WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.520 So there we go. 2 00:00:03.520 --> 00:00:06.760 We are recording Men's Heart Check-In for Monday, 3 00:00:06.760 --> 00:00:08.400 November 11th. 4 00:00:08.400 --> 00:00:09.960 So yay, we're recording. 5 00:00:09.960 --> 00:00:11.200 It's really good. 6 00:00:11.200 --> 00:00:14.280 All of you who can't make it on Monday night 7 00:00:14.280 --> 00:00:17.360 and you're watching this in replay, we welcome you 8 00:00:17.360 --> 00:00:21.800 and want you to definitely enjoy this conversation 9 00:00:21.800 --> 00:00:25.000 and interaction that we're going to have tonight. 10 00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:30.040 Everybody, we were just rehearsing some changes 11 00:00:30.040 --> 00:00:32.119 and woes and different things we're going through. 12 00:00:32.119 --> 00:00:36.800 So thank you, Mike, for sharing some of that. 13 00:00:36.800 --> 00:00:42.240 Just wanted to, again, open the floor tonight to share. 14 00:00:42.240 --> 00:00:45.240 We might have a couple new people. 15 00:00:45.240 --> 00:00:48.600 Danny, hi, Danny. 16 00:00:48.600 --> 00:00:51.400 Danny, I've met you in person, right, in Reading. 17 00:00:51.400 --> 00:00:52.800 Is that correct? 18 00:00:52.800 --> 00:00:54.080 Yes, sir. 19 00:00:54.080 --> 00:00:55.920 Is this the first time you've been on a Heart Check-In, 20 00:00:55.920 --> 00:00:56.520 though? 21 00:00:56.520 --> 00:00:57.720 Yeah, this is my first one. 22 00:00:57.720 --> 00:01:00.200 I couldn't make it to the other ones. 23 00:01:00.200 --> 00:01:00.760 Oh, that's it. 24 00:01:00.760 --> 00:01:01.680 Yeah, it's cool. 25 00:01:01.680 --> 00:01:03.080 I just want to double check that. 26 00:01:03.080 --> 00:01:04.680 So just welcome. 27 00:01:04.680 --> 00:01:06.600 We always want to welcome, make sure 28 00:01:06.600 --> 00:01:08.560 we're giving attention to first-timers as well. 29 00:01:08.560 --> 00:01:09.080 Steven. 30 00:01:12.960 --> 00:01:15.000 Pardon me. 31 00:01:15.000 --> 00:01:15.600 Hi, Steven. 32 00:01:18.120 --> 00:01:19.920 OK. 33 00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:23.000 My mic is much more quiet than Mike's, just an FYI. 34 00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:26.560 So it's really low. 35 00:01:26.560 --> 00:01:28.560 I have a little microphone over here like this. 36 00:01:28.560 --> 00:01:29.960 Is it better if I talk into that? 37 00:01:29.960 --> 00:01:31.280 But I'm not going to do that all night. 38 00:01:31.280 --> 00:01:32.400 So I'm going to just turn it up. 39 00:01:32.400 --> 00:01:33.120 How about that? 40 00:01:33.120 --> 00:01:35.760 I'm going to go like this and then turn it up. 41 00:01:35.760 --> 00:01:36.920 So give me a second. 42 00:01:36.920 --> 00:01:38.480 Let me do that. 43 00:01:38.480 --> 00:01:40.400 Why is David's neck all crooked? 44 00:01:40.400 --> 00:01:42.640 Oh, it's because he was talking into the mic all day. 45 00:01:42.640 --> 00:01:45.080 I'm like this all night. 46 00:01:45.080 --> 00:01:49.440 Yeah, he's trying to do an ASMR thing, you know? 47 00:01:49.560 --> 00:01:50.680 Being all that close. 48 00:01:56.320 --> 00:01:58.840 I'm going to totally abandon this if this does not work. 49 00:01:58.840 --> 00:02:05.560 I once listened to a Lord of the Rings ASMR audio book. 50 00:02:05.560 --> 00:02:07.000 Well, it wasn't Lord of the Rings. 51 00:02:07.000 --> 00:02:09.520 It was Silmarillion ASMR. 52 00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:10.919 Oh, I love the Silmarillion. 53 00:02:10.919 --> 00:02:13.200 I read the book. 54 00:02:13.200 --> 00:02:15.360 I didn't want to actually read a physical book. 55 00:02:15.360 --> 00:02:16.400 I wanted an audio book. 56 00:02:16.400 --> 00:02:18.520 And the only thing I had for one portion of it 57 00:02:18.520 --> 00:02:21.600 was the ASMR, the only thing I could find. 58 00:02:26.920 --> 00:02:33.440 I've been listening to Jackie at 1.25. 59 00:02:33.440 --> 00:02:35.120 You guys are going way off the reservation. 60 00:02:35.120 --> 00:02:37.280 I don't even know what you're talking about now. 61 00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:43.440 Way off into no man's land. 62 00:02:43.440 --> 00:02:45.480 I don't get how people can process things 63 00:02:45.480 --> 00:02:48.480 if they put it on a faster speed. 64 00:02:48.480 --> 00:02:50.440 I don't get it. 65 00:02:50.440 --> 00:02:52.320 1.25 is about the most. 66 00:02:52.320 --> 00:02:56.640 If you do 1.5, it's way too fast. 67 00:02:56.640 --> 00:02:59.080 My audio books are at 2, so, you know, but. 68 00:02:59.080 --> 00:03:00.080 At 2? 69 00:03:00.080 --> 00:03:03.320 Yeah, I'm jamming through. 70 00:03:03.320 --> 00:03:05.080 Well, it actually depends. 71 00:03:05.080 --> 00:03:07.560 Some of them are slow, right? 72 00:03:07.560 --> 00:03:08.880 Oh, if they're slow, yeah. 73 00:03:08.880 --> 00:03:10.960 I had one where the author read it, 74 00:03:10.960 --> 00:03:13.280 and oh, she enunciated everything. 75 00:03:13.280 --> 00:03:15.000 It was driving me crazy. 76 00:03:15.000 --> 00:03:18.760 If I'm reading like a medical, doing a medical audio book, 77 00:03:18.760 --> 00:03:21.240 I like it at 0.8. 78 00:03:21.240 --> 00:03:21.760 Wow. 79 00:03:21.760 --> 00:03:23.160 Yeah, probably makes more sense. 80 00:03:23.160 --> 00:03:24.920 Can you hear me? 81 00:03:24.920 --> 00:03:26.000 Yeah. 82 00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:27.000 OK. 83 00:03:27.000 --> 00:03:29.560 You guys are really dialed in on your like audio books things. 84 00:03:29.560 --> 00:03:32.400 I don't know what to say about that, so. 85 00:03:32.400 --> 00:03:34.560 Long commute, like a two hour commute. 86 00:03:34.560 --> 00:03:35.840 Oh, that's why. 87 00:03:35.840 --> 00:03:39.280 And if you have Speechify, you can turn anything 88 00:03:39.280 --> 00:03:40.760 into an audio book, even if it's not. 89 00:03:40.760 --> 00:03:42.320 Oh, yeah. 90 00:03:42.320 --> 00:03:43.400 This is awesome. 91 00:03:43.440 --> 00:03:45.040 Is this what we're going to do all night? 92 00:03:45.040 --> 00:03:47.720 We're going to talk about audio speed? 93 00:03:47.720 --> 00:03:51.440 Oh, I want to talk about some kind of win I had. 94 00:03:51.440 --> 00:03:52.440 There you go. 95 00:03:52.440 --> 00:03:55.160 I'll get to you in just a minute. 96 00:03:55.160 --> 00:03:57.800 Steven, I want to welcome you. 97 00:03:57.800 --> 00:04:01.720 Is this your first time to Monday Heart Check-In? 98 00:04:01.720 --> 00:04:03.280 This is my first live. 99 00:04:03.280 --> 00:04:07.800 I've watched a couple of the recordings, but yeah. 100 00:04:07.800 --> 00:04:10.760 I'm not in the US, so my time zone 101 00:04:10.760 --> 00:04:13.000 is quite different to where you guys are. 102 00:04:13.000 --> 00:04:13.640 Yeah. 103 00:04:13.640 --> 00:04:16.120 Is it morning time for you? 104 00:04:16.120 --> 00:04:19.720 It's actually 2 PM or quarter past 2 in the afternoon 105 00:04:19.720 --> 00:04:21.320 right now. 106 00:04:21.320 --> 00:04:23.840 And that is what, the next day though, right? 107 00:04:23.840 --> 00:04:24.360 Your Tuesday? 108 00:04:24.360 --> 00:04:25.200 Yes. 109 00:04:25.200 --> 00:04:26.680 That's correct, yes. 110 00:04:26.680 --> 00:04:29.560 Man, what's it like to be in the future? 111 00:04:29.560 --> 00:04:30.120 Tell me. 112 00:04:30.120 --> 00:04:32.000 I can tell you all sorts of things. 113 00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:33.560 Do you want to know the lotto numbers? 114 00:04:33.560 --> 00:04:35.080 It's going to happen tomorrow at noon 115 00:04:35.080 --> 00:04:36.840 so that I can be ready for it. 116 00:04:36.840 --> 00:04:38.800 At least we know the world's still here, right? 117 00:04:38.800 --> 00:04:39.440 Yes. 118 00:04:39.440 --> 00:04:40.000 That's great. 119 00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:40.720 That is true. 120 00:04:40.720 --> 00:04:43.760 The world is still there at 2 o'clock to Monday. 121 00:04:43.760 --> 00:04:45.520 Brian, welcome. 122 00:04:45.520 --> 00:04:48.040 This is not your first time, right? 123 00:04:48.040 --> 00:04:52.520 I don't think I did a check-in a couple years ago. 124 00:04:52.520 --> 00:04:54.760 Yeah, I don't think I've ever done a live one. 125 00:04:54.760 --> 00:04:55.760 Wow, OK, cool. 126 00:04:55.760 --> 00:04:57.240 So welcome, Brian. 127 00:04:57.240 --> 00:04:58.040 Thank you. 128 00:04:58.040 --> 00:05:00.560 I just saw Brian in. 129 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:00.520 California. 130 00:05:00.520 --> 00:05:02.700 We were at a conference together, a hundred X conference. 131 00:05:02.700 --> 00:05:05.000 So that was really great and really cool. 132 00:05:05.600 --> 00:05:12.680 Um, I am careful to not plug a lot of things to try to sound salesy, 133 00:05:13.200 --> 00:05:16.940 you know, but I'd be willing to talk about more things on this heart check 134 00:05:16.940 --> 00:05:20.780 and call too, or maybe we schedule another type of call to talk about 135 00:05:20.800 --> 00:05:25.760 other things because there are some other things that, you know, I'm 136 00:05:25.760 --> 00:05:29.460 connected to the check-in are connected to that we'd love to share with people. 137 00:05:29.940 --> 00:05:34.900 Uh, for their benefit, not for like trying to like upsell something or 138 00:05:34.900 --> 00:05:39.540 trying to affiliate or anything like that, but just to literally expose. 139 00:05:40.060 --> 00:05:45.840 Um, kingdom people to new things, new ideas, new ways of thinking. 140 00:05:45.900 --> 00:05:49.640 Um, most of you are enterprising and career oriented. 141 00:05:49.640 --> 00:05:53.580 You're already doing amazing, wonderful, innovative things. 142 00:05:54.180 --> 00:06:02.100 And, um, so, but just being said, uh, I believe that kingdom people need 143 00:06:02.100 --> 00:06:08.420 to be cutting edge and should be cutting edge in terms of business, 144 00:06:08.460 --> 00:06:12.340 entrepreneurial technology, their career field, they should be excelling. 145 00:06:12.340 --> 00:06:16.700 They should be the ones that, um, are getting promoted because of their, 146 00:06:17.240 --> 00:06:20.600 their kingdom affiliation because of their character, because of their 147 00:06:20.600 --> 00:06:25.360 excellence and because they value, you know, a lot of good things. 148 00:06:25.640 --> 00:06:26.660 They value good input. 149 00:06:26.660 --> 00:06:33.240 So I believe that kingdom people can and should be above, uh, the rest of the 150 00:06:33.240 --> 00:06:38.920 crowd, just simply because of who they know, which is the maker and creator of 151 00:06:38.920 --> 00:06:41.960 the universe, you know, and it's good stuff. 152 00:06:42.440 --> 00:06:44.780 And we leverage influence that way. 153 00:06:44.780 --> 00:06:46.200 I believe that is biblical. 154 00:06:46.200 --> 00:06:47.580 I believe it is honorable. 155 00:06:48.500 --> 00:06:54.140 I believe it is heaven for us to influence spheres, wherever that is. 156 00:06:54.440 --> 00:06:58.920 You could be in, you know, the greatest father, you know, we all should be good 157 00:06:58.920 --> 00:07:01.580 fathers, um, fathers in the faith. 158 00:07:01.580 --> 00:07:03.420 We should be fathers of our own children. 159 00:07:03.420 --> 00:07:05.760 We should be a good fathers. 160 00:07:05.820 --> 00:07:11.380 Even if we don't have our own children, we should be men who have father 161 00:07:11.380 --> 00:07:16.340 characteristics that we see, you know, our sense of fatherhood, but you could 162 00:07:16.360 --> 00:07:17.660 be a really good family, ma'am. 163 00:07:18.180 --> 00:07:23.560 And you could be a guy who just has a nine to five regular career and, and 164 00:07:24.140 --> 00:07:26.100 you're affecting another generation. 165 00:07:26.100 --> 00:07:28.160 So it's not about station. 166 00:07:28.160 --> 00:07:31.060 It's not about like, Oh, being super successful or being super 167 00:07:31.060 --> 00:07:33.660 wealthy or being super well-known. 168 00:07:34.020 --> 00:07:39.520 It's about excelling in the space where God has you. 169 00:07:40.260 --> 00:07:45.800 It's about you taking your skillset and going, what has God given me? 170 00:07:46.560 --> 00:07:54.560 To develop, to increase, to invest in, in my time, money, and my energy in order 171 00:07:54.560 --> 00:08:00.700 to make more of what it is that God's given me to begin with, you know, and 172 00:08:00.700 --> 00:08:06.520 being a good steward of that and putting that to good use and leverage righteousness. 173 00:08:07.220 --> 00:08:10.440 That doesn't mean that you're, everybody has to be a preacher. 174 00:08:10.440 --> 00:08:13.860 It doesn't mean everybody has to be some sort of sage of wisdom. 175 00:08:13.860 --> 00:08:17.540 It doesn't mean that everybody has to be some CEO or, you know, 176 00:08:17.540 --> 00:08:19.220 some high government official. 177 00:08:19.860 --> 00:08:25.940 But we, when we are all excelling and doing our best and we are excelling at 178 00:08:25.940 --> 00:08:30.420 what God has given us, then, you know, we are affecting change, not only in our 179 00:08:30.420 --> 00:08:33.860 own lives, but in the world and the world around us. 180 00:08:34.980 --> 00:08:36.220 So I love that idea. 181 00:08:36.220 --> 00:08:37.820 So anyway, we can talk more about that. 182 00:08:38.620 --> 00:08:43.020 Either another call or another venue. 183 00:08:43.020 --> 00:08:50.220 So give me some feedback if that's kind of logic, kind of stuff is interesting to 184 00:08:50.220 --> 00:08:57.020 you, you know, give me some ideas as far as like what it is that we could talk 185 00:08:57.020 --> 00:09:01.540 about more in that space, by the way, the hundred X organization we're involved 186 00:09:01.540 --> 00:09:04.780 with is a kingdom entrepreneurial development. 187 00:09:05.380 --> 00:09:07.380 It's a community. 188 00:09:07.620 --> 00:09:08.780 It's a, it's a movement. 189 00:09:09.460 --> 00:09:11.340 And we found, we find our people there. 190 00:09:11.340 --> 00:09:15.420 So like a lot of individuals that are connected to last year, single for the 191 00:09:15.420 --> 00:09:19.580 purposes that they're connected to this movement and this community and getting 192 00:09:19.580 --> 00:09:26.300 the inspiration and the coaching and the sort of like getting the camaraderie 193 00:09:27.260 --> 00:09:32.300 that you guys get here, we get that from our hundred X community. 194 00:09:32.980 --> 00:09:36.860 So just so you know what, in terms of just kind of like what that means to us, 195 00:09:36.860 --> 00:09:41.100 it's like, it's like our, like our people, it's like our community, our, our 196 00:09:41.140 --> 00:09:44.300 group of believers that we're in life with and connecting with. 197 00:09:45.180 --> 00:09:46.420 So that's all I'll say about that. 198 00:09:46.420 --> 00:09:50.860 So if you're interested to talk about that more, reach out, put something in 199 00:09:50.860 --> 00:09:54.500 the chat there so I can just review the chat and just, we have information 200 00:09:54.500 --> 00:09:55.780 on what you're interested in. 201 00:09:56.140 --> 00:09:56.700 Anybody. 202 00:09:57.380 --> 00:09:59.500 Entrepreneurial like, um, 203 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:04.560 as in either you own your own business or like you are, um, 204 00:10:05.280 --> 00:10:09.680 I don't know why my hand just got raised. I didn't do that, but it's kind of 205 00:10:09.680 --> 00:10:10.520 weird. 206 00:10:11.160 --> 00:10:14.120 You're part only ownership of the rest of the business. 207 00:10:16.160 --> 00:10:18.280 You're voting for your own recommendation. I like it. 208 00:10:18.440 --> 00:10:20.520 Yeah. I have voting for myself. Um, 209 00:10:20.640 --> 00:10:23.720 anybody in the entrepreneurial space where you either have your own business, 210 00:10:23.720 --> 00:10:27.400 you're like a, you know, like you do multiple projects or whatever it is, 211 00:10:27.400 --> 00:10:29.560 you know, whatever, it's very broad term, right? 212 00:10:29.840 --> 00:10:32.560 But in that space or all career people, 213 00:10:35.160 --> 00:10:40.160 I don't know just one thing or the other. And again, 214 00:10:40.800 --> 00:10:45.040 one thing is not better than the other. Yeah. I had to discern Brian. 215 00:10:45.040 --> 00:10:48.720 I know you own your own business. Anybody else on their own business? 216 00:10:51.520 --> 00:10:54.680 No, really? No. I mean, I, um, 217 00:10:55.360 --> 00:10:58.320 I like writing not fiction novels, 218 00:10:58.320 --> 00:11:02.720 but I've never like actually tried to get them published because it's just like 219 00:11:03.320 --> 00:11:07.200 the money and also like the know-how to promote a book. 220 00:11:07.800 --> 00:11:08.640 Yeah. Okay. 221 00:11:09.040 --> 00:11:13.280 Also I invent board games, but again, I still haven't gotten any, um, 222 00:11:14.040 --> 00:11:15.880 I don't know how to do business. So. 223 00:11:16.520 --> 00:11:21.200 Okay. I figured I was pretty fascinating. I figured why, 224 00:11:21.400 --> 00:11:25.080 why bother when you work for a company who's going to do for who does, 225 00:11:25.120 --> 00:11:26.360 who's going to take care of you, 226 00:11:26.600 --> 00:11:29.040 but also you can learn the skills from that company. 227 00:11:29.040 --> 00:11:31.280 So you're going to start your own business. And I thought. 228 00:11:33.840 --> 00:11:35.800 Absolutely. And I believe that, I mean, 229 00:11:35.800 --> 00:11:40.000 I believe when I talk to groups of men, 230 00:11:41.120 --> 00:11:43.160 um, I talk about a concept that I, 231 00:11:43.160 --> 00:11:48.160 I believe like everybody has a business and some people are like, 232 00:11:48.680 --> 00:11:52.480 well, that I've never thought of myself as a business person or having my own 233 00:11:52.480 --> 00:11:55.760 business or having any idea that could be a business and that kind of thing. 234 00:11:56.280 --> 00:12:00.080 And when I say that everybody has a business, I mean, in the sense of like, 235 00:12:00.120 --> 00:12:03.240 you know, when you say mind your own business, you know, 236 00:12:03.600 --> 00:12:05.960 it is like you have a business. 237 00:12:06.480 --> 00:12:09.720 And what that is is everything that's God has given you. 238 00:12:09.720 --> 00:12:13.120 Like I was talking about earlier skillset ability, 239 00:12:13.120 --> 00:12:18.120 like all of us have a uniqueness about what we bring to the table. 240 00:12:18.840 --> 00:12:21.440 In the situations. And then when you're, when you're, 241 00:12:21.960 --> 00:12:23.680 when you're hitting on all cylinders, you know, 242 00:12:23.680 --> 00:12:27.760 you find yourself in a very sort of, um, 243 00:12:29.680 --> 00:12:32.000 uh, maybe a career oriented situation where you're working, 244 00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:35.440 you could be working for another company and you're really good at what you do 245 00:12:35.440 --> 00:12:39.280 and you're compensated well for it. That kind of thing. That's your business. 246 00:12:39.880 --> 00:12:42.720 That is your like expertise. That is your, like, 247 00:12:42.760 --> 00:12:47.280 I think we're all have the ability to be experts 248 00:12:47.840 --> 00:12:49.880 in our skillset. 249 00:12:50.800 --> 00:12:54.960 And a skillset isn't just a learned pattern of behavior. I mean, 250 00:12:55.000 --> 00:12:57.920 skillset is more, it's, it includes your character. 251 00:12:57.920 --> 00:13:02.080 It includes your wisdom and includes your, your personality. It includes, 252 00:13:02.080 --> 00:13:05.400 you know, like I said, everything that you have to bring to the table. 253 00:13:06.360 --> 00:13:10.320 And I think it's very powerful for us as believers, especially men. 254 00:13:11.680 --> 00:13:14.560 Um, you know, like I've said before, 255 00:13:14.840 --> 00:13:16.960 we're at our best when we're attending the garden. 256 00:13:18.960 --> 00:13:23.480 That's the biblical analogy of a man who was 257 00:13:23.480 --> 00:13:27.920 literally in his element, in his space. 258 00:13:28.160 --> 00:13:32.560 Adam was literally gifted with 259 00:13:32.880 --> 00:13:36.280 administration. You can put a whole bunch of words on it. You know, 260 00:13:36.280 --> 00:13:38.960 it's administration, his ability to create, 261 00:13:38.960 --> 00:13:43.960 his ability to organize his ability to perceive and to manage 262 00:13:44.000 --> 00:13:46.480 and all that. You can put a bunch of business terms on it, 263 00:13:46.480 --> 00:13:50.880 but Adam was literally minding his business 264 00:13:52.000 --> 00:13:54.920 when God looked at him and said, and he wasn't sitting on, 265 00:13:54.920 --> 00:13:57.080 I just want to give a stark reality. 266 00:13:57.080 --> 00:13:59.080 It wasn't literally like watching football, 267 00:13:59.080 --> 00:14:02.880 like being couch potato and being lazy and like, you know, playing video games, 268 00:14:03.120 --> 00:14:05.720 not that there's anything wrong with playing video games, 269 00:14:05.720 --> 00:14:08.640 watching football or eating chips on the couch. Right. 270 00:14:09.320 --> 00:14:12.800 But I'm just saying he was not like being his worst self. 271 00:14:12.840 --> 00:14:17.840 He was actually being his best self when God looked at him and said, 272 00:14:19.840 --> 00:14:22.520 this is not good. I'm like, what? 273 00:14:24.240 --> 00:14:27.880 How is the guy literally in his perfection, 274 00:14:27.880 --> 00:14:32.880 in his element with the anointing of God on him in his like heavenly state? 275 00:14:33.920 --> 00:14:38.360 And God looks at him and goes, yeah, this is not good. Like, what do you mean? 276 00:14:38.560 --> 00:14:40.400 Like, this is not good. 277 00:14:40.880 --> 00:14:44.120 This is when he introduces the concept of a helpmate, 278 00:14:44.880 --> 00:14:47.920 someone of his own kind, the, you know, 279 00:14:47.920 --> 00:14:52.000 the idea of producing the woman who came from the rich, all that, you know, 280 00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:53.000 we know the whole story. 281 00:14:53.880 --> 00:14:58.800 So I just think it was interesting that even in our best state, 282 00:14:59.360 --> 00:15:00.000 you know, God's 283 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:02.440 Looking at us like, you need to help me. 284 00:15:02.440 --> 00:15:07.300 You, you, you're going to be better when you are not only in your best 285 00:15:07.300 --> 00:15:11.420 skillset and your best state, but when you're attending the garden, not just 286 00:15:11.420 --> 00:15:17.100 for yourself, but for your family, the people around you, others you're in 287 00:15:17.100 --> 00:15:19.860 service to, you know, that kind of thing. 288 00:15:20.720 --> 00:15:23.320 And when you're laying down your life, your blood, sweat, and your 289 00:15:23.320 --> 00:15:29.880 tears to produce for you and your family and your offspring and your 290 00:15:29.880 --> 00:15:33.500 community and all that around you, whatever your sphere of influence is. 291 00:15:34.240 --> 00:15:35.660 That is powerful. 292 00:15:36.140 --> 00:15:37.600 That is attractive. 293 00:15:37.960 --> 00:15:43.000 That is, and that is changing the world that is stepping into your 294 00:15:43.000 --> 00:15:44.680 complete divine masculinity. 295 00:15:45.300 --> 00:15:48.400 And that's, what's tied to like what I've been talking about the last several 296 00:15:48.400 --> 00:15:54.600 weeks, talking about answering the question, what do you want and putting 297 00:15:54.600 --> 00:16:01.040 that constantly before you as the motivation to clarify what you should 298 00:16:01.040 --> 00:16:04.840 be doing, what you should be concentrating on, what you should be focusing on. 299 00:16:05.360 --> 00:16:07.080 So the question is, is what do you want? 300 00:16:07.320 --> 00:16:11.520 And then from that, we were saying, we want to make statements 301 00:16:11.960 --> 00:16:13.640 that are declarative statements. 302 00:16:13.640 --> 00:16:14.720 I am statements. 303 00:16:14.720 --> 00:16:21.320 I, I have, I, I am doing, this is, you know, like current present tense 304 00:16:21.320 --> 00:16:29.080 statements that articulate the focus of answering the question, what do you want? 305 00:16:30.680 --> 00:16:34.320 You know, I want to be financially independent. 306 00:16:34.840 --> 00:16:35.240 Okay. 307 00:16:35.560 --> 00:16:36.520 So that's what you want. 308 00:16:36.520 --> 00:16:37.480 You D you'd clear it. 309 00:16:37.480 --> 00:16:39.720 So what's a declarative statement that you can make? 310 00:16:39.720 --> 00:16:44.240 This is, I make this much money, or I have this much money in the bank, or I 311 00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:47.280 invest this much money because I have it to invest, you know what I'm saying? 312 00:16:47.560 --> 00:16:51.760 So those declarative statements that we're focused on, that's why I've been 313 00:16:51.760 --> 00:16:58.760 having you do that because I want each one of you to, you know, get into a state 314 00:16:58.760 --> 00:17:00.800 of mind where you're focusing on. 315 00:17:01.880 --> 00:17:04.400 This is, I'm becoming the best of me. 316 00:17:05.200 --> 00:17:07.599 I'm becoming the best version of myself. 317 00:17:08.720 --> 00:17:11.119 And, um, a little funny thing. 318 00:17:11.119 --> 00:17:13.960 I was going to play it for you tonight and I still will, if I can, but, 319 00:17:13.960 --> 00:17:20.040 um, I saw two, um, I'm trying to figure out, I should have figured out 320 00:17:20.079 --> 00:17:25.560 technologically how I could do this, but, um, I saw two, uh, Instagram 321 00:17:25.560 --> 00:17:28.640 reels today that were absolutely hilarious. 322 00:17:29.520 --> 00:17:36.120 And it just kind of showed, um, the masculine and feminine, um, is a sort 323 00:17:36.120 --> 00:17:38.040 of an extreme example of how they're doing. 324 00:17:38.040 --> 00:17:39.800 I shouldn't mention this, but I'm not going to show it. 325 00:17:40.200 --> 00:17:42.520 I mean, let me see if I can figure out how to show that here. 326 00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:50.080 Uh, but anyway, I'm tracking on this because I, I want you to understand 327 00:17:50.080 --> 00:17:56.760 that even in relationship, even in a state, you know, fast forward, you're 328 00:17:56.760 --> 00:18:01.280 married, okay, you're in relationship and you are with the love of your life. 329 00:18:02.080 --> 00:18:07.040 Um, and you're going to encounter life issues. 330 00:18:07.080 --> 00:18:11.200 You're going to encounter relational difficulties because that's just what 331 00:18:11.440 --> 00:18:13.160 the nature of relationship is. 332 00:18:13.480 --> 00:18:18.320 Any relationship that you've had, you can point to good, bad, or indifferent. 333 00:18:19.120 --> 00:18:22.400 However, you're framing that has had its ups and its downs, right? 334 00:18:23.000 --> 00:18:28.000 The same is going to be true of a romantic love, ultimate man and woman 335 00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:29.600 relationship, marriage relationship. 336 00:18:30.520 --> 00:18:37.200 And when that happens, um, we don't want to necessarily talk about like, 337 00:18:37.200 --> 00:18:38.640 Oh, being on the verge of divorce. 338 00:18:38.800 --> 00:18:45.240 But I will tell you that the best people that are coaching people in situations 339 00:18:45.240 --> 00:18:48.760 where they actually are going through a divorce because they've been married 340 00:18:48.760 --> 00:18:55.200 for a time and they've come to a point of irreconciliation, meaning one or the 341 00:18:55.200 --> 00:18:59.680 other or both have decided that this is not working out and they're on the verge 342 00:18:59.680 --> 00:19:06.320 of divorce for men, the recommend the, the sometimes the feeling is, is that, 343 00:19:06.320 --> 00:19:09.880 Oh, I've got to change because that's kind of like typical of what happens. 344 00:19:09.880 --> 00:19:12.360 It's like, Oh, you know, the woman's like, Oh, you need to be better. 345 00:19:12.360 --> 00:19:13.120 You need to be this. 346 00:19:13.120 --> 00:19:14.200 You need to be that whatever. 347 00:19:14.200 --> 00:19:14.800 And trying to meet. 348 00:19:14.880 --> 00:19:16.320 So the man then goes into that. 349 00:19:16.320 --> 00:19:17.720 So like, Oh, I'm going to be it. 350 00:19:17.720 --> 00:19:18.520 I'm going to do that. 351 00:19:18.520 --> 00:19:21.320 I'm going to become what you always want to be, to be like, I'm going to do that 352 00:19:21.320 --> 00:19:25.040 in like, you know, a week when you've been, you know, doing it, missing the 353 00:19:25.040 --> 00:19:28.880 mark, so to speak, you know, for like 17 years, but all of a sudden you're 354 00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:30.960 going to do this in a month or a week or whatever, right? 355 00:19:31.200 --> 00:19:38.480 It's like, it's not realistic because, um, quite honestly, when you start doing 356 00:19:38.480 --> 00:19:43.840 it for her or start to change, you know, for the right reasons or get your act 357 00:19:43.840 --> 00:19:49.400 together, so to speak or whatever, that's like the worst motivation and the worst. 358 00:19:49.920 --> 00:19:52.400 Strategy to try to save your marriage. 359 00:19:53.640 --> 00:19:57.000 And you're like, why are you talking to a bunch of guys who aren't married yet 360 00:19:57.000 --> 00:19:58.560 about like saving your marriage? 361 00:19:58.560 --> 00:20:00.000 Well, because there's. 362 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:06.880 mentality that goes in line with achieving what it is that you want and achieving your best self 363 00:20:07.520 --> 00:20:13.600 that goes right along with literally saving your marriage and saving it before it even starts. 364 00:20:14.880 --> 00:20:21.840 Which is the strategy when a man is losing his marriage, whether it's his fault or not, 365 00:20:21.840 --> 00:20:26.080 and really doesn't really matter whose fault because it's both people's fault to begin with, 366 00:20:26.080 --> 00:20:31.920 I can tell you that. I looked great on paper in the context in which I was living. I was 367 00:20:31.920 --> 00:20:35.840 in ministry and I looked right. I looked in the context of my community and the people 368 00:20:35.840 --> 00:20:40.160 that are surrounding my family. I looked like I didn't do anything wrong, yet I was getting 369 00:20:40.160 --> 00:20:45.680 divorced and it was inevitable. There wasn't anything I could do about it, right? I looked 370 00:20:45.680 --> 00:20:52.400 like the good guy. She looked like, you know, the wandering whatever. And so on paper, I look good. 371 00:20:52.400 --> 00:20:58.880 But the reality was, was that I was failing in my marriage. I was failing as a husband. I was 372 00:20:58.880 --> 00:21:06.960 failing as a partner. I was failing in so many areas. Why? What was the evidence of that? Because 373 00:21:06.960 --> 00:21:16.000 I was losing my marriage. Hello? I was being completely fulfilled in my ministry skillset. 374 00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:26.080 I was okay, but I was, she was not okay. Right? Now I'm not saying that if I just did all the 375 00:21:26.080 --> 00:21:32.400 right things that I would have saved my marriage, I might've still got divorced. But the recommendation 376 00:21:32.400 --> 00:21:40.560 is this, instead of trying to save your marriage, instead of trying to go after the woman and 377 00:21:40.560 --> 00:21:45.680 please her and do all the things that she wants you to do because you're so deficient or whatever, 378 00:21:46.480 --> 00:21:56.400 instead of trying to be something that you're not, right? Maybe she wants you to be more spiritual. 379 00:21:56.400 --> 00:22:00.320 And so, Oh, I'm going to get real spiritual now. And you're just not like, dude, I'm not that 380 00:22:00.320 --> 00:22:05.920 churchy guy. I'm just not, I love God maybe, or, you know, I'm okay with Jesus and everything, 381 00:22:05.920 --> 00:22:10.400 but I'm just not a deeply spiritual dude. And so you want me to be all like churchy now, 382 00:22:10.400 --> 00:22:15.040 just so that I can put on a front to please you. Okay. So trying to even be something that you're 383 00:22:15.040 --> 00:22:25.920 not, that doesn't help. So the best advice for you to save your marriage is for you, the man 384 00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:38.960 to literally be the best man that you can be not for her, but be the best man or virtue, 385 00:22:39.680 --> 00:22:47.200 physicality, where you go, you go into yourself and you work on yourself. 386 00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:53.920 You forget about chasing her. You forget about trying to romanticize 387 00:22:55.040 --> 00:23:01.840 and be romantic to win her affection. You forget about trying to be something that you're not. 388 00:23:02.560 --> 00:23:09.840 And you go deep digging down into yourself and you literally begin to start manifesting 389 00:23:09.840 --> 00:23:16.960 the best version of you and whether that's, you're going to go hard into your career. 390 00:23:16.960 --> 00:23:19.600 Maybe you're successful in your career. So maybe it's not the career thing. Maybe it's 391 00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:26.640 your physical, physical fitness, your health. Maybe it's your mental wellbeing. 392 00:23:27.600 --> 00:23:33.440 Maybe it's a deep sense of spiritual resolve and commitment that you're like, you know what? 393 00:23:33.440 --> 00:23:40.960 I'm better than this. Maybe it's curbing some behavior that's being destructive in your life. 394 00:23:41.840 --> 00:23:49.200 And you're like, this is not me. This is the best version of myself. I'm going to step into that. 395 00:23:50.960 --> 00:23:55.600 So this is kind of like, I'm just kind of getting, I'm exhorting you tonight because 396 00:23:55.680 --> 00:24:01.440 I'm just kind of just going on with this theme again. This is sort of a constant rehearsal in 397 00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:10.640 my head and in my life of like what I'm trying to endeavor and go after all the time. So it never 398 00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:18.320 stops. It's real important to understand that this is a lifelong pursuit, whether you're single 399 00:24:19.200 --> 00:24:27.280 or whether you're married to the love of your life or beyond. This is the pursuit 400 00:24:28.160 --> 00:24:36.080 of men and especially godly men who literally want to affect change, have a good life. 401 00:24:37.200 --> 00:24:44.960 You want to do good. You want to change the world. I get it. I'm not extremely ambitious 402 00:24:45.600 --> 00:24:52.880 at all. I'm not like this guy who's like, oh, type a stereotype. I'm not this guy that's like, 403 00:24:52.880 --> 00:24:56.720 oh, I want to go change the world. I'm going to do this. And I want to leave a mark on this. 404 00:24:56.720 --> 00:24:58.720 I'm not that guy. Right? 405 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.440 I think if you've met me or if you talk to me long enough, you understand I'm really not that 406 00:25:03.440 --> 00:25:07.920 type of an individual. So that's not really the speech that I'm even giving tonight. I'm not 407 00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:12.800 trying to say you got to be a world changer and you got to be this and you got to be like, you 408 00:25:12.800 --> 00:25:23.360 know, all that you can be. I'm literally saying, no, just be all that you can be. Not all of what 409 00:25:23.360 --> 00:25:32.320 you perceive somebody else to be that you like admire or you like, oh, you know, I'm not that 410 00:25:32.320 --> 00:25:41.280 guy. Exactly. You are not that guy. You are not somebody else. You are Daniel. You are Mike. You 411 00:25:41.280 --> 00:25:47.440 are Andy. You are Hunter. You are John. You are Steven. You are Paul. You are Danny. You are Josh. 412 00:25:47.440 --> 00:25:57.200 You are DJ. That's who you are. You are Brian. That's who you are. You are that person. 413 00:25:59.440 --> 00:26:12.080 And if you are uncomfortable or if you have some feeling of detriment towards who you are, 414 00:26:12.080 --> 00:26:19.120 who you think you are, there's good news that can change. 415 00:26:21.600 --> 00:26:27.040 And the good news is that you're pretty good for who you are. 416 00:26:28.800 --> 00:26:37.120 On one hand, I just heard a message the other last weekend by Will Hart is really good. 417 00:26:38.080 --> 00:26:43.360 And part of it and one part of he said, you know, when you're at your worst, when you're, 418 00:26:43.360 --> 00:26:48.560 when you're, when you're a believer and you're journeying and then you're at your worst, 419 00:26:50.560 --> 00:26:58.720 worst behavior, your lowest moment, when you are at, you know, the, the, a low point in your 420 00:26:58.720 --> 00:27:02.080 life where you're like, man, this really sucks right now because of what I'm going through. 421 00:27:03.040 --> 00:27:07.520 You know, when you're going through something, you can always blame it. Like, well, I'm going 422 00:27:07.520 --> 00:27:13.440 through something. Sometimes it's, it's you that's made the mess and then you can't blame 423 00:27:13.440 --> 00:27:18.560 anybody else. You're like, oh yeah, it's me. But when you're going through the lowest moment of 424 00:27:18.560 --> 00:27:31.520 your life, Jesus is closer to you in those times in the valley. And he says, no, you're in your 425 00:27:32.240 --> 00:27:40.320 you're in the perfect place. You're in the perfect spot. You're right exactly where I want you to be. 426 00:27:41.120 --> 00:27:47.440 You're like, how can you say that? How can you say if I'm in the worst, like I'm in the worst 427 00:27:47.440 --> 00:27:54.480 sin or the worst place or the worst state of mind, how can you say that that's perfectly where I 428 00:27:54.480 --> 00:28:04.640 should be? One way is, is because life is valleys and mountains and valleys and mountains and 429 00:28:04.640 --> 00:28:13.200 valleys, but that's just life is. It is part of life. But if you have never fought the war, 430 00:28:15.280 --> 00:28:18.640 you'll never be able to have the testimony that you won the war. 431 00:28:19.520 --> 00:28:26.000 If you never went through something to overcome it, you can never say that you overcame this. 432 00:28:28.000 --> 00:28:35.680 If you never have the difficulty that you've been through, then you can never say I've been through 433 00:28:35.680 --> 00:28:44.480 it. Does that make sense? So there's purpose in all of this. We sort of understand that, 434 00:28:44.480 --> 00:28:51.760 but at the same time, we don't feel like it's our best. We feel like a failure. We feel like 435 00:28:51.760 --> 00:28:56.560 all the negative things, right? We feel like we didn't do the right thing at the lowest point 436 00:28:56.560 --> 00:29:03.040 of my life. When I was going through my divorce, um, that was happening to me. I felt like the most 437 00:29:03.840 --> 00:29:13.600 miserable failure because I was failing, but at the same time, I can speak from a place 438 00:29:13.760 --> 00:29:19.040 of understanding having gone through that situation. I've told this story before. I was 439 00:29:19.040 --> 00:29:26.320 talking with a mentor me, uh, that was, um, a believer, you know, like a, a, a business leader 440 00:29:27.520 --> 00:29:31.360 and about two years before I went through my divorce. And he literally asked me just, 441 00:29:31.360 --> 00:29:34.720 I was going on and on and on about something. And I was talking to him, trying to get some advice. 442 00:29:35.520 --> 00:29:38.880 And he literally said to me, just stop me. He says, Hey, have you ever failed before? And I'm 443 00:29:39.840 --> 00:29:44.880 like, what do you mean? Have I ever failed? Of course I failed before he goes, no, no, no, 444 00:29:44.880 --> 00:29:51.280 no, no. I mean, like, have you ever failed miserably? I'm like, well, yeah, I don't know. 445 00:29:51.280 --> 00:29:58.000 Maybe he goes like, no. I mean, have you ever literally just failed in your life where like 446 00:29:58.000 --> 00:29:59.840 the people around you that know you, like you're. 447 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.480 your family, the people that you care about the most 448 00:30:02.480 --> 00:30:03.560 are just looking at you like, 449 00:30:03.560 --> 00:30:04.600 they don't even wanna look at you 450 00:30:04.600 --> 00:30:07.880 because it's like, oh my God, this guy's losing it. 451 00:30:07.880 --> 00:30:09.480 This is not good. 452 00:30:09.480 --> 00:30:12.560 Like, and they're embarrassed for you. 453 00:30:12.560 --> 00:30:15.800 And they're like, oh, I don't know what's happening to, 454 00:30:15.800 --> 00:30:16.880 have you seen so-and-so? 455 00:30:16.880 --> 00:30:19.860 Like, oh man, David is just like, 456 00:30:19.860 --> 00:30:22.000 I don't even know what to say. 457 00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:23.480 Have you ever had that kind of, 458 00:30:23.480 --> 00:30:27.320 and I'm like, oh, I don't think I've ever failed like that. 459 00:30:27.320 --> 00:30:29.920 And he was basically like going, yeah, well, 460 00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:32.120 once that happens, and I'm like, wait a minute, 461 00:30:32.120 --> 00:30:33.520 what do you mean once that happens? 462 00:30:33.520 --> 00:30:35.840 He goes, because it's gonna happen. 463 00:30:35.840 --> 00:30:36.680 I'm like, really? 464 00:30:36.680 --> 00:30:37.880 He's like, yeah, it's just gonna happen. 465 00:30:37.880 --> 00:30:39.520 He goes, and then he proceeded to tell me 466 00:30:39.520 --> 00:30:41.680 how he lost his fortune twice. 467 00:30:41.680 --> 00:30:44.280 And he literally had to build back his fortune twice 468 00:30:44.280 --> 00:30:46.120 because it got stolen from him one time 469 00:30:46.120 --> 00:30:51.120 and he lost it in another time in a bad business deal. 470 00:30:51.400 --> 00:30:52.880 And he goes, yeah, I had to get my fortune back. 471 00:30:52.880 --> 00:30:55.720 I couldn't pay for my rent, foreclosed on my house 472 00:30:55.720 --> 00:30:58.240 and blah, blah, blah, went bankruptcy and all this stuff. 473 00:30:58.240 --> 00:31:00.600 And I'm like, oh my God, that's terrible. 474 00:31:00.600 --> 00:31:02.960 He goes, yeah, you're gonna go through something like that. 475 00:31:02.960 --> 00:31:03.800 And I'm like, really? 476 00:31:03.800 --> 00:31:05.480 And he goes, yeah, and when you do, 477 00:31:05.480 --> 00:31:07.600 then come back and talk to me. 478 00:31:07.600 --> 00:31:10.160 And I'm like, whoa, bro, that's like, 479 00:31:10.160 --> 00:31:13.320 this is the advice I'm giving from a mentor? 480 00:31:14.440 --> 00:31:16.160 He's like, yeah. 481 00:31:16.160 --> 00:31:18.360 So basically he's just basically telling me like, 482 00:31:18.360 --> 00:31:21.320 you don't know anything until you've gone through something 483 00:31:23.040 --> 00:31:25.600 in a certain manner of speaking. 484 00:31:25.600 --> 00:31:30.600 And I'm like, wow, that is some hard, 485 00:31:30.760 --> 00:31:34.040 that's a hard saying, who can hear it, right? 486 00:31:34.040 --> 00:31:34.920 That's a biblical. 487 00:31:34.920 --> 00:31:37.160 This is a hard saying, who can hear this? 488 00:31:37.160 --> 00:31:38.280 Who can receive this? 489 00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:43.360 So it is not about if guys, 490 00:31:43.360 --> 00:31:45.560 you're gonna go through something, it's about when. 491 00:31:45.560 --> 00:31:48.400 And some of you have, and some of you are, 492 00:31:48.400 --> 00:31:50.240 and some of you will, 493 00:31:50.240 --> 00:31:53.680 and some of you have gone through a measure of it 494 00:31:53.680 --> 00:31:55.920 and maybe will go through something else. 495 00:31:55.920 --> 00:31:57.160 But I'm telling you what, 496 00:31:59.120 --> 00:32:03.560 if you will continue to focus on what it is that you want, 497 00:32:03.560 --> 00:32:05.960 and you have that focus of who you really are, 498 00:32:07.600 --> 00:32:10.080 you'll go through that, you'll recover. 499 00:32:10.920 --> 00:32:14.400 Like my dad said to me, who was himself also divorced 500 00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:15.800 at one point in his life in the past, 501 00:32:15.800 --> 00:32:17.840 when I was going through my divorce, 502 00:32:17.840 --> 00:32:20.600 he was like, the only thing I can tell you 503 00:32:20.600 --> 00:32:21.920 is I can tell you a lot of things, 504 00:32:21.920 --> 00:32:24.040 but the only thing that really makes sense right now 505 00:32:24.040 --> 00:32:26.960 is that it won't always be this way. 506 00:32:28.800 --> 00:32:31.960 And I'm like, wow, that's profound. 507 00:32:33.240 --> 00:32:35.760 I know you feel what you feel right now. 508 00:32:35.760 --> 00:32:37.600 I know you see it as such. 509 00:32:38.560 --> 00:32:41.440 I know you see yourself as single 510 00:32:41.440 --> 00:32:42.600 and there's no prospects. 511 00:32:42.600 --> 00:32:43.960 Like I'm talking to you guys now. 512 00:32:43.960 --> 00:32:45.520 I know you see yourself as single 513 00:32:45.520 --> 00:32:48.720 and you said there's no prospects for romance 514 00:32:48.720 --> 00:32:51.280 or for relationship or marriage. 515 00:32:52.160 --> 00:32:53.760 But it won't always be this way. 516 00:32:55.520 --> 00:32:59.240 It won't always, you won't always be 517 00:32:59.240 --> 00:33:04.200 in the state that you're in, in the deficient state, 518 00:33:04.200 --> 00:33:06.440 whatever that part of your life is right now. 519 00:33:07.880 --> 00:33:09.280 It won't always be this way. 520 00:33:10.320 --> 00:33:13.280 There'll be a breakthrough, there'll be a turn, 521 00:33:13.280 --> 00:33:16.080 there'll be a shining, there'll be a sunrise. 522 00:33:17.320 --> 00:33:20.520 And you will feel more confident 523 00:33:20.520 --> 00:33:22.680 and better about your life in whatever area 524 00:33:22.680 --> 00:33:24.560 you feel like is deficient right now. 525 00:33:27.400 --> 00:33:32.400 But the more that you can focus on, 526 00:33:32.760 --> 00:33:34.600 I was talking with a guy 527 00:33:34.600 --> 00:33:36.480 that's in our community earlier today. 528 00:33:37.640 --> 00:33:39.480 And he was like, yeah, I've just come to the point 529 00:33:39.480 --> 00:33:41.240 where I'm just like, I'm just no longer, 530 00:33:41.240 --> 00:33:43.320 I'm just ready to not be single anymore. 531 00:33:43.320 --> 00:33:45.840 I'm ready to actually have that life partner. 532 00:33:45.840 --> 00:33:48.840 Because I realized that I have been 533 00:33:48.840 --> 00:33:51.680 just doing everything for everybody else. 534 00:33:54.960 --> 00:33:56.880 And he goes, and now it's time for me. 535 00:33:58.080 --> 00:33:59.760 I'm like, yes, that's right. 536 00:34:01.800 --> 00:34:03.120 And so many of them are saying, well, wait a minute, 537 00:34:03.120 --> 00:34:04.760 that kind of sounds selfish. 538 00:34:04.760 --> 00:34:06.360 Time for me? 539 00:34:06.360 --> 00:34:07.960 No, it's not selfish. 540 00:34:07.960 --> 00:34:09.600 Because what he was saying was, 541 00:34:09.600 --> 00:34:12.480 is he was to the point where like, look, 542 00:34:13.560 --> 00:34:16.120 and this guy's successful, this guy's wealthy, 543 00:34:16.120 --> 00:34:20.679 this guy has resources, has a lucrative career, 544 00:34:20.679 --> 00:34:24.000 he's handsome, he's got a lot of things, 545 00:34:24.000 --> 00:34:26.280 he travels, he goes places, 546 00:34:26.280 --> 00:34:27.639 he's got a lot of things going for him. 547 00:34:27.639 --> 00:34:30.639 He's very eligible bachelor. 548 00:34:32.679 --> 00:34:36.639 But what he was telling me in that it was me time, 549 00:34:36.639 --> 00:34:40.560 he says, I am now ready to focus on 550 00:34:40.560 --> 00:34:43.719 what I need to change in me, 551 00:34:43.719 --> 00:34:45.719 the revelations that I need to have. 552 00:34:46.480 --> 00:34:49.159 So for him, maybe it wasn't necessarily his health 553 00:34:49.159 --> 00:34:51.480 or his physicality or his career or his wealth, 554 00:34:51.480 --> 00:34:53.520 but maybe it was the spiritual 555 00:34:53.520 --> 00:34:54.920 and maybe it was the mental 556 00:34:54.920 --> 00:34:56.960 and maybe it was the heart, 557 00:34:56.960 --> 00:34:58.960 matters of the heart for him. 558 00:34:59.840 --> 00:35:00.680 So. 559 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.100 Now, as he's going through his heart work, 560 00:35:03.060 --> 00:35:06.800 he's literally focusing on the best version of him, 561 00:35:08.460 --> 00:35:09.860 which then becomes what? 562 00:35:10.860 --> 00:35:15.720 The most attractive version of him. 563 00:35:16.600 --> 00:35:20.460 And I believe you me, when he does this, 564 00:35:20.460 --> 00:35:22.600 as you guys are doing this, 565 00:35:24.800 --> 00:35:27.440 things begin to change, things begin to shift. 566 00:35:28.440 --> 00:35:29.700 You meet the person, you're like, 567 00:35:29.700 --> 00:35:32.000 wait a minute, where did this person come from? 568 00:35:33.000 --> 00:35:35.840 Who's this person I've known for 10 years 569 00:35:35.840 --> 00:35:37.280 and I never saw them this way? 570 00:35:38.300 --> 00:35:39.640 Where did this person, like, 571 00:35:39.640 --> 00:35:42.180 how did this person move into proximity with me? 572 00:35:42.180 --> 00:35:44.400 My town only has 300 people in it. 573 00:35:45.340 --> 00:35:50.340 And 301 just moved in and it's the one, or whatever. 574 00:35:51.600 --> 00:35:53.140 Whatever the circumstance may be 575 00:35:53.140 --> 00:35:54.940 that you think is so insurmountable, 576 00:35:54.940 --> 00:35:59.940 it begins to shift and the horizon begins to change. 577 00:36:05.040 --> 00:36:07.340 You experience and view and understand 578 00:36:07.340 --> 00:36:09.780 and know things and they're different. 579 00:36:09.780 --> 00:36:13.380 When you make the resolve to say, you know what? 580 00:36:13.380 --> 00:36:16.000 That's it, I'm gonna be the best me. 581 00:36:17.540 --> 00:36:20.280 I'm gonna start pursuing the things 582 00:36:20.280 --> 00:36:23.300 that I've always wanted to either fix about myself, 583 00:36:23.300 --> 00:36:26.960 or didn't like about myself, not just vanity. 584 00:36:26.960 --> 00:36:29.140 I mean, it could be some of that, 585 00:36:29.140 --> 00:36:31.100 but it's not just vanity. 586 00:36:31.100 --> 00:36:32.800 There are things like everybody knows, 587 00:36:32.800 --> 00:36:36.400 like, look, people don't just talk about sin. 588 00:36:36.400 --> 00:36:39.940 Like, look, you don't gotta tell me what my problems are. 589 00:36:39.940 --> 00:36:42.760 I'm very familiar with my problems. 590 00:36:42.760 --> 00:36:45.600 How many of you are very familiar with your problems? 591 00:36:45.600 --> 00:36:46.440 Raise your hand. 592 00:36:46.440 --> 00:36:47.260 Like, yeah, that's me. 593 00:36:47.260 --> 00:36:48.540 Like, yo, I bro, I know. 594 00:36:48.540 --> 00:36:52.440 You don't gotta tell me, I know me, right? 595 00:36:52.440 --> 00:36:53.940 So I'm talking to that very thing, 596 00:36:53.940 --> 00:36:55.800 that one thing that you're like, dude, 597 00:36:55.800 --> 00:36:57.740 I wish I didn't do that. 598 00:36:57.740 --> 00:36:59.700 I wish that wasn't part of who I was. 599 00:36:59.700 --> 00:37:02.040 I wish I didn't think that way, you know? 600 00:37:02.040 --> 00:37:03.880 I wish I didn't react that way. 601 00:37:04.940 --> 00:37:07.980 That's the thing that you're like, you know what? 602 00:37:07.980 --> 00:37:09.640 I'm not gonna do that any longer. 603 00:37:10.900 --> 00:37:13.480 I'm not gonna behave that way any longer. 604 00:37:14.580 --> 00:37:17.540 I'm not gonna go there anymore. 605 00:37:18.900 --> 00:37:21.600 I'm starting to do me. 606 00:37:23.400 --> 00:37:26.080 And again, not from a selfish standpoint, 607 00:37:26.080 --> 00:37:29.280 but from like, what is the best version of me? 608 00:37:30.600 --> 00:37:32.940 And some of you may not even know yourself that well 609 00:37:32.940 --> 00:37:36.280 to even, like, you've just been so going, going, going, 610 00:37:36.280 --> 00:37:38.700 or being used, used, used, and being like, you know, 611 00:37:38.700 --> 00:37:41.680 give, give, give, that you don't even know yourself. 612 00:37:41.680 --> 00:37:43.280 This is the opportunity where you're like, 613 00:37:43.280 --> 00:37:47.680 okay, I'm gonna become, I'm gonna begin to know myself. 614 00:37:48.680 --> 00:37:52.920 So your declaration might be, okay, I now know who I am. 615 00:37:54.120 --> 00:37:56.880 I am this, this, this. 616 00:37:56.880 --> 00:37:58.880 I am that. 617 00:37:58.880 --> 00:38:00.020 I am. 618 00:38:00.020 --> 00:38:02.880 And then you start rehearsing those powerful statements 619 00:38:04.420 --> 00:38:08.220 and having those statements backed up by action, 620 00:38:09.080 --> 00:38:10.220 massive action. 621 00:38:12.180 --> 00:38:16.320 For some, it's like, just join a gym, you know? 622 00:38:16.760 --> 00:38:17.660 You know? 623 00:38:17.660 --> 00:38:18.820 I'm just throwing that out there. 624 00:38:18.820 --> 00:38:19.960 It's just kind of easy things. 625 00:38:19.960 --> 00:38:22.160 Like some of you, it's just change your diet. 626 00:38:24.380 --> 00:38:26.880 For some people, it's, you know, 627 00:38:27.720 --> 00:38:30.620 get a job that's not McDonald's. 628 00:38:32.460 --> 00:38:33.860 You know what I'm saying? 629 00:38:33.860 --> 00:38:36.020 Like, I mean, I don't know if I'm speaking to anybody 630 00:38:36.020 --> 00:38:38.320 directly, I'm not trying to like speak to anybody direct, 631 00:38:38.320 --> 00:38:41.120 but I'm just giving you simple examples to say like, 632 00:38:41.120 --> 00:38:42.580 sometimes it's just a shift. 633 00:38:42.580 --> 00:38:45.520 Sometimes it's just a make up your mind 634 00:38:46.560 --> 00:38:48.580 and this is what's going to be different. 635 00:38:50.380 --> 00:38:51.220 Right? 636 00:38:52.220 --> 00:38:54.020 Maybe it's, I'm not going to waste 637 00:38:55.320 --> 00:38:57.380 two, three, four hours of my day 638 00:38:58.920 --> 00:39:01.220 in whatever you're wasting your day on. 639 00:39:01.220 --> 00:39:02.060 You're like, you know what? 640 00:39:02.060 --> 00:39:03.620 It's a time suck. 641 00:39:03.620 --> 00:39:04.760 That's not productive. 642 00:39:04.760 --> 00:39:05.760 It's not lucrative. 643 00:39:06.680 --> 00:39:11.380 It's not put, it not, it's not advancing me anywhere 644 00:39:11.380 --> 00:39:12.220 to do this. 645 00:39:12.220 --> 00:39:13.920 So I'm not going to spend my time doing that anymore. 646 00:39:13.920 --> 00:39:15.660 Or I'm just going to limit my time. 647 00:39:16.720 --> 00:39:18.380 I used to do that for two, three hours a day. 648 00:39:18.380 --> 00:39:20.520 I'm going to do it for only an hour a day. 649 00:39:22.620 --> 00:39:25.420 And try to make the other two hours 650 00:39:25.420 --> 00:39:27.180 that I'm giving up constructive, 651 00:39:27.180 --> 00:39:30.160 doing something that's productive, 652 00:39:30.160 --> 00:39:33.320 educational, inspirational. 653 00:39:33.320 --> 00:39:35.880 I'm going to, as we started out 654 00:39:35.880 --> 00:39:36.960 the beginning of this conversation, 655 00:39:36.960 --> 00:39:40.120 I'm going to speed up my Audible 656 00:39:40.120 --> 00:39:42.320 so that I can learn more faster. 657 00:39:42.320 --> 00:39:43.160 I don't know. 658 00:39:43.160 --> 00:39:45.160 I'm just making a joke out of that because I don't know. 659 00:39:45.220 --> 00:39:47.560 I just want to make sure everybody's listening. 660 00:39:47.560 --> 00:39:48.560 Let's speed up my Audible 661 00:39:48.560 --> 00:39:49.760 because I'm going to make it faster. 662 00:39:49.760 --> 00:39:51.100 I'm going to only, you know, 663 00:39:51.100 --> 00:39:53.700 listen to a quarter of the book and learn more 664 00:39:53.700 --> 00:39:56.800 and, you know, listen to six books instead of three. 665 00:39:56.800 --> 00:39:57.620 I don't know. 666 00:39:57.620 --> 00:39:58.460 I'm just playing. 667 00:39:58.460 --> 00:39:59.300 I don't know. 668 00:39:59.300 --> 00:40:00.120 But whatever. 669 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.720 it is that you're going to maximize and leverage to make the change in your life 670 00:40:06.800 --> 00:40:14.880 is what you're going to do starting today, tomorrow morning, whatever it takes. 671 00:40:16.960 --> 00:40:25.680 Maybe it's just getting up an hour earlier than what you normally do because you understand that 672 00:40:26.320 --> 00:40:30.720 there's something about getting up earlier that gives a better start to your day. 673 00:40:31.760 --> 00:40:36.960 Maybe it's just managing your day well. There's so many different things. I don't want to give 674 00:40:36.960 --> 00:40:41.200 you too many things because I don't want you to get overwhelmed by, oh, he said 15 different 675 00:40:41.200 --> 00:40:45.600 things that I've got to do. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do 15 things. 676 00:40:45.680 --> 00:41:00.640 Do not do 15 things. Just do one. Just do one. Choose one, fixate on it, 677 00:41:03.440 --> 00:41:06.240 and allow it to produce massive change in your life. 678 00:41:08.560 --> 00:41:11.760 When that change comes, then move on to something else. 679 00:41:11.760 --> 00:41:22.560 It's pretty simple. Guys, I'm speaking to myself tonight too. I'm literally preaching 680 00:41:22.560 --> 00:41:31.120 to myself tonight. I'm like, yes, I need to do this. I know what they are. I know the list. 681 00:41:32.960 --> 00:41:39.520 I am going to try. I'm going to try again. I'm going to retry. That's part of what the question, 682 00:41:39.520 --> 00:41:45.040 having the question before you is all about too because many of you have been to this point in 683 00:41:45.040 --> 00:41:48.800 your life and you tried different things. You're like, yeah, that didn't last. It didn't work, 684 00:41:48.800 --> 00:41:52.800 whatever, all the different excuses. It doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter if it didn't 685 00:41:52.800 --> 00:41:56.400 work. It doesn't matter if it didn't last. It doesn't matter if you tried it a thousand times. 686 00:41:56.480 --> 00:42:02.480 You have to not stop trying. Does that make sense? 687 00:42:04.800 --> 00:42:12.240 Don't stop. Get up every day. I sucked today. I'm going to do better tomorrow. 688 00:42:13.040 --> 00:42:20.160 I sucked today. I'm going to do it again tomorrow. Seriously. The better you do that, 689 00:42:20.160 --> 00:42:25.760 the more you do that, you can't help but literally change your life for the better. 690 00:42:26.880 --> 00:42:34.240 And step into the best version of you, which is attractive, handsome, sexy, 691 00:42:34.880 --> 00:42:40.240 which is like irresistible. You want to be irresistible, be the best version of yourself 692 00:42:42.320 --> 00:42:50.240 and walk down the street. Like I am irresistible. Literally. Like there's so many people that want 693 00:42:50.240 --> 00:42:53.920 to connect with me. There's so many women that want to like, have my attention to like, wonder 694 00:42:53.920 --> 00:43:01.200 who that guy is. What is my name? I want your, I want his number. I want him to take my number, 695 00:43:01.200 --> 00:43:13.840 whatever. That is the amazing transformation for you. Give me some feedback for a minute, 696 00:43:13.840 --> 00:43:17.280 because I think it's so funny. I want to try to see if I can play these videos for you because 697 00:43:18.240 --> 00:43:22.400 I just thought they, I just thought they were hilarious. We're heading on a funny note if we can, 698 00:43:23.120 --> 00:43:28.560 but give some feedback and have some conversation. Maybe let me figure this 699 00:43:28.560 --> 00:43:33.120 out technologically. I'm going to meet myself so I can make some noise and go there. So 700 00:43:34.240 --> 00:43:37.760 give me some reaction guys. Go around the room. A couple of things. 701 00:43:39.680 --> 00:43:44.480 I just think it's, they call it the power of a hundred days. Like you do something 702 00:43:44.480 --> 00:43:50.240 for a hundred days and like, you know, and you, and you get to the end of the hundred days and 703 00:43:50.240 --> 00:43:54.800 you're like in a completely different place. And even if you don't do it imperfectly, 704 00:43:55.360 --> 00:44:00.080 the fact that you keep at it for a hundred days changes your life. Right. And, and, you know, 705 00:44:00.080 --> 00:44:05.120 one of the things about, you know, you were talking about earlier that becoming the best you, 706 00:44:05.120 --> 00:44:10.720 like one of the best advice that I got, I was in, my marriage didn't end up working, but 707 00:44:10.720 --> 00:44:17.520 there was a pastor. He's like, what you, what is bad in this relationship? If you go to a new one, 708 00:44:17.520 --> 00:44:23.840 you will take it with you. So you might as well fix it now. So you don't carry it to the next one. 709 00:44:24.560 --> 00:44:28.640 And, and that makes your relationship better. Well, now, like, even if you're not in relationship 710 00:44:29.280 --> 00:44:34.160 fix, like, this was so cool about the heart work. And that's why I love this group is you get to 711 00:44:34.160 --> 00:44:41.200 fix the things before you get into a relationship. So you're both at a, you're, you're a holder 712 00:44:41.200 --> 00:44:46.000 person, so you can have a whole relationship and a good relationship. So I just encourage you, 713 00:44:46.000 --> 00:44:49.840 whatever it is, take baby steps and crush it. Right. 714 00:44:56.000 --> 00:44:59.840 Is it, can I still be the best version of myself? Even if I entertained the 715 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.600 idea of having a sense of humor? 716 00:45:03.240 --> 00:45:05.800 Well, I would hope that your best self would have a sense of 717 00:45:05.800 --> 00:45:09.120 humor, Colonel, like a hunter, you know, like a hunter, like 718 00:45:09.120 --> 00:45:14.120 it's, as part of you, you know, be you, nobody can be you, but 719 00:45:14.120 --> 00:45:16.640 you don't try to be anybody else. 720 00:45:16.800 --> 00:45:20.640 And love yourself, because only you can love you. If you expect 721 00:45:20.640 --> 00:45:25.080 someone to love you, well, well, you well, you don't you can't 722 00:45:25.080 --> 00:45:27.600 get from if you can love or respect yourself, like 723 00:45:27.600 --> 00:45:30.440 self-respect, well, you're not going to get anywhere, it can 724 00:45:30.440 --> 00:45:31.640 only start with you. 725 00:45:33.480 --> 00:45:37.000 Why would you know, like, yeah, you can't you can love others as 726 00:45:37.000 --> 00:45:39.520 you love yourself. So if you're not loving yourself, how can you 727 00:45:39.520 --> 00:45:40.240 love others? 728 00:45:43.880 --> 00:45:47.080 You end up loving them the same way you love yourself. So then, 729 00:45:47.480 --> 00:45:50.960 if you don't really care for yourself, you know, you treat 730 00:45:50.960 --> 00:45:55.760 them exactly like you treat yourself. And it's something to 731 00:45:55.760 --> 00:45:56.840 become aware of. 732 00:45:57.840 --> 00:46:00.880 Well, and if you allow yourself, if you don't stand up for 733 00:46:00.880 --> 00:46:05.720 yourself, then you end up allowing them to treat you like 734 00:46:05.720 --> 00:46:08.600 you treat yourself too, right? So there's a negative context to 735 00:46:08.600 --> 00:46:10.680 that, too. You allow things that you 736 00:46:16.240 --> 00:46:18.760 Hello, he's trying to screen share. 737 00:46:28.200 --> 00:46:31.920 Adding to that conversation, kind of restating what's 738 00:46:31.920 --> 00:46:35.880 already been said, you have to start with yourself, because 739 00:46:36.600 --> 00:46:40.440 yourself, everything inside of yourself is as real as it gets, 740 00:46:40.440 --> 00:46:44.600 and it propagates outward. First, you, then the closest 741 00:46:44.600 --> 00:46:48.080 people to you, like your blood family, and then your closest 742 00:46:48.080 --> 00:46:51.680 friends and your, you know, and it goes outward. That's why 743 00:46:51.680 --> 00:46:55.000 Jesus says that, you know, something along the lines of 744 00:46:55.000 --> 00:46:58.440 that, if you, if you say you love, but you don't love your, 745 00:46:58.880 --> 00:47:01.240 your own family, you're a liar. 746 00:47:08.120 --> 00:47:12.040 Yeah, I've had a past of, I've never been married, but I've had 747 00:47:12.040 --> 00:47:15.400 three past girlfriends and like each relationship ended with, 748 00:47:16.960 --> 00:47:21.000 like them saying I wasn't still in the blank enough about 749 00:47:21.120 --> 00:47:25.480 still in the blank enough about something. And I was kind of of 750 00:47:25.480 --> 00:47:28.400 like the mindset, like, Oh, wait, I got to try to change, 751 00:47:28.400 --> 00:47:34.360 you know. But now I can see it's like, that's not really the 752 00:47:34.360 --> 00:47:38.440 right approach, like the right woman will like the way I am 753 00:47:38.440 --> 00:47:41.800 without me having to, like, go overboard change. 754 00:47:42.320 --> 00:47:46.600 Well, I think, so you need to be locked into your there's things 755 00:47:46.600 --> 00:47:48.840 that we like when you get into relationship, there's things 756 00:47:48.840 --> 00:47:51.840 that you should change. But you should never change who you are, 757 00:47:51.840 --> 00:47:56.520 like your identity, like, who you are, as like, you know, in 758 00:47:56.520 --> 00:47:59.360 Christ and everything else, you need to have that rock solid, 759 00:47:59.600 --> 00:48:04.200 because in your identity is the most attractive view. And you 760 00:48:04.200 --> 00:48:08.080 don't change who God has made you to be, you don't change 761 00:48:08.080 --> 00:48:13.360 that. Now, if you have issues with like, communication, or 762 00:48:13.560 --> 00:48:16.400 your, you know, your, like, those are things that you 763 00:48:16.400 --> 00:48:19.560 change, but you never change anything, you stay in your 764 00:48:19.560 --> 00:48:23.000 identity of who you are, you don't change, you don't change 765 00:48:23.000 --> 00:48:25.520 that part of you for anybody, because then you don't, then 766 00:48:25.520 --> 00:48:27.600 you're no longer you, you're just whatever they want you to 767 00:48:27.600 --> 00:48:30.480 be. Does that make sense? Right? Yeah. 768 00:48:31.240 --> 00:48:36.000 And what I've noticed in my life, is that and this is, you 769 00:48:36.000 --> 00:48:38.360 know, this is just something that's really confusing. Most 770 00:48:38.360 --> 00:48:41.200 of the time, it's like, a woman will say, Hey, I want you to be 771 00:48:41.200 --> 00:48:45.000 this, this, this and this. But then when you become those 772 00:48:45.000 --> 00:48:46.800 things, they become less attracted to you. Because it's 773 00:48:46.800 --> 00:48:49.200 almost like, well, you only became that because I asked you 774 00:48:49.200 --> 00:48:55.720 to. And now you're like, and so like, I'm 36. And I would say 775 00:48:55.720 --> 00:49:00.680 that in the last two or three years, like just this idea of 776 00:49:00.680 --> 00:49:06.800 like, I'm not going to live my life based on what a woman finds 777 00:49:06.800 --> 00:49:10.120 attractive. That used to be kind of like how I used to think 778 00:49:10.120 --> 00:49:13.000 like, Oh, well, is this going to be attractive or that? Like, I 779 00:49:13.000 --> 00:49:15.880 don't really care. Like, and it's not in a negative way. 780 00:49:15.880 --> 00:49:17.680 Like, I just don't care or anything like that. But it's 781 00:49:17.680 --> 00:49:21.560 just simply like, life is short. I'm here to have fun. I'm here 782 00:49:21.560 --> 00:49:28.040 to enjoy myself. And like, if women don't find what I'm doing 783 00:49:28.040 --> 00:49:30.520 or how I'm living attractive, that's okay. That's cool. 784 00:49:30.520 --> 00:49:33.240 That's on them. And I could probably say there's some things 785 00:49:33.240 --> 00:49:35.200 that they do that I don't necessarily find attractive, but 786 00:49:35.200 --> 00:49:38.720 we shouldn't be living for, like what, and it's not even a 787 00:49:38.720 --> 00:49:41.280 specific woman. It's just like, well, what do women find 788 00:49:41.280 --> 00:49:44.800 attractive, right? Like, and it's like, well, a lot of women 789 00:49:44.800 --> 00:49:47.240 find a lot of different things attractive, right? So what I'm 790 00:49:47.240 --> 00:49:51.720 realizing is that I have better luck in dating when I am just 791 00:49:51.760 --> 00:49:56.560 unapologetically myself, and I go into a date, not worried 792 00:49:56.560 --> 00:49:59.640 about, is she going to like this or is she not? And I'm just 793 00:49:59.640 --> 00:49:59.880 going to 794 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.040 Just be myself and if she doesn't like it is it's all good. My life's awesome 795 00:50:04.560 --> 00:50:09.080 Right, and it's her loss at that point. And again, I don't say that with any sort of like 796 00:50:09.960 --> 00:50:11.560 antagonistic tones or anything like that 797 00:50:11.560 --> 00:50:15.520 But it's just at the end of the day like listen, man, this is what I'm really into this 798 00:50:15.520 --> 00:50:17.520 I have these are my hobbies 799 00:50:18.080 --> 00:50:21.660 You know and and this is who I am cool. Who are you? 800 00:50:21.660 --> 00:50:26.480 I'd love to hear more about you know what I'm saying? Like and I and I would offer her the same courtesy 801 00:50:26.480 --> 00:50:28.480 I hope that she wouldn't try to 802 00:50:29.000 --> 00:50:33.560 Be something that you know, she isn't just to impress me and 803 00:50:34.560 --> 00:50:37.440 and what I found is some of the most like 804 00:50:38.320 --> 00:50:41.280 fun conversations and some of the best dates I've been on is 805 00:50:41.600 --> 00:50:49.560 When like it's just two people being fully and completely themselves not worried about what the other person thinks like those are the best conversations 806 00:50:50.680 --> 00:50:52.680 Yeah 807 00:50:52.720 --> 00:50:54.720 It's like the thing 808 00:50:55.200 --> 00:51:03.160 About the shortcomings like what if you feel like your shortcomings are part of who you are and like they should accept that that too 809 00:51:05.360 --> 00:51:11.160 Yeah, I would I would say again, I mean this is all centering this this conversation that you guys are extending into this 810 00:51:11.160 --> 00:51:13.160 you know, it's all centering and like 811 00:51:13.760 --> 00:51:15.720 really 812 00:51:15.720 --> 00:51:17.720 identifying 813 00:51:18.080 --> 00:51:20.080 Yourself and revealing yourself 814 00:51:20.800 --> 00:51:26.760 You first have to again going back to I don't want to sound like a broken record, but this is really important 815 00:51:26.760 --> 00:51:29.120 This is the point that I'm trying to drive home to you 816 00:51:29.560 --> 00:51:33.920 Which is if you can continue to answer the question 817 00:51:34.680 --> 00:51:37.440 What do you want? Not what do you want for yourself? 818 00:51:37.440 --> 00:51:41.800 But how do you want to be who do you want to be? Like, what do you want? 819 00:51:42.320 --> 00:51:45.800 Yeah, you know that that is the same question 820 00:51:46.480 --> 00:51:52.280 Like what do I want is I want to be a person who is respected I want to be a person who is admired 821 00:51:52.280 --> 00:51:54.360 I want to be a person who is funny 822 00:51:54.360 --> 00:51:57.920 I want to be a person because I think I have a funny sense of percent 823 00:51:57.920 --> 00:52:01.920 I want to be a person that people think I am unique and interesting 824 00:52:02.360 --> 00:52:04.720 There's a lot so many different things like all day 825 00:52:04.720 --> 00:52:09.120 I can go around the room and just plug in the words that you guys were just all talking about 826 00:52:09.760 --> 00:52:15.520 You know Brian's like I'm not gonna be the guy who basically is not my authentic self. Cool 827 00:52:16.120 --> 00:52:19.520 Yeah, because the most authentic Brian is the most attractive 828 00:52:19.800 --> 00:52:24.720 Yes point is it's not about trying to win the heart of the person that's sitting in front of you 829 00:52:24.960 --> 00:52:28.600 It's about trying to attract the person that is attracted to that 830 00:52:30.240 --> 00:52:38.120 It's awesome, yeah, that's the thing is that that I okay, here's another here's another thing I had a wingman 831 00:52:39.680 --> 00:52:42.880 Who came out of nowhere I knew this guy, but I didn't know him 832 00:52:42.880 --> 00:52:47.760 Well, he was my really great friend and he literally ended up being my only friend 833 00:52:48.280 --> 00:52:50.640 through the process of my divorce and 834 00:52:51.560 --> 00:52:57.240 subsequently meeting my current wife because he was just journeying through me there through that whole time and 835 00:52:58.040 --> 00:53:00.040 He himself was divorced 836 00:53:00.160 --> 00:53:02.160 But had not remarried 837 00:53:02.200 --> 00:53:06.240 So it wasn't like oh, here's a successful guy that got divorced and got remarried again 838 00:53:06.240 --> 00:53:08.800 I was happily married and there's not gonna tell me a bunch of things 839 00:53:08.960 --> 00:53:11.400 No, this is just a guy who was just being a frenemy and 840 00:53:12.120 --> 00:53:16.440 I didn't know what a good friend he was until he was being my friend 841 00:53:17.080 --> 00:53:19.080 matter of fact in 842 00:53:19.440 --> 00:53:21.120 the context of 843 00:53:21.120 --> 00:53:26.280 My friend group. He was not the kind of person that I was being friendly to 844 00:53:27.120 --> 00:53:28.800 Does that make sense? 845 00:53:28.800 --> 00:53:30.800 He was not the kind of guy say. Oh 846 00:53:31.760 --> 00:53:34.240 All my friends have gone and you're the only one left 847 00:53:34.240 --> 00:53:39.160 and so therefore, you know, like it was like, you know, this wouldn't be normally the guy I would go to and 848 00:53:40.720 --> 00:53:44.800 We were put in proximity and he being a friend he reached out to me 849 00:53:45.800 --> 00:53:52.640 He said how many women have you ever been with? I said, well, you know, I had like a girlfriend and then basically my wife 850 00:53:53.400 --> 00:53:58.160 We met each other in junior high school went through together through junior high school high school and a little bit college 851 00:53:58.160 --> 00:54:01.160 It was time we broke up, but then eventually I came back and we got married 852 00:54:01.600 --> 00:54:04.520 He goes, oh so basically you've only ever known one woman in 853 00:54:05.880 --> 00:54:07.640 Your entire life 854 00:54:07.640 --> 00:54:12.520 Like how she is how she operates how she acts how she is physically 855 00:54:13.400 --> 00:54:19.640 How she you know, like he she is like intimately, right? You only know if known ever one woman 856 00:54:21.160 --> 00:54:26.280 You haven't played the field so to speak you don't know that there's women that will be this way 857 00:54:26.360 --> 00:54:31.400 There's women be that way as well there will a women that will be like all kinds of different ways 858 00:54:33.760 --> 00:54:37.800 Because of their interests their desires their personalities their 859 00:54:38.720 --> 00:54:45.400 Level of attracting I'm saying and what he said was is that you don't you think there's only one type of woman 860 00:54:46.400 --> 00:54:48.400 and sometimes 861 00:54:48.800 --> 00:54:55.160 guys, we have the experience of doing like we put women all in one category because we've like had a little bit of like the 862 00:54:55.160 --> 00:54:59.800 same type of woman either we were in relationship with or we were married to one time or 863 00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.120 It's like, and we think all women are like that. 864 00:55:02.120 --> 00:55:03.760 And that's just not true. 865 00:55:03.760 --> 00:55:05.000 Or you watch too many TikToks. 866 00:55:05.000 --> 00:55:06.040 Not true. 867 00:55:06.040 --> 00:55:08.720 So in terms of, what was that, Josh? 868 00:55:09.840 --> 00:55:12.420 Or you watch too many TikToks. 869 00:55:12.420 --> 00:55:13.560 Exactly. 870 00:55:13.560 --> 00:55:14.400 Yeah. 871 00:55:14.400 --> 00:55:17.280 Yeah, you think all women are like, you know, 872 00:55:17.280 --> 00:55:19.080 you get into a certain vein, you'd be like, 873 00:55:19.080 --> 00:55:20.280 oh, all women look this way. 874 00:55:20.280 --> 00:55:21.640 No, they really don't actually. 875 00:55:21.640 --> 00:55:24.400 This is like, not real. 876 00:55:24.400 --> 00:55:29.080 And that's why pornography is so terrible 877 00:55:29.120 --> 00:55:32.480 because it gives you this impression that, you know, 878 00:55:32.480 --> 00:55:35.260 all women are for this and will do this 879 00:55:35.260 --> 00:55:38.080 and will be like this and look like this and so forth. 880 00:55:38.080 --> 00:55:41.600 It's just a complete, like, it's not only a lie, 881 00:55:41.600 --> 00:55:44.380 but it's, I mean, it's the worst of like, 882 00:55:45.560 --> 00:55:50.560 it's, I don't want to make it like sound bad 883 00:55:50.720 --> 00:55:51.580 because it is bad. 884 00:55:51.580 --> 00:55:53.800 Like we all know it's detrimental and so forth. 885 00:55:53.800 --> 00:55:58.160 But I mean, it's just not even, it's not even real. 886 00:55:58.160 --> 00:56:00.080 I mean, it's not even like. 887 00:56:00.080 --> 00:56:02.480 I can create a list of why. 888 00:56:02.480 --> 00:56:04.000 Yeah, like, yeah. 889 00:56:04.000 --> 00:56:05.100 So here's the thing. 890 00:56:06.240 --> 00:56:09.240 When you are, like you guys are all talking about yourself, 891 00:56:10.480 --> 00:56:14.200 centered on becoming the most authentic you 892 00:56:14.200 --> 00:56:16.420 and that being the most attractive you, 893 00:56:16.420 --> 00:56:18.880 what is it you think you're going to attract 894 00:56:18.880 --> 00:56:22.720 when you are living that out and you're walking that out 895 00:56:22.720 --> 00:56:24.840 and you're committed to that? 896 00:56:24.840 --> 00:56:27.240 You're going to start attracting, like there will, 897 00:56:27.240 --> 00:56:31.400 it's almost impossible for the right person 898 00:56:31.400 --> 00:56:33.320 to not come along. 899 00:56:33.320 --> 00:56:34.360 Did I say that right? 900 00:56:35.520 --> 00:56:36.360 Yeah. 901 00:56:36.360 --> 00:56:40.280 It's almost impossible to not attract, you know, 902 00:56:40.280 --> 00:56:41.800 the right person. 903 00:56:43.400 --> 00:56:44.480 Yeah, I was going to say the healthiest, 904 00:56:44.480 --> 00:56:47.760 most alive version of yourself is going to attract 905 00:56:47.760 --> 00:56:50.200 the healthiest, most alive women. 906 00:56:51.680 --> 00:56:53.320 And they're not going to be, yeah, that's so true. 907 00:56:53.320 --> 00:56:55.480 Thank you, Dana, for saying that. 908 00:56:55.480 --> 00:56:56.600 And they're not going to be perfect. 909 00:56:57.000 --> 00:56:58.720 You're just like, you're not perfect. 910 00:56:58.720 --> 00:57:00.520 But at the same time, you're going to find those two 911 00:57:00.520 --> 00:57:04.220 or three things maybe that you're going to connect on. 912 00:57:04.220 --> 00:57:06.080 And then you're going to like, this is the one 913 00:57:06.080 --> 00:57:06.920 and we're going to get married 914 00:57:06.920 --> 00:57:08.960 and you're going to get married, you know, 915 00:57:08.960 --> 00:57:11.320 after a time of really getting to know each other. 916 00:57:11.320 --> 00:57:13.000 And you're going to make that decision 917 00:57:13.000 --> 00:57:14.280 because it is a decision. 918 00:57:14.280 --> 00:57:16.420 You don't just fall into love, like fall into marriage, 919 00:57:16.420 --> 00:57:19.560 like, you know, like accidentally you decide to do it 920 00:57:19.560 --> 00:57:21.600 and you go there and you become married 921 00:57:21.600 --> 00:57:24.680 and then you will experience the beautiful working 922 00:57:24.680 --> 00:57:28.280 out of relationship through relationship 923 00:57:28.280 --> 00:57:30.040 and all that stuff gets ironed out. 924 00:57:31.480 --> 00:57:32.840 And it's a beautiful thing. 925 00:57:34.220 --> 00:57:36.240 So it's good. 926 00:57:36.240 --> 00:57:38.160 So guys, we're up at, we're eight minutes over. 927 00:57:38.160 --> 00:57:39.240 I want to respect everybody's time. 928 00:57:39.240 --> 00:57:42.000 So I love you guys, bless you. 929 00:57:42.000 --> 00:57:44.400 We've had a really good time together. 930 00:57:44.400 --> 00:57:45.640 I hope you get a lot out of this. 931 00:57:45.640 --> 00:57:47.520 We did record it, so it's really great. 932 00:57:47.520 --> 00:57:48.960 So we'll be able to post it. 933 00:57:48.960 --> 00:57:52.100 And I will share those. 934 00:57:52.100 --> 00:57:54.120 I will figure out how to share those videos next time. 935 00:57:54.560 --> 00:57:55.400 And we'll watch that and we'll start off 936 00:57:55.400 --> 00:57:59.240 with a little bit of a funny thing next time. 937 00:57:59.240 --> 00:58:00.080 So God bless you. 938 00:58:00.080 --> 00:58:01.560 Have a great week. 939 00:58:01.560 --> 00:58:02.560 We'll talk to y'all.