All right, we did record our 12 p.m. Central 1 p.m. Eastern session.
It was a longer session than normal, it was about an hour and a half, and there was some
really good stuff shared, so make sure that you watch that recording when it gets posted
because I feel like there was some good nuggets in there.
All right, so I am your guest mentor, which seems funny to say because I used to be the
only mentor, but now your hostess with the mostest is on a vacation, so Bethany is away
with her husband on a cruise, we're so happy for her to get some time off, that's exciting,
and so here I am, the OG, coming back.
So if you've never coached with me before, if you're new, then welcome to me, Jackie
D. I'm here to entertain you until you learn something tonight.
All right, let me see what week you're in.
Put in the comments what week of heart work you're in, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, I want to see what
we've got going on tonight.
Courtney is in that forgiveness week, girl, hold on tight.
All right, we've got a couple people.
Marishka is also in the forgiveness week, Joanna is in that week, too, you guys, that's
a tough week a lot of times.
Make sure you take it slow, low and slow.
Jenny is in week two, that's that understanding your heart phase, that's a good one.
Alicia's in her final phase of heart work, that the real you, all those counterfeits
are being peeled away, the real you's rising, Jennifer is in there, too, Stacy's in there,
too, week five.
You guys, I can't sound out names, is it Kajsa, help me, say it again.
Kajsa.
Kajsa?
Yes.
All right, see, thank you, I would have never gotten that.
You guys, if you don't know this, I am phonetically dyslexic, which means I cannot sound things
out at all, which means I can't speak a foreign language because I can't sound things out.
So, heal me, Lord.
Okay, so we have a lot of people finishing week two, that's an important week of really
understanding that you are a spirit that lives in a body that possesses a soul.
You want to understand not just where you are now in life, but how you got there.
And so that week two is some real important information on that.
Week three is that confession week, very important stuff.
Supernatural surrender, we have some ladies in here that are just starting out week one,
we have Sarah and Lori and Aris, Aris, Aris, Aris, I don't know, something, something that's
an A-R-I-S in week one as well.
And so welcome all of you newbies, you're in for a treat.
I want to make sure that you know that week one is so important to foundational, to the
foundation of what you're about to do.
Supernatural surrender, so important.
And so make sure that you're not mailing that first weekend, that you're really signing
that permission slip, that you're really leaning into the idea that God can only do what we
can allow Him to do.
Did you guys know that?
It's not what God can do, because God can do anything.
It's what we believe He can do.
It's what we allow Him to do.
And so that was a hard learned lesson for me in my life.
You may not be there either yet.
You may think that you're there, but you're not, meaning that you don't understand why
you don't have breakthrough in your life, but you're still sitting behind the steering
wheel of the car.
You're still driving.
You're still in control, full control.
I just watched a hilarious video about what happens when Jesus takes the wheel.
It was very funny.
I should post it in your group.
It was Mr. Toe's Wild Ride, and it's pretty accurate, actually.
So God will take us places that we would never take ourselves when He is in control.
Guys, I just want to start out our session tonight.
I do have the notes that Bethany put together from your roll call, and we will go over those
topics.
But I just want to start out tonight's session by saying I am so sad in my heart tonight
because I had a front row seat to a woman sabotaging her love story today.
And I see that a lot.
I do.
But this guy, when I tell you that he's top shelf, he's top shelf, and not just like in
the eyes of his grandmother.
mother. I mean, in the eyes of everyone, he's tall. First of all, he's tall, y'all. Okay.
He's tall. He's in the gym. He's good looking. You know, he's got nice eyes, got nice features,
good skin, dresses, nice, kind, considerate, loves God, masculine, has a good job, makes great money.
I mean, what's there not to like here? He's not goofy or nerdy or weird. Okay.
He's cool to a certain extent. He's in his mid thirties, never married, no kids, no baggage.
And this girl that he really deeply cares about is sabotaging herself.
She's sabotaging herself. Why is she sabotaging herself? Because
he's a good guy. You guys know that saying nice guys finish last. It's actually really true.
Why is this? Why? Why have women been conditioned to want to be with the men
that are going to cause them the most pain? Why? Why? Now I will admit
that healthy relationships are far less exciting than the dysfunctional ones.
Okay. The roller coaster ride is fun for a minute until you get off and you throw up.
So truly, it is going to be a little anticlimactic for those of you that have been
riding the Ferris wheel. Okay. Riding the, what's that called? When I was a kid,
it was called the rotor or something. Forgive me guys, I have jet lag. The thing where it goes,
it spins and spins and you stick to the wall, you stick to the wall like gravity,
you're supposed to stick to the wall. Do you guys remember this ride
at the fair? The bottom falls out and you're supposed to stick to the wall and then you're
just hanging there. Like you remember when you take balloons and static electricity and you would
put them like this and then stick them to the wall? Did anyone ever do that with balloons when
you were a kid? Well, that's the concept of this ride. It starts going fast enough that the sheer
force will like pin you to the wall and then the bottom falls out and then you're stuck to the
wall, but your feet are not on anything because there's no bottom. Well, I never stuck to the
wall. I would start sliding down the wall on that ride. Okay. That was not a fun ride for me. I
hated that ride and my brother and all my friends always wanted to go on it, but I never Graviton.
Yeah. Something like that. I never stuck to the wall. I didn't, no matter how many times I went
on that ride, I hated it every time. And yet I kept getting on it. And this is what we do in
our love lives. We just keep getting on the ride that we hate. Why do we do this? And this is what
the heart work is supposed to be helping you do is unpack these toxic patterns of why you can't
receive love from people who are emotionally available and healthy enough to give it.
And instead we want to be in relationship with the people that are going to betray us and be
dishonest and unfaithful. The ones that are going to take us on a ride that we've already been on
plenty of times and we don't like it ever. Okay. So why am I saying that? Because you need to know
that you could become this girl. You might've already been her in the past, but I want to
help you not be her in the future because she is sabotaging an amazing opportunity.
Yep. And some of you, and I want you to be honest, if this is your takeaway, well, you know, she can't
help it if she's not attracted. A guy could really be great and he could be great on paper,
but you know, you can't predict attraction.
Attraction is rooted in something. Did you know that?
You're not just born with your attractions. Your attractions come from somewhere.
And if your attractions are leading you to dysfunctional relationships, then that means
your attractions are not working for you. They're working against you. And that means that they're
rooted in dysfunction. They're rooted in trauma. These counterfeit identities, those of you that
are in week five, you're peeling back the counterfeits and allowing the real you to
emerge, the authentic you. Those counterfeits, each one of those counterfeits has a whole ecosystem
around it, meaning that it has.
likes and dislikes and preferences, who it thinks it is, who it doesn't think it is,
who it is, who it's not, what it will do, what it won't do. Do you guys get that?
All those counterfeit identities that were created by trauma,
they aren't just, they're not just one faceted, they're multifaceted.
And so what you have to do is you have to be present in yourself when you're doing something
that's unworthy of you. Whatever behavior pattern is leading you into trouble, it's leading you to
heartache and pain. There's a scripture in the Bible that says, take my feet off this path of
pain, God, and lead me back to you. So anytime you find yourself in situations that you don't
want to be in, you have to take inventory of how you got there. What choices, what decisions,
what preferences, what attractions got you there? And then you got to unpack that stuff
because all of that is rooted somewhere in some type of lie and some type of trauma and some type
of lie that's in that trauma, a whole belief system that is creating this less than kingdom
life for you. Amen. Do you guys know the most successful people in this world? And I don't
mean success on like a secular scale, the most kingdom successfully, successfully kingdom people,
jet lag, sorry, you guys. They are people that are very intentionally self-aware.
And you know what happens when you decide to become intentionally self-aware?
You're going to be slower to process things. You're going to make decisions a little bit slower.
You're going to speak a little bit slower. You're going to take a few moments to take inventory of
the situation before you just come out guns blaring. Before you say yes to the opportunity,
you're going to take a few moments, maybe even a few hours, maybe even a few days
to get down to whether or not it is in your real self's best interest.
Come on, you guys picking this up what we're tracking on here with Holy Spirit.
One rightly timed yes
is powerful. And at the same time, all the no's that it takes to get to that yes, powerful.
Life-changing.
But it takes desire and that's what the heart work is all about.
It takes desire to want to live at full capacity as your real God-created self.
And you guys, it's not an overnight process and there will be ebbs and flows and there will be
wrong turns and there will be all different types of things that happen in this process.
But as long as you in the next moment make the next decision to once again go back to that
intentionality of taking time to really process and be self-aware, you can get back on track.
Okay, so we have to think about what we're thinking about.
And so for those of you that are in for a little bit of a break,
and so for those of you that are in phase one, or I'm sorry, in a week one of phase one heart work,
that's what that permission slip is all about. If you read it carefully, it's talking about
my favorite prayer, which is simple, teach me, show me, heal me, grow me.
It's talking about if there is anything that is in the unconscious realm,
any belief systems, any pretenses that I'm living my life by that I'm not aware of consciously,
I'm giving you permission to de-energize.
Disconnect me from my default systems
Do you guys believe that
How many of you are already seeing that happen
Your default whatever you default to you you're starting to be aware of it
It's called the revealing for healing starting to be aware. Oh, wait a second
There's something about this that seems
Not like me
You'll start to notice the imposter
Type stuff you'll start to notice the counterfeit stuff
It'll feel like it has anyone noticed this yet, it'll feel like you're acting
It'll actually feel like you're being fake when you're operating in those old
mindsets
Has anyone here ever
You know as you're in this healing process, have you said something and literally said in your mind?
I don't actually think what I just said was true
Like you're you're playing along and you're saying something that maybe you would have normally said in the past
But now when it leaves your lips, it sounds false. It rings
false anybody else and
And then you're just like
What am I a liar now? What's going on?
know what's happening is is that the real you is is starting to
Gain momentum. And so these counterfeit versions of you are starting to feel exactly that counterfeit
One thing I want you to be especially aware of
Is what and who bring out your counterfeits the most
What what triggers those counterfeits and what are they you can even give them names if you want to
Like you can give one of your counterfeits because you we have more than one you guys it's not just it's like multiple personalities, okay
So what brings out your people pleaser?
What brings out your people pleaser what circumstances brings out your toxic people pleaser
For those of you that have that counterfeit what brings that out who brings that out, you know
Let's give them some names let's give our counterfeit some names right now
Let's do that let's do that as an activation
I will go over the things the notes that Bethany left for us
But I did a lot of that in the first session for this today
So because that's available in replay, I want to go after some other things tonight
So what are who brings out the counterfeits let's give our counterfeits some names and don't be shy you guys
Because remember those are not the real you anyway, so don't be embarrassed
Maybe one of your counterfeits is a liar
You
Pay attention if you if you say things that are not true
Pay attention to what circumstances make you you know
Pull you into that
Where you feel like is it when you feel like you're being questioned when people are being nosy
They're asking too many questions
Is it when you're around people that you don't want them to know your business and so you find yourself telling little white lies?
About what you're doing or where you're going or how you feel about things, you know
What are those counterfeits let's name them an avoidant counterfeit, okay
Okay, let's name them like for those of you that are Millennials
Let's name them like friends shows the one where I have to have it all together
The one who acts like they're always happy that's a good one
When go ahead and unmute yourself. When do you feel like you have to put on the smile?
A pretty girl is a happy girl. When does that counterfeit come out who what circumstance?
Eris Aris, tell me how you pronounce your name and tell us when that comes out
You
Eris like Paris perfect. Are you gonna unmute yourself? Are you somewhere you that you can't talk?
Exactly. She said she's at work. Okay, so she's at work right now and that is the place where
She feels like she has to always act like everything's good
Now you have to ask yourself why?
Ask Holy Spirit to show you why why do you have to always be chipper and happy at work?
Why do you have to be that person?
Why?
Everybody has trouble everyone feels down. Not everyone's having a good day every day
So, how come?
why is your value at work a
Counterfeit of always up always on always good ask yourself that. All right. Let's go to some other ones
Have to have everything under control Laura when around who
Joanna is very similar. I have to have it all together. Why who said
Where does it come from
This is Joanna, I
Don't know I guess I don't really know where it comes from but
It's just always has been in
In green that I have to like have it all together
And it's in every aspect
Like with my family
At work in business
Okay
Well, first of all is dishonest, right
Because nobody has it all together
24-7 and
Actually some of the most endearing parts of us write this down
some of the most endearing parts of you meaning the parts that people will like the most and people will feel the most drawn to
Are the messier parts of you?
And a lot of times we don't believe that because we're raised in families that don't allow us to express emotion
Unless that emotion is I'm good
We're all out to be angry or sad
We're not allowed to have any kind of beef
be upset about anything any kind of pushback and kind of conflict and
Then there are some families where there's nothing but conflict all the time
and
so
You need to know and God wants you to know that some of the best parts of you
Are
Messy
And see you might think that those are not fit for public consumption, but
They are and you guys I think this is a gender thing as well
Because I know that it's socially acceptable for men to be angry
Right
For them to get ticked off for them to have road rage for them to whatever but women
Generally speaking. We're supposed to be happy
And kind
You know, it's a general it's it's a generation thing the younger women maybe they're not dealing with that as much but if you're in
here right now and you're
You know
40 and up let's say
Definitely you have been taught that women should act a certain way
And
Usually that way is happy
Well, if you want to attract a man you better be happy
You better smile
And
No one could smile all the time. Nobody's happy all the time. And I will tell you that comes across as very disingenuous
Now we also don't want to be known as forgive me for saying this because I'm trying to make a point
I don't think that this should be named a person's name and if this is your name
I'm not saying that this is your identity, but no one wants to be branded as a Karen nowadays
I've always felt so sorry for everyone named Karen after that happened, right? Because that sucks
But you know, that is a woman who is visibly and publicly upset
And not having it and as you know
Apparently not allowed to be that
Did you guys know that?
Gen Z. So that's anyone who's
27 and down right now that
You know when they work in customer service or they work in public face
facing jobs, they actually will not deal with people who are unhappy with whatever service
or whatever's happening in the situation.
If you're upset, they actually shut down.
They shut down.
They not only don't help you, they're actually opposed to helping you if you're upset about
something, especially if you have any kind of tone or you seem aggressive in any way,
shape or form.
Guys, we are dealing with a society who is continuously making it harder and harder and
harder for people to, you know, express unhappiness.
Now, I'm not saying you should be rude to people.
I'm not saying that you should show up entitled, but there are going to be times when, you
know, things aren't right.
And we're dealing with a society who wants everyone to act like everything's okay all
the time.
And that's not a real thing.
So Marsha says she can't make mistakes.
Jennifer says she has to be self-sufficient, has to take care of herself, has to depend
on herself.
She doesn't deserve good things to happen to her.
Laura said her mom always taught her to have it together in public.
Sarah's the peacekeeper.
She can't disagree or rock the boat.
Shelly says be careful not to be too much around family.
So she's telling us who that counterfeit comes out around, family.
Don't let them see you sweat.
Don't show any weakness.
It's almost like being around a bunch of predators, right?
April says around her sister, she feels like she always has to be positive.
Annette said church.
I'm trying to figure out what that goes with.
Annette, what did that go with?
I'm trying to scroll back.
Just, I know church is supposed to be a place where we could go for healing at, but I have
came across a lot of people I feel like that are judgmental in church.
And so it made me not want to open up and just express really how I was feeling.
It's called religion, right?
Religion expects you to be perfect.
Jesus even said to the Pharisees, he's like on the outside, you look good, but inside
you is dead men's bones.
Right?
So we go to churches where everyone's dressed up nice looking good, you know, sit next to
their spouses.
Everything seems kosher on the surface, but underneath the surface, that ain't true.
Right?
Right.
I went to a church like that too.
And you guys, I will tell you, and this is important.
This is why it's important for us to be who we really are.
And who cares if people judge us because somebody wants to see your humanity.
Somebody needs to see you're messy.
When I first became a believer, I went to a church that on the surface, everybody seemed
to have it all together, which made me feel worse.
It made me feel more damaged because I was like, Oh my goodness, all these people, they
love their spouses, they love their kids.
And I have a half drank bottle of vodka underneath the seat of my car right now as we speak.
And I'm like trying to make it here, you know, and the women's gatherings were really bad
because everyone seemed so perfect and perfectly manicured and dressed and all the things and
problems.
But you guys know that that same church is where 10 years later, the pastor went to prison
because he was stealing all the money, cheating on his wife, had a whole nother family, had
other kids.
Half the people in that church ended up getting divorced after he was arrested because they
were all living a lie.
porn addictions, swingers, swapping husbands and wives, all kinds of crazy crap.
And how does that happen? It happens when we have a form of godliness. It's a big show,
but we deny the power that can truly make us holy. And that's what goes on, unfortunately,
in a lot of spiritual communities. And so here's the advice that I have to people who don't feel
like they can be truly themselves at their church. Find a new church. Don't go to that church.
If you can't express where you're at or what you're going through and have people come around
you and support you and pray for you, and not for the purpose of gossiping about you
or finding out the tea, then you're in the wrong place. Guys, half of my mental health issues were
because I was at that church. As soon as the pastor went to prison and the whole church fell
apart and basically closed its doors and I was forced to not be there anymore because there was
no way to be there, I got almost immediately better because of the spiritual abuse and the
stress of that place was really a lot of what was going on with me. And of course, the abusive
marriage that I was in that ended with that church's ending. Because sometimes it's a rescue
mission. Whatever calamity happened in your life, God actually was using that calamity to rescue
you because he knew that you were never going to leave any other way because of your toxic loyalty.
And yes, I put the word toxic in front of loyalty.
If your loyalty to anything is killing you and your children, it's toxic.
Don't pat yourself on the back. Oh, I'm a lifer. I'm a ride or die.
Well, you might just get your wish. Die. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
There's nothing wrong with quitting when something's not working.
It's absolutely godly to give up. Somebody needs to hear that. It's absolutely godly to give up.
It is. In some cases, it's what needs to happen.
So for those of you that have been beating yourself up because you gave up on something
and you just still feel like such a failure, failure is a component of success.
Failure is necessary in life. And God promises us in Romans 8, 28, that he will work all things
to the good of those that love him and are called according to his purposes.
And really his purpose is just that you would show this world what it looks like to be a son
or a daughter of God. Right? All right. So that's important, guys. That's important stuff.
So I like the vulnerability here. So let's just keep going with that.
Some of you need some endings. You're here for a new beginning, but new beginnings require endings.
And so even though some of you already have this t-shirt and this mug,
you've already been to this rodeo that we're talking about right now,
and you've already left those places, there's some of you that are still in those places
of toxic loyalty and you still do need to leave. It could be your job. It could be a spiritual
community. It could be a friend group that's never had your back. They don't ever clap when you win.
Right? They haven't been for you for a moment, for not even a moment.
But I've known him since kindergarten. I don't care.
That just means that you've just put up with it for way too long.
God can't fill a space that you don't make empty.
You got to empty that space so God can fill it.
Guys, we would not pride ourselves on anything else in any other genre.
Like we do hanging on to broke down, messed up, toxic, hooptie relationships.
Apply that to a car. Would you brag to everybody that, oh, you know,
I've just been through thick and thin with this car. This car is blown up. This car has caught
fire. This car doesn't even have any seats in it anymore. I'm sitting on the floorboard
riding this, you know, hooptie. It's what we used to call it when I was a kid.
Would you brag about that? No, you wouldn't. Why? You'd be embarrassed.
You'd be embarrassed to admit that you had helped somebody.
Hold on to this thing.
You're going to ride it till the wheels fall off.
But why, why do we do that with human relationships?
Bragging about how this person's put us through hell and
back, but we're still here.
What, what, why does that make any sense?
Why do we consider that noble?
You guys, that comes from somewhere.
And so ask Holy spirit to show you where you started believing
that love hurts and that the longer that you stay in and with
people that are hurting you and taking advantage of you and
putting you through it over and over again, why that somehow
says that you're a good person.
If people in your life say, oh, I don't know how you put up
with that.
It probably means you shouldn't be.
Alright, so Holy spirit would not take us down that rabbit
trail unless that's for several people.
So if the shoe fits, babe.
Come on.
God wants us to get free.
And just so you know.
When we stay in dead places like that, we stay in dead counterfeit
personalities.
The real you can't survive in those places.
And so you're going to always have to create a false you in
order to be there.
Cool.
All right.
Anyone want to give some input?
Want to speak to that?
Want to say, hey, that's me.
Help me.
I want out of here.
Emily said that's for her.
Eris said Amen.
Rebecca said my ex threw that at me that it was godly to give
up that it was godly to give up on me for not doing my wifely
duty and giving him enough sex.
That's gag.
Toxic religion taught us this because then we are not loving
right?
Yeah, our definition of love and God's definition of love.
Not the same.
It's not the same.
And whoever posted that about your ex said that it was okay
to give up on you because you weren't giving him enough sex.
So he divorced you girl.
You dodged a bullet.
Because that smacks of narcissism.
Right just about me.
It's about my needs and about something so base.
Yeah, we want to have sexual compatibility in our marriages,
but anyone who makes that the main aspect of marriage.
They didn't they don't want a wife.
Right?
They just want a sexual outlet.
No, thanks.
I mean you can unmute yourself and answer this but I bet your
sex life sucked.
I bet it was not fulfilling and intimate in any way shape or
form.
I bet it felt like
you were being
used.
Yeah, that that was me.
Yeah, and yes, I think I didn't notice it because I was too
busy taking care of him and his you know physical issues and
his I'm a wounded warrior thing and
the real truth is after 20 years.
He was patched up but just wanted to go play.
Yeah.
Guys anytime a woman or even a man but we're women.
So let's talk about us anytime a woman in a relate in a marriage
doesn't really want to have sex and you've ruled out biological
like situations like medical situations like hormones and
different things like that is because there isn't an emotional
depth to the relationship.
There isn't a strong emotional
connection
and women don't want to give their bodies to men that they
don't feel safe with.
It's a real buzzkill.
Well, and I think some women just aren't initiators.
I never told the man.
No,
he could have had as much as he wanted.
Yeah,
you know,
Yeah.
But you knew that 20 years ago when we got married.
Well, he wouldn't have anything to complain about then, right?
He wouldn't have anything to complain about.
You guys, there's a shocking amount of married women who have absolutely no enjoyment in
their sex lives.
They don't even have orgasms because there isn't any kind of compatibility there where
their pleasure or their needs or their intimacy is being prioritized.
It's a shocking amount of women and not just like our age of women, but even younger women.
And so my daughters are both married.
I have a 27-year-old daughter and I have a 23-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old daughter,
all of her friends got married at the same time.
So all of them have been married for a couple of years now and she's been talking to her
friends because they're all married women about their sex lives and different things.
Some of them are having babies now and different things.
And she's like, mom, she's like, nobody is enjoying their sex lives.
No one's having orgasms.
No one is feeling seen or known or prioritized in this area of their marriage.
And I blame a few things.
I blame the purity movement, right?
These younger kids, they're getting married and they have no idea about sex or how to
even navigate that or what they're allowed to want or desire in those situations.
There's a lot of shame around sex still, unfortunately, because of religion.
And so even though now they're legally allowed to have sex because they're married, they
still can't really enjoy it or really get into it or really explore it because they
feel like that's out of bounds.
So there's that.
And then there's also the, unfortunately, within the Christian sphere, there's a lot
of ideas that sex is really just for the, either for procreation or for the enjoyment
of men, right?
Which is so not true.
It's so not true.
Okay.
It's so not true.
God wants us.
He made us sexual beings.
And just so you guys know, that's not part of the curse.
Adam and Eve are going to be intimate with each other.
They were.
That's why they were male and female.
That's why God brought them together.
That's why it was not good for a man to be alone.
One of the aspects is that the masculine and the feminine are better together in every
way, including sexually.
And so sex is not part of the curse, it's part of divine design.
And so maybe this is something that you need to unpack during this heartwork phase of Last
Year Single program.
You need to unpack all of your ideas about intimacy that are based in counterfeit.
And that counterfeit could have happened when you were sexually violated, repressed, oppressed,
abused.
Any and all of those things.
And when I say oppressed or repressed by religion, by your parents, by the things you've been
taught, and then also we can be sexually abused not just by people, but by ideas, by society,
by movies, by books we've read, all different types of things can cause sexual dysfunction.
And so if you feel like you have shame around sex, if you feel like you have fear around
sex, then that is part of a counterfeit that you're going to want to unpack because your
future marriage is full of intimacy, including physical, right?
And so we want to make sure that we're getting to the bottom of that before we get there.
Guys, that's what this is all about.
This is helping you to diffuse these bombs before they ever go off, right?
Helping you unpack these boxes so you don't have to move them into your marriage and clutter
it all up.
That is what this is about.
And not just your marriage, your future marriage, but also your relationship with God in yourself
and your relationships with others that are not romantic.
This is meant for you to live abundantly.
All right, so let's keep going with these counterfeits.
I feel like that's kind of the theme of our call tonight.
This is where Holy Spirit led us, and so let's just keep going with this.
Who has something that they want to share about what we're talking about right now about
a counterfeit that you're dealing with?
Maybe you know where it comes from, maybe you don't, but let's dig into it together.
I can share.
I don't entirely know what to call it.
I've actually been trying to figure out how to word it fully, but it's basically this
sense of like...
Like I have to be the responsible one.
Um, and that phrase I've kind of known for a long time, but the Lord's been
really helping me unpack that lately.
Um, and it seems to come out in like, so my mom has an illness
that she's had my whole life.
It's more noticeable now.
It wasn't necessarily noticeable as a kid, but I think I kind of picked up on it
enough to go, if I'll react a certain way or, or, um, act a certain way, tends
to lean into perfection, like it'll help her, it'll help, it'll fix how she's
feeling, she'll be able to be more present.
And that also then played out with dad would come home frustrated
because he didn't like his job.
And I would, but it would be the same feeling of I'm the one, basically,
I'm the one who has to be responsible to manage their emotions.
And I think what I've noticed is it's just come out in more than just that.
I've been seeing it at work too.
I carry, I just carry the weight of so many things, probably more
than what my actual role requires.
And it's just kind of been like that my whole life.
So the responsible one, I guess, the counterfeit.
All right.
So let's ask a question.
Yeah.
Let's ask ourselves this question.
What would happen?
Okay.
If, how do you say your name?
Anya.
What would happen if Anya didn't keep other people fixed?
What would happen if Anya didn't do what she does?
What, what would, what would happen?
What is it that you think would happen if you were not responsible?
Like you're saying, what, what do you think would happen?
Honestly, the first thought that comes to mind is I would actually probably be way
less stressed about a lot of things.
Um, I don't know.
I think in some scenarios, I feel like things would, things would be
I think in some scenarios, I feel like things would, would fall apart.
Yeah.
I feel like they would fall apart.
Like, what would that look like?
Like, let's just take your parents for instance.
If you didn't, however, you're showing up that you're calling the responsible one.
If you didn't do whatever that looks like, what do you think, what
do you think would happen?
What would it look like?
Um, I'm trying to, would mom, would mom and dad like fight and get divorced?
Um, would like, like, would, would mom not get out of bed?
Would she just, you know, like, I mean, like, I don't know what the scenarios
are, like what would happen if you did not show up in this energy that
you're talking about right now?
Cause I think it's important for you to just go ahead and do what you're doing.
Cause I think it's important for you to just go ahead and face, like the truth
of this is what I think would happen if I didn't continue to be in this counterfeit
and then go ahead and let it happen.
And because I guarantee you, it's not going to look like whatever
it is that you're fearing.
Yeah.
And at the same time, you know, you have to let things fall apart.
You have to.
Yeah.
The only way out of this is literally to allow the poop to hit the fan.
You have to.
Yeah.
So I just want to know, because it's never what we think.
What do you think that looks like?
What are you afraid of?
That's where I'm like, I'm not even sure if I know, I know.
Right.
Yeah.
Cause no, they would definitely not.
Like they've been so committed to each other through all of this.
And I've probably, I'm seeing that more now.
So I have zero fear of if I don't step into those places, they're
not going to be together.
Zero.
None.
Okay.
So maybe you stepping into those places is keeping dad from stepping
up the way he needs to in life.
Cause here's the thing that we don't understand is that when we are in our
counterfeits, whatever they are.
Okay.
Anya is telling us for a counterfeit.
We really appreciate that.
Cause that's a catalyst for all of us right now.
But when we show up in our counterfeits, especially counterfeits that are.
Uh, people fixers or pleasers or, you know, um, you know, toxic, uh,
codependent kind of trauma, bondings and different things.
When we do that, we're actually keeping that other person stuck with us.
It's not just us that staying stuck in these counterfeits, all
these other people are stuck too.
And yes, it is true that when we decide to show up as our real selves,
when we decide to say no, when we decide.
to, you know, not do the things that we've done in the past that we know are not good,
there is going to be fallout. We don't, we're afraid of what that looks like. We're afraid
of conflict. We're afraid of people not loving us anymore or people not, you know,
people abandoning us because now we're not what they want or whatever. We're afraid of that stuff,
but we have to face it. And those other people have to face it too. And it is true that there
are some relationships that could even possibly end if we won't play the false role anymore.
Those relationships have to end and they should.
Look, I'm not saying it's easy. I actually lost my best friend of 20 plus years.
She barely ever even talks to me now. And the reason why was because I was,
didn't want to show up as the giver and her, the taker anymore. It was a very one-sided friendship,
you know, best friends. But the problem is, is that we weren't best friends because a best
friendship is a reciprocal friendship, right? And it wasn't reciprocal and it never had been
reciprocal. It was very one-sided. And finally, instead of just secretly resenting her and always
feeling unsupported, like she was my maid of honor and she didn't do anything. She didn't help me.
She didn't go to me to pick out my dress. She wasn't there for the fittings. She didn't ask me
what I needed. In fact, one of my other bridesmaids that I should have made my maid of honor was there.
She made, you know, help me make all the decorations and do all the things and all that.
And my maid of honor didn't plan my bachelorette party, didn't do anything
because that was my best friend. And I gave her that role that she didn't deserve.
And that's just like one little snippet of all the different things that had built up over the years.
But I always forgave her because I never even called her out on any of it because she was my
best friend, right? And then one day, I just realized that I really resented her. And it was
causing me to have a lot of bitterness building up in my heart. And so I finally just said, hey,
you know, we're not best friends. And we're not. And we never had been. And now we don't have bad
blood. There's definitely forgiveness there, but there's also not that fake relationship anymore
either. Feel me? Who would be honest and say that you have some type of counterfeit that
if you stopped being it, that you would lose a relationship over it?
Lori said she would lose one. Melissa said she would lose one. Florence said, yes, me.
But you guys, it's worth it because when you make that space,
actually it gets filled with someone else and something else.
It does.
The other day, I have, I think I might attract like, um, not like I'm, they think I'm their best
friend, but they're not my best friend. So the other day I was asked by a mutual friend that I
don't see a lot. When I was in Europe, I saw one of my friends and they were like, hey, is so-and-so
really your best friend? Because like, you know, people will shout you out on social media and
be like besties, you know, and different things like that. So they had seen something like that.
And they're like, Hey, is so-and-so really your best friend? Um, and I was like, well,
we're good friends. And they're like, but are you best friends? And I said, well, to be honest,
I would not, I would not feel comfortable calling them out on anything. Like I wouldn't feel
comfortable calling them out. And they're like, well, then you're not best friends.
And I'm like, you're right. We're not. You guys, if you have a close friendship that you would not
feel comfortable challenging them, okay. You wouldn't feel comfortable telling them that
something that they're doing is probably not good for them or wise. If you would not feel
comfortable bringing correction, kind of check you before you wreck you kind of energy, that's
not your best friend. It's not. Okay. I don't know why we're harping on friends right now, but
friends are really important.
important part of our lives.
And if you don't have close friends
and you have counterfeit friends, or you have frenemies,
you have people who are jealous or envious of you,
you have people that have been in your life for a long time,
but you know that they're holding you back
because they're always really negative about your progress
or your dreams or things, you know,
they don't clap when you win,
it's time for you to get some new friends.
Okay?
Cool.
Lucy just lost a friend.
Virginia lost some friends.
Laura says she finally has authentic friends.
Alicia's lost several.
God's beginning to rebuild some authentic friendships.
That's really good, you guys.
That's really good.
Who'd be honest to say,
hey, I would really love to have
some authentic friends in my life.
I would really love
to make some new friendships that could be really like,
almost like family, strong, strong bonds
of mutual reciprocation support.
Emily, Emily wants some friends.
I think I honestly, I think I have a desire for that.
I spend a lot of time with women, as you guys know,
but just because you teach and coach a lot of women
doesn't mean that you have a lot of close personal friends.
And I do have a couple,
but I definitely would like some more, I think, for sure.
Veronica says me.
She wants that.
All right, you guys, here's the truth.
If you want to attack, oop, I hit the camera.
If you want to attract real ones,
you got to be a real one, okay?
Counterfeit attracts counterfeit, write that down.
If you're operating in your counterfeit,
meaning that you're afraid of rejection,
so you're always flattering or you're people-pleasing,
or you're not speaking up about the things you want,
you're just letting the other person
always make the decisions
so that they'll be friends with you
because you're so easygoing, that's the counterfeit.
You guys, nobody is easygoing
to the point where they don't have preferences,
they don't have opinions.
That's not easygoing, that's fear of rejection.
What do you want to do?
Oh, I don't know, what do you want to do?
What?
Oh, you know, I'm just laid back,
I'm just easygoing, Jackie, I'm just go with the flow,
you know, whatever anyone else wants, I'm cool with it.
No, that's a counterfeit.
That's not your real personality.
That is how you've learned to be from some kind of trauma.
Your family growing up, you're the middle kid,
there's all kinds of chaos in the family
because there's a lot of kids
and everybody wants their own way
and you've just learned to sacrifice your desires
in order to keep the peace.
That's not healthy.
You guys, my son is falling in love with a girl right now,
I'm super excited, they're dating, they're serious,
but there's been several cute girls in the past
that liked my son and he never really liked them back.
He went on maybe one or two dates with them
and I would always say to my son,
hey, that girl seems really nice, what's wrong with her?
And he would always have the same answer,
he'd say, yeah, he's like, she's too easygoing,
like she doesn't really have any opinions.
My son was desiring a challenge,
he was desiring not conflict in the way of like pushback,
but he was desiring like a push and pull
that would grow him and help him to expand his horizons.
Makes sense?
And I'm telling you, good men want a woman
who has opinions.
And I'm telling you,
good men want a woman who has opinions.
They want a woman who has her own mind,
has her own preferences.
And so if you don't have those things,
let's get to the bottom of why you don't have them,
because I guarantee you, it's a trauma of some sort.
It's a belief system that you should just be easygoing,
laid back.
How many times have we heard like in movies and stuff,
the guy go, man, she's just so cool,
she's just so easy to be with.
You know, she's like one of the guys.
And then of course, we see that on movies.
We're like, oh yeah, that's what men want.
That's not what men want.
Men that are marriage-minded, that's not what they want.
Men that are Peter Pans,
that don't wanna be held accountable,
they don't wanna grow up, they don't wanna mature,
they don't wanna be stretched, yeah, they might want that.
They might want the girl that doesn't have any expectations
and doesn't want anything from them.
It's just easy, go with the flow and whatever they want,
okay, but men that want wives, that's not what they want.
And you don't want those Peter Pans.
You don't want them.
Uh-huh, that's what I said.
And then we go back to childhood.
See what Marsha's saying here?
She's saying, I was never allowed
to have my own opinion growing up.
Uh-huh.
Did anyone ever have that growing up in your family?
You try to voice something and someone say,
nobody asked you?
Anyone come from a family when their kids
are supposed to be seen and not heard?
You never had a say?
Nobody cared how you felt about anything?
This is what the adults had decided
and that was what was gonna happen.
You didn't have a voice.
Anybody?
Okay, Eris said yes, Sarah said yes.
Marsha already said that.
I'm gonna go back to the friend group for a minute
because Rebecca made a point that I think is really good.
As you grow, it hurts bad when so many have to go
or you let them go, but it's so worth it
when you're left with a small tribe
of ride or die partners in life.
And you guys, all you need is a small circle.
You don't need to have tons and tons of friends.
I don't even think that we have the bandwidth for that.
Acquaintances, community, sure,
but the people that you let in your inner, inner circle
that are really close to you and know you the best,
it's gonna be a small group of people.
It is.
Like you guys know me, you know, you joined my program,
you've heard me teach probably a lot of times.
And so there's a certain type of familiarity
that's built there, but you don't know me.
You know me, but you don't know me, right?
And I may get to know some of you,
may even end up matchmaking some of you, different things,
and I may know you, but I don't know you.
The people that we let into those inner,
inner intimacy, into me see places,
those are gonna be very few people.
By Sprint, or is that just the name of your phone?
Is that just the name of your carrier that's on there?
All right, well, we just speak healing over you right now.
Father, we just declare that that cough is gone
in Jesus' name.
Whatever's causing it, Lord.
Inflammation, bacteria, we just ask God
that that would totally leave her body, Tammy's body.
Thank you, Lord.
Middle child syndrome.
My opinion wasn't even heard or acknowledged.
I'm also a middle child, yes.
I struggle to recognize if I have discernment
about friendships or if it's a critical spirit, okay?
If you've been hurt by a lot of friendships,
then it's possible that you could be trying
to kind of pull away before they pull away from you.
You guys, all of the same things
that we apply to romantic relationships
where we're looking for red flags
and we're wanna, you know, we don't wanna get hurt,
we wall ourselves off, we do that in other relationships,
too, not just romance.
Remember, I don't know if you guys read this or not,
depending on where you are in the book,
but hurt in relationship, healed in relationship,
that is also hurt in friendship.
That is also hurt in friendship, healed in friendship.
Hurt in community, healed in community.
Hurt in marriage, healed in marriage.
God really wants us to focus on friendships tonight
for some reason, and so you need to know
that from the very beginning,
friendship has been a very important part
of our divine design.
Several people at the very beginning of God's entire plan were friends with God.
Friendship is super divine.
Raise your hand if you've ever had a really, really good friend.
They were there for you.
They were understanding.
They weren't out for what they could get from you.
They wanted to give to you.
They didn't let anyone talk bad about you when you weren't in the room.
They also called you out on your stuff and love.
That's awesome, right?
To have a good friend, isn't it so good?
Yeah, it's so good.
I'm feeling like, I know some of you are in the forgiveness portion and some of you, you
know, you're not there yet.
You're in week one or two or three and you're not in four yet, or some of you might be in
five in your past forgiveness portion, but I'm really feeling in my heart like there's
some of us that need to repent for not being a good friend and some of us that actually
need to reach out to someone and maybe even apologize for not being a good friend.
And there's others of us that need to forgive someone who we trusted and loved, but they
weren't a good friend to us.
I'm feeling like there's some forgiveness work to do around the area of friendship.
What do you guys think?
Nikki got your hand up because you had a good friend.
Is that person still in your life?
What about you, Lori?
Are these people still in your lives?
They've been a good friend to you guys.
Have you been a good friend to them?
Good.
Can anyone think of someone who was really good to you in a season of your life, but
you really didn't give that back?
Someone that you might need to reach out to and say, Hey, I really appreciate your friendship.
Thank you so much.
I'm sorry that I wasn't a better friend to you.
I can think of someone.
You know what often happens is that we have this one person that we really want to be
our best friend.
We really want them to reciprocate.
We really idolize this relationship and we want it to be our best friendship.
When there's this other person over here, like the bridesmaid in my wedding, who actually
was a better friend than this other person.
They were there for me.
They did serve me.
They did all this thing, but I didn't appreciate their friendship because I was fixated on
this person becoming my best friend.
I was wanting this person's affection and affirmation and love, and I was taking this
other person for granted.
That's the real thing.
See what Lori's saying here.
In some ways, I feel like that about my first husband who was my best friend.
Okay.
Did he pass away?
Did you cheat on him?
Did you mess up the marriage?
What'd you, what happened?
No.
He was motocrossing and hurt his back really bad.
And it was in the 1990s before we knew what pain medication, what oxys did.
Well, he fell into a really bad addiction.
We were together for over 20 years.
We have four kids.
And so I was his best friend through all that and was doing everything.
But then when he decided to go racing his motorcycle again with no insurance and I was
homeschooling our kids and we, I don't know, just, I just got really angry and my heart
became dead to him because he said, F you motorcycles are my life.
See ya.
And he put studs in his tires and went raced on the ice.
And I just said, I can't do this on purpose.
And after that, I just shut my heart down and then moved my kids into my parents' house.
And you know, but I had tried to help him through his addiction for five years, you
know?
And I wonder, like, if I didn't show up, then he met the neighbor lady who was my friend
and then they were together.
And so then I got really angry and just turned my heart cold to God and said, Oh, you think
I can't go get attention somewhere else?
Watch me.
And it went down a really bad path with my children.
And, you know, we just now have resolved this, it's been 18 years in the desert, and I feel
like I never could give my heart to another man.
And I heard your message on these winters over, and God has brought me back to life
this year.
And I feel like there's hope for like a new life for me, my husband and my best friend.
I don't know if I didn't do enough, so I never could let go of it.
And I was able to actually, it was partially through grief share, because my second husband
died, that I found out that my real source of grief never left me, I was stuck in grief
with this first marriage ending, but you weren't really allowed to grieve a divorce.
He laughed.
It was supposed to be like, I could just be strong superwoman and go on, you know, it
wasn't like he died.
And then when my second husband died, I just turned into this grief canoe function.
And I knew it wasn't just him.
And that's when I found out I was really stuck in this original grief.
So I'm sorry to go on.
I just but like, when I think about that, you know, I don't know, was I not?
Because really, maybe I should never have left him, you know, and stayed with them to
that.
So I don't know.
So no, I what I when you're talking, what I hear Holy Spirit saying is that there's
been a lot of things that have been stolen from you, that, you know, God wants to return
a lot of things, a lot of things have been stolen from you.
You know, this, this addiction robbed you, you guys have your marriage.
You know, and, you know, when we love someone, it's very difficult to watch someone slowly
die in front of us, right to make decisions that that's why we harden our hearts, you
guys, our hearts get hardened, because we don't want to feel the pain of what's inevitable.
You know, the betrayal, the unfaithfulness, the bad decisions, the recklessness, all the
different things.
It doesn't sound like you could have stayed in that marriage, it sounds like you had to
separate yourself from what was happening there.
And all that happened was, is he just found someone that would enable him to continue
on the path that he was on, right?
Someone who wasn't gonna say no to that.
The part that I have a hard time giving is, you know, it's like biblical, like, put together
and we had four beautiful kids.
We had become Christians, we were clean from addiction for 19 years and became Christians
and raised our children in that.
And the part that I never saw coming was the effect on my kids.
I'm yelling at him and moving his oven and my son is curled up in a ball crying.
It's been a lot of years to try to walk through this with my kids.
And I fell apart as a mom and went back to that old crap.
And they had to be with me and he abandoned us.
And I just think, you know, maybe I should have been able to, like, trust, keep my focus
on God, instead of getting angry and turning away from God and then taking the whole family
into this trash, you know, regardless of what he did, regardless of him and his addiction.
I don't know, trusting God or saying that, I feel like I dropped the ball on that, you know?
Well, all of you guys need to know that God never expects us to trust him beyond our experience
with him, you know?
So I just want to let you know that you didn't have enough history with God to be able to
trust him in those places, okay?
At the level of believer that you were when all of that was coming against you, you didn't
have enough history with God in order to be able to trust him with that type of warfare.
And so the bottom line is, is that the enemy, you know, he wreaked havoc on your family
and on your marriage, and he's got to pay for that.
And so the things that have been stolen, the Bible says, have to be returned sevenfold.
And so I believe that you're in a season of restitution as you've come into this program,
and specifically where it concerns your children and any kind of grandchildren or any kind
of legacy that you have going on.
That you're gonna begin to see the blessings in favor of God show up on your children's lives and on their children's lives
And you're gonna realize that God never forgot about you
that even though you felt abandoned because
You know
You weren't delivered out of those moments and it didn't end the way you thought it should or would when you were trusting the Lord
that God saw you and
He saw what was being done to you the injustice of the things that were being done to you guys
You know via the warfare and the the spiritual things that were happening that you couldn't see
that there will be restoration for those things and
You will live to see that in this season of your life
I believe you're gonna begin to see a lot of it and I do believe that the next marriage that you have will bring a
Lot of closure and healing to these other experiences as well
It's okay, it's you guys it's okay to
Forgive ourselves for not knowing then what we know now
It's exciting because when I heard your message about putting us in a coma
You know because I couldn't heal from all of it. I couldn't even deal with it and I was making deadly choices using drugs and
Leaving my whole life and I came to California because my son called me and said mom
You know, you're not married and you don't need to be the way if your mom just died
You don't have to be the daughter and we love you, but we don't need you helicopter mommying us in a sick way
How about you come here to California and start a new life?
And it was like one of the best things that happened them and then through this process of hearing that message
I finally understood that I thought it was through my addiction that it was resentments and anger
But I learned in grief share and from what you said with the scriptures about God
Bringing the winter is over with that. It was a broken heart
I've had a broken
for a lot of years and
I'm free of that now and it's so exciting to you know that this new garden. I don't know what it's gonna be
But that's why I'm here to do this work because you know
I feel like things are budding around me and God is calling me to a new thing
And I'm in when I was thinking about this thing
I put my kids because I was always just trying to be this perfect mom to make total restitution to him and I had to be
Perfect. I could never be real or tell them the truth or something that might make them mad
And I just started being really real
This and letting it fall where it may and and if my kids need to work through some more stuff one daughter
That's okay. I'll walk with her in it, but I'm not gonna act fake or act like well
You're not giving me what I need and so I kind of just let it go and I'm just like, okay
Or act like well, you're not giving me what I need and said I can give her to God and
continue my authentic self and showing that I am relying on God and
Because really I used to feel like my children's salvation was if I did everything perfect
Maybe they'd end up perfected but you know, that's not the way it works that their relationship is between them and God
So that no reasons I'm beginning to get to a place where I can forgive myself for the mistakes
I did make you know when I dropped the ball in all of our lives
Absolutely, and in all of us there's without exception we all have made mistakes and
So forgiving yourself is one of the most powerful things that you're gonna do ladies
Forgiving yourself is one of the most important forgiveness templates that you're gonna write out when you get to level two week for
Make sure that you don't
Skip forgiving yourself and just forgiving everybody else. You need to forgive yourself and you also need to forgive God
You didn't make a forgiveness template for God
There's all kinds of resentments and grudges that we hold against God because we feel like hey, he's God
He could have done more. He could have shown up differently. He could have stopped that thing from happening
There's all different types of things that we
Unconsciously believe about you know God and what he does or doesn't do
Okay, and so we want to make sure that we're addressing that as well and Laurie said about you know
This whole time has been a broken heart you guys just like broken bodies
broken hearts look for medication
Okay, when our hearts are broken
It's just as painful as having a broken leg or a broken hip in a lot of in a lot of ways
it's even more painful than those things when we have a broken spirit and
We will look to be medicated. We will look for things that help us to
numb out and
so
Please keep that in mind when you've had your heart broken
The Bible says that God is close to the brokenhearted and those that are crushed in spirit
he's close to us and
Because we're in him and we live and we move in or we have our being inside of God. He takes up all space
He's omnipotent. He's omniscient because of that when we see that typology of he's close
to us? How can he be any closer to us when he's as close as our next heartbeat or our next breath?
And I want you to really think about that if you're brokenhearted right now or crushed in spirit, that God's promising to be somehow
supernaturally even closer to you
than he already is. And what I think is that
when we're brokenhearted and crushed in spirit, we actually
have the ability to
understand how close God is to us. Like we're able to be conscious
of
his presence in a way that we are not
in other seasons of life.
Does that make sense?
Because even though he's always with us, it's one of those things where you take it for granted and
you kind of become numb to his presence, kind of desensitized.
But when you're brokenhearted and you're crushed in spirit, I feel like that is when you feel his nearness
even though he's always near, that's when you're really
aware of it
more than ever before.
And so Lori, we all just declare, just declare over your sister
this is a season of restitution and restoration for her and her children,
that everything the enemy has stolen is going to be returned with interest
and that she's going to see massive breakthrough in the season of her life.
And it's going to
in one way shape or form, it's all going to work out to her good
and to the good of her children and her family. So Lori, we thank you for that.
Guys, I have a spiritual father figure and I've purposed to try to help him
find a wife and he is dating someone pretty seriously now.
But his first wife, not unlike Lori's story, in fact, his first wife's name was Lori.
So it's very interesting.
But they met when they were kids and they were together all their lives,
best friends. And just like Lori's husband, she became an addict
and he was a truck driver, over the road truck driver.
So he'd be gone during the week and home on the weekends.
And they had two beautiful daughters and a son and
her addiction got worse and worse. And they had become Christians
and he was trying to lean into his faith and that alienated her even more
because she wasn't willing to give up drugs. She didn't want God to heal her,
deliver her because those drugs were her God at that moment in her life.
And that was tangible to her. So she'd become really angry with him.
And just like Lori's story, she ended up running off with one of his friends.
In fact, it's very interesting how similar these stories are.
And she ran off with one of his friends,
a friend that wasn't going to try to get her to stop drinking,
wasn't going to get her to stop, wasn't going to try to get her,
but was going to party with her and and be OK with it.
And they were separated. And even though she was living with another man,
he wouldn't divorce her because he loved her and he wanted
he wanted the marriage to be restored. And he was praying for that.
God, deliver her. God, heal her. You know, we've been together since we were 17 years old.
Restore her, you know, all these things. And every time he saw her, she was just worse.
And so he went to a church service and at the church service,
a stranger came up to him and said to him, God said, it's time for you to let her go.
And of course, he knew. Who God was talking about, the stranger didn't know,
he was just giving him a word of knowledge, but he didn't know who he was talking about.
But Mark knew. And so Mark released her and surrendered her to the one that loves her more
than he loves her. And that's her heavenly father. And you guys know, a week later.
She got drunk and passed out. In the wintertime, outside of her house and froze to death and died.
And had he not released her before that happened, I don't think that he would have been able to
recover from that. Because she was always his responsibility, he was always trying to save her.
He was always trying to fix her. He was always trying to, you know, make everything OK for his
children and his family. But he had released her. She was in a lot of pain. She was suffering.
And there was no end to her suffering besides just going home to be with Jesus.
And that's what happened. OK, it's taken him years to heal his broken heart.
And now he is living in the same type of restoration and restitution.
that I believe is happening in Lori's life and is going to continue to happen, where things are
beginning to, you know, the blessings of God are beginning to pursue and overtake him and his
children. Because they were all devastated by that, obviously, as anyone would be. And it's
taken years. And even his oldest daughter started to become an addict herself. But there's been so
much breakthrough and so many things are happening. So I guess the story is to say this, that,
you know, we don't always see right away Genesis 5020 or Romans 828 working in our lives. But
God's blessings will catch up to you. They will pursue you and they will overtake you.
And you will see his goodness in the land of the living. You will. Okay.
And I believe that Lori, not this Lori, but that Lori, because that's actually what his
wife's name was. She is free from her suffering and her pain. And she is able to, you know,
not have to, because some people can't handle this life. You guys know that, right?
And there have been people that some of you do, I feel like Holy Spirit's on this too. You've been
upset at people because they made bad decisions and those bad decisions
turned into them losing their lives. And, you know, you felt so abandoned and so betrayed by
them and you miss them and you're so sad, whether it was a parent or a sibling or someone else in
your life. And I just wanted to let you know that those people were too fragile for this world.
They couldn't handle it here. This world is wicked, y'all. This is a hard life.
It is. Even with Jesus, there's a lot of heart. Would everyone agree to that?
And so those people, they need to go home and be with Jesus.
They need to be delivered from this earthly life and they need to go and move on.
And I want to let you know, don't let religion put any of those people in hell
just because you think that they died in their sin. That's not for you to judge.
God doesn't just see the what and the how. He sees the what and the how.
He sees the why. He says he doesn't judge the works or the actions of people. He judges the heart.
So he knows things about people that you will never know about them.
So it's important that we understand that. And so it's time for you to forgive them
for not doing what you would have done. Just because you're strong, just because you have
a spirit of perseverance, just because you've been able to be an overcomer,
don't judge them for not being able to be that.
Okay? It's time to let go of judgment. It's time to forgive them and move forward.
I even hear in the spirit someone saying, well, if they would have loved me, if they would have
loved our children, you know, they wouldn't have made those decisions. And that doesn't
have to be someone who's died. It could be someone who's still living in their sin on earth.
But remember, they're not as strong as you.
They're not. Just be thankful that God gave you the spirit of an overcomer.
Be thankful for that. Instead of judging people that don't,
haven't been able to overcome, thank God that you have.
That's a shift. Make that shift. Okay? So Father God, we thank you for this time
together tonight. We thank you for all the amazing revelation and wisdom and truth,
this time of sharing and being vulnerable, confessing. Your word says, if we confess
our faults, our weaknesses, our frailties, even our sin to one another, we will be healed.
And so Father, I pray that healing would find all of us in our weakest and most vulnerable
places tonight. Thank you, Lord. We pray that you would teach us and show us and heal us and grow us
continue to reveal and heal, help us to be self-aware, help us to not put up with
counterfeits in our lives, Lord, but to desire true, authentic identity through the finished
work of the cross in Jesus name. Amen. All right. I love you ladies. This is also recorded. Go watch
the first recording from today too. If you want to hear some other good stuff, it's been two great
sessions today. And, um, let's see, I think we're going to invite everyone to pass sessions this
week. Cause it's about prophetic processing of your promises. And so, um, look for that invitation
cause it is tomorrow night. Um, look for that in, is it tomorrow night? Yes. Look for that invitation,
um, in your groups, your Facebook group, or the app with the link.
you guys would wanna join that session.
It's usually a path three session, so it's for phase three,
but I think we're gonna let everyone come that wants to.
All right, so see you soon.
Bye, everybody.