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I, hold on one second.

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So the next day, I got, so every morning I pray, Father, what can I do, how can I demonstrate

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my faith today?

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And so the next day, I got my dad's name, share your faith with your dad.

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And so, you know, that day we got on, I mean, we haven't been on a phone call, I've only

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seen him twice in 28 years.

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Oh, really?

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We got on a phone call for the first time in like 20 years.

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And it was, it was all Holy Spirit, because I'm like, well, I have, you know, I kind of

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shared my journey.

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And I said, I got a prayer that changed my life, I'd be happy to say if you want to repeat

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after me, he goes, Okay, and I'm just like, what, like, all right.

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And so he accepted Christ.

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And then I think it was like, maybe three weeks later, I brought my ex wife to cry,

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wife to crying.

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So I've just been, just been working, working the tree, working the tree.

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Let's do it.

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You're like, you're not just like John Maxwell, Jr., buddy.

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I'm doing my best, man.

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I'll take that as a compliment.

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Man, I'm so proud of you.

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Thank you.

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Wonderful to learn how to share your faith and do that.

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Amen.

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Amen.

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There's nothing better.

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There's nothing.

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There's nothing like it on the planet.

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Well, let me tell you something.

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I don't know what you do during your day, but if you do that, you've done the main thing.

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Everything else comes under that.

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That's for sure.

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But anyway, they told me that, so I got very excited when I thought, boy, I'm glad we got

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a little time together in Oklahoma City.

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Yeah, that was, it was awesome.

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It was very inspiring and so good.

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So good to be with your group today.

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How's everything going well for you and the group and the team?

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Things are great.

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We're just having a blast.

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Got our all-stars on here and super excited for you.

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We goofed up on our end.

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We told them you were last week, so they showed up last week so excited.

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They've been excited for a week, John.

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And so they're fired up for sure.

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Do you want to start us in prayer?

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Is that okay?

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Oh, yeah.

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I'd be glad to.

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It'd be delightful.

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Thanks, Father, for our time together.

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It's always so good just to share, share what we're learning, how we're growing, how we're

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changing, improving our lives, doing our very best to be a good steward of all the opportunities

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and the gifts that you give us.

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And I pray over the group now that there'll be something that I say today that'll just

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resonate in such a way that it begins to be a little bit of a life changer for them.

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So may we learn, apply, lean in, and may this be a day that just kind of sets us off

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to another level.

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That will give you praise and we thank you.

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Amen.

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Amen.

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Awesome.

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Well, I'm delighted to be with you.

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Are we all ready?

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Huh?

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Give me a hands up or something.

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Are we ready?

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Yeah, you're ready.

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I can tell.

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Vanessa or Rebecca, can we highlight John just so he's like the speaker or whatever

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that term is?

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There we go.

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Usually, Ray, they want to black me out.

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I don't think so.

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We okay?

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Okay.

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Well, let's rock.

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Well, I'm ready to go and let me teach a while and then let's do some Q&A.

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And if you'll remember, I'm doing a part two today.

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In our last session, I did a lesson called leadership landmines and I started off and

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I gave you four and I'm going to review those leadership landmines in a moment.

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Let me just say this.

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You've heard me talk about my book line, the books I still want to write, but I haven't

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yet written.

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And I have 13 in my book line right now.

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And as I was looking at the lesson this morning, getting ready to teach part two of it, I realized

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this book, leadership landmines, I'm going to write a book called leadership landmines

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because I watch a lot of leaders kind of blow themselves up, you know, kind of walking through

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the leadership field and all of a sudden, you know, boom, and there they go.

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But this is, I'm going to write this book, but this has been in my line, in my book line

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to write longer than any other book.

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And so I started doing my research, I said, okay, I wonder, I wonder how long this has

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been in the book line.

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This has been in my book line over 20 years that I've wanted to write this book.

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I just haven't gotten to it.

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And let me tell you why.

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Probably the main reason is I love the title leadership landmines, but it's also kind of

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a negative title.

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And sometimes negative titles don't really do well because, you know, it's,

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It's like failure.

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When I wrote my first failure book,

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we all started laughing and said,

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maybe we need to put it in a brown bag

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and sell it to people that way

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so they can walk out of the bookstore, you know,

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because who wants to have a book on failure?

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Well, who wants to have a hold of the book

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on leadership landmines?

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It's a kind of a documentary on your life.

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And, you know, well, I'm trying to keep

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from not step on the landmines,

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but it is going to be written

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because as I'm working the lesson, reworking it,

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because I keep reworking it,

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I said to myself, this has got to get out to people

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because I watch every landmine I'm going to give you,

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I could give you case studies of leaders

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who have stepped on it.

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And so anyway, let me give you the review.

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So we're about to part.

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Last, our last session last month,

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I talked about four leadership landmines.

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Let's review them quickly.

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Number one is today's success.

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So many times successful people and leaders,

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they get successful and then they try

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to live off of yesterday

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and they try to camp out on success.

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And they wonder why they stopped growing

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and stopped being vibrant and relevant

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and lost their passion.

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So I always tell people,

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the good news is you're having success today.

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The bad news is the success you have today

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won't last for tomorrow.

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You can't live off of it.

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I think it was Rick Warren,

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it was the first time I ever heard it said,

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but it is so true that the greatest detriment

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of tomorrow's success is today's success.

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And I think that's very true

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because we have just a tendency

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to kind of want to prop up what we have done well in

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and we want to kind of hold it.

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There's a tendency that we want to kind of like conserve

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what we're doing really well.

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And that is a very natural kind of response

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that all of us have.

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Oh, I'm doing it well, then I need to keep doing it.

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Well, we may want to keep doing what we do

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because we do it well,

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but we have to keep improving what we do

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or it won't continue to grow and be vibrant

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and have a persuasion to it.

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The second leadership plan we talked about last time

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was losing touch with your people.

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Because what happens is success isolates us

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and separates us.

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And this is one of the things I greatly dislike

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about success is that I've watched it in my life,

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isolate me and separate me.

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I can remember when I first started off doing conferences

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and people would come to hear me,

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what I really loved more than anything else

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was the break time.

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And I loved the break time

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because I would get off the stage

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and I'd walk down on the floor

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and I'd have people come around

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and they'd ask questions and we'd just talk.

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And it was just kind of like,

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I got to connect with the people

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outside of a professional way,

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just in a real personal way.

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And I love that, love that, love that.

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And I can still remember the day when I went down

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and people had books in their hands.

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And all of a sudden now I have a book line

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and I'm signing books.

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And I thought, oh, okay,

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now I'm not really getting the time

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I really wanted to just talk to them,

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just talk shop or just get to meet them.

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Now I'm signing books.

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And then I remember the day

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when it was starting to be pictures.

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Let's get pictures of him and sign a book.

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And what I'm just saying to you is success,

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it separates you.

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You have to be very intentional

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in not letting that happen.

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And so I worked hard.

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I worked very hard on intentionality.

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And so I always ask myself,

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when I see these problems happening,

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I always ask myself one simple thing.

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And that is, oh my gosh,

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how do I close that gap?

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And you close that gap by saying to yourself continually,

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I want friends, not fans.

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And boy, when I hear speakers,

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I can tell them what I call the fanboys and the fangirls.

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And I can tell the ones who want to be my friend,

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there's a lot of difference in that.

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And so, but it's success separates you.

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It just does.

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It, in fact, people separate from you sometimes

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because of success.

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So you gotta be very intentional,

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but you gotta keep closing the gap.

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You gotta walk slowly through the crowd.

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The third landmine that I watched happen

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with leaders is the betrayal of trust.

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It's, trust is the foundation of leadership.

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It's, there's no,

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there is no leadership connection without trust.

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And the moment that trust is broken,

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now people, instead of wanting to follow you,

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they want to,

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to ask questions about you. And when people have more questions about you than excitement to follow

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you, you're starting to get in turf that you don't want to be in. You're now walking through the

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field and you're getting close to some of those landmines. And so what I always tell leaders is

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that your most important responsibility is to always have trust with your people and never

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lose that credibility. You do everything in your power to be trustworthy. And I love that word,

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trustworthy. A lot of people want trust because they have a title. They don't deserve trust

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because they have a title or a position that you don't deserve it because of that. You deserve

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trust because you're trustworthy, which means you've been proven to be a person that's credible,

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authentic, and is just going to follow up on what they say they're going to follow up and

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be who they say they're going to be. And so that's just absolutely huge. And then the fourth one that

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we talked about was a landmine that people have in the leadership field. It's just failure to

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think realistically. Realistic thinking is the foundation of great dreams. And I never heard

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anybody talk about that. I never hear anybody combine realism with dreaming. It's almost like

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if you're going to dream, you can't be realistic. And if you're going to be realistic, you can't

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dream. And that is not true at all. The foundation of all great dreams of all great entrepreneurs,

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things that are going to grow and build and be prosperous, is realism. The first responsibility

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of a leader is to define reality, not their dream, to define where you are. You have to have that

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foundation. And the more realistic you are about your foundation, the higher your dream can go.

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When I wrote a book several years ago, and you know, Ray, I've written a lot of books.

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Every once in a while, I'll go back to one of them and I'll say that book is a life changer.

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And probably about 10 years ago, 11 years ago, I wrote a book called Put Your Dream to the Test.

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And if I was in any kind of direct marketing organization, the first book I'd put in somebody's

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hand is that book, because what happens is people, they've never tested their dream,

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so they haven't validated it. They think their emotion validates their dream, and it doesn't.

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They think their passion validates their dream, and it doesn't.

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You have to have solid reasons for wanting to pursue your dream.

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And here's what I discovered, and here's what makes this book good.

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The more valid reasons you have to achieve a dream, the greater the odds are that you will.

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So let's say I have six good reasons to achieve a dream.

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Well, during, you know, dreams are free. So, you know, dreams are quite trite.

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So when people talk about dreams, I let them talk and say, I wonder if they'll ever get any,

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I wonder if they'll ever get to anything solid, or they're just going to live in

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fantasy land all their life. So when they get to dreams, the first question I want to ask them is,

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how many valid reasons do you have to achieve that dream in your life?

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Because the dream's free, but the journey's not. You pay for the journey. The reason people lose

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the dream is not because the dream's not valid. They lose the dream because they all of a sudden

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they realize how much it costs. It's a price problem. It's always a price problem. So what

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happens in this is that when they start moving in their dream and taking the journey, the price

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starts to appear. You can't go long on free. Real quickly, free disappears and you got to pay

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something. And that's when people start to get in their dilemma. Oh my gosh, I didn't realize it

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would take this long. Wow. Nobody ever told me that there'd be this many challenges. I had no,

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okay, of course, all that stuff. Well, you know what they're all the problems are?

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They're problems are dealing with one issue. They're not realistic. And so therefore they

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have unrealistic desires on a dream that is not going to come to pass because they

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never ever had realism as the core of why they have the dream. Now watch this though.

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If in my journey, I start moving and in this journey, the price begins to go high and I go,

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oh my gosh, I didn't realize this. Oh, I, you mean, you mean I'm going to, it's going to take

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this much time. You mean it's going to cost this much money. Now watch what happens.

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If I only have one valid reason to achieve a dream, only one, listen to me carefully.

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I'll let the dream go.

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The price will kill the reason, just a matter of time.

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But let's say I have a half a dozen reasons for that dream.

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Here comes a price.

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Boom, out goes one of my reasons.

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I still have five.

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Boom, oh, I still got four.

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You see, all those reasons that validate my dream

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have to be knocked out before I give it up.

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So I have to make sure that I have good, valid reasons

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for why I'm doing something.

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And it has to be more than one.

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And this is true in life in every area.

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So when people talk to me about their career path

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or where they're going to go, I love

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to listen to it a little bit.

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Not a lot, to be honest with you.

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People wear me out.

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Hype wears me out.

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Dreamy people wear me out.

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They all wear me out.

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I just look at them and say, I've

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never known a hypey person exceed and excel very much

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in anything unless they had something solid beneath them.

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Cheerleading is good for a gay, but then put the pom-pom down

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and go home.

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You've got to have something much more than just that.

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But when they start, so when they're finished

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with their dream, then I want to pursue, OK, now

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tell me why that dream is so important to you.

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And I want to hear it.

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And let me say one other quick thing on that.

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And I'm going to get into these landmines.

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Trust me, I'm getting there.

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If I find that the dream is mainly for them,

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I could almost always guarantee them that they'll not make it.

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Because dreams aren't supposed to be for us.

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They're supposed to be for others.

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And there has to be a purpose greater than John Maxwell.

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There has to be a reason greater than John Maxwell.

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It's got to always be bigger than JM.

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If it's just JM, it's probably narcissistic.

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And it's probably going to wear down pretty, pretty quick.

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And here's why.

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Don't miss this.

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Dear God, don't miss this.

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There is nobody interested in making you a success.

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So get over it.

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When people tell me they're going to write a book,

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I just go crazy.

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Because everybody wants to write a book.

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Dear Lord, they're wearing me out.

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Because they say, oh, I've got a story to tell.

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Well, that's good.

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Your mom will buy it.

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You've got two cousins will buy it.

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You've got a neighbor beside you that'll buy it.

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Now you've sold seven books.

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What are you going to do with the rest of them?

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You don't have a story to tell.

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You may have a story to share.

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But that story is going to have to connect with other people

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that are reading the book.

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And so again, everything you do has

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got to be for one reason only.

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And that is it adds value to other people.

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The moment that people know that everything you do

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is to add value to them, they're going to follow you like crazy.

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Now you've got a valid reason.

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That valid reason keeps you in the game.

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Everything I do, somebody says, well, what's your life like?

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Well, my life's very simple.

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Every day I get up and I intentionally

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figure out how I'm going to add value to people.

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That's all I do every day.

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Every day you say, John, that's all you do.

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That's all I do every day.

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Every day I just, how am I going to,

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Ray, how am I going to intentionally add value to you

348
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and your group today?

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This consumes me.

350
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Because can I tell you something?

351
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It has nothing to do with me.

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It has everything to do with you.

353
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And as long as I stay on you, we're going to do well.

354
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The moment I get on me, we're not going to do well.

355
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So when I listen to leaders and they're complaining

356
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and moaning and crying, honest to God,

357
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again, they wear me out.

358
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You can't moan and leave at the same time.

359
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So figure it out.

360
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Now, do I have moaning days?

361
00:18:37.720 --> 00:18:40.320
Of course I do, but I know how to moan alone.

362
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I tell people, why don't you moan alone?

363
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That won't bother the rest of us.

364
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I mean, how many of you have ever been attracted

365
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to a moaning leader?

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How many of you ever said, you know,

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I want to sit down with Maxwell

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because he's going to complain again.

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And I think if I listen to him long enough,

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he'll discourage my soul.

371
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I think he'll make me want to give up too.

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I just can hardly wait to get around him.

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You have got to get rid of, excuse me, that bullshit.

374
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You have got to get rid of that.

375
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That stuff doesn't work at all.

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Can I tell you, the only person that cares about that

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is you.

378
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And when you're the only person that cares about it,

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one is too small of a number.

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We have got to constantly understand

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that we have to have realism in our thinking about our life

382
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and about our dreams and our journey and where we're going.

383
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And if it won't stand the test of hard questions,

384
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realistic questions and accountability,

385
00:19:37.520 --> 00:19:38.720
then I don't know what you got,

386
00:19:38.720 --> 00:19:41.400
but you don't have enough to get where you want to go.

387
00:19:41.400 --> 00:19:43.880
So those are the four leadership landmines

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I talked about last time.

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Today's success, losing touch with people,

390
00:19:49.280 --> 00:19:52.960
betrayal of trust, failure to think realistically.

391
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Let's go to landmine number five.

392
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This happens all the time.

393
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Again, I can give you a case study.

394
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.000
on every one of these landmines on people that I know, they blew up.

395
00:20:04.360 --> 00:20:06.760
They're not in the game at all. They're not in the leadership game at all.

396
00:20:07.280 --> 00:20:10.360
They're not in the leadership game, not because they didn't have a valid game.

397
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They're not in the leadership game because they stepped on these landmines.

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Number five, inconsistency between saying

399
00:20:19.480 --> 00:20:20.320
and doing.

400
00:20:21.760 --> 00:20:26.320
The moment you and I are inconsistent between what we say and what we do,

401
00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:30.120
we lose credibility with the people around us immediately.

402
00:20:32.920 --> 00:20:35.920
I love what a guy named Featherstone wrote one time. He said,

403
00:20:35.920 --> 00:20:36.720
leaders tell,

404
00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:39.760
but never teach until they practice what they preach.

405
00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:44.280
And he's just exactly right. Here's the best way to visually get a hold of this,

406
00:20:44.400 --> 00:20:47.840
this concept. Okay. In your mind, just do an equation.

407
00:20:48.960 --> 00:20:52.720
Pint equal gallon. Let me explain what I mean there.

408
00:20:52.760 --> 00:20:54.600
Pint equal gallon.

409
00:20:55.920 --> 00:21:00.880
A pint of example is worth a gallon of advice.

410
00:21:02.440 --> 00:21:06.680
So whatever you're leading, mentoring, teaching people,

411
00:21:07.720 --> 00:21:12.560
you've got to very quickly teach them out of the life that you

412
00:21:12.560 --> 00:21:16.360
live. Not that the advice that you just give.

413
00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:22.400
And I, I, I realize this, I'm very,

414
00:21:22.400 --> 00:21:27.400
I'm very grateful. I was in, uh, Ray, I was probably 24.

415
00:21:27.520 --> 00:21:31.680
I would, I was, I had, I'd just been speaking a few years and,

416
00:21:31.680 --> 00:21:34.760
and all of a sudden, because, because I started off as a pastor, as you know.

417
00:21:35.520 --> 00:21:37.720
And so what do they do? They speak all the time.

418
00:21:39.240 --> 00:21:44.120
And so I got up and I spoke every week and it didn't take me long at all

419
00:21:44.120 --> 00:21:48.800
to realize that my speaking had a short lifespan

420
00:21:49.160 --> 00:21:51.920
if it wasn't followed up by my actions.

421
00:21:53.160 --> 00:21:56.760
So here's the way this works. When people don't know you,

422
00:21:57.000 --> 00:22:00.200
what you say is important to them. In fact,

423
00:22:00.200 --> 00:22:04.120
they buy into it because they don't know. But when people know you,

424
00:22:05.640 --> 00:22:10.600
the only way you're speaking will have more moral authority and

425
00:22:10.600 --> 00:22:14.360
more credibility is if you follow up with your actions,

426
00:22:14.800 --> 00:22:16.400
the moment people know you,

427
00:22:17.080 --> 00:22:21.800
your speaking goes into second place and your actions go into first

428
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place. Never, ever miss this.

429
00:22:25.840 --> 00:22:27.600
So what happens is very simple.

430
00:22:28.320 --> 00:22:33.240
I watch and leaders who speak great leadership truth,

431
00:22:33.680 --> 00:22:37.600
but they don't live a great leadership life.

432
00:22:38.520 --> 00:22:41.560
In the beginning speaking, they take it face value,

433
00:22:42.320 --> 00:22:45.640
but leadership is visual. It's not audio.

434
00:22:46.360 --> 00:22:50.360
It's a visual, it's a visual ministry. It's a visual life.

435
00:22:50.760 --> 00:22:53.560
An example is the key. So here's the way it works.

436
00:22:54.200 --> 00:22:58.240
If I'm saying and not doing my leadership is going to be temporary with the

437
00:22:58.240 --> 00:23:01.240
people. It won't last long because after a while they just say,

438
00:23:01.840 --> 00:23:03.880
he's just talking right now. He doesn't do that.

439
00:23:05.040 --> 00:23:07.000
If my leadership is doing,

440
00:23:07.000 --> 00:23:11.840
but I don't say my leadership will be incomplete because I won't be

441
00:23:11.840 --> 00:23:14.440
carrying the message and backing it up.

442
00:23:14.960 --> 00:23:18.400
But when I'm saying and doing it, when I'm saying it and I'm doing it,

443
00:23:18.640 --> 00:23:23.560
it's ultimate leadership. And, and this is, this is essential.

444
00:23:25.400 --> 00:23:30.040
It's what I call the leadership dance.

445
00:23:31.720 --> 00:23:34.560
Leadership is not title. It is not position.

446
00:23:34.560 --> 00:23:39.080
It is not a place. Leadership is a verb. It's movement.

447
00:23:39.120 --> 00:23:43.400
It's not a noun. 90% of the people think it's a noun. I think, Oh,

448
00:23:43.400 --> 00:23:46.200
I got a leadership position the other day. I'm a leader. No, no, no.

449
00:23:46.200 --> 00:23:51.000
You just got a leadership position. Totally worthless. It means very little.

450
00:23:51.080 --> 00:23:51.640
It means very little.

451
00:23:51.640 --> 00:23:55.400
So quit getting excited about all this stuff that you get because it's not going

452
00:23:55.400 --> 00:24:00.080
to help you at all. But if you have the action, you're moving.

453
00:24:00.760 --> 00:24:03.040
And so when I lead my group,

454
00:24:03.840 --> 00:24:07.400
when I lead people, I'm moving all the time.

455
00:24:08.240 --> 00:24:11.880
Sometimes I'm leading them out in front. I'm before them.

456
00:24:12.760 --> 00:24:16.200
And when I'm out there in front before them, it's because they need an example.

457
00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:20.840
People do what people see. Sometimes I'm leading beside them.

458
00:24:21.880 --> 00:24:27.040
Why? Because they need to have conversation. They need, they have questions.

459
00:24:27.560 --> 00:24:31.800
They, they, they need, they need ebb and flow. I need to be beside them.

460
00:24:32.560 --> 00:24:35.760
Sometimes I'm leading behind them. Yeah. I'd let them go out front. Why?

461
00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:37.280
Because I'm empowering them.

462
00:24:37.560 --> 00:24:41.200
I got to find out if what I'm teaching they're really following up and learning.

463
00:24:41.640 --> 00:24:43.360
So I I'm behind them.

464
00:24:43.760 --> 00:24:47.240
Sometimes I lead below them because they need servanthood. They need,

465
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they need me to serve them for a while to really get there,

466
00:24:50.520 --> 00:24:51.800
to get up and enroll.

467
00:24:51.800 --> 00:24:55.040
And sometimes I'm leading above them because they need big picture. Now,

468
00:24:55.240 --> 00:24:58.280
what am I saying? Leaders are constantly moving.

469
00:24:58.280 --> 00:24:59.880
And why are they constantly moving?

470
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:05.520
because they realize leadership is more than just talking. It's also showing.

471
00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:11.280
Now, you got to ask yourself a very simple question.

472
00:25:13.280 --> 00:25:19.600
Am I going to be a tour guide or a travel agent? Because they're different. Both are needed,

473
00:25:20.400 --> 00:25:24.960
but they're very different. If you go to a travel agent, you say, you know, I'm going to

474
00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:31.280
go take a trip here, and we're getting ready to go take a great Steps of Paul trip in Greece.

475
00:25:32.160 --> 00:25:36.880
My gosh, I got my friend Pete Vargas in the studio with me right now, and Pete's going on

476
00:25:36.880 --> 00:25:40.560
the trip. Boy, we're looking forward to having both of them come with us anyway.

477
00:25:41.680 --> 00:25:46.000
See, if I'm a travel agent, what I do is I get Pete tickets and say, here are your tickets,

478
00:25:47.360 --> 00:25:54.240
have a great flight. It's highly probable as a travel agent, I've never been to Greece.

479
00:25:55.040 --> 00:26:00.880
I have no experience with Greece. I just give tickets to people and send them. You do not want

480
00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:07.040
to be a travel agent leader, and yet so many of them are. You want to be a tour guide leader,

481
00:26:08.400 --> 00:26:13.440
because when we get over in Greece, we're going to have tour guides that it is their whole life

482
00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:19.680
to walk the Steps of Paul. They've been there hundreds of times. They've told the story

483
00:26:19.680 --> 00:26:25.760
hundreds of times. They know everything. You could ask them questions. They have answers.

484
00:26:25.760 --> 00:26:31.520
They have all kinds of experiences to share and fun stories to tell you about, and you connect

485
00:26:31.520 --> 00:26:35.440
with them. Now, why do you connect with a tour guide? Because they're a tour guide. They're

486
00:26:35.440 --> 00:26:42.880
with you. Their actions are very important. What they say and what they do, they coordinate.

487
00:26:43.840 --> 00:26:49.760
Travel agent, you know, gosh, good luck. I've never been there. Hope it's a good trip. Hey,

488
00:26:49.760 --> 00:26:55.040
send me some pictures. I'd like to see what it looks like. So many leaders are travel guides

489
00:26:55.040 --> 00:27:02.080
instead of tour guides. Why? Because what they're saying and what they're doing is not consistent.

490
00:27:03.680 --> 00:27:11.840
So we get always into the practical landmine section here. How do we avoid this inconsistency

491
00:27:11.840 --> 00:27:17.520
landmine we're saying and doing don't match up? Okay. Remember, number one, every time when I

492
00:27:17.520 --> 00:27:21.440
tell you how to keep from stepping on these landmines, remember, number one is always the

493
00:27:21.440 --> 00:27:26.880
same on every landmine. Always the same. And what is it? You got to recognize the landmine.

494
00:27:27.920 --> 00:27:34.160
You got to know what it is. It's like when I took a tour with the generals when I was in Israel,

495
00:27:34.160 --> 00:27:40.080
and they took me beyond where they took the tourists. And we literally went to the very tip,

496
00:27:40.080 --> 00:27:45.920
the very end of Golan Heights. And we'd pass the landmine fields and it points it out. There

497
00:27:45.920 --> 00:27:49.760
are landmines in there. Know what they were doing? They're saying, I want you to recognize,

498
00:27:49.760 --> 00:27:54.080
you don't want to walk over there. This is not a good place to walk. So every landmine,

499
00:27:54.080 --> 00:27:59.840
the first thing to avoid getting on it is to understand what it is. And this one is inconsistency.

500
00:28:00.480 --> 00:28:09.280
Number two, before you speak, ask yourself, am I doing this? That's a great question.

501
00:28:10.080 --> 00:28:15.280
Before you teach on a subject, ask yourself, do you live the subject? That's a fair question.

502
00:28:16.800 --> 00:28:21.360
If you don't live the subject, but you think it needs to be taught, you got to let the people

503
00:28:21.360 --> 00:28:28.320
know. I'm young. I'm inexperienced. I haven't done this yet, but this is what I know I need to be

504
00:28:28.320 --> 00:28:35.040
doing. And you have to begin to flesh out and be living the experience itself. So before speaking,

505
00:28:35.040 --> 00:28:41.040
ask yourself, am I doing this? And before doing, ask yourself, am I teaching this so that I can

506
00:28:41.040 --> 00:28:48.480
teach it to others? And do I use personal examples when I speak? That's where all the credibility and

507
00:28:48.480 --> 00:28:56.960
gravitas comes from. And do I speak about my weaknesses? That's huge. I don't really care to

508
00:28:56.960 --> 00:29:02.240
hear speakers speak unless they talk about the areas that they haven't yet conquered, you know,

509
00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:10.720
places they need to go, people they need to see. And then do I say, follow me, which are the greatest

510
00:29:10.720 --> 00:29:16.800
words a leader can have? Or do I say, you go do it? There's a lot of difference between sending the

511
00:29:16.800 --> 00:29:24.240
people and taking the people with them. Show the people, don't just send them. Good. Let's go to

512
00:29:24.480 --> 00:29:30.800
leadership. Let's go to leadership landmine number six. Gosh, I'm loving watching you take notes. You

513
00:29:30.800 --> 00:29:36.640
just lean in so well. Ray, I just want you to know, I really look forward every time to mentoring

514
00:29:36.640 --> 00:29:41.280
your group because they're just, they're like you. They are, you know, like, of course, they're like

515
00:29:41.280 --> 00:29:47.040
you because you're the leader, but they're like you. They have such a passion to improve their

516
00:29:47.040 --> 00:29:52.160
life and get better. And it's obvious and so fun. So let's go to landmine number six.

517
00:29:54.560 --> 00:29:59.680
Leadership landmine number six is when you advance in position.

518
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.520
but not in personal growth.

519
00:30:02.520 --> 00:30:06.160
In other words, they just gave you a,

520
00:30:06.160 --> 00:30:07.920
I don't know, a promotion.

521
00:30:07.920 --> 00:30:09.400
We like promotions, don't we?

522
00:30:09.400 --> 00:30:10.700
They gave you a promotion.

523
00:30:13.400 --> 00:30:15.200
Hey, listen to me.

524
00:30:15.200 --> 00:30:16.560
But they gave it to you.

525
00:30:17.880 --> 00:30:18.840
You didn't earn it.

526
00:30:20.360 --> 00:30:21.400
They gave it to you.

527
00:30:24.560 --> 00:30:27.240
So let's talk about this for a moment, okay?

528
00:30:27.240 --> 00:30:31.160
Because if you're just advancing in position,

529
00:30:31.160 --> 00:30:33.320
in other words, you just got a new title

530
00:30:33.320 --> 00:30:35.800
or you just got a new desk or a new office,

531
00:30:35.800 --> 00:30:36.640
I don't know what you got new,

532
00:30:36.640 --> 00:30:40.080
but you say, oh, I'm advancing, I'm doing better.

533
00:30:40.080 --> 00:30:40.900
Okay.

534
00:30:43.820 --> 00:30:45.520
You've got to understand this.

535
00:30:45.520 --> 00:30:46.400
This is huge.

536
00:30:48.760 --> 00:30:53.640
You have to, okay, don't miss this.

537
00:30:53.640 --> 00:30:56.720
You have to grow into your next position,

538
00:30:56.760 --> 00:30:59.600
not go into your next position.

539
00:31:01.840 --> 00:31:03.840
And there's a difference between growing into it

540
00:31:03.840 --> 00:31:05.680
and going into it.

541
00:31:05.680 --> 00:31:07.920
See, if you grow into it,

542
00:31:09.060 --> 00:31:11.320
it's okay to be over your head

543
00:31:11.320 --> 00:31:14.360
because you grew up, you're gonna grow into it

544
00:31:14.360 --> 00:31:15.540
because you've already been growing.

545
00:31:15.540 --> 00:31:18.480
So over your head, a growing person over your head

546
00:31:18.480 --> 00:31:21.120
is not a problem because you're used to being over your head

547
00:31:21.120 --> 00:31:23.320
and growing into it.

548
00:31:23.320 --> 00:31:26.500
But it's not okay to be over your head

549
00:31:27.280 --> 00:31:28.460
if you've been given that next position

550
00:31:28.460 --> 00:31:30.060
because you don't know what to do.

551
00:31:31.100 --> 00:31:32.540
You haven't grown.

552
00:31:32.540 --> 00:31:34.540
So, hey, if you're over your head

553
00:31:34.540 --> 00:31:36.100
and you've been given a new position,

554
00:31:36.100 --> 00:31:39.020
what makes you think you're gonna do good at it?

555
00:31:39.020 --> 00:31:40.980
Because you don't know how to grow.

556
00:31:40.980 --> 00:31:43.020
You don't know how to develop yourself.

557
00:31:43.020 --> 00:31:46.080
See, okay, if I grow into it,

558
00:31:46.080 --> 00:31:47.980
I'm over my head temporarily.

559
00:31:47.980 --> 00:31:50.860
If I go into it, I'm over my head permanently.

560
00:31:51.860 --> 00:31:54.140
You want your growth to be a lifestyle.

561
00:31:54.140 --> 00:31:55.940
You don't want it to be based upon

562
00:31:55.940 --> 00:31:58.020
something that you were given.

563
00:31:58.020 --> 00:31:59.820
See, if I grow into it,

564
00:31:59.820 --> 00:32:02.740
I'll seek mentors and answers to help me.

565
00:32:02.740 --> 00:32:06.460
If I go into it, I'll avoid mentors and answers

566
00:32:06.460 --> 00:32:08.980
because those people make me nervous

567
00:32:08.980 --> 00:32:11.460
because they already know things I don't know

568
00:32:11.460 --> 00:32:14.300
and I'm intimidated by it, wow.

569
00:32:14.300 --> 00:32:16.940
See, if I grow into that level, guess what?

570
00:32:16.940 --> 00:32:18.100
I'm gonna grow to the next level

571
00:32:18.100 --> 00:32:18.940
and grow to the next level.

572
00:32:19.060 --> 00:32:19.900
Guess what?

573
00:32:19.900 --> 00:32:20.820
I'm gonna grow to the next level

574
00:32:20.820 --> 00:32:23.300
and grow to the next level because I'm growing.

575
00:32:23.300 --> 00:32:27.420
I'm being promoted because of my growth.

576
00:32:27.420 --> 00:32:29.260
But this is huge.

577
00:32:31.300 --> 00:32:34.020
When I was very young in my 30s,

578
00:32:34.020 --> 00:32:36.900
I was asked to write a commentary

579
00:32:36.900 --> 00:32:38.260
on the book of Deuteronomy.

580
00:32:39.140 --> 00:32:41.700
Now, commentaries for a pastor are very huge

581
00:32:41.700 --> 00:32:44.780
because they explain the Bible.

582
00:32:44.780 --> 00:32:47.700
And for a young kid, I mean, all the other people,

583
00:32:47.700 --> 00:32:49.100
they had different people writing

584
00:32:49.100 --> 00:32:51.260
different books of the Bible.

585
00:32:51.260 --> 00:32:52.900
And I was the only kid in my 30s.

586
00:32:52.900 --> 00:32:54.780
All of those, most of them were in their 60s

587
00:32:54.780 --> 00:32:57.500
and some were in their 70s, few were in their 80s.

588
00:32:57.500 --> 00:32:59.140
So I'm a kid.

589
00:32:59.140 --> 00:33:01.780
And Deuteronomy is a difficult Old Testament book.

590
00:33:01.780 --> 00:33:04.700
And I studied Greek in college,

591
00:33:04.700 --> 00:33:06.740
but I hadn't studied Hebrew.

592
00:33:06.740 --> 00:33:07.620
And it's Hebrew.

593
00:33:08.780 --> 00:33:10.340
So you know what I had to do?

594
00:33:10.340 --> 00:33:13.620
I had to hire a Hebrew professor

595
00:33:14.580 --> 00:33:18.660
for one year and a half, every Saturday,

596
00:33:18.660 --> 00:33:21.060
from eight o'clock to two o'clock,

597
00:33:21.060 --> 00:33:25.220
Bill Yarkin and I, a Hebrew guy, a Hebrew professor

598
00:33:25.220 --> 00:33:27.260
from Fuller Seminary would sit down with me

599
00:33:27.260 --> 00:33:28.660
and taught me Hebrew.

600
00:33:28.660 --> 00:33:29.700
Now, why was that?

601
00:33:29.700 --> 00:33:32.140
Because I had to grow in the level

602
00:33:32.140 --> 00:33:33.900
that I was going to write about.

603
00:33:34.980 --> 00:33:36.580
There was no other way to do it.

604
00:33:37.340 --> 00:33:39.580
See, don't miss this.

605
00:33:39.580 --> 00:33:40.420
Do not miss this.

606
00:33:40.420 --> 00:33:43.580
So many people, if they go to the next level,

607
00:33:44.420 --> 00:33:45.460
they're not used to paying that kind of price.

608
00:33:45.460 --> 00:33:47.500
They're not used to humbling themselves

609
00:33:47.500 --> 00:33:48.820
and saying, I gotta find people

610
00:33:48.820 --> 00:33:50.500
that can help me in this area.

611
00:33:50.500 --> 00:33:54.940
And so therefore, they just flounder at that area.

612
00:33:54.940 --> 00:33:57.820
And they just, they're stuck, they're stuck.

613
00:33:57.820 --> 00:33:59.460
And they never can continue going

614
00:33:59.460 --> 00:34:02.420
because they've made going to the next level

615
00:34:02.420 --> 00:34:05.060
a lifestyle instead of growing to the next level.

616
00:34:05.060 --> 00:34:08.820
Now, how do you avoid this landmine?

617
00:34:09.940 --> 00:34:11.699
How do we avoid it?

618
00:34:11.699 --> 00:34:14.580
Well, we avoid it by, number one,

619
00:34:14.580 --> 00:34:16.179
recognizing the landmine again.

620
00:34:16.179 --> 00:34:19.820
And number two, you gotta start growing right now.

621
00:34:21.380 --> 00:34:23.100
I don't even know what to tell you

622
00:34:23.100 --> 00:34:24.260
except to tell you today

623
00:34:24.260 --> 00:34:26.860
you need to start intentionally growing.

624
00:34:26.860 --> 00:34:29.020
You need to grow where you are

625
00:34:29.020 --> 00:34:31.020
and you need to grow the people around you

626
00:34:31.020 --> 00:34:34.420
and you need to grow in the areas of your responsibility.

627
00:34:34.420 --> 00:34:38.699
And you need to allow growth to be your promoter.

628
00:34:38.699 --> 00:34:40.580
The reason that you get promoted

629
00:34:40.620 --> 00:34:42.540
isn't because you even wanted the next job.

630
00:34:42.540 --> 00:34:45.300
You got the next job because you're just good at what you did

631
00:34:45.300 --> 00:34:46.980
and you keep growing to it.

632
00:34:49.060 --> 00:34:50.219
So people ask me, they'll say,

633
00:34:50.219 --> 00:34:52.860
well, are you gonna start another company?

634
00:34:52.860 --> 00:34:54.699
And I say, well, I don't know, I'm still growing,

635
00:34:54.699 --> 00:34:57.340
but the odds are pretty high I will

636
00:34:57.340 --> 00:34:59.380
because out of growth, I start companies.

637
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:07.200
you going to write any more books?" Well, yes, because I'm still growing. Somebody said,

638
00:35:08.160 --> 00:35:13.040
is your goal to write 100? I said, no, my goal isn't to write 100. My goal wasn't to write 10.

639
00:35:13.040 --> 00:35:18.240
I don't do goals. We'll talk to you about that in a moment. All I've ever wanted to do is grow.

640
00:35:19.200 --> 00:35:24.320
It's out of my growth I write books, not out of my goals. Goals don't give me any information. Goals

641
00:35:24.320 --> 00:35:30.000
don't teach me. Goals are destinations. It's out of my growth that all this happens.

642
00:35:31.040 --> 00:35:35.680
You know, when we trained 1 million leaders through Equip and became the largest

643
00:35:35.680 --> 00:35:40.480
leadership training organization in the world, people said, well, what are you going to do after

644
00:35:40.480 --> 00:35:45.120
you train a million leaders? I said, well, first of all, let me just say this, probably anything

645
00:35:45.120 --> 00:35:48.160
I want to do, because once you train leaders, you can do about anything you want to do.

646
00:35:49.120 --> 00:35:54.400
But so I kept growing. We trained 6 million leaders. Then we started transformation.

647
00:35:54.400 --> 00:36:00.240
This is huge. This is huge. Okay, I'm going to give you a book. If you don't have it, you need

648
00:36:00.240 --> 00:36:06.880
to get it. It's called Leadership. Let me tell you why you need to get this book. This is life

649
00:36:06.880 --> 00:36:11.040
changing. This is one of the books I wrote that this will just absolutely change your life.

650
00:36:12.000 --> 00:36:20.800
And it's the shifts that you need to make as a leader to keep growing. It is the, like somebody

651
00:36:20.800 --> 00:36:26.000
says, I need to challenge myself in personal leadership growth. Well, you get the leadership

652
00:36:26.000 --> 00:36:34.000
book. Hey, and chapter three is the chapter on how I shifted from goal setting to growth.

653
00:36:34.880 --> 00:36:39.680
Because I started off as a goal setter. By the way, I'm not anti-goals. I'm not anti-goals at

654
00:36:39.840 --> 00:36:44.400
all. I mean, if you have some goals, it's wonderful. That isn't my issue.

655
00:36:46.480 --> 00:36:50.080
In the beginning, I was very goal-oriented. In fact, my first personal growth kit

656
00:36:50.080 --> 00:36:55.520
was a goal setting kit. So I learned to set goals very early. But what I began to understand was

657
00:36:56.400 --> 00:36:59.680
that if you set a goal and you hit it, the next question you ask is, what do I do now?

658
00:37:01.040 --> 00:37:05.200
If you're asking the question, what do I do now? It means that you have completed something

659
00:37:05.200 --> 00:37:10.960
and you were not anticipating growing to the next thing. Remember this, you don't leave something,

660
00:37:10.960 --> 00:37:16.480
you go to something. Goals make you leave something to go to something. Don't do that.

661
00:37:16.480 --> 00:37:22.160
That's not what you want. And so I became growth-oriented. And in that chapter three in

662
00:37:22.160 --> 00:37:26.960
leadership, I talk about, it's called the personal development shift I've made in my life. I talk

663
00:37:26.960 --> 00:37:32.800
about how to go from a goal-oriented culture to a growth-oriented culture. Because for example,

664
00:37:32.800 --> 00:37:37.520
in a goal-oriented culture, they value achievement. In a growth-oriented culture,

665
00:37:37.520 --> 00:37:42.640
they value development. There's a lot of difference between value and achievement and development.

666
00:37:42.640 --> 00:37:48.880
By the way, I have a warehouse of awards. I mean, I've got trophies and plaques and

667
00:37:48.880 --> 00:37:53.600
I don't know what else you got there. I just got a bunch of stuff. And I appreciate it. It's nice.

668
00:37:53.600 --> 00:37:58.480
I just give it to the people and they stick in the warehouse. Because can I tell you something?

669
00:37:58.480 --> 00:38:05.600
That was yesterday. That represents a line I crossed yesterday, and I'm glad I got across,

670
00:38:05.600 --> 00:38:11.840
and I'm glad I got achievement. I'm not anti that. But it isn't what endears my heart.

671
00:38:11.840 --> 00:38:15.920
What doesn't endear my heart is a plaque that talks about what I've accomplished.

672
00:38:15.920 --> 00:38:21.120
What endears my heart is the potential I've got to accomplish more and do more.

673
00:38:21.120 --> 00:38:27.520
In a goal-oriented culture, you focus on status. What's your title? What's your position?

674
00:38:27.520 --> 00:38:32.560
In a growth-oriented culture, you focus on stretching.

675
00:38:34.960 --> 00:38:38.320
I mean, I got all kinds of titles. I don't use any of them. I've got an earned doctorate and

676
00:38:38.320 --> 00:38:42.160
14 honorary doctorates. I don't know. Nobody calls me Dr. Maxwell because they don't let

677
00:38:42.160 --> 00:38:47.040
me call me Dr. Maxwell. Dear Lord. When I was born and came out of mama's womb, she looked at me. She

678
00:38:47.040 --> 00:38:50.960
said, I think he's going to be kind of a simple child. Let's call him John. That's my name.

679
00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:55.600
My name is John. Don't need the titles. Don't need the office. Don't need the parking place.

680
00:38:55.600 --> 00:39:02.400
Don't need any of it. Has nothing to do. Has nothing. This has nothing to do with leadership.

681
00:39:03.040 --> 00:39:12.240
In a goal-oriented culture, it honors privilege. In a growth-oriented culture, it honors servanthood.

682
00:39:12.800 --> 00:39:18.000
There's a lot of difference between leading out of privilege and leading out of servitude.

683
00:39:18.000 --> 00:39:23.360
In a goal-oriented culture, it emphasizes knowing. In a growth-oriented culture,

684
00:39:23.360 --> 00:39:30.720
it emphasizes learning. There's a lot of difference. Are you so thrilled about what

685
00:39:30.720 --> 00:39:34.880
you know, or are you thrilled about what you're learning? Honest to God, my favorite thing is

686
00:39:34.880 --> 00:39:38.880
learning. I love learning more than writing books. I love learning more than speaking.

687
00:39:38.880 --> 00:39:43.360
Learning is my favorite thing. Learning, learning, and learning. The more you know,

688
00:39:43.360 --> 00:39:50.080
the more you know you don't know. It just never stops. You see, goals help me do better,

689
00:39:51.040 --> 00:39:57.360
but growth helps me become better. There's a difference between doing better and becoming

690
00:39:57.360 --> 00:39:59.760
better. You see, my

691
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.380
Goals don't ensure my future. My growth does. When people say,

692
00:40:03.380 --> 00:40:05.920
what's your future like? Well, it's going to keep expanding.

693
00:40:05.920 --> 00:40:08.160
It's going to keep getting better. Well, how do you know that? Well,

694
00:40:08.160 --> 00:40:12.360
I know that because I'm growing, growing ensures your future.

695
00:40:13.280 --> 00:40:17.800
Setting goals doesn't ensure your future. Landmine number seven. Oh, good Lord.

696
00:40:17.800 --> 00:40:20.560
Ray. I'm taking too long here. I'm sorry.

697
00:40:22.000 --> 00:40:25.600
It's so good. All right.

698
00:40:25.800 --> 00:40:28.920
Absolutely. Okay.

699
00:40:28.960 --> 00:40:32.400
Not landmine landmine number seven. Don't you think so? What do you think, Ray?

700
00:40:32.400 --> 00:40:33.440
You think this would be a good book?

701
00:40:34.680 --> 00:40:37.960
Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Good. You know, just like you said,

702
00:40:37.960 --> 00:40:38.640
if you're aware,

703
00:40:38.640 --> 00:40:42.520
awareness is the key and you're pointing out some things that people weren't

704
00:40:42.520 --> 00:40:43.360
aware of.

705
00:40:44.600 --> 00:40:48.880
Leadership landline landmine number seven is personal

706
00:40:48.880 --> 00:40:51.600
insecurities. It's a terrible landmine.

707
00:40:51.960 --> 00:40:54.360
And I'm going to have to say of all the landmines I gave you,

708
00:40:54.360 --> 00:40:56.480
this one frustrates me the most.

709
00:40:57.320 --> 00:41:01.560
And the reason it frustrates me the most is I it's the area where I'm least

710
00:41:01.560 --> 00:41:06.320
qualified to help people. And when I, when I don't have good helps for people,

711
00:41:06.520 --> 00:41:11.000
I get frustrated because why expose a problem if you don't have an answer to it

712
00:41:11.000 --> 00:41:15.840
or a good answer, but, but insecure people, I've watched this in leadership.

713
00:41:18.160 --> 00:41:23.200
They usually end up hurting themselves and they almost always

714
00:41:23.360 --> 00:41:28.040
end up hurting others. There's a lot of hurt around insecure leaders.

715
00:41:28.440 --> 00:41:29.000
Let me,

716
00:41:29.000 --> 00:41:33.120
the best way I can explain this is if I have a split,

717
00:41:33.160 --> 00:41:35.840
we all know what it is. It happened like a splinter in your finger.

718
00:41:35.840 --> 00:41:39.440
We all know what that's like. And then it gets inflamed and gets real red.

719
00:41:39.640 --> 00:41:43.440
That now, when, when I got this splinter in my finger, it's real red.

720
00:41:44.520 --> 00:41:48.280
If I just barely touch it, just bear, I mean, just barely touch it. I mean,

721
00:41:48.520 --> 00:41:51.280
I could all day long if I don't have a splinter or nothing, I, I,

722
00:41:51.680 --> 00:41:53.840
I can touch it, clap my hands, nothing's happening.

723
00:41:54.480 --> 00:41:56.440
But the moment I have infection that splinter in there,

724
00:41:56.440 --> 00:42:00.600
if I just barely touch it, it hurts. I, and in fact, I, Oh my gosh,

725
00:42:00.600 --> 00:42:04.880
that hurts so bad. Now, now here's what I, here's what I want you to understand.

726
00:42:07.640 --> 00:42:10.480
Insecure people have a splinter in their life

727
00:42:13.280 --> 00:42:14.960
and they get hurt really easily.

728
00:42:14.960 --> 00:42:18.520
And let me just hurting people,

729
00:42:19.480 --> 00:42:22.880
hurt themselves and hurting people, hurt others.

730
00:42:23.400 --> 00:42:27.320
They just do. And there's a splinter in their soul.

731
00:42:28.480 --> 00:42:32.760
And the reason I get frustrated on this one

732
00:42:33.440 --> 00:42:37.440
is because I, I, I, I, it's out of my expertise. I,

733
00:42:38.400 --> 00:42:42.480
I don't know always what to do to help people, um,

734
00:42:43.280 --> 00:42:47.280
you know, lessen their insecurities or increase their confidence. I mean,

735
00:42:47.800 --> 00:42:51.960
so, but, but, but I, I want you to know insecure people. Um,

736
00:42:52.720 --> 00:42:56.000
well, let me, let me, okay. What, what, let me give you insecure people.

737
00:42:56.040 --> 00:42:59.280
They want control. You show me a high controlling person.

738
00:42:59.280 --> 00:43:01.920
I'll show you probably a highly insecure person.

739
00:43:02.600 --> 00:43:05.120
They fear public failure.

740
00:43:06.760 --> 00:43:11.640
They never want to look bad. Never want to look bad. If, if, if, if, if it's good,

741
00:43:11.640 --> 00:43:14.120
if people are going to know they messed up, they fear it.

742
00:43:14.400 --> 00:43:16.640
They usually avoid risk because of that.

743
00:43:18.000 --> 00:43:22.640
Almost always insecure people are very closed in their relationships.

744
00:43:24.200 --> 00:43:27.200
Um, they don't hire tens,

745
00:43:27.600 --> 00:43:31.720
insecure people never will allow people around them that are better than them

746
00:43:32.400 --> 00:43:35.680
because you know, they're insecure. They're insecure.

747
00:43:36.040 --> 00:43:39.560
So if you're an insecure leader, even if you're a good one,

748
00:43:39.560 --> 00:43:41.440
maybe you're like a seven or eight, you're pretty good leader,

749
00:43:41.440 --> 00:43:44.400
but you're insecure. You won't hire nines and tens. You never will.

750
00:43:44.800 --> 00:43:46.280
I've never known an insecure person,

751
00:43:46.280 --> 00:43:50.120
bring better people than them around them and allow them to have great

752
00:43:50.120 --> 00:43:50.800
empowerment.

753
00:43:50.800 --> 00:43:54.560
I've never let known it to happen because they're afraid it'll make them look

754
00:43:54.560 --> 00:43:57.560
bad. They, they, they, they resist change.

755
00:43:58.080 --> 00:44:02.360
They usually fail to affirm or empower other people.

756
00:44:03.680 --> 00:44:08.120
Um, they view people through their insecurities. So they don't trust them.

757
00:44:08.160 --> 00:44:13.080
That happens all the time. Okay. So how do you avoid this? Well,

758
00:44:13.600 --> 00:44:16.240
right. You got to recognize the landmine. And then number two,

759
00:44:16.280 --> 00:44:18.040
you got to seek some professional help.

760
00:44:18.040 --> 00:44:22.760
You got to go to somebody that can help you. Um, you just, yeah, you just,

761
00:44:22.800 --> 00:44:26.880
you have to, you have to go to somebody bigger and better so that you could see

762
00:44:26.880 --> 00:44:29.680
Ray, why I don't talk about this very much because I don't have enough.

763
00:44:29.880 --> 00:44:32.720
I don't have enough good help. Did you want to say something there, buddy?

764
00:44:33.040 --> 00:44:37.760
Yeah. I'll, I'll, I'll throw one, one thing out there. Um, so like,

765
00:44:38.480 --> 00:44:39.320
um,

766
00:44:40.680 --> 00:44:43.600
you know, one way I've heard it said is, you know,

767
00:44:43.600 --> 00:44:47.000
sacred wounds are what you needed most as a kid, but didn't get,

768
00:44:47.840 --> 00:44:52.720
whether that's security, love attention or whatever.

769
00:44:53.080 --> 00:44:57.360
And often people will spend the rest of their life trying to fill something.

770
00:44:57.360 --> 00:44:58.800
They never learned how to receive.

771
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.680
And so and and locating the absence of it, right and that's what can often trigger them

772
00:45:06.240 --> 00:45:08.560
And I do think that that's you know, where

773
00:45:09.280 --> 00:45:13.540
Like second corinthians 10 3 through 5 talks about strongholds

774
00:45:14.480 --> 00:45:15.520
Which are the you know

775
00:45:15.520 --> 00:45:18.480
The strongest part of the city or the strongest part of your brain

776
00:45:19.040 --> 00:45:22.640
And that we are to take captive every thought and make it obedient to christ

777
00:45:23.040 --> 00:45:27.040
Yeah, so when we have this thought of i'm not important. I'm not worthy

778
00:45:27.200 --> 00:45:30.080
Well, how come they think they're better than me or any of that kind of stuff?

779
00:45:30.160 --> 00:45:32.160
We know that's not christ-like

780
00:45:32.240 --> 00:45:33.760
and we're called to

781
00:45:33.760 --> 00:45:35.760
Walk in a new creation

782
00:45:36.400 --> 00:45:38.080
5 17

783
00:45:38.080 --> 00:45:41.600
You know, like how do we walk in a new creation versus rely on the dead man?

784
00:45:41.920 --> 00:45:45.360
Because the dead man is who created all those strongholds and who created all those

785
00:45:45.680 --> 00:45:49.360
Those problems and those things that you notice and look for and you always find

786
00:45:50.080 --> 00:45:52.080
And so I think I I see god

787
00:45:52.560 --> 00:45:54.560
allows these situations

788
00:45:55.280 --> 00:46:00.240
And will allow it over and over and over and over for us to either walk in the new creation or

789
00:46:00.880 --> 00:46:07.440
Fall to the dead man and and like, you know, james talks about be double-minded where we want new transformation in our life

790
00:46:07.680 --> 00:46:11.920
But we keep focusing on the old so we get a response from the lord

791
00:46:12.480 --> 00:46:15.680
And and he loves us so much. He doesn't want us to remain the same

792
00:46:15.760 --> 00:46:20.800
so he'll allow that situation over and over and over and over and over and we get the opportunity to

793
00:46:21.520 --> 00:46:24.560
Finally learn the lesson because if we don't the lessons repeat it

794
00:46:25.120 --> 00:46:27.120
So that's kind of my take on that

795
00:46:27.280 --> 00:46:31.360
I think it's a great take. I think you really added value to us on that ray. I think

796
00:46:31.920 --> 00:46:35.040
When I write the book i'll call you on this chapter. Let's do it

797
00:46:35.760 --> 00:46:38.720
i'll say come on I I I need the ray touch on it because I

798
00:46:39.680 --> 00:46:45.600
What you said had such validity to it and and and it's it's it's it's all I just feel badly

799
00:46:46.560 --> 00:46:49.680
I don't ever like to teach something that I don't have good

800
00:46:50.800 --> 00:46:55.920
Hope for people because you know, why make somebody aware then say i'm sorry, you know that

801
00:46:56.720 --> 00:47:00.160
That is what we do. We we want to help them and uh,

802
00:47:00.640 --> 00:47:04.080
And that's been because i'm not an insecure person at all. I'm very secure

803
00:47:04.320 --> 00:47:11.600
I grew up in a phenomenal home nothing that I did but I grew up in an environment that provided security and confidence

804
00:47:11.600 --> 00:47:14.960
And so it's never been my it's never been a battle of mine

805
00:47:15.680 --> 00:47:19.520
Of all the landmines this that would be by far the least battle I would ever have

806
00:47:19.840 --> 00:47:24.480
but it's so important to so many people because you and I both know rave so many people are insecure and they

807
00:47:24.880 --> 00:47:31.280
They they they can't even let their business grow because it gets beyond their control and therefore it

808
00:47:31.760 --> 00:47:35.520
You know it they it stays small when it could be bigger, you know

809
00:47:35.760 --> 00:47:40.720
And I and what's sad is many of these insecure people are highly gifted. They're they're highly gifted and

810
00:47:41.840 --> 00:47:45.520
They can lead well, but their insecurities don't let them lead far

811
00:47:46.160 --> 00:47:48.960
Like like we wanted to let me okay, let me give you

812
00:47:49.760 --> 00:47:55.760
Let me give you the other two landmines quickly and then then we'll do some q and a i'm, sorry leadership blind mind number eight

813
00:47:56.480 --> 00:47:58.800
Is failure to make the tough call?

814
00:47:59.920 --> 00:48:01.920
um

815
00:48:02.960 --> 00:48:04.960
I see a lot of people

816
00:48:05.520 --> 00:48:08.980
They they never they never expand and excel in leadership

817
00:48:10.480 --> 00:48:14.660
Because they're just unwilling to do something that makes them highly uncomfortable

818
00:48:16.160 --> 00:48:16.960
uh

819
00:48:16.960 --> 00:48:20.960
When I was younger, I had a I had a mentor tell me this and it was very helpful. He said john

820
00:48:21.820 --> 00:48:27.040
95 percent of the decisions that like a ceo ceo makes in a company 95

821
00:48:27.120 --> 00:48:30.000
So almost every decision the ceo makes in the company

822
00:48:31.600 --> 00:48:34.400
Could reasonably be made by an intelligent eighth grader

823
00:48:36.480 --> 00:48:43.040
They aren't that part of the decisions but then he looked at me and said but the ceo gets paid for the other five percent

824
00:48:44.000 --> 00:48:49.920
And I just have always loved he said just understand it's it's that last five percent it's those hard

825
00:48:50.540 --> 00:48:56.560
Decisions you always remember those tough calls now. This one was a huge landmine as a young leader for me

826
00:48:57.360 --> 00:49:01.200
Major major I because i'm very relationship driven

827
00:49:01.680 --> 00:49:04.480
And I love people and I want people to love me

828
00:49:04.880 --> 00:49:11.940
And so therefore in my in my many early years of relation of leadership. I built all my leadership off relationships

829
00:49:12.900 --> 00:49:17.540
So when it came up to make a tough call I was gonna have to let somebody go or something like that

830
00:49:17.860 --> 00:49:21.140
I would I would suspend it or hold it or postpone it

831
00:49:21.700 --> 00:49:23.700
Because it was relationally

832
00:49:24.180 --> 00:49:28.200
Very very uncomfortably and I and I had to come to a place where I had to understand

833
00:49:28.980 --> 00:49:30.180
that uh

834
00:49:30.180 --> 00:49:31.780
that in leadership

835
00:49:31.780 --> 00:49:35.460
There are just going to be times when you're going to have to make calls that you

836
00:49:35.460 --> 00:49:37.460
Would

837
00:49:37.620 --> 00:49:38.880
Not make

838
00:49:38.880 --> 00:49:44.340
Naturally, it's you you have to force yourself to make it but I had another mentor fred smith who helped me

839
00:49:44.340 --> 00:49:46.680
He said john remember if you're leader of an organization

840
00:49:47.620 --> 00:49:51.940
You never can put your feelings first. You got to put what's best for the company first

841
00:49:52.660 --> 00:49:54.900
And he said if you'll put what's best for the company first

842
00:49:54.900 --> 00:49:58.740
You'll be able to make those decisions if you put your feelings first. Wow

843
00:49:59.620 --> 00:50:01.620
so

844
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.480
Every tough call has several things in common. One, it requires a lot of time and energy.

845
00:50:07.040 --> 00:50:12.000
And in my life, prayer, because I have to be, it demands risk.

846
00:50:13.680 --> 00:50:17.040
The tough call is going to be questioned. It's going to be criticized.

847
00:50:18.720 --> 00:50:25.760
But here's what I don't want you to miss. Respect is earned on difficult ground.

848
00:50:26.720 --> 00:50:33.040
Respect is not earned on easy ground. No one ever got respect because they were a flat land leader.

849
00:50:34.000 --> 00:50:39.120
They got respect because they were taking mountains. They had to go into the tough territory.

850
00:50:39.760 --> 00:50:46.560
So respect is earned on difficult ground. So when you make difficult, tough calls and decisions,

851
00:50:46.560 --> 00:50:50.880
that's where you get your respect. That's where you get your moral authority, which is the

852
00:50:50.880 --> 00:50:55.840
highest leadership authority anybody could ever have is moral authority. It's all earned on

853
00:50:55.840 --> 00:51:00.800
difficult ground. So the good news is, if that's a landmine, like it was, it was a major landmine

854
00:51:00.800 --> 00:51:08.560
for me. I probably had 15 years of battling that until I finally got through it, but it took me a

855
00:51:08.560 --> 00:51:14.560
long time. But what I realized, it was that the respect I gained from people by making those tough

856
00:51:14.560 --> 00:51:22.160
calls was really what gave me some moral authority. Let me just take you to leadership

857
00:51:22.160 --> 00:51:28.080
landmine number nine, and that's just failure to develop leaders.

858
00:51:32.960 --> 00:51:36.800
If you're not developing leaders, really?

859
00:51:40.160 --> 00:51:43.600
One of two things is going to happen. One is you're never going to compound anything,

860
00:51:43.600 --> 00:51:49.120
because you can't compound without developing leaders. And secondly is that you're never going

861
00:51:49.120 --> 00:51:55.840
to advance. And yet 90% of all leaders have basically followers. They don't have leaders.

862
00:51:56.960 --> 00:52:03.040
And again, in the beginning, nobody taught me how to develop leaders. So what I did is

863
00:52:03.680 --> 00:52:13.200
in my first church, I developed followers and had a good following. And then I really

864
00:52:13.200 --> 00:52:16.800
passed through three churches. My second church, I developed workers, because I realized I had to

865
00:52:16.800 --> 00:52:22.800
get people to work. By my third church, I had it down. I developed leaders. And when I developed

866
00:52:22.800 --> 00:52:30.400
leaders, it just became huge. In fact, when I resigned my congregation in San Diego, I told my

867
00:52:30.400 --> 00:52:35.120
elders and my board, I said, you do understand. You don't really need a pastor. You just need

868
00:52:35.120 --> 00:52:40.400
somebody to do pulpit for you on Sunday. You guys already are equipped. I literally had equipped

869
00:52:40.400 --> 00:52:46.000
thousands, thousands of people to lead in that church. And I said, you know, you're going to get

870
00:52:46.000 --> 00:52:48.720
a pastor. They're going to come in there, and they're going to mess everything up for you. You

871
00:52:48.720 --> 00:52:54.880
just need to get a pulpit supply person. And for several months, they didn't have a pastor.

872
00:52:54.880 --> 00:53:00.720
The church kept growing, just kept doing really great. Funny story. So I'm having one day, I'm

873
00:53:00.720 --> 00:53:05.840
having lunch with about six of the leaders of the congregation. I no longer am pastor in the church.

874
00:53:05.840 --> 00:53:12.320
And they're saying, John, since you left, the church has just done outstanding. My gosh, it's,

875
00:53:12.320 --> 00:53:18.320
the growth is amazing. Finances are up, attendance is up, offerings up. In fact, I mean, they were

876
00:53:18.320 --> 00:53:22.640
howling. They're saying, you kept telling us, if we didn't know it was this good, you know, you could

877
00:53:22.640 --> 00:53:28.480
have left three years ago. My gosh, we didn't need you at all. And we were just having the best time.

878
00:53:28.480 --> 00:53:34.320
Let me explain something. That's exactly the highest compliment you'll ever get in your life.

879
00:53:35.120 --> 00:53:39.120
So when somebody says, oh, they're an irreplaceable leader, I say, you're in trouble.

880
00:53:40.160 --> 00:53:45.040
If they're irreplaceable, when they're gone, what are you going to do? You want to be a

881
00:53:45.040 --> 00:53:50.640
replaceable leader. That's why I always taught my staff, you work yourself out of a job. And if you

882
00:53:50.640 --> 00:53:54.080
work yourself out of a job, I'll give you another job. But if you can't work yourself out of the

883
00:53:54.080 --> 00:54:00.080
job you have, I'm going to take the one you have away from you. Why did I do that? I was hiring

884
00:54:00.800 --> 00:54:09.360
them to lead and develop other leaders. And that's a huge landmine. So many people in leadership

885
00:54:09.360 --> 00:54:16.080
positions, they just never develop leaders. So therefore they never compounded and they never

886
00:54:16.080 --> 00:54:23.840
multiply, which begins to be a problem too. So there we go. I got through all over. I kind of

887
00:54:23.840 --> 00:54:33.360
slaughtered the last couple. But I got through it. We didn't need part three of a leadership

888
00:54:33.360 --> 00:54:40.480
landmine series. But anyway, if you or anyone have comments or questions, let's go. We got a few

889
00:54:40.480 --> 00:54:45.680
minutes, not a lot, but we got a few minutes. Let's go for it. Absolutely. Yeah. And I'll give

890
00:54:45.680 --> 00:54:51.680
some takeaways after we get through Q&A time with John. I want to respect his time.

891
00:54:52.640 --> 00:54:56.880
I love you doing the takeaways afterwards. Ben, I would love to. Sometimes I want to

892
00:54:58.400 --> 00:54:59.680
hang in there with the takeaways.

893
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.600
learn from you because I know, I know what you do is you're standing on my

894
00:55:03.600 --> 00:55:07.320
shoulder and you're building stuff that is, it is, it really helps them really

895
00:55:07.320 --> 00:55:12.880
helps them. So I love the fact that you, we do the little interaction, but then

896
00:55:12.880 --> 00:55:16.760
you kind of, then you build on what I laid and you build it on a foundation

897
00:55:16.760 --> 00:55:18.080
that can go up higher. I love that.

898
00:55:18.680 --> 00:55:24.240
Appreciate that, man. Appreciate that. Um, so yeah, I'm looking, uh, I'm

899
00:55:24.240 --> 00:55:27.640
looking for him. Go ahead and feel free to, to raise your hand.

900
00:55:30.160 --> 00:55:32.120
Okay. All right. Now I'm seeing a hand. It's kind of harder with the

901
00:55:32.120 --> 00:55:36.720
background here. So we got the Harveys, we got Chiago and Crystal. What's

902
00:55:36.720 --> 00:55:37.360
happening?

903
00:55:37.960 --> 00:55:38.400
Okay.

904
00:55:40.000 --> 00:55:41.240
Hey, can you guys hear me?

905
00:55:41.680 --> 00:55:42.080
Yeah.

906
00:55:43.120 --> 00:55:45.320
First, it's hard to see your hand because the background.

907
00:55:45.680 --> 00:55:49.960
I know I've got a really messy office. We just moved into our house. So, um,

908
00:55:50.280 --> 00:55:54.720
John Ray, appreciate your time. Thank you so much. This is really good. My

909
00:55:54.760 --> 00:56:00.520
question is where have you made a tough call? And it was maybe the wrong call

910
00:56:00.520 --> 00:56:06.560
in hindsight. How did you get past that? How did you regain the respect or the

911
00:56:06.560 --> 00:56:10.200
listening from the people you were leading in that example?

912
00:56:10.440 --> 00:56:16.760
That's a fabulous question. Glad you asked it because I've made you, if I was

913
00:56:16.760 --> 00:56:20.840
going to give a lesson on this, what the, my lesson would be entitled how to

914
00:56:20.840 --> 00:56:25.840
make a tough call tougher. How you make a tough call tougher is when the tough

915
00:56:25.840 --> 00:56:29.280
call was the wrong call. So now all of a sudden it was not only hard to make it,

916
00:56:29.280 --> 00:56:32.400
but then when you made it, you said, Oh crap, what had happened here? This isn't

917
00:56:32.400 --> 00:56:38.120
exactly what I expected it to be. And I've had that happen on occasions, not

918
00:56:38.120 --> 00:56:42.520
numerous occasions, but I've had it happen maybe in my life. I would say a

919
00:56:42.520 --> 00:56:47.720
good dozen, 15 times where I just made a tough call that was the wrong call. And

920
00:56:47.720 --> 00:56:52.480
the answer is just very simple. The moment you realize the tough call was a

921
00:56:52.480 --> 00:56:56.600
wrong call, you sit down with your people and you say, I made a wrong call.

922
00:56:58.400 --> 00:57:04.160
You very quickly let them know that you know that it was a wrong call. The odds

923
00:57:04.160 --> 00:57:08.360
are they already know it too, because they've been part of the organization.

924
00:57:08.360 --> 00:57:11.480
They've been part of the company. And so, you know, they're maybe looking and

925
00:57:11.480 --> 00:57:14.480
saying, boy, he made that call. I don't think it makes any sense. And I don't

926
00:57:14.480 --> 00:57:22.320
think it's working out. So I'm very quick, whenever I make a wrong turn, I'm

927
00:57:22.320 --> 00:57:26.480
very quick, as soon as I realize it's wrong turn now, I'm very quick to admit

928
00:57:26.480 --> 00:57:32.600
it and say, Oh, I got to stop right here. In fact, I may need to do a U-turn, but

929
00:57:32.600 --> 00:57:37.600
I got to stop. And I'm very quick to let my leaders know, okay, this was not the

930
00:57:37.600 --> 00:57:42.880
right call. I've got to back up. That's where the credibility comes in and the

931
00:57:42.880 --> 00:57:50.320
integrity, because they realize this. See, when the people of your organization, if

932
00:57:50.320 --> 00:57:56.560
they think you don't know what you did, it becomes very worrisome to them, because

933
00:57:56.560 --> 00:58:01.040
they're saying, man, I don't know if John realizes what's happening here. I'm not

934
00:58:01.040 --> 00:58:07.000
sure he understands. I'm not sure he knows. Now that causes insecurity on the

935
00:58:07.000 --> 00:58:12.600
team. But the moment that I say, whoops, I missed that. Oh, he knows. Okay. Okay.

936
00:58:12.600 --> 00:58:18.400
Now, we can go work on it. We can fix it. Now, a solution is possible once you

937
00:58:18.400 --> 00:58:23.160
admit there's a problem. But there is no solution that's possible without admitting

938
00:58:23.160 --> 00:58:27.720
there's a problem. So it's kind of like, I have to get this out of the way so we

939
00:58:27.720 --> 00:58:35.800
can go now fix this and repair it and get back in the game. So the biggest

940
00:58:35.800 --> 00:58:41.480
mistake that they make on that landmine, on that tough call, is they think, I

941
00:58:41.480 --> 00:58:46.640
don't know if the people know. I won't say anything. And the people know. And

942
00:58:46.640 --> 00:58:51.000
they're getting insecure on you. And they're wondering, why don't you know?

943
00:58:51.360 --> 00:58:55.040
Then when they know you knew and you didn't tell them, now they feel

944
00:58:55.040 --> 00:59:01.280
manipulated. And now you've eroded trust. I've never eroded trust on a missed

945
00:59:01.280 --> 00:59:06.600
call. I've never one time because they in fact, they say he's, he trusts us so

946
00:59:06.600 --> 00:59:10.720
much. He went in and said, Look, I was wrong here. I didn't do this right. That

947
00:59:10.720 --> 00:59:16.080
establishes trust that doesn't misuse or abuse trust. But the moment that I act

948
00:59:16.080 --> 00:59:20.800
as if nothing happened, or it was right, and you just don't understand and you

949
00:59:20.800 --> 00:59:24.400
weren't with it, and you weren't there, that kind of crap. Now, all of a sudden,

950
00:59:24.600 --> 00:59:27.240
that trust begins to erode real quick. Does that help you?

951
00:59:28.240 --> 00:59:31.360
Yeah, it does. Can I can I ask one like little subset question?

952
00:59:31.360 --> 00:59:35.920
I just want to throw one more one thing in there. For me, I've definitely made my

953
00:59:35.920 --> 00:59:40.800
wrong calls. The wrongest calls I've made have been the non calls where I knew

954
00:59:40.800 --> 00:59:44.680
something needed to be done, didn't make it. That's always been my my wrongest

955
00:59:44.680 --> 00:59:49.880
call. And and I learned this from john, it's, it's managing the decision, not

956
00:59:49.880 --> 00:59:54.000
being so worried about making the decision that really counts. And there's

957
00:59:54.200 --> 00:59:57.880
there's even a restaurant survey, I thought this was fascinating, that

958
00:59:57.880 --> 00:59:59.920
someone who has

959
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.600
had a problem with their order where they got,

960
01:00:04.600 --> 01:00:07.360
where it was recognized that they made a problem,

961
01:00:07.360 --> 01:00:10.640
that they were either given something or comp something,

962
01:00:10.640 --> 01:00:12.440
are more loyal than

963
01:00:12.440 --> 01:00:14.440
those who never had a problem in their order.

964
01:00:14.440 --> 01:00:15.560
Yeah.

965
01:00:15.560 --> 01:00:17.840
You have an opportunity when you make

966
01:00:17.840 --> 01:00:22.120
a wrong call to actually show that you're human,

967
01:00:22.120 --> 01:00:24.920
that you care, that you're managing the decision.

968
01:00:24.920 --> 01:00:27.720
I just want to make two cents on that.

969
01:00:27.720 --> 01:00:29.440
That's worth 10 cents.

970
01:00:29.440 --> 01:00:30.640
That's worth 10 cents there.

971
01:00:30.640 --> 01:00:32.240
I'll take it.

972
01:00:32.240 --> 01:00:36.000
I'm glad Sharon's on this call because she caught that,

973
01:00:36.000 --> 01:00:37.480
because that's a great way.

974
01:00:37.480 --> 01:00:38.880
In other words, if you miss something-

975
01:00:38.880 --> 01:00:40.120
Hey, Aaron. How are you?

976
01:00:40.120 --> 01:00:44.720
Yeah. If you miss something and then you go fix it,

977
01:00:44.720 --> 01:00:48.520
you gain even more loyalty than if it had been good.

978
01:00:48.520 --> 01:00:50.000
That's a great- Okay.

979
01:00:50.000 --> 01:00:51.760
I'm sorry. Back to you. I'm sorry.

980
01:00:51.760 --> 01:00:53.320
I was just going to ask really quick,

981
01:00:53.320 --> 01:00:54.640
and I know we're living on time.

982
01:00:54.640 --> 01:00:58.040
Is there any nuance to that in personal relationships,

983
01:00:58.040 --> 01:01:00.160
spouse, children, anything you'd say

984
01:01:00.160 --> 01:01:03.120
different than your organization, or is it just-

985
01:01:03.120 --> 01:01:06.200
No. I want to tell you the same thing in a marriage.

986
01:01:06.200 --> 01:01:09.280
A relationship, when you miss it, you miss it.

987
01:01:09.280 --> 01:01:12.080
Don't try to hide it. Humble yourself.

988
01:01:12.080 --> 01:01:14.520
Say, look, I'm sorry. I was wrong.

989
01:01:14.520 --> 01:01:16.800
You can handle that.

990
01:01:16.800 --> 01:01:20.680
I don't really ever expect anybody to be always right,

991
01:01:20.680 --> 01:01:22.760
because I'm human and I'm not always right.

992
01:01:22.760 --> 01:01:27.440
But I do expect them to be always honest and always open.

993
01:01:27.760 --> 01:01:30.120
It's just fair. It's just fair.

994
01:01:30.120 --> 01:01:32.440
And so, yeah, I think it equates

995
01:01:32.440 --> 01:01:35.560
into outside of companies and teams.

996
01:01:35.560 --> 01:01:37.360
Human relationships, too. I agree.

997
01:01:38.400 --> 01:01:40.040
That's so good. Thank you, guys.

998
01:01:40.040 --> 01:01:41.920
Yeah, you're welcome. Good to see you.

999
01:01:41.920 --> 01:01:46.920
We'll go to Priscilla. I don't know, Capuchin?

1000
01:01:48.320 --> 01:01:49.720
Like, we'll go to Priscilla right now,

1001
01:01:49.720 --> 01:01:54.400
and then we'll go to Capuchin? Is that what it is?

1002
01:01:54.400 --> 01:01:56.400
And so, Priscilla, what's happening?

1003
01:01:56.400 --> 01:01:58.080
Good morning, everyone. Good morning, Ray.

1004
01:01:58.080 --> 01:01:59.520
Good morning, John. Thank you so much.

1005
01:01:59.520 --> 01:02:01.640
I have seven pages of notes.

1006
01:02:01.640 --> 01:02:03.960
So my question, real quick,

1007
01:02:03.960 --> 01:02:07.000
is on the failure to develop leaders.

1008
01:02:07.000 --> 01:02:11.000
I created a group called The Table for my team,

1009
01:02:11.000 --> 01:02:12.560
and it's for the top producers.

1010
01:02:12.560 --> 01:02:15.440
They come to my house. I cook for them. I serve them.

1011
01:02:15.440 --> 01:02:16.920
I focus on hospitality,

1012
01:02:16.920 --> 01:02:18.880
and then we do a mastermind together.

1013
01:02:18.880 --> 01:02:20.520
It's intimate. It's amazing.

1014
01:02:20.520 --> 01:02:22.160
There's so much growth.

1015
01:02:22.160 --> 01:02:25.520
And whoever can't make it in person, they're online.

1016
01:02:25.560 --> 01:02:29.720
I did it for two years, and then I stopped doing it.

1017
01:02:29.720 --> 01:02:32.040
And I thought that these leaders

1018
01:02:32.040 --> 01:02:34.680
would go out and create something like that.

1019
01:02:34.680 --> 01:02:37.120
What I wanted was for them to say,

1020
01:02:37.120 --> 01:02:40.080
the growth is so amazing, we don't need you.

1021
01:02:40.080 --> 01:02:42.440
And the complete opposite happened.

1022
01:02:42.440 --> 01:02:43.280
Yeah.

1023
01:02:43.280 --> 01:02:45.800
Everything fell apart when I wasn't there.

1024
01:02:45.800 --> 01:02:48.160
My numbers dropped in half.

1025
01:02:48.160 --> 01:02:51.000
I brought it back, and I was like, whoa,

1026
01:02:51.000 --> 01:02:51.960
let's bring this back.

1027
01:02:51.960 --> 01:02:54.640
And my numbers tripled after bringing it back.

1028
01:02:54.640 --> 01:02:55.800
But there's a problem there

1029
01:02:55.800 --> 01:02:59.160
because there's not growth without me there.

1030
01:02:59.160 --> 01:03:02.720
So how do I get them from followers, workers,

1031
01:03:02.720 --> 01:03:05.320
to those really independent leaders?

1032
01:03:05.320 --> 01:03:07.280
Yeah, that happens.

1033
01:03:07.280 --> 01:03:09.760
When you started that scenario of being with them

1034
01:03:09.760 --> 01:03:11.880
and they're coming monthly and you're cooking for them

1035
01:03:11.880 --> 01:03:13.600
and serving for them, I'm sitting there,

1036
01:03:13.600 --> 01:03:16.280
I'm thinking, Priscilla, I'm coming to your house too.

1037
01:03:16.280 --> 01:03:18.600
My gosh, hey, when's the next one?

1038
01:03:18.600 --> 01:03:20.360
I'm going to join your group.

1039
01:03:20.360 --> 01:03:22.320
We would love to have you.

1040
01:03:22.320 --> 01:03:23.760
Because what happens is you made it

1041
01:03:23.760 --> 01:03:25.800
so wonderful and exclusive.

1042
01:03:25.800 --> 01:03:28.040
What happens is, and here's your problem,

1043
01:03:28.040 --> 01:03:31.400
those leaders began, they felt privileged in the beginning,

1044
01:03:31.400 --> 01:03:33.400
and then they felt entitled in the end.

1045
01:03:34.920 --> 01:03:37.880
And I can help you very quickly.

1046
01:03:37.880 --> 01:03:39.920
The next time you start one of your table groups,

1047
01:03:39.920 --> 01:03:42.320
have upfront expectations in your first meeting,

1048
01:03:42.320 --> 01:03:44.880
say, let me tell you why we're here.

1049
01:03:44.880 --> 01:03:48.320
We are here for me to be an example for you

1050
01:03:48.320 --> 01:03:49.880
to start a table yourself.

1051
01:03:50.880 --> 01:03:53.320
And so you can copy everything I do.

1052
01:03:53.320 --> 01:03:54.520
You don't have to be original,

1053
01:03:54.520 --> 01:03:56.080
you don't have to be creative,

1054
01:03:56.080 --> 01:03:57.840
but I'm going to set you up

1055
01:03:57.840 --> 01:04:00.200
for a success table for yourself.

1056
01:04:00.200 --> 01:04:01.240
And let me explain to you

1057
01:04:01.240 --> 01:04:03.880
how you get to come to the table next month.

1058
01:04:03.880 --> 01:04:04.720
Hang on.

1059
01:04:05.600 --> 01:04:08.200
You can't come back to the table next month

1060
01:04:08.200 --> 01:04:10.720
until you've started a table yourself.

1061
01:04:10.720 --> 01:04:11.920
Wow.

1062
01:04:11.920 --> 01:04:13.520
And then what happens at your table,

1063
01:04:13.520 --> 01:04:14.920
you know what you do at your table?

1064
01:04:14.920 --> 01:04:16.560
You talk about their tables.

1065
01:04:16.560 --> 01:04:18.560
They tell stories about their tables.

1066
01:04:18.880 --> 01:04:20.280
And you now have developed

1067
01:04:20.280 --> 01:04:25.280
what I call a leadership reproduction table culture.

1068
01:04:25.640 --> 01:04:27.080
Does that make sense to you?

1069
01:04:28.240 --> 01:04:29.960
If you'll do that, Priscilla,

1070
01:04:29.960 --> 01:04:31.800
you won't have that problem.

1071
01:04:31.800 --> 01:04:33.840
But you had the problem because,

1072
01:04:33.840 --> 01:04:35.520
by the way, I did that too.

1073
01:04:35.520 --> 01:04:37.360
My gosh, I did that.

1074
01:04:37.360 --> 01:04:38.200
When you were talking about it,

1075
01:04:38.200 --> 01:04:39.520
I thought, well, I've done that one,

1076
01:04:39.520 --> 01:04:41.680
where you make the experience so great.

1077
01:04:41.680 --> 01:04:42.960
In fact, what happens then,

1078
01:04:42.960 --> 01:04:45.520
they don't even want anybody else to come to your table.

1079
01:04:45.520 --> 01:04:46.800
They want it just to be them.

1080
01:04:46.800 --> 01:04:48.640
And if some outsiders grow in the business,

1081
01:04:48.640 --> 01:04:49.480
they're kind of looking at them and say,

1082
01:04:49.480 --> 01:04:51.160
now wait, how'd they get to join this table?

1083
01:04:51.160 --> 01:04:52.800
I thought this was just us.

1084
01:04:52.800 --> 01:04:55.360
And it becomes a club is what it does.

1085
01:04:55.360 --> 01:04:56.280
Becomes a club.

1086
01:04:56.280 --> 01:04:58.600
So you gotta be real careful in how you set it up.

1087
01:04:58.600 --> 01:05:00.600
But if you set it up on the other side.

1088
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.060
For example, I would only let leaders be an official leadership position for three years

1089
01:05:06.060 --> 01:05:08.060
and then I moved them out.

1090
01:05:08.060 --> 01:05:11.840
And in year two, they had to go pick the person that was going to take their place.

1091
01:05:11.840 --> 01:05:13.600
Oh my gosh.

1092
01:05:13.600 --> 01:05:18.680
And then they had to bring that person to me and show me why they should have that position

1093
01:05:18.680 --> 01:05:20.400
next time because of their production.

1094
01:05:20.400 --> 01:05:21.400
Go ahead.

1095
01:05:21.400 --> 01:05:22.400
You have a question on Priscilla?

1096
01:05:22.400 --> 01:05:23.400
Yeah.

1097
01:05:23.400 --> 01:05:27.380
So I let the top producers, depending on how many sales they have, they're allowed to bring

1098
01:05:27.380 --> 01:05:31.260
one person into this leadership training.

1099
01:05:31.260 --> 01:05:33.460
So you have like somebody super new.

1100
01:05:33.460 --> 01:05:34.460
It doesn't matter.

1101
01:05:34.460 --> 01:05:35.460
They don't have to qualify.

1102
01:05:35.460 --> 01:05:36.460
It's just, who do you believe in?

1103
01:05:36.460 --> 01:05:37.560
You can bring them.

1104
01:05:37.560 --> 01:05:43.980
So they have a responsibility to hit a high number to bring someone in to grow.

1105
01:05:43.980 --> 01:05:48.780
But I would only let them bring somebody in to one of your tables and they couldn't bring

1106
01:05:48.780 --> 01:05:53.620
that same person back to the next table unless that person was producing.

1107
01:05:53.620 --> 01:05:59.820
You have to tie in all, and producing not only numbers, but producing leaders.

1108
01:05:59.820 --> 01:06:03.660
The producing leaders is the table experience that you're giving them, Priscilla.

1109
01:06:03.660 --> 01:06:05.980
They need to have those table experiences too.

1110
01:06:05.980 --> 01:06:11.540
And I'm going to just say, let me apply it to where we are right now.

1111
01:06:11.540 --> 01:06:16.320
You're getting terrific teaching in Ray's group from him and mentoring and all this

1112
01:06:16.320 --> 01:06:17.700
whole process.

1113
01:06:17.700 --> 01:06:20.700
My whole thing to every one of you is, are you taking everything Ray and I are giving

1114
01:06:20.700 --> 01:06:21.700
you?

1115
01:06:21.700 --> 01:06:25.780
And are you turning around and pouring that into your people in the month that we're in

1116
01:06:25.780 --> 01:06:27.900
between the time to build them?

1117
01:06:27.900 --> 01:06:32.060
So when you come back, I mean, you should be building your group while we're building

1118
01:06:32.060 --> 01:06:33.060
you.

1119
01:06:33.060 --> 01:06:34.060
It's the same feeling.

1120
01:06:34.060 --> 01:06:37.180
And I know you are, Priscilla, I can tell you're on it.

1121
01:06:37.180 --> 01:06:38.880
But upfront expectations.

1122
01:06:38.880 --> 01:06:46.660
If you let them in the door and they consider it, they are your guests and it was a privilege,

1123
01:06:46.660 --> 01:06:48.820
you'll never get them to reproduce.

1124
01:06:49.540 --> 01:06:54.420
They have to understand they are only in the room because they're producing and not only

1125
01:06:54.420 --> 01:06:58.900
producing numbers, but they're producing leadership tables or they're producing leaders.

1126
01:06:58.900 --> 01:07:05.300
I would always ask every six months, we would have a leaders upon leaders meeting where

1127
01:07:05.300 --> 01:07:09.260
the leaders that were leading people would bring their leaders together so we could see

1128
01:07:09.260 --> 01:07:12.100
them and talk to them.

1129
01:07:12.100 --> 01:07:15.040
And we created this, how many leaders do you have under you?

1130
01:07:15.040 --> 01:07:18.380
Not so much what your numbers, how many leaders do you have under?

1131
01:07:18.380 --> 01:07:20.940
Because if you've got the leaders, the numbers come automatically.

1132
01:07:20.940 --> 01:07:21.940
Powerful.

1133
01:07:21.940 --> 01:07:26.460
John, I appreciate your time so much.

1134
01:07:26.460 --> 01:07:31.700
Linda, thanks for, I thought it was you, Linda, but I'm your way of, Linda, do you have a

1135
01:07:31.700 --> 01:07:33.460
quick question for John?

1136
01:07:33.460 --> 01:07:34.460
Thank you so much, John.

1137
01:07:34.460 --> 01:07:35.460
Hi, John.

1138
01:07:35.460 --> 01:07:36.460
Hi, Ray.

1139
01:07:36.460 --> 01:07:37.460
And it is Linda.

1140
01:07:37.460 --> 01:07:38.460
Yeah.

1141
01:07:38.460 --> 01:07:41.620
I just want to say, John, thank you.

1142
01:07:41.620 --> 01:07:45.740
Your leadership Bible meant the world to me when I was in leadership.

1143
01:07:45.740 --> 01:07:51.500
And I believe that failure to think realistically is huge.

1144
01:07:51.500 --> 01:07:58.140
And when I became a Christian, that's when I really began leadership because I understood

1145
01:07:58.140 --> 01:08:03.620
what it meant to lead because I followed Jesus.

1146
01:08:03.620 --> 01:08:13.480
And that then as I was introduced to different churches, nothing is impossible with Jesus.

1147
01:08:13.480 --> 01:08:15.340
Everything is possible.

1148
01:08:15.940 --> 01:08:19.779
And coming from that mindset and in prayer, that's what I led.

1149
01:08:19.779 --> 01:08:22.500
So it kept me sane.

1150
01:08:22.500 --> 01:08:26.460
But then transitioning, my background is in nursing.

1151
01:08:26.460 --> 01:08:35.420
I'm a master's prepared nurse, multiple certifications, managed 1,000 patients and 400 employees with,

1152
01:08:35.420 --> 01:08:41.700
you know, in a matrix healthcare system, multiple unions and multiple matrix healthcare for

1153
01:08:41.700 --> 01:08:42.700
bosses.

1154
01:08:43.100 --> 01:08:47.700
I mean, it was nuts, but I loved it because Jesus got me through it.

1155
01:08:47.700 --> 01:08:49.540
To Ray's point, right.

1156
01:08:49.540 --> 01:08:51.060
I was a mess.

1157
01:08:51.060 --> 01:08:54.300
I had to grow.

1158
01:08:54.300 --> 01:08:55.380
And I was growing.

1159
01:08:55.380 --> 01:08:58.620
And Jesus was my.

1160
01:08:58.620 --> 01:09:05.740
People saw that people saw the change and now transitioning and my leadership is a stepping

1161
01:09:05.740 --> 01:09:06.740
stone.

1162
01:09:06.740 --> 01:09:08.700
Nothing goes to waste, nothing.

1163
01:09:09.700 --> 01:09:12.580
And we have to pray, have hallelujah.

1164
01:09:12.580 --> 01:09:15.540
We must pray and wait.

1165
01:09:15.540 --> 01:09:16.859
We cannot run before him.

1166
01:09:16.859 --> 01:09:18.540
Oh, my gosh.

1167
01:09:18.540 --> 01:09:19.700
Stories about that.

1168
01:09:19.700 --> 01:09:22.859
So anyway, to say this.

1169
01:09:22.859 --> 01:09:24.140
And cheerleaders.

1170
01:09:24.140 --> 01:09:30.899
So then when you get around certain church people, there are a lot of cheerleaders and

1171
01:09:30.899 --> 01:09:35.720
they fail to look at what's facing them.

1172
01:09:35.740 --> 01:09:41.279
And so they don't have the courage or to just see things as they are.

1173
01:09:41.279 --> 01:09:46.760
My heart is about setting the oppressed free because I was so oppressed as, as what I thought

1174
01:09:46.760 --> 01:09:48.960
I was a Christian.

1175
01:09:48.960 --> 01:09:54.720
And so I'm just saying that you've confirmed this whole time of mentorship and believing

1176
01:09:54.720 --> 01:09:59.920
to invest in myself from the very beginning was a blessing.

1177
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.000
And because I've gone through a major crisis,

1178
01:10:05.120 --> 01:10:08.880
because it had to, a lot of stuff had to be shaken through,

1179
01:10:08.880 --> 01:10:12.760
which I even wrote about, Ray knows about my book,

1180
01:10:12.760 --> 01:10:14.000
but there was more.

1181
01:10:14.000 --> 01:10:15.920
And that's why Holy Spirit didn't give me

1182
01:10:15.920 --> 01:10:19.780
that green button, push go button to publish.

1183
01:10:19.780 --> 01:10:22.480
There was more, my gosh.

1184
01:10:22.480 --> 01:10:24.840
So anyway, you ask for a breakthrough,

1185
01:10:24.840 --> 01:10:28.760
it's just confirmation of my whole life in leadership.

1186
01:10:28.800 --> 01:10:31.080
My whole life and the changes

1187
01:10:31.080 --> 01:10:34.520
that our heavenly father made to his glory.

1188
01:10:34.520 --> 01:10:37.160
And you cannot, when you have four bosses

1189
01:10:37.160 --> 01:10:40.960
and just all of that, you know what it takes to leadership

1190
01:10:40.960 --> 01:10:43.960
and multiple leadership trainings with wonderful,

1191
01:10:43.960 --> 01:10:48.040
powerful leadership that I put and applied to my life.

1192
01:10:48.040 --> 01:10:49.920
Oh my gosh, I believed in it.

1193
01:10:49.920 --> 01:10:52.480
Jesus first, everything else, apply it.

1194
01:10:52.480 --> 01:10:53.840
But then when the organization,

1195
01:10:53.840 --> 01:10:57.880
just keeps getting more leaders to teach

1196
01:10:57.920 --> 01:11:00.320
and they don't hold people accountable

1197
01:11:00.320 --> 01:11:04.200
to practice and apply, isn't that, anyway.

1198
01:11:04.200 --> 01:11:07.320
So that God just said, okay, enough.

1199
01:11:07.320 --> 01:11:12.280
And that's my whole story, but praise him and thank you.

1200
01:11:12.280 --> 01:11:14.840
And I just love you.

1201
01:11:14.840 --> 01:11:15.680
Amen.

1202
01:11:15.680 --> 01:11:16.500
Great job.

1203
01:11:16.500 --> 01:11:17.400
Great job, Linda.

1204
01:11:17.400 --> 01:11:18.240
John, thank you.

1205
01:11:18.240 --> 01:11:19.500
Thank you so much.

1206
01:11:22.400 --> 01:11:24.680
We're gonna have to jump off here,

1207
01:11:24.680 --> 01:11:26.040
but what I'm actually gonna do

1208
01:11:26.040 --> 01:11:29.240
is I got a couple little takeaways that I'm gonna share.

1209
01:11:29.240 --> 01:11:31.280
I'm actually gonna record it as a video right away,

1210
01:11:31.280 --> 01:11:33.520
post it into the group for you guys,

1211
01:11:34.840 --> 01:11:37.760
something for you, Priscilla, and a couple of other things.

1212
01:11:37.760 --> 01:11:39.440
But John, we so love your time.

1213
01:11:39.440 --> 01:11:40.400
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

1214
01:11:40.400 --> 01:11:42.080
Everyone give him some love, give him some heart.

1215
01:11:42.080 --> 01:11:44.800
Yeah, John, you're amazing, man.

1216
01:11:44.800 --> 01:11:46.340
Have fun on your travels.

1217
01:11:46.340 --> 01:11:48.400
I think you're in Colorado, I think with Pete.

1218
01:11:48.400 --> 01:11:49.480
Hello to Pete.

1219
01:11:49.480 --> 01:11:51.240
Pete's an amazing rockstar

1220
01:11:51.240 --> 01:11:53.600
and just really appreciate your brother.

1221
01:11:53.600 --> 01:11:54.840
Blessings, Ray.

1222
01:11:54.840 --> 01:11:55.680
Love you guys.

1223
01:11:56.280 --> 01:11:58.040
Thanks for letting me be a part of the family.

1224
01:11:58.040 --> 01:11:59.640
Take care and have a good one.

1225
01:11:59.640 --> 01:12:01.000
All right, bye guys.

1226
01:12:01.000 --> 01:12:01.840
See you.