Hi, ladies.
Happy Memorial Day.
For those of you that are Americans.
All right.
Sorry.
Let me try to get some better light here.
Crazy, crazy light.
Right.
All right.
How are you guys doing?
You doing good?
None of y'all have cookouts tonight.
Nothing going on in your life tonight on Memorial Day.
All right.
Awesome.
All right.
Well, I am filling in tonight because all of our all of our team is off
doing Memorial Day stuff eating brats and hamburgers and you know, doing
all the America things to celebrate freedom with all of the people that
have given their lives for that freedom.
So in celebration of the people so yes, yes.
Yes.
So we're going to start looking to the Lord Father God.
We're so thankful that we get to come here together tonight and that we
get to hear from you.
So we're asking that you would speak to us and through us tonight that
we would open our minds and hearts and spirits to receive your greater
truth about our lives and about our situations and we thank you for
revelation in Jesus name.
Amen.
All right.
So let me kind of take a little poll.
So I know what we're dealing with tonight.
So raise your hand at this is your first ever heart check-in.
Your first ever heart check-in.
You've never been to a coaching session.
You're brand new to the program.
All right.
So help me with your name.
Is it here?
Help me.
I know.
I know it's Irina Irina Irina.
Okay, and in Detra, is that right?
Detra Detra.
Okay, Detra.
Are you guys in week one then you just did week one?
Yeah, I just did week one and I started week two.
Okay, start week two.
All right.
Is anybody else here in week one?
You're still in week one.
Can I see all the hands of week one supernatural surrender ladies?
All right, Tiffany's in week one Veronica's in week one.
All right week two.
Let's see who's in the week two materials right now.
Who's working on week two?
Stephanie is and Suzanne and Irina is and Detra and Yasmina.
Did you raise your hand?
No.
Okay.
All right, then week three.
Who's in confession week?
Who's in that confession week?
Let's see your hands.
All right, Pamela's there and Jessica Damaris and Karen.
Jessica zoom user.
I'm not sure what your name is.
Stephanie Linda Johanna or Johanna.
All right, and then week for forgiveness week.
Let's see who's in the forgiveness week rocking out those forgiveness
templates Lorraine looks like Lorraine is there Joanne is there Stephanie
Ashley.
All right, Michelle and then who is in week five who's about to graduate
to phase two who's in there the real you week.
Remember I said don't dye your hair purple and pierce your nose.
Not quite yet got Diane.
All right.
Awesome.
All right.
So as you can see everyone in the group is in different places in the
first phase and heart work, but a lot of you are in week one two and
three.
That's where a lot of you are kind of concentrated for this go-around
and you guys are getting breakthroughs, right?
You have revealings for healings things are happening.
I know it's so great.
Isn't it?
So supernatural.
I just love it.
So I taught the earlier heart check-in as well and we really focused on
confession.
We ended up really focusing on week three and con confession and on
empathy and on understanding that within community.
It's really important that we get vulnerable.
And so I want to encourage you guys as well.
First of all, go back and listen to that session because it will be
available in replay for those of you that are new your schedule in phase
one is always the same on Mondays at 1 p.m.
Eastern or 8 p.m.
Eastern.
There is a live coaching on this same link every single time.
All right, so make sure that you are tuning in or you're listening to
the replay and the replays can be found in your Facebook group and or
on your Jackie Dorman.com portal.
And so that's super important that you're listening to those replays.
We cannot, you know, I saw a friend's child their young person yesterday.
She just graduated from high school and I said, oh, hey, you're out of
high school and I said, here's the thing that you need to know about
college.
I'm going to tell you no one's going to make you go.
That's the thing you need to know about college, right?
Because a lot of times you live on campus, which she's going to do.
I said, it's going to be up to you whether or not you want to put in the
work and whether you want.
and bass, that's going to be up to you. And so, um, that's how this is as well. So on Mondays,
you have those live sessions. You can watch the replays of those live sessions. But the other
thing is show up in your group, show up to prayer. You have all of these different, beautiful prayer
times, Monday through Sunday. And then Wednesday night, you have all these different things to
choose from supernatural Saturday and Sunday night activation. We had an all prophetic night. Who
came to that last night? Who was there for the all prophetic night? It was fire, right? It was so
good. And, um, you want to make sure that you are just taking advantage of everything. Now,
when you guys get to phase three, you will be on an app. You will be invited to an app.
For those of you that said you're at face, you're, you're at week five of heartwork phase one. Um,
and it's time when it's time for you to go into phase two, make sure that you're emailing us
and asking us to move you. Now, when you get to the app, you won't have to do any of that
because it will happen automatically. Okay. So that's good. All right. So you have to show up,
you have to invest. God is here. He's inviting you. Let's go back to challenge. Remember song
of songs to that scripture about the foxes. He said, will you catch the foxes for me?
And then he said, Oh, for, you know what? On second thought, we'll do it together.
And that is indicative of grace in a season for you to get free. And I believe that you are in
a season of grace to get free from whatever's blocking you from a better life. The good,
good life, the John 10 life in your love life, but also in your financial life and in your health
life and in your relational life. Okay. In your spiritual life, drawing close to God,
you know, understanding who you are and loving self, and then obviously having better
and amazing relationships with others, including your spirit mate. And so this is the invitation
that you're in right now. In this first part, phase one is the secret sauce. And when you get
to phase two, you're going to have a lot of fun over there. You can have a dating challenge. A
lot of people meet their person during that. You're going to have divine feminine and dating
one-on-one because dating is so weird, right? It's not normal. It's not biblical. How do we
do it as Christians? You're going to learn all that stuff over there in phase two, when you get
there, and it's going to be just as fun as this phase. And you're going to continue to learn and
do hard work all through the whole program as you go forward. All right. So for those of you that
raised your hand that were in phase one, please make sure that you're not mailing a week one.
I'm sorry. Don't make sure you're not mailing week one in that supernatural surrender,
that permission slip. Make sure that you are looking at it, that you're praying that teach
me, show me, heal me, grow me over yourself. That you're giving God space, that you're giving
him the pen, that you're realizing that you cannot do anything anymore, that you've done your best,
and now God has to do the rest. Right? We want a supernatural life. Who wants a supernatural
life? Who's tired of what they can do themselves? You're just tired because you know. I know what
I can accomplish myself and it's not a whole heck of a lot and I'm done with it. All right.
That's a good place to be at the end of yourself is a good, good, good place to be. All right.
And then the other thing is for those of you that are in phase two, you're going to start seeing
and understanding how you're made, that you're a spirit that lives in a body that possesses a soul.
And you're going to start deciding, okay. Or discerning is a better word. You're going to
start discerning the things that are spirit and soul and body. Are you guys already seeing that
happen? You're starting to discern, hey, that's my body that's doing that right now. My body is
reacting to that for some reason. My soul, that soul part, that heart part of me, that master
control that's keeping all the information, that's driving the truck right now. That's the thing
that's in control right now. It's my soul part. And then you'll know when you're being led by the
spirit. You guys, we want to be led by the spirit, don't we? When we're led by the spirit,
then we can make the soul and the body get in line. Right? I'm going to tell you,
anytime you use the words, well, I feel you're in your soul. You in your soul. All right. When
you say that. And so what I want you to do, and I feel Holy spirit on this.
When you say the words, well, I feel like, or I feel this. When you say that,
I want you to immediately stop and train yourself that when you start talking about your feelings,
which are good, God's created you to emote. He has, but feelings and emotions are not always
the same thing. And when you say, I feel.
Unhappy or I feel lonely or I feel discouraged or I feel this or I feel that whenever you are saying that I want
You to stop and I want you to see
What you're feeling what you're saying
Want you to ask Holy Spirit to show you where it's coming from. Where is it rooted in?
the soul in the heart part, right, especially if it's a negative feeling that you're having and
And
Doesn't line up with the spirit. Is it true?
It doesn't matter if you feel it your feelings can lie to you. Remember the broken heart Jeremiah 17. It's a liar
It's a pretender
It's an imposter, isn't it?
It's a puzzle
And so we want to make sure that we're paying attention to what it's trying to invite us to do
Because a lot of times almost all the times, you know
These thoughts that we're having in our heart these triggers and a lot of times they're unconscious thoughts
Guys, 98% of your life is unconscious. And so you're having these unconscious thoughts
And
They they kind of manifest as feelings and then those feelings turn into actions, right?
That turn into some sort of consequence whether it's a good thing or a bad thing
So we want to cut that process off at the thought to feeling
We don't always know what our
Hearts are thinking about until we start feeling
And then when you start feeling that is when you start healing
So we don't just feel the feels we heal the feels
Now is this going to require you to become very self-aware a thousand percent
Does that mean that you don't just to get to go off half-cocked and just feel however you want to and just speak however you
want to because remember out of abundance with the overflow of the heart the mouth communicates and
so when we start feeling we start speaking and
And that's how you're gonna find out what's going on because you're gonna hear yourself being negative you're gonna hear yourself
Singing the same old sad song and then you're like, wait a second
How do I get here?
How did I get here I got an invitation to a pity party and I and I checked I'm coming for sure
Right
Or I got invited to a fight with someone and I checked yep, I'll be there
You guys I'm proud of myself because there's been several times lately just
traveling when I'm already exhausted and overwhelmed when someone's just been a straight-up snot to me and they
Invited me to a fight with them and I was like, man
Especially
At the airport because they will ban you and you will never fly again
So you got to make sure that you keep your head on straight
and
And the thing is is that the people that work at the airport know that so I think sometimes they even if they're in
They're having a bad day. They're trying to bait you right don't take the bait
Do not take the bait because they're gonna be fine and you're gonna be on the no-fly list
So make sure that that does not happen
Amen
But seriously, does anyone feel like there have been rogue emotions that have been surfacing?
Trying to drag you down
dark alleys of
Just places you don't want to go who's been experiencing that
Okay
Whether it's trying to drag you into the past and drag you into oh
I should have done this or I should have done that or this person shouldn't have done that trying to drag you into shame
Trying to drag you into sin taking action on something because you are sick and tired of waiting for God to do it
You can go do it yourself
Right
Yes, do you guys know that unbelief is a sin?
Right fear is a sin when I found that out because I used to be like, well, I don't sin
You know, I love Jesus and you know, and I don't sin because I was thinking why you know
I don't drink and I mean
I don't get drunk and I don't go out and do bad things and steal and kill and you know
I'm thinking about all the big things right and then a mentor my life is like
You know, are you afraid and I was like, yeah, he's like, well, that's a sin and I was like, oh oops
But you guys is not about being sin conscious it's about being
cross conscious
The cross the finished work of the cross, right and so when we get drugged down these alleyways
That's when we have to remember that Jesus died for us and he died as us
Instead of feeling bad about ourselves because we can't get it together,
we remember, oh, that's right.
I don't have to get it together.
Jesus got it together for me on the cross.
Now, what I need to do is I need to surrender to him, right?
By grace, I can become who he's created me to be.
I think Paul said it best.
He said, oh, hey, you started this whole thing by faith.
He said, are you now?
He started it all by faith, by grace.
He said, now, do you think you're going to be doing it?
You're going to be made perfect by your flesh?
You started this thing supernaturally.
Do you think that now you're going to naturally finish it?
Right?
Guys, if you could get a hold of that, it would change your life.
It would completely change your life.
So many of you are in the sin shame cycle where you want to do right, even in your
thinking and even in your speaking, but you don't, and that gives more ammunition
to just continue, gives you that shame that actually leads to more of the bad
behavior, right?
That's what happens.
We don't do what we need to do, and then we feel bad about it and feeling bad about
it.
The condemnation that comes from that actually creates more self-medicating and
more bad behavior, unworthy behavior cycle.
So let me see your medicators.
We did that on the first call too.
What are your self-medicators when you just start feeling negative and bad and you
just want to escape?
What is your poison?
What is it that you like to do?
Binge watch Netflix.
What do you got?
Put it in the chat.
Social media.
That's a hole, right?
Can't get out of that hole.
Once you get in TV, junk food shop, retail therapy for sure.
Talk.
Yep.
Binge watch TV.
Scrolling food.
Eat things.
I know we're bad.
Daydream.
Eat stuff.
That's bad.
Sex and alcohol.
Video games, social media, isolation, isolate.
Yeah.
And here's the thing.
If in those moments when we're just feeling so much pain, instead of doing those
things, if we'll just come to the Lord, guys, we could get massive breakthrough.
Right then.
Instead of doing that, if you just come to the Lord and pour your heart out to him and
just say, I'm so tired, Lord, I'm so overwhelmed.
I'm so sick and tired of the same old, same old.
I know that there's gotta be more to this life.
I know that there's gotta be more to this situation.
I don't understand why this won't change or that won't change or this person
continues to torment me.
Lord, I cannot do this anymore.
And then grace shows up and then revelation shows up and then breakthrough
shows up and then you have a Holy ghost party instead of doing anything that's on
that list, all that's going to do is just put off a little longer, the inevitable.
Cause we all know that you're going to end up flat on your face before the Lord
sooner or later.
So you might as well do it now.
Right.
Cause sooner or later, the medicators are not going to work.
It's just going to get to such a high level of overwhelm that you're going to
snot up the carpet with Jesus.
So you might as well go ahead and do it now.
My nanny, she passed away a few years ago, but she was 91 years old.
And you know, when I was a little girl, you know, I, I, I wish I would have met
Jesus back then, but when I was a little girl, I went and stayed a summer with her
and she sang this song.
Um, have a little talk with Jesus, you know, tell him all about your troubles.
He will hear your faintest cry and he will answer by and by see the little
prayer world turn in.
No, a little fire is burning.
Have a little talk with Jesus makes it right.
I had no idea what that meant, but I will tell you I do now.
I do now.
And so I don't know who that's for, who that's for.
Cause I'm sure it's for more than one person.
Um, but one of the things that you have to begin to implement in your
life is bringing it to him who made their Jesus cares board.
You guys, that Jesus Cares board came from a very dark time in my life when the Lord
really showed me that I was very independent in trying to solve all my problems myself.
You know, he spoke to me, he said, Jackie, who do you belong to?
I belong to you, Lord.
Okay.
Who do your problems belong to?
They belong to me, Lord.
I created them.
He said, well, if you belong to me, then your problems belong to me.
And guess what?
I don't have any problems.
And that is when I realized that through communion with him, that I was trying to bear my own
burdens.
I was trying to figure out everything.
I had a very orphan heart, okay, from my background, from being abandoned as a child, from being,
you know, given away to a girl's home, from foster care, from all the things.
I mean, I truly was an orphan for a season of my life.
And that had carried over into my spiritual life.
And a lot of you have the same situations.
You've been abandoned by people.
You've had so many seasons of your life and you didn't have anyone to rely on, but yourself
and God.
And so, and because God felt so distant, you ended up trying to just fix everything yourself.
You were abandoned by husbands and friends and you know, all kinds of bad things have
happened.
And you guys, that, those habits die hard of just relying on yourself.
So I really want you to be focused on those Jesus cares board.
I can't tell you how many times I put stuff up there.
And then when I see it, I pray over it.
I give it back to the Lord.
And every time I start to worry about it again, I remind myself that I've given it
to him and that he's promised to take care of it for me.
And if he needs my help, he'll let me know.
Now y'all, I don't put stuff up there that I know that I need to take care of.
That's a cop-out.
I don't put stuff up there that I know I need to take care of, right?
I can ask God to help me, to give me grace, to do what I need to do.
I do my part, right?
I do my best, but then I rest and I let God do the rest because there's a lot of stuff
that you cannot do.
His part is supernatural.
You do your part and he does his.
And your love story is supernatural.
I just want to release that every all tonight.
It's supernatural.
There are some things that you're going to be required to do, but there are other things
that only God can do.
Only he can do it.
Proverbs says, he's the one that's going to open up your future husband's eyes and
let him see you as a wife.
Proverbs 18.22.
You can't make him do that.
You can't make him do that by wearing a little bit lower cut shirt.
You can't do that by, you know, doing whatever he wants you to do, submitting and just being
so ladylike and proper and great and wonderful.
Okay.
If that's who you really are, then, okay, do that.
But that isn't going to win you a husband, right?
God has to open that man's eyes and show him that you are his suitable partner, that you're
his good thing, but you know what you can do?
So if it's a man's job to find you, it's just your job to be found.
Your job is just to be found.
That means you can't sit in your jammies on your couch and binge Netflix and play video
games and eat a bunch of junk food and shop online.
Whatever it was, you put yourself medicators.
You got to go outside as your best self and when you get to phase two, you're going to
have a dating challenge and you're going to see, but you got to show up as your best self.
You got to be in the right place at the right time with the right heart and then God will
do the rest.
You guys, we used to, we were getting engagement announcements every week, but lately we've
been getting them every day.
I don't know if it's just because it's summertime.
I don't know, but I'm just telling you popcorn's a pop it.
But what all those women have in common is this phase of the program, right?
And all of you are going to have different things to work on.
All right, so vulnerability, who does it well?
Which one of you raise your hand?
Who does vulnerability?
Well, you don't have any problems sharing, letting people in.
You trust people.
Well, you don't overtrust them, but you don't under trust them.
Right?
Yeah.
Mina.
She says she does.
Pamela thinks she does.
Nadine said, I do.
All right, that's good.
And I want you to be vulnerable in this group.
You guys, you have to show up for each other.
Your breakthrough creates breakthrough for others in your group, in your page, post things.
Where are you at?
What are your breakthroughs?
Where are you stuck?
Make sure you do it.
For those of you that are in the confession week, confess in there.
Let it be a confession.
You know, this is a safe space.
You don't have to worry about that.
It's a safe space.
All right. So, let me see.
All right.
How many are on here? 50?
We're going to stay in this main group.
It doesn't look like I have the permission to put you in breakouts.
We're going to share.
I would love for you to keep your shares under 90 seconds long.
So everyone who wants to share can share.
I want you to share what is the biggest breakthrough you've had up to
this point.
And if you can just share what is your,
your, your biggest.
Aha.
Revealing for healing breakthrough that you've had so far.
Okay, Pamela, you want to go.
Hi.
So I had done quite a bit of work before I started this challenge and
I really love it.
But I had a family member that confided in me when I was a child.
And I had struggled with it because it didn't happen to me.
But it happened to a family member that confided in me when we were
children.
And I grew up in a household of secrets.
So she told me a secret.
So I kept the secret.
And I told the secret to my mom, my mom, my mom,
my mom, my mom, my mom, my mom, my mom.
And my mom and her were part of the secret and they allowed it and he
didn't do anything.
Wow.
They felt really, really bad about it.
And I work with a nonprofit.
Group that rescues children.
The sex track from sex trafficking.
So.
I was a child.
And I had a lot of memories,
things that I had forgot about. I never talked about it.
I grew up as an only child. So there was nobody to talk to.
So I just held it all in.
And even when I was going through therapy and having breakthroughs and
doing, you know, before this.
I never talked about that.
And of course it affected me and my relationships.
And so.
You know, and I had to realize I was a child because I felt so guilty
for my cousin.
She had, she struggled in her life.
And but.
You know,
and I'm praying to God to make her latter years better than her former.
And he can do that.
Amen.
So did you get to the part of the materials about secrets?
No.
Oh, well it's in there.
I could write the whole chapter.
Yeah.
What week are you in right now?
I'm finishing three.
Okay.
So you're going to get to the place where it talks about secrets and it
talks about how dangerous they are.
And, you know, and so wait, so everyone put your hand out.
I know everyone wants to share that has their hands up.
Put them down. Someone take a little poll.
I want you to raise your hand based on your sister, Pamela's share.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
So Pamela's is very.
Just.
You know, very detrimental and very destructive.
All right.
See, look at all those hands.
Yeah.
The enemy loves secrets.
Y'all.
He loves secrets. You know why? Because they create isolation.
You know,
I was a child from the age of two around two years old till I was 10
years old, almost 11.
And I had to keep that secret.
Right.
I had to keep that secret and I didn't have to,
but I felt like I had to because I didn't want to ruin my family.
I didn't want to hurt.
Cause I was being molested by a family member by my grandfather,
actually.
And I had to keep that secret.
And it was, it was eating me alive. Secrets will destroy you.
They will kill you.
They're like a cancer, right? There's eat, they eat you.
And so this is a safe space to tell your secrets.
My mom told me a secret about herself before she passed away.
She had never told anyone.
And I just wish that my mom would have felt safe enough to tell that
secret years and years and years before, because I think that.
That secret is part of the reason why she lost her life.
So let's just make, let's make a pact with each other. All right.
Bad vows are bad, but good vows are good. Let's.
make a vow, let's make a pact with each other that we aren't going to be, we're not going
to be, um, secret keepers, right?
We're not, we're ready to tell our truth, God's truth.
We are honorably, right?
We're going to speak the truth and love, but we're not going to, we're not going to turn
a blind eye.
We're not going to be secret keepers.
A lot of us, those secrets started as children and there was nothing we could do about it.
We felt out of control of being able to do anything, right?
But we are not going to do that as we go forward.
We're going to be vulnerable and we're going to James five 16 confess and be healed.
Even if like Pamela, it wasn't anything that we did, but for whatever reason we've been
asked to look away, I want you to raise your hand.
If you experience some sort of sexual violation or abuse, molestation at the hands of a family
member, a sibling, you know, a grandparent and I had an uncle, you know, someone who
was like family, like a honorary uncle, you know, people that you call your aunts or uncles
or grandparents that weren't, but just someone within your family circle has a lot of hands.
And then raise your hand if you just experienced some sort of sexual violation or some other
type of abuse, just in general, not from a family member, but just period, you just experienced
it, right?
So that's a lot more people.
Okay.
So oftentimes, especially if you're a child, you're going to be asked to keep that secret,
right?
Or you're going to be threatened.
You're not even asked to keep a secret, but you're just threatened, right?
You better not tell or whatever.
People are going to not love you anymore.
You're going to get kicked out of the family.
You know, all the different crazy lies that predators tell us in order to keep us silent,
but we are silent no more, are we?
Thank goodness that we live in a day and age where children that are being abused have
a forum to speak up, right, right.
So that's good.
Pamela, thank you for that.
So if any of, if any of you are still holding onto a secret and you really, really want
to release it, you can release it here tonight.
We would love to be the safe space for you to get that off your chest and finally out
of your life.
Because I'm telling you, when you break your silence, it causes breakthrough.
Okay.
And or find someone trusted in your community to tell if that's what you want to do, but
get vulnerable because you have to release that thing.
That's like a powder keg waiting for a spark.
You hear me?
Secrets are powder kegs waiting for a spark.
And you do not want that to blow up in your life and cause dis-ease and disease in your
body.
You don't want it to cause mental and emotional health issues.
You don't want it to cause chaos.
You want to get it out.
Better out than in.
When I did that, did y'all see my high beddies?
I went, and then my, my, my arm was flapping.
All right.
I love it.
Okay.
Stephanie, you're up.
That's it.
We've got the high beddies, all of us.
All right.
You guys, I've been working on those.
They just, I don't know.
They just don't get tight.
All right.
Stephanie, what do you have?
There are actually quite a few Stephanie's tonight, so I didn't know if you meant me
or not.
Yeah.
I do mean you.
Okay.
So my, mine was a secret for years.
I had an affair with my pastors, with my best friend's husband, who was my pastor.
We, I was with him for seven years.
I never told, I didn't tell anybody for a long, long time.
I actually kind of then went out and did weird things and told weird, it was weird to tell
people at work who did not have any understanding of what had happened.
Can I ask one question before you say anything more?
So and this, I just want you to answer this question.
Looking back, do you feel like there was any, there was any spiritual, when someone's
a pastor, that spiritual authority, do you feel like there was any manipulation from
a spiritual place that caused you to want to be, I'm not listening, I'm not giving you
a pass.
Thank you for confessing.
And I know that you're owning your side of the street.
And I know that you feel very remorseful for what you've done, but was there spiritual
coercion there at all?
Did you feel any type of anything like that?
I don't think so.
I, I have gone through this with the, I read the hope.
I went through the hope section, the hope when you did that thing on hope.
And I realized that I, he asked me to go out one night with him and I,
Felt special and it related all back to something when I was in sixth grade and as I haven't understood all that but
What I wanted to share something. Did you feel special because he was your pastor?
Maybe okay. All right. Keep talking. Okay, so
I have
Confessed this I actually have confessed it in front of Christians within the last year and
And some of those people thought I was very brave. Some people just judged me and that's their problem. Not mine, I guess
But I came here
still having deep deep regrets and shame and
The first night I
Think I shared with a few people here that I asked God. What was my main lie? What was what was holding me back and
the lie was I am unforgivable and
When I realized that was a lie and that God had Jesus had already forgiven me I will tell you the last two weeks
Have been I'm a different person like I don't feel that shame. I love it
So that is and I told God if I don't
Experience anything else in this phase one
That would be enough for me because I feel like I can live now. Oh that listen
That's huge because now and I want to tell you this Stephanie when you get into the dating phase
Even though this is part of your public testimony, like you said, and I'm sure that God will use it to help others
Eventually in different ways. This is not something that you need to tell men as you're getting to know them. Thank you
I was wondering about that. I'm gonna get a lot about that
You do not need and for all of you that you know had some sort of you know affair
Maybe you're the villain of your story where you're the person who cheated and you're the person that did whatever
You do not have to disclose that information to anyone as you're getting to know them
I know that we have this desire to kind of layer all of our cards on the table
So whether they'll just you know cut and run or you know, whatever and so you do not need to do that
And you'll hear more and more coaching about you know, when and if to ever
Tell things about your past in phase two. All right. Thank you so much Stephanie for sharing that
I'm sorry. I share one one more quick thing. Sure. I because you're talking about being vulnerable
so I shared that I had I shared the lie and my revelation with my daughter and
She and when I was at her house, and she wrote to me. Thank you for sharing with me last night about your forgiveness journey
I don't know if I've ever clearly communicated that I forgive you, but if not I do I
Hope you can find true peace and forgiveness after getting over this last huge lie
Wow, I love that for you. Yeah, that was awesome. That is so awesome
So many more good things are gonna happen Stephanie. I'm so happy for you. All right, Yamina, you're up
Hi Jackie, hi, thank you
So I did a couple of days ago well actually last week towards the end the revealing for healing
Worksheet and I had um, you know several words, but one of the main words that kept on
has been
kind of I guess haunting me for several years now is abandoned and
When I went through the worksheet of the cycle where it asked when did this first show up obviously?
You know, it's when my late husband passed away
and then I
The story that I was telling myself is I'm always going to be alone and
After that I sat in you know
really
meditated, you know in the quiet with the Lord and
He just I heard in that my spirit you were not abandoned he you know came home to me
After that, I looked up Bible verses to
from
Me to speak over myself that were very helpful
I went to it the Lord took me to Psalm 68 5 a father to the fatherless a defender of the widows is God
In his holy dwelling and then on John 14 to 3 and my father's house. There are many mansions
rooms if it were not so I would have told you I go to prepare a place for you and I will come again and
Receive you to myself that where I am there. You will be also and so that that gave me peace because I know
That my late husband is with the Lord and and that's what keeps me going because I will see him one day
You
Um, but anyways, that was big for me because I was telling that story to myself for quite some time.
And that's so good. You guys pay attention to what she's saying right now. She's saying,
I was telling myself that story. Yes. You guys, we all tell ourselves stories that are not true.
And so Holy Spirit wants to highlight, he wants to actually stop you as you're telling yourself
the story wants to stop you in mid sentence as you're getting a revelation that, wait a minute,
this isn't true. This thing that I'm telling myself, she wasn't abandoned. Her husband got
another assignment. He got another assignment. He went on to his next assignment. He's not in
her past. He's in her future. Yes. Right. And although we'll never stop missing their presence
here on earth with us, you know, I lost, you know, it's just, as I was getting to know my
mother, I lost her and, you know, to heaven, to her next assignment. And cause you guys,
you know, that death doesn't exist anymore, right? Jesus took the keys of death and how death,
when we say that people die, we're actually lying. Oh, well they died. No, they didn't.
They didn't die. They transitioned out of this body, but they didn't die because death is not
real. There's only eternal life. Life is eternal now. And so her husband is alive and well, he's
just not alive in this, in this, um, paradigm and the earth paradigm. He's not, he's not visible.
I should say in the earth paradigm, he can see her, but she can't see him. And so it's important
to understand that her assignment's not over yet, which means she needs a partner.
Right. But it's a continuation of a love story that already is in progress. Yes.
And we have so many, we have so many widows, Yamina, that find that next partner through
this program. And so, and I know that your husband is, is interceding for that for you.
Yes, I believe that. And one more thing, um, Jackie, if I may. So this afternoon I was watching
the, your, the Sunday prophecy for, um, April 28th. And this goes on the heels of, of the,
what I, uh, with the, uh, the revealing for healing, you said in there, I was, um,
I was in shock. You said in there that for whoever this is for, you couldn't have saved them.
You need to go over. You don't need to go over and over reliving the past. I should have,
or I could have, it was not in my power to change what happened and they are safe with Jesus. So let
go now. Jesus is the hero of the story. And I needed to hear that more than you'll ever know,
because, um, my husband was sick for seven years and I took care of him. And, um, I,
I was beating myself up that I didn't do enough. So thank you for that.
You're welcome. That was for me too, because I felt the same way. What should I have done
differently for my mom? You know, we have to understand you guys that they actually,
while we're feeling sorry for them because they've, you know, transitioned, we, we're the
ones that really should be felt sorry for, right. Cause we're the ones that are not in the presence
of Jesus the way that they are. So they get the better gig there. I know that's hard. I'm
really feeling led to show this recent success story of one of my beautiful students from phase
three. She just got engaged, Carolyn. I just really feel like this is just going to really
encourage someone's heart. Um, and I just want to show you, look at the joy there. Y'all just look,
I just want you to see the beauty and the beauty of this. Um, that's just hot off the presses.
She posted those pictures today in our group. And so I just want to, I just wanted to show you
guys that all right, Diane, it's your turn. You're you're muted. Still Diane.
Still muted. There you go. Um, my biggest breakthrough, I believe is just
um, hearing that the Lord wants abundant life for me. I don't think that I've ever really
heard that or believed it. And I've focused, um, I think I've suffered under the whole religious
view of not being eligible to remarry and feeling that, you know, um, it's my fault.
And have you, have you watched my marriage and family, my, I'm sorry, my divorce and remarriage
session yet? Not yet. Oh girl, it's going to rock your world. Yeah. I'm I'm.
I'm looking forward to that, but you just you speak such hope and you really gave me hope and you gave me
permission to believe that
I can have an abundant life with a partner even though my relationship history is a train wreck. I mean
You know, I just I it's the first time I've ever felt hope the first time I've ever felt, you know
Renewed a sense of just anticipation of what the Lord is going to do and I've also not ever
Been in a church that really talked about the supernatural
Much and that is something I believe has I've been missing in my walk with the Lord
And so I'm just I'm just really connecting a lot with with your teaching and just I just have hope now
I just I just really want to thank you and hope is powerful y'all hope changes things
Hope turns into faith that turns into miracles. And so Diane you are on the right track, and I'm so happy for you
Thank you. Yeah, I didn't see nothing yet girl. You just wait God has so much more for you
And so it's so exciting. Also, I want to show this hot off the presses another engagement announcement in phase three
She just posted this guys this woman right here only joined the program in December
Wow
Yeah, so and that happens. So I just want to make sure that
I just I feel led to show you all that. Okay, so we're just gonna go we're gonna continue to go
clockwise here and so
Dietra
Hello, um, I would just like to share a secret the only two people who know the secret are
my two
Ex-husbands, they're only two that know my family doesn't know and so the secret that I've been carrying with me is that I've had two abortions
And then so like my past relationships have all been very short
I'm the one that tends to break up with the guy for whatever reason
so like for my breakthrough
I just feel like the spirit is like trying to tell me like a lasting relationship is possible
When I was on vacation with my parents this week
We met a couple at Dairy Queen and they were telling us that they were reunited after 62 years
Yeah, wow
They went on their first date when they were teenagers and they broke up after that
But they recently reunited because both of their spouses had passed away
Sweet couple and then I listened to two sermons last night from two separate churches
And the first sermon was about a pastor who restored his marriage
He said that he was too busy tending to his flock of the his church
so he didn't have time for his wife and she kind of you know, like got on to him about that and so
He did kind of like what you said we need to do instead of doing the things that we've been doing
like
The fillers he went to Jesus instead and he put his marriage before the Lord
He said now him and his wife were celebrating 25 years of marriage
Awesome. I like that message then another pastor from a different church
He told a story about a 90 year old lady
Whose husband had just passed away and she had on the same wedding ring that he gave her
When they got married which only cost a dollar and she got it through the mail like a mail-order ring
And she never asked for an upgrade and she wore that, you know up up until her death also
But I just thought that was a sweet love story
Yeah, just that it's a lasting relationship is possible
Absolutely, and you guys and a supernatural relationship is possible
So do you sure thank you for confessing that's actually the thing that my mom confessed to me before she passed away as well
Is that she had had abortions and she was so ashamed and had never told anyone
And do you have any living children?
to
Okay on earth earth children because you do have children in heaven waiting for you, too
and my mom got the biggest revelation about that and and so
You know, they forgive you. They love you
You know and you're gonna have a beautiful reunion with them someday and I think an amazing family
revival here on earth
You know a family revival on earth because everything that is trying to stop our siege
Y'all starting to stop our lineage and legacy, you know
All the lies all the tactics of the enemy that try to cut off our you know
Our family line, you know
that means that our family lines important and that you know, God wants to revive and he wants to
You know, allow us to become, you know, people that are kinsmen redeemers.
And I just believe that for you, Dietra.
So I just speak that over you, that you're a kinsmen redeemer and that, you know, you
don't have to grieve that anymore, that you've grieved it.
I, what I hear the Holy Spirit saying is, is you've grieved those children for so long.
It's time for you to, it's time for you to actually celebrate them, you know, and rejoice
over the fact that, you know, that you have children on earth with you, you have children
in heaven waiting for you.
They're already on the next assignment and you have so much to give to family on earth
and that's going to happen.
And kind of around what Dietra was already saying, um, during the Columbia retreat, one
of the students showed me her father, her mother passed away a few years ago and her
father and mother had been married for 40 something years.
And so her father was in his sixties and he really wanted to be remarried.
He was lonely.
And, um, and he, after a few stops and starts with online dating, he actually met a beautiful
woman through someone, someone introduced him to someone and you know, just community
based matchmaking you guys, but he fell immediately in love with this woman.
They got married very quickly, a couple of months.
And my student Kelly said she, everyone loves this woman, that she's great, but it was recently
her father's birthday and his new wife was going through all the photos that of her dad's
trying to get together a picture collage to do for his birthday.
And you know what she found?
She found a picture of her husband and his former wife who had passed away and her, she
was in the picture.
They had been at an event together and for whatever reason, the three of them were standing
in a cluster, like a triangle right together.
It was him and then his former wife that passed away and then she was standing right next
to, it was a triangle of the three of them.
She didn't remember being at that event.
She knew that they had some friends in common, you know, decades and decades ago and they
had been at some person's birthday party or something, but they just happened to all be
standing next to each other for this picture.
Isn't that powerful and crazy?
Super natural stuff, y'all.
Super natural stuff.
All right.
Thank you so much, Deetra.
We need to speak peace shalom over you and God is going to use you to bring so much healing
to other people.
So much healing to other people.
All right.
Have you ever, have you ever asked God to talk to you about your children and tell you
who they are?
You should ask God what their names are because they have names and he'll tell you.
He will.
I wonder if we should do a post-abortive session.
I used to do that in my WOW Women's Ministry.
It's a very powerful session.
I wonder if we have enough women.
We probably do have enough women in this community to do that.
I'm going to think about doing that, Deetra, and we'll actually do that.
We'll do that session and that activation about really finding out more information.
I had a really horrible miscarriage, y'all, when I was a teenager, because remember, I
was living on my own and in foster care and I had a boyfriend and I got pregnant.
And I, I miscarried like around my second, my second trimester.
So like three months or so in, it was a very traumatic event for me.
I was on drugs.
I was doing a bunch of stuff.
So while it wasn't necessarily an abortion, I always felt like, you know, unconsciously
like it was my fault, right?
Because I had, you know, been living terrible life and doing drugs and all the
things. And it was in my thirties that God, during heartwork, that God showed me that,
that situation and showed me that my heart was not healed of that.
And that I still had so much self-bitterness against myself for that traumatic event.
And not only did he heal me of it, Deetra, but he also showed me my daughter Abigail.
And, you know, and her father, my boyfriend, when I was a teenager, he actually passed
away of drugs and alcohol.
God brought me out of that relationship.
You know what? I feel like the story needs to be told because you guys, our love stories
are supernatural. So as a teenager, I had a boyfriend.
I was out on my own.
I was emancipated very young because I lived in a girl's home in foster care.
I got pregnant by that guy.
I was with him for a couple of years.
He got me involved in all, he wasn't a bad person, but he was a traumatized person that
was self-medicating with drugs.
And so I was drugs and alcohol all the time in that relationship with him.
I got pregnant.
I lost the child.
And then right after that, probably about six months after that miscarriage, I no longer
wanted to be there. I was with him for two years.
And then I just woke up one day when I was 18 and a half years old.
And I was like, I'm leaving.
Once again, he wasn't abusive to me, very kind to me, but not kind to himself.
And he eventually ended up dying.
of drugs and alcohol overdose, okay?
Or his heart just stopped.
But I didn't have anywhere to go
and I didn't really have anyone to be with,
but you guys, something inside of me,
which now I know is Holy Spirit,
was driving me out of that situation and away from it.
And so I moved out, moved away.
Like I said, I didn't have really any friends
or anywhere to go or didn't have any family connection,
but I moved two hours away to Columbus.
I was thinking about going to college.
I was thinking about a few things to do.
And then at 22 years old, so two years later, I met Jesus.
I had a radical conversion experience.
I was on fire for the Lord.
And I immediately was thrust
into ministry with prostituted women.
So I was ministering to these prostituted women,
and oftentimes they would end up in the short-term prison
in Columbus, Ohio, which is called The Workhouse.
And I would go to The Workhouse.
Anyone who was sentenced to less than a year and a half
would get sent there, and I would go there
and I would visit these women in prison.
And there was one girl specifically
that was there for about seven months,
and I was going and visiting her every Tuesday.
And I noticed when I was going to visit her every Tuesday
that there was this beautiful, tall,
because I'm tall, and I notice other tall people.
I'm 5'10", so this girl was probably even taller than me,
beautiful blonde, tall girl in the waiting room with me.
And every Tuesday she was there.
And she would go to the men's side for visitation,
and I would go to the women's side for visitation.
And I always wanted to talk to her.
And after a while, guys, over the course of that seven
months, I started noticing that she was pregnant.
She started getting bigger and bigger
every week that I saw her.
And then one week she wasn't there.
And so I said to myself, that girl had her baby.
That's probably where she is,
because she was there every single week, just like me.
And so a few weeks, about a month or even more went by,
and I didn't see her anymore on Tuesdays.
And then one Tuesday she showed up with a baby carrier.
She was there with her baby.
And I just assumed that she was going over there
to visit her baby daddy, right?
And so this day I had gotten there early,
and she had gotten there early too.
And so we were the only two people there,
me, her, and her baby.
And so I went over and I sat down next to her,
and I said, hey, I've noticed you here
over the last six, seven months.
And she said, yeah, I've noticed you too.
And I said, I'm Jackie, introduced myself.
We started chatting.
And I found out that she was driving
over two and a half hours every Tuesday
to come and visit her baby daddy.
And I was like, I said, wow, that's a lot.
And she said, yeah.
I said, you had to go through this whole pregnancy alone.
She said, yeah.
She's like, he's always in trouble.
She's like, he's always in trouble with the law
and with drugs.
And she's like, and she was just so overwhelmed
and all the things, right?
And so as we got talking,
I realized that we had some things in common,
like the place that she was driving to
two and a half hours away, I used to live there.
So I was like, hey, she's like,
I said, what high school did you go to?
And she told me, and I said, oh,
I said my brother's girlfriend went to high school there.
And I told her my brother's girlfriend's name.
She goes, oh yeah, she was in my class.
And so we had some like mutual friends
and all kinds of things, right?
And as we kept talking, I said,
well, where do you live now?
And she said, well, I live in this place.
And I said, oh, I said,
I used to live there before I moved here.
And she said, oh, she's like, that's crazy.
And I said, she said, what street did you live on?
I said, I lived on Long Avenue.
She goes, I live on Long Avenue.
And I was like, really?
I was like, that's a bad neighborhood.
And she's like, yeah, it is.
And I was like, okay.
I said, so, I mean, you guys,
I mean, it's like crack alley, it's a bad neighborhood.
And I was like, oh, I said, do you,
I said, oh, do you know the Dysons?
And she's like, yeah.
She's like, Henry Dysons, my boyfriend's best friend.
And I said, okay, wait, who's your boyfriend?
My baby daddy was her baby daddy.
Right?
Can't make this stuff up, y'all.
And I said, who's your boyfriend?
And she said his name.
And I said, my jaw just dropped.
And I said, I'm Jackie.
And she said, yeah, I know.
I said, no, I said, I'm Jackie.
I'm Jerry's ex-girlfriend, Jackie.
And she said, oh my God.
She's like, what's happening?
And I was like, I don't know.
I was like, it's gotta be God.
Because remember, I'm already a believer.
And I start ministering to her and helping her.
But what I realized, y'all,
is I was looking at that little baby in the carrier.
This would have been my life.
Had Abigail not gone to heaven,
this would have been my life.
Because I'm a very loyal person.
Had I had had that child with that man,
I would have stayed with him.
I would have had God knows how many children with him.
And guess what?
He would have abandoned me for drugs and alcohol
and died at 37 years old.
You see what I'm saying?
And that girl, her name was.
Mary, she did stay with him.
She had another son with him.
She married him.
Then she eventually divorced him
because he wouldn't get clean.
He didn't get clean.
And then she moved on with her life
and he ended up with someone else.
And that someone else found him dead next to her in bed
a couple years later from heart failure.
Do you see how we,
do you see how God was like,
oh no, no, baby girl, you ain't staying here.
We gotta go.
And even though all those years
I had blamed myself for Abigail not staying in my womb
and not coming to live in the earth,
she's very much alive.
She kind of just skipped this life, right?
And because she skipped it,
I also got to skip all that trauma
because I definitely would have been there.
We don't all the time get to see all the things
that could have been and would have been
had we not made a different decision.
And in this case, very important different decision, right?
But you guys, I had no idea
what was drawing me out of there.
I didn't,
I didn't understand.
I didn't know what was causing me to leave that place
because I didn't know that God knew me.
I didn't know he knew me yet.
So I hope that that brings some closure to some of you
and the things that you just don't know
why you did those things.
And you've beat yourself up for stuff
because whatever reason,
but you also don't know had those decisions not been made
and we're all walking in full forgiveness of the father
because of the cross of Jesus Christ,
that your lineage, your legacy
would have gone down a whole different road.
And possibly a road that you couldn't get back
from in this life, right?
There's no doubt in my mind, had I stayed in that space,
I probably would be dead too.
Cause I was getting involved in lots of drugs y'all,
lots of drugs.
But you know, when I left there, I never did drugs again.
So it was circumstantial, right?
It was environmental.
It didn't have anything to do with me.
So that's important.
I think that's really good.
And Deitra, I hope that ministers to your heart
and helps you see that a lot of times
what we think, you know,
Genesis 50, 20 is a real scripture, you guys,
what the enemy means for evil,
God will use not just for us,
but for our future generations.
Had Joseph not been betrayed and sold into slavery
and lied upon and abused and used
in all the things that he experienced,
had that not happened,
then his entire lineage would have died in a famine.
Everybody, dead.
So it's important that we understand.
And I know that our church,
our church experience just tells us that, you know,
nothing good can come from abortion.
Nothing good can come from this or that.
I disagree.
Nothing good can come from your sin.
Really?
That's not what the Bible says.
The Bible says in Romans 8, 28,
I can work all things to the good of those that love me
and are called according to my purposes.
Doesn't it?
And I'm pretty sure all means all.
All means all.
But we're not the,
he's not the one that's gonna keep that.
We're the ones that are gonna keep it from happening
because we don't believe it.
We believe that, oh, you know,
God can work some things to the good,
but good, there's some things that good can't come out of.
Because of some condemnation that we're carrying
or some religiosity that we're carrying.
You guys let go of that.
God can give beauty for any ashes.
And if you are sitting with a pile of ashes still,
it's because you have chosen to sit with a pile of ashes
instead of giving them to God
and letting him make them beautiful.
Amen?
Who wants to, who wants beauty for those ashes?
Who's tired of holding on to a ashtray?
All right.
I want you to put in the chat right now
what you maybe previously have believed
nothing good could come out of
that you're willing to give to God today
and let him show you that the story's not over yet.
That it really does turn to good.
What is that thing?
Put it up.
Losing your mom.
That's Stephanie, I'm rowing that boat with you.
Abusive marriage, come on.
Former abused biological father, sexually abused.
Okay, that's very, that's a deep daddy wound right there.
Yep, the loss of, I think that was a loss of my husband.
Abortion at age 19.
Yes, so cease.
Tread. This has already caused there to be more people coming out and confessing this
lifelong psychological abuse. Come on. Bad financial decisions. You don't have to lay
in the bed that you made Stephanie with those bad decisions. You can lay in the bed that Jesus made
to finish work at a cross. You can loss of husband, five marriages. Cause I have another
student that was married four times. She got married in this, in this, uh, program that's
marriage divorces, broken engagements. Look at all that stuff. I love this big pile of ashes.
God's going to make it beautiful. You believe that
I've seen it. I've seen it with my own eyes and it's really, really real. And it's really true.
Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. Lord. We just thank you that as we surrender these ashes to you
as we give you our pain, you give us back beauty. This is the divine exchange right now. I want you
to picture yourself having that thing and you're just giving it to Jesus at the cross. I want you
to picture yourself laying it down at his feet, giving it to him, right? I want you to picture
yourself, close your eyes, picture yourself doing it right now. You're taking that thing and you're
laying it down that big bag of ashes, whatever that thing is. And I want you to ask him,
I want you to say to him, Jesus, I'm giving you this thing. Say what it is. I'm giving you this
thing. I'm giving you the death of my mom, Jesus. We never got to have an earthly relationship.
I never really got to really have anything with her that I wanted. And I'm bringing that to you.
All the images of all the suffering she went through at the end of her life. I'm just bringing
you all those ashes, Lord. And I'm just laying them at your feet right now. And I want you to
say this next. What will you give me in exchange? Jesus, what will you give me in exchange for this
disappointment? What will you give me in exchange?
Yes, write that down. You might've seen something. You might've felt something. Peace
just might've washed over you. I just been peace that came over you. You felt a release of some
sort. Maybe later on as you go about your night or tonight, when you're sleeping and dreaming,
you're going to experience more. Just go ahead and keep that channel of communication open with
Jesus. If you did feel something, see something, sense something, go ahead and put it in the chat.
What's he going to give you in exchange for those ashes, for that trauma, for that hurt,
for that pain, for that sin? What are you going to get in exchange? Love? Yes. Wonderful.
Loving connection. Yes. Love it. New life. Yes. So good. Healthy, loving spirit, made an
abundant life confidence and boldness. I heard the Lord say, I'm going to, you're going to get
the ability to help reunite mothers and daughters. And I've been able to do some of that.
Even Stephanie was able to just testify to this reconciliation with her daughter at a deeper
level of forgiveness. I love that. And I believe that this is just the beginning.
I've seen so many mothers and daughters reunited and I'm thankful for that.
Hope, love, freedom, peace, love, and acceptance.
Kylie got the revelation that if those things didn't happen, she wouldn't be here right now.
Yes, that's true. Confidence, boldness. The story's not over yet. Friends. The story's not over yet.
Whatever happened, that thing, the story didn't end with that. The story's not over yet. There's
still a chance for a happy ending. And there will be as we surrender these things to the Lord.
Yes. Praise God. Look at all the things that your sisters are putting up in the chat.
All right. Please show up in group. Be vulnerable. This is a, let's keep this going. Okay.
Let's keep this going because this is what causes there to be more and more and more
breakthrough in those layers to peel back faster is when we show up together. Okay. All right. So
when we think about having a specific session, we did have a, like a mom kind of here.
healing session on Mother's Day.
We're gonna have one on Father's Day
on Sunday night activation.
On Father's Day, we'll have that father wound healing thing.
But I think that I'm probably gonna do something
around some of these subjects
just in a specific joint session.
And you guys will see more of that
as you go further in the program.
All right, I love y'all, bless you.
Have a great rest of your holiday.
See you soon, everyone, bye-bye.