But you love that sound.
That means that Jackie didn't forget to press record.
And that means there's going to be a replay.
And so welcome to our first single spotlight.
Our first love seat, love seat, love seat, love seat.
We are going to do some great vision casting for 25 on Supernatural Saturday this week.
So please be there or be square.
Okay.
Be there for Sunday night activation as well.
If you're not signed up for prophesy your year, guys, we're down to the wire to sign
up for prophesy your year.
It is an extra cost.
I'm so sorry about that.
For those of you that are like, ah, I just can't do it, Jackie.
We made it as inexpensive as possible because it's not our session.
It doesn't belong to us.
And so we, and trust me, it's worth every cent of that 50 bucks and you are going to
get so much from it.
If you can afford it.
I just want to let you guys know, if you cannot be there live, we will also be offering the
replay for half off after the session is over.
So you'll be able to watch the replay.
You won't have the added benefit of breakouts, but you know, you'll get a lot from listening
to the teaching and doing the workbook yourself.
And so we will be doing that.
We do that every year.
For those of you that are like, ah, I just can't swing it, but you can go to Sunday night
activation life.
And we'll be doing some activations around what's your word for the year.
Cause that's what supernatural Saturday is going to be all about getting a vision, right?
Habakkuk say that 20 times really fast.
We're going to talk about getting a vision for our lives.
You guys, God is a God of times and seasons.
There are things available right now because of the calendar page turn that were not available
two days ago.
That's true.
It just is.
And so we're going to be talking about that on supernatural Saturday, we activating that
on Sunday night.
For those of you that in prophesy your year, you're going to be activating that in a whole
different way as well.
And so it's going to be a really great time, no matter where you are.
And so please don't have FOMO.
We love you.
You're not going to miss out on what God has for you, right?
You're not, you're not going to miss out on what God has for you.
Okay.
And so if you're new to love seats, I said it just a few minutes ago, but I'm gonna say
it again.
If you just got to phase three, if you're a guy that just joined our program, we are
so glad to have you here.
And we do this at least once a month, sometimes twice.
And this is our live dating coaching session.
So I answer all of your questions.
You get a little bit of Jackie in this session.
Ask Jackie is back now that our app has the ability to live stream, ask Jackie is back.
And so please, if you're in phase three or the guys group, that's the only people that
are here.
So I'm just talking to y'all go ahead and put your questions and ask Jackie.
And I will be answering those weekly.
Sometimes I'll be answering those publicly.
You guys were expanding.
And the reason why we're expanding is because the more that I get out there, the more that
your spirit mate has a chance to get in the net that I'm throwing out through all of my
marketing.
Guys, I'm going to be on the news tomorrow morning.
I'm going to be on the 7 50 AM Eastern that's 6 50 AM.
See what I do for y'all 6 50 AM central Newsmax morning show.
And so if you're a Newsmax fan, if you watch Newsmax, I will be on with Marty Martin tomorrow
morning at 7 50 AM talking about what singles can do differently in the new year.
And just so you guys know, when I do that, people see us, guess who mostly watches Newsmax
men.
And they're going to see me there.
And then they're going to go and look for me because they're going to tell them how
to find me.
And they're going to go look for me on, on our website, by the way, Jackie doorman.com
is up.
If you see any typos there, please let us know because we threw it up pretty fast in
order to take advantage of all of these new people that are coming at us.
And the more that they come at us, the more that we are able to introduce them to you.
And so we are constantly creating new opportunities to bring new marriage minded singles, men and
women into the program, because that is how this works.
God gave me a word at the beginning of this year, I was in New York city for a single
city for a single city for a single city for singles.
And he told me about three different types of nets that we needed to throw out in order
to pull in the harvest, which is the revival of marriage and family.
So we've had all kinds of new people, both men and women join this year.
You guys, we've had hundreds and hundreds of success stories this year.
We've had over a hundred, possibly close to 200 people get engaged and married this year,
just in the last 24 hours.
I think that I saw four or five engagement announcements.
This is the time of year for that.
But I will tell you that we are so excited about the unions that are being made because
of the things that we do here.
And you guys are part of that as well.
In fact, just recently, uh, actually yesterday, not recently yesterday, I heard about, I heard
about, I heard about, I heard about by someone else in this community and that becoming a
very serious relationship that is marriage minded right now.
and looks like it's headed towards the altar.
You guys, that happens.
We've had at least a handful of people
get matched by other people in this community
with someone that they knew,
someone that they were friends with,
someone that went to their church,
maybe even a family member.
We have at least one beautiful woman in this group
that saw a single spotlight of one of my students' clients,
and she showed it to her brother,
and now her brother is married
to that beautiful young woman,
and she has a new sister,
and she's in this group, and now it's her turn.
I believe what you help make happen for others,
God will do for you,
and so I'm gonna be on Newsmax.
I have another Christian Post article.
I have an op-ed on Christian Post coming out tomorrow.
Guys, I'm gonna put the link up on my social media.
We'll also put it up in your groups.
Please blow it up.
Don't just share it, comment on it,
because the people that comment on it,
bless their hearts, they're weird.
I love them, I bless them,
but I don't know what rock they've been living under.
The things that they're saying make no sense,
and the scriptures that they're sharing
have no context to the article, okay?
There's a lot of people that are stuck in religion.
I really hope they get free,
but in the meantime, they're hanging out
in the comment section of the Christian Post,
and they need people with a fresh perspective
to come and comment there, and you never know.
You might actually, besides not the weird people
that need a lot of stuff, a lot of breakthrough,
a lot of delivery, a lot of delivery,
be some other well-positioned Christians in the comments.
You never know, you could meet your spirit mates
in the comment stream of a dating article.
It's happened.
Do you guys know that one of my success stories,
the people actually met in the comments of one of my posts.
One of my posts.
They are happily married,
and you guys, you just never know.
You never know where that can happen
and how that's going to happen
and when that's going to happen,
and so it's really great for us to always be prepared.
I did a little video today while I was out and about,
actually running errands,
trying to return Christmas presents
that either didn't fit or weren't right,
and I saw a big wall painted with the word love.
Go check it out on my Instagram stories.
If you don't follow me at Jackie Dorman Official,
definitely follow me over there,
because once again, you might meet someone from the public
in the comments,
and especially as more and more people
find out what we do here.
So we are going,
bing, bing, bing.
Am I good?
Am I buffering at all?
Give me a thumbs up.
You're like repeating a lot.
It's coming on my end too.
Okay, okay.
Well, I might have a little bit of a signal lag.
Let me try to figure that out.
Lots of skipping.
Okay.
Okay, thanks Hunter.
We got it.
Echoing.
Okay, let us figure that out for one second
before we go.
Okay, you guys,
we just checked the internet connection and it's strong.
Is it still happening?
Is it still happening, you guys?
Am I skipping?
Am I echoing?
It sounds okay right now,
and you were good for a little bit,
and then it would just hit that.
I did look up.
It doesn't say that Zoom's experiencing
any kind of widespread issues today,
so it might just be an internet issue.
Okay.
Okay, can you move the stuff back over?
Okay, guys, if that happens,
please post in the comments
so that I know that it's happening
because on my side, there's no echo.
Okay, all right.
So all kinds of new and amazing things are happening.
Please look at the calendar for January.
We have all kinds of really fun and great stuff in store.
I am going to,
I don't know,
but I'm going to have a really fun and great stuff in store.
I am going to be in DC in February
for the National Prayer Breakfast,
and then I will be in New York City
the very next weekend in February,
and so we're working on some fun things.
We have a Singles Conference in Jersey.
And in New York in March we'll be posting about all of this and i'm going to be working with someone ladies if you've always wanted to optimize your beautiful.
color i'm going to be working with a celebrity color matcher she's gonna do my colors and then i'm going to make it available for you to have your colors done kind of in a group format, so that it's affordable and.
And an available for you, but I will tell you, I have a celebrity client that their colors with this specific person and they look like a totally different person.
It you'd be amazed at how much of a change, you can get from just working with what is flattering to you and so i'm excited about all of that stuff.
We have a car to Hannah trip if you haven't registered for that that is a ladies only trip, we are working on a singles cruise for the fall.
But if you haven't registered for that and you're planning on doing it, please do it as soon as possible, pay your deposit there's a deadline on that you can find all of this to sign up for prophesy your year the car to Hannah trip.
If you didn't sign up to watch me as a guest on the wisdom challenge i'm proverb 10 so i'm day 10 January 10.
And please, even if you signed up somewhere else, because you heard me talk about it, and you went and found the sign up sign up through the link that I that I put up in your in your resource.
pages of your APP because there's gonna be special bonus content that you will be able to get the special bonus session that you'll be able to get if you sign up through.
That link and so make sure that you do that as well Okay, and so, without further ado we're going to go ahead and start single spotlights.
i'm excited about this this new year you guys i'm very excited i'm kind of person who's usually excited about the new year, because I love.
New opportunities I love times and seasons, I believe that the seal breaks off of us in areas where God we get access to things that God has been.
holding back for for for us, not from us, but for us as an inheritance and now we're you know mature enough to handle it.
And for those of you that don't feel like maybe you're mature enough to handle it you're like I don't know if God's going to give it to me i've kind of screwed up this year.
been pretty negative this year it's been a hard year for me year for me year for me year for me fallen I feel a Holy Spirit on this I fallen into some sin this year I.
didn't wait on God I got myself involved in a bunch of crazy that doesn't disqualify you.
It doesn't it doesn't mean that God's not going to upgrade you it doesn't mean that at all, and so, as long as you're making the next right decision, as long as you have turned away from that.
And you've turned back towards God, then you are just as eligible as anybody else for upgrade, and so I just want to let you know that.
For anyone who might be struggling with feelings of shame or feelings with our feelings of not being worthy we're none of us are worthy good news for you right.
If you feel like you're unworthy you're right, you definitely are because we all are and so that's why it's important to understand the finished work of the cross.
Okay, so we're going to go ahead and david's over here doing a little it stuff making sure i'm not echoing am I not echoing.
My good.
You did it a little bit Jackie it was repeating.
Okay.
Go ahead and.
happens here and there it's not like it's not like yeah.
Okay, you guys if you guys could just let me know in the comments when i'm echoing because i'm going to keep going and.
I know you guys want to help out, but if we start unmuting ourselves, then what's going to happen is is that.
i'm going to echo them people are going to be talking and then it's just going to for the for the replay it's going to be kind of confusing.
And so let's go ahead, if you guys if it's lagging for you repeating or echoing just make sure that you're putting that in the comments for me and i'll make sure that i'm looking at that out of the corner of my eye Okay, so let me get our first spotlight up.
To a guy that I have known for a couple years now he is an og in this community and he hasn't been around a lot lately because his mother was elderly and she was ill.
And now she has gone on to be with Jesus, and so we definitely have stood with him in solidarity and in prayer during these last.
years and months and weeks of his mom's life and so he's such a good son not only because he's a good son, but because he's a good father.
just to father God, but also to his mother.
And so he is back now with us and I'm excited to be able to spotlight him
tonight. And so I'm going to go ahead and do that.
So I'll introduce you to my friend, Ty Buchanan. Ty, it's so good to see you.
I'm going to also, um, I'm going to also spotlight myself so that people
don't forget that I'm here too. Okay.
All right, here we go. Oh, you guys, I have on this,
I have on this NBC sweatshirt, see the peacock I have on the NBC sweatshirt.
That was actually given to me by a student that works for NBC when I was in
New York a year or so ago. Um, and her name is Carol.
I was thinking about her today and then I put on the sweatshirt because I
believe that God is speaking a word about her.
And so I'm activating it by wearing this peacock sweatshirt. Okay.
So Ty is with us. So Ty, first and foremost, tell us a little bit about yourself.
Tell us, you know, where you live,
what you're up to besides taking care of mom.
Now that you have so much bandwidth that has been returned. Um,
what are you up to in the season and where, where do you live at?
Um, I live in Amarillo, Texas. Um, and, uh,
mom passed away on December 3rd. And, um,
actually with everything that was going on and Jackie knows quite a bit about it.
Um, it's really,
um, I'm at more peace now than I was before. Um, you know,
she, she had dementia real bad and she's in a whole lot better place.
And I just keep thinking about the peace that she has now. And, um, right now,
what I'm doing, I'm, uh, to fill in all that time.
Cause I did spend a lot of time with her. Um,
I've been going to the gym a lot more getting back into that. Um,
I'm trying to figure out Substack and started blog,
which it's like learning a whole new language for me, but I'll get there.
That's awesome. I love that. That is so good.
So you like to write and that's fun. You are funny.
Someone's on here. I think it's Carla saying that you're funny and it's true.
You are. Um, obviously I don't know if I'm going to set you up to be funny
tonight, but if you know him, then you know that he is funny. And, uh,
and so Amarillo, that is where the cotton bowl is.
Isn't that where the cotton bowl is about to be in Amarillo?
More likely Dallas. Oh, it is Arlington, Arlington. It's in Arlington. Okay.
I was going to say, Hey, the Buckeyes are going to be playing in Texas. All right.
So you live in Amarillo. And so for people who don't know where Amarillo is,
which includes me, uh, kind of give us an idea of where that is.
It's in the panhandle.
How far it's about. Yeah.
It's about nine hours from. Okay. So it's not so nine hours.
So it's not in your, how far away is it from Dallas?
Uh, Dallas is about five and a half.
Okay. All right. Okay. So there you guys can have it. That is where he is.
And so is it close to Oklahoma? Is it close to
Canada? I'm closer to New Mexico. Well,
the Oklahoma panhandle and New Mexico border are probably pretty close to the
same distance. Eastern Oklahoma. I'm closer to Western New Mexico.
Oh, wait. Okay. That's backwards. So there you guys have it.
Oh, yeah. Okay. You guys take that and switch it.
And then you have, then you have what the truth is. So, um, so Ty, how let's,
let's talk about your love life. All right.
Obviously it's been on a back burner for a while now because mom and you know,
that's very,
I believe God's going to accelerate you in so many areas because of, you know,
doing that and putting family first,
because that's so important to the Lord and to, and to his heart.
And so let me ask you this, what
have you been? I mean, I know everything about you,
but I'm going to ask it so that people can,
that you can answer and people can hear it. So have you been married before?
No.
Okay. Never been married y'all. All right. Do you have any children?
Yes. I have a 31 year old son and a new grandbaby, new granddaughter.
Oh, that's exciting. A new granddaughter, a 31 year old son.
And can you relocate from Amarillo?
Um, since mom's passed away, that's a, that's a possibility now.
Okay.
But go ahead.
What are you doing for vocation? What are you doing for work?
What are you up to right now?
I work for a physician, surgical hospitals. It's part of Arden.
And, uh, I work at, I do maintenance at two hospitals,
Panhandle Surgical and Quail Creek Surgical.
Imaging Center and Quail Creek Physical Therapy.
So there's four buildings that, uh, that I work on.
Okay.
And it's pretty cool.
And everyone's going to ask how old you are.
So how old are you?
You have a 31 year old son.
Yeah, I just turned 55, uh, the 28th, this past Saturday.
55 double grace, double grace year.
Guys, I'm going to be 50 years old in 14 days.
I'm right behind you.
I'm going to catch up probably maybe.
Okay.
So, um, go ahead and post in the chat.
If you are 50 or over, let's go ahead and see, I want to see
who in our community is 50 or over.
We're not leaving out all you 40 somethings.
Okay.
Or 30 somethings or 20 somethings.
I just want to see how many people are old enough to know better in here.
50, 54, 56, 53.
Look at all of those folks have some people in their sixties
have people in their seventies.
59.
Look at all those folks.
Okay.
Lots and lots and lots and lots of people in their fifties and sixties.
Did you guys know that they say the most productive years of
your life are from 60 to 70?
And the most, uh, the second most productive years of your life
are from 50 to 60 to 60 to 60 to 60.
Third, most productive years of your life are from 70 to 80.
What in the world?
Okay.
And what does that mean?
It doesn't mean productive less as of what it means is that if you do the
work when you're younger, then those are the years when you're going to have,
you know, the most things come out of it, the most Nobel peace prize
winners and all that they're over 60.
Like you understand what I'm saying?
So if you put the work in now, friends, that means that you are going to
reap the benefits of that, of that, of that, of that, uh, that is great.
Okay.
Um, I'm repeating again.
Yeah, I am.
All right now I'm echoing.
All right.
I hate you guys.
We have to get this worked out before the news tomorrow.
What's going to happen?
It's not going to be good.
This is a bad situation.
Okay.
All right.
I'm not doing it right now.
Ty.
No.
Okay.
Um, so tell us, you know, you've been single for a long time.
When's the last time that you had a relationship, like a real serious
relationship, how long, um, well, that would be a, well, of course, Donna,
you, you know, Donna and, uh, three years ago, two, two and a half years ago.
And I've dated, uh, I've, I've had several dates and, um, had one lady that
I, we dated for about three months or so, but it was just really hard for me to.
Be myself with everything that was going on, you know, cause, uh, it was just,
uh, not knowing what was going to happen that day with mom and then it was just
hard, you know, and she, she recognized that too.
But now that mom has gone on to be with Jesus, are you wanting
to revisit that relationship?
Uh, probably not.
Okay.
All right.
So he is single and ready to mingle y'all.
There's no situationships hanging on.
All right.
There isn't, um, uh, you know, do, are you, are you open to long distance?
It's hard.
Yeah.
Tell us the truth.
Are you open to getting to know someone long distance?
Okay.
All right.
So ladies, you're free to ask questions.
We'll take questions for about four minutes for Ty.
Cause we have two other single spotlights that we need to do tonight.
So if you have any questions for him, please go ahead and put them in the chat
and you guys, let's, let's be courteous with our questions.
All right there.
If you wouldn't ask it, you know, if you wouldn't ask it on a
first date, don't ask it here.
Okay. And hopefully you've learned a lot from me about what's appropriate to ask.
Michelle wants to know if you like horses.
Yes.
I worked for a company called Robinson's family feed for a while.
And, uh, I didn't know that I liked horses until I worked there and I was a
warehouse manager and delivery driver.
And I really fell in love with them.
Oh, I love that.
What's your favorite book that you've ever read?
Um, I would say, um, one that I just read, uh, the war of art.
The war.
Yeah. I've seen that book.
It was an amazing book and I'm, I'm reading another one, uh, right now.
And as soon as I get done with that one, I'm going to go back and reread it.
Okay.
That's awesome.
What about those photographs behind you?
Are you a photographer?
Did you take those pictures or those?
No, those were, uh, we, we, that was a Christmas gift.
It was kind of a white elephant deal.
And that's what I picked.
I've never actually been to New York.
Oh, you need to go to New York.
It's great.
I love it.
I love New York.
Um, Leslie says she just wants to commend you for taking care of your mom.
She said that speaks volumes about you, which I agree.
Um, let's see.
Thank you.
Okay, we have people asking questions about different things, different things, different things, different things that moderators if you can take care of that.
Okay.
Yes, somebody posted it sounds like sounds like max headroom and that's what it does just.
That's not what it is. Hold on.
I've never said max headroom is definitely dating themselves, for sure, but am I good now.
So far,
I hear myself somewhere Do you have something on someplace.
Okay.
All right. I'm just talking to David so am I good. Everything sound good now, we replaced the battery so we think that it was a battery situation. All right, y'all.
Here we go.
All right, we figured that out before tomorrow so I'm not, I'm not repeating myself like max headroom, raise your hand if you know what that is.
If you know what max headroom is, raise your hand, and you might.
Oh so many people. Okay. All right. Wonderful. Okay.
It was a show you guys, it was show from a long time ago. Do you guys did you guys know, did you do you know that, that the way I just heard this the other day was crazy for a second let me think for a second.
The year 2000 is as close to now as it is to 1975.
Because it's like doesn't seem like just the other day 2000 happened and why 2k and we were like, ah, it's like that literally it's like halfway between 1975 and now and so it's just close as there to there and I know that because I was born in 1975,
because I'm about turn 50 years old. Okay, so let's see.
Do you like cooking at home or eating out and if you'd like to eat out, what is your what just what's your favorite meal in general do you like cooking at home or eating out.
Um, I like both.
I'm not much for cook but I'm learning.
But, like, I don't know we got quite a bit of stuff I like sushi I like steak I like vegan.
I like quite a bit of stuff. I don't like tomatoes.
I don't think you never got married. You don't like tomatoes. No, there's David, David doesn't like either texture texture thing for him.
But yeah, kind of for me too, but, um, the well the reason I never got married.
was probably about eight or 10 years old, and he just bought a bar, and so I kind of wound up being raised in the bar.
And for, and then you know once I turned 21 I worked in the bar till I was about 36 and that that's kind of another story there too but all I saw relationship wise was the worst of it.
Yeah, all the divorce parties I saw you know the, the, the phone calls you know and all the guys say no tell her I'm not here I just saw the crappy stuff of relationships.
And to me that was something I didn't want part of.
And then, whenever I turned 36 this is being pretty transparent here I went to prison for a year.
It wasn't any violence or anything it was a DWI like a small possession charge, and I've actually my birthday.
Saturday was not that made 19 years, the start of my 20th year of sober, being sober.
And, but, congratulations. Thank you. I found Jesus in Rambo County Jail before I, you know, went down to the safety unit.
And
at that.
But, okay, whenever I got out I started going to a Trinity Fellowship, and, you know, Jackie knows Dub, Dub's a real good friend of mine, Dub Alexander, and got to know him and everything but
the, whenever I got out of prison and got back home that's whenever I started seeing what a real relationship supposed to be like started hanging around people that you know had 3040
50 years of marriage and, and seeing the beauty in that and what God can do, if you allow that to,
you know, allow him to work with you, you know, and, um, my whole perspective changed
whenever I got out of prison on, on relationships. So that's pretty much, you know, that we're talking
about 20 years ago, he's been walking with Jesus for 20 years now, he's been sober for 20 years.
And so, um, it's wonderful. I love it. I love your backstory. Um, I, you know, I know that it was
hard to live through those things, but I think that that makes you, that makes you, that makes
you, that makes you, um, for the people that God puts in your path and that you can relate to things
that they, they're going through and things that they have gone through. And so that's wonderful.
So I can attest that Ty is a follower of Jesus, um, and everything is doing good. I'm repeating
again. Okay. All right, guys, I don't know what's wrong. We fixed the battery, but it's not working.
So that's not good because we got to figure this out before tomorrow. Okay. So if you guys want to
get to know Ty more, please email us at admin at Jackie Dorman.com, put the word Ty T Y in the
subject line. Okay. Make sure that you include a bio and you include some recent pictures of
yourself and we will get back to you if we, if there's a, if there's a match. Okay. We'll let
Ty take a look at those profiles. We'll get back to you if there's a match. All right. So Ty,
anything else you want to share before we go ahead and move on? Cause I just, I don't know
what's going on with the repeating, but we're going to try our best. Uh, no, just, uh, I
appreciate doing this. This has, this has been really neat. She got you. The very first night
that I came on three years ago, it was, uh, there was me and three other guys and everybody was
asking us questions. He said, she said, yeah, I think. Yeah. And that was the first time I
was even on one of these zooms and she put me on there and yeah, I was pretty, I was pretty nervous.
But you know, you, you did a lot, you did a lot, uh, you did a lot of hard work in the last three
years and a lot of different things happened. And you know, I just think it's awesome. And we're so
glad that you're part of this community. These are the kind of guys that we have in this community,
ladies, just amazing guys, thought of the earth, wonderful, um, followers of Jesus and, uh, just,
and just great friends, great sons, great fathers. And so we're so glad to have you with us. All
right. So I'm going to go ahead and jump to our next don't forget, email us put tie in the subject
line, please include a bio or some in some pictures. Otherwise, um, you're going to make
us do a lot of footwork going to find your, your spirit mate match profile. Okay. So we don't want
to do that. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that or to not do
it. All right. I'm going to, all right. It's just me back now. All right. We're going to go ahead
and we want to do these a little quicker so that we can, um, get to love seats tonight.
So our next, um, our next single spotlight is also an OG who's been with us for quite some time.
Also another great guy that we are proud to have in this community. And I'd like to introduce all
of you ladies to Mr. Paul Brandt. I have a funny story to tell you about Paul and I call him tall
Paul. Okay. And the reason why is because I'm five 10, as you guys know, I was talking about
being really tall, but before I met him in person, cause Paul and I have met in person, but before I
met him in person, you know, I was just talking to the guys and I was, I was asking him how tall
they were, you know, cause you know, you ladies, you're always like, how tall are they? You know,
they, you know, they, you know, they, you know, I thought Paul looked tall, like a taller guy,
you know, sitting in his chair. And I was just like, Hey Paul, how tall are you? You know?
And I expected him to, you know, say like, you know, six, three or something. And what did you
say, Paul? I said my height, six, 11, probably. Did I lie to you? Okay. But when he says that guy,
no, you know, you said six 11, but when you said that, like, because I was joking around about how
women want really tall men. And when he said six 11, I thought he was kidding. I was like, Oh,
whatever. You know, you're almost seven feet tall. Yeah, sure. Whatever, you know, kind of thing.
But he wasn't kidding. And he's like, no, I'm serious, Jack. And I'm like, Oh, wow. And then
I met him in person and guess what? It's, it's the truth because I'm five 10 and I was just like,
hi. And I love that because I always feel taller than everybody in the room. And I felt really
little, I felt like a little petite woman and and I'm not. Okay. So we love Paul. Paul's been
around for a while also.
someone that has been, you know, or someone who has shown
themselves to be another, you know, wonderful friend and
brother to ladies here and just all kinds of different wonderful
things. And so, Paul, I know you, but I'm gonna ask you a lot
of questions so that other people get to know you. So where
do you live? And what are you up to? What do you do for a living?
What are you into? What are your hobbies?
Yeah, so I live in Whittier, California. So that's about it's
kind of in between downtown LA and Orange County. Maybe a
little bit closer to the Orange County side. I am. I'm a special
education teacher. And I got two dogs. They're, they're like my,
my fur babies. So I do a lot of things with them. I like to be
outside, take them for hikes and go to the...
What kind of dogs do you have?
Big dogs. I mean, you know, like I have a German, my, my girl dog
Hope, she's, she's a German Shepherd and a little bit of
like the Malinois, the Belgian Shepherd, like the police dog.
So she's like, needs a lot of walks and, you know, got a lot
of energy, but she's a sweetheart. And then I got my
buddy. His name is Buddy. And he's a flat quarter. Yeah,
unusual name for a dog, right? But I don't always wanted ever
since I used to live in Oklahoma, I live in Tulsa,
Oklahoma for six years, I went to college out there. And one
semester in college, my, my friend had a dog named Buddy.
And I thought that I thought that was the coolest thing. So
then when I got to really live that out as an adult, I said,
I'm naming him Buddy kind of kind of looks similar to Buddy.
But yeah, so I spent time with my dogs. I like to do stuff
outside. I'm a DI, kind of DIY guy, like, you know, try to be
a try to think I'm handy, and do try things. And, you know, I
might, I might include a lot of YouTube video videos, but I want
to try something. I, I'm kind of like Ty in terms of like, I, I
enjoy cooking. I'm not real good at it. But it's like something
that I started doing when I moved into this place. And I
just, I'm not like, I'm not going to cook for 10 people. But
I can like contribute, I like to team cook with people. And
because I like to eat good food. And that usually includes
Italian food, because on my mom's side, I'm Italian. So
it's kind of hard to beat that, in my opinion. But I like all
kinds of different food. And yeah, I'll probably love that.
Or I can just stop there for now.
No, no, I love it. I love all those things. And so Paul, have
you ever been married?
Never been married.
Okay, never married. And do you have any kids?
No kids.
Okay. And do you still want to have children?
So when it comes to kids, I definitely I love kids. I did
youth ministry for a long time, kids ministry at my church. And
then being a teacher, you know, I was around kids a lot. And now
I'm not nearly as much. I serve a different population. Now,
like young adults in special needs. But I would love to be
around kids in some shape, shape, or fashion. And
biological, you know, or, or otherwise. I think I'd like that
in my life in some capacity, for sure.
I think you'd make a phenomenal father. And so I think that
would be great. Father figure. Do what?
Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt. I was I'm kind of a big kid. I
like to play. I like to play. And I like, you know, just
things, sports and stuff. Yeah. So yeah. Oh, Paul, how old are
you? I'll be 49 in 10 days.
Exactly. Your birthday is right before mine. 12. What are you
the 16th?
Huh? Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Anyway, baby. All right. Yeah. And you're just
right behind me. 49. I'm turning 50. I'll just I'll check it out
and let you know how it is. Okay. I'll check it out. I'll
cross over to the new era. And I'll I'll let you know, I'll let
you know if you should come over or not. I'll be like, Oh, I
don't know.
But hey, so Paul, what are you what are you looking for in a
woman? What's the closest that you've gotten to getting
married? You don't have to tell us the whole situation. But like
how long ago was it that you were in your most serious
relationship of your life?
Oh, that's a good question. I mean, there was one that just
ended in a few months ago, that was the longest was eight and a
half months. And that was kind of, you know, we started doing
work towards, you know, premarital type of stuff.
It was one of those like you do premarital stuff to discover if you're compatible
and we just discovered kind of mutually.
It's not in the same kind of season or same want the same things.
And and then but then a couple years in 2021,
I was engaged. I was married.
I was engaged to after about six and a half months
and and then kind of the same thing kind of started going through stuff
and that didn't work out.
So those are my two longest relationships.
Those of you that are asking about age, it's about season.
Let's match season. So you heard what Paul is wanting in life.
He's wanting obviously a partner. He wants to be around children.
So whether you have children already or you're still into having some biological children,
and that's what you want to do. Paul,
what else are you looking for in a spirit mate besides building a family together
whether that family already exists or that family is going to be birthed through the two of you?
What else are you looking for?
You know, I've always had a heart for ministry.
I love and I just love one of the things that I enjoyed ministry,
but then I always had this feeling like I kind of like working as a team,
a member of a team and I had good teams, you know, we had good teams in the church,
but I kind of wanted like a partner to do ministry with whatever that looks like.
I mean, it doesn't have to be formal.
Sometimes just being able to have people over at your house can impact people like life group kind of things.
And so I think I'd like somebody on the definitely on the same page that wants to,
you know, spread the love of God and sees the kingdom doesn't has no has no limits.
And that's why I like this community because kingdom minded matchmaking.
But besides that,
Yeah, I do. I do like to get out there and be outside and travel some.
I haven't been traveling as much the last few years,
but sometimes it could be a small thing like, you know, go to do a day trip somewhere,
explore a city or your own city. So those types of things and culture.
I like culture, you know, like Broadway or you know,
like a show or, you know, different trying experience of experiencing a different type of cuisine like that.
It kind of anything that, you know, it has to do with different cultures usually,
you know, attracts me in some way, shape or form.
So things like that that we kind of kind of learn together grow together.
That's a thing somebody to grow with, you know, I'm not perfect and I've done a lot of work,
you know, hard work kind of stuff and I'm looking for somebody willing to like go there
and just build a build something real, you know,
something intimate that comes from being honest with each other with where we're at,
you know, that's that's I mean just full disclosure.
That's why the last relationship ended because she just wasn't wanting to go there
and not to paint her out as a bad person.
I'm not, you know, but it's just I realized that
and it's a learning experience, right?
Like I want to be with somebody that wants to grow together.
I think Raul, you know, Raul, you put that on Facebook.
Yeah, really stuck out to me just finding the right person,
but the person that can grow with and like that.
Yeah, that's exactly what God wants for all of you as far as Kingdom marriage.
Kingdom marriage is a marriage where you have room to grow where you're growing.
You're both growing. You're both evolving.
You're both becoming better versions of yourselves and it's important.
It's important to understand that and Paul you've done so much work.
You've changed so much since I've known you
and you've really you know pressed in to be able to you know,
change attachment styles that were not serving you in order to become more vulnerable
and more open and I'm proud of you.
So all of our guys all of our guys ladies have done their hard work.
And so we're really glad that you guys have stuck in it to do that.
So, let's see. What else kind of questions do people have?
Are you able to relocate?
I yes, I am. I don't have anything tying me here outside of you know,
just job and things like that. I do.
I do have some family here, but you know, I'm open-minded to it.
I'll put it that way. Okay.
All right. So if you think that you're a match for Paul, he's young at heart you guys.
He's really active. He might be 49 years old,
but he's very young at heart. You can see he's a big kid.
He's going to want to play. He's going to want to cut up joke around.
So if you're real like stiff and you know, you got to stick up your butt.
You're probably not going to be the right match for him.
Okay, you don't have to be tall. He is tall though.
So remember, you know, if you're only five feet tall,
you're going to probably need a ladder here. That's all right.
He'll pick you up. It'll be all right. It'll all work out.
You don't have to wear heels. It's okay. Just be yourself.
Um, yeah, he currently is in Whittier, California, but he is willing to relocate.
Uh, he is pretty established.
So he's been there for a while.
So, and it's beautiful.
You guys, California is gorgeous.
I know that it's complicated a lot politically and financially
as far as the fiscal landscape.
But, um, he's been able to make it work.
And Paul, did you decorate your house here?
Is this your house behind you?
That's Hobby Lobby.
I should have that behind me because it's like after new year's, but you know what?
I'll put it, I'll bring it down.
No, it's okay.
Listen, there's no shame in your game.
I left my tree up till May one year, for real.
This is only two days into the new year.
You're good.
And besides it shows ladies that, you know, you, you've got a little bit of a
flair, um, to decorate.
You remember ladies, he is a project guy.
DIY likes to get his hands into some stuff.
Um, and if you have kids, sorry to interrupt Jackie, but like, uh, me and my
buddy Rob, you know, at an Airbnb in Atlanta, and I saw that and I love that
artist and so I don't know, it's just like two spirits, it's like called like
two spirits by the lake or something like that, anyway, spirit mates.
I love it.
I love it, you guys.
So if you're, you're still raising kids, um, you know, Paul's looking to
help someone, uh, to raise a family.
And then if you're still wanting to have children, he's up for that as well.
So put Paul B the letter B is in boy put Paul B because we have
another Paul in our community.
And so put Paul B in the subject line.
Remember to include a bio and pictures.
Please do not email us over and over and over again.
We got your spotlight.
If you sent it, we got your information.
And if we think it's a match, if Paul thinks it's a match, um, if we want
to make an introduction, then we will reach out to you and it'll be great.
And remember there's more, there's more spotlights where these came from.
So do not have FOMO.
All right.
So Paul, thanks so much.
Is there anything that you want to say before we sign off and go to
our last spotlight of the night?
Happy new year, everybody.
That's it.
Happy new year.
Happy new year, Paul.
All right.
Happy new year.
Thanks, Paul.
All right.
And final spotlight.
This, this guy is a little bit newer to me.
Um, and, uh, but I have, I have introduced him to and sent him on a few
dates since he's been, uh, around me and part of the community and all those
ladies, uh, reported back that he was a great, he was a great, he was a great,
he was a great, um, and so I've known him for, I think about a year now.
And so everyone, I'd love for you to meet Scott.
This is Scott.
All right.
You move, you've moved a couple of times since you and I have known each other.
And so where are you right now?
Where do you live?
Yeah, I think we've, we've known a little over a year and I've moved.
This is my third city, uh, since January 2nd, last year, I'm
in the Detroit area right now.
Suburbs of Detroit.
I'm so sorry.
I was kidding.
It's coming back.
There's a really lot of, there's a lot of great cities around Detroit.
Let's say that.
Yes, there is.
There is.
And listen, Detroit is getting re gentrified.
I was in Detroit a couple of years ago and it's really come back.
All of these, all of these steel cities and these manufacturing cities,
cause I was born in Cleveland.
So Cleveland, Detroit, Pittsburgh, you know, Milwaukee, they're,
they're, they're coming back.
And so, and we're, and we're glad about that.
I wasn't, I know you were in Cleveland.
And so you just moved there.
So you're probably not trying to relocate right now.
Uh, I mean, work, I can kind of go over the call over the country.
Um, so I'm still open to it.
And I've lived in an Airbnb life for the last year because I'm
moving and things like that.
So not tied down, pretty simple to leave.
Okay.
So it is simple to leave.
He can relocate, but if you are in any of these surrounding areas of Detroit,
so if you're in Cleveland, Cleveland's one Cleveland's one Cleveland's one
Cleveland's very far away from Detroit in Ohio.
Um, there's some, also some other places that are close.
My geography is bad past Ohio and Michigan.
So, uh, um, so.
It's possibility.
It can meet halfway an hour and a half each way to meet up for a date.
It would be great.
So Scott, tell us about yourself.
How old are you?
Have you ever been married?
I am 40 years old and I've never been married.
No kids, guys, all three, all three of our spotlight.
I have never been married tonight for all of you ladies that are like, Oh,
I'm the only person left in the world. That's never been married.
That's not true. All right. So 40 years old, no kids,
but you do want to have children, correct? Yeah, absolutely.
You'd like to have some kids. Yep. All right.
Like to have some kids. So Paul, tell us, you know, how,
why do you think that you're not married?
How close have you gotten to being married and how long have you been single
and out of a relationship?
Oh, there's a couple of relationships I thought might lead to marriage.
Last one would have been ended in summer of 2023,
I guess now I'm trying to get my years right.
So I think the biggest thing for me is just having found that right person that
we fit together for that, you know, to build that,
build life together. So, um, great people, uh, great, great women. Um,
but we just weren't, weren't the ones for each other at that point.
Okay. It's fair. And a lot of you have the same similar stories as that.
So, and how long have you, so summer,
summer of 23 is the last relationship. Is that right? Yeah.
Okay. Summer of 23. So, and of course you've been here and you've been doing
hard work and been healing and making sure that all of those things are unpacked
in order to start fresh and new. And so tell us, uh,
besides working and you like work in like sales, right.
Some kind of sales situation. Yeah. Yeah. I'm in sales leadership at a,
at a home services contractor. So,
okay. Besides your job, what are you into?
Uh, yeah. I love my work, love my job. But besides that, uh,
I'd love to be active. Uh, I like to play basketball, play basketball at this point,
try to get once a week. Um, used to be two or three times a week,
but my back doesn't enjoy two or three times a week as often.
Um, yeah, I mean, play golf in the summer.
I like to fly fish, snowboard, um,
living in Michigan and the Midwest makes that tough. Um,
but there's a few areas. Uh,
I didn't just really like to spend time with my family and friends.
I'm like, I'm up for anything. I'll never be the guy that says let's go hiking,
but I'll go hiking if you suggest it. Um, so I just want to, you know,
spend quality time with quality people is really what the,
is the most important for me.
Where's your, where's your family at now? Where are you originally from?
Uh, well, I'm originally from Oklahoma. Um, I have,
I have, um, some family in central Pennsylvania,
a brother and his six kids with his wife,
my parents and another brother and niece and nephew,
his wife are in Indianapolis,
where I was at before Cleveland. So that was my, that's where I started last year.
That's right. Yes. You were in Indianapolis and you're in Cleveland and now you're
in Detroit. Okay. Yep. All right. So spending time with your family,
that's great. Okay. And then of course,
all three guys for tonight are really, um,
strong disciples of Christ ladies.
They have their relationships with Jesus. Uh, they're not, you know,
they're not just marginal Christians. And so Scott,
tell us a little bit about your, your spiritual life.
Yeah. Well, I mean, I grew up in church. Uh, my, uh,
my family was very involved. Um, multiple pastors in my family, my,
my grandparent, both my grandpa's actually ended up being pastors.
I never met my mom's dad until I was like 18, but he had,
surprisingly, um, was the pastor too,
even though they hadn't seen each other in, you know, a long time. Um,
but just grew up around church. Uh, I'd say when I went to college in my,
you know, early twenties, I had that, I guess,
rebel you would say rebellious stage because all I knew was church and I was,
I just got to kind of figure my life out. I guess I thought there was something
better out there, um, that it was not true. Um,
so thankfully that I guess you'd say that heritage of just growing up in some
church, um, just brought me back to where, where the truth is. Um,
and so that's over the last year that has been tough when I moved to Cleveland,
like leaving a good church, good friends and small groups, things like that.
Finding a good church in Cleveland was difficult. Just trying other places.
Some of the best churches I found were 40 minutes plus away. Um,
here in Detroit, I've been very thankful. I found a really good church.
That's 15, 20 minutes away. Um,
and I've been able to get started getting plugged in. I guess.
I've only been here for a few months and done some travel with work and stuff,
but getting that plugged in has been very nice. Um,
so that's a kind of a quick background.
Yeah, no, that's great. Yeah. It is hard to move. It is hard to make connections,
you know, especially when we're older. And so, um, you, you know,
just doing that and, and.
to finding some place to get plugged in is really important.
I'm just trying to see the questions here.
What about adoption?
Are you open to adoption as well?
Are you open to someone who has children already
and are you open to adoption?
Yeah, absolutely, yes to both.
My last relationship, she had two kids.
I was very happy to, if that was, you know,
part of my, you know,
met a married her been happy to step into that role.
Adoption the same way.
My brother in Pennsylvania is not technically adopted,
but he's an adopted brother.
You know, came into my family's life
when we were like about 22 each.
He's a little, he's a year older than me.
Exactly, almost to the day.
And my parents have always been kind of bringing,
you know, people who didn't have parents
into our family's life.
So it's something that's huge in my family.
So definitely up for that.
Awesome.
Tommy, what is the first thing
that you noticed about a woman that, you know,
what's the first thing that attracts you to a woman?
And guys, I know that there's a lot of guys here.
We have a lot of new guys in our community
and you guys are actually showing up to live stuff.
So I love that instead of just watching replays.
Guys, all of you answer that question in the chat.
What's kind of the first thing that you noticed
about a woman that makes you feel drawn to her?
And so Scott, you can go ahead and answer that.
And guys, you can answer that in the chat.
Um, I think their smile.
You can kind of tell a lot by the way somebody smiles,
how genuine they are.
It can definitely draw me in.
So I guess if you go physical and then once you get
to start, you actually talk to somebody or meet them,
just the way they treat other people, kindness.
You can just tell something when somebody's genuinely kind.
And then that's, I think, big things that are missing
in our society today.
So somebody who's kind is huge.
Do you know what your personality type is
on any of the personality tests?
Yeah, I do.
Enneagram, Myers-Briggs?
Oh, yeah.
What is it?
Uh, DISC is the one I know the most.
I know a little bit, I'm super, super high D.
High D, okay.
So you get the job done, you're focused, you're a builder.
Yep.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
I'm a get it done no matter what the cost.
Like, we're just going to do it.
Get her done.
Yep.
Get it done.
So that's a leader personality.
So that's great.
And then what do you think your friends would say about you?
Like, if I asked them, hey, you know, tell me about Scott.
You know, what's Scott like?
How would they describe you?
My best friend might call me a little stubborn.
All right, that's fair.
But that's, I don't know,
that's the high D in me probably for sure.
Um, loyal.
Um, I think they definitely call me loyal.
They're for people.
My, something that my parents instilled in me
watching them doing is just serving other people
in their entire lives.
And that's huge to me.
I think my parents, my friends would,
would say that about me.
Honest.
To speak the truth.
Sometimes a little, doesn't need to be so harsh sometimes.
That's, that's, that could be one of my flaws.
But one of my best friends.
That's the D.
That's the D in you.
It is.
And I learned that a long time ago.
And it's one of the things I have to catch myself sometimes.
You know, we have the seasons where you're, you know,
whatever life becomes, you kind of, you know, figure, okay,
I gotta be a little bit nicer.
I'm a little short now.
I'm a little annoyed, whatever it is.
One of my best friends speaks about my discernment a lot.
Just, they're like, hey, I see things a little bit earlier
than some people see things.
Just that, that, that really comes from a lot of came from,
we all, there's a group of us that went to a church
and I was like, we all ended up leaving that church.
Almost a lot of people did,
but I kind of saw some things earlier
and we just started talking about it in our friend group.
And he was like, man, you knew that like three months
before I even thought about it.
And I was like, yeah, it's hard.
It's sometimes hard to have conversations like that.
Cause you're not trying to be negative.
Right.
Those are a few things.
Yeah, no, that's good.
So discerning and loyal and maybe a little stubborn,
but that can, that can be a good thing
if it's directed towards the right thing.
And my mom would say too.
So these are all, your mom, your mom would say that?
Yeah, she'd say it too.
So not just my friends.
Yeah.
Where, where are you in birth order of your siblings?
The oldest.
You're the oldest.
All right.
So that's where a lot of that D comes from.
You know, oldest ladies, gentlemen, you guys know,
oldest, oldest siblings.
You're usually a little bit more driven.
D stands for driven for me.
And so, yes.
And then middle children like me, we're the high eyes.
We're the entertainers.
We try to keep everybody alive by making them laugh.
That's definite, that's definite, that's definite.
Yep.
All right.
Was there anything else that you want to share?
You guys, please email us, admin at JackieDorman.com.
If you think that you're a match for Scott, you're going to be someone who wants to build
a family together.
If you have children, you want to adopt children, that's all plus.
He will go hiking with you, but he prefers some sport activity, fishing and golfing and
snowboarding.
Really active guy likes to play basketball.
So anything active, have you tried pickleball yet?
I have on a work trip.
We played and I bought a paddle a couple of days ago.
So I'm in.
There you go.
I'm in now.
Pickleball action?
Yep.
Okay.
So if you're active, you like to have fun, if you want to partner with a guy that's driven,
that's going to get the job done that you can trust because he's loyal and he's honest
and you know that if he's in charge of it, it's going to be finished.
And a man that is a good judge of other people's character, he's discerning, he's going to
protect you.
He's going to keep you safe.
Someone who's close to his family, someone who loves family, then this is the guy for
you.
And so please email us.
Oh, it kind of froze.
Did she freeze for everyone?
Yes, we froze.
I'm frozen.
Not anymore.
You were.
Okay.
So put Scott.
I was going to add in, my dad's been a contractor my whole life so I can build a house from
the ground up.
We're good to go.
I don't know if that.
Are we back?
I'm here.
You're getting frozen, Jackie.
Okay, you guys, we have no idea what's going on.
Sorry about this.
Okay.
Put Scott in the subject line.
If we think it's a good intro, if Scott thinks it's a good intro, then we will contact you.
Please don't stalk us.
There's plenty of spotlights to go around.
And we promise you that we will continue to spotlight guys in this community.
All right.
Okay, so Scott, thank you so much for joining us.
And we're glad you're here.
All right.
Okay, so we're gonna go ahead and try to do a little bit of love seat.
Okay.
And so if you want to jump in the love seat, Bethany, if we have anyone that wanted to
jump in the love seat, let's go ahead and get them queued up.
Yeah, Shawnee would like to go tonight.
And then also, Dinah, if she's here, said she would like to ask a question.
I know those two for sure.
I see Shawnee.
Shawnee, if you can raise your hand so Jackie can see you.
There you go.
All right, so Shawnee, just go ahead and unmute yourself.
Make sure you're on camera.
All right, guys, I think I forgot to say that the podcast is launching.
We're going to drop our first episode on my 50th birthday, January 16th.
We have an amazing guest for our first podcast episode.
You're going to really love it.
But the studio is nearly finished.
We have a gallery wall that's going to be going up over here of iconic women
and things that are important to me.
Tell a little story of what I love over there on that gallery wall.
And it's going to be incredible.
So excited about that.
All right, Shawnee, you're up, girl.
What you got?
Okay, I'm going to read my question, if you don't mind,
just because I already wrote it.
Sure.
So today I kind of freaked out.
My ex texted me to tell me that he still loves me.
And we have a way of communicating that uses like a code of emojis.
And so he like made an excuse to send me this random meditation so that he
could essentially send emojis.
And around this time, he didn't just add the heart, the I love you emojis.
He added a infinity sign.
And it kind of threw me off a little bit because, you know, X.
And around this time, I just recently met a really good guy.
Like a, like a whole separate situation.
And I was excited to move forward.
And this guy, the good, the new guy.
Like.
It's level two because I haven't seen him in person.
I haven't even fully seen his full face because he wears these glasses for
our calls. So I haven't actually seen him.
But he considers himself courting me.
And so it kind of just threw me off today when.
This X text me because I didn't really know what to do with that.
Because on one hand.
Like we're supposed to stay open.
The X is a good guy. So it's not really a reason.
I don't know.
Maybe it's full circle.
It is going pretty well with this new person.
And so-
Okay, well, let's process through this.
Okay, so why are you and your former boyfriend,
first of all, how long were you together
and to what level did this relationship get to?
So it was definitely level three.
We were definitely talking and considering marriage.
When it didn't work out, it was kind of a surprise.
Most of it was long distance.
And then in person, we just couldn't get it together.
So it was about, it was over the pandemic.
So it was about a whole year of pandemic,
getting to know each other.
And it was 2020-
And how long, how many times
did you guys see each other in person?
So twice, he came here once and then I went to where he is.
Okay, and how long ago did you break up?
2021 of new year.
And have you heard from him since then?
Yes, so occasionally, you know,
one of us will send some message
and there will be the hearts,
like every couple of seasons or something like that.
So it's not completely random,
but it's been a while since the last one.
Has he dated anyone since breaking up with you?
I'm sure, but not anyone that he's posted that I know.
Okay, all right.
So new year, y'all, a little old Lang sign, right?
A little, what's going on, revisiting the past,
looking at it through rose colored glasses, nostalgic.
You know, this happens at this time of year for sure.
So it could be that he's never found
anyone better than you.
When you say you couldn't get it together in person,
what does that mean?
I don't know if either of us knows.
I know that he was a lot older than I am,
much more successful.
And I don't feel like he ever saw me as an equal.
And so like little things just kept happening.
What's a lot older?
11 years.
Okay, 11 years.
And how old are you, Shawnee?
So I'm 39 now, but this was a few years ago.
So he was already like almost 50.
Okay, and then does he have children?
No.
Has he ever been married?
Yes.
Okay, has been married, doesn't have kids.
And how long was he divorced before you met him?
I think two years.
Okay, so a little, maybe a little rebounding there.
Okay, two years after marriage,
you know how long he was married for?
I don't think it was that long.
Maybe that was two years too.
Okay, and he's only been married once, right?
Yes.
Okay, been married for two years,
divorced for two years, meets you.
There's an age difference, you know,
and you know, that's substantial.
That's an entire decade and one year.
And so there's that age difference.
Plus that the ages that you guys were
when that was happening, you know,
he's about to turn 50,
you're in your like early to mid thirties, right?
And so, you know, remember friends,
we're not matching ages, we're matching seasons.
And so he might've been in a different season.
Long distance, you guys know that I have a lot of rules
around long distance for good reason,
because you can catch feelings for someone
that you will not have anything in common with
or any chemistry with in person, if you're not careful.
Gotta be really intentional with long distance.
Gotta see each other often as much as possible
and as quick as possible.
I feel like you guys are all frozen.
We can hear you.
You're okay.
Okay.
So as quick as possible, and that's really important.
And so just seeing each other two times,
you know, you have no idea.
People were lonely during pandemic.
There's a lot of things that could be happening there.
That being said, can you guys still hear me?
Cause you're frozen.
Yeah, we can hear you, Jackie.
Okay.
That being said, I think that
because there wasn't anything abusive or toxic, okay?
Anything unhealthy about this situation,
it's possible that he's come to his senses
and realizes that he really deeply cares about you
and wants to get to know you better.
Cause remember, you don't really know each other that well.
You're only together twice in person.
And so my question for him, Shani, if I were you would be,
what's different this time?
It's a fair question.
You know, what's different this time?
If I'm gonna even entertain the idea of getting to,
you know, getting to know you better or revisiting this,
what's gonna be different?
How often are we gonna see each other?
How much distance is there?
How far away do you live from each other?
He's in Hawaii and I'm in Michigan.
Oh God.
Okay.
Oh.
Wow.
That's really far.
Okay.
And so, and you can relocate
cause he ain't moving to Michigan.
You got to move to Hawaii girl
because we both know that that's exactly the only thing
that makes sense to my mind.
Okay.
So yeah, that's a lot of distance.
It's a lot.
Okay.
So that's, that is the honest conversation that you have to have.
It can't be through text messages.
Also if he really feels this way, you know, the texting, let's give you a phone call,
you know, did you respond yet to the text?
I did.
I didn't know what to do.
So I just said, thank you for the meditation.
Have an amazing new year with no heart emojis.
Oh.
Okay.
And then what did he say back?
He just hearted it.
Like, like, like liking it, but not like wrote more hearts.
Okay.
Well, listen, if you, if you still have any kind of feelings for him, if you feel like,
you know, if you feel like you need to pray about it, if you feel like it's a full circle
moment or that it could be, then you owe it to yourself to check it out.
As far as this other guy, you're, you know, once again, you're on the same trajectory,
you're talking to someone you haven't met in person, Sean, we've got to break this pattern
and we can't do this.
And you said his, his glasses cover his face to the point where you don't know what he
looks like.
I'm so what in the world does he have on scuba gear?
What are we doing?
So what happened was apparently he had some kind of injury when he was in the military.
So it's just a light sensitivity though.
It's nothing's actually wrong with his eyes.
I don't understand that.
I think they water.
And so he wears them to probably detect, protect his pride a little bit.
And then he's built it into his like public persona for branding purposes.
So he really doesn't really want to come out of it.
So that's been interesting.
Wait, wait.
Are they sunglasses?
Yes.
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no.
We do not know who he is, if he has sunglasses on.
Okay.
So I didn't tell you this.
I forgot.
But I got recommended to me by a friend that I know, like I've known her for like 10 years
and she knows them in person.
Yes.
Like they've been like, that's like one of her best friends.
And she goes, I've got a really good guy for you.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Otherwise we're like, Oh no, we don't know who that is.
Okay.
So, and how far away does he live?
New York.
Sometimes Atlanta, Shawnee, a long distance.
You're killing me, girl.
You killing me.
Um, so when does he plan on seeing you in person?
We've talked about it since he said he's courting you.
That's so that's so quick, quick, quick, quick.
So that's a, that's a yellow flag for me.
That's a yellow flag.
And what does he, what does he plan on getting together with you in person?
We've talked about it a lot.
I would say by March with our schedules, that probably the soonest time because I'm, I'm
going to be traveling for work all of the rest of January and a few days and February.
Okay.
And it's part of his persona.
So is he willing to get rid of it?
If that's a deal breaker for you, because it is a deal breaker, not going to be married
to someone who's got on sunglasses.
I asked him what ratio he needed to wear those glasses.
And if he needed to wear them in the house.
And he said that when he's comfortable and knowing that I'm okay with his eye watering,
he doesn't wear them in the house.
His eyes always just watering.
That's what, that's what he described it.
How do you feel about that?
Cause this is someone with, if this is someone with kind of a disability, how do you feel
about that?
I'm not great, but he has so many other like really good attributes and he really is a
really true, but it's just, I don't know because that does seem problematic.
Well, you need to let them know.
It's like, Hey, I'm, you know, I don't know how I feel about it until you let me see it.
I've got to be able to see it because if it grosses me out and it doesn't, you know, if
all the other good things about you, I'm not able to get over that.
And some people wouldn't be able to, they'd be like, no, it's enough for me.
Okay.
It's like that game.
There are 10, but, and then you fill in the blank with whatever it is.
There are 10, but they don't take their sunglasses off.
Okay.
And so you have to be able to do that.
And I feel like, I feel like he should go ahead and get you ready for that on these
zoom calls.
I think that you need to see his face before you see him in person.
He needs to go ahead and just let you see who he is.
Does everyone agree with that?
Let's see in the, in the comments, he says he's courting her.
We need to see his eyes.
You guys eyes are truly the window to the soul.
You got to see someone's eyes.
You have to see them have to.
All right.
And he's in the house on zoom.
Okay.
You can turn the lights down a little bit low.
He can put on, you know, he can put on some glasses that are not sunglass.
You put on some blue blockers, but we got to see his eyes.
Okay.
Thank you.
No, you're not crazy. You're not crazy. That's that's, I mean, if your friend didn't know
him, I'd already be like, no girl, this is not, we don't, we're just going to vote this
guy off the Island, but because your friend knows him, we'll give him the benefit of the
doubt because you trust her and you trust her opinion of him. Um, but we got to see
his eyes. And so you need to just let them know, Hey, on our next zoom call, since we're
courting, um, how do you feel about that? I mean, courting is level three. How do you
feel about someone going so quick like that? Cause you're gorgeous. I can see why a guy
would be like, Oh yeah, by the way, um, you belong to me. I'm courting you. I can see
why some of them want to do that. But how do you feel about someone doing that? So for
the right person, it makes sense. I'm about to turn 40 and I need it's time. Like if I
want to have kids and move forward. So I always assumed it would go quickly. Like, you know,
hopefully everything checks out, but I don't. But when you say that to him, when he says
that to you, I'm courting you, even though you've never, ever seen his full face or his
eyes, uh, doesn't that cause you some pause? Absolutely. Okay. So I think when someone,
and this is for everyone, if you're in conversation with someone, even if you're genuinely interested
and they say something about the relationship that you don't agree with, you have to push
back. You have to say that it's not true because your silence is agreement. It's important
for you to understand that. So for instance, I'm Shawnee, I'm talking to, you know, the
guy with the sunglasses on that my friend has vouched for, and I like him, but I've
never met him in person. I've never seen his eyes. And he says, I'm courting you. I Shawnee
say back, okay, let's slow down a little bit. We're not courting. We're getting to know
each other, you know, cause say it nice, but you got to say it because you're not courting
because courting is premarital. You're getting to know each other. And then you say, I also
would not feel comfortable becoming exclusive with you or boyfriend, girlfriend with you
until I've met you in person. And it's in, and it's in, and it's in, and it's because,
you know, I haven't even seen your full face yet. And so it's important to say these things
because I can, because I can, because I can, because I can, and I feel like, I feel like
it'd be very easy for men to, you know, talk at you instead of to you and say things that
maybe you're not in full agreement with yet. And because you're kind of nice, you might
allow that to happen instead of saying, hold on, that's, that's, that's, that's, let's,
let's allow this to unfold and old and old and old. And to where you are, you're here.
Okay. That's nice. But I need these things in order to get there. And it is completely
okay to say that. All right. So I'm skipping guys. I'm so sorry. In fact, let me do this.
Recording in progress.