All right, awesome. Yes, and more people are jumping in. Welcome, Phase 2 ladies. This
is September 24th, Tuesday, your one o'clock live check-in here. I'm Carla Johnson. I'm
a coach here in your Phase 2 community. And just to give a little background, I've been
with Jackie since late 2020. So I was kind of one of the OGs with Jackie. And so I spent,
you know, a long struggling season in my, you know, my singleness, but I rest assured
I do come out with a success story. So I am so excited to be here with you all. It's always
an honor and a privilege to be able to pour back into this community what I got out of
it. And so I hope that you ladies can, that I can instill in you ladies, just what I had
to go through and be here as an encourager, as someone to lean on and get support from
who's walked the same walk that you did. And now I'm even walking into that journey of
marriage and all the things that come with that as well. So I can, I'm going before you
ladies so that I can pour into you now. So it always gives me such honor and pleasure
and gratitude to be able to do that with you. So this is the one o'clock call. I know there's
a lot of you ladies that it's a little challenging to get to this call because of work. And then
if you are here, it's sometimes hard to want to come on camera. So if you are here with
us and can get on camera, I encourage you to do so. I was just telling, is it Shawnee?
I was just telling Shawnee that this is a safe, intimate space. Okay. We can get vulnerable
here. Like oftentimes I get vulnerable with you ladies too. Just know that we hold the
sacred space of how it's important for us that this is safe for y'all and to get vulnerable
and it's okay for you to show up here. Okay. So we hold that very sincere and sacred to
our hearts. So just know that we're always protecting that space for you. Okay. So there's
nothing to fear. All right. So again, if you can come on camera, please do. I'm going to
go over some housekeeping items. We have a very packed day today. This usually the last
week of the month, that fourth week is where we cover the boundaries video. And there's
just so much great information in that, that sometimes, you know, it's a lot to get through.
So I want to be mindful of y'all's time. So in doing that, I am going to help myself
by setting a timer so that I stay on track and we can get through. And I want to leave
enough space at the end to be able to go through, go through all your questions. Because that's
what phase two is really all about in this, in this live check-in is really to be the
extra support to you ladies, as you're stepping out of heartwork, where you took a little
sabbatical from dating, and then you're getting your feet wet again, into dating and dating
in a new way. So we want to be able to supply that support for you and be here for you.
That's why it's a much smaller group. So we do go over some housekeeping items. So I want
to try to quickly get through that something we cover every single week. So it's always
in the replays. But first, if you are new to phase two, and this may be as your first
check-in, go ahead and raise your avatar hand or your actual hand if you're on camera.
So thank you, Shawnee. I appreciate you. I think Kelly, I have seen you here. I see you
here many times. I don't see your face. I'm guessing maybe you can't come on camera, which
I actually need to go ahead and show my chat. All right. So yeah, you can't come on camera
or unmute. You can always type in the chat. Okay. So welcome, welcome, welcome.
A couple of things here. Just a reminder, the goal is to watch only one video per week. We
have five videos. They are titled Love Story Accelerator, Dating 101, Divine Feminine,
Online Dating, and then Boundaries, which is what we are going to briefly cover a bit today. I'm
just going to kind of hit the highlights, the key points there. Those are a little bit over,
like a little, roughly over an hour long. So make sure that when you are watching those videos,
one a week, you're taking notes, you're considering how you're going to apply it,
apply that content in your current situation, and then share with us your takeaways in the app. Like
make sure that you are engaging in our community. I can attest to having been through this community,
you get out of this program what you put in and you are valued.
And it is important for you to understand that it is okay to invest in yourself.
So the more that you invest in yourself, and invest in this program, the more that you're
going to be able to receive out of it.
So I want to use that as an encouragement for you, ladies.
So if you are coming out of phase one, this means you are cleared to date, okay, exciting,
right?
For some of us, not for all of us, okay.
I was one of those that I was like, I'm ready to know that I, if you're a little scared
of that seven day challenge, don't worry, I was too.
But don't sweat it, really, it's, you know, you don't have to finish the seven dates before
you can get into phase three.
In fact, like a lot of you are probably not going to necessarily get through those seven
dates in the four or five weeks that you're here in phase, in phase two, okay.
And that's perfectly okay, perfectly okay.
It's important to remember to use this time to focus on coming out of hiding and that
not everybody is going to be going at the same speed and rate and pace as you are.
So don't play that comparison game, just not, it doesn't get any of us anywhere, okay.
So, but again, we really do want you posting here in phase two.
So those posts can be about all different things.
It can be about heartwork stuff, because believe it or not, as you start stepping into dating,
or even maybe you're not ready to date, there's still some heartwork stuff that will come up.
Because heartwork is something that's going to always show up through your life, okay.
So we don't graduate from heartwork.
There's, it's like an onion.
We peel those layers.
There's always things that God wants to upgrade us and grow us in.
So know that you are going to experience some of those things.
It doesn't always have to be heavy.
It can be enlightening.
It can, it can be good, okay.
Your post can be about dating situations.
I always encourage you ladies to share, share, share what is happening in your dating life.
We can help you see those blind spots, all right.
And we also just want to celebrate with you.
And we want to, you know, celebrate and keep encouraging you to do the things that you are doing.
That's really great.
You can post things about what you're learning based on the videos,
any breakthroughs that you're having, the celebrations, questions that you're having.
When you're posting, be mindful that you're clicking on the correct tab before you hit post.
If it is a ask a coach question, please make sure that you click that tab.
Because those are ones that us coaches really want to make sure that we're paying attention to
and getting to those as quickly as possible to answer those questions.
The last thing we want to do is leave you all hang in when you have an important question.
And because of that, we also ask that you ladies refrain from responding to any
member in the community under that ask a coach tab, okay.
Any of the other tabs, like the wins tab, the relationship, milestones, the all tab,
you can respond and reply to women in those tabs, but leave the ask the coach questions
to us coaches, okay.
I'm going to try to keep rushing through here.
I'm out of time here.
Then when you are creating posts, make sure that you can help us
by not posting or linking other websites or videos of speakers or influencers or pastors
or websites or dating sites, anything of that nature.
Do that because we really want to make sure that the information that we're putting out
there for you and that you have access to through our community
is vetted and in alignment with what we teach here at Last Year Single.
So just help us out by not posting any links that directly attach to those things, okay.
We can't vet those out.
We just don't have the time to do so.
We want to make sure that when you come to our website and our app and things like that,
you are getting access to the resources that we have been able to check out for you first, okay.
If you do a video when you're posting in the app, we do ask that you keep those videos
under three minutes.
The best way to do this is to just jot down some notes of things that you want to talk
about or share with us.
Just keep it under three minutes.
Just stick to a couple topics, bullet points, and go from there.
I'm an overshare.
I talk way too much sometimes.
So I have to really focus on that.
So I understand the struggle, but I do assure you it can be done, okay.
Again, we want to encourage you all to engage and connect with one another
and doing that in the community and posting encouraging things to your sisters.
Just refrain from giving feedback and advice giving.
Let's not dig into the negativity.
We understand a lot of you are going to have some hard season and you want to just share
about it and be vulnerable with this.
That's great.
You're going to have that.
We totally get it.
We just don't want to get on the negative train.
and like validate that negativity
to the point that it's unhealthy.
Okay, we wanna be uplifting and encouraging.
We can share in the, like the sorrow that sometimes
and the discouragement that it can bring.
But again, we wanna really, really focus on that positivity
and what we can do and then like leaning on Jesus,
what he really, really can do for us, okay?
So be encouraging.
Come to as many live check-ins as you possibly can
during your four to five weeks in phase two.
I know it's a short season
that really is designated for you.
So this is where you get that extra support.
So utilize that to your benefit.
Now, some of you, I say four to five weeks
and some of you might be freaking out right now
and being like, oh my gosh, I don't know
if I'm gonna be able to get through all this content
and the dating and all that thing,
all the things in four to five weeks, which is totally okay.
We know that you ladies have lives, things come up.
So if you get through the content
at a little bit of a slower pace,
it's totally fine.
We'll start looking if you've been here
for more than two or three months,
we may just encourage you
and nudge you a little bit out the nest.
But don't feel so much pressure
to like rush through things either.
Use this program at, do it at your own pace, okay?
But really do try to stick to one a week,
one video a week and going to the live calls
and as many prayer calls as possible.
I also really encourage you ladies,
if you can't make Saturday Supernatural Saturday
and any of the prayer calls,
like even on the Sunday ones that we post those in replay,
take a listen to those.
There's some really amazing things
like I can't always get on on Saturdays and Sundays,
but during the week I do try to jump in
even when I'm just driving in the car,
like after I've dropped my kids off at school
or if I have to sit in car line,
I'm sitting there for an hour anyway,
I might as well be filled with what is being declared over
in those prayer calls.
So I definitely encourage you,
you may not be able to make those live,
but do your best to get those replays going, okay?
And last but not least,
navigating the app on the phone and in the desktop.
Be sure to check out the resource and training tabs
that Spirit Mate Match and Affiliate Info
is in the resource tab, okay?
So there's actually even a great five minute video
about how to navigate that.
If you haven't watched it already, please do.
It's called, I think it's like tech training app.
I think it's like five or eight minutes even,
but it really does help you how to navigate
through the app, okay?
So please, please, please check it out.
Just to let you ladies know,
we will not take any of your questions and email
about the Spirit Mate Match or the affiliate program, okay?
If you send us emails about those things,
we are not gonna be able to respond to you
because all the information that you need
is in the resource tab, okay?
So we understand that there was a glitch
with the affiliate link that is back up and running.
So if you want to get some cash in your pocket
and share all the great things
that happened in this community
with some of your other single friends,
then you can get some cash in your pocket.
You just set up that affiliate link, okay?
So do that this week.
Same thing with the Spirit Mate Match.
Go ahead and fill that out.
We've opened it up for you phase two ladies
so that you can get in on all that action as well.
We're only doing that for phase two, phase three
and the men's group right now, okay?
So be sure to check out the resource tab, okay?
All right, I've covered all the housekeeping stuff.
So let's go ahead and move into our teaching for the week.
Before I do, Kelly, I see since you only have the app now,
how can you go back and watch part work videos?
It's always good to go back
and realign with the content in the portal.
We could always go back.
So actually, if you go in the replay section,
like I can go in right now.
That replay, it has so, I mean, it goes all the way back
if you go in the replays.
Like if you can see, like I have all these replays, okay?
So, and then of course my thing wants to time out.
But they are there for you, okay?
So definitely check that out, all right?
And I like that you,
I like that you wanna go back and rewatch things.
I always do that,
especially even with Supernatural Saturday.
I've actually watched the last couple of weeks
of Supernatural Saturday.
I've listened to that a couple of times.
Always get new information from those.
So,
Yes, if things are blanking out in the new app, if you're using your phone, I will encourage you, I find my desktop version to actually give me less headache.
Right now, so I switch desktop only for you. Okay, is it still blanking out for you on the desktop.
Yeah, it doesn't show anything. I didn't check it this morning but I checked it yesterday and I sent something to the tech, the contact support.
Perfect. Yeah, this is still a new app for us. And so there are just it again it's in beta, there's going to be glitches like everything I mean even, even in the App Store, with all the other high tech apps I can't tell you even Facebook sometimes
has glitches for me. It's just a process so we're working on those things. And if you're on a desktop, can you, can you access the, can you download it on your smartphone.
I know my phone isn't all that smart anymore. So,
but I think you're, you're doing that like you're doing the right thing, send it to the tech and do and do the best that you can with that.
Refresh stuff that they were talking about either so. Yeah, well I will, you know, I'm going to make a note right now and I will touch base with our team, and just, I'm, I know they're, they're in behind the scenes working diligently to correct some of that so just
practice patience and grace right now I know like I have to do it too. I had to do it this morning when I was getting in, trying to look at roll call and all that kind of stuff. Just patience and grace right now is, is, I just
I really liked watching the replay videos because I went back quite far and it actually was really good. Yes, it is it is always good stuff I mean there's always such great things that you can you, it's like sometimes you're like I don't remember hearing that and now you're
hearing with fresh ears. So it's, it's definitely good. Okay, Kelly, you're thinking of the lessons not supernatural activations and lessons so all your all your training materials should be available to you for phase two.
And then you should have some of phase one for a little bit.
And then eventually phase one will go away and then ideally once you shift into phase three you'll have access to phase two for a little bit, and phase three and then eventually that phase two content will disappear and you'll have the phase three so I, again, like, just take
a few minutes. That's what I do is a lot of times I just jot down notes and and can be refreshed of what I've heard so if you've watched it a couple times, just jot down notes and things like that and refer back to some of your journaling.
Okay.
So let's go ahead and get into our teaching for the week because like I said this is a lot.
There's a lot of really good stuff. We are covering the boundaries video which is the last video of your content so if you haven't watched it don't don't freak out it's totally fine.
And then when you watch it. If you're taking notes now, you can refer back to those notes during this call while you're watching.
Also keep in mind that when you do watch that boundaries video, there is a PowerPoint that goes with it I highly encourage you to watch the video while you have that PowerPoint up and that PowerPoint is there for you can download it you can have it you can print it out so that you can refer back to so Kelly that might even be helpful to some of that content that you get in phase two.
If there's printouts print those things out save them to your desktop so that you have access to them. Okay, so boundaries. All right, so what are boundaries and what do they offer so the best analogy for boundaries in my opinion is that they're, they're not walls but their fences with gate.
Okay, and they really do define and protect us. That's what they're there for if there is a protection and it's there to define what's important to us what really matters. Okay.
So in the video, Renee does an amazing job of just really breaking down some really great things about it and she talked about Hartman Hartman trauma triangle.
And in fact, like we all can be these things at some point in our lives. So what I mean by that is there's three types of like boundary busters or like unhealthy ways that we can show up, and it can just cause drama.
And so a lot of times like when I'm talking about this stuff and as you're watching that boundaries videos. Don't just look at it in a lens of how other people have been maybe like, oh yeah I know this person, they're the they're the controller they're the persecutor or oh yeah this person's always the victim.
Think about it in your lens as well.
Look at it from both sides of the coin
because we all can be these things
at some point in our life.
So the first one I'm gonna talk about
is that persecutor controller.
So this can show up in an aggressive way,
which is if there's an aggressive controller,
they're not listening, they're running all over people
and they don't accept people for who they are.
So that one sometimes can be pretty heavy.
Like it's pretty intense and it never feels good, right?
It's aggressive.
It's just, if you're someone that is a quieter person,
that aggressor can even really set you off, okay?
But then we sometimes can show up like that as well,
where we're not listening to people,
we're running over them,
we're not accepting people as they are.
Sometimes that can show up in dating.
We go on dates with these guys, we're in level two
and they don't meet our expectations
and so we're ready to be kind of critical of them, right?
So just be mindful of that.
Another way a controller can show up
is a manipulative controller.
Now, this is when people are seducing,
they're very persuasive,
they'll persuade people away from their boundary, okay?
So sometimes we might show up in that way, all right?
If you watch that Divine Feminine video,
Jackie talks about the Divine Feminine,
but she also shares some dark, toxic feminine traits as well
and seduction and manipulation is one of the ways
that we can show up in a toxic, dark feminine
because of the curse, right?
The things that have happened to us, right?
So keep that in mind.
The next one is that victim.
That victim, they will blame and complain, all right?
They don't take ownership, they want others to do for them.
So you might have times with that
where it's everything else,
it's all the guys that I'm dating,
this is how they're showing up.
I'm never finding dates, you're complaining
or you find yourself in relationships
where all people wanna do is just complain
and take no ownership and don't put action for themselves,
okay?
So just be mindful of those types of things
and as you're watching that boundaries video,
Renee does amazing job of really digging deep
on all of those things.
So I'm just giving you just brief highlights, okay?
Then the last one is that rescuer helper.
So this is where that codependency can come up, okay?
So if you are a rescuer helper
and you're acting in a codependent way,
you feel that you are responsible for others, all right?
Instead of being responsible to others,
which would be more of the emphatic,
I can never say this word, I apologize, emphatic.
I still don't think I'm saying that right,
but you get it, you have empathy for others, okay?
You're not responsible for other people, okay?
You can't do for them, you can't look at like,
okay, if they don't do what I want them to do,
then it wrecks havoc in you.
That's when you are acting in codependency
because you are responsible for them.
And if they're not doing what they're supposed to be doing,
then you can't do for yourself.
And then you go into that victim, right?
And then you might turn into the aggressor.
You might be manipulative
or just really harsh with people, okay?
So that's where that triangle can really get you
and it can just, it's like a strangulation, really.
So you wanna be responsible to others,
you wanna show empathy and understanding,
you wanna act in your best nature
so that you're showing up to be someone that's healthy,
right, and be responsible to that.
But if people are not choosing that,
you don't have to be responsible for that, okay?
So now we're gonna talk a little bit
about like how to do healthy confrontation.
So believe it or not, like we all,
like confrontation can be good, all right?
It can be good.
You're gonna have confrontation in your life
and it can be healthy.
So some key points to remember
when you're having healthy confrontation
is to don't raise your voice,
don't attack, don't blame.
Speak in an inviting manner.
Know your goals and determine
if they are healthy and helpful.
Lean into some of those negative emotions, okay?
It's okay to have negative emotions,
so lean into that
and be willing to have those tough conversations.
But if you're doing that
and you're doing those first three things
where you're not attacking, blaming, raising your voice,
you're inviting someone with your nature
and you wanna be healthy and helpful,
if you're using those.
your key focus, then you can really lean into those negative emotions and have those tough
conversations.
All right, ladies, I will assure you this is important stuff to learn now while you're
single and you're dating because in marriage, you're going to have conflict.
You are, you're living like you are one with somebody.
So this can be a growing opportunity.
So I will encourage you ladies, do as much growing as you can now in these areas so that
when you do have those healthy confrontation in your marriage, you're doing it well and
successfully.
Practice it now.
Practice those healthy boundaries and those healthy confrontations now.
Learn how to listen and have courage to be curious about things.
You know, one thing that I struggle with is I assume and I just blow things completely
out of proportion.
I overreact in my emotions.
I use my, I think my emotions are more facts than they are just feelings.
And so a lot of times I forget to ask for clarification and like come with curiosity.
And then don't go in to a confrontation or a conflict looking for them to determine your
self-worth.
Okay?
You may have conflict or confrontation with somebody and it may not go in your favor.
It may not go in a healthy way.
But if it does, if it does that, then you'll still be grounded with your self-worth because
you can't control people.
Okay?
Next thing we're going to cover is getting your pies in order.
So that's an acronym and it's stands for physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual.
So in order to have those healthy boundaries and then practice even healthy confrontation,
it's important to make sure that those four areas are in healthy order within yourself.
Okay?
Those are things that you can control.
You can control those things in yourself.
So the first one is your physical, that's, are you drinking water?
Are you eating whole foods?
Are you moving?
Are you focused on your health?
Cause if your physical health is not in order, it can still, it will create havoc in your
life.
Okay?
It doesn't have to be perfection.
It just, you're working towards that.
Those are things that you're focused on.
The next one is that intellectual.
Do you have a teachable spirit?
Are you willing to learn and grow?
Maybe it is learning new things.
How are you stimulating your brain and showing up?
Okay?
That can help.
Your emotional, all right?
This is how are you handling your stress, your time, your schedule, the capacity of
what's going on in your life and your emotion.
Are those things staying in order?
I know when I'm not doing that, oh my goodness, my boundaries are all over the place.
And I'm usually acting out in those three, the controller, the victim, and then the like
codependent helper.
So if I'm not keeping those things in check along with my spiritual, which is like your
alone time with God, like your worship, are you in the word?
Is there discipleship happening in your life?
Is there community serving?
How are you aligning yourself with God so that you stay centered in him?
Okay?
And then the last thing I want to cover is boundaries at level two and level three relationships.
Okay?
So some of the boundaries that I used when I was dating is, and the one thing that we
encourage you ladies to do is, um, not having the physical contact.
Okay.
I made a choice that I was not kissing anyone in level two.
That was important to me because I needed to create a boundary.
And I did that because I knew from my past and all the patterns that I had is that I
jumped into the physical so quickly that I never saw the red flags.
And I'd see the red flags and I'd say, Oh, maybe they're yellow.
Maybe they're like light green.
And so I knew that once that physical connection happened and I got excited, I knew I was going
And, you know, maybe, and another thing is I just made a choice to really practice not
oversharing, not dumping all my drama and trauma from past relationships and, you know,
all of the intense, deep conversation, because that's when I really, like if I did the physical
and then I got like intellectually, emotionally attached, like I was tore up from the floor
up when the guy would ghost me, or things didn't work out.
And it just left me in this state of discouraged and hopelessness.
And I do oftentimes see that here in this community.
Okay, it's not just the ladies that are here in phase two with us now.
It's in the past, and it will continue to probably happen in the future for all the
other ladies that come in from phase two is it's so easy when we do not have healthy boundaries
that we can fall into that discouragement and hopelessness.
Okay.
And then another thing that I also really made an important boundary for me was, and
we really strongly encourage all of you ladies to do this, is when you're going out and you're
dating, especially when these people are still strangers, like, yes, you may be messaging
a little bit back and forth.
And you know, if you were like me, I didn't always not overshare.
Okay.
Well, I didn't do it perfectly.
Okay.
And I just would get comfortable with giving, I gave a guy my address one time to come pick
me up.
I had never gone on a date with this guy.
Ladies do not, okay, repeat, do not invite a man to your house that you don't know.
Okay.
And don't go to his house.
Okay.
It's just a way of keeping yourself protected and creating a healthy boundary.
Okay.
Super, super, super important.
Okay.
Keeping those healthy boundaries and same thing with, you know, we talk about no sex,
no sex, don't even talk about sex in level two.
Shouldn't be talking about sex a little too.
Because as soon as you open the sex chapter and the like that file, like, guess what?
That's all y'all going to be talking about that at times.
Like I can assure you ladies, and I'm going to talk about this in a little bit, even some
more in a more depth, but I just want to talk about it now because it does correlate with
our boundaries is healthy men, healthy men that will respect and protect those boundaries.
Those are the kinds of men that you want to attract.
Those are the men that are destined to be your spirit mate.
Okay.
I say this story almost every week.
All right.
So if you've been on my calls before, you know what I want to say on the first date
with my husband, he asked to kiss me and I told him, no, didn't mean I didn't want to.
Like I was like, there's something going on here.
I really like him.
All right.
At first I didn't think he was super attractive until I met him in person.
I was like, Ooh, this is interesting.
You know, but I still was like, you know what?
I'm not in a committed level three relationship.
I am not going to have, I'm not going to cross that physical boundary.
And so I didn't.
I didn't kiss him.
And I still joke with him.
Like I told him, no, I mean, I literally was like, absolutely not.
And he respected that ladies.
And I'm telling you that like my attraction for him in that moment even grew even more.
And it wasn't in this, like, it was more in an emotional, like I felt safe and secure
with him.
Like, that's one of the things that I was like, Oh, I really like, I like that and got
to know him more.
And we grew in that.
And eventually when we had the exclusive level three conversation, he asked me to be his
girlfriend.
Then I felt confident and comfortable to go ahead and proceed.
But you know what he also did is he, he didn't assume just because we were in a committed
level three exclusive relationship that I was ready for it.
He allowed me to pace that he respected my boundary.
Okay.
And then when you step into those level three relationships, that's when the topic of sex
can come into play.
That's where you, you know, as you're stepping into that, as, as men lead that, that conversation,
that that topic comes out on the table.
Okay.
We're stepping the exclusive relationship.
What does this look like?
You know, you put out on the table, look, I am waiting for marriage.
It's important to me.
And some like ladies, I'm just going to be honest with you for some relationships that
you get into with guys that you're, you know, getting to know in level two, they're going
to say, Hmm, yeah, no, I'm open to having sex before marriage.
Ladies, if they're telling you that, like they're being honest and it's important to
be like,
Do not let that boundary down.
If they're saying it, don't think,
oh, well, I'll resist and it's okay.
No, both people have to be on the same page with that.
It's so important.
And I know it might hurt in the moment,
but I assure you that following in that obedience
and stepping that and having the courage just to say,
you know what, not right now,
it will bless your future marriage.
It really, really will, okay?
I know it can be hard.
And I know we wanna,
I know a lot of us wanna find out in level two,
like that first and second date.
So what's your position on, you know, sex before marriage?
Like, don't go so quick into that conversation.
Allow yourself and allow that man to get to know you
and really see what the,
like, what does that man hold important?
Is he protective?
Is he providing?
Is he divine masculine?
And what's sacred to him?
Because I tell you a man that is,
cherishes the divine feminine,
he is going to want to protect that.
And so you'll be surprised that like,
if you just pace yourself,
you may be surprised with the outcome, okay?
Hope that gives encouragement, okay?
Just something really important to talk about.
We are gonna dive in that in a little bit here,
but before we do,
I do wanna touch on some other topics
and I wanna talk on that discouragement, okay?
So just remember ladies,
God is doing a work in you
and he wants you to collect every piece that is important.
So if you were not able to get on Saturday's call,
we usually do Supernatural Saturday,
but this week Jackie was traveling.
So Bethany jumped on and she shared a word
that God was speaking to her.
And it was to, you know,
God wants us to collect things with joy.
So ladies, the struggle can and will produce abundant fruit
when he is your source.
There is struggle in your single season.
I had struggle in my season season.
Many of you ladies have shared your struggles
in the single season.
I see a lot of discouragement coming up
in the roll call and our posts.
It does happen, but I want to ensure you,
God puts you here on purpose in this community
because he knows what he has for you, okay?
So he's doing a good work in you
and he wants you to collect things along the way
in this single season
as you prepare for your spirit mate, okay?
But just trust that in the struggle,
there can and there will be an abundant fruit, okay?
Especially when he is your source.
So last week, I talked a lot about rocky soil
because my husband and I went to Napa
for our one year anniversary.
And we were seeing all the different soil.
And one of the gentlemen that was giving us a tour
of one of the wineries talked about that rocky soil
can put stress on that grapevine,
but it's that stress that causes there to be
a deeper search for nutrients
that impacts the abundance and the intensity of the fruit.
And I mean, when I heard that,
like ladies, Holy Spirit goosebumps were all over my body.
And I really truly believe that
it continues to keep coming up
because I don't think I know that
that's the word that God wants to give you all as well.
All right, this is at times a struggle.
I get it, I've been there,
but just know as you continue to grow deeper
in your relationship with the Lord
and you seek his nutrients that he has for you,
that fruit that will come will be abundant,
it will be juicy, it will be sweet,
it will be beautiful, all right?
It makes the best wine.
And even then, it's the timing, right?
Like those of you that know a little bit about wine,
it has to age.
As it ages, it grows in a deeper flavor.
So there is sometimes that process
that you have to take some time
before it really captures what flavor
that it wants to bring out.
You don't want it too soon.
You don't wanna drink the wine too soon, it's yucky, okay?
So don't rush it.
I feel Holy Spirit on this.
I don't want you ladies to rush in this season.
So many of you ladies I always see come into phase two,
like you're ready to hit the ground running.
Not everybody.
Some people wanna like take their time,
but there are some of you
that wanna hit the ground running.
And the first guy that you date,
you are just like, this is my husband.
And then the disappointment sets in
because it didn't work out that way.
You wanted it to happen too fast.
Ladies, you don't wanna drink wine
that's not been aged for a little while.
It's nasty, all right?
So it's okay to allow the process to take time. Soak in what the Lord wants you to collect in
this season and do it with joy, okay? Because some of you all are still relying on your own strength
and it's time to release that pen and it's time to start practice being God-defended
and not self-defended, okay? So what that looks like, again, it's in level two relationships,
it's going too deep too quick. It's hitting the ground running. It's you had one great conversation
on the phone or in text message and like you're already planning your wedding in your head.
I did that. I say it because I did it, y'all. So, you know, don't go in those deep,
too deep, too quick conversations or, you know, you jump into, you know, the first date. The first
date was so magical and there was so much romance, right? No, slow down, ladies. It's okay to slow
down. It doesn't mean that there cannot be supernatural exhilaration, but I will assure
you, ladies, it is divine and it will be supernatural. It's not going to be explainable
and it doesn't happen very often, okay? It's usually a process. Some of you are even like
searching for reasons for it not to work. Some of you all are like making it like rainbows and
butterflies like this is the perfect relationship and then when a guy like cuts out, y'all are left
disappointed and hopeless, right? Some of you are so scared that you're looking for all the reasons
for the nice guy to not be it. Ladies, you don't have to decide right away. You just don't, okay?
Some of you are even digging in the Facebook files.
Raise your hand if you've been guilty of going on and going in like, you know, being detective.
I'm gonna go through and I'm gonna search through. Ladies, you will find stuff because if you're
looking for it, you're gonna find it, all right? So rest assured you're God defended, okay? He will
let you know what you need to know when you need to know it. You don't have to go digging through
those Facebook files. You don't even need to dig through the X files. Nobody wants to go through
the X files. There's just no. You're level two. You don't need to go there, okay? That stuff
doesn't come out until you've gotten to really know them and they've gotten to really know you.
Then you can have in that level three entering to level four engagement. Then you have that time
to have those kind of talks and then like I said, having those sex talks super early,
you know, again, I just want to refer you ladies back to dating 101 video, you know, try not to
have the sex talks until the man initiates a level three exclusive combo, okay? Because level two is
just about discovering dating. Remind yourself and think to yourself, if this ends tomorrow,
I don't want to be tore up from the floor up, okay? If you find yourself in this pattern that
you go on these dates early on in level two and then all of a sudden if it doesn't work out,
some of you are coming in like I'm hopeless. I'm discouraged. It didn't work out the way that I
wanted to. Ladies, it's holding things loosely, okay? So practice those things. Really lean on
the Lord because he does want to give you good, good gifts and allow you to collect good,
joyful things, okay? So let's actually have that sex talk, okay? I wonder if this maybe
is why not a lot of people are on today. Don't worry. It's a replay. We're going to talk about
it. All right. So it's interesting enough. I was thinking about this and I was looking up
some of Jackie's insight on sex and dating and relationships and she's like, she will tell you
nothing good can come out of sex and relationships and believe it or not, this time last year,
she made a post on Instagram about this. It was actually September 26th of 2023
and she shares the three reasons sex will ruin a dating relationship. So the first reason,
disconnection. Sex in a dating relationship will always breed disconnection, distrust,
and resentment. Statistics back it up and life experience will prove it. Sex outside of covenant
and commitment is just messy, okay? Lack of clarity is your second reason. Once you have sex,
getting to know someone in a level-headed way is out of the window. This oxytocin hit causes people
to overlook huge red flags and many people get stuck in unhealthy, abusive long-term relationships
or what we like to call here at Last Year Single is situationships, okay? Because there's blind
spots that having sex creates. Ladies, especially for us,
women. It is like biological, our brain literally releases an endorphin and a connection, like it
links us to this person. Okay. And then we're blind. I like I attest, I admit I struggled with
this, right? I have a, my youngest was my birth baby was conceived out of wedlock. I never married
his father and there was a lot of red flags. I didn't see him though. And once I got pregnant
and got into the rut of it, it was very, very bad. And, um, he ended up leaving me seven months
pregnant. It was a blessing. Honestly, I didn't see it at the time. It like wrecked me. It caused
a lot of heart wounds, but I had to own my side of the street that I allowed myself to cross a line
that just didn't need to be crossed. Okay. And, and God still blessed me through that. Like I have
a beautiful baby out of it, beautiful son. And you know, so there's no shame ladies. Okay. I say this
because you like, we all have made mistakes. I made mistakes in this area. We're all grown women.
I'm sure there's a lot of us that probably relate to, you know, making some of those same mistakes,
just know like your story isn't over. You know, if you've made mistakes in this area of your life,
it's not too late to go into a different direction. So there is still hope for a healthy,
thriving relationship and a marriage in your future. And I can attest to that personally.
Okay. And then the third reason is prior, you prioritize the wrong thing.
So when sexual intimacy is the foundation of the relationship, because you had sex too early,
other vital areas of connections suffer and will never develop to its full extent.
Okay. So that emotional intimacy pays the way for sexual intimacy, not the other way around.
Okay. Once you go in that direction, it's really hard to get that emotional intimacy
and that spiritual intimacy with one another. Like those things need to happen first
before. And then that commitment, that covenant commitment relationship in marriage,
then opens the door for healthy sexual intimacy. Okay. Because if you don't, it's just,
it's the priorities are all shifted. Okay. And ladies, I know that like we, we give these like
feedback and I know there's sometimes it's so much discouragement because I see time and time again
in the app, in the roll call post after post, like months after men, so many are like, Oh,
I met this really great Christian guy, but he's not willing to wait for marriage.
I assure you ladies, there are men out there that are willing to wait. There are. Okay. I,
we understand the struggles, but I assure you, that's why you have this community. You have the
support of us. We are here to encourage you. We're here to lift you up. We're here. We're here to
help you through those things. Okay. And remind you of what God promises, not what Satan wants
to lie to you about. Okay. So we have to practice those healthy boundaries in dating and practice
the healthy pacing when we are dating, because I assure you when you do that, you are going to
realize that there are men out there that are willing to wait. Okay. So I'm going to quickly
look over here in the chat, make sure that I have not missed anything. So Kelly, I'm thinking
of lessons, not supernatural and activations of lessons aren't in the repo. Okay. So you're
talking about that. So, yes, go ahead and post in the community. So, cause I don't want to lose
that, but I'm going to have conversation with the team and see what we can do, or if there's a way
of accessing that in the future. Okay. So I hear, I hear your desire and your, and your want for that.
So, um, we will have a conversation. Okay. Um, and then, uh, Natalie, you said your son's father left
me as soon as I got pregnant. So I feel your girl. I assure you there is a man out there
that is going to be willing to love your child as a father should. Okay.
I've been there. All right. And you know, my, my son's dad is slightly in his life, not really
fully, but, um, God bless me with a amazing husband that loves my son as his own.
So just know God has a way of restoring and you know what I still pray I still
pray for my son's relationship with his biological father and I don't do it out
of my own stuff I do it for him and sometimes that's challenging but just
continue to keep praying for your child and know that God has a good good man to
come into your life to do that okay all right there's not many of us here if you
are not able to unmute will you just type in the chat because I do still want
to do some breakouts we don't have to do it for very long is everybody able to do
that because if so I'll put like two of you in one group and three of you in
another I don't see anybody saying that they can't unmute
all right Teresa says yes she's good I know Shawnee is gonna be able to unmute
Kelly Natalie and Blessee are you all able to unmute maybe I'm not seeing it
because my feed is not okay things okay okay you okay so Blessee you will not
Natalie you can Kelly s are you still with us yes you can okay I'm gonna put
two of you in a group Blessee I'm gonna put you in a group but you do not have
to unmute I'm just gonna I'm gonna put you in the group of three so let me get
the questions first ladies I assure you they are light-hearted okay I'm gonna
copy them and I'm gonna paste them in our chat so you have them I hope that
works let's see if this works I'm gonna hit send okay okay so they're not really
like broken out one by one but you can all read them so the first one so
Bethany shared on Saturday's prayer call that God is saying we are collecting
things with joy and each piece is important so in your groups here in a
moment I'm gonna break you off I want you to answer the question with your
partner what does God want you want you to collect with joy okay so spend like
30 seconds or so and share with your person that then the next person shares
and then when both of you have answered that then go ahead and go into sharing
about a goal or dream that you are working towards or could be working
towards so maybe you are right now or you could be but I want it needs to be
in this season and it doesn't it's not related to dating and marriage because
we all like y'all are here okay and y'all have a goal of dating and getting
married but what's something else that's a goal or dream of yours that you can be
stepping into or you are stepping into right now that you are working towards
and then share that and then the next question would be what action steps can
or are you doing to move towards that goal so remember not in reference to
dating or marriage but challenge yourself not to share excuses as to why
you can okay I say that because I know there's always there's always people in
the group I'm victim to this too I oftentimes can give you all the excuses
of why it's not working out and why it can't all right I think sometimes I
probably drive my husband crazy and I annoy the living you-know-what out of
them because I'm always giving all the reasons why it can't happen why it can't
work this is like a struggle why like no I could do this but I can't because of
this where he's the more optimistic like glasses more full he has all the
problem like he has all the world's problems solved a lot of times when I
come to him and he's like well didn't just do this and I'm like well I can't
do that this is why so refrain from giving excuses of why you can't do
something but what can you do okay everybody knows the assignment yes or
am I do the breakout room all right and I'm gonna give you ladies I think we
could probably get this done in about six minutes because there's only two of
you in a group and you know that way each of you have like less than a minute
for each question right yeah six minutes yep okay so I think we could probably do
it in five or six minutes and then I'll bring everybody back and then we can
tackle some of your coaching questions okay go ahead yes perfect I got lessee
is in a room of three so you can still listen but I know that you're not gonna
be able to unmute okay so I'm gonna open the rooms so go ahead and join
ladies
all right so now I'm just gonna open the floor we are a small group
Group today, which is kind of nice. Sometimes I like it this way
so because of that y'all have the opportunity to ask me whatever it is that you want to ask or celebrate or
Yeah, so I'm gonna leave it to you all so who has a question or just wants to share something great
That's happening right now. I
Know I know there might you know, I'm sure everybody has something that they could share
You don't everybody jump at once
It can be about what we talked about today it can be about
Thank You Natalie totally understand glad you could be with us appreciate it
It can be about what we talked about today. It could be you know, what you are having come up now that you're in phase two
Anything if you just need to share with where you're at right now, maybe you just need some encouragement
You know that the floor is your this floor is yours this is your space. All right
Anybody brave enough to go first
Teresa thank you
How are you? What's what's going on? What do you want to share with us? Okay. Well, I was talking about the
Things with joy and what I'm supposed to collect with joy and that I'm having trouble
and
I can relate. Yeah
I'm not excited. I really am not so
Yeah, yeah
Well, that's where I think you know, it doesn't always have like there's other
There's other times like I don't want it. How do I want to put this?
I
First of all, I think I can probably relate to you. I
Don't know where and you can share with me
How is it? Is it the fact that maybe you haven't dated in a while because that was me
I didn't date for a really long time. So going into dating was very very scary for me. I was a single mom and
I've been hurt a lot and I had a lot of I felt I
Was at fault for the reason I was in the situation that I was and
So it was very scary
I there was you know discouragement just
frustration
Just all sorts of things
but what I will share is
That in that season just allowing myself just to take the next best step
and care for myself
Not even just in dating
But just taking better care of myself and connecting in this community and building relationships
not with men, but even with the women in this community and
you know spending time investing in myself and the teachings and the prayer calls and just
Absorbing the words that would be released through Jackie or other women in the community
Grew me in such ways
That did feel fill my life with so much joy
So it may not even be in the dating that you'll find joy at first
But I do believe that if you press in
Show up
invest in yourself
Allow yourself to even maybe even just open up in this community and get to know other women
That's here with you walking the same walk that you're doing
There's so much joy that could be released over you
please I
Like the the relationships the friendships with the women in this community that I built
Were some of the best fruit that I got from this program
the closest that I had with the Lord
because that grew and
Then just allowing myself even to open up with some of the women in this community and finding ways to connect with them
Like you have to remember like I joined this in like the 20 like in 2020
And so we did everything it was like online like I was living in Florida at the time
So we were so pretty open
But everybody was still like not like do we go out do we not do we engage with people do we not and?
It was a great time to be able to like it really did allow the opportunity to build
relationship in this tech online community
But I don't believe that just because now we're kind of on the outs like we're we're kind of in the clear from that whole
2020 like shut down
and you know not having community and connection with people doesn't mean that we still can't
connect in this online community. And once things started opening up I had built so many
relationships and friendships with the women that I would like go travel with my youngest
and I would just be like hey I'm traveling to Atlanta and Georgia and I'm going to the mountains
does anybody want to like meet up and I mean I had people that were like hey why don't you come
stay with me and like I built relationship with those with those women. We would go to baseball
games, women would come down to Florida, we'd go to the beach, we'd hang out, we'd plan trips
together. All right I still had friends in my community like locally but I was able to utilize
this community to grow and collect the joy of just relationship not just with men and dating
but relationship just in this community because you ladies you are here because God wants you here.
It's a divine appointment. All right I like I always love hearing stories of how people found
Jackie and how they came into her program because a lot of times it's very supernatural.
Ladies I was in such a depression when I came into this community because I was still not working.
I'd take my son to preschool in my pajamas, I'd come home, I'd sit on the couch and I would aimlessly
scroll through Facebook and I would just be so depressed. I wouldn't shower for days, I'd go
pick him up still in my pajamas like it was bad y'all it was bad and I was just like I didn't feel
like I had community and even though I had some friends in the area it was very still very
challenging because I wasn't working and so I thought well like I'm not doing anything productive
and I came across this community through a Facebook app and it was the only time that
Jackie ever did a Facebook like paid for a Facebook ad and me and several hundred other
women came through this community and many of them I'm still really close to. So even just recently
I had to go pick my son up from his biological father he lives in Michigan so I had to fly to
Green Bay and one of my close friends in this community she lives in Green Bay so when I went
up there and I stopped at the airport I didn't realize y'all Green Bay has like the tiniest
airport that I've ever been in my entire life. Okay I was not anticipating this and she's like
well I'll come pick you up I live 15 minutes from the airport and I'm thinking well I'm sure I can
hang out in the airport or whatever no y'all like I'm so thankful she came and picked me up and like
took me to her house we had lunch and like hung out like she's still one of my close friends
in this community that I got to just visit for a couple hours like I like I don't know why all
of a sudden I felt like I needed to share that I hope Teresa that it's blessed you in some way
and hopes that you can feel like loved and seen and cared for in this community
and finding joy maybe not even just in this dating like in the dating but in the season
that you're in right now of just being in this community so I hope that's helped bless you in
some way um I hear Jackie on that sounds fun yes yes um what's um Annie yes did that summer of
singleness um and heard in December yes yes absolutely Annie Downs I actually one of my
friends in this community she lives in Missouri all right actually two friends from this community
in Missouri so like but ladies like even that I like there's women in Missouri there's women
in Green Bay there was women in Atlanta there's um Erin Joy she's in North or South Carolina I
think North Carolina she came to my wedding um many women from this community they were in my
wedding Austin I live now in Dallas Fort Worth there's women here that I knew in the community
California um Arizona there's another woman like so so many okay and it's just the women
not even just not even guys I mean I know we all we came here for men right but you'll be
surprised like there is such a joy in this sisterhood that is here and we're here for you
we're here to champion for you we're here to celebrate you we're here to encourage you and
lift you up in those seasons where maybe it's a little scary and um unsettling at times right
there can be some unsettling and discouragement and hopelessness but you ladies you are here in
the right right place so Kelly thank you for sharing that that because that reminded me because
my friend in Missouri she was like loved Annie Downs and told me all about her I had no idea who
was. And then, yeah, like a year or so later, Jackie was on her podcast. I mean, Jackie
backed down a lot of times. So again, it's just all those supernatural ways that you
ladies come into this community. So, Teresa, thank you for just being vulnerable and sharing
that. Tell me, do you feel lighter? Do you feel, was that encouraging for you? Do you
want to talk a little more about what's going on?
I do feel my situation is fairly different because I'm a widow. So, yeah.
Oh, I just comfort for you right now. My husband was a widow as well.
I live in Canada, so it's a little harder to get to you guys.
Hey, we have a lot of community in Canada, believe it or not. Where in Canada are you
at?
Close to Edmonton.
Oh, there's tons. There's tons of people in there. All right. So, get connected. I think
in our app, in our phase two, there is a pinned post in the all section. And I think there's
a little toucan. It's the spirit mate match. Jackie put it up wanting to know where everybody
was located.
Yeah, I see that one.
Okay. I will strongly encourage you ladies to connect that way. And then when you are
ready to go into phase three, because remember, phase two is going to be a smaller intimate
community. Y'all are not going to be stuck here forever. Okay. You will graduate into
your phase three. And when you do, when you ladies have watched all your videos, you've
spent at least four or five weeks. Some of you might spend a little longer. You've come
to check-ins, you engaged in the community. You can email us at admin at JackieDorman.com
to request to be moved to phase three. And then when you're in phase three, you can search
and reach out to women and say, hey, I'm in this area. Who's near here? Let's get together.
Okay. Strongly encourage that.
So how do I know when there's something in my area?
So you can, you can sign up for single cities. So that is an option in Facebook still. So
if you look at single cities, I think there's, there's a couple, I want to say there's at
least two or three single cities in the Canada area. So if you go to the resource tab in
our app.
Yeah, it was Calgary and Vancouver, which are like Calgary is still three hours away
from me.
I would suggest still jump into that one because there could, and probably is some people still
in your area, but some of them are in that one as well. Okay. So, and then, yeah, when
you get to phase three, there'll be even more people in there. Come to, come to the community
events as well. Like once y'all get into phase three, we usually invite phase two into one
of our phase three sessions at least once every month or two months.
So I would suggest going in there as well. And like looking at faces and connecting,
get to those prayer calls and engage in the chat there. There's always things going on
and just, you know, draw a connection. And you know, Tracy, there's so many widows that
come through this community. And I just want you to know that there are people in this
community that relate to you and understand. I will even share when you get to phase three,
Bethany Oliver, she's one of our coaches in phase three. She's the one that's actually
out in Arizona. She came in as a widow and she's a success story. And she has her love
story is incredible. I mean, I was able, we were in the same group at the time and I got
to walk through and, and watch that, that relationship unfold for her. And it's a really
cool story. So she's in there for you as well. So just know like there's people in this community
and there's women on this team, even that have experienced the season of life that
you're in currently as well. So just know you are in the right place and you are here
with people that will support you and can walk along this journey with you. Okay, let
someone else. All right. Yeah, she's gonna put somebody else on the spot now. So who's
gonna, who's going to be brave? Anybody? I love it. I love it, Shani. I know I was waiting
for you. I was totally waiting for you. I'm self-depressed now. Not real fresh. You're
safe. You are safe. Like this is a safe. So obviously I just got here. So maybe some of
this is an address somewhere.
in the program, but I guess there's a little bit
of apprehension moving from the heart work into phase two.
And I don't know if other people can relate to this or not,
but I feel like the last few people I've dated,
God has been showing me so much.
Like I almost know, like I almost know,
I don't know who my person is,
but I've met enough people who look like them.
Like not literally, but the whole like energy of them.
So in the end, each person gets better than the last,
almost in a way that it's hard to sort of believe
what next would even look like.
So I'm grateful for that, like that is a blessing,
but it also makes doing something like seven dates
in a few months, like I've gotten really good
at the weeding out process.
And the one hand being open is probably a good thing,
but then I also get a little paranoid because it's hard.
I almost like the people I need almost instantly decide
I'm their person.
And then getting out of it,
once I found the thing that doesn't work is painful.
So like, I don't really wanna waste time
with things that I know aren't it, but I also know,
you know, like, I mean, I've given God permission
with the list and everything.
These are the things I want.
And if there's a desire that I don't know that I want,
switch it in me.
And until I hear otherwise, this is what I want.
And so I'm just a little bit apprehensive
to go back to the numbers game when, I don't know.
Does that make sense?
Yes, it does.
So don't focus so much on that number, the seven dates.
It really, like the whole reason,
like one of the reasons that we put that into place,
it actually, I remember it because I had been
in the community for probably at least a year.
And then Jackie came and challenged us in,
was it in the summer or in the fall?
I can't even remember, but it had been a while.
And she put that out there because she just wanted
to encourage us to just start putting
into practice what we were learning.
Okay, and so she chose the number, number seven,
because numbers speak to her.
And I can't recall exactly what,
I'm still learning the whole numbers
and God speaking through numbers sort of thing.
But she does, when she talks about it,
I believe in that love story accelerator,
she talks about why she chose seven.
And so it's, to me, it's not a small number
because then it's actually gonna push us to be like,
oh, I actually gotta put some effort into getting there
for people that might be a little like, I don't know.
So it's enough to be like, okay, I better get this started.
But it's not too much to where it's scary.
Now I say that and I know some people
are gonna argue with me like, no, seven dates is scary.
Seven dates was scary for me too.
But when you just break it down,
it's just one foot, just focus on getting the one date.
And then when you get the one date,
assess, okay, God, what are you speaking to me in this?
I like how you are sharing about,
there's some optimistic, like optimism in your voice.
And I can feel that optimistic nature in this process.
And I want to, like that is the right track in my opinion.
Because when we are in that optimistic open posture
of being like, okay, I'm just gonna go out on dates
and Lord, you're gonna show me, you're gonna direct me.
There's gonna be lessons that I can learn in that
because that was honestly,
once I finally got my feet moving and started dating,
God started revealing to me why he was putting
certain people in my past date to practice with
because I needed to see certain things in myself first
before I was able to step in
and accept who he had for my husband.
And so what I mean by that is I remember one date
specifically was with a gentleman actually in the community
and just a super awesome guy.
Like I was so hopeful that he was it
because he really was a standup amazing guy.
And I was so hoping it was him
because it was the easy choice.
It was the simple choice
because at the time I was living in.
Sarasota, Florida, which is like the retirement capital
of the world, all right?
So being like in my late 30s, early, you know,
getting ready to seven in my 40s,
most of the people my age that live in that area,
they already are married and have families.
And I had a child, like I had a young son
who was, you know, five, six years old.
He was about four or five when I joined Jackie.
Yeah, he was about five years old,
almost six when I joined Jackie.
And so he was a young kid.
And so it was just like, oh, this dude, easy choice.
He's like the fun guy, but here's the thing.
He was not ready to really step in to be a father.
All right, and I saw that in him on like very early on,
like in just getting to know him, he was like,
I always say, and I don't mean this as an insult to him,
like, but he was like Peter Pan,
like never wanted to grow up, but he did.
I mean, you know, he is a really standup guy,
but he just wasn't ready for that season
of being like a father.
And I knew that, but it was really cool
because while we were out on a date,
I was sitting at a coffee shop in downtown Sarasota,
and across the street was a location
where I had met my, like one of my former boyfriends
who was an alcoholic and a drug addict.
And I went through so much trauma within my twenties.
And that building or that location
actually had been worn down and they rebuilt it
into this luxury, like luxury high rise.
And so I'm sitting at this coffee shop,
looking across the street at the area
where I had met this, like, it just spiraled me
and just, it was just bad, okay?
And in the bottom level, in that first level
of where that luxury high rise was,
where it's like all these like, you know,
penthouses and all kinds of stuff where people lived,
was this high end jewelry store.
And God just really spoke to me,
like what a precious gem I was that, you know,
he was coming and redeeming certain areas in my life
and he was going to bring men in my life in this season
just to show me my worth and value
and that they weren't necessarily my husband,
but it was a way for me to identify like who God said I was.
And so the Lord can use the season, ladies,
in your dating season where you may not
meet your husband right away,
but it doesn't mean that he cannot use men in your path
to show you a process or show you areas where you have grown
and he wants to continue to grow in and get pulled up.
And at that time, there was even just, you know,
prophetic words of just, you know,
that we were high end, like we were a value
and we didn't belong in a thrift store,
but I actually belonged in a high end jewelry store.
And my husband was going to like invest
and appreciate the value that I was,
but I had to see my value for myself first.
Okay, so yes, I know we can get reluctant
in the numbers game and like the process of the dating
and all that kind of stuff,
just sit with it, just enjoy the process as much as you can.
Don't focus on the numbers and feeling like
you have to get the seven dates in three months,
just one date at a time, put your next foot forward.
That's all it takes and be open to what the Lord
wants to show you in the season,
because there's so much beauty that he can expose.
And like, that was my walk.
It was really, really, really, really important
And like, that was my walk.
It was really beautiful.
Like I had to wait a little bit in this program
before my husband came and I,
at times I got really ticked off.
Like I'd see women come in this community
after I had been here for a really long time.
Like I was one of the OGs.
And then these women would just like come in
the next thing you know, it's like,
you're seeing like their engagement, like announcement.
And I'm like, what the literal, you know what?
I was like, this is not cool.
But like the process for me, like it was so timely.
And like, God was just doing a work in me
that needed to be done.
Because then when he brought my husband into my, you know,
it was a beautiful love story
and it was all like intentional and special.
And I was actually in a place to be able to receive it
as a gift where before if I would have met him
a year or two prior when I first.
Scott into this program, I probably wouldn't have been ready for it. And in fact, he wasn't ready
for it. He had to walk through some stuff too. So I hope that just, I love that you brought that up
and I see you kind of like shaking. I see just some of that like weight kind of come off
and I hope that's what is happening. But thank you for, you know, just sharing and getting
vulnerable because I think it was, it's important for, because there's not many of you on right now,
but I do believe that this is going to be watching a replay and I, Shawnee, I think
someone's going to hear and relate to what you're experiencing and they're going to hear some
encouragement and it's just going to bless them and they're going to be able to really glean
some really amazing thing that God wants to do and collect more things with joy.
All right. All right, ladies, we are about, yay. It's about 1.30 here in central time in Texas.
It's 2.30 where y'all are at. So we've been on here for about an hour and a half.
If there is nothing else, Kelly, if you want to share something, I don't want to cut you off,
but if not, I know Blessie, she can't unmute right now. Okay, you are good. All right. Well,
then ladies, I am just going to activate you this week. I'm going to give you a little homework
assignment and then I'm going to just quickly pray for us and then I will let you enjoy the
rest of your Tuesday. So ladies, your homework for this week. Okay. I want you to post a photo
of something that is a win or a picture of something that you are collecting with joy.
All right. I want to see some of your smiling faces. All right. And share that in the win tab
of our app. Okay. So make sure you're clicking the win. Okay. If nothing else, if you're like,
wow, you know, Carla, I really can't. I can't do that. And you're just not feeling it right now,
then I'm going to encourage you at least to post something in our app. Okay. Not just in roll call,
but actually in our app. So it could be under the win category. If it isn't a win category,
I want to see some pictures. Okay. That's some really cool things. Your smiling faces,
what you're celebrating. If it's not that, ask a coach. If you have a question for one of us
coaches, me, Ebony or Renee or Bethany, if they're, you know, if one of us will get to it.
If not in that tab, there's the relationship milestone. So maybe you want to share
if you are working towards relationship or there isn't just something that you've overcome
or just in the all tab. So let's start engaging and connecting here in this community. Okay.
I assure you, you'll be blessed by it. Okay. All right. I'm going to pray for us ladies. So
heavenly father, I thank you. I thank you for these women. I thank you for the women that are
on now, but I also think, thank you for the women that are in replay Lord. And I just,
I pray over these women that they step into this week ahead with wherever they're at in this phase,
Lord, that they feel or joy and that you highlight to them what it is in this season
that they can be collecting with joy. Lord, you brought every single one of these women
here on purpose. You know what you're doing in them. You know what you have,
what you know, what's ahead for them and Lord, you are, you are a giver of very good gifts.
Lord. So I just, I pray over them. I pray that you just, you know, fill them with joy and peace
and patience and kindness as they step into this week. Lord, I ask you to calm their fears.
I ask you just to, you know, reveal your presence to them. Lord, I ask you to
help them come out of hiding, you know, allow them to be vulnerable here in our community. Lord,
Lord, I just, I know what relationships take when it comes to vulnerability and Lord,
I know that you want these ladies to step out and have courage. Lord, you call us to
be strong and courageous, not to be discouraged, but you are with us wherever you go.
And Lord, I just pray that you give supernatural courage and bravery to these women.
I thank you for their spirit mates and Lord, I just, just bless them this week.
Let me do that in your son's name. Amen. All right, ladies, go be blessed this week.
Go collect joy. All right. We'll see you next week.