Hello, welcome, welcome, welcome. Who is joining me live tonight? I see a bunch of names right
now. I see no one. So let me see your faces if you're able to turn your cameras on. Hi.
If you are not driving or eating, we'd love for you to turn your cameras on when you join
a live session. I always like to remind you all. Thank you. Thank you. Who's joining us
for the first time tonight? You've never joined us for a live session. Can you put that in
the chat for me? So I know that you're joining us for the first time. If that's you. Anyone
joining for the first time tonight? Hi, Debra. Hi, Sophie. Hi. Let's see Maxine, Lauren Frenchy.
I see some other names. I just don't see Stephanie. Hi, Jennifer. 817. I don't know your name.
Maybe let us know your name in the chat. If you're able. Audrey, Brenda, Star, Crystal.
Hi, you're coming back for more. All right. That's a good sign. All right. Star, second
time joining live. Yeah. Welcome back. All right. We have some more ladies that will
continue to join here. I just put the reminder up in the group. If you've never met me before,
I'm Bethany Cooper. I almost called myself Stanko there for a second. Y'all still two years in and
I catch myself sometimes. I don't regret being a Cooper. I'm so glad. I love that last name better,
but I'm so glad to be here with you all tonight. I'm one of the heartwork coaches here in the
community and we're just having a lot of fun helping people get breakthrough. It's a blessing
to be able to talk to you all and help you on your journey to healing and breakthrough. Yes.
You know what, Crystal, I saw your ask about the computer thing earlier and I've meant to answer
that question. This is a really good question. So she's asking about, can someone help her know how
to get to the app on her computer? So the phone, you'll download the app to get in there. Okay.
When you're on your computer, you don't have to download an app. I'm going to, let me grab it for
you real quick. I got to type it in so I can grab the browser URL and I'll put it in the chat for
you. So you just go to an internet browser. So open whatever your internet browser is. They
say it runs better on Chrome, but I'm not, I haven't tested that out yet, but you're just
going to do that. And I don't know why it's doing that. You'll just type, you should be able to click
on that URL or copy and paste it. And you'll just put that into the URL space and I'll take you right
to the app where you can access it through the browser. You still have to log in and everything,
but you don't have to download an app to your computer. It's still an app. It's just the browser
version of the app. Everyone understand on that part? And sometimes I'll be honest. I like to
respond on my computer because it's a little easier, but I can't do emojis or any of the fun
stuff when I do that. So sometimes y'all will see me doing the old-fashioned smiley face, old-fashioned
hearts. Yep. That's why that means I've been answering on my computer versus my phone.
So that's there for you all. I'm going to encourage you all, if you haven't done this yet,
there are replays under your replay tab for Supernatural Saturday. I was talking to the
afternoon group. The things that we want you to focus on while you're in, and I forgot to add
one note that I wanted to mention, while you're in HeartWork are the HeartWork book, your videos
from the curriculum. We encourage you to get a journal. Take time to answer the questions, y'all.
And if there's a question that you feel led to avoid, y'all, that's a little, that's a little
nudge from the Lord that there's probably healing that needs to happen there because you're avoiding
it. But I want to encourage you all to do those three things. And then Supernatural Saturday would
be that other thing that I really would say, if you can't do anything else, listen to those
in addition to your HeartWork curriculum and the heart check-ins and whatnot. Here's why.
I believe 100%, so does Jackie, that it will help accelerate your healing in every area of your life.
It's going to really challenge you from, you know, insights from heaven, things that God is speaking
to her, not only about you all in the HeartWork, but our whole community, like what is God doing
in our whole community, as well as in kingdom, family, and marriage in this season. And so
I want to encourage you to check those out. The note that I forgot to mention this afternoon
is this. I want to encourage you all to not ever do it on other books that you're reading right now.
Okay. I'm going to encourage you to put down dating books. I'm going to encourage you to
put down other books that you're reading because you really need to be able to focus your attention.
and during this five weeks.
Our best practice recommendation
is one week of content per week, okay?
So there's five weeks.
If you go a little slower, that's fine.
We just also wanna make sure you all aren't
like getting stalled somewhere in the middle.
So if you get stuck at any part of your course,
please come in and post us,
let us know what's going on
because we wanna help you keep moving forward.
The other flip side is if you are someone
that has just joined the program
and you're emailing and telling us
you're like less than a week, two weeks, three weeks in,
and you're like, I'm finished.
Y'all, we're gonna encourage you to go back
and revisit videos.
We're gonna ask you to reread stuff
because that's way too fast.
And here's the objection I get a lot.
I've done a ton of heart healing before I came here.
Like I've already, like I've heard this stuff,
I've done this.
If that's you, praise the Lord, that's awesome.
But I also did the same thing
before I came into this community.
I had done a lot of counseling,
I'd done a lot of heart healing,
I'd been coaching other people
and y'all, I still got massive,
massive healing and breakthrough.
You don't know what you don't know until you know it,
but you have to come in with the right heart
and attitude to receive it, okay?
So if, and again, I'm not shaming y'all,
but I just want you to know, we know that this works.
And so that's why we're encouraging you.
Please don't be someone that just,
you're trying to fly through the heart work
because you want to get to the guy.
The guy's the cherry on top.
At some point, he's going to be the cherry on top.
All the other breakthrough and freedom
you're going to get in your life
is the most important thing.
Don't you want to live your fullest, best,
the good, good life in every area?
Man, I do.
Even myself now, I'm still,
God is healing me all the time.
So stay engaged, don't try to rush,
come in and do that one week of content per week.
And again, if you go a little slower, that's fine.
We just don't want you binge watching videos,
binge watching, binging on the book.
We built the instructions that in every week,
y'all, there's instructions.
It says, watch these videos, read these pages,
do this journaling.
The reason that's important
is we've also built this very progressively
to help you in a very organic flow of healing.
Does that mean that you're going to miss out on something
if you do it outside of those lines?
No, but I am saying to you
that this is the practice that is working best.
If you get that curriculum done
a little bit sooner than a week,
let your soul and your spirit breathe.
Okay, go back and rewatch some of those videos,
maybe revisit your journaling questions.
Keep talking to the Lord about the content for that week
versus just going right into that next week.
What do I mean by let your soul and your spirit breathe?
Y'all, when we're processing a lot of heart healing,
sometimes we can't even fully comprehend it
all in that moment.
So when we kind of pause,
the Bible says, say la in Psalms a lot,
that's like a pause and reflect.
So that's what I'm encouraging you in, okay?
All right, the last thing I want to mention to you
is invest in self-care throughout your healing journey.
Y'all, eat good, drink plenty of water,
move your body, I highly recommend detox tea,
especially for anyone that feels
like they're really, really getting fatigued.
I'm not gonna recommend brands or any of that kind of stuff,
I don't do any of that,
but like organic is always good, okay?
And that just gets to those toxins
that might be coming out as you're processing things
that helps get them out of your body a little quicker.
All right, awesome, let me pray for us
and we are gonna dive right into repentance
and confession and repentance tonight
and identity, praise the Lord.
We got a lot of work to do tonight, it's gonna be good.
Father, thank you for every one of these ladies
that's here tonight.
Thank you for, yeah Lord,
just bringing us to this place, to this point.
All the ladies that are here right now
are never all gonna be together at this appointed time
for this appointed purpose.
We thank you God for the revealings for healing
that you have for them.
Help them to hear what your spirit is saying.
God, we thank you that you're a good father
who gives good gifts to your children.
We thank you that you're, yeah, Lord,
your eyes are always on us.
You never slumber, you never sleep, God,
even when we don't know that you're working, you're working.
Father, where we have any unbelief,
I pray tonight that you would impart belief,
that you would breathe hope,
that you would breathe a life in healing, resurrection,
power into our spirits.
We thank you that yesterday is gone,
that our sins are as far as the East is from the West
when we surrender them to you, when we seek forgiveness,
when we repent and turn away.
And we thank you, God, that you love us unconditionally.
Nothing can separate us from your love,
not height, nor depth, nor principalities, nor.
power or things in the present or things to come.
So Lord, I thank you that you'll help us to experience
your love in a deeper way tonight.
Yes, Lord, help us to hear your love and acceptance
for us in a fresh way.
We just thank you God,
that you'll help every one of these ladies,
including myself to see ourself through your eyes
a little bit more tonight.
Holy Spirit, we ask you to come and have your way,
move through all the conversations,
through the coaching, through the breakout sessions
and to show up and show yourself faithful
as you always are, in Jesus name, amen.
All right, so ladies, as we start going through,
it isn't a coincidence that I've been more under the weather
in these last few weeks.
Yeah, unless, yes, sometimes y'all are going to feel
some sickness that is gonna happen.
And a lot of that has to do with trauma
that you've had stored up in your body
for a really long time.
And when you come into the heart healing,
basically your body kind of starts to recognize
that you're releasing those things
that have been stored up for a long time,
but it also realizes that you're in a safe place.
I don't know if y'all realize that,
but when we go through trauma
and we're in fight or flight mode
and we come out of that trauma place
and we come into a safe space,
our body actually will like sigh.
And then what will happen?
We'll start to be able to have these things surface
that never were able to surface before.
Not sure if y'all realize it,
but even when you enter a healthy relationship,
I've had this happen multiple times.
And Brian and I, my husband,
I've been married for a little over two years.
We've had this conversation about,
man, I wonder why it took so long for this memory
to come up or for this experience to bubble to the surface.
And he said to me this one day, he's like,
I think it's because you finally feel safe to process it.
Because in the past, in my relationships before,
they were never healthy men.
Like every time they weren't healthy.
And so I never felt safe enough
to process some of the pain from the past
or to even be my true self.
And when we can be our true self with friends,
with family, with a spirit mate at some point,
it really truly can help us open up more.
So I wanna encourage you, if that's you,
just know that in time you'll continue to open up
the more that you heal as you go.
All right, we don't always know the why behind the what.
We're gonna talk about that for a little bit.
What do I mean by that?
I mean, we don't always know why we do what we do.
Like even Paul, he's like,
I don't wanna do this thing, but I keep on doing it.
Anyone ever felt like that?
I felt like that before.
Like, why do I keep getting tripped up with this thing
that I know isn't good for me?
But then when I would come into the situation,
it would feel hard to say no.
Anybody ever struggle with people-pleasing tendencies?
You have a hard time telling people no?
Anybody, any people-pleasers in my audience tonight?
Couple people, yeah.
We're coming out of that, right?
We're gonna work on coming out of that
and having healthy boundaries,
but on the process on the way through,
we don't even sometimes know why we say yes to someone
when internally we actually want to say,
no, I don't wanna do that, or that sounds fun,
but I don't feel like it tonight.
And we let people guilt us into things,
and sometimes they're not even guilting us,
we're guilting ourselves into doing it, aren't we?
Yeah, we're so worried about
what other people will think or say.
But here's the cool thing.
God knows why we do what we do.
He knows the what behind the why.
And that's why it's really important for y'all
in this process to not dig,
but to ask the Lord to reveal areas for healing.
So we're not dependent on our own ability
to understand something, to know why,
why this person did this, why did I do that?
It's all about the Holy Spirit being a part of your process
and helping you heal as you go.
If we go looking for rocks to turn over
to try to get answers,
y'all, we can actually re-traumatize ourselves.
So I wanna encourage you, don't do that, okay?
Trust that God will reveal everything to you
in due season as you go, all right?
So the Holy Spirit, if you remember,
he's also called our comforter, our counselor, and our guide.
I can't say that I'm having the same image happen tonight,
but this afternoon,
as I was starting to talk to the ladies about this,
the Lord gave me this visual of like a dad
kneeling down beside, like in my spirit,
I saw like, I knew it was the father, like father.
God, the father, and he was coming, he was kneeling down,
like next to us individual, each individual lady, and I saw a
first aid kit in his hand. And I knew that he was saying, you
know, he's the great physician. He knows exactly what we need
out of that first aid kit. And I, I even asked the Lord, do I
share that again tonight? Because I'm not necessarily
seeing that image tonight. And I heard the Lord say yes, because
there's people on here tonight, that you need that reminder that
the great physician, your good father. Why do you think he
knelt down in that image? Anyone want to guess? At least I'm
going to tell you my thought behind it. You don't have to
have the right answer. But I'm just curious. What do y'all
think? This is I love for y'all to interact. If I've never told
you that before. I like to ask you questions. I love for you to
interact with me, you can put in the chat. There's no I don't
want y'all to worry about being wrong. Let's just kind of
fellowship and talk together. Yeah, okay. So Frenchie that
came directly to me. Yeah, there you go. I love this. Katie says
he came to serve us. Some people are saying to get on our level,
because he's coming to us and being on our level, a heart of
ministering to us showing humility and coming down to
where we are. And he longs to be with us. Y'all those are all
correct. If you if you've never experienced a dad that felt
loving and kind. I'm sorry that that wasn't what you experienced.
But I want you to understand. God can help you learn what that
looks like and feels like. And I can say that because I never had
that dad. My dad was literally left when I was born like God.
And he was an alcoholic and drug addict. He was in and out of the
home. I really have very, very few memories of my dad. And the
one memory I have, we were all getting paddled. I don't even
remember what we did. But we were all getting paddled. All of
us all four kids got in trouble. We were getting paddled. That's
like one of my memories I have. But anyways, I want you to
understand that God wants to help you grow in your
understanding of who he is as a good father, and that he wants
to tend to your needs with loving kindness, with
gentleness. Will he convict through the Holy Spirit? Yes,
because he wants to help us have a better life. That's why he'll
put things in guardrails in our, in our path, or he'll show us
what the word of truth says, like, hey, don't do this, but do
this. This is why because we can live a better life if we do
those things. And so yeah, he's, he's good. He's down on our
level. He wants to like be close. And he wasn't like knelt
down far away. He was like, right next to us. Like, like
right beside and it was he wasn't turned towards it was
interesting. His shoulder was up next to next to me next to us.
And that's what I saw. So for whoever that's for tonight,
that's what the Lord wants you to know that he's an ever present
help in time of trouble. The word declares that it's a good
reminder tonight, but the Holy Spirit is our comforter, our
counselor and our guide. I want you to kind of envision tonight
the Holy Spirit holding his hand out to you. He's not forcing
his way in. He's he's inviting you to take his hand and let him
lead you through this process. And y'all daily, I encourage you
to choose to take his hand. And he'll know exactly what you need
and in the moments that you need it, he'll know kind of like,
okay, go this way. Okay. You know, here's this memory. Here's
this situation, you know, and he's just gonna weave and walk
with you every step of the way. So some examples of we don't
always know why we do what we do. But God knows the what
behind the why I want to give you some examples of some things
God wanted me to kind of bring up briefly, I'm going to come in
and stir the pot a little bit to see what resonates for you.
Everybody's different. Everybody has different struggles. But
here are some of the ones God led me to write down for us
tonight. Which one do I want to start with? Let's talk with,
let's start with negative self talk, negative self talk and
thought patterns. Are you someone who consistently
struggles with thinking negative, negative things about
yourself, other people, situations, circumstances, you
always think the worst is going to happen? Do you tend to look
at yourself in the mirror and put yourself down? Put other
people down, you know, all that negativity, all that stuff. And
some of you might say, Well, I'm not like that all the time. But
let's let's just kind of think about how did your day go today?
How many people in the room tonight, you don't have to raise
your hand, but just was your thought processes about yourself
about your life about your situations? Good, positive.
or were they negative?
And were they more negative than positive?
Where are you at in that process?
And again, there's no shame, there's no guilt,
no condemnation, just kind of observe
where you're at in that process.
If y'all remember, I really love to talk about
who are you becoming?
It's one of my favorite things,
because I feel like we're always in motion
if we choose to be.
If we don't choose to be, that's up to us.
But I believe we have an opportunity every single day
to become more like Jesus Christ,
to become more whole, to become more free,
to become more confident,
to be more filled with the Holy Spirit,
to know the word of truth more.
Every day, we have the opportunity to become.
It's up to us to choose to walk in that.
Okay, some other things.
People struggle with insecurity, self-hatred.
And so a lot of people be like, well, I don't hate myself.
But you would be surprised, you all,
how often hatred and self-loathing,
self-pity, self-hatred show up.
I'm gonna give you an example from my spiritual daughters,
and maybe this will speak to some of you tonight as well.
Mikayla, the oldest of the two,
years ago, a couple years ago,
we were having this conversation.
I say this conversation,
like y'all are in it with us that night,
but a conversation about some things she was struggling with.
She struggled with the very thing
that I was just talking to you about,
looking at herself in the mirror and liking what she saw.
And here's why.
Not only was she struggling with her image as a whole,
but she said, every time I look in the mirror,
I see my mom.
Now, my girls don't have the best relationship
with their mom.
They do spend time with her, but it's a lot of brokenness.
There's a lot of hard things that have happened.
Their mom says a lot of really mean stuff to them.
And so every time she said, I would look in the mirror,
I just see my mom, and I don't like what I see.
Now, she's not her mom.
She's who, like herself.
But because she sees a reflection of her mom,
because she thinks she looks like her mom,
she started internally, whether she realized it or not,
subconsciously hating herself, rejecting herself.
And so that's what I want to just kind of put out there
tonight a little bit.
Are any of you looking at yourself in the mirror
and really not liking what you see in some way
or shape or form?
Maybe it's not that you see your parents in you.
Maybe it's that you don't like a feature about yourself.
You know, I have some people that literally
will not come on camera.
They won't put pictures up of themselves,
you know, all this stuff,
because there's something they don't like
about how they look.
It's so common, you all.
People will not come out of hiding
because they don't want anyone to see them
because they don't like what they look like.
So let's come out of that a little bit more.
I'm not saying it's going to be easy,
but it will be worth it.
Asking the Lord to help you learn how to love yourself.
The Bible says, love your neighbor as you what?
Love yourself.
So how are we going to love our neighbor
if we don't learn to love ourself?
Again, I've said this the last few weeks,
but it's just a good reminder to keep putting it out there.
And hopefully it'll keep taking root more and more.
All right.
Some other whys that we might not know
why we're doing it.
Overeating.
Anyone ever eat their feelings?
I've done that.
Yeah.
Feeling stressed or overwhelmed or sad.
And all of a sudden I want to eat everything in the house
and I'm not even hungry.
Why is that?
Well, because our brain, if we've done that before
and we do it more than once
and we do it for a certain amount of time,
we begin to build a habit, right?
So we have to start to ask the Lord to heal
the roots in our hearts that are causing us to,
instead of turning to him,
eat our emotions to try to feel better.
And y'all, we don't typically feel better, do we?
I mean, sometimes there's that instant gratification
for a little bit, but then I don't know about,
I can't eat a lot of dairy.
And so I like ice cream when I'm eating it,
but then my stomach hurts after.
And so I'm always like, why did I eat that?
I don't feel good.
I need to stop doing that, right?
I'm just giving you all some real examples,
but this is legit stuff.
Okay, this is coming up in my spirit.
It didn't come up this afternoon,
so I'm just going to run with this too.
There's a lot of people that have experienced abuse sexually
and I'm sure it could happen physically as well,
who will subconsciously put on weight
because they don't want attention drawn to themselves.
And so I want to just say.
say, if that's you, that God wants to help you come out of that. Because you can learn
how to heal and know that it's okay for you to have healthy attention from men. There's
always going to be the men out there that say things or do things, but we can, we can
kind of look past that and just like, oh yeah, that's an unhealthy person. Okay. Let me just
keep going. But we have to learn how to, we have to learn how to do that. Okay. Maybe
you are someone who struggles with gossip. Maybe you're someone who struggles with authority
in situations. Maybe that's authority at work, authority in the home. Maybe you're someone
who really, when that submission question comes up that in that first week or two, I
forget what week it's in. You're just like, yeah, I am not all for that. Maybe it's sexually
related struggles. Maybe you struggle to not have sex before marriage, pornography, addictions,
you know, a lot of people struggle in this day and age with masturbation. And they, you know,
it's just like this big thing that is, is this hidden thing that nobody ever talks about,
but it's really breaking down people's self-worth and their value because they never tend to feel
good about themselves after they do it. And y'all, we're not going to get deep into that
tonight, but I just, it's important for me to just be real and put things out there so that
y'all can seek the Lord about it. Okay. Are you someone who is angry on the inside and it's
turning into outbursts or maybe you're just keeping it contained on the inside, trying to keep it
all together, but you just feel this constant anger beneath the surface. Okay. Again, we don't
always know why we do what we do, but the Lord does. So let's seek him for the revealings for
healing that are needed in every one of these areas. So, as I said, we're going to talk about
confession and repentance tonight. So how do we repent? We come out of agreement with the lies
and we, uh, in the sinful and harmful behaviors you all, and we choose to go in another direction.
So I explained repentance earlier today. If y'all are imagining, if you're going in one direction,
repentance means you literally at some point choose to go in the exact opposite direction.
Now here's the important thing. I'm not looking for, and we're not looking for behavior modification
in this community. There's a lot of people that can keep up really good behavior until they can't.
What we're looking for is heart transformation, heart healing, and heart transformation, which
will then equal life transformation, true repentance in a change of way. Okay. And so
some of y'all that might happen overnight. And some of y'all it's going to be a harder process
because you've been doing, like I said, like the eating thing. That's something I really have to
work at because I grew up in a home where my family, my mom, my sisters, they hid food. Y'all,
it was a learned, not only did I do it as I grew up as well, but I saw people hiding food.
And my mom, when she was really, really sad, I always knew because she would come home from the
grocery store and there would be gallons and gallons and gallons, multiple gallons of ice
cream, y'all or whatever her favorite thing was in the fridge. And again, no shame on her. I know
now why, because she was so broken and lonely and all these things on the inside, and she wasn't
getting true healing and breakthrough. And so she was trying to ease her pain with that stuff.
So she could have put on good behavior for a certain amount of time, but then when that heart
healing wasn't done, that's why she always reverted back to those things. So no matter what it is,
we want a change of mind, a change of spirit, and a change of body. And we don't want to just
behave good. We want that genuine heart transformation through healing. James 5.16
says this, therefore confess your sins one to another and pray for each other so that what
you may be healed, the prayer of a righteous man avails much. Tonight, what we're going to do is
we're going to confess to each other. When you all go into your breakout rooms, that's what you're
going to do. So even as I've been talking, just be thinking about what is the Lord asking
you to confess tonight? I have a few more things I want to share, and then I'm going to get the
breakout rooms ready. When we don't confess and when we don't forgive, y'all, we'll talk about
forgiveness more another night. But when we don't confess or forgive, we literally remain tethered
to something. So I want you to imagine whatever that sin struggle is, whatever that area is where
that cycle is happening, you're literally bound to that if you don't confess it or forgive someone
who's hurt you. Okay?
And so we want to become untethered.
We want to become free tonight.
And even if you're scared,
I want to encourage you, do it afraid.
Do it afraid and take a risk
and trust that God is going to do something really incredible.
Here's the other thing I want to say,
sins that we don't repent for or confess,
create blind spots.
If y'all have ever driven on the road in your car,
and sometimes that car, you know,
on whichever side of you is in your blind spot,
it's really hard to see them, right?
And sometimes you almost get in an accident
because you don't see them and you start to get over
and they're like, oh, you're like,
oh, they're in my blind spot.
And then you see them, hopefully.
So these sin patterns and these areas
that we need to confess also do the same thing for us.
They create these blind spots and filters
that we often can't see.
Recently, there was a situation that happened with someone
and genuinely you all, my heart is for them,
but in talking and coaching them,
there's some things that they are just not willing
to see at this point, or they're incapable of seeing.
It's one or the other.
I think it's actually that they truly,
genuinely don't see it.
And so that's very common for a lot of people.
So if someone is saying the same thing,
if you're hearing the same thing over and over from people,
y'all, please, sometimes they're not right,
but let's just go on the side of,
Lord, I'm gonna humble myself and ask you,
is there any truth in what is being said to me?
Is there any truth?
Is there anything out of what they've said to me,
an area that I need to heal and grow
and come out of that place?
So just wanna encourage you to do that.
Also, as you guys go in,
ladies go into the breakout room tonight,
just a reminder, you don't have to coach,
you don't have to advise,
you don't have to help each other.
Here's what I wanna encourage you to do.
This is, and I thought about this last week.
This is really helpful.
After your sister hopefully shares her confession,
you don't have to, even if she cries,
and y'all, I want you to know
you don't have to apologize if you cry.
Even during our group coaching
or when you share in the breakout,
if you need to cry, let it out.
It's really important for that to happen.
But after your sister shares, whoever goes first,
don't feel like you have, if she cries
or anything like you have to like fix it,
just say, thank you so much for sharing your heart with us.
That's simple ladies, okay?
And then the next person can go.
If you are not able to talk out loud, Shelly, that's okay.
You can either stay with us in the main room
or you can always go in and type in the chat
so that maybe one of the ladies can read it out loud for you.
You can totally decide on that.
And if your audio isn't working, that's okay.
You can stay and listen.
I'll be praying over everybody
while they're in the breakouts anyways.
But I do want you all,
if you're not able to go into the breakout,
I want to encourage you all, and anybody can do this,
whether you can go into the breakout or not.
But if you feel led to post your confession in the group,
I would encourage you to do so, okay?
So y'all can pray into that as well.
All right, let me get these breakout rooms ready.
Your question is, what do you need to confess tonight?
That's your question.
All right, let's see here.
I'm gonna give you all nine minutes.
I'm gonna have like two to three people to a room.
So short, brief and powerful.
All right, there y'all go.
Blessings to you, praying for you.
As you guys go in,
remember some people's internet might be delayed.
Hey, everybody, click to join, click to join.
Got two in there.
Oh, I didn't put her in there.
All right, I'm gonna move Amy around.
All right, I'm gonna move Kasey in as well.
Ayesha, are you able to go into your room?
Just let me know if you're not.
Okay, Kasey can't.
All right, I'm gonna move Amy around.
Oh, it's weird, I don't even see you.
Oh, okay, I'll just try this.
Try that room.
Okay, Lord, we just thank you.
We thank you for technology, Lord, that helps us connect in this way.
Lord, that we can reach people all around the world and bring your truth and life and
hope to them.
We thank you for revealings, for healing that are happening.
Even now, as the ladies are having conversations, we thank you for confessions and repentance.
God, we thank you where the spirit of the Lord is.
There's liberty, there's freedom for the captives, and we believe that captives are
being set free tonight.
We thank you for your truth that can come and prevail over any darkness.
We thank you that you would bring healing and life to every situation.
I don't know what it's doing.
I think it's kicking you out.
Maybe your internet is, maybe, is your internet showing slow or anything on your end?
Yeah, we'll try it again.
If it keeps kicking you out, you can always stay while I pray, but I really want you to
be able to share with the ladies if you can.
Go ahead and try that one.
Hopefully, Lord, help her to be able to stay in that room and be able to share with the
ladies.
Yeah, so we just thank you for just bringing, yeah, Lord, hope in the midst of shattered
pieces of their lives.
We thank you, Lord, that you would show them areas where they have struggled with sin patterns
that they might not even be aware of right now that you want to continue to reveal to
them for healing and hope in life to be manifest in them and through them.
I just keep seeing an image, ladies, of the Lord literally sweeping up broken, shattered
pieces of glass, and then it just keeps reminding me of the story in the book where Jackie talks
about that Chinese, I don't know what it's called, but where they pour the gold inside
of the container and it makes all the cracks are shown through as gold.
It just makes me think about how God makes all things new in his time.
So I want to encourage you all just to lean into that truth that God makes all things
new and he knows how to restore us to greater condition than before we were ever broken.
It also makes me think about how he's the potter and we're the clay.
And so Lord, we just thank you that you are the potter and we are the clay.
God, I thank you that you'll mold us and make us with your hands, with love, with kindness.
God, that you'll just really know the times and the places to apply pressure and when
not to, Lord.
And we just thank you that you see the finished work, you see the finished work, you see the
initial plan and promise that you had for us.
And I thank you, God, that you'll continue to heal every part of us that from the inside
out that will be healed and made completely whole, lacking no good thing.
We thank you, Lord, that we are laying aside every weight that so easily ensnares us, that
we are pressing on toward the high calling of God for our lives.
I thank you, Lord, that you will continue to be able to speak truth and love to us and
help us to open our hearts and our minds and our spirits, our bodies and our souls to be
able to receive your truth.
Thank you, Lord, for continuing to, yeah, Lord, illuminate every dark area.
We thank you that you'll bring things out of darkness into the light, that you'll even
help the ladies remember things that they have forgotten that they did so that they
can confess those things and come into the fullness of your light.
We thank you that wherever our hearts make us feel guilty and remind us of our failures
in 1 John 3.20, it says, we know that God is much greater and more merciful than our
conscience and he knows everything there is to know about us.
We thank you, Lord, that everything hidden and covered up will soon be revealed for the
fast aid is falling down and nothing will be kept secret for long.
So we just thank you, God, that you're bringing those things out of the secret places and
the secret recesses of our soul where we pushed things down subconsciously so that
we could survive, but Lord, we thank you that we're in a safe place now and we can come
out of hiding and trust you to heal us, to restore us, to rebuild us, to renew us.
We thank you, Lord, that every area where there's been any kind of disruption, yeah, Lord,
fractures in our spirit and our soul.
We thank you for the balm of Gilead
being placed upon those areas.
We thank you that you'll help us to have spirits
that are full of turnaround spirit,
that we will literally choose to turn away
from anything that does not look like you.
Lord, not just temporarily,
but that we would long to live our lives
into the fullness of your plan for us,
that we would desire to know you more every single day,
and that you would reveal these areas for healing
so that we can be, yeah, Lord, disglorified,
that we would be able to live a life
that is full of your goodness,
that your goodness can chase us down
in the land of the living.
I thank you that you are continuing to weave together
every aspect and detail of our lives
to fit into your God,
your perfect plan of bringing good into our lives.
We are lovers, I'm sorry,
for we are his lovers have been called
to fulfill his design purpose.
Lord, help us to see your design purpose for us.
We thank you that you would give us eyes
to see ourselves through your eyes, ears,
to hear what your spirit is saying about us,
that you would help us to partner with the kingdom of heaven
and the truth that God wants to release into us
and over us tonight.
We thank you that in Genesis 50, 20,
even as Joseph was sharing here,
we know that the enemy intended things for evil to harm him,
but God, you used everything for good,
not only for his life, but to save many people alive.
And we just thank you, God,
that you're doing that same thing in our life.
We thank you that you're taking all of the ashes
and turning them into beauty,
that every area where we've been
in a season of mourning and grief,
yeah, Lord, I just come,
I ask you to come and just breathe life and hope
and healing into those grief filled areas
where we have felt like we can never break free.
Lord, I thank you that you are breaking us free,
that you just like with Paul and Silas,
you just come right into the prison
and you open the prison gates and you lead us on out.
And we just thank you in advance for that.
We thank you, Lord, that you encourage us
to not give the enemy any place in our hearts or our lives,
that we would not give him legal access
to our life and our family,
that we would not give him an opportunity
by holding grudges against people or nurturing anger
or harboring any kind of resentment or bitterness.
God, help us to release all of these things to you
and to choose the path of healing,
to choose pathways of righteousness for your name's sake.
We thank you that we would choose love.
Lord, we can have so many gifts,
but if we don't have love, then we have nothing.
So help us, Lord, to choose to be patient,
to be kind, to be filled with your love,
that we thank you that you'll, yeah, Lord,
show us how you wanna just turn our lives around
for your glory.
And yeah, I'm asking you, Lord,
to give people fresh vision and understanding
of your plan and your purpose for their life.
Help them to hear what yours,
help them to have like while they sleep and during the day,
just to start to receive fresh revelation
of everything you have for them.
Yeah, unhindered, Lord.
Thank you that these women would be unhindered,
that they would no longer be stuck,
that they would be set free in every area.
We just thank you, Lord, that any tether,
anything holding them back,
God, that that would be broken, that would be revealed.
And Lord, give them the courage to choose
to walk into freedom, to choose to confess,
to choose to forgive, to choose love, to choose to heal,
even when they don't fully understand it.
In Jesus' name, welcome back.
I think almost everybody's back.
We have like two rooms in there.
They're about to be brought back here.
Y'all, God is so good.
He's so good.
He knows exactly what you need.
All right, welcome back, everyone.
Hi.
All right, who is willing to share with the whole group
what you shared in the breakout?
Normally takes one to get us going.
All right, Katie, go for it.
Okay, I feel like this came up last week.
It's a space around,
and I don't know if it falls under one of your categories,
but it's a space around perfectionism.
And maybe that's a form of like self-hatred,
but I talked about,
I'm doing these presentations every week,
and today we had an impromptu.
And it just, I feel like I so bombed it.
I didn't know the topic.
They give it to you and you just start talking.
And anyway, I just really had to talk myself down with
the guys and combat that.
So I cried a lot.
So here's my question.
And I should have said this earlier.
I did not have a complete list.
Those were just some ideas.
So if y'all felt something else come up, that's totally fine.
So let me ask you this.
Um, when you don't feel like you do something perfect, do you
tend to shame yourself like even today was the language that you
were hearing shameful towards you?
It, what comes up as I feel unlovable.
Okay.
Tell me why.
Do you know, like even the first time that you can remember, let's do
this and it might not be the ultimate first time, but let's just try
to take a journey towards that.
When's the first time you remember not being perfect and feeling like
somebody didn't love you well,
I was probably young.
Um,
there isn't anything specific coming up.
That's okay.
And this is where it's really important.
Ladies, just so y'all know, this is totally okay.
If she doesn't have anything come up right now, because I trust the word
to reveal that to her when it's time.
Okay.
And I do think that there probably is something there.
Sometimes ladies in this process, we're not going to remember on this
spot because it might even be really tender for us to go there.
And so sometimes we put up and I'm not saying you're doing it intentionally,
but just subconsciously are our subconscious puts up walls to protect
us from going into certain areas until we've maybe dealt with some other things.
So there might be some other areas that God might lead you to deal with first.
Until you can kind of start to let those walls down more.
And it's not, again, it's nothing that you're doing wrong.
It's just might be the process that you have to go through.
Does that make sense?
So I don't want anyone to feel like, oh my gosh, I'm not doing something right.
I can't have this.
There's no memory coming up or there.
No, just trust it.
Just trust it.
So for now, all you know, is that when you're not perfect, you feel unlovable.
So when's the first time you remember feeling unlovable?
It's okay.
Was it today?
Is it easier to start with today?
To start with today?
Yeah.
When was the first time today I felt unlovable?
Sure.
Let's start there.
That felt, that felt more fresh to you and a little bit easier
where you wouldn't feel pressure.
So when that, that lie that you were unlovable came up, were there any other
lies that you were hearing at the same time?
It's sort of like, there's a space around, you know, letting a man in
and accepting love there, maybe being good enough.
Who do you have to present to?
Is it like a man or woman boss or what, what is it like to be a woman boss?
It's a class.
Uh, so other students, um, we're going on a missions trip together and then a
facilitator, so it's not a huge group and I've been doing it up till today.
So, and, and here's the thing y'all, it could be to one person, but if you're
internally afraid, is there anything in you that you're afraid if you didn't
do it well enough, that you're not going to be able to go do something?
Is that what's happening?
No, I think I've just, it's been a pattern of struggle to public, to public
speak, uh, in the past, so that I'm even, it is a big deal.
Um, and I feel like there was part of me that was silenced as a child.
Okay.
So, um, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to
okay, so we won't keep pushing on this because I also think it's super important
to not nudge too much until you start having a little bit more percolate to the
surface.
Um, again, that's where we stay away from digging.
So I asked him some questions and you didn't feel anything come up, but when I
started asking around today, that felt.
little bit easier for you to go into. So the things I want you to pray into in the days ahead,
and again, it's okay if it doesn't come up right away, but I want you to ask the Lord to show you
when was a time I felt unlovable before today? And is there anything you want to show me about it?
Is there a memory that I need to know? And again, it's just you asking God good questions and just
letting him, and if it takes weeks, Katie, it's okay, right? And then the next thing,
as you said about the public speaking, then you said, I think I was silenced as a child.
Okay. So even the fact that you said, I think, I feel like there is a lot of, again,
those walls that are there, and it's just something, a self-protection mechanism that
you probably put in place subconsciously as a kid. And so just start, just ask the Lord.
Lord, was I silenced as a kid? Was there a time I felt like I wanted to talk and someone did or
said something that I didn't feel safe to share my thoughts or my voice or whatever it was you
were doing? Sometimes people even are just trying to be kids, like playfully and the adult or the
parent, whether they're stressed or whatever their reason is, they silence. They don't want to hear
that. Shut that noise down. You know, all that kind of stuff. And, or they could do it really
nicely. And the kids still could feel rejected. You know, we never know, but that's where I want
you to start this week on those two things. Okay. And let's, as God shows you some things,
even if it's a little thing and you're like, I don't even think this is related. Don't question
it. Just come back and share in the group with us. Okay. Because that we're going to let the
Lord help you unpack this at the pace. That's best for you. That sound good. All right. Thank
you for sharing. It takes a lot of courage to share and it can be tough when things don't come
up right away. That's why it's super important for you to know it's totally fine. And, and it's,
it's good for other people to learn that the process is different for everybody.
Yeah. So thank you so much for sharing Frenchy. Go ahead.
Hi, how are you? Pretty good. So I feel like I got some revelation on a cycle that's been
happening in my life. And I've been asking the Lord, like, what is this? And it's when you were
sharing about like eating our feelings, but then people have been sexually abused, put on weight to
feel safe. And I noticed like, I'll take care of myself and I'll put in the effort and like,
I'll keep up with my hair. Cause purple fades fast. And then all of a sudden, like I'll get
unwanted attention or I won't feel safe. And then I'll feel all this guilt and shame
about my appearance. And then I'm just like, Oh, I don't care. And I'll just let everything go.
So then I'm like, well, I might eat all the gluten and dairy I possibly can and not take
care of myself. And it's not great. Like it doesn't fix the problem, obviously. But I was
feeling like, what, like, what is this route? But then he reminded me of something that happened
with like attempted sexual assault one time in my twenties. So that was a memory that came up today.
And I felt like a lot of guilt and shame in that moment. And I did nothing wrong. Like I
was just walking home from work. And so I think he's just turning the light bulbs on and like,
Oh man, this is still playing out in my life to this very day. So I don't want it anymore,
which is great that it's coming up now. It is. Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing
that with us. I'm sorry to hear that that happened to you. I think it's super important
that, you know, and recognize that you didn't do anything wrong. Okay. It's so common you all,
as I was saying for this to happen. And so as you're unpacking this with the Lord, I don't
think it's a coincidence that that memory, I don't, did that memory come up before tonight?
No, it was while you were explaining it and I was taking notes and all of a sudden I was like,
Savannah, this is important. So this is kind of like what I was just saying to Katie,
if y'all recognize, I don't think this is a coincidence either because French,
she's been seeking insight on this. Like what's keeping me stuck here.
Why is this cycle something I keep struggling with. And all of a sudden now tonight she's
hearing, and I know French has been on when I've done the repentance and confession before.
You all, and I maybe didn't share exactly what I shared tonight.
You know, God, I have the basic same content and then sometimes God will just lead me to
say other things.
Or she could just be at the point where she was ready to hear it and receive it and get
that revelation.
And it doesn't mean she didn't want it before, but we need to be in a right place to receive
it, to handle what's being given, right?
And so God is giving you the tools to get breakthrough.
I really want to encourage you, anyone that resonates with FriendsG, I want to encourage
you to really ask the Lord to help you love your body.
To really start leaning into like healing in the body image.
Like for me, one of the things God led me to do, and everyone's different you all, okay?
So I'm not saying that everyone should do this, but this was something God led me to
put on my Jesus Cares Board.
And y'all can put these kinds of things on your Jesus Cares Board if you didn't know.
But if you can, because of all the sexual abuse and other things I went through.
And then also I was in a church that was, I love my former church.
I love the people there, but it had a lot of religion in it.
And they didn't believe that you should wear bikinis and all that stuff.
And I'm not here to debate that, but what it did is because I came out of all that abuse
and that I went into that religious environment where it was like, if you wear a bikini, you're
going to tempt men and they're going to sin.
And so it just added on to all that body shame and guilt.
And so I loved the beach.
I loved to go by water.
And y'all, what ended up happening is I became terrified to do it because I was always freaking
out like, who am I going to make sin?
And it just was like, I couldn't even function.
I couldn't even.
And then it turned into me not liking myself in the swimsuits or think I was too fat or
this or that.
And you all just became this vicious cycle.
And so I put on my Jesus cares board, Lord, I want to go to the beach and just be free
in my swimming suit.
I don't even need to wear a bikini.
I just want to be able to go to the beach and feel comfortable in my skin.
Legit, that was what I asked for.
And I'm not saying I never struggle anymore, but y'all, I live by the beach now and we
go to the beach all the time.
I'm so grateful that I sought the Lord about that.
And I kept praying into it.
And I kept leaning into what he was showing me to do to the point that, yes, you all standing
in front of the mirror without clothes on and asking God to help you love the body parts
that you don't love, super important.
Have any of you ever that have struggled with any of this, I'm just curious.
Have any of you ever just thanked your body for being strong for you?
Some of you might be led to do that in the next few weeks, maybe starting this week that
we would just pause.
God, thank you so much, body, body, thank you for being strong for me.
And I know that might seem silly, but God gave us this body and some of our bodies have
been through so much trauma and stress and they've been strong for us.
And some people will, I know like in our community that have struggled with a lot of sickness,
they're like, no, my body hasn't.
I'm sick all the time, but here's the thing.
Some of you all may have been sick for years, but you're still alive, aren't you?
And your body is still doing its best to function and thrive, but our souls, when our souls
are broken and there's this stuff in there, our bodies can't help, but like be impacted
by that as well.
Now the enemy causes sickness, but we also, the unhealed wounds can do that as well, if
y'all didn't know.
So the more that you heal, some of you all are going to be like walking out of disorders
and sicknesses that you've had for a long time.
And am I saying it's going to be overnight for everybody?
No, some of you all, I don't understand why God does things like some people get a radical
healing and they're just, you know, I said earlier today, even my journey coming out
from under the spirit of lust that was impacted into my life as a little girl.
I mean, what kid at five or six knows how to handle sex?
You all know one, no one.
So all that lust was brought into my life, let alone the generations before me that also
were like participating in that.
And so as I grew up.
Every single way the enemy could, he would just try to come in and bring the spirit of
lust, spirit of lust, all these different ways to attack and crush me. So I had to make a stand
against that and choose to walk in the fruits of the spirit, including the spirit of self-control,
even when it was hard, even as it got closer to wedding day, setting guardrails,
Ryan leaving before it got dark, never hanging out late at night, no more cuddling, no more
kissing. Yep. For real. I had to put those guardrails in place. We had to, because I was
fighting for freedom, not just for me, not just for him. Yes, for us, but for my kids,
for the generations behind us, because I will not allow that spirit to come down through me.
I will not. And so that was something I fought for. And so some of you all,
you're going to feel that Kinsman Redeemer start to come on you, even as I'm talking right now
for something that's come down through your family line. And God wants to not only deliver
you and set you free, but he wants to use you to redeem your timeline for other people to come
behind you. Generational blessings. I feel the Holy spirit on this. God is using me to usher in
generational blessings and freedom for my kids and their kids and their kids. Am I saying they
won't have to fight against that stuff? No, I I'm not naive. I know the enemy will try to bring that
back in, but I can educate my kids and my family. So maybe yours is food. Maybe yours is body image.
Maybe yours is the last stuff. Y'all, whatever it is, God, God wants to deliver you. And he wants
to help you for generations. All right. Frenchy. So good. Hopefully some of that was helpful for
you. I would encourage you also, um, anytime that you sense that feeling of, um, wanting to eat
because you're afraid of attention from men, just ask the Lord to show you the positive, the positive,
the flip side. So to help you like, okay, Lord, help me to know what healthy attention looks like.
Does that make sense? What's healthy attention from men look like? What does that feel like?
And Lord helped me to not be afraid and take it on myself. Okay. Here's another insight. Sorry,
y'all this isn't Lord's doing something with this right now. So I just have to trust him.
The other aspect here is when that unwanted attention happens to you all, when we start
putting weight on, or we respond negatively, it's like we've taken responsibility on ourselves
for that behavior. Does that make sense? What I just said? Yeah, I feel that. So even Frenchy,
like not taking responsibility for men when they do unhealthy things, or even women,
y'all in this day and age, there's women that are coming on to other women.
So let's just say that too. So when you get any kind of unwanted attention,
that you don't take that responsibility for their behavior onto yourself, just like myself,
I can go to the beach, praise the Lord and be free and not worry constantly about what someone else
is thinking, not thinking, doing, not doing. I can just go and enjoy the beach and the water,
which is why I'm there anyways. So freeing. So maybe also Frenchy or anyone else that this is
speaking to, are there other areas of your life where you tend to take responsibility upon yourself
for other people's behaviors? Not just in this area, because a lot of times if we do that
in the body area, we tend to do that in other areas as well. Okay.
Oh, you all, I didn't mean to go all there, but we went there. We did it. You tracked with me.
I didn't lose all of you. This is great. Okay. We can do hard stuff, ladies. We can. We can.
All right. Sarah, go ahead. So I was just going to share what I shared in the group,
then my confession. And mine was lust. I feel like I've come a really long way with, because I,
in the not so distant past, have really struggled with porn off and on throughout my life.
And I feel like I've gotten a lot of breakthrough with that. It's not a struggle right now, but
I feel like lust is still there. And actually, as the person that I was talking to was talking about
some of their stuff, they mentioned numbing.
And I think, I feel like those two things kind of go hand in hand with me.
Like I, if I'm feeling strong feelings, I, I like, I, I recognize what I'm feeling.
And I, a lot of times know why I'm feeling it, but I don't know what to do with the feelings.
And so I just kind of turn it off, you know.
And so I think.
Can you give me an example so I can help, can help you process that a little bit?
Like with stress, especially, I think that's been the biggest thing in the last few years,
the stress, which I did just quit my job.
So that was kind of, I'm going to have a lot less of the stress that I was dealing with.
But yeah.
Okay.
This is helpful.
Thank you for sharing and having courage to be so open with us.
There's a lot of people that struggle with this, Sarah.
And I believe what you just shared is going to help a lot of other people tonight.
When you were sharing, when you said the numbing thing, what I heard in my spirit was disassociate.
A lot of people will do numbing behaviors, whether that's alcohol, pornography, you know,
and smoking or, you know, all these kinds of things to disassociate from their current reality.
And that can start really young, but it also can start because someone just exposed us to it.
And then as we became addicted to it, whatever that thing is, the numbing becomes a part
of the process because it's, you know, that, y'all, I don't know all the studies, but like
what's released into the brain when people see pornography or things like that is pretty,
pretty addictive, pretty quick.
And so learning how that, you knowing that stress is a trigger, super important.
So removing yourself from those kinds of things when stress is kind of at a high will be important.
And so I just want to encourage you to keep going.
It sounds like you're doing really well.
You are sharing really confidently, which is good.
When we go into, I got to think, I think it's in week five.
So don't rush ahead to this, but there's a self-preservation technique sheet
that is in week five.
And it talks about all the different kinds of things we do ladies to self-preserve
and numbing is one of those.
Okay.
And sometimes people even numb out.
I've done this even on like rom-coms or TV, like binging TV stuff.
When you just don't want to feel anymore.
And you're just constantly like you're, I remember the old show Felicity.
I remember the last time I watched that series over and I can just remember the Holy spirit
just whispering to me, like, you're totally avoiding what you need to deal with.
He was so kind, but he just lovingly said that to me.
You're avoiding what you need to deal with.
And it just came like a whisper.
And so typically we want to always, if you guys remember, you're going to hear this all
the time.
When is the first time that you maybe watched porn or even gave into lust in some way could
even been a movie to numb.
So asking the Lord to reveal the first time you don't have to even do it tonight or now,
cause I'm going to start to shift towards the next content, but just as you're processing
this and unpacking it more, Sarah, asking the Lord, when is the first time I did any
kind of addictive behavior or even just disassociated and did something to numb?
And what was I going through when that happened?
That makes sense.
All right.
Awesome.
Y'all, this is some good, good stuff.
Y'all.
I'm so proud of all of you all sharing in the chat, in openness, in the breakouts, we're
going to keep track in tonight.
We're going to start to shift here.
Okay.
We're going to start talking about identity.
It's already nine Oh nine.
So I'm gonna try to do this really quick.
Cause I want you all to have another breakout time.
It's super important.
So basically where I'm picking up is Adam and Eve have sinned.
They have eaten of the fruit.
They're in the garden and, uh, they've hidden themselves and, you know, all that kind of
thing.
And in Genesis three, eight through 11, it says this, then the man and his wife heard
the sound of the Lord.
God, as he was walking in the garden, the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord
God among the trees of the garden, but the Lord God called to the man, where are you?
He answered.
I heard you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked.
So I had, here's where we're going to focus tonight.
Verse 11.
And he said, God talking to Adam, who
told you that you were naked?
And then he says, have you eaten from the tree
that I commanded you not to eat from?
Okay, who told you that you were naked?
So what I wanna say to you tonight,
who told you that you weren't smart?
Who told you that you weren't good enough?
Who told you that you can never break free
from this sin cycle?
Who told you that you could never have a husband
that's healthy and you could never have a family?
Who told you, whatever it is, fill in the blank.
Who told you you were naked?
I also want you to think about it,
and I'm gonna kind of, y'all,
I'm not trying to take things out of context,
but God gave me this idea today, and I think it's good.
So I just want you to kind of imagine with me
when God is saying to him, have you eaten from the tree?
I started thinking about when we go through trauma,
whether it's something we chose
or we experienced it at the hands of someone else,
it's almost when that happens,
it's like whether we chose to or not, we ate.
We ate of something, right?
Imagine that whatever we went through,
it caused us to eat something and partake of it,
and that's what has caused us to now think something
that's not true, that we're naked
or realize that we're exposed.
I hear that word a lot.
I feel exposed, I feel naked,
and I want to encourage you all, if that is how you feel,
I'm not saying it's not true, but God doesn't expose,
he reveals for healing, and guess what else God does?
He covers.
There's a story in the Bible, I can't think of who it is.
It might be Noah after they got off the ark.
I'll have to look it up, but basically where,
yeah, I think it was Noah,
where one son found him drunk in the tent.
I think I've got it right.
And that son, guess what?
Didn't cover him up.
But the other son, he walked backwards.
He didn't even look, you all.
He didn't even open his eyes to it.
He walked backward and covered his father's nakedness.
The father is able to look at you,
even in your sin, and love you unconditionally.
Let that settle in for a minute.
His love covers a multitude of sins.
Does he want you to keep doing that?
No, but his love is great.
It's wide, it's deep, and it covers.
All right, so who told you you were naked?
What people in your life said to you
can form your identity if you let it.
So I wanna ask you, like, what have people said to you
that caused you to be where you are,
like in a negative way,
like the identity stuff that's not true about you?
Let's just, I wanna activate you.
Just go ahead and tell me, what's something someone,
what's something, we'll do the negative first.
What's something negative somebody has said to you?
They could have said it out of their mouth,
they could have wrote it to you,
but somebody said something to you that was hurtful.
One person.
My parents say that I need to lose weight
in order to find a husband.
Okay, yeah.
That's actually pretty common, you all.
It's really sad, but it's pretty common.
I hear it a lot.
Go ahead and keep putting those in the chat there for me.
As you guys keep doing that, I'm gonna keep moving.
Brillo pad and about my hair.
That's interesting, Crystal.
Tell me more about that, if you will, in the chat there.
Shy and quiet.
Okay, I might, if I have time, touch on that shy thing,
because I think God wants to help some of you all
who have been told you're just shy to come out of that.
I don't think that actually was some of you all.
I don't think that was your original identity,
but I think you became that because you felt like you had to.
Comments about weight.
Okay, as you feel led, go ahead and put those in there.
Now I want you to tell me something
that someone said that was positive.
That might be easier for some of you.
All right, and then be thinking about this.
Who does the enemy try to tell you that you are?
And then who does God say that you are?
And who wins at the end of the day?
Is it the things that people say to you?
Is it the things the enemy is saying to you?
Or is what God says about you and to you,
what is ruling in your mind?
The Bible says to think on things that are true, noble, lovely, and of good report.
Things that are above only and not beneath, but y'all, we have to choose what we're going
to put our minds on.
Okay.
All right.
Here we go.
You all.
I'm going to activate you more.
I know I'm having you put a lot of stuff in the chat, but I'm doing it for a purpose because
I want you to engage in what we're talking about.
Even if it feels hard to put it out and where people can see it.
All right.
I want you to, on your piece of paper first, on a piece of paper or in your phone, whatever
you have available to you, I want you to write down the first two to three words that come
to your mind.
When I say, who are you?
What is your identity?
Like who is, who is Deborah?
Who is Lauren?
Who is Kaylee?
Like who are you?
What is the first things that you hear?
If it's negative, y'all write the negative.
If it's positive, write the positive.
And there's a reason that I don't want you to shy away from whatever you hear.
And some of you will hear a positive and that's amazing, but I don't want you to think you
have to say that because you think that's what I'm looking for.
I want you to literally write down anything that comes to you, first two to three words,
and then we're going to do something with it.
It's going to be part of your activation this week.
All right.
If you want, you can put those in the chat so other people can see kind of some of the
things that you're hearing and thinking about yourself.
Some of these thoughts aren't even your own thoughts, you know, I just want to remind
you of that.
Some of these thoughts are literally the enemy's thoughts and he's putting them in your mind
and you think you're, that you think that they're yours, but they're not all right.
So good.
All right, ladies.
Let's keep doing that.
Here we go.
What does your root system look like?
If you think of a tree, I found one, I wanted to show one earlier and I forgot.
And so let me, that's not it.
Hold on one second.
Oh, is it not going to let it come up?
All right, this tree right here, this one right here, I don't know if y'all can see
it.
That's the one I wanted to show you.
Half of the tree is alive and half of the tree doesn't look like it's got much life
on it.
Right?
It's losing its leaves.
It's bare.
I want you to think about this kind of visual image, if you will, that some of you are not
getting your nutrients from healthy places because you're believing lies about yourself.
As you continue to heal, obviously we believe that God's going to reveal the lies so that
you can replace them with truth.
And I believe that God can graft the truth in and replace those lies and help you bring
life in those places in the future.
But right now, some of you, are your roots causing you or parts of your life to decay?
Like are you losing life in some areas or feeling not alive?
But then the other parts, and this is very possible, feel very alive.
Y'all, I used to feel like I had tons of victory, like in church and serving.
I could, I mean, I could lead and lead all kinds of stuff in church, like nobody's business.
And I rocked it.
I did.
But my love life was always messed up.
And my finances, I struggled.
I did my best, but I struggled for a long time.
But I praise God that I'm learning how to be healthier in more areas of my life, not
just some, but I believe I am healing in every area of my life.
I'm starting to live into the fullness in every area that God created me to be and live
in, to take dominion and lead for the Lord in every area.
All right.
So how can you tell what's in your roots?
How can you tell what's in your roots?
How can you tell if your roots are like not full of life versus full of life?
Okay.
I'm going to stop my screen share so I can see y'all because I like that so much better.
All right.
Here's how I'm going to read a little bit from the book for you.
Again, I don't talk about the pages just because your page is different than mine because you
have the ebook version.
Okay.
Fruits versus roots.
Roots are the emotional or physical manifestations and the subsequent actions you have been taking
as a result of what you believe in your heart.
Fruits may include sickness, self-pity, a victim mentality, despair, suicidal tendencies,
disgust, and judgment.
Just a side note.
If you have a problem with judging others, it's because you have a fragmented heart.
A judgmental heart is a hurting heart.
Some more fruits.
Some more fruits are obesity, perversion, addiction, sexual
dysfunction, hopelessness, hatred, and self hatred. Just so
you know, all forms of hatred begin with self hatred. You
can't hate someone else without hating yourself. Some others are
abrasiveness, short temper, irritability, jealousy, envy,
competitiveness, comparing, gossiping, backstabbing, being
unhappy, ungratefulness, selfishness, having a poverty
mentality. If you are habitually negative, unfaithful or have any
form of dis, including disease, disconnection, discontent and
disappointment, you are suffering from a broken heart.
Jackie says I could go on and on. As you can see, what we
often believe is the problem is just the fruit of the real
problem. If we really want these areas of our lives to become
healthy and abundant, we have to pull these things up by their
roots. That means locating and isolating the lie that we
believe that is at the core of all of these behaviors you are.
Okay, again, we're not looking for behavior modification. If
you related to any of those things or any other things that
I listed, you want to just keep asking the Lord to reveal the
lies that you believe in those areas that keeps you in those
places. Okay, reveal them for healing and replace them with
the truth. Here is your breakout question. I'm going to lean on I
had two options, but we're going to lean on option two for this
one. Was it what is a pot? Now those were all a lot of negative
roots. But what I want to do is talk about a positive root. So
what is a positive root that you're going to choose to
partner with in the days ahead? So the positive root would be
maybe the flip side of the negative root that you've been
were like maybe struggling with and we want to we want some
breakthrough. So we want to come out of agreement with that
stuff. And we want to come into agreement with the positive.
What's the flip side. So one of the things I wrote down today,
this isn't a fruit necessarily, but this is what's coming up in
my spirit. Talk less and listen more. Here's why. In Proverbs,
it's telling me that people that are wise, listen, they listen
more than they talk. I'm not saying God's telling me I'm
doing something wrong, but I feel like he's leading me to
listen, listen more. Now is that is it a sin if I talk? No. So
maybe that's not the best example. But that's what came up
in my spirit. So some of you might even be something like
that. But maybe for some of you, you're talking leads to
gossip thing. So maybe that's why God might nudge you to not
talk as much, you know, who knows? Everybody's different.
Alright, so I'm going to put you in your breakout rooms. I am
going to recreate these. So I can meet some new people. I'm
not going to put you in there as long as going to be short, brief
and powerful. Again, what what is it a positive route that
you're going to partner with in the days ahead. So I'm going to
give you three minutes. So if you've got three people, you
each got a minute to share. Okay, gotta go quick. Here you
go. Go ahead and click to join those you have to be quick to
get in there. Lord, we just thank you for all that you're
doing. God, thank you that you're continuing to show us the
areas where you want us to continue to break through that
you want us to continue to heal and be restored. I thank you,
Lord, that you are helping us to continue to see your truth, your
life, your hope. I thank you, God, that yeah, Lord, that we
wouldn't look at ourselves through a microscope lens of
judgment, criticism, shame, self hatred, self loathing, God, that
we will look through your lens that we would be willing to hear
what your spirit is saying about us to us. God, we thank you that
Jesus died on the cross, not only for our for freedom from
the sins and the things that we've done. But Lord, I thank
you that he died to make a way for us to be one with him as he
is one with you. And I thank you that we fight from a place of
victory. So Lord, I thank you tonight that you're going to
help the ladies understand they're fighting from from
victory, not for it because Jesus already died to give them
the victory. So Lord, I thank you that you would help us to
apply the blood tonight that we would continue to heal and lean
more into who you want us to become in the days ahead. I pray
that if we have root systems that are not healthy right now,
because we're rooted and grounded in things that don't
look like the kingdom that don't look like Jesus that don't look
like love. I thank you
that you'll come into those places
and reveal those areas for healing.
Help us to turn away from anything that is not like you
and to choose to go on the path with you, Lord,
that leads to life, that leads to healing.
We know that you have a plan to prosper us,
to give us a hope and a future.
And so, Lord, I thank you that you'll help us to partner
with, yeah, the future plans that you have for us.
Where we have tended to believe
that you only have the worst in store
because we've gone through a lot of bad things.
Some people in this group, that's what they've known.
Lord, thank you that you're giving them a turnaround story.
We thank you, God, that you would give them dreams
and visions and hope just overflowing,
not to the brim, but overflowing, God,
and suddenly starting to happen in their life.
We thank you for supernatural healing and transformation
that's just gonna continue to come, come, come, Lord.
And just, we thank you for,
even like how fun she's on tonight,
and she just got that revelation and that breakthrough
that she's been asking and seeking about,
where we thank you for those suddenly moments
when they happen and all the truth and hope and life
that they can bring and usher in.
And I thank you, Lord, that we can continue to partner
with you in this process.
And yes, Lord, that we don't have to be afraid
that our foot would slip or fall because, God, you've got us.
Yeah, Lord, I thank you.
I'm gonna wait until the ladies come back.
That was a good picture.
God's so good, you all.
He's always talking to us.
Some of y'all are learning the ways that he talks to you,
and you're gonna learn that more and more
in the days ahead.
The more that you heal
and just recognize the way he speaks to you,
it's gonna be really fun.
It's gonna be really fun.
And he loves to talk to you, just so you know.
Like he loves to hear your voice.
He loves when you'd worship him.
He doesn't need our worship, you all,
but he just loves it when we worship him.
He loves to spend that time with us.
All right, as people come back, hello, hello, hello.
As I was praying for you all,
I saw an image of some of you all in the spirit.
Might be just for one, I don't know,
but I just wanna release it, because I saw it.
I saw like a cliff,
and I saw as if someone was like climbing,
like rock climbing.
And what I heard in the spirit was,
God says, don't worry, I'm going to catch you if you fall.
So I don't know if some of you feel
like this process feels like rock climbing,
like you're trying to like scale a wall
as you're trying to break through from stuff.
I don't know who that's for,
but God wants you to know like he's your harness, okay?
He's your harness.
And so I think he's gonna transform that rock wall
into a whole different revelation and understanding,
just FYI.
I think he wants you to know that it's actually not that.
He's gonna make it like with grace and ease,
that you're gonna walk into this healing
with grace and ease.
That it's not gonna feel,
life isn't gonna feel hard all the time anymore.
That's the word for someone.
I hope that blesses whoever that's for.
I think it's for multiple people.
And hey, if y'all don't know this,
you'll learn it
when you come to our prophetic ministry nights,
if you come.
Did you know that when there's a word released prophetically
that if you resonate with that,
you can reach up and grab that sucker.
Yes, yes.
I take words all the time.
I'm like, thank you, Jesus.
That was so good.
Not that I'm taking it from someone else.
Guess what you all,
there's an abundance of availability.
And if God gives it to me,
it doesn't mean you don't get it.
If we have scarcity mentality,
here's another thing.
Guess where that's rooted in y'all?
Orphan mindsets.
Ooh, limiting belief systems.
Didn't mean to bring that up
right before we log off tonight,
but there it is.
Y'all, I have so much fun.
I do.
I love it.
God knows what you need,
when you need it,
and he knows how to get it to you.
Some of you all are still really struggling
with orphan mentalities and scarcity mindsets.
Ooh.
Yeah, Jesus.
Guess what?
Here's the reality.
The kingdom,
God has a banquet table.
And y'all.
All are invited.
You're all invited.
We're all invited.
Everything that you need,
I'm not saying everything you want.
You all, I wanted to marry the girl's dad.
Praise Jesus, God did not allow that
because he loved me enough
to know that I literally would have ruined my life again
and probably worse than the first time
when I married my prior husband.
Because God loves us,
sometimes he doesn't answer our prayers,
even when we beg and plead for it.
So I'm not saying from that perspective,
but what I want you to know is all the healing that you need
is available to you, all of it.
Yeah, God's not holding back healing
because you're not good enough.
So I don't know who's believing that,
but again, I'm just releasing what I'm hearing.
Some of you actually believe you're too far gone
and that you've messed up too many times
or that you're undeserving.
And he says, no, that is not true.
You're all welcome to come and sit at the table.
He's coming with the first aid kit for everyone.
So I'm willing to linger for a few minutes
because this is something people needed.
So I don't know, again, who it's for,
but I trust the Holy Spirit.
He knows what he's doing better than I do.
Your activation this week, you all, is two things.
I only gave one this afternoon,
but I feel like we need to do the mirror one again.
Even if you did it a couple of weeks ago when I issued it,
I want to encourage you to stand in front of the mirror
and pay attention to what you're thinking.
I want you to start thanking your body.
Here, I'm going to be real real and transparent again.
My brothers who sexually abused me
used to make fun of my boobs because I didn't have any,
is what they told me.
And then my mom would buy me bras and underwear
and force me to open them in front of them
when I was younger.
She didn't know at the time what happened,
but still, why would you make your teenage kid,
I love my mom, I do, you all,
but some of the stuff that happened, crazy.
Why am I bringing that up right now?
Well, because y'all, my whole life,
I just wanted big boobs and I was never happy with myself.
And some of y'all have, you're more busty.
My spiritual daughter, the younger of the three,
she's more busty and she doesn't like that either.
And it's a crazy, it's like, no,
but can we just all agree this week
that we're going to start to be happy with what God gave us
and know that he didn't make a mistake with you?
And if you don't feel that yet, that's all right.
God will help you get there in your own time.
But let's start with thanking him for,
yep, I'm going to encourage you to thank him
for the body parts you have.
I'm going to encourage you to thank him
for the body parts you don't like, specifically.
So if you don't like your nose, God, thank you for my nose.
Thank you for the way that you made my nose.
If you don't like your eyes, whatever it is, y'all.
I talked about a couple of different examples.
You can go with whatever's going on with you,
but thank him for the parts
that you don't like about yourself.
And some of y'all might be like, I love myself.
Praise the Lord if that is you.
I love you.
I wish I was there.
I'm not, I'm still in process.
But genuinely, if some of you all, that's not you,
you can just thank him for whatever you feel led to do.
Here's activation number two.
I want to encourage you to do a root drawing.
And what I mean by that is,
y'all don't have to be artists, okay?
But you're just going to draw like a tree trunk
with some roots and you're going to label your roots.
And here's what I want you to do.
I want you to label roots that are not healthy right now,
that God revealed to you tonight or this week.
I want you to label ones that maybe he started revealing
a few weeks ago or this last week or whatever,
and you're already starting to heal
and that's starting to be transformed into healthier.
And then I want you to label the good roots.
So areas where you already are healed,
that those areas are producing good fruit, okay?
And I want you just to be able to look at this stuff.
And again, even the roots that are unhealthy,
remember, you don't have to stay there.
We're becoming something new every day, right?
That's what I started with tonight. All right, you all let me pray us out. I know it's a lot
confession and repentance week and identity isn't easy you all, but we made it and we're going to
continue to heal and grow and be set free in mighty, mighty ways. Please show up in the group.
If y'all haven't noticed, people are sharing more in the group and it's been really powerful.
Keep showing up, cheer each other on, engage with each other. Y'all, there are some kinks in the
app. Okay. I'm just going to own it. We're working on it. If you have trouble seeing post, just know
we're in contact with our app developer. We're trying to figure out what's going on there,
but just pray, pray for our technology. We're trying to bring a solution and we've hit some
technology bumps. So we need prayer for that. All right. Let me pray. Oh, that's all right. Y'all,
that would be wonderful. I'll always receive prayer, but y'all can pray for me and our team
throughout the week. We love, we love when our team and our people pray. This is about the,
this movement's about ownership. Y'all can take ownership and become a part of a movement,
not just be here for a moment in a season in your life. That's up to you. And some people
come and go, and that's totally fine too. All right. Let me pray for us. Father. Thank you.
Yeah. Lord, thank you for healing. Thank you for grace. Thank you for truth revealed tonight. We
thank you that you're going to take everything that's in darkness and bring it to light and do
season so that we can be set free and delivered by the power of the Holy spirit. We thank you,
Lord, that you're going to bring joy unspeakable and full of glory into our lives. That that's not
just something we hear about, but God in a deep and abiding love, a deep and abiding joy that
would just literally begin to percolate up out of us and kind of come out like a river of living
water. We thank you, God, that you'll help us to continue to just confess and repent for areas
where we have sinned, where we have fallen short of your glory, Lord, and that we would come out
of alignment with those sin patterns or negative thinking and all the things that don't align with
your heart for us. Help us Jesus to apply the blood to every area that we would. Yeah. Forgive
ourselves, forgive others, and choose to receive the fullness of your love a little bit more this
week in Jesus name. Amen. God bless you all. We love you and we look forward to seeing you in
the group. Have a great week, everyone. Bye. Thank you. Bye-bye.