WEBVTT

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Okay, awesome. Yes, more people are jumping on. I love it. As you jump on, please make

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sure that you've got your cameras on. Welcome. This is phase two, February 11th, 2025. This

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is our live Tuesday check in at one o'clock Eastern. My name is Carla Johnson. So those

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of you that do not know me, I'm going to be one of your coaches here in phase two. And

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so I came into the program at the very, very beginning. So I'm, I'm what we call one of

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the OGs. All right. So I joined when Jackie did a full big launch of her program in 2020

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that started in October. She started a soft launch in March, and then we had this big

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launch that came in and that's when I entered and got into the program. And it took me a

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couple years. And eventually, in God's perfect timing, and my obedience, and me practicing

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and preparing and working this program well, and just following the prompting of Holy Spirit.

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I did get introduced to my husband, late 2022. It's very supernatural. And we just recently

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got married in September of 2023. So we are a full year into marriage. So and that is

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thanks to this program. It's also why I just have such a heart doing this job and being

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here with you ladies and coaching you ladies, because this program did so much for me. And

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it is just an honor and a privilege to be able to give that back to all of you. And

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oftentimes, when I'm sitting here coaching, it actually helps me even in my marriage still. So

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it's just such a beautiful way of how it just full circle. And so it just like I said, it's

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always such a privilege to be here with you ladies. So thank you for being here. All right.

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I can't do what I do if you don't show up. So I really do appreciate you. So just by a show of

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hands, I see we've got two, four, six, eight, nine of us on right now. How many of you are

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brand new to phase two? Most of you before so I don't know if we have anybody that's new. Okay,

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Stephanie, thank you. You'll be on camera shortly. Perfect. Awesome. Okay, so I don't have any newbies

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yet. Okay, well, I do know some more ladies do jump on. So maybe we'll get a newbie here soon.

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All right. So right now we've got nine of you. That's good. All right. So just a couple

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housekeeping things. I'm going to try to keep this as brief as possible. Okay,

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totally understand Melissa. Thank you for letting me know. Just a couple housekeeping things. See,

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we're getting more people on. I love it. I'm gonna try to keep this brief and within like

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the five minutes here. Again, remember to turn your camera on if you can. We just want you to

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practice coming out of hiding. Just reminder to all of you ladies, I know we might have a few new

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ones that just jumped on. But continue to stay engaged in this community and this group. Okay,

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and that's going to be with post. That's going to be you all posting your videos under two minutes

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or less. Okay, so I'm constantly going to give you prompts of things to come on camera. So live

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two minutes, excuse me. And let us get to know you a little bit, you know, share what you're

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experiencing, what's what's going on. Coming to these lives. If you can't come into one week,

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if you can't come, make sure that you're watching it and replays, especially Supernatural Saturday.

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I say this because we see the most breakthrough from those who are actively and consistently and

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intentionally engaging in this community. And I speak it from my own experience in this community.

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All right, I wouldn't have gotten all the breakthroughs I did if I didn't stretch myself

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and push myself to connect with women in the community, and just show up and to communicate

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all the things that I was experiencing, what was happening on my date, what was happening when I

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wasn't on any date, I was showing up and sharing that in the community with my sisters, and my

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coaches. Okay. So just remember, though, when you are creating post, try not to post anything that's

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promoting or linking any other speakers, influencers, pastors, ministries, coaches, we just

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don't have the capacity to vet their library of all of the things that they teach. And we always

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want to make sure that we're coming into alignment.

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with what we teach her at last year single.

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Last thing we want to do is confuse,

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because the enemy will like to do that.

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It helps us keep the confusion and

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the noise out when we can't vet what those things are.

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If you ladies are responding to other women in the community,

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which we actually encourage you-all to do,

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we want you responding to each other,

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we want you encouraging each other and

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celebrating and lifting each other up.

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What we are going to ask is that

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you refrain from coaching and giving advice.

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This is a phase where you're here to receive the coaching.

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Don't feel like you have to put your coaching,

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your therapist hat on,

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your mom hat on for the women in the community.

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Leave that to us coaches,

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myself, Bethany, Ebony.

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Sometimes Jackie might pop in as well.

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Leave that to us.

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You just focus on showing up for yourself,

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letting us know what's going on,

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and being an encourager for the other women in this community.

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But refrain from the advice giving.

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Be sure to also check back on your post

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to see what we've replied or responded to you.

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A lot of times, I know myself and Ebony,

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we will typically prompt you with more questions.

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That's just to get you-all in

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that process of thinking through some of this stuff.

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Go back, follow up.

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If we've responded to you,

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we've asked you questions, reply back to us.

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Then we're doing the same,

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we're trying to go back to see if you've responded to us,

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because we may have more questions or it may give us

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a little bit more information and we can

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give you a little bit more direction.

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Again, if you are dating,

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because again, this phase,

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we understand that some of you ladies aren't going

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to go full force into dating right away,

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and that's totally fine.

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We do want you to understand that there is

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still so much value coming to

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these lives and still getting the information in.

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Even if you're not practicing dating right this moment,

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you will eventually.

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A lot of the things that we teach,

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there are still things that we can do and

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practice even if we are not on live dates just yet.

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But if you are dating,

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please make sure that you are constantly

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coming and sharing us those details.

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This is going to help us coach you to where we can help you

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see what's a yellow flag, what's a red flag.

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What you might think is a yellow flag

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might actually be a green flag.

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It helps us see what's actually happening.

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We can sometimes gauge where you

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might be stuck in a pattern or you might have a blind spot.

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But we can't help you if we don't know all of that information.

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We also coach you ladies about this.

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It's a yes until it's a no.

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Some of you don't even get onto

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an actual real-life date and you're already like,

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this guy's a no.

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Sometimes, yeah, those guys are nos,

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but sometimes they're not.

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Sometimes those are areas where you all might have some heart block.

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There might be some things that you're

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not holding on and not surrendering the pen to.

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If you come and you share with us why you're saying no,

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and if we start seeing patterns,

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then we can help coach you in that area as well.

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Remember, there is no shame and no condemnation here.

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That's not what we're about.

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We are all on a journey and all in a process.

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I can attest and testify myself, ladies,

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I did it wrong often when I was in this group and dating.

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There's probably nothing that you all can do that's going to

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shock me because I probably already did it.

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Again, it's really about true vulnerability and connecting in community,

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which I'm learning is so important in all stages of our lives.

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Lean on this community, come be vulnerable,

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share with us what you're experiencing,

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and we are right here with you to walk alongside you.

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Give me a thumbs up. We're all good?

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I see a few more people jumped in.

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Try to turn your cameras on if you can.

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I know I got a few more people.

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If you are new to phase 2,

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put your avatar hand up.

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I just want to see if I've got a few newbies.

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I don't think I do.

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Hey, Carla.

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Yes, Stephanie.

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I'm not new to phase 2,

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but I haven't ever been able to attend a live call before.

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Just with my schedule and stuff,

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so I'm new.

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This is the first call I've been able.

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To attend, but I watched the videos made it on until good. Yes, I love that. Yes, ladies. Again, we understand that sometimes schedules can get a little wonky. Okay, but

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Yes, Matt said I'm new to your class today because I have a snow day from work. So my first time joining you. I usually hit ebony up on Tuesday night.

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Yes, yes. And that's when I told her to and and she's also a school teacher, so she can't always come to my one o'clock so she can watch the replays, because that's the one that we post, but I even told her tonight. Like, I'm going to try to jump in because it's like I want to see. I want to see everybody

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I usually have a lot of stuff happening with my kids after school. But for, you know, this season, my kid does not have baseball practice on Tuesday nights where he did before. So it's freed me up a little bit. But I did tell her I will, you know, every now and then I will try to pop in. But I'm so glad when you ladies can make it to my one o'clock and the eight o'clock go to both.

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Honestly, like, me and ebony are two different people. We've had two different experiences. And so we both have been in this program for for a while. And so we we can she and I really do compliment each other. And so a lot of times you're going to get some different perspective from her that maybe I didn't experience and vice versa. And it's just we kind of joke that we're just this dynamic duo like we're this just great tag team, you know,

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of just a big ball of fun. So I always encourage you ladies, if you can, if you can make it to both do it. Okay. All right. So let's get moving here. I'm just going to do a quick prayer. I sometimes get so worked up and going and we got so much to cover that sometimes I this, but I do want to do a quick prayer because I do think always really important to invite Holy Spirit. So Heavenly Father, thank you.

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Thank you so much for this time together today, Lord. And I just ask that you, you know, come into this space with us, Lord. Lord, I'm asking that you soften our hearts to what it is that you want us to grow in and the lean more in.

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And, you know, as we, you know, discuss further this divine feminine that you created for all of us to be to step into that we just receive your promise, your word, and that we can fully step into the promise that you have for us.

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And I just thank you again for this time together and bless our session today in your son's name. Amen.

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All right. Okay. So, ladies, great job this week on posting your videos. It's always so good to watch those and get to know you a little better. I think I only saw one video, though, in regards to you ladies being activated and getting comfortable around men.

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So I know before one o'clock, Mackenzie just shared a brief little, you know, 30 seconds of how she stepped into doing that. So if someone wants to unmute besides Mackenzie, because she's already shared, if how they stepped into that and got a little comfortable around men this week, then please go ahead and unmute.

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And I'm going to give you guys 30 seconds to do that.

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Anybody.

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Wait, sorry, what was I wasn't here last week, what was the video supposed to be just presenting the video and so and then I even posted a video and I'm going to try to get better at this as well is I'm going to even post a video to remind you ladies what that activation is.

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So I even posted a video last week and it's pinned to the top of the all tab that we want you ladies getting comfortable around men. And so practicing that this week or last week, and then coming into our community and sharing a quick under two minute video of what your experience was like.

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I don't think it was this Stephanie that's on Stephanie Griffith, but it was another Stephanie or Stacy, I can't remember. She shared about how that how that happened for her this week.

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And so that was really good. And ladies, be be ready to, you know, when women are posting these videos, ladies, watch them. This is your time to be, you know, getting to know the women in this community as well.

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So I've seen a few people like commenting on people's videos, especially the ones that people are doing little introductions about themselves and things that they enjoy doing. And so I'm seeing some interaction there. And that's always really good.

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Now actually, speaking of which,

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I haven't done this in a while.

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I started doing this a couple months ago,

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is that I gave you ladies just a few minutes to

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throw up your contact information in the chat.

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Put your name, where you're from,

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either your phone number or email.

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You don't have to put your name because

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your name is already on there,

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but your contact information.

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Where you're from, what's your email or phone number is,

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and then I want you ladies finding someone in the chat

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that stands out to you,

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and I want you to make contact with them this week.

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Start connecting with the ladies here in community.

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Start building friendships here.

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I can't tell you how many friends I have from this community.

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So many of the women were invited to my wedding,

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came to my wedding, were in my wedding,

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were part of my bridal party.

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I'm still in contact with a lot of them.

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Some of them are married.

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Some of them are still single.

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Some of them are in marriage-minded relationships,

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and I'm still staying in contact,

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and I'm talking about not just women that live close to me,

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but women that don't.

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I mean, I've got one friend that's in Wisconsin,

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and I actually had to fly up to Green Bay this summer

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to pick up my youngest son

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because he was visiting his dad in Michigan,

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in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan,

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and so we stopped in Green Bay.

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That was where the airport that he flew in and flew out of,

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and when I was there,

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she lived 15 minutes away from the airport,

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and so I had like a four or five layover

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before our flight went out

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to take my son back home to Texas,

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and she picked me and my son up.

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My son's dad ended up dropping him off early.

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I was like, look, he doesn't have to be here till later.

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He dropped him off as soon as I arrived at the airport.

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We had like four or five hours to kill,

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and my friend, she's like, I live 15 minutes away.

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Why don't you come over and hang out?

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And we did.

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My son got to meet her older son who's a high schooler

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but also plays baseball,

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so they connected because they talked about baseball,

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and it was just really cool,

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and my son grew up.

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He was five when I joined this community,

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and he was on these calls,

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so what we're doing right here,

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we used to have Jackie as our coach.

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He was in.

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He would come in, and he waved to all the ladies,

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and a lot of the women, they ask about my son,

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like, oh, how is he?

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They're connected to him,

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so this is family.

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This is community,

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and community is so important.

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You ladies are gonna want to be connected

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with people that are in the same season that you're in

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and helping you walk through this process.

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I just coached a lady yesterday one-on-one,

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and she was struggling with that,

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and I was like, look,

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I want you to go find one or two women

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that you can connect with

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because her community that she's in

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is not the right people to be talking to

240
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about the dating and the way that we teach you ladies to date.

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She's like, a lot of my friends aren't really believers,

242
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and I'm like, well, then you need to get hold

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of some friends in this community,

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and you need to start sharing your experiences

245
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with dating with them,

246
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and start aligning yourself with ladies

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that understand this process.

248
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So it's so, so important.

249
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So yeah, so Stephanie,

250
00:18:42.120 --> 00:18:44.480
ooh, wow, things just jumped up everywhere.

251
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I'm going here in the chat.

252
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So yeah, Stephanie told her last two single friends

253
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about last year single,

254
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and they joined and are talking.

255
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That's amazing.

256
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And ladies, I don't know if you know this,

257
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but we have an affiliate link.

258
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So if you go under the resource tab in our community page,

259
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you can set up an affiliate link.

260
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So when you share this with people

261
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and they join the program through your affiliate link,

262
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you get, I think it's like 75 bucks.

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I watched all of that and couldn't figure it out,

264
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and I told my two single guy friends,

265
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and they, I think, are just refusing to join.

266
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Both my other friends at first were like,

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we don't need that.

268
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And I was like, no, you actually do.

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And it's-

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Yeah, and it is, you know, you can just drop,

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again, it's, drop a seed.

272
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And some people might be like,

273
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yeah, I don't know if I need that, all right?

274
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I know, but they do.

275
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It's so good.

276
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And so they, anyway, they did join and they love it,

277
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but yeah, I messed up the affiliate thing,

278
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but yeah, it's pretty great.

279
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It's okay though, it's okay.

280
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Yeah, yeah, well, again, take time,

281
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still look through it.

282
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I will look through it as well.

283
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I know I set up an affiliate link.

284
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as well so i'll go back and see if there's maybe a glitch or something um but it should be

285
00:20:08.880 --> 00:20:13.440
are you if you're doing it on your phone it might be more challenging i i think i had to do mine on

286
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my computer so that i would suggest that ladies anytime you have to do all the link it's going

287
00:20:19.120 --> 00:20:25.600
to be best to probably do it through your computer okay all right so activations for the week so

288
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grab somebody's contact in the chat and once you ladies connecting okay i want you find somebody

289
00:20:32.400 --> 00:20:40.000
to connect connect to okay and then be connecting in the community in the app all right um lift

290
00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:45.040
each other's up okay all right activations for the week i'm kind of going to lean in a little

291
00:20:45.040 --> 00:20:49.840
bit because we didn't get a lot of activity with the activation from last week so i'm going to kind

292
00:20:49.840 --> 00:20:54.720
of extend that for this week and so that's going to continue to stretch yourself with your

293
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interactions with men so this week i want to i really want to see you ladies asking men for help

294
00:21:02.240 --> 00:21:06.880
i want you make you know smiling making eye contact with them while you're out and about

295
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all right some of you it will stretch you especially if you're a boss babe

296
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so like it's okay to ask men for help all right we're gonna we're gonna touch on a little bit

297
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about the divine feminine and the divine masculine today and i'm going to stretch you

298
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ladies even today on on the topics that we're going to discuss all right so this is have an

299
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open mind here okay if some of you're like but i don't want to interact with men time to stretch

300
00:21:40.320 --> 00:21:47.680
you okay sometimes it's just a smile it's a hello it's a soft hi how are you again this doesn't have

301
00:21:47.680 --> 00:21:53.120
to be men that you want to go on a date with i mean if you're out and about the grocery store

302
00:21:53.120 --> 00:21:59.520
and you see you know a younger guy or an older gentleman just say hi ask him to grab something

303
00:21:59.520 --> 00:22:05.760
off the shelf for you i was telling the ladies earlier um that were on a little earlier a few

304
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minutes earlier that i'm sure i'm five three you know and i'll sit there and i will scale

305
00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:18.640
a grocery shelf to get what it is that i need but that's one it's not safe

306
00:22:20.400 --> 00:22:25.600
and two if there's a guy like i might as well say hey can you help me out here you know i

307
00:22:25.600 --> 00:22:29.520
might get a good laugh maybe maybe he'll fall on his face or something like that i don't know

308
00:22:30.080 --> 00:22:36.880
you know but i i would definitely um stretch yourself this week and and come in the community

309
00:22:36.880 --> 00:22:42.720
and share with us your experience i would love to see y'all start getting some live videos in

310
00:22:42.720 --> 00:22:49.040
okay i've seen a lot of you do it and it's great two minutes or less just a brief hop in all right

311
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i did the activation this is what happened all right that's all that's all we're asking

312
00:22:54.800 --> 00:22:59.280
now the next one this one is going to stretch you all as well so write this one down

313
00:23:00.160 --> 00:23:04.240
now first of all how many of you caught supernatural saturday this saturday

314
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raise your hand one two three four okay i think about half of you all right some of you ladies

315
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your assignment is to go watch supernatural saturday you guys have got to start putting

316
00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:22.240
that on your schedules of to do along with the videos that we we have in here start watching

317
00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:27.760
supernatural saturday if you can't make it live all right that's what i did i was in the car

318
00:23:27.760 --> 00:23:33.920
like on the way to pick up my kids and i put it on i'm sitting car line listen to jackie supernatural

319
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saturday all right because this is going to piggyback this activation is going to piggyback

320
00:23:38.960 --> 00:23:46.080
on what she talked about it's about just disciplining our thoughts all right it's

321
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think about what you're thinking about so what we're gonna do is you ladies are gonna fast

322
00:23:54.880 --> 00:23:56.320
negativity for 30 days

323
00:23:59.200 --> 00:24:02.400
you're going to start practicing about what you're thinking about what are your thoughts

324
00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:08.160
are they negative if they're negative you're fasting them you're going to hold those captive

325
00:24:08.160 --> 00:24:12.800
and you're going to cast those out so definitely listen to supernatural saturday if you have not

326
00:24:13.840 --> 00:24:19.920
because i think that's going to help you get a clearer mindset of why we're doing this

327
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but in this this negativity fast for 30 days i want you ladies to be praying and asking the lord

328
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to help you grow in the fruits of the spirit but to specifically ask which fruit he wants you to

329
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focus on growing the most in these next few weeks so the fruits of the spirit galatians 5 22 through

330
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23 love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness self-control

331
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okay

332
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:06.000
What does he want you to grow in these next couple weeks?

333
00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:10.520
Okay. So those are your activations.

334
00:25:10.520 --> 00:25:13.360
All right. I'm a little behind my time here.

335
00:25:13.360 --> 00:25:15.440
So I want to get, get to it.

336
00:25:15.440 --> 00:25:16.920
Do I still have everybody with me?

337
00:25:16.920 --> 00:25:20.000
Is everybody good? We got our assignments,

338
00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:21.880
we got our activations.

339
00:25:21.880 --> 00:25:25.440
Is anybody like, raise your hand and just be honest with me.

340
00:25:25.440 --> 00:25:26.640
If some of you are like, I don't,

341
00:25:26.640 --> 00:25:29.400
I don't know if I'm going to like these activations.

342
00:25:30.760 --> 00:25:32.880
Okay. Liz has got a heart.

343
00:25:32.880 --> 00:25:36.320
I'm hoping that's saying that she loves these activations.

344
00:25:36.320 --> 00:25:38.880
All right. So I have, I have no one.

345
00:25:38.880 --> 00:25:41.080
Okay, good. Melissa loves these activations too.

346
00:25:41.080 --> 00:25:42.720
Okay. So I didn't like,

347
00:25:42.720 --> 00:25:45.600
I'm not like taking anybody off.

348
00:25:45.600 --> 00:25:48.160
That's good. That's good.

349
00:25:48.160 --> 00:25:50.040
Sometimes I know, sometimes I know,

350
00:25:50.040 --> 00:25:50.920
because here's the thing, ladies,

351
00:25:50.920 --> 00:25:53.080
sometimes I know I offend some of you.

352
00:25:53.080 --> 00:25:55.920
Jackie used to offend me at times.

353
00:25:55.920 --> 00:25:57.880
But like Jackie says,

354
00:25:57.920 --> 00:26:00.560
when we have an offense, it's typically a heart issue

355
00:26:00.560 --> 00:26:03.720
and that's just an opportunity to really heal.

356
00:26:03.720 --> 00:26:04.560
All right.

357
00:26:04.560 --> 00:26:07.480
So I know there's times I do, I do offend you ladies.

358
00:26:07.480 --> 00:26:11.720
And I do it in the kindest and most loving way, I hope.

359
00:26:12.760 --> 00:26:14.480
And, and it's okay if you,

360
00:26:14.480 --> 00:26:17.200
if you get offended by anything that I do or say,

361
00:26:17.200 --> 00:26:19.480
but I always, I always,

362
00:26:19.480 --> 00:26:21.240
I always like to see like who,

363
00:26:21.240 --> 00:26:23.160
who's going to not like me this week.

364
00:26:24.280 --> 00:26:27.040
So I'm glad to know that you all are like ready

365
00:26:27.040 --> 00:26:28.200
for this activation.

366
00:26:28.200 --> 00:26:29.440
It's going to be good.

367
00:26:29.440 --> 00:26:31.560
Okay. So if I didn't offend you with that,

368
00:26:31.560 --> 00:26:33.520
I might offend you with this next one.

369
00:26:33.520 --> 00:26:34.920
Okay. This is not an activation.

370
00:26:34.920 --> 00:26:36.760
This is just going to go with our teaching.

371
00:26:36.760 --> 00:26:38.160
Okay.

372
00:26:38.160 --> 00:26:40.360
So I'm going to ask you some tough questions.

373
00:26:40.360 --> 00:26:42.800
Okay. So I want us just to go ahead and boom.

374
00:26:42.800 --> 00:26:43.640
All right.

375
00:26:44.520 --> 00:26:46.240
And I want honest answers.

376
00:26:46.240 --> 00:26:47.360
I want vulnerability here.

377
00:26:47.360 --> 00:26:48.200
Okay.

378
00:26:49.320 --> 00:26:50.440
So I want,

379
00:26:50.440 --> 00:26:52.520
because I believe these tough questions are going to help

380
00:26:52.520 --> 00:26:54.720
bring clarity and breakthrough for us.

381
00:26:54.720 --> 00:26:57.280
So I want you to think to yourself,

382
00:26:57.280 --> 00:26:59.920
what is your first response?

383
00:26:59.920 --> 00:27:01.960
When you think about men,

384
00:27:02.880 --> 00:27:05.240
what do you believe about men?

385
00:27:05.240 --> 00:27:08.360
And once you start putting that up in the chat,

386
00:27:08.360 --> 00:27:10.520
what is your first initial,

387
00:27:10.520 --> 00:27:11.840
when you think about men,

388
00:27:11.840 --> 00:27:14.040
what, what do you think about them?

389
00:27:17.480 --> 00:27:19.840
Once you put those things in the chat

390
00:27:19.840 --> 00:27:21.640
and be honest ladies.

391
00:27:21.640 --> 00:27:22.480
Cause I think we,

392
00:27:22.480 --> 00:27:23.760
I think we're going to have some,

393
00:27:23.760 --> 00:27:25.320
some great breakthrough here.

394
00:27:27.120 --> 00:27:27.960
All right. This is good.

395
00:27:27.960 --> 00:27:29.240
They're protectors.

396
00:27:29.240 --> 00:27:30.080
We need them.

397
00:27:30.080 --> 00:27:31.560
Strength, leadership, love.

398
00:27:31.560 --> 00:27:32.720
Good.

399
00:27:32.720 --> 00:27:34.360
They're amazing creation of God.

400
00:27:34.360 --> 00:27:35.440
That's good.

401
00:27:35.440 --> 00:27:36.280
Okay.

402
00:27:37.920 --> 00:27:39.720
I want some of you to be honest.

403
00:27:39.720 --> 00:27:41.800
How many of you

404
00:27:41.800 --> 00:27:44.920
sometimes have a negative thought about men?

405
00:27:44.920 --> 00:27:47.920
I know I just told you all to stop the negativity, right?

406
00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:49.080
But this one,

407
00:27:49.080 --> 00:27:50.840
is there anybody

408
00:27:50.840 --> 00:27:52.640
that really

409
00:27:52.640 --> 00:27:54.320
has a thought

410
00:27:56.200 --> 00:27:57.960
that some of the men are not great?

411
00:28:03.360 --> 00:28:04.920
But yeah,

412
00:28:04.920 --> 00:28:06.720
but finding a good man,

413
00:28:06.720 --> 00:28:07.560
you're struggling with.

414
00:28:07.560 --> 00:28:09.600
So men are great,

415
00:28:09.600 --> 00:28:11.360
but you're struggling to find a good man.

416
00:28:11.360 --> 00:28:12.280
So again, are we,

417
00:28:12.280 --> 00:28:15.040
are we believing that men are good?

418
00:28:19.520 --> 00:28:21.240
And again, I love that.

419
00:28:21.240 --> 00:28:23.360
It's hard to find a healed man.

420
00:28:23.360 --> 00:28:24.640
Ladies, that's good.

421
00:28:25.560 --> 00:28:27.240
Guess what?

422
00:28:27.240 --> 00:28:28.760
A lot of us aren't healed.

423
00:28:30.720 --> 00:28:31.560
So yeah,

424
00:28:31.560 --> 00:28:32.400
there's going to be men

425
00:28:32.400 --> 00:28:33.760
that we're going to come in contact with

426
00:28:33.760 --> 00:28:34.720
that they're going to,

427
00:28:34.720 --> 00:28:36.480
they're going to need healing too.

428
00:28:36.480 --> 00:28:38.800
Like ladies, I'll be honest with you.

429
00:28:38.800 --> 00:28:41.000
I have an amazing husband.

430
00:28:41.000 --> 00:28:42.080
Amazing.

431
00:28:42.960 --> 00:28:45.080
But he has areas that he needs healed too.

432
00:28:46.560 --> 00:28:47.600
And ladies, let me tell you,

433
00:28:48.200 --> 00:28:50.360
sometimes it's in that relationship,

434
00:28:50.360 --> 00:28:51.520
we get healed.

435
00:28:52.440 --> 00:28:54.360
So if we're sitting here

436
00:28:54.360 --> 00:28:56.160
and we think that we're going to walk

437
00:28:56.160 --> 00:28:58.480
into these dating experiences,

438
00:28:58.480 --> 00:29:01.080
finding these super healed,

439
00:29:01.080 --> 00:29:02.560
divine masculine men

440
00:29:02.560 --> 00:29:05.720
that aren't going to be flawed in some way

441
00:29:05.720 --> 00:29:07.320
or have certain faults,

442
00:29:08.320 --> 00:29:09.880
we're fooling ourselves.

443
00:29:13.800 --> 00:29:15.440
I was even pondering,

444
00:29:15.440 --> 00:29:17.840
wondering if there's any women

445
00:29:17.840 --> 00:29:19.400
in our phase right now,

446
00:29:19.400 --> 00:29:21.480
and I'm not saying any women right here

447
00:29:21.480 --> 00:29:23.400
that I'm coaching right here

448
00:29:23.400 --> 00:29:24.560
that are live,

449
00:29:24.560 --> 00:29:26.480
but I'm even speaking to the women

450
00:29:26.480 --> 00:29:29.080
that are going to watch this in replay.

451
00:29:29.080 --> 00:29:29.920
Ask yourself,

452
00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:32.000
do you actually like men?

453
00:29:33.280 --> 00:29:34.760
Because I think there's some women

454
00:29:34.760 --> 00:29:36.360
in our community

455
00:29:36.360 --> 00:29:37.400
that are struggling

456
00:29:37.400 --> 00:29:38.920
with even liking men.

457
00:29:40.760 --> 00:29:41.600
And we all know

458
00:29:41.600 --> 00:29:44.040
that y'all want spirit mates,

459
00:29:44.080 --> 00:29:46.160
but do you actually have a kindness

460
00:29:46.160 --> 00:29:47.080
in your heart,

461
00:29:47.080 --> 00:29:47.920
in your mind,

462
00:29:47.920 --> 00:29:49.800
in your spirit towards them?

463
00:29:51.160 --> 00:29:52.160
And that's something that we need

464
00:29:52.160 --> 00:29:53.440
to ask ourselves.

465
00:29:55.480 --> 00:29:56.440
Okay, so again,

466
00:29:56.440 --> 00:29:57.280
I know some of you,

467
00:29:57.280 --> 00:29:59.080
this is going to be like,

468
00:29:59.080 --> 00:30:00.000
I don't like this.

469
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.840
It'll stretch you. It's gonna like I don't like being called out

470
00:30:04.160 --> 00:30:08.560
But I really want you ladies to stop and really think about that

471
00:30:08.560 --> 00:30:14.600
especially when you're interacting with with some of these guys that you're going on dates with and you're finding that they're not good or

472
00:30:14.760 --> 00:30:16.680
They're not healed

473
00:30:16.680 --> 00:30:19.760
Or maybe they just do the wrong things

474
00:30:20.760 --> 00:30:23.260
You know, what is our heart posture?

475
00:30:23.960 --> 00:30:25.960
with them

476
00:30:25.960 --> 00:30:32.000
You know in the divine feminine video if you haven't watched it Jackie really walks through

477
00:30:33.040 --> 00:30:34.400
what

478
00:30:34.400 --> 00:30:39.640
characteristics the divine feminine has she also talks about what it isn't and

479
00:30:40.200 --> 00:30:43.560
There there's a dark toxic feminine as well

480
00:30:44.280 --> 00:30:52.320
Even okay, there's times I sometimes step into this like toxic feminine even in my marriage and I have to be like

481
00:30:53.160 --> 00:30:59.740
Really keen and and when I see it, I have to check myself and say how am I responding to my husband right now?

482
00:31:00.360 --> 00:31:03.640
Am I responding in my divine or my spot?

483
00:31:03.920 --> 00:31:07.840
Responding out of some other areas that I still need healing and growth in

484
00:31:09.000 --> 00:31:11.000
You know

485
00:31:14.120 --> 00:31:18.520
Because many of us are right many of us right now as we're learning we're learn

486
00:31:19.160 --> 00:31:23.320
When we're watching like the divine feminine and we're going through this teaching we

487
00:31:23.680 --> 00:31:27.440
Ourselves are learning how to step in and practice more of our divine feminine

488
00:31:27.440 --> 00:31:32.360
Is it possible that some of these men are experiencing the same thing?

489
00:31:37.600 --> 00:31:41.800
Is it possible that some of these men are not showing up in the divine masculine

490
00:31:42.120 --> 00:31:45.880
The same way that maybe we're not always showing up in our divine feminine

491
00:31:48.520 --> 00:31:50.520
These are things to think about

492
00:31:50.920 --> 00:31:54.240
okay, and I say this ladies because

493
00:31:54.920 --> 00:31:59.080
We have to allow some space for grace

494
00:32:00.760 --> 00:32:02.760
It's so important

495
00:32:03.520 --> 00:32:11.080
It's so important in this dating process to allow space to give grace to a lot of these men

496
00:32:11.680 --> 00:32:13.680
Because

497
00:32:13.680 --> 00:32:18.840
Ladies, I'm gonna give you a little eye-opener and some of you women that have been married before it will understand this

498
00:32:19.880 --> 00:32:21.880
You're gonna have give grace to your husbands

499
00:32:27.160 --> 00:32:30.280
I've been married now a little over a year and

500
00:32:31.600 --> 00:32:34.560
My husband needs grace. I need grace

501
00:32:35.400 --> 00:32:37.000
my husband

502
00:32:37.000 --> 00:32:38.840
grew up

503
00:32:39.360 --> 00:32:42.960
With a mother that was very rigid

504
00:32:44.760 --> 00:32:46.760
Religious legalistic

505
00:32:48.760 --> 00:32:50.360
Critical

506
00:32:50.360 --> 00:32:52.120
judgmental

507
00:32:52.120 --> 00:32:53.560
not very

508
00:32:53.560 --> 00:32:55.560
warm and loving

509
00:32:55.560 --> 00:33:00.600
She doesn't even really show up like that now like even me interacting with my mother-in-law

510
00:33:01.120 --> 00:33:04.360
It doesn't feel soft and warm and fuzzy

511
00:33:05.160 --> 00:33:10.760
Okay, so he grew up in that then my husband was married for 11 years

512
00:33:12.040 --> 00:33:18.200
In a very toxic marriage his late wife suffered from borderline personality disorder

513
00:33:20.160 --> 00:33:22.160
She passed from cancer

514
00:33:22.800 --> 00:33:26.640
There was a lot of just unhealthy things that showed up in their marriage

515
00:33:27.320 --> 00:33:29.320
He never felt safe

516
00:33:29.880 --> 00:33:33.280
He never felt he was emotionally safe in his marriage

517
00:33:33.800 --> 00:33:38.040
that nothing that he could do was ever going to be good enough for her and

518
00:33:40.560 --> 00:33:44.680
Now when I'm in marriage with my husband I see that at times

519
00:33:45.720 --> 00:33:50.280
Where he struggles with opening up to me emotionally because he's never

520
00:33:51.000 --> 00:33:54.280
Experienced that because there is healing that he has to work through

521
00:33:54.840 --> 00:34:01.920
But I have to give him a lot of grace because that's a scary thing for him. He's not fully ready to like

522
00:34:03.360 --> 00:34:10.719
Acknowledge all of the healing that probably needs to take place that I have to give grace and space for and know that

523
00:34:11.679 --> 00:34:16.880
My husband has a relationship with the Lord and the Lord is working on his heart

524
00:34:17.440 --> 00:34:21.760
but he can't work on his heart if I'm constantly rigid and

525
00:34:22.760 --> 00:34:27.840
Controlling myself and critical of my husband and if I'm not stepping in my divine feminine

526
00:34:31.000 --> 00:34:33.000
Grace has to be given

527
00:34:33.360 --> 00:34:39.360
Now ladies what I don't want you to hear and I don't need y'all arguing with me because I know some of you will

528
00:34:40.280 --> 00:34:42.280
but when the guys are

529
00:34:43.280 --> 00:34:45.199
inappropriate and

530
00:34:45.199 --> 00:34:47.199
They have all these things

531
00:34:47.400 --> 00:34:52.199
Ladies I'm not saying give grace to a guy that is sitting here being you know

532
00:34:52.719 --> 00:34:59.520
Demeaning to you and having sexual conversation with you and being completely foul and inappropriate

533
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.160
No, ladies, don't give grace to that.

534
00:35:03.360 --> 00:35:04.920
That's a blessing block.

535
00:35:04.920 --> 00:35:07.480
And you come into this community and you share with us

536
00:35:07.840 --> 00:35:10.720
what these gentlemen know that are not gentlemen,

537
00:35:10.720 --> 00:35:13.560
what these men are saying, what these boys are saying.

538
00:35:13.560 --> 00:35:17.360
OK, some of them are boys if they're being inappropriate.

539
00:35:17.760 --> 00:35:21.800
But what what what are the interactions that men are having with you?

540
00:35:21.800 --> 00:35:22.680
What are they saying?

541
00:35:22.680 --> 00:35:24.120
How are they talking to you?

542
00:35:24.120 --> 00:35:26.800
How are you perceiving it? OK.

543
00:35:26.800 --> 00:35:32.960
Because I'm not saying don't don't give those guys a shot,

544
00:35:32.960 --> 00:35:37.120
like if he is being completely inappropriate, then yeah, let us know.

545
00:35:37.680 --> 00:35:39.440
OK, we understand that.

546
00:35:39.440 --> 00:35:44.400
But some of y'all are like putting the X up on these guys

547
00:35:44.400 --> 00:35:48.600
just because they didn't do something that you think that they needed to do

548
00:35:48.600 --> 00:35:51.560
that showed that they were masculine.

549
00:35:51.560 --> 00:35:53.680
Well, no, you got to give grace.

550
00:35:53.680 --> 00:35:59.080
Some of these guys need to learn how to step into that.

551
00:36:01.880 --> 00:36:03.920
All right, I'm going to go in the chat here real quick

552
00:36:03.920 --> 00:36:06.800
because I see a lot of you messaging, OK?

553
00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:10.400
So, Melissa, that is a question that's coming up for me.

554
00:36:10.400 --> 00:36:12.480
How do we discern the difference between an area

555
00:36:12.760 --> 00:36:16.000
where we need to give a guy grace versus yellow or red flag?

556
00:36:16.320 --> 00:36:18.400
I mean, these can all show up in different things.

557
00:36:18.400 --> 00:36:22.560
So I don't know, Melissa, what you're going to see as a yellow or red flag.

558
00:36:22.840 --> 00:36:25.880
That's why, again, I emphasize it's so important for you ladies

559
00:36:25.880 --> 00:36:26.920
to show up in community.

560
00:36:28.160 --> 00:36:31.000
Let us know what's happening, OK?

561
00:36:31.640 --> 00:36:32.760
What's coming up?

562
00:36:32.760 --> 00:36:34.560
What do you think is a yellow flag?

563
00:36:34.560 --> 00:36:36.960
If you think something's a yellow flag, come share it with us.

564
00:36:37.720 --> 00:36:42.440
Ebony and myself and Bethany will let you know for like, OK, we can see this.

565
00:36:42.440 --> 00:36:44.400
This might be like a proceed with caution.

566
00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:48.280
OK, it might be a how about you give grace with this guy?

567
00:36:48.760 --> 00:36:51.440
I will also preface that sometimes

568
00:36:52.880 --> 00:36:57.600
just getting just to the first and second dates is helpful.

569
00:36:58.480 --> 00:37:01.600
I think sometimes we want to just throw up all the flags

570
00:37:01.600 --> 00:37:06.680
before we even get out and see the guy in real life and in person.

571
00:37:08.400 --> 00:37:10.720
And that's totally fine if you blow up this feed.

572
00:37:10.720 --> 00:37:12.280
Absolutely. I want to see it.

573
00:37:12.280 --> 00:37:13.240
You know what, ladies?

574
00:37:13.240 --> 00:37:16.000
I have to just praise you all and just

575
00:37:16.920 --> 00:37:20.920
just share my gratitude, because this is the first time

576
00:37:20.920 --> 00:37:22.800
and a really long time now.

577
00:37:22.800 --> 00:37:26.080
Mind you, I've been doing this for over a year in this phase.

578
00:37:27.120 --> 00:37:30.600
That I have really seen a lot of you women showing up more frequently.

579
00:37:32.120 --> 00:37:34.320
And that I know that's hard.

580
00:37:34.320 --> 00:37:38.680
And so I'm thankful that you all are blowing up the feed, OK?

581
00:37:39.760 --> 00:37:42.160
I mean, that's why me and Ebony are a team, OK?

582
00:37:42.160 --> 00:37:44.920
Because sometimes if I can't be in, then I know she's covering

583
00:37:45.240 --> 00:37:47.560
that covering it and she's answering, OK?

584
00:37:48.000 --> 00:37:53.560
Like it is our heart to come and serve you and help you in these areas.

585
00:37:54.320 --> 00:37:57.400
OK, so don't don't ever feel like you're blowing up the feed.

586
00:37:58.200 --> 00:38:00.880
All right. If you truly have questions like we're here.

587
00:38:01.200 --> 00:38:03.920
And that's why I also tell you all to come here, because here in a moment,

588
00:38:03.920 --> 00:38:07.400
I'm going to give you all the opportunity to ask your questions

589
00:38:07.400 --> 00:38:09.760
and get more more help with coaching.

590
00:38:10.520 --> 00:38:12.000
OK, so I'm going here.

591
00:38:12.000 --> 00:38:15.280
Alessandra, she says, I find that I'm not attracted to most Christian men

592
00:38:15.280 --> 00:38:18.760
and the ones who I'm attracted to seem emotionally unavailable

593
00:38:18.760 --> 00:38:20.440
or looking for a model.

594
00:38:20.440 --> 00:38:25.080
OK, so again, like that's what we have to we're going to we can dive into

595
00:38:25.400 --> 00:38:26.680
when you say you're not attracted.

596
00:38:26.680 --> 00:38:28.920
So what this is a better question.

597
00:38:29.160 --> 00:38:31.800
What do you find attractive in men?

598
00:38:32.120 --> 00:38:35.760
OK, and so what's coming up for me right now to share to you all,

599
00:38:35.760 --> 00:38:39.000
because this is something I had to learn, is.

600
00:38:39.960 --> 00:38:42.200
What do we find attractive?

601
00:38:42.200 --> 00:38:46.800
And so oftentimes it will take this is why we talk about discovery dating.

602
00:38:47.320 --> 00:38:49.920
Just get out on the dates.

603
00:38:49.920 --> 00:38:51.000
Find what you like.

604
00:38:51.000 --> 00:38:52.800
Find what you don't like.

605
00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:54.200
Share it with us in the community.

606
00:38:54.200 --> 00:38:55.480
This is what I don't really like.

607
00:38:55.480 --> 00:38:57.360
This is what I do like.

608
00:38:57.360 --> 00:39:02.760
OK, if we start seeing a a pattern of you not liking certain things.

609
00:39:03.880 --> 00:39:06.360
We might ask you, you know,

610
00:39:06.880 --> 00:39:09.160
are you surrendering the pen here?

611
00:39:09.280 --> 00:39:11.200
Like some of you might need to visit.

612
00:39:11.200 --> 00:39:13.440
What are your never will I evers?

613
00:39:13.920 --> 00:39:16.840
Are they really non-negotiables from heaven or are they

614
00:39:17.320 --> 00:39:19.560
are they blockage? Like, is it a block?

615
00:39:19.960 --> 00:39:22.800
So again, I would ask, like, what do you find attractive?

616
00:39:23.240 --> 00:39:28.000
I was given a task many years ago, and this was so eye opening to me.

617
00:39:28.560 --> 00:39:31.760
I had someone tell me and give me this assignment

618
00:39:32.440 --> 00:39:35.240
to any person that I interacted with.

619
00:39:35.640 --> 00:39:38.240
Find something that I was attracted.

620
00:39:39.480 --> 00:39:41.600
Two in them.

621
00:39:41.600 --> 00:39:44.560
And so and I was and they were like, well, like men,

622
00:39:44.560 --> 00:39:46.600
and they were like, no, everyone.

623
00:39:46.600 --> 00:39:48.000
So I was a schoolteacher at the time.

624
00:39:48.000 --> 00:39:50.560
They're like, find something attractive about, you know,

625
00:39:50.560 --> 00:39:52.360
some of the students that you have.

626
00:39:52.360 --> 00:39:55.560
And it wasn't from like a perverse thing. It was.

627
00:39:56.480 --> 00:40:00.000
It was a way for me to start seeing character.

628
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:10.040
and heart. Wow, this kid has such a kindness about him. He is, you know,

629
00:40:10.040 --> 00:40:16.080
helping all these other kids that, you know, are struggling. Wow, what a kind

630
00:40:16.080 --> 00:40:24.000
heart. That's really attractive. Kindness that someone has. You know, maybe it's,

631
00:40:24.000 --> 00:40:28.320
you know, someone like, wow, that person has a really awesome servant's heart.

632
00:40:28.320 --> 00:40:33.640
Ladies, that is something that I learned I was super attracted in when it came to

633
00:40:33.640 --> 00:40:40.880
men. I wanted to marry a man that had a servant's heart, that was willing to

634
00:40:40.880 --> 00:40:47.120
sacrifice things for him, like in himself, to give to others, but had healthy

635
00:40:47.120 --> 00:40:53.360
balance with it. So again, it's what do we find attractive? Are we just like, and

636
00:40:53.360 --> 00:40:57.080
again, I know some of you ladies are, you know, I'm not always talking about, like,

637
00:40:57.080 --> 00:41:03.000
we're talking about the heart here. That is where the attraction of having solid

638
00:41:03.000 --> 00:41:10.720
heart attraction, that's where the foundation is, and that's what you'll

639
00:41:10.720 --> 00:41:16.720
hear Jackie, myself, Bethany, Ebony, you'll have so many of us coaches share that in

640
00:41:16.720 --> 00:41:19.520
this community, because remind you, I've been here almost five years in this

641
00:41:19.520 --> 00:41:27.040
community. I've seen all the love stories happen, and I know personally some of

642
00:41:27.040 --> 00:41:32.920
the women that when they started dating a certain gentleman or guy, they didn't

643
00:41:32.920 --> 00:41:37.080
find them physically attracted, but they found other things that they were

644
00:41:37.080 --> 00:41:40.280
attracted to that that physical attraction grew, and now they're married

645
00:41:40.280 --> 00:41:45.240
to those men. I even share this, my husband, I was not physically attracted

646
00:41:45.240 --> 00:41:49.720
to right away. I saw pictures of him, and I'm like, yeah, he's okay. It's not like a

647
00:41:49.720 --> 00:41:53.240
hunk. I wouldn't like see him on the street, be like, I want to get to know him,

648
00:41:53.240 --> 00:42:01.560
you know. He wasn't, like, but I will tell you, like, after a couple dates and, like,

649
00:42:01.560 --> 00:42:07.920
interacting with him and seeing his heart and how he just really protected

650
00:42:07.920 --> 00:42:16.400
and cared for me, I was like, dang, this is hot. Like, this guy is so protective

651
00:42:16.400 --> 00:42:22.040
and is concerned about my boundaries. He's respectful of my boundaries, and

652
00:42:22.040 --> 00:42:29.120
ladies, that was like, oh, I was like, this guy is so good-looking, like, and now, like, I

653
00:42:29.120 --> 00:42:37.960
like, look at my husband, I'm like, dang, he's good-looking, you know, and, like, so

654
00:42:37.960 --> 00:42:43.440
that stuff, that stuff will come, okay. Like, we have to be open getting

655
00:42:43.440 --> 00:42:47.800
ourselves on these first and second dates, okay. Now, obviously, if there are

656
00:42:47.800 --> 00:42:54.280
red flags, we're gonna tell you this is a red flag. No, don't proceed, okay, but

657
00:42:54.280 --> 00:42:58.920
that's why it's important for you ladies to be coming into our community and

658
00:42:58.920 --> 00:43:03.160
sharing what's going on. So, Mackenzie says, some of the men

659
00:43:03.160 --> 00:43:07.000
around me are very needy and socially awkward, and it's hard to interact with

660
00:43:07.000 --> 00:43:13.240
them all the time. Yeah, I get it. Yep, but again, it's having some grace for

661
00:43:13.240 --> 00:43:21.000
them, you know, we don't know what some of these men have experienced, you know,

662
00:43:21.000 --> 00:43:26.280
like, and I truly believe, and I wasn't even gonna, like, this is just, you know, my

663
00:43:26.280 --> 00:43:32.000
honest opinion. I think the masculine is under attack in our society. I think it's

664
00:43:32.000 --> 00:43:37.360
been under attack for a really long time, and ladies, it's not gonna be helpful to

665
00:43:37.360 --> 00:43:45.240
the kingdom if we're not helping give grace to some of these men and helping

666
00:43:45.240 --> 00:43:52.320
them, you know, by giving them space to grow into their masculinity, okay. It's

667
00:43:52.320 --> 00:43:57.800
not gonna be us that forces them to be masculine, but we can keep them from

668
00:43:57.800 --> 00:44:02.120
stepping into their masculine if we're constantly being rigid and not stepping

669
00:44:02.160 --> 00:44:08.000
in our divine, okay, and we're trying to take over the role of the masculine. We

670
00:44:08.000 --> 00:44:16.920
don't want to do that, okay. Stephanie, okay, you said you think it's the ego

671
00:44:16.920 --> 00:44:20.640
thing that's hard for you at times, feels like I have to be super careful with a

672
00:44:20.640 --> 00:44:27.360
couple of men I know because they are very easily offended. Yeah, so, I mean,

673
00:44:27.360 --> 00:44:31.360
again, these are some things that we can kind of talk about, all right, and these

674
00:44:31.360 --> 00:44:34.760
are things, ladies, I want you coming into the community, I want you sharing

675
00:44:34.760 --> 00:44:40.000
what you're experiencing on these dates, and we will help coach you through that,

676
00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:45.280
okay, but I'm sharing all of this today because I really think we need to be

677
00:44:45.280 --> 00:44:52.960
focused on what is our heart posture towards men. Do we have a heart posture

678
00:44:52.960 --> 00:44:59.880
that's entitled? A man has to do X, Y, Z or he doesn't get our

679
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:08.800
good graces. We don't want to have an entitled heart. We want to have a softer heart posture,

680
00:45:08.800 --> 00:45:13.680
and again, that goes to the divine feminine, and going back and watching that video,

681
00:45:13.680 --> 00:45:20.320
what that looks like. I just want to make sure I've covered everything here.

682
00:45:24.000 --> 00:45:28.720
It's really important to learn and understand that men are and can be chivalrous.

683
00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:41.440
God brought a lot of men in my walk, in my dating, in this program to show me that there are men

684
00:45:41.440 --> 00:45:51.760
that are willing to open a door for me, to pay the bill, to treat me in a way that was honoring,

685
00:45:52.720 --> 00:46:00.480
to be kind and considerate of what my needs were, to ask for my insight before they planned a date.

686
00:46:01.440 --> 00:46:05.520
They were being considerate of me. That's actually, again, one thing that

687
00:46:06.400 --> 00:46:14.240
really attracted me to my husband. He was constantly posturing his heart

688
00:46:15.200 --> 00:46:20.000
in a way that he wanted to know that I felt comfortable.

689
00:46:25.600 --> 00:46:30.560
But just because men don't maybe show chivalry right away, it doesn't mean that they can't,

690
00:46:31.200 --> 00:46:36.640
that they can't learn. It's holding that space for them so that if they don't do it the right

691
00:46:36.640 --> 00:46:42.720
way, that we give them an opportunity that they can. I think,

692
00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:54.720
Alessandra, it might have been you. You had that situation with somebody

693
00:46:55.440 --> 00:47:04.720
where they, the splitting the bill thing, right? Yes. Eternal debate on whether the girl should

694
00:47:04.720 --> 00:47:11.200
offer, whether the girl should not offer, if the guy accepts the offer. For me, that's a big

695
00:47:11.200 --> 00:47:20.640
turnoff. If the guy proposes dinner, so this guy proposed dinner, and then I offered because

696
00:47:20.640 --> 00:47:25.440
another guy friend of mine said, no, it's very rude to not offer. So I offered and the guy

697
00:47:25.440 --> 00:47:33.840
accepted my offer, which I was annoyed about. Yeah. That was my question to you is why offer

698
00:47:33.840 --> 00:47:38.080
them? I know. Well, I'm going forward, not going to offer, but I don't want to be seen as

699
00:47:38.800 --> 00:47:43.120
someone that wants to take advantage of men or that's assuming or that's entitled.

700
00:47:43.120 --> 00:47:49.040
But I think that's what I said. I, I relate to you in that. And that's why I asked you,

701
00:47:49.040 --> 00:47:56.080
because I really felt like I got you there because in the very beginning, I felt the same way. I never

702
00:47:56.080 --> 00:48:02.240
wanted to be seen as a gold digger. Okay. I was a single mom. And so I oftentimes felt that men

703
00:48:02.240 --> 00:48:09.600
thought I only wanted to date them or have relationship with them because I had this

704
00:48:09.600 --> 00:48:14.880
lie that I was believing that men were going to assume that I wanted them to take care of me and

705
00:48:14.880 --> 00:48:22.640
my son. And really like that was a lie. I was believing that men were going to see me like that

706
00:48:23.360 --> 00:48:27.120
because that wasn't my heart. I knew that that wasn't what I was asking,

707
00:48:27.120 --> 00:48:32.560
but the enemy was trying to sit here and get me to think that I was unworthy.

708
00:48:33.600 --> 00:48:40.320
And I had to be really cautious on how men saw me, ladies, men are going to see us. However,

709
00:48:40.320 --> 00:48:43.520
they're going to see us through whatever lens that they're in. And some of them are going to

710
00:48:43.520 --> 00:48:51.520
be healthy and healed. And some of them aren't. So that's why, again, I love this topic of men

711
00:48:51.600 --> 00:48:59.760
paying for dates, because I think it can go several different ways. I had to learn to be

712
00:48:59.760 --> 00:49:06.400
okay with men paying for me on a date. In fact, God brought me to go on a date with a guy friend

713
00:49:06.400 --> 00:49:12.400
of mine that I wasn't even like, there was no romance. Like we were college friends. He moved

714
00:49:12.400 --> 00:49:19.120
from Chicago down to Florida where I was living. And we hung out and he's like, let's go to dinner.

715
00:49:20.080 --> 00:49:24.800
And I was going to pay because we were friends. Like I'm going to pay my bill and he's going to

716
00:49:24.800 --> 00:49:30.960
pay yet. And he looked at me, he's like, Carla, no, I'm covering you. He wasn't covering me like

717
00:49:30.960 --> 00:49:39.840
the bill because he wanted a relationship with me. He was doing it because he wanted to show a nice

718
00:49:39.840 --> 00:49:48.240
gesture to his friend. And God showed me that it was okay to accept that from men. It was okay for

719
00:49:48.400 --> 00:49:53.520
men to offer to pay for me. Now, did I expect it every time I went out? No,

720
00:49:55.040 --> 00:49:59.920
I liked it when men did that. I was attracted to men that

721
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:00.840
I wanted to do that.

722
00:50:00.840 --> 00:50:04.380
But if a man didn't offer to pay for me,

723
00:50:05.800 --> 00:50:06.960
I was okay with it.

724
00:50:06.960 --> 00:50:09.600
I didn't have to be upset about it.

725
00:50:09.600 --> 00:50:12.440
I don't know what his financial situation is.

726
00:50:12.440 --> 00:50:15.380
I don't know what his past is with other women.

727
00:50:16.380 --> 00:50:18.080
Because guess what, ladies?

728
00:50:18.080 --> 00:50:21.080
I might not have the heart posture to be a gold digger,

729
00:50:22.440 --> 00:50:24.400
but it doesn't mean that there aren't women out there

730
00:50:24.400 --> 00:50:27.840
that really are unhealthy

731
00:50:28.840 --> 00:50:32.520
and trying to get men to pay for everything for them.

732
00:50:33.420 --> 00:50:35.860
So you don't know if that man has interacted

733
00:50:35.860 --> 00:50:37.920
with those type of women in the past.

734
00:50:37.920 --> 00:50:40.660
So he may be on guard because he doesn't feel

735
00:50:40.660 --> 00:50:45.120
like women appreciate and value him for who he is.

736
00:50:45.120 --> 00:50:46.880
They're only worried about,

737
00:50:46.880 --> 00:50:49.120
he's worried that a woman's only gonna want him

738
00:50:49.120 --> 00:50:50.060
for his money.

739
00:50:51.400 --> 00:50:53.060
Okay, and I'm not saying like,

740
00:50:53.060 --> 00:50:55.140
again, it's just to have that perspective

741
00:50:55.140 --> 00:50:57.760
is that we don't have to be easily offended.

742
00:50:58.480 --> 00:51:00.480
I think it's chivalrous for a man to pay.

743
00:51:00.480 --> 00:51:02.640
I know even Jackie coaches this,

744
00:51:02.640 --> 00:51:04.600
let the men pay for the dates,

745
00:51:05.520 --> 00:51:08.640
but let's watch about getting offended if they don't.

746
00:51:08.640 --> 00:51:12.940
They may just have a block that they need help with.

747
00:51:14.320 --> 00:51:16.020
They need to learn and see that

748
00:51:16.020 --> 00:51:20.560
that's not what you're there for, okay?

749
00:51:20.560 --> 00:51:22.200
So Carla, I was-

750
00:51:22.200 --> 00:51:25.080
I always say like when it comes to this, okay?

751
00:51:25.080 --> 00:51:27.920
So when you're out on a date, okay, and you're at dinner,

752
00:51:27.920 --> 00:51:29.960
say you're at dinner or lunch or whatever,

753
00:51:29.960 --> 00:51:32.680
and you've got a waitress, the waitress most likely,

754
00:51:32.680 --> 00:51:35.280
because I was a waitress for many, many years,

755
00:51:35.280 --> 00:51:37.120
she's gonna have set down one bill.

756
00:51:38.080 --> 00:51:39.940
Let the man pick it up.

757
00:51:39.940 --> 00:51:43.540
Let it sit there, have a conversation at some point,

758
00:51:44.680 --> 00:51:46.240
you know, and then if you see like, okay,

759
00:51:46.240 --> 00:51:49.480
maybe, you know, there's an awkwardness,

760
00:51:49.480 --> 00:51:54.360
you might be like, hey, do you wanna split that?

761
00:51:55.240 --> 00:51:59.920
And at that point, he might say, yeah, do you mind?

762
00:51:59.920 --> 00:52:01.680
No, not at all.

763
00:52:01.680 --> 00:52:04.720
Okay, I'm gonna cover it, okay?

764
00:52:04.720 --> 00:52:06.360
The next time you go out on a second date,

765
00:52:06.360 --> 00:52:07.620
because maybe that was the only thing

766
00:52:07.620 --> 00:52:09.760
that kind of was like, eh, I don't know.

767
00:52:09.760 --> 00:52:12.240
Maybe the second date, maybe offer something

768
00:52:12.240 --> 00:52:14.440
that's, you just go for a walk.

769
00:52:15.920 --> 00:52:18.100
You go do, you know, go do something

770
00:52:18.100 --> 00:52:20.400
that's maybe not gonna cost a lot of money.

771
00:52:20.400 --> 00:52:22.500
Maybe it's going to get a cup of coffee.

772
00:52:23.500 --> 00:52:26.180
Because again, what if it's a financial thing?

773
00:52:26.180 --> 00:52:30.180
Again, we're here to coach you through this.

774
00:52:30.180 --> 00:52:33.060
Excuse me, so as things come up in your dating,

775
00:52:34.100 --> 00:52:36.500
if you want more direction of, you know,

776
00:52:36.500 --> 00:52:38.340
how do I handle this situation?

777
00:52:38.340 --> 00:52:40.560
We're here to help walk you through that.

778
00:52:40.560 --> 00:52:45.020
So I think Alessandra, like she brought this up to,

779
00:52:45.020 --> 00:52:46.860
you know, brought it up and was like,

780
00:52:46.860 --> 00:52:48.900
hey, this is what I'm struggling with.

781
00:52:48.900 --> 00:52:52.360
So now it gives us the opportunity to walk her through,

782
00:52:53.220 --> 00:52:55.320
like the next time she goes on a date.

783
00:52:55.320 --> 00:52:57.320
So for example, like, are you going to go

784
00:52:57.320 --> 00:52:59.480
on a second date with this guy?

785
00:52:59.480 --> 00:53:02.960
No, I also have another kind of question thing

786
00:53:02.960 --> 00:53:04.040
that I'm struggling with because,

787
00:53:04.040 --> 00:53:07.480
so I live in Mexico City, Christianity is a minority

788
00:53:07.480 --> 00:53:09.240
and majority is Catholic.

789
00:53:09.240 --> 00:53:12.440
But I'm really torn because if I just limit my filters

790
00:53:12.440 --> 00:53:16.600
on Christianity, there's just done, like there's no one.

791
00:53:16.600 --> 00:53:20.280
And I'm on three different apps and it's just no one.

792
00:53:20.280 --> 00:53:24.580
So I opened up my filters to Catholic and spiritual,

793
00:53:24.580 --> 00:53:27.000
but like the majority are not,

794
00:53:27.000 --> 00:53:30.240
Catholics are not practicing and spiritual neither.

795
00:53:30.240 --> 00:53:31.080
And it's like, do I,

796
00:53:31.080 --> 00:53:33.120
should I waste my time going out with guys

797
00:53:33.120 --> 00:53:35.760
who don't have a relationship with Jesus

798
00:53:35.760 --> 00:53:37.840
just to go out on dates?

799
00:53:37.840 --> 00:53:40.560
Or should I just sit and wait until like a Christian guy

800
00:53:40.560 --> 00:53:43.520
appears, which is what I've been doing for 10.

801
00:53:43.520 --> 00:53:46.760
Okay, so the first thing that kind of came out to me

802
00:53:46.760 --> 00:53:48.360
and I'm going to coach this, okay.

803
00:53:48.680 --> 00:53:51.120
This might stretch you, right?

804
00:53:51.120 --> 00:53:54.760
Because I've, again, being in this phase and coaching

805
00:53:54.760 --> 00:53:59.360
for over a year, there's this thought of,

806
00:53:59.360 --> 00:54:01.120
do I waste my time?

807
00:54:03.060 --> 00:54:03.900
Okay.

808
00:54:05.200 --> 00:54:08.240
Is it a waste of your time to get to know people?

809
00:54:10.320 --> 00:54:14.280
I mean, the people I'm never going to see again,

810
00:54:14.280 --> 00:54:16.920
like I can kind of tell by their profile, like.

811
00:54:16.920 --> 00:54:20.960
But again, like this is an opportunity for you

812
00:54:20.960 --> 00:54:24.840
to just discover, to get to know more people

813
00:54:24.840 --> 00:54:28.600
and to allow God to stretch you and see.

814
00:54:28.600 --> 00:54:31.800
Because again, this is about the surrendering of the pen

815
00:54:31.800 --> 00:54:35.960
and allowing God to come in and really show us

816
00:54:35.960 --> 00:54:37.260
and heal certain areas.

817
00:54:37.260 --> 00:54:39.720
Because ladies, I will tell you this,

818
00:54:39.720 --> 00:54:43.760
part of this process is going to be healing.

819
00:54:43.760 --> 00:54:46.320
The dating process will be healing.

820
00:54:46.320 --> 00:54:48.160
Things are going to get revealed to you

821
00:54:48.160 --> 00:54:50.640
in the dating process that you didn't even know

822
00:54:50.640 --> 00:54:52.240
that needed to be healed.

823
00:54:52.240 --> 00:54:55.040
And it's part of the preparation for marriage.

824
00:54:56.120 --> 00:54:59.280
I had to work through a lot of that, okay?

825
00:54:59.280 --> 00:55:00.120
And so again, I.

826
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:07.000
Let's really ask ourselves, why do I have this mindset that I'm wasting my time?

827
00:55:07.000 --> 00:55:10.000
Am I truly wasting my time?

828
00:55:10.000 --> 00:55:22.000
Now, again, I know that this can get confusing in this phase of,

829
00:55:22.000 --> 00:55:25.000
do I date the Christian, do I not date the non-Christian?

830
00:55:25.000 --> 00:55:28.000
Do I date a believer, do I not date a believer?

831
00:55:28.000 --> 00:55:38.000
My advice, my direction for you ladies is,

832
00:55:38.000 --> 00:55:40.000
I guess what I'm trying to say is,

833
00:55:40.000 --> 00:55:44.000
you may not know what their relationship with the Lord looks like.

834
00:55:44.000 --> 00:55:52.000
Now, when I was going through and looking at parameters on my online dating,

835
00:55:52.000 --> 00:56:00.000
I decided for myself that in that little category where it says religion,

836
00:56:00.000 --> 00:56:02.000
and then they give a response,

837
00:56:02.000 --> 00:56:06.000
if they didn't say something about,

838
00:56:06.000 --> 00:56:09.000
if they were atheist or agnostic,

839
00:56:09.000 --> 00:56:12.000
I wasn't going to entertain that.

840
00:56:12.000 --> 00:56:14.000
Because I'm a believer,

841
00:56:14.000 --> 00:56:21.000
and I want a husband that also has the same views of Jesus as I do.

842
00:56:21.000 --> 00:56:23.000
What I will share with you is,

843
00:56:23.000 --> 00:56:27.000
because I was actually just talking to Bethany about this recently,

844
00:56:27.000 --> 00:56:33.000
and it's even something that my husband and I have maybe not seen eye-to-eye to is,

845
00:56:33.000 --> 00:56:39.000
and I'm sharing this from a perspective because I don't have experience with this,

846
00:56:39.000 --> 00:56:41.000
but Bethany did.

847
00:56:41.000 --> 00:56:44.000
Bethany's husband Brian,

848
00:56:44.000 --> 00:56:48.000
because she met him on Facebook dating,

849
00:56:48.000 --> 00:56:53.000
his thing said that he was Methodist.

850
00:56:53.000 --> 00:56:59.000
She almost questioned whether or not she should move forward with Brian,

851
00:56:59.000 --> 00:57:01.000
because he said he was Methodist.

852
00:57:01.000 --> 00:57:05.000
I'm going to read to you how she was talking to me.

853
00:57:05.000 --> 00:57:06.000
She's like,

854
00:57:06.000 --> 00:57:13.000
in the beginning, I wasn't sure if it was good for me to move forward with Brian because he was Methodist.

855
00:57:13.000 --> 00:57:18.000
What I learned through that is being unequally yoked isn't about denominations

856
00:57:18.000 --> 00:57:22.000
as much as it is about a person's spiritual DNA.

857
00:57:22.000 --> 00:57:25.000
What do they believe about Jesus,

858
00:57:25.000 --> 00:57:30.000
and does each person in the couple have similar values and beliefs,

859
00:57:30.000 --> 00:57:34.000
and how they walk out their relationship with Jesus?

860
00:57:34.000 --> 00:57:36.000
Then she goes on to saying,

861
00:57:36.000 --> 00:57:40.000
again, it goes back to supernaturally surrendering,

862
00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:46.000
and committing to surrendering those things to the Lord.

863
00:57:46.000 --> 00:57:54.000
She remembers it really goes back to that surrender and the never will I evers.

864
00:57:54.000 --> 00:57:57.000
If we're having a religious heart posture,

865
00:57:57.000 --> 00:58:01.000
those might be areas that God wants to work on us,

866
00:58:01.000 --> 00:58:06.000
and that might be why he may be bringing us at times different people of different denominations,

867
00:58:06.000 --> 00:58:08.000
because he wants to show us something.

868
00:58:08.000 --> 00:58:10.000
I'm not saying that's going to always happen,

869
00:58:10.000 --> 00:58:13.000
but I'm saying those are things to keep in consider because she said,

870
00:58:13.000 --> 00:58:15.000
Brian is an incredible,

871
00:58:15.000 --> 00:58:16.000
and this is what she said,

872
00:58:16.000 --> 00:58:18.000
Brian is an incredible man and filled with the spirit,

873
00:58:18.000 --> 00:58:22.000
and is committed to his relationship with Christ.

874
00:58:22.000 --> 00:58:24.000
Okay, even though he's Methodist,

875
00:58:24.000 --> 00:58:26.000
and she shared this,

876
00:58:26.000 --> 00:58:27.000
she's like,

877
00:58:27.000 --> 00:58:31.000
if I had kept my religious mindset and my walls up regarding his denomination,

878
00:58:31.000 --> 00:58:34.000
she would have completely missed out on her husband.

879
00:58:34.000 --> 00:58:36.000
I mean, not that you're going to miss out on your husband,

880
00:58:36.000 --> 00:58:42.000
but she would have missed out on the opportunity to say yes to who God was bringing into her.

881
00:58:42.000 --> 00:58:44.000
Again, we have free will.

882
00:58:44.000 --> 00:58:45.000
She could have said no,

883
00:58:45.000 --> 00:58:47.000
and God could have brought somebody else for her,

884
00:58:47.000 --> 00:58:55.000
but she values and knows what goodness is coming from their marriage,

885
00:58:55.000 --> 00:58:56.000
and she's like,

886
00:58:56.000 --> 00:58:58.000
I'm not unequally yoked.

887
00:58:58.000 --> 00:59:02.000
Does he operate in the prophetic stuff that she does?

888
00:59:02.000 --> 00:59:03.000
No,

889
00:59:03.000 --> 00:59:10.000
but she's also learning that his gifts and abilities bring balance to her life and viewpoint.

890
00:59:10.000 --> 00:59:12.000
So,

891
00:59:12.000 --> 00:59:14.000
I say that because again,

892
00:59:14.000 --> 00:59:16.000
you know,

893
00:59:16.000 --> 00:59:24.000
be open to going on at least one or two dates with someone that you're not sure what their faith life looks like.

894
00:59:24.000 --> 00:59:27.000
Most of the time, ladies, you're not going to know.

895
00:59:27.000 --> 00:59:29.000
Now,

896
00:59:29.000 --> 00:59:31.000
we're not wanting it.

897
00:59:31.000 --> 00:59:41.000
I say this because I've seen women start grilling men and forcing and asking questions about a man's faith.

898
00:59:41.000 --> 00:59:44.000
I don't agree with that.

899
00:59:44.000 --> 00:59:47.000
Now, can it come up organically?

900
00:59:47.000 --> 00:59:49.000
Absolutely.

901
00:59:49.000 --> 00:59:50.000
All right.

902
00:59:50.000 --> 01:00:00.000
Ask certain nicer settled questions that can lean into more of what that looks like.

903
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.120
like. Okay. And so, you know, sometimes you'd be like, what's

904
01:00:05.120 --> 01:00:08.640
your Sunday look like? You know, or if they say that they're

905
01:00:08.640 --> 01:00:11.280
Christian, or maybe they put something in their bio, or maybe

906
01:00:11.280 --> 01:00:14.120
they're Catholic, you can ask them, you know, you know, what

907
01:00:14.120 --> 01:00:17.240
does that look like for you? What's your faith walk look

908
01:00:17.240 --> 01:00:19.960
like, you know, especially if they mentioned in their bio, you

909
01:00:19.960 --> 01:00:25.160
can say something to them about it. Okay. We just don't want

910
01:00:25.160 --> 01:00:28.800
y'all grilling them. And literally putting the ax on

911
01:00:28.800 --> 01:00:31.800
them, without really getting to know their heart. Because again,

912
01:00:31.800 --> 01:00:34.920
we don't know what their heart posture is towards the Lord.

913
01:00:35.160 --> 01:00:38.600
Some people might, you know, they might grow up Catholic and,

914
01:00:38.880 --> 01:00:41.560
and then they're fine if they're, you know, they have a

915
01:00:41.560 --> 01:00:44.720
relationship with Jesus. And, you know, they might be, you

916
01:00:44.720 --> 01:00:48.640
know, okay, shifting over into a different denomination, maybe

917
01:00:48.640 --> 01:00:53.280
they're not tied to a particular denomination, it's just all that

918
01:00:53.280 --> 01:00:55.360
they've known, it's all that they've grown up with, which it

919
01:00:55.360 --> 01:00:58.720
sounds like, Alessandra, like, a lot of people in that culture,

920
01:00:58.800 --> 01:01:01.920
that's, that's just a culture thing. That's what they've grown

921
01:01:01.960 --> 01:01:05.800
up with. So again, like, what does that look like for them,

922
01:01:06.320 --> 01:01:09.480
they might be open to discovering what a different

923
01:01:09.480 --> 01:01:13.080
denomination is, we don't know. But again, I wouldn't stress you

924
01:01:13.080 --> 01:01:16.560
ladies to be grilling these men on any of that stuff. And so

925
01:01:16.560 --> 01:01:19.600
again, we can walk you through that process as well as those

926
01:01:19.600 --> 01:01:25.000
situations come up. Okay, I know, I kind of just talked a

927
01:01:25.000 --> 01:01:27.360
lot and I see a lot of hands and I want to leave space for

928
01:01:27.360 --> 01:01:30.600
you ladies. Alessandra, did you have anything else? Did you feel

929
01:01:30.600 --> 01:01:31.800
like we touched on?

930
01:01:32.360 --> 01:01:36.120
Yeah, I think it's just kind of, I mean, it's helpful to hear

931
01:01:36.120 --> 01:01:39.560
that you left your filters open, but then people who are

932
01:01:39.560 --> 01:01:44.040
agnostic and atheists, you kind of pass. Yeah. That's what I was

933
01:01:44.040 --> 01:01:49.120
doing. But yeah, I just feel like, Oh, these people, like,

934
01:01:49.240 --> 01:01:49.600
you know,

935
01:01:49.600 --> 01:01:51.440
I mean, it's sometimes like, if you're starting to get like a

936
01:01:51.440 --> 01:01:56.840
flood in, like, yeah, it's a flood. So you might put another

937
01:01:56.840 --> 01:02:00.880
filter on there. Like, okay, I'm only gonna go like with someone

938
01:02:00.880 --> 01:02:03.440
that says they're a Christian, whatever that looks like, I

939
01:02:03.440 --> 01:02:07.480
didn't want to swipe right on or I don't want to swipe on people

940
01:02:07.480 --> 01:02:12.000
that that, or, or some people put that spiritual but not

941
01:02:12.000 --> 01:02:17.360
religious, like, I didn't really love that. So I didn't like,

942
01:02:17.480 --> 01:02:22.800
again, everyone has their own preferences of things or open to

943
01:02:22.800 --> 01:02:25.240
again, if you're being flooded with stuff, then yeah, you can

944
01:02:25.240 --> 01:02:28.960
set a little you can you can put up a little more of a filter, if

945
01:02:28.960 --> 01:02:32.840
you know, but I also know that some women they're like,

946
01:02:33.040 --> 01:02:35.640
there's no man I'm like, Okay, well, let's just open the

947
01:02:35.640 --> 01:02:37.880
filter. Let's just start getting the practice. Let's start

948
01:02:37.880 --> 01:02:42.800
getting to know people. And some people, ladies, I'll share this

949
01:02:42.800 --> 01:02:49.440
Jackie's, Jackie has men clients. And she's shared that

950
01:02:49.440 --> 01:02:53.760
some of the clients and the men that she's coached, they do not

951
01:02:53.760 --> 01:02:57.680
put that they're Christian on their profiles. Because they

952
01:02:57.680 --> 01:03:03.320
find that they get infiltrated with really hungry Christian

953
01:03:03.320 --> 01:03:07.080
women that are like ready, like they want to pop out babies, and

954
01:03:07.080 --> 01:03:10.440
they want to get married. And the guys are like, hold on. So

955
01:03:10.440 --> 01:03:13.480
some, some of the guys that she has coached and she's talked to,

956
01:03:14.600 --> 01:03:17.280
they've shared with her, like, I don't even put Christian on my

957
01:03:17.280 --> 01:03:21.960
site on my on my profile. Because they don't want to be

958
01:03:21.960 --> 01:03:28.920
infiltrated by these, you know, very Christian, religious

959
01:03:28.920 --> 01:03:34.680
ladies. So like, they're kind of turned off by it. So they don't

960
01:03:34.680 --> 01:03:37.760
even put it on there. You know, obviously, are they looking for

961
01:03:37.760 --> 01:03:41.480
a Christian woman? Yeah, they are. But they're not trying to,

962
01:03:42.400 --> 01:03:46.800
like get married tomorrow. And you have to remember, like men

963
01:03:46.800 --> 01:03:50.000
don't have like the biological clock that we do. Like we we

964
01:03:50.000 --> 01:03:52.960
struggle with that. And I know that that comes up for you

965
01:03:52.960 --> 01:03:55.560
ladies, but I don't want to waste my time because I don't

966
01:03:55.560 --> 01:03:57.840
have much time and I still want to be a mom or I want to do this

967
01:03:57.840 --> 01:04:01.400
and want to do that. I get it. You know, I still wanted I

968
01:04:01.400 --> 01:04:05.960
wanted another child. You know, I had a I had a young child and

969
01:04:05.960 --> 01:04:09.880
I wanted I wanted another. And I thought, I don't have much

970
01:04:09.880 --> 01:04:14.200
time. And then lo and behold, my husband came with two kids. He

971
01:04:14.200 --> 01:04:17.000
had a vasectomy, he couldn't have more kids. I thought that

972
01:04:17.000 --> 01:04:19.240
was going to be a deal breaker. And the Lord was like, Whoa,

973
01:04:19.240 --> 01:04:22.960
Carla, I told you you were going to have more children. It didn't

974
01:04:22.960 --> 01:04:26.840
tell you were going to birth them. I mean, that was a smack

975
01:04:26.840 --> 01:04:30.320
in my face. I was like, Oh, dang, God, you're right. And now

976
01:04:30.320 --> 01:04:34.360
I have three amazing kids. And y'all, I don't want another one.

977
01:04:35.360 --> 01:04:41.880
I'm fine with my three, they keep me very busy. And we have

978
01:04:41.880 --> 01:04:45.480
a lot of healing in our family and our blending, you know, so I

979
01:04:45.480 --> 01:04:48.760
mean, my two older kids, they lost they lost their earthly

980
01:04:48.760 --> 01:04:53.880
mom. You know, they they've been without a mom for many years.

981
01:04:54.320 --> 01:04:58.600
And so it's a whole process for them now too. So again, I get

982
01:04:58.600 --> 01:04:59.560
that whole like

983
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:08.000
anxiety, but again we've got to cast those things on the Lord. Okay, all right, I got Karen, I got

984
01:05:08.000 --> 01:05:15.920
Melissa, I got Leslie, I got Zoom user, I don't know who you are, you got a pretty striped shirt on,

985
01:05:15.920 --> 01:05:21.760
I got your hand raised, and then I got Liz. Okay, so ladies, I got five of you, we are like seven

986
01:05:21.760 --> 01:05:28.080
minutes past the hour, so let's keep these short, brief, and powerful. I'm gonna leave the space to

987
01:05:28.080 --> 01:05:34.720
answer those, you five questions, if anybody else has questions, put your hand up now, otherwise

988
01:05:34.720 --> 01:05:41.760
we're going to ask that you put it in the group, and we'll answer it there in the group. Okay,

989
01:05:42.320 --> 01:05:50.080
all right, Karen, how are you? I'm good, thanks. So I guess you've kind of answered some of my

990
01:05:50.080 --> 01:05:54.960
question, but I have been saying no to anybody who doesn't say that they're a Christian, because

991
01:05:54.960 --> 01:06:00.320
I've already dated people who are non-Christian, and I guess I'm afraid of falling for somebody

992
01:06:00.320 --> 01:06:05.280
who's not Christian, and then getting far enough where it's like harder to break it off, because we

993
01:06:05.280 --> 01:06:11.760
realize that we aren't equally yoked, but I've said no to some guys who are really

994
01:06:11.760 --> 01:06:17.600
interesting, who haven't said anything, so like, I don't know, I guess what would, it sounds like you

995
01:06:17.600 --> 01:06:25.600
are encouraging being open, and just meeting them, or yeah, just again, you know, just again, process

996
01:06:25.600 --> 01:06:32.560
that stuff with us here, and with the Lord, I mean, if you see a guy in whose profile looks nice, and

997
01:06:32.560 --> 01:06:37.520
yeah, like I mean, because I will tell you some men, like you can tell by how they're writing

998
01:06:37.520 --> 01:06:45.680
their profile, like yeah, a good person, like they're just, yeah, and if anything, like sometimes it's

999
01:06:45.680 --> 01:06:50.480
just nice to go out with somebody that's just really a pleasant person to be around, yeah, God

1000
01:06:50.480 --> 01:06:55.280
can show you, and you know, maybe he's, he doesn't have a walk with the Lord, but maybe he's just a

1001
01:06:55.280 --> 01:07:02.880
stand-up gentleman, and he has fruits, because we talked to you ladies about not being a gift inspector,

1002
01:07:02.880 --> 01:07:07.920
like does this, does this guy have all these gifts, can he speak in tongues, does he get visions, does he,

1003
01:07:07.920 --> 01:07:12.800
you know, does he have a prophetic gift, does he have, no, let's not look at the gifts, and be gifts

1004
01:07:12.800 --> 01:07:17.760
inspectors, we want to be fruit inspectors, do they have the fruit of the spirit, are they kind, are

1005
01:07:17.760 --> 01:07:22.720
they patient, do they have love, do they have joy, do they have peace, you know, faithfulness, yeah, like you're

1006
01:07:22.720 --> 01:07:26.480
gonna see that, I mean, if they don't have a walk with the Lord, you might not see that they have a

1007
01:07:26.480 --> 01:07:32.720
faithfulness, but again, as you guys grow into getting to know them, you might be surprised,

1008
01:07:33.680 --> 01:07:41.840
you know, they may be open, you might be encountering someone that, you know, has started maybe

1009
01:07:43.360 --> 01:07:48.640
looking at their faith, but they're not sure, because you don't know what religious or church

1010
01:07:48.640 --> 01:07:55.040
hurt they've experienced in their life, yeah, and so again, don't miss out on opportunities of

1011
01:07:55.040 --> 01:08:02.000
going out with a nice guy, just because, yeah, he doesn't, now as you get to know him, and you don't

1012
01:08:02.000 --> 01:08:07.600
see these, we talk about the three Ms, is he masculine, is he mature, is he marriage-minded,

1013
01:08:07.600 --> 01:08:13.520
or that, is he a true gentleman, if you start seeing that this guy's not a true gentleman,

1014
01:08:13.520 --> 01:08:20.160
you know, he's all like, he's okay with, you know, sex before marriage, which again, we're not saying

1015
01:08:20.160 --> 01:08:25.680
that you're going to know that offhand, but I will tell you, you'd be surprised what you can

1016
01:08:25.680 --> 01:08:31.600
kind of learn without needing to ask what their stance on that, I coached a woman yesterday,

1017
01:08:32.399 --> 01:08:40.880
and she was telling me this guy, there was some things that he said that I was like,

1018
01:08:40.880 --> 01:08:46.160
you know, it's a little red flag-ish, but he was pretty nice when she did meet up with him,

1019
01:08:46.720 --> 01:08:54.160
but then she shared how he might not know how to behave in dating, because he was in a 17-year

1020
01:08:54.160 --> 01:09:03.920
relationship and was never married to the person, oh, ladies, like, I kind of can see him like,

1021
01:09:03.920 --> 01:09:09.279
okay, he's, there's no man that's going to be in a relationship with a woman for 17 years,

1022
01:09:09.279 --> 01:09:18.000
and he's not having sex with her, yeah, let's be real, okay, so I mean, to me, I'm like,

1023
01:09:18.000 --> 01:09:22.880
that to me would be more of a red flag, like this guy doesn't seem like he's going to honor

1024
01:09:22.880 --> 01:09:29.920
your desire to walk in, you know, waiting for marriage, and marriage doesn't seem like it's

1025
01:09:29.920 --> 01:09:35.359
probably on the table for him, again, I'm not, I mean, to me, that was more of like a very orange,

1026
01:09:35.359 --> 01:09:40.720
almost red flag as she started to like him more, then we could start seeing that there might be

1027
01:09:40.720 --> 01:09:46.800
more red flags coming up, and then at that point, she might only be two dates in, maybe a third date

1028
01:09:46.800 --> 01:09:52.319
where she can just say, hey, look, thank you for spending time with me, it's been nice getting to

1029
01:09:52.319 --> 01:09:58.400
know you, I don't see this going anywhere romantically, I wish you the best, and then let it

1030
01:09:58.400 --> 01:09:59.840
go.

1031
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.360
So I don't want you ladies missing out on going out with some really nice guys

1032
01:10:06.000 --> 01:10:13.960
Gotcha. Okay, like that's what we're looking for. You're looking for going out with a nice guy. Yeah, no one that's gonna be a gentleman

1033
01:10:14.880 --> 01:10:16.880
It's gonna you know honor you

1034
01:10:17.280 --> 01:10:22.960
Show you that there are good men out there now ladies are gonna come across some not-so-great ones. Yeah

1035
01:10:24.200 --> 01:10:25.760
We don't have to get offended

1036
01:10:25.760 --> 01:10:30.080
We don't have it and here's the thing if we get offended by some of the men and some of the things that the guys

1037
01:10:30.080 --> 01:10:32.080
Do guess what?

1038
01:10:32.120 --> 01:10:34.120
That is an inward thing

1039
01:10:34.640 --> 01:10:37.760
Yeah, so we got to work through some hard stuff

1040
01:10:39.000 --> 01:10:44.200
Like that's important. And that's what we're here for. Come let us know. We'll help you with that

1041
01:10:44.200 --> 01:10:48.360
I mean, I can't tell you how much hard work I had to do in my dating process

1042
01:10:50.520 --> 01:10:52.520
Like I had one guy that like

1043
01:10:53.080 --> 01:10:53.920
You know

1044
01:10:53.920 --> 01:11:00.840
I turned down because he was like 10 years older than me and I wasn't interested in dating someone who was almost years older than

1045
01:11:00.840 --> 01:11:02.840
Me and when I talked to him about it

1046
01:11:03.080 --> 01:11:10.400
He like bit my dog and then started proceeding to say well I went out with a 20 year old and like mind you he

1047
01:11:10.400 --> 01:11:15.320
Was like 36 or 37. He's like, well, I went out with a 21 year old last week and I'm like, that's gross

1048
01:11:18.800 --> 01:11:20.840
About it and I mean I was bad

1049
01:11:22.520 --> 01:11:25.160
You know what ladies, you know what that man showed me I

1050
01:11:26.160 --> 01:11:32.440
Really did struggle with men that dated really younger women because my son's father left me seven months pregnant

1051
01:11:32.880 --> 01:11:35.240
For a woman who was 12 years younger than me

1052
01:11:37.240 --> 01:11:42.020
Okay, God like pulled that he's like look you got some healing to do here Carla

1053
01:11:43.040 --> 01:11:46.760
So when we have things like that come up, are we supposed to that is that one?

1054
01:11:46.760 --> 01:11:50.020
We're supposed to post a video. How do we bring it to the community? Like

1055
01:11:50.540 --> 01:11:54.580
Yeah posted video I mean anything that comes up ladies

1056
01:11:54.580 --> 01:11:58.900
I want to encourage you get in the in the app in the group

1057
01:11:59.700 --> 01:12:01.700
several times a week

1058
01:12:01.980 --> 01:12:07.820
Show let us know what's going on in your life and it doesn't have to be what you're like a dating thing

1059
01:12:07.820 --> 01:12:12.780
It can be a hard work thing. It can be a thing within community. It could be a thing with that

1060
01:12:12.780 --> 01:12:14.780
You're struggling with your girlfriends

1061
01:12:14.980 --> 01:12:16.260
You know

1062
01:12:16.420 --> 01:12:22.900
Whatever it is that that God is highlighting in your life right now or something that you're working on or maybe it's an aha moment

1063
01:12:22.900 --> 01:12:28.100
That you had maybe it was like, oh my goodness. This is what God showed me or you know

1064
01:12:28.100 --> 01:12:31.780
And this is really awesome like celebrate with us. It can be about

1065
01:12:32.460 --> 01:12:34.780
Anything do live with us?

1066
01:12:35.780 --> 01:12:36.860
Okay

1067
01:12:36.860 --> 01:12:43.300
Cool. Thank you so much for sharing Karen. I hope that I hope this helped you very much. Thank you. Good

1068
01:12:43.820 --> 01:12:45.820
Melissa, how are you?

1069
01:12:47.020 --> 01:12:49.020
I'm doing. All right. How are you Carla?

1070
01:12:49.860 --> 01:12:56.020
And I don't I want again. I want to encourage you do not feel like you're posting too much. I know you said that

1071
01:12:58.060 --> 01:13:05.460
Like you come now like him are we gonna respond to everything right away not maybe not always like we might have to like

1072
01:13:05.460 --> 01:13:07.340
Take a minute and come back

1073
01:13:07.340 --> 01:13:12.580
Because sometimes I like I might only have like 20 minutes to respond and I'll go in and do what I can and then I have

1074
01:13:12.580 --> 01:13:16.420
To come back a couple hours later. So don't think that we're avoiding you for not answering you

1075
01:13:17.740 --> 01:13:23.060
Well, you guys so far. I just don't want especially the ladies in the group be like, oh my gosh this girl

1076
01:13:23.060 --> 01:13:24.020
She's posting again

1077
01:13:24.020 --> 01:13:24.540
No

1078
01:13:24.540 --> 01:13:30.300
But here's the thing is you ladies will learn from each other like the questions that you ask is the chances are someone else has

1079
01:13:30.300 --> 01:13:32.060
the same question

1080
01:13:32.060 --> 01:13:33.300
well

1081
01:13:33.300 --> 01:13:35.500
In that regard. I want to be sensitive of time

1082
01:13:35.500 --> 01:13:39.940
I actually do have a lot of questions based on what you were talking with Alessandra here and about

1083
01:13:40.300 --> 01:13:45.100
I think that I'm very much struggling to find this balance and I

1084
01:13:45.620 --> 01:13:50.940
Mentioned somewhere in one of my comments. I definitely swung the door wide wide open like with my filters

1085
01:13:50.940 --> 01:13:52.940
like I don't think that they've been

1086
01:13:53.580 --> 01:14:00.380
Honed in enough. Don't you have like 10 people you're talking to you? Oh girl. I there's conversations that have been started

1087
01:14:00.380 --> 01:14:05.340
I'm probably at like 20 that have been started in the past week. Okay, we're gonna we're gonna have you like

1088
01:14:09.940 --> 01:14:11.940
That's

1089
01:14:12.340 --> 01:14:18.100
Okay, so just again I would spend time with Holy Spirit and really highlight, you know

1090
01:14:18.100 --> 01:14:23.140
I say like two three no more than four that you really genuinely

1091
01:14:23.780 --> 01:14:27.580
Want to learn and enjoy and get to know better. Yeah

1092
01:14:28.380 --> 01:14:32.460
Mean I'm actually I'm naturally gravitating towards a couple of them for sure

1093
01:14:33.260 --> 01:14:34.560
Which is great the others

1094
01:14:34.560 --> 01:14:38.980
I just feel like that's where it feels like more of a job to just kind of keep up with like if I want to

1095
01:14:38.980 --> 01:14:40.980
Keep the connection going to see if there's a date

1096
01:14:41.260 --> 01:14:45.100
But my question is in the midst of that the couple that I feel like I'm more

1097
01:14:46.220 --> 01:14:52.260
Gravitating towards along these lines of whether it's filters not filters gauging like what the Holy Spirit's prompting

1098
01:14:52.260 --> 01:14:54.260
How do we be open not too?

1099
01:14:54.260 --> 01:15:00.180
Judgmental, but also be guarded and pay attention to red and yellow flags. Like I think I'm really struggling

1100
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.080
struggling to know where that balance is, especially when I want to convey to someone

1101
01:15:04.080 --> 01:15:08.200
a, that I'm marriage minded, that marriage is really important to me.

1102
01:15:08.200 --> 01:15:09.280
And that's what I'm looking for.

1103
01:15:09.280 --> 01:15:15.200
B, that my faith is important to me without coming on really strong, but then guarding

1104
01:15:15.200 --> 01:15:19.680
what you guys are telling us to do and saying like, yeah, don't, don't cover the intense

1105
01:15:19.680 --> 01:15:20.760
topics at first.

1106
01:15:20.760 --> 01:15:21.760
Don't grill the guy.

1107
01:15:21.760 --> 01:15:22.760
Don't.

1108
01:15:22.760 --> 01:15:26.480
And even if you must share too much, like, okay, so how do I convey to him that I'm serious

1109
01:15:26.480 --> 01:15:32.640
about this and that these values matter yet still sort of stick to this guideline.

1110
01:15:32.640 --> 01:15:33.640
Does that make sense?

1111
01:15:33.640 --> 01:15:34.640
Yeah, it does.

1112
01:15:34.640 --> 01:15:38.920
And I think that the thing that I'm, you know, really feeling in my spirit and I think it's

1113
01:15:38.920 --> 01:15:44.880
important for you ladies to know is yes, we, we understand like we are marriage minded

1114
01:15:44.880 --> 01:15:48.080
and there's certain things that are really important to us, but again, you're still in

1115
01:15:48.080 --> 01:15:54.600
these early stages of dating and it's okay to just let your hair down and just enjoy

1116
01:15:54.600 --> 01:15:55.600
it.

1117
01:15:55.800 --> 01:16:01.680
Enjoy that process of just going out and having fun with somebody new.

1118
01:16:01.680 --> 01:16:08.240
And so my suggestion even is as you're like talking and getting to know them, like, are

1119
01:16:08.240 --> 01:16:10.960
any of these guys that you're gravitating towards?

1120
01:16:10.960 --> 01:16:11.960
Are they local?

1121
01:16:11.960 --> 01:16:15.240
Yeah, actually three of them are local.

1122
01:16:15.240 --> 01:16:16.240
One is not.

1123
01:16:16.240 --> 01:16:20.320
So then let's just get, get the in-person date set up.

1124
01:16:20.320 --> 01:16:26.920
We don't have to, we don't have to categorize like, is this guy, my husband, is he not like,

1125
01:16:26.920 --> 01:16:29.440
we don't have to know that stuff.

1126
01:16:29.440 --> 01:16:31.640
Oftentimes we don't know that right away.

1127
01:16:31.640 --> 01:16:37.280
Like truth be told is that oftentimes, and Jackie will share this when she's, you know,

1128
01:16:37.280 --> 01:16:43.600
matching people and she's, you know, intertwined in people's love story is that oftentimes

1129
01:16:43.600 --> 01:16:50.080
the women are not sure in the very beginning whether or not that person is their husband

1130
01:16:50.080 --> 01:16:51.080
or not.

1131
01:16:51.080 --> 01:16:52.080
Yeah.

1132
01:16:52.080 --> 01:16:57.640
Oftentimes the men are the ones that are like, they know right away, the way we take

1133
01:16:57.640 --> 01:17:03.120
a little more time, because again, remember we're very emotional creatures.

1134
01:17:03.120 --> 01:17:07.560
Our feminine is drawn to that empath emotional.

1135
01:17:07.560 --> 01:17:14.240
And so we need to feel that we have more of a connection on a different level than maybe

1136
01:17:14.240 --> 01:17:19.540
what some men need to take us time.

1137
01:17:19.540 --> 01:17:27.660
And so I want to encourage you that you don't have to know right away if this guy values

1138
01:17:27.660 --> 01:17:30.540
or honors the same things that you do.

1139
01:17:30.540 --> 01:17:33.420
Just go out on the date, spend time, enjoy them.

1140
01:17:33.420 --> 01:17:39.020
And as you get to know them more and the more that you like, once you've been on at least

1141
01:17:39.020 --> 01:17:42.420
two dates, typically there's more of a comfort level.

1142
01:17:42.420 --> 01:17:45.460
I don't know if you all have experienced that.

1143
01:17:45.460 --> 01:17:48.620
Like when I went out on dates, like the first date is always like a little, like you're

1144
01:17:48.700 --> 01:17:51.660
a little nervous, a little awkward, right?

1145
01:17:51.660 --> 01:17:55.740
And then by the second date, you're like, okay, I've, I've met this person before.

1146
01:17:55.740 --> 01:17:57.260
I've had some conversation.

1147
01:17:57.260 --> 01:18:00.100
My guard is a little, like I'm more at ease.

1148
01:18:00.100 --> 01:18:03.060
And then typically by a third date, there's more of a comfort.

1149
01:18:03.060 --> 01:18:06.300
So you can have some more of those topics.

1150
01:18:06.300 --> 01:18:15.500
And again, you're looking for indicators that they are marriage minded and masculine and

1151
01:18:15.500 --> 01:18:16.500
mature.

1152
01:18:16.740 --> 01:18:22.820
And I don't know if you were able to hear my replay from last week, but I shared that

1153
01:18:22.820 --> 01:18:27.300
and was like, ladies, you're not always going to see the three Ms on a first date.

1154
01:18:27.300 --> 01:18:29.900
You might not even see it on a second.

1155
01:18:29.900 --> 01:18:33.140
And that's why it's, it's a yes until it's a no.

1156
01:18:33.140 --> 01:18:36.180
So right now these guys are yeses.

1157
01:18:36.180 --> 01:18:37.180
Okay.

1158
01:18:37.180 --> 01:18:38.180
Okay.

1159
01:18:38.180 --> 01:18:41.460
And I think my question is also on the flip side, like this one guy that I had posted

1160
01:18:41.460 --> 01:18:47.980
about who asked those really intense questions, questioning me and saying marriage minded.

1161
01:18:47.980 --> 01:18:52.260
And I'm like, I am, but I was basically trying to tell him what you're telling me, like,

1162
01:18:52.260 --> 01:18:56.140
just because it doesn't mean I need to be going into the deep and tearing open every

1163
01:18:56.140 --> 01:18:57.140
heart wound.

1164
01:18:57.140 --> 01:18:58.140
It's for you.

1165
01:18:58.140 --> 01:19:07.500
This is when like, again, and I laugh at this because my husband would go like before we

1166
01:19:07.500 --> 01:19:10.140
even met, cause we were long distance, he was living in Texas.

1167
01:19:10.140 --> 01:19:11.140
I was in Florida.

1168
01:19:11.140 --> 01:19:15.100
And so, and I didn't even do everything right.

1169
01:19:15.100 --> 01:19:20.980
Y'all like, we tell you to get those video chats, like within the first week and to get

1170
01:19:20.980 --> 01:19:21.980
off the texting.

1171
01:19:21.980 --> 01:19:24.940
My husband and I were texting for three weeks before we met.

1172
01:19:24.940 --> 01:19:26.380
I didn't do a video call with him.

1173
01:19:26.380 --> 01:19:30.180
Cause honestly I was in a point where I'm like, this is just not going to go anywhere.

1174
01:19:30.180 --> 01:19:31.980
I would been let down so often.

1175
01:19:31.980 --> 01:19:36.660
I was just kind of like, whatever, God's just going to have to perform a miracle here.

1176
01:19:36.660 --> 01:19:45.500
And so we, right before we went out in person, he flew in to see, well, he flew in for work,

1177
01:19:45.500 --> 01:19:50.500
but I was like, okay, I probably need to have a phone conversation with this guy.

1178
01:19:50.500 --> 01:19:55.740
And so even I didn't do that correctly, but it was more again, along the lines of just

1179
01:19:55.740 --> 01:19:57.620
like, it's a yes until it's a no.

1180
01:19:57.620 --> 01:19:59.940
And I was just like, but he.

1181
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:03.000
but deep dive questions through text.

1182
01:20:03.000 --> 01:20:04.640
And I mean, there was things I learned about him

1183
01:20:04.640 --> 01:20:06.640
that I shouldn't have learned about him early on,

1184
01:20:06.640 --> 01:20:08.360
but I didn't allow that to be like,

1185
01:20:08.360 --> 01:20:09.800
oh no, you didn't do it right.

1186
01:20:09.800 --> 01:20:11.340
You didn't do it the way my mentor told me

1187
01:20:11.340 --> 01:20:12.680
that you were supposed to do it.

1188
01:20:12.680 --> 01:20:14.280
I mean, I remember going to Jackie and been like,

1189
01:20:14.280 --> 01:20:16.200
I don't know, this guy, this, this guy, this.

1190
01:20:16.200 --> 01:20:19.100
And she's like, Carla, get off the ledge,

1191
01:20:19.100 --> 01:20:20.680
just go on the date and have fun.

1192
01:20:20.680 --> 01:20:22.080
And that's what she told me.

1193
01:20:22.080 --> 01:20:24.800
It's like, I'm overthinking it, Carla.

1194
01:20:24.800 --> 01:20:26.580
I mean, she knows me very well.

1195
01:20:27.140 --> 01:20:30.700
And so she's like, stop overthinking it.

1196
01:20:30.700 --> 01:20:32.420
Just go enjoy the date.

1197
01:20:32.420 --> 01:20:34.460
And I was like, fine.

1198
01:20:34.460 --> 01:20:37.380
And so, like I said, like I didn't do everything right,

1199
01:20:37.380 --> 01:20:39.540
but this is when, you know, we'll play ladies,

1200
01:20:39.540 --> 01:20:41.860
like just let the guys know, be like, you know what,

1201
01:20:41.860 --> 01:20:43.940
these are all really great questions.

1202
01:20:43.940 --> 01:20:46.720
Maybe we can address them when we meet in person.

1203
01:20:46.720 --> 01:20:47.580
And then at that point,

1204
01:20:47.580 --> 01:20:49.660
you can have a more of authentic conversation

1205
01:20:49.660 --> 01:20:52.620
and you can share like, look, like I'm about learning more

1206
01:20:52.620 --> 01:20:53.660
about the here and now.

1207
01:20:53.660 --> 01:20:55.420
Yes, I'm marriage minded too,

1208
01:20:55.460 --> 01:20:59.180
but I think, you know, it's important to get to know

1209
01:20:59.180 --> 01:21:04.060
somebody and see, do you enjoy and get along with a person?

1210
01:21:04.060 --> 01:21:05.140
Because that's the person

1211
01:21:05.140 --> 01:21:06.780
you're spending the rest of your life with.

1212
01:21:06.780 --> 01:21:10.840
Ladies, you're gonna wanna like enjoy your husband.

1213
01:21:11.900 --> 01:21:14.580
Like, you're gonna be with him for the rest of your life.

1214
01:21:14.580 --> 01:21:16.960
Like, can you have fun with him?

1215
01:21:18.180 --> 01:21:21.540
Is he, like, can you have a good laugh?

1216
01:21:21.540 --> 01:21:24.180
Do you enjoy some of the same things?

1217
01:21:24.180 --> 01:21:25.580
And guess what, they're gonna be sometimes

1218
01:21:25.580 --> 01:21:28.180
that you're not gonna enjoy everything that they enjoy

1219
01:21:28.180 --> 01:21:30.900
and they're not gonna enjoy everything that you enjoy.

1220
01:21:30.900 --> 01:21:31.940
Like, and that's fine.

1221
01:21:31.940 --> 01:21:36.420
Like, can you hold a conversation with them?

1222
01:21:36.420 --> 01:21:40.860
What about them is exciting to learn about them?

1223
01:21:41.940 --> 01:21:46.940
Like, you want to be best friends with your husband.

1224
01:21:48.540 --> 01:21:50.820
So you're gonna have to go through that,

1225
01:21:50.820 --> 01:21:53.180
like getting to know you phase

1226
01:21:53.180 --> 01:21:54.800
without all the deep dive questions.

1227
01:21:54.800 --> 01:21:57.140
But again, I get it because my husband did the same thing.

1228
01:21:57.140 --> 01:21:58.700
I was like, whoa, dude.

1229
01:21:58.700 --> 01:22:02.020
Like, and so there is a softness that you can say like,

1230
01:22:02.020 --> 01:22:03.700
look, these are really great questions.

1231
01:22:03.700 --> 01:22:05.860
I'd love to answer these

1232
01:22:05.860 --> 01:22:08.180
once we've gotten to know each other a little more

1233
01:22:08.180 --> 01:22:10.660
or maybe once we can get on an in-person date

1234
01:22:10.660 --> 01:22:13.140
and we can see each other's like facial expressions

1235
01:22:13.140 --> 01:22:14.640
and body language.

1236
01:22:14.640 --> 01:22:18.460
Yes, I'm marriage minded, but I also wanna know that I,

1237
01:22:18.460 --> 01:22:22.220
you know, get along and can enjoy a person that I marry.

1238
01:22:23.300 --> 01:22:25.300
That we have some things in common.

1239
01:22:26.580 --> 01:22:29.000
Like, that's how I would approach that.

1240
01:22:30.420 --> 01:22:32.260
But yeah, I get it.

1241
01:22:33.460 --> 01:22:34.820
My husband did it too.

1242
01:22:37.860 --> 01:22:39.540
Leslie, how are you?

1243
01:22:41.860 --> 01:22:43.380
I'm good, how are you?

1244
01:22:43.380 --> 01:22:44.820
Good.

1245
01:22:44.820 --> 01:22:46.760
First, I am so grateful for this program

1246
01:22:46.760 --> 01:22:49.940
because online dating is ridiculous.

1247
01:22:49.940 --> 01:22:52.220
So I'm so grateful for this program

1248
01:22:52.260 --> 01:22:54.260
for just like giving some instructions.

1249
01:22:55.460 --> 01:22:57.780
So my question, I've been talking to a guy

1250
01:23:00.780 --> 01:23:02.100
on Zoom twice now.

1251
01:23:02.100 --> 01:23:03.180
We were gonna go on a real date,

1252
01:23:03.180 --> 01:23:05.580
but my daughter got sick and we couldn't go.

1253
01:23:06.660 --> 01:23:09.220
And I tend to be attracted to men

1254
01:23:09.220 --> 01:23:11.980
that are less than like emotionally available.

1255
01:23:11.980 --> 01:23:15.500
Like the types that are kind of standoffish, more shut out.

1256
01:23:15.500 --> 01:23:18.260
And so this guy is the exact opposite of that.

1257
01:23:18.260 --> 01:23:21.820
And he's like, so he just seems great.

1258
01:23:22.420 --> 01:23:26.260
He seems genuine, definitely a man of God, like really great.

1259
01:23:26.260 --> 01:23:29.020
Like my attraction to him is like 50%,

1260
01:23:29.020 --> 01:23:29.860
you know what I mean?

1261
01:23:29.860 --> 01:23:32.300
Like not the guy that I'm usually attracted to.

1262
01:23:34.100 --> 01:23:35.980
But what I guess is a little bit,

1263
01:23:35.980 --> 01:23:38.060
and I don't know if this is a red flag or a yellow flag

1264
01:23:38.060 --> 01:23:41.020
or no flag, I'm not sure, but he's just like all about me.

1265
01:23:41.020 --> 01:23:42.860
Like he's building a house right now.

1266
01:23:42.860 --> 01:23:46.100
And he's like, yeah, I'm building this.

1267
01:23:46.100 --> 01:23:47.940
And down the road, maybe I'll sell it

1268
01:23:47.940 --> 01:23:48.980
and we'll build our own house.

1269
01:23:48.980 --> 01:23:52.540
And I'm like, I'm like, what?

1270
01:23:52.540 --> 01:23:55.100
Because I like just got out of a relationship,

1271
01:23:55.100 --> 01:23:56.500
dated a guy for four and a half years

1272
01:23:56.500 --> 01:23:58.220
who like never asked me to marry him.

1273
01:23:58.220 --> 01:24:00.820
So I'm like, I'm trying to stick with that.

1274
01:24:00.820 --> 01:24:03.340
I feel like he's more like my type of attachment style,

1275
01:24:03.340 --> 01:24:05.340
which is this like anxious.

1276
01:24:05.340 --> 01:24:06.180
Which is-

1277
01:24:06.180 --> 01:24:07.020
Yeah, I was gonna say,

1278
01:24:07.020 --> 01:24:07.860
it sounds like he has a little bit of anxious.

1279
01:24:07.860 --> 01:24:09.420
And it's probably like, again,

1280
01:24:09.420 --> 01:24:11.820
like you said that you've been attracted

1281
01:24:11.820 --> 01:24:14.940
to some of maybe the avoidant attachment styles,

1282
01:24:14.940 --> 01:24:17.300
where now you're being, you know,

1283
01:24:17.300 --> 01:24:18.940
you're attracting some other ones.

1284
01:24:19.780 --> 01:24:22.460
And ladies, I will even say that happened to me is,

1285
01:24:22.460 --> 01:24:24.340
you know, when you get some heart healing,

1286
01:24:24.340 --> 01:24:28.660
you'll be surprised of what like you start attracting.

1287
01:24:28.660 --> 01:24:30.740
Like I started attracting much healthier men

1288
01:24:30.740 --> 01:24:31.940
than I did before.

1289
01:24:31.940 --> 01:24:34.780
And it's kind of what we go with the, you know,

1290
01:24:34.780 --> 01:24:37.180
Jackie says, what you believe you become

1291
01:24:37.180 --> 01:24:38.420
and what you become you attract.

1292
01:24:38.420 --> 01:24:41.340
So when we can break off some of the lies,

1293
01:24:41.340 --> 01:24:43.940
we no longer feel that we walk in that.

1294
01:24:43.940 --> 01:24:45.940
And then it's, we're no longer attracted to that.

1295
01:24:45.940 --> 01:24:48.060
And you'll probably find Leslie,

1296
01:24:48.100 --> 01:24:52.300
that as you date and get to know and chatting online,

1297
01:24:52.300 --> 01:24:54.900
that some of the guys that you used to be attracted to

1298
01:24:54.900 --> 01:24:56.300
that were avoidant,

1299
01:24:56.300 --> 01:24:58.980
you're not attracted to that style anymore.

1300
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.000
see that shift probably happen but with this guy this this guy who's you know so you guys have not

1301
01:25:06.000 --> 01:25:14.960
met in person so yeah i mean i wouldn't say that it is a you know a red flag i i would say that

1302
01:25:14.960 --> 01:25:24.480
it's a you know maybe like greenish yellow like we might be moving towards a yellow flag that you

1303
01:25:24.480 --> 01:25:32.720
know maybe he's just really excited um he's probably just sounds like he's really excited

1304
01:25:32.720 --> 01:25:39.680
like you're a gorgeous girl you know and and so i mean it's funny because my husband even just

1305
01:25:39.680 --> 01:25:45.680
broke down to me the other day you know and was like i honestly didn't even he's like i thought

1306
01:25:45.680 --> 01:25:51.040
you were completely out of my league i never thought you would pick me and he's like you know

1307
01:25:51.040 --> 01:25:56.880
you were the prettiest girl that i've ever dated and i was just like what like you know so and my

1308
01:25:56.880 --> 01:26:02.640
husband had some of those anxious you know things and i was just like oh that makes sense now um

1309
01:26:03.600 --> 01:26:08.880
so i would just say it's probably like a greenish yellow flag it's just something to kind of keep

1310
01:26:08.880 --> 01:26:15.200
an eye on i wouldn't say don't go out on a date with him get to know him this is where if you see

1311
01:26:15.200 --> 01:26:22.640
it showing up maybe just reassure him in ways of you know i i really noticed that you say

1312
01:26:22.640 --> 01:26:30.160
these things and i just um you know maybe a subtle way of saying like i'm really enjoying

1313
01:26:30.160 --> 01:26:39.040
getting to know you um i'm still just taking things slow so and you can be honest with him

1314
01:26:40.000 --> 01:26:45.920
when you mention things like this it throws me off a bit because i'm still trying to take

1315
01:26:45.920 --> 01:26:53.600
things slow like i want to get to know you i enjoy getting to know you but um i just want

1316
01:26:53.600 --> 01:26:59.680
to take some time to see where this is going to head i mean you again if you can do whatever that

1317
01:26:59.680 --> 01:27:07.280
you feel um whatever i don't want to put words in your mouth but again like i think too like you

1318
01:27:07.280 --> 01:27:12.080
guys say to be talking to other guys and i'm like if if he knows i'm talking to other guys is he

1319
01:27:12.080 --> 01:27:19.120
gonna like freak out like i just might weird like he might but then that's on him he might

1320
01:27:19.120 --> 01:27:25.440
and that's on him and again like you guys are not an exclusive relationship you don't have to

1321
01:27:26.080 --> 01:27:30.320
be committed to one person like because here's the thing ladies when you guys are dating

1322
01:27:30.320 --> 01:27:36.720
multiple people again we encourage that when y'all are dating at level two there's no physical

1323
01:27:36.720 --> 01:27:42.560
romantic contact happening y'all are not kissing these men so i want to just again i want to make

1324
01:27:42.560 --> 01:27:46.400
sure that we have that clear like when we're telling y'all to be you know you can date a

1325
01:27:46.400 --> 01:27:52.880
couple different guys at once you also are not kissing all these guys okay there's no romantical

1326
01:27:52.880 --> 01:28:01.840
like stuff happening okay now a handhold a hug possibly but we're not we're not kissing all right

1327
01:28:02.640 --> 01:28:10.400
so let's so again if someone is going to be offended because you're having conversations

1328
01:28:10.400 --> 01:28:17.440
and building relationships and friendships and getting to know people that that's not that's a

1329
01:28:17.440 --> 01:28:22.400
that's an offense that's a hard thing with them i mean the way i always look at it is ladies like

1330
01:28:23.280 --> 01:28:28.560
if you all are getting to know other women and friends like is your best friend going to be

1331
01:28:28.560 --> 01:28:33.440
offended because you're going out hanging out with another girlfriend and getting to know another

1332
01:28:33.440 --> 01:28:38.640
woman in a community no she's not going to get offended if anything she's probably be like yeah

1333
01:28:38.640 --> 01:28:43.840
join like join the sister squad right now obviously guys aren't going to be like yeah let's just you

1334
01:28:43.840 --> 01:28:51.040
know join in this like you know thing but again it's level two it's just getting to know you

1335
01:28:51.600 --> 01:28:57.440
and so if you have to kind of set a boundary of look i just want to be clear we're just getting

1336
01:28:57.440 --> 01:29:05.600
to know each other um i need to take things slow all right and you don't have you you don't have to

1337
01:29:05.600 --> 01:29:11.600
if guys are asking you ladies especially after a first or second date if you're dating other people

1338
01:29:13.360 --> 01:29:21.040
like i would say that's a yellow flag and be like well i mean we're not exclusive and i'm not ready

1339
01:29:21.040 --> 01:29:27.360
to be exclusive so i'm not sure why you're asking that i mean that's that's how i would

1340
01:29:27.360 --> 01:29:33.680
approach it i mean especially i mean i know some some ladies in this community they've been asked

1341
01:29:33.680 --> 01:29:39.040
that and they haven't even gone on a first date like why is a guy asking if you're talking to

1342
01:29:39.040 --> 01:29:46.400
somebody else and you haven't even been on one date with them so it's okay i would just say meet him

1343
01:29:46.400 --> 01:29:50.720
you know get to know him if you see that he's just kind of coming on too strong

1344
01:29:50.720 --> 01:29:54.400
set a healthy boundary let him know like look i'm enjoying getting to know you

1345
01:29:54.400 --> 01:29:59.840
i'm just not wanting to move in a fast pace like can we take things slow

1346
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.960
And again, see how he responds.

1347
01:30:03.960 --> 01:30:09.680
Ladies setting boundaries is really good because you're going to see how they respond and respect

1348
01:30:09.680 --> 01:30:10.680
those boundaries.

1349
01:30:10.680 --> 01:30:11.680
All right, Perla.

1350
01:30:11.680 --> 01:30:12.680
Hopefully that helped you, Leslie.

1351
01:30:12.680 --> 01:30:13.680
Did that?

1352
01:30:13.680 --> 01:30:14.680
Good.

1353
01:30:14.680 --> 01:30:15.680
Thank you.

1354
01:30:15.680 --> 01:30:16.680
Thanks.

1355
01:30:16.680 --> 01:30:17.680
Good.

1356
01:30:17.680 --> 01:30:18.680
Good.

1357
01:30:18.680 --> 01:30:19.680
Good.

1358
01:30:19.680 --> 01:30:20.680
Good.

1359
01:30:20.680 --> 01:30:21.680
All right, Perla, how are you?

1360
01:30:21.680 --> 01:30:22.680
Hey, Carla.

1361
01:30:22.680 --> 01:30:23.680
I'm good.

1362
01:30:23.680 --> 01:30:24.680
How are you?

1363
01:30:24.680 --> 01:30:25.680
Good.

1364
01:30:25.680 --> 01:30:26.680
Good.

1365
01:30:26.680 --> 01:30:27.680
Good.

1366
01:30:27.680 --> 01:30:28.680
Well, you wanted me to hop on here.

1367
01:30:28.680 --> 01:30:31.420
So I wanted to talk to you about it kind of goes in line with what people have been asking

1368
01:30:31.420 --> 01:30:35.320
about the Catholic thing.

1369
01:30:35.320 --> 01:30:40.960
And just to clarify on my post, like online dating has been daunting.

1370
01:30:40.960 --> 01:30:41.960
It's insane.

1371
01:30:41.960 --> 01:30:44.200
And I obviously haven't gone out with the guys that I listed.

1372
01:30:44.200 --> 01:30:47.960
I just wanted to share a little bit about my experience.

1373
01:30:47.960 --> 01:30:52.920
But this Okay, so the Catholic guy is the one that's like standing out the most the

1374
01:30:52.920 --> 01:30:56.080
one that's like been consistent texting every day.

1375
01:30:56.080 --> 01:30:59.320
We've had to zoom date.

1376
01:30:59.320 --> 01:31:01.840
And they've been great.

1377
01:31:01.840 --> 01:31:03.240
All good things.

1378
01:31:03.240 --> 01:31:10.520
I already know, like, I just from our conversations and things he's shared, like I can gauge that

1379
01:31:10.520 --> 01:31:16.760
it's a traditional, it's more of like a tradition rather than like relationship.

1380
01:31:16.760 --> 01:31:22.280
And also just certain aspects of like what I mentioned that are fundamentally different

1381
01:31:22.280 --> 01:31:27.440
than what I like, you know, what I would be looking for in a partner.

1382
01:31:27.440 --> 01:31:31.320
But I mean, so my question is, he's trying to fly out.

1383
01:31:31.320 --> 01:31:33.000
He lives in Arizona.

1384
01:31:33.000 --> 01:31:40.480
And he's trying to he's been like asking for time to come out here and take me out.

1385
01:31:40.480 --> 01:31:46.640
And so for me, I'm like, if I already see this, is it you know, it's like a money investment

1386
01:31:46.640 --> 01:31:47.640
for him.

1387
01:31:47.640 --> 01:31:48.640
investment.

1388
01:31:48.640 --> 01:31:53.520
Do I go further with this or?

1389
01:31:53.520 --> 01:31:54.520
Okay, yeah.

1390
01:31:54.520 --> 01:31:56.560
So your situation is a little bit different.

1391
01:31:56.560 --> 01:31:57.680
So I'm seeing that now.

1392
01:31:57.680 --> 01:32:01.720
So thank you for coming in and giving us more detail on that, because this this gives me

1393
01:32:01.720 --> 01:32:03.640
a lot more perspective.

1394
01:32:03.640 --> 01:32:09.000
So yeah, it sounds like you guys have probably already exchanged and had conversation about

1395
01:32:09.000 --> 01:32:12.800
faith a little bit, not not too deep.

1396
01:32:12.800 --> 01:32:19.360
And I haven't been like, the bulldozing question type, but, but just gauging from like, what

1397
01:32:19.360 --> 01:32:20.360
he has shared.

1398
01:32:20.360 --> 01:32:26.600
And yeah, and like, when I'm sharing about what I'm doing, because I'm very open, like,

1399
01:32:26.600 --> 01:32:28.160
hey, what did you do tonight?

1400
01:32:28.160 --> 01:32:29.160
worship night?

1401
01:32:29.160 --> 01:32:31.960
His eyes kind of like, what's his response?

1402
01:32:31.960 --> 01:32:32.960
What's his response?

1403
01:32:32.960 --> 01:32:35.680
When you share how your face shows up in your life?

1404
01:32:35.680 --> 01:32:37.360
How does he respond to that?

1405
01:32:37.360 --> 01:32:43.240
It's positive, but it's also kind of like the gloss overlook, like, a lack of understanding

1406
01:32:43.240 --> 01:32:44.240
it.

1407
01:32:44.240 --> 01:32:45.240
Okay.

1408
01:32:45.240 --> 01:32:48.960
And so I'm not, like, I don't shut that down.

1409
01:32:48.960 --> 01:32:54.880
But also, it's kind of like, I kind of do I want someone to speak my spiritual language,

1410
01:32:54.880 --> 01:32:55.880
right?

1411
01:32:55.880 --> 01:32:57.760
And I'm gonna not get that.

1412
01:32:57.760 --> 01:33:01.760
But again, like, that's where I, you know, again, I brought up, you know, even what Bethany

1413
01:33:01.760 --> 01:33:07.200
shared, and I'll even share my own personal stuff is, you know, um, you know, Bethany

1414
01:33:07.200 --> 01:33:11.520
married Brian, who was Methodist, and does he act in the prophetic, like the way that

1415
01:33:11.520 --> 01:33:18.160
she does know, but he still has gifts, and attributes that really balance her out.

1416
01:33:18.160 --> 01:33:24.280
I'm also learning like, with my husband, like, the way his relationship with the Lord looks

1417
01:33:24.280 --> 01:33:28.320
completely different than the way that I connect with the Lord.

1418
01:33:28.320 --> 01:33:31.680
But we, we compliment each other on that.

1419
01:33:32.600 --> 01:33:38.240
So that's why, like, we, we emphasize that, you know, yes, like, you know, we may have

1420
01:33:38.240 --> 01:33:43.040
this idea, like, okay, like, they see it the same spiritually way that we do, but it's

1421
01:33:43.040 --> 01:33:48.440
more of, do they have a heart posture and a desire to know the Lord?

1422
01:33:48.440 --> 01:33:51.240
And are they moving in that forward direction?

1423
01:33:51.240 --> 01:33:52.240
That's what you're looking for?

1424
01:33:52.240 --> 01:33:58.200
Do you all have the same beliefs about Jesus and those kinds of things?

1425
01:33:58.200 --> 01:34:03.600
Like, is he believed that Jesus is the Son of God and came to save and he died on the

1426
01:34:03.600 --> 01:34:10.120
cross for our sins, like those type of things, and, and he's walking in that.

1427
01:34:10.120 --> 01:34:17.040
And so that is where it's hard to really gauge where this guy is at.

1428
01:34:17.040 --> 01:34:19.760
It sounds like it's possible.

1429
01:34:19.760 --> 01:34:21.680
It's maybe all he knows.

1430
01:34:21.680 --> 01:34:22.680
Right?

1431
01:34:22.680 --> 01:34:23.680
Yeah.

1432
01:34:23.680 --> 01:34:28.880
And so it's really hard to see where he's going, because again, you'll hear Jackie ladies

1433
01:34:28.880 --> 01:34:31.040
say that it's not about where they've been.

1434
01:34:31.040 --> 01:34:32.040
It's about where they're going.

1435
01:34:32.040 --> 01:34:34.840
And is it in the same direction that you're going?

1436
01:34:34.840 --> 01:34:38.720
And you're not always going to know that right off the bat.

1437
01:34:38.720 --> 01:34:47.920
And so, you know, I think for you, if he's, if he is willing to come out and see you,

1438
01:34:47.920 --> 01:34:50.400
he's, he's okay with taking a risk.

1439
01:34:50.640 --> 01:34:55.960
Here's the thing, regardless, if it was the spiritual stuff and the religion and things

1440
01:34:55.960 --> 01:35:00.000
of that nature, you know, my husband took a risk.

1441
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:05.400
flying to come see me and we kind of knew we were on the same thing but you

1442
01:35:05.400 --> 01:35:10.280
know he was coming for work and the weekend that he was supposed to be here

1443
01:35:10.280 --> 01:35:15.360
was the weekend that I had my young my son and I was taking my son to Orlando

1444
01:35:15.360 --> 01:35:19.960
to go see for King and country in concert and so when my husband was like

1445
01:35:19.960 --> 01:35:23.800
I'm not gonna probably get to see you because you have your son that weekend

1446
01:35:23.800 --> 01:35:29.960
without even asking me he went ahead and just broke his trip up into two separate

1447
01:35:29.960 --> 01:35:37.240
trips he came the weekend prior stayed left for that following weekend came

1448
01:35:37.240 --> 01:35:44.000
back so he was here for a second weekend he took a risk I mean he had two kids

1449
01:35:44.000 --> 01:35:51.000
that he was leaving in Texas to come spend time with me and so the men like

1450
01:35:51.000 --> 01:35:56.040
allow the man to if he wants to take a risk that's on him you do not have to

1451
01:35:56.040 --> 01:36:00.600
hold guilt for that now in the back of your mind are these things going to be

1452
01:36:00.600 --> 01:36:05.640
important as you continue to get to know him I think as you move through that

1453
01:36:05.640 --> 01:36:12.300
level two relationship that if there is a conversation that you know as you're

1454
01:36:12.300 --> 01:36:16.760
moving are you going to continue to go in level two possibly hit level three

1455
01:36:16.760 --> 01:36:22.280
and yes you're gonna have to have that conversation of hey I really enjoy

1456
01:36:22.280 --> 01:36:27.440
getting to know you I know we talked a little bit about faith and you know I've

1457
01:36:27.440 --> 01:36:34.240
shared with you of how it shows up in my life you know I'm I you know you can

1458
01:36:34.240 --> 01:36:38.680
just be honest like I'm not sure what that would look like with us moving

1459
01:36:38.680 --> 01:36:43.640
forward as again as you're getting to know him like you're not gonna throw all

1460
01:36:43.640 --> 01:36:47.120
these dump all these questions in the beginning but it's okay if he takes a

1461
01:36:47.120 --> 01:36:51.480
risk to come see you and you guys get to know each other because at some point

1462
01:36:51.800 --> 01:36:56.600
before you hit exclusivity with any of you ladies before you ever have an

1463
01:36:56.600 --> 01:37:00.600
exclusive level three relationship it's going to be important to have certain

1464
01:37:00.600 --> 01:37:04.000
conversations with these guys before saying yes I want to be exclusive with

1465
01:37:04.000 --> 01:37:09.440
you because again yes I want to be exclusive and this is what I'm looking

1466
01:37:09.440 --> 01:37:16.360
for like those types of conversations will be had and then when you're in

1467
01:37:16.360 --> 01:37:22.360
level three you're still deciding is this going to move towards engagement is

1468
01:37:22.360 --> 01:37:28.720
that on the same path and ladies I can't tell you how many times women have been

1469
01:37:28.720 --> 01:37:32.360
in exclusive level three relationships that they believe that we're gonna move

1470
01:37:32.360 --> 01:37:38.520
into an engagement many of the women and men went into Simbis that's another

1471
01:37:38.520 --> 01:37:45.160
class or course that we offer when you are in a marriage-minded relationship if

1472
01:37:45.280 --> 01:37:50.480
you and that person want to then take a course it's called Simbis it's save your

1473
01:37:50.480 --> 01:37:55.880
marriage before it starts I went through it with my husband and we had several

1474
01:37:55.880 --> 01:38:02.520
couples in our sessions and by the end of that six weeks I would say more than

1475
01:38:02.520 --> 01:38:07.480
half of them split up and decided that they were not marriage like they they

1476
01:38:07.480 --> 01:38:12.080
weren't heading towards engagement there were things that came up that were they

1477
01:38:12.080 --> 01:38:19.400
realized marriage is not for us so again like you're not always gonna know

1478
01:38:19.400 --> 01:38:26.200
right away whether or not it's your forever spirit mate it's it's again it's

1479
01:38:26.200 --> 01:38:30.320
that process of going through and learning more about the person so I

1480
01:38:30.320 --> 01:38:35.640
don't think there's any harm in him coming to visit you as long as you know

1481
01:38:35.640 --> 01:38:41.000
again you're making it very clear of what the what him visiting you is going

1482
01:38:41.000 --> 01:38:46.200
to look like it's he's not staying at your house all right you're not on you

1483
01:38:46.200 --> 01:38:53.240
know six-hour dates and you know it he needs to realize like if you want to

1484
01:38:53.240 --> 01:38:58.520
come out and meet me that you know this is what this is when I can see you this

1485
01:38:58.520 --> 01:39:02.320
is when I can meet with you but you're not gonna be you're not gonna be on a

1486
01:39:02.320 --> 01:39:14.880
first date for six or eight hours does that help yeah yeah I'm I come from a

1487
01:39:14.880 --> 01:39:20.760
background of like hey no missionary dating like I'm trying to not be

1488
01:39:20.760 --> 01:39:26.440
respectful of like this person and like enjoy it because I am and he's obviously

1489
01:39:26.440 --> 01:39:30.640
like I don't want he's obviously he's very good-looking like all of the things

1490
01:39:30.640 --> 01:39:35.440
all of the other boxes but then there's this one thing I'm like do I just the

1491
01:39:35.440 --> 01:39:41.520
attachment that comes with that and so yeah that's more but okay yeah no and I

1492
01:39:41.520 --> 01:39:44.600
agree ladies we don't want y'all missionary dating and trying to convert

1493
01:39:44.600 --> 01:39:52.400
these men yeah you that is not your role okay like you know that's not gonna put

1494
01:39:52.400 --> 01:39:57.440
you like you know to go you know change the heart of men through the guys that

1495
01:39:57.440 --> 01:40:01.720
you're dating like that's just not like no

1496
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:06.400
You know, there's a whole other lane for, you know, evangelizing and, you know, bringing

1497
01:40:06.400 --> 01:40:10.480
people to Jesus and Jesus is not going to have you doing that in your dating.

1498
01:40:10.480 --> 01:40:11.480
Okay.

1499
01:40:11.480 --> 01:40:12.480
So I totally get that.

1500
01:40:12.480 --> 01:40:19.760
But again, I think, you know, just let him come visit, enjoy it, just enjoy having time

1501
01:40:19.760 --> 01:40:21.880
getting to know someone again.

1502
01:40:21.880 --> 01:40:27.960
You know, it's, it's okay if he's, he's taking that risk and again, you guys can have more

1503
01:40:27.960 --> 01:40:32.760
conversation and, you know, as you get to know each other, you can share your heart

1504
01:40:32.760 --> 01:40:37.760
and you know, what your desire is when you're in relationship with people and what that

1505
01:40:37.760 --> 01:40:38.760
looks like.

1506
01:40:38.760 --> 01:40:43.400
And, you know, and see again, cause you guys haven't met in person.

1507
01:40:43.400 --> 01:40:48.300
So again, maybe once you have some more conversation about what, you know, your faith looks like

1508
01:40:48.300 --> 01:40:53.600
and how it shows up and you went to worship night and you can ask him questions and ask

1509
01:40:53.600 --> 01:40:57.560
him, like, you know, I'm curious when I, when I share some of this, like, what are

1510
01:40:57.560 --> 01:41:00.400
your thoughts on that?

1511
01:41:00.400 --> 01:41:03.680
Like what are your thoughts on worship nights?

1512
01:41:03.680 --> 01:41:05.400
Have you ever experienced that?

1513
01:41:05.400 --> 01:41:07.240
Like just get his insight.

1514
01:41:07.240 --> 01:41:13.960
Cause again, you never know what God was doing in his heart previous and where his religious

1515
01:41:13.960 --> 01:41:14.960
background is.

1516
01:41:14.960 --> 01:41:18.880
If there was any hurt or trauma in that, we just, we never know.

1517
01:41:18.880 --> 01:41:24.760
When you're not coming at the posture to convert him, just wanting to get to know him

1518
01:41:24.760 --> 01:41:27.680
and get an idea of where he's at.

1519
01:41:27.680 --> 01:41:31.880
And then as you get to know each other, then you guys can decide of whether or not, you

1520
01:41:31.880 --> 01:41:36.360
know, if you might have to say, look, like my concern is, you know, we're not on the

1521
01:41:36.360 --> 01:41:42.900
same page in our walk of faith and I'm not sure where this, what this would look like

1522
01:41:42.900 --> 01:41:44.440
in a romantic relationship.

1523
01:41:45.440 --> 01:41:50.440
But again, it's so early on, like having those conversations, they sometimes just don't even

1524
01:41:50.440 --> 01:41:52.440
need to be had right away.

1525
01:41:52.440 --> 01:41:53.440
Right now.

1526
01:41:53.440 --> 01:41:54.440
Okay.

1527
01:41:54.440 --> 01:41:59.720
Keep us posted on everything that transpires and again, and pray about it.

1528
01:41:59.720 --> 01:42:07.320
You know, if, if, if God does not want him coming, then ask the Lord to shut that door

1529
01:42:07.320 --> 01:42:11.000
and you don't have to do anything to make that happen.

1530
01:42:11.000 --> 01:42:18.360
Supernaturally God can do whatever it is that he needs to do, but again, he could Holy

1531
01:42:18.360 --> 01:42:19.360
Ghost you.

1532
01:42:19.360 --> 01:42:20.360
Yeah.

1533
01:42:20.360 --> 01:42:21.360
Don't, don't Holy Ghost him.

1534
01:42:21.360 --> 01:42:22.360
All right.

1535
01:42:22.360 --> 01:42:23.360
We're not Holy Ghosting him.

1536
01:42:23.360 --> 01:42:24.360
I will not.

1537
01:42:24.360 --> 01:42:25.360
Thanks Carla.

1538
01:42:25.360 --> 01:42:26.360
I appreciate it.

1539
01:42:26.360 --> 01:42:27.360
You are welcome.

1540
01:42:27.360 --> 01:42:28.360
All right, Liz, you're my last one.

1541
01:42:28.360 --> 01:42:29.360
How are you?

1542
01:42:29.360 --> 01:42:33.440
I'm good Carla.

1543
01:42:33.440 --> 01:42:38.560
If you have to go again, I know we go pretty long, but I, I always love to make sure that

1544
01:42:38.560 --> 01:42:40.360
I leave space for you ladies.

1545
01:42:40.720 --> 01:42:42.720
All right, Liz, how are you?

1546
01:42:42.720 --> 01:42:43.720
Thanks Carla.

1547
01:42:43.720 --> 01:42:44.720
I'm good.

1548
01:42:44.720 --> 01:42:48.080
I have a, I have a thank you, an update and a question.

1549
01:42:48.080 --> 01:42:53.880
So my thank you is I just really appreciate like how you guys have been coaching us with

1550
01:42:53.880 --> 01:43:00.080
the it's a yes until it's a no thing because there's this guy I'm on day eight with and

1551
01:43:00.080 --> 01:43:02.240
initially I wasn't attracted to him.

1552
01:43:02.240 --> 01:43:06.760
Initially I was like, I don't know, felt really uncertain about it and at a few junctures

1553
01:43:06.760 --> 01:43:11.360
almost kind of like cut it off because I just really felt unsure and it wasn't feeling

1554
01:43:11.360 --> 01:43:12.360
that deep connection.

1555
01:43:12.360 --> 01:43:13.760
Kind of like you're talking about women.

1556
01:43:13.760 --> 01:43:16.680
Sometimes it takes us longer to feel connected.

1557
01:43:16.680 --> 01:43:19.660
So I'm like, wow, I just appreciate that wisdom so much.

1558
01:43:19.660 --> 01:43:25.920
That's how I made it to date eight and at this juncture I'm just seeing like so many

1559
01:43:25.920 --> 01:43:31.200
different things in this guy that I am like, wow, I'm really attracted to him now.

1560
01:43:31.200 --> 01:43:38.160
So I am, I do some overseas ministry with a nonprofit that does work in East Africa

1561
01:43:38.160 --> 01:43:45.560
and I'm actually leaving on a trip tomorrow for that, a three week trip and, and after

1562
01:43:45.560 --> 01:43:50.800
I had a date with this man on Saturday and he knew I was leaving for this trip and had

1563
01:43:50.800 --> 01:43:55.080
asked me like, you know, what kind of donations and stuff that we're taking over there.

1564
01:43:56.080 --> 01:44:02.120
And then he went around and like collected a whole bunch of donations himself and like

1565
01:44:02.120 --> 01:44:03.640
some of his coworkers chipped in.

1566
01:44:03.640 --> 01:44:08.200
And so he showed up yesterday, like text me and said, Hey, I'm going to, you know, I can

1567
01:44:08.200 --> 01:44:09.200
drop off this thing.

1568
01:44:09.200 --> 01:44:10.200
And I was like, oh cool.

1569
01:44:10.200 --> 01:44:17.280
And he comes by and he has like, like almost a half suitcase worth of stuff from my list,

1570
01:44:17.280 --> 01:44:20.240
you know, that I had just kind of mentioned offhand, not thinking that like, you know,

1571
01:44:20.240 --> 01:44:21.240
I just thought he was curious.

1572
01:44:21.240 --> 01:44:28.000
I didn't realize he was like really wanting, being really intentional and that kindness

1573
01:44:28.000 --> 01:44:29.160
and that server heartedness.

1574
01:44:29.160 --> 01:44:33.040
I was like, wow, I'm starting to feel really attracted to this man.

1575
01:44:33.040 --> 01:44:36.240
And he's just really kind and consistent.

1576
01:44:36.240 --> 01:44:39.960
So yeah, I leave, I leave tomorrow on that trip.

1577
01:44:39.960 --> 01:44:44.360
My question is, I'm like watching my internal stuff, right.

1578
01:44:44.360 --> 01:44:45.360
And I'm like, okay, yeah.

1579
01:44:45.360 --> 01:44:46.360
Wow.

1580
01:44:46.360 --> 01:44:47.360
I'm starting to really be into him.

1581
01:44:47.360 --> 01:44:50.040
I'm crushing on him and all that.

1582
01:44:50.040 --> 01:44:52.040
But up to this point, I felt like pretty chill inside.

1583
01:44:52.040 --> 01:44:55.640
Is this the guy that you guys also were like going out, working out and you were like,

1584
01:44:55.640 --> 01:44:56.640
not sure.

1585
01:44:56.640 --> 01:44:57.640
Yes.

1586
01:44:57.640 --> 01:44:58.640
This is the same one.

1587
01:44:58.640 --> 01:44:59.640
This is the same man.

1588
01:44:59.640 --> 01:44:59.640


1589
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:03.640
He's just taking some time, like he's taking some time.

1590
01:45:03.640 --> 01:45:04.880
He's a slow pacer.

1591
01:45:04.880 --> 01:45:06.640
He's a very slow pacer.

1592
01:45:06.640 --> 01:45:09.080
And he's the one, I don't know if I had mentioned

1593
01:45:09.080 --> 01:45:10.280
when I was processing previously,

1594
01:45:10.280 --> 01:45:13.600
where he had a bit of a pass.

1595
01:45:13.600 --> 01:45:16.280
And I think I'm, it sounds like I'm the first,

1596
01:45:16.280 --> 01:45:18.480
like kind of godly woman he's pursuing

1597
01:45:18.480 --> 01:45:20.440
since he met the Lord like four years ago.

1598
01:45:20.440 --> 01:45:25.440
So, I mean, like, okay, slow makes sense in that context.

1599
01:45:25.720 --> 01:45:26.840
Yeah.

1600
01:45:26.840 --> 01:45:30.680
And yeah, so inside of myself,

1601
01:45:30.680 --> 01:45:32.280
I felt really neutral, really chill.

1602
01:45:32.280 --> 01:45:33.920
And then now that the like,

1603
01:45:33.920 --> 01:45:35.520
oh, the interest is growing in me,

1604
01:45:35.520 --> 01:45:37.440
the crush is growing in me,

1605
01:45:37.440 --> 01:45:40.400
now I'm starting to feel like nervous.

1606
01:45:40.400 --> 01:45:41.800
I don't know if that makes sense.

1607
01:45:41.800 --> 01:45:43.960
Like, I guess, cause you, you know, right?

1608
01:45:43.960 --> 01:45:45.520
You like him more.

1609
01:45:45.520 --> 01:45:46.960
And so there's more of a thing in me

1610
01:45:46.960 --> 01:45:48.160
of like wanting it to work out.

1611
01:45:48.160 --> 01:45:50.400
And then I think also more thoughts coming up in me

1612
01:45:50.400 --> 01:45:52.120
of like all the other times,

1613
01:45:52.120 --> 01:45:54.200
like I've been into someone and it hasn't worked out.

1614
01:45:54.200 --> 01:45:57.560
So there's almost this like fear of like,

1615
01:45:57.560 --> 01:45:59.000
oh, now I really like him.

1616
01:45:59.000 --> 01:46:01.640
And then something's going to happen.

1617
01:46:01.640 --> 01:46:03.080
I don't know if that makes sense.

1618
01:46:03.080 --> 01:46:06.040
So maybe how to steward my internal world.

1619
01:46:06.040 --> 01:46:08.360
Okay, now is the shoe going to drop?

1620
01:46:08.360 --> 01:46:10.160
Yeah, yeah.

1621
01:46:10.160 --> 01:46:11.000
Like, right.

1622
01:46:11.000 --> 01:46:14.480
And remembering other times that it did.

1623
01:46:14.480 --> 01:46:17.040
And like, you know, I don't want that to taint my interaction

1624
01:46:17.040 --> 01:46:20.720
or to become like, yeah, I don't know.

1625
01:46:20.720 --> 01:46:23.080
Well, I mean, obviously you've had eight dates with this guy.

1626
01:46:23.080 --> 01:46:25.800
There is a level of comfort with him.

1627
01:46:25.800 --> 01:46:28.280
I think it'll be interesting

1628
01:46:28.280 --> 01:46:30.480
and good for the two of you to kind of see

1629
01:46:31.800 --> 01:46:33.560
these next three weeks that you're gone,

1630
01:46:33.560 --> 01:46:35.720
like what transpires.

1631
01:46:35.720 --> 01:46:37.880
So do you all have a plan

1632
01:46:37.880 --> 01:46:39.800
on how you're going to stay connected?

1633
01:46:41.160 --> 01:46:42.000
We don't.

1634
01:46:42.000 --> 01:46:45.000
So maybe that's something else I could get input on.

1635
01:46:45.000 --> 01:46:47.960
I am leading a team and it is East Africa.

1636
01:46:47.960 --> 01:46:51.920
So I won't have connectivity like so much.

1637
01:46:53.160 --> 01:46:55.600
But I would envision or want to, you know,

1638
01:46:55.600 --> 01:46:58.840
keep chatting with him and I could, yeah.

1639
01:46:58.840 --> 01:46:59.680
What do you think?

1640
01:46:59.680 --> 01:47:00.800
You have no way of like texting,

1641
01:47:00.800 --> 01:47:03.080
like obviously no texting, no phone calls.

1642
01:47:04.280 --> 01:47:06.880
I can do it via, like he has iPhone thankfully.

1643
01:47:06.880 --> 01:47:08.520
So I can do it via data.

1644
01:47:08.520 --> 01:47:12.000
Like I can, I message everywhere that I am.

1645
01:47:12.000 --> 01:47:13.640
And then if I'm somewhere with wifi,

1646
01:47:13.640 --> 01:47:16.000
then I have the potential to call.

1647
01:47:16.000 --> 01:47:17.840
Yeah, I would just have a conversation with him

1648
01:47:17.840 --> 01:47:19.480
and just being like, look, I know we've been, you know,

1649
01:47:19.480 --> 01:47:21.080
we've had, you know, several dates.

1650
01:47:21.080 --> 01:47:22.440
I mean, how, what,

1651
01:47:22.440 --> 01:47:25.760
has it been like at least a month or two?

1652
01:47:25.760 --> 01:47:28.880
Yeah, we started hanging out the very end of December.

1653
01:47:28.880 --> 01:47:32.200
So we're a month and a half in of hanging out.

1654
01:47:32.200 --> 01:47:33.520
Month and a half in and just be like,

1655
01:47:33.520 --> 01:47:35.520
hey, like I know I'm going to be gone for, you know,

1656
01:47:35.520 --> 01:47:39.200
three weeks and, you know, I'm curious on, you know,

1657
01:47:40.360 --> 01:47:42.640
how we can continue to stay connected.

1658
01:47:42.640 --> 01:47:45.320
Is there, you know, and just being,

1659
01:47:45.320 --> 01:47:46.160
just be real with him.

1660
01:47:46.160 --> 01:47:48.480
Like, look, I want to continue

1661
01:47:48.480 --> 01:47:50.360
to have communication with you.

1662
01:47:51.880 --> 01:47:53.840
This is maybe what it's going to look like.

1663
01:47:53.840 --> 01:47:55.240
What are your thoughts?

1664
01:47:55.240 --> 01:47:59.160
Like get some feedback on what that looks like.

1665
01:47:59.160 --> 01:48:01.120
And just, you know, and just express to him like,

1666
01:48:01.120 --> 01:48:03.640
look, I want to, I'm going to want to stay connected.

1667
01:48:03.640 --> 01:48:05.760
I hope you understand.

1668
01:48:05.760 --> 01:48:08.320
I may not have access all the time,

1669
01:48:08.320 --> 01:48:10.400
but because we have iPhones,

1670
01:48:10.400 --> 01:48:13.000
I should be able to use data here and there.

1671
01:48:14.800 --> 01:48:17.760
And just, yeah, and try to stay connected that way.

1672
01:48:17.760 --> 01:48:20.520
How often do you guys talk now?

1673
01:48:21.480 --> 01:48:24.880
Nowadays, it's, I would say more like every day

1674
01:48:24.880 --> 01:48:26.400
or every other day.

1675
01:48:26.400 --> 01:48:27.920
It was very slow on wrapping

1676
01:48:27.920 --> 01:48:29.320
to that level of communication.

1677
01:48:29.320 --> 01:48:31.640
But I, yeah, now like-

1678
01:48:31.640 --> 01:48:33.080
It's like every day, every other day.

1679
01:48:33.080 --> 01:48:35.200
Okay, so yeah, and just say, you know,

1680
01:48:36.480 --> 01:48:37.680
yeah, and just ask him like, you know,

1681
01:48:37.680 --> 01:48:39.400
what are your thoughts about us, you know,

1682
01:48:39.400 --> 01:48:40.920
communicating while I'm gone?

1683
01:48:40.920 --> 01:48:42.560
Like, you know, we've been communicating

1684
01:48:42.560 --> 01:48:44.600
like every other day or every day.

1685
01:48:44.600 --> 01:48:48.680
Like, I just want you to be aware of what,

1686
01:48:48.680 --> 01:48:50.720
what this looks like when I'm over there.

1687
01:48:51.360 --> 01:48:55.280
And I'm interested in our communication as is,

1688
01:48:55.280 --> 01:48:57.640
are you okay if it's a bit spotty?

1689
01:48:57.640 --> 01:48:59.760
And what that looks like.

1690
01:48:59.760 --> 01:49:00.600
Okay.

1691
01:49:00.600 --> 01:49:01.440
I think it's okay to start having

1692
01:49:01.440 --> 01:49:02.560
those conversations with him,

1693
01:49:02.560 --> 01:49:05.680
because I think now you're almost two months in,

1694
01:49:05.680 --> 01:49:08.200
you know, you start seeing like, you know,

1695
01:49:08.200 --> 01:49:11.960
you guys can, at this point, in this stage of level two

1696
01:49:11.960 --> 01:49:14.080
is when you're going to start drawing out

1697
01:49:14.080 --> 01:49:15.920
some more of those conversations.

1698
01:49:15.920 --> 01:49:17.440
And so it'll be interesting to see

1699
01:49:17.440 --> 01:49:19.880
while you're gone for those three weeks,

1700
01:49:19.920 --> 01:49:23.760
does the interaction continue to stay the same?

1701
01:49:23.760 --> 01:49:25.240
Does it grow more?

1702
01:49:26.560 --> 01:49:29.000
Is the heart going to grow fonder now that,

1703
01:49:29.000 --> 01:49:30.880
you know, you guys aren't able to see each other

1704
01:49:30.880 --> 01:49:31.920
in three weeks?

1705
01:49:31.920 --> 01:49:32.800
Right.

1706
01:49:32.800 --> 01:49:34.760
Or is it going to taper off that when you get back?

1707
01:49:34.760 --> 01:49:36.760
I mean, you never know what that looks like.

1708
01:49:36.760 --> 01:49:38.640
And so I think having communication

1709
01:49:40.000 --> 01:49:41.920
before you go is important.

1710
01:49:42.960 --> 01:49:43.960
Okay.

1711
01:49:43.960 --> 01:49:45.600
And just engaging on that.

1712
01:49:45.600 --> 01:49:48.240
And as far as the nerves, like,

1713
01:49:48.240 --> 01:49:49.960
again, you're God defended.

1714
01:49:49.960 --> 01:49:50.800
All right.

1715
01:49:50.800 --> 01:49:52.440
I think this is even,

1716
01:49:52.440 --> 01:49:57.200
even if this doesn't go proceed,

1717
01:49:57.200 --> 01:49:59.840
I think there's been growth and learning.

1718
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:05.080
healing in your journey with this guy and, and that's good.

1719
01:50:05.280 --> 01:50:05.880
Okay.

1720
01:50:06.200 --> 01:50:10.440
But it sounds to me, it sounds like there's a lot of green flags in this.

1721
01:50:10.480 --> 01:50:16.280
He is more of a slow get things going, but again, you also understand why that

1722
01:50:16.280 --> 01:50:19.720
is, is because of where he's been.

1723
01:50:19.720 --> 01:50:24.160
And so I think having consideration and compassion for that is good.

1724
01:50:24.640 --> 01:50:29.320
Um, I would just, again, as you guys are growing and getting to know each other,

1725
01:50:29.640 --> 01:50:35.360
you know, does he have moments of opening up to you and sharing more personal

1726
01:50:35.360 --> 01:50:35.840
things?

1727
01:50:35.880 --> 01:50:38.920
Is he, you know, is he focused on future?

1728
01:50:38.920 --> 01:50:40.320
Is he got that?

1729
01:50:40.440 --> 01:50:45.000
Cause again, we're talking about the three M's masculine, mature, and

1730
01:50:45.000 --> 01:50:46.080
is he marriage minded?

1731
01:50:46.520 --> 01:50:49.720
Is he going to have conversations like about the future with you?

1732
01:50:50.280 --> 01:50:55.000
Is he setting himself up so that that is something he's working towards?

1733
01:50:55.840 --> 01:50:59.600
You know, those are, those are good things to keep an eye out.

1734
01:51:01.560 --> 01:51:05.960
And then just again, like ladies, I emphasize all the time, keep showing up,

1735
01:51:06.320 --> 01:51:12.720
letting us know what's happening in your world and in the posts coming to lives,

1736
01:51:13.200 --> 01:51:16.320
you know, letting us know, show up ladies show up.

1737
01:51:16.320 --> 01:51:19.320
And I only know I've got a few of you on here now, cause it's, it's, we're,

1738
01:51:19.360 --> 01:51:24.440
we're running on almost two hours here again, show up several times a week in

1739
01:51:24.440 --> 01:51:29.000
the app, you know, get stay, stay in community with us.

1740
01:51:29.960 --> 01:51:30.640
Okay.

1741
01:51:31.880 --> 01:51:32.680
All right.

1742
01:51:33.360 --> 01:51:33.760
All right.

1743
01:51:33.760 --> 01:51:35.520
Well, ladies, thank you so much.

1744
01:51:35.560 --> 01:51:37.480
It's always such a pleasure to be on.

1745
01:51:37.480 --> 01:51:39.480
I just enjoy y'all so much.

1746
01:51:39.880 --> 01:51:41.920
So don't forget your activations.

1747
01:51:41.920 --> 01:51:45.200
We're doing a 30 day negativity fast.

1748
01:51:46.240 --> 01:51:48.800
All right, go listen to supernatural Saturday.

1749
01:51:49.640 --> 01:51:50.040
Okay.

1750
01:51:50.040 --> 01:51:52.400
That's your first, that's your first test.

1751
01:51:52.400 --> 01:51:55.520
Supernatural Saturday negativity fast for 30 days.

1752
01:51:55.880 --> 01:52:00.560
And then I want you ladies asking men for help, interacting with them, smile,

1753
01:52:00.560 --> 01:52:03.640
make eye contact, ask them how their day is.

1754
01:52:04.040 --> 01:52:05.360
Say hello to them.

1755
01:52:05.880 --> 01:52:09.000
See what happens and come and share that in the community with us.

1756
01:52:09.520 --> 01:52:09.920
All right.

1757
01:52:09.920 --> 01:52:12.760
Do come in, do those two minute videos.

1758
01:52:13.280 --> 01:52:13.920
All right.

1759
01:52:14.080 --> 01:52:15.920
Just briefly let us know what your world is.

1760
01:52:15.920 --> 01:52:16.360
Okay.

1761
01:52:16.560 --> 01:52:18.280
Again, try to keep it in the two minutes.

1762
01:52:18.880 --> 01:52:19.320
All right.

1763
01:52:19.320 --> 01:52:23.720
We can't have 20 minute, like little story hours.

1764
01:52:23.880 --> 01:52:24.600
Okay.

1765
01:52:24.920 --> 01:52:25.480
Two minutes.

1766
01:52:26.080 --> 01:52:28.560
Um, just give us a brief of what's going on.

1767
01:52:28.640 --> 01:52:29.200
All right.

1768
01:52:29.280 --> 01:52:30.960
And, and what you're experiencing.

1769
01:52:31.080 --> 01:52:31.600
Okay.

1770
01:52:33.360 --> 01:52:34.440
All right, ladies.

1771
01:52:34.440 --> 01:52:35.440
Thank you.

1772
01:52:35.440 --> 01:52:38.040
I'll see you all later, um, next week.

1773
01:52:38.040 --> 01:52:41.400
And if you can jump on the live tonight, I would suggest doing that as well.

1774
01:52:41.400 --> 01:52:41.800
Okay.

1775
01:52:42.640 --> 01:52:42.920
Okay.

1776
01:52:42.920 --> 01:52:43.760
Thank you, Carla.

1777
01:52:44.000 --> 01:52:44.320
All right.

1778
01:52:44.320 --> 01:52:45.080
Bye ladies.

1779
01:52:45.240 --> 01:52:46.040
Thanks Carla.

1780
01:52:46.080 --> 01:52:46.480
Bye.