What now?
The flu is no joke, man.
That thing could not be down for four days.
I hope you're feeling much better now, though, Hope?
Oh, yeah.
Now I'm moving everything out of my house.
So cool.
Yeah.
Thanks for checking.
Yeah, well, welcome to, as I was saying before we hit record,
welcome to Monday, December 23rd.
It is, I guess, it's not quite our last Men's Heart
check-in for the year.
Next Monday, I'll be in Columbus.
So just kind of be on hold for that.
I don't know quite what my schedule is in Columbus.
So I might try to get on, jump on with you.
I don't know, are you guys going to be tied up next Monday,
doing holiday stuff, work stuff, anything like that?
Or anybody traveling for the holidays?
I am, I know Steve is.
Steve and I are trading places.
No, I'm just going to be working really hard.
You'll be working.
Steve and I are trading places.
Steve is coming to Austin.
What's that, Steve?
Be back Monday night.
Oh, you'll be back Monday night.
All right, cool.
Yeah, that direct back, yeah.
OK.
I have absolutely no plans.
Just staying home.
You got a nice Christmas tree in the background,
though, there, Andy.
Yo, thanks, yeah.
I actually set it up just in time
for my family's Christmas party, which runs on Saturday.
You see, we have to share my brother's in-laws.
My brother has in-laws now, so that
meant that we celebrated Christmas on Saturday,
this past Saturday.
Kind of weird, but.
I have a tree literally up in my house
right now with lights on it and no decorations.
That's as far as I got with the lights, the tree.
So the tree's up, lights are on it.
Of course, it's a pre-lit tree, so I can't really
take credit for lights on it.
So it's like.
That's sad, David.
That's really sad.
I'm wearing my tree.
Yeah, I see it.
There you go.
I should get lighter clothes, too, for holidays.
But anyway, I hope you guys are doing well.
Hope you guys are going to have a good holiday.
Hope you have plans to spend at least with some friends
and family at some point in all the stuff.
Abram, you're probably having some really good food.
I mean, is that for sure what happens at your place?
Yeah.
Nice.
I should come out there for some sort of holiday or something
or some sort of festive moment to see you and your family,
because that has to be some good eating.
And what's traditional for you as far as the main course?
Some people have like ham, turkey, whatever.
What's your main?
You're asking everybody?
I'm asking Abram specifically.
We tend to, can you guys hear me?
Yeah.
We tend to do like American, so we always have,
we kind of do like Thanksgiving twice.
But we always have Italian twists,
like we'll always have a pasta.
Or my mom, she tends to do like biscottis,
and she'll do like half lemon glaze,
half chocolate, like dipped.
So she has some desserts kind of theme in her Italian.
My dad can't cook, so his holidays are kind of,
they're really about what they're
supposed to be about, which is spending time with family.
I feel like my moms, we always are definitely
looking forward to the food, like 100%.
Yeah, it's not healthy food, but it's all good.
We could cheat.
If you live the way you live, then that's good.
You can do that.
I love it.
Yeah, yeah.
So yeah, thanks for asking.
Up in Canada, do you guys have a, what's your,
do you have a main course up there, like anything unusual?
Not for you, but unusual for us Americans.
Oh yeah, no, we have seal and whale,
and we have all the penguin and all that.
It's all good, yeah.
Are you serious?
No, I'm not serious one little bit.
Okay, I was about to say, I'm going to Canada.
You could have totally fooled me.
We usually do in the southerners.
We could pull your legs all day long
and you wouldn't know it.
I bet.
No, it's a traditional, you know,
part of my family is Norwegian,
so we have a lot of Scandinavian type foods,
and Ukrainian foods like pierogi and ham,
the turkey and everything else.
So it's a variety of everything
because we have so much culture up here,
so many different people that we just bring in
whatever they got,
what they love for the Christmas season, you bet.
All right, okay.
That's good.
Yeah, um, I
Think Jackie's gonna do a roast. So we've got a sort of it's not a sir
It's it's not just like a dry roast but like a nice roast that my daughter's recipe for us
We're gonna do that in the crock pot
I'm not gonna necessarily do a turkey. I do a turkey for Thanksgiving. That's about it
It's about the only time I cook like major cook like pressure on sort of like cook during the year
And I've last three years. I've cooked turkey and I've done a really good job. I might say so myself
and
Simple nothing fancy. Nothing like, you know, like deep-fry or anything like that
I haven't gotten into the like, Texas smoking and all that, you know, I'll just let that leave that to the Texans and
That's too much work to like go and check on that and just living with meat all day for eight nine ten hours
That's a lot
so I
Got other things to do
Well good
What's that in other words keep you out of the kitchen for the rest of the year, yeah trying to be
No, that's funny. I usually get cleanup duty. It's kind of like there you go
like babe
Do you have to use all these bowls? Why can't you just use one, you know, or two?
Can we just can we clean up while we're going? Nope. Can't do it. You get ease use all these serving spoons
Okay, got to use all of them. All right got all of them. I'm gonna clean them all I
Got you that's painstaking isn't it? I put down clean the stove
I drive most women crazy because I I will clean up as I go along now. You have to
You have to it's like
No, and I left literally everything was going great this Thanksgiving. I would I will tell you this everything was going great
This Thanksgiving we were kind of early. We're kind of actually prepared
I mean in terms of like the food ready before like most of the guests were showing up and
So people were coming in and I literally stepped out of the room
For five minutes and everything was going smooth. There wasn't like stress and I was able to even watch the parade
I mean, you know like it was just like going like clockwork
And all sudden I leave the room leave the kitchen for five minutes and I'm hearing all this commotion. I'm like I
Leave for five minutes. What is going on? There was a bowl that was
Thrown on the floor and it was dropped, you know
and it was a glass bowl and it shattered everywhere and it was like and
Then this happened and something else and then somebody came in and they you know
They were trying to like take over the oven and it was just like chaos
I'm like, I literally won't leave the room for five minutes and we can't have
like what is going on like
so it's um
Have to keep keep tabs on everybody
All right, so holidays is upon us
Anybody got any stuff that you want to process?
Talk about open up
Right now relational. Yes
Okay, absolutely
Hunter what do you have for us?
Well, I made some progress and I might put it down in that thing in singles app that I went
I was struggling with loss of pornography gratification and my average time to go without is
Usually 72 hours now. I'm breaking at the average to 96 hours and I next next week
I and they last week was once a week something I've never done in years and now I might be
Pushing towards a little over 96 hours without it. Then I figured this
I mean the secret is is that it's porn is just sex with no intimacy
So basically, I thought that sex is good
Well on some marriage and I thought well if I'm I gotta have a relationship if I want to have sex
That's like job you go work you get paid. I figure well if you want sex you gotta marry first
I thought they like that but I figured no, it's not like that
You got you gotta be committed or something and I and I'm gonna wait long because it's not the season
God has my spear made for me, especially when I'm working real long hours during the holidays at Amazon
So I figured you know what I remember my my last level 3-1
I didn't like how she treated and I used to behave like her and and I didn't like it so much
It's God's way saying you don't like how she behaved told you don't behave like that towards others
And also try to be the best version of you
You may not have your dream marriage that you dreamed in high school
But in when you have your close family around but you know what you can do, you know
I can do you can just open up and maybe
Maybe but now it's bad because it's gonna get in the way of great where God has a spearman you're gonna have great
It can't be all about it can't be a one when you make an idol
That's the difference when you love someone so how you put God first in a relationship
Well, you you gotta love God, but you can't well how you love God you gotta love someone there
Idolatry is basically you trying to love that person,
make her someone that you can do,
and you can only love her in your infinite,
your finite way.
And you have to, and you rely on her,
like self-evaluate, self-validation,
and molding her to fit into your own agenda
in the marriage, in the relationship.
Well, I am rejoicing with you, Hunter,
with regard to the progress you're making.
I think that's awesome.
Thank you for sharing that,
and thank you for sharing what you're learning,
because if we were all so studious as you,
we might actually accomplish a few things,
I tell you that much, and open and honest, and that's good.
So keep it that way.
You will definitely go far and succeed
in what you're endeavoring to do.
So definitely, thank you for sharing that,
and we're rejoicing with you.
All this healing heart and everything,
all it's doing is just giving me
all these philosophies and mindsets,
I'm seeing healthy mindsets on how to look at things,
like, okay, between a marriage and relationships,
level one, level two, level three,
there's a good way to go and not a healthy way to go.
We're gonna go for the way,
and I'm able to anticipate and discern on it.
That's awesome, so awesome.
Thank you for sharing that.
That takes a lot of bravery to open up like that,
plus at the same time, be so calculating.
I mean, that's powerful, so good.
I love it where you know where you stand.
So thank you for sharing.
Anybody else?
That's something on your mind,
something on your heart you wanna share?
Well, I've been going through my different weeks
that I've gone through, just finished the weeks,
but I'm going through all the sub iPodcasts as well, too.
And I come to this realization,
I've been doing it all wrong.
Oh, wow.
It's like everything that she says,
your wife says, I've done,
what you're not supposed to do, I've done.
So it's like, holy cow.
Okay, what's one example of that?
Well, I was in a very unique situation over the last year,
dating for the first time after like 40 or 45 years.
It's like dating today is totally different.
Chivalry is right out the door.
Women just don't like that.
And it's like, wow.
But anyway, the Lord did put me on one woman
who actually did respond.
And, but she was a very unique,
she's the opposite than anything that I'd ever want.
I mean, the opposite, really beautiful looking woman,
but you know, she's larger than I'd like.
And she's got a kid at home
and that kid doesn't like anybody.
And that kid has a child also.
And so it was like everything, yeah, everything but,
but the Lord gave me a unique thing
that I finally realized a year later
is that he gave me a person
which I was supposed to love unconditionally.
And that's hard for me to do love unconditionally.
So a whole year of doing that
has brought me to no level of understanding
of what really love is and what it is not.
And so in doing that, I've been able to process
that ability to be able to love a woman
the way that she needs to be loved,
not the way that I think she needs to be loved.
And that's, and that's brought,
bringing things up like the five languages of love
or the cherishing or cherishing somebody
from a lot of the, I'm a reader.
So I do a lot of reading
and finding out all the mistakes that I've made.
So when I finally find that one girl, that's the right one,
it's gonna come all into play in the right time
and I'll be able to use each one for it.
But my biggest thing is that I'm,
because I'm moving towards ministry,
you just can't choose anybody.
You gotta find somebody that's mature in the faith
and also wise in the faith as well too.
And wise as a person, be able to be communicative.
You put all those things together
and those women are very difficult to find,
extremely difficult.
And so I've just gone, that's why I'm enjoying
doing all the podcasts that I'm doing with Jackie
and all her uniqueness, I have to say that's,
she, when she punches, she punches hard.
Cause I'm a total extrovert and I've married an introvert.
I'll never do that again.
And because it just, it may attract,
but it doesn't mean it's right.
Yeah, yeah, you guys think you guys have all heard Jackie talk and teach in that and some
of you have even probably you've met her in person. I know that for sure some of you have
and you think she's an extrovert or do you think she's an introvert?
I would say she's probably an introvert but she comes out with a vengeance or you know
an ambivert like where I would think that she probably processes a lot but then comes out.
I don't know that would be my guess.
Yeah, anybody else?
Yeah, I think she's an extrovert to me. She seems like extroverted to me.
Extroverted?
I think that she's an introvert that learned how to become an extrovert.
Stephen, what do you think? I want to hear what you have to say because Stephen actually knows Jackie pretty well.
Yeah, I definitely can see the extrovert and I think she's very similar to what I am.
We give a persona of extrovertism, however you want to say that correctly, but I enjoy my alone time,
my peaceful time, my solace with just individuals one-on-one but yeah, you get into a gathering,
you get into a group, a switch turns on and you can take over the room and you can be outgoing and I think Jackie is very similar to that type of personality as well.
Yeah, yeah. No, that's right and you guys generally I think probably got it pretty correct.
She's extroverted in a way that's like, you know, if you go with like the whole enneagram sort of thing,
she's like a 7-8 is kind of like how she describes herself and, you know, so she has,
she's a very strong personality but at the same time, you know, her 7 is the side of her that
comes out where she just wants to have fun. She just, you know, loves people, wants to have a good time,
you know, whatever sounds fun, let's go do that. Let's just, you know, be spontaneous, that kind of
thing, you know, that really rocked my world when I met her the first time because I kind of like
spontaneity but I like it to be sort of put on me, not necessarily from me. I'm not the one like
cheering going, hey, let's go do whatever, fill in the blank, you know. I'm usually kind of like,
you know, oh, that sounds kind of exciting but I'm also the kind of person that's not looking for
that every moment, right, but a true 7 is just like, oh my god, let's just go out and like,
you know, do something like tip over cows or, you know, just like something crazy, you know,
and so Jackie's kind of like that but at the same time, you know, Stephen's right, you know,
Michael, you said she's an ambivert. That's probably more accurate as far as an actual
word that describes but she does value her alone time like Stephen was saying,
you know, she's very kind of like, I need to be away from people and that kind of stuff and she
recharges but the one thing and, you know, Kenton's right, you know, the one thing I think
above anything and this sounds really cliche but it's very, very specific. You do need a woman
that has her own relationship with the Lord and, you know, it can be very simple and it can be very
deep and very like, you know, like she can be very knowledgeable, she can be very well-discipled
but it doesn't have to necessarily be like she knows every scripture verse, she knows all
theology, she knows all the, you know, spiritual ideals. She doesn't need to have the knowledge
as much as sort of the relational part of it and that's one of the things that I learned early on
with my wife when I met her was that at the end of the day, regardless of how crazy it might have
been, regardless of how like, you know, at the time we were meeting at a time in our lives where we
were both very, very down in our spiritual, not spiritual walk or spiritual life but what we were
doing was ministry and so we were definitely on the downslope of our coming off of our traditional
ministry sort of behavior just because of what had happened in the organizations and in our lives.
So it wasn't that we were not spiritual, it was just in a time that was very undifferent
than our recent history. Does that make sense? In other words, I was a pastor and I was doing a lot
of pastoral things, I was doing a lot of teaching and a lot of ministry and so forth, and then all
of a sudden I wasn't because I was this religious...
gated to sort of the back corner.
And her church fell apart.
Her pastor went to prison.
So it was just like she had nowhere
to go in terms of a church community.
So we were like suffering in that way.
But it was a paradigm shift.
And we didn't kind of really know it.
We were meeting at that time.
And so we were just finding a lot of fun and excitement
in terms of meeting someone new.
And just like going out and doing things
that we really didn't ever have time to do,
just go out and just have fun.
And regardless of that, at the end of the day,
she had a certain consciousness that serving God
and pleasing the Father was really important.
And I could see that even in the midst of what
we were going through.
And so that was really interesting to me.
And not only that, she was very attractive and so forth.
But at the end of the day, I say all that
to say that this week was a very difficult week.
And there was a lot of things that
were challenging in my world, and especially
even in the relationship with my wife.
So it's so much to the point where we came together
and we created, like this is my little list here,
we recreated our vows to each other this week.
Because we felt like there was definitely
opposition to our relationship, to the work
that we're in, to our lives in general.
So when you have fussing and when
you have relationship disorder because you've
been with somebody for some time and you get picky,
you get frustrated, and that's all
a precipitation of what's happening in your world,
being overwhelmed, having too much going on in your life,
things going wrong.
We probably had four, five, six things in our business
and in our just things like break,
and the garage door got stuck up,
and just other things that were just like, why now?
Why this?
Everything's fine, and all of a sudden,
things start just going wrong.
Somebody does something in the community,
or all kinds of things were going wrong this week.
And there was just irritation after irritation
and frustration.
And we knew in our hearts, we're like, man,
I feel like we're being challenged to the point
of the enemy is coming against us.
And I don't really talk much about the enemy.
I don't talk much about the devil.
I'm not one of those people that's like,
oh, the devil's making me do this,
or the devil's behind this, or the devil's against me,
or the devil's tracking me down.
I don't really do a lot of that.
But the truth is is there is an enemy against your soul.
There is an enemy against your life.
And there is a strategy that that enemy
is trying to work against you ever so subtly
to try to put you off.
And his success is, this is where in the heart work
where Jackie talks about the little foxes,
it's the little foxes that spoil the vine.
It isn't the big stuff that comes at you that's obvious,
like, oh, this is like really, this is demonic.
Like, this is absolutely, like, this is just not right.
Like, this is evil, and this is coming against me.
It's not that stuff that really destroys your life.
It's not that stuff that really puts you so off.
That's very obvious, especially for someone
who's aware as a believer.
You just go, I'm not even falling for that
because that's just ridiculous, right?
It's the little things that just work on you
day by day, moment by moment,
that cause you to believe little lies,
believe this, believe that, get into patterns,
get into thought processes that become then ways
of dealing with things that aren't heavenly,
that aren't of any righteousness or anything.
And so we, you know, had to come to the point
in each of our own selves to where we're like,
we need a reset.
We need a recommitment.
We need like, we did a massive do-over.
Because we were just, it was just go,
it was just, it was just too much.
We couldn't handle all the little things
that were either going wrong
or things that were just not panning out.
We were disillusioned with our own level of discipline,
our own level of like, commitment to our goals.
And of course, this is the time of year
where most people look past, you know,
look in the past and go, how did we do this year?
You're evaluating a lot of things.
You're looking forward to next year.
You're looking forward to some new changes.
This is the other thing,
is that there's a lot of new changes,
a lot of new opportunities,
a lot of exciting things potentially.
As you're coming into another year,
that's going to change.
And you're evaluating those
and you're seeing how unprepared you are for those things
because of all the things you were supposed to
have accomplished this year.
Does that make sense?
Where it's kind of like, man, I hope at the holidays,
I'm supposed to be enjoying the holidays.
I'm supposed to be like, relieving.
I'm supposed to like, just like putting down my work,
putting down my sword, so to speak.
I'm supposed to be like, just relaxing.
Supposed to be taking time off.
I'm supposed to be doing,
but I can't because everything's ramping up
to the end all the way.
And it was extremely stressful.
And so it caused us to really make some dramatic
strides to each other.
And where we were, you know, in the last couple of weeks,
wanting to go away from each other,
we decided to come toward each other.
We decided to face each other,
to lay down our differences,
lay down this, lay down that,
lay down the stressors, take the time.
And we made commitments to each other again.
And I'm sharing this,
I don't know why I'm sharing this with you,
but I'm just sharing this with you
because it's extremely powerful, you know, what happened.
But at the same time, you may look at,
you may look at our situation.
You may look at us as, you know,
like leaders of this, of a movement,
leaders of a group like this,
and think just like a lot of people look at their,
their leaders in work or leaders in church
or leaders in wherever and go,
man, they've got a lot of things going for them.
They've got a light, they've got like a, you know,
a perfect life or whatever.
And that's just not the case for most people
who are actually trying to make something happen,
lead something, initiate something,
pioneer something in the world.
And so I'm just being transparent.
And so anyway, we had an amazing Sunday
in making these recommitments
and making these vows to each other.
And I won't take the time to read them
because they're, you know,
they're just kind of personal and,
and, but they're very powerful.
And they're things that we were,
there were a lot of things
that we had already committed to each other
when we first got married and when we did a vow renewal,
we were at 10 years.
But we didn't, we didn't undo those things.
We didn't make the contract where,
okay, this is new contract.
Everything else is null and void.
You know, we didn't do that.
We said like, yeah, everything we committed to before,
we're committed to that as well.
And we're committing to some new things here as well.
We're committing to some honorable behavior,
some cherishing behavior, some kinder behavior,
some better processing of our words and our times together.
And so God is just doing a work
and I think probably one of the things,
and this might be a strange pivot in this conversation,
but I think one of the things that is so difficult
in the life of a believer is when you're trying
to either make a new commitment
or you're trying to make a change
or you're trying to do better,
that you get excited about the change
because you see the change is necessary.
You see the behavior that is necessary to change.
But at the same time, I don't know about you,
but I get anxiety.
when I'm challenged with something, because what I'm afraid of is, can I do it?
Can I walk it out? Can I fulfill it? And I don't know about you, but I'm like,
I want to make this commitment. I want to, I want to have advancement in my life,
but can I do it? You know? And it's just like, some people are like, oh, all you have to do
is make the commitment and then to rise up to do it. Like, well, that's easier said than done.
Right. Cause it is. And I admire people that are like extremely disciplined and they could just
make up their mind and say, this is what I'm doing. I'm going to do it. And that's, what's
happening. I'm going to go do it. I'm like, dude, that's amazing. Like, I don't know. I don't know
how you do that sometimes in certain things. There's certain things I enjoy doing and I'm
very committed to the things I like to do, but I'm not so committed to the things I don't like to do.
You know, the things that are like, eh, not so much. Some people love to be challenged. Like
they love to be challenged. Some people love to be like, this is a bad word, but like corrected.
Some people love the admonition. You know what I'm saying? Some people like, oh yeah,
just tell me where I'm going wrong. Just tell me what to do. And they love it. They love to like,
put their little list together and put their little things and like, just like, you know,
you know, recreate their behavior and do better. And I just like, I never been one of those things.
I was always that kid. I wasn't a rebellious, bad kid in school. I wasn't, I was that kid that was
very obedient. I dressed nicely. I was a good kid, but I would sit down when the teacher would
tell you to sit down, but I was still standing up on the inside. Anybody like that? Like,
I was compliant on the outside, but on the inside, I'm still like,
yeah, I'm still standing up, you know? Yeah. No, I was compliant. I was non-compliant on
the outside. Okay. So you're the opposite. You're just like, you were just actually truthful.
See, I was lying. I was like compliant, but on the inside, my heart was still
wanting to be like, rebellious in some sort of way, you know? It doesn't serve you well.
I was a rebel against my peers. I was like, I was so much loyal to the teachers that I was
rebellious against my peers, but it's kind of the opposite.
Anybody else like that where you're just like, do you, I mean, resonate,
anybody resonate with like, yeah, that's me. I might, I think you raised your hand.
Yeah. You know, growing up, I didn't have a chance to actually be overly outwardly because of the
environment I grew up in. So I would have to bow to the blows, but you know, inside of me,
I was like, you're not going to break me, you know? And so, so I conform just because of
punishment, not because I, cause I, you know, not inside though.
Yeah. And it's interesting because I feel like in that way that for some reason,
like I had, there were two brothers that I grew up with that my mom was really close friends with
their mom and I wasn't necessarily as close to them, but my, our moms were best friends.
And so we did things a lot together. They went to the same church we did and everything,
but they were two brothers. They were like a year apart. They were almost like twins,
but they were just, they were not twins. And they were like a year apart and they were a little bit
older than me, like one year and two years older than me. And so I was still the little kid and
everything, but they were like athletic and they were just like outwardly, just like whatever.
They were not compliant. I mean, yeah, they were compliant to a degree like civil,
but at the same time, you know, they did bad things and they pushed the envelope and they
broke the rules and they were rude sometimes and so forth. And, and I just never could understand
like, wow, man, how can they do that? You know, like I would, on the outside, I would like,
that's terrible. That's, that's just wrong. I mean, I can't believe that they would just get
in trouble so much. Like getting in trouble was just like a bad thing. You know, it was like the
worst thing, getting in trouble. I was afraid of being in trouble. But at the same time,
on the inside, it was like, man, I wish I could be more like them. Man, I wish I could be like,
I wish I could be more like, I don't know, just do whatever I want. Why did they, they seemed like
they were so free and able, and they were able to just do, say, think, act however they wanted to.
As long as they didn't do it too bad
I mean, you know, they worked within the boundaries of what was like, you know, like what was safe or whatever
And I was just like what in the world is of course, I didn't understand all of this stuff until I was much older
To understand that I
Really was kind of trapped inside, but it took me a long time to kind of figure that out
Took me a long time to process that took me a long time to come to the point where years ago I would say
Lord actually there
There is a streak of rebellion within me. I do not want that. I
Don't want to be in the end. Lots of my prayers guys are not necessarily help me to you know
Do better in this today?
Help me to like, you know think differently about this help me to feel differently about this
My main prayer is Lord in the end
Don't let me be that
Don't let me be
the end result of
Whatever this path I can see is going down
Like
It for instance, this is all I use always use this example like if you're if you
If you'd lied one time and
and
You told a lie
Somebody said you could accuse you of lying
But they wouldn't necessarily maybe call you a liar
You know I'm saying
Someone who is known as a liar is
someone who has a
habitual behavior and
Every time you're around them
There's a lie going forth or there's some sort of deception
you know, so
One lie doesn't make a liar
But many lies and a habitual behavior of that
Eventually you become a liar and so in that way
I'm not necessarily about lying, but it's just a clean example in
That I don't want to be found unfaithful. I don't want to be found
I
Don't want to be found rebellious. I don't want to be found in the end
Not someone whose heart is after the Lord, right?
And I found something this week that was really helpful to me because again
In order to help us
Reframe the idea came across this idea of what is the actual work of the believer?
Does anybody know?
what the primary work of
The believer is
This could be a very tricky sort of opening abide
to abide to abide in the vine
Okay, that's close
Everything of and for the kingdom
I'm sorry, everything what?
Everything of and for the kingdom of God oven for the kingdom. Okay everything. Okay anybody else
What is the primary work if you're looking at like? Hey, I'm a believer and the work that I'm doing is
The most important work that a believer can do
Burn Burke's I find it is is the is the relationship with God himself
From everything else from that point alone. Everything else flows from having relationship. Okay having relationship with God, okay
Anybody else
Let's say the Great Commission
Commission the Great Commission Great Commission. Oh, yeah going out doing the Great Commission. Okay. Yeah
Those are all
really good answers and
They all have to do with the primary work of the believer
Because they stem from this primary work and
in John chapter 6
The disciples asked him said what must we do to do the work or works that God requires
and of course in biblical times we understand that
There was a very
strict
consciousness, especially in the mind of the Jewish believers of
Works, what are the things tell me the things I need to do like I we're all in
We understand who you are
We're in but in order to be clear tell us the works that God requires for us to do
Like, should we knock on so many doors?
Should we heal so many people?
Should we give so much money?
Should we, you know, go out and tell so many people about,
you know, like, line up,
what are the works that we're supposed to do?
And Jesus answered, he said this, he said,
"'The work of God is this,
"'to believe in the one he has sent.'"
The primary work of the believer is to believe.
Now, that may sound simple and very esoteric
and very like, well, kind of out there,
like, well, of course, like, you know, we all believe.
Of course we do believe,
but what you do stems from what you believe,
how you act, how you behave, where you go, what you do,
what you spend your time in,
what you devote your life to,
comes from, everything comes from, what do you believe?
Jesus said it like this, it's not what God can do,
it's not what God will do, it is, what can you believe?
What do you believe?
What do you believe about God?
What do you believe about yourself?
What do you believe about the world around you?
And I'm telling you, I was really encouraged by this
and challenged all at the same time,
because when you put and you understand
that the primary work of the believer is to believe,
my prayer doesn't become,
God, help me to do things differently,
help me to do things better,
help me to do the right thing,
help me to, you know, say the right things,
help me to behave, it has nothing to do with that.
It has everything to do with what do I believe?
Who do I believe I am?
And so my prayer becomes, Holy Spirit, show me who I am,
show me who God is, show me the truth, so that I may see,
so that when I see, I will believe.
And I don't have to see physically is what I'm saying,
but I'm seeing spiritually, seeing supernaturally,
so that I will believe,
and from the position of what I believe,
will stem my behavior, my life, my desires,
my endeavors, the goals of my life,
will stem from what it is I believe.
And I'm having trouble, I've had trouble for a long time,
just understanding who am I, what am I doing?
You know, so many people are,
I feel like are so more well-defined in who they are,
like, so-and-so is this, and they're this,
you know, like a short bio, like, who is this person?
Da-da, this person is a da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da,
and usually has to do with what they've accomplished.
They're an author, they're a speaker,
they're a business person, they're, you know,
they're, you know, putting your job, title,
that's not who you are, that's what you've done, you know?
So the work of the believer is to work out
and work through, what do you believe?
What do you believe about yourself?
What do you believe about the world around you?
What do you believe about God?
And from those things, you will begin to have your behavior,
have your life, have your being in that direction of belief.
And, you know, we'll center our lives as believers
lots of times around religious rituals, acts of service,
moral perfection, like, oh, just be better morally,
you know, just be nicer to people, be kinder to people.
Well, that's hard.
When people are out there being complete jerks
and, you know, doing a bunch of crap in this world
and treating you like whatever
and whatever life's handing you at the moment,
that's not easy.
I'm like, I'm not trying to be working on myself
and working on my moral perfection.
I'm not trying to work on having more acts of service
in my life.
I'm not trying to do more religious ritual,
trying to like attend church more, you know, do all this.
I'm not trying to do that.
I'm literally trying to believe.
I'm literally trying to increase my understanding of Him.
And of course, this speaks to relationship.
This speaks to all the things that you guys mentioned
in your answers as far.
or as what is the primary work,
I'm just trying to illuminate to you
that all the things you said were correct,
but the initial primary,
the core work of the believer is for you to believe.
And many of you might say,
oh, well, I believe the Lord, I believe God.
Really?
What are the areas in your life
where you're not believing God?
Because trust me, there are areas.
If you were really honest
and you were really challenging yourself
and you were really coming down to it,
you're like, yeah, I struggle in my trust
and my belief in God in this area
for this thing or for whatever.
So it's like, do you really believe God?
And I'm not challenging you for the sake of challenging you.
I'm illuminating the fact that your belief
is the most important thing to work on.
What do you believe?
And believing the right things, the righteous things,
so that from that position of belief,
all of your activity, all of your behavior,
all of your mindset, all of your doings
come from that position of belief.
Like you know who you are.
Like the strongest person
is the person who knows who they are.
The strongest person in terms of how they're operating
is a person who truly believes in the face of everything,
this is who I am.
This is why some people that are disciplined are disciplined.
Why?
Not because they're disciplined,
but because they believe that they're a disciplined person.
Like I have no problem believing in discipline.
I've done this before.
I've done this a million times.
I'm very good at it.
I believe that.
Like nobody can change my mind on that.
That's a position of belief.
And so I guess what I'm trying to say,
if there's anything to work on
in terms of trying to tally up what you've done
or what you're doing better or whatever,
or trying to do it numerically
or trying to do it like in the like,
this helps me because I don't know if this helps any of you,
but this helps me take the pressure off me to like do things
just for the sake of doing things.
Because I will never be able to do all the things.
I just won't.
I just know me.
But if I believe something, if I'm convinced of something,
this is another thing, conviction.
I'm convinced that this is so, that I am this,
that the Lord is this way.
I've said it before that faith is the substance
of things hope for as scripture says,
but faith is simply knowing God.
When you know God and you know his character
and you know what he does and you know what he is about
and you know what he won't do and what he will do
and how he operates, you have a greater level of faith
in knowing what the outcome's gonna be.
Because you're in alignment with like,
okay, I have faith that in this situation,
I can change the situation because the things
that are seen are subject to change
as a result of applying your faith and faith being what?
Faith being, you know God, you know his attributes,
you know how he feels about this,
you know how he operates in this way.
You know that healing is a fact because God is a healer.
And so therefore, when you need healing,
it's not about what any doctor would say
or what the circumstance says
or what you feel like in your body,
it matters that God is a healer and I know that,
there's no way that you can convince me otherwise.
And my belief, my understanding of that and knowing God,
my faith becomes an operation,
but it's all predicated on what I believe.
So the question today is, what do you believe?
What do you believe about like,
it's easy to answer the question,
what you believe on the things that's going well
in your life.
But if you look at the places in your life
that are not going well, that you're unhappy with,
you're dissatisfied with, or you're like, I want more,
the question is, what do you believe about that situation?
Do you believe that you're worthy of increase?
Do you believe that you're viable?
Candidate for relationship, do you believe that there is someone for you?
Do you believe that?
If you did, you would be coming from a different mindset and going towards that in your behavior.
That is not a criticism.
That is just a matter of fact.
Have you ever heard of the phrase that people do what they want?
That is very tied and very intrinsic of that idea of belief.
People are in the way they are because they want to be.
People don't like that truth, but we are where we are because this is where we want
to be.
And you're like, oh, well, I'm unhealthy and overweight.
Yes, because you want to be.
And that's really rude, and that's terrible to say, and it's just like, oh my gosh, that's
like, you know, how could you say that?
But the truth is this, is that that person believes what they believe about themselves.
They do what they do, and it has resulted in this condition.
And so the truth of all of the things in our lives, it's not an indictment.
I mean, it kind of sort of is, but it's not trying to be mean.
It's not trying to be rude or crude.
It's just trying to be honest.
Love that.
Thank you, Mike.
Without faith, it's impossible to please him.
That's so true.
It all comes down to what the end, look at the end.
The end is the most for he who comes to God must believe.
Yes, exactly.
That was the scripture that I was thinking of prior to getting into this message, which
was it comes to God must believe that he is.
So we all are there.
We all believe that God is.
We all believe in God, right?
But what's the next thing?
It's like, OK, we believe in God.
That's cool.
But what about God do we believe in?
What about God do we believe in for ourselves?
What about God do we believe that he's done in us and through us and for us that we can
believe in ourselves to see that come to fruition in our lives?
You see, the whole flow of it comes down from believing in God, believing who God is, and
then believing who God is in and through us.
That's how the whole thing comes down.
So we can talk about behavior.
We can talk about changing our mindset.
We can talk about new patterns of like, I'm going to do this and I'm going to organize
this.
You can try it.
You can talk about new, you know, tricks to the trade.
You can talk about all sorts of things to improve your life.
But it all comes down to initially very from the beginning.
What do you believe?
If you, it's, you know, I always try to make simple examples.
If you don't believe that you can make a certain dollar amount more in a year, that's why certain
people never break the ceiling of like a certain number, because they in and of themselves
and I'm not trying to be mean, like I didn't know that I could make as much as I make now
versus many years ago, because I'd never done it before.
I never experienced it.
I never quite believed.
Now there was a moment and when we started a business about seven, eight years ago, there
was a moment that I finally saw somebody else and somebody else's testimony and what they
had done.
And it's not, wasn't the first time I'd heard a testimony like that.
It was multiple times and it took me some time to get to believe that, but it pissed
me off.
I was like, are you freaking kidding me?
That guy did that.
Like okay, I'm done.
Like that's it.
I can do this.
And it was at that moment I actually believed, I said, you know what, I could do that.
I could actually make more in one month than I've ever made in one year in my life.
And it was from that moment of like a, just a kernel of belief that we began to do more
than we've ever done before in our lives.
So it was a, it was a transformational moment.
It was a pivoting moment.
It was a, it was a paradigm shift, right?
This is what we're looking for guys in our life.
We're looking for where's the paradigm shift.
Here's the moment that we began to believe that this was possible, that change was possible,
that relationship was possible.
was possible that whatever it is that you're after whatever it is that the
desire of your heart for like you to be you know and we can talk about
accomplishments I think probably the greater thing is for you to step into
like a greater understanding of belief of who you are I think that's like a
greater way to go about it I mean just one thing to accomplish things like I
did this and I did that and I accomplished this this year that's cool
but I think sometimes it's greater for you to have an understanding of like who
you are you know in terms of like your purpose for being here on this earth and
that's like I know that's a big question but from that point with the better you
understand that the more you start to behave like authentically the more you
start to believe to to to to act out of your true nature your true self your
true identity so belief is you know very closely tied to your identity and it
starts with like like the scripture says it starts with believing him and that he
is and then he is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him and so the first
thing on my list to on my covenant is I covenant to see God in his wisdom and
prioritizing his presence because it's in his presence that I begin to
understand what I believe I can have a clarity of thought so I have to
prioritize his presence I have to prioritize prayer I have to prioritize
that relationship because my prayer the other night when I was just like seeking
the Lord was Lord I believe you I I believe you and I was making that a
confession but I was also saying it as from a truth standpoint I believe in you
I trust you I like why would I go about trying to trust everything else that's
failed me and not put my belief in the one who's never failed you know I'm
saying we know that to be true because we like he never fails he's perfect you
know all this kind of stuff I'm like that's cool you know but we like miss
the we miss the juice of that because like oh wait a minute I'm putting my
trust and my faith and I'm putting my sort of my confidence and the things
that have failed me time and time again you know like the definition of crazy
doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results why wouldn't
I just put my trust in the one who's never failed why wouldn't I put my trust
in the one who's never left me and the thing about it is is I know that to be
true but someone else may not necessarily know that about God so they
have to learn that lesson first they have to learn the truth of he never he
never left you he never forsake you he never abandoned you yeah but I feel
abandoned all my family did yeah I know but God didn't and then they have that
moment where they're like oh my god like where they finally opened themselves I
said you know at first I was saying I believe you Lord as a way of like trying
to confess that but then it became a reality because there was this
transformation that happened that God revealed himself to that person and
showed them I never left you other people may have abandoned you and you
may have equated that with me leaving you in your life because you equated
there was such goodness in that person or that experience or that thing or that
thing that you were there were pushed out of but God never left you God never
abandoned you God never lets you just be out on there on your own and say good
luck hope you do well see you in heaven that's not the nature of God that is not
like so so like the work when you talk about what is the work what must I do
this is the question the disciples are asking Jesus what must I do the the work
that you must do is to believe in the one he has sent believe in Jesus believe
in his work on the cross believe in God the Father believe in like take him at
his word when he says I am love believe him and then when the things that are in
your life are not congruent with that
situation
You call it out
They say this is this this does not look like love
God you said you were love. I need the love
This does not look like healing God. You said you were the healer. I need the healing
You said Lord that you were
the provider
That you will provide all my needs according to your riches and glory. This does not look like provision. I need provision
I
Need you to show me
How this works so that I can continue the work of believing in you?
and
from that all of the other stuff begins to be made right and
That is the work
So we can work on ourselves
You can work on doing better you can work on making more you can work on like trying to be nicer
You can do all that
but the greater thing would be
Work on what you believe
Like challenge yourself
Man, what do I believe? What do I truly believe about this situation? What do I truly believe about myself?
What do I truly believe about what I'm going through right now? What do I believe and
Don't be afraid of the wrong answer
That is the most believing part is when you confess I am believing a lie I
Am believing this about this situation
But I know the word or I know somebody's told me that that isn't the way God does things
So therefore I need to work on my belief
Because I need to believe it differently
And that my friends is
a revelation that God has been giving me this week and
through this difficult time because I
Don't want to believe any more lies
About myself. I don't want to believe any more lies about my relationships. I don't want to believe any more lies about
What's going on around me? I
Don't want to believe any more lies about what I can or can't do. I don't want to believe any more lies about
my future
You know, I
I want things to be different not because I just did better
I'm only going to do better based on what I believe
I'm only going to have increase or have change or have
A better life because I've just believed something now that I didn't believe before
That is the power that is the work of the believer
Is to believe
And so
When things are going a little like you encounter something like yeah
That's not right. I'm
That's not right
I'm something i'm not believing correctly about this situation
There's i'm just not
Not processing this right? So lord
What does it say?
Help thou my what?
Unbelief
Jesus literally is praying for you
That you will believe
and not
unbelieve
That's the prayer scripture says lord help thou my unbelief
I obviously am not seeing this
Right. I am not seeing this correctly. There's something that i'm missing. I must not be leaving this believing the right thing. So
Change change me. I believe you. I trust you. I believe you let that be your prayer
As he begins to then show and reveal
Like oh, no, it's this way
It's it's really not that way like you were thinking this way. No, it's not like that way at all
It's like this
You're like whoa
That is that's life-changing that's different I did not know that I did not understand that I was not convinced of that until this moment
And now I am
And i'm going to continue in that work to believe
Because I want things to be different
Mike you've got your hand raised
Go ahead bro, yeah, I I just um, like one of the things that I can tell when I don't have
I'm not believing something is when I want to take over in my strength
Yes, like, you know, like I go in and i'm like lord, you know, like I got this, you know
and it goes terribly right because you know, like
You know, it's like but you know
I think one of my questions is always like lord
What lie am I believing and one of the main ones and it's the first one is that the lord's holding out on me?
Right, like, you know, like, oh, wow, like that. He's holding. I mean, like that. He's not good and he's holding out on me
Yeah, and I did a thing last Sunday in San Francisco that I knew I was made to do and you know
The little foxes. I just want to take it back to the little foxes things
I'm walking up the steps of San Francisco City Hall and the little foxes are running rampant in my mind
Wow, like my anxiety level is going through the roof, right? And I knew I was supposed to do this
I knew I was supposed to walk into this thing and
And you know, but I didn't believe you know what it came down to my belief was that I wasn't worthy
That I wasn't to do that, right?
So actually I learned like and then I and then after I got through this whole wrestling match with myself
You know, it was five and a half hours of crushing it, right?
But it showed me the belief that I didn't fully believe that I was worthy or that I could do it
Even and you know, but then I but you know, I I think a lot of times that's our beliefs or I mean immediately was tested
Right, like, you know, put up or shut. I like you do you really believe what you believe?
And it was like and I didn't walk it up those steps
Yeah, but then once I like settled in I was like, no, this is what I'm made to do
So I guess I just want to like you guys it I try to keep it simple
It's like Lord, what lie am I believing?
Like what I I tell him a lot of times like Lord, I'm not feeling like you're I don't feel your love here
I don't feel I do. I don't feel like you I know you're a provider, but I'm really not feeling it
I really not seeing it. I'm not and I just have honest conversations
So yeah, just if you're grabbing on to something it's probably because you're believing that he's not good
Yeah
Yeah, no, I I can I can imagine myself in many situations
Where I'm not
Feeling right. I'm not feeling like I'm doing good, right and
I'm having a bad bad mindset. I'm having
Whatever I'm dealing with and I want to like dig down inside of me to bring out a fix in that
Like why can't I like the first question is why can I do this? Why can I why am I this way?
Why am I you know, you're asking myself this question
You know, so I'm looking within me to find the reason that it's wrong as
opposed to
like what Mike is saying like
Asking what is it that I'm what is it? I'm believing that needs to change
So that I can be the change in this situation
So it takes the pressure off me, I don't know I don't know about you
Guys, but I just you know, like the all the works thing is like hard
I don't like it. Like some people are like just totally like driven by that like, oh, yeah
I'll just like work the crap out of it. I'll just do this and I'll do that and like they love it
I just I hate it. I cannot deal with religion. I just and I
Been religious a lot of my life
I'm not saying you know
It's like that's like me
Like you got to do this and you got to do that and like just stop it with the doing I'm not gonna do it
Even if you tell me even if I know that it's right. I'm not gonna do it. I'm just not
Because why because you're telling me to do it. Remember I'm rebellious on the inside. I don't want to do it
Frickin stop telling me to do better
Because I'm not gonna do it
It's not until I convinced of something that is true that I'm able to go, you know what
That actually is true. Like that is just that's the better way to do it
That's what I'm gonna do. It is when I believe it
Does that make sense?
Hey, I think Abraham's feeling Abrams feeling me
that last thing you said kind of um rings true for me like right now because I'm kind of like
One of the words that a word that I got through the prophecy night
Was that I'm hiding
yeah, I think that's kind of true because I really am like I just don't go out and
mingle with people even
It's like, you know at this point it's like even if I want to go
and
Have community like I don't even know where to go anymore
So it's like
Yeah
You're muted
So sorry about that I said you're talking I was Jackie's calling me she's like, hey, I need to talk to you
So I need to go talk to you because this is what I experienced
my wife, but the scripture that comes to mind Romans 12 to
When you used to look up and over anything
Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world
and you'd hear a bad child
But what be transformed by the renewing of your mind?
Or hear something that wasn't as scary as you or something
If you renew the mind you renew what it is that you believe
you don't end up being conformed to the pattern of this world and
The pattern of this world isn't just sin
It's everything the pattern of this world sin is the precipitation of the wrong thinking you understand that right?
You understand that everything in this world everything. It's the patterns of this world
government business
you know like
Society social things all the stuff. It's all corrupt. You understand that right?
It's just all corrupt our food supply. I mean like people like highlight things are all food supply scrub
Yeah, well everything's corrupt like it doesn't matter like I don't know what you're thinking, but it's like everything's corrupt
Like there isn't anything that's just like oh now. This is that's a so the beacon of righteousness
No, and most of our churches the corrupt. It's ridiculous to think that anything has any sense of
Authentic like the only thing that is true is God
In the life of a person who is letting God that is the only thing that's true
And that's what that's actually really powerful
Because we want to put our faith right again talking about belief. We want to put our faith and our trust in things
That don't have the ability to stand up to the level of righteousness that we're trying to put on it
We're trying to put faith in an institution or some sort of thing or some sort of person or some sort of process
or some sort of
right and
It's just ridiculous because it's like there isn't anything out there. That's going to match
the authenticity of
Heaven
It's just not so why are we trying to do that?
You live through life, and you go okay?
This is what I've got to deal with and then I'm trying to do the best
I can trying to vote the best I can I'm trying to operate the best I can I'm trying to like work in the
Best way I can
But from me I have to operate from a position of who am I and who is God in me and
That is the only way we're going to not only survive, but be successful in our life
period and
That's it
All right, so I'm gonna wrap it up there guys because it we're over and I got to go
My wife is like I love you, but I need you so I
will
Abandon you and I will go see her. Love you guys. God bless you. Merry Christmas to you all