WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.600 Wow, we've got a really small crowd here tonight. 2 00:00:04.920 --> 00:00:07.240 All right, we're gonna get started here in a second. 3 00:00:07.240 --> 00:00:09.520 I have a feeling a bunch of people are about to roll on, 4 00:00:09.520 --> 00:00:14.520 so we'll just give it a couple more minutes here. 5 00:00:17.280 --> 00:00:19.280 I'm gonna be releasing some ideas, 6 00:00:19.280 --> 00:00:20.600 but we're also gonna love seat. 7 00:00:20.600 --> 00:00:23.600 So if you have something for the love seat, 8 00:00:23.600 --> 00:00:25.720 get ready to jump in. 9 00:00:25.720 --> 00:00:27.640 And for those of you that have never been to a love seat, 10 00:00:27.680 --> 00:00:31.240 I will explain what that is in just a moment. 11 00:00:31.240 --> 00:00:34.400 It's gonna give everyone an opportunity to roll in here 12 00:00:34.400 --> 00:00:36.960 so we don't have a big disruption 13 00:00:36.960 --> 00:00:41.440 because it's not normal for us to have 43 people. 14 00:00:41.440 --> 00:00:44.080 So let's just wait here and see for a second. 15 00:00:57.640 --> 00:01:22.640 All right, let's get started. 16 00:01:23.520 --> 00:01:28.800 All right, so welcome to our all community event 17 00:01:28.800 --> 00:01:30.920 for this week, it is love seats. 18 00:01:30.920 --> 00:01:32.720 For those of you that have never attended a love seat, 19 00:01:32.720 --> 00:01:35.080 it's kind of like Ask Jackie, but in real time. 20 00:01:35.080 --> 00:01:37.280 So you get to jump in the love seat. 21 00:01:37.280 --> 00:01:39.280 I will answer some questions 22 00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:41.040 that people have already put to me. 23 00:01:41.040 --> 00:01:44.440 And if there isn't anyone who wants to go public 24 00:01:44.440 --> 00:01:47.360 with their question, but if you do have a question, 25 00:01:47.360 --> 00:01:48.680 you don't have to be in a relationship 26 00:01:48.680 --> 00:01:49.520 to get in the love seat. 27 00:01:49.520 --> 00:01:51.880 Maybe you get in the love seat about something 28 00:01:51.880 --> 00:01:54.960 that happened on a dating app or something 29 00:01:54.960 --> 00:01:58.120 that you're wondering about with a question 30 00:01:58.120 --> 00:02:01.240 with relationship, dating, whatever, it doesn't matter. 31 00:02:01.240 --> 00:02:03.320 It doesn't have to be necessarily something 32 00:02:03.320 --> 00:02:04.760 that you are living out. 33 00:02:04.760 --> 00:02:06.960 It can be something that you want to have answered 34 00:02:06.960 --> 00:02:08.400 before you live it out. 35 00:02:08.400 --> 00:02:11.720 And so all of that is what we do on love seats. 36 00:02:11.720 --> 00:02:15.160 It is a co-ed session. 37 00:02:15.160 --> 00:02:17.720 So there are guys here as well. 38 00:02:17.720 --> 00:02:20.960 And so we will definitely have a good time. 39 00:02:21.000 --> 00:02:22.640 I want to make a few announcements, 40 00:02:22.640 --> 00:02:24.840 community announcements just really quickly. 41 00:02:25.680 --> 00:02:28.320 I talked to our developer for the app today. 42 00:02:28.320 --> 00:02:30.640 Okay, so I want to explain something. 43 00:02:30.640 --> 00:02:32.280 So there's two different apps. 44 00:02:33.280 --> 00:02:35.240 I know, crazy, right? 45 00:02:35.240 --> 00:02:36.360 Double portion. 46 00:02:36.360 --> 00:02:38.240 There's two different apps. 47 00:02:38.240 --> 00:02:41.440 Before we had zero apps and now we have two. 48 00:02:41.440 --> 00:02:43.640 And so really excited about that. 49 00:02:43.640 --> 00:02:47.440 Okay, so the first app is a community app 50 00:02:47.440 --> 00:02:49.120 just like this last year single. 51 00:02:49.120 --> 00:02:51.520 Right now we deliver last year single 52 00:02:51.520 --> 00:02:55.200 over Facebook and Zoom, right? 53 00:02:55.200 --> 00:02:58.160 And so that is what we kind of piece together, 54 00:02:58.160 --> 00:03:02.240 tape together in order to do our community. 55 00:03:02.240 --> 00:03:04.320 And then of course, all of your community, 56 00:03:04.320 --> 00:03:06.640 all the talking that you do with each other and us 57 00:03:06.640 --> 00:03:08.440 happens in these Facebook groups. 58 00:03:08.440 --> 00:03:09.520 I don't know if you guys have noticed, 59 00:03:09.520 --> 00:03:12.000 but Facebook has really changed. 60 00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:13.640 And it's always changing. 61 00:03:13.640 --> 00:03:17.000 And it's really unpredictable what changes are being made. 62 00:03:17.000 --> 00:03:18.840 I know that we can no longer live stream 63 00:03:19.520 --> 00:03:20.560 from other platforms into Facebook. 64 00:03:20.560 --> 00:03:24.000 We used to live stream our Zoom sessions into the group 65 00:03:24.000 --> 00:03:26.560 and just different things that we can't do anymore. 66 00:03:26.560 --> 00:03:29.720 So we paid a lot of money. 67 00:03:31.440 --> 00:03:34.120 It's the most expensive thing that I've ever purchased 68 00:03:34.120 --> 00:03:36.040 for this business. 69 00:03:36.040 --> 00:03:40.080 And we had a custom app created for us 70 00:03:40.080 --> 00:03:43.640 in which to deliver all of the educational content. 71 00:03:43.640 --> 00:03:44.840 So right now, you guys, 72 00:03:44.840 --> 00:03:47.160 you have all of your educational content, 73 00:03:47.160 --> 00:03:49.000 whether you're in phase one, two, or three, 74 00:03:49.000 --> 00:03:50.560 you have it over Kajabi, 75 00:03:50.560 --> 00:03:52.680 you have that JackieDorman.com portal 76 00:03:52.680 --> 00:03:54.960 where you go to watch your lessons 77 00:03:54.960 --> 00:03:57.000 or look at your worksheets or whatever. 78 00:03:57.000 --> 00:04:00.120 All of that is gonna be in one place from now on. 79 00:04:00.120 --> 00:04:03.280 You'll be able to download that app off the App Store, 80 00:04:03.280 --> 00:04:06.840 okay, off the Apple App Store. 81 00:04:06.840 --> 00:04:09.560 And then you will be able to use your login credentials 82 00:04:09.560 --> 00:04:11.440 because you are a member of this community 83 00:04:11.440 --> 00:04:12.600 and you're a paying member, 84 00:04:12.600 --> 00:04:14.480 a subscription member of this community 85 00:04:14.480 --> 00:04:15.880 to log into that app. 86 00:04:15.880 --> 00:04:17.720 And for those of you in phase three, guess what? 87 00:04:17.720 --> 00:04:18.800 Right there at your fingertips, 88 00:04:18.800 --> 00:04:21.480 you'll have access to phase two and phase one content. 89 00:04:22.640 --> 00:04:24.240 Right, if you're only in phase one, 90 00:04:24.240 --> 00:04:25.360 then that's all you'll see. 91 00:04:25.360 --> 00:04:26.800 And of course, those people aren't here right now, 92 00:04:26.800 --> 00:04:27.640 so they can't hear me 93 00:04:27.640 --> 00:04:29.880 because they don't have access to this loveseat. 94 00:04:29.880 --> 00:04:32.600 But phase one people, those are the hard work people. 95 00:04:32.600 --> 00:04:34.480 They'll be kind of in their own little bubble on the app 96 00:04:34.480 --> 00:04:36.720 where they only have access to certain things. 97 00:04:36.720 --> 00:04:37.960 But then when they get to phase two, 98 00:04:37.960 --> 00:04:40.760 they'll have access to phase one and phase two. 99 00:04:40.760 --> 00:04:42.400 And then when they get into phase three, 100 00:04:42.400 --> 00:04:45.520 like most of you, some phase two people are here as well. 101 00:04:46.200 --> 00:04:49.200 But they'll have access to phase three, two, and one 102 00:04:49.200 --> 00:04:50.240 on the app. 103 00:04:50.240 --> 00:04:52.920 And all of those will be in their own neat little, 104 00:04:54.960 --> 00:04:56.440 what do we call that group? 105 00:04:56.440 --> 00:05:00.200 Neat little group on the app, very intuitive. 106 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:02.720 you know, you'll be able to click on that. 107 00:05:02.720 --> 00:05:05.640 And then in that very easy to see at the top, 108 00:05:05.640 --> 00:05:08.560 there are tabs where it's like, here's my community. 109 00:05:08.560 --> 00:05:11.120 That's that feed that you guys have on your Facebook groups 110 00:05:11.120 --> 00:05:13.080 where you can talk and chat and ask questions 111 00:05:13.080 --> 00:05:15.280 and do all the things that looks exactly the same. 112 00:05:15.280 --> 00:05:16.620 And it's just as easy to use. 113 00:05:16.620 --> 00:05:17.460 It's not clunky. 114 00:05:17.460 --> 00:05:20.240 It's just as easy to use as Facebook in that way. 115 00:05:20.240 --> 00:05:22.640 And then there's another tab that says today. 116 00:05:22.640 --> 00:05:24.880 And it's just telling you, hey, what's going on today? 117 00:05:24.880 --> 00:05:26.860 Is there a live today? 118 00:05:26.860 --> 00:05:28.600 Is there any homework due today? 119 00:05:28.620 --> 00:05:30.860 For those of you that have homework in phase one, 120 00:05:30.860 --> 00:05:33.420 is there a co-ed community event? 121 00:05:33.420 --> 00:05:34.740 Is there this, is there that? 122 00:05:34.740 --> 00:05:38.620 What's going on today in last year single? 123 00:05:38.620 --> 00:05:41.700 And then is there a deadline for last trip single? 124 00:05:41.700 --> 00:05:43.840 Is there something that I need to make sure I register for 125 00:05:43.840 --> 00:05:45.580 if I wanna go on that trip? 126 00:05:45.580 --> 00:05:47.140 All of that today. 127 00:05:47.140 --> 00:05:49.600 And then the next tab will be curriculum. 128 00:05:50.460 --> 00:05:52.980 Actually the second tab, community curriculum. 129 00:05:52.980 --> 00:05:55.060 So all of your curriculum in one place, 130 00:05:55.060 --> 00:05:57.260 really easy to access all your videos, 131 00:05:57.260 --> 00:05:58.760 all your homework, all your reading, 132 00:05:58.760 --> 00:06:01.400 anything and everything that you might want. 133 00:06:01.400 --> 00:06:02.580 Then there's the today tab. 134 00:06:02.580 --> 00:06:03.800 Then there's a replay tab. 135 00:06:03.800 --> 00:06:05.080 There's an event tab. 136 00:06:05.080 --> 00:06:07.120 So it shows you all the events coming up 137 00:06:07.120 --> 00:06:08.680 for the next several months. 138 00:06:08.680 --> 00:06:11.600 Right there with the event is the date and time 139 00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:12.960 and link y'all. 140 00:06:12.960 --> 00:06:14.280 No more, where's the link? 141 00:06:14.280 --> 00:06:15.120 Where's the link? 142 00:06:15.120 --> 00:06:16.600 I don't understand where the link is. 143 00:06:16.600 --> 00:06:19.240 You just go to the event tab and there's the link. 144 00:06:19.240 --> 00:06:22.480 Click the link and then you're here magically, right? 145 00:06:22.480 --> 00:06:23.740 And if you look at the today tab, 146 00:06:23.740 --> 00:06:25.720 you'll know before you can look at the event tab, 147 00:06:25.720 --> 00:06:26.980 what's happening today. 148 00:06:27.640 --> 00:06:28.480 And so that's great. 149 00:06:28.480 --> 00:06:30.600 And then there'll be the beautiful replay tab. 150 00:06:30.600 --> 00:06:32.760 So all the replays will be there in real time. 151 00:06:32.760 --> 00:06:35.000 If you miss it, you can just click on the replay tab 152 00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:36.840 and catch up on whatever you missed. 153 00:06:36.840 --> 00:06:37.680 Are you excited? 154 00:06:37.680 --> 00:06:38.880 Because I'm super excited. 155 00:06:39.760 --> 00:06:41.720 But you know what else will live inside this app? 156 00:06:41.720 --> 00:06:44.360 Our single cities will live inside this app. 157 00:06:44.360 --> 00:06:45.240 That's right. 158 00:06:45.240 --> 00:06:47.440 Your single cities will no longer be on Facebook either. 159 00:06:47.440 --> 00:06:48.560 You'll have your single cities 160 00:06:48.560 --> 00:06:50.800 and guess what will be in each of your single cities? 161 00:06:50.800 --> 00:06:53.720 Your community, your what's happening today, 162 00:06:53.720 --> 00:06:55.740 the upcoming events for your single city 163 00:06:55.740 --> 00:06:59.080 and any type of other resources that you need. 164 00:06:59.080 --> 00:07:00.240 Also, I forgot to mention, 165 00:07:00.240 --> 00:07:03.280 there's a resource tab on each of your phases as well 166 00:07:03.280 --> 00:07:05.120 that gives you access to extras 167 00:07:05.120 --> 00:07:07.520 that you might want to get involved with. 168 00:07:07.520 --> 00:07:09.340 Maybe you want a one-on-one coaching call. 169 00:07:09.340 --> 00:07:11.060 Maybe you want this, maybe you want that. 170 00:07:11.060 --> 00:07:14.360 Maybe you wanna know what book Jackie was talking about 171 00:07:14.360 --> 00:07:15.200 when she was talking. 172 00:07:15.200 --> 00:07:16.560 It'll all be in the resource tab 173 00:07:16.560 --> 00:07:18.040 and you can just look there and say, 174 00:07:18.040 --> 00:07:21.480 sweet, there it is, I got it, right? 175 00:07:21.480 --> 00:07:23.080 The quiz for attachment style, 176 00:07:23.080 --> 00:07:24.420 right there in your resource tab. 177 00:07:24.440 --> 00:07:25.600 Anything that you missed, 178 00:07:25.600 --> 00:07:27.540 anything that you wanna find right there 179 00:07:27.540 --> 00:07:30.240 in your resource tab in whatever phase 180 00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:31.880 of the community you are in. 181 00:07:31.880 --> 00:07:32.840 But that's not all. 182 00:07:34.080 --> 00:07:38.600 Also, with your single cities in this app, 183 00:07:38.600 --> 00:07:41.440 will be the precursor to our second app. 184 00:07:41.440 --> 00:07:43.300 Remember I told you there's two apps? 185 00:07:43.300 --> 00:07:47.680 Well, the other app is a community-based matchmaking app. 186 00:07:47.680 --> 00:07:50.600 You guys, it's unlike any app that has ever existed. 187 00:07:50.600 --> 00:07:52.480 How many of you would get on a dating app 188 00:07:52.480 --> 00:07:54.980 if you knew there was no stranger danger there? 189 00:07:54.980 --> 00:07:56.420 How many of you would get on a dating app 190 00:07:56.420 --> 00:07:58.680 if you knew that every single person on that app 191 00:07:58.680 --> 00:08:01.220 was known by other people on that app 192 00:08:01.220 --> 00:08:02.820 and on their best behavior? 193 00:08:02.820 --> 00:08:04.180 How many of you would get on an app 194 00:08:04.180 --> 00:08:05.900 if you knew that everyone on that app 195 00:08:05.900 --> 00:08:08.700 was marriage-minded and there for the same reason, 196 00:08:08.700 --> 00:08:10.480 to meet community, friends, 197 00:08:10.480 --> 00:08:12.380 and hopefully their spirit mate? 198 00:08:12.380 --> 00:08:13.860 How many of you would get on an app 199 00:08:13.860 --> 00:08:15.700 that belonged to Jackie Dorman? 200 00:08:15.700 --> 00:08:18.300 And that's what's gonna happen right now. 201 00:08:18.300 --> 00:08:19.780 And you're gonna be able to go there. 202 00:08:19.780 --> 00:08:20.620 And guess what? 203 00:08:20.620 --> 00:08:23.520 I talked to that developer today, 204 00:08:23.520 --> 00:08:26.780 and they let me know that if everything keeps moving, 205 00:08:26.780 --> 00:08:31.780 that app is gonna be ready to go by the end of spring, 206 00:08:32.320 --> 00:08:33.400 the beginning of summer. 207 00:08:33.400 --> 00:08:34.440 So right around June 1st. 208 00:08:34.440 --> 00:08:37.280 But the good news is is that in our app 209 00:08:37.280 --> 00:08:38.120 that we'll already have, 210 00:08:38.120 --> 00:08:41.880 our curriculum community app that I just told you about, 211 00:08:41.880 --> 00:08:44.840 we're gonna have a precursor to our dating app. 212 00:08:44.840 --> 00:08:46.840 We're gonna move Single Nation off of Facebook. 213 00:08:46.840 --> 00:08:49.200 We're gonna put it right there on our app. 214 00:08:49.200 --> 00:08:51.740 And once again, that is going to be the beginning 215 00:08:51.740 --> 00:08:54.340 of what is coming at the beginning of June. 216 00:08:54.340 --> 00:08:55.180 Who's excited? 217 00:08:55.180 --> 00:08:58.820 Because I know I'm super excited, super excited. 218 00:08:58.820 --> 00:09:02.300 And once again, inside of that app app, okay, 219 00:09:02.300 --> 00:09:05.620 the last year single dating community-based matchmaking app, 220 00:09:05.620 --> 00:09:07.820 there's going to be the opportunity 221 00:09:07.820 --> 00:09:09.280 to be friends with people, 222 00:09:09.280 --> 00:09:11.260 the opportunity to be romantic with people. 223 00:09:11.260 --> 00:09:13.620 You'll be able to let them know which one you see them in 224 00:09:13.620 --> 00:09:14.620 and put them in. 225 00:09:14.620 --> 00:09:15.820 I wanna forge community. 226 00:09:15.820 --> 00:09:17.980 Men and women can be more than just lovers. 227 00:09:18.000 --> 00:09:19.440 They can also be friends. 228 00:09:19.440 --> 00:09:21.520 And so it's important that we have community 229 00:09:21.520 --> 00:09:24.480 where people are feeling accepted, seen, known and loved, 230 00:09:24.480 --> 00:09:28.240 where we are being wing men and wing women for each other. 231 00:09:28.240 --> 00:09:31.040 There'll be the opportunity to match each other on that app, 232 00:09:31.040 --> 00:09:32.320 all different types of things 233 00:09:32.320 --> 00:09:35.240 and fun things happening there on that. 234 00:09:35.240 --> 00:09:37.520 And we're continuing to make changes with that 235 00:09:37.520 --> 00:09:40.800 as we're working with a fantastic developer 236 00:09:40.800 --> 00:09:43.440 on making that a dream come true. 237 00:09:43.440 --> 00:09:45.400 All right, so I just wanna let you guys know. 238 00:09:45.400 --> 00:09:47.000 And you guys, listen, 239 00:09:47.000 --> 00:09:49.820 I know and I understand that 240 00:09:49.820 --> 00:09:51.900 there's a lot of scary things happening this year. 241 00:09:51.900 --> 00:09:53.420 This is an election year, right? 242 00:09:53.420 --> 00:09:55.780 And that in itself is just like, 243 00:09:55.780 --> 00:09:56.860 and then we just have to remember 244 00:09:56.860 --> 00:09:59.660 that there's a king on the throne and his name is Jesus. 245 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:05.280 right? So we can't get all upset about the economy, all upset about this, all upset about that. 246 00:10:05.280 --> 00:10:10.560 We can't let our praying knees get lazy. We got to be praying. We got to be interceding. 247 00:10:11.680 --> 00:10:16.560 And that's why we do what we do with prayer and all the different things in this community, 248 00:10:16.560 --> 00:10:21.360 because we believe that regardless of what the problem is in culture, we're the solution. 249 00:10:22.160 --> 00:10:26.080 And not only are we the solution, but our marriages are the solution and the families 250 00:10:26.080 --> 00:10:30.320 that we build in those marriages are the solution. You come from a crazy, crazy, 251 00:10:30.320 --> 00:10:35.680 crazy crappy family. No problem. The family that you build with your spirit mate is more 252 00:10:35.680 --> 00:10:39.840 important than the family that you came from. And so we can change things and that's what we're here 253 00:10:39.840 --> 00:10:45.200 to do. Okay. And there'll be all kinds of opportunities to better yourself in this app 254 00:10:45.200 --> 00:10:50.000 platform, because we're going to have different coaches on there for different areas of our lives, 255 00:10:50.000 --> 00:10:55.040 like health and wellness, all kinds of affiliate situations where whatever you need to work on in 256 00:10:55.040 --> 00:11:00.000 your last year single, I think people forget. That's why we call it that. We call it your last 257 00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:05.200 year single. Why did we change the name from married in 12 months or less to last year single? 258 00:11:05.200 --> 00:11:11.440 Well, because of a trademark violation. Number one, married in 12 months or less was my God idea. 259 00:11:11.440 --> 00:11:16.000 God gave me that, but then I got into a partnership and they stole it and they trademarked it from 260 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:21.200 right under my nose. And that sucks. Still got that book of that name married in 12 months or 261 00:11:21.200 --> 00:11:26.800 less. Um, but I'm glad that it happened because it gave us the opportunity to really look at the 262 00:11:26.800 --> 00:11:31.680 two years of coaching that we had done and all the success stories that we had had. And it gave us 263 00:11:31.680 --> 00:11:36.240 the opportunity to take a look and say, Hey, you know what? God's single sons and daughters when 264 00:11:36.240 --> 00:11:41.440 they come in and the name is married in 12 months or less than they just have marriage brain. All 265 00:11:41.440 --> 00:11:45.840 they care about is where, where is he? Where is she? Where is he? Where is she? They're not thinking 266 00:11:45.840 --> 00:11:51.360 about becoming a better partner themselves. They're not thinking about, you know, expanding 267 00:11:51.360 --> 00:11:57.680 their personal portfolio, so to speak of their, their relationships and their health and their 268 00:11:57.680 --> 00:12:02.720 wealth and all those things. And so the question that God asked me was if people really thought 269 00:12:02.720 --> 00:12:12.320 that it was truly their last year single, what would they be focused on? Right. What's important. 270 00:12:12.320 --> 00:12:18.000 What's important for you to do in order to show up in a space where you can give and receive love 271 00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:22.480 and be the partner that you want to attract. What does that look like? And so that is what 272 00:12:22.480 --> 00:12:28.080 this community has become. And I'm happy to say that we've had, you know, every year exponentially 273 00:12:28.080 --> 00:12:34.960 more success stories, and we're going to continue to have that just got a, just got a wedding 274 00:12:34.960 --> 00:12:38.720 invitation in the mail today, y'all, and just got several, several engagement announcements 275 00:12:38.720 --> 00:12:45.440 the last couple of days. So God is great. He is. All right. So we're jumping to love seats. I think 276 00:12:45.440 --> 00:12:49.680 that was all the announcements that I wanted to do. So you guys, regardless of what's going on 277 00:12:49.680 --> 00:12:54.160 out there, remember your solutionary, that little $37 a month subscription that you, 278 00:12:54.960 --> 00:13:01.200 that you put into your love story that you so into your future partnership, it is worth it. 279 00:13:01.840 --> 00:13:07.200 It is just a couple specialty coffees and a couple fast food trips. That's all it is y'all. 280 00:13:07.760 --> 00:13:13.120 And just so you know, Chick-fil-A is not the Lord's chicken. It's not, they just released, 281 00:13:13.120 --> 00:13:22.800 they just released a announcement that they are no longer committed to no antibiotics. They used 282 00:13:22.800 --> 00:13:29.680 to have no antibiotics ever. That was their commitment. And now they're only committed to 283 00:13:29.760 --> 00:13:38.240 a few antibiotics. No, y'all. No, no. And you know why? Because the only reason that you would 284 00:13:38.240 --> 00:13:43.680 need to shoot chickens up with antibiotics is because supply needs to meet demand. You know, 285 00:13:43.680 --> 00:13:50.480 how many animals that you would have to like grow really fast in order to support that many fast 286 00:13:50.480 --> 00:13:58.000 food chains. And so less is better. Right. And I want you to apply that right now to your life. 287 00:13:58.000 --> 00:14:01.440 You're like, Jackie's off on a tangent about Chick-fil-A on our love seats. No, 288 00:14:02.000 --> 00:14:07.760 it's actually a lesson for all of us in this season of our lives. Remember March is about momentum. 289 00:14:08.800 --> 00:14:16.160 Less is more do less better. Please write it down. Do less better 290 00:14:17.280 --> 00:14:21.520 instead of being on four dating sites beyond one and be intentional. 291 00:14:23.680 --> 00:14:26.400 I know you have FOMO. I know you're like, well, what if they're over here? 292 00:14:27.360 --> 00:14:31.200 What if I joined the wrong one and I'm going to miss them? First of all, not possible. 293 00:14:32.160 --> 00:14:35.520 Can't miss your spirit, mate. When you're partnered with God and you're doing the work, 294 00:14:36.160 --> 00:14:39.840 you're not going to, if you miss them over here, you're just going to meet them over there. 295 00:14:40.480 --> 00:14:46.320 Do you know that me and my husband, David crossed paths probably thousands of times before we met 296 00:14:46.320 --> 00:14:52.400 each other. We had so many of the same friend group. We went to the same restaurant Sunday 297 00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:57.280 night after church. Y'all know the Pentecostals that go out Sunday night after church and eat a 298 00:14:57.280 --> 00:14:59.920 whole bunch of fried food and then go home and hope they don't get heart disease. 299 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:06.880 Yes, we were both going to those types of churches and every single Sunday after church, 300 00:15:06.880 --> 00:15:09.040 we went to one of two restaurants and guess what? 301 00:15:09.040 --> 00:15:10.920 There were always big groups of church people there. 302 00:15:10.920 --> 00:15:16.040 Not people necessarily from your church, but people from the types of churches that have 303 00:15:16.040 --> 00:15:22.080 church on Sunday night, which are usually charismatic, Pentecostal churches. 304 00:15:22.080 --> 00:15:25.080 And you guys, not just Sunday night, but Sunday morning and Wednesday night and Friday night 305 00:15:25.080 --> 00:15:28.680 and every, it's just like, they're worried if you don't go to church that you're going 306 00:15:28.680 --> 00:15:29.680 to go to hell. 307 00:15:29.680 --> 00:15:32.600 You got to be in church every single day of the week, right? 308 00:15:32.600 --> 00:15:34.080 We've got to keep you saved. 309 00:15:34.080 --> 00:15:39.120 Anyway, it's a whole different conversation, but you know how many times David and I were 310 00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:46.440 in the same restaurant at the same time now, granted, we were married to other people during 311 00:15:46.440 --> 00:15:47.440 that season. 312 00:15:47.440 --> 00:15:49.400 It wouldn't have been a good idea for us to meet yet. 313 00:15:49.400 --> 00:15:51.480 Would it have been? 314 00:15:51.480 --> 00:15:55.520 And all of you know the story that I went to that outdoor picnic with the pastor event 315 00:15:55.520 --> 00:16:01.320 at the mega church he worked at two years before I met him and saw him on a jumbotron 316 00:16:01.320 --> 00:16:04.920 as they were making a funny prank video on him because he was a youth pastor of that 317 00:16:04.920 --> 00:16:07.600 church and I knew him in my heart. 318 00:16:07.600 --> 00:16:09.880 I asked my friend who invited me, who's that guy? 319 00:16:09.880 --> 00:16:10.880 I know him. 320 00:16:10.880 --> 00:16:13.600 I must've gone to school with him or something because I know him. 321 00:16:13.600 --> 00:16:15.120 He's so familiar to me. 322 00:16:15.120 --> 00:16:19.720 Two years later, my neighbor, two years later, I found out about the video because I saw 323 00:16:19.720 --> 00:16:24.080 it again and realized he was the same person. 324 00:16:24.080 --> 00:16:25.080 What was that? 325 00:16:25.080 --> 00:16:26.520 It was a little God winks. 326 00:16:26.520 --> 00:16:27.520 You can't miss your spirit mate. 327 00:16:27.520 --> 00:16:32.320 So if we don't do anything else tonight, but take the fear off of you that you somehow 328 00:16:32.320 --> 00:16:36.680 have to make this happen and if you zig instead of zag, go left instead of right, if you're 329 00:16:36.680 --> 00:16:39.320 not in the right time at the right place, then it's not going to happen. 330 00:16:39.320 --> 00:16:41.760 Friends, it's not about that at all. 331 00:16:41.760 --> 00:16:47.080 We're working on the third and most important part of the trifecta. 332 00:16:47.080 --> 00:16:49.080 Right time, right place. 333 00:16:49.080 --> 00:16:55.040 God can give you divine appointments out the wazoo, right heart, right time, right place, 334 00:16:55.040 --> 00:16:56.040 right heart. 335 00:16:56.040 --> 00:17:02.360 Right now you're getting aligned and if you're aligned correctly here, then it doesn't matter 336 00:17:02.360 --> 00:17:04.599 where you are out here. 337 00:17:04.599 --> 00:17:09.040 You're going to have that divine intersection. 338 00:17:09.040 --> 00:17:11.839 Do you believe it? 339 00:17:11.839 --> 00:17:12.839 Do you believe it? 340 00:17:12.839 --> 00:17:18.200 Guys, even the rom-coms, the people are like passing like ships passing in the night and 341 00:17:18.200 --> 00:17:19.760 the whole time you're watching, you're biting your nails. 342 00:17:19.760 --> 00:17:21.880 When are they going to actually finally see each other? 343 00:17:21.880 --> 00:17:23.640 When are they going to finally act? 344 00:17:23.640 --> 00:17:24.640 And then they always do. 345 00:17:24.640 --> 00:17:25.640 Don't they? 346 00:17:25.640 --> 00:17:26.640 They always do. 347 00:17:26.640 --> 00:17:27.640 It's kismet. 348 00:17:27.640 --> 00:17:33.720 The good thing is, is we have something more powerful than kismet and it's called the Holy 349 00:17:33.720 --> 00:17:39.480 Spirit and he will do it. 350 00:17:39.480 --> 00:17:41.080 What does God say? 351 00:17:41.080 --> 00:17:48.400 He said at the right time, I says, says the Lord will do it. 352 00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:53.520 So your job is not about the right time or right place, but being the right person, being 353 00:17:53.520 --> 00:17:56.040 the right heart that's able to sustain that. 354 00:17:56.040 --> 00:18:00.120 If I could tell you story after story, a story, a story, a story tonight about so many people 355 00:18:00.120 --> 00:18:08.440 in this community that got up to bat and swung and missed because they weren't focused on 356 00:18:08.440 --> 00:18:14.520 the right things and they were just here with all kinds of stuff swirling. 357 00:18:14.520 --> 00:18:15.800 They got another chance at bat. 358 00:18:15.800 --> 00:18:16.800 Don't worry. 359 00:18:16.800 --> 00:18:17.800 Don't feel sorry for them. 360 00:18:18.200 --> 00:18:20.920 You have the opportunity to hit it out of the park. 361 00:18:20.920 --> 00:18:22.440 You do. 362 00:18:22.440 --> 00:18:24.560 And we're here to help you do that. 363 00:18:24.560 --> 00:18:25.560 All right. 364 00:18:25.560 --> 00:18:35.680 So a couple of different things that we want to cover during love seats is red flags. 365 00:18:35.680 --> 00:18:40.840 You guys, I often say this, everybody has yellow flags and I'm going to say it again. 366 00:18:40.840 --> 00:18:44.960 Everybody has yellow flags. 367 00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:50.080 But what makes a yellow flag green because yellow flags are not good. 368 00:18:50.080 --> 00:18:55.840 You guys, if you give, but we all have them, but if you give a yellow flag enough time 369 00:18:55.840 --> 00:19:00.080 and enough space, that yellow flag is either going to become green or it's going to become 370 00:19:00.080 --> 00:19:01.920 red. 371 00:19:01.920 --> 00:19:06.720 And how do we know the difference between which way it's going to go when we meet someone? 372 00:19:06.720 --> 00:19:11.520 So you meet someone, Laura, and you're having lunch with them. 373 00:19:11.520 --> 00:19:14.720 And because you've been in the heart work and you've been doing the work, you immediately 374 00:19:14.720 --> 00:19:18.600 as they're talking, start to notice little foxes in their conversation. 375 00:19:18.600 --> 00:19:20.360 You start to notice lies that they're believing. 376 00:19:20.360 --> 00:19:24.280 You start to notice yellow flags and it's going to happen. 377 00:19:24.280 --> 00:19:25.280 You guys, why? 378 00:19:25.280 --> 00:19:29.880 Because you're aware you're doing the work and some of you are already counselors and 379 00:19:29.880 --> 00:19:30.880 coaches and therapists. 380 00:19:30.880 --> 00:19:34.680 So you're already tuned into the red flags, except they're not red. 381 00:19:34.680 --> 00:19:35.680 They're yellow. 382 00:19:36.480 --> 00:19:44.720 Some are just blatantly red, abusive language, people that are degrading and disgusting and 383 00:19:44.720 --> 00:19:47.880 just all the dis words, that's immediate red. 384 00:19:47.880 --> 00:19:50.240 That's an immediate bless them and block them. 385 00:19:50.240 --> 00:19:53.840 I'm talking about the yellow flags, people that are laboring under lies that they're 386 00:19:53.840 --> 00:19:58.480 believing that's lives are not really where they need to be or where they should be, maybe 387 00:19:58.480 --> 00:19:59.960 even at their stage in life. 388 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:05.760 all the different things. So what do we do with that? We start to look for other evidence of 389 00:20:05.760 --> 00:20:13.360 whether or not this flag is going to stay and turn green or it's going to escalate to red. 390 00:20:15.680 --> 00:20:18.560 And you're not going to know that from just one conversation probably. 391 00:20:19.440 --> 00:20:23.920 So we don't want to mark people off the list simply because they have some yellow flags, 392 00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:28.000 they're still not, you know, they're in process, they're still not where they need to be in life. 393 00:20:28.000 --> 00:20:34.560 But as you're getting to know that person in the first couple meetings or conversations, 394 00:20:34.560 --> 00:20:39.040 you should be able to start to see a pattern of whether or not that thing is going to go 395 00:20:39.040 --> 00:20:44.640 one way or another. And it's basically one word. Does anyone know what it is? 396 00:20:50.640 --> 00:20:51.120 Teachable. 397 00:20:52.560 --> 00:20:56.800 Teachable could be a version of this word. So I'll go ahead and we'll go ahead and take that. 398 00:20:57.120 --> 00:21:00.960 We'll write that down. Teachable. And remember, we're not their teacher, 399 00:21:00.960 --> 00:21:07.840 right? We're not their teacher, but do they have a heart? Can you hear their 400 00:21:07.840 --> 00:21:14.160 hearts within their conversation that wants change or wants to upgrade? Okay, so good. 401 00:21:14.160 --> 00:21:19.840 What else? It's one word specifically that I'm looking for. 402 00:21:19.840 --> 00:21:24.400 Humility. 403 00:21:26.000 --> 00:21:31.840 Also a really great word. Definitely want to see people who are humble, who are not arrogant, 404 00:21:31.840 --> 00:21:36.400 because that makes them teachable, right? Accountable is also a good word. Those are 405 00:21:36.400 --> 00:21:41.440 all great words. So the word that I'm going for, I'm going to go ahead and give it to you guys is 406 00:21:41.520 --> 00:21:48.160 self-aware. Are they self-aware? 407 00:21:52.640 --> 00:21:59.680 It's one thing to have a problem, and it's another thing to know that you have a problem, okay? 408 00:22:03.840 --> 00:22:09.040 You guys, I know that we think of red flags. We think of all the really scary, crazy stuff, 409 00:22:09.040 --> 00:22:12.240 but I'm going to tell you a big red flag are thoughtless people. 410 00:22:14.960 --> 00:22:16.000 People that are thoughtless, 411 00:22:19.200 --> 00:22:25.280 you don't want to involve yourself with someone who's thoughtless, okay? Animals are unaware 412 00:22:25.280 --> 00:22:31.600 of how their behavior is affecting themselves and others. You can't watch the National Geographic 413 00:22:31.600 --> 00:22:37.920 and say, no, cheetah, don't kill that animal. That's so mean. It's cruel. Why would you do 414 00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:44.400 this thing? I mean, they don't care. They're unaware, right? It's the circle of life. 415 00:22:45.040 --> 00:22:50.960 It's the way it works. But human beings, we have been created higher than the animals and a little 416 00:22:50.960 --> 00:22:58.080 lower than the angels. And so it's important that we understand that part of being the way we are 417 00:22:58.080 --> 00:23:05.840 created is that God has created us to be very intuitive and very aware. And people that are 418 00:23:05.840 --> 00:23:14.240 thoughtless and unaware and not willing to become aware are people who do not want to take other 419 00:23:14.240 --> 00:23:22.400 people's feelings into consideration in their life, okay? It's a very, very immature, you know, 420 00:23:22.400 --> 00:23:32.240 stunted person. And we don't want that, right? And the thing is a lot of you will see that as 421 00:23:32.240 --> 00:23:42.560 a challenge to help them become aware. Now, if someone has made it to their 40s and 50s, 422 00:23:42.560 --> 00:23:47.520 it's not about being clueless. It's about literally being unaware. There are people like 423 00:23:47.520 --> 00:23:54.240 my son, bless his heart. He's got a soft heart. He's a good person. But he sometimes is like 424 00:23:54.800 --> 00:24:01.120 a deer in the headlights. So that's what I think of when I think of clueless. I think of my son 425 00:24:01.120 --> 00:24:06.240 sometimes. You guys, one time I said, oh, I'm going to throw these potatoes away. They have eyes. 426 00:24:06.240 --> 00:24:12.960 And he goes, oh my God, let me see. Really? They have eyes? And you guys, he wasn't a little kid. 427 00:24:14.160 --> 00:24:23.440 He was a grownup. And that's precious. So that might be a clueless situation. I don't 428 00:24:23.440 --> 00:24:27.440 understand what Vicky means when she says clueless. But you guys, I mean that they literally 429 00:24:28.080 --> 00:24:35.600 are thoughtless of other people. When they're going through the decisions that they're making 430 00:24:35.600 --> 00:24:41.360 in life, they're not taking other people and their lives into consideration. 431 00:24:42.720 --> 00:24:47.120 What might that look like? That might look like someone who gets behind the wheel of a car drunk. 432 00:24:49.360 --> 00:24:53.200 They don't care. They're thoughtless. They're thoughtless of the way 433 00:24:53.200 --> 00:24:59.760 their behavior affects other people's lives. Cause that's a red flag. That's not a yellow flag. 434 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:06.320 that's red. Let's go see, let's see if you guys understand what we're talking about. Go ahead and 435 00:25:06.320 --> 00:25:12.480 put some scenarios up in the chat that could be like immediate red flag. 436 00:25:20.800 --> 00:25:24.000 And guys, I know that we don't talk about this a lot because we're Christians and you know, 437 00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:28.240 even I have always encouraged you guys, you know, give grace, truth and time and all the things, 438 00:25:28.320 --> 00:25:36.880 but there comes a point in time when we have to say no. And so some of these things are subjective 439 00:25:36.880 --> 00:25:42.720 because people may not know that they're being manipulative. They may just be operating in 440 00:25:42.720 --> 00:25:48.000 what they have experienced in their life. They don't understand that their, their language is 441 00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:52.400 controlling. Okay. But if they're willing to be made aware of that and you're like, 442 00:25:52.400 --> 00:25:59.200 what does that look like? That looks like you saying to someone, Hey, um, okay. Like for instance, 443 00:25:59.200 --> 00:26:06.560 we had, we had a lady that said that the guy that she was talking to would call her without telling 444 00:26:06.560 --> 00:26:10.240 her he's going to call. They're just talking. There's texting right now. I don't think they 445 00:26:10.240 --> 00:26:18.320 even met in person would try to call her phone late at night. Okay. That's kind of thoughtless, 446 00:26:18.320 --> 00:26:23.120 right? It's like, Hey, you know, maybe you stay up late, but maybe I don't stay up late. 447 00:26:23.120 --> 00:26:28.480 You're not considering me in this situation. Right. And so then she would message him. 448 00:26:28.480 --> 00:26:32.720 She wouldn't answer the phone call and she wouldn't message right there. I think that's 449 00:26:32.720 --> 00:26:38.240 really great. If someone does something like that, that pushes your boundary, you don't have to say 450 00:26:38.240 --> 00:26:44.640 anything immediately about that. Like they call you late at night. You don't have to answer and 451 00:26:44.640 --> 00:26:48.720 explain to them while it's too late to talk. You don't have to do that. And you also don't have to 452 00:26:48.720 --> 00:26:52.560 message them and say, Hey, I saw that you called, but you know, I'm going to bed. I'll talk to you 453 00:26:52.560 --> 00:26:58.880 later. You don't have to do either of those things. You can just not answer. But then the next day, 454 00:26:58.880 --> 00:27:05.360 I believe she messaged and said, Hey, I saw you call. I saw you try to call last night at 1130. 455 00:27:05.360 --> 00:27:10.720 I just want to let you know that, you know, I keep early hours cause I get up early. So I go to bed 456 00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:16.640 by nine. So, you know, we'll, we'll need to schedule a time to talk. Can't just call me out 457 00:27:16.640 --> 00:27:21.280 of the blue, need to schedule a time to talk so that I can make sure I'm available when you're 458 00:27:21.280 --> 00:27:26.400 available. And it can't be after this certain time you guys, if someone says, Oh yeah, my bad, 459 00:27:26.400 --> 00:27:30.480 I'm sorry. I forgot what time it is. You know, I just stay up late or maybe they work second shift 460 00:27:30.480 --> 00:27:34.960 or, you know, that's just kind of like the afternoon to them or whatever. Cool. That means 461 00:27:34.960 --> 00:27:39.600 they're aware, right? Now they're aware they weren't aware, but now they're willing to be 462 00:27:39.600 --> 00:27:45.200 made aware. That's where that teachable word comes in, right? That educated word, you're able 463 00:27:45.200 --> 00:27:48.080 to educate them. You're not really teaching them, but you're letting them know something 464 00:27:48.080 --> 00:27:53.200 that they didn't know before. Now, if the person's just like, whatever, you must not want to talk to 465 00:27:53.200 --> 00:28:04.480 me then. Bye. What? Oh, you must not want to talk to me that bad. Or, Oh, you must, you know, 466 00:28:04.480 --> 00:28:10.000 you must really want to stay single. You know, why don't you take that stick out from up your butt? 467 00:28:11.760 --> 00:28:16.880 Okay. So now they just play all of their cards, right? And now you know that this person is 468 00:28:16.880 --> 00:28:21.600 selfish. They're thoughtless. They're unaware and they don't want to be made aware. And that's 469 00:28:21.600 --> 00:28:27.920 a red flag. Do you guys see it? Do you see the process of that? So someone does something 470 00:28:28.560 --> 00:28:35.520 that's yellow flag ish, and you very kindly call them on it. Not in a judgmental way, 471 00:28:36.160 --> 00:28:45.040 not in a self-righteous way, but in a, let me make you aware of this way. And their response to it 472 00:28:45.040 --> 00:28:53.120 is antagonistic or, you know, negative. Then that's that. But if their response is, Oh, I'm sorry. 473 00:28:53.120 --> 00:28:59.920 Yeah. I didn't think of that. Cool. Good. All right. Who wants to jump in the love seat? 474 00:29:05.200 --> 00:29:08.960 Someone put up in the comments, do they own their stuff? Let's talk about that for a second, 475 00:29:10.960 --> 00:29:14.640 right? So if someone comes and you're talking to them and you find out that they've been divorced 476 00:29:14.640 --> 00:29:18.080 and you know, one of the first things that I asked men and women, when I have a one-on-one 477 00:29:18.080 --> 00:29:22.560 call with them, if they've been divorced, I don't ask them why they're divorced. I ask them what 478 00:29:22.560 --> 00:29:30.400 they learned through their divorce. It is a much easier question to ask than why are you divorced? 479 00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:35.840 Some people don't want to talk about why they're divorced, but if, when I asked them, what did you 480 00:29:35.840 --> 00:29:40.400 learn through your divorce? If any version of their answer has to do with, I learned not to 481 00:29:40.400 --> 00:29:45.920 trust men or not to trust women. Or I learned that my former spouse is a narcissist or if it's any 482 00:29:45.920 --> 00:29:52.240 version of that, I know that they haven't owned their side of the street. Because you guys, no 483 00:29:52.240 --> 00:29:56.720 matter, I don't care if you were married to the devil themselves, you picked them. 484 00:29:57.680 --> 00:29:59.760 So you're an accomplice to this crime. 485 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.360 So you might learn that you're an enabler through your divorce. 486 00:30:05.360 --> 00:30:09.400 You might learn that, you know, that you have people-pleasing tendencies or you might learn 487 00:30:09.400 --> 00:30:10.880 this or you might learn that. 488 00:30:10.880 --> 00:30:18.800 I want to know what you learned and it better not be about the other person. 489 00:30:18.800 --> 00:30:19.800 About you. 490 00:30:19.800 --> 00:30:20.800 Hey, Jackie. 491 00:30:20.800 --> 00:30:26.000 I just wanted to say hello from my- 492 00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:27.000 Oh my gosh. 493 00:30:27.000 --> 00:30:28.000 Carla, did you have surgery today? 494 00:30:28.000 --> 00:30:29.000 Yes. 495 00:30:29.000 --> 00:30:30.000 Yes. 496 00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:31.000 I'm in the ICU room. 497 00:30:31.000 --> 00:30:32.000 That was so fast. 498 00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:33.000 I know. 499 00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:34.000 I just wanted- 500 00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:36.280 It was great for you on Supernatural Saturday and we believe with all of our hearts that 501 00:30:36.280 --> 00:30:39.120 you were not going to have any disease. 502 00:30:39.120 --> 00:30:40.120 Thank you. 503 00:30:40.120 --> 00:30:44.360 I just wanted to come on here and tell everybody and show everybody how well I'm doing and 504 00:30:44.360 --> 00:30:49.920 thank you for your prayers, which I haven't even seen yet, but I just wanted to say hello. 505 00:30:49.920 --> 00:30:50.920 Wow. 506 00:30:50.920 --> 00:30:51.920 Look at that, you guys. 507 00:30:51.920 --> 00:30:53.280 Supernatural Saturday. 508 00:30:53.280 --> 00:30:55.440 She went into the emergency room with a headache. 509 00:30:55.440 --> 00:30:59.560 They gave her terrible news that she had a mass in her brain and I just want you to 510 00:30:59.560 --> 00:31:01.560 know that she had the pervasive peace of Christ. 511 00:31:01.560 --> 00:31:04.800 I've never seen anyone take news like that so well. 512 00:31:04.800 --> 00:31:07.840 She was just like, hey, this is going to interrupt my move. 513 00:31:07.840 --> 00:31:08.840 I don't like this. 514 00:31:08.840 --> 00:31:12.800 I got plans and I got things to do, so get up out of my way. 515 00:31:12.800 --> 00:31:17.480 We prayed for her on Supernatural Saturday and then I got the news, I think yesterday, 516 00:31:17.480 --> 00:31:22.640 that it was not cancer or anything like that and that they were going to be able to remove 517 00:31:22.640 --> 00:31:23.640 it. 518 00:31:23.640 --> 00:31:24.640 Praise God. 519 00:31:24.840 --> 00:31:25.840 Praise God. 520 00:31:25.840 --> 00:31:26.840 Praise God. 521 00:31:26.840 --> 00:31:31.200 I am here to tell you, I had one of the biggest tumors they've ever seen. 522 00:31:31.200 --> 00:31:36.360 It was grapefruit size and the doctors got the entire thing and it was benign and I'm 523 00:31:36.360 --> 00:31:41.400 so grateful for all of you, for them, for Jesus, for even the doctor. 524 00:31:41.400 --> 00:31:47.080 My doctor's name was Carl, which is my dad's name and I just had so many anointings and 525 00:31:47.080 --> 00:31:49.720 blessings and everything else and he told me not to stop my plans. 526 00:31:49.720 --> 00:31:55.000 He told me that God had plans for me and he said, keep it going and have people delegated 527 00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:58.360 and you are anointed, you are meant to be doing these things. 528 00:31:58.360 --> 00:32:03.000 There's so many people who have spoken into me and loved me and I have met every exact 529 00:32:03.000 --> 00:32:08.320 right person at the right time for all of this to be happening and Jackie, I'm so grateful 530 00:32:08.320 --> 00:32:09.320 for you. 531 00:32:09.320 --> 00:32:12.920 I can't even tell you how much you have changed my life. 532 00:32:12.920 --> 00:32:16.160 And this testimony, this is just so powerful. 533 00:32:16.160 --> 00:32:17.560 You guys, won't he do it? 534 00:32:17.560 --> 00:32:18.560 Look at that. 535 00:32:18.560 --> 00:32:22.880 Everyone, everyone that's going through something right now, you know, Carla, I know you're 536 00:32:22.880 --> 00:32:26.160 lying in a hospital bed, but just pray over everyone who's going through something right 537 00:32:26.160 --> 00:32:30.120 now that they would have just that type of faith to see miracles. 538 00:32:30.120 --> 00:32:31.200 Please do that. 539 00:32:31.200 --> 00:32:38.200 There are miracles everywhere, every day and I am the proof that Jesus loves us this much. 540 00:32:38.200 --> 00:32:43.600 This is how much you are loved and how much you are favored and how much Jesus knows the 541 00:32:43.600 --> 00:32:48.120 calling on your life and that you are every single person in every moment that you're 542 00:32:48.120 --> 00:32:54.760 here on earth is meant to be loving and serving each other and I love that I have this message 543 00:32:54.760 --> 00:33:01.800 to share because that's how much Jesus loves me and I'm just so grateful for every single 544 00:33:01.800 --> 00:33:06.800 moment in my life and especially guys, the hardships, the sorrow, the suffering, the 545 00:33:06.800 --> 00:33:10.840 sin, all the things that I have done, all the things that I have caused, all the hurt 546 00:33:10.840 --> 00:33:13.920 that I have caused, all of the pain I have been through. 547 00:33:13.920 --> 00:33:18.520 I have been my, my second husband blessed by children. 548 00:33:18.520 --> 00:33:23.160 I have, I've been through so much and I have been able to forgive it all because Jesus 549 00:33:23.160 --> 00:33:24.160 showed me that. 550 00:33:24.160 --> 00:33:29.960 He showed me how to love the person and let this sin that see the hurting person that 551 00:33:29.960 --> 00:33:32.080 caused that sin themselves. 552 00:33:32.080 --> 00:33:34.240 They're not evil people. 553 00:33:34.240 --> 00:33:40.920 Everybody is good and deserves love and is love and we get to be Jesus and love them. 554 00:33:40.920 --> 00:33:45.320 We get to be the ones to love them and that's what I did for my second husband and that's 555 00:33:45.320 --> 00:33:48.880 what I've been doing my whole life is trying to show people how much they are loved and 556 00:33:48.880 --> 00:33:53.920 so everything Jackie says, everything you say about letting it all go, it's what exactly 557 00:33:53.920 --> 00:33:58.480 what we all need to have love in our lives and that's what I want everybody on this call 558 00:33:58.480 --> 00:34:03.040 and everywhere else to know is that this is how much you are loved and how much love you 559 00:34:03.040 --> 00:34:07.120 have to give from Jesus to everyone else on this planet while you're here. 560 00:34:07.120 --> 00:34:09.560 So don't waste a moment. 561 00:34:09.560 --> 00:34:11.960 It's, it's so important. 562 00:34:11.960 --> 00:34:15.600 Humanity needs us to be Jesus to them. 563 00:34:15.600 --> 00:34:16.600 Amen. 564 00:34:16.600 --> 00:34:17.600 Amen. 565 00:34:17.600 --> 00:34:18.600 Yes. 566 00:34:18.600 --> 00:34:19.600 Thank you, Carla. 567 00:34:19.600 --> 00:34:24.679 We continue to pray for your speedy healing, supernatural healing that's happening. 568 00:34:24.679 --> 00:34:28.760 That's just incredible and so crazy for any of you that are going through anything that 569 00:34:28.760 --> 00:34:34.360 seems insurmountable, just use your sister Carla here as an example of what God can and 570 00:34:34.360 --> 00:34:36.000 wants to do. 571 00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:41.440 He knows what you need and he knows how to get it to you and wow, wow, wow, wow. 572 00:34:41.440 --> 00:34:45.080 And I know that we've had all kinds of people on the prayer calls just recently needing 573 00:34:45.080 --> 00:34:46.679 miracles in their bodies. 574 00:34:46.679 --> 00:34:51.120 And so I want you to see that, you know, we prayed for a good report for Carla and she 575 00:34:51.120 --> 00:34:52.120 got that. 576 00:34:52.120 --> 00:34:53.120 She, that it was benign. 577 00:34:53.120 --> 00:34:56.440 It was also operable and now it's gone and wow. 578 00:34:56.440 --> 00:34:57.440 Right. 579 00:34:57.440 --> 00:34:58.440 Wow. 580 00:34:58.440 --> 00:34:59.440 So I want you to pray that over everyone else. 581 00:34:59.440 --> 00:35:00.440 Thank you. 582 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.840 you know, that you will have good reports, 583 00:35:00.440 --> 00:35:00.440 584 00:35:01.840 --> 00:35:03.360 that the only reports that you receive 585 00:35:03.360 --> 00:35:06.840 are reports from heaven about the fact that, 586 00:35:06.840 --> 00:35:09.680 you know, you are, that you're seen known and loved 587 00:35:09.680 --> 00:35:12.040 and that you are healed and that you are set free 588 00:35:12.040 --> 00:35:15.200 from any kind of dis-ease and disease in your bodies 589 00:35:15.200 --> 00:35:16.480 in Jesus name. 590 00:35:16.480 --> 00:35:18.920 And I pray that over myself as well. 591 00:35:18.920 --> 00:35:21.600 Okay, so we were talking about, 592 00:35:21.600 --> 00:35:23.400 that was a good holy interruption. 593 00:35:23.400 --> 00:35:26.020 We were talking about, you know, what do people learn? 594 00:35:26.020 --> 00:35:28.840 So it doesn't matter what's happened in people's lives, 595 00:35:28.840 --> 00:35:30.640 it's what did they learn from it? 596 00:35:30.640 --> 00:35:33.400 You know, we don't want to get into relationship 597 00:35:33.400 --> 00:35:35.540 with people who haven't learned anything 598 00:35:35.540 --> 00:35:36.380 from their mistakes. 599 00:35:36.380 --> 00:35:37.820 We all make mistakes. 600 00:35:37.820 --> 00:35:39.300 We've all made mistakes, 601 00:35:39.300 --> 00:35:41.180 but have they learned anything from their mistakes? 602 00:35:41.180 --> 00:35:42.540 That's the important thing. 603 00:35:42.540 --> 00:35:44.860 So I don't really remember what I was saying exactly 604 00:35:44.860 --> 00:35:46.900 before Carla came on and testified. 605 00:35:46.900 --> 00:35:47.740 Can someone remind me? 606 00:35:47.740 --> 00:35:50.920 I know I was talking about that I ask divorced people 607 00:35:50.920 --> 00:35:53.940 what they learned, but what else were we saying? 608 00:35:53.940 --> 00:35:55.660 Because I think it was important. 609 00:35:55.660 --> 00:35:57.500 Did they own their stuff? 610 00:35:57.500 --> 00:35:58.660 Oh, did they own their stuff? 611 00:35:59.320 --> 00:36:00.920 So thank you, Erin Joy. 612 00:36:00.920 --> 00:36:03.720 Okay, so here's the important caveat 613 00:36:03.720 --> 00:36:05.940 to what we're saying right now, okay? 614 00:36:07.120 --> 00:36:11.000 They don't have to own what you think they have to own. 615 00:36:11.000 --> 00:36:12.040 All right? 616 00:36:12.040 --> 00:36:15.120 So don't sit in judgment of what you think their stuff is. 617 00:36:17.380 --> 00:36:21.420 That's very important because you don't know the story. 618 00:36:21.420 --> 00:36:23.200 You don't know the story, that's their story. 619 00:36:23.200 --> 00:36:25.420 And they may not tell it to you because guess what? 620 00:36:25.420 --> 00:36:27.120 You know, it might be on a need to know basis 621 00:36:27.140 --> 00:36:28.900 and you don't need to know yet 622 00:36:28.900 --> 00:36:30.540 because you don't know them that well. 623 00:36:30.540 --> 00:36:32.200 And you guys know that I'm a huge proponent 624 00:36:32.200 --> 00:36:37.200 of not spilling your guts to someone that you barely know. 625 00:36:39.060 --> 00:36:40.340 It's very uncomfortable. 626 00:36:40.340 --> 00:36:41.520 It just happened to me the other day. 627 00:36:41.520 --> 00:36:43.380 I was at a conference and this woman came up 628 00:36:43.380 --> 00:36:46.060 and started talking to the woman that I was talking to. 629 00:36:46.060 --> 00:36:48.960 And she was introduced by another woman. 630 00:36:48.960 --> 00:36:52.000 And remember, no one here knows each other. 631 00:36:52.000 --> 00:36:54.680 And I'm talking to my friend who I know. 632 00:36:54.680 --> 00:36:56.480 And this woman comes up to talk to her 633 00:36:56.820 --> 00:36:58.820 because someone else wanted to introduce them. 634 00:36:58.820 --> 00:37:01.580 And the conversation starts out normal enough. 635 00:37:01.580 --> 00:37:03.380 And my friend's not even a minister. 636 00:37:04.300 --> 00:37:06.180 She's not a pastor, she's not a preacher. 637 00:37:06.180 --> 00:37:08.780 She's not like, you know, a therapist or anything. 638 00:37:08.780 --> 00:37:10.900 And this girl, after she's made this, 639 00:37:10.900 --> 00:37:14.000 this woman, after she's made this connection, 640 00:37:14.000 --> 00:37:17.460 she just starts airing all her dirty laundry to my friend, 641 00:37:17.460 --> 00:37:20.120 just starts talking about all of this stuff. 642 00:37:20.120 --> 00:37:23.700 And my friend is kind of an introverted personality. 643 00:37:23.700 --> 00:37:25.580 So I can tell she's getting really uncomfortable 644 00:37:25.600 --> 00:37:26.920 and she doesn't really know what to say. 645 00:37:26.920 --> 00:37:30.200 And she's like, oh, okay, uh-huh, uh-huh. 646 00:37:30.200 --> 00:37:31.160 And I'm like... 647 00:37:34.080 --> 00:37:36.120 So I kind of intervened and I'm like, 648 00:37:36.120 --> 00:37:38.880 hey, our lunch is getting cold, you know, like... 649 00:37:40.360 --> 00:37:44.560 But you guys, not only is it not good for you to do that, 650 00:37:44.560 --> 00:37:46.800 it's also really uncomfortable for a lot of people. 651 00:37:46.800 --> 00:37:49.160 Now, if you get another overshare, 652 00:37:49.160 --> 00:37:52.500 then you might be talking all night and comparing war stories 653 00:37:52.500 --> 00:37:54.280 but if you don't get an overshare, 654 00:37:54.280 --> 00:37:58.220 then you're probably going to leave that conversation 655 00:37:58.220 --> 00:37:59.900 with a vulnerability hangover, 656 00:37:59.900 --> 00:38:01.340 feeling like you said too much 657 00:38:01.340 --> 00:38:03.660 and you shared things you shouldn't have shared 658 00:38:03.660 --> 00:38:05.480 and then you might not even want to see that person again 659 00:38:05.480 --> 00:38:07.020 because now you're embarrassed. 660 00:38:08.980 --> 00:38:09.820 Right? 661 00:38:09.820 --> 00:38:11.900 Has that ever happened to anybody else? 662 00:38:11.900 --> 00:38:15.140 You talk too much, you told way personal things 663 00:38:15.140 --> 00:38:16.760 because you felt comfortable enough 664 00:38:16.760 --> 00:38:18.940 to just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, 665 00:38:18.940 --> 00:38:21.900 but then they didn't really reciprocate 666 00:38:21.900 --> 00:38:23.660 with any of their own stories. 667 00:38:23.660 --> 00:38:24.880 And then by the end of the night, 668 00:38:24.880 --> 00:38:26.880 you kind of just felt like you over-talked 669 00:38:26.880 --> 00:38:29.920 and talked about things that were not appropriate. 670 00:38:31.400 --> 00:38:32.680 Only four people? 671 00:38:32.680 --> 00:38:33.740 I don't believe that. 672 00:38:35.480 --> 00:38:37.280 Ever in your life, y'all. 673 00:38:37.280 --> 00:38:38.880 I don't say that you still do it. 674 00:38:38.880 --> 00:38:40.920 I'm just saying ever in your life. 675 00:38:44.080 --> 00:38:44.920 Okay. 676 00:38:49.400 --> 00:38:50.720 That's better. 677 00:38:50.720 --> 00:38:54.140 Okay, so someone said it's a red flag 678 00:38:54.140 --> 00:38:55.340 if they haven't owned their stuff, 679 00:38:55.340 --> 00:38:58.180 but remember, we don't get to be the judge 680 00:38:58.180 --> 00:39:00.300 of whether they owned it or not 681 00:39:00.300 --> 00:39:01.940 because we don't know what it is. 682 00:39:04.380 --> 00:39:07.140 That's something that you're going to have to learn 683 00:39:07.140 --> 00:39:09.620 about someone after you get to know them a lot more. 684 00:39:09.620 --> 00:39:13.620 All right, so does anyone want to jump in the love seat? 685 00:39:14.780 --> 00:39:17.200 Anyone have a dating question, 686 00:39:17.200 --> 00:39:19.180 something that happened on an app, 687 00:39:19.240 --> 00:39:20.280 something that you're... 688 00:39:20.280 --> 00:39:21.400 Yes, Evangeline. 689 00:39:22.480 --> 00:39:23.600 I do. 690 00:39:23.600 --> 00:39:24.860 Can you hear me? 691 00:39:24.860 --> 00:39:25.700 Yeah. 692 00:39:25.700 --> 00:39:26.800 Okay, perfect. 693 00:39:26.800 --> 00:39:31.200 Specifically, I will love your wisdom slash advice 694 00:39:31.200 --> 00:39:35.800 on what to do in the initial phases 695 00:39:35.800 --> 00:39:37.840 of just online dating 696 00:39:37.840 --> 00:39:40.660 if certain things touches on a heart wound. 697 00:39:40.660 --> 00:39:42.520 So I'll get into the specifics. 698 00:39:42.520 --> 00:39:45.840 I went on a first day with a guy last week 699 00:39:45.860 --> 00:39:50.580 and it really touched on the heart wound, 700 00:39:50.580 --> 00:39:55.580 specifically that God doesn't care about my preferences. 701 00:39:58.620 --> 00:40:00.100 So I'll give a little. 702 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.700 bit of context, like this guy's a little bit on the fluffier 703 00:40:02.700 --> 00:40:07.980 side, and I just like did not find myself physically attracted 704 00:40:07.980 --> 00:40:14.580 to him. And the guilt and shame in me and I think it's a lot of 705 00:40:14.580 --> 00:40:19.220 church baggage kept being like, well, you know, like, he's 706 00:40:19.220 --> 00:40:25.380 really, he's in church, like he goes to church, he crosses all 707 00:40:25.380 --> 00:40:29.920 the eyes, dots, dots, dots, dots, dots, eyes crosses a tease, 708 00:40:29.920 --> 00:40:34.840 like you should give him another chance. And I am working through 709 00:40:34.840 --> 00:40:40.120 the heart wound that like God doesn't God does care about my 710 00:40:40.120 --> 00:40:42.960 preferences. And at the same time, I also want to like, 711 00:40:43.240 --> 00:40:46.360 withhold suspend judgment because it was just one 712 00:40:46.360 --> 00:40:52.560 interaction. And I love to process with you and hear. Yeah, 713 00:40:52.560 --> 00:40:56.580 just like your wisdom on that and how to proceed and move 714 00:40:56.580 --> 00:41:00.900 forward with that. He wants a second date. And I'm kind of 715 00:41:00.900 --> 00:41:02.180 like, I'm not sure. 716 00:41:02.940 --> 00:41:07.020 Okay, let me ask you a question. So I hear I hear like, what's 717 00:41:07.020 --> 00:41:09.580 kind of a turnoff for you? But what did you like about him? 718 00:41:09.580 --> 00:41:12.580 Besides that he goes to church? Besides that he goes to church? 719 00:41:12.600 --> 00:41:17.860 What else? I like that he paid for my coffee. Okay, good. Okay. 720 00:41:18.520 --> 00:41:20.800 So plus one. Okay, what else? 721 00:41:24.720 --> 00:41:27.160 I mean, it's just one date. So you don't know that much about 722 00:41:27.160 --> 00:41:29.920 him. But was there anything else? Was he funny? Did the 723 00:41:29.920 --> 00:41:32.640 conversation flow? Do you have conversational chemistry? Do you 724 00:41:32.640 --> 00:41:34.040 have anything in common? 725 00:41:34.240 --> 00:41:43.640 I think we I felt like I could like intellectually spar with 726 00:41:43.640 --> 00:41:46.840 him. But at the same time, I don't know if that's something 727 00:41:46.840 --> 00:41:49.700 I'm looking for in a person. 728 00:41:51.380 --> 00:41:54.280 Well, I will tell you that people that are intelligent, 729 00:41:54.340 --> 00:41:57.100 okay, and also good conversationalists, they are 730 00:41:57.100 --> 00:42:00.740 what I call sapiosexuals, meaning that they really need to 731 00:42:00.740 --> 00:42:05.780 have intellectual stimulus in order to be long term attracted 732 00:42:05.780 --> 00:42:09.020 to someone. I mean, it's easy to be attracted to someone who's 733 00:42:09.020 --> 00:42:11.300 eye candy right at the start, you know, someone who's 734 00:42:11.300 --> 00:42:16.000 objectively good looking. But going forward in relationship, 735 00:42:16.180 --> 00:42:20.860 you know, there has to be other deeper attractions, right? Guys, 736 00:42:20.860 --> 00:42:23.460 there's something more important than butterflies. And of course, 737 00:42:23.460 --> 00:42:25.600 evangeline wouldn't need wouldn't be able to know this 738 00:42:25.600 --> 00:42:29.540 from one date. Okay. But as you get to know someone, and 739 00:42:29.540 --> 00:42:32.540 remember, it's a yes until it's a no, I but I want to address 740 00:42:32.540 --> 00:42:34.940 God and God caring about our preferences. I want to address 741 00:42:34.940 --> 00:42:38.420 all that in this. But I just want to say this first, is that 742 00:42:39.980 --> 00:42:42.760 the more important thing than butterflies when you first meet 743 00:42:42.760 --> 00:42:46.140 someone, I mean, butterflies feel fun. But I will tell you 744 00:42:46.140 --> 00:42:50.420 infatuation scientifically has proven that it cannot last 745 00:42:50.420 --> 00:42:55.180 longer than 24 months. And that's long. Okay, most 746 00:42:55.180 --> 00:42:59.420 infatuation, ebbs and flows at the beginning, and then you 747 00:42:59.420 --> 00:43:01.740 might have like a burst of it. And that's why they call it like 748 00:43:01.740 --> 00:43:04.940 a second honeymoon, even in marriage, where this person that 749 00:43:04.940 --> 00:43:08.660 you know, really well has like sparked you again, somehow, and 750 00:43:08.660 --> 00:43:10.780 you're like in a second honeymoon phase, not that you 751 00:43:10.780 --> 00:43:13.400 don't always love that person. But it feels like the beginning 752 00:43:13.400 --> 00:43:15.240 again, it feels like the butterflies, and you're so 753 00:43:15.240 --> 00:43:17.920 excited to see them and all the things, because y'all, that's 754 00:43:17.920 --> 00:43:22.120 not what marriage looks like. Okay, marriage looks like 755 00:43:22.300 --> 00:43:25.360 partnership. It looks like enjoying someone, it looks like 756 00:43:25.360 --> 00:43:29.600 a best friendship. You know, my husband, I'm always like, you're 757 00:43:29.600 --> 00:43:32.960 my best friend. You know, I like I couldn't imagine my life 758 00:43:32.960 --> 00:43:35.920 without him. He's the first person that I want to see when I 759 00:43:35.920 --> 00:43:38.280 wake up, he's the last person I want to see before I go to bed. 760 00:43:38.280 --> 00:43:40.820 He's the first person that I want to tell anything to good, 761 00:43:40.820 --> 00:43:43.940 bad, ugly, doesn't matter. He's the person that I want to tell 762 00:43:43.940 --> 00:43:47.060 all the things to. He's the person that's advice I want the 763 00:43:47.060 --> 00:43:50.640 most in my life. He's the person that I enjoy traveling with and 764 00:43:50.640 --> 00:43:54.100 spending time with. You know, I we make each other laugh, we 765 00:43:54.100 --> 00:43:56.620 have fun, we're very comfortable with each other, the sex is 766 00:43:56.620 --> 00:43:59.660 good, all the things and the sex is good, because all that other 767 00:43:59.660 --> 00:44:02.900 stuff is good, right? Because it's into me see. And so here's 768 00:44:02.900 --> 00:44:05.500 what I want to say, Evangeline about the situation. As someone 769 00:44:05.520 --> 00:44:13.680 who married a fat man, I have to say that. Well, my husband was 770 00:44:13.680 --> 00:44:18.960 fat when I married him like really fat. So he's lost a lot 771 00:44:18.960 --> 00:44:21.400 of weight recently. He's been working out and taking 772 00:44:21.400 --> 00:44:25.200 testosterone shots. Y'all all you men over 50. Look into that. 773 00:44:26.000 --> 00:44:30.160 But he definitely was. She called it fluffy. She's being 774 00:44:30.160 --> 00:44:34.200 nice, but he was just straight up fat. You know, he was a dress 775 00:44:34.200 --> 00:44:36.860 like a math teacher. And I was like, I can fix the math teacher 776 00:44:36.860 --> 00:44:40.500 part. But he was 36 years old. And he told me he said, Look, 777 00:44:40.500 --> 00:44:42.500 he's like, I'm gonna be in the best shape of my life by the 778 00:44:42.500 --> 00:44:48.060 time that I'm 4040 came and went 45 came and went 50 came and 779 00:44:48.060 --> 00:44:51.220 went and just recently in the last year, he's really been on a 780 00:44:51.220 --> 00:44:54.240 health journey. I'm really proud of it. But you guys you get over 781 00:44:54.240 --> 00:44:58.260 that. Because like, I was super attracted to him once I got to 782 00:44:58.260 --> 00:44:59.940 know him, it didn't matter that he was not 783 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:07.200 Skinny or not in shape at all. It didn't matter that he had man boobs. All right, I loved him and 784 00:45:08.240 --> 00:45:14.360 And you guys I was objectively hot. I just want to let you know. Yeah, I look okay now getting a lot of weight 785 00:45:14.360 --> 00:45:18.980 But then I was objectively hot. I could have married a pro athlete. You're 786 00:45:20.880 --> 00:45:22.880 Okay, thank you, but I was 787 00:45:22.980 --> 00:45:29.160 Smoking hot back then and so like, you know, I mean he definitely married up in that way back then 788 00:45:29.480 --> 00:45:30.660 but 789 00:45:30.660 --> 00:45:37.200 He has got he's so amazing. He's got such great character. The man can sing y'all 790 00:45:37.340 --> 00:45:41.120 Whoa, I didn't know that when I first met him Evangeline. I didn't know that 791 00:45:41.120 --> 00:45:45.760 I didn't know that until I knew him for several months like whoa, what an incredible he's a humble guy 792 00:45:45.760 --> 00:45:49.680 He didn't say oh, hey, by the way, I can sing you guys when we go to karaoke 793 00:45:49.680 --> 00:45:53.080 I mean everyone in the place stands up like they're at a frickin concert 794 00:45:53.880 --> 00:46:01.600 Okay, dude can sing and he's saying obviously on stage in a megachurch all I'm saying is that there's treasure in people and 795 00:46:02.360 --> 00:46:03.920 when we say 796 00:46:03.920 --> 00:46:08.340 Hey, I really hope that God cares about my preferences. God may be saying back to us 797 00:46:08.400 --> 00:46:12.680 Yeah, I do. But sometimes I give you the best thing. You never knew you even want it 798 00:46:12.680 --> 00:46:16.920 And so we have to be willing to search things out with people 799 00:46:17.680 --> 00:46:24.200 We have to be willing now if there's no chemistry, no conversational chemistry, no physical chemistry, no emotional chemistry 800 00:46:24.200 --> 00:46:28.100 No spiritual chemistry after we're getting to know someone then of course, he has to know 801 00:46:28.600 --> 00:46:31.280 They might have chemistry with someone else and no harm no foul 802 00:46:31.760 --> 00:46:36.320 but we definitely don't want to judge that on one meeting or one conversation if 803 00:46:36.880 --> 00:46:39.320 There's any any boxes check 804 00:46:39.320 --> 00:46:44.840 So I want to encourage all of you when you're talking to someone especially after you either FaceTime like, you know 805 00:46:44.840 --> 00:46:52.120 Meet them face-to-face whether it's a video chat or whether it's an in-person chat when you leave there as long as there wasn't something 806 00:46:52.840 --> 00:46:58.360 Inappropriate and arrogant and offensive that happened when you leave there and it was just like kind of like evangelion 807 00:46:58.360 --> 00:46:59.600 It was like it was okay 808 00:46:59.600 --> 00:47:06.560 You know, I want you instead of sitting and dwelling on what you weren't crazy about about the person 809 00:47:06.840 --> 00:47:10.160 You know like hey, they weren't really my type or you know 810 00:47:10.160 --> 00:47:16.840 whatever I didn't like their shirt or make a list of what you did like and see if that there's enough of what you did like 811 00:47:16.840 --> 00:47:18.040 to 812 00:47:18.040 --> 00:47:20.040 Constitute a second date 813 00:47:20.440 --> 00:47:27.280 Is that helpful? Yeah super helpful. Okay, because you guys I will tell you there's at least 814 00:47:28.480 --> 00:47:30.320 50 people that I can 815 00:47:30.320 --> 00:47:37.600 That I can definitely verify in this community that married someone that they were not attracted to at first and it's not because they settled 816 00:47:37.680 --> 00:47:44.040 It's because they were comparing it to an archetype of attraction their type that 817 00:47:44.680 --> 00:47:46.600 wasn't healthy and 818 00:47:46.600 --> 00:47:50.760 As they got to know this person more they felt safe. They felt seen they felt loved 819 00:47:50.760 --> 00:47:54.760 In fact, one of them said I said hey what shifted for you and they said, you know 820 00:47:54.760 --> 00:47:58.960 I just realized that instead of me going out and trying to find someone that I love 821 00:47:59.160 --> 00:48:01.760 That I should probably choose the person that loves me 822 00:48:02.400 --> 00:48:05.640 Like really loves me and I was like, oh, that's interesting 823 00:48:06.640 --> 00:48:08.040 Happily married 824 00:48:08.040 --> 00:48:14.240 All obviously very much in love but at the beginning that's what they needed to get there because they were always 825 00:48:14.960 --> 00:48:16.800 Choosing and let's talk about this for a second 826 00:48:16.800 --> 00:48:22.680 they were always going after and choosing the person that was gonna make them feel validated because like they were handsome or they were 827 00:48:22.800 --> 00:48:27.880 Beautiful if they're a woman, you know that the person that's gonna look good on their arm or the person that they were gonna feel 828 00:48:27.880 --> 00:48:33.160 Proud to be with or whatever the bad boy, you know type or this or that or the person, you know 829 00:48:33.160 --> 00:48:35.920 Some of us are attracted to people that don't love us back 830 00:48:36.440 --> 00:48:43.040 Because we were raised in families where you know, we were dismissed and we were insignificant. We were abandoned 831 00:48:43.040 --> 00:48:49.000 We were neglected. And so there's this part of us this unhealed child inside of us that wants to prove we're valuable 832 00:48:49.000 --> 00:48:55.760 And so the way we prove we're valuable is focusing on someone who reminds us of mom or dad emotionally unavailable 833 00:48:56.360 --> 00:48:59.080 Thoughtless and then trying to get them to love us 834 00:49:00.080 --> 00:49:06.000 Trying to get them to choose us trying to convince them that we're valuable and then we feel like if we can do that 835 00:49:06.000 --> 00:49:09.720 This is where anxious attachment comes from then we win 836 00:49:10.640 --> 00:49:11.760 right 837 00:49:11.760 --> 00:49:12.760 We're lovable 838 00:49:12.760 --> 00:49:19.720 We're trying to convince ourselves and everybody else by trying to win these people over that are a challenge in these areas you all know 839 00:49:20.840 --> 00:49:26.280 That's not worth it. It isn't all you're doing is, you know, lather rinse repeating your childhood 840 00:49:26.280 --> 00:49:30.520 You can't fix what went wrong in your childhood through your adult relationships 841 00:49:30.520 --> 00:49:34.640 It's not possible. All you can do if you want closure is forgive those people 842 00:49:35.720 --> 00:49:36.600 for 843 00:49:36.600 --> 00:49:41.880 not being able to love you the way that you needed to be loved or abusing you or hurting you or whatever has happened in 844 00:49:41.880 --> 00:49:45.040 these situations and go forward and choose 845 00:49:45.520 --> 00:49:52.720 You know people that do love you people that that the relationship tells a different story than the one that your childhood told you 846 00:49:53.760 --> 00:49:55.760 That should be valuable to a lot of you 847 00:49:56.280 --> 00:49:57.320 that is 848 00:49:57.320 --> 00:49:59.520 Good stuff right there. Holy Spirit. Okay 849 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.000 Nitin, you're up. 850 00:50:04.000 --> 00:50:06.000 Okay, Jackie. 851 00:50:06.000 --> 00:50:10.000 I am continuing with the question that I asked you earlier in Ask Jackie. 852 00:50:10.000 --> 00:50:15.000 You mentioned regarding the lady that based on her fast behavior, 853 00:50:15.000 --> 00:50:17.000 she could cut and run. 854 00:50:17.000 --> 00:50:22.000 So she did mention that she has gone through the heart healing course 855 00:50:22.000 --> 00:50:24.000 at a church for the last couple of months. 856 00:50:24.000 --> 00:50:29.000 So just following up after talking to her for the last couple of months, 857 00:50:29.000 --> 00:50:32.000 we met and spent the entire day together. 858 00:50:32.000 --> 00:50:34.000 We hiked, explored the city. 859 00:50:34.000 --> 00:50:38.000 We really enjoyed each of this company, laughed, and had a good conversation. 860 00:50:38.000 --> 00:50:42.000 She texted me letting me know that I'm a true gentleman, 861 00:50:42.000 --> 00:50:47.000 thanked me for being attentive, and told me that she felt very safe. 862 00:50:47.000 --> 00:50:51.000 After that, I did not hear back from her for a couple of days. 863 00:50:51.000 --> 00:50:55.000 So I just followed up with a text saying hi. 864 00:50:56.000 --> 00:51:01.000 She said she was not feeling well, and there is a lot on her mind right now. 865 00:51:01.000 --> 00:51:06.000 Since then, I have not texted, and it has been close to a week. 866 00:51:06.000 --> 00:51:07.000 Excuse me. 867 00:51:07.000 --> 00:51:11.000 And I haven't heard anything from her either. 868 00:51:11.000 --> 00:51:17.000 Any guidance regarding the next steps, please? 869 00:51:17.000 --> 00:51:19.000 Did you say it was long distance? 870 00:51:19.000 --> 00:51:20.000 Yes. 871 00:51:20.000 --> 00:51:21.000 Okay. 872 00:51:21.000 --> 00:51:24.000 So there's a lot of different things that could be happening here. 873 00:51:24.000 --> 00:51:28.000 I mean, it sounds like, you know, obviously, you guys, 874 00:51:28.000 --> 00:51:30.000 long distance, you guys, it takes a lot of investment. 875 00:51:30.000 --> 00:51:34.000 You have to really, really, really be on board. 876 00:51:34.000 --> 00:51:35.000 Okay? 877 00:51:35.000 --> 00:51:37.000 People get very intimidated by long distance, 878 00:51:37.000 --> 00:51:40.000 especially if there isn't a certain amount of attraction 879 00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:42.000 or infatuation that's driving it. 880 00:51:42.000 --> 00:51:43.000 All right? 881 00:51:43.000 --> 00:51:46.000 So that's a situation where, you know, if someone's local and in person, 882 00:51:46.000 --> 00:51:48.000 you can give them the benefit of the doubt. 883 00:51:48.000 --> 00:51:51.000 You can, you know, see them a couple of times, see if something builds, 884 00:51:51.000 --> 00:51:54.000 something grows, especially if there's not some chemistry there right away. 885 00:51:54.000 --> 00:51:57.000 And I don't just mean physical. I mean, in every way. 886 00:51:57.000 --> 00:52:00.000 But long distance, there's a more of an investment. 887 00:52:00.000 --> 00:52:03.000 If you're not feeling it, if you're talking and then you decide, okay, 888 00:52:03.000 --> 00:52:06.000 we're going to make the leap, we're going to travel to see each other. 889 00:52:06.000 --> 00:52:11.000 And then still it's okay, but it's not like, you know, 890 00:52:11.000 --> 00:52:15.000 enough to build that type of, you know, long distance commitment on. 891 00:52:15.000 --> 00:52:17.000 Then a lot of people will shy away from it. 892 00:52:17.000 --> 00:52:20.000 So it sounds like that's what could be happening here. 893 00:52:20.000 --> 00:52:23.000 It also sounds like she's a nice person who doesn't want to hurt your 894 00:52:23.000 --> 00:52:24.000 feelings. 895 00:52:24.000 --> 00:52:27.000 With, and I'm not saying she's lying. Like she doesn't feel good. 896 00:52:27.000 --> 00:52:29.000 I'm just saying it's convenient. 897 00:52:29.000 --> 00:52:32.000 To not feel good after, you know, 898 00:52:32.000 --> 00:52:34.000 After seeing someone that, you know, 899 00:52:34.000 --> 00:52:39.000 you're not really sure that you want to pursue anything romantic with. 900 00:52:39.000 --> 00:52:41.000 It's kind of telling. 901 00:52:41.000 --> 00:52:42.000 Yeah. 902 00:52:42.000 --> 00:52:43.000 So. 903 00:52:43.000 --> 00:52:44.000 Sorry, go ahead. 904 00:52:45.000 --> 00:52:46.000 Yeah. 905 00:52:46.000 --> 00:52:55.000 My question to you would be, is that if you feel like. 906 00:52:55.000 --> 00:53:00.000 You're investing your time and your energy into women who. 907 00:53:00.000 --> 00:53:04.000 After the initial meeting or conversations are not reciprocating. 908 00:53:04.000 --> 00:53:05.000 You know, what can we learn from that? 909 00:53:05.000 --> 00:53:07.000 Because there's obviously some sort of type. 910 00:53:07.000 --> 00:53:08.000 That isn't working. 911 00:53:08.000 --> 00:53:12.000 Guys. And that goes for everyone. 912 00:53:12.000 --> 00:53:13.000 And so, you know, 913 00:53:13.000 --> 00:53:16.000 if you feel like you're not going to reciprocate after one date or 914 00:53:16.000 --> 00:53:18.000 after, you know, maybe you don't even get a date. 915 00:53:18.000 --> 00:53:20.000 Because you're not attracted back to you. 916 00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:23.000 We've got to look at that. 917 00:53:23.000 --> 00:53:28.000 What is that pattern and what is it rooted in? 918 00:53:28.000 --> 00:53:30.000 Because there's plenty of people I'm going to tell you right now, 919 00:53:30.000 --> 00:53:32.000 that would be attracted to any of y'all. 920 00:53:32.000 --> 00:53:35.000 And so if you're always focusing on, or, you know, 921 00:53:35.000 --> 00:53:41.000 Going after gentlemen. 922 00:53:42.000 --> 00:53:45.000 Okay. 923 00:53:45.000 --> 00:53:47.000 So Jackie is my conclusion that. 924 00:53:47.000 --> 00:53:53.000 Like I'm invested. 925 00:53:53.000 --> 00:53:55.000 But since I'm not seeing any reciprocation, 926 00:53:55.000 --> 00:53:57.000 am I correct to conclude it's time to move on? 927 00:53:57.000 --> 00:53:58.000 Oh, yeah. 928 00:53:58.000 --> 00:54:02.000 Okay. Thank you. 929 00:54:02.000 --> 00:54:03.000 Yeah, 930 00:54:03.000 --> 00:54:06.000 but I want you to move on to something that is going to be winter 931 00:54:06.000 --> 00:54:07.000 winter chicken dinner. 932 00:54:07.000 --> 00:54:08.000 Okay. 933 00:54:09.000 --> 00:54:10.000 Yes. 934 00:54:10.000 --> 00:54:11.000 Yes. 935 00:54:11.000 --> 00:54:12.000 Yes. 936 00:54:12.000 --> 00:54:13.000 Okay. 937 00:54:13.000 --> 00:54:18.000 So. 938 00:54:18.000 --> 00:54:24.000 So what I'd like for you to do is I'd like you to take those women. 939 00:54:24.000 --> 00:54:26.000 That this has happened with where there's just, 940 00:54:26.000 --> 00:54:30.000 there's no chemistry to continue. 941 00:54:30.000 --> 00:54:33.000 I want you to make a list of what they have in common. I want to, 942 00:54:33.000 --> 00:54:35.000 I want us to dig in and find out why you're attracted to them. 943 00:54:35.000 --> 00:54:36.000 And then I want you to be able to, 944 00:54:36.000 --> 00:54:39.000 to go back and look at the list and see if there's anything in common. 945 00:54:39.000 --> 00:54:40.000 And then maybe you'll be able to, 946 00:54:40.000 --> 00:54:41.000 you know, 947 00:54:41.000 --> 00:54:45.000 find enough to see if something's there. 948 00:54:45.000 --> 00:54:46.000 So why are you like, 949 00:54:46.000 --> 00:54:49.000 why are these the women that you're reaching out to or talking to? 950 00:54:49.000 --> 00:54:50.000 I'd like to see what. 951 00:54:50.000 --> 00:54:52.000 What common denominator we can find. 952 00:54:52.000 --> 00:54:55.000 Okay. I will. Should I just email you on Facebook? 953 00:54:55.000 --> 00:54:56.000 Regarding my. 954 00:54:56.000 --> 00:54:58.000 Just, yeah, just, you can just email it to admin. 955 00:54:58.000 --> 00:54:59.000 Just make, just make a little spreadsheet. 956 00:54:59.000 --> 00:55:00.000 And we'll take a look at it. 957 00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:01.840 I give some feedback. 958 00:55:01.840 --> 00:55:03.200 Thank you, Jackie. 959 00:55:03.200 --> 00:55:04.720 Yes, my pleasure. 960 00:55:04.720 --> 00:55:07.280 You guys, and this happens to so many of us. 961 00:55:07.280 --> 00:55:12.400 When I was younger, I was always attracted to guys 962 00:55:12.400 --> 00:55:14.560 who I was invisible to. 963 00:55:15.520 --> 00:55:17.360 They were not interested at all in me. 964 00:55:17.920 --> 00:55:21.680 And it wasn't necessarily like I wasn't cute enough for them 965 00:55:21.680 --> 00:55:22.480 or whatever. 966 00:55:22.480 --> 00:55:24.160 They liked a different type of girl. 967 00:55:24.960 --> 00:55:29.200 I was attracted to guys that liked emo girls. 968 00:55:29.200 --> 00:55:30.480 I was a preppy girl. 969 00:55:30.480 --> 00:55:33.680 And they liked girls who dyed their hair black 970 00:55:33.680 --> 00:55:35.760 and had a piercing in their face. 971 00:55:36.480 --> 00:55:39.280 I liked those guys, the skaters, the freestyle bikers, 972 00:55:39.280 --> 00:55:41.520 the guys that were edgier. 973 00:55:41.520 --> 00:55:44.080 And for whatever reason, I liked them. 974 00:55:44.720 --> 00:55:46.080 And they didn't like me back. 975 00:55:46.080 --> 00:55:48.080 And you know what I found out as an adult woman? 976 00:55:48.880 --> 00:55:51.600 I was attracted to those boys. 977 00:55:51.600 --> 00:55:53.280 And I was trying to get their attention 978 00:55:53.280 --> 00:55:55.520 because I wanted my brother's attention. 979 00:55:55.520 --> 00:55:58.720 My older brother, it was just me and him growing up 980 00:55:58.720 --> 00:56:02.000 until my mom had another child when we were 14. 981 00:56:02.000 --> 00:56:03.440 And that's when I went to live in a girl's home 982 00:56:03.440 --> 00:56:04.320 when I was 14. 983 00:56:04.320 --> 00:56:07.200 So I was separated from all of my family. 984 00:56:08.000 --> 00:56:11.920 But my brother, him and I, we were latchkey kids. 985 00:56:11.920 --> 00:56:15.040 Our mom was married three times before I was 10. 986 00:56:15.040 --> 00:56:17.040 And he's a year and a half older than me. 987 00:56:17.040 --> 00:56:18.640 And so I was always trying to, 988 00:56:19.520 --> 00:56:21.120 when we were kids, we were like this. 989 00:56:21.120 --> 00:56:23.760 But then about seven, eight, nine years old, 990 00:56:23.760 --> 00:56:27.280 he started moving away to other people and other things. 991 00:56:27.280 --> 00:56:29.280 And I was always trying to get his attention. 992 00:56:29.280 --> 00:56:31.200 I was always trying to get him to take me with him. 993 00:56:31.200 --> 00:56:32.240 I was really lonely. 994 00:56:32.240 --> 00:56:34.320 We were in a really isolated environment, 995 00:56:34.320 --> 00:56:36.000 like a lot of kids when you're abused 996 00:56:36.000 --> 00:56:37.840 and you're in abusive environments. 997 00:56:37.840 --> 00:56:39.520 And so that's what he was like. 998 00:56:39.520 --> 00:56:40.720 He was a skateboarder. 999 00:56:40.720 --> 00:56:41.840 He was a snowboarder. 1000 00:56:41.840 --> 00:56:43.280 He was a freestyle biker. 1001 00:56:43.280 --> 00:56:45.360 And so I was trying to get the attention 1002 00:56:45.360 --> 00:56:47.600 of the boys that were like him 1003 00:56:48.160 --> 00:56:52.480 because I just wanted my best friend back, my brother. 1004 00:56:53.840 --> 00:56:54.400 And guess what? 1005 00:56:54.400 --> 00:56:54.800 I have him. 1006 00:56:54.800 --> 00:56:55.840 Because he lives in my other house. 1007 00:56:55.840 --> 00:56:56.960 He got ran over by a car. 1008 00:56:57.280 --> 00:56:58.160 And he can't walk. 1009 00:56:58.160 --> 00:56:59.840 And so now he's my captive audience. 1010 00:57:00.560 --> 00:57:01.920 And I want you to think it's misery. 1011 00:57:01.920 --> 00:57:03.920 I'm not over there like breaking his legs 1012 00:57:03.920 --> 00:57:04.960 or anything like that. 1013 00:57:04.960 --> 00:57:08.160 But I do get to spend some time with him 1014 00:57:08.160 --> 00:57:10.160 because he's healing right now 1015 00:57:10.160 --> 00:57:11.680 and he's gonna get fully better. 1016 00:57:11.680 --> 00:57:14.400 And then I don't know what he'll do, but he is here. 1017 00:57:14.400 --> 00:57:16.560 So can anyone see any of their patterns 1018 00:57:17.120 --> 00:57:20.800 of the opposite sex and maybe a sibling 1019 00:57:20.800 --> 00:57:24.080 or a parent or someone else important in your life 1020 00:57:24.080 --> 00:57:27.840 and their rejection of you in your type? 1021 00:57:27.840 --> 00:57:29.040 Can anyone else see that? 1022 00:57:31.520 --> 00:57:32.020 Anybody? 1023 00:57:35.280 --> 00:57:35.920 Come on, y'all. 1024 00:57:36.560 --> 00:57:38.560 You had an emotionally unavailable mother 1025 00:57:38.560 --> 00:57:39.840 or father, gentlemen. 1026 00:57:39.840 --> 00:57:46.800 Maybe you had a mom who never complimented you 1027 00:57:46.800 --> 00:57:48.400 or told you that you did anything right. 1028 00:57:48.400 --> 00:57:50.400 She was always nagging at you. 1029 00:57:50.400 --> 00:57:54.240 And now your type is the opposite of that. 1030 00:57:54.800 --> 00:57:58.400 Women who won't say boo to nothing. 1031 00:58:02.720 --> 00:58:03.220 Okay. 1032 00:58:04.080 --> 00:58:06.640 So either the same type or the opposite type. 1033 00:58:06.640 --> 00:58:09.040 So you guys see there's a lot of brokenness in our types. 1034 00:58:09.040 --> 00:58:10.480 And that's why we have to take a look 1035 00:58:11.040 --> 00:58:14.240 at any romantic attractions that don't work out 1036 00:58:14.240 --> 00:58:15.600 for us in a healthy way. 1037 00:58:16.400 --> 00:58:18.560 We gotta take a look at those and find out where they are, 1038 00:58:18.560 --> 00:58:19.840 especially if you have a strong type. 1039 00:58:20.560 --> 00:58:22.000 All right, who else wants to jump in the love seat? 1040 00:58:24.080 --> 00:58:24.960 I don't know if... 1041 00:58:24.960 --> 00:58:26.800 You guys have your little yellow hands up still. 1042 00:58:26.800 --> 00:58:28.800 So if everyone could just take those down, 1043 00:58:28.800 --> 00:58:30.000 your little avatar hands. 1044 00:58:30.000 --> 00:58:31.200 Everyone just put your hands down, 1045 00:58:31.200 --> 00:58:32.560 regardless of whether or not you have a question 1046 00:58:32.560 --> 00:58:33.520 or you wanna get in the love seat. 1047 00:58:33.520 --> 00:58:34.160 Just take them down. 1048 00:58:36.400 --> 00:58:37.760 And then after they're all down, 1049 00:58:43.760 --> 00:58:44.720 everyone take them down. 1050 00:58:46.720 --> 00:58:49.360 Okay, now anyone wanna jump in the love seat? 1051 00:58:49.360 --> 00:58:50.480 Okay, Melissa, go ahead. 1052 00:58:52.480 --> 00:58:53.920 And doesn't Melissa look pretty? 1053 00:58:53.920 --> 00:58:55.680 Doesn't she look beautiful in this purple? 1054 00:58:55.680 --> 00:58:56.800 She looks so lovely. 1055 00:58:56.800 --> 00:58:57.680 Okay, go ahead. 1056 00:58:58.320 --> 00:58:59.520 Thank you so much, Jackie. 1057 00:58:59.520 --> 00:59:00.400 I really appreciate it. 1058 00:59:01.440 --> 00:59:04.400 So my goodness, thank you for all of this wonderful teaching. 1059 00:59:04.400 --> 00:59:06.560 I wanted to run by you, 1060 00:59:07.840 --> 00:59:10.400 this certain guy that I'm getting to know. 1061 00:59:10.400 --> 00:59:15.280 And I really appreciate that he's very sincere. 1062 00:59:15.280 --> 00:59:20.880 And also he just became a believer a couple years ago. 1063 00:59:20.880 --> 00:59:23.440 He was resisting the Lord for 10 years. 1064 00:59:23.440 --> 00:59:26.160 And his family, especially his brother, 1065 00:59:26.160 --> 00:59:30.000 just kept loving on him, sharing the gospel, all this stuff. 1066 00:59:30.000 --> 00:59:34.320 And so he's only been a believer since 2022, 1067 00:59:34.320 --> 00:59:37.440 whereas I've been a believer for decades. 1068 00:59:38.240 --> 00:59:40.800 And I've also been in full-time ministry 1069 00:59:40.800 --> 00:59:43.280 and have studied theology and all these things. 1070 00:59:43.280 --> 00:59:48.800 And I'm only saying that just to explain a hesitation I have. 1071 00:59:48.800 --> 00:59:52.160 I know that it's possible, as I'm sure we all know, 1072 00:59:52.160 --> 00:59:54.880 to have a lot of years with the Lord, 1073 00:59:54.880 --> 00:59:59.040 but not necessarily have like the same level of love or depth. 1074 00:59:59.040 --> 00:59:59.840 And then it can be some... 1075 01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.280 times like a rocky point in the journey and whatnot. And so I'm 1076 01:00:04.280 --> 01:00:07.280 just really happy for him that he came to Christ. I think 1077 01:00:07.280 --> 01:00:11.280 that's so amazing that he hasn't told me the deeper story, but I 1078 01:00:11.280 --> 01:00:15.680 also haven't asked, just out of like respect for his story and 1079 01:00:15.680 --> 01:00:20.560 his boundaries. And so, but like saying words like tragedies that 1080 01:00:20.560 --> 01:00:22.600 he's walked through, or just like, it sounds like the Lord 1081 01:00:22.600 --> 01:00:27.160 has really rocked his world. And I also appreciate that I hear 1082 01:00:27.160 --> 01:00:33.760 him like repenting and being very aware of like God's Word, 1083 01:00:33.760 --> 01:00:37.960 like he's just, he's really intentionally growing in the in 1084 01:00:37.960 --> 01:00:44.960 this time. And so, so all of that to say that, like, I just, 1085 01:00:45.880 --> 01:00:51.080 you know, be that as it may, I guess I'm wondering how to think 1086 01:00:51.080 --> 01:00:56.640 about, like the idea of like, spiritual leadership, because, 1087 01:00:57.400 --> 01:01:00.040 you know, I know that we're co-heirs of Christ and, you 1088 01:01:00.040 --> 01:01:05.440 know, Ephesians five and all the things, but I guess, like, I, 1089 01:01:05.680 --> 01:01:09.480 I'm not trying to like teach him or be his counselor, but I also 1090 01:01:09.520 --> 01:01:12.240 like a lot of things that are really new to him, like, they're 1091 01:01:12.240 --> 01:01:16.320 kind of not so new to me. And that makes sense, really, for 1092 01:01:16.320 --> 01:01:21.880 anyone. So I guess, I am, there's that concern. And then 1093 01:01:21.880 --> 01:01:24.640 there's also like, you know, he's kind of like not in a 1094 01:01:24.640 --> 01:01:28.520 financially stable place, he's sort of insinuated that and I'm 1095 01:01:28.880 --> 01:01:33.520 very solid in that area. And I'm grateful for that. But and then 1096 01:01:33.520 --> 01:01:36.840 just like the question of ambition, and all of that. And 1097 01:01:36.840 --> 01:01:42.840 so, so just to kind of put all of this together, I'm like, I 1098 01:01:42.840 --> 01:01:46.800 know that, like, whoever I'm with, I want to admire and trust 1099 01:01:46.800 --> 01:01:51.800 and respect. And I want to do that sincerely. And I know that 1100 01:01:51.840 --> 01:01:54.040 I'm not going to, I'm not going to be able to fake that forever, 1101 01:01:54.040 --> 01:01:58.960 nor would I want to do that or to do that to someone. And so I 1102 01:01:58.960 --> 01:02:01.200 guess I'm wondering, like, kind of with some of these 1103 01:02:01.200 --> 01:02:07.120 discrepancies, I could mention others, just it seems like we're 1104 01:02:07.120 --> 01:02:10.560 in different places in some ways, but I don't know that that 1105 01:02:10.560 --> 01:02:14.120 makes us incompatible. But I also want to be wise. And I 1106 01:02:14.120 --> 01:02:20.080 would really appreciate some outside perspectives, such as 1107 01:02:20.080 --> 01:02:23.680 yours, just to be able to, like, I don't want to lead him on if 1108 01:02:23.680 --> 01:02:27.160 it's like, okay, well, like, we're in such different points 1109 01:02:27.160 --> 01:02:30.760 in our, in our lives and journeys, and everyone is 1110 01:02:30.760 --> 01:02:34.400 different. But, but I also don't want to miss out on him. I do 1111 01:02:34.400 --> 01:02:38.640 feel safe. I do appreciate his way of being. I do feel like he 1112 01:02:38.640 --> 01:02:44.360 has a kind heart. And I do see like the Holy Spirit in him. And 1113 01:02:44.360 --> 01:02:48.040 I and I, I recognize that I just wonder, like on a practical 1114 01:02:48.040 --> 01:02:51.640 level, like, can I be his cheerleader? Can I support him? 1115 01:02:51.640 --> 01:02:55.680 Can I like, like, I don't know, just so anyway, I'll stop all of 1116 01:02:55.680 --> 01:02:57.600 the rambling, but I'd love to hear your thoughts. 1117 01:02:58.320 --> 01:02:59.880 Oh, how many dates have you been on? 1118 01:03:00.800 --> 01:03:04.560 Um, like, really, we've only done like one FaceTime, and 1119 01:03:04.560 --> 01:03:09.360 we're gonna do another one today. But we've also been 1120 01:03:09.360 --> 01:03:12.840 communicating through messaging. And so kind of like back and 1121 01:03:12.840 --> 01:03:16.600 forth. But he already said, like, he really wants to get to 1122 01:03:16.600 --> 01:03:18.480 know me. And I was like, 1123 01:03:18.960 --> 01:03:20.640 you haven't ever met him in person? 1124 01:03:21.520 --> 01:03:25.560 Well, he's in Texas, and my family's in Texas. And I go back 1125 01:03:25.560 --> 01:03:27.280 and forth between where I am. 1126 01:03:28.600 --> 01:03:32.280 So it's long distance, and you had one FaceTime, you've had 1127 01:03:32.280 --> 01:03:37.000 conversations, one FaceTime, and, and you haven't. And you 1128 01:03:37.000 --> 01:03:42.160 also haven't met in person. So first, you know, my honest 1129 01:03:42.160 --> 01:03:46.000 opinion is that this is a lot of thinking that you're doing about 1130 01:03:46.000 --> 01:03:50.240 someone that you just really don't know at all. Right. And so 1131 01:03:50.240 --> 01:03:53.600 there's just there's a lot of like, analysis paralysis 1132 01:03:53.600 --> 01:03:56.480 happening here. Like, you know, like, oh, my gosh, and what's 1133 01:03:56.480 --> 01:03:59.480 gonna happen if this happens? And can you spiritually? Girl, 1134 01:03:59.480 --> 01:04:02.920 you don't even know him. Okay, it's like the equivalent of 1135 01:04:02.920 --> 01:04:05.960 like, writing his last name on your notebook already. And like, 1136 01:04:05.960 --> 01:04:09.520 you know, just like so. So everyone, and you guys, we all 1137 01:04:09.520 --> 01:04:12.920 have done this. But I think Christians do this more than 1138 01:04:12.920 --> 01:04:17.000 anybody else is, you know, while people that are not necessarily 1139 01:04:17.000 --> 01:04:20.920 Christ followers might become like excited or about the idea 1140 01:04:20.920 --> 01:04:25.280 of a new person, we immediately go to Are they my husband? Or 1141 01:04:25.280 --> 01:04:29.640 are they my wife, you know, and I get it. Right. We're trying to 1142 01:04:29.640 --> 01:04:32.160 make that decision pretty quickly. Because, you know, we 1143 01:04:32.160 --> 01:04:36.480 can't get the show on the road. Until, you know, there's 1144 01:04:36.480 --> 01:04:39.080 something serious going on, because you can't have sex. And 1145 01:04:39.080 --> 01:04:42.040 there's all kinds of things that we don't do until you know, that 1146 01:04:42.040 --> 01:04:45.320 person in a, you know, we marry that person. And so there's a 1147 01:04:45.320 --> 01:04:49.320 whole, there's a whole set of rules here. But you kind of you 1148 01:04:49.320 --> 01:04:51.280 nailed you nailed it, even though you don't know this guy 1149 01:04:51.400 --> 01:04:56.800 at all. Okay, just just brief some texting in a FaceTime. You 1150 01:04:56.800 --> 01:04:59.360 said a word, and that word is respect. 1151 01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:07.120 Okay. So you guys, there's, there's so much gold in people and it might not be the gold that you're 1152 01:05:07.120 --> 01:05:12.800 used to. Right. Um, I do know that God told me that there is a huge harvest of souls and it's 1153 01:05:12.800 --> 01:05:19.200 already begun. It's not coming soon. It's already happening. And that a lot of people in the church, 1154 01:05:19.200 --> 01:05:24.720 you know, a lot of Christians, people, their, their spirit mates, their, um, their husbands 1155 01:05:24.720 --> 01:05:31.280 and wives are in that harvest. They're in that harvest. Okay. But if that's going to be you, 1156 01:05:31.920 --> 01:05:36.320 then you have to be okay with that. Right. God's not going to force something on you, 1157 01:05:36.320 --> 01:05:41.520 but I want us to pray the prayer. God make me willing to be made willing in the day of your 1158 01:05:41.520 --> 01:05:45.920 power. Right. And the day where you're doing something really special in the earth, you know, 1159 01:05:47.040 --> 01:05:51.360 make me willing to be made willing to what maybe to marry a new believer. 1160 01:05:51.440 --> 01:05:54.560 You know, I know a lot of us are like, Oh my gosh, you know, that's, that's, 1161 01:05:54.560 --> 01:05:58.560 you're not supposed to do that. You know, that's bad. Where, where does it say that 1162 01:05:58.560 --> 01:06:02.880 doesn't say that at all. It doesn't say that at all. In fact, a lot of you would be really, 1163 01:06:03.520 --> 01:06:08.880 you'd be really offended by Paul's writings in Corinthians that says, Hey, um, after you 1164 01:06:08.880 --> 01:06:13.440 received Christ, if you're unbelieving spouse is fine with it, then you should stay with them. 1165 01:06:14.000 --> 01:06:20.080 What? You should be married to an unbeliever. That doesn't sound fun. Um, so it's a situation 1166 01:06:20.080 --> 01:06:27.520 where it's about what can you receive? What can you receive? You know, my, my daughter is engaged. 1167 01:06:27.520 --> 01:06:32.000 She's getting married in August and her and her boyfriend had been dating for three years. 1168 01:06:32.560 --> 01:06:37.520 She's just turned 23 years old. Since she was 20, they've been dating. He's 26. So he's three 1169 01:06:37.520 --> 01:06:42.480 years older than her. And the purpose of me telling the story is that my daughter is, 1170 01:06:42.480 --> 01:06:50.240 my daughter is like a revival stream Christian, you know, encounters and healings. And right now, 1171 01:06:50.240 --> 01:06:54.480 she's actually at one of the biggest revival schools in the country. You know, you know, 1172 01:06:54.480 --> 01:07:00.320 just learning how to be a revivalist. Now her boyfriend is not like that. He's a Christian. 1173 01:07:00.320 --> 01:07:05.440 He loves Jesus, but he was raised in a Baptist family. In fact, his grandfather was a Baptist 1174 01:07:05.440 --> 01:07:10.400 circuit rider, meaning that he was an itinerant, you know, preacher that went from place to place. 1175 01:07:11.040 --> 01:07:18.560 But he wasn't as like into the whole Holy spirit kind of version of Christianity. You guys that 1176 01:07:18.560 --> 01:07:23.040 are like that know what I'm talking about. It isn't that he was opposed to the spirit. He's 1177 01:07:23.040 --> 01:07:28.640 not a cessationist, meaning he believes in the ministry of Holy spirit, but he is not someone 1178 01:07:28.640 --> 01:07:32.480 who's going to be rolling on the ground in the gold dust and speaking in tongues probably. 1179 01:07:32.480 --> 01:07:38.160 All right. At least not yet. Um, so the bottom line is, is that a couple of times she was trying 1180 01:07:38.160 --> 01:07:42.960 to think, Melissa, that maybe this wasn't the right person for her because of the same reason, 1181 01:07:42.960 --> 01:07:49.440 am I going to have to like teach him? Um, you know, is, is, you know, am I going to, 1182 01:07:49.440 --> 01:07:55.040 is he going to be able to lead me if he's not, you know, following Holy spirit, then how is he 1183 01:07:55.040 --> 01:07:59.200 going to be able to lead me kind of thing and not understanding that, you know, the ministry of Holy 1184 01:07:59.200 --> 01:08:04.640 spirit and everybody's life looks different. And, you know, it doesn't necessarily look like 1185 01:08:04.640 --> 01:08:09.520 prophesying and speaking in tongues. Everyone, the ministry of Holy spirit and everyone's life 1186 01:08:09.520 --> 01:08:14.320 looks different. And it's important that we understand that. And so she got over those 1187 01:08:14.320 --> 01:08:19.760 things and you know what that dude can do. He can build anything that you ask him to build. 1188 01:08:19.760 --> 01:08:24.640 He can make anything, he can build it. You know, he's got so many cool talents that she doesn't 1189 01:08:24.640 --> 01:08:30.800 have, you know, yeah, she's a musician. So she's a music missionary and she's an amazing songwriter 1190 01:08:30.800 --> 01:08:36.560 and singer and musician. And he's none of those things, but she didn't want to marry someone who 1191 01:08:36.560 --> 01:08:41.520 was going to write her a song about the fence that needed fixed. She wanted someone who could 1192 01:08:41.520 --> 01:08:46.880 fix the fence. And so we have to start to ask ourselves what's important. When I look at my 1193 01:08:46.880 --> 01:08:50.800 future marriage and I look at myself, what's important to me, Melissa, you seem like a very 1194 01:08:50.800 --> 01:08:55.840 spiritually mature woman. And so do you need someone to explain the scriptures to you? I don't 1195 01:08:55.840 --> 01:09:02.720 think you do. And so the bottom line is, is that we have to reframe or relook at, not even reframe, 1196 01:09:02.720 --> 01:09:09.760 we have to revisit is the word, what we think that it means to be equally yoked. And I'm going 1197 01:09:09.760 --> 01:09:13.439 to tell you, according to scripture, it's that we both are following Christ, headed the same 1198 01:09:13.439 --> 01:09:18.560 direction. It has nothing to do with where we've come from or how long ago we were there. It has 1199 01:09:18.560 --> 01:09:24.960 everything to do with where we're going. And can we go together? Do we make a good team? Are we 1200 01:09:24.960 --> 01:09:30.080 complimentary opposites? Those are things that are important. I will say on the financial front, 1201 01:09:30.080 --> 01:09:35.279 my husband went through a divorce right before I met him and they had to file for bankruptcy because 1202 01:09:35.279 --> 01:09:40.640 they were so lax with their finances during their marriage. And when I met him, he had two 1203 01:09:40.640 --> 01:09:46.000 cars repossessed and he was living in a townhouse and his house had been foreclosed upon. He had to 1204 01:09:46.000 --> 01:09:53.359 file bankruptcy and he had a $42,000 a year ministry job after 15 years of working at that 1205 01:09:53.359 --> 01:09:58.960 ministry, only $42,000 and no health insurance. That's not a catch. 1206 01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.920 And he was almost 40 years old, okay? 1207 01:10:04.920 --> 01:10:09.920 So that being said, I think that it is about 1208 01:10:12.080 --> 01:10:13.520 a lot of other things. 1209 01:10:13.520 --> 01:10:16.360 And I think that God shows us what we need to see 1210 01:10:16.360 --> 01:10:18.440 as we get to know people better. 1211 01:10:18.440 --> 01:10:20.760 And so writing someone down on paper 1212 01:10:20.760 --> 01:10:21.920 when we don't really know them 1213 01:10:21.920 --> 01:10:24.160 and sort of judging them according to that resume 1214 01:10:24.160 --> 01:10:25.580 is not a good idea. 1215 01:10:27.580 --> 01:10:29.760 But Melissa said something very important. 1216 01:10:29.760 --> 01:10:32.520 She's gotta marry a man that she can respect. 1217 01:10:32.520 --> 01:10:35.560 And so she's gotta get really serious with God and herself 1218 01:10:35.560 --> 01:10:38.600 about what can I respect? 1219 01:10:38.600 --> 01:10:41.920 But I definitely wouldn't judge whether or not 1220 01:10:41.920 --> 01:10:44.600 you can respect a man until you really get to know him 1221 01:10:44.600 --> 01:10:48.820 because I think that it was Martin Luther King 1222 01:10:48.820 --> 01:10:51.080 that said that a man would be judged 1223 01:10:51.080 --> 01:10:52.840 by the content of his character. 1224 01:10:52.840 --> 01:10:55.960 And so I think that until we really know a man's character, 1225 01:10:55.960 --> 01:10:58.160 I think that we can't really know 1226 01:10:58.160 --> 01:10:59.660 if we can respect him or not. 1227 01:11:01.200 --> 01:11:02.040 Absolutely. 1228 01:11:02.040 --> 01:11:03.800 And thank you so much for saying that. 1229 01:11:03.800 --> 01:11:08.840 I really, like I'm not like drawn to like the flashy cars 1230 01:11:08.840 --> 01:11:10.640 or like the, you know, like the big loud. 1231 01:11:10.640 --> 01:11:13.280 That's not actually, I like, 1232 01:11:13.280 --> 01:11:16.120 like I've dated like a guy who's poor in another country 1233 01:11:16.120 --> 01:11:17.920 that literally had nothing to offer me. 1234 01:11:17.920 --> 01:11:19.920 And like, there was a doctor there at the same time. 1235 01:11:19.920 --> 01:11:21.000 I totally ignored the doctor 1236 01:11:21.000 --> 01:11:23.640 because he was like very full of himself. 1237 01:11:23.640 --> 01:11:26.680 So I really love the humility and whatnot. 1238 01:11:26.680 --> 01:11:29.160 I think I'm just thinking on more like practical terms 1239 01:11:29.160 --> 01:11:30.520 but I really appreciate what you said 1240 01:11:30.520 --> 01:11:32.600 and I will definitely pray about it, 1241 01:11:32.600 --> 01:11:34.440 reflect on it and take it to heart further. 1242 01:11:34.440 --> 01:11:36.000 Thank you, Jackie. 1243 01:11:36.000 --> 01:11:37.560 Well, and you guys have to understand 1244 01:11:37.560 --> 01:11:39.480 as was the case with me and my husband 1245 01:11:39.480 --> 01:11:41.920 is that no matter what circumstances someone's in, 1246 01:11:41.920 --> 01:11:44.840 circumstances can change really quickly. 1247 01:11:44.840 --> 01:11:46.800 You know, we all saw that through COVID, 1248 01:11:46.800 --> 01:11:48.400 all kinds of middle management people 1249 01:11:48.400 --> 01:11:49.920 that were pulling down six figures 1250 01:11:49.920 --> 01:11:52.960 all of a sudden had no money, right? 1251 01:11:52.960 --> 01:11:55.160 You know, they all of a sudden had lost their jobs 1252 01:11:55.160 --> 01:11:56.320 because it happened overnight. 1253 01:11:56.320 --> 01:11:58.080 And the same can happen to the other way. 1254 01:11:58.080 --> 01:12:01.760 Someone who hasn't really maybe been having any wins in life 1255 01:12:01.760 --> 01:12:03.680 and then all of a sudden you guys come together 1256 01:12:03.680 --> 01:12:06.960 and doors open and all kinds of wins starts happening. 1257 01:12:06.960 --> 01:12:09.760 And so for me, it's really just about the heart. 1258 01:12:09.760 --> 01:12:10.880 It's about the heart. 1259 01:12:10.880 --> 01:12:12.240 You know, if someone's at a place 1260 01:12:12.240 --> 01:12:17.240 because they are irresponsible and they're lazy, 1261 01:12:17.480 --> 01:12:19.600 you know, they don't want to change their lives. 1262 01:12:19.600 --> 01:12:20.680 They don't wanna do better. 1263 01:12:20.680 --> 01:12:22.520 That's, you know, like I said, 1264 01:12:22.520 --> 01:12:26.200 that's about that unawareness, that thoughtlessness. 1265 01:12:26.200 --> 01:12:29.600 You know, we don't wanna be involved with people like that. 1266 01:12:29.600 --> 01:12:31.560 But if people are in, you know, 1267 01:12:31.560 --> 01:12:33.760 in a place where, yeah, they got there 1268 01:12:33.760 --> 01:12:35.520 and yeah, they made some bad decisions to get there, 1269 01:12:35.520 --> 01:12:37.400 but they're fully aware of those bad decisions 1270 01:12:37.400 --> 01:12:41.640 and they're working hard to change the trajectory 1271 01:12:41.640 --> 01:12:43.960 of where they are, then guess what? 1272 01:12:43.960 --> 01:12:47.400 That person might be a diamond in the rough. 1273 01:12:48.400 --> 01:12:52.720 You guys, that just reminded me of something very funny. 1274 01:12:52.720 --> 01:12:54.800 And if you know, you know, some of you will know 1275 01:12:54.800 --> 01:12:58.040 cause you've been around this movement for a long time, 1276 01:12:58.040 --> 01:13:03.040 but we had a guy in our group and he was so sweet, 1277 01:13:04.080 --> 01:13:08.720 but also just used the wrong analogies 1278 01:13:08.720 --> 01:13:10.760 and the wrong sayings at the wrong time 1279 01:13:10.760 --> 01:13:12.320 and in the wrong way. 1280 01:13:12.320 --> 01:13:15.120 And so he started dating a woman from this community 1281 01:13:15.200 --> 01:13:17.720 and all the time he'd be like, just look at her. 1282 01:13:17.720 --> 01:13:18.920 He's like, she's amazing. 1283 01:13:18.920 --> 01:13:20.360 She's a diamond in the rough. 1284 01:13:22.960 --> 01:13:25.080 He would always say, like he would post pictures 1285 01:13:25.080 --> 01:13:27.200 of her on his, her Facebook and on his Facebook 1286 01:13:27.200 --> 01:13:29.480 and be like, look at her. 1287 01:13:29.480 --> 01:13:31.080 She's a diamond in the rough. 1288 01:13:31.080 --> 01:13:32.480 And finally I had to take him aside. 1289 01:13:32.480 --> 01:13:35.160 I was like, that doesn't mean what you think it does. 1290 01:13:36.920 --> 01:13:39.560 Whatever it is that you think it means, that isn't it. 1291 01:13:42.400 --> 01:13:43.800 And I had to explain to him that 1292 01:13:43.800 --> 01:13:46.160 that actually means that, you know, 1293 01:13:46.160 --> 01:13:48.640 they could clean up well and, you know, 1294 01:13:48.640 --> 01:13:52.840 underneath all of that, there's something good, 1295 01:13:52.840 --> 01:13:55.960 but it's not showing yet. 1296 01:13:55.960 --> 01:13:56.800 All right. 1297 01:13:57.640 --> 01:13:58.480 Thank you, Melissa. 1298 01:13:58.480 --> 01:13:59.320 Jackie. 1299 01:14:01.000 --> 01:14:01.840 Hello. 1300 01:14:01.840 --> 01:14:05.520 So question about age range 1301 01:14:05.520 --> 01:14:07.760 and children's age range for dating. 1302 01:14:07.760 --> 01:14:10.920 So I matched with someone 1303 01:14:10.920 --> 01:14:13.200 and I might be going on first date with him. 1304 01:14:13.640 --> 01:14:16.760 He's about 11 years older than me. 1305 01:14:16.760 --> 01:14:19.000 I'm 36, he's 47. 1306 01:14:19.000 --> 01:14:20.960 One of his kids are 26. 1307 01:14:20.960 --> 01:14:23.840 I mean, I'm 36. 1308 01:14:23.840 --> 01:14:25.600 Is that weird? 1309 01:14:25.600 --> 01:14:26.640 Is that wrong? 1310 01:14:26.640 --> 01:14:28.360 Like, how do you navigate this? 1311 01:14:28.360 --> 01:14:31.560 Wait, you're 36 and he's 46? 1312 01:14:31.560 --> 01:14:32.720 47. 1313 01:14:32.720 --> 01:14:33.560 Okay. 1314 01:14:33.560 --> 01:14:34.400 I mean, it's 11 years. 1315 01:14:34.400 --> 01:14:36.400 It's not a big deal to me. 1316 01:14:36.400 --> 01:14:37.880 You guys, here's the thing about age. 1317 01:14:37.880 --> 01:14:39.840 It's not about age, it's about season. 1318 01:14:39.840 --> 01:14:42.560 Are you in the same season, right? 1319 01:14:42.640 --> 01:14:44.120 Do you want the same things out of life, 1320 01:14:44.120 --> 01:14:46.040 not just now, but in the future? 1321 01:14:46.040 --> 01:14:47.880 I mean, there are some people, for instance, 1322 01:14:47.880 --> 01:14:52.360 where, you know, a woman might, you know, 1323 01:14:52.360 --> 01:14:53.360 like we've had a lot of this. 1324 01:14:53.360 --> 01:14:54.680 I know this sounds crazy, 1325 01:14:54.680 --> 01:14:55.520 because you guys are like, 1326 01:14:55.520 --> 01:14:56.760 well, I think the opposite, Jackie. 1327 01:14:56.760 --> 01:14:58.360 I think the opposite would be true. 1328 01:14:58.360 --> 01:15:00.120 But we've had women who. 1329 01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.740 are a certain age and they could still have children, 1330 01:15:04.740 --> 01:15:06.420 but they don't want to. 1331 01:15:06.420 --> 01:15:09.420 They already have kids and they don't want any more children 1332 01:15:09.420 --> 01:15:11.420 and then, you know, the guy's just like, 1333 01:15:11.420 --> 01:15:13.060 well, I want to have biological children. 1334 01:15:13.060 --> 01:15:14.140 So that's a deal breaker. 1335 01:15:14.140 --> 01:15:15.540 They're not in the same season. 1336 01:15:15.540 --> 01:15:17.100 This man wants biological children. 1337 01:15:17.100 --> 01:15:19.260 This woman's baby, you know, 1338 01:15:19.260 --> 01:15:22.420 baby womb is closed for business. 1339 01:15:22.420 --> 01:15:25.420 Now, I think that if you could still have children, y'all, 1340 01:15:25.420 --> 01:15:26.260 I don't think that, 1341 01:15:26.260 --> 01:15:28.380 I really don't think it's a good idea 1342 01:15:28.380 --> 01:15:31.200 to say that you don't want any more 1343 01:15:31.200 --> 01:15:32.940 and that you won't have any more. 1344 01:15:32.940 --> 01:15:35.380 I don't think that should be on your list of non-negotiables 1345 01:15:35.380 --> 01:15:37.580 because you never know what God's plans are. 1346 01:15:37.580 --> 01:15:38.540 You don't. 1347 01:15:38.540 --> 01:15:42.420 I mean, you know, supposedly I can't have any more children, 1348 01:15:42.420 --> 01:15:45.100 but if I did end up pregnant with a baby, 1349 01:15:45.100 --> 01:15:46.720 then that would be a blessing. 1350 01:15:48.620 --> 01:15:53.340 And it's not weird his oldest daughter's 10, you know, 26. 1351 01:15:53.340 --> 01:15:54.900 And I'm 37. 1352 01:15:54.900 --> 01:15:56.140 He started having kids young. 1353 01:15:56.140 --> 01:15:58.580 He was 21 years old when he had her. 1354 01:15:58.580 --> 01:16:01.340 So, I mean, it's not weird. 1355 01:16:01.340 --> 01:16:04.380 Now, will she think it's weird? 1356 01:16:04.380 --> 01:16:07.100 I don't know the history of why he's not with her mother. 1357 01:16:07.100 --> 01:16:10.440 Is her mother passed or is her mother, are they divorced? 1358 01:16:12.220 --> 01:16:17.140 So basically they're separated and divorced 1359 01:16:17.140 --> 01:16:21.500 and he moved to the States and his daughter stayed, 1360 01:16:21.500 --> 01:16:23.540 you know, in the country they're from. 1361 01:16:24.540 --> 01:16:25.700 Oh, okay. 1362 01:16:25.700 --> 01:16:28.180 So they're separated, getting divorced 1363 01:16:28.180 --> 01:16:32.780 and he moved to another country and his kids are, okay. 1364 01:16:32.780 --> 01:16:34.460 I mean, his kids are adults. 1365 01:16:34.460 --> 01:16:37.220 So they're gonna do what they're gonna do. 1366 01:16:37.220 --> 01:16:41.060 I don't think that the age is a flag. 1367 01:16:41.060 --> 01:16:44.460 I think that the other part of the story 1368 01:16:44.460 --> 01:16:47.500 might be a yellow flag of just, you know, 1369 01:16:47.500 --> 01:16:49.780 he, did he move here for a job? 1370 01:16:49.780 --> 01:16:50.860 Why did he move here? 1371 01:16:51.780 --> 01:16:53.140 He moved here for opportunity 1372 01:16:53.140 --> 01:16:56.860 and his daughters want to move here with him. 1373 01:16:56.860 --> 01:16:57.940 Okay. 1374 01:16:57.940 --> 01:16:59.980 So here's why it's a yellow flag 1375 01:16:59.980 --> 01:17:01.820 about the guy she's talking about. 1376 01:17:01.820 --> 01:17:03.620 And remember, it's just yellow. 1377 01:17:03.620 --> 01:17:07.300 And it's because he is new here. 1378 01:17:07.300 --> 01:17:08.140 That's all. 1379 01:17:08.140 --> 01:17:09.380 So that's the yellow flag. 1380 01:17:09.380 --> 01:17:10.540 Not in years. 1381 01:17:10.540 --> 01:17:12.380 So he's been here nine. 1382 01:17:12.380 --> 01:17:16.140 So he's been here nine years and he's been, 1383 01:17:16.140 --> 01:17:20.100 so they were together for 15, like really young, you know, 1384 01:17:20.100 --> 01:17:23.900 and they haven't been together for 15 years. 1385 01:17:25.460 --> 01:17:26.820 But he's not divorced yet? 1386 01:17:27.660 --> 01:17:28.740 He is divorced. 1387 01:17:28.740 --> 01:17:29.580 He is divorced. 1388 01:17:29.580 --> 01:17:32.420 So they were separated and then became divorced. 1389 01:17:32.420 --> 01:17:33.260 Okay. 1390 01:17:33.260 --> 01:17:34.100 But just recently, 1391 01:17:34.100 --> 01:17:36.740 how long were they separated before they were divorced? 1392 01:17:36.740 --> 01:17:41.460 Sorry to clarify, but like, I know this comes up. 1393 01:17:41.460 --> 01:17:44.460 So he's, they haven't been together 1394 01:17:44.460 --> 01:17:48.020 separated for 15 years, 15 years. 1395 01:17:48.020 --> 01:17:49.580 They've been apart for 15 years 1396 01:17:50.060 --> 01:17:51.700 and he just recently got divorced. 1397 01:17:51.700 --> 01:17:54.180 No, he's been divorced for 15 years. 1398 01:17:54.180 --> 01:17:55.020 Okay. Sorry. 1399 01:17:55.020 --> 01:17:55.860 Cause when you've started the story, 1400 01:17:55.860 --> 01:17:59.460 you said he was separated and then I just got confused. 1401 01:17:59.460 --> 01:18:00.300 All right. 1402 01:18:00.300 --> 01:18:02.500 So he has been in the States for nine years. 1403 01:18:02.500 --> 01:18:04.060 Does he have community here? 1404 01:18:05.140 --> 01:18:06.500 Yes. 1405 01:18:06.500 --> 01:18:07.340 Yes. 1406 01:18:07.340 --> 01:18:08.180 He has church in his name. 1407 01:18:08.180 --> 01:18:09.020 Okay. 1408 01:18:09.020 --> 01:18:11.780 Well then I take back my yellow flag on the play. 1409 01:18:13.260 --> 01:18:14.260 I was just misunderstanding 1410 01:18:14.260 --> 01:18:15.140 some of the things you're saying. 1411 01:18:15.140 --> 01:18:15.980 I know. 1412 01:18:15.980 --> 01:18:18.100 I don't think that the age difference is a big deal. 1413 01:18:18.100 --> 01:18:21.140 Now, if you meet him and you feel like he's too old for you, 1414 01:18:21.140 --> 01:18:22.900 you feel like you're like, you know, 1415 01:18:22.900 --> 01:18:25.100 having lunch with your uncle or your dad, 1416 01:18:25.100 --> 01:18:26.740 and it's just a, you know, an ick, 1417 01:18:26.740 --> 01:18:29.020 then it's an ick and that's that. 1418 01:18:31.220 --> 01:18:33.180 Guys, there's some people that are just forever young. 1419 01:18:33.180 --> 01:18:35.460 Like for me, I'm going to be 50 years old. 1420 01:18:35.460 --> 01:18:36.900 Do I seem 50 years old to you? 1421 01:18:36.900 --> 01:18:37.740 No. 1422 01:18:37.740 --> 01:18:40.460 And I probably never will because I'm just like that. 1423 01:18:40.460 --> 01:18:41.740 I've always been like that. 1424 01:18:41.740 --> 01:18:45.380 You know, if there's a, if there's a, you know, 1425 01:18:45.380 --> 01:18:47.100 a fence to walk on top of, 1426 01:18:47.100 --> 01:18:49.700 you'll find me there because I'm just crazy. 1427 01:18:49.700 --> 01:18:52.380 I think I'm like six years old inside, 1428 01:18:52.380 --> 01:18:55.700 but then there's other people who they're not like that. 1429 01:18:55.700 --> 01:18:58.860 You know, I have friends that are 10 years younger than me 1430 01:18:58.860 --> 01:19:02.100 that act like they're my mother. 1431 01:19:02.100 --> 01:19:05.580 And so age is relative. 1432 01:19:05.580 --> 01:19:07.540 It's not just about your chronological age. 1433 01:19:07.540 --> 01:19:10.500 It's about the age of you inside, you know, 1434 01:19:10.500 --> 01:19:11.860 what's your spirit like? 1435 01:19:11.860 --> 01:19:13.940 And so we've got to match energy levels. 1436 01:19:13.940 --> 01:19:15.860 We have to match seasons. 1437 01:19:15.860 --> 01:19:17.380 These are the things that are important 1438 01:19:17.380 --> 01:19:19.780 when it comes to matches. 1439 01:19:21.220 --> 01:19:22.500 Thank you so much. 1440 01:19:22.500 --> 01:19:23.620 Uh-huh. 1441 01:19:23.620 --> 01:19:25.660 All right, keep us posted on that date. 1442 01:19:25.660 --> 01:19:26.780 All right, who else? 1443 01:19:26.780 --> 01:19:28.820 Tori, love seat, jump in. 1444 01:19:32.620 --> 01:19:33.460 Where'd she go? 1445 01:19:36.220 --> 01:19:37.340 Tori, where are you? 1446 01:19:40.980 --> 01:19:41.940 Right, she disappeared. 1447 01:19:42.700 --> 01:19:44.220 Who else has something? 1448 01:19:46.140 --> 01:19:48.260 Hey, I accidentally turned it off. 1449 01:19:49.460 --> 01:19:50.300 Okay. 1450 01:19:50.300 --> 01:19:51.300 It's okay. 1451 01:19:52.340 --> 01:19:57.340 So, I think I posted on the last year single already, 1452 01:19:58.340 --> 01:20:00.140 but I was just wondering if there's. 1453 01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.360 Any ideas on how I can drop the hanky for somebody at my church? 1454 01:20:06.360 --> 01:20:11.880 We both work on, I think I responded, I responded to your, your post in the 1455 01:20:11.880 --> 01:20:14.600 group and I was talking about, yeah. 1456 01:20:14.600 --> 01:20:17.960 I mean, I think that you should just ask him to hang out. 1457 01:20:20.040 --> 01:20:25.340 Just ask him, I mean, you know, if you, because here's the thing, he's 1458 01:20:25.340 --> 01:20:26.760 paying a lot of attention to you. 1459 01:20:26.760 --> 01:20:29.300 You're getting the vibe that, you know, maybe he's interested. 1460 01:20:29.640 --> 01:20:32.700 And the only way you're going to know is if you're like, Hey, you know, do 1461 01:20:32.700 --> 01:20:33.740 you want to get coffee sometime? 1462 01:20:33.740 --> 01:20:36.820 Because listen, if he doesn't want to, and he's just being nice and friendly, 1463 01:20:36.820 --> 01:20:41.220 you might as well just know now, you know, and the thing is, is that in church 1464 01:20:41.220 --> 01:20:47.860 community, men, especially have a hard time pulling the trigger on asking a girl 1465 01:20:47.860 --> 01:20:51.160 if she wants to do something, because they're really not sure if they're 1466 01:20:51.160 --> 01:20:55.940 really interested or not, and they don't want to kind of rock the boat. 1467 01:20:56.280 --> 01:20:58.320 In the church setting, right. 1468 01:20:59.720 --> 01:21:02.700 They don't want to approach a girl and then be completely rejected. 1469 01:21:02.700 --> 01:21:03.960 And then it's embarrassing. 1470 01:21:03.960 --> 01:21:07.800 And then, you know, you don't want to go to your church anymore, you know, but 1471 01:21:08.240 --> 01:21:12.940 because he's paying attention to you and because he's like looking in your 1472 01:21:12.940 --> 01:21:19.360 eyes and doing all the things, you know, I would find a way, by the way, I go to 1473 01:21:19.360 --> 01:21:22.820 your church too, so I could probably be your wing woman in this, I could probably 1474 01:21:22.820 --> 01:21:27.680 find out, you know, in a very discreet way, whether or not it's a thing. 1475 01:21:28.400 --> 01:21:28.820 Okay. 1476 01:21:29.760 --> 01:21:30.080 All right. 1477 01:21:30.320 --> 01:21:36.080 So Tori goes to my church, so maybe, maybe you should just, you know, 1478 01:21:36.800 --> 01:21:38.240 message me and tell me who it is. 1479 01:21:38.840 --> 01:21:39.160 Okay. 1480 01:21:39.920 --> 01:21:43.280 There's very few singles in that church that I don't really know. 1481 01:21:44.920 --> 01:21:45.240 Yeah. 1482 01:21:45.920 --> 01:21:48.840 So hopefully he's not one of those very few, cause I'll be like, darn it. 1483 01:21:49.360 --> 01:21:51.020 Um, but okay. 1484 01:21:51.080 --> 01:21:52.360 I'll, I'll try to help you with that. 1485 01:21:52.920 --> 01:21:53.200 Okay. 1486 01:21:53.280 --> 01:21:53.760 Thanks. 1487 01:21:54.480 --> 01:21:55.680 And you guys, you can do that. 1488 01:21:55.880 --> 01:21:58.840 So I don't go to, I don't go to all your churches, obviously, but if you go to 1489 01:21:58.840 --> 01:22:00.560 Bethel Austin, then I go to your church. 1490 01:22:00.880 --> 01:22:05.400 Um, but if you don't go to my church, then you have someone at your church. 1491 01:22:05.400 --> 01:22:09.260 I guarantee you that, you know, would be a discreet. 1492 01:22:09.260 --> 01:22:12.700 Now there are busy bodies at all churches and you don't want to employ 1493 01:22:12.700 --> 01:22:14.320 them to be your wing man or wing woman. 1494 01:22:14.900 --> 01:22:15.160 Okay. 1495 01:22:15.160 --> 01:22:19.160 Cause there is going to make a lot of drama out of whatever, but you, there's 1496 01:22:19.160 --> 01:22:23.780 ways to find out if someone's interested, if you're in a community, especially like 1497 01:22:23.860 --> 01:22:27.820 a singles community of some sort at your church, all right, people can very 1498 01:22:27.820 --> 01:22:32.660 discretion with a lot of discretion, find out, um, whether or not someone's 1499 01:22:32.660 --> 01:22:36.380 thinking about asking you out or if they just need encouragement to ask you out. 1500 01:22:36.620 --> 01:22:38.980 We have lots of love stories that happen that way. 1501 01:22:40.500 --> 01:22:40.820 Okay. 1502 01:22:43.060 --> 01:22:43.340 All right. 1503 01:22:43.540 --> 01:22:44.180 What time is it? 1504 01:22:44.180 --> 01:22:45.260 Y'all let me look. 1505 01:22:46.500 --> 01:22:46.780 All right. 1506 01:22:46.820 --> 01:22:48.500 So we have about seven minutes left. 1507 01:22:48.500 --> 01:22:49.600 This has really been great. 1508 01:22:49.640 --> 01:22:53.400 I love that Carla jumped in and gave us her praise report. 1509 01:22:53.400 --> 01:22:54.760 You guys, that was powerful. 1510 01:22:55.200 --> 01:22:56.000 I was powerful. 1511 01:22:56.000 --> 01:22:57.040 That's very supernatural. 1512 01:22:57.040 --> 01:22:59.540 I hope all of you really apply. 1513 01:22:59.880 --> 01:23:01.840 God doesn't love Carla more than he loves you. 1514 01:23:02.720 --> 01:23:02.960 Okay. 1515 01:23:02.960 --> 01:23:07.280 So if you have any situation in your life where you really need some breakthrough, 1516 01:23:07.320 --> 01:23:12.440 let's just go ahead and grab a hold of that testimony and say, God, do it again. 1517 01:23:14.000 --> 01:23:15.400 I know some of you have been discouraged. 1518 01:23:15.420 --> 01:23:19.700 Some of you have been in this community for, you know, some months now, and you 1519 01:23:19.700 --> 01:23:21.620 just haven't had that breakthrough. 1520 01:23:21.620 --> 01:23:23.180 You haven't had those dates. 1521 01:23:23.180 --> 01:23:24.460 You're looking at everyone else dating. 1522 01:23:24.460 --> 01:23:27.380 You're just like, Whoa, what, when's it going to happen to me? 1523 01:23:27.660 --> 01:23:28.620 I can tell you. 1524 01:23:28.620 --> 01:23:30.300 And I see that Renee Rizzo's on here too. 1525 01:23:30.300 --> 01:23:32.900 And she can tell you, and Aaron joy can tell you, cause she's 1526 01:23:32.900 --> 01:23:34.180 been around for a long time. 1527 01:23:34.660 --> 01:23:36.340 Um, and you guys, people that have been around for a long 1528 01:23:36.340 --> 01:23:37.240 time, I just want to tell you. 1529 01:23:37.660 --> 01:23:40.940 Aaron joy has had several serious relationships since she's been in this 1530 01:23:40.940 --> 01:23:45.140 group that just none of them turned into her spirit mate, you know, she 1531 01:23:45.140 --> 01:23:47.200 dated one guy for like, I don't know, nine months. 1532 01:23:47.200 --> 01:23:48.360 How long did you date him for? 1533 01:23:50.320 --> 01:23:50.720 Five. 1534 01:23:51.640 --> 01:23:51.960 Yeah. 1535 01:23:52.480 --> 01:23:57.240 So she had relationships and she grew through those relationships and she's 1536 01:23:57.240 --> 01:23:58.760 changed through those relationships. 1537 01:23:59.200 --> 01:24:02.740 And so, you know, the first person that you meet when you're in this group, 1538 01:24:02.740 --> 01:24:05.520 that you may even start dating and they may not be the person that you end up 1539 01:24:05.520 --> 01:24:09.380 marrying, but remember this community is powerful because we're here to help 1540 01:24:09.380 --> 01:24:11.600 you to not cut and run from something good. 1541 01:24:11.980 --> 01:24:16.420 We're here to help you to, you know, find out whether or not this person is who 1542 01:24:16.420 --> 01:24:18.100 you want to spend the rest of your life with. 1543 01:24:18.100 --> 01:24:21.540 And then even through our premarital course, you still have an opportunity 1544 01:24:21.540 --> 01:24:24.620 to change your mind on that or matchmakers and matchbreakers. 1545 01:24:24.980 --> 01:24:26.900 Um, but I really want to encourage you to stay in this community. 1546 01:24:26.900 --> 01:24:27.820 It's a safe place. 1547 01:24:27.820 --> 01:24:29.620 We have all kinds of amazing things coming up. 1548 01:24:30.140 --> 01:24:32.540 Um, we have all different types of retreats. 1549 01:24:32.540 --> 01:24:34.500 You guys, we mark your calendars. 1550 01:24:34.860 --> 01:24:38.300 Um, we have decided that the Austin conference and retreat. 1551 01:24:38.440 --> 01:24:40.680 So it's going to be, there's going to be a singles conference 1552 01:24:41.080 --> 01:24:43.920 and retreat in Austin in October. 1553 01:24:44.200 --> 01:24:47.240 So it's going to either be the third or fourth week of October. 1554 01:24:47.280 --> 01:24:53.920 So that weekend before Halloween week, I guess the 23rd, 24th, 25th, or the 15th, 1555 01:24:53.920 --> 01:24:57.480 16th and 17th, we're just looking at hotel availability right now. 1556 01:24:57.720 --> 01:25:00.000 We'll make that decision really soon, but it will be. 1557 01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.720 in October. So plan on coming. It's going to be a great time. There will be a VIP experience of that 1558 01:25:06.720 --> 01:25:10.240 say yes to the dress. For those of you ladies that want to go to the bridal boutique and you want to 1559 01:25:10.240 --> 01:25:15.120 try on the dress and you want to do the things, see yourself as the bride. We'll have that. 1560 01:25:15.120 --> 01:25:19.200 We're going to have a men's outing. Guys, make sure you mark your calendars to come because 1561 01:25:19.200 --> 01:25:23.520 there's going to be a whole men's event. The women will be off trying on dresses and the guys will 1562 01:25:23.520 --> 01:25:28.640 be out shooting things. I don't know what they're going to be doing, but they're going to be doing 1563 01:25:28.640 --> 01:25:32.240 something that bonds men together. I don't know what that looks like, but then we'll have a 1564 01:25:32.240 --> 01:25:37.120 conference as well with some special guest speakers, great music, lots of transformative 1565 01:25:37.120 --> 01:25:45.040 time together, and hopefully some matches. There will be a by invitation only event 1566 01:25:45.040 --> 01:25:49.600 sometime this year for my property. You guys know I have two and a half acres here in Austin 1567 01:25:49.600 --> 01:25:56.000 and I'm going to have a singles mixer at my property. There'll be some criteria to be 1568 01:25:56.080 --> 01:26:00.960 referred and invited to that event, but we're going to have several of them. If you don't get 1569 01:26:00.960 --> 01:26:06.720 invited to the first one, I'm sure you'll get invited to one of them. Also, you guys, Canada, 1570 01:26:06.720 --> 01:26:14.320 we're coming for you in June. We have a conference that we are planning for the western part of 1571 01:26:14.320 --> 01:26:19.600 Canada, Calgary, Alberta, that area, Edmonton, all that. We are coming to Canada, you guys, 1572 01:26:20.560 --> 01:26:24.080 and that's going to be exciting. Let's see what else I'm trying to think. 1573 01:26:27.760 --> 01:26:33.600 Possible that we have a Europe trip coming at the end of September, the middle of September, 1574 01:26:33.600 --> 01:26:41.120 I should say, for those of you. You guys, we still have one bed left for Cartagena, 1575 01:26:41.120 --> 01:26:48.000 so if you wanted to go to Columbia with us, that's a very small all-inclusive resort kind of retreat. 1576 01:26:48.000 --> 01:26:55.040 If you wanted to come, please email us right away. There's only one bed. That is women only. 1577 01:26:55.040 --> 01:26:59.680 It's going to be very transformative. You're going to have all kinds of spa experiences, 1578 01:26:59.680 --> 01:27:05.360 massage, this. We're going to take a boat to the Rosario Islands. We're going to wine and 1579 01:27:05.360 --> 01:27:09.280 dine and we're going to have transformative experiences. You're going to get some one-on-one 1580 01:27:09.280 --> 01:27:17.200 time with me, not group time, one-on-one time to talk about things and to get some heart upgrades 1581 01:27:17.200 --> 01:27:23.920 and all different types of fun things happening on that. I will actually be there with that group 1582 01:27:23.920 --> 01:27:29.520 of 10 women for that. You guys, we have a whole bunch of other things on the calendar. I have to 1583 01:27:29.520 --> 01:27:35.040 take a look at what that is, but it's not coming to my mind right now. You guys, on the app, the 1584 01:27:35.040 --> 01:27:39.040 one that's coming out right now, the one that was supposed to be out at the beginning of this week, 1585 01:27:39.040 --> 01:27:45.040 but guys, really pray. In fact, let's just pray right now. The Apple Store is not letting our 1586 01:27:45.040 --> 01:27:51.440 app get published because they hate it if they don't get 30% of your app. It takes them forever 1587 01:27:51.440 --> 01:27:56.240 to approve your app. You guys, that is what is gumming up the works. The app is done. It's ready 1588 01:27:56.240 --> 01:28:02.080 to go. Father, we just come together in agreement that that app is released in Jesus name. We thank 1589 01:28:02.080 --> 01:28:08.000 you, God, that we will have access to that app and that there'll be no more delay in Jesus name. 1590 01:28:08.160 --> 01:28:14.800 Okay. So another part of that app, you guys will be, there'll be a group for last trip single. 1591 01:28:14.800 --> 01:28:18.560 So when you get on the app, whatever group you're already in phase one, two, or three, 1592 01:28:18.560 --> 01:28:24.640 you can also join the last trip single app. And you can see all the time, what, what vacations 1593 01:28:24.640 --> 01:28:29.840 are being planned, what conferences, what retreats are available, and you can sign up right from that 1594 01:28:29.840 --> 01:28:38.960 group in the app. Okay. Cool. Hey Jackie. Yes. Is the app available on Android? Yes, it will be. 1595 01:28:39.840 --> 01:28:46.080 Am I lying Renee? You are not lying. It's going to be available on both and also on your desktop 1596 01:28:46.080 --> 01:28:50.160 computer too. So whichever way you want. So for those of you that don't want to use it on your 1597 01:28:50.160 --> 01:28:56.320 phone, you can just use it on your computer. All right. It'd be good. It'd be great. I know. I'm 1598 01:28:56.320 --> 01:29:03.040 so excited to you, Christine. I can't stand it. That's how excited I am. Okay. All right, y'all. 1599 01:29:03.040 --> 01:29:08.000 It's been great tonight. I hope that you feel empowered to go out there and to meet new people 1600 01:29:08.000 --> 01:29:13.600 and to make wise choices and to remember that, you know, red flags don't always look red. 1601 01:29:13.600 --> 01:29:19.280 They sometimes just look like people who, you know, are thoughtless and unaware and not willing 1602 01:29:19.360 --> 01:29:26.240 to change that part of them. And so, but that yellow flags always can turn green as well. So 1603 01:29:26.800 --> 01:29:30.560 it's important to have grace, truth, and time. It's important to continue guys, 1604 01:29:30.560 --> 01:29:36.080 before you go on dates, here's a pro tip. Before you go on a date, pray. 1605 01:29:38.400 --> 01:29:44.480 You know, you've already said yesterday. Cool. Great. Unless God says, don't go, which he's 1606 01:29:44.480 --> 01:29:48.480 probably not going to say that if you're already using wise. So don't think you're hearing God 1607 01:29:48.480 --> 01:29:53.680 say that because you're getting, you know, anxiety, relationship anxiety. But when you go 1608 01:29:53.680 --> 01:29:58.960 on the date, pray before you go and just say, Hey God, you know, let me see the gold in this person. 1609 01:29:58.960 --> 01:29:59.840 Let me see the good things. 1610 01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:01.040 is about this person. 1611 01:30:01.040 --> 01:30:03.160 And if this person's my spirit mate, 1612 01:30:03.160 --> 01:30:06.080 I pray that there would be enough of a connection. 1613 01:30:06.080 --> 01:30:08.040 You don't have to pray that you have a visceral attraction 1614 01:30:08.040 --> 01:30:09.520 that makes you want to jump over the table 1615 01:30:09.520 --> 01:30:12.700 and just kiss her face off, all right? 1616 01:30:12.700 --> 01:30:15.000 But you can pray that there's enough of an attraction, 1617 01:30:15.000 --> 01:30:19.240 enough of a, you know, what's an intrigue 1618 01:30:19.240 --> 01:30:22.840 that keeps you guys wanting to talk more and more and more, 1619 01:30:22.840 --> 01:30:24.080 that keeps you guys connected, 1620 01:30:24.080 --> 01:30:26.300 that there's a connection, all right? 1621 01:30:26.300 --> 01:30:27.400 You can pray that. 1622 01:30:27.460 --> 01:30:30.220 You can also pray that you're God defended 1623 01:30:30.220 --> 01:30:32.460 and that if this is someone who's not safe for your life 1624 01:30:32.460 --> 01:30:34.660 in any way, shape, or form, relationally, emotionally, 1625 01:30:34.660 --> 01:30:38.380 physically, spiritually, that there just won't be any reason 1626 01:30:38.380 --> 01:30:41.780 to continue to go and that they can kind of show 1627 01:30:41.780 --> 01:30:43.660 those colors quickly, right? 1628 01:30:43.660 --> 01:30:45.980 Because in order for it to be an immediate no, y'all, 1629 01:30:45.980 --> 01:30:47.940 that person would have to really act up. 1630 01:30:49.120 --> 01:30:51.020 They'd have to really act up. 1631 01:30:51.020 --> 01:30:52.680 And I just want to let you know, and gentlemen, 1632 01:30:52.680 --> 01:30:54.800 I want to say this to the guys that have come on here. 1633 01:30:54.800 --> 01:30:56.080 You have an opportunity. 1634 01:30:56.100 --> 01:30:58.780 You have such a brilliant opportunity in this culture 1635 01:30:58.780 --> 01:31:01.540 that we're living in right now to show women 1636 01:31:01.540 --> 01:31:04.840 what Christian men, true Christ-following men look like. 1637 01:31:05.940 --> 01:31:08.140 Because I'm not saying that you're scarce, 1638 01:31:08.140 --> 01:31:11.100 but I am saying that it's an awesome opportunity 1639 01:31:11.100 --> 01:31:12.220 for you to do that. 1640 01:31:12.220 --> 01:31:14.880 Because there are people, men, 1641 01:31:14.880 --> 01:31:18.260 that are flying underneath the banner of I'm a Christian 1642 01:31:18.260 --> 01:31:22.460 that are not following Christ in any way, shape, or form. 1643 01:31:22.460 --> 01:31:23.340 Okay? 1644 01:31:23.340 --> 01:31:27.640 And if I were you guys, I wouldn't get upset 1645 01:31:27.640 --> 01:31:30.740 about women saying like, oh, the bad men and stuff, 1646 01:31:30.740 --> 01:31:32.260 because if you're a good man, 1647 01:31:32.260 --> 01:31:34.380 then you should be just as upset 1648 01:31:34.380 --> 01:31:37.380 that there's that many men out there acting badly 1649 01:31:37.380 --> 01:31:39.780 because they're giving you a bad name. 1650 01:31:39.780 --> 01:31:42.080 Okay, they're giving men a bad name just in general. 1651 01:31:42.080 --> 01:31:44.260 And ladies, same goes for you. 1652 01:31:44.260 --> 01:31:46.260 If there's women out there that are manipulating 1653 01:31:46.260 --> 01:31:48.620 and they're doing all kinds of dark feminine stuff, 1654 01:31:48.620 --> 01:31:52.540 trying to get their way, we don't like that 1655 01:31:52.540 --> 01:31:55.320 because that is causing there to be a prejudice 1656 01:31:55.320 --> 01:31:57.560 against all women, right? 1657 01:31:57.560 --> 01:32:00.460 We don't want to be guilty until proven innocent. 1658 01:32:00.460 --> 01:32:02.540 And so gentlemen, one way that you can help 1659 01:32:02.540 --> 01:32:07.460 make women feel safe with you right from the very beginning 1660 01:32:07.460 --> 01:32:11.820 is to show them what it looks like to be a son of God. 1661 01:32:12.720 --> 01:32:15.340 Not in a churchy religious way, not in a judgmental way, 1662 01:32:15.340 --> 01:32:18.300 but in a way that they can immediately just kind of exhale 1663 01:32:18.300 --> 01:32:20.300 and know, okay, this guy has character. 1664 01:32:20.300 --> 01:32:24.300 Try to show that as soon as possible in your first message, 1665 01:32:24.300 --> 01:32:27.440 in your first phone call, FaceTime, your first meeting, 1666 01:32:27.440 --> 01:32:31.920 try to lead with that, okay? 1667 01:32:31.920 --> 01:32:33.700 And we can talk about what that looks like. 1668 01:32:33.700 --> 01:32:35.660 You guys, past sessions next week is, 1669 01:32:35.660 --> 01:32:37.980 let's talk about sex, baby. 1670 01:32:37.980 --> 01:32:39.620 It's gonna be all about sex 1671 01:32:39.620 --> 01:32:41.400 and every kind of sex you can think of 1672 01:32:41.400 --> 01:32:43.060 and all the things you need to know about sex. 1673 01:32:43.060 --> 01:32:44.740 And it will not be a co-ed session. 1674 01:32:44.740 --> 01:32:46.140 The men will be in their own session. 1675 01:32:46.140 --> 01:32:47.940 Ladies, we'll all be together. 1676 01:32:47.940 --> 01:32:48.880 No holds barred. 1677 01:32:48.880 --> 01:32:50.020 We're gonna really get into it 1678 01:32:50.740 --> 01:32:52.380 because a lot of you have been asking a lot of questions 1679 01:32:52.380 --> 01:32:54.580 that show me, you don't know a lot about sex. 1680 01:32:54.580 --> 01:32:57.420 And so it's important that you learn those things. 1681 01:32:57.420 --> 01:32:59.740 And I'm not talking about the birds and the bees. 1682 01:32:59.740 --> 01:33:02.600 I'm talking about learning about what to expect, 1683 01:33:02.600 --> 01:33:05.460 what's out there, what you should expect to have 1684 01:33:05.460 --> 01:33:08.220 in a kingdom sexual relationship with your husband 1685 01:33:08.220 --> 01:33:10.340 and all the things that we need to do 1686 01:33:10.340 --> 01:33:12.740 to break free from porn culture. 1687 01:33:12.740 --> 01:33:14.900 It's not just, if you watch porn or not, 1688 01:33:14.900 --> 01:33:17.660 we live in a porn infused culture 1689 01:33:17.660 --> 01:33:20.940 that is influencing the way men and women interact sexually 1690 01:33:20.940 --> 01:33:22.700 and we have got to be the change 1691 01:33:22.700 --> 01:33:24.500 that we wanna see in the world, all right? 1692 01:33:24.500 --> 01:33:26.220 And so we're gonna talk about that. 1693 01:33:26.220 --> 01:33:27.780 As you know, your girl is not a prude. 1694 01:33:27.780 --> 01:33:31.260 And so if you are and you get offended, 1695 01:33:31.260 --> 01:33:32.820 then you might wanna listen to that and replay 1696 01:33:32.820 --> 01:33:35.380 because we're gonna go all the way there, all right? 1697 01:33:35.380 --> 01:33:37.340 I'm looking forward to it. 1698 01:33:37.340 --> 01:33:39.380 Wait, when's the next Patsy again? 1699 01:33:39.380 --> 01:33:41.660 Tuesday, Thursday, or? 1700 01:33:41.660 --> 01:33:43.540 Hunter, you have a calendar in your group. 1701 01:33:43.540 --> 01:33:45.700 It's next Thursday, but if you forget, 1702 01:33:45.700 --> 01:33:47.460 just go and look in your guide section 1703 01:33:48.260 --> 01:33:49.100 and there's a calendar. 1704 01:33:49.100 --> 01:33:50.180 And you guys, this is what the app will get rid of. 1705 01:33:50.180 --> 01:33:52.180 It'll get rid of, hey, when's the next event? 1706 01:33:52.180 --> 01:33:53.100 And what's the link? 1707 01:33:53.100 --> 01:33:54.340 And I'm so excited. 1708 01:33:54.340 --> 01:33:55.900 All right, so love y'all. 1709 01:33:55.900 --> 01:33:56.740 We'll see you soon. 1710 01:33:56.740 --> 01:33:57.580 Bye everyone.