All right, we are up.
Okay, so I'm just going to repeat a couple of things that I said just now, really important
stuff.
You guys, you cannot be waiting for one person to fulfill all of your needs.
That's not going to happen.
Okay?
And it's actually going to put a lot of pressure on the relationship if you're looking to each
other to fulfill needs that are not meant to be fulfilled by each other.
The main thing, the main, the one thing for sure, I mean, I really believe in best friends
getting married.
Okay?
But they're not going to be your only best friend.
Okay?
They're going to be your best friend in a way that other people cannot be because there's
an intimacy.
There's a physical intimacy within that relationship.
And that is the one area where you're going to have to really work together to have your
needs met by each other in physical intimacy, because that really is going to be your outlet
for that, each other.
Okay?
Everything else, there's going to be other players in the story, other characters in
the story.
Okay?
Female friends, ladies, male friends, guys, men, you need other men.
Please hear me.
You need other men.
You are not a silo.
If you do not have good male mentorship and friendship in your life, then God wants to
give you that.
You will not have a healthy marriage if you do not have men that are helping to mentor
you and model what it looks like to be further down this road than you are.
As far as marriage and family is concerned, as far as finances are concerned, or business
is concerned, none of us have ever arrived to a place where there should not be someone
in the room that you put yourself in that is further ahead than you.
If you are in rooms where you're the furthest ahead, then you're in the wrong room.
You're in the wrong room in life.
If you are only in rooms where you are the top dog, or you're the person that knows the
most in any area, all the areas, that is not the right room for you to be in, okay?
We have to be deposited into, and then we have to deposit into others.
It's very, very, very important.
All right, so I just wanted to start out tonight by saying that because so many of you are
waiting for your life to start when you meet this other person, and you have so many things
on hold, you're not nurturing important relationships that you're going to need for the marriage.
We have something that we do in Symbus.
It is one of the modules that we do, and it's all about community.
I believe that strong marriages are surrounded by strong communities and families, and it
talks about who's around you, who do you have in your life, who is in favor of this relationship.
It talks about that stuff.
I've often thought we should just come in here and teach Symbus to all of you, even
if you're not in a serious marriage-minded relationship yet, because it's really important.
If you don't have anybody in your life, then you need to begin to declare proverbs, I'll
think of it in a second, over yourself that says God takes the solitary person and he
places them in family.
He places them in community.
That's a promise from the Lord.
Now, you can't be a big fat jerk.
Sometimes people are not in community because they don't know how to get along with anybody
else.
If you don't know how to get along with anybody else, then that's a whole different issue.
If everywhere you go, you leave offended, and you leave saying, oh, those people are
not nice people, or those people are rude, or those people, they shut me out, or they're
clicky.
If that's always your story, then guess what?
You're the problem.
If there's a pattern, and you need to take a look at it, because that means that something
about you and what you're doing is off.
It's painful to look in the mirror and realize that you're the problem.
It's painful.
It's painful when you can't blame anybody else.
You can blame other people for the rest of your life, but that's just going to keep you
stuck and you're never going to go forward.
Yes, sometimes there are things that other people, they're the problem.
But if we keep picking people that are the problem, then guess what?
We're still the problem.
It's important that we understand and we own our side of the street and clean it up.
That's really, really important.
It's going to show in these relationships that you're beginning to choose.
These dating, these dates that you're starting to go on, if you have hard stuff, it's going
to come up pretty quickly in the form of being very judgmental and critical of other
people, very picky, very unrealistic expectations of what it should look like to date, especially
for some of you at your age.
You're like, Jackie, does the game change when we get older?
Yeah, it changes a thousand percent.
A thousand percent it changes, okay?
In a lot of ways.
We can get into that tonight.
dating in the generations.
We can talk about dating in different generations.
We got some Gen Z, we have some millennials,
we have some Gen X, we have some Xennials,
and we have some boomers.
Do we have anyone from the greatest generation?
I wouldn't think we did,
but do we have anyone who's in their 80s here?
We used to.
You guys, our oldest success story is 81,
just so you know.
Just so you know.
So I thought it was important to just kick off tonight
with just some sobering ideas, okay?
Because so many of us, we're really getting to a place
where we're gonna be hard to please.
We really are.
Especially after we get over the whole novelty
of the whole thing, right?
And the adventure of the whole thing.
When it starts settling in that this person
actually really likes you,
that's when you're gonna be like, eh.
So we can jump into a little bit of that.
You guys, Gen Z has been absolutely ruined by online life.
And they have to get to a point where they're gonna decide
that they don't wanna live their entire life virtually.
Okay, it's a real problem.
It's a real problem, okay?
So do you guys know, you guys,
I wanna blow your mind a little bit.
I want to blow your mind a little bit.
Do you know that a poll of 25-year-old men
showed that less than 5% of them
had ever asked out a woman in person?
95% of them, if they had ever asked out a woman,
because huge, huge numbers of them
had never even asked anyone out.
But if they had asked out a woman,
95% of them had done it virtually.
Text, online, on a dating app, on social media.
Gentlemen, those of you that are here,
ladies, you as well,
gentlemen, if you have ever face-to-face
asked a woman on a date, raise your hand.
Ladies, if you've ever been asked on a date face-to-face,
the guy standing in front of you asking you
if you will go out with him to wherever,
I want everyone to put their hands up.
Face-to-face, you've been asked on a date.
Don't forget, you guys, I'm on my phone,
so I can only see a little bit of you at a time.
Someday we're gonna get that studio fixed.
All right, not at all, not at all to draw attention to him,
but I just want to confirm.
Okay, now I see the hands up.
I don't need to confirm, it's been confirmed.
Okay, all right, so most of you have your hands up.
There's a handful of you.
Okay, so put your hands down.
Everyone put your virtual hand down.
All right, we're gonna go ahead and move on to the next one.
A handful of you, okay, so put your hands down.
Everyone put your virtual hand down.
Most of you have been asked on a date in person.
A long, long time ago, is what somebody said.
All right, come on, put the hands down.
You guys remember going to the mall?
Do you remember going to the mall
and someone would just come up to you at the mall
and be like, hey, you're cute, you want to go to the movies?
Does anyone remember those days?
Oh my gosh, right?
Things were so much easier then.
Guys, this virtual stuff,
we have to bring back community-based matchmaking,
which is what we're trying to do here.
I want you to raise your hand
if you have ever just sat
and scrolled through potential movies to watch
on Netflix, on Prime, on Hulu,
and watched the trailers for them,
just looked at the movies,
but you never actually picked one
and it got too late
because you had been scrolling for so long
and then you went to bed.
Raise your hand if you ever did that.
And if you haven't, then maybe you don't have Netflix.
Raise your hand if you have ever scrolled
and sampled, but not actually chosen a movie.
All right, put your hands down.
Guys, that's what dating apps are like.
That's what dating apps are like.
People are just forever scrolling,
they're not making a decision,
they're not choosing anything.
It's like, oh, and you know why you never choose a movie?
It's not because some of the movies that you sampled
or looked at the trailer of didn't look good.
You're always thinking,
oh, I bet you there's something better.
That looks good, but I bet you there's something better.
I don't know if I'm in the mood for that or not.
Maybe, but let me see what else is out there.
That's why.
That's why, you guys.
It is the illusion or delusion of an endless options.
Endless options, okay?
Just so you know, I know that there are a lot of movies
that are not that great,
but that is not how I'm likening the dating apps
of just garbage people,
just scrolling through garbage people.
That is not, that is not.
That is not what I'm saying at all.
Okay, so we have to understand that technology,
even though it was meant to connect us,
it's really disconnecting us in a lot of ways.
Right here, right now, it's connecting us,
but in a lot of ways, it's disconnecting us.
And so we have to overcome this.
We have to overcome this by, you know, getting in person.
You guys, spring is sprung here in Texas.
It's in the 70s.
It's gonna stay here.
March is on its way.
The spring solstice is coming.
It's gonna happen on, what, the 20th of March.
Gotta get outside.
No, not a ring by spring.
You guys, you gotta stop cutting up and pay attention.
I have a feeling some of you
were in detention a lot in school.
Okay, so it's important that we understand
and we stay focused on getting in person.
That's all of your assignment.
All of your assignment going forward into March
is to get in person as much as possible.
I don't care if you've done it before.
Do it again and again and again and again.
And remind yourself that you were created for this,
that you were created for a relationship.
And you guys, I don't mean get in person
just to find someone of the opposite sex
to have a romance with.
Get in person to find some friends.
Get in person to find some community.
Get in person to bless other people
with the gift that is you.
You're a gift.
And you've been keeping you all to yourself.
It's time to get out.
Some of you talk to yourself way too much.
I know we all talk to ourselves,
but some of y'all having long,
drawn-out conversations with yourself
because you spend too much time alone.
And it's time.
And you know what else happens
when you spend too much time alone?
When you actually do get with other people,
one of two things happens.
You don't talk at all or you talk way too much.
And so let's give ourself to other people in small doses,
all right, if we've been isolated for too long.
All right, loveseat time.
I know Nora was on my list because I remember seeing that.
So Nora, you're up.
Hello.
Hold on a second.
I'm gonna see if I can spotlight you.
Oh, wow.
My face is very big now.
Well, it's the same size.
The screen's just bigger.
Well, now I'm talking to myself.
All right.
I'm talking to myself.
This is weird.
Okay.
Let's hear you.
Let's hear it.
What do you got?
So hopefully this is more of like a logistical,
simple, like not complex question.
But so as I mentioned before,
I joined a powerlifting gym
and that has entailed an overhaul in the way I eat.
And it's pretty regimented.
Like they have me on a program
where I'm eating like six meals a day, set times,
and like very specific macros.
And I'm realizing like at the same time
that I'm diving into this,
I'm also, you know, foraying into dating
and I'm realizing just how much food
is involved with dating, you know,
going out to eat, all that stuff.
And so I wanted to get your take on this.
Like, I mean, I really do want to like
give this whole powerlifting thing a shot,
but like I went on a date with a guy on Sunday
and he was super sweet about it.
He was like really understanding.
He's like, oh, I don't want,
like I understand your whole like powerlifting thing.
That's really cool.
But then in the moment, like he was like,
oh, hey, do you want to get dinner?
And I like, I said no,
cause I thought it sounded fun,
but I was like, I don't want it to be too long of a date.
And also like, I want to eat my macros,
but we're going out again.
I feel like it's just going to keep coming up.
So I'm curious, like, I don't,
I want to stick to like go after my goals,
but I also want to be flexible and not be like a bird.
I think I have this fear of like being a burden
and being a people pleaser in general.
So I want to get your take on that whole situation,
how to maybe talk about it and handle it.
Okay. So first of all,
everybody who's on any kind of health kick
and you know that restaurant food is full of seed oils
and all kinds of crazy stuff.
So, you know, if you have any say in the restaurant,
I don't think that, I mean,
a lot of dates do revolve around food.
They don't have to.
And so if you can get an action date,
an action date of some sort, that's great.
But it is nice, you guys,
food is a big part of our lives
and it is nice to share a meal with someone.
So what you can do is you can, in advance,
I mean, almost every single restaurant has a meat,
a starch and a vegetable.
Okay. And so that's what you order.
And if you have to order it a la carte and put it there,
you know, if someone thinks you're high maintenance,
all you have to say is, hey, you know.
Oh, I am, I'm, I'm, I'm doing this powerlifting thing.
I mean, that's super cool.
You just tell them.
And so, you know, my diet's a little boring right now.
I'm just, you know, trying to stay on my macros, but I really want to succeed at
this and then you guys, if you go to a restaurant, you can always ask them to
fry your steak in butter instead of seed oils.
I mean, you can, you can be that person.
I know a lot of us don't want to be that person, but you can be that person.
And so if I were you, I would just make sure that you're not going Chinese.
You're not going someplace where, you know, um, you can't
find the things that you need.
Yeah, that's good.
I mean, I'm kind of wrestling with it.
Cause this guy is from Iran.
And so like, I, there's an Iranian food place.
And one of my favorite things is like experiencing cuisine.
Like there's, it's, it's sort of like painful for me.
Like, Oh, I want to experience, you're not going to live like this forever.
Well, this gym is like, yes you are.
And so I I'm wrestling with that too.
I don't know what's going to work for me, but I think it's like, I mean,
every once in a while, you know, I mean, you're going to experience, like you
said, you like to experience different cuisines.
Yeah.
So, okay.
But I think it's more having that conversation with him.
Like, it's hard for me to even say, like, I have a hard time even just
saying something that I think might be an inconvenience to someone,
whether it's like food or anything.
Like, and the thing is, is that that's why this is good for you.
Yeah.
This is where you overcome that you're an inconvenience and that you have to be,
you have to be what I call a gray rock.
You know just a lot of times when people have been in abusive and even narcissistic
tendency, guys, not narcissists, but narcissistic tendency relationships
where somebody makes it all about them and they gaslight you and all that.
A lot of people that have been raised in those environments who have
been around those environments.
They will take on this gray rock syndrome where they just want to
not draw attention to themselves.
They're just a gray rock.
Yeah.
They don't want to be a bother or a burden.
They don't want to make a fuss.
They don't want to, you know, it basically is like, if I don't draw
attention to myself, then no one is going to hurt me or gaslight me or
like, like, I'm just going to be invisible.
Yeah.
I know.
Well, you haven't been doing it lately.
You've been coming on here being the life of the party.
You're power lifting, you know, skinny little white girl.
And I'm like, go girl, go girl.
And, um, I think you're coming out of your shell.
Okay.
It's harder for, it's easier for me with like friends versus like a dating
situation, but I am, you guys are helping me come out of it.
So I'm going to apply that knowledge.
This is, this is your challenge.
All right.
You get to be a rainbow rock.
Okay.
You get to be, you get to be fun and you know, a little eccentric with your
eating and it's like, okay, it's all right.
Okay.
Sounds good.
I'll be a eccentric rainbow rock.
Yes.
If you were a Baskin Robbins, you would not be the vanilla flavor.
You would be some other flavor.
Choose which one.
Is it going to be, you know, what is it going to be?
That's what, that's what you are.
He literally got ice cream and was eating it in front of me.
And I was like, I'm not, I'm not doing that.
I mean, it's listen, I'm not saying that part of it's not going to
be hard because food is amazing.
I know.
Yeah.
You know, this is good.
Okay.
It is good.
And this is such a great challenge for you.
So make sure you come back and report to us how you do on this.
Cause we want to know.
All right.
We want to know.
Inquiring minds want to know.
Okay.
Um, remove spotlight and remove spotlight.
Okay.
All right.
Let me just take a look at my sheet.
I think that I can scroll up and look here.
Okay.
You guys, I have Juliana Elizabeth.
Come on down.
That's me.
Hi.
Let me see.
Hold on a second.
Julie.
Okay.
Spotlight.
And all right, Juliana, you're up house.
What's up?
I have the opposite problem of Nora, um, where I've always been
comfortable being fully myself.
And, um, but I'm running into two different things.
I find that when I hide who I am and I, I soften who I am and I'm not fully who I
am, that's when I get asked out.
That's when I get asked to be a girlfriend, but when I'm fully myself,
even with all your dating advice, I've been here almost two years.
Um, that's when I have two situations I run into continuously.
The first one is within the first four or five dates, a couple of weeks ago, I
had this on the actual, I think it was the third or fourth date.
I was just shocked where I live in South Carolina.
So it's, it's already assumed culturally that the man is the one who pays.
The man is the one who, you know, that's just cultural here.
I find that when I am fully myself and I, I like to, you know, discuss politics
and I mean, obviously I don't go crazy, but, um, I'm a lawyer.
So like, I mean, I just being myself.
my strong crazy self and love books and love all my interests and just try to be myself
with the guy.
Inevitably, I'll get the, the, the, well, I forgot my wallet and I'm like, it's happened
to me three times where they didn't forget their wallet and then they make way more money
than me.
It's not a money thing.
They just, I do something, I don't know, um, where it's, they're expecting me to pay for
the whole date.
And I'm like, that's not.
And then the second pattern I run into is, um, I'll have these great guys that I'm actually
attracted to.
And I'm like, Oh my gosh, that's the type of guy I've always wanted.
And it's happened to me probably 15 times in my life where I will, um, start to get
attracted to them.
They'll ask, they'll like really start pursuing me and acting like they're really interested.
Um, and then I'll start letting my guard down and being myself and they'll just like disappear.
So I'm finding myself.
I'm like, I can't, I feel like I can't be myself.
Okay.
When you say letting your guard down and being yourself, what does that look like?
Um, well, I, I mean, I don't like, it happened a couple of weeks ago with this guy.
He's also in politics.
And when I was being really demure and like asking him questions about himself and stuff,
he was really, um, interested.
And like one day he came over and sat at my table at an event cause we saw each other
a couple of events and, um, making eyes at each other, you know, across the room and
I was smiling cause I'm working on that.
And, but then when he came and sat down at my table, um, we started talking and, um,
then like we ended up, I friended him afterwards cause I friend everybody, I meet in circles
and then we start talking on Facebook a little bit.
I don't, maybe I'm just leading too strong with, I honestly can't figure it out.
Okay.
Let me ask you a question.
You said the guys that forgot their wallet, you said all of them made more money than
you.
Why?
How do you know that?
What do they do for a living?
What did those guys do for a living?
The three that forgot their wallet.
One's in financial planning, one's, um, a product manager and one's an airline pilot.
So all well.
Where did, where did you meet them at?
Um, when I met at church in person and then two others I met, well, one, I met an event
and then the other one I met in a dating app.
Okay.
And the other guy was in politics or lawyer.
The other guy.
What?
Okay.
No offense to anybody, but I'm going to say this, what do you think about blue collar
guys?
Totally.
It doesn't sound like you're around a circles of them, but I think that you should date.
I think you should date some good hardworking dudes.
That's what I think you should date because the guys that you're dating right now, they
all have one thing in common and that is that they're all white collar guys.
They're all, you know, obviously think that they're God's gift to something.
And you know, I mean, seriously, I forgot my wallet.
I mean, how embarrassing, I mean, dude, you should not be able to show your face in this
world again.
And so, yeah, I think that, I think you should think about, you know, dating a farmer or
a rancher, a farmer, ladies, it is a real thing.
Okay.
There's even a dating site for that, you know, a teacher, not that those are not, you know,
but you not understand what I'm saying.
People that are more down to earth, kind of more salt of the earth people, people that
are not about money.
They're not about prestige.
They're not about, you know, their ego.
I think, what about that?
Let's try that out.
I really don't think it's you.
I was just kind of discerning whether it's you or not, kind of give, you know, give you
some feedback about divine feminine, but I really honestly don't think it's you.
I think it's the type of guy that you're going out with.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
I mean, three times I forgot my wallet.
It's the type of guy.
So what I want you to do is I want you to pick a guy that's completely different than
any guy that you would ever normally go out with and go out with him.
That sounds good.
And try it.
Okay.
All right.
You're as cute as you can be.
There's nothing wrong with you.
Appreciate it.
And you know what?
You're not going to have to dumb yourself down to be with someone.
Just be all of what you are because I don't sense any unhealthiness of what you are.
You know, and I would tell you if I thought you were a ball buster, if I thought you were,
you know, someone who is chasing men off with her toxic femininity, I would tell you, but
I don't think that's what it is.
I appreciate it.
All right.
Get hard working.
All American men, they smell like sweat.
They look good when they take their shirt off.
Come on.
Let's go.
Let's go, ladies.
Come on.
Clayton, you can just shake your head all you want to.
All right.
They have beards sometimes.
All right.
Okay, that was fun.
All right, I'm serious, I'm serious about that though.
I think that she needs to try out a different type of guy
that she's been going out with and let's see what happens.
All right, let's see.
Kira Golden, you're up.
Hi, over here, hello.
And you guys, I just want you to remember
that your sister that was just on,
she has been here for two years, Juliana,
and she's as cute as a button.
And if you know anyone, you heard where she lives,
if you know anyone that you want to set her up with
that's gonna be a strong, you know,
God-loving, masculine, chivalrous man, set her up.
Okay, all right, Kira, you're up.
The timing of this is perfect
because my question dovetails right off of hers, right?
So I started dating blue-collar guy,
first time I've done that,
and he's mature, masculine, marriage-minded,
like really great.
We've been dating about three months,
and he doesn't live here, it's long distance.
And we got around to kind of a more specific
financial conversation,
and I knew that I was in a different financial situation
than he was, but when we were discussing it,
I got really kind of taken aback
because his annual income is equal to like one mortgage
I have on one property.
So it was like this massive discrepancy in my mind.
And it wasn't so much about the money,
but that got me starting to think more about
like lifestyle compatibility, ambition,
like what are his goals?
And I asked questions like, okay, if that's your income,
what does that lifestyle look like?
What is that?
I'm really trying to stay curious and understand
and not like jump to any conclusions,
but I'm struggling,
and I don't wanna just like kick him out.
He's so great.
We've had great communication.
Like a lot of things are really aligned well.
Let me ask you a question.
Is a man making more than you
or being on the same level as you financially?
Is that a heaven non-negotiable for you?
Heaven's non-negotiable?
That's a good question.
And I think that's the question I'm wrestling with
because I have been a single mom of two kids.
I was very much in disobedience with the Lord
and very like feminist,
had a lot to prove when I was younger.
And I had my two kids with donors
and I've been like hyper independent for a long time.
And so I feel like the Lord has really worked on a lot
to bring me to a place where I can focus on the family.
Like, so he's worked and changed my heart
to have me be in a position of desiring,
which I'd never even contemplated before.
Do you have passive income?
So you're talking about one of your rental properties,
do you have passive income?
I could not afford to completely stop working
and cover all of our bills.
It would not even be a conversation if I could handle that
because it's not about the money.
It's about that,
like I wouldn't be able to really be in that
like feminine support role
that I feel like the Lord's been like grooming me for.
And this was like really jarring.
Well, here's what I'm gonna tell you
and I'm gonna tell everyone who's listening
is that you're not going to get everything
on your checklist, okay?
So the things that you wanna find in a partner
are people that have a teachable heart towards the Lord,
they're kind, they're motivated towards change and growth.
Just because someone's doing something now in their life
does not mean that they're gonna do it later.
I think COVID taught all of us
that people can lose their fortunes in one day.
And so the bottom line is,
is that you never know what tomorrow holds
regardless of whether someone's doing better than you
or worse than you right now.
The real question is,
is are they going to follow after God?
Are they going to continue to grow and desire growth
and put themselves in rooms where they can grow?
That is what we want in husbands and wives, okay?
Not a checklist of different assets or 401ks.
Now, if someone comes to us and they're in lots of debt,
they have to make a plan to do that.
We're not gonna take on their debt, y'all, okay?
If someone has been irresponsible financially
and they're not responsible now,
then that's a whole different conversation.
Yeah, it's not for me about like a checklist of economics.
It's that once that kind of came up,
I started trying to dive deeper into that growth component
of like, how do you wanna grow?
do you want to achieve? How do you want to serve? And I feel like I'm starting to see
a mentality of like, just settling and playing safe. And it's, it's that which I mentally sort
of equate as a loose connector with economics. But like, that's what opened up the conversation.
But underneath it is more of this, like, I'm, I just don't, I don't, I don't see him having.
I, I don't know if we're aligned and I don't think this is like an objective requirement.
Everyone has, but it's hard for me. How long have you guys, how long have you guys been dating?
Three, about three months. Okay. Like seriously dating for three months.
Oh, we're long distance. So it's hard to say serious, but we talk quite regularly and
like have very intentional conversation. Gotcha. Well, I mean, it sounds like you,
it sounds like you, you know, you've kind of made up your mind about whether or not,
you know, this is going to be something that you want to go forward to. But I will say this for
all of you ladies, this is a lesson that I had to learn from the Lord and all of you are going
to have to learn it. You know, I just assumed that the man was my financial provider and,
you know, I became a Christian in my twenties and doesn't there a scripture that kind of says that,
you know, that the man's supposed to provide. Right. And you think that that's what it means.
It actually isn't what it means. Okay. It's not talking about financial provision at all.
And so my husband has never made more money than I do. I mean, there was a time when I was just
staying at home with the kids and guess what y'all we couldn't even pay the rent on what David was
making by himself, doing things that he really wasn't gifted to do because he had so many years
of ministry. And if you guys know ministry, it doesn't pay anything. All right. And so I have
the more marketable gift set as far as right now in our lives. You know, I, we own a media company
together. I'm a network marketer. We're network marketers together. Obviously, you know I'm a
visionary and I've founded several different companies, Jane TV last year, single married 12
months or less. And so the bottom line is this, is that God had to teach me that David is not my
provider. God is my provider. And so all of you are going to have to understand that when God is
asking you to get into your feminine, and I'm just talking to the ladies, when God is asking
you to get into your feminine, he's not asking you to get into your feminine and be a trad wife
for a man who can provide for you if that happens. Okay. But he's asked you to get into your feminine
as a daughter and to let him provide for you. Okay. We, we're not supposed to be looking for a man
to, to fund our lifestyle or our life, or, you know, even to let us stay home and raise kids.
You know, God will open the doors for those things if that is your trajectory. You know,
I always kind of had something going on even when I was at home raising the kids because I'm an
entrepreneur. And so bottom line is, is that every marriage is going to look different. The man's not
always going to be the breadwinner. Okay. What is important is that, are you working together?
Are you using your skills and your gifts together? And when you come together with your skills and
gifts, does, does something happen? So separately, David and I would never have been able to
accomplish what we've accomplished now, but when we came together, our gifts and our skills together
with God's anointing and his favor on our lives look like being able to create legacy and wealth
and wealth and legacy wealth. Okay. And so I really want to encourage you guys to understand that
just because someone's in a certain place when you marry them, um, doesn't mean they're going
to be there. But I understand that you're talking more about ambition and what he's been able to
share with you long distance for three months. You know, if this guy's got any really golden
qualities, I would definitely give him a chance to show you what else he has. And, you know,
and also you should have this conversation with him, say, Hey, I'm an ambitious person.
Um, I need to be with someone who also, you know, wants to grow. Is that something that
you're interested in doing? Um, you know, that's something I'm going to do for the rest of my life.
What about you? And if he says no, that he's not interested in doing that, that he's fine
with where he is and doesn't want to change, then you have your answer. Yeah. Okay. Thank you.
That's good. Right. Okay. Yeah. All right. Do you guys hear what Kira said that she has two children
by donors? So she, you know, so she's a single mom, but not a single mom in the traditional
sense of the word, you know, like a broken relationship or a divorced woman, you know,
she took it upon herself to have children, you know, with a donor. And so that's happening more
and more nowadays. And the reason why I'm bringing that up is because she's being vulnerable with us
and telling us that she has been, um, over the course of her life, you know, just really
independent. And so that's going to be something that's going to, she's going to have to overcome
that, you know, she's, she's decided to do her dreams with her life, including having children
without waiting for a man to come into the picture and help, you know, and,
and make that happen for her. Right. And then, you know, so there's pros and cons.
to that.
I just want to say that.
And so, but the con for her is now it's because she has done so much and accomplished so much
on her own with God, even having children.
Now it's a situation where she's going to be like, who's good enough for me?
And so it's going to be, it's going to be a real thing, Kira.
So I really want you to come and surrender the Lord and, you know, really help him to
let you see that there are going to be some qualities, maybe not this guy, I don't know,
but some qualities that are so much more important than the qualities that you carry in a complimentary
opposite.
You don't need another you.
You already are you.
You don't need another you.
Okay.
Yeah.
So yeah, that's important.
And I appreciate you highlighting that because that has been like a two year journey of humbling
my heart and helping me repent.
Obviously not repent my children.
I'm glad I have my children.
Repent of the stubbornness and the, like all the decisions made from like trauma that kind
of got me to this point and, um, but you know, and then like, that's the big struggle mentally
is like, okay, I don't want to stay in all the skills that I've been surviving using.
I want to move into what the Lord's like calling me to.
And so I don't want a duplicate of myself, but in a sense I kind of do because I want
to like set the mantle down on some things I've been carrying that I don't think are
what I should be doing.
Let me, let me tell you something.
You can do that no matter what.
Yeah.
I think that you should do that no matter what.
I think that you should just let it go no matter what.
Okay.
So it's one of those things where we feel like, oh, I got to get someone else to do
this so that I can let go of it.
Nah, you can just let go of it.
I mean, I still have rent.
Well, I don't mean, I don't obviously mean that, but I'm just saying there are other
things that, you know, a lot of times we're trying to hold something together when God's
just like, just let it fall apart and see what happens next.
And so for those of you that have been waiting to, you know, get another person in your life
so that, you know, they can take over for you, you know, in that area, sometimes those
areas are areas where we need to fully surrender them to God and not, not worry about someone
taking it over.
Okay.
Just want to let you know.
Thank you so much for sharing.
That's very insightful.
Do you guys see how different we all are?
We're all coming from different backgrounds and different things.
And you know, we've made different decisions over the course of our life and it's just
so good when we come together and share and are vulnerable.
So many people get free from that.
And so thank you for sharing all of you that share.
Okay.
So let's see here.
So you guys, let's not give up on people too easily, especially if they're not what we
expect.
You know, sometimes we get in our head what we think our relationships have to look like,
or we think that we know what we need.
And sometimes we do.
And a lot of times we don't.
So I want to just let us all know that we need to make sure that we're continually surrendering
that to the Lord.
And it's a yes until it's a no.
And that's why we say that.
All right, Kim, you're up.
So it always makes me nervous and I've been here for a long time.
Yeah, you have.
I mean, so let me ask you, and if you don't mind sharing, so Kim said she's been here
for a long time, but she's been in relationships while she's been here and you were even almost
engaged or engaged?
Almost engaged.
And we were matchbreakers for that one, weren't we?
Yes.
Matchmakers and matchbreakers, y'all.
All right.
So she hasn't been single this whole time.
I just wanted to make sure that you guys understand that, but she has learned a lot.
All right.
So what's your question?
Yes.
So I've been talking to this guy for about three weeks now.
Okay.
He's like four years younger than me, and I usually don't date younger guys.
Wait, how old are you?
45.
Okay.
So he's still in his 40s.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
And we've been talking for three weeks.
We've already been on two dates.
I like him, but I feel like he's moving.
Maybe it's not too fast.
I don't know.
I'm just...
Well, give us an example.
Already talking about the future.
Okay.
Like what about the future?
We're going to go to Six Flags or...
What about the future?
Take his dog for a walk.
Okay.
And take his dog for a walk together.
That's not too futuristic.
What else?
We'll make jokes about...
I would love to live here.
Jew at this, we were walking nearby a really nice,
newer apartment building.
He goes, yeah, it'd be great for like,
you know, maybe it'll be us one day.
So.
I mean, it's possible that, you know,
you teed him up for that.
I mean, right.
You guys, there's one thing that I wanna make sure
that we understand as we're growing in friendships
with people and we're dating them, you know,
and growing in what hopefully will be like
one version of a best friendship.
People talk about their hopes and dreams, you know,
and you know, how many of you have had
a platonic relationship, same sex relationship,
where you're getting to know that person
and you're opening up more to them
and you're talking about how you always want it
to go here or there and you're like,
hey, we should go together.
You know, it's kind of a normal thing to say, isn't it?
Right?
Now there's a different thing of love bombing
and future faking where someone's trying
to promise you the world, you know,
and it doesn't sound like that's what he's doing
when he's like, let's walk Rover together.
Okay.
Well, he did get, he was a little suggestive
in his comments in the beginning.
That's what we wanna know.
Tell us more.
And he would, you know, say, you know,
I'm gonna go to the gym and get all hot and, you know,
sweaty, you know.
Wait, is he a believer?
He is.
Have you, have you guys had any physical contact?
Yep.
We went to the movies and I told him
I was not comfortable kissing.
So he put his-
Was this before or after the hot and bothered comment?
After.
I had told him that it, you know, I like you,
but some of your comments are suggestive.
You told him.
Okay.
And what'd he say?
Good for you.
And I said, I'm a lady and I wanna be treated like one.
Oh, and then what happened?
He was like, whoa, okay.
I'm so sorry.
And then he stopped.
Okay.
Stopped with the suggestive comments,
but I can tell he really, really likes me.
And so we kind of talked last night
and throughout this morning.
And I found out that because I'm leaving this weekend
and he has his work schedules coming up
where he has to work nights for a whole week.
And he's afraid, you know, that I'm gonna be snatched up
by the time we get together in two weeks.
I mean, first of all, you're not a snatched up person.
Okay.
So you need to let him know
since he doesn't know you that well,
that there's no way that you're gonna, you know,
make some sort of life decision in two weeks
on somebody else.
You know me, Jackie.
And second, it sounds like he's got a little bit
of anxious attachment.
Yeah.
And I can be that way too.
So, I mean, I know you've talked about that.
That's not ideal, anxious attachment
to anxious attachment to help people.
I mean, you just have to be aware.
You guys, when it comes to attachment style, listen up.
No matter what your attachment style is
that you test it out as, as long as you're self-aware,
it doesn't matter what it is.
As long as you're self-aware.
Everyone can choose to have secure attachment
or secure ideas or when anxious thoughts come
or avoidant thoughts come
to replace those thoughts with truth.
Okay, all of us can, you know?
So if it's like, oh, you know, if, if, you know,
if I don't see them for a week, you know,
they might meet someone else on vacation and fall in love.
And it's like, well, if they do that, then they're a wacko.
Yeah.
And so who cares, right?
I mean, you have to tell yourself the truth, you guys.
Just like, oh, I, I think that, you know, you, you text in,
you and you erase the message and you, and you text again
and you're like in the drafts, you know, and you erase it.
Cause you're trying to say the very right thing
that's going to make them fall in love with you.
And you guys, it's just not a real thing.
It's not a real thing.
And so, Kim, it doesn't matter as long
as people are willing to address it.
And can I tell you guys something about guys
that I just found out?
I need to tell you guys something about men.
Not all men, but anxious attachers, especially.
A lot of times, you know, especially believers,
ladies, you have to hear what I'm about to say
because this was like a truth bomb for me.
So I had a client and a really nice guy,
no man person, he's a really great guy.
Okay, just really great guy, loves the Lord,
you know, just great guy.
And I introduced him to a couple people
and in both scenarios, you know,
as he was getting to know them over the course
of a few weeks, you know, he said a couple things
that were kind of suggestive,
like what Kim's talking about.
Not bad, not like R rated, not like porno, okay.
No eggplant emojis, if you know what that means.
Okay, it wasn't anything like that, okay.
It was just a little bit of innuendo, a little innuendo.
And the girl, because I introduced them,
was like, hey, wait, what, what?
And so I carded him on it, I was like, what's going on?
And he's like, well, he said,
I wasn't trying to be offensive.
He's like, I was trying to create romantic chemistry
because a lot of times women, especially Christian women,
if you don't create romantic chemistry,
they will friend zone you.
And you guys, this is a thing.
This is a thing with like good little Bible reading,
good Christian boys, you know,
they're concerned that you're gonna friend zone them
if they're too boring or if they're not getting you
romantically involved with them, okay?
And so this is a thing.
And it's important that we understand that that happens.
And so I'm not saying that that's what this guy's doing,
but just because a guy tries to like
start a romantic conversation after talking for a while
doesn't mean that he's a bad person,
especially if he's a little churchgoer.
It might mean that he's trying to
get out of the friend zone.
Right.
And he's told me that.
Oh, well, there you go.
That's a confirmation.
He's told me, he's like,
I know there are a lot of guys that are talking to you.
I'm trying to get out of that spot.
See, he's trying to get you to like, you know,
start liking him more, growing in your affection for him.
Because, you know, you guys, this is what men think of us.
They think that we're reading these romance novels
and watching these romance movies and that's what we want.
They don't know.
There's no class.
There's no class that they took.
All right.
Especially the ones that have little to no experience
with women.
And so you guys had a man a break,
discern whether or not there really is some sort of like
sexual issue or if this guy is just trying to, you know,
make you like him as more than a friend.
It's fair.
Okay.
So Kim, what are we going to do about this guy?
You like him.
You do.
He's not my type.
You know, that's my favorite kind.
And I like him.
Yeah.
I can tell.
All right.
What's his name?
Brandon.
Okay.
He's a little younger, a couple of years younger.
Has he ever been married?
Yes.
Okay.
Any kids?
No.
Okay.
How long has he been divorced?
Same amount as me, 12 years.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
So is he coming out of like a long-term relationship
that didn't go or what?
Yeah, I guess they only dated for a few months.
So, you know, he did open up and tell me.
Yeah.
That he has been hurt.
So, and he's trying to protect himself.
Yeah.
Well, for sure.
Here's the thing, you guys,
when you are with an anxious attacher,
the best thing that you can do
is be very consistent, all right?
Use communication.
Don't send text messages that they have to decode.
Be very, you guys, with an anxious attacher, okay?
It's very important that you are very, like she said,
she told him, hey, I don't like that, right?
You gotta be, make sure that you're being very clear.
Be a clear communicator with an anxious attacher.
Let them know exactly where they stand.
Do not keep them guessing.
Do not play coy.
Do not play games.
Don't do that.
Because you know what?
You'll bring out an ugly side of them
that you do not wanna see of them trying to win you over.
And so do not do it.
Just be very upfront about where you are
and what you need in order to get to the next place.
All right, Kim, keep us posted, okay?
Thank you.
Brandon sounds great.
Keep us posted.
Okay.
You guys, remember, you are God-defended.
I just wanna take this commercial break
to tell you that you're God-defended, okay?
You are.
What you need to see, you will see.
When and if you need to see it.
Why do I say if?
Because some things you don't need to know.
People are not perfect.
And if you knew that part of them that's not perfect
before you really allowed yourself to grow in affection
and love towards them,
you might talk yourself out of it.
And God doesn't want you to talk yourself out of it
because you guys are a good match.
You might just get, you know,
you might cut and run if you knew that thing beforehand.
Like for me, for instance,
if I knew that my guy that I was gonna marry,
you know, eventually,
but when I was getting to know him,
if I knew how complicated blended family was
and how complicated his former spouse was
and their relationship with each other,
I might not have done it, okay?
Because the first two years were.
They were something.
They were something that I can no longer say because I am not cussing anymore.
That's why.
But I will tell you that we have more in us than we know, and God knows what you are capable
of.
He does.
I'm not telling you he's signing you up for abuse.
Please do not hear that.
That's ridiculous.
I am telling you that relationships are complicated, and if you're the kind of person that wants
it to be perfect, otherwise you're not going to sign up for it, then you might as well
to stay single because there's no such thing.
All right.
Next up.
I'm going to look here in my little list and see.
Just have about 15 more minutes, you guys, so I want to make sure that if you get in
the love seat, short, brief, and powerful.
Sophie Fallenwhiter, followed by Pamela Petty, and those will be our ... Well, I'll take
questions if we are able to get through these really quick.
Where's my girl at?
Hi, Jackie.
Hi.
Okay.
Hi.
Can you see me?
I can see you.
Oh, you're on iPhone.
Okay, so I need to ... I'm trying to spotlight you.
iPhone.
I think it's a red one.
Let me see.
Shoot.
It's yellow.
Okay.
Let me do it.
All right.
We're up.
Go for it.
Awesome.
Thank you.
I'm a little nervous, but-
No, no.
Don't be nervous.
I have ... I was widowed like 18 years ago, and my children were really young, and I was
like, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
So I was really young, and I have been dating, but I have finally realized that I'm a very
avoidant kind of person.
I've dated, I've been in and out of relationships, but I joined last year's single last year
because I want the right relationship.
And so I have been on like five dates with this guy.
He is a recovered alcoholic.
He goes to probably four meetings a week.
And if I tell you like his story, it might seem like, okay, forget it.
It's a wreck.
But connecting wise, like emotionally and just being able to talk, we can really, we
can talk like heart to heart.
Like he's done his work, and he continues to do his work, and I really like that a lot.
I guess my question is, I do what you talked about earlier.
Oh, there might be something better.
Maybe I'll go look, you know, for someone else.
But he's very faithful, like he goes to church every week.
But he's also like wanting me to, he talks about weekends together, spending weekends
together.
And I've told him that I am not interested in doing that.
Not right now.
I'm not ready.
But I didn't, I get nervous when it comes to like the marriage sex talk, because most
people I have found that are older are like, oh, come on, like at our age.
Oh, no, it's true.
They definitely are.
What denomination of Christianity does he go to?
Catholic.
Okay.
That's, I was going to ask if he was Catholic.
So you know, you guys, there are some, there are some denominations of Christianity, and
this doesn't mean all Catholics, but there are some that, you know, they don't necessarily,
you know, believe in the whole no sex before marriage.
If you're committed to each other, and you're monogamous, and they think that that's really
all that matters, what your intentions are towards each other.
And so you just have to come down to, you know, you're gonna have to, especially if
he's asking you for weekends, and you know what that means and implies, yeah, that, you
know, you're gonna have to let him know in case he wants to invest his time elsewhere.
You know, it's possible, let's just have a conversation about this as adults.
We're all, we're all adults here.
So let's have a conversation about this.
Now, God put sex into covenant for a reason.
And there are a lot of reasons you guys now, besides it just being sin, most of you guys
sin every week in some way or shape or form, okay, whether it's, you know, there's all
kinds of things, and I'm not gonna get into it, okay, because there's too much of a list.
Okay, but the bottom line is, is that it being a sin is not the biggest part of it.
It being that it causes a lot of confusion.
Okay, it does it cause a lot of confusion, it makes the water really muddy, you'll overlook
a lot of things that you shouldn't overlook, you might not even notice them in the first
place when there is like this sexual soul tie that's happening in a relationship, okay.
And oftentimes, it brings that a lot of jealousy.
It brings out a lot of things that wouldn't normally happen if those people had made a
commitment or a covenant with each other before, you know, going to the physical part.
Okay.
Now, when you have a connection with someone emotionally and spiritually, your body does
want to get on board.
Your body's like, me too, me too.
I want in on this.
And we're not going to rush to the altar just so we can have sex, you guys.
No, that's too big of a decision to make just so that you can, you know, have sex.
Especially when we're older, because let's face it, the sex is not going to be that great.
All right.
And so it isn't.
Get over it.
And so here's the thing.
The thing is, is that the intimacy, all that, and you know, you can give him that, you know,
if he wants affection, you know, just let him know, hey, I'm not going to, I'm not going
to have sex out of marriage because I don't believe it's right.
I believe that it's a sin.
And I'm going to save that part of my life for the person that I marry.
Now, let me ask you a question.
Is he, because he's gone through all this life and he's had all this stuff happen and,
you know, he's obviously older.
Does he see himself marrying again?
I don't know.
We haven't had that talk.
That's the bigger talk.
Does he see himself ever married again?
Because if he doesn't see himself ever married again, then, then what?
Yeah.
How do you know when to have that conversation?
Well, it, I mean, he's asking you to spend weekends with him, so it's fair to go ahead
and have that conversation.
Right?
Yeah.
He's wanting to escalate the relationship.
So you guys, that's how, you know, when you can bring up stuff is when someone's trying
to escalate the relationship to a place where it would be appropriate to talk about that.
Like, we don't want to talk about, oh, no sex before marriage with someone on the first
date.
But when that person is asking us after five dates to spend the weekend with them, that's,
that's your segue to talk about sex, you know, and where you are now, let me ask you
a question.
You, was your husband that you were married to, um, and sorry for your loss.
Thank you.
It sounds like, it sounds like, I mean, you lost him pretty, a long time ago.
Yeah.
And yeah.
Yeah.
He was never been any serious.
He was 41.
Uh huh.
They had a heart attack like suddenly.
Wow.
Yeah.
Thank you.
So have you, have you been in any serious relationships since him?
I have been in serious relationships, but it's ones where I would say, you know, I'm
waiting, you know, to be intimate and you know, it didn't always work out like that
in those relationships.
But I, I, I just broke up with like every single person I was with.
I never was with someone that I felt like, okay, this is for sure my person.
So I know that I'm, uh, that's, that's on my end, like staying in something too long.
Yeah.
And remember what I just said?
There's no such thing as your person.
Um, there's, you guys remember if you're looking at someone and just wondering if they can
meet all your needs, I'm going to tell you the answer is no.
All right.
That's not, the question is, can I partner with this person?
Do I enjoy this person?
Can we grow together?
You know, do we want the same things with the rest, with, with, with whatever's left
of our lives?
Are we going the same direction?
Do we want to do the same things?
These are, these are questions that we ask ourselves, not, you know, can this person
fulfill all my needs?
Because that answer is no.
So I think there's time for you to have the sex talk with him.
Um, and also the marriage talk.
You know, you're not asking him if he wants to marry you, but you are asking him if he
ever sees himself married again.
Okay.
I definitely have to do hard work around that because I get like, I don't know why I get
very nervous about having that talk, but I'll do it.
I'm going to have to, I'll tell you why you get nervous about it because first of all,
it's unnatural.
We shouldn't even have to have it because men should be respecting those boundaries.
And the second reason why you feel that way is because people have not respected that
boundary in the past and, or broke up with you because of that boundary in the past.
And so you don't want to be rejected and you also don't want someone to nod and say, okay,
and then continue to press you.
That's what would happen all the time.
Yeah.
They're like, Oh, I respect that, but let's make out, you know, and you know, and, and
go downtown and let's do this and that, you know, it's just like, okay, we're not going
to have intercourse, but we're going to do everything else.
It's like, no, that's the whole point.
The point is, is that I'm not trying to get confused about whether or not you and I are,
you know, people that should be together.
Yeah.
That's really the main reason.
I think being, you know, a part of last year's single and just participating in all these
things is getting my mind more used to the reality.
that it's, there's a lot of people out there that think the same way I do that.
Oh, there is, there really is.
And there are also people that they don't, I don't know that they have like a strong
conviction because maybe they weren't ever taught that because you remember conviction
comes from how you've been taught.
And then when you know, Holy Spirit, Holy Spirit convinces you of righteousness constantly.
Yeah.
Right.
Leading you that way.
But they're willing to respect your conviction.
They're willing to respect your boundaries.
There are a lot of people like that.
And I think that that's good too.
All right.
Thank you.
I love you, Jessie.
You're so funny.
Oh, thank you.
You're welcome.
I appreciate it.
All right.
You guys, there's a singles conference in Jersey if I haven't told you guys about it.
It is March 22nd.
I'm going to put the registration for it.
It's at King of Kings Church.
I'm going to be there.
I'm the main speaker.
David will be there as well.
And then I'm going to be going to New York City after that.
And there's possibly something going on there, but definitely Jersey kind of just right over.
Maybe it's not right over.
I really haven't been in Jersey before.
So don't listen to me about where it is, but it is in Jersey.
And I'm going to be putting that information up.
And why did I think of that?
Because she just reminded me of a New Yorker and that's why.
So like it just in my head now.
Okay.
All right.
Um, let's see.
Pam.
Pam, you're up.
All right.
So I just want, um.
Wait one second.
I just want to, I want to put, I want to put the, I got to put down the, I got to put down
the spotlights and Pam, I just want to show you something too, real quick, cause I think
it's fun.
Hold on.
I feel like I had no intention of wearing this, but now I feel like I just wore it for
you.
All right.
I saw it earlier.
You see it?
I did.
Yeah.
I have a Tom Petty.
You guys have a Tom Petty shirt on.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay.
Pam, you're up.
Um, so I just want some advice on navigating a long distance.
So, um, was, uh, actually met a man, uh, not, not where I live.
Uh, we texted back and forth, chatted.
Um, then he brought up that, uh, we needed to meet sooner rather than later.
Uh, was I open to that?
I said, uh, yes.
Um, his son lives in the same city as I do.
And so I had, uh, last week off school, I, um, teach.
And so he asked if he could come and he did.
And we had a great time.
Um, uh, three Ms, very much a gentleman, um, spiritually, uh, same, same page.
Uh, we talked about kind of, um, hopes and dreams and similar there, uh, very
much has done a lot of, uh, growing.
He's a widower, uh, was married 42 years.
Um, but the physical, physical attraction just wasn't, it started to
grow, um, over the time that he was here, but just how long, how long was he there?
He was here for four days and we spent, we literally spent all day.
Like I took him hiking in Banff and he hiked 10 kilometers.
Oh, I want to go to bless his heart and kept up.
Um, so like we, like he, he showed up at my, my house.
Um, he asked if he could pick me up.
I said, yes.
Um, and like, he showed up at my door at 10 o'clock in the
morning and we were all day and, you know, um, okay.
Let me ask you a question.
First of all, that's an exhausting date.
Right.
So it's kind of hard to feel romantic when you're entertaining and you're
hosting someone, your city and all.
Let me ask you this.
Did you have emotional connection?
Did you have spiritual connection?
Did you have conversational connection?
You know, physical connection is not the most important thing at
the beginning of a relationship.
Um, yes, we did have all that.
Did you enjoy him and would you want to see him again?
Yes.
Cause I'm planning to go.
Um, the school that I'm teaching at has two breaks and, uh, I have another,
I have a break in March and so we're planning, I'm planning to go there.
I think that you guys have to understand that you're it's allowed,
you're allowed to let things grow.
It's not about falling in love.
Love's not a pothole.
You don't just walk out of your house and fall in a pothole.
It's about growing in affection and growing in love.
And it sounds like, you know, he, he went on that huge long hike with you.
Um, he came and visited, you guys had fun and you're going to see each other again.
I think that it's fine for this just to be a yes until it's a no.
Now, after several of these visits, if you know, the thought of him kissing you
makes you want to puke in your mouth, then we'll have to have
a conversation about that.
But, um, right now.
I'm very much a gentleman with that, like, you know,
with the physical and he, I mean,
not the sex before marriage, but just any physical.
He said, I'm leaving that up to you
to let me know when you're ready for that.
I love it.
You guys, that reminds me of something,
and I have no idea why that reminds me of this,
but I want to let you guys know that tomorrow,
that's right, tomorrow,
we are releasing the registration
for last trip single cruise.
And so we are going on a cruise in January, 2026.
You're going to want to get your spots right away.
We do have single occupancy,
but if you have a roommate
that you want to share a cabin with,
then we have double occupancy as well.
We have ocean view rooms.
We have all different types of rooms.
Guys, the deposit for that's only $120.
We're making it so affordable for you guys.
You can pay over the whole course of this year
until the fall to pay that off.
And I think that the cruise,
all in all, it's like $1,000 or something.
Of course, cruises are all inclusive
in case you didn't know that as far as food and everything.
So it's going to be so fun.
It's going to be great.
And so I have no idea why her saying this man's a gentleman
reminded me of that announcement.
But Pam, I'm super excited for you.
I hope you're excited for yourself
because this sounds like,
it sounds like you guys,
it's a little bud.
Is it going to blossom?
We hope it is, but right now it has potential.
It's a little bud and it's full of potential.
And so we're going to water it.
We're going to nurture it.
We're going to see where it goes.
We are.
So Pam, that's great.
That's wonderful.
All right.
Banff is beautiful.
I hope someday I get to go there
because I saw pictures of it and I was like,
wow, it's amazing.
I'll take you to all the non-tourist places there.
I will hold you to that.
And I will even go on that 10 kilometer hike with you.
It's my backyard.
I'm there all the time.
Let's do it.
All right, guys, the cruise, that's a good question.
I think it's going to the Bahamas
and it's going to Coco Cay Island.
It's going to be fun, you guys.
It's going to be so fun.
Am I going to be there?
Not sure, but I know that it's going to be fun regardless.
All right.
So you guys, thank you for joining us tonight for Love Seats.
If you guys have any questions
that I can do a little popcorn round here
for the next five minutes,
I will be more than happy to do that.
You can just jump in, just put them up.
Put them up, put them up, put them up,
put them up, put them up, put them up.
Details in the group.
Thank you, Cheryl.
And Cheryl, just for full disclosure,
wanted us to go to Banff
and she was trying to get a trip for us to go to Banff
and it didn't work out, but it is going to work out.
I know in the future it's going to happen.
All right.
Oh, yeah, it's in your backyard.
I know, it's so great.
Okay, you guys, so many fun things coming.
So excited for all you ladies
that are going to Cartagena with us again this year.
That's just two months away.
Cannot wait for that.
That we're going to have a conference, you guys.
We're going to have a singles conference
here in Austin, Texas in May.
All right.
So the details for that,
we're going to be releasing that as well.
We're in the planning stages of that.
I'm so excited about that registration
for the singles crews getting out.
Threatening that forever.
And now it's finally done and ready to go.
And I'm so excited about it because most of you,
it's doable for you to put down that little bit of money
and then pay a little bit here and there over time
to make sure that you can go.
And so I'm excited to make that more low hanging fruit
for you guys.
All right.
Father, we just thank you for your goodness and love.
I pray that you encourage all your sons and daughters
that they were made for this.
They were made for relationship
and that marriage and family
is part of your maturity process for mankind.
Whatever doubts we've been nurturing and feeding,
let us feed faith instead.
Let us starve our doubts and feed our faith, Lord.
We're just asking God that you would help us
to take action on the things that you've promised us,
to put ourselves out there, give us favor,
put favor on our face,
and let us step into the love stories
that you are already writing in Jesus name.
Amen.
All right.
Love you guys.
I'll see you soon.