All right, so welcome to your heart check-in ladies and Bethany is going to be facilitating most of that check-in
But I came tonight because I really wanted to just check in with y'all and let you know that God is on the move
God is on the move. I am in Cartagena and that is in Colombia. That is in South America
I have never been out of the country except once last summer
My family went to Italy and that was the first time that I left the United States of America besides Niagara Falls
Well in Cabo, Mexico, that's true. And so
This is definitely a whole different culture down here, but God loves
His single sons and daughters. We are here for the very first
Last-trip single retreat that is why I'm here
And so I would have never chosen that this to be the place
But God chose this city and it's very obvious why because people here are so hungry they're so hungry for
Holy Spirit, they're so hungry for
You know marriage and family. I mean, this is a culture that you know, obviously values marriage
but then there's a lot of breakdown because of the
Patriarchy and machismo and if you don't know what that means
That just means men acting badly and not being sorry for it because it's part of culture
And so the local news did a story twice on me being here and
All kinds of crazy things started happening. And so I just want to let you know that God is opening up other nations
I really believe that there are you know
amazing men and women in these nations that God has hand-picked to be part of this revival of marriage and family and
So it's just it's so it's so incredible. I'm so I'm just blown away honestly by it
Ah
No one here speaks English
so
Doing a local news interview was an interesting a very interesting
Situation, but we did have some women that showed up for our first ever last year single
conference here in Cartagena and
They are definitely world changers
They're definitely people that God has put his hand upon to help bring this movement here
So and we're gonna do this exact same thing four weeks from now in Canada
Except we've been sowing the seed in that nation for a while, especially Western Canada, Calgary, Alberta
Edmonton and so we're excited to be going there a month from now and that will be our second last trip single retreat in
Conference and then we have several other several other conferences planned several for the domestic United States. We have one planned for
Frankenmuth Michigan for all you Midwestern girlies. We're gonna be having that we're gonna do Christmas
Actually the second week of December that's gonna be our signature retreat where we do a say yes to the dress event
That is a very prophetic retreat if you can come to that you're gonna love it
And then we do that same retreat in Austin. We'll be doing that in August
I don't know Bethany if they got a calendar of all the proposed trips and retreats for last trip single
It should be tagged in your featured section. I think we put it up for everyone
So we're about to open the registration page for the Calgary retreat and conference in Canada
And then the rest of them will be not that far behind
London we're going to London this year in the fall
We're going to be there for a royal wedding. No, just kidding
We're gonna be there for a wedding and we're gonna do a retreat and a conference on the tail of that
Hopefully partnering with one of our San Francisco churches that has a church plant in London and we're gonna be doing a San Francisco
Or West Coast Conference Menlo Park as well this year. I don't think that that made it to the calendar Bethany
So that's just some things for you to get excited
and you know why because I've been looking through your group today and I see that so many of you are so glad that you
Took the leap of faith and you're getting so much breakthrough already
And the reason why is because you're missionaries if you never knew that you were gonna be called to be a missionary
Guess what? You are you are called to be a missionary to marriage and family
God is raising up missionaries to marriage and family and you are a missionary
And so I want that to become part of the confession that you have of yourself
That God has called you
to the mission field of marriage and family and it's gonna be very very
Exciting not easy but worth it
Okay
so I wanted to pop in here this tonight and just tell you that one of the things that came spiritually to me today to
tell this
class
That's in phase one right now is I want you to be very aware of the stories that you tell yourself
Write that down
We all tell ourselves stories
And they come in the form of thoughts.
They come in the form of the reactions
that we have to things.
Like for instance, for a long time,
when things would get too difficult
and I would fear disappointment,
I would tell myself what I call
the language of disappointment.
I would say, that doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter anyway.
I didn't want that anyway.
Also, I frequently found myself saying to myself,
Jackie, you should just give up on this.
You should just quit this.
You should just stop.
You should not even, you shouldn't even try anymore.
And what is that?
That is the language of disappointment.
That is the language of fear.
That is also the language that keeps us
from really putting ourselves out there,
taking risks, taking territory,
because obviously the enemy doesn't want us to do that.
The opposing forces don't want us to do that,
but not just that.
Deep inside, there's a part of you
that doesn't want you to do that either
because that part of you is just afraid
of more disappointment and trauma,
more failure.
I remember when I first stepped out,
really tried to launch my first company,
which was a television network for women called Jane TV.
I would very frequently find myself
in a place where I was telling myself
that I was a failure,
that I was gonna disappoint everyone,
that this wasn't gonna work out,
that there wasn't gonna be any kind of success
and that everyone was gonna be mad at me.
Those are stories that we tell ourselves, right?
Raise your hand if you have a story that is on repeat,
like a broken record in your head.
And right now you're thinking of it,
the language that you keep telling yourself.
Yeah, well, that language comes from somewhere, right?
It comes from past experiences.
It might be someone else's voice in your head.
It might've been a verbally abusive former spouse
or sister or brother.
Just recently, a lot of people
are dealing with sibling rivalry in the heart work.
That's what they're dealing with.
It wasn't parents that they had to forgive
as much as siblings.
One of my students just told me that,
growing up, her mom and dad worked a lot
and she had an older sister
and her older sister became a very
verbally abusive mother figure to her.
Nothing was ever good enough.
So that could be a sibling's voice in your head,
always competing with you,
always comparing themselves to you.
It could be a former boss or teacher or pastor.
It could be a parent, right?
The language that we use to talk to ourselves
usually comes from somewhere else originally.
So I want you to think about
where that might originate from right now.
It might come from culture.
You look in the mirror and you don't see,
smiling back at you,
what culture has found attractive or valuable.
Some of you are old enough to know that
women have not been highly valued in society.
You come from those generations and guess what?
There were a lot of really bad messages
that were sent to women that were born before 1950
or around the 50s, right?
To tell you that you only have one thing
that you have to offer this world
and that is your uterus,
which is kind of ironic, right?
Because just 10 years later, we had abortion on demand
and we had birth control on demand,
but women, that's all they were good for.
You get married and you become the possession of some man
and then you bear him children, right?
And so that could be the narrative inside of your mind
that you hear.
It could also be just culturally,
whatever's in style or in fashion or whatever's attractive,
you don't see that looking back at you in the mirror.
Let's see, what does culture tell us
is beautiful right now?
I'm pretty sure it's bizarrely small waists
and really large butts.
I don't know how this happened,
but I don't think it's attractive.
It's a freak show, y'all.
It's a freak show out there, isn't it?
It's a good thing that we don't take our cues from that,
right?
Because I'm pretty sure the only time you can get that body
is if you have surgery and lots of it, right?
Right.
And so, but we have.
take inventory and one of my favorite things to say is this, you can write this down,
we don't get what we expect, we get what we inspect.
What does that mean? That means that you have to take your thoughts captive. Isn't that what
the Bible says? We have to inspect our thoughts. And so in this process of heart work, I want you
to really pay attention to what you're thinking about. Think about what you're thinking about.
I've become so self-aware that when that story tries to go on repeat in my mind,
when I start talking to myself in that language, I recognize it now. And I also recognize that
it's not part of the authentic me, it's part of a counterfeit me, it's part of a trauma-based me.
But when that voice starts yapping, I also realize that I'm in a place of overwhelm or stress,
I'm in a place of fear, I'm in a place where whatever I'm going to do next is going to
require risk. And so now I'm afraid. That voice that you hear,
those things that you tell yourself, those stories that begin to go in your mind on repeat,
pay attention not to just what they're saying, but actually when they're happening as well.
When are they happening? Is it happening right before you go on a date?
I once had a student that would throw up, physically throw up before every single date,
had so much anxiety about just being rejected basically was the bottom line.
So pay attention to when they show up. Do they show up before you're going to go into social
situations? Do they show up before you're going to try something new? Do they show up when you
get an invitation? Do you get an invitation to do something and then they show up? Do they show up
at work? Do they show up in family? Do they show up when you hang out with certain friends and not
other friends? Do you guys know that we can have something called frenemies? You ever heard this
word? It's a real thing. And you know what it is? It's people that they're masquerading as friends,
but they really are jealous. They're competitive. They're comparative.
And they use language a lot of times that's very deceiving and manipulative.
Right? It comes across as, I don't know if that was a slam. Was that a put down?
Like you constantly find yourself asking yourself, are they like, are they cutting me down right now?
Or are they just kidding? Are they being sarcastic? They're always comparing themselves.
They're always saying things like, Oh, you know, is that what you're going to wear tonight? Oh,
Oh, well, yeah, fine. It looks, I would never wear that, you know, but you can wear that,
you know, just things that are just subtly undermining. They also might be voices that
are not really crazy about this journey that you're on right now. You probably are not to the
part. And some of you might be to that, to that week where I talk about the crabs in the bucket.
And these are also voices that will try to keep you from going forward.
And it'll be subtle. It won't be overt. A lot of times it won't be in your face. A lot of times,
a lot of times it'd be like, Oh, I don't know if you can trust that guy. You'll be excited about
something. And they're always raining on your parade. Does anyone know these people? They're
always raining on your parade and they might not just be a friend. They might be a family member.
It might be your mom. It might be your auntie. It might be, you know, your best friend's mom,
who knows who it is, but you've got to be careful of these voices because these voices get in and
they become those stories in your head. This other person's voice. You want to surround yourself with
people that are going to cheer for your love story. And that are also going to clap when you
win. They want you to win. They're excited for you to win. In fact, the best thing that could
ever happen to them is that you could win. You want those people in your life. And if you don't
have any of those people, it's time to find those people. Raise your hand. If you don't have any of
those people, you can't think of one person besides this community that is really excited
about what you're doing right now. Good. It looks like all of you have somebody. Perfect.
Now you want more of those somebodies and less of those other buddies. Okay. And sometimes you
can't cut those people off because they're related to you, but you can stop listening
to what they're saying. Especially if after you leave them, you feel defeated. It's hard
to shake negativity, you guys. And when you leave someone who's really deeply negative and offended
and jealous and competitive, that voice will be in your head for a while.
Okay. So those are the
Things that I wanted to share tonight,
I really felt that on my heart really strongly
about those voices that we're listening to,
whether they're coming from the outside
or whether they're coming from the inside,
if they don't line up with what you're learning here
about yourself and about God
and about how God feels about you,
okay, if they don't line up
with what you're being taught here,
then you have to dismiss them.
And it's not gonna be easy, you can't erase.
I'm watching to see who this is resonating with
because that means that you're already
to that point of the teaching.
You can't erase, you have to.
Can't erase, you have to.
And I see Bethany mouthing it,
she should, she better know.
Replace, you can't erase.
You guys, you will never erase these thoughts,
these stories that are in your mind and heart,
you won't erase them.
You can't just say, oh, I'm not gonna believe that,
I'm not gonna think about that anymore.
No, you have to start thinking about something else.
You can't erase them, you have to replace them, okay?
And so when they come, and they will,
and they're always going to,
for the rest of your life,
there's always going to be a naysayer
that tries to jump in your life,
like from the outside or from the inside,
some sort of negativity, some sort of lie,
some sort of trauma-based lie,
some sort of old broken story or narrative
is going to try to repeat itself inside of your mind.
You're going to have to recognize it,
and you're going to have to tell yourself the truth.
So this is what I do now.
I still have those thoughts that come in my mind,
intrusive thoughts, obsessive thoughts.
Who has intrusive and obsessive thoughts?
You do.
Pay attention to what those are about.
Write those things down so you can see them,
so we can all laugh at them together,
because they're lies.
Intrusive and obsessive thoughts.
Nothing good's ever going to happen to you.
Forever alone.
It's going to happen to everyone else, but not you, right?
And a lot of you are waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I want you to be honest right now.
This is something that I've dealt with most of my life.
Because of my very traumatic childhood,
that I've never, I'm a very positive person,
so I'm not verbally negative,
but inside there's this feeling of doom,
where I was always just kind of waiting
for the next bad thing to happen to me.
Always just kind of waiting, you know?
They call it the other shoe to drop.
Yeah, I call it the evil forebodings, Jen.
You're right on track.
The evil forebodings that always come.
Like, for instance, my husband,
we have a studio in our garage,
and it only opens from the inside.
He went there to work, to do some production stuff,
and I went and knocked on the garage door,
and he didn't answer.
And I called his phone, and he didn't answer.
Well, immediately my mind went straight to,
oh, he dropped dead in there.
He's dead in the garage.
He's dead.
He had a heart attack.
He's gone.
He's dead.
What, why?
Why?
Why does it have to be worst case scenario?
Why does he have to be dead in the garage, on the floor?
Why?
Because this is what you get set to when you have PDSD.
Has anyone ever heard of PDSD?
Raise your hand if you think
that you have some version of PDSD.
Raise them high, loud and proud.
Let's see them.
I should have you raise your hand if you don't think
you have any version of PDSD.
And there's another thing that they call,
and there's another thing that they call complex PDSD.
And you know what that means?
It means you complicated.
You have PDSD, and you complicated.
You a complicated person.
And you know what?
That's okay.
So I see a lot of hands up right now.
All of you rowing that boat with me.
Okay, so I want you to understand
that you really can't trust your thought.
You can't trust them.
And so you have to pay very close attention
during this process of heart work
into what is coming in,
into what you're hearing from the outside.
You might wanna stop scrolling.
You know, if you always find yourself reading the sad stories
and seeing all the people that are dying
or getting diagnosed with diseases and all the things,
and that's what your mind looks at.
You guys know that there were a lot of happy posts too.
Why do you only notice the sad ones?
Why do you only notice the bad ones?
ones. Why are you hyper vigilant about danger? Come on, this is really important. Holy Spirit's
on this, Bethany. Let's roll with it. Why are you always only noticing the bad things?
Because you had to protect yourself throughout different seasons of your life. That's called
PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder. And when you have that, a lot of times your imagination,
your consciousness is tuned into potential danger around you, including when you would
just be rolling through Facebook, just scrolling through. You don't notice all the people that
are having babies and getting married and getting promotions at work and all the happy
things. You just notice, oh, these people were in an accident or these people, this
happened to them and that happened to them. And what does that, that makes the world just
a little bit more scary, right? A little bit more dangerous. And then what do we do? We
protect ourselves a little bit more and a little bit more and a little bit more. Does this resonate
with you? This is what happens. And I want you to be honest right now. You're not just,
you're not just tuned into the bad things that are happening. You actually go down the rabbit
trail and you click on the link and you go read the whole story about what happened to those poor
unfortunate souls. Let me see your hand if you do it. You just can't stand it. You just got to go
look at the train wreck. You want to go see the wreck. You want to see, you want to hear
all about it because you just part of it, part of it. I know that you think that it's
just macabre, right? So it's like, I don't know why I'm so morbid. Why in the world would
I want to go look at that? Because part of it is you trying to figure out what happens
so that it won't happen to you. Did you know that people that are addicted to true crime,
it's not because they like to hear about people getting murdered. They want to see
why they got murdered and what they did wrong to get murdered so that they don't get murdered.
I'm not kidding. Did you know the number one genre for women in the world to watch and listen to is
true crime? And I'm convinced that this is why people do it. It isn't because women are morbid
and they want to hear the gory details of how some man, you know, you know, took out a hit on
his wife's life and killed her. They want to hear the whole story so that they can see where
this woman had her blind spots and where she didn't notice what was going wrong so that they
can make sure it doesn't happen to them. And I think it's an unconscious thing. It's one way
that we keep ourselves safe. The problem is Shelley and all the rest of you that watch and
listen to true crime is that it actually is just exacerbating your PTSD. It's just making the world
a scarier and more dangerous place. Do you guys know that there are websites out there and Facebook
groups for women to join and they're called things like girl run or are we dating the same guy? And
there's one in every city. And what they're for is there for women to post all the horror stories
they have in dating. I mean really bad things y'all. Okay. Found out this man's married. He's
married to more than one person. All the different things. This guy's a cheater. This guy's what my
kids call hump him and dump him. You know that kind of stuff. They post these guys pictures on
these Facebook pages and the whole story. They post their social media handles and all the things.
I'm surprised someone hasn't been sued yet for libel and slander. But the bottom line is this.
People join those groups and if you join those groups I'm just gonna tell you what's gonna
happen to you. You're not gonna keep yourself safe from bad guys. You're gonna actually start
believing that that's all there is is bad guys. That's what's gonna happen. When you put that in
front of your face that's what happens. And so let's be careful not only what we are listening
to that's already inside of us in these stories and narratives but let's also be very aware during
this hard work process. I almost ask you to go on a media fast and to what you're letting come in as
well. Yes Diana. Ear gates and eye gates. Let's be very aware of what we are consuming that's gonna
stand in the way of our healing because so many of you are getting a massive breakthrough already.
So exciting to read through your posts and see all the crazy breakthrough. God's speaking to you.
You're seeing all kinds of patterns. You know God's talking to you because of those things. You
know it's not a coincidence. You're also having dreams. All kinds of you. Remember you are on a
dating sabbatical. Please please stay on the dating sabbatical. There's plenty of time for that in
phase two and three. Right now this time is for you to get clear to get clear and to not just not
silence those voices but to replace those voices with truth. Amen. Amen. Now I know that Bethany has
taken a little inventory of all of the things that.
You guys have shared in week one, two, three, four, and five.
She's gonna coach on that tonight.
Remember I said, you don't get what you expect,
you get what you inspect.
And what does that mean?
That means you have to take a deeper, deeper look
at what it is that you're thinking,
because that will lead to what you're believing, right?
That will lead to what you're believing.
And it's the beliefs that we want to shift.
The beliefs are what we want to replace with truth, right?
Okay, all right, love y'all.
I hope you guys have an amazing night.
Thanks, Bethany, for letting me break in.
Absolutely, man, that was so good.
You all, so much going on in the spirit
with what she's just releasing.
When she was talking during the end,
the song, Oh, Be Careful, Little Eyes,
What You See came up in my spirit.
I haven't thought of that song in forever.
And y'all, for those of you that just joined us this week,
you might not know, but a couple of weeks ago,
we were talking about awakening the little princesses.
And in order to awaken the princess us now
in today's world, if you will,
we have to heal the little us.
We have to really learn how to let God come in
and heal that.
And so how interesting that tonight,
part of what she's saying has led to that.
And this is what, I'm not gonna read the whole thing,
but I just wanna read this
because I do believe God is on this
and somebody else still just kind of needs to hear this.
Oh, be careful, little eyes, what you see.
Oh, be careful, little eyes what you see
for the father up above is looking down in love.
So be careful, little eyes what you see.
Be careful, little ears, what you hear.
Oh be careful, little ears, what you hear
for the father up above is looking down in love.
So be careful little ears what you hear.
And it goes on and on.
And it basically goes on from here.
Be careful, little tongue, what you say.
Be careful, little hands, what you do.
Feet, where you go.
Heart, who you trust.
Mind, what you think.
And just reiterates over and over again,
the father's not looking down in chastisement, anger.
Do y'all catch that?
He's looking down with love.
So tonight, what is God just trying to encourage you
to really start to shift what you're allowing
to impact your mind, your heart, your body,
your spirit, and your soul?
Like every day, and I'll be honest, y'all.
I don't know if I watch true crime,
but I do tend to like crime shows like the NCIS
and all that.
But we were watching, my husband and I were watching
a series not that long ago.
And it hasn't been around for a real long time.
I'm not even gonna mention it.
But I just felt like, you know what?
This is getting pretty dark.
And I just, the Holy Spirit was like,
you need to stop watching this.
And it wasn't like I was having like lots of fear
in that moment, but I started realizing
my dreams started changing.
The enemy started showing up more in my dreams
as I was watching that show.
So just wanna say these things do impact us, ladies.
So just be thinking about that.
I really want to, I did, I do have content planned,
but I really feel like what she opened with
is super important.
Some of you guys really need to talk about this.
What she started with, if you weren't on
right at the beginning, is beware of the stories
that you tell yourself.
What are your thoughts?
What are your reactions?
What's the storyline that you are currently
telling yourself?
She gave a couple examples of things that she has faced
and heard and thought of.
It doesn't matter.
I didn't want that anyway.
Jackie, you should just give up on this.
Like, you know, what is it that you guys,
that you ladies are hearing where the Lord
is really trying to say to you tonight,
inspect these thoughts, catch a thought.
You guys, I talk a lot about catching thoughts quickly
and casting them down, you know, scripture declares
and making them obedient to Jesus Christ.
So, you know, it's not just, hey, this thing comes in
and I sit and meditate on it for a long, long time
and then cast it down, which yes,
sometimes that will be what happens,
but we wanna catch that stuff quick, as quick as we can.
And what Jackie shared is that the more we practice
catching these thoughts and stopping them,
the better you're going to get at discerning.
Ask the Lord when you have a thought,
God, is this my thought?
God, is this your thought?
Or God, is this a thought from the enemy?
Some of you all, that's where you need to start.
You don't even know the difference.
And I'm not saying this in a shameful way
because that's part of learning.
It's part of growing in your walk with the Lord.
Even if you've been saved a really long time,
some of you are telling me.
that you're struggling to hear God or to know, is it God or is it?
So just praying that simple prayer, God, is this you?
God, is this my own thoughts?
Or is this a thought from the enemy?
So some of you all have grown up with people saying stuff to you.
You've adopted thoughts that now are your own thoughts.
So that's when I say, is it my own thought?
And those are the thoughts that are now a habit,
even though they're not healthy for us.
So when she was talking about, sometimes we say we want the good thing,
we say we want the spirit, or we say we want to break free financially.
But deep down inside, there's a part of us that's actually afraid for it to happen.
Because then there's that risk of, in our minds, losing it.
So, or some of you, there's a quote, I think this came up last week.
Some of us fear our own greatness.
Some of you have been told so long by, like, growing up,
people that teased you on the playground, wherever it was,
that you, you know, were nothing or you can't amount to anything,
or whatever the phrase is that beats you down mentally and emotionally,
that you heard it so much that that became kind of like your go-to,
even when you don't want it to be.
And so if when you encounter the good, if that feels uncomfortable to you,
I would encourage you to spend as much time around the good as you can.
So what Jackie is saying, limit the bad.
Limit the bad, spend a lot of time with the good,
spend time in the word, worship, you know,
really allow yourself to be around other happy people.
You all, it really can start to impact the way that you're thinking and doing life.
And I'll say for the person that would say, well,
the reason I don't really like to go around a bunch of happy people is like,
I'm not where they're at.
Like I don't have what they have and I don't feel happy like they feel.
Has anybody ever had that happen?
Like everybody else around you, you're like looking and they all look so happy,
but you're not.
And so it makes it difficult to be around them,
but I would encourage you to go towards them,
go towards them, feel the feel so God can heal the feels.
So I'm going to put you in your first breakout.
I did not have this plan, but I just feel led to run with it.
And I'm just going to come up with the question.
So what is the thought tonight?
What is it that God is saying to you?
You need to stop having this thought.
Maybe it's more than one thought,
but just run with whatever Holy spirit's highlighting to you.
And let's see what he wants to do tonight.
All right. I'm going to set up the breakout rooms.
If you're not able to go in the breakouts,
please put in the chat for me.
So I know whether or not I need to pair someone different in the room
that you get assigned to.
Okay. That that's super helpful to me to see that.
I think I'm going to do three to four and that will help that some as well.
When you guys go into your breakouts,
remember kind of hang out there.
Even if nobody else is there with you yet,
some people have slow internet and sometimes I need to figure out,
you know, if people are not able because they're driving or whatever.
Oh, very good for our new people.
I'm so sorry. Normally I kick us off and you all, I didn't pray yet.
So let me do that as well.
Before I send you into breakouts, breakouts,
basically we put you into a small room,
like a small group with three or four ladies,
and you're going to just all talk about the question that I gave you.
I would encourage any of you,
even if that's kind of like makes you sweat when you hear it,
you're nervous. You don't know these people.
God brought all of you here for a purpose for such a time as this.
And some of you all are going to be radically blessed by the people
that God puts you with in your room.
And so just even if you feel afraid,
I'm going to encourage you to do it afraid.
Hey, I'm going to encourage you to just open up and let people in.
This is part of coming out of hiding.
All right, Father, thank you so much for this night.
Thank you, God, for the word that Jackie released.
Thank you, God, for what you're stirring in the spirit realm.
I pray that even as the ladies go into the breakout session
that you would just really illuminate
anything that's in darkness that needs to be brought to the light.
God, that you would reveal areas for healing.
God, that you would just help them to recognize thoughts
that they need to come out of alignment with
that do not belong to the kingdom of heaven,
that did not come from your heart.
Even as that song, like you're looking down on us with love,
with love in your heart and your eyes towards us.
So anything that we've encountered in our lives,
trauma, wounds, fear, panic, dread, worry,
anything that is not of heaven,
that's still taking up residence in our hearts and our souls.
our bodies. I ask you just to continue to bring those things
to the surface that they would begin to just to even right now
some of them are feeling it bubbling in their in their
spirit and it's just going to start to bubble up. This is a
spirit led thing God that you do this work. It's not about us
digging. It's about you revealing it and allowing it to
come to the surface. So we thank you in advance father Jesus.
Thank you for dying on the cross for allowing your blood to
be shed for the forgiveness of our sins for our freedom for
our Liberty Holy Spirit. We thank you that you're here. We
invite you to come and have your way and Jesus name. Amen.
All right, so we're going to go ahead and do I'm going to do
nine minutes for you all you have three to four people in
your room. You're talking about what is the storyline you've
been telling yourself or the thought that you have happened
to think or think a lot however, you guys want to word it that
you need to come out of alignment with tonight and really
stop those thoughts at the gate. If you will, we're going to
start stopping that stuff at the gate before it comes in. All
right, here you go. Go ahead and click to join. We're praying
for you all.
Rachel I see you just so you know, I have to wait until they
stop bumping around and then I can put you in a room here.
There we go.
There you go. That should be up there for you.
All right, Bonnie, Melanie. I don't know if you guys are able
to click to join.
I did see a couple people saying they were not able to join
totally fine.
Okay.
Yeah, so Jen you guys just hang out here. If you can't go into
the breakout if you didn't figure that out already, sorry.
I'm just now seeing that.
Okay, I just need to check on everybody.
Okay, so let's see here. Everybody's got two people. I think
sorry ladies. Give me a sec and I'll just start checking in.
To pray.
For those of you that aren't able to go in the breakout. I
want to encourage you to put some stuff in the chat like that.
What's coming up in your spirit, so you can't go on breakout,
but let's let's bring that up and then you know, maybe I can
coach on that a little bit as well.
Father just thank you so much again for everything that you
are doing tonight.
God, thank you for the word released in due season through
Jackie the revelation that's coming from heaven that you would
help us to become your daughters who choose really wisely the
things that we hear and say and do even today.
I was interpreting a dream someone posted in the phase one
group and in their dream.
They were trying to get to another side of a school and their
purse and their keys were on the other side of the school and
in and they were trying to get to that and there was other
things that they encounter, but that's just coming up in my
spirit when I looked up like and really prayed about the keys
the keys that were in the purse.
The purse often can often represent our hearts all kinds of
stuff, but the keys in particular keys often represent wisdom
you all in Authority.
If you think about even like I know this is kind of like a
funny example, but even like a video game like typically the
higher the level, you know, you get these keys to go in to these
higher places, right?
And so I want to encourage you guys just to really be asking
the Holy Spirit what wisdom he wants to impart into you to take
you to the next place.
He wants you to go to all right Reimers.
And Lucy we are doing a breakout session right now on beware
of the stories you tell yourself.
So thoughts and reactions just want to remind anybody if you're
joining from phase two, we don't want to talk about any dating
stuff in here and just as a refresher.
I'm going to put you guys in a breakout though, so you can talk
with the ladies.
Those are coming your way.
All right, there you go.
Those are there for you to click on if you are able to join.
I'm sure they would love to have you in there.
So as we're talking about the keys and the wisdom, you know,
wisdom is in the book of Proverbs.
There's so much wisdom to be gained in there and there's a ton
of wisdom in the whole Bible in general, but Proverbs and James
are both known as books.
about wisdom and how to grow in wisdom. And from my experience, growing in wisdom and growing in the
understanding of the love of the father have been two very critical, vital things to my healing
process and to freedom that's come into my life. So just want to give that to you all as well.
Proverbs 18, 19 says, it is easier to conquer a strong city than to win back a friend whom you
have offended. Interesting. Cause Jackie, I didn't just kind of randomly pick this one out.
Their walls go up, making it nearly impossible to win them back. So Lord, we just pray even
right now, as Jackie was talking tonight about frenemies and people who get offended and all
that stuff. We know that, um, as Jackie has taught us offense is an opportunity for an upgrade. So
Lord, we just ask you if people are getting easily offended around us and it's causing us to be in
toxic environments when we're not doing anything wrong, I pray that you would give us wisdom to
know and discern that. But Lord, if we are getting easily offended by other people,
Lord, help us to know what the upgrade is. Help us to know what it is you're trying to teach us
and show us. And it doesn't mean we're doing something wrong, but oftentimes when we get
offended, it's because it's going into an area that is triggering something else in us. Sometimes
it is injustice that's been done to us. So there is that, but there are a lot of times where the,
where the Lord is saying that we don't have to choose that path. We don't have to choose to be
offended. We can choose the pathway of forgiveness. We can come out of alignment with roots of
bitterness. You all, it actually in the Bible talks about that. We should not desire to have
any root of bitterness, um, taking root in our hearts and our souls. And if we do, if we allow
that to take root, it can actually cause, um, you know, things to begin to spoil down in our spirit,
if you will. So Lord, we just thank you right now for revealings for healing in regards to
anybody that has offended us, uh, even in the last week, maybe even today, uh, in the last few months,
Lord, maybe it's been years ago, but anything that's being brought to the surface where we
have been offended because of things that people said or did, Lord, we just ask you to reveal any
area for healing. Help us to see, Lord, maybe what we couldn't see when that was happening.
What is your spirit saying? What is your spirit trying to lead us into? What is the higher path?
What is the greater way? And help us to walk in it, uh, tonight. Psalm 119, 165 in the Passion
Translation says this is, there is such a great peace and wellbeing that comes to the lovers of
your word and they will never be offended. How crazy. I really didn't know that was about offense
as well, but it's interesting. So I'm going to read it again. There is such a great peace and
wellbeing that comes to the lovers of your word and they will never be offended. Lord, we just
thank you, um, that you would help us to be daughters that would hunger and thirst for your
righteousness, for your word, that we would grow in the understanding of who you've called us to be,
that we would lay aside every weight that so easily ensnares us. And we would press on toward
the high calling of God for our lives, that we would literally choose to walk in those pathways
of righteousness for your namesake, Lord, that we would allow you to, to shine your glory into us
and through us in every situation. Do we need to be doormats? No, but Lord, I thank you that you
give us the, you give us the wisdom and discernment for the times we need to stand up for ourselves.
And you also give us the wisdom and discernment for the times that we need to just choose to walk
away and choose to forgive and choose to, um, walk in and be cloaked in love. And I just heard that
specifically in my spirit to be cloaked in love. Let's think about that. Let's even meditate on
that a little bit tonight. What does it look like to put on a jacket, if you will, that literally has,
you know, let's maybe we'll just say word, the word love all over it, but let's, let's look at
that from the perspective of putting on love. Like it's actually God himself putting on love, put on
joy, put on hope that we every day have a choice when we wake up myself included to put on the
armor of God, the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of the readiness of
the gospel of peace, the helmet of salvation, the shield of faith, the sword of the spirit.
But so often we start our days without that stuff, but in the same way, would we wake up and put on
love? Would we put on joy, even when we don't feel it, we can activate it. So just want you guys to
remember that it's not always about what we feel. We can't allow.
our feelings and our emotions to dictate our choices and our thoughts and our actions.
So we want to lead into truth. We want to walk in the fruits of the spirit, which are love, joy,
peace, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control. And I think forbearance is in there.
And I don't know if one of the other words that I said is forbearance, but that we would walk in
all the fruits of the Holy Spirit and that we would do what we can to cultivate those in our
lives through the choices that we make, the thoughts that we think, the words that we say.
You all, there's life and death in the power of the tongue and those who, what does the Bible say?
Something, I forget how it says it, but we eat the fruit of what we say. We eat the fruit of what we
think and what we say and the way we allow that to transform our lives. So I see everyone's coming
back. We have like 18 seconds. While you guys were in there, I was praying and just sharing things
God was putting on my heart. So you guys might want to go back and listen to those clips. You
can kind of, you know, go through that replay and catch that later, but I hope it'll be a blessing
to you if you were not, or if you were in that breakout session or you're catching this replay
tonight. Welcome back. We have everybody now who is willing to share with the whole group
what you shared in the private breakout. All right. Awesome. Nadine, go ahead.
Hi. Hi. Okay. I had a breakthrough on Friday. I was sharing with the group that I caught myself
speaking to myself aggressively and it was something quite silly. I, something, it wasn't
silly, but it wasn't major. And I was correcting myself in my first language and it was very, it
was in a very aggressive tone. And I stopped and I said, is this a voice of the Holy Spirit? And I
said, no. And then I said, it has a spirit attached itself to me. Who's speaking to me like that?
And I said, no, that is my voice. So that's something I'm dealing with. And that's something
that the Holy Spirit is dealing with me with, because what I'm realizing from that is that when
I get upset with people, I speak to them very, very aggressively. And I'm realizing that I don't
know how to speak to someone, even if I'm upset and not be aggressive and rude and like that.
The other thing I was telling the group is that I caught myself sometime ago saying,
nobody loves you. And I'm a very confident person. Like just out of nowhere, I hear a voice in my
head saying, nobody loves you. And, um, it was, I don't know if it was some months or some years
ago that I realized it, but I've never replaced it. I usually say, no, that's not true. God loves me,
but I've never replaced it with anything else or say, you know, maybe that is replacement.
I don't know. So that was what I shared with the group. That's my two cents.
I love this. This is so good. Okay. So a couple of things, um, first of all, thanks so much for
sharing. Um, when you get upset with people and speak to them aggressively, and this is something
that you've struggled with for a long time. The first thing I would look at for anyone that
struggles with this is a, when did this start? Like, when did this start for you? And I lost you
on my screen. Oh, there, there you are needed. Um, when did it start for you? So ask Holy spirit,
when's the first time I got upset and spoke to someone aggressively and what was happening and
why did I do that? Okay. Then I would also ask the Holy spirit, ask the Lord, you know,
cause their Trinity, their three in one, you all. So sometimes I say Lord, and sometimes I say Jesus.
And sometimes I say, Holy spirit, they are three separate, but they are three in one. So
they work together as a team. Um, but I would also ask, you know, was this something that you learned?
Cause as soon as you started talking about it, um, I, I really believe that this is something
that you saw happening and also something that's been done to you, which is now why it's, it's like
a habit, right? And so you're going to have to learn how to retrain that part of your brain.
If you will, uh, there's a lot of studies on our brain and retraining our brain and new grooves
that can grow. Y'all, if we think on negative things, it can actually damage our brains.
No joke. Y'all can look it up. But if we think on positive things, it creates all these, like,
I don't know the scientific terms. And it's been a little while since I read in this book,
but basically lots of positive things happening up there that start like basically causing your
brain to heal and grow and new cells and all kinds of stuff. So think about that. The next
time you're allowing yourself to.
just be super negative. And I'm not saying we can't have bad days. Okay. We all have bad days,
but what are we saying to ourselves? How are we thinking? What are we doing? Like,
how are we acting and all of that? Okay. So want to encourage you on that, Nadine. And on the
second one, nobody loves you. I love that you are recognizing. I feel like I keep hearing a voice.
Sorry, y'all. Is someone unmuted? Okay. If you're unmuted, can you just mute for me?
Have to replace that lie that you were hearing. Sometimes you all, the enemy is really sneaky,
and he will speak very subtly, but it'll be very direct. Okay. So like when she heard that,
the enemy was speaking to her and trying to get her to believe that nobody loves her.
And that's like, it was a direct thing. Nobody loves you. And so her sitting and processing,
wait a minute, like this isn't mine. I know God loves me, but now she's got to take it to that
next step. So what I would do is encourage you to look up a couple of scriptures on,
you know, just being really like rooted and grounded, being in God's family, being loved,
anything of that nature, God's love for you. And really just allow the Lord to show you which ones
speak to you the most. And I would encourage anybody when you're doing this, replacing
the lies with the truth. You want to really let the Lord highlight the scripture to you.
That's going to transform you. Okay. They're all going to be powerful and they're all going to
bless you, but which one is going to help you really get the breakthrough to replace that lie.
And those are the ones that I would then encourage you to write out, put those suckers up. I'm a big,
you guys, if you've ever come, came in my house, my husband's family was just here recently and
his sister, I noticed she was looking at my little post-its on my cupboards. And I'm like, yeah,
those are my little reminders when God is speaking to me about something and I don't want to forget
about it. I want to meditate on that. I'll write it on a post-it note or an index card. And I put
that sucker up where I can see it. So one of mine right now is, is this my best? Yes. Or is this just
a good? Yes. I know that's not the same, but like as far as looking and replacing, but I'm, I want
to every single day, give my best. Yes. So for you, what is it that you need to do and lean into
that truth that you are loved, that you're adored, that you're wanted, that you're chosen,
you know, whatever the thing is for you all. Okay. Let's go to Stephanie. I think. Yeah. Stephanie.
I had a bit of a breakthrough the other night. I was sure that nobody could ever help me get over
what I did 20 years ago. And I have prayed about it so many times and I've tried to forgive myself
so many times. And I finally said, okay, Holy Spirit, is there a lie that I'm believing
that's keeping me from this? And it didn't take me too long just to write down.
I think I'm unforgivable. And I just sat there and bawled for about 15 minutes. And then I wrote
down the truth. And that is, I'm, I'm already forgiven. And that was such a huge breakthrough
for me. It might not sound like a lot, but this has been ongoing for probably 20 years and my
kids are part of it. And but no matter what they think at this point, I know that I'm forgiven. So
that's so good to hear that. It is powerful. It is powerful. You all never underestimate your story
and who it's impacting as you're sharing it on this session or in the replay. You know, people
are going to watch this for weeks to come. And so God bless you. Thank you so much, Stephanie,
for sharing. You know, on the flip side of that too, I really want to encourage you to ask the
Lord to show you what it looks like to live the forgiven life. Okay. Cause you know, the truth now,
you know, I feel the Holy Spirit on that for you. You know, the truth now that you are forgiven,
but what does it look like to live free? What's it look like? What's it feel like,
you know, you might even want to dream a little bit looking on, you know not Instagram, but like
on Google and just start searching. You know what I would normally do is I would search the word
freedom or living free. And I would look for images that really resonate. I'm a visual person.
You also, I love to do things visually. But like, again, if there's something that jumps
out and speaks at you, I would just put that up and let that continue to minister to your spirit.
Yeah, man. What's it look, what's it feel like and look like?
like to live free.
Isn't God so good, you all?
He's so good.
He's so creative in how he speaks to us.
Thank you, Stephanie.
Go ahead, Renee.
Thank you, Bethany.
You're welcome.
Renee, do you wanna share?
I do.
So mine is, I have a lot of friends
that are super successful.
And like in our group, I was telling them,
they work at the CIA, the FBI, the NIH,
super successful in their jobs,
have kids, work in foundations,
spoken in front of Congress, and then there's me.
And I am like, the mantra that's been going on
in my head lately is that I've missed the mark,
that I'm late to the party.
Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.
Somehow I've missed the opportunity
that God had for me in my life.
And I find it really hard to adjust to that.
But I read a quote this week that was really,
it was a short one.
And it just said, you are the perfect person
at the wrong address.
And it really resonated with me.
Like, it hasn't been me that's been the problem.
I've just been in the wrong place for so long.
And so it was God just reminding me
that it's just where you are right now.
It doesn't mean that you're wrong.
It's just where you are right now.
And that really encouraged me this week.
Yes, that's so good.
And I think I remember even responding to that post.
And one of the things I wanna share too,
because I think this will help other people as well, Renee,
is that you all sometimes too,
the wrong address is because we're living
into counterfeit identities.
When we're not living in the true identity
that God gave us when he created us,
we're living into counterfeit identities
because of trauma and unhealed wounds.
You know, even today someone shared,
it makes me think of this,
I'm like kind of bouncing around,
but they've been in the group for a couple of weeks
and they just did their introduction post.
And, you know, coming out of hiding you all is a big deal.
Allowing yourself to be seen,
introducing yourself, taking that leap,
you know, that's a big deal.
And some of you still need to do that.
Why, why does that even matter?
Well, because you're practicing for showing up more
in your life outside of here too.
Some of you have faded into isolation
and you've told yourself the lie,
this came up on the first session.
And so I'm just gonna go with it
because I feel like it applies tonight as well.
You've told yourself the lie
that you're just better off alone.
You're better off alone.
And life is just easier without having to worry
about anybody else or upsetting people
or whatever storyline you've kind of aligned with.
And it's kind of like what Jackie was saying earlier.
She said that the thought that she was catching
is it doesn't matter, I didn't want that anyway.
And some of us have gone into hiding in such a way
that we tell ourselves that,
well, I didn't wanna hang out with anybody anyway.
I don't, I'm a homebody.
I don't, and some of us, again, reality,
some of us do like, you know,
we prefer that invert, like extrovert, introverted.
We like time alone,
but some of us get out of balance, right?
With it where we're just home way too much
and staying inside of our houses.
Back in the day, I mean, we played outside all the time
and we interacted with our neighbors
and we talked to people and now myself included,
I have so much stuff delivered you all where we live,
but we don't have a lot of stores by us.
But like, for real, like if I don't go outside
and go to places, I literally could work every day
because I work from home, from my computer.
I have stuff delivered to me.
I literally, for the most part, don't have to go anywhere,
but I need to because I need to be around people.
And so do you, each one of you, okay?
So on that note, I don't know how I got over to that Renee,
but I wanna circle back.
I've missed the mark.
I wanna encourage you to ask the Lord where,
again, where did that start for you?
When was the first time you aligned with the lie
that you missed the mark?
And that you, what I'm hearing in the Holy Spirit
is that you weren't good enough.
You know, the comparison trap.
that you've gotten into is everybody's successful but me.
And you could you said, and then there's me. So what's so wrong
with you? That's my question for you. What's wrong with there?
There's nothing. But let's start to ask God to show you who you
are in the greatness inside of you. And and start to really let
him unpack what like, what are the gifts and the abilities in
you? And who are you? And who does he want you to become in
this healing process? Because while you in the past believed
that you missed the mark, I feel like God is setting you up for
something really special in the future. Does it have to look
like all your friends? No. You're sometimes the most
powerful people are the people that love people one person at a
time. Right? They're not always the people that go out and do
these, you know, high, you know, really well known jobs and in
all this place. Like, I'm not minimizing that. I think that's
great. But we get into this. Well, that's greater than
anything I could ever do. But where did that start? Because I
don't think that's the voice of heaven. Right? So where did that
start for us? And as you ask the Lord, just see what he just see
what he shows you there. Because when you get to the root of
where that began, then you can ask him to heal that area. And
that's going to help you. I'm like, I'm hearing the word
springboard. Like, I feel like it's going to be a springboard
for you into something new. So bless you. Thank you for
sharing. Let's see here. I have a couple more ladies and then
we're gonna have to switch to the next content. Laura, go
ahead.
Okay, um, yeah, it really affected me when Jackie was
talking about listening to true crime podcasts, because like, I
got addicted to that, like a few years ago. And like, I listened
to that pretty much like every day. But then also, yeah, I got
divorced six years ago, and I found out five years into our
marriage that the ex was like addicted to porn. And that was
like a huge issue in our marriage for like many years. So
yeah, my thing is, like, I'll never be able to find a man that
I can trust again, or who will be like, honest and transparent
with me. And then also, yeah, I am better off alone, because I
have been alone, like these past six years, or even seven, since
like, I filed for divorce, and then he moved out in 2017. So,
yeah, that like, in my mind, I'm like, oh, I don't have to deal
with like his whatever, like, issues, or if he has issues, or
just Yeah.
So one of the things to think of here, okay, so on this note,
ladies, we have to start telling ourselves a different story. So
I know that that is the prior story. I know you've been doing
a lot of healing, Lauren, it's been so powerful to watch you
walk this journey. And when I say tell yourself a different
story, it's not it's not acting like that stuff didn't happen,
because it did. But what Jackie is saying is very true, we will
watch these shows to figure out how to not only I think, even
beyond protecting our own selves, we also try to then
protect other people from it. But you all then it's like, it
starts to surround us, right? Because then we're so focused on
the negative, and the things that are not good. And we just
don't realize and it doesn't mean you have to just completely
stop. I mean, you have to ask the Holy Spirit on that, Laura.
But I definitely can tell you that the times that God has
asked me to stop watching a show or stop listening to something,
and it's definitely served me really well, when I've shifted
that and spent more time reading the word or listening to
something that's positive, instead. And then it also
impacts what I started attracting into my life as well.
It's kind of it's pretty interesting. And so with what
you found out, I would just encourage you to ask the Lord,
like, what's the flip side of, you'll never find anybody good?
What's the flip side of that? What's the script that you need
to flip there? And I would say something like, you know, there
are men that love the Lord who are trustworthy. And Father, I
believe that you're going to draw a healthy spirit mate to
me. And you're going to help me to be drawn to a healthy spirit
mate as well. And starts like literally not like it, we have
to take it the whole way. So not only are we believing that, but
we're writing it out, we're saying it, and we're repeating
it. And we're
lining our spirit with that.
And we're saying anytime that negative stuff comes back up
that we can't find anybody good
and I'll never be able to trust anybody ever again.
And I'm just better off not loving and risking
because I might just have the whole same thing happen again.
Y'all, I went through multiple relationships,
three in a row where similar things happen.
Do you think I wasn't afraid to love and risk?
Absolutely, I was.
But here's the thing,
when I went through the heart work and the mentorship
and all this stuff before that,
when I came into this community, this program,
God really just started speaking to me
about like being different now.
When you are healing and you're changing,
you aren't the same person that you were before.
And I say this all the time,
you aren't the same person you were yesterday
and tomorrow you're not gonna be the same as you were today.
And so if we are becoming something different,
why do we still believe we're gonna attract
the same thing that we did before?
Where's that coming from for us?
So just allowing the Lord to show us that
so that we can unpack that.
And again, there's no shame in it, you all.
I've had those thoughts too,
but when I allowed God to help me be honest with myself
and look at that stuff and take that to him
and ask him to change it.
Y'all, I was like walking around my apartment,
like I am a bride.
Bethany, I was Bethany Stanko back then.
Bethany Stanko is a bride.
God just started talking to me about like,
I needed to declare a thing.
I needed, so I prayed all the time,
God, thank you so much that you're gonna send healthy men
my way when I started in the dating stuff.
You're gonna send healthy men my way
and you're gonna protect me from the unhealthy men.
You're gonna help me to recognize someone
and I'm not gonna blow past red flags anymore.
I'm gonna recognize them
and I'm gonna also recognize green flags.
Praise Jesus, I'm going to be different this time
and attract somebody different this time.
Like it truly is, like we have to turn away
from all the fear-filled thoughts
that are over here in the past.
And as your heart heals, you're gonna be able,
like every time your heart heals a little bit more,
you're gonna be able to kind of shift a little bit more
and shift a little bit more and shift.
And before long, you're going to be walking
in an entirely different direction if you allow yourself.
Yeah, so just keep aligning with the truth, Laura.
You're on a great path, you're making so much progress.
So just keep aligning with the truth
because God is doing a work in your life
and something good is on the way.
It is, yeah, you're welcome.
All right, Lorraine, go ahead.
Okay, yeah, there were two of us
and we both basically said quite a bit
of the same concern that we have
is being afraid of if things work out.
What happens if things work out?
And I know for me, there's been what I call
like a string of pearls.
Jackie called it the complex PTSD.
And I've been alive on the earth for so long
that when I start to get a healing,
I've been here too long and I managed to mess it up.
And then it becomes complicated
because now I don't have one thing.
It's the multiplication going in the wrong direction.
And so I call it like,
I've heard somebody say a string of pearls.
So, and that's what it is.
It's like one thing after another
and to be so accustomed to that.
Cause I think about how would I actually ever be able
to be around a healthy man
because I've never had that my whole life, bar of Jesus.
And then I believe I have a really good son,
but my growing years, my married life,
just wasn't there.
And I'm so glad to be in this group
because I could never do this alone.
I would have just said, okay, I shut down
and I'll just live my life out however it goes.
And I really don't wanna do that.
I've had too many encounters with the real living God
and I know he has better things.
So just what you were saying, Bethany,
is I'm gonna start changing the things that I speak.
And I believe my mind is also going to start,
following that and thinking on those things
which are good and lovely and just and pure
and all of that.
I've gotten so far away from it.
Um, so that's where I stood tonight.
It's like, okay, I don't know if I could actually, you know, um, allow
someone healthy to come in my life.
Cause I just don't see myself there.
So I'm going to say, say two things and then I'm going to come to Jen.
Um, I want to plant a seed in that place of thought that you're having.
So when you were talking, I wrote down two phrases, learn it and patient man.
Um, but also the other thought I had is that how that can
happen, Lorraine is supernatural.
Um, the great physician, there's nothing too hard for him, you all.
And I know that it takes time and healing takes time, but sometimes he does a
supernatural work as well.
And so I want to encourage you to not count yourself out.
Um, uh, Anna put in the chat as well, string of pearls dot, dot,
dot string of blessings, 100%.
So it's again, flipping that script, but I wanted to plant
that seed about a patient man.
How can you be in a healthy relationship after you've been through what you've
been through and you've had all these years and now you're in this place.
Well, because God can equip a healthy man with patience and love and kindness
and goodness that, that really, man, it smells like the fragrance of heaven.
I know some of you cannot even believe that is possible, but
I'm telling you I'm married to it.
I am married to it.
Therefore I know it to be possible and true.
So for those of you that feel like you've been broken too much, you're hurt too
much, you're, you're terrified to even tell your future spirit mate, some of
the stuff you've been through, just disclaimer, you don't, you want to be
forthcoming, but you don't have to tell them every detail you all.
Okay.
Ask the Holy spirit, what you really need to share.
Cause you know what?
Sometimes some of that stuff can actually do more harm than good.
So one of the things the Lord led me to ask Brian was how much do
you want to know about my past?
And he said, well, I know you now, so let's just work from now forward.
And then we kind of took it from there, what we felt led to share.
So again, just know that God can prepare that spirit mate for you to be equipped
with what is needed, just like God is now equipping you and healing you
for your spirit mate as well.
They might have some of the same fears you all have.
Okay.
Grace, grace, grace abounding unto all of you.
Okay.
I know that Sherry, you put your hand up as well.
I am going to go into content right after Jen, but if we have time to circle
back, you can, you can share when we come back after that.
Okay.
Go ahead, Jen.
I think he's trying to help her unmute it there.
We might, Oh, there she is.
So if you, if you tap on the bottom of the screen, you'll see the microphone.
You'll see the microphone show up.
Yeah, I found it.
I come out switch.
Like I pressed something and it was on a different screen and I
want to pull up that microphone.
Um, that was my son.
Um, so one of the things that I was, um, fan in, um, my session was I, uh,
struggle a lot with, I think similar.
Um, what has been said tonight is a feeling of not being worthy.
Um, and like, um, not being pretty, not being able to take
compliments, like that kind of thing.
Um, like, and something that came up on my Facebook page, my niece had posted
that, and that was just like, Oh, wow.
Um, it was talking about like, showed like an image of a woman looking in a
mirror and saying like, I feel so ugly now.
And then like her child saying, mama, everyone says I look just like you.
And so like thinking that, and it was just like, Oh wow.
That just hit different.
You know, it hit, hit, hit, struck a nerve, I guess.
Um, but.
just learning how to feel worthy again and a lot of what you, I think what you said about
like a patient man being fearful because I'm a widow. I've been, I lost my husband three
years ago to suicide. So I think a lot of, I mean, I have like past issues, like children
issues and stuff too, but like our childhood issues, but I think a lot of that feeling of
unworthiness and not being able to trust again and finding someone. So having that patient man,
you know, that, that really spoke to me. And just, I guess, just learning how to feel worthy again
and stop those thoughts. Jen, thank you so much for sharing. I'm so sorry. First, let me say to
hear about what you have gone through and the trauma and the loss and all of the lies that
enter in when you go through a trauma like that. The second thing is that, you know, last week's
session, if you guys, for those of you that just came in new brand new, we did it last week.
I dealt a lot with body issues and body shame in part of that, that recording. So you may want
to go and take a listen to that one. I have a feeling it's going to really minister to you.
That image was powerful, what you said. And a lot of us need to kind of think about that, you know,
what she said. I mean, we're looking at ourselves and picking ourselves apart and her kids are like,
but people say, I look like you and we're not thinking, but I feel like God is highlighting
that to you because he's trying to tell you that you're beautiful through that post. And that's
how other people see you. But for some reason, that's not how you're seeing yourself. So when
did you first start not thinking you were beautiful or that you weren't enough or that
you weren't worthy? Was it just, was it not just, but was it when that happened with your
husband, your, your former husband, or did some of those things start before that time where,
you know, there was a, what I'm hearing, my spirit is like a slow doll, like a slow fade,
a slow doll kind of transition from feeling lovely you all. Cause even my, my first husband,
I mean, I felt lovely for a while, little while, really little while, but it did, it was there,
but then it was just kind of like, it just faded and faded and faded. And so
you know, just really asking the Lord when, when was the first time I believe the lie that I was
not beautiful, that I was not worthy of love and see where he leads you on that trail, because
getting to the root of the matter, ladies is key. And I don't want that to stress you out.
Cause some of you guys are like, I don't know if this is the route. I don't know if this is the
route. All you have to do is trust that whatever the word brings up then is what you need to know.
And that moment. And then if there's other things that he wants to reveal to you about that,
that might be further in a deeper route, he will reveal those in due season as well. Okay. So
that's where the leaning into the supernatural surrender and trusting the Holy spirit to reveal
the things that are necessary is so key to your healing process. You all, we should never want
to depend on ourselves. So father, help us to come out of alignment with independence and come
into alignment with interdependence on you, you know, where we depend on him too. He's the vine
where the branches, he feeds our soul. So when we believe things like we're not beautiful or we're
not worthy, well, then we need to feed our soul with the truth. What does the truth say? The
truth says that you Jen and Stephanie and Pam and Jesse and Elizabeth and everybody on here,
your worth is far above rubies to me. I mean, I'd have to study it out more. It's been a while
since I did a, you know, Greek and Hebrew, whatever study on that. But I would imagine
that that's kind of an abundant amount.
It's abundant. You are worth more than all of that. And that's what the father's truth says
over you. But, you know, again, hearing it and reading it in scripture and really getting it
down in your knower, in your heart really good.
is a whole different story. So that comes through the heart healing and trauma being removed.
Okay, so that's why this process is so important. Jen, thank you for sharing your story.
I just want to share a couple things you all tonight before we close up. Again, I had some
other stuff planned, but I really am thankful that tonight went where it went. It goes in
alignment with the Jesus Cares Board. If you guys have not done a Jesus Cares Board yet,
if you're in even week five, and you have not done your Jesus Cares Board yet, you all,
what are you waiting for? I'm going to be a little tiny baby amount hard on you. Let's do them.
Because here's the thing, someone shared today in the first breakout session, and I'm not picking
on her, but it was really insightful. She said, I haven't done it yet. She's been writing notes
of what she wants to put on the board, but several of the things are really big,
is how she said it. And she has a lot of fear around, will God actually work on these things?
And so in her own way, not putting them on the board is protecting herself.
Do you all see what we do? We procrastinate something like a Jesus Cares Board,
because if we admit that we need God's help in this thing, Jesus, I need your help.
It's admitting that we cannot control that thing and that we need someone else's help to do it.
Jesus, right? So that's a big deal for some people, but also what if, what if he doesn't do it?
But here's the flip side, you all, what if he does? What if he does? You guys,
I really want to encourage you to get a hold of that. What if he does? What if,
what if literally you guys put things on the board and you start to see changes happening?
They're not all going to happen like that, but I'm telling you what, when I put some things on my board,
I started seeing some stuff changing in those situations. And I started experiencing financial
change and healing things that needed to happen. And I started experiencing changes in my body
images, issues. You all, I used to love to go to the beach as a kid and then got in, you know,
gave my life to the Lord, got into like, you know, and had all the abuse in the background that
wasn't healed, came into the church and blessed the people that were in my church. But, you know,
they didn't believe in wearing bikinis. So there was that. And it was kind of emphasized in my mind,
like, if I go and I look too cute in this bathing suit, it's my fault if a guy sins.
And so it was like the flip side, religion, literally, I was so afraid to do anything.
And therefore I quit going to beaches. I quit wearing bathing suits. And it just became a big
old thing. You all I'm serious. It's been a, someone was sharing earlier when it's a long
journey. It might sound like when I'm describing it to you that when I have been breaking free from
that, it just sounds like a little bit of a story to you all, but it's been a 20 year journey for me
to break free from that stuff so that I can actually go out on the beach again and not
feel like who's looking at me. Like, am I causing anybody to think anything bad?
I'm like free of that stuff. Y'all it's incredible. I don't know how I got off on that,
but maybe somebody needed that tonight. I did not plan on saying that, but oh, I know why I put that
on my Jesus cares board. It's still there because I'm on my way and I've gotten a lot of breakthrough,
but there's some things I'm still working on regarding that. Okay. Put things on there,
big, small, whatever they are. You want to put them on your board. You guys,
if you go into the photo section and you're in the Facebook page, you can see people that have
done the Jesus cares board. There's all different kinds of them. The point isn't how crafty you can
be. If you want to be crafty, be crafty. But if you just want to do it and move forward, which is
what's most important, you can literally do some post-its and stick them on your wall or your door
or get a board that you put them on whatever you need to do so that you can move forward. And then
you can always add, you know, it to look prettier and all the things. Okay. So Jesus cares board.
What is it about? It's not a vision board. It's about you taking the things that keep you up at
night, the worries, the fears, the concerns that are weighing you down. And you're casting those
on to Jesus.
as an activation.
You're activating that when you put it on the board
and you're saying, Jesus, I cannot change the situation
and I need to let this go
and I need to cast this care onto you
because the Bible says what?
Because he cares for us.
And y'all guess what?
He cares about those cares that you care about as well.
Some of y'all aren't sure that God's gonna come through
for your kid that's addicted to some stuff.
And I'm telling you what, God, I have a stepson
that has been battling alcohol addiction.
God cares about him more than I do.
Oh, yes, Lord.
God cares about your kids more than you do.
So let's let him work in those situations and do some stuff.
Some of us need to get out of the way, right?
I won't step too far into that tonight.
Praise Jesus, God knows what we need too.
So he'll help us as a helicopter parents and control freaks
and all of those things, he'll help us learn how to let go.
Okay, so I wanted to also touch on really quick,
God defended, what is being God defended look like?
What does it sound like?
As you guys start to lean into being God defended
in your lives, in your situations,
it's asking God to show you all the ways that all along,
he's always been trustworthy.
So if you start asking him to show you,
God, how did you defend me in the past
when I didn't recognize it?
When I didn't know that you were protecting me,
what are some things that you did
that protected me along the way?
Y'all, that's something I ask God.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
Let's ask him, God, show me.
Show me where you were showing up for me
and I did not know you were there.
Jesus met the two men on the road to Emmaus
and he was talking to them and walking with them
and they did not even recognize him and that's okay.
But guess what?
He was still there, wasn't he?
He was there and he was walking among them
and even their hearts burned within them,
but they just didn't know at the time it was Jesus.
Along the way, some of you didn't know.
Yes, Lord.
You didn't know Jesus was walking right next to you.
You didn't know.
I did a heartwork session with someone this week,
you all, like a one-on-one
and you all, please don't ask for those in phase one.
I don't do that many of them.
Jackie has strict rules on that right now
just because I'm doing so many other things for the movement
but the point is I asked the Lord to show her
where Jesus was at when she was going through
this traumatic thing as a little kid, as a little girl
and he showed her.
He showed her where he was
and it's helping her to break free.
You all, some of us need to ask Jesus,
Jesus, where were you?
Your word tells me that you were there.
Can you reveal yourself to me when this situation happened?
And what do you want me to know about it?
What do you want to tell me about your heart for me
in this situation?
And see what he shows you.
And I know that might be a stretch for some of you
but he will start to show you.
He will start to show you, he will speak to you.
Some of you guys will see one image
and that's the beginning of hearing
what he's trying to tell you.
So even I kind of, my eyes went back to Jen.
Jen, even when that happened with your husband
when he committed suicide,
I would encourage you to ask Jesus where he was.
When you found out or however that unfolded,
Jesus, where were you when this happened?
What was your heart for me in that moment
and what do you want me to know about it?
And ladies, all of you, I wanna encourage you.
If you have something you're really struggling
to break free from and break through,
man, that's the way to go.
You need Jesus to speak the truth.
He's the one, he's the way, the truth and the life.
No one comes to the father except through him.
You all, the truth, he's the truth.
He's the one that wants to speak the truth into us
and he's waiting.
But if you all remember,
he stands at the door of our hearts and he knocks.
He won't force his way in.
He's waiting for the invitation.
He's a gentleman.
Some of you have never been treated
by men like you haven't seen a gentleman.
And so some of you, it's hard, excuse me,
for you to believe that God and
Jesus and Holy Spirit are gentlemen,
that they won't force their way on you.
They won't force their way on other people either.
And that's why somebody asked the question,
why is it's hard to get over?
Why is there bad stuff in the world?
Well, because God gave everyone in his amazing,
infinite love, he gave everyone the free will to choose.
Some people choose unhealthy things
and some people choose really great things.
But he loves everybody enough to give us the choice.
And so he's giving you the choice to open your heart
and allow him to come into these tender places
and heal and restore and redeem
and rebuild you from the inside out.
He's so good, you all, he's so good.
So God, where do I need to trust you
a little bit more tonight?
Where have I struggled to believe that you defend me
and you protect me?
And where did that lie enter my life?
And he'll show you.
I'm gonna let Sherry go just because we have one
and then I'll close us out for the night.
Sherry, go ahead.
Okay, so in our group, there was just two of us in there.
I think mine was, I'm not smart enough, I'll never succeed.
Even in previous times dating,
if I found someone that I thought was better than me,
I would not even attempt to go with that one
because that seems like that's not gonna work
because I'm not gonna be good enough.
Hey, so I would encourage you to ask the Lord
who set the bar for that.
You know what I'm saying?
Who's informing you on who's too good for you?
So sometimes too, ladies,
it's because we don't like ourselves, right?
I did a lesson a while back on in the church,
in the body of Christ,
we're taught we have to love everybody
and we learn to love ourselves, right?
But so many of us don't even like ourselves.
We don't like what we see in the mirror.
We don't like things about ourselves.
We pick ourselves apart,
kind of like what we're talking about tonight,
all these thoughts that we have that are not of the kingdom,
they're not from heaven.
But because we think on these things a lot,
it then informs the way we think
about who we believe we're good enough for.
So I would encourage you to really ask yourself,
when's the first time you didn't like yourself and why?
And really asking God to reveal to you
your identity in Christ.
Like, who are you really?
And who does God wanna help you become?
You all, I used to pray all the time,
God, help me to become more secure and confident in you.
Help me to know who I am in you, Lord.
Because when I didn't know who I was in him,
I put up with a guy who cheated on me
over and over and over again.
What in the world?
I still think back on that.
Like what?
It's because deep down,
the wounds that were not healed were informing my decisions.
And it was telling me,
I mean, there's a lot going on in that situation,
but it was telling me that I wasn't worth more,
which absolutely is not true.
And I have been saved long enough to know better.
My mind knew better,
but the wounds in my heart
were still informing me differently.
Does that make sense, everyone?
And then the whole love bombing and all kinds of stuff.
So there was just a lot of entanglement there.
So you guys, there's webs, if you will,
that we need to come out from under
and that cleansing that comes,
which the Bible talks about being transformed
by the renewing of our minds
so that all the old things will pass away
and behold, everything will become new.
Well, the transforming of our minds,
as Jackie has talked about,
it's actually the transforming of our hearts.
And the transforming of our hearts
is what enables the truth to come
and all those old things to pass away
and for us to be transformed from the inside out.
So as you lean into who are you in Christ, God,
show me who you want me to be.
Show me who I am in you.
Help me to know the truth about
how you see me and really continue to align with those things.
And I think that you're going to start to believe differently in the
days ahead about like, what is your worth? And, you know,
even again, who sets the bar,
who sets the bar there and allow God to be the one that sets that bar,
because he has good things in store for all of you. All right.
All right. Our heart's clear. Mine's clear. Everyone good.
I feel like this was really good tonight. Sometimes it's a little more low key,
but God's doing some stuff. He's stirring in hearts.
I want to pray for you as I start to close. Father,
thank you so much for, you know, just continuing to be here with us.
God, you are omnipresent. You're majestic. You're mighty.
You're the creator of heaven and earth and,
and you come and you spend time with your daughters.
And I just thank you for that.
I thank you for revealing for healings that are happening. God.
I thank you for yes, Lord. I thank you for minds being renewed.
Even right now, as I'm praying, God,
that people will supernaturally experience transformation.
I pray that as they sleep tonight, that they would have sale arrest,
God, that you would remove anxiety and fear and panic,
and you would bring peace, hope in life,
that you would do supernatural surgery in,
in the OR of their, their dream state.
And I thank you for in advance, Lord,
I thank you that you're going to start to show them and awaken within them,
the good that you have in store for them.
I pray that you would go and knock on the door of their hearts where you need
and want them to open so that you can lead them into the abundant life that you
have for them. But it begins with a, yes, Lord,
you can come in to this, this place of hurt, this place of trauma,
and you can heal this area so that I can move forward. So, Lord,
we thank you that you'll help us to take down the do not enter signs off of our
hearts. And that will give you permission to enter in,
help us to surrender all of these areas supernaturally to you and to trust that
you are working.
You're working in ways beyond anything we could ever ask, think,
or imagine. And even when we don't know it, you're working, you,
you never slumber, you never sleep. You never grow tired or weary, but God,
you're always keeping your eyes on us. You're looking out for us.
You're protecting us,
help us understand and see and recognize more in the days ahead,
all the ways that you've been defending us and protecting us all along,
but we misunderstood or we believed a lie that told us something different,
help us to see the truth, help us to know the truth,
to align our hearts with the truth and to partner with you in this healing
process. And we believe all these things in Jesus name.
God bless you all. We love you. We'll see you guys again. I saw, Oh,
I saw someone, uh, Diane, I think,
or Diane put in there about next Monday. It is Memorial day.
Y'all I'm not a hundred percent sure what Jackie wants to do. I need to ask her.
So just be watching the Facebook page. Typically we've,
we've done for sure the 8pm, but I'm not sure.
So I'll confirm that and we'll put a post up in the group.
So definitely check the Facebook group. So you know what we're doing next Monday.
Okay. God bless you all. Have an amazing night. Bye.