Guys, how are you tonight?
David.
From work.
Okay.
Got it.
Now Carlos is with us Carlos are you in a place we usually do video if we can. So but if you're not in a place where you can do it that's fine.
Josh is on here. I don't know what our other guys are tonight.
Yeah, I can do it.
I just got home from work so that's right. No worries.
Give me a sec. All the guys are always in different states of being in
rest or unrest or whatever.
Transition.
Josh you there.
Yeah.
Josh is there he's like, Yeah, yeah.
Um,
I did exercise tonight.
And wanted to get one and everybody to start thinking about
some some things that they're feeling right now. Ryan's here but I wanted to kind of get everybody in the room. Before we kind of did that so everybody can do it together, that kind of thing so maybe we'll just wait a little bit longer
to get into that.
And right now, we can just do an update real quickly so how's everybody doing, what's everybody doing, what is going on.
What's new.
What's exciting.
What's not so exciting.
What is troubling, and so on and so forth. So, who wants to start.
I'll jump in if you guys don't mind.
Yeah, go ahead, Carlos. So it's my first time joining you guys so thank you for having me.
You know, it's been really interesting I am just now starting week three of the hard work.
I'm going to be pretty clear and just that way everyone kind of understands where I'm coming from but initially when I started this, I wasn't sure what to expect.
I honestly thought it was just kind of like, you know, almost like reading the self help book and be like okay cool here you go and then figure it out as you go type deal.
But I can say that I have just, there is a very underlining supernatural thing going on, I guess I would say, specifically I was looking at last week I had completed week number two, and as I was going through just kind of day to day stuff.
I just like for my own self recognize like I was at a pretty even keel place like I was, you know, I, I'm a little bit on edge you know just kind of naturally as a person with work and things like that.
And I was just like, man, you were guys at work or trying to either pushing boundaries to try to do and I was just, it was just kind of rolling off my shoulders you know not.
It wasn't triggering anything and I actually had felt the peace of the Lord for like all week that I hadn't really felt in a very long time.
And so things that would normally try to trigger me like I just wasn't triggered by any of the, the common stuff and so it was really interesting because I was just having dialogue between the Lord and I, as we were processing week two, and I felt good man I felt really, really good.
I felt that the Lord was speaking to me about, you know, some past things that I had to address and identify.
And, like I said, man, I was sleeping well I was resting.
Nothing, nothing really seemed to kind of bother me.
And then last night was a whole different story, and this is kind of where I'm like, trying to make sense of what all is kind of how it's unfolding.
I started reading week three I started my readings.
And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere man like yes last night. I mean, just to be open with you guys like I just started like breaking down, and I have not one it's not really in my person to kind of just do that.
And I just couldn't tell you what it was like I can't tell you that I was having some.
crazy emotional breakthrough or that the Holy Spirit was, you know, showing me something
super deep.
It was none of that.
And it just kind of opened the floodgates for me a little bit.
And it freaked me out, to be honest with you.
It freaked me out because I didn't understand what was happening or why I was feeling what
I was feeling and basically having to process.
Even today, I'm not really sure why.
I just know that I had a solid 30, 40 minutes of just kind of letting things kind of release
and let go, which, you know, I'm glad that I'm able to join because, you know, I know
it's the check-in and I really wouldn't, you know, I'm sure you guys will talk about it,
but kind of identify, you know, that process of what that looks like.
I'm not sure if I'm the only guy who's gone through it or whatever, but really identify
like, hey, okay, we recognize what that looks like or what's going on on your end.
But really putting more words to some of the things that I've experienced.
And I felt fine today, like it wasn't anything crazy.
But I remember as I was reading the book and going through the heart work, that was one
of the things that Jackie really mentioned.
It's like, yeah, you're going to feel stuff.
And, you know, initially I was like, cool, not a big deal.
And I think the Lord and the Holy Spirit started kind of unpacking some things, I guess.
And I remember last week, like on Friday, things started to pop up and I quickly sorted
away.
I quickly, I was like, I don't, I remember thinking to myself, like, I actually don't
have time to, to deal with this.
So I packed it away.
I was like, I packed it away.
I was like, I, you know, I, I felt it come up and I was like, I gotta, I don't have time
for this.
And then yesterday, like I said, last night just came around and, and just really felt
all the things.
And I really don't know what it was or have the, the words to describe, you know, like
I said, I didn't have one memory.
If anything, I can describe it as like a lot of, a lot of small little memories coming
together and basically just releasing a lot of grief, if that makes any sense to you guys.
I mean, I don't know.
And so that's where that, where I'm at really, really good stuff happening.
Like I said, I really, the Lord had asked me to, to let go of some things, you know,
to kind of not let go in terms of like, forget it, but like to give it to him.
I, I, I didn't, I didn't think that I had offense towards some of the things that happened
to me in the past.
You know, obviously being a Christian and walking out my, my life, forgiveness has always
been at the core, you know, at the cornerstone of that.
And so in my, in my head, I, you know, if anything came up where I felt offended, like,
Oh, I'm going to forgive them and just kind of leave it at that, you know?
But the Lord was like, man, you've been, yeah, like you've, you say that you've like, you've
forgiven and you do things, but you ruminate and you hold on to things.
And the Lord really showed me that it was like an offense that I was carrying and that
he was asking me to give that to him.
You know, and like, again, give it to him as like, Hey, you don't need to ruminate on
this.
Like, you don't need to sit here and think about all the what ifs and, you know, should
have done that and should have done this or, you know, all the things.
So that was really cool last week.
Just the Lord showing me like, essentially that I did have offense, but even though it
was under the definition of like, Oh, I'm not mad at that person or I'm not really angry
at this person, just holding on to the things that happened in itself, the circumstances
around that, you know, that's where the offense for me was.
And it was really cool.
I just handed it over to the Lord, you know, multiple things.
And like I said, I felt great, felt great.
And just yesterday was a little bit of a little bit of a swirl.
And, you know, that's why I jumped on here, because I saw it, you know, and I was like,
you know what?
I need to get with some guys who probably have been through it or at least have some
words to put into into what I was experiencing.
So that's awesome.
Thank you for sharing, Carlos.
Yeah.
We have no idea what you're talking about.
No, just that's that's great.
That's all I did.
Yeah.
No, we have no recollection of any of that.
Like, yeah, no, that's that's that's pretty, pretty standard.
For the course, for heart work in general.
and kind of the stuff that we've been working through
for on this call.
And it's exactly what this is all about,
where it comes out in different ways through our conversations
and some of the things that we do.
But yeah, essentially, I think it's really cool.
First of all, I just want to affirm that you're actually
getting some breakthrough, because whenever you have,
just when you have or have any kind of thing that's
not normal, that's usually shifting,
that's usually breaking through, that's usually transition,
that's usually indications of something is shifting
that needs to shift.
Sometimes when you're dealing with something that's messy,
say you're cleaning out a drain pipe,
that's all clogged up,
and you finally have that breakthrough moment
where it kind of breaks through.
Well, it does get messy when you're cleaning out crap
out of a drain pipe.
But eventually, as the breakthrough comes through,
then it gets clean and it gets better and so forth
and it operates better.
So I don't know if that's the best analogy,
but that's the thing that came to mind.
So it's just kind of like, when things shift and change,
I have a tendency to think that change is mostly good.
And on the surface, depending on, like I said,
if it's a drain pipe that gets messy,
on the surface, on the front end,
sometimes you're like, oh, this is not good.
But eventually I think that change overall is a good thing.
Like I enjoy change.
There are some people that are resistant to change, period.
There is such a thing in corporate America
called change management.
It's actually a whole department of how they can bring
about change on a broad level and how to systematize it
and prioritize and so forth and manage it in such a way
that it doesn't become very difficult.
So change though, as a general situation,
is, I think, always good, but it does leave an unsettling.
If it's not something that you're used to
in terms of emotionally processing
what was happening to you,
things that have been held up for a long time,
it can be pretty jarring.
It can be pretty like, whoa, this is amazing.
I didn't know that was there.
So that's a lot of what the heartwork experience is like.
And I want some of the guys to speak to that a little bit
and just respond to your sharing.
You guys got anything you'd like to share,
anything that came to mind while Carlos was sharing?
I felt like, Josh, I felt like you were leaning
in pretty good.
You had a smirk on your face.
I felt like you were like, yeah, I know, I feel you.
And it's always good to hear testimony.
It's always good to hear testimony
of what the Holy Spirit's doing in other people's lives.
Yeah.
I don't have a whole lot to share.
Okay.
But I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,
I enjoyed listening to Carlos' testimony
and how it's changing him,
because it's very much like listening to someone who,
and I'm not saying this is Carlos,
but, you know, when you see people who are,
who don't accept God and they resist Him,
and then one day they, they have an encounter with Him
and things begin to change in their life.
It's always wonderful to see that.
And it's encouraging and it's uplifting.
And for some, it's quite a refreshment to hear those things
because it's a reminder to us that, you know,
God's not dead.
There's a movie on that thing, but, you know.
Yeah.
No, I, I agree.
I love it when, like, I was talking about change,
but yeah, there's also that sort of like
another form of change is like redemption,
like when it finally hits
and when it finally like really comes into being.
So yeah, we want to, you know,
it's really refreshing to see that
when you've, when you finally had some breakthrough.
So Carlos, we want to definitely
acknowledge and champion and, and rejoice and, you know,
like, you know, be happy with you
that you've had this breakthrough
and that you're seeing some things
and, and don't be surprised about the emotions
that might come from that because that's all normal.
It just really is.
We're just not used to it, especially as men.
We're not used to what emotions may come that surprise us.
It's like we're used to the ones that we know and we're familiar with and that we have the ability to control. I mean, I can't imagine your situation, you know, why you would even need to control your emotions. You only work in like, you know, emergency services. So it's like, Hello, but you know, I get it. And so you're good at that. You're good at like, keeping it level, keeping it like, I don't got time for this. You know, I got to pack this in. I got stuff to do.
That's honorable, but at the same time, it doesn't serve your personhood in the sense of like, Hey, I've got to process some stuff. So it kind of wars against you, even, you know, what your career is. And so, but it sounds like what's really cool. I think about one of the things you said was that you were just going about your business and this just started happening to you.
And it wasn't because it just started happening. It was because a while back, you had given permission for this to happen to you because of the hardware process. It just didn't show up until there was a moment when you were ready, or there was a moment when you were, you know, like marinating on it. So it's just like, it's a good sauce. It's like, you know, it doesn't taste good at first, but once it marinates, once it sets in, once it like comes all together,
then it starts to be something and you're like, Whoa, this is pretty good. So I think that's kind of cool how it just came to you, but it really didn't come to you. It was a, it was a precipitation of something that you had given permission to a while back.
And that to me just now, like this, you saying that is like, Oh yeah, I did sign that permission slip. I did. Do you know what I mean? Like, and that's where I, again, I think the other, the other thing that my humanistic perspective tries to do is like, okay, obviously me kind of breaking down last night was like, and you're going to have to excuse me, but I was like, shit, I have a problem. Right.
It's like, okay, I have a problem. Now I got to fix it. And so that's where the human is like, now I got to fix this. Right. Like I have a problem now. And then I started to realize I was like, actually, man, I try to find like, well, what's the solution? Why was I doing this? Why did I, you know, and I was like, man, like, I, and I don't know. And I don't want to go spiral down that, you know, I remember part of the book was like, man, don't go digging.
Like, don't go trying to like, figure out why or who or what or whatever. But in my mind, I was just like, Hey, I got to go fix this. Like, I got to, I got to figure this out. And I think that was the other part of the struggle where I was like, well, now what do I do if I don't go fix this? Or if I can't if I'm not supposed to go dig, then do I just sit here with it? And do I just kind of like, like, man, it was I, you know, I'm slightly embarrassed by it, to be honest with you.
But it was some ugly crime. Like, it wasn't like, a tear where you're like, Oh, cool. Everything's fine. Like, no, it was like, here in my living room. And I, you know, I would, if anybody was in here, I would have been like, completely embarrassed by it. And so that that's where I was struggling with, with some of that stuff is like, man, how do I, how do I, you know, you want to fix it? Right. And I think that's human nature. But, you know, I, I didn't know what to do with it.
I didn't know what to do with it. Basically, I yeah, I can sit with I can sit with the emotion. But, you know, it's like, cool, I can sit here. But what's the solution? Like, how do I fix this? Obviously, I'm dealing with a bunch of stuff. How do I fix it? And I think, as men, you know, everyone has that kind of hardwired and like, okay, hey, there's a problem fix it. Like, how do you fix it? And so I just, and I was kind of left with no real solution. You know, I prayed and I spent time with the Lord and, and trying to figure it out.
But I really kind of let my foot off the gas in terms of like, hey, I'm going to go fix this right now. Because frankly, I don't have the solution. I don't know, because I couldn't identify what was when I was experiencing. So I just kind of let it go. And again, that's why I was just like, I looked, I was like, when's this heart check in? I was like, oh, it's today. So I'm glad that I was able to make it. Like I said, I just, I want a little bit more context to help me.
Like, hey, man, like, if somebody experienced what I experienced yesterday, then at least I know that I'm in the right track. And I'm not just making this up and having some kind of weird break. You know what I mean? Like,
Oh, no. So like, so here's the thing, um, you know, just, just to sort of like reset a little bit, you know, um, the digging part is, um, oh, I had this breakthrough. I had this connection on this emotion, or I had this trauma. So let me go dig for more instances or for more trauma or for more stuff. So that's the digging part. You are supposed to make connections.
actions, but then again, not try to go through and try to, you
know, tear the room apart and trying to find all the
connections that are supposed to be, it's supposed to sort of
like just come to you. So that's the Holy Spirit's job is to
bring these things to you over a period of time. Number one, so
they're manageable. And number two, because he just has a way
of presenting things that are priority, and things are in a
process so that it is a process, but as a spirit led
process, it's not like, oh, you have a problem. Most of what we
have been raised with, especially again, as men is,
yeah, you do have a problem, and you better go fix it. So the
pressure is on. In this instance, in this process, the
pressure is completely off. So it's just always, it's always
grace, it's always mercy. It's always an invitation coming into
sonship. So it's not a, you know, it's, I like to use this
analogy, it's kind of like, God's the kind of father that
comes into your room gives you a firm direction that says, Hey,
this room's a mess, get it cleaned up. And, but then walks
in the doorway, keeps the light on, and helps you clean it up,
you know, shows you some things through the process versus
I kind of feel like what most people are used to is a father
who would come in and say, not that your father did this, but
I'm just saying a father who would come in and go, this
room's a mess, clean it up, slam the door and almost shut off the
lights, which doesn't help at all. Because it's like, well,
now what do I do, you know, and so two different, two different
scenarios are way to handle it. But same situation, still a
mess, still needs attention, that kind of thing. So yeah,
glad that you're going through that and hang with us. And I
think that we'll get some we'll get some good stuff. Anybody
else have something they want to on their heart and their mind
they want to respond to?
Can I ask Carlos a question? Yeah. Yeah, Carlos. So just just
to help me understand a little bit. Were you processing through
some, some particular memories? Or is this just something that
came over you? Like, did you have a memory that hurt in your
head? Or was this just did this just come over you as you were
sitting or reading or something?
Yeah, no, it was, I was just reading, like, I wasn't
ruminating on like, any specific thought or memory. And I think
that's why I kind of struggled with it. I think if I had said,
Hey, like I, if I were to, if I were able to correlate, I'm
crying, or I'm breaking down, because I remember this memory
that really hurt me, then I kind of feel more at peace,
because I can tie it back to like, oh, this is why it's
happening, versus not really having anything heavy or
specific that I'm aware of happened. And that's kind of
what I kind of experienced yesterday was there wasn't
anything specific. It just kind of came. And then I was reading,
I was reading week three, the chapters. And so in the middle
of it, I just remember stopping, and just kind of
praying, which, you know, coincidental or not, it was, I
think, the chapter of, like unboxing or whatever, kind of
the hard stuff. But there wasn't anything specific. And I think
that's where I found the hardest.
Like, where did this come from?
Yeah, this is and then all of a sudden, as I'm like, actively
going and processing these, I do remember having a couple of
memories pop up. But they weren't like, you know, maybe
I'm saying this now, but like, I didn't feel like those things
were necessarily correlated, or, or at least the amount of grief
that I was experiencing correlated to that one specific
memory, if that makes sense.
Right, right.
I think that's a really cool Holy Spirit encounter. Honestly,
I mean, it sounds it's exciting. Not to say I'm not a little
jealous. That's really cool. So God's working.
That's awesome. Well, let's guys, one of the things I wanted
to do tonight, and like I said, I wish we had had more guys on
here. But um, but we can go ahead and do this and guys can
get in recording too. And we may even come back to it. But is
dealing with, you know, these feelings and emotions. We've had
several instances this last week. Jackie's had some coaching
opportunities, and I've had some different encounters. Not
anything one one thing or another, but just some this
topic has come up. And that is the top
of emotions and feelings, and that's the thing,
it's certainly an area that I think guys are,
there's a lot of confusion in this area,
especially for guys, I think.
One of the things that Jackie was telling me,
and she was actually telling, I think,
three or four different clients this week,
and they were all men, and she mentioned this,
and that was that anger is probably the one emotion,
not saying it's the only, but it's probably
the one emotion that men, particularly,
are most familiar with on a lot of different levels.
It's kind of like, if you're frustrated, you get angry.
If you're sad, you get angry.
If something challenging happens to you, you get angry.
It's just like, it's funny, because it's almost
like a default, in a way, sometimes.
Now, it's not that way every time,
but I think it's just funny how there's a lot of men
that process and go to the anger emotion,
and there's obviously different levels
of these emotions, right?
You can get a little bit more descriptive with like,
well, what kind of anger is it, or are you truly
just enraged, anger?
Well, no, no, I'm not really enraged, anger.
I'm just frustrated, or I'm really serious and intense,
or whatever it is, and I think the reason why that is
is because for a lot of men growing up,
anger or frustration or getting mad is about
the only emotion that was allowed,
in terms of what is manly, what is appropriate,
what is tolerable, what is expected.
When you go out onto the field of competition,
what is one of the things that happens?
Somebody gets aggressive, angry,
so it's sort of a default, but quite honestly,
there are a ton of other emotions
that I think lots of times we fail to process
because we oversimplify, I think, our feelings.
Hey, Rob, thanks for joining us.
You look like you're in a really crazy, cool place.
You're muted still.
Just a courtyard, nothing fancy.
Courtyard Marriott Hotel.
Oh, courtyard, oh.
Yeah.
Cool courtyard at Courtyard Marriott Hotel, got it.
Yeah.
Cool deal.
So anyway, so what I wanted to do is
I wanted to ask you guys to identify some emotions,
some feelings, I want you to feel,
I want you to identify as descriptively as possibly,
like as unique of a word as you can
to describe the emotion that you have right now
in this moment on the phone, or on this call,
depending on whether it's affected by this call,
whether you came into this with this emotion,
whatever, just like right now,
what is your feeling, what is your emotion?
Identify the emotion that you have right now
while we're on this call,
and I'll just give you a minute to sort of think about it,
think of a good descriptive word.
Anybody know right now off the top of their head
what's a good word that they feel?
I do, I got three emotions I'm feeling.
Just to be all, I'm feeling content
with a combination of, I think,
maybe a little of anxiety because of tiredness.
Okay.
Let's not concentrate on why,
let's just concentrate on what the emotion is,
but thank you, yeah, that's good.
Okay, content.
So contentment and anxiety.
Okay.
And who else, anybody, a word?
I'd say excitement.
Excitement, okay.
Joyful and grateful.
Joyful and grateful, okay.
Okay.
Who else?
Some frustration and a little bit of shame.
Chris, frustration and shame, all right.
Shame and stuck.
Shame and stuck, okay.
Josh.
At ease.
Okay.
And I'll do mine, I'm just, I gotta, I've been trying to, I've been working so hard
to try to feel like what my emotion is.
I feel I'm a little under pressure right now.
So I don't know if that's quite an emotion, but I have the feeling of like, I've got a
lot to do.
So I don't know what word that describes that.
So I'm probably not even doing this exercise myself very well, but I'm just trying to figure
out.
So I feel, I feel there's a lot of things going on.
So pressured.
David, when you feel that pressure, do you internalize that as a personally negative
thing?
Because I heard a really interesting lecture once just recently about the idea that stress
is behind a negative quality, but in fact, it doesn't have to be, it becomes negative
because you make it negative.
Do you like internalize that as I'm feeling, or is that just external?
Both.
Not right now, both, but I have processed it both ways.
So right now it's just an inordinately busy time and I've got a lot to do before a deadline.
And it's not necessarily the deadline for the project.
It's just that, you know, my daughter's getting married next week.
I've got a bunch of people coming to the house and there's a lot of things that need to be
done before that.
But before the, the, the, the hub, what is it?
The, the excitement of the wedding and all that for the week pre preceding the wedding,
I have to get a bunch of stuff that I have to get done before that week.
So I've got like, it's all piling up and it's all like coming like, oh, I've been anticipating
this for a month now.
And I'm like, okay, and I've been doing pretty good.
And I think I'm on course.
So, and I think I've gotten managed and I'm not completely overwhelmed.
If I were completely overwhelmed, I would be feeling sort of like, oh my gosh, I'm failing.
I'm not going to do this.
And I, that now I see it, like I'm forecasting, I'm not going to get this done.
So at least I have more time now.
I feel like I can actually, actually accomplish it.
But I am pressed for like, okay, I've got to execute, execute, execute.
So that's kind of where I'm at.
So I was shown this and you guys probably might have seen this before.
Something that's called a feeling wheel and I'll share my screen here.
Anybody ever seen what's called a feeling wheel?
Yeah, Rob, I'm not surprised.
And you've done a lot of work.
But anybody, anybody else seen the feeling wheel before?
There's several different versions of it and I'll share my screen to show you what this
is.
Josh has seen it.
Okay, cool.
Hey, when you're done sharing, I also want to share an app that I use.
Yes, please.
When you're done.
Okay.
So the feeling wheel is a graphic that shows, everybody see this on their screen?
Everybody see it?
Got it.
I promise I won't leave this up like I did the umbrella thing a few weeks ago and just
annoy the hell out of everybody.
So try not to do that.
The feeling wheel though, this, what this does is it helps us to sort of identify emotions
and kind of where they're categorized and kind of how they relate to each other.
And then begin to give us some more language instead of just like simple, like, I'm mad,
you know, or I'm this or that.
To try to descriptively come to a better understanding of what it is we're actually feeling.
And then the next step would be to, after you have identified what emotion you're having
and feelings that you're having, try to connect that with something that's going on in your
life or connect that with a habit or behavior or something that, you know, right now that
you're trying to either like, that you don't know that needs to be worked on or something
that needs to like in heart work, we're typically not dealing with traumatic events right now,
even though they might, you might be going through something personally during heart
work, but we're trying to identify.
trauma points in the past, really more so, to try to connect pain points to that,
understand what happened, and then process that with Holy Spirit's help, and then release it
through the process of forgiveness, all right? But this just helps us to understand some of
the relationship. The top half of the circle are typically negative emotions,
and the bottom half of the circle are typically associated with positive emotions,
and what's interesting, though, is that sometimes we can have emotions, sometimes we think, oh,
I'm having a good day, or I'm having a bad day, right? I'm having a good emotion, or I'm having
a bad emotion, right? And so we don't understand sometimes, though, that we can actually have
good emotions and bad emotions at the same time. I think what's kind of interesting,
the very first person that said what their emotion was, is contentment and anxiety,
and I was like, oh, that's kind of weird. How can you be content and anxious at the same time?
That doesn't seem like it goes together. It doesn't seem like it's going to be impossible,
but yet here's Ryan, who's, I don't know, somehow we lost Ryan, but Ryan was like, I'm content,
but I also feel anxious, and so if you look on the chart there, you see anxious,
you find the word anxious, and it is in sort of the, it's in the middle circle,
so the way this is arranged is the outside circle are emotions that are less intense.
The middle is intense, and the inner circle is the most intense of these versions of these
emotions. Make sense? And so anxiousness is right in the middle there, and so it's an intense
emotion. It's not less intense. It's not super over intense, but it is related to being scared.
It's related to insecurity, and you can see all the other words that are associated in this
category of emotion, and then can somebody, let's see if contentment is on here anywhere,
something that's like it. Yeah, content actually is on there. It's on the exact opposite side
in the peaceful category, so it's very odd that someone could feel
peaceful and scared at the same time, right?
So it just shows you the relationship, and I think when Ryan was saying that, you know,
he felt like the reason he was feeling anxious because it was maybe lack of sleep,
and I don't know whether that's just a, I just feel irritable because of lack of sleep,
or I am anxious because I have a sleep issue sometimes, and sometimes if I don't get sleep,
I might be scared that I might not continue to get sleep. I know that's a bigger problem,
but I've known people like that who struggle with sleep, and they're like, oh, I had a restless
night last night. Most people would like, oh, it's no big deal. I'll just sleep tonight,
or I'll just take a nap or whatever, but some people have an anxiousness that's attached to
that because they have sleep issues, and they've gone through maybe a season of time where it was
sleeplessness, and then they're scared that just one night of a bad, really restless night may be
the first night of a long series of restless nights for whatever reason, and so that can,
you know, drudge up its own level of anxiousness and go through that situation. So anyway,
you can see all the associations that we're dealing with. So anybody seeing anything on
this chart that sort of pops out to them or makes sense to them in terms of like, oh, I wondered
where this would kind of, my emotion would kind of lie, or do you want to describe your emotion
a little bit more now that you've seen this chart? Anybody? Nobody. I mean, I could share
just a little. I mean, I think for me, I don't know, I like the description. Yeah, it's kind of
fun seeing the contentment with the anxiousness on the exact opposite, but it's just like, oh,
I am fully content, you know, and relax, that peaceful, but there's also, and mine was more
like the tiredness was in sleep, but it was also like having multiple things to do,
that there's the anxiousness because I have another meds group I leave right after this.
So it's just like, all right, just like I'm peaceful.
but yet at the same time, oh, I got stuff to do.
But it's like.
Okay.
I get it.
Anybody else?
Anybody surprised to see that the emotion
that they declared when we were going through everybody,
what other emotions that it's connected to?
Anybody surprised?
Yeah, ashamed and stupid.
It was surprising, but it makes sense.
Does ashamed, does it surprise you that shame
or being ashamed is connected with sadness?
Sadness.
I don't see that.
Ashamed is right next to sad.
Oh, okay.
I was like in the other direction.
Yeah.
Oh, you were saying like, you were looking out like,
yeah, okay.
Oh, I see.
No, that makes sense.
Okay.
Frustration, Chris was talking about being frustrated
and shame, so he said some shame.
Trying to figure out where frustration is on the mad side
and a little bit of shame is on the sad side.
So it's interesting that frustration
is sort of the gateway or entryway to anger
and anger into like being completely mad.
And I don't know if that's the English word
of like definition of like, oh, oh brother,
yeah, completely mad.
Like crazy, like psycho, like almost, you know.
Like inside out too.
Huh?
Inside out too.
Oh yeah.
I've not seen that movie yet.
So we're about to see that.
I think probably sometime in the near future.
So good for this David, so good.
I wanted to connect you to this chart
because I think maybe sometimes
it could help you process some things.
I don't have the overlay,
but one thing I just wanna make in terms of a comparison
to sort of a scriptural or a biblical version of this
that's similar.
It's not emotions, but it's fruits of the spirit
and works of the flesh.
I don't know if you've ever taken the time to study this,
but there's a direct correlation
between fruits of the spirit and works of the flesh.
There are correlations between how habits and behaviors
precipitate into works of the flesh
and study what those are
versus exhibiting fruits of the spirit.
We talk about in heart work in our community a lot
that we are not to be gift inspectors,
but we are to be fruit inspectors.
So when we're looking at people like,
this person has these things
and they have these qualities and so forth
and they do these things,
but they're all associated with who they are
and what they do for like a living
or the skill set that they have
and the things that they can quote bring to the table,
or the things that you look at.
Like lots of times women do this with men
in their church affiliation.
Oh, he's a good man.
He goes to church.
He raises his hand in church.
He even sings a little bit.
So he's like going through the rudiments
of looking like he's like a real deep,
spiritual, good guy, right?
But we've often found, it's not always the case,
but we found this a lot.
It's a very common behavior
where there's a lot of guys especially
that are in church that look the part,
but don't actually have the fruit.
There's a lot of even, I dare I say,
this is kind of getting into controversial topics,
but there's a lot of even Christian people
and Christian leaders, if you will,
that have a lot of things that they can tell
in terms of their abilities, their gifts, their skill set,
but they lack the character, they lack the fruit of it.
And scripture teaches us
that we should be looking at fruit.
We should be inspectors of fruit, not inspectors of gifts.
Gifts are something that are given to us.
We decide what to do with those gifts,
but the fruit is the stuff that remains.
Does that make sense?
So it's really interesting that you can look at,
you can do this sort of similar study
and comparing fruits of the spirit
versus works of the flesh.
And there's even a Christian counselor that's from Alaska
that he's done Christian counseling with individuals
and processing them through fruits of the spirit
and works of the flesh,
and has identified literal disease,
almost every disease associated directly
with certain fruits of the spirit and works of the flesh.
So where you would manifest a fruit of the spirit
that would overcome and bring healing
in direct correlation against a disease
that was tied to a work of the flesh.
And he actually has statistics.
He says, in the number of instances
where somebody has come to me and says,
I have this condition, or I have this disease,
I literally process them through the program
and I walk them through deliverance prayers
and deliverance counseling,
and we manifest the fruits of the spirit
in direct opposition and correlation to,
he says, in the number of instances
where this disease is present,
he knows that this work of the flesh is the basis of it.
So they deal with that work of the flesh,
and so many, and he has statistics,
that 78% of the time people get healed
when we work through that methodology.
And it's amazing, it's fascinating.
So interesting stuff if you want to continue to study that.
And again, I'm not an expert in any of this,
but I'm just trying to share this with you
as a resource to kind of process some things.
So if you want to download the Feeling Wheel,
it's very easy, you can find it on the internet.
This one's from the Gottman Institute,
and thought it would just kind of share that with you
to help you, as men, process through some of your emotions
to the point where you can just,
not just like, I'm just angry, I'm just mad, I'm just angry.
Like, okay, let's get a little bit more specific about that.
Like, what are you angry, you know, are you jealous?
Are you skeptical?
Are you irritated?
You know, well, no, I'm really anxious.
Oh, well, that's not actually anger and mad,
that's actually a form of being scared.
You know what I'm saying?
So they're like, oh, wait a minute, like scared?
What do you mean?
I'm not scared.
Well, yeah, you just said you were anxious.
Oh, that's a form of being scared.
Oh, whoa, wait a minute, I didn't know that.
I thought that was like, I don't know,
whatever, something else.
So this kind of helps you to process
and maybe make some connection points
to the emotions that you're feeling
and the circumstances that you want to start addressing.
All right?
Go ahead and share there, Rob, what you wanted to share,
because I'm interested to know
a resource that you have for us.
Sure, thanks for, I've used the feelings wheel,
but I haven't looked at the interplay between them.
So that was a really helpful conversation
to think more about.
So real quick, last week I shared with you
that emotional maturity has been a big part of my journey.
And I feel like I had a lot of catching up to do
in the last five or six years.
So I was having a really hard time last September
and I was at a conference with a friend who said,
hey, have you tried the How We Feel app?
Never heard of it.
So long and short of it is I downloaded it.
It's still beneficial for me today.
I don't know if this is helpful to even show on the screen,
but I'm going to try it.
Okay, let me stop sharing.
Oh, no, I'm just showing on my screen.
Oh, okay, you guys, yeah, got it.
So four categories, and they're ranked
by high unpleasant energy, high pleasant energy,
low unpleasant, low pleasant.
So if I just click on red,
and I was stuck in an airport today with a delay,
and so I went to red, which was high unpleasant,
and I picked the word peeved.
But if you see, you've got all these little red words,
emotions, very specific, back to David's point,
that allow you to just pick a word,
it's like, oh, that's kind of what I'm feeling.
It gives you a quick space to do a quick diary,
and then you hit enter, and then what the app does,
it's free, by the way, it actually tracks that,
so you can go back over the course of a week or a month
and say, what are the patterns?
These colors start to pop, right?
Green, and you get to say, oh, gosh,
every Monday I show up as, or I feel.
Super helpful for me, if it's helpful for you guys, great.
up to remind me twice a day. So it alerts me twice a day to check in. Um, so whatever I'm
doing in the moment, I try to just pause and say, yeah, what checking with myself first,
what am I feeling? And then, uh, and then just try to, all that for me is designed to just
increase my emotional maturity and self-awareness. So if it's helpful for you, great, uh, free,
it's called how we feel. I love that. Yeah. That's pretty awesome. I can see how that would
be very beneficial. Um, I think the reason this topic came up is because, um, I think men,
especially, um, are just, we're just not, I don't want to say we're not sophisticated. I'm just
saying we're just, we're just not in the habit and put it that way. So not in the habit of really
taking the inventory of our emotions in that way. And then trying to correlate things to our
behavior. And, um, but the honest thing is, is that we feel all these emotions,
you know, I'm saying we feel all of the, the whole wheel, you know, we feel that we feel the
entire spectrum of emotion. We just don't process it and don't identify it with what's going on in
our life. And these are the things that, um, like women like overdue in spades, right? So it's like,
we, it's like, we're better together because it helps us to balance. But these are the things
that like, you know, women are looking for in men to be like more connected with their emotions.
And so if you're doing this inventory and you're connecting, um, with certain patterns in your life,
then you can probably actually start addressing some of the things that you're frustrated with,
because you're like, then it becomes more of a, like, oh, I can actually do something about this
rather than just like, I'm just feeling all kind of whatever. And I don't know why, like, that's
just like, that's like the worst. Right. So, um, and then it just escalates. So like we manage it
for, you know, a time, like Carlos was saying, he's a firefighter and a medic. And he's just
like, yeah, I don't got time for that. So I packed that away for another day. And so that's what we
do day after day after day, especially as men, lots of times, because we're taking care of
business, we're taking care of this. We got to do that. We got a long list of things we got to
accomplish and do, and we just don't have time for the emotion. But I think this might be a
helpful way for us to be able to use some of these tools to really take an inventory
of our emotions and a history. And it sounds like it's really simple with that app. That's
really cool. Thank you for sharing that, Rob. And then being able to, to connect
certain date parts or certain times or certain trends in behavior and analyze like, oh, why do
I, like you said, like, why do I show up on Mondays angry? You know, what's happening on Sunday night
or what's happening Monday morning? Is it just because it's Monday morning or what's happening
or did I, do I always encounter this person, you know, the day before, because of your habit of
what you do on Sundays and that's creating this, you know, this problem area. So that can be very,
very helpful. And I can see that that's really cool. So maybe we take an opportunity to download
the app and work with it for a week and see what happens. We can talk about it next time.
But thank you for sharing that. And I think what we need to do too, is just at the very least,
start paying attention to our emotions. Start paying attention to when things happen.
I love the fact that Carlos started off with tonight was he having the breakthrough
in his heart work. And the most thing that stood out to me was that it came to him.
It wasn't like he was trying to uncover. He's like, look, I was just minding my own business.
I was just trying to read. I was just trying to do the work. You know, I was just trying to be a
good guy and read this book that I'm supposed to read. And all of a sudden I get hit with this
flood of emotion. I'm like, oh, okay, that's cool. Because that's kind of the way it's supposed to
happen. Or that's kind of like the way we've seen this process work out, is as it comes to you.
So as emotions and things come to you, let's just practice being aware of those and practice
taking a little bit of an inventory. And maybe we can make some connections along the way to do that.
Sound good, guys?
Amen. We lost somebody, but we'll just pray out and continue on and just bless
you guys for a better week. Father God, we do thank you, Lord, for this time together.
Thank you, Lord, for these men. We thank you, Lord, for Carlos's breakthrough. Thank you,
Lord, the sharing with that. Thank you, Lord, for all the guys that shared their thoughts,
their feelings, their insights, their thoughts, their thoughts, their thoughts,
Securities their their secrets even and we just bless that lord. We bless the fact that
You've given us a community and a space
to be able to just um
Be with one another share with one another be transparent and be open
and honest
And we thank you for what you're doing in each one of our lives
Because I know that you have a plan for us. I know that you have great things for each one of us
and
Lord break us through break us through to the next level so that we just don't uh stagnant and we don't uh,
Just stay where we're at. We thank you lord for change
We thank you for the change of holy spirit in jesus name
Amen, and amen
All right guys god bless have a great week
Thanks for sharing everybody
Thanks