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Okay, welcome guys.

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I'm so excited to get to share with you the divine masculine and divine feminine teaching.

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I think this is a really great topic because I feel like the secular world has had a lot

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to say about what it means to be divinely masculine and divinely feminine, and it's

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gotten a lot of hippy dippy woo woo stuff going around with it.

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I loved Jackie's teaching on this so long ago, and then I took notes on it because it

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was so good, and then she had me start teaching it when she wasn't around, or at least now

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talking more about it because I think it's such a strong topic.

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You guys are going to not only learn about masculine, but you're going to learn about

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the feminine side too, which is so good because you might be like, oh my gosh, this is the

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holy grail of information that I've been looking for.

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Now I think I'll maybe understand women.

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There's a little part in the beginning, I would love your open feedback, and definitely

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the whole way through.

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Make sure that you ask questions, give your thoughts.

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Mike, I know you will.

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You can't help yourself, but I'm just kidding, I'm just messing with you.

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I will be happy to put these notes up on your page so you have them, the handy dandy little

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mixture of notes on there so you don't have to furiously write, but it would be great

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for you to do so.

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And Hunter, out of all of the men, I appreciate that I get to see your face because it's really

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hard talking to four names, or six names, and Ty's like, I'm back, I'm back.

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Okay.

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Father God, I just have to be with us tonight that anything I say tonight may be only holy

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spirit driven, and whatever I'm supposed to say, let me say it.

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Whatever I'm supposed to forget to say, let me forget it.

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And Father God, just let the men just receive with open arms and open hearts and open ears,

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and contribute to the conversation so that we can just continue to bring unity in the

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community.

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In Jesus name, amen.

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Okay.

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So I'm so excited about this.

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So when Jackie first talked about it, she had us go all the way back to the Garden of

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Eden when God first created man and women.

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So first, obviously he created man, and I love that he created man, and he waited until

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man named all of the animals, right?

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Could you imagine how long that must have taken?

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I don't know.

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That was a long time.

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And how did he come up with stuff?

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And then he decided that man should not be alone.

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And what I love about that, you guys, the fact that God alone in the Trinity, and I

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don't know if you guys knew this, you probably did, but I grew up with a denomination.

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I just kind of believed that God existed first, then Jesus existed when he was born, and then

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of course he lived in heaven with God afterwards.

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And somewhere in there, the Holy Spirit showed up, but he only showed up here and there in

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the Old Testament, really didn't show up for good until he came for us to help us.

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And so like, I never really understood the Trinity in its fullest nature, and I never

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understood how the Trinity always preexisted.

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Like God, and I've heard so many analogies of God, Father, I mean, God, Son, and Holy

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Spirit, ice, water, mother, daughter, sister, like I've heard all the terms, but I think

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all of them just kind of pale because God is God and he's not human, and we just try

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hard.

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We just try, we try to put God in a box.

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But we know that, you know, God danced, you know, the Greek term is perikiosis, and it

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talks about the dance of the Trinity, that there's no one taking the front stage more

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than the other person.

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So it's not like God, Son, Spirit, but it's like this, it's just constantly rotating.

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And I think by the fact that he put Adam to sleep and he said, gosh, even Adam shouldn't

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be alone.

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I'm not alone, and I'm God.

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And so Adam's not gonna be alone, and he pulled a rib from his side.

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And so I love that the intention right from the get-go is supposed to be this partnership

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with one another.

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And I suspect he wanted the same kind of dance with divine masculine and feminine that he

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does with the Trinity, that there are times that the divine masculine shines, and that

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there are times that the divine feminine shines.

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And it doesn't mean it's this hierarchy, but it's more like a circle, and a circle of this

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dancing kind of rotation.

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Of course, you know, Adam did have this original role of being her protector and her provider

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in the beginning.

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And Eve had an original role too.

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She is actually called the Easer, and the Easer is represented.

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It is mentioned 19 times in scripture.

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The only other time,

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every other time that Ezer is mentioned,

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it's in description of the Holy Spirit.

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And so it is meant to be the warrior.

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So, you know,

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our English translation has just destroyed it.

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Like we're the helper, we're the help mate.

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And it's like, you just think like, you know,

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Batman and Robin, like you just think the sloppy sidekick,

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you know, picking up the slack.

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And so there was a really supposed to be

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this divine masculine provider protector

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with this divine feminine,

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which was warrior and help mate.

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So this great partnership,

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it was probably supposed to dance.

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And along comes the serpent.

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And, you know, I always grew up believing that

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Eve was like alone with the serpent,

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was like somewhere tilling the ground,

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doing something macho.

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And she gets fooled by the serpent,

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then trots over seductively to Adam

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and gets him to have the apple.

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And he's just the innocent bystander of all of this.

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But scripture kind of makes it seem like he's right there.

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He's right there in the garden with her.

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So the first thing that Adam fails to do

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is really protect her.

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And we see no conversation where he's like,

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dude, you're just full of crap.

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Like, why are you saying that to her?

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Like, she's my gal.

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I got her covered.

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Eve, let's get out of here.

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Like, there is none of that exchange.

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So she takes it.

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But then here's what she does.

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She gives the apple to Adam.

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And here was his mistake.

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So her mistake was kind of believing the lie, right?

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She believed, well, and here was it in.

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He gave a lot of truth wrapped in some lies.

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And that's how the enemy works with us.

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He never just gives us an outright lie.

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The enemy doesn't show up in a pitchfork in red.

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Like we would know what that looks like.

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And we would all say heck no to that.

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But he comes in like the angel of light.

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He makes it look good.

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And so he made it look good to Eve.

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And then she in turn was able to make it look good to Adam.

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And this is the first time we see

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that Adam was more concerned with meeting her needs

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than following God's law.

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And so that is almost like the fall of man, right?

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Like the fall of man.

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So in the fall of her, she believed the lie.

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So the divine feminine is very likely to believe the lie.

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She's more likely to believe the lie.

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Men, you are more likely to sometimes

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wanna please her more than follow God.

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So we kind of each have our weakness

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that's showcased in that moment.

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And so that's when the fall begins.

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And so then here comes God, you know,

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so of course they sin.

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And then here comes God.

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My favorite line of scripture where he's like,

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so where is everybody?

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Y'all know he knows where they are.

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He already knows what they've done.

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And, you know, he says, you know,

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Adam says, we're naked.

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We had to hide and we're naked.

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And I actually had a whole entire,

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I used to run a nonprofit.

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And one of my gala themes for the year

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was called Who Told You That?

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And it was apples everywhere.

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Although I went to Israel only to find out

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that it probably was not an apple.

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It was probably a fruit more like a fig,

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like a fig from a fig tree that was much more apropos

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for the land of that area.

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But anyway, the first thing that Jesus or God says

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is who told you that?

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Like he knows, but he wants them to recognize

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who told them the lie.

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And so of course, you know,

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and that's the minute the blame game happens.

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So they each had their initial sin,

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but then the blame kind of happens.

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They're both like, well, she made me eat it.

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He didn't protect me.

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And so from there forward,

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we have gone forward with our sin

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of more quickly blaming each other

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than taking a look at our own side of the street.

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And you guys know that I think,

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I think that David already did the boundaries teaching

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that I teach.

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I gave him some of my notes on it.

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And, you know, a lot of times our lack of boundaries

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and healthy relationships with one another

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has to do with us not owning our side of the street

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and taking responsibility.

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So that happens right from the get-go.

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And ever since then, part of the curse

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has really been this unhealthy relationship

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and role between men and women ever since.

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So what happened for many years, man's like, man,

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I'm just not gonna ever be taken advantage of

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by a woman again.

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And so there starts this hierarchy, right?

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And women are treated, I mean,

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if you look through all of the Old Testament,

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women are treated like property.

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And they're, you know, they're,

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and even when Jesus talks about some stuff

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in the New Testament,

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even when he's like talking about divorce,

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he's really trying to do it at the protection of.

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woman, when he says you can't get divorced for these, these, these, and these reasons,

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because in his time, men could like get divorced from a woman for just burning the toast.

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Like he could just walk away from her, go take on another wife, something could happen

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to her, and then he could walk back home and go back to the first wife, and she was supposed

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to have just been sitting there waiting for him.

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So we have centuries and centuries of this patriarchy where like the man was kind of

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on top.

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Then of course the feminist movement go hundreds of years later, you know, we have the feminist

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movement and a lot of good stuff happened in that for the women to not be property,

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women have the right to vote.

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But it's almost like y'all have seen it, like the pendulum swung way in the other direction.

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Even in the sixties, in the 1960, 1970, like I just remember that commercial, you know,

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oh my gosh, it was that stupid Charlie perfume music where it's like women can bring home

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the bacon fried up in a pan and, you know, and be like really seductive with her man

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all in it.

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It's like, so this idea became that women could be a wife and a mom and have a career.

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She could do all of the things.

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And so it was great and it wasn't because it really set her up to take on the divine

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masculine, take on a lot of masculine attributes.

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Like she can be as good as a man, she can think like a man, she can act like a man,

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she can dress like a man.

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And so it kind of reverted the other way and a lot of women wanted nothing to do with men.

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And so, and then when you guys, we've really seen it kind of go haywire in the last, I'd

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say five to 10 years.

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And I say this as a woman who has run a woman's ministry for many years, I say this as somebody

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and I'm going to be really blunt here to make my point because I'm really trying to

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be protective of women and men, but even a part of the Me Too movement.

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And I say this as a woman who's been through sexual assault.

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We have gone to such a length that we've now kind of pigeonholed all men into like this

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patriarchy, male dominated, awful being that needs to be taken down and that any woman

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at any time is just has to be assumed correct.

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And so it's like, we've just really hit this pendulum, right?

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So women went from being like subservient, then we wanted to get on top.

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And so we had to do that by emasculating men.

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And I say that because you guys, I know so many of you have a story and I've met so many

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men.

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For as many women in our program that have an ex-husband that was a narcissist or abusive

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or a cheater or was into porn, we have an equal number of men, in my opinion, who have

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been verbally abused, emasculated in any other way taken down by their wife.

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And so we have two very broken, hurt kind of people kind of doing that.

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And now in more recent years, I feel like the enemy is just out to rob identity altogether.

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The enemy knows that when we're fully divinely masculine and fully feminine, we are too created

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man and female.

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Like whoever thought we would question male and female, but here we are, we are in a world

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00:13:29.040 --> 00:13:32.240
where we are not defining gender at all.

243
00:13:32.240 --> 00:13:36.760
It's like, there are so many acronyms now and so many definitions.

244
00:13:36.760 --> 00:13:39.760
You guys, when I see like profiles, I have to look up half the words because I'm like,

245
00:13:39.760 --> 00:13:45.600
I don't even know what you just said, but like, I'm not a male or a female or I'm choosing

246
00:13:45.600 --> 00:13:49.400
to be a female, but not because of a vagina or not because of a penis and I'm going to

247
00:13:49.400 --> 00:13:53.840
be attracted to somebody not because their genitalia is crazy making.

248
00:13:53.840 --> 00:13:58.880
All of this is, all this transgender talk, all of this identity talk goes back to the

249
00:13:58.880 --> 00:13:59.880
garden.

250
00:13:59.880 --> 00:14:03.860
It's like, we didn't want this hierarchy and we didn't want this hierarchy.

251
00:14:03.860 --> 00:14:09.820
So now we're throwing away both hierarchies and we're now just going to be non-identity.

252
00:14:09.820 --> 00:14:13.260
And I think that we're going right back to the garden.

253
00:14:13.260 --> 00:14:17.740
And we know that the only solution and the only true answer to this is to go back to

254
00:14:17.740 --> 00:14:23.020
the divine masculine and feminine that God originally intended for us.

255
00:14:23.020 --> 00:14:29.060
So hope you enjoyed that little journey down our history lesson and I did it justice for

256
00:14:29.060 --> 00:14:30.940
what Jackie did.

257
00:14:30.940 --> 00:14:37.620
So I want to hear a little bit about, I'm actually going to ask you guys both, when

258
00:14:37.620 --> 00:14:41.540
you think about what does it mean to be masculine?

259
00:14:41.540 --> 00:14:49.380
What words do you think, not God, but what words do you think that the secular world,

260
00:14:49.380 --> 00:14:55.420
the general world uses when they describe masculine?

261
00:14:55.420 --> 00:14:58.500
And you guys can come off mute and just popcorn out.

262
00:14:58.500 --> 00:14:59.500
Toxic.

263
00:14:59.500 --> 00:15:00.500
Thank you.

264
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:07.100
Would you say the toxic toxic masculinity is yeah, so men are toxic. That's good. That's not a

265
00:15:00.500 --> 00:15:01.500
Thank you.

266
00:15:01.500 --> 00:15:01.500


267
00:15:08.560 --> 00:15:10.560
Patriarchal

268
00:15:11.520 --> 00:15:13.520
In a negative way

269
00:15:13.760 --> 00:15:17.600
Sure now, but what other words like think of like a dominating

270
00:15:18.280 --> 00:15:20.000
dominating domineering

271
00:15:20.000 --> 00:15:22.000
aggressive loud

272
00:15:22.360 --> 00:15:24.360
powerful

273
00:15:24.400 --> 00:15:26.400
Assertive pushy

274
00:15:26.400 --> 00:15:28.400
I

275
00:15:30.800 --> 00:15:36.440
Was gonna say be violent like what like a war like a war hero like a warrior sort of thing

276
00:15:36.640 --> 00:15:41.280
Yeah, at least that's how I grew up. I also think a lot of society

277
00:15:41.800 --> 00:15:43.280
attributes it

278
00:15:43.280 --> 00:15:45.000
to

279
00:15:45.000 --> 00:15:46.480
tall men

280
00:15:46.480 --> 00:15:48.560
strong men big men

281
00:15:49.400 --> 00:15:50.760
wealthy men

282
00:15:50.760 --> 00:15:55.960
Right, like the women have a view not godly women

283
00:15:55.960 --> 00:16:01.680
But women have a view of what makes a masculine man. Like he's a he's a hunter

284
00:16:01.760 --> 00:16:06.600
He can kill stuff and he can fix my TV. You can fix up

285
00:16:08.360 --> 00:16:14.220
And he better have dogs and big dogs and not cats right like I'm just trying to think of all the

286
00:16:14.580 --> 00:16:22.100
Stereotypical things that you guys like then maybe you can even just share words that women have used to describe you or not you

287
00:16:22.380 --> 00:16:27.420
To make you feel like you're not as masculine because you don't fit that mold

288
00:16:29.020 --> 00:16:32.560
Any other thoughts I know it's hard for you to speak up

289
00:16:40.060 --> 00:16:42.060
All right, well

290
00:16:42.300 --> 00:16:44.300
All right, so I shared a whole bunch

291
00:16:44.540 --> 00:16:50.500
So now I want you to describe what you think the world thinks of when they think of the word feminine

292
00:16:51.180 --> 00:16:53.180
or what you

293
00:16:53.380 --> 00:16:55.380
outward beauty on the outside

294
00:16:56.780 --> 00:16:58.780
Okay, say more

295
00:17:01.140 --> 00:17:04.140
Say more about what you think the world thinks of as feminine

296
00:17:07.660 --> 00:17:09.660
Graceful delicate

297
00:17:10.140 --> 00:17:12.140
Um, yeah

298
00:17:13.180 --> 00:17:15.579
Slim doe-eyed disney princess

299
00:17:18.300 --> 00:17:20.060
Yep

300
00:17:20.060 --> 00:17:22.060
thin tall

301
00:17:22.060 --> 00:17:23.579
blonde

302
00:17:23.579 --> 00:17:26.940
long fingernails lots of jewelry pretty makeup

303
00:17:28.780 --> 00:17:30.780
Wearing barely anything on

304
00:17:31.260 --> 00:17:32.700
and

305
00:17:33.100 --> 00:17:39.900
Barely anything on or any skin tight apparel big boobs, right? That's feminine big boobs big butt

306
00:17:43.820 --> 00:17:45.820
I should say

307
00:17:46.700 --> 00:17:48.700
Well, so the good news is

308
00:17:48.940 --> 00:17:54.860
Everything we just described as divinely masc or is masculine and feminine is not what god intended

309
00:17:56.220 --> 00:18:00.620
So here are the attributes. Do you guys want me to do the men's list or the female list first?

310
00:18:00.620 --> 00:18:02.940
Would you would you like i'll let you i'll let you pick

311
00:18:03.580 --> 00:18:04.860
Men's is fine

312
00:18:04.860 --> 00:18:05.740
Men's is fine

313
00:18:05.740 --> 00:18:11.980
Okay, so we're going to talk about the qualities that y'all should be striving after a little bit about what they need

314
00:18:12.700 --> 00:18:18.220
And then i'm going to read to you the divine feminine list because this is what you should be looking for

315
00:18:19.020 --> 00:18:20.300
um

316
00:18:20.300 --> 00:18:22.300
When you're looking for your gal

317
00:18:22.940 --> 00:18:26.220
Now mike this might counteract what we talked about last week, right?

318
00:18:26.300 --> 00:18:30.380
Remember we talked about like well, but what if she's not like i'm not attracted to her

319
00:18:31.260 --> 00:18:38.460
So I think that for both sides male and female if we start to look for these attributes somebody that we thought was

320
00:18:39.020 --> 00:18:39.980
Okay

321
00:18:39.980 --> 00:18:43.920
Can all of a sudden get pretty hot now? I don't think we have a massive conversion

322
00:18:44.460 --> 00:18:46.460
Right, but I think if you're like, hmm

323
00:18:46.700 --> 00:18:47.980
i'm intrigued

324
00:18:47.980 --> 00:18:52.300
Not really my type, but i'm really intrigued and if we look at some of these internal words

325
00:18:52.300 --> 00:18:54.380
Then we might be able to see some more of that. Okay

326
00:18:54.940 --> 00:18:59.340
So i'm going to tell you what the word is that jackie gave us but i'm also going to tell you

327
00:18:59.900 --> 00:19:02.460
What an overuse of that gift is right?

328
00:19:02.540 --> 00:19:07.760
So does anybody kind of understand that like I don't believe that they're just strengthened strengths and weaknesses

329
00:19:08.300 --> 00:19:12.460
I think sometimes we have strengths and I think sometimes we have an overuse of that strength

330
00:19:12.700 --> 00:19:16.300
Which looks like a weakness because we just you're overusing it

331
00:19:16.380 --> 00:19:21.500
Just like you can overuse a muscle group at the gym and you can strain yourself. You can overuse a gift

332
00:19:21.980 --> 00:19:23.980
And it can go awry

333
00:19:24.060 --> 00:19:24.300
All right

334
00:19:24.300 --> 00:19:29.260
So the first item for the men is that you are to be the order keeper

335
00:19:30.620 --> 00:19:35.180
So you are supposed to kind of look to keep things in order now

336
00:19:35.180 --> 00:19:38.380
That doesn't mean that you are anally organized, right?

337
00:19:38.460 --> 00:19:45.680
So this is not just for like the type a like number crunchy kind of people but you can look at a situation

338
00:19:46.460 --> 00:19:48.460
You can look at chaos

339
00:19:48.940 --> 00:19:51.020
And it's your job to help bring order

340
00:19:51.820 --> 00:19:53.820
Right bring order

341
00:19:54.060 --> 00:19:58.060
So order is not just organized but it's like you kind of see

342
00:19:58.780 --> 00:20:00.780
the chaos

343
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:06.820
And because you can be a little less driven by your emotions than women, it is why you're

344
00:20:06.820 --> 00:20:12.440
able to keep order, because you can kind of get a little bit of a level head.

345
00:20:12.440 --> 00:20:17.740
Now what that doesn't mean, so what do we think an overuse of order keeper can look

346
00:20:17.740 --> 00:20:18.740
like?

347
00:20:18.740 --> 00:20:19.740
Budgeting, finances.

348
00:20:19.740 --> 00:20:20.740
Well, no.

349
00:20:20.740 --> 00:20:21.740
Controlling.

350
00:20:21.740 --> 00:20:22.740
Controlling.

351
00:20:22.740 --> 00:20:23.740
No, that's actually a good thing.

352
00:20:23.740 --> 00:20:24.740
Controlling.

353
00:20:24.740 --> 00:20:25.740
Who's that controlling?

354
00:20:25.740 --> 00:20:26.740
Paul?

355
00:20:26.740 --> 00:20:27.740
I did.

356
00:20:27.740 --> 00:20:28.740
Yeah.

357
00:20:28.960 --> 00:20:36.720
So that's where an overuse of order keeper can come across as controlling.

358
00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:42.700
Like I'm going to control the situation so much that nothing bad happens, but the problem

359
00:20:42.700 --> 00:20:49.880
is you don't allow for grace, you don't allow for free will, especially in a dating relationship.

360
00:20:49.880 --> 00:20:56.780
You may want to keep order, however, sometimes it can look like domineering and controlling.

361
00:20:57.020 --> 00:21:01.780
Y'all, I was just on the receiving end of that in my last relationship, and I would

362
00:21:01.780 --> 00:21:05.260
argue is one of the biggest reasons why I had to end it.

363
00:21:05.260 --> 00:21:13.540
Because when you get so controlling that someone can't breathe or make any choices, it's suffocating.

364
00:21:13.540 --> 00:21:19.820
So if you start to feel like, if a woman tells you you're suffocating her, you have taken

365
00:21:19.820 --> 00:21:22.460
order keeper too far.

366
00:21:22.460 --> 00:21:23.460
Okay.

367
00:21:23.460 --> 00:21:25.340
So order keeper.

368
00:21:25.340 --> 00:21:27.860
The second word is defender.

369
00:21:27.860 --> 00:21:30.140
You are her defender.

370
00:21:30.140 --> 00:21:36.100
You are the, oh my gosh, what's the guy's name in Braveheart?

371
00:21:36.100 --> 00:21:37.100
William Wallace.

372
00:21:37.100 --> 00:21:38.100
William Wallace.

373
00:21:38.100 --> 00:21:39.100
Thank you.

374
00:21:39.100 --> 00:21:40.100
You are William Wallace.

375
00:21:40.100 --> 00:21:42.580
You are meant to defend her honor.

376
00:21:42.580 --> 00:21:47.900
You are meant to, again, it's in that protector kind of role.

377
00:21:47.900 --> 00:21:54.700
So you are meant to defend her and just be the one to kind of stand and be her shield

378
00:21:54.700 --> 00:21:56.180
and defend her.

379
00:21:56.180 --> 00:21:57.180
Awesome.

380
00:21:57.180 --> 00:21:59.580
How can defender be taken too far?

381
00:21:59.580 --> 00:22:05.580
If I not, if a guy that I accused as being a jerk to her and I knock him upside the head

382
00:22:05.580 --> 00:22:10.500
and beat him up like in a violent sense, and look, I brought a scalp as our anniversary

383
00:22:10.500 --> 00:22:11.500
gift.

384
00:22:11.500 --> 00:22:12.500
Awesome.

385
00:22:12.500 --> 00:22:13.500
Okay.

386
00:22:13.500 --> 00:22:14.500
Totally.

387
00:22:14.660 --> 00:22:21.740
The Lord does not want you to resort to violence as you defend unless she's being violated.

388
00:22:21.740 --> 00:22:23.260
And then you can kick the shit out of them.

389
00:22:23.260 --> 00:22:24.260
I'm just going to say.

390
00:22:24.260 --> 00:22:25.260
Nope.

391
00:22:25.260 --> 00:22:26.260
Not respecting her voice.

392
00:22:26.260 --> 00:22:27.260
Ooh, very good.

393
00:22:27.260 --> 00:22:28.260
Very good, Paul.

394
00:22:28.260 --> 00:22:29.260
Awesome.

395
00:22:29.260 --> 00:22:35.300
So defending her, making sure she's in a situation where she needs to be defended or wants to

396
00:22:35.300 --> 00:22:36.300
be defended.

397
00:22:36.300 --> 00:22:42.660
You know, sometimes she might need to stand her ground on a situation and, and find her

398
00:22:42.660 --> 00:22:44.180
own voice.

399
00:22:44.860 --> 00:22:48.620
So you want to make sure that when you're defending her honor, you are protecting her,

400
00:22:48.620 --> 00:22:50.740
but you're still giving her her voice.

401
00:22:50.740 --> 00:22:51.740
Okay.

402
00:22:51.740 --> 00:22:57.440
The third, the third item that we are looking for in a divine masculine is the dispenser

403
00:22:57.440 --> 00:23:01.140
of justice, dispenser of justice.

404
00:23:01.140 --> 00:23:07.940
So it's just, it's somebody who's going to want to make the situation right, a divine

405
00:23:07.940 --> 00:23:08.940
man.

406
00:23:08.940 --> 00:23:14.060
So not even just in a male female relationship, but you're at the store and you see somebody

407
00:23:14.940 --> 00:23:20.180
being treated badly, or you're out in the street and you're seeing like discrepancy,

408
00:23:20.180 --> 00:23:28.420
you're seeing something unequal, you're seeing nepotism, you are the dispenser of justice.

409
00:23:28.420 --> 00:23:35.940
And so, you know, it is, it is again, and I think dispenser of justice, my suspicion

410
00:23:35.940 --> 00:23:41.740
is this is divine masculine trait because it also takes somebody to be emotionally removed

411
00:23:41.740 --> 00:23:43.020
from a situation.

412
00:23:43.020 --> 00:23:47.780
So when, if women say to you that you're not emotional enough, there's actually a good

413
00:23:47.780 --> 00:23:51.560
reason why you're not, you were not meant to be the divine feminine.

414
00:23:51.560 --> 00:23:56.220
You are supposed to have emotions, but you're not supposed to be driven by them so much.

415
00:23:56.220 --> 00:24:01.940
And that's where the dispenser of justice can kind of come in, that you can have an

416
00:24:01.940 --> 00:24:04.700
objective eye.

417
00:24:04.700 --> 00:24:07.980
When can the dispenser of justice go awry?

418
00:24:07.980 --> 00:24:10.700
What does that look like?

419
00:24:10.700 --> 00:24:13.900
When you're perverted and play favorites.

420
00:24:13.900 --> 00:24:18.380
Well, sure, but then that wouldn't be justice, right?

421
00:24:18.380 --> 00:24:19.380
Then that's nepotism.

422
00:24:19.380 --> 00:24:20.780
What were you going to say?

423
00:24:20.780 --> 00:24:24.700
Who else had their hand raised?

424
00:24:24.700 --> 00:24:28.500
About when you get involved in stuff that you really just shouldn't be involved in.

425
00:24:28.500 --> 00:24:30.380
Oh, that's good.

426
00:24:30.380 --> 00:24:31.380
That's good.

427
00:24:31.380 --> 00:24:33.740
Sometimes it's not your monkey, not your circus, right?

428
00:24:33.740 --> 00:24:36.780
Like sometimes that's so good, Ty.

429
00:24:36.980 --> 00:24:42.020
It's so good because I'm guilty of doing that.

430
00:24:42.020 --> 00:24:43.620
I'm such a justice girl.

431
00:24:43.620 --> 00:24:45.300
Like it has got me in trouble sometimes.

432
00:24:45.300 --> 00:24:51.020
I used to be on staff at a church in Connecticut and I was always looking out for the little

433
00:24:51.020 --> 00:24:52.820
dog at my own expense.

434
00:24:52.820 --> 00:24:59.700
Like we had a female pastor and a female janitor on our staff at the same time get pregnant.

435
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.300
And the maternity package that we gave the pastor

436
00:25:04.300 --> 00:25:08.440
was grossly five times in time, money, everything

437
00:25:08.440 --> 00:25:09.860
than what we gave the janitor.

438
00:25:09.860 --> 00:25:14.260
And I feel he couldn't, I couldn't sit with that.

439
00:25:14.260 --> 00:25:15.700
It was just wrong.

440
00:25:15.700 --> 00:25:16.920
What did we do?

441
00:25:16.920 --> 00:25:19.420
In my defense, I was the business administrator.

442
00:25:19.420 --> 00:25:21.940
So HR did fall under me.

443
00:25:21.940 --> 00:25:25.740
But y'all, I got labeled by some elders of,

444
00:25:25.740 --> 00:25:28.700
you wanted to take Pastor Conaty's maternity leave

445
00:25:28.700 --> 00:25:29.540
away from her.

446
00:25:29.540 --> 00:25:31.820
I'm like, no, that is not what I wanted to do.

447
00:25:31.820 --> 00:25:35.180
I wanted to give Clara as much as we were giving Conaty.

448
00:25:35.180 --> 00:25:38.580
That's all I was trying to say.

449
00:25:38.580 --> 00:25:41.420
And it didn't help that she was an immigrant.

450
00:25:41.420 --> 00:25:46.420
I'm like, OK, she's the janitor and she's an immigrant.

451
00:25:46.420 --> 00:25:49.220
What are we doing here, people?

452
00:25:49.220 --> 00:25:51.660
But I was such a dispenser of justice.

453
00:25:51.660 --> 00:25:53.220
So that's a really good tie.

454
00:25:53.220 --> 00:25:56.500
Sometimes it's not our battle to fight.

455
00:25:56.500 --> 00:25:58.020
Another example.

456
00:25:58.060 --> 00:26:00.380
No, I can't, I can't do this.

457
00:26:00.380 --> 00:26:02.700
But let's just say I was in a recent situation

458
00:26:02.700 --> 00:26:05.300
where somebody was trying to, somebody was,

459
00:26:05.300 --> 00:26:08.460
a male person was trying to display some justice

460
00:26:08.460 --> 00:26:10.740
and it was just inappropriate, ill-timed.

461
00:26:10.740 --> 00:26:13.540
And all I could think about was this other staff person

462
00:26:13.540 --> 00:26:15.020
that he was just very upset with.

463
00:26:15.020 --> 00:26:16.220
It was the end of her shift.

464
00:26:16.220 --> 00:26:17.460
She probably had a bad day.

465
00:26:17.460 --> 00:26:19.580
And I was like, we just need to give this girl some grace.

466
00:26:19.580 --> 00:26:21.780
Like sometimes it's okay to give grace.

467
00:26:21.780 --> 00:26:24.820
Like sometimes it's not about right, wrong.

468
00:26:24.820 --> 00:26:26.380
It's not about black and white.

469
00:26:26.420 --> 00:26:30.660
Sometimes we need to extend mercy and grace.

470
00:26:30.660 --> 00:26:33.420
And sometimes it's not about justice.

471
00:26:33.420 --> 00:26:37.620
Okay, the fourth one is men are meant to be the provider.

472
00:26:37.620 --> 00:26:40.460
So we don't just mean financial provider,

473
00:26:40.460 --> 00:26:42.980
but we mean the provider.

474
00:26:42.980 --> 00:26:46.900
And so when can being a provider go awry?

475
00:26:46.900 --> 00:26:48.740
It doesn't seem like that one could ever go awry,

476
00:26:48.740 --> 00:26:51.940
but when can a provider go awry?

477
00:26:52.940 --> 00:26:56.820
Um, what do you got Hunter?

478
00:26:56.820 --> 00:26:59.100
Well, I think it's not just financially,

479
00:26:59.100 --> 00:27:00.740
but give her a gift.

480
00:27:00.740 --> 00:27:03.260
Like, and I don't mean a gift just to cover up

481
00:27:03.260 --> 00:27:04.820
or just to manipulate,

482
00:27:04.820 --> 00:27:07.820
but make a gift to make her show that you care.

483
00:27:07.820 --> 00:27:09.260
But it's not so much-

484
00:27:09.260 --> 00:27:13.460
You just mentioned how provider can go awry.

485
00:27:13.460 --> 00:27:16.100
So thank you for giving that example.

486
00:27:16.100 --> 00:27:20.660
Because if you buy her gifts or spend money on her

487
00:27:20.660 --> 00:27:24.180
to manipulate her or control her choices,

488
00:27:24.180 --> 00:27:27.500
that would be providing with bad intent, right?

489
00:27:27.500 --> 00:27:28.940
Like, I bought that for you.

490
00:27:28.940 --> 00:27:30.460
I did that for you.

491
00:27:30.460 --> 00:27:31.820
So you owe me sex.

492
00:27:31.820 --> 00:27:33.740
So you should be nice to me.

493
00:27:33.740 --> 00:27:35.580
So you should X.

494
00:27:35.580 --> 00:27:38.820
And so we want to make sure we don't provide

495
00:27:38.820 --> 00:27:40.900
with ulterior motives.

496
00:27:40.900 --> 00:27:41.740
Awesome.

497
00:27:41.740 --> 00:27:43.660
Well, another thing with the gifts too.

498
00:27:43.660 --> 00:27:46.980
I remember my last level three date,

499
00:27:46.980 --> 00:27:48.660
I was on financial constraints.

500
00:27:48.660 --> 00:27:52.180
I barely gave enough because I was trying to make,

501
00:27:52.180 --> 00:27:53.860
hold onto my emergency savings.

502
00:27:53.860 --> 00:27:57.100
She gave me a big Christmas gift and everything,

503
00:27:57.100 --> 00:27:58.780
but I didn't communicate well with her.

504
00:27:58.780 --> 00:28:00.060
It's like, what's with the gift?

505
00:28:00.060 --> 00:28:03.340
I understand, but we haven't spent much time communicating.

506
00:28:03.340 --> 00:28:07.260
Basically, communication gifts have to go hand in hand

507
00:28:07.260 --> 00:28:11.020
for a provider to go out, to come out right.

508
00:28:11.020 --> 00:28:12.340
Yeah, for sure.

509
00:28:12.340 --> 00:28:13.980
I think you'd be stifling too,

510
00:28:13.980 --> 00:28:17.380
not allowing the person to provide for themselves

511
00:28:17.380 --> 00:28:18.540
to a certain degree.

512
00:28:19.300 --> 00:28:20.460
Very good job.

513
00:28:20.460 --> 00:28:23.380
That doesn't sound like.

514
00:28:23.380 --> 00:28:25.060
Kind of a little lack of respect there, I guess.

515
00:28:25.060 --> 00:28:27.900
You want the provision to feel like it's a blessing

516
00:28:27.900 --> 00:28:29.140
and it's above and beyond,

517
00:28:29.140 --> 00:28:31.020
but if you start to do it too much,

518
00:28:31.940 --> 00:28:35.300
especially if she's been independent for a long time,

519
00:28:35.300 --> 00:28:36.980
she might feel, or she's a mother,

520
00:28:36.980 --> 00:28:37.820
she might feel like,

521
00:28:37.820 --> 00:28:39.820
are you implying that I can't take care of my kids

522
00:28:39.820 --> 00:28:41.380
or I can't take care of myself?

523
00:28:42.460 --> 00:28:43.580
Although I personally,

524
00:28:43.580 --> 00:28:45.780
if y'all want to spend money on me and provide for me,

525
00:28:45.780 --> 00:28:47.780
I've been taking care of myself long enough.

526
00:28:47.780 --> 00:28:50.740
I'd be happy to hand the reins over to somebody else.

527
00:28:51.980 --> 00:28:53.460
And that's just it.

528
00:28:53.460 --> 00:28:54.420
I'm just kidding.

529
00:28:54.420 --> 00:28:55.260
I'm just kidding.

530
00:28:55.260 --> 00:28:56.860
But I will say this,

531
00:28:56.860 --> 00:28:58.660
that brings up a good point though.

532
00:28:58.660 --> 00:29:00.660
Not every woman you see

533
00:29:00.660 --> 00:29:03.860
is gonna want the same level of provision.

534
00:29:03.860 --> 00:29:05.700
We don't know what her culture is.

535
00:29:05.700 --> 00:29:08.020
We don't know what her background is.

536
00:29:08.020 --> 00:29:11.540
We don't know what her past relationship is with her ex

537
00:29:11.540 --> 00:29:15.700
and how many and provision was used for or against her.

538
00:29:15.700 --> 00:29:17.300
And so you need to find that out

539
00:29:17.820 --> 00:29:20.660
before you just shower her with provision.

540
00:29:20.660 --> 00:29:24.180
Yeah, if you provide too much, you remove her out.

541
00:29:24.180 --> 00:29:26.980
Hunter, lay it down, lay it down.

542
00:29:26.980 --> 00:29:27.820
Okay.

543
00:29:27.820 --> 00:29:29.300
What were you gonna say, Paul?

544
00:29:29.300 --> 00:29:30.140
Or was it Ty?

545
00:29:30.140 --> 00:29:30.980
Paul or Ty?

546
00:29:30.980 --> 00:29:31.980
No, it was me.

547
00:29:31.980 --> 00:29:33.180
I was gonna say,

548
00:29:33.180 --> 00:29:35.900
like if you become too much of a provider,

549
00:29:35.900 --> 00:29:39.380
you remove a person's individuality.

550
00:29:39.380 --> 00:29:40.980
Okay, very good.

551
00:29:40.980 --> 00:29:41.820
Very good.

552
00:29:41.820 --> 00:29:42.660
I love it.

553
00:29:42.660 --> 00:29:43.500
That's good.

554
00:29:43.500 --> 00:29:44.860
Okay, five, number five,

555
00:29:44.860 --> 00:29:47.260
you are to be her covering.

556
00:29:48.100 --> 00:29:50.100
So that kind of goes with the defender,

557
00:29:50.100 --> 00:29:54.180
but that covering is really like

558
00:29:54.180 --> 00:29:56.780
she is under the shadow of your wing.

559
00:29:56.780 --> 00:30:00.220
And that really is different than some.

560
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:08.240
So subservient and making her be too submissive is a good example of the overuse of that.

561
00:30:08.240 --> 00:30:14.840
And there is a hierarchy of submission for a husband and a wife, but while you are still

562
00:30:14.840 --> 00:30:20.860
in level two and even level three dating, you shouldn't expect the same kind of submission

563
00:30:20.860 --> 00:30:23.900
that you would in a marriage relationship.

564
00:30:23.900 --> 00:30:26.500
And the covering means you're just kind of protector.

565
00:30:26.500 --> 00:30:31.980
When I think of a covering, I think of the guy showing up with the umbrella.

566
00:30:31.980 --> 00:30:33.460
That's what a covering is.

567
00:30:33.460 --> 00:30:38.740
And when you show up with the umbrella, she's still standing next to you.

568
00:30:38.740 --> 00:30:41.460
You've not put her under your foot.

569
00:30:41.460 --> 00:30:44.420
She's still by your side, but you're protecting her.

570
00:30:44.420 --> 00:30:48.380
So that's the covering and what that looks like.

571
00:30:48.380 --> 00:30:53.680
Again, I think we can already tell that an overuse of that would just feel like you're

572
00:30:53.680 --> 00:30:57.000
smothering her and you're treating her like a child.

573
00:30:57.000 --> 00:30:58.000
Like that's the thing.

574
00:30:58.000 --> 00:31:01.160
You want to make sure you don't cover her in a way that you start to talk to her or

575
00:31:01.160 --> 00:31:04.440
speak to her in a way that you would talk to your child.

576
00:31:04.440 --> 00:31:05.440
Okay.

577
00:31:05.440 --> 00:31:08.440
The next one is loyalty.

578
00:31:08.440 --> 00:31:11.640
A divine masculine is loyal.

579
00:31:11.640 --> 00:31:14.600
He is loyal.

580
00:31:14.600 --> 00:31:16.800
And so it means he says what he means.

581
00:31:16.800 --> 00:31:18.440
He means what he says.

582
00:31:18.440 --> 00:31:20.760
He's clear about what he's saying.

583
00:31:20.760 --> 00:31:24.600
He's not wishy-washy.

584
00:31:24.600 --> 00:31:30.880
He's not going to cut and run at the first argument or the first like impasse.

585
00:31:30.880 --> 00:31:33.200
And he's not going to talk badly about her.

586
00:31:33.200 --> 00:31:38.560
You guys, there's nothing that I find more unattractive in both men and women when they

587
00:31:38.560 --> 00:31:42.600
crap on their significant other in front of people.

588
00:31:42.600 --> 00:31:44.040
Like I've seen married people...

589
00:31:44.040 --> 00:31:45.040
How many of us, right?

590
00:31:45.040 --> 00:31:46.040
We've all seen people do it.

591
00:31:46.040 --> 00:31:47.200
I've seen married people do it.

592
00:31:47.200 --> 00:31:48.800
I've seen dating people do it.

593
00:31:48.840 --> 00:31:51.800
And it makes me very uncomfortable.

594
00:31:51.800 --> 00:31:55.640
I get that there's going to be some times that you guys disagree with each other and

595
00:31:55.640 --> 00:31:56.640
you may...

596
00:31:56.640 --> 00:32:02.000
It may happen in front of people, but there is no need to dog on each other or dog about

597
00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:07.000
each other either with them sitting right there or with them not away.

598
00:32:07.000 --> 00:32:09.520
And I hope that you have good friends.

599
00:32:09.520 --> 00:32:13.560
If you start dogging on your ex or on your girlfriend or your wife, that they're going

600
00:32:13.560 --> 00:32:15.800
to be like, Hey, that's just not appropriate.

601
00:32:15.800 --> 00:32:18.620
Like I hope you have friends that would call you out on it.

602
00:32:19.440 --> 00:32:21.020
I hope I don't have girlfriends.

603
00:32:21.020 --> 00:32:26.700
If I'm really pissed at the guy that I'm with and I'm venting about him, I hope that I don't

604
00:32:26.700 --> 00:32:28.940
have girlfriends that are like, Man, men suck.

605
00:32:28.940 --> 00:32:30.140
Men are douches.

606
00:32:30.140 --> 00:32:33.940
Men can't do anything or men never take responsibility.

607
00:32:33.940 --> 00:32:36.100
Men just make all the women like, I don't want that.

608
00:32:36.100 --> 00:32:38.500
I don't want girls in my life that are like that.

609
00:32:38.500 --> 00:32:42.420
I want women in my life that are going to be like, Renee, you cannot generalize all

610
00:32:42.420 --> 00:32:43.660
men like that.

611
00:32:43.660 --> 00:32:47.500
You may be disappointed with that one person did in that moment, but that doesn't even

612
00:32:47.500 --> 00:32:50.580
make that person a bad person.

613
00:32:50.580 --> 00:32:55.500
Most people like, yes, we know there are diabolical people out there, but most people are very

614
00:32:55.500 --> 00:32:58.480
much just trying to do the best that they can.

615
00:32:58.480 --> 00:33:03.820
Sometimes they're coming from broken, wounded places, but we want to make sure that we have

616
00:33:03.820 --> 00:33:07.300
female and male friends that are going to help turn us around.

617
00:33:07.300 --> 00:33:12.700
So when we say or act in a way that might seem disloyal, that they're going to swoop

618
00:33:12.700 --> 00:33:13.700
us back in.

619
00:33:13.980 --> 00:33:18.900
And I also kind of think of like, I know like I'm being so secular saying this, but I think

620
00:33:18.900 --> 00:33:24.020
of the infamous when Ross and Rachel had that, we were on a break moment and he goes out

621
00:33:24.020 --> 00:33:27.380
with the guys and they go out drinking and dancing.

622
00:33:27.380 --> 00:33:32.500
Like I feel like I hold his friends as much responsible to what happened to him.

623
00:33:32.500 --> 00:33:37.300
Like he got wasted and he was devastated over, I mean, he loved and worshiped Rachel for

624
00:33:37.300 --> 00:33:42.020
many, many years, finally gets her and he feels like he's losing her as she kind of

625
00:33:42.420 --> 00:33:48.220
gets her independence and blossoms and this other guys like all over her.

626
00:33:48.220 --> 00:33:50.180
I'm not trying to defend him, but I kind of am.

627
00:33:50.180 --> 00:33:54.180
And then he gets drunk and wasted and where were his friends making sure that he wasn't

628
00:33:54.180 --> 00:33:56.420
making any stupid choices.

629
00:33:56.420 --> 00:34:01.220
And so we want to make sure that we have friends that are going to help us be loyal, even when

630
00:34:01.220 --> 00:34:06.700
we don't have all of our faculties with us and we have every reason to not be.

631
00:34:06.700 --> 00:34:07.700
All right.

632
00:34:07.700 --> 00:34:10.620
The last item for the men is the helper.

633
00:34:10.620 --> 00:34:16.100
Believe it or not, we're the help mate, but you are the helper.

634
00:34:16.100 --> 00:34:18.780
So that is why you like to fix stuff.

635
00:34:18.780 --> 00:34:24.260
That is why when women come to you with problems, you don't think, you don't realize that sometimes

636
00:34:24.260 --> 00:34:26.900
we just need to vent or bounce ideas.

637
00:34:26.900 --> 00:34:29.940
Your immediate response is, hey, I got to fix it.

638
00:34:29.940 --> 00:34:31.260
She needs me to fix it.

639
00:34:31.260 --> 00:34:33.659
She's telling me the problem, I'm going to fix it.

640
00:34:33.659 --> 00:34:36.199
That's what helpers do, helpers help.

641
00:34:36.199 --> 00:34:41.440
And so obviously that's a beautiful gift, but I'm already telling you that sometimes

642
00:34:41.440 --> 00:34:46.239
the overuse of that gift is that sometimes she's going to talk to you about a situation.

643
00:34:46.239 --> 00:34:47.520
She don't need your help.

644
00:34:47.520 --> 00:34:48.800
She don't want your help.

645
00:34:48.800 --> 00:34:53.040
She just wants you to listen because a lot of times women aren't ready to make a choice

646
00:34:53.040 --> 00:34:54.040
yet.

647
00:34:54.040 --> 00:34:57.520
It's not that they don't want your help ever in this situation.

648
00:34:57.520 --> 00:34:59.960
They just may not want your help yet.

649
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.360
So sometimes they're like, why wouldn't you want me to help?

650
00:35:03.360 --> 00:35:04.440
I do want you to help baby,

651
00:35:04.440 --> 00:35:07.360
but right now I just need to piss and moan about it.

652
00:35:07.360 --> 00:35:10.000
I got no energy to help get it done.

653
00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:12.880
I just need to know someone can hear me.

654
00:35:12.880 --> 00:35:14.880
And so I just need a wine.

655
00:35:14.880 --> 00:35:17.800
I actually have a chart on my fridge

656
00:35:17.800 --> 00:35:20.080
that a married couple did for me

657
00:35:20.080 --> 00:35:21.960
and we taught it in the boundaries class.

658
00:35:21.960 --> 00:35:23.880
I think I share about it in the boundaries.

659
00:35:23.880 --> 00:35:26.000
I don't know if David went over it with you guys,

660
00:35:26.000 --> 00:35:29.380
but it talks about how women and men start a sentence

661
00:35:29.380 --> 00:35:30.340
when they're married.

662
00:35:30.340 --> 00:35:31.920
So the couple automatically knows

663
00:35:31.920 --> 00:35:33.500
you can kind of point to it on the fridge.

664
00:35:33.500 --> 00:35:35.780
Like I'm starting a sentence with this means,

665
00:35:35.780 --> 00:35:37.480
it just means you just listen.

666
00:35:37.480 --> 00:35:39.160
Or this one, it means you're just gonna stop

667
00:35:39.160 --> 00:35:40.000
and pray with me.

668
00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:42.500
Or this one means you're gonna fix it for me.

669
00:35:42.500 --> 00:35:45.220
So like you kind of, I need, I want,

670
00:35:45.220 --> 00:35:48.420
you know, like I need and I want are two different things.

671
00:35:48.420 --> 00:35:50.200
And so you are the helper.

672
00:35:50.200 --> 00:35:52.300
So men, let me summarize this.

673
00:35:52.300 --> 00:35:54.020
You are the order keeper.

674
00:35:54.020 --> 00:35:56.500
You are the defender, dispenser of hope,

675
00:35:56.500 --> 00:36:00.600
the provider, the covering, loyal and helper.

676
00:36:00.600 --> 00:36:03.180
Any words in there that you were surprised were on there

677
00:36:03.180 --> 00:36:04.900
that you're like, oh, I didn't even think about that,

678
00:36:04.900 --> 00:36:06.640
but I'll take that.

679
00:36:06.640 --> 00:36:09.060
Would you, I would say men, you are all,

680
00:36:09.060 --> 00:36:12.100
you are all amazing, godly, beautiful men.

681
00:36:12.100 --> 00:36:14.980
Every one of you on this call watching this in replay,

682
00:36:14.980 --> 00:36:19.980
I 100% believe that Jackie tries to bring this out of us

683
00:36:20.020 --> 00:36:22.180
and you are all capable of this

684
00:36:22.180 --> 00:36:24.740
and any woman's gonna be super excited

685
00:36:24.740 --> 00:36:26.160
to get all of this from you.

686
00:36:26.820 --> 00:36:29.000
All right, you ready to hear the women's list?

687
00:36:29.000 --> 00:36:30.400
Dun, dun, dun.

688
00:36:30.400 --> 00:36:33.080
Okay, so the women's list,

689
00:36:33.080 --> 00:36:35.240
the first thing that we were meant to be,

690
00:36:35.240 --> 00:36:40.240
now, so in some ways, if we had to kind of compare

691
00:36:41.680 --> 00:36:45.680
the divine masculine kind of shows up more like Jesus,

692
00:36:45.680 --> 00:36:48.040
right, and that's what I love about it

693
00:36:48.040 --> 00:36:50.920
because Jesus was all of those things.

694
00:36:50.920 --> 00:36:52.800
You know, Jesus was the order keeper.

695
00:36:52.800 --> 00:36:55.380
He was the defender, dispenser of justice,

696
00:36:55.380 --> 00:36:57.900
provider, covering, loyal, and helper.

697
00:36:57.900 --> 00:37:01.700
He was all those things, divinely masculine

698
00:37:01.700 --> 00:37:05.580
without being creepy masculine, right,

699
00:37:05.580 --> 00:37:09.700
an overbearing masculine, he had quiet strength.

700
00:37:09.700 --> 00:37:12.460
Okay, so now we're gonna talk about the women's list

701
00:37:12.460 --> 00:37:16.660
and the women's list looks closer to the Holy Spirit.

702
00:37:16.660 --> 00:37:20.020
So while the divine masculine more aligns

703
00:37:20.020 --> 00:37:21.860
with the character of Jesus,

704
00:37:21.860 --> 00:37:24.620
the divine feminine matches more closely

705
00:37:24.660 --> 00:37:27.300
with the Holy Spirit, which is not surprising

706
00:37:27.300 --> 00:37:30.300
since easier is used in the Bible

707
00:37:30.300 --> 00:37:34.340
to mention the Holy Spirit mostly, but then also women.

708
00:37:34.340 --> 00:37:37.300
So that's our clue that we are gonna take on more

709
00:37:37.300 --> 00:37:38.540
of those attributes.

710
00:37:38.540 --> 00:37:41.940
The first one is women are to be nurturers.

711
00:37:41.940 --> 00:37:45.620
So nurturer is not about taking care of children.

712
00:37:45.620 --> 00:37:47.260
It's about seeing, I love this.

713
00:37:47.260 --> 00:37:49.940
So this is how you want a woman to treat you.

714
00:37:49.940 --> 00:37:53.940
She sees your potential for something

715
00:37:53.940 --> 00:37:56.500
and they want to help water it.

716
00:37:56.500 --> 00:37:59.480
So it's like, they see that gift in you,

717
00:37:59.480 --> 00:38:01.580
they see that dream you have

718
00:38:01.580 --> 00:38:04.500
and they wanna help grow that dream.

719
00:38:04.500 --> 00:38:08.160
They see something, they see who you can become.

720
00:38:08.160 --> 00:38:10.460
They see that gift that's inside of you.

721
00:38:10.460 --> 00:38:13.100
They want to help provide a setting

722
00:38:13.100 --> 00:38:15.780
where your gift will flourish.

723
00:38:15.780 --> 00:38:17.940
This is not about caretaking.

724
00:38:17.940 --> 00:38:19.980
So this is what happens with women.

725
00:38:19.980 --> 00:38:22.540
Caretakers caretake children

726
00:38:22.540 --> 00:38:26.620
or those that are sick in crisis or the elderly.

727
00:38:26.620 --> 00:38:29.060
When you caretake, you do for them

728
00:38:29.060 --> 00:38:31.220
what they cannot do for themselves.

729
00:38:31.220 --> 00:38:33.220
So a lot of single moms,

730
00:38:33.220 --> 00:38:35.940
a lot of people taking care of elderly parents

731
00:38:35.940 --> 00:38:39.020
slip into caretaking a boyfriend

732
00:38:39.020 --> 00:38:43.180
because they're just used to taking over and taking care.

733
00:38:43.180 --> 00:38:46.780
Nurturing encourages them to do it for themselves.

734
00:38:46.780 --> 00:38:49.020
Men don't need another mother.

735
00:38:49.980 --> 00:38:52.060
Even if you don't have a good mother, you lost your mother.

736
00:38:52.620 --> 00:38:53.460
You don't need another mother.

737
00:38:53.460 --> 00:38:57.340
So that's what you wanna make sure that you are looking for

738
00:38:57.340 --> 00:38:59.620
is a woman who will nurture you,

739
00:38:59.620 --> 00:39:02.420
help you flourish and grow and cheer you on

740
00:39:02.420 --> 00:39:04.660
and be your cheerleader,

741
00:39:04.660 --> 00:39:08.380
but not take over and caretake for you.

742
00:39:08.380 --> 00:39:10.780
And I think what happens sometimes,

743
00:39:10.780 --> 00:39:15.220
this is how men will respond, kind of angry.

744
00:39:15.220 --> 00:39:16.660
I don't need another mother.

745
00:39:16.660 --> 00:39:18.860
I don't need a therapist.

746
00:39:18.860 --> 00:39:21.060
So you have to find your words

747
00:39:21.060 --> 00:39:24.780
when she starts to caretake and not nurture.

748
00:39:24.780 --> 00:39:28.740
If she's your gal and she's got an open hand posture,

749
00:39:28.740 --> 00:39:31.100
you wanna try to find more gentle ways

750
00:39:31.100 --> 00:39:34.620
than you snapping at or telling you that you're not a child

751
00:39:34.620 --> 00:39:35.900
and that you don't need a mother

752
00:39:35.900 --> 00:39:36.980
and you don't need a therapist.

753
00:39:36.980 --> 00:39:38.620
Just say, hey, you know what?

754
00:39:39.660 --> 00:39:42.220
I'm feeling like you're starting to take over

755
00:39:42.220 --> 00:39:43.460
and caretake for me.

756
00:39:43.460 --> 00:39:45.220
I really don't need you to do that,

757
00:39:45.220 --> 00:39:47.980
but I would love for you to cheer me on

758
00:39:47.980 --> 00:39:50.660
and help me figure it out for myself.

759
00:39:51.500 --> 00:39:52.340
Would you like-

760
00:39:52.340 --> 00:39:53.940
Could you say like an encourager?

761
00:39:53.940 --> 00:39:54.780
What? Yeah.

762
00:39:55.780 --> 00:39:57.620
Kind of equally being an encourager?

763
00:39:57.620 --> 00:39:58.620
Yes.

764
00:39:58.620 --> 00:40:00.100
An encourager is close.

765
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.800
mostly aligned with, yes.

766
00:40:02.800 --> 00:40:03.760
Nurturer.

767
00:40:03.760 --> 00:40:05.320
A nurturer, yes.

768
00:40:05.320 --> 00:40:07.880
Cause it's, you're kind of tearing some along,

769
00:40:07.880 --> 00:40:09.280
you're encouraging them.

770
00:40:09.280 --> 00:40:11.160
You're like, yeah, you can do it.

771
00:40:11.160 --> 00:40:15.640
I think of, like I've had,

772
00:40:15.640 --> 00:40:18.000
have you ever had physical therapy done, right?

773
00:40:18.000 --> 00:40:20.320
Like post-surgery physical therapy, you guys,

774
00:40:20.320 --> 00:40:22.120
I'd never had any kind of physical therapy

775
00:40:22.120 --> 00:40:24.560
till my shoulder repaired four years ago.

776
00:40:24.560 --> 00:40:27.080
It was the most excruciating thing of my life.

777
00:40:27.080 --> 00:40:28.840
And there are parts of physical therapy

778
00:40:28.840 --> 00:40:31.120
where they're physically manipulating at the end.

779
00:40:31.120 --> 00:40:34.280
They're doing, they're moving the muscle for you.

780
00:40:34.280 --> 00:40:36.080
But the majority of the session

781
00:40:36.080 --> 00:40:39.480
is them getting you to do it yourself.

782
00:40:39.480 --> 00:40:41.280
And that's what a nurturer does.

783
00:40:43.120 --> 00:40:44.600
A physical therapist might yell at you

784
00:40:44.600 --> 00:40:46.320
just a little bit more though.

785
00:40:46.320 --> 00:40:48.080
The second one is counselor.

786
00:40:48.080 --> 00:40:51.120
Now I did not say therapist, but a counselor.

787
00:40:52.000 --> 00:40:55.320
Women are good at giving wise counsel.

788
00:40:55.320 --> 00:40:56.880
That's what women are good at.

789
00:40:56.880 --> 00:40:59.760
We are good at giving wise counsel.

790
00:40:59.760 --> 00:41:02.880
So a wise counselor, different from a,

791
00:41:02.880 --> 00:41:06.680
well, even my therapist does not tell me what to do,

792
00:41:06.680 --> 00:41:08.880
but a therapist can tell you what to do.

793
00:41:08.880 --> 00:41:11.480
Wise counselor might say things like,

794
00:41:11.480 --> 00:41:14.560
well, they will first ask for permission.

795
00:41:14.560 --> 00:41:16.280
Would you like some feedback?

796
00:41:17.640 --> 00:41:19.800
Ty, you just told me situation.

797
00:41:19.800 --> 00:41:21.760
Would you like some feedback?

798
00:41:21.760 --> 00:41:24.160
Yes, Renee, I would love your feedback.

799
00:41:24.160 --> 00:41:25.000
Awesome.

800
00:41:25.000 --> 00:41:26.240
Well, let me tell you,

801
00:41:26.240 --> 00:41:28.800
let's talk about the different scenarios

802
00:41:28.800 --> 00:41:31.680
and which way each of those could go down.

803
00:41:31.680 --> 00:41:35.640
If you chose this, this is what probably will happen

804
00:41:35.640 --> 00:41:37.440
or could happen, or here's some of the choices

805
00:41:37.440 --> 00:41:38.280
that could happen.

806
00:41:38.280 --> 00:41:40.280
Here's how that might make you feel.

807
00:41:40.280 --> 00:41:43.680
Here's how that might make the other person feel.

808
00:41:43.680 --> 00:41:47.200
Or you could take this path, or you could take this path.

809
00:41:47.200 --> 00:41:49.080
That's what wise counsel will do.

810
00:41:49.080 --> 00:41:52.000
Wise counsel never tells you one thing to do.

811
00:41:52.000 --> 00:41:54.720
Wise counsel will always try to tell you

812
00:41:55.400 --> 00:41:57.520
what the various options are

813
00:41:57.520 --> 00:41:59.800
and what are gonna be the pluses and minuses

814
00:41:59.800 --> 00:42:03.760
and things to be looking for for each of those options.

815
00:42:03.760 --> 00:42:07.080
And just say, hey, I support you

816
00:42:07.080 --> 00:42:09.640
in the choice that you think is best for you.

817
00:42:09.640 --> 00:42:11.880
That's wise counsel.

818
00:42:11.880 --> 00:42:16.640
A therapist is gonna get closer to diagnosis,

819
00:42:16.640 --> 00:42:19.040
like, oh, well, you know, Ty,

820
00:42:20.160 --> 00:42:23.800
you're doing that because you're an anxious attachment

821
00:42:23.840 --> 00:42:25.920
and that's how it's coming off.

822
00:42:25.920 --> 00:42:27.880
Like, I'm already diagnosing you

823
00:42:27.880 --> 00:42:29.640
before I've even given you my counsel.

824
00:42:29.640 --> 00:42:32.240
So I'm diagnosing you.

825
00:42:32.240 --> 00:42:35.240
Like, oh, that's why your ex left you.

826
00:42:35.240 --> 00:42:37.120
Right?

827
00:42:37.120 --> 00:42:40.840
That's the infamous, I've gotten that.

828
00:42:40.840 --> 00:42:42.600
Renee, that's why you're still single.

829
00:42:42.600 --> 00:42:43.680
Awesome, thanks.

830
00:42:43.680 --> 00:42:46.960
So now everything you just are gonna say to me afterwards

831
00:42:46.960 --> 00:42:48.480
is just gonna get negated.

832
00:42:49.720 --> 00:42:52.160
Okay, so that's what wise counsel is.

833
00:42:52.160 --> 00:42:55.360
Wise counsel is kind.

834
00:42:55.360 --> 00:42:57.280
It's not judgmental.

835
00:42:57.280 --> 00:42:59.160
It's respectful.

836
00:42:59.160 --> 00:43:01.400
And it looks at all of the options

837
00:43:01.400 --> 00:43:04.200
and it doesn't tell you what to do.

838
00:43:04.200 --> 00:43:09.200
Okay, the next one is wisdom.

839
00:43:09.240 --> 00:43:10.840
It kind of goes with counselor.

840
00:43:10.840 --> 00:43:13.440
So if counselors can give wise counsel,

841
00:43:13.440 --> 00:43:17.600
then chances are there's some wisdom and discernment there.

842
00:43:17.600 --> 00:43:19.320
So wisdom and discernment,

843
00:43:19.320 --> 00:43:22.680
it sometimes looks like women have sixth sense, right?

844
00:43:22.680 --> 00:43:23.640
Have you heard that phrase?

845
00:43:23.640 --> 00:43:24.920
How did she just know?

846
00:43:24.920 --> 00:43:26.440
She had like sixth sense.

847
00:43:26.440 --> 00:43:29.480
Yeah, women have crazy discernment.

848
00:43:29.480 --> 00:43:31.040
I used to be the, you know,

849
00:43:31.040 --> 00:43:32.960
I already told you I was the business administrator

850
00:43:32.960 --> 00:43:33.800
at the church.

851
00:43:33.800 --> 00:43:36.440
I was basically second in command to the pastor.

852
00:43:36.440 --> 00:43:40.480
I would sit next to him during session or elder meetings

853
00:43:40.480 --> 00:43:42.440
because I was really good at reading the room.

854
00:43:42.440 --> 00:43:44.040
My discernment button,

855
00:43:44.040 --> 00:43:47.000
well, for everything else except for dating,

856
00:43:47.040 --> 00:43:51.200
but my discernment button was really, really spot on.

857
00:43:51.200 --> 00:43:52.880
And so sometimes I would watch the room,

858
00:43:52.880 --> 00:43:56.040
I'd read the room and he would hear the questions,

859
00:43:56.040 --> 00:43:58.280
but he wasn't really hearing what they were asking.

860
00:43:58.280 --> 00:44:00.440
And so I would slip him notes,

861
00:44:00.440 --> 00:44:03.400
like she's really asking you this,

862
00:44:03.400 --> 00:44:05.680
or he's really asking you this.

863
00:44:05.680 --> 00:44:09.000
And then he would able to respond to what I was being able

864
00:44:09.000 --> 00:44:12.600
to discern, which was going on in the room.

865
00:44:12.600 --> 00:44:17.000
So if women are kind of giving you insight

866
00:44:17.000 --> 00:44:19.440
into something that you don't see happening,

867
00:44:19.440 --> 00:44:22.840
like perfect example, y'all, like my ex,

868
00:44:22.840 --> 00:44:25.320
he was, in my opinion,

869
00:44:25.320 --> 00:44:27.840
and I've got this crazy discernment on this.

870
00:44:27.840 --> 00:44:30.640
He was making some women feel, he was so friendly.

871
00:44:30.640 --> 00:44:31.680
He was such a salesman.

872
00:44:31.680 --> 00:44:34.000
He was super friendly, but he could not read the room.

873
00:44:34.000 --> 00:44:37.040
And he couldn't tell like when the waiter just wanted

874
00:44:37.040 --> 00:44:39.880
to get back to his job, like, stop talking.

875
00:44:39.880 --> 00:44:42.540
The waiter's done chit-chatting with you, good, go on.

876
00:44:43.480 --> 00:44:44.300
Or when we're in the elevator

877
00:44:44.300 --> 00:44:47.460
and he's talking to the young girl and I'm like, no,

878
00:44:47.460 --> 00:44:49.100
you're gonna come off like creeper old guy,

879
00:44:49.100 --> 00:44:50.060
what are you doing?

880
00:44:50.060 --> 00:44:51.340
And he's like, I don't know what you're talking about.

881
00:44:51.340 --> 00:44:53.980
And I'm like, it's wisdom, it's discernment.

882
00:44:53.980 --> 00:44:56.220
But here's when discernment goes awry,

883
00:44:56.220 --> 00:44:59.380
because just like the guys, they could always go awry.

884
00:44:59.380 --> 00:45:00.220
So.

885
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.820
For nurturer, they become a caretaker.

886
00:45:02.820 --> 00:45:04.060
We don't want that.

887
00:45:04.060 --> 00:45:08.080
For counselor, they become a therapist and they start judging you and they start giving

888
00:45:08.080 --> 00:45:10.020
you advice and they diagnose you.

889
00:45:10.020 --> 00:45:11.780
We don't want that.

890
00:45:11.780 --> 00:45:20.380
The negative impact of wisdom without a healthy and healed heart is cynicism.

891
00:45:20.380 --> 00:45:21.380
I've got to turn the light on.

892
00:45:21.380 --> 00:45:22.380
It's getting, it's starting to get dark.

893
00:45:22.380 --> 00:45:23.380
Okay.

894
00:45:23.380 --> 00:45:24.380
Okay.

895
00:45:24.380 --> 00:45:25.380
All right.

896
00:45:25.380 --> 00:45:35.160
I'm sorry about the light shining on the back of me, but y'all don't need, all right.

897
00:45:35.160 --> 00:45:40.100
So let's just say, others say, while wisdom is the application of knowledge, discernment

898
00:45:40.100 --> 00:45:42.580
is the ability to judge well.

899
00:45:42.580 --> 00:45:47.380
Discernment is the ability to perceive, understand, and judge things clearly, especially things

900
00:45:47.380 --> 00:45:50.140
that are not obvious or straightforward.

901
00:45:50.140 --> 00:45:56.740
However, with a broken and unhealed heart, that can turn into judgment and suspicion.

902
00:45:56.740 --> 00:45:59.180
It can look picky and negative.

903
00:45:59.180 --> 00:46:01.720
And as we age, it shows on our face.

904
00:46:01.720 --> 00:46:09.980
We get what they call resting bitch face, and it can come off as a disapproving spirit.

905
00:46:09.980 --> 00:46:17.040
So how many of you've seen women go from strong, healthy discernment to, I call it judgy McJudgy.

906
00:46:17.040 --> 00:46:19.360
She's being judgy McJudgy.

907
00:46:19.360 --> 00:46:22.120
And it's like just, she's just being super judgmental.

908
00:46:22.120 --> 00:46:27.680
I also call it cynical, judgmental, cynical, and suspicious.

909
00:46:27.680 --> 00:46:32.640
Like I know it might be appropriate to Google somebody before you meet them, but then there

910
00:46:32.640 --> 00:46:34.960
are some women that are going down the rabbit trail.

911
00:46:34.960 --> 00:46:41.040
They become a private investigator and they are like looking for all your dirt before

912
00:46:41.040 --> 00:46:45.240
she's had a first date and super picky and super negative.

913
00:46:45.960 --> 00:46:50.600
So if you are sensing a woman that is being super picky, and here's the thing, you guys,

914
00:46:50.600 --> 00:46:52.360
I want to help save you.

915
00:46:52.360 --> 00:46:57.120
She's not going to appear picky and negative about you right away.

916
00:46:57.120 --> 00:47:00.600
When you're first meeting her, she's going to go out on all the stops to make you feel

917
00:47:00.600 --> 00:47:04.880
like a million bucks, but you're going to see picky and negative and judgy McJudgy show

918
00:47:04.880 --> 00:47:06.580
up in other places.

919
00:47:06.580 --> 00:47:11.440
Whether it's the food that she ordered, how someone else is treating her, the outfit she

920
00:47:11.440 --> 00:47:19.840
has on, you will start to see picky and negative and judgy behavior somewhere else in her life

921
00:47:19.840 --> 00:47:24.640
before you see it in the way she's treating you because she's going to monitor her own

922
00:47:24.640 --> 00:47:29.440
behavior to her longer, but she can't help herself because somewhere it's going to come

923
00:47:29.440 --> 00:47:30.440
out.

924
00:47:30.440 --> 00:47:32.820
So hopefully that made sense to you.

925
00:47:32.820 --> 00:47:35.880
Number four, she is the comforter.

926
00:47:35.880 --> 00:47:37.160
She's the comforter.

927
00:47:37.160 --> 00:47:45.800
She is the one that will bring shalom peace, the peace that surpasses all understanding.

928
00:47:45.800 --> 00:47:50.640
She is your advocate and your comforter.

929
00:47:50.640 --> 00:47:56.320
She will provide peace to those who are, it's the phrase, steadfast.

930
00:47:56.320 --> 00:47:59.180
She will be steadfast.

931
00:47:59.180 --> 00:48:03.380
The result of a righteousness, okay, let's see.

932
00:48:03.380 --> 00:48:13.140
It's a quiet, confident fervor, quiet, confident fervor.

933
00:48:13.140 --> 00:48:15.700
That's what she's going to have in the embodiment.

934
00:48:15.700 --> 00:48:18.100
So it is not just quiet girls.

935
00:48:18.100 --> 00:48:22.300
I would say that I bring a lot of peace even though I'm a loud Italian, right?

936
00:48:22.300 --> 00:48:28.660
So don't confuse comforter, peace, and shalom with quiet.

937
00:48:28.660 --> 00:48:31.100
It's just somebody who kind of brings in that spirit.

938
00:48:31.100 --> 00:48:38.740
You know how we said that men are the order keeper, you can kind of bring order to chaos.

939
00:48:38.740 --> 00:48:41.060
You can bring order to the chaos.

940
00:48:41.060 --> 00:48:43.900
She can bring peace to the chaos.

941
00:48:43.900 --> 00:48:45.660
You bring order.

942
00:48:45.660 --> 00:48:46.660
She brings peace.

943
00:48:46.660 --> 00:48:51.340
Do you see how those blend nicely together, order and peace?

944
00:48:51.340 --> 00:48:54.900
Otherwise, order without peace is just military, right?

945
00:48:54.900 --> 00:48:56.340
It's just militant.

946
00:48:56.340 --> 00:48:57.340
It's just demanding.

947
00:48:57.660 --> 00:49:01.460
But order with peace kind of brings the whole thing down.

948
00:49:01.460 --> 00:49:03.380
So I love that.

949
00:49:03.380 --> 00:49:05.300
Number five, meek.

950
00:49:05.300 --> 00:49:07.100
Meek is not weak, right?

951
00:49:07.100 --> 00:49:10.260
So meek, meek, meek, meek.

952
00:49:10.260 --> 00:49:15.860
It's a positive moral quality dealing with people in a kind manner with humility and

953
00:49:15.860 --> 00:49:19.060
consideration.

954
00:49:19.060 --> 00:49:20.620
It is not rigid or...

955
00:49:20.620 --> 00:49:25.940
So the earthly ways of being meek are looked at being weak, but in essence, it's actually

956
00:49:25.940 --> 00:49:26.940
opposite.

957
00:49:27.540 --> 00:49:30.140
It is power under control.

958
00:49:30.140 --> 00:49:32.660
So somebody used that phrase and I really loved it.

959
00:49:32.660 --> 00:49:39.500
Meek is power under control.

960
00:49:39.500 --> 00:49:40.940
Now here's the thing, you guys.

961
00:49:40.940 --> 00:49:44.980
Meek is one of the self-control and meek is one of the fruit of the spirit.

962
00:49:44.980 --> 00:49:46.780
So that means...

963
00:49:46.780 --> 00:49:51.660
So unpacking the fruit of the spirit, that's an opportunity for both of us.

964
00:49:51.660 --> 00:49:57.420
So there's divine masculine, divine feminine, but we both get to act as fruit of the spirit.

965
00:49:57.420 --> 00:49:59.580
And self-control and meek is a part of that.

966
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.520
Here's where meek can go awry with women.

967
00:50:03.520 --> 00:50:06.360
It starts to look super rigid and cold.

968
00:50:06.360 --> 00:50:09.480
Like, so she's so calm, she's so peaceful,

969
00:50:09.480 --> 00:50:14.480
she's so reined in on not being emotional

970
00:50:14.960 --> 00:50:18.260
that she can come off looking rigid and cold.

971
00:50:18.260 --> 00:50:20.280
So if you've been around women

972
00:50:20.280 --> 00:50:22.640
who kind of appear rigid and cold,

973
00:50:22.640 --> 00:50:24.820
they've been trapped into their meekness

974
00:50:24.820 --> 00:50:27.680
or kind of forced into it, shunned into it

975
00:50:27.680 --> 00:50:31.140
in a way that it's not allowed them to blossom.

976
00:50:32.040 --> 00:50:35.220
Number six, she's the receiver.

977
00:50:35.220 --> 00:50:38.360
So she is meant to receive from you all.

978
00:50:38.360 --> 00:50:41.680
Jackie will say that even in a sexual relationship,

979
00:50:41.680 --> 00:50:45.020
the man is the giver and she is the receiver.

980
00:50:45.020 --> 00:50:48.160
And so she is meant to receive mentally,

981
00:50:48.160 --> 00:50:51.380
emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

982
00:50:51.380 --> 00:50:53.800
So even though Jackie encourages women

983
00:50:53.800 --> 00:50:56.640
to drop the first hanky and after that first date,

984
00:50:56.640 --> 00:50:59.240
let a guy know that she would like a second date,

985
00:51:00.160 --> 00:51:05.040
really, she should be the receiver in most of that,

986
00:51:05.040 --> 00:51:06.920
in that courting relationship.

987
00:51:08.080 --> 00:51:11.680
And now, obviously, a receiver gone awry

988
00:51:11.680 --> 00:51:14.080
would be she takes advantage of you, right?

989
00:51:14.080 --> 00:51:15.800
And she just milks you for all you got.

990
00:51:15.800 --> 00:51:19.200
So we don't want women taking advantage of you.

991
00:51:19.200 --> 00:51:20.440
And so that's not important.

992
00:51:20.440 --> 00:51:25.440
Then the last one for number seven for women is fun.

993
00:51:25.640 --> 00:51:30.360
Believe it or not, women are supposed to bring the fun.

994
00:51:30.360 --> 00:51:33.040
So when you don't have any goofy questions

995
00:51:33.040 --> 00:51:34.680
to ask out on a date,

996
00:51:34.680 --> 00:51:37.680
or any goofy fun things to do on a date,

997
00:51:37.680 --> 00:51:40.800
and you're like feeling like it's an interview,

998
00:51:40.800 --> 00:51:42.360
pull out her fun.

999
00:51:42.360 --> 00:51:44.960
Just say, hey, I think on the next date,

1000
00:51:44.960 --> 00:51:46.880
we just need to do something fun and silly.

1001
00:51:46.880 --> 00:51:48.800
Can you help me plan that?

1002
00:51:48.800 --> 00:51:51.160
I would just like to laugh and have fun with you.

1003
00:51:51.160 --> 00:51:52.120
And do you wanna know,

1004
00:51:52.120 --> 00:51:53.960
that's like one of the number one things

1005
00:51:53.960 --> 00:51:55.680
girls are looking for in a man

1006
00:51:55.680 --> 00:51:58.240
is somebody who can make her laugh.

1007
00:51:58.240 --> 00:52:00.320
Because life has been hard

1008
00:52:00.320 --> 00:52:02.840
and we are all serious too, too much.

1009
00:52:04.840 --> 00:52:08.520
The other thing I wanted to say for you guys too,

1010
00:52:08.520 --> 00:52:10.840
as you guys are talking about being divine masculine

1011
00:52:10.840 --> 00:52:12.400
and divine feminine,

1012
00:52:12.400 --> 00:52:14.080
again, and I think I talked about this

1013
00:52:14.080 --> 00:52:16.360
in the online dating thing last week,

1014
00:52:16.360 --> 00:52:19.240
it is super important that you guys,

1015
00:52:19.280 --> 00:52:24.040
we don't bring our whiny past with us on our future dates.

1016
00:52:24.040 --> 00:52:26.120
And so there's a time and a place

1017
00:52:26.120 --> 00:52:28.040
to talk to our current people

1018
00:52:28.040 --> 00:52:30.760
about our past relationships and what went wrong

1019
00:52:30.760 --> 00:52:32.480
and what we learned from it.

1020
00:52:32.480 --> 00:52:35.720
But we wanna make sure we don't turn those early dates

1021
00:52:35.720 --> 00:52:38.960
into just a bitch fest about the ex.

1022
00:52:39.880 --> 00:52:40.840
And it's almost like,

1023
00:52:40.840 --> 00:52:42.600
if you do remember Lethal Weapon,

1024
00:52:42.600 --> 00:52:45.120
I love how I'm bringing up all these movie analogies,

1025
00:52:45.120 --> 00:52:47.080
Lethal Weapon three,

1026
00:52:47.200 --> 00:52:50.920
it's Renee, and I know it's Renee Russo.

1027
00:52:50.920 --> 00:52:52.840
People always think that that's my name.

1028
00:52:52.840 --> 00:52:54.520
And oh my gosh, what's his name?

1029
00:52:56.400 --> 00:53:00.120
You guys, he was the guy who made The Passion of the Christ.

1030
00:53:00.120 --> 00:53:01.760
Why am I having a brain freeze?

1031
00:53:01.760 --> 00:53:02.600
Mel Gibson.

1032
00:53:02.600 --> 00:53:03.880
Mel Gibson.

1033
00:53:03.880 --> 00:53:04.720
COVID brain.

1034
00:53:06.200 --> 00:53:09.400
Okay, so there's a scene with Mel Gibson and Renee Russo

1035
00:53:09.400 --> 00:53:12.640
where they're comparing their bullet wounds and their scars.

1036
00:53:12.640 --> 00:53:14.480
Like, oh my gosh, you got shot here?

1037
00:53:14.480 --> 00:53:16.120
Oh my gosh, I have a scar here.

1038
00:53:16.120 --> 00:53:18.520
And it's like this funny scene

1039
00:53:18.520 --> 00:53:20.760
of who has more battle scars.

1040
00:53:20.760 --> 00:53:22.280
And it's funny, but you guys,

1041
00:53:22.280 --> 00:53:24.760
people do this on dates all the time.

1042
00:53:24.760 --> 00:53:28.000
Like, I'm just gonna tell you who had the worst childhood,

1043
00:53:28.000 --> 00:53:30.680
who had the worst ex-wife or the ex-spouse.

1044
00:53:30.680 --> 00:53:32.160
Like, that's me.

1045
00:53:32.160 --> 00:53:33.440
And we don't wanna do that on dates.

1046
00:53:33.440 --> 00:53:35.880
All right, other closing thoughts, let's see.

1047
00:53:35.880 --> 00:53:37.360
And I do wanna remind you

1048
00:53:37.360 --> 00:53:39.240
that even though we are divine masculine

1049
00:53:39.240 --> 00:53:42.160
and divine feminine, we are both the bride of Christ.

1050
00:53:42.160 --> 00:53:44.120
So before we get married,

1051
00:53:45.840 --> 00:53:48.560
we are all the bride of Christ, male and female.

1052
00:53:49.720 --> 00:53:52.280
Then we have a marriage relationship on earth,

1053
00:53:52.280 --> 00:53:55.000
which is supposed to most closely represent

1054
00:53:55.000 --> 00:53:57.080
that marriage relationship.

1055
00:53:57.080 --> 00:54:00.120
But my pastor just did a 10-week series on this.

1056
00:54:00.120 --> 00:54:01.560
When we go home to heaven,

1057
00:54:01.560 --> 00:54:03.880
we go back to being the bride of Christ.

1058
00:54:03.880 --> 00:54:06.260
So while we will have a familiar

1059
00:54:06.260 --> 00:54:08.960
and special relationship with our spouse

1060
00:54:08.960 --> 00:54:12.560
in a way that we can't comprehend on earth,

1061
00:54:12.560 --> 00:54:15.440
it's not gonna be the same marriage relationship

1062
00:54:15.440 --> 00:54:17.800
because you're gonna have your spouse,

1063
00:54:17.800 --> 00:54:19.760
it's gonna be a special person to you,

1064
00:54:19.760 --> 00:54:23.320
but we'll all go back to being the bride of Christ.

1065
00:54:23.320 --> 00:54:25.720
And so that's when we are in all this.

1066
00:54:25.720 --> 00:54:27.880
All right, so let me give you some practices.

1067
00:54:27.880 --> 00:54:29.800
This is your homework, 7.58.

1068
00:54:29.800 --> 00:54:31.160
I'm doing good, you guys.

1069
00:54:31.160 --> 00:54:32.320
Bam, we're right on time.

1070
00:54:32.320 --> 00:54:34.320
Okay, so here's your homework.

1071
00:54:34.320 --> 00:54:37.300
And then we have the homework for the women too.

1072
00:54:37.300 --> 00:54:40.240
Practice ways to be more masculine.

1073
00:54:40.240 --> 00:54:44.460
Open doors, offer to lift things and grab things.

1074
00:54:44.460 --> 00:54:47.800
You guys, I was just on, I just came back from Mexico.

1075
00:54:47.800 --> 00:54:49.140
I was on four flights

1076
00:54:49.140 --> 00:54:51.660
because it was a connecting flight.

1077
00:54:51.660 --> 00:54:54.340
Of the four flights, I'm four foot 11

1078
00:54:54.340 --> 00:54:58.140
and I had to lift my very heavy bag up in the overhead.

1079
00:54:58.140 --> 00:55:00.140
Ask me, answer me how many men.

1080
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.280
offer to lift my bag out of the four flights. One, one, one of

1081
00:55:05.280 --> 00:55:09.240
the four. And y'all, like, I made sure I struggled. I didn't

1082
00:55:09.240 --> 00:55:12.300
just like, I don't just struggle because it's heavy because I'm

1083
00:55:12.300 --> 00:55:15.520
a strong girl. I lift weights now. But I'm just vertically

1084
00:55:15.520 --> 00:55:18.560
challenged and getting it up and into the bin. And then I can get

1085
00:55:18.560 --> 00:55:20.480
it in the bin. But then sometimes I can't get it out of

1086
00:55:20.480 --> 00:55:23.800
the bin. Because it's like, I literally sometimes have to

1087
00:55:23.800 --> 00:55:27.720
stand on a seat to get up out of the bin. And so the second guy

1088
00:55:27.720 --> 00:55:31.000
says, Hey, do you want? Yes. Yes. I would love for you to

1089
00:55:31.000 --> 00:55:34.900
grab the bag. Yes. Thank you. Now you are going to offer to

1090
00:55:34.900 --> 00:55:38.400
open doors. And you're going to offer to grab bags and women are

1091
00:55:38.400 --> 00:55:42.560
going to say no to you. It's okay. Do it anyway. Because she

1092
00:55:42.560 --> 00:55:46.640
has not been taught to say yes. We're teaching the women to say

1093
00:55:46.640 --> 00:55:50.480
yes, every time. Like at the gym, I have when I have to hook

1094
00:55:50.480 --> 00:55:54.400
up the pull down. I have to stand on the seat to do it. Now

1095
00:55:54.640 --> 00:55:58.200
I just pause laughing at me. It's true, though. So I don't

1096
00:55:58.200 --> 00:56:01.240
even try it anymore. I'm at the gym. I'm practicing being

1097
00:56:01.240 --> 00:56:05.080
feminine. Like, hey, can you get that for me? And every time you

1098
00:56:05.080 --> 00:56:08.720
want you know, how many times do guys say yes, when I ask every

1099
00:56:08.720 --> 00:56:12.360
single time, a man will do it for me. He will be chivalrous. So

1100
00:56:12.360 --> 00:56:17.320
you be chivalrous. Be on the lookout for toxic femininity.

1101
00:56:17.760 --> 00:56:21.540
That will look like seduction or manipulation. So we want to make

1102
00:56:21.540 --> 00:56:24.380
sure you know what that looks like and be paying attention to

1103
00:56:24.380 --> 00:56:28.380
it. Do not confuse masculine with boastful, loud or

1104
00:56:28.380 --> 00:56:33.940
financially successful. Don't be hard to be impressed. Work on

1105
00:56:33.940 --> 00:56:37.020
managing your energy and emotion, no matter what

1106
00:56:37.020 --> 00:56:40.900
personality style you are. Some of you need to reign in your

1107
00:56:40.900 --> 00:56:44.500
personality and others of you need to get out from beneath the

1108
00:56:44.500 --> 00:56:47.340
walls. So some of you need to kind of come down. Some of you

1109
00:56:47.340 --> 00:56:51.540
might need to rise up. Be masculine and all you do

1110
00:56:51.540 --> 00:56:55.320
practice everywhere you go. So kind of like look at that order

1111
00:56:55.320 --> 00:56:58.440
keeper, defender, dispenser. How can I practice that in all of my

1112
00:56:58.440 --> 00:57:02.340
ways? Don't treat women like your mother, therapist or

1113
00:57:02.340 --> 00:57:04.740
sister. That's why we don't want to tell each other all our

1114
00:57:04.740 --> 00:57:08.960
vomit in the first session. Don't focus on being independent

1115
00:57:08.960 --> 00:57:13.860
or dependent. Think interdependence. Jackie always

1116
00:57:13.860 --> 00:57:16.800
says this, our relationship with our spirit mate is not a waltz

1117
00:57:16.800 --> 00:57:19.740
but more like a West Coast swing. If you ever watched on

1118
00:57:19.740 --> 00:57:23.620
Instagram, when people draw each other's names and a song

1119
00:57:23.620 --> 00:57:26.620
they don't know, like in a West Coast swing, you never know

1120
00:57:26.620 --> 00:57:29.860
who's leading and you can kind of just follow each other all of

1121
00:57:29.860 --> 00:57:34.620
the time. Ask for what you need. When she talks to you, listen to

1122
00:57:34.620 --> 00:57:40.060
hear her and not respond. Ask Holy Spirit to reveal anything

1123
00:57:40.060 --> 00:57:45.420
in you that is counterfeit that still needs healing. So that is

1124
00:57:45.420 --> 00:57:48.780
the divine masculine and feminine teaching. How'd that go

1125
00:57:48.820 --> 00:57:55.580
for you guys? Was that helpful? Yes, it was. Okay, good. I'm

1126
00:57:55.580 --> 00:58:00.380
open for any questions or final ahas, thoughts, anything you

1127
00:58:00.380 --> 00:58:10.420
want to add to it. Feel free to add and share. Well, Chris left

1128
00:58:10.420 --> 00:58:14.980
us but he apologized. So he will probably have to watch this and

1129
00:58:14.980 --> 00:58:18.580
replay. Any thoughts, feelings, concerns, ideas?

1130
00:58:19.700 --> 00:58:23.860
So I like the picture of that the masculinity is like a

1131
00:58:23.860 --> 00:58:28.020
greenhouse for the femininity to grow. Like we use our strength

1132
00:58:28.020 --> 00:58:31.340
and our power to create a greenhouse for the flowers to

1133
00:58:31.340 --> 00:58:35.420
grow. And she can have the freedom and she doesn't have to

1134
00:58:35.420 --> 00:58:38.340
work. She doesn't have to walk in her masculine because it's

1135
00:58:38.340 --> 00:58:41.140
covered. Not that she can't walk in her masculine, but she

1136
00:58:41.140 --> 00:58:43.700
doesn't have to. So she can flourish and become all she's

1137
00:58:43.700 --> 00:58:44.300
supposed to be.

1138
00:58:44.780 --> 00:58:48.300
Yeah. And here's the thing. She wants you to grow too. So that's

1139
00:58:48.300 --> 00:58:52.780
the beauty. That's the beauty is you both together are going to

1140
00:58:52.780 --> 00:58:57.540
be more powerful and more you're going to both have more growth

1141
00:58:57.540 --> 00:58:59.900
because you're going to be inspiring each other to kind of

1142
00:58:59.900 --> 00:59:02.780
grow into that more. I love it. That's good. I love that

1143
00:59:02.780 --> 00:59:09.420
imagery. Well, you guys, this has been so much fun. Hunter,

1144
00:59:09.740 --> 00:59:10.260
what do you got?

1145
00:59:10.300 --> 00:59:13.740
Well, well, I was thinking about it's the last year single that

1146
00:59:13.740 --> 00:59:18.420
ready yet. I mean, I did get a messenger. I got something from

1147
00:59:18.420 --> 00:59:22.500
Jackie. That was it that

1148
00:59:23.300 --> 00:59:26.020
trying to get we're still trying to get all the men and the women

1149
00:59:26.020 --> 00:59:29.380
aren't even in yet. We only have volunteers in and some of the

1150
00:59:29.380 --> 00:59:33.620
men. So we're still working on that. But I don't have any more

1151
00:59:33.620 --> 00:59:37.300
answers to that. Because that's a David question. Because David

1152
00:59:37.340 --> 00:59:41.500
has a lot of the men in stripe, which is a platform that me and

1153
00:59:41.500 --> 00:59:46.180
Michelle do not have access to. So I can't answer that. And I'm

1154
00:59:46.180 --> 00:59:52.420
gonna I saw your man, I saw you post in the thing. So I will, we

1155
00:59:52.420 --> 00:59:53.820
will let you know, as I know.

1156
00:59:54.380 --> 00:59:57.380
All right, cuz I even gave Jackie an email. She said, email

1157
00:59:57.380 --> 00:59:58.300
me she'd have access.

1158
00:59:58.820 --> 00:59:59.860
I understand. It's

1159
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.240
It's not a, Jackie's not the one loading.

1160
01:00:02.240 --> 01:00:03.080
We're having, you know,

1161
01:00:03.080 --> 01:00:04.960
we're working through some kinks right now.

1162
01:00:04.960 --> 01:00:07.760
I mean, I've got like six tickets open

1163
01:00:07.760 --> 01:00:10.000
with the vendor and stuff.

1164
01:00:10.000 --> 01:00:12.560
But Paul and Mike and Ty,

1165
01:00:12.560 --> 01:00:13.920
have you guys been able to get in

1166
01:00:13.920 --> 01:00:15.980
and move around in there yet?

1167
01:00:15.980 --> 01:00:16.820
No.

1168
01:00:19.820 --> 01:00:21.760
I know you were all in on the email.

1169
01:00:21.760 --> 01:00:23.240
I know you were.

1170
01:00:23.240 --> 01:00:24.200
I probably missed it then.

1171
01:00:24.200 --> 01:00:26.240
What is it from a...

1172
01:00:26.240 --> 01:00:27.320
Okay, so you got the,

1173
01:00:27.320 --> 01:00:29.300
cause I also did a training on it.

1174
01:00:29.340 --> 01:00:32.100
Like I know for a fact,

1175
01:00:32.100 --> 01:00:33.940
Hunter, I thought your name was on there too,

1176
01:00:33.940 --> 01:00:35.900
but Paul, Mike, and Ty,

1177
01:00:35.900 --> 01:00:38.140
I know specifically Ty, Jackie,

1178
01:00:38.140 --> 01:00:40.260
make sure your name was on that email.

1179
01:00:40.260 --> 01:00:42.580
And so the email came from,

1180
01:00:45.180 --> 01:00:46.500
if you did not get the email

1181
01:00:46.500 --> 01:00:48.460
or if you guys cannot find the email,

1182
01:00:48.460 --> 01:00:52.060
and Hunter, maybe you can't find the email either.

1183
01:00:52.060 --> 01:00:55.380
Email me at admin at JackieDurham.com

1184
01:00:55.380 --> 01:00:56.500
if you can't find the email.

1185
01:00:56.500 --> 01:00:57.820
So we sent a reminder.

1186
01:00:57.820 --> 01:01:01.100
We sent an invitation email out two weeks ago or a week ago.

1187
01:01:01.100 --> 01:01:03.220
And then last week I sent out,

1188
01:01:03.220 --> 01:01:04.980
I had Cheryl send out another email.

1189
01:01:04.980 --> 01:01:07.020
I think it went out Friday.

1190
01:01:07.020 --> 01:01:08.280
And it said, hey, you guys,

1191
01:01:08.280 --> 01:01:11.300
here's a copy of the replay of the training I did,

1192
01:01:11.300 --> 01:01:13.180
how to move around the app.

1193
01:01:13.180 --> 01:01:14.940
And here's the link to get in

1194
01:01:14.940 --> 01:01:17.140
and here's some summary notes for you.

1195
01:01:17.140 --> 01:01:17.980
So if you guys...

1196
01:01:17.980 --> 01:01:20.340
I'm sorry, we access the app through your email

1197
01:01:20.340 --> 01:01:21.460
that you send us.

1198
01:01:21.460 --> 01:01:23.380
It's not like we can get it on the Apple store

1199
01:01:23.380 --> 01:01:24.380
or anything like that.

1200
01:01:24.380 --> 01:01:26.180
Well, you should be able to download the app.

1201
01:01:26.180 --> 01:01:30.300
Okay, so right now we're not using...

1202
01:01:30.300 --> 01:01:33.540
You can use the app from the Apple store.

1203
01:01:33.540 --> 01:01:38.540
I'm gonna put in this chat right here,

1204
01:01:38.660 --> 01:01:40.740
the actual web version.

1205
01:01:40.740 --> 01:01:41.580
Hold on.

1206
01:01:46.700 --> 01:01:47.540
Okay, hold on.

1207
01:01:51.540 --> 01:01:54.340
So I've been tootling around on it, it's cool.

1208
01:01:54.340 --> 01:01:55.260
Okay.

1209
01:01:55.300 --> 01:01:57.460
It'll be more fun with more people, but yeah.

1210
01:01:57.460 --> 01:02:00.380
Okay, so there is the front end link to the app.

1211
01:02:00.380 --> 01:02:01.820
That's the desktop version.

1212
01:02:01.820 --> 01:02:03.620
So that's what I trained on

1213
01:02:03.620 --> 01:02:07.180
because the mobile one has a couple more kinks in it.

1214
01:02:07.180 --> 01:02:10.620
So you can download it.

1215
01:02:12.220 --> 01:02:15.020
So right now, there's about 35 women in there,

1216
01:02:15.020 --> 01:02:15.860
just the volunteers.

1217
01:02:15.860 --> 01:02:18.060
And we wanted a handful of the men,

1218
01:02:18.060 --> 01:02:21.720
our most active men in there, kind of moving around.

1219
01:02:21.720 --> 01:02:26.720
So if you just click on that link that's in there right now,

1220
01:02:27.400 --> 01:02:29.240
then you can just bookmark it.

1221
01:02:29.240 --> 01:02:31.760
And it's gonna ask for your email address.

1222
01:02:31.760 --> 01:02:34.720
And the first time through, if you don't have a password,

1223
01:02:34.720 --> 01:02:36.920
it's gonna ask you to set up a password.

1224
01:02:36.920 --> 01:02:39.840
But if you go to the email I sent on Friday,

1225
01:02:39.840 --> 01:02:41.840
there's a replay of a Zoom video

1226
01:02:41.840 --> 01:02:43.120
of how to move around the whole app.

1227
01:02:43.120 --> 01:02:45.040
If you can't find that email,

1228
01:02:45.040 --> 01:02:47.520
email me at admin at jackiedorman.com.

1229
01:02:47.520 --> 01:02:49.440
I will have Cheryl manually,

1230
01:02:49.440 --> 01:02:52.360
I will manually forward you guys the email.

1231
01:02:52.360 --> 01:02:54.360
Oh, because Jackie said,

1232
01:02:54.360 --> 01:02:58.600
Hunter, email admins at jackie.com to get access to the app.

1233
01:02:58.600 --> 01:03:00.820
I know, that's why I just gave you the link right there.

1234
01:03:00.820 --> 01:03:03.200
But if you did not get that email, I need you to email me

1235
01:03:03.200 --> 01:03:04.640
and I'm gonna have Cheryl forward you guys

1236
01:03:04.640 --> 01:03:05.880
the email directly.

1237
01:03:05.880 --> 01:03:08.440
Probably also what it means is because part of the problem

1238
01:03:08.440 --> 01:03:11.000
is some of you guys are on the old system,

1239
01:03:11.000 --> 01:03:12.800
are on Stripe and you're not in Kajabi.

1240
01:03:12.800 --> 01:03:14.800
You don't need to know all this.

1241
01:03:14.800 --> 01:03:17.260
And unfortunately, it means that you're not necessarily

1242
01:03:18.000 --> 01:03:18.840
getting all of our emails correctly.

1243
01:03:18.840 --> 01:03:21.420
So we're trying to create profiles for you in Kajabi

1244
01:03:21.420 --> 01:03:22.860
so you can start getting our emails.

1245
01:03:22.860 --> 01:03:26.900
But, so you did not get the email last week, email me.

1246
01:03:26.900 --> 01:03:28.780
We will get you set up in the system.

1247
01:03:28.780 --> 01:03:31.620
That's the link right there on the chat

1248
01:03:31.620 --> 01:03:34.540
to get to the desktop version of the new app.

1249
01:03:34.540 --> 01:03:37.180
But wait, didn't you get an email on May 16th

1250
01:03:37.180 --> 01:03:40.340
that I just sent say, now can I access the app?

1251
01:03:43.140 --> 01:03:45.780
Hunter, do me a favor, send another email

1252
01:03:45.820 --> 01:03:47.420
and address it to me.

1253
01:03:47.420 --> 01:03:50.860
Just say Renee, because otherwise Reagan's getting it

1254
01:03:50.860 --> 01:03:53.820
and she's forwarding it and it's not getting to me.

1255
01:03:53.820 --> 01:03:55.540
All right, I'll, next email will be-

1256
01:03:55.540 --> 01:03:57.260
I don't know, I don't have an email from you.

1257
01:03:57.260 --> 01:04:00.540
So just address it right to me and I will take care of it.

1258
01:04:00.540 --> 01:04:02.980
There's a administration Jackie Dorma,

1259
01:04:02.980 --> 01:04:04.380
but same one she messaged me.

1260
01:04:04.380 --> 01:04:06.060
It's just the admin email.

1261
01:04:06.060 --> 01:04:08.980
Hey, Paul, I think Mike, you closed out last time.

1262
01:04:08.980 --> 01:04:12.500
So Paul, I'm gonna ask you to close out in prayer.

1263
01:04:13.380 --> 01:04:14.220
Me?

1264
01:04:14.220 --> 01:04:15.140
Yeah, sure.

1265
01:04:15.140 --> 01:04:16.340
Okay.

1266
01:04:16.340 --> 01:04:17.940
Father, just thank you for this time.

1267
01:04:17.940 --> 01:04:21.980
And we just ask Lord that you reveal to us more and more

1268
01:04:21.980 --> 01:04:24.300
what it is to be divine masculine

1269
01:04:24.300 --> 01:04:27.720
and to also recognize the divine feminine in others.

1270
01:04:28.580 --> 01:04:29.620
We thank you for this time.

1271
01:04:29.620 --> 01:04:32.420
We ask for your blessings upon Renee

1272
01:04:32.420 --> 01:04:33.580
in Jesus name, amen.