Hello, how are you?
Welcome.
We are here for another session of heart work
and it's gonna be an awesome night.
So buckle your seat belts.
We got some good ground to cover.
God's gonna do some awesome stuff
in all of your hearts and minds and spirits.
We're believing for breakthrough
and I'm so glad that you all are here joining.
I'm sure more will join us
as it gets a little bit past the hour.
As we start tonight, just a couple of housekeeping things.
As always, welcome to our new ladies.
Who is joining us for the first time tonight?
That light maybe looks a little dark.
There we go.
Who do you wanna, let's see here.
Tammy, well, you were here today, right, Tammy?
Is this true?
Yeah, I just haven't been on a night.
Yeah, okay.
Michelle, everybody welcome.
Cheryl, welcome.
Cheryl's in Indonesia, y'all.
I was chatting with Cheryl just a little bit ago.
She's already in tomorrow and she said, it's good.
She said, it's good.
So we have something to look forward to, y'all.
Have you ever heard people talk about that
when they travel and they talk to their kids
and they're on a different day?
There's a pastor that said that once.
I just got a kick out of that.
He was in tomorrow.
So he was telling his little son about it
and saying, it's gonna be a great day for you, son.
So wanna bless you all with that.
I enjoyed talking with her briefly about that
before we started tonight.
Sasha, thank you for telling us.
Welcome.
Hi, Sasha.
Anyone else joining us for the first time tonight?
Make sure you put in the chat
so we can welcome you as well.
I love to call people by name.
I think that's important to do so.
And also just as a reminder,
myself and the coaches will also remind you all of this.
And I think most of you know,
but just for our newcomers, it's important that you know.
One of the things that we highly recommend
is that if you're in this program of heart healing,
Raylynn, welcome, that you would press pause on dating.
For some people, that feels very hard.
For other people, they're like,
shoot, I wanted that break anyways.
But wherever you find yourself,
we recommend that because it really works
and it matters during this time.
We want you to have like very minimal distraction
as possible.
And what I wanna, the reason I'm mentioning it today,
I was talking briefly this afternoon,
the word the Lord gave me specifically about this
is that some of you are having disruption happening.
Okay, so not just disruption
with like a guy popping up from the past,
but what's happening is your mind
is getting really caught on thinking about then.
When is this gonna happen?
How's this gonna happen?
And we want you to start to discern
and separate between allowing hope to rise
and awakening to the dreams that God has for you
and your spirit mate and your future marriage
versus the enemy trying to get you caught up
in thinking and fantasizing and worrying
and stressing, if you will.
And so just wanna encourage you all to press pause,
even in that regard about trying to figure it out too much
or trying to think about men too much.
There will be plenty of time for that, I promise you.
And we will coach you through that as well.
Michelle, welcome to your first time also.
And then I wanna encourage you all not to quit.
You're gonna have days where you just feel like it.
You just are gonna feel like,
I don't know if I can do this.
This is hard, but I want you to know
that this is what comes to mind.
My young adult pastor used to say, war is profitable.
And so I wanna encourage you all
that heart healing is profitable.
It's gonna be worth it.
Don't give up on yourself.
When the days get hard, come in and tell us in the chat,
hey, I'm having a hard day today
and let the sisters in this group
and myself and the other coaches pray for you,
come around you and cheer you on
and help kind of get you through that hump.
So avoid isolation.
The enemy will try his hardest to get you to isolate.
So I encourage you to lean away from that
and come into community.
If y'all can't hear, I don't know if you guys can hear that.
So we have a big storm here.
That happens all the time in Florida.
I didn't know that until I moved here.
So I'm hoping I don't lose any connection tonight.
But if for some reason I get bumped off, I'll be back.
Okay, so don't worry.
No matter what happens, if we all get bumped off,
again, I hope that doesn't happen.
But if that ever were to happen, just come right back on
and then we'll proceed from there, okay?
All right, I'm gonna go ahead and pray.
Father, thank you so much for who you are
that even in the reminder of the thunderstorm above me,
Lord, that you're above all things,
you are in all things, that you created all things.
Nothing is too hard for you.
Anything was ever created, the spirit was wisdom was there help us tonight to step into wisdom,
to have discernment, to have revelation from heaven, to experience an awakening in our minds
that we would come out of. Yes, Lord, I'm just even in the spirit, just seeing like
a monument crumbling. So even places of monuments, like places where we've set up
thought patterns, systems, behaviors, mindsets, attitudes. Lord, I thank you that we're just
going to begin or continue even to surrender to your will, your way to come out of alignment with
those things that have led us to a place that we are stuck. Lord, I thank you for movement. I thank
you that the crumbling, the breaking away of chains is happening. So Lord, we just ask for
supernatural acceleration on the healing processes and the hearts and the minds,
bodies, spirits, and souls of everyone that's a part of this community in this group.
We thank you even tonight, Holy Spirit for coming and weaving in and out of our conversations,
guiding and directing even examples that I give. Let it be what they need to hear. Lord, do your
work. You're amazing, great physician. So we just thank you in advance for the healing,
divine healing and release that's about to happen in Jesus' name. Amen.
So tonight we're talking about stories, you all. That's where we're starting tonight.
And when I say we're talking about stories, what I want you to think about is
what is a common story that you tell yourself?
So what's a common story that you grew up hearing is something else that the Lord kind of spoke to
me about after I logged out of the session this afternoon. We didn't go into that very much,
but some of you all have been told stories for so long that you actually don't know that it's not
true. So what I mean by that is some of you have been told stories about men, about life, about
about life, about what's not possible for so long that it is just a habit to think that way.
We were talking as a team as well today that one of the things we are really
big on in this community is like, we're okay with people having a bad day and here and there
feeling like, okay, it's hard. They're having a bad day. They're struggling with negativity.
But when we see someone that remains in a consistent behavior of negativity,
and even when the coaches are trying to help and redirect, and they're just resisting,
resisting, and they're choosing to park in negativity. Unfortunately, we will have to
start to step in and do something because if one person is that way, y'all have you ever seen
apples in a bunch and one apple goes bad, guess what? It affects the whole bunch, doesn't it?
So I want to encourage you all. I don't want you to ever be afraid. We're always going to extend
all the branches. We're always going to try to get you all to a place of like coming out of that
negativity, coming out of the lies, but we're always going to make choices for the community
as a whole. So just know that. And I, again, I don't want that to scare you. I want it to help
you understand that we are here to help you to the best of our ability, but we can only go so far,
right? So it's up to you all to then choose to receive truth and walk in it every day. And it's
a daily thing. Some of y'all are going to battle for a while because again, you've been taught
things your whole life and you don't maybe know how to walk in that because that muscle of
positivity isn't that strong yet. So know that we have compassion for you and we're cheering you on
and we're praying for you. And interestingly enough tonight, I was looking through the book
and in the one chapter, there's a section called the biggest lie. The biggest lie that you might
believe in life is that your life is normal. Many people that live broken lives believe that
it's reasonable to live that way. They have inherited the emotional debt or trauma from
their family. And they think it's normal to be overweight and unhappy, to be unfaithful,
to be in a relationship where someone mistreats you or to be sick all the time. They think it's
okay to have massive amounts of debt and spend all their energy trying to figure out how to pay the
bills or even more severe deception. Like it's normal to abuse and hurt others or yourself.
I knew someone like that. They thought it was normal to be molested by family members because
it's all they had ever known. When they were confronted by an outsider about the abuse,
they said, that happens in everyone's family, doesn't it? No, it doesn't.
was on and I'm bringing this story up because I'm going to give you guys an example of someone
that said something in our group. And actually it's the person that's currently stuck in
a very negative heart posture. And we've tried multiple people are trying to help her come
out of that. And this is someone that has been in this place before. Um, but it's deep,
deep, deep negativity. Okay. And so the reason I'm mentioning it is because sometimes people
are in that place, like I said, because the family has been that way. And so therefore
they've been that way. But one of the things when I was coaching her before, and this has
been several months ago, um, she just said kind of in passing, well, everybody has a
hard life. Well, no, let's talk about yours. Let's talk about, let's look at this. So I
want to say to you, if that is one of the things that you tell yourself, and I don't
want you all to focus on all the negative, but I just want you to be aware of these things
because the enemy will try to get you to dismiss your pain. Because if you dismiss it, guess
what? You all won't heal from it. That's truth. And so we have to look at it with the father
and with his heart healing process and asking Holy spirit to come in and heal and mend.
He's the comforter. He's the counselor. He knows what you need every step of the way.
He knows the stories that don't lead you to truth. He knows the kingdom of heaven, right?
He's three in one with God, the father and Jesus Christ. So they're in communion all
the time. So he knows where God wants to take you. So tonight I encourage you to step out
of the old stories. You've been telling yourselves the old stories. Other people have been telling
you limiting belief systems and thoughts, and step into the new story that God is writing
and has been writing for you. Some of you don't really fully believe that God is writing
a new story for you yet, but you're about to. And I hope that that comes into full view
for you tonight. I encourage you to be aware of the stories. You tell yourself the thoughts
that you have, the reactions that you have to situations. Have you all ever just pause
and thought, why, why did I, why did I just react that way? I do that. Sometimes something
happens and I'm super upset real quick. Like, why did that get to me so much Lord? In the
past, I might not have even paused. I might've just kept going and squash that down. But
now I'm like, okay, wait, that's not love is love is a lot of things. And I know that
that reaction didn't look like love or feel like love. So help me to know what's causing
that what's underneath the surface. That's now causing that volcano, if you will. And
everybody has different kinds of volcanoes. You all, some of us have very big volcano
explosive reactions and some have like the volcanoes that are just bubbling, but it still
feels hot. Doesn't it on the inside when that anger starts kind of brewing. Right. All right.
So I want to give you guys some examples. I gave you one already. Well, to, you know,
the one that I said, this, that happens to everyone's family or, you know, Hey, everybody
has it hard. So I don't need to, I don't need to look at this and it's just normal. What
about maybe your story is it doesn't matter. And what I mean by that is maybe you went
through a situation and your feelings were hurt. Maybe a friend said something to you
and you just told yourself what doesn't matter. It's no big deal, but deep down, it really
did matter to you. And so when we do that, when we again, dismiss these things, we're
actually shutting off our feelings. We're denying a part of ourself. Now, I'm not necessarily
encouraging you all to just run crazy with your feelings and not have the wisdom of God
helping you in your responses to people that might say or do hurtful things. But I don't
believe the father wants you to tell yourself anymore that it doesn't matter. Maybe some
of you are saying to yourselves, I didn't even want that anyways, whether it was a spouse,
a house, a job, a new car. I saw someone in our group, y'all got a brand new car. God
worked it out. And it was like, literally, she said, almost like to the T what she asked for.
What? Yes. Her testimony is in the phase one app. I read it a little bit ago.
This stuff is real. This is stuff that's happening. We talked about Christmas in July,
and can it really happen for me? We talked about that this afternoon. I'm going to encourage you
all to just start asking God to show you the ways he wants to surprise you and help you to see the
Little surprises and the big surprises.
And just to see maybe write down, you know, some of your wishlist and just let
yourself, it's not vain to want things.
If we get caught up in that and get out of balance now, that's a different story.
But maybe there's just even something that you you've kind of wanted, but you
just haven't felt like you could have it for whatever reason.
And I'm not saying God's a slot machine either.
So just y'all, I say everything and I want you to take it in balance.
Okay.
We want balance, but I do want to challenge you to not just stay in the heart
posture of God does all that for other people, but he's not going to do that for
me.
So maybe yours isn't a car.
Maybe yours is just flowers.
Maybe you haven't had anybody give you flowers and you just, you would really
love that kind of surprise.
You know, whatever your thing is, I encourage you to stop telling yourself
that you didn't even want it anyway.
All right, let's see here.
I think I'm going to use Kim Kaufman's name right here.
Um, the Lord told me to do this with two people.
I did one this afternoon and Kim, you're the person tonight.
This is the next lie that sometimes we believe, and this might be something
the enemy, I don't know if the enemy is saying it to you, Kim or not, but God
highlighted you to you, to me and said to use you for this, Kim, you should just
give up on this.
Cause it's not going to happen anyway.
This time isn't going to be any different.
That's the enemy.
That's not God.
That's not what God is saying to you.
That's the enemy's voice trying to kill, steal and destroy.
But Jesus Christ came to give us life and give it to us more abundantly.
And that is the life that God has for you, Kim, as well as all of you.
Yeah.
See, Holy Spirit knows you all.
He knows what you need.
He knows what you need to hear the things that are in your heart that are hurting.
And he knows how to get it to you in the moment that you need it.
Keep trusting him.
Maybe your lie that you're believing and the negative thought and story you're
telling yourself is I never get picked.
We talked about all these this afternoon.
Angela, I see you.
It was good stuff.
Maybe your lie is God blesses everyone, but me, that's the story you're, you're
agreeing with and God is saying to you tonight, daughter, I encourage you to
come out of that cave is that's what it is.
It's the cave of isolation.
It's the cave of unbelief.
It's the cave of death and destruction.
And we don't belong there.
Oh, this is not anything I said earlier today, but I'm going to go here.
Lazarus, you all was in the tomb for how many days?
Does anyone know?
Yeah.
It's three or four days, right?
I think it was the same.
I'm going to have to look now because now some people are saying four and I think
it's, I think it's three, but I'm going to double check it.
Let's look it up.
Let's look it up and talk about it.
But he was in the tomb for how many days?
Let's look it up and talk about it.
But here's the thing.
He was in there for multiple days.
And then Jesus shows up.
But don't you know that in the Bible, the story, it said that Jesus kind of
tarried that he didn't go right away.
Doesn't that blow your mind?
Like what, why would he do that?
Why did he do it?
What did he say?
So that his glory could be revealed.
Do we always fully understand the why?
No.
But what we can know is that God in his goodness and his power can raise up any
light, anything that's dead to life.
He can resurrect dreams.
He can resurrect your story.
He can make your story better in your former years than it ever was in the latter.
So it's up to us to start to align.
It says four days.
Okay.
We're back and forth.
We'll look it up again.
What script Jen, tell us which, which part that you're looking at.
But I liken it to the fact that Jesus was in the tomb three days and then he got,
he was risen as you know, as well.
So interesting that Jesus had such a close relationship with Lazarus and Jesus
and Lazarus had something in common.
Didn't they?
They were both were in a tomb and they were both raised from the dead.
Hey, maybe your story you're telling yourself is all men only date or want
date or want skinny women.
Maybe that's your story.
Here's one more.
And then we're going to start to move on.
This program takes too much time.
Y'all I saw that recently.
I know it's commitment.
I know that it takes time, but know that this is the best time
you're ever going to spend.
I mean, I'm partial you all.
I know there's a lot of healing ministries.
out there. I've done other healing ministries, but I just can't help but feel like there's
something kind of wonderful happening here. Something different. They're all beautiful.
Everything I've been through healing wise, I'm so grateful for it. But I feel like God's
doing something wonderful here. So I want to encourage you, if the enemy has you focusing
on how much time you don't have to do this, I want to encourage you to shift into God.
Thank you so much. You're going to help me make room in my life and schedule to do this
work that you're going to extend time as well for me. Do y'all know that he can do that?
He can literally extend time and give us grace. Says that when Jesus arrived, he had already
been in the tomb four days. All right. Thank you for that, John. John 11, 17. So it's never
too late for your story to come back to life. It's never too late for the promises that
you've always longed for to be fulfilled. All of these stories that are mentioned to
you all, there's an underlying theme and it's called disappointment and fear. So somewhere
along the way, you experienced disappointment, you experienced letdown, fear, maybe abuse
through someone else or something people said to you. And you unfortunately chose to
partner with those lies and those stories that are not true. So I want to encourage
you to start asking yourself, even right now, some of you guys have already been thinking
some of you ladies, I got to work on that. So y'all don't think we're co-ed. We are not
co-ed tonight. I get relaxed and I start using the word you guys. I want to encourage you
ladies to ask yourself, even right now, as you've thought of things, where did this language
come from? Where did the story originate for you? The story of the lie that you've been
believing. One of the things I want to mention as I kind of shared that story on the all
men only date skinny women, the reason I put that in there is because this woman that I've
kind of been alluding to tonight, and I want you all to know, I love her deeply. I've coached
her several times. I have deep care for her. And I never share names and I would never
do that. But I'm only sharing it because I hope that it benefits you all as well. And
it helps set some of you free. She went through some things when she was younger. She struggles
with body image issues. And when I've talked with her, she's always felt fat basically
is what she told me. She's always struggled with her weight. And then she's in a profession
where some men said some stuff to her, which wasn't kind. And then basically she just started
telling herself that story. And maybe more than one man, I don't really know. But the
reason I bring it up is because too many of us are telling ourselves those kinds of stories.
Now I also don't want you all to stay there and use that as an excuse to not be the healthiest
version of yourself. Okay, so be the best version of you. What does that mean? That
means ask God if you need to do some things to invest in your health and your well being
physically, mentally, emotionally, everything financially, is there anything that God wants
you to do, like start moving your body, eating healthier, all that stuff. But I don't want
you to believe the lie that all men only date skinny women, or I also use other things because
it's not just about weight. Earlier, one of the things that came to me was all men only
like women with blonde hair. I shared an example, I had this these neighbor girls, they were
friends of mine, they both have blonde hair, I always thought they were so pretty. And
I always compared myself to them. And the one sister in particular got she just seemed
to always get the boys. But what I said to the ladies this afternoon, what's funny is
I also dated guys in high school wasn't like I didn't have a boyfriend. And even if I didn't,
that's kind of irrelevant. But it's interesting to me that I told myself the story that she
gets all the guys. But I was dating people. And that weird. I think that's weird when
I thought about it today. Like, why would I say that and claim that when I was experiencing
dating? Now, I wish I would have waited a lot longer, to be honest, now that I look
at it hindsight had no business dating that young and erect, but what is it that you're
telling yourself? And I want to encourage you to come out of that maybe you're taller
and you feel like, you know, guys, no guys would like you because you're tall, all
Those kind of things.
So you don't get what you would expect.
Let's talk about that.
We get, we will expect things
and a lot of people will say,
oh, if you just claim it, name it, claim it kind of stuff.
And God is not that way.
And here's the tricky thing is that a lot of times
if we expect like positive things,
okay, let's say we expecting something positive
but deep down inside of our hearts,
we're telling ourself another story.
Guess what?
What we're expecting out here is going to be impacted
by what's going on down here.
So you gotta start to make these things align.
So how do we do that?
We get what we inspect, okay?
So where we're going with this is I want you all
to start inspecting your thoughts more.
Where are your thoughts coming from?
As I was saying earlier, where did they originate?
Where did the stories come from?
Who's the hero in the story?
Who's the villain?
All that kind of stuff.
I want you to inspect your thoughts
and I want you to start to align with truth
instead of the lie.
So where are your thoughts and heart postures leading you?
I talked this afternoon
and I'm gonna just say this one briefly
because I have another example to give tonight.
But I gave the example this afternoon of a record player.
And some of y'all have had a record
that's been playing in your mind and your heart
and your spirit for 20 plus years.
And it's time to take the record off that record player.
And I use the example of when a record got scratched,
man, that song didn't finish, did it?
It would go until it hit that scratch
and then it couldn't go past that.
And that's where some of you all have felt over the years.
You're getting so far, but then you just feel stuck
and you just haven't been able to get past that scratch,
if you will.
But God is creating a new record.
He's creating that new story.
The other example I have for you
and then I'm gonna get you guys ready
to go into the breakout sessions.
But this afternoon, my youngest spiritual daughter's here
in Florida visiting and she wanted to sit out in the sun.
And so I was putting this umbrella together.
Y'all, if you had seen me, I was laughing at myself.
It was kind of a ridiculous scene, to be honest.
The umbrella was top heavy,
but it has these things that weigh it down.
You got to fill them with water.
And it'll make sense why I'm telling this story
here in a minute.
But when we moved, I'm thinking in the move
that these things got damaged
because they worked just fine when we lived in Indiana.
But I'm filling these things that are supposed to hold
and stabilize this umbrella in place.
I'm filling them up with water
because that's what you're supposed to do.
Well, as fast as I'm filling it up,
this one, there's four parts.
And there were other ones that had these little tiny leaks.
And I was like, am I imagining that leak?
Is that really like the first one?
It was kind of like,
I think there might be a leak in that, but I can't tell.
But it was like, there's four parts,
but each one, the leaks got bigger.
No joke, you all.
The fourth one, as fast as I was filling it up,
that water was pouring out of it.
And I started thinking about that today.
Here are these things that are supposed to stabilize
this umbrella and hold it in place.
And they're just leaking like crazy.
Isn't that how it is sometimes with our hearts?
Like the Lord's pouring stuff in.
He's pouring stuff in,
but we've got all these leaks everywhere
and stuff is just leaking right out.
But that's why you're here to heal
so that God can mend your heart.
He can help you process.
And he can not only put a bandaid on it to cover it
so it doesn't leak, but actually completely heal it
so it never leaks again.
So I want to encourage you.
That's a word that he gave me.
Whoever believes that,
I encourage you to reach up and receive it
because God is speaking to you tonight.
Second Corinthians 10 five says,
we demolish arguments and every pretension
that sets itself up against the knowledge of God.
And we take captive every thought
and make it obedient to Christ.
When it says we demolish arguments in every pretension,
that pretension word means every high thing.
When I looked into the Greek of this,
the shortest version you all is it's a barrier.
It means a barrier.
So anything, we demolish arguments in every barrier.
So that's, if I'm saying that, I'm acknowledging,
okay, this thing right here is a barrier.
So it's me acknowledging whatever that is for me.
This is a barrier between me and the father
and me believing truth, me being free.
And so I father right now, I do in your name
by the power of Jesus Christ.
I demolished this thing and I choose to take these thoughts
captive that are aligning with this lie and this bad story
that's not true.
And I'm choosing to not believe this anymore.
And I'm going to choose instead to make it obedient to Christ.
Guess what that means y'all not only to Jesus Christ who came to
make you completely free and give you the victory you're
fighting from victory, not for it.
He already won the victory for you and me.
So we're fight we're fighting from it.
So some of it is that but the other half is the taking
scripture and using it.
You all we were never meant to be passive ever in the body of
Christ.
God called us to be ambassadors for Christ to to wield the sword
of the spirit.
It's so many of us and and there's no shame in it.
But so many of us don't.
So it's time Jackie gave the call on Saturday.
I I think I've been given the call for a while.
I mean, she's been given the call for a long time too, but like
she really gave the call if y'all didn't hear Supernatural
Saturday, there's definitely a cry of the father's heart for
the body of Christ to awaken and to really step further into
freedom so that we can help set other people free.
So I want you to pause and think again about that storyline that
you were telling yourself.
Maybe it was this morning.
Maybe it was yesterday.
And I want you to think about what have they been rooted in
where they rooted in overwhelm where they rooted in anxiety
where they rooted in fear.
Maybe you felt like there was some risk to it.
Maybe God is nudging you to try to reconcile a relationship
with a broken relationship with a family member and it feels
risky but underneath the risk guess what that goes right back
to fear and anxiety and panic doesn't it insecurity a lot of
those things y'all love is always going to be a risk, but
it's a risk worth taking I promise you.
Here's the other one.
Is it a place of invitation?
The things the stories that you're believing is it a place
of invitation and promise and hope those are the ones we want
you to think on those are the ones we want you to be talking
to God about more and more and more.
I'm going to put you in your breakout and you're going to
talk about with each other.
What negative thought do you need to take captive today?
Maybe there's more than one you're going to do short brief
and powerful so that everybody in your group has time to share.
I'm going to set you up with three to four people depending
on how our groups to be out and not everybody can always show
up in the group there because some people are working in stuff.
All right, let's do that.
I'm going to give you eight minutes.
All right, there you go.
That's okay, Julie.
You can stay here.
All right, go ahead and click to join.
Just making sure we got people.
Just making sure we got people, two people in every room.
All right.
I need somebody to join this last room.
All right.
I see that Julie cannot join breakout.
How about Emily and Meg and Faustina, Ruth?
All right, cool.
Meg's in there.
Awesome.
Okay.
I have two people almost in every group.
That's great.
Father, thank you so much for this incredible group of women
of your daughters, of your beloved ones, Lord.
I thank you that you would help them tonight to hear what your
spirit is saying over them.
I thank you that you would help them to not despise the day
of small beginnings.
And even as I pray that what I mean is the time of looking
at their thoughts and asking you to help them discern between
truth and lies to have revealings for healing to understand
Lord where the story they've been told from long ago has led
them down the path.
That's not your best for them.
So Lord, we thank you that you would help them to come out
of alignment with every false story that the enemy has has
told them from the beginning and even throughout the years
where the things that that that they experienced and that
they went through caused them to align with a lie that they
believed in the past and it just kept becoming stronger and
stronger and stronger.
So Lord, we thank you.
Yes, Lord, we thank you tonight for tearing down strongholds
and breaking barriers in minds, hearts, spirits, bodies, and
souls.
We thank you that even just the patience that you have father
to to for some of them, you're taking it down.
on brick by brick by brick because they just really struggle
to trust you and I thank you God that you're meeting them
right where they're at.
And you remind them tonight that you are a good father,
that you bring them good things,
that you stand up at the door of their hearts and knock
and you don't force your way in.
And I'm so grateful that you're a gentleman
and I pray that you would help them to hear that
and experience that more every day,
that they would find their home in you
and their safety in you.
The word declares that you hide us in the cleft of your rock
and it also declares that you shield us
under the presence of the almighty
and under the shadow of your wings.
So Lord, I thank you that when we have any kind of fear
or doubt or unbelief that you would bring life and truth
and healing and redemption.
I'm gonna read the scripture over you all as well.
It's from Jeremiah 29.
A lot of people just read verse 11,
but I'm gonna also read verse 12 through four,
well, verse 11 through 14 all the way.
So it says this,
for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you a hope and a future.
Then you will call on me and come and pray to me
and I will listen to you.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me
with all of your heart.
I will be found by you declares the Lord
and will bring you back from captivity.
Praise the Lord, he brings us back from captivity,
the places where we've been slaves to sin,
slaves to negative thinking and stinking thinking.
And I thank you Lord that, yes, Lord,
even the things like this that sometimes can cause
a stinky aroma in our lives, if you will,
God, that you create a fragrance that's beautiful.
And I thank you that you bring the oil of joy for mourning
that you would, anyone that,
I'm even hearing the word say like some people in our group
are really grieving losses of relationship,
losses of other things.
Did you get kicked out?
I don't know how to say your name, a hundred percent.
Oh, Aliyah.
Aliyah, hi.
Did you get kicked out of your room?
Oh, I think her connection is slow.
Aliyah.
Yes, sorry, the connection is so bad.
Is it like, is it me?
It's okay, I think you got kicked out of your room.
Do you know what room you were in?
I don't remember.
That's okay, you can hang here with us if you want,
or I can put you back in another room.
Do you want me to put you in a room?
How many minutes do we have?
Three.
I'll just hang out.
Okay.
So Lord, I thank you that you are working
in all of our lives.
I think there was something I was gonna say there,
but I don't even remember now,
but Lord, I know that you'll bring it back
if it's important.
So Lord, I just thank you that right now,
that as Proverbs 23, 23 says,
that you would help us to embrace the truth
and hold it close.
Don't let go of wisdom and instruction
and life-giving understanding.
So Lord, I thank you that you'll help us
to receive all of these things from you,
that you'll help us to, yes, Lord,
to spend time in the inner court
with your heart and your spirit.
I thank you that you're inviting some
into the inner courts, if you will,
and to come away with you.
Come away, my fair one.
And God is wanting to say something wonderful to you.
And so I encourage you, if that's speaking to you,
that you would just spend a little extra time
with the Lord this week
and just listen for what he wants to tell you.
Philippians 4, 7 says,
then you will experience God's peace,
which exceeds anything we can understand.
His peace will guard your hearts and minds
as you live in Christ Jesus.
So Lord, I thank you for your peace,
that God, you are peace.
And I thank you that your peace
is what guards our hearts and our minds.
So if we're struggling in our minds
to think on things that are good, true, noble, lovely,
and of good report, things above and not beneath,
I thank you that you would just, yes, Lord,
send your angels to minister to our minds, to our bodies.
Thank you, Lord, that you,
I just keep hearing him say, yes, setting the captives free.
I just see him removing chains off of people's arms,
off their legs, off their minds.
So Lord, we just thank you.
And we invite you to come
and just continue to do supernatural heart surgery
in ways that we can't even fully comprehend it right now,
but I thank you that you're doing it.
I thank you that where those who have been oppressed
can come to you,
that you are a shelter to all of those in the time.
I'm troubled and you are our perfect hiding place.
I thank you, Lord, that you're showing us great
and mighty things that you can do
and that you are doing on our behalf
and that we don't have to be afraid.
We don't have to fear the future
because it's in your hands and we can trust you.
You are trustworthy.
Yes, Lord.
I thank you that,
yes, that you just continue to weave
the great tapestry of our lives together.
I thank you that even right now,
I'm just seeing in the spirit,
just that you are, that you have gold string
and the parts where the clothing,
if you will, the seams were breaking.
I thank you that you're resewing the seams together,
that all things are being made new
and that you know exactly the place to stitch
and when to stitch.
And I thank you that we won't get ahead of you, God.
I thank you that we are gonna be like Psalm 1 3,
which says that we will be standing firm
like a flourishing tree planted by God's design.
I thank you that we are planted by your design
in all things.
And I thank you also, God, that your word declares
that we will be deeply rooted by the brooks of bliss,
bearing fruit in every season of life,
that we will never be dry, never faint,
ever blessed and ever prosperous.
So Lord, I declare that to be our lot,
that we will be deeply rooted by brooks of bliss.
I imagine bliss, ladies, is very wonderful.
I imagine it's happiness in all kinds of things.
Maybe even let's do a word study on bliss definition.
What does it mean?
What does it mean to live a life of bliss
and to stay by the river of living water?
Do you know that the Bible says that out of our bellies
will flow rivers of living water?
So in order for that to happen,
we need to spend time with the Father
and get filled with it first.
So I'm gonna encourage you again,
just to really be in a season of seeking the Lord,
even if you don't fully know what that means yet.
Some of you all are like,
probably like we say things on these calls and these things,
probably speak Christianese in some ways to some of you,
and not that we're not all Christians,
maybe some are, some aren't, I'm not sure,
but like at the end of the day,
the Father can give you understanding.
And so it's always good to ask him.
Luke 8, 17 and 18,
and then I'm gonna ask you all to share.
So get ready for those of you
that are willing to share with the whole group.
This is what it says,
because this revelation lamp now shines within you,
nothing will be hidden from you.
It will all be revealed.
Every secret of the kingdom will be unveiled
and out in the open made known by the revelation light.
So pay careful attention to your hearts
as you hear my teaching.
For to those who have open hearts,
even more revelation will be given to them
until it overflows.
Are you seeking God for revelation
regarding the healing that you need in this season?
I want you to know that he sees the work that you're doing.
And for those that have open hearts
to hear what his spirit is saying,
he's giving us a promise
that he's gonna give more revelation.
He's gonna give more enlightenment.
Some of you have even wondered why,
like why the spirit mate hasn't come,
why you haven't had certain other things falling into place.
And those things are gonna start to come into place
more quickly in the days ahead.
I wanna encourage you in that good things
are on the horizon.
Who is willing to share with the whole group
what you shared in your private breakout group?
I can share.
Awesome, so Regina go first and then Nisheto.
Did I do it right?
All right, awesome.
Okay, Regina, go ahead.
I'm sorry, it says unable to access camera
so I can't turn it on even if I want.
Okay, yeah, so what came up in my mind,
I'm sure there are other stories
that are even deeper and more serious,
but this came up in my mind
when you mentioned that question,
that I have no game.
I don't know how to flirt.
I don't know how to interact with men.
I'm shy and it's just really awkward for me.
So that's the story that I tell myself
and it gets in the way.
Hey, and here's the thing,
y'all, it doesn't matter if it's what we consider little,
this still gets in our way, doesn't it?
Right, because, all right,
I'm gonna follow after something.
As soon as you said that I'm shy,
so I know some people legitimately can be shy.
But I've also felt really led to challenge shyness in the last several months.
And here's why.
I think that we become shy because stuff that happens.
I think some of us do have a natural tendency to be more quiet.
But there's a difference between shyness and kind of shrieking back.
And everybody's shyness shows up differently for everyone.
But I will tell you that I've seen shyness show up to the point that like some children
literally can't even speak to people.
You know, it's all different versions.
And again, I think some of that might be personality, but I also think there's something that might
be causing that.
So I really want to encourage you, for any of you that battle shyness, to look at it
more as, hey, this is something I've battled or struggled with.
And Lord, I really believe that you're going to help me come out of that and come into
the light and healing and to trust that people like me.
And I'm going to have a good experience when I when I interact with people.
And that includes men, ladies.
And here's why.
I have a friend that we talk all the time about her work and whatnot.
And she used to say she was shy too.
And y'all, the more we've talked, the more God has uncovered.
And there were things that she went through as a kid that caused her to shut down.
But as the mid-30s, she really hadn't connected the dots all the way back to some of these
things that happened in childhood.
And so, again, I just want to encourage you, ask the Lord if, you know, God, did you create
me to be shy or did I become shy because of things I went through and experienced?
Some of you have kind of adopted the wallflower kind of place where you come into the group
and you kind of hang out on the outskirts and you watch and you observe.
And I understand it can be scary.
You don't know everybody in the group.
But I'm going to encourage you that if that's you, I want to encourage you to partner with
coming out of hiding and posting and communicating with other people, even if it's cheering on
your other sister's post.
Because I feel like God wants to do something in that and helping you, again, come out of
the shyness, come into the light, come into community, come into a place of healing.
So many of us have experienced hurt and you're just not sure.
You're just not sure yet if you can have healthy relationship even with women.
But God wants you to know that you can.
And it can happen now.
So you don't have to keep waiting for that.
God places us all as Harry and families.
And we believe God led every one of you here divinely.
So he's up to something pretty wonderful in your life.
Regina, thank you for sharing.
Also on the hat, I have no game and flirting.
I will tell you guys, I won't say too much about it right now.
But in phase two, if you all choose to go into that and continue on with us, we give
all kinds of coaching on all of that.
So just know that you're not going to have to walk that part alone either.
So after you do the healing and you focus on that, we'll coach you on all, even if you
all weren't on this afternoon, Judith, she's, I don't know what her age is, but she told
me, she told us she had dated for 50 some years and, you know, she's about to finish
phase one.
And so she's, you know, she's about to step into the next phase, but, you know, we've
got your back.
And as you stay in community and you stay connected, we can coach you through that.
And yeah, it might look different when you're older versus younger, but it can, y'all will
be surprised.
Y'all will be surprised.
God does some really fun stuff and it can be a lot of fun to include your sisters and
this family.
Okay.
Nisheto, I'm going to have you go next.
Hey, thank you.
Okay.
I'm 51, never been married and I'm the second child.
Everyone in my family is married and they all have children, children grown up.
So I've been anti all over, all over and over again, you know?
So there's a root, one part of me that feels like a failure because I'm not.
I've never gotten married.
And I have my, sometimes my nieces and nephews
always ask me, where's your husband?
Where's your children?
And I'm like, well, keep praying for me.
But one of the lies that I'm currently struggling with is,
there's no point, you're already old.
You've lost your youth, you know?
What's the testimony if you get married at this age?
There's no point, you know?
You're gonna have kids at this age.
And who wants to marry an old woman?
There's really no point.
It isn't a testimony getting married.
It's no testimony at all.
No matter what way you look at it, there's no point.
I still do desire to get married.
I pray about it.
But I think somewhere deep down in my subconscious,
I just don't think it's ever gonna happen.
Yeah, okay, so this is huge.
I wanna really encourage you to ask the Lord
where this started.
Because not just because that's what we always say,
but literally this started somewhere for you
where you actually, to some degree, I'm hearing like,
you experienced such deep embarrassment about something
along the way that you just started shutting down
and telling yourself these things because you all,
this is self-protection at its finest.
Do y'all recognize that?
And I don't wanna point that out in a negative way,
but I want you all to see not only was there one storyline
that was really not like where God,
leading her to where God wants her to go in this regard,
but there were multiple storylines
and they were all intertwined, weren't they?
But this is how it works.
We believe the first one and we start partnering
with that first one and then we get hurt again.
And then we get, we believe another one
and that story intertwines with this story.
And then it just keeps getting bigger,
the web that we believe and we get caught up in.
And so two things I'm gonna focus on right now though.
You've lost your youth.
At 50, I feel, maybe because I'm 45,
I feel like 50 is pretty young.
And I feel like you've got a whole lot of life left to live.
And so why do we partner with my youth?
Now, obviously I understand,
youth is all the way we look at that, right?
To a lot of us, youth is a certain like, okay, for me,
when I think back, my youthful years
were probably up until about 20, 25.
I went through a lot of hard stuff, 25 to 35.
And so it was just, well, yeah, approximately, maybe longer.
It was like 15 years.
I don't know y'all, it was hard, a lot of hard.
And so I felt like I lost a lot of my joy
and the youthfulness about myself.
So you can look at it that way too, but here's the thing.
The Bible declares that God can renew, what?
Our youth, just like an eagle.
What?
So why would we believe that our youth is gone
and we've lost it and we cannot obtain it ever again?
I don't know about you all,
but I feel more youthful at 45 than I did at 35
because my heart is healing over and over and over again,
every day, more healing, more healing.
And I have more joy and I feel more excited,
all the things.
So you have so much life left to live
and so many promises yet to be fulfilled.
But if you continue to partner or anyone,
if we partner with things like it's all gone
and there's nothing left for me here,
then that is where we will live.
And so where do we want to partner tonight?
The other thing is you said,
who wants to marry an old woman?
Again, I think you're young.
I know it's not, I don't want to pretend
like I know what it's like to be you,
to be 55 and never having been married,
but here's the thing.
I think-
I'm sorry, 51, I'm 51.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I made you older.
You're not that old.
See, you're young.
See, didn't that make you feel young just by that?
Okay, Lord, thank you.
I did that on accident,
but how much younger did you just feel?
You're like, wait a minute.
No, I'm younger than that, right?
That is so funny.
I really didn't mean to say 55,
but it gives us all a good laugh, doesn't it?
But for real, I mean, I don't know.
I think God wants you to let go of those garments.
It's interesting.
I just didn't even make the parallel until just right now.
While we're in the breakout session,
I felt like there were some people
that were wearing sackcloth around, like grieving.
But I thought it was just about lost relationships
in the sense of they lost someone,
but I feel like you maybe are one of those people.
And here's the thing you all,
we can put the sackcloth garment on, if you will,
that the Bible talks about,
and we can continue to wear it
and live that, but that isn't where God wants us to stay.
And what I mean by that is like these storylines
are storylines of, if you will, death,
for a lack of better words.
Destruction, there's nothing left for me here.
If there was nothing left for us,
we wouldn't be here, right?
And you weren't fully saying that,
but it can lead us even there,
if we continue down the path that there's no point
in God bringing me someone at this stage in my life.
But what if God's just about to unleash radical miracles
that you haven't even conceived in your mind?
What if in one day things start changing,
would we tell ourselves a different story?
You better believe we would, wouldn't we?
You all, so much can happen in one day.
Supernatural transformation in our hearts
and our minds and our spirits can change everything.
I think the tough part is when, like you explained it,
you were seeing your siblings getting married,
you have your nieces and nephews or whoever
asking you, where's your husband?
And so every time that has happened in the past,
it's almost like you've had to protect yourself in a sense.
And so I just want you to know
the father knows that that has been hard,
but he wants to come in and show up and show off
in these next several years in your life.
And while I know many are believing for babies still,
you all, people are having babies later and later.
They are, things are different now.
Do I know that that is possible for you?
I don't know, I don't know what God's gonna do in your life,
but we can believe depending on what your body's doing, right?
Because that has to come into play there.
But let's not write our own story
and tell God all the things he can't do, right?
So what is it that God wants to show you
that he's rewriting a new story?
And what does it sound like?
And what does it look like?
And God, God, I said this last week
and I'm gonna say it again tonight.
I believe, help my unbelief.
So even if you believe a little tiny bit tonight,
just by me saying this stuff to you, Nisheto,
grab onto that little bit,
that little simmer of hope maybe,
or faith that's coming into you
that maybe I shouldn't think this way anymore.
Maybe I can laugh and have joy and find a spirit mate
and we can go and travel and we can have adventure
and we can smile and have abundance
and maybe even have some kids,
whether they're biological or some other way.
And maybe I can have this kingdom family and marriage
that's been talked about.
I feel the Holy Spirit as I'm talking to her.
So I know someone's getting something.
Y'all grab up, reach up and grab onto it.
God has not forgotten you.
The enemy wants you to think
that God has absolutely forgotten you.
And that like Nisheto said,
there's no point in trying basically.
But I'm gonna ask you to do something Nisheto,
can you smile for me?
Just smile real big.
Yeah, there it is.
There it is you all.
Why did I just do that?
Because you know what,
smiling and reminding ourselves that we have joy
and we have life in us and we have so much to offer,
that smile lights up this whole room.
Can you imagine just one day
after you've gone through the healing,
I keep saying that
because I want you all to remember,
I don't want you trying to date right now.
But after you've gone through the healing,
one day your spirit mate's gonna see that smile
and he's gonna be like,
that's whoa man, that's my woman.
I see her.
Because God is gonna cause you
to shine as bright as the sun.
him. I believe that I told the ladies this afternoon, I, you
know, we as a community, the coaches, we can believe all day
long for you all. And we have faith for you all. And we want
you to partner with the faith that we have for you. But it
also will take you all partnering with truth and not
lies. And telling yourselves a different story and partnering
with those stories. Okay, super important. Thank you for letting
me use your share. Thank you a lot of other things. Yeah, I'm
excited to see what's going to happen. I'm expected. So I'm
going to pray for let me let me do something right now. I
encourage you all just to just to just to hold out your hands.
I'm going to pray for the gift of faith for all of you. I just
feel led to pray for gift of faith. Father, thank you so
much. Yes, Lord. Lord in the in the things we've gone through in
the past, sometimes it's just so hard to believe. But Lord, I
know tonight that you're meeting the ladies right where they're
at. You're meeting them in any areas of unbelief, and you're
breathing life into those areas. You're breathing hope into those
areas. We asked Father for an impartation of the gift of
faith, God that you would fan the flames of faith and
revelation and hope in their lives. Yes, Lord, I pray that
you would meet them in the night hour and you would give
them dreams, give them visions, even in the daytime that they
they would come awake to the things that you want to do in
their lives and, and that you would help them to perceive it.
Thank you, Lord, that you would just continue to pour bucket
fulls of hope, help them just even to see it now in the
spirit, just as if you just took a loving, like bucket full of
hearts and just pour hope pour in life pour in love over them,
and that you would help them to receive everything that you have
for them. Thank you, Father, that you're continuing to work
on their behalf right now. In Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Amen.
All right. Let's see. I think Michelle had her I saw your hand
up. And then I know we have a couple of others. I also have
another breakout session for you all too. So we'll try to get
that in tonight as well. Michelle, go ahead.
Um, so a couple of us are talking in our group, and we
were saying that all the good guys are taken as a divorced
individual. And I see all these different people meeting others.
And I'm like, where's all the good guys? I know, I've always
had a track of picking the wrong ones. And so that lie of there's
no good guys left is one that some of us have held on to.
Yeah. Okay, so here's the thing, your picker was just
broken temporarily. Okay. I'm serious. My picker was broken
for a while too. It was. And I've had the same thought that
you are saying right now. I really thought that I was only
going to be able to attract unhealthy people. And then the
more that I healed that just that was changing. Now keep in
mind, when I did step into my dating season, after I went
through heartwork, there were guys that right in the beginning,
especially super unhealthy. But this time, I recognized the red
flags and I didn't blow past them. That was the difference. I
stayed in community and I was like, Okay, I think this is a
red flag. But is this red flag? Or is this green or yellow? Or
what is this? And the community just helped. And so there's
that my comment on that is that you can definitely find good
men, there are a lot of good men out there. I know sometimes we
struggle to believe that but what we look for we find you
all it's true. If you're looking for the bad guys, you're going
to see the bad guys. You are. If we're broken, and we're just
kind of a wreck in any way, even if we've got certain parts of
our life together, but there's just other parts that just are
not healed. We're going to attract unhealthy. We are. You
don't have to be afraid of that. Because you're here and you're
investing. Um, yeah, that's a good question, Julie. Um, I'll
comment on that. Um, but I want to encourage you to start coming
out of alignment and agreement with that statement. And while
you have experienced people in the past that have been
unhealthy, God, thank you that you're going to help me find a
spirit mate that has in walks in all the fruits of the Holy
Spirit, which is love, joy.
a kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,
and self-control.
I might've missed one,
but that's kind of like you wanna partner with those things
and believe that God is going to equip you
and enable you to grow in your wisdom,
to grow in your discernment,
to again, come into community
and let us also come alongside of you in that process
and that you'll see things more clearly this time.
This time will be different.
We believe, well, it can be, you know, again,
it depends on what you all partner with.
Some people will rush right past what we're coaching
and even people that were like,
hey, yeah, I'm concerned about this guy and this situation
and they'll just keep dating.
Now there's not much we can do there, is there?
Right?
But if the people listen to the coaching,
because we really have people's best interest,
if we see something that doesn't look good,
we love you enough to tell you, right?
But it's up to the person to then choose,
are they just continuing with someone
because they're afraid that they won't meet someone else?
Or are they going to choose to wait and say, you know what?
This one might not be the best fit for me, right?
It's a choice.
It's always a choice trust.
Julie says, what are you using to measure a good godly man?
We talk about the fruits of the spirit
a lot in this community.
So without going into that too much again,
because you guys will learn all kinds of stuff
about that in the next phase,
but that's kind of key.
It's key.
All right, let's see here.
Carissa, I'm going to have you go next.
Hello.
Oh.
Mine actually went right along with that.
I have a lot of married friends
and the guys that I've dated
have not been committed to a relationship.
So I believe that the ones that are left,
there's not any good men out left.
Ones that will commit.
And then my second one is that if I do find it,
then I don't deserve it.
Is there anything when you were a kid,
like where you felt like you missed out on something?
I don't know.
There's something there to that statement.
Like, I don't know if there was something that you wanted
and you missed out on it,
or you were late for something and you got in trouble.
What comes to mind is that my mother had two children
very close together, six years older than me.
And then there was me.
And then she didn't have two other children
until 10 and 11 years later.
And so I kind of always felt like my siblings
had their best, and those two grew up very, very close,
like best friends.
And I never had that.
I always wanted a sister that was my best friend.
And I wasn't very close to my dad either.
Do you feel like your dad was committed to you all?
My biological dad was not, I don't think committed to me.
I just think that he didn't know how to raise a girl.
And his two boys, my two older brothers,
were like his trophy boys.
So I didn't have a lot of attention from him at all.
I hardly saw him.
And my stepdad, he worked a lot,
and he's very close to my younger siblings,
which were the ones my mom had the two younger with.
Okay, so that's kind of a big deal.
I'm seeing, and you might've done some work
around this before, but I feel like,
I just wanna nudge you to look at this again.
I'm seeing that you wanted connection
and you didn't get it.
Yeah.
And so what can happen, and this is for everyone,
but I just wanna coach Carissa on this for a minute.
But when we believe that,
like even the story that you,
which I appreciate what you're saying,
like your bio dad didn't know how to connect
with you as a girl, so he struggled.
In your kindness, you're doing that, okay?
You're being kind enough.
statement, but underneath of that, it kind of links with what I was saying earlier about,
you know, and it's not so much that you're saying, I didn't want that, but it's almost
like the storyline you're telling yourself to help you process the fact that probably at times you
felt alone, that there was more that you wanted from him. And I'm going to go as far as that
sometimes that you might've felt guilty for wanting that from him. And so I want to encourage
you. The reason I'm kind of leaning into this so much is I feel like that is part of why in the
past you've attracted men that are not committed because dad didn't fully commit. He was there,
but like you never felt like you could like the commitment, the camaraderie, if you will,
that closeness that comes from true intimacy and connection. Does that make sense? And then
go ahead. Yeah. That's like, that's spot on. I, I always wanted to be with my dad and he always
wanted to be with his boys and in men, I've always reached for that for not attention, but the
desire to, to have that. And and then as, as far as siblings too, I, I always desired connection
with my siblings and they just, my two older had each other and they were super close and I was
kind of left out. And then my two younger grew up very close. And even till today, like they're
very close as well. So here's part of what's going to be key for you is I'm really asking
the Lord when you're looking at this situation, I want you to focus on the one with your bio dad
first. Okay. I'm going to have you do it in two phases. I want you to focus on the bio dad first.
And I want you to ask the Lord to reveal any vow that you made to yourself back then.
Okay. What do I mean by an inner vow? An inner vow are statements that we make when we are going
through pain and trauma where we just partner with that so that we, it's like a self-protection
thing so that we don't get hurt. Even though we experience hurt, it's like a way that we put up a
wall. And so inner vows can sound all different kinds of ways. One of the things, you know just,
this is the one that comes top of mind, you know, I'm never going to let a man hurt me ever again,
you know, or I'm never going to give my heart completely to men because men just don't commit.
So again, I'm just, it's kind of when, where you're making a vow is where you're
actually making an agreement with something. Like I'm never going to do this because of this.
Does that make sense? Yeah. Um, I I'll have to ponder that or pray about as far as like my dad,
I did do that when I was in my twenties with, um, I actually been married before and he was
fully committed, an amazing man of God. And I left the relationship, the marriage. And, um, I,
I did make a vow that I was never going to leave again. Like I never was, I would, I would, I would
not ever be the one to break it off. And so that is something that I have been working through,
working through, um, because then I get in really nasty relationships because,
well, for whatever reason, my pickers broken. Um, but then I stay in it way too long. Um,
because I told myself I was never going to do that again. Yeah. Um, yeah. Yeah. I don't,
I'll have to pray about as a child or younger. Yeah. And so after you do that with your bio dad
and just see what God uncovers. Yeah. And you don't have to do that all right now by any means.
Um, but then I want to encourage you to do that with your stepdad as well.
And you might feel led to do with your siblings along the way, like just trust the Holy spirit
in this process. Also, even if you've done forgiveness before towards yourself for
leaving that other marriage, um, I want to encourage you to do the forgiveness prayer
sheet for yourself. Even if you've done it before you've done healing before I just,
that came up as you were talking about that. I just want to make sure everything's kind of clear.
Um, so that as you're continuing to lean into the Lord about this, you'll, you'll be able to kind of
have a real clarity around, uh, kind of next steps to help you walk into freedom.
break free from, you know, whatever's kind of got you snagged, if you will, in this area. But,
yeah, so good, Carissa. Thank you for sharing and being willing to share about your life and
transparency, and we'll be praying for you about the connection as well. The last thing I want to
say is, and you guys will hear me use this scripture often because it's like one of my
favorite verses, Psalm 68, 6, and it's the scripture that talks about God setting the
solitary and family. Some of us don't feel that connection with our biological family,
and unfortunately, I wish that I could tell you that that pain will go away
completely. Sometimes it lessens, but what I can tell you is that God will absolutely place you in
family, whether that's friends, your local church community, this online community, and people you
meet here, and he can really help you feel connection, camaraderie, acceptance, like true
love, and like unconditional in ways that you haven't before. So just all of you be open to what
God wants to do in your life. Thank you again so much. Let's see if I get it right.
Did I do it right? No, it's okay. So if you think about Muhammad Ali, so Ali-O-Wa.
Ali-O-Wa. Ali-O-Wa. Okay, I love it. Thank you for helping me. You're welcome.
Yeah, so I was the one who put in in the chat about the thinness, but specifically like what
I wrote down was who will find me attractive with a big stomach. Now, I'm 5'11". If I were to
stand up, it's not like I have a tummy, right, because I have a little one, but I'm not quite a
little one, but and so I just wrote down here that my parents, I am Nigerian, and so my parents
whenever I come around, they would always kind of look at my stomach and talking about my weight,
and you said the word, Bethany, embarrassed, and I never quite put that emotion to that
interaction when they would look at me and be like, oh, what's going on with you? And they're
not looking at my face, right? They're looking at my stomach, and that it really, it made me feel as
though my weight was all about my stomach. It made me feel like that was the one body part that I was
made up of, like I didn't have any other parts of me, just my stomach, and it embarrassed me,
and it made me feel like the lie was like there was something wrong with me. The lie also that
if my stomach was flat, then a man would find me attractive, and then just in like thinking about
going further, I remember how my dad would always talk about, you know, when he first met my mom,
my mom was slim, and in fact, he nicknamed her slim, and that was like the main thing that he
would always talk about that really drew him to her was her figure, and so I think I'm, I believe
I'm carrying that template, and so once again, as you were talking, like just like more things were
coming around, like coming up for me, because I realized that just a lot of emphasis has always
been on outward appearance in my family, especially coming from my dad. He would make
comment like, you know, well, I married your mom because, you know, I wanted our kids to be tall
and slim, and so I always, you know, ended up with men, got married and divorced, but those men
always, they were attractive, but they kind of reaffirmed that, oh, they're attractive,
and I'm attractive because I have a, you know, I don't have, back then I didn't have, like,
it was a little tummy at that time, and so it was okay, like, that I would be with them,
but I still had this thing about my stuff, you know, my tummy. I hope that makes sense,
like it does. Okay, thank you guys for nodding. I appreciate it.
Um, yeah, so I just I, yeah, I think it's very deep.
It's very.
Yeah.
I will tell you, I love, I love the trail that you're on right now.
I think that there's going to bring a lot of healing and clarity for you as you continue
to lean into this with the Lord.
One thing in particular, I'm sorry, I can't tell where that sound is coming from.
Oh, maybe that it's okay.
I couldn't tell if it was someone else.
It's totally fine.
If it's if it's with your little kiddos, um, as you were telling this story, y'all, I don't
know if I've ever told this story in a, in a heartwork session, um, but this came to
mind, um, because I was really relating to you in the sense that I years ago, I went
on this vacation with my best friend and her mom and their family.
And, uh, this one day we had gone to the beach and we had come back and we were kind of sitting
and talking and her mom had the audacity to reach over and touch my stomach and basically
talk about how we both have bellies and I was mortified.
I could not believe it.
And you all, even as I'm saying this right now, I didn't even put these two things together,
but, um, not that long ago, I've been in the process of losing, uh, working on really kind
of losing weight.
And I had tried so many things and really just struggled.
Um, I also gained weight in my stomach.
I tend to have some struggles with hormones and digestive issues.
And so, um, it wasn't always easy, um, to just lose weight.
Like when I was younger, now, when I look back, I'm like, oh my gosh, I was thin.
Like, what was I thinking?
I was so hard on myself.
My entire life, um, always had body image issues.
I will tell you that God has been healing those body images, things, the way I look
at myself and just really learning how to love all of me.
Um, so losing the weight isn't just the key to that, but what I will tell you is that
interestingly enough, we went to this church that we were considering moving to before
we came here to Florida.
And the first night we were at a meeting at this church, the meeting went pretty well
until y'all aren't going to believe this at the end.
These are people I've met for the first time, potentially going to be the pastor's wife
in this church.
And this woman is talking to me and she says, are you pregnant?
And I was like, no, I'm not pregnant.
She's like, oh.
So, and then she thankfully did not pat my stomach y'all that would have made it so much
worse, but she patted her own stomach and said, oh, so you just have a belly like me.
And literally until I'm talking to y'all tonight, I did not put those two things together.
There's two different circumstances at totally different times in my life, but here's the
same thing being said to me.
We walk out of there.
My husband's like, you know, he didn't know that happened.
So he's like, what do you think?
How did it go?
And I was like, it was horrible.
I was like, you're not going to believe what just happened.
I'm like, this is the first time I've met this person.
What can you imagine?
They would say that someone new coming in this church anyways, I won't go on that rant,
but y'all I'm bringing this up because I think this is where the Lord wants us to go.
I had something else planned, but I just trust Holy spirit.
And I will say to all of you that if people have done that to you in any way, if they've
my youngest spiritual daughter, I'm not her biological mom, her biological mom has made
comments to her about how big her boobs are and just really, just ridiculing her, you
know?
So no matter what it is, if someone has put you down, your body's down, or you have done
it yourself, I really want to encourage you to ask God to come in and heal those areas
in those ways.
You know, it is going to take forgiving, you know, forgiving those people that have done
that stuff, said that stuff, or even the ways they look.
I mean, the fact that you felt like they were not looking at you, looking at your body and
assessing what, you know, should or shouldn't be.
And, you know, again, these are all things that I'm interpreting from what you were saying,
but y'all, we've got to forgive them.
They, you know, people do like, do not fully understand what they're doing.
That woman, I don't think for a second, fully understood the weight of what she did and
said in that moment.
I wish that she had, because I really sincerely prayed for her for weeks after that.
Cause I was like, Lord, like if she said that to me on my first time there, I can imagine
that might happen for someone else.
else. Of course, I don't want that to happen. But people do
and say things because of their own hurt, their own ignorance at
times, you know, and I'm not trying to put people down. But
sometimes it is ignorance. It literally is. It could be the
way they were raised as well. So just like I was saying at the
beginning tonight, if our family line told us a story, we're
going to believe it. So even our parents, some of them, their
family lines, told them and said these things and, and they
partnered with it. And that's why it's so important for us as
Kinsmen Redeemers in our family lines, to change things and make
it different for those that come behind us. How can we show up
and get set free, and then create freedom for other people.
You know, I will also say that a lot of times, people that get
into relationships with, like, maybe your mom and dad are
completely happy and blissful, who knows. But what I'm just
going to say here is sometimes people are hurting and never
saying anything. And I'm just wondering, just out of
curiosity, you said, my dad said when he met my mom, she was
slim. So he nicknamed her slim. So I'm curious, is she still
slim? No. Okay, my mom has a belly like she's like, yeah. So
maybe and I'm not excusing your mom or your dad. But I wonder if
she is afraid that you are becoming like her. Sometimes our
parents fear and they don't want us to struggle in the same way
as that they struggle. That maybe can be a conversation one
day, maybe you could let her know that, hey, mom, like I
felt like you were looking at my stomach, and it really hurt my
feelings. Now you pray before you do that, because you know,
you want to do it in the right timing and with the Holy
Spirit's leading. But there are times where things like that can
open up a conversation for healing, but also like, maybe,
you know, again, you assess someone's health. Okay, so you
don't want to just go in and ask someone you already know is
completely unhealthy. If they're not able to have a
healthy conversation, I wouldn't recommend just going right into
a conversation like that. But if you feel like your mom is in the
slightest open to those kind of conversations, it might be worth
just talking to her about it. But also really allowing God to
heal you. Because the other thing is, my insecurities were
already there about my stomach in both situations. And so when
those people did those things and said those things, and it
emphasized it because it was in me. Yeah. So the more that we
heal internally, and get set free, the less those kind of
things will impact us. Right? Have you all ever wondered in
and when I say this, please don't think bad of me. Okay. But
have you ever just seen people like, they just wear bikinis,
and they're on the beach, and they're just free as free can
be all shapes and sizes? Have you ever just thought to
yourself, like, how are they so free? Like they just I don't,
they don't, you know, again, this is all in my own head. I
don't even have conversations with some of these people. But
like, God, if they can be free, and some of them are skinny, and
some of them have a lot of weight, like, I want to be free
like that, too. Yeah. So maybe that's something God wants to do
for all of us this next week, few weeks, maybe he's wanting to
some of y'all guess what? Guess what happens when you get
married? Y'all guess what? You're gonna have some sex.
Hopefully. So here's the thing. Hopefully, you'll get
comfortable with your body now and heal now. So that when
those days come, you'll be able to handle it. And you know,
obviously, everybody's bodies are different. And so our bodies
change. So the experiences are going to be maybe different than
what you experienced in your 20s. And you got to figure it
out and not give up on each other. But I encourage you and
more like I feel like an almost implore like I implore you to
seek the Lord about healing regarding your body image and
what he wants to do. And how has the storyline you've been
telling yourself? Like how has that gone over the years? And
See where the Lord wants to set you free in these next days.
I think some people are going to get set free of some body stuff.
And I want to pray into that.
Um, let's do this.
I want to activate you because we didn't go into our other chat.
And I think it's important.
Um, let me think how I can bring this together.
Cause I don't want to not talk about it at all, but I don't want
to go into a lot of conversation.
So one of the other things I was going to talk about is control.
Um, and if you think about it, sometimes even regarding our bodies, um, we
maintain a lot of control or lack of control either way, um, but we struggle.
Right.
And so what we try to do is we try to over correct with certain things.
Don't we?
Um, so how many of you, I want to just see in the chat, I just want to activate
you, how many of you are struggling, even the fact that we've been talking
about the body stuff tonight, I want to see kind of where you're at with this.
Um, and also I would, would like anybody that's struggling with
control, any form of control.
I want to see it in the chat.
Is there anyone that might even be willing to share openly when
we haven't gone into the breakout?
But, um, maybe you're just been struggling this last week
with control or anything else.
Okay.
So Kelly, are you willing to share with everyone?
Um, yeah, I would the control I was sharing more like with the whole body
image thing that, well, everything that's been coming up tonight has
completely hit home, what Nisheto shared.
I feel that exact same thing.
Um, what just came up with Aliyah, I think I got it right.
Being, I mean, the tummy thing, it was weird because I did not even, I
wouldn't have never have voiced that or even thought it probably.
But when you said it, it was like, Oh my gosh, that's so true for me too.
Um, and so then I think control, maybe I have just gone through a season of,
um, weight loss and working out and I've always been real active, but I
injured my back a few, probably about eight years ago.
And so that kind of slowed things down.
And now I'm in perimenopause and having a whole lot of aches and pains
and also losing my hair and, um, in the.
We might've lost her.
Shoot.
Oh, there you are.
There you are.
Go ahead.
Okay.
So, um,
losing your hair.
That was the last thing we heard.
Yeah.
And then, and I had lost all this weight and I was feeling great.
I also went through a breakup earlier this year, the beginning of the year with
the person that I thought I was going to get married to.
And, um, in many ways felt like all the things we talk about, he's all these
things.
So it's been real crushing.
Like I lost him now I'm putting back on weight and my hair is falling.
And so with the control being, um, I do feel like I'm like, there's almost too
much that I don't, I can't control it.
If that makes sense.
Like there's so much happening all at one time.
And I do feel very helpless to control those things, or I have some idea of what
I should do, but it's overwhelming.
Um, and so, yeah, I do feel a little bit like out of control and unable to
control circumstances in my life, partly because of that, you know, like when
you're younger, it's kind of like in talking about even the tummy thing, you're
like, when you're in your twenties, you're like, Oh, just run extra and don't eat
bad food for three days.
And like, Oh, I lost two pounds, you know?
And now I just feel like I have all these obstacles against me.
And even like with wanting children still, I'm like, I'm 51.
And that is probably not going to happen.
Even though people still tell me, Oh, I knew somebody who was in their
fifties who got pregnant.
And then I wonder like, is it a possibility?
And then it's like, no, you're crazy.
Like, don't think like that.
Just get over it.
You know?
So there's a lot going on and I feel like I can't really control any of it, which
might be a good thing in the sense of like really trusting the Lord and just,
but also might be a bad thing if it causes me to.
Give up.
Yeah.
Kind of like what Ms. Jada was saying about like, just feeling like, why bother?
What's the point at this point?
You know?
Yeah.
One of the things I want to encourage you to do is to ask God if it's his idea.
Okay.
So on the baby thing, I want you to ask God if it's his idea or not, because you just
decided that you were crazy and you shouldn't, you shouldn't think like that.
Now, again, you know, we, we really don't want to encourage people that your body's
already past that point.
Right.
But I also think God can do supernatural things.
But there's a balance there.
But I also don't think you should just dismiss yourself and say, Oh, that's a crazy thought.
I shouldn't even think like that.
Because y'all sometimes God gives us these supernatural thoughts for a reason.
So just want to encourage you number one in that.
Number two, I want to also just really nudge you to ask the Lord, even though you were
in a season of like, you know, said weight loss and working out when you injured your
back and all this stuff started happening and you felt like you couldn't be in control.
I want you to ask the Lord, did that tap into anything from when you were younger where
you felt like you didn't have control?
Because you were talking about like the body stuff, but I just kept sensing that there's
somewhere underlying that you felt like you lost control or it was taken from you.
And the Lord wants to come in and heal that situation.
And that's also going to then impact some current day areas where you're struggling
to feel like I really am ready Lord to let go of this.
So I don't know what all that means.
But that's just what I was hearing when you were talking.
Yeah, I definitely in my home growing up, my dad disciplined in anger and he didn't
though we know knew that he loved us.
He didn't know how to discipline not in anger.
And so there was a whole lot of volatility and and I felt like I was the protector of
my brother and I was the one who didn't get in trouble by doing all the right things.
And then what they sort of protect him.
And so I see how that aligns right there.
You said I, I didn't get in trouble because I, you know, doing all the right things or
trying to do all the right things.
So even in the, you were doing really good.
You said I was working out, I was losing weight and then I injured my back.
And and so sometimes I'm not saying God caused the back injury.
So please don't hear me say that.
But there are times where I do like even myself.
I've wondered like, Lord, I don't think you made me sick.
But I feel like because I'm sick.
You're using this to help me get more rest because I'm a go.
I go, go, go, go, go.
And then some.
And so sometimes, unfortunately, I go so long until my body hits a wall.
Now that's not God's fault.
Right.
But sometimes even in this, I feel like there's a connection here on the do it all right.
I'd be, I'd be curious to know, even like, do you feel like you have that checklist
regarding if I do this, if I do this, if I do this, I should get this spirit made.
But then when that doesn't happen, exactly the timing.
You're kind of like, well, wait a minute.
I did everything you told me to do, Lord.
But it's not happening.
I do sort of feel that I didn't used to.
So there were some big things I had to overcome because of growing up that way.
I led a real rebellious, like teen and 20s.
And there was a lot of sin and repercussions from that.
Went through a broken engagement when I was 30.
And after that, went through counseling and addressed a lot of that stuff.
And at that time, I went through a forgiveness thing with my dad.
And then I went to the mission field and that was great.
And through that counseling time, I did feel like the Lord gave me a word about having children.
And it was really powerful.
And it was in the middle of doing a Bible study where you were supposed to pray about
the new name that the Lord would give you after, as happens with many people in the Bible.
And through that whole thing, he gave me a word about having children.
So I've clung to that for all these years of going to baby showers and celebrating
roommates and best friends and everybody else.
And now I'm at this, I'm back in America.
I lived in a city where a lot of people are older when they get married.
And then I went overseas and now I'm back in.
my hometown, which is not that way, it's smaller.
And now everybody has grandchildren
and I don't even have grandchildren.
I don't have kids or grandchildren or anything.
And I get that question a lot, like, oh, do you have kids?
No, you know, like.
Yet, yet, you don't have them yet.
I wanna encourage you all to get very comfortable
and practice using the word yet, okay?
And here's why, because the stories
that we're telling ourselves,
I know that you don't currently have them, okay?
Obviously we can't ignore reality,
but if we are believing for something,
then we just don't have them yet.
Some of you all, God is gonna bring a spirit mate
into your life that has kids,
that need a lot of love and a lot of care.
And some of you, God's gonna give you kids.
Just be open and surrendered fully
to what God wants to do.
Again, I just wanna encourage you on these things
that you were saying, you know, again,
I'm really big on you all, even if you've done work before,
just if there's something God is highlighting
while you're here, just be open
to taking a peek back at that stuff.
It doesn't mean you have to go back
all the way through everything
and comb with a fine tooth comb,
but just ask the Holy Spirit,
is there anything else with these situations
that I need more revealing for healing?
So that you can come out of alignment
with thinking you have to do it all right,
or that you're crazy if you have thoughts
that might be God thoughts and all that kind of stuff.
And also the last thing,
and then I'm gonna start to close.
I have one other thing that stood out to me in the chat
that I wanna mention.
The protector of your brother stood out a lot too.
And some of you all were those protectors
in your family as well.
And I just heard the word say that he wants to show you
how to be a receiver and to be defended by him
more than you've ever known what that means.
And so he wants to show you in his goodness,
how he protects.
And so you can surrender, you can let go of control.
You can wave the white flag and say,
Lord, I'm gonna let you do this.
I'm gonna let you have control
and I'm gonna see you work in mighty ways in my life.
And what stood out to me in the chat,
thank you for sharing, by the way,
and all my other ladies, thanks for sharing.
The one thing I wanted to say from the chat,
Tammy, I love what you say here.
She says, I don't wear shorts in public,
nor do I wear swimsuits.
Even small framed people have issues as well.
That's right.
I have veins on my legs,
so I'm not comfortable wearing shorts.
I finally wore a pair of shorts to the beach two weeks ago.
Praise the Lord.
I love these victories.
These are huge.
Even though they may seem small in the moment, you all,
these are huge things, no matter what you, what size.
And hopefully you guys know,
I'm not just saying people struggle
that maybe feel like they're overweight.
People struggle in all different kinds of ways.
That's why I mentioned even like different people
that I know and things that they have struggled with,
myself included.
So whatever your struggle is,
God cares about you and he wants you to love yourself.
I gave a challenge a few weeks ago
to look at yourselves in the mirror
and start thanking God for the body parts
that you don't like about yourself.
And I'm gonna encourage you again.
I don't know if that's what led you to do that, Tammy,
but I'm excited for that breakthrough.
And I believe someone else here tonight
needed that challenge as well.
So sincerely, yes, this is how do you do it.
You stand in front of the mirror.
I'm activating you guys in this this week again.
So if you did this before,
or if you heard me say it and you didn't do it,
I encourage you to do this.
This is how we do it.
We stand in front of the mirror, you all,
without a bunch of clothes on.
If you wanna keep your bra and underwear on, fine.
But what I want you to do is look at yourself.
And if you start having negative thoughts
about any part of your body,
that's the part of your body
I want you to start thanking God for.
And I want you to do it often, not just once,
because that's gonna teach you how to love your body,
how to appreciate your body.
You all, I used to not like my legs, like at all.
And I kind of felt the same, Tammy.
I didn't wanna wear shorts.
I don't have the varicose veins yet.
I have some things that are kind of starting
to look like that a little bit,
but mine was more, I used to be really athletic.
And when I started feeling like
I was getting a little overweight and was losing muscle,
that muscle was not looking so good anymore, in my opinion.
And so,
You all, God led me not only to put my hands on my legs
and thank him for my legs, but little by little,
I found myself thanking God for my body
that was strong for me in all the years
that I went through abuse and torment
and all of the things.
You all, my body could have gave up on me.
It could have gave out and it didn't.
And so I felt like, God, thank you for my body.
And I literally, I'll be like, body,
thank you so much for being strong for me.
Thank you for legs, for being strong and mighty.
And I just started,
would just start declaring things over myself
and little by little, I'm not saying it's easy, you all,
but it was worth it.
And little by little, I sincerely feel differently
about my body and who I am.
And I hope that that is something
that you will experience as well.
I'm gonna pray.
We are way over again.
I gotta start cutting this back, you all.
I gotta get better.
Jackie's getting on me,
but I love this time with you all, I do.
And it's hard to cut it off,
but I'm gonna pray and close this up.
Father, thank you so much for freedom.
We know that your word declares
that where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.
So Lord, we call forth liberty and freedom
from heaven tonight and to your daughter's hearts,
their minds, their bodies, their spirits, their souls.
I pray that you would help them.
God, when they look in the mirror,
help them to see themselves the way you see them.
I pray that you would give them supernatural declarations
that come from having to declare over their bodies,
to declare over their minds and their spirits,
that you would help them to catch their thoughts quickly
and cast down any thought
that does not align with your truth.
I thank you that they would stop meditating
on stories filled with lies and mistrust and hurt and pain,
stories that didn't come from heaven
that were not birthed out of your goodness
and your truth and your life.
But God, I thank you
that you would help them to hear your new story,
help them to hear the words that you're saying
and speaking over them and to them.
And I thank you that they are going to partner
with the truth in the days ahead.
I thank you that, yes, Lord,
just as the wind blows and we can't see it,
we know it's there.
So Lord, I thank you that you sent the Holy Spirit
to help us, to comfort us, to guide us
so that we would never have to walk alone.
I thank you for the Holy Spirit.
We love you.
We thank you for your power.
We thank you for resurrecting power in life,
to come into every dead area of our lives
and bring life and truth and redemption and restitution
more and more in the days ahead.
And we believe all these things tonight in Jesus' name.
God is doing something awesome
and I look forward to hearing about it
from all of you in the days ahead.
We love you and we'll see you in the group
and we'll be back next Monday, you all.
Have a great week.
Bye, everyone.