Okay, awesome. Yes, more people are jumping on. I love it. As you jump on, please make
sure that you've got your cameras on. Welcome. This is phase two, February 11th, 2025. This
is our live Tuesday check in at one o'clock Eastern. My name is Carla Johnson. So those
of you that do not know me, I'm going to be one of your coaches here in phase two. And
so I came into the program at the very, very beginning. So I'm, I'm what we call one of
the OGs. All right. So I joined when Jackie did a full big launch of her program in 2020
that started in October. She started a soft launch in March, and then we had this big
launch that came in and that's when I entered and got into the program. And it took me a
couple years. And eventually, in God's perfect timing, and my obedience, and me practicing
and preparing and working this program well, and just following the prompting of Holy Spirit.
I did get introduced to my husband, late 2022. It's very supernatural. And we just recently
got married in September of 2023. So we are a full year into marriage. So and that is
thanks to this program. It's also why I just have such a heart doing this job and being
here with you ladies and coaching you ladies, because this program did so much for me. And
it is just an honor and a privilege to be able to give that back to all of you. And
oftentimes, when I'm sitting here coaching, it actually helps me even in my marriage still. So
it's just such a beautiful way of how it just full circle. And so it just like I said, it's
always such a privilege to be here with you ladies. So thank you for being here. All right.
I can't do what I do if you don't show up. So I really do appreciate you. So just by a show of
hands, I see we've got two, four, six, eight, nine of us on right now. How many of you are
brand new to phase two? Most of you before so I don't know if we have anybody that's new. Okay,
Stephanie, thank you. You'll be on camera shortly. Perfect. Awesome. Okay, so I don't have any newbies
yet. Okay, well, I do know some more ladies do jump on. So maybe we'll get a newbie here soon.
All right. So right now we've got nine of you. That's good. All right. So just a couple
housekeeping things. I'm going to try to keep this as brief as possible. Okay,
totally understand Melissa. Thank you for letting me know. Just a couple housekeeping things. See,
we're getting more people on. I love it. I'm gonna try to keep this brief and within like
the five minutes here. Again, remember to turn your camera on if you can. We just want you to
practice coming out of hiding. Just reminder to all of you ladies, I know we might have a few new
ones that just jumped on. But continue to stay engaged in this community and this group. Okay,
and that's going to be with post. That's going to be you all posting your videos under two minutes
or less. Okay, so I'm constantly going to give you prompts of things to come on camera. So live
two minutes, excuse me. And let us get to know you a little bit, you know, share what you're
experiencing, what's what's going on. Coming to these lives. If you can't come into one week,
if you can't come, make sure that you're watching it and replays, especially Supernatural Saturday.
I say this because we see the most breakthrough from those who are actively and consistently and
intentionally engaging in this community. And I speak it from my own experience in this community.
All right, I wouldn't have gotten all the breakthroughs I did if I didn't stretch myself
and push myself to connect with women in the community, and just show up and to communicate
all the things that I was experiencing, what was happening on my date, what was happening when I
wasn't on any date, I was showing up and sharing that in the community with my sisters, and my
coaches. Okay. So just remember, though, when you are creating post, try not to post anything that's
promoting or linking any other speakers, influencers, pastors, ministries, coaches, we just
don't have the capacity to vet their library of all of the things that they teach. And we always
want to make sure that we're coming into alignment.
with what we teach her at last year single.
Last thing we want to do is confuse,
because the enemy will like to do that.
It helps us keep the confusion and
the noise out when we can't vet what those things are.
If you ladies are responding to other women in the community,
which we actually encourage you-all to do,
we want you responding to each other,
we want you encouraging each other and
celebrating and lifting each other up.
What we are going to ask is that
you refrain from coaching and giving advice.
This is a phase where you're here to receive the coaching.
Don't feel like you have to put your coaching,
your therapist hat on,
your mom hat on for the women in the community.
Leave that to us coaches,
myself, Bethany, Ebony.
Sometimes Jackie might pop in as well.
Leave that to us.
You just focus on showing up for yourself,
letting us know what's going on,
and being an encourager for the other women in this community.
But refrain from the advice giving.
Be sure to also check back on your post
to see what we've replied or responded to you.
A lot of times, I know myself and Ebony,
we will typically prompt you with more questions.
That's just to get you-all in
that process of thinking through some of this stuff.
Go back, follow up.
If we've responded to you,
we've asked you questions, reply back to us.
Then we're doing the same,
we're trying to go back to see if you've responded to us,
because we may have more questions or it may give us
a little bit more information and we can
give you a little bit more direction.
Again, if you are dating,
because again, this phase,
we understand that some of you ladies aren't going
to go full force into dating right away,
and that's totally fine.
We do want you to understand that there is
still so much value coming to
these lives and still getting the information in.
Even if you're not practicing dating right this moment,
you will eventually.
A lot of the things that we teach,
there are still things that we can do and
practice even if we are not on live dates just yet.
But if you are dating,
please make sure that you are constantly
coming and sharing us those details.
This is going to help us coach you to where we can help you
see what's a yellow flag, what's a red flag.
What you might think is a yellow flag
might actually be a green flag.
It helps us see what's actually happening.
We can sometimes gauge where you
might be stuck in a pattern or you might have a blind spot.
But we can't help you if we don't know all of that information.
We also coach you ladies about this.
It's a yes until it's a no.
Some of you don't even get onto
an actual real-life date and you're already like,
this guy's a no.
Sometimes, yeah, those guys are nos,
but sometimes they're not.
Sometimes those are areas where you all might have some heart block.
There might be some things that you're
not holding on and not surrendering the pen to.
If you come and you share with us why you're saying no,
and if we start seeing patterns,
then we can help coach you in that area as well.
Remember, there is no shame and no condemnation here.
That's not what we're about.
We are all on a journey and all in a process.
I can attest and testify myself, ladies,
I did it wrong often when I was in this group and dating.
There's probably nothing that you all can do that's going to
shock me because I probably already did it.
Again, it's really about true vulnerability and connecting in community,
which I'm learning is so important in all stages of our lives.
Lean on this community, come be vulnerable,
share with us what you're experiencing,
and we are right here with you to walk alongside you.
Give me a thumbs up. We're all good?
I see a few more people jumped in.
Try to turn your cameras on if you can.
I know I got a few more people.
If you are new to phase 2,
put your avatar hand up.
I just want to see if I've got a few newbies.
I don't think I do.
Hey, Carla.
Yes, Stephanie.
I'm not new to phase 2,
but I haven't ever been able to attend a live call before.
Just with my schedule and stuff,
so I'm new.
This is the first call I've been able.
To attend, but I watched the videos made it on until good. Yes, I love that. Yes, ladies. Again, we understand that sometimes schedules can get a little wonky. Okay, but
Yes, Matt said I'm new to your class today because I have a snow day from work. So my first time joining you. I usually hit ebony up on Tuesday night.
Yes, yes. And that's when I told her to and and she's also a school teacher, so she can't always come to my one o'clock so she can watch the replays, because that's the one that we post, but I even told her tonight. Like, I'm going to try to jump in because it's like I want to see. I want to see everybody
I usually have a lot of stuff happening with my kids after school. But for, you know, this season, my kid does not have baseball practice on Tuesday nights where he did before. So it's freed me up a little bit. But I did tell her I will, you know, every now and then I will try to pop in. But I'm so glad when you ladies can make it to my one o'clock and the eight o'clock go to both.
Honestly, like, me and ebony are two different people. We've had two different experiences. And so we both have been in this program for for a while. And so we we can she and I really do compliment each other. And so a lot of times you're going to get some different perspective from her that maybe I didn't experience and vice versa. And it's just we kind of joke that we're just this dynamic duo like we're this just great tag team, you know,
of just a big ball of fun. So I always encourage you ladies, if you can, if you can make it to both do it. Okay. All right. So let's get moving here. I'm just going to do a quick prayer. I sometimes get so worked up and going and we got so much to cover that sometimes I this, but I do want to do a quick prayer because I do think always really important to invite Holy Spirit. So Heavenly Father, thank you.
Thank you so much for this time together today, Lord. And I just ask that you, you know, come into this space with us, Lord. Lord, I'm asking that you soften our hearts to what it is that you want us to grow in and the lean more in.
And, you know, as we, you know, discuss further this divine feminine that you created for all of us to be to step into that we just receive your promise, your word, and that we can fully step into the promise that you have for us.
And I just thank you again for this time together and bless our session today in your son's name. Amen.
All right. Okay. So, ladies, great job this week on posting your videos. It's always so good to watch those and get to know you a little better. I think I only saw one video, though, in regards to you ladies being activated and getting comfortable around men.
So I know before one o'clock, Mackenzie just shared a brief little, you know, 30 seconds of how she stepped into doing that. So if someone wants to unmute besides Mackenzie, because she's already shared, if how they stepped into that and got a little comfortable around men this week, then please go ahead and unmute.
And I'm going to give you guys 30 seconds to do that.
Anybody.
Wait, sorry, what was I wasn't here last week, what was the video supposed to be just presenting the video and so and then I even posted a video and I'm going to try to get better at this as well is I'm going to even post a video to remind you ladies what that activation is.
So I even posted a video last week and it's pinned to the top of the all tab that we want you ladies getting comfortable around men. And so practicing that this week or last week, and then coming into our community and sharing a quick under two minute video of what your experience was like.
I don't think it was this Stephanie that's on Stephanie Griffith, but it was another Stephanie or Stacy, I can't remember. She shared about how that how that happened for her this week.
And so that was really good. And ladies, be be ready to, you know, when women are posting these videos, ladies, watch them. This is your time to be, you know, getting to know the women in this community as well.
So I've seen a few people like commenting on people's videos, especially the ones that people are doing little introductions about themselves and things that they enjoy doing. And so I'm seeing some interaction there. And that's always really good.
Now actually, speaking of which,
I haven't done this in a while.
I started doing this a couple months ago,
is that I gave you ladies just a few minutes to
throw up your contact information in the chat.
Put your name, where you're from,
either your phone number or email.
You don't have to put your name because
your name is already on there,
but your contact information.
Where you're from, what's your email or phone number is,
and then I want you ladies finding someone in the chat
that stands out to you,
and I want you to make contact with them this week.
Start connecting with the ladies here in community.
Start building friendships here.
I can't tell you how many friends I have from this community.
So many of the women were invited to my wedding,
came to my wedding, were in my wedding,
were part of my bridal party.
I'm still in contact with a lot of them.
Some of them are married.
Some of them are still single.
Some of them are in marriage-minded relationships,
and I'm still staying in contact,
and I'm talking about not just women that live close to me,
but women that don't.
I mean, I've got one friend that's in Wisconsin,
and I actually had to fly up to Green Bay this summer
to pick up my youngest son
because he was visiting his dad in Michigan,
in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan,
and so we stopped in Green Bay.
That was where the airport that he flew in and flew out of,
and when I was there,
she lived 15 minutes away from the airport,
and so I had like a four or five layover
before our flight went out
to take my son back home to Texas,
and she picked me and my son up.
My son's dad ended up dropping him off early.
I was like, look, he doesn't have to be here till later.
He dropped him off as soon as I arrived at the airport.
We had like four or five hours to kill,
and my friend, she's like, I live 15 minutes away.
Why don't you come over and hang out?
And we did.
My son got to meet her older son who's a high schooler
but also plays baseball,
so they connected because they talked about baseball,
and it was just really cool,
and my son grew up.
He was five when I joined this community,
and he was on these calls,
so what we're doing right here,
we used to have Jackie as our coach.
He was in.
He would come in, and he waved to all the ladies,
and a lot of the women, they ask about my son,
like, oh, how is he?
They're connected to him,
so this is family.
This is community,
and community is so important.
You ladies are gonna want to be connected
with people that are in the same season that you're in
and helping you walk through this process.
I just coached a lady yesterday one-on-one,
and she was struggling with that,
and I was like, look,
I want you to go find one or two women
that you can connect with
because her community that she's in
is not the right people to be talking to
about the dating and the way that we teach you ladies to date.
She's like, a lot of my friends aren't really believers,
and I'm like, well, then you need to get hold
of some friends in this community,
and you need to start sharing your experiences
with dating with them,
and start aligning yourself with ladies
that understand this process.
So it's so, so important.
So yeah, so Stephanie,
ooh, wow, things just jumped up everywhere.
I'm going here in the chat.
So yeah, Stephanie told her last two single friends
about last year single,
and they joined and are talking.
That's amazing.
And ladies, I don't know if you know this,
but we have an affiliate link.
So if you go under the resource tab in our community page,
you can set up an affiliate link.
So when you share this with people
and they join the program through your affiliate link,
you get, I think it's like 75 bucks.
I watched all of that and couldn't figure it out,
and I told my two single guy friends,
and they, I think, are just refusing to join.
Both my other friends at first were like,
we don't need that.
And I was like, no, you actually do.
And it's-
Yeah, and it is, you know, you can just drop,
again, it's, drop a seed.
And some people might be like,
yeah, I don't know if I need that, all right?
I know, but they do.
It's so good.
And so they, anyway, they did join and they love it,
but yeah, I messed up the affiliate thing,
but yeah, it's pretty great.
It's okay though, it's okay.
Yeah, yeah, well, again, take time,
still look through it.
I will look through it as well.
I know I set up an affiliate link.
as well so i'll go back and see if there's maybe a glitch or something um but it should be
are you if you're doing it on your phone it might be more challenging i i think i had to do mine on
my computer so that i would suggest that ladies anytime you have to do all the link it's going
to be best to probably do it through your computer okay all right so activations for the week so
grab somebody's contact in the chat and once you ladies connecting okay i want you find somebody
to connect connect to okay and then be connecting in the community in the app all right um lift
each other's up okay all right activations for the week i'm kind of going to lean in a little
bit because we didn't get a lot of activity with the activation from last week so i'm going to kind
of extend that for this week and so that's going to continue to stretch yourself with your
interactions with men so this week i want to i really want to see you ladies asking men for help
i want you make you know smiling making eye contact with them while you're out and about
all right some of you it will stretch you especially if you're a boss babe
so like it's okay to ask men for help all right we're gonna we're gonna touch on a little bit
about the divine feminine and the divine masculine today and i'm going to stretch you
ladies even today on on the topics that we're going to discuss all right so this is have an
open mind here okay if some of you're like but i don't want to interact with men time to stretch
you okay sometimes it's just a smile it's a hello it's a soft hi how are you again this doesn't have
to be men that you want to go on a date with i mean if you're out and about the grocery store
and you see you know a younger guy or an older gentleman just say hi ask him to grab something
off the shelf for you i was telling the ladies earlier um that were on a little earlier a few
minutes earlier that i'm sure i'm five three you know and i'll sit there and i will scale
a grocery shelf to get what it is that i need but that's one it's not safe
and two if there's a guy like i might as well say hey can you help me out here you know i
might get a good laugh maybe maybe he'll fall on his face or something like that i don't know
you know but i i would definitely um stretch yourself this week and and come in the community
and share with us your experience i would love to see y'all start getting some live videos in
okay i've seen a lot of you do it and it's great two minutes or less just a brief hop in all right
i did the activation this is what happened all right that's all that's all we're asking
now the next one this one is going to stretch you all as well so write this one down
now first of all how many of you caught supernatural saturday this saturday
raise your hand one two three four okay i think about half of you all right some of you ladies
your assignment is to go watch supernatural saturday you guys have got to start putting
that on your schedules of to do along with the videos that we we have in here start watching
supernatural saturday if you can't make it live all right that's what i did i was in the car
like on the way to pick up my kids and i put it on i'm sitting car line listen to jackie supernatural
saturday all right because this is going to piggyback this activation is going to piggyback
on what she talked about it's about just disciplining our thoughts all right it's
think about what you're thinking about so what we're gonna do is you ladies are gonna fast
negativity for 30 days
you're going to start practicing about what you're thinking about what are your thoughts
are they negative if they're negative you're fasting them you're going to hold those captive
and you're going to cast those out so definitely listen to supernatural saturday if you have not
because i think that's going to help you get a clearer mindset of why we're doing this
but in this this negativity fast for 30 days i want you ladies to be praying and asking the lord
to help you grow in the fruits of the spirit but to specifically ask which fruit he wants you to
focus on growing the most in these next few weeks so the fruits of the spirit galatians 5 22 through
23 love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness self-control
okay
What does he want you to grow in these next couple weeks?
Okay. So those are your activations.
All right. I'm a little behind my time here.
So I want to get, get to it.
Do I still have everybody with me?
Is everybody good? We got our assignments,
we got our activations.
Is anybody like, raise your hand and just be honest with me.
If some of you are like, I don't,
I don't know if I'm going to like these activations.
Okay. Liz has got a heart.
I'm hoping that's saying that she loves these activations.
All right. So I have, I have no one.
Okay, good. Melissa loves these activations too.
Okay. So I didn't like,
I'm not like taking anybody off.
That's good. That's good.
Sometimes I know, sometimes I know,
because here's the thing, ladies,
sometimes I know I offend some of you.
Jackie used to offend me at times.
But like Jackie says,
when we have an offense, it's typically a heart issue
and that's just an opportunity to really heal.
All right.
So I know there's times I do, I do offend you ladies.
And I do it in the kindest and most loving way, I hope.
And, and it's okay if you,
if you get offended by anything that I do or say,
but I always, I always,
I always like to see like who,
who's going to not like me this week.
So I'm glad to know that you all are like ready
for this activation.
It's going to be good.
Okay. So if I didn't offend you with that,
I might offend you with this next one.
Okay. This is not an activation.
This is just going to go with our teaching.
Okay.
So I'm going to ask you some tough questions.
Okay. So I want us just to go ahead and boom.
All right.
And I want honest answers.
I want vulnerability here.
Okay.
So I want,
because I believe these tough questions are going to help
bring clarity and breakthrough for us.
So I want you to think to yourself,
what is your first response?
When you think about men,
what do you believe about men?
And once you start putting that up in the chat,
what is your first initial,
when you think about men,
what, what do you think about them?
Once you put those things in the chat
and be honest ladies.
Cause I think we,
I think we're going to have some,
some great breakthrough here.
All right. This is good.
They're protectors.
We need them.
Strength, leadership, love.
Good.
They're amazing creation of God.
That's good.
Okay.
I want some of you to be honest.
How many of you
sometimes have a negative thought about men?
I know I just told you all to stop the negativity, right?
But this one,
is there anybody
that really
has a thought
that some of the men are not great?
But yeah,
but finding a good man,
you're struggling with.
So men are great,
but you're struggling to find a good man.
So again, are we,
are we believing that men are good?
And again, I love that.
It's hard to find a healed man.
Ladies, that's good.
Guess what?
A lot of us aren't healed.
So yeah,
there's going to be men
that we're going to come in contact with
that they're going to,
they're going to need healing too.
Like ladies, I'll be honest with you.
I have an amazing husband.
Amazing.
But he has areas that he needs healed too.
And ladies, let me tell you,
sometimes it's in that relationship,
we get healed.
So if we're sitting here
and we think that we're going to walk
into these dating experiences,
finding these super healed,
divine masculine men
that aren't going to be flawed in some way
or have certain faults,
we're fooling ourselves.
I was even pondering,
wondering if there's any women
in our phase right now,
and I'm not saying any women right here
that I'm coaching right here
that are live,
but I'm even speaking to the women
that are going to watch this in replay.
Ask yourself,
do you actually like men?
Because I think there's some women
in our community
that are struggling
with even liking men.
And we all know
that y'all want spirit mates,
but do you actually have a kindness
in your heart,
in your mind,
in your spirit towards them?
And that's something that we need
to ask ourselves.
Okay, so again,
I know some of you,
this is going to be like,
I don't like this.
It'll stretch you. It's gonna like I don't like being called out
But I really want you ladies to stop and really think about that
especially when you're interacting with with some of these guys that you're going on dates with and you're finding that they're not good or
They're not healed
Or maybe they just do the wrong things
You know, what is our heart posture?
with them
You know in the divine feminine video if you haven't watched it Jackie really walks through
what
characteristics the divine feminine has she also talks about what it isn't and
There there's a dark toxic feminine as well
Even okay, there's times I sometimes step into this like toxic feminine even in my marriage and I have to be like
Really keen and and when I see it, I have to check myself and say how am I responding to my husband right now?
Am I responding in my divine or my spot?
Responding out of some other areas that I still need healing and growth in
You know
Because many of us are right many of us right now as we're learning we're learn
When we're watching like the divine feminine and we're going through this teaching we
Ourselves are learning how to step in and practice more of our divine feminine
Is it possible that some of these men are experiencing the same thing?
Is it possible that some of these men are not showing up in the divine masculine
The same way that maybe we're not always showing up in our divine feminine
These are things to think about
okay, and I say this ladies because
We have to allow some space for grace
It's so important
It's so important in this dating process to allow space to give grace to a lot of these men
Because
Ladies, I'm gonna give you a little eye-opener and some of you women that have been married before it will understand this
You're gonna have give grace to your husbands
I've been married now a little over a year and
My husband needs grace. I need grace
my husband
grew up
With a mother that was very rigid
Religious legalistic
Critical
judgmental
not very
warm and loving
She doesn't even really show up like that now like even me interacting with my mother-in-law
It doesn't feel soft and warm and fuzzy
Okay, so he grew up in that then my husband was married for 11 years
In a very toxic marriage his late wife suffered from borderline personality disorder
She passed from cancer
There was a lot of just unhealthy things that showed up in their marriage
He never felt safe
He never felt he was emotionally safe in his marriage
that nothing that he could do was ever going to be good enough for her and
Now when I'm in marriage with my husband I see that at times
Where he struggles with opening up to me emotionally because he's never
Experienced that because there is healing that he has to work through
But I have to give him a lot of grace because that's a scary thing for him. He's not fully ready to like
Acknowledge all of the healing that probably needs to take place that I have to give grace and space for and know that
My husband has a relationship with the Lord and the Lord is working on his heart
but he can't work on his heart if I'm constantly rigid and
Controlling myself and critical of my husband and if I'm not stepping in my divine feminine
Grace has to be given
Now ladies what I don't want you to hear and I don't need y'all arguing with me because I know some of you will
but when the guys are
inappropriate and
They have all these things
Ladies I'm not saying give grace to a guy that is sitting here being you know
Demeaning to you and having sexual conversation with you and being completely foul and inappropriate
No, ladies, don't give grace to that.
That's a blessing block.
And you come into this community and you share with us
what these gentlemen know that are not gentlemen,
what these men are saying, what these boys are saying.
OK, some of them are boys if they're being inappropriate.
But what what what are the interactions that men are having with you?
What are they saying?
How are they talking to you?
How are you perceiving it? OK.
Because I'm not saying don't don't give those guys a shot,
like if he is being completely inappropriate, then yeah, let us know.
OK, we understand that.
But some of y'all are like putting the X up on these guys
just because they didn't do something that you think that they needed to do
that showed that they were masculine.
Well, no, you got to give grace.
Some of these guys need to learn how to step into that.
All right, I'm going to go in the chat here real quick
because I see a lot of you messaging, OK?
So, Melissa, that is a question that's coming up for me.
How do we discern the difference between an area
where we need to give a guy grace versus yellow or red flag?
I mean, these can all show up in different things.
So I don't know, Melissa, what you're going to see as a yellow or red flag.
That's why, again, I emphasize it's so important for you ladies
to show up in community.
Let us know what's happening, OK?
What's coming up?
What do you think is a yellow flag?
If you think something's a yellow flag, come share it with us.
Ebony and myself and Bethany will let you know for like, OK, we can see this.
This might be like a proceed with caution.
OK, it might be a how about you give grace with this guy?
I will also preface that sometimes
just getting just to the first and second dates is helpful.
I think sometimes we want to just throw up all the flags
before we even get out and see the guy in real life and in person.
And that's totally fine if you blow up this feed.
Absolutely. I want to see it.
You know what, ladies?
I have to just praise you all and just
just share my gratitude, because this is the first time
and a really long time now.
Mind you, I've been doing this for over a year in this phase.
That I have really seen a lot of you women showing up more frequently.
And that I know that's hard.
And so I'm thankful that you all are blowing up the feed, OK?
I mean, that's why me and Ebony are a team, OK?
Because sometimes if I can't be in, then I know she's covering
that covering it and she's answering, OK?
Like it is our heart to come and serve you and help you in these areas.
OK, so don't don't ever feel like you're blowing up the feed.
All right. If you truly have questions like we're here.
And that's why I also tell you all to come here, because here in a moment,
I'm going to give you all the opportunity to ask your questions
and get more more help with coaching.
OK, so I'm going here.
Alessandra, she says, I find that I'm not attracted to most Christian men
and the ones who I'm attracted to seem emotionally unavailable
or looking for a model.
OK, so again, like that's what we have to we're going to we can dive into
when you say you're not attracted.
So what this is a better question.
What do you find attractive in men?
OK, and so what's coming up for me right now to share to you all,
because this is something I had to learn, is.
What do we find attractive?
And so oftentimes it will take this is why we talk about discovery dating.
Just get out on the dates.
Find what you like.
Find what you don't like.
Share it with us in the community.
This is what I don't really like.
This is what I do like.
OK, if we start seeing a a pattern of you not liking certain things.
We might ask you, you know,
are you surrendering the pen here?
Like some of you might need to visit.
What are your never will I evers?
Are they really non-negotiables from heaven or are they
are they blockage? Like, is it a block?
So again, I would ask, like, what do you find attractive?
I was given a task many years ago, and this was so eye opening to me.
I had someone tell me and give me this assignment
to any person that I interacted with.
Find something that I was attracted.
Two in them.
And so and I was and they were like, well, like men,
and they were like, no, everyone.
So I was a schoolteacher at the time.
They're like, find something attractive about, you know,
some of the students that you have.
And it wasn't from like a perverse thing. It was.
It was a way for me to start seeing character.
and heart. Wow, this kid has such a kindness about him. He is, you know,
helping all these other kids that, you know, are struggling. Wow, what a kind
heart. That's really attractive. Kindness that someone has. You know, maybe it's,
you know, someone like, wow, that person has a really awesome servant's heart.
Ladies, that is something that I learned I was super attracted in when it came to
men. I wanted to marry a man that had a servant's heart, that was willing to
sacrifice things for him, like in himself, to give to others, but had healthy
balance with it. So again, it's what do we find attractive? Are we just like, and
again, I know some of you ladies are, you know, I'm not always talking about, like,
we're talking about the heart here. That is where the attraction of having solid
heart attraction, that's where the foundation is, and that's what you'll
hear Jackie, myself, Bethany, Ebony, you'll have so many of us coaches share that in
this community, because remind you, I've been here almost five years in this
community. I've seen all the love stories happen, and I know personally some of
the women that when they started dating a certain gentleman or guy, they didn't
find them physically attracted, but they found other things that they were
attracted to that that physical attraction grew, and now they're married
to those men. I even share this, my husband, I was not physically attracted
to right away. I saw pictures of him, and I'm like, yeah, he's okay. It's not like a
hunk. I wouldn't like see him on the street, be like, I want to get to know him,
you know. He wasn't, like, but I will tell you, like, after a couple dates and, like,
interacting with him and seeing his heart and how he just really protected
and cared for me, I was like, dang, this is hot. Like, this guy is so protective
and is concerned about my boundaries. He's respectful of my boundaries, and
ladies, that was like, oh, I was like, this guy is so good-looking, like, and now, like, I
like, look at my husband, I'm like, dang, he's good-looking, you know, and, like, so
that stuff, that stuff will come, okay. Like, we have to be open getting
ourselves on these first and second dates, okay. Now, obviously, if there are
red flags, we're gonna tell you this is a red flag. No, don't proceed, okay, but
that's why it's important for you ladies to be coming into our community and
sharing what's going on. So, Mackenzie says, some of the men
around me are very needy and socially awkward, and it's hard to interact with
them all the time. Yeah, I get it. Yep, but again, it's having some grace for
them, you know, we don't know what some of these men have experienced, you know,
like, and I truly believe, and I wasn't even gonna, like, this is just, you know, my
honest opinion. I think the masculine is under attack in our society. I think it's
been under attack for a really long time, and ladies, it's not gonna be helpful to
the kingdom if we're not helping give grace to some of these men and helping
them, you know, by giving them space to grow into their masculinity, okay. It's
not gonna be us that forces them to be masculine, but we can keep them from
stepping into their masculine if we're constantly being rigid and not stepping
in our divine, okay, and we're trying to take over the role of the masculine. We
don't want to do that, okay. Stephanie, okay, you said you think it's the ego
thing that's hard for you at times, feels like I have to be super careful with a
couple of men I know because they are very easily offended. Yeah, so, I mean,
again, these are some things that we can kind of talk about, all right, and these
are things, ladies, I want you coming into the community, I want you sharing
what you're experiencing on these dates, and we will help coach you through that,
okay, but I'm sharing all of this today because I really think we need to be
focused on what is our heart posture towards men. Do we have a heart posture
that's entitled? A man has to do X, Y, Z or he doesn't get our
good graces. We don't want to have an entitled heart. We want to have a softer heart posture,
and again, that goes to the divine feminine, and going back and watching that video,
what that looks like. I just want to make sure I've covered everything here.
It's really important to learn and understand that men are and can be chivalrous.
God brought a lot of men in my walk, in my dating, in this program to show me that there are men
that are willing to open a door for me, to pay the bill, to treat me in a way that was honoring,
to be kind and considerate of what my needs were, to ask for my insight before they planned a date.
They were being considerate of me. That's actually, again, one thing that
really attracted me to my husband. He was constantly posturing his heart
in a way that he wanted to know that I felt comfortable.
But just because men don't maybe show chivalry right away, it doesn't mean that they can't,
that they can't learn. It's holding that space for them so that if they don't do it the right
way, that we give them an opportunity that they can. I think,
Alessandra, it might have been you. You had that situation with somebody
where they, the splitting the bill thing, right? Yes. Eternal debate on whether the girl should
offer, whether the girl should not offer, if the guy accepts the offer. For me, that's a big
turnoff. If the guy proposes dinner, so this guy proposed dinner, and then I offered because
another guy friend of mine said, no, it's very rude to not offer. So I offered and the guy
accepted my offer, which I was annoyed about. Yeah. That was my question to you is why offer
them? I know. Well, I'm going forward, not going to offer, but I don't want to be seen as
someone that wants to take advantage of men or that's assuming or that's entitled.
But I think that's what I said. I, I relate to you in that. And that's why I asked you,
because I really felt like I got you there because in the very beginning, I felt the same way. I never
wanted to be seen as a gold digger. Okay. I was a single mom. And so I oftentimes felt that men
thought I only wanted to date them or have relationship with them because I had this
lie that I was believing that men were going to assume that I wanted them to take care of me and
my son. And really like that was a lie. I was believing that men were going to see me like that
because that wasn't my heart. I knew that that wasn't what I was asking,
but the enemy was trying to sit here and get me to think that I was unworthy.
And I had to be really cautious on how men saw me, ladies, men are going to see us. However,
they're going to see us through whatever lens that they're in. And some of them are going to
be healthy and healed. And some of them aren't. So that's why, again, I love this topic of men
paying for dates, because I think it can go several different ways. I had to learn to be
okay with men paying for me on a date. In fact, God brought me to go on a date with a guy friend
of mine that I wasn't even like, there was no romance. Like we were college friends. He moved
from Chicago down to Florida where I was living. And we hung out and he's like, let's go to dinner.
And I was going to pay because we were friends. Like I'm going to pay my bill and he's going to
pay yet. And he looked at me, he's like, Carla, no, I'm covering you. He wasn't covering me like
the bill because he wanted a relationship with me. He was doing it because he wanted to show a nice
gesture to his friend. And God showed me that it was okay to accept that from men. It was okay for
men to offer to pay for me. Now, did I expect it every time I went out? No,
I liked it when men did that. I was attracted to men that
I wanted to do that.
But if a man didn't offer to pay for me,
I was okay with it.
I didn't have to be upset about it.
I don't know what his financial situation is.
I don't know what his past is with other women.
Because guess what, ladies?
I might not have the heart posture to be a gold digger,
but it doesn't mean that there aren't women out there
that really are unhealthy
and trying to get men to pay for everything for them.
So you don't know if that man has interacted
with those type of women in the past.
So he may be on guard because he doesn't feel
like women appreciate and value him for who he is.
They're only worried about,
he's worried that a woman's only gonna want him
for his money.
Okay, and I'm not saying like,
again, it's just to have that perspective
is that we don't have to be easily offended.
I think it's chivalrous for a man to pay.
I know even Jackie coaches this,
let the men pay for the dates,
but let's watch about getting offended if they don't.
They may just have a block that they need help with.
They need to learn and see that
that's not what you're there for, okay?
So Carla, I was-
I always say like when it comes to this, okay?
So when you're out on a date, okay, and you're at dinner,
say you're at dinner or lunch or whatever,
and you've got a waitress, the waitress most likely,
because I was a waitress for many, many years,
she's gonna have set down one bill.
Let the man pick it up.
Let it sit there, have a conversation at some point,
you know, and then if you see like, okay,
maybe, you know, there's an awkwardness,
you might be like, hey, do you wanna split that?
And at that point, he might say, yeah, do you mind?
No, not at all.
Okay, I'm gonna cover it, okay?
The next time you go out on a second date,
because maybe that was the only thing
that kind of was like, eh, I don't know.
Maybe the second date, maybe offer something
that's, you just go for a walk.
You go do, you know, go do something
that's maybe not gonna cost a lot of money.
Maybe it's going to get a cup of coffee.
Because again, what if it's a financial thing?
Again, we're here to coach you through this.
Excuse me, so as things come up in your dating,
if you want more direction of, you know,
how do I handle this situation?
We're here to help walk you through that.
So I think Alessandra, like she brought this up to,
you know, brought it up and was like,
hey, this is what I'm struggling with.
So now it gives us the opportunity to walk her through,
like the next time she goes on a date.
So for example, like, are you going to go
on a second date with this guy?
No, I also have another kind of question thing
that I'm struggling with because,
so I live in Mexico City, Christianity is a minority
and majority is Catholic.
But I'm really torn because if I just limit my filters
on Christianity, there's just done, like there's no one.
And I'm on three different apps and it's just no one.
So I opened up my filters to Catholic and spiritual,
but like the majority are not,
Catholics are not practicing and spiritual neither.
And it's like, do I,
should I waste my time going out with guys
who don't have a relationship with Jesus
just to go out on dates?
Or should I just sit and wait until like a Christian guy
appears, which is what I've been doing for 10.
Okay, so the first thing that kind of came out to me
and I'm going to coach this, okay.
This might stretch you, right?
Because I've, again, being in this phase and coaching
for over a year, there's this thought of,
do I waste my time?
Okay.
Is it a waste of your time to get to know people?
I mean, the people I'm never going to see again,
like I can kind of tell by their profile, like.
But again, like this is an opportunity for you
to just discover, to get to know more people
and to allow God to stretch you and see.
Because again, this is about the surrendering of the pen
and allowing God to come in and really show us
and heal certain areas.
Because ladies, I will tell you this,
part of this process is going to be healing.
The dating process will be healing.
Things are going to get revealed to you
in the dating process that you didn't even know
that needed to be healed.
And it's part of the preparation for marriage.
I had to work through a lot of that, okay?
And so again, I.
Let's really ask ourselves, why do I have this mindset that I'm wasting my time?
Am I truly wasting my time?
Now, again, I know that this can get confusing in this phase of,
do I date the Christian, do I not date the non-Christian?
Do I date a believer, do I not date a believer?
My advice, my direction for you ladies is,
I guess what I'm trying to say is,
you may not know what their relationship with the Lord looks like.
Now, when I was going through and looking at parameters on my online dating,
I decided for myself that in that little category where it says religion,
and then they give a response,
if they didn't say something about,
if they were atheist or agnostic,
I wasn't going to entertain that.
Because I'm a believer,
and I want a husband that also has the same views of Jesus as I do.
What I will share with you is,
because I was actually just talking to Bethany about this recently,
and it's even something that my husband and I have maybe not seen eye-to-eye to is,
and I'm sharing this from a perspective because I don't have experience with this,
but Bethany did.
Bethany's husband Brian,
because she met him on Facebook dating,
his thing said that he was Methodist.
She almost questioned whether or not she should move forward with Brian,
because he said he was Methodist.
I'm going to read to you how she was talking to me.
She's like,
in the beginning, I wasn't sure if it was good for me to move forward with Brian because he was Methodist.
What I learned through that is being unequally yoked isn't about denominations
as much as it is about a person's spiritual DNA.
What do they believe about Jesus,
and does each person in the couple have similar values and beliefs,
and how they walk out their relationship with Jesus?
Then she goes on to saying,
again, it goes back to supernaturally surrendering,
and committing to surrendering those things to the Lord.
She remembers it really goes back to that surrender and the never will I evers.
If we're having a religious heart posture,
those might be areas that God wants to work on us,
and that might be why he may be bringing us at times different people of different denominations,
because he wants to show us something.
I'm not saying that's going to always happen,
but I'm saying those are things to keep in consider because she said,
Brian is an incredible,
and this is what she said,
Brian is an incredible man and filled with the spirit,
and is committed to his relationship with Christ.
Okay, even though he's Methodist,
and she shared this,
she's like,
if I had kept my religious mindset and my walls up regarding his denomination,
she would have completely missed out on her husband.
I mean, not that you're going to miss out on your husband,
but she would have missed out on the opportunity to say yes to who God was bringing into her.
Again, we have free will.
She could have said no,
and God could have brought somebody else for her,
but she values and knows what goodness is coming from their marriage,
and she's like,
I'm not unequally yoked.
Does he operate in the prophetic stuff that she does?
No,
but she's also learning that his gifts and abilities bring balance to her life and viewpoint.
So,
I say that because again,
you know,
be open to going on at least one or two dates with someone that you're not sure what their faith life looks like.
Most of the time, ladies, you're not going to know.
Now,
we're not wanting it.
I say this because I've seen women start grilling men and forcing and asking questions about a man's faith.
I don't agree with that.
Now, can it come up organically?
Absolutely.
All right.
Ask certain nicer settled questions that can lean into more of what that looks like.
like. Okay. And so, you know, sometimes you'd be like, what's
your Sunday look like? You know, or if they say that they're
Christian, or maybe they put something in their bio, or maybe
they're Catholic, you can ask them, you know, you know, what
does that look like for you? What's your faith walk look
like, you know, especially if they mentioned in their bio, you
can say something to them about it. Okay. We just don't want
y'all grilling them. And literally putting the ax on
them, without really getting to know their heart. Because again,
we don't know what their heart posture is towards the Lord.
Some people might, you know, they might grow up Catholic and,
and then they're fine if they're, you know, they have a
relationship with Jesus. And, you know, they might be, you
know, okay, shifting over into a different denomination, maybe
they're not tied to a particular denomination, it's just all that
they've known, it's all that they've grown up with, which it
sounds like, Alessandra, like, a lot of people in that culture,
that's, that's just a culture thing. That's what they've grown
up with. So again, like, what does that look like for them,
they might be open to discovering what a different
denomination is, we don't know. But again, I wouldn't stress you
ladies to be grilling these men on any of that stuff. And so
again, we can walk you through that process as well as those
situations come up. Okay, I know, I kind of just talked a
lot and I see a lot of hands and I want to leave space for
you ladies. Alessandra, did you have anything else? Did you feel
like we touched on?
Yeah, I think it's just kind of, I mean, it's helpful to hear
that you left your filters open, but then people who are
agnostic and atheists, you kind of pass. Yeah. That's what I was
doing. But yeah, I just feel like, Oh, these people, like,
you know,
I mean, it's sometimes like, if you're starting to get like a
flood in, like, yeah, it's a flood. So you might put another
filter on there. Like, okay, I'm only gonna go like with someone
that says they're a Christian, whatever that looks like, I
didn't want to swipe right on or I don't want to swipe on people
that that, or, or some people put that spiritual but not
religious, like, I didn't really love that. So I didn't like,
again, everyone has their own preferences of things or open to
again, if you're being flooded with stuff, then yeah, you can
set a little you can you can put up a little more of a filter, if
you know, but I also know that some women they're like,
there's no man I'm like, Okay, well, let's just open the
filter. Let's just start getting the practice. Let's start
getting to know people. And some people, ladies, I'll share this
Jackie's, Jackie has men clients. And she's shared that
some of the clients and the men that she's coached, they do not
put that they're Christian on their profiles. Because they
find that they get infiltrated with really hungry Christian
women that are like ready, like they want to pop out babies, and
they want to get married. And the guys are like, hold on. So
some, some of the guys that she has coached and she's talked to,
they've shared with her, like, I don't even put Christian on my
site on my on my profile. Because they don't want to be
infiltrated by these, you know, very Christian, religious
ladies. So like, they're kind of turned off by it. So they don't
even put it on there. You know, obviously, are they looking for
a Christian woman? Yeah, they are. But they're not trying to,
like get married tomorrow. And you have to remember, like men
don't have like the biological clock that we do. Like we we
struggle with that. And I know that that comes up for you
ladies, but I don't want to waste my time because I don't
have much time and I still want to be a mom or I want to do this
and want to do that. I get it. You know, I still wanted I
wanted another child. You know, I had a I had a young child and
I wanted I wanted another. And I thought, I don't have much
time. And then lo and behold, my husband came with two kids. He
had a vasectomy, he couldn't have more kids. I thought that
was going to be a deal breaker. And the Lord was like, Whoa,
Carla, I told you you were going to have more children. It didn't
tell you were going to birth them. I mean, that was a smack
in my face. I was like, Oh, dang, God, you're right. And now
I have three amazing kids. And y'all, I don't want another one.
I'm fine with my three, they keep me very busy. And we have
a lot of healing in our family and our blending, you know, so I
mean, my two older kids, they lost they lost their earthly
mom. You know, they they've been without a mom for many years.
And so it's a whole process for them now too. So again, I get
that whole like
anxiety, but again we've got to cast those things on the Lord. Okay, all right, I got Karen, I got
Melissa, I got Leslie, I got Zoom user, I don't know who you are, you got a pretty striped shirt on,
I got your hand raised, and then I got Liz. Okay, so ladies, I got five of you, we are like seven
minutes past the hour, so let's keep these short, brief, and powerful. I'm gonna leave the space to
answer those, you five questions, if anybody else has questions, put your hand up now, otherwise
we're going to ask that you put it in the group, and we'll answer it there in the group. Okay,
all right, Karen, how are you? I'm good, thanks. So I guess you've kind of answered some of my
question, but I have been saying no to anybody who doesn't say that they're a Christian, because
I've already dated people who are non-Christian, and I guess I'm afraid of falling for somebody
who's not Christian, and then getting far enough where it's like harder to break it off, because we
realize that we aren't equally yoked, but I've said no to some guys who are really
interesting, who haven't said anything, so like, I don't know, I guess what would, it sounds like you
are encouraging being open, and just meeting them, or yeah, just again, you know, just again, process
that stuff with us here, and with the Lord, I mean, if you see a guy in whose profile looks nice, and
yeah, like I mean, because I will tell you some men, like you can tell by how they're writing
their profile, like yeah, a good person, like they're just, yeah, and if anything, like sometimes it's
just nice to go out with somebody that's just really a pleasant person to be around, yeah, God
can show you, and you know, maybe he's, he doesn't have a walk with the Lord, but maybe he's just a
stand-up gentleman, and he has fruits, because we talked to you ladies about not being a gift inspector,
like does this, does this guy have all these gifts, can he speak in tongues, does he get visions, does he,
you know, does he have a prophetic gift, does he have, no, let's not look at the gifts, and be gifts
inspectors, we want to be fruit inspectors, do they have the fruit of the spirit, are they kind, are
they patient, do they have love, do they have joy, do they have peace, you know, faithfulness, yeah, like you're
gonna see that, I mean, if they don't have a walk with the Lord, you might not see that they have a
faithfulness, but again, as you guys grow into getting to know them, you might be surprised,
you know, they may be open, you might be encountering someone that, you know, has started maybe
looking at their faith, but they're not sure, because you don't know what religious or church
hurt they've experienced in their life, yeah, and so again, don't miss out on opportunities of
going out with a nice guy, just because, yeah, he doesn't, now as you get to know him, and you don't
see these, we talk about the three Ms, is he masculine, is he mature, is he marriage-minded,
or that, is he a true gentleman, if you start seeing that this guy's not a true gentleman,
you know, he's all like, he's okay with, you know, sex before marriage, which again, we're not saying
that you're going to know that offhand, but I will tell you, you'd be surprised what you can
kind of learn without needing to ask what their stance on that, I coached a woman yesterday,
and she was telling me this guy, there was some things that he said that I was like,
you know, it's a little red flag-ish, but he was pretty nice when she did meet up with him,
but then she shared how he might not know how to behave in dating, because he was in a 17-year
relationship and was never married to the person, oh, ladies, like, I kind of can see him like,
okay, he's, there's no man that's going to be in a relationship with a woman for 17 years,
and he's not having sex with her, yeah, let's be real, okay, so I mean, to me, I'm like,
that to me would be more of a red flag, like this guy doesn't seem like he's going to honor
your desire to walk in, you know, waiting for marriage, and marriage doesn't seem like it's
probably on the table for him, again, I'm not, I mean, to me, that was more of like a very orange,
almost red flag as she started to like him more, then we could start seeing that there might be
more red flags coming up, and then at that point, she might only be two dates in, maybe a third date
where she can just say, hey, look, thank you for spending time with me, it's been nice getting to
know you, I don't see this going anywhere romantically, I wish you the best, and then let it
go.
So I don't want you ladies missing out on going out with some really nice guys
Gotcha. Okay, like that's what we're looking for. You're looking for going out with a nice guy. Yeah, no one that's gonna be a gentleman
It's gonna you know honor you
Show you that there are good men out there now ladies are gonna come across some not-so-great ones. Yeah
We don't have to get offended
We don't have it and here's the thing if we get offended by some of the men and some of the things that the guys
Do guess what?
That is an inward thing
Yeah, so we got to work through some hard stuff
Like that's important. And that's what we're here for. Come let us know. We'll help you with that
I mean, I can't tell you how much hard work I had to do in my dating process
Like I had one guy that like
You know
I turned down because he was like 10 years older than me and I wasn't interested in dating someone who was almost years older than
Me and when I talked to him about it
He like bit my dog and then started proceeding to say well I went out with a 20 year old and like mind you he
Was like 36 or 37. He's like, well, I went out with a 21 year old last week and I'm like, that's gross
About it and I mean I was bad
You know what ladies, you know what that man showed me I
Really did struggle with men that dated really younger women because my son's father left me seven months pregnant
For a woman who was 12 years younger than me
Okay, God like pulled that he's like look you got some healing to do here Carla
So when we have things like that come up, are we supposed to that is that one?
We're supposed to post a video. How do we bring it to the community? Like
Yeah posted video I mean anything that comes up ladies
I want to encourage you get in the in the app in the group
several times a week
Show let us know what's going on in your life and it doesn't have to be what you're like a dating thing
It can be a hard work thing. It can be a thing within community. It could be a thing with that
You're struggling with your girlfriends
You know
Whatever it is that that God is highlighting in your life right now or something that you're working on or maybe it's an aha moment
That you had maybe it was like, oh my goodness. This is what God showed me or you know
And this is really awesome like celebrate with us. It can be about
Anything do live with us?
Okay
Cool. Thank you so much for sharing Karen. I hope that I hope this helped you very much. Thank you. Good
Melissa, how are you?
I'm doing. All right. How are you Carla?
And I don't I want again. I want to encourage you do not feel like you're posting too much. I know you said that
Like you come now like him are we gonna respond to everything right away not maybe not always like we might have to like
Take a minute and come back
Because sometimes I like I might only have like 20 minutes to respond and I'll go in and do what I can and then I have
To come back a couple hours later. So don't think that we're avoiding you for not answering you
Well, you guys so far. I just don't want especially the ladies in the group be like, oh my gosh this girl
She's posting again
No
But here's the thing is you ladies will learn from each other like the questions that you ask is the chances are someone else has
the same question
well
In that regard. I want to be sensitive of time
I actually do have a lot of questions based on what you were talking with Alessandra here and about
I think that I'm very much struggling to find this balance and I
Mentioned somewhere in one of my comments. I definitely swung the door wide wide open like with my filters
like I don't think that they've been
Honed in enough. Don't you have like 10 people you're talking to you? Oh girl. I there's conversations that have been started
I'm probably at like 20 that have been started in the past week. Okay, we're gonna we're gonna have you like
That's
Okay, so just again I would spend time with Holy Spirit and really highlight, you know
I say like two three no more than four that you really genuinely
Want to learn and enjoy and get to know better. Yeah
Mean I'm actually I'm naturally gravitating towards a couple of them for sure
Which is great the others
I just feel like that's where it feels like more of a job to just kind of keep up with like if I want to
Keep the connection going to see if there's a date
But my question is in the midst of that the couple that I feel like I'm more
Gravitating towards along these lines of whether it's filters not filters gauging like what the Holy Spirit's prompting
How do we be open not too?
Judgmental, but also be guarded and pay attention to red and yellow flags. Like I think I'm really struggling
struggling to know where that balance is, especially when I want to convey to someone
a, that I'm marriage minded, that marriage is really important to me.
And that's what I'm looking for.
B, that my faith is important to me without coming on really strong, but then guarding
what you guys are telling us to do and saying like, yeah, don't, don't cover the intense
topics at first.
Don't grill the guy.
Don't.
And even if you must share too much, like, okay, so how do I convey to him that I'm serious
about this and that these values matter yet still sort of stick to this guideline.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, it does.
And I think that the thing that I'm, you know, really feeling in my spirit and I think it's
important for you ladies to know is yes, we, we understand like we are marriage minded
and there's certain things that are really important to us, but again, you're still in
these early stages of dating and it's okay to just let your hair down and just enjoy
it.
Enjoy that process of just going out and having fun with somebody new.
And so my suggestion even is as you're like talking and getting to know them, like, are
any of these guys that you're gravitating towards?
Are they local?
Yeah, actually three of them are local.
One is not.
So then let's just get, get the in-person date set up.
We don't have to, we don't have to categorize like, is this guy, my husband, is he not like,
we don't have to know that stuff.
Oftentimes we don't know that right away.
Like truth be told is that oftentimes, and Jackie will share this when she's, you know,
matching people and she's, you know, intertwined in people's love story is that oftentimes
the women are not sure in the very beginning whether or not that person is their husband
or not.
Yeah.
Oftentimes the men are the ones that are like, they know right away, the way we take
a little more time, because again, remember we're very emotional creatures.
Our feminine is drawn to that empath emotional.
And so we need to feel that we have more of a connection on a different level than maybe
what some men need to take us time.
And so I want to encourage you that you don't have to know right away if this guy values
or honors the same things that you do.
Just go out on the date, spend time, enjoy them.
And as you get to know them more and the more that you like, once you've been on at least
two dates, typically there's more of a comfort level.
I don't know if you all have experienced that.
Like when I went out on dates, like the first date is always like a little, like you're
a little nervous, a little awkward, right?
And then by the second date, you're like, okay, I've, I've met this person before.
I've had some conversation.
My guard is a little, like I'm more at ease.
And then typically by a third date, there's more of a comfort.
So you can have some more of those topics.
And again, you're looking for indicators that they are marriage minded and masculine and
mature.
And I don't know if you were able to hear my replay from last week, but I shared that
and was like, ladies, you're not always going to see the three Ms on a first date.
You might not even see it on a second.
And that's why it's, it's a yes until it's a no.
So right now these guys are yeses.
Okay.
And I think my question is also on the flip side, like this one guy that I had posted
about who asked those really intense questions, questioning me and saying marriage minded.
And I'm like, I am, but I was basically trying to tell him what you're telling me, like,
just because it doesn't mean I need to be going into the deep and tearing open every
heart wound.
It's for you.
This is when like, again, and I laugh at this because my husband would go like before we
even met, cause we were long distance, he was living in Texas.
I was in Florida.
And so, and I didn't even do everything right.
Y'all like, we tell you to get those video chats, like within the first week and to get
off the texting.
My husband and I were texting for three weeks before we met.
I didn't do a video call with him.
Cause honestly I was in a point where I'm like, this is just not going to go anywhere.
I would been let down so often.
I was just kind of like, whatever, God's just going to have to perform a miracle here.
And so we, right before we went out in person, he flew in to see, well, he flew in for work,
but I was like, okay, I probably need to have a phone conversation with this guy.
And so even I didn't do that correctly, but it was more again, along the lines of just
like, it's a yes until it's a no.
And I was just like, but he.
but deep dive questions through text.
And I mean, there was things I learned about him
that I shouldn't have learned about him early on,
but I didn't allow that to be like,
oh no, you didn't do it right.
You didn't do it the way my mentor told me
that you were supposed to do it.
I mean, I remember going to Jackie and been like,
I don't know, this guy, this, this guy, this.
And she's like, Carla, get off the ledge,
just go on the date and have fun.
And that's what she told me.
It's like, I'm overthinking it, Carla.
I mean, she knows me very well.
And so she's like, stop overthinking it.
Just go enjoy the date.
And I was like, fine.
And so, like I said, like I didn't do everything right,
but this is when, you know, we'll play ladies,
like just let the guys know, be like, you know what,
these are all really great questions.
Maybe we can address them when we meet in person.
And then at that point,
you can have a more of authentic conversation
and you can share like, look, like I'm about learning more
about the here and now.
Yes, I'm marriage minded too,
but I think, you know, it's important to get to know
somebody and see, do you enjoy and get along with a person?
Because that's the person
you're spending the rest of your life with.
Ladies, you're gonna wanna like enjoy your husband.
Like, you're gonna be with him for the rest of your life.
Like, can you have fun with him?
Is he, like, can you have a good laugh?
Do you enjoy some of the same things?
And guess what, they're gonna be sometimes
that you're not gonna enjoy everything that they enjoy
and they're not gonna enjoy everything that you enjoy.
Like, and that's fine.
Like, can you hold a conversation with them?
What about them is exciting to learn about them?
Like, you want to be best friends with your husband.
So you're gonna have to go through that,
like getting to know you phase
without all the deep dive questions.
But again, I get it because my husband did the same thing.
I was like, whoa, dude.
Like, and so there is a softness that you can say like,
look, these are really great questions.
I'd love to answer these
once we've gotten to know each other a little more
or maybe once we can get on an in-person date
and we can see each other's like facial expressions
and body language.
Yes, I'm marriage minded, but I also wanna know that I,
you know, get along and can enjoy a person that I marry.
That we have some things in common.
Like, that's how I would approach that.
But yeah, I get it.
My husband did it too.
Leslie, how are you?
I'm good, how are you?
Good.
First, I am so grateful for this program
because online dating is ridiculous.
So I'm so grateful for this program
for just like giving some instructions.
So my question, I've been talking to a guy
on Zoom twice now.
We were gonna go on a real date,
but my daughter got sick and we couldn't go.
And I tend to be attracted to men
that are less than like emotionally available.
Like the types that are kind of standoffish, more shut out.
And so this guy is the exact opposite of that.
And he's like, so he just seems great.
He seems genuine, definitely a man of God, like really great.
Like my attraction to him is like 50%,
you know what I mean?
Like not the guy that I'm usually attracted to.
But what I guess is a little bit,
and I don't know if this is a red flag or a yellow flag
or no flag, I'm not sure, but he's just like all about me.
Like he's building a house right now.
And he's like, yeah, I'm building this.
And down the road, maybe I'll sell it
and we'll build our own house.
And I'm like, I'm like, what?
Because I like just got out of a relationship,
dated a guy for four and a half years
who like never asked me to marry him.
So I'm like, I'm trying to stick with that.
I feel like he's more like my type of attachment style,
which is this like anxious.
Which is-
Yeah, I was gonna say,
it sounds like he has a little bit of anxious.
And it's probably like, again,
like you said that you've been attracted
to some of maybe the avoidant attachment styles,
where now you're being, you know,
you're attracting some other ones.
And ladies, I will even say that happened to me is,
you know, when you get some heart healing,
you'll be surprised of what like you start attracting.
Like I started attracting much healthier men
than I did before.
And it's kind of what we go with the, you know,
Jackie says, what you believe you become
and what you become you attract.
So when we can break off some of the lies,
we no longer feel that we walk in that.
And then it's, we're no longer attracted to that.
And you'll probably find Leslie,
that as you date and get to know and chatting online,
that some of the guys that you used to be attracted to
that were avoidant,
you're not attracted to that style anymore.
see that shift probably happen but with this guy this this guy who's you know so you guys have not
met in person so yeah i mean i wouldn't say that it is a you know a red flag i i would say that
it's a you know maybe like greenish yellow like we might be moving towards a yellow flag that you
know maybe he's just really excited um he's probably just sounds like he's really excited
like you're a gorgeous girl you know and and so i mean it's funny because my husband even just
broke down to me the other day you know and was like i honestly didn't even he's like i thought
you were completely out of my league i never thought you would pick me and he's like you know
you were the prettiest girl that i've ever dated and i was just like what like you know so and my
husband had some of those anxious you know things and i was just like oh that makes sense now um
so i would just say it's probably like a greenish yellow flag it's just something to kind of keep
an eye on i wouldn't say don't go out on a date with him get to know him this is where if you see
it showing up maybe just reassure him in ways of you know i i really noticed that you say
these things and i just um you know maybe a subtle way of saying like i'm really enjoying
getting to know you um i'm still just taking things slow so and you can be honest with him
when you mention things like this it throws me off a bit because i'm still trying to take
things slow like i want to get to know you i enjoy getting to know you but um i just want
to take some time to see where this is going to head i mean you again if you can do whatever that
you feel um whatever i don't want to put words in your mouth but again like i think too like you
guys say to be talking to other guys and i'm like if if he knows i'm talking to other guys is he
gonna like freak out like i just might weird like he might but then that's on him he might
and that's on him and again like you guys are not an exclusive relationship you don't have to
be committed to one person like because here's the thing ladies when you guys are dating
multiple people again we encourage that when y'all are dating at level two there's no physical
romantic contact happening y'all are not kissing these men so i want to just again i want to make
sure that we have that clear like when we're telling y'all to be you know you can date a
couple different guys at once you also are not kissing all these guys okay there's no romantical
like stuff happening okay now a handhold a hug possibly but we're not we're not kissing all right
so let's so again if someone is going to be offended because you're having conversations
and building relationships and friendships and getting to know people that that's not that's a
that's an offense that's a hard thing with them i mean the way i always look at it is ladies like
if you all are getting to know other women and friends like is your best friend going to be
offended because you're going out hanging out with another girlfriend and getting to know another
woman in a community no she's not going to get offended if anything she's probably be like yeah
join like join the sister squad right now obviously guys aren't going to be like yeah let's just you
know join in this like you know thing but again it's level two it's just getting to know you
and so if you have to kind of set a boundary of look i just want to be clear we're just getting
to know each other um i need to take things slow all right and you don't have you you don't have to
if guys are asking you ladies especially after a first or second date if you're dating other people
like i would say that's a yellow flag and be like well i mean we're not exclusive and i'm not ready
to be exclusive so i'm not sure why you're asking that i mean that's that's how i would
approach it i mean especially i mean i know some some ladies in this community they've been asked
that and they haven't even gone on a first date like why is a guy asking if you're talking to
somebody else and you haven't even been on one date with them so it's okay i would just say meet him
you know get to know him if you see that he's just kind of coming on too strong
set a healthy boundary let him know like look i'm enjoying getting to know you
i'm just not wanting to move in a fast pace like can we take things slow
And again, see how he responds.
Ladies setting boundaries is really good because you're going to see how they respond and respect
those boundaries.
All right, Perla.
Hopefully that helped you, Leslie.
Did that?
Good.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Good.
All right, Perla, how are you?
Hey, Carla.
I'm good.
How are you?
Good.
Well, you wanted me to hop on here.
So I wanted to talk to you about it kind of goes in line with what people have been asking
about the Catholic thing.
And just to clarify on my post, like online dating has been daunting.
It's insane.
And I obviously haven't gone out with the guys that I listed.
I just wanted to share a little bit about my experience.
But this Okay, so the Catholic guy is the one that's like standing out the most the
one that's like been consistent texting every day.
We've had to zoom date.
And they've been great.
All good things.
I already know, like, I just from our conversations and things he's shared, like I can gauge that
it's a traditional, it's more of like a tradition rather than like relationship.
And also just certain aspects of like what I mentioned that are fundamentally different
than what I like, you know, what I would be looking for in a partner.
But I mean, so my question is, he's trying to fly out.
He lives in Arizona.
And he's trying to he's been like asking for time to come out here and take me out.
And so for me, I'm like, if I already see this, is it you know, it's like a money investment
for him.
investment.
Do I go further with this or?
Okay, yeah.
So your situation is a little bit different.
So I'm seeing that now.
So thank you for coming in and giving us more detail on that, because this this gives me
a lot more perspective.
So yeah, it sounds like you guys have probably already exchanged and had conversation about
faith a little bit, not not too deep.
And I haven't been like, the bulldozing question type, but, but just gauging from like, what
he has shared.
And yeah, and like, when I'm sharing about what I'm doing, because I'm very open, like,
hey, what did you do tonight?
worship night?
His eyes kind of like, what's his response?
What's his response?
When you share how your face shows up in your life?
How does he respond to that?
It's positive, but it's also kind of like the gloss overlook, like, a lack of understanding
it.
Okay.
And so I'm not, like, I don't shut that down.
But also, it's kind of like, I kind of do I want someone to speak my spiritual language,
right?
And I'm gonna not get that.
But again, like, that's where I, you know, again, I brought up, you know, even what Bethany
shared, and I'll even share my own personal stuff is, you know, um, you know, Bethany
married Brian, who was Methodist, and does he act in the prophetic, like the way that
she does know, but he still has gifts, and attributes that really balance her out.
I'm also learning like, with my husband, like, the way his relationship with the Lord looks
completely different than the way that I connect with the Lord.
But we, we compliment each other on that.
So that's why, like, we, we emphasize that, you know, yes, like, you know, we may have
this idea, like, okay, like, they see it the same spiritually way that we do, but it's
more of, do they have a heart posture and a desire to know the Lord?
And are they moving in that forward direction?
That's what you're looking for?
Do you all have the same beliefs about Jesus and those kinds of things?
Like, is he believed that Jesus is the Son of God and came to save and he died on the
cross for our sins, like those type of things, and, and he's walking in that.
And so that is where it's hard to really gauge where this guy is at.
It sounds like it's possible.
It's maybe all he knows.
Right?
Yeah.
And so it's really hard to see where he's going, because again, you'll hear Jackie ladies
say that it's not about where they've been.
It's about where they're going.
And is it in the same direction that you're going?
And you're not always going to know that right off the bat.
And so, you know, I think for you, if he's, if he is willing to come out and see you,
he's, he's okay with taking a risk.
Here's the thing, regardless, if it was the spiritual stuff and the religion and things
of that nature, you know, my husband took a risk.
flying to come see me and we kind of knew we were on the same thing but you
know he was coming for work and the weekend that he was supposed to be here
was the weekend that I had my young my son and I was taking my son to Orlando
to go see for King and country in concert and so when my husband was like
I'm not gonna probably get to see you because you have your son that weekend
without even asking me he went ahead and just broke his trip up into two separate
trips he came the weekend prior stayed left for that following weekend came
back so he was here for a second weekend he took a risk I mean he had two kids
that he was leaving in Texas to come spend time with me and so the men like
allow the man to if he wants to take a risk that's on him you do not have to
hold guilt for that now in the back of your mind are these things going to be
important as you continue to get to know him I think as you move through that
level two relationship that if there is a conversation that you know as you're
moving are you going to continue to go in level two possibly hit level three
and yes you're gonna have to have that conversation of hey I really enjoy
getting to know you I know we talked a little bit about faith and you know I've
shared with you of how it shows up in my life you know I'm I you know you can
just be honest like I'm not sure what that would look like with us moving
forward as again as you're getting to know him like you're not gonna throw all
these dump all these questions in the beginning but it's okay if he takes a
risk to come see you and you guys get to know each other because at some point
before you hit exclusivity with any of you ladies before you ever have an
exclusive level three relationship it's going to be important to have certain
conversations with these guys before saying yes I want to be exclusive with
you because again yes I want to be exclusive and this is what I'm looking
for like those types of conversations will be had and then when you're in
level three you're still deciding is this going to move towards engagement is
that on the same path and ladies I can't tell you how many times women have been
in exclusive level three relationships that they believe that we're gonna move
into an engagement many of the women and men went into Simbis that's another
class or course that we offer when you are in a marriage-minded relationship if
you and that person want to then take a course it's called Simbis it's save your
marriage before it starts I went through it with my husband and we had several
couples in our sessions and by the end of that six weeks I would say more than
half of them split up and decided that they were not marriage like they they
weren't heading towards engagement there were things that came up that were they
realized marriage is not for us so again like you're not always gonna know
right away whether or not it's your forever spirit mate it's it's again it's
that process of going through and learning more about the person so I
don't think there's any harm in him coming to visit you as long as you know
again you're making it very clear of what the what him visiting you is going
to look like it's he's not staying at your house all right you're not on you
know six-hour dates and you know it he needs to realize like if you want to
come out and meet me that you know this is what this is when I can see you this
is when I can meet with you but you're not gonna be you're not gonna be on a
first date for six or eight hours does that help yeah yeah I'm I come from a
background of like hey no missionary dating like I'm trying to not be
respectful of like this person and like enjoy it because I am and he's obviously
like I don't want he's obviously he's very good-looking like all of the things
all of the other boxes but then there's this one thing I'm like do I just the
attachment that comes with that and so yeah that's more but okay yeah no and I
agree ladies we don't want y'all missionary dating and trying to convert
these men yeah you that is not your role okay like you know that's not gonna put
you like you know to go you know change the heart of men through the guys that
you're dating like that's just not like no
You know, there's a whole other lane for, you know, evangelizing and, you know, bringing
people to Jesus and Jesus is not going to have you doing that in your dating.
Okay.
So I totally get that.
But again, I think, you know, just let him come visit, enjoy it, just enjoy having time
getting to know someone again.
You know, it's, it's okay if he's, he's taking that risk and again, you guys can have more
conversation and, you know, as you get to know each other, you can share your heart
and you know, what your desire is when you're in relationship with people and what that
looks like.
And, you know, and see again, cause you guys haven't met in person.
So again, maybe once you have some more conversation about what, you know, your faith looks like
and how it shows up and you went to worship night and you can ask him questions and ask
him, like, you know, I'm curious when I, when I share some of this, like, what are
your thoughts on that?
Like what are your thoughts on worship nights?
Have you ever experienced that?
Like just get his insight.
Cause again, you never know what God was doing in his heart previous and where his religious
background is.
If there was any hurt or trauma in that, we just, we never know.
When you're not coming at the posture to convert him, just wanting to get to know him
and get an idea of where he's at.
And then as you get to know each other, then you guys can decide of whether or not, you
know, if you might have to say, look, like my concern is, you know, we're not on the
same page in our walk of faith and I'm not sure where this, what this would look like
in a romantic relationship.
But again, it's so early on, like having those conversations, they sometimes just don't even
need to be had right away.
Right now.
Okay.
Keep us posted on everything that transpires and again, and pray about it.
You know, if, if, if God does not want him coming, then ask the Lord to shut that door
and you don't have to do anything to make that happen.
Supernaturally God can do whatever it is that he needs to do, but again, he could Holy
Ghost you.
Yeah.
Don't, don't Holy Ghost him.
All right.
We're not Holy Ghosting him.
I will not.
Thanks Carla.
I appreciate it.
You are welcome.
All right, Liz, you're my last one.
How are you?
I'm good Carla.
If you have to go again, I know we go pretty long, but I, I always love to make sure that
I leave space for you ladies.
All right, Liz, how are you?
Thanks Carla.
I'm good.
I have a, I have a thank you, an update and a question.
So my thank you is I just really appreciate like how you guys have been coaching us with
the it's a yes until it's a no thing because there's this guy I'm on day eight with and
initially I wasn't attracted to him.
Initially I was like, I don't know, felt really uncertain about it and at a few junctures
almost kind of like cut it off because I just really felt unsure and it wasn't feeling
that deep connection.
Kind of like you're talking about women.
Sometimes it takes us longer to feel connected.
So I'm like, wow, I just appreciate that wisdom so much.
That's how I made it to date eight and at this juncture I'm just seeing like so many
different things in this guy that I am like, wow, I'm really attracted to him now.
So I am, I do some overseas ministry with a nonprofit that does work in East Africa
and I'm actually leaving on a trip tomorrow for that, a three week trip and, and after
I had a date with this man on Saturday and he knew I was leaving for this trip and had
asked me like, you know, what kind of donations and stuff that we're taking over there.
And then he went around and like collected a whole bunch of donations himself and like
some of his coworkers chipped in.
And so he showed up yesterday, like text me and said, Hey, I'm going to, you know, I can
drop off this thing.
And I was like, oh cool.
And he comes by and he has like, like almost a half suitcase worth of stuff from my list,
you know, that I had just kind of mentioned offhand, not thinking that like, you know,
I just thought he was curious.
I didn't realize he was like really wanting, being really intentional and that kindness
and that server heartedness.
I was like, wow, I'm starting to feel really attracted to this man.
And he's just really kind and consistent.
So yeah, I leave, I leave tomorrow on that trip.
My question is, I'm like watching my internal stuff, right.
And I'm like, okay, yeah.
Wow.
I'm starting to really be into him.
I'm crushing on him and all that.
But up to this point, I felt like pretty chill inside.
Is this the guy that you guys also were like going out, working out and you were like,
not sure.
Yes.
This is the same one.
This is the same man.
He's just taking some time, like he's taking some time.
He's a slow pacer.
He's a very slow pacer.
And he's the one, I don't know if I had mentioned
when I was processing previously,
where he had a bit of a pass.
And I think I'm, it sounds like I'm the first,
like kind of godly woman he's pursuing
since he met the Lord like four years ago.
So, I mean, like, okay, slow makes sense in that context.
Yeah.
And yeah, so inside of myself,
I felt really neutral, really chill.
And then now that the like,
oh, the interest is growing in me,
the crush is growing in me,
now I'm starting to feel like nervous.
I don't know if that makes sense.
Like, I guess, cause you, you know, right?
You like him more.
And so there's more of a thing in me
of like wanting it to work out.
And then I think also more thoughts coming up in me
of like all the other times,
like I've been into someone and it hasn't worked out.
So there's almost this like fear of like,
oh, now I really like him.
And then something's going to happen.
I don't know if that makes sense.
So maybe how to steward my internal world.
Okay, now is the shoe going to drop?
Yeah, yeah.
Like, right.
And remembering other times that it did.
And like, you know, I don't want that to taint my interaction
or to become like, yeah, I don't know.
Well, I mean, obviously you've had eight dates with this guy.
There is a level of comfort with him.
I think it'll be interesting
and good for the two of you to kind of see
these next three weeks that you're gone,
like what transpires.
So do you all have a plan
on how you're going to stay connected?
We don't.
So maybe that's something else I could get input on.
I am leading a team and it is East Africa.
So I won't have connectivity like so much.
But I would envision or want to, you know,
keep chatting with him and I could, yeah.
What do you think?
You have no way of like texting,
like obviously no texting, no phone calls.
I can do it via, like he has iPhone thankfully.
So I can do it via data.
Like I can, I message everywhere that I am.
And then if I'm somewhere with wifi,
then I have the potential to call.
Yeah, I would just have a conversation with him
and just being like, look, I know we've been, you know,
we've had, you know, several dates.
I mean, how, what,
has it been like at least a month or two?
Yeah, we started hanging out the very end of December.
So we're a month and a half in of hanging out.
Month and a half in and just be like,
hey, like I know I'm going to be gone for, you know,
three weeks and, you know, I'm curious on, you know,
how we can continue to stay connected.
Is there, you know, and just being,
just be real with him.
Like, look, I want to continue
to have communication with you.
This is maybe what it's going to look like.
What are your thoughts?
Like get some feedback on what that looks like.
And just, you know, and just express to him like,
look, I want to, I'm going to want to stay connected.
I hope you understand.
I may not have access all the time,
but because we have iPhones,
I should be able to use data here and there.
And just, yeah, and try to stay connected that way.
How often do you guys talk now?
Nowadays, it's, I would say more like every day
or every other day.
It was very slow on wrapping
to that level of communication.
But I, yeah, now like-
It's like every day, every other day.
Okay, so yeah, and just say, you know,
yeah, and just ask him like, you know,
what are your thoughts about us, you know,
communicating while I'm gone?
Like, you know, we've been communicating
like every other day or every day.
Like, I just want you to be aware of what,
what this looks like when I'm over there.
And I'm interested in our communication as is,
are you okay if it's a bit spotty?
And what that looks like.
Okay.
I think it's okay to start having
those conversations with him,
because I think now you're almost two months in,
you know, you start seeing like, you know,
you guys can, at this point, in this stage of level two
is when you're going to start drawing out
some more of those conversations.
And so it'll be interesting to see
while you're gone for those three weeks,
does the interaction continue to stay the same?
Does it grow more?
Is the heart going to grow fonder now that,
you know, you guys aren't able to see each other
in three weeks?
Right.
Or is it going to taper off that when you get back?
I mean, you never know what that looks like.
And so I think having communication
before you go is important.
Okay.
And just engaging on that.
And as far as the nerves, like,
again, you're God defended.
All right.
I think this is even,
even if this doesn't go proceed,
I think there's been growth and learning.
healing in your journey with this guy and, and that's good.
Okay.
But it sounds to me, it sounds like there's a lot of green flags in this.
He is more of a slow get things going, but again, you also understand why that
is, is because of where he's been.
And so I think having consideration and compassion for that is good.
Um, I would just, again, as you guys are growing and getting to know each other,
you know, does he have moments of opening up to you and sharing more personal
things?
Is he, you know, is he focused on future?
Is he got that?
Cause again, we're talking about the three M's masculine, mature, and
is he marriage minded?
Is he going to have conversations like about the future with you?
Is he setting himself up so that that is something he's working towards?
You know, those are, those are good things to keep an eye out.
And then just again, like ladies, I emphasize all the time, keep showing up,
letting us know what's happening in your world and in the posts coming to lives,
you know, letting us know, show up ladies show up.
And I only know I've got a few of you on here now, cause it's, it's, we're,
we're running on almost two hours here again, show up several times a week in
the app, you know, get stay, stay in community with us.
Okay.
All right.
Well, ladies, thank you so much.
It's always such a pleasure to be on.
I just enjoy y'all so much.
So don't forget your activations.
We're doing a 30 day negativity fast.
All right, go listen to supernatural Saturday.
Okay.
That's your first, that's your first test.
Supernatural Saturday negativity fast for 30 days.
And then I want you ladies asking men for help, interacting with them, smile,
make eye contact, ask them how their day is.
Say hello to them.
See what happens and come and share that in the community with us.
All right.
Do come in, do those two minute videos.
All right.
Just briefly let us know what your world is.
Okay.
Again, try to keep it in the two minutes.
All right.
We can't have 20 minute, like little story hours.
Okay.
Two minutes.
Um, just give us a brief of what's going on.
All right.
And, and what you're experiencing.
Okay.
All right, ladies.
Thank you.
I'll see you all later, um, next week.
And if you can jump on the live tonight, I would suggest doing that as well.
Okay.
Thank you, Carla.
All right.
Bye ladies.
Thanks Carla.
Bye.