Hello, welcome, welcome. Hello everyone that is here so far. We have 15 ladies on. Hi Amy
W. Good to see you. I love your Christmas tree in the background there. No, I don't
have my Christmas tree up yet. I can't believe it. It's never, I never wait. Well, I shouldn't
say that. I think last year I was running behind too, but because I'm in Florida, it
just feels a little different this year. I'm finding that I don't feel as like it's
Christmas time. I should be decorating even though it's Christmas time. So little tidbit
here adjusting to Florida living. It's not, not complaining at all. I love it. It's warm,
but uh, I'm finding that I need to cultivate Christmas spirit here. Welcome. I'm just chit
chatting while people are jumping on. Hello. I see some ladies that are in phase two coming
back to visit us tonight as well. Welcome back. My name's Bethany Cooper. I'm one of
the heartwork coaches here in the community. If I've never met you before, or if you've
never joined a live session before, can you put in the chat for me that you're here joining
your first live session so we can say hi to you, myself in the ladies and welcome you
into the group, into the community. If you're joining us for the first time live tonight,
let me know in the chat. I'm going to go ahead and do our housekeeping. Raquel. Hi.
First time live session. Ebony is one of our coaches in the community, but tonight she's
joining us for the first time live heartwork session. She's here shadowing tonight. So
you all will get to know her some in phase two. I'm so glad to have some new ladies joining.
As you all know, we have new people joining all the time. And then we also have people
moving into phase two all the time. It's kind of fun and new and it's been a journey and we
will touch on different parts of the content for heartwork throughout your journey here.
So sometimes I'm going to coach on things that you're just not on that week yet and it's totally
okay. It's going to still prime the pump and help you heal. And then when you get to that content,
it might even bring things up more for you when you get there. So don't worry about that.
One of the things people get confused by is I thought I was supposed to bring questions to
answer during this heart check-in. You can process those and put those in the group. So if you guys
have questions that you're processing from heartwork and you're just not still not sure
what to do with those, go ahead and post those in the group and the coaches will respond to you
there. Um, because we may or may not cover those during a heartwork live session. Okay.
Um, and it's totally fine. You all just so you know, this is super informal as far as if you
need to come and go at different times, you just go ahead and, um, you can log off. I saw Raquel is
not able to stay the whole time. We're just glad that you can be here at all. Okay. So super
important for y'all to know that one of the things I do say though, sometimes people get nervous when
we start doing the breakout sessions and not everybody that jumps off is because of that,
but sometimes people will leave when we start breakout sessions. And I want you all to know,
like breakout sessions is a time for you to connect with another sister in the community
and process what you are learning and, uh, what we're unpacking in the heartwork.
But it's also a time for you to get breakthrough. A lot of people get breakthrough in those breakout
sessions. So I want to encourage you, even if it pushes you outside of your comfort zone,
that you would be willing to try to do something a little bit different while you're here. Okay.
We just want to plug a couple things for those of you that don't know this, or if you were not able
to hear the supernatural Saturday this past weekend, it's always amazing. You guys are
going to hear me say that all the time. A couple highlights from this past week. I want to encourage
you all to listen to that replay when you get a chance. Um, but Jackie was talking about making
space for God in this season, how God is not limited in his resources. That is about love
over survival and how we are children and no longer orphans. Y'all those are just high level
points. The whole thing, Holy spirit was really crushing it out of the park using Jackie. And
it's really going to help you in your heart work process. 100%. If you listen to that replay.
Um, so I want to encourage you all to do that. If you did not know, we have a special session
coming up this Thursday. Yay. Y'all are getting a sneak peek preview to phase three. So we have
multiple phases in this community. Phase one is the heartwork phase two is our love story
accelerator curriculum. That's where you're going to get like in small group coaching like this.
You're going to get coaching from our dating coaches, Ebony and Carla and some others.
Um, and then we have phase three. And so phase three is community growth acceleration,
and we continue to process of community together. It's really great. So this Thursday,
our special session is how to hear from God with special guests, Bethany Hicks.
If you've never heard of her before, she's incredible.
y'all. She's well, well known in the prophetic movement. She and her, I don't know if it's
co-owner, co-founder, I don't know what they call themselves, but Dana McCollum, they travel all
over and teach people how to hear from God and operate in the prophetic. Even if you don't even
know what the prophetic is, come, come and join us and learn how to hear from God in new ways.
This is what we are considering also a prep training, if you will, for anyone that would
be interested in our prophesy your year event. That is going to be on January 5th. It is an
additional cost, but it is literally life-changing you all. And again, even if some of you are like,
I don't even know if I believe in the prophetic, I don't know how to do that. I would encourage
you come, come and see what God is doing and how he wants to speak to you and through you
on January 5th as well. We'll have more information coming out about that prophesy your
year event very, very soon. All right. One thing I want to say specifically about the heartwork
process is this, your heart posture during this journey is key. Okay. What do I mean by that
specifically tonight is that when you come into the heartwork or even on your process through
your heart posture regarding what you can learn during this time is going to be pivotal for you.
Some individuals will come in. Yes. It's Thursday at six or 8 PM, excuse me, 8 PM Eastern time,
Thursday night. Thank you so much ladies for helping them. The link is already in Shelly.
We need to get you connected over to the app, you and Laura and a few others that you're still
finishing heartwork from our original group. So I will message you after and get you over
connected to our admin team. But on our heart posture, sometimes we all, myself included,
when we come into this group in this community, we've already done a lot of healing. We've done a
lot of work and sometimes people come in and like, we've literally had people say,
there's nothing new that I'm learning here. And y'all, I, I'm not saying we've got it all figured
out or that nobody has other information that's similar, but that blows my mind when I hear that
kind of stuff. Here's why, because I did a lot of learning and a lot of counseling and a lot of
other courses before I came into this community and God rocked my world. So maybe that's not going
to be your experience. I don't know, but I'm just saying, I think our heart posture has something to
do with it. If we come into any situation and we think we already know everything, well, then we're
probably not going to learn something new, right? No matter if it's this heart work or a class,
I catch myself even sometimes going to other leadership conventions and thinking like,
am I going to learn anything new here? And I really have to check my heart. So I want to
encourage you all just keep your hearts in a really good teachable place. And it's going to go
really, really well for you. Okay. That's my last announcement. I'm going to pray and we're
going to get started father. Thank you so much. Um, everything that you're doing right now, even,
even in the announcements, even in the preparations of bringing us all here, I just sense to something
you want to do super special tonight and every lady's heart, their minds, their bodies, their
spirits, their souls that we thank you for physical healings manifesting. We thank you for emotional,
mental, uh, healings manifesting through tonight. We thank you God for revelation and insight. God,
where we've been asking and seeking and knocking, and we've been wondering why we're going around
the same mountain over and over God. And we just thank you that you're going to bring truth right
to the core of those areas for some tonight for all. I hope for all, but Lord, we thank you for
this. Um, we thank you God for, um, sending Jesus and Jesus. We thank you for coming,
allowing your body to be broken and your blood to be shed for the forgiveness of our sins,
for our healing, for our freedom, for our forgiveness, for our redemption. We thank
you that you made a way for us to be one with you as you are one with the father.
Yeah. So we are no longer orphans. We are no longer without a family. So if we,
we believe we're on the outside, if we believe we're not getting picked, God, I pray that you
would help us to see that the gate is already open. There is no gate. You, you sent Jesus to
get rid of the gate. So we get to walk right into your arms father. And so I thank you tonight that
you'll help us to be able to do that a little bit more to understand that you're a good father who
has good gifts for us. And you also, Jesus, when you ascended, you sent the Holy spirit,
Holy spirit. We thank you that you're here, that you're our comforter. You're our counselor. You're
our guide. I thank you that you're going to weave in and out of conversations in this session. And
you're just going to bring truth. We thank you that where the spirit of the Lord is there's
freedom. There's Liberty for the captives. And we thank you that you're opening prison gates tonight
right now and throughout the night in Jesus name. Amen. Y'all the gate.
is removed. That was good. That was Holy Spirit. I know I talked about that. I don't know if it
was last week or the week before, but that just, man, that visual, that kind of accelerated what
God showed me before. Because what God showed me before that I told you all about was that
he showed me the door, the gate was always open. And tonight he's like, I just got rid of the gate.
So I don't know if y'all caught that. I don't know if you feel that, but I feel that. Maybe
that's what I needed. So I'm just going to celebrate in this for a minute. Y'all, the gate,
the things, what I mean by that is everything that we feel separates us from God or other people is
removed. So those of you that feel like you struggle to connect and relationship with people,
whether that's romantic or your family or friends, I just want you to receive that right
now. That is removed in the Holy Spirit. Like God is saying to you tonight that Jesus came,
he is the way, the truth, and the life. He came and he got rid of everything that separates us
from the father. And he made a way for us to be one with him as he is one with the father.
And guess what that means? They are, God is love. He himself is love. So if we're connected to them,
then we can get an upgrade in our love understanding. Amen. So tonight that wasn't my
plan. That's Holy Spirit's plan, I think. So we're getting an upgrade in love tonight.
That's going to be the theme throughout. Even as I talk about the content, that's going to be our
theme throughout. Okay. We're getting an upgrade in our ability to receive and give love. Y'all,
we're going to talk about vows and forgiveness. So how does that connect to being able to receive
and give love a whole lot? So I'm going to go ahead and dive right into it. Inner vows, what
are they? Inner vows are a determination set in our mind and heart to protect us from pain.
At some point in our life, we experienced some kind of trauma or wounds, some kind of pain.
And when that happened, we believed a lie of the enemy. And because of that, we erected walls
subconsciously. We don't do this physically, typically. This is a subconscious wall that we
start to build and erect that not only keeps people out in our minds, it keeps us protected,
but it's also keeping God out, y'all. And so tonight I want to encourage you just to already
start asking the Lord. You might even think, well, I don't know if I have vows. I don't think I have
vows. I hear that a lot. I will tell you that sometimes people have a hard time determining
what the vows are, but hopefully tonight you'll gain a little bit more insight that will help you
be able to do that. Romans 12.2 says, do not conform to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test what God's will
is. His good, pleasing, and perfect will. Y'all, I want you to think about the soil in your hearts.
We talked about this a little bit last week, how the heart is a womb and everything that we put
into our hearts, everything that we allow to enter in there is impacting our whole life.
So the soil in your heart is important. That includes thoughts that we think, that includes
things that are in our subconscious. Y'all, we can't change what, if something's in us
and we don't know it's there, please don't guilt yourself or allow the enemy to shame
and bring condemnation because you don't have revelation of something.
And what I mean by that is sometimes you don't even know the vows you've made subconsciously
out of pain. Sometimes you all won't remember things that happened to you
because your body was built to defend you and protect you. And subconsciously it helps,
you know, kind of keep something away from your mind until you get to a place where your body and
your, your mind is able to begin processing it. There are reasons why we don't remember
things that we go through. And so I want to encourage you that what like to consider,
what are you putting into your heart? You know, what movies are you watching? What kind of music
are you listening to? What kind of people are you surrounding yourself? What are they saying?
You know, even not that I'm saying stop being with your family, but y'all want to consider
around the holidays, like what is, what is the talk of the town, if you will, what's the talk
of the town in your family? What is the storyline that's being conveyed when you're around family
and friends? Is it blessing? Is it cursing? Is it making fun of men? Is it, you know, blessing men?
Is it, you know, I don't know. Let's just, you know,
unpack this. Let's let's see in the chat. What are some things
that you're even right now recognizing is a storyline that
your family has good or bad. And you can you can say a sentence,
a phrase, a thought, it can be a word, it doesn't have to be the
whole thing explained. It can just be like you put a word in
the chat, and you know what it represents. That's totally fine.
So just start to put those in the chat for me. What is going
into the soil of your hearts by and from the people that you are
surrounding yourself with? And sometimes again, those are
family and you can't necessarily change that. Yeah, lots of
politics and TV, no good men out there, pulling a Pam. Okay. I
know that means something to you, Sarah. Criticism. My mom
kind of pressures me because I'm not married yet. Yep. You all
that's going to be really big for those of you that have
parents or friends that are like that around the holidays. But
praise God, God's already given you the shield of faith. So you
can just erect that sucker and just block that stuff out. I
know that sounds really easy, but you all that is effective.
And you and we can kind of teach you all. And if you put if any
of you all deal with that stuff with your family or friends, if
you put a post in the group, I'll kind of give you some
thoughts of how you can lovingly just shut that stuff down and
move forward in a kind way. So unlucky in love, negative with
politics, tons of TV. Brother does all the talking. All right.
Yeah. Sometimes y'all got people in your family where they just
take over. All right. gift giving time is my love
language. All right. Need someone to take care of you when
you get old. All right. These are good. Keep putting them in
if you think of things I'm going to read something to you. We're
going to start talking about these inner vows more. All
right. As y'all remember, we can't just get rid of lies, we
have to replace the lies with the truth. And that's what helps
us overcome and defeat the lies of the enemy. It's it's
replacing healing, healing in our hearts and replacing those
lies with the truth. So that's where we're picking up. And she
says here, you can replace the lies you believed and most
importantly, the vows you made as a result of them. So again,
the vows that we make are a result of the lies that we have
believed because of trauma. When we experience these hurts
in life, they make us sad. And when we are sad, that's when
anger shows up. Anger is always the defender. So if you're
someone where you just really have a lot of anger, even if
it's not outward anger, y'all people experience a lot of anger
internally, that may never do it externally. So if you feel anger
and rage on the inside, or you feel like life is out of control
and you feel anger because of it, anger is always the
defender. It always shows up when those wounded and vulnerable
parts of our hearts feel threatened. I think of it as
her bodyguard. So when anger is around, we feel strong. And we
start to make inner vows. Here are some of them nobody's ever
going to hurt me again. I don't care about anyone. I can't trust
anyone. I will never turn out like my mother or father. I
won't be made a fool anymore. No one is ever going to tell me
what to do. I can't tell anybody about this. I will be
perfect from now on so that nobody can reject me. Those are
just some of them that she listed in the book. We make a
decision to harden our hearts, again, and it can even be that
subconscious. Sometimes it's an overt decision. Sometimes we're
literally like, I'm never doing that again. And we say it out
loud, don't we? And then sometimes it's that internal, I
am never gonna let anyone hurt me ever again. Okay, we make a
decision and that decision heart, our hearts become harder
and harder, the more that we make those vows. And it makes
sense at the moment. Because it's a self protection
mechanism. We think if we make these vows and build up these
walls around our hearts that we can keep bad things out. But if
you remember, even as I was praying, or maybe when I
started, when we have these walls, it also keeps God out. It
keeps people out, it keeps love out, keeps good things from
getting in. So to stop surviving and start thriving, we are going
to have to be able to let a lot of good things in. So how do we
do that? We break away from these inner vows, we heal and we
start to let the walls come down. And earlier today, I
don't know if it was when I was praying at the ending of the
session, but this just feel led to say this, God isn't looking
to bring a wrecking ball, ladies. He's not just come in,
looking to come with a big wrecking ball, just wreck that
wall down. No, remember, he comes as a gentleman, and he
knocks on the door of our hearts. And we have a choice
whether or not we're going to take that do not enter sign
down. We can bring our walls down.
One brick at a time, we can let God do it supernaturally
and bring the wall down,
but he's not coming with a huge wrecking ball
to wreck your life, okay?
Super important, the perspective that you have
regarding this healing process.
I wanna also mention just a couple other inner vowels.
I said a lot of them from the book.
Here are a couple other ones that I wanna add to that.
I'll never be able to make anyone happy.
I will never date or marry a Larry, John, Joseph,
y'all fill in the blank with the name.
It can be someone that hurt us before,
but people genuinely make these kinds of vowels,
especially if for some reason,
coincidentally they date or marry another person
with a similar name and both of those men
end up being people that hurt them,
then they definitely decide that someone with that name
is a no-go for them, okay?
And maybe saying I'll never date or marry someone
with a certain ethnicity.
It can also be someone with a certain type of job.
I hear a lot of pastor's kids or people that grew up
where their parents were in ministry
or someone that they loved was in ministry,
where they're just like, I'm never marrying someone
that's gonna be a pastor in ministry.
I hear it a lot regarding military, police officers,
it's all kinds of stuff you all,
but those are some big ones.
And then I think this one was in the book,
I'll never let my guard down again.
And then the one with the mom or dad,
I will never be like my mother or father.
I want you just to be thinking about
what book is Bethany talking about
from the heartwork book, ladies.
So that what I read to you was from the heartwork book
and I just never share pages because
your ebook pages are different than my physical copy.
And so I want you to be thinking about things
that your mom or dad or somebody could be grandma,
whoever did, if it wasn't a negative experience
that you at some point said,
yeah, I'm never gonna be like them.
Okay, be thinking about that
as we're processing this tonight.
Do you ever make statements or have thoughts
that include words like always or never?
Always or never?
They always do that.
I always get passed over.
Men never come through for me.
Men never pick me.
I'm never seen or noticed.
Note this, always or never statements
or thoughts that we have can signal areas
where we have inner vows at work.
So if you tend to, I'll give you guys one
that shows up for me, even still now.
Men never really clean.
And I know that sounds like such a small thing,
but growing up, my mom was a single mom with four kids
and I had two older brothers and an older sister
and my oldest brother was nine years older.
So he moved out once I started becoming a teenager,
but my other brother, he was still there.
He was only four years older and he slept most of the day.
My mom would leave every day for work
and leave us a chore list
and my brother would not get out of bed.
Well, when my mom got home, if that chore list wasn't done,
he wasn't the one that got in trouble by himself
if his chores weren't done.
Guess who all got in trouble?
We all did, including myself.
And so I felt responsibility
to make sure he got his chores done.
Well, that started a really unhealthy pattern in me.
So when I then went into relationships
where I felt like they weren't doing something
to help carry the load, I would just do it
and then I would get resentful for doing it
like because they weren't doing it.
Does that make sense?
All right.
So these are ways that we,
even if someone does help in some way,
but if they don't for one time or a lot,
or there's a repetitiveness
where they're not doing something and you feel,
we feel like they're not contributing or they're not,
we kind of take a stance like men never do this.
Men are always this.
And we do this with other people too,
but y'all, we do this a lot regarding men.
So I wanna encourage you just to be very aware
as you continue through the heartwork
of these always and never statements
that tend to kind of percolate in your spirit
and come to the surface at times.
All right.
You're gonna go into your first breakout room.
So Ebony, you'll stay with me.
If I have any other leaders on that are training,
want you all to stay with me when I do the breakouts because I'll just rearrange the ladies.
Your question ladies tonight that are in the heartwork course,
what inner vows do you need to come out of alignment with?
What inner vows do you need to come out of alignment with? Okay, I'm gonna set these breakouts up.
I'm gonna set this first one up for eight minutes ladies. Okay, so if you have extra time after you
talk about the vows then you can go ahead and talk about like where you're from, you know,
what led you to the heartwork, but get to know each other a little bit, but first answer what
inner vows do you need to come out of alignment with today, tonight. Go ahead and click to join
those rooms. All right, if anyone's not able to join just put that in the chat for me so that I
know to move other people around. All right, just trying to make sure we get everyone situated. Give
me a minute ladies. All right, Father we just thank you right now for everything that you're
already doing. We thank you God for revealings for healing that are taking place. God we thank
you for helping us to see things that we don't see. We thank you that you're bringing everything
out of darkness into the light and your perfect timing. We thank you God that you would just
continue to accelerate supernatural healing and grace upon every one of these ladies in the groups
as they're talking, those that are going to watch this replay later, those that are here in this
chat room with me. God we thank you that you are the great physician and nothing is too hard for
you. We thank you that you will, yes Lord, just remove any barriers or obstacles that the enemy
has sent to derail our healing process. We thank you Lord for divine revelation and insight. We
thank you God that you would help us to, yeah Lord, just anything from when we were children
where the wounds are still fresh underneath the surface and they've just been scabbed over
because of survival modes. We thank you that you would go into the recesses, into the core
of our being and just wash over us with divine healing oil from heaven tonight. We thank you
God that you would restore all of the broken and fallen places. God that you would make them better
than they were before they were broken. God that you are more than able to do exceedingly,
exceedingly, excuse me, abundantly above all we could ever ask or think or imagine. We thank you
God for bringing life and redemption where there's been ashes. We thank you for the oil of joy for
mourning and where there's been heaviness. We thank you God that you would remove heaviness.
Ladies, I'm looking for something while I'm praying because it just, the Lord reminded me
this week that I came across, and I don't know if I'll be able to find it, a list of things
regarding, yeah, yeah, yeah, I found it. Okay, so the scripture that talks about, hi Natasha,
they're in breakout rooms talking right now about what intervals do they need to come out
of alignment with. I'm going to put you in a breakout. You can join the conversation with them.
There you go. So it, it comes from the scripture, you know, fearfully and wonderfully made.
In my mind, I can't think of what scripture that is right now, but I found all the definitions when
I looked up the Greek of these words, and I just want to kind of read this over you all.
Fearfully is to cause astonishment and awe, to be held in awe, to inspire reverence. So if we're
fearfully made, it means that God made us in such a way to cause astonishment and awe,
that he wanted us to be held in awe by other people, and he wanted to inspire reverence.
It says wonderfully here, to be distinct, marked out, to be distinguished,
wonderful. So if we are fearfully and wonderfully made, God caused us to cause astonishment and to
be distinct, to be distinguished and set apart from other people. Marvelous, to be marvelous,
to be wonderful, to be surpassing, to be extraordinary.
These are the kind of things that God created us to be, ladies, and we don't need to feel guilt or
shame or condemnation if we don't feel that way right now, but God wants us to have an upgrade.
He wants to take us to the new level, to the new place, and he wants to bring healing and life and
redemption in the places where we've experienced pain that causes us to live below these things.
So if you are feeling any not like where you don't believe you're fearfully and wonderfully
made or that you're marvelous, I want to encourage you to just really lean into that this week and be
praying for God to give you an upgrade in your view of yourself and how he created you to be,
because he did create you to be prosperous in every area, okay? Psalm 1-3 says,
He will be standing firm like a flourishing tree, planted by God's design, deeply rooted by the
brooks of bliss, bearing fruit in every season of his life. He is never dry, never fainting, ever blessed,
and ever prosperous. Lord, let that be so for all of us. Let us go into seasons where we would be
flourishing, no matter what the enemy brought in our lives from the past. Yes, Ariane, thank you.
Psalm 139, 14, fearfully and wonderfully made. God, thank you that you would take us into seasons
where we would be deeply rooted by the brooks of bliss, that we would bear fruit in every season.
Hi, Marley. They're in breakouts talking about vows that they want to come out of alignment
with today. I can put you in and you can just join a conversation or listen in until we come
back together if you want to. That link is there for you. So Lord, we just thank you that Psalm 37, 8
also says, stay away from anger and revenge. Keep envy far from you, for it only leads you into
lies. Gosh, that's so good regarding the vows that we're talking about tonight. So Lord, I just thank
you that as your daughters, as dearly beloved daughters, that you would help us to heal in
every area. Lord, that you would help us to in places where we feel anger. God, that we would
not seek revenge, that we would seek forgiveness, that we would seek grace and mercy, and not only
to receive it for ourselves, but to give it away to other people. Lord, we thank you for just refining
us and renewing us, transforming our understanding. Thank you, Lord, that you would help us to see
other people through your eyes. It doesn't mean, Lord, that we have to forget what we've
gone through, but thank you, God, that you give us the ability. You forgave us so that we can then
forgive. Help us to walk in the same ways that Jesus walked, and to keep envy far away from us. We
thank you that we don't have to walk in jealousy or envy. We can turn away from all of those things
and walk in the pathways of righteousness for your name's sake. So, Lord, we thank you that you would
lead us in that way tonight in a greater level. James 5, 11 through 12, says this, we give great
honor to those who endure under suffering. For instance, you know about Job, a man of great
endurance. You can see how the Lord was kind to him at the end, for the Lord is full of tenderness
and mercy. So, again, a reminder, ladies, that no matter how our story began,
no matter what the past years of our life have included, we can have the latter years be greater
than the former years. The Bible actually talks about that as well. So, I want to encourage you
to partner with the truth that God is kind, and he can convey his tender mercies towards us on a
daily basis. So, do you need to receive more of his tender mercy today, tonight? I keep forgetting,
it's nighttime, y'all. If you do, you can just pray, Lord, help me to receive your tender mercies
a little bit more tonight. If there's anything that's causing me to believe that you're not
a God of tender mercy and kindness, help me to receive the revelation that I need, the insights
that I need, the healing that I need, so that I can receive an upgrade in my view and perspective,
a view as God the Father. Jeremiah 24, 7 says, I will give them hearts that recognize me as the
Lord. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me wholeheartedly. So,
Lord, we just thank you right now that you would give us hearts that recognize you, spirits that
hear what you are saying, eyes that see what your spirit is doing, and that we would recognize that
we are your daughters, that we are made in your image, and that you love us, that you are always
in pursuit of our heart, that nothing can separate us from your love, not height, nor depth, nor
principality, nor power, nor things in the present, nor things to come. So, Lord, help us to partner with that.
truth tonight and to receive your love in a fresh way. Help us to open up wide. We're
going to talk about this in a little bit later, ladies, about literally what does it mean
to open our arms up wide and receive everything that God has for us. Welcome back, everyone.
I had a great little chat while y'all were gone. So if you want to go back and listen
to that, you might want to catch that. I was talking about some definitions of the scripture
fearfully and wonderfully made and praying some scriptures and all the kinds of things.
Welcome back. Who is willing to share with the whole group what you shared in your private
breakout group? Remember, it always tends to take one or two and then we get the thing
rolling. Who is willing to share tonight? Oh, sorry. I just saw Samsung. I just saw
your message. I apologize. Okay, Karen, go ahead.
So it's not always or never statements and I might need help putting it into a statement.
This has come up a lot and it's something I shared with the root of what I shared a
few weeks ago that you commented on that when my dad got really sick when I was about 11
and then he got really sick when I was 16. Both of those times I took away from that
that to be married would be to be in that kind of pain. Like my mom was carrying the
burden of the household. Her mom had just died. We had to use the inheritance to survive
because my dad couldn't work. My sister was at college. My best friend of a grandma had
just died. My brother was a senior and doing his own thing. So like I had to just figure
out life on my own. Like nobody else had capacity for my emotional burdens. So it has bred and
I remember like making a vow. I don't have the words for the vow, but I remember deciding
like I'm never going to be in that spot that my mom's in. And I've tried to break that
vow several times and it doesn't, it seems to still be a protective mechanism in me that
it's safer to operate on my own, even though it's very lonely. It's not what I really want.
So tell me when you say never going to be in the spot my mom was in. Tell me, like I
know you just kind of explained it, but from an emotional perspective, tell me what that
means.
She was alone, even though she was in a marriage, holding the burden of like her husband was
falling apart. He was in depression, anxiety, and it wasn't his fault. It's not like he
chose that.
So for you as a kid though, looking at it through the lens, try to like, and it's okay
if you don't know it tonight, but little Karen, try to think kind of like, what did
that feel like to see your mom feeling alone or being that burden carrier? Because that's
the emotion.
Yeah. Pressure, lots of pressure.
So you felt pressure or you feel like your mom felt pressure?
I know my mom felt pressure cause we've talked about it. For me as a kid, it was scary. Like
there was definitely moments where I thought, are my parents going to stay together? I,
when I was 16, we were in California. We moved there for family support. Didn't get it. I
ended up flying back to New Hampshire to finish my senior year. And I left thinking, are both
parents coming back to New Hampshire or we'll just one. Like I seriously went for two weeks
thinking my parents aren't going to stay together.
Okay. So underlying what I'm hearing you say, cause you said it felt scary. So the
underlying emotion is fear. Okay. So we kind of worked through that a little bit last week.
If you weren't here, definitely check out that replay or even maybe go watch it again.
Cause I think additional revelation. But I do think you're already onto the vow because
you said I'm never going to be in that spot. So that spot is married and alone. Is that
what that spot is? Maybe it's more of the fear factor of like the provision. Cause that's
a huge driver in my life is, am I secure provision wise, like money security roof over the head
food on the table.
Okay. So we're getting to the core here. Do you see why I was asking some of those questions?
So underlying this whole thing is a spirit of fear. Okay. So, um, fear about provision
fear about being alone. Um, and so we don't want to dig.
But I do want to nudge you to go like this week, spend some time with the Lord to kind
of just ask him, like, what other specific memories is the fear connected to?
For example, right now, you're telling us kind of the overarching very quick, which
makes sense.
But like, you, you specifically said 11 and 16.
Okay.
So I almost wonder if there's some specific fear things when those two timeframes, but
I don't want to speak like I want the Lord to guide this for you.
But that specific question is Lord, reveal to me the times where the fear took root.
Okay, because we need him to reveal to you where that fear started.
Okay, so that initial again, remember, ladies, like this is for everyone, I'm just going
to kind of speak to everyone now to any time we have dynamics like this, where, you know,
she's saying she's done work with this before, but she's still feeling like there's that
stronghold.
Okay, because that's what's happening.
There's a stronghold there, most likely.
And so what we need is we need revelation to the root.
And so the best thing that we can do is ask the Lord to reveal and trust whatever comes
up.
Because if we pursue that, and we find out, okay, that's not actually the initial time,
the Lord will eventually reveal to you what the initial thing is.
But a lot of times, you need to process as you go.
And there's a reason that he reveals the things that need to be revealed at this certain timing.
Okay.
So just start with whatever he reveals when you seek him about that specifically.
And you can even come into the group and do a post about it.
And we can kind of coach you further through that.
Because I do think there's, I have a feeling there's a couple things connected to that.
Because typically, like the verbiage that you said is, I've worked on this before, but
I feel like that still, you said something that made me think strongholds.
So a lot of times when that's the case, it's not just this current thing.
It's a lot of other things that happened before that each time it happened, it built stronger
and stronger that fortified place.
When we, because it basically, we believed the lie over and over and over.
Does that make sense?
It does.
Yeah.
Very much so.
Yeah.
So I look forward to as, and again, ladies don't ever put pressure on yourself.
Just trust the process.
So hopefully it comes up this week.
It might even come up tonight while you're sleeping.
I mean, it could come up anytime, but it doesn't come up right away.
Just trust the process.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you.
Great.
You're welcome.
Anyone else who else is going to share for us tonight?
I know some of y'all have some stuff to work through tonight's the night.
Let's do it.
Who's willing?
Okay.
I'll go.
Awesome.
Go ahead, Stephanie.
I want to thank Nikki in the room, sorry if I lose my voice singing all day.
And I didn't, by talking to her, when we went through what you told us, it let me realize
so many other issues that I was having by the questions she asked me.
And so I shared about my body, how my body is, because my ex-husband used to tell me
that I degrade my body.
So I'm very like overcompensating areas.
I think thinking that if I hide it, you know, and I try to do things hoping that I don't
attract somebody like that.
But then in my head, I'm thinking that's why, because I don't have a big bottom or I don't,
because I don't have this tiny waistline, I'm thinking that's why I'm not attracting
anybody.
I can't believe I just said that aloud, attracted anybody.
And so it was, that was like a really a moment for me because I never realized how much it
really affected me.
And by, you know, but Nikki was able to help me to help me through it by talking me through
it.
So it was, it was just something really good for me tonight, like that way.
Okay.
This is really good.
So Stephanie, what is the vow?
What do you think is the vow that you made?
Because you're saying sometimes you do things to overcompensate regarding your body.
So do you know, and it's okay if not, like I said, do you know what the vow is that you
made?
That I would never find somebody who would degrade my body like that.
But then I, I will do things in order to like, not take care of my body thinking that, you
know, because of how I feel about it, I don't know if that makes sense.
It does.
So here, here's some of the things I'm going to help you all do as well.
So if we say things like, I don't want to date someone and not that Stephanie saying
this, but I'm just using this as an example.
I don't want to date someone abusive.
Okay.
That's a God non-negotiable.
So that's a little different than a vow.
And so Stephanie is saying she doesn't want to be with someone who's going to degrade
her body.
That's a good thing to like that.
We shouldn't want to be with someone that is going to not value us.
Okay.
But underneath of that, what she's saying is that then sometimes she would, if I'm understanding
correctly, and you can correct me, Stephanie, if I'm not, sometimes you might have chosen
things where you were actually devaluing yourself.
Is that correct?
You hit it on the head.
Thank you for saying it the way I should.
It's okay.
This, and this is how we all learn ladies.
I want you all to know.
Nope.
There's never a dumb thing anybody says in here ever.
And they're like, this is how we unpack things.
And it's okay for y'all to even say, I don't, I don't actually know what my vow is.
I should have told you all that before you went into the breakout I meant to.
So I'll tell you that now.
It's okay.
If you don't know what it is yet, that's part of the process because we need the Lord to
reveal these things to us.
And so the vow, maybe at some point is, you know, where's my list at, sorry, I gotta look
and see what I said here.
You know, I'm never going to let anyone hurt me ever again.
That's a vow.
Do you see the difference there?
Okay.
So, but then why do we then let people hurt us, like do those things and not treat us
with value?
Well, it's because internally we don't value ourself to some level or degree.
And sometimes we like, I used to feel like I valued myself, but then when I was looking
at that past relationship that I got into and how I let myself be treated again, even
after I had gone through that horrible marriage and divorce, and I said, I was never going
to be with people like that again.
And then two times after that attracted people that were not only similar, but to some extent
worse.
And I had to look at underlying because I needed healing.
My counterfeit identity was like basically subconsciously convincing me that I could
not get someone better.
That says right there, that's it.
And you all, you can, there are good men out there.
We as we heal, God will take us into new circles, new spheres of influence, new people, you
know, but if we continue to stay where we are or where we were not only physically or
emotionally or spiritually, but mentally are what we think is like half the battle.
It's also what's going on in here.
Remember Jackie said, you know, we want to get what's up here down into our hearts.
And that happens through healing and revelation.
Okay.
So for Stephanie and anyone else, let's see the hands.
Anyone else struggle with, um, thinking good things about your body and valuing yourself.
You can raise, if y'all don't know how for our newbies, if you don't know how to raise
your hand digitally, if you hover over your screen, um, there is an actually a raise hand,
a little button that you can push.
If you don't see that, there's also a more button, anyone else, or you can put it in
the chat too.
If you, if you're not comfortable doing that, it's totally fine.
Put in the chat for us if that's you.
Okay.
So now we know a couple people can relate to you, Stephanie.
So you're not alone.
Not that we're like, yes, that's great.
But here's the thing, ladies, we have to get to a place where we see really where we're
at and acknowledge that so that we can move forward in a healthier way.
So I had to be willing to, um, really own my side of the street, if you will.
And I needed to see that I was a common denominator in those relationships.
Not because I was so unhealthy and so bad, but I did need healing and I needed more healing
than I even knew regarding the sexual abuse I had gone through as a kid.
And I had already gone through extensive healing from that, but there was so much more the
Lord wanted to do in me.
And even, um, my dad was a drug addict and alcoholic, and I just had so much abandonment.
My mom, um, thank God stayed, but she was.
miserable most of my life. And it was just tough. Like she
didn't want to get out of bed. And there's just a lot of stuff,
you know. And so sometimes it just takes some time. And so I
want to encourage you all sometimes some of us it might
take a little bit longer because we've been through a whole lot.
But by God's grace, he will get you there and you're going to
have a great life. It will be better. Just keep moving forward.
Don't stop. Don't take the lies of the enemy and start living
back into those. Because you have a divine opportunity
literally let God transform your whole life. Seriously, I promise.
So keep sticking with the truth. And I believe he's going to set
you free in ways you couldn't even imagine right now. All
right, we're going to start to talk about forgiveness. I want
to encourage you all that God has good things in store for you
regarding forgiveness tonight. Forgiveness is what breaks the
tether. So I gave a couple examples this afternoon. I want
to give both of those very quickly again tonight. I like to
give the tether ball example just because I like to talk
about it because in elementary school I played tether ball. I
loved it. It was a game that we played. It was a pole on the
playground and it had a rope with a ball connected to it. And
we would just hit that ball around. But the point is, is
that the ball was always tethered to the pole until
somebody would remove it. I also gave the example of a hot air
balloon. If you can imagine a hot air balloon when they're
setting it up, and they're getting it ready to basically,
you know, lift it off before that it's like tethered multiple
ropes, you know, tether that basket to the ground, if you
will, that hot air balloon to the ground, so that when they
start to fill it, it doesn't just start to take off. Well,
here's the reality. Unforgiveness in our hearts,
unforgiveness, okay, not forgiveness, unforgiveness
tethers us to what? Does anyone know? People that have hurt us,
the trauma that we've been through it actually, if we don't
forgive it tethers us right to them into those situations. I
know a lot of people don't like to think about it that way. But
that is the truth. And so what we want to do as we begin to
forgive, we start to become untethered to them, them to us,
the freedom comes, we might not always feel that massive
breakthrough right in the moment that we choose to forgive because
y'all forgiveness isn't always feeling you're not there.
Sometimes you're going to downright not feel like
forgiving, but it's a choice. It's it's something that God
actually asked us to obey him in. Okay, and we're going to
talk about those scriptures here in just a few minutes. Crystal,
I'm curious, do you have your sunglasses? Yeah, girl. She
helped me out this afternoon, this afternoon. So okay, imagine
your crystal, and you've just put on your really snazzy
sunglasses there. Okay, sunglasses, what do they do? A
lot of the sunglasses, especially now they come out
with the special coloring where it's really protecting you from
the rays of the sun. And it causes you to see the world
around you with some different colors. And, you know, you're
looking at everything through the lenses that are on your
face now. Okay, imagine or think about even when you put your own
sunglasses on, I want you to think about brokenness from the
past and filters that you have because of them. And how is it
causing you to see the world around you? How is the
unforgiveness and your heart and soul causing you to see the
people in the world around you right now? Some of y'all need to
forgive your kids. I just heard the Holy Spirit say that so, so
loud in my spirit. Some of y'all your kids have done things that
have hurt you. And it's time to forgive. Okay, I'm going to keep
going. But I felt that heard that so I got to speak it out.
Um, okay, I thought someone was saying a man was on with us
right now. And I was like, Wait, what? They're telling me a
story. Okay. Sorry, I got got distracted there for a second.
Alright, so I want to read a little bit to you. Um, as we're
talking about this brokenness and these filters, I want you
all to hear just a little bit about the blind spots and
filters from the book. Again, this is the heartwork book.
Y'all have the ebook. If you don't know where that's at, it's
in the welcome section. And yeah, you download it from
there. All right, blind spots when you walk into any
situation, it doesn't matter what it is bad or good. Okay,
so this is not just about bad situations. This is also good
situations where those sunglasses that Crystal gave us
that awesome example. She you don't have to put them back on.
It's okay. Thank you. Yeah, there you go. She looks great.
Doesn't she? Um, it also causes us to see good situations. So
differently too. Y'all, some of you are having good people come
in your life, but because of the blind spots and the brokenness
in your own life, you are having a hard time receiving them. Okay,
so you don't have to feel guilt, shame or condemnation because of
that. But it's just important to recognize it. All right, I'm
going to keep going. You don't see that thing that plays those
people the way they are, you see them the way that you are on the
inside. She says, let me say that again. So you can get ahold
of it. We don't see things the way they truly are. We see them
the way that we are. So how are we doing on the inside ladies?
For instance, say you were severely hurt by a group of
people. They mistreated you lied about you and then discarded
you. The heart wounds and lies that were created as a result of
that trauma will give you a skewed perception of groups in
the future. You might avoid groups or communities of people
like the plague convincing yourself that they are all bad.
Or you might try again to search for community. But if you do
decide to join a similar group in the future, your most
significant obstacle to be longing will be the filter that
was created by your prior experience.
Thought it's interesting, I didn't even see this person's
post. This app before I did the session this afternoon, I saw it
after and they they were talking about. And if I'm
talking about you, I don't remember who wrote it. So I
apologize. But they were saying that God was really ministering
to them about like their need, like the want to be in community
and belong. And, and how he was ministering to them regarding
that you all sometimes we can be right in the middle of community
and feel like we don't belong. The enemy will will literally
come to you if that is your wound, if that's your core wound
and belief system. He's going to tell you all through this whole
program that you don't fit here that you don't belong that the
people don't like you and all the kind of stuff that kind of
goes with those types of lies. So I want to encourage you to
really ask the Lord if that is the kind of stuff you hear.
Where is the root of that? When did that start for you the first
when was the first time someone did something or you got wounded
in some way? And you believe the lie that you don't belong? And
that you're an outsider? Okay. All right, I'm going to keep
going. So we interact with people differently situations
differently, it impacts our ability to truly connect. And if
you remember, I was saying a little bit ago, I want to really
lean into y'all, I want you to think about like arms wide open.
Like if you were to literally encounter someone, and you're
just like, I'm just I'm gonna let all the walls down. And I'm
just gonna go into this heart wide open. That's what I'm
conveying to you right now. Some of you if that was like if that
was you, and that's what you'd be freaking out right now. But I
want you to kind of consider Jesus on the cross. He held
nothing back. And so if we're scared to love, if we're scared
to receive love, I want to encourage you that Jesus can
show you how because in the moment of his greatest surrender,
he also had his moments of his greatest receiving, did he not?
When he died, he was being received by the Father. And he
chose it. He chose it so that you and I could be in
relationship with him just like he is in relationship with the
Father. So that gives us the way the path to follow to be in
relationship with other people. Matthew 2239 says love your
neighbor as you love yourself. So we were talking a little bit
ago about the importance of valuing ourself knowing our
self worth, ladies, this is this is super important to our
ability to love other people. Do you find yourself any of you
I just be curious if there's anyone in here where and you
might not want to admit it and that's okay. So don't feel like
you have to put your hands up. But maybe you struggle with
thinking negative things about other women a lot like you
criticize women in your thoughts. Maybe you don't do it
overtly with your words, but you criticize women a lot. And if
that's you, I want to say again, there's no shame or guilt
condemnation, but recognize it and ask the Lord where that's
coming from. Because typically, that's actually because you
don't like yourself. Okay, in some way, shape or form.
Forgiveness is not a feeling but a
choice. Ephesians 4.23 says this, forgive one another just as God forgave you because of what
Christ has done for you. Colossians 3.13 says, remember the Lord forgave you so you must forgive,
you must also forgive others. We want to forgive all the characters in the story,
ladies, including ourselves. Some of you all need to forgive God.
And I get this question a lot, wait a minute, what? Forgive God? Like, is that a real thing?
Yes, it is. Does God, did he do anything to us in such a way that we need to forgive him? No,
he didn't do anything to us, but it's our heart posture and the lies that we believed because of
pain we went through that some of us are holding unforgiveness in our hearts towards God. We're
offended at him. And so we have to be willing to look at that stuff. Where do we not trust him?
Because that's probably going to signal to you somewhere where you just don't believe he is who
he says he is. And you may or may not even like believe he is good because you don't like him
in some way, which I know that might blow people's mind. Like, wait a minute, I love God.
Yeah, I know. But some of you all really don't like him as well. You want to, but your pain
of your past has led you to a place where you're just not really sure. And again, ladies, this is
where we really like the rubber meets the road, if you will, where we're really getting into the
like, okay, what do I really think? What do I really feel? Do I trust that God is good?
Do I have any offense towards God? And we really let God come into the deep places. Again, we're
taking down do not enter signs, ladies, in this course, and we're saying come right on in. Holy
Spirit come, Jesus come. Okay. All right. Forgiveness happens in layers, just like healing.
So for some of you, while you're in this course, you may have done work with people before in
certain scenarios and situations. You may have done counseling regarding certain family members
before, and you might have kind of like, I've already done all that mindset, and that's okay.
But I want to encourage you to just take a peek under the hood. If the Holy Spirit brings that
person in that situation up, again, there's probably a reason. Okay. It doesn't mean you
have to walk all the way back through all that stuff again, because sometimes that stuff's
painful. But just ask the Holy Spirit, ask the Lord, you know, Lord, I've worked on this before,
but you're bringing this person or this situation up again. Is there something else you're trying to
show me about it? Here's why, ladies. Years ago, I worked a ton, like I said, on the stuff that
I went through regarding the sexual abuse. And many, many years later, there was this nagging
memory that I had that kept bugging me. And it was different than the others, but it was
still connected to all of that similar stuff. And through additional healing work I did,
God opened that memory for me. And that brought a whole nother layer of healing to that situation.
Okay. So sometimes that's going to happen, but it didn't happen until I started seeking the Lord
about that other piece. Does that make sense, everyone? Okay. Awesome. All right. So I'm going
to put you in your breakout rooms. You're going to talk about who do you need to forgive tonight
and why? Who do you need to forgive tonight and why? Okay. I'm going to recreate these.
Awesome. Ebony and any other leaders, stay with me. Go ahead and click to join those ladies. You
have eight minutes. Keep it short, brief, and powerful. Okay.
Yeah. Okay. So Christina, stay with me. Ebony, stay with me.
Oh, sure.
All right. Lord, we just thank you right now for revealings for healing that are happening.
Lord, we thank you, God, that you're bringing forgiveness and, Lord, that we would have
repentant hearts in the sense of that we wouldn't stay in postures of offense, bitterness, resentment,
unforgiveness. God, I thank you.
that in Jesus name I bind and I break the spirits of unforgiveness, the spirits of bitterness,
the spirits of resentment off of every one of these ladies, off of this community. We thank you
Jesus that you came to abolish sin and death and I thank you that by your power Jesus and
and through your blood I am able to stand in your authority and also lose the spirit of love and of
power and of a sound mind, a spirit of forgiveness, a spirit of healing, a spirit of reconciliation.
And we just thank you God for the work that you're doing in us, in our families,
the ripple effects that are caused for eternity tonight as we choose to forgive.
God I thank you for the people that are being brought up in our hearts Lord, the offenses that
have come, the hardships that we have endured. God I thank you that we can place every one of
these things at your feet and trust that you will work in them God, that you're doing a new
thing in our hearts, in our lives, that we don't have to be a slave to the past, that we don't have
to be ensnared by the weights and the things that bog us down, but Lord God we can be set free
and experience just the yeah the glory and the joy and the internal peace God, that we don't have
to strive for peace, that we can receive the fullness of who you are God as peace in the
midst of every situation we go through. God we thank you that you would yes Lord refine us as
if with refiners fire and you Lord would just remove the chaff anything that keeps us separated
from you in any way we thank you Lord that you would just come right now and yeah Lord.
Lord that you would just take I just keep seeing like a not it's not like a cleaning cloth but it
looks like a white medical cloth and that God is just coming and he's cleaning up like as if the
wounds were open and bloody and he's just cleaning up all the mess of the pain of the past that we've
been through and Lord I just thank you for this I thank you God that you in a sense are in the
supernatural um ICU room the ER rooms God that you're you're restoring um yes Lord stories from
the foundations of the world you're redeeming family timelines right now Lord we thank you that
in the supernatural realm Jesus you're you're interceding on our behalf I thank you God that
even through tears and pain that these ladies will choose to forgive that they will trust that you're
a good father who's working on their behalf yes Lord and even if we don't see the result of it in
this world on this earth God we thank you that we can choose forgiveness that you've given us
forgiveness and we can choose it too Lord I thank you that I do believe that we will see the goodness
of God in the land of the living but even like Abraham and Sarah they waited Lord they they
tarried and they waited and sometimes we we tarry and we wait for the promises to be fulfilled so
Lord I thank you that you'll help us to not become weary and while doing for in due season we'll reap
if we don't faint yes Lord I have the book turned right to this scripture Isaiah 66 9 and it says
this I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born so Lord I thank you
for the new things that are being born tonight yes Lord that even the pain of releasing these
wounds that some of these ladies have Lord I thank you that as they release these into your care
God that you're going to come and you're going to birth something new in them that there's purpose
in their pain and I thank you that you're going to use it all for your glory as they surrender
it to you God it wasn't your plan for them to suffer it wasn't your plan for them to go through
the hardships that they endured God that that was an onslaught of the enemy to assault them
to hinder them to derail them from your plans and your purpose but God I thank you that you sent Jesus
to be the one to bring truth in life and to bring a way for us to live abundantly that he conquered
sin and death as I said earlier and he gave us a way to victory that he is the victory so we fight
from a place of victory we live from a place of victory we don't live for it we live from it so
Lord I thank you that you'll help us to step into that truth tonight yes Lord help us to see all the
ways that Jesus died and gave us the victory help us to recognize the thoughts in the areas where
we're still living below your calling and your plan yes Lord I just saw in the in the spirit like a
an image of like a little girl in a bush like just afraid to come out and I just heard the Holy
Spirit just say to her it's okay it's safe now to come out so I just want to pray into that we're
you that you are safe. Yes, Lord, that you're helping your
daughters to come out a little bit further out of hiding
tonight. I thank you that we don't have to be afraid. We
don't have to cower in the bush and hide and be afraid to live
in this world. Thank you, God. Yes, Lord, that you're a good
father. I pray that you would help your daughters just to feel
your presence and your loving and tender care just that you
would wrap your arms around them in a safe way tonight and
help them to experience your. Yeah, just the freedom that
comes from recognizing that they are safe in you. We come against
in Jesus name and by the power of your blood, Jesus, every
spirit of fear and timidity. And we tell you to go in Jesus name
that you can't reside here any longer. And we thank you, Holy
Spirit, that you would just come and fill those places afresh,
fill them up, Holy Spirit, to overflowing, help them to
experience you, Holy Spirit, in a new and fresh way. We thank
you, God, that you would bring truth and life. And yes, Lord,
that you would prepare a table for them in the presence of
their enemies. Yes, ladies, that's what happens when we turn
things over to the father. We don't have to seek revenge. God
just brings he brings so much good in our lives. And he
prepares a table for us in the presence of our enemies, not
just the people that we encounter in the world, but our
the supernatural enemies that we are literally having to fight
against. And we are gaining victory over these things. God
has given us the victory and every day we can step more into
that freedom and that victory. I thank you Lord that you're
helping us take land y'all that's been in my spirit a lot
for 2025. And it's already started in 2024 that he's
leading us to places where we're going to take land for
him, not only in our own life, but in our family's lives, in
our kids lives and generations to come in our communities, that
we can be those lights in a dark world that that Jesus is the
light but he sent us to also be that that that city on a hill
that lamp that's on a lampstand that shouldn't be hidden. So
we just thank you that you'll continue to heal us and shine
through us and that we can trust you in the process. Luke
817 through 19 says this and I y'all these did not plan this
because this revelation lamp now shines within you nothing will
be hidden from you it will all be revealed every secret of the
kingdom will be unveiled and out in the open made known by the
revelation light. So pay careful attention to your hearts. As you
hear my teaching for to those who have open hearts, even more
revelation will be given to them until it overflows. And for
those who do not listen with open hearts, what little light
they imagine to have will be taken away. So Lord, we thank
you for the light. We thank you for open hearts that would
receive your truth, that we would be able to receive more
and more of your revelation until it's overflowing in us
for that we would not settle for less than your best that God
every day that we would rise up and have a new hunger and
thirst for your righteousness, for your word for relationship
with you. Yes, Lord, that even in revelation, I forget where
the scriptures at, but that we would return to our first love
ladies, that we would return to our first love. What does that
mean? Well, what was it like when you first gave your life to
Jesus? How did that feel? And if you haven't given your life to
Jesus yet, I hope you will. And if you haven't, I hope you'll
talk to me about that. Okay. God is so good. You all a lot of
freedom happening tonight. Some things again, Holy Spirit's
bringing up a lot, even while y'all are in the breakout
sessions. I hope it was really good while you were in there.
Who is willing to share with everyone what you shared? Here,
let me do this first. I almost forgot. I wanted to do this
tonight because I didn't do it this afternoon. I think it'd be
really good because I want to activate everybody because some
of you all are you don't you're not sure yet if you want to
share out loud and that's okay. So this is how we're going to
get everybody involved. I want you to put in the chat for me if
you're willing. Who are you forgiving tonight? And why? You
don't have to write a big paragraph, but first name, you
don't have to say their last name, first name, and why? Who
are you forgiving tonight? Let's start to see those in the chat
ladies. Let's just start to activate this. You're going to
step right into it. Okay. Carly's forgiving her dad,
anyone else? Anna's forgiving ex-boyfriend for manipulation.
And Epi, Crystal, because she needs to let go of her mistakes.
Okay, thank you, Crystal, for giving moms, forgiving
yourselves. Yes, sister for betrayal. Y'all keep them
coming. Okay, as as you're doing that, I'm going to start to chat
with Shelly. Shelly would love to hear what you have to say.
Oh, okay. Can you hear me? Okay. Yep. Okay. Yes. I did post it to this in the group, but
I just didn't go back yet to see if there was a response. So I'm sorry if it's repetitive.
I, um, I was just saying in the group, like sometimes I get worried. I'm like, Oh my gosh,
am I actually able ever to forgive my parents? Like, I think I just, you know, my parents
were very supportive growing up in one end. And then on another end, there was just a
lot of rejection. And so, um, it's just something I feel like I've tried to forgive and tried
to forgive and tried to forgive. And it's like, I never seem to be able to do it. But
I was saying in the group, I wonder if part of the problem is maybe I do forgive, but
then that's familiar feeling comes back up or a familiar experience comes back up. And
instead of saying, no, I already forgave them. I agree with that familiar feeling or whatever.
And then the next thing, you know, I'm just right back into it again. You know, yes, this
is so good, Shelly. This is a very valid point, ladies. So what do we do if there's someone
that's hurt us and we are still in relationship with us and they continue to hurt us, we gotta
keep forgiving. Don't we? Yeah. And sometimes it can feel like, Oh my gosh, I'm not making
any progress where you are making progress, but what's happening is they maybe aren't
changing. Okay. So for example, I feel, I feel bad. I feel bad. My mom's not on the
earth anymore, but she's a lot of my examples, partially because my dad just, it hasn't been
in my life really much at all. Um, but my mom, even just weeks before she passed away,
like was saying and doing things that were super hurtful and very public on social media,
uh, very mismanagement of social media, if I might say. And so that was difficult,
Shelly. So I can relate to you in the sense that what you're saying is, you know, that familiar
thing happens, that familiar experience, and then we're taken right back in, not only to that
current thing, but a lot of times it can lead us back to core pain. And so we do have to remember
that hurt people, hurt people. Okay. And that doesn't excuse it. It doesn't minimize it ladies,
but we have to acknowledge that if we go into a situation and a dynamic expecting someone to be
healthy when they're not, when they're not healthy, we're expecting something of them that
they're not going to be able to give us. Yeah. Now, should we stop praying for them and believing
for change? No, of course we should keep praying, but I don't know if you all remember, again,
I don't remember when I talk about certain things sometimes, but we got to like, consider what hat
are we going into this dynamic with? Are we going in with the hat where we like God are in my heart's
wide open to anything they say to me, or even though I'm daughter, am I going to go in with
my hat of, you know what, I'm going to go in with the ministry mindset tonight
and understand that my mom is saying things to me through brokenness.
And I'm using your mom. It could be your dad too. Now, am I saying, I always was able to do that
perfectly? No. Some days it was like, you know, the enemy would always send things like that.
At the times I was the most tired. Yeah. Right. So our defenses are down more. Aren't they ladies
when we're tired or hungry y'all in those, I forget what those couple things are. The tired,
the hungry, whatever y'all probably know what I'm talking about, but like the enemy will come in
those moments. And so Shelly want to encourage you. If that happens again, reach out to someone
like you can even come in the community and say, okay, this happened, you know, can, can you remind
me what's the truth? Okay. Okay. Because see, we, we are getting to know you as well. And we can
speak truth into you about who you are, no matter what other people are saying to you and ladies,
that's the value of, of doing life with people. Now people can only speak into your life as much
as you like, let them into your life. Okay. So there's that reality too, especially online
ministry. We don't see you in the day to day. You know, we see you in the group as much as you share,
but that's, as far as that goes, unless we start to have in life in person interaction, but yeah,
Shelly, that was a great example. And so you just do your best to forgive the most recent situation.
If God reveals other things to you along the way. Okay, great. Then process that. But it's probably
because this is a re these are recurring things, but one thing I wanted to ask you in particular,
was on the rejection stuff. What is, what does that typically sound like?
for you? Like, when you feel like they reject you, what does that sound like?
I mean, right now, I guess it sounds like, I think first and foremost, it's like they,
my, my parents just kind of in general, they are, I guess, peace at all costs kind of people.
So they don't, you know, when you're taught, if you bring up something, or you're talking about
something that's not pleasant, it's like they're, you know, even if it's worry, I mean, it doesn't
have to be like a mean thing, you know, it's like, this don't, they want to quickly change
the subject, they don't really want to talk about it, they kind of want to blow it off.
And somehow, I end up feeling like I did something wrong, like, oh, my gosh, I upset them, or,
oh, I wasn't like, the happy fun one in that moment. And so then it's like, I'll feel bad
about myself. Okay. So the reason I asked you that is because, as you were sharing,
you said they when you bring things up, even if it's something like worry, or, you know, basically,
what I'm hearing you say, let me say this as well, Shelly, is I hear you saying you have real life
emotions. Right? And sometimes you don't feel like you can actually share those real emotions
with your parents. And so I wrote down internalize emotions. So basically, you have to store those
and stuff those. And so I would encourage you just to ask the Lord to show you if there's any
areas where you have also at times rejected your own feelings or felt like you kind of expressed
their felt like bad or guilt because you actually had feelings and emotions.
Right? My mom even growing up, like she used to say, you know, like you're a teenager. And I was
in that popular group of girls where there's always an excessive amount of drama. I mean,
for heaven's sakes, just an excessive amount. I was on the dance team was just not. So it's like
you would I would come home and talk to my mom about those things. And like looking back, you
know, there was a lot of fun things that happened at school that day, too. But it was like, I think
that the drama with the girls, you know, it's like overwhelming to deal with. So that was the thing
I would come home and talk to my mom about, because, you know, you weren't sure what to do
with it, or you were worried, or it was unpleasant. And oh, my gosh, someone helped me feeling,
you know, and my mom would say to me, sometimes, don't you ever have anything good to say to me,
I want to hear good things. And that was like a common comment, you know, so I think sometimes I,
like I took it as like, I need to be responsible for my, like my parents emotions, you know,
and they and they are, they don't, they're not, they much prefer not to be emotional,
you know, just in general. And I think some of that not to excuse them, but just being a parent.
Sometimes, the flip side of that is that if we and I'm not saying you do Shelly, but if we think
because Jackie's even shared this about her daughter, Reagan before Reagan really struggled
with negativity when she was younger. And so Jackie would try to get her to think about the
positive things that happen, and and whatnot. But I do think there's a level of when I heard you
talking, I wrote down the word pain. You know, when we go through excessive drama with a girl
group, there can actually be pain underlying. And even though we're talking about all the drama,
really what we're trying to, we're trying to tell them that we're hurt in some way, or, you know,
we're feeling frustrated or angry, but like we're using all these words that sometimes people that
don't know how to handle emotion, or they don't want to live in that space.
They redirect it because they don't know what to do with it. Does that make sense?
Yeah, definitely. Okay. So as you move forward, I do want to encourage you just to really ask the
Lord if there's any self rejection, and if there's any pain from those situations that's still
residing there that needs healed. Like, like you mean pain from girl drama?
Yeah, pain from girl drama, because I do think that there could be some level of that still
underneath the surface, which could cause you to feel stuck regarding forgiving your mom or your
dad. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Thank you, Bethany. You're welcome. Anyone else who else is willing to share
tonight? Who are you forgiving? You want to say it out loud and share? I'm willing to share.
Awesome. Go ahead. I have, I tend to forgive other people pretty easily. I still have a couple
of people just kind of for not huge things, but I have a hard time and I don't really blame God
because I feel like everything that I've created the last
really 15 years is my mess.
I'm the one that made the choices.
And so, and I have asked God for forgiveness
and I feel like he's forgiven me,
but I'm still, I kind of go back.
I still hold myself responsible.
Like, oh, you've created a mess.
And the little voices I hear in my head,
not as much anymore,
but still I have some bad days where I'm telling myself
because of everything you've done, you should be alone.
You need to be alone.
You need to be by yourself.
God doesn't want you to have anyone
because he gave you a chance and you messed everything up.
So I have a really hard time,
forgiving what I've done.
And I'm turning 51 soon.
And it's kind of like, I've kind of,
that's what brought me to this group.
I was going to a counselor and I've kind of,
I'm kind of having a midlife crisis.
Like, oh, but at this point in my life, I'm alone.
And God wants me to be alone.
So, and I don't really,
and on the other side of that,
I don't really blame him because I feel like
he wants me to be alone because of everything I've done.
He didn't do it to me.
Everything bad that's happened,
he gave me a great life growing up,
but I kind of screwed it up once I hit 25
and all the bad choices I made with men, so.
Thank you so much for sharing.
I was just trying to think where God wants me to take this.
So Susan, I have a couple of things.
As you started sharing,
there was a lot of kind of lies
that started surfacing there,
the things that I know that you've been processing
while you've been here in HeartWork,
but I want to encourage you to potentially write those down.
And so for example, one of the things you said was
God gave you a good life and you screwed it up, okay?
But I want you to write it down and ask God
for what the truth is from his perspective.
So what does he want to tell you about it?
What does he want to tell you about the gift of the last,
let's just say, 25 years?
And here's the reality, ladies,
is that God can make something new
and make it like redeem time.
I'm not saying it's going to be like,
we didn't live those 25 years
like that you're talking about, Susan,
but I can tell you, like, even myself,
I felt like, man, I wasted six years
and God told me not to keep going with that guy and I did.
And, you know, like,
that's what the enemy wanted me to get stuck there.
Just like not letting myself be free
and feeling like I ruined everything
and I wasted six years.
And that was six years I could have been having,
like working on having a baby.
And, you know, all these things
that the enemy wanted me to go down that path.
But I had to choose like, you know what?
No, not today, devil, not today.
I'm not going to let that happen.
I'm not going on that journey with you today
or tomorrow or the next day.
But you know why, you know how it changed
is I started writing the lies out
and then I would cross the lies out
and I put the truth on the paper
and I would hang that stuff up
and I would look at it and I would read it
and I would declare the truth over myself
because God is not a man that he should lie.
And if he says he can make all things new,
then he can make all things new.
And if I'm his daughter and he says he forgives me
and he removes my sins as far as the East is from the West,
then he can do that right now for that last six years
that I felt like I wasted that time.
But you know what?
It wasn't wasted, one second of it.
You know, I learned, I said this this afternoon,
I learned so much from that time.
And it's a lot of my content that I coach from.
I mean, I coach from my marriage too,
but like, so there was so much heartache in that time.
Would I wish that on myself again?
No, absolutely not.
I wouldn't, but I wouldn't have my girls.
I wouldn't have the understanding that I have.
I wouldn't, you know, there's so many things
that I learned about even psychological things
that people experience and go through
that I just didn't have that level of revelation.
I don't think God did that to me.
Y'all, he was trying to lead me out of that all the time.
Yeah.
But here's the thing, even though I chose that,
he knows in his grace and love for me,
he knows why I chose that.
It was because I was broken.
So why would he hold that over me and like chain me to it?
Yeah, I can completely relate to all that.
Yeah, so here's my next thing for you.
What I saw in the spirit is if, and again,
ladies, when I give you these things,
you don't have to be an artist, okay?
It can be a stick figure, okay, literally.
But I wanna encourage you to like,
if it's a stick figure or however you wanna draw it,
but you want a piece of paper with chains on you.
And what I saw in the spirit was like God coming
and putting his heart on every one of those chains
and the chains just breaking off.
of you, but you have to see that and receive that in your spirit because you're not chained
to that stuff anymore.
If you believe you're free, but his love is what penetrates and brings the truth to those
places in our lives, ladies.
Thank you.
Yeah, that, that does help.
I make progress.
Yeah.
And you are, I make progress, but then sometimes I'll backtrack, I'll have bad days and, and
I'll backtrack.
Um, so, and I know that's the enemy of kind of, you know, I'm trying, I'm doing a lot
of stuff with my life right now and the, and I think the, I feel like I'm under attack
some days.
Um, cause I'll have a great day and then there'll just be one day that's really, really hard
and I'll start to hear the lies again.
So I like the idea of, of putting the lie, I have, I have some stuff on, I put some things
on my mirror, some, you know, positive things on my mirror and a verse as well.
I basically put on my mirror, um, you know, God, God has an amazing soulmate, you know,
waiting for you.
And then, um, or I think it says that God is actually preparing me for my soulmate and
then God is preparing my soulmate for me.
And then I have a verse, the one that says basically with God, all things are possible.
And so that helps to read it, but I like, I like the idea of basically the lie, crossing
it out and putting the truth.
Um, because yeah, I think that, I think it, it is all about the enemy because I'm doing,
you know, amazing things with my life right now and, you know, look, you know, my calling
and stuff.
I've, I'm starting to pursue that and I've never done that before.
So out of all of the bad that's that happened, I think it, you know, God, same thing.
God was trying to get me out of the abusive relationship for eight years and I just kept
staying.
But I think out of, you know, God can create amazing things out of bad things that, that
happened to you.
So I think that he's trying to create something good now and the enemy doesn't like that.
So yes.
Yes.
So good.
And ladies who, who can relate, anyone relate to what she said, how you'll start doing good
and then something will happen and you feel like maybe you took a few steps back.
Anyone else struggle with your thoughts?
Anybody else?
Yeah.
A lot of people.
I see people raising hands.
So here's the thing.
I wrote down the word inroads.
Okay.
I want you all to think about sometimes the reason that we struggle when pressure is applied
is because there's still areas there that there's inroads.
The enemy can kind of go take us down because we still have some more healing.
So want you all when that happens, even though we know some of it is just literally the enemy
attacking us.
Okay.
But if we start journeying down that road with him, typically it's because we're believing
a lie still, and we need healing there.
And so just be willing to ask him, you know, if there's a lie, you're still believing that's
causing you to get, you know, to go back into that thought process with him or journey down
that road with him, if you will.
And that doesn't mean you've gone completely back, but it just, I even do it.
Some days I even do it.
You all just that, that you start journeying down the road, like, and then it's like, wait
a minute, this isn't the road I'm supposed to be on.
And y'all, then we can just get in our car, if you will, spiritual car and drive to the
other road.
And I'm not trying to simplify it, but that is literally what we can do.
Okay.
So I'm going to start to close tonight.
Here are your activations for this week.
And there are two.
We were talking earlier about vows that you all have made, whether you know what they
are yet or not that, you know, happen subconsciously that impact us, but I want to talk about never
will I ever list.
And I'm going to do this real quick.
Some of you all will, when I ask you to make this list, you're going to make a never will
I ever list, and you're going to share it in the group.
Okay.
You're going to create a post and you're going to say, this is what my current never will
I ever list is.
So never will I ever date someone that does this looks like this, you know, whatever,
that's what your list is going to be.
And these are going to be made up of your preferences or never will I evers that have
formed out of trauma or pain or hurt that you've been through.
You do not have to, and it's okay if you do, cause we'll just redirect you, but you
do not have to say things like never will I ever date someone abusive.
We hope you will not do that.
Okay.
So that is a given.
Okay.
So don't feel like you have to say those kinds of things.
What we are looking for when you put these, there's going to be some that basically will
reveal to us some areas you might need some more healing.
Okay.
Cause some of our never will I ever, as I said, come out of pain.
So never will I ever date Larry or John, you know, I gave that example earlier.
Never will I ever date someone who's in ministry.
Never will I ever, I know this might sound like silly, but we had someone this last week
in the community, they were like, I came across this guy and I don't know that this person
is her spirit mate, but she wasn't sure she wanted to continue dating him.
There was a couple of reasons, but one of the reasons is he has two big dogs and I think
his house is dirty, but she's never been in his house.
So here's the deal.
You all, I lovingly asked her some questions, kind of nudged on that.
And lo and behold, when she was younger, her uncle, they used to go visit him all the time.
I think she said he had a farm, but his house was really dirty and he had a bunch of dogs.
So sometimes there's things that we, we have these thoughts, Aubrey, they can be however
many you need to write down.
Okay.
If your list is long, go ahead and write the long list.
Cause we're going to help you unpack that list.
Here's the other thing that we're going to teach you how to do.
So go ahead and put them on your list if you have them, but we're going to start to help
you identify God non-negotiables.
So what these mean is if you are someone that still wants to have a baby, that's a God non-negotiable.
Okay.
If you are someone that, you know, you like for me, I have a calling on my life for ministry.
I knew I had to find someone that also had a calling on their life for ministry because
of the way that God and I are running the race.
Now, ladies, I'm not saying this means I have to say and decide what my husband's relationship
with the Lord looks like, sounds like, how he prays, when he prays, how much does he
read his Bible?
That's not what I'm saying.
Okay.
I want to make sure that's real clear.
Y'all will learn more about this in the days ahead, but I'm just talking about, I knew
that I needed to be able to look over and see my spirit mate run.
And here's why.
I had been in multiple relationships before where that was not the case.
And I've, I always felt like I was trying to pull people along.
That was not God's plan for me.
And I knew that this last time around more than ever.
Okay.
All right.
So never will I ever list.
Here's your other one.
This one's a quicker explanation.
We're going to do a clean out and purge.
You all were, we're nearing the end of the year.
And some of you all are going to be finishing up your heartwork and this week, next week,
the next week after that, but in December, a lot of you all are going to finish up your
heartwork and I want you to start your new year with less weight in the spirit.
So you're going to ask the Lord to show you, what do you need to get rid of?
What do you need to purge?
Some of y'all need to declutter in your houses.
Some of you need to go through your phones and get rid of old boyfriend, text messages,
photos.
Some of you all.
And I always say this because if some of you all are in court cases, totally different
advice for you.
You need to listen to lawyers and all of that stuff.
But some of you all like myself, I did not have a court case, but I kept evidence on
my ex quite frequently because he cheated so many times and I was searching and trying
to protect myself.
And so I had all these screenshots of all these women that were halfway dressed.
And I would go through my phone sometimes not looking for that stuff, forgot that it
was there and like, Oh man, take me right back to that moment.
Okay.
I needed to get rid of that stuff.
Some of you all will need to get rid of, you know, shirts or things that people gave you
that every time you wear it or see it, even if it's in your drawer and in the seasons
change, you see that thing and you feel something.
Okay.
I can't tell you what to get rid of, but that's something that you will need to pray about
and ask the Lord.
It can be all kinds of things.
So just stay open to whatever the Lord shows you, even if you don't understand it, obey,
obey and get rid of it.
Okay.
All right.
We're at nine 39.
So I'm going to close this out.
You all, I want to hear more about the forgiveness and stuff in the group this week.
You know, who's God leading you to forgive as you're processing.
If you guys have questions about the content that you're going through, please ask, just
ask questions.
We'll help you.
We'll get in there and answer them as quick as we can.
And we're going to have a good time.
So I'm going to go ahead and pray for us, father.
Thank you so much.
Oh, crystal.
Yes.
One more thing.
Crystal made a sheet to help you all.
Well, she did it for herself, but she's offering it to you all where you can write down the
revealing for healing.
So if you all.
need or want that you can post in the group that you would love to have that
and we'll try to get you connected with crystal to do that okay all right father thank you so
much for just everything you've already done tonight god thank you for lord just that reminder
of the forgiveness that jesus died on the cross to give us help us to give forgiveness away we
thank you for the reminder that forgiveness is not a feeling it's a choice help us to choose
to forgive this week help us to let go of bitterness and resentments and unforgiveness
and help us to step into the healing waters the living waters that are flowing help us to step
into that place with you jesus to be washed and renewed by the washing of the water of the word
to be renewed and transformed by the renewing of our minds that all old things would pass away and
behold everything would become new in you and i thank you lord that you remind us of your love
for us help us to have a fresh vision of who you are as our good father and what it feels like
and looks like to just be adored by you i thank you lord that you would give them upgrades
supernaturally even tonight while they sleep god i pray that you would um yeah lord we thank you
for supernatural surgeries that are going to happen tonight while ladies are sleeping that
you're just they're going to wake up and just feel different i thank you lord that you would
give them revelation insight where it's needed the most god where they're struggling where they
feel overwhelmed we just speak peace be still in jesus name amen ladies we love you we're so glad
that you're here a part of this community and we look forward to seeing you in the group have an
amazing night everyone bye bye thank you bethany bye