I could never, in a million years, think that I would be able to say that I'm not an alcoholic
anymore.
My name is Joel McClelland.
I grew up in the church, it was a very Holy Spirit stifled church.
You know, if you don't have that relationship with Jesus, it's almost like it's not real
at that point.
You have Father and Son, but that's just in paper, you know, there's no relationship,
there's no feelings.
So I ended up just going on my own path after high school, during high school, and just
got deeper into partying, deeper into just doing whatever I wanted, and so I had no purpose
in my life.
And I was lost, man, I was confused, I didn't know what I wanted to do after high school.
So I just kept drinking, and I realized I could drink, and I could drink and drink and
drink.
And then after that, it was like I had to drink or else I couldn't function, and that
was a lot of my life.
I don't know, I never thought that I was not going to be an alcoholic.
I had 100% made up in my mind that that was the rest of my life, because there was no
hope.
I mean, I just got to that point where I ran out of any resources I had, slept in a tent
by the railroad.
Addiction is rough.
Just so crazy, like, what those drugs will make you do, and like the spirits, I guess
it's the spirits probably attached to them, like under the influence of meth, you will
steal.
You'll steal.
And it doesn't even matter why.
Satan was doing things to like scare me.
I almost felt like he was trying to make me go crazy by the things he did.
What made me realize that there must be a God was just seeing the evil out there.
If this stuff's real, then there must be a God too.
I started seeking Him.
I wasn't sure if it was Jesus at first, but that was like what was so important to me.
I was just seeking the truth with my whole heart, you know, it wasn't necessarily Jesus
that my answer was.
I didn't have an answer.
The spring of 2020, I've been out there two winters.
At this point, I'm really starting to believe in Him.
I see His miracles a lot more, and I see the spiritual world a lot more, and how He works
in our favor and stuff, how He's protecting me, how I never had to worry about where I
was going to eat or how I was going to have clothes.
I always had plenty of stuff out there.
He was always taking care of me to the point where I could give my stuff away to people
that needed it.
I was just having one of those days that God was talking to me a lot, and I ended up in
front of the Salvation Army.
He just told me to start praying there, and that's when I got baptized in the Holy Spirit
right there.
Looking back at it, I'm like, wow, I was asking for help, and that's what God says.
If you ask, He'll send you to help.
I got up and started praising Him, and I was crying, and I ran across America the Beautiful
Park proclaiming His name, and everybody looked at me like I was crazy.
Since then, I knew that I was His, and I was, you know, what that meant.
That's really the day that I understood what that meant.
At first, after that day, not a whole lot changed.
I thought miraculously everything was going to change.
The girl I was with at the time, she was pregnant with my son.
I was still kind of in some bad stuff, but I was on the right track.
I had gotten in a little bit of trouble, and I was in jail when he was born.
While I was in my stint in jail, that helped me get off the alcohol.
I quit smoking cigarettes and stuff.
I knew the responsibility that I had when I got out, and God made that really clear
to me.
Plus, He had always put it in my heart to want to be a dad, so I was just really excited.
I know it sounds cliche, but I look back, and I don't see that person in me anymore.
I was so angry and so upset all the time and so depressed.
I just thought that was normal, man.
I thought that people felt like this, and I just couldn't handle it.
I'm a totally different person.
I can't even explain it, really.
It's the deepest, darkest places that He's willing to go for us.
Even when I kept saying, no, no, no, He's like, no, I'm going to keep trying, I'm going
to keep trying, because you're mine.
He wasn't giving up on me.
Stop thinking about your sins, and start thinking about God's love.
I'm a sinner, but I'm saved and redeemed.
I could never in a million years think that I would be able to say that I'm not an alcoholic
anymore.
But Jesus broke those chains, man.