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Welcome to last year single challenge day one.

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What's a challenge?

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It is an intensive.

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It's a time where you come in here and you hear a lot of amazing things that are going to shift you.

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They're going to shift your spirit.

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They're going to shift your heart.

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They're going to shift your thinking.

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They're going to completely shift you to a different place than when you started.

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So this is a supernatural opportunity.

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And so I want to encourage you don't just come to day one or day two or day three,

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come to all of them because we're going to go somewhere.

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We're going to build on something very important to not just your love life,

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but to your life in general.

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I always like to say that the man's just the cherry on top.

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God brought you here.

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It's kind of like sell them what they want and give them what they need.

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He brought you here because you have a deep desire to partner.

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And guess what?

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He wants that more for you than you even want it for yourself.

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And I'm going to prove that to you during this challenge.

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Okay.

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But then at the same time,

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there's all kinds of other breakthrough that heaven has been trying to get to your front door.

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And so you're going to receive so much even in just this three days.

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And so please don't mail it in.

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Don't fall off.

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Make sure that you show up.

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It's important.

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So this morning as I was getting ready for this challenge,

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because you guys,

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every time I deliver this challenge live,

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something different happens because it's a different set of people here.

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And God knows that.

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So via Holy Spirit,

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I'm able to kind of get into,

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um,

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get into alignment,

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get into agreement with what heaven's wanting to say to you specifically,

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right?

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This group of people,

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not the group of people before you or the group of people before them,

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but you guys.

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And so this old 80s song kept going through my mind as I was getting ready this

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morning.

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And it's just,

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it just says,

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I'm the king of wishful thinking.

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And I really heard the Lord saying that some of you are the queens of wishful

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thinking.

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You're always wishing and hoping for something that's not happening in your

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life,

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but you're not taking action.

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Okay.

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You got a lot of wishbone,

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but you don't got a lot of,

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you know,

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backbone.

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You're not going forward in those things.

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You don't have a lot of confidence that that stuff's really going to happen for

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you.

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So it's out here in daydream world all the time.

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You sit around and you want things that you don't have,

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but you don't take action to get them.

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And I really want to shift that in you.

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Um,

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in during these three,

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this three day challenge,

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I want to see you have the confidence to take action because when we really

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believe that something's going to happen,

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the proof of belief is action.

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In fact,

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one of my favorite all time quotes,

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I say it all the time.

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I should have it embroidered on a pillow or something for myself.

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It is by a man named Nelson Mandela.

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And it just says this,

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you will never prepare for what you secretly believe is not going to

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happen.

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You won't prepare,

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you won't get ready for,

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you won't take action for something while secretly believing that it's not

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possible,

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that it's not really going to happen.

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And so I want to challenge you in that in these three days,

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you know,

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all these things that you say that you want in life,

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but you're not taking action towards because we want to turn wish into

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action.

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Okay.

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We want to turn hope into action,

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right?

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That's what we want to do.

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And we're going to do that during this specific three day challenge.

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And that's not something that we necessarily do all the time.

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So I just want to invite Holy spirit.

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If you're new,

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maybe you're not a believer in Jesus.

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You're not a Christ follower.

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I will tell you,

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I am and everything that I've ever been able to get in my hot little hands

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that I've hoped for has been because of the finished work of the cross.

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And so you're going to hear a lot about that.

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You're not going to hear a lot of religion here because I don't roll like

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that.

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You are going to hear a lot of grace.

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You're going to hear a lot of mercy.

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You're going to hear a lot of faith.

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And so if you're one of those people that has been wounded by what we call

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church organized religion,

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you're still in the right place because I believe that what hurts you,

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God will also use to heal you.

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So if you've been hurt by so-called spiritual community,

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then you're also going to find healing in spiritual community.

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And I really hope that this is the beginning of that.

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That is my prayer for you.

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So I want to invite Holy spirit just to speak to me and speak through me

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right now.

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And I also want to just declare that your hearts and your minds are open to

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receive what God has for you individually.

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Why did he bring you here? And so Holy spirit,

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we just ask that every heart and mind would be open,

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that all of us come into agreement together with heaven over this time

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together.

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And that you would speak clearly to the hearts of those that have gathered in

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Jesus name. Amen. All right.

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So we're about 42, 44 months in,

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and we've had hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and

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hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of engagements and met and marriages,

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weddings in that timeframe.

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And that doesn't include the thousands of people that are in marriage minded

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courtships because of what we do here.

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And so if that's really the only reason that you've come,

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because you want to meet that masculine,

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mature and marriage minded man,

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then you are definitely in the right place. All right.

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Because this is a divine appointment for you. Right?

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So story after story, after story, after story,

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during my 28 ministry, 28 year ministry career,

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career from women that would come to me and say, Jackie,

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I don't understand why I'm single. Okay. I don't understand.

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Why is God holding out on me? Why hasn't this happened for me? You know,

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I started to wonder why there were so many people that the thing that they were

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believing for, the thing that they were contending for was their love life.

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And I started questioning God about that because I've always been the matchmaker

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in my friend group. I'm known as the matchmaker.

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I helped 15 of my friends get married and I helped countless others of my

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friends stay married.

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So I've always been the person that carries a grace for specifically marriage

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partnership.

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And it seems kind of strange that I would carry that because you're going to

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hear some of my backstory and you'd be like, Whoa, you know,

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how did you get that Jackie? Well, God doesn't call the qualified.

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He qualifies the called. Right. And I've always been available.

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I've always loved love. And so I'm your wing woman.

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I'm going to be the head cheerleader of your love story starting right now.

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And I believe that God has given me a supernatural grace to help people step

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into kingdom marriage and partnership. All right.

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So if you're new to me, welcome me. I'm Jackie D Jackie Dorman.

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And last year single is my brand. It is my program.

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It has been alive since the end of 2020. God took me aside. He said, Hey,

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I want my single sons and daughters married. He said, you have a burden for this.

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He said, you love playing matchmaker. He said, I've given you a gift for this.

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Will you take this and will you marry it with your heart healing,

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proprietary protocol, the heartwork.

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And you're going to hear about that a little bit in day two.

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And will you put those things together and help me to bring revival to marriage

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and family? And you guys, I simply gave him my yes.

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I'm definitely God's shotgun girl. If God is doing something new,

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I want to be involved,

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especially in an area where I've always loved to metal,

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right? I've always loved a metal in that.

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And so I pushed past all the objections that I had as to why it might not be a

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good idea to do this.

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And you obviously have pushed past all your objections. Why do I say that?

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Because if you came here because of an ad,

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there's no doubt that in the comments of that ad, you saw some crazy stuff.

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Well, Paul said that we should be single and blah, blah, blah, and this and that.

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And you saw all kinds of things that you had to kind of ignore.

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He had to put the blinders on and you had to push past those things,

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past those trolls, past all the objections in your own heart,

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past some of your own bad experiences with maybe online things,

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but then also just men in general and get here. And so once again,

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we're all here and I think we can expect a very supernatural time together.

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So that pandemic that we were living in, in the, in the 2020s, right?

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When we were living in that pandemic, it gave birth to a marriage boom.

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It did.

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And we've been forerunners of that revival of marriage and family for the last

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four years, almost four years. And it's just been incredible. You guys,

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over 750 plus engagements and weddings.

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And I want to tell you,

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I get engagement and wedding invitations every single

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week from my students, from my clients. It's crazy. I call it the marriage funnel.

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All right. So who is Jackie? I'm an online coach, teacher, mentor. Um,

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I used to be on the radio reaching millions of people, um,

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every single day about love, the love guru on the radio,

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350 Christian and country radio stations.

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I'm a bestselling author of several books. In fact,

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I have a new dating book coming out that is going to, um,

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I think it's gonna probably rock a few boats.

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I'm going to say some things in that book that people are not probably expecting

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and maybe have not heard before.

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And I hope to do that during this challenge for you as well to say things that

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maybe you have heard in your own heart,

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but no one's ever given you language to say that or permission to even believe

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it. And then also things that, wow, you're like, that really makes sense.

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But I've never heard anyone say that before. Um,

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I do carry that kind of revelatory gift.

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And so I'm going to use that gift for you today. And I'm also a spirit,

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make a spirit mate matchmaker. I'm a spirit mate matchmaker.

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You'll hear more the difference between spirit mates and soulmates later on in

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this challenge. And also the difference between spirit mates,

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soulmates and flesh mates. So many of us,

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we've been letting our body drive the drive, the van. Okay.

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So many of us have been letting our body make a decision in our attractions on

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who it is that we're going to choose.

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And that's not working out too well for us, is it?

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So we don't want to do that anymore and we're not gonna. All right.

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So you guys ready to get started? Let me tell you day one today,

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I'm going to talk to you about how God is playing matchmaker,

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what I've had a front row seat to see and what I've participated in helping him

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play matchmaker. Why this time is different.

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Why the time that we're living in right now is different.

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So many of you have yearned for a kingdom marriage for years,

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maybe even decades.

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Why is the era that we're living in different than 10 years ago or 20 years

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ago? Some of you guys have been in the waiting room literally that long,

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and I'm going to help you get out of that waiting room and get into the kingdom

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partnership that God has for you. I'm going to help you get your hopes back up.

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Carrying that supernatural gift of hope that I'm going to be releasing over you guys today.

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I want you to really leave here today understanding that heaven is listening,

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that you've not been forgotten, that you've not been left behind or left out,

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that heaven's been listening, and that sometimes our promises just have a time stamp on them

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because it's a certain thing that God's doing in the whole earth.

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It's not just about our life, it's about what God's doing in the lives of his children,

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just corporately, and that is what's happening right now.

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God wants you married, he wants you partnered.

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Why does he want you partnered? The desire that you have to be partnered came from him,

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and he wants to fulfill it with him, with his person, with his choice for you, right?

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God's heart for making us male and female, we're going to hear about that in just a few minutes.

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Why did God make us male and female in the first place?

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If he wasn't going to put us together.

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And talking about how the battle of the sexes started in the garden,

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and I'm going to help you get rid of any kind of guilt that you might have,

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any kind of religious idea that you might have about wanting to be partnered.

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So many people feel like they're cheating on Jesus because they want something with skin on it.

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I'm going to say that again.

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So many people feel like they're cheating on Jesus because they want something with skin on it.

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I'm going to show you why that's a ridiculous idea,

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why God created you to want something with skin on it from the very beginning,

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why he's the one that said that he's not enough for you,

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and I'm going to explain that statement for you that are like,

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whoa, whoa, whoa, God's enough.

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I understand what you're saying,

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but you're about to understand what I'm saying here in day one of the challenge.

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And you're going to see how it's biblically the truth.

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And it's going to help you come out of that guilt of wanting a person in your life

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and not just having this relationship with the invisible God.

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Right? And so I'm going to prove that to you as well,

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that you weren't created to be single.

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You weren't, there is a gift of singleness.

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And I'm going to unpack Paul's teachings today in day one too.

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And then last but not least, all the ideas of that wishful thinking,

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all of you that are dealing with, Oh yeah, I really would love to believe this is true,

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but Jackie, if it was going to happen for me, wouldn't it have already happened?

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So I'm going to help you to embrace the power of yet, right?

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It hasn't happened yet, but it is going to happen.

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And that's why you're here.

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I believe you've been drawn here, highlighted, handpicked to come here.

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There's billions of people in the world.

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And yet this small group of a couple hundred women here.

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Why? Because I believe that you're a kinsman,

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redeemer in your family line and I,

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it's going to be my joy and pleasure to help you step into that love story.

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Okay. Day two tomorrow, we're going to peek into those heart boxes.

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What's holding us back. If our problem isn't our problem,

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then where are we stuck? We're not ever stuck on the outside y'all.

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We're always stuck on the inside. Okay?

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So what lies are we believing that are keeping us, you know, in that waiting room?

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I'm going to show you why the waiting room is not a real thing and that God

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never puts us in the waiting room. In fact,

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it's not biblical to wait upon the Lord.

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And I'm going to show you why through scripture on day two and then day three,

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we're going to fully just get out of our own way, get out of God's way,

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and we're going to get ready to be the bride. So are you ready?

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Go ahead and get anything you want it to take notes.

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For those of you that are watching and replay, don't, don't,

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don't check out here. All right. All the goodness is coming.

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So make sure that you stay engaged.

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Are you ready to hear about how God is playing matchmaker?

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Why this time is different than ever before and why it's obvious that God wants

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this more than you even want it. And that's why he led you here right now.

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All right, let's do this. Okay. So you guys, everywhere that I go,

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I'm asked all kinds of questions, as you can imagine, right?

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Do lots of singles conferences, lots of singles panels.

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Some of the singles panels I do are with the top matchmakers in the world.

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People that charge 50,000 to $300,000 a person to make matches.

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Wow. That's crazy, right? Crazy.

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I I'm invited on those matchmaker panels and a lot of times I'm deferred to,

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Hey Jackie, what do you think? Why? Because I'm carrying the wisdom of heaven.

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And so a lot of times people will ask me questions that specifically have to do

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with the why behind the what. And so I want to give you a chance to guess,

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what do you think is the number one why behind the what question that people ask

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me when I'm out and about speaking places?

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What do you think the number one question,

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even the number one question that people DM my team, what do you think it is?

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The number one question that I get asked is why are so many Christians single?

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Why are so many of God's sons and daughters single? Right?

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Especially the ones that want to be married because not everyone wants to be

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married. I know that that might be amazing to you. You're like, Oh, but,

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and it's not because they have trauma. Some of them, it's the reason why,

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but for a lot of people that don't want to be married,

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they're just content where they are.

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They're in either a season of singleness or they have that proverbial gift of

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singleness. And I'm going to unpack that. Okay. At the end of today's challenge,

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I'm going to get into the teachings of Paul and Corinthians that talk about that.

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But for whatever reason, they're just not in a place where they want that, right?

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But for the people that want it,

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for the people that have been wanting it and been praying over it and been

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praying for their future husband or wife or doing all the things and jumping

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through all the hoops, so to speak, why are they single?

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That's the number one question that I get asked.

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And I'm going to cover that in today's challenge. Someone's saying,

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I don't have the gift of singleness. Yeah, you don't. And you know why?

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I know because you wouldn't be here. If you did,

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for those of you that really need proof and evidence that you don't have this

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gift that you don't want.

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And you're hoping that God's not going to give it to you because you don't want

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it. And if you do get it,

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you're going to re gift it to someone else because you really don't want it.

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I just want to let you know that you don't have it.

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The people that have that gift, they don't desire marriage and family.

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They're not white knuckling it through celibacy, abstinence. Okay.

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And singleness just hoping that God will give them the grace to make it to the

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end of their life. You know, solitarily. That's not how that works.

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The people that have the actual gift of singleness,

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they're usually in some kind of full-time ministry vocation like Paul,

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like mother Teresa, like Corrie ten Boom. We can go on and on and on. Okay.

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Even though there's not a lot of evidence of those people,

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the monks and the nuns and the priests,

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and we all know that some of those people should have gotten married and that's

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not really what they should have chosen for their vocation, right?

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Because they had a sex drive that just wouldn't quit.

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And then they started having the wrong outlets for that.

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But I'm just going to let you know right now and right here that all the evidence

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that you need,

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that God has a love story for you is that your heart aches for marriage and

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family.

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I believe that God put that desire in your heart and he wants it fulfilled.

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So the reason why you're single is something that I'm going to share at the end

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of today's teaching. Okay. Right. So everyone asking me,

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why are so many people single? And the easy answer is this y'all, the curse.

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The easy answer to why there's so many people unpartnered, single,

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not in relationship, marriage covenant is because of the curse.

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And so let me unpack that for you for a minute here.

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So all this debacle that we've been in, in fact, every ill,

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societal ill that we're dealing with all goes back to this, right? And you guys,

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it all goes back to the deterioration of marriage and family.

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Go ahead and just pick anything, pick any society issue right now in your mind,

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go ahead and pick it or go ahead and put it in the chat.

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It all goes back to the breakdown of family.

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It all goes back to fatherlessness. It all goes back to motherlessness.

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It all goes back to the breakdown of marriages.

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So you see how important and vital marriages to society. Do you see it?

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Marriage is the cornerstone of society. Okay.

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And men and women are obviously the cornerstone of marriage guys.

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It's so important.

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And the reason why we have so much trouble going on in the earth right now is

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because of the breakdown of marriage and family.

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God wants to restore it and he wants to restore it through you.

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I got goosebumps right now.

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You guys got to get a hold of the idea that you're being called as missionaries

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to marriage and family is dying. You guys is dying.

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I'm going to give you some statistics today. They're going to blow your mind.

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God is looking for people that are willing to lay down their selfish desires and

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sign up for kingdom marriage and family.

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And we're going to talk more about what that looks like.

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So let's talk about the curse. Talk about Adam and Eve screwing up,

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being disobedient in the garden, that what they did,

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the disobedience that happened there in the book of Genesis,

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if you don't know this story, um,

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is we got separated from a lot of things and not just separated from God.

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A lot of people focus on that. Oh, we were separated from God. Yeah, we were,

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but we were also separated from ourselves, our identities. Okay.

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We've been lost and confused about what our identities are.

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You see a whole generation that's completely confused about identity.

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That's part of the curse. So we're separated from God.

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We're separated from ourselves, the masculine divinely,

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the divine feminine, just from who we are as children of God.

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And then the third separation was we were separated from each other,

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men and women separated from each other because of the curse,

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separated from God, separated from self and separated from each other.

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So the sin curse didn't just separate us from God.

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It separated us from all of these things that are vital to what God created his

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family for in the first place.

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So also you've been separated from original design.

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I want you to write that down. The OGU, the garden you,

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you've been separated from that by the curse,

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the divine design that God created all of us for guys.

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There's, there's divine design. There's original design.

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We're going to go into that here at the beginning. All right.

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So let's revisit divine design.

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Let's revisit God's master plan when he was putting everything in motion.

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So we have the seven days of creation guys know all about that made the sun and

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the moon and the earth.

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and the firmaments. I remember as a kid I was like, what's a firmament? I went to my grandma's

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church. I didn't meet Jesus until I was in my 20s, but I visited my grandma one summer. She took me

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to church and I heard about the firmaments and I was like, what the heck is that? So he made all

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the beautiful creation that we stand in awe of. We stand in front of the mountains and the ocean

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and we're like, whoa, this is incredible, right? But when we get down to the sixth day, we see

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God's full purpose in all of it. It was to make a family. You guys, all God ever wanted

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was a family. Write that down. If you're taking notes, all God ever wanted was a family.

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All of this in the end is only going to be about family. It's only going to be about love.

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You were made by love, for love, to love. That is what you were created for. And all God ever

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wanted was a family. I don't care what else you do. You can have a big, beautiful career.

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You can make a lot of money. You can have a lot of things. You can go on a lot of trips,

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but it's not about those things. It's about who did you do those things for? And who did

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you do those things with? Your entire life is always going to be about relationship

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and people and family, all of it, always. So he shapes the first family member out of the dust.

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He breathed a breath of life into him. I want you to see how intentional God is right there

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with his family. Everything else, the mountain, the sea, the beautiful, majestic seven wonders

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of the world. God spoke those things into existence, but he was so intentional with his

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family. He molded and shaped Adam from the dust of the earth. He breathed his own breath into him.

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Same with Eve. When it was her turn, he took a rib from Adam and he shaped and molded it into

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her divine feminine design, right? That's what happened. And the same intention that he took

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with those first two family members, the word of God tells us that he takes with you. He knits all

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of us together in our mother's womb. Maybe you would have been preferred to be knit together in

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a different woman's womb because you got some mommy and daddy issues. And I want to address

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those things. I would love to get you to a place of healing in those areas. But the word says that

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he knit you together. You've been fearfully and wonderfully made just like the first family

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members. And so Adam, and that's not all. He also planted a garden for Adam. Okay? He didn't speak

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a garden into existence. He planted it. I want you to really get into agreement with the intentionality

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that God has with his kids. All right. With what he has for us and the same intention that he took

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there, he wants to have in your life. God is emotionally involved with you. I don't care what

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religion has said. It doesn't matter what past experiences with all kinds of legalism or all

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kinds of disappointment has brought into your life. God is intentionally involved with you.

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And that's part of the reason why you're here. Heaven's been listening to the cries of your heart

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and so now we're here, right? All right. So what did he do next? He brought his animal friends.

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He brought Adam, all the animal friends for all of you that love your fur babies. He brought all

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the animal friends around Adam and he watched Adam. What is this son going to do? How is he going to

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take care of and steward creation? What's going to happen? And as he was watching him on the sixth day,

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the divine community of heaven, y'all father, son, and Holy spirit, the divine community of heaven

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said, you know, we may, we want to make, we want to make him in our image man in our image, right?

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But something's missing. And for the first time in six days of creation, God said, this is not

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good. After every day of creation, he said, this is good. This is good. This is good. And the Hebrew

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word for good is finished. It's finished. It's complete. But on the sixth day, this is not

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complete. This is not finished. There's something missing. And the Holy community of heaven decided

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that what was missing is that Adam could not exist solitarily. He couldn't be alone, not alone.

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The way we think y'all and so much is lost in translation from the Hebrew to the English.

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He's not alone. He has relationship with the Holy family of heaven. Like none of us have ever

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experienced. God walked with him and talked with him in the garden. You guys, he wasn't lonely.

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He was solitary. He needed a helper. He needed his own kind in order for God's family to exist

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and be in the image of the Holy family of heaven that are three in one, right? The Holy family of

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heaven, we had to exist in community as well, not just solitarily. And so the feminine was removed

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from the masculine given its own vessel. And now the two can come back together in community and

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be one. This was God's idea. Y'all let's make man in our image, male and female. Will we make them

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for what reason for them to come together as one? All right. And then of course we see the third,

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we see the third being added with family, with children. So man, woman, children, right? That's

458
00:24:47.520 --> 00:24:52.800
what we see. So it's not good for me to be alone. We didn't miss anything. He wasn't alone. He wasn't

459
00:24:52.800 --> 00:24:58.560
in the garden alone. He had communion with the community of heaven. So the word alone there

460
00:24:58.560 --> 00:24:59.760
means solitary or.

461
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.240
singular. That's what it means.

462
00:25:02.840 --> 00:25:05.480
And so God was saying,

463
00:25:05.480 --> 00:25:10.480
it's not good for our family to exist without being with their own kind,

464
00:25:12.520 --> 00:25:14.840
being with their own kind. Right?

465
00:25:14.960 --> 00:25:18.760
So this debunks all of those religious voices that you hear in church and at

466
00:25:18.760 --> 00:25:21.360
conferences that say that God should be enough for you.

467
00:25:21.560 --> 00:25:24.920
God should be enough for you. From the very beginning, God said, no,

468
00:25:24.920 --> 00:25:27.880
I'm not enough for you. You need your own kind.

469
00:25:28.880 --> 00:25:32.000
And for all the people that are like, okay, well that's old Testament, Jackie,

470
00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:33.160
but it's new Testament. Now,

471
00:25:33.160 --> 00:25:36.960
Holy Spirit has come and he's our helper. He's our help me. Y'all,

472
00:25:36.960 --> 00:25:40.320
that's not biblical at all because Holy Spirit was in this mix.

473
00:25:40.320 --> 00:25:45.320
Holy Spirit was in the conference that decided that man needed his own kind.

474
00:25:46.560 --> 00:25:49.640
Holy Spirit was in that conference. He was on that conference call.

475
00:25:49.720 --> 00:25:54.720
Father, son, and Holy Spirit said, we want to make man in our image.

476
00:25:55.600 --> 00:25:59.040
All right. Male and female. Do we want to make them? Come on y'all.

477
00:25:59.560 --> 00:26:03.600
A lot of times we make up theology to try to explain away our pain.

478
00:26:03.800 --> 00:26:07.120
And I understand how that sounds good. Okay, well now we have Holy Spirit.

479
00:26:07.400 --> 00:26:10.040
We have our helper. We have our comforter. Yeah.

480
00:26:10.080 --> 00:26:13.160
We have it for what reason to finish the great commission.

481
00:26:13.280 --> 00:26:15.520
Holy Spirit is the God agent on the earth right now,

482
00:26:15.520 --> 00:26:17.840
but Jesus ascended to heaven, right?

483
00:26:17.840 --> 00:26:22.840
To prepare a place for us and he sent a helper to help us finish what to finish

484
00:26:23.680 --> 00:26:25.880
what he started on earth as his disciples.

485
00:26:26.160 --> 00:26:28.880
That's what we're here to finish with the help of Holy Spirit.

486
00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:32.400
So God wanted a family. He wanted you to have community.

487
00:26:32.720 --> 00:26:36.680
He exists in community. He wants you to have community of your own kind.

488
00:26:36.840 --> 00:26:41.320
Psalm 68, 6, tell us that God places the solitary in community.

489
00:26:41.880 --> 00:26:45.640
God takes the solitary and places them in family. That's what it says.

490
00:26:45.840 --> 00:26:48.640
So we were never meant, if you're taking notes, put it down.

491
00:26:48.800 --> 00:26:50.960
We were never meant to be alive and alone.

492
00:26:50.960 --> 00:26:55.160
We were never meant to be alive and alone. We're not. All right.

493
00:26:55.800 --> 00:26:59.560
So God says this man needs a co-laborer, a suitable partner,

494
00:26:59.560 --> 00:27:02.240
a helper that is like him,

495
00:27:02.640 --> 00:27:07.000
meaning made from the dust of the earth. And remember this is before the curse,

496
00:27:07.480 --> 00:27:11.560
like him made in our image, but like him, he needs that helper.

497
00:27:11.640 --> 00:27:16.360
He needs his own kind. So he removes the feminine from the Adam, from Adam.

498
00:27:16.600 --> 00:27:19.880
And you guys are so much typology of where, you know,

499
00:27:19.880 --> 00:27:25.120
Eve has been removed from, right? The rib, which signifies partnership, right?

500
00:27:25.160 --> 00:27:28.160
That's equality right there. That's partnership. It also,

501
00:27:28.160 --> 00:27:33.360
underneath the arm, it signifies covering the masculine.

502
00:27:33.360 --> 00:27:37.240
It has been created, the divine masculine to be a protector, to be a covering,

503
00:27:37.760 --> 00:27:41.120
um, significance, the heart of God, emotional IQ.

504
00:27:41.120 --> 00:27:43.680
There's so many different things that that signifies.

505
00:27:43.680 --> 00:27:48.080
So he takes this beautiful feminine spirit because God is a spirit and we've

506
00:27:48.120 --> 00:27:51.760
God is a spirit and we've been created in his image. We are spirit.

507
00:27:51.880 --> 00:27:54.400
That thing you see in the mirror, that's not you, right?

508
00:27:54.400 --> 00:27:59.400
You're a spirit that lives in a body, a feminine body that possesses a soul.

509
00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:02.960
But I'm telling you something right now, in case no one's ever told you this,

510
00:28:02.960 --> 00:28:07.600
your spirit is also feminine. Okay. You are the feminine of God.

511
00:28:07.760 --> 00:28:10.880
You were chosen to be the feminine of God. You are the feminine of God.

512
00:28:11.040 --> 00:28:13.120
Your body is not what makes you feminine.

513
00:28:13.640 --> 00:28:15.320
It's your spirit that makes you feminine.

514
00:28:15.520 --> 00:28:18.720
So all of the people that are out here trying to change their bodies so that

515
00:28:18.720 --> 00:28:22.800
they can be something that they weren't born to be right.

516
00:28:22.800 --> 00:28:27.120
They're trying to do something that cannot be done. Your spirit is feminine.

517
00:28:27.120 --> 00:28:30.960
God is both masculine and feminine. He is both mother and father. All right.

518
00:28:31.000 --> 00:28:32.840
And what has happened is,

519
00:28:32.840 --> 00:28:37.040
is he's created a family that shows the fullness of God,

520
00:28:37.920 --> 00:28:41.200
man and woman, right. In separate vessels.

521
00:28:41.200 --> 00:28:44.840
And so you are going to be the feminine of God throughout eternity.

522
00:28:44.880 --> 00:28:47.240
And so it's time to make peace with what that looks like.

523
00:28:47.520 --> 00:28:51.320
A lot of us have a lot of really kooky ideas of what the feminine looks like

524
00:28:51.320 --> 00:28:54.720
because of culture, because of our family history, because of abuse,

525
00:28:54.720 --> 00:28:56.320
because of all different types of things.

526
00:28:56.560 --> 00:29:00.080
And I don't have time to unpack all of the divine feminine during this

527
00:29:00.080 --> 00:29:00.760
challenge,

528
00:29:00.760 --> 00:29:05.120
but it's very freeing for you to understand that being a femme being feminine is

529
00:29:05.120 --> 00:29:07.880
amazing. It's incredible to be the feminine of God.

530
00:29:08.040 --> 00:29:10.320
And I want you to be able to make peace with that.

531
00:29:10.480 --> 00:29:14.320
If you've been at war with your own design. Okay. All right.

532
00:29:14.320 --> 00:29:18.280
So he takes this feminine spirit and he makes it into its own form and own

533
00:29:18.280 --> 00:29:22.840
design, taking that same intentionality as he did with Adam. Ah,

534
00:29:22.880 --> 00:29:26.760
beautiful. And then the great reveal happens. This is dun, dun, dun, dun.

535
00:29:26.880 --> 00:29:31.320
This is where they meet, right? He, it's like, remember the Pac-Man game?

536
00:29:31.520 --> 00:29:34.280
I'm probably dating myself right now, but I was, you know,

537
00:29:34.320 --> 00:29:37.840
a kid in the eighties and a teenager in the nineties and Mrs.

538
00:29:37.840 --> 00:29:40.320
Pac-Man specifically on the third screen.

539
00:29:40.480 --> 00:29:43.080
That's what her and Pac-Man meet. And it's just like,

540
00:29:43.200 --> 00:29:47.600
this is what's about to happen. Adam has been solitary in the garden.

541
00:29:47.600 --> 00:29:49.160
He's been stewarding creation.

542
00:29:49.160 --> 00:29:52.760
And then all of a sudden he's going to get a helper that's like him.

543
00:29:53.320 --> 00:29:57.920
And out of all the beauty that you can imagine that that garden had, right?

544
00:29:58.080 --> 00:29:59.680
He's like, Whoa.

545
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.000
This beautiful Genesis 2.22, 2.23 moment when God presents Eve to Adam and he's like,

546
00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:13.000
Ooh, man, woman, right? He was so excited to see her, wasn't he? He was.

547
00:30:13.000 --> 00:30:17.000
He was like, finally, finally, what I've been waiting for.

548
00:30:17.000 --> 00:30:21.000
And then he goes into this big speech, bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.

549
00:30:21.000 --> 00:30:24.000
What was happening here, you guys? He was recognizing her.

550
00:30:24.000 --> 00:30:28.000
And Proverbs tells us that your spirit mate's going to do the same thing.

551
00:30:28.000 --> 00:30:33.000
When a man sees, discovers, knows that a woman is his wife.

552
00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:37.000
When he finds a wife, that word find means that, sees, discovers.

553
00:30:37.000 --> 00:30:39.000
This is not a regular woman. This is my wife.

554
00:30:39.000 --> 00:30:45.000
It's because he understands that he's obtained favor from the Lord to get his good thing.

555
00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:49.000
Remember when God said in Genesis, it's not good for a man to be alone.

556
00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:52.000
He's going to get his good thing.

557
00:30:52.000 --> 00:30:57.000
In Proverbs, man is going to, your man is going to go through that same process of Adam.

558
00:30:57.000 --> 00:31:01.000
Like, woo, bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.

559
00:31:01.000 --> 00:31:05.000
You are the thing that's been missing all my life. And here you are.

560
00:31:05.000 --> 00:31:09.000
Y'all, I know that the world and psychology culture wants to tell us that that's codependency.

561
00:31:09.000 --> 00:31:12.000
No, y'all, that's original design. That's original design.

562
00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:14.000
We are better together. That's original design.

563
00:31:14.000 --> 00:31:18.000
Let go of all this psycho babble stuff. Let go of all these things.

564
00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:20.000
Part of this is what's keeping us single.

565
00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:23.000
Oh, we want each other, but we don't need each other.

566
00:31:23.000 --> 00:31:25.000
That's not true. Go back to original design.

567
00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:30.000
God said, man needs a helper.

568
00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:34.000
What? He doesn't say he wants one. He needs one.

569
00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:37.000
He needs one. And guess what? You need to be that helpmate.

570
00:31:37.000 --> 00:31:40.000
And that doesn't make you a subservient person.

571
00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:45.000
It doesn't make you someone who's submitted and walked on and someone who's taken advantage of

572
00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:47.000
and someone who's just an accessory to a man's life.

573
00:31:47.000 --> 00:31:49.000
That's all religion, y'all.

574
00:31:49.000 --> 00:31:52.000
Remember, we're co-equals in Christ.

575
00:31:52.000 --> 00:31:56.000
We have very different assignments, but when we come together, we can do amazing things.

576
00:31:56.000 --> 00:31:58.000
Amazing things.

577
00:31:58.000 --> 00:32:02.000
And so being the feminine of God does not look like what culture and society,

578
00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:05.000
and especially religion, has told you that it looks like.

579
00:32:05.000 --> 00:32:08.000
All right, so get this big speech, bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.

580
00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:11.000
Basically, how you doing? That's what was going on there.

581
00:32:11.000 --> 00:32:13.000
He recognized her as part of himself.

582
00:32:13.000 --> 00:32:18.000
She shall be called woman. And when I hear woman, I always think of the womb of God, right?

583
00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:22.000
Of mankind, a co-creator, a birther, a mother.

584
00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:27.000
And for those of you that have not birthed natural children, that's not what that means.

585
00:32:27.000 --> 00:32:32.000
It means that you have a spiritual womb as a woman that can really manifest things

586
00:32:32.000 --> 00:32:35.000
from heaven into the earth like nobody's business.

587
00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:36.000
You are carrying that.

588
00:32:36.000 --> 00:32:43.000
And I believe we're all carrying the nurturing gifts to be able to help other people grow into their best selves.

589
00:32:43.000 --> 00:32:46.000
Right? That mothering, nurturing thing.

590
00:32:46.000 --> 00:32:49.000
A lot of you have been really sad because you don't have natural children.

591
00:32:49.000 --> 00:32:53.000
But I just want to let you know, if you want natural children, this can be part of the promise.

592
00:32:53.000 --> 00:32:56.000
You can have them. All right?

593
00:32:56.000 --> 00:32:59.000
You can have them. And when I say natural, I don't mean necessarily biological.

594
00:32:59.000 --> 00:33:01.000
I shouldn't even use the word natural.

595
00:33:01.000 --> 00:33:03.000
If you want to be a mother, you can be a mother.

596
00:33:03.000 --> 00:33:05.000
The ship has not sailed on that.

597
00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:11.000
So then the narrator, the author of Genesis, Moses, chimes in in Genesis 2.24 and says,

598
00:33:11.000 --> 00:33:13.000
For this reason, what reason?

599
00:33:13.000 --> 00:33:14.000
That we're better together.

600
00:33:14.000 --> 00:33:15.000
That we've been created for each other.

601
00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:20.000
For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be reunited or united to his wife,

602
00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:22.000
and the two will become one flesh.

603
00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:23.000
For what reason?

604
00:33:23.000 --> 00:33:25.000
Because this is God's plan.

605
00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:27.000
But what happens? What do you mean his mother and father?

606
00:33:27.000 --> 00:33:29.000
Adam and Eve are the only one in the garden.

607
00:33:29.000 --> 00:33:32.000
He was foreshadowing a separation that was coming.

608
00:33:32.000 --> 00:33:36.000
That's why he's saying they shall be brought back together and the two shall be one.

609
00:33:36.000 --> 00:33:40.000
Because there's a separation coming, and that separation was the curse.

610
00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:45.000
That sin, that disobedience that separated us from God, ourselves, and each other,

611
00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:49.000
separated us from the idea that each other were gifts,

612
00:33:49.000 --> 00:33:51.000
started that battle of the sexes in the garden.

613
00:33:51.000 --> 00:33:53.000
You see it right after they disobeyed.

614
00:33:53.000 --> 00:33:56.000
God had a little meeting with Adam and Eve, and he said,

615
00:33:56.000 --> 00:34:01.000
Because you've done this, man, you're going to want to dominate and rule over, conquer and possess,

616
00:34:01.000 --> 00:34:04.000
use and abuse instead of protect and cover a woman.

617
00:34:04.000 --> 00:34:08.000
And woman, you're going to want to control as well, but through the dark arts, right?

618
00:34:08.000 --> 00:34:12.000
The dark feminine, through manipulation, control, seduction, deception.

619
00:34:12.000 --> 00:34:15.000
Women are not usually as brawny and as strong as men,

620
00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:20.000
so we don't control men through brute force the way a lot of times men control women.

621
00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:25.000
We control men through seduction and deception and manipulation.

622
00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:28.000
That's in the cursed masculine and feminine.

623
00:34:28.000 --> 00:34:31.000
But no matter how much we hurt each other in these cursed identities,

624
00:34:31.000 --> 00:34:33.000
you see that we're continually drawn to each other.

625
00:34:33.000 --> 00:34:36.000
Why? Because we're created for each other.

626
00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:39.000
Love-hate things going on in a lot of people's love lives.

627
00:34:39.000 --> 00:34:44.000
You feel like you're sleeping with the enemy because of that battle of the sexes that started in the garden.

628
00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:48.000
You want each other, you're drawn to each other, but you don't trust each other.

629
00:34:48.000 --> 00:34:50.000
And we have to end that. That has to end here.

630
00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:54.000
I just want to let you know that you cannot have relationship with anyone,

631
00:34:54.000 --> 00:34:57.000
anyone outside the finished work of the cross.

632
00:34:57.000 --> 00:35:00.000
You cannot have a good relationship with anyone outside.

633
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.880
healthy connection outside the reconciliation of the cross, right?

634
00:35:04.880 --> 00:35:08.640
So here we are, these opposites that attract, but we can't cohabitate in the

635
00:35:08.640 --> 00:35:13.480
curse. We don't get along in the curse. We don't. So the sin curse brought us the

636
00:35:13.480 --> 00:35:18.920
D-I-S, the dis. Disconnection, distrust, disease, dis-ease,

637
00:35:18.920 --> 00:35:23.400
disappointment, dishonor, disgust, disinheritance, distraction, disruption.

638
00:35:23.800 --> 00:35:24.880
That's what it brought us.

639
00:35:25.120 --> 00:35:29.600
The cross brought the ministry of reconciliation or the ministry of re,

640
00:35:29.720 --> 00:35:34.800
R-E. Reconciliation, restoration, regeneration, repentance,

641
00:35:34.800 --> 00:35:38.280
reunion, revival, relationship.

642
00:35:38.480 --> 00:35:42.760
So the curse separated, but the cross reunited. Woo!

643
00:35:43.160 --> 00:35:46.720
So that ministry of reconciliation is first foremost us to God,

644
00:35:46.720 --> 00:35:50.640
to our identities in Christ, right? We're whole in Christ,

645
00:35:50.880 --> 00:35:54.400
but then us to ourselves, right?

646
00:35:54.440 --> 00:35:57.080
The divine masculine and feminine, better together.

647
00:35:57.080 --> 00:36:00.800
So complete in marriage and then us to each other,

648
00:36:01.400 --> 00:36:05.760
everyone, not just your spirit mate. So we're healed in family, whole in Christ,

649
00:36:05.840 --> 00:36:09.000
completed an assignment in marriage and healed in family.

650
00:36:09.320 --> 00:36:13.320
So you can't have truly intimate and healthy relationships with anyone outside

651
00:36:13.320 --> 00:36:16.400
of the reconciliation that Jesus came to bring us.

652
00:36:16.640 --> 00:36:18.040
But we do keep trying though, don't we?

653
00:36:18.880 --> 00:36:20.440
We keep lathering repeating,

654
00:36:20.600 --> 00:36:24.120
trying to have relationship with people and it not ending well.

655
00:36:26.000 --> 00:36:29.200
All right. We are better together,

656
00:36:29.200 --> 00:36:30.640
but a lot of people don't believe that.

657
00:36:30.640 --> 00:36:32.440
And you might be one of those people because of what?

658
00:36:32.440 --> 00:36:34.360
Because of your experience,

659
00:36:34.520 --> 00:36:38.840
your experience has not shown you that you are better with a man. In fact,

660
00:36:38.840 --> 00:36:43.240
a lot of you have a lot of horror stories of what has happened in your past.

661
00:36:43.240 --> 00:36:46.360
And that's because you've been trying outside the reconciliation of Christ.

662
00:36:46.560 --> 00:36:49.560
You've been getting with people that are not truly Christ followers, right?

663
00:36:49.600 --> 00:36:51.520
You've been making contracts with people.

664
00:36:51.520 --> 00:36:53.720
That's what those marriages were that ended and failed.

665
00:36:53.720 --> 00:36:54.440
They weren't covenants.

666
00:36:54.440 --> 00:36:57.640
They were contracts and they were built on deceit and manipulation.

667
00:36:57.880 --> 00:37:00.880
They were built on control. They were built on everything,

668
00:37:00.920 --> 00:37:03.760
lust things that were not loved. Those are flesh mates.

669
00:37:03.760 --> 00:37:06.680
Those are not spirit mates. And that's why this has happened.

670
00:37:06.680 --> 00:37:10.280
And a lot of people have just given up on marriage and love and family.

671
00:37:10.440 --> 00:37:15.200
This is why we're seeing this drought of marriage and family in the earth

672
00:37:15.200 --> 00:37:19.960
because people have either had their own horrible experiences or they've heard

673
00:37:19.960 --> 00:37:23.360
too many horrible experiences from other people, including their family,

674
00:37:23.560 --> 00:37:27.760
their moms, their grandmas, their great grandmas. And they're like, okay,

675
00:37:27.800 --> 00:37:30.080
I'm going to pass on that. I'm going to pass on that.

676
00:37:30.120 --> 00:37:31.720
I'm going to go ahead and dodge that bullet.

677
00:37:31.960 --> 00:37:35.440
So as we watch people out there trying to connect with broken hearts and bad

678
00:37:35.440 --> 00:37:37.400
information, it's like the hunger games out there.

679
00:37:37.400 --> 00:37:40.640
And we're not going to volunteer as tribute. We're not, we're like, I'm out.

680
00:37:40.960 --> 00:37:44.120
I'm not going to be part of that. Right. And remember, I told you,

681
00:37:44.120 --> 00:37:45.080
that's my story,

682
00:37:45.120 --> 00:37:49.120
which is why it's so funny that God has chosen me to be a forerunner in the

683
00:37:49.120 --> 00:37:50.560
revival of marriage and family.

684
00:37:50.840 --> 00:37:54.240
Because my mom was married three times before I was 10 years old,

685
00:37:54.400 --> 00:37:57.480
all two abusive men, three times before I was even 10.

686
00:37:57.760 --> 00:37:59.320
By the time I was 14 years old,

687
00:37:59.320 --> 00:38:03.720
I lived in a girl's home and then went on to live the rest of my teenage years in

688
00:38:03.720 --> 00:38:07.440
foster care situations, ran off with a guy at 17,

689
00:38:07.480 --> 00:38:09.400
got married to another guy at 20 years old.

690
00:38:09.520 --> 00:38:14.080
I took all that bad information all of my life about what this area of people's

691
00:38:14.080 --> 00:38:18.960
lives look like. And I applied it to a marriage at 20 years old.

692
00:38:20.440 --> 00:38:24.680
Until I, until I met Jesus at 22, two years into that broken marriage,

693
00:38:24.720 --> 00:38:27.160
I was already separated, getting divorced. I met Jesus.

694
00:38:27.200 --> 00:38:30.120
I had a radical, beautiful love conversion. It was incredible.

695
00:38:30.320 --> 00:38:32.600
I haven't turned back since. All right.

696
00:38:32.640 --> 00:38:36.680
But what happened there was I realized that there was more than just broken

697
00:38:36.680 --> 00:38:38.440
hearts. Before that, I didn't know.

698
00:38:38.920 --> 00:38:42.240
The only thing that I was used to and had ever seen in my entire life was broken

699
00:38:42.520 --> 00:38:45.680
people, broken promises and broken hearts. And so of course,

700
00:38:46.560 --> 00:38:49.440
it wasn't that I didn't see the red flags with the guy that I married at 20

701
00:38:49.440 --> 00:38:52.280
years old. I liked red flags. I was attracted to red flags.

702
00:38:52.280 --> 00:38:56.480
Red flags were exciting for me. You know, I love the smooth talking men,

703
00:38:56.480 --> 00:38:58.320
you know, love bomb me. Tell me I'm beautiful.

704
00:38:58.320 --> 00:39:01.760
Tell me I'm amazing and wonderful because I'd been so verbally abused as a

705
00:39:01.760 --> 00:39:05.880
child. I'd experienced every kind of abuse possible, sexual, physical,

706
00:39:06.040 --> 00:39:09.720
a mental, emotional, spiritual, every in every which way.

707
00:39:10.080 --> 00:39:13.600
And so all I was really used to was abuse.

708
00:39:13.640 --> 00:39:16.520
And so of course I'm going to keep signing up for that. I'm going to keep,

709
00:39:16.720 --> 00:39:20.040
you know, renewing that, resubscribing to that.

710
00:39:20.080 --> 00:39:21.880
And a lot of you have been doing that as well.

711
00:39:22.320 --> 00:39:25.360
So I got married at 20 years old with all that inherited trauma.

712
00:39:25.640 --> 00:39:29.800
And I raced down that altar past more red flags than did 10 to 500 because I was

713
00:39:29.800 --> 00:39:34.920
like, woo, it's a circus. Let's go. And what do you think happened?

714
00:39:35.200 --> 00:39:36.720
Chaos, confusion,

715
00:39:37.000 --> 00:39:40.560
that God shaped hole that I had that I was trying to shove a man in because all

716
00:39:40.560 --> 00:39:42.920
the women that had all the women that had come before me,

717
00:39:43.040 --> 00:39:46.600
that's all I'd ever seen them do. Lather, rinse, repeat, man after man,

718
00:39:46.600 --> 00:39:51.240
after man, after man. So I was beginning my experience with this.

719
00:39:51.280 --> 00:39:55.000
And I probably would have been married several more times had I not met Jesus

720
00:39:55.000 --> 00:39:58.400
when I was 22 years old. And I realized then that it was a God shaped hole.

721
00:39:58.800 --> 00:40:00.000
And I also realized that I was

722
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.280
It's in a whole world of trouble being in this marriage, right?

723
00:40:03.640 --> 00:40:07.520
And so I met Jesus and I think that we do people a disservice when we say, Oh,

724
00:40:07.520 --> 00:40:10.880
well you met Jesus. Everything's better now. But it wasn't.

725
00:40:11.160 --> 00:40:14.840
And oftentimes it's not. And it got worse and worse. My marriage did.

726
00:40:14.840 --> 00:40:16.800
It got worse and worse and worse.

727
00:40:16.800 --> 00:40:20.280
But I held on because now I have all these religious voices around me.

728
00:40:20.300 --> 00:40:23.040
People that are trying to disciple me because I met Jesus saying, Hey,

729
00:40:23.040 --> 00:40:25.880
you can't get divorced. Got to stay divorced. You got to stick in there.

730
00:40:25.880 --> 00:40:28.480
You got to trust God. You got to do this. You got to do that. You know,

731
00:40:28.480 --> 00:40:30.520
you got to make yourself prettier. You got to, you know,

732
00:40:30.520 --> 00:40:33.600
create an environment in your home. You know, you got to submit more.

733
00:40:33.600 --> 00:40:36.200
You got to have more sex with him. You got to do this and that. Y'all,

734
00:40:36.200 --> 00:40:40.480
none of that stopped the emotional, mental, and verbal abuse of that situation.

735
00:40:40.720 --> 00:40:44.120
What I had done is I had chosen the same thing that I was used to in childhood,

736
00:40:44.280 --> 00:40:46.160
except now it had a religious twist on it,

737
00:40:46.160 --> 00:40:49.000
which made it even worse because now it feels like you're being abused by God,

738
00:40:49.520 --> 00:40:49.920
right?

739
00:40:49.920 --> 00:40:53.640
Because you're being abused by scriptures and the wrong interpretation of

740
00:40:53.640 --> 00:40:57.960
scriptures. But y'all, I held in there for 12 years. I was going to, you know,

741
00:40:57.960 --> 00:41:01.080
I was going to, I was going to not get divorced or I was going to die trying.

742
00:41:01.080 --> 00:41:01.960
And that almost happened.

743
00:41:01.960 --> 00:41:06.680
I almost lost my life several times during that marriage.

744
00:41:06.880 --> 00:41:11.280
And finally, because my motto was, I'm going to say, if it kills me, God's like,

745
00:41:11.280 --> 00:41:14.800
no, you're not. After 12 years, I had no choice.

746
00:41:15.040 --> 00:41:18.360
It was a rescue mission. And so many of your divorces, that's what they were.

747
00:41:18.360 --> 00:41:19.600
They were rescue missions.

748
00:41:19.600 --> 00:41:22.680
And I want you to go ahead and just let all the guilt and condemnation fall off

749
00:41:22.680 --> 00:41:24.600
of you right now.

750
00:41:24.840 --> 00:41:28.080
It was a rescue mission because you know what God hates more than divorce.

751
00:41:28.160 --> 00:41:31.160
He hates the reasons for divorce. In fact, that's what the scripture means.

752
00:41:31.160 --> 00:41:34.000
God hates divorce. No, God hates abuse.

753
00:41:34.560 --> 00:41:39.480
God hates lies and deception. God hates infidelity. God hates promise breakers.

754
00:41:39.480 --> 00:41:42.840
God hates, you know, the reasons why people get divorced.

755
00:41:43.240 --> 00:41:45.400
He doesn't hate divorce or divorce people.

756
00:41:45.440 --> 00:41:49.920
He hates the reasons why divorce becomes necessary. God loves you,

757
00:41:49.920 --> 00:41:52.640
his daughter more than he loves his rules.

758
00:41:52.920 --> 00:41:55.520
And so it's important that you understand that. Okay.

759
00:41:56.400 --> 00:41:59.480
So it's time for us to start laying in the bed that Jesus made at the finished

760
00:41:59.480 --> 00:42:03.640
work of the cross and stop laying in the bed that our bad decisions made, right?

761
00:42:03.640 --> 00:42:05.880
We don't want to lay in those beds anymore and we want to come out of

762
00:42:05.880 --> 00:42:08.680
condemnation. So I surrendered the pen to God after that.

763
00:42:08.720 --> 00:42:10.880
I never expected to be remarried. In fact,

764
00:42:10.880 --> 00:42:14.040
a lot of people told me I wasn't even allowed to be remarried because I got

765
00:42:14.040 --> 00:42:17.920
divorced. There's a lot of, you know, religious mumbo jumbo out there.

766
00:42:17.920 --> 00:42:21.040
That's using scripture and twisting it and making it mean things that doesn't

767
00:42:21.040 --> 00:42:25.520
mean, by the way, I have amazing teachers on teaching in my program on divorce

768
00:42:25.520 --> 00:42:28.040
and remarriage that will set you free from all of that.

769
00:42:28.360 --> 00:42:30.520
And before the ink was even dry on those divorce papers,

770
00:42:30.520 --> 00:42:33.360
I walked out of my front yard and I met the man who's now my husband.

771
00:42:33.480 --> 00:42:36.400
There's a hilarious story of what happened when we met.

772
00:42:36.720 --> 00:42:38.960
I thought that he was someone besides who he was.

773
00:42:38.960 --> 00:42:41.880
I got an email that morning that said that a sex offender had moved into my

774
00:42:41.880 --> 00:42:42.360
neighborhood.

775
00:42:42.360 --> 00:42:45.760
And this poor man was the only person that I could see that moved in.

776
00:42:45.760 --> 00:42:48.800
And I had a five year old daughter at the time. I was a single mom, right?

777
00:42:48.800 --> 00:42:52.640
I had mama bear energy going on and I yelled at him. I was like, Hey bro,

778
00:42:52.640 --> 00:42:56.480
I know who you are. I know who you are. So stay away from me and my family.

779
00:42:57.040 --> 00:43:01.440
I promise you this happened. And then of course, thankfully someone else,

780
00:43:01.520 --> 00:43:05.040
another neighbor saw this exchange and was just like, what,

781
00:43:05.200 --> 00:43:07.600
what's wrong with you? Like I knew her,

782
00:43:07.600 --> 00:43:09.520
we'd lived next to each other for several years.

783
00:43:09.800 --> 00:43:11.480
And I told her what I thought about him,

784
00:43:11.520 --> 00:43:15.200
about him being the email guy. And she was like, that's not who that is.

785
00:43:15.200 --> 00:43:19.240
She goes, I spent a couple hours talking to this guy a week ago when he first

786
00:43:19.240 --> 00:43:22.920
moved in. He's a great guy. He's a teacher down the street. You know,

787
00:43:23.200 --> 00:43:26.320
he's a worship pastor, worship leader at a big church, you know,

788
00:43:26.320 --> 00:43:29.760
all these things. And of course my assumptions made an ass out of me.

789
00:43:29.760 --> 00:43:34.400
And so I went and I apologized to him. Then we started being friends four months

790
00:43:34.400 --> 00:43:37.120
into that friendship. He made it clear that, you know,

791
00:43:37.680 --> 00:43:41.280
he had found his good thing and we dated for four months and we were married.

792
00:43:41.280 --> 00:43:44.160
So from the time that I yelled at him in my front yard to the time I said I do

793
00:43:44.160 --> 00:43:47.600
with the altar was eight months and we've been married for 17 years.

794
00:43:47.760 --> 00:43:51.320
So there's two types of marriages that happen fast. The crazy, toxic,

795
00:43:51.360 --> 00:43:53.520
terrible ones, fleshmates,

796
00:43:53.840 --> 00:43:57.800
and also the undeniably supernatural ones like my story.

797
00:43:58.000 --> 00:44:00.200
And I want to help you be able to discern which is which,

798
00:44:00.200 --> 00:44:03.520
because some of y'all have been running off half cocked with people that you

799
00:44:03.520 --> 00:44:06.920
shouldn't have even had your second date with, let alone got married to. All

800
00:44:06.920 --> 00:44:11.280
right. So that was 18. That was almost 18 years ago, 17 years ago. And you know,

801
00:44:11.280 --> 00:44:12.200
we're one of the good ones.

802
00:44:12.200 --> 00:44:15.520
So we have proven together as we've raised this blended family and you guys,

803
00:44:15.520 --> 00:44:18.480
I didn't expect my, my love story. First of all,

804
00:44:18.480 --> 00:44:21.320
I wasn't looking for a love story at all. Okay.

805
00:44:21.320 --> 00:44:23.720
I didn't even expect that God was even going to give me a do over.

806
00:44:23.720 --> 00:44:26.160
And a lot of you were there. You're like, does God even have this for me?

807
00:44:26.160 --> 00:44:29.640
Maybe God doesn't even want this for me. I was definitely in that boat.

808
00:44:30.200 --> 00:44:35.080
I definitely did not think about my Prince Charming, you know,

809
00:44:35.080 --> 00:44:39.400
my handsome Prince coming in a box set. He came in a box set y'all.

810
00:44:39.640 --> 00:44:41.680
I'm like, isn't the Prince sold separately? You know,

811
00:44:41.680 --> 00:44:45.840
can't get I get hit, get them sold separately, not in a box set with two children.

812
00:44:46.160 --> 00:44:47.680
So it was a box set.

813
00:44:47.680 --> 00:44:50.440
It was a blended family set and I had a five year old,

814
00:44:50.440 --> 00:44:53.720
he had a nine and 11 year old. And so when we came together,

815
00:44:53.760 --> 00:44:55.760
I had all of that to deal with.

816
00:44:55.760 --> 00:44:59.640
And I wasn't expecting that to ever be part of my quote unquote love story.

817
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.840
A lot of you are in your own way because you think

818
00:45:01.840 --> 00:45:03.880
that you know what it looks like.

819
00:45:03.880 --> 00:45:04.940
I want you to close your eyes right now

820
00:45:04.940 --> 00:45:06.440
and I want you to picture for me a red car.

821
00:45:06.440 --> 00:45:09.600
Everyone close your eyes, picture a red car for me.

822
00:45:09.600 --> 00:45:10.900
Picture a red car.

823
00:45:11.840 --> 00:45:12.680
What does it look like?

824
00:45:12.680 --> 00:45:15.000
What color are the seats inside?

825
00:45:15.000 --> 00:45:16.040
Picture it.

826
00:45:17.120 --> 00:45:18.120
Picture it.

827
00:45:19.760 --> 00:45:22.080
All right, now, for those of you that are watching live,

828
00:45:22.080 --> 00:45:22.920
post in the chat.

829
00:45:22.920 --> 00:45:24.340
For those of you that are watching on replay,

830
00:45:24.340 --> 00:45:26.080
go ahead and write down what you pictured.

831
00:45:26.080 --> 00:45:28.440
I guarantee all of you have pictured something different.

832
00:45:28.440 --> 00:45:30.080
The make and model of that car is different.

833
00:45:30.080 --> 00:45:33.000
Some of you pictured Lambo, some of you pictured

834
00:45:33.000 --> 00:45:36.320
some sort of van, minivan.

835
00:45:36.320 --> 00:45:39.400
Some of you pictured a truck, F-150.

836
00:45:39.400 --> 00:45:40.480
Go ahead and put in the comments

837
00:45:40.480 --> 00:45:41.920
if you're watching live what you pictured.

838
00:45:41.920 --> 00:45:43.320
If you're watching in replay,

839
00:45:43.320 --> 00:45:46.000
go ahead and write down what you pictured

840
00:45:46.000 --> 00:45:47.020
because what is that?

841
00:45:47.020 --> 00:45:48.580
That is the way our mind works.

842
00:45:48.580 --> 00:45:50.440
When we hear something, like God saying,

843
00:45:50.440 --> 00:45:52.120
hey, I have a love story for you,

844
00:45:52.120 --> 00:45:54.520
we begin to decorate it in our mind.

845
00:45:54.520 --> 00:45:57.000
We begin to picture something specific.

846
00:45:57.040 --> 00:46:00.580
The chances of your love story coming into agreement

847
00:46:00.580 --> 00:46:02.800
with whatever it is that you have pictured in your mind

848
00:46:02.800 --> 00:46:04.580
is slim to none.

849
00:46:04.580 --> 00:46:05.640
God gives us the best thing

850
00:46:05.640 --> 00:46:07.760
that we never knew we even wanted.

851
00:46:07.760 --> 00:46:09.000
That's what he does.

852
00:46:09.000 --> 00:46:11.360
And so that's what's in a lot of people's way

853
00:46:11.360 --> 00:46:13.080
is that what God has for you

854
00:46:13.080 --> 00:46:15.200
and what you think he has for you, they don't look alike.

855
00:46:15.200 --> 00:46:18.420
And so you're digging ditches where it's not gonna rain.

856
00:46:18.420 --> 00:46:19.260
You're not.

857
00:46:19.260 --> 00:46:22.880
And you're turning down things that could be amazing for you

858
00:46:22.880 --> 00:46:25.600
because it's not like what you pictured, okay?

859
00:46:25.600 --> 00:46:28.280
And some of you are saying, I can't even picture it at all.

860
00:46:28.280 --> 00:46:29.520
So you're really shut down

861
00:46:29.520 --> 00:46:31.880
in your ability to dream with God.

862
00:46:31.880 --> 00:46:34.320
So we have proven, my husband and I,

863
00:46:34.320 --> 00:46:37.360
that whatever has run in our family can run out with us.

864
00:46:37.360 --> 00:46:40.920
My dad, my biological father has been married five times.

865
00:46:40.920 --> 00:46:43.520
He ran out on my mom when I was six months old

866
00:46:43.520 --> 00:46:47.200
and never saw him again until I was in my late teen years,

867
00:46:47.200 --> 00:46:49.740
okay, never had a relationship with him.

868
00:46:49.740 --> 00:46:50.580
Didn't have relationship

869
00:46:50.580 --> 00:46:52.240
with any of her other husbands either really

870
00:46:52.240 --> 00:46:54.080
until just recently my mom passed

871
00:46:54.080 --> 00:46:56.320
and I've gotten kind of close to her last husband.

872
00:46:56.320 --> 00:46:58.040
And then my husband that I married,

873
00:46:58.040 --> 00:46:59.600
even though he was raised in the church,

874
00:46:59.600 --> 00:47:02.680
his mom was divorced, his dad was divorced.

875
00:47:02.680 --> 00:47:04.400
Everyone in his life has been divorced,

876
00:47:04.400 --> 00:47:06.560
all his aunts and uncles, even his grandparents,

877
00:47:06.560 --> 00:47:07.720
everyone divorced.

878
00:47:07.720 --> 00:47:10.600
And so we have proven that what has run in our family

879
00:47:10.600 --> 00:47:13.080
can run out with us, right?

880
00:47:13.080 --> 00:47:14.700
But a lot of people don't wanna put themselves

881
00:47:14.700 --> 00:47:15.540
out there again.

882
00:47:15.540 --> 00:47:16.880
They don't wanna try again.

883
00:47:16.880 --> 00:47:17.760
They're scared.

884
00:47:17.760 --> 00:47:19.280
They're scared of disappointment.

885
00:47:19.280 --> 00:47:20.840
They're scared of getting their hopes up.

886
00:47:20.840 --> 00:47:22.640
And they're also scared of failure.

887
00:47:22.640 --> 00:47:24.680
But failure doesn't rob us of potential.

888
00:47:24.680 --> 00:47:27.800
You guys, it robs us of confidence.

889
00:47:27.800 --> 00:47:29.920
You still have all the same potential.

890
00:47:29.920 --> 00:47:32.440
So I wanna go down to the first banner scripture

891
00:47:32.440 --> 00:47:35.480
for this movement and also for this challenge.

892
00:47:35.480 --> 00:47:36.960
And it's Jeremiah 6, 16.

893
00:47:36.960 --> 00:47:38.920
And basically this scripture just says

894
00:47:38.920 --> 00:47:41.800
the ancient of ways, God, the ancient of days,

895
00:47:41.800 --> 00:47:44.240
I'm sorry God, has ancient ways.

896
00:47:44.240 --> 00:47:46.760
And if we ask him to show us

897
00:47:46.760 --> 00:47:48.240
to come off this path of pain,

898
00:47:48.240 --> 00:47:52.600
show us the good path to take from his ancient ways,

899
00:47:53.560 --> 00:47:56.920
then we can take it and our shalom, our peace, can increase.

900
00:47:56.920 --> 00:47:58.240
So I'll put all that together.

901
00:47:58.240 --> 00:47:59.920
The ancient of days has ancient ways.

902
00:47:59.920 --> 00:48:02.480
And if we ask him for the good path, the good way to go,

903
00:48:02.480 --> 00:48:05.060
he will show it to us so that our life

904
00:48:05.060 --> 00:48:07.080
can get rid of the chaos and confusion

905
00:48:07.080 --> 00:48:08.840
and shalom, peace can come.

906
00:48:08.840 --> 00:48:10.280
That word peace in that scripture

907
00:48:10.280 --> 00:48:13.200
actually means devouring chaos and confusion.

908
00:48:13.200 --> 00:48:16.040
And a lot of you, your family life, okay,

909
00:48:16.040 --> 00:48:18.760
your love life has had a lot of chaos

910
00:48:18.760 --> 00:48:20.340
and confusion attached to it.

911
00:48:20.340 --> 00:48:21.460
So we wanna do this.

912
00:48:21.460 --> 00:48:23.260
We wanna get on that good path.

913
00:48:23.260 --> 00:48:24.260
We do.

914
00:48:24.260 --> 00:48:25.460
And what is that good path?

915
00:48:25.460 --> 00:48:27.420
I believe it's marriage and family.

916
00:48:27.420 --> 00:48:30.340
And I believe it's specifically community-based matchmaking,

917
00:48:30.340 --> 00:48:33.020
which is what we do here at Last Year Single.

918
00:48:33.020 --> 00:48:35.340
We don't just date rando people.

919
00:48:35.340 --> 00:48:37.100
We get the information that we need

920
00:48:37.100 --> 00:48:39.820
and we get the community we need, okay,

921
00:48:39.820 --> 00:48:42.940
that one degree of separation from our spirit mate.

922
00:48:42.940 --> 00:48:44.500
Because I believe that somebody knows somebody

923
00:48:44.500 --> 00:48:46.340
who knows somebody who knows your spirit mate.

924
00:48:46.340 --> 00:48:49.460
And so we leverage that in the way

925
00:48:49.460 --> 00:48:52.780
of meeting our partners, right?

926
00:48:52.780 --> 00:48:55.140
So I just wanna unpack really quickly Paul's teachings

927
00:48:55.140 --> 00:48:57.180
because that's what keeps a lot of people stuck.

928
00:48:57.180 --> 00:48:59.860
They're like, but Paul said, but Paul said, but Paul said.

929
00:48:59.860 --> 00:49:04.860
Okay, so let's talk about what Paul said right now.

930
00:49:08.500 --> 00:49:11.620
Let's talk about Paul.

931
00:49:11.620 --> 00:49:15.340
All right, so Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7, 7,

932
00:49:15.340 --> 00:49:19.440
he goes, hey, I wish all of you had the same gift as I do.

933
00:49:20.280 --> 00:49:22.120
To be single, then you wouldn't be arguing with each other.

934
00:49:22.120 --> 00:49:23.160
Why were they arguing?

935
00:49:23.160 --> 00:49:25.080
Because a whole bunch of people have been converted

936
00:49:25.080 --> 00:49:27.360
to Christianity because of Paul's preaching.

937
00:49:27.360 --> 00:49:29.720
And now they were no longer sleeping with their spouses.

938
00:49:29.720 --> 00:49:30.680
They weren't having sex

939
00:49:30.680 --> 00:49:32.440
with their unbelieving spouses anymore.

940
00:49:32.440 --> 00:49:33.480
And why is that?

941
00:49:33.480 --> 00:49:35.320
Because they want it to be holy.

942
00:49:35.320 --> 00:49:37.320
And so right now I feel like there's a couple of messages

943
00:49:37.320 --> 00:49:38.840
here in this scripture.

944
00:49:38.840 --> 00:49:41.360
Not having sex does not make you holy.

945
00:49:41.360 --> 00:49:42.980
For all of you, they're like, I've been abstaining.

946
00:49:42.980 --> 00:49:45.540
I'm celibate, you know, it doesn't make you holy.

947
00:49:45.540 --> 00:49:47.980
And for those of you that have never had sex,

948
00:49:47.980 --> 00:49:49.100
I'm proud of you.

949
00:49:49.760 --> 00:49:52.760
I'm so proud that you've been able to not complicate

950
00:49:52.760 --> 00:49:56.960
your life and mess up your life with all kinds of soul ties

951
00:49:56.960 --> 00:49:59.960
and all kinds of crazy stuff by saving that for covenant.

952
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.080
someday, but that does not, that's not what's making you worthy.

953
00:50:03.080 --> 00:50:04.840
Your value is not in your virginity.

954
00:50:05.120 --> 00:50:08.040
Your value to your future husband is not in your virginity.

955
00:50:08.280 --> 00:50:11.040
You're going to be able to come into marriage without a bunch of sexual

956
00:50:11.040 --> 00:50:13.960
baggage, provided that you didn't get it elsewhere.

957
00:50:13.960 --> 00:50:16.680
Just because we haven't had intercourse doesn't mean we haven't watched porn.

958
00:50:16.960 --> 00:50:20.480
Doesn't mean that we haven't read all the, you know, the mommy porn, you know,

959
00:50:20.480 --> 00:50:21.920
spicy books and all. I mean,

960
00:50:21.920 --> 00:50:25.360
you could have sexual baggage without ever having intercourse, just so you know,

961
00:50:25.760 --> 00:50:29.760
especially if you've been abused or molested or raped or not raped, but you know,

962
00:50:29.760 --> 00:50:33.680
all kinds of other things. And you're still, yeah, your hymen is still intact,

963
00:50:33.680 --> 00:50:35.400
but maybe your heart's not still intact.

964
00:50:35.400 --> 00:50:38.640
And I feel like that's a message for someone because I've never actually said

965
00:50:38.640 --> 00:50:40.600
that on a challenge before. All right.

966
00:50:40.640 --> 00:50:43.720
So your value is not in your virginity. And ladies,

967
00:50:43.720 --> 00:50:46.080
for all of you that have made a lot of bad sexual choices,

968
00:50:46.080 --> 00:50:50.480
your value is not in your virginity and your value is not in your vagina. Okay.

969
00:50:50.640 --> 00:50:54.880
The feminine has so much more to bring to the table and then just our sexuality.

970
00:50:55.040 --> 00:50:56.400
So Paul's saying, Hey, you know what?

971
00:50:56.400 --> 00:51:00.440
I wish that you had the same gift as me because if you didn't have this sex

972
00:51:00.440 --> 00:51:02.680
drive and you didn't have this marriage,

973
00:51:02.800 --> 00:51:05.960
then you would not be in chaos and confusion right now.

974
00:51:05.960 --> 00:51:08.760
You wouldn't be arguing with each other. And he's basically saying,

975
00:51:09.720 --> 00:51:12.320
with all the problems I have, I'm glad a woman ain't one.

976
00:51:12.880 --> 00:51:15.920
That's what he's saying with all the problems that I have already.

977
00:51:16.520 --> 00:51:19.360
I'm glad a woman ain't one. And so he said,

978
00:51:19.360 --> 00:51:21.800
I wish that all of you could stay celibate like me.

979
00:51:21.800 --> 00:51:25.040
So you don't have this brand of problem. But then he went on to say,

980
00:51:25.200 --> 00:51:28.320
but you might not have the same gift as me. I wish you had this gift,

981
00:51:28.560 --> 00:51:30.680
but maybe you have a different gift. You guys,

982
00:51:30.680 --> 00:51:34.440
the word gift in that original Greek writing is the word charisma.

983
00:51:34.640 --> 00:51:39.160
And that word means empowerment from heaven. He's saying,

984
00:51:39.160 --> 00:51:43.520
I wish you were empowered by heaven to stay celibate,

985
00:51:44.040 --> 00:51:47.920
single, not solitary. Cause Paul had a lot of community,

986
00:51:48.200 --> 00:51:52.040
but single, not in domestic partnership, right?

987
00:51:52.720 --> 00:51:56.440
But you have your own gift. And Jesus talks about that gift in Matthew.

988
00:51:56.960 --> 00:52:00.280
Matthew 19 talks about his, his disciples are like,

989
00:52:00.280 --> 00:52:02.720
we don't want to get married. It's too hard. Moses said, it's hard.

990
00:52:02.720 --> 00:52:06.200
Look at all the things that make it hard. And Jesus said, okay, stop, listen,

991
00:52:06.560 --> 00:52:08.840
your father in heaven created you to partner,

992
00:52:08.880 --> 00:52:10.200
but not everyone's going to partner.

993
00:52:10.200 --> 00:52:12.000
And here are the reasons why they're not going to.

994
00:52:12.240 --> 00:52:14.640
And all the reasons are really human reasons, you guys.

995
00:52:15.080 --> 00:52:17.280
And basically it's about immaturity. He said,

996
00:52:17.280 --> 00:52:20.440
but if you're mature enough to enter into marriage, you should do it.

997
00:52:21.120 --> 00:52:25.320
And right there, he says the same word that Paul said, if you have the charisma,

998
00:52:25.320 --> 00:52:29.400
if you have the empowerment from heaven to enter into the maturity and the

999
00:52:29.400 --> 00:52:31.200
weightiness of partnership,

1000
00:52:31.320 --> 00:52:36.080
then you should do it because your father in heaven has created them from the

1001
00:52:36.080 --> 00:52:37.560
beginning, male and female, right?

1002
00:52:37.560 --> 00:52:39.720
So Jesus is talking about this other gifts.

1003
00:52:39.720 --> 00:52:41.920
You guys either have a gift to be single.

1004
00:52:41.920 --> 00:52:45.520
And sometimes you just have that gift or that empowerment from heaven for a

1005
00:52:45.520 --> 00:52:48.720
certain season of your life. Maybe you got out a bad relationship, a divorce,

1006
00:52:48.920 --> 00:52:53.680
and you have the ability to be content in not being partnered during a season of

1007
00:52:53.680 --> 00:52:57.520
your life. Not a lot of people have that gift or that empowerment,

1008
00:52:57.520 --> 00:53:01.280
that charisma for their whole lives. Not a lot of people have it.

1009
00:53:01.480 --> 00:53:04.300
There are people that do have it and they're all on assignment from heaven.

1010
00:53:04.300 --> 00:53:08.760
They're all vocationally assigned to be celibate.

1011
00:53:09.120 --> 00:53:13.400
Do you understand that? So you can have that for some, some portion of your life.

1012
00:53:13.420 --> 00:53:14.760
Hopefully when you're a child,

1013
00:53:14.920 --> 00:53:19.080
you're not always in some committed relationship and you're learning who you

1014
00:53:19.080 --> 00:53:22.320
are. I hate when we sexualize children and be like, is that your boyfriend?

1015
00:53:22.320 --> 00:53:24.120
Is that your girlfriend? Have you kissed them yet?

1016
00:53:24.480 --> 00:53:29.480
Let kids be kids and let them have that time to really get anchored in their own

1017
00:53:29.840 --> 00:53:33.880
identity before throwing them into this kind of stuff. That's weighty.

1018
00:53:34.520 --> 00:53:38.280
Jesus said in that scripture, marriage is weighty. Relationship is weighty.

1019
00:53:38.680 --> 00:53:39.500
It is.

1020
00:53:39.600 --> 00:53:43.560
And so I believe that marriage and family is God's maturity plan for mankind.

1021
00:53:43.840 --> 00:53:46.280
God gives us the charisma to be able to enter into it.

1022
00:53:46.280 --> 00:53:49.520
And then we continue to get refined and matured by it. All right.

1023
00:53:49.760 --> 00:53:53.840
So first Corinthians seven, seven, Paul's talking about this. Um, you guys,

1024
00:53:53.880 --> 00:53:57.340
the sex drive that he talks about in that you guys don't have sex outside of

1025
00:53:57.340 --> 00:54:01.200
covenant. Sex is an acronym, sacred energy exchange.

1026
00:54:01.800 --> 00:54:05.160
Please save it for covenant because otherwise it's going to mess you up.

1027
00:54:05.560 --> 00:54:08.800
Everyone who comes to me, who's been in a really, you know,

1028
00:54:08.880 --> 00:54:11.760
a relationship that looks like it's going in the right direction and it looks

1029
00:54:11.760 --> 00:54:13.920
really exciting, you know, and it looks positive.

1030
00:54:13.920 --> 00:54:16.560
They come to me and then all of a sudden they've broken up and they're like,

1031
00:54:16.560 --> 00:54:18.900
it just came out of nowhere. It's like a sucker punch.

1032
00:54:18.900 --> 00:54:21.840
They broke up with me or we broke up and I just didn't see it coming.

1033
00:54:22.240 --> 00:54:25.280
I always ask this question to my clients. Did you have sex?

1034
00:54:25.600 --> 00:54:28.080
And a hundred percent of the time they say yes, y'all,

1035
00:54:28.760 --> 00:54:31.680
something can have potential. And then you throw that in there,

1036
00:54:31.720 --> 00:54:35.200
you throw that in there like a hand grenade and just blows the relationship up.

1037
00:54:35.440 --> 00:54:39.820
Save that for when you have the bandwidth in the, in the relationship,

1038
00:54:39.820 --> 00:54:43.980
the relationship is mature enough and committed enough because it's a covenant

1039
00:54:43.980 --> 00:54:47.740
relationship and you've made a covenant to handle that part,

1040
00:54:48.020 --> 00:54:49.980
that physical part. All right.

1041
00:54:50.540 --> 00:54:55.220
So Paul says he wishes that we all had it because he acknowledges that everyone

1042
00:54:55.220 --> 00:54:56.060
doesn't have it,

1043
00:54:56.540 --> 00:55:00.020
but he wishes they did because he thinks that this domestic

1044
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.280
Disruption and distraction is just too much, right?

1045
00:55:03.560 --> 00:55:05.080
But let's look at Paul.

1046
00:55:05.560 --> 00:55:09.080
Let's look at Paul's maturity plan because he doesn't say he doesn't have one.

1047
00:55:09.080 --> 00:55:13.920
He just doesn't have the marriage and family plan, right? Paul's maturity plan,

1048
00:55:14.000 --> 00:55:18.080
his gift, his calling came with a different maturity plan. Let's look at it.

1049
00:55:18.240 --> 00:55:21.560
Snake bites, shipwrecks, beatings, imprisonments,

1050
00:55:21.720 --> 00:55:24.280
this mystery thorn in the flesh that Paul had going on.

1051
00:55:24.440 --> 00:55:28.680
He had a different type of refining, right? And when I saw that, I was like,

1052
00:55:28.680 --> 00:55:30.360
no, thank you. All right. I'm like,

1053
00:55:34.280 --> 00:55:36.600
Oh, Hey, yeah, God, uh, I'm going to take that marriage plan.

1054
00:55:36.920 --> 00:55:40.040
I saw what I needed to see and I'm going to take it. In fact, you know,

1055
00:55:40.040 --> 00:55:44.200
I'd like to, uh, wait, uh, wait, Boaz, the Boaz plan.

1056
00:55:44.200 --> 00:55:47.560
Do you got the Boaz plan still? Oh, all right. Yeah. Dang.

1057
00:55:47.800 --> 00:55:50.320
It's always on a waiting list. All right.

1058
00:55:50.320 --> 00:55:54.280
Well can I add in the sex drive until I die? Can you add that on? All right.

1059
00:55:54.400 --> 00:55:57.520
I'll take it. Thanks. Y'all it's going to cost you.

1060
00:55:57.760 --> 00:55:59.720
Marriage is going to cost you. It's going to refine you.

1061
00:55:59.720 --> 00:56:01.480
It's going to change you. It's supposed to.

1062
00:56:01.600 --> 00:56:03.200
Relationships not supposed to be easy,

1063
00:56:03.200 --> 00:56:06.480
especially not in 2024 with all the broken hearts out there,

1064
00:56:06.600 --> 00:56:10.600
but it is going to be worth it. Not easy, but it's going to be worth it.

1065
00:56:10.720 --> 00:56:14.840
And for all you ladies that want Boaz, no, you don't. Boaz was an old ass.

1066
00:56:15.000 --> 00:56:18.480
He was old. All right. He was twice Ruth's age.

1067
00:56:18.600 --> 00:56:22.400
And that was a lineage and legacy kinsmen redeemer type of situation.

1068
00:56:22.680 --> 00:56:27.280
I can't even get my 60 plus year old clients married.

1069
00:56:27.400 --> 00:56:31.280
No one wants to touch them with a 10 foot pole. Even the 60 year old women.

1070
00:56:31.440 --> 00:56:33.760
Oh, I want someone younger. I want someone more active.

1071
00:56:33.760 --> 00:56:35.880
I'm worried that I'm going to be a caretaker someday.

1072
00:56:36.040 --> 00:56:39.000
So you guys stop asking for Boaz. All right.

1073
00:56:39.040 --> 00:56:43.440
Because we know that you do not, he was a rich ass, but he was also an old ass.

1074
00:56:43.440 --> 00:56:45.480
So if you want to marry someone twice as old as you,

1075
00:56:45.480 --> 00:56:50.280
then come see me because I got you. All right. It's true. It's true.

1076
00:56:50.280 --> 00:56:54.280
It's true. So marriage will change you, mature you, all the things.

1077
00:56:55.080 --> 00:56:56.320
It's not the gift of singleness.

1078
00:56:56.320 --> 00:56:57.760
I think I've proven to you right here,

1079
00:56:57.760 --> 00:57:02.520
biblically unpacking those scriptures the right way that it's not

1080
00:57:02.560 --> 00:57:06.040
singleness or the gift of singleness. That's keeping God's kids unmarried.

1081
00:57:06.240 --> 00:57:09.480
What is keeping them unmarried pain from the past? That's unhealed.

1082
00:57:09.680 --> 00:57:13.880
All kinds of missed expectations, all kinds of crazy stuff.

1083
00:57:14.040 --> 00:57:17.360
The coldness of our hearts. The Bible says at the end of the age,

1084
00:57:17.360 --> 00:57:20.280
which we've been living in the end of the age for a long time,

1085
00:57:20.720 --> 00:57:23.440
that there was going to be a hardness that came to our hearts.

1086
00:57:23.760 --> 00:57:27.160
The love of many people was going to get cold. Right?

1087
00:57:27.160 --> 00:57:30.480
And you see that all around. People are suspicious. They're not trusting.

1088
00:57:30.720 --> 00:57:33.040
They're guarded. There's too many distractions.

1089
00:57:33.040 --> 00:57:35.400
That's number two reason why so many people are single.

1090
00:57:35.600 --> 00:57:38.240
We have so many options for temporary fulfillment.

1091
00:57:38.480 --> 00:57:42.320
We're showing up full to a buffet all the time, right?

1092
00:57:42.320 --> 00:57:46.320
That's why our relationship with God is suffered so much because we have so much

1093
00:57:46.320 --> 00:57:48.560
distraction, so much, right?

1094
00:57:48.800 --> 00:57:52.720
And people are so selfish and trying to keep themselves safe all the time.

1095
00:57:52.960 --> 00:57:56.480
You're so self defended. You don't give a chance to be God defended.

1096
00:57:56.480 --> 00:58:01.160
And you need to be able to step into being God defended in order to really let

1097
00:58:01.160 --> 00:58:05.520
people get into your, get into your life. As long as you're self defended,

1098
00:58:05.520 --> 00:58:08.440
you're going to see red flags, even when there aren't any.

1099
00:58:08.680 --> 00:58:12.920
And so I want to help you step into what I call God defended. And then of course,

1100
00:58:12.920 --> 00:58:16.000
we've gotten to a lot of bad habits of isolation, right?

1101
00:58:16.040 --> 00:58:19.880
And unhealthy stuff happens in isolation. It does. We need community.

1102
00:58:19.960 --> 00:58:23.280
We need accountability. We need all of those things. All right.

1103
00:58:23.280 --> 00:58:25.440
So here's the declarations for your homework tonight.

1104
00:58:26.920 --> 00:58:30.440
Here are the declarations from this teaching for your homework tonight.

1105
00:58:31.080 --> 00:58:34.800
Say them with me, repeat after me, and then say them yourself.

1106
00:58:34.820 --> 00:58:38.120
I'm going to post them in the challenge group. Marriage is God's idea.

1107
00:58:39.080 --> 00:58:41.040
Say it. Marriage is God's idea.

1108
00:58:41.760 --> 00:58:46.080
God wants me married even more than I want to be married.

1109
00:58:46.880 --> 00:58:49.400
God wants me married even more than I want to be married.

1110
00:58:50.120 --> 00:58:54.840
Marriage and family is God's maturity plan for

1111
00:58:54.840 --> 00:58:58.640
mankind. God will do his part,

1112
00:58:59.040 --> 00:59:01.080
but I have to be willing to do mine.

1113
00:59:02.520 --> 00:59:06.600
If I had the charisma, the gift to be single,

1114
00:59:07.120 --> 00:59:10.400
I wouldn't yearn for a husband and partnership.

1115
00:59:11.800 --> 00:59:13.600
If all I needed was God,

1116
00:59:14.480 --> 00:59:17.640
then man could have stayed alone in the garden.

1117
00:59:18.640 --> 00:59:20.320
I hope you enjoyed challenge day one.

1118
00:59:20.600 --> 00:59:23.160
I hope that you come right back here tomorrow for challenge day two.

1119
00:59:23.320 --> 00:59:25.160
It's going to be even better. I'll see you soon.