Awesome. Okay. Yes, Sarah. I'm so glad you were able to come today. I just got done responding
to one of your posts in the app. So it's good to see you. Ladies, welcome, welcome, welcome.
This is your phase two live check-in call. It is November 5th of 2024. For those of you
that don't know me, my name is Carla Johnson. I am one of your coaches here in phase two.
I have the honor and privilege to kind of pour back into you what was poured into me
several years ago when I joined Jackie at the end of 2020. And I am happy to say, yes,
I am a success story. It took me a few years, but my husband finally came. But there's a
lot of really great things that I learned being mentored by Jackie and just all the
women in this community and the way that they poured in. And so I really do love and just
adore you all. And it's really Tuesday. It's like my favorite day of the week because I
get to come in and I get to, you know, pour into you ladies and just, you know, share
my experience, you know, share some of my horror stories with you. But with the understanding
that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and then I've got some good stories too. Okay.
So it's not all bad stories. All right. But we do try to make it fun here for you. So
that's just a little bit about me for those of you that don't know me. But since maybe
some of you don't know me that maybe because this is your first week in phase two. So if
that's you, go ahead and raise your avatar hand and let me know if this is your first
week in phase two, or maybe this is your first live check in. So maybe you've been in phase
two for a couple weeks, but you haven't been able to make it to a live second. Okay, I
think I saw one hand up, two hands. Awesome. Welcome so much. I'm so thankful that you
all can come and make it. I know this one o'clock hour is not always the easiest, but
I know some people get off work or have a lunch break, or maybe they work in the evenings.
And so this is really ideal for you to be able to come at this time. It works out great
for me because my kids are out of my house. So that's why I love being able to come here
at one o'clock with y'all. Otherwise, my kids are running around my house. I'm usually at
baseball practice or something crazy in the evenings and such. But welcome. I'm so glad
that you're with us. So we're just going to go over a quick few housekeeping items,
and then we will dive in to our lesson, if you will. Today, we're going to cover our
dating 101 video, some tips and pointers and how you can apply it in your life if you're
dating and even how you can apply some of the things that you're learning out of that
video, even if you're not in the dating pool yet. So maybe you're like, kind of only wanting
to put a little toe in. That was me. I took probably about a year being in this community
before I forced myself out on a date. So for those of you ladies that are super like, I
don't know. I don't know if I want to get in the dating world. It's been so long. I'm
right there with you. I totally get it. I totally feel you. I wouldn't advise waiting
a full year to jump back in. But no, like I, I remember what it was like, I've experienced
it. So just know that I'm here to support you along with Ebony and Bethany and all the
other coaches that last year single. So yes, if you are new here, you are going to kind
of what to expect now. Okay, so you come out of phase one, and now you're like, okay, phase
two, what do I do? So we do have video training content for you. There are going to be five
videos, we really do encourage you to only watch one video a week. There's a lot of really
great information. And it really allows you a week to kind of just absorb, like digest
and like, figure out the content in that in each of those videos. And I will just encourage
you ladies to really lean into Holy Spirit. When you're watching that, and take time to
process and sit with it, meditate, pray on it, ask the Lord to like, highlight things
to you that he wants you to glean from those videos, and then come share it with us in
the community. Okay, that's how we learn we learn from each other, honestly. Even when
you're in the app, like you can be looking at what other ladies post and then even seeing
how us coaches reply.
apply to the ladies as well.
So we have the five videos, watch one a week, okay?
Then when you do that,
make sure that you are finding something
that you can take away
and then sharing it with us in the community, okay?
So some of that stuff can be like,
like questions that you have on the content,
or maybe something that you didn't learn before.
Maybe it's not even something related to the video,
but you're like, I have this question,
or I have some heartwork stuff that I'm working on
and you wanna share that.
Maybe it's a win,
it's like something that you wanna celebrate.
Maybe it's a moment that you have with Holy Spirit.
Make sure that you're coming into the community app
and sharing with us, okay?
I cannot stress enough,
that was one of the things
that when I was in this community,
I made such a diligent effort
to make sure that I was showing up in the group.
And I was allowing myself to be vulnerable,
and I was sharing whatever I could.
So this is a safe community, it's a safe space.
I know sometimes it's hard to want to kind of
like share a little bit of piece of you,
but we really are in this together
and us coaches really do have your best interest at heart.
And this is how we learn and grow.
So watch those videos, bring your takeaways with us,
respond in the app,
let us know what's going on in your life, okay?
And then things that you can also keep in mind
for phase two is attending these live sessions.
Super duper important.
If at the very least that you can't make it
to a live session, then check it out in the replay.
So the replays are also in the app as well.
Keep attending those prayer calls,
especially the Supernatural Saturday
and the Sunday activation.
You will get so much great information from it
and you will just literally leave those calls
being so filled up.
So I encourage you to get to those.
And then ideally, if you ladies are watching
one video a week, since there's five videos,
you probably are only at the very minimum,
you are gonna be in phase two for about five weeks, okay?
Now, I don't think everybody always just like
jumps in five weeks and they're out.
You know, we understand life happens,
it can get a little busy.
And so it's okay if you stick around
a couple weeks after five weeks, okay?
We're not gonna leave you hanging.
But we do want to encourage you,
get what you can from phase two,
watch those videos, come to the live calls,
open up, share with us what's happening,
and then be ready to go into phase three
after you've done all those things.
And when you have, then that's when you'll email
admin at JackieDorman.com requesting
the access to phase three,
which is a whole nother like community.
There's gonna be more women in that community.
There's more events that you'll attend.
It won't be always Tuesday.
There are sometimes Tuesday nights
that we have things going on for phase three, okay?
So that's kind of just the what to expect from phase two.
And if you ladies have any questions,
you can ask me a little bit later.
Now, and I think I talked about showing up in the community
and making posts in the group,
like that's super duper important.
And one reason I stress that is because when you do that,
you can start forming and building friendships
in this community, and they are so important, okay?
When I first joined this community,
I mean, it was kind of when the world was shut down
and everything, but even as the world started opening up,
I really did find just a comfort in this community,
coming to the live calls, chit-chatting with one another,
you know, reading about what people were experiencing
going through, pouring into the women
that were also sharing.
That's another thing, ladies.
The only post that we ask you not to reply to
when you're talking about your sisters
is the ones that are in the Ask a Coach.
Those are specifically for us coaches
to reply to those ladies that are posting
and wanting feedback from a coach,
but in the wins, the relationship milestones,
even in the all category,
as long as it's not an Ask a Coach question,
reply to your sisters.
Like, encourage one another, lift each other up,
get to know one another.
I know there is a pinned post on the main page
where I think it's under the Spirit Mate match.
We've asked, like, where's everybody located?
So go in there, see if there's any women in this community
that live near you and plan meetups, hang out.
with each other. Okay, we also have the single cities that are in the resource tab. So if you
live near a single city, join the single city. I cannot stress so many of the relationships that
I still have today are from this community. And in fact, one of the women in this community,
she was the one looking out for, she was in her own like singles Facebook group community like,
and I wasn't even in it. And she just happened to come across my husband's profile.
And she was already like kind of dating someone who's now her husband. But she was looking up,
she's like, this guy sounds really good for Carla. And she like reached out to him,
and then told me about it. And she's like, I hope you don't mind. I gave him your information.
And so he ended up reaching out to me. And that's how I met my husband was from one of the sisters
here in this community. Alright, so I can't tell you how many women I met. Just, you know,
I was living in Florida at the time. So many women would come down for vacation, they knew I lived
there. They'd be like, Hey, Carla, they'd message me, hey, I'm in the area, you want to meet up for
lunch. And I would I would meet up with people. Everyone got to know my youngest son, my birth
baby. Like they just like everybody knew who he was. I mean, they still even ask about him.
So it's because I built community in this. I built relationships with people in this community. And
it's so so important to make sure that you're doing that here in phase two. And then we also
ask that you come out of hiding. So like some of you ladies, you all have your cameras on,
which means you're out of hiding, I can see you. I know some of you can't put your cameras on at
this time of day at work. But if you can't put your camera on come out of hiding, let us see
your face. It's just the sisters here. It's totally fine. Okay, I have I had a vote this morning. And
so I had to run my kids to school. Usually my husband takes the kids to school, but then he had
a vote. So I had to roll out of bed this morning and go take my kids to school and vote and get
ready for the call today. But um, so no shame and showing up with with the camera on. Okay.
Um, so yeah, come out of hiding. And the last thing I want to touch on about phase two is,
I know some of you women watch that love story kickoff accelerator and you get freaked out by
the seven day challenge. Raise your hand if you heard that seven day challenge. You're like,
what? What am I gonna have to do? And you kind of freaked out a little bit.
Nobody. Nobody's gonna admit. Okay, thank you, Nicole. Because I know there's some of you that
get like that, because I was like that. Okay. And I know I was not not a loner here in this.
All right. It doesn't have to be scary. Okay. It doesn't have to be super rushed. I know some
people are like, all right, I'm gonna get my seven dates in in a month. Girls, that was just
not doable for me. I was a single mom. Like that was just not happening. Like, I was lucky to get
like one date a month. Okay. So it doesn't have to be rushed. Honestly, if you're here for like
five, six weeks in phase two, chances are you're probably not going to finish your seven day
challenge while you're in phase two. That will probably happen when you're in phase three.
Okay, so don't let it be scary. It doesn't have to be rushed. Okay. And then I'm just gonna just
give you guys a couple of reminders about our app. Make sure that you're doing a little tour
of last year's single app. Okay. Click around all the tabs, figure out where things are at.
That is like where you're going to get all your information. I'll also encourage you ladies,
check out the post from your sisters. You know, if it's not an ask a coach question, reply,
respond to your respond to some of them share encouraging words, whatever. Okay.
And then also read what us coaches share to your sisters, because believe it or not,
you may not be experiencing that situation at the moment. But you might at one point down the road,
I do not know why my sorry, ladies, I'm having a little bit. There we go.
My mouse stopped working. And I was like, what is happening?
Where was I at? So yeah, respond to some of your friends here in the community. And then just read
through what us coaches are sharing with your sisters. Okay. Read about what they're experiencing
and how we coach them. Okay. When you are putting a post up in the app, make sure that you are
clicking the right tab that you want it to go under, especially the ask a coach tab,
because those are the ones where us coaches
specifically are responding to you and then you'll notice that a lot of us coaches will ask you for
more feedback or ask you questions or ask you to come back and share your thoughts with what
we coached or give you kind of like hey let us know more about this when that happens reply under
our comment to you instead of your your original post because when you do that when you reply to us
then we'll get the notification if you reply to your own post and you don't reply under ours
we don't always see that notification you'll get a notification that you've responded to your post
but as coaches are not going to get a notification okay but again like make sure that you're looking
at the training the curriculum the teaching the replay tabs and all those things the resource tab
as well um and then one thing i will share is please do not send emails on anything regarding
anything in the resource page so no emails about spirit mate match i know a lot of people are like
okay are there any matches for me yet and so you're sending emails and we just do not have
like we have a very small team believe it or not at last year's single and so it gets really
challenging to reply to all those just know that Jackie and her team of matchmakers will reach out
to you when you need to be reached out to when it's regarding the spirit mate match and same
thing with um the affiliate program all of that information is there for you and so just make sure
that you are doing that all right okay i think i'm done with the housekeeping items i'm getting
better and better about getting through those very quickly um and yes sarah thank you for
sharing that it does make a difference when you short up and so she's she's expressing that she
was a bit of a silent participant for a while but once she started engaging it's really been
a game changer for you sarah can you share with us how long have you been in phase two like how
long would you say that you're kind of like in hiding in phase two yeah so i did the heart work
back in um i want to say it was december to january of last year um and then i moved into
phase two probably toward the end of january so um so i i sort of i was in engaging for a bit and
then you know life got in the way i have three kids and i'm like i just don't know you know
i had trouble making it to the the live sessions um and i just over the last month or so i'm like
you know i really need to make more of an effort um and it really has made a difference because i
was feeling like just super lonely and just like i'm in this alone and i mean i have friends around
me i have a wonderful community i have a wonderful family and i don't have many people who can really
relate to what i'm going through you know who's really in it with me um and so it's made a huge
difference just sharing my heart and um and you know what god has kind of done in my life um
and just showing up yeah it's it's been huge so yes thank you oh thank you so much for sharing
that sarah so yeah ladies don't don't get shy about it we're all we're all in this together
all right believe it or not we we're all here we all are well we all are single some of us
coaches are married but we have been in the program and we do remember what it was like
okay bethany and i we were like this in our community she was actually a bridesmaid in my
wedding and you know we met through this community and she's been such a great friend
and so you know and and that's just carried over even now into our marriages that we get to kind
of do life together um you know as as going through this program and things like that so
you know it really does make an impact knowing that you have women that are learning the
information that you're learning because believe it or not you know i think you all could probably
say you know we've we most of us are like you know been dating for a while and the world does it so
differently and so the things that you're learning here in community are a little bit different and i
remember sharing even with some of my single friends that weren't from this community like
they had no like they couldn't understand like why we were doing it so different and so sometimes
that was hard because i'm like well i want to do things this way and they're like well why would
you do that and so it really did help knowing that i had a community to go to that when i ran into
speed bumps and roadblocks and things like that or i was dealing with you know dates and guys that
were just you know wish
Squashy or whatever I had a community to go to that was gonna be positive about it and wasn't gonna like
Be negative Nancy's about it and not being optimistic
It really does help when you have a community of women that are experiencing what you're experiencing and are able to you know
Read positivity into it
Okay
Because that's the last thing you don't want to go out in the world and it just be negative negative negative
When it comes to dating, I mean cuz quite frankly, I mean dating is not always
straight raise your hand if you're like
Yeah, dating has its challenges
Right. Yeah, Sarah you feel me? You've totally filled me. All right, I see some heads nodding. Yeah, like
It's you know, we live in a world where not everybody has a Jackie Dorman
You know and so and that's why we do, you know
Encourage you ladies that when you meet really great guys that may not be for you. Y'all share them in this community
Send them to Jackie tell them about the program
You know just say hey, you know you and I didn't work out but you know
I have this community of some pretty awesome amazing
single god-loving women and
I'd like to get you connected because you know, maybe maybe your wife is in there
Maybe someone that you'll really connect to is in there
And so make sure that you know, you're you're sharing that and that's why we have the affiliate program as well. Um
Okay, ladies, I'm gonna go ahead and pray for us and then I'm gonna jump into our teaching this week
We're gonna just give you some tips and things from the dating 101
I'm gonna kind of dig into that a little bit and share a little bit of my experience what worked for me
In
Dating as well as you know, what how you can apply some of those things even if you're not quite dating yet
Okay, so Heavenly Father. I just thank you
Thank you for today. I thank you for every single one of these women that are with us here in phase two
I thank you for them that are here live as well as the women that are gonna watch this and replay
Lord, I just know you have great plans for each and every one of us and that we're not here by chance
But we are literally here because of your divine appointment Lord, I just you know ask that you continue to
teach us show us and heal us and grow us and the who you've asked us to be and
that as we you know learn from
Jackie and
You that you just highlight certain areas that we can continue to grow closer and deeper intimacy with you father as
you are working in us and through us and
Preparing us for the spirit mates that you have already set aside for us Lord
And I just I pray that these women just get you know, encouraged and hope filled
For the love story that you have already written for them
Lord, you are the perfecter of love stories and
What is so amazing getting to watch, you know, everyone that comes in this community find their spirit mates
that you have some of the most incredible love stories that
no one would have ever imagined and
I just thank you for that
I thank you for each and every one of these women and the stories that they're gonna get to share of
How they met their spirit mate and how you brought them to that and you drew closer to them
So Lord, I thank you and we just give this time to you
And I ask that you just fill us with your Holy Spirit and speak through us and just give us words of encouragement
And hope for today in Jesus name. Amen
All right
so ladies, um
Raise your hand if you have already watched the dating 101 video kind of want to get an idea of how many
Have watched it. Okay, Teresa Sarah Ziggy
Okay, good. Good good
Handful of you have watched it
I know some people and Emily. I know you've probably watched it. So maybe you're not near your computer to
raise your hands
Okay, so there's just a couple of you that have not watched it yet so no worries
I'm just gonna kind of break some things down for you
And we're just gonna share a little bit about what you will eventually
Hear in the dating 101 and I'm just gonna kind of show you how to apply some of this stuff that you will hear in
that dating 101 video
So I'm gonna go over the first three levels of relationship. Okay, so we have level one which is
Community. Okay. So this here. Okay when we come here, this is a level one community. All right
your church your work
place. You know people that you kind of are just out and about in community. If you are online
dating all the men that you're swiping on and maybe having like back and forth conversations
with that's level one. Okay so there's it's kind of like no pressure here. Okay it's just
people out in community. We're not going to call it a level two discovery date until you've had at
least the first video date or in-person date. Okay so but before we go on to level two I just
want to kind of share with you like how you can show up in level one now that you're in phase two.
So this is some of this is just communicating to people in your community that you are single
pringle and you're ready to mingle. Okay so as you get to know people you can just say hey you know
like you know get in a conversation and say you know yeah I'm part of this amazing community of
Christian singles and I'm learning a lot of really great things and it's just really opened me up to
how God really does want his sons and daughters married and I'm opening my life up and I'm
believing that God's got somebody for me. So if you know anybody send them my way. It's just being
able to communicate with people that hey you want to meet people in community. So that's I mean even
if you're not online dating that's how you show up. Okay it's learning to get to know people
in your community and letting them get an insight of who you are. Okay just like very surface level
right. Okay then we go into level two. So in the dating world this is like a zoom call like a zoom
chat or an in-person date like this might be meeting up for coffee or whatever. Okay believe it or not
you also have level two relationships with women. These are your friends. Okay so your best friend
probably wasn't somebody that you knew right away. Okay you had to get to know them. You had to be
like that that chick's cool like I want to get to know her. Like all right that's what I did here in
this community. Okay hung out with women. I would reach out and then be like hey like I really
resonated with something that you shared and then you kind of just get to know one another. All right
and then I built some really strong relationships with some of the women in this community and
they're like close friends of mine now. Okay so believe it or not you can still do this in just
level two is not just dating men but you can also be getting to know other women. So
this level two is that discovery we call it discovery dating or just this is the get to
know you stage. You have a little bit of idea of who they are maybe because of level one community
whether it's something that they wrote on their profile or you're hanging out at church and you're
in a small group and you know you've learned a little bit of something about them and you want
to get to know them a little more. That's what that level two is. Okay so it doesn't just have
to be dating men it's also you can be getting to know women in this stage if you're like not sure
you're ready to like dip your toe in the dating pool you can be getting to know women in the
in your communities as well. Okay so but if you are dating all right so now you are like let's
say you are dating men okay what this is going to look like. So this is this is that level where
you're not going to sit here and get in the weeds with people you're not going to overshare they're
still strangers you're getting to know them you're trying to see you know do you have some things in
common and believe it or not ladies it's okay to date guys that you might not have everything in
common. My husband and I are a bit like complementary opposite okay there's some things that we we like
we're very similar about like obviously some of the like core things like you know obviously our
our relationship with God is was really important so we both are aligned in that we're aligned in a
lot of our values and our beliefs of things about our kids and just you know the world and stuff
like that but there's some things that you know we are very different and so we're complementary
opposite so it's totally okay to get to know people that might not have some of the same
similar likes and interests. Now if it's part of your life like they're gonna have to merge into
that but this level of dating is literally just getting to know you so you're not gonna go into
a whole bunch of detail about your life on like a deep level but you are going to share your life
on a high level okay so it doesn't mean
in that you don't talk to people about your life.
You just are mindful of what you share.
You're not gonna go digging in the weeds.
And level two, you're not sharing about your ex files.
You're not sitting here sharing about all your trauma
from your past childhood.
You know, those are things that are left for people
that are gonna be more of your inner circle
as you're getting to know them
and you're discovering who this person is
and are they a safe person to share that information with?
Are we going in the same direction?
Okay, you're not gonna know all of that stuff early on.
Okay, you're not gonna know all of those things
in the first one, two or three dates.
Gonna have to take time, get to know them.
Okay, and I know for a lot of us,
it's like you wanna know after the first date
whether or not this man is gonna be your husband.
Raise your hand if you're guilty of that.
Teresa, she's like, no.
I know you, Teresa, I know you're not like that.
And you've been in this space for a little bit to know.
Yeah, no, we're not going into a date
like sitting here being like,
I'm like, this is what our life is gonna look like.
We're gonna go on all these vacations together.
Like, no, okay?
You don't know enough about a person to know
is this person gonna be the man you married, all right?
Believe it or not, the first time I met my husband,
I was like, after we were getting to know each other
because we were long distance.
And we talked for about three weeks
before he came to visit me and take me out on a date.
And ladies, I cannot tell you how many times
I tried to cut and run.
That I was like, I don't know about this guy.
I just don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know if I could,
I don't know if I can get behind this.
All right?
Like, I just, I really was like,
I need to know more information about this man
before I really truly decide on him, okay?
So yeah, we don't wanna go into your first,
you know, these discovery dates,
like trying to pick apart
whether or not this man's gonna be your husband.
All right?
You are literally just getting to know them.
Think of it as peeling an onion, okay?
You really do wanna resist romance in level two
because guess what, ladies?
We do encourage you to date more than one people
in level two.
And I know that is shocking
and a little bit scary for some of you.
It was for me.
I was like, no, I only wanna date one person at a time.
But there's a reason we do that
because if you were like me,
I would date one person.
Like one, I thought maybe like,
I was more into the physical attraction sort of stuff,
which again, we don't encourage like,
yes, you wanna think that they're, you know, attractive.
You wanna be able to look at them, right?
But we're not allowing that physical attraction
to draw us in.
So if you were like me, like I thought a guy was cute.
He made me laugh on a first date.
I was like all in.
Like I was putty in his hands.
I was ready to make this guy fit the mold
because I didn't want,
I didn't wanna have to keep looking.
I just wanted, I wanted a companionship,
but I was getting the companionship
from all the wrong people, okay?
So level two, it really is important
to like discover more about other people,
but also discover more about yourself.
And so super important to resist romance in level two
and just really get to know them as a person.
Like what do you enjoy about a person
and what are you learning about yourself
as you're out on these level two dates, okay?
So that's level two.
Then once you've been in that
for at least a month with a person,
like I would say you've gone on a handful of dates,
probably four, five, six dates or so,
if not more, is when,
and you just are like, you're getting to know them
and they are showing green flags.
They might have had some yellow flags,
but you're seeing that those yellow flags
are turning green.
You know, my husband had yellow flags,
believe it or not, but as I got to know him,
I got to see how those yellow flags were green flags
because we all have yellow flags.
I had several yellow flags.
But once you, when you take time to get to know someone in level two, you really do get
to see how they show up in life.
They're not just, because I mean, let's be honest, when you go on a date, you're presenting
your best self, right?
Those first couple of dates, you're going to present your best self, right?
You're not going to let people see all the crazy yet.
All right, because we all have yellow flags.
So that's why it's important to take time in that.
So as you've done that, and you start seeing how, you know, this man is marriage minded,
he's masculine, he's mature, you found yourself in interactions and seeing how they show up
in life, like how they're treating people, how they treat you.
And you're saying, you know what, I could see this maybe going in the direction of a
romantic relationship where I just want to spend time getting to know this person.
That's when that level three comes.
Now what we encourage you ladies to take note of is you still want to pace yourself, but
you also want to allow men to lead into level three.
So this is what we call the DTR, the define the relationship, right?
If you were like me, I always wanted to know, like when I was in my twenties, I always wanted
to know.
So what are we?
Right.
I always went to guys.
Okay.
So what are we?
Are we like boyfriend, girlfriend?
Or like, what are we doing here?
Right.
Ladies, let the men lean back.
Okay.
You're just getting to know them.
There's no, like you're not tied to them.
Okay.
You have no obligation.
Okay.
I know we were, I also want to talk a little bit later today about this leading men on
thing.
I know some of us sometimes think that we're leading men on if we go on a couple of dates
with them and we're still not sure about them.
Okay.
Like you are just letting it flow.
You're allowing the pacing to happen and you're letting the men lead into that conversation.
Let the men initiate wanting to be exclusive with you, believe it or not really good hearted,
intentional, mature men.
They're going to want to communicate to you that, look, I am interested in just getting
to know you and would it be okay if we are exclusive?
Men will lead that conversation.
My husband did.
He was like, ready to go.
He's like, look, I'm done looking.
And so he asked me if it was okay.
And at that point, like there was a lot of God confirmations on our relationship that
I did was like, okay, yeah, let's, let's go for it.
Let's, let's be exclusive.
Okay.
So that, that's a little bit of level, level three.
Okay.
A couple things.
Do I have any, um, I'm going to go ahead and open up for questions.
I don't typically do this, but I know there's a lot of things to unpack, especially when
we talk about dating one-on-one.
And I think once I open up some questions here, then I want to touch on some of the
other things that I wanted to share with y'all today always ends up working that way.
So, um, Elaine touching on masculine maturity versus still a boy.
Okay.
So masculine maturity.
You know what?
I'm going to see if I can pull up something, but I'm going to come back to your question.
There's someone that has their hand up, but it just says iPhone.
I don't know if it's because you have a question or if you were just raising your hand when
I asked you to raise your hand earlier, if you related to something, I'm going to give
a minute to that person.
You might not know it.
You're the one that says iPhone user.
So everybody check.
Oh, they took their hand down.
Okay.
I got you.
iPhone user.
I don't know who you are, but all right.
Is anybody else on the question?
Yes.
Teresa, go ahead.
I'm going to look up this, um, masculine maturity thing.
Cause there's, um, something that I do want to share with the three M's.
Okay.
But what is your question?
So last time you said that, um, there was probably something like zoom voice in, uh,
or Google voice, Google voice in Canada.
Did you find anything?
I have not found anything yet.
I'm going to, I'm going to reach out to some of my Canada sisters that were in this community
with me as well a while back cause I, there's gotta be something, right?
It can't just be, it can't just be to, oh my goodness, what is going on with my computer?
Ladies, I apologize, but yeah, I will.
And I'm going to ask even, um,
I'm trying to think, who do I?
There's a couple people that I can ask.
She's recently moved to the United States,
but I would imagine she would know a handful of people
from this community that could probably tell me.
OK, I'm going to find this.
Staying on mature and masculine, and what
that will look like in men that you're dating.
Give me just a moment.
Let's see here.
Let's see.
I may just have to wing it right now, which I know.
I mean, so obviously, marriage-minded,
you know that they're going to talk about their dating
for marriage.
They're not just trying to just to get to know someone.
They're going to want to get to know you on a deeper level.
Oh, here it is.
I had it pulled up the whole time.
How crazy is that?
I'm crazy.
All right, so yes, the three Ms. So is he masculine?
OK, this is all going to be like the divine masculine.
So we're kind of dipping a little bit
into the divine feminine video.
So divine masculinity, is he going
to protect and honor you?
That's what masculinity will look like.
He's protective.
He's going to honor you.
He's going to honor your boundaries.
Is he going to sacrifice his time and resources and energy
to provide for you and your needs?
OK, now I'm not talking about like in this hindsight of,
oh, does he have the ability to provide for me
if I marry him?
No, he's just going to be honoring you.
He's going to show that he wants
to spend some time with you.
He's going to make an effort to do that.
So for example, my husband was not living in Florida.
He was living in Texas.
It's where we live now.
I relocated.
He would come to Florida for work.
OK, so he worked remotely, but his company
that he worked for at the time was
located in Clearwater.
And the first time that we were going to meet
was over a weekend that I had my son.
So my son would go to his dad's every other weekend.
And so my husband was like, I'm going
to be in town from this time to this time.
Can I see you?
And so I remember I was talking to my dad
and I remember I was taking my son to a For King and Country
concert.
It was in December.
And so I had my son that weekend.
So we were going to drive two hours to Orlando
to go see For King and Country.
And so I explained to him.
I said, yeah, I will find someone.
But on this day, I'm taking my son to a concert.
So I'm not going to be available.
But I will look into getting a sitter
on one of the other days.
It may have to be a lunch date or whatever.
Well, he decided that he was going to split up his trip.
So he came the weekend prior to that.
And then he also, so he scheduled that.
And then he left to go home back to Texas.
And then he came back the following weekend.
So it was like the first week in December,
weekend in December.
And then the second week in December, I had my son.
So he was back in Texas.
And then he finished up his work trip
before that third weekend.
So he really was intentional about how he spent time.
He saw like, OK, I see that this woman has her son.
And it might be a bit of an inconvenience
because it's her weekend with her son.
And so he just went ahead and shifted things for himself
because he was willing to see it.
He wanted to get to know me more.
He wanted to be able to spend time with me.
And I kind of joke with him now because we
talked the night before our initial first date.
And he was like, so am I going to get
to see you more than once?
And I remember telling him like,
I, I don't know, like we haven't met yet.
And we laugh about it now because when he said that, I'm like, I'm not going to promise
that I'm going to see you more than once.
I might not like you.
And he was like, Oh, and he, you know, in the back of his mind, he joked that he's like,
wow, she's right.
Maybe she's crazy.
So he's like, I might not want to like, hang out with her more than once.
So he saw how maybe he shouldn't have even like ask that question until he actually met
me in person.
So that is how like they're going to, they're going to sacrifice time.
They're going to show that they're willing to do that.
Another thing, like my husband was very honoring of my boundaries.
Our first date, he asked to kiss me at the end of our date and I said, no, I think I
shocked him.
I think he was like, Oh, okay.
But I expressed to him, I'm like, look, I, I'm not interested in having physical intimate
like connection with somebody that I'm just getting to know.
I need exclusivity before I jump into that.
And so I need the time to, you know, get to know you before I make a choice like that.
And he was so respectful of my boundary, even after we decided to be exclusive, he didn't
assume that I was ready to kiss him.
He let me share with him when I was comfortable for that.
So that's what a masculine man is going to do.
Okay.
I hope that gives you kind of an idea of what that looks like.
Some other things like, is he mature?
So when you're asking, is he mature?
Does he take care of his business and responsibilities?
Like, again, ladies, you're not going to see that on the first couple of dates.
You're going to have to get to know them to see, like, does he have his stuff in order?
Is he responsible?
Can he regulate his emotion?
All right.
Is he going to be reactive when a situation doesn't happen the way that he wants it to?
And again, ladies, you're probably not going to see that in the first couple of dates.
Because again, we're always on those first couple of dates.
We're always kind of wanting to present our best self.
So you're not going to want to jump into a level three relationship, exclusive relationship
with someone until you've really gotten to know them and see how they respond in those
situations.
And even then, when you're in level three, you might then start seeing yellow flags turn
red.
Okay.
So again, that's why we talk about pacing level three.
You're still getting to know someone at level three.
Okay.
Now, marriage minded.
Okay.
Well, actually, before I move on to that, the mature, does he surround himself with
other men that can hold him accountable in areas of weakness, and he's willing to ask
people for help.
That's what a mature man is going to do.
I dated a guy who's like a year before I met my husband, super great guy, very, very like
protective of me, was really intentional to date me, was really a nice guy.
But I saw that he really didn't have a community of men to hold him accountable.
And that like, it didn't sit well with me.
Like I knew I didn't want to be with someone that wasn't going to lead well.
That was something that God showed me that was, you know, it was a desire of my heart.
And so I started to see that he didn't have anyone holding him accountable for things
that he needed to work on himself.
I was in this community.
I was being mentored by Jackie.
And that was important, like for me to like get, you know, teachings from other godly
women and being connected in a community of other women that were going to hold me accountable.
I wanted my husband to have the same like idea that he was willing to be teachable.
So that was important to me.
So, you know, a mature man is going to hold himself accountable and he's going to have
other men around him being able to point that out or wisdom or counsel where he's doing
that.
And then is he working on himself to overcome past trauma?
So that's going to show you that someone's mature because we all have drama and trauma
in our past.
Okay.
We all have issues of counterfeits and things like that.
And so it's important.
And again, you're not going to learn this information on the first couple of dates because
we're not going to want you encouraged to start getting and diving into someone's like
trauma.
Okay.
Now, as you get to know them, you might start seeing responses to that.
So watching how they respond
when they're put in those situations is important, okay?
So that's what that maturity is gonna look like as well.
And then the masculine and then marriage-minded,
do they have a life plan?
Are they financially responsible?
Do they initiate future focus conversation with you?
Do they care about your goals and dreams?
All right, that's one thing like my husband
has always been very supportive of things
that I wanna do in my life as I grow.
I mean, yes, we have children.
You know, mom is like a big role that I play,
but at some point your children leave, right?
I have other ideas and goals and dreams of my own.
And so my husband will support me in that.
You know, he wants to know,
he wanted to know when we were dating,
like what were things I was passionate about?
And I was able to share that with him and whatnot.
So he cared about that stuff.
Like he really truly wanted to get to know me.
And then are they intentional about spending time with you
and getting to know your family and friends?
And again, ladies, a lot of this stuff
you're not gonna see in the early stages of level two.
You're gonna see maybe in the later stages of level two,
and you might not start seeing some of this
until level three where you're in exclusive relationship
and you really do get to see how they show up, okay?
So I hope that helps answer your question, Elaine,
about what that looks like versus still being a boy, okay?
Good.
All right, a couple more things, and then we will,
let's see here.
One other thing I did wanna share with you ladies about,
actually before I do that,
do we have any other questions?
Because I really do.
I really think we're gonna lead into some of this stuff
with some of your questions.
I know Elaine is not gonna be the only one have questions.
No one wants to volunteer as tribute.
Okay, Ziggy, what about age difference?
Okay, so Jackie does do some good teaching on this
over the years.
We don't focus on the age
as much as the season of life that you're in.
So for example, I always go to this
because this is how it was applicable to me
when I was dating.
I obviously had a young child.
So I was not gonna date someone that was older
and had grown kids and was ready to kind of be that,
empty nest or kids out of the home
because I was coming with a young child.
So that was just not an interest for me.
Now, if there was an older guy that wanted young kids
and wanted to have children, I was open to that.
So it's more about the season of life that you're in.
So, and another example is,
if you are retired and you're ready to travel,
see the world, like you're not working full time anymore,
you may not wanna partner with someone
that is having to still work 40 to 50 hours a week.
Your lives are not gonna like, you know, merge together
because you're gonna wanna travel,
you're gonna wanna do things
because you're no longer having to work.
Or let's look at like, maybe you are working
and then you're meeting someone who is retired,
that may not work.
So again, you have to look at the season of life you're in
and do they match up?
Do they overlap well?
Okay.
For me, my whole thing, I was,
I really wanted kind of for myself,
wanted to stay in the range.
Cause again, I was in my late thirties.
So I really was like,
I don't really wanna go above like five years.
And I also didn't wanna hit below five years.
So, but now obviously I dated some guys that were seven,
six or 70 years older than me.
I dated some guys that were six, 70 years younger than me.
It was just about the season of life.
I tend to find that the older men that I was dating,
they just, they didn't have kids anymore
or they didn't have kids and they were much older
and they really weren't sure that they wanted kids
or they had grown kids
because they had kids when they were in their twenties.
Where I had my son.
I was in my thirties.
So by the time they were 40, their kids were grown.
I was like, okay, that doesn't really measure up.
And then some of the younger guys I dated,
they just weren't ready to be dads.
And for me, that was important.
Like I had a young son who really didn't have a father
that was consistently showing up.
Yes, he went to his dad one night every two weeks,
but his dad was not showing up at baseball games.
His dad was not really important.
And so it was important for me to marry a man
that was ready to be a father,
that was ready to show up as a father would,
biological or not.
And so when I dated some younger guys,
like there was one guy from our community,
back in the day, it wasn't called Last Year's Single,
it was called Married in 12 Months or Less.
We called it M12M.
And there was one of the guys in that community
who surprisingly enough, lived pretty close to me,
which was crazy to me
because I lived in Sarasota, Florida,
which there's not a lot of like 30, 40
single somethings there, okay?
Like, it's just really not.
And so he was in this community,
but he was several years younger than me.
Super wonderful guy, very like charismatic,
was just like, he was like the fun uncle.
Like he was just like, just full of excitement, energy.
Like he had an outgoing personality,
which was very similar to mine.
And I really liked him.
But when I looked, I mean,
when we really got to know each other and I had to assess,
I was like, this guy is just not ready to be a dad.
And it didn't make him a bad person,
it just, he wasn't my person.
And that was okay.
And so I just saw he was more of,
he was used to playing fun uncle role and not dad role.
So it's about the season of life that you're in
and looking at it that way.
So hopefully that helps.
Sigi, does that help answer your question?
Are you finding yourself in a situation
with maybe you're dating someone
that's more than 10 years older than you?
Well, actually, I have a couple people that have told me,
hey, what about this guy trying to set me up?
And they were much older
and I did not really feel that comfortable with that.
But on Facebook dating and even on Salt,
there were some much younger men contacting me.
And I'm in contact with them.
I'm also in contact with one eight years older than me,
which is fine right now.
But with the younger guys, I mean, for right now,
maybe the phases would be similar,
but what about 10 or in 10 or 15 years,
if I retire and they're in the,
I mean, does Jackie coach about
what phase are you in right now
or what is the future bringing as well?
Well, yeah, that's a good question.
As you're like, I would say like in the season
that you're in now and as you're getting to know them,
in marriage, you're gonna go after the same things.
Like you're gonna share dreams and stuff like that.
So I'm just trying to think.
So for example, like my husband and I,
I was working at the time.
I was a school teacher when my son was little,
like super little, like two years old.
I ended up leaving teaching because I was also had,
sorry, ladies, I've got cats all over the house.
So you might be hearing those crazy cats.
So I was a teacher at one time
and then I became, obviously I was a single mom
when my son was born.
And so I tried to go back to teaching
and it was, I did that
and I was working side jobs, waiting tables.
I ended up leaving my teaching job
just to work as a waitress.
And so I did that for a number of years and I loved it.
I, you know, it was great.
And so when I met my husband,
he was in a position to be like,
hey, he was homeschooling his two older kids.
I always wanted the opportunity
to homeschool my youngest son.
And so we were in this season of like, it works.
He can provide, I can stay home.
I have a teaching degree.
I would love to homeschool my kids.
We were on board with our same views of education
and things like that.
And so we did that.
Ladies, it was a nightmare.
Homeschooling my kids was a nightmare.
Like blending a family and then like you get to,
I mean, I inherited two teenagers
and trying to like build a relationship with them
and then teaching them.
after learning like they were being homeschooled and left to their own vices, like it was bad.
And so, you know, my husband and I had to have a lot of serious conversations because he was
not going to let go this idea of homeschooling our kids. But he learned to trust me and realized
that it was just not my heart anymore. That I was just like, this is not working. There's other
things that I want to do in my life. And we were able to come to an agreement and he sees these
opportunities of like me wanting to grow and being able to pour more into other women and parents
and things of that nature, that that's a desire and a dream of mine, even after my kids leave.
And then even my husband, he's like, he was working a corporate job. And then
as soon as we got married, his job was not stable anymore. And so we had like, at that point,
then we were both like, we were married, we were in relationship, we were married, we were dedicated,
committed to each other. And so our dreams and goals changed, but it's changed in the direction
of future together. So he ended up leaving his job. So the first year of marriage, my husband's
leaving his job and going out on his own, wanting to start a business. And so I have to, you know,
it's scary for me, but we support each other in that. And so we value each other's dreams and
goals and we move in that direction. So I would say in the season of life that you're in, because
as you build a life together, a lot of those things are going to align and you're going to
move into the future together. And you're going to learn, you're going to value and you're going
to love your spouse and they're going to love you, that they're going to desire you to achieve
your dreams and goals as well. And they're going to want to be alongside of you as well. So that's
one thing, like my husband and I, like we talk about those things and, you know, I, and from
other couples that I have learned that as you grow in your marriage, like those dreams and goals will
just continue to keep growing and changing based on what your life is in the moment.
Does that make sense? Does that help? I say, you know, people want to set you up with somebody
and maybe they're a little bit older. It doesn't hurt to just get to know them, go out on a date.
It doesn't have to be like, oh, this is a love match, love made in heaven. Jackie forced me
to connect with guys. And she's like, look, I want you to go on a date with this guy. It's not a love
connection. I'm like, what? Like, why? She's like, just go practice, go get, go enjoy getting to know
people. Well, those two guys, they're actually in my church and I know them and they're both like
10 or even more years older. And I don't know if I feel comfortable practicing with them because I
know them. And I think, would it be weird to now switch to a date and then go back to, oh,
let's stay friends or, yeah. Well, because I think, I mean, you're just like, hey, I mean,
approach it as like, let's go out for coffee. I want to get to know you better and see if there's
any connection there. And like, as you get to know them, like you can just mutually just say,
you know what, if it's not a romantic, just be like, I really enjoy getting to know you. I just
don't see this going in the direction of a romantic relationship. I had to do that with
a handful of guys in this community. Okay. Like I was all about wanting to meet all guys from,
from Jackie's community. Cause I was like, I don't want to do the online dating thing. I just want to
meet a guy that already kind of knows Jackie's ways. All right. And I know some of you ladies
are probably like, yeah, that's me. I want to meet ladies. I did the same thing. And there was a lot
of guys that I had to just be like, thanks, but no things like, I really appreciate getting to
know you. And here's the thing. If they're mature and they're, they're masculine, like divine
masculine, you're going to respect that. I mean, the way I had to look at it and the way I was
like envisioned and way that it was taught to me through Jackie is the last thing you or the other
person is going to want is being in a relationship. That's not meant for marriage. So there's no
there doesn't have to be any hard feelings. And if they do have hard feelings, then that's stuff
that they have to go work out on them for them themselves. But you can go in it with
heart of like, you know what? I don't see this romantic going somewhere romantic. I want you
to have the best opportunity to be in relationship with someone that God has for you and it's not me.
And there, it literally, it doesn't have to be any hard feelings whatsoever. And again, ladies,
as long as we're practicing these boundaries of not getting romantic, not getting like physically
intimate with them, it doesn't have to be awkward. Like I said, I broke things off with guys that I
was in level two with a handful of times. And some of them, I was still like, I still am in contact
with them. Like one guy, I actually invited to my wedding because he was in this community.
We were in a match, super nice guy. And I was like, you know, I still reach out and like,
ask how he's doing, like things like that. And same thing with the, with the, the boy that the,
I always called him like my Peter Pan boy. We always had names. We had code names for guys
that we were dating. And the guy that was in this community that I knew was like the fun uncle,
maybe I shouldn't say Peter Pan. Maybe I don't know if that's a very like compliment thing,
but he was fun uncle. I'll call him fun uncle. He is someone that still lives back where I,
I was living and I have like guy friends, like my husband has a guy friend that wants to,
you know, get into a church community and things like that. And they have a lot of similarities
and I like reached out to him and I was like, Hey how are you doing? Is it okay that I give
your contact information to one of my husband's like friends who lives in your area? And like,
so I still reach out to him. There's no awkwardness. There's no weirdness. Like he's
dating a really cool chick. I'm obviously married. Like it doesn't have to be awkward because again,
if you are keeping those boundaries, then it, it, it really doesn't there. It can be a mature,
a mature, like, Hey, it's cool getting to know you, but we're not for each other.
Does that work? Yeah. Just one more. If I may, I'm going to move on to a couple of other people
and then stick, stick by and then I'll, I'll come, come back to you. Okay. Cause I think
Joanne and I don't know if she is still on Joanne. Yes, she is. Okay. You put it in your,
in the chat. Is it the one that in the chat? Yeah. I'm in the hospital. Okay. Yeah. You're good.
Okay. So she says she has a few guys that she's on level to Facebook dating. So you've either had
video chats or like face-to-face in-person dates and you're having trouble with discovery dating.
How, or when do I ask if they want children? Okay. So you are 50 years young and want a guy
who wants children with you. I think with this one again, like it can be one of those things where
again, you're probably not going to ask on like the first or second date, but as you're,
you're seeing that maybe you have some common interest and you're really enjoying getting to
know them. I think it could be one of those things like after you've had a few conversations where
you're just, you know, talking about that. Like, you know, do you have, do you have any nieces or
nephews? Like you have sit like, you know, what was your childhood like? Have you ever considered
having kids? Like you can have, I would say, ask those questions as I would say a couple of dates
in and see where that goes from there. That was always, I mean, I had that same thing cause I was,
I was like 38, 39 when I was in this community. I obviously I had a son already
and I wanted to have more kids. And so I was finding like guys that were a little bit older,
they may not have wanted them. And I had to also understand
because I was a little bit older, the idea of if someone wanted kids biologically,
were they going to be okay if I had a hard time getting pregnant?
And so at that point, like the best advice that I can give you is, you know, trusting,
trusting the Lord with that, like trusting the Lord has that desire and knowing like, yes,
are they open to having kids? But are you also open? And are they open with however God wants
to bring those kids in your life? That was a big one for me. Cause ladies, let me tell you,
I, I struggled with this because I dated a few guys that had vasectomies.
And when I learned early on about that, like, I kind of was
like, that's not gonna work for me. Because at that at one
point, that was a non negotiable for me. Really, really wanted to
have my own birth baby. Because I had one already. And it was
not the best situation because I was in it was, I was, my son's
dad left me when I was seven months pregnant. So it wasn't
like, everything that I envisioned it. And so when I
learned that, like, it was a deal breaker for me. But ladies,
I met my husband, and got to know him. And then that topic
came up. And he had had a vasectomy, and he was not
interested in having more kids. And I was just like, I really
had to go to God. And when I went to him, I'm like, Lord,
like, what do I do? Like, you know, you told me I was going to
have more kids. Is this guy like someone you've sent? And God got
very real with me. And he's like, Carla, I told you, you
were going to have more children. I didn't say you were
going to birth them. I was like, Oh, I was like, okay, and
my husband had to two kids. So I was getting more children. It
just didn't look the way that I thought it was gonna look. But I
will tell you, God will give you peace. God will comfort your
heart. Okay? He knows. He knows like he has a plan. Okay. So I
would say again, when you're in that level two, and you're
getting to know people. And you see the like you see fruit, you
see fruit with a couple guys that you're, you know, in level
two relationship with, and you've gone on a couple dates.
And you're like, Okay, I want to see if this is going to grow
into something and that that point then have those
discussions. And you know, and go to God and ask him to reveal
to you like, Hey, is this is this guy, you know,
potentially somebody that wants kids, I want kids. So I want
someone who wants kids, you know, maybe go on a date
somewhere where like, there might be kids around, see how
they see how they respond to kids even. And you know, and
then that conversation can even come up naturally. You know, if
you see a guy is like, absolutely repulsed, like being
around some kids, like, okay, like, hey, like, you know, yeah,
I see you have a response to that. Like, do you do not like
being around kids? Have you never thought about having kids
of your own and then see what happens. So there's ways. Does
that does that give you at least a little some direction, Joanne?
Give me a thumbs up. I know. Okay. Okay. I hope it's giving
you some encouragement and like hope. And just again, it's the
trusting of the Lord. Really, you know, God knows your heart.
He knows your desires. You know, he's not gonna crush you. You
know, he's gonna give you what you want, in ways that you never
imagine. You know, and he'll comfort your heart too. So just
trust that. Trust that. I love you, girl. Yes, Julia. Thank you
so much for coming in. Ladies. I know we're about 15 minutes past
that hour. So if you do have to jump off, it's totally okay.
This will still I'm going to still continue to record. If you
have to jump off, and come back and catch the replay, you can
always fast forward that replay to where you had to leave. Okay,
so. But I do want to continue to take some of your questions. I
think Elaine asked her question. I think she had to jump off to
anybody else. I know Siggy said she had another question. But I
want to give everybody else an opportunity. I got y'all quiet
today. What's going on? What is happening? Anybody? If not, I'm
gonna let Siggy go. All right, Siggy, what you got?
Well, I'm just curious when you said your husband asked you to
be exclusive. If there were feelings involved already on
your part, when does the I feel in love jump in? Because I'm
just, I, I am, I think similar than you have been, I've always
gotten, you know, deep diving, and I can fall in love easily.
And I'm trying to
step away from that and I'm trying on level two to not get them, you know, give them the bridge and
I mean just to not flirt too much and I'm trying to find a balance. Do you flirt? How much do you
flirt? How much do you let them flirt with you? How do you respond? Where are your boundaries? How
much do you keep your heart and your feelings in check and when is it okay to let it flow or to let
yeah when is it important to have feelings to move on? So it took me like several weeks
to really open up to the idea because I was pretty guarded and so
it took me a couple weeks but I am naturally like a very like bubbly person. I say this because
I am an introvert okay but I'm very social. I just have to recharge like I you know after
you know being around a lot of people like I'm an empath. I'm a feeler. I like love engaging
with people but then I have to kind of like go like recharge but when I'm around people
I can be very bubbly and open so I always just kind of come with just like an excitement and
a joy and just like really enjoy getting to know people so and so naturally I can be flirty
and just engaging like that's just like I want people to feel comfortable around me.
That's important that people feel seen and heard and so naturally that happens and so I feel like
that happened with my husband and I but like I said three weeks like I was ready to cut and run
like he was kind of over sharing and asking deep questions and I was like dude no. So but
one thing that I will emphasize and this has always been important for me to share in this
community and like with anybody that's single and like sharing my love story is God's part in it.
I really spent time intimately knowing my heavenly father and speaking to him about it and praying
about my husband and praying about you know my desires and and listening to you know certain
things and you know coming in this community just you know prophetic words that were spoken things
that God revealed to me and just through the years God spoke to me about several different
things so that when I met my husband there was so much confirmation on it. So
when I was in this community Jackie had us activate and like speak to God about
dreams she wanted us to start dreaming and and and we would like I would get
crazy supernatural dreams at night when I joined this community and even before like God can use
dreams to speak to me and visions and things like that and so but it was also daydreaming
and so I had dreams of things that I was like God like what do you have for me like what would
this look like and I remember one time he spoke he's like I was also being activated by Jackie
for us to do some purging like things that we needed to get rid of not just the dead things
that you need to purge but the good things there's good things in life that sometimes we purge
to get great and so when I was in this season and really felt like this you know Jackie's word of
purging was really strong and I remember going to God and saying God do I need to purge my job
do I need to go in a different direction for my job because at this point I was just waiting tables
and I was like is this holding me back and God's like no you're not your job is good you're right
where you need to be you're providing for your son right now and yourself and he said but when
you and your husband are together you are going to go in business together and I was like what
like I am not this like business savvy mind like I like it just isn't like I'm not one of those like
go-getters like I'm going to start my own business I'll have dreams of it and think of like oh that
would be a cool idea but I'm not the one that's going to implement it I will have the vision and
the dream of it but I'm not an implementer and so that was very bizarre to me because
I never saw myself as that I was like okay whatever God
And through the, you know, through the years,
I had even one of my other like Holy Spirit filled friends
was like, you have like an entrepreneurial spirit.
And I was like, what are you talking about?
Like, that's just not me.
And so it was just all these little things.
And one of our conversations with my husband,
I was sharing with him a passion that I had
and how like strongly I felt about churches
serving single parents.
Cause I felt like single parents really are underserved
and a lot of churches don't know how
to serve single parents.
Like they think they know, but they don't know.
I mean, even in the church that I'm in now,
like they're like, we don't know how to serve.
Like, and I have some of the experience
because I'm like, I've been there.
I know what it's like to be a single mama.
All right, I know the things that I need
and I know how sometimes like single parents get overlooked.
And so sharing this with my husband
and sharing some of my ideas with him,
he's like, that's a great business plan.
And I remember like, Holy Spirit,
like shook me for a minute.
And I was like, and I was immediately reminded
of the conversation that I had with God about that.
And ladies, I was so like, I was like, I told you,
I was like ready to cut and run for my husband.
When I first like started getting to know him,
I immediately changed the subject.
I was like, no, I'm not going down this road.
Like God, I don't know about that.
And so it was like, that was something
that God really spoke to me.
There was a prophetic activation
that I did in this community.
We would do like on our prayer calls,
there was one like certain prayer leader,
she would have us like do things.
And so it was around Christmas time.
I think it was like in 2020 or something like that.
And she's like, you are a gift to your future husband.
And she's like, go jump out of your Christmas tree.
I was like, what?
She's like, you can turn your camera off
if you're too shy to do it.
Ladies, I was like in prayer and all that kind of stuff.
And I went and stood like right next to my tree
and was like, you know, did this activation.
I'm like, okay, Lord, I'm a gift to my husband, right?
And like, you know, lifted my hands up
and I thought it was like the kookiest thing to do.
Like, I was like, what is this like prayer leader
in this community having me do?
Ladies, on my first date with my husband,
we were at this restaurant
and it was like a nicer restaurant.
And like, Jackie's always like,
don't go to the expensive nice restaurants on the first date
but my husband picked it.
And I was like, oh man, I'm like,
I literally was like, he's like picked this like fancy,
nice restaurant, like, oh my goodness.
He was already seated at the table when I got there
because there was an upstairs,
which was the nicer restaurant.
And then there was like a downstairs, like casual restaurant
and I was searching the casual restaurant for him.
No, he was at the nicer restaurant upstairs.
I was like, oh my God, what is happening?
So he was already seated at the table.
I go up there, tell the hostess like,
okay, I'm here to meet somebody.
And she's like, oh yeah, there's a guy here.
He's already seated.
And she's like, here, if you turn down this way
and go down this, you know, like, you know, walkway,
he's down at the end of the walkway.
Ladies, it was so weird how this restaurant was set up.
This table was like not,
it was like almost like it was in the middle of nowhere.
Like all these other tables were like in like,
it looked like more of a room.
This one was just awkwardly placed.
And then there was a couple other ones,
like kind of down this other like row.
It was weird.
But right next to the table was a Christmas tree.
I was like, oh, and I love Christmas.
I was like, oh, Christmas, you know?
And I was seated with the tree right behind me.
And I'm like, hold up.
Like, and I like, that didn't like dawn on me
until like after the date.
And I was like, oh, this activation that it did.
And so like, as I was like getting to know him
and sharing things, there was just so many,
so many confirmations that God had like spoken to me
that were just starting to come in alignment.
And it was really, God was just like sharing with me,
like, I have this guy handpicked for you.
And I've been in it the whole time.
You just weren't ready for it.
Because ladies, I don't know,
like you might've heard this story.
I know that we got some new ladies on here.
You might not have heard this story.
But I was, my non-negotiable was,
I was not moving out of the state.
Florida. I loved Florida. I'd lived there for 15 years. I was
not moving. And I had a conversation with Jackie. And
she's like, I don't, I don't think your husband's in your
area. Now she had been she had felt the Lord. When I first met
Jackie, she felt the Lord told her like basically she she
thought I was going to move. She's like, I always felt like
you were going to move and she would put those little nuggets
in there for me. But she's and she'll tell you she is not about
to encourage any singles with children to move away from their
other parents. But she also learned a new like my situation
and she's like, I don't I don't think I don't think you have to
be tied there. I think it's you're gonna move. So she had
shared with me, like, I don't think I don't like your
husband's near you. You got to be willing to like relocate. And
I was like, no, they had really good to me. But one of the last
conversations I had with her before I met my husband. I was
really like done. I was like, I'm done with this. I'm done
with dating. I can't do this. I've been in this community for
two years. It's not happening. I'm, I'm, I'm just I tore up
from the floor up like it's, it's just not working. And so
but she she opened my eyes to that. And I was like, fine, God's
just gonna have to do it in a crazy way. Well, then a week
later, this guy reaches out to me from because one of my
friends in this community shared my information with him. And
when she looked at his information, it said that he
works remotely, but he travels 10% of the year for work. And
his work was in Clearwater, Florida. So I was under the
impression while you work, but you sometimes have to leave 10%
out of the you know, he didn't actually he didn't share that he
worked remotely. He just says that he travels for work. So I
thought, okay, he lives in Clearwater. And sometimes he has
to leave and travel for work. So when he reached out to me,
I'm like, Hey, I'm in Sarasota, Florida. It's pretty close to
Clearwater. Is that where you live? Like, how close like, how
close are you from Sarasota? He's like, Oh, I don't I don't
live in Florida. I live in Texas. And I was like, you got
me flipping kidding me. Like what? But he's like, Oh, I'm
sorry. Is that a problem? And I'm like, No, my mentor kind of
said I need to be open to dating people that aren't near
me. So I'm like, I'm willing to get to know you. So I had to
even go to God with that because I was like, I'm not I'm not
moving. I'm not moving. And so it was more of like God
highlighting to me and giving me peace about opening my heart to
this person. And really like truly like wanting to get to
know him. And again, he was so intentional and masculine and
mature. He was so respectful and he honored my boundaries. He
like it. He made me feel safe to be able to do that. And so I say
all of that is because again, when you are in God's
alignment, there's no, there's no questioning, there's no
confusion, there will be a piece of it, really do your best to
just enjoy the process and getting to know somebody. And
just, you know, listen to God, converse with him, share your
hopes and dreams, let him speak those things to you. And he will
show you and you know, it's it's beautiful. Like I can't tell
like I said, I can sit here and give you all these little
nuggets of all these God confirmation or God winks that
God was showing me, it's okay to press into this one. You
know, same thing like we we've decided to be exclusive. And
literally, the a few days, it was like a few days after we
decided to be exclusive. The night the morning after I shared
with my son about me being in a relationship and ladies, my son
was up. He woke up in the middle of the night with the
babysitter and saw me hugging my husband now at like, we were
just I mean, it was it was literally like a very like,
friendly hug. It wasn't like anything crazy. It was a hug
goodnight. He was helping me with my things because I had
packed like a charcuterie thing and like, we did like wine and
stuff because again, we were like exclusive at this point.
So we did like a picnic night
a date. And so I brought all this stuff. And so he carried
like the bag and I took the bag at my front door and he gave me
a hug goodnight. My my son was up the stairs looking and seeing
me and he's like, Mom, who's that? Who is that boy? Why are
you hugging him? And I was like, and I remember like, doing God,
what do I do? What do I do? What do I do? Because I wasn't I
wasn't going to introduce or let my son know, unless I was
really sure. And I felt like this was going in that
direction. But I'm like, this is scary territory for me. I'm
like, God, I don't know what to do. That's like, tell him the
truth. I was like, really, God, like, you're ready for me to
share with my thing. He was seven at the time. Yeah, he was
seven. He had just turned seven. I'm like, okay. And so I told
my son and he's like, does this mean you're getting married? I
was like, really, God, you had me tell my son and now I'm
getting interrogated by my seven year old. And God's like, do you
trust me? It's okay to tell your son. He gave me such a piece
about it. And I told my son, I said, Well, honey, that's kind
of the idea, what we've been praying for. You know, my son
was, I mean, I was on these calls, we did these types of
calls in the evenings and stuff like that. Like, Jackie did
teachings, like, you know, we did love seats and stuff like
that. So my son would hear he would hear the us praying for
our husbands, like all of that stuff. And you know, it helped
nurture and like, cultivate my son's heart for it, too. And he
was ready for it. So he was so thrilled. And I was like, honey,
that's kind of the point. He was so excited. And so it was things
like that. And then that next morning, my son's biological
father called me because I mean, he was living in Florida as
well. And my son would go see him every other weekend. And
that next morning after I told my son, his biological dad
called me to tell me he was moving out of the state of
Florida. It literally like God was like, I told you, I got
this. It's all about my timing, Carla. And it really was because
had his dad not been like ready to go, I don't know how how much
courage I would have had to move out of the state of Florida
because I was sometimes I was very scared of his dad. I was
scared of him bullying me. And so God was like, you don't have
to worry I have you have no ties for you not to leave. Because
he's like, I already got taken care of. I knew he's like, I
knew when you know, your son's dad was going to need to move.
And that's when I mean, he brought my husband at the
perfect time. And let me tell you, it was really good for my
son, too. Because you know how hard it is for a seven year old
to have to explain to him that his dad is moving halfway across
the country. We were living in Florida, his dad was moving to
Michigan. A seven year old boy who struggles at a relationship
with his dad is having to learn that his dad is moving away from
him. It was perfect timing because you know how I was able
to pour into my son. He was getting another dad to not that
he was getting replaced. But God knew what he needed. And he
brought my husband to go be a father figure that the father
figure that my son was lacking. All right, I don't say that to
criticize his biological father, because there really was a lot
of healing and forgiveness. Not that I don't have hard times
with his dad, his biological dad. But it was a my husband
was able to come and step in in that role. And ladies like my
husband would come visit me because we were living apart for
a while. And he would come visit and he would come to my son's
baseball games. He lived halfway across that he lived in Texas,
my son and I were in Florida. And he would come for work and
come see us and you know, and he would make a point to show up at
my son's baseball games. And my my son's biological father lived
like 40 minutes away, and maybe came to one game in a season. My
husband had been to like, four or five games in one season
because he was coming frequently. And he'd show up,
you know, he'd be there for a week. So there would be two
games. Like he just like God is intricately involved in y'all's
love stories. Those ladies that are on here that have children,
he is involved in their
love story too, because your love story is your kid's love story.
So God, like when you really do align and partner with him and you really spend
time in this program,
really leaning and pressing into to your heavenly father and
gleaning things and asking him to highlight things in areas that you need to
learn and grow. I mean, that's why I always say,
like when y'all are watching these videos, what can you, like, what is having,
you know, what is your heavenly father highlighting to you when you're out on
dates with guys? How are you responding to the things that men do?
Is there something being highlighted to you that you need,
you need to work and grow in? Because it's just, it's, again,
it's drawing you closer to your heavenly father,
because that in itself is the best thing you can get from this
community. The husband is just the,
is just the bonus. It's just like a little cherry on top,
but the real fruit from this program is having that intimate relationship
with heavenly father and letting him write your love story.
Ladies, I would never,
never have imagined my love story.
Like I would have never imagined this is how I would have met my husband.
I would have never imagined all these little things that happen that confirmed.
And I was thankful to it because let me tell you, when you step into marriage,
like it's not always easy. Like you're going to like hit some rough spots.
There's going to be some, like, it's that, you know, iron sharpens iron.
There's some things like,
there's some like hard things that have to really get smoothed out and worked
out. And you know, when you hit those like bumpy waters, like I told you ladies,
like we're blending a family. Ooh,
you'll hear Jackie say there's a reason why blended rhymes with offended.
Y'all it can be hard.
There's a lot of hard days when you're blending a family.
My husband also had to step away from his solid income
because things were Rocky.
And so that was not something that I anticipated homeschooling
three kids that I thought was like going to be this like picture perfect,
like scenario turned out to be a nightmare.
Like there was a lot of areas where we really had to grow together.
And so I was so thankful that God was involved
and I listened to him and I took his pacing and I went on his timing
because it reminds me every day that my
husband was handpicked by God.
So even when like we're going through some rough spots, because ladies,
let me tell you like you will, I mean,
how many of y'all have best friends and sometimes you get in fights with your
best friends. Y'all don't get in fights with your husbands too. Okay.
Let me tell you. All right.
Like there's some things that my husband does that irritates me.
And it really like sets me off at times.
And I have to choose to like wake up and I choose him every day because
God handpicked him. All right.
My husband has to wake up and choose me every day.
Cause sometimes I'm not the funniest to be around either. I mean,
I know y'all like see her thinking, Oh, like, no there's,
Carla doesn't have any yellow flag. There's nothing that she, you know,
she's just showing up glorious in her marriage all day, every day, ladies.
No, I'm being sarcastic.
There's times where I'm not the best version of myself and my husband still
chooses me.
So like it's so important that when you are in
these relationships,
it's like you really do have a strong intimate relationship with your heavenly
father because he's what gets you through.
So no, there do not always have to be the butterflies. No,
I'll tell you. And then you get in the marriage and then there's,
sometimes there's just not the best. Sometimes you're just like,
I need you to clean up after yourself.
Or why didn't this bill get paid?
It was due like several days ago and you completely neglected it.
And now we have a late fee. What are you doing? Like, so there's, you know,
there's all sorts of things. So yeah, it doesn't always have to be butterflies,
but I will tell you,
be open to like God just coming in soft and softening your heart to that
idea, get to know them, see the fruit and inspect the fruit.
That's there in these men. And just because, you know,
and I went on dates and there were lots of men that had great solid
fruit, but I just, there was just not a comfort in it.
And I knew they were good guys, but they just weren't mine.
And in that case,
you bring him to our community because he's maybe he's for one of your sisters
in here. But it's, again,
it's just having that relationship with heavenly father and really going to him.
And it's okay to like people too.
Like I did, I did get excited talking about my husband.
Like I would come in this community and share about my dates.
All right.
Like I would come and I would do videos and like, oh my gosh, like this is what happened.
We did this on this date and I would get super excited and like giddy and all that kind of
stuff.
And so I did share that in this community.
I, you know, opened up and there were times there was absolute excitement in that.
And it was okay to be excited.
So I don't say like, don't sit here and like close yourself off.
You know, if you really enjoy somebody, enjoy them.
It really, you know, it's totally okay.
And if you want to flirt, you can flirt and you can still do that.
And it might not be a level three relationship in the future.
Or it might not, you know, you might be in level three and you're flirting and then something
kind of comes up and you realize this really isn't the person God has for you.
And that's okay too.
All right.
It's okay.
Like you're going to want to end relationships that are not God appointed and divine.
It's totally okay.
And there doesn't have to be hard feelings.
We do have that boundaries video where we talk about healthy conflict.
It's okay to have healthy conflict.
It's okay to have healthy conversations.
It's okay to communicate.
And there doesn't have to be hard feelings.
And at the end of the day, if someone has a hard feeling, it's there, it's theirs.
They are grown men and you all are grown women and you can sort that out on your own and
they can sort it out on their own.
So we don't have to.
So going into that, I know some ladies were talking about this fear of leading people
on ladies.
You're not leading anybody on.
If you're really, if you're communicating, you're, you're there to get to know them.
It's not a leading on leading on is where you are like actually manipulating and purposely
wanting to gain something from them and you have no desire to pour back into them.
Like that's a, that's that, that's manipulative.
That's that's leading people on.
That's taking advantage of somebody.
I, it's a heart, it's a heart posture.
It's not a, I'm getting to know you.
I feel bad that I'm going out on the second or third date and I really don't know if like
I want to continue it.
That's not leading someone on.
That's allowing yourself an opportunity to get to know them.
And that's totally okay.
All right.
I think I'm, I'm assuming I'll have any more questions.
I don't see any other hands raised.
Some of you ladies were quiet today.
Good.
What's that?
Try not to be so loud.
One of the things that I had the challenge with was the fact that I feel like the leading
on, like, you know, they're nice, they look nice.
They have their profile.
It seems nice.
And then you have a few chats and then you're like, I don't know, I don't know.
And then, so you feel kind of guilty, but then I guess the way that you're explaining,
I don't feel guilty that way, but I don't know.
So I'm trying to figure out what do I say to myself, that girl, this exploratory is
just exploratory.
Yeah.
It feels yellowish.
It may not turn, you know, green or may turn green.
I don't know.
So that's where it's like, come and come into this community.
Let us know.
Why does it like, what are you seeing that feels yellowish?
Like we'll help you talk through that.
And again, like, is, are you saying like you're seeing yellow flags in the chatting
conversation before getting on a video or before going on an in-person date?
So help me understand what things would you mark as yellow?
Like give me an example.
So like this one guy, you know, I saw he had a pretty decent profile, you know, Christian
and you know, tall, blah, blah, blah.
So I was like, okay, let me say hello.
You know, go from the community to a level one.
And then the first thing, sorry, that's the machine.
He dumps like a whole text of like, I'm single, I have my own apartment, blah, blah, blah,
blah.
In one text.
And I was like, okay.
And he's like, he's like, oh, I'm retired.
And I'm just like, okay, congratulations on retirement.
Like, I don't know what to say to that, you know?
Yeah.
And again, this is where, you know, you will have to extend grace to these guys, especially
if they're on dating apps, you know, like we have Jackie and y'all have a group of coaches
helping you.
These guys don't.
So yeah, he probably doesn't know.
Dude.
You don't have to dump all that stuff.
I think it's just be like,
wow, thank you for sharing that information with me.
Tell me more about what kinds of things
that you like to do now that you're retired.
What does that look like for you?
What do you enjoy most about being retired?
Or what did you do
and what did you love most about your job?
I mean, again, it's that redirecting,
kind of shifting the conversation.
Again, not everybody knows how to text.
I mean, women do it too.
Ladies do it too.
It's not just a man thing.
It's a people thing.
We all don't, you know,
we're just in this world trying to date
and sometimes, and there's no handbook on it, right?
You know, and not everybody has a Jackie, like I said.
So, you know, it's just extending grace
and just understanding it can be awkward for them too.
And we don't know what experiences they've had in the past.
They don't know, you don't know, you know,
women that they've had to interact with,
unhealthy women they might have interacted
with on dating apps.
And a lot of times it's what we've experienced
is how we show up in the future.
And so again, they probably haven't had heart work.
So again, I think it's just extending grace,
you know, being polite when they bring up those types
of, you know, things like, oh, wow, you know,
like I appreciate you sharing that information with me.
Da-da-da-da-da.
And now if they start asking you questions
like about your exes and about all that kind of stuff,
you can be like, that's a really great question.
You can say, okay, if it's a question that you can answer,
but you seem like it's a little deep early on
and for like over a text, you can be like,
that's a really good question.
I would love to answer that.
Maybe if we could get on a video chat
so we can see each other's like facial expressions
and hear each other's tones.
Like that's, it's kind of one of those questions
that is more of a face-to-face question.
And so you can share that.
You can, then that kind of like segues
into like getting in front of them.
Or if it's something about an ex or like a past relationship
or if you've been divorced
and they want to know more information,
then we coach you ladies to respond.
Like, you know, I really appreciate that question
with us just, you know, newly getting to know each other.
I like to see where this goes
before I get into that kind of stuff.
So let's just see where this leads
and we can always revisit this question in the future.
Would that be okay with you?
And then you, now you've set a boundary.
You're asking them like, okay, is this like,
I would appreciate like, you know,
let's have this conversation for later on.
Is that all right?
Because now you've put in that position where it's like,
this is what I feel comfortable with.
And now you allow that man to honor and respect
a boundary and a comfort.
And again, that comes back.
Now the masculine can show up.
They can honor that.
And then they might, you know,
and again, this will help you.
They'll maybe honor it in that moment.
Now, if the next conversation or like, you know,
you conversations down the road,
they try to bring it up again.
You can, again, like lay the groundwork.
And if they keep prepping or probing
then that's when you're like, okay,
they're not being considerate of that.
And that might be where you're like, okay,
this is a flag that's kind of turning
like a little orangish red.
Okay, so maybe I don't see this going anywhere
sort of thing.
But if they honor that and they respect that,
then that's that yellow flag is now turning green
because you've communicated what you're comfortable with.
And now they get to choose to honor that or not.
So I get, I totally get what you're saying.
Like sometimes these men on dating apps,
like they just dump, my husband dumped a lot of stuff.
My husband was right out the gate
sharing how his late wife died and she was unhealthy.
She was borderline,
like she had borderline personality disorder.
It's very toxic.
His marriage was held for 11 years.
I mean, my husband dumped some of this stuff
and after I was like, I'm gonna cut and run.
I don't like this one bit.
I remember going to Jackie and being like, I don't know.
And she's like, Harla, just go on a date,
get to know him, enjoy the process.
She's like, stop overthinking everything
because I'm an overthinker.
I'm a deep diver and then I overthink everything.
And she's like, let it go.
Just go have fun.
Let a guy take you out on a nice date.
So I was, I mean, my husband did that.
My husband didn't have a Jackie.
He asked a lot of deep personal questions
and I was like, no dude, I'm not answering that yet.
And again, my husband respected it and he was okay with it.
So not, not all guys that do that are bad guys.
My husband is one of them.
Like sometimes he's like, well, I don't know.
I just needed, and I'm like, I get it, honey.
But my whole thing was your late wife is no longer on this earth.
She cannot defend herself.
But obviously I saw through time, like he was open to counseling.
He, he and her went to therapy.
I even like we ended up going to the same therapist.
So I learned a lot of details about it and realized like he really did go
through a lot of trauma in this past marriage.
And so he was bringing some stuff in, but I also saw how he was willing
to learn and grow and not make those same mistakes.
And so that's why it was a green flag for me.
But again, I didn't see that overnight.
I didn't see that just in a couple of dates.
I saw that in time.
And so once we were in exclusive relationship, we could
really talk about those things.
And then obviously he was coming to visit my son.
He had interactions with my son's dad.
And so I had to open up a little bit more about my situation and how
I grew and, and, and, you know, healed from that, I mean, even now
my husband sometimes doesn't understand how I can just let things go with
my son's dad, because he gets very protective.
He gets really angry with how his dad shows up.
And I'm like, you have to understand, like I've gone through, you know,
nine years of healing from this.
And, and I, I just know how to handle it.
I don't have to get hurt and offended and upset anymore.
Like I just have to show up for my son.
So like, there's just, you learn that and you grow in that, but you know, not
everybody's going to make, you know, the best, they might not show, you know,
they're going to show some yellow flags.
My husband did, but he also had those yellow flags turn green with time.
Okay.
Thank you, Joanna or Joanne.
Sorry.
I appreciate you.
All right.
I think, is that it everybody?
Oh, totally get you.
I'm so glad you, okay.
With the long distance.
Yes.
Okay.
I don't want to relocate, but maybe someone would be okay.
So yeah, those are things I think I even shared on a post earlier today, or maybe
there, I think it was you, like you said that you can't relocate, but you're open
to long distance with the understanding that, you know, they're going to have to
be open and merging your life together.
That's totally okay.
Like, you know, Sarah said that she, she lives in a small town, so there's
not very much of a dating pool.
So she's going to probably have to whine in her circle and being open to that.
But understanding like, I'm guessing, cause you, you said you're a single mom
to three, and my guess is you can't relocate because of a parental
agreement would be my guess.
Yeah.
So, but again, it doesn't mean that someone can't relocate.
And those are things that again, would be it.
That's a non-negotiable when you're getting to know them and you're
sharing a little bit of your life.
Obviously they're going to, you know, you're going to tell people if you have
kids, you're going to tell them, I am not, I'm not one of those people that
will keep, keep that from people.
I also, my opinion is you need to put that you have kids on your dating profile.
Keeping that, I just, I know some people are like, we'll hear from therapists
and other, you know, people like, oh, you shouldn't because pedophiles look for
that y'all I'm all, I'm a believer about being God defended and protected and
using wisdom and discernment and being safe when it comes to my kid.
And so I shared that I have a kid, but I also didn't give them
all this information either.
I didn't share pictures of my son.
I, you know, I said he was like elementary age.
I didn't share what grade he was in.
So, you know, obviously she's going to express like I have kids, you know, they,
they go see their father, all that kind of stuff.
So I can't relocate, but I'm open to long distance.
And then as you're getting to know them and you're, you're
growing and getting to know them.
And if you see potential there, before you step into level three, you're
going to have that conversation of what an, a relationship will
look like if it goes level three.
And at that point, if they're like, well, I'm not, I'm not relocating,
then yeah, it may hurt.
It might sting a little bit.
Cause you really enjoy getting to know them, but if they can't
relocate, then it's going to be okay.
Then that just isn't the person that God has for you.
Cause ladies, God is not going to bring your person and then put this roadblock
in the way of saying here, here's what I have for you, but nope, you.
You can't have them because of this.
God is not gonna do that.
God will make a way.
Ladies, if God can send my biological,
my son's biological father out of the state
and open the door for me,
if God can do it for me, he's gonna do it for you all.
Whatever your circumstance looks like, okay?
So if you don't, if you can't relocate
and you're open to long distance,
then he knows your situation.
He knows a reason why you can't relocate
if that's really the case.
And he's not gonna bring you in a relationship
with someone who can't then meet that need, okay?
God knows you.
God knows your person.
He's not gonna be like, oh, here, you can have him,
but he's at arm's length and you really can't have him, okay?
So like I said, if he can do it for me,
y'all, he can do it for you.
So I love that, Mariska, that you are open
to having someone relocate.
That's good.
And again, just be open.
Release the pen.
All right.
All right, ladies, we've taken lots of time today.
Thank you so much for sticking it out with me.
As always, I just hope that these stories
and my walk has been inspiring to you.
Like I said, I love doing this
because there was so much poured into me
when I was in the season that you were in in this community.
And it just fills me with joy to be able
to give that back to you and give you some inspiration
and some encouragement and some hope,
because I had many times where I was frustrated and annoyed
and was like, ah, at this whole situation.
Like I said, I was in it for about two years
until my husband came along and I was done.
And Jackie's shared a little bit of my story in the past
and she'll tell you, I was over it,
but I borrowed her faith.
She had faith in my love story.
We all here at Last Year Single
have faith in your love story
and we are right here with you.
So don't be afraid to come into the community
and share with us what's going on in your life.
We all have different journeys
and different paces that we're gonna go.
So get to know each other, come into the community,
share what's going on in your life, all right?
Connect with one another, all right?
You are so welcome, ladies.
Have a wonderful, wonderful day.
If you are in the United States, don't forget to vote.
And I know some of our ladies are not,
are in Canada and Ziggy, I don't know where,
you're not, where are you at?
I'm in Germany, Munich, Germany.
That's right.
I knew you were in Europe somewhere.
I couldn't remember what,
but if you are in the United States, ladies,
make sure you get out and vote, okay?
And pray, pray, pray, pray, all right?
All right, ladies, thank you so much for your time today.
I love you all and I will see you all next week.
Bye.