WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.000
All right.

2
00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:07.660
So, as we're starting to talk about what is the broken heart, I felt like it was really

3
00:00:07.660 --> 00:00:13.920
important for us to look at that first before we start to process wounds from our mothers.

4
00:00:13.920 --> 00:00:17.760
We'll touch slightly on wounds from fathers and authority figures as well, but God did

5
00:00:17.760 --> 00:00:22.280
highlight mother wounds for me and my spirit for all of you today.

6
00:00:22.280 --> 00:00:24.680
And so here we go.

7
00:00:24.680 --> 00:00:29.560
Trauma doesn't just hurt us, it creates different versions of us.

8
00:00:29.560 --> 00:00:36.040
So I want you to be thinking about right now, over the years, what are just some situations

9
00:00:36.040 --> 00:00:41.020
that come to mind for you where maybe you were there, but you felt like you had to hide

10
00:00:41.020 --> 00:00:46.200
a part of yourself or that you couldn't really be your full self.

11
00:00:46.200 --> 00:00:51.080
Maybe you went to a party and you just, you really wanted to be outgoing, but you felt

12
00:00:51.080 --> 00:00:52.280
a lot of fear.

13
00:00:52.280 --> 00:00:57.280
Maybe you wanted to try out for a play and you know, you would have really loved to sing,

14
00:00:57.280 --> 00:01:02.600
but you were too afraid or shy, you know, you were labeled as shy, but here's the reality.

15
00:01:02.600 --> 00:01:06.520
So many people, I'm not saying this is the case for everyone.

16
00:01:06.520 --> 00:01:10.440
I'm not saying everyone was meant to be an extrovert, but there are some people that

17
00:01:10.440 --> 00:01:18.880
have partnered with I'm shy because they shut parts of themselves down as a protection mechanism

18
00:01:18.880 --> 00:01:23.000
when they were hurt as a child long ago, or even over the years.

19
00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:30.840
So where has trauma not just hurt us, but caused there to be different versions of you created?

20
00:01:30.840 --> 00:01:32.760
What is your broken heart leading you into?

21
00:01:32.760 --> 00:01:38.060
That's not a part of your true identity.

22
00:01:38.060 --> 00:01:39.960
What is your broken heart leading you into?

23
00:01:39.960 --> 00:01:42.200
That's not a part of your true identity.

24
00:01:42.200 --> 00:01:44.480
The identity God gave you is what I'm talking about.

25
00:01:44.480 --> 00:01:49.880
So the day that he formed you, when he created you originally with all of his original thoughts

26
00:01:49.880 --> 00:01:55.800
and mind, the fullness of God's plans and promises for you before trauma or wounds or

27
00:01:55.800 --> 00:01:58.920
pain ever entered our lives, who is that?

28
00:01:58.920 --> 00:01:59.920
Who is that?

29
00:01:59.920 --> 00:02:04.200
And we don't always know, but we can ask the Lord to continue to show us or to continue

30
00:02:04.200 --> 00:02:09.560
to help us to step into the fullness of his plans and promises for us from the beginning

31
00:02:09.560 --> 00:02:13.280
of the day he created us.

32
00:02:13.280 --> 00:02:16.320
We know in the book, as y'all are reading through it, if you're not there yet, it's

33
00:02:16.320 --> 00:02:17.320
okay.

34
00:02:17.320 --> 00:02:18.320
You'll get there.

35
00:02:18.320 --> 00:02:24.680
There's a part of the book where it talks about how the enemy, Satan, who is the Lord

36
00:02:24.680 --> 00:02:27.540
of the flies, he's known as Beezlebub.

37
00:02:27.540 --> 00:02:36.680
He goes in and he like basically plants eggs inside of, you know, the, these broken open

38
00:02:36.680 --> 00:02:37.680
sore areas.

39
00:02:37.680 --> 00:02:41.560
And I'm just going to read that real quickly because it's so good the way she wrote it.

40
00:02:41.560 --> 00:02:46.480
Flies serve a purpose in the decomposition process of organic materials.

41
00:02:46.640 --> 00:02:52.080
However, knowing this nickname of the enemy, Beezlebub, Lord of the flies helps us understand

42
00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:56.160
how our heart wounds get infected with these lies.

43
00:02:56.160 --> 00:03:02.720
What flies do is they find an unhealed wound, a sore or someplace of decomposition, and

44
00:03:02.720 --> 00:03:06.220
they lay their eggs inside of that place.

45
00:03:06.220 --> 00:03:11.280
They do this so that when the eggs hash, the larvae will have an unlimited food source.

46
00:03:11.280 --> 00:03:15.880
So I want you to kind of think about the wounds in your heart, the trauma, the places

47
00:03:15.880 --> 00:03:20.320
of unforgiveness that you're still kind of harboring, the bitterness and the resentment

48
00:03:20.320 --> 00:03:26.400
that you've been struggling with and understand that these places are places that the enemy

49
00:03:26.400 --> 00:03:33.360
will always try to go to and plant more eggs, plant more lies, plant more misunderstanding

50
00:03:33.360 --> 00:03:36.080
about God, yourself and others.

51
00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:40.440
These unhealed heart wounds, traumas and rejections become an ideal place for the enemy to sow

52
00:03:40.600 --> 00:03:42.360
his seeds.

53
00:03:42.360 --> 00:03:47.040
Our hearts are fertile wounds.

54
00:03:47.040 --> 00:03:51.200
So everything that's planted in there, you all, is going to get reproduced.

55
00:03:51.200 --> 00:03:54.980
It's going to come out whether we want it to or not.

56
00:03:54.980 --> 00:03:59.960
And so if we have a lot of brokenness in there, that's where we're going to see that show

57
00:03:59.960 --> 00:04:00.960
up.

58
00:04:00.960 --> 00:04:04.720
Now, some of you might be thriving in some areas of your life, but then other areas,

59
00:04:04.720 --> 00:04:06.960
you're just not thriving at all.

60
00:04:06.960 --> 00:04:08.280
Understand that that can be true.

61
00:04:08.280 --> 00:04:13.720
You also can have layers of healing that you've done successfully, but there might still be

62
00:04:13.720 --> 00:04:19.519
something down in there that that stronghold is still connected to because it's down further

63
00:04:19.519 --> 00:04:25.640
underneath the surface and God is the one that supernaturally can bring us understanding

64
00:04:25.640 --> 00:04:30.760
and revelation to that, that can finally help us dislodge from that area we've been stuck

65
00:04:30.760 --> 00:04:31.760
in.

66
00:04:31.760 --> 00:04:35.240
Has anyone ever felt like you go around the same mountain over and over in any area of

67
00:04:35.240 --> 00:04:36.240
your life?

68
00:04:36.240 --> 00:04:39.280
I know that I used to relationships in my life.

69
00:04:39.280 --> 00:04:42.560
I had other areas going well, relationships and finances.

70
00:04:42.560 --> 00:04:45.920
I kept getting stuck in the same area, stuck in the same areas.

71
00:04:45.920 --> 00:04:47.720
I was like a broken record.

72
00:04:47.720 --> 00:04:49.800
And I was like, what is going on?

73
00:04:49.800 --> 00:04:50.800
I know I'm a good person.

74
00:04:50.800 --> 00:04:56.640
Why do I keep attracting these men that betray me, cheat on me, steal all these different

75
00:04:56.640 --> 00:04:59.800
things because I'm like, why is this happening?

76
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:03.760
And I had to finally stop and ask the Lord

77
00:05:03.760 --> 00:05:06.520
to show me what I couldn't see

78
00:05:06.520 --> 00:05:09.400
so that I could heal and be set free

79
00:05:09.400 --> 00:05:13.000
and move forward and attract healthier people,

80
00:05:13.000 --> 00:05:15.600
healthier friends, healthier men, everything,

81
00:05:15.600 --> 00:05:18.880
healthier work environments, the whole nine yards.

82
00:05:18.880 --> 00:05:20.840
So here is what the broken heart is.

83
00:05:20.840 --> 00:05:22.040
It's a liar.

84
00:05:22.040 --> 00:05:23.960
So the broken heart is full of lies.

85
00:05:23.960 --> 00:05:24.800
It's a puzzle.

86
00:05:24.800 --> 00:05:26.760
So it's all messed up.

87
00:05:26.760 --> 00:05:28.800
We say we want things that we don't really want.

88
00:05:28.800 --> 00:05:30.640
We eat food that we don't really wanna eat

89
00:05:30.640 --> 00:05:34.280
because we're sad and we're stuffing those emotions

90
00:05:34.280 --> 00:05:35.440
because we don't wanna feel.

91
00:05:35.440 --> 00:05:36.680
We just wanna numb out.

92
00:05:36.680 --> 00:05:39.080
Sometimes we binge watch TV

93
00:05:39.080 --> 00:05:41.040
and we keep watching and keep watching.

94
00:05:41.040 --> 00:05:41.880
Why?

95
00:05:41.880 --> 00:05:42.720
Why do we do that?

96
00:05:42.720 --> 00:05:44.440
Sometimes it is just to relax,

97
00:05:44.440 --> 00:05:48.920
but y'all sometimes it's because we're hiding from pain.

98
00:05:50.280 --> 00:05:51.120
Okay?

99
00:05:51.120 --> 00:05:52.760
The broken heart is also a pretender.

100
00:05:52.760 --> 00:05:54.360
How does the pretender show up?

101
00:05:54.360 --> 00:05:56.800
Well, what kind of mask do we put on?

102
00:05:57.800 --> 00:06:00.040
What area of our life do we show up in

103
00:06:00.040 --> 00:06:02.360
where we project this identity

104
00:06:02.360 --> 00:06:03.600
that we got it all together.

105
00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:04.680
We have to be perfect.

106
00:06:04.680 --> 00:06:05.800
We have to be the perfect mom,

107
00:06:05.800 --> 00:06:09.240
the perfect sister, the perfect employee,

108
00:06:09.240 --> 00:06:10.680
and we can't make any mistakes.

109
00:06:10.680 --> 00:06:12.040
And we've got it.

110
00:06:12.040 --> 00:06:13.880
And y'all, I like cute clothes.

111
00:06:13.880 --> 00:06:14.760
So when I say this,

112
00:06:14.760 --> 00:06:17.120
I don't mean anything like we can't have cute stuff,

113
00:06:17.120 --> 00:06:20.680
but sometimes some of us want the car that looks amazing,

114
00:06:20.680 --> 00:06:22.200
the purses, the clothes,

115
00:06:22.200 --> 00:06:25.320
and we've got it all together on the outside,

116
00:06:25.360 --> 00:06:30.360
but our inside is breaking and it's sad and it's lonely.

117
00:06:31.120 --> 00:06:36.120
Or we believe that God is blessing everybody else but us.

118
00:06:36.640 --> 00:06:38.000
So we have all these masks

119
00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:40.640
that we need to come out from underneath of

120
00:06:40.640 --> 00:06:43.920
so that our true identity can actually emerge,

121
00:06:43.920 --> 00:06:46.320
our confident self.

122
00:06:46.320 --> 00:06:49.040
And some of us, we struggle with insecurity,

123
00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:50.880
fear, doubt, unbelief.

124
00:06:50.880 --> 00:06:53.200
We struggle with actually having confidence

125
00:06:53.200 --> 00:06:54.920
in God or ourselves,

126
00:06:54.920 --> 00:06:57.360
but we are trying to fake it till we make it

127
00:06:57.360 --> 00:07:00.560
because our society tells us that's the way we should do it.

128
00:07:00.560 --> 00:07:02.480
Y'all, that's not how we should do it.

129
00:07:03.520 --> 00:07:06.440
Am I saying that I always have known every way

130
00:07:06.440 --> 00:07:07.320
to lead in my life?

131
00:07:07.320 --> 00:07:09.640
No, and I've always done my best,

132
00:07:09.640 --> 00:07:13.320
but I can tell you that from the point I'm at now,

133
00:07:13.320 --> 00:07:16.520
leading from a healthier, more confident place

134
00:07:16.520 --> 00:07:18.880
where I'm at peace on the inside of my soul

135
00:07:18.880 --> 00:07:20.560
more than I've ever been

136
00:07:20.560 --> 00:07:24.120
is definitely more freeing than where I used to be.

137
00:07:24.120 --> 00:07:25.640
I was just doing the best I could do.

138
00:07:25.640 --> 00:07:29.840
So we don't shame ourselves for what we used to do,

139
00:07:29.840 --> 00:07:31.600
how we used to live,

140
00:07:31.600 --> 00:07:33.760
but we get greater revelation now

141
00:07:33.760 --> 00:07:37.320
so that for the rest of our life, everyday forward,

142
00:07:37.320 --> 00:07:42.240
we can keep becoming more free, more whole, happier,

143
00:07:42.240 --> 00:07:46.080
more full of actual supernatural joy,

144
00:07:46.080 --> 00:07:49.080
unspeakable and full of glory that the Bible talks about.

145
00:07:50.000 --> 00:07:52.080
Okay, Jeremiah 79 says this,

146
00:07:52.200 --> 00:07:54.000
the heart is deceitful above all things

147
00:07:54.000 --> 00:07:54.960
and desperately wicked.

148
00:07:54.960 --> 00:07:56.760
Who can know it?

149
00:07:56.760 --> 00:07:59.280
Who can know what that heart is full of?

150
00:07:59.280 --> 00:08:02.000
Proverbs 4.23 in the ESV says,

151
00:08:02.000 --> 00:08:04.240
keep your heart with all vigilance

152
00:08:04.240 --> 00:08:06.280
for out of it flows the springs of life.

153
00:08:06.280 --> 00:08:08.320
Our hearts are very impressionable.

154
00:08:08.320 --> 00:08:10.960
So if you think about the things in your life

155
00:08:10.960 --> 00:08:14.680
that you went through and just think about the fact

156
00:08:14.680 --> 00:08:17.080
that when they pushed down on your heart,

157
00:08:17.080 --> 00:08:18.640
they made an impression.

158
00:08:18.640 --> 00:08:21.240
So what impression is still there?

159
00:08:21.920 --> 00:08:24.640
We want God to come into these areas.

160
00:08:24.640 --> 00:08:26.520
And so in order to do that, you all,

161
00:08:26.520 --> 00:08:28.320
one of the things we have to do

162
00:08:28.320 --> 00:08:29.600
is I want you to right now,

163
00:08:29.600 --> 00:08:31.040
even if you have a piece of paper,

164
00:08:31.040 --> 00:08:33.640
if something comes to mind all throughout today,

165
00:08:33.640 --> 00:08:34.960
if anything comes to mind,

166
00:08:34.960 --> 00:08:37.000
even if it doesn't make sense to you,

167
00:08:37.000 --> 00:08:40.360
or you're like, I don't think I'd even hurt my feelings.

168
00:08:40.360 --> 00:08:45.200
If anything comes up, any image, any memory, any phrase,

169
00:08:46.680 --> 00:08:48.240
just write those things down

170
00:08:48.240 --> 00:08:50.080
because those are things that the Holy Spirit

171
00:08:50.080 --> 00:08:52.640
is bringing up for you to pay attention to, okay?

172
00:08:54.920 --> 00:08:56.520
What I was gonna say is,

173
00:08:56.520 --> 00:08:58.960
when we go through these things and our heart is all broken

174
00:08:58.960 --> 00:09:01.440
and we've got all these lies on the inside,

175
00:09:01.440 --> 00:09:04.360
the puzzle, the pretender, all these things are happening.

176
00:09:04.360 --> 00:09:06.200
What often happens is we erect

177
00:09:06.200 --> 00:09:08.480
what I call do not enter signs on our heart.

178
00:09:09.520 --> 00:09:12.280
Y'all know when you're driving and it says do not enter,

179
00:09:12.280 --> 00:09:14.040
that means we don't go there.

180
00:09:14.040 --> 00:09:16.120
Well, we put those up on our hearts

181
00:09:16.120 --> 00:09:19.320
and we're keeping God out, we're keeping other people out.

182
00:09:19.320 --> 00:09:21.320
And it's not even something we're doing

183
00:09:21.320 --> 00:09:23.360
like consciously sometimes,

184
00:09:23.360 --> 00:09:27.040
but the brokenness in us has erected those signs.

185
00:09:27.040 --> 00:09:28.640
And so I wanna encourage you all right now,

186
00:09:28.640 --> 00:09:29.960
just really ask the Lord,

187
00:09:29.960 --> 00:09:32.040
do I have any do not enter signs?

188
00:09:33.640 --> 00:09:36.160
Do I have any areas of my heart, Lord,

189
00:09:36.160 --> 00:09:41.160
where I'm like, yeah, I'll deal with that stuff,

190
00:09:41.160 --> 00:09:43.360
but Lord, I'm not dealing with that.

191
00:09:43.360 --> 00:09:44.680
I've already done that work.

192
00:09:44.680 --> 00:09:46.360
I'm not going back there

193
00:09:46.360 --> 00:09:48.920
or I've never wanted to go into this part of my heart

194
00:09:49.520 --> 00:09:51.080
because it is too painful.

195
00:09:51.960 --> 00:09:54.200
There's so many different aspects to this ladies.

196
00:09:54.200 --> 00:09:57.280
And I want you to know that if the Lord is nudging you

197
00:09:57.280 --> 00:09:59.320
to go there during this time,

198
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:02.440
He's doing that out of his love for you.

199
00:10:03.600 --> 00:10:06.360
Because he doesn't want us to remain in brokenness

200
00:10:06.360 --> 00:10:09.720
and these half, like where we live half alive,

201
00:10:09.720 --> 00:10:11.280
you know, where we're just kind of like

202
00:10:11.280 --> 00:10:13.920
zombying through this world and this life.

203
00:10:13.920 --> 00:10:15.880
We're showing up, but there's a part of us

204
00:10:15.880 --> 00:10:19.360
where we just don't feel like the light is on.

205
00:10:19.360 --> 00:10:21.800
Does that make sense, everyone?

206
00:10:21.800 --> 00:10:22.960
All right.

207
00:10:22.960 --> 00:10:26.680
So for those of you that have processed pain in your past,

208
00:10:26.680 --> 00:10:28.120
maybe you've done different programs,

209
00:10:28.120 --> 00:10:29.720
maybe you've worked with a counselor,

210
00:10:29.720 --> 00:10:31.800
here's what I wanna encourage you about.

211
00:10:33.440 --> 00:10:35.720
Even if you've worked through something before

212
00:10:35.720 --> 00:10:37.920
and God brings it up now

213
00:10:37.920 --> 00:10:39.920
when you're in this HeartWork program,

214
00:10:39.920 --> 00:10:42.800
I wanna encourage you that it's coming up for a reason.

215
00:10:42.800 --> 00:10:44.960
It doesn't mean you have to go all the way back

216
00:10:44.960 --> 00:10:48.120
through every single thing that you processed before,

217
00:10:48.120 --> 00:10:50.280
but I just want you to ask the Lord,

218
00:10:50.280 --> 00:10:53.040
is there anything that you're trying to show me

219
00:10:53.040 --> 00:10:55.520
about this that's new information?

220
00:10:55.520 --> 00:10:58.240
Or is there something I missed before?

221
00:10:58.240 --> 00:11:01.320
So it's kind of like, I call it peek up under the hood.

222
00:11:01.320 --> 00:11:02.920
I don't want you to be afraid

223
00:11:02.920 --> 00:11:04.920
that you have to go back all the way through that trauma.

224
00:11:04.920 --> 00:11:07.360
Now, some of you may have to,

225
00:11:07.360 --> 00:11:09.400
but for those of you that don't,

226
00:11:09.400 --> 00:11:11.480
don't feel afraid to look at something

227
00:11:11.480 --> 00:11:14.080
just because you've processed it in part before.

228
00:11:14.080 --> 00:11:16.400
We know in part and we see in part, ladies.

229
00:11:16.400 --> 00:11:18.680
So we process as we go.

230
00:11:18.680 --> 00:11:21.440
Forgiveness happens in layers and so does healing.

231
00:11:21.440 --> 00:11:22.920
One of the things years ago,

232
00:11:22.920 --> 00:11:26.040
I kept having very similar memories coming up

233
00:11:26.040 --> 00:11:27.720
and I remember just feeling so frustrated,

234
00:11:28.200 --> 00:11:29.480
like I've forgiven this before.

235
00:11:29.480 --> 00:11:31.240
Why is this still coming up?

236
00:11:31.240 --> 00:11:32.760
And the Lord just said, Bethany,

237
00:11:32.760 --> 00:11:35.360
forgiveness happens in layers.

238
00:11:35.360 --> 00:11:37.200
And as I kind of sat with him about that,

239
00:11:37.200 --> 00:11:39.600
he was just showing me that he wanted to show me

240
00:11:39.600 --> 00:11:43.600
something new about that situation

241
00:11:43.600 --> 00:11:48.600
because before he showed me what I could handle then.

242
00:11:49.480 --> 00:11:51.600
Now I had healed and grown more

243
00:11:51.600 --> 00:11:54.200
and now I was in a new season, a new place,

244
00:11:54.200 --> 00:11:56.880
and he could show me a little bit more of information

245
00:11:56.880 --> 00:12:00.360
about that situation so that I could heal even more.

246
00:12:01.240 --> 00:12:05.360
He will reveal things in due season out of his love for us,

247
00:12:05.360 --> 00:12:07.360
not because he's withholding from us,

248
00:12:07.360 --> 00:12:12.080
but because he knows what our heart can handle.

249
00:12:12.080 --> 00:12:13.640
Okay, he does.

250
00:12:13.640 --> 00:12:15.600
All right, we're gonna keep going.

251
00:12:15.600 --> 00:12:18.360
As you're thinking about those, do not enter signs.

252
00:12:18.360 --> 00:12:20.000
I just even want you just to right where you're at,

253
00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:23.240
just invite the Lord to start coming in to those places

254
00:12:23.240 --> 00:12:26.600
to help you have the grace and the courage

255
00:12:27.280 --> 00:12:29.120
to take those do not enter signs down,

256
00:12:29.120 --> 00:12:32.840
especially as we continue into the content today

257
00:12:32.840 --> 00:12:33.760
and in the days ahead.

258
00:12:33.760 --> 00:12:35.600
You guys need these signs to be down all the time,

259
00:12:35.600 --> 00:12:37.560
but I just want you to be real open.

260
00:12:37.560 --> 00:12:40.360
All right, so I want you to think about some lies

261
00:12:40.360 --> 00:12:41.400
that you might be hearing

262
00:12:41.400 --> 00:12:43.800
because of the brokenness in your heart.

263
00:12:43.800 --> 00:12:46.640
And these are not like you might hear other lies.

264
00:12:46.640 --> 00:12:48.480
This is just to get you started,

265
00:12:48.480 --> 00:12:51.320
but these are some of the ones that I have felt led

266
00:12:51.320 --> 00:12:54.440
the last few times I've led this session to bring up.

267
00:12:54.440 --> 00:12:59.440
Lie number one, you are insignificant.

268
00:12:59.680 --> 00:13:02.960
Definition of insignificant is not significant,

269
00:13:02.960 --> 00:13:07.600
lacking meaning, not worth considering, unimportant.

270
00:13:07.600 --> 00:13:10.320
Did someone ever tell you that you weren't important?

271
00:13:12.240 --> 00:13:16.120
Kids can be there, but you don't need to be heard.

272
00:13:17.280 --> 00:13:19.600
Have you ever felt like you don't matter

273
00:13:19.600 --> 00:13:23.280
or someone said to you something that caused you pain

274
00:13:23.280 --> 00:13:25.080
that led you to believe the lie

275
00:13:25.080 --> 00:13:26.920
from the enemy that you don't matter?

276
00:13:28.520 --> 00:13:30.160
Here's the, you should be seen and not heard.

277
00:13:30.160 --> 00:13:32.760
That's the verbiage I was looking for.

278
00:13:32.760 --> 00:13:35.280
Maybe your lie that you're believing is you're not enough

279
00:13:35.280 --> 00:13:38.400
or maybe your lie is you're too much

280
00:13:38.400 --> 00:13:40.560
because those tend to partner together

281
00:13:40.560 --> 00:13:41.640
and play off of each other.

282
00:13:41.640 --> 00:13:43.720
The enemy loves to get people in,

283
00:13:43.720 --> 00:13:45.080
you're too much, you're not enough.

284
00:13:45.080 --> 00:13:48.720
This back and forth thing that we get caught up in.

285
00:13:48.720 --> 00:13:51.640
Lie number five, your opinion doesn't matter.

286
00:13:52.600 --> 00:13:54.360
Here's another one, your heart doesn't matter.

287
00:13:54.360 --> 00:13:56.760
Your needs, your wants don't matter.

288
00:13:56.760 --> 00:13:59.960
Lie number six, you're always going to have to beg.

289
00:13:59.960 --> 00:14:01.800
So this is where that orphan mentality

290
00:14:01.800 --> 00:14:03.560
and those heart postures come in,

291
00:14:03.560 --> 00:14:06.360
where we believe that God's blessing everybody else but us

292
00:14:06.360 --> 00:14:08.960
and we just have to work and work and work and strive

293
00:14:08.960 --> 00:14:10.840
and we're gonna miss out because,

294
00:14:11.880 --> 00:14:13.440
it's whether we realize it or not,

295
00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:14.920
there's this posture in our heart

296
00:14:14.920 --> 00:14:16.880
that when we got neglected, abandoned

297
00:14:16.880 --> 00:14:19.520
or forgotten in some way as children,

298
00:14:20.400 --> 00:14:23.520
and even as we began to develop over the years,

299
00:14:23.520 --> 00:14:27.120
we partnered with orphan mindsets and mentalities

300
00:14:27.120 --> 00:14:29.920
that cause us to function and operate in our life

301
00:14:29.920 --> 00:14:32.240
from that place, that heart posture.

302
00:14:34.640 --> 00:14:35.560
What's the one?

303
00:14:36.400 --> 00:14:38.600
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,

304
00:14:38.600 --> 00:14:40.640
guess I'll go eat worms.

305
00:14:40.640 --> 00:14:41.600
Is that right?

306
00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:42.840
That just came up in my spirit.

307
00:14:42.840 --> 00:14:44.440
So that's why I'm bringing,

308
00:14:44.440 --> 00:14:47.960
like we used to recite this stuff when I was a kid.

309
00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:50.720
I'm like, when I think about that now,

310
00:14:50.720 --> 00:14:52.640
why was that something that,

311
00:14:52.640 --> 00:14:54.960
which again, I know literature in schools,

312
00:14:54.960 --> 00:14:57.120
they introduce all different kinds of things,

313
00:14:57.120 --> 00:15:00.320
but kids like, we kind of hung on to that stuff, didn't we?

314
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:02.520
We, that stuff sticks in your spirit.

315
00:15:03.480 --> 00:15:09.320
And so if, if I can remember that now, all these years later, all those years,

316
00:15:09.320 --> 00:15:11.760
somewhere deep down in there, that was still in there.

317
00:15:13.040 --> 00:15:14.320
Nobody likes me.

318
00:15:14.760 --> 00:15:16.040
Everybody hates me.

319
00:15:16.500 --> 00:15:18.000
Guess I'll go eat worms.

320
00:15:18.060 --> 00:15:18.560
What?

321
00:15:19.140 --> 00:15:22.800
No, you are likable.

322
00:15:23.160 --> 00:15:26.040
God loves you and you don't got to go eat no worms.

323
00:15:26.040 --> 00:15:29.240
Cause God's going to put you at the banquet table because you're his daughter.

324
00:15:29.280 --> 00:15:34.120
You're a princess and a couple of weeks for those of you that are brand new.

325
00:15:34.760 --> 00:15:38.080
Some of you that have been here a few weeks, you know, we did the princesses

326
00:15:38.080 --> 00:15:39.980
awakening and the tiaras.

327
00:15:39.980 --> 00:15:41.360
We got the tiaras to come out.

328
00:15:41.360 --> 00:15:42.960
We'll be doing that again in a couple of weeks.

329
00:15:43.280 --> 00:15:47.440
But sometimes ladies, the heart posture is what needs to be healed first.

330
00:15:48.520 --> 00:15:52.980
Cause if we don't believe that we belong at the table, even if God, he's already

331
00:15:52.980 --> 00:15:58.680
pulled the chair out for us, it's already there, but we disqualify

332
00:15:58.720 --> 00:16:02.760
ourselves and we actually internally believe we don't belong there.

333
00:16:03.000 --> 00:16:08.360
Because at some point along the way, somebody told us that we didn't.

334
00:16:08.880 --> 00:16:12.040
And a lot of times it's the enemy's voice through the voices of other people and

335
00:16:12.040 --> 00:16:13.600
the trauma and the things we've been through.

336
00:16:13.800 --> 00:16:17.800
But there are times where some of you have actually had things said to you.

337
00:16:18.360 --> 00:16:20.720
Like nobody's ever going to marry you.

338
00:16:21.320 --> 00:16:22.720
You'll be a terrible wife.

339
00:16:23.040 --> 00:16:24.040
I hear it all the time.

340
00:16:24.040 --> 00:16:26.640
Y'all have been coaching this for over three years.

341
00:16:27.640 --> 00:16:31.200
Can't tell you how many times people have said that their parents or people in

342
00:16:31.200 --> 00:16:36.760
authority, their uncle, you know, sisters, people just said hurtful things.

343
00:16:37.360 --> 00:16:40.680
And then we believed them and we partnered with them because we

344
00:16:40.680 --> 00:16:42.160
were broken and it hurt us.

345
00:16:42.760 --> 00:16:43.720
Here's another lie.

346
00:16:43.720 --> 00:16:49.400
If they really knew me, they wouldn't accept me, love me or choose me.

347
00:16:50.840 --> 00:16:52.080
Some of you believe this.

348
00:16:52.080 --> 00:16:57.600
When you meet good men, you feel like you, if they really knew what I've been

349
00:16:57.600 --> 00:17:03.320
through, some of you believe as single moms, well, you feel like you're coming

350
00:17:03.320 --> 00:17:08.880
into this situation already, like in the negative, because I got a kid who's

351
00:17:08.880 --> 00:17:13.319
going to want a kid and I know, I know even speaking it out, some of you're

352
00:17:13.319 --> 00:17:16.920
like, Oh, I feel that I feel bad that I feel that, but I'm bringing it to the

353
00:17:16.920 --> 00:17:18.880
light because you struggle with it.

354
00:17:18.880 --> 00:17:20.240
So let's just talk about it.

355
00:17:20.960 --> 00:17:23.040
You're not coming in from the negative.

356
00:17:23.599 --> 00:17:25.119
Your kid is a blessing.

357
00:17:25.280 --> 00:17:26.119
You're a blessing.

358
00:17:26.119 --> 00:17:29.800
And when you find your spirit mate, he will know he's found a good

359
00:17:29.800 --> 00:17:31.520
thing in you as well as your kid.

360
00:17:31.760 --> 00:17:35.880
And I can tell you that from experience, I'm a spiritual mom to two girls.

361
00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:38.800
I am a step-mom to a son from my former marriage.

362
00:17:38.840 --> 00:17:41.840
I absolutely have loved those kids like they were mine.

363
00:17:42.360 --> 00:17:45.640
And if I can do it, I know God can enable men to do it.

364
00:17:45.640 --> 00:17:46.800
And I see it all the time.

365
00:17:47.880 --> 00:17:50.080
My husband does it with my spiritual daughters.

366
00:17:51.200 --> 00:17:57.200
So I want to encourage you if they really knew you, if they are healthy

367
00:17:57.200 --> 00:17:59.440
people, they will love you.

368
00:17:59.640 --> 00:18:01.000
They will choose you.

369
00:18:01.160 --> 00:18:02.640
They will affirm you.

370
00:18:02.640 --> 00:18:04.000
They will accept you.

371
00:18:04.680 --> 00:18:05.560
And you know what?

372
00:18:05.880 --> 00:18:10.440
They'll partner with you and relationship, friendship, whatever it is.

373
00:18:11.160 --> 00:18:11.640
Okay.

374
00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:17.400
So all of the lies that I listed out today, I did those on purpose because

375
00:18:17.400 --> 00:18:19.840
they all point to having low self-esteem.

376
00:18:21.040 --> 00:18:22.760
In some way, shape, or form.

377
00:18:23.320 --> 00:18:28.360
If it's not low self-esteem, it tends to be not understanding our value

378
00:18:28.360 --> 00:18:32.480
and worth or the pauper orphan mentalities that I talked about.

379
00:18:32.480 --> 00:18:35.240
Those are kind of the three categories I touched on with the

380
00:18:35.240 --> 00:18:36.600
lies that I brought up today.

381
00:18:38.440 --> 00:18:42.720
The truth is, is that I'm going to talk just even regarding money right now.

382
00:18:43.640 --> 00:18:46.560
We can have enough to give away all of the time.

383
00:18:46.960 --> 00:18:49.200
We don't have to be a lender or I'm sorry.

384
00:18:49.200 --> 00:18:50.560
We don't have to be a borrower.

385
00:18:50.600 --> 00:18:57.080
We can be a lender, but it starts in our heart, whether or not we believe

386
00:18:57.080 --> 00:19:01.040
that if our heart is healed, you know, if you grew up in a lot of, you know,

387
00:19:01.040 --> 00:19:05.240
where your parents were always struggling financially, everything they

388
00:19:05.240 --> 00:19:06.960
had to say about money was negative.

389
00:19:06.960 --> 00:19:08.480
There was a lot of fear around money.

390
00:19:08.840 --> 00:19:12.160
You know, you lost a lot of things, or even, you know, for me, when I

391
00:19:12.160 --> 00:19:16.200
was married my first time, we had to move out of our house.

392
00:19:16.240 --> 00:19:19.200
Like, I can't tell you how many times, cause my husband kept losing his job.

393
00:19:19.640 --> 00:19:25.880
Um, some trouble that he got us into, um, genuinely, uh, that I had no part of lost.

394
00:19:25.880 --> 00:19:27.440
My car got repaid twice.

395
00:19:27.800 --> 00:19:29.040
Electricity was turned off.

396
00:19:29.040 --> 00:19:34.720
Y'all that feeds when that stuff happens, whether we realize it or not, if the

397
00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:38.880
brokenness of the past, when we grew up with our parents struggling, wasn't

398
00:19:38.880 --> 00:19:43.840
healed, that just created an additional stronghold for those lies that I was

399
00:19:43.880 --> 00:19:46.200
already believing to become stronger.

400
00:19:46.560 --> 00:19:50.280
Because I absolutely felt like, wait a minute, God, I'm doing

401
00:19:50.280 --> 00:19:52.400
everything I know to do for you.

402
00:19:53.280 --> 00:19:54.800
Why is this happening?

403
00:19:55.920 --> 00:20:00.000
And I blamed God for things my husband back then.

404
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:06.800
my former husband now, ex, what he was doing, I was projecting onto God

405
00:20:08.240 --> 00:20:15.680
my pain from what my ex was doing. Do y'all understand? Yeah. And that's really common too.

406
00:20:16.640 --> 00:20:22.880
God was actually protecting me and providing in so many ways that whole time. But when I was in

407
00:20:22.960 --> 00:20:30.240
the midst of it, I was so focused on the pain and victimhood. My mindset was I'm a victim.

408
00:20:32.080 --> 00:20:39.040
And so it was very hard for me to see right back then, like in those moments, how God was there,

409
00:20:39.040 --> 00:20:43.280
how he was orchestrating things, how he was protecting me. He was providing a way out for

410
00:20:43.280 --> 00:20:49.120
me. God came on a rescue mission for me. He came searching for me. He was there all along,

411
00:20:49.120 --> 00:20:53.600
but I just didn't know it. I mean, I had a close relationship with him, y'all. It's not like I

412
00:20:53.600 --> 00:21:00.000
wasn't close with God. I talked to him all the time, but again, my brokenness in these areas

413
00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:06.480
caused me to not see him correctly. Okay. All right. I'm going to give you a couple of scriptures

414
00:21:06.480 --> 00:21:12.320
and then we're going to do our first breakout session. Proverbs 12 49, a wife of noble character

415
00:21:12.320 --> 00:21:19.440
is her husband's crown. Do you believe that you're the crown of your future husband

416
00:21:19.440 --> 00:21:25.280
and not in a prideful way, but just like you're a blessing to his life?

417
00:21:28.080 --> 00:21:32.240
Maybe you don't even know that you're a blessing to your own life and your own being,

418
00:21:32.240 --> 00:21:40.640
let alone anybody else. Ephesians 1 5 says in love, he predestined us for adoption to

419
00:21:40.640 --> 00:21:43.680
sonship through Jesus Christ in accordance with his pleasure and will.

420
00:21:46.480 --> 00:21:52.080
Isaiah 43 4 says, since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you,

421
00:21:52.960 --> 00:21:57.920
I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life.

422
00:21:58.880 --> 00:22:03.520
God's saying, I'm going to, because I love you, I'm going to, I'm going to go and I'm going to

423
00:22:03.520 --> 00:22:08.160
give all this money and I'm going to give nations and stuff because that's how much he wants us.

424
00:22:09.120 --> 00:22:16.400
Luke 12 7 says, indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid.

425
00:22:17.040 --> 00:22:23.360
You are worth more than sparrows. Here's your breakout question. Number one, for those of you

426
00:22:23.360 --> 00:22:28.080
that are joining us for the first time, when I get the breakout set up, you'll see a pop up on

427
00:22:28.080 --> 00:22:32.000
your screen to join the breakout. Want to encourage you all. You're going to get into a room with

428
00:22:32.000 --> 00:22:37.520
someone you might not know, but guess what? After today, you'll know them. Okay. And for those of

429
00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:42.240
you that have a lot of fear around that one, encourage you to come out of hiding. Trust that

430
00:22:42.240 --> 00:22:48.560
God has led you here at this time on this day for such a time as this to have the conversations

431
00:22:48.560 --> 00:22:51.840
that you're going to have in these breakout sessions. I can't tell you how many people

432
00:22:51.840 --> 00:22:56.240
get breakthrough even from the conversations in the breakout rooms. Okay. So stay fully engaged

433
00:22:56.240 --> 00:23:01.760
and open and let's see what God wants to do. Here's the question. What lie have you been

434
00:23:01.760 --> 00:23:08.240
believing that you need to invite God to come into so that you can heal? I'm going to, I'll

435
00:23:08.240 --> 00:23:14.720
say it again for you. Okay. What lie have you been believing that you need to invite God into

436
00:23:15.280 --> 00:23:21.360
so that you can heal? Okay. I'm going to set these breakouts up. I'm going to keep it

437
00:23:22.320 --> 00:23:27.760
kind of short and sweet today. So keep it short, brief and powerful for me. Okay. Ladies,

438
00:23:28.320 --> 00:23:34.480
I'm going to do two to a room and let's do, let's see, we're at 137.

439
00:23:36.080 --> 00:23:40.160
Let's do five minutes. So that'll give each of you two and a half minutes to say what lie,

440
00:23:40.800 --> 00:23:44.160
if you have extra time, you can say where you're from, what led you to the community,

441
00:23:44.160 --> 00:23:48.800
but talk about the lie each one of you first. Okay. All right, here you go. I'm praying for

442
00:23:48.800 --> 00:23:53.360
you all while you're in there. Go ahead and click to join those rooms. If there's anyone

443
00:23:54.320 --> 00:23:57.920
that's not joining a breakout today, cause you're at work or some reason,

444
00:23:57.920 --> 00:24:00.960
please put that in the chat for me. So I know to move people around.

445
00:24:00.960 --> 00:24:28.560
Okay. Here we go.

446
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.060
you

447
00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:32.060
you

448
00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:02.060
you

449
00:26:17.060 --> 00:26:24.580
Hi Stephanie, I can put you in a room. Um, hi, so sorry. Uh, let's put you down in room eight. They're talking about

450
00:26:24.580 --> 00:26:31.580
Um, what lie have you been believing that you need to invite God into so he can heal it? Okay. Awesome

451
00:26:54.580 --> 00:26:56.580
You

452
00:27:24.580 --> 00:27:26.580
You

453
00:27:54.580 --> 00:27:56.580
You

454
00:28:24.580 --> 00:28:26.580
You

455
00:28:55.580 --> 00:28:59.460
For those on the replay when you're seeing this just want to encourage you

456
00:28:59.460 --> 00:29:04.020
I just realized I forgot to press pause so you have that blank time, but hopefully I'll take time

457
00:29:04.780 --> 00:29:07.860
To process those lies that you've been believing as well

458
00:29:07.860 --> 00:29:10.840
Would love to have you put those in the community chat group

459
00:29:11.020 --> 00:29:17.160
So we can respond to you there and help you unpack those lies that you're maybe battling and struggling with as well

460
00:29:18.100 --> 00:29:23.020
So just want to encourage those watching the replay to do that. Welcome back ladies. We'll have everybody here

461
00:29:23.500 --> 00:29:28.340
Back with us in about 28 seconds. It looks like some people are still chatting in their group

462
00:29:30.620 --> 00:29:32.620
Perla nice to see you

463
00:29:33.100 --> 00:29:37.300
Welcome. Is this your second week? I can't remember. I'm on

464
00:29:37.980 --> 00:29:41.020
Third going into fourth. Okay. Awesome

465
00:29:41.820 --> 00:29:43.820
nice

466
00:29:43.820 --> 00:29:47.580
Welcome welcome. All right. We have like seven seconds and then everyone will be back

467
00:29:47.580 --> 00:29:54.300
Okay, here they come hello, welcome back so good to have everyone

468
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:07.280
I'm just going to do, yeah, there we go. Perfect. There we go. All right, so who is willing?

469
00:30:07.280 --> 00:30:11.360
Well, probably just because I have a good amount of content for this second topic,

470
00:30:11.360 --> 00:30:15.840
I'll probably take maybe two to three, and then I'll see kind of where we're at on time,

471
00:30:15.840 --> 00:30:19.920
because sometimes some coaching takes a little longer than others, so we'll just kind of play

472
00:30:19.920 --> 00:30:26.560
it by room, okay? Go ahead, and if there's anyone that is willing to share with the whole group

473
00:30:26.560 --> 00:30:30.240
what you shared in the breakout. Okay, awesome. Amy, I see you. Amy W.?

474
00:30:33.520 --> 00:30:39.040
Yeah, I think especially when it comes to marriage, I've not been married before,

475
00:30:39.040 --> 00:30:47.120
but yeah, and hope to be someday, but yeah, I think it's, you know, I keep thinking, okay,

476
00:30:47.120 --> 00:30:52.480
I need to fix this and fix this, because I'm very aware about issues and growing and learning,

477
00:30:52.480 --> 00:31:00.000
and I'm all for that. I love processing and working through things, but yeah, the lie can be

478
00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:08.960
where, you know, I'm not good enough, and yeah, and just I have to keep working on this, and then

479
00:31:08.960 --> 00:31:13.600
I'll be ready to get married, you know, and then God will send someone, because I need to do these

480
00:31:13.600 --> 00:31:24.320
steps first, yeah. What are some things that you love to do for fun? I like outdoors, and I like

481
00:31:24.320 --> 00:31:38.880
traveling, and I like movies, and yeah, just going out to eat, hanging out with family and friends,

482
00:31:38.880 --> 00:31:43.600
yeah. Those are good things. Do you have a hard time being silly?

483
00:31:45.760 --> 00:31:52.160
It depends who I'm around, like if somebody's silly, it just like brings it out of me

484
00:31:52.160 --> 00:32:02.160
more. I work with little kids, you know, preschool, so I can be silly with that, so.

485
00:32:02.960 --> 00:32:09.680
All right, so do you feel like when you're around men that you are able to be silly and laid back

486
00:32:09.680 --> 00:32:16.240
and have fun, or do you feel like you feel more like you have to have everything in order

487
00:32:16.240 --> 00:32:23.360
and kind of have all your- I probably feel more reserved, yeah. Okay, so here's why I'm asking

488
00:32:23.360 --> 00:32:28.080
those questions. As you were talking, I just heard the Lord say, tell her to have fun.

489
00:32:29.040 --> 00:32:35.440
Cool, sounds good. Sometimes learners, I'm a learner myself, sometimes we can get into

490
00:32:35.440 --> 00:32:39.600
learner mode, learn this, learn that, and this is what's going to make you prepared.

491
00:32:40.800 --> 00:32:46.880
And at the end of the day, if we're always in that place, we really take less time to just

492
00:32:46.880 --> 00:32:52.320
cut up and have fun, and then we get around guys. Guess what guys like? You don't have to not live

493
00:32:52.320 --> 00:32:57.840
good, but they like women that can have fun, that can kind of cut up, that can be adventurous.

494
00:32:59.040 --> 00:33:05.840
It doesn't mean we have to be who we're not, but the reality is that if we come out of that place

495
00:33:05.840 --> 00:33:14.720
a little bit and understand that we can have fun too, and there's balance that's so key. So

496
00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:19.600
to me, I remember the first time someone was like, they were doing this

497
00:33:19.920 --> 00:33:25.120
lesson and they were talking about all these different levels of living a really full,

498
00:33:25.120 --> 00:33:32.080
abundant life and fun, like an adventure was one of the things. And I remember when I took

499
00:33:32.080 --> 00:33:36.480
that assessment, that was like the thing I spent the least amount of time on,

500
00:33:37.760 --> 00:33:46.000
but I always wanted to do more of it. And the more my heart healed, the more I was able to just kind

501
00:33:46.080 --> 00:33:51.760
of be myself. I remember on one of my first dates, I'm not joking. I can't tell you exactly what we

502
00:33:51.760 --> 00:33:59.200
were talking about, but it was kind of goofy. And the guy, I could just tell he did, like,

503
00:33:59.200 --> 00:34:04.720
he was so kind of put together and reserved. He couldn't just kind of cut up with that either.

504
00:34:04.720 --> 00:34:08.639
And so he was a nice guy, you know, and that was still a good interaction, but it was one of those

505
00:34:08.639 --> 00:34:13.679
kind of moments like, oh, like he doesn't know what to do with this kind of quirkiness and

506
00:34:13.679 --> 00:34:18.080
silliness that I'm letting come out here right now. He didn't like mistreat me or anything like

507
00:34:18.080 --> 00:34:23.760
that, but I recognized it. You know what I'm saying? And so I think it's super important for

508
00:34:23.760 --> 00:34:29.280
us to understand that sometimes it's not that you have to do another thing.

509
00:34:30.480 --> 00:34:33.199
That is so good. Really good. Thank you.

510
00:34:34.480 --> 00:34:38.719
I want to encourage you to ask the Lord specifically for you. And you know,

511
00:34:38.719 --> 00:34:42.000
if this is resonating for some of the others, I would encourage y'all to do this too,

512
00:34:42.560 --> 00:34:47.920
but I would encourage you to say, Lord, like, what are some things I need to do to just have fun?

513
00:34:47.920 --> 00:34:55.360
And are there any things that are very childlike from when I was younger that I can activate

514
00:34:55.920 --> 00:34:59.840
and let the silly childlikeness come out in me?

515
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.320
I don't know why this is coming up,

516
00:35:01.320 --> 00:35:02.360
but I don't know if this will resonate,

517
00:35:02.360 --> 00:35:05.320
but even like finger painting, you all.

518
00:35:05.320 --> 00:35:06.760
You know, as adults, we're like,

519
00:35:06.760 --> 00:35:08.880
oh, don't get it messy, you know?

520
00:35:08.880 --> 00:35:11.720
I mean, some artists are like, yeah, they, you know,

521
00:35:11.720 --> 00:35:14.320
but if that's not your lane that you're in normally,

522
00:35:14.320 --> 00:35:16.880
like we kind of want it neat and, you know,

523
00:35:16.880 --> 00:35:18.400
we don't want to go outside the lines.

524
00:35:18.400 --> 00:35:20.640
And I just hear the Lord saying like,

525
00:35:20.640 --> 00:35:21.760
he wants you to kind of venture

526
00:35:21.760 --> 00:35:24.160
outside the lines a little bit.

527
00:35:24.160 --> 00:35:25.960
Okay, and so ask the Lord

528
00:35:25.960 --> 00:35:27.600
kind of what that looks like for you.

529
00:35:27.600 --> 00:35:30.320
Again, it's not you becoming something that you're not.

530
00:35:30.320 --> 00:35:34.160
This is about the little girl you kind of coming up,

531
00:35:34.160 --> 00:35:36.440
healing more and coming out to play.

532
00:35:37.640 --> 00:35:40.840
Yeah, a sense of humor is important for me to like,

533
00:35:41.800 --> 00:35:46.000
in a finding a mate is having a similar sense of humor

534
00:35:46.000 --> 00:35:48.440
and I can have a goofy sense of humor.

535
00:35:48.440 --> 00:35:51.280
So I really appreciate you saying that.

536
00:35:51.280 --> 00:35:53.800
Cause yeah, I think I need more freedom

537
00:35:53.800 --> 00:35:55.280
for that to come out.

538
00:35:55.280 --> 00:35:57.840
Yeah, and so to encourage you, yeah.

539
00:35:57.840 --> 00:35:59.640
And so on the flip side,

540
00:35:59.640 --> 00:36:01.520
y'all I've been married over two years now

541
00:36:01.520 --> 00:36:03.680
and my husband is like way more,

542
00:36:03.680 --> 00:36:05.000
he does dad jokes all the time.

543
00:36:05.000 --> 00:36:07.000
Sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're not.

544
00:36:07.000 --> 00:36:08.360
I know he can hear me right now,

545
00:36:08.360 --> 00:36:12.680
but so we have a lot of fun is what I'm trying to say.

546
00:36:12.680 --> 00:36:15.040
We cut up, I scare him all the time.

547
00:36:15.040 --> 00:36:16.720
He doesn't always like it when I scare him,

548
00:36:16.720 --> 00:36:17.960
but I love it when I do.

549
00:36:17.960 --> 00:36:20.240
And I crack myself up, you know?

550
00:36:20.240 --> 00:36:23.400
And so I think that's what I just want you all to hear

551
00:36:23.400 --> 00:36:26.200
is that what you've experienced in the past

552
00:36:26.200 --> 00:36:29.880
doesn't have to be what you experienced in your tomorrow.

553
00:36:29.880 --> 00:36:34.240
And as you let who you really are come out to play,

554
00:36:34.240 --> 00:36:36.440
if you're on a date and somebody doesn't really like that,

555
00:36:36.440 --> 00:36:39.080
that doesn't mean you have to stop being that person.

556
00:36:40.120 --> 00:36:42.720
Living who you are is going to help you

557
00:36:42.720 --> 00:36:45.000
attract a healthy spirit mate.

558
00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:46.120
Yeah, so good.

559
00:36:46.120 --> 00:36:48.240
I can't wait to hear kind of what comes out of that

560
00:36:48.240 --> 00:36:50.640
for you, Amy, and appreciate you sharing.

561
00:36:50.640 --> 00:36:53.240
Is there anyone else that feels led to share today?

562
00:36:55.840 --> 00:36:56.680
Awesome.

563
00:36:56.680 --> 00:36:57.560
Is Allegra?

564
00:36:57.560 --> 00:36:58.400
Is that right?

565
00:36:58.400 --> 00:36:59.240
Yes, yep, that's me.

566
00:36:59.240 --> 00:37:00.440
Awesome, go ahead.

567
00:37:00.440 --> 00:37:04.360
Similar to Amy, I was saying that I'm not being good enough.

568
00:37:04.360 --> 00:37:05.920
And I think that stems from like,

569
00:37:05.920 --> 00:37:09.000
even from like sports in class,

570
00:37:09.000 --> 00:37:13.560
being the last to be selected, not being selected,

571
00:37:13.560 --> 00:37:15.920
with peer groups not being selected.

572
00:37:15.920 --> 00:37:18.520
And it's like, okay, I'm not good enough.

573
00:37:18.520 --> 00:37:21.120
So let me withdraw.

574
00:37:21.120 --> 00:37:24.960
Let me not even put myself in situations

575
00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:27.440
where rejection can happen.

576
00:37:29.200 --> 00:37:31.960
So tell me what it was like when you were little.

577
00:37:31.960 --> 00:37:33.040
Were you shy?

578
00:37:33.040 --> 00:37:36.680
Were you afraid to interact with other kids?

579
00:37:36.680 --> 00:37:37.920
No, I wasn't.

580
00:37:37.920 --> 00:37:42.400
I was very, I would say outgoing,

581
00:37:42.400 --> 00:37:44.480
but I wasn't like the sports type.

582
00:37:44.480 --> 00:37:47.360
I was heavier as a child.

583
00:37:47.920 --> 00:37:51.840
And so I think that carried through.

584
00:37:51.840 --> 00:37:54.760
I went to a great high school, all girls high school.

585
00:37:54.760 --> 00:37:58.520
So confidence was there, but still like any,

586
00:37:58.520 --> 00:38:02.640
now I see like in co-ed situations, it's like withdrawing.

587
00:38:02.640 --> 00:38:06.560
So even at church, like in group settings

588
00:38:06.560 --> 00:38:11.560
where there is a man like withdrawing, not saying much.

589
00:38:13.320 --> 00:38:14.160
Yeah.

590
00:38:14.160 --> 00:38:17.120
Okay, so for you, what I would say here is

591
00:38:17.880 --> 00:38:20.240
especially because it seemed like God's highlighting

592
00:38:20.240 --> 00:38:22.280
the co-ed stuff with you,

593
00:38:22.280 --> 00:38:23.760
I want to encourage you to ask the Lord,

594
00:38:23.760 --> 00:38:28.640
when is the first time that you were in a situation

595
00:38:28.640 --> 00:38:31.040
with co-ed boys and girls,

596
00:38:31.040 --> 00:38:34.600
where you felt like you needed to withdraw and pull back?

597
00:38:36.120 --> 00:38:39.120
Okay, and just want to make sure you all know

598
00:38:39.120 --> 00:38:40.800
when you're doing this process,

599
00:38:40.800 --> 00:38:43.120
you just, whatever comes up first,

600
00:38:43.120 --> 00:38:44.920
for now, you're going to take that as,

601
00:38:44.920 --> 00:38:47.320
okay, this is the first thing, okay?

602
00:38:47.320 --> 00:38:49.560
Now, if you're not,

603
00:38:49.560 --> 00:38:51.800
if you're still feeling like there's more to that

604
00:38:51.800 --> 00:38:54.440
and we'll coach you over that more and more,

605
00:38:54.440 --> 00:38:55.680
but that's where then you would say,

606
00:38:55.680 --> 00:38:57.160
okay, Lord, you brought this up.

607
00:38:57.160 --> 00:38:59.040
Like, what do you want to reveal to me about this?

608
00:38:59.040 --> 00:39:01.800
And then you would just ask him, is this the root?

609
00:39:01.800 --> 00:39:03.480
Is this the first time?

610
00:39:03.480 --> 00:39:04.960
Or was there another time

611
00:39:04.960 --> 00:39:07.320
that this kind of similar thing happened

612
00:39:07.320 --> 00:39:11.080
where I was with co-ed and I pulled back?

613
00:39:12.040 --> 00:39:14.720
And also, did I ever pull back

614
00:39:14.720 --> 00:39:17.040
when my mom and dad were both present?

615
00:39:19.120 --> 00:39:21.480
You know, I just felt like that came right up.

616
00:39:21.480 --> 00:39:22.320
And so-

617
00:39:22.320 --> 00:39:23.760
I did.

618
00:39:23.760 --> 00:39:25.600
Okay, so tell us about that.

619
00:39:25.600 --> 00:39:27.240
What did that look like for you?

620
00:39:28.920 --> 00:39:31.160
I think, I love my dad.

621
00:39:31.160 --> 00:39:34.920
My dad is like one of my favorite people,

622
00:39:34.920 --> 00:39:39.920
but I think even then he was very reserved.

623
00:39:40.360 --> 00:39:42.520
And so I would pull back

624
00:39:42.520 --> 00:39:44.920
and I always wanted my father's approval.

625
00:39:44.920 --> 00:39:49.920
So it's like, okay, let me just come into the image

626
00:39:50.160 --> 00:39:53.320
that dad says it's acceptable.

627
00:39:53.320 --> 00:39:57.480
Okay, so were you too loud or something?

628
00:39:57.480 --> 00:39:59.080
Oh yes, my dad always told me.

629
00:39:59.080 --> 00:39:59.920
He said, oh-

630
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.880
You talk too much.

631
00:40:01.880 --> 00:40:03.240
Girl, you talk too much.

632
00:40:03.240 --> 00:40:04.360
You were too loud.

633
00:40:04.360 --> 00:40:06.240
And so I would shut down and I said,

634
00:40:06.240 --> 00:40:08.640
Lord, I'm gonna start talking to you.

635
00:40:08.640 --> 00:40:09.960
And so, I mean, that was good

636
00:40:09.960 --> 00:40:13.000
because it opened up a prayer life to this day.

637
00:40:13.000 --> 00:40:15.160
But at the same time, it's like,

638
00:40:16.080 --> 00:40:17.080
I was told those things

639
00:40:17.080 --> 00:40:19.040
and that I wanted to respect my dad.

640
00:40:19.040 --> 00:40:21.400
So pull back.

641
00:40:21.400 --> 00:40:23.360
Yeah, so now what I'm gonna encourage you to do

642
00:40:23.360 --> 00:40:27.240
is I'm gonna encourage you to come back out of there.

643
00:40:27.240 --> 00:40:28.360
Okay.

644
00:40:28.360 --> 00:40:29.560
Because here's the thing,

645
00:40:29.560 --> 00:40:31.240
while it does, I don't, you know,

646
00:40:31.240 --> 00:40:32.120
and this is a thing.

647
00:40:32.120 --> 00:40:35.400
And even as we go into the mother wound stuff, ladies,

648
00:40:35.400 --> 00:40:37.840
we can have really great parents,

649
00:40:37.840 --> 00:40:41.320
but everybody has brokenness on some level.

650
00:40:41.320 --> 00:40:43.400
And so if we're not healed,

651
00:40:43.400 --> 00:40:46.480
we're showing up and doing things and saying things

652
00:40:46.480 --> 00:40:48.840
to our kids through that brokenness,

653
00:40:48.840 --> 00:40:50.600
or, you know, dad could have been tired.

654
00:40:50.600 --> 00:40:51.720
Dad could have been stressed.

655
00:40:51.720 --> 00:40:53.880
I mean, there's so many factors.

656
00:40:53.880 --> 00:40:55.120
I mean, I've made mistakes,

657
00:40:55.120 --> 00:40:58.000
even with my like stepson, my spiritual daughters,

658
00:40:58.000 --> 00:41:02.160
like we all make mistakes and say things or do things.

659
00:41:02.160 --> 00:41:04.920
But the reality is, is we can be good parents.

660
00:41:04.920 --> 00:41:07.000
We can be amazing parents,

661
00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:12.000
but if something we do or say causes brokenness

662
00:41:12.120 --> 00:41:16.240
or causes our children to shut down in some way,

663
00:41:16.240 --> 00:41:18.440
then that still happened, right?

664
00:41:18.440 --> 00:41:21.200
So we still need to heal from those things.

665
00:41:21.200 --> 00:41:25.080
So if you felt like, even like that,

666
00:41:25.080 --> 00:41:26.280
I would write that down

667
00:41:26.280 --> 00:41:30.480
and ask the Lord to reveal, like, did that cause you pain?

668
00:41:30.480 --> 00:41:34.360
You know, were there ways where God wants to come into that

669
00:41:34.360 --> 00:41:37.240
and invite you to come back out of that box, so to speak,

670
00:41:37.240 --> 00:41:38.680
that you went into?

671
00:41:38.680 --> 00:41:41.800
Because I almost wonder too,

672
00:41:41.800 --> 00:41:44.080
I mean, you seem like a really great verbal processor.

673
00:41:44.080 --> 00:41:46.200
It doesn't seem like you're afraid to talk in public,

674
00:41:46.200 --> 00:41:50.040
but I do wonder if you're around co-ed men,

675
00:41:50.040 --> 00:41:52.160
do you not talk as much?

676
00:41:52.160 --> 00:41:53.840
Do you pull back?

677
00:41:53.840 --> 00:41:56.720
You know, again, as you explore this with the Lord,

678
00:41:56.720 --> 00:41:59.520
just kind of write down any kind of images,

679
00:41:59.520 --> 00:42:02.000
words, phrases, memories, anything that comes up,

680
00:42:02.000 --> 00:42:04.800
even if they don't all make sense, ladies, we record,

681
00:42:04.800 --> 00:42:06.880
we write it down and we ask God

682
00:42:06.880 --> 00:42:09.800
really good questions about it, okay?

683
00:42:09.800 --> 00:42:10.640
Yes, thank you.

684
00:42:10.640 --> 00:42:12.280
And let's just see, yeah, you're welcome.

685
00:42:12.280 --> 00:42:13.840
Let's see where he takes you.

686
00:42:13.840 --> 00:42:16.960
Because I do feel like, and the other thing I'll say

687
00:42:16.960 --> 00:42:19.120
is come out of agreement and partnership

688
00:42:19.120 --> 00:42:22.280
with the lies you're never selected.

689
00:42:22.280 --> 00:42:23.120
Okay.

690
00:42:23.560 --> 00:42:26.280
Even though that actually happened,

691
00:42:28.040 --> 00:42:30.680
you have to first come out of partnership and agreement

692
00:42:30.680 --> 00:42:35.680
with nobody picks me, nobody wants me.

693
00:42:36.040 --> 00:42:37.920
Because those are the lies that we tend to believe

694
00:42:37.920 --> 00:42:39.920
when we're not picked, when we're not selected.

695
00:42:39.920 --> 00:42:41.920
And it is hurtful, right?

696
00:42:41.920 --> 00:42:42.760
Right.

697
00:42:42.760 --> 00:42:45.360
But when we come out of partnership and agreement

698
00:42:45.360 --> 00:42:47.320
with those things, man, we just,

699
00:42:47.320 --> 00:42:50.400
we will start showing up differently, ladies, we will.

700
00:42:50.400 --> 00:42:51.320
We will.

701
00:42:51.320 --> 00:42:52.720
So good.

702
00:42:52.760 --> 00:42:53.760
Yes, this was so good.

703
00:42:53.760 --> 00:42:54.600
Thank you so much.

704
00:42:54.600 --> 00:42:55.840
You're welcome, thank you.

705
00:42:55.840 --> 00:42:58.160
All right, because I have so much content on the next thing,

706
00:42:58.160 --> 00:43:00.200
I'm gonna go ahead and shift into that

707
00:43:00.200 --> 00:43:01.920
because I don't want you all to miss out on this

708
00:43:01.920 --> 00:43:05.040
because I really do believe God has some divine appointments

709
00:43:05.040 --> 00:43:06.280
for you all today.

710
00:43:07.800 --> 00:43:10.440
All right, so healing from mother wounds

711
00:43:10.440 --> 00:43:11.520
and we're gonna talk,

712
00:43:11.520 --> 00:43:14.040
like you can apply this to father wounds as well.

713
00:43:14.040 --> 00:43:17.720
I am gonna speak more from the mom perspective today.

714
00:43:17.720 --> 00:43:19.400
You can also apply this to,

715
00:43:19.400 --> 00:43:22.280
I felt led to include authority figures.

716
00:43:22.840 --> 00:43:25.560
This could be people at school, people at church,

717
00:43:25.560 --> 00:43:30.560
people at work, anyone in authority over you

718
00:43:31.120 --> 00:43:33.960
that did or said something at any point in your life

719
00:43:33.960 --> 00:43:37.200
that caused you harm or pain, okay?

720
00:43:37.200 --> 00:43:40.440
All right, so as we start to go into the mother wounds,

721
00:43:40.440 --> 00:43:43.280
I just, I'm gonna kind of be asking some questions.

722
00:43:43.280 --> 00:43:44.440
Again, I want you guys to,

723
00:43:44.440 --> 00:43:46.040
if it's in your phone or on your paper,

724
00:43:46.040 --> 00:43:50.560
just write down anything that comes to mind as we go along.

725
00:43:51.440 --> 00:43:53.760
So my first question for you is this,

726
00:43:53.760 --> 00:43:57.800
where do you currently struggle to receive love?

727
00:44:00.520 --> 00:44:02.120
Where do you currently struggle?

728
00:44:02.120 --> 00:44:03.440
And this can be with anyone.

729
00:44:03.440 --> 00:44:06.160
It could be in regards to anything.

730
00:44:06.160 --> 00:44:08.840
You know, is there any kind of situations that happen

731
00:44:08.840 --> 00:44:11.440
where like kind of we're talking about even with Allegra

732
00:44:11.440 --> 00:44:15.840
where you pull back or you kind of pull in the reins

733
00:44:15.840 --> 00:44:18.320
and you don't show up as your full authentic self

734
00:44:18.320 --> 00:44:21.560
and maybe you don't feel as open to receive the love

735
00:44:21.560 --> 00:44:24.040
that somebody else is trying to give you?

736
00:44:26.120 --> 00:44:27.560
Here's the next one.

737
00:44:28.480 --> 00:44:32.560
What wounds from the past with your mom, dad,

738
00:44:32.560 --> 00:44:36.360
or people in authority over you still need to be healed

739
00:44:36.360 --> 00:44:39.920
so that you can receive love more freely?

740
00:44:41.920 --> 00:44:43.000
What?

741
00:44:43.000 --> 00:44:44.960
Questions one more time, I'm so sorry.

742
00:44:44.960 --> 00:44:45.960
Oh, that's okay.

743
00:44:45.960 --> 00:44:48.680
Yeah, and I'll try to put some of these up

744
00:44:48.680 --> 00:44:50.960
in the group for y'all too as you're processing.

745
00:44:50.960 --> 00:44:53.320
The first one is where do you currently struggle

746
00:44:53.320 --> 00:44:54.960
to receive love?

747
00:44:57.360 --> 00:44:58.200
Okay.

748
00:44:59.520 --> 00:45:00.360
The second.

749
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.700
One is, what wounds from the past with your mom, dad,

750
00:45:04.700 --> 00:45:08.900
or people in authority over you still need to be healed

751
00:45:08.900 --> 00:45:12.840
so that you can receive love more freely?

752
00:45:12.840 --> 00:45:15.600
And ladies, you might know in part today, okay?

753
00:45:15.600 --> 00:45:17.200
So this is something that I want you

754
00:45:17.200 --> 00:45:19.160
to kind of have a continual conversation

755
00:45:19.160 --> 00:45:22.480
with the Lord about today is just the starting point.

756
00:45:22.480 --> 00:45:24.560
So don't feel like you have to list everything.

757
00:45:24.560 --> 00:45:27.560
It's just what anything that comes up in your spirit today.

758
00:45:28.560 --> 00:45:32.680
The next one is, are there areas you have walls up

759
00:45:32.680 --> 00:45:36.180
and rebel against God?

760
00:45:36.180 --> 00:45:37.560
Because when you were younger,

761
00:45:37.560 --> 00:45:39.480
you chose a path of rebellion

762
00:45:39.480 --> 00:45:42.900
with your parents or authority figures.

763
00:45:45.100 --> 00:45:46.720
That one's kind of long.

764
00:45:46.720 --> 00:45:51.280
Are there areas you have walls up and rebel against God?

765
00:45:51.280 --> 00:45:52.640
Because when you were younger,

766
00:45:52.640 --> 00:45:54.540
you chose a path of rebellion

767
00:45:54.540 --> 00:45:57.620
with your parents or authority figures.

768
00:45:57.620 --> 00:45:59.300
And I wanna make sure y'all understand,

769
00:45:59.300 --> 00:46:04.220
rebellion isn't always like outward rebellion.

770
00:46:05.380 --> 00:46:10.020
Rebellion is also this internal heart posture, okay?

771
00:46:10.020 --> 00:46:13.520
And so we can rebel and have disgust

772
00:46:13.520 --> 00:46:16.040
towards our parents in our spirit.

773
00:46:16.040 --> 00:46:19.660
We can have this attitude like, I don't care what they say.

774
00:46:19.660 --> 00:46:22.600
Like, you know, cause if we're mad about the brokenness,

775
00:46:22.600 --> 00:46:24.920
or even again, if you had a great, you know,

776
00:46:24.920 --> 00:46:27.520
you grew up in a great family,

777
00:46:27.520 --> 00:46:31.840
there's most likely this has shown up in some other realm

778
00:46:31.840 --> 00:46:34.080
because the enemy is always trying to bring breakdown

779
00:46:34.080 --> 00:46:36.120
in relationship and connection.

780
00:46:36.120 --> 00:46:38.120
And he always wants us to feel like an outsider.

781
00:46:38.120 --> 00:46:39.920
He wants us to feel like nobody ever loves us.

782
00:46:39.920 --> 00:46:41.120
Nobody chooses us.

783
00:46:41.120 --> 00:46:43.200
So maybe you're trying to get a promotion at work

784
00:46:43.200 --> 00:46:45.560
and you know, it's just not happening.

785
00:46:45.560 --> 00:46:48.880
And so you start to feel rebellion towards your boss.

786
00:46:50.080 --> 00:46:52.400
This can happen in church too, you know?

787
00:46:53.080 --> 00:46:56.360
Somebody has an idea or they want to do something

788
00:46:56.360 --> 00:46:57.920
and they're casting vision.

789
00:46:57.920 --> 00:47:00.640
And you're the person that's just resistant to that.

790
00:47:00.640 --> 00:47:02.840
Cause no way, no way, no way.

791
00:47:02.840 --> 00:47:03.900
My idea is better.

792
00:47:03.900 --> 00:47:05.600
This is the way we should go.

793
00:47:05.600 --> 00:47:07.480
It shows up in all kinds of ways, ladies.

794
00:47:07.480 --> 00:47:10.280
But rebellion is something that really holds

795
00:47:10.280 --> 00:47:11.840
a lot of us back.

796
00:47:11.840 --> 00:47:15.020
And again, some of you might've acted out on that rebellion,

797
00:47:15.020 --> 00:47:16.560
you know, in different ways.

798
00:47:16.560 --> 00:47:18.920
It could have been even in your marriage.

799
00:47:18.920 --> 00:47:21.240
Maybe things were being withheld from you.

800
00:47:21.240 --> 00:47:23.560
And so you decided to have an affair.

801
00:47:23.560 --> 00:47:24.400
I don't know.

802
00:47:24.400 --> 00:47:27.120
I'm just saying like this rebellion in our hearts

803
00:47:27.120 --> 00:47:28.400
has led us astray.

804
00:47:28.400 --> 00:47:30.680
And so where has that shown up for you?

805
00:47:33.120 --> 00:47:35.640
God loves you so much and he doesn't want you to continue

806
00:47:35.640 --> 00:47:38.360
to feel separated from him because of mistakes

807
00:47:38.360 --> 00:47:41.980
your parents or those in authority made that hurt you.

808
00:47:42.960 --> 00:47:45.640
So today, the point of why I'm going into this,

809
00:47:45.640 --> 00:47:48.800
God wants you to know that he wants to be connected to you.

810
00:47:49.320 --> 00:47:52.720
He loves you and he wants to take,

811
00:47:52.720 --> 00:47:57.160
if you could imagine two chasms and there's a space,

812
00:47:57.160 --> 00:47:59.280
there's a big space in between,

813
00:47:59.280 --> 00:48:02.240
that's kind of like what's been created over the years,

814
00:48:02.240 --> 00:48:05.560
but God's wanting to kind of remove that chasm

815
00:48:05.560 --> 00:48:09.520
and bring connection back into what's existing

816
00:48:09.520 --> 00:48:12.780
between you and him, first and foremost.

817
00:48:14.360 --> 00:48:16.680
I know a lot of y'all came in for the spirit mate,

818
00:48:16.680 --> 00:48:18.400
but the spirit mate's the cherry on top.

819
00:48:18.960 --> 00:48:21.120
Your love relationship, your intimacy with the Lord

820
00:48:21.120 --> 00:48:24.200
and connecting with him is first and foremost,

821
00:48:24.200 --> 00:48:25.580
most important.

822
00:48:25.580 --> 00:48:28.880
And out of the overflow and the abundance of our love

823
00:48:28.880 --> 00:48:31.780
and our understanding of his love for us

824
00:48:31.780 --> 00:48:33.680
and that communion with him,

825
00:48:33.680 --> 00:48:37.240
that is when we shift into becoming

826
00:48:37.240 --> 00:48:39.860
more of our authentic self, okay?

827
00:48:41.100 --> 00:48:43.840
As we also heal, of course, that's a huge part of it.

828
00:48:43.840 --> 00:48:44.660
Okay, here we go.

829
00:48:44.660 --> 00:48:46.040
We're gonna keep going.

830
00:48:46.060 --> 00:48:49.280
You may feel like you were emotionally rejected,

831
00:48:49.280 --> 00:48:53.280
abandoned or orphaned in some way by your parents.

832
00:48:53.280 --> 00:48:56.960
God does not want to leave you in this condition.

833
00:48:56.960 --> 00:48:59.580
His heart is calling out to you today.

834
00:49:02.520 --> 00:49:05.240
Neglect can look a lot of different ways, ladies.

835
00:49:05.240 --> 00:49:09.200
My mom was a single mom, four kids,

836
00:49:09.200 --> 00:49:14.200
and I do think with the knowledge and information she had,

837
00:49:14.720 --> 00:49:16.040
she did her best.

838
00:49:16.040 --> 00:49:19.040
I think that she could have looked for more help,

839
00:49:19.040 --> 00:49:22.640
but because of the brokenness that she was raised in,

840
00:49:22.640 --> 00:49:26.920
she was taught to not seek out help from other people.

841
00:49:26.920 --> 00:49:29.680
There was a lot of pride in my mom's family.

842
00:49:29.680 --> 00:49:33.000
And so my mom didn't a lot.

843
00:49:33.000 --> 00:49:35.920
She did some, but not in a lot of ways.

844
00:49:35.920 --> 00:49:39.220
And that really did kind of ripple effect into our family.

845
00:49:40.100 --> 00:49:44.540
But I'm saying that to say, when my mom was a single mom,

846
00:49:44.540 --> 00:49:48.020
at one point, my brother, my mom, my brother,

847
00:49:48.020 --> 00:49:50.700
and my oldest brother and my sister

848
00:49:50.700 --> 00:49:52.860
were hit by a drunk driver.

849
00:49:52.860 --> 00:49:56.240
And both of my siblings were hurt very, very badly.

850
00:49:57.300 --> 00:49:59.100
My brother ended up having,

851
00:49:59.100 --> 00:50:00.500
once he came out of the coma,

852
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.440
they took him to a rehab in a totally different city.

853
00:50:03.440 --> 00:50:05.760
My sister was at a different hospital.

854
00:50:05.760 --> 00:50:08.360
At the time this happened, I was in fourth grade.

855
00:50:09.360 --> 00:50:11.940
My mom was gone a lot, you all.

856
00:50:12.840 --> 00:50:17.840
Did my mom mean to cause me to feel neglected and abandoned?

857
00:50:18.360 --> 00:50:21.000
No, but that's how I felt.

858
00:50:21.000 --> 00:50:22.720
And there were a lot of other things

859
00:50:22.720 --> 00:50:24.600
even before that thing happened

860
00:50:24.600 --> 00:50:28.280
that really fed into that more and more and more.

861
00:50:28.280 --> 00:50:30.040
But I just wanted to put that out there

862
00:50:30.040 --> 00:50:34.080
because my mom was trying to parent the best that she could

863
00:50:34.080 --> 00:50:36.400
in that really tough situation.

864
00:50:36.400 --> 00:50:38.520
And unfortunately, I was the baby.

865
00:50:38.520 --> 00:50:41.180
I was the one that kept getting shipped to my friends

866
00:50:41.180 --> 00:50:42.400
or shipped to this person.

867
00:50:42.400 --> 00:50:44.500
And I had a good time with my friends,

868
00:50:44.500 --> 00:50:49.140
but ultimately I spent a lot of time alone, okay?

869
00:50:49.140 --> 00:50:53.480
So I believed growing up, I'm alone.

870
00:50:53.480 --> 00:50:54.840
I'm not a priority.

871
00:50:55.920 --> 00:50:57.000
I'm not enough.

872
00:50:57.000 --> 00:50:58.040
My dad left.

873
00:50:58.040 --> 00:50:58.880
He abandoned us.

874
00:50:58.880 --> 00:51:00.680
He went and chose another family.

875
00:51:00.680 --> 00:51:02.680
So I'm just, I know I'm stirring up a lot today.

876
00:51:02.680 --> 00:51:04.800
I'm kind of stirring the pot quite a bit.

877
00:51:04.800 --> 00:51:05.680
And so I want y'all to know,

878
00:51:05.680 --> 00:51:07.540
I wanna be there for you in the group this week.

879
00:51:07.540 --> 00:51:08.640
If this is hard,

880
00:51:08.640 --> 00:51:11.900
let's process it together throughout the week, okay?

881
00:51:12.760 --> 00:51:14.520
I'm gonna give you some scriptures.

882
00:51:16.200 --> 00:51:18.520
Psalm 27.10 is the first one.

883
00:51:18.520 --> 00:51:20.880
Though my father and mother forsake me,

884
00:51:20.880 --> 00:51:23.340
the Lord will receive me.

885
00:51:24.560 --> 00:51:25.600
I'm gonna say that one again.

886
00:51:25.600 --> 00:51:27.800
Psalm 27.10.

887
00:51:27.800 --> 00:51:29.800
Though my father and mother forsake me,

888
00:51:29.800 --> 00:51:33.640
the Lord will receive me.

889
00:51:33.640 --> 00:51:36.240
Psalm 68, five through six A.

890
00:51:36.240 --> 00:51:39.120
I'm just doing that first part of verse six.

891
00:51:39.120 --> 00:51:41.800
It says a father to the fatherless,

892
00:51:41.800 --> 00:51:45.960
a defender of widows is God in his holy dwelling.

893
00:51:45.960 --> 00:51:48.600
God sets the lonely in families.

894
00:51:48.600 --> 00:51:51.460
He leads out the prisoners with singing.

895
00:51:52.460 --> 00:51:57.460
John 14.18 says, I will not leave you as orphans.

896
00:51:58.140 --> 00:51:59.940
I will come to you.

897
00:52:03.740 --> 00:52:07.100
So were there times that you felt alone?

898
00:52:07.100 --> 00:52:10.020
Did you feel like you were neglected in some way?

899
00:52:10.020 --> 00:52:12.540
Maybe you felt loved again in your family relationship,

900
00:52:12.540 --> 00:52:14.740
but maybe you have felt like

901
00:52:14.740 --> 00:52:16.580
there's a lot of authority figures

902
00:52:16.580 --> 00:52:18.380
who never let you move forward.

903
00:52:18.380 --> 00:52:19.780
Whatever that is,

904
00:52:19.820 --> 00:52:22.700
I wanna encourage you to not partner with orphan

905
00:52:22.700 --> 00:52:24.300
or that you're abandoned,

906
00:52:24.300 --> 00:52:26.060
where you have roots of rejection,

907
00:52:26.060 --> 00:52:29.300
that you would invite the Lord to come into those places

908
00:52:29.300 --> 00:52:32.440
and heal the lies and the trauma and the wounds

909
00:52:32.440 --> 00:52:35.320
so that you no longer believe that you're rejected,

910
00:52:35.320 --> 00:52:36.820
but you're chosen.

911
00:52:37.700 --> 00:52:39.380
We're a royal priesthood.

912
00:52:39.380 --> 00:52:42.420
God chose us from the foundations of the world.

913
00:52:42.420 --> 00:52:44.940
He sent his son to die on the cross

914
00:52:44.940 --> 00:52:46.460
for our forgiveness, for our healing,

915
00:52:46.460 --> 00:52:49.440
but also to make a way for us

916
00:52:49.440 --> 00:52:51.380
to be in relationship with Jesus

917
00:52:51.380 --> 00:52:53.280
as he is in relationship with the Father,

918
00:52:53.280 --> 00:52:55.220
which also means we get to be in relationship

919
00:52:55.220 --> 00:52:56.500
with the Holy Spirit,

920
00:52:56.500 --> 00:52:58.920
who is our comforter, our counselor, and our guide,

921
00:52:58.920 --> 00:53:01.060
who's here and is an ever present help

922
00:53:01.060 --> 00:53:02.380
in every time of trouble.

923
00:53:02.380 --> 00:53:05.360
He takes us by the hand if we let him

924
00:53:05.360 --> 00:53:08.020
and he'll walk with us and he'll talk with us.

925
00:53:09.180 --> 00:53:11.380
That is the God that we serve.

926
00:53:11.380 --> 00:53:14.060
That is the God that is in heaven above,

927
00:53:14.060 --> 00:53:15.900
but also comes down.

928
00:53:15.900 --> 00:53:19.340
He sent his son in the form of a man to relate to us.

929
00:53:20.400 --> 00:53:22.660
Do you know that Jesus calls us his friend?

930
00:53:23.900 --> 00:53:27.020
These are endearing terms, ladies.

931
00:53:27.020 --> 00:53:29.480
Endearing terms are said not just for fluff.

932
00:53:29.480 --> 00:53:31.780
I know our world throws the word love around

933
00:53:31.780 --> 00:53:35.240
just like, I love this person, I love that, I love this.

934
00:53:35.240 --> 00:53:37.400
And we do, we really like a lot of things,

935
00:53:37.400 --> 00:53:39.060
but I would even encourage you all

936
00:53:39.060 --> 00:53:40.980
to really kind of consider

937
00:53:41.900 --> 00:53:45.340
how often do you use the word love

938
00:53:45.340 --> 00:53:47.380
when maybe you need to reserve that

939
00:53:47.380 --> 00:53:49.380
for what you really do love.

940
00:53:49.380 --> 00:53:50.520
Does that make sense?

941
00:53:51.420 --> 00:53:53.020
All right, I'm gonna keep going.

942
00:53:53.020 --> 00:53:55.620
No matter what type of mother or father you've had,

943
00:53:55.620 --> 00:53:57.860
no matter how deeply they may have wounded you,

944
00:53:57.860 --> 00:54:02.660
God's unconditional love will always remember you.

945
00:54:05.120 --> 00:54:07.460
No matter what type of mother or father you had,

946
00:54:07.460 --> 00:54:09.640
no matter how deeply they may have wounded you,

947
00:54:09.640 --> 00:54:14.640
God's unconditional love will always remember you.

948
00:54:14.840 --> 00:54:18.640
Isaiah 49, verses 15 through 16 says this.

949
00:54:18.640 --> 00:54:22.840
Even these may forget, but I will not forget you.

950
00:54:22.840 --> 00:54:26.820
Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands.

951
00:54:29.520 --> 00:54:34.280
Moms are known for what's called storage love, okay?

952
00:54:35.760 --> 00:54:39.640
Storage love are these kinds of things.

953
00:54:39.640 --> 00:54:43.960
Affectionate touch, eye contact, tone of voice.

954
00:54:44.320 --> 00:54:48.120
When moms are healed and healthy

955
00:54:48.120 --> 00:54:50.440
and they walk in the femininity of God,

956
00:54:50.440 --> 00:54:53.440
because God is both masculine and feminine,

957
00:54:53.440 --> 00:54:57.440
women who walk in that will have these natural ability

958
00:54:57.440 --> 00:55:00.440
to show affection, to make eye contact.

959
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.560
Contact, yes, ladies.

960
00:55:03.560 --> 00:55:06.100
For those of you that struggle to make eye contact,

961
00:55:06.100 --> 00:55:08.320
that's a sign of the divine feminine

962
00:55:08.320 --> 00:55:10.800
that's struggling in your life, okay?

963
00:55:10.800 --> 00:55:14.320
Confidence in who we are that comes from healing

964
00:55:14.320 --> 00:55:16.400
and also our tone of voice.

965
00:55:18.320 --> 00:55:21.760
Do you ever struggle to get sharp with people?

966
00:55:21.760 --> 00:55:26.160
Maybe you, you know, kind of just critical, judgmental,

967
00:55:26.160 --> 00:55:28.720
you know, the guys are never good enough.

968
00:55:30.080 --> 00:55:33.120
That all comes from us not having balance

969
00:55:33.120 --> 00:55:36.360
and not being healed in our divine feminine

970
00:55:36.360 --> 00:55:40.320
really being not fully present, okay?

971
00:55:40.320 --> 00:55:43.360
But when that's all there and moms are healed,

972
00:55:43.360 --> 00:55:45.600
and it doesn't mean we have to be perfect, ladies, okay?

973
00:55:45.600 --> 00:55:47.840
Remember, we're becoming.

974
00:55:47.840 --> 00:55:50.940
We can make mistakes, but men and women of God

975
00:55:50.940 --> 00:55:52.480
who are healed and healthy and whole,

976
00:55:52.480 --> 00:55:53.520
when we make mistakes,

977
00:55:53.520 --> 00:55:55.800
y'all, we'll do our best to make it right.

978
00:55:55.800 --> 00:55:57.920
We'll even apologize to our kids

979
00:55:57.920 --> 00:56:00.680
if we do something that's not healthy.

980
00:56:00.680 --> 00:56:04.920
We'll humble ourselves and we'll seek forgiveness.

981
00:56:06.560 --> 00:56:09.380
My husband's like so good at it.

982
00:56:10.720 --> 00:56:13.200
He'll apologize to me all the time

983
00:56:13.200 --> 00:56:14.420
if there's something that he feels.

984
00:56:14.420 --> 00:56:15.260
And sometimes I'm like,

985
00:56:15.260 --> 00:56:16.900
you don't need to apologize for that.

986
00:56:16.900 --> 00:56:18.640
That was me, you know?

987
00:56:18.640 --> 00:56:21.240
And so I think it's really good

988
00:56:21.240 --> 00:56:25.120
when we walk in that humility and that forgiveness

989
00:56:25.120 --> 00:56:26.560
that we would keep short accounts.

990
00:56:26.560 --> 00:56:28.700
The Bible talks about that as well.

991
00:56:30.120 --> 00:56:33.440
Here's the thing, when we grow up without the storage,

992
00:56:33.440 --> 00:56:35.280
storage, I don't know how you say it,

993
00:56:35.280 --> 00:56:38.160
but it's S-T-O-R-G-E is how it's spelled.

994
00:56:38.160 --> 00:56:42.160
When we grow up without that present with our mother,

995
00:56:43.520 --> 00:56:45.680
okay, so that's that nurturing,

996
00:56:45.680 --> 00:56:49.680
that connector type of vibe that you get from your mom.

997
00:56:49.680 --> 00:56:53.920
When they look at you with love in their eyes, right?

998
00:56:53.960 --> 00:56:56.640
That adoration that they have of you as their kid.

999
00:56:56.640 --> 00:56:59.400
When we grow up without that stuff,

1000
00:56:59.400 --> 00:57:03.100
it can cause a deep inherent fear of relationship.

1001
00:57:04.520 --> 00:57:06.880
Okay, but here's the good thing.

1002
00:57:06.880 --> 00:57:10.520
God is here today and he wants to help you heal.

1003
00:57:10.520 --> 00:57:12.320
And he wants to help you break free

1004
00:57:12.320 --> 00:57:14.680
from the fear of relationships

1005
00:57:14.680 --> 00:57:17.080
that you've been battling with.

1006
00:57:17.080 --> 00:57:19.320
And some of you have gone into overdrive

1007
00:57:19.320 --> 00:57:22.880
and you're a people pleaser, okay?

1008
00:57:22.880 --> 00:57:24.560
Because when you grew up,

1009
00:57:24.560 --> 00:57:26.200
you felt like nobody was ever happy with you

1010
00:57:26.200 --> 00:57:27.960
or you believed the lie that nobody was.

1011
00:57:27.960 --> 00:57:29.240
And so you're like in overdrive.

1012
00:57:29.240 --> 00:57:31.240
You're trying to make everybody happy all the time

1013
00:57:31.240 --> 00:57:34.780
and you have no boundaries or very little boundaries.

1014
00:57:36.520 --> 00:57:39.000
Okay, and so we wanna kinda let God come

1015
00:57:39.000 --> 00:57:41.300
into all these places today and heal

1016
00:57:41.300 --> 00:57:43.560
and bring us further into balance,

1017
00:57:43.560 --> 00:57:45.800
bring us further into the divine feminine

1018
00:57:45.800 --> 00:57:47.220
and heal the wounds.

1019
00:57:47.220 --> 00:57:48.760
Again, we're not judging our moms.

1020
00:57:48.760 --> 00:57:51.320
I'm not bringing these things up, ladies,

1021
00:57:51.360 --> 00:57:55.160
about our moms, our dads, or these people in authority

1022
00:57:55.160 --> 00:57:57.640
so that we become angry and bitter.

1023
00:57:57.640 --> 00:58:01.160
I'm bringing them up so that you can choose

1024
00:58:01.160 --> 00:58:03.560
to forgive and heal.

1025
00:58:04.440 --> 00:58:07.860
One of the ladies that just, she just moved into phase two,

1026
00:58:07.860 --> 00:58:10.080
we had a session that wasn't exactly like this,

1027
00:58:10.080 --> 00:58:13.860
but we did kinda start talking about asking God

1028
00:58:13.860 --> 00:58:16.880
to show us the gold in other people.

1029
00:58:16.880 --> 00:58:20.760
It doesn't mean we have to not recognize the things

1030
00:58:21.200 --> 00:58:22.040
that aren't healthy.

1031
00:58:22.040 --> 00:58:22.860
It doesn't mean you have to go back

1032
00:58:22.860 --> 00:58:25.240
into toxic relationship with people,

1033
00:58:25.240 --> 00:58:29.360
but y'all, if we see the gold in people,

1034
00:58:29.360 --> 00:58:31.800
we will have compassion for them.

1035
00:58:31.800 --> 00:58:34.960
I'm gonna give you an example from my own life.

1036
00:58:34.960 --> 00:58:37.440
As I even have been processing some things

1037
00:58:37.440 --> 00:58:39.540
God has been bringing up, even this past weekend

1038
00:58:39.540 --> 00:58:41.440
regarding my parents, my mom and my dad,

1039
00:58:41.440 --> 00:58:42.860
God brought two different things up

1040
00:58:42.860 --> 00:58:44.780
over the last few days for me.

1041
00:58:44.780 --> 00:58:48.000
And as I was leaning into all of this stuff,

1042
00:58:48.000 --> 00:58:51.000
and that's what led me to deliver this to you all today,

1043
00:58:52.600 --> 00:58:53.760
I just was like, you know what?

1044
00:58:53.760 --> 00:58:56.200
I don't even know how I was born.

1045
00:58:56.200 --> 00:59:00.160
Like as far as, you know, naturally or C-section,

1046
00:59:00.160 --> 00:59:03.080
like I knew my dad left when I was born,

1047
00:59:03.080 --> 00:59:05.040
but like, was he at the hospital?

1048
00:59:05.040 --> 00:59:07.000
Was my mom there alone?

1049
00:59:07.000 --> 00:59:08.440
Like there were just all these questions

1050
00:59:08.440 --> 00:59:11.480
that started surfacing for me because I didn't need,

1051
00:59:11.480 --> 00:59:15.240
I don't remember anything below six years old

1052
00:59:15.240 --> 00:59:17.960
and no one ever really talked to me

1053
00:59:17.960 --> 00:59:19.800
about some of those things.

1054
00:59:19.800 --> 00:59:23.640
And so I reached out to an aunt who I feel close to

1055
00:59:23.640 --> 00:59:27.200
and I felt safe to ask some of those questions.

1056
00:59:27.200 --> 00:59:31.040
And y'all, I found out that my dad was not at the hospital.

1057
00:59:31.040 --> 00:59:33.020
My mom was there alone.

1058
00:59:34.040 --> 00:59:36.600
And my heart was breaking for her the other day

1059
00:59:38.400 --> 00:59:41.080
because I can't imagine being a mom of four

1060
00:59:41.080 --> 00:59:45.000
and my baby, my littlest is born and dad's not there.

1061
00:59:46.120 --> 00:59:48.240
That would be hard, right?

1062
00:59:48.240 --> 00:59:51.480
So did my mom make a lot of mistakes over the years?

1063
00:59:51.480 --> 00:59:52.320
Yes.

1064
00:59:52.320 --> 00:59:53.800
There were times that she was actually

1065
00:59:53.800 --> 00:59:56.200
really mean and manipulative.

1066
00:59:56.200 --> 00:59:58.000
But one of the things my aunt said to me

1067
00:59:58.000 --> 00:59:59.960
that also was very healing, she said,

1068
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.480
You were your mom's pride and joy.

1069
01:00:03.480 --> 01:00:04.960
I was like, what?

1070
01:00:04.960 --> 01:00:06.640
I was?

1071
01:00:06.640 --> 01:00:09.720
Because I didn't feel like that.

1072
01:00:09.720 --> 01:00:12.120
Now, I don't know when or if that, you know,

1073
01:00:12.120 --> 01:00:13.800
at what point did that change.

1074
01:00:13.800 --> 01:00:16.640
I'm not saying that my mom wasn't proud of me.

1075
01:00:16.640 --> 01:00:19.720
But I'm saying that her harsh words and her tone

1076
01:00:19.720 --> 01:00:23.560
and her glares over the years, they were hurtful.

1077
01:00:23.560 --> 01:00:26.280
But I want you all to understand, hurt people

1078
01:00:26.280 --> 01:00:26.880
hurt people.

1079
01:00:26.880 --> 01:00:28.240
My mom was broken.

1080
01:00:28.240 --> 01:00:29.560
Does that make it OK?

1081
01:00:29.560 --> 01:00:32.840
No, but can I stand today and have

1082
01:00:32.840 --> 01:00:34.920
absolute compassion for her?

1083
01:00:34.920 --> 01:00:37.760
Yes.

1084
01:00:37.760 --> 01:00:39.960
And that's where I want all of you to get.

1085
01:00:39.960 --> 01:00:41.840
And you'll get there a little bit at a time.

1086
01:00:41.840 --> 01:00:42.760
This is a process.

1087
01:00:42.760 --> 01:00:46.400
I've been in process regarding my parents a long time.

1088
01:00:46.400 --> 01:00:49.240
And I feel like every time God brings something up,

1089
01:00:49.240 --> 01:00:53.400
it gives me a whole new layer of compassion for both of them.

1090
01:00:53.400 --> 01:00:54.560
OK?

1091
01:00:54.560 --> 01:00:55.920
All right.

1092
01:00:55.920 --> 01:01:01.120
I'm going to now stand in the gap on behalf of your mothers.

1093
01:01:01.120 --> 01:01:02.560
That's what we're going to do next.

1094
01:01:02.560 --> 01:01:07.920
And what I mean by that is I'm going to, if you will let me.

1095
01:01:07.920 --> 01:01:09.680
Now, I know I'm not your mom.

1096
01:01:09.680 --> 01:01:11.360
That's not what I'm projecting to you.

1097
01:01:11.360 --> 01:01:13.720
But what I am saying is I believe

1098
01:01:13.720 --> 01:01:17.880
God wants to help you all forgive your moms in a way

1099
01:01:17.880 --> 01:01:20.200
that maybe you haven't in the past.

1100
01:01:20.200 --> 01:01:23.080
And the way that I feel like we can start to usher that in

1101
01:01:23.080 --> 01:01:25.600
is I'm going to stand in the gap on behalf of your mom.

1102
01:01:25.600 --> 01:01:28.840
Some of you, your moms have passed away, like my mom.

1103
01:01:28.840 --> 01:01:31.200
And they can't apologize to you anymore.

1104
01:01:31.200 --> 01:01:33.240
And so how do you heal that?

1105
01:01:33.240 --> 01:01:36.800
Well, someone can stand in the gap and say, I'm sorry.

1106
01:01:36.800 --> 01:01:38.600
And so that's what I'm going to do.

1107
01:01:38.600 --> 01:01:42.520
And I just want to encourage you, if you need to cry,

1108
01:01:42.520 --> 01:01:44.000
if you don't, it's fine.

1109
01:01:44.000 --> 01:01:46.800
But if you feel tears, please don't hold that stuff back.

1110
01:01:46.800 --> 01:01:49.360
If you are afraid to let people see you cry,

1111
01:01:49.360 --> 01:01:50.280
you can go off camera.

1112
01:01:50.280 --> 01:01:52.240
But I do want you to acknowledge, OK,

1113
01:01:52.240 --> 01:01:56.080
why do I feel like I need to hide if I cry?

1114
01:01:56.080 --> 01:01:58.880
I wasn't allowed as a kid to cry.

1115
01:01:58.880 --> 01:02:00.400
I don't know exactly what happened.

1116
01:02:00.400 --> 01:02:01.880
But I remember feeling like I always

1117
01:02:01.880 --> 01:02:03.840
had to go to the garage or behind our garage

1118
01:02:03.840 --> 01:02:05.800
if I ever needed to cry.

1119
01:02:05.800 --> 01:02:07.640
So it was very apparent to me growing up

1120
01:02:07.640 --> 01:02:11.800
that I wasn't allowed to express emotion.

1121
01:02:11.800 --> 01:02:14.640
I think I got told I was too sensitive.

1122
01:02:14.640 --> 01:02:16.000
You're too sensitive.

1123
01:02:16.000 --> 01:02:20.880
No, I was actually broken.

1124
01:02:20.880 --> 01:02:24.560
And so that's where some of you have been in your life as well.

1125
01:02:24.560 --> 01:02:26.640
And so I want to encourage you to learn how.

1126
01:02:26.640 --> 01:02:29.280
And sometimes it's hard for me even as a leader.

1127
01:02:29.280 --> 01:02:32.760
I hope you all don't feel bad for me when I feel emotion.

1128
01:02:32.760 --> 01:02:35.560
It's just that this stuff is raw and real for me too.

1129
01:02:35.560 --> 01:02:39.880
But it's good because then I can give it to you like real time.

1130
01:02:39.880 --> 01:02:42.640
And hopefully it helps you today.

1131
01:02:42.640 --> 01:02:44.440
And so we're going to do that first.

1132
01:02:44.440 --> 01:02:47.120
So I'm going to stand in the gap on behalf of your moms.

1133
01:02:47.200 --> 01:02:51.000
And again, if this more resonates regarding your dad,

1134
01:02:51.000 --> 01:02:53.840
I'm not a guy, so I can't stand on behalf of your dad.

1135
01:02:53.840 --> 01:02:56.080
But you can receive it in that same way.

1136
01:02:56.080 --> 01:02:59.040
Just receive it how you need to receive it, OK?

1137
01:02:59.040 --> 01:03:00.400
All right, so I'm going to pray.

1138
01:03:00.400 --> 01:03:02.280
If you want to keep your eyes open, you can.

1139
01:03:02.280 --> 01:03:04.000
I'm going to speak some things.

1140
01:03:04.000 --> 01:03:05.400
And we're just going to see what God wants to do.

1141
01:03:05.400 --> 01:03:07.440
And then we're going to kind of go on from there.

1142
01:03:11.240 --> 01:03:13.720
So I just want to say to all of you,

1143
01:03:13.720 --> 01:03:16.840
this is what God put on my heart to say is I apologize

1144
01:03:16.840 --> 01:03:19.520
on behalf of your moms for the harm

1145
01:03:19.520 --> 01:03:22.600
that they have done to you in any way,

1146
01:03:22.600 --> 01:03:25.760
including harsh words that were spoken over you,

1147
01:03:25.760 --> 01:03:28.280
ways that they belittled you, layers

1148
01:03:28.280 --> 01:03:31.800
with eyes that were made where you felt like they were never

1149
01:03:31.800 --> 01:03:35.280
happy with you, loss of connection over the years

1150
01:03:35.280 --> 01:03:37.040
when you ran to them and wanted a hug,

1151
01:03:37.040 --> 01:03:40.520
but they turned you away because they were too busy

1152
01:03:40.520 --> 01:03:44.440
or they were angry or they were upset about something,

1153
01:03:44.440 --> 01:03:48.120
when you made a mistake and it wasn't received as a mistake,

1154
01:03:48.120 --> 01:03:52.120
but it was more that you just couldn't get anything right

1155
01:03:52.120 --> 01:03:53.760
when you needed love and hugs.

1156
01:03:53.760 --> 01:03:56.600
And I was, as a mom, I was dealing

1157
01:03:56.600 --> 01:03:59.960
with my own wounds, my own insecurities, and my own fear.

1158
01:03:59.960 --> 01:04:06.040
And so I struggled to express love to you openly.

1159
01:04:06.040 --> 01:04:11.480
I'm sorry for how I wounded you and I caused you pain.

1160
01:04:11.480 --> 01:04:14.880
I'm sorry for the times that I basically

1161
01:04:14.880 --> 01:04:17.640
minimized your importance.

1162
01:04:20.240 --> 01:04:23.760
Will you forgive me?

1163
01:04:23.760 --> 01:04:25.520
Will you forgive me for the times

1164
01:04:25.520 --> 01:04:29.800
that I wasn't there for you, when

1165
01:04:29.800 --> 01:04:32.480
you had a play or some kind of sports event

1166
01:04:32.480 --> 01:04:35.280
and you were looking for me in the crowd and I wasn't there?

1167
01:04:35.640 --> 01:04:36.640
Yeah.

1168
01:04:40.640 --> 01:04:42.360
Will you forgive me for the times

1169
01:04:42.360 --> 01:04:47.240
that even now, as an adult, I've criticized you,

1170
01:04:47.240 --> 01:04:50.320
I've caused you to feel like you never measure up,

1171
01:04:50.320 --> 01:04:53.400
and that you are never going to figure this marriage thing out?

1172
01:04:53.400 --> 01:04:55.320
Will you forgive me for the times

1173
01:04:55.320 --> 01:04:57.520
that I wasn't there for you, when

1174
01:04:57.520 --> 01:05:00.080
you had a play or some kind of sports event

1175
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:01.840
Will you forgive me for the words

1176
01:05:00.080 --> 01:05:02.080
and you were looking for me in the crowd?

1177
01:05:01.840 --> 01:05:02.900
and the things that I've said

1178
01:05:02.080 --> 01:05:03.080
Yeah.

1179
01:05:02.900 --> 01:05:04.660
that have caused you to feel condemned,

1180
01:05:03.080 --> 01:05:04.800
Will you forgive me for the times

1181
01:05:04.660 --> 01:05:08.060
shameful, guilty in any way?

1182
01:05:04.800 --> 01:05:07.040
that I wasn't there for you, as an adult,

1183
01:05:07.040 --> 01:05:10.080
I've caused you to feel like you never measure up,

1184
01:05:08.060 --> 01:05:09.660
I love you.

1185
01:05:09.660 --> 01:05:10.980
God loves you.

1186
01:05:10.080 --> 01:05:14.080
and that you are never going to figure this marriage thing out?

1187
01:05:12.300 --> 01:05:14.660
And I want us to heal and move forward.

1188
01:05:18.940 --> 01:05:20.980
I just kind of went with it, Lori.

1189
01:05:21.860 --> 01:05:24.420
You might wanna go back and listen to the recording.

1190
01:05:25.900 --> 01:05:28.420
So as you all are kind of processing this,

1191
01:05:28.440 --> 01:05:30.560
and for some of you, maybe this isn't resonating at all,

1192
01:05:30.560 --> 01:05:32.060
and that's totally fine.

1193
01:05:33.120 --> 01:05:34.720
But for some of you, I think that it is,

1194
01:05:34.720 --> 01:05:36.920
and I just wanna give you a few, like a minute,

1195
01:05:36.920 --> 01:05:38.760
I'm gonna set kind of a timer.

1196
01:05:38.760 --> 01:05:42.000
I wanna give you a minute just to process.

1197
01:05:42.000 --> 01:05:45.320
Like what are some things that came up for you?

1198
01:05:45.320 --> 01:05:47.520
What are some things that you heard in your spirit

1199
01:05:47.520 --> 01:05:50.640
even as I was doing the apology?

1200
01:05:51.520 --> 01:05:53.240
Was there any kind of vision?

1201
01:05:53.240 --> 01:05:55.520
If you didn't already have it, you can ask God,

1202
01:05:55.540 --> 01:05:59.120
is there anything, God, you wanna show me now?

1203
01:05:59.120 --> 01:06:02.020
So I'm gonna just kind of be quiet for the next minute,

1204
01:06:02.020 --> 01:06:04.940
and I'm just gonna let you all process some of that stuff

1205
01:06:04.940 --> 01:06:07.980
and write things down, and we're gonna start now.

1206
01:06:55.520 --> 01:06:57.540
Thank you so much for helping us to heal.

1207
01:06:57.540 --> 01:07:00.900
God, thank you that you're coming into every area

1208
01:07:01.780 --> 01:07:03.620
of our hearts, our minds, our bodies,

1209
01:07:03.620 --> 01:07:05.100
our spirits, and our souls.

1210
01:07:06.260 --> 01:07:09.820
And you're releasing healing from heaven over us.

1211
01:07:09.820 --> 01:07:13.520
God, thank you for helping us to have courage,

1212
01:07:13.520 --> 01:07:15.260
to choose to forgive.

1213
01:07:16.140 --> 01:07:19.020
Lord, help us to have compassion,

1214
01:07:19.020 --> 01:07:22.620
to see the gold in other people, to see the gold in ourself.

1215
01:07:22.620 --> 01:07:26.840
God, I thank you that you'll help us to partner with you

1216
01:07:26.840 --> 01:07:28.560
and come out of alignment and agreement

1217
01:07:28.560 --> 01:07:30.680
with the lies that have been spoken over us

1218
01:07:31.740 --> 01:07:33.480
through people in authority over us.

1219
01:07:33.480 --> 01:07:37.340
We thank you, God, that you would continue to redeem

1220
01:07:37.340 --> 01:07:41.080
and reconcile relationships where we've been needing

1221
01:07:41.080 --> 01:07:43.120
and wanting connection and healing.

1222
01:07:43.120 --> 01:07:46.480
God, we thank you for supernaturally manifesting change

1223
01:07:46.480 --> 01:07:50.480
and transformation in hearts, attitudes, mindsets,

1224
01:07:50.540 --> 01:07:51.740
relationships.

1225
01:07:52.740 --> 01:07:55.100
Yes, Lord, shut the mouths of lions

1226
01:07:56.740 --> 01:08:00.060
where sometimes they rage against us through our parents,

1227
01:08:00.060 --> 01:08:01.140
through those in authority.

1228
01:08:01.140 --> 01:08:02.540
God, I thank you that you would help us

1229
01:08:02.540 --> 01:08:04.820
to hear your voice louder than any other voice

1230
01:08:04.820 --> 01:08:07.860
and that we would hear it as a voice of love

1231
01:08:07.860 --> 01:08:09.860
and not judgment.

1232
01:08:09.860 --> 01:08:13.300
God, correction is you loving us.

1233
01:08:14.180 --> 01:08:17.260
But God, we thank you that you're removing filters

1234
01:08:17.260 --> 01:08:20.680
and these lenses and these things that we hear

1235
01:08:20.680 --> 01:08:22.760
and see life through that don't cause us

1236
01:08:22.760 --> 01:08:24.399
to see you correctly.

1237
01:08:24.399 --> 01:08:26.319
We thank you for helping us to step further

1238
01:08:26.319 --> 01:08:28.200
into freedom today.

1239
01:08:28.200 --> 01:08:31.560
We thank you for helping us to unpack the heart boxes,

1240
01:08:31.560 --> 01:08:33.520
the things that are coming up even today,

1241
01:08:33.520 --> 01:08:37.399
that as we, yes, Lord, we thank you for Sab,

1242
01:08:37.399 --> 01:08:39.840
just an anointing of Sab from heaven.

1243
01:08:39.840 --> 01:08:44.100
God is coming and he's placing it upon your hearts, ladies.

1244
01:08:45.080 --> 01:08:46.960
And Sabs back in the day,

1245
01:08:46.960 --> 01:08:48.720
they were used kind of very medicinal.

1246
01:08:48.720 --> 01:08:51.180
They had properties in them that could bring

1247
01:08:51.180 --> 01:08:54.040
really, really strong healing.

1248
01:08:54.040 --> 01:08:56.120
And so I just feel like God is wanting you to know,

1249
01:08:56.120 --> 01:08:58.439
like the balm of Gilead is talked about in the Bible.

1250
01:08:58.439 --> 01:09:00.319
If you wanna actually have a scripture,

1251
01:09:00.319 --> 01:09:01.720
you can look that up.

1252
01:09:01.720 --> 01:09:06.520
But that was used for a purpose for like medicinal healing.

1253
01:09:06.520 --> 01:09:10.060
And so God comes in and he wants to place

1254
01:09:10.060 --> 01:09:12.560
that balm of Gilead upon every part of our heart,

1255
01:09:12.560 --> 01:09:15.300
our mind, our body, our spirit, and our soul.

1256
01:09:15.300 --> 01:09:16.880
He wants us to be whole.

1257
01:09:17.939 --> 01:09:20.140
And so I pray a lot and I thank God

1258
01:09:20.140 --> 01:09:23.359
for making me completely whole, lacking no good thing.

1259
01:09:23.359 --> 01:09:26.100
So I wanna encourage you to partner with that

1260
01:09:26.100 --> 01:09:27.620
in the days to come.

1261
01:09:27.620 --> 01:09:30.580
I also felt led to, for all, let me see,

1262
01:09:30.580 --> 01:09:33.540
raise hand, who are my moms in this room today?

1263
01:09:33.540 --> 01:09:35.140
Who are moms?

1264
01:09:35.140 --> 01:09:36.020
All right, let's see.

1265
01:09:36.020 --> 01:09:41.020
I see Kim, I see Lori, Jenny, anyone else a mom?

1266
01:09:43.399 --> 01:09:44.859
Got a couple, okay.

1267
01:09:44.859 --> 01:09:47.060
So here's what I felt led to do as well.

1268
01:09:47.060 --> 01:09:49.979
Moms in our current program that have maybe,

1269
01:09:49.979 --> 01:09:52.140
maybe you guys have close relationships with your kids

1270
01:09:52.140 --> 01:09:53.899
and that's awesome if you do.

1271
01:09:53.899 --> 01:09:55.700
But for those that might, if you're not,

1272
01:09:55.700 --> 01:09:58.180
if you don't have broken relationships with your kids,

1273
01:09:58.180 --> 01:09:59.740
maybe people that are watching the replay,

1274
01:09:59.740 --> 01:10:00.580
I do want.

1275
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.720
I include this in here for the moms here, if you've ever

1276
01:10:03.720 --> 01:10:06.680
struggled with treating your kids in any of the ways that we

1277
01:10:06.680 --> 01:10:11.120
prayed through today, regarding the ways maybe mom has, or dad

1278
01:10:11.120 --> 01:10:14.640
or someone in authority has mistreated you. If that's

1279
01:10:14.640 --> 01:10:17.440
something that you struggle with that God wants you to choose to

1280
01:10:17.440 --> 01:10:22.360
forgive yourself today. To forgive yourself for the times

1281
01:10:22.360 --> 01:10:26.080
that you might have spoken harshly or quick, or maybe been

1282
01:10:26.080 --> 01:10:30.880
really overwhelmed with life or whatever is going on, and maybe

1283
01:10:30.880 --> 01:10:34.600
your kid was wanting love and affection and connection, and

1284
01:10:34.600 --> 01:10:37.600
you rush them on or just put them in front of the TV or

1285
01:10:37.600 --> 01:10:41.520
whatever the dynamic is that you would forgive yourself. I want

1286
01:10:41.520 --> 01:10:44.960
to like activate all of you. Even if you're not a mom, let's

1287
01:10:44.960 --> 01:10:48.320
just kind of be activated in, let's come out of agreement and

1288
01:10:48.320 --> 01:10:51.440
alignment with these things that are more not a part of the

1289
01:10:51.440 --> 01:10:54.960
divine feminine. What areas, ladies, do we need to become

1290
01:10:54.960 --> 01:10:58.080
more soft to lean in and partner with the divine

1291
01:10:58.080 --> 01:11:02.400
feminine, the nurturing aspect, the affection? Is there anyone

1292
01:11:02.400 --> 01:11:06.080
in your life right now, you can put this in the chat, that you

1293
01:11:06.080 --> 01:11:09.560
struggle to connect with them in that kind of nurturing, loving

1294
01:11:09.560 --> 01:11:17.920
way? Yeah, Lori. Lori, what I would do is go back and kind of

1295
01:11:17.920 --> 01:11:20.880
listen to that replay. Unfortunately, just write it

1296
01:11:20.880 --> 01:11:24.120
down. I wrote some on my paper, but then I closed my eyes and

1297
01:11:24.120 --> 01:11:28.080
kind of kept going. And so I don't have the full thing. So

1298
01:11:28.080 --> 01:11:30.800
that's why I would say go back and do it that way. And

1299
01:11:31.040 --> 01:11:34.200
sometimes you can have those recorders where you record and

1300
01:11:34.200 --> 01:11:37.000
it'll dictate it for you. So that might even be quicker for

1301
01:11:37.000 --> 01:11:41.160
you. But yeah, anyone else, anyone else feel like you have

1302
01:11:41.160 --> 01:11:44.480
anyone in your life where, you know, you just shut off that

1303
01:11:44.480 --> 01:11:48.520
nurturing, soft, affectionate parts of yourself with them?

1304
01:11:48.640 --> 01:11:55.520
Let's see those in the chat. Hey, Arianna, I see you there

1305
01:11:55.520 --> 01:11:58.760
too, being critical, struggling with that. And a lot of times,

1306
01:11:58.760 --> 01:12:01.560
ladies, if we're critical with other people, it often starts

1307
01:12:01.560 --> 01:12:03.640
with us being critical of ourselves. Did you all know

1308
01:12:03.640 --> 01:12:07.800
that? Hatred and self like criticism of others starts

1309
01:12:07.840 --> 01:12:11.240
internally, self hatred, self loathing, being critical of

1310
01:12:11.240 --> 01:12:14.440
ourselves. So there's most likely revealing for healing

1311
01:12:14.440 --> 01:12:18.240
that needs to happen there as well. All right. Now I'm going

1312
01:12:18.240 --> 01:12:21.440
to read another thing over you all. Okay, this isn't an

1313
01:12:21.440 --> 01:12:27.400
apology. But this is just more of a prayer. Okay. And this is

1314
01:12:27.400 --> 01:12:34.880
more like, from you to mom. Okay. So as you kind of consider

1315
01:12:34.880 --> 01:12:38.880
and listen to this, I just want you to consider like, and you

1316
01:12:38.880 --> 01:12:41.720
may not feel all these things today, but I believe it's going

1317
01:12:41.720 --> 01:12:44.640
to help you kind of take a step towards them a little bit more

1318
01:12:44.640 --> 01:12:50.120
today. Mom, I needed your comfort and expressed love so

1319
01:12:50.120 --> 01:12:55.840
much. I didn't realize just how much I needed it until now. But

1320
01:12:55.840 --> 01:12:59.360
mom, because of your own emotional crisis, you weren't

1321
01:12:59.400 --> 01:13:03.520
always able to express to me the love that I needed. There were

1322
01:13:03.520 --> 01:13:07.520
times when I needed to hear tender tones in your voice. But

1323
01:13:07.520 --> 01:13:11.720
instead, your words pierced my heart. There were times I needed

1324
01:13:11.720 --> 01:13:15.080
to see in your eyes that you love me even when I failed in

1325
01:13:15.080 --> 01:13:17.880
your eyes. There were times I needed to be drawn to the

1326
01:13:17.880 --> 01:13:22.920
comfort of your bosom and be held but you weren't there. Mom,

1327
01:13:22.920 --> 01:13:26.440
I forgive you for all of these times because you did not know

1328
01:13:26.440 --> 01:13:29.840
what you were doing. You were too hurt and wounded in your

1329
01:13:29.840 --> 01:13:33.880
youth. I forgive you for not knowing how to express love to

1330
01:13:33.880 --> 01:13:37.720
me and the way that I needed it. I forgive you for not knowing

1331
01:13:37.720 --> 01:13:40.720
how to take me in your arms and provide that place of safety

1332
01:13:40.720 --> 01:13:44.920
and comfort. I forgive you for your inability to open your

1333
01:13:44.920 --> 01:13:47.560
heart to me in a way that would cause me to believe and trust

1334
01:13:47.560 --> 01:13:51.480
fully in your love. I forgive you for your inability to

1335
01:13:51.480 --> 01:13:56.400
provide me with the affectionate touch, the loving eye contact

1336
01:13:56.440 --> 01:14:01.440
and the nurture in your bosom that I so needed. I release you

1337
01:14:01.440 --> 01:14:04.520
from any resentment or bitterness. I honor you as my

1338
01:14:04.520 --> 01:14:08.120
mother, the woman who gave me life and brought me into this

1339
01:14:08.120 --> 01:14:13.240
world. Thank you for this gift of life. I commit myself to walk

1340
01:14:13.240 --> 01:14:16.880
in an attitude of love and forgiveness towards you from

1341
01:14:16.880 --> 01:14:23.120
this day forward. Now I'm going to read one to God because we're

1342
01:14:23.120 --> 01:14:26.720
not just reconnecting with moms today, we're reconnecting with

1343
01:14:26.720 --> 01:14:31.800
God today. Father God, I come to you longing to experience your

1344
01:14:31.800 --> 01:14:36.120
comforting mothering heart. You are the only one who can meet

1345
01:14:36.120 --> 01:14:41.800
the deepest need for storage love in my life. I bring my

1346
01:14:41.800 --> 01:14:45.200
earthly mother to the foot of the cross and release her from

1347
01:14:45.200 --> 01:14:49.040
any wounds and pain she has caused in my life. Please

1348
01:14:49.040 --> 01:14:52.640
forgive me for any resentment or bitterness I may have harbored

1349
01:14:52.640 --> 01:14:56.240
towards her and help me to walk in forgiveness and love towards

1350
01:14:56.240 --> 01:15:00.080
my earthly parents. I confess that I've turned to counterfeit

1351
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.920
affections rather than to you to seek the storage love that I needed to fill the void in my heart.

1352
01:15:06.480 --> 01:15:11.160
Some of the choices that I have made have been wrong and I repent from any impure thoughts,

1353
01:15:11.840 --> 01:15:15.680
fantasies, or lusts that I have allowed to breed in my mind and my emotions.

1354
01:15:16.080 --> 01:15:20.840
Forgive me for not trusting you to meet all of my needs. I come to you now,

1355
01:15:21.480 --> 01:15:27.560
lay my head on your breast, and rest peacefully knowing that you, God, love and care for me. In

1356
01:15:28.280 --> 01:15:29.960
Jesus name,

1357
01:15:29.960 --> 01:15:31.960
amen and amen.

1358
01:15:32.040 --> 01:15:33.560
Y'all, I know this was a lot,

1359
01:15:33.560 --> 01:15:37.000
this was a heavy one today, but in a good way, in a good way.

1360
01:15:37.000 --> 01:15:43.280
And so what I'm going to encourage you to do, we always do activations, okay? Every single week we do activations.

1361
01:15:44.200 --> 01:15:48.960
And so what I would like to see in the group this week is a post regarding

1362
01:15:49.640 --> 01:15:55.840
your mom, mom or dad, or authority figure, whoever that fit for you today, that you are forgiving,

1363
01:15:56.800 --> 01:15:58.800
that you are forgiving. And

1364
01:16:00.240 --> 01:16:05.840
if there was something like a memory that came up for you today that you're processing, you can include that in there as well.

1365
01:16:06.720 --> 01:16:08.880
And we're going to really lean into

1366
01:16:09.680 --> 01:16:13.520
all of that with you as a community, that God's going to continue to help you heal

1367
01:16:14.160 --> 01:16:20.160
and thrive fully alive in 2025. It's going to be an incredible year, ladies.

1368
01:16:20.640 --> 01:16:24.480
And it's so important for us as we keep moving forward to

1369
01:16:25.360 --> 01:16:30.240
make sure that we don't have these pockets of bitterness and resentment that are hiding in there, right?

1370
01:16:30.720 --> 01:16:31.840
And so

1371
01:16:31.840 --> 01:16:34.880
thank you for your courage today as you kind of let me do this a little different.

1372
01:16:34.880 --> 01:16:40.960
We normally do another breakout session, but I really just felt led to keep you all here to do those prayers over you.

1373
01:16:41.920 --> 01:16:46.820
If you need to go back and listen to those prayers again, the replay will be up in the group tomorrow.

1374
01:16:47.200 --> 01:16:49.200
So that'll be there for you.

1375
01:16:49.200 --> 01:16:52.640
So again, what you're going to do in the group, the activation is,

1376
01:16:53.600 --> 01:16:58.640
you know, what are you going to do to forgive mom, dad, or an authority figure? And like, what are you forgiving them for?

1377
01:16:59.840 --> 01:17:05.040
Okay, that's the activation for this week. So I want to encourage you all to put those in the phase one

1378
01:17:05.680 --> 01:17:08.640
in the app group. You just create a post and put that in there.

1379
01:17:08.880 --> 01:17:13.840
And if you have a picture that of something that represents that for you and you want to include that with your post,

1380
01:17:13.840 --> 01:17:17.280
you can. If you just want to do text, that's totally fine as well.

1381
01:17:17.680 --> 01:17:22.400
So a picture could be like just something that you see that makes you think about what you need to forgive.

1382
01:17:22.720 --> 01:17:26.880
Or it could be something that you, if you're an artist and you like to sketch or draw, you can do that.

1383
01:17:27.200 --> 01:17:30.160
If you don't want to do any of that and you just want to do text, that's totally fine.

1384
01:17:30.240 --> 01:17:34.080
The point is to activate and take quick action on it. Okay?

1385
01:17:34.960 --> 01:17:40.080
All right, ladies, we love you. We look forward to seeing you in the group. It sounds like

1386
01:17:40.720 --> 01:17:42.720
Jackie might be live tonight.

1387
01:17:43.200 --> 01:17:47.600
If something comes up, I'll be there. But one of us will be there tonight at 8 p.m.

1388
01:17:47.680 --> 01:17:49.680
Don't feel like you have to join.

1389
01:17:49.840 --> 01:17:56.080
But that will be recorded as well and in the replay tomorrow also. Have a great day, everyone. Bye.

1390
01:17:56.640 --> 01:17:58.320
Thank you.

1391
01:17:58.320 --> 01:18:00.320
Thank you.