what, we both had busy lives in between. And this was just the part I felt

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led to share about the long distance, it's okay, if you can't get on a video chat or a phone call

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every night, you all let yourselves breathe and live your life in between, because that's actually

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super healthy. We shouldn't have like we shouldn't give up our whole lives just because

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we're dating. It's very healthy to live into your calling live into your dreams.

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You know, yes, make time for dating, which we did, we were very committed to kind of the way we and

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that's what worked for us to some of you guys might want to do an extra one. But I'm just saying

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some of y'all are talking every single night. And that is a whole lot. That's a whole lot.

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So you don't really have you're not like giving yourselves time to think through what did I even

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think about that conversation? How did I feel about what was said, you know, all those different

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things. And so we met in September, and we knew that very quickly, it was a marriage minded

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relationship, we definitely, you know, felt like God was leading us forward. And, you know, just

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started talking early on about like, who would move, like, if we did move forward with this,

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would we both move would, you know, we were both open to that. The first time I went to visit his

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family, I just felt like God's just nudged me and said, like, I want you to move. And y'all,

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I never wanted to move. Like Jackie over and over talked to me about it, because my spiritual

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daughters live in Lexington, I did not want to move. And by the grace of God, Jackie talked to

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me again, and she's like, I think you need to consider this. And because I extended the search,

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and followed the Holy Spirit from two and a half hours to four and a half. That's why I met my now

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husband. And, you know, then God leads me to Indiana, which it's been great, there's been a

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lot of blessing in it. But it's it's not always easy, right? Moving your life is is, you know,

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there is a risk you all there is. But praise God, the good thing out of it either way,

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whether you feel like it's a risk or not, this is what I learned. When I lived closer to Brian,

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I could see him in the day to day. And he could see me in the day to day, he could come by and

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have lunch with me on my lunch break, or I could go to his church with him, because he's a pastor,

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and whatever, you know, be with his family more all those different things. And that was super

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important, because people can be one way when they come once in a while for a date on a weekend.

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But I wanted to know, is he like this all the time? And I figured he was just because of who he is.

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But that was definitely how I got to see that he genuinely was what I was seeing on the weekends.

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And so, um, yeah, I moved here in December, December 24 2021. We got engaged May of 22.

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And we got married September 2022. Along the way, there are a lot of twists and turns,

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but you all long distance can work.

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It can work. And, you know, if God is nudging you to open your heart and your mind, like

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Renee said, something super important there. And that didn't end up being like this relationship

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she's in now, the guy's local, but praise God that she was willing, man, that she was

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willing to go on that journey and learn stuff. And the things that God taught her through

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it are so good. So just want to say like, when you're doing the long distance, you know,

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just be really be good at having fun too. Like we did movie nights and we would just

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get together on our computers and watch the same show or watch the same movie. Like one,

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one time he was sick with COVID for weeks and I couldn't see him. So, you know, we would

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get on and even play like cards or whatever, but we just made it a lot of fun. And there

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were a lot of great ways to connect whether he was in town or not. And then the other

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thing, Renee, what else did you want me to, what else did we say? I was talking about,

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I have totally lost my train of thought talking about this.

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Trauma bond. Oh yes. Yes. Thank you. Gosh, that's so important.

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Okay. So not with Brian, praise the Lord, no trauma bonding there. But before I would

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even say probably in my marriage relationship as well, I just didn't know anything about

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it. But in the relationship that I was in for six years, when I first met them on our

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first conversation, we talked for probably two and a half hours. And I remember thinking

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that was so amazing. I could tell him everything and you all know, it was not good. It was

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not good. And here's a couple things. Why, you know, not knowing any better at that time,

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we don't know what we don't know until we know it. And Jackie says that all the time.

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And that is so true. I mean, I was talking about losing my stepson in my, you know, when

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my ex-husband and I went through the divorce. And so I just really gave that person everything

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they needed to love bond me. I did. And unfortunately that is exactly what happened. And so you

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just have to be really careful. And then because we were trauma bonded, because he

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went through some very traumatic things growing up, as well as with his ex and I went through

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traumatic things, like instantly we're sharing all of our mess, all of our mess in our first

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conversation. And we really weren't even getting to know each other. And then on our first

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date. Yeah. So love bombing is basically like they're putting on, like they're pulling out

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all the stops right in the beginning. And they're just really pulling it, putting it

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on heavy, like how much in love they are with you. And it's very intense feeling like everything

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they do and say is, is making you think and feel they are actually in love with you. And

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it's just not realistic because it's not based on a love that grows. It's based off of a lot

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of things that just don't last. So basically they're, they're being somebody that they

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really aren't. And they're saying a lot of things that they don't really mean to try to get. And

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sometimes I don't even think, you know, people that do this stuff, they are mentally not

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healthy. Right. And so I don't even think they always know that they're doing it. I think

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that some people do, and I know I don't want to start an argument in the chat, so please

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don't go there. Um, but I think the reality is, is that sometimes people are just that

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deceived that they don't know. Um, and so for whatever it's worth, um, I remember early

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on, I mean, literally after we went on one date, he was like telling me how he's going

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to treat me like a princess and he was going to do all this stuff for me. And we were going

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to get married like within a week, he's telling me we were going to get married and you all,

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I just, my heart was still not healthy. And so I just was like, Oh my gosh, he's who I've

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been waiting for forever. Like he wants to marry me. And like, I just got so caught up

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in that. And like the fact that when I pulled up, he had a nice house and you know, like

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in my mind, you know, when I went through my divorce, the thing that crushed me the

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most is I worked so hard to have a family. I took care of my stepson and other, you know,

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other people's children. I mean, I did everything to make it work. And so when that didn't man,

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I just was shattered. And because I wasn't healthy, um, the idea of marriage and family

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and that fantasy that I build up in my mind about what it was going to look like, I just

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got caught so far up in all the things that he

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saying and doing. So texting me nonstop, there's so many things, just sending me all kinds of stuff,

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but literally y'all after the first three weeks, all that stopped. The texting was still very

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excessive, but all the very like going out of his way to do nice things for me, literally that all

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stopped. And everybody's different. Some people can, you know, kind of keep that pattern up for

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longer, but some people can't. But as far as the trauma bonding goes, you know, I would say to you

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all, you know, really heed the advice of what Jackie is saying and what the team is telling

357
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you. Like we are saying these things because we've, we've learned through mistakes. We've

358
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learned through knowledge, keep your first couple conversations and dates light and fun. You're

359
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still have so many ways you can get to know people. I used questions like even the first

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time I asked Brian, I wanted to know a little bit about just his relationship with the Lord

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without coming on so strong. I just said like, and I already knew he loved the Lord at this point

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because it was obvious on his profile. I just asked him like, you know, if you had just a really great

363
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special day with the Lord, just you and the Lord one-on-one, what would that look like?

364
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And I just let him explain that. But a lot of my questions were fun and upbeat. And then the more

365
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we got to know each other, the more that we shared about things in our life. And you can, you know,

366
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you can talk about something with talking all the details about something. So I hope that's

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helpful for everyone. And this is just really important for, I was, I used to be anxious

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attachment. So that's why I kind of went right into that oversharing and then get really anxious

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if they didn't respond or if they didn't, you know, act a certain way and getting really fearful.

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And that really set me up for that love bombing situation as well. So the healthier I have become,

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I totally dated a whole different kind of guy that's, you know, that this last time around,

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like every guy went on a date with for the most part. I went on a date with one guy and I knew

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the first time we went on a date, like that, that would probably be a similar situation.

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So you'll start to navigate and understand and guys, the same goes for you. Here's the reality.

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I hope the guys haven't checked out on this. Y'all know some women can love bomb.

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And I know that there's some abusive women out there. My husband was in a marriage like that.

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So just know that we're here to support you, whether you're in the 18, 22, or in the ladies

378
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group you know, pain of brokenness when someone's unhealthy and they lure you in and unhealthy ways

379
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is, is tough, but you can overcome it. I've overcome it. So you can overcome that too.

380
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But that's kind of what was on my mind to share about it. I don't know. Do we want to open for

381
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questions or do we want to go right into letting someone get in the love seat? What do you think

382
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Renee? I know we've promised some folks to get into the love seat, so let's do that. And if we

383
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have time for questions at the end and you guys, as I want to say this to the men, do not hear love

384
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bomb and think that we don't want you to purposely pursue, because that is the difference with, I

385
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think what Brian did and what Rick is doing with me, he is purposely pursuing. So if I was going

386
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through avoidant attachment, I might think it was going too fast, but he is vet, he was vetting me

387
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and other women and he's bringing me before his life group. We do have purposeful conversations

388
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about what we want out of the future. I mean, he's 62, you know, he doesn't want to, you know,

389
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if I've got dreams that are going this way and his are going this way. So we have purposeful

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conversations and it's a purposeful pursuit. So I'm like, men don't hear this as we don't want

391
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you to pursue us. Right. When we hear love bombing, it's usually done in secret together

392
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alone. It's like, oh baby, it's just me and you. It's just me and you. A guy who's love bombing

393
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isn't going to like Rick taking me to his church to meet his people. That's like purposeful.

394
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So please look for purpose and don't be afraid to be purposeful. And if she's not biting,

395
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like if she's not interested, then at least, you know, that you are purposeful, you pursued,

396
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it's never bad. Now we just don't want you to chase and stalk either, but I just wanted to

397
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kind of lay that out. I love that. I was going to say one other thing. I think the difference also,

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when I look at that person and Brian is that there, the one person was healthy, Brian,

399
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and the other person wasn't. And so even the energy behind what was happening was different.

400
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So when Brian brought me flowers, I didn't feel like there was something attached.

401
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.560
to it that he wanted from me.

402
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Does that make sense?

403
00:30:04.280 --> 00:30:06.920
So that's one of the ways I also was able

404
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to separate the difference.

405
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Yeah, 100%.

406
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I mean, y'all, Brian lovingly

407
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and in a chivalrous and healthy way pursued me 100%.

408
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So men, it works.

409
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It works.

410
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It really does.

411
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Yeah.

412
00:30:23.140 --> 00:30:23.980
Awesome.

413
00:30:23.980 --> 00:30:26.040
I know, Jenny, I see you're on here.

414
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If you were willing,

415
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I know we promised you to get in the hot seat.

416
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See, Bethany, I don't know if you remember anybody else.

417
00:30:32.500 --> 00:30:34.940
It looks like Brooke said she really needs to get in too.

418
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So Jenny, are you willing to hop in and share?

419
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Because I know you left a message and I emailed you back.

420
00:30:41.940 --> 00:30:43.500
Yes.

421
00:30:43.500 --> 00:30:44.420
Okay, girl.

422
00:30:44.420 --> 00:30:47.700
I'm gonna, do you want me, should I pin her, Bethany?

423
00:30:47.700 --> 00:30:48.940
Or just leave her be?

424
00:30:48.940 --> 00:30:50.020
Yeah, I would.

425
00:30:50.020 --> 00:30:50.860
Okay.

426
00:30:50.860 --> 00:30:51.860
We're gonna pin you, girl.

427
00:30:51.860 --> 00:30:53.300
So when we pin somebody,

428
00:30:53.300 --> 00:30:55.020
you guys have to be in speaker view

429
00:30:55.020 --> 00:30:56.180
for you to actually see her.

430
00:30:56.180 --> 00:30:58.780
If you're still in gallery, you're not gonna notice that.

431
00:30:58.780 --> 00:30:59.620
Okay, girl.

432
00:30:59.620 --> 00:31:01.580
You got the hot, you got the love seat.

433
00:31:01.580 --> 00:31:02.620
We see it, girl.

434
00:31:04.460 --> 00:31:06.380
Give everybody a quick summary of it

435
00:31:06.380 --> 00:31:08.980
and then let us know how we can help you.

436
00:31:08.980 --> 00:31:09.820
Yeah.

437
00:31:09.820 --> 00:31:13.340
So my post said that there's this guy I've been talking to.

438
00:31:13.340 --> 00:31:15.080
We met on a Christian dating app.

439
00:31:16.020 --> 00:31:18.180
I've been talking to him for about a week and a half,

440
00:31:18.180 --> 00:31:20.280
like a little bit before Valentine's Day.

441
00:31:21.620 --> 00:31:26.620
We did two phone calls and texting.

442
00:31:26.620 --> 00:31:31.260
I have definitely noticed since the attachment class

443
00:31:31.260 --> 00:31:33.540
that Jackie did, I am anxious attachment.

444
00:31:33.540 --> 00:31:35.500
I'm very like, I'm becoming more self-aware.

445
00:31:35.500 --> 00:31:38.660
I'm seeing it like in my interactions with him.

446
00:31:38.660 --> 00:31:40.340
So I am glad I'm more aware, I guess.

447
00:31:40.340 --> 00:31:45.340
But, and then we were doing the app Marco Polo,

448
00:31:45.380 --> 00:31:48.220
which is just, you send video, text messages,

449
00:31:48.220 --> 00:31:49.100
like little short videos.

450
00:31:49.100 --> 00:31:52.860
I was sharing like, hey, I did this today, blah, blah, blah.

451
00:31:52.860 --> 00:31:54.020
Little clips back and forth.

452
00:31:54.020 --> 00:31:57.220
And then we had our first date last night.

453
00:31:57.220 --> 00:31:58.220
And I guess I posted,

454
00:31:58.220 --> 00:32:00.100
I'm feeling a little bit better about it now.

455
00:32:00.100 --> 00:32:04.180
But when I posted, I was like just really bummed

456
00:32:04.180 --> 00:32:05.760
because I was disappointed.

457
00:32:05.760 --> 00:32:09.140
And I had built this guy up a little bit more in my head,

458
00:32:09.140 --> 00:32:10.600
kind of like what Bethany was talking about.

459
00:32:10.600 --> 00:32:14.140
Like I definitely went on like, you know, like,

460
00:32:14.140 --> 00:32:16.100
I mean, the other day I was like

461
00:32:16.100 --> 00:32:17.500
creating a wedding playlist.

462
00:32:17.500 --> 00:32:19.880
It's kind of embarrassing, not necessarily like for him,

463
00:32:19.880 --> 00:32:21.940
but I was just like, oh my goodness, like it could happen.

464
00:32:21.940 --> 00:32:24.220
You know, so I was like up here.

465
00:32:24.220 --> 00:32:25.220
And then like, after the date,

466
00:32:25.220 --> 00:32:28.380
I was like way like reality hit me in that,

467
00:32:28.380 --> 00:32:30.080
like, I don't really know him

468
00:32:30.080 --> 00:32:31.260
and I don't know if I like him.

469
00:32:31.260 --> 00:32:34.460
I don't know if I like some of his mannerisms and like,

470
00:32:34.460 --> 00:32:37.160
so I guess I don't really know how to word my question,

471
00:32:37.160 --> 00:32:41.500
but yeah, I don't, I'm not sure.

472
00:32:41.500 --> 00:32:42.740
Well, I'm gonna, I'll jump in

473
00:32:42.740 --> 00:32:44.620
and then I'll see if Bethany has anything for you.

474
00:32:44.620 --> 00:32:47.340
So the first thing that you did that you owned,

475
00:32:47.340 --> 00:32:49.220
this is what we have to be careful of

476
00:32:49.220 --> 00:32:51.260
when we talk digitally for a while,

477
00:32:51.300 --> 00:32:55.140
is that we set up a version of who they think they are

478
00:32:55.140 --> 00:32:58.660
and we kind of get ahead of ourselves emotionally

479
00:32:58.660 --> 00:33:00.880
and we're doing the wedding list and everything.

480
00:33:00.880 --> 00:33:03.180
And so when the real person shows up,

481
00:33:03.180 --> 00:33:07.340
he could have been a great guy, but he's still human.

482
00:33:07.340 --> 00:33:11.260
And so his ear sticks out, he walks a little funny,

483
00:33:11.260 --> 00:33:14.100
maybe he has got a goofy mannerism.

484
00:33:14.100 --> 00:33:18.300
And so I would argue, none of those are reasons

485
00:33:18.300 --> 00:33:20.460
why you shouldn't talk to him again,

486
00:33:20.500 --> 00:33:23.760
but it does help you know why Jackie always insists

487
00:33:23.760 --> 00:33:27.980
that in-person dates are so important to kind of,

488
00:33:27.980 --> 00:33:29.940
and then just as this is the reminder

489
00:33:29.940 --> 00:33:32.020
of level two discovery dating is,

490
00:33:32.020 --> 00:33:35.700
you don't have to decide today if he's your guy or not.

491
00:33:35.700 --> 00:33:36.540
You don't.

492
00:33:36.540 --> 00:33:39.500
Now, like at my age,

493
00:33:39.500 --> 00:33:42.160
chances are that I'm gonna be meeting a guy

494
00:33:42.160 --> 00:33:43.160
who's been divorced

495
00:33:43.160 --> 00:33:45.120
and he's got some stuff in his background.

496
00:33:45.120 --> 00:33:47.140
So I know you mentioned in the Facebook page

497
00:33:47.140 --> 00:33:48.660
some of his background,

498
00:33:48.660 --> 00:33:53.660
but if that doesn't define his present and where he's going,

499
00:33:54.200 --> 00:33:55.620
then it doesn't matter.

500
00:33:55.620 --> 00:33:57.020
And so, but you still don't,

501
00:33:57.020 --> 00:33:59.220
you still have so many unknowns,

502
00:33:59.220 --> 00:34:02.020
but I feel like if you, I would say,

503
00:34:02.020 --> 00:34:04.020
did you enjoy his company?

504
00:34:04.020 --> 00:34:06.940
Did you leave wanting to know more about him?

505
00:34:06.940 --> 00:34:08.780
Did you, or are you,

506
00:34:08.780 --> 00:34:11.560
and the things that you didn't like about them,

507
00:34:11.560 --> 00:34:13.139
are they superficial?

508
00:34:13.139 --> 00:34:14.800
Are those God defended things?

509
00:34:14.800 --> 00:34:17.780
Are those, you know, self defended things?

510
00:34:17.780 --> 00:34:19.620
So those are the things that I'm coming out to as,

511
00:34:19.620 --> 00:34:21.340
A, this was a good lesson for you

512
00:34:21.340 --> 00:34:23.320
to not get ahead emotionally,

513
00:34:23.320 --> 00:34:25.820
because that part was on you, not on him.

514
00:34:25.820 --> 00:34:28.780
And then, you know, you don't have,

515
00:34:28.780 --> 00:34:31.100
the freedom is you don't have to decide.

516
00:34:31.100 --> 00:34:34.739
You can just keep meeting him in person.

517
00:34:34.739 --> 00:34:37.580
So that's my advice is you don't have to decide.

518
00:34:37.580 --> 00:34:39.179
You're just in level two.

519
00:34:39.179 --> 00:34:40.659
If you really enjoyed his company,

520
00:34:40.659 --> 00:34:42.520
keep talking to him and let his,

521
00:34:42.520 --> 00:34:45.500
let time reveal who he is today.

522
00:34:45.500 --> 00:34:48.060
Bethany, you want to add anything to that?

523
00:34:48.060 --> 00:34:49.179
Man, that was good.

524
00:34:49.179 --> 00:34:51.540
I probably couldn't have said it any better.

525
00:34:51.540 --> 00:34:54.100
I think the time, it's a yes until it's a no.

526
00:34:54.100 --> 00:34:56.100
Jackie talks about it all the time.

527
00:34:56.100 --> 00:34:59.580
And I think it is important to really consider

528
00:34:59.580 --> 00:35:00.580
when we're looking.

529
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.760
looking at men or women that we're dating, you know, are the things that we're like,

530
00:35:04.760 --> 00:35:09.320
Oh my gosh, do I like this? Do I not? Like, are those the things that align with, you

531
00:35:09.320 --> 00:35:15.120
know, what we're saying we want from the Lord? Or is it our gut showing us something about,

532
00:35:15.120 --> 00:35:19.160
you know, like, and we can't always trust our gut until we're healthy. Right. You know,

533
00:35:19.160 --> 00:35:23.840
so that's kind of the thing. Some of you guys are, are learning and you're growing those

534
00:35:23.840 --> 00:35:31.160
muscles on how to discern well. Um, and so I think the other thing just to help yourself

535
00:35:31.160 --> 00:35:36.440
in the future, this is something, if you want to make a playlist for your wedding one day,

536
00:35:36.440 --> 00:35:41.680
do it for you right now. Don't do it thinking about any certain guy right now. And when

537
00:35:41.680 --> 00:35:45.340
you meet your spirit mate, maybe you guys will have songs that you choose together as

538
00:35:45.340 --> 00:35:52.040
well. But I think just from my perspective, when I was making wedding album, things of

539
00:35:52.040 --> 00:35:58.360
what I wanted, I wasn't thinking about a person at the time. I just was thinking, what

540
00:35:58.360 --> 00:36:04.460
does Bethany want? Cause in my background, honestly, I got so caught up in what the other

541
00:36:04.460 --> 00:36:12.000
men wanted that I lost myself. So taking the time to think about what did I want? And when

542
00:36:12.000 --> 00:36:16.600
I got together with, with Brian and we decided we were going to get married, then we talked,

543
00:36:16.600 --> 00:36:20.240
do we both want those things? Is it okay if I want certain things and he wants certain

544
00:36:20.240 --> 00:36:25.440
things at our wedding and that kind of thing. But like, it's, it's healthy for you, any

545
00:36:25.440 --> 00:36:32.280
of you to think about what do you want? Um, and let God meet you there in this season

546
00:36:32.280 --> 00:36:37.800
until you have your for sure person that you're moving forward with. Yeah. So that you don't

547
00:36:37.800 --> 00:36:42.680
shut down that dreaming because I, I understand how it feels like you want to dream you all.

548
00:36:42.680 --> 00:36:47.240
It's good to dream it is. Um, and so don't feel like you have to completely shut that

549
00:36:47.240 --> 00:36:52.840
down. Yeah. And the other good thing that somebody brought up in the chat, I think Jenny,

550
00:36:52.840 --> 00:36:57.920
you admitted that you guys Marco Polo'd a bit. Okay. So if you don't, which is hard

551
00:36:57.920 --> 00:37:03.000
to, I mean, it's like, right. So I will say, I don't think it's somebody I will caution

552
00:37:03.000 --> 00:37:09.120
against Marco Polo as a form of video because I Marco Polo with a few ladies in this community.

553
00:37:09.120 --> 00:37:12.500
And so I know what it's like to Marco Polo when you're doing Marco Polo, you're looking

554
00:37:12.500 --> 00:37:18.980
at yourself. You're not talking to the person. And so you're not seeing body language. You're

555
00:37:18.980 --> 00:37:24.060
not seeing tone inflection by language bouncing. You almost are performing for yourself. Cause

556
00:37:24.060 --> 00:37:29.220
like in, and I joke around about it. Like we Marco Polo and we're like fixing our hair

557
00:37:29.220 --> 00:37:34.660
and we're flipping it around because we're just staring at ourselves while we're talking.

558
00:37:34.660 --> 00:37:41.460
And so it is not a realistic version of the person that's going to show up. So I think

559
00:37:41.460 --> 00:37:48.020
Marco Polo is a great form of communication. I think it's not a great way to online date

560
00:37:48.020 --> 00:37:54.300
because you're both performing. It's just, you're seeing yourself in the camera. You

561
00:37:54.300 --> 00:38:00.820
can help yourself and it just happens. So thank you so much for being brave, Jenny.

562
00:38:00.820 --> 00:38:03.700
I'm really proud of you. I know you have one more quick question.

563
00:38:03.700 --> 00:38:08.500
One more just about maturity. That's something that I want. I don't understand. Cause I know

564
00:38:08.500 --> 00:38:13.660
there's masculine mature and marriage minded. Like what does maturity look like? I guess

565
00:38:13.660 --> 00:38:19.260
cause I don't know if he's mature, like emotionally and well, and it's interesting because the

566
00:38:19.260 --> 00:38:23.980
phrase that Jackie always says, and I really like this is, are you both in the same season

567
00:38:23.980 --> 00:38:30.940
of life? Because, um, people sometimes get caught up on age. So when I think of mature

568
00:38:30.940 --> 00:38:36.220
mature for a 25 year old is going to look different than maturity for a 55 year old.

569
00:38:36.220 --> 00:38:42.140
And so you have to kind of see where you're paced in your maturity level on how, where,

570
00:38:42.140 --> 00:38:46.860
where are you with your time, your resources, your finances, things that you value, things

571
00:38:46.860 --> 00:38:52.940
that are important to you. So I don't want to say he's immature because maybe for where

572
00:38:52.940 --> 00:38:58.580
he is in his season of life, he or she is mature. Um, and Bethany, when you want to

573
00:38:58.580 --> 00:39:03.100
add to that, cause I think that is a great question, but I think maturity is adult. Like

574
00:39:03.220 --> 00:39:07.900
it is that, that you have, that you're not just here to play games. We're not just dating

575
00:39:07.900 --> 00:39:13.940
for fun, but that we're dating with purpose and intention. But beyond that maturity might

576
00:39:13.940 --> 00:39:17.820
look different depending on the decade that we're in and the season of life that we're

577
00:39:17.820 --> 00:39:24.020
in. Do you want to add to that, Bethany? Yeah. I like that you ended with the fact of consider

578
00:39:24.020 --> 00:39:30.780
what age bracket kind of season of life you all are in. Cause mature for me at 45 looks

579
00:39:30.820 --> 00:39:35.980
way different than mature for someone in their thirties might look, I think to me,

580
00:39:36.020 --> 00:39:44.660
um, are they moving their life forward? That would be a huge one for me. So I think anyone

581
00:39:44.660 --> 00:39:52.180
that has the desire in his taking action on moving their life forward, whether it's, um,

582
00:39:52.260 --> 00:39:58.460
career or spiritual, hopefully both. Um, and it doesn't mean they have to be taking these

583
00:39:58.460 --> 00:39:59.780
huge, massive leaps, but.

584
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.400
Anybody that is moving forward is showing a sign of maturity

585
00:40:03.400 --> 00:40:06.120
because that's actually a sign of wisdom, right?

586
00:40:07.640 --> 00:40:11.240
And I think also like maturity can also be

587
00:40:11.240 --> 00:40:14.760
how they respond in situations from my perspective.

588
00:40:14.760 --> 00:40:18.240
That's a huge thing for me and it wasn't in the past.

589
00:40:18.240 --> 00:40:21.200
So when I went on dates this last time around

590
00:40:21.200 --> 00:40:24.740
before, when Brian and I, that timeframe we met,

591
00:40:25.680 --> 00:40:28.400
I was watching more, not like in a creepy

592
00:40:28.400 --> 00:40:30.880
or like condescending way, but I was watching more

593
00:40:30.880 --> 00:40:33.200
how the guys presented themselves.

594
00:40:33.200 --> 00:40:34.620
How did they, like I said,

595
00:40:34.620 --> 00:40:36.500
like how were they treating other people?

596
00:40:36.500 --> 00:40:38.000
How were they responding to me?

597
00:40:38.000 --> 00:40:40.800
Were they putting me down at all

598
00:40:40.800 --> 00:40:44.000
or even like using sarcasm to be funny,

599
00:40:44.000 --> 00:40:46.240
but it was actually a put down.

600
00:40:46.240 --> 00:40:49.560
Those things are not signs of maturity to me.

601
00:40:49.560 --> 00:40:54.120
And if you look at, this would be helpful for anybody too.

602
00:40:54.120 --> 00:40:56.200
If you want to ask the Lord even more

603
00:40:56.240 --> 00:40:57.560
about the maturity stuff,

604
00:40:58.520 --> 00:41:01.880
if you spend time reading Proverbs every day right now,

605
00:41:01.880 --> 00:41:04.560
I think that will be really helpful for you

606
00:41:04.560 --> 00:41:08.480
because Proverbs tells us what is wise, what isn't wise,

607
00:41:08.480 --> 00:41:10.760
like what do fools do, right?

608
00:41:10.760 --> 00:41:14.400
And so I think that'll be a huge help to anyone

609
00:41:14.400 --> 00:41:19.400
that's wanting to know what is mature and healthy look like.

610
00:41:19.460 --> 00:41:22.080
That'll be a great guide for you, yeah.

611
00:41:23.640 --> 00:41:24.960
That was good, that was good.

612
00:41:24.960 --> 00:41:26.640
Okay, I see we have a couple of hands up,

613
00:41:26.640 --> 00:41:28.320
but Brooke kind of jumped in.

614
00:41:28.320 --> 00:41:30.240
Are you still there, Brooke?

615
00:41:30.240 --> 00:41:31.840
Where are you, girl?

616
00:41:31.840 --> 00:41:35.000
You mentioned way early in the night that you wanted to go.

617
00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:36.520
Yeah, I'm here.

618
00:41:36.520 --> 00:41:37.360
Okay, good.

619
00:41:37.360 --> 00:41:39.080
So you start talking to the microphone.

620
00:41:39.080 --> 00:41:40.300
I can pin you now.

621
00:41:41.720 --> 00:41:43.500
Are y'all, are you ready?

622
00:41:43.500 --> 00:41:44.340
Yeah.

623
00:41:45.380 --> 00:41:48.080
Okay, so y'all probably already know about this,

624
00:41:48.080 --> 00:41:51.760
but short question, short, I'm trying to go into the bathroom

625
00:41:51.760 --> 00:41:52.840
so no one can hear me.

626
00:41:52.880 --> 00:41:57.320
So basically I'm from Dallas, okay?

627
00:41:57.320 --> 00:41:59.480
I moved out, so I was away from my friends and family

628
00:41:59.480 --> 00:42:02.720
to East Texas because I was in a level three relationship

629
00:42:02.720 --> 00:42:07.720
with a really, okay, they're blow drying.

630
00:42:07.980 --> 00:42:10.080
I'm gonna stay out here, I'm sorry.

631
00:42:10.080 --> 00:42:12.720
So I was in a level three relationship

632
00:42:12.720 --> 00:42:15.920
with somebody that moved me out here

633
00:42:15.920 --> 00:42:17.040
and I chose to go out there,

634
00:42:17.040 --> 00:42:19.440
but like he heard from the Lord that I was his wife.

635
00:42:19.440 --> 00:42:22.960
I heard from the Lord that he was my husband

636
00:42:22.960 --> 00:42:24.800
and I've gotten confirmation after confirmation

637
00:42:24.800 --> 00:42:25.620
after confirmation.

638
00:42:25.620 --> 00:42:27.440
Well, because of insecurities from my past

639
00:42:27.440 --> 00:42:30.340
that I was taken forever to do hard work on

640
00:42:30.340 --> 00:42:31.560
because I've had men look at porn,

641
00:42:31.560 --> 00:42:33.480
I've had men choose other women over me.

642
00:42:33.480 --> 00:42:36.520
This man, all he did was love me.

643
00:42:36.520 --> 00:42:38.080
He didn't do any of that.

644
00:42:38.080 --> 00:42:40.440
And I kept accusing him for six months

645
00:42:40.440 --> 00:42:43.280
over and over and over and over and over

646
00:42:43.280 --> 00:42:45.160
when he never did that.

647
00:42:45.160 --> 00:42:48.760
And he left me, but I'm taking responsibility

648
00:42:48.840 --> 00:42:49.660
for what I did.

649
00:42:49.660 --> 00:42:50.500
I know what I did wrong

650
00:42:50.500 --> 00:42:52.840
and I know that there's more hard work to be done.

651
00:42:52.840 --> 00:42:55.920
And I finally sought out help and found a good counselor

652
00:42:55.920 --> 00:42:58.640
because no place in Dallas would take my insurance.

653
00:42:58.640 --> 00:43:01.400
And everywhere out here in Tyler is taking my insurance.

654
00:43:01.400 --> 00:43:03.640
Hey, so let's get to your question, girl.

655
00:43:03.640 --> 00:43:05.440
I'm gonna have you loop into your question.

656
00:43:05.440 --> 00:43:08.960
My question is, I know what the Lord promised us.

657
00:43:08.960 --> 00:43:11.040
So is there any hope for restoration

658
00:43:11.040 --> 00:43:13.560
and is God withholding marriage from me?

659
00:43:13.560 --> 00:43:16.520
Because I feel like he's playing a cruel, sick joke on me.

660
00:43:16.520 --> 00:43:18.040
Those are my questions.

661
00:43:18.040 --> 00:43:19.200
Yeah.

662
00:43:19.200 --> 00:43:21.600
That sounds like old Brooke talking.

663
00:43:21.600 --> 00:43:24.800
So that doesn't sound like the healthy, heal, whole Brooke

664
00:43:24.800 --> 00:43:26.600
I heard for the longest time.

665
00:43:26.600 --> 00:43:27.640
So-

666
00:43:27.640 --> 00:43:28.520
It's an attack.

667
00:43:28.520 --> 00:43:29.600
It's a witchcraft attack.

668
00:43:29.600 --> 00:43:31.200
It is an attack, but-

669
00:43:31.200 --> 00:43:32.840
And so, so you know-

670
00:43:32.840 --> 00:43:34.320
Someone put a witchcraft attack on me

671
00:43:34.320 --> 00:43:35.160
that I don't want to see.

672
00:43:35.160 --> 00:43:36.480
Brooke, stop, stop.

673
00:43:36.480 --> 00:43:37.320
I'm gonna stop you

674
00:43:37.320 --> 00:43:38.960
because I'm just gonna rebuke what you're saying

675
00:43:38.960 --> 00:43:40.560
because that's not from God.

676
00:43:40.560 --> 00:43:43.600
God is not here to harm, to hurt,

677
00:43:43.600 --> 00:43:47.760
to play a joke on anybody.

678
00:43:47.840 --> 00:43:51.760
It sounds like you were still operating,

679
00:43:51.760 --> 00:43:53.240
you personally, you admitted

680
00:43:53.240 --> 00:43:54.720
that you were attacking him a lot

681
00:43:54.720 --> 00:43:55.800
and you were accusing him a lot.

682
00:43:55.800 --> 00:43:58.280
So that sounds like a lot of healing

683
00:43:58.280 --> 00:44:00.600
that you still needed to work on.

684
00:44:00.600 --> 00:44:04.080
And so him ending the relationship

685
00:44:04.080 --> 00:44:05.920
was safe for him at the moment.

686
00:44:05.920 --> 00:44:09.040
So the first and before we can worry about

687
00:44:09.040 --> 00:44:11.760
if this is your guy and who is your guy,

688
00:44:11.760 --> 00:44:13.240
you admitted to yourself,

689
00:44:13.240 --> 00:44:15.040
and you guys, this is for everybody.

690
00:44:15.040 --> 00:44:16.200
Jackie always says,

691
00:44:16.480 --> 00:44:18.520
hurt in relationship, healed in relationship.

692
00:44:18.520 --> 00:44:20.840
So this is a perfect example of,

693
00:44:20.840 --> 00:44:22.000
we think we're good,

694
00:44:22.000 --> 00:44:23.920
we think we've done the hard work

695
00:44:23.920 --> 00:44:25.640
and we've been re-triggered

696
00:44:25.640 --> 00:44:28.200
and our old stuff comes up.

697
00:44:28.200 --> 00:44:31.760
And so that, and so the lesson for you is,

698
00:44:31.760 --> 00:44:32.600
you know what?

699
00:44:32.600 --> 00:44:35.120
I'm not gonna decide if this guy's right for me.

700
00:44:35.120 --> 00:44:37.640
I'm not gonna decide if he's the person for me.

701
00:44:37.640 --> 00:44:39.520
Clearly stuff came up,

702
00:44:39.520 --> 00:44:41.360
that person's gone for now.

703
00:44:41.360 --> 00:44:43.240
So I've got to get back in with God

704
00:44:43.240 --> 00:44:46.280
to see what more healing I need to do

705
00:44:46.280 --> 00:44:49.760
and figure out what lies I'm still believing about myself.

706
00:44:51.040 --> 00:44:55.680
And if I purposed him for you,

707
00:44:55.680 --> 00:44:59.360
God will make a way for restoration to happen.

708
00:44:59.360 --> 00:45:00.200
But some.

709
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:08.800
Sometimes, sometimes, unfortunately, we learn through harmful and hurtful situations.

710
00:45:08.800 --> 00:45:15.140
And hopefully what you'll learn from this will grow you and move you forward.

711
00:45:15.140 --> 00:45:16.960
And so that's what we want for you, Brooke.

712
00:45:16.960 --> 00:45:18.520
We want to move you forward.

713
00:45:18.520 --> 00:45:25.280
So I only want this guy back in your life if it's forward, not back in the house.

714
00:45:25.280 --> 00:45:26.280
Okay.

715
00:45:26.280 --> 00:45:27.280
Okay.

716
00:45:27.280 --> 00:45:30.080
That's the last thing, because I don't want that to keep coming back in.

717
00:45:30.080 --> 00:45:33.160
I was told that it was a curse on me that I'd be single the rest of my life, but there's

718
00:45:33.160 --> 00:45:35.640
been voodoo and black magic done on me.

719
00:45:35.640 --> 00:45:38.840
I'm going to mute you, girl, because I've heard you say that and we've spoken against

720
00:45:38.840 --> 00:45:40.840
that, but go ahead, Bethany, go ahead and jump in.

721
00:45:40.840 --> 00:45:45.080
So I'm just going to speak to that because this seems to be a thing, and I want to make

722
00:45:45.080 --> 00:45:47.560
sure no one else gets scared about this.

723
00:45:47.560 --> 00:45:52.360
Y'all, if we are saved, we are covered by the blood of Jesus Christ.

724
00:45:52.360 --> 00:45:55.840
So yes, there is spiritual warfare, but here's the thing.

725
00:45:55.840 --> 00:46:02.200
In Jesus name, you can be delivered and broken free from anything that anybody ever, ever

726
00:46:02.200 --> 00:46:03.760
declares over you.

727
00:46:03.760 --> 00:46:09.120
So from this day forward, if you choose to lean into the blood of Jesus Christ and really

728
00:46:09.120 --> 00:46:14.520
lean into the direction that you're being given and receive the healing that's needed

729
00:46:14.520 --> 00:46:20.240
so you can move forward, I believe 100% you're going to walk out absolutely into freedom

730
00:46:20.240 --> 00:46:23.960
and nothing is going to hold you back, but you have to choose that.

731
00:46:23.960 --> 00:46:28.000
So no matter what anybody has ever done in the past, those things are covered by the

732
00:46:28.000 --> 00:46:31.480
blood of Jesus as soon as you turn them over to him in Jesus name.

733
00:46:31.480 --> 00:46:33.280
So that's, that's that.

734
00:46:33.280 --> 00:46:34.280
Amen.

735
00:46:34.280 --> 00:46:35.280
Amen.

736
00:46:35.280 --> 00:46:36.280
Amen.

737
00:46:36.280 --> 00:46:37.280
Amen.

738
00:46:37.280 --> 00:46:38.280
Thank you for doing that, Bethany.

739
00:46:38.280 --> 00:46:40.280
Stacey, you want to hop in?

740
00:46:40.280 --> 00:46:46.800
Stacey McVean, are you there, girl?

741
00:46:46.800 --> 00:46:47.800
I am.

742
00:46:47.800 --> 00:46:52.600
I am not feeling well, so I'm going to stay on no video.

743
00:46:52.600 --> 00:46:53.600
Okay.

744
00:46:54.600 --> 00:47:02.080
So I am currently on Bumble and Facebook dating and I connected with a man and we started

745
00:47:02.080 --> 00:47:03.800
talking back and forth.

746
00:47:03.800 --> 00:47:09.520
And one of the questions, they have questions now on Bumble that, you know, you can ask

747
00:47:09.520 --> 00:47:13.600
and his question was, what, what things matter to you?

748
00:47:13.600 --> 00:47:19.480
So I answered it, you know, it matters to me, my relationship with Jesus, family, being

749
00:47:19.480 --> 00:47:22.480
planted in a church, all of those different things.

750
00:47:22.480 --> 00:47:24.520
And we, we went back and forth.

751
00:47:24.520 --> 00:47:30.240
And so then his response was, I am currently not involved in a church.

752
00:47:30.240 --> 00:47:33.720
And so I said, well, I'm just curious as to why.

753
00:47:33.720 --> 00:47:37.960
And his response was, well, you know, I'm just kind of doing my thing right now.

754
00:47:37.960 --> 00:47:40.920
I don't, I don't have an answer for that.

755
00:47:40.920 --> 00:47:43.080
Like he didn't have a solid answer.

756
00:47:43.080 --> 00:47:49.880
So and then he said, but I can see that you're a woman of God and, you know, I'm convicted

757
00:47:49.880 --> 00:47:52.460
not in a bad way, but I'm convicted.

758
00:47:52.460 --> 00:47:53.460
So then that was it.

759
00:47:53.460 --> 00:47:56.160
He didn't share anything more.

760
00:47:56.160 --> 00:48:02.620
So I, I know that it's a yes and tell it to no, but you know, let's just be honest.

761
00:48:02.620 --> 00:48:05.820
That's my lifestyle is being planted in a church.

762
00:48:05.820 --> 00:48:11.060
It has been for the past 25 years, planted in a church involved, serving, tithing, all

763
00:48:11.060 --> 00:48:12.220
that.

764
00:48:12.220 --> 00:48:18.100
And so I'm like, should I even do a low stakes, hey, you want to meet up for a coffee or should

765
00:48:18.100 --> 00:48:19.940
I just leave it alone?

766
00:48:19.940 --> 00:48:22.380
Because he doesn't really have an answer.

767
00:48:22.380 --> 00:48:23.380
Yeah.

768
00:48:23.380 --> 00:48:27.220
So let me give you another way to ask that question because this might be helpful for

769
00:48:27.220 --> 00:48:28.660
somebody else.

770
00:48:28.660 --> 00:48:34.480
I try not to ask questions that start with why, why usually put people on a defensive.

771
00:48:34.480 --> 00:48:37.860
You started with a really good word, which was curious.

772
00:48:37.860 --> 00:48:42.060
So how I've asked that question is, wow, I'm curious.

773
00:48:42.060 --> 00:48:43.700
Tell me more about that.

774
00:48:43.700 --> 00:48:45.220
Tell me more.

775
00:48:45.220 --> 00:48:50.000
How does faith show up for you in any other way in your life?

776
00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:53.100
You know, and so you just leave it open ended.

777
00:48:53.100 --> 00:48:55.060
So I'm curious.

778
00:48:55.060 --> 00:48:56.660
Tell me more about that.

779
00:48:56.660 --> 00:48:58.860
Does faith show up in your life?

780
00:48:58.860 --> 00:49:03.780
And if he doesn't give you any, and I know you, Stacy, if he gives you no indication

781
00:49:03.780 --> 00:49:07.540
that faith shows up in his life, he's not your guy.

782
00:49:07.540 --> 00:49:12.140
Like cause I've went on a few coffee dates with guys literally like less than a month

783
00:49:12.140 --> 00:49:13.420
ago.

784
00:49:13.420 --> 00:49:17.100
And I make, they said something about church and I'm like, well, tell me more about that.

785
00:49:17.100 --> 00:49:19.300
And like, just in their body language, I'm like, this is silly.

786
00:49:19.300 --> 00:49:21.100
I'm in full-time ministry.

787
00:49:21.100 --> 00:49:25.580
God is not going to give me somebody who's got nothing to say about God.

788
00:49:25.580 --> 00:49:29.820
And I would believe that that is true for you, Stacy, but that that's, so he's probably,

789
00:49:29.820 --> 00:49:34.540
so I don't know what, how else he has answered faith conversations.

790
00:49:34.540 --> 00:49:39.880
And so I don't know if you know enough to make this decision about that.

791
00:49:39.880 --> 00:49:44.440
So if he's still talking to you, I would say if he's still talking to you and he asks

792
00:49:44.440 --> 00:49:50.040
you out and it's local and easy and it won't cost you anything to do it, you might want

793
00:49:50.040 --> 00:49:54.640
to have a conversation, but now I've given you maybe a new way to unpack a little bit

794
00:49:54.640 --> 00:49:59.960
more how faith might show up for him as opposed to just saying, well, why?

795
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.640
As we know, faith shows up differently for different people.

796
00:50:04.640 --> 00:50:07.480
Yeah, so can you just repeat that question

797
00:50:07.480 --> 00:50:08.760
because I'm writing it down, girl.

798
00:50:08.760 --> 00:50:09.960
Oh, you bet.

799
00:50:09.960 --> 00:50:14.040
Hey, I'm so curious, tell me more about that.

800
00:50:14.040 --> 00:50:18.000
I'm curious, tell me more, because it invites them in.

801
00:50:18.000 --> 00:50:19.480
And then you might want to just say,

802
00:50:19.480 --> 00:50:22.960
so tell me how else might faith show up in your life?

803
00:50:24.680 --> 00:50:26.640
How else might faith show up in your life?

804
00:50:26.640 --> 00:50:29.200
And then you haven't even said God or Jesus yet.

805
00:50:29.200 --> 00:50:30.720
Like you're just, you know,

806
00:50:30.720 --> 00:50:32.200
you're just kind of opening the door.

807
00:50:32.200 --> 00:50:34.840
I'm curious, tell me more about that.

808
00:50:34.840 --> 00:50:36.600
Cause that's actually inviting them in

809
00:50:36.600 --> 00:50:40.000
as opposed to pushing them away with the why.

810
00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:40.840
Why?

811
00:50:41.720 --> 00:50:42.560
Why?

812
00:50:42.560 --> 00:50:44.120
Why such a...

813
00:50:44.120 --> 00:50:45.000
Girl, we all do it.

814
00:50:45.000 --> 00:50:47.240
Like I'm not sitting here telling you like I haven't done it.

815
00:50:47.240 --> 00:50:48.080
Oh, I know.

816
00:50:48.080 --> 00:50:50.720
I've done it all wrong first, that's I promise.

817
00:50:50.720 --> 00:50:51.600
Thank you.

818
00:50:51.600 --> 00:50:53.120
You bet, sweetie.

819
00:50:53.120 --> 00:50:55.400
Laura, I know you've been waiting for a bit too.

820
00:50:55.400 --> 00:50:56.240
Go girl.

821
00:50:59.800 --> 00:51:00.640
Hey.

822
00:51:05.160 --> 00:51:09.800
I've been kind of on a roller coaster, as you well know,

823
00:51:09.800 --> 00:51:12.760
with this whole dating app thing.

824
00:51:13.600 --> 00:51:16.480
Haven't gotten anywhere with anyone.

825
00:51:16.480 --> 00:51:19.000
And I kind of gave up for a little bit.

826
00:51:19.000 --> 00:51:22.320
And then I was like, okay, I'm going to try this again.

827
00:51:22.320 --> 00:51:24.480
And so I started talking to somebody

828
00:51:24.480 --> 00:51:26.480
on the Facebook dating app,

829
00:51:26.480 --> 00:51:28.640
cause I put that on pause.

830
00:51:28.960 --> 00:51:32.560
So I was like, okay, I'm going to try this again

831
00:51:32.560 --> 00:51:34.400
with a more open mind.

832
00:51:34.400 --> 00:51:37.400
And so I started talking to somebody

833
00:51:38.480 --> 00:51:41.880
and he said something about, you know,

834
00:51:41.880 --> 00:51:45.280
are you, I was like, I'm ready for Friday

835
00:51:46.640 --> 00:51:48.480
cause I don't work weekends.

836
00:51:48.480 --> 00:51:50.560
And he's like, oh, do you not work weekends?

837
00:51:50.560 --> 00:51:53.080
I said, no, I work at a preschool.

838
00:51:53.080 --> 00:51:54.320
I didn't say what preschool?

839
00:51:54.320 --> 00:51:56.280
I just said, I work at a preschool.

840
00:51:56.400 --> 00:51:59.400
And so I was like, okay, I'm ready for Friday.

841
00:51:59.400 --> 00:52:02.400
And he was like, oh, do you like kids?

842
00:52:02.400 --> 00:52:06.800
And I'm like, yeah, he's, cause that's really important

843
00:52:06.800 --> 00:52:09.480
cause I guess he has kids.

844
00:52:09.480 --> 00:52:12.080
And so I said, yes, I do.

845
00:52:12.080 --> 00:52:14.760
I help out at my church once a month

846
00:52:15.800 --> 00:52:18.800
with the children's ministry.

847
00:52:18.800 --> 00:52:23.320
And then he said, well, I was kind of worried

848
00:52:23.320 --> 00:52:26.480
because on your profile, it says you don't have kids.

849
00:52:26.480 --> 00:52:28.600
And that's kind of important to me.

850
00:52:28.600 --> 00:52:33.600
And, you know, I want to have kids,

851
00:52:33.720 --> 00:52:35.800
more kids and all this.

852
00:52:35.800 --> 00:52:40.480
And so I didn't respond because I don't know how to respond

853
00:52:40.480 --> 00:52:43.120
without getting too beat too fast.

854
00:52:43.120 --> 00:52:44.000
You know what I'm saying?

855
00:52:44.000 --> 00:52:46.800
Like, how do I, I feel like he's saying

856
00:52:46.800 --> 00:52:49.160
it's a deal breaker if I don't.

857
00:52:49.160 --> 00:52:51.920
I mean, I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing,

858
00:52:51.960 --> 00:52:54.920
working where I work, if I didn't like kids.

859
00:52:54.920 --> 00:52:57.000
Right, but he doesn't know all that yet, Laura.

860
00:52:57.000 --> 00:52:58.480
So you know what I'm saying?

861
00:52:58.480 --> 00:53:01.920
And so I, again, let's just give him some grace.

862
00:53:01.920 --> 00:53:04.760
Like he's got kids and I will say this

863
00:53:04.760 --> 00:53:08.280
and I'm learning this a lot because I've never been married

864
00:53:08.280 --> 00:53:09.520
and I don't have kids.

865
00:53:09.520 --> 00:53:13.760
And so for some guys who are dads,

866
00:53:13.760 --> 00:53:15.400
that makes them really nervous.

867
00:53:15.400 --> 00:53:17.400
Cause they're worried that we don't have practice

868
00:53:17.400 --> 00:53:19.240
with children, we don't want children,

869
00:53:19.240 --> 00:53:20.800
we can't be friends with them.

870
00:53:20.840 --> 00:53:23.560
So I would say just cut him some grace about that.

871
00:53:23.560 --> 00:53:25.720
Like, don't get defensive about it.

872
00:53:25.720 --> 00:53:27.520
And just be like, yeah, I really love kids.

873
00:53:27.520 --> 00:53:30.320
You know, that's, you know, that I'm glad that you asked

874
00:53:30.320 --> 00:53:32.800
and I care and I care about kids too.

875
00:53:32.800 --> 00:53:34.520
You know, let's keep talking about other stuff.

876
00:53:34.520 --> 00:53:38.160
So I think it's okay that he asked about kids.

877
00:53:38.160 --> 00:53:39.760
It's important to him.

878
00:53:39.760 --> 00:53:42.360
Dads are really protective of their children.

879
00:53:42.360 --> 00:53:43.800
And so just keep talking to them,

880
00:53:43.800 --> 00:53:47.160
just keep talking to them, get that in-person date.

881
00:53:47.160 --> 00:53:49.200
And you can see if you guys have like good

882
00:53:49.200 --> 00:53:51.360
hanging out chemistry.

883
00:53:51.360 --> 00:53:52.840
You got this girl, you got it.

884
00:53:52.840 --> 00:53:53.880
Yeah.

885
00:53:53.880 --> 00:53:57.840
I mean, and Bethany, you want to add anything?

886
00:53:57.840 --> 00:53:59.280
Are you good with that answer for now?

887
00:53:59.280 --> 00:54:00.640
That was, that was perfect.

888
00:54:00.640 --> 00:54:01.520
That was awesome.

889
00:54:01.520 --> 00:54:02.360
Yep. Great.

890
00:54:03.560 --> 00:54:04.400
Charles.

891
00:54:04.400 --> 00:54:06.280
Yeah, I was just about to say that.

892
00:54:06.280 --> 00:54:08.040
I'm very excited to get a guy here.

893
00:54:08.040 --> 00:54:09.880
So Charles, you are up and then Sherry,

894
00:54:09.880 --> 00:54:11.080
I will come back to you.

895
00:54:12.880 --> 00:54:13.720
Thank you.

896
00:54:14.760 --> 00:54:18.280
So I have this girl I met at work

897
00:54:18.280 --> 00:54:22.200
that we've, every time we talk, we talk talk.

898
00:54:22.200 --> 00:54:24.640
And it's, we have this chemistry

899
00:54:24.640 --> 00:54:27.960
that I haven't had with anyone in a while.

900
00:54:29.120 --> 00:54:32.000
And she dropped the hanky quite a few times.

901
00:54:32.000 --> 00:54:37.000
And I, there were times where I was about to ask her,

902
00:54:37.880 --> 00:54:40.640
ask her for her phone number

903
00:54:40.640 --> 00:54:43.440
or to go get a coffee date or something.

904
00:54:43.440 --> 00:54:47.400
But then I got, I get mixed signals.

905
00:54:47.400 --> 00:54:51.360
Like, I don't know if she's actually in a relationship.

906
00:54:53.280 --> 00:54:58.280
I, I asked somebody that I know she's friends with

907
00:54:58.640 --> 00:54:59.480
on Facebook.

908
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:06.560
that I talked to, like, and they said they thought she was, but every time I

909
00:55:06.560 --> 00:55:11.440
talked to her, she never once mentions any type of men in her life other than

910
00:55:11.440 --> 00:55:12.000
her father.

911
00:55:12.480 --> 00:55:18.520
So completely avoiding like that, like, it's very up in the air, like whether

912
00:55:18.520 --> 00:55:21.960
or not she's even single, but I find her very interesting.

913
00:55:22.360 --> 00:55:23.800
Um, but the thing is,

914
00:55:24.040 --> 00:55:25.480
would you want to go out with her?

915
00:55:25.520 --> 00:55:26.560
Would you want to go out?

916
00:55:27.080 --> 00:55:27.480
Yeah.

917
00:55:27.640 --> 00:55:28.000
Yeah.

918
00:55:28.000 --> 00:55:32.080
But I don't know if she's a Christian, like, how do you, when do I ask?

919
00:55:33.200 --> 00:55:37.000
Well, again, you know, faith questions are really hard, you know, as Jackie

920
00:55:37.000 --> 00:55:41.480
said, so let me give you two piece of advice about finding out if she's single

921
00:55:41.480 --> 00:55:43.880
or not and her intentions and then about the faith.

922
00:55:43.880 --> 00:55:46.600
So I'm at you guys, I'm, I'm 55.

923
00:55:46.640 --> 00:55:48.400
I'm all for ask for what you need.

924
00:55:48.400 --> 00:55:49.280
Bring clarity.

925
00:55:49.280 --> 00:55:50.680
Clarity is kindness.

926
00:55:51.120 --> 00:55:53.120
Clarity is kindness.

927
00:55:53.760 --> 00:55:57.800
And so it is okay for you to say, Hey, you seem like a great person.

928
00:55:57.800 --> 00:55:59.480
I know we know each other online.

929
00:55:59.720 --> 00:56:02.320
I certainly wouldn't want to pursue you.

930
00:56:02.320 --> 00:56:05.160
If you were in a relationship with somebody else, I would

931
00:56:05.160 --> 00:56:06.920
want to protect that relationship.

932
00:56:07.160 --> 00:56:10.760
So do you, are you willing to let me know if you're actually in an

933
00:56:10.760 --> 00:56:13.000
exclusive relationship with anybody else?

934
00:56:13.040 --> 00:56:14.600
You're not saying, are you dating other guys?

935
00:56:14.600 --> 00:56:15.520
Cause she might be.

936
00:56:16.160 --> 00:56:20.000
But I just need to make sure before we keep talking that you're

937
00:56:20.000 --> 00:56:21.760
not in an exclusive relationship.

938
00:56:21.760 --> 00:56:24.720
I really want to respect and honor if you are.

939
00:56:25.040 --> 00:56:29.240
So that would be the easiest way for you to find out if she's single.

940
00:56:29.560 --> 00:56:33.160
And then you can say like, Hey, would you be then if she says no, I'm totally

941
00:56:33.160 --> 00:56:36.560
single, Hey, would you be willing to go have coffee, then you go have coffee

942
00:56:36.560 --> 00:56:39.520
with her and see if you even like her before you even want to ask the faith

943
00:56:39.520 --> 00:56:39.880
question.

944
00:56:39.880 --> 00:56:41.720
And again, I go back to the people.

945
00:56:41.920 --> 00:56:44.880
I always go, Renee, how do you find out about their faith so fast?

946
00:56:45.320 --> 00:56:49.000
Well, you tell me what you asked me like, Hey, Renee, what do you like to do?

947
00:56:49.000 --> 00:56:52.560
And I named my faith as part of the seven things that are important to me.

948
00:56:52.720 --> 00:56:53.760
I like to go to the gym.

949
00:56:53.760 --> 00:56:54.880
I like to go to theater.

950
00:56:55.240 --> 00:56:58.760
You know, I'm really active in my church and I'm like, how about you?

951
00:56:59.040 --> 00:57:03.200
And if they, if it's not on their list of answers, I might say, well, so tell

952
00:57:03.200 --> 00:57:06.480
me a little bit more about the things that are important to you in your life

953
00:57:06.480 --> 00:57:08.120
right now that take up your time.

954
00:57:08.360 --> 00:57:12.120
That's the phrase I say, tell me about the things that are going on in your

955
00:57:12.120 --> 00:57:16.640
life that are important to you that take up your time, because if they have an

956
00:57:16.640 --> 00:57:19.640
active faith life, it's going to come out some way.

957
00:57:19.960 --> 00:57:20.840
I pray.

958
00:57:20.880 --> 00:57:21.880
I journal.

959
00:57:21.880 --> 00:57:23.120
I talk to God.

960
00:57:23.120 --> 00:57:28.640
I'm in a life group because then back to Stacy McVean's question, maybe she, he

961
00:57:28.640 --> 00:57:32.760
or she is not active in a church, but they are active in a life group and

962
00:57:32.760 --> 00:57:34.920
they're just in between churches right now.

963
00:57:35.800 --> 00:57:38.320
Um, thank you for writing all that stuff down, Aaron joy.

964
00:57:38.320 --> 00:57:39.000
You're so good.

965
00:57:39.560 --> 00:57:45.280
Um, so those are both ways for a, you to find out if she's seeing somebody.

966
00:57:45.520 --> 00:57:46.480
It's direct.

967
00:57:46.640 --> 00:57:49.480
It's like, Hey, I just want to make sure I'm honoring you and

968
00:57:49.480 --> 00:57:50.560
the guy you might be seeing.

969
00:57:50.600 --> 00:57:51.880
I just want to make sure it's okay.

970
00:57:53.880 --> 00:57:54.600
Does that help?

971
00:57:55.320 --> 00:57:55.760
Yes.

972
00:57:55.760 --> 00:57:56.040
Yeah.

973
00:57:56.040 --> 00:57:58.080
That brings, brings a lot of clarity to it.

974
00:57:58.560 --> 00:58:05.200
So if you know, they, they're going out with, with somebody to, for an activity,

975
00:58:05.200 --> 00:58:11.760
like a guy, um, is it okay to, like to still ask them to go out?

976
00:58:13.040 --> 00:58:15.800
That's why you asked her if that's why you specifically said, are

977
00:58:15.800 --> 00:58:17.600
you in an exclusive relationship?

978
00:58:17.600 --> 00:58:19.040
You didn't say, are you dating guys?

979
00:58:19.040 --> 00:58:21.320
Cause you still, that still won't give you the answer.

980
00:58:21.640 --> 00:58:25.040
You want to know if she's in a committed exclusive relationship, like, Hey,

981
00:58:25.240 --> 00:58:26.680
it's so fun talking to you.

982
00:58:26.680 --> 00:58:27.720
I really enjoy it.

983
00:58:28.000 --> 00:58:30.040
I just need to check myself first.

984
00:58:30.080 --> 00:58:32.320
Are you in an exclusive dating relationship?

985
00:58:32.320 --> 00:58:36.000
Because if you are, I want to honor that relationship with you and him.

986
00:58:36.000 --> 00:58:37.280
So that's how I would say it.

987
00:58:37.640 --> 00:58:39.080
Cause are you dating?

988
00:58:39.800 --> 00:58:43.040
She might be dating, but she still hasn't told you if it's exclusive or not.

989
00:58:43.040 --> 00:58:45.880
So go right there.

990
00:58:47.000 --> 00:58:50.920
And if it's still level two, then it's, she's still up for grabs.

991
00:58:51.520 --> 00:58:51.600
Yeah.

992
00:58:53.600 --> 00:58:54.480
Well, that's comforting.

993
00:58:54.640 --> 00:58:55.200
Thank you.

994
00:58:56.400 --> 00:58:57.000
You bet.

995
00:58:57.040 --> 00:58:57.480
Awesome.

996
00:58:57.480 --> 00:58:58.080
That was fun.

997
00:58:58.080 --> 00:58:58.360
Thanks.

998
00:58:58.480 --> 00:58:59.560
Thank you so much, Charles.

999
00:58:59.560 --> 00:59:00.280
I appreciate it.

1000
00:59:00.320 --> 00:59:01.640
All right, Sherry, you're up.

1001
00:59:03.600 --> 00:59:03.960
Okay.

1002
00:59:04.360 --> 00:59:05.120
So.

1003
00:59:06.320 --> 00:59:09.880
Tried to do the dating apps again through the holidays.

1004
00:59:10.640 --> 00:59:12.440
I just don't have grace for it.

1005
00:59:12.440 --> 00:59:16.800
So stopped, decided like Jackie said, this is the year of in-person.

1006
00:59:17.760 --> 00:59:23.440
So last weekend I was invited to a mixer of four men and four

1007
00:59:23.440 --> 00:59:27.520
women, uh, hosted by a gal here.

1008
00:59:28.160 --> 00:59:29.240
It was a lot of fun.

1009
00:59:30.440 --> 00:59:33.440
It got me out of my comfort zone a little bit.

1010
00:59:34.080 --> 00:59:44.240
Three were definitely no's one was maybe a slight, maybe, but when it came time

1011
00:59:44.240 --> 00:59:52.640
to check back in with this gal, I said, no, and now this weekend I'm supposed

1012
00:59:52.640 --> 00:59:59.160
to go to a speed dating event and I.

1013
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:08.000
Ugh. How do I get past this gun-shy thing that's going on, lower the stakes?

1014
01:00:08.000 --> 01:00:15.200
It's like, because all I can do is swipe left. Everything. It's like, how do I get past it?

1015
01:00:17.200 --> 01:00:23.040
I mean, let's see. Well, let me just give you a big hug. I'm giving you a big hug,

1016
01:00:23.040 --> 01:00:26.240
Sheri. I'm giving you a big hug right now because I can feel like you need a big hug.

1017
01:00:26.240 --> 01:00:34.160
I'm giving you a hug. I never got to date, you guys. I was like the nerdy kid.

1018
01:00:35.200 --> 01:00:39.440
I know people are like, oh, you're such a cheerleader. But growing up, I was the nerdy

1019
01:00:39.440 --> 01:00:46.320
kid. I did not date. And so once I got away from thinking every Facebook or every online match

1020
01:00:46.320 --> 01:00:50.880
needed to be my husband, I was like, you know what, God? You're going to give me a season where

1021
01:00:50.880 --> 01:00:58.800
I get to meet a lot of people and I get to be a blessing and be blessed. And maybe one of those

1022
01:00:58.800 --> 01:01:06.880
might be my guy. And so maybe just think about the fact that you are a blessing, Sheri, and what an

1023
01:01:06.880 --> 01:01:12.480
honor for you to get to be in someone's presence and what a gift you can be to them. And so,

1024
01:01:12.480 --> 01:01:18.240
and maybe they have a word for you because I've gotten some beautiful words and blessings from

1025
01:01:18.240 --> 01:01:25.600
men that were so not my guy. But they said something to me that I needed that day. And so

1026
01:01:25.600 --> 01:01:30.400
maybe you're just like, how can I just go put the skin of Jesus on today in these dates? Like,

1027
01:01:30.400 --> 01:01:38.960
how can I just be kind? How can I receive kindness? And just consider that God has something

1028
01:01:38.960 --> 01:01:44.560
bigger for you in each of those settings. Like maybe you're on the speed date, but it's not going

1029
01:01:44.560 --> 01:01:48.960
to be anybody that you meet on the speed date, but it's the guy that you're going to bump into

1030
01:01:48.960 --> 01:01:52.960
in the parking lot because you parked your car in the wrong place and he's going to tell you

1031
01:01:52.960 --> 01:01:57.280
you parked in the wrong place. Or you're going to go get a coffee afterwards because you're

1032
01:01:57.280 --> 01:02:02.240
exhausted and you're like, I'm drained. I need to go get a coffee. And you meet the guy at the coffee

1033
01:02:02.240 --> 01:02:09.120
shop because you left the dating place. And so it's just kind of changing your posture going,

1034
01:02:09.120 --> 01:02:14.400
I don't need to know the outcome of this, but I'm just going to show up. I don't know.

1035
01:02:14.400 --> 01:02:18.640
I'm just spitballing here for you. I'm just, maybe that was Holy Spirit. Maybe it means

1036
01:02:18.640 --> 01:02:24.960
bupkis. Maybe Bethany has got a better word for you. So I just know because I've been doing it

1037
01:02:24.960 --> 01:02:34.160
for so long, I get the weariness that goes with it. And, you know, Rick came into my life in a

1038
01:02:34.160 --> 01:02:39.280
very weary season, the hardest season of my life. I just had a friend commit suicide two weeks ago.

1039
01:02:39.840 --> 01:02:45.040
I was probably emotionally at the worst place in my life when he showed up and

1040
01:02:46.960 --> 01:02:51.280
God will give you grace anyway. And so I don't know, I'm hoping, Bethany,

1041
01:02:51.280 --> 01:02:56.480
do you want to add anything to that? Yeah. So, you know, heartwork coach myself,

1042
01:02:56.480 --> 01:03:01.760
I can't help, but sit here and think, okay, there's gotta be something under the surface there

1043
01:03:01.760 --> 01:03:08.560
that when you go to want to do something that you're not giving yourself permission to just go

1044
01:03:08.560 --> 01:03:14.240
for it. And so I would encourage you, obviously we're talking mostly dating tonight, but you all,

1045
01:03:14.240 --> 01:03:20.640
if we get to the, we get to that place and we have a guy that, Hey, maybe I do want to get to know.

1046
01:03:20.640 --> 01:03:25.840
And then we're afraid to pull the trigger to actually take a step forward. Let's be willing

1047
01:03:25.840 --> 01:03:31.600
to ask the Lord, like what, why, why am I doing that Lord? Like, is there, is there something,

1048
01:03:31.600 --> 01:03:36.880
you know, am I afraid of rejection? Am I afraid of the letdown? Is there something else like that

1049
01:03:36.880 --> 01:03:42.080
it's linking to a long time ago? You know, only you guys will be able to discover those things.

1050
01:03:42.080 --> 01:03:46.880
But the other thought I had was, and you might already do this Sherry, but this was the other

1051
01:03:46.880 --> 01:03:56.000
thought I had. Sometimes when we are struggling to kind of take that leap in a sense and be like,

1052
01:03:56.000 --> 01:04:02.960
get out of our comfort zone. When we go and do other things that like kind of launch us out of

1053
01:04:02.960 --> 01:04:08.800
our comfort zone, it will then help us in the dating space or other areas of our lives to get

1054
01:04:08.800 --> 01:04:14.480
out of that comfort zone, if you will. So I, I don't know why, but I just feel like there's some

1055
01:04:14.480 --> 01:04:21.040
things that you need to do to have like crazy fun, like just things you wouldn't normally do.

1056
01:04:21.040 --> 01:04:27.920
That's going to like, get you out of your kind of box you're used to being in. And I feel like it's

1057
01:04:27.920 --> 01:04:33.920
going to let that part of you that kind of is still uncertain. I think it's going to let that

1058
01:04:33.920 --> 01:04:38.400
part of you out of the box. That's just what I kept hearing when you were talking. And so,

1059
01:04:40.160 --> 01:04:44.320
and I keep seeing dancing. So I don't know if you even like to dance or have ever considered going

1060
01:04:44.320 --> 01:04:48.800
dancing, but it could be like stuff you, you don't even know how to do, but you're going to go get

1061
01:04:48.800 --> 01:04:53.520
out of your comfort zone and learn how to do it. And it could be something other than dancing,

1062
01:04:53.520 --> 01:04:57.760
but I kept seeing dancing. So maybe it's that and something else who knows,

1063
01:04:57.760 --> 01:04:59.920
but that's what, that's kind of what came up to me.

1064
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:08.640
me. Yeah, I was good. I was good. I knew you had something. I was good. I was good. Sherry,

1065
01:05:08.640 --> 01:05:15.080
your smile is so stunning too, by the way, like you don't need to have a lot of words.

1066
01:05:15.080 --> 01:05:19.800
You have a very, very beautiful smile. And so I know that that will bless other people

1067
01:05:19.800 --> 01:05:25.000
that you come in contact with. So thank you for asking that question. All right, keep

1068
01:05:25.000 --> 01:05:33.680
us updated. Is it Sune? How do I, am I pronouncing your name? It's actually Sunny. Sunny. Okay.

1069
01:05:33.680 --> 01:05:41.920
You just, you decided you wanted to just make it hard for my parents. Yeah. Yeah. Well yeah.

1070
01:05:41.920 --> 01:05:47.280
Just had a question about like in general dating apps. I got on Facebook dating and

1071
01:05:47.280 --> 01:05:52.220
hinge and was like, okay, I'm going to be open and, and find, find the ones that say

1072
01:05:52.220 --> 01:06:00.660
Christian or spiritual, but so far I've just gotten a lot of people who are just not, not

1073
01:06:00.660 --> 01:06:07.140
as spiritual or Christian as, as I'm looking for. And it's kinda, it's kinda caused a rollercoaster

1074
01:06:07.140 --> 01:06:12.460
of emotions of like getting excited about somebody who says they're Christian and may

1075
01:06:12.460 --> 01:06:18.300
appear to be Christian at first, but then not. And yeah, I think I tend towards the

1076
01:06:18.300 --> 01:06:25.300
anxious attachment or getting attached really quickly. And then, yeah. And then just kind

1077
01:06:25.300 --> 01:06:32.540
of getting disappointed there that their faith is not as strong as I had once hoped or thought.

1078
01:06:32.540 --> 01:06:38.140
So now I'm kind of like, well, do I just stick with the Christian dating apps? Do I get on

1079
01:06:38.140 --> 01:06:44.340
those just to avoid those kinds of things? But I know you probably have even surfacy

1080
01:06:44.340 --> 01:06:49.020
Christians on those as well. For sure. So I will say this because I've

1081
01:06:49.020 --> 01:06:54.060
been on all of them. Um, I met Rick on Facebook dating and I think that's where Bethany met

1082
01:06:54.060 --> 01:07:00.420
her guy. Um, but I remember the first time I took Symbus, literally seven different dating

1083
01:07:00.420 --> 01:07:05.340
apps were mentioned of people who were in Symbus, literally all of them. And so, and

1084
01:07:05.340 --> 01:07:10.620
I think why I teach that in the online dating class, there are good guys and good girls

1085
01:07:10.620 --> 01:07:15.380
in every dating app, including the Christian ones. And there are unhealthy people and broken

1086
01:07:15.380 --> 01:07:21.580
people and scammers and all of them too. So you just have to kind of, um, be willing to

1087
01:07:21.580 --> 01:07:26.420
kind of wade through it. I call it, it's like the triathlons. It's like an open water swim

1088
01:07:26.420 --> 01:07:31.220
of the triathlon. If you've ever seen that, how you narrow it down is you pick sites that

1089
01:07:31.220 --> 01:07:36.540
aren't as busy. You get really specific with what your focus is and you kind of only look

1090
01:07:36.540 --> 01:07:43.460
within that parameter. But also, um, you can even now search on Facebook to put Christians

1091
01:07:43.460 --> 01:07:51.020
over 50 Christians that are in my area. And there's a lot more of Christian Facebook groups

1092
01:07:51.020 --> 01:07:55.020
that are popping up and some of them are, you know, again, you're going to find hot

1093
01:07:55.020 --> 01:07:59.660
messes in them and you're going to find some great folks in them. And so the way I've been

1094
01:07:59.660 --> 01:08:06.900
able to sustain, um, not getting tired of it is I don't let it take up too much of my

1095
01:08:06.900 --> 01:08:11.980
day. I've been at it for three years and I just, I give it 10, 15 minutes in the morning

1096
01:08:11.980 --> 01:08:16.740
and I go about my business and I go about the father's business. And so that's how I

1097
01:08:16.740 --> 01:08:22.899
have sustained not getting frustrated. Um, and again, using the kind of questions that

1098
01:08:22.899 --> 01:08:28.220
I asked for, you know, suggested to bring it up in faith. So that's my practical dating

1099
01:08:28.260 --> 01:08:31.899
advice to you. And I'm going to bump it to Bethany cause I'm sure she's going to give

1100
01:08:31.899 --> 01:08:35.140
a much smoother heartwork answer that might help too.

1101
01:08:35.140 --> 01:08:41.140
Yeah, you did great. That's this is awesome. I love this tag team. And tonight, um, I was

1102
01:08:41.140 --> 01:08:48.740
actually sitting here thinking about the fact that I went on a couple of dates with guys,

1103
01:08:48.740 --> 01:08:55.140
the one guy, and, and I kind of knew he wasn't my person, right? Because he, of his, where

1104
01:08:55.180 --> 01:09:00.180
his relationship status was with the Lord. But I felt the Lord nudging me to go on the

1105
01:09:00.180 --> 01:09:07.540
date anyways. And here's why I've always been very spiritual ever since I gave my life to

1106
01:09:07.540 --> 01:09:12.700
Christ. I know what my calling is. I've been running that for a long time, but sometimes

1107
01:09:12.700 --> 01:09:18.819
that even got in my way because the guy I dated before for six years confessed over

1108
01:09:18.819 --> 01:09:24.779
and over. He was a Christian and went to church every Sunday. And, but he, he did not

1109
01:09:24.779 --> 01:09:30.819
display the fruits of the spirit and he did not, um, walk and act like a Christian. So

1110
01:09:30.819 --> 01:09:37.140
I think just to encourage you to be careful to not, um, and maybe you really knew the

1111
01:09:37.140 --> 01:09:42.220
depth of their relationship with the Lord, but maybe don't write people off super quick

1112
01:09:42.220 --> 01:09:47.500
if that is what's happening, because the more you get to know them, the more you will really

1113
01:09:47.540 --> 01:09:54.380
know. Genuinely, not just, you know, I think a lot of times we look for gifts. I used to

1114
01:09:54.380 --> 01:09:59.540
do this. We look for the gifts, you know, that people display and that makes them spiritual

1115
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.960
We want the men to do the same kind of devotionals that we do.

1116
01:10:03.960 --> 01:10:07.480
And we want them to spend the same amount of time that we do with the Lord.

1117
01:10:07.760 --> 01:10:10.080
But here's the thing, everybody's different.

1118
01:10:10.080 --> 01:10:11.240
Even women are different.

1119
01:10:11.920 --> 01:10:13.320
Everybody needs something different.

1120
01:10:13.320 --> 01:10:19.360
And so for me, um, just from my perspective too, um, I would have never

1121
01:10:19.360 --> 01:10:22.600
thought I would have dated or married someone that was in a different

1122
01:10:22.600 --> 01:10:28.680
denomination than me, but God led me to that, to grow me, to grow the way

1123
01:10:28.680 --> 01:10:34.240
I looked at things to show me that, you know, at the end of the day, the

1124
01:10:34.240 --> 01:10:37.760
denomination really doesn't matter.

1125
01:10:37.880 --> 01:10:41.520
You all it's the heart of the person and do they love Jesus Christ and do

1126
01:10:41.520 --> 01:10:43.120
they walk in the fruits of the spirit?

1127
01:10:43.640 --> 01:10:48.120
Um, and I know that might ruffle some people's feathers, but I'm just saying

1128
01:10:48.120 --> 01:10:53.840
I have learned from experience that God has so much, he has a much bigger plan

1129
01:10:53.840 --> 01:10:58.440
than just that, uh, and not that that was anything that you were getting hung up on.

1130
01:10:58.440 --> 01:11:01.120
But I just felt like for the sake of everybody else as well, I

1131
01:11:01.120 --> 01:11:02.280
just wanted to mention that.

1132
01:11:02.680 --> 01:11:07.720
Um, and I think part of it too, the other thought that came to me is that.

1133
01:11:09.080 --> 01:11:12.360
Um, just even thinking about Renee's journey and some of the other people,

1134
01:11:12.360 --> 01:11:16.720
someone that just shared their journey that's in Simbis right now, um, was

1135
01:11:16.720 --> 01:11:20.760
saying like they just were at the point where they were about to give up and

1136
01:11:20.760 --> 01:11:22.800
then God led them to someone great.

1137
01:11:23.360 --> 01:11:26.880
Um, and they're five months in, it's going really well.

1138
01:11:26.880 --> 01:11:30.840
And so I would just say, sometimes I think, you know, just like Jackie said,

1139
01:11:30.840 --> 01:11:34.920
there's warfare in the sense of that the enemy doesn't want you to move forward.

1140
01:11:35.240 --> 01:11:37.120
So he wants you to give up.

1141
01:11:37.160 --> 01:11:42.560
He doesn't want you to keep trying to just put your foot out there and maybe

1142
01:11:42.560 --> 01:11:46.320
it's time to change it up and get out and do some things in a different town,

1143
01:11:46.400 --> 01:11:51.360
go to some in-person things and just allow God to lead you in your, in your

1144
01:11:51.360 --> 01:11:52.080
process.

1145
01:11:52.600 --> 01:11:56.440
Um, but that's, that's what came to me regarding her question.

1146
01:11:57.000 --> 01:11:57.600
That's good.

1147
01:11:57.640 --> 01:12:02.240
And it's also making me want to circle back to the thing I said at the very

1148
01:12:02.240 --> 01:12:09.280
beginning of this session is when I felt like I was in desert moments of my

1149
01:12:09.280 --> 01:12:13.160
dating, I focused on the other areas of my life.

1150
01:12:13.160 --> 01:12:17.080
Like you guys, I've been working on my health journey since last April.

1151
01:12:17.120 --> 01:12:18.360
Um, I'm sleeping better.

1152
01:12:18.360 --> 01:12:20.360
My hormones are back in sync.

1153
01:12:20.400 --> 01:12:21.760
My blood work is good.

1154
01:12:21.960 --> 01:12:23.520
I've lost 25 pounds.

1155
01:12:23.520 --> 01:12:28.120
Like, um, you know, you guys know, I finished my book, I got into seminary

1156
01:12:28.120 --> 01:12:28.480
school.

1157
01:12:28.480 --> 01:12:34.240
So when my dating life was kind of in a stall, I'm like, okay, God, then what

1158
01:12:34.240 --> 01:12:37.000
other things am I, do you want me focusing on?

1159
01:12:37.040 --> 01:12:43.920
Like, if you're giving me a moment to pause here or kind of like still day and

1160
01:12:43.920 --> 01:12:45.120
still keep the door open.

1161
01:12:45.120 --> 01:12:48.080
And I'll tell you this, you guys stay in community, staying community, staying

1162
01:12:48.080 --> 01:12:52.680
community, because if I was still not in this program, kind of like how you were

1163
01:12:52.680 --> 01:12:56.280
feeling, Sonny, I would have stopped the online thing long ago.

1164
01:12:56.280 --> 01:12:59.960
I would have stopped looking for it because I was getting weary.

1165
01:13:00.280 --> 01:13:05.480
And so staying in this community, keeping the apps open, keeping myself open, open

1166
01:13:05.480 --> 01:13:10.680
hand being willing, but then also finding other things in my life to make me happy

1167
01:13:10.680 --> 01:13:11.240
again.

1168
01:13:11.560 --> 01:13:15.640
Like I found joy in things I was flirting at planet fitness.

1169
01:13:15.640 --> 01:13:20.880
Like I was just trying to talk to anybody everywhere and anywhere I could brought

1170
01:13:20.880 --> 01:13:22.840
my car into the BMW dealership.

1171
01:13:22.840 --> 01:13:25.640
And I was like, all right, how many car, how many, how many men am I going to find

1172
01:13:25.640 --> 01:13:26.520
to talk to here?

1173
01:13:26.680 --> 01:13:27.920
Some of them might be old men.

1174
01:13:27.920 --> 01:13:30.320
Some of them might have an uncle or a son or a cousin.

1175
01:13:30.320 --> 01:13:30.880
I don't know.

1176
01:13:31.440 --> 01:13:32.840
So just try that.

1177
01:13:32.880 --> 01:13:34.000
So it's okay.

1178
01:13:34.000 --> 01:13:38.760
If you're weary here, try to then look somewhere else to bring the joy back on

1179
01:13:38.760 --> 01:13:39.640
your face.

1180
01:13:40.400 --> 01:13:41.000
Okay.

1181
01:13:41.200 --> 01:13:41.920
Well, thank you.

1182
01:13:41.960 --> 01:13:42.600
It's encouraging.

1183
01:13:42.600 --> 01:13:46.720
You guys both met your men on Facebook dating, cause I was about to write it up.

1184
01:13:46.960 --> 01:13:50.080
So, you know, um, Hunter real quick, what'd you got, bud?

1185
01:13:50.120 --> 01:13:50.600
Thank you.

1186
01:13:51.120 --> 01:13:51.720
You got, sweetie.

1187
01:13:52.520 --> 01:13:56.040
Another thing is I want to talk about the online dating Christian apps.

1188
01:13:56.440 --> 01:13:59.920
Of course, some people, you will find people who are carnal that aren't really

1189
01:13:59.920 --> 01:14:00.520
Christian.

1190
01:14:00.880 --> 01:14:05.480
I think what the problem isn't so much that they want someone, but there's

1191
01:14:05.480 --> 01:14:10.120
nothing wrong with it, but they try to treat dating as though it's the, it's

1192
01:14:10.120 --> 01:14:11.520
the essentials of the faith.

1193
01:14:12.000 --> 01:14:15.440
Another thing, you have a question, Hunter, cause we're doing a Q and A.

1194
01:14:16.400 --> 01:14:20.840
Cause we're just dating, like dating, like snap, you're in a dating

1195
01:14:20.840 --> 01:14:22.560
situation that you need help with.

1196
01:14:23.040 --> 01:14:24.600
So we want to try to focus there.

1197
01:14:24.600 --> 01:14:29.120
I don't want us to, to go too far down the dating, uh, online

1198
01:14:29.120 --> 01:14:31.360
dating, like path there.

1199
01:14:31.360 --> 01:14:33.000
So do you have a dating question for us?

1200
01:14:33.560 --> 01:14:38.920
Yes, I was, I was on Instagram and I don't know where some woman just showed

1201
01:14:38.920 --> 01:14:44.160
her photo and liked my, one of my pictures and she went, she instantly

1202
01:14:44.200 --> 01:14:46.320
Instagame asked me about danger.

1203
01:14:46.360 --> 01:14:51.120
And the only communication we had was text and she kept, and I, and I kept

1204
01:14:51.160 --> 01:14:54.880
going along just to be a nice guy and didn't say anything personal.

1205
01:14:54.920 --> 01:14:56.440
I just, or I live in New York.

1206
01:14:56.440 --> 01:14:59.760
She claims to have been a single mom with, with a, who's.

1207
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.020
ex cheat on her and her parents are dead.

1208
01:15:02.020 --> 01:15:04.500
She's taking care of her daughter and her kids.

1209
01:15:04.860 --> 01:15:08.200
And then finally she, she kept saying, are you going to work?

1210
01:15:08.200 --> 01:15:12.280
And yeah, I, I wasn't talking a lot because I had to work and be busy while

1211
01:15:12.280 --> 01:15:16.040
delivering. And then I was able to talk to evening and she goes,

1212
01:15:16.040 --> 01:15:17.860
are you going to do this? You're going to do this to be honest.

1213
01:15:17.860 --> 01:15:22.080
Cause I want an honest guy. Yes. When I wasn't going to, after a while,

1214
01:15:22.080 --> 01:15:26.840
I wanted to ask for a video chat and she stayed for ghost me for 50 minutes.

1215
01:15:26.840 --> 01:15:29.800
And she goes, why can't we just stay like this? I goes,

1216
01:15:29.880 --> 01:15:32.640
well we just want to empty it up and empty it up.

1217
01:15:32.640 --> 01:15:35.960
And then finally she got a little agitated because she goes,

1218
01:15:35.960 --> 01:15:40.480
I don't have enough money for phone that has videos. And then later she goes,

1219
01:15:40.480 --> 01:15:43.920
can I get money? And I told her, Nope. And she goes, why can't you trust me?

1220
01:15:43.920 --> 01:15:46.960
And she goes, cause we have all this ordered to stuff. We got to go on.

1221
01:15:47.920 --> 01:15:49.940
I'm going to, I'm going to press pause on that Hunter.

1222
01:15:49.940 --> 01:15:54.520
So the fact that she told you on Instagram that much

1223
01:15:54.520 --> 01:15:59.280
tragedy already screams, even if it's not scam,

1224
01:15:59.560 --> 01:16:03.520
it screams on health, right? So it's not always a scam,

1225
01:16:03.520 --> 01:16:04.960
but it's a broken person.

1226
01:16:05.320 --> 01:16:09.200
And so the second she said to you that she can't video chat with you,

1227
01:16:09.440 --> 01:16:12.440
you just say, Hey, you know, it's really nice talking to you,

1228
01:16:12.680 --> 01:16:16.560
but this is not what I'm looking for. And then you just end the conversation.

1229
01:16:16.560 --> 01:16:20.520
So I would encourage you if people give you a lot of reasons,

1230
01:16:20.520 --> 01:16:23.440
not to get on camera and,

1231
01:16:23.440 --> 01:16:27.160
or they tell you way too much intimate information upfront,

1232
01:16:27.440 --> 01:16:32.080
that is a good indication. It's time to move on. And you guys I've done the long,

1233
01:16:32.160 --> 01:16:33.720
I've done the online thing so long.

1234
01:16:33.740 --> 01:16:37.640
I used to think it was my job to school everybody and let them know.

1235
01:16:37.660 --> 01:16:41.920
I figured out that who they are. It's not our job. You just move it on along.

1236
01:16:42.280 --> 01:16:45.320
You can block them. You can bless them. You don't need to explain.

1237
01:16:45.320 --> 01:16:47.920
So you don't need to explain yourself to her.

1238
01:16:48.240 --> 01:16:52.040
So you figured it out and then you just move on.

1239
01:16:52.060 --> 01:16:55.480
So that's what I'm just going to encourage you is just have good boundaries.

1240
01:16:55.480 --> 01:16:59.320
If they divulge too much information, they won't get on video. You just say,

1241
01:16:59.320 --> 01:17:00.120
okay, well, you know what?

1242
01:17:00.120 --> 01:17:03.680
It looks like you and I are looking for two different things and I bless you.

1243
01:17:03.680 --> 01:17:05.560
And then you just block her and you move on.

1244
01:17:06.120 --> 01:17:07.680
Yeah. And then the more I asked,

1245
01:17:07.680 --> 01:17:10.840
the more I figured out this is something that it's looked like it's becoming a

1246
01:17:10.840 --> 01:17:14.040
relationship where she looks like she wants to be in control and manipulate.

1247
01:17:16.160 --> 01:17:19.400
Hunter stop because she's not healthy. She's not healthy.

1248
01:17:20.000 --> 01:17:23.280
That's right. She's not healthy. So that's not your girl.

1249
01:17:23.600 --> 01:17:28.000
You just long, you figured it out and you're going to move it along. Okay. Um,

1250
01:17:28.360 --> 01:17:30.640
it's 15 after we don't need to stay on.

1251
01:17:30.640 --> 01:17:32.880
Is there anybody else that wanted to hop in the love seats?

1252
01:17:32.880 --> 01:17:35.400
They've got a dating scenario they need to have.

1253
01:17:35.840 --> 01:17:40.160
Otherwise we can pray us all out of here. You guys, this was so much fun.

1254
01:17:40.520 --> 01:17:43.960
Bethany, I love tag teaming with you. It was great. Y'all.

1255
01:17:43.960 --> 01:17:47.280
I'm so glad we had over a hundred people on this whole night. It was great.

1256
01:17:47.280 --> 01:17:51.480
There was some good information on here and that's what love seats are for.

1257
01:17:51.480 --> 01:17:53.680
It's for you willing to get in the, you know,

1258
01:17:53.680 --> 01:17:58.280
get in that seat and be vulnerable because somebody else is going to have the

1259
01:17:58.280 --> 01:18:03.280
same exact question. Um, you have, um, anybody else? Okay.

1260
01:18:04.320 --> 01:18:06.480
All right, Bethany, why don't you close this? Since I opened,

1261
01:18:06.480 --> 01:18:07.720
why don't you close us?

1262
01:18:08.160 --> 01:18:11.920
I'd be honored to father. Thank you so much for this amazing community.

1263
01:18:11.920 --> 01:18:16.520
Thank you for every guy that's a part of this as well as the ladies where we

1264
01:18:16.560 --> 01:18:18.680
just ask for your blessing to be upon tonight.

1265
01:18:19.080 --> 01:18:22.320
And even in the tough things that we had to say, sometimes, um,

1266
01:18:23.000 --> 01:18:25.160
love is hard to hear.

1267
01:18:25.160 --> 01:18:28.520
And we just thank you God that you would just cover every person's heart, mind,

1268
01:18:28.520 --> 01:18:29.720
spirit, body, and soul,

1269
01:18:29.720 --> 01:18:32.760
help them to receive what you want them to receive and what you need them to

1270
01:18:32.760 --> 01:18:36.400
receive so that they can move forward. God, I pray for, um,

1271
01:18:36.440 --> 01:18:40.080
innovation and ingenuity, even in dating God, that we would be creative,

1272
01:18:40.080 --> 01:18:43.680
that we would have fun, that we would be marked by your grace and your glory.

1273
01:18:43.960 --> 01:18:45.720
God, I thank you for divine spirit,

1274
01:18:45.720 --> 01:18:49.720
make connections for all people in our community and God,

1275
01:18:49.720 --> 01:18:53.400
anyone that does not belong, that is not a good spirit mate match. God,

1276
01:18:53.400 --> 01:18:56.360
I pray that you would protect them from those people. And we just thank you,

1277
01:18:56.360 --> 01:18:57.800
God, that we are God defended,

1278
01:18:57.800 --> 01:19:01.880
that you're our provider and we can look to you because you are the one that

1279
01:19:01.880 --> 01:19:04.320
gives us the help that we need in every moment. So Lord,

1280
01:19:04.320 --> 01:19:06.800
I thank you for just in this new season,

1281
01:19:06.960 --> 01:19:11.200
an extra dose of grace and fun and joy. Um,

1282
01:19:11.320 --> 01:19:15.480
as we seek to, um, as they seek to meet their person, Lord,

1283
01:19:15.480 --> 01:19:17.000
I thank you for what you've given me.

1284
01:19:17.360 --> 01:19:21.160
And I thank you for the fact that it comes from the top down.

1285
01:19:21.160 --> 01:19:23.400
And so I believe you've given it to Jackie, you've given it to me,

1286
01:19:23.400 --> 01:19:24.800
you're doing something awesome with Renee.

1287
01:19:24.800 --> 01:19:29.080
And so Lord we just released that same blessing onto every one of those here

1288
01:19:29.240 --> 01:19:33.440
tonight as those, as well as those that will hear the replay. God, we thank you,

1289
01:19:33.480 --> 01:19:37.000
um, in the difficult moments, God, that you would lift them up,

1290
01:19:37.000 --> 01:19:40.320
that you would encourage them and that you would teach them also how to

1291
01:19:40.320 --> 01:19:42.800
encourage their own spirits, just as David did.

1292
01:19:42.800 --> 01:19:47.560
And we just thank you for it in advance and Jesus name. Yeah.

1293
01:19:49.160 --> 01:19:52.840
Yes, Lord, man, you all bless you.

1294
01:19:52.960 --> 01:19:56.120
We hope you know that we love you. And, and, uh, Brooke,

1295
01:19:56.120 --> 01:19:59.960
I just want to say we love you, girl. And, uh, sometimes it's hard to even.

1296
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.620
Just convey that love and be very direct,

1297
01:20:02.620 --> 01:20:04.780
but we just want you to know Jesus loves you

1298
01:20:04.780 --> 01:20:07.180
and everyone else on here the same.

1299
01:20:07.180 --> 01:20:08.140
God bless you all.

1300
01:20:08.140 --> 01:20:09.940
We hope you have an amazing night.