We're going to jump into heart check-in number three, week three, and again, just regardless
of where you're at in your own journey with the book and the material, no worries.
You could be a little bit behind this or you could be in front of it, it's okay, but we're
just going to have some time to discuss the third part, the third check-in, and this is
dealing more with repentance and confession.
We kind of introduced that last week a little bit just by mention, and so a couple just
housekeeping items, just a reminder, as always, doing your heart work and everything, you're
going to want to take one day at a time, of course, right?
And literally, that's kind of like life as it is.
I mean, we can really only take one day at a time.
Scripture even says you're not really promised tomorrow.
So the lesson and the wisdom there is that it's better to focus on right now, the present,
one day at a time, what happened today, and keeping that in mind.
And not that we don't long range plan, but at the same time, we take it with a grain
of salt.
Take it easy.
Take it one day at a time.
Don't quit.
Keep going.
I love the fact that you guys are showing up for these heart check-ins every Monday,
so that's great.
So I really appreciate that.
That tells me and tells yourself that, hey, I'm continuing to go.
I'm going through this process, and I'm seeing it to the end, so that's awesome.
Celebrate your victories and your breakthroughs.
And I'll give you an opportunity to maybe just kind of share a little bit about that,
because I think it's important to celebrate those, however small or great they may be
in this process.
And you may not even realize, you may not even think, hey, something did happen, but
it has nothing to do with the hard work, but that may not necessarily be true.
So go ahead and share any of your wins or any of your breakthroughs or any victories
that you had sometime this week.
So we'll do that in just a moment.
So one of the things that we want to lay down right now is the, well, let's just do that
breakthroughs and victories first before we get into this next area.
So anybody have a breakthrough or victory, a win this week?
Like I said, could be great, could be even just very, very, very small.
Maybe you think it's only something that matters to you, and actually, those are some of the
things that matter the most, especially through this process.
So anybody got anything that you want to share, breakthrough, victory, a win this week?
Anything positive, something to just brag on Jesus for a moment.
I'm happy to share.
Go ahead, Tom.
And if y'all saw my post on Facebook in the kind of what's going on with your heart this
week, I shared some about this, but I was at a church retreat this weekend, and during
one of the worship sets, I really, I felt like God said, you know, I love you, which
he said before, but I felt myself having a very, very strong reaction of telling God,
I don't want you to just tell me that, I want you to show me that, and kind of upset, and
even kind of angry, and I felt a lot like the younger son in the two lost sons story,
when I realized how much I wanted God's promises, or what the end according to that story might
be, my inheritance kind of on my terms and on my timing, and I felt like realizing that
that was kind of the attitude of my heart, helped me kind of have a really big breakthrough
in terms of understanding that if I believe that God is trustworthy, then I can wait
to experience God's promises, in God's timing and on God's terms.
And it opened up a lot of forgiveness opportunities for my parents, where I realized that a lot
of the words were there, but not as much kind of backup option, or backup.
So I'm feeling, it felt like there was such a big, like thorn that came out of the
the ground of my heart and I feel like my heart is softer and I feel more way more peace and also
I feel so grateful to learn that it's not either that the promise won't be kept or it will be
kept but it has to be the way I want it to be. It's that the promise will be kept but maybe
God's way is an incredible kind of breaking of the false dichotomy that I that I was.
Now that's really good. You know it's really important. First thing that came to mind was
you said that God spoke to you and told you that he loved you. There's a lot of people that
really feel like they've never heard God voice or speak to them or like a still small voice
like scripture says never even heard you know any kind of communication from God. So it's important
it's always a win when you have a moment where you feel like genuinely God has you know communicated
with you directly. That's really awesome and that's no small thing for sure because there's
a lot of people that feel like they've never witnessed that. The other thing is it's important
to just like we all we all know principally in our minds that honesty is the best policy and
you know it's all good but from sometimes in our religious rhetoric we feel like we can't be honest
and so you know kind of like you were saying this like you know you're like God I appreciate you
saying this it's really awesome but I really want to feel this you know and God's not I just
want you to know guys that God's not afraid of your real heart posture. He's not afraid of your
emotions. He's not afraid for you to be disappointed or like let down like some people might say oh my
gosh God spoke to you isn't that good enough and it's like well oh you know and then you would feel
guilt and shame for like oh I feel bad for taking this a step further and I just I want to break
that myth because it's very important especially through heartwork. These are some of the myths
and some of the things that people deal with from a spirit of religiosity feeling like oh I couldn't
do that I shouldn't do that and it's just like no God's not afraid of the real you and the real you
sometimes is very has questions has trauma has pain associated these are the opportunities what
I would say that you actually had a breakthrough in heartwork because you being honest about like
hey that's great I'm glad you said that but I really want to feel this and then it caused you
to go further into the inquiry in your heart as to why and as to what's happening and so you
allowed an opportunity for there to be breakthrough because you weren't just satisfied to go oh I heard
God that should be good enough like God's like no I want you to press in I'm okay with you
going asking questions or like wanting more or like almost demanding more like well you know
because he wants to be that close with you wants to be that intimate you wants to be that real
with you and so it's okay for us to go that's great but I really kind of want it this way I
need this because and God understands the reason he's really good that way he actually knows
not only what we're thinking guys this is different God not only knows what we're thinking
he understands why we're thinking what we're thinking so it's like oh just be honest with
God because he already knows what you're thinking but the real the secret or the real awesomeness
of that is that he actually knows the motivation of why you feel that way and so it's not until
you voice that and you come open with that that sometimes you know he's not able to really step
into that because it's almost like you haven't given him permission because you haven't asked
kind of brings new meaning to the scripture that says you have not because you ask not
you ever thought about that Thomas yeah yeah quite a bit like as in like as in
oh usually it's like well I should ask for something like I should
and ask for things and I, because I'm just being humble
or I'm being too, playing too small or whatever.
It's like, no, that's actually some part of the truth.
But part of the other truth in asking is asking
and being willing and feeling like it's okay
to ask for things that we don't think are right to ask
or would be too much, it would be taboo, right?
Or being scared that, or in my case,
I'm frequently scared that I'll ask for the wrong thing.
Right, right, exactly, of course.
And that's the thing, that's the conversation.
It's like, you know, if you were to have a conversation
with somebody that's a person, a human being
that you really, really trusted,
you know, you wouldn't be afraid to ask this question.
You could feel like, hey, I can be honest with you.
I like, you know, this is really,
I'm vulnerable in asking this, but I feel like this is,
you know, something, right?
And then you trust that person so much
that they gave you an honest answer like,
hey, no, no, that's not a dumb question.
That's not a bad question.
I understand, let me help you illuminate, you know,
what's going on or what my response would be
or how, you know, like, why are you feeling that way?
That is the same kind of conversation, prayer, right?
Prayer is just basically talking with God.
It's the same kind of conversation
that God wants to have with us.
We don't always know the why behind the what.
The Holy Spirit does.
God the Father does.
And so when we ask Holy Spirit to reveal things for us,
sometimes it's more of an inquiry.
Instead of you making a statement like I need it this way,
sometimes you might just pose it as a question like,
hey, it's great that you talk to me,
but I kind of feel this way.
Why do I feel this way?
Why do I feel like I need for it to be shown to me
rather than just to hear it or whatever the case may be?
And when you have that honest conversation
to inquire about this, it's like,
man, that's really great, but I also feel this way.
God, why do I feel this way?
I feel like that's not the right way
I'm supposed to feel, right?
I feel that's not good.
But at the same time, that is the way I feel.
So I'm just being honest.
And so I just need you to take this moment
in this conversation that we're having
and just do some revealing for healing.
And that's exactly what happened to you.
It sounds like you got some breakthrough.
That's pretty cool.
So it's working, it's doing, it's happening.
Who else?
Josh, James, you got anything
as far as breakthroughs and victories this week?
Great, small, anything?
Not any big victories.
I think maybe more, I think in the past,
like my birthday is coming up
and I've always, it's kind of a bittersweet day.
You say it's in the past or it's coming up?
Us tomorrow.
Tomorrow, oh, happy birthday.
Thank you.
Yeah, I used to just really hate my birthday.
And I would just quote Joe,
what's that verse?
It's really about, I wish it never existed, whatever,
and it's really dark.
And then I would just joke around that,
and then I would just joke around that,
oh yeah, it's biblical, I just don't like my birthday.
But this year, yeah, I don't know what it is,
but I don't love my birthday, but I don't hate it either.
So I'm more neutral.
I guess there's progress, a little progress.
Progress, yeah.
Yeah, and then yeah, just a little,
like Josh's buddy on Sunday, he treated me out
and then he surprised me with a cake and stuff.
So I was like, oh, that was really great.
It was a good time.
So just like little small dinners have been happening
and just feeling, yeah, in the past,
I used to have a lot more bigger.
I used to really have more, like a lot more friends,
but now it's just more,
I just enjoy like smaller groups now.
Maybe a little more meaningful,
meaning associated with these smaller groups.
Sure, sure, yeah.
And do you have any reason just really simply
why there's such a misery
or hatefulness around your birthday?
Yeah, I mean, I think just being single in the 40s,
so it kind of.
hit me, that this is not where I want it to be. And, you know,
just losing, you know, my mom two years ago, just made it like
worse. Okay. And then so you just kind of think like, oh, you
know, I don't like this life. Okay, what's, you know, I'm just
you just think about okay, a year has passed. How come I'm
the same person? How come I feels like nothing has changed?
I see. Yeah, so just a combination of these. Okay,
okay. I get it. Well, maybe. Yeah. Sounds like you're having
a little bit of progress. And it's great. Shaded even in the
smallest way sometimes. And so that's cool. Good. Maybe there's
some there's definitely right direction there. Yeah. Some
friends I'll take are taking a Korean barbecue after this. So
it's really good time. Cool. Yeah, I like Korean barbecue. I
did that in San Francisco just recently. And then we have a
place that is cream barbecue, too. It's really cool. Fun.
Here in SoCal. Let me know if you're in Irvine area. Yeah,
okay. I'll show you some spots right. Irvine. Okay. Sounds
good. Josh, you have anything? Victory. Stretch and reach.
Come on. I don't have much. Come on. I mean, okay, I did. Some
cork board for the Jesus cares board. So I'm making a step
forward. Okay. The progress on the board. All right. We'll
leave it at that. And I read one chapter I was able to fit that
in last week was it just had a way more overtime going on than
usual because of a security incident that I'm dealing with
at work. So but it's a good thing anyway.
Okay, well, let's, let's, let's talk a little bit about
repentance, because it's kind of like, I know, it may not seem
like it's directly related. But, um, let's talk a little bit
about this, because it's important to understand what
repentance is, first and foremost. repentance, like by
definition is really just coming out of agreement with lies. It's
it's, it's, I don't know, whatever kind of heavy religious
connotations that you've ever experienced or understood about
the word repentance. But so many cultural references and even
religious references, repent, being some sort of like, very
contrite, very humbling, sort of like demeaning sort of scenario
where you're coming to your knees, it's a coming to Jesus
moment, you better repent. And if you don't, bad things are
going to happen. repentance is usually synonymous or in the
same connotation of, you know, really just going low, and just
being very sorrowful or being very just down and depressing,
sort of attitude. And I mean, it can be that's not that, you
know, sometimes there are things that you feel so heavy about
that it, it, it kind of goes that direction. David, when he
repented for the Lord, laid on his face without food and water
for I don't remember what how many, I think it was six days or
something. I don't know, can't remember how long it was. But it
was just an incredible amount of time. And of course, his his
servants and his people and the priests were trying to like, you
know, encourage him to eat and what and he just wouldn't do it
until the child died. And then when he received the news that
the child had passed, this was a child he had with Bathsheba. And
and so when when the child had died, then he lifted himself up,
dust himself off, cleaned himself and went through a whole
cleansing ritual, and then just went back to his life and so
forth. And so this was, you know, a very heavy sort of
repentance sort of thing. But in actuality, repentance is
really just coming out of agreement with lies. It is, it's
a changing of the heart and changing of the mind to see the
truth in a situation, the truth about you, the truth about your
way of thinking and your behavior, a truth and revealing
of your true identity and who you really are. And so all of
those things, when you have a change of mindset of your change
of heart, and you come out of agreement with the lies that are
trying to attack you, and trying to overcome and trying to shape
your life. You have as a result, new ways of thinking and new
behavior, that's
the where we want to get to is the where's the behavior change.
The mindset shift is great, and it's very important. But the
mindset mindset shift has to come before the change behavior
typically, because you have typically when you have a
renewed understanding or a better understanding of what
you're going through, or what you're up against, or what you
the reason you've been behaving the way you've been behaving.
New behavior comes as a result of having that change
perspective. So that's really what repentance is. And
repentance is something that's an ongoing process in our lives.
So as we understand that we are living in a fallen state of
fallen nature, there's a continual process of coming into
renewal coming into agreement with the righteousness coming
into agreement with heaven, coming out of agreement with
the lies coming out of agreement with like for James the
situation like, um, yeah, I mean, even the lamentation or
Job's story is like he rude the day he was born. So, so for
those very specific to job situation, I wouldn't recommend
that as a life of verse, you know, for someone to go around
quoting, you know, this or about your birthday. So, you know,
you know, your birthday, the day of your birth, it should be
celebrated, of course, it should be recognized individuals should
be appreciated for their coming into this coming into this life.
Typically, that's kind of how we do the even the worst of
individuals celebrate their birthday. So it definitely
should be something that you should come out of agreement with
regard to the negativity surrounding your birthday. Now,
why you are in that state is not invalid. I mean, it's, it's the
truth. And you have done some exploration on that. But at the
same time, you should come out of agreement with the lies
that are associated with the, you know, the the troublesome
day of your birthday, that should be celebrated, it should
be a thing of joy. So as you come out of agreement with that,
as you repent of that, things should begin to change. And I
hope they will for you in the coming years for especially for
that day. So it's an ongoing process. And but there are a lot
of things when we don't repent, we continue to believe the lies.
Um, what do we do instead? Anybody know?
When we when we refuse to repent?
I mean, you live and I mean, you just embrace the lies.
Hi, guys. There she is the one and only Jackie.
Yeah, you continue to believe the lies. I don't know what we're
talking about. Can I say something? Repentance? Okay. But
I want to say something to you guys real quick. Okay. I just
the three of you. Is that all? Yeah. Where's Joseph? These are
new guys. Joseph down here tonight. Okay. Now listen, I
want to tell you guys something. I just shared it with the women
because they're having heart check in tonight to guys really
talking to me about us being very aware of the stories that
we tell ourselves. So all of us have like a continuous stream of
consciousness, right? And our stories take shape, they have a
form, they usually sound a certain way. I know that when I
get overwhelmed, I get stressed out, I will tell myself that
it's not worth it to just quit to just give it up. You know, we
have to pay attention to the language that we speak to
ourselves in. And really the stories that we tell ourselves
about what other people are thinking about us, or about
whether we can be successful in a situation. And you have to pay
attention not only to what you're telling yourself, but
when you're telling yourself it. So I want you to be really
conscious of that part of hard work is becoming very self
aware. Because I still tell myself that stuff, because we
can't erase, but we can replace. So even though those thoughts,
those intrusive and obsessive thoughts still come to me, I
recognize them. Now, I recognize when I'm having them,
like, when am I having them? What is the scenario in which
I'm having them, and then I'm able to replace them with truth,
not act on them not react out of them, but replace them with
truth. That's going to be a huge, a huge game changer for
y'all. Good, good. Thank you. Amen. Hope you enjoy Columbia.
Yes, it's beautiful. So
muy caliente. Yes, very hot here.
90s degrees, very humid.
A lot of hot women here, too.
Jackie said there's a lot of hot women, so we might have,
like, we might need to have a men's retreat
to come down here and...
Oh, from our group, she said.
Oh, I thought you just meant the hot women here in Cardiff.
Oh, okay, sorry.
My bad, my mistake.
She said there's a lot of hot women in our group,
so that's good.
So maybe we'll try to have some more of these things
where we can get some people together, so.
All right, so we're talking about repentance.
When we continue to believe the lies, guys,
like Jackie was saying,
we continue to sort of not shift out of the old mindsets.
With that comes usually the parts of our life
where we're not too happy and pleased with ourselves.
And so in order for us to feel happy
and more, like, you know, satisfied,
we begin to, what?
We medicate ourselves.
We medicate ourselves with so many things, right?
We medicate ourselves with hobbies and interests
and things that, you know, not necessarily wrong,
but sometimes can just be unproductive.
We medicate ourselves with,
abuse ourselves with substances.
We abuse ourselves with entertainment.
We abuse ourselves with maybe too much work.
We abuse ourselves, you know,
and all of the taboo things,
sexual impropriety, pornography.
We, you know, we go into fear and loathing
and just depression and just general, you know,
not feeling well.
And so we go into all these things
and we medicate ourselves.
And then of course, medicating ourselves
when we come out of those situations
and we're still medicating,
we come to our senses for a moment.
We feel what after we've medicated ourselves
because we know that it's not productive.
We know it's not good.
We know it's not healthy.
We have a bunch of shame and guilt
that's associated with the things
that we don't feel good about,
but then we medicated ourselves with other things
that we don't feel good about either, right?
So then shame and guilt comes in
and they're the by-product of our choices
or someone else's choices put upon us, right?
So that's what shame and guilt is,
but shame and guilt are not productive kingdom emotions.
They're not.
Sometimes people can get trained to think that,
oh, I should feel ashamed
and therefore that would make me feel guilty enough
to repent and to change my mind
and then I'll be a better person for it.
And it usually never works that way.
Shame and guilt, especially shame as a tool of the enemy,
is constructed in a way to isolate you,
to bring separation in your life
and to cut you off from people and places and things
that will bring life to you,
that will bring health and strength to you.
So shame is an isolator.
Of course, guilt is an inappropriate emotion
because quite honestly,
regardless of whether you jumped in to sin,
my pastor used to say it this way,
you didn't fall into sin.
He said, you didn't fall into sin.
So you'd be like, oh my gosh, I just fell into sin.
I didn't mean to, but it happened.
And the devil made me do it.
You know, he's no, no, no.
You didn't fall into sin.
You took a thimble,
you dug a hole in the ground with a thimble
and then you constructed a ladder with a diving board.
You climbed on top of that diving board.
You filled that hole with water and you dove in.
He said, nobody falls into sin.
You know, we fall, we go into sin of our own volition.
We just have to be honest with ourselves.
We do.
We know it.
We are aware of it and it happens.
So, you know, sin is definitely,
and the things that produce shame and guilt
are byproducts of those choices that we make
and other people's choices that they make,
that we allow them to make.
But shame isolates us and guilt quite honestly
was taken care of at the cross.
We are not held.
If you have received the work of the cross
and you're living on the other side of the cross,
you are,
to blame, or you are guilty, but you are held blameless
because of the blood.
So the feeling guilty doesn't make you better,
only receiving the work of the cross makes you better.
Because you are guilty.
I'm guilty, you're guilty, we're all guilty.
Scripture says that.
For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.
So we're all guilty, but what the work of the cross does,
the blood does, blood applied, it holds us blameless.
That's scriptural truth, that's doctrinal truth.
So it doesn't produce any good in us
for us to allow guilt and shame to motivate us
to do the right thing, because it just doesn't.
It's unproductive.
So one of the questions that we wanna ask ourselves
is like, when we fail and when we're sort of like
down on ourselves and sort of beating ourself up
when we aren't perfect or when we fail,
what are some of the things that happens in those moments?
What are some of the things that we do?
What are some of the things, some of the medications
that we go to that we try to sort of fill ourselves with
or whatever?
Anybody want to confess any of this?
Just meagerly, mildly, whatever it is.
Anybody?
I confess that there's a lot of times when I feel empty
and I feel, I just feel too much in my head
that I want to medicate myself with entertainment.
I go down that social media hole.
The other thing I do is I like to eat snack cakes
and sugary things.
It's the truth.
And I've been battling my health lately.
I was actually in the urgent care a week and a half,
two weeks ago, to where it was like,
I already know I have, you know,
I already know I have a potentially high blood pressure.
I already know that I am, what is it?
I am insulin resistant, which is pre-diabetes.
I have high cholesterol.
I have had high cholesterol in the past.
I'm overweight for sure for my build
and for my size and everything.
I'm considerably overweight.
And I have family history of like heart attacks.
Like my grandfather died of heart attack at 54 years old.
I'm 52.
So, I mean, there's some very real medical things like,
hey, signposts, hello, hello.
But yet you think that I would take any action
to change my diet and my exercise?
Now, I have recently in little ways
been becoming more exercising
and become more conscious of my diet.
But at the same time, I still struggle with that.
Hold on one second,
because there's a bug in the next room.
It's like a Colombian bug.
I've never seen it before.
Go over there.
It's over there.
Here, take one of my shoes right there.
Okay.
Oh, man.
Y'all, he's going to get the bug.
All right, ladies, now we're joining the guys.
We're joining the guys.
Did you take a picture of the bug?
No, kill it and then take a picture of it.
I just heard it.
I just heard it being executed.
It's being executed.
Y'all, we need you.
Gentlemen, we need you.
How big is it?
It was like this big
and it was an unrecognizable bug to me.
This is not an American bug.
This is a Latin American bug.
This is a South American bug.
It's a little big.
Oh, it was a cricket.
Oh, no.
We just killed Mulan's friend.
What's happened?
Wasn't it a cricket?
Oh, it was the ugliest cricket I've ever seen.
Yeah, that takes me back to Singapore.
I lived in the, for a very short time,
lived in the first floor of a red light district.
There's a story behind it.
But the cockroaches there, dude, those things have wings.
They're like four inches long.
They're big.
And they're not afraid of humans.
And then you're sleeping
and they're just all over the floor
and they're like, nope.
All right.
I feel for you, David.
I'm the champion of tonight.
So.
So, okay, so we're back.
I'm just confess to some things.
Anything that, you don't have to go into great detail,
but just something that's like off the top of your head.
It's like, yeah, this is me.
Anybody?
In the past for me, pornography was one of those things.
Sometimes it's sleeping.
Sometimes it's entertainment like movies.
You know, just entertain your mind away through amusement
or working extra for no reason.
I don't have to work extra, but I enjoy my job enough.
I'm just, you know, pouring more out of it.
Yeah, I'll just work more and it's just time.
Nothing wrong with working or being more productive,
but at the same time, it's like,
there's probably some other areas in my life or your life
that maybe it's like,
I could put some more attention over here,
but yet I'm not doing that
because I'm just kind of afraid of this
or I don't wanna deal with this.
And so I'm just gonna like bury myself at work, yeah.
I often call it the skip-go card,
just like there is in Monopoly.
I need something to kill the next two hours
because I don't wanna deal with the emotions
I'm feeling now.
I just need distraction.
And that's really what a lot of guys are doing.
It's an emotional thing.
I just wanna avoid the emotion.
I don't like, I'm a guy, I don't like conflict.
I will avoid conflict lots of times at, you know,
like a very high cost and it's not good.
It's not been productive in my relationships, you know,
where like, and there is such a thing as healthy conflict.
You know, not all conflict is bad, you know.
Matter of fact, if you have more healthy conflict,
sometimes that reduces the bad conflict.
And so lots of times you have bad conflict
because you are unwilling to have healthy conflict, right?
Okay, who else?
I appreciate what both of you are sharing.
I think for me, it was a long journey to realize
that my watching TV wasn't an attempt to educate myself.
It was a way of distracting myself.
Yeah.
And I think in my family,
entertainment addiction and food addiction
are also very present.
And so I think because I was working out a lot,
it was a way of distracting myself
and because I was working out a lot,
it was easy for me also to not think that I had a problem
like with food.
But I think that even though I've made a lot of progress
recently in this area that in past years,
it's been very easy for me to eat a lot
kind of late at night, I think to avoid feeling lonely.
Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
And you know, yeah, you're associating it with like,
hey, I'm not just eating.
I'm like, this is why I'm eating.
Yeah, like, I get it.
So you're like, you're confessing that,
which you're getting that out, that's good.
James, you got anything?
Yeah, food, lusting, just lashing out at family,
what I meant to.
So especially the last one
is probably the most significant, like anger issues.
Yeah, lashing out at family and friends, you said?
Just family, like sister and dad.
Okay, yeah, no, I know.
Like, you might be surprised,
but I can get pretty frustrated behind the wheel of a car
and I can make that funny.
And you know, it's true.
But Jackie made me aware of one thing.
She goes, yeah, she goes, it's funny.
I can't remember if this is a comedian
or if this was an actual news,
some sort of like credible, like psychological study,
but there is true psychology to people,
sometimes people that are,
get really frustrated, angry behind the wheel of a car.
It is a situation where it's not necessarily the traffic
that's causing that person's anger.
They're really angry about something else,
but the road rage is sort of a legalized,
like funny sort of like way to let the rage out.
So it's like, oh, it's just road rage, there's no big deal.
Like nobody, no harm, no foul, right?
Because I'm just yelling at the guy who can't hear me
that cut me off or whatever, you know what I'm saying?
And it's just like, no, that doesn't work.
It's like, it's not that you're truly angry.
Like I would venture to say if you could psychoanalyze
every single road rage incident,
even the situations where people literally stop
and get out of their car and like literally
fight each other.
I had that happen one time,
and I'll tell the story in a second.
But if you were to psychoanalyze that,
I would venture to say that an overwhelming,
probably more than 90% of the road rage
times out of 10 situation is those people are just angry
that I've seen in my life has been caused by a car.
about other things in their life that are causing major
frustration, major anger, major trauma, major, like relational
issues, whatever it is, disappointment in their own
life, just dissatisfaction with their own, you know, inability
to get stuff together, and to whatever, that they're just
taking it out on the road. You know, and so I've been guilty
of that. You know, I've been like, I can't believe, you
know, I'm in a hurry. It seems like in my life, a lot of times,
I'm always in a hurry. It's like, why am I always in a
hurry? My always, I'm late for this, or I've got to go be for
this, or this, or just like, everything's like, hurry,
hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry. It's like, why can't anything just be
like, I'm just going to go down here, and I'm going to take as
much time as, as it is, and the lights are going to do what
they're going to do. And people are going to drive the way they
drive. And it's no big deal. But it just seems to be I always
find myself in a situation where it's just like, I'm constantly
frustrated in these situations. So I've been there, done that,
confess that. And, and that may be your situation to their
teams, where it's kind of like, I'm frustrated. And so lots of
times, we'll take our frustration out on the wrong
places and the wrong people. Because it's okay. Not but it's,
you know, we feel like, oh, this is, you know, I'll have grace
here, you know, this, it's just my family or whatever, or, you
know, these are people that really know me. So therefore, I
can act a fool. Because they won't care. It's no big deal, or
it's not really aimed at them, or whatever, you know, I'm
saying. So there's a lot of times where we're taking out our
frustration on things and people that aren't even the source of
the frustration. And so we got to be aware of that. And we got
to ask ourselves, we got to be honest with ourselves and have
the conversation with Holy Spirit to say, I feel this way.
I feel frustrated. And if you don't know why, then you ask
why. But if you do know why, like, if you're like, okay,
yeah, you know, this is making sense. Because actually, what I
am is I'm frustrated at this. And I'm taking it out over
here. And so you, you know, maybe you might even be aware.
But then go a step further and ask, like, why? Why do I feel
frustrated about this area of my life? Why am I frustrated about
the non productivity? Why am I frustrated? Because I'm still
single, and I feel like I shouldn't be because of whatever
status or age or situation in my life long. So those are the
things, guys, that is why confessing your faults, one to
another, according to James 516, says, therefore confess your
sins one to another that and pray for each other, so you may
be healed. Prayer of a righteous person is powerful and
effective. It's very important, as this is part of this sort of
repentance and confession, repentance being coming out of
the agreement with the lies first should be first of all,
you have to know what the lies are and identify the lies that
are happening. But you have to come out of agreement with the
lies, so that we can have the change behavior. And then lots
of times, we need to confess this behavior, the medicating
the poor patterns of behavior we've been doing as a result of
the problems we're having, and confess those things so that we
can be healed. In this trauma, this is really the secret sort
of sauce in the heartwork. So the first part is giving God
permission, the very going back to part one, giving Holy Spirit
and God permission to work with us and to show us the things, go
through that, be willing to have that conversation. And then
beginning to understand the lies beginning to understand our
heart, what our heart does, what our heart doesn't do, beginning
to understand that the heart is where the repository is for all
of the all of the good and the bad that happens in our life,
that even our whole our own heart sometimes deceives us. And
then understanding that there's lies that we're believing. We're
believing lies about this, believing lies about this
person, believing lies about ourselves, believing lies about
God. And then we'll be we're willing to, to go through and
understand and and have those lies revealed to us. Then it
comes a chance for us to repent, to see the truth, see the lies
for what they are, and take an actual step to repent, come out
of agreement with the lies through the
process of repentance and confession.
And this is the part at which the healing starts
to really come through.
Because as the scripture says, when
we confess our sins to one another
and we pray for each other, then we're healed.
This is where the healing starts to become really felt
and really found in this process.
OK?
And we've done some confessing here tonight, all of us
at the same time in a safe place.
But you can do this in other places,
places you feel safe, other people
that you feel safe with.
I don't know if you have a church community
or if you have people in your life, family and friends,
that you're trusting, individuals or accountability
partners or people that you have already there in a place
that you can have these discussions with.
It's important that you do this and go through this process
in order to really break the power of the enemy.
Because the power of the enemy, there
is one who is arrayed against your soul, who really
has their purpose of your demise in their head.
And they're coming against you, and they
will continue to lie and to present lies,
to present untruth, to get you in this pattern of not
just wild, uninhibited sin, but just render you ineffective.
All the enemy has to do is, he doesn't
have to get you to go out on a bender.
He doesn't have to cause you to be like a drug addict
and just crazy wild in the streets.
All he has to do is render you ineffective,
get you just to do one more hour of a movie,
one more hour of social media, one more distraction,
one more opportunity where he's like, I don't want to engage,
one more situation where you're unwilling to have
unhealthy or healthy conflict in order to resolve some things.
Just kick the can down the road of distraction
and the things that so easily beset you.
That is the strategy of the enemy.
And if we can become aware of that, identify the lies,
come out of agreement, confess our behavior because
of the things we've been believing,
and get some healing from it, now
we can step into some real identity
in terms of who we really are.
And we begin to see some of the change we've
been hoping for and praying for and believing
for for such a long time.
Amen.
I'm actually seeing changes in my body
as I'm actually working out for the first time.
I mean, I've worked out before.
And I've had seasons of where I worked out.
And I used to say, funny, years and years and years ago,
I used to say, yeah, working out just isn't working out for me.
And because I didn't see the change.
I didn't see the, I mean, I knew there was value in it,
but I just wasn't seeing it for me.
And so this time, I'm actually stuck with it enough
along where I've actually seen some change.
And I'm like, whoa, that is amazing.
Like, I can actually, I actually can do this.
I can look in the mirror, and I can actually see some,
I'm liking what I see type thing.
Like, I feel better.
So when you see these little bits of progress,
you begin to have hope that, oh, man, this is possible.
This is, I'm capable of doing this, following the show.
I just got to keep on keeping on.
I got to keep on repenting.
I got to keep on confessing.
I got to keep on the journey of moving forward
in this health development, make it part of my lifestyle.
All right.
And that really kind of goes to some of the fears
that we typically see in this part, which
is like judgment, our own selves judging ourselves,
or other people.
Say, if you try to make a life, how many of you
have tried to make a life change,
and you've had someone else criticize you?
Like, hey, what are you doing?
Who do you think you are type thing?
Like, you're trying to change your life.
You're trying to do better.
Some people, well, I actually have family members
and friends that discourage them from doing good things
with their life.
life, because they don't, you know, your change of value
begins to convict them of their own life. And so then they start
like, hey, you know, who do you think you are? What do you think
you're doing better than we are? Whatever, you know, you stop
drinking, you know, like, what's wrong with you? You know, like,
you can't come out and party with the guys a little bit or
whatever. Like, no, I decided not to do that anymore. Oh, you
know, and they discourage you, they judge you. We judge
ourselves. We also get into this mindset where we feel like
we can't do it. Like, or I've sinned too much. I've just
messed up too much. I just can't ever get it right. And so those
are some of the fears that we need to break during this time.
And during this repentance and confession and confession goes a
long way. And really battling those fears of judgment, those
fears of I can't do it. And those fears of my sin is too
much. Okay. So I want you to go home to the I guess the really
the the work I want to leave you with is you know, continue to do
the questions that are in your assignment in your in your in
your material. And then practice that confession part. Find a
place, find a trusted person to confess to. If you have to start
with looking in the mirror and confessing, that might be a good
place to start. Because sometimes you have to confess to
yourself that this is true that this is what's been happening.
But that might be a place to start. But definitely, if you
find if you can find a trusted friend, somebody is a mentor,
pastor, somebody that you that you're in league with, that you
can confess to begin doing that and begin seeing the healing
that you receive from that process, that repentance and
confession process. Okay. So Father God, I just pray for
these men tonight. I thank you for each one of them that has
shared some of their inner thoughts and their heart and
their minds tonight. And Lord, and I've done the same. And I
just asked Lord that, according to your word, that there would
just be healing that would come to each one of us in a special
way tonight and beginning going forward. And we would continue
in this repentance and confession process, Lord, that
you've outlined and that you're helping us with, that we
continue to have the real conversations, the open, honest
conversation with you. So they get to the root of some of these
things that are lies that we're believing, and have some
understanding about why it is that we feel the way we feel.
And in Jesus name, we pray. Amen. And Amen.
Alright, guys, God bless. Have a great week. And we'll see you
next time for another heart check in.