Today, we're going to look at perfecting the art of showing up and we're going to talk
about a couple of neuroscience secrets to really build transformative habits by simply
changing your identity.
Let's talk about that for a second.
You know, the big idea here is the most important power habits you're going to create are the
ones that start from a new identity and then consistently show up in that identity.
You know, the way I learned this is when I was writing my book Wired, you know, because
I'd done a lot of academic writing, having done several degrees and so on, I saw myself
as a thinker and an academic and so all my writing was geared really subconsciously for
professors and for academics.
And so I needed to change my identity.
And by making this simple little shift, firstly I identified what my old identity was and
then I changed it to, I replaced it with, I am a writer for everyone.
So if I'm going to be a writer for everyone, this immediately gave my brain permission
to be creative on how to do that.
There was almost an automatic response.
So I set up my deep work session every Thursday morning to write and edit the chapter even
in a four-hour period.
So I thought about, if I'm a writer for everyone, it needs to be conversational, right?
So that means I used a headset and I dictated the book to make it a lot more conversational.
And I imagined myself talking to a group of ordinary people, not a group of academics.
This really changed.
In fact, the number one feedback I get about the book is how very conversational it is.
So changing identity automatically changed behavior.
If you want to learn more about habits and the power of habits and so on, there are a
couple of resources you may want to look at.
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg or Atomic Habits by James Clear.
These are two really great books and have been very helpful to our community.
But most of what we're going to be going through here today comes from being a practitioner,
being somebody who helps other people develop leaders.
If we're going to become a team of leaders, then we have to learn these type of leadership
habits.
One of the things is to gain mastery over developing the kind of habits that serve us.
We don't serve our habits, they serve us.
There's a lot to be said about habits, so the main thing we're going to focus on today
is this idea of changing your identity or give your brain permission to serve you in
that identity.
Secret number one, changing your identity or give your brain permission to serve you
in that way.
So that's secret number one.
Now the reason why most of us struggle with creating new habits, I'm sure you're listening
to this and going, oh not another habits training, I've tried building new habits, I've never
been successful at it, or you know, one out of ten maybe.
But here's three reasons why most people struggle.
And the first thing is they try to do too much.
Obviously New Year's resolution, I'm going to go to the gym for an hour, three or four
times a week, and they just try to do way too much.
But more importantly, they're focused on their behavior, not their identity.
As I've said before, identity leads automatically to correct behavior, behavior doesn't automatically
change your identity.
It does over a very long period of time, but that is definitely the long way around.
And we also try to change the wrong things in the wrong way.
So as we go through this, you know, you may be listening to this and say, okay, so all
I have to do is change my identity?
Yes.
Helps to write it down by the way, and be really clear.
And the reason you can do this, which is secret number two, is you can do this because changing
your identity is the smallest change you can make, and then you build slowly from there.
Remember, people try to do too much or try to do it too quickly.
If you give yourself permission to build slowly from that new identity and hold on to that
identity, over time, it will become a reality.
The way I learned this was, you know, I developed a story about myself because I was, you know,
as a young man and in college and high school and so on, I love sport, I played volleyball,
I played squash four or five times a week.
I really loved going for runs, I loved exercise, I loved sport, but then I had to do two years
military service, and that first year was as an officer training, and it was brutal.
The officer training was well beyond, you know, the military are very good at taking
you to your limit, and then you think you've hit your limit, and then they show you that's
just the 10% mark, and they take you so much further.
It's a very brutalizing process for me.
many of us and I just learned to hate training so I became in my head the
officer that hates training and I could never get myself back into exercise but
then I realized once I identified this is the incorrect identity that's not me
I developed a new identity a cyclist who loves riding so well if I'm a cyclist
what do cyclists do they ride so I set up to ride three times a week on my
stationary bike in a room that I have in my room and I would just went there
for ten minutes I have to be in the room for ten minutes now some of you
might that might be even too much of a step maybe you just have to show up in
that room for five minutes every day or three times a week and get into the
habit of you know being there or just sitting on the bike and you know
spending two three minutes on it the smallest way you can start is the best
way because it's easy to conquer in fact choose the starting point to be so small
that it feels like a no-brainer to you can I sit on the bike for three minutes
sure I can in my case it was ten minutes right now I didn't start increasing it
every week or any of that I knew I had to keep that mode for 30 days so for a
full month I just did ten minutes or three minutes whatever you choose so my
identity next thing was what was the smallest step I could take the first
baby step as we've learned in our previous training so by changing my
story I was able to start to change my behavior and that's how habits really
work they grow more than they just sit in motion and then we try to make them a
reality now let me share with you secret number three you will easily make time
for what you delight in you know we've talked before that delight leads to
discipline and when you do this you know you can reframe this activities
not only am I a cyclist but I'm a cyclist that loves riding say what you
love questionnaires can it be fun what if it's not hard what if it's you know
thoroughly enjoyable and so I choose the word delight because not that commonly
used word but I wanted delighting in something is something that you're
reframing for your brain so let me share with you three power hacks that really
help you let me summarize all this number one pick your new identity number
two find the smallest thing you can do and make it fun and number three find a
trigger you know my wife and I we have tea every morning when she goes off to
get ready for her day she goes take a shower and so on that's when I use that
as a trigger to go to my cycle my bike and I because that's what cyclists do
you know we ride so that's what I do now you may have other things so let me give
you quickly applying those three power hacks to a few examples example number
one will continue with the subject of exercise for a minute and so in my case
number maybe your ideas you want to be a runner so you don't want to be somebody
who runs you want to be a runner so well I don't run at the moment yes but it
starts with identity so I'm a runner what do runners do they run what would
be the first baby step well I walk to the end of the road I run to the end of
the road and I come back every day it takes me two minutes there and back and
I do it every single weekday okay well that's a baby step you can do and I'm
gonna do that for a month just run to the end of the road and back you said
that's so small exactly it's got to feel like a no-brainer what's the
trigger the trigger is when I turn off my computer at the end of the day I put
on my shoes now later on you can add some of the power tools we learned
before start the five-second rule right I don't want to put on as the computer
goes down I go five four three two one on with the shoes and go and then as you
get going with this we can use things like microburst just that ten minute
microburst energy but that's an advanced thing right now we just want
the trigger this let's go to writing maybe you want to develop the habit of
being a writer well you have to take the identity I'm a writer well what do
writers do they write what's the smallest thing I can do is write one
line per day and I want to write one line per day in my journal what's the
trigger when I make my coffee after dinner I will pick up my journal five
four three two one right so that puts it all together for you and we've just
shared an incredible way to build power habits that really do change start by
changing your identity and that gives your brain permission for you to be
creative and to help you be creative and to lead to a completely different life
with a new habit again start small because small is a way for you to
force the identity, you're not reinforcing your behavior.
You're not reinforcing the fact that I ran for 30 minutes,
but then I ran for two minutes up and down the road,
in my own road, you're reinforcing your identity
more than you're reinforcing your behavior.
That's really, really important.
And that's why starting small is such a secret.
Change your identity, start small, learn to delight in it.
I hope you have fun building amazing habits.
Thanks for listening.