WEBVTT

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Thank you so much for joining us.

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If you don't have your camera on yet and you're able to, we'd love to see you tonight.

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If you're driving or eating or something, don't feel like you have to turn on now.

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But at some point, it would be great to see you all.

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As a reminder, we're coming out of hiding.

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And in phase one, we're practicing being seen, heard, known, and loved.

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My name is Bethany Cooper.

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I'm one of the HeartWork coaches here in the community.

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And I'm so glad to be here with you tonight.

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God has some wonderful plans for us in store.

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Just a couple housekeeping things tonight.

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Not too many.

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If you all didn't hear Supernatural Saturday on Saturday, this past Saturday,

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we talked about Jackie went over why are we offended and really leaning into offense

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and how to unpack offenses and why we do not want to let offense stay in our hearts and our lives.

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And so if you haven't listened to that yet, I highly recommend that you check that out

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and just hear all the things that God is trying to say to you personally through it.

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And then we also did Prophetic Ministry Night.

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Actually, I want to see if that's up in the group yet.

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That is something that we do every night.

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Yes, it is up under Replays, Prophetic Ministry Night.

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We do that once a month, typically the last Sunday night of every month.

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And it's just a time for our prayer team and prophetic ministers to come

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and minister to the community as a whole.

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It's really a night, hopefully, of encouragement and building you up

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and helping you hear what we believe.

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We're doing our best to lean into what is the Lord saying

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and releasing that over everyone in the community.

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And then the last thing I wanted to share tonight is if you didn't know,

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I do have additional people that are helping me on the coaching team here in Phase 1.

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So from time to time, you're going to see myself responding to you,

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Annette Lewis, who is another success story in our community.

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You're going to see Jennifer Yankovich.

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You're going to see I have a couple new ladies that are coming on.

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They're in training, Andrea Jeselnik and Mariam Dunham.

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So if you see them responding to you and coaching you,

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that is their role in this community in Phase 1.

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And so just want you all to know that they are a part of our team.

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For those of you that are a little bit newer, when you're here,

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even if some of you are coaches and counselors, leaders,

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we encourage you to take your helper hats off.

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You don't have to help anybody.

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You get to support each other, cheer each other on.

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You can, you know, respond on people's posts,

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just like letting them know you see what they've posted

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and you're so blessed by what they shared, things like that.

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We definitely want you all as sisters connecting,

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but don't feel like you need a coach or any of those things

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because we'll take care of that.

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Y'all have been doing a great job at that,

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but I always like to just every couple of weeks say that reminder

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and also let you know who the team is.

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So let me pray for us tonight.

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We have, let's see, 34 amazing ladies on with us so far.

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And we're going to just pray and believe that God gives us exactly

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what we need tonight.

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Father, thank you so much for your truth.

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Thank you for your life.

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Thank you that you sent Jesus to die on the cross,

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to shed his blood for the forgiveness of our sins, for our healing,

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for our redemption,

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but also to make a way with us to be one with him as he is one with

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you and one with the Holy spirit.

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We thank you that you sent the Holy spirit to be our comforter,

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our counselor, our guide, our ever present help in time of trouble,

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as well as just to be with us in every moment.

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We ask you to bring anything in darkness to the light tonight,

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that there would be revealings for healing happening as we're in this

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session, that the Holy spirit,

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that you would come and just move in and out of conversations,

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the teaching, the breakout rooms,

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that you would just make your presence known in our hearts and our homes

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all throughout the zoom room.

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And we just thank you God for just the reminder that we can call on you

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at any time, God, and you're near to us.

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We thank you for your comfort and for your care in Jesus name.

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Amen.

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So we're going to talk tonight about the revealing for healing cycle in

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regards to y'all have heard Jackie talk about it.

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If you're in that week or beyond it, if you are just starting welcome.

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I almost forgot who's new tonight. If you're new,

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If you're new, you've never joined us for a live session before,

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and this is your first one.

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Go ahead and put that in the chat for me so we can welcome you.

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We would love to kind of acknowledge you and just say hi and make sure

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that you feel welcome here tonight for your first session. Other ladies,

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welcome back. It's so great to have you back.

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Alexandra's new tonight. Welcome Alexandra.

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Let's see if I can see you.

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Where are you?

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I can't see on my screen right now. I don't know why.

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Welcome.

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It's amazing. Joanne's new.

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Wadsy's new welcome ladies. So glad to have you.

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It's awesome.

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God's growing our community.

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He's growing our group.

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Look around the Zoom room, y'all.

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These are your sister squad sisters.

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What do we mean by that?

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These are the ladies that are walking

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on this journey with you,

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that are shoulder to shoulder with you

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on this journey in life.

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Hannah's new, Jordan's new.

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Welcome, ladies.

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So glad to have you.

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These are some of the ladies that,

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if you choose to get to know people beyond

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even just our live sessions,

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here's what's gonna happen.

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You might just have some great friends

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that come out of this time.

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A lot of y'all came in because of the love story.

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Some of you came in just for the healing.

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Whatever you came in for,

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God has a plan for you while you're here.

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He wants to give you abundantly above

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all that you could ever ask, think, or imagine.

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He wants to exceed your expectations.

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And I believe that he wants some of you

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who have really struggled with

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being hurt by friends to really find healthy friendship

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while you're here.

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And so I just wanna speak that over you.

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And was it Delaina, is that what you said your name was?

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Where it says unlicensed room?

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So that's Delaina, everybody, just so you know.

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If anyone doesn't know how to, not that you have to,

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but if you don't know how to change your name on the Zoom,

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when you log in, there should be,

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like if you hover over your name,

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there's three little dots.

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And if you click on that,

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there's a little item that just says rename.

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And when you click on that,

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you can type in any name that you want.

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So I would highly recommend you don't have to do it tonight,

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but when y'all log in, at least put your first name,

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just so we know who you are

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and so that the other ladies will know

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when you go into breakout sessions.

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But yeah, so glad that you're here.

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We're gonna talk first about revealing for healing cycle

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from the aspect of helping you actually know

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how to use the tool that we're giving you during heartwork.

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That's called the revealing for healing cycle.

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On that note, I wanna encourage you all,

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everything that you are learning here in the heartwork

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can serve you the rest of your life.

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I really want you to understand

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the forgiveness prayer sheet is something that you can use

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well beyond your time here in phase one, if you will.

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Some of y'all are gonna need to pull that out

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in phase two, phase three and beyond.

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And the same thing with the revealing for healing cycle,

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some of you all, these are just layers that are starting.

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And as you continue to get into community,

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you're facing other situations,

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God's gonna keep revealing things for healing as you go.

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So just want you all to think of them as tools

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for your toolbox that you're gonna get back out at times

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if you need them, okay?

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So on that note, we're gonna talk about all of these areas

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and things that we face in our lives

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and how to unpack them and come to a place

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of not just knowing what the lie is

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that's connected to the trauma,

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but knowing what is the truth.

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What's the truth to replace the lie

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so that we can actually go all the way through

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to the other side of victory

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and walking into the promised land, if you will.

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We cannot replace events that we've been through, ladies.

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We can't go back and change the past.

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We can't go back and change even things that we've done

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that are mistakes that we've made.

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But what we can do is we can replace the lies

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that we believe as a result of them.

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So I want you to even just be thinking right now

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about the trauma and the things that you've been through,

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as well as mistakes that you've made

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that are still bothering you today.

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Maybe you didn't think about it a lot today,

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but what I mean by today is the present time.

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What are the areas where you still feel stuck

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and you haven't been able to move forward?

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God wants to come in and replace every lie you believe

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that's connected to those things,

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and he wants to give you the tools to do it.

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So I'm gonna share my screen with you,

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and I'm gonna show you the Revealing for Healing cycle.

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For those of you that are not in week three yet,

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it's okay, you'll get there,

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but you're gonna understand a little bit more

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when you get there how to utilize this tool

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that we call the Revealing for Healing cycle.

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So this is what it looks like.

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I wanna let you know that I'm gonna start

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with the pink circle tonight, but if you all,

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let's say you are trying to work

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on the Revealing for Healing cycle in your own life,

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some of you all might know your trauma story

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before you can actually identify your negative emotions

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or the painful memory or the lies that you believe

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because of it.

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If you know the lies that you believe,

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but you maybe don't know the emotions,

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like sometimes we can work backwards.

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That's why I wanna kind of point that out.

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We're gonna do our best to identify the emotions first,

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but if we can't, we can absolutely start

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in a different circle and work backwards.

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Now, obviously we don't probably want you to start

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with the truth because we gotta know what the lie is

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to replace that with the truth.

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But I'm just talking about the negative emotions

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and the trauma stories and lies.

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Like sometimes you might have to start

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in a different way.

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part of the cycle to go back and identify the other things. So

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what I'm going to do tonight is I'm going to give you an example

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of something that I used to deal with. This is not something that

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I struggle with anymore, praise God. But this is a real life

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example from my life. And I'm going to use it in regards to

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the revealing for healing cycle just in hopes that it will help

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you start to identify things in your own life. So my negative

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emotion, we're going to start with the pink circle. The

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negative emotion I used to struggle with a lot was fear,

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fear all the time, fear of the dark, but also fear of men

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specifically, fear of men, when I would get around men, I would

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get super nervous, I'd be uncomfortable, I wouldn't know

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how to talk to him, I would feel intimidated, I would feel like

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rebellious, all kinds of stuff, especially men, you know, that

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were in some level of authority or romantic connection there.

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Okay. So that was the negative emotions, fear, fear, fear, fear

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all over the place. Okay. Painful memory, I like to kind

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of describe this and Jackie might put it differently, but

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this just really helped me a lot in unpacking all this. The

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painful memory for me is kind of like the umbrella, the

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overarching kind of theme, if you will, the painful memory for

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me was abused by men. Okay, I encountered abuse by men in a

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lot of different ways. And I'm going to explain that in a

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minute, because that goes into my trauma stories. But the

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overarching thing, painful memory is abuse with men, abuse

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with men, do you understand everyone tracking with me? All

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right, awesome. So then then I look at the trauma stories,

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these are these are general, they can be general, but

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oftentimes, they're going to be more specific. Okay. So to me,

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the trauma stories are what are underneath of that painful

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memory, kind of holding it up, if you will. And here are some

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of mine. I encountered sexual abuse as a little girl with my

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brothers and my sister, emotional, mental, spiritual,

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really every form of abuse with my ex, husband, my, my husband,

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in our marriage. I also had two additional trauma stories in

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in y'all, there's more, but these were the ones I just felt

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led to share tonight. And I had one when I was little, I don't

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even remember, like, my mom took us to this party, I don't think

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we knew these people very well. And the kids were all sent

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upstairs to play. There were no adults upstairs. And there were

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boys and girls playing up there. For whatever reason, this one

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boy, I don't even know his name, I don't really remember a lot

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about this other than the things I'm telling you tonight. He

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tried to lock me in the bedroom by myself with him. And he put

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a dresser in front of the bedroom door trying to keep the

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other kids out. Thankfully, my sister literally pushed so hard

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on the door that it pushed the dresser out of the way. After

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that, I have no clue what happened. I don't know if we

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left immediately. I don't know if I told my mom or anything.

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But I just remembered that that happened way back in the day.

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And even now it kind of feels surreal feels like I know that

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it happened. But it feels kind of like a dream like did this

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because I don't remember everything. So sometimes ladies,

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that's how it's gonna feel. That's how it's gonna appear.

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Like you have a memory, a slight memory of something. And you're

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just kind of like, did this? Did this really happen? Or am I

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making this up? Anyone ever had those kind of thoughts about

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memories? I've had a couple like that. So I want you to know

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sometimes it is going to feel like that. Also, then in high

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school, I had a friend that at the time I thought she was a

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good friend looking back now she really wasn't. But she thought

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it was so funny. She shoved me in the bathroom and put this

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ball down my shirt and then went and had a boy come in and had

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this whole plan. They were playing this game. Well, guess

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who didn't get included in the game? Me. But the game was me

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central. And the whole game was the boy was supposed to go down

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my shirt and get the ball. Well, I panicked. I freaked out. You

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know, I had all this backstory that I'd never told anyone. And

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I just was trying to get out of that bathroom. And it was a

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whole scene. All these other kids knew that I was kind of

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freaking out. That was another trauma story for me. While that

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boy may not have intended to traumatize me that night. I

293
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don't even know that he knew really what was going on. I just

294
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was very traumatized by what was going on because it's synced

295
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right along with the other things that had happened in my

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life. Okay, now I'm going to move on to the lies believed as

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a result, the lies that were believed that were revealed by

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the Lord. And there's more but these are the two that I'm going

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to share tonight. All men are abusive. Y'all I had boys. I

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had teenage boys, like little boys, teenage

301
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boys, adult men, you know, my brothers, all these different

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phases of men and men in authority as well. My dad left,

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you know, all the like, they cannot be trusted, and they are

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abusive. That's what the enemy told me. Okay. Another one is I

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need to be afraid of men. Not only do I need to be afraid, but

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I need to be afraid all the time. I used to be afraid that

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people were looking in the windows at my house. And I would

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run from one side of the house to the other, because there was

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all this fear based around men and being afraid to be by

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myself. Now, we're going all the way through to truth, ladies.

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So here is the truth that God gave me. I'm going to share the

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declaration that I formed with you first. And then I'm going

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to give you the scripture that God gave me to support those

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declarations that I put together. Truth number one, you

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don't have to fear or be afraid. Isaiah 4110 says, so do

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not fear for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your

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God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with

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my righteous right hand. Isaiah 4113, for I am the Lord, your

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God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not

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fear. I will help you. Here's truth number two. This is my

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declaration. I can trust God to protect me. And you know, a lot

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of times I'll go in and personalize this. Like I,

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Bethany Cooper can trust God to protect me at all times. You

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know, I'll personalize it, but I'm just giving you another,

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you know, again, an example to go off of for yourself. Psalm

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121, verse seven through eight is the scripture that I stand

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on. The Lord will keep you from all harm. He will watch over

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your life. The Lord will watch over your coming and going both

329
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now and forever more. A lot of times, ladies, I'm going to

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stop screen share in this healing process. I will have a

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lot of people kind of ask, okay, but if God is always protecting

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us, then how do we go through abuse? How, why does he let bad

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things happen? Here's the reality. Every person is given

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free will because he loves us. Therefore he does not force his

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will on us. He actually puts in us the ability to choose well.

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It's whether or not we will take that ability and choose

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well. Will we choose evil or will we choose good? What are

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we going to do with what God has given us? And so unfortunately

339
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there are people that choose evil, that choose to do things

340
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that aren't healthy. Sometimes they do that because that has

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been done to them and they perpetuate what has been done to

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them. Is that excusing their behavior? No, absolutely not.

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Does that break God's heart? 100% when people abuse people

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and hurt other people, God does not want that. God doesn't want

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destruction. He doesn't create death. He doesn't create abuse.

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That's the hand of the enemy at work, but God will absolutely

347
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use whatever we give him and he'll work it all together for

348
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good. Y'all, I can't tell you how many times I've told my

349
00:18:09.520 --> 00:18:13.520
testimony over the years now, and I know that God is using it

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to help other people. And I think of Joseph in the Bible

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often. He was doing good. And at times the enemy continued to

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pursue him to try to destroy his life. But God, but God

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continued to enable him to rise every time, no matter what

354
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circumstance he was in, he rose, he rose every time. What was he

355
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doing in the prison? You all, he was speaking truth in the

356
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prison and he got put in charge. I believe that can

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happen no matter where we are in that in due season, we will

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rise and we will be the one that will reflect the glory of

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the Lord to other people. I'm going to get you ready to put

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00:18:53.280 --> 00:18:56.400
you in breakout session. For those of you that are new, our

361
00:18:56.400 --> 00:19:00.000
breakout sessions, excuse me, I'm going to put you in a

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00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:03.120
digital breakout room. Please don't leave at this point

363
00:19:03.120 --> 00:19:06.160
unless you really can't do the breakouts. Sometimes that

364
00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:08.160
happens. People get super nervous and they're like, I'm

365
00:19:08.160 --> 00:19:11.680
out of here. Please don't do that. Stay here with us. We're

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00:19:11.680 --> 00:19:15.280
going to talk sister to sister about the question that I give

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00:19:15.280 --> 00:19:18.960
you. And some of you might be freaking out, might be

368
00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:21.280
uncomfortable, but let's just all be uncomfortable together.

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We're all meeting new people all the time. And if you will

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00:19:24.400 --> 00:19:27.600
allow God to use this time of sharing, I believe a lot of you

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00:19:27.600 --> 00:19:29.840
are going to get breakthrough, even in the breakout rooms, as

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00:19:29.840 --> 00:19:32.160
you're talking with other sisters, you're going to get

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revelation, all kinds of stuff. As a general reminder, you do

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not have to advise each other or counsel each other in

375
00:19:37.920 --> 00:19:41.680
breakouts. Even if someone cries you all, it's okay. Just

376
00:19:41.680 --> 00:19:43.920
say thank you so much for sharing your life and your

377
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story with us. And then the next person can go. Okay. So

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when you get in there tonight, oh, Jodi, if your microphone

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00:19:51.920 --> 00:19:57.760
doesn't work, you can go in the breakout room and still type in

380
00:19:57.760 --> 00:19:59.920
the chat if you want. I don't want you to feel like you do.

381
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:02.340
just can't go into breakout rooms,

382
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but I'll let you decide that.

383
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While the ladies go in breakouts, I pray over you all.

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So I'll be here in the main room just praying as well.

385
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But here's the question for you tonight.

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This is breakout question number one.

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What is a negative emotion or memory

388
00:20:20.080 --> 00:20:23.200
that God brought up in your spirit tonight?

389
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What is he revealing to you for healing?

390
00:20:25.960 --> 00:20:28.160
What is a negative emotion or memory

391
00:20:28.200 --> 00:20:31.640
that God brought up to you tonight as I was sharing?

392
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And if you don't have one yet, it's okay.

393
00:20:33.760 --> 00:20:34.760
You can say, you know what?

394
00:20:34.760 --> 00:20:37.200
I don't have one yet, but I'm gonna be praying,

395
00:20:37.200 --> 00:20:39.580
you know, throughout the remainder of the session tonight.

396
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What does God wanna reveal in me?

397
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It's okay to just say that.

398
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Don't say that because you're nervous to share though.

399
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Okay, only say that if you really don't have something.

400
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And yeah, Stephanie, if you're at work, that's totally fine.

401
00:20:50.720 --> 00:20:54.200
So you just, when the pop-up comes to go into the Zoom room,

402
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just don't accept it.

403
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And ladies, when you get into the Zoom room,

404
00:20:57.320 --> 00:20:59.960
if you're there by yourself, I'll move you around, okay?

405
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If I see that someone else hasn't joined with you,

406
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so just stay there

407
00:21:03.160 --> 00:21:05.560
and I'll move everybody around if needed.

408
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Let me go ahead and get these set up.

409
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I'm gonna give you, let's see, two, four, six, eight.

410
00:21:11.360 --> 00:21:14.000
I think I'm gonna give you seven minutes

411
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because I only wanna put like two to three max people.

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And ladies, keep it short, brief and powerful.

413
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I heard, not that it's your all's thing.

414
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One of the ladies that was in our session this afternoon

415
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said she didn't get to share in either breakout.

416
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So that might be because other people were talking a lot.

417
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So just be mindful of those kinds of things.

418
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All right.

419
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All right, there you go.

420
00:21:39.680 --> 00:21:43.540
Go ahead and click to share or click to join, excuse me.

421
00:21:43.540 --> 00:21:45.140
Go ahead and click to join that.

422
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Those here that are working and can't go into breakouts,

423
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I'm gonna start praying

424
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as soon as I get everyone situated here.

425
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I just need to make sure everybody has at least two people

426
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in a Zoom room.

427
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All right.

428
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Yeah, I think I got everyone situated here.

429
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Father, thank you so much for your goodness.

430
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God, thank you for your grace.

431
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Lord, we just thank you.

432
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I just, in the spirit,

433
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it just felt like this just kind of gentle,

434
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like kind of wash over of the spirit.

435
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So Lord, we're gonna speak that over everybody tonight

436
00:23:09.260 --> 00:23:12.320
in the Zoom rooms, those that are just sharing,

437
00:23:12.320 --> 00:23:14.960
revealing for healing areas, memories,

438
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emotions that came up.

439
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Lord, I thank you that you would help them

440
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to hear what your spirit is saying,

441
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even as they're sharing in these groups,

442
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that you would help them to have courage,

443
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vulnerability, that they would experience

444
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your tangible presence, even as they're sharing.

445
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Lord, we thank you that you would just come in

446
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and just undergird them, lift them up, Lord,

447
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where they feel weak, tired, uncertain at times.

448
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Lord, I thank you that you would help them

449
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to hear what your spirit is saying.

450
00:23:46.520 --> 00:23:47.680
Hi, Sylvia.

451
00:23:47.680 --> 00:23:49.640
We just started breakout rooms

452
00:23:49.640 --> 00:23:51.880
talking about negative emotions or memories

453
00:23:52.320 --> 00:23:53.600
that God is bringing up in your spirit

454
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for revealing for healing.

455
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So I'll go ahead and put you in a breakout room

456
00:23:59.040 --> 00:24:01.540
and join the ladies in the conversation.

457
00:24:04.040 --> 00:24:06.600
Sorry, ladies, I'm super congested again.

458
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Every time I start coaching, this happens.

459
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So pray for me, pray for me, no congestion.

460
00:24:12.600 --> 00:24:16.480
Father, thank you so much for just also reminding us, God,

461
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that you make every crooked path straight,

462
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God, that where the enemy has tried to kill, steal,

463
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and destroy, that you sent Jesus Christ to give us life

464
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and give it to us more abundantly,

465
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and that he also came just to literally clear

466
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the path for us.

467
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We thank you for victory of the cross.

468
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We thank you that you would help our physical realm

469
00:24:36.920 --> 00:24:39.960
get aligned with the spiritual realm,

470
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and that you would help us to have heavenly understanding

471
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and mindsets renewed every day,

472
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help us to step further into the fullness of the plans

473
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and promises that you originally had for us

474
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when you created us.

475
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I thank you, Lord, God, that you would remove every weight

476
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that so easily ensnares us, that we would press on.

477
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.400
or the high calling of God for our lives, that we would choose to actively participate, God,

478
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in the unfolding of your plan in our lives, that we would surrender to you, Lord,

479
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that we would trust that you are working everything together for good

480
00:25:17.760 --> 00:25:22.480
in our lives to save many people alive, that it's not just about our story, but God, it's about the

481
00:25:22.480 --> 00:25:28.160
stories of all the people that are going to be impacted and have ripple effects of healing,

482
00:25:28.160 --> 00:25:35.120
grace for your glory, and for your renewal. We thank you, Lord, that you are just restoring all

483
00:25:35.120 --> 00:25:40.080
of the areas of our foundation where there's been cracks and crevices, where the enemies

484
00:25:40.080 --> 00:25:47.040
tried to get in to disrupt in all different kinds of ways. We thank you for bringing truth in life

485
00:25:47.040 --> 00:25:55.040
and healing for us. Eloise, did you get kicked out? Oh, you're muted. You're muted, sweetie.

486
00:25:58.160 --> 00:26:13.520
There you go. There I am. So I stepped away to get some hot tea because I was freezing

487
00:26:13.520 --> 00:26:19.840
and I came back and it kicked me out or something. I don't know. That's okay. Do you want to go into

488
00:26:19.840 --> 00:26:26.400
a Zoom room? They only have two minutes left. Oh, well, why don't we just talk? Well, I'm going to

489
00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:32.560
keep praying, but I just wanted to check on you because I saw that you were in a room, but then

490
00:26:32.560 --> 00:26:36.320
you came here. So I didn't know if you got kicked out, but we're going to do another breakout. So

491
00:26:36.320 --> 00:26:41.760
you'll be able to go into that in a little bit as well. Okay. All right. Father, thank you so much

492
00:26:41.760 --> 00:26:51.680
for just continuing to, yes, Lord, remind us, Lord, of all of the ways that you know us by name,

493
00:26:51.680 --> 00:26:56.160
that you will know every itty bitty detail and you care about all of it. We thank you,

494
00:26:56.160 --> 00:27:02.400
God, that you're continuing to weave a tapestry and create a masterpiece out of the mess of our

495
00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:08.800
lives where that nothing is too hard for you and we're never too messed up or never too far gone.

496
00:27:08.800 --> 00:27:15.200
God, you're the one that's so great at rescuing us. And even last night, ladies, one of the words

497
00:27:15.280 --> 00:27:22.960
that God showed me was that I saw the Lord in the vision that I had and I knew it was the Lord and

498
00:27:22.960 --> 00:27:28.080
he was glorious. He was shining bright and he opened his arms up, but they were wings. They

499
00:27:28.080 --> 00:27:33.600
were these big wings and God was saying that it was okay for us to come in and rest, that we would

500
00:27:33.600 --> 00:27:40.800
be safe there. And it reminded me of Psalm 91 verse four, which I'm going to look it up just

501
00:27:40.800 --> 00:27:48.880
so I don't mess it up, but it talks a lot about, you know, here we go. That worked out really well.

502
00:27:48.880 --> 00:27:54.400
I turned right close to it. He will cover you with his feathers and under his wings you will find

503
00:27:54.400 --> 00:28:01.200
refuge. His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. So, Lord, we just thank you that you

504
00:28:01.200 --> 00:28:05.680
are a safe place for us, that we can come into your presence, we can rest there,

505
00:28:05.920 --> 00:28:12.240
that you open your arms up to us and create a safe place for us to land and rest and be renewed.

506
00:28:12.240 --> 00:28:18.400
We thank you, God, for refining fire. God, that fire doesn't always feel great, but praise God,

507
00:28:18.400 --> 00:28:23.600
it removes the chaff from our lives. It leads us back into life and healing and redemption.

508
00:28:23.600 --> 00:28:28.560
Lord, we thank you that you remove all of the, this is coming up in my spirit a second time

509
00:28:28.560 --> 00:28:33.120
as I'm praying, all the crooked places and you make them straight. So, Lord, we thank you

510
00:28:33.600 --> 00:28:40.000
that you would just, yeah, Lord, remove any and all doubt, fear, unbelief, any kind of panic.

511
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:46.560
Lord, help us to embrace your truth. Help us to embrace your presence, God, that we would

512
00:28:48.160 --> 00:28:53.920
commit to staying on the pathway that leads to you. So, Lord, take our feet off of any pathway

513
00:28:53.920 --> 00:28:59.920
of pain that doesn't follow after you in any way. Help us to recognize the ways that we are making

514
00:29:00.160 --> 00:29:05.680
decisions through counterfeit identities that do not partner with your truth, that don't partner

515
00:29:05.680 --> 00:29:12.560
with heaven. Help us to like, yeah, Lord, remove any blinders, any mask, anything that's on our

516
00:29:12.560 --> 00:29:17.520
eyes that causes us to see the world and people around us differently than you created them to

517
00:29:17.520 --> 00:29:23.040
be. God, we thank you for a divine awakening in all of our hearts, minds, and spirits, that we

518
00:29:23.040 --> 00:29:28.320
would awaken to you, to your love, to the beauty of the world around us, to your love, to the

519
00:29:28.400 --> 00:29:33.040
beauty of the world around us, that we would no longer look at the world and view it through

520
00:29:33.040 --> 00:29:38.400
negative lenses. Even when we experience negative situations, God, that we can be the positivity

521
00:29:38.400 --> 00:29:43.760
there because your light, your power, the same power that rose Jesus from the dead is living in

522
00:29:43.760 --> 00:29:49.440
us. It's operating through us. Therefore, we can walk in empowerment and healing and wholeness and

523
00:29:49.440 --> 00:29:54.560
hope every single day in Jesus' name. Welcome back, ladies. I think we have everyone back now.

524
00:29:54.560 --> 00:29:58.720
Oh, Jodi, you got kicked out too. I'm so sorry. Okay.

525
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:01.920
I'm so glad everyone is back.

526
00:30:01.920 --> 00:30:04.000
Who is willing to share with the whole group

527
00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:06.520
what you shared in your private breakout group?

528
00:30:08.600 --> 00:30:11.000
I actually, go ahead, go ahead, Nicole.

529
00:30:11.000 --> 00:30:14.040
No, I actually, I actually feel encouraged to share

530
00:30:14.040 --> 00:30:16.280
because I wanna say even thank you

531
00:30:16.280 --> 00:30:18.060
for sharing your own story

532
00:30:18.060 --> 00:30:20.520
because it actually just like,

533
00:30:20.520 --> 00:30:23.580
it just like, it resonated within me

534
00:30:23.580 --> 00:30:25.560
and it made me like come to terms

535
00:30:25.560 --> 00:30:28.960
with like my own abuse in my life.

536
00:30:28.960 --> 00:30:33.160
Like I just come from like a culture

537
00:30:33.160 --> 00:30:35.960
where like it's very common to like, you know,

538
00:30:35.960 --> 00:30:40.960
hit for discipline and also like just verbal abuse

539
00:30:41.360 --> 00:30:44.040
that creates emotional abuse, right?

540
00:30:44.040 --> 00:30:48.440
So I never really knew why I was so afraid of men,

541
00:30:48.440 --> 00:30:49.800
especially men in authority.

542
00:30:49.800 --> 00:30:52.280
So when you said fear of men and men in authority

543
00:30:52.280 --> 00:30:54.240
and in romantic relationships, I was like, what?

544
00:30:54.240 --> 00:30:56.800
I was like, that sounds like exactly what I'm going through.

545
00:30:56.840 --> 00:31:01.440
But so yeah, to be able to have had that confirmed

546
00:31:01.440 --> 00:31:03.360
and like not even be like,

547
00:31:03.360 --> 00:31:05.560
I wasn't as scared as like I thought I would have been.

548
00:31:05.560 --> 00:31:06.400
I felt good.

549
00:31:06.400 --> 00:31:07.440
I was like, oh, thank you, Lord.

550
00:31:07.440 --> 00:31:10.480
Like, I'm ready to put that behind me.

551
00:31:10.480 --> 00:31:11.660
So thank you.

552
00:31:11.660 --> 00:31:12.500
You're welcome.

553
00:31:12.500 --> 00:31:13.560
That's so good, Nicole.

554
00:31:13.560 --> 00:31:16.960
I'm so glad that God connected those dots for you tonight.

555
00:31:16.960 --> 00:31:19.480
And you know, this is such a good reminder

556
00:31:19.480 --> 00:31:22.320
that, you know, when God's truth comes,

557
00:31:22.320 --> 00:31:25.600
it doesn't have to come with pain, you all.

558
00:31:25.600 --> 00:31:27.200
Sometimes I think we feel pain

559
00:31:27.200 --> 00:31:30.220
just because we know that we have to shift

560
00:31:30.220 --> 00:31:31.760
out of where we are,

561
00:31:31.760 --> 00:31:35.760
but his love is good and his grace and kindness

562
00:31:35.760 --> 00:31:37.960
and mercies are new every day to us.

563
00:31:37.960 --> 00:31:40.680
And he wants us to step into freedom.

564
00:31:40.680 --> 00:31:43.480
And so praise God that you were here tonight

565
00:31:43.480 --> 00:31:46.840
and you heard that, you know, story that I shared

566
00:31:46.840 --> 00:31:49.200
and we'll be praying for you as you continue

567
00:31:49.200 --> 00:31:51.640
to really move beyond those things

568
00:31:51.640 --> 00:31:55.360
and that God would start to show you

569
00:31:56.120 --> 00:31:56.960
how fun men are

570
00:31:56.960 --> 00:31:58.920
and that there's a lot of really healthy, safe men.

571
00:31:58.920 --> 00:32:00.680
Yes, I speak that over you, you know?

572
00:32:00.680 --> 00:32:03.200
Amen, amen, in Jesus' name.

573
00:32:03.200 --> 00:32:05.920
Yes, we can encounter men in a whole different way,

574
00:32:05.920 --> 00:32:07.360
ladies, than we have in the past.

575
00:32:07.360 --> 00:32:08.960
I believe that 100%.

576
00:32:08.960 --> 00:32:10.360
I've experienced it.

577
00:32:10.360 --> 00:32:13.280
My husband's like one of the funniest, don't tell him,

578
00:32:13.280 --> 00:32:15.400
but he's one of the funniest people that I know,

579
00:32:15.400 --> 00:32:17.560
literally makes me laugh almost every day.

580
00:32:17.560 --> 00:32:20.400
Some days his dad jokes aren't as good as others,

581
00:32:20.400 --> 00:32:22.520
but shh, don't tell him.

582
00:32:22.520 --> 00:32:24.880
No, for real, we joke about it all the time.

583
00:32:25.440 --> 00:32:26.920
But it's a whole different experience now.

584
00:32:26.920 --> 00:32:29.360
And even before God brought him into my life

585
00:32:29.360 --> 00:32:31.000
to encourage some of you,

586
00:32:31.000 --> 00:32:33.840
I did start praying things like what I just said to Nicole.

587
00:32:33.840 --> 00:32:37.280
God, I pray that you would bring godly brothers in Christ

588
00:32:37.280 --> 00:32:40.560
into my life to show me good men,

589
00:32:40.560 --> 00:32:43.440
that you would bring godly men in leadership, whatever.

590
00:32:43.440 --> 00:32:45.960
You know, I just wanted to continue to see good men.

591
00:32:45.960 --> 00:32:48.880
And my grandfather was a good man when I was growing up,

592
00:32:48.880 --> 00:32:50.760
but like he had been gone for so long

593
00:32:50.760 --> 00:32:52.120
and, you know, it was different.

594
00:32:52.120 --> 00:32:53.800
He was my grandpa, you know?

595
00:32:53.840 --> 00:32:57.120
And so I wanted to see other men that were good examples

596
00:32:57.120 --> 00:32:58.600
so we can pray for those things.

597
00:32:58.600 --> 00:33:01.200
And I believe God will answer our prayers.

598
00:33:01.200 --> 00:33:02.440
Ruth, go ahead.

599
00:33:05.400 --> 00:33:07.160
I shared in my breakout room.

600
00:33:07.160 --> 00:33:08.000
Sorry, I'm a little nervous.

601
00:33:08.000 --> 00:33:11.200
Also, this is my first time in a group setting,

602
00:33:11.200 --> 00:33:14.160
but I felt like to share.

603
00:33:15.240 --> 00:33:18.040
This was January of last year.

604
00:33:18.040 --> 00:33:20.000
And this is just before my husband

605
00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:21.160
and I were getting ready to separate.

606
00:33:22.120 --> 00:33:26.760
And the painful memory or the trauma story was he asked me,

607
00:33:26.760 --> 00:33:29.160
and we'd been married for seven years at that point,

608
00:33:29.160 --> 00:33:30.520
almost eight.

609
00:33:30.520 --> 00:33:33.960
He asked me to name one good thing

610
00:33:33.960 --> 00:33:35.920
that I brought to the marriage or throughout the marriage.

611
00:33:35.920 --> 00:33:37.040
Like, what was my value?

612
00:33:37.040 --> 00:33:39.160
Like, what value do you even have?

613
00:33:39.160 --> 00:33:40.000
Or what worth?

614
00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:42.240
Like, basically, what worth did I have

615
00:33:42.240 --> 00:33:44.480
and what I had contributed?

616
00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:48.440
I was about to move to a different state for a job.

617
00:33:48.440 --> 00:33:52.320
And he told me that I was going to fail

618
00:33:52.320 --> 00:33:55.800
and that he was gonna divorce me

619
00:33:55.800 --> 00:33:57.640
because he knew I would fail

620
00:33:57.640 --> 00:33:59.600
and that I would come back to him.

621
00:33:59.600 --> 00:34:01.920
And when I did, he was not gonna accept me.

622
00:34:01.920 --> 00:34:04.960
And so that was the story was saying,

623
00:34:04.960 --> 00:34:06.400
like, you know, what's your value?

624
00:34:06.400 --> 00:34:08.960
Like, what worth do you even have as a human being?

625
00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:11.800
And what did I, what I had contributed

626
00:34:11.800 --> 00:34:13.639
to the marriage over like seven years?

627
00:34:13.639 --> 00:34:16.639
And so that was what kind of came to my mind

628
00:34:16.679 --> 00:34:18.800
was, and the hard part was,

629
00:34:18.800 --> 00:34:21.280
because I had moved from Texas to,

630
00:34:21.280 --> 00:34:23.840
I mean, Idaho for the job I'm working at.

631
00:34:23.840 --> 00:34:26.239
And so still having family back there

632
00:34:26.239 --> 00:34:28.080
and still, so contacts there.

633
00:34:28.080 --> 00:34:30.199
And so while we're, you know, separated

634
00:34:30.199 --> 00:34:32.600
and, you know, seeing like pictures of him

635
00:34:32.600 --> 00:34:35.239
or with this woman or with that person.

636
00:34:35.239 --> 00:34:36.239
And then over the summer,

637
00:34:36.239 --> 00:34:38.840
God telling me to pray for him,

638
00:34:38.840 --> 00:34:40.560
that was tough.

639
00:34:40.560 --> 00:34:42.199
But it's been, I think it was,

640
00:34:42.199 --> 00:34:44.520
it might've been Jackie that said it on Saturday

641
00:34:44.520 --> 00:34:46.639
during the Supernaturals.

642
00:34:46.639 --> 00:34:48.000
I watched the replay yesterday,

643
00:34:48.000 --> 00:34:50.239
but what she said that forgiveness happens

644
00:34:50.239 --> 00:34:51.920
in stages or in phases.

645
00:34:51.920 --> 00:34:53.400
So it's kind of, it's been a journey

646
00:34:53.400 --> 00:34:55.520
that God's taking me on and just, you know,

647
00:34:55.520 --> 00:34:56.520
I'll think I've forgiven him.

648
00:34:56.520 --> 00:34:58.320
And then it's like, something will come up

649
00:34:58.320 --> 00:34:59.160
and it's like, okay, God,

650
00:34:59.160 --> 00:35:00.760
I guess I have to do this again.

651
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.000
Yeah, I guess I have to go.

652
00:35:03.000 --> 00:35:04.400
God, aren't we done with this already?

653
00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:05.680
Like, I've already forgiven him.

654
00:35:05.680 --> 00:35:06.760
Like, I just want to move on.

655
00:35:06.760 --> 00:35:08.280
And then something will come up, and I'll be like,

656
00:35:08.280 --> 00:35:10.200
okay, wow, there's still a little part of me

657
00:35:10.200 --> 00:35:11.720
that is still holding on.

658
00:35:11.720 --> 00:35:13.480
And so that was kind of like the story.

659
00:35:13.480 --> 00:35:15.680
And just telling God's truth, you know,

660
00:35:15.680 --> 00:35:17.360
the scripture you said was one of the ones

661
00:35:17.360 --> 00:35:21.800
that has spoken to me in Isaiah 41, 10, and 13.

662
00:35:21.800 --> 00:35:23.960
But just realizing that God's always with me

663
00:35:23.960 --> 00:35:25.880
and he's never gonna let me go.

664
00:35:25.880 --> 00:35:27.280
And he sees worth in value in me

665
00:35:27.280 --> 00:35:30.200
even if my ex doesn't see it.

666
00:35:30.200 --> 00:35:32.040
Yes, Ruth, you did great.

667
00:35:32.040 --> 00:35:33.920
Great job on sharing your first time.

668
00:35:33.920 --> 00:35:36.520
Ladies, see, I know everyone can feel nervous,

669
00:35:36.520 --> 00:35:39.400
but once you do it, it can really,

670
00:35:39.400 --> 00:35:42.480
it can release so much on the inside, truly.

671
00:35:42.480 --> 00:35:44.240
I wanna, oh, I don't wanna lose you though.

672
00:35:44.240 --> 00:35:45.440
Okay, I see you.

673
00:35:45.440 --> 00:35:46.760
You moved when you lowered your hand there,

674
00:35:46.760 --> 00:35:47.800
but that's all right.

675
00:35:49.080 --> 00:35:51.720
So a couple things, just so that I know.

676
00:35:51.720 --> 00:35:54.400
So are you all still separated?

677
00:35:54.400 --> 00:35:56.920
And, or are you all divorced now?

678
00:35:57.560 --> 00:35:58.400
Or where are you all at?

679
00:35:58.400 --> 00:36:00.120
The divorce was finalized in October.

680
00:36:00.120 --> 00:36:02.840
He filed, and so that was finalized in October.

681
00:36:02.840 --> 00:36:04.200
So, yeah.

682
00:36:04.200 --> 00:36:05.360
All right.

683
00:36:05.360 --> 00:36:07.680
Actually, my birthday was like my birthday.

684
00:36:07.680 --> 00:36:09.760
That's when the divorce was finalized.

685
00:36:09.760 --> 00:36:10.600
So I was like, oh my God,

686
00:36:10.600 --> 00:36:13.720
I guess this is a birthday present of sorts.

687
00:36:13.720 --> 00:36:16.280
But yeah.

688
00:36:16.280 --> 00:36:18.040
Well, we're definitely gonna be praying for you.

689
00:36:18.040 --> 00:36:20.720
And yes, you know, keep in mind, ladies,

690
00:36:20.720 --> 00:36:23.760
what she's sharing is a really great example.

691
00:36:24.080 --> 00:36:27.280
Sometimes we are healing and processing

692
00:36:27.280 --> 00:36:29.240
what is in front of us right then.

693
00:36:29.240 --> 00:36:30.600
And we do the best that we can

694
00:36:30.600 --> 00:36:33.560
to forgive all of the things and all that.

695
00:36:33.560 --> 00:36:36.920
But as we continue to go, or like she's saying,

696
00:36:36.920 --> 00:36:38.960
then she starts seeing photos in him.

697
00:36:38.960 --> 00:36:40.640
Then there's another layer of healing

698
00:36:40.640 --> 00:36:42.840
and processing and forgiving.

699
00:36:42.840 --> 00:36:44.520
And then when the next thing,

700
00:36:44.520 --> 00:36:47.920
it's because God knows what we can handle.

701
00:36:47.920 --> 00:36:50.320
And he loves us, and he does wanna draw us

702
00:36:50.320 --> 00:36:52.480
into that healing place.

703
00:36:52.520 --> 00:36:55.160
But sometimes until something

704
00:36:55.160 --> 00:36:57.320
is kind of that pressure applied,

705
00:36:57.320 --> 00:36:59.960
we might not see those additional areas,

706
00:36:59.960 --> 00:37:00.840
if you know what I'm saying.

707
00:37:00.840 --> 00:37:03.640
So continue to just be open, ladies,

708
00:37:03.640 --> 00:37:04.640
as you're processing,

709
00:37:04.640 --> 00:37:09.640
even if you've processed something before about somebody.

710
00:37:11.040 --> 00:37:12.920
Like even those stories I told you tonight,

711
00:37:12.920 --> 00:37:16.280
if I felt like any kind of emotion on those,

712
00:37:16.280 --> 00:37:17.760
I might start looking, okay,

713
00:37:17.760 --> 00:37:19.960
is there something else you're trying to show me

714
00:37:19.960 --> 00:37:22.080
regarding that, Lord?

715
00:37:22.600 --> 00:37:24.240
Not that we have to go all the way back through,

716
00:37:24.240 --> 00:37:26.760
but Lord, what's the part you want me to see

717
00:37:26.760 --> 00:37:29.600
that maybe I haven't seen before?

718
00:37:29.600 --> 00:37:32.880
So that we would continue to get more freedom, more freedom.

719
00:37:32.880 --> 00:37:34.240
I do also wanna say,

720
00:37:34.240 --> 00:37:35.960
cause I don't wanna pass over,

721
00:37:37.040 --> 00:37:40.120
on the questions that he asked you.

722
00:37:41.240 --> 00:37:42.920
In that moment of trauma,

723
00:37:42.920 --> 00:37:45.280
I mean, it was already pretty big that he's saying,

724
00:37:45.280 --> 00:37:48.400
okay, if you go and do this, I'm gonna divorce you.

725
00:37:48.400 --> 00:37:50.360
I think you're gonna fail.

726
00:37:50.400 --> 00:37:53.600
But he's basically saying,

727
00:37:53.600 --> 00:37:55.320
even though he's asking you a question,

728
00:37:55.320 --> 00:37:57.800
he's trying to basically passively tell you

729
00:37:57.800 --> 00:38:00.640
that he doesn't think you have value and worth.

730
00:38:00.640 --> 00:38:03.320
So I'm just wondering as you've processed that,

731
00:38:05.160 --> 00:38:09.600
is that something that now you've struggled with over time

732
00:38:09.600 --> 00:38:11.200
as far as what is my value?

733
00:38:11.200 --> 00:38:12.920
What is my worth?

734
00:38:12.920 --> 00:38:15.520
I just wanna know where you're at with that as well.

735
00:38:16.520 --> 00:38:19.320
Yeah, I mean, so the thing is,

736
00:38:19.320 --> 00:38:21.840
I was already dealing with low self-esteem

737
00:38:21.840 --> 00:38:22.920
before that happened.

738
00:38:22.920 --> 00:38:25.160
So that just kind of made it,

739
00:38:25.160 --> 00:38:27.600
it felt like 10 times or a hundred times worse.

740
00:38:29.720 --> 00:38:32.120
But I wanted to read a scripture.

741
00:38:32.120 --> 00:38:34.880
And this was one of the,

742
00:38:34.880 --> 00:38:38.680
my dad shared this with me going through the process.

743
00:38:38.680 --> 00:38:41.040
I thank God for the wonderful parents they gave me

744
00:38:41.040 --> 00:38:43.760
cause they've been my rock throughout this.

745
00:38:44.160 --> 00:38:46.840
Both of them, my parents are born again believers.

746
00:38:46.840 --> 00:38:48.440
And my dad shared this verses with me.

747
00:38:48.440 --> 00:38:49.280
Is it okay if I read it?

748
00:38:49.280 --> 00:38:50.120
It's in Psalm 73.

749
00:38:50.120 --> 00:38:51.440
Absolutely.

750
00:38:51.440 --> 00:38:55.400
So it's Psalm 73 verses 23 to 28.

751
00:38:55.400 --> 00:38:56.240
And it says,

752
00:38:56.240 --> 00:38:58.720
yet I am always with you, Lord.

753
00:38:58.720 --> 00:39:00.720
I'm David talking to God.

754
00:39:00.720 --> 00:39:02.040
Yet I'm always with you.

755
00:39:02.040 --> 00:39:04.160
You hold me by my right hand.

756
00:39:04.160 --> 00:39:05.760
You guide me with your counsel

757
00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:08.920
and afterward you will take me into glory.

758
00:39:08.920 --> 00:39:10.400
Whom have I in heaven but you

759
00:39:10.400 --> 00:39:13.600
and earth has nothing I desire besides you.

760
00:39:14.440 --> 00:39:15.280
My flesh and my heart may fail,

761
00:39:15.280 --> 00:39:17.040
but God is the strength of my heart

762
00:39:17.040 --> 00:39:19.480
and my portion forever.

763
00:39:19.480 --> 00:39:21.640
Those who are far from you will perish.

764
00:39:21.640 --> 00:39:24.960
You destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

765
00:39:24.960 --> 00:39:27.280
But as for me, it is good to be near God.

766
00:39:27.280 --> 00:39:29.200
I admit the sovereign Lord my refuge

767
00:39:29.200 --> 00:39:32.680
and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do.

768
00:39:32.680 --> 00:39:34.880
And so that was just a very,

769
00:39:34.880 --> 00:39:36.640
when I would read that is just realizing that,

770
00:39:36.640 --> 00:39:41.320
wow, God has a great plans for me.

771
00:39:41.320 --> 00:39:43.200
I may not know all the details yet

772
00:39:43.760 --> 00:39:45.760
and some days it's harder to believe it.

773
00:39:45.760 --> 00:39:46.600
You know, it's like,

774
00:39:46.600 --> 00:39:49.080
but just knowing that God has never lied once.

775
00:39:49.080 --> 00:39:50.480
He's never failed me.

776
00:39:50.480 --> 00:39:52.480
I know he's not gonna start now.

777
00:39:52.480 --> 00:39:53.480
That's right.

778
00:39:53.480 --> 00:39:54.320
That's right.

779
00:39:54.320 --> 00:39:57.720
Ladies, we borrow from the successes of our past.

780
00:39:57.720 --> 00:40:00.080
The reminder of God's done it before he'll.

781
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.400
Do it again. And if for some of you, you feel like you're not sure if God helped you through before.

782
00:40:04.400 --> 00:40:10.080
Well, I believe he has, or you wouldn't be here. Okay. So let's ask the Lord to show us

783
00:40:10.080 --> 00:40:14.560
the victories he's given you along the way and help you start standing on those a little bit

784
00:40:14.560 --> 00:40:20.160
more. Um, love those scriptures. I'm so glad that you shared it. Ladies. The reason I asked her that

785
00:40:20.160 --> 00:40:27.040
is, uh, this afternoon one, when I was coaching, uh, one of the common themes was value and worth

786
00:40:27.040 --> 00:40:32.000
women that are struggling in those areas, you know, and so many of us do struggle regarding

787
00:40:32.000 --> 00:40:38.000
our value and worth. And when we don't know what our value is in the Lord, like, who are we like,

788
00:40:38.000 --> 00:40:44.480
what do we love? Like what brings us to life when we do it, when we don't know any of that stuff

789
00:40:44.480 --> 00:40:48.800
about ourselves, we don't know what our hobbies are. Guess what? We get into relationships

790
00:40:49.600 --> 00:40:55.840
and tend to get absorbed in the men and lose ourselves. Or some people have kids and lose

791
00:40:55.840 --> 00:41:01.680
themselves. It's super important for us to continue to really always go back to the Lord.

792
00:41:01.680 --> 00:41:07.920
Who am I in you? Who am I? Cause we do change over time, but like, who am I in Christ? Like,

793
00:41:07.920 --> 00:41:13.840
what do I stand for? What do I believe? I remember during my, we used to call it bootcamp.

794
00:41:13.840 --> 00:41:18.720
One of the things I felt led to do was write out my value statements. What did I value?

795
00:41:19.280 --> 00:41:24.640
I valued not having sex before marriage. And I wrote that out on a piece of paper because I

796
00:41:24.640 --> 00:41:30.160
didn't want to forget that that was my value. No matter what the guys said or did, I wasn't going

797
00:41:30.160 --> 00:41:35.440
to settle. I was not going to settle. And I wrote that commitment to myself and I wrote my values

798
00:41:35.440 --> 00:41:41.040
out like commitments to myself. And I hung them up somewhere. I put them inside of a cabinet that I

799
00:41:41.040 --> 00:41:45.920
opened every day. It was a food cabinet. And I literally, every day I would read those over

800
00:41:45.920 --> 00:41:52.480
myself to remind myself what my values were like, who am I now? That's my values and what I believe.

801
00:41:52.480 --> 00:41:57.840
But then also the values of what I believe I'm made up of. Like, what do I bring to the table?

802
00:41:58.640 --> 00:42:04.960
I believe that people can feel alive when I come into the room. I do. I think I ignite people. I

803
00:42:04.960 --> 00:42:10.640
think I'm called by the Lord to be a change agent in this world. But those are things I had to learn

804
00:42:10.640 --> 00:42:15.360
and embrace and not be afraid of. So I want to encourage you all to start to really lean into

805
00:42:15.360 --> 00:42:19.360
some of that for yourselves as well. Okay. All right, Denise, go ahead.

806
00:42:20.320 --> 00:42:26.640
Yeah. So what I shared was, I didn't know if it fit in this category because it's like an

807
00:42:26.640 --> 00:42:32.320
irritation, but I know it's deeper than an irritation between me and my sister. She's got

808
00:42:32.320 --> 00:42:38.080
like this know-it-all attitude. And even when you're telling a story about like something,

809
00:42:38.080 --> 00:42:43.280
she always has an opinion. It's like, I would just like to tell you what's going on in my life

810
00:42:43.760 --> 00:42:50.720
without your two cents. I don't carry your two cents. And sometimes it's just, I know it's more

811
00:42:50.720 --> 00:42:56.320
than just that's my crazy sister. She's always got an opinion because it irritates me so bad.

812
00:42:56.880 --> 00:43:05.040
So what do I do with that? Okay. So I'm so glad you asked. So you're going to use the revealing

813
00:43:05.040 --> 00:43:11.200
for healing cycle because guess what? Irritation is a feeling. It is. It's an emotion. We feel

814
00:43:11.200 --> 00:43:18.320
irritated. We feel angry with people. Why? What's underneath the surface? Remember that anger hurts

815
00:43:18.320 --> 00:43:25.520
bodyguards. So irritation, even though it's not anger, it partners with that, right? So when you

816
00:43:25.520 --> 00:43:31.440
were talking about your sister, the first thought I had is when's the first time, you know, I don't

817
00:43:31.440 --> 00:43:35.600
know if your sister got attention. She was know-it-all. When did this start, this pattern

818
00:43:35.600 --> 00:43:42.240
with you all where you started even labeling her as a know-it-all? It's just, we're so different.

819
00:43:42.880 --> 00:43:49.680
So like I was telling the girls in the group that we grew up together and we moved around a lot.

820
00:43:49.680 --> 00:43:53.600
So we were, we're very close. Cause we had to be best friends. You're the only person, you know,

821
00:43:53.600 --> 00:44:00.240
in the new city. Right. But we're the only thing that we have in common is we both like chocolate.

822
00:44:00.240 --> 00:44:06.640
Like that's it. We are so polar opposites that I don't know if it's just her personality.

823
00:44:07.280 --> 00:44:11.280
Well, I I'm going to say there's probably something that happened along the way

824
00:44:11.280 --> 00:44:13.200
where your feelings got hurt.

825
00:44:16.480 --> 00:44:20.960
It could be just that you're different, but I typically, from all of the work and you don't

826
00:44:20.960 --> 00:44:25.760
have, ladies, this is kind of the key. This is, you don't always have to know right now. So when

827
00:44:25.760 --> 00:44:30.720
I ask questions, it's totally okay. If nothing comes to you, even right now, it's just something

828
00:44:30.720 --> 00:44:36.080
for you to just really start talking to the Lord about because typically someone's not going to get

829
00:44:36.080 --> 00:44:45.360
under our skin like that. If there's not hurt underneath the surface. Okay. I can't think of

830
00:44:45.360 --> 00:44:50.720
anything. Right. It might even just be, you know, let me put it this way too. It might not be that

831
00:44:50.720 --> 00:44:55.840
your sister did something to hurt you. It could just be that you feel less than her.

832
00:44:56.720 --> 00:44:59.840
Oh, that's not it at all.

833
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.480
I'm saying as a kid, you know, Denise,

834
00:45:02.480 --> 00:45:05.120
you're answering in your right now knowledge,

835
00:45:05.120 --> 00:45:08.240
but you have to go back to when you were a kid,

836
00:45:08.240 --> 00:45:12.400
Lord, was there any time where my feelings got hurt

837
00:45:12.400 --> 00:45:15.480
because my sister had knowledge or something?

838
00:45:15.480 --> 00:45:18.160
Did parents kind of rival you all against each other

839
00:45:18.160 --> 00:45:20.480
where you're just really discovering

840
00:45:20.480 --> 00:45:24.560
and looking at what's leading to this irritation?

841
00:45:24.560 --> 00:45:27.320
And so maybe none of those things are gonna be the case,

842
00:45:27.320 --> 00:45:28.440
but remember, again,

843
00:45:28.480 --> 00:45:31.240
you're not answering from your knowledge right now.

844
00:45:31.240 --> 00:45:32.080
Okay.

845
00:45:32.080 --> 00:45:33.720
Lord, show me back, you know,

846
00:45:33.720 --> 00:45:38.720
is there anything in my backstory that I'm not remembering

847
00:45:38.720 --> 00:45:40.640
that would cause me to feel this way

848
00:45:40.640 --> 00:45:43.440
towards my sister often?

849
00:45:43.440 --> 00:45:44.840
Because it sounds like this is something

850
00:45:44.840 --> 00:45:47.400
that happens on the regular, right?

851
00:45:47.400 --> 00:45:49.600
Yeah, yeah, more than I would like it to,

852
00:45:49.600 --> 00:45:50.960
let's just say that.

853
00:45:50.960 --> 00:45:53.240
Yeah, so just, and ladies, this, you know,

854
00:45:53.240 --> 00:45:55.120
just so you know, Denise, you're doing awesome,

855
00:45:55.120 --> 00:45:58.160
because not, we are, we're like, no, no, I don't,

856
00:45:58.880 --> 00:45:59.720
like, I do it too.

857
00:45:59.720 --> 00:46:00.560
No, I feel fine.

858
00:46:00.560 --> 00:46:02.040
Like, I'm good with that person.

859
00:46:02.040 --> 00:46:04.960
And Lord's like, no, there's something here.

860
00:46:04.960 --> 00:46:08.200
You just have to really pray and we wait.

861
00:46:08.200 --> 00:46:10.440
And sometimes we'll get an answer like that.

862
00:46:10.440 --> 00:46:13.120
And other times it'll be months later.

863
00:46:13.120 --> 00:46:16.880
So just be okay in the process of discovery.

864
00:46:16.880 --> 00:46:18.000
And that's what I love to call it,

865
00:46:18.000 --> 00:46:20.000
is a process of discovery.

866
00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:21.600
We're rediscovering ourselves

867
00:46:21.600 --> 00:46:24.240
and we're also discovering, you know,

868
00:46:24.240 --> 00:46:26.440
what did hurt us along the way?

869
00:46:26.440 --> 00:46:29.240
What did cause us to be in the place that we're in?

870
00:46:29.240 --> 00:46:32.720
And, you know, yeah, I mean,

871
00:46:32.720 --> 00:46:35.120
I guess we could chalk it up to certain people

872
00:46:35.120 --> 00:46:37.920
and their personalities just rub us the wrong way.

873
00:46:37.920 --> 00:46:39.640
I have that happen too.

874
00:46:39.640 --> 00:46:42.880
There are certain people, 100%,

875
00:46:42.880 --> 00:46:44.400
that when I'm around them, I'm like,

876
00:46:44.400 --> 00:46:47.800
man, it's like sandpaper.

877
00:46:47.800 --> 00:46:51.800
But if I'm really honest with myself,

878
00:46:51.800 --> 00:46:54.320
there's something about their personality

879
00:46:54.320 --> 00:46:57.000
that reminds me of someone else

880
00:46:57.000 --> 00:46:58.760
that hurt me along the way.

881
00:46:59.880 --> 00:47:01.520
Okay.

882
00:47:01.520 --> 00:47:04.120
So that's why I'm saying like, it could be your sister.

883
00:47:04.120 --> 00:47:05.880
It could have nothing to do with her.

884
00:47:05.880 --> 00:47:07.880
It could be just something that's inside of you

885
00:47:07.880 --> 00:47:09.640
that's not healed,

886
00:47:09.640 --> 00:47:11.880
that every time that she's doing it,

887
00:47:11.880 --> 00:47:13.840
it's just reminding you of that.

888
00:47:13.840 --> 00:47:16.120
And so that's where we go in with that discovery,

889
00:47:16.120 --> 00:47:17.120
like, Lord, show me,

890
00:47:17.120 --> 00:47:21.000
like, because there's something here that I can't see.

891
00:47:21.000 --> 00:47:22.080
Okay, awesome.

892
00:47:22.080 --> 00:47:23.640
Yeah, so great.

893
00:47:23.640 --> 00:47:24.880
That was a great question.

894
00:47:24.880 --> 00:47:27.000
And even great interaction, just so you know,

895
00:47:27.000 --> 00:47:28.600
ladies, I'm always good with,

896
00:47:28.600 --> 00:47:30.640
even if someone's like, no, that's that,

897
00:47:30.640 --> 00:47:32.280
like, because this is how we get

898
00:47:32.280 --> 00:47:34.080
to where we're at right now, right?

899
00:47:34.080 --> 00:47:36.080
And so I appreciate your teachability

900
00:47:36.080 --> 00:47:37.440
and just being open to letting me

901
00:47:37.440 --> 00:47:39.200
kind of back and forth with you.

902
00:47:39.200 --> 00:47:40.680
It's really, really helpful.

903
00:47:40.680 --> 00:47:43.280
So ladies, don't get nervous if that happens, okay?

904
00:47:43.280 --> 00:47:46.440
Because everyone, this is awesome and this is helpful.

905
00:47:46.440 --> 00:47:48.040
And I hope that it's helping all of you.

906
00:47:48.040 --> 00:47:51.640
It helped me as even as she's talking about it, honestly,

907
00:47:52.200 --> 00:47:54.800
because I am encountering someone at our church

908
00:47:54.800 --> 00:47:56.600
with a similar personality.

909
00:47:56.600 --> 00:47:59.960
And so even as I'm coaching you, I'm getting revelation.

910
00:47:59.960 --> 00:48:01.520
And so that's pretty cool.

911
00:48:01.520 --> 00:48:02.600
God is good.

912
00:48:02.600 --> 00:48:04.000
Denise, thank you for sharing.

913
00:48:04.000 --> 00:48:06.040
Jennifer, would you like to share?

914
00:48:08.920 --> 00:48:09.760
Yeah.

915
00:48:11.480 --> 00:48:12.320
Hi.

916
00:48:12.320 --> 00:48:15.400
So the negative emotion

917
00:48:15.400 --> 00:48:17.920
that I have been struggling with lately,

918
00:48:17.920 --> 00:48:20.600
and I feel like that's what God just highlighted to me

919
00:48:20.600 --> 00:48:23.320
is the feeling of not being enough.

920
00:48:25.360 --> 00:48:30.360
And it manifests in just over-performing,

921
00:48:32.760 --> 00:48:34.560
especially in relationships.

922
00:48:36.120 --> 00:48:37.960
In my marriage, I did that.

923
00:48:37.960 --> 00:48:40.520
Currently in different relationships, I do that.

924
00:48:41.400 --> 00:48:45.000
And I feel like that's what God brought to me.

925
00:48:45.000 --> 00:48:50.000
And I know that I am enough in Christ.

926
00:48:51.040 --> 00:48:52.600
Rationally, I know that,

927
00:48:52.600 --> 00:48:57.600
but I definitely acting out of this negative emotion.

928
00:49:00.400 --> 00:49:01.240
This is so good.

929
00:49:01.240 --> 00:49:03.200
So I wanna help you unpack this a little bit.

930
00:49:03.200 --> 00:49:08.200
So not being enough is a lie.

931
00:49:08.920 --> 00:49:11.800
So if you're looking at the cycle,

932
00:49:11.800 --> 00:49:14.080
even though you're saying you feel like you're not enough,

933
00:49:14.080 --> 00:49:17.160
really, anytime we believe we're not enough,

934
00:49:17.160 --> 00:49:19.640
that's a lie that we're believing.

935
00:49:19.640 --> 00:49:23.280
So I wanna help you kind of identify

936
00:49:23.280 --> 00:49:27.800
what your feeling is when that lie rises up in you

937
00:49:27.800 --> 00:49:29.040
that you're not enough,

938
00:49:29.040 --> 00:49:32.960
what is it that you feel in your flesh, if you will?

939
00:49:34.200 --> 00:49:35.960
Do you feel angry?

940
00:49:35.960 --> 00:49:37.320
Do you feel nervous?

941
00:49:37.320 --> 00:49:40.680
Do you feel scared?

942
00:49:40.680 --> 00:49:44.040
Yeah, I think I feel fear.

943
00:49:44.880 --> 00:49:47.280
It's like the fear of not being enough.

944
00:49:49.920 --> 00:49:53.600
Yeah, so insecurity, fear,

945
00:49:57.800 --> 00:49:59.560
really lack of self-worth.

946
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.840
Yeah, okay.

947
00:50:01.840 --> 00:50:03.360
So the reason I wanted to help you

948
00:50:03.360 --> 00:50:06.800
kind of separate those two is because your lie,

949
00:50:06.800 --> 00:50:09.480
your lie is what was kind of coming to the surface,

950
00:50:09.480 --> 00:50:11.360
but we had to start identifying

951
00:50:11.360 --> 00:50:14.320
what you actually feel as an emotion

952
00:50:14.320 --> 00:50:15.840
that's connected to that.

953
00:50:15.840 --> 00:50:17.280
Does that make sense?

954
00:50:17.280 --> 00:50:18.480
Yeah, it makes sense, yeah.

955
00:50:18.480 --> 00:50:21.040
It's definitely fear, fear and insecurity.

956
00:50:21.040 --> 00:50:24.240
Okay, so when you say it manifests

957
00:50:24.240 --> 00:50:27.520
when you feel like you have to overperform

958
00:50:27.520 --> 00:50:28.800
in a relationship,

959
00:50:28.800 --> 00:50:31.960
when is the first time you remember having to over,

960
00:50:31.960 --> 00:50:34.240
and this is where you're like, okay, Lord, what is it?

961
00:50:34.240 --> 00:50:36.080
You know, let's just go with what comes up first,

962
00:50:36.080 --> 00:50:38.240
but when is a time you remember feeling

963
00:50:38.240 --> 00:50:41.200
like you had to overperform in a relationship?

964
00:50:43.960 --> 00:50:47.440
Does it have to be specifically in a relationship or?

965
00:50:47.440 --> 00:50:49.480
It can be, you know, family.

966
00:50:49.480 --> 00:50:51.160
It doesn't have to be.

967
00:50:51.160 --> 00:50:52.840
The earliest is, you know,

968
00:50:52.840 --> 00:50:55.000
I'm the oldest of three sisters

969
00:50:55.000 --> 00:51:00.000
and I kind of acted like a little mommy to,

970
00:51:02.520 --> 00:51:06.680
so I was, yeah, I was expected to perform like an adult

971
00:51:06.680 --> 00:51:10.000
very, very early on taking care of my sisters

972
00:51:10.000 --> 00:51:12.600
and taking care of their needs.

973
00:51:12.600 --> 00:51:15.360
And I was kind of held responsible for a lot of things

974
00:51:15.360 --> 00:51:18.560
as a child that a child wouldn't, shouldn't be.

975
00:51:18.560 --> 00:51:22.040
So the overperforming and performing

976
00:51:22.040 --> 00:51:26.760
at a very high level was like part

977
00:51:26.760 --> 00:51:28.800
of my earliest upbringing.

978
00:51:30.360 --> 00:51:32.760
Yeah, was that cultural

979
00:51:32.760 --> 00:51:35.840
or was that because your mom was single or?

980
00:51:36.840 --> 00:51:40.200
No, my mom worked a lot,

981
00:51:40.200 --> 00:51:42.880
and so she was not around much.

982
00:51:42.880 --> 00:51:47.720
And she also had very limited ability to nurture

983
00:51:47.720 --> 00:51:50.320
and be there, present.

984
00:51:50.320 --> 00:51:53.560
She wasn't able to be present.

985
00:51:53.560 --> 00:51:58.560
So it's sort of, I have a innate kind of a nurturing nature.

986
00:51:59.520 --> 00:52:03.040
So I just fell into that role,

987
00:52:03.040 --> 00:52:06.480
that being the mom role very naturally.

988
00:52:06.480 --> 00:52:09.560
And it was also, then it started getting,

989
00:52:09.560 --> 00:52:11.000
you know, being expected of me.

990
00:52:11.000 --> 00:52:14.200
So it became like a performance that I had to do.

991
00:52:14.200 --> 00:52:17.280
I enjoyed it too, but I also had to do.

992
00:52:17.280 --> 00:52:20.360
Yeah, and part of it, part of it now

993
00:52:20.360 --> 00:52:22.600
is you probably did it for so long

994
00:52:22.600 --> 00:52:24.200
that it's become a habit

995
00:52:24.200 --> 00:52:26.440
that you don't know how to turn off yet.

996
00:52:27.440 --> 00:52:28.280
Yeah.

997
00:52:28.280 --> 00:52:30.000
You show up in other relationships now,

998
00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:32.120
that kind of got ingrained in you.

999
00:52:32.120 --> 00:52:35.640
And so your tendency is gonna be to shift into that.

1000
00:52:35.640 --> 00:52:38.240
Do you ever feel like you've been in relationships

1001
00:52:38.240 --> 00:52:40.320
where you've been momming the guy?

1002
00:52:41.160 --> 00:52:43.200
Not necessarily momming,

1003
00:52:43.200 --> 00:52:46.680
but like definitely doing way more

1004
00:52:46.680 --> 00:52:51.000
than my share of the marriage work.

1005
00:52:51.000 --> 00:52:54.080
You know, it's like I work for the two of us.

1006
00:52:55.400 --> 00:52:57.240
I love, you know.

1007
00:52:57.240 --> 00:52:59.760
The underlying is taking on responsibility

1008
00:52:59.760 --> 00:53:01.760
where you don't need to.

1009
00:53:01.760 --> 00:53:02.600
So one of the things-

1010
00:53:02.600 --> 00:53:03.440
No, I-

1011
00:53:03.440 --> 00:53:04.280
Go ahead.

1012
00:53:04.280 --> 00:53:05.120
Yeah.

1013
00:53:05.120 --> 00:53:05.960
Oh, go ahead.

1014
00:53:05.960 --> 00:53:06.800
I'm sorry.

1015
00:53:07.400 --> 00:53:08.240
So one of the things-

1016
00:53:08.240 --> 00:53:09.080
No, I-

1017
00:53:09.080 --> 00:53:09.920
Go ahead.

1018
00:53:09.920 --> 00:53:10.760
Yeah.

1019
00:53:10.760 --> 00:53:12.760
Oh, I feel like it's, I,

1020
00:53:12.760 --> 00:53:14.360
in a sense I become controlling

1021
00:53:14.360 --> 00:53:16.920
because I'm trying to do all of the work

1022
00:53:16.920 --> 00:53:18.560
so I can control the outcome of like,

1023
00:53:18.560 --> 00:53:21.000
I think, okay, I can make my marriage work

1024
00:53:21.000 --> 00:53:23.360
if I put 200% into it,

1025
00:53:23.360 --> 00:53:25.080
even though there's not like much coming

1026
00:53:25.080 --> 00:53:27.280
from the other side, you know?

1027
00:53:27.280 --> 00:53:30.280
So that's how I show up in relationship.

1028
00:53:30.280 --> 00:53:33.160
I just like think I can just make up

1029
00:53:33.160 --> 00:53:35.200
for the deficit of everybody else.

1030
00:53:35.840 --> 00:53:36.720
Hmm.

1031
00:53:36.720 --> 00:53:37.560
Okay.

1032
00:53:37.560 --> 00:53:38.880
So this is so good, y'all.

1033
00:53:38.880 --> 00:53:41.960
There's so much here in a good way

1034
00:53:41.960 --> 00:53:44.600
that hopefully this is gonna be helpful.

1035
00:53:44.600 --> 00:53:45.840
I see Maria says,

1036
00:53:45.840 --> 00:53:48.120
and when I asked about the momming guys,

1037
00:53:48.120 --> 00:53:49.200
she related to that.

1038
00:53:49.200 --> 00:53:52.760
So ladies, if you tend to try to mom people,

1039
00:53:54.120 --> 00:53:56.520
you know, it's probably that at some point

1040
00:53:56.520 --> 00:53:59.160
you believe that you know better.

1041
00:53:59.160 --> 00:54:01.720
You know better and taking responsibility for people.

1042
00:54:01.720 --> 00:54:03.320
So what we have to do, ladies,

1043
00:54:03.320 --> 00:54:04.800
in our healing process

1044
00:54:04.800 --> 00:54:06.600
is we also have to start learning

1045
00:54:06.600 --> 00:54:10.600
where do we end and someone else begins?

1046
00:54:10.600 --> 00:54:13.120
So what I mean by that is boundaries.

1047
00:54:14.240 --> 00:54:15.760
And sometimes that can be tricky

1048
00:54:15.760 --> 00:54:17.880
because in situations like hers,

1049
00:54:17.880 --> 00:54:20.000
I don't know what the family dynamic is like now,

1050
00:54:20.000 --> 00:54:22.240
but when we learned so young

1051
00:54:22.240 --> 00:54:24.840
to become responsible even for our brothers and sisters

1052
00:54:24.840 --> 00:54:27.960
in the caring and she didn't just say,

1053
00:54:27.960 --> 00:54:29.080
you know, the physical care,

1054
00:54:29.080 --> 00:54:34.080
but mom at times had limited ability to nurture.

1055
00:54:34.440 --> 00:54:37.960
So Jennifer felt like she had to be the nurturer

1056
00:54:37.960 --> 00:54:39.960
partially because her gift

1057
00:54:39.960 --> 00:54:43.120
that was already inside of her got overextended

1058
00:54:44.320 --> 00:54:46.200
because it got called into action

1059
00:54:46.200 --> 00:54:49.800
far beyond her age and ability of maturity.

1060
00:54:49.800 --> 00:54:51.720
And so she learned very young

1061
00:54:51.720 --> 00:54:54.360
to live in an overextended state.

1062
00:54:54.360 --> 00:54:55.920
Do y'all understand?

1063
00:54:55.920 --> 00:55:00.920
So now she has to learn how to come back into balance.

1064
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.880
through the healing of the Lord and everything that he's going to do in you,

1065
00:55:03.880 --> 00:55:08.120
he's going to help you come back into balance. I feel this for you, and I don't

1066
00:55:08.120 --> 00:55:11.720
know if anybody else is feeling this, but God's going to heal you and help you

1067
00:55:11.720 --> 00:55:16.600
kind of do a reset where you're going to start to see like what you're actually

1068
00:55:16.600 --> 00:55:23.360
responsible for and that it's okay to let other people be responsible too so

1069
00:55:23.360 --> 00:55:29.640
that, hey, a team of two is better than a team of one all the time. All the time.

1070
00:55:29.640 --> 00:55:35.040
But we have to also believe that people will show up and actually help and

1071
00:55:35.040 --> 00:55:39.960
follow through on their word, and so I want to encourage you to use the

1072
00:55:39.960 --> 00:55:46.840
forgiveness prayer sheet and to forgive, you know, your mom for times that she

1073
00:55:46.840 --> 00:55:51.880
wasn't able to show up, you know, in the relationship the way that you needed her

1074
00:55:51.880 --> 00:55:57.120
to. As a young child, you needed mom. You needed a mom, you know, and that doesn't

1075
00:55:57.120 --> 00:56:00.240
mean that she wasn't there. I don't want to be hard on your mom because I had a

1076
00:56:00.240 --> 00:56:05.360
single mom who had four kids and worked all the time. When I was a kid, I felt

1077
00:56:05.360 --> 00:56:10.040
neglected, but my mom was working. She was doing a lot. It wasn't that she didn't

1078
00:56:10.040 --> 00:56:15.680
love me. She was working all the time, right? And so, you know, it's not

1079
00:56:15.680 --> 00:56:21.800
necessarily what we perceive as a kid, but what we feel does impact us and it

1080
00:56:21.800 --> 00:56:26.960
does create an open door for the enemy to lie to us. Yeah, I've processed a

1081
00:56:26.960 --> 00:56:30.800
lot of that and forgiven, but I also know that there's always more layers,

1082
00:56:30.800 --> 00:56:35.720
right, that show up and, you know, so there's probably another layer of

1083
00:56:35.720 --> 00:56:39.000
forgiveness that I need to do, even though I feel like I've done like

1084
00:56:39.000 --> 00:56:43.360
hundreds of layers. Yeah, and sometimes it will feel like that. The other thing I

1085
00:56:43.360 --> 00:56:48.680
was going to say with this, Jennifer, is the first time that you were in a

1086
00:56:48.680 --> 00:56:51.960
different relationship, so in addition to the stuff with your mom and growing up,

1087
00:56:52.440 --> 00:56:57.120
the first time that you took responsibility for someone else's stuff,

1088
00:56:57.880 --> 00:57:01.600
have you ever just kind of processed forgiving yourself for that?

1089
00:57:04.560 --> 00:57:11.840
I'm probably not forgiving myself. Yeah, I didn't. Yeah, I think that's going to

1090
00:57:11.840 --> 00:57:16.760
be key here because part of part of the healing process is that we we

1091
00:57:16.760 --> 00:57:20.840
understand our side of the street. Well, our side of the street is when we keep

1092
00:57:20.840 --> 00:57:27.520
allowing people to take advantage of us. But sometimes it's because we are we

1093
00:57:27.520 --> 00:57:32.400
want to, like you said, you said it yourself. I try to control the outcome.

1094
00:57:32.400 --> 00:57:37.480
So sometimes I control things. Sometimes I'm doing the extra stuff because I'm

1095
00:57:37.480 --> 00:57:40.880
trying to control some kind of outcome. So if we want to unpack that all the

1096
00:57:40.880 --> 00:57:45.480
way, well, what's the outcome we're afraid of experiencing that we're now

1097
00:57:45.480 --> 00:57:51.680
overcompensating for? Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, like, I didn't want my

1098
00:57:51.680 --> 00:57:58.000
marriage to fail. So I would overextend and overwork and overdo everything, you

1099
00:57:58.000 --> 00:58:01.640
know, because I, you know, I was trying to control the outcome of like, not

1100
00:58:01.640 --> 00:58:07.080
facing the fact that it might end, you know? Yeah, yeah. And sometimes, ladies,

1101
00:58:07.440 --> 00:58:11.880
the men and I don't know your ex, so I'm not speaking this regarding him. But

1102
00:58:11.880 --> 00:58:17.720
sometimes, as you move forward, and you all start dating, you might experience

1103
00:58:17.720 --> 00:58:22.440
that the men that will be chivalrous, some of you all are going to struggle to

1104
00:58:22.440 --> 00:58:31.280
let them do things for you. Why? Because you think you can do it by yourself. And

1105
00:58:31.280 --> 00:58:35.120
you've told yourself so long, we kind of touched on this the last few weeks with

1106
00:58:35.120 --> 00:58:40.080
the lies we were unpacking. I'm good. I've got this. I don't need anybody's

1107
00:58:40.120 --> 00:58:45.200
help. I like being even though you people say they want a spirit mate inside. We

1108
00:58:45.200 --> 00:58:49.600
have a lot of people that are like, I like my life single. I like my house the

1109
00:58:49.600 --> 00:58:54.080
way it is. I don't like I like not having to answer to anyone. I mean, I

1110
00:58:54.080 --> 00:58:58.360
have people that tell us that. And so we have to process where where's the stuff

1111
00:58:58.360 --> 00:59:05.000
coming from in us that leads us to control or to not give space to the

1112
00:59:05.000 --> 00:59:08.480
other person to show up. And if they proven that they just don't show up,

1113
00:59:08.480 --> 00:59:13.240
that's different story. Okay. But practicing letting the men help us

1114
00:59:13.240 --> 00:59:15.920
remember a couple weeks ago, if you were here for a few weeks, you know what I'm

1115
00:59:15.920 --> 00:59:19.440
talking about. If you haven't heard it yet. I'll circle back to that in a few

1116
00:59:19.440 --> 00:59:23.360
weeks. And we'll get you all practicing. But practicing you can anybody can

1117
00:59:23.360 --> 00:59:27.040
practice looking guy in the face and smiling and just acknowledging his

1118
00:59:27.040 --> 00:59:31.560
presence. Ask letting them have like, help you if you need help. Don't Don't

1119
00:59:31.560 --> 00:59:35.040
be the one reaching all the way to the top on your tippy toes trying to reach

1120
00:59:35.040 --> 00:59:39.040
something and a really nice guy. It doesn't matter if you're not trying to

1121
00:59:39.040 --> 00:59:44.120
hit on him. But if a guy that's tall is walking by. Ask the guy to help you get

1122
00:59:44.120 --> 00:59:49.560
the thing off the shelf. Those are things we can do we can step into divine

1123
00:59:49.560 --> 00:59:56.120
feminine. It doesn't make us weak to extend that offer like hey, would you

1124
00:59:56.160 --> 00:59:59.880
would you mind to like grab this cereal box off the top here? I'm kind of

1125
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.160
You know, it'll be a fun little interaction or whatever, and we can practice doing those

1126
01:00:05.160 --> 01:00:06.160
things.

1127
01:00:06.160 --> 01:00:07.160
Um, yeah.

1128
01:00:07.160 --> 01:00:11.440
And, and ladies, there's nothing wrong if like I saw, um, no, not me.

1129
01:00:11.440 --> 01:00:13.720
I can't be comfortable putting air in my tires.

1130
01:00:13.720 --> 01:00:14.720
Yeah.

1131
01:00:14.720 --> 01:00:19.840
Sometimes we're not, we were totally fine with the men helping us, but letting a woman

1132
01:00:19.840 --> 01:00:27.160
help us a sister, another woman, even if like, especially if she's attractive and we compare

1133
01:00:27.160 --> 01:00:29.060
ourselves to her.

1134
01:00:29.060 --> 01:00:32.620
So many women struggle to let other women help them.

1135
01:00:32.620 --> 01:00:34.420
So it comes in all facets, ladies.

1136
01:00:34.420 --> 01:00:36.220
So be open to that as you move forward.

1137
01:00:36.220 --> 01:00:37.220
Okay.

1138
01:00:37.220 --> 01:00:38.220
I'm going to start to go, Jennifer.

1139
01:00:38.220 --> 01:00:39.220
That was so great.

1140
01:00:39.220 --> 01:00:40.220
Thank you for sharing.

1141
01:00:40.220 --> 01:00:41.740
Really appreciate you.

1142
01:00:41.740 --> 01:00:46.860
I'm going to, excuse me, I'm going to start to go into our next content.

1143
01:00:46.860 --> 01:00:49.500
We're going to talk about submission tonight, ladies.

1144
01:00:49.500 --> 01:00:55.540
And I want to talk first a little bit about, I kind of alluded to it earlier, not only

1145
01:00:55.540 --> 01:01:02.380
former husbands, but also, you know, men of authority and influence over us.

1146
01:01:02.380 --> 01:01:09.120
What does it look like when we experience that kind of, um, struggle where there's abuse

1147
01:01:09.120 --> 01:01:11.500
or there's mistreatment because of it.

1148
01:01:11.500 --> 01:01:13.260
And I want to give you the scripture first.

1149
01:01:13.260 --> 01:01:16.820
This was something specifically that came out of my time with the Lord this morning.

1150
01:01:16.820 --> 01:01:21.100
I don't normally include all of this in this, in the submission, but I felt led to release

1151
01:01:21.100 --> 01:01:23.940
it over the group today.

1152
01:01:24.340 --> 01:01:32.500
Colossians 3 21 in the NIV version says this, fathers do not embitter your children or they

1153
01:01:32.500 --> 01:01:36.500
will become discouraged.

1154
01:01:36.500 --> 01:01:39.820
In the King James version, it's the same scripture, just a different version.

1155
01:01:39.820 --> 01:01:45.540
It says, fathers provoke, not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

1156
01:01:45.940 --> 01:01:51.540
The scripture versus Colossians 3 21.

1157
01:01:51.540 --> 01:01:56.540
Provoking this is actually Greek, arethidzo, I don't know if I said it right, but that's

1158
01:01:56.540 --> 01:01:58.380
what it looks like.

1159
01:01:58.380 --> 01:02:06.340
It's to stir up, excite, stimulate, especially to anger and provoke a child.

1160
01:02:06.340 --> 01:02:10.500
If they are discouraged, it actually means like when a father does this, it actually

1161
01:02:10.500 --> 01:02:15.820
means to be disheartened, dispirited, broken in spirit, to be dismayed.

1162
01:02:15.820 --> 01:02:22.020
The definition of provoke is to call something forth, a feeling and action to stir up purposefully,

1163
01:02:22.020 --> 01:02:26.820
to incite, to anger, to arouse a feeling or action.

1164
01:02:26.820 --> 01:02:31.300
I'm bringing this up because the Lord was putting on my spirit this morning that I needed

1165
01:02:31.300 --> 01:02:39.620
to address the people in the room that have had unhealthy experiences with fathers, ex-husbands,

1166
01:02:39.620 --> 01:02:44.540
men in authority, and encourage you all to forgive your fathers, to forgive those men

1167
01:02:44.540 --> 01:02:49.380
in authority for the unhealthy actions and words and treatment that they committed towards

1168
01:02:49.380 --> 01:02:51.580
you.

1169
01:02:51.580 --> 01:02:57.420
And here's why, because when we're talking about submission, a lot of people automatically

1170
01:02:57.420 --> 01:03:02.580
go to, well, I, I'm not like, well, let me do this way.

1171
01:03:02.580 --> 01:03:03.860
Let me do this way.

1172
01:03:03.860 --> 01:03:09.020
Let me see the number of hands of people that are comfortable with submission.

1173
01:03:09.020 --> 01:03:14.660
Like you feel good about submission, you're comfortable submitting, anyone raising hands

1174
01:03:14.660 --> 01:03:15.660
on that?

1175
01:03:15.660 --> 01:03:19.420
We got a couple, but a majority are not.

1176
01:03:19.420 --> 01:03:20.700
And this is the reality.

1177
01:03:20.700 --> 01:03:25.340
Even in Christian circles, people are afraid of submission.

1178
01:03:25.340 --> 01:03:26.340
Why?

1179
01:03:26.340 --> 01:03:27.980
Because it's been mishandled.

1180
01:03:27.980 --> 01:03:29.580
It's been mistaught.

1181
01:03:29.580 --> 01:03:34.780
And so we are afraid of it because we have been given wrong information about what it

1182
01:03:34.780 --> 01:03:35.780
means.

1183
01:03:35.780 --> 01:03:41.300
And I want you to understand that God is not like that scripture that I just talked about.

1184
01:03:41.300 --> 01:03:44.620
God doesn't embitter his children.

1185
01:03:44.620 --> 01:03:48.220
He doesn't try to provoke us to anger.

1186
01:03:48.220 --> 01:03:49.220
He loves us.

1187
01:03:49.220 --> 01:03:55.460
He gently, even when he draws us to repentance, y'all, it says that God would lead us to repentance

1188
01:03:55.460 --> 01:03:58.780
through his loving kindnesses.

1189
01:03:58.780 --> 01:04:02.700
Does that sound like a God that would provoke us to anger?

1190
01:04:02.700 --> 01:04:03.960
It doesn't, right?

1191
01:04:03.960 --> 01:04:11.200
But so often, if we grew up in an environment where we did experience that, like Steffi

1192
01:04:11.200 --> 01:04:12.740
says, I still live with my dad.

1193
01:04:12.740 --> 01:04:16.120
It's hard to be under his house, but not safe under his wing.

1194
01:04:16.120 --> 01:04:21.680
You know, it's tough when you're navigating those situations and maybe have your whole

1195
01:04:21.680 --> 01:04:23.840
life or when you were younger, whenever it happened.

1196
01:04:23.840 --> 01:04:28.960
And some of you, praise God, had great parents, great dads, but it could be another person

1197
01:04:28.960 --> 01:04:31.360
in authority along the way.

1198
01:04:31.360 --> 01:04:35.280
And some of you may not have experienced this at all, but it was worth mentioning tonight

1199
01:04:35.280 --> 01:04:40.420
because in order for us to submit to God, we have to understand how our experiences

1200
01:04:40.420 --> 01:04:44.840
in the world impact our view of God.

1201
01:04:44.840 --> 01:04:50.080
It changes and distorts the way we're looking at God, the way we're looking at other men.

1202
01:04:50.080 --> 01:04:53.200
Like I was saying earlier, totally afraid of men.

1203
01:04:53.200 --> 01:04:54.200
Why?

1204
01:04:54.200 --> 01:04:55.680
Well, I had good reason, didn't I?

1205
01:04:55.680 --> 01:04:58.360
I was abused in a sense four different times.

1206
01:04:58.360 --> 01:04:59.360
And I didn't even...

1207
01:04:59.360 --> 01:04:59.360


1208
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.660
many more times the enemy tried to bring breakdown and destruction in my life through men and

1209
01:05:05.660 --> 01:05:11.660
through like sexual things that he kept trying to come at me with men attacking me y'all

1210
01:05:11.660 --> 01:05:17.620
this was just a little bit of the surface tonight that I share with you I could totally

1211
01:05:17.620 --> 01:05:23.660
have so many reasons to not like men but that's not God's that's not God's plan because guess

1212
01:05:23.660 --> 01:05:32.880
what that is not all men so many good men and so here is a key for you to understand

1213
01:05:32.880 --> 01:05:39.240
like in order for you to grow and really heal you understanding God's character is going

1214
01:05:39.240 --> 01:05:49.660
to be key for you so who is God as love who is God is kind who is God is faithful who

1215
01:05:49.660 --> 01:05:55.460
is God is good who is he has peace all of his characteristics like really spending time

1216
01:05:55.460 --> 01:06:02.000
like God show me who you are as kind to me like if I'm praying over my God show me who

1217
01:06:02.000 --> 01:06:06.640
you are as faithful to Bethany Cooper like what does that look like what does that sound

1218
01:06:06.640 --> 01:06:12.000
like help me to recognize it help me to not go past it and believe the lie of the enemy

1219
01:06:12.000 --> 01:06:17.720
that you're not good that you're an abuser that you don't protect me that you forsake

1220
01:06:17.780 --> 01:06:24.420
me and you leave me because that's not truth ladies but we believe it so many times when

1221
01:06:24.420 --> 01:06:31.760
we know capital NKNOW when we know and I'm putting in an emphasis there because I want

1222
01:06:31.760 --> 01:06:37.780
to lean into intimacy not love like sexual relationship but I'm talking about intimate

1223
01:06:37.780 --> 01:06:45.260
closeness with the Lord right now when we know the one we are submitting to and trust

1224
01:06:45.260 --> 01:06:53.560
them it can then help us choose to like submit and surrender when we know the one that we're

1225
01:06:53.560 --> 01:07:00.440
submitting to and there's someone that we can trust it becomes more doable and if we

1226
01:07:00.440 --> 01:07:05.920
have the right information that's kind of key to so who are we submitting to number

1227
01:07:05.920 --> 01:07:10.640
one we're submitting to God that's what we're asking of you in heart work that's what we're

1228
01:07:10.640 --> 01:07:17.100
asking of you on this journey to know that you can let go in this process that you can

1229
01:07:17.100 --> 01:07:21.940
learn if you you know a lot of us will say yeah I trust God I trust God I did trust God

1230
01:07:21.940 --> 01:07:28.460
to you all I did but even today I can tell you there are times where I'm like man this

1231
01:07:28.460 --> 01:07:36.100
is hard God I trust you but this is hard and there's a part of me that maybe an inkling

1232
01:07:36.100 --> 01:07:42.320
right now isn't trusting you fully and if that's true then it's probably because I need

1233
01:07:42.320 --> 01:07:48.580
to continue to grow and the understanding of his love for me getting more and more and

1234
01:07:48.580 --> 01:07:55.680
more rooted and grounded in his love changes everything submission means that we will yield

1235
01:07:55.680 --> 01:08:02.680
power to another and even as Jennifer was sharing earlier you know if you think about

1236
01:08:02.680 --> 01:08:09.760
it that's a good example you know are we willing to yield the power to someone else

1237
01:08:09.760 --> 01:08:17.479
and what if they make a mistake what if things do fall apart I know love is a risk ladies

1238
01:08:17.479 --> 01:08:22.439
it is but it's worth it when it works out and sometimes you know it's not healthy to

1239
01:08:22.439 --> 01:08:27.500
give people all power so understand I'm talking about healthy people here that we're going

1240
01:08:27.500 --> 01:08:33.060
to submit to and God is number one healthiest person well I mean he's God he's man you know

1241
01:08:33.060 --> 01:08:37.180
what I'm saying but we're gonna we're gonna submit to him because he's healthy that's

1242
01:08:37.180 --> 01:08:43.700
why so we don't want to just go around submitting to people that are not healthy for us to submit

1243
01:08:43.700 --> 01:08:47.500
to the people that try to lord it over us which we're gonna talk about that here in

1244
01:08:47.500 --> 01:08:54.620
a minute submission is not about someone dominating us controlling us or dominating and controlling

1245
01:08:54.620 --> 01:08:58.859
other people if you're going on dates with someone and they're dominating and trying

1246
01:08:58.859 --> 01:09:05.660
to control the waitress y'all pay attention to those things that's that's a hello pay

1247
01:09:05.660 --> 01:09:09.300
attention because if they're doing that to the waitress guess what their good behavior

1248
01:09:09.300 --> 01:09:15.220
on the date with you will eventually go away submission is not about someone dominating

1249
01:09:15.220 --> 01:09:20.140
us or us dominating them it's not about them controlling and dominating other people this

1250
01:09:20.140 --> 01:09:28.060
is what submission is about a mutual respect and surrender towards each other a mutual

1251
01:09:28.060 --> 01:09:36.340
both parties coming together and submitting to each other with respect and surrender I

1252
01:09:36.340 --> 01:09:41.939
can tell you from experience I submitted to my ex-husband in a time when I was really

1253
01:09:41.939 --> 01:09:47.220
like for years I did not I mean I tried my best to submit to him but I really didn't

1254
01:09:47.220 --> 01:09:52.540
fully and there was a time where I was really trying to show him like I'm a good wife I'm

1255
01:09:52.540 --> 01:09:56.820
a supportive wife this is my ex-husband and I was doing all the things to try to show

1256
01:09:56.820 --> 01:09:59.820
that support and all of that and y'all

1257
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.400
made a wrong decision in a time I shouldn't have given him that.

1258
01:10:04.400 --> 01:10:07.360
And he had full reign and it really created a lot of destruction,

1259
01:10:07.360 --> 01:10:10.640
not only in our marriage, but it impacted my mom.

1260
01:10:10.640 --> 01:10:12.720
And it was just this whole landslide of stuff.

1261
01:10:13.160 --> 01:10:18.320
But I'm saying that to say to you that in future relationships,

1262
01:10:18.640 --> 01:10:22.960
I was afraid of submission for a while. And then I met Brian.

1263
01:10:23.280 --> 01:10:24.480
Brian is my husband.

1264
01:10:24.480 --> 01:10:28.800
We've been married a little over two and a half years now and you all,

1265
01:10:29.040 --> 01:10:33.840
Brian and I had many conversations about this topic, submission.

1266
01:10:34.320 --> 01:10:36.880
Y'all want to know one of the questions and this wasn't something I asked him

1267
01:10:36.880 --> 01:10:38.880
right on the beginning. So just so y'all know,

1268
01:10:38.880 --> 01:10:42.680
this was further into our relationship of getting to know each other.

1269
01:10:43.120 --> 01:10:47.080
But my question to him was, what is your viewpoint of submission?

1270
01:10:48.120 --> 01:10:49.840
I wanted to know what did he view?

1271
01:10:50.080 --> 01:10:54.640
Cause my ex-husband's view of submission was I'm going to tell you what I think

1272
01:10:54.640 --> 01:10:59.200
you need to do and you're going to get in line. And that wasn't God's way.

1273
01:10:59.560 --> 01:11:02.080
And God was teaching me a lot about submission.

1274
01:11:02.400 --> 01:11:07.400
And thankfully my husband is the one that also said that mutual respect and

1275
01:11:08.120 --> 01:11:09.560
surrender. That was his belief.

1276
01:11:09.560 --> 01:11:13.440
That's why we moved forward together because I knew that I needed to be with

1277
01:11:13.440 --> 01:11:17.160
someone that believed in the partnership, teammates.

1278
01:11:18.360 --> 01:11:22.600
Sometimes I see things in the spirit that Brian doesn't see and I can kind of

1279
01:11:22.600 --> 01:11:26.920
convey something to protect us from something going into a decision or

1280
01:11:26.920 --> 01:11:29.920
whatever. And sometimes he sees things that I don't see.

1281
01:11:30.360 --> 01:11:34.280
And so if we don't submit to each other, guess what?

1282
01:11:34.280 --> 01:11:36.920
God's saying something at times to him or to me.

1283
01:11:37.400 --> 01:11:40.280
And that's the point we're a team.

1284
01:11:42.320 --> 01:11:45.760
And I might miss something that God is saying to protect us.

1285
01:11:45.800 --> 01:11:50.800
If I wasn't willing to submit and surrender to my husband's insight.

1286
01:11:51.360 --> 01:11:53.200
And vice versa. Okay.

1287
01:11:54.640 --> 01:11:57.640
I want to take you a little further into God and who he is tonight.

1288
01:11:57.640 --> 01:12:00.160
I want to give you some truth about who God is.

1289
01:12:02.000 --> 01:12:03.520
God is a gentleman.

1290
01:12:04.600 --> 01:12:07.360
I want you to kind of keep that in the forefront of your mind.

1291
01:12:07.360 --> 01:12:10.680
He is a gentleman. Revelation 3 20. Behold,

1292
01:12:10.680 --> 01:12:14.880
I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door,

1293
01:12:14.880 --> 01:12:19.040
I will come into him and eat with him and he with me and your heart healing

1294
01:12:19.240 --> 01:12:22.600
and your heart healing process. We encourage you to yield to God.

1295
01:12:23.200 --> 01:12:25.480
He will not force his way on you.

1296
01:12:26.640 --> 01:12:29.280
He will stand at the door of your heart and knock,

1297
01:12:29.880 --> 01:12:34.320
and he will ask permission to enter. Feel the Holy spirit on this.

1298
01:12:34.320 --> 01:12:37.160
Y'all some of you even right now, you're so afraid.

1299
01:12:37.160 --> 01:12:41.760
He's going to force you into things. He's not going to force you into anything.

1300
01:12:41.760 --> 01:12:45.880
It's your choice. When we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and savior,

1301
01:12:45.880 --> 01:12:48.680
you all it's our choice to do so.

1302
01:12:49.480 --> 01:12:51.480
Why would anything else be different?

1303
01:12:53.800 --> 01:12:58.800
Why do we believe the lies of the enemy that God is trying to force us to pick

1304
01:12:59.440 --> 01:13:03.840
somebody that we will never like, or whatever the lie is that we believe

1305
01:13:06.120 --> 01:13:09.280
he's standing at the door of our hearts and he's knocking and he's asking

1306
01:13:09.280 --> 01:13:10.120
permission to enter.

1307
01:13:10.120 --> 01:13:14.280
It's up to us to give him permission to enter through our surrender and

1308
01:13:14.280 --> 01:13:15.120
submission.

1309
01:13:15.240 --> 01:13:19.280
This goes back to the do not enter signs when we're in the healing process.

1310
01:13:19.520 --> 01:13:19.760
You know,

1311
01:13:19.760 --> 01:13:23.560
we have these signs erected on our hearts subconsciously sometimes where we're

1312
01:13:23.560 --> 01:13:26.880
just like, God, I want you to come in and heal.

1313
01:13:26.880 --> 01:13:30.160
But then he starts meddling if you will. We'll, we'll say it.

1314
01:13:30.160 --> 01:13:33.040
We'll he starts meddling in there in a good way.

1315
01:13:33.040 --> 01:13:36.880
But those things start coming up and then we're like, Whoa, wait a minute. No,

1316
01:13:37.160 --> 01:13:39.600
like I don't want to go there.

1317
01:13:41.000 --> 01:13:45.080
But then are we really fully surrendered? Are we really submitting?

1318
01:13:46.120 --> 01:13:50.240
And there's a reason that we're submitting. It's, it's this posture of God.

1319
01:13:50.240 --> 01:13:55.440
I need you. You know, there's a song every hour. I need you, God,

1320
01:13:55.440 --> 01:13:58.360
I need you, you know, like, I'm not going to try to sing it,

1321
01:13:58.360 --> 01:14:00.280
but just that's what just came up in my spirit.

1322
01:14:00.280 --> 01:14:02.840
Like we can't do things without him.

1323
01:14:04.320 --> 01:14:08.320
He's the vine or the branches apart from him.

1324
01:14:08.320 --> 01:14:12.520
We can do no thing. He's our sub location,

1325
01:14:12.520 --> 01:14:16.440
everything that we have need of he'll give to us job.

1326
01:14:16.440 --> 01:14:21.440
2221 in the NLT version says this submit to God and you will

1327
01:14:21.440 --> 01:14:24.880
have peace. Then things will go well with you.

1328
01:14:26.000 --> 01:14:30.520
Peace here is the Hebrew word. Um, I, I didn't write the word,

1329
01:14:30.520 --> 01:14:34.280
but it's seven, nine, nine, nine, three nines, seven and three nines,

1330
01:14:34.520 --> 01:14:38.720
but it's a Hebrew word. And it says to be in covenant in a, excuse me,

1331
01:14:38.720 --> 01:14:42.520
to be in a covenant of peace, to complete,

1332
01:14:42.560 --> 01:14:46.200
to finish to make whole or good to restore.

1333
01:14:46.960 --> 01:14:49.920
So this scripture is saying, if we submit to God,

1334
01:14:49.920 --> 01:14:52.920
God is in a covenant of peace with us.

1335
01:14:54.600 --> 01:14:58.640
And then things will go well with us. Y'all covenant is commitment.

1336
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.240
Job 22, yeah, thank you, Maria.

1337
01:15:03.240 --> 01:15:04.460
So let's think about this.

1338
01:15:04.460 --> 01:15:06.540
Some of you all have encountered men

1339
01:15:06.540 --> 01:15:08.820
that haven't been willing to commit.

1340
01:15:10.180 --> 01:15:13.740
God's always willing and ready to commit to you.

1341
01:15:13.740 --> 01:15:17.620
He's already wanting to be in covenant with you,

1342
01:15:17.620 --> 01:15:20.940
but us submitting to him in his process,

1343
01:15:20.940 --> 01:15:24.260
even in our healing process, is so important.

1344
01:15:24.260 --> 01:15:27.820
Proverbs 3, verse 5 in the message version says this,

1345
01:15:27.820 --> 01:15:30.720
trust God from the bottom of your heart.

1346
01:15:30.720 --> 01:15:33.640
Don't try to figure out everything on your own.

1347
01:15:33.640 --> 01:15:36.720
Listen for God's voice in everything that you do,

1348
01:15:36.720 --> 01:15:38.360
everywhere that you go.

1349
01:15:38.360 --> 01:15:41.680
He's the one who will keep you on track.

1350
01:15:41.680 --> 01:15:43.500
Don't assume that you know it all.

1351
01:15:44.760 --> 01:15:46.960
I'm gonna put you in your breakout session.

1352
01:15:46.960 --> 01:15:49.680
I'm gonna read over you, even if you've read it before.

1353
01:15:49.680 --> 01:15:51.820
I can't remember if I've read this over y'all recently,

1354
01:15:51.820 --> 01:15:53.700
but I'm gonna do it again tonight.

1355
01:15:53.700 --> 01:15:55.760
I just wanna get you in the posture of submission

1356
01:15:55.760 --> 01:15:57.560
before you go into the breakout room.

1357
01:15:58.300 --> 01:15:59.480
Your question when you go into the breakout room

1358
01:15:59.480 --> 01:16:01.620
is do you struggle with submission and why?

1359
01:16:02.500 --> 01:16:05.700
Do you struggle with submission and why?

1360
01:16:05.700 --> 01:16:07.540
I wanna encourage you just to receive this.

1361
01:16:07.540 --> 01:16:10.340
I always feel like closing our eyes

1362
01:16:10.340 --> 01:16:13.980
and kind of just being open heart surrender position

1363
01:16:13.980 --> 01:16:15.540
is really good for this.

1364
01:16:15.540 --> 01:16:17.500
And I'm gonna read this over you.

1365
01:16:17.500 --> 01:16:19.980
This is the submission activation from the HeartWork book.

1366
01:16:19.980 --> 01:16:21.380
And it says this,

1367
01:16:21.380 --> 01:16:24.780
Father God, I give you permission to search me

1368
01:16:24.780 --> 01:16:26.260
and to reveal anything in my heart

1369
01:16:26.260 --> 01:16:28.600
that does not belong to my true identity

1370
01:16:28.600 --> 01:16:30.500
and that is hindering me from living the life

1371
01:16:30.500 --> 01:16:32.080
you created me to live.

1372
01:16:32.080 --> 01:16:34.520
Holy Spirit, I invite you into the darkest places

1373
01:16:34.520 --> 01:16:35.640
in my heart.

1374
01:16:35.640 --> 01:16:37.400
Show me the areas that are still wounded

1375
01:16:37.400 --> 01:16:39.040
and are still hurting.

1376
01:16:39.040 --> 01:16:41.120
When you reveal these broken places to me,

1377
01:16:41.120 --> 01:16:44.580
I covenant with you to release them into your care

1378
01:16:44.580 --> 01:16:48.000
and to respond with forgiveness and repentance.

1379
01:16:48.000 --> 01:16:49.840
I set aside this season of my life

1380
01:16:49.840 --> 01:16:51.960
for a time of healing and wholeness

1381
01:16:51.960 --> 01:16:55.880
and ask Holy Spirit to take charge of this process.

1382
01:16:56.500 --> 01:16:58.200
I ask that you dwell with me and in me.

1383
01:16:58.200 --> 01:17:00.400
I need you.

1384
01:17:00.400 --> 01:17:02.200
I cannot heal myself.

1385
01:17:02.200 --> 01:17:04.120
I want to be free from the past,

1386
01:17:04.120 --> 01:17:06.160
free to be who I truly am.

1387
01:17:06.160 --> 01:17:08.880
Help me to become who you created me to be.

1388
01:17:08.880 --> 01:17:10.960
Show me the lies I've believed about myself,

1389
01:17:10.960 --> 01:17:12.920
my life, my surroundings,

1390
01:17:12.920 --> 01:17:15.840
even the lies I've believed about you, God.

1391
01:17:15.840 --> 01:17:17.780
Teach me the greater truth.

1392
01:17:17.780 --> 01:17:19.360
Teach me your ways.

1393
01:17:19.360 --> 01:17:23.160
Teach me how to think and how to live abundantly.

1394
01:17:23.160 --> 01:17:27.000
Teach me, show me, heal me, grow me.

1395
01:17:27.000 --> 01:17:29.760
In Jesus name, amen.

1396
01:17:29.760 --> 01:17:31.080
I'm gonna put you in the breakout.

1397
01:17:31.080 --> 01:17:32.760
Y'all can start to talk about this.

1398
01:17:32.760 --> 01:17:35.000
I'm gonna give you four minutes this time.

1399
01:17:35.000 --> 01:17:36.640
So short, brief, and powerful.

1400
01:17:36.640 --> 01:17:39.200
Do you struggle with submission and why?

1401
01:17:39.200 --> 01:17:41.360
I'm gonna recreate the rooms as well.

1402
01:17:44.280 --> 01:17:45.520
Oh, let's see here.

1403
01:17:48.000 --> 01:17:49.580
Give me one second.

1404
01:17:53.160 --> 01:17:54.160
There we go.

1405
01:18:05.000 --> 01:18:05.840
Okay.

1406
01:18:05.840 --> 01:18:07.880
Sorry, y'all had to fix something there.

1407
01:18:09.520 --> 01:18:10.640
Okay, there you go.

1408
01:18:10.640 --> 01:18:11.480
Okay.

1409
01:18:23.120 --> 01:18:24.080
Yeah, go ahead and click to join

1410
01:18:24.080 --> 01:18:25.680
to get in those rooms for me.

1411
01:18:40.640 --> 01:18:41.480
Okay.

1412
01:19:03.120 --> 01:19:05.480
Okay, Father, thank you so much for your goodness.

1413
01:19:05.480 --> 01:19:08.320
God, thank you that you'll help all the women

1414
01:19:08.320 --> 01:19:10.960
be able to share very quickly in their breakouts,

1415
01:19:10.960 --> 01:19:13.360
but to get to the root of the matter

1416
01:19:13.360 --> 01:19:14.880
with submission as well.

1417
01:19:14.880 --> 01:19:16.740
Lord, thank you for the conversations

1418
01:19:16.740 --> 01:19:19.240
that are happening in the rooms.

1419
01:19:19.240 --> 01:19:21.480
Jennifer, did you get kicked out?

1420
01:19:21.480 --> 01:19:23.840
Yeah, I couldn't enter a room.

1421
01:19:23.840 --> 01:19:24.680
That's okay.

1422
01:19:24.680 --> 01:19:26.400
I was trying to, someone was by themselves.

1423
01:19:26.400 --> 01:19:28.840
I think that might be what happened there.

1424
01:19:28.840 --> 01:19:30.320
Where are you at right now?

1425
01:19:34.840 --> 01:19:36.520
Sorry, I gotta find you.

1426
01:19:37.320 --> 01:19:38.240
Oh, there it is.

1427
01:19:40.560 --> 01:19:43.160
Okay, that should pop up there for you.

1428
01:19:43.160 --> 01:19:44.280
Okay, thanks.

1429
01:19:44.280 --> 01:19:45.120
You're welcome.

1430
01:19:45.120 --> 01:19:46.240
So Father, we just thank you

1431
01:19:46.240 --> 01:19:48.960
that you'll just bring peace into all these rooms,

1432
01:19:48.960 --> 01:19:51.040
even as they're talking about submission.

1433
01:19:51.040 --> 01:19:53.880
Lord, I pray that you would help us to understand

1434
01:19:53.880 --> 01:19:57.880
all the ways that we need you in every moment of our lives.

1435
01:19:57.880 --> 01:19:59.840
I thank you that you would help us to.

1436
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:08.720
Get an upgrade in our understanding of who You are as God, as love and faithful and kind,

1437
01:20:08.720 --> 01:20:15.200
this joy-filled, peaceful place that we can enter into and rest.

1438
01:20:15.200 --> 01:20:23.360
We thank You for helping us to receive revelation and insight regarding Your perspective of

1439
01:20:23.360 --> 01:20:30.040
us, Father, and an upgrade in understanding of our value and our worth, that You would

1440
01:20:30.040 --> 01:20:35.920
silence every voice of the enemy that has tried to bring destruction and death inside

1441
01:20:35.920 --> 01:20:42.640
of ourselves, where we even at times have been at war within ourself in certain ways.

1442
01:20:42.640 --> 01:20:43.640
Lord, we thank You.

1443
01:20:43.640 --> 01:20:47.240
Oh, Sylvia, you're trying to connect to voice.

1444
01:20:47.240 --> 01:20:48.960
I just saw it.

1445
01:20:48.960 --> 01:20:51.960
So sorry.

1446
01:20:51.960 --> 01:21:02.000
And so I'm guessing you're trying to put your iPad in that room.

1447
01:21:02.000 --> 01:21:03.760
Let me put you into...

1448
01:21:03.760 --> 01:21:05.400
Let's see if this works.

1449
01:21:05.400 --> 01:21:09.760
I just put you into that room that you were originally got the invite for.

1450
01:21:09.760 --> 01:21:11.520
So Lord, we just thank You.

1451
01:21:11.520 --> 01:21:12.840
Even Arianne, I see your message.

1452
01:21:12.840 --> 01:21:19.640
Lord, we just thank You for, you know, sometimes we experience anger when we hear certain scriptures

1453
01:21:19.640 --> 01:21:21.200
because of things we've gone through.

1454
01:21:21.200 --> 01:21:25.120
So Lord, we just thank You for peace that passes all understanding, that guards our

1455
01:21:25.120 --> 01:21:29.960
hearts and our minds through Christ Jesus, that can also help our bodies calm down.

1456
01:21:29.960 --> 01:21:36.440
We speak peace like a river flowing down from heaven over every one of our bodies, our minds,

1457
01:21:36.440 --> 01:21:40.960
our spirits, our souls, Lord, we speak forgiveness and peace.

1458
01:21:40.960 --> 01:21:48.880
We release those that have harmed us in any way into Your care, Lord, into Your plan for

1459
01:21:48.880 --> 01:21:49.880
their lives.

1460
01:21:49.880 --> 01:21:54.200
We thank You, God, that You forgave us so we will forgive other people.

1461
01:21:54.200 --> 01:22:01.280
We thank You, God, for sending so many good people into our lives to show us something

1462
01:22:01.280 --> 01:22:03.600
different than what we experienced with those people.

1463
01:22:03.600 --> 01:22:08.800
And we thank You, God, that You send spiritual mothers and fathers into our lives, friends,

1464
01:22:08.800 --> 01:22:11.400
you know, healthy husbands in the future.

1465
01:22:11.400 --> 01:22:15.680
I speak that over all of these ladies and all that You're doing in their lives.

1466
01:22:15.680 --> 01:22:20.440
We thank You, God, that they can have a different experience in the future than what they've

1467
01:22:20.440 --> 01:22:22.040
experienced in the past, Lord.

1468
01:22:22.040 --> 01:22:28.560
We just thank You that, yeah, Your peace can rule and reign in our hearts and our minds,

1469
01:22:28.560 --> 01:22:30.920
our bodies, our spirits, and our souls.

1470
01:22:30.920 --> 01:22:37.260
We thank You, Lord, that You can help us to receive, yeah, just forgiveness for ourselves

1471
01:22:37.260 --> 01:22:42.520
in any area where we have struggled in the past and made mistakes or decisions, God.

1472
01:22:42.520 --> 01:22:47.120
We thank You that You would help us tonight to release ourselves from the prison that

1473
01:22:47.120 --> 01:22:48.920
we've kept ourselves in, Lord.

1474
01:22:48.920 --> 01:22:51.640
We declare freedom and liberty to the captives.

1475
01:22:51.640 --> 01:22:55.400
It says in the Word that wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

1476
01:22:55.400 --> 01:22:59.360
And so we just speak freedom over every one of these ladies that are here live, those

1477
01:22:59.360 --> 01:23:01.040
that are watching the replay.

1478
01:23:01.040 --> 01:23:05.880
We thank You, God, for leading us into greater truth, into greater insight.

1479
01:23:05.880 --> 01:23:07.800
And Lord, the good, good life.

1480
01:23:07.800 --> 01:23:12.040
And I just keep thinking of two things, Elijah, when he was on the mountain and God came with

1481
01:23:12.040 --> 01:23:13.640
that still small voice.

1482
01:23:13.640 --> 01:23:17.920
And then also the other story with him where the goodness of God was chasing him down as

1483
01:23:17.920 --> 01:23:18.920
he went down the mountain.

1484
01:23:18.920 --> 01:23:23.320
And so for whatever reason, ladies, I just felt led to share that with you as well, that

1485
01:23:23.320 --> 01:23:27.440
God is good and His goodness can chase us down in a good way.

1486
01:23:27.440 --> 01:23:31.480
We can experience the goodness of God in the land of the living.

1487
01:23:31.480 --> 01:23:32.480
That means now.

1488
01:23:32.480 --> 01:23:36.440
I'm going to give you all your activation and then we're going to have time to share

1489
01:23:36.440 --> 01:23:39.480
for like a minute or two probably.

1490
01:23:39.480 --> 01:23:43.540
But your activation this week is called a root drawing.

1491
01:23:43.540 --> 01:23:47.600
So basically what I want you to do, and I'm going to show you an example here in a minute,

1492
01:23:47.600 --> 01:23:52.920
is pray and really ask the Lord, what are the roots in your life?

1493
01:23:52.920 --> 01:23:55.920
And how do you discover the roots while you know what the fruit is?

1494
01:23:55.920 --> 01:23:59.600
So where is there unhealthy fruit showing up in your life right now?

1495
01:23:59.600 --> 01:24:02.720
And where is there good fruit showing up in your life right now?

1496
01:24:02.720 --> 01:24:05.800
And you're going to see that in the HeartWork book.

1497
01:24:05.800 --> 01:24:09.760
There's a part of one of the chapters that talks about fruits versus roots.

1498
01:24:09.760 --> 01:24:14.940
You know, the fruit that's bad can be any kind of area of sin, any kind of area of destruction

1499
01:24:14.940 --> 01:24:17.600
that's showing up as a pattern in our life.

1500
01:24:17.600 --> 01:24:22.880
But I really want to identify some of these things and help you all begin to decipher

1501
01:24:22.880 --> 01:24:27.320
so that you can start to see, oh, I don't know if you see, do you see the tree right

1502
01:24:27.320 --> 01:24:28.320
now?

1503
01:24:28.320 --> 01:24:31.380
Okay, cool.

1504
01:24:31.380 --> 01:24:34.740
So this is someone else's example.

1505
01:24:34.740 --> 01:24:38.040
And so it can look, y'all, doesn't have to look exactly like this.

1506
01:24:38.040 --> 01:24:41.380
Some people have done, there's, you know, more crafty, less crafty.

1507
01:24:41.380 --> 01:24:45.760
The point is getting this stuff kind of on the paper and processing it.

1508
01:24:45.760 --> 01:24:50.500
So when you're really thinking, this is a good example, some of her roots, kind of one

1509
01:24:50.500 --> 01:24:53.580
of mine I shared with you earlier was fear of man.

1510
01:24:53.580 --> 01:24:57.420
So okay, well, what fruit is that creating?

1511
01:24:57.420 --> 01:25:00.020
You know, what is, what's being reproduced as a

1512
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.480
result of that root of fear of man. Do you understand? And so if you look where she led

1513
01:25:06.480 --> 01:25:12.800
that, it went to confusion, stuck, crippled, smaller world. So those were some negative

1514
01:25:12.800 --> 01:25:18.080
fruit that she thought was showing up in her life as a result of the fear of man.

1515
01:25:18.080 --> 01:25:24.240
But her faith root leads up to some, I'm not sure for which one, 100%, but pleasing God,

1516
01:25:24.240 --> 01:25:29.520
hope, connection, healthy relationships. And so, you know, there's these different good

1517
01:25:29.520 --> 01:25:34.080
roots that are leading to good fruit. And so I want you to really pray. Don't just copy what

1518
01:25:34.080 --> 01:25:39.280
someone, not that you would, but just, you know, take this as your own process and really ask the

1519
01:25:39.280 --> 01:25:44.880
Lord, like what's going on in my life? What are the roots that I have in the fruits that showing

1520
01:25:44.880 --> 01:25:51.600
up good and bad, healthy and unhealthy, and really start to identify those. And as you identify those,

1521
01:25:51.600 --> 01:25:56.960
this is where it can help you with that revealing for healing cycle as well. When you identify the

1522
01:25:56.960 --> 01:26:03.280
roots in fruit, y'all, that can be right there. A lie is, you know, that we have to be afraid of

1523
01:26:03.280 --> 01:26:09.920
man. Another lie, let's see, what'd she say here? Unhealthy in efficiency, unhealthy, something.

1524
01:26:09.920 --> 01:26:15.360
Yeah. Or like self-protect lie might be, she has to self-protect because nobody else will protect

1525
01:26:15.360 --> 01:26:21.120
her. Well, that's not a lie. And that's leading to living a small life because if we don't ever

1526
01:26:21.120 --> 01:26:26.400
let anybody else in, well, that's a lot of isolation, isn't it? Do you all see how that

1527
01:26:26.400 --> 01:26:33.680
kind of works together? And so I want you all to create your own roots and fruit tree and then

1528
01:26:33.680 --> 01:26:39.200
post it in the group. Okay. This is another opportunity to come into, another opportunity

1529
01:26:39.200 --> 01:26:45.040
to come into community, to show up for yourself. And no, you're not doing it for other people.

1530
01:26:45.040 --> 01:26:49.600
You're doing it for yourself, but it's going to bless and minister to other people too, when we

1531
01:26:49.600 --> 01:26:54.000
show up in community. I had one of the ladies that was on the live session this afternoon. I'm

1532
01:26:54.000 --> 01:26:59.440
not sure if she's here again, live tonight, but she created a video in the group this afternoon,

1533
01:26:59.440 --> 01:27:05.200
y'all. It's great. It's great. And she's just sharing some things that God was speaking to her.

1534
01:27:05.200 --> 01:27:10.240
And she did the activation of letting go. And she set her paper on fire of the things that

1535
01:27:10.240 --> 01:27:15.200
she was letting go of. That was an activation I issued a couple of weeks ago. And so I really

1536
01:27:15.200 --> 01:27:20.480
believe that these activations can help you all get an additional breakthrough. It's up to you if

1537
01:27:20.480 --> 01:27:24.400
you want to do it or not, but we're just putting it out there, but we'd love to hear from you.

1538
01:27:25.120 --> 01:27:29.200
Is there anyone, we have three more minutes. Is there anyone that wants to share with the

1539
01:27:29.200 --> 01:27:33.280
whole group what you shared in your breakout about this submission? Do you struggle with

1540
01:27:33.280 --> 01:27:42.080
submission and why? Awesome. Joy, go ahead. Okay. I shared with the two sisters and

1541
01:27:42.800 --> 01:27:50.720
about my previous job, previous employer. So I know I discovered more clearly about the, if I

1542
01:27:50.720 --> 01:28:02.320
have problems about submission, one, because the fear, because of fear and afraid to trust someone,

1543
01:28:02.320 --> 01:28:11.040
you know, it was on me. They may not. Okay. Then I told them the one specific example is that

1544
01:28:11.040 --> 01:28:19.120
like a Chinese year that is a snake year. So, and my previous boss, they allow people

1545
01:28:19.920 --> 01:28:24.400
either design on flyer to celebrate the Chinese new year, they put a snake, right?

1546
01:28:25.040 --> 01:28:30.560
So if I already left the company, all right, I'm just saying that it happened before different

1547
01:28:30.560 --> 01:28:40.400
design. If I just submit, okay. They say, okay, because the Chinese new year, but in my heart,

1548
01:28:40.400 --> 01:28:49.040
in my spirit, I hate it. I hate it. I discussed it. Even the boss tell me just choose that design.

1549
01:28:49.680 --> 01:28:58.240
Probably I could not submit, but then the word of God says, even a wicked authority, you have to

1550
01:28:58.240 --> 01:29:06.080
obey. So for me, definitely will be have inner struggles in my heart. I did not want to obey.

1551
01:29:06.080 --> 01:29:12.160
I definitely have to tell the designer to give a different design, but probably my boss say it's

1552
01:29:12.160 --> 01:29:19.760
okay. So that it happened before with different designs. I really, I struggled at have the told

1553
01:29:19.760 --> 01:29:27.360
the design rate to design and come out much better, but the boss just he or she did not

1554
01:29:28.000 --> 01:29:35.120
the same. We do not have the same perspective. Yes. And this is a great example, Joy. I'm so

1555
01:29:35.120 --> 01:29:42.240
glad that you brought this up. It makes me think of years ago, I was working for a secular company

1556
01:29:42.240 --> 01:29:48.960
and my boss wanted me to go buy a bottle of wine for something he was going to give a gift to

1557
01:29:48.960 --> 01:29:55.840
someone. And at the time, I mean, this is years ago, y'all, I didn't understand that there can

1558
01:29:55.840 --> 01:29:59.840
be balance here, but like, I did not want anyone to see me going into that store.

1559
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.800
to buy wine because I didn't want to give any appearance of evil, right? And I'm not saying

1560
01:30:04.800 --> 01:30:09.600
that I don't still feel the same to some degree, but I'm not worried about that so much anymore

1561
01:30:09.600 --> 01:30:16.240
because I know what I do in my time and I know kind of how I live. But in that time, I just

1562
01:30:16.240 --> 01:30:20.640
didn't, you know, and it was this big, you know, thing back and forth. Thankfully, he honored that

1563
01:30:20.640 --> 01:30:27.600
even though he didn't understand it. But sometimes we are going to be asked to do things that we may

1564
01:30:27.600 --> 01:30:34.960
not want to because we don't feel right about it and in our spirit, submit to that thing. And that

1565
01:30:34.960 --> 01:30:40.720
is okay. It's healthy for us to communicate, you know, kind of where we stand now. Know that

1566
01:30:40.720 --> 01:30:45.760
sometimes that can cause friction in jobs and things like that, especially if you're working

1567
01:30:45.760 --> 01:30:52.560
for someone that isn't a believer. But that doesn't mean we can't use our voice and communicate,

1568
01:30:52.560 --> 01:30:56.480
you know, our thoughts, our feelings. And that's where I was saying earlier,

1569
01:30:56.480 --> 01:31:03.120
knowing what our values are, what do we believe in and having that defined already will help us

1570
01:31:03.680 --> 01:31:10.320
even when we go into employer relationships. Because sometimes our employers, I had an employer

1571
01:31:10.320 --> 01:31:15.600
kind of like try, you know, even though a little like, hey, nobody, like you can just lie a little

1572
01:31:15.600 --> 01:31:21.360
bit, you know, that kind of stuff. No, like, no, I'm not going to do that. You know, so I think

1573
01:31:21.360 --> 01:31:26.320
it's healthy for us to not always submit, especially when something isn't sitting right

1574
01:31:26.320 --> 01:31:31.280
in our spirit. And with that culture there, that might be tough to speak up and say that, but

1575
01:31:31.280 --> 01:31:36.000
yeah, absolutely. Don't feel like we have to just go along with everything just because someone is

1576
01:31:36.000 --> 01:31:43.600
an authority over us. That was great joy. Thank you for sharing. Even the wicked and the Bible

1577
01:31:44.480 --> 01:31:54.720
you have to submit. So if they're not have that Godly value. So do I, of course I did speak out,

1578
01:31:54.720 --> 01:32:03.120
you know, many times, but sometimes it's not very easy to come here, but do I still submit?

1579
01:32:03.120 --> 01:32:11.600
That's my question. You know, do you still submit when, when what, when they do not change their

1580
01:32:11.600 --> 01:32:19.760
mind, they're still holding the worldly standard, worldly value? I mean, here's the thing. Here's

1581
01:32:19.760 --> 01:32:25.120
the thing. Is it going to cause you to be in sin to print that snake, that flyer with the snake on it?

1582
01:32:29.920 --> 01:32:34.720
I really discussed it. It really, really, I don't want to exhort any snake. This is God's

1583
01:32:34.720 --> 01:32:38.800
in you. Every year is God's in you, holy year. Why we shouldn't exhort any snake,

1584
01:32:38.880 --> 01:32:44.960
call it the year belongs to snake. So to me, I could not do it. I'm sorry.

1585
01:32:45.760 --> 01:32:50.240
Probably I have to leave the job. Yeah. And that's why I said, this is where you have to

1586
01:32:50.240 --> 01:32:54.880
talk with your employer. And if your employer is like, you have to, you have to,

1587
01:32:54.880 --> 01:32:58.880
then you might have to make a decision there. Do you stay with that employer? If you're that,

1588
01:32:58.880 --> 01:33:06.800
you know, not good with it on, in, on the inside, or, you know, is it something where you can move

1589
01:33:06.800 --> 01:33:10.720
forward and, and print it, you know, that's something between you and the Lord, you'll have

1590
01:33:10.720 --> 01:33:16.880
to really pray into that and decide. But, and that's why I said, not everything that people

1591
01:33:16.880 --> 01:33:22.400
ask us to do, should we submit to if it's something that's causing us to not feel healthy on the

1592
01:33:22.400 --> 01:33:28.880
inside, but only you can decide how to navigate that, you know, going forward. I, we are getting

1593
01:33:28.880 --> 01:33:33.600
after time. So I want to be conscious of that. I do want to give Steffi a chance to share real

1594
01:33:33.600 --> 01:33:37.440
quick. If anyone needs to jump off, totally understand. Thank you all for being here

1595
01:33:37.440 --> 01:33:45.120
tonight. Steffi, go ahead. I would say I have difficulty with submission because

1596
01:33:45.840 --> 01:33:51.920
I am avoidantly attached. I have avoidant attachment behaviors, in other words.

1597
01:33:54.320 --> 01:33:57.840
Okay. Tell me how that, what, like in all relationships or

1598
01:33:57.840 --> 01:34:05.840
romantic or what are we referring to here? Romantic, family, professionalism. I feel

1599
01:34:05.840 --> 01:34:13.600
disconnected to romantic partners. I feel misunderstood. I expect the worst in relationship

1600
01:34:13.600 --> 01:34:19.200
so that automatically puts like a guard up, I guess, for me to allow myself to submit to whoever,

1601
01:34:20.240 --> 01:34:26.560
avoiding conflict, like I said, in the workplace. I have this nagging sense that something is wrong

1602
01:34:26.640 --> 01:34:33.760
or like missing when it comes to romantic, frequent thoughts about ending the relationship,

1603
01:34:33.760 --> 01:34:39.120
which is exactly what I've been doing for years. So let me ask you this. I can't remember it. I

1604
01:34:39.120 --> 01:34:43.200
know that we chatted before, Steffi, so I apologize that I can't recall exactly what

1605
01:34:43.200 --> 01:34:48.000
we talked about. Did you have a good attachment with your parents when you were younger?

1606
01:34:49.120 --> 01:34:55.760
Not with my dad and still no. Okay. Tell me, tell me briefly what that was like.

1607
01:34:56.560 --> 01:34:59.760
Very belittling, very like,

1608
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:07.520
not having a voice, kids at the dinner table or silence, not giving an opinion,

1609
01:35:07.520 --> 01:35:14.080
you're, I'm the parent, I'm what's right, you have no voice whatsoever, a lot of

1610
01:35:14.080 --> 01:35:21.080
yelling, yeah, just very belittling, you're always wrong, I'm always in the

1611
01:35:21.080 --> 01:35:27.280
right, things like that. Was your dad in your home your whole life? Yes. Okay, so

1612
01:35:27.280 --> 01:35:32.120
not, I know, I think I'm kind of, I think we talked about your dad a little bit

1613
01:35:32.120 --> 01:35:37.400
the last time as well and so as you're continuing to do the forgiveness prayer

1614
01:35:37.400 --> 01:35:42.960
sheets, that will help some of this but the reality is, is that over time as you

1615
01:35:42.960 --> 01:35:48.880
heal, God is going to give you opportunities to resist the avoidant

1616
01:35:48.880 --> 01:35:55.520
tendencies that you've learned and try to lean into secure attachment. I'm not

1617
01:35:55.520 --> 01:35:59.240
saying that it will be an easy process but I do believe it it's possible. I used

1618
01:35:59.240 --> 01:36:02.400
to feel anxious attachment a lot, not that it's the same as avoidant

1619
01:36:02.400 --> 01:36:06.920
attachment but I definitely showed up way different with Brian and there were

1620
01:36:06.920 --> 01:36:11.400
times I felt that anxiousness try to rise up in me, you know, the panic of

1621
01:36:11.400 --> 01:36:15.000
like, oh my gosh, I haven't heard from him, is he thinking bad, does he like me,

1622
01:36:15.000 --> 01:36:21.000
does he not, all these like crazy things and I remember just talking to my spirit

1623
01:36:21.000 --> 01:36:26.840
like, Bethany, calm down, everything is okay. I'm not saying it's always gonna be

1624
01:36:26.840 --> 01:36:33.760
that easy either to get my, our flesh to submit but there are times where that

1625
01:36:33.760 --> 01:36:39.560
avoidant tendency, it reminds me of when I was younger and I was afraid, I was so

1626
01:36:39.560 --> 01:36:42.680
afraid of the dark that when that fear, I think I shared this a week or two ago,

1627
01:36:42.680 --> 01:36:48.960
when that fear would come on me, I would feel this need to run up the stairs but

1628
01:36:48.960 --> 01:36:54.520
I had to start resisting that stuff because that wasn't healthy and so when

1629
01:36:54.520 --> 01:37:00.320
we have these avoidant things where, you know, we avoid conflict, it tends to go

1630
01:37:00.320 --> 01:37:05.520
back to when we were little, it sounds like, you know, it was a lot of conflict

1631
01:37:05.520 --> 01:37:10.960
growing up with dad and so wondering what it was like, you know, in the other

1632
01:37:10.960 --> 01:37:16.400
dynamics but like, if we didn't learn how to have healthy conflict, that's why we

1633
01:37:16.400 --> 01:37:21.080
would want to avoid conflict so really pray into like, even the Lord showing you

1634
01:37:21.080 --> 01:37:26.280
what is healthy look like, just in general, what is healthy human being look

1635
01:37:26.280 --> 01:37:32.960
like and sound like, you know, Lord show me ways that I can trust that you will

1636
01:37:32.960 --> 01:37:39.920
help people to understand me, you know, where we start leaning out of I'm always

1637
01:37:39.920 --> 01:37:46.320
misunderstood, nobody gets me, I'm alone, it makes me think of that, that old poem

1638
01:37:46.320 --> 01:37:51.000
I don't even know who, Edgar Allan Poe, is he the one, everybody eat worms,

1639
01:37:51.000 --> 01:37:56.160
something eat worms, everybody hates, nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess

1640
01:37:56.160 --> 01:37:59.560
I'll go eat worms, sorry y'all I'm messing it all up but that's what comes

1641
01:37:59.560 --> 01:38:06.320
to mind, you know, but literally that, that's what, you know, some of us tend to

1642
01:38:06.320 --> 01:38:14.760
believe that cause us to avoid and so leaning away from that, those are lies, so

1643
01:38:14.920 --> 01:38:23.440
what about Steffi, like what makes you like amazing, you know, God I believe that

1644
01:38:23.440 --> 01:38:28.640
I was created to be in community, to connect, so Lord help me to know what I

1645
01:38:28.640 --> 01:38:33.920
bring, the value I bring to people and to really not just know it in my head but

1646
01:38:33.920 --> 01:38:39.480
to believe it in my heart and the way we believe in our heart y'all, honestly, I

1647
01:38:39.480 --> 01:38:43.200
think it is reading the word, it's getting so much of the truth in that we

1648
01:38:43.200 --> 01:38:48.440
believe it, we meditate on it, you know, that we would have the word on

1649
01:38:48.440 --> 01:38:52.000
the tablet of our hearts that it would be literally written in there but it's

1650
01:38:52.000 --> 01:38:59.200
also having a revelation, God showing you his vision of you, his perspective of

1651
01:38:59.200 --> 01:39:05.680
you, what does he have to say about you and partnering with that over and over

1652
01:39:05.680 --> 01:39:11.400
and over again, disciplining ourselves in our minds and our bodies, you know, to

1653
01:39:11.400 --> 01:39:17.400
resist the lie and to partner with the truth, you can be secure, you can learn

1654
01:39:17.400 --> 01:39:23.960
how to have a healthy dynamic with a man and people and A, we love that you're a

1655
01:39:23.960 --> 01:39:28.000
part of this community, I'm so glad that you shared again tonight, these are huge

1656
01:39:28.000 --> 01:39:32.440
steps and so I want you to be sure to celebrate yourself because instead of

1657
01:39:32.480 --> 01:39:37.960
being in isolation and being misunderstood tonight, I hope you feel

1658
01:39:37.960 --> 01:39:42.520
understood. And I hope that you feel connection, even if we're, you know,

1659
01:39:42.520 --> 01:39:46.240
we're not in the room with you. But on the digital world, we're giving you a big

1660
01:39:46.240 --> 01:39:51.120
hug tonight, and we're supporting you. And so where we start to receive that

1661
01:39:51.120 --> 01:39:55.880
truth, does everyone understand? And sometimes it's going to be a little

1662
01:39:55.880 --> 01:39:59.760
harder than others. But the more you work those muscles, Steffi, I think the more

1663
01:39:59.760 --> 01:39:59.920
you're

1664
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:07.000
to really learn that you can you can shift out of that stuff. And

1665
01:40:07.000 --> 01:40:09.880
that you don't have to live that life forever. Yeah, you're

1666
01:40:09.880 --> 01:40:12.960
welcome. And some of the ladies are cheering you on in the chat

1667
01:40:12.960 --> 01:40:17.460
to ladies, this is this is what communities about. This is why

1668
01:40:17.460 --> 01:40:20.000
it's important for y'all to share whether it's on the lives

1669
01:40:20.240 --> 01:40:24.320
or in the group. We're here for you. And we want you to learn

1670
01:40:24.320 --> 01:40:28.160
how to connect in healthy ways and do it a little bit more

1671
01:40:28.160 --> 01:40:32.480
every day. Okay, so let me pray us out. We're at 940. Thank you

1672
01:40:32.480 --> 01:40:35.000
for staying for a few more minutes tonight. Father, thank

1673
01:40:35.000 --> 01:40:38.760
you so much for everything that you've done tonight. Thank you

1674
01:40:38.760 --> 01:40:42.280
for the things that you're going to continue to do. Father, we

1675
01:40:42.280 --> 01:40:45.720
thank you for victories for breakthrough for aha moments,

1676
01:40:45.720 --> 01:40:48.800
God that you would just continue to bring revelation and insight

1677
01:40:48.800 --> 01:40:53.160
supernatural healing and, and restoration. God, we thank you

1678
01:40:53.160 --> 01:40:55.800
that you're the great physician that nothing is too hard for

1679
01:40:55.800 --> 01:40:59.160
you. We ask you to do supernatural surgery on these

1680
01:40:59.160 --> 01:41:02.080
ladies hearts, minds, bodies, spirits and souls, even while

1681
01:41:02.080 --> 01:41:05.120
they sleep that you come in and minister to them, that you would

1682
01:41:05.160 --> 01:41:08.880
dispatch your angels on their behalf, or to come in and

1683
01:41:08.880 --> 01:41:13.960
minister and soothe brokenness, broken areas, lies, unbelief,

1684
01:41:13.960 --> 01:41:18.560
doubt that you would calm anxieties and fear, where we

1685
01:41:18.560 --> 01:41:22.520
have, at times avoided people because we haven't believed we

1686
01:41:22.520 --> 01:41:27.240
can connect God, I thank you for just even like Lincoln logs

1687
01:41:27.240 --> 01:41:30.880
and connecting that you're the great dot connector. So you can

1688
01:41:30.880 --> 01:41:34.240
help us connect to and we just believe that in Jesus name.

1689
01:41:34.600 --> 01:41:37.520
Amen. I don't know if Lincoln logs are the ones that connect

1690
01:41:37.520 --> 01:41:40.960
they lay on top of each other, but I just kept seeing like, you

1691
01:41:40.960 --> 01:41:44.320
know, logs or whatever kind of connecting to each other. And

1692
01:41:44.800 --> 01:41:48.440
God is the great dot connector. He can connect dots and that

1693
01:41:48.440 --> 01:41:51.280
means he can cause us to connect. I hope you all have an

1694
01:41:51.280 --> 01:41:54.000
amazing night. We love you. We're so glad that you're here

1695
01:41:54.000 --> 01:41:56.880
and we'll be seeing you in the group soon. Okay. Bye.

1696
01:41:57.160 --> 01:41:58.320
Good night, everyone.

1697
01:41:58.360 --> 01:41:58.760
Good night.