Hello, welcome, everyone. Welcome, welcome. Good night. Good night, not over. As in, it's
a good night. I totally said that funny. What I want you all to do for me, just to get us
started, let's put where you're joining from in the chat. Because one of the questions
we get all the time is, I don't know who lives near me that I can connect with. So here's your
chance. It's going to go fast. So if you want to look for somebody in your area as it's coming
in there, reach out to them. Try not to get distracted during heart work tonight, please.
But this at least gives you an idea of somebody that you can reach out to in your area.
For those of you that don't know, because some of you may not have heard this already,
Spiritmate Match intake form is live. You're going to find the link to complete that in the
app. Okay, so whether you're the men's group or the women's phase three, you're going to go to
the last year single app. And you're going to go into your group and you're going to click on the
resources tab. And the link for that is already there. And the link for the affiliate sign up,
if you're interested in doing that, is also there. That wasn't working a little bit ago,
but we've gotten it fixed. It was just a little bug. So it's working. Y'all sometimes, you know,
there's just little glitches that that happens. So thanks for letting us know. I don't remember
who's who let us know, but thank you for that. And we've gotten that fixed. Be praying for the
movement. Be praying for this because it's really important as we're working on all these things for
people to fill the forms out. Okay, so we can't do shuffles and fun events. If people aren't filling
the form out. All right. So pray, pray, pray that on both sides, that's showing up on both sides.
We have a lot of people that have filled it out. So if you have, thank you. Thank you for filling
that out. But that's how we're going to get you all together. So we did make some schedule shifts
in September, if you didn't notice already. So next Thursday, we're either going to do
HeartConnect or a fun game night. We're deciding right now. So that's going to be a lot of fun.
So hope you'll join us for that. And then we're going to do the prophetic processing
path session on Tuesday. That's going to be the 24th. Y'all, we're still going to do a shuffle.
So don't panic. We're still going to do spirit match shuffle, but we have to have enough people
to make that happen in the system. So we're going to do that hopefully sometime in October.
So we're just pushing it back a month, but be praying for us to make that all happen as well.
All right, let me pray and get us started for tonight. I have a lot of good stuff planned.
And just to kind of let you know, if you've never been on an advanced heartwork session,
all of you hopefully have been through heartwork. But the way we do it is kind of like when we do
love seats, but it's going to be a heartwork seat. So I'm going to do some coaching and
some teaching on some stuff God has shown me today to release to you all. And then I'm going to open
it up and some people can get into the seat and I'll coach you specifically on what your question
is about. And then we'll see how that goes. And then I have additional content and we'll do the
same thing again. All right. Father, thank you so much for everyone that's here. God, thank you
that you are the God of the breakthrough. So many times, Lord, we can feel stuck. Lord,
we face challenges. We face situations and trials. Sometimes those things
are really happening in the world, but sometimes those things are happening within
and it's affecting things in our physical realm. So Lord, I pray that you would heal
us within tonight in a fresh way. Help us to hear what your spirit is saying louder than any voice
of the enemy. Thank you, God, that you would take us to an upgrade in our revelation and understanding
that we would hear from heaven tonight for each one of our own personal situations, God, that you
would bring your light into every dark area and help us to see truth, help us to understand.
We know that where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom, there is liberty. So we're
asking Holy Spirit, we're thanking you for being here. We thank you for bringing revelation, truth,
manna, fresh manna from heaven. We can't do this apart from you, Father. You are the vine,
we're the branches. So even tonight, as I try to convey what you were showing me today,
I pray that you'll help it to come through exactly the way that they need to hear it
tonight so that they can step further into freedom and the fullness of who you originally
created them to be long before trauma or wounds ever entered their life. We just thank you in
advance for all these things in Jesus name. All right, y'all. So the Lord told me this morning,
this is exactly how he said it, he said to go after identity. So at some point tonight,
we're going to be doing that. I have some things to kind of prep us before we go there.
Y'all might've heard bits and pieces of this
along your heartwork journey,
but I think some of it will also be new
as we're gonna talk a little bit about
the lie of insignificance.
Yeah, I just felt that as I said it.
The lie of insignificance.
That's exactly what I was meditating on this morning,
something I was reading,
and that's when I heard the Lord say,
go after identity.
Because I was praying like,
what did he want us to talk about tonight?
What did he want us to touch on?
And so that's what we're gonna lean into.
But first, before we go there,
I wanna prepare your heart for some other things in advance.
Y'all, if you remember from the heartwork
that our heart is our broken heart, not our healed heart,
but any brokenness in our heart
can cause our heart to be what?
Three things, the liar, the puzzle, and the pretender.
So there are parts, even as we've gone through heart healing
we're a little bit more whole than we were
before we came into the program.
Hopefully we go on our journey.
Some of y'all start dating and it's like, no holds barred.
Everything kind of went out the window for some of you all.
Love you, but it's true.
And you forget what you learned,
not fully, but maybe temporarily.
And why is that?
Well, because even my own life,
when I look back,
it's because I didn't fully know my identity yet.
And so every time something happened
that kind of triggered me or caused fear or whatever,
it was like my identity kind of was off kilter
and everything else would get chaotic feeling.
And so the Lord wants you to know tonight,
if that's you, that you're not alone
and you can and will make it through this.
And you can be set free from that cycle too.
Attachment styles obviously are, they play a key,
they do, they play a part in our journey,
but the more our heart heals,
the more secure we become in the Father's love,
the less the anxious or avoidant plays a role.
Again, I'm not saying it won't still play a part at times.
I think we all battle that stuff.
But when I think back,
I used to struggle with the anxious attachment.
When I think back to like how I used to feel
and how I felt when I was dating Brian,
and there were moments where I felt that anxiousness
wanting to creep in.
And I remember the Lord just saying, don't go there.
Don't go there, because that's not truth.
And so I wanna encourage you all,
when you feel that stuff
or even the avoidant trying to kick in,
the people that are anxious, don't go there.
I hope you remember this when you feel that anxiousness,
just to press pause and say, Lord, is this feeling accurate?
Or am I allowing myself to go down a road
that's not real at all?
And then those that are avoided,
that you would say, Lord, help me to stay in connection.
Stay in the game and don't avoid.
All right, Jeremiah 79 says,
the heart is deceitful above all things
and desperately wicked who can know it.
Am I saying that our hearts can't get rid of this stuff?
No, but I think it's important for us to remember
that our hearts deceive us.
Our hearts can deceive us.
The brokenness is what I'm talking about.
Again, not our healed hearts.
These are the parts of our hearts
that are still needing God's touch,
His revelation, His love.
Our hearts are highly impressionable.
I want you to think, as I was thinking about it,
right before I even jumped on, in our day and age,
media is like bigger than ever.
I don't know for those of you
that may not do marketing or advertising,
you might not know this,
but what's really big is you look at all kinds of data.
And one of the data points is impression served.
That's like a big phrase in the marketing world now.
Impression served means that it can,
like, and I might get this a little wrong, okay?
So you marketing gurus that know even more than me,
please don't correct me, just go with me on this.
But basically it's just potentially
somebody could have seen it or they did see it.
And so when I started thinking about that,
our hearts are highly impressionable.
I started thinking about the fact
of how many thoughts cross our hearts
and our minds every day
and how those thoughts are creating impressions.
You know, those neuropathways.
But, you know, so many times we don't even realize
how many impressions we see of media even ever.
every single day that are also feeding
right into that stuff as well.
Being impressionable is,
it actually means capable of being easily impressed.
Mark made by pressure.
So any amount of pressure, if you can imagine,
think of even in the last week,
a situation that you went through where you felt stressed.
Okay?
Any level of stress.
It could be a little stress or a lot of stress.
What was happening in your heart,
in your mind in that moment?
And what were the impressions that were being made?
Were they positive?
Were they negative?
Were they fear-driven?
Were they centered in truth?
Like really ask the Lord to show you
what you were rooted in in that moment.
Proverbs 4.23 says,
"'Keep your heart with all visions
"'for from it flows the springs of life.'"
To be vigilant about something is to be alertly watchful
as to avoid danger.
So if we are being alert,
like all the time, we're always watching.
And again, y'all, this isn't about perfection, y'all.
We're gonna all make mistakes.
I make mistakes too.
And I'm like down the road and I'm like, wait a minute.
I was driving that car way too fast and way too far
and not even thinking about where that was leading me
for a little bit there.
And so when I recognize that, I'm like,
let me put the car in reverse
and look at this a little bit different
through a different lens.
And typically I don't want my lens.
I want the lens of the Father.
Father, what are you saying?
What is heaven saying?
What am I not seeing or hearing through a healed heart?
What am I, how am I looking at this through brokenness
or believing that someone is thinking something
that they're probably never even thinking?
Y'all, someone, that's a word for someone tonight.
Some of y'all get so worked up,
even about these people you're talking to on apps
and you have this whole scheme in your mind
that's unfolding and it's not even happening.
And that is a signal that your heart needs healing.
If that's something that happens, again, there's no shame.
That's why I'm talking about this.
There's no shame, but I want you to not just stay there.
I wanna encourage you to lean into
what is God trying to show you through it
so that you don't stay in that place.
Trauma that happened to us isn't what stops us
from living an amazing life,
but it's the lies we believe as a result of the trauma.
Again, I'm gonna repeat some information
y'all heard a while ago,
but we need a revisit on this stuff.
Lies like, and I'm gonna bring in the insignificance.
This is the first one.
Maybe some of you are hearing lies
like you are insignificant
and it might not come out exactly that way.
So I wrote down what insignificant actually means.
Not significant, lacking meaning,
not worth considering, unimportant.
I know I've read some posts from you all
that have actually said, I didn't even respond to that guy
because I thought he was too good for me.
So guess what, ladies and gentlemen,
if we think like that, somewhere underneath the surface,
we struggle with insignificance, a low self worth.
Okay, so maybe your lie is you don't matter.
Maybe your lie is you should be seen and not heard.
You're not enough.
Your opinion doesn't matter.
You're always going to have to beg.
If they really knew me and knew my whole story,
they wouldn't fill in the blank,
accept me, love me, choose me.
What are the lies that you have been believing?
So I wanna start to see in the chat.
And maybe it's not any of the ones I said.
If there's something else coming up in your spirit,
I wanna start to see
what is it that you all are struggling with?
Let's just be real and honest tonight
because this is where breakthrough happens.
All right, yeah, Diana, that's so not true.
All right, so I'm too fat, old, ugly,
I'm invisible, unqualified.
I relate to thinking of they knew my whole story.
They would be, yep, okay, I see what you're saying there.
All right, it's gonna start to go a little too fast for me.
I don't make a difference, not being a priority.
All right, I'm gonna just touch on that,
not being a priority just for a minute.
I'm not doing dating coaching,
so I'm not gonna go into that too much,
but I feel like it's worth mentioning.
I just was talking to someone yesterday
where the enemy was trying to convince them
that they weren't as important as something else
in the conversation.
And I'm not gonna go into that too much today.
the life of the person that they are with. And you all, the enemy
I'm gonna just touch on that,
not being a priority, just for a minute.
will try to do that on a regular basis in relationships. You
I'm not doing dating coaching,
so I'm not gonna go into that too much,
know, even before you're in marriage, you know, if that's a
lie you're hearing, when did that start? Remember, the main
key question is God, when was the first time I believed this
lie, or I had this thought or experience this emotion? If you
get triggered a lot, or even at all, God, why am I getting
triggered right now? Like, why am I why am I getting so upset
with this person? You know, at the checkout counter? I had a
BMV, I had to go to the BMV in Florida to get my license here.
Y'all I had stress before I even walked in there. I get so
stressed going into those places. And I had to sit there
for a really long time. And the longer that my stuff like I kept
facing obstacle obstacle. And the more that that happened, I
felt myself getting so triggered. And I had to really
like, watch myself because this poor lady, she was being so
kind. And I was just so stressed. And it was starting to
translate through. And so I did end up apologizing just FYI. I
wasn't mean or like bad, but I was just I was short with her.
And I felt it in my spirit as soon as I did it. And so I
apologized to her later. I'm like, this isn't about you. I
don't know what's going on with me. I'm just I feel stress in
here. And I shared that little example. Because those kind of
things matter to like, I need to look at that. Like maybe it's it
is just because those tend to be high stress environments. But
maybe there's something else that's going on underneath the
surface there that I need to pay attention to. So you all wherever
it shows up, let's just be willing to ask the Lord, where
is this coming from? Why am I feeling the stress? What it what
am I believing and responding to that isn't a part of your kingdom
and your love? Okay, so moving on all of the lies that we
believe or we have heard, Queeness, you know, especially
the ones like, we're insignificant, we don't have any
worth, we lack meaning, or we have no, we're not a priority.
All of those kind of lies that sounds similar to that we're not
enough. My opinion doesn't matter. They all point to low
self esteem, not understanding our value, not understanding our
worth, pauper, like as in P-A-U-P-E-R, not P-O-P-P-E-R,
pauper, and orphan mentalities. So if you think of, I don't know
how many of you would remember, I don't know why this movie is
coming to mind, but it is Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, like
the old one, Kevin Costner, you know, kind of picture the
paupers in that time, they were people that didn't have a lot of
money. Their clothes were, you know, kind of ragged and dingy.
And, you know, especially like kind of Kevin Costner even made
himself look more like that at points to get closer, you know,
to where he needed to go. The reason I bring that up is
because some of us in our spirit are dressed like that. In our
souls, we actually believe that we are less than, because we
don't know our true value and worth. And even people that have
gone to church for a long time, like I knew my value and worth
long before I came in this program, but I can tell you,
I've had multiple upgrades of understanding since I joined
this program. So I want you all to just be open to considering
where do you still feel like you're living in rags? That's
what I'm asking you where you're not living up to the fullness of
everything God has for you. The fullness of the promises, you
know, when you read the Bible and you hear things like the
goodness of God is, you know, you're going to experience it in
the land of the living. And you're just feeling like there's
this massive gap between that truth in your life, that right
there, that's a sign to you that there's probably healing
that needs to happen. And yes, we face trials and tribulation,
y'all that's, that's, that's a part of this as well. Okay. So
it's not always like we're going to have attacks and encounters
that we face, but it's typically one or the other. So I brought
some truth for you as well. For those of you that struggle with
understanding your value and your worth, I wanted to provide
you with some truth that you can cling to tonight and in the days
ahead. And I really want to encourage you to look into this
for yourself, like look
to the word and what is God wanting to say to you personally. Here are a couple things. This is one
the Lord told me to specifically write down and there's so many others. So I have one truth I
wrote down and then the rest are scriptures. You can have enough to give away all the time.
You are a lender, not a borrower. That one has to do with finances if you can't tell.
But that could also be someone who lends care and kindness. You know, you can look at that
all kinds of ways. You can have enough to give away all the time. You can have enough love to
give away all the time. You can have enough joy to give away all the time. You can have enough,
you know, happiness, like fill in the blank you all. So originally I wrote it down about finances,
but God started talking to me about this whole, we can have enough. But paupers and orphan
mentalities, we tend to people that struggle with that stuff tend to believe there's never enough.
So for example, when your sister or brother meets someone and they start celebrating in the group
about this relationship or engagement, you are excited for them. But deep down,
sometimes not everyone, some people struggle with jealousy and feeling like, oh gosh,
I missed my chance now. Like that's one less person, you know? So if we're looking at scenarios
and situations thinking there's not enough for us, that's another signal that you can look at
that tells you that there's healing needed regarding the way that you look at God's
provision for your life. So God sent me Brian. I said, I never wanted to move.
I went on the apps and said, okay, I'm only putting this at two and a half hours. Cause
I'm not moving. And then one day God was like, a couple of days later, he's like, okay, extend
that to a little bit further. And I did. And I ended up meeting Brian.
I do believe in God's provision and his direction. I believe that God can do that for you as well.
Proverbs 12 49 says a wife of noble character is her husband's crown. So ladies,
as you continue to heal, as you continue to walk in the ways of the Lord, as you continue
to pursue the love of the father, guess what? The truth is you are worth like so much value to
him that you're going to be like a crown on his head. He's going to be proud to call you his wife,
not because of what you can do for him, but because of who you are. Genesis. And the same
thing for the men, but it's just, you flip it. It's not, you know, we'll come with one for you
in a little bit here. Genesis one 26 says, then God said, let us make man mankind in our image.
So we are valuable because of who we are, who we are made in the image of that never changes.
Ephesians one five says in love. He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ
in accordance with his pleasure and will Isaiah 43 four says, since you are precious and honored
in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you and nations
in exchange for your life. Y'all he's doing some trading on our behalf because of his deep love.
Now. Yeah. I mean, that was back in Isaiah, but if it was true, then it is true. Now he is the
same God yesterday, today, and forever. So I'm going to read that again. Since you are precious
and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you
and nations in exchange for your life. That was Isaiah 43, four. Thank you all for helping me
put those in the chat. Luke 12 seven is the last scripture for now. Indeed, the very hairs of your
head are all numbered. Don't be afraid. You are worth more than many sparrows.
Who or what has the enemy tried to use to destroy your identity or cause you to devalue yourself?
I just had this image in my head pop up. So I'm going to say it. Who all has ever had a garage sale?
Anyone? You know, when you're putting the stickers on there and you're trying to decide how much
you're going to, you know, sell this.
stuff for, I just heard in the spirit, like some of you all, you know, the ones where you're not
selling it and you're like, okay, well, I need to get rid of this. So I'm going to discount this.
And you put the discount sticker 50% off or whatever. Some of you all are actually like,
you think you're worth the discount value. Like you're in the, I can't sell, this is how you're
viewing yourself that you're in the category of, yeah, you sat on the shelf and I tried to sell
you, but you're just not, you're like, you didn't get picked. So now I'm moving you over to the sale
aisle. Y'all that. And again, these are just analogies. I'm not saying that that is truth.
I'm saying some of you actually think your value is low and that's not true. All right. So it's
time. God's been saying that to me a lot lately. So if y'all see it, when I write things, it's
because he's saying it's time, it's time for what it's time for all kinds of good stuff. God is,
he's literally on the move. If you weren't on last Sunday, we didn't record prayer because
this just was normal prayer. But one of the words that got released was that there is a dam in the
spirit realm. That's about to break. It's about to burst open and God's about to rain all kinds
of stuff down on us and over us, a lot of refreshing and outpouring of the spirit. But
here's the thing. I'm also hearing it's time, time to learn to love ourselves as much as God does.
As much as God does. So if we don't know what that looks like or sounds like y'all,
I didn't have a dad that called me. I didn't. So was it at times hard to understand the love of
the father, like God's good, good love, his love that envelops me and lifts me up every single
day? Yeah, sometimes. But you know what? I just ask him to keep showing me in tangible ways.
Show me Lord, show me your love. Show me the understanding of what your love looks like,
feels like, sounds like. Help me to see it all around me and within me. Help me to become more
rooted in the understanding of nothing can separate me from your love. Not height, nor depth,
nor principality, nor power, nor things in the present, nor things to come. Y'all, not anybody
on a dating app, not something someone says. Nothing. No thing. But we have to live in that truth.
It's time. It's time to step out of the shadows. This is also a word for somebody tonight,
maybe a couple of somebodies. God said, it's time to step out of the shadows and stand strong in the light.
I heard in the spirit that backbones are going to be strengthened tonight as well.
And specifically, not in a prideful way. God is saying, in confidence returning,
an inner strength within you growing. Have y'all ever felt kind of just slumped over when you feel
low self-esteem? Don't we sit with our shoulders kind of hunched? And we're not just walking with
that confidence, that backbone strong. And so the Lord is wanting to heal confidence tonight.
What are the problem areas in your life right now?
What areas are you stuck in? And those are where we're going to kind of hone in.
Those are the things that are signaling to you in this season, the areas that you are still
believing lies. And sometimes they're like blaring warning signs, like warning, warning, warning.
And sometimes they're flashing, but we're not hearing the warning. So we got to be willing to
what I said earlier, be alert and watchful. Being alert and watchful means we're watching
with our eyes, right? That we would guard our hearts and our minds through Christ Jesus
and make every thought, take it all captive and make it obedient to Jesus Christ and the truth
of his word. All right. So I'm going to open up the seats. I think it is Dawn. Dawn and Marsha,
are your hands up to do heart work or were you just had, did you have your hands up from before?
Okay. Not sure there.
All right. So I think Tammy, anyone who wants to get into the heart work seat,
you can put your hands up. Tammy, is that okay? Marsha, sorry. I didn't know if you
were wanting to do that. All right, Tammy, go ahead and tell me, tell me what your question
is tonight. Well, my question or my issue or your issue. Yeah. However you want.
Yeah. Well, lately I've just been getting triggered kind of easily.
by like, I guess, really old, old beliefs that they're very, I can't remember a
specific time necessarily anything happened.
Some of them I can, but like if my mom says something to me that seems kind
of judgmental, that really rubbed me the wrong way.
I mean, a few days ago I was really upset for a while and I just had to get sick
of being upset and just say, okay, God, this isn't joy, this isn't what the
word says, not to be afraid of someone's judging me or be angry at me.
You know, and I just chose not to think that and chose to think what God says
and have joy and go on like that.
And that just kind of got over it.
But that just keeps happening lately.
I'm like, well, I don't need to spend time in the word, obviously.
But yeah, so it's just kind of weird.
So it has to do with like my, my self-esteem or I can't, people
tell me in the past, sometimes when we were kids, like my big sister, we
were in the library, my mom and her, and they were looking for a particular
book and I couldn't really read yet.
But I was determined to help them find this book.
And my sister said something kind of ugly to me, like not necessarily meaning
that, but it kind of hurt my feelings about like, you can't, you can't find
that or whatever, something like that.
And I happened to grab the right book and I showed that one to them.
And they're like, you found it.
They were startled.
And I actually happened to find that book on the shelf somehow.
I couldn't even read.
So, but I mean, I always wanted to like help with things, you know,
little, little kids are, and just think people, people say sometimes they
don't maybe mean to be mean, but it comes across that way and judgmental.
And so I'm going to ask you a question.
I'm going to hop in.
Tell me what the old belief sounds like.
You mentioned old belief and then yeah, go ahead with that.
Yeah.
Um, well, just like I'm insignificant, like I'm less than everybody else.
Like when I was with my little friends on the street and the neighborhood
and like first grade or whatever, they're running around all these places.
I'd go with them, but sometimes I want to stay in where we were at and play
with something in the room and they don't want to leave and I'd be like,
eh, you know, feeling left out and just will not listen to, I guess.
And I just always felt less than everybody else.
Like, um, one time when I was about a pair, so I was younger than that.
I was like four years old.
Maybe my parents weren't even divorced yet.
And we had gone one night to visit one of our neighbors.
I'm just remembering this.
Like God must be reminding me.
And, um, these people had apparently a little boy in our family and I was
standing there with my parents.
I was just talking about a talk to these people for a minute.
And I saw this particular toy.
I don't even remember what it was sitting there.
And I was curious about it.
So I start playing it and this little boy that lives there comes over.
And my dad or something, my dad told me, uh, let the little boy play with it.
Cause it was his toy, you know, which is fine.
But just things like that.
I just felt less than like I couldn't do.
Yeah.
When my dad said literally it was the way I interpreted myself and
had that no one knew that I was like worthless, that I couldn't do that.
You know, the other people got things that I couldn't have normal things.
Cause I grew up, I was really, really allergic.
I was allergic to breast milk.
Then I was allergic to formula.
Finally, mom found one I could drink.
Then I started eating solid food.
My grandfather told me he's deceased now told me one time I couldn't
eat was green beans and chicken.
And he was kind of exaggerating.
I think that I was allergic to tons of different foods.
And so I had a lot of problems from that.
I had a cross by.
I had, I'm going to have you, I'm going to have you pause.
Hold on, hold on for me.
So let's, let's just lean into this first thing that we were talking about.
And I'm glad that the situation came up when you were younger.
I think all of these things are kind of tying together, but in my spirit,
like, even as you're talking, you know, part of the key, everyone is that we
come out of agreement with these things.
So when they come up and we might have to do it kind of
repetitively for a little while.
Like years ago, when I overcame a spirit of fear, um, part of it was coming out
of a alignment and agreement with that, but it was also coming into agreement
with truth, continuously speaking that out of my mouth over and over and over again.
And so, you know, um, when the feelings of I'm less than or
insignificance are rising up, what are you doing to come out of agreement
with that and speak truth over yourself and partner with that instead?
You know what I'm saying?
So really like, and even the people that are very like, uh, they can pray
for people, they hear the prophetic.
Sometimes people forget to do these kinds of things that are causing
them to shift into truth and partner with that.
And so I would encourage you in the day, in the next like week to two weeks,
just start tracking how often are you actually continuing to allow yourself
to think on the, I'm not, I'm insignificant, and when you're
Missing judgmental things like, um, let me give this example too.
If I had two people, one person over here and the other person here, this
person is saying, I think she's awesome.
This person over here is saying, I don't think she's that great.
Which person is right.
Neither one you all guess why?
Because if I think I am a kind person that I'm generous, that I'm faithful,
I'm not just talking ignorance, but in my heart, I know that that is
the intention of my heart in my life.
If that person, it doesn't mean that I don't care about their feelings or
their thoughts, but I can't let their thoughts and the things that they think
and say to define me, even the person that's saying the good stuff, because
then I'm getting my worth from what someone's saying to me.
And so then what happens if that person gets upset with me
and now they change their mind?
Do I then forget who I am?
And, and again, there's no shame in judgment.
Y'all I used to struggle with this very, very much.
And so I've really been trying to lean into, okay, what do I believe?
Lord, what do you believe about me?
What do you say about me?
Help me to hear what your spirit is saying louder than any voice of the
enemy than any opinion of a person.
Because y'all sometimes I, I coach and I teach and I think I did great.
And I feel like, man, I don't know if that was as good.
And then there's times I think I don't do as good.
And people like, yes, I got, I got free and it's mind boggling.
But see, that's, you know, God takes the things of the, the
world to confound the wise.
Like we don't have to understand.
Right.
We just need to know who we are in him.
So I encourage you this next week, two weeks, start just journaling.
When you're having these thoughts, these old beliefs are kicking in,
literally write them down.
And if they're like negative old things, cross that stuff out and ask God for the
truth, get that revealing for healing cycle back out, get that back out.
That's a tool in your tool belt.
Get that out and go through that process and see what else God brings up for you.
That was a great share, Tammy.
Thank you so much for sharing that with us tonight.
Don, go ahead.
Okay.
Hello.
Hi everybody.
I'm Bethany.
So my question is, I had a setback and I was going to share that.
So I, so I had some, what happened is I've been dealing with my orphan
mentality, scarcity, that God doesn't want to bless me.
And then when other people get blessed, I get jealous and I get offended.
So I was working on that and I had the Lord show me in many different ways.
How he really does love me.
He cares about me and he does want to see me blessed.
Like with the car, that was a really big thing.
So then when something good happens, then you like the hard work, the
devil's going to try to cause a setback.
So what happened is I was in a meeting and there was a speaker, like a women's
meeting, and this was like a, oh, no, a week or two ago, there was a woman
speaking and I got very offended at what she said, because she was like, the
speaker was bragging about, I guess, all the stuff she got and about prosperity
and how rich she is and how it was all, God did this for her.
God did that.
God did this.
And it was way overboard.
It was very, um, braggadocio, very extravagant.
Nobody else really got upset, but I got so upset and offended.
I told my girlfriend, I said, I can't take this.
Uh, this woman is crazy.
I can't believe she's talking.
And I walked out and I left and I was really mad and I could just huff and a pop.
I'm just really mad with what she was saying.
And I knew there's something wrong with me.
It affected me to such a degree because she didn't know how I felt.
So, so now I have an offense towards the woman, what she said.
Yep.
And here, here you go.
Tonight's your night to let that go.
Yeah.
Offense is an opportunity for an upgrade.
So you're about to have an upgrade.
Another one.
You've been having a couple lately.
And so here's a couple of questions I have for you.
Why was this so extravagant?
Why was it too extravagant?
Y'all God is extravagant.
He's extravagant in his love and his blessings.
And I get, I get, I get what you're saying.
So I want you to, to know, I empathize with you because when I didn't have a lot,
that kind of stuff was hard for me to hear too.
Um, you know, when preachers would say someone just gave me a call and I'm like,
it's breaking down like crazy, Lord, I'm praying for a car.
I was praying for the, you know, we just, we don't fully know and understand.
And it's not about that, but I think we need to look at why, why is, is something
like that?
Why do we not like that?
Why don't we want to hear about the blessings that God gave to someone, even
if it is, even if it's not a blessing, even if it's not a gift, even if it's not
Yeah, we can answer your question. It was a little too materialistic. A car can be a need,
but she was talking about stuff that was very materialistic that was not a need.
Okay, here we go. This is key. I'm curious, when you grew up, if you were told that certain types
of things, if you want those things, that it's being materialistic, because that's a very
specific word. To me, God has given me an upgrade in understanding that He cares about my needs
and my wants. And my wants, you all. He gave Brian and I $500. I don't even know who gave it to us,
because we wanted to go on a trip. It's with pastoral people, and we really want to connect
with them. We're wanting community. And I was like, Lord, I don't think we should spend that
money right now. And so you know what he did? He put it on someone else's heart to give us the
money. So that might be offensive to someone, when I say that, even tonight. And even for you.
And I'm not saying that to brag, but oh my gosh, that's the first time that's happened like that.
I've had people bless me. Like when I went to Indiana, someone blessed me with money on the
front end to pay, help me pay for that move. Not Brian. It was, I mean, he blessed me in other
ways too, but this was someone that felt led to so into my love story. God is extravagant.
He is. And so if we look at things and we're like, well, that's so materialistic, typically
that came from somewhere. And I'm not saying like, yeah, I think there are people that can
get excessive at times, but again, it's all our perspective of what is excessive. Isn't it?
I grew up. Yeah, I know, Stephanie. I'm sorry. So I grew up like, so my parents were hippies and
they were very non-materialistic. So they were from the sixties and everything was a need base,
but materialism was not a good thing. Yeah. So that's, that's the root there.
So I would encourage you to ask the Lord here. Here's when this stuff comes up, you all,
it doesn't mean that we can't keep some of what we believe. Right. But let's just ask the Lord,
like, God, is that how you look at this? God, is there anything that I learned growing up that I
heard that isn't a part of the kingdom? And just start asking him and let him show you, because,
you know, again, our perspective aligning with heaven is what matters. Not just me telling you
what I think you should think. Does that make sense? Yeah. What are some scriptures you can
give me for this? Cause I've had a lot. I mean, off the top of my head, I would have,
I search just like you all do. I mean, I know the Bible pretty good, but I don't know it all by heart.
And so I would encourage you for yourself. You all, I'm really big on you, you all doing the
work. Cause guess what? At one point I had to do the work. So you go search for it, seek it out,
let God speak to you about that personally, and then come back and share it with us.
But when you said the term extravagant, where did we get that? The Bible, where would it even say
God is extravagant? Like, I've never really heard that. Okay. It kind of blows me like, what? I mean,
I've never like, what is. Yeah. God says he will chase us down with his goodness.
He even, I mean, Elijah and all of them, I mean, they, they literally had provision coming out.
I mean, they would go somewhere. Elijah's under a tree. God sends a bird and feeds them,
gives them drink. Maybe that's not extravagant to you, but I'm kind of like,
well, that's kind of extravagant. God used a bird to bring him some food.
God does things in all kinds of ways. I think you're looking, you can look up. I mean,
see if there is actual scripture. That's okay. That says extravagant, but it's more about what
is extravagant. What about the situation where my heart is just more like, there's just a big
thing here that keeps coming back. That makes me very offended.
Well, because, because yeah, it's because it's been a stronghold for you. And so over time,
that's going to get weaker and weaker and weaker. And one day, mark my words, one day you will not
battle this the same way. But for right now, that's just part of you getting your freedom
and your breakthrough and coming out of old mindsets and patterns of thinking that you
have been in for a very long time. And so freedom can be a process sometimes. So keep with it. Way
to go. You've been doing great. Do not give up.
up. Don't grow weary in well doing because in due season, you're going to keep reaping and
understanding and growing. It's going to be really good. This is helping you. I know it hurts
sometimes, but it is helping you. I'm going to go on to Carrie. Thank you so much for sharing, Dawn.
Hi, can you hear me? Yep. Okay. So a little tender heart right now because I just had a breakup on
Monday. A lot of the issues that I'm going through, it's happened after breakups in the past.
The one thing that I've noticed is if there's a person who has a big personality, I shut down
and I can't be myself. I just think back on the past things that we were
on dates and everything like that because he did have a big personality. I loved that about him,
but I shut down because I was too scared to be myself. I would get really, really quiet and
reserved. Or on the reverse of that, I would have to show up being on because I am an introvert.
I'm a little more quiet. They kind of compete with each other where I want to be myself,
but I also want to be on and show them that I'm having fun. Then I'm also really scared
with the big personality that's there. Then of course, after the breakup, there's the fear of,
oh my gosh, I can't do this. I don't know how to do this and I don't know if this is ever going to
happen. Okay. Two things here. The big personality shut down, can't be myself, too scared to be
yourself. Those are things that I heard you saying. I'm curious, when is the first time,
who's the first person you ever felt yourself do that with? Where they had a big personality,
is there someone in your family that has a big personality that you do that with? Who is it?
It's my sister. She was the beautiful one. She still is the beautiful one. She's the seen one.
Everybody knew who she was and people had no idea who I was when I came through school because I
lived in a small town and everybody knew my family. They knew right away who she was and
it would take them till the second semester to figure out who I was. All right. So guess what?
That word tonight about coming out of the shadows, my friend, that is for you. Okay. I feel this in
the Holy Spirit so much. You said she was the beautiful one. Yeah. Hello. Do you see yourself?
So this is where the value in knowing who you are. I understand a lot of people face this stuff
when they grow up and they have siblings and there's comparison that goes on in the home and
or even out in public and people aren't trying to compare but they just say something to one
sibling and then the other one's left feeling like they're not enough or they're not, they don't
measure up to that other person. And this can happen even with, you know, like I felt like that
with my oldest brother, not because I thought he was more beautiful than me, but he was very
accomplished and I felt like everybody was like, oh, you got to be like Brian, you know, all this
stuff. And so I want to encourage you to A, come out of alignment with the lie that she is the
beautiful one and you're not. Huge right there. Number two, I want you to ask the Lord to help
you really know the first time that you shut down with your sister when she was around, something
that happened that caught like where you caused or where it caused you, excuse me, to pull back and
feel like you were scared to actually be yourself. And just see what God brings up for you because
that's going to be a thread. I like to call it a thread to pull on. That's kind of been my phrase
lately. It may not show you everything, but I think it's going to be the place to start. That's
going to lead you to some other stuff. Because here's the thing. You can show up in the world
and just be who you are. And that is enough. But me telling you that and you believing it
for yourself are two different things. So really leaning into that. The second, those, those two
things that I gave you there. The next thing is the breakup. And then you said you had a lot of
fear. I can't do this. You know, I think you said maybe I'm not good enough or said something there.
So that kind of partners with the other stuff. I'm not good enough because you were always in
sister's shadow. So now here's this guy you're dating. And it kind of sounds like maybe you
started feeling like you were in his shadow too, or that you had to kind of really put yourself up
more than you felt comfortable doing to keep up with him. In a sense. A lot of times that's where
And we think we're not on the same level as someone else.
It's a value, it's a heart worth value issue.
Yeah, because he could actually articulate very, very well.
And I'm a processor where I need to sit and think.
And so we would bring up,
we would just bring up things that we need,
we were talking about working on
and I was very vulnerable with them, which is a good thing.
That normally I'm not, so I'm proud of myself on that.
But when he would ask questions,
like to the point of when we were gonna be exclusive,
he goes, what does it mean to you for being exclusive?
And my mind just would shut down.
And he goes, this is what it means for me.
And I couldn't articulate,
even though I know it, I couldn't articulate it.
Yeah, and so just, I'm just sensing too,
I feel like you need to give yourself some grace.
I feel like you're kind of being real hard on yourself
and you all, we grow as we go.
I think, sometimes what I'm seeing is people feel like
they have to have it all figured out all the time.
And if they don't, then they're not enough
or they've messed up.
So I love that you're seeing the way
that this relationship helped you grow.
Cause I heard you say a couple of things
that you learned about yourself
and you got out of your comfort zone a little bit
in some ways.
And so as you go forward, you can do this.
You're learning, you're learning.
It's kind of like, when we first learned how,
and not that I'm saying this is where you're at,
but when we first learned how to ride a bike,
we had training wheels, a lot of us,
unless you were like me, someone put you on a bike
and they just shoved you down a hill
and you learned how to ride or you were gonna fall.
But like a lot of us had training wheels and it took time.
And then when we were ready for a bigger,
then the training wheels got taken off
and then you get a bigger bike and it keeps,
I want you to kind of think of it like that.
And it doesn't mean that you have to have multiple,
maybe you will, I don't know,
but like you're growing and you're learning.
I feel like it's gonna be an important part
of your confidence.
Like that stuff I was talking about earlier,
where your backbone's kind of strengthening,
you're figuring out who you are
outside of the shadow of other people
and just really loving, loving Carrie,
loving Carrie really well.
So you might need to,
I don't know if you heard the HeartWorks,
Advanced HeartWork the last time I did it,
but I kind of released an idea about
writing all, like doing a silhouette of yourself
and writing all of the positive statements
from the Lord about who you are.
I really would encourage you if you haven't heard that,
that will be in the training tab under the paths
and you'll just have to look.
I think it was July 29th I did that last Advanced HeartWork.
You might wanna listen to that one as well.
Okay, so work on those and then come back
and post in the group and let us know
how you're doing on that, okay?
For everybody that I gave feedback to,
because that's how you're gonna continue
to implement this stuff.
Thank you so much for sharing, Carrie.
All right, so I know I have a ton more hands.
I'm gonna try my best to get to more of you,
but I also wanna give some additional content.
I wanna get you guys reactivated and re-engaged
because I know it can get long
when we're just sitting here, right?
So kind of stretch, move around.
I wanna talk to you about fear.
Fear is coming up a lot tonight.
So I feel like this is the Lord preparing in advance.
What fears are you facing right now?
So some of you are already talking about fears
that are coming up, fears that you're not enough,
fears that like when mom judges or when,
even when we hear something and it offends us,
like, why can't I get past this?
So that can cause fear or anxiety.
Fear remembers false evidence appearing real.
So it seems like it is real, but it's false.
Anxiety is fueled by fear and what if thoughts.
Thank you, Cheryl, for putting that in the chat for us.
Anxiety is fueled by fear and what if thoughts.
So if you tend to be an anxious person,
remember being anxious is not your identity.
Super important that you differentiate
between something you struggle with and your identity.
You can say, hey, I struggle with feeling anxious
or I am battling with worry or panic,
but don't own that stuff as your identity.
So for example, years ago,
I used to struggle with anxiety really like massively.
And I remember one day just saying to the Lord,
like, why did you make me this way?
And he said, I didn't.
And I was like, what?
Yes, you did.
I've been like this since I was little.
I just remember always being like this.
And he said, Bethany, I did not create you that way.
and the stuff that I went through,
and just because I didn't know any better as a little kid,
lies I believed, you know, allowed that stuff to enter.
And then the more I, you know, didn't know that,
the more it got kind of defined
and that stronghold got built in there.
And so there have been, to what kind of Don was saying,
there have been times where I was past it.
I had breakthrough, I had freedom.
And then when I went through all those betrayals
in that last relationship, it was like a floodgate
just opened the doors wide open
to all that anxiety and panic again.
And I was kind of like how she was saying,
like, why am I dealing with this again?
I thought I was already free from this.
And so that's when I had that conversation with the Lord.
Why did you make me this way?
And he said, I didn't.
So that was the day that I got the revelation on,
anxiety is something that I struggle with
or have struggled with,
but it is not how God made me, okay?
So whatever it is that you all are struggling with,
make sure you're not claiming that as this is just who I am.
This is how I'm always going to be.
If you're saying stuff like that
or thinking stuff like that,
that's what we're going to produce.
Remember, whatever we put in our heart,
whatever gets in here is what comes out.
All right, Proverbs 12, 25 says,
anxiety weighs down the heart,
but a kind word cheers it up.
So how kind have you been to yourself lately?
Kind words from other people can also cheer you up,
but kind words from yourself can also cheer you up.
So again, anxiety weighs down the heart,
but a kind word cheers it up.
I want to encourage you to resist the what ifs.
So just like I was saying earlier,
we got to take these thoughts captive
and make them obedient to Jesus Christ in the word,
resisting every thought that does not align with heaven,
including all of the what ifs.
What if this?
What if that?
What if they think this?
That whole rabbit trail that people go down.
So I want you to ask yourself,
if you're someone that struggles with anxiety
and anxious thinking, ask yourself a couple things.
Here they are.
What are the facts?
What are the facts of this situation?
What is true?
Like what can you actually prove to be true?
So for example,
let's say someone's not texting you back
and you automatically believe the worst.
There's probably what ifs feeding that
unless you have truth and facts to support it.
Sometimes y'all people are just busy
and it doesn't mean they don't care.
Sometimes people don't know how they feel
about moving forward.
And so they don't know how to communicate that.
And they might be leaning into their old patterns
and behaviors and trying to figure that out.
I'm not saying we got to stick with those people,
but just understand it doesn't always mean
that you're not enough.
It doesn't always mean that you're not good enough for them.
It just means that they're not texting you back
for whatever reason.
But so many of you, myself included in the past,
we take that stuff on ourselves
and claim it as a part of who we are.
And this is how it's just always going to be for me.
Okay, that's not true.
Ask God to help you to discern
things that are true or false.
Remember, fear is false evidence appearing real, okay?
We can overcome our fears,
the more we heal and become more rooted
in God's love and faithfulness to us.
So what are you rooted in?
Like what does your soil look like right now?
And this isn't about check the box, I went to church.
This is about, I'm talking about like in your heart,
like what are you rooted in?
Have you been meditating on how much God loves you?
Have you been meditating on your worth in him?
If not, again, this is not to shame you.
I just want to tell you, that's what's going to help you.
I know you all, we want to meet somebody right away,
but if we don't know who we are,
you're going to go into that relationship broken
and it's going to make it a lot harder.
So become a whole person individually
so that you're bringing that to the table.
And again, that can be in process.
It doesn't mean that I wasn't perfect when I met Brian.
Y'all, I've done a lot of healing
in the three years I've known him.
And two of which we've been married.
We still even tonight just talking,
like God's always healing, he's redeeming, he's restoring.
It's a process.
But what are you rooted in right now?
1 John 4, 18 says,
there is no fear in love,
but perfect love drives out fear.
Because fear has to do with torment.
Some versions say punishment.
The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
What fears do you need to invite
the love of God into tonight?
And ask him for insight and revealing for healing
so that you can step into freedom.
So let's see the fears.
I wanna see them in the chat.
Let's start to put those in there.
What fear, like tonight for you,
where are you gonna invite God in
to bring his love into that fear,
that place of fear that you're having,
the stuff that's been stirring,
the questions and the lies,
whatever that sounds like for you.
Fear of actually meeting a potential man for initial date.
What if I fail?
Fear of dating, I'm not enough.
Fear of intimacy, fear of dating.
So Naomi, I feel like that kind of partnered
with the answer you gave earlier.
Fear, so intimacy is into me see.
So it's that you're afraid of them really seeing you.
So I'd encourage you to ask the Lord,
like where did that hiding start?
Like, and that, ask him to help you come out of hiding
and really see yourself for who you are.
Your worth is far above Ruby's, my friend.
All right, where do you need to choose
to come out of alignment with a life of torment?
For some of you, I heard the Lord say that specifically,
like some of you have partnered with a life of torment
for so long that you just think that's your life.
And that's all, and you're trying to break free from it,
but then every time you do,
you just keep feeling like you're being pulled
right back into it.
But part of that is because you keep telling yourself
that this is your life and that that's all
that there is for you, but that's not true.
So where are you believing in partnering with lies
that don't reflect the love
and the heart of the Father for you?
All right, one more scripture for you,
and then I'm gonna come back to the people to coach.
John 1, 5, this is the amplified version, you all.
Excuse me.
The light shines on in the darkness,
did not understand it, or overpower it,
or appropriate it, or absorb it,
and is unreceptive to it.
I'm gonna read it again.
The light, capital L, shines on in the darkness,
did not understand it, or overpower it,
or appropriate it, or absorb it,
and is unreceptive to darkness.
The light is unreceptive to darkness.
So if we have any area where we have torment,
fear, panic, dread, worry,
these insidious thoughts,
these things that just over and over,
they're just constantly going,
y'all, that's part, there's darkness there.
Not that you're dark, okay?
But the truth is, is that we believe lies in those areas.
That means that we need light to come in
and shine and illuminate, because guess what?
That light will never get absorbed into that darkness,
because the light is always stronger.
Let the light of heaven shine into the dark areas
of your heart tonight.
Again, there's no shame, you all, okay?
So wherever you're at, that's where you're at,
but this is the continuing point.
It's not a starting point, but it's a continuing point.
We are becoming more like Christ, hopefully, every day,
right?
Yeah.
So it says to put on love, to put on hope,
to not take it off, to put on joy.
This is a practice, it's a lifestyle, all right?
Okay, I'm gonna come over to Hunter.
I see that you're about to jump off.
Do you still wanna share?
Oh, you're on mute.
Oh, okay, I was gonna let one person go first ahead of me.
Yeah, we can let someone else go, that's totally fine.
And I can come next.
Okay, Gabriella, go ahead.
Okay.
I've been walking through a really challenging season
that's just dragging on and on forever.
And a lot of the things that you've been talking about
definitely apply to me.
The fears that are coming up are like,
number one, I,
I escaped a very bad situation seven years ago and it just feels never ending.
And like, this is like, I'm not really free and this is holding me back from everything
that I want to do.
Like I want God to use my testimony to help other people, but I just feel stuck.
And yeah, that's the main thing right now.
So what is the, tell me one or two fears that you're hearing right now.
I have a really tormenting fear that if I make any mistakes that I'll lose God's protection
over me and my kids.
And I've been struggling with anxiety and like PTSD that is preventing me from doing
things I need to do.
And then I beat myself up for not doing those things and it's just a vicious cycle.
And then I get, then I'm afraid that because I'm not doing the things I need to do, that
God's going to punish me or that I'm going to lose his protection.
And yeah, I feel like I remember maybe doing a little bit of work with you before about
your dad.
I mean, I definitely think some of this connects back there.
One of the things that I think is really important, any mistakes, you're afraid that you'll lose
God's protection.
So God's protection doesn't change you all like his love.
He doesn't, he is love.
Like God is love.
And I know we hear that all the time, but just like, think about that.
Like everything that he is emanates that even to you right now, Gabrielle.
Like he wants you to know that nothing can take you from his love and his protection
is a part of his promise that comes through the love.
And so if you make a mistake, and I thought of this earlier today.
So it's interesting that you said that someone else in the, in the group posted something
and they were saying how afraid they are to make a mistake, you know, because they just
want to get it right.
And I was thinking in regards to this person this afternoon, I remember somebody telling
me years ago, cause I re I remember being afraid to make decisions because I didn't
trust myself because I had made some not good choices in the past.
And I paid like, in a sense, I paid for it.
I had consequences.
There was, I ended up in an abusive marriage and there was just stuff.
And so somebody said to me once, is God not big enough to help you get back on track if
you make a mistake?
And I thought that was a really good question because I had to look back and see all the
ways God helped me all the time before leading up to that and the ways he was there for me
long before I ever even knew that he was and the things he was working together in
my life to provide for me.
And so I want to encourage you, um, a so important to stay in community, Gabrielle.
Okay.
So when you're making good, like making decisions, the Bible says that we should seek a multitude
of counselors and people that walk in wisdom.
So one of the PR like protections God has provided for you, I believe is this community.
And so for me, when I was going, you know, in my dating process and even some other things,
I was making decisions about my job and all that.
I shared that stuff in my community group regularly because I didn't want to make, um,
mistakes again.
And so like hearing from my sisters who could really give me another perspective was important.
Um, and as well as the coach and leaders, which was, you know, Jackie at that time primarily.
So I want to encourage you that this is bit, this community is here to love you and cheer
you on and, and help you in a sense so that you can maybe continue to keep stepping into
the healthy path.
Right.
So that's one thing that came up in my spirit.
The other thing is that God isn't going to remove his love from you, no matter what,
when you said about, uh, I forget exactly how you said it, but it was about doing things.
And then if you're not doing something a certain way, then you beat yourself up.
And again, you all, I'm not trying to beat a dead horse, but it's when we think like
that, when we have thoughts like that, it's because we don't understand who God is.
God isn't, you know, God isn't one that beats people up or beats them over the head if they
do something wrong.
So then why do we do?
that. It says, love your neighbor as you love yourself.
Well, if we don't love ourselves, well, a lot of times
that has to do with the fact that we don't know God's love in
that way. And so then we also struggle to extend it the same
way to other people. Does that make sense?
Yes, it makes sense. And I, I wrestle with that all the time,
because being in, that was all I knew for so long, like 20 years,
I still have that voice in my head of condemnation. And if I
make one mistake, I'm going to have, I'm going to pay for it.
And yeah,
and it takes time. I know it. I know that it can be tough to
feel like kind of like what Don was saying. And I mean, I gave
my life to the Lord in 1998. So y'all, I've had some years to
work on this. And so just want to encourage you to keep going,
just keep going. You're, you're going in a good as far as like
coming here tonight, talking about it, come into the group,
tell us more, what is it that you're praying about that you're
worried you're going to make a mistake with? And, and y'all,
let me say this to you. I know it can be really tough if a
coach says something that that it feels offensive, or feels
uncomfortable. But y'all, we're saying it with love. We're
saying it because we want God's best for you. We want you to
walk into the fullness of God's plan for you in a healthy
relationship in a healthy environment. And so just please,
as you receive information, remember that our hearts, we
have all these filters and blind spots and things from the
brokenness. And we still receive information through that not
that Gabriella did, but I just that came up in my spirit. So I
felt led to mention that as well. So we're going to be
cheering you on come in the group and tell us a little bit
more kind of what you're trying to navigate and let us let us
meet you and walk alongside of you in that. Okay.
Okay, thank you. And that also ties into the second main thing
like it's too much like I don't want to burden people because
it's my life is so messy. And I feel like it's just too much.
And especially dating someone, I feel like it's too much for
them to deal with too. And like a never ending custody battle
and financial strain because of that, and just makes me feel
like giving up.
Yeah, and I mean, I get it. I used to think my story was
too much for people to and now I talk about it all the time,
y'all. Like I feel like on her. I mean, I talk about it all the
time and hard work. And but I can remember feeling that way
even when I met Brian, because he came from a very different
background than I did. He had, like really great parents. And
hardly, I mean, they had stuff they went through, but he
didn't have the toxic environment I grew up in and
all of that. But here's the other thing that's important for
everybody to hear. Y'all God's shoulders are broad. And I
know God's shoulders are broad, and they're big, and he's
mighty, and he can handle anything. And guess what he
equips his saints, his his sons and daughters with the ability
and the grace to also, it says in the Bible, bear with one
another's burdens with this, like having compassion with
others with the same, you know, I forget exactly how it says it.
But basically, I'm able to do for others because what God has
done for me, right. So at some point, I had a lot of people
that walked in my life with me. And I had to start believing
that I wasn't too much. I'm just right, y'all. You're just right.
I know these are these might be little things that I'm saying,
but I hope it really goes into the core of some of what you
all are believing about yourselves. You're just right.
God didn't make a mistake. God didn't mess up. And even now
God's rewriting your whole story, Gabriella, and for
everybody else, he's rewriting, and rebuilding and restoring,
and just keep putting a foot the next foot in front of the other
and just keep keep walking. Okay. Y'all, y'all can do this.
You've got this. God's got you and you've got this. All right,
Emily, go ahead.
Wait, wait, wait. Oh, yeah. Hunter Hunter. Thank you. Go
ahead. Well, you see, I just turned 36 this September. But
of course, I have pros and cons. The problem is, I'm, I'm still
not married. I still have no kids. And I have this feeling
and I have to deal with this rat race. I started out when I
graduated high school with the tension of living life at the
fullest. And I did I could and every time I don't have my
spirit made, the more I feel like I'm not living at its
fullest. And the more I started getting a fit of rage thinking,
oh, there's someone out there. Oh, she won't be faithful. Or
maybe she's not queuing up. Oh, she's too inferior. I can do
better stuff than that. I can do better stuff than her. I was
already doing my marriage. But as I get older, if God's will is
that I have to wait. But yeah, he's figured that if I wait only
till late 40s or 50s, I'm gonna end up devaluing it because I'm
framing I enjoy the marriage
at the fullest. So I think I won't be able to enjoy it at
the fullest, thinking that they all be too brief, it'll be too
late, we won't be able to have kids, we won't be able to do
stuff what married couples would do.
Okay, so I'm gonna have you go back to the I'm still not
married, no kids running a rat race. So you're just feeling
like you're not enough by yourself, which goes right back
to identity that I was talking about earlier, you all that I
mean, that's like a huge example right there. But Hunter, I hear
what you're saying. And I just want you to know that we're
going to be praying for you about all of that. One of the
other things that came to mind as you were sharing is that even
men, you know, you all have to really decide what is truth.
What do you believe? Like, what is the report of the Lord over
your life? Like, I hear you saying, and we all battle these
lies that the enemy is saying to us, but what report are we going
to believe? Are we going to believe what God is saying? And
when you were talking about the fullness of if you know, when
God and brings you and your spirit mate together, depending
on what that age is, but you use the age of 40. If it doesn't
happen until I'm 40, then I'm going to miss out and it's not
going to feel full is what you said.
Yes, it's basically some thinking about that if we don't
if it doesn't happen, we're gonna have to I might have to go
take drastic measures, we're going to go back in. And we got
a knuckle back in time and go back to my way I was born and
raised in Ohio. And I live I may live in New York, but I was born
and raised in Ohio, we're gonna go all the way back to Ohio and
trace my footsteps. And we're gonna enjoy stuff. Well, during
those years, because I was, because while I'm waiting, I'm
just doing stuff that involves finding personal happiness
outside contribute something that involves contributing to my
own happiness. So we're gonna go back in time. And we're gonna
do all the things I used to do with me.
Well, so here's the key. You don't have to go back in time.
Because guess what, you're writing a new story when you
meet your spirit mate, and you're writing a story with
them. And you get to start right then. And I can tell you that
just from even Brian and I like the story in the life that I
live and I'm, I'm almost 10 years older than you Hunter is
way better than anything I could have ever thought. And I
definitely do not feel like my life is not full. My life is so
full. And we are going on adventures together. And we're
having fun. And I, I've literally never had the thought
that I need to take him back into my prior life, and show him
all those things because I am who I am now. I want him to know
me now. And I can tell him about some of those things. I can say,
Hey, I used to, I used to love doing this, or this is how the
service used to be at my church. But we all have that, like, even
if you meet a friend, like a bro, and you're hanging out with
him, are you going to take him back on that journey with you
all those years? No, you're not, you're going to start right now.
So that's all you have to do, even when you meet the person
that God's going to bring to you. You just all of us, we
start now. We don't have to rewrite all that God's doing all
that. He's redeeming the timeline, he's rewriting the
story. And he's going to help you have a lot of fun. If you
partner with that truth, you can have an incredible time and a
very, very full relationship in life, no matter what. There's
people in our community, y'all meeting in their 70s getting
married. And I can tell you what, they're having a full life
and they're having a great time. And they're not thinking about
all the stuff they missed out on before. So it's it's what we
partner with in our minds. It truly is. The battlefield is
truly up here. Hunter, I'm so glad you share because I think a
lot of people struggle with this in a lot of different ways. So I
appreciate you being honest and sharing that with us tonight.
Well, of course, can I say that I was glad I was brought with
that because there is a grain of truth to that. Because when I
was in school, I used to fall behind get in trouble. But then
I started excelling and well, and then early in high school,
and then I started excelling in high school. And then my mom was
trying to get a you know, they were all pressuring when you're
at high school, they graduating, they pressure you on what you're
gonna do what you're gonna do, basically try and get your
future. And my mom and I want to be cool because I don't want to
say my mom to look at me Sam Sam home playing computer games and
playing World of Warcraft. So I have to make everything count.
They basically live in the moment like, like wrestling,
like or they get this good grade or something, that sort of
thing. So I started developing that mentality. And of course,
it did help with a lot of things like that got me I got to be
out. And it was a time place for vegans, but I had to sell get a
job even move out of the house at 24. Or get involved in
ministry except fell behind because I did go to church, but
I didn't know why the heck
I was there, I didn't get into the word or so. And then I
wanted to get make the most of it and grab it. Absorb all the
biblical knowledge, I can get my hands on
assignment for you. I hear what you're saying. I have an
assignment for you and anybody else that understands where he's
going with this. Make a bucket list of what you want to do
with your spirit mate. When you are together, a bucket list is a
list of ideas of things you cannot wait to go do with them.
You know, I did that before I met Brian. I'm so glad I did
because we've actually done some of the things on that list. So
yes, of course, I think when we when we have the thoughts that
we want to live our life to the full, and we don't want to miss
out on anything, I do think it does propel us to make good
choices and invest in ourself. So I'm definitely in agreement
with you there. But I also don't think we need to feel like we're
not going to have enough if we wait for God to bring that
person to us. So thank you so much for sharing. I'm going to
I'm going to have Emily share now. Okay. All right. We'll
share later. All right. Bye. Emily, go ahead.
Yes. Hi, Bethany. Um, I know. It hit me last weekend. Actually,
I went I was hanging out. I've got this good friend and she's
been in a relationship with this guy for a year now. She's not
Christian. Really? They think neither of them are. They don't
live Christian lifestyle. And he hasn't treated her the best way.
So is this okay? Is this hard work about yours? Because I'm
dealing with stuff that's coming up. Okay. Yeah, she basically
wants me to be happy for her in this relationship. And I'm
struggling. I've been struggling with jealousy. And
not sure, you know, why these feelings of, I can't be happy
for her. And I know it's a lot to do with me internally. And
I've been praying about it. And part of that that I listened to
the Supernatural Saturday from last weekend as well. And that
really talked to me and made me realize that I'm the one on the
beach, criticizing everyone, instead of going out. Because I
haven't really been dating. I'm trying to get back out there
now. But, you know, so I struggle with jealousy for a
while. So I'm trying to like figure out how to get out of
it.
I appreciate you sharing that with us. At first, the reason I
was trying to jump in is because we have to be careful. Like I
wanted you to share, but we also have to be careful that we
don't say things that could be slanderous towards someone that's
not here. So that's where we have to kind of toe that line
really carefully. But I'm glad that you shared what you did. And
I my question actually isn't about the jealousy. We'll go
there in a minute. But my first question for you is, you know,
you said you really resonated with being the one on the beach
criticizing everyone. So when is the first time you remember,
just feeling really critical of someone that, like in your life
that you felt like they got something that you wanted, and
you felt like you were critical of them?
Probably that friend I was referring to.
Hey, when? When was the first time?
Probably when she got married the first time. And of course,
not married. But because I it's, it seemed like everyone was
getting what I wanted. And like you and my brother, my brother
got married when he's younger than me, and has two kids now.
So and
so at the core, is it that you don't believe God cares about
you?
I think it used to be like that. I'm getting better. Feeling you
know, feeling that I my relationship with the Lord has
grown a lot, especially when joining this program.
Yeah. But okay, and I believe you. But I just did this
session this past Monday with the heartwork group about God's
care. And a lot of times we we will grow in our understanding
of God's care for us. But we will still struggle at the core.
If we have any kind of abandonment or neglect when we
were kids. And in those times, if we partnered with that God
cares about other people more than me, then that will show up
in other relationships that are in our life. And this friend
seems to be one of those relationships where he's showing
up the job. And the jealousy, you know, you all that tends to
be
Rooted in like hatred and self-hatred and all kinds of stuff, which goes back into wounds of like not believing that you're cared about and sadness and resentment. I mean, it's all kind of all kinds of stuff balled up in there.
So, I would just encourage you to ask the Lord to show you like if there are any areas where you don't really fully, I'm not saying you don't believe it at all but like fully believe that he cares about you, just as much as he cares about someone
else. Yeah, like, like I just heard in my spirit like second best. So do you believe your second best.
Probably yeah that's.
Yeah.
Okay, so if that is true, if that is something you partnered with at some point when you were a kid. You have to come out of agreement with that, because that isn't true because God can take you and take you to the front of the line just like you can do that for anybody
else in this room tonight.
But guess what, God can take everybody to the front of the line at the same time.
Truth.
Because God is able to help all of you all get to where he wants to take you, but he wants you to get there, healthy and whole.
I feel like the underlying stuff with the jealousy, with this same friend. When you said that about her getting married the first time I heard the word resentment so the Bible talks about not having a bitter root.
And that I feel like goes together with the resentment for you because when we have resentments that are unresolved and those remain unhealed, that's where it can turn into the bitter root.
Okay, so pray into those a little bit, you know, forgiving her first for whatever you might need to get that forgiveness prayer sheet out and work through some forgiveness forgive yourself for some stuff if that comes up.
Okay, so I'm going to talk a little bit about how we can help each other.
So, you know, maybe parents if they tended to put your siblings before you in situations, you know, some parents will actually say, like my mom on social media told everybody who her favorite kid was.
This was before she died.
Yeah, you all guess what?
It wasn't me.
It was other parents, you know, that are not healthy my mom, you know, just really operated in a lot of unhealthy stuff like that a lot of manipulation and control.
And she was mad at me because I confronted her behind the scenes. I don't do stuff on social media. I'm not going to confront people out in the open like that I like to do it the way it should happen.
And I was talking to her trying to talk through something and she didn't like it and so she went to social media. And so I'm using that as an example because I've, I've had to forgive my mom for that, you know, for putting my siblings before me and a lot of situations.
And God has shown me a lot he's given me a lot of compassion for my mom.
And I'm not going to excuse those things, but I have understanding into why she did it.
So I want to encourage you all we're at 929 you I can't believe this hour and a half went so fast. I know I have hands still up. I'm so sorry. I wish I could get to everybody. Sometimes it just takes time, I would love for you all to go ahead and put in your groups.
And I will come and I can coach you there because I care about what you're going to say and I want you to feel seen, known and heard as well. And if you will do that I will definitely keep an eye out tonight and tomorrow for those posts in the groups.
I hope this was a blessing to all hope you got some freedom. God is so good you all soak in the goodness of God.
Also, for those that do struggle with believing that God cares about you I posted this for my heart work groups this week Psalm 145 has several verses a talk about God's care for us.
So, check that out. And let me pray for us father. Thank you so much that you, man, you're just so good.
Your mercy is new every morning I thank you that even tonight. As we go to sleep.
God that you would help us to hear what your spirit is saying about us to us for us for our futures.
You say yes to us Lord you say blessing you say life you say the word live over us.
Even while we sleep, God, we thank you that you would give us
Salem rest, that you would protect us from every attack of
the enemy. We thank you that you had just about. And we thank you
God that we don't have to fear, we don't have to be afraid. God
help us to grow in the understanding of your love for
us, that we would become rooted firmly fixed and rooted in the
understanding of who you are as love, who you are as faithful,
who you are as kind, who you are as good, who you are as joy. And
that we would grow and just see your glory manifested in our
life more and more and more every day. We just thank you in
advance for everything that you've done everything you are
going to do in the days ahead in Jesus name. Amen. God bless you
all. Have a good night, everyone. Bye