All right, welcome ladies, this is your Phase 2 live check-in at 1 o'clock Eastern Standard
Time, October 1st, 2024.
Super excited to be here with you ladies today.
I'm Carla Johnson, I'm one of your coaches here in Phase 2.
I am a success story that has come from Jackie's program.
I connected with her in the end of 2020 and went through this program for a couple years
before my spirit mate showed up at the end of 2022 and then we got married less than
a year later, so which we have just celebrated our one year anniversary.
So I have experienced this program and it's been where you all have been, okay?
So I'm here to help you out with the whole dating phase now that you are in Phase 2 and
you've been released to date, all right?
You're no longer on sabbatical from dating after Phase 1.
So do I have anybody new here, Karen?
Have you come to, are you new to Phase 2?
No, I'm actually, I thought I was in Phase 3.
Okay, well yep, this is Phase 2.
You can still hang with us.
Let me see here.
But I'm looking at my progress and it shows that I've, you know, I still haven't, although
I've done, you know, a lot of this, most of this, it shows that I haven't.
And I've marked, you know, after you get done watching, you know, watching, it marks, you
know, you can mark.
To mark it complete, yes.
Yes.
So if you're in the app, oops, ladies, do y'all see me?
My computer's doing something silly here.
No.
Yeah, I still see you.
I see you.
Sorry, I had a moment of panic there.
Yeah, so Karen, if you are in the app, when you, you may have access to Phase 2 and Phase
3.
But when you are clicking the events tab to click into the Zoom link, you just need to
make sure that you're in Phase 3.
So is that how you came into the call today?
Yeah, it looks like I'm in Phase 3, since Phase 3.
Well, no worries.
You're maybe, maybe it's a divine appointment.
Maybe there's just something you need to hear today.
But Kylie, she said that she's new.
So welcome, Kylie.
So great to have you.
Ladies, if you can, please go ahead and unmute, or no, not unmute, mute.
Sorry.
Mute.
And then go ahead and turn your cameras on if you can.
Okay.
It's just us ladies.
Usually this one o'clock call is a lot smaller.
Most people are at work.
So there's nothing, nothing to, you don't need to hide.
It's just us ladies.
All right.
So welcome, welcome, welcome.
So just a few housekeeping items that we like to go over each time that we log in,
because we always have just a round robin of just new people that come in.
So just remember, there's one video per week that you'll need to watch.
There's five videos total.
So there's the Lustre Accelerator, which is that first video that y'all should have watched prior.
And then there's the online dating 101, which we're going to discuss today.
And we have Divine Feminine, Online Dating, and Boundaries.
So those are typically about a little over an hour long.
So just make sure that you take notes, really just meditate on the content, you know,
see how you can apply what you're learning in that video and how you can apply it in your life,
here on the app.
Okay.
So again, like I said, if you are new to phase two, you have just been released to date.
All right.
So in your phase one, we asked you just to put it on pause while you went through some hard work.
And now you have the green light to go ahead and start dating.
So and if you watch that Love Story Accelerator video, Jackie gives you all a seven date challenge.
So what typically happens every time I get new people in here, you start freaking out about seven dates.
I just want to, you know, this is what I like to cover in housekeeping is don't sweat it.
You know, you don't have to, you're not going to end up finishing probably your seven dates by the time you get to phase three.
Okay.
Unless you are just like cranking up those dates, whatever.
You know, most.
Women typically don't finish within, you know, the four to five weeks. Okay, we typically
Say about three months to do okay
and then just don't play the comparison game when you are
Coming out of hiding and you're starting to date and you see all these women are getting dates and all these
Experiences and maybe you're just a little quick, you know, you know, you're a little slower to the punch. It's totally fine
Don't play the comparison game. Okay
Alright last next thing
So this has been super super important and I want to add some emphasis to this
Now that you are in phase two, it is so important that you show up here. Okay
It's easy to allow all of life's distractions to kind of get in the way
Especially when we're doing something that's going to be good for us and what God is wanting us to step into
It's just so easy to get distracted by all of the all the life things, right?
So I just can't stress enough is allow yourself time
to invest in yourself in this phase
Because what you put into this group is what you're going to get out of it
Okay, and I say that with a lot of experience. Okay. I was in this group for a couple years before my spirit mate came and
It tend to happen when I kind of isolated a little bit or fell back in
Being active in this group is when things kind of just got mucky
So do yourself a favor and show up. Okay, and so how did like, okay, so now you're like Carla
But how do I show up? What do you mean by that?
So first things first is just post and share in the app
And it could be about all different things
It can be about heart work stuff that you're still working through because let's face it ladies. You never graduate in heart work
There's always another layer of that onion to peel and as you step into dating
You're gonna find that there's just another layer of heart healing that can take place when you get out into the dating world
It can be about your dating situation. I actually
Really really stress the importance ladies that when you're out dating
You have to come share it with us in the app
All right, you have to allow us coaches to be able to help you see blind spots
I see it, you know on it on a rare occasion
Women in our community find themselves in relationships that haven't been communicating with us about what's happening how you met
You know giving us some details about the guys about the dates that you're going on
What's taking place on the date dates and then they get in so deep and then red flags start showing up
Okay, so the best way to circumvent all of that is just come to us and just give us updates about your dating life
Okay, we're here to help see help you see those blind spots
Other things that you can post about what you're learning and applying from the videos that you watch any breakthroughs that you're having
Anything you want to celebrate with us?
Questions that you have all sorts of things. Okay
Um
When you do post in the app, just be careful and mindful of the tab that you're clicking when you post
Especially the ask a coach tab. All right
So if it's specific to a coach needing to answer your question, then please make sure that you click that
Okay
because that's how we we
Really want to make sure that we're zoning and answering all your questions and nothing gets lost
So, please please please if you have a question specifically for us coaches click that ask the coach tab
also when you're creating posts do not link any other like influencers or websites or dating sites or
Sermons or all that kind of stuff. We just don't have the capacity to vet those and we want to make sure that we're
Aligning everything with what we teach here and last year single
Okay
If you do a video because some of you have or you might have seen some others do it
Please just try to keep your video under three minutes
The best way to do this is just to give yourself some bullet points before you start your video
Another way to show up in the community is actually engage and connect with one another
So if it's not under the ask a coach tab then reply to your sisters in the community
Lift them up be positive
Just don't coach or give advice or be negative
Okay
Super super super important and then come to as many of these live check-ins and prayer sessions as possible
Again, you're only in this session for four to five weeks
We understand some of you will be in here a little bit longer because life does happen and we completely understand it
But you shouldn't be in phase two for more than two or three months. Okay, so it's a short amount of time in phase two
So come to these live check-ins, they are much smaller and they are utilized and they're actually here for you.
It's for you to utilize and benefit from so that you can get some more detailed coaching,
especially as you enter into that dating world.
Okay, so those are ways that you can engage.
And then last housekeeping item is just navigating the app on your phone or on the desktop.
So just always make sure that you're checking the resource and the training tab and the replays.
Ladies, I can't stress enough how important it is to watch the replays if you can't make it.
Now, obviously, all you ladies are here, so you're getting it now.
But if there's for some reason that you can't make a session,
make sure that you put in your calendar time to set aside to watch the replays.
We cover lots of stuff here. We do a lot of additional coaching.
Some of your sisters will come with questions that maybe you're facing yourself or you will face or you have faced.
And so then you can hear us coaches talk about that as well.
Same thing with Supernatural Saturdays and prayer calls.
We do record Supernatural Saturday.
Those are super important to make sure that you're watching as well.
OK. Awesome. I see a few people on camera.
I know some of you are at work, but if you can come on camera, that would be great.
So, yes, Teresa, the evening one.
So tonight, instead of doing a phase two check in, you ladies are all invited to a sneak peek of phase three loveseat.
OK, so it's just a bigger part of our community.
It's going to have the men and the women, everyone that's in our community, with the exception of people that are in phase one.
OK, but it's where, you know, people can put themselves in the hot seat or loveseat with what we call and ask specific questions about what they're experiencing.
So it's kind of like what we do here at the end of the call, but you'll get a bigger community there.
So you can kind of see how that is navigated in phase three, because at some point in the next four to five weeks or, you know, at least no more than two months to three months, all you ladies are going to be in phase three.
So you get a little little taste of what that's about.
So that is happening tonight.
I believe Jackie is doing that one this evening.
Sometimes it's Jackie. I think sometimes it's Bethany.
But that you all are invited to.
So again, in your app, go into the events tab.
It's in that calendar.
You'll click where it will say loveseat there, and then it has all the information for the Zoom link.
OK.
All right.
So today we're going to go over the teaching from Dating 101.
I'm just going to go over some brief points here.
OK, so many of you, if you're not new here, you probably have already watched it.
Always really good to get some some info on it, because I get questions all the time in regards to dating, which is awesome.
And so we cover a lot of that in the Dating 101 video.
So I'm going to go ahead and unpack a little bit of what we see frequently here in phase two.
And that's the level one, two and three stage for dating relationship.
OK, so where Jackie describes that in that Dating 101 video.
So level one is just community.
That's all that is. It's in community.
So it's here, like in our last year, single community.
It's at church.
Maybe it's your community at work.
It's just anywhere that you are around people.
OK, that is even online.
So if you're online dating that pool of people that you see there, that's level one.
OK, when you're messaging people on your online dating site, that's a level one.
OK, so it's it's you know, it's not considered a level two dating relationship until you've had a video date or video chat or an in-person alone date.
OK, so even when you're out, maybe you go out to eat after church with a group of people.
And maybe you've invited a guy along just to, like, hang out or maybe he's invited you with a group of people.
That's still level one relationship.
You're in community with people.
OK, now, where many of you, once you all once once you've decided, once you've gotten the green light, you start dating.
OK, now everyone is on their own pace and own path.
We get ladies that come in here and they are ready to, like, dive off the high dive and like, yes, show me.
me the men line up the dates let's go let's do this I'm ready okay I wasn't one of those girls
at all I was like I don't know if I'm ready yet so I had to take a little more time to process
and like you know do some stuff in me and then really have relationship with the lord before I
felt like I had the green light to do that um so if if that's you that's totally fine as well
but when you do decide that all right I'm gonna go have an in-person date or I'm gonna do a video
chat this is what we would call level two okay and so this level two is just hey I I'm interested
in getting to know you better so the best way that I can describe it and helps take some of
the pressure off is to keep in mind you do this with girlfriends too when you're hanging out with
a group of people or a group of ladies maybe you're in a small group at church and you're
new or something like that or there's this new group of women you're gonna have conversation
with people and there's gonna be maybe be a woman or two that might stand out to you and you're
you're gonna be like man I really want to get to know them better or they might come up to you be
like hey let's go grab coffee you know it's really nice to meet you I'd like to get to know
a little bit more about you that's all phase two is is you're just getting to know people on a more
personal level okay so when you do step into dating is when you're dating men I can't stress
enough just if you go in with it with the attitude is you're just getting to know somebody new
and you're not looking for all of the romance it will take the pressure completely off so in level
two dating you're going to still talk about your life okay we always talk about you know not deep
diving don't ask all those serious questions it doesn't mean that you can't talk about your life
you're just going to need to learn how to talk about it at high level version okay it's going
to be more personal pieces as you learn a little bit more about them but you're not going to go get
in the weeds with them okay so what that means is you're not going in the x files you're not you
know sitting here having the sex talk you're not going to have all those conversations there you
literally are getting to know like how how do they describe themselves what things do they like to do
what's important in their life how do they show up in their life what's taking up space in their life
what are they looking forward to the very like you know they're still talking about their life
but they're you're not getting in the weeds with them okay so we also encourage in level two just
resist romance at this level because you are just discovery dating and you're going to be doing it
with more than one one person all right i know this is sometimes that like people are like but
i can't date more than one person like that was that for me that was one of the things i had to
wrap my head around i was like if i'm dating someone i'm not dating anybody else but i didn't
even know the person so how why was i shutting the door on getting to know more people when i really
wasn't sure about this person and then what ended up happening is i got so involved with one person
that i was seeing all of like i wasn't seeing all the red flags so that's why we say level two
pace it keep it slow get to know them do you enjoy being around them do they make you laugh
do you have some things in common do you are you interested in learning more about some things that
they do is it enjoyable okay so that's like usually like a couple dates okay like you're
going to start getting to know them at that level all right then level three that's that
exclusivity all right that's where we do honestly recommend at least a month if not two of discovering
dating with a person before you step into this step into a level three exclusive relationship
even if it's like super magical okay um just pace yourself there um use use that time in
phase two to get to know someone before you jump into that romance level in that deeper relationship
so um phase three or not phase three excuse me level three we also ask and encourage you ladies
to allow the men to lead this conversation it's we call it the dtr the define the relationship
conversation and um in that process like you're going to continue to get to know them at a deeper
level and again but just continue to pace yourself we do also encourage y'all to resist too much
physical intimacy okay
Okay, because that's where things can get people get to that level three and then all of a sudden the boundaries are coming down and people are finding themselves in situations that they can't backpedal from.
Okay, so those are the three levels, which again, this is all in the dating one on one video. So you can always go back and replay.
All right. Now, you'll also hear a say, like, it's a yes until it's a no. This is something that Jackie has been telling us for years. It's a yes until it's a no. And like, people are like, well, what does it actually mean?
So it simply is meant for you to give men a second chance, or even a third possibly. So where you might have written them off the first, like, maybe the first date, because they were awkward or, you know, nervous, or maybe they didn't talk very much on the first day.
They didn't ask you a lot of questions, or maybe they talked too much and didn't allow you any time to talk at all. Okay. Or maybe, you know, they dress really funny or something like things where you might have been like, yeah, no, I'm just not sure about that.
It's honestly, it's about just giving guys a second or a third chance. Okay. Until you're like, absolutely not. I just, I don't, I don't see this going anywhere romantically. Okay. It doesn't mean that you don't keep talking to men that don't have the three Ms. So when we, when we hear a say about the three Ms, what we're talking about is, are they, are they masculine? Okay, this is where, you know, the masculinity comes into play.
It's not like, oh, is he big buff? You know, all that kind of stuff. It's the divine masculine. Is he a, you know, protector? Does he have certain qualities about him that would be more masculine? Okay. I know. Sometimes I hear women like, oh, he just doesn't have a very strong voice, like his, his actual, like, voice, like, he's maybe a little more meek or quiet or something.
And women are like, well, he's not masculine enough. Well, ladies, that's not defining masculine. So again, I'm not going to go into too much detail because in the divine feminine video, Jackie does briefly touch on what divine masculine is, as well as going into detail about divine feminine.
So is he masculine? Is he marriage minded? Okay. Some men very early on will tell you they have no intentions of getting married. Well, ladies, y'all are here because you want to be married. So you don't want to find yourself in a relationship with somebody that they're not going towards that same direction as you. Okay. So keeping that in mind as well. Are, are, are, do they have their affairs in order? All right. Are they working towards goals? Are they mature?
So that's the other end. Are they mature? All right. So if men don't have those three things, and again, you're not going to know these things right off the bat, you're not going to know on a first date, if they have the three M's. Now, you may see, they might right off the bat, start talking about that they're not getting married. Um, or, you know, they're open to having sex before marriage, like that right there is like, okay, if that's where they're at,
and that's, that's not where you're going. That's okay. When you can say, okay, now it's a no. All right. If they are unhealthy in a way that they're treating you badly, they're just, you know, rude and crude. And, you know, I can, I mean, I could go on and on about some of the things. And I'm sure you ladies have had experiences with some men that were not, um, nice gentlemen, right.
Um, and I've had some experiences, especially if you've been online online dating, cause that, that can happen. So if they're treating you badly, then that's a no. Okay. So it doesn't mean that we're going to ask you all to like, Oh, nope. I have to have a third date with this guy.
Cause Jackie and the team told me I had to get, he's sitting there and he's being disrespectful and he's like inappropriately, like trying to touch you or whatever. Like, that's a no get out of my face. Right. That's a blessing block is what we call that.
Okay. Um, and then it doesn't mean that you continue to keep going on dates that you have absolutely nothing in common with, and you just don't enjoy them. Again, I would say give it two or three dates, but after that, if you really don't enjoy their company and you just don't have a whole lot in common, like, maybe, you know, that ministry is in your, in your future and they're just not open to that.
Then clearly it's not a match and you can move on.
or maybe you're in a season of your life where you can travel and you want to travel and they can't
because maybe they've been divorced and they have custody of their kids or they have shared
custody with their kids and they are not able to travel the world like maybe you are and you can,
then obviously that's a, you know what, this is not going to move in that direction.
And then it doesn't mean it has to be a, you know, a hard, like a uncomfortable, like
let go of, you know, like it doesn't have to be like, you're not a good person. It's just,
we're not in the same space. I wish you the best of luck and you can move on.
All right. Everybody following me? Good. I see lots of people writing notes. I love it. So good.
All right. Another thing that we will talk about is we're like, we always tell you ladies to keep
it light in the beginning. And so sometimes you're like, well, and if you're like me,
I was an overshare. It was very, very difficult for me to keep it light. Yes. I see Candy. You're,
you're, you're not in your head. So you, you are right there with me. Yes. Um, I, I was,
I was, I'm an open book. I have nothing to hide, you know, like my mess is my, is my message. It's
my testimony. I'm going to share it with everybody, which I'm learning and I've had learned. And now
I have a, a daughter who's been through, um, some significant trauma in her life. And, and she is
very like vocal about what she's experienced to complete strangers. And now I'm like, oh my gosh,
now I totally see why it's so important that you don't want to like overshare and, um, do that
because it's just, they're strangers and you never know who you can trust with that kind of
information until you've gotten to know them. Okay. And I'm not trying to say that, like,
don't hear me being like, I can't trust anybody. No, that's not what I'm saying. It's, you do have
to allow yourself time and then see people's behavior and experience and how they respond.
Um, and it's just, it's just smart to, to know, to get to know somebody. So no one expects you
to say at the surface and your first exchanges, but it's about sharing bits and pizzas, pizzas,
bits and pieces, pieces, um, without pulling in your drama, your trauma, your triggers.
So none of that needs to be within your first two or three weeks of inner interaction. Okay.
So what also keeping it light means or doesn't mean, it doesn't mean that you're texting all
the time. All right. So let me, let me rephrase that. Cause I feel like I just got very confusing
with my word wording. If you're keeping it light, then you're not texting every day.
All right. I know how easy it is in the beginning when you're interested in getting to know
somebody, especially if you're on the apps, you're having the back and forth exchanges frequently.
Okay. Or maybe you've gone out on a date and now they're like blowing up your phone or you're
blowing up their phone and you're talking several times a day that is not keeping it light.
All right. My husband struggled with this. He was texting me all day, every day. Cause he
worked from home and I didn't when we were dating and I'm like, dude, you can't message me all day,
every day, especially when we don't know each other yet. So I had to put some boundaries up.
I had to just keep it light. I had to kind of pick and choose like, Hey I want to respond to you.
I'm not, I'm not able to, I'm going to have to reach back out tomorrow. Like I had to set some,
set some boundaries there because my husband was, you know, very interested in me and always wanted
to talk to me and wanted to get to know me more. So yeah, don't text all day, every day,
just keep texting to facts and not thoughts, opinions, feelings, or analysis. Like leave that
for live conversations where you can hear people's tone and inflection and you can see their body
language. Because you're not going to be 100% engaged with each other if you're just on like
the texting stuff. Okay. When you're in front of somebody, you can see whether or not they're
invested, engaged in wanting to get to know you more. And so you have their full attention, but
when you're texting and stuff, you just, you don't. I mean, if, if you're like me, oftentimes
I'm like multitasking and I'm sending a message to somebody and then I get distracted and I put
it down and then I forget to come back until like a day or two later. I'm like, I forgot
completely respond to that person. So it's because I'm not fully, I'm not fully engaged. I'm not
fully like invested in that. So that's why we act like we encourage you not to, because that
will happen too, where some people feel like they're being ghosted because they didn't,
some guy didn't respond to them.
in like 10 minutes because he'd done it a week or so ago, but then it's like, oh, well,
I haven't heard from him in a couple hours. Well, ladies, it could be because he's got
a life and he's busy. I know that happens to me. So just try not to get yourself into that.
Also, when you're keeping it light, especially in the level two, so this is where we're really
talking about level one and level two. So it means that if they left tomorrow where they
really did decide that they didn't want to pursue you and they didn't give you the courtesy of
letting you know, Hey, thank you for your time, but I don't see this going anywhere.
But some people will do that. All right. They haven't been through heartwork.
All right. They may do that, but if they do, are you going to be torn up because
you felt like maybe you overshared or you got so invested into somebody that really wasn't
much of a relationship yet, because you're, again, you're still getting to know somebody.
So that's something to gauge. Like I, I was one of those people where if I was really
interested in somebody and I wanted to get to know them more, maybe have one really good date.
And then they kind of stopped talking to me. I would get so hurt and like, I would feel so
hopeless. I'd get discouraged. I would just like cry. Like, you know, I'd go into this
spiral that, you know, God doesn't have somebody for me. Y'all like, that's, that's how I knew I
was oversharing, or I was putting too much emphasis on someone that I really hadn't gotten
to know yet. So I wasn't keeping it light. I was allowing my emotions, my feelings,
all of that to kind of just overcome all, it just wasn't just, it was not good. Okay.
All right. Do I got everybody still? We good? I know this is lots of information,
but it's good because again, I know a lot of you ladies, when you do get into dating, you're like,
oh my gosh, like help, help, help. So these are just some really good basics.
A couple other things to keep in mind when you're dating, especially in level two is dating is not
just for getting to know a person. It's also getting to know yourself too. Okay. So sometimes
you might not be ready to date, but maybe if you just go out and you are like getting to know
people, you're going to learn a little bit more about yourself. And so that can be a good thing.
Like I had to learn like what I liked, what I didn't like. I had to learn about myself and know
that, you know what? I really did do a lot of healing in the time that I was in Jackie's
community. So when I started dating, I was dating some really great guys that weren't for me,
but I was learning more about myself and realizing I had grown, I was doing things differently.
So just keep that in mind when you're dating. It's not just about the guy, it's also about yourself.
God can use dating to help you grow into areas that will prepare you for when he does bring
someone to your spirit mate, bring you your spirit mate. So again, don't rule out going on
a date with someone that maybe you're not like super excited about, but God could be using that
person to grow you in a different area and help you prepare. Okay. So just do your best to just
go out, have fun, enjoy the company. Doesn't mean it has to be a love connection. Doesn't mean
that, you know, you have to decide whether or not the guy that you are, you know, having coffee with
or going bowling with is going to be your husband or not. So that would be my next thing is remove
the, is this my husband question when you're out dating instead, maybe replace it with how can God
use this person as an opportunity to grow into my best self? So instead of saying, is this my
husband? Ask, you know, how, God, how can you use this person to help me grow into my best self?
I share this story a couple of times. There was a guy in Jackie's community. He actually
lived fairly close to me, super attractive guy, very energetic. We had, you know, we had just very
outgoing personalities. And so I went out on a date with him and I wish this guy would have been,
been it at that time. I really did not. Obviously I have my husband now and I see why,
like, cause my husband is more perfectly matched for me than this other guy. But this other guy
was a really standup guy. Now he wasn't my person. He wasn't ready to step into a father role. Like I
had a child from a previous relationship. And it
Instead of like writing that guy off and being like discouraged and hopeless about it. I
Focused on how God used him because we were at a coffee shop
downtown where I lived in Sarasota and
When I'm on this date with him
he stepped out to go to the bathroom and I was looking across the street and
realized that
across the street
Was the location that I had met a former
Ex-boyfriend like a former boyfriend that created a lot of drama and toxic stuff in my life
He was a drug addict and an alcoholic and so there was this location
Now the building itself the where I had met him that that location was gone. They actually
Demolished it and rebuilt a new building there, which was these luxurious high-rise like
Penthouse building like and then on the bottom floor was a luxury jewelry store and
God spoke to me
About how I was getting healing and how he was upgrading me
And he was showing me all of the really great guys that are out there that there are good guys out there
But not all the good guys are gonna be for me that he has one for me that this guy wasn't it
But he was showing me through this date that I had grown and
That I was picking and I was attracting and I was attracted to
Good men because in the past I wasn't
So that's how again like not ruling out some of your dates because God can use
them to show you things about yourself a
Couple things to remember is a critical heart is a broken heart. So recognizing growth
Opportunities in yourself if you see yourself picking a person apart in the early stages
I see this sometimes frequently happen in our phase when ladies are out there dating is they're starting to pick apart men and like
criticize and judge them
And not I mean you can have your opinions about guys. I'm not saying that you can't it's just recognizing
Are you frequently doing this? Are you?
Constantly picking these guys apart. Okay, so if that's the case then that you know
Just recognize that there might be a growth opportunity in you and then just having a balanced mindset
So instead of focusing all your energy on what they're doing or they're not doing, you know
Having an awareness of how you are responding to their actions as well
So this is when I call like the revealing for healings at time
so
Okay, so that's about all I'm gonna cover as far as dating goes and this anybody has questions when we open up our question time
All right. So let me ask how many of you got to watch Jackie's Supernatural Saturday?
Candy did Karen did okay. I'm seeing a few shake your head. All right
Those of you that halfway Kylie's that halfway good. So make sure you finish it. Okay, if you didn't raise your hand
You know or you shook your head. No, I want you to go ahead and make a note. Please go watch the replay
Good good stuff. All right, ladies. It is super super super important
Teresa you don't have the replay. So are you in the app on your phone or on your desktop?
I see you typing your desktop. Okay. I
Got you girl
Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and make note of that and we can
As well
ladies and again
If you are on the app if you can go like I have to go on my desktop and on my phone back and forth
All the time there's sometimes my phone works better than the desktop and then there's other times
I have to get off my phone and I have to use the desktop
So replays are not showing up for you. Teresa. I'm gonna make note of that right now. Okay, so
And
Sometimes they don't show up right away
So it may take a day for the team to get them up
okay, so just keep that in mind like I know last Tuesday's our
Second call I had some issues on my end because I saved it to my computer and not the cloud
So then I had to like convert it and do all this stuff actually ended up having to get my husband to help me because I'm
So technically challenged so it took another I think day for them to get the replay up
So just keep that in mind just you know, constantly keep trying to check that out. But yes, please please please supernatural Saturdays
Get to those if you can and if you can't replay replay replay. So
Jackie had really and she even posted in our community as well and I just pulled from some of her notes
She gave a really really great word of it's just time to let let go
you know and so
Make space for those supernatural Saturdays and put them on your calendar so you can watch replays as well
So some things to let go of okay
so really once you what you ladies to sit on this think about it, which one of these really is highlighted to you and
We'll share here in a moment when we do breakouts. Okay, so one of the things to let go of is negativity
So to get to the and like get to the root of the belief that everything will continue to go awry in your life
So that's that can sometimes happen with negativity is that we get so focused like nothing great can actually
Like good can happen. So we gotta get to the root of why you believe that
Okay, so we got to let go of that negativity let go of perfect
Because here's the thing if perfect was such a thing we wouldn't need Jesus y'all
If we were perfect then Jesus would have no business needing to die on the cross for our sins
Because we're just it's not it's we're we're perfectly imperfect
Let go of guilt
So realizing that you can and now that you know you will do better
Because sometimes
you do because you just didn't know better and
So now if you realize that you can do better and now that you do know and you have some knowledge now
You can go do better
Let go of busyness
Be abundant, but don't be overwhelmed let go of other people's responsibility
Let go of the someday
Do it today the someday will never come
Maybe you should let go of the should
so I
was this Jackie shared this and like I had a
counselor also
Share this is you know, you got to stop shooting all over yourself
Hey, it's gross. It's not good. All right
Let go of blame
This here's the thing life can be messy regardless there doesn't have to be a fall guy
And it's when you let go of blame is where healing can begin
Let go of judgment
give grace and hold space for people to that are still learning and
Ladies, this is a this is an important one in y'all's phase right now phase two as you're out there dating
It's so easy to judge and be critical of a lot of these guys that you're gonna date
Because they're just still learning they don't have a Jackie
They don't have a last year single community. They don't have anyone telling them, you know, the do's and don'ts of dating
So remember to give grace especially to some of the guys that you're dating because you just don't know better
And then let go of fear
You know instead do up do the opposite of what fear is telling you to do
Okay
I know that was a lot. But again, you can refer back to that
On the app tech you made a post about it. And then you can listen to Supernatural Saturday
And ladies, let me tell you like the last several weeks if you have not watched those Supernatural Saturdays, they have been
So good so on fire
You know like it's it's a it's it's it's it's
They've actually been really beneficial to me y'all and I'm I'm I'm married
But it doesn't mean that once you get married that life still doesn't happen that there's still struggles and stuff like that
It's just there it's just it's very timely
So that's when I like I love it when I get get something from those because I'm like man
That's that's just the season that we're in regardless if we're single or in a relationship
You know, maybe you're in a level two. Maybe you're in a level three
Whatever, you know, they're still you know
Good just good good things that God's releasing
And let me tell you Jackie has such a strong anointing to be able to
To share a word when when God speaks to her
So definitely get to those if you can. All right, so ladies, I'm gonna break us out. There's what one two, three
Six there's eight of us
so I'm gonna break us out into small groups and
we're gonna just
Have a few minutes to get to know your sisters a little better. I know some of you are
at work, so if you cannot, while I'm copying these questions in the chat, if you cannot
unmute, let me know. All right. I don't see anybody not able to unmute. So the first question
is I want you all to share one thing that you're going to be letting go of this week
and moving forward. Okay, Victoria, I'll try to put you in a group of three. So that way
if you can't, then there's still two people in there that can. So yeah, just on that list,
if there was anything that jumped out of you that you're like, wow, that definitely is
something that I need to let go of, or something came to mind when I was sharing about that,
or when you were listening to Supernatural Saturday, if there was something that was
highlighted to you that Holy Spirit was like, yes, you need to let go of this, go ahead
and share that with your sisters in the small group in our breakout room. And then once
you do that, so spend about maybe 90 seconds, you know, just sharing and then let someone
else share. So then everybody shares on that question. Once everybody's answered that question,
then I want you all to share with one another, what is your one of your favorite trips or
vacations that you've been on? Or that you would like to go on? So something might might
be like, well, I've never been on a really fun vacation. Okay, well, then what's a vacation
that you think would be really fun would would be your favorite. Okay. So I'm gonna go ahead
and get these breakout rooms started. We'll spend no more than 10 minutes because it's
a small group today. So we shouldn't need too much time. Let's see breakout room. All right.
I'm going to open those up. Victoria, I'm gonna have to move you to one though. Actually,
I'm gonna move someone to yours. Okay. Let's see here. All right, ladies, I'm gonna open them up.
Awesome. Okay, well, welcome back. So now, ladies, I would love to take take your questions.
So if you have any questions or feedback or breakthroughs, or we don't want to share with
what you're experiencing, maybe you have questions about something more in detail that I covered
today. Maybe there is a dating situation that you want to know more about. Maybe it's
something that you heard in one of the videos, one of the training videos. Now is your time
to answer or ask your questions for answers. Alright, so don't be shy. Okay, Victoria,
you have to go. No, wait, there you are. How do you have any time right now? Or is it like
you super gotta check out? Because I do want to get to your question. Is it what you posted
in the roll call? Okay, all right. Well, definitely, I will I will do my best to respond to you
in the roll call. And then next Tuesday, if you can get on and we can chat a little bit
more if you're as it as the week progresses, but I'm going to give you some tips to get
through that. And then. Okay, good. Good. Good. Good. All right. Well, good to see you.
All right, ladies, anybody else? Don't be shy.
Tell me what what what are you ladies experiencing? Anybody out there dating yet?
Okay, I got one for you. Carla. Oh, I love you. Okay, here's how it goes. No,
I'm just kidding.
Okay.
So I, this is kind of just like, I obviously show a lot of grace on these dating apps.
Oh Lord Jesus, help me with these dating apps.
Um, but like, it's so funny because like I'll match with a guy on certain ones and, and
I think that we've talked about this before and I really try to show grace and so I'll
ask like, I'll like, I'll ask a question and then they'll just, they'll just answer
and they don't.
And I'm thinking, you know, guys, they just aren't texters.
They're not, you know, I get it.
I just want to show them grace, but let me just tell you, these jokers don't know how
to hold a conversation.
It is actually not all of them, but a lot of them.
And I'm like, I, I've come so close over the last several years cause I've been on and
off dating apps putting like, um, don't match with me if you don't know how to go like app.
Like it is honestly so frustrating cause I'm thinking you're wanting me to give you a chance,
but you're making it really hard cause I'm literally keeping this conversation afloat.
So this, at that point when it's been like five questions in and they've not asked me
any questions, I honestly move on.
Like unless there's some big spark, which has not happened.
And I just don't know if that's the right way to go about it or if I'm being too, like
if I need to do it, you know, more, if there's a way to think about it.
Instead of doing that, like a girl, I totally get you're like, Oh, online dating, like Lord
Jesus take the wheel.
I, yes, I, I totally get it because online dating was not my favorite either.
Um, instead of like after going in with a couple of questions and they're not giving
you anything in, in return, like question wise, um, can you be very blunt with them
in a kind way and just say, um, I would really love it if you would ask me some questions
or why don't we jump on a video chat?
Like that way you're not, that way you're not going like you're, you're feeling like
you're pulling teeth by like the fifth question that you can literally just say, look, I'm,
I'm really about like having conversation and it being like a two way street, you know,
I'm, I want to ask questions and I want you to feel like you can ask me questions as well.
I'd love to jump on a video chat with you so we can see each other's like, um, facial
expressions on the app.
If you, so some of the apps do have video, for example, I preferred Facebook dating and
I know some people are like, Oh, I don't want to do that.
There's, you know, not, you're not always going to run into Christians there.
Well, you're a Christian, you're on Facebook, right?
So, um, I, I preferred the Facebook because it was just convenient, but then I also had
the messenger video chat feature.
So I didn't have to accept them as a friend, but I could still message with them in messenger
and then there is a video chat feature in the Facebook messenger.
Okay.
I may try that.
I just didn't want to get my phone number out or anything, but I don't, I don't do,
I don't do the phone number.
I wouldn't do the phone number.
Um, we definitely don't encourage that.
We do the Google voice, but I don't think Google voice number has a video chat feature.
If you don't have something like, if you're not in Facebook dating and there's no video
feature, you can do, um, a zoom call like, and it literally, you can, it's a, it's a
free membership design to sign into zoom.
And the cool thing about that is that you don't, it doesn't, you don't have to have
a paid version of zoom.
And so the free version of zoom actually only allows you to have a 40 minute zoom call.
Yes.
This way, if you were like, if you're like me, like I could just go on and on and on
and I could dive and I could get too much information to a complete stranger.
This helped me keep it kind of brief.
And it's just literally to see, is there some engagement, is there some interaction?
Do you want to sit across from them from coffee or go bowling with them or, or pop pot or
whatever?
Is there enough something there that you can, Oh yeah, to me, that's why I liked the video
chat feature.
I liked being able to get in front of them, see, are they, are they like, are they sitting,
are they engaged with me?
Are they making eye contact or that I had one guy y'all was watching TV while we were
video chatting?
No.
I was like,
I was like, no. And then like, and then it was like, he had a
shirt off and he was like watching TV. I mean, walking
around his house. Like, I'm like, dude, like I'm put
together like a nice top on I had my makeup. I think I curled
my hair. Like I had some nice earrings in like I came as if I
was presenting like I was on a date. Now I'm not saying that
these guys should show up. Okay, again, we're gonna give some
grace. But I could see that this guy wasn't really
interested in having a date with me. Now. I would love to
tell y'all that I said, Okay, bye. Thank done. No, I still
went out on out to dinner with him. It was not good. I mean, it
just wasn't like, obviously, I can keep conversation with
people. But I mean, it was so awkward. It was very clear this
guy was not, not mature, not very masculine. Like, I almost
felt like he didn't even want to pay for the date. And I was like,
Dude, I drove I drove up, which is another thing. So this was
very early on when I first came to Jackie. And I lived in
Sarasota, Florida. He lived in the Tampa Clearwater area, which
is about an hour away. I even drove up to meet him for dinner.
And it was that like, probably like at an Olive Garden or
something like it wasn't even like a cool place. Like, I
could have eaten the Olive Garden in Sarasota. And like I
said, like, I, I don't want to show it myself. I didn't have as
much time in Jackie's community to realize that that would have
been an indicator with that man, not giving me his undivided
attention on a 40 minute zoom call, and was watching TV. That
was in of itself an indicator that this guy was not interested
in getting to know me, or being, you know, you probably wasn't
very marriage minded either. So that would be my tip. My
feedback is, you know, try to get the guys on a video chat if
they're if they're not engaging in texting, then get them in
front of your face on a video, and see if are they making eye
contact? Are they excited to talk to you? Are they
interested? And then, you know, I'm one of those people that
can be very blunt. And I would be like, you know, if a guy was
not like if I was answering or asking questions, and he was
just giving, like, answers, and it wasn't, there was no like
reciprocation, I would probably be like, you know, if you're
really not interested, you can let me know, like, it doesn't
seem like you're really interested or engaged. Is that
true? Like, would you like to ask me questions? Or, like, I
would, I would just be very blunt. That's just me.
Yeah, I totally feel like I could do that. I think I just
need to figure out a format of saying it to where, like you
said, it's just like, it's just like, not offense that not like
I'm like, not like I'm looking to offend anybody. I'm just
saying like, I don't. That's one of the reasons why I've not said
it is because I don't know how to say it without it sounding
like, like, kind of rude itself in the sense of like, I've just
thought, well, if you're like, are you like, I like what you
said? Hey, just checking, like, are you interested? Because
you're not really asking questions back to me, you know,
like, so it seems like I'm
I think you cut out. But yeah, I like, I this is where I remember
like Renee even she's, she's really she's really good at
wording this stuff. Like, um, she was just very open about how
with I she's very open with guys like, look, I'm being
intentional in my dating. I'm intentional and dating and
getting to know somebody and being in real life, and meeting
in person and being in real life. Is that something that
you would be interested in? Are you interested in getting to
know more about me or not? Because if you're not, that's
okay. And you know, I won't, I won't take up any more of your
time. But I'm in a season right now where I'm being very
intentional about dating and, you know, investing time in with
people that are reciprocating the same thing. So if that's
you, that's great. I'd like to continue to get to know you
more. If not, that's fine, too. You can let me know. Like, I
think any note, maybe it might take a couple guys to feel it
out and figure it out with the wording, which is totally fine.
Like, this is kind of what I talk about, you know, sometimes
there's just
there's gonna be dates that you go on
that are just helping you prepare
for the one that is your spirit mate.
So maybe that's part of the process as well.
Thank you.
You are welcome.
Thank you for your question,
because that's a good one.
I know so many people experience that
when they're dating online.
Because again, these guys don't have a Jackie.
But here's another thing.
If they do seem like a good guy,
but maybe you're just not interested in them,
bring him to this community.
Might not be for you,
but maybe if he's a good Christian guy
and there's some good things, good features there,
like tell him a little bit about our men's program, 1822.
And if you have your affiliate link, you can use that.
I did that with a few guys.
Like, hey, I'm in this program.
You know, it never hurts.
All right.
Anybody else?
Ladies are quiet today.
I have a couple of questions.
Well, I have like three questions.
Okay.
No one else is asking questions.
So I'm gonna give you the floor to ask your three.
The first one is, is I have three kids.
I'm a stay-at-home parent to my kids right now.
I actually don't advertise that I have kids
on my dating app at all.
So when somebody matches with me,
they will not be able to tell I have kids.
They won't, like, nothing.
Due to like privacy reasons,
plus I've just read through like other dating stuff
about it makes your kids more vulnerable
potentially to like predators
if they know you're a single mom.
So I've just chosen not to,
but I don't really know then when to like tell
this person I have kids.
I like that you brought up this question because yes,
I've seen what you've said of how people share not to.
My opinion is gonna be slightly different, okay?
Here's why.
I was a single mom too.
I had a son as well.
I agree, you do not wanna leave your kids vulnerable, okay?
But there are ways to be able to communicate in an app
that yes, you have children and you don't have to open
the door to leave them vulnerable.
So I always put on there, yes, I had children.
We don't include pictures, obviously, of your children.
That's super duper important.
So the reason I say to be transparent about it
is because there are men out there that are not interested
in dating someone that has children, okay?
And I'm not saying that as a negative dig to them
or negative dig to us that we're single moms, okay?
But there's just certain people that that's not a season
of life that they're in.
So for me personally, it was important that I was matching
and meeting and spending my time away from my child
with people that were going to invest in getting to know me
knowing that I had a child,
knowing that that child is part of the package.
You get to know me personally,
I'm not gonna share about my child, okay?
That is where I will, that's where I like you,
when you're on dates, you don't disclose any information
about your kids.
Like I would, I mean, I would say, yeah, I have a child,
he's elementary, you know, and he enjoys sports.
And, you know, I have him 95% of the time.
So I'm only available to spend time with you
when he's with his dad every other weekend,
or when I can get a sitter.
And I did that so that some guys,
because there were some guys that literally thought
I could just drop what I was doing and go hang out.
And I couldn't, like, I have a responsibility to my child.
I have to go to bed early, I have to wake up early,
wake up early, I'm trucking my kid around, you know,
to school, I have to help him with his school stuff.
So that's why, like, I am a firm believer
in just being transparent about having kids,
but you're not going to give a bunch of information.
They don't need to know how old they are.
They don't need to know, like, what sports they're in.
They don't need to know,
they don't need to know all those details,
but you can certainly let them know, like,
yes, I have a child, I have three kids, so.
Yeah, like, generally what I do is when I match with them,
I'll, like, have a little bit of small talk,
and then when they're like, what do you do?
Or like, what did you do today?
Then I'll say, oh, I have three kids, or I have kids,
I don't, and I usually say, like, 10 and under.
or something like that, like I kind of give an age gap and then I'm like if that's not something
you're interested in, totally fine, I just don't put them on my profile due to privacy reasons.
That's kind of what I have been doing, but I'm like I don't know if that's awkward because then
people are like not seeing that I have them, but I also don't know how comfortable I feel
writing. So in the profiles, I don't know which online source you're using online,
but I do like all the ones that I have used in the past, like obviously Facebook dating,
I think there was like Hinge and Bumble a long time ago. I had done Match before this community,
actually where I met my son's father, but it has on there like do you have kids,
do you want kids, and so I did put yes, I had a child and then I put he lives with me a majority
of the time. Like you can have those features, so it doesn't have to be in your profile,
doesn't have to be in your photos, but I think somewhere to just kind of signal yes,
I do have children because there are some people that just don't want to have kids
and so or they do or whatever. Like for example, my husband, he had two children
and so he and he is huge on, I mean he doesn't even have social media like Facebook
and he can't stand if I try to post pictures of the kids. Like he reprimands me for it,
but I was like ah, like that's how we stay connected. I have everything on lock and in
private, but he's very adamant about not sharing that stuff, but it was important to him that
people knew he had children because that was, otherwise he felt like he was being deceptive.
So that was him, but I think just putting it on there just to say yes, I have children,
but you don't give all the information. So and it will just help you kind of weed out or like
or not or get invested in somebody and then it just gets weird. That's my opinion though.
Yeah, but again going on the fact of like being a target for predators, this is why
in this community we talk to you ladies about safety as well. Like not having a video call
before meeting someone, never going to somebody's house or inviting them to your house. You don't
disclose locations of things of where you're going, where your kids go to school. Like you don't give
details about your schedule. Just being safe in that regard is important. So that way you can
kind of signal like whether or not someone's intentionally trying to date you. And again,
you're pacing yourself in the relationship. You're doing the level two pacing. You're not over
sharing. You're getting to know somebody. You're seeing them involved in community and you're just
you're pacing with that getting to know you stage. That when you got to know them and you start
seeing them not as a stranger anymore and they've shown you some of their character and behaviors
and you've seen that and then as you're stepping into a level three committed relationship. That
to me is when you would start introducing your children is when you've had more of an exclusive
conversation. That's how I did it. You know my husband and I did it is we waited until
we were exclusively dating before our kids found out. In fact, actually I shouldn't say that
because my son's all us hugging outside of my door when he dropped me off for a date when my
son was supposed to be in bed. But the babysitter said he woke up and so he was like waiting up for
me. So in that sense like at that point my husband and I were actually exclusively dating just dating
each other. So I did tell my son but we waited some time before we introduced each other to our
children. So and then at that point I felt very safe. I felt like God was giving me lots of confirmation that
this was in fact going to be my husband. I got to know him before giving him all the details about my
child. So you got two more questions. Well this one might actually be better to ask in the app.
I just find like there's not a lot of like responding happening. But I was just curious
what other women ask men as like questions because I'm like sometimes I've
just run out of things.
Like I don't really know what else to ask you.
Okay, that's good.
I actually, so before we had the app,
we had the Facebook group and there was a post
and people did put questions that they asked.
So I love that.
So definitely post it in the app
and I'm gonna keep getting on you ladies
to start engaging in the app.
All right, super important.
So some of my things,
so like the question today that I gave you ladies,
like tell me about one of your favorite vacations
or trips or what's a place
that you've always wanted to go to and why?
So questions like,
questions that are about things
that I knew I was interested in
and that I had responses for.
I love the question is,
what fills up your time on the weekends?
What do you enjoy the most about weekends?
What's your favorite day of the week and why?
You know, the career that you're in,
do you see yourself continuing to do that?
Do you wanna continue growing?
Do you wanna do something completely different?
What did you wanna be when you were older,
when you were a kid?
Like what was the thing that you told people
that you wanted to be when you were younger?
Like, you know, what was that like?
Just all sorts of just like fun, get to know you questions.
I also love, would you rather questions?
You can like Google some of those.
I mean, honestly, you can go and Google
and just be like first date questions
and they're gonna give you a giant list
and there's gonna be some on there that are just awful.
Yeah.
Like you might have to comb through and pick out some,
but there's a lot of great ideas.
Like I said, I love the would you rather questions
because you typically,
there's typically a reason why you choose the would you,
like the one over the other.
And there's always like an explanation.
Well, I would rather do this because of this.
And so you kind of get to know somebody's personality
that way.
Like I'm trying to think of a would you rather question.
My kids do this all the time, like the would you rathers.
And I'm always like, where did you come up with?
I mean, some of them get like gross and stuff,
but they're all in good fun.
But usually there's a reason why you choose
to have the superpower of like being invincible
as opposed to being able to run really fast.
I don't know.
So those are some good questions.
And then do you have another one?
I was just like wondering when you said you don't talk to,
like keeping it, what did you say?
Keep it light.
You don't talk to them every day.
Do you tell them that?
Because generally like in the past,
if I don't hear from somebody like in the morning,
even if it's just like, hey, hope you have a good day.
I automatically assume like they're not that interested.
So I'm like curious, do you like say,
I'm not gonna be talking to you every day.
I mean, I wouldn't say,
hey, I'm not gonna talk to you at all.
What happens is like,
if I notice a guy is starting to like text me,
if a guy, like when a guy would just start texting me
more frequently, I would just say,
hey, you know, good morning.
I, I'm super busy.
I got a lot going on.
I, I would love to get to know you more,
but can we, you know, that I,
this is when it's really good just to go ahead
and set up an actual meetup.
Yeah.
Or like, hey, like I,
I'm really about like getting to know people
and, you know, not talking all the time
until I've gotten to know somebody.
I'm being super intentional and, you know,
just, just being very, you know,
communicative about, I can't say that word very well,
just communicate to them.
Like I'm in a season where I'm getting to know people
and I wanna get to know people better,
but I need to be very intentional with time.
This is when you can be like,
I am a mom, so I can be busy at times.
And I wanna, I wanna get to know you more.
When, when is a good time to chat?
And then I try to lay it,
like leave it off the texting back and forth
and leaving it for more intentional,
get to know you times.
I find it like super draining anyways,
to like text throughout the day like that.
And I'm just like,
oh, I don't really even want to do that.
But I'm like, how do you be like,
oh, you might not hear from me for a day or two.
Just say, hey, like I'm super busy.
I've got a lot going on.
So I'm not on my phone quite often.
So I wanna get to know you
and I wanna answer your questions
or I wanna respond to you.
Is there a time later in the day
or in the next couple of days
that we can jump on a video call or we can meet?
up like and just say hey like I I am intentional about dating right now and being more in person
and just even being even saying like I'm being more intentional with my time in real life
so I'm trying not to be on my phone as frequent so I would prefer if we would spend our time
getting to know each other where we could be on a phone call a video chat or in life like real life
like on an actual dating just be like texting can can get really draining so I'm I'm not going to
be as responsive but I would love to get to know you so let's set up a time to do that okay no
that sounds good thank you you are welcome all right I feel like a few people have dropped off
we are at like 2 30 eastern time so we've been on for about an hour and a half so if there is
no other question I'm gonna let you ladies go and enjoy the rest of your day and then remember
Jackie's invited you all to a sneak peek of loveseat with the community and uh face
phase three and the men as well which is a real treat to check out if you're able to do that tonight
that is in the events tab on your app all right
awesome awesome all right ladies we'll enjoy the rest of your day and I hope you all can
jump on that loveseat tonight it'll be you'll like it it's always a lot of fun
all right ladies take care