camera off because I'm a sight to behold. I have been in bed all day long. And I promise
not to serenade any of you tonight. For those of you that were on prophetic prayer last
night, you know what I'm talking about. And if you didn't watch prophetic prayer, then
you want to make sure that you do because it was really great. All right. So I need
to see hands because I wasn't prepared to coach this, but Holy Spirit is with us and
we'll have a great day today. A great coaching. Um, so go ahead and, um, let's find out what
we got. Let's go. What a phase. Who's in week one. Let me see the hands of week one.
Who's in week two. If you guys can put your little avatar hand up, that will be easier
for me to see probably. So week one, let's see all the avatar hands, little yellow hand
there. Let's see those hands. All right. And then let's see week two. Week two of the heart
work. That is the unpacking the heart boxes week. All right. And then week three. Who
do we got for week three? All right. And then who's in week four forgiveness week. Who's
in week four. Let's see all the hands of week four ladies. Okay. And then week five,
lot of you about to graduate in the phase two that are on here tonight cited for you.
Make sure that you don't mail in week five. Week five is really important because that
is reestablishing more authentic identity. All of us without fail have counterfeit layers.
Every one of us here tonight has counterfeit layers. Don't we? Yes. Week five plus that's
right. And you guys, no matter how long it takes you in each week that you're in, that's
okay. It doesn't have to take just one week. Week two might take three weeks, might week
four might take, you know, a month depending on what you got going on in your life. It's
okay. But as long as you don't fall off and not get back on, if you want to go slower
through it, if you feel like you're kind of messy and you're not ready to go into like
the dating phase, which is phase two, that's okay. You don't got to do that. And even if
you do go into phase two, you're allowed to just go through the material and not necessarily
take the dating challenge yet. All right. I want you to know that whatever you have
peace on, you can do, but if we see you hiding, all right, if we see you delaying on, you
know, discomfort and you really need to get stressed, you really need to do something
more than what you're doing, we're going to call that out. Okay. Because that's what
we're here for. So if we feel like you're just avoiding the inevitable, then we're definitely
going to, you know, cause you to, to be a little accelerated past maybe something that
you were comfortable with. And that is, that will be a divine acceleration, right? And
that's what's important. So for all of you that are in week one, that supernatural surrender
portion is so important. Um, sometimes, you know, I've, I've been in seasons of my life
where I kind of have to sign that permission slip every single day to say, Hey God, I need
you to take the wheel. If you were on the prophetic night last night, it was about praying
that God would overshadow our efforts with the Holy spirit. Everything that is born of
the spirit is born of God. Everything that's born of God is born of the spirit, right?
Isn't that what Luke says? And so it's really important for us to understand that we're
never going to do anything worth doing on this earth if it's not supernaturally born.
Meaning that, yeah, you can get some things done. Some of you are get her done girls.
I can look at you and tell that you are, you know, if you're on a team, people are going
to put you in charge of a bunch of things cause you will get it done. And that's great.
The problem is, is that very little of that would be eternal or have eternal value, right?
It's through our weakness that his strength is made perfect. And so we want to make sure
that we are leaning into his strength, that we are inviting him in. That's what that permission
slip is all about. It's an invitation, a divine invitation. God, I don't want my life to look
natural. I want it to look supernatural, supernatural. I want, you know, the juice on it from heaven.
And so I want, for those of you that are in week one, two, three, four, five, don't get
out of the habit of giving God permission and surrendering the pen to him. Week two,
you're unpacking those boxes. You're starting to see where your bad patterns are coming
some of those counterfeit identities,
what traumas they live in.
And remember, a lot of times those counterfeit identities
or even the traumas that they are birthed from
are counterintuitive, they're not what we're expecting.
It wasn't the molestation from your uncle,
it was something else, right?
And a lot of times, if you've been through trauma
and you've been through therapy,
you feel like I've unpacked all the big boxes.
Well, y'all, the little boxes
are the ones I'm worried about, okay?
The little boxes, write that down.
The little boxes, the things that,
because you were so used to trauma,
because you were so used to dysfunction,
you didn't even notice that stuff
because by the time that stuff arrived,
you had already been through
how little gasoline underwear on.
And so that stuff kind of just slipped
through the cracks of therapy
and even addressed that stuff
because that was small potatoes in your mind
to the bigger things that you have been through.
And we need to remember that trauma comes in all sizes
for all different people and everyone suffers,
but our pain does have purpose, right?
And that's what week three is about,
confession, repentance.
We want to begin to own our side of the street, right?
We wanna confess the things that we have held onto,
the things that we have allowed to get in our way.
Sometimes you just need to come to God and confess,
confess to others.
Obviously this confession, James 5.16,
is not just about confessing to God, that's easy.
We know, a lot of us, most of us know
that God loves us unconditionally.
And if you don't, you're gonna learn that
here in the heart work,
that he's a good, good daddy, all those things.
But we have a really hard time telling other people
where we've screwed up because we are used to judgment.
Raise your hand if you've been given
a lot of unsolicited advice
and you wanna tell the person,
hey, that's not advice, that's judgment.
What you're saying to me right now is actually not advice,
it's you judging me, right?
And so we're scared of that.
We don't want that, we don't want conflict,
we don't want confrontation,
we don't wanna feel judged,
we don't wanna feel like a bad person.
But sometimes we just have to show up and admit,
you know what, I've been playing victim
for a lot of my life.
And maybe you had a right to play victim
because you've been through a lot of bad stuff like me.
I get that.
But I'm gonna tell you, there are no trophies for trauma
and playing victim or taking on a victim posture
will not get you victory.
These are some of the things that God has taught me.
He told me, taking on a posture of victimhood
will not equal victory.
It's not gonna get you victory.
We're not here trying to get God to feel sorry for us.
And sometimes without knowing it,
we try to get other people to feel sorry for us, right?
We show up to dates or to gatherings
and we feel like we're soul puking on people,
we're telling people all about
the things that have happened in our lives
as people don't know us.
It's inappropriate boundaries
for us to be telling them those things.
But it's almost like we're showing up in our trophy
or our claim to fame is just trauma.
Like I've been through a lot of stuff, man.
You know what I've been through?
No.
You haven't even lived what God has for you yet.
And remember that pain has purpose.
You haven't Roman 828 that pain yet.
You haven't Genesis 5020 to that pain yet.
What the devil meant for evil,
God doesn't just turn it for good,
but he also gives you a message with the mess.
Gives you a testimony with the test.
He gives you purpose for the pain, right?
That is what it is, right?
And for those of you that have gotten
to the forgiveness chapter,
we started to talk about that,
the forgiveness week, and that's week four.
And I want you guys making templates.
Use that template and I want you making,
there's huge lists of people
that I believe Holy Spirit will highlight to you
that you need to forgive.
There's bad associations and bad memories
and all types of reminders
of things that have been done to you.
And God wants to turn those things to be done for you.
And so it's important.
Forgiveness is what unlocks the supernatural Romans 828.
For those of you that haven't seen,
and just for those of you that don't know,
I guess I shouldn't assume you know that scripture.
That scripture says,
and he will turn all things to the good
of those that love him
and are called according to his purpose.
What is his purpose?
His purpose is that you would show the world
what a son and daughter of God looks like, right?
You would show the world what God's kids look like.
Your purpose on this earth is to show the world
what the family of God looks like
and what he does for his family.
And so when we love him, we obey his commandments.
When we love him and we trust him,
when we have faith, we come to him
because he's a rewarder of those that seek him, right?
And so when these things happened,
he changes the things that have happened to you
to happening for you.
And if you haven't seen the beauty
that comes from the ashes yet,
then I want to propose to you that you're still,
you have still,
you still have a tight grip on the ashes.
You got a tight grip on those ashes, friends.
And we got to release those ashes to God.
We got to let him make something beautiful out of them.
Right?
And when we don't forgive people,
because let's just face it,
they don't deserve to be forgiven.
Let's just be honest about it.
Most of them aren't sorry.
They've never apologized.
And a lot of them are still out there living
in the same mess that they drug you into
when you were with them.
Whether they're your parents or your siblings
or former husbands or boyfriends or friends,
best friends that ran off with your husband,
whatever it is.
They're still living in that mess.
They're unrepentant, aren't they?
And so it's like, why should I forgive them?
They're not even sorry.
Because forgiveness is a spiritual transaction.
It has nothing to do with them.
It has everything to do with you.
It's a supernatural spiritual transaction.
The Bible tells us very clearly,
if we do not forgive,
we do not get to participate
in the finished work of the cross.
If you do not forgive, you cannot be forgiven.
And the good news for you and for me as well
is forgiveness is not a feeling.
So you don't gotta feel like it.
All you have to do is be obedient to it.
And so because of that,
for those of you that are in week four
and for those of you that are not,
you're getting a little preview.
That's why I likened it in my heart work materials
to canceling a debt on a ledger.
If you have a list of IOUs,
if you have a list of debt that other people owe you
that they borrowed from you,
borrowed 50 bucks.
Stacey borrowed 50 bucks from me.
Emily owes me $150.
Melissa, she borrowed a lot.
She owes me $500.
It's just examples, you guys.
But when you go,
you're the one that gets to decide
whether or not that person has to pay you back.
You're the one that decides whether or not
you're just gonna cross that off
and not seek vengeance, right?
Not seek that retribution or whatever it is.
You're the one that can cross it off.
You're the only one that can cancel it.
And that's what the scripture means
that says that people's sin that we remit
will be remitted.
The people's sin that we retain will be retained.
What?
How can we cause people to stay in sin?
Because when you don't release them,
they stay in the counterfeit identity
of abuser, user, liar, cheater, beater.
And guess what?
If they stay in that identity in the spirit realm,
then you're tethered to that trauma
and you have to be victim.
You have to be the lied on.
You have to be the cheated on.
You have to be the abused.
So we wanna cut that tether and free them.
We can't make their choices.
They have free will.
They can continue to stay in that mess,
but that mess will no longer be connected to you.
Can someone say amen?
Right?
It will no longer be connected to you.
A full forgiveness cycle looks like
no longer identifying someone by their sin
and no longer identifying yourself as your pain.
So please, if you're in week four,
do as many templates.
You guys, I had pages.
I had pages and pages.
Y'all, I had a whole book for my mother all by herself
because I didn't just take,
and I wanna encourage y'all,
I didn't just take,
oh, Lord, I forgive my mom
for all the things that she's done to me.
No, I took every single instance
that Holy Spirit was highlighting.
I didn't go digging around for trauma,
but as I sat with the template
that had her name on the top of it,
and I prayed,
and I let Holy Spirit overshadow that process,
and I said, what do I still need to forgive mom for?
All kinds of memories, hurtful,
negative, trauma-based memories
that still were holding a lot of pain for me
when I was thinking about them.
Because we compartmentalize well, right?
We forget because we're really resilient,
and we move on until that thing,
like a ticking time bomb,
shows back up in our life, in our relationship,
in our relationship with our children,
in our relationship with a future husband.
So that's why I gotta unpack and defuse those bombs now.
And so I was able to make lists of things.
And you guys, because of those lists,
I will tell you, that was 20,
that was 20,
2009, that was 2009.
I tried to get my mom to do her heart work as well.
Like I messaged her, I sent her an email.
I still have that email.
She didn't respond to it,
because we were estranged.
You know, I went to live in a girl's home when I was 14,
and then I really never had a relationship with my mom,
really, really, ever since then.
But because of that work that I did in 2009,
I was able to show up for my mom in 2016,
when she was dying,
and I was able to walk through
the last four years of her life with her.
And guess what?
It was during that time
that I published the heart work book,
and she got to be there for it,
and she did her heart work.
And she left this earth completely.
at peace. Come on, y'all. I wish she was still here. I wish that I got to spend more years
with her as the, you know, healed version of her. But she went to heaven at 63 years
old. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of the real her or the redeemed
version of her and wish I could have known that woman more. She was great. And some of
you guys are going to have to make forgiveness templates for people that are not alive. They're
not alive anymore. But it doesn't mean that you still don't have to forgive them. Right?
Because you're holding on to that identity of trauma and pain. And it's important that
you do that. All right, I promise you, I'm not still that broken hearted about my mom.
I'm just sick. And I feel like when you're sick, you're really sensitive. So praise the
Lord. All right. So those of you that are in week five, this is where you begin to do
you know, you're gonna start dreaming through the whole through the whole heart work. But
this is where you start to really be able to think about what do I really want to do
with the rest of my life to make it the best of my life? You know, all the things that
were in my way are not in my way anymore. And I believe that God can do anything in
my life. And so what do I want to do? And you begin to daydream and nightdream and you
begin to ask questions, you begin to step out, you begin to take risks. And that's why
we tell you not to do any of that stuff until you get to the end of heart work because you
should be coming alive inside. And sometimes we want to do crazy stuff like go in and tell
our boss you can take this job and shut it and then run off and move out of state or
out of the country or do something and maybe you'll do that. I wouldn't do the shove it
part. But a lot of you are at places that are unworthy of you. And you've been there
for a long time because you weren't the real you. But as you become more and more yourself,
the authentic you the garden you, you're going to make bigger and bigger and bigger changes
both on the outside. And as the changes happen on the inside, because remember, we're never
stuck on the outside, we're only ever stuck on the inside. So as the inside changes, the
outside changes, whether it's geographic, whether it's communities, whether it's
activities, whether it's jobs or vocations or desires, that should start to change too
for week five. Alright, so now that there's a synopsis of all of those, so all of you
guys are on kind of on the same page. Let's go ahead and get into the questions. So all
questions are welcome from any of the weeks, any of the weeks. So let's get at it. Who's
got a question?
Diane, if you're if your hands up, go ahead and ask.
Oh, okay. That's funny. I didn't know my hand was still up. And I was trying to formulate
a question. So I guess maybe I'm supposed to. Over the weekend, I just had something
interesting that happened. And it brought up a question for me. I ran into someone who
had caused a lot of interference in my marriage when I was married. And I, it was
interesting, I had totally forgotten about the incident forgotten about the person. But I
think running into her was God kind of putting that on my mind to let go of it and have
forgiveness. And as I was driving away, I felt like God was impressing upon me just
let go of the whole story, just let go of that. So I guess that would be I've never been a
person where it's real super easy just to, to, you know, I hang on to things a lot. I don't
hang on to grudges. But I, you know, just kind of hang on and process a lot. So what are
your tips just for being able to lay things down? Let it go?
Yeah, I love that. And Diane, are you in week four? You in the forgiveness week?
I'm in the week five.
I'm sorry.
I'm the one just past that.
Okay. All right. So you guys, you can expect this kind of stuff to happen where, you know, God
will let us, you know, see someone or run into someone, something, someone or remember
something that we thought, you know, we had completely forgotten about. And yes, I believe
with you 100% that this is God inviting you into letting this go. And also letting go with
it. I'm assuming it's a woman. Is that right?
Yes.
Okay. So letting go with it, the, the fear of someone coming in between you and your
future husband, right? You know, the fear of, you know, of being around women who might
be meddling in your marriage or trying to seduce your husband away from you or any of
the above. And so when we when you release this person, and you know, you forgive them,
regardless of whether they're sorry or not, you forgive them and you release it, you make
a forgiveness template.
for them, and you release it,
you also have that as a receipt.
So Diane, if you're one of the people that,
you know, you wanna process it,
you're trying to figure out the why behind the what,
you may never know the why behind the what.
Now, there is a part on those forgiveness templates
that says, what is Holy Spirit speaking to you?
And so maybe this time around,
you will get a little bit of clarity.
But the bottom line is,
even if you don't, there should be peace.
And if the enemy comes back,
if those nagging ideas of trying to figure it out,
analyzing it, and all the things come back,
you can just pull out your little receipt,
and you can say, oh no, Jesus paid for it all.
He already paid for this,
and I've come into agreement with the finished work
of the cross on behalf of this person,
and they are forgiven.
As far as I am, I'm gonna live at peace with all people.
As far as I'm able to, I'm gonna live at peace,
and I release this.
And so every time that comes up,
you're just gonna continue to release it.
You're gonna continue to remind yourself with that receipt
that it's a done deal, it's a finished work, okay?
But I believe that on,
I believe that not the consequences of it,
but the fruit of it will be that you will be able
to have women around your marriage,
because you need women in the future
without always wondering what's really going on.
Yeah, it really, it created a lot of lack of trust,
and I reacted rather than responded,
and it caused some bad things in our marriage.
And so driving away that day too,
I looked at, because, you know,
just without sharing too much,
my husband was very abusive,
and I didn't believe in divorce,
so I wasn't the person that was going to leave.
And as I drove away, I tried to think like,
okay, what were the ways in which it actually served me
for this woman to interfere?
And when I thought that way, it kind of brought about,
well, she was maybe a catalyst that caused him to leave.
I don't think I could have sustained living
in that marriage the way it was.
It was really, you know, it destroys your soul
when you're living in a situation like that.
So I tried to just, you know,
that verse where you, you know,
to be grateful for everything, whether it's good or bad.
So that's what I tried to do that,
to try to help myself get past it.
And, you know, I don't want to like still have negative
vibes toward the fact that this person did that,
but I'm glad that you pointed out like in the future,
because I think that may be a fear
that's held me back from dating,
is like the things that happened in my marriage
that I thought I had let go of, but haven't.
Well, good.
This is giving you an opportunity
to really cut those tethers.
So I want to encourage you to take that opportunity
and make some, and make numerous, you know,
templates for all people involved in this.
So that's good.
All right.
Good question there, Diane.
Lucy, you're up.
Awesome.
Hi, Jackie.
My question is very similar to Diane,
so it's okay if, I'll totally understand if you're like,
okay, yeah, just what I just said.
I've had something similar.
So I'm in week four right now,
which is the forgiveness week.
So I haven't seen my ex-boyfriend
or anyone from his family, nothing in, you know,
since we broke up.
The last week I saw his younger brother,
I've seen his younger brother,
like both weekends run into him.
In my situation, I feel actually,
I felt almost as much or more hurt by the younger brother
and things that were said and done
than I have even by my ex-boyfriend.
So I've seen-
And why is that?
Because he didn't like you
and he was glad you all broke up?
Yes.
I, there were some things,
the way he did business practices
that I didn't agree with.
And there was just one time where I expressed
that I couldn't agree or congratulate.
And then from then on, anything I did,
he talked to his brother about like,
turn anything I did or said
and make me appear in some, in a way that I'm not.
And it just, it felt horrific.
And finally, I don't know all the details,
but I think it just felt like
there was manipulation and control.
It was just gross.
Yeah, no, and you guys,
and I want you to know that this happens so often.
It really does.
I have a bride right now that is going through a divorce.
She got married in this community
and it was, they were really happily married,
but her husband's sister came in between the marriage
and really just destroyed the marriage.
And so it does happen.
It does happen.
Parents, siblings, it definitely happens.
Yeah, it was gross.
It was like the top three,
probably worst experiences with a man in my life.
And the problem was that he would,
it all happened like when the ex-boyfriend
wasn't listening or watching.
So it was just sick.
Anyway, so I've run into him twice the last two weekends
and I'm wondering, like, God,
are you saying I need to talk to him?
Or what are you saying about?
that I've run into him. Yes, as in like, I've walked in, I've
been in a space and he's suddenly there and I've like
turned and walked away. You know, like, you know, like when
I'm, I'm having you turn and walk away, you turn I'm sorry,
you turn and walked away after he saw you or he didn't see you.
I don't know. So one, I was leaving a coffee shop, I
realized, oh, shoot, my car's parked the other way. And as I
look up, I see him, but he's looking down at his phone. So I
just got afraid and turn around and walked away. And then, and
then yesterday, I was walking into a coffee shop, and I saw
him through the window, like sitting talking to a girl. And I
walked in and I just kind of do you live? Do you live in
Reading? Yeah. Okay, so it's going to be impossible not to
run into someone in Reading, California. I mean, I just want
to tell you, I feel famous when I'm in Reading, California,
because people will stop me on the street and ask me if I'm
Jackie Dorman. Okay, because I was on a podcast for Bethel
Church. And so I'm just telling you that the town is a postage
stamp if you've never been there. So Lucy, yes. How long
ago was the breakup?
February 21.
Oh, so it's very new. Okay. All right. And there's no chance of
getting back together.
I don't think so. We broke up, we worked through things, his
brother told him, he didn't think we should be dating. I
chose to do this course, because I knew there were dysfunctions.
I was tired of everything always being my fault and communication
problems. And I could only join I couldn't. He chose not to. And
then he let me know he didn't feel have peace about it. He
already asked another girl on a date, even though he told me he
was waiting. So that's where things are. He also has five
kids from two former girlfriends and is only been back with the
Lord like two years. So you're not
okay. So he has five kids with two former girlfriends. He
didn't even marry those girls, right? No. Okay. So sounds like
unless he gets a lot healthier, you probably dodged a bullet
here. And then secondly, I don't think that you have to because
here's the thing. If you run into someone in person, and
that's a very small town, and I'm glad I'm familiar with it
because I can kind of picture you going into evergreen or
theory. Okay, I can picture it in my head because I've been
there sometimes. And so, you know, those are small spaces
with a lot of people that know each other. And I don't think
that it's the right format. I honestly don't. So I think that
you seeing him is just God inviting you into releasing your
soul. Okay, and in bringing peace to you of you forgiving
him, you know, kind of like they know not what they do kind of
thing. He's obviously operating out of fear. He's obviously
operating out of, you know, some other type of oppressive thing.
You know, if his brother has been, you know, with two girls
and has five kids, you know, then there's probably some
dysfunction in the family. And you guys, all of you listen, when
you get into these later stages of dating, where it gets
serious, it's like that level three. And for those of you,
they're going to phase two, you'll find out all about that
over there. If a man's not willing to leave and cleave, he
ain't your guy. All right, if he's gonna allow his siblings or
his parents or even his former wife, because it's a blended
family, control you and your household, if you marry him, a
girl, you do not want that. All right, you do not want that. I
have seen that in real time so many times. And it is a recipe
for divorce. Okay. And we do not want that it's or just, you
know, just, it's a recipe for divorce or just abuse or Yeah,
it's just, it's horrible. You don't want it. Okay, so I feel
like if you forgive him and make the templates, write down
specifically what he said about you, what he did, all the
things, sit with Holy Spirit, let him overshadow it, I think
there's a possibility that there could be a softness of heart
that comes over him. That when you do run into him again, you
know, you'll be able to be civil and he will as well. You won't
have to pretend like you don't see the elephant in the room
because those are small rooms you're talking about. And yeah,
they're very small. And so it's important that you know, you're
able to live in your town without fear. And so I want to
encourage you to do that first. And if while you're sitting with
Holy Spirit, he tells you something different, write a
letter, write an email that you do whatever he tells you to do.
But as of right now, I think it's just for you, honestly. And
I feel like hearts can be softened when you will, when you
will do what the Word of God says, the Bible says, y'all, if
someone has odd against us, it doesn't say if you're offended
at them. Okay, it says, if you know, they're offended at you,
they don't like you, they're offended at you. What does it
say to do? It says for you to, you know, try to restore when
I'm sure that you tried to at some level, you know, make
peace, because you seem like a really sweet girl. But it also
says to, you know, if you're in the same
community, this is important.
If you're in the spiritual community of God,
the household of faith together,
you would need to bring the elders, right?
You would need to bring other people in authority
to try to work that out because you can't be in a family
with people that are gunning for each other.
But she's not in that situation with this guy
and so we have to switch to the other scripture
that says pray for those that hate you
and despitefully use you, right?
Bless them.
And so that's what she's gonna do right now.
All right, Melissa, what do you got?
Okay, I just began week five and I am someone
that I never dream, absolutely never dream,
haven't in years.
And Saturday night, I had a dream.
It was about my son, my youngest son.
He is 20, almost 21.
And in the dream, there were some family members around
and I was telling him that we were going to church
and he was saying, no, I'm going home.
And I was like, no, we're going to church.
And he kept arguing, no, I'm going home.
And then all of a sudden, his eyes, it's kind of weird,
but his eyes illuminated and jumped out at me
and I began to, I felt like I was in a trance
and I couldn't respond.
And as soon as that happened, I woke up.
And I'm just wondering what this dream means.
Okay, so if you could write out your dream, all right,
and if you put it in the group and write it out,
because there's a lot of nuances there and details
and we could just take a look at it, we can help you.
I think it is a prophetic dream.
I'll tell you that right now.
And so it's difficult for me to, I'm very visual.
I need to look at it.
So when I see it or when Bethany sees it,
we'll give you feedback on it, okay?
Okay.
But I will tell you that I do believe
it's a spirit-based dream, at least parts of it are.
I do too.
I really felt like whenever I woke up,
I really felt like it was spiritual.
And there's parts, honestly, that I feel like I understand
and there's parts that I feel like I don't.
Okay, take a look at it.
It'd be a confirmation for you.
Okay, one other thing also is I dreamed again last night.
I never dream.
I know, well, I warned y'all, didn't I tell you?
Yes, and last night in the dream,
everyone was saying, here's the bride, here's the bride.
And I'm like, wait a second, what?
Like who, me?
I'm the bride?
Yes.
Come on, I love it.
I love that, what an encouraging and beautiful dream.
Love it.
Yeah.
I hope that really encouraged your heart.
You're headed to phase two when?
I'm in week five right now.
Okay, well, make sure you post your dreams in this group,
not that one, okay?
Okay.
Okay, great, thank you.
All right, thanks for sharing that.
That's encouraging for everyone.
Okay, Christelle Charles, what we got?
Hi, Jackie.
So my question is,
how do you stay hopeful and like encourage
like during this whole heart process?
Like, especially like when things are coming up,
like disappointments that you thought
that maybe you dealt with in the past,
but like all those things are like coming up again
and you're like trying to process them.
Because I think for me, it's just like,
I think I'm scared to feel the pain
that I felt in the first,
the first time I felt, you know, that whole disappointment.
So like, how do you stay hopeful
and encouraged during that whole process?
Great, great question.
And here's the thing,
just because, you know,
you're not consciously aware of the pain
doesn't mean it's not affecting every aspect of your life.
And so it's important for you to understand that
because you're saying,
I'm afraid of re-experiencing the trauma,
but you are re-experiencing the trauma
because that trauma has created a counterbalance.
or fit identity in which you're living out of.
Does that make sense to everyone?
I write in the book, and some of you aren't there yet,
but I write in the book about how I really hurt my knee.
Right?
And as long as I didn't do X, Y, Z,
you know, I didn't get it taken care of.
I didn't go to the doctor.
I probably definitely needed to.
I probably definitely might've even needed surgery.
But I didn't do any of that stuff.
I just let it just go.
And it was like, oh, it'll just get better.
And this is what we do with traumas.
We push them down.
We say, okay, I'll deal with that later.
We don't have time.
You know, a lot of you, when you experienced your trauma,
you already were an adult in a lot of ways,
or you're a kid and you didn't have the tools
to deal with trauma.
Whatever it was, you had to just leave it for another day.
Okay?
And what happens when we do that is,
and I write about this in this story,
is that we start altering our life
to make room for our pain.
My knee started feeling fine,
unless I did things that I wanted to do,
like play volleyball, or run, or exercise,
or do things that are definitely part
of my authentic identity.
And so as long as I didn't do those things,
then it wouldn't tweak out.
I wouldn't feel the pain.
But as soon as I tried to resume my regular life
and try to capture the things that I lost in life
before that trauma, that's when I started feeling it.
And so that's what you're doing here, Christelle.
You have to be willing to feel it.
Because remember, it's not the same pain.
This is the pain of change.
This is the pain of healing.
This is not the pain of that original trauma.
This is the pain of you getting past it,
and it's better out than in.
So encourage yourself with that,
that yes, you're gonna feel some of it,
but this is a scheduled heart surgery.
Holy Spirit is here to overshadow you, all right?
Jesus is the master heart surgeon.
He knows what to do, all right?
And I guess I just really wanna say to all of you,
this is a time in your life
where this is a scheduled breakthrough,
and it's important that you take it
because you don't wanna have an unscheduled breakdown later
in the middle of your relationship,
your marriage, whatever.
And I promise you, these roosters will come home to roost.
They will.
As soon as you're in danger of having to be vulnerable
and really let someone in into me see,
all kinds of stuff's gonna start tumbling up
out of that box in your heart.
And so we gotta unpack it together now.
This is our chance.
And it doesn't mean the heart work's ever done.
It's not one and done,
but it does mean that you do the work here.
Like I said, I believe it's accelerated.
I believe it's a tipping point.
It's supernatural.
And then when you go into phase two and three,
you're gonna need to try it out real time with people.
And as that happens,
we're gonna see where there's more need for healing,
and you're gonna get even more healing.
So Christelle, I guess what I wanna encourage you
is that God led you here.
He knows what you need and he knows how to get it to you.
And if you trust him,
it's not gonna hurt the way it did at first.
It's gonna be the pain of healing,
and he will give you the grace to be able to do it.
Thank you.
And we're here for you, girl.
You guys, please post in your group.
There's no one else in your phase one group
except for people who are in the heart work.
And so no matter what week you're in, post in your group.
Talk about where you are.
What are your wins?
Where are the places where you're stuck
and you're feeling discouraged?
Post there.
Okay, make sure that you take advantage
of that weekly post on Sundays
about what are you working on?
Where are you?
What's going on?
Because that is what we use to do these coaching calls with.
And the app, we gotta keep praying, y'all.
The developer has never seen it take this long
to get approved by the Apple Store.
It's just warfare.
And if you guys were on the call last night,
the prophetic prayer call,
you know that my whole house got flooded.
Okay, my husband thinks he's Noah.
And then flooded the whole house.
And then I just came down with a crazy fever, 102 fever,
been in bed all day long.
Had to cancel my challenge, y'all.
I have never done that for the four years
that this community has been born.
And so something is up.
Something's up for sure.
And that's a good something up.
Anytime the enemy is meddling,
you best believe that God is doing something great.
And so we're gonna push forward in that.
All right, we have three more questions here.
Sarah, Anisha, and Maddie.
Sarah, what do you got?
Oh, hey, quick clarification on hope.
Kind of to just piggyback her.
I feel like there's things that we can hope for,
but then you were talking a lot in that teaching
about supernatural hope that that's beyond circumstances.
I guess I'm just curious,
because sometimes we like really long for a certain outcome,
but I just, I think I'm having a little bit of difficulty
understanding how to attack.
to supernatural hope that's beyond,
because it feels a little both and, right?
Well, yeah, and you can't do it on your own.
So you can't do it,
but you can acknowledge that you're not living
at that level for hope, you know,
and you can allow God to show you why.
What are the lies that you're believing
that are keeping you being able to glisten with hope, right?
As my friend, Steve Backlin says,
being able to show up, you know,
and just your life, your future is glistening with hope.
Right?
You believe that the rest of your life
is the best of your life.
You believe that everything's not just happening to you,
it's happening for you.
What does that look like?
That looks like a supernatural shift.
That's not natural.
Guys, remember our flesh is corrupt.
That's why it's called the corruptible.
And that's why we have to follow after the spirit
so that we don't give the flesh what it wants,
because what it wants is to feel sorry for itself.
It really does.
It feels good.
Let's admit it.
It feels good to have a pity party.
Poor me.
The problem is, is that does not provoke change at all.
Yeah, that's true.
It doesn't.
And so it's important that we get to the root
of why in those certain areas,
and that's why those areas are all sectioned out,
why do I look at this area of motherhood
and I just have no hope for it?
I just wanna let you guys know
there are millions of orphans in the world,
millions of orphans in America, just America alone.
I think there's something like 30 million kids
without families.
What in the world?
If you wanna be a mom, you certainly can.
That's why you gotta surrender the pen to God,
because it might not look like you expected it to look.
It might not look like a baby coming out of your vagina.
It might, but it actually might not.
But if you have a desire to be a mother,
you certainly can, you can.
I have a student right now
who has all kinds of foster babies.
As soon as they're born from their mother's womb,
because they're not allowed to stay with mom
for whatever reason, as soon as they come out,
they immediately come to her.
And she is able to spend the first moments
of these babies' lives with them.
I know that you and I are like,
ooh, that sounds like a lot of work,
but you know what, she loves it.
She loves it.
Sometimes she'll have as many as three infants
at a time at her house.
I don't know how she does that.
I know you guys are all wide-eyed, like what in the world?
But you know what?
She used to be kind of a hard girl.
She's young.
She's in her early 40s,
but she was just hard by disappointment.
It has softened her so much.
She is so divine feminine.
She is so changed.
Her nurturing, caring kindness has come to the forefront,
and it has really changed her life.
So Sarah, your answer is you can't do it on your own,
but you can ask him to show you
why it's so hard to stay in hope in those areas.
All right, Aneesha, what do you got?
Is it Aneesha?
Aneesha, what am I saying here?
Aneesha, yeah, of course.
It's difficult for me to sound that out,
because I, phonics and me don't get along, y'all.
I just want to let you know.
All right.
Thank you.
So my question was,
I was like praying, going through some of the work.
I'm in week three.
One of the kind of the visions God brought to me
was a memory of my brother when I was placed in respite,
because I was in the foster care system.
It was my brother.
We went to the same school, obviously,
but I was placed in a different home.
And it was my brother crying,
because he was worried about me,
that I got placed somewhere else.
And I can remember that memory was significant,
because it was the first time I felt like someone missed me.
Is your brother older or younger?
He's younger than me.
And what relationship do you have now?
We don't.
We have been estranged for years,
because part of this issue that I had
is I never felt like I was wanted.
Like, I always felt rejected.
So I made every effort for connection,
whether it be like lying, cheating,
making crises in the home,
and that really estranged me and my siblings for years.
But I look back at that little girl,
and I'm like, she just wanted to connect.
She wanted to be loved.
100%.
Yeah, and I believe that God's gonna reconnect you
to your family.
I do.
I believe that some parts of your family
you're going to have relationship with again.
Whatever reputation you have with your siblings,
with that brother, whoever,
whatever reputation you've had because of the past trauma,
they're not gonna remember that version of you.
And so I just want you to be open to that.
Do you live in Chicago?
No, I live in New York.
We actually met in New York a couple of weeks,
about a month ago.
Who did?
Me and you.
Oh, me and you.
Oh, hey girl.
Hi.
Okay, so you live in New York.
Do you go to that church?
I, no.
I don't, we traveled three hours.
Oh, you did.
Okay.
As your family, what's, what's the link to Chicago?
Um, oh, this is the Chicago bulls basketball team.
Oh yeah, I know.
But did you, did you grow up there?
Are you from there?
You just, you just have the sweatshirt from Target.
Okay.
Where, where is your, where's your family at right now?
Do you know?
Yeah, they're all around my brothers and my dad moved to Texas and kind
of like met, married somebody in Texas.
Haven't talked to him in two years.
My brother moved away.
Like, we're all very strange.
So we're all like, just kind of spread out now.
Okay.
Well, I believe that God's going to start bringing restoration in your family, in
your family.
Um, and it may just start with one member, but it's going to happen.
Thank you.
It is.
And you know what?
You don't have to, and I have a very similar story.
I had a lot of very similar coping mechanisms is what you're describing,
you know, of just making up stories and living in a fantasy world and
manipulating and trying to stay safe and all the things.
And that, you know, that is a trauma based version of you.
That was the survivor version of you.
That's what you felt like you had to do as a child to, to be safe and to keep
yourself safe and to survive and to try to get connection.
And, um, it's not the real you.
And so you don't have to, no matter if that's anyone else's perception of you,
that's not the real you.
And you don't have to answer to that identity anymore.
Okay.
Or be ashamed of any of that.
Cause like you said, you know, you were a child and you were just doing your best.
Thank you.
Okay.
So you guys, you can make forgiveness lists for yourself now that we're older
and we know better, and even though we know that we did that stuff out of trauma,
we can still, we can still ask for forgiveness for it.
Right.
Because we want to disconnect and you're like, well, how does that work Jackie?
Because you're forgiving that broken version of yourself.
Cause it's not the real you.
So it's almost like forgiving someone else.
It's like forgiving someone else because that person no longer lives here.
And so it's important that we do those forgiveness templates for ourselves.
And for some of the things that we're not proud of that we did,
um, out of the desire to survive.
All right, Maddie, you're up.
Hi, Jackie.
Thanks for taking my question.
Um, first I want to encourage you.
Um, I'm here by the testimony of a friend from church.
She picked up your book and it totally changed her life.
Um, she got married at 48 just a year ago.
And she's like, you've got to take this Facebook challenge
and you've got to join the class.
She's like, my biggest regret was I didn't take the class.
Okay.
And so I just want to encourage you that there are people out there that you've
never met that, that are married because of you.
Oh, no, I trust me.
I, I know.
And I get, I get stopped at airports and all over the place and people say,
Hey, I'm married because of you, because of your challenge, because of your book.
Um, and so I do appreciate that though.
And yes, and I, I wish people would take the class because, you know, finding
the person is, you know, finding a person isn't all what it's about.
If you're not ready to, you know, be there or if your picker is broken and
you just go decide, decide to pick anyway, then, you know, it's not going to be good.
Right.
Exactly.
So here's my question.
I'm, I'm dealing with, I'm in week five, you know, who are you?
What's your identity?
And I'm dealing with a false identity that I will, I have made bad decisions.
I will always make bad decisions.
The last, um, relationship I was in, I was with somebody for 10 years.
I met him at Bible study.
I was convinced he was a Christian.
I believed he loved the Lord.
And then after 10 years, um, his, his children that had moved out, I'll move
back home, five of them, and found out that they had altars and we're practicing
paganism and he was too, and it just broke my heart.
So now I, so I ended the relationship.
So you're saying that this dude was straight up worshiping
the devil with altars and stuff.
His children were, and he was okay with that.
Oh my Lord.
Okay.
Well, I guess that that's a really big God defended moment where God's like,
no, so I, so I have this guilt of I'm so stupid.
I'm so blind.
What if I make another big, huge mistake in a relationship?
Well, that's why you're here.
Because remember you're here because it's not about you just seeing, because
that's why they call it blind spots, Maddie.
Right.
But you have a whole sisterhood.
around you. This is part of your God defense system. You have coaches, right? You have
Renee, you have Bethany, you have myself, you have your sisterhood. The only way that
that would ever happen, and of course you're God defended, is if you just decide to do
whatever you want to do and you don't let people hold you accountable. You don't come
into your groups, you don't post about who you're dating, you don't, you know, when you
feel like those little tugs and that little check in your heart, you don't post and say,
hey, what do you guys think about this? This is what he said, this is what I saw. You know,
that's the only way that that will happen, is if you decide to just recklessly go forward
because you don't want anyone telling you no, because having a guy is better than having
the right guy. And hopefully we're getting rid of that type of fear based, you know,
picking of men in this first thing, in this first, you know, part work.
Okay. Thank you for taking my question.
Is that hopefully that encourages you and makes you feel safe.
Yeah, I think so. It's just I had to air that out.
Thank you for your confession.
You why I'm here because it's been a year since it's been, it's, that's why my friend
recommended this group, because she's like, girl, you are hurting, you need healing.
Hey, look, I believe that God shows us and shows us and shows us I'm sure with that guy,
there were all kinds of little flags that you ignored. And then he's like, how about a pagan
altar? And you're like, Oh, can't can't ignore that one. Well, that one's like a big red flag
to smacking us in the face.
How that came about was I realized there was altars in his house was he had bought one of his
daughters a whole bunch of idols. And she's like, well, I'll take this upstairs and stick it on my
eye on my altar. And I'm like, say what?
Yeah, it's weird.
Once again, you're you're God defended, and you should rejoice in that.
Oh, thank you. I'm gonna tell you another thing.
That's definitely that's not even a red flag. That's a like run flag. Okay. But the massive red
flag happened before that when all five of his kids moved back home.
What?
And the final, the final straw, the final straw was when I was asked, and and why aren't you here
living with, with my dad taking care of all the bills?
Okay, yeah. So this was just one big red flag. So yes, I see how why you would be concerned,
because it sounds like you had to overlook a lot of stuff in order to stay in that relationship.
And but I promise you, if you show up in phase two and phase three, you post you let yourself be
known. And you don't like hide away and you know, meet someone and never introduce them to anyone
or never ask any questions. If you don't do that, you will get a lot of really wise counsel, you
guys, the Bible says that in a multitude of counsel, there is safety. And so we have built a
community where I can honestly tell you the only people that have found themselves in crazy
situations out of the almost 800 people that have gotten engaged and married already. And that
doesn't include the other, you know, probably 1000 that are in relationship headed towards
marriage right now, have been people who did exactly what I said, they came in here, they got
super excited about what they could have, they went out, they met someone, they ignored anything,
they said, Oh, this must be God since he they, since I met them right after I took the challenge
or right after I did my heartwork. And then they ran away, we never heard from them again, until
they're asking us to help them because they're getting divorced. Don't do that. You don't got to
do that. Right? Even when you get into a relationship, stay here, stay accountable until
you feel like it's solid enough, and then go into our symbol, save your marriage before it starts
class at six weeks long. And I promise you, it's a matchmaker and matchbreaker course, if you
shouldn't be with the person that course, that six weeks course, which is part of your community
here will break you up. Unless, like I said, you just want to ignore it. And you want to stay
somewhere just because you have a scarcity mentality, which I pray that if you don't rush
through the heartwork, you will leave this five weeks, no longer an orphan, no longer with any
poverty or scarcity mentality that you're aware of. But then when those things surface in other
ways, in phase two and phase three, you will have, you know, us there to help you to unpack what is
really rooted there. All right. All right, y'all. I appreciate you. I bless you in all the all the
weeks that you're in and heartwork, please, you know, keep going. Even when it hurts sometimes
to our sister who said that, you know, it hurts. Yeah, Crystal, it does. But it's the pain of
healing. Don't forget that.
And we will see you guys.
Let's see, you're in phase one,
so I guess we'll see you on Supernatural Saturday.
And prayerfully, we will see you on the app
by the time you get to phase two,
because it will be approved this week.
Agree with me, and thank God for it.
I'll see you soon, bye everyone.