WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:07.800 Because you'd be surprised how many people think that their circumstances are so unique. 2 00:00:07.800 --> 00:00:12.080 Nobody's struggling with the stuff that they struggle with because that's a lie from Satan. 3 00:00:12.080 --> 00:00:14.400 That's a demonic lie. 4 00:00:14.400 --> 00:00:17.360 The same stuff you're going through, everybody else is going through. 5 00:00:17.360 --> 00:00:22.880 Now it might be, it might be unique in some aspects or circumstances to you, but the, 6 00:00:22.880 --> 00:00:27.840 but the struggle you're going through is common to all human beings. 7 00:00:27.840 --> 00:00:35.080 And to find some people in your life that you can be honest about that is huge in helping 8 00:00:35.080 --> 00:00:43.840 you become an overcomer in that area. 9 00:00:43.840 --> 00:00:50.340 Today we're talking about bloodstained allies, and I want to give you a definition of bloodstained 10 00:00:50.340 --> 00:00:52.920 allies that I like to use. 11 00:00:52.920 --> 00:01:01.520 Bloodstained allies are men and women who've been bloodied by life, bloodstained in battles 12 00:01:01.520 --> 00:01:02.880 of life. 13 00:01:02.880 --> 00:01:08.640 They know shame, disappointment, loss of jobs, betrayal, maybe even loss of marriage, pain 14 00:01:08.640 --> 00:01:14.560 in a family, but they're allied together with a vision to follow Christ. 15 00:01:14.560 --> 00:01:19.920 And so when I talk about bloodstained allies, I'm speaking of men and women who are lovers 16 00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:25.040 of Jesus, they're going after Jesus, they're seeking first the kingdom, but they're willing 17 00:01:25.040 --> 00:01:30.640 to be open and vulnerable about the hardships in their lives, and they can come alongside 18 00:01:30.640 --> 00:01:39.800 you and I and, and be a friend, be a covenant friendship in our life as we go through stuff. 19 00:01:39.800 --> 00:01:42.200 So it's not just friendship. 20 00:01:42.200 --> 00:01:46.640 Friendship is the starting point, no doubt about it, but a bloodstained ally is someone 21 00:01:46.640 --> 00:01:52.920 that there's a mutual vulnerability of struggles that we've been through that we can all relate 22 00:01:52.920 --> 00:01:53.920 to. 23 00:01:53.920 --> 00:01:59.120 And even if a particular issue in someone's life is not exactly anything they've been 24 00:01:59.120 --> 00:02:01.320 through, you can feel their pain. 25 00:02:01.320 --> 00:02:06.680 You understand the shame and the brokenness in their life, and you can identify with that 26 00:02:06.680 --> 00:02:11.720 enough to listen and not be judgmental toward them. 27 00:02:11.720 --> 00:02:17.720 So the bloodstained allies, the men who came along, my life, came into my life around that 28 00:02:17.720 --> 00:02:21.520 fire pit during that really, really dark time in my life were like that. 29 00:02:21.520 --> 00:02:23.520 They were not judging me. 30 00:02:23.520 --> 00:02:25.720 They were not pointing the finger at me. 31 00:02:25.720 --> 00:02:29.000 They were understanding that I was going through a hard time. 32 00:02:29.000 --> 00:02:35.280 And then as the relationship grew, they began to share also about their own life. 33 00:02:35.280 --> 00:02:44.040 So in one sense, my own brokenness and willingness to be vulnerable and open about that then 34 00:02:44.040 --> 00:02:47.320 gave these guys permission to also be vulnerable in their own life. 35 00:02:47.320 --> 00:02:49.200 I would ask things like, well, what about you guys? 36 00:02:49.200 --> 00:02:50.920 You know, what have you been through? 37 00:02:50.920 --> 00:02:52.440 And so they would open up. 38 00:02:52.440 --> 00:03:02.400 So that built a camaraderie that built a tight knit group of bloodstained allies that radically 39 00:03:02.400 --> 00:03:04.240 changed my life. 40 00:03:04.240 --> 00:03:11.480 And I love those times with men around a fire pit, hanging out together, and doesn't have 41 00:03:11.480 --> 00:03:12.480 to be there. 42 00:03:12.480 --> 00:03:13.920 It could be at a restaurant or something like that. 43 00:03:13.920 --> 00:03:17.920 But I just love those times where we can be real with each other. 44 00:03:17.920 --> 00:03:20.280 We can be authentic with each other. 45 00:03:20.280 --> 00:03:26.600 And I get healed because of the listening ears and the listening hearts of these men. 46 00:03:26.600 --> 00:03:31.680 A number of years ago, I read a book called Big Potential by Sean Accor. 47 00:03:31.680 --> 00:03:33.400 And I love this quote. 48 00:03:33.400 --> 00:03:40.240 I believe that there is one main reason why we're not, where we are seeing elevated rates 49 00:03:40.240 --> 00:03:46.240 of anxiety in our schools and unhappiness in the world, a crucial mistake that every 50 00:03:46.240 --> 00:03:52.720 major religious tradition and ancient philosopher warned us against. 51 00:03:52.720 --> 00:04:00.520 We've been trying to pursue happiness and success by ourselves in isolation and in competition. 52 00:04:00.520 --> 00:04:04.200 We've been told that success is a zero sum game. 53 00:04:04.200 --> 00:04:09.360 And if someone else gets happier, you feel worse in comparison. 54 00:04:09.360 --> 00:04:15.620 We've also been told that happiness is a private, personal choice, and that you can't change 55 00:04:15.620 --> 00:04:16.760 other people. 56 00:04:16.760 --> 00:04:23.720 This leads us to feel disconnected at work, hyper comparison on social media, and never 57 00:04:23.720 --> 00:04:25.480 feel like we are enough. 58 00:04:25.480 --> 00:04:28.240 This is what I call small potential. 59 00:04:28.240 --> 00:04:32.360 Small potential is believing we have to do all this alone. 60 00:04:32.360 --> 00:04:38.040 We've been taught to strip others out of our formula for success and happiness. 61 00:04:38.040 --> 00:04:44.640 When you choose to be more grateful and positive, that makes other people around you more grateful 62 00:04:44.640 --> 00:04:47.040 and positive as well. 63 00:04:47.040 --> 00:04:50.140 And this creates a virtuous cycle. 64 00:04:50.140 --> 00:04:55.360 The only way to achieve our big potential is to transform the pursuit of happiness and 65 00:04:55.360 --> 00:05:00.000 success from a solitary one to an interconnected one. 66 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:06.300 This is where the church comes in, and I know that some of you that are listening to this may not have a good church. 67 00:05:06.300 --> 00:05:09.100 I would challenge you to find a good church. 68 00:05:09.100 --> 00:05:14.800 Maybe you're in a situation where you can't go to church, but there may be a Bible study. 69 00:05:14.800 --> 00:05:19.800 There may be a place where you can come together and share your hearts with each other. 70 00:05:19.800 --> 00:05:22.900 And this is where we reach our big potential. 71 00:05:22.900 --> 00:05:31.500 This is the breakthrough that so many people are looking for, and they're trying to find it just on their own. 72 00:05:31.500 --> 00:05:39.300 And when I speak of blood-stained allies, I'm speaking of men, or if you're a woman, women in your life 73 00:05:39.300 --> 00:05:46.100 that can challenge you and encourage you and empower you to be more than you could ever be alone 74 00:05:46.100 --> 00:05:48.700 through their input and through their encouragement. 75 00:05:48.700 --> 00:05:50.600 I know marriage should be that way. 76 00:05:50.600 --> 00:05:56.400 Marriage, the number one blood-stained ally is Jesus and our spouse, 77 00:05:56.400 --> 00:06:02.400 because when we have a spouse that really knows us and understands us and we can be real with, 78 00:06:02.400 --> 00:06:11.200 that opens up the potential to have a blood-stained ally in your life that has amazing results in a marriage and in our life. 79 00:06:11.200 --> 00:06:13.900 And that's so key in everything. 80 00:06:13.900 --> 00:06:19.200 I know with Liz and I, I don't know what I would do without her encouragement to me. 81 00:06:19.200 --> 00:06:24.500 We got up early this morning and we went out to the fire pit in our backyard and we lit a fire 82 00:06:24.500 --> 00:06:31.200 and we both had our Bibles and our journals and we were spending time with the Lord and each other. 83 00:06:31.200 --> 00:06:36.400 And before long, we're talking about the things that God's teaching us and we're learning from each other. 84 00:06:36.400 --> 00:06:39.000 That's being blood-stained allies. 85 00:06:39.000 --> 00:06:41.600 And I think Liz would say that I'm her best friend. 86 00:06:41.600 --> 00:06:44.000 I know I would say that she's my best friend. 87 00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:48.500 But if you're not married, I want to challenge you to find some men in your life. 88 00:06:48.500 --> 00:06:56.500 If you're a man, if you're a woman, to have a couple of females in your life that you can be real with and vulnerable with, 89 00:06:56.500 --> 00:07:03.700 because you'd be surprised how many people think that their circumstances are so unique 90 00:07:03.700 --> 00:07:09.200 and nobody's struggling with the stuff that they struggle with, because that's a lie from Satan. 91 00:07:09.200 --> 00:07:10.900 That's a demonic lie. 92 00:07:10.900 --> 00:07:13.900 The same stuff you're going through, everybody else is going through. 93 00:07:13.900 --> 00:07:18.800 Now, it might be unique in some aspects or circumstances to you, 94 00:07:18.800 --> 00:07:24.000 but the struggle you're going through is common to all human beings. 95 00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:34.400 And to find some people in your life that you can be honest about that is huge in helping you become an overcomer in that area. 96 00:07:34.400 --> 00:07:39.800 Well, Paul, the Apostle Paul had Barnabas and Timothy and Silas. 97 00:07:39.800 --> 00:07:45.500 Jesus not only had his 12 disciples, but he also had Peter. 98 00:07:45.500 --> 00:07:49.000 He had James and John that were his close friends. 99 00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:56.700 So all through the Bible, all through the New Testament, we see men and we see women who have a close relationship with each other 100 00:07:56.700 --> 00:08:00.100 and that there's a bloodstained ally that they have. 101 00:08:00.100 --> 00:08:04.200 It's amazing to me even to see Jesus at the cross. 102 00:08:04.200 --> 00:08:07.000 He's expiring. He's about to die. 103 00:08:07.000 --> 00:08:15.300 He looks at Mary, his mother, and he presents her to John and John to Mary to take care of her. 104 00:08:15.300 --> 00:08:23.300 So here, Jesus, in his last hours of life, is recognizing Mary's going to need a friend. 105 00:08:23.300 --> 00:08:28.800 Mary's going to need a bloodstained ally and presented to Mary, John, John to her. 106 00:08:28.900 --> 00:08:38.400 And tradition tells us that John took care of her all the rest of his life, like a mother, and watched over her and guided her. 107 00:08:38.400 --> 00:08:44.900 In the next episode, I want to talk about five qualities, the five qualities of a bloodstained ally. 108 00:08:44.900 --> 00:08:51.100 I've alluded to some of them here, but we're going to look at what I think are the qualities, 109 00:08:51.100 --> 00:08:58.300 because not everybody that you have a relationship with in your life, even if they be Christian, just like you're a Christian, 110 00:08:58.300 --> 00:09:01.900 they're not going to be bloodstained allies for you. 111 00:09:01.900 --> 00:09:04.900 They're not open enough. They're not vulnerable enough. 112 00:09:04.900 --> 00:09:12.700 And they're even maybe even not mature enough to be able to handle a close, intimate relationship with you. 113 00:09:12.700 --> 00:09:20.200 So in the next episode, I want to talk about what I think are the five qualities of a bloodstained ally. 114 00:09:20.200 --> 00:09:26.300 So go to the next episode and let's talk about it together. 115 00:09:26.300 --> 00:09:30.700 This issue of what are the qualities that make a bloodstained ally?