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e you know I tell people all the time it's so interesting that I don't know if this is the

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same for y'all but as we age it seems like it shouldn't be this way because Jesus is the reason

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for the season but the other part of Christmas just kind of loses its with me so it's like

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yes Christmas Eve but it's not like it was when I guess was younger um so I don't know

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uh anybody else have that if you you know that thought I know you have children it kind of keeps

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it alive for them um but us ladies in our family we spend Christmas Eve cooking the children spend

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Christmas Eve being excited that Christmas is tomorrow and then I'm sitting thinking

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Christmas has come and gone like how did it do that it's like it's been a whole year it's come

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and gone anybody agrees oh man and so anyway I have a few notes to get us rolling is that

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I think I know everybody here even if I don't say your name right so I don't believe we have anyone

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new if we do say me and then I'll welcome you um and all you guys know me and so I have some

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notes on my phone that I need to share because they're not on the notes that I printed out and

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somehow I closed them but hello everyone I'm opening them we want to remind you guys about

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prophesy your year that's coming up and so I have that exact date right here

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for you guys so that you can remember all right so the emails have been sent out for prophesy

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your year if you did not get your email let's say you signed up you didn't get your email check your

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spam and if there's still a problem you want to just submit an email if you didn't get what you

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needed for prophesy your year you want to remember that that is a $50 session hey Marie

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um and uh that's the cost for it's a special session but you would have had to watch Bethany's

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Hicks session about prophecy prior which is a free session it's on replay so go ahead and grab

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that because that's gonna that's a prerequisite it prepares you for prophesy your year which is

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an amazing event which I encourage all of you guys to do that session to prophesy your year

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if you've never done it before let's say you may be thinking I don't know nothing about prophecy

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I don't do that's why you watch the prerequisite video before that um God is always speaking he's

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always saying something the Bible says that his thoughts toward us are more than the sand of the

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seashore and so he is always saying something and he loves when we partner with him to see the

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kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven starting with our life he's looking for partners in the

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earth and you're it not your pastor not not not the intercessor not the evangelist not you

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you're his partners we're his agents in the earth to see his kingdom come and so he loves

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to partner with us I'm just adding this is not even on the notes my sister and I for the last

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three years maybe even four we get together at the end of every month to for the next month

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the Lord told us to do this years ago and what we do is we pray we worship and we share what

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we hear the Lord saying he told us to partner with him every month for what he wants to do

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that month and so we just listen to see what Evan is saying whatever we think he's saying and we

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write it down and we keep that at the front of our minds as we go through the month we also we

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just switch it up to different scripture readings but we will she'll take the first 15 days of the

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month I'll take the last 15 days of the month and we'll get a prophetic word for each day of the

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each day of the week and so it was always like this tree like what was the word for today

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that's exactly what happened and so it's just that being in sync with the Lord and

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knowing that this month he wants to do this and looking for it right so this month he wants to

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more I don't know more of uh resilience in me when tough times when things hard things come

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I won't thank oh poor me I'm just having a rough time this month but I already heard from heaven

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that he wants to be a resilience in me and so when it comes I'm partnering with it I'm like bring it

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on I'm looking for a challenge I'm looking for a task because the Lord is building something in me

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right and so that is the advantage we get when we know what heaven wants to do because we get to

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partner with it and we no longer become victims but we go looking for something to conquer

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so that's exciting jump on that um don't forget to check your resource tab for the

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um the trip that's coming up oh how I wish that I could go on the trip that's coming up

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but if you can go I think you should definitely go for it and all the details are in that link

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and please remember you guys not to create posts

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to from or links and post them from ministers, speakers, influencers, pastors that are not

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within our network because they've not been vetted and we deem that not safe for the community

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and we want everyone to be safe. Okay for those of you coming in whom I've never met before you're

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probably usually on One O'Clock with Carla. You are not in the wrong place Elizabeth and Marie.

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I am here Audrey. I am here in her stead so we swapped. She has children on this Christmas Eve

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and so I don't and so it is more advantageous for her to get to enjoy or do all the things

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that you have to do when you have a demanding family and so all the joys of being a single

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woman. I get to flow how I want to and that's what I'm telling you. Enjoy your last year's single.

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Yeah and I think those are all the notes. If you guys haven't had a chance to connect with women

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so nice to meet you too Audrey. Between I don't think so but are any of you guys

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new that I don't know like this is your first time in a phase two coaching session?

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No cool cool cool. Don't forget to connect with women in the community.

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Community is powerful. I think I've said this and I will sing this song. I have community for

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every single area of my life. I do nothing alone. I do mean nothing. I do not seek the Lord on my

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own like I have my own time. My own time that I cultivate but I have a community of people who

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do that with me. Me and my sister we meet. We get together. We worship monthly. We pray monthly. I

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have a church community. I have people there. I have people I do intercession with. I have

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intercessory teams that I'm a part of. I have people that I do my health with. We talk about

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what we're eating, why we eat it, what's happening with that. We don't talk about diet but we talk

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about how to build a healthy temple and we celebrate each other. I have people that I talk

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about. I don't know. Everything with my health, my emotional, every part of me has an assigned

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community and a lot of them don't even cross over to other parts. Like they're just today and so I

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have developed an eye along with the Holy Spirit to seek out those people who carry what I need

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and when I get around them I submit myself and I soak it up like a sponge because I don't know

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how long I'll have them in my life and so I take advantage of every moment I get to get the goal

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they have and it doesn't even matter to me if the rest of some part of their life is jacked up. It

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ain't got nothing to do with me. I know what they do do well and they do business well and they got

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something that I don't have and I need it and so I don't care if they're in my face. I don't care if

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I got to go find them through a mentorship program. I'm in a business mentorship program.

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Wherever I got to go to get what I need, I do it because the people in the earth carry what we need.

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Anything that's ever had to be done on the earth, the Lord sent a baby. Anything. Look around you.

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Anything that ever needed to be done, he sent a baby and a baby is a person and the people

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carry the treasures. The Bible says what is this? This hidden treasure in earthen vessels.

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We carry the fullness of Christ Jesus in an earthen vessel. All his majesty, all his holiness, all his

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righteousness, all his goodness, all of his healing, his creativity is in our earthen vessel.

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A vessel made of dirt and each and every one of us carries that. So it's amazing. People are amazing.

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No matter the struggles we've had with people, they are amazing. Gold lives on the inside of each

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and every one of you and you are amazing. Nobody has told you that lately. You are amazing and you

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carry what the world needs because if you didn't have it, you wouldn't be here.

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Okay. So yay, we got that out of the way. Y'all know I don't necessarily prefer a quiet house.

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So I teach third grade and so my kids are always doing this if they agree. I like smiles. I like

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comments. You can post whatever you need to in the comment section. This week we're going to be

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talking about boundaries. Yay boundaries. Boundaries are our friends and we know that if

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you listen to, I listened to the teaching just recently, which was really, really good. If you've

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been in a session and we talked about boundaries, we're just going to touch on it again. You don't,

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if you haven't watched it, go watch it. Watching more than once, there was a study done that said

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in order for us to retain things, we need to read it at least 70 times. Like to grasp everything

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that's in it. I can attest to that. I have watched the same videos over and over. And every time I'm

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like, that's so right. I didn't even know she said that. Let me tell you something. I've been listening

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to Jackie.

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his hard work again.

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And I'm like, golly, this is why I fell in love with him.

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This is some good stuff.

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And it just never gets old.

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Because it's such a journey that you

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needed to be on repeat over and over and over and over.

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Because when you are, let me tell you something,

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when you are breaking up the foundation of your life,

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you know you ever seen somebody with concrete

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and they have those big jack iron things

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and they keep drilling in the ground, drilling in the ground?

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Now, as powerful as those things are,

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they do not break up the concrete on the first time.

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No.

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Those people stand there with those jack hammers

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or whatever they call.

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And they bounce through the concrete

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over and over and over and over and over and over

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until they break through.

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That's no different than the concrete of our lives.

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All of us have a foundation.

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And it got cracks in it and holes in it.

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And that's a good thing right now.

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Because we need them cracks give us

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access to get in there and switch some stuff around,

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right?

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But when we get done, there's a solid foundation.

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And that's what we want.

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That's my arm time out.

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Yeah, it's like a.

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Look, I'm not really good at this.

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Is it a six piece or an eight piece?

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How would you like?

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How would you like me to do a side by side?

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OK, I'll do the eight.

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And then I'll do the larger order of the fried mac

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and cheese bites.

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But those do fried mac and cheese bites sound really good.

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I'm like, listen, not to get off topic,

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because I can stay there.

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I told my mom, I was like, look, I

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know I said I was going to do sweet potato pies.

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We're going to do some buttermilk pies.

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We're going to do that brown sugar caramel cake.

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But let's just not do it.

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Because I haven't come up with a plan

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of how I'm going to stop myself from eating it

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once I get started.

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And because of that, if you don't have to have sugar,

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I don't either.

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She agree, y'all.

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Yeah, five piece tinder, please.

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Five piece tinder me.

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She agree.

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And I'm like, yes, we're going to not have sugar for Christmas.

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Because it just ain't working out.

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I'm like, I know my muscles.

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I know my strength.

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And that ain't it.

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I don't even bring ice cream in my house.

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I go get a small bag of chips and eat it outside the door.

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I'm like, I'm not going to bring a trap to me now.

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I may make a mistake and walk into some.

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But come and put it in my house, I

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don't put the enemy in my camp.

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I know me.

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And I know my strength.

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And I work with where I am.

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Anyway, so it just keeps getting better, you guys.

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So don't feel like we've left the hard work stage

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and we're just going to leave it where it's at.

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Because so much of when you're dating, this phase two,

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it comes into play.

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And boundaries is a part of hard work.

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It is so tied into the hard work.

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We set boundaries on what we believe

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is worthy of protecting and keeping.

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And if y'all remember, Jackie said that.

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In the hard work session, she said we put locks on everything.

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We put passwords on everything.

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Why do we do that?

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Because we believe that it is valuable.

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Well, what does a lock and a password

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look like when you're in phase two and you're dating?

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What does a lock look like when you're not just in life?

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It looks like a boundary.

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It says, what's over here is valuable.

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It is worthy.

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I have deemed it that.

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Who gave it that worth?

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I gave it its worth.

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I said so.

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And so I'm going to put a fence around it.

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I'm not going to build walls because we

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know that thieves climb walls and they take the goods.

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But I am going to put a fence around it with a gate or door

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that I determine what comes in and what goes out.

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And that's when you, boundaries is

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one of the things that make you feel the most powerful.

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Though they are challenging, they are very challenging,

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you feel powerful.

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You really have the sense of, I made a decision for myself

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and I'm sticking with it.

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And this is the way it's going to go.

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And I don't care what it costs me or what it costs you,

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but this is the way it's going to be because this

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is what's best for me.

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And it's not out of fear.

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You have no fear.

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That shows you how powerful you are because you're not even

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operating out of fear.

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For once in your life, you've made a powerful decision

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that I am valuable, my time is valuable,

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and I will not waste either of these things

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away for not even myself.

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Because boundaries protect us first.

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It's about us first.

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So not even I get an opportunity to waste myself away.

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And that's the power that we get when we set boundaries.

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And so we're going to start protecting and guarding

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those things that are most valuable to us starting with us.

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And we do that with boundaries.

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Now, some thoughts that I had, and I made some notes

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about this, you guys.

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And we're going to do this together.

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We're going to do this together, and then

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we're going to do some coaching with whatever issues may have.

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There are three areas that we talk about.

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And if you guys, you've never done a night one with me.

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Coaching sessions are not just for people who are.

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You're in this program to build you.

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The greatest thing that I got from this program was me.

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I am telling you right now,

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the greatest investment in my life is me.

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And this program gave me me.

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And because I have me, I don't lose.

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I win, I grow in strength.

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I am amazing.

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Not because I flatter myself with my words,

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because this gave me me.

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And when you got you, everything else is easy.

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And so what I'm saying is,

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this program is about the whole woman.

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It's about building you.

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So I may relate some things to dating,

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but it doesn't mean that you don't need to bring

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to the table you and wherever you are on your journey.

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This is just so clear that, right?

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So what we're gonna do is we know that there are three areas

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that we tell you in phase two dating,

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that we say, hey,

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these are the boundaries you need to operate by.

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One of those dating,

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one of those boundaries is when we say,

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hey, when you start dating someone,

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you get online dating,

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or you talk to them first time,

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you go on your first date,

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let's not go too deep.

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That's not wise.

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That's called a boundary.

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Why do we say that boundary?

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So some of us say, I am a really deep person

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and I just can't help myself.

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I just go really deep.

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Well, it's not a matter if you're a deep person or not.

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We're talking about a boundary that best serves you

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when you're dating someone that you do not know.

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So we have to separate it from ourselves and say,

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oh, this is how you do relationship well.

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They just gave me a tool to how you do dating well.

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I guess I can sit my deep self to the side

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and actually practice a healthy dating process.

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Because although I may be deep,

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the deepness of me is reserved.

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The rivers that flow from me are reserved for those

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who have come and deemed themselves worthy

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to sit at the table with me and enjoy that part of me.

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The Bible says, we don't spill our pearls before swine,

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for they may trample over it.

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And so that's what a lot of times

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when we start spilling all our pearls

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before the swine, thank you, Katie,

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they trample over it.

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We've spilled our hearts out in one week.

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We think we about to, we so excited.

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We done made it to week two,

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we only realized we only been knowing this person two weeks.

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And then they ghost us and we're heartbroken.

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Why?

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Because we've spilled our pearls before swine,

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but it doesn't have to be that way.

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Boundaries guard you from what you used to get in the past.

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Boundaries guard you from what they hurt

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and rejection you will feel.

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There's a difference from when a person ghost you

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and you didn't pour out all of your wisdom

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and all of your knowledge and all of your heart

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and all of your history and all of your past

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and all of your brokenness.

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There's a difference when they ghost you.

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You with me, Elizabeth?

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I see you.

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It is a difference because you didn't give up nothing.

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You didn't pour out all of you.

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I read this article and it's so interesting.

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They said that when a woman meets a man,

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she talks about him the first day to her friends,

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all day long, she thinks about him.

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Next day, she talks about him, talking about a friend.

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What'd you think about this?

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Oh, he work here.

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And what'd you think about this?

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I know, and he said he do this.

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And he did this, now this, she just on day two.

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She talk about him Sunday to Sunday.

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Next day, yeah, and I think, oh, I was wondering.

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Now, if he lived there and we, I could do that.

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You know, I could really do that because this thing,

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we just on day two now.

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Day three, she wake up, she do the same thing back over.

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Day four, she do the same thing back over.

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I know, I know it's the truth.

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And then day five, we, okay, girl,

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we going on a coffee date.

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This is what I'm wearing.

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This is what I'm gonna do.

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And then he said, we're gonna see how it go.

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She gets to the table.

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He say something she likes.

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She said, here you go.

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She put her heart in her hands and she said,

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I have something for you.

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Here you go.

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It is the most valuable and treasurable thing I have.

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And I want you to have it.

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And we don't know we do that,

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but guess what we do when we sit down to the table

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with a stranger, we think we know them

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because we spent so much time fantasizing about them.

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And we say, here you go.

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I got something.

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The nature of a woman is to go deep

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and to give the greatest and the best that she has.

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That's your DNA.

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And because it is your DNA, you know that about yourself.

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You're not just a deep, you're a woman.

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And so we have to put boundaries in place

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and to guard ourselves and say,

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this is what you do in this phase.

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This is what I'm going through.

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to do. I treasure and value me. I do not want the outcomes that I've had in the past,

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so I am going to try it this way. And let's just see what happens.

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And so boundaries protect us. They guard us. It's called wisdom. And we implement those things,

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right? And so I'm not a beat a dare horse, but I think that you ladies are with me.

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Boundaries save us so much. So it literally changes the outcome for us.

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It changes the outcome. And then we bounce and we keep rolling. And it's like,

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and so we know we have boundaries in dating. We say we don't spend more than 45 minutes

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on that first call. I don't care how good it get. That's a boundary. I want you guys,

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when we're talking about boundaries today, I want you to start jotting down what boundary

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you want to adopt into your life. Because even though we share them with you and you've been

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taught on them, it's only the things that you take on for yourself that you're going to actually

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implement in your life. How do I know? Because I've gone through the same program that you've

364
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gone through. I went on the same dates you went on. And I'm deep and I will talk. I used to have

365
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men. I am not lying. Two of them in particular. We sat down for breakfast at first watch.

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This man, I didn't even realize where it happened because I do inner healing at my church too. And

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so I have a lot of practice with people over time. He's sitting there crying about a mama wound.

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And I was like, what the heck if I just done? And so he made one come in about, yeah, my mom's

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the muscle. Hmm. That muscle was really tough growing up. If this is something. And it just

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went on and on and on. And this is a 45 minute day turned into two hour day.

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Even though I had all the training that you had, I did it.

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I did it and I learned from it. And so that's why we don't say I messed up. No, you grow capacity.

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Look what I'm sharing with you now from the capacity I gained from what I did. And so I was

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like, and so I continue. Yes. Thank you. I just stand with me. We know we learned so well. Um,

375
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I, I continued getting to know him, but by the time we were like in week two, he just hit me.

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You think, you know, everything. And I was like, Oh Lord. But what happened was on day one,

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I was in this boy. If we picture in a house, we ran with first watch. So I was already in his

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bedroom when I should have been on his porch or I should have been at his driveway. He had brought

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me into the most intimate places of his life. Yes. I will suggest you're putting a timer on

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your phone. I will suggest telling yourself like when I hear this and don't time it at 45 minutes,

381
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timing at 35 minutes to give yourself 10 minutes to wrap it. Y'all know how we are.

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I really have wanted to say this and I really, you know, but time yourself, get closer to that

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45 minutes as you can. But listen, this man had led me into the most intimate parts of his life.

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And I think he realized that he didn't even know me and he didn't know how to get me out of there.

385
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And I didn't know how to get me out of there. And my sister was like, look, you need to stop this

386
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stuff. You're not no therapist. You're trying to, trying to get these people healthy. I didn't even

387
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realize what I was doing, but it was everything the program told me not to do. And I naturally

388
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sat down and did it because I'm like, I'm just being me. Oh, well you got to stop being you.

389
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If you want a date, whoever you've identified yourself as it's okay. But we got to shape you

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with boundaries. We got to shape it. I got to do something with that. There's nothing wrong with

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you. It's just not right now. Not right here. Let your husband enjoy the deep rivers of wisdom that

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live on the inside of you. Right? Let your, let your family members, let those people you already

393
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know that you have investment with who takes your voice as a voice of authority. Let them enjoy

394
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what they know to be true. This man that you're meeting for the first time does not,

395
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don't have to be privy to that. You don't know them, but there are people in your life who do

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know you, who value the wisdom that you carry and they will not trample it. Okay. So we know that's

397
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one. We know that's one. So we want to keep our time to 45 minutes. This is a boundary. Another

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boundary. And so when you cross that boundary, you look up, oh, it's a how long, 10 minutes.

399
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Let's just say, Hey, you know, how do I get out of this? It's going so good. Hey, I told myself

400
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that we were going to keep this date sweet and short. And I want to keep it that way so that

401
00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:41.920
if we get an opportunity to do this again, um, we can grow and know each other more. No need to

402
00:24:41.920 --> 00:24:47.280
spill it all on the first date. So you have been a pleasure. We're going to wrap it up right now.

403
00:24:48.320 --> 00:24:53.680
I have learned. Okay. An hour, Camila. Yeah, that's cool. Go with the hour. I, you know,

404
00:24:53.680 --> 00:24:58.640
I hear 45 minutes, but it's cool. Hour is fine. We just don't want you to spend three hours. We

405
00:24:58.640 --> 00:24:59.920
just want you to do the 45 minutes.

406
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:00.960
Like, man, it was so good.

407
00:25:00.960 --> 00:25:02.760
We got back on the phone and we met back up

408
00:25:02.760 --> 00:25:04.040
for a movie later on.

409
00:25:04.040 --> 00:25:06.480
Because it was so amazing.

410
00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:07.840
It felt so good.

411
00:25:07.840 --> 00:25:08.840
It felt so real.

412
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We are the most feelingness people.

413
00:25:10.720 --> 00:25:13.680
It just felt right.

414
00:25:13.680 --> 00:25:14.480
It ain't right.

415
00:25:17.800 --> 00:25:20.760
We do have to override our feelings

416
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and say, I put boundaries in place.

417
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And that's why it matters if you choose your boundaries.

418
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Because when you choose it, you have to answer to you.

419
00:25:29.960 --> 00:25:31.560
You got to actually explain to yourself

420
00:25:31.560 --> 00:25:33.800
why you're crossing a boundary that you decided

421
00:25:33.800 --> 00:25:40.520
was good, and profitable, and advantageous for your life.

422
00:25:40.520 --> 00:25:44.000
Because I can say it and you can say, I know this what I did.

423
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I don't know about y'all.

424
00:25:45.200 --> 00:25:46.560
I know Jackie said that.

425
00:25:46.560 --> 00:25:47.800
I know that's what they said.

426
00:25:47.800 --> 00:25:50.640
But look, and a woman is good for this.

427
00:25:50.640 --> 00:25:53.640
You just don't nobody know like she know, baby.

428
00:25:53.640 --> 00:25:55.280
And don't nobody know like she know when

429
00:25:55.280 --> 00:25:56.640
she done found a man she like.

430
00:25:56.800 --> 00:26:00.600
You can't tell us nothing.

431
00:26:00.600 --> 00:26:03.280
I make myself submit to authority.

432
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I am serious.

433
00:26:04.600 --> 00:26:06.640
I tell myself, you're going to submit because they

434
00:26:06.640 --> 00:26:07.720
know more than you.

435
00:26:07.720 --> 00:26:09.520
And I don't care what you think.

436
00:26:09.520 --> 00:26:12.280
That's how I talk to myself.

437
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Because I know me.

438
00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:16.040
I will try to rationalize and reason out

439
00:26:16.040 --> 00:26:19.240
of why I should go ahead and do it because I feel it.

440
00:26:19.240 --> 00:26:20.960
And I feel like the Lord.

441
00:26:20.960 --> 00:26:21.920
And I know.

442
00:26:21.920 --> 00:26:23.240
I feel like I'm in a program.

443
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I submitted to their authority.

444
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And if I said that God's hand was on this program

445
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and he brought me to it, then God's hand

446
00:26:29.120 --> 00:26:30.880
is on the authority that I came under.

447
00:26:30.880 --> 00:26:32.400
And I'm going to submit to their authority.

448
00:26:32.400 --> 00:26:34.040
It's kind of like when the Holy Spirit is moving

449
00:26:34.040 --> 00:26:34.960
and it's time to cut it out.

450
00:26:34.960 --> 00:26:37.120
But you keep talking in the name of the Holy Spirit.

451
00:26:37.120 --> 00:26:38.320
That's not true.

452
00:26:38.320 --> 00:26:39.720
It is time to move on.

453
00:26:39.720 --> 00:26:43.360
The authority in the house said that we need to move on.

454
00:26:43.360 --> 00:26:45.680
You can't override these things.

455
00:26:45.680 --> 00:26:47.440
That's why laws and rules and things

456
00:26:47.440 --> 00:26:50.840
are put in place so that you can subject yourself to them.

457
00:26:50.840 --> 00:26:54.440
And so I am a little rough house with me.

458
00:26:54.440 --> 00:26:55.880
I'm like, uh-uh, baby.

459
00:26:55.880 --> 00:26:58.680
You about to submit yourself to what these folks say.

460
00:26:58.680 --> 00:27:01.080
Because last time you went out with what you want to do

461
00:27:01.080 --> 00:27:04.080
and you saw what happened.

462
00:27:04.080 --> 00:27:05.520
This is my rule of thumb.

463
00:27:05.520 --> 00:27:08.160
And you can adopt this if you want to.

464
00:27:08.160 --> 00:27:11.800
If you've done this before and it didn't work for you,

465
00:27:11.800 --> 00:27:15.080
how do you come under another level of authority

466
00:27:15.080 --> 00:27:17.000
and say, my way still works?

467
00:27:19.720 --> 00:27:23.160
Clearly, they have something that you don't care.

468
00:27:23.160 --> 00:27:25.560
And that's how I process my life.

469
00:27:25.560 --> 00:27:27.640
And so I'm opening.

470
00:27:27.640 --> 00:27:29.200
This is not an advertisement.

471
00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:29.880
I am starting.

472
00:27:29.880 --> 00:27:33.080
One of my projects was an online boutique.

473
00:27:33.080 --> 00:27:34.880
And they said, the researcher said

474
00:27:34.880 --> 00:27:36.720
that when you price your clothing,

475
00:27:36.720 --> 00:27:39.480
that you're supposed to price your clothing at 2.5 times

476
00:27:39.480 --> 00:27:41.640
more than what you paid.

477
00:27:41.640 --> 00:27:43.680
Well, that's a problem for me.

478
00:27:43.680 --> 00:27:47.480
Because I don't like to spend an exaggerated amount of money

479
00:27:47.480 --> 00:27:48.680
on clothes.

480
00:27:48.680 --> 00:27:50.520
And so let's say one piece I got,

481
00:27:50.520 --> 00:27:51.760
I'm looking at the inventory.

482
00:27:51.760 --> 00:27:53.600
I paid $40 for that dress.

483
00:27:53.600 --> 00:27:56.800
So when I price it, when I post it online,

484
00:27:56.800 --> 00:28:04.280
I'm supposed to post it at 2.5 is $80, $80,

485
00:28:04.280 --> 00:28:05.320
that would be like $100.

486
00:28:05.320 --> 00:28:07.360
Because it's half of the $40, right?

487
00:28:07.360 --> 00:28:09.200
So it'll be $40, $40, $20.

488
00:28:09.200 --> 00:28:10.800
That's what I'm supposed to price it at.

489
00:28:10.800 --> 00:28:12.280
That is $80, $90.

490
00:28:12.280 --> 00:28:13.960
That's $100.

491
00:28:13.960 --> 00:28:16.400
And I'm like, I can't price that dress.

492
00:28:16.400 --> 00:28:17.720
I ain't finna price that dress.

493
00:28:17.720 --> 00:28:19.640
I ain't paying nobody for $100 dress.

494
00:28:19.640 --> 00:28:20.160
Ain't going to happen.

495
00:28:20.160 --> 00:28:21.080
I mean, I will.

496
00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:24.840
If it's like that, that.

497
00:28:24.840 --> 00:28:29.360
But I ain't never been in a boutique industry online before.

498
00:28:29.360 --> 00:28:30.680
I don't know the market.

499
00:28:30.680 --> 00:28:31.800
Who am I targeting?

500
00:28:31.800 --> 00:28:33.000
They probably ain't like me.

501
00:28:33.000 --> 00:28:36.160
Maybe they do got $120 to spend on a dress.

502
00:28:36.160 --> 00:28:38.160
But how am I going to go into a system

503
00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:41.400
and override what the system says works because they've

504
00:28:41.400 --> 00:28:42.480
been doing this?

505
00:28:42.480 --> 00:28:44.760
I ain't never did it.

506
00:28:44.760 --> 00:28:46.920
So you know what I put on that dress?

507
00:28:46.920 --> 00:28:49.840
$122.

508
00:28:49.880 --> 00:28:52.120
People like them off numbers, they say.

509
00:28:52.120 --> 00:28:54.000
But I did what they said do.

510
00:28:54.000 --> 00:28:57.120
Because why would I go to my own authority?

511
00:28:57.120 --> 00:28:58.920
I don't even have the wisdom on this.

512
00:28:58.920 --> 00:29:00.440
That's what I'm saying.

513
00:29:00.440 --> 00:29:02.480
So we have to be mindful of ourselves

514
00:29:02.480 --> 00:29:05.680
and figure out which boundaries we're going to put in place

515
00:29:05.680 --> 00:29:07.760
to guard ourselves.

516
00:29:07.760 --> 00:29:11.520
Because this is, remember, if I spend 40 minutes talking,

517
00:29:11.520 --> 00:29:14.160
if I spend three hours talking to you every day for a week,

518
00:29:14.160 --> 00:29:15.680
by the end of the week, for no lie,

519
00:29:15.680 --> 00:29:17.720
I'm going to think I know you like the back of my hand.

520
00:29:17.720 --> 00:29:19.800
And I've already planned children and a marriage

521
00:29:19.800 --> 00:29:22.200
and a whole lot of other stuff because we can fantasize

522
00:29:22.200 --> 00:29:24.800
to the end of the moon and back.

523
00:29:24.800 --> 00:29:26.880
The next thing, we need physical boundaries.

524
00:29:26.880 --> 00:29:28.600
So what is a physical boundary?

525
00:29:28.600 --> 00:29:30.840
Well, in this program, we said that a physical boundary

526
00:29:30.840 --> 00:29:34.840
is that we don't kiss all of these things in phase

527
00:29:34.840 --> 00:29:35.760
two dating.

528
00:29:35.760 --> 00:29:38.600
Somebody says, well, I think kissing is OK.

529
00:29:38.600 --> 00:29:40.040
I don't mind kissing.

530
00:29:40.040 --> 00:29:41.520
I want to get a little yum yum.

531
00:29:41.520 --> 00:29:44.120
I need to see what that kiss is like.

532
00:29:44.120 --> 00:29:46.080
Now, we don't process the fact that we're

533
00:29:46.080 --> 00:29:47.360
kissing a complete stranger.

534
00:29:47.360 --> 00:29:48.640
So if you'd like a little yum yum,

535
00:29:48.640 --> 00:29:50.080
just walk up to somebody in the grocery store

536
00:29:50.080 --> 00:29:51.480
and kiss them and tell me how that works.

537
00:29:51.480 --> 00:29:52.920
Because that's what you're saying.

538
00:29:52.920 --> 00:29:57.040
I was the kissing queen.

539
00:29:57.040 --> 00:29:58.320
Do you hear me?

540
00:29:58.320 --> 00:30:01.280
And so I'm like, I'll talk to you.

541
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.920
two weeks you're gonna let me know what that kiss like. That was me. I wanted to know how a person

542
00:30:05.920 --> 00:30:13.040
kissed. Now did I consider? I don't know this man. I don't know what I was thinking. These

543
00:30:13.040 --> 00:30:22.080
things were programmed in me when I showed up. And so I had a really long journey in learning.

544
00:30:22.080 --> 00:30:27.280
There was something programmed in me. Bless my heart. God delivered me. He really has helped me.

545
00:30:27.280 --> 00:30:32.240
There was a little girl in me that was determined to make out with men. Because when I was in high

546
00:30:32.240 --> 00:30:37.280
school, I was overweight. And so many guys didn't want to talk to me. But I used to watch all my

547
00:30:37.280 --> 00:30:42.560
friends make out. So there was something in me that longed to make out with men. And so then

548
00:30:42.560 --> 00:30:46.480
when I got an opportunity, oh, one of my boundaries is, hey, don't have men over to your house. Baby,

549
00:30:46.480 --> 00:30:50.240
I couldn't wait to get to somebody's in my house. Not because I wanted to have sex, but this was my

550
00:30:50.240 --> 00:30:56.000
thinking. Just come to the house. We can relax. It's cool. We can hang out. You ain't got to be

551
00:30:56.000 --> 00:31:02.160
in no restaurant. We could cook. It's fun over here. It's just like having a friend over.

552
00:31:02.160 --> 00:31:07.920
Isn't it fun? But when I was a little girl, I still remember even as a teenager, I used to say

553
00:31:07.920 --> 00:31:12.160
I had an aunt. And she would have her boyfriends over. And this is something the Lord had to show

554
00:31:12.160 --> 00:31:17.760
me. And I used to say, I can't wait till I get to have a boyfriend over. I can't wait till. I can't

555
00:31:17.760 --> 00:31:23.120
wait. I can't wait. When I went to college, I was dating someone. We dated for eight years. I came

556
00:31:23.120 --> 00:31:28.080
out of their relationship because I wanted to live a holy life before the Lord. And I kept having

557
00:31:28.080 --> 00:31:31.840
sex. Even if I went two months, then we'll have sex again. Three months, we'll have sex again.

558
00:31:31.840 --> 00:31:39.120
And that's just what a prayer I told to God. I said, I want to be real. And for some reason at

559
00:31:39.120 --> 00:31:44.880
that time, when this was years ago, I used to see people in church that I used to call them fake.

560
00:31:44.880 --> 00:31:48.560
That's just the language we had. They would be one way in church and then they would live another

561
00:31:48.560 --> 00:31:52.480
way in the streets. And so I told the Lord, I want to be holy for real. I'll walk away from this

562
00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:58.080
relationship if you give me holiness for real. And I'll wait on you to give me a husband.

563
00:31:58.080 --> 00:32:02.400
I was, man, I didn't, I didn't, I'm none of the woman that I am now. I didn't have language. I

564
00:32:02.400 --> 00:32:07.120
didn't know what that would look like. That's just what a little girl said to God, a young girl in

565
00:32:07.120 --> 00:32:14.080
college. I left the relationship. I didn't date anybody for eight years. I came into a culture

566
00:32:14.080 --> 00:32:17.520
of where church would shame you. You shouldn't believe you just wait on the Lord. He going to

567
00:32:17.520 --> 00:32:22.080
bring him and when he bring him, he going to do it quick. And so I was the quick queen. He going

568
00:32:22.080 --> 00:32:27.040
to bring you, get married in three months. People do it all the time. I ain't read no book about

569
00:32:27.040 --> 00:32:32.080
marriage. I ain't did no counseling. The only way I knew marriage was the way that I saw it growing

570
00:32:32.080 --> 00:32:37.280
up. Other than that, it was TV and the toxicity of the household that I lived in. I didn't know

571
00:32:37.280 --> 00:32:41.680
that you need to have a clue before you get married, but most people don't. The only marriage

572
00:32:41.680 --> 00:32:46.080
they know is what they saw growing up and what they saw on TV. And so I said, like every other

573
00:32:46.080 --> 00:32:50.640
church preman, when God do, he just going to show up. The Lord don't need all that. They ain't do no

574
00:32:50.640 --> 00:32:56.800
dating in the Bible. Everything you think of, baby, I had it down for you. I met somebody. So I didn't

575
00:32:56.800 --> 00:33:01.920
date. I didn't have sex before I got married. I met my ex-husband. I married him in three months

576
00:33:03.600 --> 00:33:08.080
and now he's my ex-husband. Not because I married him in three months because the truth is a lot of

577
00:33:08.080 --> 00:33:12.480
people get married in three months and have marriages for 50, 60 years, but I wasn't prepared

578
00:33:12.480 --> 00:33:15.280
and I forgot where I was going with it. But, oh, but when I met,

579
00:33:18.800 --> 00:33:25.520
the little girl, the little girl still didn't get to live herself out because I was, my baby,

580
00:33:25.520 --> 00:33:28.320
you know, I had been walking the Lord eight years and ain't touched nobody.

581
00:33:28.320 --> 00:33:32.880
Hon, that man was going to get me to move. I was holy as they come. You are so holy when ain't

582
00:33:32.880 --> 00:33:36.800
nobody pursuing you. You can talk about all the people you ain't had sex with when ain't nobody

583
00:33:36.800 --> 00:33:40.480
trying to get between your legs, when nobody's trying to sleep with you. I'm sorry. Like there's

584
00:33:40.480 --> 00:33:46.480
a different perspective when that's not happening in your life. You can say all the stuff you want

585
00:33:46.480 --> 00:33:50.960
to say. So I married him, we divorced. I still hadn't, that little girl hadn't expressed herself,

586
00:33:50.960 --> 00:33:56.560
so I didn't know she lived there because me and him, it happened so quick, right? So I didn't

587
00:33:56.560 --> 00:34:02.160
just, there was no opportunity. There was a not enough maturation time for that part of me to

588
00:34:02.160 --> 00:34:06.720
come out. I was still very programmed. You don't have sex before you get married. That's just not

589
00:34:06.720 --> 00:34:10.000
how it's going to work. You don't have sex before you get married. You don't have sex. You've done

590
00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:15.520
that before. You're not doing that. I come fast forward. Get in Jackie's program. I started dating.

591
00:34:15.520 --> 00:34:21.280
It was a seven days to spring challenge, honey. And I was dating myself some dating. I ain't never

592
00:34:21.280 --> 00:34:27.760
date so many men in my life. And it was, it just, I just kept dating after that. But one thing I

593
00:34:27.760 --> 00:34:31.840
kept doing after I talked to somebody, I have the most like, yeah, let's come over and hang out. Like

594
00:34:31.840 --> 00:34:36.320
we may go out the first time after that. Let's, baby, I broke the rule. If the rule could be broke,

595
00:34:37.280 --> 00:34:42.960
who did it? There ain't nothing wrong with that. There ain't nothing wrong with that.

596
00:34:42.960 --> 00:34:47.679
And so that's how I learned how to get community. That's how I learned how to be accountable.

597
00:34:47.679 --> 00:34:53.120
The Lord told me, he said, there was a little girl in you that had to die. He says that every

598
00:34:53.120 --> 00:34:59.840
farmer knows that before a good harvest, you have to have a strong, hard winter.

599
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.800
And he says, Ebony, you needed a winter to kill the pestilence.

600
00:35:04.800 --> 00:35:07.560
Because if the pestilence from the prior season

601
00:35:07.560 --> 00:35:09.560
does not die, when the harvest comes,

602
00:35:09.560 --> 00:35:11.520
the pestilence, the bugs, the mosquitoes,

603
00:35:11.520 --> 00:35:13.160
if they don't die in the winter, they're

604
00:35:13.160 --> 00:35:15.360
going to eat up the harvest.

605
00:35:15.360 --> 00:35:18.400
He told me, the last relationship

606
00:35:18.400 --> 00:35:21.000
that I had been in for a year, thought it was going somewhere.

607
00:35:21.000 --> 00:35:23.880
We shared another story for another day.

608
00:35:23.880 --> 00:35:27.280
He told me, that and you had to die.

609
00:35:27.280 --> 00:35:29.520
He says, because if it did not die,

610
00:35:29.520 --> 00:35:32.920
it was sure to destroy the harvest that was to come.

611
00:35:32.920 --> 00:35:36.240
And the harvest is coming.

612
00:35:36.240 --> 00:35:40.240
But what's in you will destroy what is to come.

613
00:35:40.240 --> 00:35:42.320
And the Lord had to do a hard freeze in me.

614
00:35:42.320 --> 00:35:45.520
He had to rid me of that girl.

615
00:35:45.520 --> 00:35:47.660
He had to rid me of all of those things.

616
00:35:47.660 --> 00:35:49.360
And so he really grew me through dating.

617
00:35:49.360 --> 00:35:50.640
Dating is one of the greatest things.

618
00:35:50.640 --> 00:35:53.040
They grew me, this program grew me, dating grew me.

619
00:35:53.040 --> 00:35:54.400
Boundaries are necessary.

620
00:35:54.400 --> 00:35:56.280
So I had to learn how, from that point,

621
00:35:56.280 --> 00:35:59.880
how to implement boundaries and how they would save me.

622
00:35:59.880 --> 00:36:00.960
They would save my heart.

623
00:36:00.960 --> 00:36:02.000
They would save my time.

624
00:36:02.000 --> 00:36:03.080
They would save my life.

625
00:36:03.080 --> 00:36:05.040
I had to work it out, babe.

626
00:36:05.040 --> 00:36:06.760
I was like somebody in the field.

627
00:36:06.760 --> 00:36:09.160
I would garden it, like it was some real work over here.

628
00:36:09.160 --> 00:36:12.320
And so I know that these things, they work.

629
00:36:12.320 --> 00:36:13.680
They're true.

630
00:36:13.680 --> 00:36:15.320
They're to guard us and to keep us.

631
00:36:15.320 --> 00:36:16.920
So now I want to preach.

632
00:36:16.920 --> 00:36:17.600
I'm going to keep going.

633
00:36:17.600 --> 00:36:18.600
I'm going to keep going.

634
00:36:18.600 --> 00:36:19.400
OK.

635
00:36:19.400 --> 00:36:20.640
So we have physical boundaries.

636
00:36:20.640 --> 00:36:23.080
Like, let's keep the touching to yourselves.

637
00:36:23.080 --> 00:36:24.120
Why are we touching?

638
00:36:24.120 --> 00:36:26.920
Sometimes we have to ask ourselves, why do I want to kiss?

639
00:36:26.920 --> 00:36:30.000
I said I like to say, ask yourself,

640
00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:32.800
what is this kissing going to do for me?

641
00:36:32.800 --> 00:36:35.080
When women kiss, we release oxycodone.

642
00:36:35.080 --> 00:36:38.160
Baby, make you want to grab that man and say, come to me.

643
00:36:38.160 --> 00:36:39.360
I kissed somebody one time.

644
00:36:39.360 --> 00:36:40.200
I thought I had it.

645
00:36:40.200 --> 00:36:41.960
Lord, I said, what the heck happened to me?

646
00:36:41.960 --> 00:36:43.320
My head started spinning.

647
00:36:43.320 --> 00:36:45.360
It was so good.

648
00:36:45.360 --> 00:36:47.800
I said, this ain't right.

649
00:36:47.800 --> 00:36:50.240
I can't do this.

650
00:36:50.240 --> 00:36:52.640
Something is about to go down.

651
00:36:52.640 --> 00:36:55.080
Now, you'll take that kiss and in your house

652
00:36:55.080 --> 00:36:55.880
at the same time.

653
00:36:55.880 --> 00:36:57.600
Y'all some grown women there.

654
00:36:57.600 --> 00:36:59.320
We ain't talking to no children.

655
00:36:59.320 --> 00:37:01.560
You already know.

656
00:37:01.560 --> 00:37:03.560
It ain't going to take but one little wrong touch

657
00:37:03.560 --> 00:37:08.000
across that shoulder somewhere, or some to the side.

658
00:37:08.000 --> 00:37:09.960
Stuff going to change fast.

659
00:37:09.960 --> 00:37:12.040
So these boundaries are to guard you and protect you.

660
00:37:12.040 --> 00:37:13.520
And they really do help you.

661
00:37:13.520 --> 00:37:18.200
And the next one, so physical and spiritual boundaries.

662
00:37:18.200 --> 00:37:21.280
This spiritual boundary that we say to y'all all the time.

663
00:37:21.280 --> 00:37:23.640
The reason why I'm giving relevance to these boundaries

664
00:37:23.640 --> 00:37:27.200
so you can decide if you want to accept them into your life.

665
00:37:27.200 --> 00:37:28.520
Because when you're in a program,

666
00:37:28.520 --> 00:37:31.640
we say this is how it goes, A, B, C, D. Go do.

667
00:37:31.640 --> 00:37:34.120
But if you never take it on later, this is where I'm going.

668
00:37:34.120 --> 00:37:35.800
If you never accept them as your own,

669
00:37:35.800 --> 00:37:38.160
if you don't know the value and worth of them,

670
00:37:38.160 --> 00:37:42.160
you'll misuse them, abuse them, or not use them at all.

671
00:37:42.160 --> 00:37:45.440
Because you don't have the full understanding of why.

672
00:37:45.440 --> 00:37:48.240
And so it's like a child wanting to rebel against your rule

673
00:37:48.240 --> 00:37:49.720
because they don't understand why.

674
00:37:49.760 --> 00:37:51.800
And you can't even, for children, you can't even,

675
00:37:51.800 --> 00:37:53.960
they don't even have the understanding to understand,

676
00:37:53.960 --> 00:37:55.960
right, why you're saying no.

677
00:37:55.960 --> 00:37:56.880
And they want you to explain to them,

678
00:37:56.880 --> 00:37:58.080
but they can't grasp it.

679
00:37:58.080 --> 00:37:58.920
They don't know that.

680
00:37:58.920 --> 00:38:01.000
But you guys can grasp this.

681
00:38:01.000 --> 00:38:03.600
And these are all the whys.

682
00:38:03.600 --> 00:38:05.760
And most people aren't exempt.

683
00:38:05.760 --> 00:38:07.560
And that's why Jackie teaches these things

684
00:38:07.560 --> 00:38:09.120
the way that she does.

685
00:38:09.120 --> 00:38:11.720
The next one is spiritual boundaries.

686
00:38:11.720 --> 00:38:14.760
And a lot of times we really enjoy men

687
00:38:14.760 --> 00:38:16.360
who sends us a scripture,

688
00:38:17.320 --> 00:38:19.120
who talks about the Lord,

689
00:38:19.120 --> 00:38:22.360
because something in us believes that there are no godly men,

690
00:38:22.360 --> 00:38:24.080
that there are no kingdom men.

691
00:38:24.080 --> 00:38:25.640
Why do we believe it so much?

692
00:38:25.640 --> 00:38:28.400
We believe it so much because we ain't ran across any.

693
00:38:29.480 --> 00:38:31.680
We believe it so much because we haven't seen it.

694
00:38:31.680 --> 00:38:34.080
We may believe it so much, you know,

695
00:38:34.080 --> 00:38:35.720
but this is the truth.

696
00:38:35.720 --> 00:38:39.320
How do you know based on how many men are in the world?

697
00:38:40.200 --> 00:38:42.320
I have a friend, we're very good friends.

698
00:38:42.320 --> 00:38:43.160
His name is Jeremy.

699
00:38:43.160 --> 00:38:45.640
We've been friends since we were in high school.

700
00:38:45.920 --> 00:38:48.120
And he told me, he said, Ebony,

701
00:38:48.120 --> 00:38:50.400
now he's a worldly man.

702
00:38:50.400 --> 00:38:53.040
He says, Ebony, the man you want don't exist.

703
00:38:53.040 --> 00:38:56.840
I don't know no man that's gonna wait on a woman.

704
00:38:56.840 --> 00:38:59.320
I don't know no man who gonna talk to a woman

705
00:38:59.320 --> 00:39:00.280
who ain't gonna have sex.

706
00:39:00.280 --> 00:39:02.880
I said, well, how many men do you know?

707
00:39:02.880 --> 00:39:04.560
I said, my point exactly.

708
00:39:04.560 --> 00:39:06.400
Every man you know is just like you.

709
00:39:06.400 --> 00:39:08.000
Find me a man that's not like you,

710
00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:09.720
then tell me about every man.

711
00:39:09.720 --> 00:39:12.520
Because every man you know is wrapped up in sin

712
00:39:12.520 --> 00:39:13.520
just like you.

713
00:39:13.520 --> 00:39:15.120
They think just like you.

714
00:39:15.560 --> 00:39:16.400
They do what you do.

715
00:39:16.400 --> 00:39:19.240
So, ah, no wonder you don't know a man

716
00:39:19.240 --> 00:39:20.680
who gonna do what I want.

717
00:39:21.920 --> 00:39:24.720
You don't, you ain't know enough people.

718
00:39:24.720 --> 00:39:27.040
And so we listen to the lies of culture

719
00:39:27.040 --> 00:39:28.560
that tell us you ain't gonna find this

720
00:39:28.560 --> 00:39:29.840
and there's a shortage of this

721
00:39:29.840 --> 00:39:31.800
when who is in their circle?

722
00:39:33.480 --> 00:39:34.760
How you gonna tell me some of my business?

723
00:39:34.760 --> 00:39:36.360
You don't even got friends that do business.

724
00:39:36.360 --> 00:39:37.960
You don't even know nothing about business.

725
00:39:37.960 --> 00:39:39.240
You're not an expert.

726
00:39:39.240 --> 00:39:40.360
You're not an authority.

727
00:39:40.360 --> 00:39:42.720
And then when we come and sit under the authority,

728
00:39:42.720 --> 00:39:44.200
the program that Jackie has built,

729
00:39:44.200 --> 00:39:46.080
who has seen engagement after engagement,

730
00:39:46.080 --> 00:39:48.600
20, 25 engagements in a month,

731
00:39:48.600 --> 00:39:50.160
15 marriages in a month,

732
00:39:50.160 --> 00:39:52.840
month after month, year after year,

733
00:39:52.840 --> 00:39:55.640
we find it hard to grasp a hold to this truth,

734
00:39:55.640 --> 00:39:59.520
but she sees it every single day.

735
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:07.200
Culture has spoken to us so long and filled us with so many lies that it's easier to lean

736
00:40:07.200 --> 00:40:08.200
toward that.

737
00:40:08.200 --> 00:40:14.960
It's easier to lean toward what we see, but we don't realize that our sight is so small.

738
00:40:14.960 --> 00:40:15.960
We see like this.

739
00:40:15.960 --> 00:40:16.960
You know what I'm saying?

740
00:40:16.960 --> 00:40:20.320
It's like when you're in a room and you got two fingers up, y'all do this right now and

741
00:40:20.320 --> 00:40:21.320
tell me how much you see.

742
00:40:21.320 --> 00:40:22.320
Everybody, let's do it.

743
00:40:22.320 --> 00:40:23.320
Put your finger up.

744
00:40:23.320 --> 00:40:24.320
Tell me how much you see.

745
00:40:24.320 --> 00:40:33.080
Now, you don't see but a little, but it's a whole big room around you.

746
00:40:33.080 --> 00:40:38.360
But this is all you can see because it's all your lens.

747
00:40:38.360 --> 00:40:43.160
And so, anyway, we got there because we were talking about spiritual boundaries.

748
00:40:43.160 --> 00:40:47.240
But so when you get to meet a man and this is a man of God and you think he is, that

749
00:40:47.240 --> 00:40:48.240
this is amazing.

750
00:40:48.240 --> 00:40:49.240
This is amazing.

751
00:40:49.240 --> 00:40:50.240
He's something in scripture.

752
00:40:50.240 --> 00:40:53.840
Girl, he said he pray at night before he go to bed.

753
00:40:54.360 --> 00:40:56.080
I've been looking for this, right?

754
00:40:56.080 --> 00:41:01.760
Whatever, whatever he does, it is not, you will start to believe that you know him better

755
00:41:01.760 --> 00:41:04.400
than you do.

756
00:41:04.400 --> 00:41:07.320
I want you guys to think about your own life.

757
00:41:07.320 --> 00:41:11.600
Think about maybe how many scriptures you know, how many spiritual principles you know.

758
00:41:11.600 --> 00:41:16.940
And I want you to think about, even though you know them, how many of them do you operate

759
00:41:16.940 --> 00:41:21.760
into the fullness?

760
00:41:21.760 --> 00:41:28.240
That's no different from the next person.

761
00:41:28.240 --> 00:41:33.760
Him somebody knowing a scripture does not tell you how fruitful the word of God is in

762
00:41:33.760 --> 00:41:36.080
their life and how fruitful they are.

763
00:41:36.080 --> 00:41:42.000
And I know how many scriptures they know, they don't know how to communicate.

764
00:41:42.000 --> 00:41:46.280
Your marriage is not going to sustain itself off of a scripture that you know.

765
00:41:46.280 --> 00:41:49.720
I hear people quote, we use quote all the time, I can do all things to Christ who gives

766
00:41:49.720 --> 00:41:50.720
me strength.

767
00:41:50.720 --> 00:41:52.560
So what are you doing?

768
00:41:52.560 --> 00:41:54.600
You can do all things, but what are you doing?

769
00:41:54.600 --> 00:41:55.600
Right?

770
00:41:55.600 --> 00:41:59.920
And so I know something, but that doesn't sustain if it's not an operation in my life

771
00:41:59.920 --> 00:42:04.840
and we can get somebody, I've been in ministry for a long time, y'all.

772
00:42:04.840 --> 00:42:09.320
And I've seen a lot of marriages in ministry and I've seen a lot of people in ministry

773
00:42:09.320 --> 00:42:13.960
and it does not change that there are people and their marriages that go under all the

774
00:42:13.960 --> 00:42:18.720
time in ministry, wonderful, gifted people, anointing and all of these things.

775
00:42:18.720 --> 00:42:19.720
Why?

776
00:42:19.720 --> 00:42:21.720
Because the scripture doesn't know how to communicate.

777
00:42:21.720 --> 00:42:22.720
What?

778
00:42:22.720 --> 00:42:23.720
Yeah.

779
00:42:23.720 --> 00:42:24.720
Communicate.

780
00:42:24.720 --> 00:42:32.920
Some of the core things that we learn here in this program is how to communicate, right?

781
00:42:32.920 --> 00:42:35.880
That when we go on the first date, we keep it up here.

782
00:42:35.880 --> 00:42:36.880
That's communication.

783
00:42:36.880 --> 00:42:44.120
Learning how to walk with a person, to observe a person, to grow with a person, to take it

784
00:42:44.120 --> 00:42:45.760
one day at a time.

785
00:42:45.760 --> 00:42:51.440
In marriage, you're going to have to take it one day at a time, ain't no way around

786
00:42:51.440 --> 00:42:52.440
it.

787
00:42:52.440 --> 00:42:53.440
You can go deep all you want.

788
00:42:53.440 --> 00:42:54.440
You can go deep.

789
00:42:54.440 --> 00:42:58.400
You're just going to come back up and going to be the same person sitting right there.

790
00:42:58.400 --> 00:43:03.560
It's easier to operate in boundaries and practice these things now while you're single.

791
00:43:03.560 --> 00:43:04.560
Why?

792
00:43:04.560 --> 00:43:05.560
Because it's just you and God.

793
00:43:05.560 --> 00:43:11.720
But when you get married, you're going to have to deal with somebody else's will.

794
00:43:11.720 --> 00:43:12.720
That's somebody else's will.

795
00:43:12.720 --> 00:43:15.720
You ain't going to be able to do what you want them to do and they ain't going to be

796
00:43:15.720 --> 00:43:18.280
ready to grow when you're ready to go and do what you want to do.

797
00:43:18.280 --> 00:43:24.680
So as I am saying, take your time, practice boundaries, become a champion at it, master

798
00:43:24.680 --> 00:43:30.200
it so that it could guard your life and guard your heart and tell you where to go and tell

799
00:43:30.200 --> 00:43:31.200
you what to do.

800
00:43:31.200 --> 00:43:34.640
Your boundaries will lead and guide you, their wisdom.

801
00:43:34.640 --> 00:43:36.800
So we know the spiritual balance is a thing.

802
00:43:36.800 --> 00:43:40.040
We don't want to just start talking about all our spiritual encounters with the Lord

803
00:43:40.040 --> 00:43:43.280
and this is that or listening to all of those things because it makes you believe you know

804
00:43:43.280 --> 00:43:44.740
a person more than you do.

805
00:43:44.760 --> 00:43:46.780
We don't want to start studying scriptures together.

806
00:43:46.780 --> 00:43:50.900
We don't want to start reading our Bibles together and your mom may say, I've always

807
00:43:50.900 --> 00:43:53.100
wanted a man that I can read the Bible with.

808
00:43:53.100 --> 00:44:00.540
Okay, you'll have him when you say I do if he wants to read the Bible with you.

809
00:44:00.540 --> 00:44:06.660
Not all husbands, no matter if they're a pastor, a teacher, want to read the Bible with their

810
00:44:06.660 --> 00:44:10.420
wife.

811
00:44:10.420 --> 00:44:15.780
Let's make our goals to be studiers of the Word.

812
00:44:15.780 --> 00:44:21.180
Let's make our goals to build community of friends that like to read the Word together

813
00:44:21.180 --> 00:44:24.500
and stop putting all the responsibility on our husband.

814
00:44:24.500 --> 00:44:26.020
Why does that matter, Ebony?

815
00:44:26.020 --> 00:44:30.660
It matters because if you set your mind out that I want these things in a man and he shows

816
00:44:30.660 --> 00:44:35.020
up and he shows you a glimpse of it, you hang on to it and say, this is what I want.

817
00:44:35.020 --> 00:44:39.700
He got everything I want, but what if you had a study group of women that you studied

818
00:44:39.700 --> 00:44:42.260
the Word with?

819
00:44:42.260 --> 00:44:47.100
You still going to be chasing that in a one person?

820
00:44:47.100 --> 00:44:52.300
What if the things that you're putting out that I want this from a husband, you actually

821
00:44:52.300 --> 00:44:59.340
create it in your own life and you do things with community because everything that you

822
00:44:59.340 --> 00:45:00.340
desire,

823
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.680
You're not going to out that's not going to be the desire of your husband's heart

824
00:45:06.720 --> 00:45:10.240
And the things that he desires for you are not going to be the desires of your heart

825
00:45:10.320 --> 00:45:14.080
It's not just about him like these are real things you're dealing with real people

826
00:45:14.160 --> 00:45:16.160
It's not just a title husband and wife

827
00:45:16.480 --> 00:45:20.080
And so when we get to know people we don't have to try to figure out they're christian

828
00:45:20.160 --> 00:45:22.880
They're this you're in phase two. You're just dating to discover

829
00:45:24.640 --> 00:45:26.880
And just getting to know people for who they are

830
00:45:27.200 --> 00:45:28.560
And

831
00:45:28.560 --> 00:45:32.400
We're not we want to practice if you want to adopt that boundary into your life

832
00:45:32.480 --> 00:45:36.720
We want to practice not talking about spiritual things and studying the word together

833
00:45:36.960 --> 00:45:41.360
And doing all those things because it is this deep desire of yours to have that in the spouse

834
00:45:42.560 --> 00:45:46.240
Because what happens is you can do it. You can study the scripture with them now

835
00:45:46.320 --> 00:45:49.280
But I don't you know how duped you gonna feel when you say I do

836
00:45:49.520 --> 00:45:53.520
And every time you get ready to study bob he don't want to study with you and what you're gonna say

837
00:45:53.840 --> 00:45:56.240
Jacob you're gonna say yeah, but I thought

838
00:45:57.280 --> 00:45:59.280
I I thought

839
00:45:59.520 --> 00:46:01.120
but when we

840
00:46:01.120 --> 00:46:03.280
And we're gonna work and now y'all know this cycle

841
00:46:03.680 --> 00:46:07.840
We're gonna work our butts out to get back to that man that we met in dating

842
00:46:08.000 --> 00:46:14.160
And we're gonna deny that he's not that man for a very long time till we realize that he really ain't that man

843
00:46:14.880 --> 00:46:18.000
And so we'll hold on to what that glimpse of a man

844
00:46:18.000 --> 00:46:22.160
He gave us because we be saying I know it's in him. I know it's there. He showed it to me

845
00:46:22.560 --> 00:46:25.360
I know he could do it. That's why we get so tripped up

846
00:46:25.520 --> 00:46:30.720
He hasn't been in a relationship before when they don't do what you know, they can't do. I know you can do it

847
00:46:31.200 --> 00:46:37.920
When we were dating you chased me all around when we were this you used to do this and they like yeah, I don't do it

848
00:46:39.040 --> 00:46:41.040
Yeah, yeah

849
00:46:41.600 --> 00:46:42.960
So

850
00:46:42.960 --> 00:46:44.960
Just to say got it. Yeah

851
00:46:46.080 --> 00:46:49.200
So those are three boundaries. I gave you if you want to adopt them into your life

852
00:46:49.200 --> 00:46:51.600
These are three boundaries that the program teaches

853
00:46:52.480 --> 00:46:58.000
And i've tried to give you more insight on why those boundaries are healthy and best for our lives

854
00:46:58.480 --> 00:47:02.560
And those boundaries can also be applied to friendships just not dating

855
00:47:03.040 --> 00:47:05.040
They're not just in dating, you know

856
00:47:05.120 --> 00:47:05.440
um

857
00:47:05.440 --> 00:47:06.460
I've talked to

858
00:47:06.460 --> 00:47:11.600
Friends and gotten to know them and start just sharing this and sharing that and sharing this and then you lay on you find out

859
00:47:11.600 --> 00:47:14.080
They're not really even into all this stuff i'm talking about

860
00:47:16.240 --> 00:47:18.480
I thought she was like this but not really

861
00:47:19.200 --> 00:47:26.320
And so boundaries are good for all areas. And um, and so there is your option to adopt them. So emotionally we don't want to

862
00:47:26.800 --> 00:47:29.120
Spill all our pearls. We don't want to go deep fast

863
00:47:29.120 --> 00:47:34.720
We want to just find some questions off google have some stuff to laugh at and enjoy with each other, right?

864
00:47:35.280 --> 00:47:36.320
um

865
00:47:36.320 --> 00:47:41.940
And then so that's that's emotional and then physical boundaries. We want to keep our hands to ourselves and our lips to ourselves

866
00:47:43.440 --> 00:47:45.280
And we don't want to make out

867
00:47:45.280 --> 00:47:48.800
And then we don't want to have people over to our home and then spiritual boundaries

868
00:47:49.040 --> 00:47:53.840
How about everybody keep their scripture to theirselves if somebody sends you a scripture say hey, thanks for sharing

869
00:47:54.320 --> 00:47:55.200
um

870
00:47:55.200 --> 00:48:00.960
And another thing I do want to just add before we go to these boundaries that we're gonna kind of collaborate together with

871
00:48:01.440 --> 00:48:04.400
For about five minutes and if you guys have anything you want to discuss well

872
00:48:05.920 --> 00:48:07.920
Let me not say that let me skip let me do this

873
00:48:08.640 --> 00:48:14.640
Another boundary I want to introduce to you ladies and something I want you to think about are boundaries around your thought life

874
00:48:15.440 --> 00:48:17.440
um

875
00:48:17.440 --> 00:48:21.520
I want to say especially during the holiday season, but really this is for your whole life

876
00:48:21.520 --> 00:48:23.520
And this is something that we learn in the heart work

877
00:48:24.160 --> 00:48:29.120
That we think with our hearts and not what our minds is what the heart perceives is how we see the world

878
00:48:29.360 --> 00:48:32.320
But we have to have boundaries around our thought life

879
00:48:32.880 --> 00:48:36.800
So what does that look like? It looks like when I hear a lie, I pull it out quickly

880
00:48:37.840 --> 00:48:40.960
So we want boundaries around our thought life. So when we hear thoughts like

881
00:48:41.920 --> 00:48:44.320
Oh god did it for them, but he isn't gonna do it for you

882
00:48:44.880 --> 00:48:46.960
What is your defense against this ladies?

883
00:48:47.680 --> 00:48:49.680
That's your boundary. What are you gonna say?

884
00:48:50.720 --> 00:48:52.720
Are you just gonna let the lie ruminate?

885
00:48:54.000 --> 00:48:56.240
Or you're gonna come back quickly with a boundary

886
00:48:56.320 --> 00:49:02.160
There are things that I rehearse in my mind that when certain thoughts come I quickly debunk it

887
00:49:02.880 --> 00:49:07.360
If i'm planning something and there's a thought that's gonna come this is simple. It may rain

888
00:49:07.600 --> 00:49:11.040
I say yeah, it may rain and it may not rain. I'm gonna carry on

889
00:49:11.600 --> 00:49:18.640
It's true it may and it may not that's also true or when I have the thought that man

890
00:49:19.680 --> 00:49:21.920
Especially online data. Oh my goodness

891
00:49:22.720 --> 00:49:24.720
It ain't ain't nobody out here

892
00:49:25.280 --> 00:49:27.280
It ain't this obviously ain't no

893
00:49:28.080 --> 00:49:32.320
These jokers ain't talking about something. They love you don't love the lord. Look what you put on here

894
00:49:32.320 --> 00:49:37.760
Like I this is me scrolling thinking you fear the lord. You don't fear him. I know you don't feel like

895
00:49:41.040 --> 00:49:48.880
Scrolling leaving my thoughts. Don't you going going but then i'll be like i'll stop i'm like man. I don't even know why i'm doing this

896
00:49:50.320 --> 00:49:52.420
This is this is just discouraging

897
00:49:53.520 --> 00:49:55.520
Yeah, this sounds like yeah

898
00:49:55.600 --> 00:49:58.080
I know and when I hear that final thought

899
00:49:58.960 --> 00:50:00.960
I don't even know why i'm doing

900
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.560
On this this ain't ain't nobody on here for me

901
00:50:03.600 --> 00:50:08.560
That I have a boundary that says I may didn't find anybody on here, but the lord has someone for me

902
00:50:09.840 --> 00:50:11.840
That's a boundary

903
00:50:12.640 --> 00:50:18.160
Because what that last thought came to do is to sit down on the inside of me plant a seed to grow something

904
00:50:18.480 --> 00:50:20.800
That's going to become a stronghold for me later on

905
00:50:21.680 --> 00:50:23.680
That's going to create a deficit in my life

906
00:50:23.920 --> 00:50:28.720
That's going to create a poverty mindset a scarcity mindset that so when somebody does come along

907
00:50:28.720 --> 00:50:30.240
I'm gonna try to hold on to them

908
00:50:30.240 --> 00:50:36.640
I'm gonna try to make it be something that is really not because a lot because two weeks ago when I was scrolling

909
00:50:38.320 --> 00:50:45.200
I believe that there was a scarcity of men because I didn't see anybody or when somebody out when somebody does

910
00:50:46.160 --> 00:50:50.640
Respond back to me and they start making little comments that i'm uncomfortable with or sexual

911
00:50:50.780 --> 00:50:54.160
Induendos, I say to myself. I don't want to mess this up. I'm just gonna see

912
00:50:54.720 --> 00:50:57.840
It's a yes till it's a no and i'm just gonna see i'm just gonna see

913
00:50:58.720 --> 00:51:04.160
I don't like that. He said that but i'm just gonna see when he's sending them pictures. Uh, maybe it was a mistake

914
00:51:05.120 --> 00:51:09.520
Why because I have a scarcity mindset that set in a while ago that I didn't deal with

915
00:51:09.920 --> 00:51:13.280
A seed was planted a thought presented itself to me that I did not

916
00:51:13.920 --> 00:51:15.920
That I did not deal with

917
00:51:16.560 --> 00:51:19.680
That I didn't put my fence up and say whoa, you're not getting in here

918
00:51:21.120 --> 00:51:22.400
You ain't getting over here, baby

919
00:51:22.400 --> 00:51:27.040
No, only people get here is the people I open the gate to and i'm not opening the gate to you

920
00:51:28.880 --> 00:51:30.960
Um, I wrote down a couple of other thoughts

921
00:51:32.080 --> 00:51:34.080
This morning that we could have

922
00:51:34.240 --> 00:51:38.640
um that we have to um determine if we're gonna boundaries around

923
00:51:39.280 --> 00:51:40.800
um

924
00:51:40.800 --> 00:51:42.800
Some thoughts is i'll never be married

925
00:51:45.040 --> 00:51:47.040
Right this is a comment like

926
00:51:47.680 --> 00:51:53.600
I'll never be married. What boundary do you want to put in place for when that thought comes to visit you? It's coming

927
00:51:54.560 --> 00:51:59.920
Anytime we're on the faith journey and we're believing for something that we have not yet to obtain

928
00:52:01.040 --> 00:52:05.760
It the the thought is going to be presented to us over and over and over again

929
00:52:06.320 --> 00:52:08.320
You have to work

930
00:52:08.320 --> 00:52:14.320
I mean work in a resting way to hold up your truth and what you're believing in the bible says that

931
00:52:15.760 --> 00:52:17.440
Hope deferred

932
00:52:17.440 --> 00:52:19.440
Maketh the heart sick

933
00:52:19.760 --> 00:52:24.800
What does that mean that when something when i'm believing or something I believe for something

934
00:52:24.880 --> 00:52:28.640
I can become sick in my heart because it has not materialized yet

935
00:52:29.200 --> 00:52:36.000
So the bible says hope deferred make it the heart sick, but promises fulfilled is a tree of life

936
00:52:37.200 --> 00:52:39.680
One time the lord told me I was on a swing and I was swinging

937
00:52:39.760 --> 00:52:44.640
He said if any hope deferred make the heart sick. My heart was sick. Do you hear me sick?

938
00:52:44.960 --> 00:52:50.400
I was sick. My heart was sick. I said, I don't know what was about a child. I don't know what it was

939
00:52:50.400 --> 00:52:52.400
He said hope deferred make it the heart sick

940
00:52:52.880 --> 00:52:54.960
He said most people walk away right here

941
00:52:57.280 --> 00:53:02.240
He said they stopped believing right here and that's why they have this pattern in their life of they believe god for something

942
00:53:02.240 --> 00:53:04.720
They don't even believe no more. It's like whatever the lord say

943
00:53:05.280 --> 00:53:07.280
If he said will it's gonna happen

944
00:53:07.600 --> 00:53:11.600
Because their heart became sick and they walked away from the process

945
00:53:12.560 --> 00:53:17.200
He said but if you will hold on promises fulfilled is a tree of life for you

946
00:53:18.000 --> 00:53:20.000
And he says what's your promise?

947
00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:22.800
I said he said what what what is going to be the fulfillment?

948
00:53:22.800 --> 00:53:26.160
He asked me the question, you know, he asked the question. He got an answer. So I ain't trying to go for

949
00:53:26.640 --> 00:53:29.620
I don't know what you think. I am the fulfillment

950
00:53:31.040 --> 00:53:33.040
I am the fulfillment

951
00:53:34.480 --> 00:53:37.840
See a lot of times we put our hope

952
00:53:38.480 --> 00:53:41.520
Our expectation in an outcome that looks a certain way

953
00:53:42.800 --> 00:53:46.400
But when he is the fulfillment, don't you know you lack no good thing?

954
00:53:47.920 --> 00:53:52.240
When god becomes the fulfillment of a thing if I know that he is there

955
00:53:52.960 --> 00:53:54.800
And in him all things about that

956
00:53:54.800 --> 00:53:58.160
He gives me the desires of my heart that he says no good thing

957
00:53:58.240 --> 00:54:03.760
Will he withhold from they who love him the bible says that he delights in the steps of the righteous man

958
00:54:04.320 --> 00:54:08.720
This is what the bible says about him so if he is for my fulfillment

959
00:54:08.720 --> 00:54:12.000
I have all things and I don't have to bank on

960
00:54:12.400 --> 00:54:16.800
A love story looking the way it look for somebody else that that's what it's going to look like for me

961
00:54:18.000 --> 00:54:20.800
So I don't have to compare myself to another love story

962
00:54:21.360 --> 00:54:26.480
I don't have to keep looking for this magical thing. That's going to sweep me out of my feet and oh my goodness

963
00:54:26.480 --> 00:54:28.480
It was just so amazing

964
00:54:28.480 --> 00:54:30.480
So amazing

965
00:54:31.600 --> 00:54:38.880
I can become settled in my love story the one that says i'm sitting in a coaching session that i'm in jackie's program

966
00:54:39.120 --> 00:54:41.120
And I did the heart work first

967
00:54:41.360 --> 00:54:44.160
And now some prince charming didn't come and sweep me off my feet

968
00:54:46.160 --> 00:54:51.300
Because I don't live in a fantasy I live in the subtleties of god of promises fulfilled

969
00:54:53.200 --> 00:54:54.400
Right

970
00:54:54.400 --> 00:54:59.220
And so i'm okay with sitting in a group chat i'm okay with learning boundaries

971
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.280
okay with learning the things that equip me to be powerful in life in my whole life

972
00:55:06.960 --> 00:55:12.320
and i'm okay with the process because it is building capacity in me for the promise that

973
00:55:12.320 --> 00:55:21.520
i am believing for and so that's what it produces in us and so i know that we need to think about

974
00:55:21.520 --> 00:55:27.920
the thoughts that attack us the most and i it's 12 57 and so for sure i have went a little past

975
00:55:27.920 --> 00:55:33.840
my time because i wanted us to if you want to type in in the in the comments um maybe a lie

976
00:55:33.840 --> 00:55:38.960
that attacks you the most you know the thing that comes to introduce itself to you the most

977
00:55:40.080 --> 00:55:42.640
type it in and how about we put a boundary to it

978
00:55:45.760 --> 00:55:50.640
let's type that in and let's put a boundary to it and then you know we'll take i know three minutes

979
00:55:50.640 --> 00:55:54.320
sounds short but it'll be three minutes that's worth it because i do want us to do a little

980
00:55:54.320 --> 00:55:59.200
coaching today and i want everybody at least to get a one minute if nothing at all holy spirit

981
00:55:59.200 --> 00:56:06.080
will always always give us the best questions to ask and he'll temper us okay okay i like that

982
00:56:06.080 --> 00:56:11.360
um he'll temper us so that we can make space and time for everyone so you guys let's look at our

983
00:56:11.360 --> 00:56:17.120
comments when we see the the about the the the lies or the thoughts that are coming up that

984
00:56:17.120 --> 00:56:23.760
people are putting in the comments if you have a boundary to share with them for that one tell

985
00:56:23.760 --> 00:56:27.920
them one as soon as you see it i know a boundary for that because you may have thoughts that help

986
00:56:27.920 --> 00:56:36.560
guard you against that that they don't have let's share it okay so i am going to go to my chat too

987
00:56:37.440 --> 00:56:43.200
i'm gonna open it up i don't know what what's this about let's see they come in so fast i like this

988
00:56:43.760 --> 00:56:44.260
okay

989
00:56:47.120 --> 00:56:54.720
so uh-oh uh-oh just someone wants to crow want to steal my man i desire that right then we ain't

990
00:56:54.720 --> 00:57:00.240
letting nobody steal no man over here baby because i'm gonna tell you something here you go can't

991
00:57:00.240 --> 00:57:05.360
nobody steal what belongs to you i used to hear this all the time and i don't know if it's a

992
00:57:05.360 --> 00:57:10.800
culture thing y'all know that i'm african-american is very clear but the women in my culture used to

993
00:57:10.800 --> 00:57:16.000
say baby can't nobody steal what what they can't steal what belong to you if somebody take them he

994
00:57:16.000 --> 00:57:21.120
win yours in the first place that's what old women would say all the time me growing up i said she

995
00:57:21.120 --> 00:57:27.120
stole my name oh babe can't nobody steal your man it can't steal what it can't steal what belongs

996
00:57:27.120 --> 00:57:32.320
to you and so janice that is a boundary that you can use no one can take what belongs to you

997
00:57:33.280 --> 00:57:37.280
no one can steal who's decided that they belong to you

998
00:57:39.760 --> 00:57:47.360
if someone has decided that they belong to you and you belong to them nobody can take it okay

999
00:57:47.360 --> 00:57:55.360
so nobody can take what belongs to me that is a good boundary i saw yours um angela jella and it

1000
00:57:56.240 --> 00:58:02.640
was i am too old i kind of went up to them five piece tenders y'all got to help me stay on track

1001
00:58:02.640 --> 00:58:09.680
my lord this is scrolling okay i see doubt that a good man will pursue me there is no one um

1002
00:58:09.680 --> 00:58:16.400
intentionally on these dating apps this show feel like it's not funny but i'm just telling you so

1003
00:58:16.960 --> 00:58:22.320
y'all know some of my thoughts are funny too when you actually listen to yourself you'll be like

1004
00:58:23.280 --> 00:58:28.080
it'd be true like you'd be like ah like and i'm trying to like read a bunch of them at the same

1005
00:58:28.080 --> 00:58:35.360
time because we make him create a boundary for a whole group of them okay that god is withholding

1006
00:58:35.360 --> 00:58:41.360
that he is uh withholding back because um you aren't good enough yet like you haven't reached

1007
00:58:41.360 --> 00:58:45.360
the maturity like you're not ready for um or that you just don't deserve it

1008
00:58:45.600 --> 00:58:48.800
yet like you haven't reached the maturity like you're not ready for

1009
00:58:49.360 --> 00:58:56.000
um or that you just don't deserve it maybe your values are too much uh the lie that consistently

1010
00:58:56.000 --> 00:59:00.240
comes to me is that i'll never get married never meet someone who is a good match for me

1011
00:59:00.240 --> 00:59:05.760
my situation is too complicated and it's just not for me okay the type of man i want won't

1012
00:59:06.800 --> 00:59:10.320
type of man you want he ain't gonna want you because you've been divorced twice i got you

1013
00:59:11.280 --> 00:59:17.120
that men don't find me attractive okay girl now to call you we know that's a lie you wrote

1014
00:59:17.120 --> 00:59:23.360
that because you is fine honey you know you're too pretty i'ma keep going i'll just i am not

1015
00:59:23.360 --> 00:59:27.280
boosting your head up every time i look at you i think about how beautiful you are i'm just i'ma

1016
00:59:27.280 --> 00:59:34.560
keep going though um even if i meet my husband i'm going to screw it up good listen y'all know

1017
00:59:34.560 --> 00:59:39.520
if somebody else agree with her just do a little like this i don't know who said priscilla listen

1018
00:59:39.520 --> 00:59:44.400
i'll be seeing when he gets to know me he gonna be like wait a minute i've been told for a very

1019
00:59:44.400 --> 00:59:53.120
long time that i'm a very strong woman and i come out very you know strongly i was a little concerned

1020
00:59:53.120 --> 00:59:59.840
about that um the lie that consistently comes to me is that okay got that one yeah that um you

1021
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.840
been divorced i said i want you um yeah kelly said she's agreed she agrees to jacor you better grab

1022
01:00:05.840 --> 01:00:10.400
this stuff he go your boundary right here they ain't gonna like how i look i already got two

1023
01:00:10.400 --> 01:00:16.320
women to say i'm fine baby and a woman know what look good these men can be moved by makeup and

1024
01:00:16.320 --> 01:00:23.440
you know hair and all this kind of stuff and nails women know all right um but we're gonna okay

1025
01:00:23.520 --> 01:00:29.120
hey i wonder if i'll ever be ready yes and

1026
01:00:32.080 --> 01:00:35.840
yeah marissa she hears all these same ones over and over

1027
01:00:35.840 --> 01:00:40.080
and that i have to sacrifice attraction to find a man of god my god

1028
01:00:44.720 --> 01:00:45.920
why don't we believe

1029
01:00:45.920 --> 01:00:51.120
you then in order for a man to love god he gotta have no eye

1030
01:00:53.120 --> 01:00:57.920
like he gotta be ugly so i'm like what what is that like we're normal people and we love god

1031
01:00:57.920 --> 01:01:03.200
but somehow the enemy has tricked us to believing that you know what that man

1032
01:01:03.200 --> 01:01:06.080
little guy he really probably ain't got nothing going on anyway he ugly

1033
01:01:08.720 --> 01:01:14.960
i know like some of this stuff i see you maria some of these things uh there's this minister

1034
01:01:14.960 --> 01:01:20.240
that i really like him his name is he comes to our church out of backland steve backland and his

1035
01:01:20.240 --> 01:01:26.720
thing is let's just laugh at that so like he says when you hear a lie from the enemy he says your

1036
01:01:26.720 --> 01:01:32.240
response to be let's just laugh at that and so we'll be sitting like the type of you know like

1037
01:01:32.240 --> 01:01:35.920
if you could just say the type of man that i want and this is not against your thinking

1038
01:01:35.920 --> 01:01:38.880
so when the lie comes like the type of man i want he ain't gonna even want me because i've been

1039
01:01:39.440 --> 01:01:41.440
then we'll be like let's just laugh at that and we'll go

1040
01:01:43.360 --> 01:01:48.960
and you think it's fake but it really releases something on the inside of you because the bible

1041
01:01:48.960 --> 01:01:53.280
says it's based on scripture that the lord sits in the heavens and he laughs at the plans of the enemy

1042
01:01:55.120 --> 01:01:59.360
he does he's sitting in heaven he's laughing at the plans of the enemy

1043
01:02:01.440 --> 01:02:03.520
and so the enemy is like let me throw this in there he like

1044
01:02:03.600 --> 01:02:11.280
you really think that it's gonna stop stop what i got playing he don't even give a thought he

1045
01:02:11.280 --> 01:02:18.240
laughs at him it's so funny to him what were you gonna say maria uh i what i meant by my comment

1046
01:02:18.240 --> 01:02:23.840
was just not that i identify with all of them but as i was i listened to them one after the

1047
01:02:23.840 --> 01:02:31.440
other it's like whoa like that's not the god we serve yeah like he has better for us he has good

1048
01:02:31.440 --> 01:02:39.760
for us yeah that's awesome proverbs 31 25 is your favorite is that the one is proverbs 31 he sits in

1049
01:02:39.760 --> 01:02:43.600
the heavens and laughs he who sits in the heaven laughs or what is it priscilla go ahead and share

1050
01:02:43.600 --> 01:02:49.760
it with us um it's the strength and dignity uh are her clothing and she laughs at the time to come

1051
01:02:50.960 --> 01:02:56.960
come on we need to adopt that until i like it too i've seen it on stuff i'd be like yeah she

1052
01:02:56.960 --> 01:03:01.840
laughs at the future because she don't have no fear baby yes i'd be like i'm gonna be her i'm

1053
01:03:01.840 --> 01:03:07.680
gonna laugh at the future so this is what we're gonna do we are going to though we're close to

1054
01:03:07.680 --> 01:03:13.440
time we're gonna take seven minutes i'm gonna put you in groups of two to three and you guys are

1055
01:03:13.440 --> 01:03:18.960
gonna come up in your group with a boundary for that lie that you're believing and if you're

1056
01:03:18.960 --> 01:03:23.920
having a hard time your sister is going to help you what you can also do is so you guys know which

1057
01:03:23.920 --> 01:03:28.160
one you posted you can say i have a boundary for yours and somebody else can give you a boundary for

1058
01:03:28.160 --> 01:03:32.640
the other one that way you won't have to work so hard sometimes something outside of us is powerful

1059
01:03:32.640 --> 01:03:37.520
it brings something to the table that we didn't consider and so let's try it let's just swap over

1060
01:03:37.520 --> 01:03:41.680
somebody takes the other person somebody take this one and somebody takes that person right

1061
01:03:41.680 --> 01:03:45.840
give them the boundary your mind is going to think much faster than them trying to navigate their way

1062
01:03:45.840 --> 01:03:50.400
out of a lie that the enemy keeps presenting to them because of a lot if the enemy presents a lie

1063
01:03:50.400 --> 01:03:53.920
to you accept it trust me you got a laundry list of things to back it up

1064
01:03:57.120 --> 01:04:01.040
it's somehow these things come to you to back it up some stuff is just outright lying you really

1065
01:04:01.040 --> 01:04:06.320
ain't got no way to prove it but other things not so so if y'all are good with that i'm going to

1066
01:04:06.320 --> 01:04:09.760
break us up into a chat room and we're going to stand there seven minutes because i believe that

1067
01:04:09.760 --> 01:04:14.080
the holy spirit is speaking and flowing and i release the flow of the holy spirit over you

1068
01:04:14.080 --> 01:04:18.160
to give you insight and wisdom and give you boundaries that come to your mind very quickly

1069
01:04:18.160 --> 01:04:22.720
that are simple we need simple boundaries to implement because when the thought comes

1070
01:04:22.720 --> 01:04:27.200
you need to be simple with it something that you can quickly say and so i just release the

1071
01:04:27.200 --> 01:04:32.000
wisdom of the holy spirit of each and every one of us that we may build each other in wisdom

1072
01:04:32.000 --> 01:04:37.920
and strength and power and might and i am going to break us up so let's see we need

1073
01:04:41.120 --> 01:04:45.680
yeah i'm gonna put y'all in 10 because that's put you one to two so it's good well we need more than

1074
01:04:45.680 --> 01:04:50.640
two it can't have one put you in nine that puts you two to three all right

1075
01:04:54.240 --> 01:04:59.840
all right open our rooms let's go get it

1076
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:02.640
Yeah, I should be. Yeah, there we go.

1077
01:05:02.640 --> 01:05:12.640
Silence.

1078
01:05:12.640 --> 01:05:22.040
Silence.

1079
01:05:22.040 --> 01:05:24.480
Did it didn't give you all the option.

1080
01:05:24.480 --> 01:05:27.160
No, Audrey, Melissa.

1081
01:05:27.160 --> 01:05:29.840
Do you want to go?

1082
01:05:29.840 --> 01:05:32.040
It actually kicked me out of the meeting.

1083
01:05:32.520 --> 01:05:34.720
Oh no, what kind of foolery is that?

1084
01:05:34.720 --> 01:05:36.120
We're not doing that.

1085
01:05:36.120 --> 01:05:38.120
Let me assign you to a room.

1086
01:05:41.560 --> 01:05:42.240
There we go.

1087
01:05:42.240 --> 01:05:43.280
Thank you.

1088
01:05:43.280 --> 01:05:45.040
You're welcome.