WEBVTT

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Tonight is Love Seats.

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If you're new to Love Seats,

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it is just group dating coaching.

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I'm going to answer all the questions

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that I have the answers to.

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But as a community, we're gonna lean into some topics

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that are affecting singles, especially Christian singles,

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especially marriage-minded Christian singles

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on this episode or this session of Love Seats.

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But I have a treat for you.

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First of all, I have a little bit of housekeeping

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that I wanna do really quickly.

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So the app is now open to our community.

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We had our leaders on the app.

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We had our moderators, our single city leaders.

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We had everyone who's on our team in any way, shape,

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or form, whether they are on our team

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or they're a volunteer on our team.

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We had them test out the app for the last few weeks.

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When I tell you that there were lots of little glitches

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and little things that needed to be fixed,

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there were a lot.

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But we felt comfortable enough to go ahead

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and onboard phase three, our men's group,

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and also phase three of our women's group.

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And so all of you that are in phase three, or you're a man,

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you should have gotten an email to join the app.

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You should have got an email that gives you instructions

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on how to download the app and how to create your account.

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Now, for those of you that are like,

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oh yeah, well, I tried to join the app

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and I couldn't get on, but I'm not quite in phase three.

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Well, that's why.

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Because we only granted permissions, okay,

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to the people in phase three.

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It doesn't matter if you can download the app.

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Of course you can download it.

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It's in the store.

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It's in the Apple store.

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It's in the Android store.

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I don't know what the Android store is called

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because y'all's crazy.

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I don't got an Android.

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You have an Android, okay?

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But I will tell you this.

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You have a better camera than iPhones.

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I will give you this.

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You have better camera.

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You do.

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But everything else, I'm not that sure about.

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I know nothing about these Androids.

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But from the Google Play store,

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you guys can download the app from any of those places,

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but it doesn't mean that you can log into the app

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or you can get on the app until we grant you permissions.

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And right now, the only two groups of people

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that we've granted permission are our team

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and our volunteers, our men's group,

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and our women that are in phase three.

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Don't worry if you're in phase two.

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I know you're here tonight

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because this is a special preview of what's to come

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when you get to phase three.

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We didn't forget about you, okay?

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We're gonna let you on,

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but we have to do this in phases and in stages.

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Otherwise, it's gonna be chaotic.

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And so we have phase three coming over now.

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If you're in phase three and you're like,

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I didn't get an email, then check your spam,

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check your junk, and if it's not there,

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email us at admin at Jackie Dorman.

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You guys know that there's just one O in my last name,

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right?

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It's not Dorman.

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It's Dorman, like Norman with a D.

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And you know why I'm asking you that?

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Because so many of you tag me on Facebook

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and you write out my name and you write it out Dorman.

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And that's why that tag never gets to me

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because that is not my name, all right?

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Okay, so make sure it's admin at JackieDorman.com

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and let us know in that subject line,

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you know, phase three didn't get email for app, okay?

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And then tell us in the body of the email, that's fine.

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We're gonna go ahead and forward all of those emails

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to our tech team because one or two things have happened.

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We emailed you, but you just can't find it

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or you are not subscribed to our emails.

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All this time you've been with us

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and you never subscribed to our emails,

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which is why you have been out of the loop so much

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during this whole process.

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And so we gotta get you subscribed

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so that you can receive our emails

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and then you'll be able to get that email

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and get on the app.

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When you get on the app, go ahead and treat it

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just like you would any other community or dating app

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in the way that you need to fill out your profile.

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Put your name in, put where you're from,

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put a little picture of yourself there, okay?

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Put a little profile picture.

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I heard there's a few glitches with the profile pictures.

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And so if it doesn't upload,

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make sure that you use that Google form in the app

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to let us know what glitches you're seeing

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so we can fix those things.

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Because we have a developer that we have paid

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to develop this app for us

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that is working on all of those tickets as we put them in.

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And so make sure that you tell us right away, all right?

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Okay, who's excited?

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The app is so cool, you guys.

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It's so easy to get on.

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Who got on tonight's session from the app?

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You just clicked on a little event calendar

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and you clicked on the link.

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Let me see your avatar hands.

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Raise your little yellow avatar hand

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if you came on here right from the app

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and it was so easy peasy lemon squeezy

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and you loved it and I love it.

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There was no more, where's the link?

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It's right there in the events.

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Look it, so many of you.

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So, so many of you got on right from there.

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I love it.

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Now you notice that there's a resource tab as well

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in phase three, your path phase, your community phase.

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There is a resource tab.

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You notice that there's.

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nothing under that tab as of right now,

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but there will be soon.

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There'll be the ability to book one-on-ones

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with a heart work coach or a dating coach.

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There'll be opportunities to get involved

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with other programs, one-day workshops,

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all kinds of different things that you guys have asked for,

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that you need, that we have,

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but we just haven't known how to give you access to it.

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And so that resource tab is gonna be fully populated here

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in the next couple of weeks,

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and you will be able to get ahold of all the extra services

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that you have been hoping and praying for, okay?

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What else is on the app that you can't see?

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Let me just show you my app quickly.

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Let me show you my app.

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Because I'm an admin and because I'm the owner of the app,

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as you can see here, let me see if I,

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all these groups exist on the app.

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Ooh, look at all those groups, y'all.

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And some of these groups you're gonna be invited to.

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We have a married group on here for all of our alumni

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that have gotten married through this program.

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We have a group for our HeartConnect coaches and leaders.

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If you would love to help out with HeartConnect,

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we would love for you to help out.

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Send us an email.

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If you wanna volunteer in some way, shape, or form,

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you love this community, you wanna give back to it,

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we would love that.

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We have a prayer leader group

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for those that are in the prayer leader.

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We have a heartwork certification program group.

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For those of you that are like,

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heartwork changed my life so much,

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I wanna be a heartwork coach.

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I would love to get trained to be a heartwork coach.

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And guess what?

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If you come, and you show up,

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and you do the work, and the certification,

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and you invest in yourself and in your own inner healing

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to teach and to coach and heartwork,

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we might even bring you on our team.

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If you're gifted at it,

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okay, just because people wanna do it

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doesn't mean that they're necessarily good

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at helping other people process their pain.

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But if you are, and you know how to have good boundaries,

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and you don't get all super involved

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in other people's drama,

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it's a possibility

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that that could be a future thing for you.

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There's a last trip single group.

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Who wants to go on vacation with me?

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I wanna go on vacation with you.

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Who wants to go on vacation with each other?

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Who wants to go on singles cruises and trips?

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You guys, we have an all-inclusive Mexico trip

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to an all-inclusive resort coming up

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in the fall, in November.

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We have a DC trip.

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We have a Austin retreat.

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We have a, is it Vandermuth?

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We have a Christmastown retreat in the Midwest

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that's coming up.

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So many fun things.

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We have that group on here.

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What else do we have on here?

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We have an all-community group.

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That's where everyone shows up to mingle and meet each other

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and look through each other's profiles and all the things.

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All those groups are gonna be available really soon,

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you guys.

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We are just testing out the groups

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that we're allowing you to have access to.

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But all of those groups, if they pertain to you,

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will be added.

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Here's the fun part.

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They will be added to your little kitty, right?

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To your little thing.

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And then you'll see them.

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They'll be populated on your app,

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the places where you can go and you're allowed to go,

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the places you have access to.

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And we'll send you an email letting you know that,

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hey, you now have access to this group or that group.

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Isn't that fun?

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I know that I'm excited about it and I hope you are too.

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All right, so that was the update on the app.

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Pretty soon, we are going to be allowing people

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or letting people or migrating people

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over from the other phases

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and opening some of those fun extra bonus groups.

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Guys, we're even gonna have a Supernatural Saturday group.

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How many of you have ever just been like,

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man, I love Supernatural Saturday.

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I wish that I had a group just to process that stuff.

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Those supernatural things that are happening.

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I wish that I had a place

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where we could talk about that with each other, right?

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And talk about our wins and our testimonies of what happened.

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Yeah, that's there too, right?

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The name of the app in the app store is Last Year Single

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or Your Last Year Single.

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And you guys, you can connect to it from your desktop

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if you don't like to do things on your phone

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and you can also connect to it through your phone.

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Obviously, I do everything on my phone

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and it looks so pretty on the phone.

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It's just so nice.

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And the desktop looks great too,

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but very, very excited about you guys.

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This has been four years in the making, in the coming.

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And guess what?

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Really soon at the end of summer-ish,

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like mid-August to late August, early September,

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we're gonna have our own matchmaking platform

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complete with dating pool,

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complete with algorithm generated matches,

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complete with human matchmakers on our team

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that look over those matches

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and make sure that you're not getting some crazy,

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you know, some crazy glitch in the matrix,

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but you are actually meeting someone

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who would possibly be compatible to you.

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I'm just so excited, so excited about how far we've come.

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And I'm so thankful that all of you have decided

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to get on this crazy love boat.

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vote with us, all right?

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Yes, yes.

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00:10:03.720 --> 00:10:08.560
All right, so super, not super, I'm sorry, single spotlight.

264
00:10:08.560 --> 00:10:10.480
Single spotlight is also gonna be something

265
00:10:10.480 --> 00:10:12.040
that we do regularly.

266
00:10:12.040 --> 00:10:14.440
I wanna encourage you, if you have access to the app,

267
00:10:14.440 --> 00:10:16.720
you're in phase three and you have access right now,

268
00:10:16.720 --> 00:10:19.120
please do most everything over there.

269
00:10:19.120 --> 00:10:22.720
We really want to get you guys used to being over there,

270
00:10:22.720 --> 00:10:24.440
navigating over there.

271
00:10:24.440 --> 00:10:28.680
It has the same kind of thing as Facebook

272
00:10:28.680 --> 00:10:30.800
where there's a community feed in your group

273
00:10:30.800 --> 00:10:32.360
where you can talk to each other.

274
00:10:32.360 --> 00:10:36.200
But unlike Facebook, there's categories to your posts.

275
00:10:36.200 --> 00:10:38.040
You can put it under wins.

276
00:10:38.040 --> 00:10:40.240
If you got a win, if you got a testimony,

277
00:10:40.240 --> 00:10:42.920
you had a great date, you want everyone to know about it,

278
00:10:42.920 --> 00:10:43.920
you put it under wins.

279
00:10:43.920 --> 00:10:45.840
If you have a question for a coach,

280
00:10:45.840 --> 00:10:47.560
you're like, man, I don't know what's going on.

281
00:10:47.560 --> 00:10:49.520
I need to ask somebody.

282
00:10:49.520 --> 00:10:51.080
You put it under ask a coach.

283
00:10:51.080 --> 00:10:52.640
If you have a relationship milestone,

284
00:10:52.640 --> 00:10:56.800
maybe you went level three with someone, you're exclusive,

285
00:10:56.800 --> 00:10:58.280
you wanna shout it from the rooftops,

286
00:10:58.880 --> 00:10:59.800
maybe you got engaged,

287
00:10:59.800 --> 00:11:01.760
maybe you got married and you're still in the group.

288
00:11:01.760 --> 00:11:03.640
It'll go into those relationship milestones.

289
00:11:03.640 --> 00:11:06.240
Maybe you had a breakthrough that was platonic in nature

290
00:11:06.240 --> 00:11:07.800
with a sibling or a parent.

291
00:11:07.800 --> 00:11:11.000
It all goes under those relationship milestones tab.

292
00:11:11.000 --> 00:11:11.840
Why is that?

293
00:11:11.840 --> 00:11:14.560
That's where our coaches can look really quickly and see.

294
00:11:14.560 --> 00:11:17.120
And that way your sisters can also see

295
00:11:17.120 --> 00:11:19.400
and guys in your group, your brothers can see

296
00:11:19.400 --> 00:11:20.240
and cheer you on.

297
00:11:20.240 --> 00:11:22.560
We all wanna cheer for each other's love stories.

298
00:11:22.560 --> 00:11:24.760
We all wanna cheer for each other's breakthrough.

299
00:11:24.760 --> 00:11:26.360
We all wanna cheer for each other.

300
00:11:26.360 --> 00:11:27.320
We do.

301
00:11:27.320 --> 00:11:29.360
Everybody needs people in their corner.

302
00:11:29.360 --> 00:11:30.200
All right.

303
00:11:31.520 --> 00:11:32.880
All right.

304
00:11:32.880 --> 00:11:35.800
Paul, you wanna send that tech question in?

305
00:11:35.800 --> 00:11:37.480
Our tech team can solve that for you.

306
00:11:37.480 --> 00:11:39.520
They can help you figure out how to use

307
00:11:41.040 --> 00:11:43.080
some Microsoft computer.

308
00:11:43.080 --> 00:11:44.560
Y'all know I'm an Apple girl.

309
00:11:44.560 --> 00:11:47.080
I don't know anything about droids or Microsoft.

310
00:11:47.080 --> 00:11:48.560
I don't know nothing about PCs.

311
00:11:48.560 --> 00:11:51.480
I ain't a PC, but I will tell you

312
00:11:51.480 --> 00:11:54.640
that someone on our team can help you for sure.

313
00:11:54.680 --> 00:11:55.520
All right.

314
00:11:55.520 --> 00:11:56.360
So we're gonna do something fun tonight.

315
00:11:56.360 --> 00:11:58.040
This is something that we're gonna do regularly.

316
00:11:58.040 --> 00:11:59.960
We're not gonna do it on Love Seats.

317
00:11:59.960 --> 00:12:00.800
So don't worry.

318
00:12:00.800 --> 00:12:01.680
I am gonna coach tonight

319
00:12:01.680 --> 00:12:03.080
and you are gonna be able to ask questions.

320
00:12:03.080 --> 00:12:05.960
And if you came here to get in the Love Seat,

321
00:12:05.960 --> 00:12:08.440
if you guys didn't know, you can email into us and say,

322
00:12:08.440 --> 00:12:11.160
hey, I have a dilemma that I would like to talk to Jackie

323
00:12:11.160 --> 00:12:14.440
publicly, privately about in the Love Seat.

324
00:12:14.440 --> 00:12:17.720
You can email us and then I will call on you

325
00:12:17.720 --> 00:12:20.200
to come and get in the Love Seat during Love Seats.

326
00:12:20.200 --> 00:12:22.000
But we're gonna start tonight with something

327
00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:23.520
that we're gonna do regularly.

328
00:12:23.560 --> 00:12:25.000
Once again, not on Love Seats,

329
00:12:25.000 --> 00:12:27.200
but on the app, on live streams,

330
00:12:27.200 --> 00:12:29.000
and that is single spotlights.

331
00:12:29.000 --> 00:12:30.600
I've done it a few times,

332
00:12:30.600 --> 00:12:32.760
but I'm gonna start doing it regularly.

333
00:12:32.760 --> 00:12:35.360
And that's where I take someone single,

334
00:12:35.360 --> 00:12:37.760
whether they're a community member

335
00:12:37.760 --> 00:12:40.280
or whether they are, and obviously you're all single,

336
00:12:40.280 --> 00:12:42.960
but anyone who's not currently in a relationship,

337
00:12:42.960 --> 00:12:45.000
whether they are a community member,

338
00:12:45.000 --> 00:12:47.080
someone who is in the group

339
00:12:47.080 --> 00:12:50.280
or someone who's a private client like tonight

340
00:12:50.280 --> 00:12:53.920
and spotlight them, kind of like interview them,

341
00:12:53.920 --> 00:12:55.040
ask them some questions

342
00:12:55.040 --> 00:12:57.520
that you might ask somebody on a first date.

343
00:12:57.520 --> 00:12:59.400
And so tonight, this is the way we're gonna do it.

344
00:12:59.400 --> 00:13:02.680
I have two guys that I'm going to spotlight tonight.

345
00:13:02.680 --> 00:13:03.520
All right.

346
00:13:03.520 --> 00:13:07.320
And they're each gonna get about eight to 10 minutes

347
00:13:07.320 --> 00:13:10.480
to respond to my questions and tell you about themselves.

348
00:13:10.480 --> 00:13:12.680
And then we're gonna have Love Seats.

349
00:13:12.680 --> 00:13:13.520
Okay.

350
00:13:13.520 --> 00:13:17.640
And then at the end, I'm gonna reserve some time

351
00:13:17.640 --> 00:13:19.320
where all of you ladies that are interested

352
00:13:19.360 --> 00:13:20.600
in asking them questions.

353
00:13:20.600 --> 00:13:22.160
And I hope a lot of you will.

354
00:13:22.160 --> 00:13:24.400
We're gonna come back with a little Q and A

355
00:13:24.400 --> 00:13:26.720
with both of the guys that are in our single spotlight

356
00:13:26.720 --> 00:13:27.560
tonight.

357
00:13:27.560 --> 00:13:28.400
Does that sound fun?

358
00:13:29.880 --> 00:13:30.720
All right.

359
00:13:30.720 --> 00:13:31.560
Sounds fun to me.

360
00:13:31.560 --> 00:13:32.480
Let's get started.

361
00:13:32.480 --> 00:13:35.120
Father, thank you that we're able to come together tonight.

362
00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:37.560
I ask that everyone would feel seen, known and loved.

363
00:13:37.560 --> 00:13:40.320
We would learn some things and we would have breakthrough

364
00:13:40.320 --> 00:13:41.880
in the areas where we're stuck.

365
00:13:41.880 --> 00:13:44.120
In Jesus name, amen.

366
00:13:45.680 --> 00:13:46.520
All right.

367
00:13:46.520 --> 00:13:48.200
So first up in our single spotlight

368
00:13:48.200 --> 00:13:53.080
is our friend, the man, the legend, Nitin.

369
00:13:54.200 --> 00:13:57.720
Nitin, I'm gonna put you on here with me.

370
00:13:57.720 --> 00:13:58.640
Hey, Jackie.

371
00:14:05.120 --> 00:14:06.280
All right.

372
00:14:06.280 --> 00:14:07.120
Okay.

373
00:14:07.120 --> 00:14:08.480
Hey, Nitin, how are you doing?

374
00:14:08.480 --> 00:14:09.320
Jackie, I'm doing well.

375
00:14:09.320 --> 00:14:10.600
How are you?

376
00:14:10.600 --> 00:14:11.600
I'm good.

377
00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:12.440
All right.

378
00:14:12.440 --> 00:14:15.120
So I'm just gonna ask you some personal questions publicly,

379
00:14:15.120 --> 00:14:16.640
if you don't mind.

380
00:14:16.720 --> 00:14:20.480
And first and foremost, let's just do some bio information.

381
00:14:20.480 --> 00:14:24.160
So if you would tell everyone watching just who you are,

382
00:14:24.160 --> 00:14:25.960
where you live, how old are you,

383
00:14:25.960 --> 00:14:27.880
and maybe a little bit of your backstory.

384
00:14:27.880 --> 00:14:29.320
Where did you grow up?

385
00:14:29.320 --> 00:14:30.440
What's your family like?

386
00:14:30.440 --> 00:14:32.280
We wanna know more about you tonight.

387
00:14:33.440 --> 00:14:34.320
Well, good evening ladies.

388
00:14:34.320 --> 00:14:35.160
I'm Nitin.

389
00:14:35.160 --> 00:14:36.000
I'm 51.

390
00:14:36.000 --> 00:14:38.280
I'm in Cary, North Carolina.

391
00:14:38.280 --> 00:14:39.880
I grew up in India.

392
00:14:39.880 --> 00:14:43.240
I did my master's in England and US

393
00:14:43.240 --> 00:14:45.480
and have been on a world traveling journey.

394
00:14:45.520 --> 00:14:48.080
So I started my career in Africa,

395
00:14:48.080 --> 00:14:53.080
worked in Europe, UK, Canada, and US is now home.

396
00:14:55.080 --> 00:14:57.640
My parents are, my family is just my younger brother,

397
00:14:57.640 --> 00:15:00.160
my sister-in-law, they live in San Francisco.

398
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:02.480
and with my eight month old nephew

399
00:15:02.480 --> 00:15:06.520
and he is a bundle of joy and fun.

400
00:15:06.520 --> 00:15:09.480
He is quite the guy, I would say.

401
00:15:09.480 --> 00:15:11.880
Quite the guy, I love it.

402
00:15:11.880 --> 00:15:14.200
My parents, go ahead.

403
00:15:14.200 --> 00:15:16.020
Your parents are married, Nitin?

404
00:15:16.020 --> 00:15:20.480
Yes, they've been married 54 years.

405
00:15:20.480 --> 00:15:22.640
Wow, that's amazing.

406
00:15:22.640 --> 00:15:26.000
And your siblings, are they all married as well?

407
00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:27.680
No, just my younger brother, he's married.

408
00:15:27.680 --> 00:15:29.360
That's all, just the two of us.

409
00:15:30.200 --> 00:15:32.040
All right, and what about you, Nitin?

410
00:15:32.040 --> 00:15:35.480
Tell us a little bit about your relationship history.

411
00:15:35.480 --> 00:15:36.520
Tell us about it.

412
00:15:36.520 --> 00:15:37.680
We want the good, bad, and ugly.

413
00:15:37.680 --> 00:15:39.360
We want to know everything.

414
00:15:39.360 --> 00:15:40.200
Fair enough.

415
00:15:40.200 --> 00:15:42.800
So I was engaged in 2003

416
00:15:42.800 --> 00:15:47.800
and it was not really God's idea of my relationship

417
00:15:47.960 --> 00:15:49.360
with my ex-fiance.

418
00:15:49.360 --> 00:15:53.480
So we amicably separated.

419
00:15:53.480 --> 00:15:56.920
Then I, after healing, taking my time,

420
00:15:56.920 --> 00:15:59.640
I had a girlfriend for three, four months

421
00:16:00.760 --> 00:16:03.480
and just didn't feel that it was the right thing

422
00:16:03.480 --> 00:16:04.480
at the right time.

423
00:16:04.480 --> 00:16:06.320
So we kind of moved on.

424
00:16:06.320 --> 00:16:09.240
And I think I tried dating apps

425
00:16:09.240 --> 00:16:12.000
and then Lord finally came to me and said,

426
00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:13.600
it's my way or the highway.

427
00:16:13.600 --> 00:16:16.040
So I had to literally lay down

428
00:16:16.040 --> 00:16:19.600
and just focus on becoming the man

429
00:16:19.600 --> 00:16:21.520
that God wanted me to.

430
00:16:21.520 --> 00:16:25.080
I had the privilege of being under my spiritual mom and dad.

431
00:16:25.120 --> 00:16:29.400
And during at least 10 to 15 years,

432
00:16:29.400 --> 00:16:31.560
I really didn't date a whole lot.

433
00:16:31.560 --> 00:16:34.680
I mean, dates here and there, but nothing concrete.

434
00:16:34.680 --> 00:16:39.320
And after a long lull in not having dated,

435
00:16:39.320 --> 00:16:44.320
I saw Jackie on Chris Wollaton podcast and prayed

436
00:16:44.320 --> 00:16:48.200
and said, hey, let's try to, let's join and see.

437
00:16:48.200 --> 00:16:53.160
And I've been here for almost a year in June.

438
00:16:53.160 --> 00:16:55.600
So I've enjoyed being part of the community.

439
00:16:56.680 --> 00:16:57.560
Love it.

440
00:16:57.560 --> 00:16:59.000
Just almost been here a year.

441
00:16:59.000 --> 00:17:00.960
That means that we're right on time, right?

442
00:17:00.960 --> 00:17:02.760
We're right on time with this single spotlight.

443
00:17:02.760 --> 00:17:03.600
Yeah, I'm having my stuff.

444
00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:04.440
Let's check out.

445
00:17:04.440 --> 00:17:05.839
Oh, someone's not listening.

446
00:17:05.839 --> 00:17:07.480
They're talking in the background.

447
00:17:07.480 --> 00:17:08.319
All right.

448
00:17:08.319 --> 00:17:09.480
I go ahead and I muted them.

449
00:17:09.480 --> 00:17:11.079
I muted you accidentally too, Nitin.

450
00:17:11.079 --> 00:17:12.839
So go ahead and unmute yourself.

451
00:17:12.839 --> 00:17:15.119
Okay, so you guys, we can all relate.

452
00:17:15.119 --> 00:17:17.720
Nitin, you know, he had a few relationships.

453
00:17:17.720 --> 00:17:19.240
He wasn't feeling peace about them.

454
00:17:19.240 --> 00:17:21.119
Raise your hand if that's true for you too,

455
00:17:21.119 --> 00:17:22.800
that you've had a couple of relationships

456
00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:24.280
and you're just like,

457
00:17:24.280 --> 00:17:26.040
I don't really feel like this is the person

458
00:17:26.040 --> 00:17:28.000
that I can partner with for the rest of my life.

459
00:17:28.000 --> 00:17:28.840
Look at all those hands.

460
00:17:28.840 --> 00:17:32.120
So many people that can really relate to that.

461
00:17:32.120 --> 00:17:34.560
And then a lot of us go on dating sabbaticals after that

462
00:17:34.560 --> 00:17:37.080
because we are not sure if our picker is broken

463
00:17:37.080 --> 00:17:39.240
or, you know, what God wants or doesn't want.

464
00:17:39.240 --> 00:17:43.400
And if you haven't watched my relationship anxiety video,

465
00:17:43.400 --> 00:17:44.840
I really want you to watch that

466
00:17:44.840 --> 00:17:45.800
because I think a lot of times

467
00:17:45.800 --> 00:17:47.840
we can get in our own way, right?

468
00:17:47.840 --> 00:17:49.960
And getting God's way with things that he's doing.

469
00:17:50.600 --> 00:17:53.680
But we want to learn from those things and move forward.

470
00:17:53.680 --> 00:17:56.680
So Nitin, what I would love to know now is like,

471
00:17:56.680 --> 00:18:00.880
what are you doing, you know, in the area that you live,

472
00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:02.480
which is close to Raleigh, right?

473
00:18:02.480 --> 00:18:04.720
Raleigh, is that where you're close to?

474
00:18:04.720 --> 00:18:08.000
Okay, so what are you, like, what do you do for fun?

475
00:18:08.000 --> 00:18:09.400
What are your hobbies?

476
00:18:09.400 --> 00:18:11.480
What's your spiritual community there like?

477
00:18:11.480 --> 00:18:13.440
What do you love about your spiritual community

478
00:18:13.440 --> 00:18:14.280
if you have one?

479
00:18:14.280 --> 00:18:16.200
Tell us some things about that.

480
00:18:16.200 --> 00:18:18.120
Well, I'm definitely an outdoorsy person.

481
00:18:18.120 --> 00:18:20.440
So I'm an avid hiker and skier,

482
00:18:20.440 --> 00:18:24.040
and I've been blessed to have some great parks in the area.

483
00:18:24.040 --> 00:18:28.440
So it's generally walk and hiking definitely on a Saturday.

484
00:18:28.440 --> 00:18:29.440
I love skiing.

485
00:18:29.440 --> 00:18:33.360
I went out West last year to Jackson Hole.

486
00:18:33.360 --> 00:18:35.480
It was amazing skiing in the West.

487
00:18:35.480 --> 00:18:38.760
If you haven't, and if you love, highly recommend.

488
00:18:38.760 --> 00:18:43.760
Other than that, I love dancing, cooking, traveling.

489
00:18:44.720 --> 00:18:46.520
I've done a couple of road trips this year

490
00:18:46.560 --> 00:18:49.000
to DC, Pinehurst, North Carolina.

491
00:18:50.080 --> 00:18:51.760
I'm a voracious reader.

492
00:18:51.760 --> 00:18:54.040
I used to be a drummer with my worship team.

493
00:18:54.040 --> 00:18:56.480
I haven't picked up the drums in a while,

494
00:18:56.480 --> 00:18:59.680
but music is quite a love for me.

495
00:18:59.680 --> 00:19:04.680
I tend to have a balance between outdoor activities

496
00:19:06.080 --> 00:19:07.120
and indoor activities,

497
00:19:07.120 --> 00:19:09.360
as in sometimes I just watch Netflix,

498
00:19:09.360 --> 00:19:14.360
catch up with friends, exploring the city, new restaurants.

499
00:19:14.640 --> 00:19:17.400
I think I just enjoy the simple pleasures of life,

500
00:19:17.400 --> 00:19:21.120
and I know when to wedge out, just relax,

501
00:19:21.120 --> 00:19:24.720
have my own time, and then also socialize when I need.

502
00:19:25.880 --> 00:19:28.160
Well, Nitin, you are a man about town.

503
00:19:28.160 --> 00:19:29.280
Look at all those interests.

504
00:19:29.280 --> 00:19:30.120
I love that.

505
00:19:30.120 --> 00:19:31.440
You know, still waters run deep.

506
00:19:31.440 --> 00:19:32.880
I wouldn't have known much,

507
00:19:32.880 --> 00:19:34.520
I wouldn't have guessed the drummer part.

508
00:19:34.520 --> 00:19:35.480
That's amazing.

509
00:19:35.480 --> 00:19:37.680
And ladies, we know we like the drummers.

510
00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:39.000
You guys know you do.

511
00:19:39.000 --> 00:19:42.320
Okay, so what is a book that you've read recently

512
00:19:42.320 --> 00:19:44.280
or in the past that's really changed your life

513
00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:47.160
and if you're not a reader, a podcast, a sermon,

514
00:19:47.160 --> 00:19:50.280
anything that has been impactful for you?

515
00:19:51.400 --> 00:19:56.400
That's a, I have to, give me a sec.

516
00:19:57.960 --> 00:19:58.800
That's okay.

517
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:08.400
the book. Yes. It could be anything. Um, what's the name of the book? Um, oh,

518
00:20:10.720 --> 00:20:17.520
I'm drawing the author. Uh, no, I'm just drawing a complete blank. I'll just put it this way.

519
00:20:17.520 --> 00:20:23.520
It was a book about the change you want to bring in yourself, right? It was written by a secular

520
00:20:23.520 --> 00:20:32.080
author, but it was amazing the way he described faith in a non, in a very secular way and how to

521
00:20:32.720 --> 00:20:39.040
basically focus on meditating. So I took the gist of the book from the book and I started

522
00:20:39.040 --> 00:20:45.040
practicing meditating the Christian way. So I have really seen some tremendous, um,

523
00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:52.080
I would say breakthrough in my quiet time with the Lord. Um, and I just, I'm learning just to

524
00:20:52.080 --> 00:20:59.200
be more quiet, not ask questions and just listen to the Lord. And it is just so amazing how I get

525
00:20:59.200 --> 00:21:05.680
answers, directions, um, to the questions that I have, including stock investing in stocks.

526
00:21:05.680 --> 00:21:12.560
It has just been a very amazing, um, spiritual discipline that I'm developing. And I really

527
00:21:12.560 --> 00:21:18.080
enjoy being in the presence of the Lord. It just does wonders to me, especially when, if I had a

528
00:21:18.080 --> 00:21:26.240
hard day at work. Um, and as I said, uh, following God is my passion. I used to work, um, last year

529
00:21:26.240 --> 00:21:32.320
and 23 years in corporate America. And, uh, God told me finally to start my own business.

530
00:21:32.320 --> 00:21:38.480
Um, so last year he started sowing the seeds and this year I went a hundred percent being an

531
00:21:38.480 --> 00:21:44.560
independent consultant for oil and gas company. It is a tough journey, but it is good because

532
00:21:44.560 --> 00:21:50.320
they're really, I'm passionate about changing people, changing the marketplace and then running

533
00:21:50.320 --> 00:21:57.120
my own company on biblical values. So that's, I love that. That is so amazing. You're an amazing

534
00:21:57.120 --> 00:22:02.560
guy. I love all of those things. And it's so true about quieting our minds. It's so hard.

535
00:22:02.560 --> 00:22:07.520
It's such a, you know, it's a, it's a practice. It's an ancient practice, you know, and a lot of

536
00:22:07.520 --> 00:22:12.240
times we think that's new agey, but it's not, you know, the Bible talks about being still

537
00:22:12.880 --> 00:22:17.680
and knowing that he is God. You know, it talks about, you know, just, you know, being in his

538
00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:21.920
presence and being in a secret place and all the different things. And, um, you guys, I did a

539
00:22:21.920 --> 00:22:26.640
supernatural Saturday about that, about just sitting and letting God talk and you listening

540
00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:30.800
guys, remember that supernatural Saturday. And so that's powerful. So Ned, and we just want to thank

541
00:22:30.800 --> 00:22:33.760
you for being in the single spotlight. And I know that we're going to have lots of questions for you

542
00:22:33.760 --> 00:22:38.160
in Q and a, I have lots of questions that I could ask you right now about, Hey, you know, what are

543
00:22:38.160 --> 00:22:41.840
you looking for in a woman? Or are you willing, even though you haven't been married and you don't

544
00:22:41.840 --> 00:22:45.600
have any kids, you want some kids? Like I have a lot of things to ask, but I'm going to let the

545
00:22:45.600 --> 00:22:50.320
ladies ask. So ladies, go ahead and write down your questions for Nitin. And at the end of today,

546
00:22:50.320 --> 00:22:55.920
you will be at the end of this session, you will be able to ask Nitin and our next single spotlight,

547
00:22:55.920 --> 00:23:00.080
which is Chris. And I'm going to bring him up right now. So Nitin, thank you so much.

548
00:23:00.800 --> 00:23:07.920
And we will be back with you a momentarily. Okay. All right. So much fun. Y'all. I love it.

549
00:23:08.720 --> 00:23:15.680
Guys. No, I love it. Now, some of that stuff would not be appropriate for a first date question and

550
00:23:15.680 --> 00:23:20.800
answer session, but you know, I can do what I want because I'm in charge of this session.

551
00:23:20.800 --> 00:23:27.360
And so I do what I want. All right, Mr. Chris, hello. Chris is right here in Austin, Texas.

552
00:23:27.360 --> 00:23:30.960
He's one of my private clients. You're like, Hey, I haven't seen Chris around.

553
00:23:30.960 --> 00:23:36.880
That's because he is a private, a private referral. And so he's great. I actually know

554
00:23:36.880 --> 00:23:42.000
him in person. I can vouch for him, but I'm going to go ahead. Even though I know a lot about him,

555
00:23:42.000 --> 00:23:44.480
I'm going to ask him some questions. Chris, what's your favorite drink?

556
00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:50.320
You better say the right thing. Oh, but gosh, uh, that would be matcha tea, Jackie.

557
00:23:52.560 --> 00:23:57.440
I could probably, uh, wax eloquent about matcha longer than anyone here wants to hear about it.

558
00:23:57.440 --> 00:24:03.120
But, uh, the, the backstory there is that I used to have a matcha tea e-commerce company,

559
00:24:03.120 --> 00:24:10.320
uh, where I direct sourced matcha from Japan and, uh, uh, sold it here in the U S so Jackie was,

560
00:24:10.320 --> 00:24:17.440
uh, a big matcha aficionado before I shut it down. Yes. So Chris and I met through matcha.

561
00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:23.680
He was selling matcha at my church, like bizarre. Um, I go to Bethel Austin and he was selling

562
00:24:23.680 --> 00:24:30.480
matcha. So he was the matcha matcha man. And, um, that is the best matcha I've ever had. I just want

563
00:24:30.480 --> 00:24:35.360
to let you guys know that right now. Okay. So Chris, we want to know all about you. So tell us

564
00:24:35.360 --> 00:24:40.320
everything. How old are you? Where are you from originally? I mean, we live in Austin right now.

565
00:24:40.320 --> 00:24:45.920
Um, you know, what's your family like, tell us a snippet of your, of your childhood and then tell

566
00:24:45.920 --> 00:24:52.160
us why you're in Austin. Yeah. So I'll try and hit all of those points. I was born in Washington, DC.

567
00:24:52.160 --> 00:24:59.120
Uh, I'm 38 now. Um, but, uh, initially born in Washington, DC spent my first year of life in DC.

568
00:24:59.120 --> 00:24:59.920
And then, um,

569
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.760
My parents moved us out to Northern Virginia, and at the time, it was the wild frontier

570
00:25:04.760 --> 00:25:09.960
with cow pastures and golf courses, and they said, oh, the development will never get out

571
00:25:09.960 --> 00:25:15.040
here, and of course, today, that's the Tech Corridor and AOL and, you know, all, you know,

572
00:25:15.040 --> 00:25:17.680
just the whole exploded out there.

573
00:25:17.680 --> 00:25:23.000
And so, most of my life, I did in the Northern Virginia area, went to college about an hour

574
00:25:23.000 --> 00:25:29.000
south of D.C., and other than three years out in Northern California at a little church

575
00:25:29.000 --> 00:25:36.760
called Bethel, most of my life journey has been in the D.C. area, working in D.C. mostly

576
00:25:36.760 --> 00:25:42.480
for the federal government, and then I moved out to Austin three years ago.

577
00:25:42.480 --> 00:25:49.280
The Austin move was literally, and I know that your audience, Jackie, is probably a

578
00:25:49.280 --> 00:25:56.040
little bit more familiar with this sort of story, that the Lord gave me a vision of a

579
00:25:56.040 --> 00:26:04.640
U.S. map and then highlighted the state of Texas, and I ended up having about an eight-month

580
00:26:04.640 --> 00:26:09.200
journey with the Lord of, like, are you really telling me to move to Austin, and then it

581
00:26:09.200 --> 00:26:18.520
became very clear that he was, and I moved to Austin in faith with no job lined up and

582
00:26:18.520 --> 00:26:26.000
not really sure what I was doing, just trying to say yes to Jesus the best I could.

583
00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:31.920
Me too, a U-Haul, no place to live, no reason to be here that I knew of except God told

584
00:26:31.920 --> 00:26:33.880
me to come, so I appreciate that so much.

585
00:26:33.880 --> 00:26:36.000
So, tell us a little bit about your love life, Chris.

586
00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:37.000
You've never been married.

587
00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:38.080
You don't have any children.

588
00:26:38.080 --> 00:26:40.840
How close have you gotten to being married?

589
00:26:40.840 --> 00:26:47.160
Never married, no kids, never engaged, and longest relationship probably eight months,

590
00:26:47.160 --> 00:26:54.200
and like the journey that a lot of the people in this group can probably identify with,

591
00:26:54.200 --> 00:27:00.040
you know, plenty of relationships where they didn't feel like I was the one and relationships

592
00:27:00.040 --> 00:27:05.360
where I didn't have peace, I didn't feel like it was the right thing, and so still looking

593
00:27:05.360 --> 00:27:15.320
for the connection and the person that feels like is the right person, the spirit mate

594
00:27:15.320 --> 00:27:16.320
for me.

595
00:27:16.320 --> 00:27:22.640
Yeah, no, awesome, all right, and okay, so tell us a little bit, so your parents, are

596
00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:23.640
they married?

597
00:27:23.640 --> 00:27:24.640
Do you have any siblings?

598
00:27:24.640 --> 00:27:25.640
What was your childhood like?

599
00:27:25.640 --> 00:27:30.360
Tell us just a tiny bit about like, what was, were you raised a Christian, were you raised

600
00:27:30.360 --> 00:27:31.360
in the church?

601
00:27:31.360 --> 00:27:33.840
I was not.

602
00:27:33.840 --> 00:27:41.960
I was basically raised secular and had a dramatic encounter with Jesus in the summer before

603
00:27:41.960 --> 00:27:44.720
my junior year of high school.

604
00:27:44.720 --> 00:27:50.800
Essentially, some friends at school started witnessing to me, and I had this narrative

605
00:27:50.800 --> 00:27:56.360
in my mind where I said, you know what, I'm 99% sure that this God stuff is a load of

606
00:27:56.360 --> 00:28:01.600
hooey, but on the 1% chance that I'm wrong, eternity is a very long time to regret a mistake,

607
00:28:01.600 --> 00:28:06.920
and so I went on this journey in high school where now in hindsight, I recognize it was

608
00:28:06.920 --> 00:28:14.720
the Holy Spirit who was drawing me, but I had a dramatic encounter with the Holy Spirit

609
00:28:14.720 --> 00:28:21.600
in my bedroom, very much a Saul to Paul conversion the summer before my junior year, and a number

610
00:28:21.600 --> 00:28:24.000
of things happened as a result of that.

611
00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:31.320
One was that I was dramatically and supernaturally healed of clinical depression and suicidal

612
00:28:31.320 --> 00:28:32.320
ideation.

613
00:28:32.320 --> 00:28:40.000
It just, I went back to school after that experience when school got back in, and everyone

614
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:42.920
was like, who are you, and what did you do with Chris?

615
00:28:43.120 --> 00:28:46.320
It was just such a dramatic transformation.

616
00:28:46.320 --> 00:28:52.040
I'm still the only believer in my family, so my parents were married up until my mom

617
00:28:52.040 --> 00:28:58.240
passed away a year ago, unfortunately, and so my family has still been kind of dealing

618
00:28:58.240 --> 00:29:06.400
with the repercussions of that, unfortunately, but up until that point, even though I was

619
00:29:06.400 --> 00:29:09.920
the only believer in my family, my parents were married.

620
00:29:09.920 --> 00:29:12.280
I'm the oldest of three boys.

621
00:29:12.640 --> 00:29:17.000
My one younger brother's in New York City, and the other younger brother is in Northern

622
00:29:17.000 --> 00:29:18.000
Virginia.

623
00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:19.000
All right.

624
00:29:19.000 --> 00:29:24.040
We're going to ask you all kinds of crazy questions later about like, you know, different

625
00:29:24.040 --> 00:29:27.360
things that have to do with romance and different things about like, hey, if you're going to

626
00:29:27.360 --> 00:29:29.640
take us on a first date, where would you take us?

627
00:29:29.640 --> 00:29:34.040
And all those different things, but I really want to ask this question of you two.

628
00:29:34.040 --> 00:29:38.280
What is a recent thing that you read or heard that was transformational for you?

629
00:29:38.520 --> 00:29:40.000
Oh, this is a fun question.

630
00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:41.000
The meditation?

631
00:29:41.000 --> 00:29:42.000
Yeah.

632
00:29:42.000 --> 00:29:46.200
Yeah, so I'll touch on three things.

633
00:29:46.200 --> 00:29:50.200
I think it would be hard for me to narrow it down even to three things, because depending

634
00:29:50.200 --> 00:29:56.200
on my mood, I don't know if anyone else identifies with this, but depending on my mood, it can

635
00:29:56.200 --> 00:29:59.720
be a list of 15 things.

636
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.220
Um, the three I'll touch on one is, uh, this is not actually a book, but it's actually

637
00:30:05.220 --> 00:30:10.300
a set of teachings and Graham cook, who some of you might be familiar with, has a online

638
00:30:10.300 --> 00:30:12.820
platform called brilliant TV.

639
00:30:12.820 --> 00:30:18.440
And I have just been inhaling his, uh, messages and content and everything.

640
00:30:18.440 --> 00:30:23.820
Just Graham has been such a tremendous influence and mentor in my life, even though he has

641
00:30:23.820 --> 00:30:24.820
no idea who I am.

642
00:30:24.820 --> 00:30:31.140
I've never met him, but just, you know, through his, uh, what he produces, um, his content

643
00:30:31.140 --> 00:30:37.180
on renewing of the mind and transforming the mind and, and your belief system.

644
00:30:37.180 --> 00:30:38.980
Absolutely revolutionary for me.

645
00:30:38.980 --> 00:30:40.980
Uh, the second book would be atomic habits.

646
00:30:40.980 --> 00:30:43.460
Uh, I don't know, some of you might have read it.

647
00:30:43.460 --> 00:30:45.300
It's absolutely fantastic.

648
00:30:45.300 --> 00:30:51.660
Very practical, not a Christian book, but it's very practical, um, talking about the,

649
00:30:51.660 --> 00:30:58.300
the exponential influence and the exponential impact that, um, habits have in your life

650
00:30:58.300 --> 00:31:03.180
and building and cultivating habits and how that can transform you, uh, over time.

651
00:31:03.180 --> 00:31:06.700
And then I think the third one would be, uh, bill Johnson's book, hosting the presence,

652
00:31:06.700 --> 00:31:12.020
uh, bill and Chris both write so much amazing stuff, but if I had to pick one that's impacted

653
00:31:12.020 --> 00:31:17.220
me the most, it would be hosting the presence because that's something that I want to be

654
00:31:17.220 --> 00:31:19.260
a resting place for Holy spirit.

655
00:31:19.260 --> 00:31:26.220
I want to be someone with whom well, um, and so that really resonated with me.

656
00:31:26.220 --> 00:31:27.220
That's so good.

657
00:31:27.220 --> 00:31:32.460
Those are all amazing books and people and transformative content.

658
00:31:32.460 --> 00:31:33.700
So thank you so much for that.

659
00:31:33.700 --> 00:31:37.860
And I will tell you ladies this in case you're going to ask later, I know Chris in person.

660
00:31:37.860 --> 00:31:41.900
So I can tell you that I'm five 10 and you guys know I'm a sturdy girl.

661
00:31:41.900 --> 00:31:44.380
I'm about almost 200 pounds right now.

662
00:31:44.380 --> 00:31:46.060
And Chris makes me feel small.

663
00:31:46.060 --> 00:31:47.060
Okay.

664
00:31:47.860 --> 00:31:50.780
Cause he's, he's a, a, a, a big gentle giant.

665
00:31:50.780 --> 00:31:53.420
He is taller than me and makes me feel little.

666
00:31:53.420 --> 00:31:57.060
And that's hard to do with me because I'm, you know, I'm a big in.

667
00:31:57.060 --> 00:31:58.060
All right.

668
00:31:58.060 --> 00:32:00.660
And so as my daughter, my daughter's like, mom, you're a big in.

669
00:32:00.660 --> 00:32:01.660
I'm like, I am.

670
00:32:01.660 --> 00:32:02.660
I'm a big in.

671
00:32:02.660 --> 00:32:04.820
Cause she's a little in, she's only five, three.

672
00:32:04.820 --> 00:32:05.820
Okay.

673
00:32:05.820 --> 00:32:06.820
So Chris, thank you so much.

674
00:32:06.820 --> 00:32:07.820
Um, appreciate you.

675
00:32:07.820 --> 00:32:10.820
And we're going to guys write down your questions.

676
00:32:10.820 --> 00:32:11.820
Okay.

677
00:32:11.820 --> 00:32:17.180
So we're going to have a Q and a time here really soon after we do some love seat action.

678
00:32:17.180 --> 00:32:18.180
All right.

679
00:32:18.180 --> 00:32:21.180
So if you were told you're going to get in the love seat, I know Bina is going to go

680
00:32:21.180 --> 00:32:22.380
first.

681
00:32:22.380 --> 00:32:25.740
Let's go ahead and get Bina spotlighted here.

682
00:32:25.740 --> 00:32:30.940
And then if you were also told via email or via a direct message or some kind of posts

683
00:32:30.940 --> 00:32:37.780
that you were going to be in the spotlight or in the love seat, in the hot seat, then

684
00:32:37.780 --> 00:32:44.420
please get, get on deck, send me a little message right now and say, I'm here, Jackie.

685
00:32:44.420 --> 00:32:45.420
So that I know.

686
00:32:45.420 --> 00:32:46.420
All right.

687
00:32:46.420 --> 00:32:47.420
There's beautiful Bina.

688
00:32:47.420 --> 00:32:48.420
Check her out.

689
00:32:48.420 --> 00:32:49.420
Actually.

690
00:32:49.420 --> 00:32:50.420
Bina knows Chris too.

691
00:32:50.420 --> 00:32:54.540
And Bina, Chris and I were meeting at a coffee shop to talk about what he wants in a future

692
00:32:54.540 --> 00:32:58.800
wife and Bina walked in, um, and she was there for a meeting.

693
00:32:58.800 --> 00:33:00.760
She had never been to that coffee shop before.

694
00:33:00.760 --> 00:33:02.900
So she, uh, she and Chris are friends.

695
00:33:02.900 --> 00:33:04.220
She knows Chris as well.

696
00:33:04.220 --> 00:33:06.860
And she also lives here in Austin, Texas.

697
00:33:06.940 --> 00:33:12.020
Guys, if you're on here, she is maybe still in a relationship because I don't know what

698
00:33:12.020 --> 00:33:13.020
she's about to ask me.

699
00:33:13.020 --> 00:33:14.580
I know she was talking to someone.

700
00:33:14.580 --> 00:33:15.580
Okay.

701
00:33:15.580 --> 00:33:16.580
So Bina, what is your question?

702
00:33:16.580 --> 00:33:17.580
What's your dilemma girl?

703
00:33:17.580 --> 00:33:18.580
Um, okay.

704
00:33:18.580 --> 00:33:22.940
I feel like I'm in my head with this guy, still dating him.

705
00:33:22.940 --> 00:33:33.340
Um, it's been eight weeks now and I, my, so week six, I started to, uh, started feeling

706
00:33:33.340 --> 00:33:38.180
anxious about like, okay, it's, it's been a minute since I've been dating him and we're

707
00:33:38.180 --> 00:33:42.220
consistently seeing each other one to two times a week.

708
00:33:42.220 --> 00:33:49.620
Um, and most of the things that I've noticed about him initially are like super positive

709
00:33:49.620 --> 00:33:50.620
thing.

710
00:33:50.620 --> 00:33:51.620
I love his character.

711
00:33:51.620 --> 00:33:52.620
I love how respectful he is.

712
00:33:52.620 --> 00:33:59.580
Um, he feels very safe, emotionally thoughtful, considerate, uh, peaceful, very patient and

713
00:33:59.580 --> 00:34:02.780
super tender, just very protective.

714
00:34:02.780 --> 00:34:06.820
Um, there are some differences as far as like lifestyle.

715
00:34:06.820 --> 00:34:08.659
Like I am a busy body.

716
00:34:08.659 --> 00:34:11.860
I didn't realize how much of a busy body I am.

717
00:34:11.860 --> 00:34:14.860
No, not nosy.

718
00:34:14.860 --> 00:34:16.860
I just do a lot of things.

719
00:34:16.860 --> 00:34:17.860
Um, he's a homebody.

720
00:34:17.860 --> 00:34:24.860
He likes to stay at home and sit on the TV.

721
00:34:24.860 --> 00:34:27.500
Um, he doesn't have very many hobbies.

722
00:34:27.500 --> 00:34:33.380
He likes to go hiking, but like the last hike that he went on is God knows how long.

723
00:34:33.380 --> 00:34:38.699
Um, and so like activity wise, we're in two different places.

724
00:34:38.699 --> 00:34:43.460
The other thing that was kind of on the forefront of my mind is kind of, uh, spiritual depth

725
00:34:43.460 --> 00:34:44.460
and compatibility.

726
00:34:44.460 --> 00:34:47.780
Cause I didn't really hear him talk about like his faith.

727
00:34:47.780 --> 00:34:55.620
He mentioned that he listens to, um, like somebody on podcasts and for 13 years he was

728
00:34:55.620 --> 00:34:59.940
working on the weekends and this last April he started a new job where he.

729
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.360
off on the weekends and Saturday and Sunday he works out in the morning and he said he

730
00:35:05.360 --> 00:35:12.320
listens to a podcast so this past Sunday when I saw him I was like hey so we were just talking

731
00:35:12.320 --> 00:35:17.440
about the day and I was asking him how his workout was and you know what podcast he listened to he's

732
00:35:17.440 --> 00:35:23.920
like oh I only listen to them whenever I'm like kind of in a like feeling down or whatnot and so

733
00:35:24.640 --> 00:35:30.640
I felt like it was at a place where I'm like all right it's it's eight weeks I really need to

734
00:35:31.200 --> 00:35:37.440
know like yeah where is this going and are we spiritual spiritually compatible so

735
00:35:37.440 --> 00:35:41.920
in asking him like how what how does his faith show up in his life he's like well

736
00:35:41.920 --> 00:35:47.920
you know I know I should go to church my my parents go to church and my sister goes and

737
00:35:47.920 --> 00:35:51.680
he was actually alluding to Bethel Austin his sister told him to go I was like well if you

738
00:35:51.680 --> 00:35:56.480
want to go I used to go there I could visit with you he's like well I'll come to church with you

739
00:35:57.760 --> 00:36:02.080
and I I told him he could go and then in retrospect I'm such an internal processor

740
00:36:02.080 --> 00:36:07.520
like after the fact is like I'm like I do not want him to come to church with me regularly

741
00:36:08.240 --> 00:36:14.080
because I want it to be about like his own journey and for him to have his own place to go to

742
00:36:15.040 --> 00:36:27.440
and I yeah so I'm kind of the other things that I've noticed in between like differences in us

743
00:36:27.440 --> 00:36:33.040
is that I'm very much like a planner and I have my weekends planned out like I know what I'm

744
00:36:33.040 --> 00:36:40.000
gonna do like a couple weekends and ahead of time and he's very spontaneous so I have preemptively

745
00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:48.160
left space on my weekends so that when he asks because he always has like hey can we hang out

746
00:36:48.160 --> 00:36:53.680
this weekend or I want to see you I'll let him know like I have Saturday afternoon open or whatnot

747
00:36:55.840 --> 00:37:01.920
and for the most part that's worked except when it didn't and then I got really irritated

748
00:37:01.920 --> 00:37:07.440
because of kind of like lack of communication on his part I told him I was available and I

749
00:37:07.440 --> 00:37:12.800
didn't hear from him so I just kind of planned the next day accordingly because I didn't hear

750
00:37:12.800 --> 00:37:18.400
from him and then he let me know in the morning that he was available in the afternoon I just

751
00:37:18.400 --> 00:37:24.880
let him know hey I didn't hear from you and so I went ahead and planned my day hopefully I could

752
00:37:24.880 --> 00:37:33.200
see you during the week if not I'll catch you when you get back from out of town so I more so just

753
00:37:33.200 --> 00:37:38.720
wanting input I don't know if I'm feeling anxious about it like in my head thinking because the

754
00:37:38.720 --> 00:37:43.440
point where I noticed like at six weeks where I was feeling anxious is when I took a picture with

755
00:37:43.440 --> 00:37:50.640
him and to me like when I take a picture with somebody it's more like oh this is I guess the

756
00:37:50.640 --> 00:37:58.800
significance that I take or I put on taking a picture with somebody is like they're gonna be

757
00:37:58.800 --> 00:38:07.680
there more long term than us dating um short term if that makes sense so what I'm getting from you

758
00:38:07.680 --> 00:38:12.800
is that hey we're eight weeks in and it's been fun and I really do like hanging out with him

759
00:38:12.800 --> 00:38:18.240
but I'm not really sure if this is going anywhere and I really feel like it's time for me to call it

760
00:38:19.360 --> 00:38:24.480
like I'm either going to invest more in this because I feel like this is you know that this

761
00:38:24.480 --> 00:38:30.640
is it's it's yes until it's a no and you're wondering is it a no is it a no now or do I

762
00:38:30.640 --> 00:38:34.400
keep going forward with a yes so there's a few things that you've said that stand out to me

763
00:38:34.400 --> 00:38:38.880
first of all you have different personalities and as long as they're complementary friends

764
00:38:38.880 --> 00:38:43.760
complementary opposites are my favorite match when I'm matching people I look for complementary

765
00:38:43.760 --> 00:38:50.160
opposites what does that mean that means that you have the same foundational truths right you want

766
00:38:50.160 --> 00:38:56.000
the same things in life whether that's you know marriage and family um your values and your goals

767
00:38:56.000 --> 00:39:00.560
are very similar things but the way you're going to go after that is going to look different you

768
00:39:00.560 --> 00:39:06.240
know one person might be a planner like like bina is and the other person might be a little bit more

769
00:39:06.240 --> 00:39:12.560
spontaneous you know in our family you know my husband's very slow and I'm very fast and so if

770
00:39:12.560 --> 00:39:20.080
you want something done fast you ask me if you want something done right you ask him okay um if

771
00:39:20.080 --> 00:39:24.240
it's important that it's done perfectly or right like wallpaper you're gonna ask him you're not

772
00:39:24.240 --> 00:39:28.240
gonna ask me because I'm gonna put it up really really fast and it's gonna have some bubbles in

773
00:39:28.240 --> 00:39:34.720
it it's not gonna be the thing and so it doesn't sound to me as of right now like y'all have that

774
00:39:34.720 --> 00:39:40.640
in common foundation it sounds like he is familiar with faith but doesn't really hasn't really

775
00:39:40.640 --> 00:39:47.120
explored his own he's got people around him that have explored the faith people that he's close to

776
00:39:47.120 --> 00:39:55.040
like family members but he right now is not either hungry enough or or hurting enough please listen

777
00:39:55.040 --> 00:40:00.000
to what I'm saying he's not hungry enough or not hurting enough to make his relationship with God

778
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.200
God personalized.

779
00:40:02.520 --> 00:40:04.600
Usually that's what happens to us, isn't it friends?

780
00:40:04.600 --> 00:40:08.760
We either get hungry, okay, for God,

781
00:40:08.760 --> 00:40:09.600
because we're just like,

782
00:40:09.600 --> 00:40:11.000
there's gotta be more to this life than this,

783
00:40:11.000 --> 00:40:12.600
or we're hurting.

784
00:40:12.600 --> 00:40:14.560
And that is when we, you know, ask.

785
00:40:14.560 --> 00:40:16.040
And he said kind of something to you like,

786
00:40:16.040 --> 00:40:18.760
hey, I only listen to them when I'm depressed

787
00:40:18.760 --> 00:40:22.440
or when I'm down, when I need like a pick-me-up, right?

788
00:40:22.440 --> 00:40:27.440
So that's kind of a situation where it's a situation

789
00:40:27.800 --> 00:40:32.800
where it's about how is this gonna make me feel better?

790
00:40:33.680 --> 00:40:37.200
You know, how is this going to, you know,

791
00:40:37.200 --> 00:40:39.160
give me a solution to a problem,

792
00:40:39.160 --> 00:40:42.040
but I'm not gonna invest kind of my life into it,

793
00:40:42.040 --> 00:40:45.360
which Bina is not the way that you live your life.

794
00:40:45.360 --> 00:40:48.480
You know, your faith is one of the most important things

795
00:40:48.480 --> 00:40:49.320
to you.

796
00:40:50.240 --> 00:40:51.840
Now, I do wanna say this.

797
00:40:51.840 --> 00:40:54.960
I wanna say this, that in marriage, ladies,

798
00:40:54.960 --> 00:40:57.240
and there are a few exceptions to this,

799
00:40:58.040 --> 00:40:59.240
but I have seen very few.

800
00:41:00.080 --> 00:41:03.240
Yes, a man is called to lead in the home.

801
00:41:03.240 --> 00:41:04.200
And what does that look like?

802
00:41:04.200 --> 00:41:07.320
That looks like covering, and it looks like protecting.

803
00:41:07.320 --> 00:41:09.240
It looks like serving.

804
00:41:09.240 --> 00:41:13.560
But the woman is usually the social director of the home.

805
00:41:14.840 --> 00:41:16.320
And that includes church.

806
00:41:17.600 --> 00:41:18.560
It does.

807
00:41:18.560 --> 00:41:21.320
Anywhere, anything that's socially oriented,

808
00:41:21.320 --> 00:41:22.920
the woman is gonna be the one,

809
00:41:22.920 --> 00:41:25.240
not that you're kicking and dragging a man to church,

810
00:41:25.240 --> 00:41:26.360
but you're gonna be the one

811
00:41:26.360 --> 00:41:29.240
that is the social director of your family.

812
00:41:29.240 --> 00:41:30.400
Now, Bina, where I come from,

813
00:41:30.400 --> 00:41:33.040
busy body means something different than what you mean.

814
00:41:33.040 --> 00:41:34.920
You mean you're like, your body is busy,

815
00:41:34.920 --> 00:41:36.240
and you're out doing things.

816
00:41:36.240 --> 00:41:38.000
Where I come from, a busy body is someone

817
00:41:38.000 --> 00:41:38.840
who's poking their nose

818
00:41:38.840 --> 00:41:41.360
in other people's business all the time, okay?

819
00:41:41.360 --> 00:41:44.680
But you're saying that I like to be social.

820
00:41:44.680 --> 00:41:45.920
I like to do things.

821
00:41:45.920 --> 00:41:47.680
I'm an active person,

822
00:41:47.680 --> 00:41:49.800
and this man just works and goes home,

823
00:41:49.800 --> 00:41:54.640
unless I instigate him to come out socially.

824
00:41:54.640 --> 00:41:56.280
Now, you guys, that's okay.

825
00:41:56.280 --> 00:41:58.200
That could be a complimentary opposite match

826
00:41:58.200 --> 00:42:00.960
if that was the only difference between the two of them,

827
00:42:00.960 --> 00:42:03.440
because you notice that he's willing to go out.

828
00:42:03.440 --> 00:42:05.000
He's willing to go have fun.

829
00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:08.920
He's just not the one that's initiating it, okay?

830
00:42:08.920 --> 00:42:11.320
The bigger disconnect here is that this man

831
00:42:11.320 --> 00:42:15.960
doesn't have a faith experience of his own, okay?

832
00:42:15.960 --> 00:42:17.080
And the other thing is,

833
00:42:17.080 --> 00:42:19.080
and I want you guys all to remember this,

834
00:42:19.080 --> 00:42:21.760
this is not missionary dating that I'm about to talk about.

835
00:42:21.760 --> 00:42:25.240
I'm not asking you to evangelize your dates,

836
00:42:25.240 --> 00:42:27.440
but when you're getting to know someone

837
00:42:27.440 --> 00:42:29.920
and they're still level two, they're friends,

838
00:42:29.920 --> 00:42:32.920
a lot of people, they really would like

839
00:42:32.920 --> 00:42:35.520
to have a spiritual community,

840
00:42:35.520 --> 00:42:37.600
but they're not gonna go alone.

841
00:42:37.600 --> 00:42:39.520
A lot of people won't go anywhere alone.

842
00:42:39.520 --> 00:42:40.720
Now, I'll go anywhere alone.

843
00:42:40.720 --> 00:42:41.880
I'll go to the movies alone.

844
00:42:41.880 --> 00:42:44.640
I'll go to eat alone, but some people are not like that.

845
00:42:44.640 --> 00:42:49.040
They feel very intimidated walking into a place alone,

846
00:42:49.040 --> 00:42:50.960
especially a church.

847
00:42:50.960 --> 00:42:53.920
And so I don't think that it's a bad idea

848
00:42:53.920 --> 00:42:56.560
for you to introduce him to the Bethel community,

849
00:42:56.560 --> 00:42:58.320
especially since you used to go to church there

850
00:42:58.320 --> 00:42:59.600
and it ain't your church anymore.

851
00:42:59.600 --> 00:43:01.800
So there's no hair off your nose,

852
00:43:01.800 --> 00:43:03.920
kind of so to speak, right?

853
00:43:03.920 --> 00:43:05.600
But at the same time,

854
00:43:05.600 --> 00:43:08.480
what someone does with that introduction is up to them.

855
00:43:08.480 --> 00:43:09.480
Do they keep going?

856
00:43:09.480 --> 00:43:11.920
Do they find community there?

857
00:43:11.920 --> 00:43:13.760
Do they get involved in a small group?

858
00:43:13.760 --> 00:43:16.280
Are they really seeking spiritual community

859
00:43:16.280 --> 00:43:18.760
and mentorship and accountability?

860
00:43:18.760 --> 00:43:20.040
That's gonna be on them.

861
00:43:21.960 --> 00:43:24.360
And so I think that you have to have a,

862
00:43:25.720 --> 00:43:27.800
excuse this kind of language,

863
00:43:27.800 --> 00:43:29.280
but you're gonna have to have a come to Jesus

864
00:43:29.280 --> 00:43:31.000
with your friend, a come to Jesus moment

865
00:43:31.000 --> 00:43:34.040
where you just say, hey, listen, I really enjoy you,

866
00:43:34.040 --> 00:43:38.200
but my faith is the most important thing in my life.

867
00:43:38.200 --> 00:43:40.640
And it doesn't seem like we're compatible here.

868
00:43:40.640 --> 00:43:42.120
We're compatible in a lot of other ways,

869
00:43:42.120 --> 00:43:44.440
but it doesn't seem like we're compatible here.

870
00:43:44.440 --> 00:43:47.520
And I don't know how to get past that.

871
00:43:47.680 --> 00:43:50.800
And I don't know how to get past that.

872
00:43:51.720 --> 00:43:55.680
Okay, because my vision for my life is to be with someone

873
00:43:55.680 --> 00:43:58.680
and eventually marry someone and have a family with someone

874
00:43:58.680 --> 00:44:01.120
who also has made their faith

875
00:44:01.120 --> 00:44:03.360
the most important thing to them.

876
00:44:03.360 --> 00:44:05.560
And so you guys, this doesn't have to be a put down.

877
00:44:05.560 --> 00:44:08.400
It doesn't have to be a judgmental conversation.

878
00:44:08.400 --> 00:44:12.320
It can just be a really honest and vulnerable conversation.

879
00:44:12.320 --> 00:44:14.680
But I think after two months of dating solidly

880
00:44:14.680 --> 00:44:17.120
and seeing each other every week locally,

881
00:44:17.720 --> 00:44:18.680
I think it's definitely time for you

882
00:44:18.680 --> 00:44:21.080
to kind of tell him where you are.

883
00:44:23.120 --> 00:44:24.880
And you guys, I know that a lot of you are like,

884
00:44:24.880 --> 00:44:26.280
okay, yeah, they're definitely gonna break up

885
00:44:26.280 --> 00:44:27.360
after she says that.

886
00:44:27.360 --> 00:44:29.520
And she should, because he's not where she is.

887
00:44:29.520 --> 00:44:31.840
Well, I have a private client right now

888
00:44:31.840 --> 00:44:36.400
who got married to her kind of boyfriend

889
00:44:36.400 --> 00:44:37.840
after this conversation,

890
00:44:37.840 --> 00:44:41.560
because that caused him to be hungry.

891
00:44:43.120 --> 00:44:45.120
Not just to please her,

892
00:44:45.160 --> 00:44:48.120
but remember I said two reasons, hungry or hurting.

893
00:44:48.120 --> 00:44:50.760
And sometimes our saltiness and our desire

894
00:44:50.760 --> 00:44:53.120
to serve the Lord and to make that

895
00:44:53.120 --> 00:44:54.680
the most important thing in our lives,

896
00:44:54.680 --> 00:44:56.320
it's other people are like, well, wait a minute.

897
00:44:56.320 --> 00:44:58.800
If all these great, wonderful, beautiful women,

898
00:44:58.800 --> 00:45:00.400
she's doing this with her life.

899
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.440
life. And she's wonderful and great. I'm missing out on a

900
00:45:02.440 --> 00:45:05.880
whole nother layer of my life by not exploring this part of

901
00:45:05.880 --> 00:45:10.160
myself. And guess what, he explored it, this other guy, he

902
00:45:10.160 --> 00:45:15.760
explored it, and he had an encounter. And he continued to

903
00:45:15.760 --> 00:45:19.240
grow and continue to get under accountability and mentorship.

904
00:45:19.280 --> 00:45:23.120
And eventually they got married. And they married now. And they

905
00:45:23.120 --> 00:45:29.980
have a baby. All right, so it's not you guys, it's not. It's

906
00:45:29.980 --> 00:45:32.700
sometimes both and it's not always either or, especially

907
00:45:32.700 --> 00:45:34.940
since it sounds like this guy has a lot of green flags, except

908
00:45:34.940 --> 00:45:39.820
he's not a planner. And so these green flag people, we want to

909
00:45:39.820 --> 00:45:43.100
make sure that you know, if we are playing a different role in

910
00:45:43.100 --> 00:45:48.300
their life, if we're here to introduce them to the place

911
00:45:48.300 --> 00:45:51.180
where they could go and they could grow and have encounter,

912
00:45:51.180 --> 00:45:53.420
then let's make sure that we're doing that. We're not just

913
00:45:53.420 --> 00:45:56.300
cutting them off and dismissing them and acting like they're

914
00:45:56.300 --> 00:45:59.820
inferior to us, because they have not had those experiences

915
00:45:59.820 --> 00:46:04.180
yet. Yet being the word, but remember, it's a slippery slope.

916
00:46:05.020 --> 00:46:07.060
If you're anxiously attached, and you're trying to make

917
00:46:07.060 --> 00:46:10.020
excuses for someone which Bina is not, trust me, she's not an

918
00:46:10.020 --> 00:46:13.740
anxious attacher at all. If you're trying to make excuses

919
00:46:13.740 --> 00:46:15.460
for someone because you really like them, you're really

920
00:46:15.460 --> 00:46:19.180
attracted to them, and you're trying to, you know, dismiss all

921
00:46:19.180 --> 00:46:22.900
the yellow flags, and trying to make them spiritual in your own

922
00:46:22.900 --> 00:46:25.620
mind for the purpose of you being able to sign off on a

923
00:46:25.620 --> 00:46:28.140
relationship with them, then you already know that your motives

924
00:46:28.140 --> 00:46:33.100
are messed up, and it's not going to bear good fruit. Does

925
00:46:33.100 --> 00:46:36.940
that make sense to everybody? It's not either or, sometimes

926
00:46:36.940 --> 00:46:40.620
it's both and. And I don't think that Bina is really going to

927
00:46:40.620 --> 00:46:44.020
know until she has this deeper conversation. Right now, she's

928
00:46:44.020 --> 00:46:46.500
been tiptoeing around the landmines trying to find out

929
00:46:46.500 --> 00:46:49.700
where this man is and his faith. And she's had a couple very

930
00:46:49.700 --> 00:46:53.020
surface conversations. But now it's time for her to have a

931
00:46:53.020 --> 00:46:57.580
deeper conversation about who she is, and what faith means to

932
00:46:57.580 --> 00:47:03.660
her. And let's just see how he reacts to that. Want to? Will

933
00:47:03.660 --> 00:47:07.420
you volunteer as tribute for us to have this conversation?

934
00:47:07.420 --> 00:47:09.660
Because it sounds like he has a lot of green flags. And we want

935
00:47:09.660 --> 00:47:11.780
to see how he reacts to this conversation.

936
00:47:12.100 --> 00:47:17.980
Yeah, I will. Okay, he's pretty passive. So I don't know that

937
00:47:17.980 --> 00:47:26.780
he's gonna say much other than like, just kind of nod and be

938
00:47:26.780 --> 00:47:35.620
present. Like, yeah, well, here's the thing. He's gonna

939
00:47:35.620 --> 00:47:38.700
have to get you know, and gentlemen, and ladies, this is

940
00:47:38.700 --> 00:47:42.060
not necessarily for you. But guys, this is for you, guys,

941
00:47:42.060 --> 00:47:45.380
you're gonna have to get passionate about what you want

942
00:47:45.380 --> 00:47:48.940
in life. You're gonna have to get passionate. All right, the

943
00:47:48.940 --> 00:47:53.700
divine masculine is passionate. It's not passive. All right. So

944
00:47:53.700 --> 00:47:58.100
from passivity to passion, you're gonna have to and I know

945
00:47:58.100 --> 00:48:00.620
one thing's for sure being a you live with a lot of passion and I

946
00:48:00.620 --> 00:48:03.780
do not think that would be a complimentary opposite to you

947
00:48:03.780 --> 00:48:06.860
someone who lives with no passion and is apathetic. That

948
00:48:06.860 --> 00:48:09.700
would be a polar opposite. And that would be a deal breaker.

949
00:48:12.140 --> 00:48:16.780
Cool. Cool. Thanks. All right. Okay, report back to us because

950
00:48:16.780 --> 00:48:22.740
we want to know inquire busy bodies want to know. Okay. All

951
00:48:22.740 --> 00:48:26.620
right. Love you. Okay. All right. Was there anyone put in

952
00:48:26.620 --> 00:48:28.980
the chat if you were another person that was going to get in

953
00:48:28.980 --> 00:48:34.100
the spotlight tonight? Get in that love seat tonight. Anyone

954
00:48:34.100 --> 00:48:36.100
else have any questions? Go ahead and put them in the chat

955
00:48:36.100 --> 00:48:38.100
loveseat questions, not questions for the guys. Y'all

956
00:48:38.100 --> 00:48:40.500
don't follow directions at all. You guys all had detention in

957
00:48:40.500 --> 00:48:44.340
school. Every one of you that's posting questions when I said

958
00:48:44.340 --> 00:48:47.140
hold them till the end. All of you were the queens of

959
00:48:47.140 --> 00:48:51.300
detention. I know it. You were talking in class. You were not

960
00:48:51.300 --> 00:48:54.100
on task. How do I know? Because I was there with you in

961
00:48:54.100 --> 00:48:56.780
detention. Yes, I was. All right.

962
00:49:00.660 --> 00:49:04.340
Susan, come on. We're gonna have you on the next spotlight.

963
00:49:05.460 --> 00:49:08.780
Let's have you on the next single spotlight. I'll do it on

964
00:49:08.780 --> 00:49:12.020
my Instagram so we can get a wider variety of men watching

965
00:49:12.020 --> 00:49:16.860
us. Email. I'm serious about that. Susan has been

966
00:49:16.900 --> 00:49:19.900
volunteering and helping in this community for such a long time.

967
00:49:19.900 --> 00:49:23.500
And I would love to do that for you. All right, Hunter, I have

968
00:49:23.500 --> 00:49:28.060
one based on communication. You got put the question in the

969
00:49:28.060 --> 00:49:30.660
chat. If you have a question, Hunter, put it in the chat. I'd

970
00:49:30.660 --> 00:49:33.660
love to answer it. Everybody has been placed in detention. Yes,

971
00:49:33.700 --> 00:49:37.340
Carol. Guys, I would have made a great teacher. I'd have been a

972
00:49:37.420 --> 00:49:40.500
I've been a strict teacher, which is such ironic since I was

973
00:49:40.500 --> 00:49:43.460
such a crazy student. I had posted a question in the

974
00:49:43.460 --> 00:49:45.780
Facebook group that you mentioned coming loveseat. Yes,

975
00:49:45.820 --> 00:49:52.740
Emma, you're up. All right. Hello. Yes, thank you. I'm

976
00:49:52.740 --> 00:49:55.860
looking for you. Hold on. Let me find you. You're talking but I

977
00:49:55.860 --> 00:49:59.380
don't see you yet. Keep talking so I can find you waving. I'm

978
00:49:59.420 --> 00:49:59.980
family.

979
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.560
And hello, can you see me?

980
00:50:02.560 --> 00:50:03.960
It's waving, okay.

981
00:50:05.520 --> 00:50:06.960
Hi, I'm here.

982
00:50:06.960 --> 00:50:08.520
I'm just gonna search you in the names here.

983
00:50:08.520 --> 00:50:09.360
Oh, there you are.

984
00:50:09.360 --> 00:50:10.200
Okay, ready?

985
00:50:10.200 --> 00:50:12.560
And got it.

986
00:50:13.440 --> 00:50:14.760
Yes, hello, thank you.

987
00:50:14.760 --> 00:50:16.360
Hey, hi.

988
00:50:16.360 --> 00:50:18.760
Another Texas girl, you're in Dallas, right?

989
00:50:18.760 --> 00:50:20.040
Yes, I'm in Dallas.

990
00:50:20.040 --> 00:50:23.480
Okay, Ines in Austin and Emma's in Dallas.

991
00:50:23.480 --> 00:50:25.560
Okay, so tell us what your dilemma,

992
00:50:25.560 --> 00:50:27.600
your question, what's up?

993
00:50:27.600 --> 00:50:29.720
Yes, so I posted in a Facebook group

994
00:50:29.760 --> 00:50:33.160
about just navigating the never-ending cycle

995
00:50:33.160 --> 00:50:35.800
of meeting people and then not working out.

996
00:50:35.800 --> 00:50:40.160
I did the group back, I'm coming on a year.

997
00:50:40.160 --> 00:50:42.960
So I think I, my hesitation for doing the group

998
00:50:42.960 --> 00:50:45.200
at the beginning was just that expectation

999
00:50:45.200 --> 00:50:46.040
for the timeframe.

1000
00:50:46.040 --> 00:50:48.440
Although I know, you know, just keeping my heart open

1001
00:50:48.440 --> 00:50:50.960
to not having an expectation in the timeframe.

1002
00:50:50.960 --> 00:50:52.760
But I have been intentionally dating

1003
00:50:52.760 --> 00:50:55.760
for almost 10 years now, I'm 38.

1004
00:50:55.760 --> 00:50:59.560
And my early 20s, I was in missions and ministry.

1005
00:51:00.400 --> 00:51:01.240
So kind of neglected my dating life.

1006
00:51:01.240 --> 00:51:03.360
But the last 10 years, I've been really intentionally

1007
00:51:03.360 --> 00:51:04.920
focused on dating.

1008
00:51:04.920 --> 00:51:06.560
And then I did the program last year

1009
00:51:06.560 --> 00:51:09.400
and I felt really transformed by it.

1010
00:51:09.400 --> 00:51:13.640
But the dating process, I feel like is really the same.

1011
00:51:13.640 --> 00:51:15.440
And it's just that never-ending cycle.

1012
00:51:15.440 --> 00:51:19.880
So my question was, how do you wrestle with the tension

1013
00:51:19.880 --> 00:51:21.120
of when things don't work out?

1014
00:51:21.120 --> 00:51:23.080
How much of that is God's protection?

1015
00:51:23.080 --> 00:51:24.880
You know, closed doors become their own form

1016
00:51:24.880 --> 00:51:26.000
of answered prayer request.

1017
00:51:26.000 --> 00:51:27.480
How much of it is God's timing?

1018
00:51:27.480 --> 00:51:29.680
Like I really just haven't met someone

1019
00:51:29.680 --> 00:51:30.840
because it's not his timing.

1020
00:51:30.840 --> 00:51:33.920
The other person, maybe they're on a journey.

1021
00:51:33.920 --> 00:51:36.920
But I'm also wondering how much of it could be opposition

1022
00:51:36.920 --> 00:51:38.640
or I still have heart work to do,

1023
00:51:38.640 --> 00:51:42.520
or it's the enemy or just some other factor.

1024
00:51:42.520 --> 00:51:44.400
It's just that tension between how much of it

1025
00:51:44.400 --> 00:51:46.600
is God's role, my role.

1026
00:51:46.600 --> 00:51:49.720
Like I think sometimes I kind of obsess about my part

1027
00:51:49.720 --> 00:51:52.320
to play, because I feel like I'm doing everything

1028
00:51:52.320 --> 00:51:54.040
I should be doing.

1029
00:51:54.080 --> 00:51:57.880
But then also letting go and trusting God and his timing.

1030
00:51:57.880 --> 00:52:00.120
I just, I'm wrestling because it's just been so,

1031
00:52:00.120 --> 00:52:02.680
it feels like a never-ending cycle.

1032
00:52:02.680 --> 00:52:05.720
Even though I'm growing, I can see my transformation.

1033
00:52:05.720 --> 00:52:07.360
So I know nothing is wasted.

1034
00:52:07.360 --> 00:52:08.640
Nothing's in vain.

1035
00:52:08.640 --> 00:52:11.240
God's using everything, but that's just,

1036
00:52:11.240 --> 00:52:13.880
I'm also in the same cycle with the job.

1037
00:52:13.880 --> 00:52:16.720
I've been interviewing and then I'm also,

1038
00:52:16.720 --> 00:52:19.080
my roommate unexpectedly needed to move back home.

1039
00:52:19.080 --> 00:52:20.520
So I think it's real similar.

1040
00:52:21.240 --> 00:52:24.560
The roommate hunt, the dating hunt, and the job hunt,

1041
00:52:24.560 --> 00:52:26.760
it just all feels really similar.

1042
00:52:26.760 --> 00:52:30.120
How much of it is my role versus how much of it is God?

1043
00:52:30.120 --> 00:52:33.560
It's just the parallels between those three areas of life,

1044
00:52:33.560 --> 00:52:34.800
I think are getting to me.

1045
00:52:34.800 --> 00:52:37.760
And I'm just feeling weary in the never-ending cycle

1046
00:52:37.760 --> 00:52:41.240
of just feeling like I'm being faithful, but then.

1047
00:52:41.240 --> 00:52:42.560
Okay, awesome.

1048
00:52:42.560 --> 00:52:43.880
So that's my question.

1049
00:52:43.880 --> 00:52:46.440
Of course, I know that you know that you're not alone.

1050
00:52:46.440 --> 00:52:48.240
And I know that you also know,

1051
00:52:48.240 --> 00:52:49.520
and if you guys don't know this,

1052
00:52:49.520 --> 00:52:52.360
that this is not just about,

1053
00:52:52.360 --> 00:52:56.000
it's not just about a spirit mate for her or dating,

1054
00:52:56.000 --> 00:52:59.280
it's about all these areas of life, right?

1055
00:52:59.280 --> 00:53:01.440
And not just her, but all of us.

1056
00:53:01.440 --> 00:53:03.280
So when you do have the spirit mate,

1057
00:53:03.280 --> 00:53:05.880
there will be other areas of your life that are like this,

1058
00:53:05.880 --> 00:53:07.960
where you're doing everything that you know to do,

1059
00:53:07.960 --> 00:53:09.400
and yet there isn't breakthrough

1060
00:53:09.400 --> 00:53:13.920
or there isn't the finished product

1061
00:53:13.920 --> 00:53:17.160
of what it is that you wanna see in your life, right?

1062
00:53:17.160 --> 00:53:18.000
Whether that's-

1063
00:53:18.320 --> 00:53:21.320
A lot of people are struggling with like fertility,

1064
00:53:21.320 --> 00:53:23.320
having kids, like the same thing.

1065
00:53:23.320 --> 00:53:24.760
Listen, it doesn't diminish,

1066
00:53:24.760 --> 00:53:26.720
it doesn't diminish your pain in the waiting,

1067
00:53:26.720 --> 00:53:27.720
in the waiting.

1068
00:53:27.720 --> 00:53:29.560
Cause you know, guys know how much I love that word.

1069
00:53:29.560 --> 00:53:30.600
I hate that word.

1070
00:53:30.600 --> 00:53:32.360
Okay, because we're not ever waiting,

1071
00:53:32.360 --> 00:53:34.640
but Emma might be on the other side of the spectrum

1072
00:53:34.640 --> 00:53:38.160
where she's doing, doing, doing, doing.

1073
00:53:38.160 --> 00:53:40.480
In fact, just listening to her made me kind of tired.

1074
00:53:40.480 --> 00:53:42.680
I was a little tired because I can tell that

1075
00:53:42.680 --> 00:53:44.440
you're a getter done kind of girl.

1076
00:53:44.440 --> 00:53:46.000
And I appreciate that.

1077
00:53:46.040 --> 00:53:50.160
But sometimes that can be our issue

1078
00:53:50.160 --> 00:53:52.360
because we are crossing all of our T's.

1079
00:53:52.360 --> 00:53:53.960
We are dotting all of our I's.

1080
00:53:53.960 --> 00:53:55.320
We are doing our part.

1081
00:53:55.320 --> 00:53:57.240
And God, where's your part at?

1082
00:53:57.240 --> 00:53:58.400
And I get that.

1083
00:53:58.400 --> 00:54:00.680
And I've been around lots of personalities like that.

1084
00:54:00.680 --> 00:54:03.000
I know that I may seem like I'm that kind of personality,

1085
00:54:03.000 --> 00:54:07.400
but trust me, I'm a procrastinator, okay?

1086
00:54:07.400 --> 00:54:10.880
I do things at the last minute, most times.

1087
00:54:10.880 --> 00:54:14.080
And so we all have different Achilles heels,

1088
00:54:14.080 --> 00:54:16.520
but I actually wrote this down earlier today, Emma,

1089
00:54:16.520 --> 00:54:19.240
and I had no idea what your question was gonna be

1090
00:54:19.240 --> 00:54:20.800
or what was gonna happen here.

1091
00:54:24.680 --> 00:54:26.920
But I wrote this down.

1092
00:54:26.920 --> 00:54:29.280
When you've tried everything,

1093
00:54:29.280 --> 00:54:31.680
when you've tried hard for something

1094
00:54:31.680 --> 00:54:35.360
to make something happen, try soft, okay?

1095
00:54:35.360 --> 00:54:36.280
And what does that mean?

1096
00:54:36.280 --> 00:54:38.080
That means what Nitin was saying.

1097
00:54:38.080 --> 00:54:40.400
Sometimes we just gotta get quiet

1098
00:54:40.400 --> 00:54:43.360
and we just gotta get into a place of meditation.

1099
00:54:43.400 --> 00:54:46.080
And we just have to just let God speak to us

1100
00:54:46.080 --> 00:54:49.880
because what I hear in your current story

1101
00:54:49.880 --> 00:54:52.320
is that there's a lot of transition happening.

1102
00:54:53.560 --> 00:54:57.240
And I know that you want these things

1103
00:54:57.240 --> 00:54:59.480
to be closed-ended instead of open-ended,

1104
00:54:59.480 --> 00:55:00.320
but it's possible.

1105
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.300
It's possible that they're open-ended because there needs to be options beyond what you've

1106
00:55:04.300 --> 00:55:07.760
been considering at the moment, right?

1107
00:55:07.760 --> 00:55:11.760
Maybe a relocation is on the books for you.

1108
00:55:11.760 --> 00:55:17.220
It's possible that there's some other kind of life change that you're not expecting because

1109
00:55:17.220 --> 00:55:22.500
I want to tell all of you this, especially those of you that have really shown up and

1110
00:55:22.500 --> 00:55:26.580
done the work in this program, which I believe Emma is one of those people.

1111
00:55:26.580 --> 00:55:29.020
So you showed up in phase one and you did your heart work.

1112
00:55:29.020 --> 00:55:32.620
You showed up in phase two and some of you are still in phase two, but you are showing

1113
00:55:32.620 --> 00:55:37.720
up and you are rethinking the way that you approach dating and the way that you approach

1114
00:55:37.720 --> 00:55:41.180
just love in general and the idea of marriage.

1115
00:55:41.180 --> 00:55:42.180
You've surrendered the pen.

1116
00:55:42.180 --> 00:55:47.260
I want to tell you guys something I would say, and I'm not exaggerating, at least 60%,

1117
00:55:47.260 --> 00:55:51.440
if not more, that's conservative number of the success stories, which by the way are

1118
00:55:51.440 --> 00:55:57.680
somewhere between 780 to 800 to 1000 people now have gotten engaged and married through

1119
00:55:57.680 --> 00:55:58.680
this program.

1120
00:55:58.680 --> 00:55:59.680
Okay.

1121
00:55:59.680 --> 00:56:01.720
I don't even know what the number is.

1122
00:56:01.720 --> 00:56:05.280
We lost count at 750 a long time ago.

1123
00:56:05.280 --> 00:56:06.280
Okay.

1124
00:56:06.280 --> 00:56:10.120
Someday I'm going to have time to go back and try to count this up, but it ain't going

1125
00:56:10.120 --> 00:56:11.120
to be today.

1126
00:56:11.120 --> 00:56:12.120
Why?

1127
00:56:12.120 --> 00:56:13.120
Procrastinator.

1128
00:56:13.120 --> 00:56:14.120
All right.

1129
00:56:14.120 --> 00:56:16.660
But seriously, I don't have time for that, but I know that it's a lot.

1130
00:56:16.660 --> 00:56:22.620
So conservatively, at least more than half of those people have the same testimony, Emma,

1131
00:56:22.620 --> 00:56:24.060
and this is what they say to me.

1132
00:56:24.060 --> 00:56:29.140
I would not have even given this person the time of day had it not been for this program.

1133
00:56:29.140 --> 00:56:30.860
I would have noticed them.

1134
00:56:30.860 --> 00:56:32.780
I wouldn't have dated them.

1135
00:56:32.780 --> 00:56:34.900
I wouldn't have said yes to a date with them.

1136
00:56:34.900 --> 00:56:38.260
I would have definitely not said yes to a second date with them.

1137
00:56:38.260 --> 00:56:40.740
And a lot of you are hearing what I'm not saying.

1138
00:56:40.740 --> 00:56:41.740
You're thinking I'm saying, oh, they ugly.

1139
00:56:41.740 --> 00:56:42.740
That's not what I'm saying.

1140
00:56:42.740 --> 00:56:48.540
I've, if you go to my Instagram, you see the couples, they all kind of really strangely

1141
00:56:48.540 --> 00:56:49.540
look alike.

1142
00:56:49.540 --> 00:56:50.540
Don't they?

1143
00:56:50.540 --> 00:56:51.540
They look like each other.

1144
00:56:51.540 --> 00:56:54.020
Somehow the people that marry each other look like each other, and I don't know what that's

1145
00:56:54.020 --> 00:56:55.020
all about.

1146
00:56:55.020 --> 00:56:57.180
Um, but that's not what I'm saying.

1147
00:56:57.180 --> 00:56:58.980
What I'm saying is that they weren't your type.

1148
00:56:58.980 --> 00:57:00.300
They weren't your attraction style.

1149
00:57:00.300 --> 00:57:01.980
They weren't your attachment style.

1150
00:57:01.980 --> 00:57:06.780
They weren't your, you know, pattern.

1151
00:57:06.780 --> 00:57:11.580
And so you showed up and you address those things in phase two, and then you continue

1152
00:57:11.580 --> 00:57:17.620
to stay and get up, upgraded it spiritually, mentally, emotionally in phase three through

1153
00:57:17.620 --> 00:57:21.820
community, through supernatural Saturday, through activations, raise your hand.

1154
00:57:21.820 --> 00:57:26.500
If you're, if your spirit life has gone to the next level in this group that you feel

1155
00:57:26.500 --> 00:57:31.340
like you have really upgraded, it doesn't matter if you go to an amazing church, it

1156
00:57:31.340 --> 00:57:35.880
doesn't matter if you were a prophet before you came here or a minister that you really

1157
00:57:35.880 --> 00:57:39.980
have heard God in some significant and profound ways.

1158
00:57:39.980 --> 00:57:40.980
Okay.

1159
00:57:41.260 --> 00:57:46.700
If you've done all that, like Emma has, and you still haven't met your spirit mate, it's

1160
00:57:46.700 --> 00:57:53.700
time for you to realize that there's other things that you can put that beautiful intentional

1161
00:57:53.700 --> 00:57:59.460
focus on because God's got this, he's got this, okay?

1162
00:57:59.460 --> 00:58:01.340
There's going to be a spirit mate.

1163
00:58:01.340 --> 00:58:02.940
It's going to happen.

1164
00:58:02.940 --> 00:58:03.980
You've surrendered the pen.

1165
00:58:03.980 --> 00:58:05.540
You've done everything that you can do.

1166
00:58:05.540 --> 00:58:06.860
You've tried hard.

1167
00:58:06.860 --> 00:58:09.020
Now you're just going to try soft.

1168
00:58:09.020 --> 00:58:12.740
You're just going to say, okay, God, you know, here I am, here's my heart.

1169
00:58:12.740 --> 00:58:18.220
You know, what can I put all this beautiful intention, all this focus on, you know, you

1170
00:58:18.220 --> 00:58:20.180
are looking for a job.

1171
00:58:20.180 --> 00:58:22.980
You're possibly looking for a roommate if you stay living where you're living, because

1172
00:58:22.980 --> 00:58:28.220
maybe you're moving, you know, and just really allow God in that quiet space where you're

1173
00:58:28.220 --> 00:58:35.500
not asking for anything to just put ideas in your heart, you know, to put strength in

1174
00:58:35.500 --> 00:58:36.900
you, to put joy in you guys.

1175
00:58:36.900 --> 00:58:38.020
Remember, this is a season of joy.

1176
00:58:38.020 --> 00:58:42.900
Did you guys see Bethany and her husband, Brian, just moved down to take a pastor ship,

1177
00:58:42.900 --> 00:58:47.340
a pastoral role down in Fort Myers, Florida from Indiana.

1178
00:58:47.340 --> 00:58:52.300
They just arrived today in Fort Myers and on the road, she literally saw a billboard

1179
00:58:52.300 --> 00:58:54.620
that says joy is here.

1180
00:58:54.620 --> 00:59:01.300
And she took a picture of it and that great is true.

1181
00:59:01.300 --> 00:59:05.020
And so just allowing ourself to enjoy the process.

1182
00:59:05.020 --> 00:59:06.900
I know that Emma probably wants a family.

1183
00:59:06.900 --> 00:59:10.140
And I also know that Emma, you're tall, aren't you?

1184
00:59:10.140 --> 00:59:11.140
Are you tall?

1185
00:59:11.140 --> 00:59:12.140
Yes, I am.

1186
00:59:12.140 --> 00:59:13.140
I am.

1187
00:59:13.140 --> 00:59:14.140
Yeah.

1188
00:59:14.140 --> 00:59:15.140
Okay.

1189
00:59:15.140 --> 00:59:17.180
So it's, it's not easy to be a tall woman.

1190
00:59:17.180 --> 00:59:18.180
It isn't.

1191
00:59:18.180 --> 00:59:20.060
And that's why you kind of need a customized match.

1192
00:59:20.060 --> 00:59:21.060
How tall are you?

1193
00:59:21.060 --> 00:59:22.060
I'm 5'10".

1194
00:59:22.060 --> 00:59:23.060
Me too.

1195
00:59:23.060 --> 00:59:25.380
I'm 5'10".

1196
00:59:25.380 --> 00:59:29.060
Are you willing to marry a man who's 5'7"?

1197
00:59:29.060 --> 00:59:30.380
I am open.

1198
00:59:30.380 --> 00:59:31.380
Yeah.

1199
00:59:31.380 --> 00:59:35.300
I haven't always been that way, but I am open.

1200
00:59:35.300 --> 00:59:36.300
Yeah.

1201
00:59:36.300 --> 00:59:37.300
Okay.

1202
00:59:37.300 --> 00:59:39.300
Cause my husband says he's 5'8", y'all, but he's 5'7".

1203
00:59:39.300 --> 00:59:41.660
There's just no doubt about it.

1204
00:59:41.660 --> 00:59:42.660
Okay.

1205
00:59:42.660 --> 00:59:43.660
All right.

1206
00:59:43.660 --> 00:59:47.500
But he is still bigger than me for now.

1207
00:59:47.500 --> 00:59:48.900
He has been going to the gym and losing weight.

1208
00:59:48.900 --> 00:59:52.060
I'm like, look, bro, if you get smaller than me, then it's done.

1209
00:59:52.060 --> 00:59:53.060
It's over.

1210
00:59:53.060 --> 00:59:54.060
It's over.

1211
00:59:54.060 --> 00:59:56.660
I'm not going to ever be in another picture with you.

1212
00:59:56.660 --> 00:59:57.660
All right.

1213
00:59:57.660 --> 01:00:00.020
If you start looking like my son, we're done here.

1214
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:01.000
All right.

1215
01:00:01.000 --> 01:00:04.140
Um, but being tall is not easy.

1216
01:00:04.140 --> 01:00:08.000
It isn't because I know that, you know, all the women want to marry the six footers.

1217
01:00:08.000 --> 01:00:09.520
They definitely do.

1218
01:00:09.520 --> 01:00:14.080
But America, the average height of a man is our height.

1219
01:00:14.080 --> 01:00:16.200
It's five, 10, really it's five, nine.

1220
01:00:16.200 --> 01:00:20.000
Honestly, I think that men lie about their height and they do it because women are so

1221
01:00:20.000 --> 01:00:21.840
weird about height.

1222
01:00:21.840 --> 01:00:26.100
And I think most men are five, nine, just in general, unless you're in Australia or

1223
01:00:26.100 --> 01:00:27.360
another country.

1224
01:00:27.360 --> 01:00:28.360
Okay.

1225
01:00:28.360 --> 01:00:34.540
So I think that sometimes, you know, men are intimidated by us because we're so tall and

1226
01:00:34.540 --> 01:00:38.340
you obviously have a big, beautiful personality too, which makes you even more larger than

1227
01:00:38.340 --> 01:00:39.340
life.

1228
01:00:39.340 --> 01:00:43.000
And so what I want to encourage you with is that just like me, God has someone who's going

1229
01:00:43.000 --> 01:00:46.380
to love every bit of you.

1230
01:00:46.380 --> 01:00:50.400
But if in this season you're working at like a job, you're losing your joy, you're getting

1231
01:00:50.400 --> 01:00:52.580
discouraged because you can't find that person.

1232
01:00:52.580 --> 01:00:57.780
And you have all these other loose ends in your life, like your job and your living situation.

1233
01:00:58.200 --> 01:01:04.160
So let's focus on what we can tie up first and let God be our matchmaker.

1234
01:01:04.160 --> 01:01:07.280
You want to do that?

1235
01:01:07.280 --> 01:01:11.320
So I believe when you come back, you're going to report to us, remember, cause you've tried,

1236
01:01:11.320 --> 01:01:12.360
you've tried everything.

1237
01:01:12.360 --> 01:01:14.480
You've done all the things you've been coached to do.

1238
01:01:14.480 --> 01:01:16.360
You've shown up, you've done your part.

1239
01:01:16.360 --> 01:01:19.500
So we do our best and then we rest.

1240
01:01:19.500 --> 01:01:21.480
We do our best and then we rest.

1241
01:01:21.480 --> 01:01:24.960
It's different if you haven't shown up, if you've not done the work and then you up in

1242
01:01:24.960 --> 01:01:28.500
here complaining that there's no good men or no good women out there.

1243
01:01:28.500 --> 01:01:32.900
And I go back and I look at your heartwork portal and you did 25% of the heartwork.

1244
01:01:32.900 --> 01:01:34.540
Oh, friends.

1245
01:01:34.540 --> 01:01:35.540
Okay.

1246
01:01:35.540 --> 01:01:36.540
You got to show up.

1247
01:01:36.540 --> 01:01:38.460
Emma showed up.

1248
01:01:38.460 --> 01:01:41.660
And I guarantee you that she probably didn't think that she needed most of that because

1249
01:01:41.660 --> 01:01:47.500
I can tell that she's very emotionally aware, very spiritually aware, but she submitted

1250
01:01:47.500 --> 01:01:51.580
herself and I promise you it's your time.

1251
01:01:51.580 --> 01:01:52.580
It is.

1252
01:01:52.580 --> 01:01:54.380
So I don't know if you're going to stay in Dallas.

1253
01:01:54.380 --> 01:01:58.320
I don't know what's going to happen, but I do know this is that God is purposeful in

1254
01:01:58.320 --> 01:01:59.440
your life.

1255
01:01:59.440 --> 01:02:03.880
You have the biggest pieces of your life are open right now.

1256
01:02:03.880 --> 01:02:08.600
And I don't know how you feel about that, but I love options and you have options right

1257
01:02:08.600 --> 01:02:14.720
now and I really want you to sit with the Lord and really allow him to, without you,

1258
01:02:14.720 --> 01:02:19.480
you know, talking a blue streak to him, allow him to really start to give you a vision for

1259
01:02:19.480 --> 01:02:20.480
those options.

1260
01:02:20.480 --> 01:02:22.160
I feel like you're going to have some real downloads.

1261
01:02:22.160 --> 01:02:23.160
I really do.

1262
01:02:23.940 --> 01:02:24.940
Awesome.

1263
01:02:24.940 --> 01:02:25.940
Thank you.

1264
01:02:25.940 --> 01:02:26.940
Thank you.

1265
01:02:26.940 --> 01:02:27.940
Good.

1266
01:02:27.940 --> 01:02:28.940
All right, Emma, keep us posted.

1267
01:02:28.940 --> 01:02:29.940
Okay.

1268
01:02:29.940 --> 01:02:30.940
I will.

1269
01:02:30.940 --> 01:02:31.940
We want to know.

1270
01:02:31.940 --> 01:02:34.740
Job, roommate, place to live, relocation, boys.

1271
01:02:34.740 --> 01:02:35.740
We want to know it all.

1272
01:02:35.740 --> 01:02:36.740
Men.

1273
01:02:36.740 --> 01:02:37.740
Thank you.

1274
01:02:37.740 --> 01:02:38.740
No Peter Pan's.

1275
01:02:38.740 --> 01:02:39.740
No Peter Pan's.

1276
01:02:39.740 --> 01:02:40.740
Okay.

1277
01:02:40.740 --> 01:02:41.740
All right.

1278
01:02:41.740 --> 01:02:43.020
Thank you so much, Emma, for coming and being vulnerable with us.

1279
01:02:43.020 --> 01:02:44.020
We really appreciate that.

1280
01:02:44.020 --> 01:02:48.780
Cause raise your hand if you feel like Emma, you're like, come on, Lord, I've really shown

1281
01:02:48.780 --> 01:02:49.780
up.

1282
01:02:49.780 --> 01:02:50.780
I've done my part.

1283
01:02:50.780 --> 01:02:51.780
Where's your part?

1284
01:02:52.040 --> 01:02:54.640
Look at all those hands.

1285
01:02:54.640 --> 01:02:55.640
Look at all those hands.

1286
01:02:55.640 --> 01:02:56.640
All right.

1287
01:02:56.640 --> 01:02:58.360
So the same goes for you.

1288
01:02:58.360 --> 01:03:02.080
If you truly have, and you're not lying to yourself, you've truly shown up and done the

1289
01:03:02.080 --> 01:03:04.480
work then.

1290
01:03:04.480 --> 01:03:06.400
Because for a lot of people, it's just about math, right?

1291
01:03:06.400 --> 01:03:09.280
It's about getting out there and meeting new people in phase two.

1292
01:03:09.280 --> 01:03:10.280
It's about math.

1293
01:03:10.280 --> 01:03:11.600
That's why we have a dating challenge.

1294
01:03:11.600 --> 01:03:14.280
You get out there, you meet new people, you try new things.

1295
01:03:14.280 --> 01:03:18.240
If you've done all the things that we've coached you to do in phase one and phase two, that

1296
01:03:18.240 --> 01:03:20.420
means God's doing something else in your life.

1297
01:03:20.420 --> 01:03:24.540
And we're going to trust him because God knows how to play the Jenga game.

1298
01:03:24.540 --> 01:03:27.540
He's going to pull out certain things before he pulls out other things.

1299
01:03:27.540 --> 01:03:29.620
Otherwise it all comes toppling down.

1300
01:03:29.620 --> 01:03:33.220
And so we're going to trust him and we're going to continue to show up.

1301
01:03:33.220 --> 01:03:37.700
Now if other people are questioning your heart healing by saying, Hey, you know, you seem

1302
01:03:37.700 --> 01:03:38.700
kind of hard.

1303
01:03:38.700 --> 01:03:39.700
You seem a little bitter.

1304
01:03:39.700 --> 01:03:40.940
You seem like this and that.

1305
01:03:40.940 --> 01:03:44.780
Let's take a look at that because you may think you did the hard work, but you didn't.

1306
01:03:44.780 --> 01:03:48.220
And so instead of trying hard, we're going to try soft.

1307
01:03:49.200 --> 01:03:50.200
Ladies.

1308
01:03:50.200 --> 01:03:51.200
Okay.

1309
01:03:51.200 --> 01:03:52.200
All right.

1310
01:03:52.200 --> 01:03:53.920
I really like you, Emma.

1311
01:03:53.920 --> 01:03:54.920
You're awesome.

1312
01:03:54.920 --> 01:03:59.560
And I don't know, I feel like there's something I'm going to pray about it because I usually

1313
01:03:59.560 --> 01:04:02.880
talk before I think, so let me just not say anything more.

1314
01:04:02.880 --> 01:04:06.440
Let me pray about what I'm thinking right now and I'll get back to you.

1315
01:04:06.440 --> 01:04:07.440
All right.

1316
01:04:07.440 --> 01:04:10.440
Was there anyone else that was supposed to get in the love seat tonight before we start

1317
01:04:10.440 --> 01:04:12.720
asking these great single spotlights?

1318
01:04:12.720 --> 01:04:14.760
All of your many questions, ladies.

1319
01:04:14.760 --> 01:04:15.760
Yes.

1320
01:04:16.020 --> 01:04:17.020
Yes.

1321
01:04:17.020 --> 01:04:18.020
So hot.

1322
01:04:18.020 --> 01:04:19.020
Woo.

1323
01:04:19.020 --> 01:04:20.020
Jesus.

1324
01:04:20.020 --> 01:04:21.020
Texas.

1325
01:04:21.020 --> 01:04:22.020
Woo.

1326
01:04:22.020 --> 01:04:23.020
Lord help us.

1327
01:04:23.020 --> 01:04:24.020
All right.

1328
01:04:24.020 --> 01:04:25.020
Hey Jackie.

1329
01:04:25.020 --> 01:04:26.020
It's Lauren.

1330
01:04:26.020 --> 01:04:31.460
I had emailed and messaged back and forth.

1331
01:04:31.460 --> 01:04:32.460
All right, girl.

1332
01:04:32.460 --> 01:04:33.460
Okay.

1333
01:04:33.460 --> 01:04:34.460
Lauren.

1334
01:04:34.460 --> 01:04:35.460
Okay.

1335
01:04:35.460 --> 01:04:36.460
So go ahead and tell us.

1336
01:04:36.460 --> 01:04:37.460
Give us a synopsis of what's up.

1337
01:04:37.460 --> 01:04:38.460
Yeah.

1338
01:04:38.460 --> 01:04:43.180
So I've been in a level three for four months.

1339
01:04:43.180 --> 01:04:45.720
And definitely, uh, you, it's kind of interesting.

1340
01:04:45.720 --> 01:04:49.560
You were just talking about how, you know, it's a yes until it's a no.

1341
01:04:49.560 --> 01:04:53.000
And I've definitely walked that in this relationship.

1342
01:04:53.000 --> 01:04:59.960
Um, and I guess the best way to sum it up is at what point is it?

1343
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.800
I know when there's just like, I just, the bottom line is I feel like something's missing.

1344
01:05:05.800 --> 01:05:08.680
Like this man checks a lot of the boxes.

1345
01:05:08.680 --> 01:05:10.320
He loves the Lord.

1346
01:05:10.320 --> 01:05:12.280
He's got a passion for the fatherless.

1347
01:05:12.280 --> 01:05:18.040
I have been raising two kids by myself for 10 years.

1348
01:05:18.040 --> 01:05:20.720
They struggle with fatherless issues.

1349
01:05:20.720 --> 01:05:26.000
Like just a lot of things line up and I was like, wow, like your program works.

1350
01:05:26.000 --> 01:05:30.960
I found this guy and it's like all the things, um, he's tall.

1351
01:05:30.960 --> 01:05:31.960
I'm six one.

1352
01:05:31.960 --> 01:05:35.240
I love how it's like a tall lady's night here tonight.

1353
01:05:35.240 --> 01:05:36.240
Wow.

1354
01:05:36.240 --> 01:05:37.240
Yeah.

1355
01:05:37.240 --> 01:05:44.200
And it's just like all these things are aligned, but it's just, something's just not there.

1356
01:05:44.200 --> 01:05:45.200
And I don't know what it is.

1357
01:05:45.200 --> 01:05:49.280
And that's where I'm trying to figure out is this like part of it, like, I need to dig

1358
01:05:49.280 --> 01:05:50.280
into that.

1359
01:05:50.280 --> 01:05:55.040
When you say something's missing, do you mean in the connection?

1360
01:05:55.080 --> 01:05:56.080
Yeah.

1361
01:05:56.080 --> 01:05:57.080
Like attraction.

1362
01:05:57.080 --> 01:05:58.080
Okay.

1363
01:05:58.080 --> 01:05:59.080
So you're not attracted.

1364
01:05:59.080 --> 01:06:00.080
No.

1365
01:06:00.080 --> 01:06:04.120
I mean, he said he's 15 years older than I am.

1366
01:06:04.120 --> 01:06:08.160
He's more of a creative, more of like that.

1367
01:06:08.160 --> 01:06:09.800
I, I play volleyball.

1368
01:06:09.800 --> 01:06:10.800
I'm very active.

1369
01:06:10.800 --> 01:06:12.360
I love going to the gym.

1370
01:06:12.360 --> 01:06:14.800
Like that's a huge part of my life.

1371
01:06:14.800 --> 01:06:19.320
So it's like, okay, well we're not aligned there, but again, there's, there's the age

1372
01:06:19.320 --> 01:06:23.240
gap and he's, you know, you know,

1373
01:06:23.360 --> 01:06:25.360
How old are you?

1374
01:06:25.360 --> 01:06:26.360
Lauren?

1375
01:06:26.360 --> 01:06:27.360
How old are you?

1376
01:06:27.360 --> 01:06:28.360
I'm 39.

1377
01:06:28.360 --> 01:06:29.360
And so he's 54.

1378
01:06:29.360 --> 01:06:30.360
Okay.

1379
01:06:30.360 --> 01:06:31.360
39 and 54.

1380
01:06:31.360 --> 01:06:32.360
Yeah.

1381
01:06:32.360 --> 01:06:33.360
That's you're right.

1382
01:06:33.360 --> 01:06:34.720
That's a big age gap.

1383
01:06:34.720 --> 01:06:36.720
That's 39 and 54.

1384
01:06:36.720 --> 01:06:38.240
So 49, that's what?

1385
01:06:38.240 --> 01:06:39.240
13 years?

1386
01:06:39.240 --> 01:06:40.240
14?

1387
01:06:40.240 --> 01:06:41.240
15.

1388
01:06:41.240 --> 01:06:42.240
Yeah.

1389
01:06:42.240 --> 01:06:43.240
Okay.

1390
01:06:43.240 --> 01:06:44.240
Sorry.

1391
01:06:44.240 --> 01:06:45.240
You did the right math.

1392
01:06:45.240 --> 01:06:46.240
You math, the math, the math, math.

1393
01:06:46.240 --> 01:06:47.240
Okay.

1394
01:06:47.240 --> 01:06:48.240
I used to teach math.

1395
01:06:48.240 --> 01:06:49.240
Yeah.

1396
01:06:49.240 --> 01:06:50.240
15.

1397
01:06:50.240 --> 01:06:51.240
Oh, wow.

1398
01:06:51.240 --> 01:06:52.240
You're a math teacher.

1399
01:06:52.240 --> 01:06:53.240
So there's a big age difference.

1400
01:06:53.240 --> 01:06:58.520
And while 39 and 54, it doesn't seem like a lot of age difference there, you know, people

1401
01:06:58.520 --> 01:07:00.080
are still spry at 54.

1402
01:07:00.080 --> 01:07:05.760
I'm about to turn 50, but what does that look like in 10 years when you're 49 and he's,

1403
01:07:05.760 --> 01:07:09.120
you math, the math, you're the math or whatever, those numbers.

1404
01:07:09.120 --> 01:07:10.120
Yeah.

1405
01:07:10.120 --> 01:07:11.120
Well, right.

1406
01:07:11.120 --> 01:07:12.120
64.

1407
01:07:12.120 --> 01:07:13.120
Yeah.

1408
01:07:13.120 --> 01:07:14.120
So what's it look like then?

1409
01:07:14.120 --> 01:07:15.120
I mean, how well is he taking care of himself?

1410
01:07:15.120 --> 01:07:18.680
Cause a lot of times, you know, it doesn't matter about, you know, cause it's never late

1411
01:07:18.680 --> 01:07:19.680
to start friends.

1412
01:07:19.680 --> 01:07:22.960
You know, if you're in your fifties, please start, please start strength training.

1413
01:07:22.960 --> 01:07:27.040
You know, please pay attention to flexibility and all those things.

1414
01:07:27.040 --> 01:07:30.600
But you know, there's a lot going on cause you're saying that you're really active, you're

1415
01:07:30.600 --> 01:07:33.760
really physical and he's not.

1416
01:07:33.760 --> 01:07:36.360
So is he taking care of his physical?

1417
01:07:36.360 --> 01:07:37.440
He's working on that.

1418
01:07:37.440 --> 01:07:39.440
He's been, Lord's healed him from Crohn's.

1419
01:07:39.440 --> 01:07:44.920
So he's like in this transition to getting healthier, which he's doing that on his own.

1420
01:07:44.920 --> 01:07:45.920
Love that.

1421
01:07:45.920 --> 01:07:48.520
Um, but it's just, I don't know.

1422
01:07:48.520 --> 01:07:54.400
When I, when I think about being with a spirit mate, there's just something that like, I

1423
01:07:54.400 --> 01:07:58.760
feel like it like draws you to them and, and not like the movies or anything, but it's

1424
01:07:58.760 --> 01:08:01.760
just like, gosh, I'm like, that's my man.

1425
01:08:01.760 --> 01:08:03.460
Like I want to feel that.

1426
01:08:03.460 --> 01:08:08.920
And I'm not, but like, and can you, did you tell me how long you've been dating?

1427
01:08:08.920 --> 01:08:11.560
Uh, four months, four months.

1428
01:08:11.560 --> 01:08:12.560
Okay.

1429
01:08:12.560 --> 01:08:16.200
So exclusively you're level three dating for four months.

1430
01:08:16.200 --> 01:08:17.200
Yeah.

1431
01:08:17.200 --> 01:08:18.200
Okay.

1432
01:08:18.200 --> 01:08:19.200
And how long did you know him before you went level three?

1433
01:08:19.200 --> 01:08:21.640
Oh, my bad dating three months.

1434
01:08:21.640 --> 01:08:24.399
So a month before that we dated.

1435
01:08:24.399 --> 01:08:27.040
And then, so it's been April, May, June.

1436
01:08:27.040 --> 01:08:28.040
Yeah.

1437
01:08:28.040 --> 01:08:29.040
Three months.

1438
01:08:29.040 --> 01:08:30.040
So he locked it down after a month.

1439
01:08:30.040 --> 01:08:31.240
He wanted to be exclusive with you.

1440
01:08:31.240 --> 01:08:33.080
So he's into you for sure.

1441
01:08:33.080 --> 01:08:34.080
Oh, well.

1442
01:08:34.080 --> 01:08:36.240
And he's also like, I could see myself marrying you.

1443
01:08:36.240 --> 01:08:38.720
I'm like, Ooh, no, I'm not there.

1444
01:08:38.720 --> 01:08:39.720
I don't know.

1445
01:08:39.720 --> 01:08:43.800
I just, he's like, yeah, everything I've like all the things.

1446
01:08:43.800 --> 01:08:44.800
He's very nice.

1447
01:08:44.800 --> 01:08:45.800
He's very grounded.

1448
01:08:45.800 --> 01:08:48.520
So I do the benefit of the age differences.

1449
01:08:48.520 --> 01:08:56.920
I've had a hard time dating men, my age, just because my own walk and maturity and whatnot.

1450
01:08:56.920 --> 01:09:00.319
And I've lived, I've lived a lot of life.

1451
01:09:00.319 --> 01:09:01.319
Uh, okay.

1452
01:09:01.319 --> 01:09:04.740
So here's my advice on this and everyone listen up the age differences.

1453
01:09:04.740 --> 01:09:05.740
It is big.

1454
01:09:05.740 --> 01:09:06.740
Okay.

1455
01:09:06.740 --> 01:09:11.399
Um, it isn't big if people are going to stay healthy and take care of themselves and all

1456
01:09:11.399 --> 01:09:16.439
the things, and they definitely do have some different differing interests, um, some big

1457
01:09:16.439 --> 01:09:17.439
green flags.

1458
01:09:17.439 --> 01:09:20.680
She said that he loves God, that he is, has a heart for the fatherless.

1459
01:09:20.680 --> 01:09:22.720
She has sons that need a father.

1460
01:09:22.720 --> 01:09:24.200
There's all kinds of things there.

1461
01:09:24.200 --> 01:09:29.800
She obviously at some level enjoys his attention and his presence and his, you know, there's

1462
01:09:29.800 --> 01:09:31.160
compatibility there.

1463
01:09:31.160 --> 01:09:35.080
Otherwise she wouldn't have said yes and gone exclusive with him and been in this exclusive

1464
01:09:35.080 --> 01:09:36.080
relationship.

1465
01:09:36.080 --> 01:09:40.080
So there is something that caused her to want to do that.

1466
01:09:40.080 --> 01:09:43.300
So two things, and there's two different scenarios here.

1467
01:09:43.300 --> 01:09:48.640
The first scenario is nobody's ever going to get your list, right?

1468
01:09:48.640 --> 01:09:53.160
If you have a list of things that you want, if things that you thought this was supposed

1469
01:09:53.160 --> 01:09:57.400
to look like, and what she said, feel like you better to throw that out because it does

1470
01:09:57.400 --> 01:09:59.400
not always happen.

1471
01:09:59.400 --> 01:09:59.920
In fact, in.

1472
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.140
I experienced, it rarely happens.

1473
01:10:03.140 --> 01:10:06.240
Okay, where there's the, oh, my man.

1474
01:10:06.240 --> 01:10:08.780
And especially if we've had bad experiences

1475
01:10:08.780 --> 01:10:10.600
with men or women in the past,

1476
01:10:10.600 --> 01:10:13.280
a lot of times our hearts are really slow to warm up.

1477
01:10:13.280 --> 01:10:15.360
We think that we're ready to receive love.

1478
01:10:15.360 --> 01:10:17.720
We think that we're ready to feel those feels,

1479
01:10:17.720 --> 01:10:19.240
but we have to heal those feels

1480
01:10:19.240 --> 01:10:21.000
before we can feel those feels.

1481
01:10:21.000 --> 01:10:23.600
And so a lot of times, especially when things get serious,

1482
01:10:23.600 --> 01:10:25.960
we actually lock down even more.

1483
01:10:25.960 --> 01:10:27.500
We pull away even more.

1484
01:10:27.540 --> 01:10:32.340
That's some aspects of the avoidant attachment theory, okay?

1485
01:10:32.340 --> 01:10:34.540
Where we start picking at this person

1486
01:10:34.540 --> 01:10:36.380
and finding things that were wrong with them

1487
01:10:36.380 --> 01:10:37.420
when we first met them.

1488
01:10:37.420 --> 01:10:38.820
We didn't care about that stuff,

1489
01:10:38.820 --> 01:10:40.740
but now that things are getting serious,

1490
01:10:40.740 --> 01:10:44.100
now we're starting to say, uh, I have some ics here.

1491
01:10:44.100 --> 01:10:46.780
I'm not really sure if you're the person.

1492
01:10:46.780 --> 01:10:48.860
And our hearts start closing down,

1493
01:10:48.860 --> 01:10:52.060
and we feel like that is evidence

1494
01:10:52.060 --> 01:10:53.800
that they're not the right person.

1495
01:10:53.800 --> 01:10:55.300
Our hearts start closing down,

1496
01:10:55.300 --> 01:10:57.300
and we feel, then we take that as evidence.

1497
01:10:57.900 --> 01:11:00.480
Well, if they were my person, I would feel differently.

1498
01:11:00.480 --> 01:11:01.700
That's not always true.

1499
01:11:01.700 --> 01:11:05.260
And then the other scenario is she's met a great guy

1500
01:11:05.260 --> 01:11:08.300
that has shown her that there are great guys.

1501
01:11:08.300 --> 01:11:10.940
There are amazing guys, guys that are gonna love her,

1502
01:11:10.940 --> 01:11:12.860
guys that are gonna love her children.

1503
01:11:12.860 --> 01:11:13.740
They exist.

1504
01:11:13.740 --> 01:11:15.460
It's not the magic unicorn.

1505
01:11:15.460 --> 01:11:18.160
And that that is all this relationship was meant to do

1506
01:11:18.160 --> 01:11:20.500
is open both of their hearts up.

1507
01:11:20.500 --> 01:11:23.580
You know, there's such a thing as the one before the one.

1508
01:11:23.580 --> 01:11:24.460
There is such a thing,

1509
01:11:24.460 --> 01:11:26.820
and I've seen it many, many, many, many times

1510
01:11:27.340 --> 01:11:28.460
in this community, all right,

1511
01:11:28.460 --> 01:11:30.620
and in my matchmaking career.

1512
01:11:30.620 --> 01:11:33.260
And so it's important for us to discern the difference,

1513
01:11:33.260 --> 01:11:35.100
and it's also important for us

1514
01:11:35.100 --> 01:11:37.500
to not take someone too far down a road

1515
01:11:37.500 --> 01:11:40.460
that we cannot commit in

1516
01:11:40.460 --> 01:11:44.500
because it isn't just us becoming avoidant.

1517
01:11:44.500 --> 01:11:47.740
It is, we know that there is compatibility,

1518
01:11:47.740 --> 01:11:51.580
but there's not enough compatibility to build a life on.

1519
01:11:51.580 --> 01:11:53.660
And the trick is to know the difference, y'all.

1520
01:11:53.660 --> 01:11:57.020
And here's the great news is that if he's not for you,

1521
01:11:57.020 --> 01:12:00.340
he might be for one of your sisters here in this community.

1522
01:12:00.340 --> 01:12:02.140
He's such a good guy.

1523
01:12:02.140 --> 01:12:03.340
Yeah, and so,

1524
01:12:03.340 --> 01:12:07.500
but I really wanna encourage you to ask God which it is

1525
01:12:07.500 --> 01:12:12.180
and to sit as our brother Nitin told us and just listen

1526
01:12:12.180 --> 01:12:14.820
and just allow God to quiet your heart,

1527
01:12:14.820 --> 01:12:17.600
allow him to, you know, show you,

1528
01:12:17.600 --> 01:12:20.200
and you guys, for all of you that are gonna break up

1529
01:12:20.200 --> 01:12:22.400
with someone during this process,

1530
01:12:22.400 --> 01:12:25.360
that's a genuinely good woman or a good man,

1531
01:12:25.360 --> 01:12:28.160
let's make sure we have confirmations of that.

1532
01:12:28.160 --> 01:12:29.720
Not just, well, God told me no.

1533
01:12:30.640 --> 01:12:32.360
That does not float here, y'all.

1534
01:12:32.360 --> 01:12:33.920
That dog does not hunt here.

1535
01:12:33.920 --> 01:12:35.260
I don't wanna hear that.

1536
01:12:35.260 --> 01:12:37.560
When God is talking to us personally

1537
01:12:37.560 --> 01:12:39.740
about huge decisions in our lives,

1538
01:12:39.740 --> 01:12:43.440
there will be outward confirmations

1539
01:12:43.440 --> 01:12:45.980
of those outside of ourselves.

1540
01:12:45.980 --> 01:12:48.240
I want you to raise your hand and be honest right now.

1541
01:12:48.240 --> 01:12:49.700
If at some point in your life,

1542
01:12:49.700 --> 01:12:52.420
you were dating or seeing or talking to someone

1543
01:12:52.420 --> 01:12:55.700
that you thought was really a great person, loved God,

1544
01:12:55.700 --> 01:12:57.480
and then you felt like God said,

1545
01:12:57.480 --> 01:12:59.140
no, they're not the right one for you,

1546
01:12:59.140 --> 01:13:01.320
and you cut it off with no confirmations.

1547
01:13:01.320 --> 01:13:02.180
You just cut it off.

1548
01:13:02.180 --> 01:13:03.860
And now, years later, you're like,

1549
01:13:03.860 --> 01:13:05.500
man, did I do the right thing?

1550
01:13:05.500 --> 01:13:07.220
Maybe that wasn't God.

1551
01:13:07.220 --> 01:13:08.500
Let me see those hands.

1552
01:13:11.940 --> 01:13:13.180
That's a lot of people.

1553
01:13:14.300 --> 01:13:16.820
And the hands keep coming, all right?

1554
01:13:16.820 --> 01:13:20.420
So we wanna make sure that we are getting confirmations.

1555
01:13:20.420 --> 01:13:22.900
The word of God says, through a multitude of counsel,

1556
01:13:22.900 --> 01:13:25.340
the word of God says, through two or three witnesses,

1557
01:13:25.340 --> 01:13:28.580
let words be established, especially important words,

1558
01:13:28.580 --> 01:13:32.580
important words that have to do with big, huge life changes.

1559
01:13:32.580 --> 01:13:33.960
Cool?

1560
01:13:33.960 --> 01:13:35.100
All right, so Lauren,

1561
01:13:35.100 --> 01:13:39.180
you are going to sit in the tension of this.

1562
01:13:39.180 --> 01:13:41.940
I do think that you've been dating him long enough

1563
01:13:41.940 --> 01:13:44.540
that you really do either need to,

1564
01:13:44.540 --> 01:13:45.820
it's still a yes,

1565
01:13:45.820 --> 01:13:47.340
because there's enough that you're like,

1566
01:13:47.340 --> 01:13:49.120
man, I really could build a life with this person.

1567
01:13:49.120 --> 01:13:51.340
Yeah, they don't have the same hobbies as me,

1568
01:13:51.340 --> 01:13:53.580
but the important things are more important to me.

1569
01:13:53.580 --> 01:13:55.980
Or you're like, I need to cut this guy loose

1570
01:13:55.980 --> 01:13:57.940
because I'm gonna break his heart.

1571
01:13:57.940 --> 01:13:59.500
Yeah, that's the latter.

1572
01:14:00.780 --> 01:14:03.440
There's a three-hour difference also,

1573
01:14:03.440 --> 01:14:07.060
and he very much is ingrained in his community,

1574
01:14:07.060 --> 01:14:08.380
doesn't see himself moving.

1575
01:14:08.380 --> 01:14:11.380
So I've literally tried to do the things,

1576
01:14:11.380 --> 01:14:12.620
keep myself open to moving.

1577
01:14:12.620 --> 01:14:13.460
I could move.

1578
01:14:13.460 --> 01:14:14.700
I've homeschooled my kids.

1579
01:14:15.700 --> 01:14:18.700
And I just, every time I don't have peace about it,

1580
01:14:18.700 --> 01:14:20.600
I look, I try to be like, oh, I'll go.

1581
01:14:20.600 --> 01:14:22.300
I see I'm inspired by all these ladies

1582
01:14:22.300 --> 01:14:24.420
and like they're moving and they're doing the things.

1583
01:14:24.420 --> 01:14:25.620
And I just, I don't have peace,

1584
01:14:25.620 --> 01:14:26.620
but you're the second person.

1585
01:14:26.620 --> 01:14:28.540
My other good friend also told me,

1586
01:14:28.540 --> 01:14:33.540
I just need to sit and listen to the Lord and wait.

1587
01:14:34.160 --> 01:14:36.940
But it could be this man taught me,

1588
01:14:39.540 --> 01:14:40.900
that there are good men out there.

1589
01:14:40.900 --> 01:14:42.100
You're the second person to say that,

1590
01:14:42.100 --> 01:14:44.220
so just start out out there, but thank you.

1591
01:14:44.220 --> 01:14:45.060
Thank you.

1592
01:14:45.060 --> 01:14:46.340
Yeah, no, you're welcome.

1593
01:14:46.340 --> 01:14:47.180
You're welcome.

1594
01:14:47.180 --> 01:14:48.000
See this avocado, y'all?

1595
01:14:48.000 --> 01:14:50.460
I'm gonna eat this avocado when this is over.

1596
01:14:50.460 --> 01:14:51.500
It's right here.

1597
01:14:51.500 --> 01:14:54.180
It's been sitting here, staring at me, looking good.

1598
01:14:54.180 --> 01:14:55.020
Okay.

1599
01:14:55.020 --> 01:14:55.840
All right.

1600
01:14:55.840 --> 01:15:00.100
So Lauren, thank you so much for jumping in the.

1601
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.520
Love seat, we appreciate your vulnerability.

1602
01:15:03.520 --> 01:15:05.000
All right, let's see, we're at 819.

1603
01:15:05.000 --> 01:15:07.340
Okay, so we're gonna go ahead and shift

1604
01:15:07.340 --> 01:15:09.400
to our single spotlight questions.

1605
01:15:10.360 --> 01:15:12.160
Let's see, how important is it

1606
01:15:12.160 --> 01:15:17.160
a romantic relationship has a plan, has a planner?

1607
01:15:18.040 --> 01:15:20.160
Oh, so in a romantic relationship, Marshall,

1608
01:15:20.160 --> 01:15:22.060
you're saying how important is for one of the people

1609
01:15:22.060 --> 01:15:23.040
to be a planner?

1610
01:15:23.040 --> 01:15:24.760
Well, unless you just wanna walk around

1611
01:15:24.760 --> 01:15:25.800
in circles all the time,

1612
01:15:25.800 --> 01:15:27.440
someone needs to be a little bit organized.

1613
01:15:27.440 --> 01:15:30.160
Someone needs to have some time management skills,

1614
01:15:31.080 --> 01:15:33.040
because otherwise it's just like, what are we doing today?

1615
01:15:33.040 --> 01:15:34.160
Oh, I don't know, what do you wanna do?

1616
01:15:34.160 --> 01:15:35.520
I don't know, what do you wanna do?

1617
01:15:35.520 --> 01:15:36.840
And we don't want that.

1618
01:15:36.840 --> 01:15:40.720
Remember that cartoon with the little birds on the wire?

1619
01:15:40.720 --> 01:15:42.320
Yeah, we don't want that.

1620
01:15:42.320 --> 01:15:46.760
Someone has to have a plan, a vision.

1621
01:15:46.760 --> 01:15:48.840
I usually find in relationships,

1622
01:15:48.840 --> 01:15:50.160
one person's a visionary

1623
01:15:50.160 --> 01:15:51.920
and the other person's an implementer.

1624
01:15:51.920 --> 01:15:54.200
In our marriage, I think you can go ahead

1625
01:15:54.200 --> 01:15:57.000
and guess who the visionary is, moi.

1626
01:15:57.560 --> 01:15:59.200
And my husband is really good at executing things.

1627
01:15:59.200 --> 01:16:04.200
He's a really good partaker of my shenanigans.

1628
01:16:04.200 --> 01:16:07.160
I'm a shenanigator, right?

1629
01:16:07.160 --> 01:16:09.240
I'm an instigator, I'm a shenanigator.

1630
01:16:09.240 --> 01:16:13.040
And he is a great implementer of those shenanigans.

1631
01:16:13.040 --> 01:16:14.480
I'm like, hey, babe.

1632
01:16:14.480 --> 01:16:16.320
And he's like, what?

1633
01:16:16.320 --> 01:16:19.880
And I'm like, wouldn't it be cool if we, yes.

1634
01:16:19.880 --> 01:16:21.920
And then he does it and he's like, this is fun.

1635
01:16:21.920 --> 01:16:23.360
And then it's like, great.

1636
01:16:23.360 --> 01:16:26.200
Okay, so yes, we do want those complimentary opposites,

1637
01:16:26.200 --> 01:16:28.920
you guys, as long as remember those foundational truths,

1638
01:16:28.920 --> 01:16:33.360
those foundational goals, desires, those are the same.

1639
01:16:33.360 --> 01:16:35.720
It's gotta be the same, all right.

1640
01:16:35.720 --> 01:16:37.880
All right, so we're gonna go ahead

1641
01:16:37.880 --> 01:16:40.120
and we're going to highlight both of our guys

1642
01:16:40.120 --> 01:16:43.960
and we're gonna let you ask them all the questions.

1643
01:16:44.800 --> 01:16:46.960
I'm gonna go ahead and be the MC

1644
01:16:46.960 --> 01:16:49.680
as far as I'm gonna read the question out to you guys

1645
01:16:49.680 --> 01:16:51.480
and then you're gonna answer them.

1646
01:16:51.480 --> 01:16:54.280
So let's put equal number of ones up

1647
01:16:54.280 --> 01:16:57.160
for Chris and for Nitin, please.

1648
01:16:58.200 --> 01:17:03.200
And spotlighting and done.

1649
01:17:04.240 --> 01:17:07.560
All right, so let me go ahead and see.

1650
01:17:07.560 --> 01:17:09.360
Go ahead and start putting those up.

1651
01:17:11.480 --> 01:17:14.240
I'm scrolling all the way down to the bottom, okay.

1652
01:17:15.360 --> 01:17:18.040
My husband is an only child, Susan, I'm so sorry.

1653
01:17:18.040 --> 01:17:21.200
He has an imaginary brother named George though,

1654
01:17:21.200 --> 01:17:22.240
but that's it.

1655
01:17:22.240 --> 01:17:24.280
Just an imaginary brother named George.

1656
01:17:24.280 --> 01:17:27.080
Flat George, piece of cardboard that lived under his bed.

1657
01:17:27.080 --> 01:17:28.600
You guys, is that not the saddest thing

1658
01:17:28.600 --> 01:17:30.320
you've ever heard in your life?

1659
01:17:31.320 --> 01:17:32.880
Okay, all right.

1660
01:17:32.880 --> 01:17:34.800
Shenanigator, how tall is Nitin?

1661
01:17:34.800 --> 01:17:36.600
Nitin, they wanna know how tall you are,

1662
01:17:36.600 --> 01:17:38.120
but you're like 5'10", right?

1663
01:17:38.120 --> 01:17:39.920
Nope, 5'8".

1664
01:17:39.920 --> 01:17:42.240
5'8", 5'8", of course.

1665
01:17:42.240 --> 01:17:43.920
On his license though, 5'10",

1666
01:17:43.920 --> 01:17:45.920
but 5'8 is a very respectable height

1667
01:17:45.920 --> 01:17:47.680
because most men are 5'8 or 5'9",

1668
01:17:47.680 --> 01:17:49.080
and we all know it's true.

1669
01:17:49.080 --> 01:17:52.200
All right, Nitin, what is the meaning of your name?

1670
01:17:52.200 --> 01:17:54.600
As I shall sow, so shall I reap.

1671
01:17:55.720 --> 01:17:57.120
Really?

1672
01:17:57.120 --> 01:17:59.800
Wow, I didn't expect that.

1673
01:17:59.800 --> 01:18:00.760
That's awesome.

1674
01:18:00.760 --> 01:18:02.880
All right, both guys, do you dance?

1675
01:18:02.880 --> 01:18:04.000
And if so, what kind?

1676
01:18:04.000 --> 01:18:08.200
Salsa, bachata, bachata, ballroom, what do you got?

1677
01:18:10.960 --> 01:18:12.040
Take turns, go ahead.

1678
01:18:13.200 --> 01:18:15.400
I do not dance well,

1679
01:18:15.400 --> 01:18:18.760
but I'm open to learning with and for the right person.

1680
01:18:19.440 --> 01:18:20.360
I'll put it that way.

1681
01:18:20.360 --> 01:18:22.200
All right, you like it?

1682
01:18:22.200 --> 01:18:25.480
I like dancing, ballroom, ball, salsa, merengue,

1683
01:18:25.480 --> 01:18:27.480
tango, foxtrot.

1684
01:18:29.200 --> 01:18:30.120
All right.

1685
01:18:30.120 --> 01:18:33.720
So I love dancing, I need a good dance partner.

1686
01:18:33.720 --> 01:18:34.560
I love it.

1687
01:18:34.560 --> 01:18:37.160
Okay, so what age ranges are you guys looking for?

1688
01:18:37.160 --> 01:18:39.200
I'm gonna skip that,

1689
01:18:39.200 --> 01:18:40.840
but are you open to children still?

1690
01:18:40.840 --> 01:18:42.840
None of you, neither one of you have had children,

1691
01:18:42.840 --> 01:18:46.880
so what, are you open to,

1692
01:18:46.920 --> 01:18:48.880
or do you wanna have biological children?

1693
01:18:48.880 --> 01:18:50.240
Are you looking to do that?

1694
01:18:51.720 --> 01:18:54.120
Yes, Jackie, but I'll leave it up to the Lord.

1695
01:18:54.120 --> 01:18:56.760
If it's adoption, then so be it.

1696
01:18:56.760 --> 01:19:00.480
So I keep my options open on that front.

1697
01:19:00.480 --> 01:19:01.840
Okay, Chris?

1698
01:19:01.840 --> 01:19:03.160
And for me, I would say,

1699
01:19:03.160 --> 01:19:05.920
I believe that kids are in my future.

1700
01:19:05.920 --> 01:19:10.920
And like Jaden said, whether biological or otherwise,

1701
01:19:12.200 --> 01:19:13.640
leave that up to the Lord.

1702
01:19:14.520 --> 01:19:18.280
And are either one of you open to children

1703
01:19:18.280 --> 01:19:21.160
that are already here in the woman you fall in love

1704
01:19:21.160 --> 01:19:23.160
with life, that you're bonus children

1705
01:19:25.160 --> 01:19:27.240
from other marriages with them,

1706
01:19:27.240 --> 01:19:28.920
or just they have kids already.

1707
01:19:28.920 --> 01:19:30.520
Are you open to women with kids?

1708
01:19:31.680 --> 01:19:34.200
You know, I would say yes.

1709
01:19:34.200 --> 01:19:37.040
I've kind of gone back and forth in my mind about that

1710
01:19:37.040 --> 01:19:40.160
because it's a little bit intimidating

1711
01:19:40.160 --> 01:19:42.280
as a guy to go from zero to dad,

1712
01:19:42.640 --> 01:19:45.440
zero to 60 really quickly,

1713
01:19:45.440 --> 01:19:48.440
because a lot of people get to do that as a process.

1714
01:19:48.440 --> 01:19:51.920
And it's a complicated thing to navigate,

1715
01:19:51.920 --> 01:19:55.480
I think with the dating phase especially,

1716
01:19:55.480 --> 01:19:58.120
but I think with the right person,

1717
01:19:58.120 --> 01:19:59.800
I would definitely be open to it.

1718
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:03.560
All right, I let go, Chris, I'm on the fence.

1719
01:20:03.560 --> 01:20:09.120
So my preference is if they are small kids like less than five years, it's doable.

1720
01:20:09.120 --> 01:20:12.680
But beyond that, I honestly, I'm not quite sure.

1721
01:20:12.680 --> 01:20:14.200
Okay, that's fair.

1722
01:20:14.200 --> 01:20:16.840
And are either one of you willing to relocate?

1723
01:20:16.840 --> 01:20:21.800
So Nitin, you're in Raleigh, and, and Chris is in Austin.

1724
01:20:21.800 --> 01:20:24.920
Yep, as the Lord leads, not a problem.

1725
01:20:24.960 --> 01:20:28.320
I hope that I will not go to Florida, too hot and humid for me.

1726
01:20:28.320 --> 01:20:34.200
My Florida ladies are like, Oh, no, don't you know?

1727
01:20:36.360 --> 01:20:41.560
Yeah, you know, as I alluded to before, the Lord really providentially and

1728
01:20:41.560 --> 01:20:43.240
supernaturally brought me to Austin.

1729
01:20:43.720 --> 01:20:48.720
And I think that my, my motto for that is I'm planted in Austin until I'm not.

1730
01:20:48.880 --> 01:20:53.200
And that can happen very quickly, you know especially when the Lord is

1731
01:20:53.200 --> 01:20:54.960
coordinating something with someone else.

1732
01:20:55.960 --> 01:20:57.760
It really could be a blink of an eye.

1733
01:20:57.760 --> 01:21:00.960
So yeah, I'm open.

1734
01:21:01.440 --> 01:21:03.760
If, if, if I get a green light,

1735
01:21:04.800 --> 01:21:06.080
me, that's awesome.

1736
01:21:06.400 --> 01:21:10.400
We do both of you open to I'm sorry, go ahead and what'd you say you to I'm just

1737
01:21:10.400 --> 01:21:11.280
saying me too.

1738
01:21:11.280 --> 01:21:14.720
I have nothing to there's nothing in Raleigh that is holding me back.

1739
01:21:14.720 --> 01:21:16.680
So if God says move, then it's move.

1740
01:21:17.480 --> 01:21:17.920
Got it.

1741
01:21:17.920 --> 01:21:18.400
Love it.

1742
01:21:18.640 --> 01:21:22.600
Are both of you open to all ethnicities of partner?

1743
01:21:24.080 --> 01:21:24.480
For sure.

1744
01:21:24.480 --> 01:21:25.000
Yes.

1745
01:21:26.120 --> 01:21:26.760
All right.

1746
01:21:27.280 --> 01:21:35.640
Um, I'm not open to black or, um, Asian, but as I said, I'm going to keep my eyes.

1747
01:21:35.880 --> 01:21:37.320
I'm not attracted to black women.

1748
01:21:37.320 --> 01:21:39.360
So I just want to make that clear.

1749
01:21:39.640 --> 01:21:42.320
But other ethnicities I'm open.

1750
01:21:43.520 --> 01:21:47.520
So I think that that, I think that's a very, you know, authentic and, and, you

1751
01:21:47.520 --> 01:21:50.520
know, a thing to say, especially in a group forum like this.

1752
01:21:50.800 --> 01:21:54.920
So all of you have preferences and all of you have things that you're not familiar

1753
01:21:54.920 --> 01:21:56.760
with and that you may be.

1754
01:21:56.760 --> 01:21:58.560
And I've had people tell me this all the time.

1755
01:21:58.840 --> 01:22:05.480
In fact, what I have found a lot of times is that people actually are not open to a

1756
01:22:05.480 --> 01:22:10.240
lot of times their own ethnicity besides of course, plain old white people, but

1757
01:22:10.240 --> 01:22:14.400
like the Indian people that I have matched, like private clients, they always

1758
01:22:14.400 --> 01:22:19.760
tell me, yeah, I'm open to everyone, but my ethnicity, the, the Asian people that

1759
01:22:19.760 --> 01:22:22.760
I've matched a lot of times they're like, I'm open to anyone, but my ethnicity.

1760
01:22:23.000 --> 01:22:27.160
And I think that a lot of times that is, that is rooted in heartwounds and it's

1761
01:22:27.160 --> 01:22:31.240
rooted in, you know, like generational and family stuff and different things.

1762
01:22:31.240 --> 01:22:35.680
So I want to tell all of you, I asked the question, but I want to really

1763
01:22:35.680 --> 01:22:41.920
encourage you because God is making so many inter ethnic and interracial

1764
01:22:41.920 --> 01:22:47.000
matches in this day and age, please be open to people, regardless of culture,

1765
01:22:47.160 --> 01:22:51.200
regardless of skin color, regardless of anything, because you never,

1766
01:22:51.200 --> 01:22:53.360
ever know what God is wanting to do.

1767
01:22:53.360 --> 01:22:59.120
So just, just keep an open mind and open heart because God is the matchmaker and

1768
01:22:59.120 --> 01:23:00.880
we want to make sure that we're surrendering the pen.

1769
01:23:01.200 --> 01:23:02.640
So, um, okay.

1770
01:23:02.680 --> 01:23:06.160
So thanks for being honest about that, that you just haven't been attracted in

1771
01:23:06.160 --> 01:23:07.360
the past, but guess what?

1772
01:23:07.640 --> 01:23:08.680
The past is gone.

1773
01:23:08.920 --> 01:23:09.840
So we don't know.

1774
01:23:09.880 --> 01:23:10.640
We never know.

1775
01:23:10.760 --> 01:23:11.160
All right.

1776
01:23:11.400 --> 01:23:15.320
So let's see, what do you do for work and for fun?

1777
01:23:15.400 --> 01:23:17.960
Um, Nitin owns his own business.

1778
01:23:17.960 --> 01:23:20.120
What kind of business is it Nitin and Chris?

1779
01:23:20.200 --> 01:23:20.960
Uh, what do you do?

1780
01:23:22.480 --> 01:23:26.120
So Jackie, I just, I'm an independent consultant right now, and I'm in the

1781
01:23:26.120 --> 01:23:28.080
process of establishing my own company.

1782
01:23:28.480 --> 01:23:33.760
Um, so that's in the works, but in the future, I see more like IT consulting.

1783
01:23:35.880 --> 01:23:38.040
And then you want me to answer?

1784
01:23:38.040 --> 01:23:38.920
What do I do for fun?

1785
01:23:39.680 --> 01:23:40.320
Yes, please.

1786
01:23:40.600 --> 01:23:40.800
Okay.

1787
01:23:41.400 --> 01:23:43.080
Well, as I said, I love to dance.

1788
01:23:43.160 --> 01:23:44.360
I'm an outdoorsy guy.

1789
01:23:44.600 --> 01:23:45.720
I I'm active.

1790
01:23:45.880 --> 01:23:48.520
I cannot stay at home all the time.

1791
01:23:48.560 --> 01:23:49.640
So I need to get out.

1792
01:23:49.760 --> 01:23:50.760
I love to travel.

1793
01:23:51.240 --> 01:23:55.360
Um, definitely some, uh, internet international destinations are on the

1794
01:23:55.360 --> 01:23:59.640
list and I did a road trip to California by myself last year.

1795
01:23:59.720 --> 01:24:01.040
It was fantastic.

1796
01:24:01.040 --> 01:24:03.320
So I love on a long weekend.

1797
01:24:03.360 --> 01:24:05.280
Let's go and explore a new city.

1798
01:24:07.080 --> 01:24:07.320
Okay.

1799
01:24:07.320 --> 01:24:08.080
Yeah, that's fun.

1800
01:24:08.120 --> 01:24:08.360
Okay.

1801
01:24:08.360 --> 01:24:09.160
What about you, Chris?

1802
01:24:09.160 --> 01:24:11.240
What, what is it that you do exactly?

1803
01:24:11.240 --> 01:24:13.120
And what are your hobbies?

1804
01:24:13.560 --> 01:24:14.280
What's your fun?

1805
01:24:15.120 --> 01:24:19.120
Oh, work rides right now, actually very similar to Nitton, which is, which was

1806
01:24:19.120 --> 01:24:22.320
very interesting to me, Nitton, as you were sharing, uh, I'm working on

1807
01:24:22.320 --> 01:24:24.560
standing up a, a boutique consulting firm.

1808
01:24:24.600 --> 01:24:28.720
I have a number of folks I'm partnering with and we're getting together to, um,

1809
01:24:28.760 --> 01:24:33.600
to, to focus on international marketing consulting and market entry consulting.

1810
01:24:34.040 --> 01:24:38.280
And, and that's kind of adjacent to what I did before I moved to Austin, which was

1811
01:24:38.280 --> 01:24:43.080
I, I was in the federal government, uh, in an office that works on international

1812
01:24:43.120 --> 01:24:44.440
trade, uh, issues.

1813
01:24:44.920 --> 01:24:48.960
And so a lot of the international trade stuff that was in the news for the last

1814
01:24:48.960 --> 01:24:55.440
administration, I got to do stuff with, um, and so, uh, uh, workers consulting

1815
01:24:55.440 --> 01:24:59.840
essentially, and, uh, interest-wise, uh, also outdoors.

1816
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.880
of camping, super bummed that in Texas, you know, it's it's 90 degrees plus during the

1817
01:25:06.880 --> 01:25:11.120
day and then 80 degrees at night. It makes camping a whole lot harder as I discovered

1818
01:25:11.120 --> 01:25:19.360
in the winter time. Yeah, it's hot hotter than Satan's armpit here right now. Big fan

1819
01:25:19.360 --> 01:25:27.480
of hiking, big fan of travel. The Lord has really cultivated an interesting connection

1820
01:25:27.480 --> 01:25:31.480
between me and Finland in particular and a few other places in Europe, but especially

1821
01:25:31.480 --> 01:25:35.280
Finland. So I go over there at least two or three times a year to see friends in about

1822
01:25:35.280 --> 01:25:41.200
three or four different cities. And yeah, I think as I shared with you the other day

1823
01:25:41.200 --> 01:25:45.920
at coffee, Jackie, it's it's less for me about the thing to do and more about the people

1824
01:25:45.920 --> 01:25:53.800
that I'm doing it with. So I'm I'm super open to trying all kinds of things as long as I'm

1825
01:25:53.800 --> 01:25:54.800
with quality people.

1826
01:25:54.800 --> 01:25:55.800
Love that.

1827
01:25:55.800 --> 01:26:02.800
Sorry, Jackie. Love to go with you, man. Let's make let's plan a trip if we can.

1828
01:26:02.800 --> 01:26:08.960
Look, I made a match, you guys. The same consulting, they're going to be BFFs. Now they're going

1829
01:26:08.960 --> 01:26:17.920
to be friends. Okay, guys, the system works. Look, see? All right. Yeah, it works. It works.

1830
01:26:17.920 --> 01:26:22.640
Okay, the last and final question for both of you bachelor number one and two. And by

1831
01:26:22.640 --> 01:26:28.800
the way, we weren't at coffee. We were at matcha. There's this when you think it's Michelle's

1832
01:26:28.800 --> 01:26:32.140
question. I think it's so good, Michelle. Thanks for submitting it. What is your vision

1833
01:26:32.140 --> 01:26:37.520
when you think about your wife? What what is she like? You know, and we don't need to

1834
01:26:37.520 --> 01:26:42.760
talk about what she looks like. But what is she like? What characteristics does she carry?

1835
01:26:42.760 --> 01:26:47.040
You know, how does she make you feel as a man? You know, what kind of support does she

1836
01:26:47.040 --> 01:26:53.920
give you? Let's talk about what your wife, not your woman, but your wife. That's a thing.

1837
01:26:53.920 --> 01:26:59.640
What's the vision that you have about her? And do you want to run with that one first?

1838
01:26:59.640 --> 01:27:09.760
Or I can jump in? Go ahead, Chris. All right. I'll throw a few things out there. And they're

1839
01:27:09.760 --> 01:27:17.680
all in kind of the want to have list and and at varying levels of I think, importance.

1840
01:27:17.680 --> 01:27:24.280
I would say emotional intelligence is a big one. I'd say that they are ambitious or have

1841
01:27:24.280 --> 01:27:30.320
dreams that they're pursuing for something. Because as a man, it I think our wiring as

1842
01:27:30.320 --> 01:27:36.940
men is that we really want to add our strength to supporting our partner. And having having,

1843
01:27:36.940 --> 01:27:40.220
you know, them have a dream that they're pursuing something they're building something

1844
01:27:40.220 --> 01:27:44.580
they're running after. I've always found that the relationships I've been in have worked

1845
01:27:44.580 --> 01:27:50.140
better when I'm able to come alongside someone and support them. And then likewise, really

1846
01:27:50.140 --> 01:27:54.340
important to me for someone to have my back in the stuff that I'm pursuing and the stuff

1847
01:27:54.340 --> 01:27:59.500
that I'm building. I think it's really important that she is doing the work to be healed and

1848
01:27:59.500 --> 01:28:06.100
whole doesn't have to you know, I'm not arrived. I think none of us are really fully arrived.

1849
01:28:06.260 --> 01:28:12.740
But at least on the journey of healing, and and pursuing wholeness is really important

1850
01:28:12.740 --> 01:28:19.540
to me. I've been accused of being an old soul. So I've kind of felt sometimes that someone

1851
01:28:19.540 --> 01:28:24.940
with a with depth would be really nice. And then someone who's kind.

1852
01:28:24.940 --> 01:28:29.780
Yeah, that's so good. You guys reason why I didn't ask what their marriage looks like.

1853
01:28:29.780 --> 01:28:33.020
And that's also a good question. But what does the what's the woman that they want to

1854
01:28:33.020 --> 01:28:37.820
partner with? What does she like? What's her character like? What is she carrying?

1855
01:28:37.820 --> 01:28:42.260
Because at the end of this, as soon as Nitin goes, I'm going to invite you to email us

1856
01:28:42.260 --> 01:28:46.680
if you think that you fit that criteria. Now, I didn't ask them what age range you're looking

1857
01:28:46.680 --> 01:28:52.660
for, because I don't want you to email us to put your hat in the ring, so to speak for

1858
01:28:52.660 --> 01:28:59.060
either gentleman, if you are more than six years, either way of them, okay. And so I'm

1859
01:28:59.060 --> 01:29:04.020
going to keep it to six. That's what we're going to do. So please go ahead and email

1860
01:29:04.020 --> 01:29:11.100
us if you're within that six year age range of them. All right. Nitin said he's 52. Right.

1861
01:29:11.100 --> 01:29:16.620
And then Chris is 38. All right. And so we're going to keep it both ways. I know that men

1862
01:29:16.620 --> 01:29:20.220
are often like, well, I wouldn't like someone older, but you don't know until you know.

1863
01:29:20.220 --> 01:29:25.060
All right. And so let's keep it there. We'll actually do seven. We'll do seven years. And

1864
01:29:25.060 --> 01:29:29.860
so let's go ahead and put that there. So if you feel like they described you at the

1865
01:29:29.860 --> 01:29:35.540
end here, and you're willing to relocate or you, you know, you heard their preferences

1866
01:29:35.540 --> 01:29:41.060
and certain things, no children older than five, that kind of thing, then email us. And

1867
01:29:41.060 --> 01:29:45.420
you're going to put simply their name and the subject line, Chris or Nitin, you're going

1868
01:29:45.420 --> 01:29:48.500
to put their name in the subject line and you can, you can write us an email in the

1869
01:29:48.500 --> 01:29:53.840
body, but we need to know in the subject line, what you're emailing us about. It would be

1870
01:29:53.840 --> 01:29:58.640
easier for us to triage those emails to the right people in order to go through those

1871
01:29:58.640 --> 01:30:00.000
and make those introductions.

1872
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:01.200
Thank you so much.

1873
01:30:01.200 --> 01:30:02.960
Nitin, it's your turn.

1874
01:30:02.960 --> 01:30:04.480
Jackie, I'm 51.

1875
01:30:04.480 --> 01:30:05.320
So, oh yeah.

1876
01:30:05.320 --> 01:30:06.480
51, thank you.

1877
01:30:06.480 --> 01:30:07.520
Okay.

1878
01:30:07.520 --> 01:30:09.720
First of all, I'm not looking for perfection.

1879
01:30:09.720 --> 01:30:11.280
I'm not perfect.

1880
01:30:11.280 --> 01:30:14.480
So I want to, my vision of my wife is

1881
01:30:14.480 --> 01:30:16.160
somebody who's feminine,

1882
01:30:16.160 --> 01:30:19.240
somebody who's kind, understanding,

1883
01:30:19.240 --> 01:30:21.260
somebody I can trust.

1884
01:30:21.260 --> 01:30:23.320
That's very important to me.

1885
01:30:23.320 --> 01:30:26.640
Somebody that I can open up to, share my heart,

1886
01:30:26.640 --> 01:30:30.920
one who believes in teamwork, right?

1887
01:30:30.920 --> 01:30:35.480
We both compliment each other and God completes us.

1888
01:30:35.480 --> 01:30:40.080
I prefer somebody who is definitely active, right?

1889
01:30:40.080 --> 01:30:41.760
Has a vision of her own,

1890
01:30:41.760 --> 01:30:42.920
because I want to support her

1891
01:30:42.920 --> 01:30:44.720
in what God has called her to do.

1892
01:30:45.560 --> 01:30:48.320
I also believe in getting her support

1893
01:30:48.320 --> 01:30:51.640
and really being a kingdom building couple

1894
01:30:51.640 --> 01:30:55.240
and helping each other to fulfill our vision.

1895
01:30:55.240 --> 01:30:57.000
I want to travel.

1896
01:30:57.000 --> 01:30:58.560
I want to enjoy my life.

1897
01:30:58.560 --> 01:31:01.680
I want to have fun in my marriage.

1898
01:31:01.680 --> 01:31:03.160
I've been waiting so long.

1899
01:31:03.160 --> 01:31:04.000
So it's all good.

1900
01:31:04.000 --> 01:31:05.480
No worries.

1901
01:31:05.480 --> 01:31:09.440
But I just want to, you know, seriously have fun,

1902
01:31:09.440 --> 01:31:11.120
enjoy what we do,

1903
01:31:11.120 --> 01:31:14.400
spend time together and do,

1904
01:31:14.400 --> 01:31:16.780
and take on this journey called life.

1905
01:31:17.840 --> 01:31:18.680
Yes.

1906
01:31:18.680 --> 01:31:19.520
Love that.

1907
01:31:19.520 --> 01:31:20.340
Guys, we want to have fun.

1908
01:31:20.340 --> 01:31:22.680
Raise your hand if you've been waiting for a long time

1909
01:31:22.680 --> 01:31:23.840
to partner with someone

1910
01:31:23.840 --> 01:31:26.760
and you want to have a fun marriage.

1911
01:31:26.760 --> 01:31:27.680
You do.

1912
01:31:27.680 --> 01:31:29.680
Obviously it's going to be full of all those deeper,

1913
01:31:29.680 --> 01:31:32.480
more spiritual things and building a family and a legacy,

1914
01:31:32.480 --> 01:31:34.000
but you also want to have fun.

1915
01:31:34.000 --> 01:31:35.120
You want to have some things in common.

1916
01:31:35.120 --> 01:31:36.840
You want to enjoy each other's personalities.

1917
01:31:36.840 --> 01:31:37.980
Be compatible.

1918
01:31:37.980 --> 01:31:40.440
My husband is my best friend.

1919
01:31:40.440 --> 01:31:42.440
Best friends make the best lovers.

1920
01:31:42.440 --> 01:31:43.280
Amen.

1921
01:31:43.280 --> 01:31:44.100
Amen.

1922
01:31:44.100 --> 01:31:44.940
All right.

1923
01:31:44.940 --> 01:31:45.780
Okay.

1924
01:31:45.780 --> 01:31:47.740
Well, guys, thank you so much for coming tonight.

1925
01:31:47.740 --> 01:31:49.680
We really appreciate you so much.

1926
01:31:49.680 --> 01:31:52.840
Remember, email us if you feel like you fit that criteria

1927
01:31:52.840 --> 01:31:54.200
and you feel you fit some of the other

1928
01:31:54.200 --> 01:31:57.240
more practical criterias that we put forth tonight.

1929
01:31:57.240 --> 01:31:58.520
All right.

1930
01:31:58.520 --> 01:32:01.720
And go ahead and put their first name,

1931
01:32:01.720 --> 01:32:04.360
Nitin or Chris in the subject line of that email

1932
01:32:04.360 --> 01:32:06.160
so we can sort through those emails

1933
01:32:06.160 --> 01:32:08.120
because I have a feeling we're going to get a bunch.

1934
01:32:08.120 --> 01:32:08.960
All right.

1935
01:32:08.960 --> 01:32:12.560
And it's super important that we're able to do that quickly.

1936
01:32:12.560 --> 01:32:14.440
We don't want to be waiting forever.

1937
01:32:14.440 --> 01:32:16.040
We want to go ahead and move forward.

1938
01:32:16.040 --> 01:32:20.880
Now, if you do not hear back from us after you send us that,

1939
01:32:20.880 --> 01:32:22.280
and it's been a week,

1940
01:32:22.720 --> 01:32:26.440
that means that we did not think that it was a good match

1941
01:32:26.440 --> 01:32:29.680
and we did not make the introduction for whatever reason,

1942
01:32:29.680 --> 01:32:31.920
or we did make the introduction

1943
01:32:31.920 --> 01:32:34.600
as far as we gave all the profiles to the guys

1944
01:32:34.600 --> 01:32:36.640
and they did not, you know,

1945
01:32:36.640 --> 01:32:39.360
decide to move further in talking to you.

1946
01:32:39.360 --> 01:32:41.880
Remember, not everyone can fall in love with you,

1947
01:32:41.880 --> 01:32:42.920
only the right one.

1948
01:32:42.920 --> 01:32:44.400
So we're not going to be offended by that

1949
01:32:44.400 --> 01:32:46.520
because it's a yes until it's a no.

1950
01:32:46.520 --> 01:32:49.160
And it's like, thank you, next.

1951
01:32:49.160 --> 01:32:50.720
And we're going to be doing single spotlights

1952
01:32:50.720 --> 01:32:52.560
every week going forward, you guys.

1953
01:32:52.560 --> 01:32:54.800
And so there's going to be lots of men and women,

1954
01:32:54.800 --> 01:32:58.840
plus the LYS community portal on the app

1955
01:32:58.840 --> 01:33:01.080
is going to be opening really soon.

1956
01:33:01.080 --> 01:33:04.280
And you guys can make your own introductions with each other

1957
01:33:04.280 --> 01:33:05.640
and that'll be great as well.

1958
01:33:05.640 --> 01:33:06.480
All right.

1959
01:33:06.480 --> 01:33:07.320
Love y'all.

1960
01:33:07.320 --> 01:33:08.160
Have an amazing night.

1961
01:33:08.160 --> 01:33:09.000
See you soon.

1962
01:33:09.000 --> 01:33:09.840
Bye everyone.

1963
01:33:09.840 --> 01:33:10.920
Bye. Thank you, Chris.

1964
01:33:10.920 --> 01:33:11.760
Thank you, Nitin.

1965
01:33:11.760 --> 01:33:12.600
Bye-bye.