All right. Hey, last year's single. Welcome to love seats. We are here at the end of the
month of September. We have so much, uh, end of the month of September and we have so much
exciting stuff that is going to be coming. I mean, today is October 1st here this week.
I can't believe it says October 1st, you guys, I, for some reason I thought it was that last
day of September, but it's actually the first day of October, which is even better because
this week we are headed into, uh, Rosh Hashanah and we're going to have so much fun. Uh, this
week I led prayer this morning. It was fire. The things that got downloaded, we had an
amazing word release this morning on prayer. And so that got recorded. And so please look
for that in your replays. I'm going to have Cheryl put that up in everybody's replays
and you'll be able to listen to that. Um, but we're going to continue into that mindset
on supernatural Saturday. And then we have another special prophetic session. We usually
only have it once a month. We had it last Sunday, but we're going to have another special
prophetic session on Sunday night. All of that will be available in replay, but we would
love to have you live. If you can be live. Okay. Love my red nails. Okay. Thanks. If
you can see them up close, you probably wouldn't love them because they're super grown out
from my daughter's wedding. So, um, very excited about love seats tonight. Why? Because
we are kicking off a new era of last year, single, and that is our spirit mate match
era, spirit mate match era. We're going to have all kinds of things on the calendar in
October that utilize the tools that we have available to us as coaches and as matchmakers
through spirit mate match. And so if you have not filled out your profile yet, please
fill out your profile. If you're like, where is that? It is in the resource section of
your app. Okay. In the resource section of phase two phase three men's group. Those are
the only people that are here right now. Our phase one heart work. Chicky mamas are not
here with us tonight because love seats is a higher level session only available to phase
two and phase three and men. And so make sure that you look in that resource tab on your
app and you'll see the affiliate program you can sign up for. And you'll also see your
spirit mate match profiler intake form. A lot of people have had questions about, Hey,
I can only upload one photo. Yeah, we're working on that. That's not supposed to be
what happens, but one photo is better than no photo. And so make sure that you upload
a photo and also keep in mind that as of now, our team, me and my little matchmaking apprentices
that are helping me administratively are the only ones that see the profiles. So no potential
men or women are scrolling through and looking at your profiles. And why is that? Because
this is not a dating app. This is a matchmaking service and all of you that are in subscription,
which is all of you, you are as a, as a perk of your subscription, you have been added
to the dating pool or the database. And so we still have people rolling onto the database,
but I'm happy to report that the percentage of men and women is really making me happy.
Can I tell you that right now, the percentage of spirit mate match of men versus women,
as far as profiles that have been filled out rivals, any dating app than you've ever been
on. Okay. So we're getting a good turnout. I now currently have a thousand men in my
1822 group. And I have been, and you can pray for me, but I have been talking to them personally.
I've been slipping into their DMS personally, like, Hey, make sure you fill out your spirit
mate match profile. And they are, they are filling them out. And so very excited about that. You
guys, if you want a prayer objective, I would like to be at 50% men, 50% women by the end of 2024.
Okay. That's what I would like to be at. And you guys, that would be a miracle. There's absolutely
no dating service, matchmaking service, nothing out there that has an equal amount of men and
women, but because of what's happening right now, as far as men filling it out and being open to
filling it out. And the percentage of men keeps climbing every day. I really think we can get
there. I do. Okay. Call me foolish, but I believe in faith that we can definitely get there.
If you guys haven't noticed men, do not like technology when it comes to their love lives.
They don't, they don't like dating.
apps, they do not like texting. A lot of times, they're not good
at keeping up with technology based relationship. And so it's
difficult to get them to sign up for such a thing. But we have, I
believe in my heart that we have obtained a high level of trust
with our male population in 1822. And they trust us. And so
they're willing to do what we're asking them to do. In fact, I
had a guy say to me today that I'm going to try I'm trusting
God and you Jackie and so that is huge kudos to me that I get
to be in the same line as trusting God. And so I really I
take that seriously. And I'm not going to betray that trust. I'm
going to do my best to do what's best for everyone. So please go
fill out yours if you haven't. And just understand that we are
still in the process of taking the intake forms. But in October
we are going to have some fun online meetups and events that
that are using those intake forms to section people out. So
that's going to be fun. A little bit of a single shuffle a little
on on October 31, which is Halloween for most people, we're
going to be having a fun event online for those of you that
don't have Halloween plans because it is a Thursday. And so
we're going to be doing some fun things with our spirit mate
match tools and resources in October. So very fun, very fun
with that. Not a speed dating event. For those of you that are
asking for that I like shuffles better. And the difference
between shuffles and speed dating is that the people that
get to talk to each other already have something in
common. Okay, we already know that there's some compatibility
between the people that have those little brief interactions
with each other based on assignment based on us assigning
them to, you know, meet up with each other online or in person.
So I like that better. I really do. Okay. All right. So if you
have any brilliant ideas, you're like, Hey, what if this then
email us with those brilliant ideas? admin at Jackie Dorman
calm say, Hey, what if you tried this? Or I saw this happening in
this place? Can we do that too? We'd love to hear from you. We
do have some amazing ideas, but we are always open to more
amazing ideas, especially from you our community. Alright, so
without further ado, let's go ahead and start our spirit mate
match single spotlights tonight. I have two millennial men that
I'm excited to introduce you to for those ladies that are older
and like, Hey, where are the guys in our age group? We will
have them next time. And you're like, Hey, but what about
highlighting women in the single spotlight? Well, look around.
Remember how I said men don't like to come to live sessions,
highlighting women to other women, and then men watching and
replay, I feel is not a good use of our time. And so I will be
highlighting my single, my spirit mate match profiles and
women, but I'll be doing that on my social media where I have a
lot of male following. And I know a lot of you don't know
this. But you signed up for spirit mate match, you sign on
the dotted line, you also signed that beautiful disclaimer
form. Remember that form that you signed, that allows me to
pretty much do anything that I want. And remember, I have your
best interest in heart. So there's a whole bunch of you.
And I didn't even randomly pick and choose. I just just quickly
gathered a bunch of your profiles, and I posted them in
my 1000 men group. So a lot of you are already out there, and
you don't even know it yet. And so it's one of those things
where you have to trust the process. You have to trust God
trust Jackie, and just know that when there is a match, and there
is interest that you will be notified. Okay, we will send a
telegraph, we'll send a telegram, we will send a carrier
pigeon, we will send messages, emails, we will get in touch
with you, you don't got to worry about it. Okay. Alright, so
let's get this going. Because you know, I can entertain you
until you learn something all night long. I'd love to
entertain you. But I'm going to bring up
all right, Stevens in the house. So we got Steven. And then let
me find Josh. I found Josh. Here's Josh. All right, add
spotlight.
All right, here we are. Hey, guys, thanks for coming tonight.
I'm so glad you're here. Alright, so first round and
ladies, you can put any appropriate questions in the
chat for Steven and Josh. But we're gonna, we're just gonna
start out with vital statistics. I actually happen to know both
of these men fairly well. I've met them in person. I've known
both of them for several years. In fact, I I've known Steven for
more than seven years. And I've known him for a couple of years.
years. Um, I actually knew his parents before I knew him and I was introduced to him from his
parents. Um, both of them in heaven now and enjoying, you know, being with Jesus. And so we
go, we go back and then Josh has been part of our community pretty much from the beginning. Um, but
because thank you for your service, he has been doing a lot of things with his job in the military
and the different things that he does. He's been kind of in and out. And so we're going to catch
up with what Josh is up to, but Josh is another single spotlight that I've actually met in person
several times. And so I can vouch for both of these guys, great guys, great godly character,
eligible bachelors, the most eligible. And so, um, I'm going to let you guys go ahead and tell
us where you currently, where are you from, where you currently live and your age. So Steven first
then Josh. Yeah. Hi Jackie. Thanks for the opportunity. Um, so Steven Iams, I am from
Columbus, Ohio as where I reside and age currently 45, but you give me literally six days. That
number will change. Oh, okay. So turning 46, so more of an Xennial. So Steven's an Xennial. If
you don't know what that is, that's Gen X and millennial had a baby and it's an Xennial,
which basically means they're like the Oregon trail generation. Okay. Um, doing that fun stuff
in school. Okay. And then Joshua, tell us where you live and how old you are.
Hello. Great to be on. Um, yeah, so I live in Connecticut. And in fact, I am, uh, I am directly
between New York city and Boston. So it's like a two, two and a half, half hour trip in either
direction, right on the highway. So dead snap between the two and I grew up there, raised there
born and raised. So yeah. And I am 41 years old. Okay. So awesome. So a true millennial of
millennials. Okay. So on the, on the upper, upper curve of millennials and why is that important?
Because people that are all coming from the same generation have a lot in common, but you know,
once again, there there's age differences and matches for sure. Okay. So first question, um,
you guys are both single, but have either one of you ever been married before? And do you
have any children? I'll go. I have been married. Um, got married very long time ago, very young
and divorced very young. So it was long, long time ago and no, no children. And Josh, how,
how long have you been divorced? Uh, give me a second here. 14 years. All right. Yeah. A long
time ago. Okay. And then Steven, same question. Never married and no children. All right. Never
married, no children. Okay. So that's, that's easy. So what would you guys say is the, um,
how would you describe your spiritual life? This is a big thing with our women. They want to know,
you know, like what your connection to your spirituality is. How would you describe your
spiritual life? You can use a word, you can, you know, kind of talk about how you connect
spiritually to God. What does that look like? Do you go to church? Like, how would you describe it?
Yeah, I can take this first. Um, I would describe my spiritual life as I'm a believer. Um, I've been
raised in the church all my life, did multiple mission trips, uh, as younger. And then even
through my father who did multiple mission trips with an orphanage in Chile, uh, went down a couple
of times and did some, um, work down there in Chile with building the orphanages out currently.
Um, I would say not a regular attender, but on occasion, a tender, um, I am someone who is very
active in, um, a sporting event and it takes place a lot of times on the weekend. So therefore,
uh, I am gone on the weekends, but yeah, I am a believer. Okay. Yes. And, and go ahead and say
what that sporting event is. Cause that's like a big hobby of yours. They're really important.
You love it and it's curling curling, the winter Olympic sport of ice curling. So where we
so ladies go ahead and Google that if you, if you don't know what that is, it's like, it's kind of
like shuffleboard meets like, how would you describe it? Describe curling? Oh, look, there's
a little curling puck. Uh, yeah, it's, um, a four person sport on ice. It's like chess on ice is the
easiest thing. Like you said, shuffleboard. So we're throwing stones, one end and trying to
outscore the opponent. Yes. But you guys, I think it's important to understand that, you know,
what, besides the skill of it and the, you know, the sportsmanship of it,
what Steven loves about it is he loves the.
community. There's an entire community of people that surround this sport, just like really any
hobby. And so the community, um, has been a really big, important part of Steven's life over the last
few years. Um, okay. So you guys remember it's all about community and that's important. Okay.
So Josh, what do we got? So how do you describe your spiritual life and you can go ahead and
throw in what you know, what you do for fun or hobby as well. Um, yeah, so my spiritual life,
so born and raised Christian, um, in a non-denominational setting, uh, kind of
walked away a little bit, uh, for a couple of years and really came back a couple of years ago.
And since then, um, and we're talking like 2017, 2018 really came back in and discovered, uh, grace
versus legalism, which was an awesome experience. And, uh, now we've just been on this awesome
journey with the Lord and I, uh, my just started church hunting again. Um, but when I have a church
or when I'm even now church hunting, uh, I try to attend as often as possible. So at least
on Sunday and if there's Wednesday night services, I'll do that too. Um, yeah, I'm really into, uh,
just exploring all aspects of God. I love everything about biblical history, but I'm also,
uh, very in the charismatic movement you'll say. So I'm very interested in, uh, seeing healing in
the prophetic and all these manifestations of the Lord. Um, they're really just letting Jesus
change my life. So yeah, like church is a priority for me. Absolutely. And, um, yeah, I lose one week
in a month because of the military, uh, national guard service. So that that's unfortunate. I can't
really change that unless I quit the job, but that's it. And as far as hobbies, um, you threw
that in there. I used to, used to do ballroom dance. I always throw that out because apparently
that's a rare thing for guys. Don't know why. Um, haven't done that in a bit, but looking to restart
and, um, really love being outdoors. That's like my thing. I'd like to get more into hiking,
want to start camping. Um, but yeah, like being outdoors, hiking, um, I don't know, reading.
There's a lot of things here. I'm on the spot, so I can't think of all of it, but I'm sure it'll
come to me now. Yeah, it's great. And both of you guys are really outdoors guys. Both of you,
both of you like to travel. You like to hike. Uh, Steven likes to ski and do all different types of
outdoor things. Also, you know, both, both of these gentlemen have, you know, like to travel
and do travel. And so, um, that that's important stuff. A lot of people are asking, can you
relocate? Are you willing to, can you, um, that's a question for both of you.
For me, it's, it's complicated. Uh, as of right now, I would say no, I am extremely close to my
sister. Um, she's one year younger than I am on this, uh, one of four. So number three of four
and my younger sister has five children. So I am very much part of her family and kind of the
go-to babysitter for free. Um, but every occasion I do get gift cards, but yeah, so I'm the go-to
babysitter. So it's, uh, it's not just a me moving decision. It's, uh, affects his family members as
well. Right. Okay. Yes. Uncle Steven, uncle Steven really important. Um, I know his sister as well
and adorable kids. Um, so Josh, what about you? Are you able to relocate? So I could, um, my job
is very much tied to my state where I live. So, uh, I would not be able to take my position
elsewhere. That said, um, you know, uh, I wouldn't just relocate for the sake of dating. Uh, that
would not happen. Um, but I could entertain long distance for, you know, like what looks like the
right match. And as far as then getting married and relocating, yeah, absolutely. I am, I'm of
the firm belief that, uh, when I get married, I really want to kind of give up what I have now
and would hope that my partner would kind of do the same and both be going to do something new.
So I'm very down for, uh, getting out of new England when the time comes. So in fact, I just
went to Bethel in California and started thinking about, uh, maybe relocating sooner than later.
We'll see. Oh, we've got a lot of Bethel, but a lot of Bethel women on here tonight that I
would like, Hey, yes, come on. Okay. So 10 being extremely marriage minded, like, like I'm in that
season, I'm looking for my wife and then one being, yeah, you know, I'm, I'm ready to date.
I'm ready to get out there and meet people on the scale of one to 10. And I just gave you the
spectrum. Where are you? Well, obviously with the right person, but where are you
Solid 12. Yeah. Out of 10, 12 out of 10. Get me married. Okay. So you're ready. You're like,
you're ready. You're like, I want to meet her. I'm looking for her. I'm actively looking for her.
Looking, okay.
And what about you, Steven?
I'm gonna say eight, nine.
So I come to the season of my life now.
I think I'm, which is why I signed up
and to be part of your program, Jackie.
I am ready to, I don't wanna say settle down
because I don't think I can ever settle,
but because of all the activities that I do and things,
but I'm ready to have a partner for life
to do all of my adventures with.
And I want that person to be with me.
Yes, I can attest that both of these men
need to marry a best friend.
Both of them are gonna need to marry a woman
who is fun to be with, that enjoys life.
Joy is gonna be a non-negotiable for both of these guys.
A woman who's excited about life,
wants to do something significant with life
and help people and in whatever way that looks like,
but also to be that partner that they can,
yeah, exactly, a ride or die best friend there, Nora.
You got it.
Okay, so kids, neither one of you have children.
Do you want, if possible, biological children?
Are you still open to biological children?
Yes, yep.
So I'm open to biological and non-biological.
Okay, what about you, Josh?
Absolutely, I very much wanna be a dad.
That's like one of my biggest things, I really do, so.
Okay, are you also open to non-biological,
meaning adoption, fostering,
people that already have a child?
I am, mm-hmm.
Okay, all right.
That answers your questions, ladies.
So many of you asked that, so simmer down.
All right, we got that.
Okay, what else do we have?
Women are like, hey, babies, what do you think?
Okay, does, let's see.
Both are adorably handsome.
Yes, I agree, for sure.
Stephen, with that curling hobby,
a lot of the Canadian ladies are like, pick me,
because I guess that's a popular sport in Canada, right?
Yep.
Okay, people wanna know,
favorite book you've ever read
or book you're currently reading?
Either, either, either answer.
Top out, easy answer.
Current book I'm reading is The Heart Work.
Oh, yay.
Okay, that makes me feel good.
I like it, okay.
So he's reading The Heart Work.
Okay, what about you, Josh?
I am, oh, it's around,
I have a whole bookshelf behind me
and I don't have it next to me.
Currently reading, I think it's,
is it Born for Significance
or Made for Significance by Bill Johnson?
Somebody actually at the Open Heavens Conference
walked up and like perpetually handed that to me
out of nowhere, was like,
God told me to give you this,
and it was one that I was considering buying,
so there you go.
One of the best books I've read is actually back here,
and it is Wild at Heart by John Eldredge,
which like every man should read that.
That's a good one.
And if you're into the male soul, read it too,
but it's, yeah, it like unlocks the heart of men.
It's amazing, so one of the best.
Yeah, I have perused that book.
It looks like Steven has read that book as well,
or at least knows of it, because he's nodding.
So yes, that's a good book for sure.
Okay, ladies, I'm looking, I'm looking for,
and ladies, for those of you that like,
I wish I was 15 years younger, don't forget,
we have amazing guys in Spirit Mate Match
that are in your generation age group as well.
So Gen X, two boomers, okay?
And so we will be having those guys on next week.
In fact, I had a great guy in his 60s still play softball.
He's not here tonight because he has a softball game,
but he was coming and he will be here next time.
All right, so please do not despair.
All right, all these questions have been answered already.
What other new questions, you guys?
Katie wants to know, what is the top item
on your bucket list or top item on your bucket list?
I would say the newest item I've added to the bucket list,
and don't judge.
Everyone's allowed to have a guilty pleasure show.
Sure.
I want to do a below deck episode.
I want to go get a super yacht,
take some friends and just have a good time on a boat.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, that sounds super fun.
I hope that I get invited because I am super fun friend.
And so going on a yacht, that sounds fun.
Below deck, is that like a show?
It is.
Okay, I haven't seen that.
I want to be more of the people that get catered to.
I don't want to be the servers for it,
but yeah, I want to go to the Caribbeans,
having some fun.
But a lot of time there, um, so I'd love to go down and a better way
than to run a super yacht and do it.
So, yeah, like a chart.
So like a charter trip on a yacht to like, you know, and we just got off a cruise.
And I think that that would really be fun to like be on a smaller vessel.
That's a little bit more high end.
That'd be fun.
Um, what about you, Josh?
And you guys, because it's a bucket list item, you know, it can be extravagant.
You may or may not do it in your lifetime, but we'd like to know, go ahead, Josh.
That's a hard one to think of.
Um, cause I just filled some of the bucket list items in the past couple of years.
Um, I think I really want to go, I want to go out to the Pacific Northwest and.
Like do some hiking, camping out there, like for a couple of days.
That's a big one.
Um, I just saw the Redwoods for the first time like a week ago and that was incredible.
So not even a week ago.
So, uh, yeah, definitely have to go out there.
Everything else that I want to do.
Big ones are checked off.
So I think I've got, I'm letting God give me new ones, but there's a lot I want to do,
but, but that's when it sticks out for now.
Yeah, no, that's great.
I love it.
Um, okay.
So we know that both of you are outdoors guys.
You like to visit the wild outside, the wild outdoors, but as far as when it comes to
living, people want to know city or country or suburbs, we can add suburbs in there.
I don't know why we would, but we will city, country or suburbs.
I'll go.
Um, I would, I'm going to say suburb to a point.
Um, just because I like having access to both.
Like I love going to New York city, you know, that, um, you know,
hanging out and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,
um, you know, hanging out and doing things for a couple of days, but I wouldn't live
there, um, being out in the extreme country, maybe if it's flat, probably
not, but maybe in like the mountainous areas more likely.
Yeah.
But I would lean more towards rural, like where I can have
trees instead of asphalt.
That'd be great.
Yeah.
Okay.
So trees, mountains.
And so wait, answer this before Steven answers the first question.
You answer this ocean or mountains.
Beach or mountains.
Mountains more than beach, but I do love the water.
So, okay.
Fair.
Yeah.
And if you hit that right, that, that, that little piece of, you know, the
Pacific coast highway going up into Santa Barbara and Malibu, you get both.
Right.
You get the nice hills.
They're not mountains quite, but you get the ocean too.
It's gorgeous there.
All right.
So first question, city, suburbs, country for you.
And then you can answer beach or mountains as well.
Yeah.
Uh, country for me, I would say, um, I currently live in the suburbs, but, uh,
country is kind of where my heart's always been born and raised in the country.
Uh, did 4-H when I was a child.
So took pigs and sheep to the fair.
Um, so loved on a farm, grew up till the land know how that all works.
Um, you would not think by my taste now that, Hey, I want to do a super yacht,
certain things, but, and do you like the nice, nice things in life?
Between mountains and beach.
Uh, if you had a caught me, I would say 10, 15 years ago, always mountain always.
Um, but then go to Hawaii and spend a God that for a friend's wedding and
spend a couple of weeks on the beach.
Um, yeah, I've got totally into the beach life now, so I can totally just chill
out at the beach and veg and I'd be good with that.
Okay.
I love it.
All right.
So tell people what you guys do, um, for your vocation for living and
and do you like it?
What do you do?
And do you like it?
All right.
I'll go first.
Um, so as I mentioned, I am in the national guard, which means that I, uh,
I lose at least a weekend a month and a couple of weeks in the year.
And then various other crazy weeks and months for Lord knows what.
Uh, but I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,
I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I.
Not just work for them part-time.
I'm also a full-time employee and I manage, uh, their IT department
in here, Connecticut.
So I'm one of the three managers for the Connecticut national guards IT.
Uh, so it's a lot of customer service, uh, not the most exciting job, but.
It gives me good connections with people and it's really not bad.
There's some good benefits there and it's what I'll keep doing until
I leave the state, that's for sure.
So, okay.
And dream, dream, like if you were, if you were not in service, uh, the
skillset that you have crosses over to what, what would you do?
What would you be doing?
Oh, yeah.
I can still take that to other like managerial roles.
Um, and I couldn't, I mean, I could apply to other roles in the federal
government for, uh, for the time being when I was transitioning, that was.
would want to do, I guess my question is what would you want to do if you aren't doing what
you're doing?
I'm still discovering that.
And so there are other books I'm reading in the process to try to let the Lord unlock
that, but he's dropping a lot on me in a short period of time.
So that is a actively unfolding thing, but I'm in discovery.
So.
Okay.
I love that.
And a good woman will help that discovery.
Um, so we love, we love that.
Okay.
And so Steven, what do you do and do you love it?
I am an account manager, um, sales is kind of what I do.
Uh, I do, I'm in the healthcare aspect.
So I work for a healthcare company and I serve as hospitals, um, kind of in the Northern
Ohio territory, even though I live in the Columbus area, but, um, yeah, it's, it's a
fun role.
I've always enjoyed account management.
Um, I've done it for the last couple of years, um, been in the healthcare space the last
15 years.
And then before that I was in the wireless space for almost 15 years as well.
So, um, I worked for Verizon for years.
I didn't do anything with her down outages in the Midwest yesterday.
So don't blame me if you would live in the Midwest and didn't have phone service, but,
um, yeah, it's, uh, it's kind of always what I love to do is the account management sales.
Awesome.
Yes.
And I can vouch for both these guys, both of them responsible, financially stable, and,
you know, good at what they do and with people.
Okay.
So let's ask three adjectives.
You can take a few minutes to think about this, but three adjectives to describe, um,
what you, what attracts you in a woman.
Okay.
So like, you know, spontaneity, kindness, like three adjectives.
We'll keep it to three that, you know, that you find attractive and what you are looking
for in your spirit mate.
I would say I'm going, um, I think Jackie, you know, I've talked about that before.
I just, um, I'm an outgoing personality.
I like someone who can kind of equal and match that, um, who's also outgoing, who's adventurous,
um, likes to do new things because, um, there's so many things to do out there in life.
I just don't want to keep doing the same things over and over again.
So I'm always adventurous looking.
And then I think one of the biggest things for me, and I don't know if it's really an
adjective, but, um, just financial security.
Someone who knows how to handle their own finances.
I've felt I've done a very good job through my career, my life and where I'm at.
Um, and let's be real.
I don't want to work the rest of my life either.
I have a certain goal of an age that I'm trying to retire at.
Um, and I'm working very hard to get to that age and I would like to enjoy my life and
do other things as well.
So, um, I think just someone who's also very financial aware or acute to what their situations
are is very attractive.
Yeah.
So he wants someone who's also been financially responsible is what he's saying.
And you know, has had a plan for their finances as well, so that you guys can come together
and you know, retire and refire and do all the things.
Okay.
Because ladies, and I think it's important because Steven just said this, I want this
to turn into, cause we do have love seats tonight.
Let's turn this into a coaching moment.
Um, if you are looking for a man to, you know, finance your life, then that is a bygone era.
Okay.
It's one thing to have a season of life where you want to stay at home and raise children.
And you know, you can negotiate that in relationship, like, Hey, this is what I'm looking for.
I want to be a stay-at-home mom.
That's present in the children's lives, you know, while they're young and, and, and, and
growing up.
Right.
Um, but if you're just looking for, you know, to be able to quit your job that you don't
like and have some man like fund your life, we don't do that anymore.
Okay.
We got the vote.
We're empowered.
We don't do that anymore.
That's not what women do.
Okay.
And men don't like it.
I'm just telling you.
A lot of men will say to me, Hey, I want a woman who, um, has plans, has ambitions is
going after things in life and isn't just waiting for me to show up to give her identity
or value.
So that's important.
And, and Stephen's not saying any of that.
I'm saying all of that as a coaching moment for our ladies that are watching.
Okay.
So the one thing I would add on, because I don't want it to come across like, Hey, if
you've got that or anything, no, I'm also someone who is, I want, I want to be a cheerleader
just as much for them as I want them to be a cheerleader for me through my life.
So if there's goals, if there's things that they're looking for in life, I am, I want
to be right there and be a champion for them and be that rock for them.
But at the same point as a man, we also need a woman to be that support for us as well.
Uh, and we need the cheerleader right behind us because, uh, let's face it.
There are some times when we go out and it's scary that the adventures as we do, and you
take a new leap, a new career change or something, um, you do need that support.
And that's kind of what I'm looking for as well.
Yeah.
Very good.
Very well said you guys.
And that is what.
is what modern marriage looks like.
That's what I'm looking for.
Yeah.
And honestly, I think that's what God had intended
Yeah.
when he made the masculine and feminine,
Yeah.
that we would be complimentary opposites,
Yeah.
that we would be able to partner,
Yeah.
and one can't, but two can.
Yeah.
You guys know, for those of you that are in the community,
Yeah.
you know what that means.
And so just being able to be better together,
that's really what it's all about.
So well said, thank you, Steven.
Josh, three adjectives.
Oh man.
Or more, if you have more, that's fine.
Oh gosh.
I don't know if I can fit it into adjectives,
but I definitely will co-sign on spontaneity
or adventurism, for sure.
I don't, I'm really not looking for someone
who just wants to be a homebody, which is fine.
Like that's totally fine, and I can respect that,
but it's just not the life that I want to live.
I really want to be able to get up and go and do things.
Low cost is fine, but you know, be adventurous.
Someone who has grace, you know,
and there's a lot, but gentleness, wisdom,
like all combined to grace.
And I'm not sure how else to explain it,
but I really value when a woman is like very secure
in her femininity and just enjoys being female.
Just like I enjoy being male.
Like I just love our, like I love the different identities
that we have and how we complement each other.
So I value that.
So I don't know how else to put that.
It's kind of open-ended, but it means a lot to me, so.
Okay, awesome.
This question always comes up, but are you,
are you, both of you, this question is to both of you,
are you open to people that come from different backgrounds,
different ethnicities, or are you just open
to just different people than y'all?
Didn't grow up like you, don't necessarily look like you.
Are you open to that?
Yes.
Yeah, the only thing I would say, I am a conservative,
but I would just, would like to ideally align
for those values and that mindset a little bit.
It's kind of where I come from.
Okay, so that's, so that was about, he's conservative.
So those values, and I think, Josh,
that actually holds true for you too, as well.
Oh yeah, yeah, it does.
Okay, yeah.
So, all right, well, in this community,
I don't think we're gonna have much pushback on that.
So that's well said.
Got people in here like, I'm Italian, check me out.
Okay, all right, so do either of you guys cook?
I know Stephen's a foodie, he likes to eat good food.
I think Josh actually likes to experiment and eat
good food too, and different types of food,
but do either of you cook food?
That's the question.
I can pour a really mean bowl of cereal,
like no one's business, and not have it catch on fire.
So that's like one of-
Are you a man with a can and a plan?
I do limited cooking because I meal prep.
I eat kind of the same thing Monday through Friday
for my like fitness goals and all that.
So I'm pretty used to cooking,
but I don't venture into like the baking territory.
I don't go looking at new recipes.
I just kind of learn something,
and then I just kind of lock that in.
And that makes it so that when I'm out having fun,
if I go to restaurants, that's when I do something new.
But for myself, it's more just what I need to maintain, so.
Stephen, can you tell us?
I am a baker over a cooker.
I do a lot of baking.
However, I do enjoy cooking.
I just hate the aftermath, aka the dishes.
That's the one thing, but no, I do enjoy cooking.
It's just hard.
I think just being single,
I think a lot of us can relate to this,
being single, living by yourself at home.
It's hard to cook for one and make decent meals a lot,
but I do enjoy cooking and enjoy cooking with others.
So it's a fun activity to do both together.
Yeah, you're right.
Cooking together is super fun.
So I can, because I know both of these men in person,
I can tell you that both of them are taller than me,
and I'm 5'10", okay?
So they're, you know, they're taller than me.
So for all you ladies that are like, are they tall?
You know?
No, I'm not, I'm not.
Well, you're the same height as me.
You're the same height as I am.
You're not shorter than me.
No, I'm shorter than you.
I'm like 5'8".
You're not, you're totally not.
I'm 5'9 3 4ths.
I am 5, I'm like 5'8 1 1.
No.
Yes.
I don't think so.
I don't think you are.
I know my height.
It's on so much paperwork for my job.
I'm going to, well, possibly I've shrank.
I'm going to find a picture of us together from New York
and I'm going to post it to prove
that you're at least the same height as I am.
So, and Steven is definitely, definitely taller than me.
I'd say you're like six feet tall, 6'1", 6'2".
What do we got?
I'm 5'11".
You know, I'll tell the truth
because I would lie and say I'm 6'1", if I was,
but I am 5'11".
But you guys have shoes on,
so then it makes you feel taller, right?
You've never been around me in your bare feet,
either one of you, so that's fair.
That's a fair assessment.
Okay, and Josh really likes to,
both of these guys are actually really good dressers.
They both know how to dress themselves.
They're really well put together.
In fact, Josh has a thing for, you know,
helping men dress well and present themselves well.
That's a passion for him, which I appreciate.
And both of you guys,
and you can push back if you want to,
but I find both of you to be fairly in good shape.
So would you describe yourselves as fit
in people that care about fitness?
Yeah, I've been trying to do the whole gym thing
for a couple of years,
and only actually since about April has it really clicked,
and I've been on this great journey.
And yeah, I'm getting the best shape of my life right now,
and I love it.
And I'm not gonna stop, God willing,
because he's given me a lot of grace
and determination to get it done.
So I value that, and I do value that in a partner.
We're not talking like extreme athleticism,
but in order to be able to go out
and have adventures and do things,
you have to be mobile, have to have some endurance.
And I want to be strong for my family,
and I want to be able to play with my kids
and grandchildren, God willing, and still be strong enough.
So putting in the work now,
so that's definitely a priority for me.
That's good.
Okay, what about you, Steven?
What do you think about the answer?
I would say I am a shape.
It's no joke.
I do try to get out and work out.
I've only discovered that there is a 6 a.m.
because around April, I started going to the gym
in the morning as opposed to in the evening.
I can be a morning person.
I'm just, don't talk to me,
like for the first five minutes,
just give me a moment and then we're good to go.
But no, I enjoy going to the gym in the morning.
Try to get there regularly for that
and just try to be active.
I'm a huge, just love to be outdoors around my house.
I love mowing my yard.
That is my biggest thing.
So when I am stressed or dealing with stress,
I will be out mowing my yard more than likely.
So that's where you'll find me.
Love that.
Okay, so what do you ladies wanna know more about?
Guys are being kind of quiet tonight.
I think you guys are both like, wow, these guys are great.
Okay, all right.
So I found a picture of David and Josh.
David has his tall shoes on.
So he's at least 5'9 in this picture
and they're the same height there.
See them?
That's David and Josh at a wedding.
So you're at least 5'9, sir.
Okay, all right, what else we got?
Ladies, what else you guys have?
All right, I'm gonna let these guys go
and we're gonna start left seats
if you don't have any other questions.
Zachy, we've asked several times the age range
they are looking for in their ideal mates.
Well, I mean, they told you how old they are.
And so you kind of, I mean,
if you guys have anything different
besides what I usually recommend,
which is a couple of years each way,
do you guys have any specified age range?
If you guys haven't noticed,
these guys are pretty open to what God has for them,
but do you have a specified age range?
Sure, I don't really.
I would say traditionally I'd like to be,
I think the older one in the relationship,
but that's not a deal breaker at all by any means.
So, but I'm looking for someone
who can experience life with me,
do a lot of the same things
that we're looking at doing together.
So I just, I would say more around my age,
is what I'm looking for.
All right, and then Josh,
do you have anything to say on that?
Yeah, I know that you kind of have
your kind of rule that you go by.
I'm more of the, like,
I'm looking at like the 30 to 40 range pretty much,
30 to 41, so like my age down 10 years roughly.
Much younger than that,
I don't really have a lot in common with somebody.
But yeah, I'm, as far as max age.
I'm kind of like maxed out with myself.
Um, I really do want children and yeah, that's kind of part of it.
And so, yeah.
But if you fall madly in love with a 42 or 43 year old, then you're not gonna,
you're not gonna, you're not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth, so to speak.
So this is, this is why these are bad questions, ladies, because men fall in
love with who they fall in love with.
Okay.
And so it's important and women as well.
So it's important for you to, um, know that I really liked this questions.
No one's ever asked this question before.
And so I'm going to ask it.
When's the last time y'all cried?
All right.
I think I probably know Stevens, but go ahead.
Just the most recent time.
Yeah, I'll give you that one.
Uh, definitely a few days ago when, when I was at the open
heavens conference in Bethel.
Um, great.
Not gonna lie.
Yeah.
I was, had a great encounter in worship and there's some German
across the little aisle for me that like handed me a tissue
because it was like that obvious.
So that was the last time.
Yeah, that's awesome.
That's a great place.
That's a great place to release that.
And then Steven, what about you?
Uh, two weeks ago.
Um, I know that cause it was a, it's a very powerful, uh, just kind of weekend.
I was, um, as Jackie had mentioned, both my parents have passed
and my mom most recently.
And so it just, I finally got to stop and breathe through the process.
Sorry.
And it's very emotional.
Um, just to your parents at a young age, it's, um, it's just different.
So it was tough, but that's really, um, yeah, but they're happy moments, happy
memories, um, I've turned a corner and I think last week it was a really good
weekend for it, honestly, I needed it last weekend, that's good.
And for all of you that have lost mom or dad, you guys know exactly what that's
like and, um, and I can attest that, um, Bill and Jane Imes, which were
Steven's parents are Steven's parents, um, and having phenomenal people.
Top shelf salt of the earth people.
So, um, I was friends with them before I was friends with Steven and it's a
very, it's a hard loss for earth for sure.
So lots of people understanding that grief, Steven, a lot of people have
lost their parents young and it just.
It's hard.
Okay.
So, um, ladies, do you have anything else?
I hope if nothing else you see tonight that we have, uh, just incredible
caliber of men, um, not just in spirit mate match, not just attached to this
community, but like a lot of the lies that some of you are believing have to
do with, there's no good men left that are not taken and guess what?
I think that we proved tonight that that's not true.
And there's a lot more where these two guys came from.
And so please, uh, start to let your hope increase.
So if you are interested in Joshua or Steven, and you feel like you fit now,
you got to know them a little bit tonight, got to hear their heart, uh,
get a feel for their personalities and where they are in life and
where they want to go in life.
And if you think honestly, that you are a match for them, then please email us
at admin at Jackie doorman.com and put in the subject line, their name,
Steven with a pH, um, or Joshua.
Okay.
And we'll take a look at that.
Uh, please include, cause I don't know what all of you look like.
Um, but I can look, if you don't have a spirit mate match profile filled out
with a picture of yourself, then please include a picture.
Okay.
With a little bio of yourself in that email, but if you do have your spirit
mate match filled out, then just include the email of which you registered for
spirit mate match.
Okay.
In the body of that introduction request and also the name as it's listed on
spirit mate match.
So I can look you up myself and take a look.
All right.
And then that's all you have to do.
We will contact y'all.
Um, if we're making an introduction, sound good.
And you guys are going to be a lot more of these fun, single spotlights,
whether it's over social media lives or here on our zooms, um, in the coming
days and weeks, cool.
All right.
Okay.
Um, so guys, thank you so much.
I want to, I appreciate both of you.
Um, and.
Of course, I hope that I get to introduce you to your spirit mate,
cause that would be amazing if I did.
Um, but if you've seen anyone gentlemen, uh, on these zoom windows, I know they
go by really fast, uh, that you're interested in hearing more about, then
you can also DM me with that.
And other than that, um, I'm going to go ahead and stop the spotlights and
we're going to go ahead and go on with our.
with our love seats.
All right, so if you're ready to go in the love seat,
if you want to be in the love seat,
then let's talk about some dating
and relationship questions, all right?
All right, okay.
Back to the Zoom gallery.
Okay, so who has dating and relationship questions?
Go ahead and put them in the chat.
If you're volunteering for love seats,
you wanna jump in.
Remember, I don't want more than 120 seconds
of background information before you ask your question,
but let's go ahead and do some dating coaching.
I had one question come in earlier, Jackie.
Do you want me to tell you that one
and have you start there?
Yeah, and then we'll go ahead and grab Ursula.
Go ahead.
Yeah, Victoria Patterson asked,
is it safe to continue dating a guy
who struggles with pornography,
saying he will change and is going to get out of it?
And that's what she wrote.
I need the definition of struggles.
Yeah, I try to get more information.
So Victoria, if you're here,
if you can give us more information on that situation,
that would be good.
And y'all, Ruth, no, Ron, let's not post that
because we don't have more information yet.
So I will tell you guys,
and I'm not saying anything about the gentlemen
that were spotlighted here,
but one of the questions that I asked
during my discovery calls with men and women
is what is your relationship past, present with pornography?
And there are very few people
that haven't at least recreationally dabbled in pornography.
Very few, very few people that haven't seen it,
haven't sought it out for a temporary gratification.
Maybe it was short-lived, but whatever.
And so I really need you guys to know
that that is a huge issue in our time and in our culture.
As far as I'm concerned, a weapon of mass destruction
against relationship, against marriage, against humanity.
And so we have to understand that, all right?
So definitely want to understand that.
Okay, how do I step into...
Okay, so Tiffany,
did someone want to get in the love seat?
Nora, do you have your hands up to jump in the love seat?
Yes or no?
Yeah.
Okay, let's go.
Go ahead.
Hi.
So I'm on the...
Hi, I'm on the apps
and I'm like talking to a bunch of different guys
and going through the getting to know you phase.
But I've also noticed that I tend to get the most excited
about and attracted to guys that I just meet in the wild,
especially at work.
I have kind of a pattern I've noticed
of just developing crushes on people in the workplace
just because I'm being myself.
I don't feel like I'm trying to prove anything dating wise
and then we just get to know each other.
So I guess, and I'm wondering, is that unhealthy?
Is that okay?
I think I've just been kind of wanting to be open
to who God has for me and thinking
it's gonna be nothing like my pattern in the past.
But could that ever be...
Could that be a potential spirit mate?
Yeah, and I think that it's fine to...
What you're saying to me is that I'd like to get to know
someone in real life before I feel attraction for them.
So you're catching crushes because there's familiarity,
because there's community, because it's lower stakes
because we're just around each other casually.
And then I start to have fun with you
and see your humor and your personality.
And then I start to develop something
other than, rather than being in a pressure cooker
of a dating app, trying to decide if I like someone
based on some blurb about their life in a picture.
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
And then it's also, you've used the term sapiosexual.
There's that, you're working on something,
it's a project, and obviously they have to be smart
to be in that role.
So there's certain things that just kind of lead to that.
But it's like, is that okay to drop the hanky
on someone at work or is that just like, okay,
notice that that's the kind of thing I like
and then look for that, like, you know,
in someone who I absolutely already know is a Christian
because I filtered for it on a dating app.
Yeah, no, I think it's completely healthy.
And I think community-based matchmaking
is what we're trying to do here.
And so I think that you're right on target with that.
Nora, can you remind me of how old you are?
35.
35, okay.
So Josh and Steven, Nora's an eligible bachelorette.
The reason why I'm saying that is because she lives out
in the Bay Area, but the reason why I'm saying that
is because I know-
know both those guys and you have personality qualities that I think both of them would
be attracted to.
So just throwing that out there because we have a lot of other guys I noticed here tonight,
like Steven Burns is in the house.
So Steven, you know, make sure that, you know, you're posting in the chat, um, post where
you live, how old you are, you know, the three adjectives of what you're looking for in a
woman as well.
Um, I will have you on the next spotlight as well.
I didn't notice that you were here.
I'm just some new guys for the ladies that come all the time.
There's a lot of new guys that are here.
Of course, we have all of our regulars hunters here tonight.
And I saw a lot of other guys that, you know, are always here with us and we appreciate
our, our guys that are always here, but I see a lot of new faces.
I see John rock, John road, our road art is here tonight.
That's that's a new face for me.
Um, so I just want to make sure that you guys understand that Mike, of course, he's a regular,
he's a, he's a ride or die with this community.
He's here tonight.
So I just want to make sure that you guys are taking a look at who else is here and
you guys are, you know, talking in the chat, um, and, and all, and all of that.
Okay.
So Nora, yes, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
It's great.
It's wonderful.
And personally, in my opinion, it's the way things should be.
I think technology based dating is not natural.
I think, I think dating strangers is not natural.
And so that's why we're trying to bring back community-based matchmaking and even spirit
mate match, you know, based in community, community-based matchmaking I think is where
it's at.
Okay.
Um, so that's good.
I think that that says a lot about you.
It says that you're an old soul that likes things the way they used to be pretty much.
Yeah.
And there is, there's, there's nothing wrong with that.
Okay.
All right.
Who else wants to jump in the love seat?
I have Ursula.
Go ahead, Ursula.
Jump on in.
Oh, hi Jackie.
Hi.
There is more question.
Like, um, I don't use that dating app, but I would like to, but I have a small business
and I am building my admin team to manage this business.
And how can I, I am very shy.
I am very shy Peruvian, Peruvian woman.
So I am in New York city.
So, but if I started to use that, that dating app, how can I, because right now in my process,
in my process to building that team, I can no more from New York city, but how can I
start to ask if I dating, if I know people, how can I tell them, Oh, are you okay?
You relocated to New York city on the East area.
You're asking me, how do you bring up whether or not someone's willing to relocate to New
York city?
Yes.
Well, first of all, I think that if you're matching with people that are long distance,
they've set their algorithm to be open to long distance.
Okay.
Apps don't show you people that are long distance unless they have set those parameters.
Does that make sense?
So you already know that they have a, they they've set a wide net to meet someone, right?
So that's, that's the first thing that you should remember.
And the second thing is that there isn't anything too intrusive about saying to someone, Hey,
you know, this is, I'm in New York city and you're in, you know, wherever they are, Pennsylvania
or they're in Jersey or wherever, you know, are you, are you open to getting to know someone?
Don't even use the word dating.
Are you open to getting to know someone?
Long distance?
Are you open to that?
I mean, obviously once again, they set their dating app so that they would meet people
long distance, but it's going to be a sacrifice.
What I found out that in New York city, even Jersey's far away, right?
You got to take a train.
It's going to take a long time.
Traffic's crazy.
You can't drive.
A lot of people don't drive.
And so because of that, it's important that you say, Hey, are you, are you willing to
put in the time to get to know someone long distance and just use that word, just use
that phrase, get to know someone long distance.
Okay, sure.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Okay.
Um, did we get more information on the porn question, Bethany?
Yes.
So she shared, uh, recently discovered the issue as I asked him when he accidentally,
well, supposedly accidentally sent a photo of a woman dressed in risque clothing.
When he was trying to send a picture of a scripture verse, he apologized for sending
the photo and said he didn't mean to send that.
So I asked him if he struggled with pornography.
And he said yes, he is working on getting.
It sounds like she's trying to say
he's working on not doing it anymore.
I had asked her how long had he been
struggling with it, or maybe you did.
She said I don't know.
And that was all I have right now.
OK, and now is this a new acquaintance?
Is there is this someone that she's dating?
Uhm, I believe from roll call today.
Uhm, she's been dating him for awhile
and Victoria, maybe just let us know.
I believe you said you're in a level three.
But I don't know how long they've been
saying that you're in an exclusive
relationship with someone who you're
expecting a scripture verse from,
and instead got a half a picture
of a half naked woman.
Well, that's a rude awakening.
OK, so that sucks.
And at the same time.
You know your God defended and
so this has come out.
It's come out for a reason,
but if you are telling us that
you are an exclusive level three
relationship with this person,
then it deserves a bigger
face to face conversation.
OK, if you made the decision to be
an exclusive boyfriend and girlfriend
with this person who is now admitting
to you that they have an area
that they're struggling in,
there are trying to get help.
They're trying to, you know, whatever.
Then it at least deserves a
face to face conversation.
Ladies, gentlemen,
if this was an acquaintance,
if this was someone that you don't
know, haven't met in person,
someone that you're just
getting to know, maybe you've just
been on one or two dates with,
I would have different advice.
OK, my advice would be,
hey, you know, maybe this is
something you should take care of
before you are trying to get into
romantic relationship.
Maybe this is something you should
go work on and then,
you know, circle back around to the
dating apps.
OK, especially if they're telling you
that they have a chronic ongoing
problem that's not under control.
It's one thing to have a past
in any area, any addiction,
you have a past.
But now through self-control,
through boundaries, through
accountability, you have it under
control. Do you guys see the
difference between those two things?
If you're going to judge people based
on something that they used to do,
then you're going to be hard
pressed to find someone who doesn't
have something in their past that
makes you uncomfortable.
As long as it's in their past,
though, they've overcome it.
They're an overcomer.
But if someone is currently
struggling with some type of
addiction, porn included,
then that means that they need to
focus on.
You know, on what they need to do
to get that in control before they
focus on relationship.
But if you are in
a level three exclusive relationship
with someone and you find
out something about them that is
disheartening, no matter what it is,
then it at least deserves a
face-to-face conversation.
OK, in that
face-to-face conversation, if
you do not like the answers
that they have to your questions
about when was the last time you
did this, how often do you do it,
what kind of accountability you're
looking into, you know, kind of
thing. If you're asking questions
and they either don't want to answer
or their answers are
not, you know,
hopeful as far as them really
getting this under control, then you
do have the right to
break up with them.
And let them know that this isn't
something that you can either
walk through them with or be
supportive of.
OK, but
once again, if you if you are this
man's girlfriend, then you
definitely you definitely
should have a face-to-face
conversation about what's happened
here.
Now.
If you weren't waiting for
a scripture, if you guys weren't
texting scriptures to each other and
then all of a sudden, you know, he's
texting with you and then boom, you
get a picture of a half naked woman
and then he says, oops, sorry.
Sometimes that can be a bait.
Right.
What does that mean? That means
someone accidentally sends you
something to see what your reaction
to it will be.
Right. To see whether or not
right. To see whether or not
your reaction is going to be
favorable or not favorable,
to see whether or not, you know,
you're cool with it or not
cool with it or even open
possibly to some sort of,
you know, exchange
that is sexually charged with
them in that moment.
Now that that door has been opened,
it doesn't sound like that happened
here. It sound sounds more
like you were God defended with
you're supposed to get a scripture
and instead you get a risque
picture. And when you say a risque
picture, I can only imagine in my
own mind what it is.
To me, risque is.
Probably not the same definition as
some of.
you would have, depending on, you know, what kind of background you come from.
Some of you risk, a would be just someone, you know, in hot pants or
someone in short shorts or something like that, you know, for me,
risk is quite a bit more than that.
And so when you say that, it's hard for me to know exactly what you're talking
about, but once again, he's admitted that he has some kind of problem and you need
to have a full conversation about at what level that's at, and then you need to make
a, you know, a wise decision about, um, ending the relationship if that's what
needs to happen.
Okay.
You have a couple of people with their hands raised out and if you saw them or
not, you have Jennifer cook, Julie K and Rhonda Mayberry.
Okay.
So whoever's first Rhonda,
you're muted Rhonda.
There we go.
Okay. Sorry.
Um, okay.
So I just had, um, an online situation where, um, the guy like was really, really
pressuring me to give me, to give him my phone number.
And I was not, I just felt like something like a catch.
And I was like, um, I'm just not ready for that.
And then he really got aggressive after that and was like, Oh, I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to do that.
Like passive aggressive.
And then was like, if you really want to know about me, um, I was raped when I was
13 and then he like went into this whole big thing.
And I was like, maybe you need to talk to somebody like how I didn't know really
how to, how to respond to that.
And I didn't know if, not that this is going to happen ever again, but how would,
how would we move forward in something like that?
Like when something like that happens,
is this in person or online?
Where are you at during this?
It was online on an app.
Okay.
So, yeah.
Um, so obviously you got, you're not someone's counselor ladies.
If you know, someone overshare something super personal and traumatic
like that, um, you know, I don't want you to feel like you have to go into
fixed mode.
I don't want you to feel like you have to, uh, you know, now befriend this
person or give them your phone number.
Cause you feel bad for them, you know, and you know, no.
This person's obviously not healthy.
And if what they're saying is true about themselves and you can see why
they're not healthy because they've had this massive trauma.
But once again, you know, you're not someone's counselor, you're not someone's
And, you know, you can point them to, Hey, you know, better help.com.
There's coaching and counseling there.
You know, I really wish you well, I'm really sorry that happened to you.
Um, and you know, I don't feel comfortable giving you my phone number.
I don't really think that we're a match and you guys, you can't
worry about what happens next.
Okay.
We're not giving out pity dates and gentlemen that goes for you as well.
You know, believe it or not, this is how some really destructive and
abusive relationships start where you meet someone and then they share
something completely inappropriate with you as a complete stranger.
It's something traumatic.
And then they invite you into a trauma bond with them.
And so now you feel bad for them.
Now you're trying to save them.
Now you don't want to cut them off because you don't want to be the next
person that's hurt them in their lives.
And you're like, Oh, well, I would never do that.
Well, there are personalities that would do that.
And guess what?
They are looking for those personalities.
They're looking for the personality of the person that cannot not feed
the stray cat that comes on the porch.
Get overly attached to, you know, the poor little chipmunk that
almost drowned in your birdbath.
And so now you have a chipmunk living in your house, you know, for those of
you that have that personality where you just have to save every hurting
thing that comes across your path.
You're going to get yourself in trouble.
You are because guess what?
Hurting people, hurt people.
And if you're a collector of hurting people without boundaries, then the
chances of you getting abused are exponentially increasing.
So bless them and block them and send them on their way.
You don't gotta save them.
You're not their savior.
Cool?
Rhonda, I gave you full permission.
You don't gotta give out your phone number.
If you have a check in your spirit,
you don't have peace about it.
You don't give out your contact
and you don't have to continue in a conversation
that makes you feel uncomfortable,
even if someone is sharing something vulnerable
or traumatic that happened to them.
Cool?
Yeah, thank you.
I just, it was so aggressive.
And then like, I felt bad,
but I didn't really know how to like,
I didn't know of betterhelp.com.
I didn't know of like anything that I could like give to him
and I was like, maybe you need to talk to a counselor.
Like I didn't even know how to like respond to it.
And I just felt like really, oh, I don't know.
Yeah, well, that's how you respond.
Thank you.
And you guys, that's a good place to send people.
And then not just end the conversation on a dating app,
but then unmatched with them, okay?
Betterhelp.com, bye.
Because people can find any type of therapist
they want at betterhelp.com,
including Christian therapists, non-Christian therapists,
all the things.
Okay, so thank you, Rhonda, for your question.
It's a very important question for the whole community.
Guys, bleeding hearts get traumatized.
So don't be a bleeding heart.
Do not.
Do not be a bleeding heart.
Okay, Julie, you're up.
Hi, Jackie.
Hi.
Yeah, so I'm just wondering, I'm good.
Thanks.
I'm just wondering about,
I've been on dates for since the end of May with this guy,
probably about 14 dates.
And I just don't know if things are going anywhere.
It's just seems to kind of-
Well, let me ask you a question.
How did you make it 14 dates in
and you don't know what's going on in the situation?
How'd that happen?
I don't know.
I like him and I just kept going on dates.
I like to be around him.
But wait, he's asking you on these dates, right?
Yes.
Okay, and when was the last one?
Saturday.
Okay, and when's the next one scheduled?
He just asked me for this Saturday again.
Okay, so is it possible that he thinks that he's dating you?
Oh yeah, for sure.
Okay.
Okay, so he thinks he's dating you.
Ladies, this is really important for you guys to know.
A lot of times women,
especially are waiting for like a definition of relationship.
In fact, we joke about it in the Christian circles
of the DTR, the define the relationship moment,
where someone officially asks you to be their girlfriend,
go steady, gives you their letter jacket.
That's not the way a lot of men roll nowadays.
They continue to ask you out and it's kind of an unspoken,
doesn't even occur to them that you don't know
that you're dating them.
That you don't know that they're interested
and that you're dating them.
I can't tell you how many success stories
we've had in this community
where the woman has come on love seats
and she's been like,
I don't know if he wants to be my boyfriend
or I don't know, but they're continuously dating.
And so we've been like,
hey, it sounds like he thinks that you're his girlfriend.
And so it would be okay for you, Julie,
14 dates in, 15, the 15th date already being scheduled
for you to say, hey, Joe,
I'm really enjoying getting to know you.
And it seems like we're dating.
Is that what you think too?
Yeah, so like a couple of dates ago,
I did have that conversation.
I said, can we talk about our relationship
and if we're exclusive?
And he said, he's like, yeah, sure.
He kind of was like, well, what are you wanting?
And he was really excited.
I think he thought I was gonna be like,
hey, do you wanna like make it exclusive?
And I was like, well, I like when the man leads
and I kind of was just like,
I was like, I'm not really talking to anyone.
And he's like, I'm not really talking to anyone seriously,
which I think he is chatting with people,
but I think he's honest.
It's not like serious or anything.
And I'm not really talking to anyone.
And so we left it at that.
And I felt bad after that.
This was a few weeks ago because I'm like,
am I really not allowed to talk to anyone?
Because I gave him that impression.
And then, so then the following week,
a couple weeks ago, I said, I want some clarity on this.
said is, like, can we talk about this? Is it exclusive? And he's
like, he's like, well, he said, Well, would it make you feel
better if it was exclusive? And just the phrasing of that I was
just like, actually, no, I'm like, I'm not sure enough about
things to have to define it as exclusive. I'm like, I'd like to
just keep it open. And I'm like, Are you willing to do you want
to keep seeing me? He said, Yeah. And he's even like, like,
we've even talked about, like the future, like moving in, he,
he has, like, property that he bought, he's building a house.
And but he does live with his parents. And he just told me
that his parents are overbearing, which I need more
clarity on that. But like, so we've talked about that, because
he's not, he's not willing to move, he's got his whole life
set. So he's looking for someone to move into his life, which is
a little bit. I don't know, like, I feel a certain way about
that. Because I've, I know, you have to compromise in marriage,
but like, I just feel like he I'd, I'd be moving more for him
than he would move for me. You know,
what are you saying? Are you saying this is a long distance
relationship?
Um, it's he lives an hour and 20 minutes away.
Okay. And he lives with his parents because he's building a
house. Mm hmm. Okay. Right. And how old is he?
He's 43. He's about to be 44. And I'm, I'm going to be 40.
Okay, and he is divorced.
No, no, never. He's only had one girlfriend his entire life.
Okay, so alright, so important, important information, you guys
that we're learning here about him. He's not very experienced
in in this. He's only had one girlfriend, who knows how long
that lasted for, but he only had has had one girlfriend. So not
not not a man about town. Okay, just one. Okay. And he is
living with his parents while he builds a house. Now I'm sure
that as a 43 year old man or woman, if you had to move back
in with your parents, while you're building a house, they
would seem overbearing. Because when we're 43, we're used to
being on our own, we're not used to living with our parents. And
so, you know, our parents have their own lives, they have their
own rules. I mean, if he's 43, that means his parents are
probably in their 60s, at least. And, of course, they have their
own lives and their own rules and their own ways of doing
things. And so for him, you know, a man that's 43 years old
is having to live with his parents, I'm sure that that
would seem very overbearing, no matter what. Okay. If I had to
move back in with my parents, I definitely would feel some kind
of way about that. Okay, he's only that. That all being said,
I want to know what your question is. Because you just
said that you told this man before your 15th date that you
don't want to be exclusive. So what's your question? You just
told him you don't want to be exclusive. Are you kissing this
guy? You hold their hands? Are you romantic? No, that's the
thing. Like, I don't I don't feel I don't feel the love from
him. He, like, we had a very small kiss the last date for the
first time. We held hands very briefly to very recently. So and
I actually like, just tonight, I did notice on our phone call,
he was a lot more complimentary towards me. And I think it has
to do with me meeting his family, and they liked me. But
how many boyfriends have you had?
Serious ones, probably about three.
Serious, like define serious. How long did you date those guys
for? Like over a year. Okay, three boyfriends that you had
for over a year. Did never made it to marrying any of them. You
never been married. Is that right? That's right. Okay. All
right. So both of you seem to have a watermark that you can't
get past. Right? And there's probably good reasons for that.
Probably reasons that you talk yourself out of things, because
everyone needs to hear this, you know, relationship. If it
doesn't take off, you know, zero to 60 miles an hour or zero to
100 miles an hour at the beginning, it does not mean that
it's not going somewhere. It just means that you got to be
patient as people get comfortable. There's fear of
rejection involved in relationships, especially when we
get to the ages of 40 and 43, never been married, and not a
whole lot of relationship equity in your past, especially in his
past. Okay. And so if this guy has attributes that you find
attractive, and you're enjoying getting to know him, get
him time to warm up. It sounds like he's more of a confection oven and less of a microwave.
It also sounds like he really likes you. And which is evident by him asking you out 15 times.
Okay. And so if there's anything that you're enjoying about getting to know him,
I would continue to get to know him, continue to give him encouragement. Cause it sounds like he
needs some, it sounds like he might be dealing with some fear of rejection and see what happens.
Okay. It doesn't mean you need to be exclusive. It doesn't mean you need to stop talking to
anybody else or leaving the door open for another possibility. But at the same time,
I wouldn't cut this off. It sounds like there's some real potential here.
If you give it a chance. And then you guys, what she was saying about it, he, it sounds like he
wants someone to like fold into his life and his plans and all that you guys, that kind of stuff
can change as we get to know someone she's she's been on. Yes. Almost 15 days. This guy lives an
hour and a half away from her. Um, this is, this is something that when people fall in love and
they start to make a real decision towards being with you, these are things that couldn't be
compromised on. Nobody is going to compromise on what it is that they've already had planned out
in their head with someone that they are not sold on being with all the time. People come
to me and say, well, should I date this guy because, or should I date this woman? Because
you know, in conversation, they kind of laid out their five-year plan. And that's not what I want
to do in the next five years. Okay. They laid out their five-year plan because they're single
and single people have to plan their lives because they don't know whether they're going to get
married or not. But as people start to fall in love plans can change. Now, the only thing that
is not true. And what I'm saying right now is if someone tells you, I do not want children,
I do not want children. Do not say, oh, they'll change their mind someday. Oh, they just don't
know how great children are. No. If you want children and someone tells you point blank at
the beginning of a relationship, I'm not open to children. I don't want children. Maybe they
already have children and they don't want any more children. Then that's going to be a deal
breaker. That's going to be a non-negotiable. Okay. It is. If you have children and you can't relocate
and someone tells you at the beginning of a relationship that they also cannot relocate
because they have children, they have shared parenting, they have aging parents that they
have to take care of, whatever the reason may be, that is a deal breaker. That's a non-negotiable.
But we're so attracted to each other. I don't care. It doesn't matter. You're setting yourself
up for heartbreak. You're setting yourself up for heartbreak because they've already told you
that this is something that they are not willing to change. And you're not going to abandon your
children to go be with them. And you certainly don't want them to abandon their children to
come be with you. And so that is something where it doesn't matter if you're compatible,
it doesn't matter if there's chemistry, you just have to move on. Okay.
But if a guy says, yeah, I'm building a house, you know, this guy has a plan. He's building a
house. He's doing these things, but you know what? That kind of stuff can shift and change
as you begin to fall more and more and more in love with each other. If that's what happens,
that stuff can shift and change. And you're really not going to know
what someone really wants out of life until you get to know them better. If you guys play a hundred
questions with people that you don't know really well, they're just going to tell you whatever they
think the answer is. And this is why I do not at all advocate you asking a whole bunch of deep
personal questions about people's future plans with people that you have not gotten to know yet.
Because they're bound to say something that you're just like, well, I don't want that.
Well, they may not want that either in five more months. And so why are you asking them all of
these deep, deep, crazy questions, just so you can find like the perfect compatible mate. Don't do
that. Let things unfold. Enjoy getting to know each other. Let things, you know, let things take
their course. Is that cool? Okay. Okay. Thank you. Yep. So Julie, that was actually, it was an
answer to your question, but it was just a lot of coaching around this because so many people will
cross someone off a list because you gave them an interrogation on your second date and they
didn't answer the questions, right? They didn't answer the questions completely compatible to all
the things that you think you want at this moment in your life.
This is why it's really important, friends,
that you find out what your non-negotiables from heaven are
and what are your deal breakers from heaven.
And if those things don't pop up in the first couple dates,
then everything else should be negotiable.
Cool?
Everything else should be negotiable.
Okay, Jennifer Cook.
Thanks.
I have a long-distance dating question.
I'm an avoidant and I'm in California
and I'm sick of being rejected by California men.
And I wished slash prayed that a Midwestern man
would reach out to me.
And like a day or two later,
a guy proactively reached out on an app to me
and he's about 10 minutes from where I grew up.
And this was the same night as the prophetic night
and Bethany encouraged me to walk through a door.
And so I did.
So thank you, Bethany.
And I've been chatting with this guy for about two weeks
and then exchanged numbers.
We took it offline.
And then he said that he wanted to come out to California
and visit me.
I already have a trip planned to Michigan in mid-October,
but he said he didn't want to wait.
And I know that in long-distance relationships,
you kind of have to move things faster,
but he's coming out this weekend.
And so it's two weeks before I'm gonna fly back there.
Anyway, we already had a date planned, a coffee date planned,
but now I'm just like really nervous
and we're in different seasons of life.
I've never been married, no kids.
And he has four kids.
And I just don't know how, I guess I'm just nervous.
And I don't know how, like where to take it.
It's not gonna be low stakes or is it high stakes?
It's just very different
since he's flying out to Orange County
and I feel bad because it's an expensive trip.
He's staying in a hotel, just very nervous.
Okay, so I appreciate that you're kind
and you're conscientious,
but did you force him to come out and visit you?
No.
Right.
Were you already going to where he is in two weeks?
Yeah. Right.
So this man is so excited about you
that he wants to come out and visit you beforehand.
And so best case scenario is that you guys hit it off
and there's in-person chemistry,
the same kind of chemistry
that you guys are having over technology.
And you have one date and then two weeks later
you get to hang out again, right?
The realistic scenario is,
is that you guys are gonna meet up
and there might be some chemistry,
but once again, you're strangers
and you gotta give yourself a chance
to get to know each other.
And you're gonna get a chance to get to know each other now
and then two weeks from then, right?
Because unless he shows up
and he's absolutely cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs,
you definitely should meet up with him in Michigan
in two weeks too,
regardless of how excited or amazing
this coffee date or this trip out is, okay?
Because you gotta give yourself a chance
to warm up to the idea.
Don't expect there to be visceral attraction.
If there is visceral attraction,
make sure that you got your boundaries up,
you're not slippery sloping, okay?
Make sure of that.
But definitely it's a yes until it's a no.
And then there's worst case scenarios,
he shows up and you're just like,
ew, ew, ew, now what do I do?
Well, you don't feel guilty number one
because you didn't ask him to come.
Low hanging fruit was that you were already going there.
So he came and guess what?
That's gonna be good for him because he stretched himself,
he went after what he wants
and even if it doesn't work out,
it's still gonna make him better for it
because it's very masculine to go after what you want.
It is, and we like that.
We like men that take the initiative,
but do not, once again, if it's average,
it doesn't mean you're not feeling fireworks,
maybe there's no sparks,
but you're also not feeling completely repulsed and scared.
You definitely wanna see him again in Michigan, okay?
Okay.
And it sounds like you guys have been FaceTiming
and talking enough that you know
that there's a decent amount of camaraderie
between the two of you, right?
Yes, yeah.
Okay, so do not feel bad about the money.
I will say this for all of you long distance hopefuls,
for those of you that think you might be dating someone
long distance or you think that might happen
or you're open to that, long distance is hard.
Long distance takes a lot of commitment and sacrifice.
And even if you're the woman,
you are going to be called upon
to financially contribute to long distance.
You are, because you both have to get skin in the game.
Now, not this first visit, this is all on him.
This is his idea and he's coming out there.
He could have easily waited until she got to Michigan.
But if they do decide to date after the Michigan trip,
then both of them are gonna have to figure out ways
to meet halfway, figure out ways to help each other,
house each other when they come to visit,
whether they stay with family or friends
or people from church or whatever,
they're gonna have to really work together
in order to see whether or not this can lead to marriage.
Cool?
All right, thank you.
Listen, we're excited for you.
You wanted a Midwest man and there you go.
All of you ladies in California that are just like her
and are sick and tired of like the California mindset.
I have one of my favorite students.
She is from California.
She's a California girl.
She's lived there all her life.
She was also sick and tired of that.
She thought there isn't one decent good man
left in California and guess what?
She's now engaged to be married to a man,
wait for it, from California, okay?
And so they do exist.
Don't give up on them.
But at the same time, Jennifer comes from the Midwest.
She wants a Midwest value guy
and we'll see what happens with this.
We're excited for you.
Jo, Anna, what do we got?
Hi, Jackie.
Is that right?
Hi.
Yeah, hi, I'm here.
Hi.
In your dating one-on-one,
you kind of say, oh, if you get too deep too soon,
you sometimes want to run from a perfectly good man.
And perhaps it's happened just because it's community-based
and I knew a lot about the guy before I even met him
about his past abusive marriage and all that.
He's currently doing the heart work himself, which is great.
But I found myself in exactly that place.
And I'm like, ah, this is all too intense.
And where to after the heart work?
I'm kind of gleaning, just go slow.
Even though he's super intentional and interested,
I'm a bit more, I don't know,
am I just compassionate for your story
or am I going for the qualities, orange flags?
I'm still figuring it all out.
And I'm feeling a bit pressured
by how intense the situation was so far
and how much interest he has,
even people around us having expectations.
So other than go slow, I guess.
Okay, so what you seem to be describing to me
is someone who has some anxious attachment style.
Yes, definitely.
So he's definitely really sure about you.
He's trying to lock it down.
He's trying to, but you're more, I'm not sure yet.
I need time to think about it.
So it is okay for you to put down a boundary.
And to let him know, hey, if this is true,
so I'm not putting words in your mouth,
but if this is true, you can say,
I'm enjoying getting to know you,
but you are going at a lot faster pace
than I'm comfortable with.
Right now, I wanna have a chance to get to know you.
So I'm okay with hanging out, going on these dates,
whatever it is that y'all are doing,
but I don't want to feel pressured or rushed
to know how I feel about you
until I know how I feel about the relationship.
Yes, thank you.
And do you think I should, yeah.
If he's not okay with that, then he's not your person.
Yeah, okay.
I think he will be, yeah.
Okay.
Do you think I should tell him about some concerns I have?
Or wait with it?
What are the concerns?
Tell us what they are.
Boundary issues.
I feel he's a very kind-hearted, servant-hearted person,
and sometimes I think to his own detriment,
and that just makes me a bit worried.
So you think he gets taken advantage of by other people?
Yeah.
Okay.
So if you're considering being his person, okay,
how many dates have y'all been on?
Five life dates, maybe 10 Zooms,
six weeks of getting to know.
How, are you long distance?
Two hours away by car, so not too bad, but still.
Okay, so it is, there is distance.
So five life dates and 10 Zooms.
Okay, and you say that he's pretty serious
about you already?
He showed great interest,
but again, he hasn't got much experience and all that.
Yeah, he's probably the first woman
that shows interest in him after his divorce.
Oh, how long has he been divorced?
And we have shared friends and all that too, so yeah.
How long has he been divorced?
I think about a year and a half or something.
Okay, and how long was he married?
20 years.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, all right.
So because you guys are friends,
would you qualify that, that you're friends?
Yeah.
Okay, because you're friends,
if you are going to give him constructive feedback
like that, like, hey, I'm concerned that, you know, you,
possibly your kindness might get you into a place
where you're being taken advantage of,
you need to find how to word that
in a way that is constructive.
In a way that doesn't seem like, you know,
because I don't think that you have enough deposit
in this relationship after five live dates and 10 Zooms
to really criticize or make it feel like it's criticism.
Okay, so there's not enough deposit
to make that type of withdrawal.
So if that is keeping you from being able to see him
as a potential partner,
because you don't wanna be with someone
with those attributes,
and you need to find a way to communicate that of,
hey, these are things that would keep me from going forward.
These are concerns that I have, you're super kind,
but I'd love to see the person that I'm gonna be with
have better boundaries in serving others
of, you know, not being taken advantage of,
or, and you have to be really careful with that
because you don't wanna give a promise of being together
by telling him what you wanna change
or what you would want him to change about himself.
Do you see what I'm saying?
So it's really, it's kind of muddy,
it's kind of muddy territory
because you're not really sure if you like him like that.
Yes.
So I guess keep slowly getting to know him
until such a time I can gently raise that concern.
That's right.
Is there any other concerns besides that one?
Not really.
Yeah. Okay.
I mean, different backgrounds and all that,
but nothing majorly.
He's actually a great guy, but yeah, that is just.
Okay, he sounds like a great guy,
and it sounds like you may be trying to find
something wrong with him.
Yep, I have considered that a lot.
So we have a classic anxious avoidant
type of dance going on here.
I do.
Okay, so maybe take a look at that.
All right, watch our session on anxiety,
relationship anxiety, anxious avoidant attachment,
secure attachment.
Take the quiz if you haven't,
see where you test out and understand that
no one's ever gonna be perfect.
And if that is the worst thing about this guy,
then that guy is pretty great.
Okay, so yeah, okay.
Thank you, Jackie.
Take it slow, keep getting to know him.
Allow yourself to get to know him.
That's important.
I wrote something down.
Oh, someone said, I thought I was your favorite.
If you guys know, I'll oftentimes say one of my favorites,
one of my favorite students or one of my favorite matches,
because I'm like, Jesus, you're all my favorite.
I have all the favorites.
And so for whoever said that,
I think it was Nora, little teacher's pet.
I think it was Nora that said that.
Okay.
All right.
Okay, you guys, we're right at our 90 minute mark.
We're a little bit over.
It's been fun tonight.
We're definitely gonna do,
if you see the October calendar,
I think you're gonna be excited.
We have a lot of fun things.
Do a little dating game for a little event
that we're gonna have.
Where's the information about anxiety in the test?
Bethany, where does our relationship anxiety
path session live?
It lives in phase three replays, right?
Well, so the phase three in the app,
you're gonna go to the training tab
for prior path sessions.
So training tab,
and then you're gonna click on the path area
and you'll just have to scroll and read.
We label them.
And so you'll look for the ones
that are anxious attachment,
or we also did levels of relationship.
That was really great.
That will help a lot of you as well.
Jackie did those,
but there's several other path sessions in there
for those that have just joined phase three
in the last few months,
you're gonna wanna check those out.
And the calendar should have gone up today as well.
Oh, good.
So go take a look at that,
get excited about that.
For those of you that are participating
in the affiliate program,
get your friends in.
October is gonna be a great month to add people in.
And for those of you that asked about the special,
I did run an inner circle special
for the people that follow me on Instagram.
There's like a little free inner circle group.
It is $97.
You cannot get your affiliate on that.
So if they sign up for the full 297 program,
you can get your affiliate pay out of $75.
If you direct them to that,
cause that's the only place that that's posted.
So if you direct them to.
my social media into that link that lives in that inner circle,
because I think it's only good through tomorrow.
If you direct them to that and they buy in at 97,
then you won't get any affiliate pay out on that. Okay. Um,
so don't do that. Use the regular link for the affiliate,
the two 97, it's still a really great bargain for what people get.
And it's great. All right. Uh, yes, you guys,
there was a game you said that was good for dates. Yes. It's called,
we're not strangers,
but you guys be careful with that. Cause once again,
if you ask people too deep of questions,
they're going to feel forced to answer.
And they may say something in passing that makes you cross them off the list
because you think that that's not compatible to what you want out of life.
And once again, people's plans change when they fall in love.
So unless someone is adamant about a non-negotiable or a deal breaker that they
have, in fact, you'd be better served to ask someone what's your non-negotiables
from heaven. What's your deal breakers from heaven?
Because if they're like, I don't want kids,
I'm not interested in this or interested in that.
And that is also a deal breaker for you. Then you can either invite them into
the community and introduce them to someone else that doesn't have those deal
breakers. Or you can say, bless you, but we're not a match.
Cool. All right. Had two great guys tonight. Please email us.
If you think that you are a match for Joshua or Steven,
put their name in the subject line.
So we know exactly what your email is about so that we can very quickly
go through those that come in. I have a feeling we're going to get a bunch.
And then in the body of your email,
if you haven't filled out your spirit mate match profile yet,
please give me at least one headshot without sunglasses,
one full body picture. Okay. And then a little bio about yourself,
but if you have filled out your spirit mate match profile,
all I need in the body of the email is the email that you used,
the name that you're under in spirit mate match. And that's it.
The email in your name. And I will look you up myself. Okay.
And make sure that you have added a picture to your profile. Yes.
It's not letting people add more than one picture.
I know we're trying to fix it. But in the meantime,
at least add one picture. Okay. Yes. So be a replay.
For those of you that said you could hardly hear, is that true?
Can't hardly hear. I feel like I'm talking loud.
I heard.
Okay. So that might be the volume on your device. Mel,
you maybe have to turn it up if that's the case. Um,
I'm trying to think of there any other, there's no other announcements.
I'll see you guys this weekend for what's going to be the start of a very
supernatural time together going into 5785 and all that
God has planned.
The replay from today's prayer this morning will be in your replays
and it will be labeled, um, with today's date. Okay. See you soon. Bye everyone.