WEBVTT

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Awesome. Okay. Yes, Sarah. I'm so glad you were able to come today. I just got done responding

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to one of your posts in the app. So it's good to see you. Ladies, welcome, welcome, welcome.

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This is your phase two live check-in call. It is November 5th of 2024. For those of you

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that don't know me, my name is Carla Johnson. I am one of your coaches here in phase two.

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I have the honor and privilege to kind of pour back into you what was poured into me

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several years ago when I joined Jackie at the end of 2020. And I am happy to say, yes,

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I am a success story. It took me a few years, but my husband finally came. But there's a

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lot of really great things that I learned being mentored by Jackie and just all the

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women in this community and the way that they poured in. And so I really do love and just

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adore you all. And it's really Tuesday. It's like my favorite day of the week because I

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get to come in and I get to, you know, pour into you ladies and just, you know, share

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my experience, you know, share some of my horror stories with you. But with the understanding

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that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and then I've got some good stories too. Okay.

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So it's not all bad stories. All right. But we do try to make it fun here for you. So

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that's just a little bit about me for those of you that don't know me. But since maybe

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some of you don't know me that maybe because this is your first week in phase two. So if

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that's you, go ahead and raise your avatar hand and let me know if this is your first

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week in phase two, or maybe this is your first live check in. So maybe you've been in phase

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two for a couple weeks, but you haven't been able to make it to a live second. Okay, I

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think I saw one hand up, two hands. Awesome. Welcome so much. I'm so thankful that you

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all can come and make it. I know this one o'clock hour is not always the easiest, but

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I know some people get off work or have a lunch break, or maybe they work in the evenings.

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And so this is really ideal for you to be able to come at this time. It works out great

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for me because my kids are out of my house. So that's why I love being able to come here

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at one o'clock with y'all. Otherwise, my kids are running around my house. I'm usually at

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baseball practice or something crazy in the evenings and such. But welcome. I'm so glad

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that you're with us. So we're just going to go over a quick few housekeeping items,

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and then we will dive in to our lesson, if you will. Today, we're going to cover our

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dating 101 video, some tips and pointers and how you can apply it in your life if you're

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dating and even how you can apply some of the things that you're learning out of that

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video, even if you're not in the dating pool yet. So maybe you're like, kind of only wanting

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to put a little toe in. That was me. I took probably about a year being in this community

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before I forced myself out on a date. So for those of you ladies that are super like, I

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don't know. I don't know if I want to get in the dating world. It's been so long. I'm

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right there with you. I totally get it. I totally feel you. I wouldn't advise waiting

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a full year to jump back in. But no, like I, I remember what it was like, I've experienced

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it. So just know that I'm here to support you along with Ebony and Bethany and all the

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other coaches that last year single. So yes, if you are new here, you are going to kind

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of what to expect now. Okay, so you come out of phase one, and now you're like, okay, phase

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two, what do I do? So we do have video training content for you. There are going to be five

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videos, we really do encourage you to only watch one video a week. There's a lot of really

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great information. And it really allows you a week to kind of just absorb, like digest

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and like, figure out the content in that in each of those videos. And I will just encourage

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you ladies to really lean into Holy Spirit. When you're watching that, and take time to

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process and sit with it, meditate, pray on it, ask the Lord to like, highlight things

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to you that he wants you to glean from those videos, and then come share it with us in

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the community. Okay, that's how we learn we learn from each other, honestly. Even when

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you're in the app, like you can be looking at what other ladies post and then even seeing

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how us coaches reply.

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apply to the ladies as well.

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So we have the five videos, watch one a week, okay?

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Then when you do that,

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make sure that you are finding something

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that you can take away

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and then sharing it with us in the community, okay?

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So some of that stuff can be like,

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like questions that you have on the content,

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or maybe something that you didn't learn before.

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Maybe it's not even something related to the video,

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but you're like, I have this question,

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or I have some heartwork stuff that I'm working on

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and you wanna share that.

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Maybe it's a win,

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it's like something that you wanna celebrate.

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Maybe it's a moment that you have with Holy Spirit.

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Make sure that you're coming into the community app

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and sharing with us, okay?

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I cannot stress enough,

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that was one of the things

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that when I was in this community,

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I made such a diligent effort

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to make sure that I was showing up in the group.

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And I was allowing myself to be vulnerable,

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and I was sharing whatever I could.

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So this is a safe community, it's a safe space.

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I know sometimes it's hard to want to kind of

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like share a little bit of piece of you,

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but we really are in this together

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and us coaches really do have your best interest at heart.

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And this is how we learn and grow.

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So watch those videos, bring your takeaways with us,

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respond in the app,

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let us know what's going on in your life, okay?

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And then things that you can also keep in mind

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for phase two is attending these live sessions.

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Super duper important.

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If at the very least that you can't make it

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to a live session, then check it out in the replay.

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So the replays are also in the app as well.

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Keep attending those prayer calls,

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especially the Supernatural Saturday

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and the Sunday activation.

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You will get so much great information from it

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and you will just literally leave those calls

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being so filled up.

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So I encourage you to get to those.

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And then ideally, if you ladies are watching

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one video a week, since there's five videos,

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you probably are only at the very minimum,

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you are gonna be in phase two for about five weeks, okay?

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Now, I don't think everybody always just like

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jumps in five weeks and they're out.

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You know, we understand life happens,

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it can get a little busy.

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And so it's okay if you stick around

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a couple weeks after five weeks, okay?

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We're not gonna leave you hanging.

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But we do want to encourage you,

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get what you can from phase two,

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watch those videos, come to the live calls,

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open up, share with us what's happening,

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and then be ready to go into phase three

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after you've done all those things.

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And when you have, then that's when you'll email

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admin at JackieDorman.com requesting

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the access to phase three,

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which is a whole nother like community.

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There's gonna be more women in that community.

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There's more events that you'll attend.

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It won't be always Tuesday.

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There are sometimes Tuesday nights

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that we have things going on for phase three, okay?

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So that's kind of just the what to expect from phase two.

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And if you ladies have any questions,

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you can ask me a little bit later.

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Now, and I think I talked about showing up in the community

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and making posts in the group,

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like that's super duper important.

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And one reason I stress that is because when you do that,

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you can start forming and building friendships

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in this community, and they are so important, okay?

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When I first joined this community,

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I mean, it was kind of when the world was shut down

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and everything, but even as the world started opening up,

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I really did find just a comfort in this community,

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coming to the live calls, chit-chatting with one another,

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you know, reading about what people were experiencing

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going through, pouring into the women

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that were also sharing.

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That's another thing, ladies.

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The only post that we ask you not to reply to

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when you're talking about your sisters

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is the ones that are in the Ask a Coach.

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Those are specifically for us coaches

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to reply to those ladies that are posting

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and wanting feedback from a coach,

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but in the wins, the relationship milestones,

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even in the all category,

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as long as it's not an Ask a Coach question,

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reply to your sisters.

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Like, encourage one another, lift each other up,

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get to know one another.

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I know there is a pinned post on the main page

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where I think it's under the Spirit Mate match.

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We've asked, like, where's everybody located?

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So go in there, see if there's any women in this community

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that live near you and plan meetups, hang out.

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with each other. Okay, we also have the single cities that are in the resource tab. So if you

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live near a single city, join the single city. I cannot stress so many of the relationships that

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I still have today are from this community. And in fact, one of the women in this community,

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she was the one looking out for, she was in her own like singles Facebook group community like,

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and I wasn't even in it. And she just happened to come across my husband's profile.

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And she was already like kind of dating someone who's now her husband. But she was looking up,

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she's like, this guy sounds really good for Carla. And she like reached out to him,

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and then told me about it. And she's like, I hope you don't mind. I gave him your information.

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And so he ended up reaching out to me. And that's how I met my husband was from one of the sisters

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here in this community. Alright, so I can't tell you how many women I met. Just, you know,

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I was living in Florida at the time. So many women would come down for vacation, they knew I lived

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there. They'd be like, Hey, Carla, they'd message me, hey, I'm in the area, you want to meet up for

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lunch. And I would I would meet up with people. Everyone got to know my youngest son, my birth

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baby. Like they just like everybody knew who he was. I mean, they still even ask about him.

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So it's because I built community in this. I built relationships with people in this community. And

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it's so so important to make sure that you're doing that here in phase two. And then we also

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ask that you come out of hiding. So like some of you ladies, you all have your cameras on,

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which means you're out of hiding, I can see you. I know some of you can't put your cameras on at

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this time of day at work. But if you can't put your camera on come out of hiding, let us see

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your face. It's just the sisters here. It's totally fine. Okay, I have I had a vote this morning. And

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so I had to run my kids to school. Usually my husband takes the kids to school, but then he had

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a vote. So I had to roll out of bed this morning and go take my kids to school and vote and get

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ready for the call today. But um, so no shame and showing up with with the camera on. Okay.

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Um, so yeah, come out of hiding. And the last thing I want to touch on about phase two is,

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I know some of you women watch that love story kickoff accelerator and you get freaked out by

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the seven day challenge. Raise your hand if you heard that seven day challenge. You're like,

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what? What am I gonna have to do? And you kind of freaked out a little bit.

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Nobody. Nobody's gonna admit. Okay, thank you, Nicole. Because I know there's some of you that

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get like that, because I was like that. Okay. And I know I was not not a loner here in this.

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All right. It doesn't have to be scary. Okay. It doesn't have to be super rushed. I know some

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people are like, all right, I'm gonna get my seven dates in in a month. Girls, that was just

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not doable for me. I was a single mom. Like that was just not happening. Like, I was lucky to get

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like one date a month. Okay. So it doesn't have to be rushed. Honestly, if you're here for like

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five, six weeks in phase two, chances are you're probably not going to finish your seven day

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challenge while you're in phase two. That will probably happen when you're in phase three.

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Okay, so don't let it be scary. It doesn't have to be rushed. Okay. And then I'm just gonna just

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give you guys a couple of reminders about our app. Make sure that you're doing a little tour

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of last year's single app. Okay. Click around all the tabs, figure out where things are at.

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That is like where you're going to get all your information. I'll also encourage you ladies,

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check out the post from your sisters. You know, if it's not an ask a coach question, reply,

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respond to your respond to some of them share encouraging words, whatever. Okay.

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And then also read what us coaches share to your sisters, because believe it or not,

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you may not be experiencing that situation at the moment. But you might at one point down the road,

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I do not know why my sorry, ladies, I'm having a little bit. There we go.

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My mouse stopped working. And I was like, what is happening?

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Where was I at? So yeah, respond to some of your friends here in the community. And then just read

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through what us coaches are sharing with your sisters. Okay. Read about what they're experiencing

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and how we coach them. Okay. When you are putting a post up in the app, make sure that you are

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clicking the right tab that you want it to go under, especially the ask a coach tab,

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because those are the ones where us coaches

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specifically are responding to you and then you'll notice that a lot of us coaches will ask you for

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more feedback or ask you questions or ask you to come back and share your thoughts with what

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we coached or give you kind of like hey let us know more about this when that happens reply under

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our comment to you instead of your your original post because when you do that when you reply to us

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then we'll get the notification if you reply to your own post and you don't reply under ours

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we don't always see that notification you'll get a notification that you've responded to your post

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but as coaches are not going to get a notification okay but again like make sure that you're looking

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at the training the curriculum the teaching the replay tabs and all those things the resource tab

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as well um and then one thing i will share is please do not send emails on anything regarding

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anything in the resource page so no emails about spirit mate match i know a lot of people are like

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okay are there any matches for me yet and so you're sending emails and we just do not have

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like we have a very small team believe it or not at last year's single and so it gets really

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challenging to reply to all those just know that Jackie and her team of matchmakers will reach out

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to you when you need to be reached out to when it's regarding the spirit mate match and same

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thing with um the affiliate program all of that information is there for you and so just make sure

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that you are doing that all right okay i think i'm done with the housekeeping items i'm getting

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better and better about getting through those very quickly um and yes sarah thank you for

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sharing that it does make a difference when you short up and so she's she's expressing that she

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was a bit of a silent participant for a while but once she started engaging it's really been

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a game changer for you sarah can you share with us how long have you been in phase two like how

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long would you say that you're kind of like in hiding in phase two yeah so i did the heart work

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back in um i want to say it was december to january of last year um and then i moved into

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phase two probably toward the end of january so um so i i sort of i was in engaging for a bit and

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then you know life got in the way i have three kids and i'm like i just don't know you know

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i had trouble making it to the the live sessions um and i just over the last month or so i'm like

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you know i really need to make more of an effort um and it really has made a difference because i

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was feeling like just super lonely and just like i'm in this alone and i mean i have friends around

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me i have a wonderful community i have a wonderful family and i don't have many people who can really

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relate to what i'm going through you know who's really in it with me um and so it's made a huge

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difference just sharing my heart and um and you know what god has kind of done in my life um

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and just showing up yeah it's it's been huge so yes thank you oh thank you so much for sharing

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that sarah so yeah ladies don't don't get shy about it we're all we're all in this together

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all right believe it or not we we're all here we all are well we all are single some of us

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coaches are married but we have been in the program and we do remember what it was like

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okay bethany and i we were like this in our community she was actually a bridesmaid in my

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wedding and you know we met through this community and she's been such a great friend

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and so you know and and that's just carried over even now into our marriages that we get to kind

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of do life together um you know as as going through this program and things like that so

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you know it really does make an impact knowing that you have women that are learning the

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information that you're learning because believe it or not you know i think you all could probably

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say you know we've we most of us are like you know been dating for a while and the world does it so

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differently and so the things that you're learning here in community are a little bit different and i

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remember sharing even with some of my single friends that weren't from this community like

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they had no like they couldn't understand like why we were doing it so different and so sometimes

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that was hard because i'm like well i want to do things this way and they're like well why would

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you do that and so it really did help knowing that i had a community to go to that when i ran into

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speed bumps and roadblocks and things like that or i was dealing with you know dates and guys that

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were just you know wish

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Squashy or whatever I had a community to go to that was gonna be positive about it and wasn't gonna like

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Be negative Nancy's about it and not being optimistic

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It really does help when you have a community of women that are experiencing what you're experiencing and are able to you know

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Read positivity into it

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Okay

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Because that's the last thing you don't want to go out in the world and it just be negative negative negative

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When it comes to dating, I mean cuz quite frankly, I mean dating is not always

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straight raise your hand if you're like

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Yeah, dating has its challenges

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Right. Yeah, Sarah you feel me? You've totally filled me. All right, I see some heads nodding. Yeah, like

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It's you know, we live in a world where not everybody has a Jackie Dorman

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You know and so and that's why we do, you know

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Encourage you ladies that when you meet really great guys that may not be for you. Y'all share them in this community

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Send them to Jackie tell them about the program

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You know just say hey, you know you and I didn't work out but you know

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I have this community of some pretty awesome amazing

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single god-loving women and

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I'd like to get you connected because you know, maybe maybe your wife is in there

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Maybe someone that you'll really connect to is in there

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And so make sure that you know, you're you're sharing that and that's why we have the affiliate program as well. Um

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Okay, ladies, I'm gonna go ahead and pray for us and then I'm gonna jump into our teaching this week

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We're gonna just give you some tips and things from the dating 101

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I'm gonna kind of dig into that a little bit and share a little bit of my experience what worked for me

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In

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Dating as well as you know, what how you can apply some of those things even if you're not quite dating yet

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Okay, so Heavenly Father. I just thank you

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Thank you for today. I thank you for every single one of these women that are with us here in phase two

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I thank you for them that are here live as well as the women that are gonna watch this and replay

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Lord, I just know you have great plans for each and every one of us and that we're not here by chance

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But we are literally here because of your divine appointment Lord, I just you know ask that you continue to

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teach us show us and heal us and grow us and the who you've asked us to be and

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that as we you know learn from

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Jackie and

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You that you just highlight certain areas that we can continue to grow closer and deeper intimacy with you father as

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you are working in us and through us and

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Preparing us for the spirit mates that you have already set aside for us Lord

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And I just I pray that these women just get you know, encouraged and hope filled

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For the love story that you have already written for them

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Lord, you are the perfecter of love stories and

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What is so amazing getting to watch, you know, everyone that comes in this community find their spirit mates

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that you have some of the most incredible love stories that

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no one would have ever imagined and

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I just thank you for that

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I thank you for each and every one of these women and the stories that they're gonna get to share of

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How they met their spirit mate and how you brought them to that and you drew closer to them

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So Lord, I thank you and we just give this time to you

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And I ask that you just fill us with your Holy Spirit and speak through us and just give us words of encouragement

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And hope for today in Jesus name. Amen

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All right

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so ladies, um

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Raise your hand if you have already watched the dating 101 video kind of want to get an idea of how many

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Have watched it. Okay, Teresa Sarah Ziggy

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Okay, good. Good good

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Handful of you have watched it

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I know some people and Emily. I know you've probably watched it. So maybe you're not near your computer to

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raise your hands

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Okay, so there's just a couple of you that have not watched it yet so no worries

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I'm just gonna kind of break some things down for you

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And we're just gonna share a little bit about what you will eventually

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Hear in the dating 101 and I'm just gonna kind of show you how to apply some of this stuff that you will hear in

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that dating 101 video

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So I'm gonna go over the first three levels of relationship. Okay, so we have level one which is

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Community. Okay. So this here. Okay when we come here, this is a level one community. All right

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your church your work

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place. You know people that you kind of are just out and about in community. If you are online

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dating all the men that you're swiping on and maybe having like back and forth conversations

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with that's level one. Okay so there's it's kind of like no pressure here. Okay it's just

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people out in community. We're not going to call it a level two discovery date until you've had at

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least the first video date or in-person date. Okay so but before we go on to level two I just

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want to kind of share with you like how you can show up in level one now that you're in phase two.

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So this is some of this is just communicating to people in your community that you are single

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pringle and you're ready to mingle. Okay so as you get to know people you can just say hey you know

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like you know get in a conversation and say you know yeah I'm part of this amazing community of

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Christian singles and I'm learning a lot of really great things and it's just really opened me up to

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how God really does want his sons and daughters married and I'm opening my life up and I'm

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believing that God's got somebody for me. So if you know anybody send them my way. It's just being

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able to communicate with people that hey you want to meet people in community. So that's I mean even

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if you're not online dating that's how you show up. Okay it's learning to get to know people

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in your community and letting them get an insight of who you are. Okay just like very surface level

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right. Okay then we go into level two. So in the dating world this is like a zoom call like a zoom

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chat or an in-person date like this might be meeting up for coffee or whatever. Okay believe it or not

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you also have level two relationships with women. These are your friends. Okay so your best friend

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probably wasn't somebody that you knew right away. Okay you had to get to know them. You had to be

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like that that chick's cool like I want to get to know her. Like all right that's what I did here in

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this community. Okay hung out with women. I would reach out and then be like hey like I really

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resonated with something that you shared and then you kind of just get to know one another. All right

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and then I built some really strong relationships with some of the women in this community and

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they're like close friends of mine now. Okay so believe it or not you can still do this in just

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level two is not just dating men but you can also be getting to know other women. So

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this level two is that discovery we call it discovery dating or just this is the get to

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know you stage. You have a little bit of idea of who they are maybe because of level one community

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whether it's something that they wrote on their profile or you're hanging out at church and you're

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in a small group and you know you've learned a little bit of something about them and you want

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to get to know them a little more. That's what that level two is. Okay so it doesn't just have

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to be dating men it's also you can be getting to know women in this stage if you're like not sure

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you're ready to like dip your toe in the dating pool you can be getting to know women in the

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in your communities as well. Okay so but if you are dating all right so now you are like let's

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say you are dating men okay what this is going to look like. So this is this is that level where

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you're not going to sit here and get in the weeds with people you're not going to overshare they're

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still strangers you're getting to know them you're trying to see you know do you have some things in

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common and believe it or not ladies it's okay to date guys that you might not have everything in

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common. My husband and I are a bit like complementary opposite okay there's some things that we we like

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we're very similar about like obviously some of the like core things like you know obviously our

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our relationship with God is was really important so we both are aligned in that we're aligned in a

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lot of our values and our beliefs of things about our kids and just you know the world and stuff

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like that but there's some things that you know we are very different and so we're complementary

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opposite so it's totally okay to get to know people that might not have some of the same

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similar likes and interests. Now if it's part of your life like they're gonna have to merge into

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that but this level of dating is literally just getting to know you so you're not gonna go into

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a whole bunch of detail about your life on like a deep level but you are going to share your life

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on a high level okay so it doesn't mean

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in that you don't talk to people about your life.

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You just are mindful of what you share.

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You're not gonna go digging in the weeds.

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And level two, you're not sharing about your ex files.

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You're not sitting here sharing about all your trauma

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from your past childhood.

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You know, those are things that are left for people

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that are gonna be more of your inner circle

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as you're getting to know them

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and you're discovering who this person is

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and are they a safe person to share that information with?

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Are we going in the same direction?

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Okay, you're not gonna know all of that stuff early on.

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Okay, you're not gonna know all of those things

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in the first one, two or three dates.

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Gonna have to take time, get to know them.

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Okay, and I know for a lot of us,

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it's like you wanna know after the first date

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whether or not this man is gonna be your husband.

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Raise your hand if you're guilty of that.

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Teresa, she's like, no.

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I know you, Teresa, I know you're not like that.

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And you've been in this space for a little bit to know.

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Yeah, no, we're not going into a date

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like sitting here being like,

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I'm like, this is what our life is gonna look like.

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We're gonna go on all these vacations together.

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Like, no, okay?

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You don't know enough about a person to know

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is this person gonna be the man you married, all right?

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Believe it or not, the first time I met my husband,

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I was like, after we were getting to know each other

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because we were long distance.

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And we talked for about three weeks

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before he came to visit me and take me out on a date.

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And ladies, I cannot tell you how many times

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I tried to cut and run.

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That I was like, I don't know about this guy.

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I just don't know.

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I don't know.

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I don't know if I could,

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I don't know if I can get behind this.

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All right?

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Like, I just, I really was like,

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I need to know more information about this man

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before I really truly decide on him, okay?

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So yeah, we don't wanna go into your first,

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you know, these discovery dates,

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like trying to pick apart

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whether or not this man's gonna be your husband.

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All right?

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You are literally just getting to know them.

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Think of it as peeling an onion, okay?

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You really do wanna resist romance in level two

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because guess what, ladies?

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We do encourage you to date more than one people

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in level two.

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And I know that is shocking

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and a little bit scary for some of you.

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It was for me.

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I was like, no, I only wanna date one person at a time.

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But there's a reason we do that

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because if you were like me,

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I would date one person.

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Like one, I thought maybe like,

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I was more into the physical attraction sort of stuff,

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which again, we don't encourage like,

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yes, you wanna think that they're, you know, attractive.

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You wanna be able to look at them, right?

436
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But we're not allowing that physical attraction

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to draw us in.

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So if you were like me, like I thought a guy was cute.

439
00:33:16.360 --> 00:33:18.520
He made me laugh on a first date.

440
00:33:18.520 --> 00:33:20.220
I was like all in.

441
00:33:20.220 --> 00:33:22.500
Like I was putty in his hands.

442
00:33:22.500 --> 00:33:26.860
I was ready to make this guy fit the mold

443
00:33:28.160 --> 00:33:30.460
because I didn't want,

444
00:33:30.460 --> 00:33:32.220
I didn't wanna have to keep looking.

445
00:33:32.220 --> 00:33:35.280
I just wanted, I wanted a companionship,

446
00:33:35.280 --> 00:33:37.080
but I was getting the companionship

447
00:33:37.080 --> 00:33:40.660
from all the wrong people, okay?

448
00:33:40.660 --> 00:33:44.100
So level two, it really is important

449
00:33:44.100 --> 00:33:48.500
to like discover more about other people,

450
00:33:48.500 --> 00:33:51.420
but also discover more about yourself.

451
00:33:51.420 --> 00:33:56.420
And so super important to resist romance in level two

452
00:33:56.660 --> 00:33:59.420
and just really get to know them as a person.

453
00:33:59.420 --> 00:34:02.220
Like what do you enjoy about a person

454
00:34:02.220 --> 00:34:05.340
and what are you learning about yourself

455
00:34:05.340 --> 00:34:09.620
as you're out on these level two dates, okay?

456
00:34:09.620 --> 00:34:12.060
So that's level two.

457
00:34:12.060 --> 00:34:14.300
Then once you've been in that

458
00:34:14.300 --> 00:34:16.820
for at least a month with a person,

459
00:34:16.820 --> 00:34:20.280
like I would say you've gone on a handful of dates,

460
00:34:21.219 --> 00:34:25.739
probably four, five, six dates or so,

461
00:34:25.739 --> 00:34:28.980
if not more, is when,

462
00:34:28.980 --> 00:34:31.620
and you just are like, you're getting to know them

463
00:34:31.620 --> 00:34:36.620
and they are showing green flags.

464
00:34:37.520 --> 00:34:39.540
They might have had some yellow flags,

465
00:34:39.540 --> 00:34:41.219
but you're seeing that those yellow flags

466
00:34:41.219 --> 00:34:43.239
are turning green.

467
00:34:43.239 --> 00:34:46.420
You know, my husband had yellow flags,

468
00:34:46.420 --> 00:34:50.620
believe it or not, but as I got to know him,

469
00:34:50.620 --> 00:34:54.380
I got to see how those yellow flags were green flags

470
00:34:54.380 --> 00:34:57.020
because we all have yellow flags.

471
00:34:57.020 --> 00:34:59.100
I had several yellow flags.

472
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.640
But once you, when you take time to get to know someone in level two, you really do get

473
00:35:05.640 --> 00:35:07.840
to see how they show up in life.

474
00:35:07.840 --> 00:35:12.520
They're not just, because I mean, let's be honest, when you go on a date, you're presenting

475
00:35:12.520 --> 00:35:13.960
your best self, right?

476
00:35:13.960 --> 00:35:17.240
Those first couple of dates, you're going to present your best self, right?

477
00:35:17.240 --> 00:35:20.640
You're not going to let people see all the crazy yet.

478
00:35:20.640 --> 00:35:24.280
All right, because we all have yellow flags.

479
00:35:24.280 --> 00:35:27.800
So that's why it's important to take time in that.

480
00:35:27.800 --> 00:35:35.360
So as you've done that, and you start seeing how, you know, this man is marriage minded,

481
00:35:35.360 --> 00:35:41.680
he's masculine, he's mature, you found yourself in interactions and seeing how they show up

482
00:35:41.680 --> 00:35:47.280
in life, like how they're treating people, how they treat you.

483
00:35:47.280 --> 00:35:51.160
And you're saying, you know what, I could see this maybe going in the direction of a

484
00:35:51.160 --> 00:35:58.480
romantic relationship where I just want to spend time getting to know this person.

485
00:35:58.480 --> 00:36:00.280
That's when that level three comes.

486
00:36:00.280 --> 00:36:07.080
Now what we encourage you ladies to take note of is you still want to pace yourself, but

487
00:36:07.080 --> 00:36:12.020
you also want to allow men to lead into level three.

488
00:36:12.020 --> 00:36:17.040
So this is what we call the DTR, the define the relationship, right?

489
00:36:17.040 --> 00:36:20.960
If you were like me, I always wanted to know, like when I was in my twenties, I always wanted

490
00:36:20.960 --> 00:36:21.960
to know.

491
00:36:21.960 --> 00:36:22.960
So what are we?

492
00:36:22.960 --> 00:36:23.960
Right.

493
00:36:23.960 --> 00:36:24.960
I always went to guys.

494
00:36:24.960 --> 00:36:25.960
Okay.

495
00:36:25.960 --> 00:36:26.960
So what are we?

496
00:36:26.960 --> 00:36:27.960
Are we like boyfriend, girlfriend?

497
00:36:27.960 --> 00:36:29.400
Or like, what are we doing here?

498
00:36:29.400 --> 00:36:30.400
Right.

499
00:36:30.400 --> 00:36:32.360
Ladies, let the men lean back.

500
00:36:32.360 --> 00:36:33.360
Okay.

501
00:36:33.360 --> 00:36:35.120
You're just getting to know them.

502
00:36:35.120 --> 00:36:38.120
There's no, like you're not tied to them.

503
00:36:38.120 --> 00:36:39.120
Okay.

504
00:36:39.120 --> 00:36:40.120
You have no obligation.

505
00:36:40.120 --> 00:36:41.120
Okay.

506
00:36:41.120 --> 00:36:46.280
I know we were, I also want to talk a little bit later today about this leading men on

507
00:36:46.280 --> 00:36:47.280
thing.

508
00:36:47.280 --> 00:36:50.440
I know some of us sometimes think that we're leading men on if we go on a couple of dates

509
00:36:50.920 --> 00:36:52.920
with them and we're still not sure about them.

510
00:36:52.920 --> 00:36:53.920
Okay.

511
00:36:53.920 --> 00:36:56.520
Like you are just letting it flow.

512
00:36:56.520 --> 00:37:03.120
You're allowing the pacing to happen and you're letting the men lead into that conversation.

513
00:37:03.120 --> 00:37:11.800
Let the men initiate wanting to be exclusive with you, believe it or not really good hearted,

514
00:37:11.800 --> 00:37:14.040
intentional, mature men.

515
00:37:14.040 --> 00:37:19.160
They're going to want to communicate to you that, look, I am interested in just getting

516
00:37:19.160 --> 00:37:24.800
to know you and would it be okay if we are exclusive?

517
00:37:24.800 --> 00:37:26.260
Men will lead that conversation.

518
00:37:26.260 --> 00:37:27.260
My husband did.

519
00:37:27.260 --> 00:37:30.040
He was like, ready to go.

520
00:37:30.040 --> 00:37:33.520
He's like, look, I'm done looking.

521
00:37:33.520 --> 00:37:35.960
And so he asked me if it was okay.

522
00:37:35.960 --> 00:37:40.760
And at that point, like there was a lot of God confirmations on our relationship that

523
00:37:40.760 --> 00:37:44.440
I did was like, okay, yeah, let's, let's go for it.

524
00:37:44.440 --> 00:37:46.160
Let's, let's be exclusive.

525
00:37:46.160 --> 00:37:47.160
Okay.

526
00:37:47.160 --> 00:37:51.560
So that, that's a little bit of level, level three.

527
00:37:51.560 --> 00:37:52.560
Okay.

528
00:37:52.560 --> 00:37:53.560
A couple things.

529
00:37:53.560 --> 00:37:58.480
Do I have any, um, I'm going to go ahead and open up for questions.

530
00:37:58.480 --> 00:38:03.440
I don't typically do this, but I know there's a lot of things to unpack, especially when

531
00:38:03.440 --> 00:38:06.440
we talk about dating one-on-one.

532
00:38:06.440 --> 00:38:12.320
And I think once I open up some questions here, then I want to touch on some of the

533
00:38:12.320 --> 00:38:17.000
other things that I wanted to share with y'all today always ends up working that way.

534
00:38:17.840 --> 00:38:22.280
So, um, Elaine touching on masculine maturity versus still a boy.

535
00:38:22.280 --> 00:38:23.280
Okay.

536
00:38:23.280 --> 00:38:24.280
So masculine maturity.

537
00:38:24.280 --> 00:38:25.280
You know what?

538
00:38:25.280 --> 00:38:30.880
I'm going to see if I can pull up something, but I'm going to come back to your question.

539
00:38:30.880 --> 00:38:33.920
There's someone that has their hand up, but it just says iPhone.

540
00:38:33.920 --> 00:38:39.400
I don't know if it's because you have a question or if you were just raising your hand when

541
00:38:39.400 --> 00:38:45.880
I asked you to raise your hand earlier, if you related to something, I'm going to give

542
00:38:45.880 --> 00:38:47.400
a minute to that person.

543
00:38:47.400 --> 00:38:48.400
You might not know it.

544
00:38:48.400 --> 00:38:49.400
You're the one that says iPhone user.

545
00:38:49.400 --> 00:38:50.400
So everybody check.

546
00:38:50.400 --> 00:38:51.400
Oh, they took their hand down.

547
00:38:51.400 --> 00:38:52.400
Okay.

548
00:38:52.400 --> 00:38:53.400
I got you.

549
00:38:53.400 --> 00:38:54.400
iPhone user.

550
00:38:54.400 --> 00:38:55.400
I don't know who you are, but all right.

551
00:38:55.400 --> 00:38:56.400
Is anybody else on the question?

552
00:38:56.400 --> 00:38:57.400
Yes.

553
00:38:57.400 --> 00:38:58.400
Teresa, go ahead.

554
00:38:58.400 --> 00:38:59.400
I'm going to look up this, um, masculine maturity thing.

555
00:38:59.400 --> 00:39:00.400
Cause there's, um, something that I do want to share with the three M's.

556
00:39:00.400 --> 00:39:01.400
Okay.

557
00:39:01.400 --> 00:39:02.400
But what is your question?

558
00:39:02.400 --> 00:39:20.320
So last time you said that, um, there was probably something like zoom voice in, uh,

559
00:39:20.320 --> 00:39:23.160
or Google voice, Google voice in Canada.

560
00:39:23.160 --> 00:39:24.360
Did you find anything?

561
00:39:24.360 --> 00:39:28.440
I have not found anything yet.

562
00:39:28.440 --> 00:39:32.840
I'm going to, I'm going to reach out to some of my Canada sisters that were in this community

563
00:39:32.840 --> 00:39:43.520
with me as well a while back cause I, there's gotta be something, right?

564
00:39:43.520 --> 00:39:54.440
It can't just be, it can't just be to, oh my goodness, what is going on with my computer?

565
00:39:54.440 --> 00:39:57.320
Ladies, I apologize, but yeah, I will.

566
00:39:57.320 --> 00:39:59.240
And I'm going to ask even, um,

567
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.360
I'm trying to think, who do I?

568
00:40:03.360 --> 00:40:06.200
There's a couple people that I can ask.

569
00:40:06.200 --> 00:40:09.240
She's recently moved to the United States,

570
00:40:09.240 --> 00:40:13.860
but I would imagine she would know a handful of people

571
00:40:13.860 --> 00:40:17.560
from this community that could probably tell me.

572
00:40:20.040 --> 00:40:25.200
OK, I'm going to find this.

573
00:40:25.200 --> 00:40:30.840
Staying on mature and masculine, and what

574
00:40:30.840 --> 00:40:35.840
that will look like in men that you're dating.

575
00:40:38.960 --> 00:40:40.120
Give me just a moment.

576
00:40:43.600 --> 00:40:44.720
Let's see here.

577
00:40:51.360 --> 00:40:52.200
Let's see.

578
00:40:56.200 --> 00:41:00.000
I may just have to wing it right now, which I know.

579
00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:05.440
I mean, so obviously, marriage-minded,

580
00:41:05.440 --> 00:41:10.280
you know that they're going to talk about their dating

581
00:41:10.280 --> 00:41:11.680
for marriage.

582
00:41:11.680 --> 00:41:15.240
They're not just trying to just to get to know someone.

583
00:41:15.240 --> 00:41:22.000
They're going to want to get to know you on a deeper level.

584
00:41:22.800 --> 00:41:24.240
Oh, here it is.

585
00:41:24.240 --> 00:41:25.760
I had it pulled up the whole time.

586
00:41:25.760 --> 00:41:28.800
How crazy is that?

587
00:41:28.800 --> 00:41:30.000
I'm crazy.

588
00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:38.840
All right, so yes, the three Ms. So is he masculine?

589
00:41:38.840 --> 00:41:42.880
OK, this is all going to be like the divine masculine.

590
00:41:42.880 --> 00:41:44.720
So we're kind of dipping a little bit

591
00:41:44.720 --> 00:41:46.920
into the divine feminine video.

592
00:41:46.920 --> 00:41:49.760
So divine masculinity, is he going

593
00:41:49.760 --> 00:41:52.080
to protect and honor you?

594
00:41:52.080 --> 00:41:55.040
That's what masculinity will look like.

595
00:41:55.040 --> 00:41:55.840
He's protective.

596
00:41:55.840 --> 00:41:57.000
He's going to honor you.

597
00:41:57.000 --> 00:41:59.760
He's going to honor your boundaries.

598
00:41:59.760 --> 00:42:03.360
Is he going to sacrifice his time and resources and energy

599
00:42:03.360 --> 00:42:05.360
to provide for you and your needs?

600
00:42:05.360 --> 00:42:10.080
OK, now I'm not talking about like in this hindsight of,

601
00:42:10.080 --> 00:42:12.480
oh, does he have the ability to provide for me

602
00:42:12.480 --> 00:42:13.600
if I marry him?

603
00:42:13.600 --> 00:42:16.640
No, he's just going to be honoring you.

604
00:42:16.640 --> 00:42:19.360
He's going to show that he wants

605
00:42:19.360 --> 00:42:20.840
to spend some time with you.

606
00:42:20.840 --> 00:42:23.600
He's going to make an effort to do that.

607
00:42:23.600 --> 00:42:30.000
So for example, my husband was not living in Florida.

608
00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:31.760
He was living in Texas.

609
00:42:31.760 --> 00:42:33.440
It's where we live now.

610
00:42:33.440 --> 00:42:35.680
I relocated.

611
00:42:35.680 --> 00:42:40.240
He would come to Florida for work.

612
00:42:40.240 --> 00:42:42.640
OK, so he worked remotely, but his company

613
00:42:42.640 --> 00:42:44.400
that he worked for at the time was

614
00:42:44.480 --> 00:42:46.960
located in Clearwater.

615
00:42:46.960 --> 00:42:51.680
And the first time that we were going to meet

616
00:42:51.680 --> 00:42:55.120
was over a weekend that I had my son.

617
00:42:55.120 --> 00:42:58.240
So my son would go to his dad's every other weekend.

618
00:42:58.240 --> 00:43:02.640
And so my husband was like, I'm going

619
00:43:02.640 --> 00:43:05.040
to be in town from this time to this time.

620
00:43:05.040 --> 00:43:06.720
Can I see you?

621
00:43:06.720 --> 00:43:11.920
And so I remember I was talking to my dad

622
00:43:12.240 --> 00:43:17.680
and I remember I was taking my son to a For King and Country

623
00:43:17.680 --> 00:43:19.360
concert.

624
00:43:19.360 --> 00:43:23.360
It was in December.

625
00:43:23.360 --> 00:43:25.040
And so I had my son that weekend.

626
00:43:25.040 --> 00:43:27.120
So we were going to drive two hours to Orlando

627
00:43:27.120 --> 00:43:28.640
to go see For King and Country.

628
00:43:28.640 --> 00:43:30.480
And so I explained to him.

629
00:43:30.480 --> 00:43:33.240
I said, yeah, I will find someone.

630
00:43:33.240 --> 00:43:37.160
But on this day, I'm taking my son to a concert.

631
00:43:37.160 --> 00:43:39.160
So I'm not going to be available.

632
00:43:39.160 --> 00:43:41.960
But I will look into getting a sitter

633
00:43:41.960 --> 00:43:43.320
on one of the other days.

634
00:43:43.320 --> 00:43:46.280
It may have to be a lunch date or whatever.

635
00:43:46.280 --> 00:43:53.240
Well, he decided that he was going to split up his trip.

636
00:43:53.240 --> 00:43:58.440
So he came the weekend prior to that.

637
00:43:58.440 --> 00:44:01.880
And then he also, so he scheduled that.

638
00:44:01.880 --> 00:44:04.600
And then he left to go home back to Texas.

639
00:44:04.600 --> 00:44:07.800
And then he came back the following weekend.

640
00:44:07.800 --> 00:44:09.800
So it was like the first week in December,

641
00:44:09.800 --> 00:44:10.920
weekend in December.

642
00:44:10.920 --> 00:44:13.880
And then the second week in December, I had my son.

643
00:44:13.880 --> 00:44:15.800
So he was back in Texas.

644
00:44:15.800 --> 00:44:19.240
And then he finished up his work trip

645
00:44:19.240 --> 00:44:21.800
before that third weekend.

646
00:44:21.800 --> 00:44:25.000
So he really was intentional about how he spent time.

647
00:44:25.000 --> 00:44:29.720
He saw like, OK, I see that this woman has her son.

648
00:44:29.720 --> 00:44:33.000
And it might be a bit of an inconvenience

649
00:44:33.000 --> 00:44:35.160
because it's her weekend with her son.

650
00:44:35.160 --> 00:44:41.000
And so he just went ahead and shifted things for himself

651
00:44:41.000 --> 00:44:43.320
because he was willing to see it.

652
00:44:43.320 --> 00:44:45.480
He wanted to get to know me more.

653
00:44:45.480 --> 00:44:47.240
He wanted to be able to spend time with me.

654
00:44:47.240 --> 00:44:50.600
And I kind of joke with him now because we

655
00:44:50.600 --> 00:44:55.560
talked the night before our initial first date.

656
00:44:55.560 --> 00:44:57.560
And he was like, so am I going to get

657
00:44:57.560 --> 00:44:58.760
to see you more than once?

658
00:44:58.760 --> 00:44:59.880
And I remember telling him like,

659
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.800
I, I don't know, like we haven't met yet.

660
00:45:04.800 --> 00:45:09.200
And we laugh about it now because when he said that, I'm like, I'm not going to promise

661
00:45:09.200 --> 00:45:10.600
that I'm going to see you more than once.

662
00:45:10.600 --> 00:45:12.800
I might not like you.

663
00:45:12.800 --> 00:45:18.560
And he was like, Oh, and he, you know, in the back of his mind, he joked that he's like,

664
00:45:18.560 --> 00:45:20.040
wow, she's right.

665
00:45:20.040 --> 00:45:21.040
Maybe she's crazy.

666
00:45:21.040 --> 00:45:26.360
So he's like, I might not want to like, hang out with her more than once.

667
00:45:26.360 --> 00:45:31.560
So he saw how maybe he shouldn't have even like ask that question until he actually met

668
00:45:31.560 --> 00:45:32.560
me in person.

669
00:45:32.560 --> 00:45:37.480
So that is how like they're going to, they're going to sacrifice time.

670
00:45:37.480 --> 00:45:41.240
They're going to show that they're willing to do that.

671
00:45:41.240 --> 00:45:45.920
Another thing, like my husband was very honoring of my boundaries.

672
00:45:45.920 --> 00:45:51.360
Our first date, he asked to kiss me at the end of our date and I said, no, I think I

673
00:45:51.360 --> 00:45:52.360
shocked him.

674
00:45:52.360 --> 00:45:54.980
I think he was like, Oh, okay.

675
00:45:54.980 --> 00:46:01.900
But I expressed to him, I'm like, look, I, I'm not interested in having physical intimate

676
00:46:01.900 --> 00:46:05.580
like connection with somebody that I'm just getting to know.

677
00:46:05.580 --> 00:46:10.620
I need exclusivity before I jump into that.

678
00:46:10.620 --> 00:46:16.420
And so I need the time to, you know, get to know you before I make a choice like that.

679
00:46:16.420 --> 00:46:22.380
And he was so respectful of my boundary, even after we decided to be exclusive, he didn't

680
00:46:22.380 --> 00:46:25.140
assume that I was ready to kiss him.

681
00:46:25.140 --> 00:46:29.780
He let me share with him when I was comfortable for that.

682
00:46:29.780 --> 00:46:32.740
So that's what a masculine man is going to do.

683
00:46:32.740 --> 00:46:33.740
Okay.

684
00:46:33.740 --> 00:46:38.420
I hope that gives you kind of an idea of what that looks like.

685
00:46:38.420 --> 00:46:40.620
Some other things like, is he mature?

686
00:46:40.620 --> 00:46:42.420
So when you're asking, is he mature?

687
00:46:42.420 --> 00:46:46.020
Does he take care of his business and responsibilities?

688
00:46:46.020 --> 00:46:51.140
Like, again, ladies, you're not going to see that on the first couple of dates.

689
00:46:51.140 --> 00:46:55.740
You're going to have to get to know them to see, like, does he have his stuff in order?

690
00:46:55.740 --> 00:46:57.620
Is he responsible?

691
00:46:57.620 --> 00:46:59.380
Can he regulate his emotion?

692
00:46:59.380 --> 00:47:00.380
All right.

693
00:47:00.380 --> 00:47:07.380
Is he going to be reactive when a situation doesn't happen the way that he wants it to?

694
00:47:07.380 --> 00:47:10.620
And again, ladies, you're probably not going to see that in the first couple of dates.

695
00:47:10.620 --> 00:47:13.780
Because again, we're always on those first couple of dates.

696
00:47:13.780 --> 00:47:17.080
We're always kind of wanting to present our best self.

697
00:47:17.080 --> 00:47:21.240
So you're not going to want to jump into a level three relationship, exclusive relationship

698
00:47:21.240 --> 00:47:26.280
with someone until you've really gotten to know them and see how they respond in those

699
00:47:26.280 --> 00:47:27.680
situations.

700
00:47:27.680 --> 00:47:33.360
And even then, when you're in level three, you might then start seeing yellow flags turn

701
00:47:33.360 --> 00:47:34.360
red.

702
00:47:34.360 --> 00:47:35.360
Okay.

703
00:47:35.360 --> 00:47:39.320
So again, that's why we talk about pacing level three.

704
00:47:39.320 --> 00:47:42.120
You're still getting to know someone at level three.

705
00:47:42.120 --> 00:47:43.120
Okay.

706
00:47:43.120 --> 00:47:45.120
Now, marriage minded.

707
00:47:45.160 --> 00:47:46.160
Okay.

708
00:47:46.160 --> 00:47:51.200
Well, actually, before I move on to that, the mature, does he surround himself with

709
00:47:51.200 --> 00:47:56.200
other men that can hold him accountable in areas of weakness, and he's willing to ask

710
00:47:56.200 --> 00:47:57.800
people for help.

711
00:47:57.800 --> 00:47:59.920
That's what a mature man is going to do.

712
00:47:59.920 --> 00:48:11.440
I dated a guy who's like a year before I met my husband, super great guy, very, very like

713
00:48:11.440 --> 00:48:16.560
protective of me, was really intentional to date me, was really a nice guy.

714
00:48:16.560 --> 00:48:22.040
But I saw that he really didn't have a community of men to hold him accountable.

715
00:48:22.040 --> 00:48:26.200
And that like, it didn't sit well with me.

716
00:48:26.200 --> 00:48:32.440
Like I knew I didn't want to be with someone that wasn't going to lead well.

717
00:48:32.440 --> 00:48:37.040
That was something that God showed me that was, you know, it was a desire of my heart.

718
00:48:37.040 --> 00:48:42.760
And so I started to see that he didn't have anyone holding him accountable for things

719
00:48:42.760 --> 00:48:45.400
that he needed to work on himself.

720
00:48:45.400 --> 00:48:47.560
I was in this community.

721
00:48:47.560 --> 00:48:49.880
I was being mentored by Jackie.

722
00:48:49.880 --> 00:48:56.320
And that was important, like for me to like get, you know, teachings from other godly

723
00:48:56.320 --> 00:49:03.800
women and being connected in a community of other women that were going to hold me accountable.

724
00:49:03.800 --> 00:49:12.080
I wanted my husband to have the same like idea that he was willing to be teachable.

725
00:49:12.080 --> 00:49:13.560
So that was important to me.

726
00:49:13.560 --> 00:49:18.560
So, you know, a mature man is going to hold himself accountable and he's going to have

727
00:49:18.560 --> 00:49:24.160
other men around him being able to point that out or wisdom or counsel where he's doing

728
00:49:24.160 --> 00:49:26.400
that.

729
00:49:26.400 --> 00:49:31.520
And then is he working on himself to overcome past trauma?

730
00:49:31.520 --> 00:49:35.760
So that's going to show you that someone's mature because we all have drama and trauma

731
00:49:35.760 --> 00:49:37.080
in our past.

732
00:49:37.080 --> 00:49:38.080
Okay.

733
00:49:38.080 --> 00:49:41.720
We all have issues of counterfeits and things like that.

734
00:49:41.720 --> 00:49:43.040
And so it's important.

735
00:49:43.040 --> 00:49:49.480
And again, you're not going to learn this information on the first couple of dates because

736
00:49:49.480 --> 00:49:53.200
we're not going to want you encouraged to start getting and diving into someone's like

737
00:49:53.200 --> 00:49:54.200
trauma.

738
00:49:54.200 --> 00:49:55.200
Okay.

739
00:49:55.200 --> 00:50:00.000
Now, as you get to know them, you might start seeing responses to that.

740
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.080
So watching how they respond

741
00:50:03.080 --> 00:50:07.360
when they're put in those situations is important, okay?

742
00:50:07.360 --> 00:50:10.440
So that's what that maturity is gonna look like as well.

743
00:50:10.440 --> 00:50:13.080
And then the masculine and then marriage-minded,

744
00:50:13.080 --> 00:50:14.520
do they have a life plan?

745
00:50:14.520 --> 00:50:17.340
Are they financially responsible?

746
00:50:17.340 --> 00:50:22.320
Do they initiate future focus conversation with you?

747
00:50:22.320 --> 00:50:25.240
Do they care about your goals and dreams?

748
00:50:25.240 --> 00:50:27.640
All right, that's one thing like my husband

749
00:50:27.640 --> 00:50:29.800
has always been very supportive of things

750
00:50:29.800 --> 00:50:33.000
that I wanna do in my life as I grow.

751
00:50:33.000 --> 00:50:35.320
I mean, yes, we have children.

752
00:50:35.320 --> 00:50:39.400
You know, mom is like a big role that I play,

753
00:50:39.400 --> 00:50:42.900
but at some point your children leave, right?

754
00:50:42.900 --> 00:50:47.320
I have other ideas and goals and dreams of my own.

755
00:50:47.320 --> 00:50:51.360
And so my husband will support me in that.

756
00:50:51.360 --> 00:50:53.320
You know, he wants to know,

757
00:50:53.320 --> 00:50:55.000
he wanted to know when we were dating,

758
00:50:55.000 --> 00:50:59.120
like what were things I was passionate about?

759
00:50:59.120 --> 00:51:03.600
And I was able to share that with him and whatnot.

760
00:51:03.600 --> 00:51:06.200
So he cared about that stuff.

761
00:51:06.200 --> 00:51:10.400
Like he really truly wanted to get to know me.

762
00:51:10.400 --> 00:51:13.160
And then are they intentional about spending time with you

763
00:51:13.160 --> 00:51:14.800
and getting to know your family and friends?

764
00:51:14.800 --> 00:51:16.680
And again, ladies, a lot of this stuff

765
00:51:16.680 --> 00:51:20.040
you're not gonna see in the early stages of level two.

766
00:51:20.040 --> 00:51:22.400
You're gonna see maybe in the later stages of level two,

767
00:51:22.400 --> 00:51:23.960
and you might not start seeing some of this

768
00:51:23.960 --> 00:51:26.840
until level three where you're in exclusive relationship

769
00:51:26.880 --> 00:51:30.840
and you really do get to see how they show up, okay?

770
00:51:30.840 --> 00:51:34.500
So I hope that helps answer your question, Elaine,

771
00:51:34.500 --> 00:51:39.180
about what that looks like versus still being a boy, okay?

772
00:51:40.800 --> 00:51:41.640
Good.

773
00:51:42.700 --> 00:51:45.520
All right, a couple more things, and then we will,

774
00:51:46.640 --> 00:51:48.360
let's see here.

775
00:51:48.360 --> 00:51:52.740
One other thing I did wanna share with you ladies about,

776
00:51:54.140 --> 00:51:55.960
actually before I do that,

777
00:51:55.960 --> 00:51:57.800
do we have any other questions?

778
00:51:59.760 --> 00:52:00.600
Because I really do.

779
00:52:00.600 --> 00:52:03.960
I really think we're gonna lead into some of this stuff

780
00:52:03.960 --> 00:52:05.040
with some of your questions.

781
00:52:05.040 --> 00:52:08.000
I know Elaine is not gonna be the only one have questions.

782
00:52:11.200 --> 00:52:13.480
No one wants to volunteer as tribute.

783
00:52:14.880 --> 00:52:17.440
Okay, Ziggy, what about age difference?

784
00:52:17.440 --> 00:52:21.840
Okay, so Jackie does do some good teaching on this

785
00:52:21.840 --> 00:52:23.480
over the years.

786
00:52:24.320 --> 00:52:27.080
We don't focus on the age

787
00:52:27.080 --> 00:52:30.000
as much as the season of life that you're in.

788
00:52:31.680 --> 00:52:36.100
So for example, I always go to this

789
00:52:36.100 --> 00:52:39.560
because this is how it was applicable to me

790
00:52:39.560 --> 00:52:40.880
when I was dating.

791
00:52:40.880 --> 00:52:43.600
I obviously had a young child.

792
00:52:43.600 --> 00:52:48.600
So I was not gonna date someone that was older

793
00:52:49.600 --> 00:52:54.600
and had grown kids and was ready to kind of be that,

794
00:52:55.760 --> 00:52:57.480
empty nest or kids out of the home

795
00:52:57.480 --> 00:53:01.360
because I was coming with a young child.

796
00:53:01.360 --> 00:53:05.680
So that was just not an interest for me.

797
00:53:05.680 --> 00:53:10.280
Now, if there was an older guy that wanted young kids

798
00:53:10.280 --> 00:53:14.240
and wanted to have children, I was open to that.

799
00:53:15.240 --> 00:53:19.920
So it's more about the season of life that you're in.

800
00:53:19.920 --> 00:53:22.600
So, and another example is,

801
00:53:24.320 --> 00:53:29.320
if you are retired and you're ready to travel,

802
00:53:29.680 --> 00:53:34.520
see the world, like you're not working full time anymore,

803
00:53:34.520 --> 00:53:37.480
you may not wanna partner with someone

804
00:53:37.480 --> 00:53:42.480
that is having to still work 40 to 50 hours a week.

805
00:53:43.000 --> 00:53:47.880
Your lives are not gonna like, you know, merge together

806
00:53:47.880 --> 00:53:49.360
because you're gonna wanna travel,

807
00:53:49.360 --> 00:53:50.560
you're gonna wanna do things

808
00:53:50.560 --> 00:53:53.120
because you're no longer having to work.

809
00:53:53.120 --> 00:53:57.040
Or let's look at like, maybe you are working

810
00:53:57.040 --> 00:53:59.600
and then you're meeting someone who is retired,

811
00:53:59.600 --> 00:54:01.000
that may not work.

812
00:54:01.000 --> 00:54:04.480
So again, you have to look at the season of life you're in

813
00:54:04.480 --> 00:54:06.440
and do they match up?

814
00:54:06.440 --> 00:54:08.440
Do they overlap well?

815
00:54:09.320 --> 00:54:10.560
Okay.

816
00:54:10.560 --> 00:54:14.960
For me, my whole thing, I was,

817
00:54:14.960 --> 00:54:17.320
I really wanted kind of for myself,

818
00:54:17.320 --> 00:54:18.440
wanted to stay in the range.

819
00:54:18.440 --> 00:54:21.240
Cause again, I was in my late thirties.

820
00:54:21.240 --> 00:54:23.000
So I really was like,

821
00:54:23.000 --> 00:54:27.160
I don't really wanna go above like five years.

822
00:54:27.160 --> 00:54:30.280
And I also didn't wanna hit below five years.

823
00:54:30.280 --> 00:54:33.640
So, but now obviously I dated some guys that were seven,

824
00:54:33.640 --> 00:54:35.120
six or 70 years older than me.

825
00:54:35.160 --> 00:54:38.640
I dated some guys that were six, 70 years younger than me.

826
00:54:38.640 --> 00:54:40.120
It was just about the season of life.

827
00:54:40.120 --> 00:54:44.320
I tend to find that the older men that I was dating,

828
00:54:44.320 --> 00:54:48.280
they just, they didn't have kids anymore

829
00:54:48.280 --> 00:54:50.960
or they didn't have kids and they were much older

830
00:54:50.960 --> 00:54:53.960
and they really weren't sure that they wanted kids

831
00:54:53.960 --> 00:54:55.560
or they had grown kids

832
00:54:55.560 --> 00:54:58.160
because they had kids when they were in their twenties.

833
00:54:59.000 --> 00:55:00.040
Where I had my son.

834
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:00.840
I was in my thirties.

835
00:55:00.840 --> 00:55:02.660
So by the time they were 40, their kids were grown.

836
00:55:02.660 --> 00:55:04.500
I was like, okay, that doesn't really measure up.

837
00:55:04.500 --> 00:55:06.700
And then some of the younger guys I dated,

838
00:55:06.700 --> 00:55:09.180
they just weren't ready to be dads.

839
00:55:09.180 --> 00:55:10.780
And for me, that was important.

840
00:55:10.780 --> 00:55:14.940
Like I had a young son who really didn't have a father

841
00:55:14.940 --> 00:55:16.660
that was consistently showing up.

842
00:55:16.660 --> 00:55:20.320
Yes, he went to his dad one night every two weeks,

843
00:55:20.320 --> 00:55:22.900
but his dad was not showing up at baseball games.

844
00:55:22.900 --> 00:55:24.460
His dad was not really important.

845
00:55:24.460 --> 00:55:27.820
And so it was important for me to marry a man

846
00:55:27.840 --> 00:55:30.800
that was ready to be a father,

847
00:55:30.800 --> 00:55:34.640
that was ready to show up as a father would,

848
00:55:34.640 --> 00:55:36.660
biological or not.

849
00:55:36.660 --> 00:55:40.320
And so when I dated some younger guys,

850
00:55:40.320 --> 00:55:42.960
like there was one guy from our community,

851
00:55:42.960 --> 00:55:44.720
back in the day, it wasn't called Last Year's Single,

852
00:55:44.720 --> 00:55:46.000
it was called Married in 12 Months or Less.

853
00:55:46.000 --> 00:55:47.160
We called it M12M.

854
00:55:48.360 --> 00:55:50.280
And there was one of the guys in that community

855
00:55:50.280 --> 00:55:55.040
who surprisingly enough, lived pretty close to me,

856
00:55:55.040 --> 00:55:56.860
which was crazy to me

857
00:55:56.860 --> 00:56:00.160
because I lived in Sarasota, Florida,

858
00:56:00.160 --> 00:56:02.360
which there's not a lot of like 30, 40

859
00:56:02.360 --> 00:56:04.360
single somethings there, okay?

860
00:56:04.360 --> 00:56:06.800
Like, it's just really not.

861
00:56:06.800 --> 00:56:09.540
And so he was in this community,

862
00:56:09.540 --> 00:56:12.800
but he was several years younger than me.

863
00:56:12.800 --> 00:56:15.680
Super wonderful guy, very like charismatic,

864
00:56:15.680 --> 00:56:18.960
was just like, he was like the fun uncle.

865
00:56:18.960 --> 00:56:23.340
Like he was just like, just full of excitement, energy.

866
00:56:23.340 --> 00:56:25.840
Like he had an outgoing personality,

867
00:56:25.860 --> 00:56:27.980
which was very similar to mine.

868
00:56:27.980 --> 00:56:30.420
And I really liked him.

869
00:56:30.420 --> 00:56:32.620
But when I looked, I mean,

870
00:56:32.620 --> 00:56:35.420
when we really got to know each other and I had to assess,

871
00:56:35.420 --> 00:56:39.020
I was like, this guy is just not ready to be a dad.

872
00:56:39.860 --> 00:56:41.440
And it didn't make him a bad person,

873
00:56:41.440 --> 00:56:44.020
it just, he wasn't my person.

874
00:56:44.020 --> 00:56:45.740
And that was okay.

875
00:56:45.740 --> 00:56:48.940
And so I just saw he was more of,

876
00:56:48.940 --> 00:56:52.860
he was used to playing fun uncle role and not dad role.

877
00:56:53.840 --> 00:56:57.920
So it's about the season of life that you're in

878
00:56:57.920 --> 00:56:59.920
and looking at it that way.

879
00:57:01.200 --> 00:57:02.960
So hopefully that helps.

880
00:57:02.960 --> 00:57:05.520
Sigi, does that help answer your question?

881
00:57:05.520 --> 00:57:07.680
Are you finding yourself in a situation

882
00:57:07.680 --> 00:57:09.120
with maybe you're dating someone

883
00:57:09.120 --> 00:57:12.400
that's more than 10 years older than you?

884
00:57:12.400 --> 00:57:16.840
Well, actually, I have a couple people that have told me,

885
00:57:16.840 --> 00:57:19.600
hey, what about this guy trying to set me up?

886
00:57:19.600 --> 00:57:21.240
And they were much older

887
00:57:21.820 --> 00:57:25.420
and I did not really feel that comfortable with that.

888
00:57:25.420 --> 00:57:29.300
But on Facebook dating and even on Salt,

889
00:57:29.300 --> 00:57:32.120
there were some much younger men contacting me.

890
00:57:33.180 --> 00:57:35.700
And I'm in contact with them.

891
00:57:35.700 --> 00:57:39.460
I'm also in contact with one eight years older than me,

892
00:57:39.460 --> 00:57:40.680
which is fine right now.

893
00:57:40.680 --> 00:57:44.580
But with the younger guys, I mean, for right now,

894
00:57:44.580 --> 00:57:46.700
maybe the phases would be similar,

895
00:57:46.700 --> 00:57:50.540
but what about 10 or in 10 or 15 years,

896
00:57:50.540 --> 00:57:53.960
if I retire and they're in the,

897
00:57:53.960 --> 00:57:56.320
I mean, does Jackie coach about

898
00:57:57.360 --> 00:57:58.920
what phase are you in right now

899
00:57:58.920 --> 00:58:01.880
or what is the future bringing as well?

900
00:58:01.880 --> 00:58:04.440
Well, yeah, that's a good question.

901
00:58:04.440 --> 00:58:06.960
As you're like, I would say like in the season

902
00:58:06.960 --> 00:58:10.120
that you're in now and as you're getting to know them,

903
00:58:10.120 --> 00:58:14.040
in marriage, you're gonna go after the same things.

904
00:58:14.040 --> 00:58:16.840
Like you're gonna share dreams and stuff like that.

905
00:58:16.840 --> 00:58:21.840
So I'm just trying to think.

906
00:58:21.980 --> 00:58:24.860
So for example, like my husband and I,

907
00:58:24.860 --> 00:58:26.580
I was working at the time.

908
00:58:26.580 --> 00:58:29.340
I was a school teacher when my son was little,

909
00:58:29.340 --> 00:58:31.900
like super little, like two years old.

910
00:58:31.900 --> 00:58:36.060
I ended up leaving teaching because I was also had,

911
00:58:36.060 --> 00:58:39.140
sorry, ladies, I've got cats all over the house.

912
00:58:39.140 --> 00:58:42.380
So you might be hearing those crazy cats.

913
00:58:44.220 --> 00:58:45.860
So I was a teacher at one time

914
00:58:45.880 --> 00:58:48.320
and then I became, obviously I was a single mom

915
00:58:48.320 --> 00:58:49.700
when my son was born.

916
00:58:51.480 --> 00:58:52.960
And so I tried to go back to teaching

917
00:58:52.960 --> 00:58:54.560
and it was, I did that

918
00:58:54.560 --> 00:58:57.480
and I was working side jobs, waiting tables.

919
00:58:57.480 --> 00:59:00.640
I ended up leaving my teaching job

920
00:59:00.640 --> 00:59:02.620
just to work as a waitress.

921
00:59:02.620 --> 00:59:07.320
And so I did that for a number of years and I loved it.

922
00:59:07.320 --> 00:59:09.040
I, you know, it was great.

923
00:59:09.040 --> 00:59:11.000
And so when I met my husband,

924
00:59:11.840 --> 00:59:13.360
he was in a position to be like,

925
00:59:13.380 --> 00:59:16.780
hey, he was homeschooling his two older kids.

926
00:59:16.780 --> 00:59:18.380
I always wanted the opportunity

927
00:59:18.380 --> 00:59:21.060
to homeschool my youngest son.

928
00:59:21.060 --> 00:59:26.060
And so we were in this season of like, it works.

929
00:59:26.420 --> 00:59:29.060
He can provide, I can stay home.

930
00:59:29.060 --> 00:59:31.200
I have a teaching degree.

931
00:59:31.200 --> 00:59:33.180
I would love to homeschool my kids.

932
00:59:33.180 --> 00:59:36.940
We were on board with our same views of education

933
00:59:36.940 --> 00:59:38.500
and things like that.

934
00:59:38.500 --> 00:59:41.260
And so we did that.

935
00:59:41.280 --> 00:59:43.960
Ladies, it was a nightmare.

936
00:59:45.920 --> 00:59:47.840
Homeschooling my kids was a nightmare.

937
00:59:47.840 --> 00:59:51.440
Like blending a family and then like you get to,

938
00:59:51.440 --> 00:59:54.260
I mean, I inherited two teenagers

939
00:59:54.260 --> 00:59:56.920
and trying to like build a relationship with them

940
00:59:56.920 --> 00:59:58.860
and then teaching them.

941
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:08.320
after learning like they were being homeschooled and left to their own vices, like it was bad.

942
01:00:08.960 --> 01:00:15.760
And so, you know, my husband and I had to have a lot of serious conversations because he was

943
01:00:15.760 --> 01:00:24.640
not going to let go this idea of homeschooling our kids. But he learned to trust me and realized

944
01:00:24.640 --> 01:00:31.600
that it was just not my heart anymore. That I was just like, this is not working. There's other

945
01:00:31.600 --> 01:00:38.720
things that I want to do in my life. And we were able to come to an agreement and he sees these

946
01:00:38.720 --> 01:00:45.920
opportunities of like me wanting to grow and being able to pour more into other women and parents

947
01:00:45.920 --> 01:00:51.440
and things of that nature, that that's a desire and a dream of mine, even after my kids leave.

948
01:00:52.240 --> 01:00:59.760
And then even my husband, he's like, he was working a corporate job. And then

949
01:01:00.800 --> 01:01:11.920
as soon as we got married, his job was not stable anymore. And so we had like, at that point,

950
01:01:11.920 --> 01:01:17.360
then we were both like, we were married, we were in relationship, we were married, we were dedicated,

951
01:01:17.360 --> 01:01:24.400
committed to each other. And so our dreams and goals changed, but it's changed in the direction

952
01:01:24.400 --> 01:01:32.560
of future together. So he ended up leaving his job. So the first year of marriage, my husband's

953
01:01:32.560 --> 01:01:39.120
leaving his job and going out on his own, wanting to start a business. And so I have to, you know,

954
01:01:39.760 --> 01:01:48.800
it's scary for me, but we support each other in that. And so we value each other's dreams and

955
01:01:48.800 --> 01:01:54.560
goals and we move in that direction. So I would say in the season of life that you're in, because

956
01:01:54.560 --> 01:01:59.680
as you build a life together, a lot of those things are going to align and you're going to

957
01:01:59.680 --> 01:02:06.000
move into the future together. And you're going to learn, you're going to value and you're going

958
01:02:06.000 --> 01:02:11.600
to love your spouse and they're going to love you, that they're going to desire you to achieve

959
01:02:11.600 --> 01:02:16.880
your dreams and goals as well. And they're going to want to be alongside of you as well. So that's

960
01:02:16.880 --> 01:02:24.320
one thing, like my husband and I, like we talk about those things and, you know, I, and from

961
01:02:24.320 --> 01:02:31.440
other couples that I have learned that as you grow in your marriage, like those dreams and goals will

962
01:02:31.440 --> 01:02:36.960
just continue to keep growing and changing based on what your life is in the moment.

963
01:02:37.600 --> 01:02:44.880
Does that make sense? Does that help? I say, you know, people want to set you up with somebody

964
01:02:44.880 --> 01:02:50.000
and maybe they're a little bit older. It doesn't hurt to just get to know them, go out on a date.

965
01:02:50.960 --> 01:02:57.440
It doesn't have to be like, oh, this is a love match, love made in heaven. Jackie forced me

966
01:02:58.240 --> 01:03:02.240
to connect with guys. And she's like, look, I want you to go on a date with this guy. It's not a love

967
01:03:02.240 --> 01:03:09.520
connection. I'm like, what? Like, why? She's like, just go practice, go get, go enjoy getting to know

968
01:03:09.520 --> 01:03:15.920
people. Well, those two guys, they're actually in my church and I know them and they're both like

969
01:03:15.920 --> 01:03:24.080
10 or even more years older. And I don't know if I feel comfortable practicing with them because I

970
01:03:24.080 --> 01:03:29.840
know them. And I think, would it be weird to now switch to a date and then go back to, oh,

971
01:03:29.840 --> 01:03:35.280
let's stay friends or, yeah. Well, because I think, I mean, you're just like, hey, I mean,

972
01:03:35.280 --> 01:03:40.480
approach it as like, let's go out for coffee. I want to get to know you better and see if there's

973
01:03:40.480 --> 01:03:46.640
any connection there. And like, as you get to know them, like you can just mutually just say,

974
01:03:46.640 --> 01:03:51.040
you know what, if it's not a romantic, just be like, I really enjoy getting to know you. I just

975
01:03:51.040 --> 01:03:56.560
don't see this going in the direction of a romantic relationship. I had to do that with

976
01:03:56.560 --> 01:04:03.840
a handful of guys in this community. Okay. Like I was all about wanting to meet all guys from,

977
01:04:03.840 --> 01:04:07.600
from Jackie's community. Cause I was like, I don't want to do the online dating thing. I just want to

978
01:04:07.600 --> 01:04:12.480
meet a guy that already kind of knows Jackie's ways. All right. And I know some of you ladies

979
01:04:12.480 --> 01:04:18.160
are probably like, yeah, that's me. I want to meet ladies. I did the same thing. And there was a lot

980
01:04:18.160 --> 01:04:24.480
of guys that I had to just be like, thanks, but no things like, I really appreciate getting to

981
01:04:24.480 --> 01:04:28.960
know you. And here's the thing. If they're mature and they're, they're masculine, like divine

982
01:04:28.960 --> 01:04:34.320
masculine, you're going to respect that. I mean, the way I had to look at it and the way I was

983
01:04:34.320 --> 01:04:40.560
like envisioned and way that it was taught to me through Jackie is the last thing you or the other

984
01:04:40.560 --> 01:04:48.080
person is going to want is being in a relationship. That's not meant for marriage. So there's no

985
01:04:48.080 --> 01:04:54.720
there doesn't have to be any hard feelings. And if they do have hard feelings, then that's stuff

986
01:04:54.720 --> 01:04:59.840
that they have to go work out on them for them themselves. But you can go in it with

987
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.240
heart of like, you know what? I don't see this romantic going somewhere romantic. I want you

988
01:05:06.240 --> 01:05:11.520
to have the best opportunity to be in relationship with someone that God has for you and it's not me.

989
01:05:12.640 --> 01:05:16.880
And there, it literally, it doesn't have to be any hard feelings whatsoever. And again, ladies,

990
01:05:16.880 --> 01:05:22.960
as long as we're practicing these boundaries of not getting romantic, not getting like physically

991
01:05:22.960 --> 01:05:31.200
intimate with them, it doesn't have to be awkward. Like I said, I broke things off with guys that I

992
01:05:31.200 --> 01:05:37.760
was in level two with a handful of times. And some of them, I was still like, I still am in contact

993
01:05:37.760 --> 01:05:42.240
with them. Like one guy, I actually invited to my wedding because he was in this community.

994
01:05:42.800 --> 01:05:50.240
We were in a match, super nice guy. And I was like, you know, I still reach out and like,

995
01:05:50.240 --> 01:05:57.120
ask how he's doing, like things like that. And same thing with the, with the, the boy that the,

996
01:05:57.120 --> 01:06:02.320
I always called him like my Peter Pan boy. We always had names. We had code names for guys

997
01:06:02.320 --> 01:06:06.800
that we were dating. And the guy that was in this community that I knew was like the fun uncle,

998
01:06:06.800 --> 01:06:11.440
maybe I shouldn't say Peter Pan. Maybe I don't know if that's a very like compliment thing,

999
01:06:11.440 --> 01:06:17.280
but he was fun uncle. I'll call him fun uncle. He is someone that still lives back where I,

1000
01:06:17.280 --> 01:06:25.040
I was living and I have like guy friends, like my husband has a guy friend that wants to,

1001
01:06:25.680 --> 01:06:30.720
you know, get into a church community and things like that. And they have a lot of similarities

1002
01:06:30.720 --> 01:06:37.520
and I like reached out to him and I was like, Hey how are you doing? Is it okay that I give

1003
01:06:37.520 --> 01:06:44.320
your contact information to one of my husband's like friends who lives in your area? And like,

1004
01:06:44.320 --> 01:06:48.480
so I still reach out to him. There's no awkwardness. There's no weirdness. Like he's

1005
01:06:48.480 --> 01:06:55.280
dating a really cool chick. I'm obviously married. Like it doesn't have to be awkward because again,

1006
01:06:55.280 --> 01:07:03.840
if you are keeping those boundaries, then it, it, it really doesn't there. It can be a mature,

1007
01:07:04.640 --> 01:07:08.800
a mature, like, Hey, it's cool getting to know you, but we're not for each other.

1008
01:07:09.760 --> 01:07:16.320
Does that work? Yeah. Just one more. If I may, I'm going to move on to a couple of other people

1009
01:07:16.320 --> 01:07:21.120
and then stick, stick by and then I'll, I'll come, come back to you. Okay. Cause I think

1010
01:07:21.120 --> 01:07:30.560
Joanne and I don't know if she is still on Joanne. Yes, she is. Okay. You put it in your,

1011
01:07:30.560 --> 01:07:37.520
in the chat. Is it the one that in the chat? Yeah. I'm in the hospital. Okay. Yeah. You're good.

1012
01:07:37.520 --> 01:07:43.040
Okay. So she says she has a few guys that she's on level to Facebook dating. So you've either had

1013
01:07:43.840 --> 01:07:50.640
video chats or like face-to-face in-person dates and you're having trouble with discovery dating.

1014
01:07:51.520 --> 01:07:59.200
How, or when do I ask if they want children? Okay. So you are 50 years young and want a guy

1015
01:07:59.200 --> 01:08:07.040
who wants children with you. I think with this one again, like it can be one of those things where

1016
01:08:07.840 --> 01:08:13.440
again, you're probably not going to ask on like the first or second date, but as you're,

1017
01:08:13.440 --> 01:08:17.279
you're seeing that maybe you have some common interest and you're really enjoying getting to

1018
01:08:17.279 --> 01:08:24.080
know them. I think it could be one of those things like after you've had a few conversations where

1019
01:08:24.080 --> 01:08:29.600
you're just, you know, talking about that. Like, you know, do you have, do you have any nieces or

1020
01:08:29.600 --> 01:08:35.680
nephews? Like you have sit like, you know, what was your childhood like? Have you ever considered

1021
01:08:35.680 --> 01:08:43.680
having kids? Like you can have, I would say, ask those questions as I would say a couple of dates

1022
01:08:43.680 --> 01:08:51.760
in and see where that goes from there. That was always, I mean, I had that same thing cause I was,

1023
01:08:52.640 --> 01:08:57.760
I was like 38, 39 when I was in this community. I obviously I had a son already

1024
01:08:58.560 --> 01:09:06.800
and I wanted to have more kids. And so I was finding like guys that were a little bit older,

1025
01:09:06.800 --> 01:09:10.880
they may not have wanted them. And I had to also understand

1026
01:09:14.800 --> 01:09:23.520
because I was a little bit older, the idea of if someone wanted kids biologically,

1027
01:09:24.240 --> 01:09:27.200
were they going to be okay if I had a hard time getting pregnant?

1028
01:09:28.080 --> 01:09:35.279
And so at that point, like the best advice that I can give you is, you know, trusting,

1029
01:09:35.279 --> 01:09:40.399
trusting the Lord with that, like trusting the Lord has that desire and knowing like, yes,

1030
01:09:40.399 --> 01:09:47.520
are they open to having kids? But are you also open? And are they open with however God wants

1031
01:09:47.520 --> 01:09:52.880
to bring those kids in your life? That was a big one for me. Cause ladies, let me tell you,

1032
01:09:52.880 --> 01:09:59.600
I, I struggled with this because I dated a few guys that had vasectomies.

1033
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.960
And when I learned early on about that, like, I kind of was

1034
01:10:04.960 --> 01:10:07.560
like, that's not gonna work for me. Because at that at one

1035
01:10:07.560 --> 01:10:11.560
point, that was a non negotiable for me. Really, really wanted to

1036
01:10:11.560 --> 01:10:15.960
have my own birth baby. Because I had one already. And it was

1037
01:10:16.200 --> 01:10:23.000
not the best situation because I was in it was, I was, my son's

1038
01:10:23.000 --> 01:10:25.320
dad left me when I was seven months pregnant. So it wasn't

1039
01:10:25.320 --> 01:10:29.280
like, everything that I envisioned it. And so when I

1040
01:10:29.280 --> 01:10:32.440
learned that, like, it was a deal breaker for me. But ladies,

1041
01:10:32.960 --> 01:10:40.080
I met my husband, and got to know him. And then that topic

1042
01:10:40.080 --> 01:10:43.640
came up. And he had had a vasectomy, and he was not

1043
01:10:43.640 --> 01:10:48.800
interested in having more kids. And I was just like, I really

1044
01:10:48.800 --> 01:10:54.720
had to go to God. And when I went to him, I'm like, Lord,

1045
01:10:54.760 --> 01:11:01.120
like, what do I do? Like, you know, you told me I was going to

1046
01:11:01.120 --> 01:11:09.120
have more kids. Is this guy like someone you've sent? And God got

1047
01:11:09.120 --> 01:11:13.360
very real with me. And he's like, Carla, I told you, you

1048
01:11:13.360 --> 01:11:15.000
were going to have more children. I didn't say you were

1049
01:11:15.000 --> 01:11:23.240
going to birth them. I was like, Oh, I was like, okay, and

1050
01:11:23.280 --> 01:11:29.400
my husband had to two kids. So I was getting more children. It

1051
01:11:29.400 --> 01:11:32.480
just didn't look the way that I thought it was gonna look. But I

1052
01:11:32.480 --> 01:11:37.080
will tell you, God will give you peace. God will comfort your

1053
01:11:37.080 --> 01:11:44.760
heart. Okay? He knows. He knows like he has a plan. Okay. So I

1054
01:11:44.760 --> 01:11:47.560
would say again, when you're in that level two, and you're

1055
01:11:47.560 --> 01:11:52.160
getting to know people. And you see the like you see fruit, you

1056
01:11:52.160 --> 01:11:54.840
see fruit with a couple guys that you're, you know, in level

1057
01:11:54.840 --> 01:11:58.440
two relationship with, and you've gone on a couple dates.

1058
01:11:58.920 --> 01:12:01.400
And you're like, Okay, I want to see if this is going to grow

1059
01:12:01.400 --> 01:12:04.640
into something and that that point then have those

1060
01:12:04.640 --> 01:12:08.920
discussions. And you know, and go to God and ask him to reveal

1061
01:12:08.960 --> 01:12:12.760
to you like, Hey, is this is this guy, you know,

1062
01:12:12.760 --> 01:12:18.120
potentially somebody that wants kids, I want kids. So I want

1063
01:12:18.120 --> 01:12:22.400
someone who wants kids, you know, maybe go on a date

1064
01:12:22.400 --> 01:12:25.320
somewhere where like, there might be kids around, see how

1065
01:12:25.320 --> 01:12:30.040
they see how they respond to kids even. And you know, and

1066
01:12:30.040 --> 01:12:34.120
then that conversation can even come up naturally. You know, if

1067
01:12:34.120 --> 01:12:37.920
you see a guy is like, absolutely repulsed, like being

1068
01:12:37.920 --> 01:12:44.560
around some kids, like, okay, like, hey, like, you know, yeah,

1069
01:12:44.560 --> 01:12:48.240
I see you have a response to that. Like, do you do not like

1070
01:12:48.240 --> 01:12:50.320
being around kids? Have you never thought about having kids

1071
01:12:50.840 --> 01:12:55.480
of your own and then see what happens. So there's ways. Does

1072
01:12:55.480 --> 01:12:58.480
that does that give you at least a little some direction, Joanne?

1073
01:12:59.920 --> 01:13:04.360
Give me a thumbs up. I know. Okay. Okay. I hope it's giving

1074
01:13:04.360 --> 01:13:08.520
you some encouragement and like hope. And just again, it's the

1075
01:13:08.520 --> 01:13:12.760
trusting of the Lord. Really, you know, God knows your heart.

1076
01:13:12.760 --> 01:13:17.600
He knows your desires. You know, he's not gonna crush you. You

1077
01:13:17.600 --> 01:13:21.200
know, he's gonna give you what you want, in ways that you never

1078
01:13:21.200 --> 01:13:26.040
imagine. You know, and he'll comfort your heart too. So just

1079
01:13:26.040 --> 01:13:37.280
trust that. Trust that. I love you, girl. Yes, Julia. Thank you

1080
01:13:37.280 --> 01:13:40.440
so much for coming in. Ladies. I know we're about 15 minutes past

1081
01:13:40.440 --> 01:13:44.640
that hour. So if you do have to jump off, it's totally okay.

1082
01:13:44.680 --> 01:13:48.320
This will still I'm going to still continue to record. If you

1083
01:13:48.320 --> 01:13:53.480
have to jump off, and come back and catch the replay, you can

1084
01:13:53.480 --> 01:13:57.240
always fast forward that replay to where you had to leave. Okay,

1085
01:13:57.240 --> 01:14:04.320
so. But I do want to continue to take some of your questions. I

1086
01:14:04.320 --> 01:14:08.360
think Elaine asked her question. I think she had to jump off to

1087
01:14:09.600 --> 01:14:16.240
anybody else. I know Siggy said she had another question. But I

1088
01:14:16.240 --> 01:14:19.680
want to give everybody else an opportunity. I got y'all quiet

1089
01:14:19.680 --> 01:14:29.880
today. What's going on? What is happening? Anybody? If not, I'm

1090
01:14:29.880 --> 01:14:34.480
gonna let Siggy go. All right, Siggy, what you got?

1091
01:14:35.360 --> 01:14:39.600
Well, I'm just curious when you said your husband asked you to

1092
01:14:39.600 --> 01:14:44.240
be exclusive. If there were feelings involved already on

1093
01:14:44.240 --> 01:14:48.560
your part, when does the I feel in love jump in? Because I'm

1094
01:14:48.560 --> 01:14:54.800
just, I, I am, I think similar than you have been, I've always

1095
01:14:55.160 --> 01:14:59.320
gotten, you know, deep diving, and I can fall in love easily.

1096
01:14:59.320 --> 01:15:00.000
And I'm trying to

1097
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:06.480
step away from that and I'm trying on level two to not get them, you know, give them the bridge and

1098
01:15:06.480 --> 01:15:15.440
I mean just to not flirt too much and I'm trying to find a balance. Do you flirt? How much do you

1099
01:15:15.440 --> 01:15:21.600
flirt? How much do you let them flirt with you? How do you respond? Where are your boundaries? How

1100
01:15:21.600 --> 01:15:27.840
much do you keep your heart and your feelings in check and when is it okay to let it flow or to let

1101
01:15:28.480 --> 01:15:34.400
yeah when is it important to have feelings to move on? So it took me like several weeks

1102
01:15:35.280 --> 01:15:42.400
to really open up to the idea because I was pretty guarded and so

1103
01:15:44.640 --> 01:15:54.320
it took me a couple weeks but I am naturally like a very like bubbly person. I say this because

1104
01:15:55.040 --> 01:16:02.640
I am an introvert okay but I'm very social. I just have to recharge like I you know after

1105
01:16:02.640 --> 01:16:08.960
you know being around a lot of people like I'm an empath. I'm a feeler. I like love engaging

1106
01:16:08.960 --> 01:16:15.600
with people but then I have to kind of like go like recharge but when I'm around people

1107
01:16:16.240 --> 01:16:22.400
I can be very bubbly and open so I always just kind of come with just like an excitement and

1108
01:16:22.400 --> 01:16:30.240
a joy and just like really enjoy getting to know people so and so naturally I can be flirty

1109
01:16:31.040 --> 01:16:36.640
and just engaging like that's just like I want people to feel comfortable around me.

1110
01:16:37.440 --> 01:16:45.760
That's important that people feel seen and heard and so naturally that happens and so I feel like

1111
01:16:45.760 --> 01:16:51.520
that happened with my husband and I but like I said three weeks like I was ready to cut and run

1112
01:16:51.520 --> 01:16:59.760
like he was kind of over sharing and asking deep questions and I was like dude no. So but

1113
01:17:00.800 --> 01:17:06.240
one thing that I will emphasize and this has always been important for me to share in this

1114
01:17:06.240 --> 01:17:14.880
community and like with anybody that's single and like sharing my love story is God's part in it.

1115
01:17:15.840 --> 01:17:24.800
I really spent time intimately knowing my heavenly father and speaking to him about it and praying

1116
01:17:24.800 --> 01:17:31.120
about my husband and praying about you know my desires and and listening to you know certain

1117
01:17:31.120 --> 01:17:37.920
things and you know coming in this community just you know prophetic words that were spoken things

1118
01:17:38.480 --> 01:17:48.400
that God revealed to me and just through the years God spoke to me about several different

1119
01:17:48.400 --> 01:17:57.760
things so that when I met my husband there was so much confirmation on it. So

1120
01:17:59.600 --> 01:18:06.640
when I was in this community Jackie had us activate and like speak to God about

1121
01:18:06.640 --> 01:18:10.720
dreams she wanted us to start dreaming and and and we would like I would get

1122
01:18:12.000 --> 01:18:19.920
crazy supernatural dreams at night when I joined this community and even before like God can use

1123
01:18:19.920 --> 01:18:27.040
dreams to speak to me and visions and things like that and so but it was also daydreaming

1124
01:18:27.760 --> 01:18:34.000
and so I had dreams of things that I was like God like what do you have for me like what would

1125
01:18:34.000 --> 01:18:43.520
this look like and I remember one time he spoke he's like I was also being activated by Jackie

1126
01:18:43.520 --> 01:18:47.920
for us to do some purging like things that we needed to get rid of not just the dead things

1127
01:18:47.920 --> 01:18:53.440
that you need to purge but the good things there's good things in life that sometimes we purge

1128
01:18:53.440 --> 01:19:00.080
to get great and so when I was in this season and really felt like this you know Jackie's word of

1129
01:19:00.080 --> 01:19:05.600
purging was really strong and I remember going to God and saying God do I need to purge my job

1130
01:19:05.600 --> 01:19:09.920
do I need to go in a different direction for my job because at this point I was just waiting tables

1131
01:19:09.920 --> 01:19:16.240
and I was like is this holding me back and God's like no you're not your job is good you're right

1132
01:19:16.240 --> 01:19:25.760
where you need to be you're providing for your son right now and yourself and he said but when

1133
01:19:25.760 --> 01:19:33.520
you and your husband are together you are going to go in business together and I was like what

1134
01:19:33.520 --> 01:19:40.720
like I am not this like business savvy mind like I like it just isn't like I'm not one of those like

1135
01:19:40.720 --> 01:19:45.920
go-getters like I'm going to start my own business I'll have dreams of it and think of like oh that

1136
01:19:45.920 --> 01:19:51.200
would be a cool idea but I'm not the one that's going to implement it I will have the vision and

1137
01:19:51.200 --> 01:19:56.720
the dream of it but I'm not an implementer and so that was very bizarre to me because

1138
01:19:56.720 --> 01:19:59.840
I never saw myself as that I was like okay whatever God

1139
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:03.960
And through the, you know, through the years,

1140
01:20:03.960 --> 01:20:08.320
I had even one of my other like Holy Spirit filled friends

1141
01:20:08.320 --> 01:20:10.640
was like, you have like an entrepreneurial spirit.

1142
01:20:10.640 --> 01:20:12.760
And I was like, what are you talking about?

1143
01:20:12.760 --> 01:20:14.880
Like, that's just not me.

1144
01:20:14.880 --> 01:20:16.600
And so it was just all these little things.

1145
01:20:16.600 --> 01:20:19.560
And one of our conversations with my husband,

1146
01:20:19.560 --> 01:20:21.800
I was sharing with him a passion that I had

1147
01:20:21.800 --> 01:20:25.360
and how like strongly I felt about churches

1148
01:20:25.360 --> 01:20:27.760
serving single parents.

1149
01:20:27.760 --> 01:20:30.920
Cause I felt like single parents really are underserved

1150
01:20:30.920 --> 01:20:33.440
and a lot of churches don't know how

1151
01:20:33.440 --> 01:20:35.320
to serve single parents.

1152
01:20:35.320 --> 01:20:37.320
Like they think they know, but they don't know.

1153
01:20:37.320 --> 01:20:39.980
I mean, even in the church that I'm in now,

1154
01:20:39.980 --> 01:20:44.360
like they're like, we don't know how to serve.

1155
01:20:44.360 --> 01:20:46.680
Like, and I have some of the experience

1156
01:20:46.680 --> 01:20:48.480
because I'm like, I've been there.

1157
01:20:48.480 --> 01:20:50.560
I know what it's like to be a single mama.

1158
01:20:50.560 --> 01:20:53.120
All right, I know the things that I need

1159
01:20:53.120 --> 01:20:57.720
and I know how sometimes like single parents get overlooked.

1160
01:20:58.560 --> 01:20:59.400
And so sharing this with my husband

1161
01:20:59.400 --> 01:21:00.640
and sharing some of my ideas with him,

1162
01:21:00.640 --> 01:21:03.440
he's like, that's a great business plan.

1163
01:21:03.440 --> 01:21:05.400
And I remember like, Holy Spirit,

1164
01:21:05.400 --> 01:21:07.840
like shook me for a minute.

1165
01:21:07.840 --> 01:21:12.080
And I was like, and I was immediately reminded

1166
01:21:12.080 --> 01:21:17.080
of the conversation that I had with God about that.

1167
01:21:17.200 --> 01:21:20.240
And ladies, I was so like, I was like, I told you,

1168
01:21:20.240 --> 01:21:22.800
I was like ready to cut and run for my husband.

1169
01:21:22.800 --> 01:21:25.320
When I first like started getting to know him,

1170
01:21:25.320 --> 01:21:27.360
I immediately changed the subject.

1171
01:21:28.040 --> 01:21:29.280
I was like, no, I'm not going down this road.

1172
01:21:29.280 --> 01:21:32.000
Like God, I don't know about that.

1173
01:21:32.000 --> 01:21:34.200
And so it was like, that was something

1174
01:21:34.200 --> 01:21:35.860
that God really spoke to me.

1175
01:21:37.720 --> 01:21:39.440
There was a prophetic activation

1176
01:21:39.440 --> 01:21:41.860
that I did in this community.

1177
01:21:43.120 --> 01:21:45.400
We would do like on our prayer calls,

1178
01:21:45.400 --> 01:21:48.660
there was one like certain prayer leader,

1179
01:21:48.660 --> 01:21:50.880
she would have us like do things.

1180
01:21:50.880 --> 01:21:52.640
And so it was around Christmas time.

1181
01:21:52.640 --> 01:21:55.560
I think it was like in 2020 or something like that.

1182
01:21:55.560 --> 01:21:59.520
And she's like, you are a gift to your future husband.

1183
01:21:59.520 --> 01:22:02.680
And she's like, go jump out of your Christmas tree.

1184
01:22:02.680 --> 01:22:03.560
I was like, what?

1185
01:22:03.560 --> 01:22:04.960
She's like, you can turn your camera off

1186
01:22:04.960 --> 01:22:06.360
if you're too shy to do it.

1187
01:22:06.360 --> 01:22:09.600
Ladies, I was like in prayer and all that kind of stuff.

1188
01:22:09.600 --> 01:22:12.680
And I went and stood like right next to my tree

1189
01:22:12.680 --> 01:22:15.580
and was like, you know, did this activation.

1190
01:22:15.580 --> 01:22:18.960
I'm like, okay, Lord, I'm a gift to my husband, right?

1191
01:22:18.960 --> 01:22:21.280
And like, you know, lifted my hands up

1192
01:22:21.280 --> 01:22:24.000
and I thought it was like the kookiest thing to do.

1193
01:22:24.000 --> 01:22:27.360
Like, I was like, what is this like prayer leader

1194
01:22:27.360 --> 01:22:29.800
in this community having me do?

1195
01:22:29.800 --> 01:22:33.280
Ladies, on my first date with my husband,

1196
01:22:34.380 --> 01:22:36.440
we were at this restaurant

1197
01:22:37.400 --> 01:22:39.040
and it was like a nicer restaurant.

1198
01:22:39.040 --> 01:22:40.100
And like, Jackie's always like,

1199
01:22:40.100 --> 01:22:42.400
don't go to the expensive nice restaurants on the first date

1200
01:22:42.400 --> 01:22:44.280
but my husband picked it.

1201
01:22:44.280 --> 01:22:45.920
And I was like, oh man, I'm like,

1202
01:22:45.920 --> 01:22:48.680
I literally was like, he's like picked this like fancy,

1203
01:22:48.680 --> 01:22:52.100
nice restaurant, like, oh my goodness.

1204
01:22:52.100 --> 01:22:54.940
He was already seated at the table when I got there

1205
01:22:54.940 --> 01:22:57.260
because there was an upstairs,

1206
01:22:57.260 --> 01:22:59.220
which was the nicer restaurant.

1207
01:22:59.220 --> 01:23:01.860
And then there was like a downstairs, like casual restaurant

1208
01:23:01.860 --> 01:23:04.420
and I was searching the casual restaurant for him.

1209
01:23:04.420 --> 01:23:07.260
No, he was at the nicer restaurant upstairs.

1210
01:23:07.260 --> 01:23:09.580
I was like, oh my God, what is happening?

1211
01:23:09.580 --> 01:23:12.260
So he was already seated at the table.

1212
01:23:12.260 --> 01:23:15.860
I go up there, tell the hostess like,

1213
01:23:15.860 --> 01:23:18.140
okay, I'm here to meet somebody.

1214
01:23:18.140 --> 01:23:20.380
And she's like, oh yeah, there's a guy here.

1215
01:23:20.380 --> 01:23:21.260
He's already seated.

1216
01:23:21.260 --> 01:23:23.420
And she's like, here, if you turn down this way

1217
01:23:23.420 --> 01:23:27.100
and go down this, you know, like, you know, walkway,

1218
01:23:27.100 --> 01:23:29.820
he's down at the end of the walkway.

1219
01:23:29.820 --> 01:23:34.240
Ladies, it was so weird how this restaurant was set up.

1220
01:23:35.640 --> 01:23:38.380
This table was like not,

1221
01:23:38.380 --> 01:23:41.020
it was like almost like it was in the middle of nowhere.

1222
01:23:41.020 --> 01:23:43.100
Like all these other tables were like in like,

1223
01:23:43.100 --> 01:23:44.660
it looked like more of a room.

1224
01:23:44.660 --> 01:23:46.740
This one was just awkwardly placed.

1225
01:23:46.740 --> 01:23:48.100
And then there was a couple other ones,

1226
01:23:48.100 --> 01:23:50.320
like kind of down this other like row.

1227
01:23:51.160 --> 01:23:52.000
It was weird.

1228
01:23:52.000 --> 01:23:56.120
But right next to the table was a Christmas tree.

1229
01:23:57.600 --> 01:24:00.080
I was like, oh, and I love Christmas.

1230
01:24:00.080 --> 01:24:01.980
I was like, oh, Christmas, you know?

1231
01:24:01.980 --> 01:24:06.380
And I was seated with the tree right behind me.

1232
01:24:08.520 --> 01:24:11.720
And I'm like, hold up.

1233
01:24:11.720 --> 01:24:14.640
Like, and I like, that didn't like dawn on me

1234
01:24:14.640 --> 01:24:16.800
until like after the date.

1235
01:24:16.800 --> 01:24:20.400
And I was like, oh, this activation that it did.

1236
01:24:20.400 --> 01:24:22.640
And so like, as I was like getting to know him

1237
01:24:22.640 --> 01:24:26.200
and sharing things, there was just so many,

1238
01:24:27.280 --> 01:24:32.080
so many confirmations that God had like spoken to me

1239
01:24:32.080 --> 01:24:34.840
that were just starting to come in alignment.

1240
01:24:34.840 --> 01:24:39.640
And it was really, God was just like sharing with me,

1241
01:24:39.640 --> 01:24:42.240
like, I have this guy handpicked for you.

1242
01:24:43.160 --> 01:24:45.520
And I've been in it the whole time.

1243
01:24:45.520 --> 01:24:47.040
You just weren't ready for it.

1244
01:24:47.040 --> 01:24:48.320
Because ladies, I don't know,

1245
01:24:48.320 --> 01:24:50.200
like you might've heard this story.

1246
01:24:50.200 --> 01:24:51.980
I know that we got some new ladies on here.

1247
01:24:51.980 --> 01:24:53.960
You might not have heard this story.

1248
01:24:53.960 --> 01:24:58.440
But I was, my non-negotiable was,

1249
01:24:58.440 --> 01:25:00.240
I was not moving out of the state.

1250
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.400
Florida. I loved Florida. I'd lived there for 15 years. I was

1251
01:25:06.400 --> 01:25:13.440
not moving. And I had a conversation with Jackie. And

1252
01:25:13.560 --> 01:25:17.640
she's like, I don't, I don't think your husband's in your

1253
01:25:17.640 --> 01:25:22.840
area. Now she had been she had felt the Lord. When I first met

1254
01:25:22.840 --> 01:25:28.080
Jackie, she felt the Lord told her like basically she she

1255
01:25:28.080 --> 01:25:31.560
thought I was going to move. She's like, I always felt like

1256
01:25:31.560 --> 01:25:33.880
you were going to move and she would put those little nuggets

1257
01:25:33.880 --> 01:25:37.520
in there for me. But she's and she'll tell you she is not about

1258
01:25:37.520 --> 01:25:44.040
to encourage any singles with children to move away from their

1259
01:25:44.040 --> 01:25:50.120
other parents. But she also learned a new like my situation

1260
01:25:50.120 --> 01:25:53.520
and she's like, I don't I don't think I don't think you have to

1261
01:25:53.520 --> 01:25:59.920
be tied there. I think it's you're gonna move. So she had

1262
01:25:59.920 --> 01:26:02.280
shared with me, like, I don't think I don't like your

1263
01:26:02.280 --> 01:26:07.760
husband's near you. You got to be willing to like relocate. And

1264
01:26:07.760 --> 01:26:11.600
I was like, no, they had really good to me. But one of the last

1265
01:26:11.600 --> 01:26:16.180
conversations I had with her before I met my husband. I was

1266
01:26:16.180 --> 01:26:19.560
really like done. I was like, I'm done with this. I'm done

1267
01:26:19.560 --> 01:26:22.320
with dating. I can't do this. I've been in this community for

1268
01:26:22.320 --> 01:26:27.720
two years. It's not happening. I'm, I'm, I'm just I tore up

1269
01:26:27.720 --> 01:26:32.120
from the floor up like it's, it's just not working. And so

1270
01:26:32.360 --> 01:26:35.840
but she she opened my eyes to that. And I was like, fine, God's

1271
01:26:35.840 --> 01:26:39.120
just gonna have to do it in a crazy way. Well, then a week

1272
01:26:39.120 --> 01:26:42.680
later, this guy reaches out to me from because one of my

1273
01:26:42.680 --> 01:26:46.760
friends in this community shared my information with him. And

1274
01:26:46.760 --> 01:26:50.920
when she looked at his information, it said that he

1275
01:26:51.920 --> 01:26:56.120
works remotely, but he travels 10% of the year for work. And

1276
01:26:56.120 --> 01:27:01.440
his work was in Clearwater, Florida. So I was under the

1277
01:27:01.440 --> 01:27:06.080
impression while you work, but you sometimes have to leave 10%

1278
01:27:06.400 --> 01:27:08.560
out of the you know, he didn't actually he didn't share that he

1279
01:27:08.560 --> 01:27:13.320
worked remotely. He just says that he travels for work. So I

1280
01:27:13.320 --> 01:27:15.480
thought, okay, he lives in Clearwater. And sometimes he has

1281
01:27:15.480 --> 01:27:18.640
to leave and travel for work. So when he reached out to me,

1282
01:27:18.640 --> 01:27:21.640
I'm like, Hey, I'm in Sarasota, Florida. It's pretty close to

1283
01:27:21.640 --> 01:27:25.960
Clearwater. Is that where you live? Like, how close like, how

1284
01:27:25.960 --> 01:27:30.760
close are you from Sarasota? He's like, Oh, I don't I don't

1285
01:27:30.760 --> 01:27:34.160
live in Florida. I live in Texas. And I was like, you got

1286
01:27:34.160 --> 01:27:38.480
me flipping kidding me. Like what? But he's like, Oh, I'm

1287
01:27:38.480 --> 01:27:41.760
sorry. Is that a problem? And I'm like, No, my mentor kind of

1288
01:27:41.760 --> 01:27:45.480
said I need to be open to dating people that aren't near

1289
01:27:45.480 --> 01:27:51.320
me. So I'm like, I'm willing to get to know you. So I had to

1290
01:27:51.320 --> 01:27:54.120
even go to God with that because I was like, I'm not I'm not

1291
01:27:54.120 --> 01:28:00.400
moving. I'm not moving. And so it was more of like God

1292
01:28:00.400 --> 01:28:06.640
highlighting to me and giving me peace about opening my heart to

1293
01:28:06.640 --> 01:28:11.200
this person. And really like truly like wanting to get to

1294
01:28:11.200 --> 01:28:17.520
know him. And again, he was so intentional and masculine and

1295
01:28:17.520 --> 01:28:22.320
mature. He was so respectful and he honored my boundaries. He

1296
01:28:22.360 --> 01:28:30.000
like it. He made me feel safe to be able to do that. And so I say

1297
01:28:30.000 --> 01:28:33.200
all of that is because again, when you are in God's

1298
01:28:33.200 --> 01:28:36.400
alignment, there's no, there's no questioning, there's no

1299
01:28:36.400 --> 01:28:40.680
confusion, there will be a piece of it, really do your best to

1300
01:28:40.680 --> 01:28:44.520
just enjoy the process and getting to know somebody. And

1301
01:28:44.520 --> 01:28:49.280
just, you know, listen to God, converse with him, share your

1302
01:28:49.280 --> 01:28:54.160
hopes and dreams, let him speak those things to you. And he will

1303
01:28:54.160 --> 01:28:57.200
show you and you know, it's it's beautiful. Like I can't tell

1304
01:28:57.200 --> 01:28:59.560
like I said, I can sit here and give you all these little

1305
01:28:59.560 --> 01:29:03.560
nuggets of all these God confirmation or God winks that

1306
01:29:03.560 --> 01:29:11.200
God was showing me, it's okay to press into this one. You

1307
01:29:11.200 --> 01:29:14.720
know, same thing like we we've decided to be exclusive. And

1308
01:29:14.720 --> 01:29:20.720
literally, the a few days, it was like a few days after we

1309
01:29:20.720 --> 01:29:27.240
decided to be exclusive. The night the morning after I shared

1310
01:29:27.240 --> 01:29:32.520
with my son about me being in a relationship and ladies, my son

1311
01:29:32.520 --> 01:29:35.280
was up. He woke up in the middle of the night with the

1312
01:29:35.280 --> 01:29:40.480
babysitter and saw me hugging my husband now at like, we were

1313
01:29:40.480 --> 01:29:43.360
just I mean, it was it was literally like a very like,

1314
01:29:43.520 --> 01:29:47.160
friendly hug. It wasn't like anything crazy. It was a hug

1315
01:29:47.160 --> 01:29:51.520
goodnight. He was helping me with my things because I had

1316
01:29:51.520 --> 01:29:56.200
packed like a charcuterie thing and like, we did like wine and

1317
01:29:56.200 --> 01:29:58.600
stuff because again, we were like exclusive at this point.

1318
01:29:58.600 --> 01:30:00.040
So we did like a picnic night

1319
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.860
a date. And so I brought all this stuff. And so he carried

1320
01:30:04.860 --> 01:30:07.580
like the bag and I took the bag at my front door and he gave me

1321
01:30:07.580 --> 01:30:12.740
a hug goodnight. My my son was up the stairs looking and seeing

1322
01:30:12.740 --> 01:30:16.380
me and he's like, Mom, who's that? Who is that boy? Why are

1323
01:30:16.380 --> 01:30:21.180
you hugging him? And I was like, and I remember like, doing God,

1324
01:30:21.180 --> 01:30:23.620
what do I do? What do I do? What do I do? Because I wasn't I

1325
01:30:23.620 --> 01:30:28.100
wasn't going to introduce or let my son know, unless I was

1326
01:30:28.100 --> 01:30:32.280
really sure. And I felt like this was going in that

1327
01:30:32.280 --> 01:30:35.120
direction. But I'm like, this is scary territory for me. I'm

1328
01:30:35.120 --> 01:30:38.540
like, God, I don't know what to do. That's like, tell him the

1329
01:30:38.540 --> 01:30:42.320
truth. I was like, really, God, like, you're ready for me to

1330
01:30:42.320 --> 01:30:47.280
share with my thing. He was seven at the time. Yeah, he was

1331
01:30:47.280 --> 01:30:51.840
seven. He had just turned seven. I'm like, okay. And so I told

1332
01:30:51.840 --> 01:30:55.240
my son and he's like, does this mean you're getting married? I

1333
01:30:55.260 --> 01:30:58.260
was like, really, God, you had me tell my son and now I'm

1334
01:30:58.260 --> 01:31:04.180
getting interrogated by my seven year old. And God's like, do you

1335
01:31:04.180 --> 01:31:09.900
trust me? It's okay to tell your son. He gave me such a piece

1336
01:31:09.900 --> 01:31:12.100
about it. And I told my son, I said, Well, honey, that's kind

1337
01:31:12.100 --> 01:31:16.180
of the idea, what we've been praying for. You know, my son

1338
01:31:16.340 --> 01:31:19.860
was, I mean, I was on these calls, we did these types of

1339
01:31:19.860 --> 01:31:23.420
calls in the evenings and stuff like that. Like, Jackie did

1340
01:31:23.420 --> 01:31:26.960
teachings, like, you know, we did love seats and stuff like

1341
01:31:26.960 --> 01:31:31.000
that. So my son would hear he would hear the us praying for

1342
01:31:31.000 --> 01:31:34.880
our husbands, like all of that stuff. And you know, it helped

1343
01:31:35.300 --> 01:31:40.400
nurture and like, cultivate my son's heart for it, too. And he

1344
01:31:40.400 --> 01:31:43.400
was ready for it. So he was so thrilled. And I was like, honey,

1345
01:31:43.400 --> 01:31:47.840
that's kind of the point. He was so excited. And so it was things

1346
01:31:47.840 --> 01:31:51.260
like that. And then that next morning, my son's biological

1347
01:31:51.260 --> 01:31:54.440
father called me because I mean, he was living in Florida as

1348
01:31:54.440 --> 01:31:58.240
well. And my son would go see him every other weekend. And

1349
01:31:58.240 --> 01:32:03.760
that next morning after I told my son, his biological dad

1350
01:32:03.760 --> 01:32:05.720
called me to tell me he was moving out of the state of

1351
01:32:05.720 --> 01:32:11.320
Florida. It literally like God was like, I told you, I got

1352
01:32:11.320 --> 01:32:17.000
this. It's all about my timing, Carla. And it really was because

1353
01:32:17.000 --> 01:32:26.020
had his dad not been like ready to go, I don't know how how much

1354
01:32:26.060 --> 01:32:29.100
courage I would have had to move out of the state of Florida

1355
01:32:29.100 --> 01:32:33.380
because I was sometimes I was very scared of his dad. I was

1356
01:32:33.380 --> 01:32:37.980
scared of him bullying me. And so God was like, you don't have

1357
01:32:37.980 --> 01:32:44.140
to worry I have you have no ties for you not to leave. Because

1358
01:32:44.140 --> 01:32:47.560
he's like, I already got taken care of. I knew he's like, I

1359
01:32:47.560 --> 01:32:51.220
knew when you know, your son's dad was going to need to move.

1360
01:32:52.960 --> 01:32:56.440
And that's when I mean, he brought my husband at the

1361
01:32:56.440 --> 01:32:59.040
perfect time. And let me tell you, it was really good for my

1362
01:32:59.040 --> 01:33:02.960
son, too. Because you know how hard it is for a seven year old

1363
01:33:03.360 --> 01:33:08.880
to have to explain to him that his dad is moving halfway across

1364
01:33:08.880 --> 01:33:12.120
the country. We were living in Florida, his dad was moving to

1365
01:33:12.120 --> 01:33:16.460
Michigan. A seven year old boy who struggles at a relationship

1366
01:33:16.460 --> 01:33:21.000
with his dad is having to learn that his dad is moving away from

1367
01:33:21.000 --> 01:33:25.500
him. It was perfect timing because you know how I was able

1368
01:33:25.500 --> 01:33:31.500
to pour into my son. He was getting another dad to not that

1369
01:33:31.500 --> 01:33:37.460
he was getting replaced. But God knew what he needed. And he

1370
01:33:37.460 --> 01:33:41.860
brought my husband to go be a father figure that the father

1371
01:33:41.860 --> 01:33:46.840
figure that my son was lacking. All right, I don't say that to

1372
01:33:46.840 --> 01:33:49.920
criticize his biological father, because there really was a lot

1373
01:33:49.920 --> 01:33:53.380
of healing and forgiveness. Not that I don't have hard times

1374
01:33:53.380 --> 01:34:00.320
with his dad, his biological dad. But it was a my husband

1375
01:34:00.320 --> 01:34:04.600
was able to come and step in in that role. And ladies like my

1376
01:34:04.600 --> 01:34:07.540
husband would come visit me because we were living apart for

1377
01:34:07.540 --> 01:34:11.800
a while. And he would come visit and he would come to my son's

1378
01:34:11.800 --> 01:34:16.180
baseball games. He lived halfway across that he lived in Texas,

1379
01:34:16.180 --> 01:34:21.060
my son and I were in Florida. And he would come for work and

1380
01:34:21.060 --> 01:34:26.820
come see us and you know, and he would make a point to show up at

1381
01:34:26.820 --> 01:34:32.380
my son's baseball games. And my my son's biological father lived

1382
01:34:32.380 --> 01:34:38.900
like 40 minutes away, and maybe came to one game in a season. My

1383
01:34:38.900 --> 01:34:43.640
husband had been to like, four or five games in one season

1384
01:34:43.640 --> 01:34:47.180
because he was coming frequently. And he'd show up,

1385
01:34:47.180 --> 01:34:48.960
you know, he'd be there for a week. So there would be two

1386
01:34:48.960 --> 01:34:54.920
games. Like he just like God is intricately involved in y'all's

1387
01:34:54.920 --> 01:34:58.440
love stories. Those ladies that are on here that have children,

1388
01:34:58.440 --> 01:35:00.080
he is involved in their

1389
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:03.920
love story too, because your love story is your kid's love story.

1390
01:35:04.960 --> 01:35:09.120
So God, like when you really do align and partner with him and you really spend

1391
01:35:09.120 --> 01:35:10.320
time in this program,

1392
01:35:10.360 --> 01:35:15.000
really leaning and pressing into to your heavenly father and

1393
01:35:15.000 --> 01:35:18.800
gleaning things and asking him to highlight things in areas that you need to

1394
01:35:18.840 --> 01:35:21.600
learn and grow. I mean, that's why I always say,

1395
01:35:21.600 --> 01:35:26.240
like when y'all are watching these videos, what can you, like, what is having,

1396
01:35:26.320 --> 01:35:29.760
you know, what is your heavenly father highlighting to you when you're out on

1397
01:35:29.760 --> 01:35:34.040
dates with guys? How are you responding to the things that men do?

1398
01:35:34.040 --> 01:35:36.480
Is there something being highlighted to you that you need,

1399
01:35:36.480 --> 01:35:41.160
you need to work and grow in? Because it's just, it's, again,

1400
01:35:41.160 --> 01:35:43.280
it's drawing you closer to your heavenly father,

1401
01:35:43.280 --> 01:35:48.240
because that in itself is the best thing you can get from this

1402
01:35:48.240 --> 01:35:52.640
community. The husband is just the,

1403
01:35:52.760 --> 01:35:56.720
is just the bonus. It's just like a little cherry on top,

1404
01:35:56.720 --> 01:36:01.600
but the real fruit from this program is having that intimate relationship

1405
01:36:01.600 --> 01:36:05.400
with heavenly father and letting him write your love story.

1406
01:36:06.120 --> 01:36:07.760
Ladies, I would never,

1407
01:36:08.240 --> 01:36:12.920
never have imagined my love story.

1408
01:36:12.920 --> 01:36:15.720
Like I would have never imagined this is how I would have met my husband.

1409
01:36:15.720 --> 01:36:20.160
I would have never imagined all these little things that happen that confirmed.

1410
01:36:20.880 --> 01:36:24.920
And I was thankful to it because let me tell you, when you step into marriage,

1411
01:36:24.920 --> 01:36:29.560
like it's not always easy. Like you're going to like hit some rough spots.

1412
01:36:29.600 --> 01:36:33.400
There's going to be some, like, it's that, you know, iron sharpens iron.

1413
01:36:33.400 --> 01:36:34.360
There's some things like,

1414
01:36:34.360 --> 01:36:37.640
there's some like hard things that have to really get smoothed out and worked

1415
01:36:37.640 --> 01:36:42.040
out. And you know, when you hit those like bumpy waters, like I told you ladies,

1416
01:36:42.040 --> 01:36:43.800
like we're blending a family. Ooh,

1417
01:36:44.200 --> 01:36:48.240
you'll hear Jackie say there's a reason why blended rhymes with offended.

1418
01:36:49.240 --> 01:36:50.520
Y'all it can be hard.

1419
01:36:50.800 --> 01:36:54.560
There's a lot of hard days when you're blending a family.

1420
01:36:54.840 --> 01:36:59.560
My husband also had to step away from his solid income

1421
01:37:00.520 --> 01:37:02.120
because things were Rocky.

1422
01:37:03.160 --> 01:37:07.840
And so that was not something that I anticipated homeschooling

1423
01:37:07.960 --> 01:37:11.600
three kids that I thought was like going to be this like picture perfect,

1424
01:37:11.600 --> 01:37:14.360
like scenario turned out to be a nightmare.

1425
01:37:15.160 --> 01:37:19.680
Like there was a lot of areas where we really had to grow together.

1426
01:37:19.680 --> 01:37:24.480
And so I was so thankful that God was involved

1427
01:37:24.720 --> 01:37:29.320
and I listened to him and I took his pacing and I went on his timing

1428
01:37:29.640 --> 01:37:33.920
because it reminds me every day that my

1429
01:37:33.920 --> 01:37:35.680
husband was handpicked by God.

1430
01:37:37.200 --> 01:37:40.720
So even when like we're going through some rough spots, because ladies,

1431
01:37:40.720 --> 01:37:44.680
let me tell you like you will, I mean,

1432
01:37:44.680 --> 01:37:46.920
how many of y'all have best friends and sometimes you get in fights with your

1433
01:37:46.920 --> 01:37:51.720
best friends. Y'all don't get in fights with your husbands too. Okay.

1434
01:37:51.760 --> 01:37:53.640
Let me tell you. All right.

1435
01:37:53.880 --> 01:37:57.960
Like there's some things that my husband does that irritates me.

1436
01:37:57.960 --> 01:38:00.800
And it really like sets me off at times.

1437
01:38:01.520 --> 01:38:06.240
And I have to choose to like wake up and I choose him every day because

1438
01:38:06.240 --> 01:38:09.160
God handpicked him. All right.

1439
01:38:10.320 --> 01:38:12.760
My husband has to wake up and choose me every day.

1440
01:38:12.760 --> 01:38:16.800
Cause sometimes I'm not the funniest to be around either. I mean,

1441
01:38:16.800 --> 01:38:19.920
I know y'all like see her thinking, Oh, like, no there's,

1442
01:38:20.360 --> 01:38:24.520
Carla doesn't have any yellow flag. There's nothing that she, you know,

1443
01:38:24.520 --> 01:38:28.520
she's just showing up glorious in her marriage all day, every day, ladies.

1444
01:38:29.520 --> 01:38:30.960
No, I'm being sarcastic.

1445
01:38:32.000 --> 01:38:36.560
There's times where I'm not the best version of myself and my husband still

1446
01:38:36.560 --> 01:38:37.400
chooses me.

1447
01:38:37.640 --> 01:38:41.840
So like it's so important that when you are in

1448
01:38:42.280 --> 01:38:43.440
these relationships,

1449
01:38:43.440 --> 01:38:47.000
it's like you really do have a strong intimate relationship with your heavenly

1450
01:38:47.000 --> 01:38:49.640
father because he's what gets you through.

1451
01:38:50.960 --> 01:38:54.880
So no, there do not always have to be the butterflies. No,

1452
01:38:55.600 --> 01:38:57.520
I'll tell you. And then you get in the marriage and then there's,

1453
01:38:57.520 --> 01:39:00.760
sometimes there's just not the best. Sometimes you're just like,

1454
01:39:01.360 --> 01:39:03.560
I need you to clean up after yourself.

1455
01:39:06.360 --> 01:39:08.760
Or why didn't this bill get paid?

1456
01:39:08.760 --> 01:39:12.800
It was due like several days ago and you completely neglected it.

1457
01:39:12.800 --> 01:39:17.880
And now we have a late fee. What are you doing? Like, so there's, you know,

1458
01:39:17.880 --> 01:39:21.440
there's all sorts of things. So yeah, it doesn't always have to be butterflies,

1459
01:39:21.760 --> 01:39:22.920
but I will tell you,

1460
01:39:24.560 --> 01:39:29.080
be open to like God just coming in soft and softening your heart to that

1461
01:39:29.080 --> 01:39:34.080
idea, get to know them, see the fruit and inspect the fruit.

1462
01:39:34.480 --> 01:39:37.720
That's there in these men. And just because, you know,

1463
01:39:37.720 --> 01:39:42.400
and I went on dates and there were lots of men that had great solid

1464
01:39:42.400 --> 01:39:45.480
fruit, but I just, there was just not a comfort in it.

1465
01:39:45.880 --> 01:39:48.480
And I knew they were good guys, but they just weren't mine.

1466
01:39:48.960 --> 01:39:49.920
And in that case,

1467
01:39:50.040 --> 01:39:54.040
you bring him to our community because he's maybe he's for one of your sisters

1468
01:39:54.040 --> 01:39:56.640
in here. But it's, again,

1469
01:39:56.640 --> 01:39:59.840
it's just having that relationship with heavenly father and really going to him.

1470
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:03.540
And it's okay to like people too.

1471
01:40:03.540 --> 01:40:10.280
Like I did, I did get excited talking about my husband.

1472
01:40:10.280 --> 01:40:13.240
Like I would come in this community and share about my dates.

1473
01:40:13.240 --> 01:40:14.360
All right.

1474
01:40:14.360 --> 01:40:19.760
Like I would come and I would do videos and like, oh my gosh, like this is what happened.

1475
01:40:19.760 --> 01:40:23.800
We did this on this date and I would get super excited and like giddy and all that kind of

1476
01:40:23.800 --> 01:40:24.880
stuff.

1477
01:40:24.880 --> 01:40:27.240
And so I did share that in this community.

1478
01:40:27.240 --> 01:40:33.160
I, you know, opened up and there were times there was absolute excitement in that.

1479
01:40:33.160 --> 01:40:36.080
And it was okay to be excited.

1480
01:40:36.080 --> 01:40:39.560
So I don't say like, don't sit here and like close yourself off.

1481
01:40:39.560 --> 01:40:43.920
You know, if you really enjoy somebody, enjoy them.

1482
01:40:43.920 --> 01:40:45.520
It really, you know, it's totally okay.

1483
01:40:45.520 --> 01:40:50.120
And if you want to flirt, you can flirt and you can still do that.

1484
01:40:50.120 --> 01:40:55.920
And it might not be a level three relationship in the future.

1485
01:40:55.920 --> 01:40:58.960
Or it might not, you know, you might be in level three and you're flirting and then something

1486
01:40:58.960 --> 01:41:02.120
kind of comes up and you realize this really isn't the person God has for you.

1487
01:41:02.120 --> 01:41:03.680
And that's okay too.

1488
01:41:03.680 --> 01:41:05.820
All right.

1489
01:41:05.820 --> 01:41:06.820
It's okay.

1490
01:41:06.820 --> 01:41:13.080
Like you're going to want to end relationships that are not God appointed and divine.

1491
01:41:13.080 --> 01:41:14.080
It's totally okay.

1492
01:41:14.080 --> 01:41:16.200
And there doesn't have to be hard feelings.

1493
01:41:16.200 --> 01:41:20.000
We do have that boundaries video where we talk about healthy conflict.

1494
01:41:20.000 --> 01:41:21.480
It's okay to have healthy conflict.

1495
01:41:21.480 --> 01:41:23.360
It's okay to have healthy conversations.

1496
01:41:23.360 --> 01:41:25.560
It's okay to communicate.

1497
01:41:26.200 --> 01:41:27.200
And there doesn't have to be hard feelings.

1498
01:41:27.200 --> 01:41:34.560
And at the end of the day, if someone has a hard feeling, it's there, it's theirs.

1499
01:41:34.560 --> 01:41:42.880
They are grown men and you all are grown women and you can sort that out on your own and

1500
01:41:42.880 --> 01:41:45.800
they can sort it out on their own.

1501
01:41:45.800 --> 01:41:46.800
So we don't have to.

1502
01:41:46.800 --> 01:41:50.880
So going into that, I know some ladies were talking about this fear of leading people

1503
01:41:50.880 --> 01:41:53.040
on ladies.

1504
01:41:53.040 --> 01:41:56.720
You're not leading anybody on.

1505
01:41:56.720 --> 01:42:01.740
If you're really, if you're communicating, you're, you're there to get to know them.

1506
01:42:01.740 --> 01:42:07.540
It's not a leading on leading on is where you are like actually manipulating and purposely

1507
01:42:07.540 --> 01:42:13.920
wanting to gain something from them and you have no desire to pour back into them.

1508
01:42:13.920 --> 01:42:16.760
Like that's a, that's that, that's manipulative.

1509
01:42:16.760 --> 01:42:18.600
That's that's leading people on.

1510
01:42:18.600 --> 01:42:20.800
That's taking advantage of somebody.

1511
01:42:20.880 --> 01:42:25.240
I, it's a heart, it's a heart posture.

1512
01:42:25.240 --> 01:42:26.760
It's not a, I'm getting to know you.

1513
01:42:26.760 --> 01:42:31.320
I feel bad that I'm going out on the second or third date and I really don't know if like

1514
01:42:31.320 --> 01:42:32.600
I want to continue it.

1515
01:42:32.600 --> 01:42:33.960
That's not leading someone on.

1516
01:42:33.960 --> 01:42:37.720
That's allowing yourself an opportunity to get to know them.

1517
01:42:37.720 --> 01:42:39.720
And that's totally okay.

1518
01:42:39.720 --> 01:42:42.680
All right.

1519
01:42:42.680 --> 01:42:45.280
I think I'm, I'm assuming I'll have any more questions.

1520
01:42:45.280 --> 01:42:47.600
I don't see any other hands raised.

1521
01:42:47.920 --> 01:42:50.920
Some of you ladies were quiet today.

1522
01:42:50.920 --> 01:42:51.920
Good.

1523
01:42:51.920 --> 01:42:52.920
What's that?

1524
01:42:52.920 --> 01:42:53.920
Try not to be so loud.

1525
01:42:53.920 --> 01:43:05.680
One of the things that I had the challenge with was the fact that I feel like the leading

1526
01:43:05.680 --> 01:43:08.840
on, like, you know, they're nice, they look nice.

1527
01:43:08.840 --> 01:43:09.840
They have their profile.

1528
01:43:09.840 --> 01:43:10.840
It seems nice.

1529
01:43:10.840 --> 01:43:15.840
And then you have a few chats and then you're like, I don't know, I don't know.

1530
01:43:15.840 --> 01:43:19.600
And then, so you feel kind of guilty, but then I guess the way that you're explaining,

1531
01:43:19.600 --> 01:43:21.640
I don't feel guilty that way, but I don't know.

1532
01:43:21.640 --> 01:43:26.120
So I'm trying to figure out what do I say to myself, that girl, this exploratory is

1533
01:43:26.120 --> 01:43:27.120
just exploratory.

1534
01:43:27.120 --> 01:43:28.120
Yeah.

1535
01:43:28.120 --> 01:43:29.120
It feels yellowish.

1536
01:43:29.120 --> 01:43:33.360
It may not turn, you know, green or may turn green.

1537
01:43:33.360 --> 01:43:34.440
I don't know.

1538
01:43:34.440 --> 01:43:37.880
So that's where it's like, come and come into this community.

1539
01:43:37.880 --> 01:43:38.880
Let us know.

1540
01:43:38.880 --> 01:43:42.840
Why does it like, what are you seeing that feels yellowish?

1541
01:43:42.840 --> 01:43:44.680
Like we'll help you talk through that.

1542
01:43:44.680 --> 01:43:49.320
And again, like, is, are you saying like you're seeing yellow flags in the chatting

1543
01:43:49.320 --> 01:43:56.080
conversation before getting on a video or before going on an in-person date?

1544
01:43:56.080 --> 01:44:00.520
So help me understand what things would you mark as yellow?

1545
01:44:00.520 --> 01:44:02.800
Like give me an example.

1546
01:44:02.800 --> 01:44:08.640
So like this one guy, you know, I saw he had a pretty decent profile, you know, Christian

1547
01:44:08.640 --> 01:44:10.880
and you know, tall, blah, blah, blah.

1548
01:44:10.880 --> 01:44:13.160
So I was like, okay, let me say hello.

1549
01:44:13.160 --> 01:44:16.280
You know, go from the community to a level one.

1550
01:44:16.280 --> 01:44:22.280
And then the first thing, sorry, that's the machine.

1551
01:44:22.280 --> 01:44:27.600
He dumps like a whole text of like, I'm single, I have my own apartment, blah, blah, blah,

1552
01:44:27.600 --> 01:44:28.600
blah.

1553
01:44:28.600 --> 01:44:29.600
In one text.

1554
01:44:29.600 --> 01:44:30.600
And I was like, okay.

1555
01:44:30.600 --> 01:44:34.080
And he's like, he's like, oh, I'm retired.

1556
01:44:34.080 --> 01:44:38.040
And I'm just like, okay, congratulations on retirement.

1557
01:44:38.040 --> 01:44:40.520
Like, I don't know what to say to that, you know?

1558
01:44:40.520 --> 01:44:41.520
Yeah.

1559
01:44:41.600 --> 01:44:46.920
And again, this is where, you know, you will have to extend grace to these guys, especially

1560
01:44:46.920 --> 01:44:54.200
if they're on dating apps, you know, like we have Jackie and y'all have a group of coaches

1561
01:44:54.200 --> 01:44:55.200
helping you.

1562
01:44:55.200 --> 01:44:56.200
These guys don't.

1563
01:44:56.200 --> 01:44:58.880
So yeah, he probably doesn't know.

1564
01:44:58.880 --> 01:44:59.880
Dude.

1565
01:44:59.880 --> 01:44:59.880


1566
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:02.400
You don't have to dump all that stuff.

1567
01:45:02.400 --> 01:45:03.360
I think it's just be like,

1568
01:45:03.360 --> 01:45:06.240
wow, thank you for sharing that information with me.

1569
01:45:06.240 --> 01:45:08.640
Tell me more about what kinds of things

1570
01:45:08.640 --> 01:45:11.560
that you like to do now that you're retired.

1571
01:45:11.560 --> 01:45:13.480
What does that look like for you?

1572
01:45:13.480 --> 01:45:16.080
What do you enjoy most about being retired?

1573
01:45:16.080 --> 01:45:18.040
Or what did you do

1574
01:45:18.040 --> 01:45:20.520
and what did you love most about your job?

1575
01:45:20.520 --> 01:45:22.800
I mean, again, it's that redirecting,

1576
01:45:22.800 --> 01:45:25.720
kind of shifting the conversation.

1577
01:45:25.720 --> 01:45:29.000
Again, not everybody knows how to text.

1578
01:45:29.000 --> 01:45:31.000
I mean, women do it too.

1579
01:45:31.000 --> 01:45:31.880
Ladies do it too.

1580
01:45:31.880 --> 01:45:33.120
It's not just a man thing.

1581
01:45:33.120 --> 01:45:34.920
It's a people thing.

1582
01:45:34.920 --> 01:45:36.440
We all don't, you know,

1583
01:45:36.440 --> 01:45:38.120
we're just in this world trying to date

1584
01:45:38.120 --> 01:45:41.360
and sometimes, and there's no handbook on it, right?

1585
01:45:41.360 --> 01:45:44.160
You know, and not everybody has a Jackie, like I said.

1586
01:45:44.160 --> 01:45:46.640
So, you know, it's just extending grace

1587
01:45:46.640 --> 01:45:51.360
and just understanding it can be awkward for them too.

1588
01:45:51.360 --> 01:45:55.240
And we don't know what experiences they've had in the past.

1589
01:45:55.240 --> 01:45:57.640
They don't know, you don't know, you know,

1590
01:45:57.640 --> 01:45:59.640
women that they've had to interact with,

1591
01:45:59.640 --> 01:46:01.680
unhealthy women they might have interacted

1592
01:46:01.680 --> 01:46:03.120
with on dating apps.

1593
01:46:03.120 --> 01:46:07.600
And a lot of times it's what we've experienced

1594
01:46:07.600 --> 01:46:10.320
is how we show up in the future.

1595
01:46:10.320 --> 01:46:14.280
And so again, they probably haven't had heart work.

1596
01:46:14.280 --> 01:46:18.120
So again, I think it's just extending grace,

1597
01:46:18.120 --> 01:46:21.920
you know, being polite when they bring up those types

1598
01:46:21.920 --> 01:46:24.120
of, you know, things like, oh, wow, you know,

1599
01:46:24.120 --> 01:46:26.640
like I appreciate you sharing that information with me.

1600
01:46:26.640 --> 01:46:27.960
Da-da-da-da-da.

1601
01:46:27.960 --> 01:46:30.160
And now if they start asking you questions

1602
01:46:30.160 --> 01:46:32.520
like about your exes and about all that kind of stuff,

1603
01:46:32.520 --> 01:46:36.680
you can be like, that's a really great question.

1604
01:46:36.680 --> 01:46:39.080
You can say, okay, if it's a question that you can answer,

1605
01:46:39.080 --> 01:46:42.720
but you seem like it's a little deep early on

1606
01:46:42.720 --> 01:46:44.600
and for like over a text, you can be like,

1607
01:46:44.600 --> 01:46:45.640
that's a really good question.

1608
01:46:45.640 --> 01:46:47.080
I would love to answer that.

1609
01:46:47.080 --> 01:46:48.840
Maybe if we could get on a video chat

1610
01:46:48.840 --> 01:46:51.000
so we can see each other's like facial expressions

1611
01:46:51.000 --> 01:46:52.640
and hear each other's tones.

1612
01:46:52.640 --> 01:46:54.680
Like that's, it's kind of one of those questions

1613
01:46:54.680 --> 01:46:57.320
that is more of a face-to-face question.

1614
01:46:57.320 --> 01:46:58.720
And so you can share that.

1615
01:46:58.720 --> 01:47:01.520
You can, then that kind of like segues

1616
01:47:01.520 --> 01:47:04.320
into like getting in front of them.

1617
01:47:04.320 --> 01:47:08.400
Or if it's something about an ex or like a past relationship

1618
01:47:08.400 --> 01:47:09.520
or if you've been divorced

1619
01:47:09.520 --> 01:47:12.080
and they want to know more information,

1620
01:47:12.080 --> 01:47:14.920
then we coach you ladies to respond.

1621
01:47:14.920 --> 01:47:18.960
Like, you know, I really appreciate that question

1622
01:47:18.960 --> 01:47:22.080
with us just, you know, newly getting to know each other.

1623
01:47:22.120 --> 01:47:23.680
I like to see where this goes

1624
01:47:23.680 --> 01:47:26.120
before I get into that kind of stuff.

1625
01:47:26.120 --> 01:47:29.960
So let's just see where this leads

1626
01:47:29.960 --> 01:47:32.880
and we can always revisit this question in the future.

1627
01:47:32.880 --> 01:47:34.400
Would that be okay with you?

1628
01:47:35.480 --> 01:47:37.640
And then you, now you've set a boundary.

1629
01:47:37.640 --> 01:47:40.680
You're asking them like, okay, is this like,

1630
01:47:40.680 --> 01:47:42.400
I would appreciate like, you know,

1631
01:47:42.400 --> 01:47:45.440
let's have this conversation for later on.

1632
01:47:45.440 --> 01:47:47.200
Is that all right?

1633
01:47:47.200 --> 01:47:51.520
Because now you've put in that position where it's like,

1634
01:47:51.520 --> 01:47:53.160
this is what I feel comfortable with.

1635
01:47:53.160 --> 01:47:56.800
And now you allow that man to honor and respect

1636
01:47:56.800 --> 01:47:58.360
a boundary and a comfort.

1637
01:47:58.360 --> 01:47:59.440
And again, that comes back.

1638
01:47:59.440 --> 01:48:02.120
Now the masculine can show up.

1639
01:48:02.120 --> 01:48:04.360
They can honor that.

1640
01:48:04.360 --> 01:48:05.960
And then they might, you know,

1641
01:48:05.960 --> 01:48:07.680
and again, this will help you.

1642
01:48:07.680 --> 01:48:09.320
They'll maybe honor it in that moment.

1643
01:48:09.320 --> 01:48:12.760
Now, if the next conversation or like, you know,

1644
01:48:12.760 --> 01:48:14.200
you conversations down the road,

1645
01:48:14.200 --> 01:48:16.520
they try to bring it up again.

1646
01:48:16.520 --> 01:48:18.760
You can, again, like lay the groundwork.

1647
01:48:18.760 --> 01:48:21.320
And if they keep prepping or probing

1648
01:48:22.200 --> 01:48:23.960
then that's when you're like, okay,

1649
01:48:23.960 --> 01:48:26.080
they're not being considerate of that.

1650
01:48:26.080 --> 01:48:27.760
And that might be where you're like, okay,

1651
01:48:27.760 --> 01:48:30.160
this is a flag that's kind of turning

1652
01:48:30.160 --> 01:48:31.960
like a little orangish red.

1653
01:48:31.960 --> 01:48:35.720
Okay, so maybe I don't see this going anywhere

1654
01:48:35.720 --> 01:48:36.680
sort of thing.

1655
01:48:37.520 --> 01:48:39.560
But if they honor that and they respect that,

1656
01:48:39.560 --> 01:48:43.080
then that's that yellow flag is now turning green

1657
01:48:43.080 --> 01:48:46.520
because you've communicated what you're comfortable with.

1658
01:48:46.520 --> 01:48:48.920
And now they get to choose to honor that or not.

1659
01:48:49.920 --> 01:48:52.280
So I get, I totally get what you're saying.

1660
01:48:52.280 --> 01:48:55.160
Like sometimes these men on dating apps,

1661
01:48:55.160 --> 01:49:00.120
like they just dump, my husband dumped a lot of stuff.

1662
01:49:00.120 --> 01:49:01.680
My husband was right out the gate

1663
01:49:01.680 --> 01:49:06.680
sharing how his late wife died and she was unhealthy.

1664
01:49:09.840 --> 01:49:11.760
She was borderline,

1665
01:49:11.760 --> 01:49:14.120
like she had borderline personality disorder.

1666
01:49:14.120 --> 01:49:15.160
It's very toxic.

1667
01:49:15.160 --> 01:49:17.200
His marriage was held for 11 years.

1668
01:49:17.200 --> 01:49:18.760
I mean, my husband dumped some of this stuff

1669
01:49:19.600 --> 01:49:22.240
and after I was like, I'm gonna cut and run.

1670
01:49:22.240 --> 01:49:23.440
I don't like this one bit.

1671
01:49:23.440 --> 01:49:27.040
I remember going to Jackie and being like, I don't know.

1672
01:49:27.040 --> 01:49:30.120
And she's like, Harla, just go on a date,

1673
01:49:30.120 --> 01:49:32.480
get to know him, enjoy the process.

1674
01:49:32.480 --> 01:49:35.000
She's like, stop overthinking everything

1675
01:49:35.000 --> 01:49:36.360
because I'm an overthinker.

1676
01:49:36.360 --> 01:49:38.680
I'm a deep diver and then I overthink everything.

1677
01:49:38.680 --> 01:49:40.720
And she's like, let it go.

1678
01:49:40.720 --> 01:49:42.200
Just go have fun.

1679
01:49:42.200 --> 01:49:44.280
Let a guy take you out on a nice date.

1680
01:49:45.280 --> 01:49:48.000
So I was, I mean, my husband did that.

1681
01:49:48.040 --> 01:49:49.640
My husband didn't have a Jackie.

1682
01:49:50.800 --> 01:49:52.680
He asked a lot of deep personal questions

1683
01:49:52.680 --> 01:49:56.920
and I was like, no dude, I'm not answering that yet.

1684
01:49:56.920 --> 01:50:00.080
And again, my husband respected it and he was okay with it.

1685
01:50:00.960 --> 01:50:05.960
So not, not all guys that do that are bad guys.

1686
01:50:06.640 --> 01:50:07.800
My husband is one of them.

1687
01:50:09.800 --> 01:50:12.160
Like sometimes he's like, well, I don't know.

1688
01:50:12.160 --> 01:50:14.240
I just needed, and I'm like, I get it, honey.

1689
01:50:14.240 --> 01:50:18.720
But my whole thing was your late wife is no longer on this earth.

1690
01:50:18.760 --> 01:50:20.400
She cannot defend herself.

1691
01:50:21.360 --> 01:50:26.040
But obviously I saw through time, like he was open to counseling.

1692
01:50:26.280 --> 01:50:28.800
He, he and her went to therapy.

1693
01:50:29.520 --> 01:50:32.760
I even like we ended up going to the same therapist.

1694
01:50:32.760 --> 01:50:37.000
So I learned a lot of details about it and realized like he really did go

1695
01:50:37.000 --> 01:50:40.720
through a lot of trauma in this past marriage.

1696
01:50:40.720 --> 01:50:47.400
And so he was bringing some stuff in, but I also saw how he was willing

1697
01:50:47.400 --> 01:50:51.200
to learn and grow and not make those same mistakes.

1698
01:50:51.200 --> 01:50:53.920
And so that's why it was a green flag for me.

1699
01:50:54.400 --> 01:50:56.280
But again, I didn't see that overnight.

1700
01:50:56.280 --> 01:50:58.240
I didn't see that just in a couple of dates.

1701
01:50:58.560 --> 01:50:59.880
I saw that in time.

1702
01:51:00.480 --> 01:51:02.920
And so once we were in exclusive relationship, we could

1703
01:51:02.920 --> 01:51:04.480
really talk about those things.

1704
01:51:04.480 --> 01:51:06.920
And then obviously he was coming to visit my son.

1705
01:51:07.280 --> 01:51:09.520
He had interactions with my son's dad.

1706
01:51:09.880 --> 01:51:15.080
And so I had to open up a little bit more about my situation and how

1707
01:51:15.080 --> 01:51:20.560
I grew and, and, and, you know, healed from that, I mean, even now

1708
01:51:20.560 --> 01:51:25.320
my husband sometimes doesn't understand how I can just let things go with

1709
01:51:25.320 --> 01:51:28.160
my son's dad, because he gets very protective.

1710
01:51:28.160 --> 01:51:31.360
He gets really angry with how his dad shows up.

1711
01:51:31.360 --> 01:51:36.040
And I'm like, you have to understand, like I've gone through, you know,

1712
01:51:36.080 --> 01:51:38.120
nine years of healing from this.

1713
01:51:38.120 --> 01:51:41.800
And, and I, I just know how to handle it.

1714
01:51:41.800 --> 01:51:44.600
I don't have to get hurt and offended and upset anymore.

1715
01:51:45.200 --> 01:51:47.480
Like I just have to show up for my son.

1716
01:51:48.280 --> 01:51:53.560
So like, there's just, you learn that and you grow in that, but you know, not

1717
01:51:53.560 --> 01:51:58.480
everybody's going to make, you know, the best, they might not show, you know,

1718
01:51:58.480 --> 01:52:00.200
they're going to show some yellow flags.

1719
01:52:02.840 --> 01:52:07.440
My husband did, but he also had those yellow flags turn green with time.

1720
01:52:08.560 --> 01:52:08.920
Okay.

1721
01:52:08.920 --> 01:52:10.880
Thank you, Joanna or Joanne.

1722
01:52:10.880 --> 01:52:11.400
Sorry.

1723
01:52:12.160 --> 01:52:13.040
I appreciate you.

1724
01:52:14.680 --> 01:52:15.480
All right.

1725
01:52:16.440 --> 01:52:18.560
I think, is that it everybody?

1726
01:52:20.440 --> 01:52:21.600
Oh, totally get you.

1727
01:52:21.600 --> 01:52:23.320
I'm so glad you, okay.

1728
01:52:23.560 --> 01:52:24.600
With the long distance.

1729
01:52:26.280 --> 01:52:26.720
Yes.

1730
01:52:26.720 --> 01:52:27.280
Okay.

1731
01:52:27.840 --> 01:52:30.640
I don't want to relocate, but maybe someone would be okay.

1732
01:52:30.960 --> 01:52:35.040
So yeah, those are things I think I even shared on a post earlier today, or maybe

1733
01:52:35.360 --> 01:52:39.280
there, I think it was you, like you said that you can't relocate, but you're open

1734
01:52:39.280 --> 01:52:42.640
to long distance with the understanding that, you know, they're going to have to

1735
01:52:42.640 --> 01:52:44.400
be open and merging your life together.

1736
01:52:44.400 --> 01:52:45.520
That's totally okay.

1737
01:52:45.520 --> 01:52:49.160
Like, you know, Sarah said that she, she lives in a small town, so there's

1738
01:52:49.400 --> 01:52:51.160
not very much of a dating pool.

1739
01:52:51.160 --> 01:52:55.320
So she's going to probably have to whine in her circle and being open to that.

1740
01:52:55.320 --> 01:52:59.040
But understanding like, I'm guessing, cause you, you said you're a single mom

1741
01:52:59.040 --> 01:53:02.280
to three, and my guess is you can't relocate because of a parental

1742
01:53:02.280 --> 01:53:04.120
agreement would be my guess.

1743
01:53:04.400 --> 01:53:04.840
Yeah.

1744
01:53:04.840 --> 01:53:08.080
So, but again, it doesn't mean that someone can't relocate.

1745
01:53:08.080 --> 01:53:10.360
And those are things that again, would be it.

1746
01:53:10.360 --> 01:53:14.360
That's a non-negotiable when you're getting to know them and you're

1747
01:53:14.360 --> 01:53:16.120
sharing a little bit of your life.

1748
01:53:16.160 --> 01:53:18.680
Obviously they're going to, you know, you're going to tell people if you have

1749
01:53:18.680 --> 01:53:22.040
kids, you're going to tell them, I am not, I'm not one of those people that

1750
01:53:22.040 --> 01:53:24.640
will keep, keep that from people.

1751
01:53:24.680 --> 01:53:30.680
I also, my opinion is you need to put that you have kids on your dating profile.

1752
01:53:31.240 --> 01:53:36.520
Keeping that, I just, I know some people are like, we'll hear from therapists

1753
01:53:36.520 --> 01:53:41.520
and other, you know, people like, oh, you shouldn't because pedophiles look for

1754
01:53:41.520 --> 01:53:47.000
that y'all I'm all, I'm a believer about being God defended and protected and

1755
01:53:47.000 --> 01:53:51.160
using wisdom and discernment and being safe when it comes to my kid.

1756
01:53:51.800 --> 01:53:55.400
And so I shared that I have a kid, but I also didn't give them

1757
01:53:55.400 --> 01:53:57.280
all this information either.

1758
01:53:57.640 --> 01:53:59.800
I didn't share pictures of my son.

1759
01:53:59.800 --> 01:54:01.800
I, you know, I said he was like elementary age.

1760
01:54:01.800 --> 01:54:03.880
I didn't share what grade he was in.

1761
01:54:04.360 --> 01:54:11.880
So, you know, obviously she's going to express like I have kids, you know, they,

1762
01:54:12.600 --> 01:54:14.840
they go see their father, all that kind of stuff.

1763
01:54:14.840 --> 01:54:17.440
So I can't relocate, but I'm open to long distance.

1764
01:54:18.320 --> 01:54:20.880
And then as you're getting to know them and you're, you're

1765
01:54:20.880 --> 01:54:21.960
growing and getting to know them.

1766
01:54:21.960 --> 01:54:25.720
And if you see potential there, before you step into level three, you're

1767
01:54:25.720 --> 01:54:30.320
going to have that conversation of what an, a relationship will

1768
01:54:30.320 --> 01:54:32.160
look like if it goes level three.

1769
01:54:32.160 --> 01:54:36.320
And at that point, if they're like, well, I'm not, I'm not relocating,

1770
01:54:36.320 --> 01:54:38.840
then yeah, it may hurt.

1771
01:54:38.840 --> 01:54:40.000
It might sting a little bit.

1772
01:54:40.000 --> 01:54:43.800
Cause you really enjoy getting to know them, but if they can't

1773
01:54:43.840 --> 01:54:47.440
relocate, then it's going to be okay.

1774
01:54:47.440 --> 01:54:49.560
Then that just isn't the person that God has for you.

1775
01:54:49.560 --> 01:54:55.880
Cause ladies, God is not going to bring your person and then put this roadblock

1776
01:54:55.880 --> 01:54:59.960
in the way of saying here, here's what I have for you, but nope, you.

1777
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:01.880
You can't have them because of this.

1778
01:55:01.880 --> 01:55:03.360
God is not gonna do that.

1779
01:55:04.820 --> 01:55:06.040
God will make a way.

1780
01:55:06.040 --> 01:55:09.440
Ladies, if God can send my biological,

1781
01:55:09.440 --> 01:55:12.360
my son's biological father out of the state

1782
01:55:14.280 --> 01:55:15.880
and open the door for me,

1783
01:55:15.880 --> 01:55:19.600
if God can do it for me, he's gonna do it for you all.

1784
01:55:19.600 --> 01:55:23.440
Whatever your circumstance looks like, okay?

1785
01:55:23.440 --> 01:55:27.720
So if you don't, if you can't relocate

1786
01:55:27.720 --> 01:55:29.320
and you're open to long distance,

1787
01:55:29.320 --> 01:55:32.880
then he knows your situation.

1788
01:55:32.880 --> 01:55:34.960
He knows a reason why you can't relocate

1789
01:55:34.960 --> 01:55:37.200
if that's really the case.

1790
01:55:37.200 --> 01:55:39.400
And he's not gonna bring you in a relationship

1791
01:55:39.400 --> 01:55:44.000
with someone who can't then meet that need, okay?

1792
01:55:44.000 --> 01:55:45.320
God knows you.

1793
01:55:45.320 --> 01:55:47.040
God knows your person.

1794
01:55:47.040 --> 01:55:51.120
He's not gonna be like, oh, here, you can have him,

1795
01:55:51.120 --> 01:55:54.640
but he's at arm's length and you really can't have him, okay?

1796
01:55:54.640 --> 01:55:57.320
So like I said, if he can do it for me,

1797
01:55:57.320 --> 01:55:58.720
y'all, he can do it for you.

1798
01:56:00.320 --> 01:56:03.640
So I love that, Mariska, that you are open

1799
01:56:03.640 --> 01:56:07.400
to having someone relocate.

1800
01:56:07.400 --> 01:56:08.960
That's good.

1801
01:56:09.960 --> 01:56:13.520
And again, just be open.

1802
01:56:13.520 --> 01:56:14.680
Release the pen.

1803
01:56:16.720 --> 01:56:17.760
All right.

1804
01:56:18.760 --> 01:56:21.960
All right, ladies, we've taken lots of time today.

1805
01:56:21.960 --> 01:56:25.360
Thank you so much for sticking it out with me.

1806
01:56:25.360 --> 01:56:27.840
As always, I just hope that these stories

1807
01:56:27.840 --> 01:56:32.360
and my walk has been inspiring to you.

1808
01:56:32.360 --> 01:56:34.120
Like I said, I love doing this

1809
01:56:34.120 --> 01:56:37.800
because there was so much poured into me

1810
01:56:37.800 --> 01:56:41.960
when I was in the season that you were in in this community.

1811
01:56:41.960 --> 01:56:44.840
And it just fills me with joy to be able

1812
01:56:44.840 --> 01:56:47.400
to give that back to you and give you some inspiration

1813
01:56:47.400 --> 01:56:50.120
and some encouragement and some hope,

1814
01:56:50.120 --> 01:56:55.120
because I had many times where I was frustrated and annoyed

1815
01:56:56.080 --> 01:56:59.840
and was like, ah, at this whole situation.

1816
01:56:59.840 --> 01:57:01.960
Like I said, I was in it for about two years

1817
01:57:01.960 --> 01:57:06.720
until my husband came along and I was done.

1818
01:57:06.720 --> 01:57:11.720
And Jackie's shared a little bit of my story in the past

1819
01:57:12.360 --> 01:57:16.080
and she'll tell you, I was over it,

1820
01:57:16.080 --> 01:57:19.640
but I borrowed her faith.

1821
01:57:19.640 --> 01:57:22.600
She had faith in my love story.

1822
01:57:22.640 --> 01:57:24.840
We all here at Last Year Single

1823
01:57:24.840 --> 01:57:26.520
have faith in your love story

1824
01:57:27.440 --> 01:57:30.400
and we are right here with you.

1825
01:57:30.400 --> 01:57:34.360
So don't be afraid to come into the community

1826
01:57:34.360 --> 01:57:37.120
and share with us what's going on in your life.

1827
01:57:37.120 --> 01:57:39.200
We all have different journeys

1828
01:57:39.200 --> 01:57:42.320
and different paces that we're gonna go.

1829
01:57:42.320 --> 01:57:47.040
So get to know each other, come into the community,

1830
01:57:47.040 --> 01:57:50.840
share what's going on in your life, all right?

1831
01:57:50.840 --> 01:57:55.240
Connect with one another, all right?

1832
01:57:55.240 --> 01:57:56.840
You are so welcome, ladies.

1833
01:57:56.840 --> 01:57:59.440
Have a wonderful, wonderful day.

1834
01:57:59.440 --> 01:58:03.480
If you are in the United States, don't forget to vote.

1835
01:58:03.480 --> 01:58:05.440
And I know some of our ladies are not,

1836
01:58:06.520 --> 01:58:09.440
are in Canada and Ziggy, I don't know where,

1837
01:58:09.440 --> 01:58:11.960
you're not, where are you at?

1838
01:58:11.960 --> 01:58:13.640
I'm in Germany, Munich, Germany.

1839
01:58:13.640 --> 01:58:14.800
That's right.

1840
01:58:14.800 --> 01:58:16.000
I knew you were in Europe somewhere.

1841
01:58:16.000 --> 01:58:17.160
I couldn't remember what,

1842
01:58:17.160 --> 01:58:19.920
but if you are in the United States, ladies,

1843
01:58:19.920 --> 01:58:22.800
make sure you get out and vote, okay?

1844
01:58:22.800 --> 01:58:27.320
And pray, pray, pray, pray, all right?

1845
01:58:27.320 --> 01:58:29.880
All right, ladies, thank you so much for your time today.

1846
01:58:29.880 --> 01:58:32.960
I love you all and I will see you all next week.

1847
01:58:34.080 --> 01:58:35.120
Bye.

1848
01:58:35.120 --> 01:58:36.120
Bye.