Awesome. Welcome, ladies. So today is October 8. This is your one o'clock Tuesday check-in.
I'm Carla Johnson. I'm one of your coaches here at Last Year Single in Phase 2.
So if you are new to Phase 2, go ahead and give me a little hand raise.
Or if maybe this is your first live, Siggy, I had a feeling. I wasn't sure.
Okay, so you're going to be driving. No worries. I totally get it.
A lot of times we're traveling or at work or stuff like that.
But as soon as you can come back on camera, please do.
All right. Well, welcome, Siggy, to your first Phase 2 check-in.
Thank you.
Good to have you here.
So I'm going to go ahead and go over some housekeeping items.
It's kind of what we cover each week.
For those of you that have been here before, it's always good.
Sometimes we throw some new information out there, too, for you.
So always just make sure that you get that reminder.
So, again, welcome.
If this is your first time coming to a Phase 2 check-in, whether you're here now or you're watching in replay,
we do put this in replay.
So if you are watching us in replay, definitely make sure that you schedule time in your day on Tuesday to come to one of our live check-ins.
We know that life can throw curveballs.
So if you have to do it in replay, that's totally fine.
But if you can come live, it's best if you do.
Just a reminder, if you are new, we do have a series of five videos for you to watch.
We ask that you watch those one video a week, okay?
There's a lot of content in those.
They're about a little over an hour long.
We want to make sure that you are just sitting with that information, praying about it.
You're asking the Lord to highlight to you something that he wants you to get from that, to glean from that,
and that you take time to process that with us, okay?
So just, yeah, again, take notes.
See how you can apply what you're learning in that content to what you are experiencing in your current situation, okay?
So if you are jumping into phase two out of phase one,
you probably have already watched that Love Story Accelerator where we give you a seven-day challenge.
I always put this in the housekeeping items because there's always a couple people that want to freak out with the seven dates.
I'm here to tell you, you don't need to worry about it, okay?
You don't have to freak yourself out.
Take it one date at a time.
A lot of people ask the question, do I have to get all my seven dates in in phase two?
No, you don't, okay?
It can take you three months if you need to, okay?
You don't want you overwhelming yourself if you're not ready.
Some ladies, they'll dive in.
They're going off the high dive.
They're ready to take the plunge.
They're ready to get out there and start dating.
Other ladies like myself, when I was in this program, I took some time, okay?
It took me a little while, all right?
I wouldn't suggest doing it the way that I did it.
It took me probably about a year to get out and start actually get on an official date.
So I wouldn't suggest that, but just know that we all are here to go at your own pace, okay?
So don't sweat it.
Don't play the comparison game, all right?
So now that we've covered that, okay, so anybody that was like panicking about the seven dates, now I'm going to just kind of give you some housekeeping items about
now that you're in phase two, what do you do, okay?
So I already discussed that you had the five videos, but the most important thing to take from phase two is show up.
That is the best thing that you can do, okay?
Take it from me.
I was in this program.
I have seen all sorts of women come through here.
I will tell you most of the success stories will come from those women that are showing up as frequently as they can, okay?
I say this because oftentimes life can get busy.
We can forget.
We can put ourselves on the back shelf, and I just don't want you ladies to do that.
You are in a season where you are investing in yourself.
You're investing in what God has placed in your heart.
So you owe that to yourself.
You deserve that.
You deserve to take that time for you.
So if you're like me, I was a people pleaser.
I was a single mom.
I was like I got all these other things to do.
I have all these other people to care for.
took me this program to realize
like I needed to take care of myself too.
And so I just encourage you show up here in phase two, okay?
So the best, so how can, okay, so you're like,
all right, Carla, great, how do I show up here?
Okay, so some things that you can do.
Post and share in the app, all right?
Share with us everything that's happening, all right?
I'm talking heartwork stuff, your dating situations,
even like, you know, getting out there
if you're deciding to go online,
what experiences you're having with that,
what you're learning from the video content,
maybe some breakthroughs that you're having,
you know, what you're getting from the prayer calls,
like come and share with us your life,
like what is happening, okay?
We're here as a community, we're your sister squad,
we're here with you.
What oftentimes happens is that women,
they start dating and then they forget to come
and share with us about what's happening
in their dating experience.
And then like stuff happens,
whether you're getting triggered,
whether you're in avoidant attachment
and you're starting like, okay, no, I don't wanna do this,
or maybe you're anxious
and you're kind of like getting in your head,
come and share that with us.
Don't neglect coming and talking to us about that.
We're here to help you see those blind spots
when you're dating,
because you just came through heartwork, all right?
And I always like to tell ladies at coming to phase two,
your heartwork isn't over, it never is over.
I'm married y'all and I still have a lot of heartwork to do.
Marriage brings a lot of heartwork out of you.
So dating is gonna naturally do that same thing.
So you've got some healing from your stuff in the heartwork
and now that you're stepping into dating,
there's gonna be things that you're gonna do differently now
because you have new information, you have new tools,
you have new things that you're learning here in phase two.
So just make sure that you're communicating to us
what you're feeling, what you're experiencing,
what's happening in your life, cool?
Thumbs up ladies, show up, share with us all your deets.
All right, cool.
Okay, so then when you are in the app
and you're sharing with us,
be mindful of the tabs that are in the app.
So there's the all tab, there's the wins tab,
there's the ask a coach tab
and then there's the relationship milestone tab.
One thing that I want you ladies to make sure
that you're paying attention to is that ask a coach tab.
Okay, so if you want one of us coaches specifically responding,
please make sure that you click that ask a coach tab.
It is just our way of making sure
that we are getting to you as quickly as possible.
So, and then when you are responding to other women
in the community because that's another way you show up,
get to know one another in this community.
Your sisters here can be your friends for life, okay?
I say that because I was in this program.
A lot of the women that were in this program
came to my wedding.
They're still good friends of mine.
Even before I got married and I was traveling
with my young son, we would go on summer vacation.
We traveled to new places.
I'd figure out who was where and we would connect
and we would hang out.
Like there was one friend that is in Atlanta
and she has two kids and me and my son
would just stay with her when we were visiting in Atlanta.
So, get to know your ladies here, okay?
Find community here.
So, respond to people in the app.
Just make sure that you're not responding
to anybody in the ask a coach tab.
At any of the alls, wins, relationship milestones,
definitely respond to those ladies.
But we do ask that when you do,
make sure that it's positive
and that you're being encouraging, okay?
It's really easy that when we come,
like, because again, we want you all,
if you are feeling lonely, discouraged, hopeless,
like, it's natural you're gonna have
some of those feelings and emotions.
I can attest, I had those moments too.
And I just needed to sometimes share that
with my sisters here in this community.
It was helpful when other people
didn't jump on that same bandwagon.
But instead, they were encouraging,
they were sharing with me, like,
look, I've experienced this as well,
and this is what I did to lift myself up, all right?
So, just let's be positive.
Let's lift each other's boats.
Let's make sure that we're doing that, all right?
So, again, engage with one another,
host in our community, and just connect, okay?
And then come to as many live check-ins as you can, all right?
Same thing with the prayer calls.
That is, like, the meat of where you're gonna get,
like, some breakthroughs, okay?
Yes, we have the replays, but there's just sometimes,
I mean, y'all, all you ladies are here,
so you can...
test to it. You get so much more when you're here live. We get it. Life happens. Sometimes you have
to watch things and replay. I'm that way on the weekends. I would love to get to those supernatural
Saturdays, but I have a son that is in travel baseball, so we're constantly doing tournaments,
so I can't always jump on those. So we get when you have to watch and replay, but if you can make
it a priority to come live, it is just going to fill you more, okay? And again, you're only in
phase two for four to five weeks minimum, so utilize that time. Like, this is your time.
As you can see, we're a smaller group here in phase two, and that's for your benefit. It's
so that you can get more one-on-one coaching here with us and as you're stepping into that
dating scene, because I know, I mean, raise your hand if anybody thinks of online dating,
and they're like, I'm so excited. Not really, right? Now, raise your hand if you're like,
online dating, I have to do this again. Like, I don't know. Like, this dating thing freaks me out.
Like, yeah. I mean, totally. See? See? So look at your sisters here. We've all been there.
It's not always the funnest, but we can make the most of it. We're here to support you. So show up,
let us know what's going on. You know, we're your girlfriends here. We can sit, we can, you know,
laugh about it. We can cut it up, but then we can also get real and raw, and we can help you
process through some things that you're experiencing. All right? Cool? Everybody on board
with that? Okay. And then the next thing is the app itself. So we do understand that, like,
there are glitches. Okay? This is a new app, and it is phenomenal. Like, I can't tell you, like,
how excited and pumped I was that now we get to get off Facebook, and we can have an app,
because Facebook can be so distracting. So we do have this app that you can access on your phone,
and you can access it on the desktop as well. So just know that there's two ways of doing it. I
have to oftentimes do both, because sometimes there's a little bit of glitches on my phone,
and then I have to shut that down, and then I go ahead and jump on the desktop. Okay? And then
there's some things in the desktop that, like, for right now, we're working on getting the replays
up and going. I've noticed that you can get them on your phone. I'm having a hard time getting them
on my desktop. So sometimes you just have to figure out what works best, the phone or the
desktop, at that time. So just be patient with us. Again, it's a new app. So like any new app,
there's just going to be glitches that come with it. So just help practice patience with us. We are
working with our developers of the app to fix all those kinks, and so we just believe that it's
going to turn around, and we're going to have great things come from it. So with that being
said, I know that some of you ladies will make posts, and after like 8, 12 hours, no coaches are
responding. Trust the process. We are also experiencing glitches where sometimes we don't
see those posts right away. So just know as soon as we see them, we are here to respond to you.
We care about you. We are going to be able to respond to you as soon as we get those. So
sometimes we don't see them right away, but again, we're working with our developers to fix
all of those kinks, okay? So going back to, again, talking about the app, make sure that you check out
that resource tab. There's so much good information there. That's where the SpiritMate match intake
form is. That's where our affiliate program information is. There is even a tech training
video that I encourage you all to watch. It helps you navigate the app a little bit better,
and then there's also a link for the single cities. So I get a lot of questions in the app
like Jackie talked about single cities. Where do I find it? Well, it's in the resource tab of your
app, so check it out, and then we also have an Ask Jackie tab there as well. So any of your dating
questions where you want to give some detail and you want Jackie's personal feedback, go ahead and
put that in Ask Jackie. So again, you can come to our app, and then you can share it in phase two,
and us coaches will walk you through that as well and give you our feedback on what you're
experiencing, but you can also do that for Jackie as well in the Ask Jackie. So I always tell people
do both. So we had someone last week that was experiencing a situation with her boyfriend,
and we gave
some feedback, and then we also brought it to Jackie at Love Seeds, and Jackie was able to give
her feedback as well. And it just helped one of your sisters here process what was happening
and get good, solid feedback from Jackie and us coaches here. So utilize that to your benefit,
okay? I think that about covers everything. Oh, actually, one more thing. So email, all right?
If you're going to email about SpiritMate, Match, Affiliate, all that kind of stuff,
anything that's in that resource tab, you are not going to get a response from the team in those
types of emails, okay? That's why we have that resource tab there is so that you can get all
that information, okay? Now, when we do tell you to email admin, it's to transition over to phase
three. So those of you that maybe have been here, you're finishing up your content, and you're like,
okay, I'm just about done watching my videos. I've been here a minimum of four to five weeks.
I'm ready to move to phase three. What do I do? That's when you're going to email admin
at JackieDorman.com, okay? And then they will shift you over to phase three, okay? So you've
watched your video content. You've come to live check-ins. You've been in phase two for at least
four to five weeks, all right? So, Carissa, how single cities work, just be patient. We have
teams of people that are operating those single cities, and so they have to just make sure that,
because we only allow members into those single cities, so we just have to always make sure that
we're checking to make sure that anybody that's requesting to be a member is also linked and
signed up with our community. Because in Facebook, there's scammers, there's bots, there's all sorts
of things. There's like people that are just like, they're like, oh, I want to hook up with single
people, so they're going to join those groups. We specifically only allow people that are in our
community and are paying members to join those single cities. So just be patient when you have
those pending things, and the team of people are working on those for those cities. Cool?
All right, I got through the housekeeping stuff, right? That always takes a lot, but
it's always important to make sure that we cover. All right, so now let's go ahead and get into our
teaching for the day. So raise your hand if you have watched the Divine Feminine video.
I know a couple of you are brand new to the community, so you probably haven't gotten there.
So I know Siggy, she was on a little bit earlier. She might have had to jump off. I know she was
driving. Okay, so a few of you have watched that Divine Feminine video. Perfect. Okay, that is,
honestly, it's like my favorite video of all of the content in our phase two. I just absolutely
love it. So as I always say to people, I always love re-listening to it several times. It's just
really, really good to get a reminder of what the Divine Feminine looks like, because not only are
you going to have your Divine Feminine stepping in your dating scene, but you're going to still
operate in your Divine Feminine when you're married too, okay? And it's real easy sometimes
when we want to operate in a dark, toxic feminine, because we're human. We sin. We sometimes operate
in that. So sometimes I have to check myself when I'm operating in that, so that I'm bringing my
best self to my marriage, okay? So that's why I just absolutely love that video, because I do love
how Jackie takes you through talking about the Divine Feminine through the eyes of the
curse and in the garden. So a lot of times, we see feminine and masculine through
the curse, but she takes it back to the garden to where we can see it the way that God intended and
the way He created it. And so that's always such a great reminder for me to go back to my identity
and my feminine and what God created me to be as feminine, okay? So we're going to talk about
a few of those characteristics and traits that Jackie does talk about. So the first one, and if
you want to take notes, you can, all right? I know some of y'all, actually all of y'all should be
taking notes when you're watching the video. So if you've got your hand raised because you've watched
the Divine Feminine, you've probably taken some of these notes already. Teresa's shaking her head.
She's a note-taker. I can tell. I had a pastor years ago at my old church in Florida, and
he used to joke, those of you that take notes get bigger mansions in heaven.
So I've always been a note-taker because he's always said that. I'm like, well, I'll take mansions
in heaven. I'm going to have all the people there. So I need space for those people.
So take a note, good thing.
All right, so one of the first characteristics
that we talk about when it's divine feminine
is the nurturer, right?
Okay, some of you ladies, you might identify that,
that you just got a natural nurturing trait about you.
So what I wanna talk about here is that nurturer
is about seeing potential in something
and being able to plant it somewhere
where it can actually be fed and nourished
and it's going to flourish.
So there's a difference here
between nurturing and caretaking
because many of us women will be caretakers.
Many of you might be our mothers, all right?
I was a single mom.
Maybe you want children.
Maybe you have grandchildren.
Maybe you are an aunt to somebody and you help take care.
Maybe your best friends have children
and you help them out.
We naturally have that gift,
but nurturing and caretaking are two different things,
especially when it comes to dating.
So I think it's important to talk about what is caretaking.
Caretaking is taking care of children
or other people that might be in crisis
who can't take care of themselves.
People might start taking care of their elderly parents
as they get older.
That's caretaking.
You're taking care of somebody
who can't do things for themselves, all right?
Nurturing is not caretaking.
It's not doing things for people,
like it's helping them do for themselves.
That's nurturing, okay?
So we want to make sure
that when you're showing up in your Divine Feminine,
especially with men, that you're not mothering men.
You're not doing things for them
that they can do for themselves.
You're encouraging them.
You're there to support them, all right?
You're there to help out.
We talk about the feminine is the easer, right?
She's the helpmate of her spouse, right?
But we're not doing things for people
that they can do for themselves, all right?
Nurturing is pouring into people
so that they can grow into who God's created them to be.
So it's operating in that sense, okay?
Then that kind of goes into my next couple traits
is counselor, all right?
So the feminine just has a natural gift
of being able to just give wise counsel.
We take our experiences, what we've experienced in life,
and we are able to pour that wisdom into other people.
We have to be careful, though,
that we are not playing therapist, okay?
Some of us have that therapist hat.
That's our profession.
You know, we coach, we counsel.
We do those types of things.
We have to make sure that we're not showing up in that
with our guys that we're dating, okay?
We're not sitting there telling them what they need to do
and giving them the advice of how they need to do it,
all right, because again,
that kind of goes back to that caretaking
and telling someone what they need to do
and how they need to do it.
Y'all want men that have the three M's,
that they're marriage-minded,
they're masculine, and they're mature, okay?
You don't wanna sit there and mother a man
that's mature, masculine, and marriage-minded.
It's just not gonna go well, okay?
So you want a man that can take your wisdom
and your nurturing sense and your counseling,
and it can just help draw the best out of him,
and he can grow into something, okay?
So that goes into that next trait
we're gonna talk about is that wisdom, all right?
So oftentimes in scripture, when they talk about wisdom,
they talk about the female, and so there's that.
A lot of times when I think of wisdom,
I also think of just having a natural intuition.
Like you always hear about people saying
a woman's intuition, like there's a reason for that.
Women, like that's the divine feminine.
God has given us that instinct, that intuition
to be able to apply that wisdom, and it's to be helpful.
What it's not, intuition is not suspicion.
So Jackie does talk about some of those toxic female traits
after the curse, and sometimes it can look like suspicion
or yeah, judgment.
Like we don't want to be suspicious of the people
that we're dating.
That's when that God-defendedness comes in,
reminding ourselves that we don't have to be self-defended,
but we're God-defended, all right?
So we can take wisdom.
God can give us wisdom about a person and saying, yeah.
this is not someone that you want to continue going down the path of a relationship with.
Maybe there's some red flags that are coming up. It doesn't mean that you have to go and be suspect
and go finding every single red flag that somebody has because here's the thing, ladies,
we all have yellow flags. I have yellow flags. My husband had yellow flag. You all have yellow
flags. Guys that you're dating are going to have yellow flags. And if you turn on this, well,
I'm just using discernment. I'm not sure if that, no, that's where you're being self-defended.
You're being suspicious. You're being judgmental. We don't want that when we're stepping into the
dating scene. Okay. You want to use God's given wisdom, intuition, and knowing that you are God
defended. Okay. Because sometimes when we are self-defended, we're showing up with a broken
and unhealed heart. And that's just not good either. And people can see that it can look
picky. It can look negative. And men can be very just like sensitive to those disapproving spirits.
So a healthy man is not going to want a woman who's kind of always like on suspect of what
he's doing. All right. Like, so just keep that in mind. You are God defended.
God has a way of letting you know what you need to know when you need to know it and if you need
to know it. So we had a situation here with one of our sisters that, you know, she was in a
relationship and, you know, she found, found out that he was struggling with some like pornography
and, and things of that nature. And, you know, it just, it came to light. Like she didn't have
to go searching for it. It just kind of came to light. And she had to process and have a
conversation with him and decide what that was going to look like and whether or not he really,
truly was working on himself or if it was something that, you know, he was still battling.
And so she had to take that to the Lord. She took some wisdom and counsel from us here at
last year single and was able to make a decision. So, but do you see how she wasn't having to go
and like comb through his phone, search in his Facebook? I mean, cause I know some of y'all do
that and I say it cause I did it too before this program. You're going in, you're going in their
search history. You're looking up their Facebook. You're seeing what, what people they're friends
with. You're seeing, Oh, he's got a lot of friends that are, you know, women and they're scantily
clothed. And I don't know about ladies. Like we can't go in there with like suspicion. All right.
Use wisdom intuition. It's why we talk about, you know, discovery dating and pacing yourself,
getting to know somebody first, not jumping into the romance right away when you're dating.
It's really take time to get to know a person, enjoy their company and not dive in into all
those serious conversations or getting hot and heavy with the romance, hugging and kissing and
all that kind of stuff. All right. I say it because I did that before this program. And I got myself
in a lot of trouble and just, it caused a lot of heart, heart wounds that I had healed from.
And thank God, God is a God of redemption and reconciliation. He could come in and he can
heal all of those areas. But now that you've gotten the heart work and you're in this program,
we want to help you take steps to where you're not falling in those same type of situations.
Okay. Next trait is comforter. All right. So what I like to remember with this one is it just
reminds me like comforter. I think of peace, Shalom. There's like a breathability about it.
It's just, you're being an advocate. It's this profound psychological and emotional peace.
I think of Isaiah 26, three, you will keep in perfect peace. Those whose minds are steadfast
because they trust in you. All right. When we are leaning on the Lord and we are God defended
and we are in peace with him and we are being comforted by our father, we naturally give off
in the divine feminine, a way of being a comforter as well, because people will see
how we're leaning on our Lord and our comforter, our Prince of Peace. And that comes out in
how we respond to others. The next trait is meek. The divine feminine is meek. It's not weak. I know
it rhymes, but it's not weak. It's actually, to me, meek is power under control. So there's
no weakness to that. It's being able to
deal with people in a kind manner, with humility and consideration.
There's a gentleness, there's a softness, there's a vulnerability that takes great strength.
And I say this, ladies, and I talk about being soft and gentle and vulnerable,
because that is important to show up when you do find your spirit mate and you step into marriage.
There's going to be times where you're going to have to be vulnerable with your spouse.
And there's going to be a softness. And I will tell you from my experience now,
like I'm a year in and my husband sometimes has a hard time being vulnerable himself.
And so it takes me as his wife to show a softness and be a safe space for him to be
vulnerable. Like I've had to learn. I haven't always created that space because ladies,
I will tell you, like I am a structured, like I'm a closet control freak that I have to work
on myself in. And I'm like a goat, like I'm like, this is how it's going to get done.
This is how we're going to do it. We got a plan. We're going to take action. We're going to go.
But sometimes it can come off very rigid. And I have to remind myself that I have to
be a safe space for my husband. I have to be soft. Same thing with my kids.
Like they need to know that like I'm a safe place to land. I can't always be rigid
and all that kind of stuff. So there's a meekness about it that I have to show
up where I can still have control, but I don't have to dominate. All right.
Sometimes this boss babes, if you're a boss, babe, you get this. We can, you know,
we can be strong will, we can have like all this power, all that kind of stuff.
And really it just like it, you got to just, sometimes it's like,
sometimes you get more when you're soft. Right. So that's with that being said, let's work on
being soft, vulnerable, gentle. We can still be strong, but we don't have to be rigid.
We want to be approachable. Okay. Men want women that are approachable. Okay.
Cause let me tell you men, women can be intimidating for men. I was told early on
before I met Jackie by my therapist and he's, he's wonderful. He's just like, you're intimidating,
you're intimidating to men. And I was like, what do you mean? So it's, you know, it's not
necessarily a bad thing. It was being able to channel my divine feminine so that it was
approachable and that men could feel at ease around me and know that, you know,
and then they want to come in and men want to be those protectors and providers and they want to
feel masculine. Okay. And so I have to sometimes take a seat to my like boss, babe, let's get,
get her done type mentality that my husband can come in and like, you know, be the problem solver
and be like, okay, this is how we go do it. All right. Another trait of the divine feminine
Another trait of the divine feminine is being receptive. So we are physically and spiritually
made to be receivers. All right. So it's just being able to take in and receive.
And so I know some of you and I, like I, I struggled with this. Some of y'all are going
on dates and you have a hard time allowing men to pay for you. Raise your hand. If like,
that makes you uncomfortable, nobody here. Okay. Kaylee, Kylie, Kylie. Sorry. My,
my screen's a little small here. Yes. I get that. I had a really hard time because I was like,
oh my gosh, men are just going to think I'm a gold digger and that's not what I am. And da da da da
no, like men want to be able to do that. Now with time, like after a few dates and you're starting,
maybe you're into a level three, like, yeah, there's times that you can share the cost.
All right. I had to do that in my long distance relationship. My husband and I,
like we were always traveling to go see each other before we got married.
He was the majority of the time he's like, you know, made the most money he helped out,
but there were times I'm like, Hey, let me go ahead and cover this. Oh, Hey, let me go ahead
and, um, grab our drinks here or whatever. Like I would find ways to help like contribute,
but it's okay. Ladies to allow the men to pay for you. Okay. God had to show me how to get
comfortable with that. He used one of, um, a college friend of mine that moved from
Chicago down to Florida at the time. And we were hanging out while I was in this program
and I considered it a date. It wasn't a guy that I was going to date. Like he wasn't a romantic
interest. He was like one of my good college buddies, but I was like, God showed me like,
even my guy friends could pay for me and it was okay. And they enjoyed doing.
that. Like sometimes guys actually like that. Okay, so
it's totally okay to be receptive and receive and take
in and and allow them to do things for you. Some of you have
a hard time asking men to help you out around. Like at the
store, like I used to like me and the girls in my community
when I joined this, this program, we used to make trips
to Home Depot and Lowe's because that's where men were. And so we
would go out. And it was like a thing like us ladies, like we
would go in our community and our and we would share, hey,
went to Home Depot today, you know, ask this guy to help me
know, grab a can of paint off the top shelf, figured it out
myself. I could have done it, right? I was a single
independent woman, right? Like, that's how we all like to think.
But I purpose like we purposely made an effort to allow men to
come help us. Let men open your doors, ladies. Okay. I know I
used to live in Florida. And now I live in Texas. Let me tell you,
Texas has some really great gentlemen. So yeah, like if
you're open a long distance, you don't live to Texas, look for a
Texas man. Because those men love to open your doors. Like my
husband yells at me, not yells, but he gets on me and makes me
shut my door if I open my own door. And like sometimes I'm
like, babe, it's Texas. It's it's 150 degrees like I need
air, like get me out of this car. Like, I'll let you open my
door, but I better see you sprinting to my door. Otherwise,
I'm going to need to like relieve myself. But let men do
those things for you. So if that speaks to some of you ladies,
I'm going to activate you ladies this week. Allow, allow a man to
help you this week. Let a man open your door. You know, go to
Home Depot. I mean, find something that maybe you need to
do around your house and like ask, ask a guy for his advice.
Hey, I've got I've got to change my my doorknob like which one of
these do you think is a better doorknob like like, whatever,
like just try it. Like guys like to do that. They like to
feel important. So be willing to receive from guys. And then the
last one I'm going to talk about is fun. All right. This is
something that I always have to work on is sometimes because
again, I can get in my zone I can get in my control. Like we
have a mission and we got something to complete. But
sometimes I forget to let my hair down and have fun. All
right, men do like youthful, playful spirit. Okay. It
doesn't mean that you can't be serious at times if you're like
me, because I'm like, I can't be fun all the time. Like sometimes
we gotta get serious. I'm not saying that you have to be fun
all the time. But you can get serious at times. But be willing
to let your hair down. Let men see a fun, playful side to you.
Especially on those dates, go do activities, go miniature
golfing, go to go to Topgolf go, we have a thing. We had it
in Sarasota, where I originally was from. But they have them now
here in the Dallas Fort Worth area. It's called pop stroke.
It's like Topgolf, but for miniature golf, and it looks
like a golf course, like, go have fun doing that. Go axe
throwing, go bowling, go, go let your hair down, have fun. Okay,
find dates that you can do that. Okay, because men do like to see
that. Um, cool. All right. Huh, I feel like I've been talking a
really long time. I want to give you ladies an opportunity here.
So, um, I'm going to go ahead. It's like 40 minutes after so
it's 22. So I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to, we're
going to go ahead and do our breakouts. And we'll have some
fun with it. And then we can come back and we can touch on a
few more topics. And then I'm going to take y'all's question.
But let's get let's get some fun. Let's get you all talking.
Is there anybody that's on here that cannot unmute? I'd like to
know ahead of time. Because I'm gonna put you in breakout rooms.
I know some of you are not on camera. But I'm hoping that you
can unmute. So I'm going to go ahead and copy and paste what I
want you ladies to share with your sisters. See if this works.
Okay. Alright, so I got it in the chat. So the first one, I
just want you all to have a little bit of fun here. Okay, I
know some of you are not ready for dating yet. Okay, that's
totally fine. Don't freak out. Okay. I want you ladies to start
sharing some of
your ideas with each other about fun dating questions.
Okay, and then practice your responses to those questions.
Because here's the thing,
you can get to know your sisters
with some of the same questions.
It's no different when you're going on a first date
with a guy than when you're hanging out
with your girlfriends,
or you're getting to know a new girlfriend.
All right, so think of some fun questions
where they're just get to know you questions.
So you might have your go-to question on dates.
So share that with your sister.
Let's start generating some ideas
because I know a lot of times people are like,
oh, like I'm on this first date
and I don't know what to talk about.
I don't know what to ask because oftentimes,
like if you were like me, I was deep dived.
I mean, I was like giving everybody my life story.
Like we don't wanna do that,
but let's have some like fun, lighthearted,
you know, interesting questions.
I put on there, if you're stuck,
Google fun dating questions.
There's tons of them.
So find a really fun one,
share that with one of your sisters
and then respond to each other's question, okay?
Take about 90 seconds a piece to do that.
And then what I want you ladies to do
is think about those divine feminine traits
that we talked about and share with your sisters
in your breakout rooms,
which one you wanna lean in to a little more this week
and how you're gonna put that into action, okay?
Any questions about that?
Good.
All right, let me get these breakout rooms going.
There we go, breakout rooms.
All right.
All right, and I might have to move some of you around too.
So just bear with me.
I'm gonna open them up.
Y'all have the questions, right?
I know I think a few people just jumped on.
Hopefully you get into a room
with somebody that has the questions.
If you can't, you should still be able to see them
even when you go into your breakout room in the chat, okay?
All right.
They are open ladies.
Go ahead and accept.
But yeah, like use those questions with other people
to help guide your program.
Okay?
All right.
All right, got it.
Use those questions with other women
as you're getting to know them.
Like I know some of you ladies have expressed
that you're just not sure you're ready to date yet,
which is totally fine,
but it doesn't mean that you can't go out
and make some new friends, like even girlfriends,
because maybe a new girlfriend that you meet
may have a connection that is your spirit mate.
So I like asking those questions
and I like helping you ladies remember,
like dating doesn't have to be all about the pressure.
It literally can be, you know,
just even getting out there and getting to know people.
So I think, did someone have their hand up?
Nicole, did you have your hand up?
Oh, I did.
I was just saying, I agree.
Like I was saying, oh, agreeing with whatever you were saying
but I can also tell you what me and my person,
Teresa, we talked about if that's where you're going, but.
Yeah, no, go for it.
I was gonna say, I'm gonna open the floor.
I want you ladies to like, you know,
let's just start having conversation here.
I know a lot of times I take questions
and sometimes I get like crickets,
but like we can talk and you ladies can share
like anything that you want to share about it.
It doesn't have to be like a guy that you're dating
or whatever or anything like that.
It literally, whatever you want to share in this group,
like it's, this is your community, like this is your time.
So I would love to hear what y'all talked about.
Yeah, so we talked about some fun questions
and I think for me, one of the bigger things
that I like to find out from the guys,
like what do you like to do for fun?
Because for me, I love to have fun.
Like I want to rent a car and put the top down.
I want to go play pickleball.
Let's go throw some axes.
Let's go for a hike.
Let's, you know, let's get a group of people together
and take a trip someplace.
I'm all about having fun and like going to waterfalls
and all that fun stuff.
I think for me, like if they say something like,
and I know that's kind of a generic question,
but it's an important question to me.
Because if they say, oh, well, it's football season.
I'm like, oh heck no, my guys.
I mean, this joker is about to sit in front of the TV for hours and hours.
Like I get watching a little bit of football, but that's not going to be
my life during football season.
Like I want to hear like, well, it's football season, so I like
to watch a little bit of that.
But I like to be active too and go and do like, if it's that, then that's one thing.
But it's like, Oh, I'm a diehard this fan.
I would be like, okay, well, you're going to die hard, right.
With them.
Cause I ain't doing it now.
I'm not the one I like, you're not going to be more loyal to the football
team than you are to our relationship.
So that's something for me.
Like, I, I love to like, have fun lap.
Like I want to laugh.
I want to eat good food.
I want to go have coffee and just like have fun.
And I want to laugh.
Like I'm hilarious.
I love that.
I love that you can ask that question.
I love it.
You can ask that question.
And then, you know, like if someone responds, like, you know, like, okay,
that might not work for me.
Like, or you can find out more information, like, okay, so you really
love football, so what's that look like to you?
Like, you know, cause again, ladies, we are getting into football season.
See, I was opposite Nicole.
I was the girl that was like, I will, I will fantasy
football with the best of them.
I'm all about watching it.
I'm a sports girl.
Like totally love that.
So that's where you see, like you start meeting people and it doesn't mean
that you completely write them off.
You can still go on a date, but it didn't have to be romantic, but you
can learn a little bit more about them.
See, like ask them what that looks like.
So for like, for one person, it's like, I love football, but I'm
going to be watching like my team.
I'm going to be watching like, you know, the Indianapolis Colts.
I don't really care about any of the other teams.
I just want to watch this team.
Or like, my husband is a Dallas Cowboys fan.
Like he, plus my husband, he loves sports, but I'm more of
the sports nut than he is.
Like he has to ask me questions.
I'm like, it's funny, but I love that.
Like, so, and again, that's a really good question too.
It's like, what do you like to do for fun on the weekends?
What's your typical Sunday look like?
So you can be asking that question.
I know a lot of you ladies like that question, cause you want to
know, is the man going to church?
Like, right.
That's our like street way of seeing if they're a believer or not.
Right.
But if for you, you might want to know, is he like in a sports bar from, you
know, one o'clock till eight o'clock at night, because he's watching all of the
games because they do that in sports bars.
I used to work at a sports bar and you had all the games on fantasy football.
Like that's what you want to watch.
You want to see how your players is doing.
So I love that.
I love that.
That's one of your questions.
So just to specify, I don't mind like that.
They want to watch football.
I love going to football games.
Like I will go to a football game.
Let's go have some fun.
Let's cheer on.
I love all that.
But when they're like, I have like family members, male family members
that are married, you know, to my aunts, whatever, whatever.
And they will literally miss family events where they never see the family.
And then they're in town and they're going to drink at the
bar and also like watch football.
I'm like, I see, like, I get being packed.
Like I'll sit around and watch pickleball for a few hours.
Like I get that.
I don't care.
But if that, if they're one of those people that are like so obsessed that
were that are my life is that the whole season, I'm like, no, my guy, I can't.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
It's just not like you can see like, oh, they like football.
But you're like, okay, tell me what that looks like.
Let's go.
And you can kind of like, see how do they respond to that?
Are they, can they balance it?
Well, like that's important.
So you see ladies, how these questions can really help you see a little bit
more and then you start seeing what you like, what you don't like.
And it doesn't mean that you write men off, right?
Like, so Nicole saying like, Hey, it doesn't, I can go to a football game,
but she's, she's already aware of what she likes and what she doesn't like.
So that's what she's getting to know a little more.
She's not cutting the guy off.
She's not cutting and running.
Still entertaining it.
She's getting to learn a little bit about them.
Yeah.
Go have a date.
See if there's any other things that you have in common with them.
Cause I'll tell you, there's things that my husband and I, we
just do not have in common.
Like, I don't mind going to movies.
I like, I like movies.
He's obsessed with needing to go to the movie theater all the
time.
Like, that's just not my thing.
So sometimes I'm like, honey, why don't you go take one of the kids?
Like, I don't need to sit and be in a movie theater.
I like to be in my comfy clothes on my couch and I will just, I'll spend less
money buying it on digital than I will to movie theater.
So there's things like that you will have in common with your spouse.
And then there's other things that you won't, and it doesn't mean like you
don't marry a person because of that, but you get to see what you.
like what you don't like, how you want that to show up in a relationship.
So all good things.
Love it.
I have a question, Carla, when it comes to that is like one thing that I think,
and I don't know if this is, I'm genuinely asking you, but like, I think
it's like, I am a very quality time person.
And when I'm with someone, like I want to be with them, but I also think it's
nice when we, cause I'm sure that like, we want to have, like, if they are
interested in something different or I'm different, you know, it's nice to be able
to like, do those things too.
And like, kind of go off and have your, you time and kind of like, not like a
bunch, but like, I'm very quality time.
So it's actually hard for me to even say that, but I also know I need my time too.
Cause I've I'm 39 years old and I've never been married.
So it's like, I'm sure I'm going to be like, Hey, I just need a little, like
maybe a little bit of time, like an hour, you know?
No, I think that's really healthy.
And I like, I, I can just share kind of from my own experience.
So I also, I was, I was 39 when I met my husband now I'd never been married.
Um, and so I wasn't used to having someone around all the time.
I kind of, my youngest son, he would go to school.
He'd go to his dad every other weekend.
So I was used to going out and having time, but I also like quality time.
I like to spend time with a person.
My husband was married before he was a widow.
Um, and so he was, he was used to married life.
Now his wife had, um, I think he had been passed for a little
under four years when we met, but he had other relationships that he was in after.
Um, and he is like, he would, he would spend all his time with me if he could.
And I'm like, okay, I love you, honey, but I need my space.
So we've had to learn, like, he would even want to go to the grocery store with me.
And I'm like, you walk too slow and we make too much time at the grocery store.
Like, I love you, but honey, can I just, I need to just go grocery shopping by myself.
I don't even like to bring my kids.
Like, even when I was a single mom, I dropped my kid off at school.
And like, I'd have like maybe two hours before I had to be at work.
I was running to the grocery and getting my grocery shopping done.
I just want to get in, get out and get what I need.
I do not want to spend.
I will tell you, like, before I finally had that moment with my husband, we would
spend like four or five hours at grocery stores and I'm like, I can't do this.
I'm like crazy.
So I think it's healthy.
Like you, you will learn what your quality time will look like and what
your time away will look like.
My husband, he doesn't need time away.
Like he's, he could be around me all the time, whatever.
Me on the other hand, like, I, I'm a little bit more like, believe it or not,
ladies, I am a bit introverted.
Okay.
I think they call them an ambivert.
I like to be around people and all that kind of stuff, but my energy gets
depleted and I have to recharge by spending time by myself.
And so I've learned that in my marriage and in my new family, like now I'm
surrounded by three kids and a husband where before it was just me and my
youngest, like I'm learning, I have to, to, to plan and communicate
when I need space and time.
And so there's a healthy balance of doing that.
So I don't think there's anything wrong with being quality person, but also.
Communicating with the person, what your needs are, when you need
space and time and learning that.
And that will come with, again, that just comes with time it's growing, it's
learning, like, and I'm sure like if any of you have been married before, like
Teresa, I think you've been married, so you could probably attest, like you
will spend all that time still learning about a person, like you're still always
learning new things and having to adjust.
And so that will, that will come.
So you'll, you'll learn what works for you and yourself.
Yeah.
I was going to also say that when Teresa and I were talking, the second question
was just like, what are you working on with like the divine feminine, like
qualities, like to, and for me, I hate this, this terminology, but it's okay
if other people like it, but cause it had such a stigma behind it, but being a boss
lady, like I am that I own my own business and I'm, you know, by the grace
of God, you know, he's blessed it.
And I'm great at what I do, but I also handle business.
Like I just am good at what I do.
So for me, I've had to learn to, I was telling Teresa, I went out on a boat
with several people, guys and girls.
The guy, there was this one guy driving the boat.
He probably shouldn't have been, long story short.
They asked me for, they were like,
Nicole, you know this area, you know, whatever.
We're on the boat, I was like, oh yeah, so.
They came over, the girl that rented the boat,
she was asking me, well then this other guy got up
and the two guys were trying to figure it out.
And old Nicole would have been like,
over there trying to chime in and help.
But I was like, these two guys, I'm gonna let them do it.
Because he's driving the boat, she's asking, you know.
I just knew my place in the sense of like,
if they want my help, they'll ask me,
but these guys are gonna do it themselves.
I was telling Teresa, it's hilarious,
because 45 minutes later, we're still looking
for the right place to turn into
and I could have figured it out so much sooner.
But you know what, I was just living my best life.
I was sitting hanging out.
Yeah, and you're going on the adventure.
Yeah, we were on the adventure.
We had nothing better to do, you know what I mean?
So I was like, you know what?
We get to ride around the boat a little bit longer.
They got lost a few times, that's fine too.
I was just chilling.
So anyway, that's one thing like my whole life,
like I'm very solution-based, very like resolution.
I try to be a part of the, you know,
solution and help and figure stuff out.
And that's compassion and empathy to me
is like helping and figuring out solutions and stuff.
So me sitting back, even things in other areas
with my brother and stuff,
me sitting back and just letting men be men,
just having the self-control to be like,
you know, this is what I know we should do right now,
but I'm just gonna let them do it.
And that has been something I had to learn.
And in the last year, I would say that like,
God's really helped me in that, like.
I love that.
And ladies, like I want you to hear what she's saying.
Like, this is what this program can give,
like this gives fruit.
Like this is the fruit of this program.
It's recognizing so many different areas of your life
and how you can apply it in just life in general.
Like the divine feminine, you can show up differently.
It doesn't necessarily mean like that's what you use
to go out and date and all that kind of stuff.
It's just you being the best version of yourself
and learning how to navigate that.
And so you'll learn that even that,
just learning that piece is helping prepare you
for what you're gonna step into in marriage
and learning out when do you allow your husband
to kind of take the lead?
And when it's going to be beneficial for you as a wife
to step in with your gifts and talents,
being able to do that.
So all important things.
So I always stress oftentimes on these calls,
just when you're dating, it's not just finding the husband.
And if you let go of this idea of, is this my husband?
Is this not my husband?
And really look at it as this is a growing opportunity.
Like what does God wanna show me through these dates,
through this experience,
as I'm preparing for when God's ready
to bring my spirit mate into my life.
It's really easy.
Like I know sometimes we get zero focused
in the now you've been through hard work, we're dating.
And it's like, you just want the husband right away.
Like that's a lot of people have that mentality.
And so, but, and then they get, they find themselves
with discouragement, loneliness, disappointment
because it's not happening in their time.
But I want you to understand there is,
what does Jackie say?
She talks about there is always a process
that comes with the promise.
And sometimes there's just a process.
It's not saying that you can't have that.
It's just saying, I'm going,
God's gonna walk you through a process
and help prepare you so that when he's ready
to give that to you, you're stewarding it well,
you're cherishing it.
And it's such a gift and just being able to embrace that.
And so taking this time to learn more about yourself
and to show up as your best self.
And sometimes that doesn't even look like, I mean,
doesn't even have to be involved in dating.
Like you, like for me, it took me a while
to get out there and date,
but I was still learning so much in this program.
And it helped me prepare for when I was ready
to step out into dating.
And then my husband came and we met
and I was able to kind of just already go on solid ground.
I was already really established,
like God had taken me through a process.
And then it's also helping me through the season
that I'm in right now.
Cause let me tell you, there are struggles
and there is hardship that comes with marriage.
Like there is, you're blending, I'm blending family.
So I have a son and he has two kids.
I moved from Florida to Texas.
There's so many different things that happen.
And so just embrace this season right now that you're in
and just glean everything that you can
and learn the most about yourself and how to apply it.
I'm done talking. I'm going to give the floor back to y'all.
Teresa, you had your hand raised.
What do you want to share with us?
When you're talking about dating and how it helps you to grow and stuff like that,
Nicole and I did also talk about
a previous boyfriend that I had before I got married.
It was a very serious relationship.
We lasted for two years and he was really fun to be around and all this stuff.
One thing that I realized after we were not together anymore
is that he lied to me a lot.
Things started coming out and I started thinking about things differently
that he had told me.
I can be a little too trusting sometimes
because I personally feel like lying is...
except for the I'm fine and those little things.
But generally, I'm not someone who lies, right?
I can't afford it in other people.
When you were talking about it growing you and stuff,
I feel like it prepared me for when I met my husband.
Not that he lied or anything like that,
but I just found myself a little more discerning after that
because I just took everything he said as the gospel
and whatever he said, it must be true.
Even the part about he professed to be a Christian,
but there were quite a few things that didn't really line up that well with that.
He would go to church, but only because he was going to church with me.
Yeah.
There was a lot of those sorts of things that I started looking for
a little differently when I met my husband.
And I feel like it did help.
Yeah, I love that because you brought up something too
because I had a similar situation.
So my son's dad was very much like your ex-boyfriend
before you met your husband,
that professed to be a Christian, went to church, did all those things,
and then things started unraveling.
And I noticed he did a lot of lying and stuff like that as well.
And instead of going into it,
like I had this program where I was able to process through that experience.
So ladies, you can go back and process through those past relationships
and learn from them even now.
You can go back and say, okay, what was my part in this?
How did I not show up?
How can I, and not to shame me, not to guilt me,
because again, it wasn't about my fault.
It was, I just didn't know better.
So now that I have new information, go back and reflect,
like how, like, was I too trusting?
What did that look like?
Should I have asked more questions?
Should I have paced the relationship?
Should I, which that I should have done.
You know, there was so many things.
And so when I showed up after this program,
then I was able to kind of come back and reassess.
And then again, like show up as you're a better self
and learn more about yourself.
And so that, you know, you're not falling into those same traps.
And again, it doesn't have to be a blame game.
You don't have to have shame and guilt with it.
And you don't have to sit there and then be under suspect.
I mean, like, everybody's going to lie to me.
Like, it doesn't have to be that.
Again, it's going back into that God defended.
Okay, what steps can I do to help myself?
So I love that.
I love that you shared that, Teresa.
Thank you so much.
Ziggy, you've got your hand raised.
And then I'm going to also look at the,
what am I trying to say?
The chat box.
Ziggy, hi, how are you?
Welcome face two.
Thank you, thank you.
Well, when you were talking about becoming your best self,
it reminded me of what Carly and I talked about
in the breakout.
We are both similar in a way that we like to deep dive.
And when we looked at the first video,
I'm like, what do you mean staying on the surface
in the first days?
I am going deep.
I want to know this person.
How can I be myself if I have to be superficial?
I know that's not what it is,
but I mean, in my trade,
I want to dive into this week is wisdom.
How can I keep my heart
and how can I get substance without diving deep?
So I guess that's something,
if you want to coach us on that or me.
Yeah, so that's where, like, again,
like that's why I hope when you ladies
were in your breakout rooms
and talking about questions like dating questions,
it's being able to take that dating question
and then learn a little bit more about somebody.
And also, like, so like Nicole was saying,
like, what do you like to do for fun?
What's your weekend look like?
If they're saying football, then guess what?
she's going to probably ask more questions about well what does that look like who's your favorite
team so then you're starting oh you know have you been to football games um you know do you
go to them often and then you can maybe oh i remember one time when i went to a football game
and this is what happened like you see how then it starts becoming more of a conversation and you
learn a little bit more about somebody i also think it's important to remind you all that you
don't have to find out everything in one day it's okay to have several dates before you make a
choice of whether or not you want to continue getting to know a person it can take three four
dates before you really decide do i want to continue to get to know them and even then you
don't have to decide right out the gate whether or not you really like the person or not like
my husband and i like we were you know messaging back and forth and in talking because our
situation is different because again we're long distance when you have long distance sometimes
it looks a little different you know there was conversations that we had that i was like okay
that was a very like something that maybe god downloaded to me that you know i would have in
common with my husband and then there was other conversations that we had and i'm like i don't
know about this guy i'm not sure you know and i wasn't i wasn't fully sure right away and so it
took several weeks for me to warm up to the fact of whether or not i really wanted to invest a lot
of time with this person it's okay like you don't have to find out everything and you don't have to
go after a first date whether or not it's a love connection or not like honestly like jackie will
even mention oftentimes if you meet someone and it's instantaneous and there's romance and there's
like physical attraction and all that a lot of times that's not the healthiest way to start out
a relationship so sometimes it really is about like looking at it is you want to date your best
friend you want to get to know them and get to know them as a best friend again like not and i don't
like the word surface level because it is still like you can still have like good high quality
conversation you're just not getting into the x files and the drama and the trauma and the you
know you're not going to like oh yeah like because my big thing was again i was a single mom so it
was like telling everybody my story about how i became a single mom yeah my son's dad left me at
seven months pregnant and you know we had a toxic relationship and he said this to me and all that
like no we don't want to go down that territory we just like yeah i i have a kid um i'm a single
parent like he goes to his dad's you know every other weekend and and left it very just you know
and i didn't even give a lot of information even about my kid because again complete stranger i'm
not gonna i'm not gonna overshare to a complete stranger so it really is just it's okay to take
time to get to know somebody you don't have to go those deep dive conversations so hopefully and
again like i said those questions using those questions and i hope that you know what maybe
what we should do is if you had a good question or someone shared a good question let's go share it in
the app and let's start just putting those out there and we can talk about how we can turn those
into conversations so it doesn't have to be like so what do you like to do on the weekend um i
go to church like or oh i go out to eat okay like let's let's make conversation out of it so oh you
like football who's your favorite team like have you been to any games what was your favorite game
like you know start building a conversation relate it to yourself maybe if it's not oh well i you
know i've never been interested in football but um you know i have a brother that was a baseball
player and i remember going to his baseball games have you ever thought about you know do you ever
watch baseball do you have a favorite baseball team do you see how you can kind of flip and turn
it and make it conversation does any of that help it does it's still for me i mean it's it's
such a wide range for me it still feels superficial in a way i think i have a way to go there and also
well practice it could just take practice going out there and putting it into practice and
because if it's not something that you're used to doing there's going to maybe be a little bit
uncomfortableness with it and so it's just practice it and and
wait for it to be more comfortable for you.
You got anything else?
Well, yeah. Because I've had this first date this week.
My tendency is that,
I mean, it was just a half hour phone conversation,
but I felt like, okay,
this is not my spirit mate.
He wasn't dangerous or anything,
and he would like to do it again.
I'm thinking, sure, we can talk again.
Maybe it's good for practice,
but I know he's not the one.
I already have that in my mind and I'm like,
why would I want to lead him on or how do I get out of
this later on if I talk to him?
That's a good question. I like that you're like,
how do I get out of this later on?
Again, you're not fully invested in this.
You've gone on one date.
If you decide to go on another two or three dates,
after that, it's really simple.
You can say, look, I really do
appreciate you spending time with me and getting to know me.
We've spent a few dates together.
I don't see this going anywhere romantic,
so I appreciate your time and I wish you the best of luck.
You can still get out of it.
It's all about communication.
You're not leading anybody on.
It becomes leading on when you ladies are kissing,
hugging, really throwing the flirt on real heavy.
If you're being seductive,
that's where it's like if you're being tempting and then you're like,
oh, okay, I'm done.
That to me is,
that's when you're leading somebody on.
You're trying to get something from somebody,
and then once you get what you have,
you're like, okay, bye.
You're not doing that. You're in practice.
You're getting to know someone.
You're invested in that.
After a couple of dates,
you're not kissing and making out and doing all those things.
You're just spending time with somebody.
After a second or third date,
and if you're like, I'm not sure I see this going anywhere romantic.
I appreciate the time that we've spent.
I wish you the best of luck.
That's how you can end it.
Now, I will say there has been many women on our community
where they met their husband and at first they were not attracted to them at all.
They were like, yeah, I don't know if I can do this.
But they gave it time to get to know them,
and then they realized that they were compatible in certain things and there
were good things that they really liked about the person, like their husband.
That started drawing the attraction out.
That's why we do encourage,
don't just shut the door on a first date,
but give it a couple,
especially if you didn't have a horrible time.
We're not saying go out with a guy that's disrespectful and rude a third time,
a second or third time.
But if it was an okay time,
then go have another date.
You might learn something new about them, about yourself.
It's always helpful.
But there is a way of getting out and it's, again,
just reminding like you're not leading anybody on.
It's not like you're saying,
oh, look, I'm going to give this to you and then bye.
No, we're not doing that.
That's why we encourage no physical contact of that kind.
We're not swapping saliva with several different men.
We wait to kiss somebody when we are in an exclusive relationship.
We set those boundaries.
I'll tell you, you'll learn about a man when you start putting some of those boundaries down.
You will find out real quick whether or not you need to end it or not.
I see two more hands.
I want to go back. I just don't want to miss anything anybody said in the chat.
Yes, Alexis.
I always spend less money when I don't have my kids with me either,
because I usually go off my list and I'm not having the kids tell me,
oh, can we get this? Can we get this?
Nicole, also something important you said was have fun.
You found that you were so serious and men wanted to have a good time.
We are all so fun in our own ways,
but guys want and need to see that.
Not taking things too serious, because that comes through during dates.
Yes, because again, especially in the beginning, just go out and have fun.
There's so much time for the seriousness when you all have your exclusive relationships.
Okay, Teresa, she shared some of those questions.
What travel experiences and vacations do you have?
Vacations. Have you enjoyed that's my favorite question because I love to travel. I
Love seeing new places
There are certain places that I've been to that I just would go back to so you can have
That in itself if you are a travel person
You can have a lot of conversations and talk about your past travel experiences and some of the fun times that you've had
And you see how you don't have to be so surface level
But you can share a little bit of peace about you and then you can also show like oh
Like what you enjoy because of things that you've done on vacations or you know
What they would enjoy and does that match up like if you're a travel person?
You're gonna want to make sure that you're probably have some compatibility in wanting to travel with them as well
that was one of the first conversations that my husband and I had on our first date is
We are both wine drinkers
He is more bougie with his wine drinking than I am like I thought I was like pretty you know
Seasoned because I was in the restaurant business. So I was all like I liked to learn about wine
Oh, he took the cake on that one
And so we talked about red wine and he's like, you know
Some of his favorite red wines are out of Napa and I'm like, oh have you ever been to Napa?
He's like no, but I want to go and I'm like, I want to go
I've never been and that's all my bucket list. And so we talked about that. And then when we started dating we were like
Let's plan a trip and I honestly thought we were gonna plan a trip and that was where I was gonna get proposed to
Well, we never ended up taking that Napa trip until our one-year anniversary
I even thought we would do that for our honeymoon and that didn't happen
So it was important like having those conversations like you learn
Like is this like someone I want to do life with can they travel with me?
Do they want to travel that was important for me. So I love I love that question
Favorite memory favorite dreams are what is your dream job?
So yeah, I love those. Those are good questions. So ladies write those down
You put those in your put those in your back pocket. Okay
All right, Nicole had to leave awesome. I think I think she's already left. So
Kylie and then Nicole the other Nicole. Let's take your questions Kylie. I see your hand first and then I'll jump to Nicole
Mine wasn't really a question. I was just gonna say, um, I
Actually posted on the chat for a list of questions. I like that you should ask or like good ideas to ask on date
So if everyone wants to comment on that, that would be like really awesome in in the chat here and our thing
In the last year single so ebony wrote like a whole bunch of prompts below that and I think one other person commented
I can't remember but there's ideas there. I don't know
Like I can't yeah, I'm I'm gonna start learning. I'm gonna start
Putting down a list of things and see if like once we get some of the glitches if there's other things that we can
Add for the developers to add to our app to make it a little bit more user-friendly in that nature
But yeah, I mean for now just scroll down and
And add to it and then that way you can you know, and I wonder you know, we might even I'll talk to Bethany
Maybe I could even pin the post so it's at the top
so a lot of times like things that Jackie myself and
Bethany have shared and ebony have shared that those will be at the top in their pin post
So maybe we can look into doing that as well and putting a pin post in there for you ladies to like grab those questions
So Kylie, thank you so much for reminding us that you did that
So for now ladies go search for that
Because like she said people put stuff under them and then let's just keep adding to it
And then we can pull that off and then we can create another
post and pin it and
then just continue to keep adding it and we could just update it as as
the weeks progress
Sound good
All right, Nicole you had your hand up
How are you
I think you're the only Nicole in the room now
Thanks, no, I was reflecting on what he said earlier and just just wanted to add a comment to that
When I first became widowed
It's different than your scenario
I recognize but I remember getting feedback from my friends saying if you when you're ready
you need to put yourself out there and
And show an attitude of readiness, you know, and so when you were saying Sigi about
You knew right away. It wasn't your spirit mate
I'm having a struggle with knowing who my you know
The spirit mate thing because that's the stakes are extremely high when it gets to that point
So I'm blending what somebody told me and say just go with the flow
flow for a little bit.
And that might be counterintuitive to you.
And from my experience and from that, those days
and it's three years ago till now,
it's a whole different ball game.
You know, I can learn how to be flirty with somebody
but not like leading them on.
And I love what you said, I can't remember your name.
Oh, you're muted.
Arla.
Arla, I love what you said right before we took our break
about go to Home Depot or someplace where men are
and practice letting them help you.
And I was like, OMG, goodness.
Because it was like, that was revolutionary for me
because I still get my back up if somebody asked me,
you know, because I don't want to appear or be vulnerable
but it's also nice to learn how to receive.
And so what I say to Siggy is there's a lot
of soft space that we have to get ourselves to
before we can start saying,
yes, this person might be my spirit mate,
you know, from the first section, first time you meet.
So that's what I've taken that on board.
And I thought that might be something of interest
for you to think about as well
because it's really helped me
because I'm trying to just take baby steps now
because when you get to spirit mate,
the stakes are really high at that point.
And so you want to be really as ready,
your heart work is done, you're ready to receive or not,
you know, but you're calm about it.
So that's, that was what came up to me
in my spirit as I was listening to you.
I love that.
Thank you so much for sharing that.
And like she said, like, yeah, like
we just want to be our best selves.
So it's just, sometimes it doesn't have to be a rush.
You don't have to like rush through it.
Just take the time, you know,
sometimes it is just taking those baby steps, you know,
and yeah, like do the heartwork that you can
because again, you're going to meet your spirit mate
and you're going to get invested
and there's going to be more things
that are going to get uncovered.
I always say like heartwork is never done.
There's going to be new things, new avenues,
like new person, like you're having,
you're blending two people, like two people become one.
There's just differences there.
And so you do, you have to,
when you show up as your best self
and you take in the time and the process,
it really does make that transition a lot easier.
I will tell you this much.
Like if I didn't work through
and do the things that I did in this program,
when I met my husband, I would have cut and run.
I mean, Jackie, in fact, Jackie had to tell me,
get off the ledge, stop trying to sabotage this
before you even met the person, like met this guy in person.
She's like, stop overthinking it.
Just go out and have fun and enjoy yourself.
And I was like, that was so hard for me.
I was like, but I just, like, I don't want to waste my time.
And so she's like, just go have fun.
So it is, and if I didn't like do the work
and I didn't take the advice,
like I would have cut and run so quick.
I mean, and I used to be like,
why do I have to wait so long?
Because some of you, like, you're like ready to go.
Like you want to meet him now?
Like, let's do it, right?
I was the same way.
And then I was like, but he's not coming.
Like, why isn't he?
I'm doing the work, I'm fine.
Like, why is everybody else getting their love story,
not me?
And I had to learn that like, it really,
it was God had to work on me
and I had to be ready to be able to accept
who he had for me.
Because one of my big things was I was very stubborn
because I was like, I'm not moving.
I'm not leaving Florida.
My husband was in Texas and I'm living in Texas now.
Like I was not ready.
If I would have met him and I've been like, boy, bye.
Like, so it is, it's a process like work.
Don't stress on the, is this my spirit mate?
Is this not?
It's just allow, give yourself time.
And it's totally okay.
I love what Nicole said that there's a lot of learning
that can take place.
And when you step into that spirit mate,
like you wanna be healed,
you wanna be ready to receive it.
Good, good stuff.
All right, anybody else?
We good?
I do have one question about masculinity
because we talk about like femininity.
Is there something, I did watch the video,
but is there like somewhere where it's written
like masculine traits that we should be looking for?
I don't really know.
for in men besides like marriage minded and yeah.
It's like, I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm just curious.
Like, I'm not sure.
And I'm glad you said that,
Like, I don't know.
I don't know.
cause I know somewhere I have some of this written down,
I don't know.
but yes, there, we talk about the three M's,
we talk about the three M's,
about them being marriage minded,
about them being mature and about them being masculine.
If you, I can look into, I'm not fine,
cause I was interested in that too,
cause we talk about the divine feminine,
but we're like, okay, we're looking for the three M's
and one of those masculine, what's that mean?
So I did have it written down.
I know a few off the top of my head.
One of them is obviously like couple provider protector,
the masculine is identity giver.
So if you think about like,
if you think about just even the chromosomes, right?
Like when babies are made,
man is the DNA that determines the sex of the baby,
determines whether or not it's a boy or girl.
So divine masculine is identity giver.
So men have the ability to speak identity into people.
So what this relates to for me,
like ways that it's come up in my life.
So for example, my son's father,
now I've gone through a lot of healing here.
I can appreciate my son's father
for the fact that he's the one
that came up with my son's name.
My son's name is Bo, his middle name is Garrett.
So his name is Bo Garrett.
And when I was looking, what does that name mean?
Cause I'm into like meanings of names and stuff
and it being prophetic,
it was beautiful warrior, beautiful defender.
And so I remember thinking to myself
and praying like, yes, Lord,
I want my son to be a beautiful defender for God's kingdom.
Lord, I believe that that's what you have called him to be.
And he's going to step into that.
That's going to be his identity.
And I realized to me that his father
is the one that gave him the name
and spoke that identity into him.
Now, his dad is not a huge believer, right?
He gave me the fluff that he was a Christian,
but he does not have a strong relationship with the Lord.
But that doesn't mean that he couldn't give identity.
And now even my husband, who's taking on that father role,
he does a beautiful job of speaking identity into our kids
of what they are.
Now, it doesn't mean that I don't speak those things
in my kids, like God has shown me
of like certain things about all of our kids.
Like my daughter,
I believe that she's going to be a strong influencer.
And I see that because I also see how the enemy
is trying to take the worldly influence and shift her.
And she's easily influenced by some of the wrong things.
And so I'm constantly speaking into her,
like we got to combat the influences of the world
and influence of people that we don't want
and remember who God says you are and whose you are.
And so, because you are going to influence other
for that same thing.
So it doesn't mean that we can't speak the identity,
but the masculine does have that trait.
Again, so provider, protector,
those are the ones that come off the top of my head,
but I will make note to see if we can't find like a way
to maybe get a document up in the near future
of being able to do that.
But if you go back into the Divine Feminine video,
because I'd stop and pause.
She doesn't talk about it a really long time,
but there are times that she does talk
a little bit about it.
But I think those are good questions
because yeah, we want masculine men.
Like, do they have, are they mature?
Do they have their stuff in check?
Like, are they getting wise counsel from other people,
other men?
Are they surrounding themselves with people
who are gonna hold them accountable spiritually,
emotionally, and things of that nature?
So hopefully that kind of helps a little bit,
but I will make note of that and see if I can't figure out
what we can do for finding like a document of sorts,
or maybe in the next time we do Divine Feminine
in four weeks, we can discuss a little bit
about the masculine as well.
And I do know that there is a document
and I can look into that as well
about what the three Ms look like.
So we go in a little bit more detail.
And again, if you are, if any of you have social media,
like not just Facebook, but Instagram and follow Jackie.
On that, I do know that she has several posts from the years previous about things like that.
So sometimes you can go search through her stories and stuff, I think, on Instagram.
I'm not a huge Instagram person. I'm not on there often. It takes a lot for me just to be on
Facebook. But there's those little circular things, like tabs. If you click on some of those,
you'll see some of her past posts and stuff. And so she has things on that as well.
So hopefully that helps. But yeah, so what were the masculine traits again? So
the ones that came to mind are like provider, protector, their identity giver.
Those are the top three that come to my mind. I'm drawing a blank on some of the other ones,
but I know that there were more. But those are the top three. But then we also talk about
ladies looking for the men with the three M's. That means they're marriage minded,
they're mature, and they're masculine, divine masculine. All right. I know sometimes people
are like, Oh, I just don't think he's very masculine, because they think he's got like,
he's, you know, shorter or smaller, like whatever. And it's like, well, let's like,
let's look at what divine masculine really means. So again, it's going back to go back
to the garden and think about like, who was Adam, like, before the curse, like,
and then after the feminine came out of him, right from his rib. But she does talk a little
bit about that and the divine feminine. I will say, ladies, I always say, rewatch those videos
a couple times. You'll get new information every time you watch them. I still watch them
and get new information that helps me in the season of life that I'm in. Okay.
Do we like keep hopping on these calls after we're done all five videos?
Or so this is, so we're not going to have you stay here for super long. Okay. All right. This
is like, okay. Four to five weeks watching the videos. Now, some of you are not like
going to watch all the videos in four to five weeks. Life happens. Some of y'all busy girls,
you know, moms going to school, have your own businesses work, you know, long hours and stuff.
So we get that you might be here longer than four or five weeks. But once you get through the
content and you've been there, then yes, after like, we don't mind if you come back like once
or twice, but once you move over to phase three, there's this type of like zoom calls for phase
three, it's just going to be larger. There's going to be more people in the community, which again,
like Jackie will call them love seats. And so that typically happens once a month and every now and
then like, so last Tuesday was a love seat Tuesday evening, and she'll invite phase two and phase
three and the men to a love seat. So you'll get a sneak peek of what that looks like. And then
there's other calls and, and, and video calls and stuff like that in phase three. So video calls
don't go away after you leave these two, it's just, we do more direct coaching as far as like,
you all are stepping into dating. So we want to allow this space for you to really get those
questions answered, where you're in a smaller forum where it's not the bigger community,
but there's still zoom calls in phase three. And like I said, the love seat are is very similar
to what we do here at the end of these calls where, you know, you ask your dating questions
or things that you're maybe struggling with or breakthroughs that you're having or direction
that you need or extra coaching that you might want some extra insight from Jackie,
Bethany, or any of the other coaches in phase three. Okay. All right. Anybody else?
Any last bit? We're kind of coming up to a two hour mark. So I want to be mindful of time because
we are going to have ladies watching and replay. So yeah. Because you mentioned the replays.
I'm one of the people that can't watch the replays. It's not working on my devices.
You mentioned on the cell phones, it works better, but on my Samsung, it doesn't. I have an Android.
Do you know is iPhone, you have the, you have the updated version. So you have the most updated
version. Okay. Definitely there is, and I might, I might have to follow up and make sure I'm giving
the right information. There should be a contact support button in the app that if you click on
that, you can, it's like a, like a ticket, like a thing that you can share, like, Hey,
I'm having a hard time, replays are not, but it's in your device.
So if you can go on your device and it's in the tech training app video.
Yeah.
Do you have that?
And you can watch that.
You just can't watch the replays.
Um, I can't, yeah, I can't watch the replays, but because it's on the, do you
guys know, is it working better on iPhones?
Is it an Android thing?
I have an iPhone.
I don't know if it's any better on an iPhone as it is a Android.
Does anybody, does anybody else have an iPhone and, and, and are they
having problems watching replays?
I have the iPhone and I can watch replays on my phone.
I cannot watch them on my desktop though.
I can watch them on my phone.
I haven't tried desktop though.
I have an iPhone.
Do you have an iPhone?
Does anybody have a Droid and is having a hard time watching replays
on the Droid besides Ziggy?
Tara, she's got hers usually plays on iPhone.
So yeah, maybe it, I will make a note of that as well.
And, um, it helps.
I have an old iPhone.
I might try to install it there.
Okay.
Yeah.
Like if you have like an iPad or a tablet or something, maybe try that.
Um, I'm going to go ahead and make a note so that I can, um, talk
with the team about that.
Things that, okay.
Yeah.
Cause that's what I was going to encourage you ladies.
I was going to activate you.
So if you can't watch the replay, obviously don't worry about this activation.
I was going to ask you ladies to go in and make sure that you watch the
supernatural Saturday and Sunday night activation, um, and then post your
takeaways that what stuck out the most to you, um, after watching the supernatural
Saturday and a Sunday activation.
If you can't watch the activation or the supernatural Saturday, I would say even
go back to supernatural Saturdays.
If you can, because I think it's going to help a lot of you ladies, especially
if some of you, like I noticed in the roll call, lots of people are
coming up with some fear stuff.
I think that will help if you watch two supernatural Saturdays ago,
and then even this last weekend.
But then again, if you cannot watch those yet, put those on your calendar to watch.
So once you can definitely watch those, um, but your activation, I want you to,
um, come into the community and share something that you did to
activate your divine feminine.
What, what trait did you activate?
Maybe some of you ladies are going to go to the home Depot or the
Lowe's or the hardware store.
You won't get help from a man.
You don't have a man to open your door.
Um, or maybe it's just wear a dress, maybe wear some color.
Maybe if you're like, like me, a lot of times I don't wear a whole lot of color.
I try to, a lot of my closet is like lots of blues, whites, and blacks.
Um, I have a hard time, like luckily my son plays for a team that has like red.
This is his, his travel ball team.
So I have a lot of like baseball gear that's red shirts.
So I'm starting to incorporate red into my wardrobe.
Not the most flattering color for me, but it, it, it, it's color.
Um, so maybe it's wearing something like with more pop of a color, a dress, go to
home Depot, ask a man for help.
Let them open your door.
Um, ask him for advice and then you're gonna post about that and
share about your experience there.
Okay.
But all right, that's our activation.
So make sure that you show up.
Like, again, I said, the best way to get the most out of this
community is show up and show up.
You know, in the app on these check-ins, any of the prayer calls that you can get
to, you will glean so much more.
All right.
I'm just going to do a quick prayer and then I will send you on your way ladies.
So Heavenly father, we thank you.
I just thank you so much for each one of these women that are here with us now
and that are watching and replay, even those women that were here
before, but had to leave Lord.
I just thank you for, for, you know, their divine feminine that, you
know, you created them to be gifts to humanity and Lord, I just ask that you
just continue to show them, um, their identity in you and that they can step
into that divine feminine that, that you've actually called and you've placed
in them, Lord, Lord, I, I, I pray courage and bravery over many of the women in
this community that need that courage and strength to face their fears and step
out of hiding.
Lord, I just ask that you soften the hearts and that you calm their nerves when it comes
to dating.
And Lord, that you know their path, you know where they need to be, Lord.
And I just pray that they continue to hear from you and that they get their direction
from you of what is the next best step for them.
Lord, I thank you for each and every one of them.
And I pray that they have a beautiful week and that they just continue to show up and
honor you and allow your light to shine through them.
So thank you, Heavenly Father, it's in your son's name we pray, in Jesus' name, amen.
All right ladies, have a blessed rest of your week and I look forward to hearing and seeing
you all in our app and chatting.
Definitely encourage your sisters, get involved, start activating that.
Let's start getting that app moving and going, okay?
All right ladies, have a great one.