All right, welcome.
It is the top of the hour here in Eastern time zone.
It's eight o'clock.
If you've never met me before, my name is Bethany Cooper.
Excuse me.
I'm one of the heartwork coaches in our phase one group
and I do all kinds of stuff in the community.
So y'all will see me more than just here,
but I'm so glad to be here with you tonight.
For those of you, if you are brand new,
so you've never been to one of our live heartwork sessions,
we call them heart check-ins.
If you can just put in the chat for me,
if you're brand new, let me know.
That's totally fine, Tiffany.
If you guys are driving and you can't come on camera,
that is totally understandable.
And when we go into the breakout session time,
be sure to let me know if you can
or cannot go into breakouts,
because I'll need to make sure we have someone else paired
in that room with the other person.
But yeah, just let me know if you guys are here
for the first time.
Let's see, you started probably,
yeah, oh, that's totally fine, Tasha.
I know what you're asking now.
So I will say anyone that is in phase two,
when you join us for heartwork sessions,
just remember we don't want you bringing up scenarios
with guys in the phase one,
because that can be super confusing
for the ladies in phase one.
So if you have any heartwork questions
that are connected to guys,
if you post those in the phase two group,
or you can even bring those up
in your phase two live sessions,
that's totally fine and we'll help you out
with those there,
because that is legit and it will happen.
Not even because the guys are doing something wrong,
but sometimes we just get triggered from old lies.
So welcome to those of you that,
whether you're in phase one, just brand new,
or you've been here with us for a little bit,
or if you're in phase two coming back
for a little bit more heartwork,
we love you, we're glad that you're here.
Again, if you're joining us for the first time,
so like this is your first heartwork session,
I just wanna like shout out to those people
that are brand new.
Anyone brand new?
I don't think we have anyone brand new so far.
Oh, April.
Okay, welcome.
Welcome to April.
And anyone else joining live or watching the replay,
we're glad that you're a part of the community.
And I just wanna say too,
I'm really glad that you guys said yes to yourself.
And even if you're in this group
and you've been in here three weeks, five weeks,
y'all, it's super important to celebrate
the investment that you're making.
So I wanna just even have you pause.
I wasn't planning on doing this, but let's just go here.
If you've got notes and you've got some paper and pen,
I just want you to write a note to yourself for a second,
one or two sentences, that's all I want you to do,
and thank yourself,
whatever that looks like for you tonight.
Maybe it is thanking yourself for doing the hard work
and loving yourself well.
Maybe for you, it's not giving up on yourself.
Maybe for you this week, it's forgiving yourself.
Just lean into what the Holy Spirit is saying to you,
but one or two sentences.
And if you're watching this in replay,
I wanna encourage you to,
or you're driving and you can't write right now,
to go back and do this later.
You guys don't understand how important it is
to take these moments and thank ourselves.
And on the journey throughout the week,
if you guys are having a really hard week,
I can tell you from experience,
one of the best things you can do is pause and worship
and just sit in an attitude and heart posture of gratitude
for all that God has done, all that he is doing.
Thank your bodies for not giving up on you.
I don't know about anybody else,
but I battled a lot of autoimmune stuff,
IBS from all the stress that I went through for years.
And when I was in heart work,
and even after heart work and just the mentorship program,
God specifically spoke to me to start thanking my body
for being strong for me.
And so if that speaks to you,
I wanna encourage you to start doing that.
Some of you all, one of the best things you can do
in this journey and beyond phase one
is to really reconnect and love your body well
and appreciate it.
And especially those I have found
significant health issues
and have battled for a long time,
there tends to be a lot of disconnect
and the enemy will get you to actually not like your body
and shame your body and all kinds of stuff.
And so to flip that script and thank your body
for being strong for you,
there can be heart healing and things
that come to the surface,
just even pausing and thinking on that.
So I wanna encourage you in that.
I'm gonna go ahead and pray
cause I feel myself starting to get into heart work already.
I'm already going.
So just thank you, Father.
Thank you for your beautiful daughters.
Thank you for who you've made them to be.
Thank you that you led them
through the journey that they've been on.
all the way to here. God, that you've brought them here for such a time as this, for healing,
for redemption, for restitution, for reconciliation. God, that you would teach them how to be one with
you as you are one Jesus with the Father. Holy Spirit, we ask you to come and have your way
tonight. While they might be words that I'm saying, God, let them be edifying to you. Let
them lead your daughters into deeper healing. Holy Spirit, come and weave and resonate in the
hearts and the minds and the bodies and the spirits and the souls of your daughters that
are here live as well as those that will watch the replay. Bring those things up that are in
darkness to the surface, to the light that need revealed for healing. We ask you for,
Jesus, just thank you for your sacrifice, for shedding your blood, for allowing your
body to be broken, for the forgiveness of our sins, for our healing, for our redemption.
But also, just in Jesus' name, we lose the spirit of forgiveness. We lose the spirit of
healing. We lose the spirit of peace. And just in Jesus' name, I'll lose the spirit of revelation
and insight to come and just help us open our eyes to see what we haven't been able to see before,
where there's been blind spots and filters. Help us to see, illuminate, Holy Spirit,
what needs to be known in Jesus' name. So welcome again. I'm super excited tonight just to see where
the Holy Spirit is going to lead. I can already just tell there's just something really sweet in
the atmosphere. I don't know if you guys can feel it, but I just feel it. Just that even the way
God led me to open, like, you beautiful daughters, you beautiful daughters, you. And some of you all
just need to hear that's not just me saying something kind and fluffy. I really believe
the Lord is speaking that over you tonight. So for whoever that's for, that is how he sees you,
and that's where he wants you to rest into that truth tonight. One of the things I want to just
bring up real quick during housekeeping, and I don't have a lot tonight, thankfully. Some of those,
you know, same things. Stay the course, ladies. Keep, you know, keep on keeping on. Just keep
doing the next best step. Don't give up. You know, some of you all in your greatest moments
of resistance, some of you all weeks of resistance, if you don't give up and you
keep going, you're like right on the precipice of that breakthrough. So I just want to encourage
you in that, but here's where I was going to go. I wasn't planning on doing this in
housekeeping, but I felt a nudge from the Lord to mention it. I don't remember who shared
today, if it was a post or if it was in the weekly roll call. Maybe that's where it was at,
but they were asking a question and they were sharing. They're in the forgiveness week and
they're just struggling to move forward in that, but she also said, I'm also feeling
some avoidant feelings. And I just want to let you guys know that that can be very common.
When I went through the heart work, I was thinking back on this and that's why I wanted to bring it,
bring it up. When I went through the heart work process, when I would have moments that would
feel the hardest, like I remember when God brought my dad up again and I had done so much work
regarding my dad over the years that I was just like, I really don't want to go here again.
And it was something in particular that was connected to my dad that the Holy spirit was
nudging me about. And I just, I just didn't want to, and it wasn't that I didn't want the healing.
I just was like, I don't know. I don't know if I wasn't ready in that moment or what it was,
but I remember the Lord just saying, Bethany, I want to help you move forward.
Just take a look at this with me again. And it wasn't immediate you all, but when I did choose
to look at that, that piece, if you will, of what God was showing me and I allowed myself,
maybe pushed myself a little bit to get out of that comfort zone and turn towards the,
the uncomfortableness I was feeling instead of away from it. Cause that's the thing when we feel
that uncomfortable, that angst, if you will, because here we are again, or maybe we're here
for the first time, maybe some of you guys are processing things that you've never processed
before. Someone said today in a post for sure that there are things coming up that they, you know,
have never told anyone. So wherever you find yourself in that kind of that spectrum, if you
will, that line.
of like healing. I want to encourage you don't turn away from those feelings, turn towards them,
but know that God is the one that's going to enable you to face them. Like you're not,
thank you, Lord. If you guys can imagine, like if you had a sister, like you're super,
that the person that you're closest to, and some of you might say, I don't have a friend like that.
And I want to encourage you to know that the Holy Spirit, I know, I know it's hard because
he's not flesh, but he's your friend and he is closer than a brother to you. He will be there
for you to comfort and counsel. But either way, if you can imagine, I have my thing, my screen
blurs, so it's a little hard to see. Like if your friend just came up and linked arms with you,
you know, you're going through something hard and you just, you need that friend that's shoulder to
shoulder with you to walk towards that thing that is the most difficult for you. But if you have
that friend, you can just link arms with, doesn't it just feel better knowing that you're walking
towards that thing with someone that is walking shoulder to shoulder with you, because they've
got your back and they're praying for you and they're walking with you. And what the Lord wants
you to know tonight is that as you turn towards that thing that you've been trying to avoid,
the Lord is linking arms with you. And as you move forward, his face and his eyes are on that thing.
And he is directing his attention towards you and towards the healing and preparing the atmosphere
while he walks beside you. Here's the cool thing you all, he has also gone before you and he's
behind you and he's surrounding you with his presence. So no matter which direction you feel
like attacks come from, the truth is, is that you are in him. You are in him. And so as you move
forward, hope that that encourages you. You're not walking alone. You're not facing any of this alone.
He will give you the courage you need. He'll give you the grace you need, the strength you need,
and the endurance you need. Or maybe it's the hope you need. Whatever that need is tonight, ask him
to fill that up and he will fill it. I want you to imagine just, and some of this y'all,
I'm kind of just riffing with Holy Spirit right now. If you just imagine taking a cup
and whatever it is you have need of, that's what's written on that cup.
And just imagine right now from heaven, the Holy Spirit is just pouring,
the Father's pouring, Jesus Christ, they're pouring into your cup what it is that you have need of.
They're just filling it up. They're just filling it up.
That is how close we can live and move and have our being in the Lord every day.
All day long. Am I saying it's easy? No, because we all face trials and tribulation and hardships
or things that distract us. We also experience joys and life and the busyness, but in one moment
we can pause and receive and think on those things. All right. Jesus loves you, this I know,
for the Bible tells me so. He tells me that he loves you and he tells me that he loves me,
you all. So that's where we're going tonight. We're going to let that be what we're rooted in
as we talk about a little bit about repentance and confession as well as forgiveness tonight.
I really just want to encourage you all to open your hearts when you go into breakout, okay?
Whatever it is that you came in with, you don't have to leave with tonight.
You can literally experience transformation and healing and redemption like never before.
And some of you guys are like, yep, I go to church every week. I've been there, experienced that,
but I believe God has another portion for you tonight. All right. So I want to talk about this
repentance for a minute. As you know, Jackie's taught about this, the book talks about it,
the content talks about it. The Lord knows the why behind the what. So he knows why we've made
the mistakes we've made. Okay. So let's just put that on the table. We've all made mistakes.
Sometimes we're still making mistakes right now, but praise God, there's grace, there's forgiveness,
there's healing. And the Lord knows why we're doing what we're doing. We don't always actually
know why we're doing what we're doing. Even Paul in the Bible says, I don't know why I'm still
doing basically what I don't mean to do. So there's people in the Bible that resonate with
that. We're not alone. So what we can do is we can ask the Holy Spirit to reveal those things
for healing. That's why we really encourage you guys all the time. It's about the Holy Spirit
revealing things for healing. Someone asked, you know,
When they started thinking about forgiveness,
they started thinking of all of the things
and all of the people, all of the mistakes.
And they were like, where do I kind of essentially,
I'm kind of paraphrasing, where do I begin?
Do I have to go through every single one of those things?
And I wanna encourage you guys,
it's about asking the Holy Spirit,
who do I need to forget?
What do I need to confess?
And letting him show you and reveal those things to you
and stepping into that first.
If he leads you to go through that whole room of people,
if you will, fine.
But this isn't about digging up everything of your past.
Okay, so I wanna make sure everyone understands
that part of the healing process in this group.
It's not about digging up all the old skeletons
and making sure they're all the way clean.
Now, if the Lord reveals something to you
that you thought was put to bed,
kind of like I said about my dad,
I had done the work, I thought I buried that thing,
it was done, the Holy Spirit's like,
he didn't pull him up all out of the grave, if you will.
He just said, take a look at this part of what your dad did
and what you're stuck on right now.
So that might be the case for you.
But even the confessions that we need to do, you all,
it's really important.
And I'll say this about the forgiveness stuff too,
because someone, I was answering a lot of posts
that were very good questions.
You all have been so excited.
Some of you guys are really leaning in,
trying to understand and unpack what you're learning.
The confessions need to be revealed.
I would say to you that something that's really important
as you pray about the confessions,
pray about the method of confession, okay?
So tonight we're gonna practice confessing one to another.
When you guys are also working on other confessions,
the Lord reveals to you,
you might feel led to go and confess to somebody in person.
If you feel led to confess to someone in person,
I would encourage you to pray through that real thoroughly
and ask the Lord how to do it and all that stuff.
But go with the understanding that,
like you don't have an expectation
of how they should respond, okay?
Because you've had,
you've been having time to process, right?
And heart work here, and they may not have had that.
So sometimes it doesn't always go the way we want
because they haven't had time to prepare their heart.
That doesn't, I'm not saying that to scare you away
from doing that, because if the Lord leads you to,
there's a reason he's leading you to do that.
We've had a lot of people experience tremendous healing
from that if they felt led to.
Now, some of you all may feel led to write your confession
out on a piece of paper and burn it, okay?
Tonight, again, we're gonna practice
confessing one to another,
but I'm just giving you guys examples of ways
that you can kind of get this stuff up out of your spirit
and your soul and release it and let it go.
All right, so repentance, what is it?
Is it asking, you know, and saying we're sorry?
Yes, it is that.
But it is also a change of mind and a change of heart
that then changes the direction that we're going, okay?
So, and the other thing that's important here, you guys,
it's not just about you being on your best behavior
and just trying to be perfect.
This is about genuinely like allowing God
to transform your heart and your mind
and that your decision to change
is out of a place of love and grace
and understanding that as you choose
to go a different direction,
God has something greater for you
out of his great love for you.
If we get into behavior modification
just to check off a box,
that's where we get ourselves into trouble, okay?
Because the heart change hasn't happened
to support that behavior change long-term.
Behavior change will happen out of heart change.
Is everyone with me?
Okay, I wanna make sure I'm not losing
because I know I'm kind of teaching for a minute here.
All right, so when we come out of agreement with those lies
and with the pattern and the direction we were going in
and we go in another direction, that's the repentance.
Now in the confession piece, James 5.16 says,
confess your faults one to another
and pray for each other so that you might be healed.
The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
So tonight when I'm gonna put you in a breakout here
in just a moment, I wanna encourage you guys,
you don't need to share every little detail, okay?
I'm not asking you to do that.
We're going to be short, brief and powerful.
But I do want you in the sense to confess the whole story.
If you were the perpetrator, confess that you were the perpetrator.
And what is, what do I mean by that?
I mean, if you cheated on your spouse, admit that.
If you struggle with pornography, admit that that's what God's leading you to do.
If you, um, lie, if you, I don't know, I'm just kind of throwing some things out
there, whatever it is, just confess it.
I do think it's also important for those of you that have gone through
any form of abuse as a child.
You do not need to confess for the sin that was committed to you by an
adult when you were under the age of 18.
Okay.
That's not your fault.
You don't need to confess for that.
If you abuse someone else, that might be something you need to confess.
Okay.
Do you see the difference between the two?
All right.
So on your side of the street, if you're the villain, say it, don't sugarcoat it.
But again, you don't need to share all the gory details.
The goal is not for you to receive shame, guilt, or condemnation.
Those are from the enemy.
Conviction is from the Holy spirit and from the Lord.
So lean into whatever the Holy spirit is leading you to confess, trust.
Here's the thing that this is a safe place that your sisters are going to love you.
They're not going to judge you.
They're not going to condemn you.
I will tell you what typically happens on the day after, even the night of, or
the night, like after a live session like this, where we do confession and
repentance, and I'll tell you this I'm doing on the forefront so that we
can get ahead of the enemy.
The enemy will come and tell you.
You should have never said that.
You should have never shared that they're judging you.
They think this, they try to whisper all these lies.
So I'm just debunking all that right now, because it's not true, truly.
If you guys lean into whatever the Lord is leading you to confess, I believe
you're going to experience freedom and love and acceptance, and know that we're
going to be praying for you while you're in the breakouts, all right.
Fears that normally rise up, as I mentioned, our judgment, I can't do it.
People will also, I can't, I can't confess.
They'll think I'm, I'm the worst thing ever or whatever.
Also, I hear a lot, my sins are too much, and that's also a lie from the enemy.
When we don't confess, we remain tethered to whatever that thing is.
And it binds us to that thing or that person.
Okay.
Sins we don't repent or confess can create blind spots,
filters, and false identities.
So we want to come out of those false identities.
We want to come out of all of the things that are creating these blind spots for
us and step further into freedom tonight.
All right.
So here we go.
Um, that's totally fine.
I had two people.
Okay.
Mickey, that's fine.
Good point.
If anyone has small children around, um, I would recommend having earbuds
in as you listen to other ladies, just cause this is super private stuff.
Um, probably not the best content for littles.
And then also, if you have a child around, I would just say, put it in the
chat when you go into the breakout room, because you can always type into the
chat so you can at least do the confession part and just, you know, ladies, if you
have someone in your breakout like that, just at least acknowledge them and just
say, you know, I'm just going to use Mickey as an example, Mickey, so proud of,
you know, you don't have to say proud.
Thank you so much for sharing Mickey.
And you guys can then just continue to share in the group.
Um, but then you might weave after everybody's done confessions to just
talking and getting to know each other, but make sure you do the confessions
first, that's really important.
Okay.
All right.
Let me get these rooms set up.
I think I addressed everyone's concerns in the chat there.
All right.
We're going to do nine minutes.
I should have three to four people.
So that should give you a decent amount of time.
Love each other really well.
Here you go.
Praying for you all.
If you need to stay in the main room, that's fine.
I'll be watching all the rooms to make sure people get other people in there.
Kelly stay with me.
Oops, I just moved her.
or sorry you all.
i'm just trying to make sure these ladies are all situated give me one more minute.
I think everyone's got at least one person in their room with them.
All right, we got one more here.
All right, father, just thank you so much, we thank you for your amazing grace, and it is a sweet sound.
And as the song say says that saved a wretch like us, thank you Lord God for just continuing to bring.
Healing redemption grace, we thank you for conviction, but we thank you also for the lifeline.
Father, I just see right now the picture of like a life life preserver being thrown to someone that's out in the water that had been drowning so Lord we just thank you that you're sending life preservers out that you are rescuing your daughters tonight.
Even from areas where they have struggled and they've you know, been going around the same mountain and they haven't known why and and Lord things that have been down in their souls and their spirits that have some long been forgotten Lord we thank you that you're revealing these areas for healing that you're bringing to light areas that we need to confess that we need to repent God, we thank you for.
Just giving us the courage tonight to step into that redemptive action of confession, where we thank you that you would.
Or just go into their timeline and redeem their timeline from beginning to end Lord that you would just move in and throughout tonight and just allow your anointing your healing to flow, we thank you God that you would enable them to.
Lord, thank you that you would enable them to see themselves the way that you see them give them a fresh perspective of the love of the father and that they are no longer orphans that they've never been an orphan but Lord we thank you that you would just just come and remove and bridge that gap.
Or that you would close any any gap that had been a barrier that would cause them to feel like they can never connect with you fully we thank you that you are the repair of the breach and we thank you that you would take all those broken and fallen places and lift them up so that there can be healing and redemption and Lord we just thank you for.
Coming in and just transforming and renewing our minds tonight in a new way, help us to hear the heart of heaven tonight help us to receive your understanding your revelation Lord, even in the midst of struggles that we endure here on this earth we thank you God that you are with us that you never leave us that you never forsake us.
And that you've gone before us that you've made a way for us to step even into the healing and the freedom that you have prepared for us tonight, we thank you that you would just continue to help us to hear what your spirit is saying right now in this moment, even as we drive.
I see, I see Ruth driving and it just kind of made me think how many times I've been driving in the past. And in, in moments of frustration my own life I had less patience for other people that would cut me off and then one day I accidentally cut someone else off and I just remember the Holy Spirit saying to me see how he see how easy it is for sometimes you don't notice someone is there, and how I felt so bad.
And so the Lord's taught me a lot now some people just cut us off right.
But I don't think it's always intentional. And I do believe that God wants us to have grace for people in our hearts that which we want to receive God let us be those people that would extend that to, to someone else we thank you Lord that you say in your word and someone verse three that we will be standing
like a flourishing tree, I think I read this one last week but it came up in my spirit again by God's design deeply rooted by the Brooks of bliss bearing fruit in every season of our lives that we will never dry, they will never faint, that will be ever blessed and ever prosperous.
And interestingly enough, I never do this but something just keeps coming up in my spirit when I like look to make sure when I saw Ruth driving I wanted to make sure I said the right name.
And when I did that her little Canada flag is right there and the leaf just keeps coming to mind and here I am reading the scripture about a flourishing tree that basically never withers it never, it never faints it never withers.
But the seasons do change at times, right?
So sometimes the trees lose their leaves and seasons change,
but this is for Ruth, but it's also for everyone else.
The reminder that God is doing a new thing.
Can you not perceive it?
He's bringing rivers, and I might be saying this backwards,
but in the wasteland and streams
where there's been a desert dryness.
And so Lord, we just pray right now
over anybody that's experienced any level of dryness,
if you will, in their relationship with you, Father,
Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit,
maybe even in their relationships with other people
where they've felt unnoticed or forgotten,
or at times just like they don't matter to other people
as much as they invest and pour into those around them.
Lord, we just thank you that you would just
continue to speak to them about their identity
and who they are and the blessing that they are.
God, we thank you that where at times they felt
like there's a little drip, drip, drip of your Holy Spirit,
we thank you for a deluge, a deluge of your Holy Spirit.
Y'all, if you've never looked up the word deluge,
look it up, D-E-L-U-G-E.
Years ago, I went on a young adult retreat
and it was called Deluge.
And it was all about just really the,
kind of like a tsunami wave.
And I know that scares a lot of people, that word tsunami,
but just an in flood of the Holy Spirit,
his transformation in our life, just being so full.
And how interesting that I did the cup thing earlier
and I had no plan on using the word deluge
or talking about that,
but it's just hear the Holy Spirit saying
he wants to do a new thing in your relationship
with the Father, with Jesus Christ and with him.
He wants to become more and more and more real.
They, the Trinity, three in one,
wanna become more real to all of you every day.
We thank you, Lord, that tonight,
as we're talking about confession and repentance,
Lord, that you're continuing to come in
and help the ladies to give thanks
for every area of their lives,
even the areas that they're learning tonight,
just as that reminder that we don't know what we don't know
because we don't know it.
So Lord, help us to extend grace to ourselves,
help us to see the areas where we can make changes today
and then tomorrow we can make a change tomorrow
that will lead us further into your big, bold,
beautiful plan for our lives,
the fullness of who you originally created us to be,
that we don't ever have to be in a place of settling
for less than your best.
So Lord, we just thank you for,
yeah, Lord, we just thank you for revival fire
in our hearts, you all.
Revival starts with us.
Forever, the church, the body of Christ
has talked about revival, revival in the land.
Well, revival starts with us
and it starts in our hearts as we heal.
And as God comes in and he touches
and he awakens these areas and he stirs them up,
the Bible also talks about,
and again, I didn't mean on saying this,
but it's just coming up in my spirit.
So I'm gonna go with it.
Talks about stirring up the gifts of God within us.
We play a role in that, you all.
So we can pray into and ask God to stir up the gifts of God
that have already been planted inside of us,
but we also are participants
and need to take action to cultivate those things.
So sometimes cultivating the gifts of God in our lives
is doing a class to learn about something.
So if you want or feel led to grow in your ability to pray,
take a class or study scriptures on prayer.
So maybe your thing is hospitality,
you feel gifted to serve,
maybe joining the welcome committee, not committee,
but I can't think of what it's called, team at your church.
So stirring up the gifts of God within
and seeing what God will do through it.
Welcome back, everyone.
I'm over talking about something
I never planned on talking about,
but it came up in my spirit, so there it was.
So glad to have you guys back.
It's always a ride, right?
I'll always take you guys somewhere.
Hopefully you enjoy it.
All right, so who wants to share
from your private breakout room what you, I'm sorry.
Who wants to share with the whole group
what you shared in your private breakout room?
That's what I was trying.
I don't know what I'm saying right now.
I think you guys know what I mean.
All right, Brittany, go ahead.
Help me out here.
Yeah, yeah, I can help you out there.
So in breakout room, we talked about a couple of things,
but I'm going to share a little bit of what I've learned.
the common thing was just like forgiving like family and
Just even
children and family as well, so I know I share that
The Lord has placed in my heart to forgive my family
just because like I come from a family who's tried the best they can with raising each and every person and
and my childhood my family's codependent and I'm growing up and that system was a little bit hard because
Going into my adulthood. I've had to take care of everyone else along with myself and
Being in ministry, and I know some decisions that I made was of my own choice
which I don't blame them for that, but I'm the Lord has brought up more that I should forgive my family because
That's just how they're operating and for me
I'm not operating in that way anymore since God has continuously worked on me for that for about four years now and
Just doing that and forgiving my family not only just for that and my dad but just for
The emotional unavailability that they have so my family appears to be healthy on the outside
But when you start having conversations with them, and if you try to it's always
Surface level anytime you try to go deep. It's like a red zone and they're like nope
I am going to be on my phone
Watch my TV
And I think I may only have maybe two family members. I can actually have deep conversations with so
it's taken some effort, but
Other than that, I'm not trying to change them. But yeah, just letting my couple family members know like hey, I'm here
Just having conversations and having a safe space. Oh, yeah
So good. So stay there. Don't don't leave me up. So what is the confession part for you?
Like what is yeah, go ahead. Oh, yeah, so, um, I would say like
I when I was talking to Laura the other day too, I would say like I like I really forgive my family for just
the emotional availability that they don't have for me just because like I was
treated differently
So that happened of course a lot of years and that really hurt quite a bit
So, okay, I'm gonna help divide this a little bit kind of just to give you some clarity to so I'm so proud of you
first and foremost for sharing because we're gonna we're gonna unpack the what you just shared here in just a moment, but
Confession is is our part. Okay, so that would be more like is there any area?
That you feel God is showing something
Showing you something that you need to confess like where you played a role in something
That brought an unhealthy
You know dynamic or situation
Yeah, I'd say I've been in in that whole situation
I've still been like an enabler in a sense because I would always like try to
Help someone in my family like my grandmother who I'm still like a caretaker for
so there was always like some type of rescuing and
Those types of situations
I would do that to kind of like fix them at times because I was still trying to get my own needs met and
The Lord really showed me that like there was a communication issue with me, too
And so since then I've been really working on that
But yeah, a lot of it was just in order to get my own needs met
I would have to like create a situation in order for it to
Doable so that way I can still continue to
Manage my own life and things seem to be like more performance and perfecting the situation in order for it for myself to be
Okay
Yes. Okay, so good. Okay, you shared some something super important when you were sharing that confession you said
I tried to fix them
To get my own needs met
and so
You know where when we're in in relationship with people and it is hard I do this too I do this sometimes more with my spiritual daughters
because
They're younger. So it still feels like
Sometimes I need a parent when they're not asking for that, right?
And my dynamics are a little different too because they're my spiritual daughters not biological all that kind of stuff
But i'm using that as an example
It is actually like me crossing a boundary if they're not asking for my input
Yeah, okay
and so
It can create an unhealthy dynamic and codependency and i'm not, you know, like
Allowing them to grow and make mistakes and be who they are, you know in some sense
And so I'm using that as an example
Allowing them to grow and make mistakes and be who they are, you know in some sense and so
Some of that I was doing out of trying to protect them
from getting hurt.
But the reality is, is again, they have to make choices
and they have to grow and they have to learn.
And so even adults, even our parents
and people that are unhealthy, you all, we get really,
I'm not saying you, Brittany, do or were,
but for myself, I would get really mad at people
when they would cross my boundaries or resent them for it.
But the reality is, is if I allow them to,
and I'm not setting the healthy boundary that I need to set,
really, I'm the one that needs to shift and change.
Now, do they also?
Probably.
But I can only change who?
This girl right here.
I'm the only one that I can change myself and that is it.
And so you all just,
I wanted to kind of pull this out a little bit
because so many of us find ourselves in these scenarios.
Even with men, we try to fix them and we're like,
well, you know, he showed me this little glimmer
of maybe this little tiny bit of, he's a nice guy,
but then there's this big glaring, no, no, he's not.
He's not healthy.
But we convince ourselves in this little glimmer
that he's great or in these situations.
So great job, great share.
I don't want to forget.
So as you kind of like lean into, you know,
really owning and asking the Holy Spirit,
like, where do I need to set healthy boundaries
in the days ahead?
And he'll show you, he'll show you.
Now, everyone keep in mind,
when you set healthy boundaries,
that doesn't automatically mean
that people are going to be happy about it.
They actually, some of them might get angry,
but that doesn't mean you're not supposed to
set that healthy boundary.
Every time, you know,
we don't want to do things out of spite.
And I don't think, you know, Brittany,
that's what you're doing.
But as the Lord shows us what to do, you know,
what happens when we create boundaries
is it brings other people to crossroads
and now they have a choice to make.
Are they going to make the choice
that they need to make to become healthier?
Or are they going to choose to go the other direction?
And that's up to them.
Yeah, that's up to them.
And sometimes y'all, it is super hard
because we want everyone to be on the journey with us.
We do.
But not everybody is going to journey with you right now.
That's been in your story,
whether that's your family, your friends.
You know, I just had something the last few days,
like great friends with someone,
but just, man, they just keep blowing me off.
And then they're actually using God
as their reason that they're blowing me off.
And I'm like, no, no, that's not okay anymore.
And now obviously you guys,
I believe in the Holy Spirit leading people,
but I also believe when you give your word to someone
that that matters too.
And so I think that it's really important for us
to not use God as an excuse all the time.
I am led by the Holy Spirit all the time,
but if I tell my friend I'm going to show up for them,
sometimes I have to cancel,
but if it's a constant thing,
there's something not right there, okay?
And I don't have to be okay with it,
and you all don't either.
We all want to be in healthy relationships
with our friends and other people as well.
Okay, so the last thing I was going to say
on when you were sharing two things,
and the reason I want to mention this is because,
and not to embarrass you, but this happens,
and it's important for me to teach it.
When you guys are sharing, I do this too sometimes,
when I start talking about something
that's really hard for me,
sometimes I'll get like stuck in my throat
or I'll get kind of that emotional kind of feel
start to bubble up.
And when that happens, that's a signal to me
that you guys have, you know, that's tender,
that's tender for you.
And that happened when you were talking about,
like when you were red zoned
and they were emotionally unavailable.
And then also when you said the phrase,
I was treated differently.
And so I want to encourage you
to lean into that a little more,
because I feel like God wants to heal
that area a little more.
And it doesn't mean you guys
that we're not going to still have some level of tenderness,
you know, but typically that to me is a signal of like,
I'm just paraphrasing this as like a hot zone, if you will.
So that means it's still pretty hurt inside.
Okay.
I'm really kind of just bringing this down real basic,
but hopefully that was helpful for you.
I see Nadine said,
when you say lean in a little bit more, what do you mean?
So what that means to me is like.
Like if God was sitting here with me
and we were having a conversation, he's my dad.
And some of you guys, I didn't have a dad like this,
but I see other daughters with their dads
that are super close and this is how it works.
If they're having a conversation with their dad
and they need comfort, they lean in, right?
They lean in, they get a hug.
Maybe they lean in and let dad hug them
while dad's giving them advice.
So when I say lean in, to me it's
come a little closer to the Lord, okay?
So lean into what he's revealing.
So the Lord's showing you,
like in this case, I was talking to Brittany,
the Lord's showing her these areas that
she's wanting to set boundaries and needs to
in this pain that she was talking about.
So I would then lean in a little bit more.
I would go to the Lord and say,
Lord, if this is me, I'm pretending I'm Brittany.
Lord, last night when I was sharing,
these were the things that were still
really causing tenderness and I feel vulnerable
in these areas or whatever her verbiage might be.
Lord, can you show me if there's anything else
that needs revealed for healing in this area?
So when I say leaning in, ladies,
even when I say that to you guys in text,
that's what I mean.
Just ask another really great question
and see what God wants to uncover there.
Yeah, okay.
I think,
Lorraine, I'm not sure what you mean
on peacekeeper or peacemaker.
So if you put that in the chat, I'll circle back to that.
Okay, Jessica, go ahead.
In my group, I was talking about being passive
and I put off things like reading my Bible
and the Lord's been convicting me of that
and going, I didn't share it in the group completely,
but just being in the habit of prayer.
You're gonna meet a guy, so I need you to come close,
draw close, and just developing healthy habits
of taking care of things each day
and just putting it off.
That's so good.
So good.
Thank you for sharing that.
And you all, yeah, I mean, think about it this way,
whether you guys realize this or not,
when you get married, you have less time by yourself.
You do.
And so, man, soak up this time.
I'm telling you, I'm not minimizing
because I didn't want to be single anymore either.
And I didn't like when people would be like,
just use this time to be with the Lord.
So that's not what I'm necessarily saying.
Obviously, I am saying that,
but what I'm trying to tell you
is that you will appreciate the time you're taking right now
drawing as close to the Lord as you can
in this healing process and on your journey.
You will appreciate it very much.
I'm so glad that I spent a lot of extra time with the Lord
when I was going through my healing journey
and I don't regret it one bit.
I don't.
Okay, so yes, lean in, ladies.
So in that case, when I say lean in,
I'm like, spend time with the Lord, make time with Him.
Y'all, some of you guys, thank you, Lord.
Some of y'all need to put on some music
and slow dance with the Lord.
And I know like, you're gonna be like,
well, that's kind of weird.
Well, just try it.
Just try it.
Some of you guys have never had a slow dance with a man
where you felt safe.
You haven't.
And some of you didn't have a dad that did that with you.
And God wants to teach you what it's like to be loved
and romanced and adored.
And He will start, and I can attest to this.
This is why I'm telling you this.
Sometimes my dancing with the Lord in my kitchen
was fun and upbeat.
And I just, you know, there's a song like,
Dance Like Nobody's Watching.
It's an old song, but that's kind of what I'm thinking of.
But also there were times where I just felt led
to put on a slow song and just let the Lord love me
and just be open to receive what He was pouring in
in those moments.
So for whoever that's for, I encourage you to go for it.
And, you know, if you need to close the window
so people don't see you, do that.
But just let yourself be free.
Y'all, that's how I started.
And then before long, I didn't care who was looking.
I didn't.
Have fun with it.
He will meet you there.
Okay, Lucy.
Go ahead.
Awesome.
Okay.
Hi, Bethany.
Hi, everybody.
Hello.
So, hey.
Yes, I felt to raise my hand tonight on this one.
A girl in my group gave me some really great advice.
I appreciate that.
But yeah, I still feel to share it.
So when I was in the relationship I was in all of last year,
I was back and forth going, is this the right guy?
Is this not the right guy?
Are there things that are gonna jump out and be bad?
And, you know, and there were things like from his past
that were pretty intense
and I didn't know if they were dealt with.
But all of last year,
I was the one second guessing and afraid
and talking to all my friends,
like, I don't know if we should stay together.
I don't know if he's the one.
I don't know, I feel all this fear.
So he was feeling that all last year.
And then he finally broke up with me twice.
It was super dramatic and it was New Year's Eve
and all the things, you know, break up, get back together.
I miss you, break up again.
But I didn't tell that to my friends.
You know, they heard the story of all his breakups.
But the reality was, is I was the one afraid
the whole time we were dating mostly
and didn't know that or didn't know what to do.
Other thing is with my housemate right now,
I feel fearful around like,
I don't feel respected in our house
and the way I'm treated often.
But I also, I'm not sure what to bring up,
what's in my head, is there something to stand on
and feel afraid to bring it up
because she's a quite forceful personality,
like a former division one basketball player.
And so I just want to confess that I'm holding that
in my head and not bringing it up to her.
And I'm second guessing if I should or could even.
So this is where things are.
So I think I'm in victim mode there, confessing that.
And definitely with the last guy,
I'm sure it wasn't fun for him.
And I'm just confessing that I was that one.
Thank you so much for sharing that.
So you all, when you are going through scenarios like this,
I appreciate what Lucy was sharing in the sense that,
some relationships didn't work out
because we were the ones, right?
That whether that we withheld or we didn't engage
or there was something we did.
So allowing ourselves to surrender those things
and confess them.
And then on the feeling disrespected,
I really felt led to kind of mention this.
I would encourage you, Lucy,
or anyone else that this is speaking to,
to ask the Lord,
what is the root of why you feel disrespected?
And I would encourage you to write it out
because sometimes you all,
when we are gonna go talk to someone
or we feel led to talk to someone and we're nervous,
what can happen is we can go to talk
and stuff can come out all wrong.
So if you get your thoughts out
and process what's happening,
I think it'll also reveal a couple different things.
It's gonna reveal, is this really about her?
Because you were saying you're trying to discern,
is this real?
Is this not real?
So as you're processing what you're writing,
you'll be able to like,
okay, Lord, is this just me being triggered?
Or is there something that she is doing
that I need to use my voice and say,
hey, when you do this, I feel this way.
I want you guys to practice that verbiage.
Did everyone catch it?
And again, this isn't blaming
and pointing fingers at somebody.
This isn't a nice, kind conversation.
When this happens or when you do this,
I feel this way.
That is ownership verbiage.
If you say things like, you made me feel blank.
Well, there is no ownership of your own feelings
in that statement.
Y'all understand that?
You are automatically becoming a victim.
So we own our feelings and we process and communicate.
And you can even say like,
I've even said to my now husband,
like I'm feeling triggered by this
and I'll explain whatever it is.
But while what you said caused the trigger,
I know that it actually is connected to all this stuff
that has nothing to do with you.
And I try to communicate really well.
And then that can then create that space
for truth and healing and everything
versus everybody putting walls up and shutting down.
Does that make sense, everyone?
Okay. So just keep that in mind. Yeah. Just keep that in mind as you're processing. And
I would even pray before you talk to her, not in the sense that she would change the
way she is, but just pray for God to give her wisdom as well. As you guys come together
to have a conversation and that you guys would both just have kindness in your hearts towards
each other. As you communicate, it can really make a difference. You all, if we pray before
we go into conversations. You're welcome. So good. Such a great question. All right.
So I want to turn and shift us a little bit. Now I know a couple of you guys, um, mentioned
about forgiveness. So that's kind of, we were going there tonight too, but I also, I did
see Carrie, your, your comment in the chat there. I've been asking God to help me dance
with men. I'm scared a lot to partner dance. Yeah. Yeah. And some of that you guys, as
you know, when you are in which Carrie, I know you're in phase two, but when you get
into phase two and we start encouraging you to get out and interacting with men in that
capacity, that'll help you face some of that. But ways you guys can implement, implement
that in phase one is not necessarily go out and find guys to dance with right now, because
we're asking you to pause on the guys. But what we do want you to practice is looking
guys in the eye, making eye contact, saying hello to a guy, letting a guy open the door
for you. Not just being like, you know, if a guy offers to carry your groceries out to
the car, y'all I've noticed some stores are doing that a little bit more again, where
they're offering to carry the groceries out and don't just turn them away and be like,
no, I got that. I got it. Yes. Why? Thank you so much. I would love that. How, how awesome
is that to be cared for and let somebody help you. If you guys didn't know Jackie did
the 1pm session today, catch that recording that replay. I was listening to it a little
bit and it was really good. She was talking about kind of that, that aspect of leaning
into the divine feminine and even repenting for ways that we have not walked in the divine
feminine. So definitely want to make sure you guys know about that. I'm not going to
go into that because she already covered it today. It's really, really good, but I do
want to talk about two things real quick. As we start to turn towards the forgiveness
aspect she's saying here in the book, the sin cycle is what produces shame, condemnation
and guilt. True, true repentance will break the cycle and set us free from mindsets that
are behind the patterns. Okay. So again, if you guys are struggling to figure out why
you're going around the same mountain over and over and over again, here, this is, this
has to do with that. A simple definition of repentance, again, is a change of mind,
change of heart. Repentance also includes turning around, as I mentioned, and submitting
to God's plan for your life. Repentance says, stop the car. I'm getting out. So we're not
going in that same direction anymore. All right. I felt led to kind of recap that because
I want to read this to you. The word of God says, for the Lord corrects those he loves
just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights. If you have only known punishment
or harsh discipline from authority figures like parents, bosses, pastors, or even oppressive
spouses, then this is Jackie talking. Let me tell you what a course correction from
father God via the Holy spirit looks and sounds like. It sounds a lot like this. Hey, baby
girl, you're better than this. You don't have to live this way. This is not who I created
you to be. Let me teach you something new. Sweetheart, you're taking the hard road. Take
my hand and I will show you a better way. Daughter, you're headed for danger. Listen
to me. Trust me. This road is a dead end. Stop the car and let me drive. I will get
us to safety. Any voice of correction that comes your way that is harsh, demeaning, degrading,
that causes fear or confusion or makes you want to run and hide is not God. You all,
it is not God. That is not his voice. And some of the people will be like, well, God
corrected people. Yes he did. But you guys, it never says in the Bible that his voice
was harsh when he spoke to them, he might've been direct, but it did not say that he was
harsh. God's correction will never diminish you, make you feel small or put you in the
corner. So that movie, you know, dirty dancing where baby was put in the corner, y'all God
doesn't put baby in the corner and doesn't put you there either. Some of you all, I just,
it just came right up in my spirit.
Some of y'all have literally been put in the corner at school where you weren't allowed
to look at the kids.
Maybe even at home, you're put in the corner or some kind of harsh discipline.
I don't know what that looks like, but somebody tonight needs to know that that is not the
way of God, the father.
Okay.
So he's totally different.
Okay.
Next piece I want to share.
And again, I'm turning towards forgiveness, but I feel like these are important.
This part of the book says, never let them see you sweat.
She's talking here about the old commercial, you know, and the tagline, don't let them
see you sweat.
But what I thought was really important to point out, if we're going to be, excuse me,
if we're going to going to get free and be our real selves, we have to throw out all
the cultural lies.
Being weak is okay.
It's okay to admit you don't have it all together and that you have made mistakes.
So I wanted you guys to know that again, tonight, that it is okay to make mistakes and God,
he knows the mistakes we make, but he's not up there making this big, long list of all
the things he can't wait to yell at you about how the Holy spirit on that a little bit,
you know?
Okay.
So here again, I just feel this.
I'm just going to go with it.
So some of you guys, and again, that our parents, you know, and I'm not making excuses for their
unhealthy behavior, but our parents did the best that they could do with the information
that they had at the time.
Okay.
But some of you all had parents that waited up and would scold you as soon as you got
home, even if you didn't even do anything wrong because they had a horrible day.
And there was a lot of abusive, harsh words spoken to you.
And God wants you to know tonight that that was not his heart for you.
That was not his heart for you.
That was not his path for you.
And it broke his heart when it happened to you.
So on that note, we're going to turn towards forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a lot of different things.
You guys, it's, you know, God's wanting to weave together all kinds of stuff.
Romans 8, 28 says, so we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven
together to fit into God's perfect plan of bringing good into our lives.
For we are his lovers who have been called to fulfill his design purpose.
I want to encourage you guys, since we kind of talked about confession, I'm probably going
to just open up for Q&A and you guys can ask any question you want.
But I want to encourage you guys this week as you're leaning into forgiveness, even if
you're in week three, if the word brings people up to forgive, I want you to get that forgiveness
prayer out that's on that worksheet.
And I just want you to work through it because I want you to practice keeping short accounts.
What do I mean by that?
Short accounts is if somebody tomorrow hurts you or offends you, that you'll keep a short
account that you won't go throughout your whole day and carry that with you into the
night and sleep on it.
And then you have it the next day.
A short account is like, let's get that out of your soul and spirit right now, as quick
as you can.
Okay.
So some of you guys might want to take a screenshot of that forgiveness prayer, keep it in your
phone and just as soon as you have forgiven or I'm sorry, as soon as something happens,
you know, find a quiet space and pray that forgiveness prayer, forgiveness.
When you guys think about it this way to keep in mind that when our hearts are broken,
our broken hearts aren't forward with us.
So our broken hearts will tell us that we're okay, but we're not.
And the forgiveness prayer, unfortunately, like my book pages are different than your
all's, but I can tell you that it is right before chapter 12.
That's what I can tell you for sure.
So I want you guys to get a little bit more closure.
And the way you're going to do that is through choosing to forgive Ephesians 4, 23 says,
forgive one another, just as God forgave you because of what Christ has done.
Colossians 3, 13 says, remember the Lord forgave you.
So you must also forgive other people.
So as we choose to forgive you guys, that's how the tethers are getting broken.
I've told this story before, but this is literally the, one of the best analogies I've come up
with so far is like the tether pole, tether ball pole.
When we were younger in elementary school, if you're really young, you probably don't
have one or didn't see one, but it's a pole that has a string, a rope and a ball connected
to it.
And that ball cannot get off that rope and that tether pole until somebody.
He takes it off or whatever.
So imagine that you are the ball.
Okay.
And the tether is the areas that you have not confessed, repented
and chosen not to forgive.
And it links you to the pole, which is the other person in that situation.
And you will never move away from that pole because you're
tethered to it until you forgive.
I don't know about you guys, but the first time I learned about that,
I was like, wait a minute, what I'm tethered to this person that
I'm choosing to not forgive right now.
That means I'm connected to them.
You all in the spirit.
I don't want to be connected to that person.
I'm going to forgive them.
And I'm going to do what God's word commands as well, because
that's a, it's a command to forgive.
And I'm going to get the heck away from this person and I'm
going to move my left forward.
And I'm trying to be a little silly because forgiveness is a, it's a heavy
topic and I know people struggle, but y'all for real, let's, let's get away
from these people, let's create some distance in the spirit.
Let's move our life forward and see what God will do.
Yes.
Freedom is powerful.
Y'all where the spirit of the Lord is.
There is freedom.
When we walk, thank you, father.
When we walk in resentment and bitterness and unforgiveness, and
we continue to walk in that, that's how bitter roots are formed.
So if you got, if you all do any kind of search on bitter root scriptures,
you'll see there's several and God does not want us to have these bitter roots.
So when we choose to forgive, we're also getting that, all
that stuff will start to come out.
Unforgiveness and bitterness and resentment are like poison.
And I can imagine, I think most of you probably don't want to live your life
with the inside of you full of poison, right?
Just think of it that way.
Is it hard to forgive?
If you think about it that way, it will be, but here's the good thing.
God will enable you right now, right now.
He will enable you.
He will empower you to forgive.
He never asked us to do something.
He hasn't already already done.
Jesus on the cross chose to forgive y'all.
He went through the worst of the worst of the worst, and he chose to forgive.
And what did he say?
For they know not what they do.
Y'all have been through some horrible stuff, bad, even literally, and it's
not the worst thing I've ever been through, but even some stuff we're still
going through in this, these churches.
And it's just stuff that I'm like, man, they are not acting like the body.
They are not acting like the father and it hurts.
It hurts you all.
But like, I can either get bitter and resentful and stay there.
Or I can say what I'm telling you, while I'm preaching to myself
tonight, a little bit, keep a short account.
Father, no, I'm not going to be like them.
I'm not going to do what they're doing.
I'm going to lean into you.
I'm going to forgive and I'm going to let you take me higher.
I'm going to let you take me higher and I'm going to let you take me deeper and
further than I ever thought I could go.
So for whoever that's for tonight, I'm saying to you, as you choose to forgive
the thing you've been longing for and asking for, and you've been desperate for.
And you're wondering, how can I obtain that thing?
Some of you all, it is forgiveness.
And I know that you don't want me to tell you that, but that is the truth.
It is forgiveness is the path to freedom.
It is the path to life.
It is the path to abundant joy, unspeakable and full of glory.
It is.
Does, okay.
Let me say this too.
Will those feelings always come as soon as you feel it?
Will those feelings always come as soon as you forgive the joy, the hope, the
happiness?
No.
Sometimes you are not going to feel any different at all in the moment, but as
you continue to walk forward, you will start to feel different.
Sometimes some of you all will choose to forgive someone and they'll text you or
call you, or you'll see them the next day.
I'm not, I'm not joking.
Like legit, this stuff happens.
And sometimes it's because God's giving you an opportunity to continue to walk that
forgiveness out in the physical, because it's another layer of what you need.
Sometimes it's a test from the enemy.
He's trying to see if you'll go right back into that stuff.
If he uses that person to act like a snake.
Legit that will happen
But continue continue on don't don't take your eyes off the father where he's taking you keep moving forward
Because he's got good things ahead for you. He does he does
All right. I'm gonna open it up any questions
You can ask me anything and I'll do my best to answer you can be about any of the content Oh Alani
Eleni Lonnie, I don't I
Hope you can hear me. I'm driving but
When you talked about the being tethered to the pole
I think my thing is I think I've forgiven my mom, but apparently she keeps popping up
Like in my dreams or something
Somebody will be like, oh feel like and they have no idea what's going on between me and my mom
But they'll mention seems like there's somebody who has a critical voice in your life that you need to like
Break that or forgive that person
So I feel like I'm constantly doing that but I don't even think I have anything against my mom
but it's just something along those lines or I'm trying to figure out like I thought I forgave her forgave her, but I
Have this critical voice in like in my head maybe
So something along those lines is what I'm trying to figure out
What what that forgiveness aspect is?
What's what's happening in the dream? Like give me an example of something that happened in a dream. Um
I recently had a dream where
Basically basically she wasn't in the dream but the feeling of being
Like kind of not attended to like
everybody else was attended to but
When it was my turn, I was overlooked
And then there's like a critical voice of like rejection
And
Yeah, sorry my
Creators right now. Yeah, great. Okay. My next question. This is how I unpack stuff you also I'm giving you an example
I would do the same thing if I was coaching one-on-one
so
in the dream
Your mom wasn't there. I'm gonna kind of reiterate make sure I'm following you
You know, I've attended to and you felt overlooked and you noticed that rejection was present there
So, yeah, what makes you connect that to your mom?
um, actually it was when I was praying I sent the dream to one of my friends and she
She picked up that there's like is there some is there some familiar like familial like?
Something about my mom and my my relationship to my mom and my dad
but yeah, the dream was about going camping and
In like a small group setting and everybody knew about the trip except me and
it was like we're all supposed to share how we're doing and then
Every time it was my turn like there was a distraction and then people would be like, oh, let's attend to that thing and
And then I finally got mad and was like who's in charge here
Okay, this is good. Okay, so I
It's okay. We're going somewhere. That's what I want to have you stop for a sec
When's the first time you recall?
Let's just go with your mom for now
You feel like your mom
Didn't meet a need that you had in the moment and just whatever comes to your mind first
I mean I had a thing where I was
In high school
And
I guess she like emotionally she wasn't there for me
Okay, is there something specific about the situation that you were going through and you needed her to be there for you and she wasn't
That you're comfortable with sharing she would always
Shoot always have like talks with my sister, but when I tried to open up
she I
Don't think she understood the gravity of how I was feeling
So, I just never saw her as somebody I could go to did you feel like she understood your sister?
Yeah, like she would spend time trying to figure like
Comfort her
Okay. So here's here's where I see the rejection coming in in this situation
You at some point probably before this time is my is my gut feeling
Mm-hmm
Believed the lie from the enemy that your mom
Loves your sister more than you
And
Because yeah, I was believed it then started to I'll call it like branching off into other things
so for example
Mom listens to my sister and understands her,
but mom doesn't take the time to fully understand me, okay?
And I'm not saying these things aren't real,
but I want you guys to understand
when this kind of thing happens, typically,
now she's giving us an example of something in high school,
because that's what came to her mind first.
So great job on that.
But what I would do from there is ask the Lord,
was there another time before that
where I felt like my mom didn't love me enough,
didn't listen to me, or, you know,
you can even say to the Lord that was similar to this,
but it happened before where I believe the lie
that I'm not loved as much as my sibling or whoever,
you know, for you guys, it might be somebody else,
but in this case, what the Lord is highlighting to me
is that there's a lot of comparison,
the enemies cause her to compare herself
to the love that her sister's getting versus herself,
or maybe even other siblings, hence the camping trip.
Y'all, this is how God,
he brings these things up through these dreams,
the camping trip,
I didn't write all this stuff down on the camping trip,
but you said everybody else was getting listened to,
and then when it came your turn,
there was a distraction.
And so you felt like they weren't listening to you.
So this probably took root way younger,
way younger at some point.
So I would encourage you pray about that,
and then if and when, okay,
I believe the when more than the if,
when God shows you what it is,
I would encourage you to create a post about it
and let us know how that goes,
because I think God's gonna wanna help you
unpack that more.
Okay, great.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
And this is how it starts, guys,
you're not always gonna get the exact answer every time
when we're on a live session,
but you'll get maybe a piece that can lead you
to the next revelation that you need.
Let's see, Michaela, is that how you say your name?
Michelle.
Thank you.
No, Bethany, I have been struggling a little bit
with unforgiveness for sure.
It's just that recently I realized
I had an abusive relationship with my ex,
but then just recently I realized
that he had been sexually abusive with my daughters.
My daughters are older now,
but they finally came out with the truth.
And that just sent me to a place,
to a very, very dark place,
but God has been working on me so much.
But one of the verses that caught my attention,
the Bible, is the Romans 12, 19, that says,
do not take revenge, my dear friends,
but leave room for God's wrath.
For it is written, it is mine to avenge, I will repay.
But however, I just struggle with that
because at the same time,
how can I say, he's been spoken to me to forgive, right?
So if I truly forgive,
then I should not be looking forward
to see that revenge, you know?
It's almost like I want to see the revenge.
But that's where you're at, sweetie, right now.
I want you to know it's super normal, okay?
And I say that because I've walked through it.
Way back in the beginning,
when I first started really facing
the sexual abuse I had gone through,
I did want revenge, you all, I did.
And I wanted them to have to pay for what they did
because my life was messed up because of it.
But God was working in my heart.
And I remember the first time
I'd ever gotten a prophetic word,
I'd never even knew anything about it.
I went to this church and this man prophesied it for me.
And he gave me this word,
and I'm gonna kind of butcher it,
but the word was, if you'll keep it for me,
I'll pour it out on you like choice oil.
And I knew God was speaking to me about that situation.
But he gave me a choice.
He didn't say I had to, he gave me a choice.
But he told me that if I kept that for him
and let him deal with it,
that he would pour that out on my life like choice oil.
And what I do know you all is that
while all that stuff was so hard,
I can help people in ways
that I don't know if I could have.
I don't think that was God's plan for me,
but he's absolutely using it to set other people free.
I want you to know, and the reason I shared that
is because I think it's healthy for you guys to hear.
I went from the wanting revenge to God speaking to me
and ministering to me and comforting me
and giving me a promise.
He gave me a promise that night.
And I had a choice, and as I leaned into,
there's that lean word, I say lean a lot, don't I?
As I chose to align myself with the promise of heaven,
I mean, I can't tell you, and that prayer,
that word, it was recorded.
I can't tell you how many, I wore that tape out, you all,
because I needed to cling to that.
So I'm saying, Michella, that where you're at is normal
and the Lord understands,
and he's gonna meet you in every moment,
and he wants to continue to encourage you and love you,
and, ooh, I feel the Holy Spirit.
Even the father, it's like a bear with cubs,
he's protective, he is,
and it might not look always the way we think in the world,
because again, the world's ways
are way different than God's ways,
but he will handle the situation
in the way that he sees fit,
and he'll hold your heart in his hands.
The Bible talks about he'll collect every tear in a bottle,
right, and so I wanna encourage you to forgive yourself
for how you feel, and know that he understands, he does.
And he has compassion, yeah, he has compassion and grace
for you and for your daughters,
and he's gonna continue to see you through this
all the way, he's not gonna leave you
in the midst of this, okay?
Yes, thank you so much,
but I've been working in forgiving,
you know, it goes back and forth,
but it's just so important for me,
it's just because it was a conflicting kind of thing for me,
you know, like, so I should forgive,
but I'm still looking for the revenge, but I'm not.
Well, again, it's okay to,
like, that's what I'm trying to say to you guys,
is you guys, it's not like,
it's kind of like the same thing I said a couple weeks ago,
you know, God doesn't force his way into our hearts,
he stands at the door of our hearts,
and he knocks, and he asks for an invitation to come in,
Jesus Christ, the same thing,
when we accept Jesus Christ, it's an invitation,
and we invite him to come in
and change our hearts and our lives,
so even in this, it's kind of like
there's this invitation to forgiveness,
it's a process, you all, he understands the process,
it's that, here's the beautiful thing,
your heart is so tender and so beautiful,
I hope you know that,
like, there's a lot of people that would never
even wrestle with what you're wrestling with
in the way that you are,
because you don't want that to be in you,
and so even in that, there's a beauty in the wrestling
that you're going through right now,
I know it doesn't feel good,
but just know, like, God sees the beauty of the process
that you're in and your willingness to surrender your heart
and to surrender everything to him, he really does.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
We're gonna be praying for you and your daughters,
if you will, can you just put in the chat,
I'd like to be praying for your daughters by name,
that will help me a lot so that I can do that.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome, thank you for sharing,
Tiffany, go ahead.
Hi, Bethany, so how do I forgive my mother
when she continues to hurt me, like, verbally,
and it's Mother's Day coming up, right,
which is probably one of my least favorite holidays
because it's like, oh, I have to go find a card
that says, oh, you're the best mom in the world,
and it's like, I don't believe any of that,
I can't even bring myself to buy a card
that says that, and I mean,
if we're gonna fill out a piece of paper
to forgive every instance,
my stack's gonna be pretty high just for my mom,
and it's gonna continue to grow,
and part of me is like, what even is the point?
I'm gonna forgive her for this,
and then she's gonna do this, and then she's gonna do that,
and I have a lot of anger that has come up
in the last couple of weeks over her
while I'm doing this work.
heartwork, which is interesting because I got into this heartwork because of my divorce.
Okay. So my first answer to you is that we are asked to forgive 70 times seven, which
it's not just a number. It's like continual. I will tell you this. I can relate to you.
My mother passed away though, and back in May of 2022, but my mother was similar.
Um, and I want to, you know, I always try to speak very carefully,
especially now that she's gone, but always even before that. But, um, I struggled with
very similar things as far as there was constantly something being said and things like that.
So one of the things, uh, and Jackie talks about this a lot and has over the years,
one of the things she talks about is that, um, we don't need to buy a card that's fake.
We don't need to buy and have something that says, um, something that we don't believe. Um,
I'm going to screenshot her daughter's names just real quick, just cause I don't want to forget to
do that. Bear with me. Um, but what we can do is we can get a card that just says, I mean,
even if it's blank and we just say happy mother's day, I'm praying for you, or God bless you. It
can be very simple, very still honoring. Um, you know, and here, here's the thing. This is,
this is, I wrestled with this too. I kind of lost you on the screen there for a minute.
There you are. Um, because Jackie encouraged me to get my mom something for her birthday
and I wrestled with it. I did because I was like, she doesn't deserve it. I'm just being a hundred
percent honest. I didn't feel like she deserved it because something that she had just done,
that was really hurtful. And, uh, but Jackie challenged me and she said, you know, we don't
deserve love either. Ouch. Truth, right? Yes. You all, we don't deserve love either, but God
gives it to us freely unconditionally without condition without condition. And so that stirred
in my heart a lot. It was a good reminder. And I had heard it before you guys have, I mean,
I've been saved a long time, but when she said it to me that day, it hit my heart a lot differently.
Because here I was putting a condition on my mom. If you're perfect, if you do this,
then, then you are deserving of my love.
Does it, did it hurt me like crazy when she was mean to me? Absolutely. She's my mom.
I wanted her to love me. I wanted to be close to her. I wanted all these things.
I didn't have my relationship with her, but you know what? I prayed into that
and I did choose, I sent her this, um, she was in a nursing home at the time. I sent her this,
um, edible and rain arrangement. I spent more money than I originally was going to,
just because I felt led at that point. Like I need to bless her more. I need to bless her extra
because I need to break free from this cycle of, you know, the manipulation and the hurt and the
unforgiveness and the bitterness, like the cycle that we were in. And I just decided I'm breaking
free from this stuff. And so, um, I sent her that, that gift, that arrangement and, you know,
it really blessed her. She even posted on Facebook about it, which, you know, it was like a big deal
for my mom to do something like that. Here's the kicker. And then she did something mean again.
And, and there was that part of me that was like, I should have never sent that to her
because it didn't even matter, but see, that's the enemy. That was the enemy.
And so I just kept praying into it. Like, Lord, I don't, all I know is that hurt people,
hurt people. And my mom doesn't even know the depth of what she's doing. She doesn't. And her
brokenness is causing her to act in ways that are not healthy. I wasn't excusing her. I limited my,
my connection with her, but I knew God was calling me to keep loving. Love is a risk you
all it is, but it's worth it. And I'm going to, I'm going to kind of button this part up with this.
I'm so grateful that I listened to the Holy spirit and not my flesh.
I had no clue y'all that all that stuff I was just talking about
happened in, let's see, April in the beginning of May of 2022. My mom died two weeks later.
I'm not saying it's going to happen like that for anybody else.
I hope it doesn't, but ask me now if I regret it.
Not one second.
My mom at times didn't deserve by her actions in my mind and in my flesh, the love that
I was pouring back out on her.
But if I'm getting the love from the father and I'm getting filled up every day from him,
then you know what?
I'm given out of the overflow of what he's given me.
Yeah.
Otherwise it's just being selfish.
Yeah.
And so you guys, there are going to be times where it is just hard, gut wrenching, but
I can tell you since my mom passed away in the last six months, you all, I hardly ever
had my mom in my dreams.
I've had two dreams of my mom coming in my dreams and protecting me.
And I believe it is from heaven and that God is showing me my mom's true heart for me.
And so again, these concepts might blow your all's minds a little bit, but I'm telling
you, we don't always know what's working behind the scenes.
People that are broken, again, the enemy can use them to get to us and that's true.
But if I don't focus on that and I focus more on the father and what he's doing and father,
what do you want me to be doing?
Then I can just be a vessel that he works through and I don't have to allow myself to
continue to be abused by those people.
Now in my circumstance and situation, I felt like God in that time was asking me to kind
of be back around my mom more in that season.
I had taken a break from that.
You all, I did for several years.
I hardly saw her because it was just too painful and too hard.
So I gave myself time to heal and get into a better place.
And here's the other thing.
Thank you, Lord.
When I would go around my mom, I had to posture myself in a heart posture of ministry.
I had to go into that atmosphere and understand that I'm going as a minister of Christ, not
just her daughter.
Because if I went in as just her daughter, then my heart was way more vulnerable.
But if I went in as also the minister that I am, then I can hear things she's saying
and funnel it through the truth that I know as a coach.
Does that make sense?
A hundred percent.
Yes.
God is so good.
You guys, he is, if we forgive, he will pour out a blessing on us, which we cannot contain.
We can't comprehend it.
We can't conceive it.
And we cannot even imagine the glory that will be revealed.
Truly.
Yeah.
We'll pray for you.
Bless you.
You guys, Mother's Day.
Again, just as a reminder, come if you can, please come to Sunday night activation, Sunday
night.
What is that?
This Sunday?
It is.
Oh my gosh.
This Sunday night.
Come to that.
We're going to be doing some special ministry.
You don't have to be a mom to come.
It's for everyone.
We're going to minister to people in every area regarding any, anything you can think
of regarding the needs for healing regarding moms.
Maybe you are a mom.
Maybe you've been hurt by mom, all the different things come, come, come, come, please come
to that.
All right.
So I have one more hand up.
That's been waiting.
If you need to log out, I completely understand.
I try not to go over an hour and a half, but I really, I'm grateful that I gave that time
and space regarding mom wounds.
Cause I know a lot of you guys have those as well.
Michelle would love to hear what you want to share tonight.
Hello.
Hi.
All right.
So I did the forgiveness prayer and I went through the reading for that and I could understand,
you know, being hurt by someone and it's hard to forgive them because at one point when
I read in the book, it said that if you, if you're willing to forgive someone and they
were somebody that I didn't really want to forgive and I said no to myself, but then
I realized that you can ask God to forgive the person for you.
So I did that and I actually did a forgiveness prayer for that person and it really helped
to release me.
I was surprised by that.
However, on the other hand, my mother also came to mind about forgiveness as well.
And I thought that for me, that's strange because I.
I had a good relationship with my mother.
She was a very good mother to me, but I find it hard to think that I need to forgive her.
But I remember when I became a Christian, there was a memory that God brought back to me.
That when I was a child, in my country, when you're about four to six years,
they give you like a booklet with words that you have to learn.
But I was not really good at grammar and spelling.
And I remember she was teaching me at about five or six.
And for some reason, I couldn't get it.
And I think she called me stupid.
And for some reason, that memory just came back.
And an ex-pastor also told me that there were words that were spoken over me
that really affected me.
And even now, when I was waiting to talk to you, I even said to myself,
I feel stupid asking this question because my mother was a good person.
I remember even after she passed, I felt like I had to do well in school
because I had to make her proud.
To the point where it felt really heavy on me as well.
Because maybe that's where my perfection came from,
where I felt like I have to do well because of that moment.
But to me, that's the hardest part because I know that she's not that type of person
and she must have went through something very hard for her to have said that.
But I still cannot come to a point where I can write that forgiveness prayer for her.
So God will get you to that point.
I think just from what you've shared,
I think when you come to terms with the fact that your mom isn't perfect,
and I don't mean that you think like put her on this pedestal,
but sometimes even from my experience with people,
when they do have good parents,
they actually sometimes struggle more to actually face the reality
that their parent did or said something that actually did hurt them deeply.
And so it's okay to just acknowledge that your mom was a great mom,
but in that moment, she wasn't.
Because she's imperfect and every person is imperfect.
I absolutely have not done everything perfectly,
even as a role model for my spiritual daughters.
I mean, there's things all the time that I'm like,
oh Lord, help them to forgive.
And so the other thing that's coming up in my spirit,
just as I was kind of sharing that is that sometimes it's just a choice.
So I would encourage you to ask yourself,
why are you avoiding writing that prayer?
And ask the Holy Spirit to reveal, is it just you're avoiding it?
Is it that you're having a hard time acknowledging your mom who is great?
Good mom made this mistake that wounded you so deeply.
Is it that you haven't fully allowed yourself to feel the pain of that day?
As you said, four to six year old timeframe.
I mean, there's a lot of different things that could be going on there,
but ask the Lord to reveal like what's keeping you from moving forward
and praying the prayer.
Sometimes too, this might seem a little crazy,
but what can happen even is now this memory has surfaced.
And even though it's not a good memory,
it's a memory about your mom and an interaction that you all had.
And sometimes people will cling to that stuff instead of moving forward
because there's some feeling of closeness.
And again, I'm just kind of putting a couple things out there
and I'll let the Lord reveal to you what it is for you.
But I would encourage you to choose to move forward,
to choose to do that prayer,
but seek the Lord about what's keeping you from doing it.
And also aligning with the truth that you're not stupid
and that you don't have to continue to strive to make them proud,
whether for you, it's your mom,
for someone else that might be their dad or someone in their family
where you guys just really give yourselves permission to be who you are
and that you're not living up to some expectation,
not only of people that are here on earth, but people that are gone.
Okay. So I find it very interesting.
I actually thought I didn't even, I didn't even,
I forgot mother's day was this Sunday. If you guys didn't catch on,
I kind of forgot that was coming up, but,
I had a feeling we were going to do forgiveness towards dads tonight,
but mom's was definitely kind of an underlying theme.
I want to encourage you guys.
I saw several of you saying this resonated, this resonated,
you know, be really kind to yourselves this week, ladies.
Okay.
You know, spend some extra time,
whatever the thing is that's gonna make you feel comforted.
If it's taking a bath with candles,
if it's going for a walk, if it's reading,
if it's getting an extra nap, do those things.
You guys are processing a lot,
but especially during, you know,
Mother's Day can be a trigger for a lot of people
for a lot of different reasons.
If that doesn't apply to you, great, but if it is,
you know, just know that we're praying, we're here.
Yeah, Tammy, you can absolutely write about that
in the group, we wanna help you process that.
If it is, whoever you guys are having a hard time
processing, forgiving them, you know,
that's what the group is for.
That's what even these sessions that we're here coaching
through this stuff, just know that you're not alone
and God loves you and he wants to continue
to help you process those things.
Michelle, thank you for sharing, if I forgot to say that.
But you guys, it's gonna be a great week, okay?
So that's the last thing I wanna say.
I know that it can be a hard week and sometimes knowing
that a holiday like this is coming
can actually send people into like a yucky kind of funk
place, but here's what I wanna encourage you guys.
It could be that for me too, it really could be.
But God has been talking to me the last few years
about like reclaiming things.
So I wanna encourage you all this week
to reclaim Mother's Day, whatever that looks like for you.
This is one of the ways I started reclaiming things
a few years ago and it wasn't always just Mother's Day,
but it was just different things.
I love flowers, so if there was a day or a holiday
or anything that I was reclaiming,
I went and bought myself flowers
and I did something nice for myself.
So for you guys, maybe you need to buy a Mother's Day card
for yourself and write a note to yourself
and encourage yourself as a mom.
Reclaim Mother's Day.
Maybe some of you guys have broken relationships
with your kids, reclaim Mother's Day for you.
Go out with a friend.
Don't stay home alone.
Please, please, please, I encourage you.
Do not stay home alone and isolate yourself.
Go celebrate who you are.
Go buy yourself a dress.
You guys, I mean, there's so many things you can do
to celebrate who you are,
to celebrate what God has done in your life.
And again, I'm not minimizing the pain
of what you guys have gone through with moms
or dads or whoever, but God is making all things new
and you can choose to align with the new.
Is it easy?
No, but it will be worth it.
It will be worth it.
Maybe some of you, it's reclaiming a t-shirt.
Maybe some of you, it's reclaiming a town,
an area that you don't go to anymore
because somebody that hurt you before
that you actually need to forgive
and God's putting that person on your heart tonight,
you don't go to that town
or you don't go to that coffee shop
because that is where you went with that person.
Maybe some of you all need to go visit that place
and have a great cup of coffee or whatever
and say, thank you, Jesus, that I'm reclaiming this place
and those old memories don't keep me bound anymore.
I'm just throwing all kinds of ideas out there,
but we bless you.
We thank you guys for showing up,
showing up for yourself, showing up for everybody here.
I hope this is a blessing to you tonight.
I'm gonna pray and close this out.
God's doing something kind of wonderful in our grief.
I hope you feel and experience it.
Receive the joy of the Lord.
His love is wide and deep for you.
Father, thank you so much for your healing power
and virtue that flows down from heaven.
God, we thank you that you would place the balm of Gilead
upon hearts, minds, bodies, spirits, and souls.
God, that you would heal mother wounds,
that you would heal father wounds and sister wounds,
that you would heal, yes, Lord,
that you would heal identity wounds
in the core of who they are,
that you would pour confidence into them.
God, that you would help them to become more
and more confident in you every single day.
God, that you would help them to choose to forgive,
that you would give them the grace and the enablement,
the power from heaven, yes, Lord,
the same power that rose Jesus Christ from the dead
is living in them, operating in them,
and can enable them to forgive.
So Lord, I thank you that you help us all.
Even those that today might've hurt us,
thank you for helping us to forgive them,
to pray for them.
And we thank you, God, for releasing us in life.
launching us forward into the new that you have for us.
In Jesus name, amen.
God bless you.
We'll see you guys really soon.
Have a wonderful night, everyone.