Okay. Well, welcome, ladies. Today is, what is today? Today is December 10th. It's just
flying by. This is your phase two live check-in here at one o'clock Eastern. I am Carla Johnson.
I'm one of your dating coaches here in phase two. It's always such a pleasure and an honor
to be here as I am a success story from Jackie's program. I joined in September, October of
2020. And so it's just such a blessing to always still come here and be a support to
you ladies as well and help you on your journey. Always brings me lots of joy. So just curious
how many, I know we don't have a lot on our one o'clock call. There's a couple of you,
but if you're new to phase two, if you can just put your little avatar hand up. Yes,
Esther. So nice to see you. Thank you for turning your camera on. Totally appreciate
it. And it was Lavina. She said she'll be right here. And then Suzanne is finishing
up work. And she will get her camera on in a few minutes. That's awesome. I love it. Good,
good, good to see you late ladies. And there'll probably be more that we'll jump on here in the
next couple of minutes, but I'm going to go ahead and get us started. So we kind of stay on track
for time. Want to be mindful of that. I know it's a busy time of year. Life is just crazy. I don't
know. I can't speak for you all, but I know for me, it's just the holidays can get a little bit
insane. So some housekeeping items to go over. I want to let you ladies know that this Thursday,
the 12th at eight o'clock Eastern, there is a special session that you all are invited to. I
want to encourage you ladies to go. It's going to be on the title is how to hear God. And it's,
it's absolutely wonderful. Bethany Hicks is a friend of Jackie and she's the one that will
be teaching on this. I've had the pleasure of sitting in on many of her sessions when she
teaches on this and it will just fill you. It will unlock things that you just don't even realize.
Like you'll, I always find like every time I go to these sessions, like I learn a new way to hear
from God, like, and who doesn't want to hear from God, right? So, strongly encourage you to
go to that. It is, the link is going to be under your events tab on our app. So make sure that
you're, you're navigating that app and checking out that, that event page so that you get all of
the things. Okay. So, you know, what's going on, where to be all that good stuff. So, but again,
I'm going to emphasize it's super, super important for you ladies to check it out. Even if you can't
make it live, catch it in the replay. All right. And then the other thing that I need to let you
ladies know that's important to this session, this special session is we do a thing called
prophesy your year. So it's something that Jackie's done since, gosh, I can remember. I mean, I think
we did it even when I was in the program, like I was on one of the OGs. And so it started in 2020,
but I think we even did it in 2021, the prophesy your year. So that's a special event.
It does come at an additional cost, but it's, it's really, really great event. I would encourage
you ladies to also sign up for that. But what's important to know is that if you are going to
participate in prophesy your year, you have to watch the, how to hear from God. Okay. So it's
like a prerequisite. So if you want to attend the prophesy your year, you have to also attend
this Thursday's special session, how to hear from God taught by Bethany Hicks. Now, again,
it doesn't mean if you can't make it to Thursday, cause maybe you got a full Christmas party to go
to or a hot date that it's okay. We'll put it in replay. So you make sure that you watch it
and replay if you want to attend the prophesy your year. Cool. Good. Thumbs up. Awesome. The next thing
that's important to let you ladies know is if you haven't seen it already, there is the last trip
single to Columbia. That is the second annual. Okay. So last year some ladies went to Columbia
and they're doing it again. Okay. So that is under the resource resource tab.
and the app.
So if you are interested in signing up for that
and want more information,
definitely check out the resource tab.
So don't miss those things if you want to be part of it.
Okay?
Just a friendly reminder,
make sure you ladies are showing up on these live calls,
which y'all are here with me right now.
But if you're in replay,
you're watching this in replay,
put it on your calendar.
Let's come live.
We got one o'clock Eastern, eight o'clock Eastern, okay?
PM for both of those.
So put it on your calendar,
make an effort to come live.
It's always, you get so much more, I think, by coming live.
Not that you can't get good stuff by listening to replay,
but I always think the live calls
always do me a better service than anything.
So remember, one training video a week,
share with us in the app,
don't be a stranger in the app.
Let us know what's going on in your life, okay?
Super, super important
so that you get the most out of this program, okay?
And then when you've finished everything in phase two,
so you've been here four to five weeks minimum,
you've watched the five videos,
you've come to lives,
then you're good to go with phase three.
That's when you would request
through admin at JackieDorman.com to say,
hey, I've completed phase two,
I'm ready to move on to phase three,
can you please put me there?
So just keep that in mind
and connect here with your sisters, all right?
So with that being said, I'm curious,
last week, for those of you that were here,
we started putting up your contact information in the chat
and I wanted to activate you ladies
into connecting with your sisters here in this community
and I'm curious, how many of you have done that?
Jill did, anybody else?
Laveena, she did as well, good.
So I'm like, if you want, I would love to hear
like, how's that going?
Like, are you ladies finding it's easy to connect?
Like, and while we do that,
why don't we go ahead and start putting
our contact information in the chat right now?
All right, so.
This is Holly.
I popped on because I'm having trouble finding the chat.
I'm on my phone.
I'm having trouble finding the chat section.
Oh, here it is.
You got it?
Okay, perfect.
So yeah, I know our app is a little more tricky,
like we can't direct message like you couldn't,
like you can on Facebook,
but that's why I want to encourage you ladies
to go ahead and put your contact information
in the chat here and start connecting,
like put your email or your cell phone,
and then maybe like where you live
so that ladies see kind of your location,
your demographic, like what's going on.
And so I found when I was in this community,
like linking arms with my sisters here
and building relationship with the women here
just poured more into my life in this experience.
And, you know, I made lifelong friends in this community.
Many of the women that I met in this community,
and even some of the guys that were in our men's community,
like they were invited to my wedding, you know,
and a lot of those people came.
And I had some that were in my wedding party.
And so you'll be surprised,
like it really is beneficial if you're able to do that.
So I do want to like leave a little bit of space here early
just to kind of let you ladies kind of share with me,
like if you reach out to somebody,
like what did you learn?
Who did you connect with?
Like how did that work?
Also, if you were here last week or watched replay,
I had you activate,
like what has God done in your path that he was faithful?
Like he answered a prayer.
And I made a post and lots of you shared
how he's been faithful to you.
And so I'm going to just leave a little bit of space
at the moment.
If any of you want to unmute and take about like 90 seconds
and share like how did those activations,
how did those connections pan out for you this week?
Can I go?
Yes, Lavinia.
Yeah, so it's a bit of a small one,
but I relocated to Jersey about a year and a half ago.
So it's the UK,
it's kind of like a channel island between UK and France.
And because I relocated from.
from the UK to Jersey, I had to open a new bank account
and all new details and so forth.
And I got a message to say that they were gonna close down
my account because they changed their criteria and whatnot.
And I didn't even pick up the phone to them.
I just prayed.
And I think I probably put something
in one of the group chats, one of the life prayers
and that was on the eighth.
So I was panicking a bit, but today I got an email.
It was an apology letter from the bank
and I hadn't even contacted them to say that,
you know, everything's fine.
And just apologies.
They said, they're only gonna shut down.
They're still shutting down people's bank accounts,
but mine's not one of them, so.
Oh, thank God.
So yeah, like see, we can just,
we can cast our cares on him.
He like, he just knows, right?
So good.
I love that.
Happy about that.
Thank you for sharing.
Suzanne, you are in the Sarasota area.
That is awesome.
That's where I was originally.
I was living there.
So that's so cool.
Like when I joined this community,
I swear I was like, there's no one in this area.
And so like, it's so awesome to hear
that that's where you're at.
Like I, my husband lives in the Dallas, Fort Worth area.
So he pulled me from the sunny state of Florida.
I told Jackie early on, I was like, I was not moving.
And she was like, are you sure?
You sure you don't wanna move?
And once I released that pin,
and it took me a couple of years,
soon as I released that, my husband came
and now I live in Dallas and it's a little chilly.
But I see that you have some winter gear today
because you are in Minnesota.
Awesome.
Ah, so good to see you.
So Sarasota, I wanna pick your brain a little bit here.
So how did you land there?
Are you like born and raised?
Yeah, hey, that's so fun that you still live there.
That's awesome.
Yes.
I'm born and raised in Minnesota, Southern Minnesota.
And about two, two and a half years ago,
I just knew God was calling me, leading me,
taking me on a wild adventure type of thing.
And it's a really long story.
I won't get into all that right now,
but I knew it had to do with Florida.
Not just because I wanted warmth,
but like God was in it too.
So I actually started living,
when I first moved there,
I lived on the other coast for just a little bit,
but my heart has always been drawn to that region.
And I know a few people like not super well,
but I was down there and I like this whole thing
has been trusting God for every step of the way,
like where I'm going, how I'm getting there,
where I'm gonna live, all of it.
And a door opened up in Sarasota
about a year and a half ago
with a couple that was going to Israel for two months.
They needed a pet and house sitter.
And it came through a connection of a lady I met
who's from Sarasota originally,
but she was up in Minnesota like six years ago
with some ministry that I was connected to.
And we just connected, right?
We became Facebook friends.
And she was the link like between me and this couple
that needed a pet house sitter for two months
while they were in Israel.
And I was like literally between,
I didn't know where I was gonna be living yet.
I just knew I was supposed to be there.
So I'm like, I'm interested.
So I lived in their house for, it was two months in Sarasota
and I really liked this area a lot.
And-
It's beautiful.
Then they had a little rental next door
that I ended up renting from them for a while,
which having mold and it turned to this huge thing
and it's been part of this like health healing journey
I've been on.
That's what got me to Sarasota.
I'm actually looking at moving
about maybe an hour South of there
by like Northport Englewood area type of thing.
Anyway.
Yeah.
Oh my goodness.
I do love, it's been a great thing,
but I'm up with family right now.
My nephew just got married.
I just-
Oh, congrats.
That's so awesome.
I love that.
And one thing I just love about your story, ladies,
Suzanne and what I wanna share with you ladies
and what I really felt God and Holy Spirit
kind of put on me when you were talking
is God using people to connect you
to somewhere where he wanted you.
And ladies, let me tell you
that same thing can happen in your love story.
You never know who God wants to bring into your life
because they're gonna be a connection to your spirit mate.
And that's why I think it's so important
for you ladies to connect to one another here
because one of your sisters here
may be that connection to your husband.
Cause that's what happened to me.
And that's what reminded me.
I'm like, man, there's just, God knows.
And Jackie's taught on this before, she has a story about this Candace woman, and I'm
not sure if it's any of our trainings in phase two, but I've heard it a handful of times.
So at some point, if you haven't heard it, you'll hear the story of Candace.
And Jackie talks about God knows who you are, He knows where you are, He knows what you
need, and He knows how to get it to you.
And so I just, I'm always just blown away by God's goodness and His intricate details
in that.
And so that's what it reminded me of.
And that's why I again, encourage you ladies to connect with some of your sisters here
because you just never know what God wants to do to you and in you and bless you.
Yeah, so yeah, I think it is phase one, Teresa, thank you, because I feel like I'm going back
and I'm watching a lot of the phase one heartwork stuff currently, and I do, I think that's
where I like rose reminded of it.
So you're probably right.
So good stuff.
All right, anybody else want to take like 90 seconds if you guys want to unmute if somebody
wants to unmute and kind of share how your week was with some of the activations connecting
or, you know, the faithfulness of God that you were reminded of.
This is Holly.
I'm planning at school and I can't figure out how to put my camera on, but I got to
connect with Jill since last time and that's been really encouraging and I think we're
going to try to go ice skating or maybe find a meetup group event to do in town.
And that's been encouraging.
And then something in the activation God has played 25 years ago, God placed a desire
in my heart to be a missionary and the TV and film industry and also for a Christ's
honorary marriage.
And now I'm 25 years later, the film part is starting to unfold and over Christmas break,
I'm filming a proof of concept for a TV series I want to pitch to either Great American Family
or Angel Studios, working with the acting coach on it.
And it's evolved.
At first I thought it was just something about my funny dating stories, but now it's evolved
into something that's focused on kingdom marriage, kingdom minded families, and just the evolution
of approaching dating from a worldly way to approaching it through like what Jackie does
with the heart work in a godly way.
And then just showing all phases of from singleness to dating, engagement, marriage, family.
And I think it could be really encouraging because I don't think that's not being shown
in the TV.
Yeah, no, I think there's such, there's so much, I think, I mean, because like Jackie
came into this and she's not the only one that has stuff like that, but, you know, just
this strong belief that God wants his sons and daughters married.
Yes.
It is kingdom.
Like he is pushing this movement through.
So, you know, I, I totally think that he is just using lots of people and, and he wants
to bring kingdom marriage back, back, you know?
And so I think, I think that's amazing.
I love it.
Teresa, you have your hand up.
I know I kind of see like, I don't want to catch you while you're doing this, but I want
to give you like 90 seconds to share before we get into our session today.
Yeah.
Making lunch.
So got to multitask and all that.
So it wasn't exactly your activations.
It was more in the video.
Was it the first one that the seven dates in whatever challenge?
Yeah.
So I was thinking that, you know, like, as you know, I've been a little reluctant and
I have to push myself into this whole dating thing.
No, Teresa.
Not at all.
Well, I think it's part of being a widow though, you know, compared to absolutely going on
your own journey.
And that's totally fine.
Like that's what even took me forever to stop saying I'm technically single, you know?
So anyways, I, uh, before I went to my mission trip, I had sent out a message to three friends.
And then when I got back from my mission trip, of course, nobody had anybody, which is what
seems to happen.
But, um, but then I felt ready to put up my profile.
So I got a friend over and she helped me put up my profile and, uh, I've gone on, well,
if you count the same guy, I've gone on like 50,000 dates, probably.
Yeah.
So I had two duds, um, I jumped offline quickly.
because they, the whole chatting was just excruciating.
Yeah, they weren't my guy. So and the one guy I had kind of
said, Well, you know, I'll give you a second date, because I
thought he was kind of nervous and stuff like that. But then,
then when I was on the way home, I started crying and missing my
husband. And so I was like, I don't think that's a good sign
that that he's probably not somebody I want to hang out with.
Right? Yeah. So I just said online, basically, that I'm
didn't feel we matched. So but then I've been chatting with
someone who grew up in the same place that I did. And so it's
strange, because I set my parameters for 80 miles. And I
get this guy who lives where I used to live. Yes, I remember
this. I put it in thing today. Anyway, so we chatted and it
was super casual, because I thought, well, his his wife just
died. Yeah, to go. And, and neither of us wanted to do
distance. So it felt really safe.
could ease into it.
I felt like, okay, I can give this guy my phone number. I
didn't give anyone else. But I gave him my phone number. And
then we chatted a lot, like phoning and texting, but, you
know, talking about our other dates.
And he's having some companionship for sure. And he
said, like in the beginning, he kind of said, Well, um, you
know, I don't do distance, but I would practice flirting with
you if you want to, because you know, neither of us have flirted
for a while. And I said, Oh, yeah, I could do this. We met
last week. And yeah, we're exclusive now.
I know.
I know. Isn't that crazy?
Oh, Teresa,
I'm so I get all giggly when I talk about him. So I could see
it like, Oh, that's so good. Really well, holding it like
ladies that all the time, like this loosely hold things. And
you know, just that surrendering the pen, you know, and
I didn't expect anything from it. So that's exactly what
happened. I totally surrendered the pen. I thought, Oh, yeah,
this will be, you know, fairly low key. And
we really clicked. So a lot of times I think when we date and I
don't I mean, I'm going to speak from my own experience. And even
what I see here as a dating coach is when we put so much
pressure on the dating, it just mucks things up. But when we can
just enjoy the process and let God kind of move. Yeah, really
does make make it enjoyable. And I always tell you ladies this
like, I mean, I did this, okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna confess, I
always before this program, and even the beginning when I
started dating, being in this program, I looked at every date
like, is this my husband? Like, you know, and I focused on that,
like, Oh, I don't know, I don't know if I can marry a guy like
this, or Oh, no, I don't like this about him, or I love this
about him. And then I'd blow it up and fantasize about it. And
it just really, it, it made things very confusing. And so I
learned through this group, how to just enjoy the process and
let God, you know, take the wheel, like Jesus, take the
wheel, y'all. And when that happens, like, you know, God can
really show up. I mean, God can show up any like, whether
whatever, but I love that. I'm so thank you so much for sharing
that, Teresa. I'm
yeah, and actually, one of my friends really sees God's hand
in the whole thing. Because I wasn't supposed to, like, we
weren't supposed to match in the first place, because he put his
parameters, local, and so did I. So we shouldn't have each
other's profile. He actually recognized me, we weren't
friends in high school. But he knew of you. Yeah, like, his
sister was in my grade. So I knew who he was. And that's
about it. Right. But he recognized me, I don't live
there anymore. And yeah, so that's funny. It's funny you say
that, because that's kind of even what happened with me and
husband, I was not moving from Florida. I was like, that was
just not a thing. And one of the sisters here, she saw his
profile in a singles Christian Facebook group. And he shared
that he traveled 10% of the year for work. And his work was based
out of Clearwater, Florida. So in my mind, if his work is based
there, that's where he's living. Right?
He worked remotely living in Dallas and he would travel to Clearwater 10% of the year,
but he didn't mention living in Texas anywhere in his profile. And so when I connected with him,
I'm like, Oh, you're in Clearwater. I'm like an hour away in Sarasota. He's like, Oh, I,
you know, I actually live in Texas. And a week prior, Jackie's like,
Carla, you might need to just open the parameter. Like, I think you need to be open to moving.
And I was like, you know what? My mentor said I need to, you know, be open to long distance and
whatnot. So I said, we can give it a go. Like, so, and again, that's like you said, sometimes
just God shows up and moves. And we, again, that was a non-negotiable for me was not moving.
And y'all, I literally moved. So that was more of fear and, and also, and wanting to control
a situation. And when I allowed God to kind of step in it, it, a beautiful love story unfolded.
So I love it, Teresa. I'm so excited that you shared that. All right, ladies, let's go ahead
and get started. I'm going to, I mean, we're like 27 minutes in here, but I think it's all good
stuff. So yeah, we talked about activations that we did last week. Now I know I also gave you ladies
an activation last week, and I didn't see anyone post about buying a Christmas gift for your future
husband. So I'm going to leave that for this week. Cause I really feel this is going to unlock some
partnership of, of taking hold of believing what God wants to do in your life. And he wants to
bring you a husband. And sometimes when we, we can get in our minds and think like, oh, I want it,
but I don't know if I can have it. I don't know if it's going to happen, but when we partner with
it and we step into it and agree that that's going to happen and we do those steps, it just
activates something in the spirit. And I don't, I think I shared this with you ladies last session
that I purchased my wedding dress before I ever met my husband, because I was, you know, and that's
a big purchase ladies. I mean, if y'all have ever even gone and looked at wedding dresses, you know,
they're not cheap. And so that was a, and I was a single mom. And so it was a pretty penny, but I,
I knew I needed a partner that I was a bride and God was going to bring me a husband and I was
going to get to wear a wedding dress someday. And so I did that in 2021. And it wasn't until
over a year is when I, after that, I met my husband and I ended up wearing my wedding,
that wedding dress in like when I got married. And so, and that's why I think,
I want you ladies to start thinking and asking Holy Spirit to highlight something about your
husband, ask him to share with you something about him that will help you pick out a gift
just for him. And I know, I think it was Joanna. I don't see her on here, but she shared in the app.
She's like, I struggle at gift giving. And I was like, you know, I get that 100%. So I'm,
and I've learned how to be a better gift giver over the years. And so I'm going to kind of share
a little bit about that. And just one thing that was highlighted to me to, to share with you ladies
is the possibility of asking Holy Spirit to highlight maybe what your husband's love language
is. So, and those of you, I know Jackie's probably shared about love languages. It's
been around, I think it's Chapman is his name. I can't, why I can't think of his first name
is the author of the love languages. So there's five love languages. There's mine has transformed
over the years. So mine used to be physical touch and quality time. But when I met my husband and I
took the love language quiz during Symbus, acts of service was like moved to the top. Quality time
and touch was still up there, but not the same way that acts of service was. So it can change over
time. So just know that Gary Chapman. Yes. Thank you, Nicole. And Esther, appreciate it. So yeah,
you've got quality time, physical touch acts of service, which is, is mine. You have words
of affirmation and gifts. So, you know, gift giving. And so, and that one for me is really low.
Like it's a very small, like, like I love gifts, but it's not a way that I like need to feel loved
by somebody, but I do, I do love gifts, but I think everybody does. But over the years,
like I've learned how to, to pay attention on what people would like for gifts.
So sometimes you can tie that even to their love language.
So my husband, his love language is quality time.
And for him, date night once a week
was super, super important to him.
And so that was like a prerequisite.
Like that's what he was like, look, when we get married,
we are going on date night once a week.
And we have three kids, y'all.
Now, luckily they're older, so we can leave them at home.
We got like a, you know, alarm system, security system,
cameras and things like that.
But that was important to him.
But what's happened over this last like year
and three months that we've been married
is our date nights just tend to be going out to eat,
coming home, Netflix, right?
There's just no, there's time spent, but there's not quality.
And so God highlighted to me a really good gift for him
would be adventure.
And so there are all sorts of things,
especially now at Christmas time, all these things.
And so I found, it's called the Adventure Challenge
for couples.
And it's like, you get to scratch off
these little activities and do like a date night
with your husband.
And so I just knew that was a good gift for my husband
because he likes quality time
and it allows us time to do things together.
So if you believe that God's speaking to you
that your husband's love language is quality time,
that's an idea.
And then I also got another one where
it's, they do bucket lists for states.
And so we like to travel,
like we both have this desire and dream to travel.
And so I also got something where we can do bucket lists
around the state of Texas and travel a little bit.
So maybe travel is something that God is highlighting to you
that your husband is, it's important to him.
And so maybe you'll find something with that.
In the past, I'm just trying to think of other things
that I've done.
I just always try to listen and think like,
what would be meaningful?
Maybe God is telling you that your husband
is gonna be fashion forward.
And maybe there's like a cool tie or bow tie
or something that's special
and you wanna purchase that for him.
But invite Holy Spirit into this process,
ask him to share with you something about your husband,
about your future husband,
and just be on the lookout for what would be a good gift.
Okay?
And when you buy it,
or you're thinking about buying it or whatever,
share with us about it in the app.
So whether if you buy it,
you wanna take a picture of it and share,
or you have some ideas and you wanna share it
because that might help your sisters in the community
kind of generate some ideas as well.
Okay?
Good.
I know some of y'all were like, what?
Like, I don't, but I haven't met my husband.
I don't know anything about him.
Doesn't mean that God can't share
a little bit of information about him.
Because believe it or not, like God told me,
my husband and I were gonna go into business together.
And I thought, that's crazy.
Cause that's not me at all.
You know, I have a lot of ideas,
but I'm not the throw it together.
But one of the first conversations,
actually it was our first phone conversation.
It was the day before we met in person.
That was one of the first things that my husband said to me
when I was sharing with him something
that I was passionate about.
He said, that's a really great business model.
That's, that would make a really good business.
You should do that.
And I was like, oh no,
I'm not really business minded like that.
And he's like, well, that's okay, cause I am.
I was like, what?
Like, and I remember Holy Spirit saying, see, I told you.
I told you your husband
and you were gonna go into business together.
It was just a little reminder.
And I kind of just like pushed it aside a little bit.
But as I got to know him, that really did come up.
And I saw how God was confirming
that this man was in fact my husband.
It was who God had created for me.
And I was created for my husband.
And it was just a little bit of our story.
So God can share with you details about your husband,
believe it or not.
Just spend some time with him
and invite him in to highlight some things to you.
I really think some of you ladies
are gonna be really excited
and I can't wait to hear all about it, okay?
And so I'm gonna give that to you as an activation.
I also, because this is the second Tuesday in December,
we're gonna just touch on our Divine Feminine video.
Like this is my favorite video.
the week or of the of the trainings and
One of the reasons why is because I really like
activating you ladies to step into your divine feminine and
One ways that we do one way that we do that is that we encourage you ladies to revamp your wardrobe
Go out and buy something nice for yourself
Put on a dress wear some bright colors
And I I was thinking about this this morning and I thought to myself and I'm curious
Okay, cuz we got I got lots of like, you know, it's the holidays
there's all sorts of like dinners and stuff like that that you get invited to I
don't know about you all but sometimes when I get invited to those things I
Decline them and one of the reasons that I decline them is because I don't feel like I have anything to wear
If that happens to you raise your avatar hand. I'm just curious. Have you ever?
Not decided to go to an event because you're like, I don't have anything to wear that
I'm excited to wear and I'm not sure I you know, like know what if you want to feel good
But you don't feel good because you don't have anything that you feel like you look good in
All right. So Lavina you feel me like you're right there with me
Anybody else no, but everyone else is just like okay. So if I invited y'all to an event tonight
You would be able to go in your closet and be like, ooh, I can't wait to wear this to the event
Awesome
So Teresa's like absolutely Nicole she's like, yep, I got a hot outfit that I can't wait to wear
So everybody else I only saw two people not in their heads
Too many clothes
Girl, I will come raid your closet then because I need help
All right, so
if if any of that resonates with any of you ladies and you feel like you want it like maybe you just want an
excuse to go by maybe you asked her maybe you want an excuse to have another outfit. I
Want you ladies to go and activate your divine feminine and go out and purchase a cute outfit that you will be excited to wear
And post it in the app. Let us see your cute clothes
alright, or
I even just asked her
I want to see you put on one of your cute outfits
That you already have and show us your style because I need some help. I need help with my style y'all like I feel
Like I've been out of like, I don't know what I don't know. What's cool to wear anymore
I have a 13 year old daughter and sometimes I'm like, she's like mom
So
Buy a new outfit show us if you're like no I have too many
Jill put something cute on let us see your divine feminine and
We want to we want to see some cute cute styles. Okay
Suzanne got a new dress and some amazing shoes for a wedding last weekend and she totally would wear it again
I love that
I love wearing it like you buy an outfit for a special event and then being able to wear it again
Love that. Um, oh my goodness. You had mold in your house. Oh
I've heard like that's that's I mean we could just go off on a whole nother tangent, but I just pray that
You know
You got rid of those clothes and God is just gonna bless you with lots of cute things for your wardrobe
Yes, Black Friday sales. Awesome
Okay, we're good on activations for the week
So yeah speaking of divine feminine raise your hand if you have watched the divine feminine video
Put your little avatar hands up
Awesome awesome. I know there's a few newbies so you might not have gotten to that yet. Totally cool. Totally fine
If you've watched the divine feminine put in the chat something that really stuck out to you in that video
What what was
Highlighted to you in that video let your sisters who maybe haven't seen it yet
Let them see just give them like a sneak peek of some good of the good info. That's in that video
That's what it's one of my favorites. I
love
the divine feminine video I
Love Jackie sharing the perspective of the garden and God's original design in the garden and
what he
purposed feminine and masculine for and
also the perspective of how because of the fall and the sin it has skewed our
worldly view of what feminine and
Masculine is and sometimes that can show up in a toxic
way when we're interacting in the world or on dates even and so that was good
perspective for me to kind of see like oh when I behave or I operate in that
that's really a toxic feminine and realizing what the divine feminine
actually looks like and what God intended it for and being able to kind
of see that through that perspective and be mindful of that so so let's see
Esther to not walk ahead and how to ask for help that's good to walk beside a
man and not in front or behind him absolutely being reminded of being the
easer and that God uses that to describe himself yes like a helpmate or the easer
I love that all good stuff so yeah so the divine feminine just to kind of
touch on on this and some of you might have heard me talk a little bit about
this in the past but some of the characteristic traits of the divine
feminine is a nurturer comforter a counselor we're wise and intuitive or
receptive like we're just naturally built to receive spiritually emotionally
physically like we just receive there's a meekness about the divine feminine so
those are all characteristic traits and so we want to make sure that we're
stepping into those type of ways and so how might that look in everyday life
okay whether you're dating or not okay it's gonna be you know someone who's
pressing into Holy Spirit you know and walking in wisdom and confidence I think
the divine feminine is confident all right she trusts her Heavenly Father and
so she's God defended so she can walk in and know she's why she's got good
counsel she's partnered with her Heavenly Father and approaching
situations and relationships in that way now what can happen is when we don't and
we walk into a you know where we're not God defended and we're not confident we
start stepping into this toxic feminine where we might be judgmental or
suspicious we might start using manipulation because we feel like we
have to strive and earn for ourselves and so it really is just relaxing and
just being soft and vulnerable not being rigid and cold and so stepping into that
so when we notice us when you notice yourself responding and reacting in a
way that's rigid cold judgmental suspicious you know I want you to
practice stepping back and being reminded okay but what's what's God's
divine for you as as as female and and start practicing those types of things
okay the divine feminine is encouraging you know she's sharing positive things
she's pouring in okay but not from a people-pleasing place okay and we're not
and we're not enabling people either we're being encouragers but we're
allowing people to do for themselves okay we're not doing for them okay
because that's a caretaker okay if you're a mother or maybe you're having
to care for you know your your elderly parents that's caretaking okay that's
just a natural heart posture but as a feminine you just want to be encouraging
but you don't want to do things for people so when you're dating you don't
want to do things for like the people you're dating okay you want to step and
you want to walk alongside them and encourage them because they have the
capacity to do for themselves I will tell you men do not want a mother and if
they do it's because they're coming from a wounded place and so you don't want to
start partnering with that either you want a partner who is you know the
divine masculine some who's going to be a provider protector and so Jackie does
talk about that in the in the divine feminine as well you know we she briefly
touches on the masculine and what that looks like as well we talk about you
know when you ladies are out there looking at dating and you're interacting
with men we're looking for the three M's we're looking at a man that is
marriage-minded okay because we want to get married all right someone who's
going to show that they have the capacity to step into marriage because
that is marriages God's maturity plan for people right and so you want a
marriage-minded man you want to you want a mature man and you want a masculine
man okay a man that's going to handle his affairs and it's going to want a
partner to
walk alongside him and support him as well.
But he wants to support and protect
and provide for you as well.
Okay, so all good things.
A few things here, I'm gonna go back to the chat.
Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.
Yes, meant to be partners.
I just love the story of Genesis as actually,
that's just, again, I think it's probably why
I love the Divine Feminine video
is because we really go back to the garden
and the creation of what God's original plan was.
For those of you that might not know,
when I got married, Jackie actually officiated my wedding.
And so this was part of our wedding ceremony
and she shared a lot about it,
which she didn't know, she knew, but she didn't know.
I never told her, I want you to talk about
the story of Genesis and that
and the divine plan of husband and wife.
But she did, it was like Holy Spirit spoke to her.
But it is, it's really, again,
if you haven't watched the video yet,
you'll get to it, it's good, good, good, good.
Yes, Suzanne, to embrace and love the gentle spirit
God has given me rather than to believe I'm too sensitive.
Yes, all right, it's actually,
it's okay to be meek and soft and vulnerable.
That's not weak, it's actually strong
and it's not being too sensitive,
but it's something special about you.
And again, remembering we're created in God's image.
So those characteristics about us is God's image.
When we're healed and we've got a heart,
or like we've gone through a heart work
and we've healed through that,
it really, it's a beautiful thing.
So some practical tips on how you're gonna
put that into practice, whether you're dating or not.
Value yourself because you're a gift.
You are a gift, that's why you're created.
But also remember men are gifts too.
I know what sometimes happens, we've stepped into this,
like we step into this program
and many, many of us have been hurt by men.
I mean, I did, I was, I mean, I can go on and on and on.
And I had to learn that men were not the enemy,
that there were good men out there.
And remembering that they were a gift
and my husband was gonna be a gift to me too.
You know, and God walked me through that
in the guys that I dated.
I mean, I had to date a lot of, I mean, not like a lot,
but I dated several guys that were great guys.
They weren't my spirit mate,
but I learned to appreciate those dates
because God was highlighting to me
that men are not the enemy, there are good men out there
and your husband's gonna be a gift
just like you're a gift to your husband.
Another way of putting it into practice is,
which I've shared with you, like wearing dresses,
wearing bright colors, doing your hair and makeup,
wearing some jewelry, all right.
I'm not a big makeup person,
like I'm not wearing makeup right now.
But occasionally I do that just to like,
you know, step into my feminine.
And when I do, I enjoy it, like I do like it,
but you don't have to do it all the time,
but just pick and choose, okay.
Asking men for help is another way.
And this doesn't have to be a man
that you are interested in.
You could be at Target and there's something on a high shelf
and there's a man walking by and be like,
hey, excuse me, can you help me with that?
I mean, how many of you've been traveling
on a plane before and you have that overhead compartment?
Y'all, I'm 5'3", I'm short.
And I can't reach those overhead compartments.
So if you're traveling this holiday season,
and you know, maybe you are tall and you can reach,
girl, ask a man to help you.
Even if you can do it for yourself, ask a man to help you.
Because let me tell you, men love to help.
My husband is like that.
He refuses for me to open a door.
And sometimes, y'all have heard me say this,
if you've been in here for a little bit, drives me crazy.
Cause I'm like, I just want to get out of the car quickly,
especially when it's summertime here and it's hot.
I'm like, get me, like, I just,
I need to get out of the hot car.
I do not want to sit in this hot car, please hurry it up.
But he loves that.
He loves to be able to help me.
He doesn't want me to open doors.
So again, like I had to learn to step into
some divine feminine because I was independent
for 40 years, y'all.
Like I didn't, I wasn't married, never been married.
And so I've had to learn like God's gently.
reminded me that I'm a gift to my husband.
I'm feminine.
It's OK to allow a man to help me.
And it blesses my husband to be able to do that.
And so for my husband, I let him do that for me.
It's good.
It's good practice.
So if you're walking in a store and there's a guy there,
let the guy open your door.
Excuse me, can you get that for me?
Give a little smile.
You'll be surprised.
You'll be surprised at some of the attention,
some healthy, good attention that you can draw in.
It doesn't have to be sexual.
It doesn't have to be bad.
It doesn't have to be romantic.
It just can be a gentle, like you're
stepping into that feminine.
So ask a man for help.
And then accepting when people offer to do nice things for you.
And then just go out and have fun.
Do things that you enjoy and be around people that you enjoy.
Just let that joy come off of you.
Those are all ways that you can step into divine feminine.
It doesn't have to be if you have a date or not.
You can just do this out in the real world.
A couple more things I want to touch on,
and then I'm going to let you ladies have
your questions, a couple of things
that I saw pop up in the app this week
was the dropping of the hanky.
Raise your hand if you know what I'm talking about.
Raise your avatar hand.
You've heard the dropping of the hanky.
Is anybody confused by what that is?
Anybody?
Jill and Esther, you forget what that is.
Laveena, you're not sure what that means.
Yes.
Yes, Adrena, I'm going to explain dropping the hanky.
Absolutely.
Real quick here, I want to see, how many do we have on?
OK, we got 12 of you ladies on.
Awesome.
So you're dropping the hanky and what that looks like.
So when you're first meeting people, we have this idea.
I feel like this has just been over the years
and just what kind of society makes it look like.
And I hear a lot of Christian women say it,
like, I want to be pursued.
I want a man to do everything.
And Jackie always like, this was a new concept for me
that I had to learn.
Jackie's like, in the Bible, it doesn't
talk about men pursuing a wife.
There's no pursuit.
You pursue things that you got to chase.
If you're running, someone's going to pursue you.
So we're not trying to run away.
And so there's a thing called dropping the hanky that
we talked about years ago that Jackie brought to us
and it's just going to suck.
And she shared with us that back in the 1800s
in high society when there was courting happening
and there was the socialites and you put the women kind of came
to the scene like, I'm ready to date.
I'm ready for marriage.
I'm ready to be courted.
And so there was all these little society things
that you went to.
And so there would be men and women
and kind of walking around the park or whatever.
And so there would be interaction,
male and female interaction.
And so when a woman wanted to get to know
or wanted a man to notice her and talk to her,
she'd drop her hanky down.
And it was an invitation for the man
to pick it up and engage in conversation with her.
So we talk about dropping the hanky to let these guys know
you are interested in getting to know them better.
So I see this question all the time,
especially when you're online dating
and there's the texting back and forth and the messaging.
And they're like, but he hasn't asked me out on a date yet.
Like we're messaging back and forth.
Maybe you've had a phone call.
He's not inviting me on a date.
So this is where we say, ladies, it's
OK to initiate and drop that hanky.
And say, hey, it's been really enjoyable getting
to know you a little better.
I would love, if you're free, for us
to get together for breakfast or coffee.
Or maybe we can go on a hike.
Or maybe we could go bowling.
Or maybe we can go to the beach.
axe throwing, maybe come up with an activity, whatever it is, and just say, if you're free,
I would be open to that if we want to take this offline or take this off text and get to know
each other face-to-face. It's okay to signal and it's okay to drop that hanky and let that guy know
I'm interested in getting to know you more. Then after that, you allow the man to reciprocate
and take the invitation and go from there. It sounds difficult, but it's really not.
It's really a simple process. It's when we overthink it, it gets a little mucky. Again,
it's okay to initiate. It's okay to let a guy know, hey, I'm interested. Would you be up for
this? This is when we want the reciprocation. Now at this point, you're reciprocating back and
forth. If you initiate, then you're going to want the guy to reciprocate back. Then we always say
after that first date, let them know, hey, I had a really good time, if you did, and say,
I'd be open to doing this again. You may have to, another 24 hours later, you may have to message
him or say, that was really fun. I'd be open to do that again. You might have to remind him
even after the first date and then let him reciprocate back and initiate a second date.
Again, bring those types of questions and those situations to us
in the app. Us coaches can kind of help walk you through a more relaxed way where it doesn't feel
so rigid. Maybe we can help you take the edge off of that as well. Any more questions about
what that looks like? Lavina, I think you had your hand up, but is that because I had you
raise your hand before? Okay. I just wanted to make sure. Awesome. Okay. Then the last thing I
really want to touch on, because I think there was one or two of the women in here, one of your
sisters, I kind of noticed this, and this happens, this happened with me. I know if it happened with
me and I'm seeing it in, and I see it often in phase two and any of the phases, really,
this scarcity poverty mindset when it comes to dating. I'm an anxious attacher,
so this was always really heavy for me. I always felt like I had to compete with other people
for my spirit mate. Ladies, I just want to give encouragement that that's not how God operates.
You don't have to compete for your spirit mate. That really is a belief that's tied to a scarcity
poverty mindset. There's not enough, or God doesn't care about me, so I have to strive and
I have to compete because I need this guy to notice me. There's these other girls over here,
and it seems like he's interested in them, but he's not interested in me. Ladies, you don't have
to strive for your spirit mate. You don't have to compete for his attention. I really want you
ladies to, if I'm speaking to you right now and you're like, yeah, I get that sometimes,
I want you ladies to start processing through and allow God to come in and heal
where that might come from. Let me tell you, ladies, God wants to give you his best.
He has good, good gifts for his daughters and his sons because you're a gift to your husband.
He gives the best to his kids. Sometimes what happens is if there's something in our past,
in our childhood, where we felt like we had to earn certain things or there wasn't enough,
we didn't get enough attention, that can be an area where we might need some healing still.
So I just want you to be mindful of that. If you notice that you're scoping out,
you're worried about your single girlfriends, knowing that you like some guy that's in your
community and you're afraid that she's going to go after him, or maybe that's happened in the past.
Maybe there's been some hurt with some of your girlfriends, your single girlfriends.
I want to invite you into a process of going through that heart. You all have the heart work
tools and there will always be continual heart work that you'll do. These are just
opportunities for growth and upgrade. Okay. So
And one thing that helped me and what I had to go through
when I was dating guys that I thought were great,
I mean, there was one guy that I was like, he's handsome.
He lives in my area.
He's got a lot of great energy.
I mean, ladies, and this guy was cute, okay?
Like he was good looking, okay?
He knew Jackie was in her program, all right?
So he met her through a different way.
And so like, I knew he knew about heart work.
And so I was like, man, this guy, he was a great guy.
And I went out on a date with him.
I mean, it took him a while.
Like he didn't, he was not interested in me at first.
And I think Jackie probably had to like,
nudge him a year later, like go out on a date with her.
And he did, and we went out on a date.
And ladies, he wasn't my person, okay?
He was a great guy.
We actually, we still occasionally will chat.
But what happened two weeks after our date
is he went on a ski trip and he met somebody else.
And then I found out through women that I worked with
that the girl that he dated was like best friends
with one of my good friends at work.
And I was like, you gotta be kidding me.
Like there was so much that came up.
And so it, like I say, this is because I was upset.
Like I was hurt, not because he was my spirit mate,
but because I felt like I was being left out.
Why is this guy now going on double dates with my friends
and their significant others with some other girl?
Like, what are we talking about?
And I had to be reminded that God had a spirit mate
for him too.
And if I valued him as a person,
I want him to be connected to his spirit mate.
And it wasn't me.
And I was okay with that.
Because here's the thing, I had a young son.
I needed someone that was going to step
into a father role because my son's biological father
was very absent.
Like he's very minimal in my son's life.
And I knew that my husband was going to be part
of my son's love story.
You know, because ladies, if you have children,
your love story isn't just your own,
it's your kid's love story too.
And so I had to learn, like I had to be reminded
that this guy is dreamy and as handsome as he was,
and like he is, like he is a great, cool guy,
loves the Lord, but he was the guy
that was like the fun uncle.
He wasn't like ready to step into a father role.
Doesn't mean that he's not going to be a great father
someday, because I do believe that he's going to have
children and he's going to be a great dad.
Like it wasn't a godly match.
And so I had to learn that it was okay,
that God still had somebody for me.
And I could celebrate that God was possibly bringing
this guy his spirit mate and her, her spirit mate.
Like it's stepping into and accepting the fact that ladies,
we are all children of God and God wants all of us married.
To who he has created each of us for.
And the last thing that you ladies are going to want to do,
and I know this is not anybody's heart,
is to keep someone else from their spirit mate.
So if you can just let go of when things don't work out
or worry that, oh, what if he's,
what if he likes her over me?
That's okay, because God's got the perfect person for you.
And I know that's hard to hear and it's hard to believe
because I, I mean, I was in y'all's shoes too.
I was single for a time and people were saying this to me
and I'm like, you just don't get it, you don't get it.
Like it's, it's hard, it's, you know, it's sad.
I just want my person, you know,
it was easy for when people had their person to say that.
And I get it, like, I get it.
And now I say it to you all, like,
I met my husband and it all made sense.
It made sense why none of those other guys were my person
because my husband is perfectly matched for me.
You know, it doesn't mean that we don't have hard times.
It doesn't mean that we don't have arguments.
It doesn't mean that there are not areas
where we both need hard work.
because there is but that's why I also believe that's why we're brought
together is because we're supposed to to work together to allow those things to
kind of surface and heal and and we help each other and that's another reason why
we are perfectly matched so I hope that gives encouragement especially to some
of those that you know maybe if you're watching and replaying you've come to
our community and you've shared some of your heart and how you're struggling I
hope that you hear this and you're encouraged and that you remember God's
got you he's got a good spirit mate for you and the last thing you want is to
not be with the person that God has for you and you don't want any of those
other people that you would hope would be your spirit mate but not you don't
want to keep them from their spirit mate too and I had like that was hard for me
and I say that because I get it okay so just know I relate all right you can
come here you can share I'm here for you to lean on all of us coaches are here
for you to lean on so don't be afraid don't hesitate to come and share that
with us in the app whatever you're struggling with and we also want to hear
your praise reports too so I always love hearing those stories too so with that
being said I'm gonna open the floor to you ladies I'm gonna read through some
of these comments but if you have a question or something that you want to
share with us that you're excited about want to celebrate if you have a struggle
if there was something in any of the videos that you've watched that you
have questions about and you want some feedback maybe you're in a dating
situation and you want to know like how to navigate it maybe you're not dating
right now and you're just in a season and you want to share about that too
this is your time to let me know okay this is I'm gonna open the floor with
you for you but I will ask you yeah go ahead and put your hands up if you want
to share something because we kind of want to keep mind of time but that
doesn't mean that you can't share okay don't let the enemy sit there and tell
you oh we're cutting you know low on time so I can't share no we will if you
ladies have to leave you're always welcome to leave it's in replay I will
stay here and answer your questions all right don't don't let the enemy like
trick you but I am gonna ask that we keep things short brief and powerful
okay let's try to just give us the highlight all right so I see Nicole's
hand up so Nicole and I think you push posted in the chat too so what is your
question comment what do you want to share with us today I also was
struggling like some of the others on on the whole online dating yeah my goal was
just get the profile up on two sites and then get used to the whole idea of my
profile being reviewed by men yes thank for me and so I live in the Virgin
Islands and so there's it's a smaller market that we have people coming in
and out yes in groups of men that are here that come but a lot of the people
that are hitting on that site I'm saying trying to be friends with they are all
in Puerto Rico speaking in Spanish to me and I don't speak any of that so what
I've realized in another someone else said being on online dating apps I also
have to be careful of the dopamine hit that you get when people are just
oh I like you I like you it feels good absolutely
don't respond I don't know I'm not there yet and and then the second thing so I
wanted to try to figure out how to get out of the that dopamine feeling and
then although I'm not gonna fly over to Puerto Rico you know do you notice so
let me ask you I know you've got another question let me ask you are you finding
that when those likes are not coming that it is affecting you differently
well so far they come and I didn't know this is at least three four a day and I
kind of look through it and I just you know and then my friends are taking
control of this now they're saying okay we will go with you let's fly over to
Puerto Rico and have a weekend together and then we'll go out on a date with you
with this guy and I was like you know I don't know it's not like that idea I
mean so it's a safe one but I mean I have a conversation so I'm just like
here's the thing if you make it like a girl's trip you're there for a girl's
trip you can step away for an hour or two just to go meet somebody up but then
you're just you're only on an hour to two hour date like so ladies when you
all do
these first dates, we really do encourage,
keep those first dates to an hour to two hours tops.
And so I would say, if you wanna make a girls trip,
then it gives you a reason like,
hey, I'm here with my friends,
but I wanted to meet you for coffee.
I wanted to, you know, whatever.
But I do, I'm here with my girlfriend,
so I am gonna have to get back,
but I did wanna, I wanted to,
I wanted to meet you in person.
And so that's, I like that idea.
I really do.
A real quick thing is that,
because it's a low resource area,
I would, I traveled to New York and Washington DC,
and that's hard.
There's not a way on an app, I don't think,
to fully, I think, may have,
you're in New York or something like that.
So I'm more open to that.
So I'm just trying to work it out.
And then because I do conferences,
my friends are saying,
oh, just find someone at a conference.
I'm like, no, because that's where hookups happen
all the time.
We go for a three or 40.
I'm not doing that.
Well, here's the thing,
like when you're at conferences,
when you're at conferences,
I wouldn't say like go and like,
you're searching to hook up,
but I would say, be open to meeting both men and women.
Yeah.
No, that's why I'm a headhunter.
So I'm willing to meet people,
and I've never thought, headhunt your own partner.
It feels weird to me.
Right?
But again, it's like, take that pressure off.
Like you're not headhunting for a husband.
You are just engaging and learning more
about one of God's children.
Like learning something new about somebody,
and you never know what friendship,
because here's the thing,
I can't tell you ladies like,
y'all are gonna wanna marry your best friend.
You're gonna want your husband to be your best friend.
So I always say, go in,
and I tell this to my kids.
I have a 15 year old, a 13 year old, and a nine year old.
And my 13 year old daughter is like,
she's been ready to date, gosh, for a while.
Like, no, you're 13, that's not gonna happen.
But I always tell my kids,
you're not gonna romantically date.
That's just not gonna be a thing right now.
I said, y'all can have friends,
and it's good to get to know someone as a friend.
And so I would, you know,
if you're out of those conferences,
just go in with the mindset,
I'm gonna go meet new friends.
Yeah.
So the only last thing I'll say just for context,
like Teresa, my husband passed.
My husband was killed.
He was killed by the Taliban in Afghanistan.
It was in a terrorist bomb.
So part of my heart feeling is,
it's been six years now.
So I feel, I'm getting there,
but it's like, I get this panic about,
what if, you know, so that I don't,
and it's hard as a widow,
I don't see myself as single.
I see myself as a married person without a husband.
And it's a weird feeling.
So that's the other thing is like,
I don't feel like dating anyone,
but I have to put myself out there.
So, okay, that's enough for me.
Well, Nicole, I love everything that you shared.
I thank you so much.
So yeah, I like that idea.
Now what I, and I'm not on,
obviously I'm married, so I'm not on the apps right now.
And the apps I feel like have changed even since I've been.
And I mean, I've only been married a year
and three months, two months, three months.
I can't even remember.
And they've changed a little bit,
but I do believe that,
and some of you ladies can chime in on the app as well,
or in the chat,
that there are some of these apps that wherever you are,
that will, it will throw up who's in your area
with wherever you're at.
And I'm not sure if any of you ladies are on apps
that do that,
but will you just put what apps you're on in the chat?
Because Nicole,
so if you say you're traveling to DC in New York,
there may be an app or two that you haven't decided to be on
that it might be something that you could do and get on
so that when you're in New York, DC or traveling,
it will pull up matches for that area.
So I do think that there are some.
Okay, I'm going back in the chat here
so that I can scroll down.
You lost access to phase one in the heart work.
Okay, yeah.
They said they still go back.
Yeah, I'll talk with Bethany and Jackie
and I'll see what we're doing with that
because I think that's been a request for people
to be able to access some of the past material.
So I will follow up with that.
And if somebody wants to put that in the app as a question
so that it stays in front of us so that we don't forget.
Nicole, you said what I said was super powerful.
Pray for the guy you meet,
pray for them to meet your spirit mate
because if it's not,
you're not going to be able to meet your spirit mate.
as we want that. Yes, absolutely. Do we have to do the multiple dates before going to phase three?
So I will follow up with that.
And if somebody wants to put that in the app as a question
so that it stays in front of us so that we don't forget.
So no, Audrina, you don't. Okay. A lot of you won't get your seven dates before moving to phase
three. I mean, if you're like me, like I was, I was a busy, I was a busy single mom. So I would,
there was, I maybe could fit two or three dates in a month. And so you're only going to be in
phase two at the, at the minimum, like four to five weeks, if you're doing one video a week.
So you may only get two or three dates in. And I will say, there's a lot of ladies in phase two,
that they don't feel like they've been given the green light to date. And they're just kind
of sitting and soaking in and they're waiting, um, to get ready. Cause there's some other things
that God is, is working in them. Okay. So this is not like we all fit in a box and we all have to,
um, have our seven dates by this, you know, by the time we moved to phase three, there's some
women that have, but not everybody. I would say most, most women that come from phase two have
not gotten their seven dates before moving to phase three. Um, um, good, good, good.
Okay. So yeah, like Lavinia, she said she doesn't want to date until the new year.
So that's totally fine. Um, and you don't have to stay here in phase two. Once you're finished
with the content, because there's several coaches and there's a lot of, like a lot of the women are
dating in phase three or not dating. And there are some that are in level three relationships
and there's some that still haven't dated yet. So again, like you, you can, if you want to hang
in phase two for like another little bit, you can, we don't typically want to see you ladies
in here for more than three months. I would say in phase two, we do want you to shift out of here.
I know it feels good and cozy and I love y'all. Like I get sad when y'all leave me.
You know, I'm in phase three, but I'm not, I'm not active in phase three because my focus is,
is you ladies in phase two, but, um, yeah, so you don't have to rush over to phase two.
If you don't feel ready, but don't, don't get too cozy in here because we will kick you out.
We'll kick it at phase three, but we'll do it gently. I promise. All right. Um, so Holly,
you're honestly not interested in doing online dating again. I totally get it. Um, totally
understand. Yes. Okay. Um, I don't even know is Holly still on here, Holly. I will, if you are,
I'm going to get to you in a moment, but I'm going to let, um, Jill and then Joanne and Esther and
Suzanne, they got their hands up. And so Holly, we can come back and circle around that. Um, so
Jill, if you want to unmute, I know you, you've got a busy work schedule, so yeah. Thank you.
Um, I really value this time. So thank you guys very much. Um, I keep going through cycles of
like being really hopeful and really discouraged. Yeah. So I apologize. I'm probably going to cry,
but I'm in a really discouraging spot right now. I realized part of it is I've always been able to
hear really clearly from the Lord. And with what happened with my ex, it blindsided me.
It was really taken up. I hit me knowing like, do I hear from God? Um, the other thing is like
all my matches online and I'm having like guys, very interested in me. I'm having phone dates.
They're just not, they're red flags or inappropriate or nice guys, just not my guy
kind of things. I'm giving them many opportunities, not just one and done. Um, but I really feel in my
heart that this is not where it's supposed to be. And my guy is not in the 150, 200 mile radius that
these apps allow me to go. Um, so I'm just really sorry. It's okay. I'm really
feeling not hopeless, but really discouraged. Um, cause where I live, like Holly and I were
talking about this, there's kind of like similar for kind of similar guys in the area. They're all
different shades of kind of the same thing. And it's just not my person. So I don't really know
how to keep like, you know, I'm going back over what I have taken notes for the heart work and
kind of letting God speak into that healing, hearing him. Um, but I don't know how to just like,
stay consistent with my hopefulness and not keep it's like every other day, hopeful, discouraged,
hopeful, discouraged, you know? So I can totally relate when I was, cause ladies, for those that
you don't know, I was, I joined in 2020 and I didn't meet my husband until 2022, the end of
2022. And I really thought I was going to get married in 2022. Like I had been in this group
for over a year. And at the time it was called married in 12 months or less. And so we've now,
we call it last year single now, but I've been where you've been Jill. I have. So
like my heart is with you. Like I just, I just, I have a tug, like I get emotional too. Like
I just want you to know that you have a community here of women that are here
for you to have a shoulder to cry on. Okay. And it's okay to be sad at times,
but what we, what I want to encourage you with is not allow yourself to stay stuck there.
And it sounds like you go back and forth. Okay. So that's good. Now you mentioned, you know,
not feeling like you can always hear from God. And I, I, I think there's a divine appointment
here for you that so ladies that maybe jumped on a little late, um, Thursday, there is a special
session. Um, Jackie's friend, Bethany Hicks is going to do a teaching on how to hear from God.
And so Jill, I want to encourage you. I think it's a divine appointment. I think there's just
going to be something unlocked there for you that God's just going to highlight to you something
of just comfort and just know that he's got you. He's, you are here by divine appointment.
You're, you're here on purpose. God brought you here for a special reason and he wants to do a
good work in you. He has been doing a good work in you. And I just want you to feel encouraged.
I've been where you've been. I mean, I was ready to throw in the towel right before I met my
husband. I was like, I'm done. I've been doing this for two years. And I'm like, I don't, maybe
it's not for me, but I was like, I'm tired of getting my hopes up and feeling like I'm being
let down. And I let it go. And Jackie was like, borrow my faith, borrow my faith because God
showed me that you're a bride. And I have faith that he's going to deliver on that.
And I was like, okay, well, he's going to have to do something crazy.
And he did, but just know, like, I hope it just gives you encouragement knowing that you have
sisters here that I'm sure ladies just nod your head. If you're on camera, if you have been
where Jill is at right now, you have moments of discouragement. You have moments of
being hopeful and discouraged, hopeful and discouraged. You just don't feel like he's
in your area. And so I just, you know, ask God to highlight for you, if there's something that
he wants you to do, you know, maybe there's a trip that you need to go on. Yeah. I have this
and just so you know, like, I think I know where he's calling me, but it's like,
it's cross country. Like I'm not in Southern California. I'm so far from Southern California.
And I don't know how I can afford to go out, you know, to live out there. So
I want, it just feels impossible, but it feels impossible because we're in our own mind. We
think, and like, I know at times when I feel like, well, that's completely impossible is because I'm
thinking of all the things that I need to do. And I'm like, I don't know how to do that,
but you know, who, who can God, God is the God of the impossible.
So I'm just going to encourage you to just, you know, continue to pray. And I, Jackie,
um, I don't know if, did you get to listen to supernatural Saturday?
Ask, ask God, keep persevering. Ask what you, what you want him to deliver on. God, I need you to
bring the finances so that you can take me to Southern California. God, I know that you're
telling me I need to be there for whatever reason. And God, you're the God of possible.
You're, you're going to have to, I'm asking you to deliver on this.
I'm asking you for you to make the way.
or it feels like there's no way.
God, I need you to part the sea.
And just keep asking, keep pushing,
keep persevering through that.
And, cause he's not, he's the God of impossible.
So I just want you to feel encouraged
and seen and heard and known
and
just sit with that, but I do,
I think you need to get to the Thursday special session
for sure, or watch it in replay.
And I'm gonna be praying for you.
Your sisters here are gonna be praying for you as well.
Just know that you are not alone.
Okay?
Love you so much.
Ladies.
All right, Joanne, I hope that helped you, Jill.
Okay.
Joanne, I see your hand up.
How are you?
Me, Joanne, or someone else?
What's that?
Me, Joanne, or someone else?
Yes, you.
Yeah, no, I see you're in your car.
Yeah, I didn't want the movement to distract you.
So, hi.
Hi.
Good to see you.
So, I've been in phase two for,
I guess, October.
So, hopefully you're not kicking me out
because I'm learning a lot.
So, my question is, I've been,
I know my schedule's been crazy.
And then, of course, the added thing
with my dad being in the hospital,
so that actually made it a little bit more.
But how do I get these guys to say,
I have a couple of them that they understand
and they know we can't go on a date,
but at least they put forth the like,
okay, they're waiting on me for a date.
So, that's fine.
But the others, I'm like, hello, hello.
So, I don't know what to do with those.
So, okay, because yeah, you gave me,
like, I recall seeing you got Massachusetts guy,
you got BC guy, I think, is what you call.
Yeah, I haven't forgotten about your comments and stuff.
So, I was gonna get to that.
For the sake of time, so yeah,
let's kind of dive into this.
What do we do when guys are not showing interest, right?
So, is that kind of what you're saying here?
Now, let me ask you, have you dropped the hanky
and thrown out, like, you want to get to know them,
you wanna do a video chat,
you wanna meet them in person when it's time?
Have you done any of that with any of them?
So, with the Bronx guy, yes.
When we first moved out of the community into texting,
I was just like, and it was supposed to be happening
during Thanksgiving week, and I was like,
oh, great, you're on vacation, I have a day off,
let's pick a day and let's go out.
And that whole week, as you can see, came and gone,
and he never said, hey, let's do this.
All he kept saying was like, I'm on vacation
and I'm hanging out with family and friends
and blah, blah, blah, and I'm like, and, so.
So, that's where, and I don't know if you have jumped on
when I was talking about dropping the hanky
and the reciprocation and stuff.
That's where-
I think I was just coming on here.
Just coming on, okay.
So, yeah, this is where, so, ladies,
I want you to hear, like, Joanna,
she's putting forth effort, she's dropping the hanky,
she's letting guys know that she's interested.
Now she's waiting to see that reciprocation.
And if they're not reciprocating
and they're not making it a priority,
it's okay to continue to move on, okay?
You don't have to give a long explanation.
You don't have to say, well, you know,
I just don't think that you're giving me any time,
so I'm gonna move on.
Like, we don't wanna respond out of being defensive, okay?
So, and it doesn't sound, Joanna, that you're finding,
like, it's not like you're harboring any, like, hurt
or offense, like, it doesn't sound like you're offended.
Okay, so that's good.
Okay, so, ladies, if you find yourself in a situation
and you're finding that you're being offended,
that's a heart thing, and that's what,
then we need to go do some heart work, okay?
We need to, you know, do some healing there.
But for Joanna, it sounds like, you know,
she's just, she's, you know, mingling
and getting to know people.
So, again, like, if you've dropped the hanky
and there's no reciprocation, it's okay to just let it sit.
Now, it, you don't wanna completely cut it off, necessarily,
so you can always leave an open door.
So that's why you don't wanna go in
and be all defensive with these guys, like, well,
you didn't, you know,
you're not doing this, and duh, duh, duh, duh, right?
We're not gonna jump down their throats,
but we're leaving it open,
and if they're not reciprocating,
it's okay for us to back off the conversation too.
We wanna match effort.
So if they're giving some effort,
you're gonna match that same effort,
and it's just a back and forth.
It should feel ease, it shouldn't feel strenuous, okay?
We also don't wanna be the one that we're like
constantly pushing, pushing, pushing,
and then they're not, if we're pushing a lot,
and they're not reciprocating back,
we need to recognize, okay,
am I kind of throwing it out there?
That was me, ladies, I was anxious attach,
and I was always like, oh my gosh,
I gotta get in front of them,
I gotta put myself out here,
I gotta do this, I gotta do that,
and then when they weren't reciprocating
the same effort, it just allowed me to get more anxious
to wanna reach out more.
And that wasn't good either,
and so it literally is that reciprocated,
if he's not making the effort, making the priority,
you've put it out there,
I would be interested in a date with you,
let him lead that.
As long as you've communicated what you're open to,
and you've had some healthy communication there,
let them reciprocate it back.
It's reciprocate efforts, okay?
Does that help?
Yeah, that helps.
Yeah, and then you just let,
you let the men kind of lead,
like that's when it just kind of,
okay, who's gonna rise to the top?
Who does God want me to spend my time with?
Who's gonna rise to the occasion?
I've communicated, I'm open to dating,
I'm not exclusive with anybody,
so I'm gonna show interest, I'm gonna engage,
I'm gonna get to know people,
and I'm gonna let them decide
if they wanna get to know me
and show me that they wanna get to know me as well.
Cool?
Awesome.
Thank you.
You are welcome.
Esther, did you take your hand down?
Did we get to, did that answer your question?
I know, and I was thinking, do I actually have a question?
I don't, I don't think I do.
I got super anxious when I went back on the app.
I've been married for 30 years,
so the last time I dated was when I was 17,
so when I started dating the beginning of the year,
there were so many traps I stepped into
and so many mistakes I made,
and so I could relate to what Jill was saying.
My heart bleeds for her,
because I can sense it.
She's gone now.
I would love to say something to her,
because something really helped me,
because I just felt that I needed to be held.
You know, I just needed to be held by Jesus,
and that was where my focus went in the mornings,
just to sit with him for a bit
and not let it get to my head and heart too much.
Anyway, so this whole dating thing,
I'm back on the app since yesterday.
I'm like, oh my God, I see all these people,
and now I got a date for fun.
Like, how is that, how does that work?
So I do think that it helps me to hear you all say that,
you know, don't look for your husband,
just go on dates and don't take it too seriously,
because that's totally what I tripped into
with the few dates I went on,
which led to so much like, ugh.
So I'm trying to look at it that way.
Like, let's have fun.
Well, and here's the thing,
like, the cool thing is you have this community.
Yeah.
You have coaches here.
So you're not doing this alone.
Like, it's not like a year ago,
because now you have us.
Yeah.
And we're here, and let me tell you,
us coaches, we're here to help you with those blind spots.
Okay?
Thank you.
Jackie did that for me,
and that's what I'm saying.
Like, I'm blessed that, you know,
she allowed me to be on her team,
because let me tell you, I've experienced it all,
and we're just really good
at being able to help you ladies out.
Like, I don't give you ladies advice
of things that I didn't do, okay?
And I'll be real, and I'll be honest with you.
And that's the thing, like, ladies,
we sit here and tell you,
like, I was just thinking about this today,
like, you know, make sure
that if you're dating long distance
that you get off the texting
and you get on a video chat or in person or something.
Ladies, I didn't do that with my husband.
I didn't get on the phone with him
until the night before I was meeting him in person,
and that was almost three weeks after being, like, introduced.
So, like, we tell you to do these things,
but just know, like, there's no, like,
right way or wrong way.
We're just here to help you.
We see what is a good practice, okay?
And it doesn't mean that I didn't do this way,
so I messed it up.
No, there's not.
You can't mess it up, okay?
So, just know you're here, you're supported.
You have us to lean on,
so when the panic...
it comes, just come share it with us.
Like, oh my gosh, this is what's going on.
Help me out, help a sister out.
We're here to walk alongside with you on that.
And again, and we'll let you know,
and there's probably women that have been on here
and have heard me pull some Band-Aids
off of some of the ladies that have been here.
If you go back at some of the replays,
I've definitely pulled Band-Aids just off of people.
All right, I'm not, I'm one of those,
I've always shared, like I was one of those friends.
I will tell you what you need to hear.
I won't always tell you what you want to hear,
but I will do it in a loving way
because that's my heart, it's my nature.
And I know all the coaches that are here,
we all have that heart to help you.
So Esther, like you got your sister squad.
You've got amazing coaches here, not just myself,
but Ebony, Bethany, the coaches in phase three
are incredible.
Jackie is great.
Like you, you are in good hands, okay?
You don't have to do online dating.
Because I know I, ladies, when I first joined this community
I didn't date for a year.
Now I wouldn't suggest it.
Now I will say God took me on my own journey.
There was things I needed to heal from.
There was things that he needed to highlight to me.
There was reluctance.
There was fear as to why I didn't step
into the whole dating scene right away.
But like I said, like we're all here on a journey.
Like there's so much that you're gonna get from it.
And yeah, it's just good stuff, all right?
Suzanne, I see your hand up.
What's that?
My other Sarasota sister.
Oh, you're muted.
I do that all the time.
I hit the, okay, there we go.
I got you.
Okay, so I'll try to be really brief in this.
I got back onto online dating about probably three weeks.
So it was right near the beginning of November.
I had been off of like doing any dates
or anything for like a whole, a solid year.
So it was kind of like, I just felt like,
okay, I've done the heart work.
I kind of put a pause on some things for a bit
because there was some health stuff I was healing from
and all some things.
And I was like, I feel like it's time.
So I got back on a couple of different apps.
And for the first, I don't know, weekish or so,
it was a few chats here and there and whatnot.
And then there was a guy who ended up being down
in the area where I was living in November,
which was South of Sarasota, matched up.
And we started chatting and I'm like, oh, this is good.
And I don't know about like three or four days into it,
he's like, hey, would you be interested
in talking on the phone sometime?
And I'm like, yeah, how about right after Thanksgiving?
Cause I had just traveled up to Minnesota.
Shortly after Thanksgiving, we had a phone conversation
and it was just, I don't know,
I felt we kind of hit it off in that sense,
like easy, good.
And then a little bit after that, he's like,
would you like to do like a video chat?
And I'm like, yeah, that'd be great.
So we did that last week, some point,
I don't remember what day it was.
Early on in the chat, before we talked on the phone,
he mentioned in one of his messages,
he's like, hey, I'm recently divorced.
He didn't go into like great detail.
Divorce itself isn't like, oh my gosh, ah,
but I was like, I had some questions,
but I didn't feel like I wanted to go there right away.
We hadn't even talked.
Yeah, we definitely advise like,
don't dig in those exiles yet.
Like this is level two.
You're just getting to know them in the here and now.
You don't want to start diving
into any of the drama trauma sort of things.
But it's something that as you get to know him,
you will start seeing,
this is when to watch for those healthy behaviors
in his, like what happened and things like that.
Let that kind of naturally unfold.
I wouldn't probe.
I even say like, be careful people
that want to just come early on
and start dumping all of their stuff.
And there's early on, I would say redirect, okay?
Get listening ear and then just try to redirect
with like a different question or say, you know what?
Or if they ask you about past relationships
or they want to tell you more, be like, you know what?
I'm glad that you feel open enough to share that with me.
How about for now, until we get to know each other,
we hold those conversations until later
as we continue to get to know each other.
Would that be okay?
It's just setting healthy boundaries, okay?
And yeah, just be open.
Like just be open to hearing and seeing
because again, ladies, like you're getting to know somebody
so it's going to take several interactions with them
to start seeing their character.
and the qualities about them were, we're, we're, we're inspecting for fruit.
Like, do they have, are they patient?
Are they kind?
Are they joyful?
Are they gentle?
You know, do they have self-control?
Those are things that you look for as you get to know them, as you put yourself
in interactions and situations with them.
So for example, my, my husband now was married before he's a widow.
And so he did kind of dump some stuff on me early on.
And I kind of just held back on a lot of that.
Um, I mean, I honestly wanted to run because I was like, he's getting too
like serious, he's like deep diving, you know, and Jackie's like, chill out, girl.
He's like, let's enjoy the process.
Let this guy like, so interested in you and go on a date.
And, but as I got to know him, I saw how he worked through it in a healthy way.
Like I saw his open-minded us open-mindedness.
I saw how he was teachable.
I saw how he wasn't wounded and damaged from the toxic, you know, marriage that
he was in, as well as the trauma that he went through with his, his late wife,
having cancer and passing in that way.
So just be open and mindful and be watchful of those things, but don't, don't probe.
Don't ask a bunch of questions early on this.
You're still in level two, getting to know them in the present.
You know, it doesn't mean that you're not going to talk about, you know, things
that are important to y'all as you get to know each other, but again, just come to
us, let us know what's happening and we can kind of help and guide like, Hey, this
situation happened, this is how I handled it.
This situation happened, help me.
I don't know how to handle this.
We're here to kind of walk alongside you in that.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
More there's, there's a more to the, go ahead.
Yeah.
Cause I know I cut you off.
I apologize.
Where I was at in it, you know, and I'm like, I'm not going to ask anything
and to even send that first message.
He's like, you know, if we talk more, I can share more.
And I'm like, great.
You know, like perfect.
Like there's been a lot of things, but after our FaceTime video last week, I'm
telling you the last like three or four days, I just, I, I really felt like Holy
spirit was, was like guiding me to ask just the question, like don't need details.
Like how recently, like, did this go through like two weeks ago or
was this a few months ago?
Oh no.
I still, I still see you.
I still hear you.
All right.
I realized my phone's like dying, but, um, um, and so
we talked last night and I know you just said, don't do this.
But I, I just asked the question last night.
Cause I felt like I was supposed to.
And, um, he answered really honestly and I found out that he wasn't totally
honest, like filed for, but it has not fully gone through and had this moment
last night, I'm like, I've actually been talking to a man that's officially
not divorced yet, like in his heart.
Is anyway, there's some stuff with that.
And I can't, I just like, I'm not, I can't like communicate.
I just, in my heart, I'm like, it's like, I'm still like, I was
talking to a married man.
I didn't know.
And I kind of had to walk through some stuff and I feel like that's
part, maybe why Holy spirit guided.
Like, I really felt like I needed to ask that question for summer.
So, yeah.
So that's what I'm saying.
Like, I like that you're partnering with Holy spirit because again, Holy
spirit's going to speak to you.
Yeah.
I would just say, be open and communicating with him and be like, look,
you know, I, I've enjoyed getting to know you.
Um, it would be, and, and again, you, you, you'll go to Holy spirit with this.
You could even, you could say, look, I'm, I really enjoy getting to know you and
I would be open to continuing, get to know you.
Um, but I would feel more comfortable if we maybe waited until you, the, the
divorce was final, would that be okay?
And after that, you know, if you want to connect with me, I would totally
like, we can pick things back up.
Now, what I will also preface is, um, I know, I don't know how much you've
heard of Jackie's story, but she obviously like David was her neighbor.
Okay.
And so they were not like, they were, I think getting to know each other when
they were not fully divorced yet, but the marriage was over.
So sometimes there's certain technicalities, but again, like you just said, this guy.
just filed so you you never really know like it's more about where their heart is and what
happened but again like it's still fresh like still literally we're not encouraging ladies
to find out that information again using holy spirit to kind of guide you but like i said you
can communicate with him like hey it i enjoy getting to know you can we just shelf this until
maybe things are more final yeah you gotta you have to follow peace with what holy spirit is
speaking to you but i'm just here to give you the perspective that it's not always cut and dry
like that like i know sometimes people are like oh they're not fully divorced i'm you know the
whole i get that but i will say there's been situations where the the marriage is over it's
just the the courts sometimes take a while to go through and finish yeah finalize it doesn't
mean that there can't be now obviously ladies we i say this because we're not getting physical with
any of the men that we're we're dating like we like i cannot preface enough like no sex before
marriage absolutely like that is like that to us is like that's jackie is firm on that okay now we
get it we get that you know we all are big girls like you know we can all make our big girl decisions
but we will just share from our own perspective of just why that's important and so again like
i could say like if you're not romantically involved in that way it's you're still
you know good but again it's it's about learning and letting holy spirit highlight because every
situation is going to be different there's no like black or white in this area so again keep
following holy spirit like you are and keep us posted let us know what happens okay i appreciate
that that's a lot of confidence for what i had been sensing because i really spent some time
with the lord last night after that conversation and i talked to one of my best friends today too
and and i just felt like i know what holy spirit was leading me to do as a next step of like pause
you know and just to honor myself and the such like just everything immediate yeah you want to
be like ladies we want to be obedient to what god is asking of us so and it kind of surprised me
i feel like in the past i've been like oh my gosh there's just no way and i'm not like hanging my
hat on hope for like i just i just feel really at peace and it's been kind of an interesting
journey the last 24 hours but i that's just confirmation what you said again like some of
these guys ladies that you're dating like they're in there for something that god wants to highlight
to you so maybe this situation you were to meet him just to help again give you confirmation know
that you hear from the lord giving you peace just again showing you your own growth and your own
opportunity like god can use all of that like again we're not just on a love story journey
we're on like i always communicate this to everyone i talk about to about this program is
the the husband is the bonus when you step into this community and you get married that's just
the bonus it's like okay great this is wonderful but i will tell you there's so many greater gifts
that you'll get in this program and for me having a stronger intimacy with the lord
was the bigger blessing like my husband is great i love him i'm blessed i'm thankful for him but
i'll tell him and i'll tell everybody my relationship with the lord and with jesus
is the bigger blessing because he's number one to me and my husband appreciates that that's my focus
and so that ladies i can't stress enough like drawing into him and connecting with holy spirit
and building your intimacy with with the lord is it will just pour abundance and what we have
here to offer you ladies in last year single okay all right there's a couple questions in the chat
so i'm going to get to that so um adrena she's still here good so should you be dating within
your community or online if we plan to move next august to another state to go to bible college
or put a pause on it i say again like what is the lord leading you
i honestly i'd say if you are open to dating
in your community and online, go for it.
Like just have opportunity, put that dating into practice,
get to know people you never know,
who you connect with, who's gonna lead you
to other opportunities and other areas
that God just wants to just pour into you.
So I don't think, for me, I don't ever think
that there's anything wrong with meeting more people.
If God is giving you the green light, I say go for it.
Suzanne and Esther suggested Upward and Bumble.
So I know we talked about, Nicole, about like the area.
So if you're on Upward or Bumble,
try those out because they will let you know
who's in your area.
So if you're traveling to New York or DC,
it's gonna give you men that are available
wherever you are.
So Teresa said, Nicole, I do think dating
is different as a widow.
So yes, Nicole and Teresa, you both have experience.
So it looks like, Nicole, you got to that perfect.
And Facebook, you can put in different locations
as well on it.
So that's what I used.
I used Facebook dating.
I had positive things.
I didn't meet my husband off Facebook dating.
Now he was a Facebook connection
through a different community that I wasn't in,
but my sisters from this community were also in that
and they like looked out and he dropped
into my Facebook DMs and luckily I didn't ignore him.
So yeah, Facebook will do that.
So as we move into the holiday period,
might we be going through enhanced emotional states
because of it missing the past feeling left?
Yeah, absolutely.
Like even if you're not single,
like a lot of people this time of year
have emotional things that happen
because it's tied to memory.
There's all sorts of stuff.
There's could be like trauma that people experience,
whether they've lost somebody or maybe even in the past
of Christmas just brought up poor memories for you.
Like that can come, people losing parents.
And I know oftentimes that people have lost parents
and the next Christmas is harder
because they're not with those people.
I mean, both of my parents are still living,
but I lived in Florida for over 15 years.
And so there was just traditions and things
that I did in Florida that I just miss.
So this is my second Christmas here
in the Dallas Fort Worth area.
My parents lived two hours from me
when I was living in Florida.
And so I don't have my family.
And so last Christmas, it was harder,
even though I had a husband and I had two new kids,
it still was a hard season.
And even this year, it's a little bit better this year,
but there are moments that I catch myself
being a little sad of what it was like in the past.
So ladies, even when you get married,
there will be times you'll miss
some parts of your singlehood.
I experienced that, that sometimes I'm like,
oh, it's not just me and my son anymore.
And there were special times that I had with him.
And so now it's learning to blend things
and Christmas is different these years.
And I'm not around my family,
I'm around my husband's family more.
And so I miss them.
So there's all sorts of things that can be coming up.
But what I will say is that your heavenly father
is there for you and loves you.
And when we lean on him and we use our hard work tools,
like there can be healing and growth and upgrades
and all sorts of stuff.
So yes, Nicole, I relate to that.
I think I'm almost through some of these.
I like to make sure I read the comments.
So yes, Jill, Holly, yes, and I didn't forget your hand.
I see that as well.
Does anyone feel that the apps are a distraction?
Yes, so again, I will tell you ladies,
the apps and stuff, it's just manager time.
And next week we'll go a little bit more
into online dating as well.
And the online dating video that you'll watch
will help with that as well.
But I would say just, it's all about healthy balance.
It's setting boundaries for yourself when you're on the app.
And I had to set time parameters for me
in certain days of the week.
Otherwise it could be too consuming
and I just had a busy life.
And so just keeping that in mind as well.
Cool, all right.
Holly, I see your hand, so I'm gonna give you the floor.
If you can help me keep it short, brief, and powerful,
because we're now going close to two hours.
And Lord, I hope Jackie, you don't have to leave.
No, I only put my hand up because you.
But I wanted to leave the space for you, so.
Oh, that was sweet of you.
No, I don't really, I'm fine.
Okay.
You just said you wanted to circle around
about the comment I made about not really interested
in doing online dating again,
but I don't really need to talk about it, so.
Yeah, I mean, and we can talk about that next week, too.
So yeah, that whole online, ladies, I get it.
Let's dive into that a little bit next week,
because I know, like, I did not wanna do
the whole online dating thing.
I mean, we all have our own reasons
why we don't wanna do it or why we are cool doing it.
I will just, again, just preface,
press into Holy Spirit, you know,
let him give you peace on what, how to navigate that,
whether you jump on or not.
We do say that if you're not gonna do online dating,
which it's totally fine if you don't feel led to do that,
but make sure that you are finding other ways
to get yourself out there.
Like, come out of hiding.
How else are you putting yourself out there to meet people
and to let people know that you're open to dating
and you want that?
So that's what we would encourage,
but we'll definitely dive more
into online dating next week for sure.
I think there was an iPhone user, they popped off.
Oh, no, wait, I see iPhone user.
I saw your hand up.
I wanna make sure that I didn't scare you
from sharing whatever it is.
I know you had your hand up.
So if you, hi, I don't know your name
because it just says iPhone user.
Sorry, I didn't know I had the video on.
I'm like getting ready for work and taking the dogs out.
We can talk next week.
Okay.
It's probably a little bit more of a question
that might even, you know, a little longer, yeah.
Well, first of all, what is your name?
Sophie.
Sophie, so nice to see you.
Is this your first week in phase two?
It is.
Welcome.
Thank you.
And also, have you been in our app?
Yes, I'm on the app.
Okay, if you wanna put your question up
in the ask the coach or let us know,
like we can also respond there.
Okay.
Okay, so I don't want you to wait a whole week if, you know.
Yeah, it's only, I had met this guy.
We went on several dates, then I did this work
and I told him I can't date.
I'm doing the heart work.
He was fine with it.
Good.
And then, so it's been two weeks
that I switched to phase two,
but I haven't really gotten into it yet until this week.
But he, I found out that he really doesn't believe in God
and he didn't put any of that on his information.
He said, look, I'll go to church with you,
but I've had experiences that have kept me from it.
And so I don't wanna continue going out with this guy
and have that kind of relationship.
But I just, you know, some people are like,
hey, you never know, you know, maybe you're to bring him.
But so that's my point is that
we can talk about it next week.
I'm not gonna-
Just briefly too, like I know, yeah,
like I don't like the whole missionary dating.
Like I'm dating you on a mission to bring you to Jesus.
Like that's again, like follow the Lord.
What is the Lord speaking to you?
What is he giving you peace about?
We always say it's a yes until it's a no.
And if it's a no, it's a no, and that's totally okay.
So sometimes the way of, you know,
if you decide like this is a no,
like he's a great guy or whatever, just say, look,
you know, I've enjoyed getting to know you.
I don't see this going anywhere romantic,
but I'm out looking because I wanna find a partner
that, you know, is going in the same direction
for their hunger for the Lord,
the way that I am.
And so that's why we're not a romantic match,
but I have enjoyed getting to know you.
I wish you the best.
Like there's ways of being able to do that.
Yeah, we always say it's a yes until it's a no.
And ladies, it's okay, it's a no.
Now I will say like, I always encourage ladies
to just go on a date or two,
even if you don't feel like they're like sold out
for the Lord, because again, you never know,
but, you know, and that's why I always say,
go into it with the attitude that you're just going
to get to know a new person, to make a new friend.
You're not looking, is this guy my husband,
but you're just trying to build connection
and get to know somebody.
And then as things get revealed, you'll see that,
okay, this is not a romantic match,
but it was a nice person.
I can't tell you how many guys I dated
that were just nice guys.
They didn't love the Lord
and they weren't going in that direction.
And so I knew that and it was okay.
And the door would like softly close and it was fine.
So I see nothing wrong with that,
if you know like, I need someone.
don't we want you ladies to partner with someone who is moving in the same direction and
Going after Jesus in the same
Direction. It doesn't mean that they have to have been on the same path as you
Okay, I always emphasize there's some people like oh, well, he doesn't go to church
Ladies, somebody doesn't have to go to church in order then to have a relationship with the Lord
Okay, there was a time that God told me to step away from going to church for a little while
I was like, but I need it. I need to leave my church that I've been with for you know, ten plus years and
You know, I dabbled in a few other churches, but I never got fully involved, but it didn't mean that I didn't have
Community I had this community and that's where I was doing prayer calls like several days a week
I was you know jumping on these zoom calls, you know going to
The special sessions like how to hear from God and the prophetic things
And so I was doing other things to grow my relationship in a different sense community
It wasn't on church on a Sunday, but it was in a different way
So don't be so quick to jump on the like, but he doesn't go to church sort of thing
Just leave that open again. I always say hold things loosely and allow God to kind of highlight to you
So I hope that helps and then we like I said
We can dive into a little more if you want to post it in the app
And we'll get to the question to answer your question in more detail. Thank you
Ladies, it's been such a pleasure. I always enjoy this time and I I pray that you guys have a great rest of your week
don't forget about the special session Thursday and
Don't forget about your activations and please come to the app
And share with us what's going on in your life. Don't be stranger all week long
Okay, so have a blessed rest of your day ladies. Thank you so much. What's the special session on Thursday?
Oh, so the special session is
It's how to hear God
It's in the events tab. So you'll get your zoom link in the events tab
Jackie's friend Bethany Hicks is teaching it
She's been
When I first joined the community, she did a special session very similar and it's good
so what I will say is we do a prophesy your year and
If you want to be part of that now, that's an additional
cost
event for last year single
If you want to sign up and do that
You have that you have to attend the how to hear God session on Thursday
If you can't make it live, it will be in replay
But you have to make sure that you watch it and replay if you want to do the prophesy your year
so again, it's events tab and
Then don't forget about the last trip single that's under the resource tab
If you are interested in meeting up with some of the ladies here last year single in Columbia
With Jackie and David they have a trip plan. So the registration is open for that and all the details are in the registration
Okay, awesome ladies so good to see you all have a blessed week and I will see you all next week
Bye. Bye