WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.160 Today, we're talking about the power of reframing. 2 00:00:06.160 --> 00:00:12.860 This is a powerful personal tool but it's also a very powerful leadership tool. 3 00:00:12.860 --> 00:00:18.080 Reframing is like giving your brain a different way of thinking about something. 4 00:00:18.080 --> 00:00:23.520 You're literally interrupting an old way of thinking and introducing something new and 5 00:00:23.520 --> 00:00:25.400 something fresh. 6 00:00:25.400 --> 00:00:29.360 You're causing a pattern interrupt in your brain. 7 00:00:29.720 --> 00:00:34.960 The reason you need to do this is because your brain develops patterns based on previous 8 00:00:34.960 --> 00:00:37.360 ways of thinking and doing things. 9 00:00:37.360 --> 00:00:42.960 We now, through reframing, can interrupt that old way and introduce something new. 10 00:00:42.960 --> 00:00:50.040 Even in an MRI machine, reframing can be seen as different areas of the brain light up after 11 00:00:50.040 --> 00:00:53.280 somebody has reframed. 12 00:00:53.280 --> 00:00:56.000 Think of it like flipping a coin. 13 00:00:56.000 --> 00:00:59.120 You're literally flipping your point of view. 14 00:00:59.120 --> 00:01:01.720 You're looking at it from a different perspective. 15 00:01:01.720 --> 00:01:05.200 This creates new patterns in your mind. 16 00:01:05.200 --> 00:01:11.080 Now it's the one skill that if you develop this skill and make it part of your lifestyle 17 00:01:11.080 --> 00:01:17.080 can really change the way you work, the way you innovate and definitely the way you lead. 18 00:01:17.080 --> 00:01:19.920 You know, the more you do this, the easier it becomes. 19 00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:22.360 Your brain gets used to this exercise. 20 00:01:22.360 --> 00:01:25.920 It's like exercising a muscle in gym. 21 00:01:25.920 --> 00:01:27.400 Here's the bottom line. 22 00:01:27.440 --> 00:01:33.200 Did you know that you can flip any problem into a new possibility by disrupting the old 23 00:01:33.200 --> 00:01:34.600 ways of thinking? 24 00:01:34.600 --> 00:01:40.280 Well, to do this, I want to give three categories of examples. 25 00:01:40.280 --> 00:01:44.320 The first one is we're going to look at emotional reframing and then we're going to look at 26 00:01:44.320 --> 00:01:51.840 some problem reframing and then we're going to talk a little bit about relational reframing. 27 00:01:51.840 --> 00:01:54.960 I want to make this session really practical and to the point. 28 00:01:54.960 --> 00:01:59.360 I want to do this by just giving lots of examples. 29 00:01:59.360 --> 00:02:02.760 Starting with emotional reframing. 30 00:02:02.760 --> 00:02:06.200 Think for a minute that you are about to give a presentation. 31 00:02:06.200 --> 00:02:07.520 There's the podium. 32 00:02:07.520 --> 00:02:09.199 It's on a stage. 33 00:02:09.199 --> 00:02:11.920 There's 500 people in the room. 34 00:02:11.920 --> 00:02:13.680 You're about to walk onto the stage. 35 00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:18.720 You're in there behind the curtain and you feel your palms are sweaty, butterflies in 36 00:02:18.720 --> 00:02:19.720 your stomach. 37 00:02:19.720 --> 00:02:20.800 What is that? 38 00:02:20.800 --> 00:02:23.960 You could tell your brain, I am anxious. 39 00:02:23.960 --> 00:02:27.640 I am nervous, even a bit fearful. 40 00:02:27.640 --> 00:02:31.520 But you can also reframe that and tell your brain, I am excited. 41 00:02:31.520 --> 00:02:36.680 Your brain will literally believe you and therefore translate that the sweatiness in 42 00:02:36.680 --> 00:02:43.560 your hands, the butterflies in your stomach is you being excited about making your presentation. 43 00:02:43.560 --> 00:02:46.720 It's an incredibly powerful technique. 44 00:02:46.720 --> 00:02:50.320 Perhaps you're about to do something you just don't like doing. 45 00:02:50.440 --> 00:02:53.960 You could think in your brain, I'm dreading doing this. 46 00:02:53.960 --> 00:02:58.080 This comes from an old pattern because every time you've tackled this type of task, you've 47 00:02:58.080 --> 00:03:01.300 thought I don't like doing this. 48 00:03:01.300 --> 00:03:05.760 But you can reframe that and say, what if this can be an adventure? 49 00:03:05.760 --> 00:03:11.840 I am excited about doing this because I love adventure. 50 00:03:11.840 --> 00:03:15.720 Perhaps you get into the habit that every now and again your brain comes up with, this 51 00:03:15.720 --> 00:03:16.720 is so hard. 52 00:03:17.040 --> 00:03:22.280 Again, a pattern developed because every time you've tried this particular task, it has 53 00:03:22.280 --> 00:03:24.560 been difficult for you. 54 00:03:24.560 --> 00:03:28.680 But you can disrupt that pattern by asking, what if it's not? 55 00:03:28.680 --> 00:03:30.120 What if it's not hard? 56 00:03:30.120 --> 00:03:35.040 What if I can become good at this if I keep at it? 57 00:03:35.040 --> 00:03:39.000 Or maybe you have the thought of, I'm never going to get this. 58 00:03:39.000 --> 00:03:43.040 I've done this again and again and again, I just don't get it. 59 00:03:43.040 --> 00:03:45.280 Perhaps you're studying for something. 60 00:03:45.280 --> 00:03:49.400 Perhaps you're learning a new technique or a new process. 61 00:03:49.400 --> 00:03:54.360 What if you reframed that old pattern interrupt and got your brain thinking about, I can learn 62 00:03:54.360 --> 00:03:56.800 anything if I'm patient with myself. 63 00:03:56.800 --> 00:04:01.120 Literally, I can learn anything if I'm patient with myself. 64 00:04:01.120 --> 00:04:04.840 Now it's an issue of time, not an issue of intelligence. 65 00:04:04.840 --> 00:04:10.600 You've reframed it from an intelligence problem to a time problem. 66 00:04:10.600 --> 00:04:13.920 Perhaps you're thinking, I failed at that task. 67 00:04:14.040 --> 00:04:17.959 Maybe you did something and you just failed. 68 00:04:17.959 --> 00:04:19.000 You cannot fail. 69 00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:24.920 You could reframe this and say, I fail and when I fail, what happens is now we're taking 70 00:04:24.920 --> 00:04:29.840 an identity statement that I'm a failure or I'm a failure in that category. 71 00:04:29.840 --> 00:04:34.200 What if we reframed that as, I'm always learning so I can never fail. 72 00:04:34.200 --> 00:04:36.840 I can do better next time because I'm always learning. 73 00:04:36.840 --> 00:04:39.680 I'm always learning so I can never fail. 74 00:04:39.680 --> 00:04:41.960 You cannot fail if you're always learning. 75 00:04:41.960 --> 00:04:48.680 Which reminds me of a story of a young man that cost a company $10 million dollars in 76 00:04:48.680 --> 00:04:49.680 a mistake that he made. 77 00:04:49.680 --> 00:04:51.240 I mean, he failed spectacularly. 78 00:04:51.240 --> 00:04:54.800 It's a big company, tens of thousands of employees. 79 00:04:54.800 --> 00:04:57.680 He gets called to the CEO's office. 80 00:04:57.680 --> 00:05:00.000 While on the way to the CEO's office, you can 81 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:02.040 Imagine the thoughts going through his mind. 82 00:05:02.040 --> 00:05:03.800 I am so fired. 83 00:05:03.800 --> 00:05:07.200 In fact, it's so bad, the HR is not firing me. 84 00:05:07.200 --> 00:05:10.520 The CEO himself is gonna fire me. 85 00:05:10.520 --> 00:05:14.880 So he walks into the meeting and says to the CEO, 86 00:05:14.880 --> 00:05:16.960 before you say anything, I just want you to know 87 00:05:16.960 --> 00:05:19.760 I understand, you know, you gotta let me go. 88 00:05:19.760 --> 00:05:22.320 This was a catastrophic failure on my part. 89 00:05:22.320 --> 00:05:25.120 Cost the company $10 million. 90 00:05:26.360 --> 00:05:27.960 And the CEO looks at him and says, 91 00:05:27.960 --> 00:05:30.040 what do you mean let you go? 92 00:05:30.040 --> 00:05:33.800 We just invested $10 million in your learning. 93 00:05:33.800 --> 00:05:35.880 You aren't going anywhere. 94 00:05:35.880 --> 00:05:38.640 You see, that CEO reframed and didn't look at it 95 00:05:38.640 --> 00:05:40.540 as a failure, but as learning, 96 00:05:40.540 --> 00:05:43.960 as an investment in his learning. 97 00:05:43.960 --> 00:05:45.880 All right, so that was all under the subject. 98 00:05:45.880 --> 00:05:49.620 Quick example of emotional reframing. 99 00:05:49.620 --> 00:05:51.520 Let's go to the second category. 100 00:05:51.520 --> 00:05:53.460 Problem reframing. 101 00:05:53.460 --> 00:05:56.000 This could be like in product development 102 00:05:56.040 --> 00:05:59.080 and trying to solve, you know, come up with new solutions 103 00:05:59.080 --> 00:06:01.860 and solve problems in your business. 104 00:06:01.860 --> 00:06:06.000 One reframing is what if we reframe an engineering problem 105 00:06:06.000 --> 00:06:08.240 into a marketing problem? 106 00:06:08.240 --> 00:06:11.920 You know, I love the story of a train, 107 00:06:11.920 --> 00:06:15.600 the Euro, you know, the Euro that connects the, 108 00:06:15.600 --> 00:06:17.560 it connects England to France. 109 00:06:17.560 --> 00:06:20.760 And, you know, the big question there was, 110 00:06:20.760 --> 00:06:22.280 can we make the train faster? 111 00:06:22.280 --> 00:06:24.860 It takes too long for the trip. 112 00:06:24.900 --> 00:06:27.300 Well, that as an engineering problem 113 00:06:27.300 --> 00:06:30.140 would be incredibly complex and expensive 114 00:06:30.140 --> 00:06:32.260 and cost maybe $10 billion. 115 00:06:32.260 --> 00:06:35.860 A very, very expensive problem and challenge indeed. 116 00:06:36.780 --> 00:06:41.100 But what if we reframe it as a people problem? 117 00:06:41.100 --> 00:06:43.620 What if we make the trip more fun, 118 00:06:43.620 --> 00:06:47.140 like adding Wi-Fi or giving, serving free wine 119 00:06:47.140 --> 00:06:50.780 and making the entire experience much more fun? 120 00:06:50.780 --> 00:06:53.040 Suddenly it doesn't feel so long. 121 00:06:53.880 --> 00:06:57.240 You know, one of the great examples of this 122 00:06:57.240 --> 00:07:00.360 is if you think about, you know, the anxiety 123 00:07:00.360 --> 00:07:03.360 or the stress of when you order a taxi. 124 00:07:03.360 --> 00:07:06.240 And you order the taxi and you wait for it to come. 125 00:07:06.240 --> 00:07:08.280 You know, are they gonna come? 126 00:07:08.280 --> 00:07:09.580 Did they go to the right place? 127 00:07:09.580 --> 00:07:10.720 Did they get the right time? 128 00:07:10.720 --> 00:07:13.060 Do I need to go out there and stand out in the rain 129 00:07:13.060 --> 00:07:14.640 because, you know, maybe they missed us? 130 00:07:14.640 --> 00:07:16.000 Maybe they parked around the corner. 131 00:07:16.000 --> 00:07:18.080 There's a lot of anxiety about this. 132 00:07:18.080 --> 00:07:20.380 And so the engineering problem might be, 133 00:07:20.380 --> 00:07:22.800 or solution might be, well, let's get the taxi there 134 00:07:23.560 --> 00:07:24.400 a little bit faster. 135 00:07:24.400 --> 00:07:27.040 And that could involve a lot of software and upgrades 136 00:07:27.040 --> 00:07:30.320 and be a pretty expensive thing to scale. 137 00:07:30.320 --> 00:07:32.880 But if we flip the problem to, 138 00:07:32.880 --> 00:07:35.780 oh, it's an emotional or people problem, 139 00:07:35.780 --> 00:07:39.240 then you come up with a genius idea like the Uber map, 140 00:07:39.240 --> 00:07:42.320 where you can literally see on your app, 141 00:07:42.320 --> 00:07:46.480 you can see exactly where your ride is 142 00:07:46.480 --> 00:07:49.320 and how long it'll be till you get there. 143 00:07:49.320 --> 00:07:51.480 This removes the anxiety out of the problem 144 00:07:51.480 --> 00:07:54.220 and certainly a lot cheaper to implement. 145 00:07:55.200 --> 00:07:57.440 You know, there's a famous example of, 146 00:07:57.440 --> 00:07:58.880 there was this group of elevators 147 00:07:58.880 --> 00:08:02.560 in a big, very tall business block. 148 00:08:02.560 --> 00:08:06.600 And in this, you know, business office block, 149 00:08:06.600 --> 00:08:08.560 you know, 25 floors, 150 00:08:08.560 --> 00:08:10.480 there just didn't seem to be enough elevators. 151 00:08:10.480 --> 00:08:12.820 And everybody in the building complained 152 00:08:12.820 --> 00:08:15.160 that the elevators took too long. 153 00:08:15.160 --> 00:08:17.640 Then they consulted a psychologist who said, 154 00:08:17.640 --> 00:08:20.520 well, why don't you just put a full length mirror 155 00:08:20.520 --> 00:08:24.400 on each side of the door and see what that does. 156 00:08:24.400 --> 00:08:27.100 And the complaints dropped to almost zero. 157 00:08:27.100 --> 00:08:27.940 You know why? 158 00:08:27.940 --> 00:08:29.600 Because now people could use the mirror, 159 00:08:29.600 --> 00:08:30.660 do a little bit of grooming, 160 00:08:30.660 --> 00:08:33.120 check how they did, is my hair okay? 161 00:08:33.120 --> 00:08:34.559 And we changed an engineer, 162 00:08:34.559 --> 00:08:38.320 we literally reframed an engineering problem 163 00:08:38.320 --> 00:08:41.320 into a people problem or a marketing problem. 164 00:08:41.320 --> 00:08:44.100 And so this leads us in an engineering 165 00:08:44.100 --> 00:08:46.240 and in a problem solving world, 166 00:08:46.240 --> 00:08:50.520 especially when we're dealing with products and services, 167 00:08:50.520 --> 00:08:54.400 it's very easy to create an assumption 168 00:08:54.400 --> 00:08:56.240 when you first create the product 169 00:08:56.240 --> 00:08:58.980 and then forget to challenge that assumption. 170 00:08:58.980 --> 00:09:01.680 Does this still need to be there? 171 00:09:01.680 --> 00:09:05.200 So the question is, can we reframe the assumption? 172 00:09:06.440 --> 00:09:09.360 You know, my wife tells a great story about a young lady 173 00:09:09.360 --> 00:09:14.000 who's learning to do the turkey at Thanksgiving. 174 00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:15.880 And she's watching her mother 175 00:09:16.520 --> 00:09:17.560 and the mother takes a piece of the turkey 176 00:09:17.560 --> 00:09:18.600 and just cuts it off. 177 00:09:18.600 --> 00:09:20.120 I mean, just a whole section of the turkey 178 00:09:20.120 --> 00:09:22.800 just gets literally cut off. 179 00:09:22.800 --> 00:09:26.000 And she puts it in the pan and she says to her mom, 180 00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:28.600 mom, why are you cutting a piece of the turkey? 181 00:09:28.600 --> 00:09:31.520 She said, well, that's the way my mother taught me. 182 00:09:31.520 --> 00:09:35.720 And so she said, well, go and ask grandma why she does this. 183 00:09:35.720 --> 00:09:38.360 She says, grandma, why do you cut off a piece of the turkey? 184 00:09:38.360 --> 00:09:40.200 Mom says, that's the way you taught her. 185 00:09:40.200 --> 00:09:41.800 She said, yeah, well, I cut a piece of the turkey 186 00:09:41.800 --> 00:09:43.880 because I had a small pan. 187 00:09:43.880 --> 00:09:48.360 So, you know, it's good for us to reframe the assumption. 188 00:09:48.360 --> 00:09:51.440 What assumption about this problem are we making 189 00:09:51.440 --> 00:09:55.040 and assuming that because it held previously, 190 00:09:55.040 --> 00:09:56.280 now it still holds now? 191 00:09:56.280 --> 00:10:00.080 You see, here is a powerful way to do a pattern interrupt. 192 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:05.120 Assumptions create a set of patterns and and from those assumptions we build 193 00:10:05.120 --> 00:10:11.720 solutions. Okay let's go to relational reframing. Maybe you work with someone or 194 00:10:11.720 --> 00:10:17.400 in a relationship with someone and you say that person really annoys me 195 00:10:17.400 --> 00:10:21.720 as opposed to reframing it to that person makes me grow. I have to practice 196 00:10:21.720 --> 00:10:27.840 patience, I have to be calm, you know so I have to exercise more self-control. Well 197 00:10:27.840 --> 00:10:32.360 what are those things doing for you? They're making you grow as a person. So 198 00:10:32.360 --> 00:10:36.680 in a way they're kind of a gift. They you know they are really patience growers 199 00:10:36.680 --> 00:10:42.680 or my boss really doesn't like me. It's always on my case. You could flip that 200 00:10:42.680 --> 00:10:49.360 and say my boss helps me grow faster. I have to be on my game. You know another 201 00:10:49.360 --> 00:10:53.760 way you might think of it as you know that team member is always negative. When 202 00:10:53.760 --> 00:10:57.360 we come up with some new thing they always the first ones to say what can go 203 00:10:57.360 --> 00:11:02.480 wrong. Why not reframe that to that team member stops us from doing dumb things 204 00:11:02.480 --> 00:11:07.400 and making mistakes. You know I was thinking about this and I want to make 205 00:11:07.400 --> 00:11:10.960 this super practical. So I want to end with a story that comes from my 206 00:11:10.960 --> 00:11:16.120 business partner Graham and and I want to talk about the concept of reframe 207 00:11:16.120 --> 00:11:21.640 stacking. Not only can we reframe a thing personally but as a leader we can 208 00:11:21.640 --> 00:11:26.520 reframe something for someone else and help them move to an entirely different 209 00:11:26.720 --> 00:11:31.840 identity even. So I want to tell you a story about Graham talking to a woman at 210 00:11:31.840 --> 00:11:37.160 a dinner party and she just got a new job. In fact her dream job and here's how 211 00:11:37.160 --> 00:11:43.400 the conversation went. So Graham says so you must be delighted right? Woman 212 00:11:43.400 --> 00:11:49.320 actually I'm extremely fearful. I mean I feel anxious and I feel sick in my 213 00:11:49.320 --> 00:11:56.800 stomach. I'm really worried. What if I'm not good enough? Graham what if you're 214 00:11:56.800 --> 00:12:03.040 not? What if you're not extremely fearful but just apprehensive? I mean that's 215 00:12:03.040 --> 00:12:09.440 normal right? New job, new people, new environment. She says yeah no I can I can 216 00:12:09.440 --> 00:12:13.840 see that. Thank you. Yeah that's helpful. I I can see it would be normal to be 217 00:12:13.840 --> 00:12:16.640 apprehensive. I'm glad I talked to you about it. Thank you. 218 00:12:16.640 --> 00:12:24.000 Graham so you're apprehensive then? What if you're not? What if you're a little 219 00:12:24.000 --> 00:12:31.840 apprehensive but you're also intrigued? What do you mean? She says you know you 220 00:12:31.840 --> 00:12:37.200 said it's a great company right and they're good at finding great people so 221 00:12:37.200 --> 00:12:41.200 they must have seen something in you and been excited about you joining their 222 00:12:41.200 --> 00:12:47.360 team. So what if you're only a little apprehensive but you're really quite 223 00:12:47.360 --> 00:12:53.320 intrigued about your new job? She says they are a great company. They're number 224 00:12:53.320 --> 00:12:58.240 one in their field and they wouldn't hire an idiot so you know yeah I'm a 225 00:12:58.240 --> 00:13:02.920 little apprehensive but I can see that a little apprehension is okay but I am 226 00:13:02.920 --> 00:13:10.120 really intrigued now. Graham so you're a little apprehensive but mostly intrigued? 227 00:13:10.120 --> 00:13:17.920 Yeah I think so. She says. What if you're not? What if you are mildly nervous but 228 00:13:17.920 --> 00:13:23.080 really excited? I mean it is your dream job. Your entire career has led to this 229 00:13:23.080 --> 00:13:29.080 job so you know you could give yourself permission to be excited about it. Yeah 230 00:13:29.080 --> 00:13:35.000 this is amazing. I never think like this. I'm I'm so glad I talked to you. I see it. 231 00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:39.800 I get it. I get it. I'm mildly nervous but really excited. I 232 00:13:39.800 --> 00:13:45.160 cannot wait to start. Graham so you're mildly nervous but really excited? 233 00:13:45.160 --> 00:13:52.600 Mm-hmm. What if you're not? What if you're quietly confident and really joyful? She 234 00:13:52.600 --> 00:13:58.560 thought about it for quite a bit and then said yeah I like that. This is the 235 00:13:58.560 --> 00:14:05.360 new me. Quietly confident and joyful. Here's the bottom line. In 17 minutes 236 00:14:05.360 --> 00:14:12.160 Graham reframed her by changing her identity. She went from extremely 237 00:14:12.160 --> 00:14:17.200 fearful and being very anxious to someone who's quietly confident and 238 00:14:17.200 --> 00:14:23.120 joyful. Literally reframed her through a series of reframing. Therefore we call it 239 00:14:23.240 --> 00:14:29.000 reframe stacking to give her an incredible gift. An upgrade in how she 240 00:14:29.000 --> 00:14:34.640 thinks about herself. This is such a great gift that leaders can give. I 241 00:14:34.640 --> 00:14:39.740 mean give people a better identity so they can become an extraordinary person. 242 00:14:39.740 --> 00:14:43.840 Look reframe stacking doesn't all have to happen in one sitting like it did at 243 00:14:43.840 --> 00:14:50.040 the dinner party for Graham. It can be done over a year. Imagine how your team 244 00:14:50.200 --> 00:14:55.480 will love being around you. You know you can be the best leader in the world by 245 00:14:55.480 --> 00:15:01.960 being the person who's always upgrading people. Here's the secret. 246 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:03.320 Become powerful when you make others powerful. 247 00:15:03.320 --> 00:15:07.960 Reframing is a powerful tool to do just that, 248 00:15:07.960 --> 00:15:10.000 and it's a great way to live. 249 00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:11.560 Hope you enjoyed this training.