If you're going to mute yourself, I'm going to tell you right now, if your little microphone
is off or on, it's not going to be red.
You should see a little red microphone in your bottom right-hand corner, left-hand corner,
if you're looking at the screen.
You should see a little microphone that's red with a little slash through it, meaning
that it's off.
If it's not, it'll be gray and it'll be moving because it is picking up your sound.
If you're yelling at your kids or the dog or you're talking to someone or talking to
yourself, we're all going to hear you.
Let's make sure that we keep it muted unless you are sharing, and then of course you can
unmute yourself.
If your camera is red, the little camera, if it has a red slash through it, that means
your camera is off.
If your camera is not red, that means your camera is on.
Please, if your camera is on, please be intentional, knowing that your camera is on.
Do not be moving back and forth throughout in your screen.
Don't be walking on your treadmill.
Don't be eating, slurping your soup, eating your food.
All of that is not something that you want to do on camera.
Trust me, it's not.
Of course, if your camera's on, your clothes are on.
Let's make sure that we know if our cameras are not on or if they are on, and of course,
act accordingly.
All right.
I'm excited about tonight, you guys.
This is our PATH session for this month, and we are going to go after dating resumes,
but before we do that, we're going to have a little family time.
For our family time, our friend, Nitin, is going to come back.
He was on our last single spotlight, and Nitin has a few things that he would like to share
with the group.
Him and I talked about him sharing tonight, so I'm going to go ahead and put him here
with me.
Okay.
Thank you, Jackie.
Hi, Nitin.
Hello, Jackie.
How are you?
I am relaxed and blessed.
How are you?
Well, I'm not relaxed, but I am blessed, so I'm trying to get relaxed here.
Hold on a second.
Let me add my spotlight.
All right.
Me and Nitin are together.
Okay.
All right.
Nitin had a couple things on his heart that he wanted to share with the community, and
so just a couple seconds, Nitin, I'll go ahead and give you the floor there.
Well, thank you, Jackie.
So, ladies, I think with regards to my response to some of the questions on the spotlight,
I wanted to say that I didn't mean to be disrespectful or offensive to anybody in any way, form,
or shape, and I believe that people were offended.
I apologize.
That was not the intention.
I am learning to give the pen to the Lord to write my story, and I think there was one
question around my preference regarding ladies who have kids.
So I wanted to clear the air that I am absolutely open to dating or ladies with kids.
I have never been married.
I have never had kids, and father is a huge responsibility, so taking something that enormous
on my shoulders, it scares.
It scares the living daylight out of me because I really want to do the best job I can as
a father, and having never done that before, well, it's a tough call.
So I just wanted to, and I want to say this, as I'm giving the pen to the Lord, I'm open
to what he has for me, and that's all I wanted to share, Jackie.
All right.
Okay.
Thank you, Nitin.
So Nitin is saying, hey, if anyone was offended by any of his answers, not just that answer,
but any answers about preferences, and we had a special session about preferences, how
they can come across as prejudices and even biases, and all of you have preferences.
If I got you in the spotlight and asked you questions about what you like or what you
don't like, you would probably say something that would be offensive to somebody, and so,
because nowadays, you know, it's not hard.
It isn't hard.
And so, just as a kingdom community, we have to be really aware that some things that we
might say in the, just in the context of community and talking about ourselves and about likes
and dislikes and, you know, what we think is good or not good, that could really come
across as very hurtful and harmful.
And so, let's definitely be intentional with our words.
Let's be intentional with our words.
Let's weigh our words before we speak them out loud in the community.
Of course, we want to show up here and be ourselves, but we also want to present anything
in our hearts to the Lord when it comes to preference, because it might be hiding a prejudice
or a bias.
You or your preference might actually be hiding an ism.
That's a schism in the body, an ism.
Racism.
Ageism.
Okay.
There's there's sexism.
It could be all kinds of different things.
And so it's important that we're putting those things before the Lord,
and allowing the Lord to show us,
Show us what is really at the root of those preferences.
And the other thing I want to tell you guys about your type.
And we're gonna talk about this in dating.
Resumes tonight.
If your type isn't working out for you,
You got to let it go.
If it's not working out for you,
Then it's your turn to go out with your type.
So my way of what I'm talking about is.
You got to let it go.
If it's not working out for you,
Then it's your turn to let it go.
And I'm not saying you can't do it.
You can do it.
You know what I mean?
I'm not saying you can't do it.
You know what I mean?
You can do it.
You know what I mean?
It's your time to let it go.
It's probably based on really bad broken information. Right.
And so we want to let that go. Okay.
So before we go any further,
I just want to take off the spotlights here.
All right.
And I want to remove the spotlight from myself as well.
All right. All right. Now we're back.
We're back to the group.
All right.
It's a little scary, isn't it?
But remember the one that created you knows you better than you know
yourself.
We're going to find out how well you know yourself tonight during our,
our dating resume activity tonight, it's going to be fun.
We're going to have a good time,
but he knows you better than you know yourself. He knows what you,
not just what you want, but also what you need.
And he knows how to get it to you,
and he knows how to get it to you.
And he knows how to get it to you.
And I think that's what we're all here for.
We want to stop digging ditches where it's not going to rain.
And we want God to bring us to the place of abundance.
We definitely want to, you guys, Christmas in July. Don't forget my husband.
He went into the, I was in the room.
Putting away some clothes and he went into the bathroom and he was in
there for a long time. And I was just like, what are you doing?
You know,
Because he wasn't going to the bathroom TMI. He wasn't,
he was just in there.
And it was just a few minutes ago. And I was like,
What are you doing? What are you doing?
And he's like, I'm going to shave this off.
And I was like, why are you shaving?
And he's like, cause I look like Santa Claus.
And I was like, well, it's Christmas in July.
So maybe you're supposed to look like Santa Claus.
Cause his beard was growing in gray y'all. And he was like,
I'm going to shave this off. And I said, well, maybe.
You're meant to have it because that's just a confirmation that it's
Christmas in July.
All right.
Fun stuff.
Okay. I'm going to share my screen here in a minute.
I'm going to share my screen here in a minute.
So make sure that you have something to write with.
I'll go ahead and give you a minute to get something.
Get a.
Notebook.
I suggest that you get something old fashioned,
like a pen and paper for tonight.
The PDF that I'm going to share my screen and show you is downloadable.
So you can download it.
And you can put in your own,
your own things in these blanks.
Instead of what we have here.
So that you can actually make it into a dating resume.
Right. Okay.
Okay.
All right. Can everybody see that?
Right.
Now let me just get all of you beautiful people back up here so I can
see you.
Okay.
All right. Okay. Everyone can see my screen. Correct.
Where's my toolbar at.
All right.
Okay. You guys, this is a dating resume.
Okay.
All right.
Someone just unmute really quickly and tell us why do you,
why do we create resumes for jobs? What, why, what,
what is that all about?
Someone unmute and give us an answer.
I got one.
Okay.
Well,
description and they want to have and they told me and you put it and you add a cover
layer to it to convince them even more.
Okay, awesome.
All right.
Good, Hunter.
Who else?
Showing your best qualities upfront.
Go ahead.
What?
Say it again.
Showing your best qualities upfront.
Okay.
All right.
So put those answers in the chat.
And the reason why we send a resume ahead of a meeting is because we want to allow this
person, this employer, this HR person, this human resources person to know who we are.
Resumes are introductions to us.
If it's for a job, like Hunter said, it's going to list out your skills, your experience.
Why am I applying for this job?
What makes me think that I'm qualified for this job?
I'm going to show you on my resume why I think I'm qualified.
Hunter even mentioned a cover letter.
So that's where we convince them to give us the interview because we really want the job.
And that's where we tell them about how we understand what the job is and how we're uniquely
qualified to fill it.
And so a dating resume is no different.
So a dating resume is about us digging down into what makes us unique, what makes us special,
what makes us a catch.
You guys know that in the Indian culture, they actually do have resumes for their children.
They have dating resumes for their children and the parents get together at parent parties
and they hand out their kid's resume to each other.
And then the parents decide who is going to meet their kid.
What do you guys think about that?
I think that if you trust your parents and you think your parents know what you want
and what you need, then that actually might be a great idea.
But for those of us that are not in that more orthodox Indian culture, for those of us that
are just in the plain old 2024 American culture or Canadian culture or European culture, we
don't do that.
So what's tonight's exercise is all about is you really getting clear.
It's about clarity.
It's about you really getting clear about what you want, about who you are, about what
you want, about what you're looking for, about what you don't want.
And remember, we're going to talk about non-negotiables from heaven.
If you are new, if you're in phase two and you have not really been around us that much,
we don't allow you to make a list.
You're not going to get a list guy, right?
We're not looking for a list guy because your list is probably based on broken information.
It's based on what I talked about at the beginning of the session, your type and your types not
working out for you.
So you got to stop looking for it.
And so hopefully you have dug into what's behind some of those list items so that you
can do this accurately tonight.
Because I feel like after this exercise is over, after this activity, after this session
is over, you're going to number one, see what makes you special and unique and why someone
should, why someone would be foolish not to love you or want to be with you.
What would make you a great partner, a great spouse, a great parent.
And then also to help you get more acquainted with your own heart and what you're looking
for and in what you think is really going to be a, you know, good complimentary opposite
to you.
Okay.
So it's going to be a fun time.
So because this is not editable, I'm just going to share the screen with you during
this session.
And you guys are going to go ahead and you're going to write down your answers on your paper
for these different categories.
And then, like I said, we'll make this available to you and you can do whatever you want with
it.
Okay.
All right.
So for the about me section, there's three qualities.
So go ahead and put quality number one, quality number two, and quality number three on your
paper.
All right.
So you see, we have some prompts here.
Number one, quality number one, describe this quality.
Why is this important?
How will it make your partner feel?
So it's giving you a feeling prompt.
So describe a quality about yourself that will make your partner feel a certain way.
Then prompt two is.
How will this quality benefit your partner?
How will it benefit them in life?
And then quality three,
the prompt is provide details about the situation
where this quality will play an important role.
So not only are you gonna name a quality,
you're also going to provide a little scenario
where this quality is actually going to come in handy
in relationship with you.
This is where you're selling yourself.
Quality one, two, and three.
And of course, I'm sure you guys have way more
than three qualities that make you valuable,
and amazing, and a great catch.
But we're gonna focus in on these three prompts.
So here's a couple ideas I have here.
So are you dependable?
Are you a reliable person?
Are you someone who's a really great listener?
Are you a great cook?
Are you an amazing cook?
And your partner is gonna be well-fed
for the rest of their lives.
Do you know how to make people laugh?
Like, are you funny?
Are you the kind of person that, you know,
diffuses tense situations with, you know, comfort?
You know, you bring peace.
Are you a peaceful person?
So we call this, I call this, you know,
we have brag on Jesus day on Fridays.
Well, this is brag on you.
This is a humble brag.
It's a humble brag because you should know
what's so amazing about yourself.
And if you have trouble coming up with three qualities
in these three categories,
then we gotta do some hard work
because that means you don't know yourself that well.
That means you've probably been really verbally abused
and emotionally abused.
And all you can think about is all of the problems
and all of the issues and all the bad things about yourself
that other people have told you, or you've told yourself.
I'm gonna give you a few minutes to go ahead and do this.
And then we're gonna share some of these.
I would put you in groups to do this,
but every time that happens,
people's internet kicks them out
and it just becomes a big mess.
So we're not gonna do that.
Your top three qualities of why someone should date you,
why someone should fall in love with you,
why you would make an amazing partner.
Are you stable?
Are you dependable?
Are you a hard worker?
Are you understanding?
Do you have a vibrant community of people
because you're so likable?
You're a likable person.
People like you.
You make people feel happy and comfortable.
Just go ahead and list them, Elsa.
It's not your job to judge them.
It's just your job to list them.
You guys, I don't want one word answers.
I want you to write it out.
Quality number one, I am this, and because I'm this,
this will make my partner feel blank.
Quality two, I carry this gift, this talent, this ability,
and this will benefit my partner in this way, blank,
whatever.
And then quality three, I have this quality,
and in this situation, this will be really important
in my marriage, in my partnership.
Here's an example.
I'm extremely intuitive.
I'm a very intuitive person.
I'm accurately intuitive.
I don't just have the gift of suspicion.
I have the gift of intuition.
I'm prophetic, and that benefits my husband
because when there is chaos and confusion,
I'm gonna be able to discern very easily what's happening.
And I'm gonna be able to give my husband valuable feedback
about the chaos and confusing situation
so that he can make a good, wise decision.
I'm an asset.
King David was married to a woman named Abigail.
That was one of his wives.
And it says in the Bible that he actually discussed war strategy with her.
He did.
He allowed her to be a strategist with him.
She wasn't just a wife.
She wasn't just a trophy wife.
She wasn't just something nice to look at.
He respected her advice and her wisdom in very important matters.
One of the reasons why this activity is so important, friends, is because when you show
up to a date, when you show up to a meetup, when you put yourself out on a dating app,
put your profile up, you need to know what makes you special.
You need to know that you're a catch.
You need to know that you're worthy of love.
You need to know good things about yourself.
You do.
All right.
Raise your hand if you need more time.
Okay, great.
All right.
Let's go ahead.
And we have a few people that need more time.
You guys keep working and we're going to go ahead and take a few.
I'm going to take a few volunteers to talk about themselves.
Humble brags about themselves.
And maybe if you won't volunteer, maybe I'll volun-tell you to share.
Maybe you'll be volun-told.
All right.
Let's see.
How about Leah?
Quality number one.
Hi, everybody.
Um, so for quality number one, I have, I am understanding,
and this will make my partner feel understood and safe.
That's good guys.
That's in the, that's in the chapter about, about love first Corinthians.
It says, do not love.
Doesn't seek to under be understood.
It seeks to understand.
So that is a fruit of the spirit going on there.
Right.
Okay.
Let's see.
How about, let's look at my little list right here.
Let's hear from Elena.
Sorry.
So one of mine was great listener.
Yeah.
Great listener.
Yeah.
Great listener.
This will make my partner feel seen, heard, and validated and feel
that they have a valuable voice.
Great.
Such a good one.
A lot of talkers, not a lot of listeners.
All right.
How about Rob?
Rob, what do you got for quality one?
All right.
Let's see.
Quality one.
Ooh, I think I just heard great listener.
So I wrote great listener, great listener slash attunement and containment.
I can offer attunement and containment.
I'm centered and peaceful and able to create calm in the toughest of situations.
Wow.
That's great.
Okay.
Love it.
All right.
We're going to go to quality number two.
Now, remember this quality, you're going to tell us what it is,
and then you're going to tell us how it's going to benefit your partner.
And we're going to start out with Alan.
Sorry, I was reaching for the mute button there.
Okay.
So I put, I am comforting and yes, as a man, I approach things logically,
but if you get me, you're not just getting a computer,
you're getting a human being so you can actually talk to me.
And I have a heart too.
So I can empathize and I'll actually listen to you.
Awesome.
Okay.
If you get Alan, you don't just get a computer,
but you get a man who's smart as a computer.
So there you go.
All right.
I love it.
Okay.
Let's see.
How about Brit?
Brit from San Francisco.
What you got?
I have hospitality.
I enjoy creating community and gathering people.
Awesome.
And how is that going to benefit your partner?
I think.
It's building, I mean, I think family seeds into that
of like how you build family
and stronger relationships with people.
Agreed.
Good.
All right, let's see.
How about Brenda Schnitzel?
No, I can't say it, Brenda, help me.
I can't sound things out.
You guys know this about me.
Shizik.
What is it?
Shizik, yes.
Shizik, okay, I made it harder than it was.
What do you have for quality two?
I love to learn and research and pay attention to details.
So if we wanted to travel,
I could plan and research ahead of time.
If we want to work on a project, I could look things up
and it's just, I love, that's something I love to do.
That's such an important quality.
All these qualities that you guys are mentioning
really are really amazing qualities
and are going to make someone really happy someday.
You can only have so much sex, friends,
and then you got to actually live life together.
And so if the person that you choose
doesn't know how to do anything
and they're not good at anything
and they don't have qualities that they know about
that they can actually use to benefit the partnership,
then you made the wrong alliance, right?
My husband can fix stuff and that's sexy, really is.
All right, okay, let's see, quality three.
Now we're going to tell them what this quality is
and then we're going to give a little scenario,
little role play of how it's going to be an important quality
or play an important role in your partnership.
Okay, and let's start out with, let's see, how about Bob?
What about Bob?
Bob Wisecarver, I can say that.
Is Bob here?
Bob, Bob, Bob.
Okay, Bob may not be actually in the room.
He may or may not be.
We'll come back, how about Thomas?
Sure, my third quality that I put down was patience.
I wrote, I tenaciously pursue life
and I'm willing to endure difficulty.
At work, I help create solutions
with people no one else will talk to.
My partner can learn and grow without pressure.
Yes, someone was actually bragging on you
to me the other day, Thomas,
telling me what a phenomenal man you are.
And so your reputation precedes you.
And I believe that what you just said
about yourself is true.
All right, how about, let's see,
I'm looking at, if you have your camera on,
this is how you get chosen.
So I'm looking at your little avatar faces.
All right, how about Abelinda?
Did I say that right?
Sorry if I didn't.
No, you said that right.
Okay, so for my third quality, I have, I'm a giver.
So I guess it plays in, it's an important role
because I tend to help people however they need help,
mostly with my time and or like anything I can, I guess,
anything I'm able to do, I do.
Okay, that's great.
All right, Marilyn Washington.
You look so serene with that coastal picture behind you,
like you're in Hawaii or something.
Yes, which is where I want to be soon, very soon.
Me too, let's go.
Awesome.
Come on, Jackie, you know, I will be your partner.
So I put this because it helps put people at ease
with laughter, especially in awkward situations.
And it's just something I find myself naturally doing
because I've been there where you're in that,
I don't know anyone or any kind of awkward situation
where you just feel out of the loop.
I just like to put humor in there
so people don't feel the way I used to feel.
It's good, so important, putting people at ease,
making people feel at home,
making them feel accepted and loved by.
Breaking the ice.
You guys.
Yeah, it is.
My favorite quality about myself is I'm fun, right?
Seriously, there's never a dull moment.
In fact, my husband's best friend,
when he was just my neighbor and we weren't dating,
he said, you know, that girl is party in a box.
She's a party in a box.
Let's just open the box and there's the party.
Okay, so it's true.
I want you to put your very favorite quality about yourself.
That's my favorite quality about myself.
Put it in the chat right now.
What's your favorite quality?
What's the quality that you think makes you
a winner, winner, chicken dinner?
Like, they should love me because I am amazing.
Hard alive, fun.
Ruth's fun with me with the fun girls.
Look at all the fun people.
Empathetic, love, the laugh, loyal.
Loyal is so important.
Honor, loving, good sense of humor,
problem solver, advocate, reliable, genuine.
Look at how amazing you guys are.
Do you feel Holy Spirit?
A great friend, so genuine, honest, a good listener.
Look at this funny, encouraging, innovative,
compassionate learner, lifetime learner,
compassionate heart.
Look at all these guys.
I feel Holy Spirit so much right now.
Passionate, witty.
Look at you, empathetic, encouraging, trusting,
loyal, persistent.
Woo, look at that.
Look at all these incredible, creative,
outgoing, smiley, positive, warm, affectionate.
You guys, look at how incredible you are.
Adventurous, two people.
If you're a guy and a girl that both put that up,
take a look, take a look at each other.
You can go on an adventure together, let's go.
Oh, three people.
No throuples, you guys, just couples.
No throuples.
If you don't know what that is, don't Google it.
Do not Google it, all right?
Please, woo, don't click on any videos.
It's three people in a relationship instead of two.
We used to call that something different,
but now they call it a throuple, no.
All right, problem solver.
Love it, love it, love it, love it, love it, love it.
Are any, has anybody raised your hand,
if man or woman, doesn't matter, if you're handy,
like you can fix things, like you can fix things.
You're just good at fixing stuff.
You'll figure it out.
You know, Ikea delivers you a box to the house
and there's all these millions of pieces and screws
and hardware and directions
in a different language than what you speak.
Can you put it together?
Can you figure it out and put it together?
My husband can, I can't.
I'm like, I'll give up after two seconds
and be like, nope.
All right, so good.
So many of you are handy.
I wanna see the, okay, so some of you can fix something.
That's great, I love that.
I want you to now, everyone put your hand down,
raise your hand if you can like write us a poem
or a song or paint us a picture.
You're like, you're really artsy, you're good.
You're good at like decorating.
You're good at cooking, I think is an art.
You're good at creative stuff.
You're a creative, like you're good at it.
All right, let's see what those things are in the chat.
I'd love to see drawing, poems, art, dance.
Let's see that, cooking, drawing,
clothes, singing, playing an instrument, all that.
Designing, design, poetry.
You guys, we need to have, we used to have this thing
that we used to do back in 2020.
And it was like a, not a talent show,
but it was like a show and tell.
And you'd show up and you would bring something with you
like that you've done, like that you've painted
or drawn or written, or, you know,
you can play an instrument or just kind of something
like you got on a trip to Fiji and you told about it,
like, hey, I went to Fiji, we should do that again.
Do you guys want to do that again?
That was so fun.
For those of you that are on my team that are married
and that were back then, you were during that era,
we had fun, didn't we?
Okay, photography, look at all those things.
All right, put the hands down, put the hands down,
put the hands down, put the hands down.
All right, if you were going to teach your partner
something, because you're kind of like an expert at it,
right, you just really know how to do it.
If you were going to teach your partner something,
or if you were going to teach someone something,
your partner, one of your sisters or brothers in here, me,
if you were going to teach us.
something, what would it be?
What can you teach?
What could you teach someone else?
How to cook, how to line dance.
Kim, Kim likes to line dance, guys.
Goal setting, cooking, volleyball.
How to ride a horse.
Woo, I'm scared of horses.
Triathlon, patriotism.
Okay, how to cook or bake.
Spanish, leadership, conflict resolution, pickleball.
Financial management, cooking, French.
Quilting, dancing, fly fishing.
Got a couple people saying dancing in here.
Take a look at each other.
Nittens, dancing.
Perla, you got dancing up there.
Someone else had dancing.
Take a look.
Boxing.
You gonna teach us how to box, Rob?
Really?
You gonna teach us how to self-defense?
Hopefully, that's what we need to learn.
Goal setting, baking, yummy treats.
Melissa can teach us how to dress.
I know, I know, I know.
Put your underwear on first.
That's how you get dressed.
How to clean, paddleboard, ride a camel.
She means as a stylist, you guys.
I know you know that.
Tenacity, counseling.
Cooking, baking, English, civics.
Look at all these different things
that you guys are like,
hey, I could teach someone this.
How to sew, how to make a budget,
how to garden, how to read.
How to fish.
Who wants to teach us how to fish?
Mike, Michael, teach us how to fish.
Visual organization.
More dancers, right.
How to pick the perfect donut.
That's important.
How to organize a closet.
Gail, you're hired.
Come on, let's go.
Smart goals.
Yep, I know what that means.
How to shoot videos, love it.
Swimming, salsa, surfing, scuba diving.
Look at all the water things that Anne-Marie
wants to teach us.
Oh, and also some other things.
Fashion, dance, gardening.
How to shop, how to shop, yes.
How to shoot pool.
Paul's gonna teach us how to be a pool shark.
So I want you to see all the amazing things
that each of you are carrying,
the qualities that you're carrying,
spiritual qualities, emotional qualities.
Also just practical qualities from your experience,
experiential qualities, decluttering, organizing.
Angie said how to be amazing.
All right, so good.
All right, let's go on to a perfect relationship, shall we?
Right, so look here.
It says, what are the top qualities or things
that matter to you the most in a relationship?
Guys, you only have room to A, B, C, D, E, F, G, seven.
Seven things.
And it could be an activity that's really important to you.
Like a lot of you are gonna put good church together,
I'm sure.
A quality in the other person that's really,
and remember, it's just not about them
because we're gonna get into like, what are you looking for?
This is a perfect relationship.
Like what are the top qualities or activities,
hobbies, things that you think make a perfect relationship?
And if you can't come up with seven, you don't have to.
Come up with three.
Let's go ahead and work on this.
Like, I think I'll give you some examples
in case you get stuck.
I think that a perfect relationship
is a missional relationship.
So you're working together to accomplish something,
whether that's flipping a house,
whether that's fostering a child,
whether that's, it doesn't matter what it is.
David and I just redid a kitchen together.
I mean, we planned it, someone else did it,
but I'm just saying, we worked on a project together.
We had a solitary focus.
Go ahead and write those down on your paper.
What are the top qualities or things that matter to you
the most when you're in relationship?
And for those of you that run out of things to talk about with people when you're on a
dating app or when you're on a, you know, one of those talking stage dates, you can
remember your dating resume.
You can take a look at it.
You can take it in the car with you and look at it before you go in.
Just so you know, you guys, with our, our, our new matchmaking platform that's connected
to our community is going to be done sooner rather than later.
It's going to be done this summer, sometime talk to the developer the other day, and it's
coming along and it's going to have the ability to group people for events.
And so group people by an algorithm of what the computer says, who should be compatible
and who should hang out together locally, regionally, and then people that are interested
in long distance that as well.
And I'm going to use that feature on our site to do something that I call blind dates.
And those blind dates will be decided for you and the person will be decided for you
and the prompts of which you will talk about with each other will also be decided for you.
And then you just have to play along and you just have to follow directions.
Right?
Okay.
So hopefully you guys have some of these done.
We've got to move forward.
All right.
So some of you have already started putting things up, being adventurous, worshiping the
Lord together, traveling together, being a kingdom building couple, praying, encouraging
people.
Out of all of the things on your list that are the most important to you in a relationship,
or you think that are going to matter the most to have that really symbiotic relationship,
what is the thing?
What is the most important thing besides worshiping together or going to church together?
Besides spiritual, what is the next most important thing to you?
Communication.
Okay.
Emotional closeness.
So emotional intimacy, positivity, loyalty, and remember you guys, these are not qualities
the other person carries.
Don't misunderstand this assignment.
These are activities and hobbies, all right?
And things you're going to share in common.
Things that you will share in common like sense of humor.
Yes.
Daily gratitude.
Yes.
You got it.
That's what this means.
Exercise.
Yes.
For some of you, exercise is life.
For all of us, exercise should be life, but that's a quality that you want in your perfect
relationship.
It's not a perfect relationship, but it's a perfect for you relationship.
Visiting each other's family.
So being with family, having good relationship with family.
That's important to you.
Being outdoors.
Someone doesn't want to marry a man who wants to stay inside.
She needs someone who's outdoorsy.
Respecting each other.
Josh too said outdoor quality time.
Got to love the beach.
If you're going to be with Carrie Ann, you got to love the beach.
She's a beach girl.
Kim as well.
She said, I go to the beach every week.
Got to be, a must, a must.
You like Kim or Carrie, you're going to have to have sand, got to have sand in your Speedos,
gentlemen.
You are going to be going to the beach.
Physical affection.
I hope you guys are reading.
These are really good.
Being focused on health.
All right.
So let's go down to activities that we do together.
All right.
And the one that I already said was what, what are you going to teach them?
What, what could they.
What could they learn from you?
We already put that up.
So let's do the other, let's do the other ones.
Passion.
How would you relax together?
What is your like, what is your vision of relaxing with your future spirit mate?
What does relaxation look like to you?
What are you going to do to relax together?
What are you going to do?
Walk on the beach.
And hopefully if you're putting this up, this is not just like a one and done like
vacation.
This is what are you going to do on a regular basis to relax together?
If you don't live by a beach, then that's not what you're going to do to relax together.
Remember, it's got to be based on what you have access to go on a walk.
Don't put travel. I don't think traveling is relaxing, but if you do, then that's good.
But traveling is super stressful. I mean, it's fun for sure, but it's not very relaxing.
Enjoy sunsets, nature, drink coffee together, snuggle, cuddle, read together. David and
I always threaten to get in bed like an hour before bedtime and read together. We have one
of those beds that goes so you can sit up in it, but then the sheets come off the corners and it's
the most annoying thing in the entire world, right? Every good thing has the negative to it,
but we are always like, we're going to get in bed and we're going to read, you know,
and then we don't, but we'd like to snuggle and watch movies. We do that for sure. Go to the
library, the bookstore together. Kim likes the books, quiet time, some kind of quiet time
together. Dessert, coffee, Star Trek binging. All right. That's very specific. Hunter thinks
that him and his wife are going to watch the NFL football highlights together as a relaxation,
but there's a woman out there that would love that. My best friend that lives in Ohio,
she loves sports, gets couples massages. Come on. She does not.
But Perla, that's, that's my love language. Massage is my love language. I love it. Okay.
All right. Let's do bangles. You guys like bangles? What the heck? I was born in Cleveland.
You're like cussing right now. This is cursing bangles, bangles, shmangles. Okay. All right.
Experience. Yes. The Browns, Janine. Don't make me bark like a dog. Okay. Experience.
Why should you try it together? What, what have you, what have you been waiting for your
spirit mate to do? People tell me all the time, like, oh, you know, I'm going to go on a cruise,
but I'm waiting to get, to get married. I'm going to buy a house, but I'm waiting to get married.
I'm going to go skydiving, but I'm waiting to get married. So what is an experience that you've been
waiting to have that special someone do with you? You're going to try it together. You've been just
dreaming about trying it together, traveling overseas, going to Tuscany. Now I'm not saying
you should wait to do this until you get married. I'm just saying, what is something that you really
want to try with your person going to Israel, scuba diving, going to Bora Bora, look at all
these ballroom dancing, traveling Italy, Greece, Paris, seven day cruise, visit out West hike bike,
lots of skydivers. Are you guys crazy? Why would you jump out of a perfectly good plane?
I mean, if the plane wasn't good and it wasn't airworthy, then I could see jumping, but no,
no, no hang gliding. Y'all are adventurous. You're way more adventurous than me. You guys like
Heights. Some of you guys like Heights, apparently hot air balloons, the Alps skydiving.
I feel like I don't know you all very well. You see how you're getting to know each other right
now. Look at all of the people that said skydiving in here. You should get together.
You should get together. Whoever you skydivers are and go jump out of a plane together. Look,
find each other. Cause y'all crazy. Go find each other right now in the chat,
find each other, get each other's phone numbers, go jump out of a plane.
Look at all these campers. We should put that on last trip single. I, well, we already have it on
there. We want to do a camping trip. The problem is, is everywhere we've chosen to go camping.
It's just way too hot. We've got to go somewhere cold. We can have a bonfire
camping, camping, glamping.
My idea of camping y'all is like a five-star Airbnb cabin with a hot tub, maybe an infrared sauna.
You know, helicopter rides. All right. Those are great. You guys, I love it. Yeah. A lot of you
are like, I'm a glamper. Yes. I must be a glamper. Cause I don't, I don't want to sleep in a tent on
the ground. And you guys, I have developed an unhealthy fear of bears just recently. I've
watched too many bear videos and now I'm just done. I'm done. Okay. Yesterday I went on a walk
right down my road and I saw a, um,
What are those things called?
A turkey vulture.
I saw a bobcat, a tarantula, a raccoon.
I saw all of those things on a walk.
I saw a tarantula.
He's just crossing the road, minding his own business.
He's pretty big, taranchy.
And then I saw a turkey vulture, which was huge.
It was big as a turkey, but it's a vulture.
And it's scary looking.
And then I saw a bobcat.
I saw a bobcat, you guys.
And I saw a raccoon.
Don wants to wait for her spirit mate to buy a yacht.
Don, can you buy a yacht, or are you
thinking that your spirit mate will be
the one that can buy the yacht?
Because same, girl, same.
My husband, I'm waiting for him to be able to buy a yacht.
No, I really don't like to sail that much,
so that wouldn't be right.
He's in here, you guys, and he's giving me the stink eye.
All right, here we go.
Now, what are you looking for?
Now, you guys, please, when you fill out this section,
remember what we said from the very beginning of this.
We want to surrender the pen to God.
And so right here, it says age, personality types, looks.
I don't want you to fill that out.
I want you to be like, I think, personality.
I think we can put that down.
Let's do what kind of personality,
and then what kind of qualities.
Let's just go with qualities.
Let's leave looks out of the equation, OK?
Let's leave looks and age range.
Let's leave all that out.
Let's just do some other things.
Let's do qualities.
What makes a great partner?
What would make you fall in love with them?
What's their personality like?
What are the things that they want out of life?
Maybe you're looking for someone who wants a family, someone
who's going to be a great bonus dad to your children
that you already have.
Maybe someone that wants to have children with you,
wants to foster or adopt.
Those are all the family kind of things.
Maybe you're looking for someone who's
really close to their family.
Maybe you're an only child, and you'd
love to be part of a big family.
So you want someone who really loves
their family and their siblings so
that you can marry into a great family,
because maybe you don't have one.
Maybe your parents are passed away.
So these are the kind of qualities that I want to see.
You guys, go ahead and work on it,
and then we can put them up.
Don't put them up yet.
Just work on them on your paper, and then we'll put them up.
You guys are quick.
Some of you like ambitious people.
Some of you are entrepreneurs, and you
want to marry someone who is an entrepreneur, someone
who will be supportive of an entrepreneur, someone
who's a go-getter.
Some of you like to get up in the morning
and run for miles when nothing's chasing you,
and you want someone to run with you.
All right.
Good for you.
Put that down.
You want someone who's physically fit.
Don't just put physically fit, but in what way
you're looking for someone who likes to do what,
if you want to exercise together.
You guys, I really want you to not write it just here.
I want you to write it on your paper, because remember,
you're going to fill this into your own dating resume.
That way, you can remind yourself of what it is that's
really important to you.
What are the most important qualities in this other person
to you?
The most important qualities.
What are the most important qualities
in this other person to you?
And not non-negotiables, because that's the next category.
So don't put those yet.
Don't put those yet.
These are just things that really matter to you,
that you would love for these qualities
to be in your future partner.
Some of you guys are already putting them up.
Angie put great bonus, dad, and I
thought it said great buns.
I promise you, I thought it said great buns.
And I promise you, I'm not exaggerating on that.
Angie put great bonus, dad.
That's great.
But I want you guys to notice, OK,
now that I'm reminding you of these qualities,
it was essentially, and I'm telling you
that now that you guys are noticing this,
I thought it said great buns.
And I was like, OK, Angie.
She's a wonderful person.
She's a great, smart person.
She's a great speaker and she's a great mother and she's a great
mother and she's a great mother.
And she's a great mother and she's a great mother.
And she's a great mother.
Family oriented,
family oriented,
great sense of humor,
ambitious,
business minded down to earth.
Gentlemen.
I want to see yours.
I see lots,
lots of women putting up there.
So I want to see your top qualities that you want in a woman outside of what
she looks like.
Hunter, said physical appearance Hunter.
I said, no,
that's not what I want you to put.
Definitely want kids.
Okay.
So someone who wants children, that's good.
Rob said he likes a confident woman.
That's important to him.
He's looking for a confident woman who knows herself.
Friends.
We have a,
we have a single spotlight and a love seat next week because I'm getting
ready for, you know, that matchmaking app.
Obviously there's a lot more women that show up to these lives than men.
We do have a challenge group of men that has almost 900 men in it.
But once again, men don't typically like online stuff.
We have a smaller group of men in mentorship and in coaching.
The bottom line is,
is that when I bring men to you for a single spotlight,
for those of you ladies, they're like spotlight me spotlight me.
It doesn't make sense to spotlight you guys on the zoom because not enough men
attend the zoom.
And so I could spotlight you in the men's groups,
but I couldn't spotlight you on the zoom because that doesn't make sense.
So for those live sessions, ladies,
I commit to you that I will bring you at least two amazing men every
session.
Okay.
From different age brackets, different backgrounds,
different geographic areas.
All right.
Maybe even more than two.
All right.
And we've had lots of ladies write in about Nitin and Chris and the
women that, you know,
were within the criteria of those introductions.
Not, I don't think all the introductions have been made yet.
But thank you so much for writing in and, you know,
continue to do that because this is how we make matches.
You guys, we had another couple get engaged from this community yesterday.
Now that doesn't include all the people that get engaged as a result of the
matchmaking and coaching that we do.
These are people that actually meet here and get married from being in here
together. So it does happen. We have a lot of them. All right.
So take a look at what each other is saying. You guys, so many things,
thoughtful, active, kind, intelligent.
A lot of you are sapiosexuals. You should put that on your resume.
What does that mean? That means you have to be attracted intellectually,
not just physically.
The person can't bore you.
You have to have good conversation with them.
Exciting conversation, conversation that makes you want to talk more.
And some of you are like, eh, if they're a good kisser,
I don't really need that much convo. I'm okay.
I don't really like to talk that much anyway.
Let's see all the sapiosexuals in the house. Raise your hands.
You got to have that intellectual stimulus. You got to have it.
You have to have it. It's so important to you.
All right. Put your hands down.
Put your hands up.
If you'd say the most important quality that you have to have is that you have
to have spiritual compatibility. You have to feel connected spiritually.
You have to want to worship with them.
You have to want to hear what they have to say about spiritual matters and
scriptures and different things like that. That's the most important quality.
Okay. Put your hands down.
Put your hand up.
If you would say that the most important quality you is emotional connection,
you have to feel emotionally connected to them, safe with them.
You have to feel like you're connected to them.
You have to feel emotionally connected to them, safe with them.
You have to feel like you're seen known and loved by them.
That's the most important thing to you. Lots of people in that category.
All right. Put your hands down.
And no judgment, please be honest, but put your hand up.
If you think that the most important quality for you is that you would have a
physical connection that you would feel physically attracted to them and
you would want to be physically with them.
Doesn't mean that they're not all important friends at some level,
but they're all not priority important.
And that's why I'm asking you what your priority is.
I'm asking you to tell me which of those things are your most important
priority in connection.
action. Some of you are rating them now. All right. Nope. You guys, I was going to tell
you, I love you all, but I'm just going to tell you, you're not going to have all of
them. You're not, you're not going to have all of them. You're not, there's going to
be some that you just don't really click in that area and you're going to have to work
on it. It doesn't mean that it won't come together. It just means at the beginning,
it might not be there, right? It might not really be there that important that, that
much at the beginning. Like for instance, you might have a great emotional and spiritual
connection, but the conversation just isn't there. It has potential to be there, but
they like a lot of stuff that you don't like. And so when you talk, you know, you're talking
about stuff that, you know, might be a little bit boring to you. My husband and I have that
when we talk about something that we're both passionate about, we have great conversational
chemistry, but he's into a lot of stuff that I don't care about and vice versa. So I'm
just telling you ahead of time that while all of those things are definitely important
that we just mentioned, you may not have all of those in your match at first or ever.
So that's why it's important that you decide what's the most important thing to you, right?
I will say one thing about physical attraction. If your soul and your spirit are on board,
if your soul is attracted, you're emotionally attracted, um, and your, and your spirit is
on board, your spirit, you have spiritual synergy, your body will, your body will come
into, it'll come into alignment. It will. All right. When you trust someone, you feel
safe with someone, your body's going to come into alignment. Now, does that mean that you're
going to have like level 10 chemistry from the very beginning? Does it mean that from
the very first moment that you touch each other, it's going to be like electricity?
No, it does not mean that. Okay. Even when you go to consummate the marriage on the wedding
night and beyond, you know, as I said on the wedding night, right? Let's, let's save it
for then. Okay guys, come on. You don't got to kick the tires and take it on a test ride.
People actually say that to other people. Well, you know, I got to test drive the car.
Okay. Go down to Toyota then friend, because there is no test drives here. Okay. Come on,
come on. And some of you need to put that on your dating resume. You're not a Toyota.
You're a Rolls Royce. You guys, they don't let you test drive Rolls Royces. They do a
credit check on you and they see how much money you have in your bank account before
you're allowed to drive those cars because they want to make sure that you're actually
serious about buying it. You're not allowed to just put your dirty little butt in the
seat of the car and drive it around. That's important. It's important, right? So let's
make sure that we're not letting someone, you know, do all that stuff to see whether
or not they're that interested. Guys, I had, I'm telling you, Holy Spirit's bringing this
up to my mind. So I'm going to go ahead and say it. I had a woman and man at the very
beginning back in 2020 in this community, and they met here and they started talking
and they started dating and they got together in person and they were not physically attracted
to each other. And so they suggested to one another that perhaps they should sleep together
to see if the sexual attraction could grow. How dumb does that sound? Does that sound
dumb or is it just me? That sounds kind of dumb. All right. So if someone ever says that
to you, thank you next. Really? Seriously. So back to chemistry, the wedding night and
beyond, you're going to find your flow together. Every couple has to find their physical intimate
flow. Everybody, no matter what age you are, whether you're virgin and you've never had
any kind of physical intimacy. And my daughter's about to get married. She's 23, her and her,
her fiance, he's 27. They have, you know, I'm proud of them. They have managed to save
that for marriage. Both of them, neither one of them have been physically intimate with
anybody. And so guess what? Their wedding night's going to be interesting. They're going
to have a learning curve. They're going to find their passion for each other for sure.
But logistically, they're going to have to find out what works. We're all adults here.
And so you guys have to understand that that may not be at level 10, 10 right out the gate,
but it can grow and you can.
find your flow. Okay. Right. Very important. And so in conversational chemistry, I don't like
polar opposites. I do not match polar opposites as a matchmaker. What is a polar opposite?
It just means that your likes and dislikes your energy, your personalities, everything's
polar opposite. It's exact opposite. I like complimentary opposites. I like things that
go together. They're not alike, but they compliment each other. I try not to match
people that are too alike. And I try not to match people that are way too different because when
you're way too different, there has a tendency for there not to be a lot of understanding where
the other person's coming from or what the other person wants and needs. So it's really important
that we're not oil and water. Remember that doesn't mix polar opposites. I always like to say,
opposites attract, but they don't cohabitate. A lot of times you might be attracted to someone
who's very, very different from you, but you have to play out. What does that look like in
everyday life? Does it make sense in everyday life? Or is it just something exciting because
it's different than anything that you've ever experienced before, but in everyday life,
it doesn't really play out well. Okay. Non-negotiables, go for it. From heaven,
you guys, I love you, but if you post non-negotiable that is not from heaven,
I'm going to correct that and let you know that that one's not from heaven.
So for those of you that have not heard that teaching, non-negotiables from heaven would be
like, I can't relocate because I have a shared parenting agreement and my kids are only six and
eight. And so for the next 12, 13 years, I can't relocate. So my non-negotiables,
the person would either have to be local or they would have to want to relocate to me.
That's a heaven non-negotiable. All right. So some of you are already throwing those up.
Make sure you write them on your paper. Okay. Don't just write them here. Write them on your
paper. And these are not just things that are non-negotiable that you don't want. They
could also be non-negotiable that you do want and you have to have, and it's a deal breaker
if it's not there. Jackie, I have a quick question.
Sure. So, you know, all of the, those of us that are, you know,
OGs and have gone through the different heart work and all of the different,
like sheets we had to fill out, where are those now? Can we get to those,
the ones that are empty to fill out, like, you know, heart healing, like,
revealing to healing, those kinds of sheets. Okay. So those are like heart work, heart work
sheets. Yeah. And like the non, the, to heaven non-negotiables.
Bethany, why don't we, Bethany's here tonight, y'all. She's be, you know, here helping moderate.
Bethany, why don't we put those under the resource tab in phase three and phase two,
and then men's group so that they can download those. So put them in like a down,
a resources downloads tab. Okay. Thank you. All right. Thank you, Stacey. So that's where
they'll be. You guys don't look for them tomorrow. It might take a couple of days,
give us till next week. And we'll have those up for y'all. Those of you, well, no one here would
be in, in heart work still because they're in phase one and they're not in the past session.
All right. Non-negotiables start posting them if you dare, because
I'm going to, I'm going to turn into Gandalf. You shall not pass. Okay. If it is not the right thing.
And if you don't understand the Lord of the rings reference, then that's a deal breaker for me.
Just kidding. That would not be an example of a real deal breaker. Okay. Okay. Smoking and
addiction. Some of you are like no smoking at all ever cigars, ladies, cigars too. No smoking,
nothing. I mean, cigarettes are stinking and gross and they're terrible and they'll kill you.
So I know every once in a while, there are some men that like every once in a while cigar,
kind of a man thing. So no smoking addictions, obvious you guys, some of these are obvious.
Of course, we don't want any, we won't want, we don't want to be with someone who has an
active addiction, but are you open to someone who has a recovered addiction?
That's a question you need to ask yourself. Not open to travel moving for purpose of mission.
And so you are a missionary, Kristen, that is called to a specific region.
And you're saying, God has called me here and I am not open to moving.
Or you're saying, I don't want to marry a missionary that wants me to move.
Kristen, help us with that.
Which is it?
Kristen Ashley.
Okay.
Some clarity on that would be good.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
I was just, yeah.
Um, for me, I know God's called me to mission.
So having someone who's open, uh, to moving for the purpose of missions is
what I was trying to say.
Okay.
So Kristen, let me, let me tweak that for you.
Cause I have a lot of missionaries, obviously, that come through my programs
and I've helped missionaries get married.
So you guys, for the purposes of this video, I'm going to ask you to
get married.
So you guys, for those of you that have had a calling at some point in your
life to missions, okay.
To a mission, you know, traditional missions, meaning that you would relocate
somewhere to do the work of the kingdom, whether it's another country, another
state.
Okay.
Um, I want you to surrender that pen to God.
I know that, you know, at your, in your heart, you are a missionary.
We're all missionaries, just so you know, we're all called to the mission of
bringing the kingdom wherever we go.
But for those of you that in the past have been, you know, had a certain burden
for a certain country, but maybe you're not there anymore and you're continuing
to hold out because God called you there before, and maybe you're going to go
back.
You don't need someone and you don't need to ask someone like, Hey, are you
willing to move for missions?
Are you willing to be a missionary?
I'm a missionary.
Are you a missionary?
Cause I need to marry a missionary.
No, instead you need to find someone who is willing to do whatever God calls them
to do.
They are willing to move.
They are willing to relocate.
They're willing to quit their job and get a different job.
They're willing to go back to school.
They are someone who is sold out for the cause of Christ.
They are Christ follower, and they are willing and open and able because they
don't have a shared pairing agreement, which keeps them landlocked.
They are able to do whatever it is that God calls them to do.
That should be the real question.
Hey, you know, would you, would you do anything that God called you to do?
Would you be open to anything that God asked you to do?
Those are the real questions.
Not do you want to be a missionary?
Okay.
Relocation because my youngest is 12.
Okay.
So, so Angie can't relocate.
That is permissible.
I believe God said my heart needs to say yes.
Um, okay.
Thomas, you want to give some clarity to that?
Cause not really sure what that means.
Passion for God.
Paul, how would you measure passion for God?
Everyone's passion kind of looks different.
Thomas, what do you got?
Um, yeah, well, I didn't, um, I didn't follow my heart for a long, long time.
And when I've dated people, I've frequently thought, oh, well, I should
do this or I should do that or something along those lines.
And I feel like, um, even in the list of things that God's given me to kind of
look for, God has said, this is to guide you, what you really need to pay
attention to is your heart saying yes.
Okay, cool.
Right.
That's fair.
And I will give you a yellow flag on that.
I won't call it a red flag because we need to make sure that you
don't have a void in attachment.
Because in that case, your heart would not be saying yes.
Your heart would always be saying danger.
And so, um, but yes, in a perfect scenario with a healed, healthy and
whole heart, yes, we want our heart to say yes, of course.
And then passion for God.
Also, that's kind of hard to measure Paul.
So what do you, what do you mean by that specifically?
I can hear me.
Yep.
Uh, just willing to do something.
Uh, if it means a move somewhere else, or maybe I'm going to feel felt called
emissions, but if that was to come up, just being willing to go where God calls
us or do where minister where God calls us, just being willing to go where God
or do where minister where God calls us.
Yeah.
Yes.
Saying yes to God, you guys, just so you know, that's the
only reason you're on earth.
That's all you're here for.
You know, you're here to just, to, to be a minister of reconciliation, and
that's going to look different through all of our lives and through all of
our gifts and talents and the different ways that all of us are going to walk
that out, but if we're prioritizing anything beyond that in our lives,
then we love the world.
We're living for this life.
We're living for temporary pleasure and temporary things that are not eternal.
Each and every one of us should be living for eternity, and that's
going to look different on all of our lives because we all have different
callings, but we definitely should want someone who doesn't want to
just pay bills and die someday.
They want to do something that echoes through eternity.
Right.
And one of the things that you can do that echoes through eternity is raise a family.
and raise a family. Well, because if you raise your family, well,
then they're probably going to grow up and raise their family. Well,
and then we're going to have lineage and legacy. Right.
And that's really important. Okay.
Supportive of me doing ministry and serving in ministry as a woman. Okay.
So she's saying a non-negotiable as someone who doesn't think women should
speak in the church or doesn't think women should do ministry. That's fair.
Porn anger outbursts. Well, hello. Of course,
that's a non-negotiable any kind of abuse you guys is obviously a non-negotiable
smoking. I have asthma. Okay. Smoking just in general. I mean,
obviously we don't want to be with people who have unhealthy habits that are
killing them. Not harsh, gentle,
flexible.
So a non-negotiable for her as being with someone who is aggressive and not
gentle and not flexible smoking. A lot of you putting smoking up. Okay.
Loves. God wants to serve others, drugs, alcohol, smoking,
drinking substance-free non-smoking. So here's,
here's one you guys can't live with cats,
awful allergies. So Elaine is allergic to cats.
She can't be with someone who has a cat.
Some of you have preferences where you don't like animals,
but you're not allergic to animals. You don't like them,
but you're not allergic to them.
Just recently I had a conversation with a client. They said, Oh,
I'm allergic to fill in the blank. And I said, Oh,
what happens to you when you're around fill in the blank? And they said,
well, I just, you know, I get disgusted by them. That's not an allergy
just because you don't like something doesn't make it an allergy. Okay.
Those are preferences.
And I really want to encourage you to lay those preferences down because you
might've had a bad experience with someone's animal or someone who didn't keep
a clean house because they had an animal, but that's not everybody.
So if you're allergic and you can't be around an animal, okay, fine.
But if you just don't want to be around an animal, let's let that go.
Has to be emotionally mature. Once again, those are things that,
how do we measure that? What does that mean? Dogs, cats,
smoking is due to allergies. Okay. Abusive. Okay. Of course, no abuse.
Okay. Robin said a non-negotiable for her is they have to be health conscious.
They have to care about their health. They have to care.
They can't just be sitting around eating Twinkies sitting in the chair.
You know, and for a lot of you, I think that should be a non-negotiable.
You don't want to be look,
there's some things that we can't predict and there's a lot of healthy people
that get sick.
There's a lot of people that treated their bodies right and didn't do bad things
to their bodies and you know, disease and disease still finds them.
But I feel like a non-negotiable for all of us should be that we want to be,
and we want to be with people who are respecting the temple that God gave us.
And then we're taking the best care that we know how of it.
When you know to do better, you do better.
Some people don't know to do better yet, but when they know to do better,
they do better. No gambling, lying, cheating. Of course not.
Must want children and want to foster and adopt. Okay. That's a big one.
Look at that. Not only must they want children,
she feels like she has a calling to foster and adopt children.
So that's something that definitely would need to be discussed.
Okay. I'm just going to skip all the ones that talk about drugs and alcohol and
abuse. Cause that's, that's just a no brainer relationship with Christ,
open and fostering and adopting. Okay. Some of you ladies,
you feel like you're too old to have a child,
which I want you to keep an open mind about that because God promised us
miracles in conception in this group. Um, so, uh,
but at the same time, you want to be a mother.
So you want someone who is willing not only to foster and adopt,
but some of you are older. Okay. You're like in your late forties, fifties,
maybe even older than that. So you don't,
it's not just you want them to be able to foster adopt.
You're asking for someone at your age,
a man that's your age to be willing to raise a child,
right. At these older ages.
So that's also important for you to make part of this dating resume
must want kids. All right. Goodbye. See you later.
I'm generous, generous.
That also is something that's difficult to assess. What does that mean to you?
I want you for those of you that I said, Hey, what does that mean?
Really think about what that means so that you can clarify what that means.
Cause those are very vague kind of statements. Okay. No alcohol, no drugs,
no sex.
Your cat's name is Gandalf. Very funny. All right.
Someone you want someone who's financially responsible. Look at these,
someone who has done well with their money,
not someone who's in tons of debt. Now you guys,
that could be a non-negotiable, but if that person made mistakes in the past,
but they've learned from those mistakes and now they're,
they have a plan and they're working that plan to get out of debt.
I think that should, I think that.
should be a green flag. Okay. And let's talk about the perfect date.
What do you want to do on a date? And this is really important because,
you know, a lot of times no one, no one knows what to do.
What do you want to do? And here, let me give you a hint.
You should choose things that,
that either form connection very quickly because you're doing something together.
You're solving a problem together, like go to an escape room, you know,
something that's you're competing against each other,
like putt-putt golf or top golf, you know, top golf is a really fun game.
I honestly prefer top golf to putt-putt golf. I don't like putt-putt golf. Okay.
Top golf is fun. You know, something ax throwing, Lauren said,
I was really bad at that.
So I would choose things that make me look good. Gentlemen,
ladies you know, if you're a great singer, maybe you want to go to karaoke,
you know, something besides just sitting in drinking coffee,
but let's put up some options for dates.
So that way you can suggest some things to people. If you're really active.
I don't think it's a good idea to go out in the woods with someone that you've
never, you'd have never met. You met online. Okay.
Don't go out hiking in the woods by yourself with a stranger from the internet.
Does that sound smart? That doesn't sound like a good idea. All right.
Don't do that. Don't do that.
Pickleball, ice skating, inline skating, lots of things.
Someone said skydiving for a date. Okay.
You guys are the sky diving tonight, walking on a public trail. Yes.
Stacy with lots of people out in the open
with your own car
and no bears
bowling only if you're good at it. Right.
Or I guess it could be super fun and funny bookstore
music store. Okay.
Yard games at a park.
Does having anyone have anything super unique that no one else has said like
something that you did on a date or you've always wanted to do on a date.
Cause you thought it sounded really great. Farmer's market. That's fun.
Blind taste testing.
Also you guys alcohol with first, second dates, third dates.
I don't love the idea. Like don't go like on a wine tasting.
I wouldn't do that. A pub crawl. I wouldn't do that.
I mean, you guys aren't putting that up. I'm just saying an art crawl,
paint your own canvas. You have those painting classes. That could be fun.
Although if you're a really good painter, then you can really show off.
But if you're a terrible painter,
I've seen people show the paintings they did of each other. And you're like,
Whoa, that's really bad. Cooking class together.
I think that would be really fun. Maybe for like a third,
fourth or fifth year of college.
Cooking class together. I think that would be really fun.
Maybe for like a third, fourth date. That could be fun.
Some of you are like no alcohol ever. A lot of Christians do drink alcohol.
Just so you guys know that doesn't make them less of a Christian.
If you think that then you're wrong.
But we do want to make sure that we are not drunken and we are not doing
crazy things because our inhibitions are lowered from drinking too much.
Right. Make sure that that's not the case for you or for your date.
I know a lot of people are like, Hey,
we should meet up for drinks for our first date. I wouldn't do that.
I wouldn't when people, when people drink alcohol,
even if they're not drunk, it loosens the lips. It loosens the tongue.
Sometimes you say things, you share things.
You just go a little overboard. All right. Play board games.
Columbus zoo. Okay. Live in Columbus. Great. Salsa.
Meringue. Praise.
Oh,
another thing that I wouldn't suggest doing on early days is taking them to
your church,
taking them to a worship night where you're worshiping together. You guys,
that's very intimate.
And I think that it can cause a lot of, you know,
missed missed expectations. If you feel,
if you're feeling the intimacy of the spirit with each other,
you could think that you're feeling something for each other.
I just don't think it's a great idea.
Right. Encouraging words on rocks and hide them everywhere.
And also rock hunting. Okay. So you're saying like,
do some sort of like ministry thing together,
like where you like encourage people and go do something because that could be a
fun date. A fun date could do something, do something like, um, you know,
some type of like going to feed the homeless or something like doing some sort
of service together. That could be interesting. Right.
Maybe not a first date, but a date.
Okay. All right, you guys. So here's your dating resume.
I really want to encourage you to print this out.
We'll put it up in your groups so that you can print out the PDF.
I would fill it in. And once again, you know, keep working on it with Holy spirit,
especially the part about the qualities about yourself.
What are you bringing to the table? What are you bringing to the table
that someone else should really value about you and that your perfect partner,
your ideal partner, your spirit mate would really,
would really be valuing about you. Like, think about it.
Like I'm writing these things down. And if my spirit mate was doing the same
activity over what they're looking for,
they would be writing the things that I'm writing down about who I am.
Do you guys see what I mean?
And the great thing is, is that when you get to know someone a little bit better,
you can say, you can, you can use some of these prompts with them,
kind of find out where it is that they are.
And I just want to tell you guys something for those of you that are very marriage
minded and you're very marriage minded right now,
there's nothing wrong with when you are getting to know someone,
even in the first few dates of getting to know someone,
asking them like, you know, where they see themselves,
you know, in the next few years, there's nothing wrong with that.
Where do they see themselves in the next few years? It's okay to say to them,
Hey, are you looking for something serious? You know,
I'm not saying with me, but like, you know,
why are you on the apps or why are you out here dating as you know,
is that your end goal? Are you looking for something serious?
Are you looking for marriage? You know,
because that's why I'm out in these streets. You know, you,
it's okay to share that because if that spooks them,
when you're not trying to make it about you and them,
you're just having a conversation and you're sharing some of the things from
your dating resume with them. And that spooks them. Then guess what?
They're not ready for a relationship. If they get spooked by that conversation
right now, if you're doodling their name on your napkin,
while you're talking to them and you're seeing how their last name fits with your
first name, then that's a problem. Okay. But if you're just asking them an
honest question about, you know, what is your,
what's your end goal with dating? You know,
are you looking for a serious relationship that leads to marriage?
Yes. Kim out in these streets. So wild, wild West out here.
All right. Solve a sunrise and look for shark teeth afterwards.
That sounds like a fun date. Anything that has sunset sunrise y'all.
That sounds fun guys. Here's a few pro tips.
If you're going to do something with a woman, you know, like in the daytime,
like in the, in the morning and you're like, Hey, um, you know,
let's meet up here and go for a walk, you know, watch the sunrise.
Especially since you found out that she's an early riser and she's local to you.
Let's meet up at the park and, you know, walk around the Lake.
You know, there'll be a lot of people there.
A lot of people walk in the morning like that.
And then bring her her favorite drink,
ask her what her favorite drink is and bring it to her.
Women love that all women have a favorite drink.
It might not be coffee. It might be matcha.
It might be tea. It might be something besides coffee.
But yes. So guys, there's a little fun tip for you.
Bring her something, find out stuff about her and then bring her something.
Even if she doesn't end up being your spirit mate, that is a date.
She will never forget.
When do you ask about their goal for dating? I, I think it's fine.
Angela, as long as you do a really low key, you can do it anytime.
Right. You're on a date with them. You got that far.
So it's cool to just be like, you know, here we are, you know,
out here dating at this age or in 2024, you know, dating definitely has changed.
You know, you can make talk about it and then just say,
you know, where do you see yourself in the next few years?
Like, what is your, what's your end goal for dating?
Are you looking for a serious relationship?
Is that the, is that the era that you're in right now?
Are you, and you can even say, you know, I'm not saying with me,
I'm just saying in general, is that what your, is that what your objective is?
And once again, if you communicate that very almost cerebrally and not emotionally,
most people have no problem answering it.
Cool. And if they say, no, I'm not really looking for anything serious.
You know, I'm just looking to meet a bunch of people and make connections.
Then you don't have to go out with them anymore
because they're telling you right now that they're not looking for anything serious.
Right. The thing is, is that if they continue to ask you out
and they continue to make a connection with you,
then maybe they don't know that they're looking for something serious.
Maybe they just didn't know that they were looking for something serious.
were until they met you. But that's another thing. You're going to have to discern that
and feel that out as you go forward. All right. Okay. You guys, thank you for joining us tonight.
We're right at the 90 minute mark. That's where we like to stop. This is going to be
available in replay. Um, we do have supernatural Saturday. This Saturday is going to be great.
As always, we do have Sunday night activation. Um, next week we're going to have that single
spotlight in front of our love seats. So if you have any dating questions, we have several
people that want to jump in the love seat this time around. So if you're one of them,
please email us or post in your group and the admins there will grab your name and your,
you know, what you want to jump in the love seat about so that we can do that. And then
we will also, um, be doing ask Jackie on Friday for the men and the women. I will be doing
that tomorrow, showing up in your groups and answering all of your questions. So if you
had any ask Jackie questions that you didn't get in, go ahead and get in and just get excited
We want to have some testimonies about what kind of gifts and surprises are showing up
during this prophetic word of Christmas in July. We also want you guys to, um, be sharing
your wins, make sure that you're filling out those polls every Monday that say, you know,
that roll call poll, what is your win? We want to know, and we want to celebrate with
each other because God is making matches since 2020, you guys, we are upwards towards a thousand
engagements in marriages. We had over seven 50, and then we just had a hundred in the
last six months. And so that's eight 50 or more. And so we're headed towards there. And
if God can do it for all those folks, and those are people that have engaged in Mary.
Those are not people that are just dating and courting right now towards marriage. So
that's crazy town. That's supernatural. And that's just going to continue to increase.
All right. So work on this with Holy spirit, get honest with yourself, let go of things.
You need to let go of, hold on to things you need to hold on to. And let's get out there
and meet some new people at summertime. Love you guys. See ya.