whether or how she takes care of herself in other ways,
like spiritually, intellectually,
kind of all the different parts of herself
aside from physically?
Well, she's a pretty busy lady
because she's a pediatric nurse practitioner.
So she's right underneath the doctor.
So she's got a pretty heavy workload.
So she's more or less like a nine to fiver
or kind of like a eight to four or whatever,
something like that.
So she works all day long, Monday through Friday.
She, I don't, I mean, like,
I mean, as far as I guys think about like you guys,
I feel like I'm probably the less,
I'm like the less holy out of a lot of you guys here.
You know, I'm trying to pray more and do more
and get more involved and live it more than I ever have.
But I think she goes to church on occasions.
She does pray at night,
at least that's what she tells me.
You know, she goes out to eat a lot.
You know, she drinks a little bit,
but it's not an issue
because I would have ran away right away.
So alcohol is not really an issue.
She doesn't do really like any physical activity.
She's kind of more like a dinner party gal,
you know, kind of hangs out with friends
and go wine tasting, that kind of stuff.
I mean, she's awesome.
She's kind, you know,
but I look at taking care of yourself
as being a little selfish.
You know, you gotta make the sacrifices
and take the time to go to the gym and stuff like that
or walk or something.
So I don't know.
I think she's doing good.
Average lady, you know, pretty cool.
But the eating habits, you know,
I think she's kind of ignorant of the nutritional stuff,
you know, and like the bad habits over the years.
She was married before for about five to six years.
So, and then the last couple of years of her marriage
turned pretty cold.
So I was kind of thinking like maybe this snowball effect
of, you know, just getting sad and then it got cold.
And then she even told me at one point
she gave up on dating.
And then one of her friends just like
made her download Hinge.
And she like landed on me.
And like, I felt like I got pretty lucky
to kind of land on her
because we're really close in culture
and thought process and growing up and stuff.
It's pretty close, which is nice.
It's like, we're super nice.
Is that the one thing that you're like most attracted
about like what's,
if you could narrow it down to the one thing
that's like the most attractive,
like what was it that really like,
yeah, this girl's worthy of pursuing here?
I just probably like,
I've probably just learned too many statistics
that kind of don't matter,
but there's a lot of stats about how
if you're the same religion,
you have similar culture,
you kind of like, it lasts longer.
People have better success rates.
So maybe I'm being a little mechanical about that.
But-
Like mindedness of it?
Yeah, yeah.
Like she would say things,
I would describe my lifestyle,
I'd describe my grandparents
and she'd be like, those are like my grandparents.
And I'd be like, that's cool.
And yeah, it was just like nice
to meet somebody that was kind of like me.
Get you.
But besides the culture stuff,
I think health for me is pretty big.
My health culture, obviously religion,
those are like probably my three pillars
or it might be a fourth pillar there,
but at this point I don't really care what color she is.
I don't care what her eye color is.
I don't give a shit about a lot of stuff,
but I just wish she'd get a little healthier,
but I'm being a little vain about that.
But then again, it's really about her health.
Like if that stroller got away from her guys, right?
Pretend we're in a park,
the stroller got away and it's rolling downhill.
Is she gonna physically react and save my son?
I'm trying to be kind of goofy a little bit here,
but okay, the kid, my son's on the dresser.
He's gonna fly off.
He has no fear.
Can you respond and save him?
I don't know.
I'm not trying to be a jerk.
Well, I'll tell you-
It's very tough.
Thomas, I don't know if I answered your question, Thomas.
Very well, sorry.
Well, I think you kind of did.
And I have a couple more thoughts,
but David, I think you were trying to say something.
I was just gonna say,
like you mentioned her last few years,
like having been married, gone through divorce,
what that affected on her, I don't know,
but was her wanting divorce or him or whatever,
what happened there and all that,
her job, the nine-to-five.
So she's had a pretty stressful year.
So obviously that has, I'm sure contributed to her health and her condition, her lifestyle,
that kind of thing, which contributes all to, you know, to the weight and everything.
So don't underestimate the power of like the healthy relationship that you might bring
that you guys might have together and how that might be incredibly motivating for her
to want to do this second marriage, possibly if it comes to that, like, like get ready
for that.
Like that's incredibly motivating for women to be able to like the wedding day or even
just a new relationship, the, the, the de-stress that a new relationship might bring because
of the way you're handling life versus the way she's had to handle life up until now.
So there's an incredible factor, the X factor of this new life and love that not everything's
going to be perfect, of course, but I'm just saying like, you know, Jackie was literally
going through anxiety, panic disorder, all kinds of things.
And I didn't know any of this really, because I didn't know her immediate history.
I was just meeting her.
We met in, you know, in April and were married by November that same year.
But there were so many things that I now know now because I know the history and I know
all the things that led up to that.
But there were so many things I didn't really understand what kind of state of health she
was in mentally and physically when we, when we actually first met.
Because it was kind of serendipitous in terms of the way that happened.
And just, I was, it was just, I think it was, this is the providential part of how we met
and how we came together and why we came together.
I think there was a lot of things that God was doing in this unbeknownst to both of us
until many years later, we can look back on it.
And there was, you know, part of her testimony is, is that just who I was as a person, my
love, my affection, my just sincerity, my, you know, my just, you know, chill, you know,
I wasn't in her face, you know, trying to make things different, whatever.
My chillness about it was like, that made like all the difference in the world.
She literally just panicked, just literally went away.
She literally became healthy almost, you know, almost overnight type thing in terms of just
a better state of being, which then led her on the path and trajectory to, you know, like
where we're at now.
And it's not, you know, it's not all me.
I'm just saying, you know, our relationship was able to bring out new facets and dimensions
of both of us that are better selves.
So there's that.
I think nursing culture even can, can be tough.
Two of my sisters are nurses and they spend all day kind of taking care of other people's
bodies and it can be hard sometimes to kind of invest the energy, kind of taking care
of their own selves.
And there's kind of a culture of not taking care of yourself, like in parts of nursing,
I feel like, which, which makes things difficult as a nurse practitioner, it might be a little
different and it sounds like she's not doing night shifts or anything like that.
I think that a little bit along the lines of what Chris just put in the chat, I was
thinking a little bit about, you know, there are a lot of different areas of life, like
a life coach gave me like a wheel.
There's like relationally, what do you want for your future?
Like physically, work wise, like living situation.
And I'm wondering, I feel like sometimes it can be a little, it can feel too much like
an interview if you're like, OK, well, let's go down like this list of stuff.
And it sounds like maybe one choice that you might face is how much do you want to
include it as kind of a list of things, kind of looking at the future versus how much do
you want to be able to be honest with her and say, hey, you know, like I'm afraid, kind
of lampshade it and be like, I'm really afraid that, you know, you were going to take it
this way, but health really matters to me.
And I just wanted to I want us to feel free to talk about what matters to, you know, to
both of us. And so I don't think there's like a right or wrong to that, but you would
know probably knowing her better, like what she can handle and what she can't.
But it seems to me like that's maybe a spectrum that you'll probably be looking at.
And ask Holy Spirit for help, man, lean into just the wisdom of Holy Spirit and say, you
know, look, I want to have this conversation.
Like your prayer would be like, Lord, before I go in and just have this conversation just
because I think I need it and so forth and I just mess it up.
I want to have this conversation because I think it's important.
I think it's right. Right.
So help me have the words and the wisdom and the loving and encouragement and support to
not just have one conversation, but have a continuing dialogue of like, you know.
bringing this or addressing this or however it is you know and uh beautiful uh mike anthony what's
up man you get your hand raised hey i was just something i did think about is you know um as
a leader right i mean you you could ask like hey are you open to working out like come up figure
like i don't know figure out a training program and say hey would you be my gym partner
and like and work on the partnership side and uh maybe come i would i would just if she's open to
a lot of ladies don't know how to work out they don't know how to take care of themselves
right like but they would gladly like really go with you and um and partner in that so that's just
yeah i i kind of i kind of led with that earlier mike and so that's good like i was just basically
saying yeah make it interactive relational fun and like you never know that she might be looking
for um a reason an opportunity you know to make a lifestyle change in this way
so thanks guys so did you miss me while i was gone guys
i missed you yes i missed you and i couldn't wait to tell you that
a lot has changed with my mind and how to approach someone and how not only do i have
the right heart but how i convey it to the women well that's awesome and also i'm not i'm not so
sure if i have to fill another spiritmate form where you guys have mine already i know i i did
see your name in spiritmate matt so i think we're good on that it's okay if i re-edit it again because
i think i might you can go you should be able to log in establish you know like a login that there
was an email that gets automatically generated and um you should be able to go in and edit your
profile add add pictures appropriate pictures i don't mean like not inappropriate pics i what i
mean is pictures that look if you look good not just like some like a selfie thing like make a
you know an effort to try to make a nice picture have someone else take the picture for you if it's
necessary you know type thing you would not believe men and women it's ridiculous what people put up
in their photos for these things you're trying to put your best foot forward this is not a uh i don't
know whatever i could go on so yeah so if you haven't filled out spiritmate match i think it
was asked the last couple i did get some feedback and someone i don't know if it was renee or my
wife or somebody else was doing the men's session last couple weeks and some of the feedback some
from some of you guys i don't know if it's all you guys or some of the other guys that are not
here tonight but somebody was saying we're not ready for it and this and that and you know i'm
like not ready for it no what are we talking about we are trying to put our best foot forward here
we're trying to make matches we don't start now when are we going to start if not now when you
know like type things so like that that's not really a factor we need to get the information
in there so we can start now if you're in relationship that kind of thing you know not
looking for necessarily a match i get that and some guys are in that situation as well so um
but if you're watching this in replay and that's you that's cool as well so um i hope everybody's
doing good um we had an incredible vacation it was um i don't know if you did you guys hear
jackie's i think it was this last supernatural saturday and or at least the one where she was
talking about like you know we went to europe for this vacation we were gone for two and a half
weeks in europe and when you say like oh but you're in europe for two and a half weeks that sounds on
its face sometimes depending on who you are that sounds very exotic and very like wow luxurious and
so forth and all that kind of stuff and you know we were definitely thankful that we could do it
however it is brutal it is very difficult to just travel period second of all let alone to go on
as many i think i stayed in probably seven or eight different beds during the whole time that
i was gone for two and a half weeks you know depending on where we were in the country or what
airbnb we were in or what you know so it's it's one thing to go to a place and go to a nice place
and stay like you you move in and you stay and then you're just relaxing and you're there for
you know five seven eight ten days whatever like that and you're enjoying yourself
versus literally moving around every other day with four bags and things and rollers and
europe does not have like they didn't think of like the rolling bag in europe
They have cobblestone streets.
They don't have escalators.
Everything's steps.
If you're taking a train, we literally,
I'm not kidding you,
in one of the days that we were traveling,
it wasn't every day, but one of the days we were traveling,
we literally traveled in one day,
boat, a bus, train, plane, automobile,
and I think there was another form of transportation.
And I'm not kidding you.
I'm not exaggerating.
I had six forms of transportation
in one of the days that we were traveling.
We were literally going from one place to another.
And I was just like,
it was literally planes, trains, and automobiles, and more.
So it can be super brutal.
The beds over there are like sleeping on
three-inch plywood.
They're not comfortable and soft.
They don't have enough pillows.
The food is tremendously good,
and it's incredibly good.
Talking about nutrition,
they don't put the stuff that we put in our foods.
And you can eat, like we ate ridiculously.
We were like, we were gluttonous
to the point where it was just really bad.
But surprisingly enough, I came back
and I did not gain any weight.
Matter of fact, I think I lost a couple pounds.
And you don't get the bloat.
You don't get the bigness.
You're full, but you don't get like,
oh my God, I feel like I could just die,
roll over after you eat some of the big meals here.
It's just really different.
But we enjoyed and saw a lot of friends
and had a lot of good family time, and it was great.
But it is not easy to do it.
I'm so sorry, where in Europe were you, David?
So we went to Italy,
and then we did a seven-day cruise to Greek Isles.
And my mother, who turned 80 earlier this year,
and my mom and dad who had their 50th wedding anniversary,
we celebrated that by going on this like bucket list cruise.
She'd never been to Italy, she'd never been to Greece.
She'd been well-traveled a lot of her life,
but she'd never been to those places.
So last year we determined that this was gonna be
what we were gonna do for her and our family.
And we were able to have all of my kids,
all of their spouses, my mom and dad,
my sister and her husband and my nephew,
and my two aunts, my mother's sisters,
who are still alive, they're the only siblings still alive.
And all of 14 of us went on this cruise,
and it was just a really great time.
So we went to Greece, and then back to Italy,
and then Jackie and I went over to Portugal for a week
to visit Portugal and visit some friends
and do some business over there.
So I'm telling you what, it was great.
Portugal is the best, my opinion.
Were you mostly in Lisbon or?
Lisbon, and then along the coast, Ericeira,
which is a coastal city, we were there for five days,
and that is incredible.
Lisbon's pretty cool.
I mean, we were there for a couple of days at the end,
but it's like a city, it's got history,
and it's like a city.
And we had done enough cities, we did Bologna,
that was really cool.
Bologna is actually a really cool city.
We did Rome last year, we did Florence.
Florence is really cool.
We did some coastal cities.
The big cities are, like for me, for Europe,
it's like you did it, like say, okay, we did it, right?
And then for me, it's over.
I think the best areas in terms of touring Europe
or anywhere in Europe is kind of like the country,
the coastal, sort of like more of the nicer,
chill areas for me.
Now, if you love history, that's another thing,
you're gonna have to go where the history is.
Went to the top of the Areopagus,
went to Mars Hill, that was pretty cool.
I was on Mars Hill and didn't even know it.
We were walking up to the Areopagus,
or what's the other word for it?
Something polis, what is it called?
Mount Olympus?
The Acropolis, which is the,
I guess that's the Latin word for it,
or Areopagus is the Greek word for it, I'm not really sure.
But anyway, we're on our way up, we're going up,
and it is, again, that was a 14,000 step day walking.
That's another thing, you walk forever and ever,
and oh, there's five more blocks you gotta go walk.
The taxis don't take you all the way to the Airbnb,
they drop you off a street earlier
because it was crazy.
But we're walking up there,
We noticed there was this side thing over to the side.
And it was like, oh, there's people up around that rock.
That's pretty cool.
Let's climb up there.
So we climbed up there.
We're standing up there.
We took pictures.
There's 50 other people up there, all this thing.
And we went down.
And we go to the Acropolis.
And then much later in the day, we were, oh, man,
we were just that close to Mars Hill.
We should have did that.
And I don't know if you all know what I'm referencing,
which is Paul's moment where he speaks.
This is in Acts chapter 26, something like that.
And he references literally going
to this place where it was renowned
for having deeper conversations.
So Paul was in the marketplace that day.
And it was kind of like one of those things, hey,
if you want to hear more, meet me at Mars Hill.
Meet me at the place where there's deeper discussion.
And Mars Hill was the place.
And then we figured out, oh, my lord, that was the big rock
that we were on.
That was the coolest thing.
I was just like, oh, we actually made it.
And it was pretty cool.
So I have pictures from that.
A lot of cool things, though.
We had a good time.
And so if you ever get a chance to do it, go see it.
Any world travelers here?
Got world travelers?
Good, good, good.
I only traveled to Israel.
That's the only time I traveled.
I was in the UK the last couple of weeks, actually.
That was fun.
Oh, you were?
OK, so you were.
I was going to go, actually, back through London.
But we didn't.
I mean, that was an early version of our itinerary
before we even left.
So that's cool.
Were you doing business or pleasure?
It was a vacation.
But it was very purposeful.
You mentioned history.
So I did a lot of, I was visiting a lot of museums,
studying, went to a lot of the castles,
and tried to understand a lot of what people were trying to do.
So you and my son would get along very well.
He loves the museums, loves all the stuff, the history.
That's cool.
Well, good.
Well, Jenna, what I had, I mean, we
can continue on this vein if you want to.
But what I had thought in my heart today,
or coming into this call, was I've
been thinking about two different things.
I've been thinking about fear and how ridiculous fear is.
I hate fear.
And not that there's things in my life
that I'm not fearful of, because there are.
I'm not saying I don't deal with fear, because I do.
But there was this thing on fear that I
thought was interesting.
And then the other thing was on goals.
I wanted to do sort of, I thought
that maybe doing an activation on goals would be good.
So I don't know what is of interest to you all.
But my main thought was that I was dealing,
I guess, on the back end of this trip,
I was dealing with a mindset of having to come back
into my regular self.
Just like you would always.
You'd come off a trip, and you'd change gears.
And lots of times, it's just a very like, oh, this sucks.
I got to get back to real life, whatever.
But it wasn't so much like the work,
like getting back to work, as much as it was just like,
I felt like that I had a, I felt like that I
was gaining some momentum in a particular area of my life.
And then I felt like it went back.
And I was not, I was upset about it.
I was disappointed about it.
And at the same time, I realized that it was OK.
And what I said by, what I mean by OK,
was that if you feel, if everything in life is,
if the things that you want to change in your life,
let me put it that way, because it's things about change.
It's things about like habits and behavior and mindsets
and shifting, that kind of thing.
The things you want to change about your life,
if you feel yourself like going cycle, like you cycle,
like I'm doing, it's kind of like one of those things like,
I was doing pretty good until whatever.
Like, and then it's just like, and then something happened.
Or I don't know, there was some, there was an interruption.
There's a disruption.
And now I'm not doing, I'm not doing that well anymore.
And so that can be very disappointing,
can be very debilitating, can be very difficult
to like come back from that.
But, and the thing about it is, is.
is why do we process it that way?
Why do we process it in a way that, I mean,
obviously, it's negative.
But why do we process it in a way
like it's like we've just lost it,
or like it's so hard to come back?
Like, I was doing so good, but then whatever.
Because isn't that the way life is?
Isn't that the way life goes?
Isn't that life, basically?
I don't know if you're catching what I'm saying.
Isn't life cyclical that way?
In that, like, and this is kind of like what I always
was trying to overcome with my students
when I was teaching young people about sin.
They would be like, oh, I was doing so good,
and then I sinned.
And now I'm like back in wherever,
wherever in your head.
You're back into like, you go way back.
And it's like, I've got to now work all the way harder
just to get back to where I was,
instead of going, no, you didn't lose ground so much,
you just stopped.
You just need to pick it back up
and you need to continue to move forward.
Does that make sense?
Are you asking that as rhetorical or a literal question?
Yeah, kind of rhetorical, but I do want feedback
because I want to know if I'm tracking here with anyone.
Well, you learn from your mistakes
or you learn from your growth.
So it might seem that you're back to your state,
back to the first stage, but you're not
because you're a different person
than you were the last time when you were there.
And which is interesting about what you just said,
because I love that answer.
I think it's good and it's true,
but here is what I was facing.
I had the right answer, like you just said, Matthew.
Like I had the right, I could tell myself that,
but I wasn't living it.
Like I didn't believe myself when I said like,
when I told myself, yeah, I didn't answer, that's right.
You can just move forward.
But I still had the feelings.
I still had the sort of the internal dialogue.
I still had the emotional sense around that I'm less than.
So I wanted to just push forward through it.
And so I just made a decision
because I came to that realization.
This is like, you know what?
It is just a pause.
It wasn't a setback.
It was a pause and it was a,
I can just pick this right back up
and I can start moving forward again.
I can step right back into like,
just as easy as a decision,
I can literally step right back in to where I was before
and I can step right back into that mindset.
Like I don't have to like do the hard work again.
You know what I'm saying?
I can just go right back to where I was.
And I think that's an incredible,
I call it a skill, I think,
because I think it's a level of maturity
to where it's like, look,
I don't have time to dread this.
I don't have time to like get emotionally,
go down the drain in this.
I don't have, you know what I'm saying?
I don't have the bandwidth.
I can't afford for this to be a setback.
I have to move forward like with success,
with like furtherance, with development.
Does that make sense?
Could I ask?
So I think I'm now cluing in to what you're saying.
I was about to say, I respectfully, strongly disagree,
but I think I hear what you're saying.
So for example, I have a guy that's been living with me
and has become a friend, you know, an acquaintance.
And he's now back in drug detox
because he lapsed into hard drugs.
And so that is a serious setback
and a lot of recovery was lost.
So, and at the same time,
I would say that if we're going through cycles,
I'm not saying I've lived this fully,
but I think that when we go through cycles,
it's an indication of unrenewed mindsets, you know,
thinking that's embedded in our thoughts,
or if we wanna use like,
we wanna talk about the finished work of the cross,
a lack of fully understanding
what Jesus has done in our lives.
But I hear what you're saying now.
So I don't think that we're called to live in cycles.
I think God has called us to live from glory to glory.
But I hear what you're saying now,
because the problem is that
as soon as the devil tempts us into something,
then his attack shifts from the temptation to the shame
and letting the shame.
aim because of the finished work of the cross is what allows us to live without condemnation.
I have a friend who's had a lot of cycles in life, but I've always been amazed by his
faith and his courage.
He's done a lot better for quite a while now, but when he was dealing with homosexuality
in a relationship, he would say, I am still loved and holy.
I am still loved by God and holy.
That's powerful.
I think that a big, I think a big part of what you're telling that David, a lot of neuroscientists
have wondered the same thing for a long time.
There's the phrase, you know, the synapses that fire together, wire together.
So the way, when we try to develop a new habit, my understanding is that our synapses have
to create a new pathways and basically build new structures in our brains.
And when something happens that causes us to kind of stop the new pattern, one thing
that can very easily happen is we go back to our old, very strong highway of wired together
synapses that are old habit and taking the strength to say, I am going to keep on building
kind of the new pathway in my brain, I think is, is something that can be very hard, especially
because it seems like it takes energy to be very conscious that we need to do that sometimes.
Yeah, no, that's exactly the thought process that I went through, because I'm not saying
when you pick up from where you felt like you had progress and then you felt like you
had a setback, I'm not saying that the pickup is just to make it easier.
I'm saying that very thing is, is that it's kind of like when you're, if you've ever seen
those machines that dig a tunnel, like for cars and trains through like a mountain, you
know, those big, huge machines, it's like, what if you got so far and then you just decided
to like, for whatever reason, you couldn't go any further.
That would suck.
It's like, you did all that work, you know, and you went all that way to accomplish this
thing.
It's just like, there isn't any other way except for forward.
You know, it's like you get to a point where it's kind of like, it's like, look, I used
to go back into the old patterns because I would get discouraged.
I would get depressed.
I would get, um, I would get, um, in shame cycle.
I would get, you know, like I would just, you know, whatever I want to Medicaid or whatever.
And so, but now I've come to the point of maturity, I feel like, or just age or whatever
it is, or just like, you know, like I'm running out of, not running out of time.
I don't want to fear time, but at this, but in the same way, I've come to a point where
like, no, the only way is forward.
The only way to what I want, what I'm after success, relationships, finances, um, whatever
it is that your goal is, this is how I came to the goals thing is it's through forward
and through.
There is no round.
There's no, there's no easier way.
There's no roundabout.
There's no like, you know, I, this is where I came to the point where it's like, I don't
have time to go backwards.
I only have time and only strength to continue moving forward and progress, even though it
seems very difficult.
And that's what I think we were talking about when you said like, yeah, it's hard work.
Yeah, it is hard work.
I'd like to tell you there's an easier way, but it's hard work to accomplish the things
that you want to, to accomplish.
So that's where I got with the whole goal setting, because I saw this video, anybody
ever heard of Brian Tracy?
He's a renowned Canadian, um, like Tony Robbins, kind of a guy, you know, he's like a motivational
speaker, you know, like an old school kind of guy, we're still wear suit and tie and
everything.
And there was this little video short of him that he has this little exercise he does.
And I thought it was really amazing.
I thought it'd be a good activation for us.
Um, but I want to know right now from each of you, like, is there something that what's
like, what's the one thing that you would really like to accomplish, you know, in your
life right now?
You know, is it like, um, is it a health goal?
Is it a spiritual goal?
Is it a, is it a wealth goal?
Is it a relational goal?
Like what's the one thing right now that's kind of like bugging you like if, if, if there's
one thing that could really like bring about an incredible amount of change in your life,
if that one thing were either accomplished or were different in your life, what would that be
for you? For me, that'd be easy. It'd be a full-time job. I'm working five jobs right now.
Okay. Okay. Yeah. And yeah, I mean, it's hard from, you know, get up in the morning to help
somebody on the computer, go teaching kids in the afternoon, go driving Uber Eats at night.
And yeah, seven days a week. So yeah, that's fine. Like crazy. And so that would be the one
thing, if anything, if I could have a work-life balance and just be able to take a break.
Okay. That's good. Thank you. Thank you for sharing that. Who else? What's one thing right
now? It's just kind of like, what's one thing, if it was different or if it was accomplished,
if something was changed in your life that would make all the difference in the world, what would
it be? I'll jump in. So for me, like one of my callings requires a spouse, right? Like I'm,
you know, and doing that stuff. And it's kind of annoying because I'm like, Lord, what am I,
how am I going to get down that road without, and I've been pursuing and the apps are dry. And
so it's like, like you said, what's annoying, like, Lord, but I'm trusting and obviously
not forcing the issue. I mean, I've had plenty of people who wanted to be in a relationship that
were good, but they weren't God. Right. And so like, there's a difference between a divine,
I kind of have a higher ceiling that not everybody can walk alongside. Right. And so,
so no, just like that. I just, you know, my Lord, I would like to really get on that road and go
meet the right person. Yeah. Okay. That's good. Thank you, Mike.
I think for me, something I've been really struggling and is balancing input and output.
So I have done far too much input, I think, and changing the habit to create output, whether it
be bringing order to spaces around me, making sure that I'm on top of emails that need to be replied
to taking time to write, taking time to paint, taking time to do all those kinds of things
instead of continuing to learn and learn and learn and learn and learn, I think is something. And I
feel like God told me if I wanted to meet my potential to do the exercises in a book called
the second circle. So I've been working on it that way. But it's, it's not easy, it would change
everything. But things are changing, thankfully. So did you say writing the book called the second
circle? No, no, I have a book by Patsy Roddenberg, the foremost vocal coach in England called the
second circle. She talks about when we live in primarily an input, she calls that first circle.
When we live primarily in output, she calls that third. And then when we're doing both at the same
time, she calls that second circle. Got it. Um, are you a writer, Thomas?
I am working hard to try to become one. I'm excited about it. Do you have like a core
message that you feel like is kind of like, one message is kind of like you're like, I know you
like, I know you understand and know a lot of things, I get it, you have you draw from a tremendous
amount of resources, I get it. But do you feel like there's this one thing that's kind of materializing
into sort of like, this is kind of like my main thrust. I have four books, at least that I want
to write. But one of them is about Jesus over religion. One of them would be probably a memoir,
one of them is on the concept of procedural rhetoric. And then but I feel like God's told me
that I'm a poet as well, which is unsurprising. So I've been really trying to take time every day to
write poetry. That's awesome. But it's just I, when you were talking, before you said books or
anything, or I even asked if you're a writer, I just saw that, you know, that there's definitely
a work of writing for you, for sure that you must do. And so like, my question to you,
my challenge to you is like, what's holding you back? Like, what's keeping you from doing that?
And of course, you're addressing it, you know, you and I totally understand what you mean,
when you say, I've got I'm doing the input output thing, like artists and creatives and people who
like, are like, that, you know, do work, life's work, like writing and sculpting and painting and
music and all that they have a body of work, you know, type thing. And that's kind of like, they're
like,
Prince, before he died or when he died,
he had more things that were musical pieces
that were finished and virtually,
but not published in any way,
more than he ever made that was ever famous
or that he earned money from or anything like that.
So his body of work, so to speak.
So the output, yeah, it's incredible.
So I just pray that with you.
I agree with you on all that.
It's pretty cool.
Who else?
What's one thing that's kind of,
not the one thing that's holding you back.
The question is, is what is the thing
that if it were different or it was completely changed
or was accomplished, like it was finished,
like a goal, what would that one thing be for you?
I was gonna say just starting a PowerPoint
and presenting it to people.
Make a video.
You're gonna do what with PowerPoint?
Make a historic PowerPoint
about God's plan for America.
It's talking about how things came to be.
I grow sick and tired of the negative historic views
of the secular world.
And some of it I find very hard to believe
where people make their own narrative
and you see how history can affect your view of the world.
Well, I wanna see in a more positive Christ-centered outlook
and see how God sees it.
Not so much in what the History Channel says
about history playing itself out.
And remember, and seeing all the things
that are not good in this world.
Well, look back at history.
Things weren't any better today.
And I think it's just another evil trend of our time.
Kind of like everyone's thinking about abortion
and same-sex marriage being legal.
Well, you look back in the day with racial segregation,
I don't think it'd be the first time this has happened.
Wow, okay.
Wow, that's incredible.
Accomplish like a teaching, a presentation,
a final way to present historical biblical perspective,
accuracy of what is it, American history specifically?
Yeah, I should say so.
Interesting, I love that.
Who else?
Joshua came on camera.
I see you, Joshua.
And I don't know if you came on camera
to say something or what, but I am highlighting you now.
Yeah.
Well, the question you're asking
is a question I've thought about a lot
and I don't really know the answer.
I've had many different thoughts,
but sometimes I feel like it's having the right spouse
and it goes deeper than just the spouse
because many years ago when I was an Asian,
I basically lost everything and I had a choice
to either quit or pursue the one I loved.
I chose to do the unthinkable of pursuing the one I loved
in territories I didn't know, languages I couldn't speak
and places that were not safe to be.
And I think the Holy Spirit gifted me with the,
or just gave me a gift of revealing to me
who I was with Christ in me from all of the time,
the 15 some years I'd been reading the Bible
and pursuing him, not knowing exactly what to look for.
He connected all the dots.
And for years, I was fought with the Lord
for several years in that and growing.
And then at one point I realized that, man,
this knowledge of, it's like,
if you know what the word says,
if God said it, all you have to do is believe it
and then live it, right?
Easy to say, of course.
Sounds easy, right.
But that's where I was.
I was hot with the Lord and he was allowing me
to walk in it and it was easy to do.
And it was amazing and it was wonderful.
And I guess he spoke through me a lot
to other people and whatever.
But then I came to a point in the journey
where I realized, man, God, all this knowledge
that you're showing to me, week after week,
when I spend time with you, I love it and it's good,
but God, I can see how I could become tempted
to become proud of this knowledge,
even though it's good knowledge that you're showing me.
And it's like, God, I would rather
that you take this knowledge away from me,
but to teach me how to live out love
almost like in a way of like,
I don't even know what the word says
of who we are with Christ in us.
And fast forwarding more, at some point,
I realized that relationship is the key.
And I don't exactly know how to do relationship
because much of my life was...
is challenged in that area.
But it brought me closer,
the whole identity in Christ thing,
it just brought me closer to the symbolism of marriage.
And I feel like I could,
he only would let me know so much,
then it came up to that point of,
hey, now you need to get married.
Because it's like you spend time in theory, right?
And then it's totally different when it comes to practice.
How many testimonies I've heard from people
who've been married for decades,
of the challenges of marriage,
but then how all of that, when it's in a healthy way,
how that journey comes out to show,
or it comes out like a reflection of the relationship
God wants to have with us.
I mean, there's so many of these gold nuggets in there
that I could see that's like, man,
that there's so much more in that
than just standing on your feet,
knowing who you are with Christ in you,
because it's in the word of God, that's good too.
But then when you couple it with something like that,
somehow to me, it just comes out that way.
It's like, man, that's,
I'm not saying marriage is easy,
but I think there's a fruit and a reward and a joy
that comes through the persistence and endurance.
And it's like, not only that, but in that journey,
I would hope for all, myself included,
that you get closer to God,
realizing how much as an individual,
a husband or whatever, man, I need Jesus.
And you give him that place,
through vulnerability to him,
that you just give it to him.
And then when he comes through,
and then that relationship grows stronger,
just like it did when you were growing up in Christ
as a single person.
And there'd be times when the Holy Spirit
would interact with you.
And then when you were doubting him,
he showed you that,
no, I was there for you the whole time.
And then he shows you and you see that he was,
and then your faith gets stronger in him.
That's what I'm, that's where my mind is at.
But of course I'm single and I made bad choices, so.
I'm just.
I'm incredibly intrigued by what you're saying,
because you've just opened like a whole nother Pandora's box
but at the same time, Josh, that was the most live
I've ever seen you in any interaction on these calls.
And you got very passionate
about what you were talking about.
And I wanna honor that.
And I wanna reveal, reflect that back to you,
because I feel that's something that you are going to,
that you need and you want,
but at the same time that you're going to experience,
because I believe there's something happening in you.
I think there's a light bulb coming on.
Not to say that you didn't know this before,
but I'm hearing it in your voice.
I mean, it's been a while since I've seen any kind of like
passion excitement in you.
So I think this is a good thing.
I think it's awesome.
And you're exactly right.
It's like the whole scenario when I was talking earlier
about, you know, like there's only one way forward,
there's only one way, which is forward and through
and relationship, marriage relationship is just like that.
We talk about, you know, Jackie says it all the time.
It's like God, you know, marriage is God's maturity plan.
And it is the most refining, the most frustrating,
the most difficult, the most rewarding, the most glorious,
the most incredibly awesome experience
that I think humans can go through.
And this is why scripture talks about,
like when a man and a woman leave their mother
and their father and they come together
and it talks about like, and it's a whole mystery.
And it's like, it's just like,
it's like in Christ and the church.
And then they bring, like that whole scripture is so weird
because it's talking about marriage, marriage, marriage,
and all of a sudden it just twists and it goes,
and this is what it's like with Jesus and his church
and so forth.
And we're like, and then it's a mystery.
And we're like, what?
What are we saying?
Like, what is that scripture even saying?
But I think you just said it.
It's kind of like this, like beautiful, messed up,
creative, like terrible, awful, glorious,
tremendous experience.
And it is true.
I just saw an old couple.
It was kind of funny.
It was kind of like this video short.
And it was like this older couple,
they'd been married for 50 plus years and so forth.
And he was speaking at a wedding and he was with notes.
His wife was standing right beside him.
And he said, he said, you know, I'll test it.
I'll tell you about this.
He's kind of toasting, you know, I think somebody.
And he said, you know, we never talked about divorce,
you know, the two of us.
And he looks at his wife.
He said, we talked about murder, but never divorce.
And, you know, so it was like.
I was like, yes, I totally understand that, I get it, but that's the invitation,
not only in that relationship, but just in life, period, that there is no other way,
like whatever it is that you're putting before you, that God has put before you,
or that you're seeing revealed before you, that is your assignment,
and you can put it into a goal form, there is no other way towards that, or
other than just through and forward, however difficult and challenging that is.
That is the assignment, and that is life. I want to share with you the five goals that
I wrote down, and I want you guys to write five goals between now and next week.
And they're I am statements, and so this is, I was inspired by Brian Tracy's teaching,
he teaches to make goal statements in I am, in present form, or even a past tense,
where I have, or I am, or I am doing, or whatever, and my five statements are this,
I am maintaining my ideal weight of 190 pounds, feeling fit, strong, and energetic.
I'm the CEO of a business generating two million dollars in revenue,
growing exponentially exponentially each year. I am confident wearing a personal clothing style
that reflects my unique identity and values. I am in meaningful direct communication with
my parents and children every week. I am living in a clutter-free organized home
where every room and drawer is functional and tidy. Now my house is actually not a crazy pig
pen, or I don't want to give the impression of that, but I'm actually going for 100%
like in my house, like literally every nook and cranny, every closet, everything, you know.
So I'm going hardcore with these things. And the thing about my parents and my children,
I love my parents, I love my children, but I don't feel like I am like intentionally like
connecting with them consistently enough. I'm not having the impact that I can have in their life
and that they have in my life directly. Like I live like in proximity to all of that, and we
have like a healthy community conversation going all the time, because I know what they're doing,
and I know where they're at, I know what's going on. But I need that direct, I need that direct
connection that I think is important, and other things. So, and then the losing the weight,
that's the thing. So I want you to write five I am, or I've, you know, that doesn't have to be I am,
but like, you know, present tense. I have, I am doing, I am, I, you know, I possess, I own, I
am involved, you know, whatever the verb is, but it's present tense statements that are articulating
very specifically with numerical qualitative, quantitative, excuse me, and time bound as well,
if you can. Okay, by next week, write those statements down,
and then we'll continue to talk about those next time.
Hi, guys, God bless you. Have a great week. I'm glad to be back with you and just want to keep
moving forward doing good things. God bless. Have a best week. Thank you. Talk to y'all soon.