All right. Welcome, ladies. Today is, what, Tuesday, September 17th. This is your live
check-in call here in Phase 2. I am Carla Johnson. I am one of your coaches in Phase
2. So, welcome. I was just telling Nicole here, I've been in this program. Bethany and
I actually walked through this program together with Jackie a couple of years ago. And so,
I am a success story. I am now married to my husband. We just celebrated one year here
a couple of weeks ago. We went to Napa Valley for our anniversary trip. So, welcome. I've
been where you've been. I've walked through that season. And I've, you know, listened
to Jackie numerous and countless times. And she always, she has a way. God really, really
uses her as an amazing vessel. So, I'm excited to be here with y'all today and, you know,
just pour into you and give back to you all what, you know, people were able to do for
me. So, is there anybody that is on the call right now? I know we still got some more people
popping in. That is, this is their first week in Phase 2. Go ahead and raise your avatar hand
if you can't be on camera. And ladies, if you can be on camera, we just want to get into good
practice and start coming out of hiding and go ahead and get on video. It's just us ladies. So,
if, you know, you still are in pajamas or your hair and makeup's not done, it's totally fine.
But I also know some of you are at work too. So, I understand. But if you can, go ahead and come
on camera. Let's see your beautiful face. So, Blessie, you are new to Phase 2. Welcome. So,
what I'm going to do is I'm going to go ahead and go over some housekeeping items. If you've
been with us before, many of these you have already heard that we always put, we always do
these recordings and we post them. So, we go through them because someone who's watching in
replay may need to hear those housekeeping items. So, I'm going to go ahead. I'm trying to get
better with my timing. So, I'm going to go ahead and set a timer to kind of keep me on track
because I want to always make time for you all to share at the end. So, all right, housekeeping
items. So, reminder that in Phase 2, you have five videos in your content. We ask that you watch
one video per week. There's a reason for that is because there's so much good information.
We really do want you to be able to sit with that and process it, journal, pray, ask the Lord to
reveal any highlighted things that he wants to show you for you to be working on throughout the
week, okay? So, just be watching one a week, okay? I know it's easy for us to want to watch them all and
that's fine, but make sure you go back and you really are processing one video per week and you're
putting things into practice that you're learning in that video, okay? So, then once you've done that,
it's your opportunity to come into the app and share with us what you received, what
ahas did you have through that video. So, make sure that you're coming and you're sharing with us
the process of Phase 2, okay? It's super, super important, you know, let us know your current
situation, all those kinds of things, what you're processing. It's a way for you to really glean
what this program has to offer, okay? And again, I am a success story from this program. I have
gone through this program. I have worked the program. I totally can attest to utilizing the teaching
and putting it into practice, okay? It doesn't mean that it's not going to be hard, okay?
Like Jackie said, it doesn't have to be easy. It just has to be worth it, but I can only tell you
that when you put it into process, it really, truly, truly, you'll come out with some amazing
breakthroughs and you'll be in awe of what God can do, okay? So, if you are coming out of Phase 1
for the first time, you're now cleared to date, right? So, we put you on that sabbatical, that
dating sabbatical. We wanted you really just to focus on heartwork in Phase 1, but now you're in
Phase 2. So, yes, you are allowed to date. So, we've even given you a seven-date challenge,
and I know for a lot of you, because it was like this for me, you got a little freaked out by
seven dates. Like, oh my goodness, how
How am I gonna do this?
Don't sweat it, okay?
You're not gonna have to finish your seven dates
in order to move on to phase three, okay?
Y'all are gonna be on your own pace, your own journey.
What I encourage you to do
is not play the comparison game, all right?
God is working a good work in you,
so that's what you need to focus on.
Not all the other things, okay?
We can partner with each other,
we can cheer each other on, we can encourage each other,
we can learn from one another,
but don't start putting yourself into the comparison, okay?
Again, I reiterate, come to phase two
and post about all the things, okay?
This can be hard work things,
because believe it or not,
hard work doesn't just go away
just because you're out of phase one.
Hard work is a continued process, okay?
And dating is going to peel that next layer of that onion
and can really unfold some other healings and revealings
that will take place as you step into those scenarios, okay?
So post about hard work things,
post about your dating situations and scenarios,
what you're learning and applying on those videos,
any breakthroughs that you're having,
and celebrations, like we wanna hear about that.
If you have questions about any of the content
or something that you're going through
and you're not sure how to navigate,
because remember, you've learned new information,
so you're gonna do things differently this time, okay?
I can attest I did things all wrong before this program.
I can even attest and share with you
that I did some things that were not right
even in this program,
but I came and I brought it to the group,
I was vulnerable, I shared, I opened up about it,
I didn't hide in shame, I didn't put a lot of guilt, okay?
I didn't stay there,
there might've been times that I had that,
I didn't stay there,
but I came and I was vulnerable in the group
and God was able to show up, okay?
So please, please, please make sure
that you are coming and posting all those things.
When you are posting,
now that we've moved everything into the app,
please be mindful that you're clicking on the correct tab
when you're posting in the app.
So especially in the Ask a Coach tab,
this is super important
because that's where we really wanna make sure
that we are answering your questions as quickly as possible.
And because of that,
we're asking that any of you ladies,
like we want y'all encouraging one another
and commenting on what y'all are posting,
we just ask that in the Ask a Coach tab
that you leave that only for coaches to respond, okay?
If there's wins in the win category and wins post
or relationship milestones,
or even in that all category,
you may go ahead and respond in those,
but make sure that you leave the Ask a Coach questions
to just the coaches, okay?
When you're posting in the group,
we ask that you don't link or promote
any other authors or speakers or influencers
or pastors or websites or anything like that.
We just can't,
we can't do all of that.
And we really wanna make sure
that what y'all are receiving in this app
and in this program aligns with what we're teaching.
So sometimes I know there's some really great sermons
out there, especially on singleness and things like that.
But I've also seen some sermons out there
that teach on singleness that don't align
with some of the things that we teach, okay?
So we just wanna make sure that we're doing that.
So please, please, please don't attach any of those links
in your comments, okay?
I know there's been a couple of you
that have made videos in the app.
I'm an external processor, so I totally get it.
Sometimes you just have to talk it out.
It's a lot easier just to verbalize it and not type it.
If you do that, we really, really ask that you consider
to keep those videos under three minutes, okay?
I know sometimes that gets hard.
I struggled with that.
That's why I have a timer right now,
so that I stay on topic.
The best way to do that is really just to jot down notes
and to keep yourself accountable, okay?
When you are, see, look, there goes my timer
and I'm still not done.
So I gave myself a few minutes
because I knew I'd possibly go over.
Engage with one another, connect with one another.
So again, do this on post, just don't comment
on any of those ask the coach posts.
When you're responding, make sure
that you're being encouraging and positive.
Really refrain from giving advice
and coaching other people.
It's really important.
This is your all's phase to really receive, okay?
I know some of us that have a teaching gift
and a counseling gift.
gift and advice-giving gift.
It's really easy for us to want to pour that
into other people, but we really want you to be
in this posture of receiving, especially in a phase two.
So really, if you struggle with, you know,
because you're a teacher or you're a counselor,
just really, really encourage yourself not to do that, okay?
Come to as many live check-ins as you can, okay?
During that four and five weeks that you're here with us
in phase two, listen, ladies, it's a short season,
and again, it's designed to give you that extra support.
So utilize it to your benefit and get as much
from it as you can.
And last on our housekeeping list is navigating the app.
Okay, I know a lot of you have been sharing
that it gets a little bit, it's a bit of a struggle
right now because sometimes the app shuts down.
That happens for me too, and we are working
with the developers to kind of get all those kinks out.
One thing that I can tell you is that when I'm in the app
and I am on my phone and I'm trying to respond to you,
ladies, and then I'm sure it's happened to me,
and I know it's happened to a couple of you,
where you're in there and you're typing,
and maybe you're responding to one of us coaches
that have responded to you, and then all of a sudden
the app shuts down and it just, your screen goes blank, okay?
That happens to me.
I totally get it.
I know it gets frustrating.
So the way that I've circumvented it
and what's helped me the most is using my desktop,
using my computer, okay?
So I know we're on the go all the time
and it's super nice to have our phones on hand
to be able to do that.
If you're out and about, just put it on pause
and then come back and then respond on the desktop
if you're noticing that.
Sometimes it just helps to shut the app down
and give your phone a rest and then go back into it later.
But any of that stuff for navigating that app,
there is a training tab in your app.
I would strongly recommend that you click
on the Tech Training app.
And so it's a five minute video
that really walks you through the app
if you haven't already done so.
Also, ladies, it's super important to be sure
to check out that resource tab.
So we've got the SpiritMate Match and the Affiliate Program.
All of that info is in the resource tab.
So please, please, please go check it out.
Please do not email us about anything in that resource tab.
Okay, so if you send us emails about the SpiritMate Match,
the Affiliate Program, anything of that nature,
we are not going to respond to you, okay?
The only emails that we are replying to currently
that we're asking you to email us about
is when you've finished phase two content,
you've gone through all the videos,
you've been in the phase two for at least four to five weeks,
you've come to some Tuesday Live calls,
and you are ready to move over to phase three.
When you are in phase three,
that's how you get to phase three,
is right now, currently, you have to email us
to get to phase three, cool?
All right, all right.
So Sarah, that is a good question.
So how long have you been in phase three?
How long have you been in phase three now?
All right, I'll just unmute, because it's easier.
I've been in phase three,
like I just found out that they moved me to phase three
today, but I've been in phase two.
Wow, yeah.
Yeah, you're good to be here today.
Ladies, it's really important for you to,
once you get to phase three, stick with phase three, okay?
Don't try to double dip here, okay?
It's a smaller community, all right?
So when you're transitioning from phase two to phase three,
I know a couple of you ladies do wanna come
to a check-in or two, maybe for a week, that's good.
Once you get into phase three, leave phase two
to be for the ladies that are currently in phase two, okay?
Because we go through the teachings of the videos,
and it just, as you can see on your screen, ladies,
it's a smaller community, okay?
We really do this to be able to pour into you,
as you're transitioning from phase one to phase three.
It's kind of that interim.
It's there to help you navigate going from not dating
and working on your heart work,
and then processing through, okay?
Because some of you ladies are not gonna be ready
to date in phase two, and that's totally fine, okay?
If God hasn't given you the clear
and there's no peace there, that's fine too.
Doesn't mean that you can't glean things from here.
And then, as you get ready to move into phase three,
there's a huge community out there in phase three,
and there's great teachings.
So, a lot of phase three,
there's times where we do invite you ladies in phase two
to come to our phase three teachings.
actually one a month or one every two months,
but we really want to help y'all get through
the content that's in phase two, okay?
And once you've gone through that content,
now you're ready for phase three, okay?
There's just gonna be lots more connection there.
So yes, Mickey, you're still working on videos in phase two
and that's perfectly fine, okay?
Ladies, we do encourage four to five weeks in phase two,
but we understand that life happens.
Not all of you are gonna be on the same like journey
and pace and we totally get that.
There is grace here in this community.
So if it takes you a little bit longer,
that's totally fine, okay?
After many months, if we kind of see that, you know,
you might just need a little nudging out the nest,
we will be here to support you in that
and we will help you along the way.
But we're not just gonna like, you know,
not give you grace and not be gentle with y'all, okay?
Look, I've been there, I've been where you're at,
like we all get it, okay?
Yes, there's times for tough love,
but we are also doing tough love out of love, okay?
So don't stress about any of that.
So yes, Kelly, you sent an email yesterday
about the app on your iPad.
Okay, this is good.
You have it on your phone, but on the iPad,
it's not showing that you have any groups, okay?
So yeah, don't send an email for that.
I would suggest in, well, are you have,
if you have access to the app in your phone,
there is, again, in that tech training,
there's a place for you ladies
to share all of the glitches that you're seeing,
whether it's in the SpiritMate match intake form,
whether it's the affiliate program,
because you've been trying to set that up,
if it's the app in general,
there is a resource in that app to communicate to us
all the technical difficulties that you're having, okay?
That's how you'll communicate that with us.
So you can, you know, I can't promise that every,
that your email is going to get answered, okay?
So just try to do it there, okay?
All right, been a little longer on the housekeeping
than I would like to,
but I think it's all good, important information, okay?
We got lots more people on, which is awesome.
If you can come on camera, please do.
I know some of you are at work, but again,
if you're in, even if you're in the car
or you don't have your hair and makeup done,
you can come on camera, it's just us ladies.
I can tell you many times I've come on camera here
on these Zooms looking not put together,
and it's okay, it's just us ladies, all right?
All right, so I wanna go ahead
and get into our teaching of the week.
How many really great things,
please raise your hand if you make an effort
to get to Supernatural Saturday.
Raise your avatar hand or raise your physical hand
if you're on camera, okay?
All right, so I got Mickey and Blessie, awesome, love it.
I see Kelly is raising her hand,
Sarah and Nicole, awesome, awesome, awesome.
All right, yes, ladies, okay?
If you are not raising your hand,
I really want to encourage you
to get to those Supernatural Saturdays.
We do them every week, Jackie comes on,
she gives, I mean, she is anointed.
Let me tell you the words that, you know,
God speaks through her are always so timely.
And there's a lot of breakthrough that can happen
when you just receive what she's teaching on Saturday.
Bethany's on those Supernatural Saturdays as well.
So I can attest that it's just good, okay?
If you can't make it on Saturdays,
I oftentimes I can't because I've got, you know, three kids,
my son is in travel baseball.
So we're always up at the butt crack of dawn on Saturdays,
like driving 30 minutes, an hour away
to these baseball tournaments and all that kind of stuff.
So I can't always get to that, but we put them in replay.
So watch them in replay, ladies.
I can't, I'm like, I've spent the last couple of days
going back and listening to Supernatural Saturdays,
especially from the last two weeks.
Ladies, it's so good, okay?
So I'm going to talk a little bit about that.
I don't want to spoil it,
but I really feel like Holy Spirit
is on what Jackie is speaking.
And, you know, God has been speaking to me through her
and even speaking to me in some other areas as well
that falls into line with, you know,
what she's been sharing over the last couple of weeks.
So, you know, one of the things that Jackie
really emphasized, and I can attest to this
just having been through this program,
is that when God gives us a word or a promise,
it will come with a process.
So ladies, you all are in this single season right now, okay?
experience some stuff. All right. I was in a single season too.
I was in a single season for 40 years and I went through some stuff.
And once I stepped into and I knew that God had this promise of marriage to me,
you know, there was this process, there was,
there was some struggle at times. Okay. You know?
And so, you know,
she really talks a lot about that and I really want to emphasize,
you know, the importance of understanding that
it's going to get hard at times. Okay.
And I'm seeing that often in the roll calls and seeing that in our,
our life sessions. And, um,
I get it cause I've experienced it too. I was,
I was going through that same thing. All right. And, and then,
and one of the, the supernatural Saturdays, I think it was last week, you know,
what stuck out to me is what, you know, Jackie shared is,
are you going to give up or are you going to get up?
All right. As Christians,
we're going to walk through trials and tribulations,
but the good news is that Jesus has overcome it.
Okay. So there is hard seasons as a Christian,
we're going to go through trials and tribulations.
It will be in your single season too. But what I will tell you, okay.
And what I really appreciate that Jackie did,
because I wished I would have heard more of this
when I was going through the program.
And that's not that it wasn't being spoken.
I wasn't paying attention to it.
And so he talks about a little bit
about marriage is going to have seasons of hard, just like singleness.
Okay.
And that this season that you're in and the heart and the struggle that you're
going through is preparing you for what you're going to step into in
marriage.
You'll hear Jackie oftentimes say that marriage is God's
maturity plan for humankind. He's not joking y'all. All right.
Some of you have even been married at one time or another, and probably can,
can, you know,
confirm that there are seasons of just hard in marriage.
You know, I just celebrated one year with my husband.
I had never been married before and ladies,
I'm going to be real with you. It has been a very, very difficult year for me.
I thought single was hard. Ooh, marriage has been even harder for me.
Okay. And I'm thankful for this community.
And I'm thankful to this program because it was the tools and the
teachings that I got and that I practice that fortified
me to get to this season that I'm in now where I'm blending a family
and I'm stepping into marriage. You know, we're my husband and I I'm 41 now.
He's 40. Okay. We've, we've been through life, you know, we're, we're,
we're older now, you know, we've had more life. It's not like we were, you know,
18, 19 years old, getting married. We're older.
We have some stuff that comes with it. I had some stuff in my life.
There's hard work that I had to go through with the things that I experienced.
And then he had a previous marriage. He was married for 11 years.
And his, his words are,
it was 11 years of hell on earth for him.
He was married to a woman that was borderline personality disorder.
And it was very, very hard. And you know,
God took her though. She's passed.
She had cancer and is now healed in heaven,
but he's worked through a season. And so there was just hardness that,
that happened.
And now we're stepping into a new season and there's some,
still some hard here,
but God has seen us through all of that and God's going to see you through this
single season and he's preparing you.
So I really think it's important for y'all to listen to those supernatural
Saturdays because ladies, this community is here to lift each other up.
You know, Jackie talked about lifting each other's sails. So, you know,
I, I got, I got the husband, I got the promise. Okay.
It came with preparation, you know,
and I got here because the program and what Jackie was Jackie did and the advice
was given. But I will tell you, it wasn't easy.
The singleness wasn't easy and it's still not easy.
And that is why I'm here now. It's why I love what I do.
I love that I can pour into you ladies, because truth be told,
it actually helps lift me up too. You know,
those supernatural Saturday calls that I just listened to this week from the last
couple of weeks, I was like, man, that really is helping me in my season.
Okay. So I just want to, you know,
but put that on you ladies.
And I know I think last week I talked to y'all about,
you know, something that I wanted to share
and it goes hand in hand and I think it was very timely.
And so I'm thankful that it's being brought up again
because I want to give you all this visual
because it helps me and I think it's gonna help y'all too.
So my husband and I, we went to Napa
for our one year anniversary.
And, you know, we went to a bunch of different wineries
and what was interesting to me
was that at a couple of these wineries,
they had glass containers of soil and dirt.
And apparently in Napa,
there's all these different areas
that have different soils
and certain wines come from certain,
like it's all like this art,
like it really is this like science.
It's really fascinating.
But one of the wineries that we were at,
there was a table of all these things of dirt
from all these different areas
and where they get their grapes for their wine and stuff.
And it was really interesting and it was really profound
and I felt Holy Spirit on it
when our tour guide shared this.
He was explaining to us and if you looked at the soil
and I will try to remember to post a picture
in the app for you ladies of some of the soil.
Some of the soil had like straight up rocks in it,
like huge rocks.
And he said, if you look at it,
when you look at it, you don't think to yourself,
oh, that's good soil to plant vegetation in.
And I'm like, yeah, no, I'll be like,
I am a killer of anything like plant wise, okay?
So I'm like, yeah, I definitely,
but I know I'm like, I'm not planting anything in there
cause there's just no way.
I mean, I can hardly keep anything.
A little house plant alive,
let alone something growing in this like rocky,
dry looking soil.
And so he said, but in fact,
that is actually really good soil for the vine,
for the grapes.
And the reason being is because it's got,
there's so much stress taking place in that soil
that it really forces the vines to get down
and get to the root or get to the source of the nutrients.
It has to work harder to get to the source
through the stress and the struggle of the soil.
And then he says, but that type of soil,
and when the vine gets to the source,
goes deep to the source,
that's what produces the more abundant, sweeter,
more highly concentrated fruit.
It gives a more plentiful harvest of those grapes.
And those are the grapes that produce
some of the best wines.
And I was just like, whoa, like reference the Bible
and how oftentimes it talks about Jesus being
like the vine, right?
Like, oh, like, think about that.
So the stress, if you go through struggles right now, ladies
it's just calling you deeper to the source.
And when you go deeper to the source,
it is going to produce such an amazing fruit.
It's, God will use it, okay?
So again, I just, I leave that with y'all.
I hope it blesses you.
So I really, I just, I wanted to highlight that
before we go into talking a little bit about our video,
the online dating video,
where I'm gonna go over those top 10, okay?
So I hope you got something from that,
but talk about struggles, right?
We're gonna talk about online dating, okay?
So I know online dating is not always
everybody's favorite thing,
and there are some struggles with online dating.
So raise your hand if you are currently online dating
and you've experienced some, you know, rockiness, okay?
Some, anybody, anybody?
Yep, Nicole, it's there.
All right, I totally get it.
You know, online dating wasn't my favorite either,
but you know what?
God gave me the green light for it.
So I listened, I stepped into obedience.
So just know I've been there with you, okay?
So we're just gonna go over the top 10 of online dating,
and then we are going to do a little quick breakout,
and then we'll get to your questions, okay?
So online dating.
Go in with a fresh attitude or don't go in at all, okay?
it's really important that you really have the peace of going with it and then come in with a
Positive attitude and then do it if you already have some negative
Mindsets take some time to process through that before jumping in because anybody that's on online dating will attest
There's just some not-so-great things about it at times, but it doesn't have to ruin our experience
Okay, so it's good to have a good fresh attitude with it when you do online dating number two go in to actually date
All right, get to know yourself practice your dating skill. All right
I know sometimes it's easy just to want to stay behind your screen and just do the texting back and forth
But really go in with it with the mindset that you're gonna learn a little bit about yourself
You're gonna practice these new dating skills that you're learning and you're actually gonna have some
Face to face interaction. Okay, whether that's on video or in person
Okay, if it's if they're long-distance, yeah, it's gonna be on video from for a lot of it
Okay, eventually within six weeks. We encourage you all you're on long-distance dating within six weeks
Get get in person. Okay
I can attest to that because I my husband and I were long-distance
It was I think we met each other after three weeks. So it worked out worked out well in our favor. Okay
Number three be willing to deal with the scammers the ghosters the wishy-washy men, you know, just pass them by ladies
You're gonna have them. All right
It's not your job to teach them how to date though. Okay, I know it's really easy
It was always I always wanted to tell them like especially the guys that really ticked me
I wanted to tell them what's up. I had to learn to let it go
Okay, it's not our job to teach them how to date it's not our job to share the gospel
Not our job to especially with online dating. Okay, if yes, we want it
We want to share the gospel with people. You don't have to do it when you're online dating or dating in general
Okay, that's not an avenue to do it in. All right, so
And then don't teach these men how to date the way that you date
Okay, you'll have Jackie and us coaches helping you these don't have it. Okay
It's not your job to teach them the heart work either
Okay, so if you notice that you see that, you know, some of these men are just really really stuck
you know, that's just be ready to deal with that and
You know come into this community and share with us what your experience and we'll help you through that process. Okay?
Number four we're gonna talk about your profile. So pick your best photos that are close-up and that are full length
Okay, don't put other people in your photos, it's very distracting
All right, and try not to cover up your face with sunglasses men want to see your face. They want to see your eyes
They want to see your smile. So make sure you're smiling. You don't want to have that RBF. All right
So, you know what? I'm talking about. It's all that resting space. All right, we don't want to have that in our photos smile
All right, men love women to have a nice smile. Okay
So make sure you're posting those type of photos
Positive about who you are and what you like to do and what you're looking for. So
Renee even encourages in that video like don't don't go to Jesus. Okay, you can share that
You have a relationship with Jesus, but you don't want it to get the point that you sound a little preachy. Okay?
That can actually distract men even Christian men for wanting to get to know you
Okay, because there's there's and there's unhealed Christian people out there, too
So some people have had experience with that and then make sure on those profiles that you're filling in all the places
So there's lots of different
Online sites have places for photos and answering questions or things for videos. Just fill it out to its full capacity
Okay
Number five focus on just one or two sites at a time. Some of the free ones are Facebook dating
That's actually what I used
I didn't find my husband on Facebook dating
But that's where I got a majority of my dates and honestly, I didn't have a lot of horrible experiences through that leave it or not
Okay. Yeah. Did I come across the men that weren't Christian? Yeah, did some of them I still go on dates with yeah
They're still nice guys now, I knew they weren't aligned with some of my beliefs
So after a couple of days, I was like, thanks, but no thing, you know, best of luck to you
I think hinge is another one
That has a free version. So just focus on one or two at a time
Otherwise, you're working like it working it like a job and I don't know about y'all
But when I was single, I was a single mom. I didn't have time for that. I really had to make sure that I
Allotted appropriate time so I didn't want to edit
when bombard myself.
Okay, number six, we encourage you
to only text for about a week,
and then move to a video.
You can use Zoom.
Zoom is actually really great,
especially the free version,
because it will cut you off after 40 minutes,
because we really don't want that first interaction,
especially on video, to last longer than an hour,
because then you kind of run into the territory
of going too deep too quick.
So 40 minutes is kind of like Zoom cuts you off
and like kicks you off.
So you can move the video, you can use Zoom,
or you can move to a phone call.
I still encourage the video.
I get the phone call.
My husband and I did a phone call first,
just so I could hear his voice
and make sure that he was a real person.
But video is just me, it's a little bit better.
And then move to that live date as well.
So if you can do that within a week,
we do encourage you that.
Number seven, so some top things to say
when you're online dating
and you're interacting with men is,
one thing you can say is that you are looking
to date in real life.
You don't want a pen pal, okay?
You're not gonna marry someone
that you have a relationship
that's just solely right here on your phone, okay?
You need to get in person with them, okay?
So you want to date in real life, okay?
And then if guys, if you're saying,
hey, I wanna do a video chat,
I wanna meet in person,
and they keep like blowing you off,
then it's time, okay, move on to the next one, okay?
It's possible that they could be a scammer, all right?
Not saying that happens all the time,
but frequently, if they're reluctant
to have a video call with you or get in person,
it's probably because they're not who they say they are.
All right?
Another thing you can say is,
those are great questions for a live chat
so we can hear each other's tone and inflection.
What, do you wanna go ahead and set that up?
So if they're asking some questions,
like say, I would love to answer that question,
let's go ahead and do it live on video.
What do you say?
You wanna go ahead and set that up?
Those are ways that you can get that video call.
Another thing you can say,
what things do you do that take up your time
that matter to you?
This is where you get,
what is a priority and important in their life?
I use this question to share about my faith.
And I didn't like go real deep, okay?
I just expressed, this is important to me,
this is what matters in my life,
this is how it shows up in my life.
Okay?
And then I would wait and hear,
see if men had the same response
and they maybe shared about their faith.
So that's kind of a way that you can ask.
Now, I'm not gonna say start deep diving
when you get into the faith question,
but it gives you an idea.
What things do you like to do
to decompress, relax, and restore?
That's a good question.
That's a good thing to say.
Another thing is stick to the present day conversations
and what they're wanting to do in the next year or two.
Don't talk so much about the future,
don't talk about the past.
So the next thing is don't overshare your trauma,
your drama, your ex situation, triggers,
or to get too deep into your faith
and don't have those sex conversations.
Okay?
We actually encourage you
not to have those sex conversations
until much later,
once you have been in level two for some time
and then the man is asking
for that exclusive level three relationship.
That's when you're gonna have those conversations
because you're gonna be stepping
into a level three relationship with this person
and you need to make sure that you're lined up
to save yourself for marriage and that they are too.
Because ladies, we've had, even just last week,
someone shared that a guy wanted
to have an exclusive relationship with them
and she just needed a little time to pray on it
and really take some time.
And then they had another conversation, another date,
and they had the abstinent before marriage talk.
And she was adamant
that she was saving herself for marriage.
And he was like, yeah, I don't think I can do that.
Ladies, men will tell you,
take that as truth.
All right?
So if you're in a level two
and you're getting to know somebody
before you step into that level three
and they're telling you,
yeah, no, I plan to have sex
with the person that I'm dating
before I get married to them.
Ladies, that right there,
they're gonna tell you
they're not gonna respect your boundary.
Okay?
So ways to not overshare,
what you can say is,
that's a great question for us to tackle
once we've gotten to know each other a little more.
Another thing, number eight is,
be open to long distance
if you can afford to do it.
do it and you are willing to relocate or if they say they are.
Okay. One of my non-negotiables was I was not moving.
I lived in Florida and I was not moving.
I had no interest in dating anybody that didn't live close to me. Well,
God had a work through my heart and he had a, you know,
he had worked some things through me. And once I let that go,
I met my husband. I thought he lived in Florida and it turns out he was from
Texas. Okay. But I was in a place where I'm like, okay,
I'm willing to see where this goes. And if God wants me to relocate,
then he's going to have to do something.
But I was willing to allow God to take that
pen to write that love story. If that's what he wanted for me now,
um, you know,
my husband worked where I was living, um,
about an hour away and he frequently traveled to Florida.
So I knew we were going to be able to see each other in person.
He was open to helping financially cover the,
the cost of the travel. I knew I had a savings.
I knew I could afford to help out here and there. So it worked. Um,
and like I said, God, God worked it all out. I had to loosely hold it.
I was very adamant about not moving. And then when I let it go,
God gave me the opportunity. Hey, well,
I think your husband is not in your area. Are you going to,
are you going to walk where I want you to walk? And I was like, okay, God,
you're going to have to do something.
And I had a son and his dad lived about 45 minutes away.
His dad would see him every other weekend, one night a week.
And about two days
after my husband and I decided to be exclusive when we talked about what this
was going to look like and what marriage would look like. Um,
if that was God's plan,
my son's dad called me to tell me he was leaving the state of Florida.
So I didn't have to do anything. God was like, I'm opening the door.
I've already got that situation handled. You don't have to stress about it.
I've already taken it. So again, be open to long distance, but know what,
what that entails. So if, if you know, you're like me, you're like,
I'm not moving.
All I ask and all I tell y'all is just hold those things like
non-negotiables loosely. Number nine,
let them know that you want to see them again. If you want to see them again,
if you go on a date and you had a nice time, you don't have to know like, Oh,
I really liked that guy. I want him to be my husband. But if you're like, wow,
that was enjoyable or that was okay. Maybe he was just a little nervous.
Let them know, Hey, thank you. I had a really nice time.
I would love to do this again. Let them know. Okay.
Then let them initiate seeing you again. But here's the thing.
They might not initiate seeing you again if they don't think you want to see
them. Okay. So it's important to let them know that, Hey,
if you enjoyed yourself, let them know and let them know that you would like to
do it again.
And the last thing that I will leave y'all before we jumped into some breakout
questions and groups is it's a yes until it's a no. Okay.
Be willing to have a couple dates with somebody.
I say two or three after two or three dates, you're going to know, yeah,
I don't, I don't think this is going anywhere. Bring it to the group.
Us coaches will, we'll walk you through the process. Okay.
We'll let you know if we think maybe you're responding to that because you're
fearful or maybe you might be a little overcritical. Like that was me.
I was oftentimes very critical guys. All right.
But it's a harder thing than all right. So but bring it to us here.
And again, like y'all are, are grown adult women.
You're allowed to make those choices. I just, again,
I know that the advice works because I've done it and I've done it the wrong
way. I've done it the right way.
I've seen many women come through this community and you know,
they've given guys a second chance, a third date,
and then they ended up marrying the guy. All right.
Some of the women were even like,
I wasn't even physically attracted to this guy and I'm married to him.
So I kind of joke with my husband. That was kind of my experience.
Like I thought my husband was a decent looking guy when I looked at pictures,
but I didn't think he was drop dead gorgeous hot. I thought, okay, yeah,
he's all right. And then once I met,
met him and got to know his heart and I saw just some really amazing qualities.
It just made me, I found myself so attracted to him,
you know, more on a spiritual, intimate, you know,
emotional level and then that physical level came as well. Okay.
So that's, that's, that's all for today on online dating.
I'm going to go ahead and read through some of your questions.
Before I do that, I'm going to go ahead and copy and paste our questions for the breakout session.
I'm going to break y'all out here. So while I'm doing that, ladies, if you are not going to be
able to unmute, please put that in the chat so I can see who that is so that if I put you in a
group, I know to make sure that there's another two people in there if you're not able to.
I'm trying to just for some reason, I didn't copy and paste these questions.
Okay, yes, Judith, you have a question. So we'll get to that. We're going to do the breakouts first
and then I will come back to the group. Okay, so I'm posting the three questions for breakout.
So read through those. As you do that, I'm going to quickly go through and see
if there was any other. Okay, so yeah, listen to the recording if I have. Okay, good, good, good,
good. All right. So yeah, Judith, she loves all those supernatural Saturdays. It's good.
Perfect, perfect, perfect. Okay, so Candy, you're the only one that's I see currently that's not
able to unmute and Melissa. Okay. All right. So I'm going to try to put y'all in groups.
So and Carissa, so lots of you can't. So all right, that's fine.
Questions. So those of you that are going to be able to unmute,
first question is I want you all to start to share what you would say about yourself
in your profile and get feedback from the other person that you're talking with in your breakout
session. So, you know, you don't have to necessarily be like ready for online dating,
but let's just let's practice sharing about yourself. What positive good things can you
talk to talk to somebody about yourself? All right. So share that the number two. So
you will share for like no more than 90 seconds and then let the next person go. And then when
everybody's answered the first question, move on to number two.
What are you doing outside of online dating to get back out there? Okay. So go ahead and do that.
And then the last one, this is going to be a challenging one because it kind of goes into
what, you know, Supernatural Saturday, what I really felt like Holy Spirit was speaking through
Jackie is ladies, I want you to confess to each other what is an excuse you've been using to
avoid stepping into a promise that God has given you. So for some of you, it might be the promise
of marriage. Have you been using any excuses? So confess what those excuses are. Okay. And here's
the thing. I see them and some of y'all confess them in roll call. So I know, I know some of you
do it. All right. We all do it. All right. I give a lot of excuses, even in my current life of how,
you know, things are just not going to get better. It's just going to always be hard blending a
family. No, I'm using excuses. All right. It doesn't have to be. All right. God, God can use it all.
So when you confess that, I want you then to share with each other how you're going to stop
allowing that to be an excuse. Okay. So we got the question. I'm going to go ahead and
set up these breakout rooms.
Let's see. All right. So I think it was Melissa, Candy and Chris are unable to mute. So if one of,
if you are in there with one of them and there's nobody else, give me time and I will shift you to
somebody else. But I'm going to go ahead and do it where there's two or three people in a group.
All right. So go ahead and join those.
Okay. Go ahead and join ladies, if you can. Oh, wait, I have to open all rooms. Sorry about that.
All right. There's a couple of you that I do need to move.
Okay.
Hey, Chris, I know you can't do that, but if you could still step into the room,
I have you and one other person that cannot join in a room together.
Okay.
All right, we're back.
Welcome back.
So now we're going to go ahead and take questions.
So I got four hands up.
We're a little bit past that hour.
So I see four hands up currently, so ladies, do me a favor, okay, because we want to be
mindful of everybody's time, especially in the middle of the day, because I know a lot
of you have work and things that you got to get done during the day.
So I'm going to ask that you partner with me in keeping things short, brief, and powerful.
And if you have more than one question, just give me your first question, and then let's
get everybody through at least their one question.
And then as time allows, I'll stay on and we can take additional questions.
If you have more than one, just give me your first one and keep things short, brief, and
powerful.
Okay, so let's see.
I got Judith.
You are up first, then Sarah, then Nicole, and then we'll move to Kelly.
Okay.
So Judith, you said you wanted to share with us, are you in a dating situation, like what's
going on?
No, I know, but I mean, you know, because I've been coming and you've been, so here's
the deal.
No, I'm trying to get myself to, you know, get, I am moving towards, not trying to get
myself, I'm moving towards completing a profile and putting it online.
And I had a great talk in the group with Julie, who, you know, both, well, you know, I, anyway,
I don't want to share with her stuff this, but you know, this whole idea of practice
dating and I'd say nothing about online dating was not really, not at all what I believed
about what God had for me.
So I have just been, you know, joining it, but here's the thing that happened.
So, you know, when I did all the things, meeting the, you know, getting out there and blah,
blah, blah.
So there's a new aquatic center that I've been going to, I love to swim.
And last week there was a man in the, after the lap pool closed, there's a resistance
walk and he was in there and, oh, and then there's a soaking pool outside of warm pool,
kind of like a hot tub, but not quite.
And it was a beautiful day and I was walking past and it's a huge hot tub.
And I said, oh, there's a little bit of heaven, isn't it?
And he said, yep, heaven on earth.
And you know, I always do that kind of stuff.
I talk to people, but then I was, I was by my car waiting because the kids were coming
and I was going to meet my kids and grandkids.
And he came out and I forget what he, how he started chatting.
It was natural, but anyway, it was about, he was going to this.
And I said, oh, wait, you're the man from Fernley from last week, right?
And I thought last week, I thought, you know, I should have just introduced myself when
we were in the resistance walk together, but it didn't occur to me.
He just said, oh, he was down from Fernley.
And he said, yeah, I'm the man from Fernley.
Well, anyway, we just talked, it was natural.
And he, he was talking to me about elephant garlic and then he said, and for me, those
are Republican ears.
And I said, oh, I said, well, I, I mean, that they'd be Republican ears for me too.
And then we started talking about a proposition on the Nevada ballot and he said, hey, don't
go anywhere.
Seriously.
I just want to go to my car and get you information.
My truck's right there.
And he did.
And he came back.
And by that time, my kids were starting to come, but you know, he was saying, yeah, he
moved from California and he just couldn't, he, he belonged to a yacht club.
He loved to sail.
Now, you know, this guy swims, he, water is my thing.
You know, you speak in my language when you talk water.
And so we were talking and he said, no, I couldn't take the taxes and where my money
was going.
I know, no offense to anybody who lives in California.
I get it.
But I also understood what he was saying.
And he said, so six years ago, I sold it all and moved to Fernley.
That's about 45 minutes, an hour from where I live in Reno.
And I said, okay, so have you ever kayaked?
Because I love to kayak.
And he said, no, I've never tried that.
And he said, and I said, I'm sure you'd love it if you love to sail and you love to, because
So tell me, did you, did you connect with him?
No, here's what I got to know, what I should do.
That's why I'm telling you this.
I'm sorry.
It took this to, and that was the short answer.
So he left and he came back to my, he came back with his, you know, his, with the voting
stuff in his card.
It's a business card with his name and his email and his number.
And that's when we, I think we started then talking about the kayak and he said, hey,
well then why don't you take me?
Why don't you take me?
I said, well, we could rent kayaks on Lake Tahoe.
And he said, yeah, can you believe it?
I had not been to Tahoe.
I'm like, how could you not have been to Tahoe?
That's crazy.
Okay.
So I don't want to.
Yeah.
So tell me.
What's your question?
Okay.
We got to get to your question.
Okay.
Well, the question is.
I love hearing all this, but we do, we do have.
Well, this is the question.
We're there.
This is the question, you wouldn't know.
What you got?
No, that's.
Well, maybe you would, I wouldn't know.
So I have this number and I have this email
and I would have to drive separately to Lake Tahoe
and it's off season now.
So I'm not sure, I mean, I don't have a kayak now.
I had one back east, but we would have to rent kayaks.
And I was thinking about calling back,
but I need the, or emailing them,
but I don't wanna do that from my email
or from my phone number, I don't know how to do that.
Okay, so set up a Google number.
How do you, okay, I'll just set up.
Yeah, just go on Google and then set up,
like I've never set up a Google number,
but I know it's fairly easy.
I think my husband has done it before.
I'll just do a video.
Google how to set up a good,
and it will walk you through the process.
So I would say, set up a Google number.
Okay.
And give them a phone call and say, hey,
I don't know if you remember me.
I'm Judith.
We met da, da, da, da, da.
Keep it, you know, keep it brief and be like,
I really, you know, I would really,
I enjoyed having a chat with you.
I would love for us to connect.
Do you have any time free this week or say,
are you free next Saturday?
Are you free?
You know, do you have, are you free anytime on the weekend?
Don't worry about the details right now.
Don't worry about what you guys are gonna go do.
Just initiate a contact and say,
I really enjoyed connecting with you.
Do you have any time to meet up at some point
in the next week or whatever works for you?
Okay.
Here's my, I don't know about that.
So again, the kayak thing.
So you're saying Lake Tahoe, like, is that,
how far is that from you?
Well, it's a little bit.
It's like an hour.
Is there anything local?
Okay.
So maybe it's not kayaking,
but maybe you guys can just go grab coffee.
Well, here's what I was gonna suggest to him
because I think the kayaking thing,
first of all, I don't want to take him kayaking.
It would be fine to go together,
but I don't want to do all the work for that.
You know, I mean, so what I was gonna suggest is,
hey-
Just drop the hanky.
You want to meet up with him.
Yeah, well, I was gonna say,
but about water, only not just to do anything.
I was gonna say, hey,
why don't we meet at Sand Harbor in Lake Tahoe,
which is the closest point,
and see what their rental situation is.
They have a place there.
You can also have lunch or coffee.
We can walk.
If you haven't been in Tahoe, you know,
it will give you a chance to see the lake.
How far is Tahoe again?
I'm sorry.
I think you answered that.
No, it's maybe 50 minutes to Sand Harbor.
Okay.
Yeah, it's a distance.
It's not, I mean, he was the one who suggested Tahoe.
I mean, he was good with Tahoe,
so I don't feel fine.
Here's the thing.
I think you can just throw some things out there,
but let him lead.
Let him lead to what, like,
just say, hey, I would like to get together with you.
That's it, and let him initiate
or throw some suggestions out.
Let him reciprocate, okay?
You don't have to go and plan.
You don't have to go plan out.
You don't have to plan the date.
You just, right now,
what you need to focus on is making contact with him,
drop the hanky, express to him
that you enjoyed the conversation that y'all had,
and you would like to get together in person.
Okay.
And then see what he comes up with.
Okay, that's good.
That's what I needed help with.
We got you.
And that's why I had to give the background,
because it wasn't like just, hey, you want to get together?
He was, you know, but that was his entry point.
Well, because here's the thing.
You don't have to go kayaking on a first date,
but if things progress
and you're enjoying each other's company,
it can be a third, fourth date down the road.
It could be something that,
you know that the two of you have something in common.
Yes.
You both enjoy that.
That's what we're looking for.
Ladies, you want to make connections.
You want to see what things do you have in common
with someone that you can enjoy, okay?
Doesn't mean that you have to go run
and do those things super quick,
but you're getting to know each other.
This is that discovery dating.
So that's that level two, getting to know each other.
You're going to have two or three dates of just, you know,
keeping things, you know, simple, all right?
Yeah, if we have that.
I don't know.
I mean, I don't know if he's married.
I mean, he's got a ring
and he didn't talk like he was married.
We're not going to spiral into the all the what ifs.
I don't know.
We don't need to do that, okay?
Okay.
I think for me, it's safe for me not to,
I didn't know if like, I really need confirmation
that he's not married before we meet, but.
Oh, here's the thing.
Okay, ladies, this is a good question.
So, you know, you're not sure
you're having a conversation with someone.
drop the hanky, guess what? If he's, if he's married, guess what? He's going to tell you.
All right. Yeah. Okay. But let's again, they like, you can't sit here and go play detective.
You have to trust that you are God protected. God's got you. All right. And that's why it's
low stakes dating at this point. Okay. We don't have to, we don't have to project all
these things in the future. It's low stakes. You're dropping the hanky. Let's just see
if he picks it up. Ladies. Most men are not going to pick it up. Okay. And here's the
thing. If a man picks it up and he's a married man, God's going to defend you. God's going
to protect you. He's going to let you know what you need to know when you need to know
it. Trust that. That's good. Okay. Yeah. I just want to make sure I'm going to move on
to Sarah so we can get, get through the next, the next couple of ladies. Okay. Sarah,
do you have an update for us? How are things going with yourself? Is it South African man?
Yeah. South African man. His name's going, his name's Alyssa. I'm so, so grateful that you
like encouraged me to have the conversation to like, Hey, where's this going? Like,
if you're going to claim me, you better claim me like, you know, that sort of thing.
And here's the thing, ladies. So I want to preface like, we don't typically ask the women
to have that conversation. But for those of you that were not here last week or didn't watch it
in replay, Sarah's situation was a little bit different. There was some things that happened.
Okay. So that's why I encouraged her that, you know, some things happen. So now like it would
give you the green light to be able to have that conversation. So I just want to make that clear.
Because we do ask you ladies to let the man initiate that level three conversation. Okay.
So, okay. So I'm glad. So you, you did that. How did that go?
So in, in this particular situation, it was kind of a two part thing. So Thursday,
he was kind of cold feet. We only had limited time to talk because it was like on my lunch break.
He came to visit me at work, but we ran out of time. But he, I could tell that he was like
one foot in the door, one foot out the door and like sabotaging based on fear of the future.
And also kind of like waiting on a sign from God in a way. And I'm like, sometimes you just gotta
like move forward and like trust that God's gonna stop you if it's, you know, if it needs to be
stopped. So the next day, I had a dream that evening, that I was in South Africa with a
missionary group, and he was leading the group. And he talked about taking a car up into the
mountains. He's like, we're all going to drive six hours up into the mountains. And so I shared
that dream with him that like, in my dream, which, you know, he, he's very much into like,
dream language and things like that. In my dream, I was in South Africa, and he was there leading
this trip. And so he felt like that was enough confirmation from the Lord to like, okay, let's,
let's move forward. And so he asked me to be his girlfriend. And now he's using language like,
oh, you're mine. Like, it's like, so exciting. And so it's just I also needed to call him out
for the like, hey, could you be maybe sabotaging this because some fear about like, I don't know
about when whether I'm going to live in South Africa or in the US or both. And like, you know,
so it's like, it's really a leap of faith for both of us. But the timing.
And that's and ladies, and as you come into those relationships with, you know, people like,
um, you know, obviously, we're hopeful and expectant that this could be spirit mate potential,
but we also hold things loosely, knowing that God's in control. And that God's the he's, he's,
he knows what's ahead. Okay. And so it's, again, it's, it's that faith of trusting that, you know,
you are stepping in the season, and God has a purpose and plan for that. We don't know what
it's going to be. But we know that God is good. And so that is, I'm super excited. I can't wait
to continue to keep hearing more and more. But I think that's, that's really beautiful. I'm so
glad that worked out. And I love that, you know, you're practicing, I'm practicing having some of
those tough conversations. And because ladies, I will tell you one of the things you know,
what were something that you said, Sarah reminded me of the situation that I was in with my,
my husband. And when we were getting together, you know, we had the conversation about having
more kids. And I always thought I was going to have my another baby and he was, you know, no.
And so I shared with him my heart. And one thing that I loved about him that I fell for and that,
you know, like, just again, it just, you know, I was attracted to is that he told me
what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear.
And that's important, ladies, as you are stepping into relationships and you're getting
to know men, you're looking for those three N's.
Are they masculine?
Are they mature?
And are they marriage minded?
And one of those things is, are they mature?
Are they gonna be good for you?
Are they going to grow you and help you grow
and into a deeper relationship with God?
And I took that conversation, was able to go to the Lord
and the Lord then confirmed things
and showed me things and spoke to me.
So I love that you were willing
to have the tough conversation with him.
And as you step into this season and level three,
you're gonna get into more deeper conversations and things
and we're here to support you as you move into phase three.
So lots of great resources here at Last Year Single.
And I look forward to watching your journey unfold.
So thank you so much for sharing that with us, Sarah.
Yes, absolutely.
And thank you for your encouragement.
This community has been super pivotal
in even leading up to meeting this guy
and just aligning my heart where it needs to be.
So I'm excited about the future and continuing to benefit
from the resources in this community.
So super grateful.
Thank you.
I'm so happy for you.
All right, Nicole, you're up next.
I actually just had a question.
How do you, are there signs,
like if you have commitment issues
or if there's a fear of commitment there,
are there signs of that that we can pick up on in others
and in our own self if those exist?
So what are you experiencing?
So let me know what's coming up.
So I'm guessing this question is coming from,
are you having some concerns
that you might have a commitment?
Well, this is gonna sound silly.
It has nothing to do with dating,
but I have been thinking about getting a dog
for a very long time, but I'm also very practical.
Just, I travel.
So it's like paying for somebody to watch the dog,
this, that, and the other.
Long story short, I wanna wait till I'm married
just because I wanna share that responsibility
with someone I don't really want that weight to be on me
to get an animal.
And I had this thought several times.
Does this mean I have commitment fear or something like that?
I can't commit to even a dog for 10, 15 years,
which I don't feel like I have that,
but I was like, is this a sign?
I don't know.
I just told you what I'm asking.
Is this a theme that runs in your life?
Is this consistently something that comes up?
Is this the only occurrence that you have
or do you see a trend happening?
To me, I see if you really did,
it would show up several different times
in several different ways.
So for, I mean, when I hear you talk about a dog,
like, let's be real.
Having an animal is a huge commitment
and it takes a lot of time.
Like I'm one of those people.
I love, I love dogs.
I am not in a position or a place
to take on that responsibility.
And I've even seen people that do,
they love dogs so much that they get these dogs
and they really are not able to be responsible
with that dog and then my heart breaks.
And I'm like, oh, why would you get a dog
if you really can't have that responsibility?
So sometimes like, I've seen nothing,
for me, I see nothing wrong with choosing to wait
because it is a responsibility.
Like, I almost didn't want to date my husband
cause he had a cat.
Cause I'm like, and I still struggle in my home,
married, with my kids.
That cat is the vein of my, vein of my existence.
Like I can't stand that thing
because it is a huge responsibility.
And then I have to get on the kids
because it's the kid's responsibility,
but then I'm responsible for the kids.
So I would say if you find that you are in a trend
where you're constantly not doing something
because you're afraid to have to stretch yourself
all the time.
So I would just take time with the Lord
and ask him to reveal to you if this is in fact
something that you need to work through.
I would even be curious to ask,
have you asked him to show you ways that you are committed?
What's that?
I feel like you just answered it.
Like, it's definitely not that.
I think I read way too much into it
cause I'm loyal as a dog.
And like, I'm like all about like long relationships,
friendships, things like that.
So I think that I will definitely go to the Lord,
but I think you just-
Okay.
That for me, I don't get it.
I'm getting a sense that I don't, I mean, again,
I think I have a very discerning spirit,
but at the same time, I'm not always right.
So it's why I always want you ladies to always,
of course, as coaches are here to,
give our feedback and our input,
but it's still always important for you all
to still take that, what we coach,
what we advise to take it to the Lord.
So I get a discerning feeling that it's not that at all,
that if it was, it would show up more frequently,
and I would be safe to say that you probably have
a lot of areas where you are fully committed,
and God will start showing that to you.
Just to confirm, okay?
Thank you so much, Nicole.
All right, I've got Kelly,
and if anybody else still has a question,
feel free to put your avatar hand up.
We'll come to you.
If not, we'll finish up with Kelly,
and then I'll give you a little thing of activation
as something to go do this week,
and then we'll close in prayer.
But Kelly, how are you?
Good to see you.
So I think, yeah, I'm not sure how to say it.
So the baseball guy, I still have not come out with him
because I just had so many things come up
where it was like a sudden trip.
I had to go visit family and just different things like that.
And so I do have a lot of fears.
I've never been in a relationship.
I have dated, but not serious or anything.
I just, with work stuff and different things,
I've been hurt so much as a missionary and stuff like that.
So I just have a lot of fear.
I just need to know how to still message him
and say, can we get together and not, I don't know.
What's the relationship look like right now
with the two of you?
Are you still connecting?
Is there still reciprocation happening?
Is he reaching out to you and you reciprocating,
and then he's reciprocating off of you?
It was, and then in August, I had to go out of town again.
And then my mom was like,
oh, and now we have to go here
because we have a family thing.
It was, I had to help my mom with something.
So yeah, so I did tell him I would-
How's he responding to that?
He was fine.
Okay, I think that's good.
All right.
I mean, that shows that he's patient.
Yeah.
That's what I'm sensing is that,
he's patient, he's gonna allow you the time, okay?
But like you said, if you're feeling some fears,
so are you gonna let that fear grip you
and get ahold of you and keep you from the promises
that God has for you?
Or do you want to step out in faith?
And yes, I see you shaking your head.
Because that's also a lot to do with like ministry
and like finding another organization
and so much fear from being hurt from my last organization
in the school that I was at.
Yeah.
So I am meeting with a therapist now
who has been a missionary
and it's really helpful to talk with people
that have been in your shoes a little bit.
And she did agree with some other people
that I've talked to that I just need a time
of like not working and just healing.
Yeah, absolutely.
And then you have heart work tools too.
So again, these are always like,
again, it's so important, ladies,
of just having that deeper intimacy with the Lord.
That's kind of why I really thought it was important
to share with y'all about the soil
and the hard times and the struggles
and how important it is to really like,
at the end of the day, it's getting our nutrients,
our fill from the Lord.
I mean, He's our source.
And so when we're drawing deeper to Him
and then that fruit can come from that.
And so, ladies, this season of singleness
and dating and all that kind of stuff,
it will have its challenges, okay?
It really will.
There's a refining that takes place.
And I say that knowing,
I say that having experienced it myself
and it's all good things.
And you have a community here that's here to support you
and to stand and partner with you and celebrate with you.
And we're your shoulders to cry on.
We're here for you to be vulnerable
and really express like what you're going through.
And when you're able to do that,
God really can use it for some really amazing things
and a lot of healing can take place.
So are you contemplating on just not continuing
to connect with Him and meet up?
Like what are you, what's your thoughts on that?
I think I would try at least one date
and then see how it goes and then, yeah.
Yes, I think that's good.
Ladies, all you.
can do is just one foot in front of the other. All right. We
don't have to project we don't have to think about the what is
like, okay, I'm going to go on this date. What what if we're
not going there? It's what can you do today to move you closer
to that promise? Okay. And I think it's really important for,
you know, me to share and for you ladies to hear is, you know,
this dating process, sometimes it doesn't look like it's the
first guy out the gate that you step into phase two and go on a
date with, you know, I know, we want to hear that. I know, we
want to be like, yeah, the first guy I went on a date with, he's
my spirit mate. You know, I wish that would have happened to me,
but it didn't, you know, and it's not saying that it won't
because it does happen to some of the women in this community.
It really truly is it's a process and, and as you as you
walk through it, you're going to get strength and courage and
overcome things you're going to heal, you're going to grow. And
that just and that doesn't just happen in your single life. It
will happen into marriage. Like I'm still continuing to grow
God is still revealing some things in me and healing things
in me currently that you know, it wouldn't have happened until
I stepped into the season. All right. So I I'm, I'm proud of
you for, you know, being vulnerable and sharing and just
recognizing some areas of where the hurt came from and you're
working through it. And you know, you're, you're getting
wisdom, ladies, that's so important, you know, is, you
know, seeking wisdom. And so it sounds like that's what you're
doing, Kelly. And so just keep doing that. Keep coming here,
keep showing up, get to those prayer calls, come to these
lives, watch your content, pray, ask Holy Spirit to reveal to you
what's being highlighted. And it's, it's a good journey, I
promise. All right. Okay, ladies, I don't see any other
hands. Anybody have any last minute things that you want to
share? All right. No. I want to hear something. Natalia, what's
up? Um, I don't know. It's kind of like, no questions, just
celebration, I guess. Love those. Just like, um, I don't
know. The last week God has been resurfacing online dating. And I
think in the last couple of days, one of the nights in the
last few days, he was showing me that he has tools. And I'm
like, God, okay, what are your tools, you know? And I'm
thinking, like, you know, I'm trying to look for a job right
now. So I'm like, okay, what are your tools? I need your tools,
because I need a job. Right. And so I, but he's just been
silent. He did. All he says is tools. And I'm like, okay, God,
you know what, whenever you want to explain that to me? Sure. So
today, I was just kind of like in my quiet time in my Bible
time. And usually I don't join the morning sessions for these
Tuesday meetings. It's usually the afternoons with Renee. And
so I have time now, I have no job to come. And God has been
like, kind of resurfacing online dating. And at first, I'm like,
Oh, heck no, God, like been there done that last four years
been like, like, I've had, I'm not gonna say all of it has been
bad. Like I've had so many good hits as well. But I'm just, I
don't know, God, like, I don't, I don't, I don't know, like,
okay,
this is a new season. So like you have now you have heartwork
tools, you do have tools, he's giving you those tools. So yes,
I know, it's easy for us to go because ladies, let me tell you,
I did the whole online dating, my son's dad, I met through
online dating. And so I was like, absolutely not like, that
was a bad experience. I forgot about all the good experiences I
had in that time, just because I had one bad experience or a
couple bad experiences. It doesn't mean that has to
continue to be a bad experience for you. So because you are
coming in with more wisdom, more knowledge, you have the
heartwork tools, you have the content here in phase two, you
have this community, you have the tools that you need to be
successful. Because, you know, one thing that I appreciated is
when I was going online, and I was getting dates, I could come
to this community and I could share about my experiences. And
it was, I was able to use those dating experience, the good, the
bad, the ugly, to help me grow. Yeah, that's important, ladies
is when you're stepping into these, you know, you're dating,
you're gonna date, you might date some duds, you might date a
handful of duds, you might, you know, come
a guy that's just very unhealed and hurt and he is projecting stuff on you maybe
he's being rude and crude and you know harsh and you know you might come into
some scammers all of that stuff can be tools to grow you deeper in your
relationship with the Lord because he's gonna he's gonna utilize those
situations for your good and so I love that you came here Natalia and you're
able to see that and I just want to you know again just reiterate like what God
is showing you you do have the tools he's given you the tools he's he's he
has the tools that he's giving you you are the possessor of those tools yeah
it's just gonna continue to help you help you grow and and I believe it's
gonna be a really amazing experience yeah yeah my celebration is just like
being in that breakout room with Sarah like she was a big person like go and
talk about that stuff so I love that ladies and I love that connect with each
other here in this community I can't tell you enough ladies like it was
actually one of the women in this community that linked me to my husband
so I share that I feel like on every call I share a lot of the same things on
every call because this is what this program does you know it builds
community it builds relationship we're here to do it together all God ever
wanted was a family created us for relationship he created us for marriage
all right and so that's why this community I feel like there's just so
many amazing things that that has come from this community and it will continue
to happen I think there's still more things that God is ready to release in
this community that he hasn't even released yet ladies I've been in this
program since 2020 and it's 2024 it's the year of the open door and he's just
gonna keep opening doors for this community and it's gonna be such a
blessing and we're you know get on like okay I'm gonna actually activate you
ladies and we're gonna you know go ahead and close in prayer but one of the
things I want to activate you ladies and doing is I want you to go to that
resource tab this week and I want you to complete that spirit mate match
intake form and if you want to share this program I want you to get your
affiliate set up let's start let's start sharing what this can be like let's
start sharing this community with people there's so much breakthrough that I have
seen happen since the very beginning and it's just gonna continue to grow and
it's gonna start with all of us you know sharing it with people and so now
Jackie's got it set up where now y'all can get some cash in your pocket when
you do so so get those get those affiliate programs set up get your
spirit mate match and take form so we can start curating some events for y'all
and Jackie's the only one that's gonna see that content in the spirit mate
match for right now okay she's the only one she's the only one that has eyes on
it get that filled out so she can start using that information to start making
connections within the community and start getting some things going so
that's what I want to activate y'all to do this week and I also want to activate
you to start working on your dating profiles if you haven't done so
already and whatnot okay all right let's go ahead and pray out and then I want to
bless you all to have an amazing Tuesday and rest of your week so Heavenly
Father we just thank you we thank you for the love stories that you have
written in our lives Lord we thank you for this community we thank you for
Jackie and David we thank you for Bethany and Renee and all those that are
on our team Lord I just I their blessing Lord and I just thank you for that Lord
I want to thank you for each and every one of the members in this community not
just the women here in phase two but the women in all phases Lord and I just
thank you even for the men that are in this community as well Lord oh thank you
Jesus you know especially those men because it takes some strong courageous
men to step out in faith and join a community like this and I just thank you
for those men that they're they're the ones that are leading the way for the
other men of this world Lord I just pray for every single one of the ladies that
are on this call and on replay I pray for each one of their marriages and their
husbands Lord you know I just I pray that you know you are doing a good work
in those spirit mates and that you are aligning things that need to be aligned
and your order is good and father I just thank you I thank you for Jackie's word
of just not giving up not using excuses that it's time to partner with you and
it's time to work through the process even in the hard Lord I think
you for the the ways that you show us that you are good and that even in those
stresses we can still just go deeper with you Lord and we can connect with
you and that you are our source you are the one that gives us the ability to
have bountiful fruit Lord and you your promises are good you are for us you
protect us I just thank you for all that you've done for us and Lord I just want
to bless each one of these ladies on their week and just encourage them show
them that you are with them and I just thank you for each and every one of them
in your mighty son's name amen thank you ladies so good to be with you we've got
our 8 o'clock all coming up tonight with ebony and miss Renee will be on too so
if you can make it please do I know Renee is moving on to some other areas
in our last year single group and some other things in her life so I know she
wants to speak to y'all tonight just briefly so if you can jump on please do
and ladies just go have a wonderful rest of your week and I can't wait to see you
next week all right thank you so much so much Carla bye-bye