Hello, welcome. Hello, hello. It is Monday night. I can't believe it's already been a
week. I feel like I was just here. It's a good feeling. Feels like home. Welcome back
to those joining us again tonight. If you're here for your first live session, can you
put that in the chat for me so that I know that you are here for your first live session
and we can welcome you. I see another Bethany in the house. Hi. That's super fun.
I don't see my name that often, so it's always fun when I see it. Lauren, welcome for your first
live session. Anyone else joining for the first time? Tiffany, is this your first live session?
Yep, okay. And Susan's first live session. All right, we have several. Welcome, welcome. So
for those of you joining for the first time, I typically open up and we do some content,
and then I will put you all in breakouts and you'll chat with some sisters in the community
for a few minutes, bring you all back together. We'll do some group sharing and I'll do some
coaching then, talk a little bit more and share a little bit more content. We'll do the breakouts
again and Lord willing, we'll do group coaching again at the end. I was running a little behind
today, so let's hope I can get through it a little quicker this evening and we'll have more
group coaching time this afternoon. But I always trust when the Holy Spirit's guiding conversation
and we're open for that, right? So God's got some good stuff planned. I hope that y'all are excited
and expecting transformation and change. When you come with an expectant heart, I believe God will
meet you there and he'll give you more than you even know that you need or expect. He likes to
surprise us. He loves to love on us. And so if that's not been your experience up to this
point in your relationship with the Lord, I believe he's about to show you a little bit more about
himself in this season. And so I want to encourage you to come in with open hearts. My name's Bethany
Cooper. If you've never met me before, I am one of the master heartwork coaches in this community
and I'm raising up some other heartwork coaches. It's an exciting time and God's doing some really
amazing stuff. And so you all see some of those coaches, Annette Winter and Jennifer Yankovich.
They also helped me respond to you. So if they are responding, they are a part of the team.
If y'all did not know that, we're working on kind of a better way for y'all to know who the team is
in every phase. So look for that to be coming soon as well. And I want to plug Supernatural Saturday.
If you're also new, you're probably learning. There's a whole lot to this program.
The prayer calls are not mandatory, but highly, highly recommend you join if or when you can.
We know some people work during the day. We understand that. Y'all, I used to listen truly.
I had an office job, so it was a little easy for me at times to do this, but I would listen in
even if I couldn't pray out loud. And I'm so grateful that I did because there were a lot
of days I can remember like shutting tears at my desk while I would be working. So sometimes,
you know, even as we go, God's healing. And so there's that. Saturday, we did Supernatural
Saturday. If anyone was able to join, you know that we kicked off, Jackie kicked off the project
Good Year. If you don't know what I'm talking about, if you listen to that Supernatural Saturday,
you'll hear more about it. But the reason I want to mention it today is that so many of us
in life, we will, especially if our hope is deferred or we have a low hope tank in any area,
we tend to dread birthdays and holidays unless we just really love them. My family always loved
birthdays and holidays. So I grew up in a family that celebrated those no matter what,
but not everybody had that experience. Some people that actually had really tough experiences during
the holidays. My spiritual daughters that the oldest one in general, out of the two of them
more so like just does not like the holidays and it breaks my heart because they're so good.
But I'm saying this to you all to say that I believe that however we posture our hearts
is really key. So if you go in expecting for Christmas to suck, pardon the way I'm saying
that, but that's how we feel sometimes, right? So let's just be real. But if we posture our heart
like that, then that is typically how we're going to experience it. But if you go in with it, with
the hope and the expectation that God is changing your life, like you're here for a divine purpose,
for a divine reason, for God to transform you from the inside out, and you have the potential
to have the best Christmas that you've had in years. And whether that's with a spirit mate
or not, y'all, that's the cherry on top. You knowing who you are more than ever before and
being set free and feeling light.
and experiencing more joy and all of those things,
that's the real deal.
So we hope that that is a part of your experience
on this journey.
But part of that is us looking for people
that we can be a blessing to.
Y'all, I'm gonna tell you a real quick story.
I shared this actually in the chat
during the prayer call this morning,
but I wanna deposit this into your spirit tonight.
Jackie talks a lot about what we do for others.
We believe in this community that God will do it for us.
It's not a name it, claim it,
so please don't believe any of that stuff.
But we've seen this in tangible ways
and here's my testimony for you.
When I was on the journey that you are now on,
I had just finished my bootcamp.
We used to call it bootcamp back then.
It's now called the Heartwork Phase 1.
I had just finished that just a few weeks prior
to going on a retreat with this community, went to Austin.
At one of the last nights we were there in Austin,
Jackie and David did a night of prayer
and worship at their home.
Jackie released this really incredible word.
I wish I remembered the whole thing.
I just remember being really impacted.
I cried, which happens a lot.
Y'all, I get really emotional.
I'm a sensitive girl.
But she released this word that I do remember
and she was talking about what I'm saying to you.
What we do for someone else, God will do it for us.
And she put out the call for us to be midwives
in someone else's life.
In the sense of that we would stand in the gap
and pray and intercede and believe
for someone else's love story.
And I took that seriously that night.
And they're actually, interestingly enough,
we have another Bethany here tonight,
but that night was a Bethany there
and God like highlighted her to me.
She was in the middle of really trying
to walk out a love story.
She had believed she met her spirit mate,
but there was some resistance there and he wasn't sure.
There was a lot of aspects to it.
He was going through a lot of pain.
He hadn't healed fully from the past.
All of that to say it's a little bit longer story than this,
but God led me to be that midwife for her in the spirit.
And that's what I did.
And so from that day forward,
I went up and talked to her about it that night.
From that day forward, I called her on a regular basis,
voice memoed, how's things going?
How can I pray for you?
How can I pray for, and asked his name and all of that.
Y'all, their lives got changed.
And I'm not saying I'm the only person
or reason that that happened,
but I do believe that God worked in what I did.
Does that make sense, everyone?
And they got married.
They did.
And they're together and they are a blended family
and it's really beautiful and awesome.
And I just want y'all to know that I do believe
that those seeds that I sowed prepared the way for me.
I do.
I think it accelerated my process.
So I wanna encourage you,
it doesn't have to look that way in this season.
Maybe this season for you
is just to do something small for someone else.
Maybe you're not in the place to do what I did for them.
Maybe yours is to send a card with an encouraging word
to someone that God lays on your heart for that day.
So you don't have to go big.
Hey, let's just, how can we be a midwife
or an encourager to other people in this season?
We ask you to focus a lot on yourself during heart work
and we still want you to do that, okay?
We don't want you to shift into helper mode
to help everybody else in their trauma.
But I do think it's good to lift up encouragement
to other people and see what God wants to do through that.
All right?
Okay, so the only other, gosh, the only other,
I can't believe it's almost 10 after already.
The only other thing I need to remind you all,
just because we have some new ladies in here tonight,
as well as those that have been in for a few weeks,
it's time for the reminder, distractions will come,
especially with the holidays approaching.
Y'all that just started,
don't get off track with the holidays.
I know there's so much going on.
There's gonna be parties and family and shopping
and every reason that the enemy
will send your way as possible.
As many things as you can think of to get you off track.
It happens all the time.
There's no shame or blame in it.
Don't feel guilt, but just understand
that just keep doing the next best thing
that you can do every day
to move forward in your process, okay?
Don't give up.
Don't go off course.
If you go off course, just get back on, okay?
That's really the easiest thing.
Just get back on and keep going.
All right, let me pray for us.
Father, thank you so much for your goodness.
God, thank you for this season.
God, that you are the reason that we celebrate.
This week began the advent of hope.
God, we can't have hope without you.
And I thank you for sending Jesus,
the light of the world.
to light up all of the dark areas of our hearts of society
and to bring truth and hope and resurrection power.
We thank you, Jesus, that you died so that we could live,
that you already won the victory for us.
I thank you that you're gonna help us tonight
to step further into the perfect union
between the victory that you've already won
and where we are right now,
that you're gonna help us bridge that gap
a little bit more.
We thank you for divine healing and revelation
flowing from heaven above and into our spirits.
We thank you, God, that you are the great physician,
that nothing is too hard for you.
We've tried, some of us, so many times
to figure things out on our own.
We've done all the self-care and self-help classes
and seminars and books and all the things
that are out there in the digital world
that we listen to on a regular basis,
but God, at the end of it all, God, we need you.
We need your healing power to flow into us
because you are the one that brings healing.
You're the one that brings transformation,
that brings a life,
that it's by the spirit of the Lord that we are free.
So we ask you, Holy Spirit, to come and have your way.
Weave in and out of our conversations
throughout the teaching, even throughout this prayer,
and I thank you that right now
that you administer life and truth and hope
even into the darkest places of our souls
where some of us feel like we could never truly break free
from situations, cycles, strongholds, scenarios.
God, you know it all,
but we thank you that you've brought freedom into our lives.
You've given us the ability to be set free
through the power and the presence
of Jesus Christ in our lives,
but also that you've invited us into relationship with you.
We just say thank you,
and I ask you to just continue to prepare our hearts
to receive everything you have for us tonight.
In Jesus' name, amen.
Y'all, God is so good.
He's so good, and he never gives up on us, ever.
He never gives up.
And when y'all are going through things,
I just wanna encourage you to just look up.
Just look up.
And what I mean by that is so many times
when I am coaching and working with people,
what I find is when we look to,
like during this process, you're looking inwardly,
but you're still asking the Lord to guide the process, okay?
So he's really the one looking in.
He already sees it.
He already knows it.
So when we trust him,
it's not so much you're getting self-focused, okay,
and looking down and feeling that pressure.
And if you feel depressed or oppressed at any point,
the enemy, remember, he will try to resist.
He will try to resist what's happening,
but we don't have to be afraid of that
because we know who already won, and it's Jesus Christ.
So we can partner with that,
and we can look up because where our help comes from,
it comes from the Lord who is the maker
of heaven and earth, everything that he made.
Y'all, he could do that in a moment right now in our life.
And that's hard for us to understand
because sometimes we're like,
well, why doesn't he just do that?
We're guarding the spirit mate or this or that, right?
We want this stuff right now.
We do.
And there's nothing wrong with that
in the sense of wanting it,
but what if we're not ready for it?
What if God gave it to us right now,
if the foundation he placed it on
had all these cracks and fissures,
and the weight actually caused your foundation
to fall apart and break?
Okay, that's the reality.
Sometimes we think we're ready, and we're not.
And sometimes some of us are in the waiting room
a really, really long time, and we are ready,
but we need to learn how to come out of that waiting room.
Okay, and that's part of the process
of allowing God to heal our hearts.
And if y'all remember,
we talk a lot about the broken heart in this journey.
So what is the broken heart?
Tonight, we're gonna touch on that briefly.
Y'all have the content.
I'm not gonna go too far into it.
I wanna have more time for coaching tonight,
but I want you to be thinking about a couple things
as we journey through this conversation.
What is your broken heart leading you into
that is not a part of your true identity?
Why don't you just start thinking
about your own heart recently?
Are there any areas where your broken heart
has led you away from the heart of the Father
and led you into things that are not part
of the true identity of Jesus Christ,
like the plan and the purpose God gave you
when he created you?
If you remember, trauma doesn't just hurt us,
it's gonna create different versions of us.
And those different versions of us
can lead us down pathways and into situations
and scenarios and dynamics with people
that aren't healthy for us.
And sometimes we're the ones
that are creating the unhealthy.
Can I get an amen on that?
Yep, sometimes it's us, you all, right?
Yes, so we have to learn about
who were we originally created to be
before trauma and wounds and pain ever entered our world.
I'm gonna read a little briefing from the book
and basically I'm gonna just pick up
where Jackie is talking about Beezlebub.
Beezlebub is a name of the enemy that's used in the Bible.
It's the Lord of the flies and here's where we pick up.
I know flies serve a purpose
in the decomposition process of organic materials,
but I still detest them.
However, knowing this nickname of the enemy
helps us to understand how our heart wounds
get infected with these lies.
What flies do is they find an unhealed wound,
a sore or some place of decomposition
and they lay their eggs inside of that place.
That's why I wanted you to think about
where's your broken heart leading you
that's not a part of your true identity.
So I want you to be thinking about
where do you have like open wounds right now
or even you just maybe you don't realize
or recognize you have an open wound here,
but you just tend to get real stuck in a certain area
and you can't move forward and you don't know why.
I'm gonna say my best guess is that you have broken wounds
underneath the surface
that you just don't realize are there.
And that's where the enemy's coming in
and he's laying eggs in there
and he's trying to grow a whole big patch of lies in there
out of that one lie.
That's kind of the way I'm gonna explain it.
She goes on.
They do this so when the eggs hash,
the larvae will then have an unlimited food source.
That's how that then grows
because that unlimited food source are those open wounds.
I'm kind of adding some to her book stuff here.
These unhealed heart wounds, traumas and rejections
become an ideal place for the enemy
to sow his seeds and lies
because our hearts are fertile wombs, W-O-M-B-S, wombs.
Anything that gets inside of our hearts,
you all reproduces.
So what's getting reproduced out of your heart?
And again, there's no shame.
Like I've had literal days where at the end of the day,
I'm like, man, I was more negative than normal.
What's going on there, Lord?
Like that didn't even feel like me today
when I did that or thought about that.
Sometimes I don't even say something.
It's something I thought that I'm like,
yeah, that didn't feel like me.
So was there hurt underneath of that thought that I had?
And just where we allow the Lord to help us unpack
and recognize what's going on inside of us.
A broken heart is a couple of things.
It's a liar.
So it's full of lies.
We just talked about that.
It's a puzzle.
Oftentimes it's messed up
and it says that we want things that we don't really want.
Sometimes there's a lot of chaos in there.
I can't tell you how many times I've coached people
and even Jackie coached me.
I'm gonna own this too.
Y'all, when I first got married,
I can remember telling Jackie I was bored one day
and I felt terrible saying it.
You wanna know why I felt bored?
Because my life wasn't chaotic anymore.
Yeah, food for thought.
Sometimes y'all God sends us really good guys,
but we don't want them because they're not chaotic.
I still wanted Brian.
I still loved him.
Obviously I'm still with him.
I was already married,
but it was definitely an aha moment for me
because I was like, oh yeah,
I don't need all of that.
I need to learn how to live differently now.
I need to learn how to live without chaos
and know that it's okay and actually really normal.
And I can fill that space
with a lot of other healthy things.
So for some of you,
that's going to be something
you're gonna have to process through
because if you grew up your whole life in chaos
and then you went into chaos in marriage
and some of you don't even know that you grew up in chaos.
I love my husband's family.
They're amazing.
He had really good parents.
They never fought in front of the kids, which is great.
But the more that my husband met me
and I coach all the time.
So he hears me talking about this stuff all the time.
I have a lot of heartwork conversations
that we talk about things and process,
not just our own stuff,
but even like as we're leading people,
there's heartwork to be done with staff
and people and all this stuff.
We've chatted a lot about his mom and his oldest sister
and some of the dynamics there that he.
went through that led him to choose someone that was very similar to who I
used to choose.
And they were people that struggled with narcissistic tendencies and a lot of
control and manipulation and things. And, uh, his mom is a good woman.
And so is his oldest sister, but they struggle with those things too.
And so I'm just saying that sometimes even really lovely families have
some dysfunction and yellow flags y'all.
And so we need to be willing, not that we're looking down on people,
but just be willing to look at like, okay, what dynamic was I raised in?
Not was it bad or good? You can look at it that way.
I like to say, was it healthy or unhealthy? Was that,
was that way when they did that healthy or unhealthy,
you know? So process it that way would be my recommendation. Okay.
Going on the broken heart is that liar. I said, puzzle.
The third one is a pretender. The pretender shows up in all kinds of ways.
One of the ways it shows up is mask.
So I want you to put in the chat for me. I want to activate you for a minute.
What are some of the masks that you all tend to find yourself putting on?
And you might be like, well, I don't think I put on any mask.
Some people will do things like, or say things like, uh,
you know, perfect parent. I can never, you know, Oh yes. Always smiling,
always trying to be perfect. Um, you know, boss, boss, babe,
you got it all together. Um, all the things there's so many others.
Let's see what else wallflower. Okay. Katie,
I love that you put that in there.
We talked this morning about how sometimes people say,
I'm not saying some people aren't shy.
I do think some people don't have personalities that are like other people,
but I also have found that some people that say they're shy
actually were not created that way,
but they became shy because of the circumstances they grew up in.
And so I always want to encourage you all just to always be asking the Lord,
is this how you created me? Like, is this,
was this a part of the original design you had for me?
And just see what he says. All right. I love this.
You guys are putting some really good things in there. Life is fine.
Let's see what else.
I'm confident. I don't have any insecurities. I just saw that one.
I think a lot of people have insecurities way more than they'll admit something
seeming like everything's fine. I'm strong and nothing gets to me.
That's huge. Susan. Um,
I had someone this afternoon that made a mention, uh,
during one of the coaching parts, um, you know, she doesn't like to cry.
Um, and so, or feels uncomfortable crying in front of people.
Forget how she said, I don't want to misquote her,
but just sometimes having that I'm strong. I don't need anybody's help.
I've got this, um,
kind of her reasoning is that she had worked through a lot of stuff.
So in her mind, she's kind of been telling herself, well,
I don't need to cry about this again. So that's another mask you all like,
it's okay for us to cry again. If we need to, um,
it's our party and we can cry if we want to. Don't you know,
does anyone, Oh, I see someone Jen, Jen got me. All right. Yeah.
I just wanted to throw that in there. Okay. Keep going.
What else is a pretender?
We pretend and say we want expensive things, um,
because we think expensive things project status. Sometimes it's houses, cars,
you know, sometimes it's clothing and purses.
I don't think any of those things are bad. You all.
I just think if we get out of balance and allow that to be our source of
identity, that can be really unhealthy for us. Uh, again,
I don't need help. I'm okay. Um,
and anything that causes you to live below that true identity,
Jeremiah 17, nine says this,
the hardest deceitful above all things and desperately wicked who can know it,
who can know it.
That's why we got to seek the Lord because the Lord knows us better than we know
ourselves. Proverbs four 23 says,
keep your heart with all vigilance for from it flows the springs of life.
So to keep our heart y'all, that means we need to be tending our heart.
If you have a garden, if you don't ever attend that garden,
the vegetables and whatever you planted in the garden may never come up,
right? If they're not cared for properly, some might come up,
but they might not produce the level of crop that could be produced if we tend
and keep that garden.
So I want you to be thinking about your heart as a garden. Okay.
That womb,
that place and that you would start to be more protective about what's going in
to your heart. Have y'all ever heard about the eye gates in here?
I'm pointing at my ears, but I'm saying eyes, eye gate, near gate,
watching what goes in the eye gate, near gate,
super important during this time as well. Um,
because our hearts are highly impressionable.
They're highly impressionable.
And I don't know, some of y'all are maybe nurses in here,
but like, I know this because my mom years ago,
when she had edema is when I saw it the most
and learned the most about it.
But like, when I would press,
we would press on her skin to see how she was doing,
it wouldn't bounce back.
Okay, you guys can't, like mine bounces right back.
So what I want you to think about is like,
some things went in and pressed on our hearts
and it pressed down and because it was so impressionable
and there was maybe potential trauma
or wounding already in there,
in that area, your heart may not have bounced back yet.
That doesn't mean it's not going to or that it can't,
I just want you to acknowledge that that may have happened.
So you might have a mark in there
from the pressure that you went through, so to speak.
And I'm not even saying it's a physical mark, y'all,
I'm talking about spiritual,
like kind of in the supernatural realm in your soul.
I'm going to go through some lies.
You all might have totally different lies.
I'm just putting these out there to get you to like,
start thinking about what are you thinking about?
What are the things going on internally?
We started this last week
and this is kind of a continuation.
It's not the same content, so don't check out on me, okay?
All right, so are you hearing lies like this?
You are insignificant.
The definition of insignificant is not significant,
lacking meaning, not worth considering, unimportant.
Did anyone in your life ever tell you
that you were not important?
Maybe they didn't say it in those words,
but maybe in their behavior, maybe the way they treated you,
maybe the way they dismissed you,
maybe when they betrayed you
and sought relationship with another woman,
there's so many different things that this could apply to.
Lie number two, you don't matter.
Lie number two partners with lie number one
a lot of the time.
Lie number three also does the same.
Lie number three is this, you should be seen and not heard.
You should be seen and not heard.
I have a lot of ladies that in the older generation,
that's how they grew up.
We're saying it to the younger generation
in a totally different way.
I don't know if you all have noticed,
the younger generation's really having
a very hard time connecting with people
because they're growing up on technology.
And then we're shaming them for it.
We're shaming the kids
because they don't wanna go out and play in the yard,
but that like literally,
oh, we did this to them essentially.
And so we're basically the kids when we are in,
if you did this, please know,
I'm not trying to shame you as a parent
because if you're a single mama
and you're just trying to make it through,
sometimes giving your babe something to look at on a screen
is an easy way to be able to work
on something you're doing, okay?
So please know this, I'm not saying this to shame,
but there are a lot of times in some ways
where there are parents that I've actually seen
that don't want to spend time with their kids
or don't know how.
Let's say it that way too.
They're emotionally having a hard time
connecting with their kids.
And so they're just putting their kids in front of the TV
or in front of a device.
And so whether the kids realize it or not,
they're getting a subconscious message from their parents.
And again, please don't receive shame from that.
If that happened, if you have done that,
every day we have from this day forward,
we get to make a new day, we get to create a new thing.
So we can always change anything that we're doing,
myself included, okay?
Lie number four, that we hear a lot, you're not enough.
Maybe you don't hear that lie,
maybe you hear the lie, you're too much,
which I'm gonna go into that here in a little bit.
Lie number five, your opinion doesn't matter.
Lie number six, you're always going to have to beg.
So for those of you that like, oh, I don't feel like that,
do you ever feel like God passes everybody by
and gives everybody else a baby or a partner or a house
or whatever it is that you want and you're still waiting?
Where you feel like you have to plead with God
to give that to you, that's where that lie kind of comes in.
Lie number seven, if they really knew me,
they wouldn't accept me, love me, or choose me.
And again, you all, these can sound different ways,
but those are just examples.
Lies show up in all different variations,
but this is just to kind of get you started
as you continue to lean into the Lord on,
What lies do you hear?
What is really going on down underneath the surface that you may not have even
realized was there until you're hearing this kind of stuff?
All of the lies that I mentioned tonight have a common theme and it's low
self-esteem. It's not understanding our value and our worth.
It's also pauper and or orphan mentalities.
All of the lies that I mentioned tonight have those common themes.
Okay. So does it mean you don't have any self-esteem if you believe those things?
No, that's not what I'm saying, but I am saying that are the way we view
ourselves is below what it should be.
We have to grow in our value and the way we look at ourselves and view ourselves
and the worth that we believe that we bring into this world, not in a prideful
way, but in a healthy, balanced way so that when we go into even friendships,
you all, we want to connect with healthy people.
As I said before, we don't want to be a bunch of givers attracting takers or
even us being takers in this situation.
And we're just getting connected to all these givers.
We want to, Jackie talked about this.
We want to have both in, we want to, we want to be able to both show up and give
equally and kind of that, uh, give and take Brian and I, I love being a team
with him and I genuinely feel like, uh, Jackie talked about this and I've seen
it to be very true in our relationship as well on the days that he feels down.
I'm up on the days I feel down, he's up where, you know, God
uses us to balance each other.
And so I believe that can be possible for you in romantic relationship in
the future, as well as friendships, you know, that we would desire
and find those kinds of friends.
All right, here are some truths for you all.
I have one truth in particular.
I really felt led to mention this today.
Um, there are a lot of people in our community that struggle financially.
And it, it, even if you don't realize it, financial trouble
also goes back to heart issues.
Okay.
You all, the more that we heal in our hearts, the more we're going to
look at money differently as well.
Okay.
We're going to look at, um, how we balance our time regarding becoming
financial stewards and actually growing in our understanding of how to be better
stewards as well as how do we like not lose everything that comes into our pocket.
That's how I used to feel.
I felt like literally sometimes like, where's this going?
I feel like a holes.
I felt like constantly something would go wrong when I would get a bonus or something
and that money would just be like gone.
And, um, some of it was the way I was handling money, looking at money,
thinking about money, obsessing about it, worrying about it, all of those things.
When God just wanted me to trust him.
He wanted me to grow in my faith and understanding of what his provision
looked like, as well as his constant care in my life.
Proverbs 12 49 says this, a wife of noble character is her husband's crown.
Not her doormat, not his doormat, but his crown.
So I'm curious how many of you actually have thought of yourself as a crown?
Probably not a lot of you and it, and it doesn't mean again, it's not like,
Oh, this is like us being prideful.
Like we're this amazing gift, but why not?
Do we believe we are a gift to our spirit mate when he finds us that
we are a blessing to his life?
If we don't believe that y'all, we are not going to attract someone
that's going to treat us that way.
Ephesians one five says in love, he predestined us for adoption to
sonship through Jesus Christ in accordance with his pleasure and will.
Isaiah 43 four says, since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you.
Nations and exchange for your life.
I'm going to read it again.
I felt that one this afternoon too.
And I just, there's something on that scripture today in this community,
Isaiah 43, four, since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because
I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations and exchange for your life.
Y'all God is going to bat for you.
What do I mean by that?
I mean, like he's fighting for you.
He's going out ahead of you and he's, you know, making all these plans and
preparations so that you can come into blessing and life and joy.
And he's, you know, making all these plans and preparations so that you can
unspeakable and full of glory. The good, good life. Is it a journey? Is it a process to
partner with Him in these truths? Yes, it is. Is it going to feel really hard some days?
Yep, it absolutely is. Because if we're used to thinking negative things, that's a habit
for us. And it will take energy and strength and courage to shift to the other things on
a daily basis, sometimes moment by moment, but it will absolutely be worth it. And one
day you all, one day our habit is going to be new and it's going to be good and it's
going to create momentum. And guess what? Then God will reveal another one that we need
to shift in and we'll start to shift. And before long, we're going to start moving at
a whole different pace at a whole different calibration. Can you tell us the scripture
reference again? Um, let's see. Proverbs 1249, I read. Ephesians 1.5. Isaiah 43.4.
Here's the last one for you. Luke 12.7. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
Don't be afraid. You are worth more than sparrows. Breakout question number one is this tonight.
What lie have you been believing that you need to invite God into tonight to heal? And
you might have more than one, but just, just pick one for tonight. Okay. What lie have
you been believing that you need to invite God into so that he can heal it? Maybe it
was a lie from something I said from the list or something else that rose up in your spirit.
It could be something, you know, that God's been showing you this week, but what lie are
you going to ask God to come into and heal tonight? I'm going to put you all in the breakout
rooms. Please don't leave. Please don't leave when we start breakouts. They're super important.
You all are going to get massive breakthrough from participating in these highly believe
that I've seen it. I've heard it. Uh, if you're at work and you're not able to do breakout,
that's different, but let me know that. So if I need to move people around, I can. All
right, ladies, here you go. You're going to have, um, six minutes. So short, brief and
powerful. Okay. All right, Rambo. That's totally fine. Collette. Have a good night.
All right. Click to join those for me. Awesome.
I know some of y'all work, so I know that some of you can't join. And we had a couple
of ladies that had to duck out, but we're here this afternoon. So I know it's not always
people leaving because they don't want to do breakouts, but if y'all can stay love for
you to stay. All right. I think, uh, I'm guessing Nicole, I think you're probably at work. I
know that you're normally listening in at work. Emily, are you able to click to join?
Father, thank you so much for your goodness. Thank you, God, for the reminder that you
are doing a work in all of our lives, far beyond what we can ever ask, think, or imagine.
We thank you the right now that you would just be upon every lady and every breakout
room. Um, hi, Emily. Hi. I went into the group, but then there's nobody, I think, because
I couldn't tell if you were able to. Oh yeah. I was driving on my way home, but I stopped
on the side so I can join. I can join the group. Yeah. Okay. Let me put you in there.
Okay. There you go. Awesome. Father, thank you right now for the conversations that are
happening. We just ask for continued revealings for healing, even for those watching the replay
or here in the room with me while they're at work or traveling. God, we thank you for,
um, just continuing to bring things out of darkness into the light Lord, um, that you
would just bring, um, convergence of ideas and understanding and revelation that would
bring insight and truth and transformation. We're to thank you that, um, yeah, Lord, we
don't have to figure it out. We thank you that you can help us in this process. So we
just, we just say right now, we surrender, we surrender everything to you, every idea,
every preconceived notion that we have about how this healing process needs to look, feel.
Um, and we just thank you that you are continuing to revive us, renew us and rebuild us from
the inside out. We thank you that you are, um, Lord, we just thank you that you would
come in and just where the enemy.
has sown lies into our spirits,
or our souls where the wounds were there,
we ask you to just come in
and gently clean those areas out tonight.
We thank you that you would bring divine healing oil
just flowing down from heaven
and flowing into every one of the areas of our souls
that still needs mended.
We thank you, God.
Just like a river that it would flow through and cleanse
every area that needs cleansed
that you would bring truth and, yeah,
I just keep hearing the word renewal, renewal.
We thank you that new life is being birthed tonight.
We thank you that we don't have to struggle.
We don't have to strive.
We can lean back and trust you.
Psalm 139, 23 and 24 says this,
God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart,
examine me through and through,
find out everything that may be hidden within me,
put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares,
see if there's any path of pain I'm walking on
and lead me back to your glorious ways,
the path that brings me back to you.
Thank you, Lord,
that you would take our feet off of pathways of pain.
Lord, even right now,
areas where we may not recognize
that we are walking on pathways of pain,
you know, we're deceived because we're deceived.
And so, Lord, I ask you to bring revelation
and insight to any area
where we might currently be deceived
through brokenness, through pain,
where we might be having lenses
that are altering the way we're looking at things,
even including the way we look at your word,
the way that we receive truth and understanding
when we're in church services,
hear worship, all of those things.
Lord, I thank you that you would cleanse us
and just bring hope in life.
And yeah, Lord, that you would just create in us
clean hearts of God and renew steadfast spirits within us.
I thank you that you're taking us.
Yeah, I just, ladies,
I just saw almost like in my spirit, like a dusting rag.
And the Lord is just dusting off any of the areas
that even some of you, I'm just sensing that,
like you've still loved the Lord
and you've always loved him,
but things have gotten a little dusty.
And he's just saying he's gonna clean that up
and he's gonna bring some new life and new hope
and some new laughter and fun
into your relationship with him.
That word actually came up
during the live session this afternoon,
now that I'm even saying it out loud,
that God wants to help some of his sons and daughters
that have never believed us to know that he's fun.
And he wants to invite people
into that part of the relationship as well.
God is also the God that brings conviction and truth
and all of that stuff,
but he's also a fun, loving, kind father.
And he enjoys having that intimacy with us,
that relationship that's a closeness.
And I just imagine even like,
I've seen some daughters like this with their dads,
like where they're just having so much fun
and all the things.
And I imagine the father, God the father,
is like that with some of us as well.
Hi there.
And that he's inviting all of us into that place
of having fun and laughter in our relationship with him.
Proverbs 13, 12 says,
unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick,
but a sudden good break can turn life around.
Lord Bruce, thank you for sudden good breaks
and sudden leaves in this community and beyond.
We thank you that you're gonna help us
to start to have hope in places
we haven't had hope in a long time.
God, that you would just breathe life, hope, truth, joy,
that we would open up our hearts
to receive everything new that you have for us.
God, that you would help us to start to look around
and see life around us color,
where people have felt depressed and oppressed
and just a lot of gray.
God, I thank you that you would just open up their mind
to receive the colors of the world in a fresh way.
In Jesus name.
If y'all have ever heard the song Wonder by Hillsong,
that just came up in my spirit
and I just said that, it's called Wonder by Hillsong.
It's so good and I always think
of all the beautiful colors in the world.
God could have created the world so differently,
but he created it with so much color,
so much color for us to enjoy.
And on days where you're feeling really stressed, ladies,
it's really healthy if you can,
if you live in a really cold area,
you probably wanna stay inside right now,
but if you live in a warm area
or you're able to get outside,
connect with the color that you see around you.
That was something I learned several years ago
and it really served me so well.
Like when I would be really overwhelmed or stressed,
I would listen for the sounds,
I would look for.
the color, and y'all, the more I did that,
the more colorful things became.
It was really intriguing,
and I believe that that can happen for all of you as well.
All right, welcome back.
Welcome back.
Who is willing to share with the whole group
what you shared in your private breakout group?
Who wants to kick us off tonight?
I will.
Awesome.
So I said that I've believed this for a long time,
and I've identified it a long time ago, et cetera,
but it just kind of keeps coming back,
the lie that I'm insignificant and unimportant to God,
and that that is why he doesn't give me the things, right,
in my romantic life.
So it kind of relates, those things kind of relate,
and are married in a way, so.
So when was the first time you had the thought
of insignificance or unimportance to God?
I think it was, and I've traced this back to my dad
just not being emotionally available
and really being physically there much either,
and so feeling insignificant, unimportant to him,
and then kind of by extension, I feel like,
feeling like that about God, even as a kid.
Yeah. Kind of extra, you know?
What do you mean?
You felt you were extra?
Yeah.
Tell me, what does that look like?
Like, not wanting to be, like kind of a bother,
like an extra person.
Okay.
So do you feel like at some point
you believed that you were a burden?
Is that what I'm hearing you say?
Yeah.
Okay.
So we just, I think, uncovered something
that maybe has made, like you mentioned when you started,
this is something that you've kind of been seeking
the Lord about before, and when you just said the extra,
like I could have just passed over that,
and I almost did, and the Lord's like, ask her about that.
And so when I asked you to tell me what that meant,
you ended up saying a bother, basically.
And so I would encourage you to ask yourself,
when is the first time you felt,
and you don't have to answer it now
unless it comes right up for you,
when is the first time like you felt or believed the lie
that you were a bother to, it could be anyone,
to your parents, to whatever.
I mean, and sometimes y'all, I'm just gonna say this,
sometimes some of y'all came out of the womb
feeling like that, and that's not truth.
Like even when you were in the womb, God was,
or not God, the enemy was trying to cause you
to feel rejection before you were ever here.
And that is literally proven that that can happen.
So we're not gonna go into all that tonight,
but I just wanna encourage you to lean into that
because I believe that while it may be with your dad,
I feel like it's something
before he felt emotionally unavailable.
I feel like there's something before that
that needs revealed.
And again, you don't have to worry about digging,
but we're gonna just start asking the Lord about it, okay?
Like you are, but I'm encouraging you to.
And just see what he shows you.
And I would encourage you to post in the group
when you learn more about it.
And it could be this week, it could be next week, whenever.
Even if you end up being in phase two when it comes up,
still post about it, okay?
Super important.
Awesome, thanks for sharing, yeah, appreciate it.
Who else is willing to go tonight?
I'll share.
Awesome, would love that.
Is it Lolita?
Lolita, yes.
All right, I love it.
Go ahead.
Okay, so I think for me,
the kind of guy that I'm interested in
is like a pastor or preacher or whatever,
cause I'm always talking about the Lord
and everything like that.
And that like, I wouldn't meet anybody like that.
And then I'm not high maintenance,
so I don't look the look, you know,
like, and I'm not the neatest person.
So I don't, I think what I want,
I don't measure up.
I think that's what it is.
Okay, so question for you.
On the not, how did you say the last one?
I'm not very neat.
How did you say that?
Yeah, I'm not very neat.
I'm clean, I'm just not very neat.
Like neat, organized, like neat.
So basically you're saying that you feel like
a pastor's wife has a certain role.
in a certain look, that that's what they look like and feel like and sound like.
And you're, you don't fit that.
Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, I didn't realize that's what I'm saying, but yeah, I think so.
Okay.
So what if God wants to help you?
I'm not saying that God has a pastor or a preacher for you.
I don't know what he, who he has.
Sometimes ladies, we think we want that.
And I'm going to just tell you all it's, it's not, it's amazing, but it's hard
to, okay, cause I'm a pastor's wife.
So I can tell you that.
If there's a lot that comes with that.
And I can tell you, I've always like believed, even when I was married before,
I really, I've always had a call on my life from day one, when I gave my life
to the Lord, I like, I knew there was something like God was speaking to me
a lot in those early days about his calling on my life.
So I've always known that I have a calling on my life.
And so I've always known that or believed that I was going
to do ministry with my spouse.
And that was even when I was married before, but when that all fell apart.
For a long time, I kind of struggled with, okay, what is this going to look like?
What if I kind of like what you're saying, Lolita, like, what if I never
find this person, because for a long time I would keep attracting people
that I felt like I was trying to kind of pull along with me and that
wasn't healthy and that wasn't good.
And so, um, one day I was listening to something and the, the minister
was preaching and he said, you should be running in such a way that when
you look over, you see them running too.
And y'all, it's not always a pastor or preacher, but they could still be
running hard after the Lord and doing ministry and serving in their calling.
And maybe that is who God has for some of you, but like some of you, you're
not going to even fully know what your spiritual DNA is yet, because you
haven't met your spirit mate yet.
And when y'all meet your spiritual DNA and both of y'all is going to get lit
right up, but some of you maybe will end up in a relationship with someone
that is a pastor, a preacher, a leader, whatever in the church.
Um, so I'm not saying again, that that can't be the case, but here's the
thing for you, Lolita, or anyone else that's resonating with what she said.
Who told you that you don't measure up?
Like, where did that come from for you?
And I'm going to venture to say that long before you thought you
wanted to be with a preacher, someone told you that you
didn't measure up in another way.
Yeah, I think so because I was dating a preacher's son.
And at the time I was not, I think I was saved, but I just
was not really living that way.
And I had a baby out of wedlock and his family never accepted the fact
that I had a baby on a wedlock.
And so he couldn't be with me and things like that.
Okay.
This is huge.
Have you ever processed this before?
Um, I thought about it, but I don't know if I ever really processed.
No, I don't think so.
I think this is a really big connection for you.
I felt it when you were saying it and God chose you and he chose your baby
and he's going to place you with a spirit mate that will love, you know,
whether you just have that one baby or additional kids that I feel like
God needs to heal that back there.
And there might be other things he reveals to you, but I encourage you
to do, um, even if you've already forgiven them for not receiving you
and not accepting you and anything else that comes up for you.
Um, but that you would choose to do a forgiveness prayer sheet towards, uh,
that family that maybe even, uh, the word rejection is coming up in my spirit.
So I don't know if you felt rejected.
I'm assuming that's underlying.
Yeah.
But I have done a lot of work and that one, I guess I didn't touch on.
Okay.
All right.
So this week we look forward to a report on how it goes when you start leaning
into this, uh, this area, Lolita, because, you know, as we say, the Lord
wants to heal the root sections, the root areas that these other
things grow up out of.
Okay.
And so even if that's not the, the total, you know, maybe there's other
things that God's going to reveal as you keep going, but it sounds like that's
the next place to focus on for right now.
Yeah.
So good.
Yeah.
Thank you.
And, uh, we'll be praying for God's absolute best for you because
he knows what it looks like.
He knows how they sound and all of the things.
Okay.
All right.
Who else is willing?
We have a few more minutes before we go into the next content.
So I wrote down when you started talking, there's a feeling like I'm not good enough
or belong.
And that's leading to like fear and insecurity.
So when you listed the whole line by line, I felt like I could relate to most of it.
And then it's like the low self esteem and the orphan mentality, I think.
Um, when was the first time you felt like you didn't belong?
Um, I think as a kid, to be honest, because I'm the youngest of five.
And the older kids, I think they were just joking with me that I was never one of them.
Because I was I joked, like, the brother who's two years older than me was the oops.
And I was like, the hell no.
Like, I was the unwanted surprise.
Okay, this is stuff you all joked about as kids.
Yeah, I mean, they joked with me about it, because some of my siblings are like 10 years
older than I am.
Yeah, yeah.
So, um, interestingly enough, I'm not saying that all jokes come out of sarcasm or pain,
but a lot of times they do, especially when there are sarcastic things or what might be
what might be played off as like a joke, but like that created separation.
Okay.
Whether they meant to or not, I don't think they were trying to like hurt you intentionally.
At least I mean, I don't know their heart, but I don't it sounds like kids just playing
and saying things.
But I am wondering if there was any kind of like hardship that they went through because
mom and dad had additional kids, you just never know.
So I encourage you to come out of alignment with, um, how did you say it?
Your brother before you was an oops, and you were a what?
I was like the oh, hell no.
Yeah.
So even though that was a joke, I actually think that like your brothers and sisters,
you can't change them if they partner with that, but you don't have to partner with that
anymore, because you're not an oh, hell no.
God formed you and predestined you to be here.
Yeah, actually, um, that is actually a theme I feel like throughout my life with from my
family, because anytime I didn't fit the mold, or I would just buck and talk back or say
like, no, we're going to try it this way.
They would I have always gotten like, you're not one of us, you won't necessarily look
like all of us or that you're just kind of like, yeah, like you don't belong.
Okay, this.
I mean, you're you're very calm right now.
I'm assuming you've done a lot of work around this already.
But I'm just I mean, is this something that hurts you if you actually like think about
it?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
So I want to encourage you to not just pass that over anymore and not partner with that.
Like, I literally want you this week to come out of agreement with those things.
Because while the enemy tried from the beginning to cause you to feel like an outsider in your
family, I feel the Holy Spirit on this.
You were never an outsider, you were you were sent there to bring change.
I believe that with all my heart, I believe you were sent to your family to bring change
and transformation in ways that they needed it.
You carry gifts on the inside of you that God wanted in this world.
And he wanted them in your family, too.
They just didn't know what to do with them.
Okay, so you have a design from day one, and God chose you, he wanted you, he formed you,
he knew everything that he needed to be in you.
And so unfortunately, at times, people don't know how to handle all that.
Okay.
Um, but I believe in the days ahead, the more that you come out of alignment with that you
don't belong or agree with them that you're not one of them.
And that's where the enemy can have that foothold.
Does that make sense?
And so as you come out of agreement and allow God to heal you and help you know that you
are good, like he makes us good, ladies, he makes us good.
He's what enables us to become everything that he created us to be.
And so every day we can show up and be like, okay, Lord, like, I might not feel secure in
this.
I might not feel good about myself in this area.
But help me, Lord, help me to hear what your Spirit's saying.
Help me to heal a little bit more in this area.
I used to pray all the time, like literally daily.
It was almost a year.
I can remember when I started praying it.
I was in that relationship with the girl's dad, and it just wasn't good.
I can remember crying, sitting out in the car after I had some kind of argument.
I mean, there were arguments all the time with this guy, like all the time.
And I can just remember praying like, Lord, help me to become more confident in you.
Help me to become more confident in you so that I can become more confident in me.
And I just remember praying that over and over.
Help me to know you more as love so that I can become more secure in your love and let
that change who, like how I show up, who, what I believe about myself, how I see myself,
like what I'm putting up with.
Like I just started like consistently praying that over and over and it did, it changed
me because the more that I asked him to show me who he was as love, like it just changed
the whole way I saw everything else.
So you are created in his image, my friend.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Yeah.
So good.
That was so good.
Um, Jen, were you going to go, yeah, go ahead and go.
Um, yeah.
What I shared in my group was like a belief, like a lie about God, like God, um, is good
to me in all the other areas of my life, but he won't be good to me in this area.
Okay.
Oh, go ahead.
Were you, were you finished?
Yeah.
That was kind of the gist of it.
Or sort of like, I guess also, like I was saying, like, it's not just with single, single
people.
Cause like, I see my single friends and I see, like, I can see like, yeah, of course
God's going to do something amazing in their love story.
You know?
Like it's, so I feel like the lie is not just about singleness.
It's more about like me in the context of singleness with God.
Okay.
So as you're looking like back at life, like for anybody that can resonate, can I see hands
who resonates with Jen?
You can raise your physical hand, digital hand, whatever works.
If y'all, I should show y'all, if you don't know how to raise your digital hand, if you
hover over the bottom of the screen, there's a little raise hand thing, or you can click
on more and I'll show you how to do that.
Okay.
So we have a lot of people that relate to what you just shared.
I saw other people raising hands to physically hands up.
Yeah.
So here's the thing, ladies.
If we believe that we're, we're standing in a line, I'm going to give you a visual.
Hopefully this is something that can help you.
If you imagine yourself standing in a line and you're waiting for whatever, let's say
a spirit mate in this regard, and you're almost to the front.
And then all of a sudden somebody comes from back behind and they go in front of you, kind
of like when you're on the freeway and people start to do that, you know, it's kind of like
a not good feeling, right?
But that's not really how it works, but that's how some of us perceive it because of the
dialogue internally that we are telling ourselves.
And so I want to encourage you all, if you have ever struggled with that lie that you're
waiting in line and you're like being so patient and you're doing everything that God has told
you to do, and he just keeps passing you by because he's blessing someone else instead.
Or someone, there's not enough men.
We have this scarcity mentality that we get into as well.
And instead of like waiting and trusting that the Lord will give us someone and waiting
is not a stop doing stuff, you all.
It's a daily partnering with God and walking it out.
We don't put ourselves in park.
We don't put ourselves in the waiting room and just wait for God to drop our spirit mate
in our lap.
But we're moving.
We're doing what God is showing us to do in that season.
Jackie talks a lot about, we want to go and harvest in the field that is ready to be reaped.
Some of you all right now in this season, you're not ready to reap the spirit mate yet.
But there's another thing that you can reap because that's ready to be reaped because
the fruit is blooming and blossoming.
And so you can go reap that field right now while God is helping prepare the other field.
So don't feel like just, just because if it's not ready yet, that means it's not coming.
But some of us believe here's the kicker.
Some of you actually believe the seeds not in the ground.
What do I mean by that?
What I mean by that is you don't believe that it's ever going to really happen for you.
At the core, some of you don't believe that God has that blessing for your life.
And so that's where you need to get to.
You need to like really uncover where does that start for you?
When did the belief first set in?
and that God was gonna bless other people and not your life.
Or that you should just settle and be okay being single
or whatever the dialogue is that started for you all.
So Jen, for you, I would just, you know, for everybody,
but just encourage you.
And I think that this is gonna partner
with some other things where I don't know,
like if you ever felt, do you have siblings?
I cannot remember.
I have half siblings from my dad's previous marriage.
Okay, so this is interesting.
The reason I asked you that is I kept seeing
like you having to give your stuff away to someone else.
And so I was like, okay, Lord, is this a sibling?
Like, you know, where it was yours,
but you felt like you had to keep giving it away.
And so I don't know if there's some healing
that needs to happen regarding the siblings
that are from the other marriage there.
Potentially even having, oh, I feel the Holy Spirit.
I don't know if you ever felt like you gave your,
like, it was almost like,
not that you had to give your dad away,
but like he got taken away essentially in your mind,
potentially, is this resonating?
There's something so huge on that, yeah.
Okay, okay, so I feel like that's why,
that's like at the root of why you believe.
Yeah, I'm gonna let that sit there for a minute.
Sometimes we need to simmer.
We need to simmer and marinate in something.
You have believed the lie
that you have to always give what's yours to someone else.
And that's not true, but in your heart,
because whatever happened there with your dad
and then seeing him be happy with other kids,
I think there's some exchange there
that happened in the spirit realm
where you partnered with lies
that you are subconsciously still partnering with.
You just haven't known it, okay?
And so as those get revealed more in the next few weeks,
because I feel like tonight's gonna be a huge
kind of burst this stuff open in a good way, okay?
Just remember, pain is profitable, okay?
Y'all say that with me, pain is profitable
and it's not long-term, okay?
In this process, you don't have to stay
in the intensive care unit forever,
but I think this is gonna probably feel a little painful
when you first go into it, okay?
But just don't quit, just keep moving through
because God has some real big healing for you
on the other side of this, I really believe that.
I feel like a lid is being kind of like opened up tonight.
Okay, y'all, God is so good.
He's so good, he knows what we need.
I said this this afternoon, I said it last week,
he knows how to get it to us, he knows where we are.
He loves you, Jen, he loves you
and he hasn't passed you over.
Sometimes y'all, we count ourselves out.
And I want y'all to know if any of you ever feel
like you made a mistake and you missed out on a good guy
because whatever reason,
there's plenty of good, healthy men out there
and God will bring someone to your life, okay?
All right.
All right, y'all ready to go into the next phase here?
I gotta move quick on this, revealing for healing.
I did this this afternoon too.
I wanna make sure we have time to explain it.
If we don't have time to coach on it,
we can unpack this stuff more in the group.
So I wanna make sure we have time to explain it.
I know this is a lot of work and I know y'all can always post
but I'll do my best so that you guys have time to share.
So I wanna bring up the revealing for healing cycle.
For those of you that are just starting, okay,
you're in week one or week two, don't worry.
This will be more and more explained in week three
but I'm still gonna show everybody
because we have people in all different weeks.
And so when we come together on the lives,
that's why I pull from all different weeks now, okay?
So you can still do those questions,
still come prepared because it gets your heart ready.
It gets your heart ready
for whatever we come in and talk about.
All right, so the revealing for healing cycle is this guy.
It is in week three, this worksheet here.
This is what it looks like.
Can everybody see that?
Yep, okay, awesome.
All right, so when you're working
on the revealing for healing,
y'all can do this with your notes tonight.
You can take notes on what I'm talking about.
So even if you don't have the worksheet yet,
if that's not unlocked for you,
you should be ready to start processing this stuff
even this week.
You're gonna start with the pink here.
I'm gonna walk through the cycle,
where it starts and where it ends.
And then I'm gonna actually give you some examples
from my own life, okay?
So the negative emotions, the pink is.
where you're gonna start.
And Jackie touches on this in the Supernatural Hope as well.
So this is the sheet that she uses in that explanation.
Then it goes into the painful memory.
Okay, so negative emotion is the thing
that we experience, our emotion that's negative.
And then we have, okay,
what painful memory is that connected to?
And a lot of times people are like,
what's the difference between painful memory
and a trauma story?
I'm gonna kind of explain that here in a little bit.
But from the painful memory, then we're like,
okay, Lord, what trauma story or stories
are those painful memories connected to?
And then we go into what are the lies believed
being revealed that are connected to these trauma stories?
And you all, we don't stop there, okay?
We don't stop short of going for the truth.
We go all the way through, okay, God,
this is the lie I've believed for a long time
because of this trauma, because of this pain.
I'm having these negative emotions,
but Lord, help me to know the truth.
Why?
Because we need the truth to replace the lie, okay?
So the truth is kind of like what I had you all
start working on last week, those declarations.
I started teaching you and preparing you.
So that's gonna help you know how to do
that God reveals the truth.
It's the same way.
You're gonna look for the truth to replace the lie.
The truth to replace the lie is the opposite of the lie, okay?
And then you can find scripture to support it.
So I'm now gonna walk you through this in my own life.
And these are just some examples, y'all.
I have so many things I could have shared with you,
but this is what I felt led to share tonight.
So my negative emotion was fear, specifically fear a lot.
I dealt with all kinds of fear, fear of the dark,
fear of man, fear of letting people down.
But tonight I'm gonna be talking around
the fear around men, okay?
So I felt fear when I would go around men
on a regular basis.
And then the painful memory that was then connected
to the fear of man, the painful memory.
So to me, the way I have done this is I always ask God
for the overarching, kind of the umbrella memory, okay?
That the other stuff would fall under.
So for me, abused by men, that was my painful memory,
overarching kind of thought, okay?
My trauma stories are what is underneath of that.
So is still more general, okay?
It's not like all the details,
but it is kind of unpacking that a little bit more.
So here are my examples for my trauma stories
that come up under the painful memory of abused by men.
Sexually abused by brothers and sister,
emotional, mental, spiritual abuse, et cetera,
my ex-husband, my former husband.
Additional trauma stories that were similar in nature
to these other two that connected
to the larger trauma stories.
I don't know how old,
but I believe I was in like elementary school.
I went to an event with my mom at a friend's house,
like her friend's house.
And there was a boy there that tried to lock me in a room
and not let me out.
So that was underneath of there too.
And then also when I was in high school,
I had a friend like shove me into a bathroom
and put a little ball down my shirt.
She thought it was so funny.
And then she had this boy come in
and he wouldn't let me out of the bathroom.
Again, that might not sound like a big deal,
but those were very traumatizing things
that then kind of went up
under all this other abuse with men.
Cause they were all connected to men.
And then that last one,
the reason I included that is because my friend,
someone that I thought was a friend of mine,
traumatized me and betrayed me that night.
And I didn't even fully know,
like I knew that I felt unsafe when that happened,
but I never, like I kind of moved on from that
and tried to act like everything was fine in our friendship,
but really nothing was ever the same after that.
Okay, so I want you all to see how that can work as well.
Okay, so what were the lies that I believed
that were revealed connected to these trauma stories?
I'm just gonna share two tonight.
I believe the lie that all men were abusive, are abusive,
and that I need to be afraid of men.
Okay, God revealed the truth to me.
Truth number one, I don't have to fear or be afraid.
Isaiah 41.10 says, so do not fear for I am with you.
Do not be dismayed for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41.13 says, for I am the Lord your God
who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,
do not fear, I will help you.
Truth number two.
to counteract the lie that I was believing.
I can trust God to protect me.
Psalm 121, seven through eight says,
"'The Lord will keep you from all harm.
"'He will watch over your life.
"'The Lord will watch over your coming and going,
"'both now and forevermore.'"
Y'all, God wants to bring truth and hope to all of you,
and he wants to help you go through
that revealing for healing cycle to get you to that place.
So as you are processing your life and your trauma
and the things that you go through,
I hope that you all will not just use
this revealing for healing worksheet
while you're in heart work.
I hope that you will keep it as a tool in your tool belt
as you journey through life.
That is really our heart's desire for you.
And even with the forgiveness sheets,
even myself the other day, I was like,
man, I really need to get the forgiveness sheet
back out myself about something.
And I was talking with a friend
about a certain situation that had happened.
Y'all, these can be things that we can use
long after we're out of this kind of coursework and program.
All right, here's your breakout question.
What is a negative emotion or memory
that God is bringing up in your spirit tonight
for revealing, for healing?
Okay, what is a negative emotion or memory
that God is bringing up in your spirit tonight
that he is revealing for healing?
Okay, you don't have to know
all the other pieces and parts tonight,
but we're just gonna start
with either the emotion or the memory.
Because sometimes y'all,
we might not know what our emotion is, but we know a memory.
And then we can start to unpack
what is the emotion that we're feeling connected to that.
Does that make sense?
Okay, I'm gonna put you in the breakouts.
I am gonna change your rooms and recreate these.
And here you go.
Short, brief and powerful, ladies.
Okay.
Hi there.
Bethany, can I ask a question?
Yeah, let me just,
I need to get these other folks situated.
Hi, Lauren, did you get knocked out of the room?
Well, I was gonna type a message.
My daughter's not feeling well,
so I'm gonna have to leave.
That's okay.
Okay, all right, thank you.
Yeah, it's really fun, so sorry to hear that.
Have a good night.
All right.
Sorry, sorry, I gotta get these people situated.
Some people sitting in rooms by themselves.
Oh, shoot.
All right.
Go ahead, Stephanie.
Oh, good night.
So when you did your negative list, right,
I'm the one that relisted out to me
that's really like on my heart since then
is to be seen and not to be heard, right?
How come with that type of emotional thing?
Because, you know, I was raised in the Caribbean,
so you hear it a lot.
And I realized, you know,
what I shared in the breakout room,
I realized that that has been a part of everything I did.
I never realized until you said it
that everything I do now as an adult
is like, you know, I tiptoe around things
because you want to be quiet,
but I didn't realize that was like from a root cause
of those words here as a child.
So how would I pray about it or how would I deal with it?
Like, are you asking how to then go through
the revealing for healing cycle with it?
Is that what you're asking me?
Yeah, sorry.
I just didn't know how to say it.
So I think-
That's okay.
That's all right.
I'm just clarifying.
So the not to be heard, how did you say it?
I'm so sorry.
As a child, I would say you should be seen
and not to be heard.
Okay.
I just want to make sure.
So that would be the painful, like overarching memory.
And so I would encourage you to ask the Lord
if you don't remember how that felt
when you were told that as a kid,
I would ask the Lord, like,
Lord, help me to remember how I felt.
when that happened with my parents?
Because at some point,
someone initially kind of did or said something,
even though it's a cultural thing,
there is a way that people are treated
that caused them to feel that way.
And so did you feel sad?
Did you feel afraid?
Did you, you know, but God can show you that feeling,
that emotion.
And then the other aspects of it,
if you go into that further,
and so like as the trauma story,
so when was a situation when that actually happened?
So for example,
when was there a time that you were heard
and got in trouble for it?
Does that make sense?
Yes, ma'am.
Okay.
And so then you're gonna go through
to the lies that you believe because of it.
So obviously lies that you could believe is
my voice doesn't matter.
You know, people don't care about how I feel.
I mean, there's,
again, I don't wanna tell you what your lies are.
Those are more like the Lord has to reveal the lies
that you've believed because of it.
But then as you unpack the lies,
that's what's gonna help you be able to know
how to then come up with the truth to replace the lie.
Does that make sense?
Yes, ma'am.
Okay, awesome.
Do you wanna,
they only have like a minute and 20 seconds left.
So it's okay if you wanna just hang here
while I pray for people.
Yes, ma'am.
All right, awesome.
Father, thank you so much for the conversations
that I even just had right now with Stephanie,
the conversations that are happening in the breakout rooms.
God, thank you for continuing to bring truth
and revelation,
even as we're trying to learn new concepts
and learn how to hear what your spirit is saying.
We thank you, God,
that you would reveal the emotions that we have felt
when we've gone through hard situations in the past.
Lord, I thank you that we would,
yeah, Lord, that those things would come to the surface
so that we would have a memory,
even acknowledge how we felt in the moment
that something happened.
So Lord, if we shove those things down,
I ask you to bring those things out of darkness
into the light so that we can feel the feel
so that you can heal the feel.
So Lord, we thank you in advance for doing that.
We thank you, God, for bringing truth and revelation.
We thank you for resurrection power
that we came to know through what you did with Jesus Christ
when he was risen from the grave,
the same power that like healed him,
rose him, resurrected him.
God is working in us, it's living in us.
We thank you, God, that you can come
and just revive us in every area of our lives.
We thank you that you would awaken us,
awake, awake, oh sleeper, rise up from the dead.
We thank you that you're gonna breathe life
into every dead situation, into every dead area.
You're gonna help us to hear
what your spirit is saying about us
louder than any voice of the enemy in this week ahead.
We thank you, God, that you would guard and protect
and keep watch over us and our families.
We thank you that you, even right now,
your eyes are always on us.
You don't slumber or sleep.
We thank you that you're working on our behalf,
even right now, God, in ways that we can't even ask,
think or imagine.
I thank you, God, that your word declares,
even as my husband preached yesterday,
the reminder of the fact that we are the apple
of your eye, Lord.
And that actually means little man in the eye.
So, God, that you actually,
that means that we are in the reflection of your eye,
which means you are close to us.
You're close enough that we can actually see ourselves
in your eye, in the apple of your eye,
the core of your eye.
So, Lord, I thank you that you'll help us
to not be afraid of your presence,
to know that you love us and that you care so much about us
and wanna see good things in our lives.
We thank you that you'll help us to partner with God,
that you are doing good things in our life,
that we can expect good things in the days ahead
and come out of agreement,
aligned with the lie that life is always going to be hard.
In Jesus' name, welcome back.
Praise the Lord, y'all, so much good stuff is happening.
Who is willing to share with the whole group
what you shared in your breakout?
We probably have time for maybe two.
I'm not sure, we'll see how it goes.
Anna, sorry, I had to make you proud a couple times here.
Oh, that's okay.
So, I actually put this in the like week check-in
as well earlier today.
So, it was just maybe a couple hours ago,
so maybe nobody has seen it yet, but I did share it.
I feel like the Lord, the past like a week and a half
has really been putting his finger on like feeling
like abandonment.
And it's weird because I don't think of myself
as having been neglected per se,
but I've just been like thinking back on,
you know, my dad traveled a lot for work
and so he was gone during the week.
and my mom clearly favored my brother.
And over the past like 10 years,
I've lost three best friends, like just been ghosted.
And one of them, I know the reason,
but the other ones just never told me the reason of it.
And so the thing when you had asked,
like what's coming up this evening,
and this is actually, originally,
I didn't like connect the dot,
but in the breakout room, we were able to connect a dot.
But basically this, and again,
I don't know why this is coming up from like 30 years ago,
but I was in middle school
and I was really interested in a guy
and he was interested in me,
but he was also interested in one of my friends.
And we weren't best friends,
but we were pretty good friends.
And he had told me, Anna, I'm interested in you,
but I'm also interested in your friend
and I'm just not sure who I should choose.
And I was pretty supportive of it and saying,
well, if you feel like you like her more,
then I'll still be your friend, that's okay.
And then he ended up choosing her.
And so when we talked about it in the breakout room,
we were talking about,
maybe it's not so much abandonment,
but like not being chosen.
Interesting, so good.
I also am kind of wondering,
how did you really feel about this boy?
Oh, I really wanted him to like me.
I really wanted to be in a relationship with him.
And so it's always been,
I've always been a giving person
and willing to self-sacrifice.
And so to me, as much as I wanted to be with him,
I was like, well, if he likes my friend
and that's what he really wants
and that's what she really wants,
then why would I stand in the way of that?
Right, and I understand your thought process there
because of what you said to us,
but here's what I feel like God
is asking me to pull out for you.
Okay.
And you also denied your true feelings in that moment.
Yeah.
And you chose to let other people,
like basically to me,
and this isn't something you would even
maybe know as a kid,
a lot of us do this kind of stuff
where it's like,
you just kind of bow out and self-sabotage.
That make sense?
Yeah.
And ladies, we have a lot of people in this community
right now doing this very thing
that are trying to step into relationships with people
and they're actually self-sabotaging.
They're counting themselves out.
Whether they meet somebody in person
or they're on a dating app
and they're like, yeah, that guy's, he's too good for me.
And they just decide to bow out
because they don't wanna go through the thought
of being rejected or the idea of not getting chosen.
And so while I do agree,
I think you guys are onto something really great
from that breakout room.
I think there is some pain there
probably from not being chosen,
but maybe there's also some pain.
And what is the word I wanna use?
Like where you actually like hurt yourself in a sense.
I can't think of the word right now.
It's not coming to me,
but just because of you not choosing yourself.
That make sense?
Yeah, it makes sense.
Yeah, so it could be self-betrayal.
That wasn't the word I was, it'll come to me,
but I'll respond on your thing in the group as well.
But I feel like just really asking the Lord,
he brought this up for a reason.
So I wanted to say that too.
This is where it's really important, ladies.
We don't always understand why God's bringing something up,
but there's always a reason.
And if you began as a young child,
denying your own feelings,
denying your own wants to make other people happy,
including your friends,
then I believe it probably started even before this boy.
So where you start asking the Lord,
okay, when is the first time I set my feelings aside
for someone else?
And again, ladies,
I'm not saying we shouldn't do that at times.
So there's balance, balance is key,
it can get overextended.
Jackie will talk about that a lot.
We can get overextended in the area of always giving,
always giving, always giving.
I talked about it this afternoon,
when we get on airplanes, they tell us,
hey, put your oxygen mask on yourself first.
Well, why did they tell us to do that?
Because if we don't, we can't help anybody else either.
And we won't survive, right?
So how many times are we not surviving
or having that thing happen
because we're actually self-sacrificing
to the point that it's harming us?
Yeah, and it's interesting you say that
because now I'm also,
attaching this to my mom always telling me I was selfish and what's interesting
about that is my it wasn't until I was like graduated from college before I
confronted her about it and said it's in it hurts me that you would say that
because in fact everyone else I know says that I'm too generous to a fault
and so I don't know why you don't see that in me I remember like just being
devastated and just bawling in front of her and saying I don't know why you
think that about me when was the first time you recall her telling you that do
you know I don't remember the first time but I mean as a very young child she
called me like you little princess and you just have to always have your way
and you're selfish and hey let me ask you a question when dad was home you
said he traveled a lot right yeah when dad was home was mom jealous of you
because of dad giving you attention not that not that I recall but I do know
that my dad did tend to favor me over my brother just like my mom favored my
brother over me but my dad wasn't there he was only home on the weekends
typically yeah so I feel like some stuff's probably gonna get revealed
through this yeah it sounds like mom and dad were pitting the kids against each
other whether they meant to or not mom and dad I think maybe had something
going on there that needed help and they didn't know how to deal with it and they
loved both of their kids but they then kind of like chose a kid does that make
sense yeah and so and again ladies I'm not saying people even know why they're
doing what they're doing hurt people hurt people period they don't mean to
some people choose to okay let's just be honest some people just choose
unhealthy things and they choose to be mean to people but there are a lot of
people that do things subconsciously out of their own brokenness that's not
healed and so I don't necessarily I'm not saying your mom or your dad intended
to do those things but I'm just sensing like just the way you're describing this
and the way it's kind of getting unpacked tonight even while I'm like
talking to you about it like your mom saying you little princess like if she
didn't say in a kind way it feels like there's something there to that for me
and that's where when I asked the Lord where's that coming from I immediately
thought of your dad like a lot of moms get jealous of their daughters if
someone else is paying them a lot of attention and so for me I got treated
like that because my dad's I looked a lot like my dad and my mom and dad were
at odds all the time and I looked a lot like my grandma which was my mom's or my
dad's mom and my dad's parents were really like they really favored me I was
the baby and my mom could never measure up in my grandma's eyes and so there was
just a lot of jealousy there and so I got caught in the middle of that between
them does that make sense yeah okay so good this is good you know again these
are not easy things for us to unpack at times ladies but there's gonna be so
much richness and healing that will come when like even though Anna was like I
don't know why this memories coming up this is where it's important like okay
Lord help me to see why you're revealing this to me help me to look at like what
are you trying to show me that's connected here and so just from asking a
couple questions it led to your mom telling you that you were selfish which
led to the her saying to you you little princess and you know these negative and
so continue to unpack that use that revealing for healing cycle this week
and see what else you can identify with the Lord showing you okay remember not
to dig it will come up when it's time just keep asking God to reveal things
for healing and he will he will when you're ready thank you you're welcome
okay ladies we're at 934 I am gonna let Emily go but if anyone needs to jump
off totally understand I want y'all to know that is totally okay but I am gonna
let Emily go ahead and share tonight go ahead
actually is very resonant to what happened to me I think when we were in
the breakout room I was thinking about saying other experience but then it
Thursday come up with the ladies I was saying as well in the group so I was so
before oh I'm in this program for a long time so I think I needed to come out I
see you know better me know about it I was here so long yeah so I need to come
out so I'm like consistently every every Monday I'm here so um I think for me I
have a memory of
two guys that I think beginning of the year someone introduced to me and then we chatted
on the phone once and then we were agreed to go on like go to gym and then later on the guy was
just texting me saying oh you you're so good but then I don't think we wanted to continue to proceed
knowing each other and then I was like okay the first guy was okay because I wasn't I wasn't
really into him so I was like okay bless you and then and then I moved on and then what happened
is after I think um there was a couple months later there was another guy that was introduced
to me and same thing we had I think we talked for like once online and then after a while he
texted me the same thing like exact same similar thing oh you're so good but then I don't think
it will work out and then I was like the first impression is I would I throw my phone away I
was like throw it I was like I was so mad that I was like I read the message I was like why are
they saying like you're so good but then it's not working out and I felt like I get um kind of voted
out before I even prove myself or I even like kind of like for a job right they didn't pick me and
stuff so I think I have that I believe the lie that like they will choose other people beside like
over me kind of and then I think another thing is like I do have felt that uh what I'm not saying
like I'm not true to my own feeling I don't know what I want kind of like so sometimes like I kind
of um I think maybe I I wasn't I wasn't showing in like interest to other people so then a lot of I
have guys friends but then a lot of them they just think that oh Emily is very good but then
they don't do not have any romantic feeling for me or toward me so I'm just kind of kind of stuck
here so but I'm like okay I need to continue on and then I think for the second guy actually
instead of I was angry but then at the same time I think God has pulled me down and the reasons why
he think it's not gonna work out but I think having that reason it partially heals my heart
because I think I get to respect him for uh because it's going to be a long distance he's in
LA I'm here in northern California anyway but then it's like I can get to see that it's not about me
it's just about preference and I think I'm learning that way as well too yeah it's so good Emily so
I'm going to jump in because I want to point out just so the ladies know too so Emily was saying
she's been here for a while I forget Emily are you in phase two now um no not yet okay yeah I'm
still trying to finish yeah yeah so that was kind of back before you started heartwork when that
happened with those guys um I think it was in the middle of it so it was kind of yeah so this is
where it's super important ladies and I'm not picking on Emily but in the heartwork this is
why we ask you all to just pause on dating because y'all are processing so much when you're in here
it's going to get all messed up when you try to talk to guys okay because like you need to unpack
what you're doing here and then when you're done with heartwork we would encourage you if you're
ready in phase two then you can step into that and there's so many reasons why I'm not going to
go into them tonight but um what I am going to I wanted to make sure the ladies knew kind of what
was going on there because we ask for people to press pause sometimes we have ladies from phase
two that come in and join us for heartwork because they're coming back because stuff's getting stirred
up when they're starting to date people we do heartwork over there too just so everyone knows
but sometimes it will happen so I just wanted clarity on I couldn't remember if Emily had moved
on to phase two so I do want to point out when you were talking you said I was voted out before I
could prove myself I was voted out before I could prove myself and that really stood out to me um
out of everything else you said here's the thing
we have to really partner ladies with God defended in this community because that is genuinely the
case at times where you're not going to understand why a guy all of a sudden just you know it doesn't
work out or whatever um even a guy that you might be talking to and he seems like a nice guy and
then all of a sudden he's like I want to be friends or you know you like you're saying like
you like you're saying like hey you're really good but like it's not going to work out and
they're just you know they move on at least in this case in my opinion it's great that they
were kind to you and they said something to you and they didn't just ghost you right
so but here's the key is that internally it's kind of like what I was coaching um
Yeah.
The self-sabotaging internally, like if you believe that you're always going to get voted
out before you can prove yourself, if you're believing that lie and you're partnering with
that, even when you're getting upset, you know, because you're frustrated, that's going
to be, what's going to play out.
And I don't want to coach too much on dating, but the heart work that needs to be done underneath
of that is why do you feel like you have to prove yourself?
That's what I, that's what I'm getting out of it tonight that I feel like the Lord wants
you to lean into is, is there, is there some reason underlying that you believe when you
enter relationships with men, that they're not going to already see your value, but you
have to prove it to them.
I have to like heart sells myself or like,
Well, yeah, I mean, we don't have to sell ourselves to anybody, ladies, if, if, if our
spirit mates come when they do, when our spirit mates come in contact with us and we are,
you know, becoming healthier and healthier every day, 100%, we believe that God's going
to highlight to us, to them and them, to us.
And they're going to know they've found a good thing because Proverbs 18 22 says a man
who finds a wife has found a good thing.
Okay.
So if we trust that God will highlight us to our spirit mate, then we can also release.
I know it's not always easy, but it can be done, but we underlying, if we think we have
to prove that we're good, why, where is that coming from?
Okay.
Did we have to prove ourselves to our parents?
Did we have to get better grades?
Did we have to, so where's that coming from?
And so that's what I would unpack with the Lord and ask him, where did that start for
you that you felt like you had to, you know, prove yourself to someone in order for them
to keep you.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
All right, ladies.
We're at nine 42, so I got to close this out.
Okay.
Thank you.
Yeah.
You're welcome.
Thanks for sharing everyone who shared tonight.
Thank you so much.
You shared in the chat.
And so everything that you share and how you show up here really matter matters ladies.
And here's, here's the kicker.
Even the fact that you show up at all matters.
It really does to your process.
So God bless you.
Thanks for showing up for yourself.
Not not, not, it's not about us.
You showed up for yourself and that is awesome.
So I hope that you all will kind of give yourself a hug when you get off here tonight and tell
yourself that you're proud of yourself.
I know these sound like small things, ladies, but we go through days and days and days of
never just like, man, Bethany, I'm like, I'm proud of myself for that.
Like love on yourself a little bit tonight.
Okay.
Here's your activation for this week before I pray.
It's an easy one.
I think for some of you all, it's going to be hard, but we're going to activate fun this
week.
Okay.
We're going to activate fun.
I want to encourage you all to have a lot of fun this week.
And here is specifically what I want you to do.
I want you to activate the inner child in yourself.
What was something that you did as a kid that you haven't done in a really long time?
Maybe it was swing on swings.
If you're in a really cold state, you're probably not going to feel like climbing no trees,
but maybe in the snow you make us a snow angel.
And I know some of you literally do that kind of stuff all the time, but some of you are
so serious and so stressed.
You haven't done anything fun in a really long time.
Okay.
Maybe you're going to jump in a rain puddle.
Maybe you're going to be silly and I don't know, play with Play-Doh.
I'm just kind of throwing ideas.
Baseball cards are great too.
I saw that.
Yeah.
I loved your post.
Maybe some of you all are going to have a PJ party and invite some friends over because
you haven't done a girl's night in a really long time and you need one, paint nails, whatever
you feel like.
I know some of you don't like spa stuff at all, but I'm just trying to say, have fun.
Y'all want to know what healthy men like?
Anyone want to guess?
Women who can have fun.
Yep, it's true.
They like it when we have fun and we can relax and be silly.
My husband loves to laugh every day.
I got dad jokes all the time, coming 24 seven dad jokes.
I told him sometimes they're funny and sometimes they aren't, but they still make me laugh.
I love it.
Yes.
Flower fight.
Anything.
I said today, I'll share one more thing and then I'll pray, I promise.
I'm going to use my pen like a microphone.
Some of y'all, I almost forgot I shared this,
Crystal's going to laugh, okay.
I'm going to start with the light layer first.
Some of y'all need to get a microphone out.
Crystal's laughing. She's getting a little red.
She knows what I'm about to say.
Some of y'all need to get a microphone,
fake one, and put some music
on and have a dance party in your house.
Here's the second layer to this,
and this is why she's turning red.
Yes, I did. I did say it.
I'm going to say it again tonight.
Now I am going to tell you,
you're going to want to close your blinds
and you're not going to want anyone to be able to see you,
but some of you all need to get comfortable
in your own skin again.
And so I'm going to encourage you to practice.
If you want to dance around in underwear, bra,
I know this sounds so silly, but I'm serious.
I know this sounds so like, okay, Bethany,
what does this have to do with my heart healing?
For some of you, everything.
Genuinely, some of you don't like to even see yourself
at all physically.
So I used to never, ever walk around
without layers of clothes on
because I grew up in an unsafe environment.
And so when I finally got into my own place in Lexington,
like I've had other places before,
but this was like the first place
that felt like a safe place.
I remember the first time the Lord was like,
you don't have to shut the doors all the time.
You don't have to, you know, walk around with layers.
Like, I just remember the first day,
the Lord was like, yeah,
just walk around your apartment
and get comfortable in bra and underwear
because one day you're going to be married
and you need to get more comfortable.
So I know I'm pushing that a little bit,
but I want you all to be like,
I want you all to be like, think about,
that's not like letting the inner kid out, okay?
But that, this is like a different side
of getting comfortable with yourself, okay?
So I added a layer to it.
Some of you all might need to like old school it,
just be free, close the blinds,
let God help you heal whatever you need to heal.
For some of you, that's what it is, okay?
All right, I said it, Crystal, you made it.
I think I was a little more silly this afternoon with it,
but it was fun, we had fun.
We love you all and we want to see you get free
in every way that is needed.
And so sometimes we'll share things
that seem like so insignificant to some of you,
but to other people, it's, you're feeling your heart beating
when I'm talking about that tonight.
So Father, we just thank you.
All right, hot tub naked.
Okay, Stephanie, look at her putting that in there.
Get comfortable with yourself.
Y'all just make sure nobody else can see you, okay?
Because in this community, we do believe in modesty, okay?
All right, I'm a pastor's wife, so I gotta tell you that.
No, I believe in modesty, but it is,
and I think she's being modest.
I'm just kind of being funny now.
Okay, promise I'll pray.
I promise I'll pray.
Yeah, she says nobody else can see her, good.
Keep the goods for your hubby for later,
but when you're by yourself, you can do that.
All right.
Father, thank you for silliness.
Thank you for fun.
Thank you for laughter.
We know that laughter is good medicine for our soul.
So in the midst of talking about heartwork
and painful things, God, thank you for a reprieve.
Thank you for rest.
Thank you for joy and speakable and full of glory
entering our lives.
God, we thank you that you are the great physician,
that nothing is too hard for you,
that you created the heavens and the earth.
You created every good thing that we can look around
and see.
God, I thank you that you're creating us in a new way,
that you're making us brand new,
that you're transforming us by the renewing of our minds,
that all old things have passed away
and behold, everything has become new in you.
And we thank you, God, that we will partner with you
in this journey of healing.
And we will this week,
show us the ways that we need to have fun,
help us to see and remember the things
that we have long put away when we were kids
and we have partnered with,
we're too adult to do that now
and help us to come out of that place, Lord,
and to allow you to awaken us in every way.
We thank you, God, for hope being breathed
and a fresh into each one of us as well.
In Jesus name, amen.
God bless you all.
We love you.
We'll see you in the group.
Have a good night, everyone.
Bye.
Thank you, bye.
Bye, everybody.